#this was originally a much worse post but it wasnt funny so its in the drafts indefinitely

[cliveguy]

i love supernatural fanfics where dean is suddenly super emotionally intelligent and talks about his feelings it's like one second destiel are having feminist gay sex then the next dean is popping ssris and giving sam a speech on his personal journey with mental illness and how it's affected every single one of his actions. then he also says he's bisexual.

[rise-my-angel]

Because I love salt, what do you find to be the most annoying lines of so-called evidence or foreshadowing for ships you hate? For me it’s hard to pick just one but Jon saying Sansa looked radiant is up there for me because the idea that Jon had a crush on Sansa in the first book or before is so much worse than the thought of them meeting again and then developing feelings (which I still hate, but it’s just not as bad). It’s super normal for people to think their siblings look nice. Arya’s POV chapters also remark that Sansa is beautiful. Ashford theory is annoying because it was originally about the hound and Sansa (also hate this ship but the fans are a million times more tolerable). I also roll my eyes when fans insist that the bride of fire line foreshadows Dany marrying Jon (and I even LIKE that ship but only in an AU in my head where Lyanna is Jon’s mom but Rhaegar is NOT the father)

"Because I love salt"

You have come to the right place as this is an accurate real life photo of me running this blog:

Thats a good one I hate though, multiple siblings and family members in this series all compliment one another. Even characters with bad relationships compliment each other. In the books, Arya recalls that her father calls her pretty, which only Jon ever also called her. Does that mean Ned had romantic feelings for Arya? Or Lyanna for that matter? No of course not. Thinking someone in terms of beauty is zero indicator of attraction in any way.

Also its even funnier with Jonsas because Sansa herself notes that Arya looks just like Jon, and then on multiple occasions notes that she thinks Arya is ugly. So, its even less compelling.

In the show Tyrion compliments Cersei's beauty all the time and we know there is nothing to it. It's reading into something that isn't there beacuse if they ignore the way beauty is used in this series as a common compliment towards other highborns, then its a really simple box to check on really stock symptoms of attraction. (I also dont really enjoy Sansan but it is funny how they just stay in their circle and mind their business like they somehow are winning based on being not fucking annoying alone).

I'm gonna rapid fire for Jon here because pretty much every single ship he has is backed by the worst evidence known to man.

The idea that Jon never thinks about Sansa because he loves her the most is dumb and not how we know Jon works. He holds back what he says not what he thinks. He thinks of Sansa the least because despite being his sister, she treated him like shit because she looks down on him for being a bastard. Jon cares about her, but not anywhere near how he cares about his other siblings who have clearly shown him love and respect.

The worst of Jon and Arya is a very very old outline that grrm scrapped. Its an outline that wasnt used and most of it isnt canon so it is literally a piece of non evidence for a ship that is disgusting. (Both Jonsa and Jonrya make Jons good older brother behavior towards his sisters look predatory and the shippers are all literally too blind to realize it)

Jon and Dany have literally nothing to back that up, because they are staged as moral oppositions to one another, dont know the other exists, and the idea that the motif of ice and fire will be about the coming together of romance is antithetical to everything grrm has established about the themes of his story. They are so far from being a ship that literally the ONLY thing they have to support it is the show and thats an absolute joke (see my every post that got me blocked by jonerys stans for more detail)

Ygritte is a rapist, so I accept literally zero "evidence" on that ones validity.

I also hate the "the actors have chemistry" argument to support really bad ships, because some actors having chemistry doesnt equal good romance, it equals good on screen dynamics in its own unique way. Like Tywin and Arya in season 2 have GREAT chemistry, but I don't need to explain why shipping that is creepy. Catelyn and Jaime have great chemistry, but it doesn't mean anything was actually there which could've worked.

Like shipping is fine, but so many people just INSIST it is canon or meant to be instead of something fun to think about. I joke ship about Stannis and Davos because its fun but I'm not over here arguing that people who don't ship it are "ignoring the text in front of them deliberately".

Also honestly, its really funny to me that you had to specify you'd only like that ship if they weren't related. Big oof on that one. Jonerys stans hate the idea they couldn't be related because they somehow think Dany being his AUNT isn't at all creepy. Like, Dany is related to Jon the way Jon thinks hes related to his MOTHER. There is no capability of romance or attraction there, that's crazy.

People who are biologically related but don't know it, 99% of the time are in fact, still not accidentally attracted to each other because that's biological survival instinct. Anti inbreeding protocol. But they think because DANY was raised to think her families blood superiority driven incest is fine, that somehow means JON would think its fine. Jonsas have no argument for that they just have to pray desperately that Jon would want to fuck his little sister despite how much it makes him look like a predator.

I'm sorry, I hope you have water on hand to wash down all this goddamn salt I just threw at you all at once.

Really, it isn't individual lines that irk me, its the overall tendencies of these ships to put more emphasis on things that don't even exist to justify something they don't even realize WHY people think it's creepy. I don't hate a lot of ships, just...all pro incest ones, and ones that promote predatory/rapist behaviors. Which is why I don't ship much in this series.

We're probably not meant to ship many people in this series if I in any way understand even a modicum of why grrm writes the lack of romance the way he does.

[thefourchimes]

Can you tell me more about the Four Chimes AU?

What paths did you originally have planned for Robin? I wanna see how close my own ideas are lol :D :D :D

And tell us more about the Chimes themselves please? Like what are they like? What kind of abilities do they have? I may need some ideas for a fight scene... hehe

so. four chimes au my beloved. the reason why my url name is the way it is, even when im an encanto centered blog AHSFUIAHSF but yeah, here we go then! also, finn mentioned you can send him asks too, he would love to answer you about this as well yeye

anywho, lore dump time! made with a tag team between me and finn

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Can you tell me more about the Four Chimes AU?

the four chimes verse is essentially an amalgamation of my want—need—for badass max, max angst, elumax angst, just general party and co angst, apocalypse four shenanigans, several unexplored character interactions and dynamics, the four horsemen of the apocalypse concept, and everything else that comes with this plus things i wasnt able to mention its very self indulgent ngl

but yes, it's about the apocalypse four (max, patrick, fred, and chrissy) and how they get turned into the upside down four horsemen of the apocalypse aka the four chimes of catastrophe by vecna, and they become his way of furthering chaos and destruction in hawkins, while also using them to get rid of his thorns aka the party and co

nobody's having a fun time lol

i've already got a lot of it planned out, i just need to write it lmao asufhaishdf

its funny because this all started when finn sent an ask to his friend about how the four victims of vecna are paralleled to the four horsemen of the apocalypse

on top of me already thinking about this, i saw the ask and pretty much ran with it

also, here's a bonus just for you! the following are the arc names of the og four chimes au (and technically still the general arc names regardless of the sub aus, tho ofc with some differences here and there):

pre-shattering

during catastrophe - the four chimes

during catastrophe - contact to familiarity

during catastrophe - jailbreak

during catastrophe - void dark

during catastrophe - escape the dark

during catastrophe - resonance

during catastrophe - the end

post-apocalypse

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What paths did you originally have planned for Robin? I wanna see how close my own ideas are lol :D :D :D

so robin is very feral yes AHSIFUHASf

im pretty sure i explained it a bit before but robin got hit by an arrow that was meant for nancy in the ciquest au, and because of nancy, she's able to find the will to fight back against the infection instead of succumbing to it, making it her own

One and the chimes sees how she's evolving and don't like it, so lence's suggestion of getting nancy takes priority, and so it happens

nance becomes quest and now the battle is on

robin is obviously devastated and the gang is slightly in shambles because of how much nancy brings to the table, and now she's gone—no, worse, she's being used for the other side

so robin steps up to the plate in multiple ways, trying her best to fill the void nancy was forced to leave behind

the burden on her is so heavy considering she got a power she technically never expected to have nor wanted, but now it's on her to make the most use of it

she usually questions why it was her who was in this situation and literally not anybody else who she thinks could definitely do better

lots of questions and wondering for her

now, unlike with renegade, she doesn't lose herself technically, but she gets close, like a lot

though should i mention that there was a little kidnapping that happened? the person who was kidnapped in question being someone who is very important to robin and may have caused a some strain and conflict for her and the chimes?

yeah, the chimes kidnapped steve to lure robin to them so that they can take her down

it was conquest's idea :)

robin was very much not happy about that btw

lots of things happen and as said, robin was very much close to losing it so many times but she doesn't for a couple of reasons

renegade is a completely new take and direction of ciquest and just four chimes in general, and im so interested in seeing where it goes, so very interested <333

i feel like im not able to tell robin's full story here, both because we want to keep some things hidden and also because my brain is kinda not working rn AHSFUHASF mb on that one

but yeah, that's generally it, tho if you got more questions, feel free to send an ask to either me or finn, and if we remember something in particular, we'll make sure to mention it

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And tell us more about the Chimes themselves please? Like what are they like? What kind of abilities do they have? I may need some ideas for a fight scene… hehe

here's the longest part because...lore dump yes

the chimes our beloveds <33

so the chimes. in our 68600 messages (as of the moment) of a four chimes dump, we've built up the characters and personalities of the chimes, and somewhere in this thread is the scattered information on them

now, i unfortunately dont have the time and patience to go through the thread to find all of the little information, but we'll do our best to give a good rundown of their characters

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here you go with the characters and personalities first:

famine

wields throwing knives

very loyal to One (meaning he gaslit her so much for that loyalty to come to be, a consequence of being his first chime)

wants to be the leader because she thinks (and is gaslit to think) that she deserves it (One really likes to cause discord between his chimes)

having no prior connection to the main gang—or thorns as they call the gang—besides eddie who is dead and a spectre here, so she's the one who has the least moments of "remembering their past life" before

is very brutal and ruthless and likely the one the gang got the most injuries from in a general sense

death

wields a large scythe

my secret blorb

most likely to actually defy One, and fun fact, he has an au called the runaway au where he, a chime in the middle of the battle between the upside down and right side up, got to run and escape from One before certain things happened, which then causes a chain reaction in this au ofc

he's a coward, and this plays a lot into his actions and interactions

technically had a connection with nancy in the gang, but with conquest here, it gets harder for him to connect, but robin actually steps up to the plate here

war

wields a sword

is the most balanced out of everyone when looking at his loyalty and his defiance to One, in the middle of the pack in that sense

his past life of abuse shows up a lot when it comes to One, so he tends to throw others under the bus to not get caught in the crossfire (not that he wants to do this, but he also doesnt want to gain One's ire)

just generally very chill, the most chill out of every one here

is the medic of the team because of how he's the personification of war

has a connection with lucas in the gang, so that's something that gets him to "remember" some stuff in a way

pestilence

wields bow and arrows

finn and mine's blorb

leader in og, former leader in ciquest/conquest

if you can only see the rambles we have on her…it will take days to get through

will take the bullet for the other chimes when it comes to One's ire

vec has a tighter hold on her because she's max

literally connected with everyone, will have a lot of moments where she feels familiarity (and will subsequently get punished for it later)

second most gaslit by One in a way, which is big oof

conquest

wields a sawed-off shotgun

the leader in ciquest/conquest aus

very protective of all the chimes and especially lence

vec also has tighter hold on her because she's nancy

last one to fall, was suggested by lence to be taken

more aware of things than the other chimes, but still completely controlled by One

same case as lence, but even more so considering she's been there since the start of it all (does her best to take most of lence's punishments as her own when One goes after them)

gets very hyperfocused with robin (vaguely aware the thorn makes her weak in some sense but quest doesn't care), but is frustrated she cant hurt her too much because lence will get hurt too (and maybe another reason deep down, but she doesnt acknowledge it)

all of them

they're all dog coded

One can summon them/call them whenever and its shown through the shivering cold in their necks, like what happens with will

One wants them to be just the way he wants them, meaning the way they died and got transformed into chimes must be how they are no matter what (this includes clothes, hair, weapons, and everything in general)

the only new addition he accepts them to have are new scars :')

the chimes have such a complicated relationship, but at the end of the day, post-vec, they love each other

note for them individually: there's a lot more that i want to add but my brain is blanking a little and i am probably forgetting some things, but here are some of the important things to note (remember this is incomplete to everything we wanna add ASFHUIASFh)

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some relationship notes (by pairs, groups are another story)

min clashes with death when it comes to lence, but otherwise are fine with each other, neutral in general but are connected as the first two chimes of One

min and war are not quite friends, more distant than friends but closer than allies… (very interesting when you note how they were in their Before)

has a very one-sided antagonistic rivalry with lence, especially when it comes to the leadership position (this changes a bit when quest is in play as she's the leader, but there's still the rivalry with lence despite not being leader in ciquest/conquest), will be very callous in a way with her, but they actually work well together, especially as the similar twin concepts of famine and pestilence

quest is able to take min's bitterness mostly in a stride and keeps her in check from being too antagonistic when it comes to leadership roles and just generally (helps because quest understands them in a way, though she doesnt understand why she does)

death and war are more or less chill with each other, most cordial relationship out of every single chime relationship and the least tension filled, just vibing so real (though war knows death is a coward and death knows that war knows it)

death and lence are surprisingly close, only second to quest for lence (and death too technically, which is inspired by their Before), this relationship is due to the fact that in canon, max got to see and technically interact with chrissy, patrick, and nancy, but never with fred, so we saw it and ran with it and now they're close here

death and quest are more or less okay with each other, and their Before helped them understand each other better, unlike the other chimes' Before affecting their relationships in another way

war and lence are complicated, since war throws lence under the bus the most (especially in og) to avoid One's ire, and lence understands why, because of her own Before (and it doesnt help that she takes bullets for the other chimes), but they're both fine more or less

war and quest are similar to min and lence with the similar concepts, war and conquest, fire and lava, war follows quest to the T (just like he does with lence in og but more so here with quest), and they work well together because of their similar concepts

lence and quest are the closest out of everyone, helped by their Before and their instincts with each other, confides with each other a lot and are just helping each other no matter what, tho ofc this comes with the consequence of One seeing this "weakness" of theirs and using this bond between them to punish them when he sees fit

although here's a note about this too: finn said "honestly tho their relationships r So complicated its hard to capture in a few sentences", and i agree, what you just read is just some general thoughts on their relationships, but god is there so much more to them all, and if we want to really show you the relationships in full, we would have to ramble it all out ASHUFIUASHF but yeah

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here you go with their abilities:

famine

knife throwing, very fast and precise

the fastest of the chimes

can cripple the energy and power of a person

takes down the food supply and wilts crops

can take the energy and vitality of a being and/or object

death

scythe proficiency

is the slowest of the chimes

everything related to death

teleportation through the shadows

summon bone beings

forming shadow tendrils kinda

exudes the ambiance of the end of life, striking a deep sense of fear

war

fireeeee

flame sword, very proficient with swords

second fastest of the chimes

use the molotovs and flamethrowers against the gang because fire for real

hot skin, literally

can cause a sense of crisis and rage in those near

lence

causes sickness (through arrows) and disorientation of people (through aura exuded)

poison arrows

has a balisong (one she had as max—this is an hc we have) and uses it as an extra weapon

second slowest of the chimes

infect people to insanity or to do her bidding

also wilts flowers and plants in general

aura vision (she's blind because of her interrupted transformation due to el but she can see the sort of "auras" of beings, especially the upside down ones)

quest

gun proficient (obviously)

very precise shots

her gun can either fire in a scattered way like a shotgun or only one bullet at a time, it depends on quest herself

lava (we were thinking mix of fire and earth for conquest, hence lava)

also hot skin, literally

in the middle of the fast and slow spectrum

can summon different types of guns, smaller guns takes less energy for her actually, but One doesn't like that so she doesn't do it much, if at all

all

sort of intangibility (only works when they're full on chime mindset, if their anchor selves start waking up and breaching the surface, they become vulnerable and the intangibility doesnt work)

connected to One's power

summoning their weapons

connected to their hounds (their horses)

faster healing

technically immortality (as long as One is around)

and bonus!

robin

connected to lence, draws power from her

trying to infect her even more causes robin to grow stronger and lence to grow weaker (this is important to note heheheh)

means she's a bit more feral though (she gets close to losing herself but doesnt fully)

becomes more durable and stronger and the best at dealing with the chimes in the long run

also faster healing

another note: i am very sure i forgot some things so yeah, assume this list is incomplete AHSFIUHASF but thats what we can remember off the top of our heads

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anywho, yeah! that's pretty much a lore dump and a half, except i also know its not complete and there's still so much more we want to say but are unable to mention it for several reasons

but maybe those are asks for another day (wink wink, go check out @lumaxramblings' askbox too yesyes)

thank you for the ask! and i hope this helped with the renegade au yesyes <33

see ya around

[sophbun]

Hi :)

Loved your valentines day post and was wondering what wizardry you used to fix clipping with the models? Mostly their adorable mickey mouse hands clipping into their gigantic cartoon heads. Did you meticulously adjust poses frame by frame? That's how I've been doing it so far and just wanted to see if i was missing something.

Any advice/tips would be greatly appreciated.

Love,

anon <3

so i picked summer idol because it only had a handful of parts where the clipping was noticeably bad (also the song just slaps and rins movements are so cute on sonic omg). and i just wanna say im not a mmd expert i just love to play around with it, so all i did was just go to the frame where the clipping starts and move it and it should sort it out itself depending on how long the clipping lasts. i did have some instances where id bend shadows arm in one part and it would just stay bent for the rest of the motion so i ended up rendering the original version and then fixed and rendered each bad part and put it over the top! very cut and paste but it worked!

the ending bit looked the worse but all i had to do was changed there center position so they wouldn't run inside of each other

both of them loved putting there hands through there crotch, u just gotta move the hands. theres still a few parts where there hand clips but it wasnt too noticeable so i left it in there.

at the end of the day it just depends on what motion your using! i had to give up with ones i really wanted to do bc there was so much to fix :( if youve read all of this hes a unlisted video of a request my friend made that i knew would look awful but i wanted to see what it would look like (i didnt edit anything i just left it as it is). and heres another one that maybe one day ill go back too bc its so funny

[basslinegrave]

mutant mayhem was good, loved the animation a lot

also they got quite creative with the dubbing, it was still a bit cringy but the idea was there, it feels like slovak dub is slowly getting tolerable

more thoughts not story spoilery but just in case under readmore cuz i do mention specifics so. slight spoilers under the cut

i just dont know who was the main target audience because as a family movie, i saw that people that grew up on tmnt disliked it, but if it was for teens it had too childish moments, but at the same time the audience being all kids was odd because they wouldnt get most of the jokes i think? and while the references were like. 'yeah every young person knows this', for some 'everyone knows this', i actually dont think 6 year olds have seen those things. like they mentioned a buncha animated movies (perhaps just in this dub, but im gonna assume they did it in the original) and i would say yeah kids watch some movies but i doubt parents make their kids watch ratatouille and megamind. they make them watch cocomelon and shit so like, many jokes were for teens and young adults imo but the story itself was very much toddler tv /hj

plus like, a lack of teen stuff for a movie for tweens, so i would say its for like, 10 year olds? but also not? i have no idea. conclusion: i wasnt the actual target audience but it made me laugh and since im pretty childish it made me feel like a teen again... i wish i was a teen again....*cries*

it was pretty chaotic too towards the end so its like a 7/10 for me. i also felt dizzy from caffeine and reallt had to pee at some point so i kinda didnt pay full attention during some fights but still 😶 also i liked the music used a lot but it could have been a teeny tiny bit betterrrr i did expect more so thats why. without any expectations it would be better

im gonna update my movie ranking if i even posted that

also spoiler spoiler spoiler but

the milking thing was funny and i feel like much funnier in the slovak dubbing because oh my god. but i also fear r34 so much. they are not safe unfortunately which sucks ass but 20% of the movies vocabulary being milking them its like. ahhhh stop youre making it worse this is gonna happen now. (it was funny though especially the machine)

note: taking the target audience thing with a grain of salt, just being affected by the airing time being 4:30pm - basically baby movie time, and the movie previews before the movie being paw patrol and such. But they also played such things before spiderverse, so. so. yeah. (also the paw patrol trailer was cute i have seen the first one online out of cuteness curiosity and it was adorable, not planning to watch this one but it was cute as hell)

[hysokaz]

leorio isnt "dad" hes like. irresponsible older brother who would let you stay up past 12 and give you cheat codes for gta4. addendum kurapika isnt a motherly figure he would let you eat off the floor

[plaguedoctormemes]

Ive been jumping on this blog on and off and just periodically checking things. I’m mostly just focusing my energy on drawing, my classes and my girlfriend at the present moment.

While drawing, i had been absentmindedly watching/listening to stuff (mostly ridiculous stuff that i used to enjoy + fandom drama postmortems for a little nostalgia trip, and a laugh and an eyeroll) and it got me to thinking about what i made this blog for and what plaguecore means to me as a concept.

It’s weird. i take it seriously yet not seriously at the same time.

I was not the first person to create an entirely plague doctor themed blog (that wasnt scp-related) nor was i even the first person to claim the word “plaguecore” but i am often attributed with these things anyway. It’s wierd and i dont feel important for it in any way whatsoever. I originally just cross-posted memes i found from other sites and created a few memes of my own and posted here for me to go back and laugh at and before I knew it, people that werent my gf or a couple of my friends followed me for it. I started using “plaguecore” because i thought it was a neat aesthetic that could be distinct enough from witchy stuff and dark academia and general goth things, and my plaguecore blog was made purely for myself and myself only (same as this blog).

I had haphazardly written what plaguecore meant for me on my blog and i guess the reason why I’m writing this post in the first place is that i have always (and will always) hope that plaguecore and plague doctors would be associated with positive things regardless of its bleak past and implications, simply because I want those things to be true. I want anyone to feel comfortable dressing up and wear a funny bird mask no matter who or what they are and smell flowers and try to be helpful and feel capable of learning something new even though they might not have all of the equipment or resources in front of them. But i can only want and hope things for things to be fine, and know that that cant always happen. I can only hope that i can try to be as welcoming as I can and listen. I can only hope that I and everyone else can do the same.

I and other people within this community- hell, any community- can try to help others fee safe and welcomed. Any person can aim to want an inclusive and safe space, but that is only an ideology and not something that can always be described, or can be a promise well kept. But that in itself is not a bad thing, either. Claiming something “is” or “isnt” is such a finality in language that, as I grow, I feel rather uncomfortable with. It claims that something “is” something, period, and can never change or become something that it “isnt”. It cannot be “better” and cannot be “worse”. I’d rather things get better, whatever that means to you and I. I want it to be inclusive, but i cannot forsee if that desire is respected in any way. People will come and go, and language and minds can change either on a drop of a hat or over the course of time. People will buy funny masks and dump them in a forgotten box once we find something thats new we’re passionate about. Is that a good thing, because we are human and we love to discover and experience new things? Or is it bad because we are fickle, we love the latest trends, or because we hate to be stuck on old habits that embarrass us?

Will i delete this blog once i find a new hyperfixation that resonates with me more? Will i abandon it so it stays in an archival state? Or will i continue this until I get a shiny new doctor costume and reinvent myself with a new silly name? Will i keep it just because it’s been a fun casual little romp, or will I leave if things change for me too much too fast? I don’t think any of these things are necessarily bad or good, i think.

Why am i writing this? I don’t know. I’ve just been weirdly reflective and reverent lately, i guess. Feel free to ignore it.

[readerinsertfanfiction]

Hello~ um i wasnt actually sure if we were allowed to send these on anon, i tried looking through the original post and couldnt find it mentioned. If its alright, could i maybe get a naruto blind date please? With the location being the training yards? (much love❤️❤️)

You’re always allowed to go on anon if you’re feeling too shy to request off! I have no rule for that, just be nice about it and I won’t bite!

Celebration Event; Blind Dates

Fandom: Naruto

Date Location: Training Grounds

Admittedly, it wasn’t the most romantic place for a date. The training grounds hardly inspired or encouraged the nurturing of favourable emotions between two, but what else had you expected when your date was no one other than the number one knucklehead and troublemaker of the village?

Indeed, it seemed that you had agreed to meet with none other than Naruto Uzumaki, village hero, former pariah, and so dense that you were actually surprised that he hadn’t invited you to Ichiraku Ramen instead. Though, you figured that it was most likely because he couldn’t pay for a second person to eat there, which made you feel all the worse.

“Oh, you’re already here!” The excitement of the blond didn’t go lost on you as you grimaced back, leaning against one of the pillars on the cliff as you watched the male come closer, dragging a bag along with him.

Clear blue eyes met yours as he came to a halt, a wide grin plastered on his face, not a worry in sight as he faced you, nor did he have a clue.

“So, are you ready?” the male conspiratorially asks you as he sets the bag down, untying the knot.

You can only sigh as you nod, unfolding your arms as you assumed a starting position. “Whenever you are, Naruto,” you called to the male but were met with an awkward silence.

“Uhm…”

Turning your eyes over the still crouched male your confusion only grew stronger as he pulled out a blanket, throwing it out as he revealed the contents of his bag.

“I was hoping for a picnic, but if you insist?” Naruto’s lips curled up into a pout as he said this, assuming a battle position as well as you relaxed, a giggle escaping your lips as you laughed at the whole absurdness of the situation.

“Wha? What’s wrong, did I do something funny?” the blond questions you frantically, just as confused as you had been before as you hiccupped to yourself, trying to get an answer out.  

Perhaps he wasn’t as much of a knucklehead as you had taken him to be.

--- Date20 rolls a (16); Success

Like what you read? Consider buying me a Ko-fi.

[hhawkeye]

9, 13, 38, 47, 50 🌻

9. What was your favorite article of clothing this year? Post a pic if possible?

definitely my dungaree shorts!!!

i wore them pretty much all the time from like may to september lmao. and ok i bought them in the kids section but you know what im valid for that!

13. Did an actor/actress catch your attention for the first time this year?

😐😐😐 i hate this. ok so OBVIOUSLY bill hader (not even just bc i wanna fuck him!! hes also very talented and the fact that he talks a lot about like, always wanting to Make movies but getting sidetracked and becoming famous instead and only now actually doing what he originally wanted to do... i love him and he seems like the kind of film bro who isnt actually an asshole about it which is VERY RARE) but also!!! michael ball. which is like sooo much worse? i met him and he called me a good girl and i was like oh ok cool im gonna pass out now

38. What was the best moment of the year for you?

OH MAN. um the time at comic con i told sebastian stan i was trans (bc i asked him to write trans rights on our pic) and he looked at me like i was Going Through Something and held my hand and was like its ok and i was like Thanks bc i guess hes probably experienced people coming out to him and having it be this emotional thing but i was legit just like fdgjkndfgn its fine ive been out for years dude its fine. anyway that was nice. also at the same con when i asked misha collins to write gay rights and i was like im gay and he was like NO?? REALLY???? and i was like damn alright like i KNOW its obvious but PLEASE. that whole con was fun actually i enjoyed it. anyway that wasnt the Best moment it was just something thats like incredibly funny to me.

umm. idk. the multiple long ass drives i went on with my friends? the time my friend and i went on a walk in the middle of nowhere in cornwall and had to climb through fields to get back to our friend’s house and we had to walk on a busy road with no pavement and nearly got hit by cars several times.

seeing the view upstairs and actually Feeling something

the aforementioned time i met michael ball and he called me a good girl and i didnt even have any gender angst bc i was like Big Arms Kill Me. OH the time i randomly met david harbour and almost fainted bc he was so huge

idk. every moment i was in london was good? i love london :( 

idk!!!!!!! i dont really have any Moments specifically that were like way better than any others but there were a lot of good times this year.

47. If you make resolutions, what will your resolutions be for the coming year?

LEARN TO DRIVE!!! like i OWN a fucking car which realistically will need so much work done to it itd probably cost less to just buy another one but anyway. i need to learn to drive but £££ is killing me.

get a new fuckin job bc im sick to death of serving people coffee and not actually doing anything meaningful

go back on t? idk this has been my resolution like two years in a row now and like... this year i got one (1) shot and then never went back so.

oh shit go back on my meds actually and maybe like go to therapy

50. What do you wish for yourself?

oof idk. that i pass uni this year and actually graduate, that i can get a job in tv, that i can actually DO something that i care about and feel even like semi fulfilled doing. idk. 

ty for sending these

[mieczyhale]

because tumblr is the way that it is i have no idea what you have/nt seen?? so i guess here’s just all the recent TUA-related shit ;snklfd @hellomyguru

it sure would be nice of them to notify people about notifications wouldn’t it??

my tags on this post:: #y e s #okay like i love the lil klaus they gave us #for sure#but klaus has curls?? and bby didnt really?? and like it makes sense bc considering reginald's.. everything.. he would have done whatever he#could to tame them / keep them under control yknow?? he doesnt like different and he doesnt like things that arent prim and proper#which is what he'd consider curls to NOT be#esp. with how wild those curls woulda been like#and i mean i know adult klaus's hair was more mess & not really curly but towards the end of the season you could def see his hair rebelling#so #anyway #here's wonderwall 

my tags on this post::   #klaus and dave#even if you play it with dave being 30 too instead of 40 this is still fucking funny#i can imagine this interaction perfectly and it kills me sfhkdjccj

a post on my change in how i tag my original TUA posts

a question you asked that i answered

a post on klaus, reginald, and medicine

a shitpost about dave

my reply to a reply on my broken jaw post

my reply to your reply on my broken jaw post

my tags on this post:: #does klaus know what he threw out tho?? like he barely glanced at the stuff he pulled out of the box before throwing it away#he clearly thought that whatever it was wasnt important - i mean he also wouldnt have cared bc gotta get them drugs baby but still#and at what point would he have told five that he threw out some of their dads shit?? like.. at which interaction would that have made sense#the dumpster?? not really. five immediately declares he doesn't care what klaus is doing and then klaus is distracted by the opportunity to#get some money in an easier way than normal and then he bit into a dumpster bagel and five was leaving. he left.#OH and now that im thinking more about it - klaus refers to the stuff from the box as 'priceless crap' / 'priceless shit' so there's a#chance he A. really didnt pay attention to what he was throwing away - which makes sense considering his desperation#or B. he forgot. drugs arent known for being great for your memory and then a lot of shit went down really fast so..#the lab?? also wouldnt have made sense for a few reasons but mostly bc at no point did they talk about anything other than fake eyes and#relationships. during the family meeting that five appears in the middle of?? maybe. but five had a very narrow focus and the others#talked a lot and over each other and the whole time klaus is off to the side sick - very clearly having a hard time focusing and staying#upright and again - a lot has fucking happened - so there's no way he would've even considered the papers from 10 months ago as being#relevant. IF he remembered them at all.#oh and then he didnt even really acknowledge the apocalypse thing until episode 6 and he spent all of episode 4 being tortured#and he came back and spent episode 5 just trying to adjust to being back - having just lost dave and left a warzone - and he just.. has his#grief to deal with so nothing else is even on his radar#what im saying is#there's a lot going on and there never would've been a time to bring it up even if he did know/remember what he threw away#in my big dumb pan opinion#i know this post isnt that serious but i read it and had to word vomit#anyway #sgkskccj #carry on y'all

my tags on this post::   #oh shit fuck!!! this!!!!!! im always here for emotions and powers being tied - ESPECIALLY when people dont know it#including the person who has the powers like... everyone being oblivious fucks#which is kind of why i agree with and support klaus's powers being tied to his emotions. 1. people just out here being completely oblivious#and ignorant towards klaus and everything related to him and 2. klaus being just as oblivious like.. between over half a lifetime of#substance abuse and addiction?? that happened in the first place bc klaus was terrified of and hated his powers?? there is so much that he#can do. i personally believe he's incredibly powerful and the longer he stays sober the more everybody is gonna see that#and none of them will expect it. tbh also?? i firmly believe - despite his alien status and knowing things - that not even reginald#had any fucking idea. bc i mean he clearly had no real idea of how klaus's powers worked. his training decisions proved that. his#experiments proved that. is there anything in canon to support any of this hc - you ask - why yes. yes there is. in my opinion of course. i#know not everyone sees things the same way. but 1. klaus returning from vietnam. he beat up the suitcase p well but while it sparks?thats it#and throwing it isnt - on its own - going to make it explode. thats just not believable. its a time traveling briefcase. that shits STURDY#and if im remembering right - it didnt explode right away. it didnt happen until klaus screamed and i dont think thats a coincidence#he does have telekinesis after all. and 2. making ben corporeal in the last episode. that did not seem like a conscious decision. he ran#into that room. got shot sat. ducked. and then suddenly he has glowing hands and bentacles was seen by all. it all happened in a matter of#seconds and it would've freaked anyone out but with his powers klaus wanted ben there - he wanted ben to help - even if he didnt know it#himself. in one second he had elevated emotions - elevated anxiety and possibly fear and he wanted to do something just.. ANYTHING. he#wanted to not die and he wanted his siblings to not die and he wanted to help but he alone couldnt and ben is his closest#brother - sorry not sorry - and then also sorry not sorry but ptsd?? from vietnam and guns?? yeah. so everything just.. fell together and#it triggered his powers. and i can see that happening a lot. he's having a hard day and he can see dave and talk to him but he#cant be held by him and it just makes everything worse and suddenly dave is THERE there and klaus doesnt know how he did it but w.e#he's just so happy he did. and he accidentally conjures patch while he and diego are talking about her and diego thinks klaus did it on#purpose. to hurt him? idk. but he's pissed and klaus is just confused - not really registering the heartache he had been feeling for diego#when she suddenly appeared. im leaving this with 2 examples only bc imma run outta tags otherwise fkdmdnd BUT give me klaus levitating for#the first time when he's sitting cross legged on the floor of the living room or standing idk but he's content and sleepy ans suddenly#there's confused voices and shouting and he opens his eyes to find he's in the same position but now he's five feet off the ground and#WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK yknow?? oooh and more on his telekinesis?? unintentionally launching shit at people when he gets pissed. luther takes a#little gardening shovl to the face. the others keep treating him like shit - like he hasnt changed - and he snaps during a meeting and a#vase JUST misses somebody's head or smth?? it would be great. and dont even get me started on the Not Fucking Dying aspect bc thats a whole#other rodeo. but even that.. i think its emotionally tied and how long he stays dead depends on how he felt when he died. he can control it#from the other side yknow?? anyway i def need to do an actual post on this i think later bc im outta tags lmao

[tumblunni]

is it weird that i get salty when the obvious pokemon bad guys end up being obvious pokemon bad guys? like.. it just.. KEEPS HAPPENING whichever villain is my favourite and was usually at least 90% harmless and comic relief in the original game will suddenly become deplorable and horrid and everyone was right for hating them and i’m a bad prson for ever liking them and MAN I should have seen it coming because they ~looked bad~ but yknow maybe i was just fuckin hoping for not stupid ugly = evil stereotypes, especially in a genertaion where the main villain is supposed to mislead you by looking pretty and all and its always this REALLY SPECIFIC THING where in the adaptation or sequel or whatever they’ll be all like ‘hey specifically the one guy bunni liked is gonna be used as the Prime Example Of A Worse Villain To Make The Other Villains Look More Redeemable’ charon got used as that in two separate mangas, and it was like a stab in the face cos thats the only time he ever got significant screentime thus it kinda overpowers his original game self amoungst the fandom >_> and now same for faba but he’s got WAY more screentime in the anime devotd to making it clear he’s The Worst and also hey lets have a canon sequel game where we take back the sequel hook we seemed to give about him being redeemed and nope instead he’s Even Eviller Than Lusamine and will join the New Villain Guys while you team up with wicke to take him down because like friggin OF COURSE the sexy mom lookin lady would be the one good admin of the two admins when the other one happened to have a grumpy face and a hunch. ITS ALWAYS THIS ONE ART STYLE. THEY LITERALLY HAVE AN ART STYLE FOR IT. I love nanu cos he’s literally the first character they’ve ever drawn with That Face who hasn’t been a villain. And like Petrel is kinda a bit less stereotypical too cos he’s JUST the comic relief and he never got any big ‘worse than the other three’ moment but im really reluctant to start liking him in case they suddenly do it >_> WHAT DO YOU HAVE AGAINST GRUMPY EYES, GAME FREAK?? also why has it twice been a science grump in particular also like this has happened to me in a whole bunch of other fandoms even when i pick completely different things as my favourites, i guess i just have REALLy bad luck.. I just.. like.. if that was what you intended with faba then you should have MADE IT MORE CLEAR like yes he’s still comical in his more evil anime incarnation and yes he was still evil either way. but in the games he wasn’t like.. unforgiveable horrible hateable nobody is allowed to have him be their favourite evil. He was pathetic and harmless and even the reveal of him taking part in making Type:Null was done in kind of a comedic way, like i know people drew a load of fanart of him being this crazy mad surgeon who abused this thing and kept it in a cage but seriously ingame you find out via HIS SELF HELP BLOG! he’s an egotistical selfish dumbass but he just felt like some sort of yes man who went along with all this evil shit cos he likes money and fame, not a guy who was like.. even smart enough to think of his own damn evil plots on his own. And he never had any scenes of abusing somebody’s pet owl or kidnapping lillie or Oh Man He’s Specifically So Bad That Even Team Rocket Hates Him. he was funny evil and now he’s just hate evil that happens to have some funny scenes. And I mean I know the problem is just that i didn’t predict the character correctly but I’m still salty about it. Cos literally anyone could have predicted it based on his appearance alone, and its like a punishment for daring to try and stay semi optimistic about a non stereotype existing. Everyone could have predicted this entire thing the instant that they showed faba and wicke’s concept art, AND THEY DID, and I had to endure a whole bunch of faba hate posts for months until the game came out, and I was like At Least Mildly Pleasantly Surprised that he was still evil in the game but he was harmless comic relief and Actually Pretty Funny and then people didnt have all that many reasons to outright despise him even if he still wasnt very liked. And I was super happy that there’s that easter egg of him appearing as a league challenger on certain days of the month, and I was hoping that maybe he’d get his act together in the sequel! just cmon nintendo, if you didnt give this to charon and now you’re taking it back from faba then can you please say at least next generation the ‘ugliest villain’ won’t also be the ‘so evil that even the other evils hate him’ archetype? I mean i’m not asking much, ive given up on asking for one of these characters to be the one who gets redeemed.. siiiiiigh

[ificouldflytotheclouds]

5 Seconds of Summer Self Titled Album Song Ranking (target edition)

I wrote this almost 2 weeks ago but I pushed it because of Youngblood’s release but so I don’t forget to post it, here is my ranking of 5sos debut album 5 Seconds of Summer. 

Like SGFG I will be shuffling the album

Before I even start I will say I feel like this ranking is going to be shorter than the last. I find it funny because this is the album I was so excited for when I was deep into 5sos, but I resonate with sgfg so much more even though I only properly listened to it recently bf I completely fell back in love with these idiots (that one of the perks of stepping back/not always being in the know, also there's more content to catch up on)  

**I do not include the older songs in the ranking such as heartbreak girl because I don’t view them as part of this collective and I think they would outperform the “newer songs” that were released with this album.

Kiss Me Kiss Me

A good song to begin this review. It is one of those songs where you want to run away with your lover, young, wild, and free.

Ranking: 1 of 1

End Up Here

Sigh. Lol, this album is going to be more difficult to rank because I feel like more songs sound similar. This song surprises me because of Michael's yelling/singing during the chorus. It’s not something I would typically be into but ugh it is such a feel-good song. Is it just me or do you envision the girl as older? I gravitate more to 'Kiss Me Kiss Me,'  partially because it’s at the beginning of the album ( I tend to skip the first 3 singles bc overplayed) but I think End Up Here is the better song.

Ranking: 1 of 2

Beside You

 It’s a cute song. COnsidering this was one of their earliest songs I think this speaks volumes of how far they would come. It’s simple but you can invision it. THe singer and their partner sleeping worlds apart thinking about each other. *Creates a music video in my head when ever I hear this song* 

Long Way Home

This song has been on my mind a lot recently so I think it deserves to get a higher ranking. It’s about taking in the moment and just more time with the people you love. It was memorable as I ended up my days at college.

Ranking: 1 of 3 over End Up Here

Heartbreak Girl

This is potentially the first 5sos song I heard (well actually I think I heard one of luke’s covers first, but that wasn’t really 5sos, and not an original song). Compared to Beside You I perfer this song. The feeling of this song is more complex, she appreciates everything he does for her but she doesn't see that he wants to be with her, but he still hopes the best for her. If I am not mistaken some people don’t like this song because it sounds like he wants to break them up, but I don’t think that’s the point. Like just because someone is taken or doesn’t like you doesn’t mean you can’t find them attractive or want to be with them. It’s different if you are ACTING upon that feeling and actually try to sabotage that relationship. This song is an honest song about desire and is also mature in that fact that in the end all he really want for her is the best, and that’s true love for you ladies and gentes

Amnesia

I know this was a single but this is one of 5sos’ best songs, ever, there's a reason Don’t Stop was dropped long ago but they still play Amnesia in concert. I know, at least for the US, Amnesia did really well for a follow up single. It was played on the radio for months, sadly no one needs to know that SGFG singles didn’t do as well (I think youngblood will be the middle ground because the singles are doing well they got their second number one in australia on a song that wasnt even going to be a single, I’m still not over it, they’re 3 weeks strong. And based on promo and how they’re talking about the album I really believe that this will be their best album yet and I have a feeling it’ll do well on the charts).

I think Amnesia did so well because it’s one of those songs that many people can relate to, while it is focused on a breakup I think it can easily be related to other forms of loss such as losing a friend or someone moving away, missing the better times…

Ranking: 1 of 4 over Long Way Home

Independence Day

While I feel like this song stands out compared to some of the other songs such as long way home, everything I didn’t say, and end up here… which all sound similar to one another. This song isn’t a winner for me. Never has been. I don’t dislike,  I am listening for a spark but Independence Day just doesn’t do it for me.

Ranking: 5 of 5

Out of My Limit

Shoot I forgot this song was on here too. Lol. I am not going to rank this to the album as a whole either. Lyrically it’s more exciting than beside you but right at this moment, sonically it’s not doing much for me (I love this song, something tells me that it’s recently been overplayed)

Mrs. All American

“That mini van that you drive really gets me going” Lol. Luke sounds good in the prechorus but I just can’t with this song. I never really cared for this song, honestly it makes me cringe a bit (like I can bop to it at time, but I will typically skip it).

I prefer english love affair.

Ranking: 6 of 6

Tomorrow Never Dies

I always think of the Transformers Soundtrack, specifically New Divide by Linkin Park (ps. The score is a nice listen while you need to focus and need be quick in your action). This song deseves to be in an action movie.

In a recent interview (ash london australia) the boys were asked to describe their new album with songs from their old album (a brillian question btw) and ashton said Tomorrow Never Dies which I find very interesting, if I am not mistaken, this will connect to the hiphop element that will be in their album which has be like??? But it’s nice to hear them talk about this song because it doesn’t get enough love.

I would thought that I would rank this song lower than long way home, but I actually think it’ll be higher because this song stands out on the album.

Ranking: 2 of 7 over Long Way Home

Good Girls 

This song grew on me. I feel like you need to be in the right mood for this song. But I can relate to this song, and when I am feeling it, I find it very empowering. Growing up I would be labled as a good girl and a lot of people thought they knew me but it was like go away you don’t know me (I mean I’m not that rebellious but it’s still like stop putting me in a box and trying to flatten it, I’m not a one dimensional character)

Ranking: 6 of 8 over Independence Day

Don’t Stop

Ok this was defs a bop at one point but now I just always skip it. Lyrically its cringe worthy. And I wasn’t about superhero 5sos. Lol. Some weird is too weird for me. The other day I said it was the worse song on the album, but after listening to other songs, I disagree. Mrs. All American is worse. This as least has a nice beat to it.

 Ranking: 8 of 9 over Mrs. All American

18

I’ve always liked 18, and it’s not just because it dropped when I was 18 it was just a nice coincidence. Sonically I enjoy it and lyrically there’s a story line to follow.  It’s strangely a sad song about the things they don’t have and they sing about 18 equating it to freedom (but is it really??).

Ranking: 2 of 10 over Tomorrow Never Dies

Everything I didn’t say

Wow is this me in a song? I’ve defs written letters over the things I’ve never said (somewhich I’ve actually told to people #yikes). The rumination of everything that is lost, feeling like you could’ve said something to prevent it from happening, but it was already falling apart, you were always too late..

Listening to this after 18 should make it easier to decide if it goes before or after but nope.

Ranking: 2 of 11 over 18

Ummmmmm close as strangers came on but I’m going to skip that one and do it last.

She look’s so perfect

I always skip this song. Heartbreak girl might have been the first single I heard from them but this song really won me over. I remember being so excited for this song. I don’t remember when the song dropped but I remember the music video dropped last period and me and my friend couldn’t wait for the bell to ring to be able to watch it. While there are better songs that could replace this in concert this is a bop, you can’t deny it, this is when the crowd goes the hardest.

As I have mentioned in other ranking posts I hate ranking singles. Especially lead singles. They get extremely over played which I feel like can make people dislike the song, to some degree. I also don’t view lead singles as a collective piece to most albums (or at least since We are never ever getting back together lol).

Ranking: 8 of 12

Close as Stranger

*gets emo* Tell me why my fav 5sos’ songs are sad. But ughhh. Luckily I don’t think about the reality of this song when I listen to it, otherwise I think I would avoid it. BUt I can defs relate to this. I think most people can. It’s a strange feeling. Often times most people know it’s happening, and you want to stay friends but suddenly there’s no longer anything to say. YOu don’t even know why it’s happening but… (it’s awkward when it’s not mutual, that’s a whole other hot mess we're not going to talk about - actually this is probably what saves me from still enjoying the song because this is just a generally sad song but when it’s not mutual that can feel awkward or backstabbing)

Ranking: 1 of 13 over Amnesia

~~ Album Ranking ~~

Close as Strangers

Amnesia

Everything I didn’t say

18

Tomorrow Never Dies

Long Way Home

End Up Here

Kiss Me Kiss Me

She Looks So Perfect

Good Girls

Independence Day

Mrs. All American

Album Review/Ranking Masterlist

[pearlrebs]

I guess i wasnt very clear. Easy to seem angry over the internet unintentionally. I mean to say; rebs url (a small thing) represented something to us. Xe left and we all really miss xer. Xe mattered to us and was a special part of tjlc. 1/8

In many peoples eyes this is an aggressive act. Im sure that you can see at least a little how we would see it that way. 2/8

I wasnt implying that you are not queer or that i hate queers. i was saying that, this is the internet, im not going to always believe everything everyone tells me. 3/8

Most queers i know, try and stick together despite our differences. And the fact that you seem very angry (could be reading into it) at a group of people who are predominately queer tells me that you COULD be something other than queer. 4/8

As you yourself said this is just a tv show...but its more than that isnt it? Why you spend so much thought throwing shade at rebs or the tjlcers or whoever, tells me that theres something else going on and that it is important. 5/8

banding together with like-minded people is the solution to the political shitfest we are in. I'd like to think that we could work thru our differences to reach our common goals assuming, we have common goals. (if im wrong, please let me know) 6/8

I dont see myself as a victim, im only sad. not in a pitying way. Its hard to describe. You were probably the victim of an angry tjlcer on here or witnessed the chaos and theres really no excuse for hatefullness (im admonishing my own camp here). 7/8

debate, yes, but never being mean just to be mean. That doesnt get anyone anywhere. I hope this makes sense and im not trying to offend you. I just think life is too short to hate. And its sad that there has been much on here. 8/8

I’m actually not angry, I think it’s all kinda funny. Though I do try my best to respond seriously to serious messages. The “go fuck yourself”s will always be met with a “sounds good,” but when someone takes the time to send a message like this, I tend to pay attention. Anyways...

First you say you’re not going to always believe everything everyone tells you, then you turn around and say that the tj//lc group is predominantly queer. Who’s telling you that? Hard evidence? Demographics data? A census taken by a neutral third party to determine age range and sexuality, and what direction they believe the show should go? As I answered someone before: anecdotal evidence is inadmissible in science and court for a reason. Of course since you’re a lesbian (a factoid gleaned from your profile, but if this is inaccurate, please inform me. But I could easily say you’re not, but I don’t, because when someone tells me they’re queer, I believe them, who the hell wants to be in a [most places on the globe] hated minority? [by “hated,” I mean high risk of murder, bullying, and homelessness, and possibly being a criminal act depending on where you live]), your experience is going to be skewed towards finding other queer people. You think the group is predominantly queer people, but from the outside looking in, even as a queer person, I’ve mostly seen a bunch of straight women geeking over two middle aged white dudes possibly touching dicks, and using “representation” as a mask. I haven’t mingled with your community — I’ve got my own, who are and aren’t queer all the same.

And again, I say that with full knowledge that it is anecdotal evidence from my viewpoint and experience. I could be wrong. But that doesn’t mean you’re right either. 

Moving on. Most queer people (I don’t like the term “queers” personally, but as a queer person, you can reclaim that word however you want) you know stick together despite the differences. Okay. But if our difference is that you don’t think I deserve rights, or that my life is somehow worth less than a straight person’s (voting Dump/Pence, specifically Mike Pence, who would rather a gay person go to a conversion camp — where the risk of suicide is nearly 70% — than be gay), then that’s not a “difference.” That’s almost a hate crime (and it actually is in some countries). 

I assume you and I have similar goals — stop the carney-handed mango. I assume all but the 14% of LGBT people who did vote for that cheeto in a wig, do. Hence why I make a point of saying I don’t hate Rebs as a person (although the fact that xer Patreon is still up, and xe’s still collecting money, despite the fact xe’s publicly declared xe has no intention on ever making videos again, and even taking the existing ones down, is a little less than the perfect angel everyone is insisting that xe is). 

Tbh, maybe I tend to befriend more queer people irl, but you know what else is important? Straight allies. To me, being LGBT+ is a description of where I put my genitals/my gender identity, and I don’t exactly bond with people over that. A shared struggle, yes, and if I see a queer person being bullied, I will step in. I can support a gay man’s rights, even if that gay man is going out there campaigning for the orangutan in a suit (and some did). I’ll say he should be allowed to get married to whoever he wants, and when his Nazi buddies turn on his ass, I’ll be helping him find a visa out of here, but dear Ahura Mazda, I wouldn’t be caught dead having a beer with him. In fact, they most criticism I’ve ever gotten for being trans, is from other trans people. Yes, they should have rights, but fuck them as individuals, holy shit, don’t tell me how to transition. You can be trans (or any LGBT+) and still be a shitty person. 

But like... about 10%-15% of people are queer. 10%-15% of people couldn’t have voted for our rights and won. Meaning we have a ton of straight people on our side. And that’s what we are: we’re people. I love Steven Universe and pizza. I’ll find people that love Steven Universe and pizza that didn’t vote for literally satan. 

I’ve personally never been wronged by a hateful tj//lcer. But as you pointed out, there was a lot of hatefulness that was slung around. I watched as people attacked Mark Gatiss for not making their ship canon, or call him straight (they really care about representation, don’t they? /s), attacked other queer ships, tags, bullied some other queer shippers into self-harm, etc. 

No, that wasn’t you doing any of that, and that wasn’t anything you participated in... This blog really isn’t about you, I don’t know why you’re so sad about it. This is about everyone’s actions that I’m starting to suspect we both found deplorable. Though I guess if you were a close follower of Rebs, you hated Mary from second one, which was really uncalled for (hate her for shooting Sherlock — I don’t, but it’s a reason — but that didn’t happen until we knew her for two whole episodes, half of a third, and she was just a lovely person until that exact moment). 

The thing is, it IS just a show to me. I’m just responding to hate until I get bored with it. But tj//lc it became so much more to a bunch of people, and that’s why it got so toxic. 

Again, THE PROBLEM is tj//lcers were demanding representation from a show, and writers, who were always honest that they weren’t going to give it. At least not in the way they wanted (and when it wasn’t in the way they wanted, they had tantrums, which is why I say: it was never about “representation” for some of them.). Rebs, even if it started as just a hobby, quickly became, and fed into this mass conspiracy that ultimately did end up hurting a lot of people. Possibly including xerself. That’s why I don’t feel bad taking your symbol: it is just a show, everyone had prior warning that jxhnlock wouldn’t happen, so the conspiracy was always just going to be fanfiction, and Rebs did some shitty things. 

The way people are freaking out... they need to get over it. Or if not, okay, soak in grief forever over a fictional ship, but there’s probably better ways of dealing with all this besides sending me hate. Because honestly, what does anyone hope to accomplish by sending me hate? Me to delete? Sure, let’s say I did that. Jxhnlock isn’t going to be any more canon, and Rebs isn’t going to be any less wrong, and all of the hate xe encouraged is still going to be out there. Oh, and I’ll keep responding, which really just makes it worse. 

Had people just ignored me — never sent any messages — there would be precisely one post on this blog, which was my original announcement that I had it.

Also — what have I said that’s “hateful?” Yeah, okay, I called rebs a “twat” for being a misogynist, I thought it was delightfully ironic, having a misogynistic slur juxtaposed next to that observation (like saying, “don’t fucking swear”), but no one got the joke, so I took it down. But otherwise? Saying John Watson is Straight is just a fact. Jxhnlock never happened, and since it didn’t, the insistence that he’s bisexual has no standing. He’s always said, “I’m not gay.” I never took that to mean he was saying, “I’m not gay, but I like men, I’m bisexual/pansexual.” Jeez, no, if he was part of the community at all, I imagine he’d let it pass, rather than get angry about the assumption (like Sherlock does, who is, said by the writers, to be neither gay nor straight. In fact, I’ve often heard that if you’re a good straight ally, it means not being upset if people assume you’re gay for standing up with them — so in some interpretation, he’s actually a bit homophobic). I’ve also pointed out that xe was wrong, which xe is. My banner is of Gatiss confirm jxhnlock wasn’t happening again — this is a thing that happened. Are facts “hateful” now? 

Also... “life is too short to hate.” I mean... I think I’ve got enough life left in me to hate the sentient tire fire that uses too much fake tan cream, and the apparent resurgence of Nazis in America. Don’t you? Shouldn’t you? 

tj//cers are definitely not on that level, but I don’t hate them, is the thing. I said this before: I hate no one in particular, just what the legacy produced. 

[incoherentlynonexistent-blog]

Unfortunate Outcome

Amazing how one person can change everything.....incredible as that same person becomes somebody they swore and promised to never become.....funny how you believed them, and the unfortunate outcome is the consequences you suffer because you trusted their word over everyone and everything....

It's so degrading...to now be where you're at only because you believed in something that wasnt ever real...

Hurtful to actually feel the loneliness kick in.....

Depressing to remember how little of an importance you were to them....

Unwilling to heal and move on because how do you pick yourself up after consistently being there for someone then for it to become abandoned and forgotten.....

It's the Unfortunet outcome to their mishaps that led me to becoming helpless and needy.

Sad thing is, I don't even know what it is that i want

Idk what I need....

I know I dont need this constant bullshit

Unfortunetly because I had so much hope and expectations

Its stupid to look back and realize how naive and oblivious I used to be

Now I guess they can say I made my own mess when they're the ones who lied and ridiculed me because I was drug along for so long

The most unfortunate thing about this is the outcome. Despite how much "better" they find this to be, I won't ever be able to be better....yea I have my good days, but even those arent good.....

Doesnt matter where they go

Doesnt matter the time they let slip by

Hell it doesn't matter what they do .

In still feeling the same things

I doubt ill ever have anything to help me endure this

I live everyday waiting still

I go about each day hoping anyone would love to be here again

I literally feel myself slipping

I'm already dead because of them

Added with how I'm still feeling

I'm not sure of this feeling will subside

It's all mind consuming

I can't just stop about this

It's the one thing that no-one understands

The reason why I'm like this

The answer is simple

Given the empty promises and then being just thrown way like yesterdays garbage

I'm miserable with this unfortunate outcome.....

I didnt get closure

Instead I get the only thing that's never changed

Them leaving my life.....

Something promised against but in the end

They all prove to be the same person that leff you to begin with ......

It's hard living and feeling like this

I have no faith

I don't have confidence

I'm trying to find a purpose

But I can't get far or enough to cease the memories....

They're just haunting to me now...

Only because of how and what I've done

You really think I can just magically become better

No.

It's not possible unless you actually are willing to be here

Or unless you actually gave me the closure I've been desiring

Until I'm given that

I will not get better.

I will not heal

This unfortunate outcome will be my life sentence

This isn't what I what wanted

None of this is

I don't want the depression

I dont care for the desire.

I just want to feel happy again.

I want a reason to actually smile and feel good about myself......

I just wished someone would hear me out

After asking for three years now...

I cant just move on

God Damn it man

If they only knew just how bad I really am

I wonder if things would be different....

I wonder if anyone wouldve left....

I just want someone to be here for me

Irs not ever been about my sex life or being in a relationship

My goal was to only be around the people who want to be here

Maybe ive beckne to fucked up to obtain that chance again

Unfortunate outcome is me being treated in such manner when the pupils who inflicted all that hurt and damage are the ones at fault for me becoming this way. They shut me out because I'm still fucked up over it. I was the original victim that became traumatized and untrusting, but I wouldnt be this irritable bitter suicidally depressed person that's unwilling to move on if it weren't for their actions.

I don't trust anybody any more

I don't even crack a smile

You know who you are

The person im addressing anyway ..

I hope you're happy

I hope you feel accomplished at what you created

With the unfortunate outcome that you refuse to have anything to do with what you started and fucked up numerous times......it leaves me like this.....

Idk how else to stress this fact

Because I cant get that little bit of respect....

When I shouldn't have been involved anyway

I should've walked away

I should've listened to the voice in my head

"Don't worry on going to the laundry mat

If I'd knew then what I knew now

I would've never showed up

I would have never existed

But its thanks to you ive gotten like this

Thanks to you I sit all day every day for the past few years pondering about whats wrong with me

Why am I not wanted. Why does everyone leave....see that's the difference between us, you're the one who does all the leaving. I linger because I believe in equal opportunity especially when so much effort was put into it in the first place. I believe in those who remain loyal and true on their word, but you seem to still believe in empty promises. You're using you're ears to see and you're eyes to hear. You're the most cruel and cold hearted creature. Not human.....because with human emotion, I couldnt do what you do, I cant lead them on, shut them out, I cant make someone feel like their the one for me, but then shut them down and out when the one I want is around. I will never understand you're selfish decisions and with how you know youve done wrong but you still don't bother to change.

Maybe I've become an unforgivable asshole, but that's the unfortunate outcome when someone so heartless just takes you for granted then you're the bad guy for not only reacting actually a little more civil than you should've, but because god knows whatever words come from my posts or even texts, god forbid they remind you consistently of what you've done. Everything I am and everything I do now is because of you..

Days I'm angry, I blame you

Days I'm depressed, It's your fault

Days I cut, blamed you because just the little bit of open honesty wouldve prevented me cutting myself, but only to relieve that pain that I cant get out through crying.

Its the pain that makes your chest ache and have the urge to just scream in agony. Its that lodged in lump that swells in your chest when everything that was promised, shared, and enjoyed together now sets this darkened, and dead look to it. I find myself shying away from every and any little thing that you had any relations to. My music has changed. My faith in life itself is nonexistent. Ive become so angry and bitter, that I am constantly snappy.

It doesnt matter how angry I were to get with anyone else, because every one probably tells you I'm fine.....

I'm not fine

Im not ok

I'm suffocating myself

Its hard to not still be bitter....

How can I not still be angry when you left once again.....ive been irrational and disrespectful, but I never thought that this unfortunate outcome would involve me getting worse....I figured at some point within these four years .....I figured you wouldve not done this so much that I'm probably permanently fucked up....I mean fucking look at me...have you ever seen anyone so pathetic and humiliating?....

Loving someone is so beautiful but sad, because when you fall for someone, there's some part of you that breaks too, its gone for ever because its with that person you wanted to give your whole heart to, but they'll only always have what's actually left of you. For some reason being in that persons presence or just respected enough to be even thought about by them, makes life worth living even if I were to spend it alone. Its not because you lack feelings or really the past that I held over your head....I just wanted for someone to finally treat me differently.....

You wound up treating me the same

This is my unfortunate outcome

Its been a battle especially the last two years

I've never in my life have I ever felt so much pain

Ive never loved anyone as much as I love you

The unfortunate outcome for you is me being gone when you want to come back

I already know how it's to be

Its why I never understood you

But I still kept trying to

Maybe that was my mistake

Because my unfortunate outcome is the distance between us and how little I've meant within the last couple years....idk myself what you could ever do to make things better.....

Unfortunate outcome is what's done is done....

Its ruined

We're ruined

Were gone....

The end....

Hope you're doing well.....

Sorry for being impulsive and annoying

I'm sorry for being a fucked up mess.

Wishing you a lifetime of happiness....

Wishing you luck on your endeavors

Ill miss you

I have been already

Life just won't ever be the same. I just know if it was went about differently I would be able to handle the sudden blocked phone and Tumblr better than what I am now. I'm wasting mt time is the sad thing because I'm sire you're thought is why if I'm to be the way I was before, well, it would be nice to have at least that wanting to talk to me or even asking things sbout my life. I literally have been wanting to fit in, and I'm sorry I tried to get in your way. I'm sorry for being this way period.....in sorry I can't bring myself to be better.....I literally feel like I have no other place to go or anything to do.....I should be doing soemthing with my life, bur in not.....only bevause I spend every day trying to avert seeing or even tbe chance to see you kr anything related to you That will rip my chest right then and there.

It's those things I want to feel better about.....I want to be able to see you without getting so severely depressed. That's the last unfortunate outcome, because of that, how I feel.....I think it's best if we just never saw each other ever again......Obviosuly you're already on that route but if that's really what you want, then you really will not ses me ever again. I mean you can scream yell my name. I will not look at any part of you.....I'm prudent because maybe youre right, just sticking with avoiding them, and I guess you do lose some feeling. I hate being like this. Idk what else to do. I dont need your help. I need your understanding. I dont need to be questioned, at least at what I'm doing, because idk anymore.....I get flustered easily because my mind stays so caught up on you that I fuck up everything I touch or work on.....then it goes back to the angry blaming you thing.....never ending......so how can I get better? What do I do? You just left. You didn't leave a note, you didnt say goodbye, and of all things I've ever done for you, you never helped my unfortunate outcomes...you rejected me time and time again.

I just idk how to be ok.....

I just feel like I'm losing touch with my existence

As in because you live in my mind so much I try to avoid that too....I've become a blank spaced emotionless robot....I'm depressed but I look solemn. I then break soon as I snap.....I'm getting worse.....idk its so hard to put into words. I just feel myself losing control over everything including my decisions.....

Whether you believe me or not.....I don't care to convince you anymore. Honestly I'm not even doing that now. I just needed to get what I could out....atleast While its flowing....well it was....I think I explained the best I could and linked the way I think...

Respond or don't respond

Respectfully, I'm refraining from tagging your blog name in the post. If you see it and or read it then its actually ok if you don't ever speak to me again.....I mean you're the one in charge and I know if you don't soeak first, then there's just nothing left to do but just hope you enjoy life.

Take care of yourself Kourt.....thanks for everything.....

[legos-lass]

@astrolindsey​ u dont have to read all of this youre my fiance and ik you love me already

1. Favorite (Reprise)

honestly part of your old (reprise) from the little mermaid (alan menken) just THOSE HIGH NOTES MMM. i love theres a fine fine line (reprise) from avenue q cuz its adorable but it is like two lines so.

2. already answered

3. If you could go back in time to see a certain production, which one would it be?

AMERICAN IDIOT WHEN BILLIE WAS ST. JIMMY. NO EXPLANATION NEEDED.

4. Who should write a musical?

i would watch the shit out of an existentialist comedic musical written by bo burnham. hes so hilarious and his songs are so catchy sjiowehefhe.

5. The routine you recreate when home alone:

every. part. of. one. day. more. from. les. mis. simultaneously.my bio used to be something like “my main hobby is recreating all eight parts of one day more by myself” and it is still true. but also hello! from bom but it fails miserably because i try to act out all the parts oof ouch.

6. A duet you’d love to perform and with whom.

if you were gay from avenue q with me as rod and john tartaglia as nicky. now hear me out ik john is supposed to be rod and rick lyon is supposed to be nicky but 1. rod is like My Role™ and as much as i also love rick, john was my fave member of the obc and ik he can do different voices well so...yeah hes gonna be nicky now so i can sing with him.

7. A musical everyone can learn from.

here we go again but avenue q. wowie zowie i like went through a midlife crisis the first time i listened to it but for now actually? changed? my? life? and everyones a little bit racist i mean cmon read my bio. theres so much about it that is so useful even if it seems a bit pessimistic. also elder price from bom learning to use his mission to actually help others and not just to be treated really well if heaven is some good shit but avenue q wins cuz i wasnt religious to begin with.

8. already answered

9. Favorite person to play (insert role)

okay well im gonna fill this in myself and say elder price and say MY BOY THE ETERNALLY PERFECT NIC ROULEAU I CANT BELIEVE I GOT TO SEE HIM ON BROADWAY AND MEET HIM!!!

10. Best digital #ham4ham

uhhhh well like i said in my last post i dont like hamilton really so i have no idea what this means sorry

11. Make up a name and the ingredients for a Waitress pie.

okay well ive only just started listening to waitress and im not nearly as creative with names (or passive aggressive with them) as jenna but uh i really like chocolate pie but ive never seen a nutella one so. yeah that sounds delicious. the name would be something about remington leith idk.

12. already answered

theres no 13 i guess cuz it is unlucky lmao

14. Express your love for the orchestras!

*inhales* GOD THE ORCHESTRA JUST MAKES THE MUSICAL. GO LISTEN TO ANY SONG FROM LES MIS AND TRY NOT TO GET CHILLS FROM THE INSTRUMENTALS I DARE YOU.

15. Favorite musical written by (insert composer, lyricist)

well lynz youre a FOOL and didnt send me a composer or lyricist so im just gonna reiterate that i love les mis it has been my favorite musical for so many years and i cant believe that my friend ryan saw it on broadway and i didnt.

16. Which part (or parts) do you sing in One Day More?

but especially my love eponine

17. A line that never fails to make you laugh.

runs to get my official avenue q script that i spent $20 on to make sure i get the line perfectly right

rod: well--i have this friend--

christmas eve: nicky?

r: no no--another friend. and i think he has a very big problem. i think--ithink my friend is (whispers) gay

ce: what wrong with that? you know rod. gay people make major contribution ro art and philosophy and literature for many hundreds of years now

r: but my friend isnt an artist--hes a republican. and an investment banker.

ce: ew. well tell him to stay in closet then. he good for nothing.

r: (a moment) ...well okay! great! thanks for the advice!

ce: yeah i wouldnt want a friend like that!

r: thanks again!

ce: bye now (she goes inside)

rod: bye bye! (beat. to the audience) ...shit.

18. An upcoming production you’re excited for.

DEAR EVAN HANSEN US TOUR

19. Do you have any funny misheard lyrics from a showtune?

yknow im sure i do but i cannot think of any right now...all i can think of is i used to think (on my own) “the trees are full of starlight” was “the tree’s are fluff’s delight” i have no idea what that means but it made sense to my young mind

20. A musical you would NEVER see with your parents.

avenue q. hahahahahahaha no puppet sex with rebecca and michael. but lets be honest my mum wants to go back to the city to see it off broadway since only i got to see it and if shes gonna buy me a ticket im totally seeing it again idc.

21. Musicals can introduce you to new cultures, interests, fancy words and so on. Name 3 things you’ve learned form musicals.

bom: literally everything i know about the church of jesus christ of latter day saints is from this musical except for polyamory and salt lake city.

hamilton: alexander was NOT a president. i really dont care about us history whoops

les mis: I Learned Im Not Straight Because Of Samantha Barks

22. Favorite OBC.

avenue q mmmmm love u john tartaglia

23. Cast recording you know by heart.

les mis movie sountrack i literally have like 98% of this musical memorized

24. Cast recording for a long car ride.

grease (movie soundtrack) is a bop and my whole family likes it *fingerguns*

25. Favorite Miscast performance.

i havent listened to too many and ik this one doesnt really count but idc cuz i love it. nic rouleau singing go the distance from hercules is my sexuality.

26. already answered

27. Showtune of the day:

im gonna go with two by two from bom cuz im listening to it right now and suidfuesrf it just kills me -the fucking chicken waddling walk ass choreography -WE ARE THE ARMY OF THE CHURCH OF JESUS CHRIST oflatterdaysaints -ORLANDOOOOO I LOVE YA ORLANDOOOO -PUTT putt golfINGGGGG -arnold: thats me thats me hello. kevin: oh. hi! in the most fucking “:)” voice ever

28.  Who would play you in a musical about your life?

i would hope samantha barks (les mis 25th anniversary and movie eponine) cuz we have similar ranges and shes so beautiful and she is my Favorite Theatre Actress

29. Who would play your best friend in a musical about your life?

im gonna go with dana steingold (ave q current kate/lucy) really for no other reason than shes adorable and has a versatile voice and seems really sweet. i feel like we would be friends in real life.

30.  Who would play your romantic interest in a musical about your life?

honestly like maybe ben durocher (ave q current princeton/rod)? idk he just has a voice that i love and looks adorable in his glasses

31. already answered

32. Describe yourself with 3 musical theatre characters.

eponine from les mis (what a surprise), kate monster from avenue q, sophie from mamma mia

33. A character that inspires you to be better. (does la la land count? im counting it) mia from la la land cuz she has a similar personality to me but less Anxiety which ends up helping her achieve her dream. i want to be like that

34. A showtune that always puts you in a good mood. bend and snap from legally blonde idk it’s just so fun and makes me feel confident it is nice

35. A showtune that makes you feel melancholic. there are worse things i could do from grease

36. Best showstopper. i believe from bom oh my gosh when i heard nic rouleau sing it live for the first time i had GOOSEBUMPS and it has just the right amount of humor to bootedit: OH JUST KIDDING LOVE U BOM BUT DEFINITELY BEING ALIVE FROM COMPANY OH Y GOD. I CANT CHOOSE BETWEEN NEIL PATRICK HARRISS’ VERSION AND RAUL ESPARZA’S THEY BOTH GIVE ME SHIVERS

37. A place you consider to be your Santa Fe. this must be from a musical i havent seen? idk well it looks really beautiful and not very busy so i guess...oakland? it feels like home to me

38. The name of the prettiest theater you’ve been to. eugene o’neill theatre (bom on broadway) was lovely. i had standing room only tickets so i didnt really get to experience it cuz i was stuck in the back under the mezzanine (still great view though) but i looked around a bit during intermission and the was very royal looking and they had a nice bar area upstairs with CHAIRS I COULD USE

39. The most intense scene from a musical. mmm thats tough. from the little ive seen of moulin rouge so far the tango de roxanne part looks really crazy. so is the cell block tango from chicago. or honestly a LOT of american idiot...i love how badass letterbomb is

40. A great cover of a showtune: i really love this male cover of maybe this time from cabaret (i found this thanks to hetalia 2p!america fanart lmao)

41. Put your phone on suffle and write the first 2 showtunes that appear. 1. master of the house from les mis (10th anniversary)2. mamma mia from mamma mia (original cast)

42. Best design of a Playbill. i love effective minimalism so once