#this was basically made for the reason that I was awake at 3am and that sometimes our sessions end up a month apart

[ln4madness]

TROUBLE SLEEPING? - LN4

summary: you can’t fall asleep next to lando who is dead asleep😴😴😴

warnings: none, pure fluff

a/n: tell me how is it june alr?!?! also why do i have to go to school in june wtf?? (it’s because i’m graduating and have exams) also i cannot fall asleep at a reasonable time like once the clock hits 23:59 on may 31st my sleep schedule changes to sleeping from 3am - noon. anyways enjoy the fic and hopefully you can fall asleep before 3am on a school night😐

-

You had gone to bed hours ago, but still hadn’t fallen asleep. Meanwhile little Lando Norris here had been dead asleep for about 4 hours now. The clock read “2:38am” in bright red numbers.

You had absolutely no idea why you couldn’t fall asleep. Usually you’re in bed sleeping by 22:00 or 23:00, except now, being wide awake at 2am.

You decided to go to the kitchen to get a glass of water, maybe that would help you sleep. You had to wiggle out of Landos arms that were tightly wrapped around your torso, trying your best to not wake him up.

You made your way to the kitchen and turned on the lights. You got a glass out of the kitchen cabinet and filled it with water. As you were leaning on the kitchen counter you saw a really sleepy Lando enter the kitchen.

“Shit did i wake you up? i’m sorry.” You said. “Why are you not in bed?” Lando asked you, his voice raspy and still sounding like he was asleep. “Can’t sleep. Decided to get a glass of water.” You reply.

Lando makes his way over to your and wraps his arms around your waist, pulling you in a little and putting his head in the crook of your neck. His warm body against yours feeling nice. “Come to bed, we’ll cuddle and then you’ll fall asleep.” Lando said softly. “Alright” you replied and kissed the top of his head.

-

You were now in bed, your limbs tangled together with Landos. You were getting sleepier and sleepier every second.

You eventually dozed off to sleep, cuddled against Lando, your head in the crook of his neck, arms wrapped around his body as his were wrapped around yours, holding you tight against himself.

“Goodnight, sweetheart, i love you”

“Goodnight, baby, i love you too” you replied to Lando and fell asleep.

-

a/n: i know this is really short but it’s something at least! i’m probably gonna focus on writing more but shorter fanfics seeing as i still have to go to school and i still have one exam left (math😨😀) and in a week i leave for vacation and then i graduate and go to camp and then ill have to work😨😨😨 so basically im gonna be busy all summer but don’t worry I WILL WRITE I PROMISE!!!!

[gottagetback2u]

✰ stray kids as uni bfs!

warnings: mentions of food, too much boyfriend material, cause of death: uni!seungmin, inconsistent use of correct spelling

welcome to my first post! <3

-✰bang chan

uni!bangchan definitely… struggles :’) he stays awake till 2-3am every night, either doing homework or procrastinating and making music. thank god his roommate basically lives with their partner, because u get to stay in his dorm with him during these early mornings, urging him to stay on task so he can sleep.

u guys met at the gym!!! u were trying to get back into exercising after the spring break and he saw u on the treadmill. literally hearts in his eyes. like the shy guy he is, he waited until u were almost out of the door before asking “do u go to the uni around here?”

let’s just say he was giggling and kicking his feet when u offered ur number to him <3

bang chan credits u for every completed assignment! he loves that u are so willing to help him, even if he is embarrassed to ask sometimes. (it goes like, “babe.. ugh i’m so sorry but what the fuck does he mean by this?”)

he will get u breakfast from the campus cafe before all of ur morning classes. he says it’s his job as a boyfriend, even if he only got four hours of sleep! (one time he slept in and got u lunch AND dinner to make up for it)

-✰lee know

lee know is an interesting student to say the least. his electives are all “art 101” and “basket weaving” because those are the ‘easy’ classes (sadly, no college class is easy) though, surprisingly, he is very interested in his major classes! studious student.

his go-to look is glasses with a comfy hoodie and sweatpants. when u see him on campus u can’t help but stare. comfy bf material.

u guys always seemed to cross paths at the off campus grocery store! u happen to be picking up comfort snacks after crying ur eyes out due to stress :( he strolled down the same aisle as u, quickly recognizing the university hoodie u had on, staring longingly at what oreo flavor to choose with fresh tears in ur eyes.

“i like the java chip ones :)” after he saw ur tears, he bought them for u.

ur dates consist of: trudging along campus to classes together, movie nights with snacks in the oh so comfy twin sized dorm bed, and grocery store runs! he also loves to do sheet masks together! (just don’t tell anyone how soft he is for u)

studies come second to him. u come first <3

-✰changbin

a jock but not in the aggressive type way. he just wants to lift and pass his classes. (which he always does! nothing below a B- for binnie)

he is good with in-class work! whipping out assignments while the teacher is talking about the subject is light work for him. but homework… alone in his dorm…. his kryptonite. for some reason focusing is so hard in that situation!

when u first heard him speak in economics class, u didn’t expect him to be so sweet?? u sat a couple rows back, so good thing he couldn’t see ur constant staring. his smile, his biceps, his too-tight shirts, his everything.

group projects are ur guys’ weakness because you somehow always get put together. (not that u mind!) in ur third group project this semester, he bit the bullet and asked u out! he was so nervous that he made a whole google slide saying “will u go out with me?” he asked han to decorate it lol.

studying together is no easy task. ur talking about currency then suddenly in a sweet make out sesh! he said he couldn’t handle the “sweet” looks u were giving him.

really soft boyfie !

-✰hyunjin

my art student. what else would he major in?

you guys actually met in starbucks on campus! hyunjin tries to do essays in a cafe setting to “stay focused” (he really just wants to be aesthetic).

you work as a barista, and after taking his order, he couldn’t take his eyes off of u for the 2 hours he was there. he ended up sketching u instead of write his essay! shockingly, he was able to muster up the courage to at least ask ur major before he left (aka, rushed out and ran into the door).

you guys are the sickly sweet couple everyone sees on campus. u are always together!!! hyunjin wants nothing to separate ur hand from his >:(

of course, when he has freedom to choose for his big projects in his art classes, he always chooses something that reminds him of you. he doesn’t like painting portraits that much, so he will choose to paint ur favorite flowers, your first date scene, your hand holding his… yeah, he’s that type of boyfriend :’)

he despises his required classes, like english and math. he doesn’t understand it like he understands art, so he needs ur support!! please run ur fingers thru his hair when he’s whining about his weekly reading!

he loves ur relationship more than anything <3 he’s so happy he can spend his college years with u

-✰han

oh boy. how do we even start this.

i think he tries his best. he really does! he doesn’t want to be one of the few in his class failing, but he just doesn’t really grip onto learning the required subjects like english.

this is how u two met! u work for the university as a tutor, and han was required tutoring for english or else he would get dropped from the class :( he showed up to the tutoring session in an empty lobby in the main campus building, and as soon as he laid eyes on u, he cursed himself. he was supposed to be learning, how can he do that when he has the prettiest person in front of him!! :’(

even outside of ur sessions u help him all the time! he appreciates ur help so much, and of course he doesn’t want his partner to have to help him with his work 24/7, but u don’t mind at all.

his schedule is chaotic. wake up, go to class, go by the convenience store to get both of u snacks, come back to UR dorm, nap in UR bed, wake up when u get back from classes, walk around campus together, get dinner in the dining hall, then fall asleep at HIS dorm.

he always praises himself for choosing to live in a quad with his own room and praises u for working for the university so u get ur own dorm. “it’s like we knew we were going to date!”

he always shows his love and appreciation. power college couple <3

-✰felix

felix has the time of his life in college. he loves being independent, doing something new, and just taking it all in.

that’s why he decided to be ambitious his freshman year; getting a job right away at the campus cafe, and also continuing his hobby of dance by taking a freestyle dance elective!

u were also taking the elective class to try and get more in to ur passion for dance. u never felt too confident in ur skills, so what better way to improve than in a class with others that were learning too!

when felix walked in the room the first day of class, looking all professional in his beanie, oversized sweatpants and a plain t-shirt, u were immediately attracted… but also intimidated!! he must be so good (>:d) u guys actually got put as partners for ice breakers, then a partner project, then a mid-term project, realizing how genuine and sweet he is!!

let’s just say,, things got a lil close for ur projects. flirting was a given around him and kissing, definitely happened.

and even though his excitement for college was a 100! his grades… struggled to reflect that :( like others, college is hard to grasp sometimes!! u continued to help him and remind him that everyone is having a hard time too <3

another sickly sweet couple. he just can’t pry himself away from u!

-✰seungmin

i kinda feel like seungmin is like,, the perfect fit for uni boyfriend? he just gives off those vibes to me so much. (yes i am seungmin biased haha)

does he have all 100% in his classes? yes! does he procrastinate? hell yes…..that’s all he does. to try and help his problem, he wants to study with u! he thinks that this will help him focus more bc silence is always comfortable between u two. but it just ends up him playing some game and u watching, messing him up every time he’s close to passing the level.

if you guys have an in-person class together, he wants needs to sit by u. he doesn’t find it right that u don’t want to sit next to ur own boyfriend. how dare u actually want to listen to ur professor instead of engage in snarky side conversation the whole time >:(

he loves walking around campus late at night. not like, 2am but more like 10pm lol (cuz besides staying up for hw, i feel seungmin is an avid sleeper). after ur night class, he will meet u by ur dorm building and walk around, hands linked the whole time. this is the time where he’s affectionate and loves to talk about ur relationship aww!! it’s conversation like “i remember the first time i held ur hand”, and “we should have another takeout homework date in the library soon”.

i could literally go on and on about uni!seungmin bc it’s a perfect match ahh.

-✰i.n

high school classmates to college classmates! it might have been handy to know someone going into college…. if u and jeongin even knew who each other were.

“yang jeongin? he was in my homeroom? uhh-“

i.n thought that he didn’t need help going thru his first year. he wanted to be independent and make friends on his own >:( butttt with each passing day, adjusting to new classes and even his roommate moving out, he couldn’t even manage to talk to someone new for more than a minute.

u finally recognized him when u saw his academy hoodie he was wearing one day! u rushed to reach him before he entered the classroom, and when u two made eye contact… god jeongin thought the world stopped.

from then, u guys slowly started seeing each other more, than exchanging numbers, then hanging out! ur hangouts usually consisted of studying, but it always ended up in doing to the dining hall and eating together, staying in their right until it closed.

let’s just say, u both struggled in the homework department. but quizzes?? yang jeongin is, surprisingly, an academic weapon.

he loves quality time with u. staying up late, just being in each other arms and talking about nothing.

he will also most definitely require u to watch old minecraft videos with him. quality time right! :)

masterlist!

[uraverageimp]

Ok, so uhm, finally finished!

I got lazy with the design lmao- (and also got too lazy to finish the rest of the chain)

I'm proud of the eyes tho, so pritti!! :3 ♡♡☆

ok anyways-

So In this AU, Adam was a fallen Angel (was fallen before exterminations exists) bc ????? I don't know the reason, this was just a poorly thought of AU that came to me like a vision when I was tired, barely awake and sleep deprived at 3AM. Idk abt that but I'm sure I'll come up with a good reason maybe in about 4 months or so- anyways, back on track.

After his fall from grace, he gets desperate to get back on his feet, so he makes a deal with this woman who let's call B (cuz she's a bitc-) and B owns a talent agency and Adam is pretty good with the guitar so she offers to be his manager in exchange for his soul (I think that's how it works? Idrk and Idrc abt logistics, this is just a silly AU I made) and Adam accepts her offer and starts working as a singer/guitarist in a band with 3 other dudes called "__". (I'm trying to come up with a clever name but nothing seems to be going on in this mind of mine. Pls help)

He gets popular and is pretty much well known. He sleeps around a lot (he has extreme hypersexuality) has a terrible alcohol, cigarette and drug addiction, is depressed, has severe anxiety and PTSD, abandonment issues, dependent, trauma, etc... all those good character ingredients that makes them much more flavorful.

His relationship with B is an open one but B can get very possessive at times. B has sharp nails, she would sometimes grab Adam very hard that it scratches him and during sex would scratch him that results to him bleeding.. a lot.. everywhere- (he has many scars from B and SH). During fights, B would always bring up the fact that if it weren't for her, taking him in, giving him a job. He would still have been on the streets and/or dead by now (which is true) so Adam's basically powerless and indebted to her. And ig that's all that i could think of saying for now, I'm pretty sure i had a lot more to say but I think i lost it somewhere.. I swear I just put it here... ah- anyways-

Conclusion: B is a gaslighting, manipulative, lying narcissistic bitch.

And Adam has 10+ mental illnesses/issues and a shit load of trauma that not even therapy can fix

TL;DR: Adam is a rockstar and is in a deal he can't escape. He's also in an abusive relationship with the woman holding his soul/his manager. :3 (He also has a shit ton of trauma)

Uhm I'm very bad at explaining so sorry if you don't understand it much 😭

Also, sorry if the color coding is annoying, i got carried away TT _ TT

[theotherbuckley]

WIP Wednesday

Tagged by: @wikiangela @fortheloveofbuddie @disasterbuckdiaz @wildlife4life 💖💖

Okay so I’m mad because I just woke up to all these tags for WIP Wednesday only to realise it’s actually Thursday for me because time zones. Actually I feel like that should be a good thing it means it’s closer to the end of the week. Damn ignore my ramblings 😭.

So I haven’t had time to write any more Buck running fic stuff because uni has been crazy and I’m exhausted. But,, here’s some of a different fic which I have actually posted snippets before. It’s basically a depressing fic set in s5 when Maddie, Chim, and Eddie have left. I’ve written quite a lot of this fic a while ago but I’m not entirely happy with it. Alas, here it is.

Eddie gets shot on a Thursday. In broad daylight, and Buck is right there. And all he can do is watch. Eddie gets shot on a Thursday and Buck thinks that’s the moment it all started— when everything got bad again.

Because Eddie gets shot and Buck just stands there, frozen. With his blood splattered on his shirt, on his face, in his mouth. There is just something so wrong, he thinks, with knowing what his best friend’s blood tastes like before he even knows what his lips taste like, what his— It’s just all wrong.

Maybe it started before that, when he found out the truth about his entire existence. That he was just nobody. Just spare parts, created for a child that his parents might’ve actually loved. That he couldn’t even do the one thing he was made for; couldn’t even save his own brother.

It’s like his life finally made sense; why he was so screwed up. He was defective parts that nobody ever really wanted, just a means to an end, and he had failed at even that. So maybe it was then that things started getting bad again.

Or maybe it was the lawsuit, when nobody could even look him in the eye. Maybe it was when Eddie was yelling at him. You’re exhausting, you’re exhausting, you’re exhausting.

Maybe it was the tsunami, where he lost Christopher. Sometimes he still wakes up screaming his name.

Or maybe it’s just that everyone is leaving. Again.

But no, he thinks, it was the shooting where everything just started crashing right back down.

Because Eddie was shot on a Thursday.

And now it’s months later and Buck still lies awake at 3am because he’s back there and he’s frozen and he’s watching his— Eddie get shot, 6 feet in front of him, and he’s just there and why wasn’t it him?

Why wasn’t it him?

Every time he closes his eyes it's all just red. Every time he closes his eyes he’s stuck watching as his best friend bleeds out on the road whilst he’s pushed to the ground by Captain Mehta and all he can do is just stare.

And Eddie’s reaching out to him, and people are screaming, he thinks, but for some reason it's all just so quiet. And he can’t do anything.

Except in his dreams Buck never does roll under the fire truck. He can’t move, can’t do anything except watch Eddie die.

And all he can think is why wasn’t it him.

Tagging: @honestlydarkprincess @eddiebabygirldiaz @eddiediaztho @jesuisici33 @your-catfish-friend @ladydorian05 @jeeyuns @bucksbirthmark @giddyupbuck @eowon @elvensorceress @watchyourbuck @housewifebuck @thewolvesof1998 @king-buckley @rainbow-nerdss @cal-daisies-and-briars <3 also anyone else who I missed or anyone who wants to share.

[ruminate88]

Trauma Bonding and Love Bombing in online relationships:

A reason you will stay with someone so long even when they keep hurting you is for those “crumbs of affection” they have you hooked on. Also, the love bombing is nooooooo joke 🥺❤️‍🩹 the way they make you feel seen, empowered and super intimately close!!!

Well the Christmas I spent with my ex Andrew was an awful awful day 😭 FIRST, he doesn’t text me alll day nor did he text me the night before. Just ignored me. So, I was already sad and disappointed. THEN Christmas night, was about 10pm or so. Was really late and Christmas was basically over. I FINALLY got a “merry Christmas” text but I was upset with him. I was basically sad cuz Christmas is my favorite holiday and I was excited to spend it with my “boyfriend” but where was he???????

When he asked how my Christmas was, I told him I was sad he didn’t text me alll day … That was when Andrew dropped a bomb on me and proceeded to say to me, “Why do you love me?? You deserve so much better than me…” ugggh AND he said he was “unworthy” of me and will never be good enough for me 💔💔

I thought in that moment Andrew was breaking up with me and he had me shaking and crying. Tears falling down onto my phone as he texted me “You are too good for me.” 💔 (I didn’t realize he possibly had other girlfriend’s that’s why he’s saying what he’s saying) but I’m sooooooo hurt thinking he’s ending our relationship on Christmas Day and I felt that he was being a jerk in that moment. I asked him why he is choosing Christmas day to break up with me… wow Andrew came back with “I am not breaking up with you! I just don’t understand why you love me… I’m never gonna be good enough for you.” 💔

Andrew had me confused and delusional! I asked him why he believed he wasn’t worthy of me and where did it come from, was it something I did or said to him????? He praised me and said what a “sweet and precious girl” I was that he doesn’t think he’s a good enough person as me… SOOO I praised him back and promised him he was everything to me and I wanted him no matter what… I didn’t understand him or the situation. I was completely in the dark BUT I was shook up. Christmas Day really rocked me and it made me uneasy but why?? NEW YEARS EVE, he was a changed man… he told me “I love you” and “I miss you.” Weird…. What about Christmas Day???

Then in January, wow!!! He’s literally the perfect boyfriend. I would wake up to selfies of him in the bathtub with a bed head and also a text too telling me good morning and he would Snapchat me during his classes and just text and Snapchat me all day long…. He was soooooo flirty and affectionate. Constant affection and love. Telling me he wished I was there with him at school (which is what got me trying to find a way to visit him on campus) uggggh Andrew was so present during that time and made me feel very VERY wanted by him!! I was on cloud nine at the change in our relationship. Andrew had never been so close before like this. I actually started to believe I was falling in love with him 😳���😢❤️‍🩹❤️‍🩹❤️‍🩹 Was as if “Christmas day” was a thing in the past and almost as if it never happened. Andrew gave me hope for a bright future and a great new relationship ❤️‍🩹❤️‍🩹❤️‍🩹

however, by v-day, he’s acting weird again annnnnnnd played video games the whole night!!! Said he needed “time to himself” and sorta flirted with me some on Snapchat off and on but then ignored me the rest of the night and I stayed awake till 3am disappointed and confused why he stopped responding to me. 😣 I started to cry scared I’m losing him cuz why was he so distant on the most romantic day of the year?? Then when I woke up, he was already texting me good morning and asked how I slept but when I told I waited up for his text, HE CLAIMED he was up all night long with an upset stomach….. idk I felt in that moment he was being dishonest cuz why did you stop texting me if you were up the whole night??? Why didn’t you tell me you felt sick??

idk something inside of me just wasn’t sure what to believe or think of Andrew. I felt I loved him but there was always fog and something nagging at me deep down. Especially after v-day, he wasn’t the perfect boyfriend anymore. Things shifted between us and often he would ignore me 2/3 days at a time or take hours to text me back and by March, his responses were short, dry and took hours to come. I confronted him constantly about his “distance” from me and his excuses were always how busy he was in college but when I would try to break up with him, he would get defensive and promise to spend more time with me and open up more to me about himself and his personal life but he never changed ❤️‍🩹

Andrew would ignore me and even there was times he was irritated or stressed towards me. It got worse towards the end of the relationship. Yet once in a blue moon though, he would be affectionate again and make me feel close to him again. Also the days he would ignore me, I did not feel comfortable to text him. I felt I had to give him space but I was super uncomfortable, confused and disappointed ❤️‍🩹 Why did he keep disappearing for days?? He wouldn’t even update his social media (unless he just had me blocked from being able to see some post) I had the horrible gut feelings he had other girlfriends and would stalk his Facebook religiously trying to make sense of him. Also he continually said “I am unworthy of you” all the time but could never explain to me why he always felt that way…. (Cheating and lying)

So yeah, you don’t know what to believe and you’re torn because they seem capable of being close to you and showing you affectionate yet you can’t ignore the fog, the emotional distance and the times they were irritated and almost seemed angry with you for no reason. They get worse until you break up with them. Andrew continued to act irritated and bothered. I felt every time I texted him that he was upset at me like he didn’t even wanna talk to me yet he would NOT break up with me… 😢💔 I was miserable and confused!!!!!

[greetings-inferiors]

give me manga reccommendations (please)

i think i'm gonna start reading again

i'll start with the classics like tokyo ghoul and black butler and death note because i did already read the first few volumes of them (like 2 yrs ago tho so ill have to reread)

but i want reccommendations :3

Why are you awake at 3am

Anyway my actual recommendations -

Tokyo ghoul and death note are GREAT starting points, two of the best mangas ever written.

The middle of death note does drag a bit, but the ending makes up for it imo. And obviously the first half is some of the best manga ever written. It’s also really short so you may as well, you won’t regret it.

Tokyo ghoul is fantastic, and I really recommend it, ESPECIALLY if you haven’t watched the anime. I wish I read the manga first every day. One of the most beautiful manga I’ve ever read.

I’ve never read black butler but I’ve heard good things.

Now, for my new recommendations (from least to most recommended)

One punch man is gut achingly funny, though I haven’t been keeping up with it

If you get into one piece you won’t run out of entertainment for months, what I’ve read it pretty good and apparently it just keeps getting better.

Spy x family is similarly gut achingly funny, but with a fantastic and gripping plot, especially the newest chapters. It’s one of two mangas I still keep up with for every chapter.

Assassination classroom is hilarious, but heart wrenchingly sad. It’s fantastic. It was my favourite manga for a long time.

And, of course, the big one. Jojo’s bizzare adventure is my favourite manga of all time. It’s one of my favourite pieces of media ever made. There’s genuinely nothing like it. Every part is completely unique, from the martial arts of part 1, to the murder mystery of part 4, to the heists of part 9. I am not kidding when I say that every part is its own genre. It’s also all really good. There’s an argument for all parts to be the best. And the title isn’t lying. In fact, it may be lying by omission. It’s not just bizzare - it’s batshit. In the best possible way. The only problem is that part 1 drags a bit, even though it’s short and imo still really good, so it’s a bit difficult to get into (and you are NOT part skipping, I WILL DISOWN YOU). It’s better than the anime though, so if you’re going to do jojo it’s best to start with the manga (the first three parts are MUCH better as mangas). But once you get to the end of part 1, it’s non stop PEAK. The ending to part 1 is phenomenal. Part 2 has one of the best jojos. Part 3 is a great journey and villain of the week format (along with having the best fight in the entire series). Part 4 is some of the best slice of life I’ve ever read??? Part 5 is basically an anime of the godfather and it’s brilliant. Part 6 is a jailbreak movie, with one of the best endings to anything ever. Part 7 is out of nowhere a literary masterpiece, unironically one of the greatest works of art I’ve ever read (it’s the second highest rated manga of all time for a reason). Part 8 is the pinnacle of Araki as a writer, storyteller, and artist, with a great coming of age (I guess lmao) story. And part 9 is thrilling heists with (imo) the best jojo in the series. The worst part is really fucking good, and the best part is one of the greatest pieces of fiction ever written. I truly cannot recommend it enough. It’s not everyone’s thing - the title is NOT lying, it is weird, at times nonsensical, but never uninteresting. Give it a shot, at least the first 3 parts, they’re not long and if you’re not interested by then you’re not human I think (/j). Once you get to 4 and onwards they keep getting longer, and while they do keep getting better and better, if you’re not into the vibe and stands then you don’t want to read 800 ish chapters more. Oh yeah it is long tbf, the first 3 parts aren’t that long, the next 3 parts are decently sized, then the next 2 alone are longer than a lot of the other manga I’ve recommended lmao. But that’s kinda what happens when you release a manga without any major hiatuses for 30+ years. He only started releasing it monthly in about 2008, so it would be way longer lmao. But the monthly releases are worth it, it instantly gets wayyyyyyy better. You’ll notice it in steel ball run (part 7). And once you’re finished you’ll be able to wait with me for part 9, which has been FANTASTIC so far, and I’m really excited to see more.

The only problem is: how do you read it? Answer: I don’t know. Probably mangadex? Don’t read the official translations, they change almost every name in the series due to copyright (every stand and a lot of characters are named after songs and bands) and it a.) works way less and b.) will make communicating with other jojo fans really difficult. I read the first 8 parts using Jojo’s coloured adventure (though I don’t recommend the coloured manga, the black and white is much better), which was an all in one place fan translation, but I don’t think it exists anymore. I recommend researching which translations are the best and then reading them on mangadex. The thing about it is that the translations I read are only for the newly released chapters I’m pretty sure, so giving you their names wouldn’t help at all. I’ve read a few chapters of phantom blood on mangadex and like… it’s alright. The phrasing is a bit clunky, but overall it’s good.

Some last things: the early parts are a bit sexist at times, the women are still really well written like erina, Lisa Lisa, and suzi q, but the first 3 parts have the odd “beaten by a mere woman!!?” And stuff. But even then there’s a lot of subversions of sexism, like Lisa Lisa being really fucking strong (and even then Araki regrets having not written her as more of a main character). But once you get past part 3 it basically stops. Araki is really progressive with his writing, he wanted part 5 to have a female jojo, but his editors didn’t let him, but once part 6 came around he put his foot down and made half of the cast women (and even then he still was forced to change someone to a man). I’m pretty sure he even said the quote “the fact that readers don’t want the jojo to be a woman is exactly why she needs to be a woman” or something similar. Part 8’s best written character is a woman, and in part 9 we’ve got a weird genderqueer thing (I love dragona but it’s really hard to say whether they’re trans or not lmao. Imo they are, but obviously you shouldn’t assume. At the very least they aren’t out yet. Tho they take hrt. Lmao). Basically what I’m saying is it gets a lot better.

Once you’ve caught up I really recommend the anime! The first 3 parts are a downgrade imo (especially part 3, yikes they completely massacred it. The beginning is great and the last fight is phenomenally done though), but part 4 is an upgrade, especially since they had the hindsight of the villain (Araki originally wanted 3 to be the end, so part 4 didn’t really have a plan for the first half of its story) and could sprinkle him throughout. I haven’t watched 5 or 6 yet, but apparently 5 is fantastic and 6 is really good. But I’d definitely recommend reading it first, and then watching it once you’re obsessed.

If anything you should read the first 6 parts as homework for steel ball run. I love the first 6 parts to death, but 7,8, and 9 are so so so good, and steel ball run is, like, a classic manga. It’s the fucking great gatsby of manga. Or maybe to kill a mockingbird? Idk.

Anyway I’m sorry this is long I really really really like Jojo. Like I said, it’s my favourite manga of all time, and one of my favourite media franchises in general. I could gush about it for hours (and I guess I just did whoops lmao).

Also if you read it you’ll get the jojo references (important)

[duskwingmoth]

2024

Oy

I think it's apparent by now that setting out clear goals for the year just absolutely does not work for me. I will absolutely eat some of the blame this time; a not-insignificant amount of setbacks are my own dissatisfaction with my work, and my penchant for designing success metrics that are patently absurd for one person. If I were better at not falling into those traps, I would be so much more powerful. Alas.

For that reason and more it has been difficult to even manage basic tasks over the past 365 days. I don’t think I've struggled as hard with chores or a workable sleep schedule, or even basic hygiene, let alone art, this much at any other point in my life. I'm tapping this out on my phone at 3am right now; it's too damn early to be awake!

I don't know. I had far and away the most successful post I ever made (even if it is derivative of someone else's work) and I did stick to at least one goal and achieve it. It just doesn't feel right to call that a success.

But I will anyway.

I'm going to be kinder to myself. If for no other reason than beating yourself up is a big waste of time and energy, and I need both if I want us out of this garage before this time next year. I certainly have particular things I want to do, but speaking them into existence doesn't make them happen. I think I kind of took the wrong things from that lesson before; it's probably fine if I do talk about the things I work on so long as I share my work in the process. It's the posturing that's the problem.

And if things get kneecapped by outside forces again, I think I can be better about picking myself back up afterward. Or not just letting myself faceplant into the mud; I probably should have had a backup ready BEFORE deleting my bandcamp page, and first order of business is having that ready. I can probably get that done today. No need to do anything extra for it like I had convinced myself previously. (EDIT: go shrek it out it's my oldest stuff!)

After that... who knows? I'll just make stuff. Not making stuff sucks and is bad for you. Self-harm-b-gone. The boog is alive, and she is ready to keep circling the light.

I'll make 2024 better for me. I hope it's better for everyone.

[tolerateit]

Dream time!! I was supposed to meet up with someone at like midnight but the sun was still fully out for some reason. And on the way to them, I passed by this one bag and accessories store that I couldn't resist not checking out, so I went inside. Something inside me snapped and I bought a bunch of things, spending like $500. I remember two of the things I bought: an accessory that was made out of denim, that would go over the strap of your bag where you put your arm or shoulder on the strap, to make it more comfortable. I'm pretty sure this thing doesn't exist irl and my brain just made it up because I've been annoyed at my bag strap constantly sliding off my shoulder irl. The other thing was a coin purse but it was more decorative and absolutely gigantic, like actual bag sized. So I got the things, left the store, turned the corner and found another super cute store that sold the most gorgeous stationery. I went inside to see what they had and liked so many things, I was about to spend $500 more and literally go broke. Suddenly I realized that only the coin purse from store 1 was actually useful, the other stuff is cute but I'd never realistically use any of it, so I ran back to return all the other things I bought from there, so I'd be able to spend some money at store 2 (I had my eye on a sparkly galaxy-themed notebook, but you could actually stick your hand inside the cover and touch the galaxy. How 2015 of me lmao). By the time I got all the notepads and notebooks, it was already like 3am, and I was supposed to be back home as my parents would be waiting up, and I wasn't allowed to be out that late. So my genius idea was to cancel with whoever I was supposed to meet with, despite my being like three hours late, and just head back home where I would tell my parents I finished early with the meeting.

Okay I just googled it and apparently strap protectors ARE A THING?!

It looked like this except it was blue denim and I had some random quotes printed on it in pink and white fonts(idk what my brain was on, awake, the design is atrocious): https://www.moxordesign.com/cdn/shop/products/MX-StrapPad-20190514-DSC09583_1445x.jpg?v=1645306669

Basically these colors but instead of flowers that looks pretty, it was just random quotes like live laugh love, absolutely awful: https://i.ebayimg.com/images/g/b-gAAOSw82tlGbSl/s-l1600.jpg

ASDKDJSBSJEJ this is straight out of 2014!! Also this sounds like such a fun dean like let's go shopping and get the most random stuff at midnight without spending anything irl 😭

[thewildmother]

previously on wrath of the lich king

(session #whoknows i just started this thing so i could come back to refresh my memory before sessions ((p.s. this is a homebrew dnd campaign set in azeroth so things might be weird, don’t @ me)))

with Leva’lyn, the eladrin necromancy wizard; Lucius Hellscar, the human oath paladin; Raksha, the tiefling trickster cleric; & Ulryn, the night elf old one warlock (controlled by me for the last two sessions due to scheduling problems)

TL:DR; the party heads to Stormglen to help defend it from the hordes of undead (they’re partly responsible for) and werewolves attacking it, Lucius unlocks the admin permissions on his Hellscar Tome, Leva’lyn discovers her ability to raise undead is useless in the area, and the party is successful in their attempt to Hallow the entirety of the village.

The party decides to make use of their wizard’s ability to cast the Sending spell and contact an old acquaintance, Two-Shot Turner, a man they’d previously met in Stormglen defending the village from the undead with a company of Hellscars under his command 

Hellscars = a faction of people who pledged themselves to the name so that they could fight the undead together, have been for a long time. They’ve been in Stormglen for almost the entirety of its time suffering under these attacks. Most of these Hellscars are paladins, though there are a mix of other classes and things within. Hellscar Tome = a tome that empowers a paladin’s auras, and [after being unlocked] to a member of The New Dawn can detail another Hellscar’s name, parents’ and siblings’ names and life status.

Some number of sessions previous to this; Leva’lyn and Ulryn were conscripted into the Hellscars after learning that doing so would empower Lucius’s abilities. The 3 of them (along with others whose names could not be accessed at the time) were under the special title of The New Dawn, a group of people supposed to create the first Council after defeating the undead scourge who would replace the monarchy. 

Oh and when Leva’lyn signed this Tome to join the Hellscars, for a few moments the entire room faded to darkness and stars glittered around them before returning to normal, nbd. After this joining it was revealed that while Leva’lyn could not, Lucius could read Lev’s page within the Hellscar Tome and he learned what she was and who her true parents were -- when he tries to share this information with her, he instead chokes up fire and is silently chided by a burning figure within his mind.

Through her Sending spell, Leva’lyn learns that since the last time the party was in the village, the undead hordes were able to advance on the village because of *** and they are holed up with the remaining survivors inside the village’s tavern/inn.

*** = The party originally were sent to Stormglen by Sylvanas Windrunner, to fulfill a deal between them that she would provide forces to their army against the Lich King if they traveled to the village and rescued one of her val’kyr that had been taken because she held a certain curse within her that could be used. The party finds this val’kyr being drained of blood that is being used to fuel hallow’d runes that ward off the undead -- the party comes to the decision to take the val’kyr, flee the mad scientist trope of a man who’s been using their blood and send a warning to the other’s in the village of what’s to come. (80% sure this warning was lost in the middle of a shopping episode and class swap by Leva’lyn.) That mad scientist informed Two-Shot what happened, etc etc.

After making a to-do list of plans and setting a deadline of when they’d have to leave to meet with Malfurion Stormrage, the party makes their way to Stormglen. At the gates they dispatch a small amount of undead and are greeted by fellow Hellscars who inform them that Two-Shot is on patrol and they don’t know how to reach him. The party heads to the tavern and Leva’lyn makes use of Sending to inform the man that they have arrived and are waiting for him within the tavern.

Two-Shot shows up minutes later and aims his shotgun directly into Lucius’ face and asks for a reason he shouldn’t pull the trigger for what they did. Raksha leaves the tavern to aid the local blacksmith in repairing Hellscar weapons with her Mending, too new to the party to track their following conversations. [After a show of too much posturing and dramatics for Leva’lyn’s taste-] The man finally relents and speaks to them about the state of things, over the next few minutes they establish a plan to clear their path through to the middle of the village to establish a better foothold within. 

During this conversation, Leva’lyn puzzles together that Two-Shot’s mood is more than just having to deal with extra work -- she recalls his daughter had been affected by the same curse of the val’kyr, and states aloud her conclusion that the man’s daughter, Elizabeth, was now the one being used to fuel the hallow’d runes at each barricade in the village. Two-Shot does not deny this and grudges on.

Before the party and Two-Shot part ways for the time being, the man is given time with the Hellscar Tome because Lucius believes he can unlock any withheld access to it. Two-Shot is overheard by Lev cursing and arguing with the sentient imp within the book, and he emerges minutes later with clear signs of crying-- but the book unlocked. 

Lucius and Leva’lyn emerge from the tavern to find Raksha well into the groove of helping the blacksmith repair things for the Hellscars, as well as providing them much needed water. Lucius sits nearby while Leva’lyn enters a nearby tower [newly attached to the tavern] and climbs its steps until she reaches the floor where Elizabeth is being kept, allowed a glimpse behind the glamour placed on her to see that she is nearly skeletal in complexion and “not doing well”. 

Those months ago when the party had been in Stormglen before, Leva’lyn had spent time with Elizabeth and her guardian dragonborn Zereithia. It wasn’t long but she was treated kindly, Elizabeth was a strong-willed woman and Zereithia had then revealed to Leva’lyn her magic had been blocked by a divine power.

Feeling upset and like she owed both Elizabeth and the people of this village something, Leva’lyn returns to her party in a rush and proposes that they Hallow the village so it will be clear of undead (and the hallow’d runes will no longer be necessary). The party agrees.

Out of game -- our DM has just recently introduced to us the new addition of a Heroic Ability he wants to testrun for flavor and reward to a party’s creativity. The party only has access to 1 heroic action, and it will be recharged by future acts of the party working together creatively or... well, heroically? It’s a new thing, it’s all a testrun leave me be. But this Heroic Ability empowers the action being taken when invoked, IE: Turning an attack into an insta-crit to defeat a weakened enemy, expanding the duration of a Teleportation Circle, or the radius of a Fireball. It’s basically the Cinematic version of an action.

In this case the party all agrees to “Cinematic” Hallow the village, with the DM’s permission, so that it will cover the entirety of the village.

Before anything else, Lucius takes a few minutes to sit with his steed and look into the pages he’s unlocked within the Hellscar Tome. Leva’lyn crouches behind him while he does, noting all that they read. 

They discover that The New Dawn consists of 8 people, including themselves, and they are all alive except for one -- Jack Turner, son of Two-Shot and brother to Elizabeth, who is a member as well. They figure this to be the reason Two-Shot was in tears before when he unlocked the Tome for Lucius.

Lucius learns that his true name is not Lucius, and attempts to puzzle out which name he is on this list to no avail. 

Leva’lyn requests they view her page in hopes of getting to see who her birth father is; to Lucius the page reveals the information clearly like any other member of The New Dawn, Leva’lyn only sees darkened pages with glittering stars that enrages her.

Raksha joins the Hellscars after watching Lucius and Leva’lyn read, then uses it to learn the names of her parents before quickly slamming it shut and moving on.

The party sticks with their original plan of clearing a path to further their foothold in the village, but with the addition of stopping when they’ve reached the Stables in the middle of the village so that Raksha can perform her Hallow ritual from there and encompass the village. Lucius requests aid from the Hellscars to cleanse the village, and with a failed Persuasion roll they are given only 2 Hellscars to help them -- a previously discovered paladin who despises tieflings named Dave (not a great relationship with Raksha for obvs reasons), and another perfectly nice paladin named Duncan.

The Hallow ritual will take 12 hours to cast, and after some undead whack-a-mole the party sets up a defense around the Stables while Raksha starts her casting. The party fights numerous waves of zombies, feral werewolves and spectres before realizing they were coming up on their final one. The party sends Duncan to request more aid, knowing that with each wave comes increasingly powerful entities and they may need more bodies -- Duncan does not return to the party, and Leva’lyn uses Sending once more to get in contact with the Hellscar bard, Gerard, who gave them Dave and Duncan in the first place. She requests more men and Gerard responds by saying he will do what he can, but (the ritual seems to be working because) undead are advancing on the village from within the marketplace and the Hellscars are busy defending. Duncan does not return, and instead 2 new Hellscars arrive in time for the final wave. 

It’s during these waves that the party discovers that on these lands, undead cannot be controlled and any feral creature cannot be dominated. This was learned the hard way by Leva’lyn casting a 4th-level Animate Dead, only to have her creations turn on her seconds after being raised.

The final wave consists of many ghosts and one Banshee, that manages to knock the party warlock unconscious. She is quickly healed by Lucius. Leva’lyn recognizes the Banshee as a noblewoman who she had previously met during the party’s first visit to Stormglen; Grenda Lithewood, the epitome of the stuck-up noble, who offered the party a reward if they brought ships for the nobles to escape on. (This deal was declined, having learned the nobles were bullying village folk out of their provisions and homes.)

The Banshee is defeated, and the Hallow ritual is successfully completed without any causalities. ...Well, at least near the Stables. The party decides on the following effects to affect the village: Courage, [Necrotic] Energy Protection, and Everlasting Rest. The party takes a quick group hug to celebrate, and then Raksha declares she needs to go find somewhere to pass out.

& that’s the end of a 3-session quest, with the party leveling up to 10! We hope Duncan found his donuts and didn’t get eaten by a zambo.

[tartagliaxx]

“ 3AM NOODLE RUN ”

━━ ☆ PAIRING: chongyun/reader

━━ ☆ GENRE: fluff

━━ ☆ SUMMARY: technically, you should be rational like the 'adult' you're supposed to be but as someone once said, not everything needs to make sense.

━━ ☆ WARNINGS: established relationship, college!au like... three cursed words... i think

not everything has to make sense.

whether it's about drinking a shot of pure lemonade and not wincing or if it's about laughing at that old sitcom from the 80s that everybody you know hates.... it doesn't matter. sometimes, it's all right to be so peculiar that the human mind could ponder and try to decipher your mysteries and yet, still fail. it's not because of those 'even your flaws are perfect' propaganda nor is it because of those 'not like everyone else' bullshit. rather, it's all right to not make sense because making sense is all that you've known and it gets tiring really quickly. sometimes, it's just nice to let go of inhibitions and live — crazily, merrily, freely, happily. they did say that being young isn't forever so you might as well spend it as best as you know: by living without making any sense that it just makes sense.

it's 3am now and you're still not making any sense but if you did, you would've been sitting on your desk, nightlight on as you attempt to finish your thesis paper's conclusion.

but as we all know, not everything has to make sense.

fishing out your phone from the bundle that has become of your thick comforter, you dialed the number of the one person you knew that would never refuse your sudden bout of misplaced energy. once, twice, thrice. the ringing beats that came from your phone were not something unfamiliar. the call has been made before — far too many times to count now and yet, he never once failed to answer.

just like now.

"hello?"

"hi, chongyun."

you heard him sigh through the phone before he chuckled. "it's late. don't you have an 8am session tomorrow?"

"today," you corrected as you slumped down the wall. "but yes. i do."

"then why are you still up?" his concern was cute and you found yourself smiling as you cuddled your knees closer.

"i was doing my thesis — well, was trying but to no avail..."

"i see... can't sleep?"

"nah... i'm used to being wide-awake at this hour. can't bring myself to sleep properly anymore. and you?"

"same thing."

this conversation was also familiar. it's happened every single time and no matter how you tried to switch it up, it always revolves around a paper needing to be passed sometime soon and the ever-present grip of insomnia on your necks. now, it's more of a form of courtesy — small talk is what they call it but in your mind, it doubles over as an apology and an invitation.

"wanna go out?"

you sighed in bliss, "that's my line."

"we both saw it coming."

"cute. very cute."

despite the faux irritation that laced your tone, you both knew that the truth couldn't be farther from that. on your face — and on his but you didn't know that — was the biggest, possibly cheesiest grin you have ever mustered. you just had that effect on each other, you supposed. chongyun doesn't comment on the odd decisions that you would definitely regret in the morning while you don't question why he doesn't seem to know how the most basic things worked. he accompanies you and you teach him the wildest of things. it was once just a relationship founded by mutualism but as time went by, unnecessary touches were thrown in and playful jokes and forced piggyback rides home became a part of your midnight routine. even then, your relationship was easy to understand. comfort without any need for an explanation.

"do you want me to pick you up?"

"nah," you threw on an old jumper — ugly in your definition but still something you bought for a reason that also didn't make any sense. "same place?"

"same place."

you whispered a quiet 'see you soon' before you dropped the call, walking to your door with a skip on your steps because who wouldn't? it's kind of romantic — like the modern-day version of sneaking around the palace gardens to rendezvous with your true love but at the same time, it's romantic only because having someone to be with you at the dead of the night doing nothing in particular for no real reason aside from just being with them for a moment longer... that is the most of romance that you could afford to give as a college student struggling to keep up with your workload and the looming finals just around the corner.

sending one final glance to your dorm that looked a little bit drearier than it did a few moments ago, you left without your rationality in your pockets.

the sidewalks were empty. heck, the entire block was silent save for the occasional barks of the stray dogs in the alleyways. it's yet another thing that didn't make any sense. how is it that the same place habited by the same people felt, feels, would always feel as if a different place as soon as the clock strikes three? there was no explanation for the split in reality — for the ambiguous disorientation that came with the warm streetlamps and frenzied stars but a part of you knew that to question is to be ungrateful. the echo of your footsteps and the peace that came so rarely in such a busy place... it was all needed and it's probably one of the many reasons why you keep making spontaneous decisions such as this.

it wasn't as if you didn't enjoy the walk because you did. it's just instinctual to mutter 'finally' as soon as the flickering neon lights of the 24/7 gasoline station came into view. running the few steps remaining, you grinned brightly as you caught sight of a tuft of the skies itself, covered mostly by the hood of your university's sweater.

"hey."

chongyun breathed out before sending you a soft smile, eyes drooping low but holding the small twinkle it holds whenever you meet up like this. "hey."

"so... should we get popsicles?" he hummed in thought before shaking his head and hesitantly accepting your hand with a small blush on his pale skin.

"my throat hurts."

now that's alarming. immediately, your head snapped in his direction, brows furrowed, and about to question his well-being but before you could, he beat you to it.

"i'm fine. just overused it earlier. community service, remember?"

now that he mentioned it, his voice did sound rougher — huskier and a little deeper. clearing your throat, you hoped that chongyun's obliviousness would make a timely appearance. you didn't need him asking you about the sudden rush of heat all along your body or about the way your pulse jumped up with just one thought of him.

"are you feeling well?"

"peachy!" you squeaked out — a little too fast to be considered true but you, yourself, beat him from questioning you any further. "are noodles better?"

"are there... any mild ones?"

right, he can't handle spice. "there are non-spicy ones, i'm sure."

"oh... sounds good, then."

should you do it? fuck it. you reached up to softly pat his head. he's adorable, just like a little puppy still trying to learn how to use its limbs. gods, he's too adorable that you worry for your heart's condition and also for his because chongyun wasn't exactly used to physical affection and even the slightest touches had him going on an overdrive.

"shall we?" you doubt that the small whimper he accidentally let out was an answer to your question but you went with it anyway.

the bell rang as you opened the door to the small convenience store at the corner of the station. sticky floors, buzzing freezers, stray chip packets in the chocolate aisle, and a passive-aggressive cashier. nothing was special about this place but somehow, being there felt right. was it your body's muscle memory, effortlessly navigating around the place to find solace in the energy drinks section, or was it the 'no-one-gives-a-shit' vibe that had set your mind at ease?

it was neither, you decided as soon as chongyun took your interlocked hands to his hoodie's pockets. a bold move but one look at him and you figured that he didn't even know that he did it. going back, something about this empty, easy-to-miss place made it easy to feel as if there were no expectations on you. you could come in with your pajamas just to buy the cheapest beer they had and no one would tell you to fix yourself up. you might even get a sympathetic smile from the attendant if they had a good morning's rest before all of this. a big part of the comfort though, came from the boy beside you who was far too invested in reading through the instant noodle labels. he, too, came in looking like a hot mess — hair tousled from the twisting and turning he did on his bed and his godforsaken fake gucci slides that xingqiu got as a joke. the bigger joke? chongyun likes wearing it, claiming that it's comfortable and that he doesn't care much about appearances.

"which one did you get?"

"this one." he showed you the blue packet and you rose a brow in surprise. "bibim naengmyeon."

"you sure? that's kinda spicy. maybe you should try this instead?" you shook the cream-colored packet, hururuk guksu, a type of ramen proven and tested to be non-spicy. at least, as long as you don't add the chili flavoring.

"it's fine. i'll manage."

you stared at him for a minute longer before relenting with a sigh. "suit yourself."

but just in case, you sneakily threw in a box of milk in the basket.

the kettle on the corner of the store was broken, or so you assumed because it whistled so horrifyingly loud that you couldn't even make out the words to the indie song that played through the scratchy speakers in the backroom. did that stop you from twirling around like an idiot, laughing as chongyun took your photos exactly like those 'aesthetic pinterest girls' you always see on your feed? no. no, it didn't. similarly, it didn't make sense for you to do it, not when your pants were stained by dinner's sauce and your eyes were glossed over from the nth yawn that escaped your lips. he thought otherwise though, and somehow, the way chongyun tipped his head down to hide the fond smile that appeared as he looked through the photos he took was enough to fuel the fire that awakened every single nerve in your body.

"finally! it's ready now... careful, it's cold."

he hummed in reply before gently tugging you out of the store and into the half-assed tent that apparently served as a dining area. gross, you scrunched your face with disapproval. when was the last time they wiped the tables?

"that's a no, right?"

"are you kidding me? of course that's a no! maybe we should've just gotten chips like before."

"well... we're here now."

"you're telling me... is the park still open?"

he paused before he tugged the strings of his hoodie tighter. "don't think so... should we eat home?"

"the noodles would get soggy and — well, cold for mine and not cold for yours."

"what now then?"

it didn't make sense for you to be sitting down on the steps of some random apartment you found but you were there anyway. trapping your drink in between your thighs, the savory aroma of the cup noodles immediately wafted the air. it didn't look very appetizing but it certainly smelled like it did. besides, it certainly looked better than most meals you've had in your cafeteria.

"h-help—"

"huh?" you furrowed your brows, eyes not leaving your food that was starting to look better the more your stirred. "speak up. i can't hear you."

"HELP!"

you jumped up in surprise only to panic as you saw chongyun's terrifyingly red face as he tried to fan his tongue to no avail. "i told you it was spicy!"

"m-milk!"

you missed the stabbing point not once, not twice but thrice and for some reason, your half-asleep form found that very funny.

"hurry!"

"right, right..." you watched as he aggressively sucked on the straw as if his life depended on it, and in a way it was. perhaps you should've warned him earlier but by the time you were enunciating 'slow down,' chongyun was already coughing his lungs out and you attempted to help him out by awkwardly patting his back — maybe a little weaker than what would actually help.

seven minutes and three seconds. that's how long it took before chongyun regathered his wits.

"maybe... i should've listened to you." the sheepish and bashful smile he sent you had you chuckling.

"you should've. do you want to switch? i got a non-spicy one just in case."

not everything has to make sense but you and him together made perfect sense.

━━ ☆ NOTES: sigh... how long until i stop projecting myself and my feelings in my writing?

━━ ☆ SIMILAR WORKS: college!au masterlist

[spencersmagic]

a knife twists at the thought - SR

Prompt: a knife twists at the thought that i should fall short of the mark - Arctic Monkeys

Summary: Spencer is new to this, and the poor boy is terrified

Couple: Fem! Reader x Spencer Reid (i picture season 2/3 Spencer but y’all do you)

Category: angst

Word count: 3086 words

Warnings: general criminal minds stuff, mentions and descriptions of torture, descriptions of loss, HAPPY ENDING!!, my 3am writing, tooth rotting love, uhmm spoilers for Orwell’s 1984 (if anybody hasn’t read it), humiliation, Spencer crying and breaking my heart (lmk if you need anything warned or trigger tagged).

A/N This is very loosely based on 2x15 (VERY LOOSELY). I’m quite proud of this one :)

masterlist // 505 series taglist

*****

They say you never see it coming.

When a tragedy occurs, and someone’s life is turned upside down forever, they never see it coming. It just... hits them. Like an oncoming car ramming into a bystander who was just in the wrong place at the wrong time.

No one has time to prepare. In our time-starved lives, there is no place for such a warning.

One day, you just wake up. And they’re not next to you. They’ve disappeared, leaving the stickiest, most unforgettable parts of themselves behind for others to grieve to: the smell of their shampoo in the pillows they used to share, the seconds just as you wake when you still feel like you have them - only to gain full consciousness and realise they left you behind - even the fucking jars, which never seem to be open because he’s just not there to do it.

And you feel your heart breaking all over again as your soul sticks to the parts that couldn’t be erased with the rest of him as he left. Because you needed him, you had him, and now he’s gone. No warning, no letter, no signs which could’ve helped you foresee such a tragedy, because how could he? He didn’t disappear on purpose.

She doesn’t understand why he's so absent. So unequivocally missing. And the person she would turn to to ask these riddled questions isn’t there to answer. Because he’s gone.

But they’re not there yet.

And she feels so close to that feeling - the helplessness, the pain, the empty cups next to her bed because he always carried them to the sink when she was finished with her tea the mornings of those rare days they got to sleep in. Those days when they had time. She can practically touch, with the tip of her fingertips, the waves of pain that would surge over her if he was gone for one more fucking minute.

She has to remind herself, over and over again, like a mantra. He’s not gone yet.

The “yet” at the end of her mantra just breaks her all over again.

She was always the one to tell Spencer “if you worry before something happens, in case it goes wrong, and then it does, you’ve managed to suffer twice through something painful for absolutely no reason”. It usually worked. Needless to say, she felt like a hypocrite right about now.

Because Spencer is gone. And she doesn’t know how to bring him back.

She knows only to watch the monitor, never once blinking, taking in everything that happened in that damned livestream - every word, every sound, every reference. She can only try to hear anything over the whimpers and sobs her love was letting out as he’s tortured by that man. She can only hear the cracks of his knuckles against Spencers soft skin, the same soft skin she had kissed mere hours ago before telling him to “be careful”. Her own way of saying the three little words the couple was too young to hear. She can only see his lips parting, sobs rumbling out of his body as the unsub abuses his frame over and over again - same lips which had kissed her forehead before telling her “i always am”.

Then again, she isn’t sure if its his voice which is filling her head with painful sounds or if her mind is playing tricks on her, memorising the horrifying vibrations coming from his chest for her to ever consider anything else. She hasn’t stopped hearing him since she turned on that damned computer.

She isn’t sure she’ll ever stop hearing it.

**

As a man of great intellect, Spencer always recurred to knowledge to understand difficult occurrences in his life. Burying himself in textbooks, novels, poems, and even music to understand pain, and himself having a life filled with it, he was an incredibly knowledgeable man.

He knew much. But right now, he only knew one thing.

In Orwells’ 1984, as Winston was being tortured (much like Spencer is right now), Orwell described the following:

“Never, for any reason on earth, could you wish for an increase of pain. Of pain you could only wish one thing: that it should stop. Nothing in the world was so bad as physical pain. In the face of pain there are no heroes, no heroes”.

And, as a man who had acquired most of his intellect by immersing himself in trivial content in the face of pain, he found himself doing the same thing as the unsub hurt him over and over again, each blow seemingly more painful than the last. As his skin bruised, a causality of his abusers torment, he analysed the seemingly logical quote.

It must depend on the person, he was sure. In fact, a number of factors must be taken into consideration at this statement. For starters, Winston lives in a society incapable of any human feelings. There is only dominance, and those who attempt, in vain, to challenge it. Surely, if he had felt happiness, like the one you feel when the first day of spring rolls around, or like the one that creeps up on you as you look into the eyes of your loved one, surely, he would understand that some things can outweigh pain.

Love.

If Spencer’s mind could make sense of what he was feeling right now, he would understand, something he would figure of were he to leave this damned place, that he was thankful to the Gods, were there any, for having the unsub kidnap him and not Y/N.

Winston hadn’t understood emotional pain because emotions weren’t dealt with regularly. They were discouraged. That’s why he believed that there are no heroes in the face of pain. Because he doesn’t understand emotional pain.

He knew he was suffering. He also knew that Y/N was at the other side of the blinking camera suffering more than he could ever imagine.

**

They say emotional pain lasts 12 minutes. Anything one feels after this would be the aftermath of the cause of the pain in question. Pure emotional pain, the one you practically feel in your chest, the one that says “i can’t think, feel or be. not until this feeling dissipates”.

She had learned this from Spencer.

And she wished it were true. As she watched that damned monitor, she wished that all the venom the unsub was spewing at Spencer, all the verbal abuse, was long forgotten. She wished he could only feel the physical pain. Because the mind is incredibly stronger than the body - it could keep him awake, alive, for just enough time for the team to rescue him.

The entire team had huddled around the monitor around her. She was painfully aware that other people were seeing this. Which meant it wasn’t her imagination. It wasn’t another one of those damned dreams she would have when she slept a little too far away from Spencer’s touch.

They had only been together for two months, but his touch was all that could get her to fall asleep.

She jolted as the unsub landed another slap on Spencer’s cheek, swiftly grabbing his hair for him to look into the camera. He had a cut above his right cheek, just where she would kiss him in the mornings, and bruises all over his neck, jaw and left eye.

“Say hi to your team!” he mocked Spencer, chuckling darkly as he moved his almost lifeless body around for the team to watch in horror. Spencer let out a heartbreaking sob, feeling so vulnerable.

“Why don’t we make this interesting?” he jumped, as if he had gotten an idea. The unsub reached behind himself to grab a pistol, clicking off the magazine safety to put one bullet in one of the eight slots, leaving the other seven free. He pointed it at Spencer’s temple.

Her entire body shook the thought of seeing Spencer’s lifeless body, held up only by the ropes and that sick man’s grip around his curls. The same curls she grabbed as she kissed his face when she wanted his attention.

“I’m going to ask you some questions...” he said, voice dripping with sickening sweetness as he turned the roulette, “and if i don’t like your answer i’ll pull the trigger! Let God decide what I do with you. Sounds good?”. He wanted to humiliate Spencer.

However, Spencer made the mistake of not answering him. He was quickly reminded as the barrel of the gun pointed right between his eyes, pulling the trigger, a loud bang! sound expanding through the barn.

“I asked you a question!” he suddenly yelled into Spencer’s face.

“Y-yes, Sir” he whimpered, shaking at the ease at which the man pulled the trigger.

“Good, you’re learning”.

**

She experienced it by bits. Hotch’s hoarse voice. “Talk to me Garcia”. “We’ve got coordinates”. Everybody rushing to the SUVs. Tripping over her own feet on the way to the car. Morgan’s voice. The iPad, which still carried Spencer’s whimpers and the man mocking tone.

“I’ve got your diary, Spence” his sing-song voice didn’t match the disgusting man she was looking at. Nothing made sense.

“And I wanna know why...” he drew out the ‘y’ as he looked for something between the worn pages between his hands.

Of course she knew Spencer owned a diary. But she was mature enough to keep her hands to herself and her eyes on her own pages as he wrote on his, eyebrows creasing as he recalled all which he had experienced during the day. His face would twitch slightly at the memories, both good and bad, as he basically described his day word by word.

“...why did you wait until you were 24 to lose your virginity?” he asked in a clear attempt to humiliate and ridicule Spencer in front of his team.

“I-I didn't-” he could barely finish a word before a sob wrecking through his body at the humiliation, chest rumbling and voice wavering. “I didn’t want to lose it before, i w-wasn’t in a hurry” he rushed out. The man brought the pistol to his own chin, tapping it as he thought. “Hmm... I’m satisfied with your answer. Let’s dig deeper, shall we?” he asked as he went back into the pages.

“ooh! This one is new” that sick bastard was having fun with this, completely unaware that the team was less than 5 minutes away from their location.

“Care to read what you wrote three days ago? Right here” he turned the pages so Spencer could read them, though he was painfully aware of that entry he was talking about. His body shook violently. “P-please. D-don’t ma-make me do t-this” he whimpered, body feeling defeated.

“Wrong answer” the unsub said before pointing a gun at him and pulling the trigger.

A shriek was heard from the iPad. The SUV went silent.

“He’s alive” she whispered, unable to speak up. “He-” she swallowed. “He’s alive. We’re not there, yet” her mantra became a reminder that she hadn’t been quick enough to help him. She had the tools to save him. Every second she had the knowledge to save him and didn’t was another second she remained impotent at the risk of losing the love of her life.

Spencer’s voice spoke from the iPad.

“C-can you at-at leas-st turn off t-the ca-amera?” he said between sobs.

And it hit her.

What hurt him the most wasn’t the memories he had to relieve, but the fact that the rest of the team would have to hear his most intimate thoughts. His deepest secrets.

He could bare the pain. The humiliation? That broke him.

“Aww” the unsub chuckled mockingly, “are you embarrassed?” he said, slouching down to look into his eyes. “Well too fucking bad!” he screamed into his face, spitting with every word he spewed at him. Spencer’s sobs got louder.

“O-okay okay!” Spencer caved, accepting the journal that got shoved into his face.

“Read, pretty boy” the unsub sang. That son of a bitch was having fun.

“We’re two minutes away, Y/N” Hotch said. Maybe it was he sobs, which were barely audible to herself, having accepted them as second nature after all the heartbreak she was experiencing, but Hotch needed her to be okay.

His own heart thumped into his chest, feeling as helpless as he’d ever felt. Seeing a member of his team - someone he was supposed to take care of, someone he was supposed to keep safe - was sobbing as he was physically and emotionally tortured. But he was painfully aware of the feelings Y/N was experiencing. The sheer fear that was running down her veins at the idea of them running out of time.

After a few sobs, Spencer started reading, interrupting himself occasionally with his whimpers:

“It’s been three months. Today, three months, seven hours and forty-six minutes ago, she did what I didn’t have the courage to do. She asked me out. “I’ve been wanting to ask you pretty much since the day i met you” she had said. Those words keep ringing in my head like a beautifully written symphony, intrinsically designed to make me face my deepest fears. Opening my scars one by one, dissecting them and reaching the simple conclusion that i was a coward.

She didn’t say it, but what she meant was “i’ve been waiting for you to do it, but you never did, so i had to”. We wasted time - a time so precious and sacred - because i was a coward.

I’ve never felt like this before. I never understood a love so deep as to move something so stubborn as the human spirit. I’ve read textbook after textbook, and novel after novel, and still I’ve never learned more than with her. But I was a coward. And i wasted her time. I fear that I still am.

A knife twists at the thought that i should fall short of the mark. It’s impossible for me to ever be enough for her”.

Her heart broke at this confession. Even worse at the thought that he wouldn’t’ve told her, instead inhaling fear and exhaling rejection at every breath he took next to her.

“We’re here” she heard Hotch, looking at her. She grabbed a bottle of water and dropped the iPad, not hearing the teams objections at the lack of vest and preparation and ran into the barn.

She isn’t sure if she’ll ever stop hearing his whimpers. As she runs closer, she hears them louder and louder, decorated with sobs and cries, and small, meaningless replies to his abusers’ mocking words.

She kicked the door down, the loud bang booming across the room, only helping in raising Spencer’s sobs as he feared the sound had been the result of a certain trigger being pulled. As she looks at him, she realises just how much pain he’s been put through.

She remembers Orwells words, much like how Spencer had remembered them mere hours ago. And disagrees, wishing over and over, praying to the Gods that she would be the victim of such atrocious abuse. She wished she could take his pain. Morgan joined her at her side mere seconds later, yelling. “FBI! Put the gun down!”.

Spencer used the last bit of energy to lunge forward, hitting the unsubs stomach with his head, successfully getting him on the floor for Morgan to apprehend. Y/N rushed to Spencer’s side, untying him, as his now nonexistent sobs grew louder and louder, not only at the prospect of getting out of that horrible place alive, but also at the knowledge that Y/N had heard what he had so dreadfully recited.

Spencer collapsed into her arms, crying into her in the same way she was crying into him, and she wondered just how to take away all his pain. So they cried into each other, desperately grasping each others hair, skin, clothes, anything that would make them feel like they wouldn’t have to spend another damned second without the company of each other.

Spencer was the first to break the silence.

“I need-” he stopped, coughing. She reached for the bottle of water she had brought with her because she knew he would need it. She always knew what he needed.

He chugged it desperately, stray drops falling down his chin at his eagerness. He took a deep breath trying to steady his lungs.

“I need to get out of here” he choked out.

She grabbed him under the shoulders, careful not to hurt him - not being successful, realising that there wasn’t much of him the man hadn’t hurt. Y/N pulled him out, sitting down on the grass with him. Their legs intertwined, pulling each other impossibly closer. They kissed, over and over again. Not as an act of any sexual relevance, but as a reminder that they had each other in any way, shape or form. That they weren’t out of time.

The team was certain they would stay there, never letting each other go for another minute.

After what felt like seconds in their time-starved little world, she broke the silence, which had only been filled with their own cries and occasional sobs.

“Spence” she grabbed his chin to look into his eyes. They were dull, red and hooded. He was exhausted. “Mhmm?” he let out, looking into hers. She was his solace.

“How could you ever think you were anything but completely and unequivocally enough?” she whispered the words he dreaded.

But as Spencer looked into her eyes he knew, better than he had ever known anything, that he was enough. And she was enough. He realised that which she had known for the past three months (possibly longer). They fit like two marvellous puzzle pieces.

Her hands grabbed his cheeks slowly, as to not hurt or startle him, pulling his forehead into hers. “Baby, I can’t imagine anybody else waking up to me every morning. You’re so much more than enough”, she planted a small kiss on his forehead before resuming her position. “I’ll remind you every day of the rest of my life if that’s what it takes for you to believe it”.

And with their eyes closed, foreheads and noses pressed together and legs tangled between each other, pulling each other close, closer - around grass and voices and his abuser pressed into the hood of a police car, they only felt each other. With their shaky breaths, even shakier voices, fearing any words that would leave them in case they triggered a cascade of tears down their oh so vulnerable cheeks, they were more than enough.

***

I hope y’all liked it!! Feel free to let me know by liking, reblogging, or sending me a message :) 

super cool kid taglist: @lady-anon-x​ @spencerreid-mgg​​ @eoupe​ @inlovewithbabygirl​ @galaxydefenderjulia​ @username2002​

[mageofseven]

Bros and undateables react to MC who bakes in the middle of the night when stressed

I read this and my brain was like "so Beel's dream MC?". Of course, doing it out of stress isn't good, but Beel would definitely enjoy midnight sweets~

Anyway, will do, Nonnie! Please enjoy 😊

Also, like always, I'm splitting this into two parts: one for Brothers and the other Undateables for space reasons.

~

Lucifer:

Was heading to the kitchen to get himself more coffee to continue his paperwork.

When he saw the kitchen light on, he expected to catch Beel raiding the fridge.

Instead, he found MC at the oven, pulling out another set of cookies to add to the already monstrous pile of them on the counter.

"MC, what are you doing?"

The human jumped at his voice then gave an awkward laugh.

"Baking..."

"Yes, I have eyes, Love." He tells them. "What I mean is, why are you baking at 1am?"

"...I dunno."

The man sighed before approaching the human and turning off the oven.

"Regardless, I believe you've made enough cookies for one night. It's time for bed."

The human didn't move however.

"Darling?"

"I can't sleep..."

MC proceeds to explain how they get bad anxiety at night and how usually they can power through it, but with some school stressors on top of it, it became overwhelming and they just needed to do something to distract themselves.

The demon frowned.

"Love, you should have just came to me if you were having issues."

"But you're busy with your work--"

"That doesn't matter if you need me though."

The firstborn smoothed down their human's hair, which was messy.

"Now follow me to my room. I'll make sure you get some rest."

"But what about the cookies?"

"I'm sure Beel will wander in and take care of them for you."

Mammon:

Just got back from a party and was heading to the kitchen to grab a snack before heading up to his room

Only to find MC awake and... icing a cake?

"Oi! Human! What's with the cake?"

"I baked it."

"Well duh. But why?"

The human finished icing it, making the cake a colorful one with all of the brothers' colors.

"Because I wanted to." The human shrugged, not meeting his eyes. "Do you want a piece?"

"Uh.. sure." The demon mumbled.

He hopped onto the counter next to them as he watched them grab a plate and cut a piece for him.

MC handed the plate and a fork to him.

"It's red velvet." They said proudly.

"Yeah, yeah..." The man mumbled, taking a bite.

His eyebrows raised.

"Man, this is good!" His face went red at his words so he dialed back. "I mean, its okay... ya know."

MC gave a small smile, but it quickly fell into a heavier look.

"Hey, what's with that face??"

MC quietly hopped on the free counter next to him.

They didn't answered, just lightly kicked their feet as they stared at the floor.

"Oh c'mon, Babe, talk to me 'ere!"

MC sighed.

"I'm sorry. My anxiety is just bad tonight... I wanted to keep busy."

...oh.

The Avatar of Greed sat the plate down and put his arm around his Human.

"I don't get why you went to straight to baking..." The demon thought aloud. "But it doesn't matter. I'm home now, got that? You don't have to be anxious on your own..."

MC gave a soft smile.

"Thanks, Babe."

"Nothin' to thank me for. Now just let The Great Mammon take care of you!"

Leviathan:

This boy's sleep schedule is kinda fucked up

So it's not unusual for him to be up at 3am.

The Avatar of Envy ran out of pop in his room so he ventured out to the kitchen to get some more.

Which is how he found MC in the kitchen with like... seven cheesecakes???

"...What am I looking at?"

"Cheesecake."

"Well duh, normie." The demon rolled his eyes. "But why did you make cheesecake at like, 3am?"

Silence. Levi was suddenly worried that they hurt his Human's feelings and the look is their eyes definitely wasn't filled with the positivity that he's used to.

"Look..." He came up and hugged them close. "I just don't get it. Please don't be upset."

MC laid their head against their boyfriend's chest.

"It's fine." They mumbled. "I'm sorry... I just couldn't sleep so... I just came in to bake and this was the outcome."

"You should have just came to my room." He pulled back to look at them. "You could have been watching me play Rune Factory or something."

MC turned away from the demon, wrapping their arms around themselves.

"I'm not too clingy... right?"

"I... what?"

MC sighed.

"I didn't go to you because I was worried that you just wanted time to yourself and I'm always with you during the day..."

Levi just shook his head at every word they just said.

"Look... I always want my Henry with me." He blushed. "And yeah, I like my time away from other people, but that doesn't include you; just other normies."

"Are... are you sure?"

"I mean, yeah." He mumbled. "So... just don't worry about it, okay?"

Satan:

This man usually has a better sleep schedule but tonight he had stayed up reading just a bit too long.

He started heading to the kitchen to get some water and found MC with counter surfaces covered with cupcuakes while they looked really stressed and teary-eyed down at the one they were drawing on with icing.

"Kitten?"

MC jumped and quickly raised their hand to wipe their eyes.

Satan strode over and stopped them, looking down into their eyes.

"Kitten, what's wrong?" He wiped away a fallen tear.

They avoided their boyfriend's gaze.

"It's not working..." They mumbled.

"What are you talking about?"

"The cats aren't turning out right..." Their gaze falls to the dozen cupcakes with cat faces drawn on them in icing, but didn't meet the human's standards apparently.

The blonde raised an eyebrow. Surely they weren't in the kitchen crying over cupcakes because their designs weren't coming out well?

He sighed.

"Give me your hand." He took the human's hand with the bag of icing and brought it over a cupcake. He guided them with the design and helped them make a cleaner-looking cat.

"Thank you." MC sniffled.

Satan pressed a kiss to their forehead.

"Now what's the real issue, Little One?"

MC didn't say a word, just lightly sat the icing bag down and stared at the cupcakes.

Their boyfriend waited patiently and just rubbed circles on their hand with his thumb.

"I... I'm not gonna be sent away if I fail a class, right?"

"What are you talking about?"

MC shifted their gaze to the ground.

The blonde sighed once more and wrapped his arms around their waist.

"Talk to me, Kitten."

They sniffled.

"I'm failing my Hexes class." They mumbled. "This semester got so much harder and my grade took a nose dive... and the requirements to stay in the program say I gotta keep my grades in a certain range..."

"MC... you should have told me sooner." He tightened his embrace around them and set his chin on their shoulder.

"B-But you can't always help me--"

"Yes I can, Kitten. I'm always ready to help you when you need me."

"Satan..."

He kissed their cheek.

"And trust me when I say I would never let anyone take you away from me." He told them. "I'd fight the whole Devildom to keep you by my side."

He placed one last kiss on their temple.

"I'll help you study tomorrow. For now, let's clean up and get some rest."

Asmodeus:

Another one who just came home from a party and was heading towards his room when he heard a frustrated sigh come from the kitchen.

The demon poked his head inside and found MC staring down at... something. Whatever it was supposed to be, it just looked like charcoal now.

"Doll? What are you doing up?"

MC sighed.

"Baking." They eyed the black brick on the counter. "Or well... tried to anyway."

Asmo stepped inside and immediately went over to kiss his human.

They smiled a bit.

"Welcome home."

He smiled back and gave his Doll a big hug.

MC relaxed into the hug.

"My anxiety is just bad tonight for basically no reason." They explained, burying their face in the crook of his neck. "I was waiting for you to come home."

"Aww, Dolly." He pulled back and kissed their check. "You should have texted me! I would of been home sooner!"

"No, no, it fine." They pulled away. "Did you have fun?"

"Yep! Of course, I would have had even more fun if you came me, but I still made do~."

He gave them another kiss, this time on their nose.

"Now why don't we lay down now, hmm?"

MC smiled.

"Okay, thank you, Azzy."

Beelzebub:

Midnight kitchen raid. A usual nightly occurrence.

This time however, the Avatar of Gluttony's nose was greeted by a sweet smell as he approached the kitchen.

"Oh Beely!" The human displayed their plate full of fudge squares to him. "Please try them and tell me what you think."

Was he dreaming? The man felt like he was dreaming. Still, he didn't hesitate to accept the human's offer.

He made quick work of the fudge and smiled happily at his Muffin.

"Good?"

"Amazing." He stepped forward and hugged his human.

After a moment though, his smile fell.

"Wait...what are you doing up?"

Silence.

"Muffin?"

MC broke away and sat the now empty plate in the sink.

"I dunno. I just couldn't sleep." They explained. "I guess I just..."

The demon stared down at them, waiting patiently.

"Ugh..." MC let their face fall into his chest.

He stroked their hair quietly, brows furrowing in concern.

"I got a test on Friday and no matter how much I study for it, I can't stop stressing about it." They sighed.

"What class?"

"History..." They mumbled. "Why do we have to cover a whole century of events in one test?"

Beel patted their head and hugged their human close.

"Can I sleep with you tonight, Beely? I don't think I wanna go back to my room."

He kissed the top of their head.

"Of course, Muffin."

Belphegor:

Believe or not, its common for Sleepy Boy to be up late at night.

He sleeps so much during the day that he's usually awake starting from after his dinner nap to about 4 or 5 am.

Hence him being awake at 2am and heading towards MC's room, only to notice that their room was empty, but there was noise coming from the kitchen.

He found his Human sitting on the floor in front of the oven, staring into it.

"What are you doing?"

"Waiting for the brownies to bake." They said dully, not looking away from the oven.

"Are you baked?"

MC lightly hit his arm, but broke out into a small smile.

He smirked.

"Come on, I mean, who bakes brownies at 2am and just stares at them?"

Their smile fell, as did their gaze; they stared down at their bare feet.

Belphie frowned.

"Okay, what's the problem, Butthead?"

No response. He gave a small flick to their head.

"Ow..." The human rubbed their forehead, looking to the Avatar of Sloth as he stared expectantly at them.

They sighed.

"I've been getting nightmares lately... at least I think I have been."

The demon raised an eyebrow.

"You think you've had nightmares?"

"I... can't actually remember them." They mumbled. "All I know is that I'll have them and wake up crying with my heart pounding... but I can never remember why. Like, what the dream was about..."

"How long has this been going on?"

"About... two weeks I think?"

He flicked them on the forehead again.

"Ow!" They rubbed their forehead once more.

"Dummy. You are literally dating the demon whose an expert on sleep and stuff."

Silence. He sighed.

"Come here." He pulled them in for a hug. "Come to my room. I'll keep the nightmares away, got it?"

[bucky-iss-bae]

3am Cravings (Derek Hale x Reader)

A/N: It’s actually 3am for me while posting it. Thats why this is most deifnitly not my best work. I just, I wanted to write, and post something, I’ve got so much to improve on. 

Fandom: Teen Wolf

Pairing: Derek Hale x Reader

Warnings: A few swear words, hormononal annoyance?? 

Word Count: 1044

Masterlist  

Fandom List

You were awake at 3am again. You hated not being able to sleep, and all you wanted to do was eat. But then even eating was a mess right now. You hated the smell of most food, ate the weirdest combinations, and always hungry at the most ridiculous hours. Which you hated even more because right now you couldn’t sleep, you were hungry and it was 3am.

You were a little bit jealous because the person who caused all of this was sleeping peacefully beside you. Not worrying about back pain, not worrying about cravings, not worrying, while you were sat there not able to get to sleep again. Your body was getting big, swollen in places you didn’t want to be swollen, and this made everything so much more difficult for you. But you had decided, you were hungry, you were going to get food, and you did not care if you woke your husband up because once again, he’s the reason you’re like this.  

“Derek” You said poking him awake, “Derek” You called again,

He shot up this and looked around confused, “Huh, what? Shit, you good baby? Whats up?” The slur in his voice made him sound both adorable and sexy, any other day that would’ve turned you right on, but now you just had one thing in mind.

“I’m hungry” you announced, “I want food”

He rose his eyes before falling back on this bed, “You woke me up at…” He looked across at the clock, “3am. Just to tell me you’re hungry”

You nodded at that and he ran his hands over his face, his eyes slightly dropping still, “Okay. You want me to go grab you something from the kitchen?” He asked me,

You grimaced slightly, “Um… well. You know how you love me”

A small adoring small appeared on his face, “Yeah baby, I love you. I also want to remind you its 3am”

You couldn’t help but huff out at that crossing your arms across your chest.

“Fine. You go back to sleep, because you don’t have bump to worry about. I’ll go get food myself” You grumbled climbing out of bed,

“Y/N” He groaned, trying to reach out to you, “Shit why do I forget how sensitive this pregnancy makes you” He murmured under his breath,

You turned to glare at him for that but instead slipped on some sweats and a hoodie before leaving the room to go downstairs.

“Stupid husband who doesn’t have to worry about stupid food or stupid cravings because he’s just a stupid man who doesn’t have to put up with this stupid shit” You grumbled under your breath, although you knew that this bump was most definitely not stupid, instead the best thing to ever happen to you, it was just a little bit inconvenient at times like this and with someone who cared more about their sleep. Although Derek had been helping so much, and been doing everything for you, you still got a little tiny bit frustrated because hormones.

“You know I can hear you right” He said from the top of the stairs,

“I don’t care if you and your stupid werewolf hearing can hear me. Stupid” you grumbled with a pout. You had to sit on the stairs to slip into some sneakers. It was getting more and more difficult.

“Come on baby. Let me go get whatever you need, you go get back into bed yeah, you’re supposed to be on bedrest anyway” He said from behind you.

“There’s no point. I’ll just sit there, bored, like I always do. And then I can’t sleep. So I’m literally only in bed because my back is so stupid because you decided to get me pregnant”

You could literally hear the smirk, since getting pregnant, Derek’s protectiveness had grown, he rarely let you get up to do anything, and then when your Doctor recommended being on bed rest, or at least resting more than usual, Derek took that literally.

“Baby, we decided on this. Just a reminder”

You turned around, giving him another glare, he was stood there in only his boxers, he was definitely not going anywhere.

“No, you and your stupid dick decided this” you said getting up with great difficulty, groaning in pain in the process. You still had a couple of months left of this but your bump with the cutest thing, even if it did make your whole body swell up.

He was helping you within seconds, an amused look on his face when you were both stood at the bottom of the staircase.

“Y/N, baby, give me two minutes. And I’ll go get ready, let me take you at least, I don’t care if you’re pissed at me. I know right now you’re a little…”

You cut him off with another look, “A little what?”

“A little… um… hungry. Hangry…”

You smiled and nodded, “Glad you get it. Now hurry up” You said slapping his ass causing him to jump which made you giggle, a tiny bit.

He shook his head and went up to get ready while you waited.

He came down a few minutes later wearing a wife beater and some grey joggers.

“Damnn, my baby daddy looking sexy as fuck” You grinned at him,

“Someone’s changed in the last two minutes” He said giving you a quick kiss before the two of you left.

“Where did you want to go?”

“I want a cheeseburger” You said, “But it’ll give me really bad heartburn. But I’ll be fine”

He looked across at you, “A cheeseburger? Where from?”

“McDonalds” you grinned,

“The things I’m doing for you baby”

“I know, and I love you, even if you are stupid, and I’m sorry for always being so… so frustrated. I’m just tired, and hungry, and I love you” He squeezed your thigh with his hand,

“I know baby, I love you too” He said, “And I knew what was to be expected whenever you got pregnant. I knew these midnight runs would be a part of it, at least this time you didn’t threaten to call someone to come get you”

You laughed at that but held his hand as the two of you basically went on a 3am date.

A/N - Sorry about all the typos and the grammer mistakes, I’m a whole tired mess xoxo 

[benedictscanvas]

little moments - aaron hotchner x reader

Pairing: Aaron Hotchner x Reader

Word Count: 1.6k

Warnings: Mention of working at the BAU and what that entails, maybe a little language, but this one is just fluffy goodness, I promise

A/N: Finally! Sorry this one took a while! Thank you for all your requests, I’m getting to them as quickly as possible!

---

You were woken gently, rather than abruptly as you often were in the mornings by either yours or your husband’s phone. But as your eyes fluttered open, you quickly realised it wasn’t morning at all and you’d probably only been asleep for a few hours. The room was dark, your eyes taking a while to adjust with no light peeking through underneath the curtains. It didn’t take you long to realise that Aaron had just slipped under the covers behind you.

You didn’t turn to him yet, instead pressing the button on your phone to illuminate the time. You squinted at the light. It was just past 3am. Groaning, you turned over.

“Aaron,” you murmured in your sleepy haze, “You said you’d stop at two.”

Through still squinting eyes, you could see his expression morph into one of slight shame at waking you up. He placed a too-cold hand on your cheek and pressed his lips to your forehead, lingering for a moment.

“Go back to sleep,” he whispered into your skin, pressing a final kiss to the top of your head before returning his head to the pillow beside yours. His hand left your cheek and pulled you closer, pushing you lightly ot encourage you to roll over. You didn’t oblige, instead weaving your hand around to the back of his neck to play with his hair while you looked at him.

“Why didn’t you stop at two?” you rephrased, trying not to smile at Aaron’s sigh as he realised you weren’t going to let this one go, despite how tired you might have been. You’d both just arrived home after a long case. Whilst you did some of your paperwork before calling it a night at a reasonable time, Aaron told you he wouldn’t be up too late, he’d join you soon, he just wanted to get a headstart on tomorrow’s work.

You should’ve known to drag him to bed there and then, but hindsight was a wonderful thing.

“There was a lot to do, Y/N,” he said.

“There’s always a lot to do,” you countered, “It can wait until tomorrow. It can always wait until tomorrow.”

“Technically, it is tomorrow,” he said playfully, that little smirk on his face that both infuriated you and made you want to smirk yourself. He was such a pain in the ass. You huffed as you finally rolled over, scooting backwards until your back was pressed against his broad chest. He was quick to throw an arm around you, tight around your middle.

“I’m too sleepy to argue with you,” you spoke through a yawn, hearing him chuckle behind you, “But I just want you to look after yourself, Aaron.”

There was a pause, because you’d said that more earnestly than you’d expected to. But it was true. It was difficult to see him sacrifice so much of himself for the job. You all sacrificed bits of yourselves, but sometimes it felt like Aaron was giving himself away in larger pieces as time went on.

“I do,” he mumbled, “I’m here now, aren’t I?”

You relented, only because it was so late and this was a conversation for another time.

“I suppose this isn’t as bad as you staying up all night,” you hummed, the pads of your fingers tracing feather light patterns into the forearm around your waist. You felt his breath on your neck, then a series of kisses all the way down the column of your throat. They were sweet little kisses, not attempting to lead to anything more, just a reminder of his appreciation for you.

“You’re warm.”

“You’re cold,” you retorted, having to make an effort not to flinch away from his cold legs tangling with yours. He held firm.

“Would you mind sharing that warmth, as my doting wife?”

His whispers were punctuated with more kisses, these ones down your jaw, to your hairline, on your shoulder, wherever his lips could reach from behind you. You sighed, blissfully content as you slid your fingers through his around you and intertwined them.

“Always.”

He’d probably expected a joking answer, you realised straight after you’d said it, but he didn’t seem to mind. He quickly turned you round to face him again, despite your small squeak of protest at his sudden movements and, before you could comprehend anything, his lips were on yours.

It was clumsy, because you were still basically in the midst of sleep and he was running on very little of it, but that hardly mattered. All you could feel was his thumb rubbing soothing circles on your exposed hipbone, his other hand tangled in your hair keeping you close. His touch was cold, but you were warmed inside and out. When you pulled away, he brought you right back to him, kissing you again with even more ferocity, which you had no choice but to succumb to. You weren’t complaining.

When you and Aaron were working cases, there was little chance for nights like these. Moments like these. They were fleeting, found in the muttered ‘be careful’s upon parting, the gentle shoulder squeezes, the looks that no one else could possibly decipher, not even the world’s best profilers. Even on the occasion you were able to get some sleep in a hotel, you’d do just that. Sleep. It was necessary, or you wouldn’t function well enough to do the job the best you could.

Now, even at 3am, if you could have just a little time to just be a husband and wife, no BAU, no serial killers, no rude interruptions, you decided you’d take what you could get.

This time it was Aaron who pulled away with a short gasp for breath, which only made you smile more than you already were.

“Well, I’m awake now,” you said teasingly, “What was that for?”

He shrugged as best he could while propping his head up on his elbow to stare at you.

“Payment. You know, for the warmth. And because-” he brushed a lock of hair from your face and tucked it neatly behind your ear, “-you’re just beautiful.”

“Stop it, you,” you said, because it was your instinct to brush him off when he got quite so serious about you.

“You know, sometimes, when we’re on a case and you figure something out or we catch a guy and the adrenaline’s flowing I just-” he looked as if he was struggling to say something, so you stayed quiet to let him finish, “-I just want to grab you and kiss you just like that. In front of everyone.”

“You do?”

“All the time,” he admitted, suddenly seeming shy. You almost laughed at him. Your husband, your incredible, stoic, serial killer catching husband, getting shy about telling you how much he wanted to kiss you sometimes. You reached up, hands on his jaw and kissed him again, much more slowly, but with aching passion building between the two of you.

“You know when you interrogate someone?” you said and his brow furrowed like he thought you were changing the subject, but he nodded his head all the same, “Sometimes you play bad cop. And you slam things down on the table, raise your voice, pace around them. Now that makes me want to stride into that room and jump into your arms.”

Your confession was possibly worse than his, but it was true. You got the feeling he was being tame with his anyway. You were still being tame with yours. It was what would happen after you jumped into his arms that you spent the most of your time daydreaming about.

“It does?” he echoed your earlier question. Your hands were still on his jaw, rubbing gentle circles, one leg thrown haphazardly over his waist when you were kissing that had stubbornly stayed there.

“It does,” you said and grinned when his eyes lit up in response, “Working together is amazing but sometimes, it’s hard to be your colleague and not just be your wife.”

“You’re always my wife,” he said softly, encircling your waist with his arms until your cheek was pressed against his chest and he could kiss the top of your head again, “Even when we can’t act like it.”

You could hear the sleep in his voice. You took your chance at slowly letting the conversation dwindle, hoping he would finally drift off. You wouldn’t go back to sleep until he did, that much was certain, needing to know that he was peaceful before you could clear your mind and give into it yourself. You’d left him awake once already that night and you wouldn’t do it again.

“I love you Aaron,” you whispered, kissing his chest through his tshirt, wrapping one arm around his own waist and resting the other against his heart, “Sleep, honey.”

The way his hold tightened around you told you he was obliging. You smiled.

“I love you, sweetheart.”

You waited until his breathing was even. It only took a few minutes. When you finally deemed him asleep, you allowed yourself to close your eyes, which had been hard to keep open and hoped for dreams of more moments between you and your husband when you fell asleep.

It was then that yours and Aaron’s ringtone began blaring. You pressed your lips together in your anger. The moments would have to wait.

[theotherbuckley]

Healing fic - which of them healing? Both? From what specifically or ALL OF IT?

Also asked by @wikiangela

Ok ok so healing fic is actually a seriously depressing fic but it does have a relatively happy ending.

Basically passively suicidal Buck turns a little less passive. The firefam(and especially Eddie) are there to help him through his recovery except of course healing is never linear. Buddie fic but focuses primarily on bucks healing. Oh also Buck 1.0 habits make a reappearance and that goes about as well as you’d expect.

It’s set so after the shooting and then when Maddie, Chim and Eddie leave.

Here’s a snippet I may or may not have shared before:

Eddie gets shot on a Thursday. In broad daylight, and Buck is right there. And all he can do is watch. Eddie gets shot on a Thursday and Buck thinks that’s the moment it all started— when everything got bad again.

Because Eddie gets shot and Buck just stands there, frozen. With his blood splattered on his shirt, on his face, in his mouth. There is just something so wrong, he thinks, with knowing what his best friend’s blood tastes like before he even knows what his lips taste like, what his— It’s just all wrong.

Maybe it started before that, when he found out the truth about his entire existence. That he was just nobody. Just spare parts, created for a child that his parents might’ve actually loved. That he couldn’t even do the one thing he was made for; couldn’t even save his own brother.

It’s like his life finally made sense; why he was so screwed up. He was defective parts that nobody ever really wanted, just a means to an end, and he had failed at even that. So maybe it was then that things started getting bad again.

Or maybe it was the lawsuit, when nobody could even look him in the eye. Maybe it was when Eddie was yelling at him. You’re exhausting, you’re exhausting, you’re exhausting.

Maybe it was the tsunami, where he lost Christopher. Sometimes he still wakes up screaming his name.

Or maybe it’s just that everyone is leaving. Again.

But no, he thinks, it was the shooting where everything just started crashing right back down.

Because Eddie was shot on a Thursday.

And now it’s months later and Buck still lies awake at 3am because he’s back there and he’s frozen and he’s watching his— Eddie get shot, 6 feet in front of him, and he’s just there and why wasn’t it him?

Why wasn’t it him?

Every time he closes his eyes it's all just red. Every time he closes his eyes he’s stuck watching as his best friend bleeds out on the road whilst he’s pushed to the ground by Captain Mehta and all he can do is just stare.

And Eddie’s reaching out to him, and people are screaming, he thinks, but for some reason it's all just so quiet. And he can’t do anything.

Except in his dreams Buck never does roll under the fire truck. He can’t move, can’t do anything except watch Eddie die.

And all he can think is why wasn’t it him.

[peacharchivedtm]

tenacityreturns asked: "I think the kids are awake," tatsuya talking about aomine and kagami who can be heard having some kind of generic argument in almost hushed tones at 3am.

they’ve been talking. three am confessions of what they’re scared of, and what they want the future to look like as shadows passed on the walls. they toss around the idea of a picket white fence and 2.5 kids -- and nijimura wonders about becoming a coach. it’s time to seriously start thinking about their future. tatsuya’s going to play professionally he says. “new york knicks, you know.” he’s got his life planned , “ what about when you retire ? ” tatsuya blinks, “ a restaurant. cooking is such a large part of my life and i’d have to feed you right ? what better way than to own a restaurant?” nijimura scowls at his boyfriend. “ look at me , i’m tatsuya , i’m well-put together , i’ve got everything figured out. ” tatsuya kicks him, “ asshole. you know you don’t have to have everything figured out right ? but what it’s worth ? i think you’d make an excellent coach. i mean you basically coach taiga and you were a hard-ass captain. you know basketball and strategies better than anyone else i know.” nijimura softens, opens his mouth when: “ where do you keep your porn ? ” is the question has tatsuya and shuuzou looking at each other, and tatsuya whispering that they are awake. aomine, please its three am. it’s the only thing that either one can make out before something tips over. brows furrow -- was that -- was that the dresser ? or one of the being shoved out of bed ? they don’t have the most thin walls in the apartment so he can’t actually tell. nijimura is past the point of tired, and so , he bursts into giggles when tatsuya deadpans at him, miming one of the boys shoving at each other. “ geez, ” he says , catching his breath. suddenly a yelp as someone is shoved, and he’s laughing again, at how spot-on tatsuya had been. “ i couldn’t tell, tatsu. thanks for that. ” tatsuya smiles and shuuzou softens before hand finds the other’s hand under the blanket and entwines his fingers. their hands slot together perfectly and in the moonlight of shuu’s room , it’s quiet.  “ you know,” he says as he turns over on his side to look at him, “ you signed up for them. you could have said no. had nothing to do with it. ”  “ i think taiga would’ve brought me in anyways even if you didn’t. ”  “ maybe not as their mom. ”  “ no atsushi all but made that decision for me. ”  “ you just see a helpless guy and can’t help yourself huh ? ”  “ fuck right off , shuu. ”  a grin , “ i could fuck you. ”  “ you could. but you won’t because it’s three am and the kids are still awake and you’re tired. ”  shuuzou lets out a hum , runs his thumb over the other’s finger. he’s right of course. he twists over , just enough so that he’s looking at his door , before letting out a yell of “shut up and go to sleep. ”  “ you know that won’t work. ” tatsuya says helpfully, pressing his body into shuuzou’s. shuu is warm and tatsuya is cold. he presses cold feet against shuu’s leg’s. tatsuya grins when shuuzou lets out a curse.  “ well. what do you suggest we do then ? ”  “ hit them over the head ? ”  “ interesting. no. ”  tatsuya blinks, “ why not ?” “ if you think i’m getting out of this bed for any reason other than a death , then maybe we shouldn’t be dating. ”  tatsuya grins, slow, as he lets out a yawn. “ alright you baby. lets go to sleep. ” both aomine and kagami have quieted down -- not quiet as loud as they had been before but enough to where it can lull shuu into a sleep. a kiss is pressed into shuuzou’s head , before tatsuya himself , burrows face into the nape of his boyfriends neck.