#this was the first scene i wrote for this fic actually. literally the entire reason it exists is bc of this

[kinardsevan]

i wrote a whole ass psychology breakdown (for the first time in FOREVER) about the break-up. enjoy (if you so choose):

so I've been reading a lot in relation to Tommy's speech during the break-up (and have actually gotten through the scene several times now, mostly as a creative reference for these fix-it fics. I think one of the first things that I've seen completely tossed aside (that bothers the shit out of me as someone with over a decade of therapy treatment and a psychology degree) is whatever trauma Tommy carries.

We know that there are issues with his dad. We know Lou's lore behind him is that he spent a lot of his childhood alone. We don't know anything in relation to his mom, but she may or may not be the cause of more trauma. We know that his way of dealing with abuse of authority is to shut down and follow the leader, which is likely a mix of his military time and growing up in his father's household (and when I say this, I mean from what we saw of him under Gerrard's command). This is a person who has put years into getting himself into some version of okay after all that he's endured, and we know he still generally does it on his own.

To that end, here, have my breakdown of the break up (roughly right about the time Buck says "I want you to move in with me"). (with pictures!)

Prior to the offer, we watch Tommy process through Evan's explanation about his relationship with Abby, things being transformative for him, etc. We have to bare in mind that this is where we also start to get what I've dubbed "starry-eyed Buck". He's so in the throes of what he's saying that I don't think he's really considering the connotation of his words. At the same time, Tommy doesn't know what lore Evan is about to drop him about this prior relationship. Remember that he now has to contend with the fact that they both have strong opinions on their relations toward Abby, and Tommy can't know if their feelings toward her as a person will be the same. I think Lou played this beautifully, appearing anxious and apprehensive as Tommy listened to Evan explain that Abby was transformative for him. Then he shifts into how Tommy has been transformative for him (which, he has, and we as the audience know this, but we understand it from a bigger POV than what Evan is saying with his words.)

There have been posts about Evan putting Tommy up on a pedestal throughout this speech (and really, possibly even sooner, but this is where we really get it expressed). Tommy tries to rectify this to a degree by countering "I wasn't always that way".

To that end, we then get Evan telling him "I know, and it just makes me admire you more." Tommy gives a bashful smile, clearly heartened by the statement, and even opening his mouth as though he's going to respond to it in some form. It would be interesting to know what was on Lou's mind of what (if anything) he thought would've been said there. Are there lines that were removed in this scene? Was 'I love you' actually going to come up? We can't really know. However, there's this part of me that thinks that Tommy thought that they were having a discussion on the depth of their relationship which would've possibly brought those 7 letters to the equation. Either way, this entire bit of facial acting is SO important, because it speaks volumes about how Tommy feels about how Evan feels about him.

From there we get the "I want you to move in with me, and this, THIS, THIS is such an important point for this ENTIRE scene. It's two seconds, but it holds SO much for the narrative. This man, who seems to be on the verge of ...something, clearly (who knows if I Love You was on his mind, or if it was just the fact that Evan was expressing how much he cares about him.) The reason this is all so important is THIS REACTION:

Now again, we don't know Tommy's trauma, but the joy literally drops out of his expression and shifts to panic. Now, speaking solely from the standpoint that these two haven't even said "I love you" yet, his boyfriend steamrolled over him from a possible declaration of love straight to moving in together without discussing semantics. Further, it's not even "I want to live together", it's "move in with me". We don't know much about Tommy's house (because these shitheads haven't built him a set yet), but we know that he has a HOUSE. With a GARAGE. Buck lives in a LOFT. Regardless of how much of an asshole this makes me sound like, it's crawling with red flags. It comes across as "fit more into my life" instead of "lets do this thing together". Further, if that's not bad enough, mention of getting engaged and married is thrown at Tommy as well, which holds two major bits of information: One, these are on Evan's mind. We've NEVER heard him talk about getting engaged or married to anyone. This speaks to the importance of their relationship to him, but the lack of I Love You also speaks on his own trauma. If we truly are getting the rom-com trope, at some point there's likely to be a conversation about why he lept over it (*cough* Taylor, his parents *cough cough*). Meanwhile, as he's continued in his starry-eyed speech, this is what Tommy is giving:

Now for those who don't know how to spot it, this my friends is a PANIC RESPONSE. The shift forward, the move to get up, the literal deep breath. He's having a panic attack. Now, obviously we don't know what brought this on, but god-willing, we WILL get the answers.

Now, to his own point, Tommy doesn't just straight up pop Evan's pink bubble. He does express that it's a sweet sentiment, but that it's a bad idea. To which point we get:

"Evan, that is so sweet. But I can't move in with you." "And why not?" Because. I know how this ends." "Uh, what-what's that supposed to mean?"

At which point, we clearly get the qualities about Evan that Tommy likes. "Incredible guy. Big-hearted. Hot as hell. Impulsive." I don't feel that the expression here matters as much as his tone of voice, because we can see on his face that he's expressing these qualities from a good place. The next point of reference isn't until Tommy's next line, when he says that Evan's reaction is out of things being "new and exciting".

To that end, the way Evan is talking to him makes this statement valid. He's not talking to Tommy like they've been together for six months and have built a relationship that should be moving in this direction. (For the tenth time I will repeat, he couldn't even dignify whether he was in love with Tommy when Josh asked).

Furthermore, I think when you consider this part of the scene, you also have to consider the strain in Tommy's voice. Something about those concepts (living together, getting engaged, married) is terrifying. It definitely gives the impression that Tommy has been faced with some version of this before and he got burned. Why is this important? Because of this:

"I'm saying no matter how bad I want it to be, I'm not your last." Those 9 words are important on their own, but when you couple them with the expression on Tommy's face and what we've just seen him go through, there's a clear point to the fact that he's been through this before. I also think that there can't be enough importance placed on the way he intonates "how bad". This is not a man saying no because he doesn't want to. He's backpedaling because he's sure that he's going to get burned. We get this point further driven home with this exchange:

"I'm your first." "But hey, they can be the same thing." "But, they usually aren't."

See this doesn't read to me as someone who's scared because he knows Evan has never been with another man. They're both fully grown adults who have had multiple relationships. What this speaks to me (now) as, is someone who has let someone convince him before that he would be their forever, that they were all in, and then broke him. When you include his childhood trauma and whatever abandonment issues it's left him with in correlation with all of this, yes, it's still an extremely biphobic set of lines. But in the context of what he's expressing and why, it's not about telling Evan he needs more experience, it's about telling him that he doesn't believe that he'll want to stay settled down with him six months, a year, etc., down the road. And THAT my friends, is abandonment issues 101. "Everyone else has left, so it doesn't matter that I'm in love with you, because you will leave too, and I need to protect myself from that."

Following that, we get this: "if I were to move in with you, you wouldn't mean to, you wouldn't plan for it, but you'd end up breaking my heart."

This line is SO important, right next to Evan's exchange with Josh about his relationship with Tommy. Why? Because even though neither of them have said it, it spells out that these two are in fact in love with each other, even if they haven't said it.

"I don't think I could deal with that." Tommy is fucking GONE on him. He's expressing that if he gave himself fully over to what Evan's referring to, losing him would break him. Again, we don't have the full picture on his trauma, but we know there's a mountain there. It's also worth noting again, that the intonation he uses in these statements clearly come across as someone trying to reign in their emotions and keep it together. That says to me that we're dangeously close to touching his trauma.

I don't feel like I have to include the final few bits of the scene in gifs because they're all over the site now, but the next line gives over the fact that he hasn't really been open about his trauma to Evan, given that his immediate response to expressing all of this is "I should go". This kind of reaction is generally brought on as not being accepted for having certain feelings. Now, obviously Evan is caught off guard by the entire interaction, the same way Tommy was (but for different reasons), so we have to take all of that into account when we think about the fact that instead of countering Tommy's logic, he asks instead if Tommy is breaking up with him.

Body language is also so important here for Tommy. His shoulders are hunched in, we see him wipe his face (meaning there are likely tears), and when he turns around, he's so caught up in whatever wave has taken him over that it takes Evan asking him for Tommy to state "yeah, I guess I did" about breaking up. Further, there's the fact that he states that he didn't see the break-up coming, which goes back to my point at the top of this post, that he clearly thought the conversation was going one direction, and instead it goes the other. From this point, we have Evan reeling, because he wants to create more of a life with Tommy, while Tommy is shutting down because of whatever is holding him back.

Finally, as I've referenced before, we get this line:

"Should've known that parking spot was too good to be true."

That line makes zero sense out of context, but in consideration of someone trying to lighten the weight they're carrying (which you can literally see by the way he has his hand on his neck, which you generally only see people do as a stress response). You can also double entendre this statement that getting to be with Evan was too good to be true. We get that little inhale with the smile, and I swear to God the only time I've seen that kind of reaction is right before someone cracks.

And then in closing, we get the "I'll see you 'round, Buck," our closing gut punch. Evan is still reeling, clearly. His face is very "what the hell just happened". Tommy is clearly not okay. This entire scene has opened an entire can of worms on them without a whole lot of answers.

Now, I've owned the fact that basically from the end of 806, I felt like this had to be a swerve, and that there has to be more to the story. I've also pretty much owned the fact that if the writers did actually just do this for kicks and don't have a resolution for it, I may not keep watching. However, in the context of the fact that, for the moment, I'm choosing to put hope in some kind of resolution, these lines make so much more sense. It is worth noting though, most people in the fandom, let alone the general audience, aren't going to psychologically break this shit down line-by-line. They're not going to lean into whatever trauma Tommy has that we don't know about yet. Its why the internet has been a mess since Thursday night. But it's also why I talk about how, when this situation gets resolved (because right now I refuse to say if), Buck has to give up the loft and give more of himself. Tommy, by the nature of the show, has fully immersed himself in Evan's life, but we haven't seen or heard mention of Evan doing so at all in Tommy's life. That doesn't mean he hasn't, but we haven't gotten any version of that. So when I say Evan needs to give things up... it's about matching what he's asking Tommy to give up. Because at the end of the day, when this circles back around, he's effectively going to be asking Tommy to trust that he won't break his heart like others have, and when you have a lifetime of abandonment issues and have learned to cope by being hyper-independent and alone, moving in the opposite direction is more terrifying than anything else. ESPECIALLY when you love that person, which we saw Tommy spell out. Evan has the ability to break him (and probably already is via this cut-off-at-the-quick break up.)

So, I'm really gonna need these shit heads to figure out that they'll be more miserable apart than they'd ever be together.

That's all. Thanks for coming to my TED talk.

[starcurtain]

Your post about Alhaitham, Aranara lore, and the issue of fandoms confusing canon with social media promotion was so good!

I have some questions. I only entered the fandom a year ago, and I still haven't caught up on all the events I missed (though I am caught up on archon quests and most character quests). If you have time, could you please share any other examples you have of people popularizing a headcanon and pretending like it's canon?

I have a theory of one. I've noticed a lot of fics portraying Kaeya, Rosaria, and Venti are all drinking buddies at Angel's Share. And as much as I love the idea, I'm not sure I can find a canon source for this. I made a post asking about this once, and the only thing anyone gave me was that cutscene towards the end of the first Windblume. But that only shows Kaeya and Rosaria drinking together; Venti isn't there. Am I right that the three of them being drinking buddies is just fanon?

Thank you!!

I admittedly started playing Genshin a little later than some, so I missed out on many of the original Mondstadt events. Although I've tried to catch up on them via cutscenes and summaries, there are some nuances I'm surely missing, so it's a bit harder for me to judge based on earlier stuff. However, it seems fairly unlikely that Venti and Kaeya are actually good drinking buddies, for a couple reasons:

Even when they are in the same bar, they don't even speak directly to each other, let alone drink together. During Jean's birthday event, both Venti and Kaeya come to Jean's party at the Angel's Share, but once the alcohol starts flowing, Venti sits at the bar with Diluc, while Kaeya goes off to drink in the corner by himself.

Presumably, if they were actual drinking buddies, they would have sat together.

There's also the fact that Kaeya and Venti's relationship seems to be somewhat catty, especially earlier in Genshin's story.

In the 1.4 Windblume event, Paimon literally says that Venti and Kaeya's conversation has devolved into a "coercion contest" where they're both trying to get the better of each other. It's not aggressive and it's largely played for jokes, but it's also not Genshin's typical "I'll do anything for you because you're my friend" level of niceness.

Even way back in the 1.4 Windblume, there are some lines, especially from Kaeya, that are very loaded (and Venti gets his own digs in too lol):

I, for one, think it's pretty much impossible that Kaeya hasn't known Venti's identity all along; Kaeya's entire early character hinges around just knowing way the hell more than anyone else in Mondstadt (with little explanation for how, in some cases). With that in mind, Kaeya--a Khaenri'ahn--asking Venti--an archon--if he's willing to take Kaeya on as a student is a pretty heavy statement.

This scene leads into the one where Kaeya (supposedly) writes a poem in hilichurlian that could be read as a threat toward Venti. There's some debate whether that is actually true and whether Kaeya intended it that way, but the ambiguity still suggests Kaeya knows Venti's true identity and is, at the very least, testing the waters and pushing the envelop to see how far Barbatos will tolerate an "enemy" in his territory.

Even all the way to Kaeya's hangout, Venti and Kaeya's interactions are definitely sarcastic and a bit (humorously) snide, with Kaeya unsubtly using the fact that he knows Venti's secret identity to manipulate Venti into helping with the choir project. (Venti gets his digs here too though, reminding Kaeya about the hate poem he so "kindly" wrote back in 1.4 lol!)

Kaeya even goes out of his way to bring Diona to the song-writing efforts, specifically to trigger Venti's cat allergy and force Venti into having to deal with song lyrics about hating alcohol. 😂

So, up until at least this hangout, I'd say that Kaeya really didn't have too great of a relationship with Venti. He wasn't directly antagonistic to him or anything, but they definitely didn't come across as close friends, and there were enough blatant hints to suggest that Kaeya doesn't view himself as a follower of Mondstadt's archon.

It seems likely (to me at least) that Kaeya would have inherited a natural standoffishness toward archons in general alongside his father's huge expectations that Kaeya serve as Khaenri'ah's hope, a blend of "I'm supposed to hate you because I know what you did to my country" and "I'm uncomfortable that you know my true identity; you might take action against me like the archons took action against Khaenri'ahns in the past." I don't think Kaeya ever actually personally hated Venti, but there is a tension between himself and Venti that isn't necessarily present in Kaeya's other connections (Albedo, Klee, Jean, Lisa, etc.) throughout Mondstadt.

On Venti's side, I think that people forget that Venti is incredibly sensitive to the feelings of the people of Mondstadt and does literally everything in his power to ensure that his people live joyous, free, and happy lives. He clearly knows of Kaeya's background--and probably even his situation with still lingering connections to Khaenri'ah and the Abyss--so I find it extremely unlikely that Venti would have asserted himself in Kaeya's space and tried to force a friendship with someone who would have good reason to distrust archons. I think he would have respected Kaeya's need for distance and avoided trying to get too close.

However, being the incredible sweetheart that he is (the best archon of them all, FIGHT ME), Venti ends this branch of Kaeya's hangout with a truly heartwarming message:

This is Venti literally telling Kaeya "I know you're not a believer, and I know you're struggling with your loyalties between Khaenri'ah and Mondstadt. I know you're still not really sure what your destiny is and into what darkness it might lead you--but at the end of your journey, I will be here to welcome you home."

Venti tells Kaeya that Kaeya is a son of Mondstadt and that the Anemo Archon loves and will protect him just as he loves and protects every one of his true people.

So no, I don't think we have any reliable evidence in game that Kaeya and Venti are actually drinking buddies up to this point in the story--however, I think it's possible we could see this change in the future! Kaeya just needs to know (and accept!) that he is loved!

...As for other instances of fanon replacing canon, this post is already long enough, so I'll save them for another day. Someone ask me about what I think of the fanon surrounding Kaeya and Diluc's situation or something, I guess! 😆

[gd-dollopole]

Hello, and welcome to my blog (the Lazy Daisy)!

You can call me GD, or 'that guy who will literally talk your ear off about BBC Merlin'.

My pronouns are he/him, they/them, and if you don't support queer spaces, or if you're transphobic, homophobic, anti-semitic, a zionist, racist or sexist, you can not so kindly fuck off, scroll away.

I make crack posts, analysis, theories, GIFs and prompts. I'm a fanfic writer, who works on BBC Merlin (Merthur centred) and you can find me on Ao3, GDN7!

My top work is done and revised and you could take a look at it by clicking here:

"The Once and Future King has made his return (and it was about time)".

Summary:

When unexpectedly, Camelot returned to the present world, Merlin is left with the responsibilities of the Old Kingdom all over again, without any clue on how to begin the search to untangle the entire mess that has been happening. "Arthur Pendragon was beautiful. It was a fact, rather than an opinion. Many people in his life had shown him, told him, that he was superbly elegant, a prince. A regent, a king. He had the respect, the intelligence to rule a kingdom, the patience to listen to his counsellors, the trust of his people. Camelot would have been nothing without him and the moment she had lost her king, she fell at her feet, as everyone else who had ever served her, served him, worked and fought for him. He had the quality of a true and just man, and for that, his beauty was to be excepted. Yet, Merlin saw more than that, while he watched his king sleep."

If you'd like to give a feedback, either here on Ao3, or to ask me questions of any kind, you'd make my day.

I'm currently working on my other WIP, and you can find it here:

"What he never had, he finally found."

Summary:

When two idiots, who work in the same unfortunate university, happen to be in the same place, at the same time, but for different reasons, both their lives change for the worse (or the better).

Give it some love :D!

But if you'd like something lighter, I also wrote a one-shot fic related to my post here!

"Arthur's rules on hairstyle (and how Merlin couldn't care less about them)"

Summary:

One of Merlin’s main duties is to brush Arthur’s hair in the morning. They both pretend it’s not something they enjoy.

And another one related to the scene in season five, episode one, where Arthur and Merlin get caught in the trap:

"I'm so glad we got stuck"

Summary:

When Arthur and Merlin get caught in the trap in the first episode of season five, how do they spend the cold night, knowing that Arthur had actually seen Merlin doing magic to defeat the Saxons, who had followed them during Morgana’s attack?

Enjoy, and have a great day!

[lily-alphonse]

for ur rare pair challenge, have you done Shane x Haley yet? I’d LOVE to see it

HEHEHEHEHEHE oh theyre both so rude its fun

Theyre actually SO primed for a bunch of romcom tropes I love such as

Fake dating

Dating on a dare/ losing a bet

Trapped and forced to work together to escape

Frump to fab makeover

OR MAYBE EVEN A COMBINATION PERHAPS

We have a makeover AND fake dating because Haley needs Shane for something and literally no one else is able. I would say willing and able, but Shane isn't willing either. She has to bribe the hell out of him and convince him that he will be able to get whatever girl he wants after this or something.

OH GOD THIS GOT SO LONG LMAO I got writer zoomies about it so I'm going to summarize and save what I wrote to hopefully write someday (pls pls pls)

Major influencer event soon in Zuzu, Haley's big break as an influencer, needs a plus one for driving and so she doesn't look like a friendless loser (which she actually kind of is, cuz she's too catty to hold down more than Alex and her sister, and Alex is away)

Begs everyone in town before getting to Shane, who only relents cuz money, he recently lost his job at Joja

Makeover part 1 she waxes his eyebrows and its insane and funny cuz he starts bleeding. Shes screaming WHY ARE YOU BLEEDING and hes like IDK WHY DID YOU MAKE ME BLEED and its a fucking mess and we just cut to Emily in the kitchen or something just regretting her entire life and getting up to help

Shopping montage my beloved AND we get a scene where fans recognize her at the mall and Shane begins to see what this is all about and we learn about her online persona and everything

He strongarms her into doing something for him that's just an excuse to make her suffer (like a day of farming) and she DOES she's miserable and covered in mud and breaks a nail, which at first Shane makes fun of her for, but when she starts crying and shows him she's bleeding he flips on a dime to serious and taking care of her

He tells her about a time Jas was hurt because of his negligence and he was beside himself. Discuss alcoholism?

She stays for dinner and the whole family have a little campfire and marshmallows and Jas falls asleep cuddling Haley (she fucking loves Haley cuz she looks like Barbie lol)

Makeover part 2 cuz Shane has been growing out his beard per Haley's requirements and she takes him to an expensive barber to get his hair and beard done, and at last his transformation is complete

D-Day arrives. Haley is super anxious and Shane is kind enough to give her a pep talk about it as they drive to the event.

At the event, the plan was always to ditch Shane if she found someone better. That was part of the reason to bring someone she didn't care about. All she needed him for was a ride and a photo-op before entering.

SHIT GOES DOWN AT THE EVENT (I'm not gonna spoil this one I really want to write it)

My logic behind how their characters fit together: He teaches her about not caring what people think. She teaches him that life doesn't just happen to you, you have to build it for yourself. They both struggle with self-worth in their own ways. Haley bases her self-worth on metrics she believes are objective; like beauty and number of followers. Shane on the other hand is great at not caring what people think, but that's mainly because he's already decided he's worthless.

This is one of my FAVES so far I really hope it makes it to the poll, but that is all up to you guys!

This ask is a part of the (now closed) SDV Rarepair Challenge! Check out the other answers here, and make sure to boost your favorite so it can appear in the final fic poll! More info on that here.

[plusultraetc]

for the dvd commentary meme: show me where to find the silver lining, from:

“It could be broken,” Aizawa says.

to:

“Recovery Girl,” he says. “Now.”

Tysm for sending an ask!! You are so good at picking out like. the FIRST scene I wrote in a fic omg (I went back to at least Draft 2 and this scene remained almost entirely unchanged for the 14-ish months I was making tiny, picky edits to this fic!)

also I am stealing your & @blinkeasy's format for these, whoops <3

“It could be broken,” Aizawa says. Because you landed on it like an idiot, he doesn’t need to point out. “You’re not doing yourself any favors waiting for it to start swelling.” He tilts his head a little more and Hitoshi fights the juvenile urge to hold the injury away from him. “Scratch that. It is swelling. We’re going to see Recovery Girl.” “What?” Hitoshi gapes as Aizawa stands. “I don’t need to see Recovery Girl.” When his mentor only looks at him, one eyebrow raised, he says, “I don’t. I just leaned on it too hard, but it doesn’t even hurt now.”

First thing that comes to mind here is that I worried a lot about Shinsou's characterization in this fic being inconsistent with the rest of the expansion pack--too outwardly expressive, and somewhat childish. We've seen Shinsou in pain & beating himself up before, and most of the time he gets quiet, which is... kind of the opposite of what he does in this section, and more in line with his behavior later in the fic. But in the end, I let him have a moment because 1) he did just literally break his wrist, and the surprise is both somewhat masking the pain and making him act out a little; and 2) he is sixteen lol. He's also a lot harsher on himself in this one than he is in almost* any other fic I've written from his POV, for reasons I will inevitably yap about in a moment.

*I say almost because I have another all-but-finished Shinsou fic hanging out in my docs in which he confronts the relationship between his quirk and other people more directly and 😬

This lie very clearly doesn’t go over as smoothly. “It’s swelling,” Aizawa repeats flatly. “Sprains swell.” “It’s red.” Hitoshi looks back at his wrist, which is actually inflating kind of fast and is most definitely a specific shade of early-bruising red. There is a chance, however slim, that Recovery Girl should look at it. But—

Skip this little paragraph to avoid a kind of gross fact!! I chose the word "inflating" here based very much on a real injury I witnessed (everyone was ultimately okay, obv, it was just kind of freaky to see in real time)

"There is a chance, however slim, that Recovery Girl should look at it" makes me laugh every time I read it. I love referencing memes in Shinsou's internal monologue specifically, although I do sometimes fear the ones I choose are too dated for someone his age. Then again, MHA is set in sci-fi superhero future Japan, so I try not to worry too much about whether or not my memes are accurate lol

“I can go after training.” Aizawa’s expression flattens with one of those hard-to-read emotions, but in this case it might be a close neighbor of exasperation. “I’m letting you go early today,” he says, and Hitoshi’s heart sinks. “Therefore it is now after training. Get up.” “I can keep working,” he insists. He casts around for an argument that isn’t I bet you don’t send people like Midoriya to Recovery Girl in the middle of class because they fell down, even though what he wants to say is I bet you don’t send people like Midoriya to Recovery Girl in the middle of class because they fell down, or maybe I’m not made of glass just because I’m not in the Hero Course yet and I thought that’s why you agreed to train me, so what gives? “I can still move my fingers. It’s not broken.”  

Okay I actually love the Midoriya comparison in this paragraph so much. I've talked about this before, but I really enjoy his & Shinsou's dynamic--as mirror characters, as occasional rivals, and eventually, as friends. At this point, Midoriya is very much the bar Shinsou measures his Hero Course aspirations against after Midoriya knocked him out of the Sports Festival tournament, which is ironic, because they have more in common than Shinsou could possibly know. (This is another reason that I find it incredibly funny when they see each other again at the joint training exercise and are both immediately like REMATCH REMATCH REMATCH.)

I also love the Midoriya mention bc like. Early on in the series, Aizawa spent a lot of time telling Midoriya to stop breaking his own bones and trying to discourage him from relying on that 'strategy.' Shinsou says 'why can Midoriya break his arm and keep training >:(' and Aizawa replies 'my quirk was literally introduced in a scene in which I stopped him from doing that, try again'

(I feel like Aizawa has strong but complicated opinions about training with, or to the point of, physical injury. For no reason. Something something experience, something something necessity.)

Aizawa eyes Hitoshi’s wrist skeptically. “If it’s hurting you, it doesn’t matter if it’s not broken.” “I can still train.” Even to his own ears, he’s sounding a little hysterical. Logical, he reminds himself. Aizawa likes logical. He tamps down on his rising panic and a surprising, irrational flare of anger, and tries a different tack. “What if I get hurt on patrol when I’m a pro? Or in a fight? I’m going to need to learn to work around it.”

The key word for me in this section is 'surprising.' Shinsou doesn't really know why he's lashing out at Aizawa right now; he's aware, of course, that tensions have been running high at UA and beyond since the training camp disaster, the Kamino Incident, and All Might's retirement, but it's really hard in the moment to realize just how much that background anxiety is influencing his day-to-day thoughts and feelings. I talked about this a little in the end notes, but I really wanted to touch on that subtle, end-of-an-era anxiety in this fic, although I go back and forth on how effective I was at doing so.

It also feels relevant to mention that, in the wake of the All Might vs AFO fight & in spite of Aizawa's later comment about pain and injury being more temporary than ever due to quirks like Recovery Girl's, Shinsou's mind immediately goes to the idea of getting hurt and having no choice but to keep going, keep fighting, anyway.

Aizawa’s eyes narrow, his mouth a thin line. “You’re not a pro hero right now,” he says, a note of steel in his voice. “You’re a student—my student.” “Yeah, well,” Hitoshi says, clipped. “Your students get hurt all the time.” The words surprise him almost as much as they surprise Aizawa. Unnervingly, Hitoshi sees his surprise—a flicker across his face, fleeting but obvious in a way that’s almost uncomfortable. The regret hits him like a bus, flattens his own anger beneath its metaphorical tires, but it’s too late. Aizawa’s expression closes down faster than UA’s security wall when someone trips the alarm.

I REALLY LOVE THE UA SECURITY WALL METAPHOR. It's one of those things that I think both sets the tone & utilizes the setting at once--like, the first 'very fast thing' that this teenager would think of is the big metal wall that can spring up around his school at any given moment, just in case villains attack them. Again.

Also: surprised Pikachu Aizawa. I actually reblogged a post a couple days ago that featured surprised Aizawa dot gif, which is like. Kinda close to the expression I was picturing here lol. I feel like the key word 'surprising' thing applies here as well--Aizawa and Shinsou have settled into a certain rapport since they started training together, and this is definitely an out-of-character outburst that just so happens to relate to the thing Aizawa has definitely been beating himself up over for weeks, if not months. Fortunately, as Aizawa teaches teenagers, he's also pretty used to their outbursts.

“I didn’t mean—” he starts, but Aizawa cuts him off. “Recovery Girl,” he says. “Now.”

Shinsou very much interprets Aizawa's shortness here as anger, but really, this is the Let Aizawa Rest fic. We've talked before about how USJ and the training camp are like, Aizawa's worst fears made real, and now this man is just a big ball of exhaustion and validated paranoia dragging himself from life-and-death responsibility to life-and-death responsibility. Not only do I not really see him taking offense to what Shinsou said, but even if he did, he just. Doesn't have the energy to. The kid is right, after all :(

[rypnami]

Interview with a Writer

tysm for the tag @thefeatherwrites ! ily 💗

When did you start writing?

i’ve been writing little stories all my life, but i first started properly plotting/writing full ideas around 2016

Are there different themes or genres you enjoy reading than what you write?

angst. when it comes to writing, i’m almost entirely wholesome fluff- even when i try to write angst it always ends up being soft and sweet in the end. but i eat up reading peoples’ angst fics like there’s no tomorrow!!

Is there a writer you want to emulate or get compared to often?

other than some of my more talented mutuals?? ummm idk actually. i’ve always loved tui sutherland’s writing style (although that may be driven somewhat by childhood nostalgia). casey mcquiston is another author who’s writing i adore- i’d love to write like them.

Can you tell me a bit about your writing space?

anywhere and everywhere. in the car, in my bed, cuddling on the sofa with my dogs, etc. it does make it hard to focus when i’m not in a quiet environment, and i’d love to have a dedicated writing space, but right now i just don’t have one TwT

What's your most effective way to muster up a muse?

i’m literally always thinking about my fics, possible aus, and all that. sometimes re-reading favourite fics, or watching good television, can help me stay inspired !

Are there any recurring themes in your writing? Do they surprise you?

all of my fics involve a healthy dose of fluffiness. often with a liiiittle bit of angst mixed in, just to keep it interesting, but yeah. lots of wholesomeness.

it is a bit surprising to me, mostly because i’m not the most cheerful person around. most people who know me irl expect me to write sad stuff. perhaps fluffy work is my form of escapism

What is your reason for writing?

i just love it! i have soooo many ideas in my head and i adore getting them out of my head and sharing them!! even if not a lot of people read what i write, i appreciate the few that do and ily all so much 💗

Is there any specific comment or type of comment you find particularly motivating?

all comments tbh!! i don’t get a lot so when i do i cherish it. but the ones that always stick out are the ones that are loving and show that the commenter really paid attention to what i wrote. i’ve gotten a few longer, detailed comments before and those always make my whole week!!

How do you want to be thought about by your readers?

i mean just being perceived is pretty neat! but if my work inspires others that would also be cool as hell. so i suppose inspiring? one day i want to write something worthy of having art made of it or that people wait for updates for. i want to be valued if that makes sense.

What do you feel is your greatest strength as a writer?

setting an emotional tone. i’ve been told im good at getting across the vibe a scene is supposed to have, or the tension in the air etc.

How do you feel about your own writing?

i’m certain it’s not very good- i always overthink and am a perfectionist. i can’t live up to my own standards, and especially after sharing a community with such talented and amazing people i feel a bit like i don’t measure up.

no pressure tags for some of my favourite writers!! - @girl-named-matty @audrxyweasley @therozpoz @myokk @blueraineshadows @cuffmeinblack @kaidynsarell

[asexualzoro]

it's december 9th, meaning today is my 23rd birthday (which is my favorite number!), which means it's time for...

Lew Writes Wrapped 2023!!!

im including anything that happened after my last bday, so we have some works from december as well. this one's a bit of a weird one for the total word count, you'll see why

it's all treebark from my sideblog / alt ao3. i cannot change. i will not change. for these im just gonna specify the relationship that's the main focus bc thats easier than fandom bc all but like one are third life

dandelion wishing

(Dec, 2.4k, treebark, oneshot) (link)

op movie 6 au for dogwarts in which Martyn is the baron and Ren doesn't know he's dead

id actually plotted out a whole third life au for this movie like months prior and really wanted to write it, so i took it for treebark week and focused it just on these two. it's my fave movie of all time and i obvs had to give it to my fave completely dead team <3

i will admit tho. it did make me back search martyns twitter to see if hes ever posted abt watching this movie. bc i know he likes One Piece and i realized this would bring me into the danger zone (he hasnt ever posted abt it if hes seen it)

A Romance Route for the Doomed Villain?!?

(Dec, 5k, treebark, oneshot) (link)

treebark dating sim isekai parody that spiraled out of my control made in a day-long possession

im still baffled by this one. why was the response to this one so insane?? there was smth in the water the day i posted this bro. a 1:2 kudos to hits ratio for the entire first day is literally fucking unbelievable. 70 comments?? what hold did this fic have on you people. i got fic written about this one?? my friends goncharov'd me in front of my face

really fucking fun to write and the insane response was smth im always gonna remember. i appreciate you guys so much

treesekai also turns a year old in a few days!

Until the Angels Realize You're Not One of Them

(Feb, 7.2k, emerald duo, oneshot) (link)

a traitor phil au which was mostly just me talking about all the reasons i love technoblade

this one... wasnt actually written this year for the most part? i didnt want to not acknowledge it, since it's on my ao3 in this year, but i wont be able to count it toward the total

still. traitor phil au my beloved. hearing him say on his stream he and techno wanted to do a betrayal arc made me feel insane bc i already had this written at the time

missing or obstructed

(2022-present, 12.9k, Grian & Ren, ongoing) (link)

post 3L fic about Ren and Grian seeking out closure with a lot of funny little sleep metaphors

same deal as the last fic, i, uh dont think i actually wrote anything new for missing or obstructed this year either? just uploaded chapters i wrote last year,,, i didnt wanna now acknowledge it, but i wont count this in my total later

i miss her. one day ill actually sit down and write more missing or obstructed. in my doc im JUST at introducing Martyn and i havent written it yet

to reach my mangled debut

(Sept, 4.2k, treebark week, ongoing) (link)

it wouldnt be me if i didnt have an execution somewhere in here. another op au!

THIS. I LOVE HER. when rev and i were plotting out the whole storyline for smop renchanting i was begging please give me this scene i need it and i had so much fun writing it. i rlly need to finish soon but i haven’t had time but please. please check out smop. she’s top of my priority list to update

Three-Dog Night

(Sept, 6.7k, treebark week, oneshot) (link)

BIG DOG. beauty and the beast au!

god im so fond of this au. there’s some rlly good scenes written for this and unposted bc i just need to link them together. honestly i think if i took a month and focused it on this fic alone i could fucking finish it but i don’t have the time ;-;

that said i’m so enamored w this au genuinely. o dunno what else to say i just think. puppy

Cover Me In Roses

(Sept, 3.3k, treebark week, oneshot) (link)

lamplight roleswap! put Martyn in a flower pot

i don’t feel as motivated to work on this one when i have lamplight unfinished so it’s lower on my priorities but know i have like an entire arc of this written and unposted. we just have a few paths for this one and i have to decide which one to use

it’s so wild to me lamplight has like. aus. like this isn’t even the only one? a roleswap. that’s insane? it’s wild that you all like lamplight enough i can even get away with this

First Sign of a House Fire

(Sept, 2k, treebark week, oneshot) (link)

i love superhero stories for two reasons: plots about secrets and adapting the characters to give them powers. this had smth fun for both of them

yellow rose isn’t super high on my list of priorities to update (i think the oneshot is interesting on its own) but one day,,,, it’s part of the many aus cherri and i have but it’s the longest for sure. the doc for just this au is like 100k words long on its own. at the time i draft this cherri and i are actively writing smth else for it in another tab. theres like 4 offshoots and im obsessed w all of them. we had to make ocs about this one. i’m excited to eventually add more to this series

actually that’s one of the scenes i’m most excited for and most dreading adding. we made a backstory oc and im SO attached to him and im excited to post a thing out there w him but. ough. whatever cringe is dead i’ll get there eventually and brute force my way into attaching you to our funky little robot guy

also love that this fic forced me to be decided on a docv characterization that i have to stick to. he may be a canon guy to martyn’s vtuber lore but he’s my oc now too

Blindsided

(Sept, 2k, treebark week, ongoing) (link)

pirate au and royal au based on a big secret and also stuffing a guy in a box and it's all stupid dramatic literally what else do you want or need in life

this is my wife. my favorite. my most beloved. blindsided gives me new illnesses and diseases. i have just one scene to write before i can update it and then i can continue unleashing her. god i love this fic the drama of it is SO fun.

the funny thing abt blindsided is i know all the plot chronologically but now how to Present it which is part of why i haven’t continued too much. eventually i will but until then know that one of the scenes im sitting on which has been fully written is one i think about constantly. hopefully when i post it cherri’ll let free the comic she did for it

i actually have the ending of this fic written i just need to get there lmfao. second on my priority list after smop i think

Cradle of the Leviathan

(Sept, 1.5k, treebark week, oneshot) (link)

i just love mer aus man. whats the point of it all if you cant have mer aus. just get a big ol fish

i have the ending of this au written as well and literally so little of the lead up. but this is pretty low on my priorities. i think this one stands just fine on its own. mer aus are nice like that

we actually have a few mer aus but for now i’ll be focusing on this one. i do have a few sweet post story things written for this one. maybe one day i’ll write enough to post em lmao

Lamplight AU

(2022-present, 47k, treebark, ongoing) (link)

renchanting dnd/fantasy au, martyn's a paladin and ren's a lamp

so i started this au last year. my wrapped last year said my total was 20k, so that means this year's total is.... 27k!

and… it was just lamplight’s birthday and i did all my appreciation for the fic and its readers then, but god. i love this fic so much and i love you all who have read it and been so kind about it. the amount of popularity it has makes it a bit nerve wracking to work on, but i still really want to see it finished. i hope to see the bulk of it done by this time next year!

Six Sentence Sunday

six sentence sunday is a challenge where i try to post six sentences i wrote that week every sunday, to keep me writing every week of the year! i do it over on my writing blog, @driflew

i did not keep up on my six sentences,,, i had a lot of sunday fencing tournaments. i did for ~33 weeks this year! thats a pretty good amount! i’ll have to be more on top of it next year tho

unpublished work

the last few years i havent included unpublished work, but with the extreme bulk of it, i wanted to note it down. cherri @/cherrifire and i have been writing a lot back and forth at each other in discord dms this year, and i wanted to include those in my count! bc holy fucking shit is there a lot of them

i didn’t include collab pieces, just pieces i wrote alone. i also only included the renchanting aus i share w cherri and scarian aus i share w flowey, nothing else—no unfinished lamplight or other independent pieces or oneshots, no original fiction for class, nothing. i also missed a few u haven’t moved to docs yet. so i’m lowballing by a few. thousands. of words

the total for those is...... 135k words! there is,,, something wrong with me

total and end notes

our total this year is...

187512 words!

that might be my highest word count yet! because i caught treebark disease. wild.

something really fun about this year to me is i really loved everything i wrote.

if you want to get me a gift or support me on my birthday… maybe try reading my work and reblogging it or leaving a comment! you can find my writing at driflew or skelew on ao3, follow my writing blog at @driflew, or even consider tipping my kofi!

thank you for sticking with me and supporting me this year! i really appreciate it! hopefully i can break 100k next year too!

[snickerdoodlles]

Timeloop for the wip game 👀 (I love me some time shenanigans)

me too!!! a timeloop story is the doomed hero trope on steroids and it's so good ❤❤

(*other timeloop ask for friends catching up)

besides the angst fun, what i'm most excited about for this WIP are the POV changes!! this fic is in three parts: Kim POV, Big POV, and Chay POV.

Kim POV: the angst. the fun. the drama. obviously because it's me, there's so much KimChay in this section, because Kim's awkwardly flirted with Chay before this and while he's telling himself all his hanging out with Chay means nothing, Chay's rolling out his big romance guns and Kim is being so swept off his feet. not only does he exhaust every reason to hang out with Chay, he also starts letting go of those excuses to hang out with Chay, because if everything resets come morning, it doesn't matter what he does with Chay now. except, of course it does, he is falling deep and his already weak excuses for why he certainly doesn't like Chay are crumbling under the weight of each loop. his days with Chay just get better and better until he has the perfect day with Chay. it wasn't even planned, things just fell naturally into a full day date where they played hooky and enjoyed their time together and a day full of spontaneity and genuine connection.

and it crushes Kim. that is a day he will never actually get back, not even in his memory, because Chay doesn't remember it. there's no point in even trying to recreate it, not only because a second time would ring hollow, but also Kim literally wouldn't be able to (i'm not explaining my timeloop physics in this post, but it's not groundhog day). Kim has the most perfect day with Chay and then gets absolutely run over realizing he has all these memories of and secrets from Chay that Chay will never be able to share with him again, and it rips him to shreds ❤

...okay, i didn't mean to just gush over the KimChay part of his POV like that, i'm just super pumped to write that angst. but actually tho, the first scene i wrote for this AU was the scene where Big gets a bullet in the head as the price for Kim's recklessness, because Kim's primary goal thru all of this is still to uncover Korn's secrets. in fact, this story had actually started shortly after i'd written like. two? lines of Kim & Big almost-friendship in my Silver for Truth fic draft, gone "hey, wait, omg" and then those musings bumped into my love for timeloop stories...some time shortly after that, and i just had. so many shenanigan ideas for these two in this context. then i immediately dived head first into the angst, but this was originally Kim & Big shenanigans.

i also did not realize i still have this many feelings to gush about Kim's POV alone tho so in the interest of trying to keep this post from getting too long, only teasers for the Big and Chay POVs because i'm evil:

Big POV: Big gets sucked into the timeloop sometime after Kim's mostly given up. Big is way too much of an overachiever to do nothing for eternity and decides he doesn't give a shit if Kim's being weird as shit, he's gonna damn well investigate this nonsense around Porsche himself because Kinn's fucking him already and Big does not want another fallout as bad as Tawan's, thank you very much. this eventually leads him to Chay, who is, much to Big's despair, not only the secret subject of Kim's affections (Big didn't even know Kim had those!), but also more insane than Porsche, Kim, and the entire timeloop combined. he also keeps making Big ponder the big questions like what he wants from life, Chay is just Big's personal handcrafted hell, someone save him.

Chay POV: Chay never enters the timeloop. writing his outside POV is so much fun 😈

[ WIP game ]

[aaronstveit]

20 questions for 20 writers!

tagged by the bestie @afaramir abby thank you so much for giving me an excuse to avoid writing tonight <3

1. How many works do you have on AO3? 45!

2. What’s your total AO3 word count? 492,078 and literally a solid quarter of that is from c&b oh i'm laughing.

3. What fandoms do you write for? right now only for les mis but most of my works are trc and in 2019/2020 i wrote a bit for soc and aftg.....

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos? oh i'm laughing these aren't even GOOD.... 1. [redacted soc fic] 2. makes me feel a little bit closer to you - pynch clothes sharing fic 3. c&b (my most beloved this is the only valid entry on this list) 4. i ain't gotta tell him (i think he knows) - pynch ithk songfic 5. all the time, all the time (i think of you all the time) - pynch fic where ronan is tutoring adam in art

5. Do you respond to comments? mostly yes! for like a solid 2 years i didn't but now i do again <3

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending? ummm i think the only actually angsty ending i have is all too well adansey fic? i'm such a happy ending girlie that's the only one i can think of that doesn't end happily. for obvious reasons.

7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending? i like to think pretty much everything i write ends happily but c&b proposal fic is what comes to mind since i finally finished it THREE ENTIRE YEARS LATER very recently

8. Do you get hate on fics? no i have been very lucky so far actually!

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind? no because i am afraid

10. Do you write crossovers? i do not!

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen? not that i know of!

12. Have you ever had a fic translated? nope not yet!

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before? only the theoretical AUs that coco and i like to talk about but never commit to writing <3 although really you could consider coco my cowriter on most of my fics (especially c&b) like so much of them comes from her fr. love you coco <3333

14. What’s your all-time favorite ship? oh i can't pick. that's like asking a mother to pick her favorite child. right now those dead gay french revolutionaries have my heart but tomorrow, who knows?

15. What’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will? ugh i hate admitting defeat but. but. i am aware that beloved beloved pynch band fic will probably never be finished. which is a SHAME because i have soooooooo much of it planned out i mean like. i've got full albums designed. most of the beats are mapped out. i've got fake tweets written up, i've got chapter titles and scene drafts. like the entire concept is there and i'm so obsessed with it. but i just. after all these years it is extremely unlikely that i am going to actually, you know. write it.

16. What are your writing strengths? beginnings. i am so good at beginnings. that's why i have so many wips. also i like to think i'm good at dialogue. i try to write conversationally even when it's not actually a conversation and i think that translates well to actual dialogue it's fun.

17. What are your writing weaknesses? endings. i can't end anything to save my LIFE. also just plots in general escape me. and i always end up writing 10k more words than i meant to.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic? um other people who can do it definitely should! i however cannot do that. i did however use my extremely limited knowledge of the french language for the section headings in my most recent fic and i like the effect it produced i think.

19. First fandom you wrote for? all evidence of their existence has been wiped from the face of the earth but my very first fics were one star wars fic and one agents of shield fic circa like. 2015.

20. Favorite fic you’ve written? legally i'm obligated to say c&b but right now actually i'm still very very happy with how exr rooftop fic turned out. literally the entire time i was writing it i was just having a blast. i love writing angst and stuff it's like chewing on a polly pocket toy. now that i'm evil i never wanna write fluff again. i'm torturing those fictional guys fr.

tagging besties @television-bodies @gingerpeachtea and anyone else who wants to do it! ♡

[leedee013]

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 7 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 ILU have fun!!!!

AFTG ask game

I LOVE YOU TOO MWAH

all my answers are going to be under the "read more" because hoo boy.

When did you first read aftg?

I first read AFTG by listening to the first audiobook while riding around the bus and trains in Germany, then Seth died, I immediately needed to finish the series, and then I read the entire series in less than 48 hours rifp.

2. All For The Game or The Sunshine Court?

All For the Game. The Sunshine Court is about my son, Jean, but also... because he's my son I have a lot of points where I simply like what I wrote better! and a fair number of complaints with TSC, since a lot of the way Jean's trauma rears its head is far less realistic than how Neil's trauma rears its head.

3. Favourite scene(s)?

I won't lie, one of my favorite scenes is when Neil gets back from his father's home and the Foxes all sleep on the floor together. I'm a huge sucker for found family and hurt/comfort and MAN that scene ticked off all my boxes. It's the one that I'll actually go back every now and then to reread. Wymack's joke about "Wesninski" and that feeling of finally having a family gets to me literally every time. And blah blah yeah I also really love the mentality of Andrew dragging Wymack behind him as he crashes through everything just so he can get back to Neil's side.

4. If you could choose to make one fictional place from the books real, which one?

That place they go to when they get ice cream/milkshakes before going to Eden's Twilight! It sounds amazing

5. A character you think deserves to be more present in the books?

Hngh this is difficult because I do believe that, at least as far as AFTG goes (aka excluding TSC) the characters are all as present as they need to be. Neil is very tunnel-visioned, and I think that it's a solid amount of screentime for each character, so to say. Like my first thought was Seth, but it wouldn't have fit Neil's character for Seth to haunt him at all. Therefore, I think overall I'd liked to have seen more of Jean for purely selfish reasons. Also more Renee!

6. A non-canon ship you love?

Jean/Renee, Jean/Jeremy, Jean/Kevin, Renee/Riko, and then any mix and match of those characters in throuples/quoples/poly ships! I'm also a big fan of Dan/Renee because woooo enemies to lovers?

7. A part of the extra content you whole-heartedly agree with

Andreil never say "I love you" or get married. Also that Dan gets to take over the Foxes when Wymack retires. Also Sir and King but like. Who doesn't agree with that.

8. A crackship/crackships you've come to love

Rinee (Riko/Renee), I adore it so much okay. I love the healing energy of it all and also the way that Renee attracts the most strange and unhinged people to her.

9. Underrated aftg fanartist / fic writer (tag them!)(link if they're not on tumblr)

well obviously @capcavan @jtl-fics and @emry-stars-art can never be OVERrated. But I think the true underrated AFTG fanartist is @noomyart <3

10. A villain you think is fucking hot

well. uh. villain I guess would be Nathan. Antagonist? Riko

11. A side character you love and/or appreciate

NICKY, I love him so much. Also Renee. And Dan. And Matt. I'm so mad I can't just say Jean anymore since he's not really a side character anymore GAH

12. Favourite narrative foil?

I adore the Riko/Neil narrative foil. Both the sons that were not wanted, both having their lives attached to Exy and using it as a way to solidify their freedom/independence, while Neil had someone who tried to save him and Riko could only ever try to save himself.

13. Favourite narrative symbolism?

In general my favorite narrative symbolism are the keys; how they unlock opportunities for Neil; how they are signs of trust that others put in him; how they are something I don't think he ever thought he'd have (solidity/a home). I also love how much symbolism they hold for him, as well.

14. A character you would actually get along with in real life

Nicky (we'd bond over escaping our parents by running to Germany and using each other as an excuse to practice German) or Matt (because he's chill he's fun and he reminds me a lot of some of my actual friends from college).

15. A character you love but would deck in real life

Neil lmao

16. How did you even get here?? How did you discover AFTG?

I was browsing the Banana Fish tag and saw a post that was like "hey! do you wish that you had a series that was everything you loved about Banana Fish but with way more of Eiji pole-vaulting? then you should check out All for the Game for its mafia-infused sports anime vibes! and huzzah I haven't gotten off the hook yet

17. Would you play exy?

I feel like I'd be pretty good at it if I'd put my mind to it. It seems like fun and also I'm a bit of a masochist so I think the rougher plays would be really fun!

18. A fancast you will never let go of

Tbh I don't really have a fancast for any of the characters

19. A fancast you love that is super silly

I did see a guy the other day who made me double take and go KEVIN???? in my head if that counts

20. Which character would be the last to die in a actual zombie apocalypse?

Probably Renee tbh because she's unsuspecting, can broker peace between people who are fighting, and has absolutely no issue wielding and using knives in fights.

21. Would andrew minyard have beef with you?

Idk I feel like we'd vibe really well but wouldn't necessarily be close. He might get annoyed at how go-with-the-flow I am, though

22. Hyperspecific aro and or ace kevin headcanon?

I enjoy these headcanons and seeing people write them but I personally don't ever write him as either aro or ace. All the power to those who do though <3

23. Something you are very sure will happen in TSC2

Trojans win and 2. Jean meets the Foxes again before/after a game and it's emotional

24. Nicky or Allison? (Character wise and personality wise seperate)

I'm biased but Nicky. I relate way too hard to his story to not be biased here. But also I relate heavily to Allison and love her as well. I think she's also a lot more underappreciated out of the two, and gets a lot of unfair hate.

25. You're now only allowed to ship Kevin with one person (1) who is it?

man you're really out here discriminating against me and my poly ship here /t, but if it's only one person then I'd say Jean because again, I'm biased.

26. A 2000s song any one/ship/group of character would listen to

I feel like Andrew would secretly adore Lady Gaga's Poker Face and know all the lyrics even if he'd never sing along.

27. A detail or element from an older draft you would've loved to see in the final draft

LMAO so. I'm personally a fan of the version where Riko shot Kevin because Neil dodged/Kevin dove in front of him. I don't think I would have swapped the ending that we got for it instead, but I did think that it would have been an interesting change.

Also Riko and Kevin with longer hair

28. If you had to kill a fox. (Seth doesnt count.)

Aaron, because oh boy that poor medical student is probably already begging for some anvil to drop on him from the heavens

Question 29 for jean! Name a favorite Jean dialogue/quote

All of them because Jean is my favorite but also I think I'm going to go with "I will endure. I will endure. I will endure" because it's the first one I found while flipping through my copy of TSC and skimming for lines I thought were powerful. A classic is "Did a week away from the court damage your ball-battered brain?" (TSC 24), though. And then of course, as a Jeanee fan, the entire conversation between Jean and Renee on pages 68-69 where they talk about finding the joy in small things in life and taking a chance on himself and and

anyway hello thank you for coming to my TED talk

[tennessoui]

can i ask all the questions for polyglot ... i love u polyglot ....... (jk maybe 18 ? or 4 ?)

[from this fic writer's ask game]

18. If you wrote a sequel to polyglot, what would it involve?

omg so just so everyone knows and can hold me accountable later, polyglot is meant to be the first fic in a series. it's the "two bottoms in a space ship" 8k set up for a second fic 100%. it can absolutely be read by itself and could be stand-alone, but is meant to have a few fics following.

the immediate sequel?

a fic where they get to their hotel and it's only one bed. literally that is all the notes i have for that fic. it would of course lead to them getting to the actual planet obi-wan wants to visit....and only having one sleeping bag. we want pressed chest to chest. we want uncomfortable closeness. we want hurts whispered in the inches left between faces.

we want a polyglot series where anakin's unanswered letters are addressed, obi-wan's unwavering devotion for a child he does not allow himself to see---so much that he crystalizes the child forever as just that, unwilling to recognize that the child grew into an adult without him there---is also addressed........

polyglot is basically my indiana jones au fic series start-up and i would love to write the part 2 for it! this ask is incredibly apt for that reason alone

4. What detail in polyglot are you really proud of?

i don't think this counts as a detail, but i love the scene where anakin realizes it's not that obi-wan is disappointed in who he has become when he sees him.....but that obi-wan is disappointed that his anakin has not been deployed to this mission (because his anakin is perpetually a 12 year old kid)

the equivalent of 'oh he's just stupid' played out in like 500 words!! and of course anakin is incredibly endeared by it because he's just as stupid over obi-wan, and i really like how that entire scene happens.

anakin really goes from >:( to :/ to :| to :] to :D because obi-wan is an idiot and anakin also is an idiot <3

[bapple117]

Some RadioCotton Trivia 📻🐰❤️

Now that my first fic "If You Can't Say Somethin' Nice, Don't Say Nothin' At All" is finished, I thought I would share some behind-the-scenes trivia!

Some of this will contain minor spoilers for the plot, so read with caution if you've not finished the story - there will be no spoilers for part two (All That Grace). Okay let's go! This list is LONG so hold on y'all

The Bambi Thing

The name is a direct quote from Bambi; there's actually a LOT of Bambi references in the whole fic. The quote was actually the entire inspiration for the whole premise. Bambi is one of my favourite Disney movies and I couldn't help but notice a lot of shared themes between it and Alastor - and then I thought, what if a cute, wholesome rabbit demon came to Hell and taught him to be sweeter?

There's another direct script lift from Bambi later in the fic - when Alastor has the dream about his mother. 'Mother? MOTHER? Mother where are you?' Oh the pain.

Adam also calls Alastor "Bambi" and Verity "Thumper" at points, AND one of the chapters is called "Drip Drip Drop Little April Showers". The themes of them being a deer and a rabbit also crop up a lot, obviously.

The Music Thing

There are a LOT of references to songs, both when I put lyrics at the start of chapters and within the story itself. I am aggressively inspired by music and song lyrics, and have immensely eclectic taste, and can't help myself. Some songs would be the thematic influence for a chapter and I would literally listen to the song on repeat as I either planned or wrote the chapter. Something I'm still doing now while I write Bluest Monday!

At one point I spent about an hour trying to find the name of a music scale just so I could accurately describe it when Alastor and Verity play the piano. I am very meticulous with my research, I was determined to find it 😂

The Alastor Thing

The way I chose to write Alastor was influenced by a number of things. One, that "What just happened? Ffffffuck" line from the finale of Season 1 did a LOT of heavy lifting for me. It showed that he has a version of himself that's less guarded and raw - and I don't care what anyone says, it's NOT because his staff broke. He goes right back to the filter and accent immediately afterwards and the staff is still broken, so.

Two, I just really wanted to write him as someone that uses violence and a covered-up personalty as a coping mechanism for grief, which I don't think is too far from the canon. His eventual softening and ability to love was influenced by things like Mr Darcy, Kylo Ren (LOL), Astarion from BG3, etc etc. Traumatised bad boy is healed by the sunshine girl - we love to see it.

I also did a LOT of research on the canonical information thus far known about Alastor, including things Viv has said in streams. The only thing I got dead wrong was a chapter where he drinks tea - apparently he hates it. Everything else is either based on canon or a speculation based on lore that's been teased.

Other Random Facts

I chose to include Adam as a fleshed out character for a few reasons. One, he's hella fun to write. Two, I had the Vox-jealous-kidnap-and-rescue planned since the start, and I knew I needed a character who could help them. Adam is unknown to the Vees as a hotel resident at that point, and so he became a great choice. I needed to lay the ground work so it would be convincing that he'd help them, so he's there from the start. I ended up loving him so much that he's now one of the main characters in the sequel and is getting his own development arc. Go Adam!

Adam also breaks the fourth wall in the show (Ugly people? *looks at camera*) and so I felt inspired to make him quippy with pop culture references a la Deadpool. It was great fun and very helpful when I wanted to squeeze in a fitting reference.

There is a LOT of foreshadowing and wordplay in the fic. A LOT, so much I don't have time to list it all. For example, Verity drunkenly talks (in Chap 4) about how deer are territorial momma's boys - if that ain't Alastor idk what is. That info becomes very important in Chap 21.

There are references to stuff from Helluva Boss; Fizzerolli Cola, a Verosika music video plays, etc. A sign of more to come in P2 👀

Dramatic irony (where the audience knows something the character doesn't and it's either funny or tragic) is my absolute FAVOURITE Shakespearian trope, and I use it all the time.

I made myself laugh a lot coming up with the names for fake booze LOL

Husk was one of my favourite characters to write, as well as Alastor (ofc), Rosie and Adam.

My personal favourite chapters are 13 (Al drunk with Rosie) 19 (dream scene, fluff & first smut) and 23 (final chapter). I loved the image of Alastor laughing into his drink like a normal young man being silly and chapter 19 has a bit of everything - angst, fluff, smut, comedy. I loved writing that one so much.

The scene where Verity uses Alastor's power to manifest them away from the group cheekily and then Alastor likes it a lot and goes crazy kissing her is very inspired by this scene in Titanic (one of my all time fave movies) - especially where Rose swears and laughs as the lift is going up.

I myself have lost a parent, so I understand that loss very well. I poured a lot of that feeling into this fic, it was something I could actually inject into the story from my own experience.

I'm pretty sure we got the comments turned off on a video on youtube LOL. I linked this song at the end of Chap 19 (I listened to it on repeat while writing the love scene) and the next day the comments were disabled LMAO. That track will ALWAYS remind me of this fic now, arugh my heart

Verity

As much as Verity started as just a way for me to avoid using (Y/N) in a reader-insert fic (something I personally don't like) and a way for me to do the rabbit and deer theme, she became her own character over the course of the story. I made it reader-insert cause I figured no one would read it otherwise, but now the sequel is third person bc she's her own person.

Her name was also a deliberate choice - a V name meaning truth. She makes Alastor face his truth, yadda yadda blah blah blah you get it you get it 😂 Plus it just sounds like a rabbit name doesn't it?

Verity has a lot of traits from myself, but she is NOT self-insert for me, I'd hasten to add. I'm not completely delulu guys okay? ....Not entirely But she does have a lot of overlap with myself. You gotta write what you know, after all. I won't go into detail about the similarities between us - some of them are obvious, I think. But I'll leave that all ambiguous, more fun that way :)

Final Thoughts

There are honestly so many more things I could say but this is already veering into narcissistic self-indulgence land LOL so I feel compelled to stop here, but if anyone has any questions or things they'd like to know, pop them in my inbox!

That's all, folks!

[amazingdeadfish]

So . ... i read the newest chapter of colors and i have a question why didnt Red son or PIF or DBK know about Macaque's death? Did SWK keep his death a secret? Did Wukong actually kill him? If he assumed he left Macaque alive its going to be a somthing situation when the others find out like i imagine someone says "go to hell " and hes probably thinking "been there, done that " or something.

Well the thing is that in 'Interlude', PIF and DBK had indeed asked Macaque where he had been. Because he'd been absent and AWOL for more than a century by that point. Mostly it was because Macaque was dead, yeah, and then the rest of that time period he had sort of just been avoiding everyone. Macaque's excuse to PIF and DBK had simply been "well I did fight Wukong, and I did lose, so then after that I sort of just took myself out of the spotlight." Which is a valid excuse, it's not a good idea to be known for rivalling the great sage, and then being defeated. PIF and DBK never investigated any further than that, and thus this is the extent of what they know regarding Macaque.

In Blue and Violet, Macaque did indeed die. He went to Diyu after Wukong killed him, and LBD revived him a hundred years later with the help of the Chief.

Wukong does not talk about what happened in the fight either. And that's clear when you learn in Interlude that the little monkeys on the mountain had no idea that the fight between Macaque and Wukong even happened.

But does Wukong actually know that he ended up killing Macaque? Because maybe he left the scene thinking Macaque would eventually pick himself up again. Or did Wukong even intend to kill Macaque in the first place? These questions are questions the entire fandom has and in the fanfic I purposefully left it up to the reader's interpretation. Your interpretation. However I suppose you could say that in Interlude, when Macaque and Wukong meet again, you can see the tiniest instances of confusion from Wukong when Macaque brings up the fact that he died.

In conclusion? Literally just reread Interlude. Or just read it if you never even read it in the first place XDDDD. I wrote that fic in the series for a reason. Shadowpuppet content or not, it has so much information regarding establishing stuff for the Blue and Violet story. It is important. That's why I wrote it.

Because no, the Demon Bull Family does not know Macaque died and got revived by LBD. Yes, Wukong kept the fight between him and Macaque a secret because the little monkeys on Flower Fruit Mountain. Did Wukong kill him? Yes. Wukong definitely killed Macaque. Do Macaque and Wukong ever clear up their issues and potentially uncovering a misunderstanding regarding the fight and Macaque's death?

Wait and see.

[ominous-feychild]

✦ Writerly Questionnaire ✦

Thank you so much for tagging me, @the-golden-comet!! This looks fun, and a lot of these are questions I love answering and wanted to share here eventually, anyway! 😊

About Me

When did you first start writing?

It depends on how you define that, and then what you consider "writing", haha. 😅😭 I started this one garbage self-insert fic when I was 8, but didn't get far into it, haha. Then I wrote at least 100 pages of a horrible novel in a notebook at age 11. I consider the time I "officially" started writing to be when I started consistently doing so in 2014... when I started roleplaying on Google+. Before long, I'd formed my own stories from ideas I'd come up with in those rps and eventually settled on working on writing with a single writing partner for 5 years. We have since parted ways as of almost 3 years now.

Are the genres/themes you enjoy reading different from the ones you write?

Yes and no? Here's the thing: I absolutely adore my niche genre of "high fantasy and Used To Magic So Barely Questions It, but placed in a world that resembles modern besides a variable lack of technology. Oh, and we focus more on the characters than anything else!" But, uh... at least as far as I've found, that really isn't common. Especially not stories that also play faeries for horror, which is one of my favorite things, haha. I'm very firm and comfy in my writing genre. I've dipped elsewhere, but they're a lot harder for me to write and nowhere near as fulfilling, haha. However! I do love reading other genres, too! I love superhero and superhero-esque stories, I like a good amount of those "video game stuff popped up in real life" things, and yeah! Lots more. So it's less of a thing of "not liking the genre I write" or even "not being able to find it" and more of a "I like writing something very specific, but still enjoy other stuff". 😊

Is there an author (or just a fellow writer!) you want to emulate, or one to whom you’re often compared?

Ohhh this is kinda a difficult question? Nobody's ever told me specifically whether or not I resemble any other writers, and I only want to "emulate" other writers very loosely? I compare my worldbuilding to Tolkein's because I've been working on it for almost 6 years, have steadily been building out individual cultures and half-creating languages, have literally done weeks' worth of research on Earth Sciences to be able to build out a planet that Works... and then half threw it all out when I came up with the Faewildes and realized I can bullshit it. 😂😅😭 (Note: I still do not fully bullshit it though. Just don't stress as much as I used to.)

Can you tell me a little about your writing space(s)? (Room, coffee shop, desk, etc.)

Confession: I've moved around way too much and been way too poor to have any "solid" writing space that I'd like. I used to like going to cafes, getting some tea, and sitting by a window I could stare outside (and dissociate to) while hallucinating scenes before writing them. But for a long while, I've been too poor to be able to do that. It's actually probably one of the reasons I've struggled a lot to write recently now that I think about it... but oh, well. Since then, I tend to prop myself up in my bed with my stuffed animals and squishmallows forming a throne of sorts as I write. (Helps prevent back/neck pain, or at least push its onset back.)

What’s your most effective way to muster up some muse?

Editing my old writing and listening to The Story's Music! It helps me get back into the headspace of the relevant character(s) and it brings my mind back into the "prose writing" state. (Clarification: 99% of the music I listen to is associated with an entire story, one of my characters, a specific scene, or some combination of the above. It's both fun and one of my oldest ways of tricking my AuDHD brain into writing!)

Did the place(s) you grew up in influence the people and places you write about?

Ha... the trauma sure did!

Are there any recurring themes in your writing, and if so, do they surprise you at all?

Trauma, discrimination, and poverty. No, they do not surprise me, because they've all been a huge part of my life. SaS is a rare exception because (as I was initially creating it for a writing contest) I specifically created it to be very mainstream... but also mixed in a lot of my personal interests to get me through it. However, I think those themes (minus poverty in the MCs) still shine through, they're just a lot more subtle.

My Characters

Would you please tell me about your current favorite character? (Current WIP, past WIP, never used, etc.)

Technically, dare I say, a LOT of my characters are "among my favorite characters". However, as I've gone on record saying, it's probably Gene, one of the MCs of the Arcane Rifts, haha. However! Since I already have an Ask in my inbox about him (I'll get to those eventually, I swear 🙏) I'll go elsewhere! I think among my top favorite characters would probably be Carmin, Basil, Caron, Xao (pronounced "How", and yes he never hears the end of it), Tobin, Sammy, and Quinn! Tbh I definitely could've listed more, as I said, I love most of them-- Quinn, though! Is the son of the Existence of Fate, one of the "oldest gods" of my stories. He's forced to see all of time, always. That mistake he made 300 years ago? Almost literally burned into his brain. That mistake you made five seconds ago? Also there. Something happening on the complete other side of the world? Yep. And actions people will commit 500 years from now? You betcha. Except, the "future" events can change, and more drastically so the further they are in the future. Butterfly effect and all. He and his mother, Fate, are constantly doing things in pursuit of... what? Well, they have a plan... but I obviously can't say, haha. Dude's horribly traumatized, though--he's constantly witnessing every single atrocity ever committed and has even watched others that would've been committed played on repeat in his mind until he found a Timeline that prevented it. He's long-since grown used to it, but also consider... his own life is in there. Nothing that happens to him will ever be a surprise. Not except for when he creates a new timeline by changing events that should've otherwise happened. That's why he's constantly telling jokes and being obnoxious to people he doesn't like--to humor himself for the small moments they're new to him. Kid's (he's frozen at a young age because powerful magic + ageless-immortality) depressed af... but it's okay. He's working towards something he believes in. So why are Quinn and Fate actively doing horrible things if they want to make things better? Guess you'll have to find out! In ten-thousand years when I finally write the reveal. (I love Quinn so much istg--)

Which of your characters do you think you’d be friends with in real life?

Oh, that's hard. Probably Gene! Maybe Freya, but definitely Daleira and Faer! Here, let me just-- Probably: Gene, Mislav, Faer, Liesel, Maritza, Grimnir, Caron Definitely: Daleira, Damaris, Ludmila, Rada, Carmin, Cricket Possibly: Freya, Crow (but I'd possibly find them irritating / overwhelming), Adilzhan, Caspar, Soren, Zarina, Basil (Half of the "probably/possibly"s is because I'm not sure if they'd like me. Especially Zarina. Omfg I love her so much but idk if she'd like me at all.)

Which of your characters would you dislike the most if you met them?

Oh, dear. This is a difficult question. I'll start with characters you guys know--Tazin and Valyarus. Hands down. Tazin because he's way too loud/crude and he would both overstimulate me and piss me off to no end. Valyarus, well... because he's an egotistical, rich prick. Enough said? But actually? Half of the Existentials. Order especially, Fire, and Storm. Perhaps not so coincidentally, all of the "top gods" besides Fate herself...

Tell me about the process of coming up with of one, all, or any of your characters.

So it depends on the character and why I'm creating them! There's a few different ways one of my characters can come to be, but uh... we'll start with explaining Oska's creation! So, from the beginning, Oska was created to just be the leader of the khonitva (a gang). Originally, he was going to have a rather small role in the story--the khonitva and the reason he was the leader were more important. His main role in the first draft was showing up at a REALLY bad time, capturing the relevant MC(s), and killing another character. So all I worked on was his personality (it related to how/why he was the leader) and his motives. He became an angy man out for vengeance and basically nothing else. Then I expanded on tAR, turning it from a duology to... well it'll be 5 or 6 books now. 😅 The first two books would spend more time in Kavo (the town Gene lives in), and so Oska's character expanded. A MASSIVE part of his character was tied to the death of his brother, so I did a little expanding on his brother, and he had a "sidekick" in Rieka, the khonitva's healer who (even from early drafts) had romantic feelings for him (but at the time they weren't mutual; Oska had too much anger for his brother's death). Oska's character has perpetually been focused on his brother's death and his role as the leader of the khonitva, so I simply expanded it so that--rather than just being the leader--he cared for the khonitva like a family because it was the only bit of "family" he had left. So uh... I guess I focus on the most important part(s) of the characters relative to the story, then expand on them? That's the "role in the story" method I flesh out a character, at least, haha. Otherwise, if I'm just trying to create something with a very VAGUE role/idea, I'll often look at writing prompts, artwork, the literal superpower wiki, and fandoms I'm not part of for something to make me start to think. Y'know, have ideas. I'd get into an example, but this section is already pretty long, haha!

Do you notice any recurring themes/traits among your characters?

COUGH the social Others or socially-othered COUGH impoverished and/or exploited COUGH abused by a parental figure COUGH abused in general COUGH neurodivergent and/or gay COUGH, WHEEZE, HACK-- Ugh, sorry, idk what just happened there. Probably the fact that a lot of them are socially awkward, have anxiety, have a "different" way of communicating, and/or are emotionally withdrawn? And I accidentally give my autism to a lot of them. 😎😭

How do you picture them? (As real people you imagined, as models/actors who exist in real life, as imaginary artwork, as artwork you made or commissioned, anime style, etc.)

Through Pinterest boards! I have aphantasia and can't really see things in my head very well (if at all), so I'll use Pinterest boards to collect images that have the Vibe™ or characteristics of my individual characters... which is incredibly difficult for my inhuman or even more ordinarily diverse characters. Like, I'd get into a tangent about "why is 90% of art on the internet of white and/or conventionally attractive people" but uh... I don't think I have to here. Anyway! Yeah, a lot of my characters, I'll have vague ideas/impressions of what they look like and seek things out along those lines. Freya, for example, I basically immediately knew to have poofy red hair like Brave's Merida. Some characters are a lot harder, because I think I know a certain thing is a fact... when apparently I saw them as a completely different race without realizing??? (RIP White Rada for example. I was actively TRYING to make a majority of tAR's characters white because they're so xenophobic but no. 😅)

My Writing

What’s your reason for writing?

I used to space out and "hallucinate" scenes of my writing while going about my day. It was my way of coping with the rest of my life, which really wasn't great. (I mean it still isn't now but, y'know. It's much better!) Since I started working on novels, my goal has shifted. I mean--I still write for myself and my own enjoyment first and foremost. But I don't just want to write for myself--I also want to write for others. Here, let me just share a majority of my bio from Tapas--

I'm an autistic woman who's lived through a variety of experiences and places, and like to include things reflecting that. Diverse characters, cultures, environments, and politics (different within each in-story location!) appear in my writing. I like weaving life lessons--through the experiences of relatable characters--into the stories I tell. Many people see themselves or the people around them reflected in the characters they see in books, so I think it's helpful for people to be able to see those same kinds of people within fiction so they can reflect on the relationships within their own lives.

Is there a specific comment or type of comment you find particularly motivating coming from your readers?

THEORIES!!!

I absolutely love it when people theorize because:

I put oh-so many mysteries and hints toward Truths

it shows they're paying attention

it shows they care enough to try to pick out the pieces and put them together!

I can see how well I'm doing with the seeding of hints if people are noticing them... even/especially if they realize they're important but don't know how/in what way!

How do you want to be thought of by those who read your work? (For example: as a literary genius, or as a writer who “gets” the human condition; as a talented worldbuilder, as a role model, etc.)

Oh dear, you're trying to out me as an egotist now, aren't you?

WELL CONGRATS, I'M FALLING FOR IT--

I'd like to think of myself as a writer who does amazing worldbuilding and makes realistic characters, so... obviously it'd be awesome if others thought of me the same way, haha. I mean, otherwise, I'd really just prefer people enjoy my writing in general? Tbh I don't have any other goals besides enjoying it myself and making others happy with it.

What do you feel is your greatest strength as a writer?

I would say realistic and diverse characters. I'm a huge fan of psychology, love learning about other cultures, and listen to the stories of people from a lot of various backgrounds. I like to think those things allow me to write characters with a variety of backgrounds, worldviews, and personalities.

What have you been frequently told your greatest writing strength is by others?

Nobody's necessarily said it's my "greatest" strength, but the most common compliment I receive about my writing is that it's very easy to read and picture what I'm describing!

How do you feel about your own writing? (Answer in whatever way you interpret this question.)

Uhm... this is a difficult question to answer. I like my stories, but I struggle with prose. I overthink a lot and sometimes have a very hard time describing things in good part because of my aphantasia, but it can be very validating to hear when I do a good job with it.

I have a lot more fun creating the ideas and maybe even making outlines than I do actually writing them--but I'm pretty sure that's kinda normal, haha?

My writing today is very different from what it was 3 years ago, back when I was still writing with my old RP partner (we'd planned to publish together). It was a lot more grimdark before, and tbh I never liked that and only came to terms with that after we parted ways. Then, I put my time and effort into working on tAR (solely my own work even then), clearing out a lot of the grimdark-ness, and building it out to what it is today. I'd temporarily abandoned our old projects because I needed to cut her stuff out, but didn't know how to, and it was painful to try.

it was only a handful of months ago that I revisited my old works with her and found that it's no longer painful. So I've finally been bringing together my old worldbuilding with the kind of writing I want to make today--which still requires a lot of changes and updating.

In short: I love writing, though it can be very emotionally-loaded. I have a lot of insecurities relating to the quality thereof, but I'm pretty sure that's universal, haha.

If you were the last person on earth and knew your writing would never be read by another human, would you still write?

Of course! Though it'd likely be more outlines than actual prose, haha. After all, I primarily write for myself first and foremost.

When you write, are you influenced by what others might enjoy reading, or do you write purely what you enjoy? If it’s a mix of the two, which holds the most influence?

Yes and no; so it's a mix of the two. The priority, of course, is what I enjoy writing. However, I do want to become a published author and (hopefully) live primarily off of it one day. That goal means I also have to cater somewhat to what I know other people will like/what makes sense to them.

However, I don't particularly think that's a problem in my case! In application to tAR, I refuse to change it in a lot of its core ways--aka the multiple plots going on at once, the MCs starting as children, the mixture of invented words from their native language, and the fact that it doesn't cleanly fit into any genre--so figuring out how to make it otherwise palatable for others to read is more of a fun challenge for me actually!

SaS is different, however. I purposely made it very mainstream due to initially starting it for a contest (which has since ended), and I think those clichés make it much less enjoyable for me than it otherwise would be. But that can still be changed! I'm working on building out SaS as you read this--that's part of why I focus on it with Asks--so hopefully I'll come to love it half as much as I do tAR!

(And, I mean, to be fair, SaS has been growing on me lately! So it seems to be working at least a little! I think SaS was also very unique for my stories in that I made it to be a story rather than picking out events that I already saw happening in the world I've made, so it's been harder to get into it in general.)

Looks like I've rambled more than I should again, haha. 😅😭 Hope it was still worth reading and/or that you guys enjoyed it anyway??

Tagging (with no pressure): @honeybewrites @yourpenpaldee @the-letterbox-archives @darkandstormydolls

Divider by @cafekitsune

[thedawningofthehour]

for the dvd commentary thing - im not sure if it fits under 500 words or if u can even remember what u were thinking since u wrote it like last year , but the scene in arc 1 chapter 8 where draxum n donnie talk abt sun tzu n mythology n names ?

That is...yes, that's quite a bit longer, about 1300, but lucky for you I'm very narcissist and love talking about my shit. (and nobody else sent one in)

“You’ve read Sun Tzu.” Draxum is just looking at him, with a quirked eyebrow and a small smile on his face. For some reason, Donnie’s face flushes. “Well, yeah.” He looks down. “I’ve always loved reading, and it’s not that long. What, did you know him or something?” “He was a bit before my time.” Okay, he’s actually smiling now. It’s creepy. “But his work is quite illuminating.” “I’m surprised you’ve read it. He was a human, after all. A warring human. Aren’t you against that?” “Only fools believe they have nothing to learn from their opponents.” “So you’ll apply that to a two-thousand-year-old book, but not to modern humans?” Donnie tugs on his cuffs. “You know you missed, like, the entire point Sun Tzu was trying to make, right? His entire philosophy was that using violence is rarely the best way to get what you want and conflicts are better solved diplomatically.” “And he also said that when you do draw your bow, to draw your strongest arrow.” “Yes, but only if-” “Do you not think there have been attempts to address our conflict with the humans diplomatically?” Draxum says shortly. “You think you’ve seen the extent of this war. This has gone on much longer than you. Longer than me, even.”

So that took influence from a podcast I enjoy:

The whole thing is a fake talk show radio program from a fictional city with sort a sort of surreal-absurdist vibe going on. (one episode depicts a political debate that devolves into an argument over whether the crawdad people would vote for them and one candidate's treatment of the alligator king, for example) Also not the only reference to this podcast in this fic; this is where Tubby Dan's Barbecue and its various trials Bella mentions are from. He actually has a commercial later on in this episode.

I also have not been able to find the exact quote he uses. This guy might just be trolling me. But I figured, Donnie's fifteen, even if it is a fake quote that's the kind of mistake a fifteen-year-old would make.

“I’m just saying-” “No, you will listen to me on this occasion. Look around you, boy. Think of where we are, think of who we are.” “We’re a turtle and a goat-man in your lab. I can’t really look at much else.” The slap takes him by surprise. It doesn’t particularly hurt, but he feels quite confident by now in how far he can push Draxum before he uses physical force, and he hadn’t reached that point. “The Hidden City is under New York City,” Draxum says quietly. “You have more experience with the world above than I do, so let me ask. Does it feel like New York City?” Donnie shakes his head, his cheek still stinging. “Why do you think that is?” “I assumed it was because the Hidden City is a lot older? New York is only about three hundred years old, and almost everything up there was built in the last century,”

(noooo a typo)

(I literally just went back and edited a nearly year-old chapter right now, it's all fixed dw)

But for real, New York is an infant of a city. I know the Hidden City is under New York because the turtles live in New York, they've always lived in New York-but I wanted it to make sense why.

So my idea was that the Hidden City isn't so much under New York, but that New York was built on top of the Hidden City. They weren't even hidden at first-they just fucking lived there, cohabitating with the indigenous Lenape people, (or at the very least they left each other alone) and adapted when Europeans started their colonizing bullshit, gradually moving underground as more humans showed up and clashed with the Yokai, not understanding what they were. (The Lenape and the original colonizers didn't really know either, but there was an understanding of bro just don't ask questions that was gradually lost as more and more people settled there) Part of the reason it became 'gestures to all of New York' is because of the presence of the Yokai and all their nonsense. So basically-the chicken came before the egg, and the Hidden City is that chicken. Or one of them. You can decide whether they did the fucking or laid the egg.

“You are…correct in that observation, yes. The Hidden City is much older.” Draxum glances off to the side. “But think of what is here. Think of where it came from.” “Well, yes, the culture here is heavily East Asian. Even the name Yokai originated in Japan.” “Think about that. Why are so many Yokai from that area? New York is on the other side of this continent. It is not a simple journey.” “I assumed there was some portal.” “There was, but by design. Why did they come here?” “I’ve met Yokai that are definitely European.” “Very few. Think about why that is.” Donnie glances up. “Fewer Yokai in other parts of the world.” “We were actually more widespread in some areas. Why do you think you do not see our brothers and sisters from the Horn of Africa? The Maghreb? From the islands of the great Pacific? They existed, my boy. Ask me why they are not here.” Donnie is silent. Draxum looks over him, his eyes narrowed and cold. “The Hidden City is the last of its kind. There are no other communities like this elsewhere in the world, not anymore. So I will ask you again, boy. Why are there so many Yokai here from Asia? And why are the Yokai of the rest of the world not here?” Donnie remains silent. “Answer me, boy.” “I understand.” “I want you to say it.” “Humans killed them.” Donnie focuses on the ceiling. 

Another one of those 'try to make the lore of the fucking ninja turtles show realistic' decisions. I know the reason they're called Yokai and why there's so much East Asian influence is because they are Ninja and this is a show about Ninjas and the writers wanted to harp on that, but it doesn't really make sense from a lore perspective.

I mean, think of where New York is. Pre flying, pre Panama Canal, the Far East and New York couldn't have really been more far apart. To get from Japan to New York by ship, you had to sail across the Pacific, down the west coast of both north and south America, around Cape Horn, back up the east coast all the way from Argentina to the fucking northeastern tip of the United States. Or land in Washington and cross the entire continent on foot. (I know they have portals but that's not the point, okay?) Like, unless there was a really big, heavy traffic natural portal from the Hidden City to Japan it just doesn't make sense for that to be the primarily culture. Especially considering the Crying Titan, canonical father of all Yokai, is under New York. If there was going to be a higher concentration of Yokai in any peoples, it would be the native people of North America. Because that's where the goddamn empyrean is flowing.

But we see pretty much no obvious First Nations influence. We get some East Asian and some European, all under a heavily Americanized umbrella. I mean, yes, they did this because this is a show marketed to American children and that's what's recognizable to them, but still. I needed it to make sense.

And it gave me the perfect frame to hang a blood-soaked backdrop.

“So you do understand.” Donnie presses his lips together. “I don’t think all humans deserve to die for it.” “I don’t think so either.” He must look surprised, because Draxum looks down at him, amused. “What? Deserve is a rather heavy word. I’m not speaking of deserving. I’m speaking of survival. Humans and Yokai cannot coexist. One of us will destroy the other. I do not intend to allow my people to languish in the dark while the humans choke us out.”

This is really the cornerstone of Draxum's beliefs. Yes, he's acting out of hatred and anger, but I didn't want that to be his whole thing. That's not as compelling, and Draxum's intelligent enough to need a concrete reason. And I mean...from his perspective, relations with humans have always gone sour eventually. And his people end up paying the price for that in blood.

“What makes you so sure?” “It has been foretold.” “What, like a prophecy?” “Exactly. There is a prophecy that predicts-” “You haven’t read much Greek literature, have you?” Donnie shifts in his binds. “Oedipus? Cronos? Or are those guys too old for you too? Let’s see, we have the Mahabharata. Macbeth. Sun, Moon, and Talia. Have you read Harry Potter?” “What-” Draxum closes his eyes. “Child, what in the world are you talking about?” “Those are all stories of self-fulfilling prophecies. In every one of those stories, the actions taken to avoid the prophecy cause it to come to fruition. Cronos eats his kids because he was told one of them would overthrow him, but that just makes his kid angry enough to do it. Talia is foretold to be killed by a splinter of flax, so her father bans flax from the house. The first time she sees someone spinning flax, she doesn’t know what it is and pricks her finger due to her curiosity and inexperience.” “...Why would a splinter of flax kill her?” “I always assumed there was some context lost in the translation, because that part never really made sense. Anyway, the point is that trying to prevent the prophecy just made things worse. It likely never would have come true, if people had simply done nothing.”

I'd like to call back to Draxum's speech to the Shredder in the finale. He does his big dramatic betrayal because he realizes that the prophecy foretelling the destruction of the Yokai was not the humans, but Shredder himself.

But he conveniently leaves out his own role in that. Draxum brought the Shredder back. Even before factoring in the orb he gave Big Mama, pulling Karai from her hell dimension, even without the work he did recovering the cursed metal-like, even if the Foot got every piece of armor the could get their hands on without him, they still wouldn't have finished it because Splinter had the last piece. And there's no way Splinter would have allowed it to be taken. Even Draxum couldn't defeat him in combat. The only reason Splinter gave it up was to save his sons-the sons that were shown kicking the Foot's ass all episode. If it was just them, they couldn't have captured the turtles. No Draxum, no Shredder.

Which makes the entirety of Rise a self-fulfilling prophecy in itself. In trying to destroy what he thought was the greatest threat to his people, Draxum created the very thing that could end them.

“No, it would have been a regular prophecy, like Cassandra predicting the fall of Troy.” “So you do know your Greek literature!” Donnie almost smiles at that. “Potentially. But far more likely that the prophecy simply doesn’t come to pass, like the thousands of other prophecies that are forgotten. We only hear about the ones that come true, after all. And from a simply mathematical standpoint, some of them must come true.” “I understand what you’re trying to do, and I understand your point. But you are a child playing at war.”

Yeah, he doesn't have a good answer here. So he just dismisses Donnie's point. Reminds me of my own dad!

“Well, maybe you need a child’s point of view,” Donnie huffs, rolling his eyes. “Have you ever thought maybe you’re too far into this to see what you’re doing?” He expects Draxum to call him names again, but he’s quiet for an uncharacteristic amount of time. Donnie turns his head, seeing Draxum leaning against his desk, a very far-away look in his eyes. “I know I was,” he finally says, so softly Donnie almost doesn’t hear him. “But I realized my mistake. I pulled out of it before it was too late.” He turns back to Donnie. “That’s why you’re here.”

A callback to Cass telling Draxum that the armor would kill him. Because really, Draxum's plan was stupid. He barely knew anything about this armor, the Foot, why they were so willing to give him this power. Yet he didn't ask questions. He didn't do any research. He trusted the Foot-humans, who had no love for his people and no reason to help him. Yet he plunged in. He was so enamored with the dark armor's power, so obsessed and blinded by bloodlust that he didn't stop to think about any of this. Not until Cass basically slapped him across the face and told him to snap out of.

And then he realized. He'd almost died-and died horribly, feeding a leashless monster. That was how lost he was in his bid for power. He had a whole-ass personal crisis before deciding to take up kidnapping as a hobby.

Donnie raises an eyebrow. “Kidnapping me was the less extreme option.” “Correct.” “I mean, yes, kidnapping one turtle isn’t as bad as unleashing a literal demon, but like…you couldn’t have found some middle ground?” “You’re my strongest arrow,” he replies simply. And it feels like someone’s dumped ice water over him. “Don’t be angry. I tried to compromise with you. I would have let you keep your name and your family, but you’re the one who refused to meet me in the middle.” Donnie just looks off to the side. “Think about it.” Draxum approaches his table, reaching out and grasping Donnie’s shackled hand, fingers curling around him like a claw. “You’re going to help me protect Yokai and mutants alike. We will do great work together, and when I lead my people into the sun with you by my side, your name will go down in history.” He does a little smile at that, like it’s a pleasant thought. “You just have to tell me what you want that name to be.”

I was kind of hoping someone would catch onto this. At this point, Draxum is still considering Donnie (or rather, his fantasy son who doesn't have a name yet) to be an accessory to his power. Like yeah, he wants him to be revered and rewarded after the fighting is done, but when the history books are written he'd be a chapter in Draxum's book. The next time he mentions the whole 'lead our people into the sun' thing, he says they'll do it 'side-by-side' because he now considers Galois an equal, and as time goes on he will eventually see himself as the person meant to help Galois on his path and set him up as the true savior of the Yokai.

[bellisima-writes]

10 Questions for Fic Writers

Thanks so much for the tag @katiefrog217!!

Absolutely NO pressure tagging, but these folks have written some lovely pieces on AO3 and if they want to participate and talk about their art, they deserve to: @di-42, @addledmongoose, @notalostcausejustyet, @hikarry

1. How many works do you have on AO3? |

Two (one completed and one WIP about 40-50% done)

2. What's your total AO3 word count?

*shifts uncomfortably in chair*

According to the stats page I just discovered (seriously how long has THAT thing been there?), I've published 185,536 words on AO3 (WHATTTTTTT in the what?!?).

3. What Fandoms do You Write For?

I've only ever written for Good Omens.

If we want to discuss what other Fandoms I have hyperfixated on and created elaborate stories only to not ever write them down? Then we can also include BBC Sherlock, The X Files, Stranger Things, and my OG from when I was a kid, Star Trek TNG. But I've only ever put pen to paper for Good Omens.

4. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

Every. Single. One. If someone cares enough about what I write to make a comment, I am absolutely responding. The only time I don't respond to each is if there are multiple on a single chapter or I respond to one from a later chapter before the earlier one. Otherwise, I really do try to respond and thank every reader who's ever left me a note. It means the world to me.

5. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Nope.

6. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

No, but I've discussed it briefly with some people and would honestly love to.

7. What's your all-time favorite ship?

Aziraphale/Crowley. Though when I was a kid I was also obsessed with Niles and Daphne from Fraiser and every time I rewatch that show I am right back there (yes...old I know but it was good soup back in the Must See TV Thursday era).

8. What are your Writing Strengths?

Ummm...I think I build good plot, tension and (somewhat) unexpected twists into stories well. I have an inability to not try to figure out puzzles, which makes me annoying to watch movies with but turns out is a good skill for actually building twisty stories.

I also personally think my characterization and dialogue are strong, but that could be up for debate.

9. What are your Writing Weaknesses?

One completed fic and one WIP at 185k words is pretty self explanatory, I think. I spend a lot of time in set up and making sure the plot points I write are earned and while I do lean on the source material, I also feel a compulsive need to build out the motivations of my versions of these characters.

I can't write something thats out of character, my brain literally won't let me. It will get painfully stuck until I admit, this would not happen this way and abandon the scene and start over. I have an entirely written alternate version of the Last Angel that I completely scrapped at one point because it just wasn't right...

I also struggle with descriptive language. It's why I never, ever thought to write before entering this fandom last fall. Fanfiction is such a gift because everyone already has a picture of the world you're writing, of the people who are speaking, of their tone of voice, and so you don't have to spend time describing the landscape or physical qualities. So that huge gap in my skillset doesn't affect the story as much.

And humor. I want to be funny, so badly. And lighthearted. But my stuff tends to lean into the difficult themes in the universes the stories take place in. People who write humor well are unicorns and I worship them. Part of the reason I scrapped that alternate version of the Last Angel was because I was leaning into the funny a lot more and it just ended up not feeling realistic to the situation.

And grammar. My grammar could always grammar better.

10. What was the first fandom you wrote for?

My initial Good Omens fic was the first story I ever wrote.