#this was so much fun to write i love u lesbians

[tyungelic]

★ love taste

★ — pairing. fem!beomgyu x fem!reader

★ — summary. finals week is over and you and your best friend go out for ice cream, but you've got something big to tell her that might just change the trajectory of your friendship.

★ — tags. non-idol au, college au, coming out, internalized homophobia (implied), car sex, oral (fem receiving)

★ — word count. 1.9k words

★ — author’s note. got this request from an anon and i was so excited to write it! "we love you lesgyu" we all say in unison. thanks for reading <3

leaving your university’s testing room feels like finally escaping from prison. you head downstairs and make a beeline for beomgyu’s car as soon as you see it park in the front of your school’s main building. as soon as you slide into the passenger seat, you’re enveloped in the warmth of your best friend’s car and the smell of her woodsy cologne.

“how’d you do?”

“i think i did okay,” you say, shrugging off your coat. “i can’t do any worse than the guy before me who turned in a blank exam.”

“completely blank?” beomgyu echoes in surprise.

you nod, “nothing on it but his name. it can’t get worse than that.”

“no kidding.”

you connect your phone to the car’s bluetooth and put on the playlist that you and beomgyu made together years ago that you both still add onto every now and then. there’s no particular theme to it, just songs you think she would like and vice-versa. beauty school by deftones plays through the speakers and you zone out for a bit until beomgyu calling your name brings you back to the present moment.

“hm?”

“you texted me last night saying you wanted to talk about something,” beomgyu says, and your heart starts to beat faster.

“oh, y-yeah…”

you’ve had sneaking suspicions about being attracted to women for years now. the signs were easy to dismiss at first— feeling warm all over when a girl calls you pretty, staring at scantily clad banners of models at lingerie stores for a little too long, developing crushes on all the female villains in all the cartoons you watched growing up.

the signs became difficult to ignore once they became specific to beomgyu. her laugh, her hair, her piercings, the comfort you feel around her.

you’ve been by beomgyu’s side for every one of her piercings— industrial, helix, and orbital conch on both ears, and her tongue piercing.

these feelings came to a head when she got her snakebite piercings a month ago. she was reading the aftercare instructions to you out loud so you’d hold her accountable for cleaning them up.

“no kissing or oral,” she read. “there go our weekend plans.”

you knew it was just a joke, but the thought of doing something like that with her flooded your entire body with warmth. you’d been attracted to her for a while now, but since then, your mind has been filled with thoughts of kissing her, dragging your tongue over her snakebites and the sensation of her tongue piercing in your mouth.

“i-i think i like girls,” you confess quickly, the words clumsily rushing to leave your mouth.

beomgyu blanches, her eyes wide.

“woah, what? since when?”

you pause for a little, “i… i don’t know. maybe since always? i never really liked boys growing up and i’ve always felt more comfortable around other girls.”

“hmm, okay,” beomgyu says with a nod. “sounds pretty gay to me. what made you realize it? is there someone you like?”

you fall silent and clear your throat, worried that the silence will give away what’s really on your mind. you laugh it off nervously and try to change the topic.

“is she someone i know?” she asks.

“gyu…”

“is she in one of your clubs? like the crochet club? or one of your pen pals?”

you remain quiet, discomfort steadily increasing.

“is she… in the car with you right now?” she teases.

“gyu, seriously,” you respond tersely and, in that moment, you can just feel the vibe in the car shift. beomgyu swallows and her grip tightens on the steering wheel. the rest of the ride to your favorite ice cream place is quiet. she pulls through the drive-thru and orders for the both of you. when you pull up to the second window, you fish through your coat pocket for your wallet, but beomgyu quickly hands her card over to the cashier.

“i got it,” she says curtly, and hands you your sundae. you pull into your usual spot in the parking lot, still awkwardly quiet as you eat your respective ice creams in silence.

“sorry,” beomgyu says. “for earlier, i mean. didn’t mean to push you, i was just curious.”

“no, i’m sorry. i didn’t mean to snap at you like that, i’m just not used to the whole ‘openly liking girls’ thing. you’re the first person i’ve told.”

“makes sense that you’d come out to the only lesbo you know first,” beomgyu says with a chuckle. “you don’t have to be ashamed or embarrassed by it. i know that’s easier said than done, but really. it takes bravery to come out. i’m proud of you.”

“thanks.”

there’s another silence, though it’s much less awkward this time. however, your feelings are still weighing heavily on your heart. you swallow, trying to shake off your nervousness.

“actually, there is someone i like,” you say, fiddling with the sleeve of your sweater. beomgyu’s ears perk up and she turns to look at you.

“oh yeah?”

“mhm…”

beomgyu looks at you expectantly and you feel your anxiety ramp back up again.

“well? tell me about her.”

you hum and bite your bottom lip. “f-for starters, she’s cool. like, really cool.”

she hums and nods, listening carefully. you wonder how many hints you can drop before she realizes it’s her.

“she’s protective and strong, but she’s a big softie,” you continue.

“—wait, you’ve got something right here,” beomgyu reaches a hand out and brushes her thumb against the corner of your bottom lip. your heart jumps and you don’t know if it’s you who leaned in or beomgyu who pulled you in first, but after a shared lingering glance, your lips connect. your eyes flutter closed and her hand moves to cradle your cheek.

“bet i’m a better kisser than her,” beomgyu mutters against your lips before leaning in to kiss you again.

you hear the click of a seat belt and your eyes widen a bit as beomgyu crawls over the console to straddle you. her warm hands finds their way to your cheeks as she softly holds your face before kissing you with a little more pressure this time. you can feel her snakebites press against your lips and your moan at the contact of the cold metal. her tongue swipes across your bottom lip and slots it into your mouth. the feeling of her tongue piercing against your tongue is everything you’ve ever dreamed of.

her hands travel down your neck to grope you through your sweater, then slide under to make contact with your soft skin.

“can she touch you like this?” she whispers against your skin. “i bet she can’t. bet she can’t make you make those pretty little sounds either, hm?”

she kisses across your jaw and down your neck, and you bite your bottom lip to hold back a moan at first, then to stifle a laugh. your body shakes with mirth as beomgyu continues to kiss down your body.

“what? what’s so funny?”

“gyu, oh my god.”

“what?”

“gyu, you’re her,” you clarify with a laugh. “you’re the one i like.”

beomgyu fully pops her head up to look at you and you resist another giggle as she looks at you with wide puppydog eyes.

“i’m… huh? it’s me?”

“yes, beomgyu. i like you.”

“well, fuck… why didn’t you say anything earlier?”

“i tried, but you kept interrupting!”

you both pause to look at each other for a bit before breaking into fits of laughter. she leans in to kiss you, lips soft against yours.

“in case you couldn’t tell, i like you too,” beomgyu says. “and i really wanna eat you out, like right now in this parking lot.”

your heart skips a beat and you swallow back a moan. you hum and stroke your chin, feigning as if you’re deep in thought.

“say please,” you say and beomgyu looks at you, eyes darkening when you thread your fingers through her hair and tug on it.

“fuck, lemme eat your pussy, babe. please? wanna see your panties, see how wet you are for me.” you nod your head and reach down to move your seat all the way back.

beomgyu hovers over you, her necklace dangling just over your face. you both pause, taking a moment to drink each other in.

“you’re so pretty,” she mutters and leans in to kiss you, tugging your skirt down to your knees. she kisses down your body and dips her head to kiss your inner thigh. she runs her hand up your torso to squeeze your chest and tugs your panties to the side and kisses your pussy.

“oh my god…” you moan as her tongue makes contact with your clit. she laps at your slit, her tongue flat against your pussy as she tastes every part of you. her tongue piercing makes contact with your clit and you gasp.

“oh, just like that,” you grip beomgyu’s hair tighter and she moans in turn.

“wasn’t familiar with your game, y/n,” beomgyu says with a chuckle. “keep telling me what to do, i wanna make you feel good.”

“use your fingers, please.” you squeeze your eyes shut when you feel beomgyu’s middle and index fingers slide into you, thrusting in and out slowly then pushing in all the way, curling to hit a particular spot that has your back arching off of the car seat.

“is that good? yeah?” she asks, a satisfied sigh leaving her lips when you clench around her fingers. “you’re so fucking wet, holy shit…” your thighs tremble as she sucks your clit into her mouth and continues to fuck you with her fingers.

you’re dizzied with pleasure, the car filled with the wet, sloppy sounds of beomgyu fingering and making out with your pussy. whimpers and moans leave your lips as you feel your climax getting closer, desperately humping and grinding against beomgyu’s face. her moans against your pussy are muffled as your entire body stills and you ride out your orgasm.

beomgyu pulls back and gives you a lazy smile, her chin and cheeks wet and glistening.

“look at that,” she shows off how your juices are dripping down her forearm. she maintains eye contact with you as she licks her forearm and fingers clean.

“mm, come here,” you command softly and she lowers herself on top of you and kisses you, open mouthed. you can taste yourself on her lips, slightly sweet and salty.

“hm, see how good you taste? i could have you cum on my face forever.”

you feel yourself get shy and bury your face into her neck.

“what, now you’re shy again?” beomgyu giggles.

“quit teasing me,” you whine and she kisses your forehead. you lay there together for a minute, basking in each other’s warmth.

beomgyu pulls away and returns to straddling you as she helps you clean up using the spare napkins in her cup-holder and pulls your panties and skirt back up. she crawls back into the driver's seat and watches as you move your seat back up.

“so, i dunno about you,” she starts. “but i wanna head to my place so you can keep bossing me around and i can fuck you properly. how’s that sound?”

“sounds perfect,” you say with a smile. beomgyu smiles back at you and grabs your chin to kiss you.

“so damn cute,” she coos.

[arsenicflame]

i lure you in with my incredible izzy hands takes and then i strike by spamming your dash with lesbians youve never heard of

[look-at-the-stars-tonight]

I ran this morning AND wrote some AND made art and I’m so proud of me

[minswriting]

How do you think car sex would go with each of the characters?

nsfw | mdni | i only chose a select few characters that would actually do it

aaron - car sex with aaron is so much fun because he doesn’t usually lose control where he needs to pull over and just fuck you in the back seat. so when it does happen, it’s mind blowing. he’s rough with it but simply for times sake. and you guys definitely fuck in the black SUVs after a rough case because you both need to let out steam. ( @aureatelys pls write more car sex with aaron thank u)

luke - so as i’ve stated, this man loves sex with you anywhere imaginable. so my favorite thought? the two of you just finished a nice dinner at a nice restaurant but you had been teasing luke all night long. and so, when you’re in the car, you have your hand on luke’s thigh as he’s driving. and the moment your hand grazes his cock, he’s pulling over, parking the car and moving his seat back so that you can give him head on the side of the road.

spencer - spencer has a pretty old car canonically so my favorite thought is that it breaks down while you guys are in the middle of nowhere. and after calling triple A, you’re both just waiting to see what to do. and so you distract him by pulling him into the back seat and riding spencer into oblivion as you guys wait patiently. @beenreidingaboutyou i think you want to write something like this 😏😏 so now you’re legally obligated to

emily - emily would be the type to be driving with one hand like the lesbian she is and her other hand would be in your pants, fingering your cunt or rubbing your clit while she’s paying attention to the road. you’re just moaning next to her while she’s fingering you so good simply because she just wanted to play with your pussy.

[lovelettersfromluna]

Not Strong Enough

Summary: Rule number 1 of being best friends with a vampire. Never let them drink your blood.

an: I HEAR YOU ALL YELLING AT ME IM SORRY!! This took entirely too long to get to you guys, but it’s here now! Better late than never right?? Is this heavily inspired by twilight? Yes. Did I use a BoyGenius song as the title? It’s lesbian smut, obviously. Is Ellie going to be a brooding depressed vampire? Oh hell yeah. I hope you all like this! I’m a slut for anything supernatural so this was obvi very fun for me to write. As always, love you all so so much! Thanks for reading 🤍

Warnings: SMUT!!, MDNI!!, scissoring (if ur mad I’m doing another scissoring fic….idk what to tell you it’s hot), messy kissing, Ellie bites reader (outside of blood sucking), mentions of marking, mentions of bruises, mentions of blood, Ellie is kind of insufferable for a small bit but I promise it gets better, please lmk if I missed anything!

Read part 1 here!!

Ellie knew it was a bad idea from the very beginning.

She knew that she was too weak for you, even outside of sucking your blood. You were too fucking good for her, too much of a dream for Ellie to go and fuck up like she did.

Truth be told, Ellie expected all of it. She expected to get utterly addicted to you, she expected the blurred lines of your relationship to become even more blurred when she began sucking you dry of your life source, she even expected herself to lose control when she was in the act, humping and grinding your soft body like a wild fucking animal as if she had no control over herself.

She expected all of it, every single aspect that came with the territory, she knew was coming.

But the hardest part of it all? Was leaving you completely.

Because she knew the moment she felt herself lose control while she was on top of you that night in your apartment, she knew she needed to leave you. She needed to abandon you and your friendship for the greater good, for your sake.

Ellie knew that she wasn’t good for you, and you weren’t good for her. But that didn’t make the pain of not seeing you any less.

She thought she’d be able to do it at first, but the texts from you only reminded her of how much she loved your company, how obsessed she was with simply being around you.

She wound frown every time her phone went off, a low groan leaving her lips when she lifted it up to look at her screen, only to see it was from you.

Ellieeeeee

Where are you?

Haven’t seen u in the longest :((

Ellie can practically hear your pout in the way you text her. She knows you too well, and she knows that you aren’t handling her sudden disappearance well.

At this point, it’s been about two months since Ellie has seen you last? Maybe three? She stopped keeping count because it was driving her insane. It wasn’t even the blood supply that she missed, Ellie would go hungry ten times over, dying from starvation if it meant she could be around you without feeling she was robbing you of your life, ruining things that you were meant to experience because she was too fucking selfish.

Ellie misses you, and it pains her that she hasn’t been able to have you in so long.

Well…not entirely at least. She knew she’d lose her mind entirely if she couldn’t at least be around you for a few moments, so her usual nighttime visits become a bit more frequent when she decides she can’t be around you anymore. She’s a lot more careful when she does it though, knowing how sensitive you were to her presence. It was almost unbelievable how easily you’d woken up to her in your room in the past. She doesn’t know how she’d explain things if you woke up now, not having seen her in so long. So she’s extra aware of how much noise she makes.

Seeing you sleep is almost enough to keep Ellie’s demons at bay, the ones that screamed for you, yearned for you to be by her side, to have your warm skin pressed against her much colder one.

As per usual, she’s scaling up the brick wall of your apartment building, making her way up to your bedroom like thief in the night. You continue to leave your window open every night, and it breaks Ellie’s heart because she knows you’re doing it for her, most likely hoping she slips into your window as she usually does.

It means Ellie needs to be even more careful than she anticipated.

She doesn’t even dare to sit on your bed, standing in the corner of your room as she watches your chest rise and fall. She doesn’t even breathe, scared that the sound of it will wake you.

And she desperately wants to reach out and let her fingers run along your soft skin, desperate for the feeling that you always brought her when you’re near. It makes her fists balk at her sides as she practically itches to feel you, fighting back any and every thought that she had to touch you, if even for a moment.

But she doesn’t. Instead, he stays with you just before the sun rises. She knows it’s risky, and she knows she shouldn’t do it in the event that you wake up and see her. Even if she’s fast enough to dart out of your room before you can even call her name or turn the lights on, you’re too smart for that. You’d know what was happening before she can even begin to gaslight you into thinking it was simply a dream.

She can’t help herself, not when it comes to you. Seeing you sleep satisfies the burning feeling in her chest, the one that yearns so desperately for you, it’s enough to make her knees weak. It’s almost like you’re capable of evoking the same feelings she had when she was a human, when she was weak and stupid and felt nervous around women. Until you showed up, Ellie hadn’t experienced those feelings in a long time, she’d almost forgotten about them.

You always remind her though.

Like when she’s about to leave you, knowing she’s cutting it too close to the time you’re going to wake up and start your day. Her footsteps are practically silence, even against the old, creaky floorboards of your apartment.

She’s almost out of your window, one leg outside as she plants her foot against the fire escape when she hears it. You began mumbling in your sleep, tossing a bit, clearly bothered by whatever dream you were having. While this should’ve been the clearest sign for Ellie to leave as quickly as possible before your eyes opened a bit to see her, she doesn’t. Instead, she stays sat on your window sill, simply watching as you turn to face her, eyes still closed as you pout in your sleep.

If Ellie had a heart that was still beating, she’s sure it would’ve stopped. Because suddenly your mumbling is just clear enough for her to hear.

“Ellie….” You sigh out softly, barely loud enough for the undead girl to hear, but she does. Regardless of the city waking up below her, or the sound of your ceiling fan creaking about, she hears it. It makes her frown deeply, swallowing back the intense whimper that threatens to escape and echo throughout your room.

She isn’t sure if she’s ever left your room so quickly, the girls eyes going wide as she made the familiar path down the side of your building to your side walk.

Even when she got home that night, the vampire practically breaking the front door down of her apartment to get in, she couldn’t get the sound of your voice uttering her name so sweetly, calling out for her even in the depths of sleep that you were in, tugged so deeply by your dreams, you were still calling out for her.

Ellie knew that night, that she had to stay away from her. For both your sake, and her own.

And she’s right, because you were suffering just as much as Ellie was.

Ellie’s presence was always scarce, and while it bothered you a bit before you learned what she was, it made sense. She was a creature of the night, something that seemingly only existed in storybooks, coming to life and living the strange lifestyle that she did.

But you knew immediately that this was different.

The morning after you saw Ellie last left a bitter taste in your mouth. As you woke up that morning, your neck sore with the bruises of Ellie’s lips on your skin, body far too drained and tired even after a night of a sleep that was just a bit too deep. It was similar to almost all the times Ellie had drank from you the night prior.

So, why did you feel so bad that morning?

You knew that you didn’t owe Ellie anything, that you were the one to suggest this in the first place, so there truly wasn’t any room for you to be upset for reasons unknown. What were you even supposed to say to her? That you had a weird feeling? One that you desperately wanted her to relieve by telling you it was all okay?

As much as you wanted to, you knew things between you and Ellie weren’t like that.

You were her friend. You were just her friend, and as much as you wanted more, you knew deep down that if Ellie truly wanted you that way, she would’ve made you she’s a long time ago.

And maybe that’s what bothers you the most when this little dry spell occurs, because the sudden lack of her presence leaves you entirely too much time to dwell on things, wondering what it was that you did wrong, what you could have possibly said to create this sudden rift between the two of you.

Ellie had always been flirtatious, flashing that pretty smile in your direction that made you weak in the knees, calling you sweet names that made your heart beat faster. She was practically dangling it all right in front of your face, the frequent touches, the late night visits at the foot of your bed, all this time when you have her the benefit of the doubt, chalking it all up to her simply wanting to see you and nothing more than that, suddenly made no sense to you.

With time came confusion, and with confusion came anger, desperate to understand why she left you, what you had done to possibly make her so scarce so suddenly. And once the third month had hit without seeing Ellie, you were furious, feeling as though you had one choice and one choice only.

To find Ellie, and get the answers from her yourself.

You don’t go to Ellie’s apartment, not usually at least.

Ellie always told you she liked hanging out at your place, going on and on about how warm and cozy it was being there. She’d never admit it to you because she didn’t want you to think she was a freak, but being in a place that smelled so heavily like you made her brain go absolutely insane.

You’ve been there maybe a handful of times, sometimes heading to her place after a night out, or even stopping by whenever you were in the neighborhood. Bottom line was, your apartment was the designated hang out spot for you and Ellie.

Regardless though, you remember how to get there like it’s written on the back of your hand. You thought about Ellie’s apartment a lot, loving how much the space reflected her. You always wished you had the chance to stay there more often.

You can’t think about that though, not now. Not when you’re storming down the expensive halls of her complex down to her door, and landing a heavy fist on the door. All you can truly care about now, is seeing Ellie and demanding an explanation for her sudden disappearance.

And it’s all so unlike you, so out of your character. If it was anyone else, you’d let it go, giving yourself a few days to sulk before forgetting about it all together and simply moving on. Maybe it’s because it’s Ellie, and maybe it’s because you feel a tad bit used after being her personal buffet for the last few times you’d been around her, just for her to up and leave.

It’s most definitely that. You just don’t want to admit it in fears of sounding selfish.

You land another firm knock on her door when she doesn’t answer in time, feeling yourself grow angrier as the moments pass.

Soon, she’s finally opening the door. The image of her nearly takes your breath away.

Because Ellie always looks beautiful, perhaps it’s the fact that you haven’t seen her in some time, but she looks fucking ethereal standing before you. So tall, so confident, her eyes so fucking dark, piercing through your very soul as she stares down at you. Her lips look like rubies compared to her cold, pale skin, so plump and kissable.

All you can think about is the way they felt pressed against your throat, and it makes you lift your hand to press against the two small circular scars on your neck.

Ellie frowns deeply as she eyes you, eyebrows furrowed and expression virtually unreadable.

“What are you doing here” she mumbles out, shifting on her feet awkwardly. Her question alone sets the fire off in your chest again, making you seethe as you take a deep inhale before responding.

“Are you kidding me Ellie?” You practically spit out, staring up at the girl in disbelief.

She lets out a soft sigh, her tattooed hand coming up to rub her face roughly before it moves up to rub through her hair.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about” she manages before she tries shutting her door in your face. “You can’t be here” she mumbles out softly, the girl fully expecting to be able to shut the door.

You however, have other plans.

You’re quick to press your hand against the door, stopping her from closing it before you practically force yourself between it. Ellie’s eyes widen a bit at this, not used to seeing you so forward.

Soon, you’re pushing yourself into her apartment, your palm pressing against your forehead as you began pacing back and forth Ellie’s lavish apartment.

“I don’t…I don’t understand you Ellie. Is it something I said? Did I do something? If so please enlighten me I beg you” you blurt out, all of the words fumbling out of your mouth in one breath.

Ellie frowns deeply as she watches you pace back and forth her apartment, her eyebrows furrowed. She can truly see the damaged shes caused when she sees you like this, because it was much easier to watch you when you slept, so peaceful and unaware of the troubles that came with her absence. She knew you were going to blame yourself, and as much as she knew she couldn’t allow you to do that to yourself, she knew staying away was even more important.

Seeing you like this was possibly the hardest thing Ellie had to ever endure.

You don’t stop there, taking advantage of the lack of a response from Ellie to continue ranting.

“Is it because of the blood thing? If so I’m sorry. I am so fucking sorry for simply caring enough to make sure you didn’t die from starvation or whatever it is that happens to you when you don’t eat. I’m sorry for making sure that you were okay, if that was so wrong please tell me…” your words trail off as you let out an exasperated sigh, your feelings and emotions becoming far too much as you practically sob out to her.

But then you’re pausing, your chest rising and falling quickly as you struggle to catch your breath. Ellie isn’t entirely sure why you’ve suddenly stopped, your back towards her as you stand there, doing god knows what.

When you finally turn around, your eyes are red and your cheeks are wet with tears.

“Were you just….using me? As your personal fucking blood bag?” Your words are shaky as you hold back another sob, your fists balled down at your sides.

Ellie freezes when you say this, because this is exactly what she was fucking afraid of.

It was a common theme throughout…her people. Vampires were notoriously alluring, seducing countless innocent and clueless victims into being their personal meal. The humans were almost always oblivious to what was being done to them, vampires often times using this to their advantage to keep them under their spell for as long as possible. It would most commonly been done in a way that made the humans believe the vampires loved them, dangling them by a thread as they promised them a life of eternity together, to live in immortality, side by side until the end of times. It almost never ended that way though, the vampires would suck and suck and suck until one day they went a bit too far, and their obedient human keeled over and died.

Ellie never wanted things to be that way with you.

She never even wanted you to think it was that way. She wanted you to understand that this was entirely up to you, and it could stop whenever you wanted it to. It’s why she constantly voiced to you that this was still a factor right before she fed off of you. Ellie would rather die than use you for a source of food, because truthfully you were far too good for that, too fucking pure to be used as something as low as a food source.

So when the words leave your lips, Ellie sees red.

Shes in front of you in less than a second, towering over you and staring down into your tear soaked eyes. Her nostrils are flared as she tries to hold back from tearing down her entire apartment complex around the both of you.

“You can’t possibly be stupid enough to think I’d ever use you for something so low..” her voice is low, and there’s a gravel in it that makes your core tighten and your chest bloom with something you can’t quite place, a feeling that can only be shelved in your mind right next to where Ellie takes place.

You don’t hack one, hot tears continuing to spill from your eyes as you stare at her with furrowed eyebrows.

“It makes sense….get your fix and then leave me like I’m nothing…this was probably your plan all along” you grit out.

Ellie licks her lips, knowing that you’re hurting just as much as she is, and your words are simply coming from a place of confusion, desperate to understand why she did what she did to you, why she left without a trace.

She leans in, her face a mere inches from yours. You can smell her minty breath wafting onto your face, and it’s bizarre because even that has a slight chill to it. It makes your cheeks cold, and it makes you want to reach out and warm her up.

“I would rather die a million deaths before using you for that…you and I both know this” she seethes out.

And it makes you whimper, because Ellie’s always been so fucking intense, so poetic. It makes your insides flip upside down, and your eyebrows knit together as you struggle to hold back a whimper.

Your features soften as you continue to cry in front of her. “Then why did you leave me…” you whisper out to the girl.

It breaks her heart how desperate you are for this. Not even for her, but simply for answers. All you want is to understand why she left, what you did to make her abruptly disappear without a single word.

Ellie’s eyes flutter shut for a moment, her pink tongue darting out to lick her plush lips before she finally speaks.

“I’ve never…been so weak for someone…in my entire life” she breaths out.

It surely isn’t what you’re expecting her to say. You think she’s going to say she’s gotten enough of you, or she just couldn’t handle having someone like you around. Hell, you were even beginning to think she was trying to cover up all her roots here and start somewhere else.

“I always have been…from the moment I fucking laid eyes on you, I knew you weren’t good for me…you’re too good for me” she continues, her eyes fluttering open as she finally stares down into yours. You can finally look into yours as you blink away the tears that are pooling in your eyes and blurring your vision, and it allows you to see the pain in her eyes, just how much she’d been struggling with all of this.

“It isn’t even your blood…it made it worse, yes…but just being around you is like…it’s like a fucking drug to me. You give me this feeling that I can’t…I can’t even begin to describe how fucking euphoric you make me feel” each of her words sounds like a plea, a plea for you to let her go, to unhand her from the death grip you have on her.

“And suddenly I’m always in your apartment, and you’re offering yourself to me and it’s like a dream come true and I feel like a fucking monster when I’m on top of you, sucking you dry of your fucking blood” it’s her turn to start pacing, running her hands through her hair as she settles one of her hands on her hip, she moves slower than you were, simply voicing the struggles she’s seemed to have with you from the moment you met.

She finally turns towards you, and she’s slowing make her way to where you’ve been standing this entire time. When she’s right back where she was, stood right in front of you, she takes your hand into hers ever so gently. It’s enough to make you flinch, how cold she is in contrast to your hot skin. She sighs, bringing your hand up to cradle her cheek, and her eyes flutter shut, nearly rolling back as she presses a soft kiss to your palm.

“I’m not strong enough for you…I don’t think I ever will be” she finally admits, and it’s like she’s not only admitting it to you, but to herself as well.

You hold back a whine as she kisses your palm, her lips so soft, so gentle with you.

“Then…then don’t be…why can’t you just let things happen” you sigh out as you stare up at her, in awe as the girl leaned into your touch as if it were her life line.

You aren’t even entirely sure what you’re asking her for, what this so called ‘thing’ is that she won’t let happen. Is it the feeding you’re alluding to? An act of true platonic kindness? Or are you asking for more, are you begging for something that Ellie has deprived you both of for the sake of the greater good?

Both you and Ellie have these same questions running through your minds.

She chuckles dryly against your skin, shaking her head as her hand gives your wrists a gentle squeeze.

“You aren’t even sure what it is you’re asking for…not from someone like me” she admits, eyes opening as she finally looks down at you again.

“I can’t…give you the things you deserve. I’m not capable of being the perfect person for you, not when I am what I am” her words are like venom on her tongue, the girl utterly disgusted with the monster that she became against her own will, the hell that she was forced to live over and over again with no foreseeable end.

“The only thing I can do, is take from you…I take and take and take….” Her words trail off, a soft frown on her lips before she finally looks at you once again.

“Until I’ve taken everything that you have…and there is no more of you to offer” she whispers out, as if the mere thought of a world without you pains her so much to say, she barely wants to say it.

You lick your lips, your eyes searching hers before you quickly shake your head.

“Do you want me? The same way that I want you?” You question carefully, fearful of what it is that she might say, worried that you’d been reading things entirely wrong, even after Ellie basically confessed how utterly obsessed she is with you.

She smirks softly, humming lowly as she gently brings your hand down to her lips, pressing another gentle kiss to it.

“It’s like I’ve waited my entire life for you, baby….saying that I want you would be an understatement” she chuckles out softly.

And you aren’t entirely sure how it even gets to this point, because you marched over to Ellie’s apartment with a purpose, that purpose being to yell at her and get the answers you deserved. But suddenly you’re standing in front of her, and your heart is exploding with so many different emotions and feelings, all of them for Ellie, and she’s just confessed to you that she wants you like you want her.

And you have no choice, but to kiss her.

It catches Ellie off guard, a soft whine leaving her lips as accepts your lips with gratitude, her arms moving down to drape along your waist as she pulls you closer.

It’s everything she’s ever dreamt it would be. Your lips soft and sweet against her own, your skin so warm and inviting, making her drink you up, fueling her with the warmth she’s lacked since the day she died. But despite how good it feels, she knows this is wrong, and it goes against everything she said she’d do for your sake.

Ellie breaks way first, watching as you struggle to catch your breath from the intense kiss. She’s quick to stop you from leaning in again, her hand cupping your face as she stares into your eyes.

“Angel…we can’t…I told you, I’m no good for you” she sighs out, the words paining her to even say.

You give her a soft pout, your arms wrapping around her shoulders loosely as you press your warm body against hers.

“I trust you Ellie….I know that you’d never hurt me” you sigh out softly as you stare into her eyes, your hand coming up to tuck a strand of her soft hair behind her ear.

“We don’t have to do the blood thing…but I just…can’t we just give us a try?” Your eyes are wide as you speak, eager to feel Ellie’s lips against yours again, even if for a moment. You don’t even take into consideration that she could say no, that she could turn you around and throw you out of her apartment without another word, doubling down on what she said she’d do with you.

But as Ellie said before, she’s just too fucking weak for you.

And hearing you ask for it, ask for her, it has her stomach in knots, and she feels like no matter what it is you ask her, she couldn’t possibly say no to you.

“What are you doing to me…” she sighs softly before she leans in to kiss you again, reciprocating the passion and heat that you gave her mere moments ago. You whine against her, your hands sliding back to tug at her hair, keeping her close as your lips moves against hers, your warm tongue sliding against hers.

“Missed you so much…” you sigh against her, and it makes Ellie groan softly as she nods, hands sliding down to grip your waist as she walks you back towards her bedroom, lips never leaving yours.

“Missed you more than anything, angel” she mumbles against your lips as she presses her palm against her bedroom door behind you, pushing it open and leading you further inside.

Ellie’s bedroom smells like her. It’s dark, and cold but oh so comforting. You practically sigh against her lips when you feel her laying your body down against her black silk sheets, the expensive material like butter on your skin. It makes your senses go in overdrive, Ellie’s hands caressing your skin, roaming around your body as her tongue rubs against yours in a dirty, passionate kiss.

“Don’t know how long I’ve waited to have you like this…” she sighs softly, her lips breaking away from yours to kiss along your jaw, down to your throat. You don’t miss the way Ellie kisses the now faded marks of her teeth on your neck, licking the skin softly before she sucks into it, sure to leave dark marks in the morning.

“Missed marking you up baby….” She hums against you, drinking in the sweet moans that leave your mouth, the sound alone like music to her ears.

Your mind is fuzzy, almost blank besides the thoughts of Ellie that stood in the forefront of your brain. It was like she was filling you up entirely, making you almost overwhelmed with her. Her scent, her cold skin, her soft hands, all of it was almost too much, a combination of sensory overload that kissed your skin so deliciously.

Soon she’s kissing down your body, practically worshiping her as her lips work on your soft skin. Her hands are pushing up your t-shirt, kissing your stomach and your ribcage until she’s tugging you up a bit to skillfully slip your shirt over your head. You’re bare before her, her lips matching onto your pebbled nipples as her tattooed hands work on your soft shorts, tugging them down your legs.

You don’t miss the way her tongue swirls around your nipple before letting go with a pop, lips moving up to nip at your collar bone with her flat teeth. Hard enough to leave a mark, but gentle enough to not break skin.

You giggle softly, bending your legs back to help as she tugs your shorts and panties off. She’s slotting herself between your legs, humming softly as she gives you a smirk.

“Something funny baby?” She questions before leaning in to press another kiss to the corner of your lips. You nod, a dreamy smile on your lips as you bring your hand down to tug at the hem of Ellie’s t-shirt.

“Seems like old habits never die, that’s all….need this off” you huff out softly, fingers fumbling between the hem of her t shirt and the waistband of her sweats.

Ellie chuckles at how eager you are before she nods, pulling back to tug her shirt off before she rolls over a bit to pull off her sweats and underwear as well before she makes her way back between your legs, towering over you as she crawls into you like a predator would its prey.

And it leaves your pussy soaking wet, because it’s better than you could’ve ever imagined. Ellie’s tits are pebbled similarly to yours, tattoos littering her pretty skin, muscles so beautiful they could make your mouth fucking water.

You’d always seen Ellie for the beauty she possessed…but this? This was so much more different.

It made your head fucking spin.

You whined softly as you practically tug her into her by her shoulders, moaning softly at the feeling of her boobs squishing against yours as your mouth attacks her in a needy kiss.

“Want you…” you sigh softly against her as your hand slides down between the both of you, cupping her pussy. You feel Ellie suck in a sharp breath at the feeling of your warm fingers against her sopping wet core, and she gives you an eager nod before rolling over, her strong hands gripping your thighs and taking you with her as she forces you to straddle her.

Being on top of Ellie is just as good as being under her, almost better in all honesty. The lighting in her bedroom is dim, but you can just make out her features with the moonlight that spills in through her big windows, and the moody lights she has set up along her walls. You don’t even realize it because you’re too busy gawking at her, but she lifts her leg up a bit and easily slots you down so that your pussy is right against hers, the feeling making you moan softly.

“You’re so pretty Ellie…” you practically sigh out. It makes Ellie moan softly, and she swears the sound of you calling her pretty is enough to bring her back to life, reversing the effects of her undead state.

“Fuck…can’t say those things to me baby…you’re gonna…Jesus..ruin me” she struggles to get out as she grips your hips, forcing you to roll your hips so that your clit and her clit bumps against each other.

Your eyes flutter shut when you feel it. It’s so fucking wet, and soft, and it’s like nothing you’ve ever felt before. Sure you’d done it with other girls before, but this just feels…it almost feels like….

“Like you were fucking made for me princess” Ellie grits out, her teeth caging her words in as she fucks you down onto her pussy, practically using you for both hers and your pleasure.

You’re too far gone to pick up on it, too indulged in the feeling of Ellie’s strong hands gripping your thighs so deliciously, sure to leave marks in their shape when you both wake up in the morning.

Your back is arching almost painfully, your hand gripping her thigh as you find the rhythm Ellie has set for you, finding the perfect spot and keeping it there as you drive both you and her to your orgasms.

“I’m…Ellie you feel so good…you’re gonna make me cum” you squeak out, eyebrows furrowed as you finally look down at the girl beneath you, only to find that she’s just as much of a mess as you are. Her hair is messy and her lips look so pouty and kissable. It’s hard to make out, but her fanged teeth are pressing into her lips, and you’re sure it’s the sexiest thing you’ve seen in your entire life.

She gives you an encouraging nod, one of her hands coming to your ass and kneading it harshly before giving it a firm spank, the sinful noise echoing off the walls of her pristine bedroom.

“I know baby…I know…come on, want you to cum with me…that’s it…that’s my good girl” her praises make your chest burn, and it leaves knots in your stomach. It only drives you further, your hips moving faster as they roll against Ellie’s, desperately chasing both hers and your orgasm.

“Ellie…Ellie I’m…I’m gonna-“ you cry out, back arching as you grip her thighs quickly, feeling your own shake as your orgasm begins washing over you.

Ellie catches it right before it happens, the girl quickly sitting up and wrapping her arms around your body, pressing your chest against hers as she pulls you down to kiss her passionately, her own orgasm washing over her like a fucking train.

Your bodies are so in tune, so in sync that your moans almost mix to create a symphony that can only be described as love, total and unconditional love as her arms keep you close, as if stopping you from running away from her, from the feeling she gives you. Her lips are working against yours as you breath hard, struggling to catch your breath in the sloppy kiss.

You’re a whining mess, your poor pussy far too sensitive to deal with the amount of pleasure that Ellie brought to you, all of it washing over you like an intense sea of euphoria, nearly drowning you as you held onto the girl with weak hands.

She knows you’re weak, because she’s pulling you down to rest your warm body against her cool sheets, all while keeping her cool body pressed against yours to bring you back down to earth with her.

“That’s it baby…I know….did so good for me…” she sighs softly as she leaves gentle kisses against your cheeks and eyes, watching as the aftermath of your orgasm slowly pulls you to the depths of sleep, all of it too much on your body.

“My beautiful girl…my girl…my girl…” she hums out, almost like a song as she watches you cling to her in your sleep, soft hums and huffs leaving your lips, all of which makes Ellie smile adoringly at you as she holds you while you sleep.

And even while you’re settling into one of the deepest sleeps you’ve ever experienced, you don’t miss the soft kisses against your lips and cheeks, all paired with the constant, non stop praises from Ellie.

You especially don’t miss the way she leans in settles against the pillow next to you, mumbling the softest, sweetest words to you as her hands caressing your naked body.

“I love you, pretty girl..”

[butchdiaz]

tagged by @iinryer to do a 2024 fic roundup but i'm adding my videos in too because. uh. its fun to look back! and i want to!

MARCH

american teenager (36s)

my first ever commission! for my best friend bia! to this day i hear do what you want (do more!) everytime i listen to this song.

APRIL

arms (1:02)

this was for seti. and it hurt.

good luck babe! (1:11)

literally never felt euphoria the same since the week of bi buck when i made this. changed the timeline. (although i was so euphoric and excited to post that i cropped in a rush and left a little white line in one of the shots and it pisses me off massively to this day. yes im a virgo thanks for asking)

to open up my arms and give it all to you (2.5k)

my little buck coming out to chris fic with hints of buddie <3 bi buck got me writing again after months of literal Nothing. god bless

one of your girls (3:09)

kirby's vision went OFF. so proud of this one like. its gotta be one of my favs and i feel like it became a bit of a butchdiaz classic which makes me so happy :D

MAY

kill her freak out (1:33)

this video is my little baby. ohhh samia. ouaagh eddie.

scared of my guitar (2:23)

shoutout to the way the dialogue syncs up in this one. rly satisfying to me hehehe. honestly didn't think i'd like this one as much as i do but she hits hard

promise (1:15)

love when people commission me to edit songs im already currently obsessing over yay!!!!!

JUNE

happy to be here (2:16)

julien baker. eddie diaz. aka abby had a mental breakdown making this one.

closed hands, full of friends (45s)

this was my first time editing a song i had Never heard beforehand! 3 cheers for finding new music!!

JULY

l'amour de ma vie (3:26)

ok not to toot my own horn but. this one is good. i feel like i really told a story u know. and about now is when i started to play around with fun/more intricate text ooh ooooh

a burning hill (1:01)

this prompt was designed in a lab to kill me specifically. i wanted to do the whole song originally but i like. could not go on.

my ego dies at the end (2:49)

i reallyyyy like this one. long edits my beloved! i love to build to something. i rewatch this one often tbh. jensen mcrae is everythinggg

AUGUST

north star (2:16)

again, had never heard this song b4 i got this prompt and it got me obsessed with this searows album. this edit makes me feel all soft. rly loved incorporating fleabag into it bc like. fleabag for life. shoutout summerofbuddie for the inspo

feels like (58s)

this song has been on my buddie playlist(s) forever so i was So excited to get this prompt. it was so fun to make something. not depressing and just like. fluffy. fun fact i hand drew all the hearts for this in ps and they were such a pain to work with but i really love how it turned out cause i'd never done anything like that before :')

pink balloon (2:29)

finally made a proper buck amv. after so many eddie ones it was actually nice to switch it up. felt re-inspired! also always so inspired by samia ugh. i am an eddiegirl literally to my bones tho so this was both v hard and v fun to make.

SEPTEMBER

"i want a divorce" / "it was a date" (2:19)

the buckshannon parallels ouuugughhh. this was one of those ones that haunted me so persistently i literally was forced to make it. saw hanna's post and then blacked out and i was posting this.

had a feeling i could be someone (3k)

+

leave tonight or live and die this way (1.1k)

dyke buddie!!!!!!!! these fics are sooooo near and dear to my heart. i love to make everyone wlw! i love to project my butchness onto my fav characters! wrote these so fast (for me) like writing has Never flown out of me like that. i was possessed by the spirit of lesbianism. and. GOD. the response to these fics also makes me want to cry daily. the beautiful art that was created?????? for me and my little fic?????????? i actually can't believe it i love you guys so much. lesbians forever and ever and ever.

did it to myself (1:11)

another one of my favs. i think it slaps so hard tbh. i tried a lot of new stuff and it was so FUN. orla's music is so much fun to edit to i need to do another one of her songs asap.

afraid of heights (2:46)

boygenius wrote this for my friend buck buckley. got entirely consumed by this one. thank u han for being my buckafraidofheights warrior for life <3

headlock (2:23)

i love buck but i remember coming back to making an eddie amv and breathing a sigh of relief. i just Get him. its so easy. this one's underrated i think oop it kinda slaps

OCTOBER

savior complex (3:16)

this one was a rly good challenge and idek why. super happy with how it turned out though i like watching it back

NOVEMBER

funeral bell (2:54)

the buck thesis statement. to me. and such a crazy unique process. loved working w kaitlin on this one and sending her 10 million drafts (she rly got a behind the scenes tour yall and it was not pretty). this was an absolute BEAST to make despite it not even being that complicated. i think i just cared so much about making it perfect for my dear friend who trusted me with her visions and inspiration and that made it all the more special!

you get your dreams for free (14.8k)

drunk cuddling!!!!!!!! my longest fic i've posted to date and i fully thought i was never gonna finish it. i abandoned this last YEAR but im SO glad i came back to it and most of the reason for that is because of the absolutely lovely responses to my earlier fics this year <3 literally hilarious to me that i originally wanted to post this on halloween 2023. abby. abby no.

surrender my heart! (1:30)

post-confessions euphoria + a carly rae jepsen prompt? i was literally in heaven. SURRENDER UR HEART EDDIEEEEEEEEE

DECEMBER

every place leads back to your place (2.1k)

music inspires me soooo much (looks up at this post. no way right.) so i absolutely loved writing based off a song! and a chappell song nonetheless!! so fun to twist a breakup song around to fit Them. i particularly love the kiss in this one <3

oldie's station (3:17)

phew we're almost there! this one is recent but lowkey it feels like another classic to me already. i really really like it. making it felt like cooking a three course meal and watching it kinda feels like eating one :D (thank god) (i spent so many hours in that kitchen)

letter to god (1974) (2:27)

+

letter to god (1983) (1:52)

putting these together bc they are sister songs and sister videos. first time in my life i've worked on two videos at once. it was fun because they kind of grew together and influenced each other very directly. not fun because i ran out of space and my laptop crashed. several times. these felt rly indulgent and raw. kind of shocking to me how perfect both songs feel for both of them. had a lot of fun messing with the voice/video filters to try and place these in their respective eras bc im obsessed with that aspect of the songs. halsey's artistry is crazy yall if u havent listened to her newest album GO. NOW.

the rush of slumber party kissing (3.2k)

posted this literally yesterday lol. also my first time writing smut. somehow. scary! but i did giggle all the way through writing this tbh. when buddie reveal their true nature as silly teenage girls >>>>>>>>>>

SPECIAL SHOUTOUT

fleabag au wip, who saw the light of day again this year. she could be finished in six months or six more years, but she Will be finished. im determined!

<3

ok if u read all that uh. wow congrats fhdhhdh im gonna get sappy for JUST A SEC now cause uh. im actually blown away by the support and love and appreciation this fandom has shown me this past year. you guys have given me so much confidence in my skills as both an editor and a writer and you also quite literally helped me pay my rent. by making videos about gay firefighters. its actually kind of mind blowing to me how lucky i am and i never want to take that for granted <3

to anyone who has commissioned me, or sent me a prompt, or left a comment on a fic, or a tag on a video, or sent me a kind ask, or subscribed to me, or followed me, or reblogged anything of mine this year: thank you.

im so grateful for this little community and all the friends and connections i have made through our collective insanity over a procedural drama on abc (neé fox). yall rock so hard.

<3

tagging @userbuddie @chronicowboy @confessionseddie @try-set-me-on-fire @userautumn @lovelettered @exhuastedpigeon @sibylsleaves @saryasy @team-118 @lemmeaskthedevil @eddiebabygirldiaz if u wanna do any sort of yearly roundup!

[starstickerzzz]

IM FINALLY MAKING AN ACTUAL INTRO POST!!! YIPPEEE!!! 🥳✨

(Ignore the fucked up lettering)

ANYWHIZZLE!! I’m River!! Or starr or jade or whatever you wanna call me idc I’m indecisive lolz :b

My pronouns are She/her!!

Art tag is #starstickerzzzartz

Text post tag is #starspeakz

Random facts about me:

🌟my favorite color is dark cherry red

🌟my favorite animal is a tanuki

🌟My music taste is mostly alternative or indie anything and other random shit especially stuff that reminds me of or is connected to a fandom I enjoy !!

🌟I love dad jokes and humor in general,one of my favorite things to do is to make people laugh

🌟I would genuinely sacrifice myself in a second for the people I care about

🌟my favorite drink is coffee

🌟my favorite dessert is mochi of any kind

🌟my favorite food is Mexican food and Easy shit like ramen

🌟I grew up surrounded by Mexican culture and love to speak Spanish or use Spanish words (lmk if I accidentally say something you don’t understand lol)

🌟I’m actually Russian tho

🌟I’m in the us tho lol :b

I am adhd (and many other diagnoses and neurodivergencies but we don’t gotta talk abt that rn I’m fucked up lol) and I’m EXTREMELY hyperfixated on rottmnt,sonic and mob phyco 100!! :3 (edit:I also love Creepypasta/marble hornets!!!!)

I also like other fandoms like dog man and other stuff as u will see from my re-posts lolz :3

Other things enjoy are writing,photography,learning shit,animals,nature,skateboarding and anything that is fun and whimsical >:3

I am 18 years old (19 on June 27th this year)

I am lesbian and asexual as fuck (my gf is @skelebab 🌟)

So I hate nsfw stuff and also don’t flirt with me please lol

I post art and shit sometimes but not a lot recently since I’ve been struggling to art fr

I also make a lot of text posts mostly fandom related or other stuffs like funny or wholesome shit that happens to me or that I do that I think yall would like but really I just post whatever I want lol

I love to make friends!!! I try to support people on here as much as I can!!

This blog is a safe space for everyone unless you suck or are basic dni type shit u know who u are lol

Feel free to comment, send asks, message me, vent, or interact in any way you would like too! I can’t always promise to do art requests I get as arting is hard sometimes fr but I try to !! I will most likely respond to interactions unless they are wierd or gross and it makes me extremely happy so don’t be shy!!!

Anyways I love you guys let me know if I can ever do anything for you or if you need a friend or some support. I am here for you guys always 💝

Use this post as a message board if you would like, comment whatever you want whenever you want it makes me genuinely happy, ask me stuff, say random shit,info dump, share cool facts, etc!! Have fun it will absolutely make my day 💝

K bai :3

[charmvinyl]

“I can take away that sorrow. I can give you that death you begged your feeble, blind, degenerate, nonexistent god for.” — lesbian vampire! cate dunlap bot here.

AUTHORS NOTE: back again with another bot!!! this time for my love nd princess... cate dunlap ! i had so much fun making this bot and hope u all give it a try, she's a sweetheart. was inspired by my love of vampires, iwtv, and a moodboard someone posted about vamp cate. she's ur favorite manipulative lesbian who just wants to share immortal life with u... will u let her?

LORE DROP: had so much fun writing the lore and background. you and cate attend the prestigious academy Godolkin University, a school for the supernatural and human to coexist. cate is a freshman and eighteen years old. up to u if u wanna be a freshman or older! i envisioned user as a human since this is the first time cate's truly revealed herself to you, but totally play as u want! cate wears her gloves so she won't accidentally manipulate u with touch. also was the reason her brother left home and won't ever come back after telling him to go away (she wasn't aware she had powers then), when she was 9 and he was 12. if you wanna do a lil plot and find caleb... he'd be 21 now! i envisioned him as a young alex pettyfer.

NOTES: my account and bots are shadowbanned. please use my pinned masterlist to access them! thanks for using :)

[humiliationsheets]

hi :3 my friend made a post about aroace hcs for the bmc kiddos so now i wanna share mine! i’m aroace so this is very important to me and i wanna share it with you guys now :]

jeremy - he is so arospec to me. probably cupioromantic but he gets freaked out about complex labels, so he just thinks of himself as arospec. it’s a good thing he’s chronically online otherwise he’d have no idea what’s “”wrong”” w him (his words, not mine, i love being aro and i love aro ppl! he’s just having a hard time accepting that it’s out of the ordinary). but i also do quite enjoy ace jeremy as a method of projection!

christine - my aroacespec queen. i think christine is a Yearner. i think they love the concept of love and everything to do with it. but they just don’t fall in love easily! i think because she’s neurodivergent, she gets platonic and romantic attraction confused a lot. christine, have you heard of limerance… and they’re just ace. she’s not really interested in sex but still finds the beauty in the intimacy of it all. christine is a Lover but has a hard time Loving in the romantic sense. it’ll all work out eventually :)

michael - he is asexual! i don’t think he’s 100% sex-repulsed, more sex-neutral. he just doesn’t experience sexual attraction very often. i have a little unfinished oneshot abt how he discovers he’s ace after a failed relationship w jake and its my baby. he’s always felt the feelings but yk. it doesn’t really click until he’s a senior.

chloe - she’s so aro lesbian 100%. aro lesbian to ME. my silly aro lesbian. another case of limited romantic attraction but she just wants to be loved :[ !!! makes it so frustrating for her sometimes so she hooks up with / dates a lot of people she doesn’t have feelings for, jake included. i do think this was a mutual thing for them, however.

jenna - another aro lesbian in my collection. i don’t think she experiences romantic attraction, like… hardly at all, but she doesn’t need to be in love to be happy! her priorities lie in friendships and self-care :)

jake - i hc him to be arospec and unlabeled! i think jake doesn’t know this. he’s just used to not wanting to be “tied down” to a relationship (but in reality, it’s because he really just… doesn’t have feelings for anyone. it’s only happened once). he isn’t really looking for something serious for a really long time. he has too much going on and would rather have fun instead of putting another thing on his plate and risking hurting others. this causes a lot of other issues in some of my writing huehuehuehue

and i think brooke and rich are allo! but i have tinkered w the idea of cupioromanticism for the both of them... i like having fun experimenting w/ different concepts that don’t necessarily reflect my hcs! they have evolved sm over time but this is just where i’m at rn :)

sorry this is a long post but i hope u all enjoyed!

[berryliciouspie]

﹒ berry pie ৻ꪆ

she / her ✿ black

୨୧ pan　﹒ moots ? ◞　 　　　　

ᢉ𐭩 i lllove being a nerd, im pan (?), and love making friends, nice people, cheese cake, games, pink, and anime!!

⟶ i made this blog because i'm high key a nerd and i want to express my interests more because i never get to with my friends tm ( THEY'D MAKE FUN OF ME AAUUUGGHHH ) i've been a nerd my whole life no matter how much i try to deny it 😭 .. IMMM EMBRACING IT !!

⟶ weird girls who shun ur interests moot me if ur reading (pls relate to me) also i talk alot sorry guys

⟶ also moot me if uhh ur closeted and uhh a big freaking nerd like me ig💔💔 i'd put my interests but i'm NNNOOT trying to type a essay so trust i know a lot of stuff!

⟶ i hope u tumblr ppl like me i promise i'm not dry or mean uhh im tryna not be super duper personal cus i wanna be anonymous no one knows im lesbian

and i also write fsnfics and headcannons ok bye. 😥😥

[cupcakewebkinz]

So i believe sprout has mentioned people get pissed hes a dude wearing pink before, how do they treat toons like glisten, cosmo, astro, ect with slightly "feminine" styles?

And what about girls with so called "masculine" styles? The only example i can think of is vee, i have seen real players in the real game arguing with vee MAINS about vee's gender, their only argument being "he's wearing a bowtie and he's green he's a boy"

(I HATE THOSE PEOPLE SM CAN THEY PLEASE STFU)

I really like your au and i just wanted to ask this but i feel like the answer will make me mad :3

(not mad at u mad at gender roles)

Well thankfully dear 'non, it wasn't a problem when Gardenview was open, so they didn't really get that treatment!

However~

Since Cosmo was revived via love and a lot of ichor cleaning, he's had this problem. Except Sprout makes sure it... Doesn't become a problem. That dude has death glared at anyone who DARES even mention that Cosmo has a feminine style (unless it's complimenting him, of course) and would snarl at anyone who goes near him. He's vicious when it's Cosmo, so if anyone treats him wrong, he snaps them right into place with a look of "I'll kill you" and a bare of his not-very-scary teeth. Dude thinks he's way more terrifying than he actually is *wheeze*

Cosmo also tends to hide away in the kitchen whenever he helps Sam with the bakery, curls up out of view when he's near windows and generally doesn't leave the house very often yet. He's EXTREMELY self conscious about his scarred face, he doesn't like it when others see him, even if Shelly and Vee welcomed him back with lots of love and support. It's just not his time yet, and that's okay.

He does absolutely cry whenever it happens though... Which is why Sprout goes from 0-100 real fast. He doesn't take any negativity too well anymore, and is really glad Sprout is always there to make it all better (and commit arson on anyone who dares continue to make fun of him)

Now-

With Vee being called a guy in my au? She'd just either go along with it because she finds it funny or just laugh at your face, go "I'M A WOMAN YOU MORON" then laugh even more as she walks away. She does not give a shit, you can call her anything and she'd just correct you. She's nice to anyone who's genuinely confused and doesn't realize that she's a butch lesbian with the sweetest, fluffiest wife ever, but if you're being real with it and she knows it- she's making you look like the fool instead. She's laughing at YOUR stupid ass, not at the attempts to make her feel bad. She doesn't care, never will. Shelly cares more than Vee does, but tends to get too scared of confrontation to do much about it. Me too Shelly, me too.

Hope that answers your questions, non. Sorry for the delayed reply, I was deep in my writing again.

[autisticlancemcclain]

this is me asking you about your popstar lance au ‼️

i love u for asking & marry me also.

SO.

lance has an affinity for music.

partially this is canon. but also jeremy shada is a musician so. i KNOW his voice is good and i KNOW he can play bass and guitar and keyboard too i think. basically he’s his own band.

in my head, dicking around on instruments is just smth he’s always done. one time when he’s like twelve he records a christmas song for his mama and she LOVES it, like she shows all her friends, and lance is teased by his older siblings (mamas favourite lol) but veronica notices that he’s quite quietly….happy is not the right word?? the weight that seems to follow him lifts for a while. so she makes some offhandedly comments that damn, patito, as much as ur a goober ur one of the few people whose voice sounds really good when it’s recorded. just to plant the seed u know.

and since lance is like early teens and the youngest and easily manipulated it WORKS, and lance starts actually hesitantly trying to make and record his own music.

of course he’s too insecure and embarrassed to like TELL anybody. (veronica is not a dumbass and can fully see it happening. she just keeps to herself and resolves to find him and be an anonymous fan and never EVER let him find out) and he’s a tv obsessed nerd so he’s like omg i have to have a secret name??so his dweeb ass chooses JAVELIN 😭😭 cause. yknow.

lance.

anyways.

he writes songs as javelin for YEARS and he gets like bo burnham success he goes viral QUICKLY. and he gets a twitter account to have fun with. BUT…he never posts his face. just his music. (and social media presence lol).

anyways i have more details. but i like to imagine lance is in space and the team gets to talking about like pop culture and music and stuff and pidge mentions an artist that she loves, javelin, and lance is like lol do i have news for you.

some other random details:

- as lance gets older his twitter gets more batshit insane ala jaboukie and he gets banned like four times lol

- he does eventually tell veronica. one day he collects a bunch of her pining gay texts and writes a song and asks her to sing it. bc it’s lesbian as hell. she does and it’s one of his most famous (based off a real song i’m obsessed w)

- while he’s away at space someone literally figures out who he is. they connect his disappearance w the disappearance of lance esposita-mcclain, garrison airforce cadet, and their debunking youtube video gets like MILLIONS of views and half of the viewers agree half don’t. it’s this giant conspiracy. first tweet on javelin’s account (made on the lions as they touch down on earth literally the second his phone connects to data lol) after YEARS of total radio silence is a link to the video and the caption “well damn” lol

[phoenix-is-the-hottest-thing]

This is the same anon as before. I think I should thank you for bringing up how society for some reason believes that sapphic women cannot express our attraction to other women openly or as they put it 'like cishetallo men' in the context of Elysia's vocal attraction to Mei's horns. As a lesbian, as much as I really hate Elysia for retconning the story and in my eyes trying to ruin kiamei, I find her to be hot as fuck and I love her boobs but people online cannot believe that a woman can feel that way towards a woman and women are pure of heart being or some shit which is what terfs and fundamentalists say. Thank you for saying women being attracted to women beyond just holding hands is normal and I hope you had as much fun receiving my asks as I do reading your answers. I enjoy hearing viewpoints opposing my own.

Hell yeah, glad that was helpful!

Honestly I feel like Elysia enhances Kiamei if anything. Like Kiana got to have other relationships develop and bounce off of, but Mei was benched most of the story, so she only really had Raven as her own friend until ER. Kinda hard for her to be developed as a character.

Everyone's lives are enriched by the relationships they form and the ways they grow along with them. For better or for worse (the writing quality's sin wave) Mei did experience a lot of growth through her conflict and subsequent warming up to Ely and friends.

Mei had always been embarrassed by Kiana's frank flirting, so confronting a way flirtier girl probably opened up her perspective, no? Plus she's a lot more confident, less soft-spoken now. The whole terrorist thing made Mei very direct, but Elysia softened her rough edges again by ER Chapter 3.

Besides. Depending on how you interpret her relationship with Elysia, she might also have gained experience in... other ways...

If they're gonna be separated, letting your ship interact with other characters, especially foils and contrasting ones, is the next best thing u-u

ALSO. Can we stop being mad at Elysia for the retcons. Elysia is a victim of the retcons. The writers retconned her character and changed the direction from ER's story foreshadowing

[blorbocedes]

hiya! I've recently returned back to tumblr and somehow seemed to have remembered your name. I've dearly missed you!!! The last time i was on here, the zendaya throuple movie had been released, and I remember you writing the most magnificent lewis and nico fic, which was so gut-wrenching and honestly so tantalisingly hot. I no longer dabble in ao3 but was wondering if you had any published book suggestions/reading recs of similar writing style. Your writing had been (still is if you're currently writing) so so so mesmerising, so my thought process is that you must've read a tonne of books to get to such a wonderfully expressive and creative writing style.

If it isn't too much of an ask, do you by any chance have book recommendations? Preferably women centric or anything in general.

Thank you!! Hugs and kisses are being sent your way. I'm so happy I've rediscovered you again!! AND ALSO MAX VERSTAPPEN IS A 4 TIME WORLD CHAMPION

💞💞💞

(apologies for any spelling error 😅)

hiii first of all thank you so much for the kind message 🥹🥹🥹 welcome back!

secondly unfortunately all I do is read nonfiction that's related to my degree.

HOWEVER. I asked two women @karlmarxverstappen and @gayferrari who DO read and I trust their taste implicitly, and I asked them for reccs on women centric books that are fun and fucked up because that's how I'd describe my style and here's the reccs:

Tampa by alissa nutting, bunny by mona awad, all is well by mona awad, casandra at the wedding by Dorothy Baker, animal by lisa Tadeo, big swiss by jen beagin, boy parts by Eliza clarke

Young adult cosy read about creepy faeries — <https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/18298890-cuckoo-song>

victorian England version of The Handmaiden (book it's based on) <https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/8913370-fingersmith>

LESBIAN NECROMANCERS IN SPACE <https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/52057544-gideon-the-ninth>

thriller by the author of gone girl which I also rec <https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/18045891-sharp-objects>

not fucked up but a women centric comfort read <https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/32075853-erotic-stories-for-punjabi-widows>

creepy novelette :3 <https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/89724.We_Have_Always_Lived_in_the_Castle>

English Victorian missionaries bring jesus christ to the fae world it goes badly also there's (spoiler) ||incest|| <https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/34643773-under-the-pendulum-sun>

girl tries to get a MFA and it's a literal horror show <https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/42732512-bunny>

my best friend's exorcism <https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/41015038-my-best-friend-s-exorcism>

straight up horror but very well written I LOVE the protag <https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/55713043-my-heart-is-a-chainsaw>

also if u do romance this is my romance entry point, it's not fucked up but the main character is over 30 which is very rare in romance <https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/51589631-last-tang-standing>

[bleachbleachbleach]

Hiiiii, re ur post abt goals and the whole being more active in the community thing -- I'll try to remember to interact with u more than just liking/reblogging things! I've been super quiet on my own blog since I had burnout two years ago but I'm trying to get back into doing more than just occasionally posting fic, and honestly I love a lot of ur head canon posts and metas etc. I probably won't read any of ur fic because I'm a Bit Weird in that for some reason I hate reading fic in the fandoms I write for (but still love metas and headcanons? Brains sure are weird) but everything else I'll try to actually Write Words instead of letting my thoughts stay in my head!

This is such a sweet message! <3333333

I would totally welcome conversation, and it’s great to know that you are open to it, too. Because I feel like Tumblr as a platform runs on a parallel play model on purpose, and most people probably just want to do that, and my hesitation in going full throttle about using Tumblr the way I would want is my fear that it is going to be obnoxious/overbearing/overwhelming (e.g. driving people to madness via “Why is this person talking to me… I didn’t want to talk to them...”).

It’s so funny you should say that, re: enjoying hcs/meta but not fanfic in your writing fandoms, because I think about that divide a lot! Half the time I spend writing most* headcanon posts is actually time spent workshopping “sooooo…. how do I say this without saying ‘well, in my fanfic…’” because it’s probably something I already wrote in fanfic or notes for fanfic, but 1) I want to talk to people about it, and the chances that I will get to if it’s written in a fanfic are fairly slim, and 2) I want to hear other people’s versions of it, too. In their fanfic, if they write fanfic, but also their posts or tags!

But that can be complicated because in my mind, [insert headcanon post topic] tends to be fairly situated in context—the context of fic things having happened, or things that are going to happen, or thematic undercurrents/relationships—so it becomes a project in trying to make the proposition NOT sound completely bananas without that context/something being written in a particular way. Which can sometimes be its own kind of fun and is sometimes like “good grief, I could have simply been writing more fanfic!” (I feel like I should emphasize here that no one should feel obligated to read my fanfic. I mean, I want people to want to read it! But I very much do not want anyone to feel like they Have To or like they need to explain why they’re not!)

Our approaches are opposite, in that my brain is fanfic forward, both for myself and for others’ fanfic. But I do feel like a lot of RP blogs share your orientation re: not wanting to read other versions of the character they write for! I don’t know if this is where you, specifically, are coming from, but I’ve read on some of the RP blogs that it has a lot to do with having a strong investment in their own particular color on things, and wanting that centered and front of mind. (Which isn’t to say that sentiment isn’t true of most people, I think, because otherwise they wouldn’t write them that way—it’s true of me—but ymmv on how much someone wants to see the other iterations.)

For me, I know that I’m a lot less adventurous about Interpretations That Excite Me for my blorbos than other characters I might read for. Like, to use a silly example, in my mind Soi Fon is 100% Lesbian (which stands out in my headcanon space because I generally assume most everyone in Bleach would be on some level willing to get down with most anyone else), but did I click on Soi Fon/Vegeta when I came across it anyway? Absolutely I did. I barely know who Vegeta is. But my down-to-clown boundaries with Soi Fon are very low, nearly tabula rasa, so go get Vegeta, girl!!!! Whereas for like, Hitsugaya, I’m probably not going to read Hitsugaya/Vegeta because I am not actually a crossover person, my knowledge of DBZ is limited to The Osmotic Experience of Having Grown Up in the 90s, and my favorite version of Hitsugaya’s sex life is the absence of one.

*Of course, there are other headcanons posts in the omake/filler vein that are simply too dumb (affectionate) for me to want to write full fanfic of, like the Gotei regatta or the Gotei bowling league, or that “I think the average shikai user would probably be pretty good at driving a car but they would NOT be considerate or lawful users of said car” post.

[therealkaidertrash21]

Kind of follow up to this post. I wanna talk about how I think The Rampion Crew canon couples met and got together in my Highschool au. (This is pretty close to canon in many parts)

(If u want me to do a non-canon couple or a friendship, tell me and I'll do it!)

(also I think it's important for me to say: it's not like I've thought about all of this carefully, this is just me writing down the fake scenarios I think about when I walk home after school lmao)

Jacinter:

I really like the idea of them being raised together like in canon, so I guess it wouldn't be very different to that. But just to change it up a little: i think it would be fun for them to meet as kids, like in elementary school. And Jacin is like, alone and Winter just approaches him and starts talking to him! And they pretty much become best friends immediately.

Idk when they'd get together but definitely after 14 or smth. At this point they're very much in love with each other, they're just young and don't really know it. And when they do get together nothing really changes!

Wolflet:

Since they're both into sports, they would know who the other is, and I think they probably feel attracted to each other or "interested" but nothing serious ofc. But I think they would officially meet at something like a mandatory group project, the kind you can't choose partners. Probably at like 15 or smth?

As to how they get together: I think after they meet Wolf is almost instantly, basically lovestruck. Scarlet is pretty quick to notice and after a couple of weeks they start seeing each other and quickly start to date (:

Kaider:

These two DEFINITELY meet through Thorne. Like they have other friends in common, but Thorne is always talking about one to the other, so they know who the other is pretty well by the point they meet. I think they'd meet in a pretty casual way, like both just happen to approach Thorne in the hallway at the same time and it's like an awkward "oh🧍‍♀️.... hey" but that leads to them starting to wave at each other in the hallways or talk briefly and then to a friendship.

I think they'd meet at like 15 but it would take them a year to get into a relationship. I think Cinder would find it hard to talk to him w/o knowing him so the friendship would evolve pretty slowly. But in that time they start developing a crush for the other and like in canon, Kai would start flirting and eventually ask her out and then date (: (tbh I could write SO MUCH of this, we all know they're my faves)

As you may or may not know: I don't really like Cresswell in canon because of the age gap, but in this au I just think of everyone to be the same age, so it's not a problem. The thing is I also have a lesbian cress headcanon thanks to @winterrhayle so I don't really ship them anymore. That's why I'll just do it as a friendship:

Cresswell:

I think Cress probably thinks no one notices her (low-key true) especially someone like Thorne but he actually DOES. They meet because Thorne needs tutoring for some subject and she's asked to help.

He develops a crush on her, he confesses his crush, but she doesn't feel the same way (and feels bad about it) but they stay friends and he gets over it eventually (:

I don't count Kiko as canon so won't do that on this post