#this was probably already said multiple times

[xxepherr]

.ೃ࿐ELECTION DAY | HP

summary — in which austin accidentally lets it slip that hasan’s faceless (yet public) girlfriend is the woman they’re currently watching analyse the maps on CNN. 

pairings — hasan piker x politicalcorrespondent!girlfriend!reader

pronouns — she/her

word count — 

note — i personally would have “6’4 jacked boyfriend” as his contact name so that whenever weird men try to hit on me they see that but thats just me (and this reader insert ofc) (also this is nothing special just me rambling tbh — what’s to say this political!reader doesn’t become a mini series)

THE DAY WAS HERE. election day. not only was it the day your boyfriend had spent hours upon hours preparing for for weeks, but you, too. you were a political journalist and correspondent currently working the map for CNN during the weeks in the lead up to the election. 

it was a big day for you. four years ago you were streaming your own map coverage to fifteen thousand people on twitch, accessing your sources across multiple states to provide statements on what was going on nationwide. being asked a couple months ago to run the maps in front of millions was certainly a step up, but it gave you control to speak objectively without bias unlike most of the other news anchors and correspondents that were pushing right-wing sentiment over any other coverage. 

you hadn’t seen hasan in a few weeks now unless you counted facetimes and tuning into his streams. you’d get texts while he was streaming and the occasional kaya video ( because apparently she’d been whining with your leave ). it wasn’t the same, but you were both incredibly career-driven people, so being hours apart by plane wasn’t as daunting as it probably should’ve been.

“you’re gonna be late to stream,” you laughed softly, fiddling with the cap of the bottle of water someone had gotten you. endless tabs were open on your laptop in front of you, following aspects of every state because there was still hours to go before the polls closed, so you were only needed in short segments for now to go over 2020 and 2016 county votes in particular states at a time. 

“you’re right,” hasan’s voice was slightly staticky through the phone. “i might have to focus on kornacki or fox news so that i don’t spend too long staring at you.”

“aw,” you let go of your phone, holding it between your ear and shoulder to screw the cap back on the bottle. one of the directors caught your attention across the room, holding up his hand to say that she had five minutes before they were back on air again. “i’m back on in a few . . . i’ll have your stream open on my laptop, though!”

“good luck today,” hasan said softly as he started his stream, leaving it on his opening scene while his mic was muted. people were already flooding in by the thousands. “i’ll talk to you in, what, twelve hours? i love you.”

“twelve hours,” you hummed in agreement, “i love you more,” you sighed softly, noticing that the twitch tab was reloading to take her to his ‘starting soon’ overlay. “good luck.” you ended the phone call first, quickly putting it back on do not disturb and placing it over on the table that was full of analytical notes. the board that now had the map of the united states of america was lit up again, an empty canvas waiting for you to load up the old votes to load up projected blue and red areas.

TOO MANY HOURS TO count and three hundred thousand viewers into the election, hasan was still going strong. despite the pull to watching CNN more than he probably should, he managed to force himself to switch between fox news to laugh at republican propaganda and msnbc. though, he would one hundred percent lying if he said he didn’t have CNN up on his second monitor. 

things were steadily climbing, and josh ( ettingermentum ) was back after mike from PA left the call. josh, who had been raging on ( no seriously, no one had really heard him be that loud all day ) about how the democrats fucked up was finally broken up when austin joined the call, the atmosphere shifting.

christmas sign in full view and a cold slab of a slice of pizza being shoved into his mouth, austin’s discussion on if he was being sent to prison if the republicans dominated was dwindled until josh left the call to analyse the polls for twitter. 

“ugh, can we watch something else?” austin asked, barely swallowing his mouthful of pizza first. “all i’ve done is watch fox today.”

“yeah,” hasan chucked humourlessly, clicking around mindlessly between tabs as he tried to find msnbc’s coverage. because the tabs were so small thanks to the fifty million twitter tabs he had open, he almost groaned in frustration when he accidentally clicked on the CNN tab.

 the tab where you were conveniently fiddling with the data of state of pennsylvania. it was already a dangerous game having you on screen when the chat knew what the silhouettes of you looked like — photos from behind of you walking with hasan, photos of your eyes after he tried to do your makeup, mirror fit checks with your face covered by the phone . . . chat only needed to be railroaded enough to work it out. 

just as he was about to switch tabs again, austin opened his mouth. “oh, man, i miss her,” there was a shift in his tone, more than just him speaking without thinking. familiarity shone through. from the way he casually uttered your nickname to the sigh, it was probably worse than railroading. it was the train forgetting to slam the brakes on worthy. 

hasan wisely kept his mouth shut as he switched to fox news — anything was better than CNN currently — and his eyes slowly zeroed in on the chat. question marks upon question marks until it eventually morphed into ‘holy shit she looks familiar’ and ‘girlfriend reveal????’ to ‘omg face reveal’ and his breathing faltered. 

someone switched the chat to emote only mode in the few moments he was silent for, austin thankfully following suit. glancing at his second monitor, you were still doing your thing, this time discussing the iowa flip from blue to red, completely oblivious. 

“austin,” hasan finally said, tone flat. there was no use making a big fuss out of denying it — that would just make it more obvious. 

austin chuckled nervously, awkwardly. “uh . . . sorry, hasan. i didn’t think about it . . . awkward.”

“clearly,” he grumbled, digging his fingers into his hair for a moment as he thought. the election was put on hold in his mind for a moment as he switched the screen to the full facecam. he wasn’t going to directly deny or confirm anything, so instead he said, “take what you will from what austin said. in saying that, don’t go harass her, clearly she was faceless for a reason. anyway,” hasan cleared his throat, “moving on, back to the election . . .” and he swiftly moved on like nothing ever happened ( while the mods were timing out anyone who asked about it for an entire week ).

“PENNSYLVANIA AND NEVADA ARE expected to be the closest as of currently,” you gestured to the map that demonstrated the slight wave from the blue shift. “we’re looking at about half a percent, but election night is full of surprises so . . . we’ll continue to keep an eye on that for now.” the directors in the back signalled that the camera was no longer live, and you nodded and took a deep breath. the polls weren’t looking as good as everyone had expected it would look for the democrats.

finally off the air for a much needed break, you wandered back over to your little table off to the side. notes were piling up, but upon noticing the spam of notifications flashing across your phone. weird, you thought, your notifications usually not showing up unless it came from verified accounts across all social media platforms . . . until you noticed that it was coming from your private instagram and twitter account. super weird. 

and then the text from hasan. 

6’4 SUPER JACKED BOYFRIEND: uhhh so austin accidentally told 300k people we’re dating 

6’4 SUPER JACKED BOYFRIEND: call me when ur done? so sorry

oh. on one hand the first part was exciting. three hundred thousand? it was a new viewership record for him. on the other? that means a shit ton of people knew the secret you guys had spent almost two years safeguarding. you’d wanted to keep your face out of everything because you had your own career and didn’t want his to intertwine with it. a healthy work-life balance was keeping that shit separate, but it was only really time until people found out anyway. it wasn’t the best kept secret, anyway. 

still, you weren’t mad. you sent off a quick text saying ‘it’s alr’ with a smiley face emoji and shut your phone off completely, shoving it off to the side and turning your laptop back on. you’d be back in california tomorrow, anyway, it could be dealt with then.

THE AIRPORT WASN’T AS secretive anymore. tired after only getting a couple hours of sleep because you got back to your hotel at some god awful hour this morning, it was an instant relief to see hasan waiting for you, dresses comfortably to not draw too much attention to himself — which was difficult because he was fucking huge.

either way, you had no energy to do anything but collapse into his waiting arms, letting him engulf you until you were suffocating. “this is nice,” you mumbled. “sorry i didn’t call, was so tired.”

“you’re fine,” he promised, pulling you back slightly to look at him. “i missed you,” he slipped his hand into yours, and he took your suitcase with his other hand. it was nice to be able to publicly be in his presence without worrying, so much so that you leant into his arm, tiredness dragging your feet.

“missed you more,” you said honestly, but there was more on your mind than just small talk. “where’s austin? motherfucker’s been blowing up my phone.”

hasan chuckled, “if i hear him apologise one more time i’m gonna commit a hate crime.” he then shook his head, “he wanted to stay at the house but i told him to come ‘round tomorrow . . . want you to myself first.”

you knew what that was code for, so you shook your head with a silent laugh. “let me sleep first, god.”

and sleep you did. the house was silent thankfully so you were content tucked up in hasan’s arms, stealing him from clocking in with his twitch chat for ten hours in a fit of selfishness that you were entitled too.

“austin might’ve saved our relationship,” you teased, trailing your fingers up his arm that was tightly wrapped around you, both on the verge of falling into dreamland. “now we can go out on proper dates again.”

“you can tell him yourself,” hasan’s arms tightened around her a little bit more, so full of warmth that the blanket was starting to render useless. “when he knocks our door down tomorrow morning.”

“aw, come on,” you tapped his arm a little harder, fighting the urge to gnaw on his forearm. “you love him.”

“i love you, he’s just my side piece,” he kissed the side of your neck tenderly, “night, baby.”

“g’night,” you mumbled back with a soft smile, the world drifting away for just that little bit longer until tomorrow rolled around. you could deal with your very public relationship then.

[razorblade180]

Streamer AU 7

Streamer AU 6 <-

Dearly Beloved plays

Weiss:Oh wow, this sounds nice.

Blake:You’re going to be saying that a lot.

Weiss:I absolutely believe it. Also can we discuss why this menu had multiple games.

Jaune:One hurdle at a time. We just need to focus on one.

Yang:Now I know you said no backseating, but you will be a coward if you don’t pick the hardest difficulty.

Ruby:Oh! We should have a death counter!

Weiss:Chat, you see how they want me to suffer?

“Do it!”

“It’s not that hard”

“No balls!”

“Godspeed”

“5 subs if you do”

Weiss:Don’t try and bribe me!

Blake:Weiss, as someone whose played this game way too many times to count, you can handle proud mode.

Jaune:This game might be easier for you than FFX. It’s not turned based, but it’s also not as evil.

Weiss:…I want those gift subs you promised. *hits Proud Mode*

Yang:Peer Pressure wins again!

“I’ve been having these weird thoughts lately…”

Ruby and Blake:Eeehehe~

Weiss:The game just started, shush!

The curious girl pays attention to the words, not looking at chat or even how Jaune himself is rather giddy. Clearly this game means a lot to them. Still, to be this excited so quickly when nothing has-

“🎶Oh~🎶”

The music came out swinging as the screen lit up with visuals. Suddenly, Weiss’s eyes lit up.

Weiss:Oh I might like this song already.

“🎶You’re giving me~ to many things, lately🎶”

Weiss:Oh fuck…

xxxxx

The opening ends and Weiss is left with her hands in front of her mouth as she tries to rationalize what she just experienced.

Ruby:Ah yes, the face of someone processing greatness.

Weiss:Listen, I’m so torn right now. That sounded fun. I kinda want to grab my keyboard and see if I can play the melody but that derail everything.

Yang:Weiss if you start doing that now, I promise you that it will happen for every track.

Weiss:Fiiiine. I will play the video game.

Photo Bunny gifted 5 subs

Jaune:Thank you Velvet. And just like that, your 100 sub goal is met.

Yang:Aye! Now she has to dress like a character from something she’s played, right? I vote Chica!

Weiss:Denied.

Blake:I’m sure she already has plans.

Weiss:Umm, should I be concerned about what I pick and give up?

Jaune:Would it stop you from picking the staff?

Weiss:*smiles* Probably not.

Jaune:Heh, then go ahead and pick it. It’s your play through.

Yang:Even in a game, you stick to your core.

Weiss:*gives up sword*

Yang:Or maybe not. Colored me surprised.

Weiss:You made me pick the hardest difficulty. I’m not giving up a shield.

Yang:Chat, she’s using critical thinking. It’s all over.

Ruby:We’re you trying to put her on the hardest path!?

Jaune:That’s actually evil.

Yang:Weiss is a big girl. She beat a Resident Evil game. This should be easy for her.

Weiss:This is why Jaune is my co-host and not you.

xxxxxx

Boy: What are you afraid of?

Weiss:….*squints*

Jaune:*smiling* What’s up?

Weiss turns the camera around to see a aburn haired boy with a very distinct choice of clothes.

Weiss:That’s Wakka! Is- Tidus!?

Jaune:Yes that’s your favorite boys

Weiss:Yaaaaay! Okay, this game is cool. Wait, who’s the girl?

Blake and Ruby:Nobody important.

Jaune:Ren is going to kill you both.

Lotus Chef: “SHE’S IMPORTANT TO ME!”

Ruby:Ren, I need you to pick better Final Fantasy characters.

Lotus Chef: “Says the Hope fan girl”

Ruby:Nora, get your man.

Weiss: “My journey begins at midday” wait, this changes things too?

Jaune:It’s your leveling curve basically. You’ll have steady growth the whole game.

Weiss:I can live with that. Yang on the other hand…

Yang:Oh I already knew your choices were gonna be. My interference stopped after you didn’t get rid of the shield. You’ll probably beat this game in four streams without much trouble.

Weiss:You almost sound disappointed.

Yang:There’s a boss I had to help Ruby with years ago. I just wanted to bond over hating it with you but it probably won’t happen now!

xxxxxxx

Weiss:I’ve known Riku for five minutes and I already don’t like him.

Blake:Please don’t slander my son.

Yang:You’d like him if he hated his dad.

Weiss:Correct. I’m biased, and will continue to be so. Tidus starting a journey to say his dad sucks is amazing. In case nobody has gotten it yet, he’s the costume I’m picking.

“Complete with no undershirt?”

Jaune:*casually times user out*

Weiss:Pfft-

Jaune:What?

Weiss:Nothing~ Just listening to the music. Man, this kid has big shoes.

Ruby:He’s supposed to resemble traits of Mickey Mouse.

Weiss:Oh yeah, so is anyone going to explain why this game had Donald Duck and Goofy on the cover?

Everyone:….

Weiss:Alright, fair enough I guess.

Yang:Enjoy the whimsy. Did you see a lot Disney growing up?

Weiss:My recitals when I was little were a few songs.

Jaune:That’s kinda adorable.

Weiss:Until the tunes get stuck in your head. Speaking of which, I can’t ignore this. Jaune, if you would?

She points over to her bed since he’s closest. He grabs her keyboard and hands it over to her. Weiss presses a few keys slowly, trying to guess the correct notes before suddenly playing the Destiny Island theme

Yang:Damn. Why are you huntress!?

Weiss:Music doesn’t pay bills often enough. This melody reminds me of a commercial I did for sunblock .

xxxxxxx

Sora and Kairi: *watching the sunset*

Weiss:…I think I’m going to like this game.

Blake:One of us. One of us.

Big Bags & Miniguns: “Sora’s shorts are killing me inside.”

Weiss:I’m focusing on the half jacket.

Jaune:I like that it has a hood.

Weiss:Gee, I wonder why you like it.

“Kairi cosplay when?”

Weiss:Give that to Ruby.

Ruby:Bet. I already have the hair! You have to be Donald.

Weiss:As i- why is it dark and stormy night?

xxxxxxxx

Weiss:Ya see, I knew Riku was bitch. He’s mad I beat him.

Blake:Play the game!

Weiss:Hahaha!

Jaune:Chat this going to be a fun stream.

[tpwk-formula1]

Hiii! Could I order a Sicilian crust pizza with alfredo sauce, broccoli, ricotta, buratta, shrimp and oregano with a Mountain Dew (dom reader and Dino, sub Paul), White Claw (Paul) and a slushie (Paul) with dessert served by Dino Beganovic and Paul Aron

My idea was Dino and reader are switches, it's Paul's first time being a sub and he's a bit nervous

Lee-Lee's Pizzeria Menu

TW - Crying, threesome, MxM, multiple orgasm, unprotected sex

WC 3100+

Sicillian crust dating Alfredo sweet sex broccoli "Made just for me huh?" ricotta "I love your voice but it's always my favorite when you're moaning my name" buratta "How many was that? three... I think you can give me another" shrimp "I'll be gentle" oregano "Please, let me cum in you" mountain dew dom/sub white claw crying slushie sir kink dessert yes served by Dino Beganovic and Paul Aron

Y/N POV

"Armastus, can I speak to you for a second," I hear my blond boyfriend call out from another room in our shared apartment.

"How can I help you," I find Paul in our shared bedroom sitting on the bed with a perplexed look on his face.

"I want to try something but I'm worried Dino might not be into the idea," he says softly making me walk towards him and climbing into his lap and feeling his hands circle around my waist and pull me in closer something he tends to do when he gets anxious.

"Love, you know Dino is always open to new ideas, but what did you have in mind?" I ask softly while running my fingers up and down his covered chest.

"Well, you and Dino always get to be switches and I'm always dom and I love it don't get me wrong! I love seeing you guys submit to me but I wanna try being sub for once," Paul says softly making a smile spread across my face before leaning down and placing a soft kiss on his lips.

"Oh! Dino is gonna be so excited! He's been rambling lately about wanting to dom you but too scared to ask because you've always loved having us submit to you," I admit softly making a small smile spread across his face before moving his hands from my hips to my face and pulling me down for a few quick kisses.

"We'll talk as a couple later but we should probably work on our communication a bit better," I laugh softly making Paul grow slightly red and nod his head.

It's been a few days since Paul and I had talked and Dino was finally home from Sweden which meant we could all sit down and talk finally.

"Dino, can you come to the entry room," I call out softly from the kitchen where I had grabbed a few waters for each of us. I find Paul already sitting on the couch looking rather nervous while I see Dino coming down the hall with a confused look.

"Paul wants to talk to you," I tell him softly when he reaches where I'm standing and placing a softly kiss on my lips.

"How can I help you," Dino says with a joking sing song while plopping down on the couch where he placing a kiss on the side of Paul's face still not picking up on the anxiety coursing through his body.

"Kärlek, what's wrong," Dino finally asks picking up on Paul's nervous tendencies.

"I- um- please don't hate me but I want you and y/n to dom me tonight," Paul rushes out making me even struggling to know what he said but based on the happy look spreading across Dino's face I can tell he knows exactly what he said.

"Go to the bedroom, strip down and be waiting exactly how you have us wait for you," Dino tells him softly before placing a kiss on his lips and watching Paul disappear down the hall where our bedroom is.

"Who's idea? Did you talk to him while I was away?" Dino turns his attention onto me where I was sitting on the coffee table just across from the Swed.

"We talked but it was his idea," I tell him softly making him smile and nod his head.

"Are you gonna join him or me tonight?" Dino asks softly making me smile.

"You, I want all the attention on him," I answer softly making a smile spread across Dino's face before nodding and standing up.

"Strip down thought," Dino says making me laugh softly and strip down into just my matching bra and thong.

"You too than," I say while point to him being fully clothes. Dino strips down into just his briefs before we both make our way into the bedroom where we find Paul completely stripped down on his knees near the end of the bed. I instantly noticed how hard his is making me smirk slightly.

"Get in the middle of the bed and lay on your back," I tell him sternly while gesturing towards the bed and walking towards the closet where he kept all of our toys.

I grab out several different things, but I toss the rope to Dino where he instantly starts typing up Paul while giving him plenty of reassurances and soft kisses along his body only fueling his horniness.

"Paul, love do you have absolutely any limits, things that are a definate no?" I ask soft while walking towards him with a blindfold, cock ring, and vibrator in my hands making Paul's eyes grow slightly wide at the sight,

"No blindfold please, not this time at least," he says softly staring directly at the long silk ribbon making me nod and softly smile dropping it on the ground before I hold up the cock ring making Paul blush bright red but softly nod before eyeing the vibrator and nodding a soft yes at it as well.

I smile softly before nodding and placing them on the bed making my way back to Dino where he is observing his handy work. Paul was tied down in a star position making me smile at how vaulnerable he looked.

"Are you okay?" Dino asks softly seeing the pure anxiety flickering through Paul's eyes.

"I think so, just a bit nervous," Paul admits softly.

"We'll go slow, it's all about your pleasure tonight. You know the safe word. Use it if you need to and yellow out if you don't like something but don't want to stop overall," Dino answers softly before approaching the bed and climbing up between his spread legs and grabbing the cock ring laying next to Paul's body.

"Kurat" I hear Paul hiss when Dino gripped onto his cock and pump it softly.

I climb on the bed next to Paul's body and start trailing my nails along his torso watching his abs flex under my touch before making it to his nipples and giving them a quick pinch making his eyes roll into the back of his head while his back attempts to arch but Dino had tied him down too good.

"Oh kurat, sir please," Paul begs making me look down to see Dino oh so slowly rolling the cock ring down Paul's large angry cock.

"Breath, you look so pretty like this," I whisper against his lips making him whimper softly before I quiet him down by placing my lips on his.

I grab the vibrator next to us and turn it on the lowest setting before softly placing it on one of his nipples making him whimper as the vibrations shoot straight to his already aching and leaking cock.

"Kurat, Y/N," Paul whimpers when I start slowly bringing the vibrator down to where he needs it the most.

"I love your voice but it's always my favorite when you're moaning my name" I tell him while I place the vibrator right on the tip of his cock making him loudly moan out at the intense pleasure.

I watch as Dino starts to play with Paul's balls making me smirk when I see Paul start to shake from his impending orgasm.

"Please, please, I need to cum," Paul whines out making me smirk slightly at his desperation.

"I think you should make Dino cum first," I tell him while removing the vibrator from his cock and softly slapping Dino's hand away making him get up and pull his briefs off before climbing back onto the bed but this time near Paul's face where he turns his head as best he can and opens his mouth and starts sucking Dino's large cock.

"God, you're so good at this," Dino groans outs making me smirk while I lean down and pull Paul's cock into my mouth making Paul hiss around Dino's cock which resulted in Dino whimpering at the sudden vibration.

"Fuck, made just for me huh?" Dino smirks while pushing his cock all the way down Paul's throat making him gag slightly. I can hear Paul softly hum in confirmation sending the vibrations straight to Dino's cock making him shudder and fuck Paul's face a bit harder before pulling out and cumming all over Paul's face making him look like a proper sub for us.

"Please, I need to cum," Paul begs not ever caring about the cum leaking all over his face.

"Cum for us," Dino leans down and whispers in Paul's ear making me speed up the actions with my mouth making Paul whimper before his whole body tenses slightly before relaxing and unleashing a massive load of cum filling my mouth up. I swallow whatever he gives me before sitting up and crawling towards his cum covered face before leaning down and licking a large strip of cum off his cheek before hovering over his open mouth and letting the cum slide down my tongue and into his mouth where he closes his mouth and swallows with a groan.

"Look so pretty covered in his cum," I whisper against his ear before placing a few soft kisses on his lips.

"Please I need more," Paul begs making my eyes find Dino's to see him already at the foot of the bed with the vibrator ready to make Paul cum again.

"You better make Y/N cum twice before you even think about begging to cum," Dino tells Paul sternly making me clench my thighs together loving when the Swed gets like this. I quickly pull my thong off before climbing over Paul's face and centering my core with his mouth.

"Please, I need to taste you," Paul whines not quite being able to reach given I was still hovering over his mouth. I finally lower myself down onto his face while watching DIno flip the vibrator on full blast making my eyes go wide knowing just how hard he's about to make this for Paul.

"Fuck," I moan when Paul starts sucking on my clit. One thing about Paul was he was a munch and knew how to bring me over the edge with just his mouth in a matter of minutes but with Dino distracting him with the vibrator I knew Paul was gonna struggle with the task at hand.

"Dino! I'm gonna fucking cum if you keep doing that shit," Paul snaps getting frustrated, his dominant side coming out slightly. He's quickly shut up though when Dino slaps his inner thigh making Paul whimper at the sudden sting.

Paul instantly attached his mouth back onto my clit using his cool down to his advantage and bringing me over the edge through my first orgasm rather quickly.

"Fuck, Paul," I whine out when I feel my orgasm hit soaking Paul's face with my essence.

"Kurat, taste so good," Paul whimpers into my pussy sending slightly overstimulating vibrations through me.

"Don't you fucking move, you better cum in the next 3 minutes, our boy won't last long," Dino tells me sternly.

"Yes sir," I moan out when I feel Paul start licking at my sensitive clit again. I'm already shaking from overstimulation and with the added pleasure of Paul's tongue I know I won't last long this time either.

"No, too much," I hear Paul start to whimper letting me know how close he was getting.

"Shit, I'm gonna cum," Paul breaths out into my pussy making me grind down on his face a bit harder.

"Cum with me," I moan while falling over the edge and watching Dino stroking Paul's cock while keeping the vibrator pressed firmly against his tip.

I watch Paul fall over the edge with a loud shout before he's moans quickly turn into whimpering when Dino keeps the vibrator firmly pressed against his tip clearly wanting to throw him over the edge against.

I slowly climb off of Paul's face to find it soaked with my juices but I can tell some of it is from his tears he was freely letting fall due to the overstimulation he was feeling.

"Please! Sir, it's too much," Paul whimpers making both Dino and I look down at him with a smirk.

"I don't think I can cum again, please," Paul continues to beg making me look down at him with slight worry in my eyes.

"Paul, color?" I ask softly while pushing Dino's brutal hand away from the angry red cock.

Green! Fucking green," Paul shouts when he quickly feels the vibrator press down on his sensitive cock again.

"Please! So close," Paul whimpers making Dino remove the intense vibrator and quickly take all of Paul's length down his throat before pulling a third orgasm out of him.

"Fuck, fuck fuck," Paul chants in English cumming down Dino's throat. Dino and I could tell Paul was getting close to his limit but he could still go again.

"How many was that? three... I think you can give me another" Dino says while looking straight into Paul's eyes. Paul just nods his head still too blissed out to talk. I see him tug gently on the rope around his wrists before looking at them and them me, a silent plea to untie him.

"Please, armastus," Paul begs making me nod my head and slowly start untying his wrists while Dino worked on untying his ankles. Once he was completely untied he slowlyy starts moving his wrists around trying to losen his muscles before he softly reaches for me and pulls me into him where he starts placing kisses all over my face clearly still deep into subspace.

"I wanna ride him," I softly say looking right at Dino who nods his head and helps me climb into Paul's lap who hisses when my wet pussy slightly touches his overworked tip.

"I'll be gentle," I tell him softly while sitting up slightly and aligning his cock with my pussy before slowly sinking down onto his cock making him hiss and moan at the sensations.

I could feel Dino lining his cock up to my ass making me whimper slightly when I could feel his lube covered cock start pushing into me.

"Dino," I whine getting louder and louder the more he pushed into me.

"Knulla," Dino moans the more he pushed into me.

Once he has fully pushed his cock fulling into me I took a few deep breaths and allowed myself to adjust to their sizes before I slowly start moving my hips making all three of us moan out instanly.

"I can feel him moving," Paul cries out letting more tears streak down his face. I lean down kissing a few of his tears away before I feel DIno instantly start fucking my ass making both Paul and I scream out at the sudden overwhelming pleasure.

"Fuck, fuck fuck," I chant out struggling to catch my breath with how fast I can feel my orgasm approaching.

"Cum, both of you," Dino grits out making Paul start fucking his hips into mine bringing me over the edge with a shout.

"Oh my God," I cry out when I feel myself start squirting my orgasm all over Paul's tummy making him groan while gripping my hips tighter.

"Please let me cum in you," Paul begs making me nod my head in approval before he falls over the edge triggering Dino to thrust deep into my ass and unleash a massive load.

Once Dino had come down from his orgasm he slowly pulls out of my ass making me whimper at the feeling before he softly hushes me with a soft kiss before placing another one on Paul's lips.

I can hear Dino starting a bath which has me sitting up and slowly pulling Paul's cock out of me before getting up and heading into the bathroom on Shakey legs.

"What the hell! I was coming back to get you," Dino says with wide eyes as I sit on the toilet and start doing my business with a shrug of my shoulders.

"I dommed tonight too, it's my duty to help him out of subspace," I reply back softly.

"Ya and we also both just split you in half, it wouldn't kill you to be taken care of a little," Dino tells me with a smile on his face. I just laugh softly back before standing up and placing a soft kiss in his lips.

"I love you," I tell him softly while wrapping my arms around his waist.

"I love you too, but I gotta go get our man. Get in that tub and be ready to cuddle him," Dino tells me making me smile and climb into the extra warm bath water. When I sink down I wait for my boyfriends to return and when they do I can't help but let out a laugh.

"Dino! Fucking hell put me down!" Paul shouts with a laugh as the slightly taller boy carries him.

"See! I told you it only works when we carry her! I never want to be carried again!" Dino laughs back referring to all the times Paul had dommed Dino and instisted on carrying him which he complained about everytime.

"Fine! I won't to it again if you put me down," Paul laughs making Dino softly place him into the bathtub before I instantly crawl into his lap. I'm sort of curled into a ball sitting sideways so I can still look at Dino while I rest my head on Paul's shoulder.

"I love you," I whisper into his neck softly while I watch a wide smile spread across his face.

"I love you too," Paul says back with the same bright smile while pulling back slightly and placing a soft kiss on my lips making me smile.

"Will you want to try it again some time?" I ask softly playing with Dino's hand that I had reached for when he sat next to the tub.

"Fuck yes," Paul breaths a laugh making me smile and squeeze Dino's hand in excitement.

"I wanna watch you dom both Dino and I together soon," Paul says making me laugh and nod.

"It's one of my favorite fantasies," I say with a smirk.

"I also want for both of us to be subs together soon too," Paul tells me softly making me nod.

"I like that we get to be this versatile," Dino says with a laugh falling from his lips.

"Keeps it interesting. Just a couple feels boring now," I say with a laugh referring to a standard 2 person relationship.

Both of the boys laugh along with me before the room fell into a comfortable conversation while we all relaxed. Once the water had ran cold Dino helped both of us out of the bath and helped us into our room turning on a moving and taking a quick shower himself.

"He left us here with a movie on like a pair of Ipad kids," Paul says making both of us bust out laughing.

[gffa]

I have been Processing My Feelings mostly through sleeping a lot (thanks, shark week), cleaning (so much stuff to be done, especially when you're on a budget so everything takes twice as much work), playing Pokemon Go (I SAW AN ARTICUNO, but it fled on me ): but that's okay, I know it only has like a 3% chance to get it, and if I saw one, maybe I'll see another sometime), and binging TV shows/YouTube videos. TV SHOWS THAT I HAVE HAD THOUGHTS ON: - FROM, season 3: I think it might have been a mistake to watch it week to week, because I've watched seven episodes now and it feels like hardly anything has happened this season, like, you only have ten episodes and the wait between seasons is so long! Get back to moving the plot forward! But a lot of people said the same thing about s2 and I found that one to move along great--but I binged the whole thing, so the pacing probably seemed better. I'm still invested, some emotional stuff has happened this season, but I want more answers/plot already!!!! - SHRINKING, season 2: Just as much of a comfort watch as the first season, still pulling a bunch of laughs out of me. The cast is incredible, the writing is funny (I'm a sucker for a Bill Lawrence show, though), and I have had genuine emotional reactions to some of the storylines this season, because I have come to care about the characters. It can be a light watch most of the time, one to put on when I want something to laugh at, but it can pack a punch in the way it needs to. - ENGLISH TEACHER: I think every episode got me to laugh at least once, most of them got me to laugh out loud multiple times. Some people are going to find it kind of preachy or tryhard, but I felt like it was trying to take an honest look at this one person's attempts to navigate the difficult societal elements at play (being gay in your 30s, no longer a kid, not a boomer, but not always seeing eye-to-eye with where the younger generation is, wanting to do the right thing versus not always knowing what that is, trying to be empathetic while being genuine, etc.), and if nothing else it got me with the sideswipe at Tumblr. That hurt, you guys, but also LOL. - 9-1-1, season 8: Still very much worth watching (especially every time Eddie is a hot mess and kind of a bitch, I've never loved him more), but I did not enjoy the Councilwoman Ortiz storyline (it felt more mean-spirited than I wanted) and I'm not looking forward to catching up on this week's episode (I've heard some of what happens), but overall, it's still a comfort place for batshit storylines. BEENADO WAS HILARIOUS, everything about Athena on the plane was fun (and less frustrating than her usual cop storylines, I love you, girl, but oh my god), and I even liked the Gerrard storyline by the end. Next to catch up on: Abbot Elementary, binge Squid Game s2 when it comes out, and finally watch The Devil Judge. (Watch, I'll have my schedule all planned out and then probably throw it out the window for Grotesquerie or something, SIGH.) Any other suggestions for comfort shows or just really bingeable recent shows or just tell me what you're watching, so that I can keep my brain off the doomscrolling track!

[icarusredwings]

Gonna have to reject your offer of He/ It cheif. Managment (Logan) would kill you for even inferring the idea.

Other people would come along and be like "What is that thing!??"

And you would just see Logan shift instantly from "Yeah ill give you a can of beans and a place to rest" to "Get the fuck off my property before you become his dinner" all while Wade is just... sitting there... behaving??

"He's not a THING! Thats my husband you asshole! And if you don't like it then fuck off!" Followed by Gabby going "Thats my papa you jerk!"

"It's just a zombie? You're married to a sombie!?"

"Again- HES my husband. I said till death do us part except death really isnt his thing so im stuck with him. You got a problem with that!?"

It makes Wade always very happy to be defended even though he surely could do it himself. For the most part things are pretty tame.

But he DOES clap a bit when logan mentions feeding him. 'Ooh yay, I get fed multiple times today' kind of way since Logan is very strict about resources, Wades is not allowed to just eat whatever because he'd probably just eat everything.

Sometimes if Logan forgets to feed him, He'll come to Logan and give him this specific whine, like a dog begging for bacon scraps only for Logan to feel terrible. "Oh my god Im sorry we were so busy today and- ... You're starving and you're not trying to bite me... you're trying so hard.. aw fuck wade.. im so sorry.. what am I going to do with you?"

"Mmm.... rawhrah?"

"Right. Feed you before you go insane. Got it."

Some days are like this. When he's clearly much more human. Being permitted cuddles and nuzzles, to play with gabby and to sleep in the bed. It's very rare that Logan lets him sleep in the bed. But it's the happiest day for wade when he is. And its not like they can even do anything (bro lost his dick miles ago and has no clue where the fuck it went but it just fell off somewhere and now hes a ken doll. This is great for those of you who like transfem wade COUGH COUGH)

But even if it didn't fall off its not like they could do anything anyway, They can't even kiss on the lips anymore. Logan has a theory that it's similar to rabies, where the infection has to be spread through saliva into an open cut or your mouth, etc.

So the nights he's allowed, they honestly just cuddle and stare at each other for a bit before sleeping. Usually, Wade is the little spoon because having Wade behind him is dangerous.

Wade heavily sees affection as a reward now, so getting to hug the girls is a massive thing for him, getting to sit there and watch gabby draw him is a big thing, hell Logan will sometimes even let Gabby play with wade out front because Wade has whole ass attacked other zombies whos tried to hurt gabby before.

One time Laura shot him in the head because gabby thought it would be a good idea to play "pretend zombie" and Wade didnt put two and two togerher that acting 'feral' as Logan calls it, outside with gabby would be a bad idea.

"What the fuck did you do that for!?"

"He was feral and going after gabs!!"

"Nu uh!! We were playing and you killed him for no reason! Youre so mean!"

Logan just sighs as gabby runs to her bed because it upsets her greatly when they have to 'keep wade in check' she fully understands that hes dangerous but deep down thats still her papa and watching your big sissy kill your papa is not something most 13 year olds would enjoy.

".. L.. you gotta stop wasting ammo. You know if it was really a code red that wouldn't do anything anyway. You have to decapitate him if you even want a flying chance. See?? Hes already up again... hi sweetie..."

Wade, whos sat up and now giving them a confused look of 'what did I do? 🥺'

"...arr Arawh"

"Im sorry, wade.." Laura squeaks out, still holding the shot gun. Shes just terrified of loosing gabby is all. To her, gabs is her responsibility.

"Rah awr rahrrr..."

"I know. She's sorry. She's just.. scared. No more playing that okay?"

"Mmh..😔"

There is infact some drift between laura and wade but neither of them mean it. Really they dont. If gabs is put of the picture Laura still smiles and talks to him but its like the moment gabby is near him Laura goes full protection mode and over reacts.

And FOR THE RECORD i have never seen the walking dead but its terrifying how accurate that picture is.

The longest Wade has been unconscious is probably 18 hours but this was before getting to the girls.

They have witnessed the exact thing you're saying, though. With Wade tied down in the shed, on his leash, and handcuffed, trying to talk to him, yelling at him to snap out of it because he's scaring the girls. Something different about feral wade from the other zombies though is it seems he's smarter, knawing on his handcuffs while most will just flail their arms helplessly. While his teeth dont do shit to the cuffs, its scary for Logan because it makes him think that one day he might actually have to find a way to kill him permanently.

He can undo locks, open cans, do many things that the others cant and he wants to believe its just Wades human part being stronger because in some weird way hes half mutant human and half zombie. A weird combo that makes him much different.

Laura, unlike gabby, too is terrified of one day wade going feral while their father is out collecting more supplies or hunting and she wont know what to do.

Wade isnt fast though. Thats the ONLY good thing. Hes smart, cant die, and is starving to death all the time. But hes slow. Infact he dosn't heal properly. His leg is half broken still from the last time it fell off and seems to barely be receptive to his brains nerves telling it to move so he lowkey drags it, only being able to use it to stand up right and take very small steps.

When he DOES finally come back hours later, He cries. Apologizes, begs for forgiveness, and most times is actually SCARED of Logan. While he hates it emotionally, he knows that logically it was a good thing for Wade to flinch away from him after being locked up.

A scared and fed zombie is a well-behaved zombie...

And before anyone comes here to say this is dehumanization of what ever else- HES LITERALLY NOT HUMAN ANYMORE.

Case closed. Besides I think wade would worry more about the fact of him trying to kill his kids then the fact hes leashed to a wall.

I dont CARE that it's November 9th and "Halloweens over" ITS MY BIRTHDAY MONTH ILL POST IF I WANT TOO

Anyway.

Thinking about apocolpse au.

Wade getting bitten by a zombie, Logan freaking out, Wade dying, and him coming back (Again)

"Didn't you just die?? I literally fucking burried you!!"

And wades like:

"Of course. Man, God REALLY hates you dosn't he?"

And he's bassically the same person except just saying, "Rahhah har ran re" (translation: I think the devil doesn't want me either)

"What?? Oh for fucks sake... tell me you're kidding.."

"Rah?" 🤔

"Great so now you stink more and you can't talk. Fucking lovely."

"Mmmmh..." 🥺 (would you still love me if I was a zombie?)

"*sighs, blushes and grumbles how insane this is and how much of a bad idea this is* Fine! Come on...."

"Raah!!" 😄

And sometimes his limbs fall off because I think it would be funny if you just saw him stop, turn around, pick up his arm and shove it back into place like a dislocated shoulder. (Marvel Magic)

But its very obvious that Wade is still consious and so logan leads him around, puts a leash on him, ties him up when he goes to sleep the first few nights so wade dosn't eat him, sometimes luring him with a piece of his thigh or telling him he'll feed him soon to make him behave.

The only thing about this resource wise is that it seems Wade is a bottomless pit, not ever able to get enough. It's like all the nutrients just pass right through him, so he can't get fed meals daily, but Logan will share at least one bite of his food. It makes Wade so happy and way more "wade like" than zombie.

Logan has learned that the hungrier Wade gets the worse it would be, snapping at logan a few times.

"Grr-"

"Aye! That's enough outta ya"

"GggRah!"

"Hey!! I said no! Bad! Bad wade!"

"Mmmh??"

"Bad!!"

"Mmh....rahah.."

"I forgive you. But stop trying to bite me. I feed you, don't I? I hold your hand and tell you that I love you?"

Wade is actually extremely friendly for a zombie (duh) and still yaps at logan except its nonsense. Logan tries hard to understand him and talk back.

He holds his hand sometimes, even lays next to him only to scold him if he gets too bitey. This is hard because wade already had a biting issue and seeing as he practically ate anything or anybody now it was more difficult.

"...aahh-"

"Wade- No."

"Ggr.. raahh"

"Wade! No! Bad."

"Mmmh..."

"Ill feed you tomarrow. Don't bite me mkay? You wanna hurt me?"

He shakes his head like a dog shaking off from a bath, or that ate a bee.

"Then don't bite me."

"Mmh? Mrah?"

"No. No kisses right now. Im still not even sure if thats safe.."

"Mmmh...🥺 ahrrah?"

"No, not even a tiny one."

"Mm...😔"

Until Logan grunts and pecks his hand. "There. Happy?"

"🙂‍↕️mh"

"Good."

Honestly Logan felt bad, pitited him. No matter what food he ate it wasnt enough substance to sustain him and sometimes Logan would wake up to find him eating a different zombie that made the mistake of trying to eat Logan.

You ever wake up in the morning, lose your zombie boyfriend, call for him only to walk outside and see him knawing on some poor chaps arm like a happy puppy who found a chicken leg? Logan has. Many times. And he wishes his phone would charge so he could take a picture of it but unfortunately theres no electricity in the post apocalypse world.

This being said Logan is like- THE perfect guy for apocalypse au because he can smell everything and hear anyone before they even get to you, he has better wilderness survival skills then anyone I know and he'll never NOT have a weapon on him because of his claws. The only downside is that he's tired easily, needs a lot of food, and would lowkey be withdrawing from his tabccao and alchool, therefore very moody.

"Stupid fucking apocalypse having to happen when im fucking alive!! Why can't I just NOT live through ONE major historical event! Is that too fucking much to ask? One damn decade where everything is fine and dandy and- WADE! Get your ass away from that!! It's radioactive!! For fucks sake!"

"Rahahrah?"

"NO!! You can not become Spiderman! That's not how that works!"

"Aawr..😔"

The whole thing is they're on a quest to find Laura and Gabby, because when everything went to shit, they were on a cabin trip and now Logans brain is itching because he dosn't know where his babies are and its driving him insane. Once he finds them, they're gonna shack up somewhere with food and animals to hunt, and hes gonna make a little shed outside for Wade to sleep because he'll kill him if he bites one of the girls.

He dosnt care that much about himself really and he hates himself deep down for not being able to trust wade anymore but even wade dosnt trust wade, sometimes wandering off on purpose, staying about 30 feet away from him at all times, growling and giving Logan that glazed over look of unconsiousness. The only good thing about this, though, is after he removes himself from the idea of hurting Logan (because if logaj were to become infected - HA! Your all fucked. Utterly fucked. The whole humanoid species would go extinct because he'd kill anything that moved) he feels more trusting of him and it's not uncommon for them to hug after either. Afterall Wade- Some how???- is still wade and is very affectionate and sensitive when its not returned.

This whole thing also makes him think worse about himself, kicking reflective objects or staring at himself in a shop window in utter shock and disgust with a face of 'thats me..?' While logans raiding the place for supplies.

Did you know zombies can cry? Well, Wade could. Not a lot, only able to get a bit of liquid from dehydration, but sometimes Logan will catch him just... sitting there.. crying. Upset with himself for being bit. Upset with himself for trying to bite logan all the time. Upset at how ugly he is. Upset that he's starving all the time. Upset that he can't even talk to anyone, and Logan just has to guess what he's saying 90% of the time. Bro is literally

When they DO find Laura and Gabby, the girls are doing great. Laura was going to blow wades head off until Gabby ran in the shot, hugging him instantly, only to be ripped away.

"Of course my dad is the weirdo married to a zombie." Laura grunts, but is secrelty happy that wade is still 'alive'

Gabby, being as young as she is, thinks it's so SICK that her dad is a zombie now, giggling when he talks to her and holding his hand. She's not allowed near him for long, and not at all by herself, but Gabby bassically becomes Wades number one supporter, defending him when he messes up and snaps at laura.

"He's just hungry!! He's not bad! It's not bad to be hungry!" She'll say. "You wouldn't kill me if I was hungry.." she tells her bigger, more survival oriented sister whos suggested putting wade out of his misery, for his own sake. "I tried that... he found me again 3 days later." Logan tells her with a pang in his chest. It had taken everything in him to kill him the first time, and sobbed himself to sleep the next 2 days. By the third when he noticed Wade following him from a distance he couldn't believe it.

Not even the apocalypse could keep them away from each other..

[bam-bi-buck]

Something super interesting to me regarding the whole Enzo thing or our perspective as the audience versus TK’s perspective as Enzo’s stepson

TK probably has rose color glasses regarding Enzo, just like he does Owen, maybe even more so

We’re meeting Enzo for the first time

But Enzo helped raised TK

TK has even said that on multiple occasions that Owen wasn’t super involved when he was a kid and that Enzo played more of a role than Owen in some ways

Based only on what we know, it’s implied that Owen became a lot more involved in TK’s life once he was a firefighter

And even then Gwyn was the one we saw really involved in getting TK clean which happened after he became a firefighter

When we see Owen and TK in season one, it’s after TK has overdosed, he’s so worried his son will die if he takes his eyes off him (after he’s had to face losing TK with Gwyn taking the brunt of that)

But once TK’s not towing that line, he’s way more hands off

In season two, Owen tells TK, that he’s gonna get the surgery TK has been trying so hard to get him to do because “[he’s] going to be a father” like ???

He later tells TK that he’s so obsessed with making a big thing of TK & Carlos’s wedding because after that TK’s not gonna need him anymore - again ???

Because whether they acknowledge it or not, when they’re not at work, when TK isn’t hawing a milestone moment, when TK’s not in crisis, how involved do we actually see Owen?

We don’t really see it, them just being there with each other, as far as I can remember

I know it’s a drama show and so they want to push the drama but then the writers can’t complain when that’s how their dynamic get viewed

But from what we know about Enzo from what TK’s said, not Owen, not Gwyn, but TK

Enzo was there

And Owen wasn’t

But we’ve seen four.six seasons of Owen

Those seasons have made him sympathetic (for some, not all) despite his flaws

And we’re just meeting Enzo

So his parallels with Owen, his attitude, and arrogance, and pretentiousness is a smack in the face for us, the audience

But for TK I imagine all that would pales in comparison to the fact that he was there

We already have seen TK brush off all those poor behaviorisms with Owen, even when he confronts Owen, he usually lets it drop when Owen gets defensive, TK wants a relationship with him over anything else

Why would it be any different for Enzo?

Why wouldn’t he see the best in the man who was there when Owen wasn’t?

[aspiringsophrosyne]

I've been avoiding Arcane S2 spoilers, so this might be a freezing cold take for those of you who haven't been, but what the hell. I'll throw this prediction out there before the season starts:

One of the big themes this time around is going to be Enemy of my Enemy. We'll see multiple forces clashing who will be forced to work together when they're blindsided by something worse.

So.

Initially: Jinx vs. Vi.

Until: Holy shit, Warwick!!

And initially: Zaun vs. Piltover

Until: Holy shit, Noxus!!

Like I said, probably a freezing cold take that everybody else has already cottoned onto, but eh. Just for fun.

[napoleonic-sexyman-tournament]

Propaganda under the Read More:

Thomas-Alexandre Dumas:

a. “mustache” b. “Tall! Daring! Swashbuckling! A devoted husband and father! Had a personal conflict with Napoleon! Also it was said he could, while holding onto a bar above his head, LIFT A HORSE WITH HIS THIGHS. How is he not on this list ten times already! Vote for General Dumas!” c. “He was so hot that he inspired The Three Musketeers, The Count of Monte Cristo, and many more books that his son, Alexandre Dumas, wrote. He definitely looked the part of a sexyman, as he son recounts in his memoirs: "My father, as already stated, was twenty-four, and as handsome a young fellow as could be found anywhere. His complexion was dark, his eyes of a rich chestnut colour […]. His teeth were white, his lips mobile, his neck well set on his powerful shoulders, and, in spite of his height of five feet nine inches, he had the hands and feet of a woman. These feet were the envy of his mistresses, whose shoes he was very rarely able to put on." He could crush you between his thighs: "His free colonial life had developed his strength and prowess to an extraordinary degree; he was a veritable American horse-lad, a cowboy. His skill with gun or pistol was the envy of St. Georges and Junot. And his muscular strength became a proverb in the army. More than once he amused himself in the riding-school by passing under a beam, and lifting his horse between his legs." He was so badass he could beat 13 men with 4 and take all the enemy prisoner, and defend against hundreds of men on a bridge by himself. He performed these acts of valour numerous times in Italy. He was so formidable that the Austrians named him the "Schwartz Teufel", or the Black Devil, and his feat at the bridge earned him the moniker of "Horatius Cocles of Tyrol". He wasn't afraid to stand up to his morals and protest against unfair treatment. When unjust executions by the guillotine were happening outside his quarters, he closed the blinds of his curtains, earning him the nickname "Mr. Humanity". When in the Vendée, he complained about the wanton indiscipline in his troops. When in Italy, Berthier wrongly reported his actions as one of "observation" in St. Antonio. Dumas wrote to General Bonaparte that if Berthier was in the same position, he would have shit his pants. Dumas abhorred plunder, never exhorted the locals, and ordered the Directory agent who had come to persuade him otherwise be shot if he dared present himself to Dumas again. Integrity and a sense of moral justice is sexy, mark my words. For Dumas' final qualifier as a sexyman, look no further than this Tumblr heritage post (https://www.tumblr.com/petermorwood/133803437020/hortensevanuppity-elodieunderglass), with 300,000 notes and counting. And I quote: "- daddy general dumas was an immense fierce french warrior who was a 6 foot plus, stunningly gorgeous and charismatic Black gentleman - he invaded egypt - the native egyptians said “is this napoleon? this must be napoleon. we for one welcome our majestic new overlord” - then napoleon showed up - napoleon has all the presence of yesterday’s plain Tesco hummus - the native egyptians were like “… no… no, we’ve thought very hard and we’ll have General Dumas actually” - this did not make napoleon happy - in fact it made him jealous - napoleon felt so emasculated that he launched a campaign of revenge against General Dumas, including taking away his pension, that probably inspired a lot of Alexandre’s rather satisfying scenes in which fathers are nobly avenged and the money-grubbing villains are rubbed in the mud" I rest my case. Tl;dr: He was so hot he inspired multiple books, he was a stronk man who could crush you between his thighs or carry you like a sack of potatoes, and he was so badass that he could take on odds of 1 to 3. He had a foul mouth but a heart of gold and his actions were never self-serving. Posts relating to him on Tumblr have had 300,000 notes and counting. He is qualitatively and quantitatively qualified to be a sexyman.”

Pyotr Bagration:

a. “From what I’ve read, he was a shy sweetheart outside of war, and an absolutely badass during battle. Like- it was partially that shyness that got him caught up in his less than favorable marriage. Also, have you seen his portrait by George Dawes?! It makes me swoon at the sight of it.” b. “The best, the sexiest and certainly the greatest NOSE in the Russian army and perhaps all armies of that period. Noseys of Napoleonic era, beware! Believed to be a target of Grand Duchess Catherine Pavlovna's affections, a soldier's soldier celebrated for his courage and spirit, respected even by Napoleon and widely beloved… with the noted exceptions of his own wife and one Barclay de Tolly.” c. “His sideburns and his nose”

[jacobsnicket]

fictober day 11: "well, that worked out great + @asouefanworkevent woevember day 1: violet's inventions | a series of unfortunate events | T

read on ao3

As soon as he smelled the smoke, Bertrand had jumped from his seat in the parlor. There were multiple fire extinguishers in every room, but he made sure to take an extra one with him as he followed the smell, just in case. You never knew what could happen in these cases, especially since the smell seemed to be coming from Violet’s room—

Oh, goodness, Violet. Was she alright? How large had the fire gotten? Has it already reached her?

Violet was smart, Bertrand reassured himself, and old enough to take care of herself. If she hadn’t put it out already, she probably would have gotten to safety by now.

He didn’t want to consider what would happen if he hadn’t.

The door to Violet’s room nearly flew off its hinges as Bertrand burst in, fire extinguisher aloft. “Violet? Are you in there?”

There was no fire, at least as far as he could see. The smoke was coming from the toaster sitting in front of Violet, half-deconstructed and looking very angry, or at least as angry as a toaster could be. Violet, for the matter, just looked sheepish. “Well… that worked out great.”

“What on earth were you doing?”

“I was just trying to disassemble the toaster, Father, I’m sorry—”

“Before you touch anything, you need to take the power source out first, Violet. You need to be careful with these things.”

“I know, Father, I did! I don’t understand why it’s still doing that.”

“Let me take a look,” he said, gently taking the toaster out of her hands. The metal was still hot, but Bertrand was used to it. “You really need to be more careful, Violet. What if you had set off one of the smoke alarms? We’d all end up sopping wet.”

He really needed to go in and remove those, they were useless. Half the time they knew there was a fire long before the alarms noticed, not to mention the dangers they posed to books. An old friend had told him about that once.

Bertrand did not want to think about him at the moment. He needed to focus on this damn toaster. “What were you trying to get from the toaster, anyway? We might have it in a place that’s easier to reach and won’t set the house on fire.”

“I thought I might repurpose the heating coils for the incubator I’m building for Mrs. Gershwin’s chickens.”

“Oh, goodness. Well, at least let me help you get them out then.”

[stefisdoingthings]

guys... vash having a metal grate over his heart as a symbol of how emotionally unavailable and unwilling to trust truly he is....guys... metal grate over his heart symbolising he can't accept the love of others...guys.......

[sergle]

I think my favorite thing about doing ginger red hair instead of cherry red hair is: lying to people about it

[stuckinapril]

You guys don’t know how much yearning for Baghdad takes up of my mental real estate

[puhpandas]

the fact that the interview implied that ruin is the actual ending for the glamrocks as we know them and they're just going to be stuck there to rot and degrade until their happy ending is finally shutting down and being free of suffering like good god😭

[ajxrn-archive]

I need to be put in a waffle iron or something

[myfaveisfuckable]

1.

2.

3.

[yourqueenb]

“Drew only does casual”

“Drew doesn’t do commitment”

Ok that’s fine, but girl are you good with that??