#ruth clancy

[stereopticons]

On This Day in Schitt's Creek: March 26

2019

Hide Your Diamonds [david/patrick, t, 2,937] by helvetica_upstart

“I’m going to work on wedding planning,” Patrick says, smacking a kiss onto David’s lips, “And you are going to reconcile with your sister.” David wrings his hands. “But — you can’t tell the difference between eggshell and ivory!” “Better make up quickly, then!” Or, Patrick and David get engaged. Alexis worries about getting left behind.

2020

decisions... [david/patrick, G, 493] by @startswithhope

Stevie spies David and Patrick during their reception having a soft moment alone.

The Meaning of My Life Is [david/patrick, G, 898] by @doublel27

Once upon a time, his ideal honeymoon had involved private jets and tropical beaches and mansions that you could get lost in. There’s something, though, to having his methodical husband come to him with bright eyes and a slightly wild grin and tell him he had a week to figure out what to pack for the honeymoon they’d agreed they would hold off on until they could actually afford one. His startled gasp and tears had been met with Patrick insisting that Toronto might not be Tokyo but it was better than Elm Glen.

Welcome to Cabaret [david/patrick, E, 51,641] by @vivianblakesunrisebay

In this alternate universe, Moira is the director of Cabaret, David is her assistant director, and Patrick is the star of the show. In other words, David and Patrick meet during the a production of Cabaret.

2021

Alexis Rose: International Woman of Mystery and The New Watcher's Council [faith/buffy, T, 1,195, CW; violence] by SoLongSaulGood

The New Watcher's Council tries to convince a retired spy to do one last job.

and all the silver moons [david/patrick, G, 3,268] by @roseapothecary

David was not at open mic night to see Patrick Brewer. He was not, in fact, at the open mic night at all; he was at his favorite cafe, finishing an assignment he’d been working on for the last six weeks... and that cafe happened to have an open mic night, where Patrick Brewer happened to be playing. He’d worked during the cafe’s weekly open mic night for six Wednesdays in a row. But it wasn’t for Patrick Brewer.

dancing when the music stopped [alexis & david, G, 2,304] by @lilythesilly

The thought of going back to the motel and to the succulent and the unmade bed from this afternoon and the looks from her parents is not, like, appealing in the slightest, so when she leaves the cafe she turns left instead of right. After Ted leaves, there's only one place Alexis wants to go. Post-Presidential Suite.

Full Lid [david/patrick, T, 2,140] by swat117

Why did no one think he was capable of handling one single briefing? Stevie certainly wasn’t capable today. She couldn’t even say the words press briefing, let alone lead one. And who else was going to do it? (six months into the Rose White House in my sappy political AU, Patrick covers for Stevie in the press room)

Haiti [david/patrick, T, 300] by Rosey_Peach

I Could Draw You Something [david/patrick, T, 5,840] by @lisamc-21

College-age David and Patrick meet in a NYC body art studio. David is getting a piercing, and Patrick is getting a tattoo. Fond eyes, instant connection, Patrick likes David in a skirt, etc. Rated T for language, a few references to sex and piercing description

i'd Miss You Even If I Never Met You [david/patrick, E, 44,833] by Varanidae

Patrick had a hard time sleeping. He stared at his alarm clock. It read 3:15am. He would have to wake up in only four more hours to start getting ready in order to make it to the airport two hours prior to departure. He’d received a text from Twyla—his friend at the paper—a few days after inquiring about the author of the article. Twyla was a little surprised at Patrick’s interest, but she was encouraging nonetheless. The only information Twyla had about the author was the name Rose and an email address. Patrick had waited two weeks before making up his mind, and even then was so nervous about the fact that he was basically hiring a hooker, that he asked Twyla to set everything up for him. Twyla could be a little quirky, but he trusted her sweet nature to convince this Rose person. And surely one week’s notice before having to take an international flight to accompany him to his sister’s wedding in Canada should suffice, right? Patrick would be paying six thousand dollars for services rendered, after all. ORThe Wedding Date AU

Speak the Language of Love [david/patrick, NR, 663] by sunonyourskin

"He knows that David has just given himself fully to Patrick. He’s danced his way through a thousand apologies, lip-synced his way through the words Patrick had been desperate to hear for days now." ---------- A short introspective Patrick piece immediately following The Olive Branch lipsync. First Part of "The Moments In Between" series.

The Story of Us [david/patrick, G, 132] by @swiftlythebest

Friends to lovers in a bookstore (so what it says on the tin).

thinking about last night [david/patrick, T, 1,213] by @dessertwaffles

Patrick can’t stop thinking about last night at Stevie’s. When he looks up from the register and sees David’s hands carefully arranging bottles of moisturizer, adjusting them so that all of the labels are facing one direction, he remembers the way those hands traveled up and down his body, mapping out every inch of bare skin with the same focused precision. Or, after their night at Stevie's, Patrick has trouble focusing at work.

We Rearrange and Realign [marcy & patrick, T, 12,169, CW: suicide] by elifisher96

Marcy watches her son struggle while hospitalized for being suicidal. ---- Marcy's perspective on Until Now Gives Way to Then

with your breath [stevie/twyla, T, 2,036] by @5ambreakdown

Looking at Twyla in this god awful bar after a three week trip to New Hampshire, Stevie wants nothing more than to bundle up within her, burrow inside of her until all she knows Twyla, in all her kindness and goodness and quirks.

2022

[Podfic] Switching Gears [david/patrick, T, podfic] by Amanita_Fierce

From the woman having a loud argument in front of him, to the guy across the aisle stinking out the place with his sandwich, the bus is a nightmare. Unfortunately, it's one David is stuck with until he gets his license back. The guy chasing the bus down is a welcome diversion from the tedium - kind of cute too - until they hear what he has to say. A bomb on the bus...David didn't see that one coming. Speed AU [Podfic of "Switching Gears" written by anonymous]

Believe in Tomorrow [david/patrick, E, 2,919] by @mostlyinthemorning

David’s houseplants are dying and if they do, his only chance at happiness dies with them. And there’s only one person who can help. Unfortunately, Patrick is the last person that David wants to see.

Easy to talk to [david/patrick, G, 2,084] by @filet-o-feelings

Patrick decides to try a dating app and asks for David's help talking to guys.

Firefly [david/patrick, T, 2,675] by @weathereyehorizon

It's Patrick's day, and they're doing what Patrick wants. David surprises Patrick with a trip to the local fire hall for his birthday. Stevie tags along and is about as helpful as you would expect. Lots of hot fire fighter thirsting and innuendo ensues.

Gotta Love a Man In Uniform [david/patrick, m, 1,637] by @delilah-mcmuffin

“Ooh, yes. This is good,” David says, giving an excited wiggle. “Sexy Firefighter is a classic porn trope.” They watch as the scene unfolds on the screen; a man dressed in a very cheaply made facsimile of a firefighter’s turnout gear arrives at a non-descript door, a coil of hose looped over his shoulder. He knocks and the door opens, and Brock Thunderstone is standing there in all his chiseled, bronzed glory. David and Patrick moan in unison. “God, he’s so hot,” David murmurs appreciatively. Or: David and Patrick watch some very sexy firefighter porn. And maybe they get a little bit inspired.

I See Colors When I Hear Your Voice [david/patrick, T, 22,472] by @this-will-be-our-year

A story in which David Rose's love for black & white extends beyond his wardrobe, to a 1950s series called Creekville. But what if he discovers that a life lived in technicolor isn’t so bad after all? Or: A Pleasantville AU

Never Been Kissed (by a boy) [david/patrick, T, 5,069] by @sweatersinthesummer

“Thanks, Professor Rose,” Patrick said, teasingly. It hadn’t taken long at all to figure out what made David laugh, and calling him that never failed to elicit a chuckle. Patrick was flirting, and it felt amazing. Flirting with this gorgeous, funny, talented man. He’d only realized he was gay a few months prior, and David was the first man he really felt attracted to. Who he wanted to flirt with. It felt amazing. He knew who he wanted his first kiss (with a boy) to be, and he was standing right in front of him. The Never Been Kissed AU.

Never kiss you again [david/patrick, G, 317] by A_fluffer_nutter

Patrick is tickling the shit out of David just for fun.

Of course not [alexis/ted, G, 296] by A_fluffer_nutter

Just a cute little tickle ficlet.

Spooky Moths [alexis & david, G, 452] by A_fluffer_nutter

David is scared of moths and Alexis is so fucking done.

Strong Pretty Big [david/patrick, T, 2,633] by @missgeevious

“Oh my god!” Patrick can’t see David’s face, so he’s not sure which of his oh my gods that was. It could be his angry one, or his annoyed one, or his amused one, or his sexy one, or his— “It’s my annoyed one, Patrick. Stop telling the man how pretty he is and focus. Answer his question.” Yep. That was his annoyed one.

Switching Gears [david/patrick, T, 7,307] by @beaiola

From the woman having a loud argument in front of him, to the guy across the aisle stinking out the place with his sandwich, the bus is a nightmare. Unfortunately, it's one David is stuck with until he gets his license back. The guy chasing the bus down is a welcome diversion from the tedium - kind of cute too - until they hear what he has to say. A bomb on the bus... David didn't see that one coming. Speed AU

The last first kiss - a series of alternate first kisses [david/patrick, E, 12,693] by @cheesecurdsgravyandfries

In which the author wanted more different soft first kisses, and so she indulged herself and wrote them. Each chapter is a standalone story, with a different first kiss, unless otherwise indicated. It's my fic, I do what I want.

The Way to go Home [david/patrick T, 15,489] by obsessedwithdavrick

Patrick Brewer doesn't understand how other people are happy. He followed the steps that other people take to be happy and yet somehow... He just can't shake the malaise of his tick the box life. Backpacking through Europe seems like a good way to court excitement and to find himself. However, he is feeling stuck and alone until his path crosses that of the most enigmatic man he's ever met, David Rose, and the pieces of his life that didn't make sense, start to fall into place. A story about finding yourself in places you never expected.

These Are the Voyages [stevie/ruth, T, 5,815] by @treepyful

"Oh God," was Ruth's groaned response. "I was hoping we'd be further into our relationship before you discovered the depths of my obsession." ** Ruth introduces Stevie to Star Trek.

vroom, vroom, bitches [david/patrick, M, 31,142] by @blueink3

It’s Friday, for fuck’s sake. David did not have ‘death’ on the agenda for today. But here he is, on a bus, attempting to steer this twin-axle six-wheeler despite lacking a valid regular license, let alone a commercial one, because to add insult to severe injury, the driver’s been fucking shot and if the speedometer drops below 80 kilometers per hour, said bus will explode. Because some idiot decided to go ahead and put a bomb on it. Or, the Speed AU that at least one of you asked for.

Wait, when were you in Peru? [david/patrick, T, 1,886] by @lastchancecafe13

9-1-1 what’s your emergency? So like, there's a bit of a situation here. Oh my god, Alexis, just tell them we need help. Shush, David. You could have called 9-11 if you wanted to be bossy about it. ARE WE TO BE FREED FROM THIS CAVERN AT ANY POINT IN THE FORESEEABLE FUTURE? ________There's a bit of an accident on the set of the Sunrise Bay reboot. The 118 comes to save the day.

you're the one thing (i can't get enough of) [alexis/twyla, T, 6,226] by @sarahlevys @lilythesilly

“Hey, Twy? Remember how you took that lift out of the routine because you said we didn’t have enough time to practice?” “Yeah. Why?” “Well…what if we practiced now?” Dirty Dancing, but make it Twylexis.

2023

I picked out that frame [david/patrick, M, 7,774] by @sasstrick

“I actually picked out that frame.” “Ah—” David started. “I see—” “For you,” Patrick pushed on. David’s mouth shut and his brows furrowed in confusion. Patrick made himself stand up straight and look at him. “I picked it out because I wanted to impress you.” +++++++ In which Patrick tells David how he feels from the start and it changes things.

paint me up (you're my favorite color) [david/patrick, E, 2,498] by @stereopticons

The first time David arrives at the store wearing nail polish, Patrick is entirely unprepared. Over the last several months, he’s grown accustomed to David’s sartorial surprises. Though he still hasn’t figured out what ‘wild aloof rebel’ means, he likes when David wears the skirted pants, even if they are harder to remove. The two times David wore a skirt with no pants underneath, the store was closed for an extended lunch break while Patrick got on his knees in the back room to show exactly how appreciative he was. The nail polish, though. That’s new. David wears nail polish. Patrick has a lot of feelings about it.

Stats:

No fanworks for 2017, 2018, or 2024 2019: 1 fic/2,937 words 2020: 3 fics/53,032 words 2021: 12 fics/75,823 words 2022: 18 fanworks (17 fics, 1 podfic)/121,127 words 2023: 2 fics/10,272 words Total: 36 fanworks (35 fics, 1 podfic)/263,191 words

[scfrozenover]

It's Day Four, and we hope you're ready for these fics! Grab your holiday beverage and settle in!

*❄️*

DAY FOUR REVEALS

Christmas Parol

[Stevie/Ruth, E, 11,038 words]

RMG is having its very first Holiday Party….

*❄️*

Hotter than Chocolate

[David/Patrick, G, 5,200 words]

David didn’t have “snippy man with soulful eyes and a devastating smile” on his Christmas List this year, but he wasn’t going to complain.

Well, not too much anyway.

Or…

David and Patrick meet while doing some last minute shopping on Christmas Eve.

*❄️*

[podfic] Snipe

[David/Patrick, M, 1:01:37]

Audio recording of "Snipe" by samwhambam

***

David knew it was going to happen, one day he would have to meet Patrick's parents, but it still takes him by surprise when it does, when they insist on getting to know David. What really shocks him, is how well it all goes.

Snipe: A sweet shot that beats the goalie.

Or hockey bfs, but the one where David meets the Brewers

 *❄️*

CREATORS: If your works were released today, please don’t forget to update your posting date!

[mammameesh]

Pinapple

@schittscreekdrabblechallenge

"Antonio, what's this on the pizza?" David takes a bite scrunches his nose, and puts his piece down.  "It's pineapple.  I grow it in my hothouse. Only the best for my Prince!"  "Hothouse.  Can I see?" Patrick perks up and leaves David with the girls. "In my culture pineapples are...how do you say it? You eat them if you want kids." Ruth hums.  David drops his slice.  Stevie laughs. "Patrick is not going to get you pregnant."  "How do you know?" David takes another bite.  "Stop eating it if you don't like it!"   "I have to be polite!" 

[farm-witches-fic-recs]

Most joyous of Fridays to you, our farm witch friends!

The coven is so happy to be able to bring you our first round of May community recs. We hope that you will enjoy these reads and make sure to give the writers some love!

Blessed be!

=========================================

Before I Met You ( @dinnfameron​) “It’s 2008. David’s at his local bar in NYC feeling alone and unlovable when a very drunk curly-haired spring-breaking business student appears at his side. Dinnfameron’s account of the resulting conversation is excellent—it’s perceptive but still playful, and it’s sweet but not simple.”

Hungry (aworldofdreams) “This little fic is a masterclass in sensuous, even smutty, food-based metaphor and imagery. You will never look at bechamel sauce in the same light again. You will never look at an orange in the same light again. You will fan yourself, and then perhaps take a cool shower.”

Nothing burns like the cold (@wildxwired​) “I'm a not a crier, but I get weepy over this fic. Everything about it is perfect from Patrick's introspective hallucinations and the range of emotions to the utter relief at the end.” 

Spring Forward, Fall Back (The_Same_But_Different) “I love David trying to wrap his head around spring training.”

Show this town how to kiss these stars (doingthemost/@sarahlevys​) “The first of a beautifully written trio of Stevie/Ruth early relationship stories. A first date in NYC that ends with the strong implication that maybe this time, Stevie will win.”

Stride of Pride (NotTheLoveGuru) “It's a cute post-night at Stevie's fic.”

What Happened to You? (therapychicken) “This is a deep exploration of Patrick's and David's established canon relationship, circa Season 5. Patrick is taken off of the "perfect boyfriend" pedestal and the two of them have intensely serious and nuanced conversations about what it means to enact honesty, vulnerability, and reciprocity in a long-term relationship between adults, and in a lot of ways they're talking about the sharing of power in a way that is rare and beautiful. One of David's speeches late in this piece has stuck with me for years and I find myself thinking about it all the time. Great stuff.”

[scrarefest]

We did it, folks. It’s Friday, and we’re rounding out our week with our final selection of works. This year’s Rare Fest comes to a close with themes of friendship, family, and love — much like the show that we’re all here to celebrate. We hope you enjoy them!

Have fun following along this week? Don’t forget to leave a kudos or comment to show our writers your appreciation!

***

Taking Care of David

[Alexis & David, Teen, 5,590]

With Patrick out of town, the last thing David needs is to be stuck in bed with the flu. They've been planning Patrick's attendance at the conference for months, there's no question of him returning to help out. But as chance would have it, Alexis is in town for a couple of weeks and reluctantly, David agrees to let Patrick ask for her help. It isn't like she's going to say 'yes' anyway...

***

Marcy's Girls

[Alexis, Marcy, & Stevie, Teen, 4,464]

Marcy is left alone with Alexis and Stevie after David has to pick Patrick up from a vendor run. Alexis and Stevie both turn to Marcy for relationship advice, and Marcy finds herself to be a substitute mother to the girls.

***

Want S’more

[Patrick/Jake/Mutt, Explicit, 3536]

Patrick goes camping and gets a crash course in survival woodworking.

***

your secret's safe with me

[Ruth/Stevie, Mature, 3,125]

Stevie hates surprises. Truly, there’s nothing she hates more. They make her extremely uncomfortable, and always make her cry, whether or not they’re good surprises. She’s terrible at planning them, too. She’s never been particularly good at keeping secrets, which seems to shock most people.

But somehow, despite all of this, Stevie has ended up dating Ruth who not only likes surprises, but also just informed her that she booked a trip to visit Schitt's Creek for her birthday. So now Stevie has to plan a surprise party for her sophisticated, big city girlfriend in a town that only has one restaurant.

Stevie enlists David's help to plan a surprise party for Ruth. It goes about as well as one would expect.

***

Best Budds

Stevie, G, 2,875]

A pre canon telling of Stevie’s relationship with the Motel over the passage of time and the lifelong effect it bestowed upon them.

***

You Miss 100% of the Tapes You Don't Play

[Patrick & Stevie, Teen, 995]

Patrick and Stevie support one another’s endeavors on two separate occasions.

***

a reason to stay

[Alexis/Twyla, G, 606]

 It isn't like she's never been used, like no one's ever looked at her and seen someone they could discard. It isn't like her family, their voices raised through the mansion as they all pack up their lives, cares about her.

 She shoves things in suitcases. Stavros will get her out of this; Stavros will bring her home.

 Still: when she finds David's stuffie in her closet, she packs it, too.

--

Alexis has packed and unpacked her life countless times—but until Schitt's Creek, she never found a place that made her want to stay.

***

Creators, don’t forget to update your posting dates if your work was revealed today!

[squisheelady]

When You Dish Upon a Star [S10 E5]

"Look, all I'm saying is, if these big stars didn't want people going through their garbage and saying they're gay, then they shouldn't have tried to express themselves creatively."

[snowy-weather]

I like to design little symbols/emblems for my Ace of Swords characters. Here's some key characters and their symbols.

Santos originally also had the teardrop shape but I didn't want two characters with the exact same symbol.

[hale-of-stiles-heart]

watching the World of Warcraft movie that came out in 2016 and I never realized how many actors I love are in this movie

[hullomoon]

it's perpetual bliss

Rating: General Audiences

Archive Warning: No Archive Warnings Apply

Category: F/F

Relationship: Stevie Budd/Ruth Clancy

Characters: Stevie Budd, Ruth Clancy

Additional Tags: Post-Canon, First Kiss, First Dates, Fluff

It's the end of their first date and Stevie is soaking up the last moments my 304th work

[shrekgogurt]

An ask game for writers to procrastinate working on you WIP(s)

Thanks for the tags @theearlgreymage and @wellbelesbian !!!!

🦈Tell us the name of your/ one of your WIP(s)

For the sake of this endeavor I’m gonna focus on I Knew A Boy, I Knew A Man which is also more affectionately referred to as IKABIKAM, eyecab eyecam, 👁️🚕👁️📸, etc.

🍄Describe your wip/one of your wips in the format of “___ + ___ =___”  

Natasha as like a vaguely Margaret Thatcher figure but she was in office in the late 90s not the 80s don’t think about it too hard okay the exact policy/praxis doesn’t matter so much as the ideology/vibes/dynamic + Davy (The Mage) as like a fucked up Welsh caricature (of his own design) because he’s overcompensating and has the media literacy of the worst film bro you’ve ever had the misfortune of talking to = their sons falling in love through football/soccer against all odds as juxtaposed between childhood and adulthood.

🌍What tags or warnings will your / one of your wip(s) need if you intend to share it?

Trauma

🧭An alternative title to your/ one of your WIP(s)?

Solsbury Hill for obvious reasons

⚠️Which wip you’re most likely to finish or update next?

This one :-)

💾What is your document of your wip/ a wip called? (not the stories actual title but what you’ve saved it as)

Okay, I’m usually absolute ass at naming files in any helpful fashion but this project is so organized on Google Docs. My notes app is a different story. Those don’t even have titles. I just launch into my whims as they come.

Most interesting answer I can give is that the folder containing all my fic documents is titled “kill the part that cringes.”

🖍Post Any sentence from your wip

Listen, I warned y’all.

To be in love with Simon Snow—a life sentence, an encyclopedia of grief.

♻️A scrapped idea for your current WIP

In the original musings of IKABIKAM—titled Scarborough Fair as the club was gonna be in Scarborough—Simon was Irish rather than Welsh and raised by Ruth. I know. Wild to think about now. But it’s true. And then I did some excavating on canon and the story we have today was born. Lost to time (the original idea of this fic which was actually two fics) is a whole very fun scene. I had planned that after the international break match against other, Simon convinced Baz to go out on the town with him. I wrote this snippet back then. It didn’t make the cut for obvious reasons and honestly I don’t know how much I stand by the characterization. Or the prose. Everything about IKABIKAM is better to me but this sexy little number deserves the people’s attention. I’m slightly concerned it’s offensive.

They’re playing INDUSTRY BABY in this club right now? I’m not dancing with Simon Snow to a Lil Nas X song. That music video…I’m only a man. I’m also not exactly sober. I will not risk a Snow relapse. Besides, Snow himself just downed the rest of his drink.

He leans toward me to say something. With the combination of his drunkenness and his accent I can barely make out his words, “eye gahta gohbakta da barrr.” (Translation: I’ve got to go back to the bar.) He really doesn’t.

I pluck the glass from his hand, “this last one is on me.”

He goofily smiles. His head is drooping to the side and his eyes are half-lidded. It would be adorable if I wasn’t worried about him falling over. I scan the room. One of the other Irish players is nearby. I hook Snow’s arm in mine (both my hands are full!) and drag him towards his teammate. He stumbles behind me looking completely blissed out.

I tap the other player on his shoulder. Clancy I think? The left winger. “Hey, I’m going to force Snow home so he can avoid a stomach pump. Could you make sure he doesn’t wander off while I close out my tab?”

He nods. I throw Snow at him and maneuver through the crowd up to the bar. It’s packed. I finish my own drink before I can push an opening to order. The bartender nods at me. She looks worn out from the night. I don’t blame her.

“Soda water with lime please.”

“Sure. What’s the name on the tab?”

“Grimm-Pitch. Could you close it?”

She nods and turns on her heel. A minute or so later she returns with the drink and my card. I take them.

“Is there any chance I could close out my mate’s tab too. He’s pissed.” I gesture back at the direction of Snow and Clancy. A circle of women have surrounded them. Honestly, fair.

The bartender gives me a wary eye. “What’s the name?”

“Snow.”

“Snow? Like the footballer Simon Snow over there?” She points at Simon.

I nod. The bartender scoffs, “Sure I’ll give Simon Snow’s card to some random Englishman.”

Random Englishman? Am I really going to have to do you know who I am this woman? I go for a subtle approach and just sort of lift an eyebrow and draw attention to the name on my own card: Tyrannus Basilton Grimm-Pitch. The realization hits her. I was afraid I would have to tie my hair up.

“Oh shit. Fuck you’re Baz Pitch.” She stares at me. I hold out my hand. “Right, the card!” She hands me Snow’s card.

I nod, “Alright. Thanks.”

She shakes her head at me, “No, sorry for the hassle. Have a good night English…defensive midfielder…Baz Pitch.” She says my name with a laugh like she’s awestruck I’m in this Dublin nightclub (fair), “and thanks for the win today!”

I’m beyond tired of hearing that line.

When I return Snow is having the time of his life: posted up surrounded by ladies singing along to Ayyy Ladies. They’re not being subtle in their flirting. (Again, fair. Good for them.) Snow is incredibly respectful despite being off his face. Good lad. He’s still far too drunk to consent to anything so I don’t feel terribly guilty for pulling him away from the grind fest.

When he sees me approach he lights up, “Baz!” His arms fly open. “Took you long enough.”

I hand him his drink. There is a blonde woman dancing on him. She throws her arms around his neck. He knocks back the drink and chugs it in one go. A little water dribbles down his chin and he wipes it away with his thumb. It catches on his bottom lip. He hasn’t looked away from me once. And this fucking song…

“When I hit it from the back, don't fuss, don't fight

When I put it in ya mouth, don't scratch, don't bite”

I need to get the fuck out of here.

He hands me back the glass, “That drink was awful. What was it?” His speech is a little less slurred than before.

“Water. I’m taking you home.”

He blushes, “What?”

“You’re plastered. So, you should get sick in your own loo rather than on this lovely woman,” I give the blonde a wink. She dances away.

I’m pretty sure tabs aren’t even really that much of a thing in Ireland. And like…I don’t think you can close them out for someone else. So like. I don’t know what the fuck I was on while writing that. Obviously not Google.com, or reality. But most of all I was absolutely jump-scared reading that back and discovering I was gonna make Baz a defensive midfielder? WTF!?

🤔What’s a story you’d love to write but haven’t even started yet?

A hockey one-shot. Whenever it happens the chirps are gonna be out of this world.

🤡How many Wips are you actively working on?

One in a way that’s meaningful. Maybe two. It’s a fresh thing.

🛠Is there a scene or anything in the WIP you are struggling with right now?

The chapter is really expositional in an isolated way and so I have to backtrack for context without being boring.

❤️Not a question, just a second kudos to send.

Blessed beyond belief.

Now tagging @artsyunderstudy @brilla-brilla-estrellita @cutestkilla @facewithoutheart @hushed-chorus @iamamythologicalcreature @ileadacharmedlife @j-nipper-95 @noblecorgi @prettygoododds @thewholelemon @valeffelees @roomwithanopenfire @youarenevertooold @you-remind-me-of-the-babe omg and @emeryhall tell me everything

[stereopticons]

On This Day in Schitt's Creek: March 25

2019

camera shy [david/patrick, E, 6,960] by @wild-aloof-rebel

“You two are the face of Rose Apothecary, David,” Alexis says in that breezy way that means she thinks he’s being deliberately obtuse. “And putting a face with the name personalizes your brand and helps build an emotional bond that increases customer loyalty.” “Did you choke on a textbook?” Alexis thinks that making videos of David and Patrick talking about how they met is somehow going to help the store. David thinks he'd rather throw up.

Imagine a world like this [david/patrick, T, 678] by schittsgeek

Spoiler warning: this is set post Season 5 Episode 11 credit roll It's super cheesy and was written while listening to Imagine by Ariana Grande on repeat if you want the full experience.

My Sweet Boy [david/patrick, T, 1,682] by @stargatewars

**SPOILERS FOR MEET THE PARENTS - S05E11** Marcy thinks about her son, Patrick, his past and his future, after finding out about his relationship with David.

2020

cause there is no guarantee that this life is easy [david/patrick, G, 2,116] by lucianowriter

Patrick Brewer is upset. Marriage is supposed to be a team effort. So why does he feel like he's being left behind? Set directly after 6x12.

Decision [david/patrick, G, 611] by ThighsLikeTreeTrunks

Patrick thinks about moving to New York.

Five Roads Home [david/patrick, M, 2,133] by @whetherwoman

Five different choices David and Patrick might make.

grow where you're planted [david/patrick, G, 637] by patrickbrewer

David steps closer and holds out a hand. Patrick finally looks up at him, brown eyes wide and sad in the pale moonlight. He hesitates, and David sighs. “You know I’m not going to come down there and get grass stains on my outfit. My mom already made me kneel on the dirty motel floor today. Please?” Despite everything, Patrick lets out a soft laugh, shaking his head as he takes David’s hand.

Just Let Me Adore You [david/patrick, G, 1,569] by pennilesspoet

They need to talk about New York.

oh the wonders of confidence and a suit [stevie/ruth, T, 505] by @hullomoon [*editors note: this is the first stevie/ruth fic!]

Stevie gets to know Ruth

we found love (right where we are) [david/patrick, NR, 1,609] by @banesapothecary

Patrick knows that look all too well. It’s a look that says David is expecting the worst case scenario; a look that expects an end.

you're the only one i'll ever know [david/patrick, E, 1,893] by thegrayness

David comes home after a long day and Patrick helps him relax.

you're the sweetest thing [david/patrick, NR, 6,805] by @maxbegone

Patrick would choose David over everything else. It will always be David. Or, a series of moments where Patrick realizes how much David means to him.

2021

do you know me better than i know myself? [david/patrick, T, 1,550] by budd

David has a reluctant conversation with Patrick after he finds out he's seeing a therapist. Title from "Better" by Ben Platt

Find Your Bliss [david/patrick, M, 5,054] by @trueillusion82

The third sign, which David nearly tripped over, said, Come on in and let your stress and anxiety melt away, with an arrow pointing toward the door of a rather nondescript looking business whose logo featured a lotus flower in a calming shade of aquamarine. The small waiting area he could see through the front window appeared to be decorated in complementary shades of blue, white, and gray, with soft lighting and plush chairs. The whole space just looked… inviting. And warm, despite the coolness of the color scheme. His curiosity already piqued, he stepped back to peer up at the teal awning overhead, the front edge of which featured a swoopy font spelling out the name of the business: Utopia. While the sentiment was certainly intriguing, it told David absolutely nothing about what this business actually was -- aside from something that he could probably use, if the claims on their signs were anywhere near correct.

Guyana [twyla/oc, T, 300] by Rosey_Peach

If the World Was Ending [david/patrick, M, 8,524] by TheBasilRathbone

After Rachel's sudden appearance in town, David asks for some space to unpack what's happened. Patrick gives it to him. Two years later, David is back in New York, and his life only seems to be coming apart at the seams. And then, lonely and afraid and on the brink of disaster, there's a knock on the door of his basement apartment.

Make It Better [david/patrick, T, 12,462] by @agoodpersonrose

Marcy knows now that the Patrick she knew, the Patrick she raised, is different to the man she sees now. But seeing the evidence of this change so clearly in front of her is more than a little jarring. OR, five things Marcy Brewer learns about her son on his first visit back to the the family home, and one thing that stays the same.

Shiny [stevie & johnny, G, 1,172] by Brokencheese

Stevie hadn’t ever really done the ‘play’ thing when she was little. Her mom was seemingly always busy or angry for one reason to indulge anything she might want to try and it was all Stevie could do to not get in her way. Her house was chaotic and so often full of screaming cousins and hungover aunts and uncles who smelled bad and said bad words. There was always someone else to look after, someone’s nose to wipe, someone’s needs to care about over her own. She didn’t resent it- it’s just how things were. **After arranging one heck of a bachelor party for David and Patrick, Stevie has some feelings she needs to work through.

2022

[podfic] and by tomorrow i'll be on my way [david/patrick, T, podfic] by @hullomoon

In real life David and Patrick wouldn't want to be in the same room as the other, online however they're close friends. or a You've Got Mail AU [podfic of and by tomorrow I'll be on my way]

a glimpse of relief [david/patrick, T, 1,171] by wiccamoody

Patrick is having a boring night at the Wobbly Elm. Enter David, done with everything and maybe just what Patrick needs.

Can you imagine? [david/patrick, T, 621] by snorkel_maiden

Patrick finds something new and unexpected on the internet.

I'm surprised (that you've never been told before) [david/patrick, T, 32,646] by @beaiola

When his friend Ted asks Patrick for a favour, he knows it isn't the type of thing he should agree to. After all, asking out a guy so your friend can date his sister isn't the most morally sound of choices. But Ted's his best friend. And he's been crazy about Alexis Rose since the first time he saw her. It helps that the brother is David Rose and David Rose is... intriguing. Even if he seems to want nothing to do with Patrick. 10 Things I Hate About You AU

Once More with Feeling [david/patrick, T, 5,107] by @jettestar

When a musical spell is cast over the residents of Schitt's Creek, Patrick the Vampire Slayer and his friends are forced to reveal truths and feelings that they have carefully kept hidden to each other.

Room [david/patrick, NR, 955] by @tyfinn

David needs a place to get away...

Selling Schitt's Creek [alexis/twyla, T, 4,547] by @sarahlevys @lilythesilly @nerdframed @typewritess

The elite agents at The Butani Group sell the rural Ontario life to buyers in the Schitt’s Creek and greater Elmdale area. Relationships are everything, and that often means major drama. Inspired by the Netflix series, Selling Sunset.

Sensory friendly [david/patrick, G, 1,100] by lesbiantism

A comment from a customer sends David on a journey of self discovery

teenage dirtbag(s) [stevie/ruth, T, 6,055] by @treepyful

"I think her name is Noelle." "Hm?" Stevie grunted around her slushie straw, tipping her head at David in question. "The new girl," he clarified, and Stevie tore her eyes away from the unfolding scene in front of her to give him an affronted look. "I heard someone call her that yesterday." "Why would I care what some asshole prep's name is?" Stevie stirred her slushie aggressively – she'd taken a chance on the cafeteria's new flavour and was not impressed. David snorted. "I don't know, maybe because you've been staring at her like a starving dog." Stevie flipped him the bird and stole a french fry from his tray. ** A sapphic Schitt's Creek High School AU of Teenage Dirtbag.

Two Tears in a Bucket [david/patrick, E, 24,023] by HowOldAreWe

“Well, I guess it’s just like my mama always said. ‘Two tears in a bucket. Motherfuck it.’”- The Lady Chablis Patrick Brewer is in Savannah for three days, covering David Rose's legendary Ides of March Gala. At least, that's the plan until he finds himself entangled in a messy murder investigation and head over heels for the man who pulled the trigger.

wish i was the moon tonight [david/patrick, T, 7,102] by @stereopticons

David begrudgingly accepts that if there’s no option for pharmaceutical intervention, maybe this stupid Calm app is his best next choice. Ted never needs to know that David took his suggestion. He skips over the guided meditation options; he tried meditation in New York and found it impossible to not engage with every thought that crossed his mind. The sleep stories, though, sound not promising, exactly, but reasonable enough. David suffers from insomnia after moving to Schitt's Creek and turns to the sleep stories on Calm to help him fall asleep. Brewer's Baseball History is the only thing that helps, but what happens when the voice behind those stories shows up in town?

2023

Cherry Blossoms and Apologies [david & stevie, T, 779] by @tyfinn

Stevie has a surprise for David.

Just One Night [david/patrick, E, 9,842] by swift_wind

Patrick bites the bullet, and swipes his finger across the screen. *Matched* Oh fuck. ———— Patrick just needs one night, one hookup, to test a theory he has about himself. A dating app seems the most efficient method…right?

We're Not Doing Pooch [david/patrick, T, 2,851] by @wearpersistencewell

When two of David and Patrick's friends are faced with a difficult decision, David steps in. Because he is a good person. Or, David and Patrick adopt a dog.

Stats:

No fanworks for 2017, 2018, or 2024 2019: 3 fics/9,320 words 2020: 9 fics/18,078 words 2021: 6 fics/29,062 words 2022: 11 fanworks (10 fics, 1 podfic)/83,444 words 2023: 3 fics/13,472 words Total: 32 fanworks (31 fics, 1 podfic)/153,376 words

[sc-passions-and-pastimes]

We are very excited to kick off year three of Passions and Pastimes reveals!

Before we jump into the reveals, we want to thank all of the creators who submitted works, and everyone else for the interest and excitement in allowing us to bring another year of Passions and Pastimes to life.

We’ll be posting over 5 days: Monday through Friday, each day at noon, eastern time. With the schedule as it is now, you can expect 4-5 works per day. And finally, we’ll reveal creators on Monday, October 2nd at noon Eastern time.

NOTE TO CREATORS: If your work is part of today’s reveals, please update the posting date of the work to today’s date so it shows up fresh in the AO3 feed.

DAY 1 REVEALS

Something Brewing

[Patrick Brewer/David Rose - T - 13,749]

When David stumbles across Marcy and Clint at the market in Elmdale, he instantly knows their cider would be a huge hit at the store. Wanting him to get a better sense of their business, they invite him along to an evening event at the cidery where he spots the man playing live music on the stage. Cute, good voice, but not what David's here for...

-

What more could he ask?

[Patrick Brewer/David Rose - G - 4,246]

David Rose is avoiding him after their first meeting at Ray’s and he doesn’t know why. He hopes planting the new community garden next to his store will give him a second chance to make a better impression.

-

crossed words and open hearts

[Patrick Brewer/David Rose, Stevie Budd/Ruth Clancy - E - 2,568]

Five times David needs help with a crossword puzzle and one time he doesn't.

-

Be Not Afraid

[Patrick Brewer - G - 611]

Patrick has a favorite hymn which he turns to for comfort.

[mammameesh]

Gold

@schittscreekdrabblechallenge

"For your troubles." Stevie hands Antonio a bag of gold when they are ready to leave. "My lady, I could never! Having royalty in my house is its own reward!" Stevie rolls her eyes. "Okay. Well, how about selling us some of your pineapples." "And some of that flatbread? It will be good for traveling!" Ruth adds on. So the ladies' carriage gets loaded down with pineapples and breads of all shape and sizes. "Goodness. Was it that much gold?" Stevie wonders. Ruth pats the spot next to her. "It's okay, my lady. We'll spread the wealth as we travel."

[farm-witches-fic-recs]

Greetings, friends!

April showers not only brought May flowers on the farm, but also our allergies and a small incident with some broom restringing and a few cats that we’d rather not talk about. 

But! Now we are sharing a few of our faves in hopes that you will enjoy them as well as do some reading and scrolling this weekend. As always, be sure to leave the creators some love!

------------------------------------------

Dimples (@smallumbrella369​) “This fic is a short, sexy peek into David and Patrick’s night at Stevie’s. David discovers Patrick’s lower back dimples and thinks about being happy. Sweet and Spicy.” 

A moment to ourselves (@lizzie-bennetdarcy​) **ART**  “The love and joy in this perfect piece of fan art is so, so real.”

A test of time (houdini74/@mostlyinthemorning​) “This deep-cut has it all. Romance, time travel, intrigue, Alexis being a boss babe, Stevie trying to get idiots to communicate. We highly recommend you go on this adventure!”

Worlds apart (@blackandwhiteandrose​) “We see David going home to where Patrick grew up in lots of great fics, but what about Patrick getting to see where David was "raised"?  There's so many big, beautiful feelings in this thoughtful fic.”

Your secret’s safe with me (@stereopticons​)  “Stevie planning a surprise party for her girlfriend is wonderful on its own, but getting David involved just makes this  fun fic even sweeter and funnier.”

[russnightlife]

For those who need it: a full list of every name in Toast of London. Credit here:

Full list of character names from the Toast of London Universe:

Steven Toast

Jane Plough

Ray Purchase

Kenton Schweppes

Ed Hauser Black

Goodhouse

Cliff Promise

Clem Fandango

Kikini Bamalam

Beezuz Fafoon

Susan Random

Jemima Gina

Kika Brite

Acker Herron

Greta Cargo

Royce Coolidge

Mr Fasili

Ellen Toast

Mick Carriage

Howard Bugawitz

Martin Aynuss

Senna Poddington

Ricky Seasack

Derek Sibling

Danny Bear

Portia De Coogan

Thomas Ledger

Strawberry Wrathbone

Lord Fotheringham

Toby Hopkinson-Finch

Blair Toast

Commander Scott Gorham

Russel House

Chris Bread

Roy Highnock

Sookie Houseboat

Brooke Hooberman

Yvonne Wryly

Kate Kahn

Hamilton Meathouse

Poshdong Mingemuncher

Nick Swivney

Wendy Nook

Linda Praise

Warren Organ

Thumper

Lola

Paige

Ruby

Norris Flipjack

Duncan Clench

Bob Fennison

Mr. Cockatip

Ken Suggestion

Penny Traitor

Dennis Thwaits

Betty Pimples

Axel Jacklin

Basil Jet

Parker Pipe

Kerry Hammersnag

Sterling Porridge

Max Gland

Lindy Makehouse

Colin Skittles

Jackie Paper

Honeysuckle

Francis Bacon

Lorna Wynde

Una Length

Rob Continental

Sue Pressure

Peggy Plywood

Scott Chesnut

Penvelope

Rupert Howser Black

Col. Gonville Toast

Clancy Moped

Vic Titball

Pookie Hook

Bob Monkhouse

Larry Muggins

Dennis Fog

Derek Bildings

Shane Fulorgy

Frank Zammer

Ormand Sacker

Varity Map

Bill Purchase

Tony Excalibur

Champion House

Cocker Boo

Michael Prance

Church Weaver

Heathcote Pursuit

Kay Tightneck

Iqbal Achieve

Basil Watchfair

Nan Slack

Peanut Whistle

Dick Weerdly

Sal Commotion

Giuseppe Race

Howard Blackcap

Daz Klondike

Kai

Sola Mirrornek

Sue Pepkins

Neil Doobla-Decca

Des Wigwam

Dr Harold Shitman

Les Tipi

Chris Marquee

Rob Scouthut

Russ Nightlife

Kenny Ethnic

Hercule Razamataz

Ray Sober

Romley Compton

Dwight Difference

Billy Tarzana

Nina Armenian

Edward Fox

Shepherd Jerbîl

Professor Map

Sonny Sam Disco

Weech Beacon

Liberty Jerbil

Ben Egyptian

Jennifyer Madraass

Snorky

Will Willis

Phyllis Willis

Carmen

Richard Chickentoss

Hoop Kaaak

Ms Wisehunt

Mrs Greenflash

Bellender Bojangles

Barney

Hayley

Blondie

Gypsy

Old Timer Bill

Wildcat Lil

Doc Brown

Rusty Halloween

Agent Saucepan

Sorry Johnson

Wallace

Kelsey Perfume

Frank Succession

Tycoon Lancaster

Jesus Bond

August Burdock

Clint Legal

Tony Fabrizio

Hawk Fahrenheit

Mews Frumpty

Frank Forfolk

Chelsea Bladdersby

Oswald Mosley

Kate Lethargy

Fancy Alexander

Dinky Critenbers

Pig Shovely

Billy Stylish

Sir Norman Brocktight

Basil Stillborn

Kimberly Banana

DI Leonard Chaffich

Una Stubbs

Surely Residue

Warren Organ

Hissy Oversight

Ms. Crawshaft

Merrody Ferrybank

Allan Chance

Doug Birka

Martin Shore

Lolly Badcock

Jill Quear

Vigo Typhoon

Danny Laroux

Cool Black

S’en hammerstad

Gerald Selfish

Peter Nose

David Geurring

Haneth khorishi

Baz Ravish

Enty Strepsils

Comma Dora Green

Vaginta Staples

Aalan Aadams

Harvey Motel

Peter Thatchelwaite

Ryslip Tyres Dot Com

Donald Suckling

Stuart Pringle

Susan Bench

Cliff Stalways

Billy Sprayman

Trevor McGuelish

Earnest Gangly

Sydney Shipton

Barry Bouffant

Drayton Curfew

Septum Crowbar

Dick Circus

Liz Pulp

Rob Darby

Vanessa Fence

Vince Kendal

Mac Darby

Sally Joint

Welk Ashby

Maggie Gail

David Hammod

Leo Seer

Kit Blackcheek

Jackie Kak

Howard Tissue

Albert Eichborn

Peter Swaff

Rob Bonnet

Perry Bluehouse

Lee Bacon

Connie Sheik

Cliff Bonanza

Rula Bingo

Oliver Whasson

Watkins Winchester

Warwick Kineer

Ruth Lingum

Adam Haalal

Lionel Harshmaker

Gary the Plumber

Royce

[starcanwrecked-confessions]

peter is a clikkie. his favorite song(s) from them is trees in my heart + his fav album is scaled & icy

alsoalsoalso ruth is a clikkie!!! her fav songs from them are we don't believe what's on tv and next semester+++ fav album is clancy

the nerds + steph had a sleepover just to stay up and listen to clancy when it came out

steph is a huge tøp fan i think she likes the old albums like regional at best and vessel ++ i also think her fav song is trees

i will be sharing more music headcanons (mostly artists i like, el o ell)

~~~