#this was originally just the first scene bc I was thinking about them getting fostered

[waitineedaname]

Ed and Al's mother died when they were very young, and their father left when they were even younger. Izumi and Sig could not replace the mother and father they lost, but perhaps they could parent them all the same.

happy October 3rd! in honor of the Elrics burning their house down, I've written 7k of them and their other set of parental figures <3 the Curtis-Elric family is everything to me

[bitchinlyras]

somethings i noticed in the pilot for my first rewatch/watching back to back with 5x16

- brennan is wayyy less rational and way more hot headed in this than later seasons. it’s almost like her temper was her original mask for her emotions and later on it’s her rationality becomes her mask bc that’s the most neutral approach and least likely to hurt others (ie the people she comes to care about)

- in saying that peter also gives the reason they broke up as her being too cold and detached. brennan doesn’t even seem angry and seems more annoyed than anything when he breaks into her apartment. she doesn’t seem to care much about him at all.

- but what’s lovely to see is that she and angela are SUCH good friends. not only is angela picking her up from the airport (and helps her beat up the home security guard) but angela is the one brennan confides in later on when she’s worried about her ability to connect with people. angela nails it on the head when she says brennan’s problem is that she connects TOO much which is why she puts up a wall to keep her distance — this is very similar to something booth tells her later on in the series. and on that both booth and angela give brennan the same advice during the episode (to offer something of herself up to build trust). brennan only does this AFTER angela has also given her this advice. angela is truly the first person brennan trusted/let into her life after the disappearance of her parents, and without that friendship i don’t know if she would’ve been able to build her foundation with booth.

- it’s SO funny that the only way booth can get ahold of brennan is to literally have home security take her into custody — ofc when they wrote this they weren’t writing it in the context of 5x16, but watching it in that context and THAT being the reason brennan doesn’t want to see him is ssooo interesting

- brennan also doesn’t gaf about being taken into holding. i feel like this is in line with her whole disrespect for authority (which extends to booth as a cop/agent at this point) that stems from her time in foster care. she’s more annoyed once she realises that booth was behind the whole thing.

- the fact that brennan doesn’t want to work with booth is interesting given that she has already written him into her book. some part of her knows that working with him is interesting and compelling even if she doesn’t want to admit that yet. it’s also so disconcerting to see how much she just straight up dislikes him at the start. like they truly do come so far throughout the show.

- booth being eager to work with brennan again is also interesting given that (one of) the last time they saw each other, she slapped him. he’s clearly not been able to stop thinking about the idea of working with her and how much good they could do together by catching murderers, despite their last unfortunate interactions.

- the whole shooting range scene/“prove it, be a cop” is absolutely dripping with sexual tension. given how antagonistic most of their interactions have been up to this point it’s the first time we see them properly play with and enjoy the tension between them. i think in the boneheads podcast emily said that she and david chose to play into the tension more in that scene than what was originally written. it definitely works and sets up the tension between them for the rest of the series.

- moving away from our main two — hodgins is barely in this?? and doesn’t have much interaction with the others except i’m group scenes. we see in the 5x16 flashbacks he’s not even friends with zack yet, and it still seems like that friendship needs to be established properly.

- you also definitely feel cam’s absence more than any of the other characters who are introduced later on. whilst goodman is a good boss/mentor, he has such an air of respect and authority there is nothing the other characters can really push against, whereas it is much more entertaining to watch cam work to be the boss and control her chaotic squints.

- anyway this is a lot longer than intended but i am excited to rewatch s1 in particular and watch how they build the relationship between bones and booth, as well as the rest of the show in general

[thetorturedlovergirl]

Today my classes got canceled bc public transport isn’t working (buses, subways, trains, etc) as drivers are on strike so I finally had the time to watch The Chuch On Ruby Road !!

Here are some of my opinions:

Ncuti Gatwa as The Doctor? AMAZING. MARVELOUS. OUTSTANDING.

I know we get to see him in The Giggle, but that's just a fraction of what we get to see in this episode. I love his energy, his voice, and how nice and approachable he seems as The Doctor. You can see that he loves his job and that he loves being The Doctor, and that he will crush this job.

ALSO ALL OF HIS CLOTHES !! HE COULD USE A TRASH BAG AND STILL MAKE IT LOOK CLASSY AND STYLISH I SWEAR. I WANT TO SEE ALL OF THE OUTFITS HE WILL WEAR IN THIS SEASON.

AND MILLIE GIBSON? LOVE HER. LOOOOVE HER. Her accent is magnificent, her personality, her EVERYTHING. I know I’ll love Ruby Sunday very much (I already do, I can’t hate companions).

HER OUTFITS ARE ALSO GORGEOUS !! I know they’ll be fighting for their lives with cunty outfits this new season and I’m all here for it.

It’s funny how she just roll with everything like she wasnt that shocked as I’d have expected. It was like “oh this alien who had a hot wet summer with Harry Houdini is helping me save the foster baby that just came to my home from this coincidence-eating goblings? yeah ok valid.”

I’m so excited to know her origins. I don’t know if I really care who her biological mother is, BECAUSE CARLA IS HER MOTHER AND SHES WONDERFUL. But I want to know what RTD has in mind for her and where she comes from. I have my theories but they’re like… trashy and stupid so I want to know what the real deal will be.

The thing I love most about RTD episodes are how he shows that companions still have families outside of their TARDIS life. Like with some other companions I felt like it was like, three episodes where their family appeared and then they were just gone forever.

Rose and Jackie, Martha and Francine, Donna and Sylvia. I loved these interactions and how much it affected the companions and the whole plot. So Carla being present in Ruby’s life and the series is something important for me and I’m really looking forward to see how her interactions will affect.

Now, to the goblings…

Look, the whole gobling situation was really bizarre and funny. It made me really uncomfortable when the camera zoomed to their faces and I couldn’t stop thinking “why are they doing that? It looks like when my friends took really bad zoomed pictures”. It didn’t happened like, one time, IT WAS EVERY TIME. Also, when they jumped and danced was really funny and so strange they looked like Mii characters.

WHEN JANICE GLOBING STARTED SINGING!! THAT IS CINEMA!!. Her saying the many ways they could eat Lulubelle (I agree with the doctor, that is a great name), I was shocked, I couldn’t stop laughing and how silly the whole scene was.

Idk why people hate The Doctor and Ruby’s song. I heard many people criticizing the lyrics but the song was actually good. It was improvised by The Doctor and Ruby so it couldn’t be majestic (not like the gobling song lol), but they did great with what they had. I would have made a mess and just start singing something cringy just to annoy them, so Ruby really killed it with those lyrics. And the vocals? GOD THE VOCALS. I LOVE HOW MILLIE AND NCUTI SING!! IM REALLY EXCITED FOR THAT BEATLES EPISODE NOW (I was before watching TCORR bc im a huge Beatles fan but now that I heard them sing? ohh I can’t wait).

The resolution was meh but I was more interested in the characters so I didn’t rally cared tbh I wasn’t expecting it to be something astounding.

Overall, I loved the episode as as a whole (4/5) and I think is a good first episode for Ncuti and Millie.

WELL NOW WE JUST HAVE TO WAIT UNTIL TOMORROW !! NEW EPISODES AAAA

[borealiszero]

s*sss reading rant

So scum villain was said to be a satire on stallion novel right? Like the og LBH is a bloodthirsty, powerful demon lord that has 300+ wife which is the fantasy of some of the reader. Airplane didn't intend to write it as porn but since the readers wants it that way and he lost the backup to his original draft, he went that way.

Shen Yuan was angry cause he saw the potential that could have be with PIDW, and the treatment of Bingge. Thats why he keep reading it. To see if it ever gets better. And then he entered the book.

Okay the first point is, the satire on stallion novel. OG Binghe has no good support system, where he can rely on anyone for safety. That's why he get stronger and keep getting wives, cause he's lonely. He doesn't have anyone that can keep him safe, no one he can rely on emotionally, so he compensate it with strength, wealth and vanity. So to turn that table around, Binghe in SVSSS could avoid being that by have him making friends, build connection with his fellow martial siblings. It helps him foster a sense of connectivity, fellowship and safety, where he can rely on them. He needs a good support system so he can thrive. But I didn't see that. All we get was just SQQ just stopped the bullying and gave him the correct manual, and also guidance in learning and thats it. What about his emotional support? Making friends? Ning Yingying can't be his only friend, what about others? Where's his slice of life disciple era?? That's the best part of any novel!! That's the part where we can look back and 'hey remember the disciple era? Yeah such a peaceful time' and let them mourn the innocence of that time.

Second point is the wives. Now that LBH is not interested in taking wives, what will happen to theme? Well. I'm also disappointed in this one cause they barely came up. For example NYY. We only get that she's much more sensible now, not whether she's great at cultivation, what is she great in, whats her interest etc. Its just that she's sensible. And the others too like Liu mingyan, like she's a great sword cultivator, where's her scene? Personally i kinda wanna see her relationship with liu qingge, i just love seeing siblings in stories. Also the part where's she's a fujoshi? We have POTENTIAL TRANS ALLERT with that. We could go trans man liu mingyan route! Cause that's how I find out im trans. Bc of yaoi. Not proud of that honestly everyone else has cool egg cracking stories. Anyway also the tian triplet, the palace mistress, we have so SO much potential with the female cast yet they were mentioned once or twice and that's it. We could also go the lesbian route! Cause lesbian ftw.

Third point is Shen Yuan/Shen Qingqiu himself. Honestly I do not think he has any romantic relationship with LBH. All that I read frm him is that he views Binghe as his student, his protege, his son. That's it. Yes, he is an unreliable narrator but I can still read how he views LBH. Honestly the scene where he mourns for Binghe is one of the parts that I hate in scum villain cause everyone keep saying that 'omg the characters are saying that SQQ is mourning for binghe like a wife for her dead husband' yeah ofc they said that cause the author wrote it like that!!! You still have to remember that EVERYTHING here is written by someone!! It's not like the characters do that by themselves, it is WRITTEN by the author. Like, can't a teacher mourn for his favourite student? A father for his son? Does death meant nothing to anyone else other than a wife? I really can't deal with the pairing, especially at the ending where sqq leaves qing jing peak to be lbh stay at home husband like???? You know that's not good right? Like. That's just a normal het novel ending. The difference is there's no baby or pregnancy. He became a house wife?? Shen Qingqiu?? The head of Scholarly Peak?? you're denying him to thrive!!! Why would you do that!!! Like sqq would do that for binghe BUT THAT'S NOT GOOD FOR HIM!!! Why the hell eve bother with the stallion satire when you made the one guy that managed to capture the protagonist heart into a house wife!!

And bonus point, I've heard that it's a satire on danmei novels but like. If it's true than I'm just gonna laugh my guts out. THIS NOVEL?? SATIRE ON DANMEI??? GET THE HELL OUTTA HERE MAN. It got possessive protagonist, non consent stuff, unhealthy relationship, all the stuff that 2000's yaoi is prime at. If you wanna read a satire on danmei you better off reading A Smile from the Villain by Xi Zixu. It's a dark novel. Not a happy ending, with the way it carries the tropes and all is perfect satire. I can't finish it cause the ml is a real creepy yandere. That's a good one right there.

And lastly, their romance. It's unhealthy. It's a one sided relationship, where the other were forced. What's the damn difference with Bingge than? Other than one guy vs 300 girls? To be a good satire, he can go on two routes, either a happy romantic relationship Where he love the person and the other loves him back equally, or second, he doesn't form any romantic relationship and is happy bc he thrives in his platonic relationships with his fellow martial siblings, friends etc. Also we can go the heartbroken route, where his love is rejected by sqq but he learns that a forced love is one of the worst thing you could do to your lived ones, and learn to let go. All this are a good option to defy the stallion tropes.

Unfortunately, s*sss is not what it could have live up to, and I am cursed with vision of ehat it could have been, I am the Shen Yuan to S*sss.

IT COULD HAVE BERN GOOD AND IM SO MAD!!!!!!!

Her work again cause svssd ruined her work for me. Its a turn off for me. Sorry ...

[we-are-inevitable]

long distance javid that starts on tumblr: well-known fan creator edition

(thank you @roideny for listening to me rant!)

jack kelly is a fanartist who starts posting his digital works when he's about 13 and by the time he's 17, he's well known in the fandom he creates for. he gets requests, he does commissions, he uses it as a way to save for college- and also because it's fun and he likes drawing his silly little favorite characters doing their silly little tasks. he has a separate blog for non-fandom pieces (anything from OCs to scans of his traditional paintings, even the odd piece of vent art) and that gets a lot of traction, too. jack kelly rises to Ikimaru/Viria/Burdge level fame on tumblr and its all just this 17 year old Mexican kid with a silly little drawing tablet his foster mom got him as an adoption gift.

david jacobs is a fic writer, and a well-known one at that. he started when he was about 12 and unsupervised, writing really bad Percy Jackson fanfic on wattpad, like any young gay should. his fics started gaining traction and as they did so, his skill became better too; by the time he's 17, he's cracking out chapter fics and fleshing out huge complex AUs. a lot of people follow along for his NaNoWriMo content and original works as well, like his poetry or original fiction pieces, but a LOT of his followers come from his fanfics. his AO3 has at least 85 works and he's one of those people who has thousands of hits on his works bc he's just really good (even if he doesn't think he deserves it). you know how sometimes, you read a fic, and it kind of changes your outlook on life for a bit? davey's the fic writer who creates that. he wants to be in the editing/writing business and he's making it known.

anyway!

jack and dave meeting over tumblr bc theyre in the same fandom. becoming mutuals, constantly rbing each other's stuff, tagging each other in posts, the works. they REALLY start interacting by jack drawing scenes from davey's fics and davey writing little drabbles inspired by jack's fanart, and pretty soon they're kind of Known in the fanon circle- people see one of them, and immediately think of the other.

soon, they start talking about more than just fandom stuff and find out that they're the same age, they like the same stuff, theyve been in the same fandoms for A While and just never put two and two together. and though they live pretty far from each other, their friendship is like. Cemented. they exchange other socials and start video chatting, facetiming, discord voice calls, etc. and are so In Like with each other but also long distance is Scary and Not Ideal and they're both embarrassed to say they met their crush on tumblr anyway so they just ignore it

and this goes on for YEARS. they FINALLY meet up when they both go to a con- as fans, but eventually they'll be vendors (jack for his art and davey for his eventual book series)- and they click instantly. i imagine they do some pretty sick Percy Jackson cosplays, bc i love headcanoning that they both grew up with it, and they have so much fun together. they stay up so late talking about anything and everything, they fall asleep next to each other even though there's another bed in the room, and they both wake up red-faced and awkward bc Wow He Looks Pretty With The Sunrise In His Eyes.

(side note: i imagine they share a hotel room, but Medda and Esther share a room as well, and they become close friends throughout the weekend! these boys aren't completely unsupervised.)

they both part ways- Jack going to New York and Davey going back to Chicago- but their friendship is just that much more important. they talk every day, from junior year of high school to sophomore year of college, and when they FINALLY get together for real, it's at another con. they've both moved onto different fandoms but they're still SO close and just ,, jack, 20, having his first ever booth at a con, and asking davey to come for "moral support" but really he just wants to see him. davey helps him run his booth, helps restock and sell and run the "business" side of things. and when it's less busy, jack beta reads some of davey's new work, but the majority of the time they're just. talking. they stay in the same hotel room that night and it's one of those "i really want to hold him but i don't want to be weird" moments and it's so painfully obvious that they like each other but they're both Really scared of distance

and boom! they kiss in the hotel and the rest is history.

i think ,, davey transferring colleges to be closer to jack, and they move in together once he's For Sure going to school in the city. jack isn't going to school, he's an artist full-time, and his commissions and prints/stickers/mugs/merch/etc. rake in enough to pay the bills, plus with davey's added income from his part time job, they live modestly but comfortably.

once davey graduates, he starts sending his book- one he's been working on and editing and worldbuilding since before he even knew jack- out to editors, and then publishers, and eventually its hitting the shelves in every major bookstore in the country because it's such a hit.

and david gets to brag that his husband drew the cover art.

[misalpav]

Thor: Love and Thunder Spoiler Review

Ik it’s been two days since I saw the movie. I’ve been too busy to post sryyyyy.

MAJOR SPOILERS BEYOND CUT YOU'VE BEEN WARNED

ok so overall idk it wasn't bad but also wasn't good? I think that was the general consensus of the ppl I watched it with

Things I liked

I'm gonna get to the main cast but MATT DAMON SIR I LOVE YOU. I'm so used to watching the guy kick ass so watching that ridiculous play with him as Loki >>>>>. I got the fact that he cameos spoiled but not like this lmfao 💀

ALSO I LOVED THE TWO GOATS LMAO

Thor - ok appearance-wise I was honestly lmao at the beginning during the transition from that recluse look to what essentially looked like a teen gang leader (BUT ALSO LEATHER JACKET MY BELOVED)

And I mean he was funny

Christian Bale as Gorr damn

KORGGGG I LOVED HIM SO MUCH. My heart almost stopped when the lightning bolt went through him but the scene at the end when he makes a baby with Dwayne <333

also the allusion to Dwayne “The Rock” was hilarious

Jane - I LOVE HER but I wish they slowed down a bit with her character arch. I loved when she introduced herself as Dr. Jane Foster or Mighty Thor though.

AND INTRODUCING MIGHTY THOR J TO KILL HER WTF MARVEL

Valkyrie was queen as always and that moment when she kissed the hand of the girl at Omnipotence <3333

And on that note them showing trans rep with Axel was rly nice

I LOVED THAT SCENE WHERE THOR GAVE HIS POWERS TO ALL THE KIDS AND IT MADE THE LIGHTNING TREE THING OMG it was beautiful

Ok but when they showed that domestic scene with Thor and Gorr’s daughter my first thought was Uncle Loki :’) which I immediately shared with ms. @janetsnakehole02​ effectively bringing us both to near tears

HERCULESSSSSSSSS I’M SO HAPPY OMG HE’S IN THE MCU AND HE’S BRETT GOLDSTEIN AKDJHDKFKAUFJHLAU

one thing I suspect though is now that they’ve brought the necrosword and also the concept of celestials and symbiotes into the MCU they’ll also introduce Knull as the next Thanos-level villain in the villain and that’s exciting. I mean, look at him: 

Things I disliked

it felt like there were many plot holes lmao like why was Jane able to destroy the necrosword?? why couldn't Thor ask Eternity for Jane back??

The trailers were misleading, I expected more Guardians of the Galaxy tbh

I think there was a lot left out on Thor plot-wise. There was a lot of potential to explore his emotions with the loss of his family but there was just so much of Jane x Thor I think they should’ve toned down the ship and brought up the family feelings

I feel like Gorr was underdeveloped. We saw him getting his motivation but really nothing else about him. What was his civilization like? Were the gods ever good to his people??

It also felt like there was less plot more jokes which was kind of underwhelming

I think Valkyrie was underutilized

I wish they showed some of Thor’s family in Valhalla though seeing Heimdall was nice

ALSO WHY THE HELL DID ZEUS HAVE AN ITALIAN ACCENT??? it was weird tbh

I also noticed a BUNCH of parallels to Loki and Thor in dark world that they recreated with Jane and Thor and tbh why???? It just didn’t feel as original after that

Idk just overall something was missing

Rating: 4/10 - I might rewatch it for a few scenes but I don’t really care enough to rewatch the whole movie. I’m kind of disappointed bc even though I had low expectations for this movie something about it being a Thor movie and the fact that I just generally like Thor movies made it even more disappointing when I didn’t love it.

[oswald-privileges]

ALL RIGHT BUT YOU ASKED FOR IT

Power of Three as a series is just. full of weaknesses, most of which come down to poor continuity and structure. I'm not gonna try and fix ALL of those, bc that'd be laborious as hell, but I will pick out things that I feel are the most egregious as case studies.

What Po3 does have, tho, is an absolutely shining strength in the concept of its three main characters. After twelve books of Blandly Heroic Protagonist Syndrome, Jayfeather is an absolute godsend. He's angry! He's rude! He's unhappy! He's not nice. I Love Him And He's My Son. Lionblaze has his invincible pride (hah) and emergent bloodlust, and Hollyleaf has her moral absolutism and certainty. These are good starting points for characters. Sadly, the lack of continuity undermines what could have been three really good character arcs.

So! I present to you:

HOW TO MAKE "WARRIORS: THE POWER OF THREE" NOT COMPLETELY SUCK ACCORDING TO MY PERSONAL TASTE; A NON-EXHAUSTIVE, NON-CONSECUTIVE LIST BY ME

ONE

- Have there be a persistant, overarching series threat. Sol is a character with amazing villain potential who does literally nothing except hang around, and do exactly 2 Bad Things completely off-screen. This Is Not Good.

- Instead, have him be present from the second book onwards- initially introduced as a friendly but enigmatic outsider who is slowly revealed across the series to be a complete black hole of a personality, a social parasite quietly rearranging whatever community he's a part of to just-so-happen to benefit him as much as humanly possible. His "preach individualism not starclan" methods are not so much values as one strategy out of many. (to those who know me- yes i have a type. no i will not apologise.)

- Maybe his ultimate goal is to dissolve and centralise the clans or something so that he can live out his life as a political puppetmaster in all the cat-luxury he likes. idk it's hard to imagine overall stakes for this rewrite BECAUSE THE ORIGINAL DOESN'T HAVE ANY

TWO

- For gods sake you don't have a series based on the premise of "the main characters develop super powers" and then only have the second power confirmed by the end of the fourth book. I understand the first book mostly focusing on Jayfeather- his powers are obvious from the start, he's got the strongest personality of the three, he gets access to most of the prophecy plot stuff because of them. But you NEED to have the other two show an interest in something concrete happening to them beyond that, and you need to at least hint towards the other two having something unique to them even if nobody clocks it yet.

- Have Jayfeather tell his siblings about the prophecy by the end of book two at the latest. The amount of time he spends noodling around not sharing it with them is inexcusable. It's not that it's out of character for him to hang onto a secret for a bit, it's just that there's no point and it slows everything down. It would be equally in character for him to go to his siblings and be like "look, i'm SPECIAL. well you as well but ALSO ME". Boy starts off as desperate for recognition, what can I say

THREE

- Have Jayfeather discover that StarClan don't withhold signs or information on purpose for the sake of "building courage and faith" or whatever nonsense. Seeing and communicating the future is metaphysically very difficult, so interpreting signs and messages is a genuine skill, or even an art. The cats of StarClan, however, really are just ghosts, much more similar to living cats than the currently living believe. This is the impotus for Jayfeather's discarding of his reverence for StarClan, which remains consistent throughout the series.

- Have Hollyleaf and Jayfeather both still change their cat careers in the first book, but put place more attention on the fact that they basically switched jobs. Have a scene where they end up yelling at each other, because can't the other see how lucky they have it? The tension breaks when they realise they've both lost something important to them- Jayfeather his chance to prove he's as capable as a sighted cat, and Hollyleaf her path to helping her clan in the way she thinks is best. They commiserate together, and reluctantly promise to do the best they can with their lots, so they don't waste the path the other wishes they'd taken. This closeness is eroded over the series as they disagree more and more on the subject of StarClan and its role in their moral choices and obligations.

FOUR

- Speaking of Hollyleaf! I nearly threw my phone across the room when the first Omen of the Stars book claimed that Hollyleaf "worked so hard to discover her power to help her clan". Where, Ms Erins??? I would have LOVED to have seen that!! Hollyleaf expresses absolutely no concern over the details of what power she has/will develop, and only has a couple of scenes even touching on her ambitions to help her clan. She has some vague ideas about becoming leader and like one scene where she gets to do some leadery things, but that never gets followed up on. What does happen is that the whole "warrior code" thing becomes more and more a part of her personality (for no clear reason) until she snaps.

- Hollyleaf going off the deep end is something I wanted so badly to get into and be moved by, because I could see where it comes from! Her moral certainty is fascinating, especially since it's based in something as abstract as the warrior code- which, when you think about it, isn't really... anything. There's no concrete set of rules that make it up, no traditional wording or cat philosophers, not even any fables. It's a handful of agreed-upon, common sense rules- don't cross boundaries, don't take prey that isn't yours, respect your ancestors, and don't murder. That's it!

- So, combining the above points, I think Hollyleaf not being one of the Three should stay, but both the audience and the characters are given good reason to believe she is. By around the third volume, make it so that Hollyleaf has found that her power is to get cats to "Do The Right Thing"- i.e. what she wants them to do. She sneaks off often to see Sol, who teachs her how to use this power. Her siblings are concerned about this new power, having already gotten a glimpse at what Sol can do, but she's confident that she can only use this power for good. Volume-specific plot happens, Sol manipulates her into causing him to win, she is shocked and horrified, and vows to stick ridgedly to what she knows is right i.e. The Warrior Code

- However, the more fervently she tries to stick to this abstract idea, the less it gives her results, the more her power seems to be failing. Believing that StarClan is taking her power away from her, she becomes caught up in a faith-guilt spiral that puts her in the position to snap at the end of the series. By that point it's clear to her siblings that Hollyleaf has no power- she was just very, very good at persuading people to do what she wanted.

FIVE

- Lionblaze is a girl now because I Said So. This Cat Is Trans And There's Nothing You Can Do About It.

- Her relationship with Heathertail stays the same- childhood sweethearts who are torn apart as they begin to understand the nature of the societal divides that exist between them.

- This can be used to contextualise the whole "half clan/outsider blood" thing as a cultural contradiction. In reality, inter- and outer- clan relationships aren't at all rare. They can't be, otherwise the whole society would be inbred out of existence in like five generations. But if at least one society of humans can spend a good 200 years pretending Sex Is Bad And Sinful Actually then cats can have persistant cat-racism in the face of all logic. Heathertail clocks this contradiction, Lionblaze doesn't.

- Her relationship-to-power arc doesn't need changing all that much either, other than starting much sooner and being more consistent. At first, she's completely overjoyed by her power, since unlike her siblings, it lines up so well with her ambition- become the finest warrior any of the clans have to offer. As the berserker rage aspect becomes more prevelent, she becomes more and more disturbed by the fact that she isn't disturbed by what she can do, and that she doesn't want the escalation of her power to stop.

- Tigerstar still does his thing, but Brambleclaw knows about it. He recognises the signs from when his father used to visit him, and tries to train Lionblaze in his own way. She ends up caught between wanting to be a good warrior, and testing the limits of her power.

SIX

- Jayfeather can stay basically the same because he's my perfect little angy boy and nothing needs to change. His arcs can be strengthened by having a more robust relationship with Yellowfang where they try to out-bitch each other, and coming to terms with his internalised ablism. Maybe he has a chat with Mothwing about faith a couple of times. Him furiously lashing out at being offered help transitions into an acceptence and understanding of his abilities more naturally. He never stops being A Grumpy Old Man.

- All fucking past-lives unexplained time travel goes in the BIN. Doesn't fucking happen. You can have that lore dump sprinkled across the books, or come from going deep into the tunnels and having a surreal meeting. Make it properly eldritch-level scary, shake Jayfeather's confidence in the idea of them being just a bunch of ghosts.

SEVEN

- Have the way Brambleclaw and Squirrelflight present very clearly as parents to the Three be explicitly, textually unusual. One of the things I liked so much about the first series was an almost total lack of emphasis on who was mated with who, and who was related or not. It felt very real to how feral cat colonies form, where raising kittens is a communal job. This gets completely dropped the moment series 2 starts and now the cats have monogamy.

- This emphasis on the family unit and fostering close relationships between parents and kittens is deliberate on the part of both Leafpool and Squirrelflight. Their aim is to cover for Leafpool so she doesn't lose her role as medicine cat- something she already gave up Crowfeather for before she was pregnant.

- In that little bit of backstory, have a robust reason for both Leafpool and Squirrelflight to leave the camp while Leafpool is pregnant and giving birth, possibly one that ties into the present day story in some minor way. I don't know how, it would just make that element of the story a lot more ground than "we left, the kits were born, then we came back and everyone was cool with it"

- When it comes to the "I am Not your mother" reveal, Jayfeather and Lionblaze are confused and hurt that they were lied to, but come to the reasonable conclusion that well, since they were raised mostly by Squirrelflight, saw Leafpool often, and are loved by both, they don't hate her. Lionblaze has something of a crisis over being half-clan, possibly initiating an attempted reunion with Heathertail. Jayfeather is more concerned with how other cats will think it makes him lesser, something he's still sensitive too.

- Hollyleaf, meanwhile, completely fucking snaps at the way her mother Violated Part Of The Code. It's a completely irrational reaction, but expected because she's been growing more and more reliant on The Code for the whole series, and less and less stable in her attempts to aid her clan and train to be its new leader.

- Squirrelflight is the one to murder Ashfur. This is easy to work out while reading- she's literally the only one of the four with a motive who isn't a perspective character. The mystery is less around finding out who did it, and more about why she did it (it's very ambiguous as to whether it was an accident or not). The main tension comes from who finds out when.

- Lionblaze is shocked, awed by how far she'd go to protect the three of them, and reassures her she did the right thing (as a way to salve her own uncertainty over her own longing for violence). Jayfeather makes it all about himself because he's Jayfeather- upset that he didn't know immediately, instead of, you know, figuring it out in a few hours because he can basically read minds. They try their best to hide it from Hollyleaf, who is already rattling around the final volume as a full-on antagonist, but are unsuccessful. This almost costs them something incredibly important- possibly Squirrelflight's life.

EIGHT

- the whole plot with the Tribe Of Rushing Water is a MASSIVE can of worms that could be removed from the series without issue. As it is:

- Characterize the Tribe as uncertain of how to fight other cats, because yes, they haven't had to do this before. DON'T characterise them as pathetic, doing whatever their leader says without thinking, and with ancestors who have Given Up

- Have some of the Tribe be really good at the violence. Worryingly good. Have others be sickened by what they're being asked to do.

- Have some of the clan cats reflect on what they've done. Hollyleaf would be all for introducing this society to jesus The Code, but even she might be horrified at being thanked by a tribe cat who can't wait to get out there and win themselves glory, only to be killed a few hours later

- The Tribe begin a new tradition of marking the walls in the mud they use as camoflage in order to commemorate their battles, and memorialise the fallen. One of the characters reflects on the fact that in a generation or two, the Tribe will feel like it's always been this way. How many of their own traditions- those that feel almost like natural law- started out the same way?

- Have Sol as the leader of the invaders, or maybe having insinuated himself into the tribe as a "mediator" and doing his charismatic cult leader thing.

NINE

- Cinderheart isn't a reincarnation of Cinderpelt. She's just named after her bc Cinderpelt saved her mother from a badger. this is because I think the reincanation thing is stupid and I can't think of a way to make it good.

TEN

- No more using tails as hand gestures like covering people's mouths. Never. None of it. It's expunged from existence.

Disclaimer: I haven't read Omen of the Stars yet, so I can't account for anything that might happen in that series that's grounded in Po3. I'm like... two thirds of the way through the first volume. I'm Not Impressed.

[milf-harrington]

okay bc i love tay @babydotcom and also bc i love talking about my original work im gonna talk about my books!!

so at the moment, im writing 2 of them! one of them is Nobodies Hero, a fantasy tale that is mostly narrated by a grouchy side-character and i have a sideblog that's basically a collection of my world building from the past 5 years and any posts i see that fit the characters or the world (@nobodieshero-lore)

the other is much newer (started maybe a month and a half ago) and is more of an urban fantasy called Arson: and other crimes which is basically going to follow the main cast through all the supernatural shenanigans and self growth they go through.

at the moment Arson is more of a concept? i have yet to figure out an actual plot, i've actually been trying a new approach to writing where i build all the characters first! most of my notes for Arson are just short scene snippets and dialogue, such as:

Time seemed to slow as the siren exploded from the flaming water, droplets of fire raining down around her as she reached out her webbed claws and exposed those horrifying needle-like teeth in a shrill scream of rage. It was awesome and terrifying, and Jai was forced to admit that maybe this time they wouldn’t be so lucky, maybe this time he was going down in a blaze of fish-scented glory. And then the scream was cut off as, with a sudden hollow sounding thwack, the siren’s head snapped to the side, the rest of her body thrown off course as she veered to the left and landed with a wet smack against the cement, a trail of slimy fire left in her wake. Kauri was standing in front of him with a thick metal pipe held tightly in their hands, hair a mess of thorns and ash as their shoulders heaved with each angry breath. Flickering orange light danced across their skin, the flames reflected in the dryads furious eyes as a new vine of thorns curled past their cheek. If someone had put a gun to his head, Jai may have been able to admit that he'd fallen in love right then, but there was no gun and no questioning so Jai shoved that shit deep down where he'd never find it.

There are currently 8 characters official characters, but i intend to make more bc 2 out of the 8 are mostly side characters/helpers.

uh we've got:

Jai, who is the quiet but stern researcher teaching himself magic; he mostly communicates through facial expressions and single sentences but if you get him started on whatever he's researching he can go on for ages (trans + gay)

Kauri, who is a dryad with a short temper. they're loud and passionate and also end up naked a lot because the concept of clothing makes no sense to them. my favourite thing about kauri is honestly their hair bc they've got vines that also grow from their scalp, and they grow/bloom/wild/grow thorns depending on their mood (as shown in the above snippet) (nonbinary)

Orli, who's a member of a werewolf pack. not everyone gets the lycanthrope gene, but she's just as snarly and protective as the rest of them. she works as a barista in her families cafe and she's got killer first aid skills. (asexual + lesbian)

Vince, who is Orli's older brother and did get the lycanthrope gene. he's just neat, i love him. he's usually the get away driver, or he'll bring them snacks and shit when they're on big research binges because he cares about them. he's basically a big ol' puppy (trans + bi)

[UNNAMED], who is a telepath with a weird name. her parents gave her up when she was young due to her being a "difficult and creepy child" and she kinda floated through different foster homes before she was tracked down and adopted by her uncle. She's funny and calculating, and in most situations will watch other people to figure out the best outcome for herself. she's almost always wearing a pair of headphones her uncle gave her that are warded against outside sound, so she can listen to music and block out everyone's thoughts. (lesbian)

Seftan, who's unnamed's weird but cool uncle. he's slept his way through half a bestiary and so is generally unphased by most things. he has 2 dogs and lives in a cute little 2-storey apartment/flat thing. he's either magic or knows a magic user bc he's got a lot of interesting books and wards set up and he also squints at Jai a lot. he calls unnamed a series of nicknames which are: nosy-nancy, no-name nancy, miss no-name, or just 'nancy' (inspired by nancy drew) (an opportunist)

Beau, who is a ghost from a circus! he died in the 1890's after getting stabbed to death in an argument with a sword-swallower, and is now stuck on the mortal plane bc he never got to finish his contortionist act. he's tied to a music box and gets handed around to different antique and thrift shops which is how he ends up w the rest of them.

Milo, who is possessed by an Ancient Creature and is therefore unable to stay dead. he has pretty yellow eyes, a hankering for roadkill and a whole other form that he can shift into. he's loyal as hell and genuinely doesn't see what's wrong with dying for someone he cares about, he's also mentally ill bc i think anyone would be if they were possessed and also kept dying. (demi + bi)

i think my favourite thing about Arson is that it's gonna be kind-of-not-really written like a survival guide or a diary? i don't know how to explain it properly but, like, there's gonna be random pages with tips for 'those in danger of kidnapping' or first aid or an info page on the monster/threat they're facing etc

but there's also gonna be other stuff like unnamed's playlists or what Kauri's moods are depending on their vines, or a steadily updated list of weird places Jai has been found sleeping.

uhh that's all i've really got so far without just slapping all my notes into a post so yeah! if you have any questions (or ideas?) please feel free to ask/share bc it can help with my creative process.

[realisaonum]

book meme

thank you, jen @det395​ !! i feel like this meme got away from me a bit, but no shame! i love talking about books and writing so onward ~under the cut~

1- how many books are too many books in a series? 

mhmmmmm i guess it depends on the objective of the series, right? is the plan to have x number of books in the series and if so, when we finally get to the end will it be satisfying considering all the books we’ve read leading up to it? OR is the objective of the premise / characters just to exist doing whatever? both can be done well. i would say a lot rides on how much i trust the author.

2- what do you think about cliffhangers?

so this is meant for cliffhangers in a series like between books? i don’t really care if there’s a cliffhanger as long as i have the next book sitting right next to me. otherwise uh, only if the wait between books is tolerable, because at that point you need to know that the author can clear this mess up, right? there’s this other thing, like you know how if the entire series was already written, then they might release the books a month apart or a quarter apart - that could be alright too. but years in between? not especially a fan. is anyone a fan?

3- hardback or paperback?

jen, you and me are complete opposites here. paperbacks stress me out. i will go out of my way to buy a used hardcover if given the choice. of course, there are some publications i don’t mind in paperback —thinking poetry and super indie books that don’t have a hardcover release OR books where the spines are thin enough they won’t break and i won’t be holding them long enough for them to wear. hardcovers are sturdy and i don’t have to worry i’ll accidentally bend the cover in some damaging way. I am invested in keeping my books nice to the point that i create covers for my books out of kraft paper or brown grocery bags while i am reading them. this is something i started when i was in college and didn’t want these books i was hoping to probably resell get thrashed coming in and out of my bag for all these classes. My home library is probs more half and half paperback/hardcover but if given a choice usually it’s hardcover.

4- least favourite book?

i think it’s good to at least attempt to meet a book on its level. there are lots of books i didn’t like, but i wasn’t meeting them on their level and i know that so we’re ignoring those. i do however have a shelf on my goodreads dedicated to books that i have beef with so i’ll just go off on two of them.....

tana french’s the likeness for being plagiaristic shit. it is essentially poorly concealed alternate universe OC insert fic of the secret history. you’ve got french’s dublin murder squad folks and then this group they are investigating who bear a STRIKING resemblance to the greek students in tsh 🤔. this would be one thing. it is pretty well acknowledged that nothing is original and there are enough changes to The Likeness that MAYBE i could let it slide if not for this other thing: french’s book, the likeness, has lines that are just basically reworded quotes from the secret history and french positions these lines so they are said by the counterpart (essentially same!) character that gave them original life in tsh. i cannot stress this enough: you can HEAR how similar the sentences are and their core intent is always the same. it’s thinly veiled theft! it astounds me that French hasn’t been sued frankly. it is one thing to want to capture some of the genius that tartt’s debut novel holds, but it is completely lazy and disgusting theft to go about it in the way French did with this book. and YES the secret history was published before french’s book. if i could stomach how fucking goddamn boring the likeness was to read it a second time and cite every one of these offenses i would, but that’s yet a third strike against it—it’s too boring to be worth it. 

T. Kingfisher’s second book of the Clocktuar War duology : The Wonder Engine. this is a book that i feel violated the contract between writer and reader. the first book feels almost like a YA book. the stakes while described as very high are treated, as actions unfold, as very low. nothing truly irreparable happens until the climax of the second book and the fallout of that action is so off-tone of everything that came before i felt deeply betrayed. no, like, completely betrayed as in it ruined the rest of my afternoon, i am still viscerally angry eight months later, and i will never trust this author again. sure, maybe none of those actions that led to the climax were out-of-character, but there was nothing NOTHING in the proceeding action that even came close to that level of consequence. it’s a pity because right up till that point i was having a really good time. the entire vibe of the rising action to the climax of book one all the way through the rising action of book two was just a quippy fun version of roadtrip/quest - it felt like a comfort read. the abrupt tone shift had all the subtlety of dropping a graphically, brutal murder into Blue’s Clues. you don’t do that - this is a basic tenet of a writer / reader relationship. i’m not touching this bitch’s shit again.

5- Love Triangle, yes or no?

not so much. i like jen before me will scream ‘just be poly.’ love triangles that lead into poly relationships? yes, awesome will be glad i read. but i am at a stage in my life where your standard will-they-won’t-they-love-triangle is just fucking pointlessly frustrating to me. an example: i read a Nic Stone’s book Odd One Out a couple years ago and something about the synopsis or the hype made me think that it would resolve the love triangle that way, so when that did not happen i was incredibly frustrated and immediately wanted to resell the book. it’s the potential of the thing. stone’s book could have been the perfect vehicle for opening up the concept of polyamory to a ya audience but instead just really squandered that potential with weak floundering — in my opinion!

6- the most recent book you just couldn’t finish

uhhhhh i’ve got two and i’m not sure i’ve entirely given up quite yet buuuuuuuut 

fucking dune. i got really pissed off with this book. So just…setting aside the whole vaguing at a pedophilically inclined queer coded villain - it’s done so poorly, that it's almost funny? like it doesn’t (as of half way through) actually have any consequence on…anything at all and is tacked on like an afterthought to the end of his scenes. honestly it all could just be cut out entirely with no recourse to the larger story. So my actual beef with this book is the pacing is ATROCIOUS. like yo, not only do you expect me to give a shit about these Atreides cunts, when we just met them and we spend the same amount of time with them IF NOT MORE with the antagonist? but you also expect me to believe Paul was able to just convince the leader of the Arrakis people —the leader of an entire planet!!— with a single fucking sentence??? yeah, not so much. it was not set up for me to believe that Paul could do that! maybe if Kynes hadn’t died immediately after—or at least not died at that moment? baring the fact I thought he was by far the most interesting character, IF he had been convinced by Paul in that scene, it would have been great to see some actual work done around that - with a transfer or a liaise of power between Kynes and Paul and the Fremen. By not having any substantive scene that does it - it begs the question of what the fuck was the point of the character in the first place? unplumbed potential!!! over all there seem to be some key scenes missing to get the reader to where the narrative expects us to be? but the choices made of the characters we spend time with and the moments we see with them, the benefit to the larger story…is not always there. hey herbert, these words you have written aren’t doing what you want them to?? i feel like i should finish it but i reaaaaallly don’t want to :) the only thing i can say is it looks like from the trailer, villeneueve is giving space to these moments so that the viewer can foster a genuine connection with the characters? radical concept.

our lady of perpetual hunger - i started this one optimistically bc i like chef memoirs, but i am at the point where she has just given birth to her son and honestly DON���T CARE. i still haven’t officially given up on it yet since i actually fucking bought it like a dope. i certainly would not have if i knew how much NOT about working the line this was gonna be

7- book you are currently reading

Aside from the failures mentioned above, I am working on the second book in B. Catling’s Vorrh trilogy, The Erstwhile. Also very close to finally finishing Iain Sinclair’s The Last London - there’s a review of his work from the LA Times that goes “One of Sinclair’s greatest skills has always been his ability to take diverse if not chaotic source material and refashion it in a way that sometimes seems downright alchemical” which captures some of the wonder I experience when reading his work. His style and how he creates atmosphere and setting is just unique and astounding.

8- last book you recommended to someone

The Secret History by Donna Tartt. Before that I told my brother to read Eat a Peach, as we both love Anthony Bourdain and David Chang talks about him a bit here, plus it’s just a fucking great book. any book that gives insight into Chang’s methodology and paradigm is worth a shot.

9- oldest book you read

I think it might have to be Shakespeare’s Twelfth Night (which apparently according to wiki premiered on the stage a whole four months before Hamlet so that’s what we’re going with) and if plays don’t count, I don’t care. I think they count and that’s what we’re going with.

10- the most recent book you read ?

Given the previous question, the most recently published book, right? It’s gotta be the one I just finished: The First Collection of Criticism by a Living Female Rock Critic - Revised and Expanded edt., which like just came out this summer. I watched Jessica Hopper’s promo zoom, curtesy of my local indie bookstore, and went ahead and bought it. This was a great decision! It was just what I needed to read these last couple of weeks. i love there’s lots of short pieces that made the read quick and the fact that it’s non-fiction so there was no pressure of a plot or the emotional weight of character investment when I had a lot of big stressors dragging me down irl -it was such a relief. Hopper’s criticism is fun to read and there’s some real art in her appreciation of music here.

11- favourite author?

These are the top in a kind of order but not really: Donna Tartt, Jeff VanderMeer, Megan Whalen Turner, Flannery O’Conner, Chuck Palahniuk, Anthony Bourdain

Other faves very much worth mentioning: Emily O’Neill, Richard Siken, Brandon Sanderson, Warren Ellis, Nathan Englander, Stephen King, Eddie Huang, Carl Hiaassen, Anne Carson, and Iain Sinclair.

12- buying books or borrowing books?

Depends on if my library has it, of course! I nearly always see if my library has a copy first if i have never read it or the author before. If i’ve read the book before or trust the author, I’ll buy it. Like I’ll straight out buy new stuff from Jeff VanderMeer even though with him it’s either this-hits-exactly-and-is-my-new-fave or i-really-disliked-this-but-admire-the-boundaries-you’re-pushing-my-dude - so it’s always a gamble but a worthy one.

12- a book you dislike that everyone else seems to love

a little life (just bc it's torture porn elevated to art doesn’t negate the fact that it’s torture porn. Yanagihara’s project here is repugnant and the fact that this book is lauded as moving lgbt fiction makes my skin crawl)

sharp objects (good writing, compelling story, BUT typographical scarification doesn't work like that - i am not going to get into it but i know from first hand experience how Flynn described it is not accurate)

nesbø’s the snowman (what kinda dumbass detective would think THAT when a woman finds her missing father’s corpse? absolute idiocy - so obviously reverse engineered with that end in mind)

the raven cycle (fuck ronan lynch to start and then fuck him to end as well - there’s some other stuff but mostly he’s a total CUNT and if i don’t say that once a day i have probably died)

14 - bookmarks or dogears?

Bookmarks and sticky notes. Then I can place it pointing directly to the paragraph I last stopped on.

15- The book you can always reread?

This is my question because I reread all the time. ALL THE TIME. Books I reread often: The Secret History, Medium Raw (especially chapter 17 The Fury), Crooked Kingdom, The Violent Bear It Away, and The Goldfinch. Every year like clockwork (since it came out apparently) I will reread Stephen King’s The Outsider.

Other books I feel the urge to reread: VanderMeer’s Acceptance, Englander’s Dinner at the Center of the Earth, Frazier’s Nightwoods, Fresh Off the Boat, the Mr. Mercedes trilogy, the Peter Grant Series (which is queued up for another go here soon I think), any of the stories from A Good Man is Hard to Find, Sanderson’s Wax and Wayne Mistborn books, simon vs the homosapiens’ agenda, and there are two of Alan Morinis’ books on Mussar that I am technically always revisiting—when i need a reminder, i’ll jump around and read specific sections to get centered again.

16- can you read while listening to music?

Yes, but only ambient or near ambient (only usually one track on repeat) or a soundtrack I am extremely familiar with. No new music. I do usually need some audio stimulation or my mind will wander terribly.

17- one POV or multi POV?

Multi pov can certainly be done well (looking at the soc duaology and VanderMeer’s Acceptance) but working a multi-pov means there are more plates spinning, it’s more of a challenge, and some authors pull it off better than others.

18- do you read book in one sitting or in multiple days?

I don’t really do this anymore. that might have something to do with me picking up thicker books? but also i have a full time job now and let’s be real the book has to be hella good if i don’t want to put it down. the last book i attempted to shotgun was the final installment of my favorite series and it still took me two days so....i can get through a lot of books but none of them are ever in one sitting anymore.

19- who to tag:

@sybilius​ @mouth-rainboy​ @iwonderifthatisart​ @phereinnike​ @magnificentmoose​ @wambsgangs​ @moriarteaparty​ and anyone else if you feel so inclined!

Bonus Question: What’s on your to-read shelf? 

As for me, I am excited about one i just picked up, Danforth’s Plain Bad Heroines, which i might start tomorrow and I will be taking Paul Madonna’s Come to Light on my trip to see my brother this coming weekend. 

[taehyungsgrowl]

thinking abt that ask u once got abt outpost! michael finding out he's interviewing a little kid and. i'm not w e l l. my heart is swelling just from imagining the scene,,, ma'am, no pressure, but if u would be so kind as to give us even a short blurb abt it 🥺❤

hey 🥺 

i loved that concept too omg ty @ anon who had originally sent the ask!

i just used the name Noah for the little boy bc i looked up “boy names” and it was #2 (plus i like the biblical theme) so yeehaw

tw: this is a little angsty @ times. talks about the child having a bit of an unstable and rocky childhood that makes michael 🥺

--

Michael didn’t really care to know how the people in his outpost got there. He could assume were people who bought their way in - the wealthy that made generous contributions to The Cooperative. 

He waited behind the mahogany desk in his dim-lit office, waiting for the residents to trickle in for his interviews. He had to admit, this was the most entertainment he has had since the bombs struck. 

Messing with the likes of Coco St. Pierre or her stylist fueled him. Making them believe that they actually had a shot of salvation - making them believe they were special? He could laugh. 

He opened the file for the next resident. 

Odd... he thought. Normally the Cooperative did an excellent job of providing him with as many details on the lives of the residents, but this file was different. 

There was no photo attached, no age or description. Just a name stamped in red ink like the others. The inside of his file had the name of an elementary school along with various families and addresses. At the very bottom of the page, the department of social services was listed. 

It was common for the files to have information on the residents' childhoods, but this file had nothing beyond his younger years. No parents listed. No information on how he was admitted. Nothing he could use. 

This kept Michael intrigued. Who was this mystery man?

He heard the door timidly open. Michael didn’t look up from his paperwork - feigning to be uninterested. 

The door shut and he heard small footsteps approach. Was it a Grey that had mistaken her interview time? Michael looked up to reprimand her, but the words caught in his throat.

This was no Grey. And certainly not a man.

But a child. He couldn't have been older than ten. The clothes Venable had put on him were far too large for his small frame. He had ashy brown curls that framed his chubby cheeks and sad green eyes. 

He stood near Michael’s desk, looking down at the ground. 

“Are you Noah?” Michael was surprised at how soft his voice came out. 

“Yes, sir.” the child kept his eyes down. His heart was racing. He was scared. 

As much as he hated the Outpost, this was the first time in his life he’d been able to stay in one place for longer than a few months. Before the dropping of the bombs, he had bounced around from foster home to foster home - a permanent ward of the state. 

The cubes were gross, but there were constant. The other residents and greys kept an eye out for him. Gallant would trim his hair every few weeks and Mallory would do her best to pin his clothes with what little she could find. 

Secretly, Venable’s right hand, Mead, would even check on the boy before bedtime. He strangely reminded her of a familiar feeling she wished she could remember. 

It had taken the end of the world for this boy to in some twisted fate, find a family of sorts. 

He’d heard the whispers about Langdon’s visit. He worried Langdon would toss him out much like other fosters had. 

Michael cleared his throat, trying to compose himself. 

A child?

“Take a seat.” the boy did, letting his feet dangle off the chair. “How old are you?” 

“I’m eight, but we don’t have birthdays here.” he looked up at Michael for the first time. 

Michael grimaced. His heart felt like it was being grasped in a tight fist, almost making it hard to breathe. There was a knot in his throat that he pushed through. He’d just met Noah, but he saw so much of himself in the young boy. 

Scared and with nothing but a sliver of a family - if either of them could even call what they had that. 

“I never had much of a birthday either,” Michael answered out loud without meaning too. He saw the boys face drop. 

“Are you gonna hurt me?” he tugged at his too large sleeves, a tear forming in his eyes. 

Michael shook his head no, slowly getting up from his chair. He kneeled in front of Noah, getting eye level to make him more comfortable. “I’m not here to hurt you,” he reassured him, patting his knee. 

“Do you know how you got here?” Michael’s mind flashed with the boys' memories - his mom not being able to care for him leading to years of toxic and unstable relationships for him. 

“I don’t wanna get in trouble,” he whispered. 

“No one will get you in trouble,” Michael promised. “Not as long as I’m here.”

“I ran away,” he looked at Michael, “I only remember being in a cage next to Emily and Timmy,” he sniffled. 

Michael nodded. 

“What is something that you want, Noah?” Michael stood back up.

He shrugged, his gaze back on the floor, “I don’t know,”

“Are you scared of me?” 

Noah took one long look at Michael, really thinking before he answered. 

“No, sir.” the boy shook his head. 

Michael ruffled the boy's hair a little. “I’d like for us to be friends, Noah. Would you like that?”

He hesitated, unsure if Michael meant it. Michael walked to his suitcase and opened up the zipper. He dug through it silently until he found what he was looking for. 

He pulled out a brown horse toy. One from his childhood room. He was never able to fully part with bits of his childhood. 

“This is for you.” he handed him the toy, watching his face light up. 

“Ms. Venable said there were no more toys!” 

Michael chuckled, “Well, there aren’t a lot, but this one right here? It’s special and I want you to take care of it. Can you do that?”

“Yes!” he beamed. 

“Good,” Michael sighed. He glanced at the clock. “It’s late. You should go to bed. But I’ll visit with you tomorrow, alright?”

“Yes, Mr. Langdon.”

Michael scrunched his nose at the name and sent him off to bed. 

The look on the boy’s face when he walked in reminded Michael of his interview with a detective many years ago. It made his stomach turn. 

The apocalypse was about new beginnings after all. Why couldn't he start by giving this young boy a fresh one? 

--

its been a lil bit since i’ve written something + i decided to try something that isn't really michael x reader so i wanted to tag a few blogs that might be interested in this 🥺👉👈

lmk what you think or if you’d like to expand on Michael and Noah concepts.

@xavierplympton @lvngdvns @langdonswhoreprobably @desertsunflower00 @sadhoecentral @getdevils @moonanonwriting @rpwithjayn @chloewinchester13 @shyvirgoanon @littledemondani @little-grunge-flowerz @ritualmichael @wroteclassicaly @shenevertricks1831 @duncansshephard @midnightontheearth @leatherduncan @xavierplym

[aubrey-plaza]

CREATOR TAG MEME

Rules: It’s time to love yourselves! Choose your 5 (ish) favorite works you created in the past year (fics, art, edits, etc.) and link them below to reflect on the amazing things you brought into the world in 2020. Tag as many writers/artists/etc. as you want (fan or original) so we can spread the love and link each other to awesome works!

I was tagged by:

Sarah / @timothyolyphant. Sarah Sarah Sarah, where do I even begin. Started from the bottom now we here but it’s actually started from an ask I sent on anon about getting sunburnt in Bali, and now we here. Life always manages to remind me that through adversity you forge valuable bonds and you are one of those. Your gifs are amazing and your personality is even more stunning. I love talking to you and I love seeing much you love fostering people’s creativity. It has truly made me look at gifmaking in a different light and injected to much fun and positivity into this. So thank you, friend <3

Nums / @cillianmurphy. Nums, my love, fellow Bulb. What could I possibly have done so well in the past to deserve your presence in my life! Always teaching me new slang by osmosis and always a balm to my weathered heart, you lift even the darkest days with your kindness, consideration, and love for Paddington 2 best movie ever made. Plus your gifmaking brain is full chefs kiss. Thank you for teaching me so many things. One day when the world stops being so crazy I WILL visit you and hug you and that is a threat <3

Kumi / @hollywoods. Kumi, my cat icon kin. Simply said, I think your gifmaking skills are out of this world and your graphics live rent free in my mind. Your humour never fails to make me laugh and I need you to know that I STILL think about the time you described yourself as wearing a jester outfit jangling across the court for a laff. You’re a bright spot in my life and I’m grateful I’ve gotten to know you this year. Please never stop being so amazing <3

Cece / @nickyoung. Cece my darling. Thank you SO much for joining my lovecraft sideblog, I literally could not have done it without you. We don’t talk a lot but that doesn’t mean I don’t value you so much. Your creativity is incredible and your sets are SO fucking gorgeous and honestly goals. Seeing you flourish fills me with so much pride and joy and I’m so happy we got to know each other this year <3

Okay emo stuff out of the way, time for my favourite edits! There were a lot and im indecisive so here goes:

max max: fury road set - I like to call this set “kate learns how to make a colour set.” I learned how to make gifs and mmfr is one of my all-time favourite movies so it was only right that I made a set. I always thought this movie was only orange and blues, but making this gifset made me fall in love with the movie even more

birds of prey / dinah lance set - Dinah Lance love of my life. If you’ve followed me this year, you will know that I went into birds of prey a person and left birds of prey a dinah lance stan. I previously made a birds of prey colour set, but I wanted to do one JUST for dinah. I’ve seen one too many people say that it’s hard to do colour sets of poc so I had to see for myself and I’m SO proud of how colourful this set is. plus, yknow, I love her. 

pacific rim / stacker pentecost set - pacrim is one of my FAVOURITE movies and this character has so many iconic lines. This lowkey turned into a colour set which isn’t hard for a movie like pacrim. 

record stores in films set - I woke up one sunday morning and my brain was YELLING at me to make this set. I downloaded 25 movies that all have iconic record store scenes and watched every single one and ended up with ten perfect gifs. I cut so many movies bc they didn’t work as well and I’m so sad abt that but I had SO much fun watching the movies and ended up falling in love and finding a new fave in the compilation so it was really a Project and I had Fun. 

the old guard set - this line makes me SO feral and I just HAD to gif it. It’s one my favourites because it’s my new lesson for life.

BONUS: my Lovecraft Country sets. This show taught me SO much and despite it’s awful ending, I’m still grateful for the first 7 episodes and I did end up making 65 sets for it over 10 weeks so I feel it deserves a special place in my 2020 recap

women in history - learning about history through a show, is there anything better? This set in particular was SO easy to make and took me literally 20 minutes, but that’s because it’s built on a solid foundation of knowledge. I knew the moment I saw a character which person in history she was and I think that’s a kudos to the show and to how well they taught me stuff. Also these other historical sets. 

leti lewis outfits - took me FOR EVER. still fun tho.

episode 2 colours - speaks for itself but this show is so STUPID to colour and you can never use a psd bc every scene is lit differently but making a colour set was so much fun because of the challenge

this name etymology set - this took me four days and SO much time but im so proud of it because I tried new techniques and learned so much

Tagging some friends because I love seeing y’alls creations but I want to know what YOUR favourites are!

@vicspedretti @daisylouisejohnson @dani-clayton @hannahsgrose @jodiewhittakerr @hannahjohn-kamen @robintunney @chris-evans @alex-krycek @clintfbarton @bosemanchadwick @chloebeale @hailesteinfeld @timeslord @melsmonroe @annelisters @owenjoyner 

[sylveonsylk]

How long has The Cooper Gang been in operation?

I would actually posit...not long. Maybe about seven years or so. Where am I getting these figures? And why am I thinking about this?

I’m interested in the case file about Sly. Supposedly, Bentley and Murray also have case files that Sly stole. But why is his so important?

I think Sly’s case file was started the day his parents were found murdered. Why that day? Well, I think Connor and Prim (I’m using my “Sly’s mom” character here Bcs it feels just a bit disrespectful to not give her a name, okay?) kept the birth of their son as secret as possible. I doubt Prim even went to a hospital. Only the smallest circle knew about Sly, and his parents kept him very safe and, probably, very sheltered. I doubt he had much interaction with other kids pre-orphanage.

So that’s the case for it not being started earlier, but why not later? Well, I think Interpol knew exactly who they were dealing with when they reported to the scene of the crime. Sly was probably told never to trust police, so he probably didn’t call any cops, if there was ever even a phone wherever the Coopers were hiding out when the Five ambushed them. I’m willing to bet it was either McSweeney who called the cops anonymously after finding out what happened, or a neighbor found Sly looking for food after being on his own a couple days and called CPS. Either way, Sly had a case file because of who his parents were, and the officers kept tabs on where he was sent. (It might’ve even been a CPS file originally.)

Orphans or foster kids get kicked out of the system when they turn 18. I think Sly, Bentley, and Murray ran away from the orphanage at 16. They probably struggled for about a year or so while they trained themselves to be thieves worthy enough to avenge the Cooper name. I’d imagine they lived out of the van, completely homeless, begging or stealing food.

I think Sly pulled his first heist when he was 17. I don’t think it was super grand or anything. It was probably a robbery from a retired gangster or something like that. Nothing “master thief” worthy, but enough to put him on Interpol’s map. I’m willing to bet that an inspector was assigned to the case. Was it Inspector Fox right out the gate? Hard to say. Carmelita was a fast-track cop from a cop family, but even so, I’m not sure they’d give her such an important case unless she proved herself...which she might’ve done in that ruby (?) case Carmelita mentions in the cutscene outside the police station. Sly saying “I think you’ve had it long enough” could be referring to Carmelita specifically or, more likely, Interpol itself. But it’s possible Carmelita had access to the file for a year. Maybe more.

What I’m saying here is that Sly was 18 in the first game and 23 in the last game. That isn’t a long lifespan for a criminal group. However, it’s more than obvious the gang made themselves notorious, probably through a series of heists, meant to hone their skills as a team before Sly took on The Five.

I’m willing to bet Sly was well on his way to 19 by the time he beat Clockwerk. It’s hard to say what time of year it was (and thus how close to Sly’s birthday it was) because of all of the different locations with vastly different weather, and the unclear amount of time it takes to get from one area to another), but I’m certain that taking down the Five took nearly a year.

Like I said, Bentley and Murray have case files, too. But Sly’s is important for the information it holds...because his has been open the longest.

[dent-de-leon]

As much as I love Keith and I’m glad he didn’t give up on Shiro (bc Shiro didn’t give up on him), it still feels unbalanced and his growth was made null? Idk. Especially since some of the scenes where Keith is showing his devotion to Shiro are very insidious on Shiro's end? Like "as many times as it takes" is framed in a way that makes Shiro's smirk feel ominous, and the same thing for The Black Paladins' fight (1)

The thing though is that Keith is only so devoted to Shiro because Shiro saved him first. Shiro approached him, he sought Keith out and stood by him when no one else would. I think a lot of people underestimate the kind of profound effect that can have on a person, especially in their formative years. When they first meet, Keith steals Shiro’s car–not because he wants to spite Shiro, but to spite himself.

He was so obviously interested in the Garrison, and so very elated when Shiro took an interest in him, that he immediately berates himself for ever believing he had a chance. He’s reluctant to even interact with Shiro, but once Shiro offers him a chance, you can so how much he’s affected by it. So when he sees the teacher telling Shiro he’s just not worth the effort, he decides to cut ties with Shiro immediately and demonstrate just how much of a “troublemaker” he is, because “of course he is.”

He’s frustrated with himself for hoping Shiro would ever be different, wouldn’t treat him like everyone else, so he heads down that same path of self-destruction and essentially punishes himself in an effort to sever ties with Shiro so he can at least feel like he’s the one in control. “I don’t know why I’m that way…maybe, I’m naturally untrusting because my mom left me? And so, instead of accepting people into my life, I push them away before they reject me. I guess I have some walls up…”

And Shiro ends up proving him wrong at every turn. Keith latches onto Shiro in spite of everything because Shiro was the one who kept going back for him and refusing to abandon him. That’s why Keith won’t give up on Shiro, it’s a mutual bond that Shiro started and fostered. And I don’t think it’s fair to say that Shiro has “insidious” intentions, because that is never the case. Shiro loves Keith implicitly, regardless of any circumstances, that much is canon:

Joaquim: “And with Shiro, we have that history [with the glara]. But he loves Keith, so he sees the good in him.” (source).

For that part in Tailing a Comet you mentioned, I don’t think there were any nefarious intentions there at all. This is season 3-6 Shiro at one of his lowest points–and consequently, his most vulnerable. So vulnerable in fact, that he won’t let anyone but Keith see him like that. So it’s Keith that tends to his bedside, Keith that he confides in. Everything from the dark lit room, to Shiro’s haggard appearance and being dressed down to his undershirt, invokes a sense of aching intimacy.

This is Shiro laid bare, Shiro at his most painstakingly honest. So when he teases Keith, says, “How many times are you going to save me before this is over?” it’s an open admission of just how much Keith has done for him–and just how touched Shiro is by it. Again, it’s kind of teasing–and reads as basically flirtatious to me–because there is that light and playful tone to it. He’s trying to lighten the mood while also conveying how much Keith really means to him, and it’s incredibly sweet. I think this is one of the instances of Shiro being the most forward about how he feels about Keith, rather than just subtly tiptoeing around it. He comes right out and says Keith is it’s hero.

The Black Paladins fight is a whole other matter, because obviously, Shiro isn’t in control for most of that. But we do see a crack in that mind control for a moment when Keith confesses, “I love you,” and that in itself speaks volumes. It’s not Keith’s plea that they’re like brothers or something about how the team needs him that breaks through to him, it’s that Keith loves him that evokes an incredibly visceral reaction. That’s not even with me getting into the implications of how it’s that line that gets the attention of Shiro when he’s a canonically mlm character and Keith is his closest current relationship.

It’s also worth noting in this episode that, when the spell breaks, the last thing season 3-6 Shiro does is call out Keith’s name. And that’s also the very first thing we hear from original Shiro. Keith is the last and first thing on Shiro’s mind, the person they instinctually reach for. And then Shiro takes his hand and their souls synchronize–Shiro opens up the Black Lion’s true power to Keith, and it’s only with his help that Keith is able to save the other Paladins. When Shiro’s soul is having trouble binding with his body, Shiro dreams of Keith, of how much Keith means to him and how their initial interactions completely shaped his life. It’s his bond with Keith that tethers him back to the physical world. “I was dreaming…Keith, you saved me.”

Keith’s poignant response to that–“We saved each other”–is one I think a lot of people don’t quite realize the gravity of. There’s occasionally this sentiment where people ask, “What has Shiro done for Keith lately?” but that’s not how Keith ever sees it. There are a number of times when Shiro has lashed out to protect Keith, but even beyond that, Shiro does not need to continually prove his worth to Keith. He’s already done that.

From Keith’s perspective, Shiro has already given him everything, has already proven himself a thousand times over. In Across the Universe, he says he saved Shiro because, “You would’ve done the same for me.” Them mutually comforting, confiding in, and fiercely protecting one another is the very core and basis for their relationship. And that’s why they won’t ever abandon each other:

Lauren: “And that’s something that, where Adam might be able to walk away from a relationship, because he doesn’t feel that respect, that relationship is something that Keith would hold on to his whole life, and probably never be able to walk away from.” (source)

[missbrunettebarbie]

Fandom: Marvel; ship: LoVe; character: Petra Solano.

Marvel

Favorite character: Honestly, none of them achieves peak love or stanning potential. But the Iron Fam: Tony, Rhody, Pepper, Jarvis and now Morgan (and I guess Peter, but his movies place him in a different category) are the first thing I fell in love with ( Iron Man was the first superhero movie to really captivate me), so my answer is: Iron Fam, as a collective character.

Least Favorite character: That's always a hard question! I guess I never liked Captain America (take a guess why; hint: is the America part of his name), nor did I want Vision to stay (and I was glad when he died)

5 Favorite ships (canon or non-canon): Peter/MJ (after FFH, they have to be first), Tony/Pepper, Nakia/T'Challa (more content, pls), Thor/Jane (I always loved them, but after the Thor 4 spoilers I am heart-eyes), Hope/Scott

Character I find most attractive: Thor, Peggy, Jane Foster (I have a bit of a crush on Natalie Portman, if you can't tell)

Character I would marry: again, Thor or Jane. Or both

Character I would be best friends with: I like to think I would have been friends with Peter in high-school. Being best friends with Nakia would be something out of a dream and I think I would be friendly with Pepper

a random thought: I am excited about Phase 4, but I am really bummed that we won't get Ant-Man and the Wasp 2

An unpopular opinion: what is unpopular??? Oh, I know! I love that every villain has ties to Tony/SI. Now, just show us a villain whose origin story is tied to Pepper

My Canon OTP: right at this moment is between MJ/Peter and Thor/Jane

My Non-canon OTP: I wonder how MCU would look like with Tony/Natasha as The Ship; in a parallel universe, I mean, bc I like Pepperony

Most Badass Character: after Endgame: Tony

Most Epic Villain: Thanos

Pairing I am not a fan of: Tony/Steve

Character I feel the writers screwed up (in one way or another): I wish Scott was the Ted of the Ant-Man movies

Favourite Friendship: the Iron Fam. Surprise, not!

Character I most identify with: I hate this question, bc I never know the answer: Hope, mayyyybe

Character I wish I could be: I want Tony's money! And Jane's intelligence

LoVe

When I started shipping them: after their first kiss. I fell hard and fast

My thoughts: I never expected to love them as much as I do!!! Sometimes, I still wonder how it happened. I changed my icon for them, and that's something

What makes me happy about them: the messiness, the way their love story enriched the narative, the actors' chemistry

What makes me sad about them: not much. The end of s4 made me a bit sad, but I am content with how it turned out

Things done in fanfic that annoys me: I only read one fic about them, so, no clue

Things I look for in fanfic: well since canon robbed me of more domestic LoVe moments, I look for them in fic. Also, I would love to read a fic where they do detective work togheter

My wishlist: after s4 finale, nothing.

Who I’d be comfortable them ending up with, if not each other: No one, that's why they are OTP

My happily ever after for them: it would have been interesting for the show to keep them apart till the last moments, when they could have made them endgame with one scene. I can already hear antis screaming

Petra Solano

How I feel about this character: I loved and stanned her during the show. But now, with canon over, I am less interested. I guess it was not True Love after all

Any/all the people I ship romantically with this character:  no one. Canon didn't provide much

My favorite non-romantic relationship for this character:  Anna and Ellie, and, in the last seasons, Rafael and Jane

My unpopular opinion about this character: eh, I guess after s5 I started disliking Petramos

One thing I wish would happen / had happened with this character in canon: for her and JR not to get togheter (I don't even know why, I just kinda dislike that they were endgame)

Favorite friendship for this character: Jane and Raf again

My crossover ship: I don't really think in terms of crossover ships?! Oh, I got one: Petra and Blair Waldorf! They will kill each other!

[superbatson]

shazam teaser breakdown

while making some gifs, i rewatched the first trailer we got for the film and in slowing it down (for gif timing and all that), i noticed a bunch of new things that i wanna talk about :)

(if i were some cool youtuber with epic editing skills, this would be a video; but alas, i am just a blogger, so here’s a text post instead)

one of the first things i noticed was actually in the middle of the trailer, because i was skimming through and just happened to pause it at this point:

obviously, billy was smart to hop onto a train to get away from the bullies. but look how cute he is, smiling as the doors shut and he successfully makes his getaway. i mean, i guess i’m saying it’s cute bc asher just has a cute dimpled smile in general, but i do also love how smug he is that he won this little fight

next, earlier today, i started rereading the new 52 comic that this film is heavily based off of, and i noticed that it appears that all the boys - billy, freddy, pedro, and eugene - share a room in the comic. but it looks like the room that billy will call his own in the film is much smaller than the one in the comic...

there’s just room for one small bunk bed. yes, in the comic, the other bunk bed is on the opposite wall, but the room isn’t wide enough for that because

the desk’s on the other side.

just wanted to get another screenshot of the bedroom, though it’s worth noting that when billy sees freddy stand up from the desk, he stares at his crutch. yeah, the brightness of this one wall versus where the beds are could point to billy and freddy actually not sharing a room, but logically it would make sense for them to share as they’re around the same age. (in real life, asher is - now - 16 and i think jack is 15, but in the film i think they’re both 14??? or, at least, billy is. apparently freddy has been a year older than him in some comics, so that may still be true in the movie. we’ll see.)

one more thing while in this bedroom scene, i remember breaking down a still image of all the easter eggs in this scene before, but i noticed a few small new ones when freddy opens his drawer of newspapers (and superman’s bullet)

four of the newspapers are issues of the daily planet. one clearly shows the first three letters, d a i, of the word, and if you look closely, it also mentions metropolis. the font appears to be the same for the three papers on its right, and the headline on  that issue seems to be “what is superman’s real agenda?” i don’t know where the paper on the left of that is from, but the picture looks like the ship zod & crew arrived on, so this is clearly a whole drawer dedicated to superman.

that’s made most clear by the issue all the way on the right, which has his name in big letters. something i hadn’t noticed before, though, is where that paper is from: gotham free press. it’s not that big a deal, but i wonder if that’s supposed to be a paper from around the time of bvs rather than the others which may be from during mos. (oh, and on that paper directly to the right of the “real agenda” one, you can kind of make out a mention of lexcorp. yay easter eggs!)

another thing to mention in this post is just me paying attention to the editing of this trailer, because in the first couple seconds, you see billy running down the street, which cuts right to a shot of him hopping into the driver’s seat of a car, but the two shots don’t actually go together

you can see in the background those two bullies who attacked freddy. obviously they must get back on their feet after billy knocks them down and they chase him through the neighborhood

this shot is from later in the trailer, after they show the fight, but based on the bricks, you can tell this is just billy cutting around the corner of the same building. based on the bikes, maybe it’s another school - like, an elementary school??? perhaps it’s darla’s???

i could really go on for hours now, breaking down every shot of this trailer, but last thing, which i may have pointed out before, but i now notice more because of my comic reread

billy looks flat out sad upon meeting the vasquez’s and being adopted(?)/taken in(?) by them 

i swear, you can see tears forming in his eyes in this above shot. i mean, i can understand why he’d be sad, ‘cause according to that junior novel excerpt, (spoilers ahead) the movie starts with him on the hunt for his biological mom, as according to this origin, he was just separated from her at i believe the local carnival and just never found her again. so he’s convinced she’s still alive, which would make him be upset over the fact that he’s being sent to live with another foster family when he just wants to find his mom. (end of spoilers)

i guess i also mostly included that last screenshot/point because, well, in the comics, billy is shown to be a bit more smug/sly. once his meeting with the vasquez’s is over, he makes snide comments and is even snappy with his social worker right until he steps on the doorsteps of his new foster home. yes, he is later shown to have a heart when he defends his foster siblings from the bullies, but he’s otherwise a bit more... i guess hardened, is the right word? whereas in the film, he just seems more.. not weak, but softer-hearted, if that’s a term that even exists? more in touch with his emotions. he’s still kinda smug - he wants to “fly away” from his superhero convo with freddy in the cafeteria, he beats up bullies - and street smart, but as i’ve seen people complain about how geoff johns characterized billy in his previous new 52 run, this seems to really stray away from that. or, at least, it’s a combination of that version and the sweeter version of the character people have come to love in the past. 

so, yeah, that’s about it. like i said, i could go on for hours, but i’m kinda tired, so if i think to break more of the trailer down, you’ll be hearing from me again! till next time!

[eledritch]

10 Tips for Writing (Good) Smut

so. let’s do this.

About a year ago, I had to read a book for my school’s summer reading assignment called How to Read Literature Like a Professor by Thomas Foster. It’s not a bad book, pretty decent actually, but there was this one chapter about sex scenes in literature. And one of the first sentences was along the lines of “writing sex is boring.”

and I did a double-take. Bc in my experience, that is absolutely not the case, and if you do find yourself bored while writing smut, then you’re not doing it right. See, Thomas’s main argument was that there’s only so many ways you can write sex scenes, because there’s only so many sex acts you can choose from. (My boy Thomas is clearly a vanilla dude, but let’s not hold that against him.) 

But one of the most important things to keep in mind while writing smut is that it’s not necessarily just about the act itself. So while Thomas is right that there are limits as to how many ways ppl can have sex, he failed to realize that writing sex is about a LOT more than that. And I’m gonna prove it to you.

Just to get it out of the way, I’ve been writing smut for about 6 years now. I’m 18 now, so yeah, been doin’ this since I was 12. Which is a little weird, thinking back on it, but honestly I think it’s healthy for adolescents/young teens to explore their sexualities and learn about sex in a safe, controlled setting like writing fanfiction has been for me. 

It was a better sex ed than anything else I got in Arizona, that’s for sure. And for the record, I’m a virgin and I don’t believe you need to have sex to be good at writing it. Conversely, you could have sex a hundred times and still not be good at writing it. The important thing is that you EDUCATE yourself and do your research so you know what the heck you’re writing about.

When I first started writing smutty fics in middle school, they were pretty bad. Not the worst, but not good either. Don’t let the seemingly simple nature of writing sex fool you - it can be really hard (ha, ha). Even if you’re a good writer, you might try to write a sex scene and find yourself slogging through it because you, like my boy Thomas, are focusing only on the act itself. that’s a mistake. don’t do that. 

Which brings me to this list of 10 things you SHOULD do:

1. You gotta get in the right mood. By this I don’t mean you need to be horny to write smut, you absolutely don’t, in fact you probably shouldn’t bc you're likely to get distracted. What I mean is that if you wanna write vanilla, sweet, slow love makin’, then you should be in a good or at least halfway decent mood. Get comfy. Make yourself a warm drink. 

Don’t try to write sweet sex if you’re angry or upset or sick or in pain - it’s either gonna turn into not sweet sex, or it’s gonna take you a long-ass time. Case in point, I tried to write a tender blowjob scene shortly after getting my wisdom teeth removed and just couldn’t do it, because ow, can you even imagine.

But you can use those negative moods/emotions to your advantage, too. If you're having a bad day, it’s actually a great catharsis to take those feelings out in your writing. You can apologize to your characters later - or maybe you’ll work out all your pent-up rage halfway through a brutal scene and turn it into something a little less intense, that works just as well!

2. Do your research. Research is important before you dive into any piece of writing, but it’s a necessary step for writing smut. If you’re a virgin or have no experience with the kind of sex you’re writing about, you’re gonna have to do some Googling. You don’t need to look up porn, porn honestly grosses me out and isn’t my favorite thing to draw from, but you do need to know the complete ins-and-outs (ha...) of whatever act you’re writing about. 

A good way to do research is to read other fanfics, popular fanfics by seasoned authors who have gained a large following/a lot of attention by writing the right stuff. You can also check out posts by people who actually gave tips to fanfic writers, there are several by gay guys which are helpful if you’re not a gay guy and you’re writing a sex scene about gay guys. They’re the authority, listen to them over the fanfic authors.

If you’re delving into something like BDSM in your writing, do your research on that, too. Don’t misrepresent people and practices just because you didn’t bother to learn about them. If you’re not willing to learn about them, you’re not going to be able to write about them. 

Oh, and lastly, but not leastly, LUBE. if your characters are having anal sex especially, they need to use lube, my dude. the human body made that rule, not me.

3. Write empathetically. It’s unavoidable - when you’re writing smut, you have to learn how to put yourself into the shoes of the POV character. This can be kinda challenging if, for instance, you don’t have a dick and having a dick is very important for the POV character to make that scene work. But that’s what your imagination is for - use it. 

Think about how this character would experience this situation not just in terms of the obvious sensations they’re feeling, whether pain or pleasure, but also in terms of their thoughts, their emotions, their memories, etc. A lot of good characterization can happen during sex scenes, and it makes me sad that all too often writers don’t take advantage of that. 

4. Don’t be afraid of using repetitive words. Sex is a repetitive act, get that through your head before you write it. One of the most irritating things I come across while reading smut is the author’s need to use endless synonyms for ‘cock.’ Stop. Please stop. Cock is fine. You can use ‘dick’ too if you really wanna add some variation. But anymore than that, and it’s just downright distracting. Don’t use member, penis (just...not a sexy word, at all), organ (NOT SEXY), etc - use length, prick, and erection sparingly if at all, and boner is more of a funny word than a sexy word, so keep that in mind. I’ve also seen ‘manhood’ used and i mean....i guess??? but why would you use that when you can accomplish the same thing in 4 much better letters? C O C K. just do it.

alternately, when referring to parts of a cock, just stick to the basics. shaft, head/tip/crown, balls. that’s it. maybe talk about veins if you’re gettin real detailed. you don’t need to wax poetic about it, or about the actions within the sex itself. you’ll find yourself reusing a lot of verbs and that’s ok! the usuals may include (but are not limited to) - thrust, buck, shove, press, slide, glide, ride, fuck, bounce, drive (into), arch, kiss, suck, bite, stroke, smack, slap, rock, embrace, squeeze, tremble, shudder, moan, groan, whine, whimper, hiss, shout, scream, gasp, curse, beg, sob, grunt, sigh.

5. Understand connotations vs denotations of words. This is an important tip not just for smut writing but for any writing. Words that may be ‘synonyms’ in terms of definition may not actually be synonymous. This can be an issue if English isn’t your first language - even if it is, it still trips people up. ‘Shudder’ and ‘tremble’ are both defined as someone’s body shaking, but they have different meanings! Shudder is more violent/intense, more of a full-body kinda deal and often more negative in connotation (i.e. ‘shudder of fear’). Tremble is more subtle, and more of a localized thing (i.e. his hands trembled) and connotates nervousness or apprehension more than outright fear - or it can be used to convey a more subdued/internalized fear. There are situations in which they can be interchangeable, and situations in which they really aren’t.

Understanding exactly what words mean will help you know when to use them and make your writing more fluid, comprehensible, and realistic for the reader. 

6. Avoid using cliche/overused phrases. For the love of god, don’t use the phrase ‘their tongues battled for dominance.’ I’M BEGGING YOU. listen, i’m guilty as charged, i’m sure i wrote it at some point in my earlier days, but don’t make the same mistake! not only does the phrase have some troubling implications about the perception of m/m relationships (in which the phrase is almost exclusively found) as little more than a fight for dominance, it’s just...that’s not how kissing works? 

Your tongues don’t battle, that’s not a good description for it. Why would you use a cliche phrase like that when you can talk about teeth clashing, tongues pressing, mouths sliding/slipping, biting at lips, hair pulling, nails scratching, hands grasping, pulses racing, and everything else that goes into kissing? Using phrases that many have used before you is a lazy way out and it dulls your imagery and the reader’s immersion into the story. 

7. Think for yourself while writing and be original! It’s the only way you’re going to find your unique voice, or writing style, which often shines through in smut-writing and sets yours apart from the rest. Writing mediocre smut is easy, but if you’re reading this, you don’t want to go that route. While it’s helpful to draw from other smut writers when you’re getting started, you need to be able to draw from your own mind above all. 

Yeah, it’s true that your fifth grade teacher probably didn’t mean ‘brainstorm new and exciting sex positions and scenarios’ when she said ‘be creative.’ But you’re not in fifth grade anymore (or at least, you better not be), and that’s what I mean when I’m telling you to be creative right now. 

Developing your voice/originality happens through a variety of ways, including plain old practice, trial and error, and understanding the technicalities of writing. What I mean by that is remembering all the stuff your English teacher taught you about - imagery, figurative speech, idioms, irony, dialogue, diction, syntax, figurative devices, metaphors, simile, etc. Speaking of which...

8. Everybody loves a big, dramatic sex metaphor once in a while. This is tricky, because you really shouldn’t overdo this - if you do, you risk making your smut the most pretentious, unreadable piece ever. Metaphors tend to do that when you use them without discretion. But when you choose and use them carefully, you can turn a sex scene into something more meaningful, both for the character and the story as a whole. 

If you’re just writing a quickie in a club bathroom, don’t bother with this (unless that quickie was life-changing and birthed the spark of TRUE LOVE between your characters, which is entirely possible, no judgment, I’m happy for them). But if you’re writing about your character losing their virginity, having sex with someone who means a lot to them, having sex with someone who just returned from a long absence/is leaving them for a long time, etc...you may wanna make things a little ~deep~ for a second. 

I’m not gonna tell you exactly how to write your sex metaphors because you’ll know when and how to use them if the occasion presents itself and if you have your voice figured out. Talk about bodies being more than bodies, lips being like brands of fire, whispers being sacred vows, orgasms being fuckin’ nirvana, idk, orgasms are tricky because sometimes people will write ‘his orgasm RIPPED through him’ and you’re like ??? is he okay? that sounded painful...

You can see how metaphors can quickly make a story exhausting/confusing/unenjoyable if you use them too much. But once in a while? Man, go for it. 

9. Humor is key. This is perhaps one of the most important tips I have for you, because personally it’s improved my smut writing the most, as well as made the whole activity a lot more fun. Smut is supposed to be an enjoyable thing to read. But no matter how arousing/hot/absolutely obscene you make it, some readers are going to get bored. I said earlier that sex is a repetitive act, it just is. Your goal is to make it sexy AND entertaining. You want to keep the reader engaged. 

And humor is the best way, I’ve found, to do that. A lot of fanfiction sex is guilty of being too perfect. Try to steer clear of that. As tempting as it can be to make a sex scene where everything works without a hitch and everyone is serious, fully consumed with love/arousal, etc, there is something genuinely delightful about writing the awkward, funny parts of sex, too. They don’t have a place in every scene, but in many, especially first times/trying new things, they’re great. Not only does adding humor make your characters seem more human and likable, it makes the bond between them seem more real and makes the reader more attached to them.

And isn’t that the point? Your readers aren’t gonna to want to read about flat characters they can’t relate to or straight-up dislike, no matter how hot the sex is. 

10. Don’t forget the little things. This final point goes back to what Thomas got wrong in his book. Sex should NOT be boring to write. Don’t write on the surface about what’s happening, adjust the lens through which you, the character/s, and the reader view it. Write about the sex itself but also write about the little things (not your character’s dick, don’t be mean) - the freckles on their lover’s shoulder, the fading bruises on their neck, the way their lover’s hair feels against their skin, all the not-obvious sensations that add realism and a spark to the scene that sets it apart. 

This goes for non-tactile things as well - maybe your character has ADD or is just distracted easily, and goes off on tangents of thought (or speech) during sex. Maybe they’re really fascinated with a certain aspect of their partner/s, like their eyes or mouth or hands or the sounds they make. Maybe they notice small details about the setting - the smell of the sheets is comforting, the crack on the ceiling reminds them of their bedroom back home, the weird deer head on the wall looks like it’s staring at them, the possibilities are literally endless. It’s up to you how you want to use them, but please - use them. 

So in summary, no, Thomas, writing sex - and reading it, for that matter - shouldn’t be boring. It’s an excellent way to further characterization, improve your writing, find your voice, and make your story overall a better one.