#this was funnier in my head tbh

[leafuxxtea]

I feel like I haven't posted milgram stuff for a while now, so here's my contribution

[ambulancechaserss]

How I think ttcc managers would react to finding an abandoned baby except I’m being extremely unserious:

Pacesetter: would pick it up and run to get help but he runs so fast he gives it shaken baby syndrome.

Duck Shuffler: tries to sell it for gambling money

Rainmaker: trys to help but gets overwhelmed and cries with it

Chainsaw Consultant: actually takes care of it

Major Player: tries to sing to it to calm it down but makes it worse

Bellringer: also actually tries to take care of it

Deep Diver: tries to throw it in the water to teach it to swim

Firestarter: freaking out

Gatekeeper: straight up leaves it

Mouthpiece: probably the best with children out of everyone on this list. She adopts it.

Multislacker: tried to put the baby to sleep but falls asleep before the baby

Plutocrat: tries to teach it about stocks

Prethinker: does sone anime bullshit where he’s going to raise it to be the best and carry out his revenge or whatever but then he realized he doesn’t know shit when it comes to parenting

Treekiller: gives it an axe and throws it at a tree

Witch Hunter: trys it for trespassing

Im too lazy to write the rest LMAO

[hauntedkeys]

I want to change my url so something Jacob related so I could make a post like “Murder is bad but child sacrifice is worse” and someone can reblog and say “what an interesting post tumblr user jacobwickersdefenslawyer”

[meyerlansky]

[bullshitcharacterssay]

Thanks for answering my ask I would like to see the funny quote

Hvitserk: Ubbe is definitely my favorite brother.

Ivar, remebering all of the time Hvitserk stayed with him even though he was being a bitch: Are you sure about that?

Ubbe, remebering all of the time Hvitserk followed Ivar even though Ivar was being a bitch: Are you sure about that?

Bjorn, Sigurd, Ragnar, and everyone that has ever met Hvitserk and Ivar: Are you sure about that?

Hvitserk: UBBE IS MY FAVORITE BROTHER!!!!

[cemetery-irises]

of course i listen to rap (welcome to tally hall)

[an-unloving-god]

Apollo, upon finding out Ajay's backstory: And you've just been coping with... all of this???

Ajay: ...

Ajay: Opens an Iris call

Ajay: Hi Mr. D

Mr. D: Hi traumatized child number 3

Ajay: Am I coping?

Mr. D: Nope!

Ajay, turning back to their dad: Nope

[dualcasterjay]

me when i get overstimulated at the store but i'm still faggy about it

[kingollyorigami]

video games making the bible canon is so funny

also why did that happen to two of my favorite games help

[blue-83rry]

NO EEVEE YOUR LIFE IS WORTH IT PLEASE

[fetchmearum420]

The Congress doing the fitness gram pacer test: running:

Adams: does about 7 and then gives up

Jefferson: does the whole thing easily due to his long legs

Franklin: sleeps through it

Hancock: does about 50 and has to give up due to anger problems

Lee: easi-LEE does the whole thing

Dickinson: does 99/100 and flips his shit and throws things when he just missed the mark

Rutledge: only does it to boast about it later, but ends up failing

Thompson: cries because he doesn’t want to do it cuz he wants to read Washington’s dispatches

Wilson: Dickinson gives him a piggyback ride the entire time so he doesn’t get tired

Chase: fakes sick to get out of it

Rodney: actually is sick and dies

Hall: does the whole thing to show off to Rutledge, and Rutledge gets a boner watching him

McKean: is too busy taking care of Rodney

Read: fails after 1

Hopkins: does 5 but then leaves to use the privy after consuming too much rum

Sherman: can’t run to save his ass and fails after 2 but still thinks he’s in

Witherspoon: running too much is against his religion so he respectfully can’t participate

Hewes: trips and falls after moving one step due to nerves

Bartlett: does 90 and gets out due to yelling at everyone to stay in shape

Morris: abstains, courteously, from the competition

Livingston: is at home with his newborn son

[eyecrushr]

uhmmm yeah actually i do have opinions 🤓

[magicalgirlfia]

Reblog to get your followers stuck in Molasses Swamp until a 🟥 card is drawn.

gloppy btw. if you even care

[anyknotrants]

Tim: hey Dick, which do you thing Kon would like more?

Tim: *holds up 2 pairs of earrings, one sapphire, on diamond*

Dick: I don't know probaby, the sapphire

Tim: *nods and puts the diamond away*

Dick: what's the special occasion, anyway?

Tim: hm?

Dick: why are you buying Kon the earrings, is it your anniversary or something?

Tim: oh no, I just like buying stuff for him

Dick: *starts laughing*

Tim: what?

Dick: oh god, you're his sugar daddy!

Tim, blushing: I'm not- you buy expensive shit for Wally all the time! You're his sugar daddy!

Dick: I prefer the term; 'rich boyfriend',

Tim: ...

Tim and Dick: *turns to look at Jason*

Jason, checking out arrow-shaped ruby necklace: *looks up*

Jason: ... I plead the fifth

[vial0fhope]

Do you think Uraume could have cooked the humanity from a human's dead corpse?

[mackologists-r-us]