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himbo-kuto · 4 years ago

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i saw this screencap from the manga and knew IMMEDIATELY that i would have to write a lil headcanon of aone and his turtle. he is literally the most precious person who deserves the whole entire world.

i hope you enjoy reading it as much as i did writing it!

genre: fluff, wholesomeness, a whole baked bean, college!au pairing: aone x gn!reader word count: 2k warning: language

okay so you ended up being roommates with aone, futakuchi, and mai when you ended up transferring colleges last minute and needed housing

you saw that they had an empty spot and with time not being on your side, you decided to take the opportunity!! apt 205 squad!!

at first you kind of felt left out since they all knew each other from date tech but you soon warmed up to futakuchi since you had a few classes with him and mai because well-- you guys shared a room

HOWEVER!! one person you couldn’t seem to get close to was a man by the name of takanobu aone-- lemme tell u sumn about this Baked Bean

whenever you tried to interact with him, all he would do is 👁 👄 👁 or just Grunt in response

you were a bit discouraged because you thought he didn’t like you so you shied away from talking to him again :(

but futakuchi was quick to ensure you that was just his way of communicating and that he was actually really engaged in the conversation

“oh yeah, he’s a great listener-- i talk to him for hours and he just sits and listens”

“ok futakuchi-san, but have you considered that you talk Too much for your own good?”

he gave you the finger for that one

but omg the first time aone Spoke to you????? rocked ur mf world-- what the Heck!!

you were in the mood to bake some cookies and were looking for the big mixing bowls but you just remembered that futakuchi used it to try and make a baking soda volcano

why??? who knows but all you do know is that he put it ALL the way on the top shelf-- and for what????

but u know-- bein dumb as dirt u tried to use a swivel chair to try and reach for them

and of course it was all the way in the back like wtf curse these tall men--

and so you got on your tippy toes and right as you were about to reach it, Of Course the chair decided to turn

and u were 🤏🏼 this close to eating shit but thanks to the one-- the only-- tol angel baby aone, he stopped the chair dead in its tracks just in time for you to regain your balance

“are you okay?”

you were so shook (one from almost breaking your face and two-- AONE JUST SPOKE AND SAVED YOU!!!)

at first you just stood there blinking down at him with the bowls in your arms like hinata season 4, episode 15 - 15:37

he held up his arms to you and you blushed so hard because was he really about to carry you down????

but before your mind had anytime to roam, he pointed to the bowls and you realized with your real eyes that you were not the one to whom he was referring to

it wasn’t long until you got over your initial iron wall with aone (…. 😏) and he actually ended up being someone you hung out with on a regular basis

mai was always out studying for her practicals in the library while futakuchi… well.. who even knows what the heck that man is up to..

but ANYWAYS!! you guys would hang out mostly in the living room to watch TV, do homework and eat meals-- he always helped you with your math homework and you helped him with his architecture models!!

you didn’t really know what he liked to watch but he didn’t seem to oppose whatever you had on-- however, you Did notice that whenever you put on volleyball he stared very intensely at the TV only stopping when commercials came on

aone Always ate your home cooked meals without fail

literally such a sweet and appreciative boy as opposed to futakuchi who would complain but one time aone gave him That Look™️ and he shut right the fuck up

that day forward futakuchi ate all your meals like a good boy

aone has also become very protective of you-- in high school, he may have locked onto the aces of the other teams, but in college he locked onto his close friends to make sure they were safe

one time you guys got onto a cramped bus to go grocery shopping and all it took was this creepo man to just Look at you the wrong way for aone to stand right in front of you and shoot this man a death glare that said “if you even think about touching her i’ll put you into the ground”

HE MAY HAVE A HEART OF GOLD BUT DONT MESS WITH THE PEOPLE HE CARES ABOUT OR ELSE IT’S HANDS

but know this ladies, gents and my non-binary friends, we MOST DEFINITELY sit next to aone on the bus and engage in the best of conversations because tHATS WHAT THIS MAN DESERVES!!!!!!!!!

not to mention all the times he has saved you due to your clumsiness and overall single brain cell fueled activities

one fateful day you were sitting in the living room as you saw aone come home with a whole bag of groceries

he didn’t put them into the communal fridge so you were a bit confused as to why he took them straight into his room

you weren’t one to just bust in there to try and find out so later when you guys were eating dinner you asked him what he bought at the store

he listed off a bunch of produce and then said that they were for his turtle!!!!

you were all !!?!?!??? 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺 TURTLE?????? WHERE??? HOW LONG HAVE THEY BEEN HERE??? CAN I SEE THEM?

he goes on to tell you that he’s had the turtle ever since they all moved in!! but it never came up in conversation so you never knew until now

him and futakuchi rescued the turtle but when they tried to let them go, they didn’t go anywhere so they kept them!!

so after dinner you both quickly washed the dishes, and he brought you into their room to show you his turtle

you were honestly a bit nervous going into their room-- like what were you to expect??? was it going to be messy?? stinky?? clean??? were there any secrets????

but to your surprise it was fairly clean and simple-- even futakuchi’s side (which you assumed was aone’s doing)

you looked around his room to find all these old pictures of date tech on the wall, many of them with futakuchi and mai

there was even a photo of all the third years clinging to aone like koalas on a tree and though his expression was faint, you could tell that he was happy

it warmed your heart to see that he got along with his teammates and held these memories close to him-- they accepted him for who he was and that was more than enough for you

he also had plethora of architecture books on his shelves which made you wonder why he picked that major in the first place

but you shrugged it off as you looked over to his desk

there was a table next to it with an enclosure and a cute little turtle sunbathing underneath a lamp inside

you scurried over to the tank, getting down on your knees to get eye level with the animal while you slowly brought your face to the glass

the turtle was half curled into its shell, looking up at you as he gave you a slow blink

you could’ve sworn you felt your heart explode and melt all at once in that Exact moment

you looked up at aone with 🥺 eyes before looking back to reptile to see them poking their head out to fully greet you

you squealed internally as you wiggled your finger as your salutations

“do they have a name?” 🥺

“ichigo-desu...” (strawberry)

you thought your heart exploded before?????????????

oh bitch you felt like you were about to go into full blown cARDIAC ARREST MY G O D!!!!!!

“did futakuchi name them?”

“no i did…”

you literally hunched over, and leaned onto the desk for support as your heart was filled with his soft boy energy because there was no wAY!!! DID AONE JUST NAME THIS TURTLE ICHHHIGOOOO BITCHHH AHHH

but lowkey aone was also being filled with your soft energy and got all blushy-- but thank god you were too occupied by his turtle to notice

“do you want to feed him a strawberry? it’s his dinner time too”

you could not have said yes faster to this man

he went into his personal fridge and there you saw all the groceries he had earlier that day!! he pulled out a single strawberry before handing it over to you

he walked over to the tank and cautiously pulled out ichigo before placing them on the ground

HOWEVERRRRRR!! what came next you didn’t expect at all

he walked around so that he was behind you, gingerly reached for your hand and guided you to hold the strawberry out for ichigo

ichigo craned their neck in the sight of the fruit and started chowing down

and by God you hoped that aone could not hear your loud ass heartbeat and see your red ass face-- (you were surprised that ichigo wasn’t going after you since your face might as well have been a strawberry)

you two sat in a comfortable silence as you watched the little reptile enjoy his dinner

as ichigo drew closer to the leafy bit, you wanted to ask aone if he was allowed to eat that part

so you turned your head to the side to speak but immediately closed your mouth as aone’s face was only centimeters away from yours

you thought you were red back then???? bitch buckle up cause we’re reaching a new LEVEL of red

at that moment you were no think, no thought, head EMPTY as you just stared at his profile

all of his features were strong... the bridge of his nose, his jawline, his expression-- he himself was a strong man and you just wondered how all this soft, fluffy, wholesomeness was packed into this 192cm man

and just as you relaxed into this position

FUTAKUCHI BUSTS THROUGH THE DOOR WITHOUT ANY KIND OF WARNING JUST TALKIN OUT OF HIS ASS

at first he’s so absorbed into his own conversation that he doesn’t even notice you guys in that position

but when he does??? it’s like those moments in animes where you’re all chibitized and you just have circle eyes and a blank expression o_o

you IMMEDIATELY come to your senses, releasing the rest of the strawberry and aone’s hand

if you could peace fade in this moment, you would’ve definitely flashed futakuchi a duces

but alas, you could not..

so you scrambled to your feet-- but not before thanking aone for letting you meet his turtle-- and RAN out TF of that room heart a BEEATTINN

from that day on, you visited aone and his turtle a lot more-- even going so far as buying things for ichigo!!

“hey aone-san, did ichigo like the squash i cooked?”

“mm.”

“hey aone-san, does ichigo like the new hide?”

“mm.”

“look aone-san! he can’t grip onto the cherry tomato!! it keeps rolling around!”

“mm.”

many of your conversations went along like that and he always appreciated the amount of effort you put into them

he wasn’t a man of many words but did his best to make sure you knew that he was listening and engaged

at one point mai and futakuchi said that “he has spoken more words to you in these past few months than he has with us in 3 years”

you were surprised but also flattered by the fact that aone was comfortable enough to open up and have conversation with you

although it was a bit of a rough patch in the beginning, you were glad that you became a part of the 205 squad! it was you, aone, futakuchi, mai and ichigo against the world!!

#haikyuu imagines #haikyuu x reader #haikyuu #hq #hq imagines #aone takanobu #aone headcanons #aone x reader #headcanon #im simping for this man know that rn AHAHAH

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thatspookyagent · 4 years ago

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Meeting and going on a date with Mr. Gallant would include...

Requested: Nope!

Warnings: Implications of smut (no actual smut), some sexual themes, some detailed making out (mainly just fluff), Dom!Reader (if you squint hard enough)

A/N: This is my first time writing for an Evans’, which I plan to do here and there but casually so no I am NOT currently taking requests! This isn’t AU based btw, this just happens a few days before the nuke hits! If y’all want I can make more Gallant headcanons that are geared towards dating and what not! Upon writing this I realized that it is quite gender neutral, so feel free to insert yourself into this however you wish! That being said I’m testing the waters with an AHS character I know I’m comfortable writing, so feel free to give me feedback/constructive criticism!!!

Folks I’m deciding to tag because I think this might be of interest to you (please let me know if you want to be taken of): @kitwalker02 @sojournmichael @jimmason @tatestripedsweater @darlingkitt

IMPORTANT: To clear up any misunderstandings around the dialogue, I decided to put everything the reader says in italics so it’ll be much easier to identify and (hopefully) eliminate any possible confusion around who is talking!

You decided to move to Santa Monica upon hearing all the buzz about hair salons and needed in (cause that’s what the rich do)

Definitely didn’t think you would meet a potential partner

Gallant saw you walk in and immediately swooped in, snatched you up, and sat you down in a chair

“So, what do you need today? “A good blowing.” Gallant: O_o “With the hair dryer...I meant-”

You two go on and on about the newest fashion trends which makes Gallant smile from ear to ear

You mention how you adore silk neck-scarves and have an entire collection dedicated to them which is enough to make Gallant rock hard

At some point you two begin to roast the fashion choices of certain customers that walk in

“What IS that on her head?” “Whatever it is, it died for the wrong cause-”

After hitting it off at the hair salon, he slips you his number, and gives you a wink

“Call me later~” “For another blowing?” “Sure thing~”

He makes reservations to only the hottest place in town, treating you to only the best restaurant, and making sure that you’re getting the best service

Upon sitting down and trying to make small talk, you ask about his private life and family

Oh lawd.

The entire date consists of Gallant unloading (in a bad way), just ranting about his push over for a grandmother, and how much she irks him

“You know, the other day, she had the AUDACITY- the AUDACITY to say that my orange neck-scarf made me look like I should go traveling around in van while solving mysteries with a Great Dane- I mean COME ON- I don’t even LIKE those kinds of dogs-”

“But I think you would made a wonderful mystery solver!” “Really???” “A handsome one nonetheless~”

He then goes on to rant about just how underestimated bunions are when it comes to massaging them and how he swears he caught some kind of deadly toe fungus from his grandmother’s feet so if he grew a third eye then you’d know who to blame

You make sure to affirm him every so often, complimenting his looks and choice of attire, his skills with hair, and most importantly just how loveable he is

You can’t help but laugh at his stories which makes the entire date just that much more enjoyable, especially when you would catch Gallant blushing from time to time (which he swore was due to you the food being hot)

Eventually it gets late and the both of you are done eating, you insist on paying for two and taking care of him (which awards you a visible shudder from the white-blonde male)

He attempts to coax you into coming back to his place, at least to walk him to the door and say good bye, and then have his driver take you back to your home

You oblige and he hastily grabs your hand, the both of you chortling as the two of you climb into the back seat of his limo

Soon it’s just you and him sitting in silence until you decide to softly brush your hand against the fabric of his pants which in return makes him look up at you with a glint in his eyes

Leaning towards him softly, cupping his left cheek with your right hand, and giving him a gentle kiss against his pale pink lips

Making sure to look him dead in the eye before saying “You just don’t realize how important you are Gallant...”

He quakes delicately within your hands and utters a nearly inaudible “Thank you.” before going back to kissing you

With every kiss, you make sure to take time to praise him in-between breaths

“Good boy~” “You’re such a good kisser, you know that?” “You know all the right spots~” “There is simply nothing inadequate about your performance, Mr. Gallant~”

This easily grants you whimpers and faint huffs of enthusiasm from the bleach blonde man, who also gifts you with moans of approval at your choice of words

You now move down to his Adam’s apple, slightly rubbing against the thin stubble around his neck and mouth, mumbling more and more words while earning more sounds from the other male as you stopped here and there in order to graze your teeth against his skin

All of that praise is nearly enough to send him over the edge but once you feel the car halt, you pull away with a smile, and Gallant faintly laughs to himself

“What?” “I’ve just never had someone tell me that I’m important since- forever...” “Well everyone should be telling you that, nothing is complete without you.”

The both of you slip out of the limo, intertwine hands, and walk up to the entrance of Gallant’s fancy house

Noticing that Gallant was carrying his head quite differently and more erect, you couldn’t help but smile at the fashionable hairdresser’s new confidence

Raising his right hand up to your lips, you gave him a soft peck on the back of it, and looked him directly in the eyes

“What could you possibly see in me?” “A man who deserves the world.”

The two of you gave parting kisses, then wished one another the best but not before Gallant slipped off his silk neck-scarf and handed it to you, giving you something special to add to your growing collection

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pocket-void · 4 years ago

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Hi Mock!

I wish you a good morning! (It's currently 8:30 am here and I hope you are asleep wherever you are because healthy sleep schedules and all that!) 🌻

I just found out that you write, too, and I've read "A cup of coffee" and honestly, is there something you can't do? Because that was really great! I enjoyed reading it so much!! And I love your Logan in it!

And can I ask: where so you get the motivation to do all this great stuff? Drawing, writing, school? Like, I have like 5 different writing projects screaming at me because I don't work on them and yesterday I outlined yet another fic that I'll probably never write because I just don't have the motivation and - how do you do it? Because I want to write. It's the best thing in the world to me. But I just can't get myself to do it, and when I do, everything I make feels kinda... not good. Ugly, if you will.

So I guess I just want to know what I can do to get myself away from that? Because I really need to write, I'll go insane otherwise O_o

Anyway, have a wonderful day and eat a cookie!! 🌼

Y’all who can format stuff in asks will never cease to bamboozle me. O///o

But hello!! I believe it’s the afternoon where you are now! ^\\\^ (Not to worry, if there’s one thing I try to get enough of it’s sleep!)

Heidhwkfns Yes I write too but it’s incredibly on and off since I’m not as confident with it and it takes much longer than art! >\\\< I 100% want to write more often tho, but my need to accomplish stuff just finds art less time consuming. I’m really glad you like “A Cup of Coffee” because I’m quite happy with how that one turned out! ^\\\^ (And also just genuinely surprised at how many people enjoyed it) So thank you!! ;///;✨💖

So, here’s the thing. I’m just a normal person, just like anybody else! There are days where I have 0 motivation to do anything, and days where I’m way too motivated but still do absolutely nothing anyways lmao- I can’t say that my experience will work for everybody of course, but I can try to explain how I feel or how I work things out when I don’t feel like doing things. u///u

The first step is to forgive myself, because it’s going to be ok. There’s nothing wrong with having an off day, and nothing wrong with not accomplishing anything for now. There should be no guilt involved in not touching something for ages, god knows I’ve got so much in the “maybe later” idea box that I will never get to. But that’s ok! My creations will never blame me for not working on them, so in turn I promised to never blame myself for it either. And if I ever go back to complete one of them, great! But if not, that still doesn’t mean that it was a waste. Everything you make has value, finished or not.

The second is to remember that I love them. I love them a lot. I love creating, I love art, I love writing, and I love the process behind them! What you write and create will never complain if they are “not the best” or “ugly”. Their value comes from how you feel about them. Nobody else’s imput matters. So what if it’s not great? So what if it’s a mess? My terrible crayon drawing from when I was 4? Love it. Still has my whole heart. They’re on my bedroom wall to this day! (Neatly framed and hung, courtesy of my dad) I ask myself why I sat down to do something in the first place, and the answer is always going to be because I love doing it! Everything I make means something to me, no matter how bad or how small. Because at the end of the day, I made something. And it’s all the reason I need to love it.

It doesn’t matter if this doodle looks bad or this draft makes literally no sense because even if it’s not good, I did it. Even if I feel like I’m going nowhere, I know that each creation is a small step in my long long journey of improvement. It might not seem like that sometimes, like everything we do doesn’t really seem like it’s getting better any time soon, but we can never tell unless we keep doing it right? Instead of being upset that I’m not very good now, I decided to try and look forward to how good I eventually will be. I find that prospect exciting! We never know how much we grow until we get there, it’s like a happy surprise! ^\\\^✨And in the meantime, I am allowed to be perfectly happy with what I already can do. How far I’ve already come. Even if other people tell me otherwise, even if it’s true that it’s not very great, who’s to say that I will always be? Not me, that’s for sure.

I am willing to be patient for the sake of what I do, because I am willing to do it for an eternity.

There is no race in doing what I love, because I am the only one on this path. I can see other people on their own paths too! And sometimes they’re faster and have way better stamina than me, but their final destination is ultimately going to be much much different than mine, even if we’re going in a similar direction. So there is no point in trying to match them; I decide to walk at my own pace. It’s much easier for me this way. Take breaks! Drink some water. We’ve all got our places to go. ^\\\^

Third thing about getting things done is, well, getting it done! Do you know how I wrote “A Cup of Coffee”? I pain stakingly stared at it all day with frequent breaks in between, read it a ridiculous amount of times until it didn’t sound like english, and had text to speech read it back to me a couple more times just so I could make sure, because I really really really wanted to finish it. And it probably was kind of messy, hahaha. >\\\<

I’m not suggesting you do what I did btw, because it’s not even how I always write things! My other story “Table for Two” was written under a much different context. For that one, I wrote parts of it on different days. I took walks thinking about how I’d word things, how I’d imagine the scene going, and how I should pace sentences. I actually deleted the entire first paragraph and started over a few times because it didn’t sound right. Then one afternoon I decided that I wanted this story done. So I sat down and did what I could, edited a few things afterwards, and tentatively showed it to a friend. I didn’t edit it much after that, but it was done!

If I learned anything from highschool, it’s that doing something imperfectly is better than not doing it at all. I’m still a pretty picky perfectionist and a terrible procrastinator, and it’s not easy! But I would much prefer something I make to be “messy but complete”, rather than “pretty good so far but not finished”. Personally for me, getting started is the hardest part of doing anything. I have yet to find an easier way to do it, but I know that sometimes I just need to sit down and do what I can to start writing. If a sentence sounds weird, I keep going, because I can come back to it later! But if a sentence doesn’t exist, I can’t fix that without, well, writing it. o///o So I consider that a start!

I definitely understand you when you say that you can’t get yourself to write because I currently kind of can’t either. >\\\< I have outlines that I won’t ever write, I have ideas that I’m not gonna get to, and I’ve got fics that I worry won’t be as good when I write them. But maybe today I’ll sit myself down and just write one sentence. Give it a title, make a document, and stare for a lil bit. Give it a beginning. Because for me, sometimes drawing the starting line somewhere helps. Maybe it can show me what direction I need to go in just a little bit clearer. u///u

At the end of the day, the thing I say all the time is enjoy what you do. It’s just genuinely the most important part of doing anything to me. Yes it can be hard and sometimes we worry about how it’s gonna be, but we still do it don’t we? We come back and try again because we love it. Because we really can’t live without it. So what’s wrong with just...doing it?

That’s how it is to be a creator for me, I suppose. And from one to another, I genuinely wish you the best of luck on your journey!!

After all, there will be no other quite like it. u///u💖✨

#have a wonderful rest of the day as well!#i can only give advice from my own experience #I hope this helps in some way #oh and school is a different can of worms unfortunately >\\\<#but since thats already a hassle I try my best to enjoy the stuff I love doing y’know? o///o #fairy!#mock talks #ask #mock #long post #art tip

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ga-yuu · 4 years ago

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Ikemen Genjiden “My Dear Exclusive Bodyguard” Story Event - Yoshitsune route

One day when the wind at dusk became a little cooler....

I finished working as a pharmacist in the town and came back to the mansion. The work in Hiraizumi is progressing smoothly, and the number of patients are also increasing.

(I think it’s time to get some more herbs)

I heard from my colleagues that the medicinal herbs I’m looking for were mostly found in the mountains that separate Hiraizumi and the neighboring country.

(it’s going to be little far, so I need to get ready)

As I was walking in the hallway while thinking about that....

???: “Yuno”

A soft voice calls out my name and I turned around.

Yoshitsune: “You’re back.”

Yuno : “Yoshitsune-sama, I just got back.”

Y/s: “Really, welcome back.”

Yoshitsune spoke and reached for my head.

(.........)

He started stroking my hair gently like it’s the natural thing to do.

Y: “Sorry, is it a mess?”

YS: “It must be the wind that touched your hair.” (*^‿^*)

When he tells something straight , my cheeks became hot.

YS: “By the way, I have something to tell you. Will you come to my room?”

(hm?)

I entered his room and sat next to Yoshitsune.

Y: “So what is it....?”

YS: “Recently, there has been reports stating strange incidents in the neighborhood.”

Y: “Strange incidents?”

Yoshitsune went silent for a moment and then continued.

YS: “Women and children who have gone into the mountains seem to be missing one after another. There are rumors about some god.”

(......! It might also be an ayakashi?)

YS: “Because it’s outside our jurisdiction, there’s a lot of uncertainty about the details of the case. You go to the mountains to pick herbs, right?”

Y: “Oh yeah, I was about to go.”

Suddenly Yoshitsune hugged my body. My heart started pounding when his neat face approaches.

YS: “It’s dangerous to go alone. Let me protect you for a while.”

(I’m very happy to hear that, but......)

Y: “Isn’t Yoshitsune-sama busy?I can’t trouble you. I’ll try other ways to get it.”

YS: “But that would take time.”

Yoshitsune hugs me tightly.

YS: “No worries, I can make time to protect you.” (づ ◕‿◕ )づ

(..........It sure will take time and I can’t even avoid my patients)

Y: “I’m sorry you have to do this, but is it okay?”

When I asked him, he gave me a soft smile.

YS: “Of course.” (〃＾▽＾〃)

Y: “Thank you! Please take care of me then.”

YS: “You don’t have to be afraid.”

Yoshitsune’s hand gently strokes my cheek.

YS: “I’m glad you can count on me.”

Y: “Yoshitsune-sama....” (//ω//)

I closed my eyes slowly as his lips approached. After receiving a soft kiss, I gently hugged him back.

(When I first met him, I never thought Yoshitsune would love me like this)

Three days later......

I got dressed and walked down the hallway towards Yoshitsune’s room.

???: “Oi”

Y: “.........!?”

Someone pulled the bamboo basket I was holding from behind and I turned around to see Kurama.

K: “What’s with this ugly basket?”

Y: “I’m going to the mountains for picking some herbs. The basket is for that.”

K: “I don’t think so. Yoshitsune said ‘I’m going out’”

Y: “Yeah, that’s because he is coming with me.”

K: “Why does Yoshitsune have to go out of his way to accompany you in your work?”

Y: “He is worried about me. You do know the missing cases in the mountains recently, right?”

K: “So that’s the case.”

(Speaking of......that god like thing, I hope Kurama, being an ayakashi might know something about this)

Y: “Hey Kurama, I wonder if these series of events is really because of some god.”

K: “........”

Kurama started to grin after a little thinking.

K: “It’s true, there is a terrifying monster with mighty power. A weak human like you won’t come back home once you’ve been kidnapped. It seems that the castle is their next target. When they get tired of their prey, they may come to Hiraizumi.”

(..........!)

Suddenly Kurama caught my chin and forced me to look at him closely.

K: “Are you afraid?”

When I heard it in a low voice, it seemed a little frightening, but....there was something like curiosity in Kurama’s eyes.

(......were you trying to scare me?)

Y: “I’ll ask you again, is the rumor about that god true?”

When I asked, Kurama squinted his red eyes unhappily and let go of my chin.

K: “.....boring woman. If you want to go, then go quickly.” (╯︵╰,)

Kurama stepped back as if he had lost interest and suddenly left.

(It seemed like he wanted to kill some time)

(But after all.....that god....)

I don’t know, but it’s certain that something is happening near Hiraizumi.

(Although Yoshitsune-sama is coming with me, I still have to be careful)

........

Yoshitsune and I rode our horse to the middle of the mountain where the herbs were growing.

YS: “Is it good around here?”

Y: “Yup!”

Yoshitsune stopped his horse and got down. He then extended his hand to me.

YS: “I’ll help you get down. Hold on.”

Y: “Thank you...”

I placed my hand on his shoulder and he gently held my body. When I was placed on the ground...

Y: “Thanks, I will be back soon.”

YS: “There’s no rush. Since I’m here........let me help.”

Y: “Really?will you?”

Yoshitsune takes the basket i had been holding.

YS: “Be vigilant of the people around you, even if you’re helping them. Can you tell me what to get?”

Y: “sure!”

(Yoshitsune-sama is very kind)

I squatted down in the grass with Yoshitsune and taught him the medicinal herbs that we are looking for and how to pick the leaves. Picking herbs like this together is fun.

YS: “is this different” (•ิ_•ิ)?

Y: “Aa.........it’s looks similar,but it’s a different kind of grass.”

Yoshitsune looked at the medicinal herbs I had and compared the leaves he had.

YS: “It’s a small difference, how can you tell?”

Y: “I’m used to it.” (*^‿^*)

When I turned to Yoshitsune while laughing, my eyes were closer than I expected.He stared at me and my cheeks became hot.

YS: “......Yuno?”

Y: “oh...no...nothing...”

(It’s not the time for that!)

(since Yoshitsune-sama was worried about me and came with me, let’s take it seriouly and finish it as soon as possible)

I started concentrating on my work.

........

After a while, the baskets were full of herbs and we returned to the place where our horse were tied.

Y: “Thanks a lot, I got a lot of herbs today.”

YS: “Good, then let’s go back.”

Y: “Yes”

I suddenly noticed a small white flower swaying in a nearby bush.

(that’s an unusual herb)

Y: “Yoshitsune-sama, I will pick some more. It will be over soon. Please get your horse ready.”

YS: “Okay.”

I approached the bush a few steps away and squatted down to pick white flowers. When I stood up, I heard a sound of something creeping up from the depths of the bush.

(eh.......is something in there?)

The words I heard from Kurama immediately flashed through my mind.

Flashback:

Flashback ends....

When I didn’t move, the bushes shook significantly.

Y: “.......!”

I was suddenly held by someone from behind as I fell back in surprise.

YS: “Don’t worry, it’s a fawn.”

Y: “Yoshitsune-sama....”

When I turned to see the bushes, I could see tiny eyes peeking at me from the back of the bush.

(I was surprised!)

YS: “Are you alright?”

Y: “I’m sorry, I was surprised.”

I took a deep breath and calmed my mind. Looking at me Yoshitsune opened his mouth quietly.

YS: “I sorry. It seemed I have scared you.” 人(_ _*)

Y: “hm?”

YS: “You had a stiff expression while you were picking the herbs. Is it because I scared you by telling that incident.” (｡╯︵╰｡)

Yoshitsune looked at me anxiously and I hurriedly shook my head.

Y: “NO, I was surprised to remember the missing case. But while I was picking up the herbs, the reason for my expression was different.”

YS: “Different?” ∑(O_O;)

(it’s embarrassing to say it.....)

When I was about to answer, something cold fell on my cheek.

YS: “......it’s raining”

When I looked up at the sky, the sound of rain intensified. Yoshitsune looked around and pointed at a large tree.

YS: “Let’s take shelter under that tree. Can you run?”

Y: “Yes.”

Yoshitsune speads his sleeve over my head like an umbrella and ran at my pace. We sat under the tree and I let a sigh of relief. When I looked at Yoshitsune’s sleeve it was getting wet.

Y: “Sorry about the kimono.....”

YS: “Don’t worry, I decided to protect you today.”

Droplets of rain spilled from Yoshitsune’s hair.

Y: “Are you protecting me from the rain?”

YS: “Everything that could harm you or bother you.”

(Yoshitsune is protecting not just my body...)

That feeling made my heart warm.

YS: “Anyway, what were you talking earlier about?”

(oh..........)

Y: “Well, my expression was stiff not because of the missing case.”

My face started getting hotter as I conveyed my feelings...

Y: “I enjoyed picking the herbs with you and I seemed to get a little excited. I told myself that I should work hard because you were taking you’re valuable time to guarding me.”

When I told him frankly, he suddenly hugged me. I found myself completely wrapped in Yoshitsune’s arms.

Y: “Yoshitsune-sama?”

YS: “It’s not good for me if you’re too adorable.” (⁄ ⁄•⁄ω⁄•⁄ ⁄)

He looked away when he held me.

YS: “I thought I shouldn’t interfere with your work.......Can we stay like this at least until the rain stops?”

(Oh Yoshitsune-sama....)

Hearing his simple question tightened my chest.

Y: “I want to stay like this for a while.......”

YS: “Okay” ヽ(*⌒▽⌒*)ﾉ

Yoshitsune smiled softly and wiped the raindrop on my cheek with his fingers.

YS: “Taking shelter from the rain with you like this, even the gloomy summer rain feels good..The feeling to love you is endless.”

Closed my eyes when his face approached me. Wrapped in a happy mood, the still heavy rain gradually receded.

Next day......

I was on my way to the patient’s house, which was a little far from the palace. An old lad with weak legs asked me to deliver the medicines.

(I was planning to inform Yoshitsune before I left....)

When I went in front of Yoshitsune’s room, I heard something serious going on inside. I didn’t want to disturb him so I asked his vassal to give him the message as soon as he comes out.

(I’ll be back by sunset. I’m sure it’ll be all right.)

.........

Old lady: “I’m sorry you had to come this far, Yuno-san. I’ve been in bed since this morning.”

Y: “That’s fine........feels like your fever has decreased. How are you feeling?”

Old lady: “I feel better now.”

Y: “That’s good. Just in case, please lie down for little longer.”

I told the old lady and set aside my utensils.

(I’m glad I bought them)

Although it was only intended to bring medicine prepared in advance, it seems to have helped. I packed my thing when I felt it was getting late.

Y: “I’ll leave the medicine here.”

old lady: “Thank you....and be careful on your way home.”

the old lady raised her head as if she remembered something.

old lady: “A kid in my neighborhood was crying while being taken to a mountain by a weird man during this time.”

Y: “eh.........?”

old lady: “the child seems to have been kidnapped. It’s dangerous.”

After leaving the old lady’s house, I was on my way home. While thinking what the old lady just said, I gradually increased my speed.

As I turned to the corner of the street...

Y: “.........!”

Suddenly someone from behind blocked my mouth and I smelled something sweet.

???: “Sorry, come with me....”

All I heard was a strange voice and my consciousness sank into darkness.

..........

I opened my eyes and found myself in a dim room.

Y: “.........where....?”

I managed to straighten up my body with my hands and feet that were tied and peeked out of the window.Apparently I was in the mountains, all could see the was the swaying trees.

(I got kidnapped...)

Judging from the sky, it seems long time have passed. The sweet scent still remains on me. I struggled to untie the rope but it was impossible.

(What should I do? ........Yoshitsune-sama must be worried)

As soon as he heard the rumors about that god, he was worried about me.

(I don’t know whether this is a work of ayakashi or not but I have to get out....)

I made up my mind and went for the door.

(It’s not easy....once again....)

Just as I was about to go, the door suddenly opened and several men came in.

Man 1: “I heard a noise, so I came to check.”

The man frowned when he looked at me.

(he’s human, right?)

I clenched my fists and opened my mouth nervously.

Y: “Why are you doing this.....”

Man 2: “For money of course. Our village has had a bad harvest this year.”

(’Our village’....so these guys are not from Hiraizumi)

Man 2: “If we sell woman and children like this, we can make lots of money.”

Y: “So that ‘god’ rumor that has been spreading, is it your doing?”

Man 3: “So what?”

Man 2: “We are leaving tomorrow morning. If you come with us quietly, I can assure your safety.”

(no....!)

Man 1: “I’ll tell you, don’t try to escape. There are guards outside.”

With this, the men went out of the hut. Th surroundings became quiet and anxiety and fear slowly touched my heart.

(I have to be strong. Don’t give up. See if there’s a way.)

While tried looking for something to cut the rope, the outside gradually becomes bright. When I closed my eyes to calm my anxiety, the time I spent with Yoshitsune runs through my mind.

flashback.....

Y: “Sorry about the kimono.....”

YS: “Don’t worry, I decided to protect you today.”

Y: “Are you protecting me from the rain?”

YS: “Everything that could harm you or bother you.”

flashback ends.....

Memories of his gentle expression faded my fear little.

(If he knew about me situation, he would surely come for my rescue.....if somehow, I could tell him about my whereabouts)

The moment I bit my lips in frustration, I hear a noise outside.

???: “Hey, What are you...AAH..!

(huh?)

After hearing a sound of something falling, the door was quickly opened.

YS: “Yuno, are you alright?”

I heard a voice filled with heavy emotion, and the amethyst eyes shot straight at me.

Premium END

Y: “Yoshitsune...! How did you......”

On the other side of the open door, a man who seemed to be on guard fainted and lay on the ground.

YS: “We’ll talk later. First let me get you to safety.”

Yoshitsune knelt down beside me and untied the rope.

Y: “Thank you”

YS: “Are you hurt?”

Y: “Nothing. I was just tied up here after I fainted.”

YS: “....I’m relieved to hear that.”

Yoshitsune was shining with relief from the bottom of his heart and hugged my body gently.

(........)

The moment I feel the warmth, I realize for the first time that I have been stiff.

YS: “Let’s go. Can you stand?”

Y: “Yes”

I took Yoshitsune’s hand and walked out of the hut.

YS: “I have a horse waiting for you.”

Yoshitsune shows me the tree where the horse is located.

YS: “Benkei should be nearby. Join him and go to the mansion first.”

Y: “What about you?”

YS: “.......I’m here for those guys who took you.” (this might be the most scariest line I’ve ever heard. I’m sure it’s going to be overkill!!) ((╬◣﹏◢))

Hearing his cold voice made my back shiver. When I was about to go towards the horse,

Man 1: “Let’s go”

One of the men who was hiding near the bushes, jumped out and blocked our path.

Man 1: “Just in time. Let’s sell that man as well.” (Bad idea guys! I suggest you run away....that guy you’re aiming for is stronger than Benkei!!)

Yoshitsune sees something like a short sword in the man’s hand and slowly pulls it out.

YS: “You saved me the trouble of looking. You should regret the crime of kidnapping Yuno, in the abyss”

Yoshitsune said that in a really low voice. The wind blew unnaturally from somewhere, fluttering purple hair.

(.....! no way...)

Y: “Yoshitsune-sama, please wait>”

The premonition of tragedy flashes in my eyes.

Y: “My kidnapping can be used a help....”

(I know there is no reason to forgive those who kidnap, but....)

Y: “I wasn’t hurt either. If we catch them we might be able to find the other people who had been kidnapped.”

I tried to stop Yoshitsune who was ready to kill his opponent mercilessly and tried to appeal to him somehow.

YS: “There’s a point in what you’re saying. I was little angry and almost lost myself.”

Man 1: “What are you talking?”

Yoshitsune, with his sword, takes away the man who attacks with fear. He returned the blade lightly and struck the hilt into the stomach of his opponent.

Before he could make a sound, he fainted and fell on the ground.

(wow....)

Just as we stared at him, a roar came from behind.

Man 2: “I won’t let you escape woman!”

The kidnapper, who seems to have heard the uproar, rushed out of the nearby bushes and brandished a knife at me.

(when did you get so close......!)

The moment I closed my eyes....

Y: “.......!”

Yoshitsune-sama’s arm extended from the side and held my body tightly. I then heard a sound of blades clashing.

Man 2 : “AAh....shit......!”

Yoshitsune flicked the short sword held by the man and knocked him unconscious. After a moment of relief, more men started coming from behind.

Man 3 : “There he is! Over there!”

(there’s more..!)

YS: “Yuno, stay by my side.”

Yoshitsune stepped forward as if he were protecting me.

Y: “I sorry, I got in your way.”

(I also said not to kill them too)

YS: “I don’t find it troublesome to fight while protecting you. On the contrary, I feel like I’m much stronger than usual when you’re by my side.”

Y: “Yoshitsune-sama....”

YS: “I’ll finish this quickly. Benkei and his team will be here soon. Can you hold on until then?”

Y: “Of course. There is nothing to be afraid of if you’re by my side.”

Although I felt frustrated that I can’t do anything while I was kidnapped, but the anxiety I had when I was alone in the hut is gone now.

YS: “I’m happier to hear that when you say it.” (´,,•ω•,,)♡

Yoshitsune smiled and turned his sword at the men who were approaching him. It did not take long for the kidnappers to be caught by Benkei and others.

After we caught the kidnappers, when I arrived at the mansion, Yoshitsune took me to his room.

(I’m glad I was able to come back to my house like this.....all thanks to Yoshitsune)

A sense of relief gradually spread in my heart.

Y: “Yoshitsune-sama, thank you so much for today.”

Before I could say anything more, Yoshitsune embraced me.

YS: “I’m glad that you’re all right.”

My chest tighten at his urgent voice.

YS: “I’m sorry I couldn’t protect you before you got kidnapped.”

Y: “No,no...! It wasn’t your fault.”

I shook my head hurriedly.

Y: “I should have been more careful.”

(I don’t know what would have happened if Yoshitsune hadn’t come to save me)

The thought itself sent shivers down my spine.

Y: “How did you know I was there?”

YS: “Just as you went out, I received a report about the identity of the god. It seemed that the kidnappers moved their base to Hiraizumi.”

(Maybe.....)

(This might have been the serious issue that they were discussing while I stood in front of Yoshitsune’s room)

YS: “You’re not hurt but it must have been terrible.”

After saying that he was worried, Yoshitsune gently touched my cheek.

Y: “It would be a lie if I say that I wasn’t afraid....But I was sure that you would come to my rescue as soon as you knew where I was.”

I remember that the moment I thought about Yoshitsune in the hut, and my mind suddenly calmed down.

Y: “It’s incredible to think that Yoshitsune is protecting me even when he’s far away.

I smiled shyly and suddenly Yoshitsune’s face came closer.

Y: “Mm........”

After the soft touch left, I realized that I had been kissed.

YS: “I want to lock you up like this, so that no one can touch you but me. That way, I can protect you from any danger.”

Y: “Yoshitsune-sama...”

I gazed back at Yoshitsune’s transparent eyes.

(I’m sure he’s serious)

(After falling in love, Yoshitsune began to show his gentle and calm face)

(However, he still has that same fierce face like a sharpened blade. This can be seen when he really was going to kill those kidnappers)

YS: “......But it’s a dream.” ヽ(*⌒▽⌒*)ﾉ

Yoshitsune gave me a troubled smile and wrapped my cheeks.

YS: “I can’t take away your freedom. How painful it is to care for someone in particular.”

With a gentle approach as if I were a fragile object, made my heart ache.

(..........he’s so kind and loving person)

I love even the innocent danger. I hugged him back.

YS: “.......Yuno?” Σ(O_O)

Y: “I really sorry to have you worried for me and.....I’m happy that you think of me like.”

(how can I return the same feelings to this person)

Even if I use words to express it, even if I hold you like this, its still not enough.

YS: “......I’m in trouble.”

I felt like I heard a troubled voice and suddenly he gently scooped my chin.

YS: “It seems like you have decided to endure it. I will love you as much as I want.”

Y: “Mn......”

At the same time he kissed and I sighed softly. The kiss gradually deepens and I melt in his warmth.

(I love you too)

With my lips closed, I wanted to say what I couldn’t. I gently put strength into arms which held Yoshitsune.

😘😘😘😘😘😘😘😘😘😘😘😘😘😘😘😘

Benkei route

Tamamo route

😘😘😘😘😘😘😘😘😘😘😘😘😘😘😘😘

#ikemen series #ikemen genjiden #ikemen genjiden yoshitsune #ikemen series story event #ikemen series spoilers

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tydy-the-megnet · 5 years ago

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Let's Watch Captain Marvel

Alrighty. It's definitely late, but I finally got the DVD. So, I'm watching Captain Marvel.

I've decided to make this post about it, which I will write as I go, because I've seen a lot of discussion about the movie without actually hearing about what happens in it... so uh... yeah. Here are my thoughts as I think them:

Brie Larson looks good with long hair. Also, is Carol bleeding blue...? I want to know what that's about and if it's important

Movie is said to take place in the 90s. Space still already has flying cars. I guess Star Wars wasn't not accurate

Listen Sensei dude, if there is one thing I've learned from anime, emotions only make you stronger.

"You gave me these" *shakes fists* is that literal? Like did Mr Sensei really give her fists or is that referring to her powers...? I know nothing of Captain Marvel

He's talking about controlling impulses again. He clearly hasn't seen any anime

The Skrull are the shapeshifters yeah?

... amnesia...?

Now the supreme intelligence (god ai???) Is also talking about controlling her emotions. I still don't buy it.

Mission time. Digging the banter

"I laugh on the inside. I'm not doing that now."

Hm, not sure how I feel about the helmet thing

Hard light scuba gear? That's cool

I'm digging the kinda star wars vibe

Captain listen to your CO but also dont listen to him at all

Yeah the skrull are the shapeshifters everything makes sense now

Wait is her name Veers? Or is that what she's called just because she doesn't remember who she is?

AIR FORCE YEAH

GO KARTS YEAH

GO KART NO

More of this "too emotional" stuff?

Goose!

Digging the whole mental probe thing.

*Tries percussive maintain on a person*

"I dont know any Dr Larson"

So that had me confused bc I was like "Wasnt her name Danvers?" But Larson is the actress and I guess that's just a character????

Do I have the two backwards?

Skrull: *snarls*

Captain: *snarls back*

I like her

She fights like an anime character while everyone else is an 80s sci-fi movie

Get the boots!!!

And touchdown! Planet C-53! Locally known as Earth!

I guess Captain Marvel could be called a blockbuster hit in-universe and out huh?

I'm hilarious

Honey in basically in the space-boonies now you got no service here lol

This poor confused security guard lol

She called across the galaxy on a pay phone...? Yeah okay cool cool

"[C-53]'s a real shithole" yeah give it 30 years or so it gets worse

Okay why do people not like Captain Marvel?

She's like a mix of Tony, Thor, and Steve

Is that... Coulson? Young Coulson!?

YOUNG FURY!

I don't think that was young Coulson after all...

Or is it?

Idek

TRAIN FIGHT

Why are these bystanders trying to stop Veers(?) from fighting this obviously not normal old lady?

What kinda old lady can flip like that?

TRAIN FIGHT 2, ELECTRIC BOOGALOO

oh it was Young Coulson!

Poor Coulson

Damn, Nick

*uses AltaVista*

So it's later 90s. Got it.

Lmao dial-up

I guess they're in california?

Lmao dial-up

Ah so this is the motorcycle scene I've heard about. Apparently they cut the part where she nearly breaks the guy's fingers? Disappointing.

The skrull aren't carbon-based life forms that's so cool!

Not on the periodic table...? Let's see, in the 90s... I guess stuff like rutherfordium and onward wouldn't be on there. Uh, maybe technetium? There might be a couple others but for the most part chemistry was advanced enough.

Unless it's something beyond like 118. Which is weird to think about but whatever I should stop thinking about it

Except elements like that would have to be in group 14 yeah?

Biology isnt exactly my forte but

Okay perhaps it's what we now know as flerovium?

The elements in the carbon group should react similarly enough to be the foundation of an entire life form

That's why silicon is used for synthetic stuff a lot right?

And tin

I'm getting off track the movie has been paused for a few minutes now

I'm just going to assume they are flerovium-based life forms

Oh shit they're in SHIELD

So Pegasus is a flight team, or an AF division, or....?

"I don't know if this guy is really human. I'd better ask a bunch of questions to which I don't know the answer."

A skrull could be saying random words and it would totally work

"If toast is cut diagonally I can't easy it."

Why the heck not??????

"That was a photon blast" is that what that is? Awesome

I want Peter to meet her. I think he'd have a new contender for favorite

"A skrull can't do that. " how is he supposed to know that?

Young and slightly less suspicious Fury??

"Noble warrior heroes"

J O S E P H

NASA and USAF. Sweet.

"State-of-the-art two-way pager"

Ah the old tape-and-fingerprint trick. Haven't seen that since the 90s--oh

GOOSE

Fury meeting Goose is the purest scene in marvel

"you sat there and watched me play with tape?" Lmao

"Shes kookoo" "Kree glyphs" ":O"

Veers was the pilot

I still don't know her sensei's name

"Excellent work, Nicholas" ":O"

LARSON WAS MAR-VELL!??!!!?!

(I know who Mar-Vell is!)

Okay okay okay

More of this "dont emotion" garbage. Listen Veers, DON'T listen

FURY FIGHT SCENE

COULSON NO

COULSON YES

"You know how to fly this thing?" "Uh" "it's a yes or no question"

GOOSE

They're going to LA

(Louisiana not Los Angeles)

Cool

Why do people not like this this is great!

She's got the worst part of Thor, but the best part of Tony and Steve!

RONIN!?!??!??!?!!?!??!?!?!??!??!:0!?!?!

AUNTIE CAROL?!?!?

(So it IS Carol Danvers. Which means Larson isn't her mother. Which makes since because she's actually Mar-Vell. Who's... well, not the mother.)

The Good Lady Ms. Captain Carol Marvel "I-Can-Boil-Tea-With-My-Bare-Hands-Which-Shoot-Lasers-Too" Danvers Ma'am

"You're jacket. Mom doesn't let me wear it anymore after I spilled ketchup on it."

I dont know this kid's name but I really really like her.

"Call me young lady again and I'll put my foot in a place it's not supposed to be."

... that one is more clever with context but whatever

"Am I supposed to guess where that is?" "Your ass"

Monika. That's the kid's name. She's great.

Ah, more ancient relics they call "tech" lol

FLY TIME

Do a barrel roll

She did a barrel roll!

"Your blood is uhhh blue" "yeah but how's my hair"

Ah, "Vers" bc they assumed that was her name. Interesting.

Also I want to get super power by blowing something up that's way cooler than being bitten by a stupid spider

Is she human? Is she not? I've no clue

The skrull are the good guys. Things are starting to make sense again.

... maybe I should've pushed to watch this before far from home.

... huh.

... is she human?

Okay so I'm still a little confused but I think I got it.

Though I won't say I dont want something else to blow up

"Those aren't coordinates they're orbital vectors." "It's basic physics." "Couldnt you figure that out? You're my science guy."

"I just think you should consider what kind of example you're setting for your daughter." That's it. That's the best line in the whole movie. Time to go.

Her suit can change colors on a whim!?!

That's awesome

I DIG THE NEW LOOK

I mean I saw it in Endgame but

"How do I look?" "Fresh" lmao 90s

RONIN NO

GOOSE YES

"What's a cat?" xD

"Why would I turn into a filing cabinet?"

Space lab. Cool.

Is that the tesseract??

THAT'S THE TESSERACT

She can pick it up!!

Does that mean she could've wielded the Infinity Gauntlet??????

Pinball lmao

968700!?!???!??!!?!!??!?!???!??!?!??!?!?!?

HOLY FLERKEN SHIP

GOOSE

YES CAROL

GET EMOTIONED

KICK HIS BUTT

GOOSE NOOOO

Those bastards

"Only human" HEY I RESENT THAT

THE FACT THAT YOUR HUMAN FILLS YOU WITH DETERMINATION

GOOD LADY MISS CAPTAIN CAROL MARVEL DANVERS MISS AWESOME MA'AM SENPAI SAMA

SHE'S A SUPER SAIYAN

PURE OF HEART AND AWAKENED BY FURY

(I'm still hilarious)

GOOSE DID THE THING

This is awesome why dont more people love it???

"Good kitty"

This very quickly went from Star Wars to Dragon Ball and I am loving it

She really is an anime character

Did she? Is that? Nerf gun?

Okay Carol isnt that much god mode there was just a nerd gun on the floor okay cool yeah sure

"Just like Havana" TALOS YOU BEAUTIFUL--

Remember how captain america jumped to the outside of a plane and fought through it? Yeah CM just did that in SPACE take that Steve

Still dont know how I feel about the helmet thing though

JUST LIKE BEGGAR'S CANYON BACK HOME

RONIN

Yeah, those are explosions

Ronin: O_O

Ronin: .... yeah bye

"I have nothing to prove to you."

HECK YEAH. GO CAROL. LASER HIS BUTT.

Fury lost his eye! GOOSE HE TRUSTED YOU

*thinks back to that moment in Winter Soldier*

"You were Solar and the SHIELD agent?" Omg Carol yes keep up

Fury SINGS?!?!

So like, are her powers just straight up energy manipulation? Because that's pretty cool. Really versatile, too

The way she started the engine makes it seem so

And then she just,,,,,, flies away. Into the night. Like stardust in the wind.

Dig the jacket, though

"The Protector Initiative"

It begins......

"Is it true? The Kree burned your eye out because you refused to give them the tesseract?" "I will neither confirm nor deny the facts of that story"

Lmao Fury

"CAPT CAROL "AVENGER" DANVERS"

"The Avenger Initiative"

It didnt actually show it but we know

Also, dig the music

Aaand now we see, 20ish years later, the snappening

"I wanna know who's on the other end of that thing"

First of all I love that they dont call it a pager because it's 2018 wtf is a pager amirite?

Second, I love how Carol is just there. Great reveal. 1007391861604016/10

"Where's Fury?" D:

Better question, where is Goose???

*one roll of credits later*

Oh! :D

Lmao the tesseract

God this movie is amazing

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pikapeppa · 6 years ago

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Fenris/f!Hawke and the Inquistion: Spirits

Chapter 10 of Lovers In A Dangerous Time (i.e. Fenris the Inquisitor) is up on AO3!

In which FenRynne and the crew meet Bull and the Chargers, and there is some drama and arguing. O_o

Read here on AO3.

********************

Hawke sighed and irritably shook her left foot. “I think there’s a hole in my boot. My foot is soaked.”

“Both of my feet are soaked,” Fenris remarked.

Hawke pouted. “Your feet are bare. They’ll dry in two seconds. It’s not the same.”

He shrugged and continued his easy stroll across the lush verdant hills of the Storm Coast. “Nobody forced you to wear boots.”

Hawke scoffed and playfully pushed his arm. “We don’t all have hardened dragon’s hide for soles like you do. Chances are I would cut my feet open the second I took my boots off.”

On Hawke’s other side, Blackwall winced and briefly bowed his head. “I apologize, my lady.”

Hawke rolled her eyes good-naturedly. “Blackwall, please, just call me Hawke. And what are you sorry for?”

“For dragging you out on this chase for Warden artifacts,” he said. “I spent some time here a few years ago. I’d forgotten just how, er, wet it was.” He squinted up at the sky, which had been steel-grey and spilling rain since they’d arrived yesterday afternoon.

Hawke waved him off. “Don’t be silly, it’s not your fault. Leliana wanted us to look for signs of the Wardens too, remember? Besides, I should have bought better boots before coming out to a place called the Storm Coast. Bit of a tip-off with the name, don’t you think?” She nudged Varric’s head with her elbow. “Almost too on the nose, if you ask me. Whoever was in charge of naming this place clearly had no imagination.”

Varric smirked up at her. “You really should have worn better boots. I mean, even I’m wearing waterproof boots, and you know how much I love this nature shit.”

“He makes a good point,” Fenris said to Hawke. “If the hopeless city dwarf is properly prepared for the elements, why aren’t you?”

Varric snorted at Fenris’s colourful epithet. Hawke, meanwhile, shrugged and innocently blinked at Fenris. “Honestly? I was hoping you would carry me in your big strong warrior’s arms if my feet got wet.”

Fenris gave her a chiding look, then scoffed. “You do not need to be carried. You are not a housecat.”

Her lips lifted into a slow and salacious smile, and Fenris wilted in exasperation. He could practically see the quip gathering itself in her mind: some foolish joke about him making her purr, he was certain.

“Don’t,” he warned.

She laughed. “I didn’t say anything!”

He bit the inside of his cheek and forced his face to remain stern. “I know what you were thinking,” he said. “Do not say it.”

She grinned and pinched his chin playfully. “You know what? I’m glad I don’t have to. You just know me so well.”

He shook his head in exasperation. Then Solas’s voice floated over from about ten paces away.

“Blackwall,” he said. “I believe this may be the camp you sought.”

Blackwall perked up, and they all followed him over to Solas’s side. Blackwall crouched beside the remains of the campfire, then dug around in the ashes for a moment before pulling out a dented metal crest.

He excitedly looked up at the rest of them. “It’s a Warden’s crest,” he said. Then his smile faded slightly as he turned it in his fingers. “We wear these on our coats, usually. This one must have been ripped off in a fight.”

“Oh, look here,” Hawke piped up. She was inspecting a few sodden pages of parchment, and as Blackwall rose to face her, she held them out to him.

He took the pages, and his face lit up as he skimmed them. “Pages from a Warden’s journal,” he exclaimed. He beamed at Hawke. “An excellent find, my lady.”

Hawke folded her arms and smiled. “That’s what I’m known for: scavenging odd bits and pieces to cheer people up.”

Varric snorted. “That’s one thing you’re known for, at least.”

“Oh come on, Varric, that’s probably my favourite claim to fame,” she said. She raised her eyes wistfully to the stormy sky. “Rynne Hawke, Kirkwall’s finest retriever of lost and stolen junk. Truly, I would have preferred that over the title of Champion.”

“Retriever of Junk,” Fenris mused. “A rather undignified title, but it would have saved you some grief, I’m certain.”

She smiled and winked at him. Blackwall sat on a fallen log to read the journal pages, and as Varric moved away to read the pages as well, Fenris surreptitiously smoothed his hand down Hawke’s back.

The mages at Redcliffe were making their careful journey back to Haven, accompanied by Cassandra and Dorian and a contingent of Inquisition soldiers. Fenris and Hawke had thus decided to come to the Storm Coast to follow up on that invitation from Cremisius Aclassi, and the rest of their companions had volunteered to come along - though Sera had promptly abandoned them in favour of Scout Harding as soon as they’d arrived.

The journey from the Hinterlands to the Storm Coast had been relatively uneventful. This was not to say they hadn’t encountered foes; it seemed that no journey could be completely free of violence in these danger-laden days. But the enemies they’d encountered had been relatively normal ones: bandits, a few power-mad apostates, and only three small non-time-bending rifts. By the time they’d reached Harding’s first outpost on the Storm Coast, Fenris was almost feeling back to his normal self in the wake of the entire time-travelling debacle in Redcliffe.

Almost.

The constant travel was helpful. It was a good distraction from the memories of Hawke’s glittering red eyes, which still lingered at the back of his unoccupied mind. Sleeping in a different place each night was also helpful, as it warded off the nightmares that sometimes plagued him still, even after leaving Danarius’s side. Sleeping in the same place for multiple nights in a row had always been something of a trigger for Fenris’s bad dreams, at least until he became more settled and comfortable.

For this latter reason alone, Fenris was somewhat dreading the return to Haven. He was certain that the first few nights back in Haven would be heralded by a new set of red lyrium-related nightmares, and he was not looking forward to that.

He ran his palm along Hawke’s back once more, taking comfort from the smooth curve of her shoulder blade beneath her lambswool cloak. Then she leaned in close and spoke in a quiet voice.

“He’s kind of an odd Warden, don’t you think?” she murmured. Her thoughtful gaze was on Blackwall, who was listening seriously to Varric’s tale about their trip into the Deep Roads ten years ago.

Fenris scratched his chin. “How so? He has the same world-saving mentality as Stroud.”

“Yes, but he seems more… optimistic about it, don’t you think?” Hawke said. “Stroud is always so grim and serious. And it’s a bit weird that he’s so dewy-eyed over these Warden artifacts,” she added. “They’re his own order. He’s been one of them for years. You’d think he’d be over the hero worship by now. And seriously, why is he the only Warden who hasn’t disappeared? It’s strange, don’t you think?”

Fenris narrowed his eyes. She made some very good points. “You think he is lying about his true role with the Wardens?” he whispered. “That he has some hidden purpose?”

Hawke shrugged. Her gaze was more curious than suspicious as she studied their burly companion. “I think he’s more committed to the Inquisition than he is to the Wardens. Good for us, but not great for them. If they know about him, that is.”

Fenris raised an eyebrow. “You do think he is lying, then.”

Hawke shook her head slowly. “Not lying, necessarily. But I think he has a story. He’s more than he seems.” She gave Fenris a mischievous smile. “That’s why his beard is so big. It’s full of secrets.”

Fenris snorted in amusement. Then Solas drew his attention. “Fenris,” he called.

Fenris looked up, then approached the small hill where Solas was standing. He was gazing off toward the coastline, and Fenris’s eyes widened as he caught sight of what Solas had seen: a skirmish of sorts with at least twenty men. Most notable of all in the fight was a tall, horned, and unmistakable figure.

“What is it?” Hawke asked. She squinted toward the coastline, then raised her eyebrows. “Ooh. Is that..?”

“It must be the Iron Bull,” Fenris said. “The qunari mercenary captain we’re searching for.”

“Interesting,” Hawke said. She smiled at Fenris and Solas. “Let’s go introduce ourselves, shall we?”

The two men nodded, and with Varric and Blackwall in tow, they made their way toward the coastline in the direction of the fight. As they splashed their way through the river toward the coast, Fenris wondered about the qunari they were about to meet.

The whole situation still struck him as odd. Not just the Tevinter second-in-command and the common-tongue nickname, but the idea of a qunari running a mercenary company at all. From Fenris’s understanding of the Qun, it was not the qunari way to exploit their considerable martial skills for monetary gain. Even the tal-vashoth they had once met on the Wounded Coast had scorned the idea of selling his skills for money. So how was it that a true member of the Qun was the leader of a mercenary band?

I suppose we will soon find out, he thought. They were about fifty paces away from the skirmish now, and before they could get any closer, Fenris held up a hand to stop the group.

“Let’s watch for a while longer,” he suggested.

Hawke’s eyebrows rose. “They’re fighting a bunch of those Venatori. You don’t want to join in and help to tear them apart?”

Fenris raised a sardonic eyebrow at her. “I absolutely will if necessary,” he said. “But that Aclassi fellow invited us to come and see what these Chargers are worth. I suggest we take him up on the offer.”

Hawke shrugged easily. “All right,” she said. She jerked her head to a nearby hill. “Shall we find some comfy seats from a higher vantage point? Some nice moss-covered boulders, perhaps?”

Varric huffed softly as they clambered up the hill. “Hardly my idea of a comfy seat, but sure.”

Blackwall chuckled. “The city dwarf needs more padding, eh?”

Hawke snickered, and Varric shot them a smirk. “You guys call me ‘city dwarf’ like it’s an insult, but I’ll have you know-”

A deep, roaring belly laugh rumbled through the constant hiss of the rain, and they all stopped short in surprise.

Hawke looked at Fenris with wide eyes. “Was that… a qunari laughing?”

“Yes, it was,” he confirmed. He adjusted the hood of his cloak and peered down toward the coastline; indeed, the qunari commander was grinning widely as he swung his battleaxe in a wide and sweeping arc.

“I didn’t think qunari even knew how to laugh,” Varric remarked.

Hawke nodded in agreement. “I’ve certainly never seen it.”

Varric smirked. “Well, I mean, you were a little too busy freezing their Arishok and pulling his guts out to notice if they laughed or not.”

Hawke rolled her eyes. “Maker’s balls, Varric. You always make it sound like it was such an epic fight, when we all know I almost-”

“Hawke,” Fenris interrupted. “Please don’t.” He did not need another reminder of a time that she’d almost died.

She broke off and grimaced apologetically, then folded her arms. “Did you ever hear the qunari laughing when you were observing them in Seheron?” she asked him.

Fenris tilted his head equivocally as he continued to watch the shoreline fight. “On rare occasions,” he said. “But qunari rarely drop their guard around foreigners. Certainly not enough to laugh with such abandon.”

Hawke hummed in acknowledgement, and they watched the rest of the fight in silence. By the time the final Venatori mage was downed, Fenris was convinced of the Chargers’s value.

The members of the mercenary company clearly knew each other well. There were about a dozen of them on the field, and from the seamless way they moved around each other, it was clear to Fenris’s battle-savvy eye that they were either deeply familiar with each other’s strengths and vulnerabilities, or that the Iron Bull was an outstanding commander who was able to place his people to their best advantage. In all likelihood, it was a combination of both.

Blackwall seemed to agree; he folded his arms and nodded in approval. “Mercenaries they might be, but they can certainly fight.”

“Yes,” Solas said thoughtfully. “And with only one mage among them. It takes considerable creativity to function so well in battle with so little magical contribution.”

Fenris nodded slowly. He might not be pleased to admit it, but Solas had a good point; the years he’d spent with Hawke had made him see the value of a strong barrier and a well-aimed blast of fire or ice, not to mention the not-inconsiderable boon of a healer mage’s restorative abilities.

“Creativity… yes, that is accurate,” he said slowly. He jerked his chin toward the shoreline. “Let’s go speak to them.”

They made their way down the slope toward the blood- and body-strewn beach. The Iron Bull was seated on a nearby boulder wiping his blade with a cloth, and as Fenris and the others made their approach, he called out to his second-in-command in a booming voice. “Krem! How’d we do?”

His accent was only faintly tinted with Qunlat. Another surprise, since most qunari either did not speak the common tongue at all, or with a heavy accent.

“Four wounded, Chief,” Aclassi replied. “None dead.”

“That’s what I like to hear,” The Iron Bull announced. He slid his enormous axe onto his back. “Let the throat-cutters finish up here, then break out the casks.”

Aclassi gave a brisk salute, then trotted off to speak to some of his comrades. Then the Iron Bull turned his head toward Fenris and his companions.

He grinned as he spotted them with his one good eye, and Fenris felt another jolt of surprise at the friendly expression.

“So,” the Iron Bull said. “You’re with the Inquisition, huh? Glad you could make it.” He ushered them over. “Come on, have a seat. Drinks are coming.”

Fenris was nonplussed. This kind of geniality was not at all what he’d been expecting.

He nodded cautiously to the Iron Bull. “Shanedan. Ebasaam esaam kost.”

The Iron Bull looked at him sharply, then threw his head back and laughed. He waved his hand dismissively. “Ah, no need for that, we’re all friends here. Come on, sit your asses down.” He gestured more insistently for them to take a seat.

Fenris cautiously sat on a rock beside the Iron Bull, and Varric and Blackwall sat on some boulders as well. Hawke, on the other hand, smoothed her cloak down under her bottom and plopped down directly on the rocky beach. “Drinks are coming, you said?” She smiled up at Fenris. “I like him already.”

The Iron Bull grinned widely at her, and Fenris sighed quietly. He gestured to the nearest dead Tevinter. “This was impressive,” he said. “Your group works together well.”

“That we do,” the Iron Bull said proudly. “We’re expensive, but worth it. And you’re not just getting the boys: you’re getting me.” He rose to his feet to tower over them all and placed his hands on his thick, muscular waist. “You need a front-line bodyguard, I’m your man. Whatever it is - demons, dragons… the bigger, the better.”

“You’re in luck, then,” Blackwall said. “There’s a dragon on the shoreline to the east, just that way.” He pointed along the coast.

“It was fighting a giant,” Varric added. “Pretty crazy stuff.”

The Iron Bull’s eyes lit up. “You’re joking. That’s bad-ass!”

Hawke stared at him in surprise, then laughed. “I suppose it rather was, yes,” she said, then looked at Fenris with a smirk and raised eyebrows.

He shook his head slightly, feeling more and more perplexed by this Iron Bull. He was nothing like the qunari Fenris had met in Seheron or in Kirkwall.

He scratched the back of his head, then shrugged and rested his elbows on his knees. “I should ask how much your company will cost the Inquisition,” he said. Josephine had said the Inquisition had some gold from the late Justinia, as well as contributions from the few nobles whose support was trickling in, but it wouldn’t do to spend it all on one mercenary company.

“Ah, don’t worry about it,” the qunari captain said. “Your ambassador - what’s-her-name, Josephine? We’ll go through her, get the payment set up. Gold will take care of itself; don’t worry about that. All that matters is we’re worth it.”

Then his jovial expression sobered slightly. “Before you sign us on...” He trailed off, then beckoned for Fenris to follow him.

Fenris raised an eyebrow, but rose to his feet. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Hawke starting to rise as well.

He glanced at her and surreptitiously held up a reassuring hand. She frowned but settled back on the beach with Blackwall, Varric and Solas, and Fenris followed the Iron Bull a short ways away from the others.

When they were out of the humans’ earshot, the Iron Bull folded his arms. “There’s one other thing,” he said. “Might be useful, might piss you off. Ever hear of the Ben-Hassrath?”

Fenris raised his eyebrows. “Yes. They are the branch of the qunari that handles security and intelligence, are they not?”

The Iron Bull gave Fenris an appraising look. “You do know a thing or two about us, don’t you? But yeah, you’re right. The Ben-Hassrath handle everything: information, loyalty, security, all of it. They’re spies, basically. Or, well… we’re spies.”

Fenris narrowed his eyes, and the Iron Bull nodded his head in acknowledgement before going on. “The Ben-Hassrath are concerned about the Breach. Magic out of control like that could cause trouble everywhere,” he said. “I’ve been ordered to join the Inquisition, get close to the people in charge, and send reports on what’s happening. But I also get reports from Ben-Hassrath agents all over Orlais. You sign me on, I’ll share them with your people.”

Fenris stared flatly at him. “Would your superiors approve of you admitting this?” he drawled. “It appears counterintuitive for a spy to admit that they are, in fact, a spy.”

The Iron Bull casually hitched his thumbs into his belt. “Look, I’m a bottom-line kind of guy. Whatever happened at that Conclave thing, it’s bad. Someone needs to get that Breach closed, and I’ve heard that you’re the people to get it done. So whatever I am, I’m on your side.”

“For now,” Fenris retorted. “Until you receive directives to the contrary from Par Vollen.”

“You sign me on with the Inquisition, and I’ll make sure those directives don’t happen,” the Iron Bull reasoned. He tilted his horned head. “My people back home want to know if they need to launch an invasion to stop the whole damned world from falling apart. You let me send word of what you’re doing, it’ll put some minds at ease. That’s good for everyone.”

Fenris folded his arms and lifted his chin. “And what exactly are you offering in return?”

“Aside from myself and my guys, you mean?” He shrugged and waved a careless hand. “Enemy movements, suspicious activity, intriguing gossip… it’s a bit of everything. Alone, they’re not much, but if your spymaster is worth a damn, she’ll put ‘em to good use.”

Fenris narrowed his eyes. “And what makes you think our spymaster is a woman?”

The qunari shrugged. “I did a little research. Plus,” he smirked, “I’ve always had a weakness for redheads.”

Fenris frowned, then glanced toward the others. Solas was openly watching them with a frown on his face, and Fenris had no doubt that the elven mage’s keen hearing was picking up everything they were saying. Varric and Blackwall were chatting casually while Hawke listened with a smile, but Fenris could see the slightly worried crease of her eyebrows.

He turned back to the Iron Bull. “I will speak with my companions,” he said. Then he walked back to join the others.

He crouched beside Hawke, who immediately turned toward him. “What’s going on?” she asked.

“He is a qunari spy,” Solas said quietly. He was still staring daggers at the Iron Bull.

Hawke’s eyebrows shot up, and Varric winced. “Oh. Shit. The Seeker won’t be happy about that.”

Fenris looked at them all in turn. “He is offering qunari intelligence in exchange for the reports he will send back to Par Vollen,” he said.

Varric rubbed his chin briefly. “I guess that’s something. Nightingale could make use of that. Maybe he’ll hand over something that could help us track down ol’ Corypheus.”

“But is that worth the risk?” Fenris muttered. “He admitted that the qunari’s main goal is to close the Breach. Once it’s sealed, he could turn on us at any moment.”

“What if we make friends with him?” Hawke suggested. “Make it hard for him to betray us? We made friends with Tallis, after all, and she didn’t abandon us.” Her tone was light, but Fenris could see the worry in the tilt of her eyebrows.

It was on the tip of his tongue to remind Hawke that Tallis had lied about her qunari identity in the first place, but Solas spoke before he had the chance. “That will not work,” Solas said firmly. “The Ben-Hassrath are the most insidious agents of the Qun. They are tasked with policing the thoughts of their own people as well as those they conquer. It will not be possible to manipulate him in that way.”

Hawke clicked her tongue in disappointment. “Well, there goes my favourite strategy.” She looked at the others. “So… is that a no, then?”

Blackwall sighed. “A shame, that. They’re strong fighters. Would have been helpful in any number of battles.”

Fenris, meanwhile, was watching Solas. He didn’t think he had ever seen Solas look so disapproving before. “You think we should not bring him in?” Fenris asked.

“On the contrary,” Solas said. He finally shifted his steel-grey gaze to Fenris’s face. “If you allow him to join the Inquisition, Leliana’s spies can monitor him. There are times when careful observation can be more telling than spoken words. Knowledge is power, is it not?”

Fenris narrowed his eyes briefly. He seemed to be hearing this a lot lately. Not that he disagreed with the idea by any means, but still.

He ran a hand over his hood, then glanced at the Iron Bull. He was smiling and talking to Aclassi, who was grinning back. To Fenris’s eyes, they looked very much like friends.

A qunari making friends with a Tevinter human and running a band of non-qunari mercenaries… It could certainly all be based orders from Par Vollen, but the Iron Bull’s manner still struck him as extremely odd for a faithful member of the Qun.

He rose to his feet. “Thank you,” he said to the others, then he returned to the Iron Bull’s side.

“So?” the qunari captain said. “Are we celebrating, or are we moving on?”

Fenris folded his arms. “You are hired, on one condition. You will run your reports past the spymaster before you send them out. If she disapproves, they do not get sent.”

The Iron Bull smiled. “Wouldn’t have it any other way.”

Fenris nodded. Then he took a slow step closer to the Iron Bull and switched to Qunlat. “Your duty is to your people. My duty is to mine,” he said quietly. “The woman and the dwarf are under my protection. If anything you do brings harm to them, I will rip your beating heart from your chest.”

The Iron Bull stared at him for a moment. Then a slow, broad grin bloomed across his rugged face.

He let out a rolling belly laugh, then slapped Fenris on the shoulder. “You know what? I believe it.” He grinned at Aclassi. “Krem! Tell the men to finish drinking on the road. The Chargers just got hired.”

Aclassi wilted slightly. “What about the casks, Chief? We just opened them up. With axes.”

The Iron Bull shrugged and tucked his thumbs into his belt once more. “Find some way to seal ‘em up! You’re Tevinter, right? Try blood magic.”

Fenris raised one eyebrow at the distasteful joke. Then the qunari captain turned back to face him. “We’ll have drinks sometime, you and I. I want to know how a bas like you knows our language. Your accent’s pretty bad, but your grammar is surprisingly good.”

Fenris scowled briefly; Tallis had criticized his accent too.

He lifted his chin and looked the Iron Bull directly in the eye. The qunari wasn’t going to like what Fenris was about to tell him. “I spent some time in Seheron. I fought alongside the fog warriors.”

The Iron Bull froze for an instant. It was just a brief instant, the span of a second and the blink of an eye, but Fenris saw it.

Then the qunari warrior shifted his weight and nodded as though he was impressed. “You don’t say?” he said. “Well. We definitely should catch a drink together sometime.” He turned away and waved one gigantic hand in farewell. “We’ll meet you back at Haven,” he said, then sauntered away to rejoin his men.

Fenris huffed very quietly. Then he turned away and made his way back to Hawke and the others.

“Come on, don’t keep us in suspense,” Hawke said. “What did you decide?”

Fenris sat beside her. “His company has joined the Inquisition. His reports will go past Leliana first.”

Solas and Varric nodded in approval. “A good compromise,” Blackwall said.

Hawke placed one hand on Fenris’s knee. “What are you thinking?” she asked.

He looked at her, then realized he was frowning. “Oh,” he said. “There was an odd moment. I told him I was in Seheron with the fog warriors, and he… reacted.” He narrowed his eyes thoughtfully. “I wonder if perhaps I fought him there.”

Hawke’s jaw dropped, and she laughed. “Well, that’ll be awkward.”

“Ah, you’re both civilized men,” Blackwall said. “Take him to a tavern for drinks and talk it over.”

Fenris raised an eyebrow at Blackwall; he couldn’t be sure if he was kidding or not.

Varric, meanwhile, snorted with laughter. “Drinks between a qunari and an elf with a known history of ripping out perfectly functional organs? That sounds like a great plan.”

“Oh Varric, you have so little faith,” Hawke complained. “I think it’s a brilliant strategy! Especially since this Bull fellow obviously enjoys a good drink.”

Varric smirked. “So we’re calling him ‘Bull’ now, are we?”

Hawke scoffed and rolled her eyes. “Well, I’m certainly not calling him ‘The Iron Bull’ every time I have to address him. Can’t be bothered to waste my breath.”

Varric tilted his head thoughtfully. “I dunno, Hawke. I think we should call him ‘Tiny’.”

Blackwall snorted with amusement, and Hawke burst into raucous laughter. “Yes!” she exclaimed. She slung an arm around Varric’s neck. “I love that. It’s perfect.” She wiped a tear of mirth from her eye, then looked up at Solas.

She tilted her head. “Solas, why so serious still? I thought this was what you wanted.”

Solas’s pensive frown cleared slightly as she addressed him. “Yes,” he said. “I… yes. Given the choices presented, I believe Fenris made the right one.” He turned his head to watch as Bull and his Chargers cleaned up the beach and readied their gear for the trip to Haven.

He sighed, then spoke quietly. “Freedom is a constant fight. A battle that may never cease.”

Fenris raised his eyebrows. Nobody spoke for a moment. Then Solas turned back to face them.

He smiled faintly as he met Hawke’s wide eyes. “Forgive me. The musings of a man who has had too little sleep,” he said. He bowed his head slightly to Fenris. “Shall we move on?”

“Yes,” Fenris said cautiously. He, Hawke, Varric and Blackwall rose to their feet, and soon they were all hiking across the hilly landscape once more and searching for clues about the Wardens’ presence, or lack thereof.

As they traversed the mountainous landscape, Blackwall asked Hawke, Varric and Fenris about their time in Kirkwall. Fenris left it to Varric and Hawke to tell the majority of the stories, interjecting on occasion to correct some of Varric’s more outlandish embellishments if Hawke was too busy laughing to do so herself.

Blackwall led the way under the sodden arching bough of a pine tree, then lifted the bough politely so the others could pass. “I’m curious, though,” he said to Varric. “Hawke said your book ends at the point when you all fled Kirkwall. Two years later, the three of you are here. What about the others?” He looked at Hawke. “Where’s your brother, for instance?”

“Ah, Carv,” Hawke said. “He’s actually still a Templar, and still in Kirkwall. But he mostly works for Aveline, hunting down abominations and such. No Circle left for him to guard, you see.”

She smiled as she spoke, and her tone was pleasant. Fenris reached over and briefly squeezed her hand. She shot him a quick little smile, but Fenris could see the sadness in her amber eyes.

Blackwall hummed with interest. “So Aveline is still in Kirkwall as well.”

“Yep,” Varric said. He clambered effortfully over a fallen tree, then sighed in annoyance before continuing. “She’s still Guard-Captain. I’m pretty sure Kirkwall would fall into the sea if she quit her job.”

Solas, who had been quiet since leaving the beach, spoke up. “What of Anders? The mage who incited the Rebellion?”

“He left Kirkwall with us,” Hawke replied. “But he didn’t stay. He…” She hesitated, then said, “He left immediately after we were clear of Kirkwall. We don’t know where he went.”

“Probably to Tevinter,” Fenris muttered resentfully, and Hawke shot him an annoyed look.

Varric glanced at Blackwall with a raised eyebrow. “We don’t know where he is, and frankly, I don’t want to know.”

Blackwall’s gaze darted between the three of them, and his tone was slightly guarded as he spoke again. “What about Isabela?”

Hawke brightened and grinned. “Oh, she’s doing fantastic. She finally got that ship she wanted.”

Varric huffed in amusement. “She went back to the Raiders. She’s calling herself an admiral now. I’m not sure if she’s really in charge or just has a really big hat.” He tilted his head thoughtfully. “Might be the same thing, honestly.”

Hawke snickered and elbowed Blackwall. “She doesn’t have a cock to wave around, so she’s got to use a hat, see?”

Blackwall coughed out a little laugh before speaking again. “I heard that Sebastian Vael was crowned the Prince of Starkhaven.”

Hawke harrumphed. “And I bet he’s really pleased about it, too.” She gave Fenris a mock-thoughtful look. “Do you think he’s still celibate now that he’s a prince again? I’m still convinced that he was so uptight because of the whole no-sex married-to-Andraste thing.”

Fenris shook his head as he gingerly stepped over a dead and decomposing nug. “Of course his sex life is the thing you wonder about since he’s been gone.”

Hawke hopped over the nug as well, then widened her eyes and linked her arm with his. “Of course it is. Who do you think you’re speaking to?”

He scoffed, and Hawke smiled. Then Solas spoke again.

“And the Dalish mage. Merrill,” he said. He looked at Hawke. “You mentioned once that she was the last one to take her leave from you and Fenris?”

Fenris stiffened slightly at the mention of Merrill, and Blackwall looked at Varric in surprise. “She was?” he said. “I thought you were the last to leave.”

Varric grimaced and shook his head. “Nah. I left a few months after Isabela. Went back to Kirkwall to try and help set things straight.”

“Oh,” Blackwall said. He looked at Fenris curiously. “What is Merrill up to now?”

Hawke’s fingers tensed slightly at the inside of his elbow. Then she released his arm.

Fenris glanced at Blackwall and Solas. “We don’t know,” he said.

Blackwall’s frown deepened. “You don’t? Why…?” His eyes widened. “Did something bad happen to her?”

“No, no,” Hawke said hastily. “Nothing like that. She just, err….” She glanced quickly at Fenris, then looked away and briefly scratched the left side of her ribs.

Fenris scowled. He did not want to talk about this with Blackwall and Solas, but forcing them to drop the issue would only make things more awkward, and Hawke was clearly feeling awkward enough already.

He faced Blackwall and Solas fully. “I had an argument with her. We had… strong differences of opinion, and she left.”

It was all they needed to know. The rest wasn’t their business. They didn’t need to know that Fenris and Merrill almost came to blows, or that Hawke had to physically place herself between them to stop the fight from happening.

They didn’t need to know how Fenris had yelled at Hawke like he hadn’t done in years. And they didn't need to know that she’d basically been forced to send Merrill away to calm him down.

A now-familiar surge of shame burned his stomach at the memory. He looked away from Solas and Blackwall and reached for Hawke’s hand.

She laced her fingers with his, but continued to avoid his eye. An uncomfortable moment later, Blackwall cleared his throat. “Solas,” he said cheerfully. “I’ve got a question about spirits for you.”

Fenris was grateful for the clumsy topic change, and even more grateful when Solas swiftly latched onto it. “Certainly,” he said. “What would you like to know?”

“Well,” Blackwall said, “you make friends with spirits in the Fade. Are there any that are more than just friends?”

Fenris, Varric, and Hawke all looked up in surprise. Solas, on the other hand, immediately scowled. “Oh, for... really?” he complained.

Blackwall innocently lifted his hands. “Look, it's a natural thing to be curious about!”

“For a twelve-year-old,” Solas retorted, but Fenris noticed that his ears were turning faintly pink.

Hawke clearly noticed it too; her expression was slowly morphing from surprise into delight.

Blackwall’s face was wreathed in the kind of shit-eating grin that Fenris was used to seeing on Hawke’s face. “It's a simple yes or no question,” he said.

“Nothing about the Fade or spirits is simple,” Solas said. “Especially not that!”

“Oh, Solas,” Hawke crooned. “Your face is turning red.” She grinned at Varric. “He looks like Cullen when anyone mentions anything about underpants.”

Varric snorted. “Hawke, you’re the only one who ever mentions underpants around Cullen.”

Fenris ignored them. He frowned at Solas. “Are you saying you have had relations with demons?” he demanded.

Hawke snorted loudly, then slapped her hands over her mouth.

Solas glared at Fenris. “I did not-” He broke off abruptly, then took a deep breath before speaking again. “Such a crude question belies the complexity of the situation,” he finally said.

Fenris came to a stop and folded his arms. “Explain it, then,” he said.

Solas scowled. “The Chantry says demons hate the natural world and seek to bring their chaos and destruction to the living,” he said. “But such simplistic labels misconstrue their motivations, and in so doing, do all a great disservice.” He took another deep breath, then lifted his chin and spoke in a more measured tone. “Spirits wish to join the living, and a demon is that wish gone wrong.”

Fenris frowned more deeply. “So you admit that spirits and demons are one and the same.”

Solas narrowed his eyes. “Yes and no,” he said. “Many spirits are a pure embodiment of a virtue or purpose. Love, for example, or wisdom. Demons arise when a spirit is corrupted from its original purpose. And the most common source of such corruption is contact with the world in which we now live.”

“That’s all it takes? Contact with our world?” Hawke asked. The juvenile humour was gone from her face, replaced with open curiosity instead.

Solas shrugged sadly. “For many lesser spirits, yes,” he said. “This world is illicit and unnatural for them. They fight to gain entrance, but when the rules of this world do not mirror theirs, they lash out. Tragic, but not evil.”

Fenris was hardly reassured. “So you are saying that any spirit who enters our world becomes a demon,” he said flatly. He turned to Hawke. “I knew Anders was an abomination from the start. Trying to tell us that his blasted vengeance demon was-”

“A spirit of justice?” Solas interrupted.

Fenris turned back to him with narrowed eyes. “Yes,” he said suspiciously. “How…?”

Solas bowed his head slightly. “This is another way that spirits become corrupted: through contact with the darker impulses of the people who live in this world.” He sighed once more. “Men are rife with such impulses: anger, ambition, greed. These are corrupting influences, and demons are a reflection of that corruption.”

Hawke nodded thoughtfully, but Fenris raised his eyebrows skeptically. “You mean to tell us you have had relationships with beings whose nature is so mutable?” he demanded. “Beings who can shift from one thing to the complete opposite based solely on the person they are in contact with?”

“And what exactly do you think happens when corporeal beings like you or I foster relations with each other?” Solas said pointedly. “Do you think your nature so immune to corruption by the mistreatment of others? Do you truly see yourself unchanged by the people you befriend? By the people you choose to love?” He gestured at Varric and Hawke.

“‘Choose’ being the crucial word,” Fenris retorted. “There is no two-sided relationship with demons. There is only possession.”

“That is incorrect,” Solas said bluntly. “There is voluntary joining, and involuntary joining. The involuntary kind is what you think of as possession. This is the purview of demons. The voluntary kind, on the other hand… I understand that it can be transformative for those who are fortunate enough to experience it.”

“And you know this how?” Fenris said shrewdly. “You told me that you set wards so you do not become possessed in the Fade. Was that a lie?”

“It is possible to have a conversation with a spirit without becoming possessed by them,” Solas said acerbically. “Just as it is possible to speak to a person without entering into sexual relations.”

At long last, Blackwall spoke up. “So you do admit that sex was involved.”

Varric coughed, and Solas rubbed his face in frustration. “Fenedhis lasa. Teldirthalelen,” he muttered. He turned on his heel and took two steps away, then suddenly turned toward Fenris once more.

“Do you scorn every being whose nature is unlike yours?” he demanded. “Whose mode of being you do not understand?”

“I tend to have scorn for any being whose primary objective is to kill me, yes,” Fenris retorted.

Solas shook his head emphatically. “That is the - what I’m trying to explain-” He abruptly stopped, and Fenris could see the muscles clenching in his jaw.

He took a deep breath, then lifted his chin. “You have never met a spirit in its purest form,” he said. “Untouched and uncorrupted by the desires of man. Perhaps you will one day, if you are fortunate.”

His voice was calm, but his eyes were hard as stone. Fenris curled his lip skeptically, but didn’t answer. He and Solas stared at each other tensely for a moment longer.

Then Solas glanced briefly at Hawke, who had been watching the argument in wide-eyed silence. “Please excuse me,” he said to her, then turned and strode away.

They watched him go in silence. Hawke pulled a face at Fenris. “Wow. You actually made him angry,” she remarked. “I didn’t think he even got angry. He’s usually so… you know…”

“Placid?” Varric suggested.

“Exactly,” Hawke said.

Fenris grunted noncommittally. “We should move on. We’ll need to be on our way to Haven by tomorrow. The mages should be rested enough to close the blasted Breach by the time we get back.”

“Good plan,” Blackwall remarked as they followed in Solas’s wake. “Besides, I have a bet with Sera to follow up on.”

Hawke looked at him quizzically. Then she grinned. “Andraste’s sacred knickers,” she breathed. “Is that why you asked him that question about sex with spirits?”

Blackwall smirked, and Hawke burst out laughing. “Oh, that’s terrible,” she crowed. “You and Sera are terrible, horrible people.” She flung her arms around Blackwall’s broad body in an impulsive hug.

Blackwall chortled, and Varric laughed along with them, but Fenris couldn’t crack a smile. The argument with Solas was disturbing him more than he cared to admit. Until this point, he and Solas had gotten along relatively well, all things considered. Neither of them was particularly prone to idle chatter, and Fenris appreciated Solas’s quiet. They seemed to have similar feelings about a number of things, including Tevinter and the Qun. Fenris had always known that Solas had an odd preoccupation with the Fade, but Solas was such a humble mage that Fenris had believed his talk about wards and precautions and careful dreamwalking. But he hadn’t known that Solas’s attitudes about spirits and demons were quite this lenient.

There had been no reason to think Solas was so liberal about demons. The elvhen mage had fiercely fought every demon they’d encountered thus far. Knowing now that Solas was open to befriending them…

But it’s the spirits that Solas spoke of befriending, not the demons, Fenris thought. If Solas was to be believed, then spirits and demons were two sides of a coin. They were the same, but also... not.

Fenris shook his head. There was no evidence to back up Solas’s claims. Every time anyone had ever spoken of spirits - Anders and his blasted justice, and Merrill with her damned spirit of wisdom - what they’d really meant was demons.

But there was that one point Solas had made. The point about corporeal people being just as strongly affected - or corrupted - by the people around them…

At that moment, Hawke came up beside him. “Hello,” she said. “Everything all right?”

Her voice was still curled with laughter, and her cheeks were pink with it. Her expression was soft and warm, and for a brief moment, Fenris studied her.

Loathe though he was to admit it, he could see Solas’s point. The person he was with Hawke was very different from the broken husk he’d been with Danarius. Fenris was happier because of Hawke. He was calmer. Less angry. More inclined to laugh. He was unequivocally a different person when he was around her, and it would be foolish to deny it. If that was true, then maybe…

He reached out and linked his fingers with hers. “Do you believe him? Solas?” he asked.

She nibbled her lower lip thoughtfully before answering. “You know what’s funny?” she said. “I wasn’t raised in a Circle. But the more we travel and the more people we meet, the more I realize that my magical education was pretty much a Circle curriculum.”

Fenris tilted his head curiously, and she elaborated. “My father taught us that demons were evil and separate from spirits. But the way Anders described his whole experience with Venjustice…” She shrugged. “If Solas is right, it would explain Anders’s situation. He started off all noble and stuff, and maybe a spirit of justice was attracted to that. Then he got angry, and his anger turned the spirit into a demon of vengeance.” She paused, and her eyes widened. “Wow. That theory is actually a perfect fit.” She looked up at Fenris.

He pursed his lips. “This does not change the fact that Anders is an abomination,” he said sternly.

Hawke tsked irritably. “All right, fine, he’s an abomination. But I don’t think he started out that way. It really sounds like his little partnership with Justice was exactly what Solas said: a voluntary joining.” She wiggled her eyebrows. “In which case, maybe Anders was getting busy with Venjustice on the regular-”

Fenris rolled his eyes. “Hawke,” he complained.

She laughed and squeezed his hand. “All right, all right. But it is an interesting theory.” She shrugged. “And who knows? Maybe we will meet a pure spirit someday. See if Solas is really right about all this.”

Fenris scoffed. “With all these angry and power-hungry factions at every corner of the continent? It seems extremely unlikely.”

“You know what else was unlikely?” she said. “You being thrown into the centre of all this. Stranger things have happened, right?”

Fenris grunted bad-temperedly. Then Hawke pulled him to a stop.

She reached up and stroked his cheek with her knuckles. “I mean it,” she said softly. “Are you all right?”

He looked down into her serious face. It was on the tip of his tongue to tell her he was fine, as he’d been doing since they’d left the Hinterlands. But the whole day thus far had left him feeling particularly burnt out. There was the uncertainty of that negotiation with Bull, then the prolonged storytelling with Blackwall, and now this argument with Solas…

He glanced away from Hawke to see where the others were. Solas was still out of sight, as expected, and Blackwall and Varric were about twenty paces ahead.

He looked at Hawke once more. “I grow weary of all this company,” he said quietly. “I… Hawke, I still…”

“I know,” she whispered. She stepped closer to him and pressed her forehead to his. “I know you want to escape. I know.”

He nodded, then wrapped his arms around her. She slid her arms around his neck, and for a moment, Fenris closed his eyes and allowed himself to savour the quiet comfort of her embrace.

He breathed slowly against her fragrant hair. A minute later, she brushed her lips against his jaw.

“Come on. We should go,” she whispered.

He swallowed, then nodded. He reluctantly released her, and they hurried along in Blackwall and Varric’s wake.

Stranger things have happened, Hawke had said. And they had certainly seen some strange things in their time together. Meredith turning into red lyrium, Orsino becoming a disgusting abomination, the varterral at Sundermount and Leandra’s reanimated corpse…

Venhedis, they had seen some strange and terrible things. Compared to all of that, meeting a friendly spirit wouldn’t be at the top of the list.

But it did seem pretty damned unlikely.

************************

Qunlat phrase in this chapter: Shanedan. Ebasaam esaam kost = Greetings. We come in peace.

Elvhen phrases in this chapter, courtesy of FenxShiral on AO3: Fenedhis lasa = fuck a wolf’s cock [a very rude curse]; teldirthalelen = stupid people/people who refuse to learn.

#fenris #fenris fic #fenris the inquisitor #fenquisition #Lovers in a Dangerous Time #fenhawke #fenris/hawke #fenris x hawke #hawris #fhawris #fenris/femHawke #fenris x femhawke #fenris/f!hawke #fenris x f!hawke #iron bull #the iron bull #solas #blackwall #pikapeppa writes

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monolid-monologues · 6 years ago

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Wtf is going on - Part I.

#12.

READY OR NOT..............

The next three weeks feel impossible.

My KNEES are KNOCKING.

TOO MUCH IS HAPPENING

Fuck!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I’m losing my mind lol. I’m going to take myself through this week by week. Breaking up my next 3 blog posts into a Three part series, and i’m going to slowly tread wtf is going on.

1.) MY JOB, MY LIFE

Karina and i drove LA >> Oakland >> LA in one day to audition for 5 minutes. LoL. We’re crazy and we know that. The troubling fact is this job means quitting my current one and moving to Oakland.

In February at the festival in Oregon, we were invited to audition for Kaiser Permanente’s Educational Theatre. They employ actors to perform shows for kids.

It pays more than my current job. It is less stable than my current job.

I’m TERRIFIED of having *that* conversation with my dad, and my office.

Desperate to avoid a serving job (having worked them since i was 16), i approached my dad for a job at his company. He knows about me and theater. He knew to be cautious. He asked me commit 2 years. I promised my dad 2 years; it’s only been 6 months. There’s a voice in my head chiding me for even considering this new opportunity.

And part of me is very very resistant to the reality of this new opportunity. Moving to Oakland means moving away from Robin, from Heather, from my studio, from all the work i’ve been doing in L.A to lay down some roots. Working full time at a corporate theater. Suffering bay area rent. Potentially losing my dad’s support (he is helping me with car and insurance payments). And pouring so much time into someone else’s theater. And potentially neglecting my own dreams -- risk of being too burnt, busy and broke to manifest my own theater projects. Not to mention all my fears around the importance of artistic freedom to me and needing to comply with a higher authority for paycheck’s sake (literal nightmare). And i just, might, very well, possibly, end up hating the job.

I fear breaking my promise. Going back on my word. Owning up to the fact that i am not the loyal bitch we hoped i was. I fear these feelings of betrayal. I fear upsetting my dad and losing his support. I fear the disrespect i am slamming on my director & cecillia’s time and energy and trust in me. I fear that there is no “good” decision, but i can see Regret sitting atop my worst case scenario and i’m afraid that it doesn’t even really matter how things go, whether i stay or go, it’s all a sticky situation.

If i get the job, but don’t go, i am still at the office. Sitting. So much sitting............clutching my small studio time like the life jacket it is...

If i get the job and want go, well, fuck, that’s a lot of, fuck. Can i put my independent theater dreams on hold? Is this experience worth pursuing? Is it worth upsetting my entire life here? Wow. Since when did i get so attached to my life here? I’ve worked so hard since i’ve been here, to seek, and seek, and plan, and build. I’ve been planning for my life here in L.A. I NeVER imagined relocating this soon. Turning my life upside down when i’ve literally JUST managed to get it looking right-side-up. f$&%@#$!

OKAY Normally, i’d wait to see if i got called back to start worrying. But this opportunity requiring 600 mile drives, requiring me and karina to rearrange chunks of our lives, to even be considered for the job, makes every step in the audition process so costly o_o. We’re asking ourselves “if we do get called back, how are we even going to get there?” We’re investing and sacrificing for a huge Maybe. Even pursuing the possibility is TOO MUCH!!!! yet here we are. Why? Why am i this crazy about a maybe?

L.A.’S BEEN GROWING ON ME. AND I MIGHT NOT GET THE JOB. LET’S KEEP IT SIMPLE, STUPID --

Tomorrow, we will find out if we’re called back. If we’re called back, the one thing i need to do (the scariest fkn thing ok) is ask for another day off (to secretly attend). If god blesses me with a Yes and my director is NOT fed up with my bullshit, the next thing is figuring out how tf to get there. And that’s it. That’s it. That’s it. For now.

* * *

An interlude.)

What changes when i decide i’m tired of doubting myself? Staying off social media is a great relief. I stepped back because i was starting to carry some duty to entertain or cater to the tastes of the people who engage with what i post. The anxiety that begins to stir between myself and thoughts of people far away -- with heavy social media comes this baggage we pick up and hold nearly voluntarily.

Just as we are curious how someone else’s life is going, we imagine other people are curious about ours.

We second-guess what we want to post. When it’s about what we want to share in the first place. How anybody receives it is their business. Leave them tf ALONE, LOL. Leave YOURSELF alone!

If it’s your career, you chase one of few formulas. If it’s your hobby, you draw from these formulas and mix in your personal flavor of “idgaf”. And if it’s mostly irrelevant to what you do/what you want, you’re not even bothered. *shrug*

Every fuckin body will tell you, people who don’t frequent social media are happier.

Do you think so? Do we think so? I’m skeptical. It’s easy to believe, given how much (admit it) time and attention social media sucks. But actually? Let’s be clear: who can know? Lol. The very point around people who don’t use social media is they are beyond the reach of our prying eyes. They are safe, much less susceptible to the wandering imagination of a distant relationship. They are out of bounds.

Sometimes i wish i was that kind of person. Whoever that means.

I’m not.

There’s something about getting to show something to hundreds of people. There’s something about connections waiting to be made. Paths that could cross. Click-holes where we lean outside of our usual environments. We are open to exposure and being exposed. We are creative with our public image. We narrate our own lives. We seek others’. ThaT PART. That part. “I will engage!!!!!!!!!!”

Is it possible to have a healthy relationship with social media?

What does that look like?

There’s so much in our culture that discourages social media use - from mental health to physical health - we are told every day what the pitfalls are. We know it ourselves in living our lives. The common denominator to these warnings is usually over-consumption. Too much. Much too much.

If we are using social media, we are at risk. We know the risks. We live with the risks. ALAS - we believe we can manage the time/space distortion that the social media universe rips into our lives.

With social media comes this massive gravitational pull sucking us into a manufactured world. This tech, as far as i’m concerned, insanely complicates our lives - adding data to bodies, instant X long distance everything, and a level of productivity concerning online metrics that is often inversely proportional to our productivity offline.

The most estranged relationships continue to fizzle quietly with mutual following. Our brains buzz “To post or not to post”. And our eyes are getting tired, our thumbs sore; our time and attention sinks and slips away from us. Like retribution for the discontent, disinterest, and laziness we risk habituating with social media.

We give access and have access and the ride is crippling or energizing depending on whatever people or time in your life.

Do the rewards outweigh the risks?

* * *

II. SHOWTIME

IT’S GO TIME.

While i’m floundering in the dark about my job, my life, March is ending soon and come April comes the premiere and one-month-run of my new production, 1-800-PERFECTION.

This is my first show in socal. My first show outside of Davis. My first full solo work. My first script-based PLAY in YEARS.

March Timeline:

meeting with studio manager to settle performance dates (today)

last full rehearsal (3/24 SAT)

tech rehearsal with Heather (3/30 SAT)

preview performance w/ talk back (3/31 SUN) YOU’RE INVITED. [email protected] | please come! TIME: 1-3pm LOCATION: 1183 Kraemer Blvd, Anaheim, CA

April Timeline:

Dress Rehearsal (week 1, TBD)

1st Show (week 2, TBD)

2nd show (week 3, TBD)

3rd Show (week 4, TBD) Tickets: $12 venmo (seat reserved) or $10 cash at door (exact change!!!)

My radical marketing plan is to do it in person. I wanna shit my pants thinking about it, but i’m determined to go out there into public places and invite people to my show face 2 face. I will certainly let you know how it goes. The experience may turn up a giant dumpster fire. :-)

Common questions when opening a new work include: what if ppl hate it? what if i hate it? what if no one comes? what if this is the end of my reputation as an artist as we know it? as i know it? what if i’m not ready?

What if i didn’t rehearse enough? THIS ONE’S BEEN HAUNTING ME.

My best friend asks me how long i’ve been working on this play. I tell her i can afford 20 hours of studio time a month. It’s been almost 4 months now. And then she’s like, isn’t 20 hours...less than a day? *brain explodes* Have i only worked on my show for LESS THAN 4 DAYS? IS IT LIKE THAT?

It has been living, growing, changing with me day to day. But of course, 20 hours is really it of dedicated work time/space. 5 hours a week.

I am used to working 30 hours per weeeeeek on a show. that’s what i’m used to.

....................................................

I remember when i first found this studio offering exactly what i was looking for and could afford, i was ELATED to get 20 hours a month. Considering the ZERO work i was doing my first 2 months back in LA -- Getting 1 step closer to where i would be today - on the cusp of running a whole original ass show - was mooooreee than enough.

But this is honestly one worry out of SO MANY, literally so many, that it’s all looking - sounding - and feeling increasingly ridiculous. because there’s just so much. *laugh cry emoji* * * * I’m never going to forget what i signed up for. Everything on my plate, i set up for myself.

Was i ready for all of this? No. Did i dream this up and seek its fruition? Hell yes. Even i know that only time will tell me What was What. So, i will take it one fkn day at a time.

Maybe this is a lesson to follow your dreams no matter what, precisely BECAUSE you’ll never be ready for it. I can’t imagine being ready for what i’m going through these days. There’s no fucking way i could’ve known how stickyyyy things could get when i made my first studio payment in December, or asked my dad for a job in October.

But go through with it, we will, because we’ve reached the point where we must. I’m. Not. Looking. Back.

BUT I AM REALLY TRYING TO TAKE CARE OF MY HEALTH WHILE I’M WHIZZING ACROSS THE STATE AND PREPARING ALL THE SHOW THINGS. WISH ME SOME HONEST LUCK ON THAT.

So, I don’t have a dramatic poignant closer for you on this one. Let’s, uh, give that to Part 3, when we wrap this whole mess up. (ie. is Oakland rlly happening? how was canvassing the brea mall to advertise my show LMAO? did i lose my damn mind, or nah?)

Hi. I just want to say, thank you for reading. Really. thank you.

I think my writing is suffering from the craziness atm.

* * *

i’ve committed to being vulnerable in writing every week.

previous letter: #11. detox,

drop me a line

http://monolid-monologues.tumblr.com/ask

#tinyletter #wtfisgoingon123 #rose kim

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imaginetonyandbucky · 7 years ago

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Please comment and subscribe! (3 of 4)

The next weeks Bucky and Tony met regularly and played games together, in private, off their youtube channels. It was a nice change to recording games. There was no pressure to do everything right and be funny at the same time. It was care-free and they could talk about a lot of things besides games as well. Both Tony and Bucky had outed themselves on their youtube channels and that exposed both of them to some hatred online. They talked about their experience with past boyfriends and what they had done before they had started on youtube. Tony had been an engineer before and he still was to some point. He told Bucky about his plans to start a new series testing out gadgets and tech devices, most likely involving explosions in one way or another. It all sounded very interesting.

Eventually Tony brought up the subject of doing a series together.

"I don't want you to think that I wouldn't want to do a series with you, I really do, but I don't want to pressure you into that kind of exposure because I know it's not just all hunky-dory, so I want you to make the call." Tony had said one day and Bucky really had to think about that.

He wasn't sure if he really wanted to be put on the spot and exposed to potentially 7 million viewers. Bucky was very happy with the way his little community was growing and you really needed a thick skin if you did a collab with Tony because Tony's hardcore fans rarely liked a newcomer and were not afraid to show it. He would like to see his channel grow but was it worth the risk that someone found out his secret.

His secret, that was a whole different story, because he hadn't even told Tony about his missing arm.

"I'll think about it. I like what we got going right now, Tones." Bucky didn't say that he feared their relationship would change if they started doing videos together.

"Yeah, no problem. I know my fans can be difficult."

(More after the break!)

---

It was a few weeks later when Tony was preparing to leave for PAX. The gaming convention was a regular thing for Tony and he always had large meet-ups with fans and was invited to speak on several panels for new games.

Bucky, on the other hand, had only ever seen a convention via the live feed and he didn't want to change that any time soon.

"You could come with me, you know? You could stay backstage if the exposure is not your thing, I'm sure I can get you a pass, they always give me some."

"Nah, It's too far away for my taste and too many people."

"Okay, I can understand." Tony had sounded disappointed at Bucky's refusal to come, had even offered to pay for the flight to Boston and accommodations, but Bucky had made up excuses that he couldn't come. Tony's desire to meet him had become clear to Bucky for some time now. Their friendship had evolved over the months, seeing as their relationship had started with both of them admitting they thought the other was cute there had been a certain vibe of something more since the beginning but it had become clear now. They were talking more and more outside of playing games, leaving each other messages on discord for when the other was offline.

They exchanged phone numbers at last, so far they had always been on their computers when they talked to each other, but now that Tony would be away for a while it had become necessary. Bucky hadn't thought about it much, it was just another way to message each other, but he was soon shown otherwise when Tony started to message him pictures of himself making funny faces when he was waiting backstage and bored.

"Even mining cobblestone for 5 hours wouldn't be as boring as waiting for them to set up the stage. You'd think they knew what they were doing." Tony wrote him on the day the panel with him and a few other YouTubers with a high sub count was being held. Bucky was sitting in front of his PC watching the live stream. It was currently displaying a message about technical difficulties.

"If only they'd let me help. I could figure it out." Tony wrote and Bucky could imagine the cute pout on his face.

"I'm sure you could," Bucky answered with obvious sarcasm.

"Hey, I totally could. I've got a Ph.D. in engineering."

"You what? O_O" Bucky almost dropped his phone.

"Yeah, I studied at MIT. Did I never tell you?"

"Nooooooooo! I mean... I knew you were smart but not that you were an actual genius." Bucky couldn't believe it.

"Got the paper to prove it an all. Oh, I gotta go, they finally figured it out."

That was the last message before the panel went live and Bucky could watch Tony answer questions about games and youtube. The fact that Tony was an actual genius never left him that day.

Tony sent him more and more selfies and photos of his day and Bucky had to grin at every single one of them. Tony was hilarious and extremely handsome. Of course, Bucky knew what Tony looked like but seeing Tony so carefree and private was something different and to know that these pictures were just for him. It made Bucky's heart beat a little faster and Steve occasionally caught him staring at his phone for minutes on end grinning from ear to ear.

"You're crushing so hard, Buck," Steve said one day when Bucky was lying on the couch scrolling through all the pics Tony had sent him.

"I'm not, I just like the guy, that's all," Bucky said and when Steve didn't answer with a snarky comment again Bucky looked up.

Steve was smiling at him, not that shit-eating grin when he wanted to make fun of Bucky but a fond smile that made Bucky pause for a moment.

"I'm happy for you, you know," Steve said. "After all you've been through. I'm happy that you found someone again."

Bucky had had a few relationships in the past and none of them had been particularly bad, but after he lost his arm he had never gone back to dating or meeting people in general. He had lost his confidence, didn't see himself as attractive anymore and so he had holed up in his room most of the time. It had only been a year or so ago that he had found the courage to be more open again. He had started using a webcam for his videos and had joined Steve on outings on occasion. Still, he had never thought about dating again. The thing with Tony, however, it had grown into something more than friendship without him even realizing what was happening.

It hit Bucky like a fist in the stomach. He had fallen in love.

With Tony.

He swallowed hard and buried himself deeper into his blanket. "He found me if anything..." Bucky mumbled and then gasped and dropped his phone when Steve hugged him without warning.

---

Bucky woke up at 3 am to his phone furiously beeping. It could only mean one thing.

Tony.

Already smiling Bucky reached for his phone and found that he had several messages from the other. Excitedly he opened them up and was surprised to not only find a few messages but also a rather large video file.

"Bucky"

"Bucko"

"Buckaroooooo"

"I hav to tel u somthin"

"Fuk, why is the"

"screen so fuzzy?"

Bucky chuckled. It looked like Tony had been out partying and was now drunk messaging him. He wondered what kind of shenanigans Tony got up to this time and clicked on the video.

The video was shaky and it looked like Tony was sitting in his bed, hair a complete mess and his eyes bloodshot.

"Bucky," he slurred, definitely drunk, "Buckaroo, Buckster, Sunshine. I have to tell you something." His tone was serious unlike the other drunk messages Bucky had received and a dreaded feeling came over him.

"I hope you're not mad at me. " Tony grabbed for a pillow with his free hand and hugged it to his chest. "I did something. I am drunk, as you see, but that is not the thing I did. It is /a/ thing I did but it's not /the/ thing I did." Tony shook his head and needed a moment to focus on the camera again. "I hope I don't regret this because I really like you. Like really really like you and that...that's the problem." Tony ran his hand through his hair, disheveling it even more and Bucky started to worry even more. He had a feeling Tony was going to cut off all contact between them, that Bucky was just not good enough. Tony certainly had more important things to do than hang out with Bucky late at night.

"Bucky." Tony's stern tone of voice made Bucky focus back on the video.

Tony had brought the camera close to his face and was staring right at it.

"I love you."

Bucky threw the phone across the bed like it had just bitten him. Surely he hadn't heard that right. Bucky stared into the darkness, the phone had landed screen first on the end of the bed and he could still hear Tony's muffled voice coming from it. It had to be a joke, Tony was drunk, that had to be it.

With a racing heart, Bucky crawled to the end of the bed and picked up his phone again. The video had stopped.

Slowly Bucky sat back down again, pulling the covers around himself and then played the video again and this time he kept watching after Tony had said the words.

"I said it. I said it. Yes. Bucky, I love you. I've been crushing on you so hard ever since I saw your first video and then I contacted you and then you turn out to be this amazing person and I shouldn't have fallen in love with you. You probably don't need someone like me in your life, but I couldn't stop myself. The way you smile, the way you laugh. You're such a wonderful person and you put up with me of all people when I'm such an obnoxious douchebag. I'm an arrogant asshole. If you looked up narcissistic Youtuber on urban dictionary there'd be a reference to me." Tony had worked himself up into a full-blown rant, about himself. Bucky could hardly listen let alone watch how self-deprecating Tony was behaving. It made no sense to him.

How could Tony even think that Bucky wouldn't want him?

Eventually Tony ran out of steam and he hid his face in the pillow.

"Please don't be mad at me, Bucky. " Tony mumbled, barely audible and then the video ended. Bucky sat in silence, stunned and confused. He had never dared to hope that Tony reciprocate his feelings and now Tony had been the one to confess his feelings to him and he even felt bad about it.

Bucky was still thinking about what to write Tony back to assure him that no Bucky he wasn't mad, quite the contrary when his phone rang with the call from an unknown number. Thinking it might be Tony Bucky answered without hesitation.

"Tony?" He asked hopefully.

"Sorry to disappoint you but this is Rhodey, Tony's friend. You might know me as Warmachine."

Bucky frowned, he had never talked with Rhodey before but Tony had talked plenty about his best friend. "I know who you are. Is Tony alright? Has something happened?"

"Tony's fine. He's passed out after he sent you that video, that I only got to see the end of. Live and in color. That's why I wanted to talk to you." Rhodey sounded serious and Bucky's heart sunk.

"I'm not gonna use the video to black mail him or anything."

"Didn't see you as the type to do that but I appreciate it, but that's not what I was worried about." Rhodey paused for a moment and sighed. "Could you let him down gently? When you tell him you're not interested? Make it a bit easier for him?"

"Hold on." Bucky sat up straighter. "Why would I do that?"

Another sigh on Rhodey's end. "I didn't want to go into details but Tony's had some not so nice relationships and he doesn't take it easy when he's rejected, so maybe tell him you're seeing someone else - "

"No, I mean, why would I tell him I'm not interested?" Bucky asked thoroughly confused.

Rhodey sounded as confused as Bucky felt. "Because you're not? Or.... are you?"

"I- ", Bucky was suddenly put on the spot and didn't know how to formulate his feelings. "I think I am? I don't know. I always thought he couldn't be interested in someone like me and I never thought anything would come of it." Bucky confessed, trying not to think about that he was talking to a stranger, a stranger that was Tony's best friend. But from what he knew about Rhodey from his videos and Tony's stories he seemed like a guy you could trust and so it just came spilling out of Bucky. "I'm a fucking nobody next to Tony that he even talks to me is a miracle in my eyes and I like him. I like him a lot and I didn't want to ruin our friendship because I suddenly developed feelings. And I haven't told him a few things about me. Important things that he should know before... you know."

Rhodey suddenly chuckled, a soft laugh with no malice. "You two are something. Tony told me the exact same thing, that he didn't want to ruin your friendship, yadda yadda and that you wouldn't want him if you knew about his past relationships."

"But I know about his relationships..." Bucky said.

"Yeah, he probably told you everything was fine and mutual."

"Oh," Bucky said intelligently, suddenly realizing what that meant. A long silence followed afterward before Rhodey was the first to speak.

"And what about you, what is your secret, huh?"

"I...," Bucky hesitated, was he really going to tell Rhodey what he hadn't even dared to tell Tony?

"You don't have to tell me, but just so you know, there is very little that could make Tony turn away from someone he really cares about. He's not shallow, contrary to popular belief. So whatever it is, I think you can stop worrying." Rhodey assured him

"I'm disabled." Bucky blurted out and was surprised at himself. That was probably the first time ever he had said it out loud. He heard Rhodey laugh and Bucky felt like throwing up. It had been a mistake. His thoughts were going haywire about possible consequences, he was screwed, absolutely screwed, he'd have to break off any contact-

"Hey, don't worry about that, okay?" Rhodey said and brought Bucky's racing thoughts to an abrupt stop. "I can assure you Tony's not an abelist asshole if that's what you're scared off. He knows how to deal with it."

"Okay." Bucky managed to say after taking a deep breath.

"I'm gonna go and tuck Tony into bed now, maybe you can write him a nice message so he doesn't freak out in the morning because I'm sure he will."

"Yeah, sure. I wanted to do that anyway." Bucky leaned back in bed, suddenly feeling like a weight had lifted off his shoulders that he hadn't even known he was carrying.

"And Bucky?"

"Yes?"

"You're all he ever talks about and I haven't seen him this happy in years, so...." Rhodey trailed off, leaving Bucky to figure out the rest.

"Is this the shovel talk?" Bucky grinned, Rhodey was clearly joking.

"I used to be US Airforce, just so you know," Rhodey said in all faux seriousness.

Bucky snorted. "So what, I was in the army, I can take ya."

"Treat my boy right and you don't have to." With that Rhodey hung up and Bucky fell sideways into his pillows completely exhausted, but wide awake. He spent a long time thinking about what he wanted to write back to Tony. He finally settled on a heart smiley followed by a simple: "I love you, too, Tony." And after a few minutes, he added a few more lines explaining that he had been scared to tell him too and what two fools they were by not realizing sooner.

Bucky lied awake after that, phone clutched in his hand, thinking about what that meant for them because if they were to take it to the next level Bucky would no longer be able to hide behind his PC and weasel out of meeting Tony and he didn't really want to now anyway. If Rhodey was to be believed and Bucky trusted him because Tony trusted him then there was nothing to worry about.

He spent the next hours looking up flights to California until Tony started to send him a barrage of messages with how, what, why and a bunch of question marks. Bucky suggested they take it to Discord and talk there. Tony couldn't stop asking questions, Bucky got the feeling that he wasn't quite sober yet from the way he slurred his words but he managed to convince Tony that yes, he meant what he had said. Eventually Tony started to make all sorts of adorable noises.

"So does that mean we're boyfriend and boyfriend now?" Tony cooed into the microphone for probably the 6th time in the past 20 minutes.

Bucky laughed and wiped the wetness from his eyes. "Yes, that's what it means." He explained patiently. Tony was so adorable but that he felt that it was necessary to ask over and over again that this was real and that it was really happening, made Bucky ache for him. Rhodey had hinted at it earlier and that made Bucky not only sad but also angry. He was mad at Tony's exes for installing such a fear of abandonment in him, that he couldn't believe Bucky even after assuring him over and over again.

It also made Bucky worry, that he might not be enough for Tony, that he wasn't able to give Tony what he needed and he would end up just like his previous relationships and leave Tony. It terrified him.

A knock on Bucky's door brought him out of it. Tony was hiccuping softly into his ears.

"Bucky?" Steve asked from behind the door. "Have you been up all night?"

"Who's that?" Tony slurred.

"That's my flatmate, Steve, told you he's a pain in the ass sometimes," Bucky explained.

"I heard that!" Steve yelled. "And all I'm asking is that you keep it down! I've been hearing you chitchat all night!"

"Well, excuse me. I've been talking to my boyfriend, didn't know that was a crime!" Bucky yelled back and then the door burst open.

"Boyfriend?" Steve stared at him with wide eyes. "When did that happen?"

Bucky checked the clock. "About 22 minutes ago." He said, grinning smugly.

"Tony?" Steve asked, searching Bucky's monitors for a clue and when Bucky nodded Steve tackled him in his chair with no regards to any recording equipment still attached to Bucky. They both tumbled to the floor, Steve enveloping Bucky in a bear hug and squeezed him tightly. "I am so happy for you!"

Bucky struggled to breathe under Steve's crushing weight and tried to get his arm free. He was worried that Tony might get the wrong impression. Finally, he managed to get his hand free and hit Steve in the shoulder, who finally let go. He hurried back to the computer and put his headphones back on.

"Tony, you still there?" The line seemed dead and Bucky quickly checked if the call was still connected. It was and then after listening closely, he could hear Tony softly breathing. Tony had fallen asleep.

"I hate you." Bucky punched Steve in the shoulder a few times for good measures because the guy was grinning smugly at him.

#winteriron #tony stark #bucky barnes #tony x bucky #gamer au #no powers au #long distance relationship #getting together #steve rogers #james rhodes #prompts #jamesprince

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thewickedocean · 7 years ago

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This is sort of for mun, but: there's this song quote that makes me think of Honor for some reason. "I went out to a rave, was the first time with my friends. I was a rave virgin, didn't know what to expect. But then we heard this music, so good that it was scary. And that was the night happy hardcore popped my cherry~" (Long story short: how would Walani feel about that? Lol)

Oooh (non-gender-specific) gurl, lemme dish: it’s gonna be arant, so for those of you who don’t want mun-spoilers this is all going to beunder a cut.

Okay, so! I actually had to have a debate with myself as towhether or not Walani has actually hadany kind of happy fun sexytimes. It was a big, important question! And it wasone I had to really think about because, really, it could have gone one of twoways in my head: 1.) she’s done this before but still has no idea what she’sdoing or 2.) no, she has never actually had sex and is still merrily lopingaround the world as prime Hawaiian sexytime real estate.

Ultimately, it came down to the second one and we’re goingwith a big fat no on the “Has Walani actually gone all the way” question. She’sa young woman with four older brothers living in the 1920’s. From a societalstandpoint, it’s not like she really had a lot of room for exploring the ideaof sexual liberation beyond reading racy romance novels and hanging around inmixed-gender company out on the town. Veryforward! Now, beyond that she’s also a pretty young lady with four olderbrothers. Four older brothers who are enougholder than her that she is perpetually going to be their baby sister and not apeer. So, imagine you have a posse of guys that are kinda like the A Team whoseone purpose in life is to make sure that you don’t 1: die or 2: get pregnant. Thereya go.

I figure she’s probably got some kind of experience, given that you can’t supervise a girl allthe time and she’s got some time where she was away from home, but I am prettysure she was not keen on having romantic relations with anyone she met whileshe was working out as house staff at a sugar plantation. (And probably turneddown a few people because “Uh, no thank you- I work here, and you live here thatwould be weird.” Something I might explore later, thank you Dark Angsty AskAnon!)

So! Which leads us to where we are.

Alone.

In mixed company.

Sure, Honor can be a damn mess because he’s him, but from a strictly physicalperspective he’s kind of like the protagonist in some Victorian-era suspensenovel. He’s got the kind of physique that she’d come across in books andfantasy, but not in real life so now she’s run into someone who looks andsounds like that. And has a damned heavenlysinging voice. Honor is outside of the realm of anyone she thought would everactually encounter, much less interact with regularly. Which would be enough tojust relegate him to the realm of “Okay, y’know, if sex came up I’d maybeconsider it”, but what’s bigger is the fact that he’s a genuinely caring person.

He lost his cool with her not because he’d gotten sick ofher, Honor snapped at Walani because she got herself hurt and he was freakingout over it because it was bad. Like, really really bad. Thenhe has to go and do something crazy like not let her die and when she calls himon it like “You know, a lot of people would have seriously just let me bite it”it’s like he can’t even fathom ever doing that to her. He sends her off to gouse his supplies and hide out at a safe camp to run off from hounds and thenthis? Homeboy is creating a pattern of selfless acts of “I don’t want anythingbad to happen to you” all set across the backdrop of an environment that couldmake Mother Theresa crack. The Constant is NOT the kind of place where beingkind and self-sacrificing gets rewarded at all.

And yet. Here we are.

So, flash forward to the ACTUAL QUESTION you sat throughalmost seven hundred words worth of rambling to get to: yes. Yes yes yes. Onethousand times yes. Over time Honor has gone from “Guy I could have fantasiesabout” to “Person I might consider having sex with if it ever came up” to “No,seriously, when I ever have sex I want my first time to be with this person.”

Which, of course, takes us back to DELIGHTFUL ANGST AVENUE:she’s thoroughly convinced that it isn’t going to happen, and that it isoutside of the realm of possibility because of a great big ball of self-doubtand internalized societal crap. Why would he want her? She’s a poor girl who was raised in a time where interracialrelations, not to mention cross-class relations, weren’t really somethingpeople smiled upon. There’s a lot of internalized BS that comes with that.

There’s more than a hand full of reasons why she went O_O “Ishould NOT have done that” after she kissed him. Anyway!

TL;DR: Yessssss shewould be over-the-moon if he got to be the first person she had sex with, but she has a hard time thinking it’s possible because being a young Hawaiian lady inthe 1920’s is not a good place to learn to be progressive in matters of romance.

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quintes-sin-tial · 7 years ago

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Could u answer all of the true tickle story questions????

Good lord time to die! O_O I’ll put this under “read more” since it’s gonna be long.

1. The hardest you’ve ever laughed from being tickled. (I think a lot of these are going to be stories with my ex..rip) So this was when he got me back from tickling him while camping. He sat on my legs while I was face down and tickled my hips which is when we discovered that was my death spot.

2. A time your reaction to the tiniest touch made someone surprised at how ticklish you were. Last night lolol when my date ran his hand across my tummy and I flinched.

3. A time your dramatic reaction to be tickled more intensively surprised someone and made them comment/tease you. I honestly can’t think of one sorry.

4. Someone of the same gender-identity tickled you. Pretty much the only time this happens is when my friends tickle my neck because they think my reaction is funny.

5. Someone of a different gender-identity tickled you. Any boyfriend I’ve ever had has tickled me so there’s lots of stories haha. But one of my favorites is when my first boyfriend completely wrapped me up in his arms and legs and tickled me all over my upper body while saying “you can’t moooove!” I think that’s when I actually realized I liked being tickled XD

6. A time tickling stopped too soon. I mean every time hahaha. But I guess last night too. I wish we hadn’t been in a movie theater because I would have instigated SO much more lol.

7. A time tickling went on longer than you wanted it to. Literally never XD #LeeTrashAF

8. A time someone held down your feet and tickled them. I can’t really remember. I don’t like my feet being tickled, so those stories aren’t very memorable haha. I mean my ex tickled my feet sometimes, but I would actually try to get away because I don’t like it much. So then he’d go for my upper body because I didn’t/couldn’t fight him much with that.

9. A time you were trying unbelievably hard not to react and succeeded. I actually try to over-react when a cute boy is tickling me honestly haha. Don’t get me wrong, I’m really ticklish (but shut up I didn’t say that), but I do tend to try to give more of a reaction than a normal person would because I want them to find it funny and do it more. Worked last night hahaha

10. A time you were trying unbelievably hard not to react and failed. Same as number 9 pretty much.

11. The most intense unintentional tickling you’ve ever endured. Whenever I’m cuddling with someone and they lightly drag their hand anywhere on my body. I always end up laughing or flinching and then get asked that awful question, “does that tickle!?” asldfkja;sdf

12. The most embarrassing tickling experience you’ve had. Umm maybe when my ex was trying to tickle me and I knocked his glasses off his face and broke them asdfalksd rip

13. A time you were tickled in front of people. On Halloween last year, a bunch of people were over at my ex’s house and he and I were cuddling on the couch and he started wrecking my shit with people in the room and my face was so red good lord.

14. A time someone/something unintentionally tickled your foot. Dunno!

15. A time someone asked if you were ticklish. LAST NIGHT ALKSDJA I made a post about it today.

16. A time you tried to pretend you weren’t ticklish. Maybe if like someone I don’t want tickling me is trying to tickle me. I can kind of turn off my ticklishness if I’m uncomfy.

17. A time you tried to get yourself tickled. Literally any time I’m with a cute guy XD Last night I tried to get my date to tickle me more by over-reacting to him tickling me and also tickling him when he sat on me to be annoying haha

18. A time you witnessed someone else being tickled. Omg when two of my friends were dating, one was sitting on the other who was laying down and started tickling her while he said, “Tickling is fuuuuun!” and like....jesus alskdjfa

19. A time you were tickled and truly hated it. When I was dating this one dickhead (who was actually my first boyfriend but I don’t really count him because it was just a mess and I try to forget about him), he would hug me at school and tickle me really hard and I couldn’t get away. I felt so uncomfortable because people were everywhere and he wouldn’t listen to me when I said stop. He also bruised me because he tickled my ribs so hard....

20. Your most ticklish pedicure. They’ve never tickled me actually.

21. A time a massage tickled you. Never had a professional one and any massage I‘ve gotten from like an ex never tickled me haha

22. A time you were tickled in a public setting. LAST NIGHT AGAIN IN THE DAMN MOVIE THEATER. THAT PUNK XD

23. Your most ticklish moment at the doctor’s. Never had one.

24. A time you were asked to take off your shoes and it made you legitimately nervous. Never

25. A time someone told someone else about how ticklish you are. Before my two friends I mentioned earlier started dating, he was tickling her and then goes, “is (my real name) ticklish?” and she was like, “yes! she is!” and they both attacked me alskdjf

26. A time someone tickled your toes. Never

27. A time you kicked or punched someone while being tickled, or came close. I kneed my ex where the sun don’t shine once....oops

28. A time your most ticklish spot was tickled. Mentioned earlier! When my ex was getting revenge on me from the camping tickles.

29. A time a spot you didn’t even know was ticklish or thought wasn’t that ticklish made you laugh. My ex would run his fingers up and down my arms and it seriously killed! I had to tell him to stop because I was about to burst out laughing.

30. A time someone pulled your shoes off and tickled your feet. Never

31. A time you were tickled in front of a person you were dating/in a relationship with. Can’t think of one.

32. A time you tickled someone only to bait them into tickling you back. So many different stories for this one haha. But the most memorable one was when I wrecked my ex while camping and he threatened that he was going to get me back, but I didn’t know when or how or how long he was going to tickle me back. But for months he would bring it up and make me nervous and when he finally got me back I was DECEASED. There’s a post about it on my blog somewhere.

33. A time someone (who didn’t know you are into tickling) teased you in person about how ticklish you are. LAST NIGHT AGAIN. When he ran his hand across my tummy and made fun of me every time I’d flinch and squirm aklsdjf

34. A time when tickling/being ticklish came up casually in conversation with a group of friends. What were people saying and how did you react? I really can’t remember one :/

35. A time you were “air-tickled.” I’m not sure what this is I’m sorry haha

36. A time you had no choice but to admit your ticklishness. AGAIN. LAST NIGHT. WHEN HE ASKED. AND I WAS ALREADY SQUIRMING AND LAUGHING LASJDAS;D

Okay so I'm not a ler or switch, so I’m gonna leave the other asks be haha. Good lord this took forever, but thank you to everyone who was so curious about my life XD

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hersheyskisses81 · 8 years ago

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Been Too LOOOOONG!!.... and my fan account of B.A.P Party Boom LA! *it’s LOOOOOONG*

Hello everyone!!! Hope you’re all doing well. Sorry, it’s been so crazy, that I haven’t really been able to do much if anything at all on Tumblr. Things are starting to slow down & I missed ya’ll.... If you still remember me :) I had to catch ya’ll up on what happened. I’ve changed jobs & moved all for the better, much, much happier with all of that, but it’s had me busy!!!!

Ok, so I HAVE to give my fan account of Party Boom LA, most in the chatrooms for @mjupnet already know. So my bestie Hana & I are checking into our hotel Sat around 3pm, I see a black mercedes sprinter van pull up & I tapped her shoulder thinking, could this be B.A.P? But I noticed that on the side it said tours, so I turned back around & told her never mind, as she was checking in. Less than what felt like a min later, I turned back around for kicks & I noticed the 1st person off the sprinter because of his bucket hat, it was BANG YONGGUK!!!!!! So my heart skips & I try to get my friends attention (without looking crazy) she keeps telling me hold on. she FINALLY turns around & just nods her head & bugs her eyes a bit, but we’re trying SO hard to stay composed! By this point, now Zelo & Himchan have come in, while Yongguk & Jongup stood outside talking, then their manager & about 3 staff come in and stand right behind us for the check in counter. At this time, we haven’t seen Youngjae or Daehyun, but we’re DYING inside B.A.P IS IN OUR HOTEL!!!!! We’re trying to stay calm & not freak out (until we got to our room) The clerk couldn’t take ANY longer than he did, asking us about all of these upgrades!

Himchan, Zelo & 2 of their staff were headed towards the elevator, at the same point that we had to go up as well, but I was tooooo chicken to take the same elevator, sadly (what a fail) Hana still picks on me for this! I’m pretty sure if it was Yongguk & Jongup, I would’ve no hesitation, but they were still outside talking. We go to our room & SCREAM freaking out that we’re in the same hotel. There was a pool party & we raced to change & go chill, hoping that B.A.P would also be there. In the elevator, some of who we later learner where their staff were in their too & asked where we were going, we spoke of the pool party & they said they wished they could join, we told them they should, but they had to take care of some things for a special event the next day (we knew what it was ^_^) so we REALLY thought B.A.P would be there now. We lounged, the DJ was awesome, tons of ppl were there, but NO B.A.P, but we made an agreement, that since we fly to LA, this isn’t just for B.A.P, but also for us to have a vacation! SO we still enjoyed ourselves, had a yummy cocktail & then decided to go eat after about 2.5hrs. We head out to valet to get our rental car & as we’re sitting there, Youngjae walks right past us, I tapped Hana and then we see a few staff, there all headed to their van parked on the side. Then my eyes were blessed, Jongup walks past, a few times actually! it was pretty funny, he seemed so lost, yet adorable! I think after the 3rd time, I giggled, so he looked over, then smiled & waved. LOL! Hana had to go in & ask how late the pool & office would stay open, when she turned around, Himchan was just sitting in the lobby. So she greeted him in Korean, told him that we’d be at their concert the next night & hope they enjoyed their time & get to relax. He thanked her & was so kind, even when he walked out the door he greeted me & said thank you. Out walked Jongup again yelling HYUNG!! and Himchan happily waited for Jongup to catch up.

We were hoping our car would take longer, as Yongguk & Daehyun hadn’t come out. But NOPE, our car came & we didn’t want to just sit there, as we had to get food, etc... So as we drove off we waved & they waved back. We finished up what we were doing, came back changed again to go out at night, the lobby turns into a cool lounge w/ an awesome dj! So we chilled there, but my friend loves AOMG, and was like Bound LA is lit, we need to try that out & we can always come back. As we finished up our drink we were walking out, I see this guy sitting on the lounge chair & I said to Hana, wow, now HE’S beautiful, he looks up & smiles & it’s JUNG DAEHYUN, I wanted to die, but just smiled, but my heald down & walk faster to Bound LA (popular Korean club) But was annoyed, thinking he was going to chill in the lounge & possibly w/ other members... ie Yongguk & Jongup. But Hana was like I REALLY want to go & we can always come back. Well, thanks to coachella, what usually is LIT was not at all, there were probably 10ppl ttl inside. But we were like, more dance floor for us, met some cool ppl, had a drink & then decided after more dancing we’d leave & head back. We decided on another drink, as the bartender was really good & were just chilling there enjoying the music, Hana was facing the door & my back was towards it, but I saw her face & I knew..... we weren’t alone. Himchan, Jongup, Daehyun & Yongguk walk in & immediately go to a booth, they were probably as shocked as we were w/ how empty it was! But we knew then, WE WERE NOT LEAVING!!!!!! So we went back on the dance floor, now with about 5 other ppl & just had fun, not caring who was watching, (it’s was so empty, it was hard not to notice, but we ust had fun) But soon we once again got hungry, haha & after a few hours left & headed to BCD tofu house. We changed into comfy clothes, were chilling there & in walks Daehyun & their manager. A few min later Jongup and another staff member, no Yongguk or Himchan. And they were seated 1 table away, behind us on the right. because of a couple guys near us getting a little annoying, their Manager positioned himself to see & watch us (so nice) and made eyes w/ Hana (she was facing them) to make sure we were ok. They also alerted the waiters as well that were helping us all. The night calmed down & soon they left and us about 30 min later.

By this point, if you’ve even read to this point, you’re wondering why we haven’t approached them more. Well, there were girls that stayed at our hotel ALL DAY for a glimpse of them. We didn’t want to be clumped into that group as those type of fans, in fact if we got stopped by some to ask if we saw them, we’d give opposite directions! Some of the staff (we didn’t know at the time) we’re in the elevator & some young girls asked if we’ve seen B.A.P... We told them, no (even thought we had JUST saw Himchan walk in) Soon we heard thank you, turned around & it was their staff, appreciative of how we handled it, we explained while we’re fans, we want them to enjoy & relax, they seemed shocked!

Ok, so on to Sunday, still reading? almost done.... We assumed the boys were doing soundcheck in the am, blah blah blah & decided to just do our thing per usual, I was craving neng myun & we went to our fav place, as we waited for the car Himchan & one of the photographers walked up from getting juice (nope, not coffee) At this pt, we’ve bumped into him the most, Jongup 2nd, Daehyun 3rd Yongguk 4th, And only 1 time saw Youngjae and Zelo when we 1st checked in. Zelo had posted the brunch at our hotel & we assumed after that they left. We came back to the hotel after eating, changed & decided to chill by the pool. Hana wanted to in the sun & I wanted to chill in the shade, so I laid on the chairs. The music was really chill, had a nice summer vibe going (pineapple vodka in my hand) I was grooving & then an old school song came on & ppl starting reacting. In particular, me & a guy next to me, so we looked at each other & smiled, I kept my cool, but that guy was ZELO!!! I smiled back and laid back down, then texted my friend saying Zelo was 2 chairs away from me, so she made her way over! LOL but we still left him alone, he had 1 staff member with him, it was their translator for the US leg of the tour. We just wanted him to enjoy, so we left him alone.Even at one pt, his staff left & Zelo was just by himself about 1/2 hr, we almost felt protective of him, HE IS A PRECIOUS GUMDROP and sooo adorable, tall 7 very pale, ppl they are NOT whitewashing him.... the others, YES!!!. We did get to meet Yongguk, Himchan & Jongup last year, we even got to talk a bit more to them then honestly. While we didn’t get a photo w/them, this meant the world to both of us, we saw them & saw them A LOT, but as THEMSELVES, not B.A.P! Let me tell you, They’re beyond beautiful w/out makeup & beyond nice, they also were very appreciative with how we let them be & even shielded them from some fans. But I think they thought we really weren’t fans, since we didn’t “act” like normal ones..... so when High touch came & we were in the last 10ppl to do high touch, the look on their faces... O_O... & their reactions PRICELESS... We knew, they knew then we were fans & it all clicked! They wen’t to another spot for dinner after the concert & left in the afternoon the next day (Mon, we left Tues)they actually did late check out, due to the amount of fans waiting in the lobby :(.. and just probably tired.

This was a trip we’ll NEVER forget & I hope they’ll remember it as fondly was we do & that we get to see them again next year!!!

IF you read this, you deserve a medal!!!! <3

#My Fan Account #Party Boom LA #B.A.P #BAPnet #Matoki Network #LOE 2017 #We still can't even believe how much we saw them on this trip #at one point we'd begin laughing & waving at each other #lol #Hana & I had the best time #and we didn't have to run around #we chilled & enjoyed ourselves.#I am just glad we were always there 1st!!!!!#We still can't stop smiling #I'm proud that we handled ourselves the way we did

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