#this was just the nail in the badly written coffin

[hideoussundemon]

PSA for any writers who need to hear this, having a character finally remove themselves from a toxic relationship that naerly drove them to suicide, letting them learn how to enjoy life again and love and be love outside of the narrow world they had been living in for so long, and then killing them anyway to further the emotional arc of the person they were in a toxic relationship in is not, in fact, narratively satisfying at all

[grapejuicestyless]

can you do a conrad fic based on sad, beautiful, tragic by t.s.?

Sad, Beautiful, Tragic.

Conrad Fisher x fem!reader

Summery: Y/n is young, naive but not stupid. Conrad had made one too many empty promises for even her to continue believing.

My feet stood cemented on the pavement, stuck to the grounds that lingered in deadly details of him, but never us. Not now, not ever.

I felt like an idiot, showing up now, so late. A random autumn night in Boston. The streets in the city still bustling with life, longing for the scents of pumpkin spice and apple cider. The further into the suburbs you drove, the quieter it grew. The trees became plentiful, black streets becoming canvases of orange and yellow.

We weren’t right. It was obvious. Laurel reprimanded me for this, my great attempts to salvage what little we had left between us. A dwindling flame, a broken glass spilling wine across a pearl white table cloth. She called me a fool, too blinded by what I wanted to work so badly in my head that I refused what was being presented right in front of me.

His snide remarks with his school friends, all much smarter than I. They knew it. I was never a prodigy, a prospect, gifted. Each dig was minor, easily brushed away like dust on the pages of a forgotten story page. But Conrad always had a way with his words, a tongue that made even the kindest comments come out like daggers. Backhanded and cruel, aimed at the naive.

Gullible was never written on the ceiling yet each time he smiled and pointed I looked. I was a scarlet thread, wrapped tightly around his thumb.

When the door opened, Susannah greeted me with a sad smile. Her eyes spoke a thousand sentences, pleading for me to leave, walk away while I still could. But Conrad had promised, promised that if I just gave him one more chance it would be different.

And I believed him. I believed him because when I met him, he was a good man. Shy, sweet, observant. He was charming, and god he was always handsome. The Conrad I fell for never lied to me. If we disagreed, it was quickly resolved.

Now it seemed like each phone call was just another nail in the coffin. Another reason flying by, red flags blowing in the wind begging me to follow, to leave. It was walking on eggshells, fragile. I was clumsy and they broke. I sit alone in my room sometimes, phone beeping to its death, hanging off my shoulder and I forget. I forget all the reasons I am fighting, what I am fighting for.

But then he comes back, just like he always does. A vicious cycle. He throws daggers at my deepest hurts, freshest wounds to have the pleasure to watch me crumble within his grasp. And when I’m too weak to stand, he lifts me back up. Suddenly, my stomach aches, I want to throw up. It’s bubbling up my throat, the guilt is eating at me until I am nothing. How could I ever even forget how wonderful this man is to me, how could I ever want to leave? I wipe my memory of all the nights I spend crying on the floor. We never speak of it, what we’re doing, but the guilty look in his eyes tells me he knows. We both do. I sleep on the floor for another week, I can’t move. I am paralyzed by my heavy heart, a locket around my neck. It’s golden, decorated in whimsical swirls. A picture of Conrad stays with me always, I clench in my fist. I want to rip it off, watch the chain scatter. It weighs me down, I can barely breathe.

I am a good girl, I don’t fight. I stay quiet while Conrad fights himself. I don’t buy into his attempts to work me up anymore. I know that with him, with us, we are destined to see storms. I know better now that once they pass, the sky will clear and the tragedy of it all will fade away. So I wait. I always wait for that moment of clarity. I refuse to think when I’m so worked up.

It’s sad, and it’s beautiful and oh so tragic, the way we dance around each other. How hours ago I was standing outside his door, regretting my naivety, trying to salvage us. Now I sit in his living room, waiting for him with my legs crossed. The melodic ticking of the clock alerts me of the time. I’m cold, my nose is rosy. I let the house capture me in its warm blanket. A sacred place of safety, I smell Susannah, I smell my mother. I see Belly’s old pictures on the wall in frames and Stevens gifts to Jeremiah and Conrad.

“Y/n/n, hey.” His voice is airy, lips pressed to my temple. I didn’t even hear him coming in the deafening ringing of silence in my ears. My eyes shift to his face, but I cannot move.

“Hi Con.” My voice is coarse, tired. It’s so late, my eyes hurt from being open so long. His arms wrap around me as the couch dips beside my thighs. He’s so warm, so gentle now, I find myself drifting away again. Getting lost in the calm, I forget about how devastating the storm was. I haven’t even picked up all my discarded pieces yet. Somehow, I manage to keep giving away more and more, even now. I am not sure how I can afford this.

Our conversation is warm, long. He talks about school and I talk about mine. With us being alone, I miss any snide comments or judgmental stares. He is so much kinder without the influence of others. He is almost the same man I grew up loving.

“You’ll still visit me, won’t you?” He pleads innocently. The look in his eyes is genuine, I almost crumble. A sharp intake of air is stuck in my throat, my brain becomes re-wired.

I remember the sad looks from Susannah, the fights with my mother. I remember how disappointed Belly was when I left again. How Steven yelled and fought until I was gone. Everyone in my life sees it in a bad light and I still managed to miss it.

Suddenly the golden chain around my neck feels heavy again. It hurts my skin, it’s burning the back of my neck. I hold it in my hand, it’s still heavy in my palm.

“Y/n?” His hand is on my thigh, I can’t breathe. My chest heaves, my throat is burning. There’s a lump stuck in my throat. It’s expanding and my eyes hurt. I’m tired, I’m sick, I’m sad.

Standing up, his hands drop from my lap. I close my eyes so I don’t have to look at him anymore. I can feel my lip quivering while I suck in a harsh breath. My eyebrows are furrowed, fists clenched.

“Y/n, hey, baby…” He cooed at me, palm pressing to my cheek. I am inconsolable, irrevocably damaged. Too lost in our beauty to remember the tragedy, the sadness that defines us. That is us.

“Conrad, I’m leaving.” It comes out sticky. Quiet other than my sniffles and his breathing.

“You just got here, did…have I done something?” I feel his hands slip down to my elbows. He holds me in place son the carpet. It hurts, not because he’s holding too tight, but because his touch burns.

“No, Conrad.” My eyes open, I search his blue ones. I get lost in our deep they are, collecting my thoughts. I feel trapped.

“I can’t do this anymore. I can’t. If I stay any longer I’m afraid I won’t ever leave.” His face is blank until it isn’t. It’s shifting, contorting into something that looks incredibly confused, pained.

“What, what are you saying?” His voice is less calm now, raising. Not quiet reaching the level of desperation I can see building inside of him already.

“It’s a cycle, Con, can’t you see it? We’re toxic and it’s sick because we are the ones letting it be this way. We fight but we never talk. You promise me you’ll get better but you never do! I’m tired of trying to be alright when I’m around you! You don’t make me feel good.” It’s off my chest, yet he hasn’t comprehended any of it.

“Y/n, please. We can work through it, right? I love you, I do. Please just, please. I love you, you have to love me. It doesn’t just go away like that, I love you.” He’s crying now. His blue eyes clouded in a dark overcast. He makes me feel guilty. All self respect I have is gone, and suddenly I’m back in his arms.

My head finds its place on his shoulder, I tuck my face into his neck. Not to be close, but because I feel to ashamed to show it after falling so quickly under his mind games.

Silently, I agree with him. Of course I still love him, I always will. So I stay, a fool who got so close, but remained so far away. He presses another kiss to the side of my head and tells me I won’t regret it. When I wake up alone in his bed, cold the next morning, I know I’ve been blinded to another empty promise. It’s so hard to stay when he’s mean, but it’s even harder when he’s sweet. So I pack my things quietly and leave. I won’t visit him at school. Not until he comes home will we see each other again.

Oddly enough, the thought doesn’t drain me. I don’t dread never seeing him for weeks on end. I don’t regret not choosing somewhere closer to get an education simply to be near him. I am relieved he will be gone. My heart keeps beating.

It’s barely a month before I’m stood back in front of him. Only now the carpet is cold cement and his living room is the train tracks. He is in Boston, he’ll never leave. He tries his hardest to get me to stay. He’s the nicest I’ve ever seen him. He’s persuasive, but in our time apart he doesn’t know I see it less as a genuine feeling from him and more as a twisted tactic of manipulation.

“We can settle down, we’re almost out of college. Just me and you and it’ll be great. If you’d only give us another chance.” He pleads, hands not yet on my skin, but he’s so close. I can feel his warm breath on my skin.

“I don’t want that anymore, Conrad.” I try to be kind about it, I try and blame my distance on myself. It is me who is trying so desperately to break things off. He’ll never know it was his cold heart that shattered our beautiful love. But it’s helpless, he won’t stop.

“Then we’ll travel the world. Y/n, I don’t care, I just want to be with you!” He tries again. Yet all his words are the exact same. He’s not even trying to understand me, I feel like screaming.

“No, no.” I reaffirm. I won’t look at him because it hurts me too much. I know if I look at him I’ll stay again. My chest is closing in on me, I can’t help but reach to hold onto it. My pinky grazes the same locket when I do. It’s dainty, but gorgeous. There’s stacks of photos within it. Mostly of Conrad, but a few of my family underneath.

“I’m not understanding, Y/n. I don’t get it?” He’s desperate, the train is coming. Once it pulls up to the platform, if he hasn’t convinced me one last time to stay, I’ll be forever gone. It’s the final fight, we can feel it.

“All we do is fight, Conrad. I can’t fight anymore. I tried to end it earlier and you promised me it would work out, it would stop but it hasn’t! And I can’t do it anymore.” My hands rest on the bends of his elbows. I hold him close, I look into his eyes finally, I want him to understand me, I beg for him to understand me.

“Then let me fix it. Let me make it better, Y/n. Anything, I’ll do anything I just can’t-don’t walk away.” My pleads are deaf on his ears. He doesn’t care about what I want, and it’s apparent now that he never did. He’s selfish, so he only takes. He wants me but he hates to have to deal with me.

“Conrad, stop!” He’s ranting, my voice is loud over his. A few people turn their heads. It’s so late in the evening, they’re only passing. Ready to go home.

My eyes shift around until everyone has gone back to their own business. The breath that leave my chest is heavy, harsh but quick.

“Please, Con. Please just try and listen to me.” My voice is breaking. Not because my leaving is breaking my heart, but because I am tired. I am tired of staying, of being so weak. I am wasting my youth on a boy who hasn’t matured yet. I deserve more, I crave it.

“There’s no amount of fixing either of us could do to mend whatever’s happened between us. We lost it a long time ago. And I’ll always love you, how could I not? You’re everything to me. But you’re not mine anymore, and I can’t be yours.” My hands slip from his skin to my chest. I try an even out my breathing, again I am reminded of my necklace. It feels wrong to still wear his picture around my neck when I’ve already let him go.

Unclasping it slowly, I let the gold gather in my palm. It’s warm from where it touched my skin. It’s rusting form how often it’s been worn, and my neck feels lighter. I ball up my fist, taking his hand over my other one steadily.

When he feels the warmth mixing with the coolness of the pendant, I can see him giving up. He nods, swallowing hard.

When the train comes, I wave goodbye to him one last time. He’s frozen, hand still holding the locket out and eyes still sad. I wonder how long he’ll stay there, I never see him move even as the train pulls away from the station.

………………………………………………………………………………….

The whirring of the train passing is accompanied by the occasional blowing of its horn. It’s deafening against the heavy silence that’s consumed me. There’s not even a crunch of a leaf to break it. Now that she’s gone, it’s settled in how I’m truly alone. I’ve blown it.

I wait for her to be out of sight. The caboose nothing more than a small speck in the horizon. The moon is high, the wind is chilling. It’s nearly winter in Boston, yet the weather is no where near as cold as my bones. I curl my fingers over her locket, bringing my knuckles to my lips, I breathe over it.

It doesn’t even smell like her. It’s a sad souvenir of pity. She didn’t want me, I’m certain she only gave it to me because she didn’t want a reminder of me either.

I stuff it into my pocket slowly, fingers feeling around the rough cotton of my pants. It sits snug at the bottom of it, right beside the long, handwritten note I prepared for her.

I knew I had my own demons, I know I was a mess. I treated her horribly, I gambled away our love. But this time I was serious. I wanted to fix it. I wanted to make it better.

My words meant little to nothing now. There were no amount of promises I could make when I was already too late.

[tenebriskukris]

Oshi No Ko Chapter 163 - My Thoughts/Analysis

Three chapters before the end. I don’t expect anything more than a horribly written, badly paced mess of a final few chapters by this point, but maybe the manga will surprise me. By being even worse than I’ve come to anticipate.

Interesting way to start off the chapter. We’re back with Goro for some reason? And Sarina after what is likely some surgery? This definitely didn’t actually happen. It almost reeks of a happy “what-if” scenario right here.

The next few panels seem to solidify that. It’s some sort of delusional happy ending for Sarina and Goro. Neither of them were so lucky in their fates so as to almost get everything they wanted.

Sarina recovering and becoming a B-Koamchi idol alongside Ai…it’s cute and all, but I’m more interested in the why this is being shown rather than marvel at this pitiful attempt at moving the reader’s heartstrings. I’d be more willing to engage with the narrative and have more sympathy for everyone involved here except for the fact that all these recent chapters have just eroded my ability to care with some of the worst writing that I’ve seen in a piece of media since the later seasons of Game of Thrones. Actually no, that’s an insult to GoT—at the very least the earlier seasons of that show were actually good, while as much as people harp on about the earlier parts of OnK, that much is mostly because the anime carried its mediocre story.

Is this a dream? And now we’re back with Aqua and Crow Girl. Are we deus ex machena-ing now?

The world is a virtual image created by observation. Not everything is true. It’s like the world looked completely different before and after you were reborn. Crow Girl is Literally Just Saying Words. It’s so unsubstantial that it feels like I’m chewing on air. These words don’t even fucking relate to this entire dream sequence at large!

In the end, who was I? Are we going to finally get the nail in the coffin for people who don’t want to believe that Aqua=Goro?

Was this actually the wrong choice? AQUA YOU LITERALLY HAD TIME TO CONSIDER THIS POSSIBILITY WHEN YOU PLANNED THIS DOUBLE SUICIDE BULLSHIT. If you were hesitant in leaving everyone else behind, you could’ve, you know, not fucking went after Hikaru after Nino was captured? If he feels sad over leaving people behind there are so many ways for him to survive these contrived series of events that I’m sorry, Aqua you’ve done fucked up. He’s had more than enough time to plan out a series of events that doesn’t end with him dying, so Aqua “regretting” that he might’ve caused more trouble with his actions is just so stupid that it kills my suspension of disbelief faster than Goro falling to his death in the first chapter. 

Through reincarnation, you possessed Goro Amamiya’s memories and will [...] however within your body there are genetic factors that were inherited from Ai and Kamiki. Interesting that she doesn’t mention the concept of a soul here, but everything related to Crow Girl is just a nonsensical thematic mess half the time. Considering that she said that Ai’s children were soulless in one of her first appearances I’m surprised that people take these words to mean that Aqua=/= Goro when the rebuttal to that argument is given so early on in the manga.

This entire bit of Crow Girl hugging Aqua and holding his face and such…I dunno. I don’t quite know how to feel about it? What’s with all this sympathy for Aqua when she was sitting on the fence and giving out breadcrumbs to Aqua and Ruby? If she cared enough to stop this scenario she could’ve easily pulled enough strings as a fucking god to save him, since she is Right There to keep Aqua from dying. I would say that it’s almost out of character, but that gives this series too much credit because Crow Girl is more of a plot device rather than an actual character.

The rest of these scenes are nice except they feel too much like throwing a pity party when Everything that came before it was just so shite that this payoff tastes cheap. I’m supposed to feel emotions coming from this scene, but all I can think of is how fucking stupid these last few chapters were if this was the end result of that entire clusterfuck. It doesn’t hit its mark by a long shot. 

That was all of you, Aqua Hoshino. And with that, all that is left is the keychain. I’m sure that Ruby’s going to be holding onto that keychain for dear life alongside Aqua himself soon enough.

That’s it??? There are—were—four chapters in this blasted manga to get through and THIS is one of those chapters??? As heartbreaking and or heartwarming as this chapter was, it could’ve easily been folded into the last one simply because there wasn’t much substance from this chapter or the last! Hell, even putting that aside, with only a handful of chapters left in the series this chapter should’ve been focused on something more substantial rather than deal with character beats that should’ve been very well established beforehand!

Let’s get down to business. Do I think Aqua is going to live after this chapter? My answer hasn’t changed since the last chapter, but I do have more thoughts to give on it now that this chapter’s dropped.

There are only three more chapters left in this bloody series. Three chapters to wrap up the story as we know it so far. As much as I greatly dislike the way Aqua’s revenge plot has panned out, with Hikaru pretty much down for the count as of this chapter, I think plotline that much has been dealt with. That only leaves a couple of loose ends to wrestle with. If the manga is keeping up this breakneck pace to the end, then I do think it’s possible to wrap this whole mess up. It won’t be the best way to do so by a long shot, but it’ll certainly end. There’s just one thing that I think has to be addressed in the span of these final chapters.

An author has a responsibility to wrap up loose threads when a series inevitably gets closer to the ending. While this series has dispensed with many, many small plot threads that have headed nowhere in order to sprint towards the end of the manga, there is one plotline that I believe needs to be dealt with before the series concludes. The issue of Aqua and his love interests. For better or worse, this plotline has defaulted to one of, if not the main hook of the series since the revenge plot has been so shallow throughout a good majority of the series.

There needs to be a clear “winner” for the Aquabowl, so to speak. 

While fans on all sides will point to various chapters and say, Aqua has romantic feelings for Kana, or, Aqua wants to rekindle his relationship with Akane, or Aqua loves Ruby, the sheer fact that multiple of these interpretations exist within the context of the series itself this close to the ending needs to be addressed. Love triangles often soak the reader with intrigue and suspense before being dispensed of later down the line after it has served its narrative purpose. If the series isn’t going to pivot towards an open ending, then that needs to be addressed before the end.

Killing Aqua off here would render all that utterly meaningless. It would be unsatisfying in a way that would forever damn it simply because of the fact that it’s the equivalent of pushing the reader’s face into a plate of shit and the author saying, “Wow! That’s a good ending because it made you feel bad!”, when after such an event the reader would like nothing more than to refund the time investment they had in said media. It’s daft. It’s insulting. It is essentially telling the fans that all of the time they spent with this character and the romance angle—doubly so because of the fact that this little romance angle had little to no plot relevance for the vast majority of the series—was worth less than nothing because Aqua was going to die all along—and he even didn’t die dramatically, either, though maybe that would’ve softened the blow, but he died in a horribly executed confrontation that culminated in a half baked dream sequence where there were more than a handful of ways for him to come out of it alive.

While there are media that can intentionally make an unsatisfying ending work, with how these past few chapters have been, such an ending would likely fall flat for an abundance of reasons—but since we’re just talking hypotheticals, I won’t make any sweeping statements just yet.

Of course, all of this assumes that the authors are, you know, making good narrative decisions. The buckshot pacing and flow of the last ten, twenty, even thirty chapters have just been a complete garbage heap in quality. There are many things I can feel in predicting within a series that’s still ongoing thanks to performing enough media analysis and understanding how stories like OnK are structured as well as the tropes therein.

What I cannot predict are the authors making irrational(read: BAD) decisions and or torching the media and running. It’s why I was so vehemently against the idea that Akane wearing a fucking wig and disguising herself as Ruby to fool Nino. It’s why having both Aqua and Akane independently coming to the conclusion that Yura was murdered was such a surprise to me. It’s why Aqua meeting Crow Girl offscreen wasn’t something that I’d seriously considered before I read that chapter.

These are, quite frankly, objectively bad decisions. I’d made my disdain for these narrative beats known many, many times throughout my various analyses as well as given my reasoning for Why these decisions are bad, so I’m not going to go over them again, but suffice it to say that these are the type of plot beats that high school teachers tell their students what NOT to do. And yet they happened nonetheless.

I can only predict what a competent author that tries to give payoff to the various plot threads in a piece of media can attempt to do next. What I cannot predict, however, is someone who is haphazardly throwing plot threads and beats around like crumbs throughout the manga with little to no intention of following them up satisfyingly or has any desire to actually pace these chapters with any degree of competence. It’s the equivalent of asking a sane person to try to wrap one’s head around the mind of someone that’s on some of the hardest drugs in the world. There’s literally no use in doing so because both parties have fundamentally different thought processes. The fact that this slop is being published must mean that the editors for this literal godforsaken series must be high, drunk, or are being blackmailed. It’s an insult to all of the actual good manga writers out there that don’t even get a speck of popularity that this series has garnered.

That leads me to my next point. It’s also completely possible that Aqua just fucking dies here. It’d be a horrible decision, don’t get me wrong, but it'd be completely on brand for the series which has already made so many poor choices this close to the end. It’d just be one final shit pie to eat after the author cooked a buffet of garbage.

If that’s the case, I’d expect Ruby following Aqua soon after. Sad, I know, but that girl literally made it her mission to kill Hikaru after she found out that Goro was dead and was willing to go to lengths that Aqua just wasn’t in order to get her revenge. Losing the person she cares about most after finding out he was alive all along only for him to fucking die again??? I wouldn’t be surprised if Ruby just walks into the sea after she hears the news.

Completely unsubstantiated thought that just crossed my mind. Calling it now. Aqua and Ruby both die in the next handful of chapters before they reincarnate once more and then meet each other. It’d be almost an inverse of that whole, “two lovers that committed double suicide get reincarnated as twins” Japanese superstition that I’ve seen talked about. That’d be a godawful ending but we’re already scraping the bottom of the bucket with this series. I wouldn’t put it past this series. It is on the table, after all.

Three chapters left. I’ve lost all hopes for a good ending for the series for some time now, so I’m just sitting on the rollercoaster waiting for the ride to finally come to a close.

[jamdoughnutmagician]

Paint It Black.

Eddie Munson x Reader

Word Count:676

Summary:You show Eddie just how metal it is to paint your nails.

Warnings:Nothing, unless you count badly written fluff as a warning?

Authour’s Note:I guess I just wanted to write something cute and fluffy with Eddie since I don’t write fluff like this all too often? 

Eddie struggled to concentrate on his guitar, where he was supposed to be learning a new song for Corroded Coffin, however his attention had been completely diverted to where you were sat on his bedroom floor admiring your freshly dried manicured nails. You had painted your fingers in a vivid shade of red, an enticing colour that had certainly caught his eye.

 “Looks pretty, Sugar” he tells you from where he’s sat on bed.

“Thanks, Teddy” you beamed back at him. 

Eddie smiled back at you, hearing the pet name slip from your pretty lips. He’d swear he was a tough guy in front of all his friends, but one mention of the nickname from you and he was putty in your hands. 

You noticed how Eddie was still eyeing your freshly painted nails with curiosity. 

“Hey, Teddy..” you catch his attention, pulling from his thoughts.

“Yeah, Sugar?” he says, smiling your way.

“Do you want me to paint your nails too?” You offer.

“Are you sure? Isn’t that like..weird or whatever?” he worries, his eyebrows drawing together.

“Doesn’t have to be..anyway most of those metal rock stars you admire so much wear nail polish too” you chuckled.

“..Even Ozzy?” 

“Yes Eddie, even Ozzy” you assured him with a smile.

You see him go over it in his brain, his big brown hold an uncertain expression. You decide he needed an extra nudge. A little reassurance. 

“Come on Ed! Give me your hand! I can paint them and you can see how you like it, and if you really don’t like it we can take it off, no harm done!” 

“Alright then!” his lips spread into that cheeky smile that you’ve come to love so much.

You bring up a small bottle of Black nail polish from your little bag of nail polish colours.

“I think that this Black shade will be the perfect colour for you, Teddy” you say as you crack open the bottle.

You take his large hand in yours and begin swiping the dark polish across his fingertips.

“Stop fidgeting Eddie!! It’s gonna smudge!” you warned him.

“Okay okay! I’ll stay still, I promise, Sweetheart.” 

You finish painting his one hand before taking his other hand in yours. You start to paint the polish carefully over the nails of his other hand, making sure to give each nail an even coat of the black paint.

“Do you know you do that?” he chuckles.

“Do what?” you look back up at him, in the middle of painting his index finger.

“Stick your tongue out when you’re concentrating.” he tells you.

“I do not do that!” you defend.

“Babe, you just did it, right there. It’s okay..I think it’s cute”a slight giggle escapes his lips

 “Don’t make me laugh, Ed! I told you, you’re going to smudge my paint-job!” 

“Sorry, Sugar.” his big brown eyes soften as he looks at you.

You finish up, swiping the final coat of black polish over his pinky finger, grinning up at him.

“There we go! All finished! What do you think?” you ask with a smile.

He looks over his nails, examining them in great detail before breaking out into the biggest grin you’ve ever seen

“I love them babe! Looks super metal! Thank you so much!” 

—-------------------------

Eddie strolled into the cafeteria the next day, setting his lunch box down on the table amongst all the other members of Hellfire.

“You go to the salon to get them done or what?” Gareth jokes, poking fun at the dungeon master.

“My girl did them, got a problem with that Emerson?”

“I happen to think it looks very metal indeed.” you say smugly as you sit down next to Eddie.

Eddie glared down at Gareth, daring him to say anything about him or his girl.

“Yeah, no, totally, very metal.” Gareth agreed, backing down.

Eddie smiled at you. He would proudly wear his painted nails everyday, it was a reminder of the sweet gesture of you offering to paint them, and it warmed his heart.

[nightfallgame]

(NSFW) SHORT — Viktor Lucero (01)

Originally Written: 12-15-20

Prompt: Uhhh viktor touching himself with something he stole from the reader

The object in Viktor's hands is probably going to get him in trouble. He might be a lovesick fool, but he's not stupid enough not to recognize that he's made a bad choice.

It's a pair of your underwear, stolen straight from your laundry pile.

Just looking at it has Viktor's heart pounding and his cock twitching in his pants. He stares at the gray fabric, all but drooling, and debating if he can really go through with what he took it for. It would be a waste not to, but if you ever knew... 

They're used. They'll smell like you. 

Viktor gives in. He picks up the underwear from where it was resting on his bed and hesitantly runs his fingers over the cloth. It's soft and comfortable-looking. A part of him wants to put it on, maybe wear it to class for a day just for the thrill of it, but that would ruin the you attached to it. He can't do that... no matter how badly he wants to. 

Still holding the underwear, Viktor lays down on his side, pulling his covers up over himself. He slides his pajama pants down over his hips, then traces the swelling outline of his cock with two fingers. He's so aroused that even that light contact makes him shiver. 

He swallows heavily. He's really going to go through with this. 

The thought is thrilling. 

Next, Viktor takes out his cock. Already, he's about halfway hard. Fingers against bare skin are electrifying, especially when his eyes are glued to what's in his hand. 

How would you look at him if you knew? Picturing the disgust in your eyes makes Viktor's cock twitch. You'd see him as a pervert forever. You'd know just how badly he wants you, how far he's willing to go, and how he'd debase himself for your sake and nothing more. 

Shivering, Viktor strokes himself a couple of times. He doesn't need to bother with spitting on his hand. Already, his dick is drooling pre-come in a surprising amount. 

Stealing the underwear was way too easy. He was alone in your room, and the idea that you let him be there is just another nail in the coffin of need. 

The pleasure is smothering. Staring at the underwear and rubbing at his tip makes Viktor's the muscles in Viktor's thighs twitch, spasm, and try to press together. A thin trail of drool is leaking out of the corner of his mouth, wetting the pillow beneath his head. He bucks up into his hand desperately and whines under his breath at the pleasure. 

And then, Viktor dares to do something even more overwhelming. 

Slowly, as if fearing that you'd appear in his room and see him at any second, Viktor brings your underwear up to his face. He inhales against the cloth and moans at the scent of you clinging to it. This is something personal, something unique— and now it's his. 

He could almost pretend like his face is buried against you, like you're using his tongue. That's a thought that makes Viktor shudder and his eyes roll.

"A-Ah—"

A needy moan leaves him. He wants to be close to you for real, not just in his fantasy. 

As his pace increases, so does Viktor's spiral of lustful fantasies. His mind flickers back and forth between countless ideas of what you could do to him, of how he could be of use to you, and of how you'd feel if you could see him now. 

He can almost imagine you behind him, arms wrapped around his stomach. You could stroke his belly, leave bites along his neck and shoulders, and whisper all kinds of things into his ear. Being yours would be the best feeling in the world. Viktor's never had anyone close to him. He's never loved like this. You're the first person to break through his shell, and—

Moaning even louder, Viktor curls in on himself. Every breath fills his lungs with the scent of you, and every slide of his fingertips against his pre-come-slick skin makes him hotter. 

Inside and out, Viktor might as well be burning up. He's suffocating with every breath he takes in. The fabric over his face is making it hard to get enough air. 

And that— That gives him new thoughts. 

As it tends to, his mind flickers back to a certain moment that he can never forget. But this time, instead of his mother's hands around his neck, it's yours. It's your face above him, smiling as you strangle him to his breaking point. 

Biting down on his lip until he tastes blood, Viktor finally comes. 

The orgasm is forced out of him with a feeling like a lit match. The pleasure is a gut-wrenching wave that makes his whole chest seize up. 

Viktor lies there, shaking and twitching, for what feels like ages. There's copper against his tongue, a hot, sticky mess on his hands, and your underwear is still held up to his face. Viktor feels more like a pathetic pervert than he ever has before— and it's better than he could have imagined. Being this low, this shameful for you is the perfect place for him. 

Slowly, he sits up. His arm gives out on him once from how shaky it is, then almost another time. Viktor's head is spinning. He's still feeling warm all over from the aftershocks of his orgasm, and his cock is so sensitive that he flinches just from it brushing against his thigh. 

He proceeds to neatly, carefully fold up your underwear and hide it deep in the bottom of one of his dresser drawers, under plenty of clothes. 

You might find out eventually. Maybe that won't be a bad thing. 

Either way, Viktor takes a deep, slow breath. His head is filled with thoughts of you. Being held and cared for sounds wonderful, but Viktor is, as always, alone. He'll have to clean himself up while pretending like you're the one looking after him. 

That fantasy alone will never be enough. 

[ginger-snap-talkin-nonsense]

How do you feel about the later additions Poof, Sparky and Chloe?

Poof: Poof is a really interesting fairy concept but ultimately has little purpose in the series past his introduction and I believe his inclusion was a real final nail in the coffin for the Fairies role as “Godparents” being an afterthought. There’s a certain point in this show where the genuine emotional connection between Timmy, Cosmo, and Wanda goes from familial to two adults hired to babysit and really not being into it. Now that happens before poof but the believed necessity of Cosmo and Wanda needing a child to fuss over when…they literally have a child who they’re bound to fuss over was the final straw on that plot thread being out to bed.

Sparky: A character so dull they just flat forgot to write a reason why he wasn’t in the last season. I like to believe he died on the way back to his home planet.

Chloe: I think Chloe is genuinely the only new addition of the 3 with some heat behind her as a conceptual character. A lot of people hated her on sight and I think that’s mostly because people had long since stopped watching the show and just took what they were told by animation guys online about her flawed writing (or at least heard those before giving her a shot and became biased). I, however, think that she actually works really well as a foil to the Timmy we were getting by the final seasons.

Whereas Timmy is self centered and lazy but also pragmatic and has enough experience to know when a wish has the potential for catastrophe, Chloe is Altruistic to a fault and a compulsive busybody. People acted like her character didn’t work because she’s “perfect” but the show itself says that her problems are all far more internal. Her parents telling her that she made a bad choice sends her into a spiral, she actively makes herself sick trying to help too many people, throws the town into chaos by making a wish to he,p animals that Timmy warns her not make, and she’s so selfless that she about kills Timmy when they find out they share a birthday because it’s the only day of the year she allows to be all about her. She’s kind of a fucking nutcase and I like that.

Problem being this show was already so badly written by the end that it didn’t know how to write any of its established mains, let alone a new character. So the execution of most of her episodes fell flat.

It’s actually why I’m so surprised Hazel is so well written. She feels like Chloe done right: Internalized problems she has a hard time communicating and a desire to be looked at as doing the most right possible without thought of the consequences.

[incesthemes]

final thoughts: supernatural season 15

holy shit. i did it. i finished supernatural. i actually finished it a couple hours ago but i'm still having trouble processing it. i've been working at this for six months (but with a one-month break back in december) and i'm finally finished. honestly i don't think i really believed i would do it because shit this show is long, and i am not predisposed to enjoy shows like this. so this is a huge mark of pride for me, that i can finally say i did indeed sit down and watch all 327 episodes of supernatural :)

anyway all that to say i hated this season with a passion lmao, hasta la vista baby ✨

honestly i think i'll end up keeping this short because frankly most of my criticisms boil down to

how did you fuck up your own lore this badly

holy plotholes batman

this is so disrespectful and irreverent toward kripke's supernatural

nothing about this writing makes any kind of sense

well, that's convenient (in the most boring way imaginable)

so it's basically just a game of spin the wheel and see what it lands on.

the season started super weak; the concept was bad from the get-go and executed only to a mediocre standard, so i couldn't help but cringe my way through it. rowena's death was really well done, but her character was never well developed, in the same way most side characters on this show are never well developed, so while i appreciate the care that went into that scene it felt rather empty. it made me regret how poorly and inconsistently written she was. and yeah most side characters get this treatment—hell, cas gets this treatment which is why i don't care about him much—but she had such a provocative death scene that it had me lamenting that she didn't get a better foundation and better development. alas, that's just what it means to be someone other than sam and dean on supernatural.

after that was... the eileen subplot. i do really like eileen despite her being a rather flat and uninteresting character the way most women are on this show (y'know, kickass independent "girl power" women without nearly any other significant personality trait), but i really didn't appreciate the substantial pivot sam took from dean-focused to eileen-focused in this season. yes, season 12-14 did go to great efforts to make sure this wasn't The Sam And Dean Show anymore, but season 15 is so dramatically incongruous from even 12-14 that it just boggled my mind. the sam/eileen stuff was a major part of that, and it just didn't feel good because it was one more nail in the coffin with regards to how little the showrunners respected the foundation of the show (y'know, "the epic love story of sam and dean"). the only real salmondean moment in the entire season was the 7-minute incest speech in the finale—like what? i couldn't even properly enjoy that because of how poorly it was set up, thanks to the four seasons of retconning their relationship and making it less important to the series overall.

anyway all that to say, they had this massive sam/eileen subplot and then nothing even came of it. sam didn't even call to check if she was alive after jack resurrected everyone? he didn't meet up with her on screen even once? like if you're going to give him this season-long romance with someone other than dean, you could at least have the balls to commit to it. i find that just. godawful writing. eileen didn't have to be sam's blurry wife or anything, but he should have had some kind of resolution, literally anything at all, if we're meant to believe she's in any way important to him. c'mon.

more incongruous moments: dean got weirdly angry in this season. like what's with episode 17 man? there is nothing about dean in that episode that feels even remotely in character. from "jack's not family" to dean pulling a gun on sam, it all felt wildly overblown, way too melodramatic and sudden, and just not anything dean would do. yeah he's an angry guy, but???? this was too much, even for him. and the whole jack argument between sam and dean made me roll my eyes hard. because how do you expect me to believe that after all of the developments up to that point, that

dean wouldn't consider jack family. first of all that's stupid, dean drops the f-bomb on literally anyone he thinks is useful to further his goals. second of all it contradicts the bond they've formed since season 13, and it no longer fits with the parallel themes set up between sam, dean, and jack. it undermines what's been established, what's been developed, and what jack means to them on a thematic level. so so so stupid. cannot stress how dumb this move was. it just felt like the writers pulling out yet another OOC moment just so they can conveniently move the plot in the direction they wanted. so annoying.

sam and cas are equals in dean's eyes. like that's just hilarious to me. the last time cas died dean got sad for a little bit and burned his body on a pyre. the last time sam died dean committed suicide. these are not equal reactions. and sam and cas have never been equal to dean because dean always chooses sam over everyone, again evidenced in the series finale. so it was just hilarious for this one episode to pretend like sam and cas could ever be equal.

of course season 15 did really push a destiel agenda in the most unexpected and bizarre way. like wow, and i thought seasons 12-14 were a totally different show. no, season 15 is so much worse than that. i have absolutely no idea why they made the choices they did with this season, but they were not good, they routinely disrespected kripke's foundations of the show, and they ignored every theme ever laid out up until then. all for... what, exactly? so dean and cas can have a weird little non-romance together for 18 episodes only for them to slip wincest back in at the end? what's up with that? no like seriously, what were they trying to do here????

i told my friend this earlier, but i do think it's funny how cas's death speech is just straight-up factually incorrect regarding dean. i'm 100% fully willing to believe that castiel was blinded with lust by dean winchester that he simply made up some guy in his head who looked like dean. and that will be my headcanon going forth because wow it's shocking and funny as hell how much he got wrong while waxing poetic about dean. "you're the most selfless man i know" when kripke spent 5 seasons pounding it into our heads how fundamentally selfish dean (and sam, obviously, but the speech is about dean) is. girl what are you saying. dick so good he rewrote dean's basic character traits to be more convenient to him. i respect it truly i do.

anyway the finale. i hated it! to absolutely no one's surprise. a few days ago i wrote out what i thought would have been the most thematically cogent endings for supernatural. i knew what actually happens, obviously (hard to miss tbh), but my resolve on this front was only strengthened by actually watching it. yes the 7 minutes of incest were very nice and compelling, but... wow. this episode has some of the worst pacing i've ever seen in my life. dean died halfway into the episode? and the rest of that was... a sequence of short scenes that are too drawn-out to be a montage??? like there was no tension, no buildup, and no setup for what they did. it felt so lazy and underdeveloped, lacking any kind of poignancy or thematic cohesion. and then i had to watch TWENTY MINUTES of half-baked scenes of dean in heaven and sam growing old. i wouldn't have hated this ending so much if they had better pacing, i'm serious. like the outrage i feel is predominantly because of how badly it was written. the concepts aren't good, but they were par for the course. but TWENTY MINUTES OF MONTAGE. A MAJOR CHARACTER DEATH WITH NO EMOTIONAL BUILDUP, WHICH ACTIVELY CONTRADICTS THE THEMES OF THE SHOW. WHAT!!!!!!! WERE THEY THINKING!!!!!!!!!!

anyway i disliked that a little bit.

so overall i pretty much hated every part of this season and there were very, very, very few redeeming features sprinkled in. it's fine though! i'm fine. it's all over now :)

a few brief thoughts on the series overall: i regret ever speaking badly of kripke's supernatural; i didn't know how good i had it until it was gone. in hindsight, a lot of the seasons i thought were dogshit were actually not the worst things ever—i just didn't realize how bad bad could get. i know now. i will carry that knowledge with me forever.

dramatics aside, i honestly did enjoy watching the show. as much as i hated so many of the writing choices, the plotholes, the retcons, the way the writers just handwaved away anything inconvenient and rewrote characters entirely just to force them into the story they way they wanted them—it was still, like, fun. the agony was enjoyable (things masochists say). i think it helps that the fandom at large generally agrees that the writing is bad; it gives a sense of community and solidarity in the misery. there's no uneasy disconnect between myself and the rest of the fanbase, and that honestly does make all the difference. it's fun to suffer together, and i don't regret watching this show one bit :)

so with that said, here's my final ranking for every season:

season 1 (thematically strong, tight writing, incredible vision, truly foundational in its establishment of overarching themes, tone, and genre)

season 2 (such an interesting plot which builds on what was established in season 1. this is where the meat of the show is, where the heart is exposed to daylight as the chest is ripped open)

season 3 (well written, though disappointing in some areas largely due to kripke dropping the special children plot thus leaving a hole. not very noticeable due to the good writing, but still there. i'll never forgive them for killing off henricksen)

season 4 (this is the first real drop in quality imo, but it's relatively insignificant. the writing feels more meandering, and the tone shifts rather drastically away from the horror of its origin. the introduction of angels destroys a lot of the religious anxiety that formed the foundation of the show, but at the same time introduces a fantastic story about fate and doom)

season 5 (same as season 4, but with the flaws a bit more glaring. castiel's unclear motivations and underdeveloped shift in perspective are a major point of contention for me; i don't think it was handled well and could have been written better to make him a stronger character from the get-go, possibly allowing him to be a better character in later seasons instead of the conflicting mess we ended up with)

season 9 (the writing is atrocious, but the vision is so good. i still don't know how they managed that. they had such a great idea and they took kripke's supernatural and expanded on it in such a satisfying way. it drove me crazy! but holy shit the actual writing is so bad)

season 8 (i feel largely the same about 8 as i do 9, but i just think the writing was overall worse. it does get brownie points for having benny in it, though)

season 10 (boring. boring and paced so, so, so badly. the sole redeeming feature was how committed it was to its vision. it has the exact opposite problem as season 6 in that it has too little content to fill out the season. but god, the vision. you'll hear me waxing poetic about the season 8-10 vision on my death bed)

season 7 (it did a lot to pave the road for seasons 8-10 which i can't ignore. it also got itself fairly settled after the mess season 6 was and didn't try to bite off more than it could chew. i didn't love it, but it had a lot of moments that were provocative and interesting, and it provided pretty good setup for season 8. the writing was not good, but i think that goes without saying)

season 6 (introduced really interesting ideas, but tried to cram so much into one season that it failed to deliver satisfying payoffs for any of its setup. soulless sam was an interesting exception and really redeemed it for me)

season 12 (12 and 13 are about equal for me because i hate the plots, i hate the intense diversion away from The Sam And Dean Show, i hate the writing, i hate the concepts, etc etc. but they both introduce supporting characters which show off new and interesting sides to sam and dean: mary in 12 and jack in 13. it allows for focus to stay on sam and dean's relationship a little longer even though they're no longer generating any organic conflict between them, so i appreciate that at least)

season 13 (i fucking HATE the apocalypse world. that is my deciding factor between seasons 12 and 13. also i hate what they did to mary here)

season 14 (honestly an inoffensive season. i still hate the writing way more than anything else pre-12, and it doesn't have the benefits of a new character introduced to provide external conflict between sam and dean, so while it was relatively inoffensive it was also boring, lacking, and really obvious how little the writers cared about maintaining sam and dean's relationship as the emotional core of the show)

season 11 (the writing all things considered wasn't the absolute worst thing i've ever seen, if i'm being fair. on the other hand, i hated everything about this season conceptually, and i hate that it vouched for christianity as the ~one true religion~ which again undermines kripke's original series. this is me being petty and i'm okay with that)

season 15 (see above. oh but i'm honestly surprised it managed to surpass my ire toward season 11. like honestly it's impressive because i hold a massive grudge toward 11 which should have been insurmountable. a feat has certainly been achieved here!)

anyway. i said this wasn't going to be long but then i just kept on writing and writing. because that's what i do. i never learn 😔 i'll end it here then. i intend to go back and rewatch seasons 1-5 now that i'm finally finished, so i'm looking forward to that. i want to see if my rose-tinted glasses that i've been looking at kripke era with are based on reality or simply a longing to return to less terrible times :P

[alpydk]

Cabinet of Oddities (The Final Chapter)

Gale x Tav (OC F)

The final chapter. The defeat of the Netherbrain, the docks, the Chionthar. 2 epilogues. The first is the "canon" happy ending. The second is the one I prefer but decide for yourselves.

((I'm going to add a long blurb of thanks here. And some of my own unwanted backstory.

Nana was created for a DnD game back in 2021. A year when everything for me went to shit and I had a nervous breakdown. Her aversion to touch reflected my own insecurities with it, Thomas was the self-destructive tendencies which I clung to so desperately, her 5 years in the past was my 2021 as I lost myself to my mental health. Either way, this story was written as a reflection of all that happened and the friends that helped pull me out of it (despite all the struggles that came in that area).

But yeah, thank you to everyone who has read and enjoyed the story. It's meant a lot, especially with this being the first fic I've ever written. So again, thank you, thank you, thank you.))

Ao3 Link

Nana fell onto the Netherbrain, her slight changeling form hitting the flesh beneath her. “Ooo squishy…”

“Tormentum!” Gale fired off a barrage of magic missiles at the mind flayer that loomed over her. “Nana, pull yourself together!” The battle so far had been intense, fighting their way through the High Hall, taking down cultists, ghouls and mindflayers and they’d had little time to recuperate before the final stages came. Now they bided their time as their own mindflayer ally opened the last portal giving them access to their foe. Gale ran to her, helping her from the ground where the enemy had shoved her.

“Thanks,” she said, wiping the ichor from her armour before leaning around him and firing an arrow past him into a tentacle that had suddenly emerged. “This is fun, right?” He could see how light her eyes were and the way her lips curved as she saw the arrow hit.

He looked at her in confusion but then a smile crept on his face. “Hardly the verbiage I would choose, my love.”

The portal erupted into view and the group sprinted for it ready to face the brain, the hardest part they had to overcome. Gale still thought of the orb, of that final choice he would have to make if things began to go badly for them. They continued to fight valiantly leaping between the plates that barely held in place around the brain. He could see the wear and tear of Astarion’s armour, the bruises on Shadowheart’s face, and again the choice presented itself to him. If this is what is needed, then so be it. 

“Pew pew!” Nana dived past him firing arrows at the brain, his thoughts interrupted. Does she even realise where we are right now? He felt his head throb as the Netherbrain attempted to dominate the tadpoles they carried within. “Tormentum!” Another collection fired in the direction of the brain. Just go for the Magic Missile and fire away. Never fails. 

It was a spell from the Shadowheart that was the final nail in the coffin, causing the Netherbrain to cry out in agony. He heard its voice within his head pleading with them to surrender or work alongside it but the mindflayer accompanying them ordered them to kill it. Gale stood with the crystals, looking at the Netherbrain in front of him, knowing only one thing; He needed to get the crown. He commanded with authority for the Netherbrain to destroy all the tadpoles and itself, immediately feeling intense pain in his skull, the worm withering away to nothingness. 

-------------------------------

Nana watched as Gale made the order, her cheeks flushing a little at the sight. Oh, he is nice when he’s in charge… She bit her lip and then grimaced before crumpling to the ground in pain. She clenched her eyes shut, hoping for it to end and as it did, she looked up seeing the crown shatter into pieces before falling out of sight.

She looked down into the water. Everything was quiet. Too quiet. No Thomas, no tadpole, just the ramblings of her own mind. Jam, cushions, Gale. Going to be a fun night. And then there was a new sensation, one she had never experienced before, falling a large distance. 

She felt the wind in her hair, savouring the moment before she hit the cold water beneath. A strange feeling overtook her as struggled to stay afloat, her arms growing weaker against the current, water entering her lungs. She could see the light above the surface but her mind kept drifting away from her, willing for sleep to take her. It was only as Astarion grabbed her pulling her upwards and the air entering her lungs again that she realised what had happened. She gasped for breath as she was pulled up onto the docks, coughing up mouthfuls of water. “I need to… learn how to swim.”

Astarion stood up next to her wringing out the water from his clothes. “Darling, you need to learn so much more before swimming.” 

She felt Gale’s hand on her back, rubbing gently, and looked up to him with a smile. “We made it…”

----------------------------------

Gale walked along the docks indulging in the sensation of finally having his mind to himself again. He thought over the crown and where it was within the water, how he would find it and reforge it, and whether he was still willing to hand it over to Mystra as she had ordered of him. He looked over at Nana as she removed her soaked leather armour revealing her cotton shirt underneath, her pale skin moist with droplets of water. She shook her head, spattering Astarion, and Gale watched as he chastised her for it, her laughing at his temper. Is godhood worth losing all this?   

It was as her smile faded that his attention moved to what she had seen. Karlach stood on the edge of the docks, the flames of her skin licking higher. She’d spoken little of her affliction to him throughout their travels, but he knew what was happening as Shadowheart ran towards her with concern on her face. He watched, unable to hear the words they spoke to one another as Karlach burnt hotter and brighter than any of them had seen previously, his mind racing, looking for solutions. An ice blast, the water around us. All other options except the one he knew she was against. It was Wyll who shouted past him about Avernus, the reluctance showing on her face as she heard the words, but Shadowheart managed to convince her to see sense. 

They had no time to say goodbye to the trio before they fled through the portal, the heat of Karlach’s flames becoming too much for any of them to handle. Nana stood next to him, a tearful and shocked look on her face. 

Astarion came closer towards them both with a smirk. “Well, loves, I guess it’s just our merry- ow!” He flicked his wrist as if he had been bitten by an insect. Gale saw how his skin began to smoke, the delicate fingertips of his hands cracking into a soft blue. “What the - oh gods. Oh no.” The sunlight.

Nana's panic was clear to see as she watched how Astarion fled across the docks, his abilities being altered by the absence of the tadpole. “We have to go after him!” she called to Gale, before beginning to run.

Gale reached an arm out stopping her progress. “There’s little point. There’s nothing we can do for him.”

“Maybe not, but he’s our friend. We can’t just leave him alone out there,” she pleaded with him. In mere moments she had lost over half of the people who had ever come to care for her, leaving only him alone with her. “We have to find him. Please, Gale.”  

You’re right. The crown can wait. He gave a small nod and together they ran off in the direction they had seen Astarion flee.

---------------------------------

It had been over one hundred years since Astarion had felt the sun last burn his skin, a cruel torture technique that Cazador had used a few times for entertainment. But over the last few weeks, he had forgotten the feeling of it, the sting and then the pain that followed. He ran to the shadows, glad for the layer of dust in the air that blocked the sun’s direct rays from burning him up instantly. He crawled into himself, the days of those small beams prickling at his skin flashing in his mind, and he closed his eyes, willing them away, trying to work out his route to the Underdark where he would have to continue on alone.

What Astarion had not expected was to feel someone sit next to him as he sat alone behind the crates. He lifted his head and sat in confusion seeing Nana with him. After all they had been through, how he had treated her, and distrusted her so much. She still refused to abandon him like so many others had before. “He’s here, Gale,” she yelled out into the air.

Astarion didn’t know what to say. He didn’t want anyone to see him in this condition, with his face burnt by the sun, and his clothes tattered and torn. He buried his face in his knees again to shield himself from her view. As he spoke, his voice was quiet, more vulnerable than he would have liked, “Leave me alone.”

She said nothing but he didn’t feel her move. He heard Gale’s steps on the stone beside him and felt as he sat too. I don’t want their concern. He wanted to shout for them to leave again, he wanted his strength back, he wanted the sun, but they chose to never leave him. Even as the sun slowly dipped below the horizon, they sat quietly with him waiting until he was ready to say goodbye on his own terms. 

--------------------------------------

“You’re going to be okay, right?” Nana’s lip quivered as she spoke the words on the shores of the Chionthar. 

Gale gave her a reassuring smile, placing his hands over hers. “I will be.” He spoke with confidence, despite the worries he held within. He was thankful for the tadpole’s absence making these little moments that much easier to handle. “I will find the crown and come back to you. Do not worry for me.”

“I’m going to wait right here. I’ll stay here until you’re back.” 

He could see the concern on her face, and he wished he could reassure her further. The letter he’d written lay in the journal he’d gifted her on the desk at the Elfsong Tavern, and he hoped she would never have to read it. Even if she did, he had spent hours with a quill in hand trying to provide the best words that could give her comfort if the worst were to happen. The kiss they shared felt too short, and Gale hoped it would not be their last. He boarded the boat to go out into the waters, letting his hands slip from hers. “Nana, know that I will always love you.”

He watched as she sat alone on the shore, her legs pulled up to her chest, and as she slowly disappeared from view he gave a quiet prayer to his goddess for her protection.

*****************************************

Epilogue

It was a sunny day outside of Waterdeep. A lone gravestone could be seen, purple flowers lined around the base. Not far from it sat Nana in her natural changeling form, her short white hair had grown out and the scuffed leather armour had been replaced with an elegant silk gown.  

 "So, it's been a year now since that day by the river. A lot's happened, as you know. I held a proper funeral for you here and I was able to say my goodbyes. I met up with Karlach and the gang again. They said Avernus has been good to them. They mentioned something about a refinery and that they’re hopefully sorting something permanent for Karlach’s machine. I’m hopeful for her. Astarion went back to the Underdark as well and has pretty much put himself in charge of all the vampires. He looks well, a lot more at ease with himself than he used to be.” 

She brushed her hair behind her ear. “And then there is me... Well, me and Gale are getting married. Yeah, I think he’s crazy too. I know you probably won’t be too happy about it, but then you were never really that happy about anything, were you? I wonder if you were always that way. Was there any way I could have really saved you?”

She sighed deeply looking at the tattered journal that sat beneath the stone. “I think that’s why I'm here today. I wanted to explain the choice I made a year ago. Why I didn't want to help you. I’d believed that I wasn’t enough, and when I met you, I thought that for maybe a moment you were the answer to everything. Too many times I questioned what you did and yet I allowed it, afraid of you leaving me. I was selfish and because of me, people got hurt, and people died. After meeting Gale, and everyone else, I realised that I am special in my own strange way and that being alone isn’t really what I want anymore. I guess what I’m saying is, I don’t need you anymore. I do hope though that you’re happy. You showed me a new world outside of my swamp, and maybe at some point, you did feel something for me other than the disgust you did a year ago.” She wiped away a stray tear and smiled. “Either way, I hope now that you’re gone, you’ve found some peace in death that you never had in life." 

A few feet away Gale approached, his hair still weaving around the collar of his robes, though now with a layer tied neatly back. "Nana, If I could give you longer I really would but my mother is quite the stickler for being punctual. We’ve also received a letter about a tree growing at the location we previously camped at in Rivington. They’d like for us to come and claim it before they cut it down." 

Nana looked at Gale and smiled before turning back to the gravestone. "Well, I guess this is it then…” She stood and placed a hand on the cold stone. “Goodbye, Thomas. I'll always remember our time together." She breathed deeply and approached Gale, sharing a brief kiss with him before settling her hand in his.

Together they left the resting place of Thomas, only the sound of birdsong left hanging in the air.

*************************************

Epilogue (Alternative)

The rains poured outside of Waterdeep. A lone gravestone could be seen, purple flowers lined around the base. Not far from it sat Gale his dark hair had grown out, greying more than it previously did and the scuffed purple robe had been replaced with leather armour.   

"So, it's been a year now since that day by the river. A lot's happened, as you know. I held a proper funeral for you here and I was able to say my goodbyes. I met up with Karlach and the group again. They said Avernus has been good to them. They mentioned something about a refinery and that they’re hopefully sorting something permanent for Karlach’s machine. I’m hopeful for her. Astarion went back to the Underdark as well and has pretty much put himself in charge of all the vampires. He looks well, a lot more at ease with himself than he used to be.” 

He brushed his hair back with his hand. “And then there is me... Well, I’m returning to my swamp. I stayed here for a while with Tara and your mother but they’re a bit much for me. I see the way they look at me, blaming me for what happened. I should have gone with you, I should have stopped you. I should have prayed harder to Mystra…”

Nana sat in his form holding her arms tightly around her body. She sighed deeply looking at the tattered journal that sat beneath the stone. “I think that’s why I'm here today. I wanted to say goodbye properly. I’d always believed that I wasn’t enough, and when I met you, I thought that for maybe a moment you were the answer to everything. I kept your form for comfort just like I did all those days past with Thomas and I know in some way you’re still with me but I know that I can’t keep doing this. I need to let you rest, I want to hold onto you, but I know it’s not what you want. Your letter brought me comfort and I keep it in the journal you bought for me. You never let me down, never. You were always worthy, always good enough and I just wish you knew that. I wish you were here so I could tell you every day how much I love you, how much I’ll always love you.” She wiped away a stray tear. “I’ll keep writing poetry for you." 

A few feet away Astarion approached, a large black umbrella held over him, blocking his suit from becoming soaked. "Darling, if I could give you longer I really would but they expect the rain to clear in the next few hours and I’d love to get back to the Underdark long before that happens."

Nana looked at him and waved an arm not wanting to be rushed before turning back to the gravestone. "Well, I guess this is it then…” She stood, reverting back to her natural form. “Goodbye, Gale. My moon and star." She breathed deeply and approached Astarion, giving him a small nod, thankful for the rain coming down upon them.

Together they left the resting place of Gale, only the sound of raindrops hitting the umbrella left hanging in the air.

[secretmellowblog]

I actually don’t think it’s true to say Hugo “intended” for Javert to be Romani. I admit my own feelings on this have changed over the years. :( The thing that was the final nail in the coffin to “this was almost certainly not *Hugo’s* original intent” was when I listened to a talk from a person studying race in Les Mis and they addressed Romani Javert specifically. It really feels like the more you study the passages that people pick to support this interpretation, the more the claim this was “definitely Hugo’s intent” seems to hold less water.

To be clear I don’t think Hugo’s intent is the be-all end-all, and that people can reinterpret things, and that reinterpretation is good. I also think people can reasonably disagree on translation/interpretation. but if we’re talking about the original intent….

If you read any other of Hugo’s works, there is never this level of ambiguity when he is trying to indicate a character is Romani. He is especially never this ambiguous when a character is dark-skinned enough to not pass as white. He is explicit. (And he’s racist. Hugo sucked.) Romani characters in other Hugo novels both before and after Les Mis are basically always explicitly said to be Romani, in a way that Javert never ever is.

Even in Les Mis we see a handful a characters who are supposed to be nonwhite, and it’s always very explicit. Hugo was racist and also very unsubtle.

The passage people usually cite as proof Hugo intended Javert to be Romani are two lines in his backstory— one saying that his mother was a fortune teller, the other saying that he’d come to hate “the race of bohemians from which he’d sprung.”

There are two words commonly used for “bohemian” in French. one is usually is used for the race of Romani people and the other is also commonly used as a general adjective. Apparently the term that Hugo uses here is the one that is also used as a general adjective. Saying “this passage is meant to clearly explicitly indicate he is Romani” seems to me like it’s mistranslating it; at best, it seems like you can argue there is possibly some intentional ambiguity. Later on we also get a description of Cosette that describes her as “the bohemian who walks barefoot.” (It’s being used in that context in the racist way people use g*psy as an adjective.) But people are far less likely to interpret dainty innocent Cosette as Romani compared to “violent” “brutal” and “savage” Javert who “hates his own race.”

The “fortune teller” mother could play into bigoted Romani stereotypes— but it could also into bigoted stereotypes about poor/lower class people, which often broadly overlap. Because of racism a lot of the way characters are coded as lower class/being on the fringes of society, and coded as Romani, broadly overlapped.

And “race” is being used in a more general sense here to refer to class, the way Hugo uses it often.

None of the early adaptations of Les Mis go with the Romani Javert interpretation. I can’t find old reviews that mention it. To me this indicates this isn’t what people at the time would’ve gotten out of the story either, especially because Hugo doesn’t seem to have gone on the record about people missing it. And again if you contrast that with other Hugo novels, where reviewers and adaptations DO all get which characters are meant to be read as Romani..:it just doesn’t seem to hold water that this was definitely what an audience was supposed to get from it.

And even if this was Hugo’s intent (and I don’t think it was)….well then it’s a catastrophic failure? Then it’s very Badly Written and shallow and horribly handled?

Because Les Mis is about how people with different kinds of marginalization face very different specific challenges. A character’s gender, class, level of education, criminal record, age, etc etc etc all affect the way that they’re treated and there’s lots of explicit discussion of that constantly.

So if Javert was intended by Hugo to Romani, and especially if he was supposed to be visibly nonwhite— well then it’s a failure of the narrative because Hugo never does any deep research or analysis of how his race would actually affect his life. Even in the very racist and bad novel Notre Dame De Paris/the Hunchback Of Notre Dame, there is explicit discussion of the way being Romani affects the character’s lives and how they’re treated in a way that we never ever ever see with Javert. It’s poorly handled and racist, but it’s there.

But if you want any of that explicit discussion about race to be in Les Mis you have to do the research and add it yourself, because it is just…Not There.

There’s no discussion of Romani culture and Javert’s distance from it, there are no scenes showing the way Javert interacts with other Romani people, there’s no explicit discussion of actual Roma people at all really, and (if Javert’s meant to be read as someone who doesn’t pass as white) theres no discussion of the way being visibly nonwhite would affect his life in such a deeply racist society. literally none of that is there. If Javert is supposed to be Romani there is an utter lack of care paid to how that would actually affect him and the way he’s marginalized, in a way you don’t see with how Hugo handles gender or class.

Again to me it seems like if Hugo intended for Javert to be Explicitly Definitely Roma, we would know; if he intended for him to visibly nonwhite, we would definitely know.It’s not just that the way he codes Javert doesn’t resemble the way he handles Romani characters in other books… it’s also that it doesn’t resemble the level of detail/care he usually pays to Exactly what background each character comes from and Exactly how it affects their lives.

It seems like what fans often do is take Javert’s internalized classism and label that as “internalized racism?” But I feel that while there are similarities because “class” in the 19th century was often treated as something immutable and biological, and classes were often described as a “race”, they’re really not the same thing.

And like, I’m not here to tell people what to do! people can reinterpret things how they want and bring their own takes on the story. Hugo sucked and was shitty and racist. A lot of my favorite Les Mis fanfics are one that take characters Hugo probably intended to be white and reinterpret them as POC, doing research into how that would’ve affected their experiences. But at the same time….

Many other people before me have pointed out that there is a Trend to which characters in which Les Mis tend to be more commonly reinterpreted as POC. There is a reason why “savage” “violent” oppressive cop Javert was played by a black actor on broadway years before we got our first black Valjean.

As someone who used to have this interpretation, I think Javert is a challenging character to attempt to reinterpret as a POC (without massive changes to his characterization) if you’re doing it for “good diverse representation” because he just, sucks so badly. Especially if he’s written as the only POC in the cast, he’s just a mess. He’s described as violent. As beast-like. He’s a bigoted cop. He’s brutal. He’s hideously ugly. He canonically refuses to think because he hates thinking. He hates the “race” (meaning class of poor people) he comes from. Every time we see him he’s compared to a savage animal. And yeah that’s …a lot of baggage! He is a character made entirely of baggage. And adaptations like BBC Les mis show the kind of uncomfortable racism that ends up being brought to the surface when Javert is one of the few main POC in the cast.

But yeah. TL:DR; There is ambiguity in Javert’s initial description, and I see why people have this interpretation. I think people can reasonably disagree on it. But over the years I’ve come down on the side of, it’s a bit misleading to say this is Definitely Clearly Exactly Canonically what Hugo intended and that adaptations/fans are whitewashing him.

To be clear I also think that reinterpreting characters is great and good! And that reinterpreting characters as POC, doing the research that Hugo didn’t, is especially good! but also that Javert in particular is a problematic hornet’s nest of unfortunate implications that kinda have to be managed, and that whether you disagree that this was “Hugo’s intent” or not there’s a massive gap in the story when it comes to discussing race that would sorta need to be filled with outside research.

[rapunziedameron]

5, 7, and 10 for the fandom asks

5. Favorite song, album, or artist to listen to this year

Rachel, I can always count on you to come in clutch and enable my music infodumping 😌 this is a hard choice for me, though, because I had a lot of faves this year song wise. But I think that Under Your Thumb by Nom Fabrique ended up being my favorite song of the year? Frankly astounded it wasn't higher on my Spotify Wrapped. I also found and fell in love with How Did You Love by Shinedown, Sing to Me by MISSIO, Wet Dream by Wet Leg, and Fear is Like a Forest by Courtney Barnett & Kurt Vile.

My favorite album is definitely a tie between LOOM by Imagine Dragons, or Short n' Sweet by Sabrina Carpenter — who definitely earns the "artist of the year" for me because she definitely became a hyperfix. But bonus points to the soundtrack for My Lady Jane because that was also on repeat for weeks.

7. Favorite TV show episodes of the year

This year had a lot of good TV, like...holy crap. I definitely think my top episodes go something like this:

The Acolyte 1.05 “Night” — despite breaking my heart twice over this episode was so fucking good, and definitely Star Wars at its best.

X-Men '97 1.03 “Fire Made Flesh” — I am a sucker for good characters briefly turning evil arcs AND the "face your fear" trope and this episode delivered both?

X-Men '97 1.05 "Remember It" — REMY LEBEAU THE MAN THAT YOU ARE. Absolutely devastating, Marvel at its finest.

My Lady Jane 1.03 "With a Girl Like You” — erotic medieval medicine practicing? Sexually charged sword play? Slowburn that isn't even slowly burning they're both just on fire at this point? What's not to love

My Lady Jane 1.05 “I'm Gonna Change the World" — not going to lie, it's on here for the opening sequence, the sex scene, and the argument at the end because I looooove angst. "Fuck England, heal me!" ough Guildford...

10. Biggest fandom disappointment of the year

There was...a few. The Tortured Posts Department was a let down in practically every sense but especially left me incensed with the rampant ableism riddled through the album (and its music video). The Acolyte getting cancelled also felt like another nail in the coffin for my patience with Star Wars as it currently exists.

But I think the biggest disappointment was Doctor Who. I thought it would finally be good again (see: well-written, fleshed out storylines and characters) but instead we got rehashed slop, a Doctor that doesn't feel like the Doctor (funny how remarkably quick the ability to write them as the Doctor vanishes once he's not a white man!), a companion who, if you pointed a gun at my head, I couldn't tell you what motivated her in the slightest or why she's even traveling with the Doctor in the first place. The discovery that it's mostly written because RTD was bitter about the sequels has really only furthered my disappointment and irritation. They're not doing anything new, and they're rehashing storylines so badly it's a popular fan theory that it must be this bad on purpose? Like...

If you're going to just waste actors like Jodie Whitaker and Ncuti Gatwa, and refuse to let anyone but the same three white men who have been writing the show for literal two decades, write the show, then frankly? It should have ended back in 2017 with Capaldi. *shrugs*

fandom year in review!

[owlsong74]

thoughts and opinions on the D23 parks announcements under the cut. it's pretty long and rambly, and written as much to get my own thoughts in order as to share them. That said, would gladly hear others' opinions.

(edit: this was written before monday's news, and I've soured on the announcements related to the upper left corner of MK since then)

TLDR: It's more good than bad. A few good things I'm genuinely excited for, and some bad things tempering them. The bad things would have hurt a lot 10 years ago, but Disney is getting predictable in their faults, and we didn't get the worst possible outcomes, so whatever.

The Good

New nighttime parade MK -- genuinely good news, and it looks lovely

Coco DCA -- happy to see this! very cute. I like the sound of focusing on animatronics and use of music. I'm glad its not going to Epcot as was rumored, so we can still have the Three Caballeros there, and enjoy a new, unique dark ride in California. may tip the scales in favor of me wanting to go to DCA every DL trip again alongside Ariel/Monsters/Cars for the dark ride goodness. Basically no notes. Just want to know location and more details.

Lion King Flume, WDS paris -- very weird that they announced that it would be based on the original movie while the concept art very clearly shows the "live action" version. maybe a recent change? It's a good change if so. (Although still very unprofessional to show a Live Action concept art when it probably could've been edited to show the Animated characters within hours of the event.)

This is the resort's first water ride and is badly needed both on that front and as another attraction in WDS' sad lineup.

Will be excited to see more art for this, based on the original movie this time, and especially of interior scenes-- imagine a dark ride version for "I just can't wait to be king"!

A surrounding land was announced with shops/restaurants and I'm curious how they plan on pulling that off, given the humanless, naturalistic setting and relatively less-anthropomorphized characters.

Good idea for park and resort and looking forward to it!

Mostly good with complicating thoughts

Pandora DCA -- as someone who has seen neither of the Avatar movies, but enjoyed Pandora in Florida, I'm looking forward to this, but with less excitement than Coco.

I do like atmospheric boat rides and this looks more impressive than the one in Florida, which I already enjoyed. It seems to be based on the Pirates tech in Shanghai, which will be cool to have stateside. I hope some of the monsters are animatronics.

This addition basically confirms that the California theme for the park is dead, but I really gave up on that several years ago; this was just the final nail in the coffin. DCA is an Everything Park, and that's fine. Whatever. Making it a dumping ground for whatever movie franchise Disney wants to promote in its parks acts as a buffer for the more historical and foundational park, Disneyland. In addition, the California theme was also never uniformly executed well, which makes its watering down much less painful than the watering down of Epcot or Animal Kingdom's themes.

I'm hoping this is slated for the Disneyland Forward land, but I'm hearing it may take over Hollywoodland as well. I'd personally miss the Monsters Inc dark ride and be nostalgic for things like the Animation building or stupid backlot puns, but I don't think there's any reasonable argument that this wouldn't be an upgrade.

Tropical Americas DAK-- the way they described it makes it sound like it should fit in well with other areas of the park, matching Africa and Asia better than Dinoland did, and more generally that the Imagineers are putting a lot of thought into its design. I'm glad Indy is not a carbon copy of the one in California, and the Encanto dark ride sounds cute.

On a more meta level, I'm glad they are still designing and building themed lands that have more than one IP applicable to them, and even the opportunity/necessity for original elements.

I'm personally sorry to lose Dinosaur. It was my favorite attraction on my first trip to Florida as a pre-teen and I love the dinosaurs and kooky premise. That said, we've thought it was going to close for years now, so I've had time to come to terms with it.

It still sucks that they are doing replacements instead of building real expansions when they have the space for it and DAK needs all the capacity it can get. I also hope someday the animal-themed park may feature non-avian dinosaurs again. Overall though, I was happily surprised with how they seem to be handling this.

One remaining question: where are the animal exhibits...?? Isn't this park primarily supposed to be about seeing animals?

Monsters Inc roller coaster DHS -- This has been a rumor on the internet ever since I was a child in the 00s watching Screamscape.net and Disney park fan forums like a hawk. It's a no-brainer and it'll be a fun addition to DHS.

Hoping they're killing the Animation Courtyard for this and not Muppets. Muppet*Vision 3-D isn't an E ticket by any means but it was one of the last major Muppet projects that Jim Henson himself worked on, and has already been evicted from DCA. It's a cute show and one of the better 4D shows at the parks. Its loss would be felt.

VillainsLand MK - YES. This has also been rumored since forever. Again, at least since the early-mid 00s when I first got online. We got basically no details on this, but the art looks cool, and the concept alone is an immediate sell! Very excited for this!

Two reasons why this is in this tier instead of the "good" tier:

1. We don't have any details. Like, for a detail-dry panel, somehow we got even less info for this than for everything else. trying to reserve judgement until we know more.

2. If this is going behind Big Thunder, that means the Cars attractions might be going in a much worse location within Frontierland, which will hurt MK's thematic integrity and atmosphere pretty hard. Admittedly, this is mostly Cars' problem, but it did temper my excitement for this pretty badly during the announcement itself. If we're lucky, both projects are beyond the railroad tracks, even if they shorten the River à la California.

i dont care

all the marvel stuff. Like Pandora, I'm not very familiar with the source material. unlike Pandora, I haven't been impressed with Disney's offerings so far (with the caveat that I haven't gone on Rewind yet, which does sound better than the DCA attractions).

If they blow my socks off, cool! Awesome! If not, whatever. I'm glad others are having fun, and unlike in the past, this time they aren't replacing anything I care about.

Non-parade nightime shows. I'm sure they'll be fine. I don't love Disney Animation sing-along format shows (especially outside of Fantasmic, where a lot of the interest comes in the form of props, actors, the use of the big river ships, and the dragon). However, I realize this is very much a me thing, and their mere existence doesn't bother me.

cruises and fortnite. I'm not the audience for these things and I don't even understand why fortnite costume announcements were part of this panel.

...huh?

Great Moments with Mr. Disney or whatever DL -- It's mere existence vexes me, but more out of an intolerance for corporate worship of the man than anything to do with my theme park opinions.

I wonder if they'll also update the Lincoln figure to match him in tech? That would be neat, at least. Keeping Abe updated to the latest Animatronics tech is a long-kept tradition, and the last update was back in 2009.

If nothing else, we'll probably get some banger memes out of it.

bad

Cars in Frontierland MK -- ?????????????? why are we doing this. are we really sacrificing the thematic integrity of the land, and for the sake of the Cars franchise, of all things?

I only hope that this is in the area behind Big Thunder. If it's back there, it may feel like a modern sub-land separate from the more traditional "Western" sections, with a transitional area in-between. It would even follow the already-established pattern of moving forward in time as you walk from Liberty Square through Frontierland. The Cars ride itself could even be cute and better than DCA's if handled well.

However, it doesn't seem like we are so lucky.

The announcement of Villainsland and the rumors of Tom Sawyer Island closure make it seem more likely to be taking over the Rivers of America, at least the back half of it.

Edit, with the new Monday announcement:

It's not only taking over part of the river, it's taking over the front half, with the back half probably being used by Villains. This is the stupidest, most short-sighted decision I think I've seen Disney take in a long time.

MK's river is very nice, especially at night, and the TSI is absolutely delightful, if simple, and a good place to beat the crowds and concrete found in the rest of the park. Neither are E-ticket extravaganzas, but they aren't meant to be, offering a different kind of low-key attraction, and adding a lot of atmosphere to MK.

That atmosphere also includes placemaking for the three E-tickets in the area: Haunted Mansion, Tiana, and Big Thunder. All three will be negatively impacted by this change.

These things might not sound like much, but they add up and make the Disney parks what they are, and why they are loved.

It'd be a huge shame to lose such an asset to the park, especially one that still a nearly untouched example of classic WED imagineering, between the sightlines, the river gags, the island caves, the riverboat, and everything else.

(And this not even reiterating the fact that Cars does not "fit" comfortably inside the bounds of the historically based lands around the river, which I already mentioned in my initial paragraphs.)

This decision is not easily reversible and wrecks the entire balance and design of the entire northwest corner of the park, all for the sake of selling cars merch. It's times like this where I wonder why I even bother being a fan of these places. Or, for that matter, of themed design in general.

Why can't this be its own separate land from Frontierland, as with Cars Land in DCA? Why not in DHS, which badly needs more capacity and already houses other difficult-to-fit-elsewhere Pixar movies like Toy Story, Monsters Inc, and even Cars already?

/edit

I don't know. I hope the rides are fun, at least.

what we didn't see

Literally anything not based on a pre-established property would have been nice to see. Can we literally do nothing original anymore in these parks? Are the parks always going to be tied to movies from now on, like at Uni?

Where's this generation's Pirates of the Caribbean, Big Thunder Mountain, Spaceship Earth, Sindbad, Country Bears, Soarin' Over California, Expedition Everest, Test Track, Etc Etc Etc? Let Imagineers create their own stories and experiences for us to fall in love with! Have some trust in the medium!

I'm of course not totally against rides being based on movies or TV. Indiana Jones, Snow White, Tower of Terror, and Rise of the Resistance are some of my favorite attractions, period. But it's disappointing as someone who got interested in Disney in general through the parks, and not the other way around, to see them do nothing but tie-ins.

It also makes it harder to defend themed design as an art-form unto itself when the industry leader in the US, and in many ways the main innovator in the medium for multiple decades, only seems to treat its parks as a merchandising and marketing arm for its film and tv properties and little else.

/fin rant

We also didn't see the announcement for a new Tomorrowland for Disneyland, which was heavily rumored. It's disappointing to see the land stagnate for another decade, but tbh, I would be happy to let the current moment pass before they completely redo this land again.

It certainly needs the help. Literally anything would be better for the Carousel Theater's plot of land or the Magic Eye Theater than what currently exists-- even if it's not my cup of tea, it'd be a use for dead space in a park short on expansion land. Autopia needs electric vehicles at a minimum (although I'd love to see some new, cool theming or landscaping along the track as well), the Peoplemover tracks either need to be reused or torn down, Astro Orbiter needs to be moved to open up the entrance bottleneck, and tbh Star Tours is outmoded by the new Star Wars land.

However, I don't trust them not to pave over the Submarine Lagoon, and this is important enough to me to let the husk of Innoventions rot for another decade in exchange.

I would honestly be fine if Disneyland and Disneyland Paris (the castle park from the second generation of Imagineers) were largely untouched until winds have changed in favor of a bit of respect for what already exists, original works, and coherent non-single-franchise-specific lands again. Luckily we have DCA and WDS, whose needs are still more urgent anyway.

Finally, we also didn't see the constantly rumored Imagination Pavilion update. Imo, this is fine for the same reason. Figment and Dreamfinder deserve better than an Inside Out reskin.

However, as far as Epcot goes, it would have been nice to get the Play Pavilion and Mary Poppins ride back on the docket. It's also weird we got a mention of Test Track 3.0 but no new details or art.

Conclusion

This panel could have been way worse than it was, and I'm excited for some of the new attractions.

The disappointments were more of the same-old things I've started to expect with Disney parks, with nothing original, and the continued disintegration of park-level (DCA, to a lesser extent DAK) and land-level (Frontierland) themes.

However, the things announced look to be quality in isolation if nothing else, and they're unique to their respective parks, which is a good change from copying everything verbatim from one coast to another. I'm genuinely excited for the Coco boat ride, Lion King Flume, Villains land, and new nighttime parade, and cautiously optimistic for much of the rest.

The downsides felt like nothing near the disappointments of the past, where they announced rides I didn't care about to replace classics that didn't deserve to die, and made the offputting decision to put Star Wars Land in Disneyland instead of saving it for a 3rd park or keeping it unique to Florida.

(Although, frankly, Cars for Frontierland might be worse than SWGE in DL, and the difference is simply that I'm used to disappointment now. Edit: with Monday's announcement, I'm sure of this. SWGE is a lop-sided, unbalanced, out-of-scale addition to Disneyland, but at least it leaves the original park largely intact, and feels like a Separate Thing beyond the bounds of the berm/railroad)

Overall, not a bad showing.

[sunlightandsuffering]

Lys, I'm here for you to read it whenever you decide to write the scene where Eren breaks up theire fwb arrangement. Or is just overall dejected after everything goes to shit

OH BESTIE IT'S ALREADY WRITTEN! Like I said I have a surprising amount of this AU written lol 😂 Excuse me I was in my Hisu villain era when I wrote this lol 😂

But then one day Eren shows up with Historia, pretty small blonde Historia and instead of not bothering to introduce her. He tells everyone to meet his new girlfriend. 

This must be the girl he liked enough to fuck. 

And that’s the nail in Mikasa’s coffin because nothing has ever hurt so badly. Because he kisses her forehead and gets her drinks before she can ask and Mikasa is horrified to discover she’s not just another fling, she’s the real deal. And she comes over to their apartment frequently and she hates it. 

Everything is pain. 

And then one day she’s watching the pretty blonde girl snuggle with Eren and she realizes she’s watching her live her dream. 

She walks in drunk after another business gala she didn’t want to attend, but where Eren would have typically waited up for her before, now she finds him asleep on the couch with Historia, stupid Netflix movie still on and her heart breaks into a thousand tiny pieces because she’d had that. 

Not a month ago that had been her. He’d wait up and greet her with caramel M&M popcorn he’d made himself and she’d vent to him about all the awful men in suits. And now it’s not and it’s over forever and she doesn’t know if she can handle it. 

And then Eren is telling her he’s going to move out and enough is enough. 

[untamedyouth]

1/11/25

6:42 AM

As I lay next to my love absolutely snoring away peacefully, I can’t help but lay awake and think of how my week has gone thus far.

Tuesday (1/7/25), as I was already having a rough day- an old friend decided to try and rekindle a friendship. It was not a very welcome surprise. It actually felt more like an upheaval of my current life when I read the text from her.

She actually told me she stalked my socials before deciding to reach out; something about trying to see whether I grew out of my mental illness, that she’d reach out to me once I was ‘better’ again, but ultimately she decided “fuck it” and reached out to me anyway.

That sort of felt like a slap in the face. Almost insinuating that I wasn’t worthy of being friends with when I was struggling, or that I’m still not quite healed enough yet and she’s just choosing to overlook it like the bigger person.

I made the mistake about writing about her on my blog in the past and naming her. Not her full name, just the first. Apparently that was “a lot.” Which I still don’t quite understand considering? This is my personal blog and she came searching for it. I don’t have anyone from real life who actively follows me on here nor would I promote it to be. It’s very personal and essentially my online diary. I feel more catharsis being able to speak to the void of the internet instead of just keeping all my pain to myself in a hand-written journal. I’ve done that. And with every small like or reblog on some of my most heart wrenching posts, sometimes is all the acknowledgment and comfort I need to know that I’m not alone in what I’m feeling. But somehow she made me feel bad and icky for it. I never even wrote about how our friendship ended, only mentioning her briefly.

But why wouldn’t (or shouldn’t) I be allowed to write about my grief anyways? I was hurt and I needed an outlet. All in all after that, I essentially tried to go back through all my old entries and edit any names to only be initials. I’ve learned my lesson, you’re not allowed to write about ANYONE no matter what the circumstances are, unless you want it to come back and bite you in the ass. I think the worst part though, is the fact that she was still judging an action/decision I decided to make. It just always makes me feel like she thinks she’s morally superior than I am- that I’m just mentally ill degenerate scum she used to like and hang out with and enable.

But yeah. I’m writing about you again in case you’re reading this. Sorry. It’s easier than actually talking to you. I have such a high regard for you and your opinion of me, but I am far too scared of your judgement in order to speak freely with you.

I’m surprised she actually wants to still even try to be friends again after she clearly doesn’t like a lot of my personality. We had a pretty good phone call and I’m happy for that, but I still wasn’t quite sure whether I wanted to be full blown friends again immediately after that.

The final nail that sealed that coffin though was my mother. My mother hates her for how badly she hurt me (perceived or otherwise)- and as I called her up the next morning still crying about how judged I felt by this friend, mama bear mode came out, and without this friend there to take the brute of the anger, that leaves no one else but me to receive it when I was already in a vulnerable state. Needless to say I had a pretty bad self harm day and beat myself damn near silly. I felt like I needed to be punished. I’m a bad girl. I’m a bad friend. I’m a bad person. I was hysterical. It truly felt as though if I didn’t block this “friend,” my mother would hate me.

All while my boyfriend is advocating for me to stay true to myself and do what I feel is best. At that moment all I wanted was for my mama to not be mad at ma, so of course I choose my mother over this friend. I wasn’t even happy when she reached out to me in the first place. I didn’t want to deal with it. Even though I had day-dreamt about what that moment may be like if we ever talked again, once it was in the present- I just wanted it to end and go away.

It was this that made me realize that this isn’t a friendship worth rekindling. And while my mother may have had a heavy hand influencing my decision, I still was the one with final say and I decided that while we might not have to be entirely no contact, I can’t be good friends with her again for a very long time.

I think the worst part though is knowing that she will judge the fact that my mother had any part in my decision at all.

It is what it is.

I definitely miss her and we used to have a lot of fun together. But knowing she misses an old version of me that was deeply in pain; makes me wonder if she’ll even like this new version of me that I’ve invented.

The person I am now is better in leaps and bounds than how I used to be, and I don’t plan on going back. So… I actually don’t think I really care whether she likes the new me or not… I think I know I am good the way I am now, and I’d rather not have her judging my every move making me wonder if im good enough in her eyes or not. So that is ultimately the reason why we won’t be friends again. This is growth.

So uh, yeah. Peace

M.R

[prettytm]

@architaciturn { x }

"You belong to me."

The words fall on deaf ears, he'd be horrified when later he realizes what he's said in the height of passion, that words he's hoarded in the privacy of his own mind were unleashed on the vampire. He fears how easily they could be misconstrued. He doesn't mean those words in the way he knows Szarr use to spit them, they were not a call of ownership, a dark reminder Astarion's body and mind weren't his own.

When Billy utters them, they mean something wholly different. They were a claiming of his heart, his soul, something deeper than anyone else could have ever claimed for their own. Astarion was his. As surely as the sun sinks beneath the horizon to once again greet the morning sky. The the certainty of the stars in the heavens he knew that theirs was a fate neither could have expected but had been written in stone.

Yet there is fear of how the pale elf might respond to hearing them. He never wants to cause his panic that he had exchanged one master for another. After all.. He had been merely a gift to help ensure an alliance. How could Cazador have known that would be the last nail in his coffin.

"My Little Star." He breathes against a nest of white curls, scenting him with the roughness of his beard and the oils and creams he uses. He smirks as he moves to bite into his nape of his neck, a hand slowly running between his thighs to grip his cock to stroke him teasingly. "How needy you are tonight.. Have you missed my cock so badly? It's been.. Two, three days?" The words are a husky, breathless whisper. The fingers that had hooked inside his mouth have remained until just then. He withdraws them to swirl in the milky seed painted across his stomach and thighs, a combination of their sticky mess before then feeding them deep and deeper pass the slit of his lips, choking him prettily with three slender but long digits. "I suppose I understand.. You're so use to being fucked senseless daily.. How could you not miss what's yours? Hmm? Do you think you're sweet enough to take more.. Or should your king wait until you've recovered?"

[raincitygirl76]

Their tragic little munchkin FACES!!! This scene still makes me a little sniffly even though I’ve seen it multiple times now. They both look so stricken at the end of this argument.

And I know this scene is absolutely crucial to the plot arc of the entire season. This is the scene that finally drives home to Wilhelm that Simon isn’t coming back. Simon says specifically that he can’t accept Wille’s position. He’s never said that flat out before. He’s reminded Wille that he used to trust Wille and Wille hurt him badly when he let his family pressure him into lying about the video. But before this scene, Simon had never before said the words, “I can’t accept your position or your family.”

I think in earlier S2 episodes, Wille still thought he had a shot. If he could only convince Simon to accept that their relationship has to be a secret, Simon might still come back. But Simon has made it crystal clear here that’s not possible. Ever. Also, Simon is (apparently) happy with a new guy who’s not in the closet. Someone with a normal life, not a public figure, not royalty, someone who can make Simon happy.

Now actually, Marcus is a manipulative asshole, and in the previous episode Simon broke up with him. Only to have his childhood trauma weaponized against him when Marcus convinced him he was too damaged by his parents’ dysfunctional marriage to recognize a healthy romantic relationship when he was in one. Which, I still pretty much want to punch Marcus in the nose for. When someone breaks up with you, be sad or angry. Don’t convince them their perception of reality is fatally flawed and they don’t know what they want. But luckily you’re here to explain to them they don’t want to break up with you after all.

But the point is Wilhelm doesn’t KNOW Marcus is a manipulative asshole Simon has been trying very hard to dump. All he knows is what he’s seen and what Simon has told him about Marcus. And Simon’s dialogue here is very cleverly written. He never actually says “I’m happy with Marcus, and he’s a great boyfriend.” He just shrugs and offers justifications for why Marcus isn’t so bad. None of which are about Marcus himself, they’re really about Wille’s own actions when he and Simon were dating in S1.

But I digress. The point is, Wilhelm has finally heard an irrevocable rejection from Simon, and he no longer has any hope he can convince Simon to change his mind. Wille knows he CAN’T come out, and now he also knows Simon CAN’T compromise on that. Wille can no longer fool himself he can talk Simon round. Moreover, Simon has met someone new who can give him everything Wille can’t.

And that’s when Wille realizes it doesn’t matter what he wants, it matters what Simon wants. And Simon has been very clear he wants to move on. Wille can either keep getting in the way, thus making them both miserable, or he can accept it’s over. Wille still loves Simon, but he needs to show that love by prioritizing what’s right for Simon, not for himself. It’s more important that Simon is happy than that Simon is with Wille. And Marcus makes Simon happy.

Now, as if happens, Wilhelm is totally wrong. Simon is NOT over him, and he has no strong feelings for Marcus. But Wille had to give up on their relationship. And he had to do so sadly but lovingly, not in a resentful or angry way. He had to explicitly accept that they’re done, Simon doesn’t love him any more, and no longer chasing Simon is the right thing to do.

Plus the final nail in the coffin, that sad-eyed, “Your boyfriend seems really nice.” With the unspoken subtext of, “Simon, I was a shitty boyfriend to you, and I’m sorry for everything. You found someone who’s better for you than me, and I’m determined to be glad for you.”

All that happens later this same episode. And it hurts like hell watching Wille be a brave little toaster and putting Simon first even though his heart is breaking. Making polite chit-chat at the party with Marcus and Simon as if Simon and he are just classmates with no history.

But Wilhelm giving up on chasing after him was a necessary precondition for Simon to realize his ex-boyfriend giving up on their relationship is actually the LAST thing he wants. He’s been saying that’s what he wants since the start of the season, and at the time, he genuinely thought it was true. But when Simon gets what he thought he wanted, he panics.

He chases Wilhelm out onto the terrace where Wille has gone to try and compose himself. Because, you know, he just ripped his own heart out of his chest and smiled at Simon while he did so. Trying so hard to be a good person, and put Simon’s happiness above his own. And then Simon kisses the HELL out of him.

Never would’ve happened if not for the hurty, hurty argument in the locker room in the gifs above. So their stricken faces are easier to look at now. Now I know that scene was the turning point that allowed this episode to end with them kissing on the terrace, and then beaming at each other back inside when the choir performance started, and Simon’s solo was basically a serenade. Did he ever look away from Wille’s face while he was singing, even once? I’m positive Wille’s eyes were glued to him.

They had hope for the future again. A possible future together.

YOUNG ROYALS | 02.04 for anonymous

[nightmare--artist]

The Messenger Wiki

Creator of Character: NightmareArtist/aka me.

Current Name: The Messenger.

Past Name: Xavier Midren.

Time frame from when he was alive: early 1800's

Nicknames: Message man, Messenger, No face, "masked" man, faceless,

Possible Quotes: "This'll be the last message/letter you will ever receive." "As this letter ends so does your life." "You will regret the choices you have written out in permanent pen infront of you." "There is no escape from me." "Me and my letters will always find you with time."

Brithday: Tuesday, March 8th.

Gender: Male.

Blood Type: Black colored and a bit thick.

Nature: Corrupted Evil.

Age: Unknown appears to be somewhere in his 20's.

Height: 6'3

Family: Mom-> Claire Midren -deceased- Dad-> Varick Midren -deceased-

Friends: None, why would he need any?

Sexuality: Bi with a preference for guys.

Enemies: Anyone who maybe stronger then him, has a advantage over him, attacks him, or whoever he deems his next victim.

Love interest: None, there is no time for any of that.

Current Appearance: Short fluffy brown hair, brown eyebrows which are typically hidden under hair and or hat, no eyes, eyesockets are like deep dark voids, pale skin, no mouth and where a mouth should be is some scaring on the skin, he dosen't wear a mask it's just his face, pointed ears, razer sharp nails, sometimes a void like hole in chest, wears a white long sleeve button up with yellow buttons, medium dark brown pants with a yellow button on the front and the back of each leg to connect them to his socks, long black socks, brown boots with black laces, tan suspenders concted to a light brown belt with a buckle that's connected to the dark brown medium pants, carrys a light brown messenger bag with papers in it and on the inside of the bag it says "Xavier Midren", and wears a hat with different shades of gray and a black strap, there is a rip on the black strap as if something had been ripped off it. On his left back shoulder blade has a Zalgo marking and on his right upper arm there is a Slenderman marking on him.

Past Appearance: Pretty much the same clothing especially when he is working his hat didn't have a rip though, he liked to keep a form of good appearance everyday to make himself feel good, had a mouth, skin had more life to it, normal ears, no symbols on him, normal cut nails, had eyes and they were a green color.

Voice type: he can't speak now due to how he currently is but when he was alive he had a regular British accent to him.

Species: Unknown Humanoid like Enity.

Weaknesses: His head, if shot in it dead, or if head is bashed in dead. Like how a normal person would die from head injurys or zombie. Can't talk. Nets are another weakness, he can't seem to get free from them on his own normally. Staying too long around someone or something that has a major connection Slenderman or Zalgo, frist his head begins to hurt more and more then the marking on his skin for the specific subject starts feeling like it is on fire, which distracts him a lot sometimes. References to his past like his past name being said majorly confuses him. Small, dark, tight spaces, it brings him panic and reminds him of how he was stuck to die in a coffin.

Abilities: Can open a hole in his chest to stuff food in it typically he just uses his chest, can see just fine without eyes surprisingly, has great strength and really great speed, can make noises without a mouth like growling. Very stealthy. Any paper that comes out of his bag he can manipulate what he wants written on it. He can quickly heal, if wounded badly he'll heal completely in 3 or 5 days. He is very flexible he can undo his joints if needed or wanted and can turn any part of his body quite far.

Current Whereabouts: Deep forest or woods, sometimes near roads or in his old worn down home that can be found in a forest.

Weapons: His hands and his sharp fingernails.

Works for: No one, he doesn't like working for anyone from experience with working for Zalgo then Slenderman unwillingly. He avoids anyone or anything involving them at all costs, not wanting to fall back under one of their control. When he did work under someone he is used to get rid of bodys and evidence, to kill, also to give messages if needed.

Favorite food: Road kill, live people or animals.

Hobbies: Hunting/stalking people or animals, watching and feeling the rain, sleep till daylight is gone, sometimes sketch little drawings with pen and paper from his bag but this is rare to see happen he typically hides this.

How he kills: He has two ways, frist way is to stalk his pray, he follows them giving them a scare here and there till he finds the perfect time to finish them off or when he is bored enough to finally put an end to his victim's life after mental and or physical torture on them. The second way is that he is very forward with his approach, he sometimes waits on the side of a road and waits for a car or vehicle to come by and he jumps into the road and or creates a distraction to make the vehicle crash. The end result is always him tearing apart his victims and him putting the body parts inside his chest which is form of eating them and getting rid of evidence. Sometimes he does a mix of both ways. He learns new tactics from watching what others do or from what others are doing to him, he uses his letters to mess with his victims.

Personality: quiet, creepy, organized, secretive, impulsive, calm, manipulative, loner, observent, clever and a bit animal like.

Past Personality: kind, caring, hard worker[- dispite running late on some things but he always trys to make it all up in the end.-], oblivious to certain things, out going, believes in justice.

Backstory: The Messenger was a 1800's messenger named Xavier Midren. He lived in a small town named Riverwindnormindy. One day when he was doing his usual route of deliverys like everyday he does he saw something he shouldn't have seen in a alley and then out of fear he informed a nearby police officer at a station of what he saw. It all got taken care of, or so it seemed. Later that afternoon after he was done with work he was riding his bike home due to his family not having enough money for a car or anything like that, the way home went through the woods/forest, he was suddenly chased and attacked by people who were involved with the person he reported to authorities. They wanted to teach him a lesson he wouldn't forget even in death that lesson was to keep his eyes and mouth shut and to himself. They beat him up, he tried desperately to get away and fight back but it was no use, he then trys to scream for help, they quickly put him down to the ground and pinned him down to it, overpowering him. They then stitched his mouth up so he couldn't attract any unwanted attention. They proceeded to beat him up some more afterwards they decide they should wrap things up. They stabed his eyes out and buried him 7 feet in the ground in a coffin in the woods/forest he had an idea what they where doing to him by the feeling of being shoved into a box like thing and the sound of dirt hitting a hard surface. He tried the best he could with the strength he had to bang on the coffin, he tried his best to make as much noise as possible, maybe there could be hope. . .? These actions and hope is all he could try to do and have. He kept at it till he eventually ran out of oxygen, sadly no one ever figured out where he was or what exactly happened to him. He died 7ft under the ground in the woods/forest all alone, in fear, in darkness, and in pain.

A more detailed version of his Backstory: ["The Lost History of the Messenger" Backstory|http://aminoapps.com/p/urlm3aq]

~Guess that was the one message that shouldn't have been given.

Now: He dosen't really remember too much of his past life now. He came to be the way he is now from Zalgo wanting a new minion to control and use suddenly a while after his death when most everyone he knew was long gone and brought him back in a way that made him not really himself anymore mentally, emotionally, and physically, one thing led to another and The Messenger winds up working for Slenderman as a Proxy by being brainwashed by it, he gained a bit of a conscience at a certain point after a long while and realized he was being controlled he then manages to break free from both for now by pure luck and he stears clear of anything having to do with both Zalgo or Slenderman to not slip back under control again to either one of them. He tried to cut the markings off of his skin once but when his skin healed the markings slowly came back and it hurted like a motherf**ker when they slowly came back. It's like a punishment for attempting to take them off. Despite breaking free from Slenderman and Zalgo they still have a bit of control on him, messing with his brain and torturing his mental state till the day he finally comes back to one of their submissions. Slenderman is much more persistent then Zalgo most of the time. It's like a game messing and torturing The Messenger, whoever gains The Messenger on their side or kills him wins.

Fun facts:

•if you're up close with The Messenger he smells like a corpse.

•He is very possessive of his things.

•Had someone who had a crush on him when he was alive named Jefferson who was a colleague of his but he was oblivious to it.

•Barely has any family photos of his family.

•Lived in a two story house with a celler. Rooms were upstairs and bathroom and everything else was downstairs. Had some bookshelfs with books. Typically keeps his parents room locked so no one could mess with it. Has drawings he has drawn in a drawer in his desk in his bedroom, barely uses his bed for some odd reason. His house has been ransacked a few times and the place looks abandoned.

•Typically draws individuals with unique facial features or interesting physical appearance he has seen, come across, and or interacted with and sometimes stores the drawings in his desk.

•He is very flexible.

•Doesn't believe in kind gestures or love much, he believes the other's goal is to use him, he has trust issues.

•If you put your hand in his chest while opened it would feel like how a inside of a pumpkin feels - without the seeds and wall. And if you take your hand out it would be covered by a black substance, like his blood.

•If he cries for whatever reason it would be a gray watery substance.

•The black blood substance smells awful, like a decaying corpse if smelled.

•When it rains he likes to stare up at the rain as it drops on his face and into his eyesockets. He finds some sort of comfort in this.

•When creating him for the frist time these things came to my mind a lot: Windegos, Ghouls, Slenderman, Zalgo, urban legends in general, E.J., Ben Drowned, Jason The Toymaker, Zombies, Ticci Toby, Demons, things I learned of older history in World History in 9th grade, and Madame Macabre Creepypasta/FnaF songs.