#this was too much of my personality to not put on my main blog
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slumbrr-asks · 2 days ago
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Sorry everyone, I'm putting this ask-blog on hold for a while. I have so much asks that I want to answer and so little time as of late.
Please be patient, and don't dm me to answer you're things. Seriously.
I'm genuinely tweaking out irl right now with some personal things.
Annnnd try not to spam my main account with asks too.
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just-horrible-things · 3 days ago
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1. What is the main lesson of your story? Why did you choose it?
I feel like a lot of these questions reveal a very different approach to writing to mine. I don’t set out to impart lessons, I’m not interested in writing didactically. 
Unlikely Salvation has I guess some kind of lesson about change or forgiveness or that hurting people radicalises them and helping each other is the only way to mend rifts or something. But all of that grew organically, and there’s also a lot of fucked up stuff in there, a lot of “don’t try this at home”. Alex is way too forgiving early in the story, that’s not coming from a healthy place, that’s not a moral recommendation. It’s just an interesting thing for him as a character to do.
I think my other stories are further from having any “lessons” in them. Shit just happens, in some kind of sequence.
2. What did you use as inspiration for your worldbuilding?
Large parts of the Resistance ‘verse were made up by my co-author, so I can’t speak to that. The structure and behaviours of the feds are mostly based on reading about real-world fascist organisations.
My BBU works are obviously very heavily inspired by other BBU stories, especially the way @ashintheairlikesnow writes it.
Annihilation is purely vibes. I’m throwing in everything that feels cool to me at the time and I couldn’t name where those ideas are coming from. (I’m more likely to be able to put my finger on it in retrospect, once the shape of it comes clearer.)
3a. What is your MC trying to achieve, and what are you, the writer, trying to achieve with them?
Ariadne, my prime blorbo, is primarily motivated by seeking atonement, and by seeking Victory for her Cause.
Smith and Spider are mostly just trying to survive. Spider later trying to carve out her own identity.
Nikef is trying to win a war, preferably without losing what’s left of her selfhood along the way. Ahden is trying to keep Nikef alive and sane and not deciding to murder everyone.
I, the writer, am trying to tell interesting stories with characters who feel three-dimensional and textured.
3b. Do you want to inspire others, teach forgiveness or help the reader grow as a person?
No.
4. How many chapters is your story going to have?
Don’t know, don’t care. I’m not trying to write complete, finished things at this time in my life. Honestly I find the notion a bit intimidating, and while I’m sure I could do it and probably will at some point in the future, at the moment writing is mostly an outlet for random creative energy. I write out of order and at a whim.
5. Is it fan fiction or original content? Where do you plan to post it?
Original content. Only putting it on tumblr at present. If tumblr went away or became intolerable, I’d probably move it somewhere else, since enough people seem to enjoy it.
6. When did you start writing?
I don’t remember a time when I didn’t, honestly. Probably around the time I learned to, physically, write. There have been years and patches of years where my output was very low, but I’ve always made up stories and scrawled at least some of them down.
7a. Do you have any words of encouragement for fellow writers of writeblr?
It’s been said before, but write whatever you feel like writing. If you enjoy your story, if it matters to you, if it has meaning to you, that stuff will come through in your writing.
Don’t worry too much about quality. You’re always learning, you can always go back and edit stuff if you want it to be better. Stressing too much about the quality of output just gets you stuck in a loop of infinite editing or worse feeling too bad to write at all.
7b. What other writers do you follow?
So many. I’ve recently listed a few favourite stories. I’m following *checks* 279 blogs write now and I’d estimate 90% of them are writers.
I’m terrible at coming up with people to tag but uhhhh @mottinthemainpot, @justplainwhump ? No pressure.
Tag Game: Author Ask Tag
thxxxxxxx @sacratos for the tag!
Question Template: 1. What is the main lesson of your story? Why did you choose it? 2. What did you use as inspiration for your worldbuilding? 3. What is your MC trying to achieve, and what are you, the writer, trying to achieve with them? Do you want to inspire others, teach forgiveness or help the reader grow as a person? 4. How many chapters is your story going to have? 5. Is it fan fiction or original content? Where do you plan to post it? 6. When did you start writing? 7. Do you have any words of encouragement for fellow writers of writeblr? What other writers do you follow?
1. What is the main lesson of your story? Why did you choose it? 
Don’t be an idiot and actually communicate with those you love, lol. In all seriousness, I don’t know if my story has a main theme, but there are several themes for sure. The importance of having family that loves and supports you (whether found or biological), taking back autonomy of oneself, and the importance of community.
2. What did you use as inspiration for your worldbuilding? 
Other BBU/pet whump authors! If you have written for the BBU, trust me, I have used some idea of yours as inspiration somewhere. I also use middle school me’s obsession with dystopian novels as inspiration as well.
3. What is your MC trying to achieve, and what are you, the writer, trying to achieve with them? Do you want to inspire others, teach forgiveness or help the reader grow as a person? 
All my MCs are trying to heal, in one way or another and I want my readers to connect with my characters in some way. Not really teaching a lesson or having some big, major theme, but I want my characters to feel real and connect with the readers (yes, even if you want to kill them you cannot touch Star, he is immune from death)
4. How many chapters is your story going to have? 
Hahahaha ha ha ha. . . yeah, no clue
5. Is it fan fiction or original content? Where do you plan to post it? 
Original content from my brain! I post it here, and only here
6. When did you start writing? 
The minute I learned what stories were. I think I wrote my first “story” (bible fanfiction. No I will not be taking questions about that) when I was about seven or so, then my first full fanfiction at nine and I have not stopped since. 
7. Do you have any words of encouragement for fellow writers of writeblr? What other writers do you follow?
Read! Seriously, I cannot stress this enough! Read! And not just to compare yourselves with other writers–please don’t do that at all–but read to see how others write emotion, descriptions, characters, plots! Take what you like and figure out why you don’t like other kinds of writing, then apply what you want to your own writing. Also, your writing voice will develop in time. Don’t worry about that.
A large chunk of people I follow are writers! Can’t list all of them here, but they know who they are and their writings have inspired and shaped both my style and my content. Ilyasm! 
Tagging (w/o any pressure!) @quietly-by-myself @whump-card @sparrowsage @whumble-beeee @whumpyourdamnpears and anyone else who wants to join in!
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jynjackets · 3 months ago
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let the darkness set us free
follow my side blog for more art
⤷ @stardines
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mari-lair · 2 months ago
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did you give up on the sif is out ask blog?
I did, I'm sorry anon :(
I tried to do it cause I wanted to feel more like a part of the fandom (so many aus have asks blogs and everyone here is so friendly) but it just stressed me.
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velvetjune · 6 months ago
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remedy games are very good and people should play them
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zorosdimples · 6 months ago
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knowing i should take a step back from tumblr for my own wellbeing vs. being emotionally attached to this app and the people on it
#tumblr would be tumblr without me—as would the self ship community. it’s silly for me to feel so invested this Thing that is just that:#a Thing. it can’t give me the love or care or satisfaction with life that i’m looking for. i’ve been hiding on here—escaping reality.#because it’s fun to live in an imaginary world where i’m everything i want to be. where i’m the main character.#but in doing so i’ve been neglecting the ugly parts of my real life; the pain and hurt and harsh realities.#over the past couple months it has become apparent to me that i tend to put too much trust and effort into people#who have neither the capacity nor the desire to reciprocate.#so i just look like a fool in the end. (this isn’t about anyone here—just a pattern of behavior in general.)#at the end of the day#having thousands of followers on tumblr has no impact on my real life. if anything it makes me feel more isolated than ever.#because it’s yet another arena where i feel like i have to carve out my own space; i’ve never been good at taking up space.#anyway i suppose i’ll take the weekend away and see how i feel. i’ve had a lot of shit happening irl that has been so horribly difficult.#so maybe getting through all of that will help me feel more comfortable on my own blog again.#if you read this all i’m so sorry. i’ll prob regret posting my heartfelt thoughts in the future but at this very moment i don’t care.#self preservation be damned.#please support ficsforgaza; i’ll still be helping aleks over there because it’s one of the few places where i feel useful.#okay i’m done now. i’ll see you later. i wish you all so much love and nothing but the best.#tw personal
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sneezegoblin · 2 months ago
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I saw Justice LIVE and got my CD signed!!!
Normally I wouldn’t share this with the internet but I don’t want to annoy my friends too much with my Justice insanity so Tumblr has to come forth. And personally, I love reading fan encounters so this is for my fellow enjoyers :)
Summary: Fan (me) starts shaking so bad she almost glitches through the barricade. Xavier, is a sweetheart and still signs her CD!
THIS GOT SO LONG WTF (like really long)
So, Justice in Berlin: This totally epic, wow, amazing concert sadly concludes but Gaspard and Xavier procede, as usual to climb down from the stage and interact with the crowd while „The End“ blasts from the speakers.
My friend, which I befriended in line, and I are standing front row. Exactly in the middle where the stairs are at. (THE MOST PERFECT SPOT fr)
She pulls out her flexidisc (the one you got limited to the Tsugi Justice mag) and a marker. Xavier immediately spots it on his desent from the stage and makes a “:0!” face and “oohhhh🇫🇷” noise and signs it instantly. He really seemed impressed to see the flexidisc out in the wild lol. So cool! We both stood there grinning like maniacs! I was so happy for her! (Still am!! His reaction was so cool omg)
I also try do get him to sign my WWW CD but he turns and goes the other way.
Shortly after that I concluded that I might not be able to get that autograph bc after a few rounds of handshaking they went up stage again. Sad but eh, whatever. I am still blown away by the show and so HAPPY for her getting a signature. It was like I got one for myself lol.
My friend INSISTED that we will somehow get my CD signed (😭🙏🏻) but I accepted my fate at this point.
Gaspard despawned BUT! Xavier suprisingly went down again! As he was descending the stairs I reached out trying to get a last decent handshake from him haha.
My friend suddenly GRABS my arm and pulles it towards Xavier, yelling “She deserves it!!!” Mortified I watch, as my arm gets shoved into his eyesight.
Then the evening gets crazy.
He immediately looks me in the eyes though his glasses, smiles and gives me a cheerful handshake, while saying something??? (I don’t remember and the cheering is too loud in the video that captured this Insanity.)
I totally didn’t expected this blatant attention seeking to work so, like the starstruck idiot that I was yelled something like, „THANK YOU, I LOVE YOU!!“ over the music. (I meant to say „I LOVE YOUR MUSIC“ but my brain shortened it to THAT. Embarrassing :,))
He then again started signing stuff (At this night he signed so much stuff it was really sweet!)
My friend proceeds to shout at me to get my CD out again (I’ve put it away at some point).
I fumbled for my CD, while he was distracted by another lucky fan getting their Hyperdrama Vinyl signed. Patiently I try holding out my WWW CD and marker, while also trying to be cool about it.
Emphasis on “trying”, bc at this point I began shaking BADLY. Aghast I looked at my trembling hands and hoped for divine intervention or SOMETHING for it to stop before he notices.
My prayers weren’t heard bc at this point my friend next to me notices my chihuahua shaking and exclaims surprised and LOUD “Oh! She’s shaking!” She’s so nervous!” (the callout 😔 she apologized for that outburst later haha) and grabs my CD holding arm to steady it.
OF COURSE, of all things this catches his attention again
Xavier was now looking at me again in all his golden shiny glory, telling me again smiling “it’s okay 😁🇫🇷”
My answer was a laughed “I know! 😭” and to apologize (💀).
He grins, then looks at me through his shades, leans in and points with his right hand at my left ear and asked with a smirk „Where You listening to music while our show? 🇫🇷“ (context: I lost one of my plugs before the Encore and only had AirPods at hand. Not ideal! But better than nothing. The music was LOUD!)
Half of my brain was short-circuiting and caught off-guard by him directly addressing me and of his hand movement so close to my face I almost didn’t catch the question. He clarifies (bc I prob looked like a deer in headlights) and points at his own ears (still holding the aforementioned Hyperdrama vinyl) still smiling.
I managed to answer franticly with „HAHFAKDhaHa no no no Im not listening to music! I wore them for the music- the show! It was just so loud! hAhaHA” (imagine that sentence with the most juicy german accent you can imagine. Bye, bye C1 Level English skills.)
He nodded and made an acknowledging noise and shortly got distracted by the vinyl he was still holding that he quickly signed and gave back.
Meanwhile I was mortified at my own rambling and wishing for somebody to RELEASE ME from my embarrassment.
I was somehow still shakily holding my WWW CD and marker and REALLY embarrassed at my own reaction. But it was hopeless trying to stop the shaking. My friend was just patting my back and grinning and trying to soothe me (“it’s okay!”) but I was prisoner to my shaking form. I just repeated laughing shakily, “I know! Just ignore it! I’m sorry! :,,))”
He turns his attention back to me again after he returns the vinyl and sees me, probably looking absolutely mortified at my trembling CD-holding hand and apologizing profusely.
YOU KNOW WHAT HE DID NEXT?? I was still looking at my hand at this point trying telekinesis to WILL IT to STOP SHAKING. Suddenly two hands lightly took hold of my trembling CD-holding hand. I looked up and there was Xavier, in his shiny custom Celine jacket wearing glory HOLDING MY HAND??? What the fuck.
I REALLY want to know what typ of face I’ve must’ve pulled because he just started grinning at me as I looked up at him and again repeated, “it’s okay! 😁🇫🇷” and smoothly took the CD with both of his hands and then marker from my other hand and started signing the CD.
Guys, I died on the spot.
I just put my head into my shaking hands and laughed a frazzled “oh my god” and thanked him.
My friend (happy her determination paid off) smiled and pats my shoulder (she’s the real mvp here fr).
Meanwhile Xavier all smiley signed my CD and after briefly pausing adds a heart next to his name and gives it back to me.
I thank him and he answers with “…so good (…)”???? (can’t remember what he said and the video again didn’t catch it.)
Yeah, it was crazy.
I don’t know whether I should be happy or die of cringe. Either way, Xavier is a certified sweetheart hahaha
(real footage of my hands. JUST LOOK AT THEM! TRAITORS!!)
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The signature :DD
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l48yr1nth · 10 months ago
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Hi. Just wanted to say I really like your art. The way you use shapes is truly amazing and I love every art piece that comes up on my dash. :).
I AM. GOING. TO CRY.!
thank you and i love you and ur awesome and . i love you. :) :) :3
#labyanswering#incoming. incomprehensible ramblings#i seriously cannot say enough how much this rocks to read#i teared up a bit. maybe a sniffle#but i didn't tell you that#you. grab my heart and squeezed it a little#had to sit and take a breath for a second after reading and processing this ask#GRABS YOU#SHAKES YOU VIOLENTLY#DONT BE SO SWEET IN MY INBOX ! IM SHORT CIRCUITING AND OVERHEATING AND MALFUNCTIONING!!!#kisses u gently on the head /p#u are too sweet to me.#im going to. EXPLODE. ALL OVER. EVERYWHERE!!!!!!!!!!!!#if you ever talk to me again i will GET YOU#very very happy. veryVERY. happy.#have not been having the greatest of times (relatively) lately. u are why i keep going#i have like been struggling to keep up with my own blog lately and like. tears up a little.#i don't do art for validation but i'm NOT the social-est person so uploading and interacting is a bit of a difference from my usual self;;#and hearing that like. u guys like my stuff so much is my main (like 99%) motivation for continuing to draw and post#also this community rocks! i've made so many friends with similar interests!! I GET TO KNOW SO MANY AWESOME FUCKING ARTISTS!!#PEOPLE I FOR REAL LOOK UP TO IN TERMS OF ART TALK AND DRAW WITH ME!!#AND PEOPLE MIGHT LOOK UP TO ME AS WELL!#AND PEOPLE LIKE WHAT I MAKE!#AND I CAN SEE SO MANY THINGS OTHER PEOPLE MAKE!#THAT I LIKE SO MUCH!#im rambling so hard im sorry#but like i can't put it into words#properly at least#i may not know exactly who you are but i need you to know that i think ur awesome! u rock!#ok im up an hour past when i usually go to bed i have to GO. BYE.
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dreamyprinx · 2 years ago
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would y’all like be interested in seeing more like crafts/jewelry from me since I’m taking a break from love digital art for the most part?
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orcelito · 2 years ago
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L m f a o I think I know who sent the "entitled little shit" anon last night actually
Not naming names but it's nice to actually be able to block them
#speculation nation#dont know for sure but it was someone who was following me who's not now#saw them in the tag and had an epiphany.#mostly guess-work but i have a good memory & i Know they followed me recently. only to unfollow.#im gonna stop complaining about this after this post but like. lmfao.#upon waking up i thought back to it and i Still think im right#calling someone an 'entitled little shit' due to justified anger in a place where they cant even SEE IT#is not that big of a deal lmfao.#i promise u there is so much more vitriolic stuff in other ppl's tags on that post & That's the hill u choose to die on? ok.#reads like someone who hasnt been on tumblr much. ive seen soooo much worse around. 'entitled little shit' is Tame#and frankly? the blatant truth! the person in that post is 100% entitled.#and i have the right as a writer to call them a little shit about it 😊#as for how i recognized them. i do look at new followers. blocking bots & checking to see if id wanna follow back#that sorta thing. im a little selective bc i dont want my dash to be too long so i dont follow back that often#but im generally aware of my followers. & i appreciate & recognize them when theyre nice to me. even if theyre not mutuals.#so yea this person was recognizable enough for me to notice their absence. & they so helpfully posted in main tag for me to see.#im not gonna start a fight directly with them but i sure as hell am gonna be a petty little bitch on my own blog#that's what this is FOR man! whats the POINT if i cant complain?????#anyways Yea thats all for that weird little bit of drama. putting Entitled Little Shit to rest.
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waywardsalt · 1 year ago
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some assorted (post ph centric) linebeck n bellum thoughts
its still weird trying to parse out what im trying to do with shipping them.
there’s the level that they kind of want to study each other, and they know each other very intimately and relate to each other, but what else?
bellum tends to be clingy, crossing boundaries that he knows exists every so often at first until linebeck firmly expresses his discomfort, and either way bellum just sticks around him, hangs off of him in both demon and humanoid form, is most comfortable around linebeck.
linebeck finds bellum fun to talk with, considering his several centuries of knowledge, and ends up hanging out with him during some sleepless nights because he’s the easiest to talk about nothing with. bellum's probably a half-decent storyteller.
they do the most fishing, linebeck surprisingly patient with it while bellum's version of 'fishing' tends to just be jumping in and showing back up an hour later with whatever he found. linebeck can't swim or... breathe underwater, so he can't participate in bellum's version, but bellum sometimes sticks around the whole time linebeck fishes.
the first few weeks/months after bellum joins the crew linebeck is obviously wary of him, but also the only one bellum will even remotely listen to, so while he’s scared of him, he has plenty of time to get used to his presence and further talk things through. he never fully gets over it, seeing bellum’s eyes right after waking up, in the dark, or when he’s struggling will always at least make him jump, or panic at the worst. being suddenly grabbed by bellum’s tentacles also makes him jump/panic- bellum learns to be more gentle and careful with him.
bellum isn’t jumpy with linebeck- just with link, who he is on bad terms with for a while- but mostly just cautiously curious, since linebeck did the opposite of what he expected pretty much the entire time during their first encounter. to bellum he’s kind of a rabid but fragile lab animal that he desperately needs to study or else.
romance is weird between them, they do go on scattered ‘dates’, usually outings on a populated island to people watch or check out some art. they don’t go out to eat in public; bellum refuses to be anything but an animal about it. usually they’ll make something to eat together on the ship. almost always using some fresh meat they caught, most often shellfish.
anything physical they do is typically for the purpose of exploration over sexually pleasing; bellum isn’t really interested in sex, anyways, but interested in the reactions of others and see how human bodies seem to work. he’s not shameful about being naked (not that he has anything to hide in his human form anyways), he and linebeck have an almost anatomical fascination with each others’ bodies, it’s difficult to explain and still abstract in my mind.
bellum does bite linebeck. its fine for reasons that would require a few paragraphs and polishing my end, but it’s fine, bellum bites linebeck, linebeck can’t really bite him since he’s impervious to pretty much all physical harm barring phantom sword-adjacent stuff.
its not really like. straight up romantic/sexual but i’m not sure what else to call this other than a ship, just like a strange intimate relationship that started with whatever the fuck happened behind the scenes with bellumbeck
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jadevine · 1 year ago
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Preindustrial travel, and long explanations on why different distances are like that
Update March 1, 2024: Hey there folks, here's yet another update! I reposted Part 2a (the "medieval warhorses" tangent) to my writing blog, and I went down MORE of the horse-knowledge rabbit hole! https://www.tumblr.com/jadevine/741423906984951808/my-post-got-cut-off-so-i-added-the-rest-of-it Update Jan 30, 2024: Hey folks, I've posted the updated version of this post on my blog, so I don't have to keep frantically telling everyone "hey, that's the old version of this post!" https://thebalangay.wordpress.com/2024/01/29/preindustrial-travel-times-part-1/
I should get the posts about army travel times and camp followers reformatted and posted to my blog around the end of the week, so I'll filter through my extremely tangled thread for them.
Part 2 - Preindustrial ARMY travel times: https://www.tumblr.com/jadevine/739342239113871360/now-for-a-key-aspect-that-many-people-often-ask
Part 2a - How realistic warhorses look and act, because the myth of "all knights were mounted on huge clunky draft horses" just refuses to die: https://www.tumblr.com/jadevine/732043691180605440/helpful-things-for-action-writers-to-remember
Part 3 - Additional note about camp followers being regular workers AND sex-workers: https://www.tumblr.com/jadevine/740604203134828544/reblogging-the-time-looped-version-of-my
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I saw a post on my main blog about how hiking groups need to keep pace with their slowest member, but many hikers mistakenly think that the point of hiking is "get from Point A to Point B as fast as possible" instead of "spending time outdoors in nature with friends," and then they complain that a new/less-experienced/sick/disabled hiker is spoiling their time-frame by constantly needing breaks, or huffing and puffing to catch up.
I run into a related question of "how long does it take to travel from Point A to Point B on horseback?" a lot, as a fantasy writer who wants to be SEMI-realistic; in the Western world at least, our post-industrial minds have largely forgotten what it's like to travel, both on our own feet and in groups.
People ask the new writer, "well, who in your cast is traveling? Is getting to Point B an emergency or not? What time of year is it?", and the newbies often get confused as to why they need so much information for "travel times." Maybe new writers see lists of "preindustrial travel times" like a primitive version of Google Maps, where all you need to do is plug in Point A and Point B.
But see, Google Maps DOES account for traveling delays, like different routes, constructions, accidents, and weather; you as the person will also need to figure in whether you're driving a car versus taking a bus/train, and so you'll need to figure out parking time or waiting time for the bus/train to actually GET THERE.
The difference between us and preindustrial travelers is that 1) we can outsource the calculations now, 2) we often travel for FUN instead of necessity.
The general rule of thumb for preindustrial times is that a healthy and prime-aged adult on foot, or a rider/horse pair of fit and prime-aged adults, can usually make 20-30 miles per day, in fair weather and on good terrain.
Why is this so specific? Because not everyone in preindustrial times was fit, not everyone was healthy, not everyone was between the ages of 20-35ish, and not everyone had nice clear skies and good terrain to travel on.
If you are too far below 18 years old or too far past 40, at best you will need either a slower pace or more frequent breaks to cover the same distance, and at worst you'll cut the travel distance in half to 10 or so miles. Too much walking is VERY BAD on too-young/old knees, and teenagers or very short adults may just have short legs even if they're fine with 8-10 hours of actual walking. Young children may get sick of walking and pitch a fit because THEY'RE TIREDDDDDDDDDD, and then you might need to stay put while they cry it out, or an adult may sigh and haul them over their shoulder (and therefore be weighed down by about 50lbs of Angry Child).
Heavy forests, wetlands and rocky hills/mountains are also going to be a much shorter "distance" per day. For forests or wetlands, you have to account for a lot of villagers going "who's gonna cut down acres of trees for one road? NOT ME," or "who's gonna drain acres of swamp for one road? NOT ME." Mountainous regions have their traveling time eaten by going UP, or finding a safer path that goes AROUND, so by the time you're done slogging through drier patches of wetlands or squeezing through trees, a deceptively short 10-15 miles in rough terrain might take you a whole day to walk instead of the usual half-day.
If you are traveling in freezing winters or during a rainstorm (and this inherently means you HAVE NO CHOICE, because nobody in preindustrial times would travel in bad weather if they could help it), you run the high risk of losing your way and then dying of exposure or slipping and breaking your neck, just a few miles out of the town/village.
Traveling in TOO-HOT weather is just as bad, because pushing yourself too hard and getting dehydrated at noon in the tropics will literally kill you. It's called heat-STROKE, not "heat-PARTY."
And now for the upper range of "traveling on horseback!"
Fully mounted groups can usually make 30-40 miles per day between Point A and Point B, but I find there are two unspoken requirements: "Point B must have enough food for all those people and horses," and "the mounted party DOESN'T need to keep pace with foot soldiers, camp followers, or supply wagons."
This means your mounted party would be traveling to 1) a rendezvous point like an ally's camp or a noble's castle, or 2) a town/city with plenty of inns. Maybe they're not literally going 30-40 miles in one trip, but they're scouting the area for 15-20 miles and then returning to their main group. Perhaps they'd be going to an allied village, but even a relatively small group of 10-20 warhorses will need 10-20 pounds of grain EACH and 20-30 pounds of hay EACH. 100-400 pounds of grain and 200-600 pounds of hay for the horses alone means that you need to stash supplies at the village beforehand, or the village needs to be a very large/prosperous one to have a guaranteed large surplus of food.
A dead sprint of 50-60 miles per day is possible for a preindustrial mounted pair, IF YOU REALLY, REALLY HAVE TO. Moreover, that is for ONE day. Many articles agree that 40 miles per day is already a hard ride, so 50-60 miles is REALLY pushing the envelope on horse and rider limits.
NOTE: While modern-day endurance rides routinely go for 50-100 miles in one day, remember that a preindustrial rider will not have the medical/logistical support that a modern endurance rider and their horse does.
If you say "they went fifty miles in a day" in most preindustrial times, the horse and rider's bodies will get wrecked. Either the person, their horse, or both, risk dying of exhaustion or getting disabled from the strain.
Whether you and your horse are fit enough to handle it and "only" have several days of defenselessness from severe pain/fatigue (and thus rely on family/friends to help you out), or you die as a heroic sacrifice, or you aren't QUITE fit enough and become disabled, or you get flat-out saved by magic or another rider who volunteers to go the other half, going past 40 miles in a day is a "Gondor Calls For Aid" level of emergency.
As a writer, I feel this kind of feat should be placed VERY carefully in a story: Either at the beginning to kick the plot off, at the climax to turn the tide, or at the end.
Preindustrial people were people--some treated their horses as tools/vehicles, and didn't care if they were killed or disabled by pushing them to their limits, but others very much cared for their horses. They needed to keep them in working condition for about 15-20 years, and they would not dream of doing this without a VERY good reason.
UPDATE January 13: Several people have gotten curious and looked at maps, to find out how a lot of cities are indeed spread out at a nice distance of 20-30 miles apart! I love getting people interested in my hyperfixations, lol.
But remember that this is the space between CITIES AND TOWNS. There should never be a 20-mile stretch of empty wilderness between City A and Town B, unless your world explains why folks are able to build a city in the middle of nowhere, or if something has specifically gone wrong to wipe out its supporting villages!
Period pieces often portray a shining city rising from a sea of picturesque empty land, without a single grain field or cow pasture in sight, but that city would starve to death very quickly in preindustrial times.
Why? Because as Bret Devereaux mentions in his “Lonely Cities” article (https://acoup.blog/2019/07/12/collections-the-lonely-city-part-i-the-ideal-city/), preindustrial cities and towns must have nearby villages (and even smaller towns, if large and prosperous enough!) to grow their food for them.
The settlements around a city will usually be scattered a few miles apart from each other, usually clustered along the roads to the city gates. Those villages and towns at the halfway point between cities (say 10-15 miles) are going to be essential stops for older/sick folks, merchants with cargo, and large groups like noble’s retinues and army forces.
Preindustrial armies and large noble retinues usually can’t make it far past 10-12 miles per day, as denoted in my addition to this post. (https://www.tumblr.com/jadevine/739342239113871360/now-for-a-key-aspect-that-many-people-often-ask )
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tinystepsforward · 4 months ago
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autocrattic (more matt shenanigans, not tumblr this time)
I am almost definitely not the right person for this writeup, but I'm closer than most people on here, so here goes! This is all open-source tech drama, and I take my time laying out the context, but the short version is: Matt tried to extort another company, who immediately posted receipts, and now he's refusing to log off again. The long version is... long.
If you don't need software context, scroll down/find the "ok tony that's enough. tell me what's actually happening" heading, or just go read the pink sections. Or look at this PDF.
the background
So. Matt's original Good Idea was starting WordPress with fellow developer Mike Little in 2003, which is free and open-source software (FOSS) that was originally just for blogging, but now powers lots of websites that do other things. In particular, Automattic acquired WooCommerce a long time ago, which is free online store software you can run on WordPress.
FOSS is... interesting. It's a world that ultimately is powered by people who believe deeply that information and resources should be free, but often have massive blind spots (for example, Wikipedia's consistently had issues with bias, since no amount of "anyone can edit" will overcome systemic bias in terms of who has time to edit or is not going to be driven away by the existing contributor culture). As with anything else that people spend thousands of hours doing online, there's drama. As with anything else that's technically free but can be monetized, there are:
Heaps of companies and solo developers who profit off WordPress themes, plugins, hosting, and other services;
Conflicts between volunteer contributors and for-profit contributors;
Annoying founders who get way too much credit for everything the project has become.
the WordPress ecosystem
A project as heavily used as WordPress (some double-digit percentage of the Internet uses WP. I refuse to believe it's the 43% that Matt claims it is, but it's a pretty large chunk) can't survive just on the spare hours of volunteers, especially in an increasingly monetised world where its users demand functional software, are less and less tech or FOSS literate, and its contributors have no fucking time to build things for that userbase.
Matt runs Automattic, which is a privately-traded, for-profit company. The free software is run by the WordPress Foundation, which is technically completely separate (wordpress.org). The main products Automattic offers are WordPress-related: WordPress.com, a host which was designed to be beginner-friendly; Jetpack, a suite of plugins which extend WordPress in a whole bunch of ways that may or may not make sense as one big product; WooCommerce, which I've already mentioned. There's also WordPress VIP, which is the fancy bespoke five-digit-plus option for enterprise customers. And there's Tumblr, if Matt ever succeeds in putting it on WordPress. (Every Tumblr or WordPress dev I know thinks that's fucking ridiculous and impossible. Automattic's hiring for it anyway.)
Automattic devotes a chunk of its employees toward developing Core, which is what people in the WordPress space call WordPress.org, the free software. This is part of an initiative called Five for the Future — 5% of your company's profits off WordPress should go back into making the project better. Many other companies don't do this.
There are lots of other companies in the space. GoDaddy, for example, barely gives back in any way (and also sucks). WP Engine is the company this drama is about. They don't really contribute to Core. They offer relatively expensive WordPress hosting, as well as providing a series of other WordPress-related products like LocalWP (local site development software), Advanced Custom Fields (the easiest way to set up advanced taxonomies and other fields when making new types of posts. If you don't know what this means don't worry about it), etc.
Anyway. Lots of strong personalities. Lots of for-profit companies. Lots of them getting invested in, or bought by, private equity firms.
Matt being Matt, tech being tech
As was said repeatedly when Matt was flipping out about Tumblr, all of the stuff happening at Automattic is pretty normal tech company behaviour. Shit gets worse. People get less for their money. WordPress.com used to be a really good place for people starting out with a website who didn't need "real" WordPress — for $48 a year on the Personal plan, you had really limited features (no plugins or other customisable extensions), but you had a simple website with good SEO that was pretty secure, relatively easy to use, and 24-hour access to Happiness Engineers (HEs for short. Bad job title. This was my job) who could walk you through everything no matter how bad at tech you were. Then Personal plan users got moved from chat to emails only. Emails started being responded to by contractors who didn't know as much as HEs did and certainly didn't get paid half as well. Then came AI, and the mandate for HEs to try to upsell everyone things they didn't necessarily need. (This is the point at which I quit.)
But as was said then as well, most tech CEOs don't publicly get into this kind of shitfight with their users. They're horrid tyrants, but they don't do it this publicly.
ok tony that's enough. tell me what's actually happening
WordCamp US, one of the biggest WordPress industry events of the year, is the backdrop for all this. It just finished.
There are.... a lot of posts by Matt across multiple platforms because, as always, he can't log off. But here's the broad strokes.
Sep 17
Matt publishes a wanky blog post about companies that profit off open source without giving back. It targets a specific company, WP Engine.
Compare the Five For the Future pages from Automattic and WP Engine, two companies that are roughly the same size with revenue in the ballpark of half a billion. These pledges are just a proxy and aren’t perfectly accurate, but as I write this, Automattic has 3,786 hours per week (not even counting me!), and WP Engine has 47 hours. WP Engine has good people, some of whom are listed on that page, but the company is controlled by Silver Lake, a private equity firm with $102 billion in assets under management. Silver Lake doesn’t give a dang about your Open Source ideals. It just wants a return on capital. So it’s at this point that I ask everyone in the WordPress community to vote with your wallet. Who are you giving your money to? Someone who’s going to nourish the ecosystem, or someone who’s going to frack every bit of value out of it until it withers?
(It's worth noting here that Automattic is funded in part by BlackRock, who Wikipedia calls "the world's largest asset manager".)
Sep 20 (WCUS final day)
WP Engine puts out a blog post detailing their contributions to WordPress.
Matt devotes his keynote/closing speech to slamming WP Engine.
He also implies people inside WP Engine are sending him information.
For the people sending me stuff from inside companies, please do not do it on your work device. Use a personal phone, Signal with disappearing messages, etc. I have a bunch of journalists happy to connect you with as well. #wcus — Twitter I know private equity and investors can be brutal (read the book Barbarians at the Gate). Please let me know if any employee faces firing or retaliation for speaking up about their company's participation (or lack thereof) in WordPress. We'll make sure it's a big public deal and that you get support. — Tumblr
Matt also puts out an offer live at WordCamp US:
“If anyone of you gets in trouble for speaking up in favor of WordPress and/or open source, reach out to me. I’ll do my best to help you find a new job.” — source tweet, RTed by Matt
He also puts up a poll asking the community if WP Engine should be allowed back at WordCamps.
Sep 21
Matt writes a blog post on the WordPress.org blog (the official project blog!): WP Engine is not WordPress.
He opens this blog post by claiming his mom was confused and thought WP Engine was official.
The blog post goes on about how WP Engine disabled post revisions (which is a pretty normal thing to do when you need to free up some resources), therefore being not "real" WordPress. (As I said earlier, WordPress.com disables most features for Personal and Premium plans. Or whatever those plans are called, they've been renamed like 12 times in the last few years. But that's a different complaint.)
Sep 22: More bullshit on Twitter. Matt makes a Reddit post on r/Wordpress about WP Engine that promptly gets deleted. Writeups start to come out:
Search Engine Journal: WordPress Co-Founder Mullenweg Sparks Backlash
TechCrunch: Matt Mullenweg calls WP Engine a ‘cancer to WordPress’ and urges community to switch providers
Sep 23 onward
Okay, time zones mean I can't effectively sequence the rest of this.
Matt defends himself on Reddit, casually mentioning that WP Engine is now suing him.
Also here's a decent writeup from someone involved with the community that may be of interest.
WP Engine drops the full PDF of their cease and desist, which includes screenshots of Matt apparently threatening them via text.
Twitter link | Direct PDF link
This PDF includes some truly fucked texts where Matt appears to be trying to get WP Engine to pay him money unless they want him to tell his audience at WCUS that they're evil.
Matt, after saying he's been sued and can't talk about it, hosts a Twitter Space and talks about it for a couple hours.
He also continues to post on Reddit, Twitter, and on the Core contributor Slack.
Here's a comment where he says WP Engine could have avoided this by paying Automattic 8% of their revenue.
Another, 20 hours ago, where he says he's being downvoted by "trolls, probably WPE employees"
At some point, Matt updates the WordPress Foundation trademark policy. I am 90% sure this was him — it's not legalese and makes no fucking sense to single out WP Engine.
Old text: The abbreviation “WP” is not covered by the WordPress trademarks and you are free to use it in any way you see fit. New text: The abbreviation “WP” is not covered by the WordPress trademarks, but please don’t use it in a way that confuses people. For example, many people think WP Engine is “WordPress Engine” and officially associated with WordPress, which it’s not. They have never once even donated to the WordPress Foundation, despite making billions of revenue on top of WordPress.
Sep 25: Automattic puts up their own legal response.
anyway this fucking sucks
This is bigger than anything Matt's done before. I'm so worried about my friends who're still there. The internal ramifications have... been not great so far, including that Matt's naturally being extra gung-ho about "you're either for me or against me and if you're against me then don't bother working your two weeks".
Despite everything, I like WordPress. (If you dig into this, you'll see plenty of people commenting about blocks or Gutenberg or React other things they hate. Unlike many of the old FOSSheads, I actually also think Gutenberg/the block editor was a good idea, even if it was poorly implemented.)
I think that the original mission — to make it so anyone can spin up a website that's easy enough to use and blog with — is a good thing. I think, despite all the ways being part of FOSS communities since my early teens has led to all kinds of racist, homophobic and sexual harm for me and for many other people, that free and open-source software is important.
So many people were already burning out of the project. Matt has been doing this for so long that those with long memories can recite all the ways he's wrecked shit back a decade or more. Most of us are exhausted and need to make money to live. The world is worse than it ever was.
Social media sucks worse and worse, and this was a world in which people missed old webrings, old blogs, RSS readers, the world where you curated your own whimsical, unpaid corner of the Internet. I started actually actively using my own WordPress blog this year, and I've really enjoyed it.
And people don't want to deal with any of this.
The thing is, Matt's right about one thing: capital is ruining free open-source software. What he's wrong about is everything else: the idea that WordPress.com isn't enshittifying (or confusing) at a much higher rate than WP Engine, the idea that WP Engine or Silver Lake are the only big players in the field, the notion that he's part of the solution and not part of the problem.
But he's started a battle where there are no winners but the lawyers who get paid to duke it out, and all the volunteers who've survived this long in an ecosystem increasingly dominated by big money are giving up and leaving.
Anyway if you got this far, consider donating to someone on gazafunds.com. It'll take much less time than reading this did.
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saetoru · 1 year ago
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✩ ‧₊˚ ✩ BACKSTAGE SHOW — LYNEY.
contents. fem! reader, minors and ageless blogs do not interact, fingering, handjobs, unprotected + semi public sex, creampie
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lyney, as all his charisma and charm suggests, is a risk taker—it’s why he has you pinned against the wall like this, backstage right before a show.
he shouldn’t. you shouldn’t. you both shouldn’t—but you will.
“lyney,” you warn, pulling away from his lips as he kisses you, hungry, needy, desperate, “we can’t—not here.”
he smirks a little against your mouth, let’s that smooth chuckle of his fan against your lips as he pecks them lightly. he’s amused when his brows quirk up and he stares at you like he has you cornered—he technically does.
“oh? can’t we?” he muses, “i guess not everyone is a fan of big audiences like me—don’t worry,” he presses a kiss to your jaw, “the stage is all ours here.”
“but anyone could walk by—”
“if we’re quick, everyone will be preoccupied—just like i planned it,” he winks.
of course. of course he’d plan to have everyone occupied just long enough that he could fuck you right behind the stage of his own show. you shouldn’t be surprised, yet here you are, gaping at him like he’s insane.
maybe he is, you think, maybe that’s why his tricks are so impressive—he’s not afraid to make a dangerous decision here and there.
“but—”
“i’m awfully nervous for this show,” he pouts, head falling back theatrically as he sighs, “i wish there was a way for me to relax before such a big performance. just to help calm my nerves—oh! wait,” he pretends to light up with an idea, hand squeezing at your tit as he grins, “i suppose there is one way.”
“you’re too much,” you groan.
it’s too late, his victorious grin is already flashing at you as he tugs down your pants, pushing the fabric of your underwear to the side before his finger brushes against your slit. he smiles smugly at the way you’re dripping already, slipping two fingers past your folds and deep into your cunt.
he watches you intently, stares at every reaction, every flutter of your eyes and every part of your lips, taking in the soft gasps as he brushes against that tender spot deep into your walls.
“look at that,” he coos, “you sure know how to put on a show of your own—much better than me, in fact.”
“l-lyney,” you pant, rolling your hips to meet his fingers as they thrust into you. you whine when his palm rolls against your clit, coating his hand in your slicked arousal.
“this is my favorite show,” he murmurs, pressing a kiss to your temple as his fingers sink in and out of your dripping core, “it’s such a shame no one else gets to see this—you’d be more popular than me.”
“you’re shameless,” you gasp—but you cut yourself off with a whimper when he curls his digits just right as they bully into you. you can feel his erection poke through his shorts, pressing against your thigh as he leans closer.
“now now,” he mumbles, sucking soft marks into your neck, “you might want to hurry—otherwise we won’t have time for the main act.”
just like that, you fall apart, right there in the back of the stage, not far from a crowd of people waiting to see the same person who’s knuckles deep into your pussy. you gasp, choking on a broken wail of his name as he works you through your high, thrusting into you as you squeeze around his fingers.
you’re breath is erratic—harsh as you breathe and stare into his amused eyes.
and then you don’t waste a second—slipping his pants down just enough to free his strained cock, flushed and pink and swollen at the tip as it leaks with pre cum. you smear it along the head, taking your time to slowly stroke him as he lets out a breathy gasp, head falling into your shoulder as his hips buck into your touch.
“i’m honored you enjoyed my performance,” you hum, “but i think the real performer is always you.” you’re grinning, turning your head and kissing right over his braid.
he chuckles between pants, moans low against your ear and sends shivers through your heated body with every sound he makes. you can’t wait any longer—and something tells you he can’t either, not with the way his hand gently replaces yours, guiding his stiff cock so that his tip is grazing your slit.
“trust me,” he breathes softly, tone much gentler this time, “this isn’t like my performances. this is real—” and then he’s pushing into you, right past your folds and sinking deep into your cunt where his tip kisses that sweet spot at the back of your walls.
it feels real—it always does: the way he kisses you, the way his arms wrap around you, the way he breathes your name like it’s the most important thing he’s ever said. his hips pull back before they snap forward in a deep thrust, slamming his tip back to hit that spot that makes you curl your fingers and dig into his shoulder.
you can feel the drag of every vein against your walls, feel the friction burn pleasure through every nerve as his pelvis meets your clit and bumps against it. it’s good—he’s good, always knows just how to make you forget about your surroundings as all you feel is him.
“lyney,” you whimper, letting him press his mouth over yours to silence you, swallowing every sound you make as he rolls his hips and quivers over your body at the way you suck him in.
it’s a mess—your arousal smeared between your thighs, his glistening cock pulling out before sinking right back into you, filling the small room with the wet sound of him fucking you desperately. you pull him closer by his shirt, and he whines into your mouth as you clench around him after a particularly harsh roll of his hips.
“do you feel me?” he hums, groaning as his head pushes deeper into your neck, hiding into the crook of it as his lips press hot kisses into the skin, “‘cause i can feel you—feels good doesn’t it?”
“yes,” you mewl, fingers trailing to sink into his hair, pulling and making him whimper at the tug, “‘s good—so good.”
he’s close—you can tell from the first twitch of his cock, from the way his pace is sloppier and his body slumps more weight into you, soft whines and low gasps filling your ear as you near your own high. your hips snap up to meet his, pushing him deeper, harder against you and hitting your spot perfectly.
it’s enough to make you sob his name, enough to make you squeeze just tight enough as you cum to make him crash into his own orgasm too—hot, thick ropes of cum filling you to the brim, spilling down the sides of your thighs and being fucked right back into you as he works you both through your highs without stopping.
“c-cumming,” he chokes—lyney is always so perfect like this, so pretty and magnetic when he falls apart right there against your body, with strained whines and broken calls of your name pushing past his lips as pleasure takes over every inch of his body.
you’re not sure when his performance starts, or if anyone’s nearby to listen, or if they’ve already witnessed this show you’ve put on yourselves—but you don’t care. you’re too busy cumming around his cock to think about that at the moment.
he slumps over you as he finishes at the same time you do, panting, and out of breath. you whimper and he shudders when he pulls out, cum oozing down the side of your leg—and you think he might just be glowing at the sight, grinning before he looks up and meets your gaze.
“how perfect,” he hums, “now you have a token to know i’m thinking of you during my performance.”
it’s show-stopping—that wink of his, charming and enough to make you throb between your legs all over again as he presses a sweet peck to your lips before adjusting his clothes.
you roll your eyes, opening your mouth respond before—
“lyney,” you hear lynette’s voice call from the distance, “what’s taking you so long? you have to be on soon.”
“be right there,” he calls, twirling his hat before setting it on his head, as he looks at you smugly, “i was just getting over my nerves, is all.”
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girl bye id let him fuck me on stage too why lie
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bopero · 3 months ago
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sunspots
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summary - a collection of hamzah’s lack of self control when it comes to you. warnings - swearing, reader is a kpop stan lol note - hai :3 i have been so obsessed with hamzah lately i had to get it out of my system. this is a side blog as im too embarrassed to post on my main fic blog. enjoy and send ideas!
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polycule reveal - out of character #100
The podcast starts like any other. Hamzah and Martin sit in the middle of the couch, with Mandy and you on either side of them. It’s the first episode that has you featured in it, and Hamzah is quick to settle any nerves you have with a soft smile and a squeeze of your shoulder. “So, yeah guys. There’s another member in our polycule now, this is Hamzah’s contribution.” Martin points towards you. Hamzah shakes his head, “Alright, bro…”. “Does that mean I get a share of the YouTube channel? Mandy, have they ever given you money?” Mandy clicks her tongue and continues in her deadpan voice, “Um, no. Basically they keep me in their dungeon until they need more views. I’d run away if I were you, honestly.” You pretend to look nervously between Hamzah and Martin, “Honestly I didn’t wanna say it but the basement Hamzah keeps me in is super gross.” “I don’t like this bit. Viewers, please be advised I do not keep my girlfriend in a basement for views. I don’t know about Martin, though.” “Dang it, first episode and they’re already making us look like idiots, Mandy. We need to try harder.”
becoming bts - out of character #104
The episode is you, Hamzah, and Martin. Hamzah is sat obviously much closer to you (which the comments are quick to mention, laughing at the lack of personal space he gives you.) “Yeah, a lot of the Slushies have been asking me if I’m a kpop stan. My ult bias-” Hamzah throws his hands into the air dramatically as he sees you pull a small photocard out of your wallet. A familiar face makes him groan loudly, “Oh, don’t even get me started on this fool! I am sick and tired of seeing him everywhere!” You proudly show off the photocard to the camera despite Hamzah’s childish complaints. Martin leans over to take a look at the photo in your hands, “Bro, what’s the big deal? Is this like challenging your alphaness?” You laugh loudly and Hamzah smiles, betraying the annoyed facade he’s putting on, “No! He just haunts me. She knows when his birthday is and shit and what he ate for breakfast that day, like bro,” he turns to you, pointing at you accusingly, “You don’t ask what I eat for breakfast.” Martin grabs his shoulder, as if to calm him down, “Bro. You know what this means. You have to defend your woman.” Hamzah turns to Martin and before you can question them, they begin singing together and waving their arms in the air, “Shoot dat boy in da head, shoot dat boy in da head!” The episode ends with you deadpanning at the camera as they chant beside you.
don’t play this game at 3 am (not clickbait!!!)
Martin and Hamzah had listened to their viewers, your first feature on the channel being in a Resident Evil gameplay. The comments are filled with ‘i slushed everywhere when i saw yn in the thumbnail’ and ‘hamzah holding onto yn everytime there’s a jumpscare boyy aren’t u supposed to b da man?’ You sit between the two men who both inadvertently curl into you as the creepy aura permeates outside the game as well. Martin dramatically holds onto his head as you shoot bullets into the grossly looking zombies on the screen, “Oh, god they’re gonna eat us out! Quick, grab more ammo!” “Ok, I don’t think they’re gonna do all that-” They both jump as a loud, sharp groan comes from the speaker. Hamzah in particular lets out his signature high-pitched scream. Martin seems to break character and laughs aloud as Hamzah shakes his head in embarrassment, turning away from the camera so it won’t catch the bright blush on his cheeks when you coo at him. “Aww, did you pee yourself?” Martin tries to speak through laughter, “I think you did, dude there’s a wet spot-” Hamzah quickly denies it, “Ok, stop lying to all the slushies, bro, I did not pee myself. I’m sick of this, turn off this trash ass game-” “It’s ok, babe. I’ll protect you, I’m your Leon.” Martin waves a blushing Hamzah over, “Yeah, come on you big baby. It’s not even that scary-wait don’t go in there-“
vacation
Hamzah had convinced you to create your own channel, due to the growing comments begging him to convince you to do so. You hadn’t expected much, but it’d at least be a nice way to share sweet memories between the two of you. The vlog starts with you sat in front of your vanity, as you complete your routine. You talk animatedly about the vacation you’re on with your boyfriend, mentioning the beautiful sights you’ve seen and the delicious food you’ve had so far. You don’t notice but Hamzah walks into the room, quietly sneaking into view when he notices you’re filming. He’s too sweet to scare you on purpose, so he only places the bag of food in front of you and waves towards the camera, “Hiii, it’s me, Hamzah. Remember me?” You push him out of frame, “Ew, get your big head out of here!” The bottom half of his body remains in frame as you look up at him from the seat, “What?! This is how youtubers act behind the camera guys, leave hate comments below, please.” He leans down to be to your level, staring longingly as you get ready. He imagines this is how it feels to watch art being made. You don’t notice his blatant staring, “Tell them how nice it is here.” He’s pulled out of his thoughts with your voice, “Yeah, it’s pretty sweet. Think we’ll bring our kids here cause kids like beaches. Right?” You both seem to forget the camera is even there as you turn to him, “We should take them to Legoland.” He lets out a disbelieving laugh, “Really? That’s the best you got?” You give him a side eye that makes him laugh harder, “Ok, get out, this is my video.” Hamzah only waves at the camera before giving you a gentle kiss on top of your head and leaving. It’s barely in frame, but it’s enough to show the burning warmth he holds for you.
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rose-pearls · 1 year ago
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The Perils of Love - Part 2
Did I already had an idea for the second part of The Perils of Love? Definitely and here it is! Thank you for all the comments and love I didn't think so many people would like it! I hope you like this chapter! Requests are also open!
Relations: Clarisse La Rue x reader (endgame), Luke Castellan x reader, platonic!Silena x reader, platonic!Percy Jackson x reader
Main taglist: @avada-kedavra-bitch-187, @nyx2021, @thestarspangledcaptain, @kmc1989 (open)
The Perils of Love Taglist: @chadmeeksmartinswifey, @liv444me, @justanotherkpopstanlol, @taygrls, @10ava01, @2hiigh2cry, @lucycarlisleswife, @thekittyxo-blog, @ahh-chickens, @exactlycoralfox, @quackitysdrugdealer, @lafemmii, @flower-lise, @jaegerlisa1, @valenftcrush, @bdscsjhb, @niktwazny303, @llovvessssssssssssss, @etheriaaly, @spidergyall, @acourtofdeppressionandanxiety
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It was quiet, far too quiet after having lived in the Hermes cabin for so long. A statue of Zeus was in the middle of the room, and you couldn’t help but think how vain you father must be to put a statue of himself in here. 
The afternoon had been chaotic, with Mister D and Chiron taking you away from the group to talk, Percy the only one allowed with you as you were now both children of the big three. After that they had sent you to your new cabin, you still had to retrieve your clothes and stuff from the Hermes cabin, but you just needed a moment. 
The quiet was suddenly broken by a loud whistle.
“Damn, Zeus really made an effort here,” you hear Clarisse say as she looks around, curious eyes looking around the room. She was right, it was much bigger than the other cabin’s you had seen with a living room when you entered and a second floor where multiple beds could be placed. It looked like a bank, mixed with lightening bolds and clouds drawn on the ceiling.
“He sure did, wonder why,” you can’t help but say, wondering for the hundredth time in the past hour why the God of Thunder had suddenly decided you were worth something.
There was a silence that accompanied your words before you felt the couch dip and the smell of woods filled your senses. 
“How are you doing?”, Clarisse looks unsure when you turn to her, but the only thing you can do is sigh in response.
“I don’t know, my father suddenly decides that I’m worth something and claims me in front of everyone. Now I am going to be living in this enormous cabin alone and everyone will probably avoid me because a child of the big three is like the most dangerous thing possible,” you take a deep breath after spilling everything that you had been thinking. Clarisse seems surprised at your outburst, and you feel your cheeks heat up in embarrassment. 
“Sorry, I guess it just needed to get out and you are the first person I talked to since then. Percy had to stay with Chiron,” Clarisse makes a noise of disagreement as you turn to look at your hands.
“I don’t mind, really. I mean your life did a complete turnaround in the last hour I think it’s normal for you to be having a hard time,” a smile appears on your lips without you even noticing, and as you look at her, she has a soft smile on her lips, one that you haven’t seen before. 
“I can’t tell you that it will all be alright but try to see the good side of it all, now you have a cabin for yourself without idiots running around all the time,” her words make you snort as you can’t help but agree, as much as you loved the comradery in the Hermes cabin it was always chaotic. 
“And if anyone has a problem with you, you tell me and I’ll make sure they don’t say anything anymore,” the sweet look she had just a second ago has morphed into determination and you can’t stop yourself from smiling.
“Don’t worry Clarisse I’ll be fine, but thank you,” you tell her, and she nods slowly, she looks unsure for a moment and the both of you look at each other before she finally speaks.
“I’m here for you, if you ever need something I will always be there,” she says it with such determination and emotions that you can only believe her, feeling lost at the feeling in your chest at her words.
“Thank you. I’m also always there for you if you need me,” you tell her with a soft smile and she seems surprised for a moment before nodding, you don’t know if you are tired or if there is really a blush on her cheeks. 
“I should go pick up my stuff at the Hermes cabin otherwise I will never get settled in before the bonfire tonight,” Clarisse has a bright smile at the words before getting up with you.
“So, I’ll be seeing you at the bonfire tonight?”, she seems confident as she speaks, but you can see some doubt lingering in her eyes.
“Of course, I’ll see you there!”, you tell her as she looks at you for a moment, seemingly trying to read your expression. Before you can ask her if everything is alright you feel a soft kiss on your cheek and Clarisse running off before you can say anything.
Your mouth is wide open, and your cheeks feel like they are burning as you touch the spot where she kissed you, the feeling of her lips still lingering there. 
--
“Coming to pick up your stuff?”, you hear as you are packing up one of your shirts in the bag, Luke is leaning against one of the double beds as you look behind you.
“I am, otherwise, I will have to come back every time for my stuff. Might not be se practical,” you tell him awkwardly, you didn’t know how to act around him anymore, not after the conversation you had overheard yesterday.
“I guess congratulations are in order,” he says after a few seconds of silence, and you turn around to look at him properly.
“Thank you, never thought this day would come but it has,” the both of you look at each other for a moment before Luke sighs.
“You know that you are always welcome here, right? Don’t ever hesitate to come by, I know the younger kids will miss you,” he says, and you can’t help but smile at his words, you would also miss them and their youthful innocence. 
“I’ll miss you too,” the words make you turn to look back at him from the bunks you were looking at and you can see him now being closer to you then before.
“Really?”, you can’t help but ask, feeling unsure after what he had said to Chris but as you look into the familiar brown eyes you can’t seem to find any trace of lying.
“Of course, you were here for three years I don’t know how it will be now that you aren’t here anymore,” you want to tell him that it will probably better for him without you clinging to him as Chris has said it, but you can’t find the strength to say it.
Luke gets closer to you and suddenly you find yourself having to look slightly upwards to look him in the eyes.
“Don’t be a stranger,” he whispers, and you shake your head slowly, trying to find an answer while getting lost in his eyes.
“I won’t,” you tell him, sure of yourself and Luke seems relieved at your words before he gets even closer to you.
And for a moment the two of you look at each other, wondering what was about to happen and if you should really cross that line until the door of the cabin slams open making the both of you jump away in surprise. Silena is at the entrance of the door, looking at the both of you with angry eyes and you suddenly wonder what you had done to have the Aphrodite girl mad at you.
“I’m here to help you get your stuff to your cabin,” she says, and you would’ve found the gesture sweet if she hadn’t still been glaring at the two of you.
“Thank you, I just finished packing everything,” you say after awkwardly clearing your throat.
“I guess I’ll see you around Luke,” the boy nods in agreement, looking a bit scared to answer as the Aphrodite girl is still glaring at him.
The walk to your cabin is silent, Silena not speaking a word to you, and you know better than to try and say something when she has ignored your previous attempts at a conversation.
“You need to make a choice,” she suddenly says as you drop your bags near your bed, making you look at her with wide eyes.
“What do you mean?”, you feel confused at her statement, but she just lets out a loud sigh, looking annoyed.
“Between Luke and Clarisse, you can’t play with their emotions forever,” the words are like a slap in the face as you look at the girl with wide eyes.
“Wait-what?! I am not doing anything like that!”, you can’t help but say, your voice getting louder as you feel insulted by what she insinuated, as if you had been playing on purpose with their emotions.
“I don’t even know why you would even say that when there is nothing happening between me and Luke or me and Clarisse,” you say before she can even open her mouth and she scoffs loudly.
“You know for a daughter of Zeus you really are clueless,” she says, and you feel even more frustrated.
“What in the gods name do you mean?”, you can feel the anger coming up, as you try to remember what could possibly have led to this conversation.
“It is not my place to tell you, but you really should open up your eyes before you hurt all three of you,” she says with a cold look and you feel once again lost, you thought that the two of you had gotten closer last night but now looking at her you couldn’t remember the sweet girl from that night.
“Acting like a victim or like you don’t know what I’m talking about won’t get you anywhere,” the words feel like a slap in the face, and you try to keep yourself calm but the sound of thunder makes the two of you look up. The ceiling that had previously been a soft gray was now getting darker with thunder rumbling. 
“Get out,” you tell her before turning around, not wanting to see the girl any longer after what she had just told you. 
And for a moment you thought that she had left before her voice broke your thoughts once again, only this time softer.
“I’m sorry, for what I said it wasn’t fair,” the words are spoken softly, carefully like she wants to make sure you don’t get angry.
“It’s okay, guess you needed to say what you really thought, good to know what people think of me,” you can’t help but mutter as you put the last of your stuff away, not hearing the sigh Silena lets out.
“I didn’t think that, not really, I guess that I am protective of Clarisse and sometimes I attack people who hurt her like some kind of-”, she seems to try and find the correct word, so you turn around with raised eyebrows.
“A chihuahua?”, she snorts at the words before nodding slowly, letting you think of her previous words.
“Why do you think I hurt Clarisse? I saw her just two hours ago and everything was fine,” you tell her, and she sighs quietly before sitting down on your bed with a grimace.
“She’s going to kill me,” she whispers under her breath while you can’t help but look at her feeling confused.
“Clarisse likes you; she has for the past two years and probably before that,” the words are like a bullet, hitting you right through your chest. You don’t know what to say as you open and close your mouth multiple times. Silena has an understanding smile on her lips as she pats the spot next to her on the bed, making you sink into it while your thoughts are running wild.
“I didn’t- I really didn’t know,” you tell her, and she nods quietly, like she already knew what you were going to say.
“I know, you don’t seem to realize that people are interested in you,” she says it like a fact, and you can’t help but nod in agreement.
“I don’t know what to do,” you say after a moment, your voice barely above a whisper but Silena seems to have heard you as she sighs.
“I think that you need to wrap your head around all of this and that you need to think about who you really have feelings for. But if you don’t go for Clarisse, please be kind to her, she looks tough, but she has a soft spot,” the words are carefully said but you can’t help but feel offended as she seems to think you would hurt the Ares girl.
“Of course, I would never hurt her,” you say quickly and Silena smiles knowingly, as if she knows something that you don’t know yet.
“Good, I’ll let you think in peace,” she says before getting up and squeezing your shoulder in reassurance.
The silence of the cabin is once again taking over the place but this time you welcome it as your head is filled with questions. Silena seemed to think that both Luke and Clarise were interested in you and that you had to make a choice. Your groan loudly as you put your head into a cushion, wondering how you were going to make a decision.
You had always liked Luke, or at least had a crush on him but as you think back of the last few days the only thing you can think about is Clarisse. The way she had quickly taken you under her wing, kissed you on the cheek and came to see you to make sure you were alright. 
Your thoughts are quickly broken by a loud bang of the door, making you jump in surprise.
“Sorry for the door but I am officially moving in!”, you hear Percy yell and as you look over the silver balcony you come face to face with a smiling Percy, a pillow under his arm and a bag with his stuff in his hand.
“You do know that we have pillows here?”, you say teasingly, unable not to smile as the boy shrugs his shoulders and starts climbing up the stairs. The sight of him makes you calm down as you finally feel at ease for a moment.
“I hope it isn’t an issue that I’m here, it just gets lonely there,” he says, looking a bit awkward for a moment but you just take his bag out of his hand to bring it to the bed on the other side of the room.
“Of course not! I’m glad that you are here, it was getting a bit to calm in here,” you say after a moment and Percy seems relieved at your words.
“So, what’s the gossip?”, Percy asks after laying down like a starfish on the bed making you snort.
“What do you want to know?”, the boy looks unsure for a moment before a mischievous grin appears.
“Everything, but perhaps what is happening between you and Clarisse at the moment,” you glare at the boy, who tries to look innocent, but you can see the mischief in his eyes.
“Fine, I need your opinion on this. But first we are making hot chocolate and face masks,” Percy seems unsure at the second option, but you give him a pointed look before picking up the stuff you would need.
And that is how you find yourself half an hour later in the living room with hot chocolate and the both of you with a face mask telling him everything that had happened.
--
The bonfire was already in full swing as you arrived with Percy, the both of you had quickly gotten ready when you had realized how late it was.
“Now go get her!”, Percy says with a big smile as you look scared for a moment, and you turn around to give him a soft smile.
“Thank you for the advice,” you say but the boy simply shrugs his shoulders, a smile on his lips.
“Always here if you need me, that is what family is for after all,” he says, like it’s the simplest thing in the world and you can’t help but feel a bit emotional at the words.
“I’ll see you later in our cabin?”, Percy quickly nods with a large grin before giving you a thumbs up and moving towards Annabeth and Grover who were waiting for him.
You turn to look back at the rest of the bonfire, but you can’t seem to find the Ares girl, the only girl you find at that moment is Silena, who looks pained. You feel confused as to why before you turn to look closer and see Clarisse and a girl talking, or rather flirting with each other. It feels like someone has thrown a bucket of water over you as you look at the two of them, they looked perfect for each other, and you couldn’t shake the feeling of jealousy as you saw Clarisse touching the other girls leg.
“Please talk to her,” Silena says, and you turn around to suddenly find her next to you. You try to say something, but you aren’t able to as you look at both girls.
“What’s the point? She seems happy, I don’t want to disturb her,” you can’t help but say, feeling defeated.
“Look she is just acting like an idiot to get your attention, she was mad when she saw Luke and you nearly kissing so she is probably trying to see if you will react to her flirting with someone else,” Silena seems to be trying to explain everything as quickly as possible, as if she is scared that you would run out of time or that you would just leave.
“Fine, I’ll talk to her, after all it seems to be my fault she is talking to that girl. But if she tells me to leave, I am leaving,” you say, and Silena quickly nods in agreement. You take a moment to collect all the possible courage you will need before walking towards the two girls.
“Clarisse, hi, could I talk to you?”, you could’ve just started a conversation and then ask the question, but you just needed to talk to her.
“Why?”, the Ares girl suddenly asks, and you feel lost, she doesn’t seem that happy to see you and you try not to feel hurt as she looks at you like you were just some dirt on the side of the road.
“Because I need to talk to you about something, private,” you say as you quickly look at the other girl before turning back towards Clarisse.
“Why don’t you go talk with Castellan, I’m sure he’ll be interested,” she says with a mean smile, and you feel like the air has left your lungs as she turns back to the girl she was talking to.
“Clarisse, please,” you say softly and for a moment you wonder if she has heard you before you see her look up and look at something behind you. You get ready to look at what she could possibly be looking at, but she gets up before you can.
“Fine, you have five minutes,” she says, and you let out a sigh of relief as you follow her away from the bonfire and into the woods.
Your relief is quickly forgotten as you start to wonder how you are going to tell her everything. She seems impatient as she has her arms crossed in front of her and her eyebrows raised at you, making you laugh nervously.
“You know in some cultures, crossing your arms means that you are closing yourself of or protecting yourself,” you can’t help but say, and you want to slap yourself as you realize what you just said.
“So, you took me away to tell me some fun facts? Because then I am leaving,” she says and you see that she is ready to go but you take her arm and she stops immediately, looking at your hand on her arm.
“Sorry, I’m just nervous, let me start again?”, she seems unsure but nods slowly and you clear your throat.
“Right, I don’t really know how to say it, but I guess I’ll start by this. I like you Clarisse,” the words feel like a relief but is short lived as Clarisse scoffs and takes her arm out of your grip.
“Is this a joke? First Castellan now me. Did he reject you and you decided to come to the second-best option?”, the words are like a punch in the guts, and you take a few seconds to react but as you watch her leave, this time towards the lake you can’t help but react.
“Wait! Clarisse! This is not a joke!”, you yell as you follow her and you finally manage to find her as she arrives at the lake, the both of you out of breath.
“Really? How come you were so close to him this afternoon? How come after three years of pining over him you suddenly seem interested in me?”, she yells, and you can see the hurt in her eyes, the pain in them.
“Because I never knew you were an option for me. I never knew you even knew my name Clarisse, so I didn’t think that something could happen between us,” you yell back, feeling desperate for her to listen to you.
“I’m sorry that it took me so long to realize that you were there, that you always were but I am here now, and I am ready to go on my knees to beg you for just a chance,” you tell her, breathless, as you approach her. 
“I have loved you for three years,” she whispers, like a wounded animal, as if she is scared that you would hurt her but instead you take her hand in yours, unsure if she will reject you or not but she just grips it tightly.
“I know, Silena told me,” you tell her softly and her eyes widen at the words, anger coming up but you take her chin between your fingers, making her look at you.
“I am going to kill her,” she whispers, and you smile at the words.
“Please don’t, she’s the one that made me realize just how much I liked you,” you whisper, and she looks surprised for a moment before realizing just how close you were.
“She also helped me go talk to you when I was feeling jealous at the sight of you and that girl,” it’s hard to admit but as you see her eyes sparkling at the confession, you know that you did the right thing.
“Now you know how I felt,” she says, and you can’t help but feel bad.
“I know, I’m sorry for that,” you tell her, but she simply shrugs her shoulders before coming even closer to you.
“Tell me what you wanted to tell me,” she whispers and you shudder at the closeness of her lips against yours but you nod slowly, enjoying her smirk at your reaction.
“I love you Clarisse La Rue and I wanted to ask you if you would like to go on a date with me?”, you make sure that the words are said clearly, that there couldn’t be a misunderstanding.
Clarisse’s lips melting against yours is the only answer you need, as she kisses you like you are the air she needs to breath. You quickly kiss her back, one hand cupping her cheek while the other grabs onto her curls making her moan softly.
“You are going to be the death of me princess,” she whispers, breathless before bringing you into an even deeper kiss, her hands gripping your waist tightly. 
“So, I guess this is a, yes?”, you ask feeling like you are on cloud nine and as you feel her smile against your skin you know you don’t even need her to answer.
“A million times yes,” she whispers against your skin, making you shiver, before continuing to drop soft kisses against your skin.
--
Life had been better ever since that night, Clarisse often joining you into your cabin and learning to live with Percy as the two of them slowly started liking each other more. There were still quests and monsters waiting for you but as you felt her strong arms holding you closer to her, you knew everything would be alright.
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