#wake me up when it’s time for me to fly to canada

[rurinnfane]

Just when I started to accept that this is the suckiest Christmastime I’ve experienced so far, I came home to find that this is the only decoration that we’ll have up this year 😶

[flemingsfreckles]

Physio’s Daughter Part 6

Jessie Fleming x Reader

Read the other 5 parts HERE

Warnings: just cursing and the angst :)

WC: 4.3k

A/N: okay, so I know the opponents don’t match up with who Canada will actually play in the group stage of the Olympics but I’m a superstitious mfker and I don’t want to be responsible for jinxing anything, so they’re playing different teams.

You had never been on a private plane, it was definitely a different experience flying with the Canadian team than on a regular plane, however it didn’t make your dislike of flying any better. You were nervous walking up the stairs to the plane, you were nervous walking down the aisle, you were nervous when you sat down in the incredibly large and surprisingly comfortable chair. Your nerves only grew when you felt someone plop into the seat next to you only to look over and see Jessie with her sweet smile looking at you.

“Hi.”

“Oh this has got to be a joke.” You don’t mean to say it out loud but you do. Jessie’s smile falls when she hears your words.

“Nope.” She holds her phone out to you showing her ticket that shows she was indeed sitting next to you. “Sorry, I can see if someone will switch.”

You don’t respond to her, she has every right to sit there but you didn’t know how you were going to handle being next to her for such a long period of time. She stands up and you watch her scan the plane looking for a teammate to switch with.

“Sit down Jeff, you're holding us up.” One of her teammates waiting in the aisle says, she listens not wanting to start any issues. She plops down with a sigh into the seat next to you.

She definitely didn’t help your nerves, now you were nervous about the actual flying and spending the 8 hour flight next to the woman you were attracted to, but couldn’t have. You sat in silence as she got herself situated in her seat. Grabbing out a pair of headphones, a bottle of water, and a bag of dried fruit.

She didn’t say anything to you and you didn’t say anything back. That was until the plane started pushing back.

You were clutching onto your arm rest with one hand, your phone in the other as your tried to shuffle through songs to find one to make the plane ride less miserable. Subconsciously your knees were both bouncing aggressively, trying to get out your nerves.

“You alright?” Jessie points at your knees.

“I hate flying. It just feels unnatural, you know?”

“I guess, it’s never bothered me much. I try to sleep

most of the time. It’ll be okay.” She puts out a hand on the small table between your seats. She’s offering to hold your hand.

You look at it for a second, before deciding to turn her hand down. You shake your head to indicate you were good, you didn’t need to hold someone’s hand, you were an adult. Except it was then that the plane began down the runway to take off, the plane rattling, making you reach for her hand just as she was about to pull it away.

You interlock your fingers and grip her hand tightly. You’re sure your hands are sweaty and clammy which is embarrassing. Jessie gives your hand a gentle squeeze as you feel the plane lift off. You look over at her and she mouths the words “it’s okay”.

Despite the flight being at night you didn’t sleep for a second. Jessie fell asleep less than an hour after take off, you felt her grip on your hand relax and you looked over to see her seat slightly reclined, her head back and her eyes shut. She looked peaceful and beautiful. Realizing your own thoughts you turn away from her, kicking yourself for thinking about her. You also pull your hand away, placing it into your own lap to pick at the skin on your thumb.

It’s a long and restless eight hours and you’re thankful when you get the announcement that the plane would be landing soon. The announcement wakes up Jessie, she shifts in her seat, making a few soft groans before her eyes blink open.

“Did he say we’re almost landing?” She asks, sliding her headphone off.

“Yeah, shortly.” You let her know.

“Oh wow, did I sleep the whole flight?”

“I think so, I’m not sure.” You didn’t want her to think you had been paying attention to her, you had been, stealing glances at the girl beside you every 15 minutes to just admire her, and envy her ability to sleep.

“Did you sleep?”

“Yeah a bit.” You lie.

She gives you a smile and her arm extends to give you a quick pat on the shoulder. “Good, see I told you it wouldn’t be that bad.”

As you approach the ground Jessie offers her hand again, only this time you’re smart enough not to take it. “Landing doesn’t bother me as much as taking off.” You tell Jessie, another lie, it still terrified you just as much.

Once you’re on the ground, you remove your hands from the armrest where you’re pretty sure you made indents with your fingers from gripping so hard. Everyone files off the plane and onto buses. You get on the bus and pick the seat next to your Mom, not wanting to risk an open seat next to you being taken by a certain brunette.

“Convenient seating on the plane eh?” Your Mom nudges you.

“Please stop.” You grumble at her. You were tired from your inability to sleep on the plane, overwhelmed from the stress and ready to be in bed. You were also bothered as she was the one making it such a big deal that you had a crush on Jessie, she shouldn’t get to joke around about it.

“Oh don’t be so uptight.” You stuck your headphones back on, and leaned over to place your head on your Mom’s shoulder. The bus ride was about an hour, most of which you passed by finally being able to sleep.

The next few days went by quickly, the players busy with training, photo shoots, drug tests, interviews, meetings, you hardly saw the players except during training or physio appointments. It worked out well for you, being able to avoid Jessie for the majority of each day. You got to go out and explore the city, most of which you did with Olivia, one of the other staff members.

Olivia was your assigned roommate for the trip, she was the other youngest staff member, still 2 years older than you. She worked primarily with the media team. She was blonde, tall, and loud. She was exactly your type.

You two quickly became close, learning to navigate the new city together, only a couple of times getting lost. You would get up and get coffee together each day, trying as many cafes as possible. You’d walk around with your coffee, enjoying the sites and the quiet mornings before you’d both split to go work, you to the training room while Olivia would go gather her camera gear and head to the pitch. On the pitch she would come over to you, talking to keep you company.

Olivia was nice, she worked as a good distraction, when you weren’t face to face with Jessie at training, you were able to keep her out of your mind, instead you kept Olivia in your mind.

The first few games of the group rounds were easy, Canada easily beating Japan 3-0, then drawing with Germany 1-1. The last group stage game was a 2-0 win over Brazil. You had just finished up work, giving players treatment after their first knockout game against Australia, a nerve wracking 1-0 victory.

It had been a long day, when you got back to your hotel room Olivia was already there, sitting at the desk working.

“Hi!” She smiled at you when you walked in. “You look exhausted.”

“Gee thanks.” You reply sarcastically as you flop yourself onto your bed, face down into the blanket. You were grateful that the semi final game wouldn’t be for 3 days. You’d still have work when the players trained, but it wouldn’t be all day and into the night like match days were.

“I took photos of you today, want to see them?” Olivia asked as you remained faced down on your hotel bed. You rolled over and sat up, looking across to the desk where she was editing on her computer, your face on the screen.

“Why did you take photos of me?” Skeptical of what she meant, you pushed yourself off the bed and over to stand behind her chair. The photo on her computer screen was a photo of you, talking with Ashley Lawrence as you wrapped her wrist with tape.

She clicks to the next photo, it’s one of you carrying a medical bag out from the tunnel onto the field. She clicks again. It's one of your Mom and Sarah chatting on the bench looking at paperwork.

“Well it’s more photos of the whole staff, you all don’t get enough recognition for what you do, so I asked my manager if I could spend some time taking photos of you all working, to make a little appreciation post.” She keeps flipping through the photos, there are a lot of you, some of you with players, some of you with other staff and then a lot of you just alone, standing watching the game, a couple of you on the pitch, treating a player for a cramp, one of you on the phone.

“You photograph well.”

“Oh.” You blush, you’re not sure what to say to the compliment. “Thanks, it’s probably more your photography skills.”

Olivia turns away from the computer to look up at you. Her eyes wander over your face for a minute before she says “Nope, pretty sure it’s just you.” There’s a moment of silence between the two of you before Olivia pushes back from the desk and over to her backpack. “You know, if you want, I have my personal camera, I can take photos of you while we’re out.”

Her comment brought you back to your text conversation with Jessie from weeks ago, when she offered to be your personal photographer on your travels.

“That sounds nice, tomorrow?”

“Yeah I’m free, obviously, since we have the same schedule.” She laughs. “Sounds good, we can do some sightseeing, and then maybe lunch?”

“Perfect.” You sit down behind Olivia as she turns back to looking at photos, watching over her shoulder as she continues to go through photos of the players. Every time Jessie pops up on her screen you feel a flutter in your stomach. You were doing such a good job of avoiding her, not thinking about her, here you were still having feelings about her when you were about to embark on your day with Olivia tomorrow.

Your phone rings, you scurry over to it, Jessie’s name on the screen. You answer.

“Hi.”

“Hi.” Her voice is soft, gentle, you could listen to her talk for hours.

“What’s up?”

“You’re off tomorrow, I’m off tomorrow. Can I finally get that coffee date?” She then quickly corrects herself. “Not a date, but us getting coffee, but not a date, us, coffee, tomorrow. And not coffee where its me bringing it to you in your office.”

“Um, yeah I can probably make that work. I’m going around with Olivia to do some sightseeing, but we can probably go later in the morning, we can grab coffee early”

“Oh, okay, never mind. That’s alright, enjoy your time with her.” You can hear the defeat in her voice.

“No Jess it’s-” you hear a beep and you then realize she hung up.

You put the phone down, slumping down to sit. Sure you were the one who maybe turned her down a little, but the way she hung up aggressively on you hurt.

“Jess? As in Fleming?” Olivia looks at you.

“Yeah, her and I are, we’re friends sorta. We’ve been trying to get coffee for a couple weeks but we’ve both been busy.

“Like a date?”

“Oh no, not a date.”

“Oh. Well you can go get coffee with her, I’m okay if we go mid morning instead.”

“Well she just hung up on me so, I’m not sure if it’s even an option.” You shrug.

“Alright then we can start early if that’s better. We can grab coffee and then do some sightseeing?”

The next morning you woke up to the sound of the shower starting, Olivia already awake and getting ready for the day. You check the time, it’s 7:40, technically sleeping in given your regular schedule. You lay in bed staring at the ceiling waiting for the bathroom to be free.

Olivia comes out in only a towel, making your eyes temporarily widen before you relax them.

“Oh sorry, I didn’t meant to hog the bathroom.” She smiles when she sees you’re also awake.

“Oh, no worries.” You roll yourself out of bed and head into the bathroom yourself. “I’m going to shower and then I’ll be ready to go.” You shower quickly and step out wrapping yourself in the soft towel. You dry your hair and open the door walking over to your suitcase, Olivia is already dressed, packing a small bag for the afternoon camera gear spread across her bed.

You rummaging through your clothes for something to wear. You pick out a white linen shirt, an undershirt to go beneath and then a black pair of jeans. You turn back, checking that Olivia is occupied with something else.

“You’re good, I'm not looking.” She notices your glance in her direction.

“Thanks.” You say before you quickly drop the towel before pulling on your underwear and bra. You then pull on your jeans and shirt. “I’m done.” You say to her.

“Ready to go?”

“Yep.”

You walk into the cafe, there’s a small line and a couple of people already sitting. You get in line, looking at the menu, allowing Olivia to translate for you, her being from Quebec coming in handy.

“Hey you two!” You hear a voice from behind you and Janine walks up to you and Olivia, behind her is Jessie who looks less than thrilled to be out of the hotel.

“Hi Janine, hi Jessie.” Olivia greats them both.

“Hi Olivia.” Jessie says, she just glances at you, not saying anything. Janine looks between you and Jessie quickly an eyebrow cocked, questioning the strange behavior.

Guilt flushes through your body, even though Jessie was the one who rejected your offer, you said you would’ve been available in the morning and she hung up. But the way she ignored you felt like you had done something wrong.

Saved from having any further conversation, it’s your turn to order, you order and you then get Olivia’s order, offering to pick up Janine and Jessie’s cost as well, Janine accepts but Jessie quickly interrupts and waves you off saying she’s got it for them.

“Good to see you guys, enjoy your day off!” Olivia says as you both walk out the door onto the street.

Despite the awkward interaction at the cafe, you and Olivia have a lovely rest of the morning and afternoon. You walk around, she takes photos of you, and the scenery but mainly just of you. You talk and talk. Finally your conversations go further than just surface level and about work.

You learn that she had an older sister and two younger brothers, she was born in Quebec but lived in New York for a bit as a kid. She originally wanted to study film production but got an internship as a sports photographer for her university sports department and fell in love with the work. Outside of photography she enjoyed baking but hated cooking. She didn’t like seafood, except for shrimp.

It was easy talking with Olivia, but it didn’t feel the same as your early morning chats with Jessie or the small conversation you’d have when she hung around training late just to be in your company.

Maybe you weren’t into Olivia like you thought you were. Maybe you just wanted her as a friend. She made you feel nothing like how Jessie did. You didn’t have the same nerves around her, you didn’t have the same heart racing when you thought about her, you didn’t have the desire to grab her and kiss her. You didn’t think about what it would be like to sleep next to her, your mind didn’t constantly replay the feeling of her hug. You didn’t want her like that. You didn’t have a crush on her, you just wanted to be her friend, and you were.

The rest of your day was easy, you had lunch before you both were tired enough to head back to the hotel for a nap. Your plans to nap were quickly derailed by watching a movie.

“Come lay on my bed, it’s plenty big and then you won’t be straining your neck.” Olivia offered as she looked at you laying in your own bed, having to lean your head over to see the TV. She pulls back the sheets on the side closest to you and pats the bed.

You get up from your own bed, fix the sheets and then climb into Olivia’s bed, adjust to be comfortable and start watching the movie. Unfortunately the movie being in French meant you weren’t paying attention for too long and your eyelids quickly grew heavy and you fell asleep.

You woke up to the sound of Olivia talking quietly before you heard the hotel room door close. You blink a few times as she walks back into the room.

“Who was that?” You ask, thinking for a second you had maybe missed something important, a meeting or an appointment.

“Just Jessie, she wanted to borrow a camera strap and tripod, I guess she’s going out to take photos. Sorry did we wake you, we tried to be quiet, she was only in the room for a bit.”

Fuck, Jessie had been in the room. You knew you were in for it, if it was anyone else they might not have noticed that you were sleeping in Olivia’s bed, but Jessie was too observant to not notice. There was no way she didn’t notice how your bed was still made, untouched and you and Olivia had both been in hers. She saw you hugging the pillow beneath your head, she saw the fact that you were only dressed in a sports bra and sweats. It looked exactly like what you didn’t want it to look like.

You flopped back into the bed, watching tv with Olivia and trying not to spiral about Jessie until dinner time when you met your Mom to have dinner together. Thankfully getting you out of the team dinner for a night not having to see Jessie who is probably still pissed off with you from this morning and now seeing you in another girl's bed. Your Mom offered to take you to a museum tomorrow, you only had training to attend in the evening, so naturally you agreed.

The next two days without games fly by and before you know it you’re back standing on the sidelines watching the team play in the semi-final game against France.

You let out a sigh as the whistle blew to end extra time and indicate the game was about to enter penalties. Canada and France had both played well, keeping it a tight game 0-0. You watched the coin toss, France getting to kick first.

You stood on the sidelines, arms linked with the other staff, your Mom on one side and Sarah on the other, as you all watched the girls take penalties.

The first French player makes her penalty. Julia steps up, easily slotting the ball into the net. The next French player makes hers as well. Leon takes the ball next, her kick deflected by the keeper, putting Canada behind 2-1. After the third French player misses her kick you watch as the ball finds its way into Jessie’s hands.

You had been nervous watching all of the kicks, but watching Jessie hold the ball made you unable to move or breathe. You watch her, you had seen her take penalties plenty in practice, you had her routine memorized just as you did every other players.

She placed the ball, adjusting it a few times before she was satisfied. She then took her three steps back, and looked down, closing her eyes for a moment. You waited and waited and waited, watching her. It was only a couple extra seconds but you watched as Jessie didn’t look up as quick as she normally did, you also noticed the small shake of her head before she opened her eyes, something she didn’t usually do, and began her approach. She kicked it and you watched as it deflected off the keeper's hands. She had missed.

You watched as she turned back to join her team, head down, not acknowledging as her teammates gave her pats on the back.

Thankfully, the next French player misses her kick as well, giving Canada the chance to tie it up. Janine successfully makes her kick, giving a quick celebration before going back to the line to watch the fifth French player take her kick. Her kick goes off the post and now Chloe steps up to take her kick. She set up, taking the kick and you’re not even sure you saw the ball go in, just the eruption from those around you and the sea of red running onto the field. You follow the rest of the staff, grabbing bottles to bring out to the players. Your eyes scanning for Jessie, you find her, head still down, Janine behind her trying to talk to her, Jessie just walking away.

“Jess.” You hold out a bottle to her.

“Don’t talk to me.” She puts a hand to your chest and shoves you out of the way, causing you to stumble back a step. It was probably a harder shove than she intended, but you get the message. She’s pissed off that she missed, she just needs some time alone. You don’t follow her, letting her leave the pitch as you turn back toward the field where the rest of the team was still jumping around and cheering.

“Don’t take it personally, she’s too tough on herself, she shuts people out.” Janine says, grabbing the bottle you intended for Jessie out of your hand taking a drink of it. “She’ll be fine.” She thanks you for the water, handing the bottle back to you. The team celebrates for a little bit longer before everyone starts moving back to the locker room to change and go to the hotel.

When you go back into the locker room you notice all of Jessie’s gear is gone, what was once her cubby is empty. You go check the treatment paperwork, seeing that she did do her recovery, just with Sarah instead of you and had already checked out of the facility for the night. It didn’t bother you too much that she didn’t do her recovery with you, you were glad she at least still did it, taking care of herself, but she wasn’t the type to rush out, leaving her team behind.

When you get back to the hotel you shower and crawl into bed, feeling emotionally and physically exhausted. You couldn’t get Jessie’s disappointed and angry face out of your mind. You couldn’t stop thinking about the way she shoved you. Janine had said it wasn’t personal but it sure felt like it was.

Olivia climbs into her own bed shortly after you do, she shuts off the lights in the room and wishes you a goodnight. It’s not long before she starts to snore, she snores quietly, not enough to bother you or keep you awake, if anything on the other nights it was like a white noise machine. But tonight it was Jessie keeping you awake. You wanted to text her, to see how she was, to make sure she was okay. But you were keeping your distance, you were staying invisible.

After trying to fall asleep for 3 hours and failing, just rusting around in the sheets, you get up and decide to leave the room, getting out of the sleepless bed would maybe help. You throw on your Canada hoodie and as quietly as possible leave your hotel room. You make your way down to the conference room that had been converted into Team Canada’s meeting room, game room, movie room, whatever activities the players wanted to do in their free time.

There she was, wearing a matching red hoodie, her ponytail making her easily identifiable as she sat at a chair with her head tilted down toward something on the table in front of her.

“What are you doing here?” You asked Jessie as you entered the room, not wanting to startle her too much. She was sitting at a table looking at a tablet, a tablet playing her missed kick, over and over and over.

Her head spins around, looking over to you. “I could ask you the same thing.”

“Couldn’t sleep.” You tell her.

“That makes two of us.” She replies. You stand next to her, she’s looking up at you.

“You know sitting here watching that over and over isn’t going to change anything.” You point at the tablet in front of her as you watch again the ball go into the arms of the keeper.

“I know, but this is how I handle it. So I’m going to keep watching it. Thanks.” You get the indication that she’s not interested in your company anymore so you turn to walk over to another chair in the corner of the room. You’re about to sit down when Jessie speaks up.

“I missed that penalty because of you, it’s your fault.”

[belladrawschstuff]

When your shitty 13 colonies become the world superpower

General info

Nicknames: Ame, stars, the Phoenix (ThEn IlL rAiSe YoU lIkE a PhOeNiX) He's friends with a lot of people, he mostly likes you as long as you respect him. He really is just his dad.

HCs

Because he's older than most countries he's kinda known as a lot of peoples mentor and some see him as an older brother

Speaking of mentors America was taught by a lot of old empires. People like Prussia, Russian empire and all his uncles along with a lot of other countries who taught him about their culture and language. But America did learn how to fly because of Prussia.

He has a few gifts from people, the sunglasses were originally given to him by Scotland but when America was taking care of west Germany, he got weirded out about the fact he couldn't see his eyes, so he made them have an eye tracker, the guitar was given to America by Britain as a way to say sorry for the revolution and war of 1812

He loves fluffy and soft things which is why his coat is fluffy despite the fact he can warm himself up by his fire

His personality disorder is mostly the reason he acts differently in certain situations than others. Its not that he doesn't know how to act its just he needs to have that experience to know how to act. An example is when he 1st started to date Russia because the only affection he knew how to put on other people was to Either act like a child like he was when he was younger or act like a guardian because he was an older brother and also because he's a father. France had to explain to Russia to take it slow and show America what to do.

The choker around Americas neck is from when he was younger. Because he has fire powers, he's kinda allergic to water so he gets burned by it so Britain made a little gem to keep him immune to water, so now he can talk underwater with no consequences.

America is forces to go the presidential debates but he doesn't really care anymore cause he knows both of the people are gonna be shit so he just uses that time to make fun of them.

To torture America Canada makes him watch Hamilton. Like imagine there was a musical about reliving you least favorite time in your life and also the story of how your friends died.

He hates his singing voice so he'll go outside to the forest and play his guitar on the edge of a nice cliff and blast music through his headphones.

America has extreme Arachniphobia. every time Australia loses one of his spiders America says you better find that spider before it finds me.

When his siblings were younger he used to sing to them because he didn't want Britain and France to have to wake up and deal with it.

After 9/11 America has to wear a hearing aid because new York is technically his brain, he covers his ears because of it

Idk how I forgot this one but Americas eyes changes colors depending on his mood. Blue and red is normal, only red is mad or ticked off, green is protective or wary, yellow means he has his eagle wings out and purple means he's bout to nuke you cause he's really mad like lvl 5. His eyes show not only his mood but also which persona is in control at the time ( which I figured out is called split personality disorder

He can also talk to the ancients and dead countries, so he just talks to them when he's bored, Canada can do the same since he is a ghost. If America doesn't have pupils and it's just fully white or black he's talking to them, but its more his internal thoughts that talk to him. he doesn't just start mummbling luckily.

Hes immune to most of the different abilities of other people, he doesn't get frozen in time which came in handy during the cold war, he can still see Canada even if he is a ghost, though Britain can still use magic on him, bad magic like cursing him doesn't work, France can still see his memories, but its mostly because their his parents.

(I know I'm making him over powered but like you should've expected that, I do live in America and America does have the best military by a landslide, so L)

Oh also meme of the day ( don't expect this to be normal)

[holly-louisexox]

Ribcage X Andy Biersack- Part 30

Masterlist

"There's one thing you should know about me Delia Vincent, I don't date. Got no heart to break and emptiness is safe, keep it that way."

He was adamant in his choices...

...But then things changed.

Author's note:

One breif mention of the deadly C word (cancer). As always, please look after yourselves friends. Also dives deeper into Delia's PTSD.

------------

Sam Todd came from money, he was rich, and everyone knows that rich people can get good lawyers. Delia was terrified about going to court against him but she knew that she had to, if not for herself for the other women he had killed. However, Sam was smart and his lawyer even smarter.

"Your honour, I would like to bring forward the point that Miss Vincent had been drinking the night of meeting my client Mr Todd, she agreed to go back with him but clearly does not remember this. Linking this with the medical reports of PTSD and lack of sleep due to the tour she had just finished, of course, Miss Vincent would not remember this and would hallucinate the morbid things she claims Mr Todd had told her." The lawyer states confidently.

"Objection, Miss Vincent suffers PTSD as a result of the kidnapping and assault Mr Todd put her through. I have also confirmed with the band and their management that the tour was evenly spread out to allow time to rest and relax so as not to pressurise any tour members and to prevent illness." Delia's lawyer interjects.

"Objection, it can be seen that Miss Vincent went through a traumatic event 3 years ago when her Father was diagnosed with prostate cancer and was near death at one point. That is enough for PTSD to form, the stress of being away from her parents is enough to trigger those memories." Sam's lawyer states; how did she know about her dad Delia wonders.

 "Objection, relevance." Delia's lawyer shouts slightly.

"Overruled, I'll allow it." The judge states firmly back at Delia's lawyer "Please do continue your case, Miss Brown."

The court case went on for a few hours before the judge called the case to an end, allowing the jury to be dismissed and to make their decision on whether Sam was guilty or not guilty. Sam's lawyer was clever in twisting the truth. Delia's injuries? She had blamed Delia for being unstable and throwing herself out of the window. There were no weapons found in Sam's house and no blood was discovered either allowing the lawyer to deny Sam murdering those other women.

The next day the court was called back into session after the jury had reached a decision. Delia felt sick to her stomach and wished Andy could be there alongside her, instead, he had been stuck in Los Angeles leaving her alone in Seattle. Lonny had offered to attend alongside her however a snowstorm in Canada prevented him from flying and she would not dare ask anyone else.

"We have reached a verdict, your honour." A spokesperson from the Jury announces "We find Mr Todd not guilty and declare Miss Vincent insane."

"Very well, Mr Todd is free to leave and Miss Vincent will be taken to a secure facility to receive treatment." The judge confirms before hitting his hammer on the table "Court dismissed."

"Andy?" Delia answers her phone as she hears it ring.

"You know it was just sex right? I never actually liked you, I just pitied you." Andy states coldly "At least now you can get the help you so desperately need, goodbye Delia."

"Andy! Andy, please don't leave me!" Delia cries before hearing the call cut off.

"Delia?" Tamara then appears beside her.

"Mum! They're going to take me away!" Delia continues to cry "Please don't let them take me!"

"No one is taking you away Petal." Tamara explains calmly stroking Delia's hair.

"They're taking me away!" Delia is hysterical at this moment.

“Delia, listen to me. No one is taking you away, I promise." Tamara is now lightly shaking Delia's shoulders. "I need you to wake up for me."

--------------------------

"Mum?" Delia cries as she jolts up from her bed exiting her slumber; it was all a bad dream, but it felt so real.

"You're okay honey." Tamara smiles warmly pulling Delia into a hug and allowing her daughter to cry on her shoulder

"What time is it?" Delia asks noticing it was still dark outside.

"It's about 4 am." Tamara informs Delia as she continues to hug her close. "What happened Petal?"

"I don't want to talk about it." Delia sighs trying to calm her crying "Please don't tell Andy."

"Delia, you were shouting for Andy not to leave you and said someone was going to take you away." Tamara worries as she gently rubs Delia's back. "Andy seems a fine young man. I think he would want to know about this, and I know he cares for you, he'd want to reassure you."

"He'd think I'm  crazy." Delia sniffles pulling away from Tamara and looking at her.

"Delia, you've been through something I can only imagine was terrifying, it's okay to lean on those who love and care for you." Tamara tries to reassure Delia.

"Maybe you're right." Delia smiles lightly.

"Aren't I always?" Tamara teases earning a light chuckle from Delia "Try and go back to sleep for a little bit D. As much as I don't think Andy will not care if you fell asleep on him, I'd recommend you not do that."

"Good idea." Delia smiles settling back into her bed and duvet "Goodnight mum."

------------------------

"Delia, Andy's here!" Tamara shouts for Delia from the front door.

"Okay, I'll be down in a minute!" Delia shouts back from upstairs.

"Andy please, come in." Tamara smiles moving aside to allow Andy to walk into the house "How are you doing today?"

"I'm very well thank you, Mrs Vincent." Andy smiles "You're looking well, how was your evening with Delia last night?"

"Andy please, there's no need for the formality, just call me Tamara." Tamara smiles as she and him walk into the living room "Although I do have to confess, I'm a little bit worried about Delia, I was hoping you could help and maybe try and talk to her."

"What happened? Is she okay?" Andy panics; as horrible as it seems, seeing Andy panic reassured Tamara. It was nice to see that her daughter was in safe hands.

"About 4 am this morning I had to wake up her because she was screaming out from a bad dream. She was begging you not to leave her and claiming someone was going to take her away." Tamara smiles sadly.

"Oh God, the nurse at the hospital warned me about things like this after what she's been through. I know it's going to get worse before it gets better, but I'm worried it will get so bad that she'll do something reckless. She likely won't accept too much help either." Andy sighs.

"You're right about not accepting help, I love her and Nick dearly but their stubbornness drives me up the wall sometimes." Tamara shakes her head grinning slightly. "She won't talk to me about it either."

"I can try but I'm not sure if she'll tell me if she won't even tell you, I know you're both close." Andy smiles at Tamara.

"Mum? Andy?" Delia calls from the hallway.

"Living room dear!" Tamara confirms "Feel free to visit whenever you like Andy, even if that means staying a night You're always welcome here."

Andy understood what Tamara meant by that comment. She was suggesting Andy stay the night to bring Delia some comfort either to get her to open up about the bad dream if it were to happen again or to chase it away completely, but he had to be smart about it. If Delia suspects that Tamara had spoken to him about what had happened, she would never agree to let him stay with her the night. Instead, he had to think of a way to make it about himself.

"Are you ready to go Andy?" Delia asks as she hobbles into the living room.

"Yeah." Andy nods before standing up from the sofa "It was lovely seeing you again Tamara." 

"Feel free to visit any time Andy." Tamara smiles although Andy knew it was just a reminder of what they had just spoken about without Delia's knowing.

"Thank you." Andy smiles at her.

-----------------

"It's so nice to have a phone that actually works now." Delia laughs before taking a sip of her coffee; caramel of course. "Could you add my new number into the groupchat please? It'll be easier for the others to reach me then rather than send out a message to all of them."

"Yeah of course, let me do it now before I forget." Andy laughs alongside her grabbing his phone.

"Thank you." Delia smiles after receiving the notification that Andy had added her to the group. "Is it weird for you being back in Ohio?"

"A little, I kind of feel like a ghost." Andy smiles looking at Delia;  she looked anxious and he could guess why.

"So what? After Christmas you go back to LA and forget all about me?" Delia questions as she lays all of her anxiety on the table; the nightmare Tamara told Andy about, the fears of everything, it was hitting Delia and harder than what Andy wanted to see.

"Of course not, I could never forget about you Delia." Andy's smile falls and he carefully takes Delia's hand in his as if she may break from any sudden or hard movements, as if she was the finest china. "You know we all want you on our next tour, the guys and Shevy adore you and you're great at what you do. Plus I can easily come to Ohio or you can visit my place in LA."

"That's true." Delia nods timidly.

"Or a crazier idea, and there's no pressure for this, you could move to LA." Andy speaks casually as not to scare Delia as he watches for her facial expression "I know you've been trying to move out of your parent's house for a while now."

"I could never afford LA." Delia sighs looking down at her hand in Andy's; she'd love to move to LA, she was has as she knows it would give her better job opportunity and now she'd be closer to Andy. As much as she did not want to admit it, she needed Andy, but she was never good at asking for help or accepting help even when it was given to her.

"How about this then..." Andy begins before rubbing his thumb over Delia's knuckles "You could move into the spare room I have? I know it's out there and I won't expect an answer right nowbut that could also be an option and I know what you're going to be thinking, if the money side is going to bother you then I'll let you tag into the bills."

"I'll have to think about it, but that sounds great Andy." Delia nods tightening her grip on Andy's hand slightly as if she was scared he would slip away from her.

"Like I said, there's no pressure and I won't be offended if you choose not to." Andy smiles lightly squeezing her hand to reassure her.

"Andy?" Delia starts looking up at him "Can you stay with me tonight? I'm scared."

"Of course." Andy smiles back "Always."

[daydreamingmia]

Walker Scobell X Reader | Series | You Belong With Me🔱 Part 19

TO CANADA! PART 2💙🛫

It was about 20 minutes after you woke up and everyone was very sleepy "Hey you guys hungry?" Dior asks "YES!" Everyone yells suddenly waking up "In n out sound good?" She asked

"YES!" Everyone yelled again

You put a hood on hoping nobody would recognize you "You wanna share the extra large milkshake?" Walker whispered in your ear "No! Get your own milkshake!" You whisper yelled "Fine" He said and rolled his eyes. Dior and Charlie just finished ordering and it was now your turn. "Can I get a y/o, a fry and a chocolate milkshake?" You ask "Of course anything else?" The nice lady asked "Yeah can I get a cheeseburger and a chocolate milkshake? You don't have anything blue right?" Walker stepped up from behind you "No. I'm sorry. Anything else?" She asked "No. Thank you." He replied Thr lady went and got the milkshake and gave it to you You waited for your food and  sat down. "Can I have a sip of your milkshake y/n?" Dior asked "Yeah! Have as much as you want!" You say handing ut to her. You look at Walker and he looks shocked (with his hand on his chest and everything) "What?" You asked annoyed "Why when I asked is you wanted to share you said get your own but when Dior asks you say have as much as you want?!" He questioned "Because I like Dior" You say like it obvious "And you don't like me?" You pouted "No" You reply plainly "Order number 83 is ready!" You heard someone announce Everyone gets up and goes to get the food "Thank you!" You said with a smile taking the bags and putting them on the seat. You turn to grab your purse When you turn back around you see Walker eating your fries "Hey! Those are mine!" You say as you try to take it from him. He turns and holds the fry in the air so you can't reach it. "You're so annoying!" You yell at him "Too bad you're short" He laughs "Too bad I'm not" Charlie says and takes the fry and eats it "Thank you Charlie" You smile "But he just ate it! It's the same if I did!" He argues "But I hate you" You joke "Just for that…I'm gonna take another fry" He says reaching in your bag as you glare at him. You pull your phone out of your pocket to document his thievery.

You got to the airport and everyone got out. "I'm so full." Walker whines "Because you ate all my food!" You yell at him "Don't be dramatic I took barely any" He replied And you give him a look

"Okay… maybe that's why I'm full" He says

We went through security when Aryan grabbed his phone and saw the time "OMG! IT'S ALMOST 8 O'CLOCK!" Aryan yells We all look at eachother and start running Walker and Aryan in the front and Charlie and Dior a few feet in front of you. You were in the back because…WELL IT WAS 8 AM AND YOU WERE TO TIRED TO RUN FAST! Walker looks back at you "Come on!" He yelled and ran towards you He grabbed your hand and started running full blast. "WALKER!" You scream "We are not missing plane because of you!" He yells You look around and see people staring some taking pictures of you "WALKER MY LEGS CANT MOVE THAT FAST!" You yell at him "Fine" He stops picks you up and starts to run again Well let's just say only a few people were taking pictures before and now A TON were. You caught up with the rest

"Ummm…Walker should I ask why you're carrying-…never mind" Ayan says

You made it! Dior looks at her phone "we made it with 2 minutes to spare!" She says gasping for air "Thanks to me" Walker says put of breath putting you down "Hey!! I'm not that slow!!" You say He just gives you a look…yeah you were "IN MY DEFENSE ITS 8 AM! IM NOT EVEN AT THIS TIME NORMALLY!" You point out "You die when you sleep?! That makes sense why you sleep like the dead!!" Walker says You just glare at him "You know I love you" He says sweetly and kisses you

"I love you too" You blush

Everyone were flying first class You get on the plane and Walker sits down "I wanted the window seat!" You pout He rolls his eyes and stands up and moves to the middles seat as Aryan sits next to him. "Thank you!" You smile Walker knew airplanes scared you a little bit so he held your hand. You smile and lay your head in his lap. He stroked your hair out of your face and admired your beauty. You fell asleep almost immediately after the plane took off which was good for your it had been about 20 minutes. "Can I get a blanket?" You heard Walker whisper "Of course!" A woman replied

A few minutes later you felt Walker put a blanket on you. Then he kissed the top of your head. He was so sweet.

After a few hours you woke up. You picked you head up off of Walker's shoulder "Shhh. Go back to sleep." He said quietly while gently pushing your head back down. "But I'm awake" You said groggy as you sat back up. "What time is it?" You said looking around trying to open your eyes "I think it's around 4" Walker replied You looked over at Aryan and he was intensly watching a movie. You looked over and it was Mission Impossible. "Good choice" you said to yourself. You look behind you to see Dior was asleep and Charlie was on his phone. "This girl in this movie is so pretty" Walker said to you looking at his screen You look over and see he was watching Thor. The girl was you. You blush. "Wow! She's stunning!" You say jokingly

You pull out your phone and start playing games you downloaded earlier. They were a little hard to play though because Walker was holding your hand the whole time.

It was an hour later and they were giving people their dinners. They handed it to you and it looked delicious. You ordered spaghetti (which came with some bread) and Strawberry lemonade Walker ordered some tacos and sprite "Can I have some?" You ask with puppy eyes "Only if I can have some spaghetti" He replys "Fine. One bite." You say "Same for you" He replies "Fine! But it'll cost kiss" you say as Walker kisses you

"You guys are weird" Aryan rolls his eyes

After dinner you went to the bathroom to brush your teeth and wash your face. When you came back out most of the other people were asleep. "Took ya long enough" Walker said "You could've went to sleep without me" You replied "Could I have?" Walker said and you thought it was so sweet until he continued "You would've woken me up to get past me" He said sarcastically You sat down and laid against him again. He put his arm around you and you could heart his heart beat. He kissed the top of your head as you nestled into him. He was so warm and cuddleable (I don't care if it's not a word that's what Walker is 😊)

A/n: Hiii everyone!! I know it doesn't take as long as am saying to fly to Canada. I'm sorry just pretend. XOXO LOVE YOU ALL 💕

💓💓💓💓💓💓💓💓💓💓💓💓💓💓💓💓💓💓💓💓💓💓💓💓💓💓💓💓💓💓💓💓💓💓💓💓💓💓💓💓💓💓💓💓

Tags: @noajakah236482@the-tortured-poets-depxrtment@yeeteddemigod@walker-scobell-obsessed@callsignwidow@froggyflower264

[koolkat9]

Count Your Blessings

Rating: T

Relationship: England + Canada + Scotland

Word Count: 776

Read on AO3

Chapter 5

“Surprise! I’m home,” Alastair called through the empty halls.

There was no reply. Strange. Arthur wasn’t someone who went out often, especially in the middle of the day. He headed to the living room.

“You better not have done anything stupid while I was–”

Alastair froze when he spotted Arthur fast asleep with a young Matthew curled up to his side, sleeping as well. Maybe he was still asleep on the plane. He had to be dreaming. All he could do was just stare at the perplexing scene, searching for answers that weren’t there.

After a few minutes, he finally snapped out of the shock, rage jump-starting him as it sparked through his body.

Alastair stormed over to the couch, shoving Arthur awake, but mindful of not waking Matthew.

Arthur jerked, babbling nonsense as his brain caught up. When he finally met Alastair’s gaze, he tensed up, eyes flying open wide, fully alert, and awake all of a sudden.

“Alas–”

“What the hell did you do?” Alastair growled, eyes hard, jaw clenched, suppressing the urge to strangle him.

But Arthur didn’t seem to mind it too much and instead looked down towards Matthew who was starting to stir. He hushed him, combing his fingers through the boy’s hair until he finally settled again.

He turned back to Alastair, eyes burning. “I swear if you wake Matthew up–”

Alastair snorted bitterly. “Says the one who turned our kid into a literal kid.”

“Jumping to conclusions. Typical.”

“Really now? Then tell me, how did a hulking young adult become a wee thing like this?”

Arthur opened his mouth, eyes still defiant, but nothing came out but a strangled noise from the back of his throat. He closed his mouth, pink tinting his cheeks.

Alastair tilted his head. “Hmm…interesting.”

“I didn’t mean to…” Arthur said lowly.

“Excuses.”

“I really didn’t,” Arthur repeated, louder this time.

Alastair just shook his head, about to hiss back, when there was a small groan. Both Alastair’s and Arthur’s attention snapped towards Matthew. The boy gave a big yawn, stretching his arms over his head. His eyes cracked open, blinking away sleep. He froze when Alastair came into view. Like a deer caught in headlights.

Alastair immediately softened, crouching down so as to not tower over him and scare him more. “Hey…it’s okay. It’s just Uncle Allie.” He gestured for him to come over.

Hesitantly, Matthew slunk off the couch and stood in front of his uncle, fiddling with his hands.

“Did I scare you?” Alastair asked in a whisper.

Matthew cautiously nodded.

“I’m sorry.”

A small smile spread across Matthew’s face. “It’s okay.”

Alastair shook his head. “It’s not okay. I should have kept my temper in check around you.”

Matthew scrunched up his nose, eyes squinted. Thinking. Eventually, Matthew came closer, throwing his arms around Alastair’s neck, squeezing him tightly.

"Thank you,” Alastair murmured. “So…Are you staying with us for a bit then?”

Matthew nodded eagerly.

“Well then, I should check out your room. Make sure Arthur has everything you need. Meet me up there?”

“Okay,” Matthew cheered, rushing out of the room and up the stairs.

As the thumping footsteps became more and more distant, Alastair turned back to Arthur, scowling.

“How do we fix him?” Alastair’s voice was low, but it was still full of venom.

"We have to wait for the spell to reverse."

Alastair took a deep breath, eyes closing. "Do his bosses know?"

"They know he's here but not the full extent as to why."

"Does anyone else know?"

"Just you and me."

Alastair dug through his pockets. "We have to call Dylan."

"No!"

"He can help us. And it's not like he can stay mad at you long"

Arthur scrambled off the couch trying to grab at Alastair’s cellphone.

"B-But. I-I have been managing just fine on my own,” Arthur protested, “And I told you. The only way this will reverse is with time. Check the spell if you don't believe me. Page 39." he gestured to the book on the fireplace mantle.

Alastair scoffed. But he took a look anyway. Arthur watched him definitely as he scanned the page. Alastair let out a loud, groanish sigh. He slammed the book shut, muttering a curse.

“Fine,” Alastair finally said, crossing the living room to the door. “We don’t call Dylan. He needed this break. But promise me you’re going to put that book back in the basement. We don’t need another ‘accident.’”

He shoved the book into Arthur’s hands before heading upstairs like he promised Matthew.

With Alastair finally gone, Arthur collapsed onto the couch again, coiling in on himself, clutching the book to his chest.

[vroomvroommbtch]

Car’s outside - DR x fem!OC

Masterlist

Summary: They hated the distance more than anything in the world, so they finally get to do something about it. 

Pairing: Daniel Ricciardo x fem!OC

Warnings:  Fluff af and language bc idk how to write without swearing.

Word count: 3.9k

A/N: Did I spend my whole Saturday writing this? Yes. Was ROC an inspiration somehow? Maybe. I’m obsessed with writing 2018 Dan and Jas? Absolutely. The fact that I finished this is a miracle?? Yes sir. Anyway, hi kids! This one its kind of short but cute af so I hope you like it. I love this two together bc they’re the most wholesome couple in the world. Whatever, hope u like it and let’s pray I get to post again soon lol Let me know what you think?? See ya soon!  ♥️✌🏻

---

Car’s outside.

-

July 2018.

London was gloomy. It was yet another grey day waiting for the rain to fall at any given time, but Jas knew what made it even more grey and sad was Daniel’s bags right by the door, waiting for him to grab them and leave. He was going to leave the next morning because he needed to be in Germany for yet another race, which meant just being able to see him through the screen of her phone. It meant no kissing, no touching, no hugging and just thinking about it made Jas feel uneasy.

After almost one month of blissful kind of domestic life, letting each other go for two weeks sounded insane. Damn, it wasn’t even two whole weeks because she was gonna be in Hungary for the last race of the first part of the calendar. She was gonna be there by his side ready to go on vacations with Daniel as soon as his job was done, but it felt awful even if they were going to be two hours' flight from each other. Two hours flight and nine days apart and she was gonna be back in his arms. Nine pathetic long days to be back in her favorite place in the world. To think about that was what made it bearable.

After six months of relationship, Jas was still not used to letting him go. None of them were used to letting each other go. Even if Daniel was used to not spending much time with his family and friends, he was always telling Jas how difficult it was for him too. ‘I just fucking hate letting you go’ was what he said time after time as they covered each other in kisses. There was no better way to describe it, that’s why during that grey night Jas hugged him a bit tighter, trying to not wake him up in the process. His idea of watching a movie turned into Daniel falling asleep half an hour into whatever random movie he picked up. Then that turned into Jas ignoring the movie and putting her focus on her boyfriend. His face was hiding in the crock of her neck, slow breaths hitting her skin and messy curls tickling her. Even when it was the middle of the goddamn summer and outside it was warm and humid, all she wanted was to stay like that forever, with Daniel using her as his pillow. All she wanted was to make the night longer so Tuesday wouldn’t come.

They both knew how things were and that at some point they always had to say goodbye, but this time was especially hard. Everything was a rollercoaster since Monaco. After their love confession that Sunday everything clearly was different. After that day everything was somehow way more intense, that included the sadness of flying back home to Dublin when Daniel had to go to Canada. She hated it. She hated having to kiss him goodbye and the ‘See you again soon’ promise. She hated those long farewell hugs knowing she couldn’t stay there forever. She hated the feeling inside her chest because her whole body was yelling for her to drop everything and stay. After all, that was the right thing to do. But she had to ignore it, take a deep breath, push the knot in her throat to a side all to whisper a shy ‘I love you’ with a sad smile on her face.

But his week in Canada felt somehow short. The nights were terrible and felt eternal, but the afternoons weren’t that bad and the next thing she knew Jas was on her way to the airport to pick Daniel up. After that, they didn’t move from each other’s side. They went from Dublin to France, not just for the race but also to spend her birthday there. After that they went to Austria and thank God she was there not only for his birthday but also to do everything in her power to calm him down after that terrible DNF on Sunday. After that, they went to the UK and that’s where they had been since then.

It was weeks of waking up and going to bed by his side. It was weeks of not being able to bathe alone because Daniel would sneak in the shower with her every single time. It was weeks of waking up with Daniel between her legs or covering her body with kisses and doing the same for him. It was weeks of giggling as they reminded each other to not be so loud because they were in a hotel room, and someone would complain about the noise. Then it was days of almost a normal life in London. It was days of doing the most normal things a couple could do. It was days of making dinner, grocery shopping, getting a text from Daniel saying ‘I’m on my way home’ and knowing he was not talking about a place but about her. It was weeks of being home simply because they were together, not caring about the country they were in.

After all that she didn’t want to move from his side, but she needed to go back home, and Daniel needed to go to Germany, but all that could wait till the next day. She even wanted to leave dinner for a bit later if that included not moving from her place. They were perfectly fitted together on the couch, and she was so comfortable that moving felt like a tragedy. Moving from there left wrong, but she didn’t have much of an option. All she could do was wish time would freeze for a while, but it was nothing but impossible.

“Baby...” Jas called him as softly as possible, running her fingers around his back under his shirt and tangling her other hand in his messy curls. But just like she imagined, all she got in response was a soft groan coming from her boyfriend, which didn’t surprise her at all. “Danny, baby, c'mon, you gotta get up. I gotta go make dinner” she insisted as she kissed his forehead.

If something always worked with sleepy Daniel was the threat of Jas leaving his side. She couldn’t blame him because every time she would do the same. Every time one of them would be asleep, if the other threatened with leaving, they would automatically react. This time wasn’t different. This time, with the threat of Jas leaving his side, Daniel tightened his grip around her waist, making his statement very clear. “Don’t” was all he said, voice so sleepy and raspy that it did nothing but give Jas another reason to stay.

“Can you look at me, sunshine?” Jas asked gently, kissing his forehead once more. And true to his promise of making all her wishes come true, Daniel looked at her. With the sleepiest face and through half-opened eyelids, Daniel moved out of his little shelter and looked at her. And fuck, how she loved him and his handsome face. She could spend hours just looking at him and kissing every inch of his face. She could stay there the whole night kissing those perfect lips and looking at his brown eyes. All that and his contiguous smile and his crazy curls and that tanned skin were her perdition, so she had to do a big effort to focus and talk again. “Dia duit, grà“

“I’ve no idea what the fuck you just said but it sounded sexy” Daniel murmured, running his nose against hers as he slowly moved one of his hands to her ass, just to rest it here as he would normally do.

And like every single time, Jas would smile and steal one kiss as she moved impossibly close to him because it was never enough when it comes to being near Daniel. “Weren't’ you asleep?” she wondered as his fingers slowly moved around her skin. Not that she couldn’t blame him when she was wearing nothing but panties and one of his shirts.  

“Yeah, but my sexy girlfriend woke me up” he smirked, knocking the air out of her lungs like every time he did that. Daniel’s smile could convince her of absolutely everything, so she could imagine how that night was gonna end.

“Excuse me, you're the one who abandoned me in the middle of the movie. You’re very lucky you’re handsome and I love you very much” Jas joked, poking his ribs as she tried to sound as serious as possible. She was the one who normally would fall asleep in his arms so she would never blame him for such a thing. Nothing would make her feel better than to know that Daniel could get some rest from to time after such a complicated year, so he could sleep all she wanted. The only problem was when she wouldn’t be able to leave the couch without waking him up because he decided to turn into a human version of a koala.

“Sorry ‘bout that, princess” he murmured, moving his fingers through the elastic of her panties as he kissed his way back to her neck. “I can pay you back for the inconvenient”

It took everything from her to not follow his lead. It took everything to not beg Daniel to fuck her right then and there on the couch as they would normally do. It took even more of her to ignore the way he was getting hard against her leg and especially to not move her hip against him. There was  nothing she wanted more than to ride him until the only thing Daniel could remember was her name, but she had to be a grown-up woman and be responsible. She needed to be a grown-up woman even when Daniel was doing his best effort to change her mind with kisses, some gentle bites, and licks on her skin while grabbing handfuls of her ass.

“Later. Now I got shit to do, beauty. Gotta go make dinner” she breathed, biting her tongue as she kept to herself the moan that was threatening to leave her mouth when Daniel kissed the weak spot on her neck.  

“Later”. Another bite, another lick, another kiss, another push of their hips together.

It was terribly hard to resist.

“C’mon, sunshine, I gotta feed you. Mike ain’t here to do the dirty job and if I don’t put food in your body, he’ll kill me, and you’ll get hungry and grumpy” Jas insisted, moving her free hand from his back to his chest to rest it there. Having her hand under his shirt wasn’t going to help much to the situation, but she just couldn’t help it.

“We can order. Besides, you’re the one who gets grumpy when you’re hungry”  

He knew her well. He knew her too damn well. Six months together and Daniel already knew her like the back of his hand. He knew she would get grumpy if she was hungry, he knew how to put a smile on her face even on the worse days, the way to make her fall asleep when it seemed impossible, how to make her moan as any other man could ever do, how to convince her to stop being mad at him even when she could never really get mad at him. Daniel knew all the weak points on her body to make her beg for more and to leave her breathless. But beyond all, Daniel could make her smile brighter and bigger than anyone in the whole world. He knew the way to her heart better than anyone else in the world and that’s why it belonged to him.

But Jas knew Daniel as well as he knew her, that’s why she couldn’t help but smile when he said those words. “You’re the one who complains every time we order something! You’re the one who says my food's better”

“Cause your food’s always better” he affirmed, and Jas could feel his smile against her skin. No matter where they ordered, no matter to which amazing restaurant they went, Daniel would always somehow smile and say ‘It was alright, but I like your food better’. Jas would always joke and say there was no need to lie to her to get laid that night, but she knew Daniel wasn’t joking. Jas was no chef, she was far from that, but unlike her sister, Jas paid attention to the kitchen lessons Aoife and Esmé gave her during her life. What she did was nothing but basic meals, but Daniel said time after time that he loved it. It took a late-night talk over a couple of glasses of wine for Daniel to admit he loved it simply because it tasted like home. After leaving home so young, after being away from Perth for so much time, and especially after being on the road that much, homemade food was something that he could have counted times, so having that thanks to Jas were like a little privilege for him. That’s why Jas tried to cook as much as possible for him when they were together, even when she was too lazy and order sounded like the best option.

“Then let me go and make you some. It’ll be fast. You can keep napping meanwhile. Plus, I ain’t gonna put on my shorts so you can look at my ass while I go” Jas insisted. But when she felt Daniel’s arms going back to her waist to hug her as tightly as possible, and when his lips just gave her one last kiss and then stayed there, she knew there was something else. “What’s going on, baby?”

It took him a second to talk. She could feel his body against her taking a deep breath, she could feel his breath hitting her neck as it left his lips, but more than anything she could feel the doubt in his body. It was hard to think he was the same guy who drove the fastest car in the world. It was crazy to think he was the one who loved to get scared once in a while just because. But Jas knew that guy was also her Danny. Sometimes it was incomprehensible to think that man on the tv was the same man she loved. He was the same Danny that would come to her in the good days and when the world felt too much and when he didn’t want to see anyone else. That was the same Daniel that Jas could feel was doubting and trying to pick the right words to say to his girlfriend. And knowing him the way she did, Jas just waited. She kissed his shoulder, traced lines on his back, and played with his curls as she waited for him to find the right way to say whatever he needed to say. If he needed time, she had all the time in the world for him. And if that wasn’t enough, she was ready to somehow invent more time for him.

“I just don’t want you to go. Not even to the kitchen for five minutes”

There was the issue.

It happened once in a while. Normally, it happened every time they had to let each other go. They knew it was a normal reaction knowing they will have to be away for more time than they will like to. Normally it was Jas the one who had to be reminded that everything was gonna be alright. Generally, it was Daniel the one who had to hold her and promise things were gonna be fine, but sometimes it was the other way around. Sometimes, like that night, Jas was the one who had to be the strong one and make the promises even when her own heart was breaking just for hearing him.

“Baby, we talked about it. Now it's just nine silly days, but then we’ll figure out the rest after the summer break. Y’know I’m not going anywhere” she stated, repeating the same promise they also made at least once a week. Their little ‘I’m not going anywhere’ was something normal. It was a reminder. It was their promise to each other. It was one of the things that kept them going on the worst days.

“I know” Daniel nodded, kissing her one last time her neck as he moved to his previous place, finally looking at her face. “I just wish you could come with me”

“I don’t want you to go but it’s work, love. It's your job”

“I know that too, J, but I miss you. And it’s selfish but I want you around. I need you around, princess” he confessed, moving his right hand out of her waist to look for her hand.

“I miss you too, you hear me? I miss you every single day that you’re not around. It sucks when we’re not together” she murmured, getting close to giving him a long, sweet, loving kiss. But even when their kiss was over, Jas didn’t move. She stayed right there in her place with their lips touching. “I love you so fucking much that it kills me when you’re away. I spend the days counting the minutes till I can see your handsome face again, y’know? That’s how crazy I am for you”

“Then come with me, baby. And not just the next two races, come with me the rest of the year, baby”. They talked about it too. They talked about Jas joining him, but somehow, they ended up agreeing on talking about it at some point in the future. The excuse was them wanting to go slow and how she was supposed to be helping in Aoife’s flower shop until Jas figure out what she wanted to do next, but truth was, she was nothing but scared. She was so in love with Daniel that it was terrifying and the fact that Daniel was in love with her was also scary. So far that one was the most wonderful relationship she ever had so she was terrified of ruining it by going with him to every single race. The idea of ruining it in any way just petrified her, but she knew she couldn’t keep postponing their happiness out of fear. She couldn’t do it when Daniel needed her. The emotional rollercoaster of leaving Redbull was coming, and Daniel needed his people around him, which included Jas in one of the first positions. She couldn’t postpone it when she needed him too. “I know what you think and you’re not gonna be a burden, J. You could never be one”

That was also one of the things that were stopping Jas. Joining Daniel mean leaving her job -even if it was with her mom and if it was temporary-, and it also mean depending on him until she could find a job that would allow her to travel. She knew money wasn’t a problem, Daniel was the one paying for her plane tickets, and he would give her a look if she would ever try paying for anything, but she didn’t want to be that kind of girl. She didn’t want people to think she was there for the money, she didn’t want his family and friends to think she was there for it. She didn’t even touch the extension of his card he gave her weeks ago, too scared to give that step. She didn’t want to be a burden in his life when he had already too many things on his mind, so she just gave excuses, but clearly, that was the end of it.

“Danny, I-“ she tried to interrupt, but he cut her with another kiss before he kept talking.

“We can talk about that later, but it’s not important” he insisted, bringing their joined hands together to his lips to kiss her knuckles. “I need you by my side, baby. This year’s been fucking crazy and I don’t think I’m ready to live the rest of it without you. And I know I’m asking for a lot, but can you at least think about it?”

Everyone told her to go slow. Everyone told her to take a deep breath and a firm step on her decision when it came to her relationship with Daniel. It wasn’t that her family or friends didn’t like Daniel, in fact, they adore him, but they also knew Jas. They could see how everything was going fast and the last thing anyone wanted was to see her getting hurt. Not that they thought Daniel would do something to hurt her, but the nature of their relationship was complicated. Distance was hard, his job was complicated and what came with it was even more tricky, so the advice everyone would give her was to think about her choices and not jump into it. That would be the advice she would give to her friend or her sister, but everything was out of the window when it came to Daniel. In the heart vs heart fight, her heart would always win and this time it wasn’t different. This time she could even hear her family and friends asking what the hell was she doing, saying how she was insane, and even checking twice if she was sure about her choice. She could hear her mom and dad talking and telling her to not put her life aside for him, but the second she saw Daniel’s eyes everything else disappeared.

There was nothing else besides his big brown eyes looking at her, shining full of love. There was nothing like their joined hands against his chest and how she could feel his heart beating. There was nothing as the expectation written all over his face as he waited for her answer. But beyond all, there was nothing like the way he made her feel. There was nothing as the love, happiness, and safety she felt by his side, so even if everything could go terribly wrong, she decided to take a leap of faith, hoping everything would turn out just fine.

“Alright, I’m coming. But you paying everything’s temporary, you hear me? I don’t want you to-“. But before Jas could even finish what she was saying, she got interrupted again by Daniel’s lips against her. But this time it wasn’t just him kissing her mouth, this time it was kissing all around her face and neck, all while he whispered ‘Thank you. Thank you. Thank you!’ again and again and again. “You’re welcome, but I’m serious, Dan!”

“Money is something that comes with the job and since I earned it I can spend it on whatever I want, alright? That includes bringing my girl with me. There’s no better what to spend it” he smiled, giving Jas his best smile, which normally would convince her of anything on a normal day.

And maybe another day he could convince her, but that night she wasn’t giving up, so she pointed to him with one finger as she talked firmly. “Temporary, okay?”

“Whatever makes you happy, babe” he nodded, kissing her fingertip as he kept smiling.

If he was happy then it was worth the pain.

“That’s what I like to hear. Now as a payback, you can start ordering food and taking your clothes off” she teased, but like every time, for Daniel her wishes were his command.

And if Daniel was happy, Jas was happy too, so it was more than worth the pain.    

---

Taglist

@amsofftrack​ @d0ntjudgemy50shades​ @a-distantdreamer​ @honeybadgercomeback​

[cross-word]

Snowed Confession

Ethan Landry x Male Reader

Non-ghost face, Ethan, Quinn and reader are Canadian

Word count: 1.2k

Walking into the hallways you hear cheers around you, celebrating winter break is finally here, Christmas, snow and the best two weeks off school, in one week you and your two best friends Quinn and Ethan are flying back to Canada for Christmas.

So your other friends decide to make this week the best week before leaving, “we should go skiing” chad said. “I’ve never done that in my entire life” you said “don’t you live in the good ‘ol north” mindy said sitting down next to anika.

“Yeah and I used to ride the polar bear bus to go to my igloo school” you sarcastically replied flipping mindy off “woah, where’s the Canadian hospitality” Tara joked “I will drown you in maple syrup” you said in a dead tone. “Oh come on it’ll be fun please” chad said dragging the please.

“Fine but I want Ethan to sit next to me” you said opening your phone. “Ohh and why is that?” anika asked, making her eyebrows go up and down. You throw a pillow in her face “Ethan is the only civilized person in this friend group, he doesn’t drool, he doesn’t take up that much space and he keeps to himself” you said listing reasons why you want Ethan.

That went on for a couple minutes “and that’s why ethan is the best person to have next to you when you go for a road trip” you finished your rant “Jesus just marry him at that point” Quinn added.

Everybody was focused on you and barely saw how Ethan’s face blushed the whole time you were ranting, he knew the only reason you want to sit next to him is cause he lets you sleep on him.

Chad coughed “well that’s it then we’ll go for a ski trip in the next week, let’s leave Thursday so we’ll have the whole weekend to ski” Chad proposed, everyone agrees.

Thursday comes around faster than you thought “come one Y/N they’re waiting” Anika groans on how you’ve been quadruple checking everything, “just go down I’ll be right behind you I have to make sure the windows are closed” you said going into each room to check.

You hear the door slam close, when you hear it slam close again, confused you check the main room you see Ethan standing there.

You had a confused look on you “why are you here” you asked triple making sure you had keys on you and lights were off. “It’s time to go Y/N,” Ethan said, grabbing your suitcase and walking to the door.

Being forced to leave you lock your door and walk downstairs seeing mindy and Anika in the car.

Ethan helps put your luggage in the back watching you. “Oh my god finally what took you so long” Mindy asked hitting her head on the steering wheel “I had to make sure we weren’t going to get robbed” you said as Ethan got in the car after you.

Ethan puts his hands on his face trying to get rid of the cold “it doesn’t matter just tell Chad we’re ready to go” he said smiling at you finally the car started and both your vehicle and chads start driving.

You groaned loud “why, New York why do you hate us” complaining about the New York traffic. “Just go to sleep on me I’ll wake you up when we’re close” Ethan suggested. Throwing two melatonin pills in your mouth you were passed out before anyone knew.

Mindy looked at you and Ethan sleeping “how does Ethan sleep when Y/N is snoring into his ear” she asked Quinn “I don’t know they’ve always been like that” she replied continuing to text her boy toy.

Anika looked back at the two of you “I don’t know I think it’s cute” she said smiling, causing Mindy to look back at the two “cute?? Y/N is literally drooling on Ethan’s shoulders” Mindy said looking at her girlfriend.

“Can you guys shut up and let us sleep?” Ethan said, flipping up the eye mask before laying his head on yours.

Before you knew it you were awoken by Ethan with gentle slaps to your face “we’re here idiot” he said wiping the drool off his shoulder with a tissue.

You looked at what he was doing realizing “sorry about that, your shoulders are really comfortable I guess”. You answered, taking a step out of the car and stretching, people passing by would think you’re trying to grab the air.

All of your friends grab their luggage and you all walk into the resort “hey yeah we spoke on the phone a couple hours ago my name Chad Meeks-Martin” he asked the receptionist.

She typed on the computer “three hotel rooms for three days” she asked Chad nods Chad gives you a key card “that's for you and Ethan quinn didn’t want to share a room with you two so she got her own room” he said walking away.

Chad gathers your friend group “ok so all of our rooms are basically together except for Quinn’s” you followed Chad walking in your hotel to see one bed. You and Ethan looked at each other.

You both settle your stuff on the floor and you jump on the bed and pass out for another three hours.

You look at the window to realize it was night time and you felt Ethan pull your body “good morning” Ethan joked at you feeling you wake up as he falls asleep again.

You lay in bed feeling Ethan’s arm come around your waist again “come closer, please” he said and you lay your head on his chest and fall asleep.

You two wake up because of a pounding at your door you open to see Chad “have you guys seen outside” he said barging in “what happening” Ethan asked being drowsy.

“It’s a complete blizzard outside” Chad said “our weekend getaway turned into weekend stay in a hotel” he said putting his hand in his face, “calm down Chad, did you check the forecast when is the blizzard going away” you asked sitting next to him.

“Saturday..” Chad said in his hands “Chad it's Friday, it’ll clear out tomorrow and we can ski tomorrow” Ethan spoke rubbing his back “you guys are right, I should go to Tara” Chad said exiting your room.

“Wow, he’s a bit dramatic” you said as the door closed “yeah and he's not even the gay one it’s you” Ethan joked getting a pillow to his face “let’s just go down stairs for breakfast” you said grabbing his hands.

You saw Mindy and Anika down there deciding to join them “you two are dating right” Mindy asked.

Getting you and ethan to choke on your food “no, why” you asked “cause you two are like me and anika” Mindy said “I mean it’s not like I wouldn’t mind” you confessed ethan looked at you with the biggest smile.

“I love you Y/N” he said, you stare at his beautiful curls and most amazing pair of brown eyes “I love you too Ethan” you confessed.

Maybe being snowed in wasn’t so bad you two thought.

[snugglebug-92]

The One Where They Finally Get Together

The time for world juniors came by fast and you were already on a plane heading to Canada. You had gotten picture of the guys getting on the plane before boarding yourself. You sat next to Logan and the two of you spent most of the flight talking about random things and making plans for all of the dumb things you would do once you landed. Time seemed to fly and the tournament was crazy. You and Logan as well as a few of the other guys got into all sorts of shenanigans all while Jimmy sat back and watched. One night after the game was over and there wasn’t one the next game you said fuck it and got thouroghly intoxicated. You don’t remember too much but you remember knocking on someones door.

“It’s 1 in the morning really Logan,” Jimmy grumbles as he opens the door in just a pair of basketball shorts. If it weren’t for that fact you were drunk you would have been a lot more fazed but you had one thing on your mind making amends.

“Look I get you hate me because you think the whole date with Matthew was a prank but it wasn’t. I didn’t know you were going to be there so when I saw you I freaked out and left. I’m sorry I did that. It was a really bad thing of me to do and I understand that you have every right to be mad at me but I just want you to know I’m sorry. I don’t want you to hate me because I really like you and that’s why Matthew sent the whole thing up. He was trying to set us up and I freaked out. I shouldn’t have walked out like that and I hope one day you can stop hating me or at least start talking to me again. Goodnight Jimmy,” and with that you walked off but not before Jimmy did the only logical thing in his mind. He chased after you barefoot, shirtless, without a phone, and a key to get back into his hotel room.

“Look I should have listened to your side earlier. I’m sorry I didn’t. I was just so frustrated because this girl who is seemingly my dream girl is interested in me. That seemed to good to be true so when you walked out I assumed it was a prank and I just built up a barrier because I didn’t know what else to do,” Jimmy calls out causing you to turn around.

“Hey it’s okay. We both messed up but it got us here. We’re talking again and that’s what matters in the long run right?” you question.

“Right. Now I feel really dumb but I kind of left all my stuff in my room including my key,” Jimmy trails off.

“I have an extra bed. We’ll figure it out tommorrow,” you shrug. The two of you walk to your room and you walk in. You turn on the shower and while Jimmy instantly falls asleep you throw up before getting into the shower. Once you are done you get out advil for the next morning and fall asleep. 

The next morning you almost scream when you wake up and see the extra bed occupied but then you remember the bits and pieces of last night and think to yourself whatever happened is a good thing because Jimmy’s talking to you again. You take the advil and turn over in bed. You were never drinking like that again. Jimmy stirs and the you hear a grumble and then he gets out of bed. You sit up and take in the sight of his bare back. He was good looking you weren’t going to deny it. After a moment he turns around and you quickly advert your sight.

“Hey um thanks for letting me crash here last night,” Jimmy says not sure what else he should say.

“Yeah of course. I wouldn’t leave you stranded like that,” you smile at the boy. 

“Also I’m sorry I’ve been such a dick to you lately. I just throught ignoring you would prevent me from getting pranked again. I should have heard out,” he sighs. 

“Hey it’s okay. We’ve both made mistakes but it’s okay,” you look at him and you can tell he feels bad. But you both messed up and now you’re here. He’s in your hotel room and the two of you are talking and the drunked stupor you were in last night ended up fixing everything between the two of you. Your eyes dart around the room and you know he should definitely be getting back soon but you had to be careful. If anyone saw him leave your room in this state things would get messy and rumors would fly around like there was no tomorrow which could cause you to lose your position as team photographer.

“How am I going to get back to my room?” Jimmy questions breaking you out of your transe.

“I have your roommates phone number. But you should probrally put more clothes on and shoes before you head back,” you sigh before running a hand through your hair.

“Okay and where am I going to get said clothes from?” Jimmy questions. You get out of bed reach into your suitcase and grab a t-shirt as well as a random pair of flip flops before handing them to the boy.

“There you have clothes and shoes. Do you want me to call Logan now?” you question as he puts a shirt on.

“Yeah sure. I should probrally get back before coach gets suspicious,” he shrugs. Your phone call with Logan is short and thankfully he’s more than willing to keep the fact that Jimmy was in your room last night a secret. He’s mainly just happy that things should go back to normal once the three of you go back to Minnesota. You walk Jimmy back to his room and ignore Logan’s pointed look before heading back to your own room. If you didn’t have to worry about game photography today, you were going to the hot tub. You go to bed early tonight knowing you would probably be up with the boys getting into some type of trouble tomorrow since it was New Years Eve. The boys end up winning their game and go out to celebrate. A few of the boys who were 19 decided to test their luck in the bars while you hung out with a few of the other guys. Of course, with it being New Year's Eve a few of the guys who were bold enough asked you to be their New Year's kiss. Your favorite was when Cutter came over his face beet red and a few of the boys laughing.

“So it’s New Years Eve,” he says.

“It appears it is,” you hum.

“I was wondering if you would be my New Year's kiss?” he questions. You look at him with an eyebrow raised before looking at the other boys.

“Oh, William, I’ll tell you what if it’s midnight and you still haven’t found a girl to kiss you, I’ll be your New Year's kiss but for now I’ll give you this,” you place your lips on his cheek and walk away as you see the boys go crazy. You laugh as his face is somehow redder than before then sit down at the hotel bar. The bartender makes you a drink remembering you from the night before and then places it in front of you.

“So how do you know all those boys?” she questions.

“Well, I go to school with a few of them but for the rest I’m their team photographer,” you respond as you take a sip of your drink.

“So, I know this isn’t exactly professional of me, but do you think you could set me up with one. I mean it doesn’t have to be a long-term thing because I know you aren’t from here.”

“Yeah sure, I should be able to do that,” you smile.

“The one who came up to you. The last one, you don’t have anything going on with him right?” she asks. You laugh and shake your head.

“Cutter no. He’s a sweetheart but we don’t have anything going on. I promise,” you hold out your pinkie and she laughs before interlocking hers with yours. The two of you talk inbetween the few customers she has and soon it’s 11:30. You excuse yourself and go to find Cutter. It doesn’t take long because he’s right where he last was. Sitting with the small group of boys who are whispering about something or someone.

“So, I might have found you an even better New Year's kiss,” you whisper to the boy and watch as his eyes go wide. He quickly gets up from the circle and looks at you.

“Who?” he questions.

“Well what do you think of miss bartender over there?” you question.

“Well she’s a smokeshow a real beaut but there’s no way she’d go for me,” he responds staring at her.

“I wouldn’t be so sure because it just so happens that she wants you to be her New Year's kiss,” you watch as his reaction changes and he becomes a lot more confident and then looks back at you.

“Really? You’re being dead seriuos,” he questions.

“I’m not joking. I’ll introduce you to her but I need one small favor.”

“Shit anything you name it.”

“What are the odds you happen to know the wear-a-bouts of a certain player?”

“Probrally pretty high. If they went to the program we all had a life 360 as a joke. Just tell me who.”

“Promise you won’t judge me or say anything.”

“Yeah sure,” he shrugs.

“No Cut please,” you beg.

“Yeah I won’t judge or you tell anyone okay.”

“It’s Jimmy,” you respond after a second and watch the emotions on his face go from happy to confused to happy once again. The boy pulls his phone out and checks Jimmy’s location before handing it to you.

“Does that make sense to you? He’s in the hotel but not on our side,” Cutter says confused. You zoom in a little and see he’s exactly where your room would be.

“Yeah that makes perfect sense to me. Now let’s go introduce you to your woman,” you say dragging him by the arm. The introduction is as quick as can you can make it before you are rushing off to your room. Thankfully you are on the same floor so when you get off the elevator you see Jimmy a few doors dowm and rush after him. You know it has to be close to midnight and you really have one shot at this so you have to be quick about it.

“Hey Jimmy,” you call out.

“Oh hey,” he smiles at you and it takes everything in you to not kiss him then and there.

“Do you want to watch the fireworks together? My room has a balcony,” you offer knowing that way the two of you would be alone.

“Sure,” he responds and the two of you head to your room. You get back and look at the time. 11:53. Shit theres not a lot of time to do this. You quickly grab the bottle of wine from your fridge before going out to the balcony. You open the bottle and take a sip before offering it to Jimmy. He qwirks his eyebrow at you causing you to laugh.

“Jimmy half of your teammate are out at random bars drinking who knows what but you’re afraid of some wine,” you roll your eyes before taking another sip.

“Fine hand it over,” he responds before taking the bottle from you. He takes a rather large sip and you just shake your head.

“Easy kid I’m not going to take it away from you,” you laugh as he hands it back. You take another sip before handing it back to him and he does the same thing. It’s when he does it the 5th time you say something.

“Jim look I’m glad your not afraid of some wine but why are you just about chugging it?” you question almost laughing. He hands the bottle back to you and takes a step closer.

“Because I need courage,” he say and that’s when you heard the faint count down.

10-9-8-7

“For what?” you question?

6-5-4

“To do this,” he says.

3-2 and then the count down hits 1 and his lips are on yours and you drop the bottle of wine out of pure shock causing Jimmy to pull away thinking he completely fucked everything up. Then you grab him by the sweatshirt and pull him back in as your lips meet his once again. The two of you kiss as the fireworks go off not even caring to look at them. Your hands are around his neck place with his hair while his wrap around your waist. When you eventually pull away you rest your forehead against his before placing one last kiss on his lips.

“You know you didn’t have to drink all that wine to kiss me. I was going to do it if you didn’t,” you laugh.

“What?” he says not believing it completely.

“You know I like you and the reason I wanted you to come here is so there wouldn’t be 10 people watching us kiss,” you look as the boy his face in shock.

“I can’t believe it. The pretty girl wanted to kiss me on new year's,” he says looking at you cupping your jaw.

“Well now I think you owe me a date,” you giggle.

“Oh do I now?” he questions.

“But first miraculously the wine bottle didn’t break so I think it’s a sign that we have to finish it once we go inside,” you smile pulling him back towards you and giving him another kiss.

“Okay whatever you say,” he just shakes his head at you.

The next morning, you both wake up but this time in the same bed and you help sneak him back to his room before you call Matthew to tell him everything. You promise that once you get back you can redo the double date, but you and Jimmy have to go on an actual date first. The tournament goes by fast and soon you’re on the flight back and U.S.A. has a bronze medal.

[stinkytrashman]

info dump about these two losers under the cut

so these freaks of nature are Zoe and Darcy. Zoe is a microbiologist (more like ex-microbiologist) who was hired by the big cool government thing to come on down to Ontario™ to find a cure for a super bad virus that was going around and killing lots of people. She’s like “👍” because she loves helping people and she gets hired along with this other scientist who’s like “wow you’re so cool let’s kiss” and they kiss and smooch and have a fun time until KABOOM the cure they were making turns out to be a SECOND deadly virus that instead of kills you turns you into a crazy mindless zombie with a weird fungal growth growing out of your body. She’s like WOAH WHAT THE SHITFARTBUTTNUGGET and ends up also getting infected by the zombie virus. She wakes up in her now broken lab all alone and looks outside and goes “woah” because she had been in a coma for 8 years and everything went to shit when the zombies got out. Now she’s like “shit this is crazy. Oh well there’s no cure and hey where did my crazy scientist girlfriend go?” And she’s like “SUPRISE MOTHER FUCKER” because her crazy scientist girlfriend actually SABOTAGED the cure and is using a special frequency to mind control the zombies and zoe is like “shit I gotta skedaddle”

across the country (in Saskatchewan (oh yeah this whole story takes place in Canada 🇨🇦🇨🇦🇨🇦🇨🇦🇨🇦🇨🇦🇨🇦🇨🇦🇨🇦🇨🇦🇨🇦🇨🇦🍁🍁🍁🇨🇦🍁🇨🇦🍁🇨🇦🍁🇨🇦🍁🇨🇦🇨🇦 btw because I’m Canadian as fuck and have never stepped a foot inside America)) there’s this loner biker girl named Darcy who is camping out in a warehouse for a while. She was away at college when the zombie apocalypse started, away from her whole family because they were in Alberta and she was off doing school or whatever in Quebec and so she wasn’t there to save her fam when they all got brutally MURDERED by zombies they got ATE they got DEVOURED. Anyways so now she’s in Saskatchewan and she’s trying to get to BC because there’s a human settlement there and she wants to go and stay because she’s getting lonely and missing her dead family. So on her way she comes across this abandoned mall and finds Zoe and Darcy’s like “AAAAHH FUCK A ZOMBIE” and Zoe is like “AAAHH FUCK A HUMAN” and they fight a lil and Darcy is like “why are you sentient????” And Zoe is like “idk man why are you attacking me?????”

so some lore there’s 5 “breeds” of zombie because there were multiple strains of the “cure” that they were testing that turned them into zombies. There’s the regular zombies, the hivemind zombies, the flying squirrel zombies, the hyper intelligent zombies (which barely even count as a strain because there are only 4 in the whole world) and the super buff zombies. So they all behave slightly different BUT they all eat flesh, try to spread the virus by biting people (which we later find out in the story it’s not a virus it’s a fungi) and they don’t attack others that smell like zombies. Also when the virus got out it only got out in North America ™ and so Canada, the US and Mexico are all an apocalyptic wasteland but everywhere else in the world is like. Fine. They just closed off their borders and they’re chill

so darcy ends up kidnapping Zoe to take her along on a big ass road trip to BC so she can basically use Zoe as a human shield to deter other zombies. Darcy hates hates HATESSSSSS the guys that made the virus because the zombies killed her entire family and Zoe doesn’t wanna tell her that she helped make it because uh oh she’s slowly falling in love with Darcy oooooooohhhhhhh. And at the same time she is trying to put as much distance as she can between her and Ontario so she can stay tf away from her ex and her crazy mind control powers oooooohhhhhhhhhhhhh

[my-chaos-radio]

Release: June 18, 2021

Lyrics:

I wanna wake up every mornin', feelin' better

'Cause I know you're sleeping by my side

And every moment we're together

I remember just to keep it all for you and I

I see that body in the sunlight

Feelin' the heat and it feels right

I wanna do this for the rest of my life

Oh, I know, I know, you know the vibe

I wanna stay with you every night

You and me underneath the lights

I'm always good when you're by my side

I know, you know you're on my mind

You really make me come alive

I wanna be here for the rest of my life

Looking for sun rays, needin' them good days

Fly me away-away, you're my holiday

Cool like the ocean, lost in emotion

Fly me away-away, you're my holiday

Whenever you're here it's a good time

Strawberry shirts in the sunshine

Ice-cold drinks 'til the moonlight

You're my holiday

Whenever you're here it's a good time

Strawberry shirts in the sunshine

Ice-cold drinks 'til the moonlight

You're my holiday

I wanna stay up 'til the mornin' with you talkin'

Just to listen to the things you say

And every time we're in the middle of the city

I imagine us so far away

I see that body in the sunlight (sunlight)

Feelin' the heat and it feels right (feels right)

I wanna do this for the rest of my life

Oh, I know you know you're on my mind (yeah)

You really make me come alive (yeah)

I wanna be here for the rest of my life

Looking for sun rays, needin' them good days

Fly me away-away, you're my holiday (you're my holiday)

Cool like the ocean, lost in emotion

Fly me away-away, you're my holiday

Whenever you're here it's a good time (good time)

Strawberry shirts in the sunshine (sunshine)

Ice-cold drinks 'til the moonlight (moonlight)

You're my holiday (you're my holiday)

Whenever you're here it's a good time (good time

Strawberry shirts in the sunshine (sunshine)

Ice-cold drinks 'til the moonlight (moonlight)

You're my holiday

Songwriter:

Ooh, ooh

Ooh, you're my holiday

Ooh, ooh

Ooh, you're my holiday

Jake Gosling / Nicholas James Gale / Olajide Olatunji / William Edward Vaughan

SongFacts:

"Holiday" is a song by British YouTuber and rapper KSI from his second studio album All Over the Place (2021). It was written by KSI along with his producers Jake Gosling, Digital Farm Animals and William Vaughan. The song was released for digital download and streaming on June 18, 2021 by RBC Records and BMG as the album's fourth single. An accompanying music video was released on the same day. “Holiday” is a folksy mid-tempo pop song that reflects on the honeymoon period of a relationship.

"Holiday" debuted at number two on the UK Singles Chart and was certified Platinum by the British Phonographic Industry (BPI) for selling more than 600,000 units in the UK. The song also entered the music charts of Australia, Canada, Denmark, Iceland, India, Lithuania, the Netherlands, New Zealand, Norway, the Republic of Ireland, Singapore, Sweden and the United States. “Holiday” was nominated for the BRIT Award for Song of the Year at the 2022 ceremony.

Rob Copsey of the Official Charts Company described the song as a reflection "on the honeymoon period of a relationship" and a "hopeful, folksy mid-tempo track".

The song debuted at number two on the UK Singles Chart on June 25, 2021, making it that week's highest-charting new entry and his seventh top ten hit.

[pbandjesse]

Today was not what I expected at all. It was really good in parts and really not and others but we survived to see another day.

I slept okay here. I was very comfortable. I did not really want to get up. And I woke up at 7:30 when my alarm went off and then reset my alarm for 8:30 and go back sleep. I would wake up a little bit before my alarm went off and it didn't really matter that I had slept in. My first group wasn't supposed to come till 9:45.

So I got washed up and I got dressed. I didn't wear the outfit I have planned but I really liked the outfit I ended up.

Help a little bit better about myself to die. I still feel like my face seems wrong. And I was talking to CJ about it and I think I might be holding my breathing in the wrong spot. Like I'm holding my face incorrectly and pulling my chin in. So I'm going to try to be mindful about that.

I also just think it'll help me breathing.

Because breathing was hard today. There's more wildfire smoke coming down from Canada and we were back in the 170s for air quality. Not as bad as it was a couple weeks ago, but hazy.

I didn't really know if it was going to affect us today because no one communicate than anything to me. I had my yogurt and I walked down to the lodge to get to cartons of milk to replace the ones I had used. And then I came back up here and I started working on my knitting while I waited for my group. I also started reading one of my dear America books that I have.

And then Alexi walks by and she's like are you ready to teach inside today? And I'm like what? Apparently the Y made the call that we need to be inside as much as possible and cancel any programs that are outside. But mine's kind of both so I was a little confused. And she said that I should try to have my group fit at my picnic table in the building. So I had to take as much of my materials outside inside and set up a new still life and set up spaces for the kids to work. Which is fine I just wish someone would have told me earlier. I don't like that I felt like I was finding out on the fly.

And it ended up not mattering anyway because none of my group showed up this morning. I was supposed to have the boys and neither came. That was really upset about that! I felt stupid. I just hate the lack of communication. I just want to know what's going on.

So I started working on my boxes for color wars this weekend. I got paper cut and a different paints collected and brushes and things. I got really frustrated with my big paper roll and I kept threatening to die of things were even a little annoying. I was just really frustrated and just had to find some way to make myself laugh.

While I was working on that Tony came up to ask about helping him turn a pair of pants and shorts but because of the way that the cargo pockets were it would have made them like 4-in inseams and he didn't want hochie daddy shorts. So that was no. And we chatted for a while about how bad the communication has been. And he told me that Jorge wanted to do arts and crafts still even in their group missed it. So I said I would bring some over to the woodlands village.

I came down there with watercolor paint for him and brought some extras in case I need the kids wanted to do it too but they were watching a movie. So I said bye and went back up to my art building to read.

I double check with Cody that we were having the same lunch as normal and then when the time came I went down to the lodge.

Meals were a mess today. Every single meal was chicken nuggets. With some other side. Lunch was chicken with mashed potatoes which were incredibly salty. And vegetarian chicken was very overcooked. Apparently all of the food that was in the fridge spoiled when we lost power and this was the stuff that was still frozen. So it makes sense but it just kind of sucked today.

I enjoyed Celia and Annabelle's company at lunch though and we had some laughs and talked about how we can improve the enclosures for the animals and it was just a nice time.

Eventually I went back up to arts and crafts to chill until they camp was supposed to come. I was told that they were coming and they did. But then there was only five of them. And one of them wasn't even one of their campers they were from day camp one. But it was fine. They were actually a lot of fun. And they worked really hard on their drawings and once they were done their art that I planned they asked to use clay and draw and we were just having a blast up here. And I was really enjoying talking to my co-workers. I let them stay a lot longer than the plan time so I lost my break but I had such a long break in the morning that I didn't actually care. I was just having a good time doing my job.

Once they left I tested CJ to see if tipis was coming but she didn't know. So I sat down to read my book but then all of a sudden they were there. And I wasn't sure what to do with them because the plan had been to have everyone sit inside but there was 14 of them and their teenagers and so they were not all going to fit at the stable. And so we caught Alexa but she didn't have a good answer so I just decided to tell them all to grab watercolors and an object to draw and we would go to the dining hall. And it was not an ideal situation at all but you know what we made it work.

And it was pretty good time overall. The kids worked really hard and they were a lot of fun to talk to and there was some other drama because apparently one of the little girl cabins tried to clean but mixed bleach and ammonia in their bathroom by accident and created mustard gas. And so they had to evacuate their building. And it was just a day. We were really going through it.

Once TV was done they help me bring everything back up to arts and crafts and I gave them some stuff for their award projects that they need to do and then they left me.

I would spend some time reading and eventually Ty and Quan joined me. They sat on my back tables and ate their meal and we just gossiped and talked and it was a lot of fun. They filled me in on some of their feelings about stuff and I got to learn some of the weird things that are going on different villages that I don't always know about. It was very much a field report and that was a lot of fun to do because I haven't done in a while.

Eventually Quan would have to go but before he did we all laid in the hammocks and just chatted and it was a lot of fun. I just really felt connected to other people in a way I haven't yet at camp and that was really really nice. It was funny though because I was telling Ty that our age gap is the same as the age gap between them and the kids. So I see them as children which is why I don't participate in some of the things that they do outside of camp. But while they thought it was very funny they did seem to understand what I meant. And it was just nice to talk to them.

Eventually they would both leave me and a couple of the tipi kids came back to wash my arts and crafts stuff that was donated from Camp Spencer for service hours. So I pulled a chair out front and gave them some scrubby things and a washbin and they worked for about 45 minutes and I read my book while they chatted and told me all their good gossip and weird stories. And it was a lot of fun.

Soon Tony would come by with Ty and they apparently were playing a game that is Camp wide where people are trading objects. Some objects are "worth" more than other things. Black plastic spoons are very rare and will worth a lot. So I happen to have a bunch of those so I handed those off. And other objects are worth more because you can trade based on someone's perceived value. And I have a whole box of weird objects so I let Ty and Tony go through it and they fought over it and ran around the building and it was very silly. But everyone was having a great time and there was lots of laughing. And everyone was like why do you have all this stuff?? And I'm like I don't know I just collect things over time. And some of it was old pieces of dollhouse furniture and collections and things I've come across and been given and I was glad that it was going to some people that would enjoy it even if it was for a silly game.

It ended up being called the trinket game and I decided I wanted it in on it too. So I held back a couple things that I thought were interesting and I gave a couple away to Louisa and to CJ. So that they can participate if they wanted to. Later in the night I found out that Louisa traded the pen I gave her for a battery and then traded that for a mini jenga block which she eventually traded for the god pen which is blue. And she's trying to trade it up for the god egg. I don't know who has the god egg right now but that's high prize. I have not traded anything yet but I will. Maybe tomorrow. I have some really neat little objects that I think I can get even more neat little objects for. And I just need it'll be funny to be part of the ecosystem. The economy if you will.

Dinner was fine. I really liked the roll. They also have very good tater tots. And I set up my table in the back again and CJ and Annabelle joined me and it was fun. It was nice talking to them. And just catching up about the highs and lows of the day. We're all kind of already a little burnt out and it's sucks that that's the position we've been put in when it's only the first week of camp. It's literally felt like a month. I really hope next week feels more normal because this week has been hard.

After dinner I wasn't really sure what was happening. There was a birthday so they sang and there was ice cream sandwiches and then they were talking about flag and honor cabin and Kona ice. And no one really knew what was going on. So I walked back up to the art building to look for more trinkets and then I came back to the lodge and would go with CJ to help collect the mail to go hand out at flag.

And at 5:00 they get honor cabin so that meant I'm going to go get Kona ice before there's a line of children. So I got my snowball and I decided to get pina colada like always but I put a little mango in it for fun. I may or may not do that again. maybe next week I will try a whole new flavor. There's one called tigers blood that I'm interested in.

I wasn't sure if I was going to go to skit night. But I decided to because CJ wanted me to sit with her. And it was long. We were there from 7:30 until 9:30. They really need to put a cap on how long the kids skits can be if they're going to allow them to do skits. Because those first three took a full half an hour. Blanche and her group performed a song. One of her original songs. She played the guitar while the kids song and it was so sweet. And there was a couple shadow boxing rounds and then the tipis did a hilarious inflatable boxing match which was so good. And then some of the girls did skit of counselor impressions but it was like more dynamic than normal so it was really really good. That was probably one of my favorites. They all pretended to be kids coming to ask to go outside in a storm and they would pretend to be a specific counselor and respond the way that that counselor would respond And it was very funny. They really captured the essence.

But it was long and all of us were kind of done by the end. The last one was the oldest boys doing shadow boxing which was fine but two other group sat down the shadow boxing as well so it was a little bit like ugh. And they took like 15 minutes to do their whole sketch because there was a highlight reel pretending that like these two guys were like teammates and then rivals and then they had a falling out and never played again and became coaches and it was a really good storyline but the actual shadow boxing took way too long. I do got to give it to them though Quan had spent $80 to buy a trophy that he had engraved and I just love the commitment to the bit. That is hilarious.

But finally we were done and I came back up to the arts building and wash my face and put on lotion and I feel a lot better. I did have to go back down to the lodge to get my picnic table because I had left it there because someone told me they wanted to use it for their skit but then that did not happen so it's fine. I mostly just wanted to be laying down.

And that is where I am now. I brushed my teeth and I'm charging my phone and I am hoping that tomorrow feels more normal. I have stockade and pioneers and woodlands and some day camp groups and then I get to go home. And I talked to Alexa before I came up here and she said she's not sure what tomorrow is going to look like because of the air quality. It's gotten worse as the day's gone by. But hopefully it continues on the other way and it doesn't get super bad again. Let's hope.

I hope that you all have a great night tonight. I hope that the smoke isn't bothering you. I love you all. Good night!

[jodilin65]

THURSDAY, APRIL 30, 2009 There was quite a ruckus under the floorboards just now. When you live in the woods, tons of mice and other stuff live with you, and from the sound of it, a rat or a cat was chasing and terrorizing a mouse. We heard a scuffle, then a mouse squealing in terror. For a minute I thought something was trapped under there, but we’ve heard this before, and so it can’t always be something getting trapped. For the longest time, we couldn’t pinpoint where it was coming from since it seemed to be everywhere. Yet there haven’t been any droppings inside the place, so now we’re pretty sure it’s under the space that runs under the floors.

Anyway, today was a better day than yesterday. I got my incense and my CD, too. Do we still think they’re stealing our mail? Well, now we’re not so sure, but we’re still getting out of there cuz we have to. They’re going out of business.

Yay, my first Italian dream! Tom and I were looking at a computer screen and paper money was pictured on it. I pointed to the screen and excitedly said “Soldi!” Tom said, “Soldi, huh?” I nodded and said, “Soldi and denaro is money, and monete is coins.” That’s 4 languages I’ve dreamt in now.

My teeth are acting up again, so if nothing’s changed by the time this special toothpaste runs out I won’t be buying any more. I had to use the Crest Sensitivity even though the Restore says it helps with sensitivity. It’s still looking like, yeah, I am going to have to go to the free clinic. I can’t go on like this forever, and like I’ve been saying for months, even years, I’m not likely to be insured before I’m 65.

Got letters from both Mary and Paula. Paula enclosed $10 for me to ship her the stuff she wants. We should be able to get it off to her Monday. We’re also going to set up a new email account as well for us both to use.

Mary’s doing well, and I think that’s it for now.

WEDNESDAY, APRIL 29, 2009 Today, almost yesterday, turned out to be a perfectly shitty day. First the helicopters return to wake me up, and then my package can’t be delivered cuz the fucking UPS Store people weren’t there when they were supposed to be so they could claim it! What’s the point of having this type of mail service if they’re not going to be available some of the time to accept packages?! And what’s the point of living out in the woods if I’m just going to get woken up anyway?! My sleep is so damn cursed no matter what! First it’s cuz Jesse can’t stop coming down here, then it’s the renters shooting, and now all this insane helicopter activity. The fucking things really make up for the sonic booms we had down in the desert. This project that they’re doing – whatever it is – is obviously not going to end anytime soon. So now I’m scrambling to get back on days and stay there as long as I can. I swear, if it’s not one thing it’s another waking me up. When they stop flying practically an inch over our heads, the renters will go back to playing target practice or something.

As for the package of incense, Tom reminded me that one of his packages didn’t get delivered once, but it made it the next day. Also, because UPS and FedEx are competitors, they’re not going to go out of their way to cooperate with each other. Yeah, I know, and we’re the ones that have to deal with it. I just hope they can stop playing games so I don’t have to have the package returned to NY to be shipped directly here which I should’ve done in the first place.

My teeth are acting up again. This Restore toothpaste says it fights sensitivity, but I don’t know if it’s worth it or not. It’s too soon to say for sure.

It’s amazing the documents they put online. Everything from mortgages to loans, repossessed items to property sales. And of course, some states air out people’s criminal dirty laundry. Canada may have a privacy act, but not here! Here we have the Freedom of Information Act and people who believe your business is yours and your business is theirs, too. I don’t know why it bothers so many people, though. I can see it bothering someone looking for a job with a record, but as long as no one has your SS# none of the info can be used against you.

Tom and I joked about being net detectives since most people aren’t smart enough to know how to check others out, but I think it’d be boring digging up info on strangers. Either way, just gimme a name and I can practically tell you the last time they peed or what they ate for dinner in 1960! Ain’t America grand?

According to the documents I found, it looks like my maternal grandparents may’ve lived in Brimfield before they built/bought the Longmeadow house next to ours, also built/bought at the same time in 1966.

We got a kick out of learning that my parents’ house payments on their first house were just $77 in 1957! Ah, to be able to pay so little.

Passed IT 102 with an 85%, better than the 82% I got in IT 101. 101 & 102 are 50 hours, but 201 & 202 are 30 hours. I just wish they’d add a little grammar explanation in between and not go over so many of the same words over and over, but that’s how these full-immersion courses work. You just dive right in. It’s still fun, though!

TUESDAY, APRIL 28, 2009 I wasn’t going to do an entry today, but then said what the hell? Just heard Jesse buzzing around on the ATV. I don’t think I’ve ever heard him on it this late. I hope nothing’s wrong. Like with the well or the renters. We haven’t seen the dogs again, and I hope Tom’s right in saying that seeing them the other day was a fluke. He thinks they were weeding or something and they got loose.

Anyway, Jesse didn’t work the last two days and so it’s been quiet. I think he had a visitor today, though. Before I went out to run while Tom walked, the dogs went off for a minute, then after we came inside we heard a couple of car doors. We think that’s what it was anyway.

The weather was great for running; a cool breeze yet warm sun. However, days like today and yesterday makes me think that yes, I would choose the desert over this climate. Since when does it get down to the low 40s at night in Arizona? These cold snaps are getting old!

My incense is coming tomorrow! I can’t wait to have the place filled with good smells, and I better fucking get the package, too. Tom says they’ll give it to me cuz it’s a big package. Just as soon as we’re done with them, though, so they can’t play spite games, we’re going to voice our suspicions to the BBB.

I now have 17 tweeters following me.

Off to finish IT 102!

MONDAY, APRIL 27, 2009 I looked up civil traffic violations and found that they commonly include speeding, parking in no-parking zones, running red lights, failing to obey traffic signs, driving in the wrong lane, driving without a seatbelt, and driving too slow on interstate highways. So it looks like the worst-case scenario, Stacey will have to pay $572, but not go to jail. Aw, too bad! She probably never did in the first place, after all.

We suspect they’ve been stealing some of our mail at the UPS Store. Little things like samples and small wins such as the CD I just got from Kiwi. So we’ve been weighing the pros and cons of getting a PO Box, having the mail delivered here, or using some other mail service. The problem with the PO Box is they don’t accept UPS & FedEx and a lot of the sweeps won’t let you enter with a PO Box. Bad economy or not, I enter hundreds of sweeps a day, I win something every few days, and that all stopped when we got this box last June. Amazing coincidence, huh? Yet we got a lot of stuff at the Carmichael box, so they don’t all steal. If we do go with another mail service place, we’ll only sign up for 6 months to test them out. Another reason we’re hesitant to get mail here, not that we don’t trust Jesse, is that when we move it may confuse the carriers with one name being forwarded from one place while another isn’t.

It’s been nice and quiet. I wonder if Brandy had her puppies yet. We saw a jackrabbit earlier. It’s deer season again, too. Haven’t heard the coyotes howling lately.

Now would be the ideal time to go to Italy while no one’s hiring and before we get a dog, not that Jesse wouldn’t keep it up at his place if we did, but we don’t have money for the new luggage we’d need or for food. And of course if he hadn’t gone and lost his passport, that’d help, too! He keeps saying he’ll find it. I keep saying he should call the American Embassy. He’s as good at losing things as I am with languages. Then again, why take a trip that’d cost us hundreds? Especially if one of us isn’t very excited about it.

My ear and teeth are both doing better. We’re now pretty convinced that a big part of the pressure problems I was having with the ear was due to the extreme elevation in Oregon, but now that we’re down here in Cali, it’s been getting better over time.

It’s too soon to say how effective the Restore toothpaste is, but the tooth that broke up in Oregon didn’t fall out completely and it’s black and ugly. The rest are yellow as hell, but that’s cuz I have a cup of tea every day. It’s part of my diet regimen to have Oolong tea.

It’s so sad that Farrah Fawcett is dying and she’s only 62. She’s got anal cancer, the poor thing, and her son, in jail for heroin, was allowed a supervised visit to her.

For some reason I regarded her as a stuck-up, conceited individual for the longest time, then over the years I’d see her in a scattering of interviews and decided she really isn’t much different than the average Jane. It’s still kind of sad cuz even though Kate was my favorite angel and I quit watching the show after she left, Farrah was a huge icon for many of those within my age group.

Bendejo’s eating regular rat food right now. The other one just wants junk.

The last dream I remember wasn’t a pleasant one. Tom and I were vacationing somewhere (I think) and he was off browsing in one store while I was in another. Two female employees came to detain me, insisting I was going to steal something, though I sure wasn’t. I was simply browsing. I said, “Look, I’ve just been diagnosed with breast cancer (I didn’t like that part), my mother has breast cancer, my father has a bum ticker, so I don’t need this crap!”

Yet I continued to wait and wait and it eventually got dark. I worried about Tom who would certainly be getting worried about me by now, wondering where the hell I could be.

Then the manager stepped in and he said, “I think you’ve been wasting poor Jodi’s time. You can go now.” And I literally took his hand and kissed it.

Then I asked this other lady if she could page Tom for me to let him know where I was. She said yes, walked through a tiny pool of water that was about 3” deep, picked up a hose that sort of looked like a dryer hose, and paged “Arthur.”

“Arthur?” I asked. “That’s my father’s name. Why are you calling him Arthur?”

SUNDAY, APRIL 26, 2009 Boy, those OLSers really like people-info sites! Someone posted a thread wanting to know how they could find out for free if someone has a record. I’d already known of some places to go for that, but someone provided a link to a place I’d never heard of before, and wow!

Let’s just say that some people I thought were clean – or at least relatively clean – aren’t so clean after all, and those who are naughty are even naughtier than I thought!

Besides digging up my own dirt – LOL – let’s see, big sis got sued by some hospital a couple of years ago. Nothing too big, but big enough. She was ordered to pay a total of $766 but was allowed to make weekly payments of $35.

But if she’s been working in some hospital and her husband owns his own business, why would she be so broke that she’d have to make payments?

Maybe I was wrong in assuming God not only protected my perps but that He also made sure they were living it up, cuz dear old Joely got sued a hell of a lot worse than that! She not only tried to get out of having to pay rent at some apartment complex, but she tried to rip off a daycare place too, and get free service for the little mistake she made that we taxpayers had to pay for. She lost both cases and was ordered to pay over a grand for each one.

Thank you, God, for showing her what it’s like to have to pay thousands of dollars, even if she deserved to and I didn’t. Now could you please give her a little taste of what it’s like to lose your freedom for a while? Lost sleep, cold showers, inedible food?

She and Mike have been duking it out in family court over the mistake since ’95, and now I know his last name. Figures he has to have a common name! Got too many hits on him, but I’m sure he’s got a nice, lengthy record of his own.

And while I didn’t bother to check, I’m sure she tormented her neighbors in PA & VA, too.

Got a lot of hits on the pig, but with a name that’s also common, who knows what’s his and what isn’t? He wasn’t worth the time it would take to go through them all, but I did leave him a less-than-pleasant review at a cop-rating site. I can’t believe he’s still on the force! Then again, I can. They all protect their own, don’t they?

Just like with the lawyer-rating site, it’s legal and I refuse to allow my right to free speech to be violated again in any way. If you threaten someone or falsely claim they won something – of course you’re asking for it – but nothing I did was illegal or dishonest, so I went for it. I simply stated the facts. I only had so much space to do it in so I just got right to the point about his conning, tricking and manipulating me on behalf of a personal friend who had a case and a vendetta going against me and how false and fabricated evidence was thrown in and information was withheld from me that could’ve helped me. But I didn’t know it until it was too late and I’d already been convicted.

What do I expect to come of it? Well, nothing of course, other than the peace of mind that comes with knowing that I finally got the chance to speak up after what he helped put me through, and not just in my journal or to those closest to me.

I like how it says, “You have the right to remain informed,” on the site, and we SHOULD have the right to remain informed, and if what I had to say about this twisted piece of shit can help someone else whom he may be using and abusing with his badge against – great. I think it’s great that one can now post their experiences with crooked cops, lawyers, doctors and people like that. Especially with so many of them falling into corruption.

Now here’s the biggest shocker of all. It totally cracks me up with laughter! Stacey may be doing a little time herself! LOL

Like I said, this one’s got me laughing the hardest. I guess it’s cuz it’s the most shocking. The others were assholes through and through and so it was no surprise to learn they’ve been in and out of jail and court. I still can’t believe the judge didn’t see Joely’s true colors shining through, and that she and the pig were buddies, but hey, it was Arizona. And she was black and I was white. That oughta tell anyone who’s ever lived there more than enough.

I just can’t picture Stacey getting arrested for drunk driving! It looks like that’s what the civil traffic violation is all about, but I can’t say for sure. It could be for speeding, running a light, or rear-ending someone, but it looks like a DUI to me. It happened in January and she’s got court dates for May and July, so whatever the outcome ends up being – and that’s a scary thought being in Arizona – it’s not going to happen for a while yet.

LOL, I honestly can’t picture her getting busted any more than I can picture my mother getting busted! I wonder, did she think of me? Did she think, so this is what it’s like? This is what she went through? However, she wouldn’t know I did time unless she recognized me on the news 9 years ago (my name had changed by then) or had read my journal.

LOL, Oh, my God, it’s just too funny! Too bad we weren’t arrested at the same time. Wouldn’t that have been loads of fun – Ahahahahaha!!!

Of course, I couldn’t resist, dropping the link off at her place of work, if she hasn’t already lost her job there. LOL

James also had a justice civil case in which he was the plaintiff, though it was dismissed, so he didn’t win anything. Same judge as Stacey has. Interesting.

A couple tried to sue both James and Stacey and the case was dismissed with prejudice. Stacey had a lawyer, but James represented himself. Good job, buddy!

Yes, Mary did get my card. She even left a message on the cell! I honestly would never know it was her if I didn’t know any better. She sounds great, though, saying she loves me, is doing great, and hopes I am, too. She called collect of course, and when the voicemail picked up it was saying that our cell couldn’t accept collect calls which she should’ve heard. Even so, as much as I loved hearing from her, I let her know we couldn’t accept collect calls, not that we could afford to right now anyway.

I also got a letter from her too, saying she likes this place better than both Naples and Estrella. She says she’s got the option of returning to Naples, but doesn’t think she will cuz now she can shower in private, has a room she can go in and out of, a cool bunkie, cool officers, though no radio. She said everyone knows who she is, but she’s in GP and doing fine.

I checked and she’s been moved 34 miles and is just 104 miles from my folks.

Got my period today which is quite a relief. Not just from water bloating, but hunger, too. I definitely seem to be hungrier before my period.

SATURDAY, APRIL 25, 2009 As for the Italian, I’m 80% through the course with an 85% accuracy rate.

It was absolutely FREEZING in here in the low 50s in the morning. It ended up jumping 30º to 82º, my favorite temp. I like it between 77º and 82º as long as there are fans going and I’m not wearing any sleeves. We didn’t bother to turn the cooler on or even open any windows. This way it won’t get as cold in the morning, though it is to be a bit warmer tomorrow. I just get so sick of these 30-40-degree lo/hi fluctuations! That’s the only thing I miss from Massachusetts; how it would only fluctuate about 15º between night and day.

Other than that I’m bloated, watery as hell, and wishing my period would hurry up and arrive to relieve me of what feels like the entire Sacramento River!

Only a few barks from Jesse’s dogs, and no sign of the renter’s dogs.

I hope Mary got my postcard ok since there’s no way it could be returned to me if there was a problem with it or the address. Better yet I really do hope they get on with the damn trial soon enough so she can finally go home!

FRIDAY, APRIL 24, 2009 Before I get to Lisa, the magic word has continued to work like magic! Ah, but I knew I’d be trading in one problem for another. Actually, it’s an old one that’s returned. The renter’s dogs are running around loose again (I suppose next comes the shooting). When I see them again tomorrow I’ll be sure to call the number Jesse gave us so they can hopefully rack up enough complaints to lose them. Typical renters! Typical fucking renters. They do what they’re supposed to do for a while (with much effort on your part) then say “fuck it.” Always gotta keep on re-applying complaints cuz they only do so good for so long.

I almost didn’t see them. They were running towards me as I was standing out on the deck. Then I turned my head and that’s when I spotted them approaching the car and yelled at them. Dogs don’t typically sneak up like cats do, so I’m guessing they didn’t see me either. One doubled back real fast and disappeared down in the ditch, but the other was more reluctant to leave so fast.

Now I gotta watch my ass when running out there, although it should be getting too hot for outdoor running. Not this morning, though. This morning was beautiful! It was cool and breezy, perfect for running. The land is ablaze with wildflowers too, like yellow daisies and bluebells. It rained steadily in the late afternoon.

I heard the dirt bike for a while. There’s always gotta be something! But it sure beats hours of barking I don’t know how to stop. I just know it’s important to call the pound on these dogs. If I don’t they’ll stir Jesse’s dogs up more and more, and then I’d have to worry about them jumping me or barking right outside the window when I’m asleep. The owner obviously isn’t going to fix the problem, so it’s up to me and whoever else is bothered by them to do something about it. I only saw 2 of the 3 so far.

I got up to pee at 5:30 and the dogs were going crazy, but because I wasn’t ready to get up yet, I didn’t do anything about it. I just hope I can when I’m up during the hours they’re at their craziest.

I posted my ‘before’ and ‘now’ weight pics on Kiwi.

So Lisa’s in Groton and has searched for me on My Life, a site that sends me an alert when someone’s looking for me. There’s also a 29-year-old female in Tennessee who’s looked up my name, but since I don’t know anyone there it probably wasn’t me they were looking for but someone else with the same name.

I don’t know why, but as far as this site’s concerned, I’m still in Arizona and Oregon. LOL

Lisa’s been a member since 2007 and there was a picture of her that was so tiny I couldn’t really make out much. No real facial detail of any kind. She appeared to be in a short black dress with black heels, trying to look all sexy or something.

Anyway, while I’m not surprised she was looking for me, as close as we were, nothing’s changed. Nothing at all. While I may not sit and actively wish bad things upon my family, I wouldn’t exactly cry over anything bad that did happen either. I keep in touch with my folks mostly as a courtesy to them for saving us when we couldn’t access our money when the debit card company screwed up. But even that I try to limit as we don’t always see eye to eye.

I don’t blame Lisa for her mother’s actions and the fact that her mother was a lousy mother who was never ready for kids or able to handle them. She wasn’t the worst mother in the world, but she was still very negative, insensitive, domineering and just downright moody. Tammy always had a problem with jealousy. This means that no matter how good of a singer Lisa may’ve gotten to be, she would always make cracks about it and try to cut her down and discourage her. And not just because she knew the odds were way against her no matter how good she may be. But the whole point is that while I don’t blame Lisa for what others did, I could never resume an aunt/niece relationship with her any more than I could be sisters with Tammy cuz of all the negative history. Sure, they’ll always be my sister and niece. But only in memory. And if Lisa isn’t already aware of this journal, she will find it one day and read this for herself.

My sister’s twisted attraction to abusive men not only allowed her own self to suffer but her children as well. So while the apple may not always fall close to the tree, I hope my nieces will choose life over children. Not just so they can be free to live, learn and experience life, but so they won’t repeat what they grew up with.

Lisa, if you are reading this, your mother allowed Bill, who lied about his cancer either altogether or as to what the extent of it really was since the bastard’s still alive, to abuse you. Then since I wasn’t there to beat the shit out of him for it, I let him know just what I’d like to do to him via mail/phone. What did mommy dearest do? Oh, she just gave him our address so he could sic the pigs on me. That’s how much she appreciated my sticking up for her. Your mother may not be responsible for what our old neighbors did by using race and their cop friend to legally fucked me over after Tom lodged a city complaint against them for noise and vandalism, but her actions, which led these assholes to where we’d moved to so they could torment us there too, cost us half a year’s time together, thousands of dollars, and a world of anguish no therapist or drug could ever cure.

I’m sorry she put you down, I’m sorry she put you in harm’s way. I’m sorry she carried on the so-called family tradition by finding it easier to deal with your problems by having you doped up. I’m sorry she was too weak to address her own problems. I’m sorry Bill ridiculed your weight and helped you to become bulimic even though he’s a hypocritical fat fuck of a pig himself.

I’d still like to kick his ass. I’m still relatively young. I run. I strength-train. I have a temper that can make even his look like a joke. So trust me, there’d be no competition. Same goes for Larry and Ronnie. I can still feel that rage bubbling beneath the surface when I think of them. Oh, what this healthy little runner could do to those aging little monsters these days! I’d even bet money I don’t have on it. But this is why, though. This is why I couldn’t have anything to do with anyone even remotely connected to them other than my folks. It would only bring back all that anger and all those unwanted memories. Remembering the so-called “good times” doesn’t always cut it, though there are no good times to be remembered when it comes to Bill and Ronnie. Nonetheless, I swore back in the late 90s that I would never again let myself be sucked up by the family drama and I’m going to keep my word, too!

I’m just glad the kids are all adults now so they can leave when Tammy wants to get off on Mark’s abuse all so she can have an excuse to be the melodramatic drama queen she’s always loved to be in order to satiate those cravings for attention.

I can see why it would be hard for anyone who comes from a stable, close family to even comprehend where I’m coming from, but that’s ok. I understand. That’s all that matters. I don’t believe in forgiveness and it’s for a very good reason. Besides, it’s kind of hard to forgive someone who doesn’t even believe they did anything wrong. That’d be like me trying to hand a bleeding person a band-aid for a cut all the while they’re glancing over themselves going, “What cut? Where? Where am I cut?” Tammy got all defensive and went right into denial when I told her my reasons for not wanting anything to do with her when she found me on Facebook. Bill couldn’t have gotten our address from anyone else, but it’s true that she may not have known about the neighbors if the letter I sent her from Oregon a few years ago didn’t get to her. That would depend on whether she moved or not. Either way, it doesn’t change anything. If it hadn’t been for her, the warrant for my arrest we didn’t even know existed till the pigs came out to find out what the hell she was up to, would’ve eventually expired. I STILL can’t believe she gave Bill our address after we left Phoenix. That’d be like me shooting someone who went to beat up someone who’d just raped me!

THURSDAY, APRIL 23, 2009 I’m now 67% through Italian 102 with a score of 86%.

Yesterday was laid-back yet productive. I only had to quiet the dogs a few times.

My incense has been shipped. I should get it early next week. Hope my Kiwi CD is at the mail place when Tom checks it tomorrow. I know that special toothpaste oughta be there.

Guess I’ll just have to make this short and sweet as I can’t really think of anything else to say. Off to sleep now!

Later…

I’m now 74% through the course, still with a score of 86%. Just 4 more lessons, then it’s on to Italian 201.

The toothpaste did come today, but no CD yet. I’ve sent a note to Bianca asking if there have been any delays in sending out prizes. I sometimes wonder if the people at the UPS store aren’t stealing our mail. It’d be so easy. They’re not trained postal employees who receive any kind of real supervision. They’re just anyone, cuz anyone can work there. We may get a PO Box. The less our mail has to change hands, the better. They cost less and they’d forward our mail every time we moved. The only problem with them is that they don’t accept UPS or FedEx deliveries. But if I’m not winning or shopping like I used to, does it really matter?

Anyway, I’m hoping the toothpaste helps rebuild my teeth and that I get my incense without any problems.

In case I forgot to mention it, Tom took my progress pictures a few days ago now that I’ve lost 20 pounds. I emailed copies to Jessie, but haven’t heard from her. Seems I rarely do anyway. I made sure to wear the same thing I did in the first set of pics and stand in a similar manner, too. Only difference is Tom shot them landscape this time around instead of portrait. Oh well.

There was even less barking today. I could hear voices when I stepped outside a couple of times, but couldn’t tell where they were coming from. No one was at Jesse’s as far as Tom could tell, but the fact that I could make out a couple of words makes me think it had to have come from his place. Everyone else on this side of the place is supposedly over 400’ away, so it’s hard to believe I could make out words at that distance, but who knows?

I wish I had wins to write about and other cool stuff, but nope. This is it. I guess I’ve turned into a real bore, but at least things aren’t going badly for us!

WEDNESDAY, APRIL 22, 2009 I feel the best I’ve felt in months! Although I have to apply the magic word 4 or 5 times throughout the day when they bark, I just yell up, “Be quiet!” And they stop instantly. This really takes a lot of stress off me. Now I can go back to doing things that require a quiet background in which to concentrate anytime I want to and not just at night. I hated having to have fans, sound machines, and air cleaners running when I didn’t always need or want them on. Wish Jesse had told me the magic word back in November! But better later than never.

I got out to run a little later than last time so 15 minutes later the sun jumped over the mountain and started warming me up a bit too much. So between that and the slime green caterpillars coming down on webs from some of the trees that hang over my running path, I bailed on indoors.

I am now wearing a dress that Tom and I both agree is just about wearable, but still slightly snug, which I never thought I’d be able to wear again. It’s one of those clingy dresses that are form-fitting. The type my parents might label as whorish. But I like it and that’s what counts! It’s got pink and purple daisies against a white background with silver glitter accents.

I can’t think of anything else to say right now. Just doing my usual – working out, cleaning, writing, listening to music, studying, and just enjoying a peaceful day in the country!

MONDAY, APRIL 20, 2009 Jesse came down to work on the cooler yesterday with the dogs and we actually had a little fun. For the last two days, our cooler wasn’t working properly. Tom thought it would work itself out (that’s how optimistic he is), but when I saw that it was 82º in here when it was on high and it was only 81º outside, I knew we needed to call Jesse. It’s his piece of shit anyway, so he should be the one to deal with it. So right after we heard Jesse return on the motorcycle, he called him.

He came down in the truck with the dogs in back. He then got on the roof and saw all the junk that had gotten into it which was why not all the pads were able to get water pumped to them.

When he got down I asked if the puppies had been born yet and he said they would be at the end of this month. The dogs look similar. For some reason, I had thought one was black and the other brown. But the female, which has shorter hair and is part Australian shepherd, part border collie, is mostly black with white markings and weird-colored eyes. The male, which is almost twice as big, has longer fur and brown eyes. Their names are Brandy and Whiskey (someone likes to drink).

I commented on how they’re wonderful when he’s here and naughty when he’s gone, and he said that while there’s only so much he can do, feel free to go on up there and yell at them and throw sticks and rocks at them. Well, I certainly wouldn’t want to do that, but tomorrow when he goes back to work I’ll go out and yell out the word “quiet,” which he assures me they do understand.

Jesse then took off to get his kid for a few hours like he usually does when he’s not working, then returned with him and the dogs. The kid’s adorable with freckles and a curly mop of hair.

So Jesse went up with his shop vac and vacuumed out the crap and that’s when the boy got out of the truck and we chatted with him and I patted the dogs. They’re very affectionate. Whiskey slobbered kisses all over me.

I was glad to hear Jesse say that his brother has 4 dogs which he thinks is too many. Good! Now I won’t have to worry about him starting a collection up there. I was also surprised and kind of glad to learn that you do have to get rid of your dogs if you get at least 4 complaints. This came up when I said I was glad the renters moved. He said he doesn’t know for sure that they moved, but that they might’ve started tying them up so they don’t lose them, which was when he mentioned that you can lose them with 4 complaints. I thought that he could get a million complaints against his own dogs and all he’d have to do is say, “But there’s nothing I can do about it when I’m out, and I work 12 hours a day, too long to keep a dog indoors.”

So a part of me wishes he’d get a few more complaints to go with the one I know he’s already got, but if going out and yelling, “Quiet Brandy, quiet Whiskey” will do the trick, so be it.

I joked about us trading houses and he laughed and said, “Yeah, especially with how often I’m gone.”

It kinda does suck to know that we’re two people crammed into 500 square feet, yet he’s just one person in more than twice this amount of space.

He said he’s got to clean out his own cooler too, so he’s going to pick up pumps and pads in case one of us needs them. He’s also going to aim for either after work or the weekend to bulldoze the back of the lot. He’s been saying that a while now, so I’ve got to see it to believe it.

Earlier in the morning, at around 8:00, I didn’t want to wait another hour or two for Tom to get up so I could run indoors. Therefore I ran outdoors instead. It was gorgeous out! Just smelling that fresh mountain air is really invigorating.

Between 6:00 - 6:30 is when he goes to bring his kid home and I knew they’d bark at that time. When they did I stepped outside and said, “Quiet,” loudly and sternly and it worked! I wish I had known the magic word months ago and that it keeps on silencing them this fast!

SUNDAY, APRIL 19, 2009 OMG, I did it! I lost 20 pounds! I’m 127 pounds! I really, really did it!!! That’s all I’ll say for now cuz I’m so excited and busy doing other things.

Later…

So now I have light golden brown hair to go with my slowly but surely shrinking waistline. It looks nice too, in browns and reds as opposed to black. The loss of the 20th pound actually came faster than expected. I didn’t expect to hit it till the first week of next month, so it was quite a surprise when I woke up and found I was already there! I had put myself at 120 by the end of the year based on my speed so far, and around 100 for the fall of next year, but maybe I’ll get there sooner.

Shopping was fun, though it wasn’t without a bit of confusion and a little scare. The confusion came when I took two pink sleeveless dresses into the fitting room to try on, one small, the other medium. I tried the small one first. It was slightly snug, but I wanted something with “room to shrink in” since I’m bound to lose more weight, even though I have my moments when I think I’ve stopped. I decided to go with the small and not bother trying on the medium. But when I went to leave I saw that the one I had tried on (because I hadn’t undone the belt on the other one) was on the hanger marked ‘medium’ and so I was surprised that a medium would be tight on me. Mediums should now be either just right or too big on me depending on the cut. But then I realized that while I only tried one dress on, I did take them both off their hangers. And put the small dress on the medium hanger!

I got 5 small colognes – New Musk, Primo, A Little Sexy, You Sexy Thang and Cotton Candy.

I got 4 lip balms – Nesquik chocolate, Jelly Belly coconut, bubble gum and Reese’s. They’re a little dry compared to the Bonne Bell’s I usually get, but it’s nice to have fun flavors every so often that are different.

I also got a package of white ankle socks, two white sports bras, and a light blue tank top with spaghetti straps. It has a neon orange and green palm tree design with “California” written below it. It’s also a size small. Yes, I am officially in the small zone now! Woo-hoo!

Lastly, besides the hair dye, I got a candy bar, bedding for the rats, and Trident gum that actually helps my teeth like it claims to. It says it strengthens teeth. I had stopped chewing gum because it hurt my teeth, then I received a sample pack of Trident Xtra Care in the mail. Amazingly enough, I can now chew on both sides of my mouth, even with the huge cavity I have in one of my back-bottom molars.

So anyway, as we were about to check out of Kmart and I handed the cashier the GCs I won, they wouldn’t scan at first and she asked if they’d been used before. I was worried I’d have to put everything back! But her supervisor helped her and all was fine.

I just lit my last stick of incense (Magnolia), but I have a new wholesale order on the way! Incense is the one guilty pleasure I simply cannot live without. I have 100-packs coming of Autumn Lodge, Birthday Cake, Blueberry Cheesecake, Blueberry Pie, Jasmine Vanilla, Lady Chocolate, Loganberry, Peanut Butter Cups, Pomegranate, General Store, Sugar Cane, Vermont Maple Syrup, Warm Apple Crisp and Patchouli.

I also donated a buck to MD and hope that people will leave us donations if we ever have a website of our own.

I was also worried the cooler was broken, but it looks like it’s working itself out. It just takes a little time for the water flowing through the tubes to break down the calcium build-up.

Last night I woke up hot after barely an hour of sleep. Tom cut the cooler off too soon. Then an hour after I fell back asleep, I had to play nose. Yeah, my nose was all stuffed up and so I had to deal with that and take a Benadryl to get back to sleep comfortably enough after Tom chatted with me and rubbed my back. I was really fired up and frustrated last night. Not just with waking up sweating, but we need a house to live in, you know?! We need a real, genuine, honest-to-God house! Not some fucking flimsy old box with a funky cooling system. I miss having a normal cooling system that’s vented to all the rooms and that has a thermostat like the heater does.

So I was just frustrated over the reality that at least I see. Tom doesn’t see it, but I do. I hope I’m seeing wrong, but I still don’t think we’ll ever have our own home. A real home.

There was the other ongoing issue, too. The anger I still feel to this day over those who’ve wronged me and have gotten away with it. I feel like God or something up there has protected them and that they’re no doubt living it up somewhere, but Tom assures me that just because I don’t see them suffer doesn’t mean they aren’t. He reminded me that Tammy’s always been a miserable person and no doubt still is, but she’s not exactly who I had in mind. I’m not talking about her or any other family members, I’m talking about the fucking freeloaders that victimized me for years, both legally and not. I may not be able to ever forgive Tammy or Larry, but I can’t say I’d like to see them suffer either. In their case, I just don’t care. Yet despite all the venting, both in my journal and verbally, I don’t think anything can ever get me over what the other subhuman pieces of shit have done. Some things you simply don’t move on from. I could see a million therapists and pop a million pills till the day I died, but I will never forgive them, and I sure as hell won’t ever forget!

Oh, just to have 5 minutes with them! All of them. Just 5 minutes of alone time! That would be more therapeutic than anything else ever could be.

Tom pointed out that everyone gets burned in life, but this was rather extreme. Not that he disagrees or feels I’m wrong for the way I feel. He does understand. They victimized him too; he just didn’t get thrown in jail. But I did, and I know that just like with any rape victim or victim of some other violent act, or a victim that’s been scammed really bad, I’m going to have spells throughout my life where I remember my tormenters and what they did and just simmer with a rage I hope most people can never understand firsthand.

Other than yesterday’s emotions and sweaty wake-up call, it’s been a fun day. Quiet too, the last two days, but starting tomorrow the peace will be gone. My schedule sucks right now. I’ll be waking up right when the worst of the barking starts. All I can do is just hope they shut up by 8:00 or 9:00 like they usually do. The heat does seem to put a lid on them, and it’s going to be hot for a while.

Tom researched Mary’s case, and if Monster isn’t found incompetent like he was in 2005 (I wasn’t aware of this), the trial begins June 9th.

SATURDAY, APRIL 18, 2009 The check came yesterday so Tom got the groceries which he saved $10 on thanks to the Kimberly-Clark coupons I won. This way we got a free giant pack of toilet paper and a 3-pack of Kleenex tissues. I also won an $80 men’s hoodie which encouraged me to return to sweeping. Hey, it’s in my blood. I was meant to sweep and I was meant to win. I just haven’t been winning nearly as much with the economy being so shitty. Anyway, it’s a nice hoodie, although it should be a while before he wears it with the weather warming up. We killed the pilot to the heater so that should delay our next propane delivery.

Tom couldn’t get the cooler working yesterday, but he says it’s just a quick and simple fix. I hope we don’t have to call Jesse down, though we will if it’s going to cost anything. It’s his piece of shit, not ours. I’ll just have to stay inside so I don’t do anything I’ll regret. Seriously, I just want to grab him by the neck and squeeze some consideration into the rude little prick! Yeah, talk about getting all fired up for nothing yesterday morning! The dogs started at their earliest ever which was 5:00. Makes me wonder if he’s going to start leaving for work at 4:00 or even 3:00! So they started up at 5:00 and it was definitely softer. This went on for about an hour, and I was just about to be like OMG, he moved them to the back of the house! Someone actually gave a shit!

From behind the house, it’s certainly much more tolerable, but then the barking got louder and I stepped outside and could clearly see them in front. So the joke was on me for two more hours. So much for thinking he cared enough to move them! Then I felt myself begin to simmer with rage. The kind that made me just want to beat the shit out of him or anyone else that may deserve it. I’m sick of living with people that are just going to do what they’re going to do no matter what and to hell with anyone who has to deal with it! But would a senior community really be any better if we could ever get into one? Again, despite the fact that barking is a big problem in the West with the way most people don’t allow their dogs indoors, this is a curse that’s specifically aimed at me, designed to be extreme no matter where I go. So if we were suddenly in a senior community that normally didn’t leave dogs unattended and allowed to bark, would we end up with that one fluke next to us who did 3-6 months after moving in? It wouldn’t surprise me if we did.

Other than the continual frustration of Jesse’s dogs and no one hiring around here, happiness is knowing we have a full refrigerator! And knowing that tomorrow morning we’re going to take the $50 K-Mart CG I won and do some fun shopping for a change. It’s been a long time since we’ve been able to do anything like that.

We ordered that special toothpaste that’s supposed to “fill in the holes,” though we didn’t order it from Katie’s father’s site. I won’t tell her that, but we ordered it elsewhere because it was much cheaper. I hope it helps! I’m sick of these miserable cavities.

There were helicopters buzzing around here yesterday too, but they weren’t working on this tower. I think they were over at the next tower with is just beyond the summit.

Although Twitter’s not as much fun as Kiwi and MD since you only have 140 characters per tweet, I now have 2 followers. I guess they’re learning Italian, too. Speaking of which, I oughta get on with flashcards before it gets noisy.

FRIDAY, APRIL 17, 2009 The dogs have been quieter, though it does appear that yes, Jesse is still working. I hope it stays this way and that they don’t go back to barking for hours at a time!

The flying pigs turned out to be the flying power company. Yeah, we saw the same helicopter yesterday and the day before dropping off and picking up both people and objects from the tower up on the summit. I don’t mind this kind of noise when I’m awake, but I hope they finish up by the time I’m on nights again.

I’m still studying flashcards. I’ve found that it’s more challenging if I see them in English first and then translate them to Italian, whereas when I see them in Italian first, I automatically know what it means.

I’m a pitiful excuse for a sweeper! I won a T-shirt. Winning what we don’t need is almost as bad as not winning at all! What a pisser. Like we need another T-shirt! That’s okay, I’ve officially quit sweeping today and not just because I don’t win much anymore, but because the thought of changing passcards, account info, and shit like that all over again because we can’t keep the same address for more than 5 minutes makes me want to scream. Yeah, the UPS Store we use is closing. They offered us two free additional months at another place in town, but we’ll probably save $100 and just start getting our mail delivered here.

Finally heard from Mary, who’s been moved from Naples to Fort Myers where Monster is. She said she wishes she could tell me what’s going on, but her lawyer ordered her not to. Also, she can only receive postcards there which sucks, but I had a few laying around and so I’m sending one of those today. She didn’t at least tell me if she was in PC or GC and if she liked it better or worse there. Being only able to send postcards sucks, but hopefully she won’t be there long enough for it to matter and this is finally the beginning of the end!

I signed up for Twitter. Celebs are big on it, too. I don’t know why it says I’m following Mandy Moore & Two in the Shirt cuz I’m not. Anyway, nothing for Gloria or Farrah, but Kate, Linda and Jaclyn are there. Kate, I’m sure of cuz it lists the series she’s starred in, but I’m not sure if it’s the real Linda and Jackie. I’m guessing it is cuz they have no updates, though not all celebs have no updates. Mandy has over 100K. Why would some celebs have no updates? Maybe just to see how many followers they get? Well, Kate only has 7, counting me. What a trip it would be if she checked out my journals and followed back. I don’t think she will, though, as she’s not following anyone and neither are Linda and Jackie. If it’s really Kate, I’m a little surprised at the spelling errors she made. She always seemed so smart to me, but just cuz you’re not the greatest speller doesn’t mean you can’t be smart otherwise.

WEDNESDAY, APRIL 15, 2009 For some reason, I have been sooo cold! Tomorrow should be our last cold day, then the poor-assed bums here can kill the pilot on their heater and save on propane. Yeah, get ready folks, I’m about to hit you with another poverty rant!

It turns out we owe just $70 to the state, but a whopping $654 to our corrupt government thanks to the 9K I won in early ’08. (I still wonder why we never got a tax form for the ’07 cruise I also won). Anyway, I feel like I’m being punished for winning! Who the fuck should have to “pay” to win?! This is so fucked up and unfair, like demanding payment from someone you’re giving a gift to or something like that. And this supposedly comes after a “break.” I guess it’s normally $80 for every grand which they dropped to $60, but still – $654 in taxes, nearly $600 to get the pawned Mac and TV back – why not make it 6 grand?

If God didn’t have to go and curse me with this sleep disorder so I couldn’t work, I could’ve gone out right along with Tom and got a job wherever just as soon as they started hiring again. Even if we both made just $10 an hour, that’d be like him making $20 an hour alone! I totally resent Him for doing this to me! And as long as I’m never allowed the luxury of insurance, I can’t get my condition diagnosed in a sleep clinic so I can at least try to get my benefits reinstated.

I’m just sick of having to play poor-assed bums here! I’m sick of never having enough money for things we need and want, especially those that we need.

It seems that the only good winning the money did was to get us out of the motel. That in itself is a huge thing, but it makes me afraid to sweep anymore, not that I’ve been winning anything good anyway. Tom said a big win would be great now cuz then we could pay off what we owe. But then we’d have to pay taxes on that, I pointed out, though he said that the more I win, the more we make since you never pay more than the prize. Well, if things keep going the way they have been, I’m never going to win big again either way.

I swear the only time we didn’t have any money problems was the last couple of years in Oregon, and we’ve been married for almost 15 years. We did make close to 40K for several years down in Arizona, but it all went to the house. What a total fucking waste too, to have made that much money just to sink it all into a house we would ultimately lose just 5 years later.

The question is, why us? If things are supposed to happen for a reason, then why are we one of God’s designated little bums destined to struggle no matter how hard we work and try to get ahead? Why were we chosen to suffer financially? What am I supposed to do? Be a good little bum and hope we’re well rewarded in the afterlife or something?

People would probably say that I should be grateful for the things we do have, and I am. But having a nice computer doesn’t get my teeth fixed. Having someone else’s bummy old trailer doesn’t get us our own home. And being on unemployment sure as hell doesn’t buy us any security.

Sure, I’m blessed as hell to have a husband who loves me unconditionally. And also to have my only health problems be my teeth and ingrown toenail since even my ear and allergies have been better. But what about the new mattress we need so I can stop waking up with a backache? When can I stop wearing the same clothes year after year? When can my husband get a backup vehicle so we’re not stranded and possibly doomed if the main one craps out on us? He does all our car work, but what if it broke in such a way right now that it cost hundreds or even thousands to fix? Then what? So you see? We’re just as cursed as we are blessed. Maybe even more so.

I try to tell myself that living poorly won’t kill us and to quit letting it get to me or else I’m going to have a miserable life since things are never going to change. There’s only so much we can do to change it anyway. We’re poor, we’ve mostly always been poor, and we’ll mostly always be poor. It’s just who we were meant to be in this life. So crying about it won’t change things. But it’s not that easy. It frustrates the hell out of me more and more with time that instead of becoming easier to live with as time goes on, I only get more pissed off about it. The thought of never being able to own our own home and always having to scrape pennies is heartbreaking. And it infuriates the hell out of me even more! What the fuck did we do to deserve this?!

But you know good old optimistic Tom here. I’ll get a job soon enough, he says, and we’ll be ok. It won’t take forever to pay the taxes off, and no, we haven’t lost the Mac and TV. And hey, all it takes is a regular job and we can make a down payment on a house in a senior community in a few years.

The dogs went off at 5:50 yesterday and I was trying to concentrate on what I was doing and didn’t want to hear it, so I kicked the sound machine on. But then I was surprised by not hearing any barking when I went out to pee 15 minutes later, then into the kitchen a while after that. Tom said he saw a strange white pickup there, so I’m thinking that yeah, he may still be working, but someone’s obviously staying with him for the dogs not to have barked for hours. Maybe she’s had her puppies. I don’t think he went out and hired a dog sitter, as the guy would never give a damn about the peace of those around him enough to do so, but he’s had someone up there for some unrelated reason unless it’s really him.

I still wish someone would complain about the barking when it gets bad again – and it will – but all he has to do is say, “There’s nothing I can do about it. I work 12-hour days, too long to keep a dog indoors, so there’s nothing I can do.” No judge is going to tell him to cut his hours or get rid of the dogs, so I’m hoping that if worse comes to worst we can at least rent a place in a senior community in a few years. I still can’t believe barking would be an issue there, cursed with it or not.

The dogs may’ve been quieter the last few days, but what’s with all the helicopter activity lately? It’s never been like this before. Today there was a helicopter flying back and forth, sometimes hovering, and it was right as I was trying to sleep. We thought it may’ve been a police helicopter looking for someone. Well, if they were, then whatever the person did must’ve been pretty big. Unless they’re like Arizona where they make mountains out of molehills, it must’ve been pretty heavy-duty. I just hope those flying pigs don’t make a habit of this! Or whoever else it may be. Flying overhead is one thing, but lately they’ve been flying low and hovering at times and it’s tremendously loud.

I’m reviewing flashcards and I’m finding that it helps a lot more than I thought it would. It’s still more fun than frustrating to learn languages! At least for me, it is.

When I got up and weighed in today, I hit a new low, but not a new pound. My current low had been 128.8 and now it’s 128.6. I think I may’ve already slammed that 20-pound marker. According to what I wrote a year and 3 days ago when we first moved in here and unpacked the old scale, I was 138 pounds. Then when we went out and got the new one that guarantees its accuracy, it said I was really 10 pounds heavier. But when I officially started the diet I was 147 pounds, so 127 is when I’ll count it as a 20-pound loss. It’s probably really close to 25 pounds, though. I could’ve easily gotten into the low 150s in those final days at the motel.

MONDAY, APRIL 13, 2009 I managed to get 54% through, but my score dropped to 87%. Again, there are too many ways to say the same or similar things and it’s hard to always know what goes where when forming sentences. The grammar really, really sucks!

Tom said it was windy and quiet today. Yeah, I noticed the quiet part of it till I crashed at around 9am. Obviously, Jesse’s out of work again, which is fine with me. I looked up there at 5:15, saw a light on, and figured he was on his way out soon and that it’d be a wild morning. Yet I never heard a sound when I went to pee at 5:45, then again at 6:30, and then for the last time right before 8:00.

Tom, Jasmine and Alison have a point in saying I can’t judge weight on a day-to-day basis and that it’s an overall balance of diet and exercise. I had around 300 more calories yesterday, though today I woke up half a pound less. It just frustrates me at times during days when I feel like all my hunger and hard work are going to waste.

I had a series of weird dreams all throughout the day, waking up every hour or two for no apparent reason. I’d fall right back asleep, but why do I wake up so often lately?

In one dream I was lost in this huge building. Every time I’d step into another room, shut the door behind me and then turn around to leave, the door wouldn’t open and I’d realize I had stepped into an elevator and not a small room as I would feel movement a second later.

In another dream, Tom was saying he wanted to knock me up by the end of February so we’d have someone to look out for us when we were old, and I tried to convince him it was now April, and that there are no guarantees that one’s kids will be there for them in the end. I wasn’t worried, though, as I knew he liked cumless sex too much to impose any risk, and that age would make it harder to cum either way. I also knew it wasn’t to be anyway no matter how many doctors said I was just fine in the good old reproductive department.

Jesse got a helicopter in another dream. Not at all something that made me happy! Thank God he can’t sic that much on us!

The last dream I remember is Tom coming home in a nice new pickup or SUV that was of a decent size. In the dream, he could drive all the way around the shed and park facing the place. I stepped outside and he said, “I’m not coming in. I’m going to water now.” When I asked why he was hosing the area down he said some crazy thing about it helping to make it rain more evenly when it finally did rain.

My hair is now getting long enough to hold a knot, but I don’t think I’m going to cut it just yet. I’m still not sure what I want to do with it.

No sound of the wall creature tonight. For the last few nights, I’ve been hearing movement that sounds like it’s been coming from the front bedroom wall. The movements sound a bit loud for mice, though I don’t know what else could fit in these thin walls. Raccoons and skunks certainly couldn’t be in there unless the sound is really coming from somewhere underneath.

SUNDAY, APRIL 12, 2009 Wow, it seems I have an amazing ability here. That is the ability to lose just two-tenths of a pound in my sleep! Seriously, I woke up and saw that and was like WTF?! How could I have run two miles yesterday and had 1000 calories or less just to have a metabolism so slow that I would lose so little in my sleep? I don’t expect to lose 2-3 pounds overnight like I did when I was younger, but 1-2 pounds is still pretty reasonable, isn’t it?

Tom reminded me that it just takes time to lose weight. Most people who lose it seem to lose 1-2 pounds a week, but not me. I never could lose it faster than one pound every 10-30 days. I seem to spend two weeks hitting a new low, then another two getting it to stick.

It’s going so slow that I’m not sure I’m going to lose anymore. I always believed, unlike Tom, that those who are fat either want to be deep down on a subconscious level or just don’t mind, not that there’s anything wrong with that. Hey, to each their own! Tom, however, thinks the vast majority of those who are fat want to be thin, but they just can’t figure out a way to go about getting there because dieting is so hard. It’s really hard, alright, that’s for sure! Lots of hunger. But maybe Tom has a point to a degree. Maybe this is all I can lose and there’s nothing I can do about it short of starving. How I wish I could puke up at least one of my main meals!

Jesse apparently left on the motorcycle either before we got up or while Tom was out. Twice he heard about 10 barks. Then I got up at 4:00 not knowing Jesse was out. All was peaceful till around 7:00, then they went off for a few minutes and that’s when I knew he was out. And no, they haven’t been moved at all. Should I be surprised? Around 7:20 Jesse returned on the motorcycle so that’s when we knew he had been out on the motorcycle after all. I figured as much now that the weather’s cleared up.

Let’s see, it’s coming up on 9:30, so I should have 8 hours of peace before all hell breaks loose. Man, is it going to be a wild week! With the weather cleared up and me being up later in the mornings, I’m sure our lovely God will be sure to reign down all kinds of barking on me. Or whatever’s been so determined to sic this dog curse on me year after year. I have the sound machine on, but you can still hear it in places like the bathroom and kitchen. Even one end of the living room you can kind of hear it in cuz the air cleaner out there isn’t very loud.

I did manage to get onto LiveMocha last night around 2am and complete a couple of lessons. I feel like I’m finally improving, although my grammar is still weak. I’m now 47% through the course, still holding a score of 89%.

Here’s a little poem that came to me that I had to write down while it was fresh in my mind. Yeah, you can tell I’m a runner.

Catch Me If You Can

I whiz through the air without the slightest care. Feet pounding, heart pounding, it really is astounding.

Catch me if you can as I breeze through the hills and trees. 1 mile, 2 miles, all the while ignoring the pain in my knees.

Follow if you must, though I’m sure I’d leave you in the dust. 5 miles an hour, 6 miles an hour, it’s almost time for my shower.

Running, running, running, it feels so wild and free. The music is all I can hear as I move to its beat.

I begin to sweat, but I have another mile to go yet. I’m moving so fast everything is a blur, ah, but the calories I’ve burned!

Running with the wind, warm breeze against my skin. Moving right along without breaking my speed, I wonder if you can catch me?

Can you catch me? I’ve darted right past you, so catch me if you can!

SATURDAY, APRIL 11, 2009 Why do they always have to come so fast? The story ideas. They usually come to me in my dreams and at a time when I already have another story going that I’m working on. Still, I hate to not run and get any new ideas started when it’s fresh in my mind even though I haven’t yet done that in this case as I’ve been busy with other things.

The language site is bogged down again and pissing me off. Tom checked it out and we both agree their servers just can’t accommodate all the traffic, and being the weekend and all, that’s probably why it’s so bad now. I didn’t know I had all these achievements there either. I was English Teacher of the Week a few times, then I was Italian Student of the Week a few times as well.

Tom heard not one single bark all day. Either Jesse was home or he took off with them in the truck. If he’s not going to give us peace during the weekdays, I sure hope we can at least count on weekends and nights being peaceful, although I did hear a few 2am barks last night. Still, I can live with a few scattered barks. It’s the barking fits that last several minutes or hours I can do without.

Looks like I won’t need to bother with Rhapsody Unlimited which costs $15 a month. We set up a free account with both our emails and this way each account gets 25 plays a month. Plenty for gathering new songs or replacing bad copies.

Still nothing from Mary. My guess is that the case got delayed for the millionth time and she’s just been too bummed out to write. I hope she’ll write soon enough, though, and let me know what the hell’s going on.

FRIDAY, APRIL 10, 2009 What a pisser! This is the second time in less than a month that the LiveMocha has been so slow that it affects both sight and sound. Not a cool thing at all for someone who can only get enough peace to study at night. Anyway, I’m now 34% through Italian 102 with a score of 89%.

Last night the dogs started to bark and just when I was wondering if I was going to be compensated for not having to hear it during the daytime, they stopped. Hope they woke Jesse up, though!

Although there were a few more than I’d like, today’s barking sprees were mild. I think, however, that as soon as the weather clears up and I’m up during the daytime, they’ll go right back to barking excessively. Just one more month, though, then we’ll get the automatic debarker.

Puerco has a thing for jumping out of the tube and onto the Coke can box that I gave him to play with which he eventually managed to crush, and an acute fondness for Double Fudge Jelly Bellies. Yeah, I decided to get another bag of those, since I figured out that it was those parmesan breadsticks that messed up my stomach a while back and not the Jelly Bellies. Then it’s back to the hardcore dieting and lots of hunger!

As for what dreams I remember, let’s see… I was bragging to the Drama Queen about how I’ve gone from a 38C to a 34C. Then I was flirting with some woman while trying to get another one to take “no” for an answer.

THURSDAY, APRIL 9, 2009 The last two days have been virtually barkless partly due to the cold and rain, but no doubt mostly due to my being on nights. You know that as soon as I’m up all day or most of it, they’ll be right back to their shit.

This cold is not what I think of when I think of California in April!

I’m currently 27% through Italian 102 with an 89% accuracy rate. I’m starting to put sentences together. The grammar’s still tough, but I’ve decided that if all I ever do is just get to know the vocabulary and be able to understand what I read/hear, and get my point across when speaking, poor grammar or not, that’ll be enough for me since I’d never use any other language like I use Spanish. I don’t listen to Italian songs, TV, or read many Italian web pages. I don’t know anyone I may need to converse with in Italian either, so just getting pretty damn familiar with the language will be enough for me. I am doing this mostly for fun, after all, though it’d certainly help if we ever made it to Italy which is looking more and more unlikely. Tom, however, says it’ll get better in time, reminding me that I didn’t learn Spanish grammar in just a month.

My upper arms measured a whole foot around! And so I decided to do something about that too, and now they’re shrinking. I sit on the floor with my back towards our platform bed, reach back and grip the edge of the platform, then lift myself up and down while keeping my legs outstretched in front of me.

I didn’t think losing weight would be this exciting to me since I’ve lost weight before and have actually spent most of my life on the thin side, yet I can feel my eyes sting with tears of exhilaration at knowing that WebMD’s getting ready to tell me I’m healthy within the next few months! Woo-hoo! A healthy weight for my height is 100-125. I’m now 128.

I feel like there’s something else I’m forgetting to say, but can’t think of it. Just that I’m sick of nothing happening. No jobs, no wins, no nothing.

TUESDAY, APRIL 7, 2009 Just a quickie to say that I slept all day so I never heard any barking. Tom said they only barked once that he knows of, but with the air cleaner turned up high, he can’t say they weren’t noisy other times.

I was wrong in assuming the rains wouldn’t be back till September or October cuz it sure did rain today! It’s cold again too, which sucks. The heat hadn’t been coming on till 3am - 5am, but it’ll be on any second and it’s not even 10pm yet.

Let’s see, what else? I dreamt Tom said it would save us $34 each per year if we dumped our free email accounts, and so we set up some other one. I wanted to be crazy65, but since it was taken I chose unique65.

Of course I had to have motel dreams, too. In this one, a woman around my age was checking into the adjacent room with an older woman she referred to as her mother, and the housekeeper left all kinds of cleaning supplies in our bathroom which I had to step around in order to get to the toilet.

Yay, Vermont for legalizing gay marriage! Hope the control freaks don’t come in and take it away.

MONDAY, APRIL 6, 2009 Jesse’s proven to be like most people and has shown us that he doesn’t give a shit about us or anyone else around here. The dogs were going off ever since I got up at 11:00 till around 6:00 which is when he gets in.

Tom said there’s a chance he just may not have had time to set things up so they can be on the other side of the house since this is the first time I brought that up, so they can have shade, shelter and whatever else they need. I think this is highly unlikely. I think just the fact that he’s already been formally complained about once yet is continuing to let them bark uncontrollably says a lot about just what kind of a selfish prick he truly is.

Tom also pointed out that construction is erratic enough so that he may not be gone so long the next time around when there’s a new construction job that may be closer to home. But either way, the fucking things are obviously going to bark whenever he is out, and that will still be enough of the time. If he were out just two hours a day it’d be too much with the way these things bark! And I doubt the heat will quiet them down much either.

I said I wished whoever complained would complain again, but the more I think about it, the more I doubt all the complaints in the world would do any good. First of all, people usually don’t take well to complaints and just end up going out of their way to be even more of a nuisance. Secondly, all he has to do is explain to a judge that due to how long he works, he can’t keep them indoors and so there’s nothing he can do about it. I mean, what could the judge do at that point? Make him get rid of them? I don’t think that could happen in the case of barking as opposed to abuse or neglect.

Sometimes I think the only way to escape the neighbor curse that’s been on me since 1992 is to just throw our shit in storage, buy an old RV like what we had when we went to Oregon, and just live in that. We’d be even more cramped for space, I wouldn’t get much sleep, and I’d have to run outdoors no matter what the weather, but it would be all ours and moveable, too! So whenever bad news came in wherever we were set up like at some park or something, we could just up and move to another park. But old RVs are much more expensive than they were years ago. We’re totally stuck here indefinitely. All we could maybe do was go from bad to worse by getting an apartment. I suppose most would say that the cons to an RV would far outweigh the cons here, which right now is only the barking, but I’m just so fed up with having to listen to this shit everywhere we go!

We switched my laptop, but not the Mac, back to Vista from XP. For some reason, the radio and my MP3s were skipping like old records. So now I’m back in Vista where I updated my Rhapsody account. I don’t have a premium account yet, but if I can find a decent recorder for Vista, I may not bother upgrading.

The language learning site was having tech troubles last night, so I didn’t get very far there. At least I learned the months and the days of the week!

There are probably other things I could mention, but I’m kinda busy right now, so I’ll just say that I hope to sleep as late as I can tomorrow. Less barking to have to deal with that way.

SUNDAY, APRIL 5, 2009 And so today my dad turned 78. Will he make it to the 80s? Yeah, I think he will.

And also today, I woke up at 128 pounds, so that’s now a total of 19 pounds I’ve lost. At the rate I’ve been going, which is in slow motion at an average of one pound per month, I probably won’t hit my goal of 110 till the end of next year.

Today was dead quiet. I mean absolutely dead quiet. Do I think it was a coincidence? Yeah, probably. But tomorrow will tell for sure, assuming Jesse’s working. Because it was so quiet I went ahead with the first lesson in Unit 4’s Italian 102. So I’m 7% through that course with a 98% accuracy. I learned the months today!

Anyway, we’ll both be sleeping when the barking is usually at its worst, but they still bark enough in the afternoons to tell us if he gave enough of a shit enough to do something about them, not by how often or how long they bark, but by where it’s coming from.

I thought he was out with them in the truck all day since he didn’t come down to weed. Yet he must be there cuz I swear I saw movement along the deck up there around 5:00. Like one of the dogs scurrying by or something. It’s strange that he didn’t take off anywhere on the motorcycle, though he could’ve come and gone in the truck with the dogs.

Although Tom would certainly never say this, it’s almost like he’s trying to make me feel guilty for complaining. He’s just been so quiet ever since I called Jesse yesterday. Either way, I’m not at all feeling guilty. One can only put themselves out so much because one may be paranoid or another one may be sensitive. We did it his way and it didn’t do any good. Asking not to have to hear 6-12 hours of barking most days is not much to ask for. I feel my complaint was perfectly reasonable. I can’t make Jesse do anything about it, but I now know that I at least tried. I’m sorry I’m not like Tom who doesn’t mind all the barking since it’s what he grew up with being from the West and all that, but it was tremendously annoying and distracting for me as I’m sure most would agree. Yet it bothers me that he makes me feel, even if it’s not intentional, that Jesse’s feelings are more important than my own, but like I said, we all have our limits and the excessive barking was just way too much for me to continue to just sit back and take it. I had to try something. Chances are the barking will be back soon enough if it doesn’t start all over again tomorrow, but like I said, now we can know we did all we could do, short of getting the automatic debarker. Then the next step will be to decide whether or not to move, if and when we have the money.

I just wish someone else would help me out here and complain as well. Then maybe he’ll either get rid of them, find some other place to keep them when he’s out, or do something.

Tom’s feet are swollen again and hurting. My teeth still hurt too, but not as bad now that I’ve begun killing the gingivitis. My ear has been doing better overall which is nice, but I sure wish we could get out of this rut we’ve been stuck in since November. I just wish something would happen. A job, his program finally working out, a big enough win – anything!

SATURDAY, APRIL 4, 2009 Here’s something hilarious. Tom and I were laughing up a storm playing around with it. It’s a site called Babel Fish that lets you put in a small amount of text and translate it from and to various languages. It’s not perfect, but enough to get the point across. What’s funny about it is the way it screws things up when you revert it back to English.

Now here’s something that’s not at all hilarious. The barking was so bad today that I finally got fed up enough to leave a message on Jesse’s machine, asking that he move the dogs behind the house.

Before I had said this was worse than Oregon. Well, scratch that. This is getting worse than Phoenix, and Phoenix was horrible! They’re not just barking for long periods of time, they’re barking dozens of times a day lately.

Starting from the beginning. I got up right as he was leaving on the motorcycle at 10:00, and dealt with the barking till he came back a couple of hours later only to roar right back out again (I swear the guy is never home anymore!). This was when the barking became a real nightmare and it still is even though it’s after dark.

Again Tom insisted he could hear another dog off in the distance, so I stepped outside to listen and could just ever so faintly make it out. I doubt I’d have noticed it had he not pointed it out, it’s that far away. I didn’t think it was nearly close enough to stir them up, and he insisted that yeah, it was since dogs hear better. They did seem to repeat after it somewhat, but regardless of what’s stirring them up, I’m sick of this shit! Just sick of it! Yet there’s no way we can afford to move, this curse would only follow us, and Tom’s now saying that the debarker will only help to keep them from barking for no reason. Oh, so you mean it’s going to be worthless as long as they have this dog to give them a reason? Gee, that’s a thrilling thing to know! I swear I’ve had such a “bipolar” life the last few days! Bummed out two days ago, uppity yesterday, pissed today. I thought I’d at least have the weekends to look forward to, but the fucking guy’s been gone every single day of the week, all day long. Every fucking day now we have to deal with 6-12 hours of barking!

Okay, the motorcycle just returned just now at 8:30.

I would really be surprised if no one else complained on him. I really would. The fact that he’s already been complained on once is discouraging too, as it shows he hasn’t learned his lesson about being considerate of others, and simply doesn’t give a shit. I wonder who complained on him and if they’re still here. I’m guessing it’s the people behind him. I’m also guessing this may be a part of why he can’t keep tenants here very easily.

I asked Tom if he thinks the dog that’s stirring them up is new or what, and he thinks it’s new. He also said he heard gunfire off in the distance.

At least I’ll have known that once we get the debarker, and I’m only willing to try it cuz it has a money-back guarantee, we’ll have done everything we could possibly do on our part. If the debarker and my messages don’t do any good, then nothing will. Of course, a part of me wishes we’d never said anything and just gone up and killed them, even if he’d only replace them with other dogs. At this point, he’s either going to work with us or tell us to move if it bothers us that much. And soon there’ll be a third dog to have to deal with, and God only knows how many more after that. Either way, I just wish he’d get his ass down here to do the bulldozing so we can at least get that much out of the way. But when you’re never home, how can you find the time?

FRIDAY, APRIL 3, 2009 Today was much better than yesterday for several reasons! The only annoyance was the dogs. Yeah, they went off later than usual, no doubt because I didn’t get up till 10:00. They’re not quite getting the hang of the whistle thing yet, but it’s supposed to take two weeks. They do get it somewhat. I just wish I didn’t have to whistle at them 5 times in two hours! That’s why having the automatic debarker will be so much better. It’ll work for us when we’re not available or in the mood to deal with it ourselves. But we probably won’t be able to get that till May. It’s supposed to condition a dog not to bark continuously, but what about many times a day? A dozen 2-minute barking sprees can be just as annoying and disruptive as a continuous 10-minute barking spree.

Tom still insists there’s another dog further up that stirs them up, but I’ve never heard it. He sometimes says “That’s not them barking right now,” yet it really is. He’s just fooled by the distance. Meaning that when they’re toward the back of the house and the barking isn’t as loud down here, he thinks it’s other dogs, but it’s just further away. A third dog is possible, though, as dogs hear better than people, and every single goddamn person that lives here has a dog except for us.

It’s Friday night (almost) so Jesse will probably be at some bar getting blitzed and so I’ll keep the sound machines on so I don’t have to deal with that, too.

When I logged into Kiwibox today, A girl named Katie said she read my journal and agrees that gingivitis sucks. Then she went on to tell me that her dad owns his own preventive dentistry business and that she was able to take care of all her mouth problems without having to go to the dentist. She said I should check out his website for this special toothpaste and tell him his daughter Katie sent me…she could sure use the boost with him, she added.

So I went and checked the site out along with Tom. Yup, it looks promising. They have a lot of neat stuff, plus you can even make your own toothpaste. If I still need dentures in the long run so be it, but the thought of “regrowing” my teeth back which are riddled with holes from all the cavities I have, seems pretty amazing. I guess it’s based on the same philosophy as in how broken bones heal. Calcium build-up is what fills the holes in. They say that even receded gums can grow back.

In another message, she said she uses the Restore toothpaste a few times a day which we’ll probably get. I told her it’d be a couple of weeks, but that we’d probably get that and a Waterpik too, which they seem pretty big on. For $40 we could get one that hooks to the shower that we could both use. Meanwhile, I went back to an electric toothbrush and will keep using both mouthwashes. The one for fluoride and the one for bacteria.

Yay, Iowa, for being the first Midwestern state to end the legal discrimination of gays so that they too, can marry!

And yay for the rent being paid and having a full fridge! Walmart now allows for money orders up to a grand, so we paid Jesse in full with one money order today and left it in the box. Right now he should be home, close to getting home, or already home and now back out getting tipsy.

Lastly, yay for a couple of small wins and a forgotten 6-pack of Arrowhead spring water. Yeah, Tom said that when he was getting into the car after throwing the groceries in back, he saw that someone had left it on the bottom of a cart so he grabbed it.

The small wins are two $25 Kmart GCs, so we’ll get to go on a little shopping spree soon!

THURSDAY, APRIL 2, 2009 Today turned out to be a shitty day. First, though, Mike said I could spill the beans at the end of the week on something I was doing here. I was one of the ones testing out the points for offers thing they’re starting up. I was awarded most of my points instantly and it was really cool to see my points just jump up in an instant. A few have yet to award me, but they said it can take up to a few weeks. As I told Mike, I hope to see more free offers soon for those of us that are broke. Once we have a little extra money I’m definitely going to sign up for eMusic! Maybe even Netflix, too. It’s something I’ll be looking forward to and will check out regularly.

Ok, so on with my shitty day. Vision problems, ear problems, cavities, gingivitis – what’s next? Cancer? Heart problems? Diabetes?

My gums were actually a little better when I got up. About a week or two ago I noticed a funny feeling in my mouth. It was an overall kind of feeling, like how your mouth feels when you first get up. Tom noticed I had bad breath, though he wrote it off as whatever I was eating. Then I started getting this burning feeling, sort of like you do when you have a cut, all along my lower I-teeth. So like I said yesterday, I started using his mouthwash on top of my own cuz it kills bacteria and germs that mine, which is a fluoride treatment, doesn’t really do. It’s gotten a little better, though, I’m not able to eat as much. Yeah, it makes a great diet. You ought to try it sometime. rolls eyes My gums have clearly receded and I have a nasty case of gingivitis.

I’ve finally decided enough is enough! Yeah, I’d have preferred to wait till he got a job with insurance and then see a dentist, but even if he got a job with insurance today, I’d have to wait 3-6 months for it to kick in and I’m simply out of time. I’m pissed at God for allowing this to happen to me and for ignoring my many, many prayers to just wait and let it hold out till I could get to a dentist. But now I have to go to some scummy free clinic with a bunch of just-as-scummy druggies, welfare bums, and who knows what else, and wait all day with a bunch of wild, screaming kids. I’ll have the iPod, but it still really sucks. It really does. Tom’s going to call there Monday and see what needs to be done to get in. Hopefully, it won’t take months! I swear I’m going to end up pulling them myself if they tell us they’re booked up for months! I don’t know that they necessarily do appointments, though. I would’ve thought they’d do walk-ins. Tom just assured me I won’t have to wait for months. Good, I don’t have months! These teeth have GOT to go and I need dentures. That’s another thing I worry about with free clinics. Do they just pull bad teeth and expect people not to have any teeth to eat with? A liquid diet would get the rest of my weight off nicely, but I’d rather work it off the hard way, thank you. Yet Tom says that free clinics do take care of the needs of those without insurance. I always thought those were for those on welfare or disability, but Tom said it’s for anyone who’s low-income (and two people living on $300 a week is certainly low-income) and who’s uninsured.

Again, I’m pissed at the timing, and so I’m hoping it’ll actually save us money in the long run. All those co-payments would’ve really added up, had I had insurance. It’s just that the doctors would’ve been better and I wouldn’t have had to wait all day long. The dentists I used to see in Arizona got me in practically as soon as I walked in the door.

As anxious as I am to get this shit dealt with once and for all since it’s been a problem now for 5 years and is quickly getting worse, I worry that it will be replaced with something new. I swear it always works that way for me. Taking care of one problem means going right into another one.

In the meantime, the check wasn’t at the mail place today, and once again, I know it’s not unusual for it to be a day late, but until the rent’s paid and the refrigerator’s full, I won’t rest easy.

Let’s see, what else went wrong today? Well, I had some email nightmares I had to deal with, but Tom helped get me out of that jam. I regularly change passwords on all accounts that I use regularly. When I went to change my Yahoo account PW, it kept telling me it was invalid. I sent a message to customer service. This was yesterday. When I got up today I couldn’t log in no matter what I tried. When Tom finally got me in there was a message there from Yahoo saying that others had experienced the same problem and that they had reset my PW. I was like, you reset my PW and then you magically expected me to get into my box to get the new PW??? Damn fools! Isn’t that a lot like locking your keys in your car?

I’m not done yet. I got a free sample of Cream of Wheat. I poured it into a bowl, poured hot water into it from the dispenser, grabbed a spoon, and then there was the spider in the middle of it all! Yuck! It was apparently on the spoon that I grabbed from the dish rack. So no Cream of Wheat for me today.

The dog whistle also came today, but it’s too soon to say whether or not it will work. It’ll probably take a couple of weeks to work like the automatic one we want to get when we have more money says it takes. It’s not something that keeps dogs from barking altogether, but something that stops them from barking excessively. Also, Jesse definitely worked today and I’m pretty sure he did end up working yesterday, too. And we more than likely slept through the worst of it since we both got up between 7:30 and 9:00 the last two days, which is fine with me cuz they’re definitely way worse in the early mornings.

Today it was quiet until he went to get the mail around 11:00. When they went off I stepped outside and ordered them to settle down. They did. Then they went off in the early afternoon. Tom used the whistle, but because it was the first time, it took a while for them to settle down. Then they went off again shortly afterward while I was listening to music. Tom said it was another dog that stirred them up that time. He said they ignored it for a while and then decided to join in with the barking. I don’t know how long it took to settle them down that time because I didn’t come out from under the headphones till the end of that fit. Then they started up right before 6:00, which I would think would be close to when Jesse gets in, and I stopped them fairly fast. I matched the length of their barks. So if they barked several times, I blew steadily on the whistle. If they gave a quick bark, I gave a quick blow. By 6:00 we didn’t need to “blow them off” anymore.

It’s funny to think that his dogs are in training, in a sense, and he doesn’t even know it, even if it sucks that the responsibility has to fall on us since he doesn’t give a shit.

WEDNESDAY, APRIL 1, 2009 An earthquake was reported west of Sacramento. We didn’t feel anything here, east of Sacramento, I’m pleased to say.

The rains are pretty much done till next September or October, though we are going to have a few more rainy days this week.

Yesterday I did a huge cleaning and rearranging job around here. I decided to only display half my Barbie collection at a time to make dusting easier on me. So now they’re all in just two places with a few exceptions. I’ve got most of them lined up along the sill in the big kitchen window.

I’m not going to resume the Italian until I’m staying up later when there’s less likely to be any distractions.

Legacy.com is a free obituary site that someone on OLS was talking about. Interestingly enough, the 3 grandparents I knew were all born in 1909 and they all died in their mid-70s. And I have an uncle and a close family friend who died at 72. It seems most of my family, and those who were like family, don’t make it past 75. But my folks just barely made it past the mid-70 marker, and I feel they’ll make it into the 80s.

Even cousins Boo and Max didn’t make it to the 80s. When I read that funeral services were held in Cali for Max, I wondered if one of their kids lives out here. Sure enough, Rhoda’s been all over this state, according to my research. I wonder why no one ever told me. Then again, we’re virtual strangers who rarely saw each other and wouldn’t recognize each other if our paths crossed.

As suspected, Andy’s father did die. That was back in ‘04.

I was a little surprised not to find the Borrellis who may be around 80-85 now. They could still be alive, but if they are, where are they? They’re not in Massachusetts or Florida and I can’t imagine where else they could possibly be.

Tom killed some more weeds around the place, and there were only a few scatterings of barks. Nothing to indicate that Jesse worked today, although if he didn’t, it’s strange that I never heard the motorcycle and that he didn’t bulldoze down here. Construction is like that where you don’t work consistently, so I wouldn’t assume that he’s been laid off again.

My gums were irritating me in a certain spot so Tom suggested I use his mouthwash since his is for germs and mine’s for cavities, and I’ve been using a non-electric toothbrush which doesn’t clean as well. So I used his and it was like rinsing my mouth with acid! Ah, but it really did relieve the soreness.

[yourbonafidelove]

Smith Street & S.Barlett - 1hr - 1:hr & 25 minutes ago

I hold my breath when they come through the 3 way stop, But it's only because they brake,

When it's another grill coming my way I close my eyes and say thank you. Relieved.

The cops braking in their unmarked chevy truck is like the going into remission one last time -- fucking pointless, with suffering included. More on this shortly.

Lunch Time: The Conversation At Mysticle With Steve Plays Back

Here's How Our Conversation At Mysticle Went, While You Sat On The Large White Deep Freezer by the Folding Doors:

You tell me to look her up. You tell me that's your dream girl.

And I don't care where it's going, You can tell me she's a fucking tranny, But I know it's all about the frame,

4.9K views · 107 reactions | Mercedes Blanche on Reels | Mercedes Blanche · Original audio

Mercedes Blanche · Original audio

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And all I said was...

"I'm sorry, I love you so much but my heart is broken. [Teary eyes and a crackling pinch at the top of my nose] And I never want to see you again." And I meant it. I fucking meant it.

My heart and soul cry at how they pick n chose. The heart is on the surface, like a first heartache -- but the soul is the light that never comes back on, because you suffocated it of oxygen, and fuel, and life. "That conversation will have you taken for shallow" Says Char

"I'm good with shallow Char. What I'm not good for is being taken for not-push-into tracks-ready when you (Steve) already lost Dr. Elana

And for you to have the audacity to bring up with Mercedez shit with me, You had 2 occasions where you stood in a room with my best friend, Where you had his wife painting my sisters nails, passed out on a bed on the floor of a house in oshawa, You had the audacity to pull this shit twice, when I only gave you once,

And spread shit at the perfect time like that man that nearly killed me " That was a moment I had to look at my best friend, and Char, And tell them with my eyes alone that Steve kills me in the end. Just like Orville -- just like Orville and loving it.

-------

Steve looks at me amused --- he is amused with me dying The way it amused Orville when he tortured me In my wake and in my sleep Steve is amused with me dying.

--------

I repeat the following to myself in my head, Knowing the suffering is coming to a swift end Because I've fucking had it I don't give a flying fuck about that generator. I don't give a flying fuck about that generator. I don't give a flying fuck about that generator. I don't give a flying fuck about refueling the generator to a house that has had the power and light cut from it. I don't give a flying fuck about that last $5 or refueling the generator. Let the house go dark. Let my eyes go dark. I don't give a flying fuck about that generator.

2:50pm-3:15pm: I keep walking around like I'm gonna wake up and somebody is going to be there. But You don't come. You don't come baby. (Telling myself to suck it the fuck up, get over it, and move the fuck on -- With Steve/Harmony Rd getting a piece of me in the process. Yeah, the cops still show up in the middle of the night and take our children from their beds and homes. Fuck the colour orange, now they just dress in grey and call a mental health nurse for the suffering they created.)

5:00pm-5:31pm

Sitting At Smith St & S. Barlett, Kingston Ontario Canada then walking of to Giant Tiger on Princess Street

If Tomorrow Never Comes - Swiss & Etana Comes to mind, the lyrics play on my heart But I picture 2.57seconds in from Everytime When he's pulling her out of the bathtub I think of you holding me the same way And I'm telling you It's going to be okay And to let me go And there's nothing we can do because the cops on the wrong side set it up this way, And I promise you I am at peace, And I slip back under the water, And under the surface my eyes are closed But I'm still smiling, telling you I am okay. And I am at peace, If a Toronto person had run that stop and left me dead on that sidewalk, the cops lingering around still would have been too late

- To save me - To end this story differently - To catch a bad guy ---

Because the driver must've been/must be a good one. (Because God is good, all the time) 5:31pm: I ask someone crossing infront of Giant Tiger on Princess Street for the time. I am waiting for the 501 downtown.

The last 501 passed me as I left Smith St and S.Barlett approx 10 minutes ago. 6:11pm: Humming Cover Me Up - Morgan Wallen 6:11pm - Downtown I read the sign with the time and location just after I get on the 2 - Kingston Centre - SLC

[kirstenguevarra]

1 year since I left

I remember the last week I was in the Philippines. The last week before I had to fly to Canada. I planned a little get-together with my closest friends, something small and simple. We drank beer, smoked cigarettes and reminisced. We talked about everything we possibly could in one night. 

At some point, I drank too many beers and started crying. I saw my friends laughing, realizing I wouldn’t have this for a while. The last week I was home, I was in denial about leaving, but at that moment, reality suddenly hit. I am not going to have this for a long time, I might never have it again.

“We’ll call you! We’ll text!” They said to me, rubbing my back, comforting me. Their warmth gave me enough strength to leave. They will call. They will text. And for a few weeks, they did. But we all suddenly got too busy. The time suddenly became a struggle to keep up with. School was overwhelming, work was exhausting. 

It seems as if everyone moved on. Moved on to another semester in college, moved to another apartment, moved to another job. And it seems like I am the only one who stayed.

I watch everyone go on about their lives, I send them texts. I tell them I miss them. There’s nothing else I can do. 

I wake up in a country too cold for my body, I go to a job that I despise, I watch the snow fall and the trees go from green to golden, and I watch my friends live their lives. I don’t belong there anymore, but I don’t belong here either.

I try to find the same warmth I had with the people from home from the people I met here, but I can’t. I feel so lonely in the company of other people. I feel like an intruder. I do not belong here.

Conversations with people are always full of “I miss you” and “I can’t wait to see you” but it always ends with that. I don’t know when I can go back home again. I miss my dog, I miss laughing till my stomach hurts, I miss the sun, I miss how hot it gets in the summer. I miss everything being so close to me, I miss my friends. I miss their voices. I miss my old tiny room. I miss it all. 

I want to go home.

[merry-tes]

Nature as a focus

“Birds Nest” Photo Credit: Marites A.

I noticed birds were nesting up the tree. It is more noticeable as the tree has no leaves. It caught my attention as I could hear the baby birds chirping and making sounds. I wonder if the mother bird is with the baby birds. Probably the reason why they are making noises is that they are calling for their mother. The noises of birds in the nest remind me of the rooster's crowing. That sound is our alarm clock to wake up in the morning back home.

“Pigeon” Photo Credit: Marites A.

I noticed that the pigeon was eating something on the ground. Other pigeons' feathers are lighter in colour compared to others. I wonder what else they could eat? How far could the pigeon fly? The pigeon reminds me of my flight going to Canada, riding the airplane.

“Squirrel” Photo Credit: Marites A.

I noticed this squirrel looked chubby compared to others I have seen before. The squirrel also has some white streaks on its tail like a skunk. The squirrel is looking toward me probably expecting me to give some nuts. I wonder how squirrels survive the cold weather of winter. I also wonder if squirrels are easy to be pet. The squirrel reminds me of my dog way back home.

“Naked Tree” Photo Credit: Marites A.

I noticed the trees have lost almost all their leaves and there is a little that is left but they look dry and dead. It also looks like the top half of the tree was from another tree that was placed on top of the existing tree and was held on by the yellow string tied on it. I can also see that the patterns on the bark of the top and bottom parts of the tree are different. I wonder why they did this to the tree and if the tree survives after having its “transplant”. I also wonder if the tree’s leaves would grow back again once spring comes. The tree that I just saw reminds me of my friend back home in the Philippines who is fond of bonsai trees. Bonsai trees are miniature trees, and my friend really loves them. She waters it regularly and trims its leaves and branches so that the tree looks good. My friend also believes that bonsai trees bring her good luck.

“Natural Christmas Tree” Photo Credit: Marites A.

I noticed the tree looked like a real Christmas tree. Its leaves and branches may not look symmetrical like the artificial ones, but you can tell it is one. It still looks young and small, living and thriving even in the cold weather, compared to the plant beside it, which has lost its leaves. I wonder if its leaves fall. Could you decorate the tree without cutting it during Christmas, and how tall would this tree grow next year? This tree reminds me of the Christmas season back home, as radio stations would play Christmas songs as early as September. I also remember my family and me decorating our Christmas tree together.

“Footprints” Photo Credit: Marites A.

I noticed there are footprints in the snow. The footprints look small, but they are of the same size and go in different directions. I wonder if the footprints are that of a child or a dog. The small footprints remind me of my goddaughter. The last time I saw her was during her baptism 2 years ago. I used to visit her a lot and play with her. I hope she still remembers me.

“Smelling Pine Tree and Cones” Photo Credit: Marites A.

I noticed this tree has some small cones in it. Upon smelling it, it smells fantastic and refreshing. Is the smell more pungent if I crush the cones and leaves off them? The scent of the tree reminds me of the inside of the car.

“Bark Tree” Photo Credit: Marites A.

I noticed this tree looked big and sturdy. However, it has no leaves in it, and the outer part of the bark looks like it is flaking or falling off. I wonder if I can climb on this tree to test if the tree is strong. This tree reminds me of our mango tree back home that I used to climb on and take its fruits when I was small and younger.

“Burlap Tree” Photo Credit: Marites A.

I noticed this tree has a cloth or canvas surrounding it and it looks like it is there for it to support the tree's growth as the tree is still young and small. I wonder if the tree would survive and grow to be tall and strong with the protection of the fabric. The fabric fence reminds me of how my parents are when I was growing up. They protected and supported me as I grew into the person I am now.

How does a scavenger hunt support children’s curiosity?

Curious by nature, children are born eager to learn and they will explore to try to comprehend their environment.

When conditions, such as safety is present, it allows children explore their environment to satisfy curiosity which leads to the child learning and as children continue investigate their surroundings, these experiences then lead to more curiosity to the child which will develop emotional, social, intellectual, and physical aspects of the child.

Scavenger hunt is a child’s activity, wherein the child is given a list of things he/she should find and bring back. In this activity, children would be relying mostly on their senses in exploring their environment as they do the hunt.

Doing this activity supports a child’s curiosity as it engages and develops the child’s senses. Using the senses, such as smell, sight, touch and sound, is very important in observing and exploring one’s environment which helps the child to satisfy our curiosity.

Another benefit that a scavenger hunt to a child’s curiosity is that it exposes children to things that they may find very interesting. If a child is interested in something, he/she would be more curious to learn and explore it.