#this was certainly a thing to wake up to
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whys your art traced bro thats against TOS and copyright infringement. I'm going to report you.
It's literally not traced at all?? What makes you think it was traced? None of my art is traced, ever, I really don't know what you're talking about.
Legit who do you think I traced?
#this was certainly a thing to wake up to#so perplexed by this it's not traced???#I've never traced my art#and even if I did trace a piece I'd never share it#kind of flattered that you think it was too good to not be traced tho#traditional art#my art#art
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buckle up lads we're going BACK INTO THE BOOK
#art#twisted wonderland#twisted wonderland spoilers#lost in the book with nightmare before christmas#hajimari no halloween#(the origin of halloween huh) (oooh)#why yes i did wake up way too early to watch the stream and will have no memory of drawing this later#anyway THE MAGIC BOOK IS BACK TO EAT US ONCE AGAIN!!!!#this does make things make a lot more sense if it doesn't have to. y'know. actually take place in the established world#like how jack and sally are apparently just gonna be THERE as themselves WHY NOT#i'm certainly not complaining mind you#scully looks like he's gonna be super adorable and i love him already#spooky scary skeleman who just goes :O a lot and is excited for halloween#he seems like he might actually be more of a fusion of jack and sally? or maybe i'm just reading too much into it#still getting jazzy vibes off of him though. is not scully j graves an incredible jazz musician name.#does this open up the possibility that the last time we went into the book there was a sexy anime boy stitch just offscreen the whole time#...maybe some things are best left uncontemplated#god everyone in this event looks fantastic i'm so glad i saved up some keys after all#a little sad that there's no lilia but you know what the fact that a halloweentown malleus exists is still pretty dang good#and sebek's hat is SO tall#the biggest hat for the loudest boy#i hope oogie is here too i need him and jamil to meet#i need jamil to be faced with a guy who's just a bunch of bugs standing on each other's shoulders in a trenchcoat#i am not coherent right now i just needed to get this out before i go pass out again
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You know I've had a lot of posts on my dash about Lizzie including 3 fics... And all of them are about how she is ignored for the men.
I've not seen any of the content they're complaining about, and I've not seen any of the content they're asking for...
You know you can just... make content about Lizzie. Instead of content about the lack of content. You can just draw her or write about her or make headcanons and essays about her, instead of about how there isn't any.
We get it, nobody is talking about her. So, please just actually talk about her?
#id certainly love to see it but no ody is actually talking about her in favour of complaining that nobody is talking about her#its a really weird typw of irony#seriously the first thing i saw about lizzie on my dash like an hour after episode started dropping was someone already complaining#about it being made about jimmy before id even seen any posts about jimmy#secret life spoilers#traffic spoilers#but yeah just... make stuff? instead of souring the whole thing?#im also sick of hearing about the men lizzie is ignored for... and its these exact posts that are doing it and spreading it around#instead of being upset fans of jimmy are happy his 3 year 5 season long plot has concluded#posts ill def regret when i wake up but its 4 am and im so tired of not having any positive lizzie OR jimmy content on my dash#cause people are either complaining or too scared to be percieved as Part Of The Problem to make things for the characters they care about
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i am very grateful that im not someone that has to deal with daily seizures but it is evil when it takes like a week and a half's worth of business days to recover from a seizure
#if i had them everyday or every other day i would be so fucked 😭#id like to say they dont bother me per se but the entire week after is laying in bed after 11 pm and wondering if jts going to happen again#bc my head feels like its about to explode#and then do not get me started on the fear of getting in the shower within the first few days of one happening .#reasonably i understand that my seizures happen from 11pm to maybe 3 am on average .#but ill have a seizure and then have to hype myself up for like 2 hours just to take one 3 days later st like 2 pm#my seizures do not interfere with my day to day life in extreme ways but existing knowing that i have them during a certain time frame is#like. Hey man can you grow up#also it is really funny being told theyre probably hormonal or stress related and should 'probably stop' as i get into my mid 20s .#Well im turning 25 next month and evidently i still have seizure activity in me#also also heres a fun fact: my epilepsy does not have an actual named diagnosis they just said i certainly have a Form of it ❤️#they dont know what causes them and i have no real warning signs (bc a headache =/= potential seizure)#they dont bother me but i do have to live with the knowledge that i could have one any day now and wake up to my mom asking me questions#hope everyone can tell i have a lot of feelings about my epilepsy despite not talking about it like ever ❤️#the only thing that really bothers me is the no warning signs. ive been perfectly fine and had them. ive had massive migraines when i was#unmedicated and didnt have one. very bizarre#and ofc all my brain scans come back normal all the time so they dgaf Lol
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Just when I started to accept that this is the suckiest Christmastime I’ve experienced so far, I came home to find that this is the only decoration that we’ll have up this year 😶
#‘i just don’t feel like christmas this year’ yeah that’s why you decorate. you have to make the magic. sorry#i’m not allowed to put up any decorations because my mom can’t stand to have christmas decor up past new years#which means she’d have to take everything down while I’m with my fiancé… which is apparently bad and evil#this is one of my favorite times of year bc of the decorations and the food and the atmosphere#and I am having none of those things plus bonus stress and despair#all the family members who always make christmas memorable for me are sick or injured this year and it falls to us to fill the gaps#and by ‘we’ i really mean my mom. and. well. she is certainly in the gap. filling it? idk#wake me up when it’s time for me to fly to canada
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thinking about the miravi first time (which is different and distinct from the miravi first time thats actually canon in my mind... i can give them as many first times as i want its my ship) where its one of the few times miranda is so awkward and flustered and how that matches aaravi's awkwardness and flustered state, and miranda knows that aaravi is having some trouble due to the whole... monster thing, so she offers to strip first and let aaravi touch her first. and it being very cute and sweet and awkward, only switching over into something with more passion and confidence right at the very end when theyve already had their dicks out for a good hour beforehand - almost certainly after aaravi cums inside miranda for the first time and realizes. OH. THE KNOT IS GOING TO BE AN ISSUE. and that she cant pull out afterwards and is just going to be stuck there for a bit. to which miranda's response is of course that this is no problem, gets aaravi to hold on so she can flip the both of them over so that shes on top of aaravi, and just goes ham rutting against her and making her cum over and over again with her internal textures and core muscles until they both pass out.
and then the morning afterwards, its the single best sleep aaravi's ever had, and her and miranda just kinda lay with each other in bed, kissing and being sweet and touching each other without going too far with it, and it's just cute and a fun time
#all the care guide says is 'biomass'#miravi.txt#aaravi feels a lot better and less awkward about the. Everything. afterwards.#least of all because she was moderately terrified miranda would abandon her afterwards#so it was just. nice to wake up surrounded by scales.#nice to have miranda be sleepy and have a sleepy morning together#only really departing when aaravis ready and they both have other stuff to do#and its clear that miranda very clearly wants her to stay#miranda might be. very fucked up. but shes really good when it comes to aftercare and the morning afterward#she will get aaravi breakfast and it will be damn good#aaravi showers and its certainly Strange to use mirandas shower but miri shows so many small kindnesses#making sure she has enough towels. asking about what kinda soaps or anything she needs.#being very polite and knocking before coming in and being very aware to avert her eyes unless#its clear that aaravi doesnt mind being seen in the nude. less because its not something miranda hasnt already seen last night#and moreso because shes aware of the relationship aaravi has to her body and not wanting to do anything that might bother her#just. things that make aaravi feel like this clearly wasnt just a one off thing#where miranda wanted to get her rocks off and leave#its nice for aaravi to feel welcomed in and safe with someone who cares about her#nice to wake up with someone whos happy to see you still there
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listen. i love pizza tower with my whole heart & mind. you know this. you Know. but first and foremost i am a character design bitch, and the pizzas are, frankly, very bland. this is not a critique or a complaint, because obviously That's Not The Point and more importantly i would be horrified if anyone tried doing that much animation with anything more complex than what's there. but also it means when i get a taste of some truly whack ass insane design work again it is like fuuuucking catnip
#ive been DEPRIVED......#pizza business is on hiatus i need to play lethal league for 50 hours and make a surely ill-fated cosplay about it#it really is unfortunate fake pep could have been a fun cosplay for the way i wanted to go about it#but for all the schematics i had sketched out it was never a thing i wanted to get up and actually try to Make#and then i wake up the next day after playing llb once and go like oh. ohhhhhh. i need to be doombox irl#and because of that realizing. oh that was misplaced idle thoughts before; i never actually wanted to do fp for real#i was just on that train bc 1. very passionate about the game obviously [and he was kind of my only option to rep pt] and 2.#i think it was a lot of leftover inertia from my PREVIOUS cosplay idea [baozhai from indivisible] that i also never pursued#lots of Makin Stuff drive still existing but not having a place to go.#fp was certainly more doable than baozhai so it was easy to latch on but#still not....really the kind of thing i actually Enjoy making#this one though. ohgghhgh i feel it. i feel the cosmos#i still dont think i'm actually going to complete it. the current projection is that i just make a shitty prototype and then#realize how impossible and unfun this is gonna be and then drop it. [but its fine bc i still got to make stuff and got the idea out]#however. that first pizza comic was also originally a single-image prototype to get the idea across bc#i didn't think i would actually draw out that whole thing either.#so i guess we'll just see what happens. now won't we.#poor fuckin noisette comic 2 man i put it off for so long and then finally get into it and then this happens#ill get back on it eventually this is just something i have to indulge while i have it and get it out of my system#its like evangelion. sometimes you have to write 8k words of analysis. and sometimes you gotta make a really stupid cosplay#anyway hey i should post the fp cosplay schematics huh. i meant to back when i first did them but then didnt. whoops#bweeeaaahh
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the middle school principal wants to hire me in a full-time position so bad.
and who can blame him? i'm that substitute 💅
#he outright asked me today if i'd be interested in being a para and i told him i'm taking in-person classes right now for school#on tuesdays and thursdays so i can't do that#it's certainly something i have in my mind as a possibility#and frankly. i LIKE school like i like taking classes but in a very real sense. i prefer working#i'm a lot more comfortable working as a sub now than i was a year/year and a half ago#even on days where i get tossed around a lot like today it's like yeah whatever. i can adapt#especially if it's at the middle school as opposed to the high school#the high school... it sucks. in some ways. i don't hate going there but the admin is.... eeeugh#actually the whole district admin has some problems but the middle school admin is very bearable#tales from diana#i do turn 26 this year though and i'm gonna need health insurance. i've been very aware of that too in the time i've been subbing#yeah i like taking classes it's just hard to explain why i'm not like in the swing of things#ive never worked this many hours while taking in-person classes before at the same time#and the days i sub i have to get up earlier which is a bitch but it's so. like. yeah whatever i can do that#the largesse of a college campus is so strange to me after having taken a 2-year pause in my education#not to mention the commute which is long on both sides of the day#i dont actually wake up THAT much earlier to go to my class it's only like 90 minutes extra sleep anyway#when i sub i'm almost immediately *doing something* in my day. college is a lot of wandering and waiting around#the lack of business that i feel compared to being in a public middle or high school makes the day somehow no less weary for me#i hope i get more used to it i guess#i'm still not used to my new 5-day schedule of babysitting/class/subbing/class/subbing#every friday no longer feels like a friday and it's super odd to me#like it's delightful to be reminded that it's friday but i don't feel at all like it's even been 1 week#idk. yeah. everything's different now
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flipped a coin and decided im not leaving the house today. unrelated but I've been waking up with splitting headaches regardless of how well i slept and food&water&caffeine intake, every single day for the past week
#BLOGGING LOUDLY#i certainly NEED to there are things i NEED to do#but i got a rude awakening re: my body falling apart from stress so#im forcing myself to rest and reduce my immediate stress!!! im RESTING damnit!!#i will still clean whatever i can. and shower if i can manage#lately my ears have been ringing really really bad and i realized its because im ignoring like 7-8 level pain in other places#and i kinda stopped digesting food properly the other day#sooooooo.... i am in fact listening to my body. im trying. im not doing the stressful things. I'm reducing thoughts about work. taking meds#etc#man i really only went about about 10 days before the 'headaches so bad they WAKE ME UP in the morning' came back#those started in january
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#horrible awful no good very bad day#apparently last night the apartment below ours caught fire and we were out of town#and we didnt find out til several hours later from our neighbor who had to track me down on facebook- we didnt hear a thing#from the apartment in any official capacity until like? 10 hours after the fire?#anyway we rushed home supremely early from a friend trip that was like#meant to be very good and fun#anyway so we rush home because no one can tell us if our cats are okay#and they were but our whole apartment is supremely smoky and all of our possessions are extremely smoky#and we cant stay there or let the cats stay there because of the smoke and soot and particles it just doesnt feel safe#so now im in my partners familys house which is like#fine but its full of people and i dont feel fully comfortable and i cant fully relax and and and and and etc etc etc etc#and tomorrow i have to wake up early and go over there and find out what if anything the complex plans to do about it and how long its gonna#be until we can come back safely. or more likely get more noncommittal answers and be unsure#and i dont know how long i can stay here and be normal#AND to top it all off i paid like 60$ to go to an aquarium i didnt even get to go to . but yknow. all of my friends got to !#and like im happy for them but no one was excited as i was and now i get to ruminate on how everyone got to do the fun thing i love#while i was stuck doing 17 loads of laundry and bathing the soot out of my cats fur in someone elses house#certainly it could be worse and im glad my cats are fine and im glad its just smoke damage and not yknow. Burn damage#but im having a sad little pity party anyway because i was supposed to have an amazing beautiful day ending in a relaxing evening#in my own home#and now i have to cope with all of this instead. all i want to do is cry#and also like. im scared we will have to move#but im also scared we wont... because like#i think it was a gas issue. and knowing that that happened in my building? and also knowing how much landlords love to halfass#repairs and everything else#i just dont know how safe i will feel there#even if they tell me its fine#anyway sorry for the tag vent post again my old ways will never die#ghost posts
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Shipping real people is so gross TF get a life
sending anon hate is so gross TF get a life
#anon#listen babes i have to wake up at 6am on mondays and i am NOT a morning person#so you decided to fuck with exactly the wrong person today#could i just delete this? oh yes and in fact i almost did#i have no need or desire to justify myself to you 🤷♂️#but like i mentioned... i am NOT a morning person. in fact i hate everyone and everything in the mornings#and you've just given me the chance to take it out on you xx#so here goes#the thing about rpf is that it gets a really bad rep but in all honesty it's not *that* different to any other fandom culture#i say this because rpf = real person FICTION. it is inspired by the versions of public figures that we get to see on our screens#(exactly like other fanfic/shipping is about fictional characters portrayed by actors)#in neither case do the characters we are 'shipping' actually exist - and most people are perfectly aware of that#(YOU anon are probably not! but let me tell you this: the versions of celebrities *we* get to see are their public selves and#almost certainly not the same versions as who they are behind closed doors and with no cameras. AND THAT'S THE WHOLE POINT)#it's still a character of sorts who people are taking inspiration from. and as long as it's never brought to the attention of the real#real person in question; then there is absolutely NO harm to it#let people find joy and inspiration wherever they want; anon!#but you probably don't understand either concept ('joy' or 'inspiration')#because your idea of 'fun' is coming into other people's private fandom spaces and attempting to bring them down#like the worst kind of high school bully except that you are even more fucking cowardly because you don't even have the grace to#say anything directly to our faces. nooooo you have to hide behind the anon function because you KNOW what you're doing is wrong#dickhead.#that is all i have to say to you!#hope you have a properly awful Monday anon - as joyless and inspirationless as you evidently are xx
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this is one of my favorite lines in the entire game btw
#maybe my favorite one in general#the last line in element after eichi wakes up and sees tori yuzuru and wataru around him#and natsume and tsumugi's brand new unit#and yeah after everything that happened at wataru's execution and the end of the war who could have thought there would be a happy ending?#it certainly hadn't crossed eichi's mind but things ended up working out#it's such a good. summary of ! era#the aftermath of a dark period#where they are healing and managing to live happily ever after#idk it's really nice#something abt eichi seeing tori first thing after waking up and immediately hugging him#he has found people who love him unconditionally!#this close to rereading element rn#enstars#mar's midnight rambles
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Got the idea of getting a tattoo for my dad, & my sister said she'd be willing to get a matching one with me
This, of all things, has made me cry again for the first time in days
#speculation nation#not a bad cry necessarily. certainly not the chest aching breath gasping kinds of cries i had when things were more fresh#just a few quiet tears. the ache of knowledge that hes gone#and the quiet wish to keep a permanent memento of him. to match how he's formed my very soul.#i had another dream about him last night. another moment of unconscious acceptance.#the first one. i think it was near the start of the week. i was exploring what was in-dream an old school he went to#looking for signs of his old life.#& in the end i jumped down the center of a tall stairwell. with no fear bc i had something to break my fall.#it felt like release. and acceptance.#last night's dream. i dont remember most of it. but i remember seeing him in-dream#then remembering he was actually dead with an ache of true wrongness.#it felt like a different kind of acceptance. one step at a time the truth sinking into my psyche#because he still doesnt feel dead. not really. but with each passing day it becomes a little more real.#i still wish this was a nightmare i could wake up from. or a bad route i could reload a save to avoid.#i sometimes do dream of the deaths of people i love. and i have certainly dreamt of my father's death.#but this time it's real. and i cant wake up from it.#at this point i can only hope to have dreams of him alive again. just like how my dead cats still live in my dreams.#i wish i didnt have to dream of it. i wish he was still here.
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current state of politics really got me swerving wildly between "yes I want to present as a man" and "oh god is this even worth it maybe I'm not even really trans" and it's bringing me to my limit
#damien.txt#sorry its like 5 am and i havent slept and wanna vent so. here inam#i really do be having a wild time bc ill have like. weeks at a time where ill be like. wait a second. what if im not trans actually#okay well. never in a 'im 100% not trans' way but in a 'maybe i shouldnt transition' way#and then ill have a day where i wake up and go. oh. i think that feeling is just coming from fear about. the current state of trans issues#because oh my FUCKING GOD am i scared like 24/7 bc of that shit#and so like. then im like. maybe i really am like. actually transmasc. fr. bc i like. literally have been feeling it my whole life.#and then i wake up a couple weeks later back at the beginning like hmm....... but..... what if....#and im so tired of not knowing!! it's fucking exhausting questioning what the fuck is happening w me every 2 seconds#and im being dramatic abt it but idk. i think its a symptom of neurodivergence or something bc im like. so so scared abt being trans atm#at a level that is. certainly unhealthy.#and it really feels like something that is inhibiting me from doing things in life which is like. upsetting y'know!#but at the same time. the concept of going thru life as my birth gender is... bad. sort of inconceivable at this point.#and this is particularly hard bc like. really going back and forth on making decisions abt taking T. bc when i get in these spirals#abt maybe not being trans. i get the urge to not take it. but like. i cant fluctuate w a medicine like that that much!#but at the same time when i go back to being like oh yeah transmasc... my brain is like cool. take T again. so. fuck me i guess.#idk man. im just like. i just want to live my life without being perceived by others actually#my true gender is no one's business <3 thanks#i am. tired.
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Giving nicknames, testing boundaries (Patreon)
#Doodles#SCII#Helix#Max Vyer#Dexter Favin#How /did/ Max come to like him so much in just two years? I have my theories :3#More Teen Max!! Nothing has changed I just continue to love him lol#Two years is a pretty quick turnaround for such a stubborn kid - though I guess for a child two years can be a long time haha#Went from just hating Dex's guts of trying to drive him away and make him quit and hating being kept on a short leash#Does make me wonder how much of him kissing him was an impulse - I mean obviously lol but how much was genuine attraction!#Certainly seemed like a lot :0 Even upon being rejected he couldn't give it up! Still took him another several years to act again tho haha#I mean - in the text lol who knows what they got up to in the time skips hehe ♪#AnyWay lol - them getting used to each other of slowly working into tolerating each other#Max said something in one of his wake-ups that as I read it implied Dexter was something of a polyglot?? Which - love that ♪#If not conversationally-fluent then at tourist-fluent y'know I think that's great <3#Which got me thinking about other languages and insults and curses haha#I like the idea of Dex only really strong-arming Max about Actual deviant behaviour - something that puts himself or others at risk#Harmless little things like any teen would do - like name-calling! Haha - just get a kind of neutral ''Huh''#As well as interest <3 Not an outright dismissal not a lecture but at least the appearance of investment!#Considering Max's home life I can't imagine he had all that many people genuinely (or fake) interested in his shenanigans#All about suppressing the symptoms more than rooting out the cause it's amazing what just showing a little interest can do#I also just think it's cute of Max getting away with something silly and harmless but totally biting and mean! <in his mind haha#Silly lad <3
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there’s so many writing choices in this film that i could gripe about but i can’t deny the way the end scenes have me chewing dry wall. we’ve just spent the entire film seeing alex paint himself as the victim in all of this, a hapless bystander swept into the insanity of nigel’s world and having to pay the price for it. there’s little hints here and there that maybe there’s more to the story - e.g. nigel’s comment about alex and susan (to which alex offers immediate refutation) - but there’s never any real and clear indication. until the end. until we get that 9 month time skip and we see sally pulling up to the cemetery. until we learn that susan’s grave has been dug up and the skull stolen. and then the train scene my god, the reality sets in that alex has been playing them this entire time, that he’s become the very thing nigel always wanted him to be. the ending to this film is both the end of alex’s story and the beginning of jack’s.
#i'm hitting a slump lately and motivation is low so have the incoherent ramblings of a mildly sleep deprived lunatic#but i always have the end of this movie on my mind#especially because i'm obsessed with it all from the pov of forbes sr. of all things?? imagine being alex's dad#your son is suspected of the murder of both susan and nigel#and then you find out he's basically been tormented by the very kid he tried to WARN you about right from the start#but you didn't take it seriously and chalked it up to his usually dramatic antics and need to act out for attention#but then it turns out that kid was not only responsible for the murder of his own parents and 2 other students#but may very well have almost killed alex that night at the railway yard#so you take him home and you try to get things back to the closest approximation of normality that you possibly can#but you've never been particularly close to your son. you struggled to form a connection with him before#and you're certainly not any better at it now after everything that's happened#so you give him space and you tell yourself that it will be alright#and then 1 day. 9 months after. you wake to find your son is gone. packed up and left#not only that. but you find out the police suspect he was lying this entire time and the grave dug up by him#what do you do? do you look for him? do you believe the police - believe your own child capable of any of the things they describe???#anyway i just have a lot of thoughts about alex's dad post-film . clearly#like minds#alex forbes#i love that john colbie gets a name but alex's dad is 'headmaster'
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