#this was such A PAIN

[ooliecat]

alternate origin for the aperture sapper

i got more tf2 x blank stuff on the way.

psychonauts. then portal again. then maybe not psychonauts. then portal again.

[thruflames]

dew i drew for a final project :D

[carrion-art]

I'm doing evil little things

[langernameohnebedeutung]

Major reconsidering the benefits of nuclear annihilation or a zombie apocalypse in real time

[here-2suffer]

Guess who finally got the next out :^D. Uh, sorry it took so long. I felt bad that it was taking so long and I ended up taking a break from it because of that and then I realized you guys have been waiting forever so I rushed the ending- sorry you had to wait so long for something that isn't even long. Also I promised I'd tag @justaduckarts and @total-fandom-tr45h for this so yeah. These are the people who inspired me to write this, you guys should check them out, they're really cool. Okay, so finally, here it is.

Fish Tales chapter 2

It's been a while now, you've stayed on this ship the whole time. Your tail is fully healed now (sadly it still has some scars), and it didn't even take as long as it normally does. Though that's probably because of whatever Solaris and Lucien said they were using. Magol, was it? No, that doesn't feel right.

It's morning, you're out on the dock looking at the sky as the sun rises, coloring the sky in beautiful yellows and oranges and reds and blues that reflect on the sea. It's an amazing view. You never really saw sunrises or sunsets before you were on this ship.

Solaris comes up behind you and hugs you. "Goooood morning sunshine!" He's taken a liking to calling you 'sunshine' the same way Lucien calls you 'starfish'. You look at him and smile. "Morning Solar." Lucien comes with breakfast and sets it down on the table. "Good morning starfish." "Morning Lucien."

The morning goes by like all the others, you eat breakfast, talk about random things, and occasionally Solaris or Lucien 'accidentally' brush their hand against yours. It gives you a weird feeling in your stomach, you don't know what it is.

Solaris and Lucien check your tail before any work can get done on the ship, that's usually how they decide which places you can and can't go to depending on whether it can hurt your scars. "Well, would you look at that! Looks like your tail is fully healed!" Solaris' voice is as cheery as usual. He keeps his hand on your tail and Lucien sits next to you, putting his arm around your shoulder.

You look at your tail and at the sea, then back at the boys. "Does mean I can left now?" The boys' smile faded in an instant.

"You're not leaving." Lucien sighed. "Why no?" You raise an eyebrow at him. Lucien pulled you a little closer. "Because I don't want you to." "Lucien!" And then Solaris started scolding him again.

Solaris sighs and turns to you. "He's right though, you can't leave... rrright noww." He adds that last part looking to the side, like a child who's been caught doing something but still tries to deny it.

"Why no?" You ask again. He looks up, seemingly making excuses in his head. "W-Well… Oh! There's a storm coming! A very bad one too, so it would be safer for you to stay here on the ship. If you go now, it would be very dangerous for you all alone in the sea!" He nods with his hands on his hips, as if confirming his own words.

Luckily, you have a valid argument against that. "Wrong." Solaris furrows his brows, his confusion is written all over his face. Lucien still holds you close, as if you would run off as soon as he let's go. His arms are now wrapped around your waist.

"Sea is my home. I lived through many storms before, I'm okay. Storm can break this ship, that danger." You say in a matter-of-fact manner. Solaris' confidence visibly deflates, he turns away and crosses his arms. "You know what, I'm going back to steering before we all crash and die." And just like that, he leaves for the wheelhouse.

You look at Lucien, though you have to lean back so your faces don't touch. "Let me go?" He looks at you for a couple of seconds before deciding to do the exact opposite and hold you closer. "Nah."

That day went by just like the first day you were here, you were under supervision the whole time. There was no way you could escape during the day. Guess you'll just have to try at night.

In the middle of the day, Solaris took you up to the wheelhouse with him as Lucien was going to take a nap (again). He isn't mad or even annoyed with you, that definitely surprised you. You thought he ran off earlier because he was upset you wanted to leave.

"Sorry I left so suddenly earlier, I had to take a breather after that." Ah, so he was upset you wanted to leave. His voice is so soft and gentle though, it almost made you want to stay. Almost. "Please don't leave… Not right now. I-It's too dangerous out there right now, we're getting closer to the storm and-"

"I survive storm." You're not going to repeat the conversation, maybe argument, from earlier, are you? Solaris sighs. "I know… Lucien and I both know you'll most likely survive the storm. But even if you do, you might end up hurt again, and I hate the thought of you being hurt like you were when we found you..."

He wasn't even looking at you, he kept his eyes out to the sea. You knew he didn't need to look in order to keep the ship going in the right direction, he always looked at you while steering. But now he wasn't.

Why... Why does it hurt?

…

You sit there in silence as Solaris steers. He quietly sighs, you don't think you were supposed to hear it, but with how silent it is, it was clear as day.

It stayed that way until Solaris eventually started talking about where they're going. They're visiting someone. "Who?" You tilt your head slightly to the side. Solaris looks at you with that soft smile of his that you've been growing fond of. "Someone very special to us."

You cross your arms. "No answer to question." He looked amused by your reaction. "Don't worry, you'll get a proper introduction when we get there."

From then, you and Solaris talked about things. Nothing in particular, just things. Eventually, Solaris started asking you questions. "Sunshine, how's the chest? Is it too small? Is it giving you splinters?" You raised an eyebrow at that, but he didn't seem to notice. "Chest a little small, but can still fit in good." He smiled. "That's good. When we stop Lucien can get you a bigger chest."

You wanted to ask why Lucien would buy you a bigger chest, but before you could, he asked another question. "Do you like the food here? I know it's mostly fish but you're probably used to that, right?" You nod. "Yes, good food. I eat all the time."

"Is there anything that makes you uncomfortable here?" You could see a glint of worry in his eyes, though he tried to hide it with his smile. "...No water." He turned to you with confusion evident on his face. "Well, what do we do?"

That's when things clicked.

He was trying to fix things and make you more comfortable on the ship so you would stay.

…

"Don't know." You shrug and turn forward to the sea, feeling guilty for wanting to leave now. He sighed and looked forward as well.

You didn't want to hurt them, but you weren't sure whether you wanted to stay on this ship forever. You're a mer, you weren't built for life outside of water. But yet here you were, living out of the water for most of the days.

But you wanted to go back in the sea, you knew you did, so you made up your mind.

You're going to escape tonight.

Or at least that's what you thought. Yeah, turns out life had other plans.

You looked around, the boys was nowhere to be seen, they were probably resting inside their bedroom. You couldn't hear them though, which was weird because they were always talking before switching with each other. But you pushed that thought to the side as you only had one goal in mind.

Escape the ship.

You quickly made you way to the edge of the dock and pulled yourself up, looking down to the sea of freedom just below you. You wasted no time. You leaned forward with hopes that you wouldn't hit your head on the side of the ship as you fell down, but something grabbed your waist before you could feel yourself falling, gasping as it pulled you back.

"And just what do you think you're doing?" Lucien's deep voice sounded from behind you. He pulled you close, practically hugging you. You turn your head to face him. "Sea." He clicked his tongue and furrowed his brows, trying to seem angry, but you could see the hurt in his eyes.

"No." And with that, you were being carried back inside. You thought he would bring you to your room and put you to sleep, but he didn't. Instead, he brought you to the wheelhouse with him, using a spell to keep the ship moving without him having to steer.

"No sleep?" You asked worriedly, maybe he's decided to punish you by keeping you awake. He sighs and holds you closer. "You'll sleep eventually, but you're staying with me." He speaks low, you can't even turn to see his expression because of the distance (or lack thereof) between the both of you, but you could hear something in his voice. It sounded sad. You couldn't hear it well though, so you're not sure.

"Why?" You could just feel his breath on your shoulder. "So you don't leave." There it was, that extra something in his voice. It definitely sounded sad. He leans his head against yours, you've noticed he's been getting more physical with you every day. "But if I in chest to sleep, won't leave." He scoffed. "You could easily leave while I'm not looking. I'm not taking any chances."

You think that's really dumb. He's definitely right, you could easily leave when he isn't looking, and you probably would. But you still think it's dumb.

You say the first thing that comes to your mind. "Could bite you now and leave when you drop me." He pauses for a second then chuckles. You can feel it more than you hear it, and you're not really sure how you feel about that, or how you want to feel about that.

"You used to bite us when you didn't want us in the same room as you before, I'm pretty sure we're used to it by now." He sits you down on the chair next to the wheel and starts steering the ship.

"Thought boat moved by itself?" He put a spell, didn't he? "The boat doesn't move by itself, star. I used a magic spell to put it on autopilot, but only for a minute or two." Magic, right. That's what they used to heal your scars too! "Why not always? Then you never steer." He smiled and shook his head with a sigh. "It doesn't work like that." "Why no?"

"Because." He glanced at you. "If we use too much magic, it wears us out. We'll get very exhausted and faint, and probably die if it's that extreme." Your eyes widened, you did not like the sound of that. "Die?" You tried to make your voice sound less worried than you actually were, but you're not sure it worked. He shrugged. "Probably."

Okay, so, that's a no for spending more time with them. That's fine actually, it would've made it harder to leave the ship anyway. You still didn't like the thought of them dying though.

He smiled and patted your head. "Don't worry, we don't use a lot of magic, so we won't die from that." Well, that was somehow more comforting than you think it should've been. At least you don't have to worry about them dying from magic though.

The rest of the night, you and Lucien just talked, the subject didn't matter, you talked about everything. He would take every chance he had to ruffle your hair, boop your nose, hug you, and just be physical with you. You didn't really mind, if anything, you really enjoyed it.

You talked for what seemed like 7 hours, but was probably only 3, as sleep was taking over you. Lucien put the ship on autopilot again when he noticed you yawning.

"You tired now?" You tried to blink away the sleepiness, but that only made it worse. "No, brain just slow." You wanted to talk more with him, but you knew you would fall asleep any minute now.

He chuckled and picked you up. "Oh really?" You were too tired to fight back. "Mmyeah." Your eyes closed on their own (traitors) and you couldn't open them no matter how hard you tried. "You sure? Because you seem very tired to me." His voice was closer than before and you felt yourself being put in something. You instantly knew it was your chest, because where else would they put you?

"Goodnight starfish." That was the last thing you heard before you drifted off to sleep.

[chessb0r3d]

What I mean when I do not control the hyperfixation.

[nondivisable]

I need to say something and I need y'all to be calm

if it isn't actively bad or harmful, no representation should be called "too simple" or "too surface level"

I have a whole argument for this about the barbie movie but today I wanna talk about a show called "the babysitters club" on Netflix

(obligatory disclaimer that I watched only two episodes of this show so if it's super problematic I'm sorry) (yes. I know it's based on a book, this is about the show)

this is a silly 8+ show that my 9 year old sister is watching and it manages to tackle so many complex topics in such an easy way. basic premise is these 13 year old girls have a babysitting agency.

in one episode, a girl babysits this transfem kid. the approach is super simple, with the kid saying stuff like "oh no, those are my old boy clothes, these are my girl clothes". they have to go to the doctor and everyone is calling the kid by her dead name and using he/him and this 13 year old snaps at like a group of doctors and they all listen to her. it's pure fantasy and any person versed in trans theory would point out a bunch of mistakes.

but after watching this episode, my little sister started switching to my name instead of my dead name and intercalating he/him pronouns when talking about me.

one of the 13 years old is a diabetic and sometimes her whole personality is taken over by that. but she has this episode where she pushes herself to her limit and passes out and talks about being in a coma for a while because of not recognizing the limits of her disability.

and this allowed my 9 year old sister to understand me better when I say "I really want to play with you but right now my body physically can't do that" (I'm disabled). she has even asked me why I'm pushing myself, why I'm not using my crutches when I complain about pain.

my mom is 50 years old and watching this show with my sister. she said the episode about the diabetic girl helped her understand me and my disability better. she grew up disabled as well, but she was taught to shut up and power through.

yes, silly simple representation can annoy you if you've read thousands of pages about queer liberation or disability radical thought, but sometimes things are not for you.

[wishful-seeker]

I would like to see more people talk about how jobs treat disabled employees.

I used to prep, wash dishes, and cook at mellow mushroom. I had chronic pain that wasn't NEARLY as bad as it is today, but it was still very debilitating. I told my employer "i cannot stand more than 4 to 6 hours. I CANNOT do shifts longer than this due to my illness." And even though i made my boundaries VERY clear, everyday i worked it was 8 hours at the least and 10 or 12 at the most. I would go up to my manager and say "look i really need to leave, my shift is over, my chronic pain is killing me." And he'd say "we really need to here, you HAVE to push through." And so i did, and after one, ONE month of that job my crps got incredibly worse to the point where i could no longer walk my dog around the block which was .5 miles. I quit, and that was FOUR years ago, and ever since that day I HAVE BEEN BEDRIDDEN AND HAVE TO USE A WHEELCHAIR. It is my biggest regret in life.

My best friend who has seen my whole journey has recently developed undiagnosed chronic pain, and she is in the EXACT same scenario i was 4 years ago. Busting her ass at a pizza place with extreme pain that hurts her so much she tells me "im in so much pain i don't even feel like a person." She doesn't feel LUCID. And her manager and coworkers are saying the same thing "if you don't help us you will let us down, we'll be in the shit."

That job thats hurting you isn't fucking worth it. I promise you no money is worth losing all your physical abilities and never getting them back. Your coworkers and boss do not give a shit about you, so don't you dare suffer for them. They will never understand your struggle and they will never try. They truly think being understaffed is worse than whatever pain you experience. They would rather you permanently damage yourself than inconvenience them. FUCK THEM. DON'T FUCKING DO IT!

[hoaxghost]

Girl failed the med school exam like 8 times I dont think she'd do all too well when faced with the burnt crisp of her captain

[boxheadpaint]

wish the human body had like a crash log or something so I could pin shit down. Why am I having a sudden spike of anxiety when I’m just sitting here? Well it looks like there’s a conflict here between my medication and the better foliage mod

[i-say-stupid-things]

what is it with able bodied people saying “get well soon” after you say that you’re chronically ill?? like? i am not gonna? and i once literally responded with “i’m not gonna, it’s chronic, as in permanent.” and they went like “oh well, hope you get better!” like bro 💀

[beefharlot]

[lupusbaby]

Say it with me! Wheelchairs aren’t sad! Mobility aids aren’t sad! Mobility aids are instruments of freedom!

[matkatkitkat]

i started playing Disco Elysium and last night (the same day i started playing) i woke up to my stomach hurting so bad that in my delirium i thought it had to do with something from the game.

and looked it up…

i thought this was completely normal until waking up later after the pain was gone.

[bl0w-m3]