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reidmotif · 3 months ago

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Relax, I've Got You

Summary: Reader isn't the best at handling stress, and her roommate Spencer, notices. Luckily, he has quite a few salacious ideas on how he could make her feel better.

Couple: Spencer Reid/Fem!Reader

Category: Smut

Content Warning: friends-with-benefits situation, oral (f!recieving), fingering (f!recieving), mentions of anxiety/symptoms of anxiety.

Word Count: 2.7 k

Masterlist

You were never good at handling stress.

You were well aware of this facet of your psyche– the way tensity would often wind around your limbs, snaking into the very depths of your bones until you were entirely drained and devoid of peace, a shell of the person you were accustomed to being.

You had dealt with this complication on your own for the most part. You’d come home after a long day, and attempt to find yourself again through chamomile tea, lavender mists, and a warm blanket.

Of course, there were days where even these measures could not suffice in curing your weariness.

That’s where Spencer Reid came in.

He’d only been your roommate at first. With the economy going as it was, it was simply more practical to find one, rather than renting alone. He’d responded to an ad you’d put up, and you accepted. The process was easy, honestly. You had no qualms about sharing your living space with another person, and even found the arrangement enjoyable at times. Spencer was well-mannered, never missed rent, and wasn’t even at home most of the time. When he was, he was quiet. Sweet.

Through time, you found yourself becoming friends with the man. The conversation was light and easy, and in a rare turn of events, you started to open up to him. Even more surprisingly, he returned the favor, adding to the understanding that was fast growing between the two of you. It seemed only natural, since both of you were made naturally vulnerable by the circumstances of your situation. You’d come to your apartment, drop the mask of the day, and see that Spencer was already there, becoming an extension of the solace you found at home. Soon enough, the comfort of your couch was simply synonymous to him as well.

It didn’t take long for Spencer to notice the anxieties that would plague you when a deadline came about, or when you simply fixated on an issue for too long. The way your bedroom light wouldn’t shut until 4 AM, or how you’d pace in the kitchen, so wired that your body denied you the rest you so desperately needed. He noticed the dark circles, the occasional irritability (followed by an apology, of course), the headaches, everything. Which is why he thought nothing of it to suggest some remedies for your troubles over breakfast one day.

“Caffeine can actually increase stress, if you weren’t aware.” He says, eyeing your second cup of coffee that morning. “There’s actually a large amount of data that indicates you should limit caffeine intake, especially if you’re already anxious.”

You narrow your eyes, furrowing your brows slightly. “Says who?” You retort, not quite ready to give up your chosen beverage.

“The NIH, Penn State, the AMA-”

“Okay, okay. Sorry. I got it.” You interrupt, knowing you’d started a losing battle the moment you’d questioned him. “I’ll try to cut down on it.”

He grins, satisfied with how the interaction had played out. You, on the other hand, started to drift farther away from your current setting. You swallow, putting down your coffee cup before rubbing your eyes, a soft sigh escaping you.

“Something wrong?” Spencer asks, cautiously, his voice soft.

You tsk, shaking your head and shrugging a bit at your own dilemma. “It's just.. I’m already so tired. I’m exhausted and the day’s barely begun.” You pause, unable to articulate just how fatigued you were. “It’s like I can already feel the mid-afternoon headache I’m going to get later, and it hasn’t even started yet.” You hate the way you sound, longing for the day you could fully relax for even a fraction of a second.

“You’d probably be a lot less tired if you slept a little more.” Spencer suggests, and you shoot him a death glare.

“Don’t you think I know that?” You snap. “I’m trying. It’s not that easy. It’s just-” You groan, stopping yourself as the quick realization dawns on you that you’ve misdirected your frustrations. There’s a wave of shame rising up almost immediately, heating your cheeks up in regret.

“I’m sorry, Spencer. Sorry. That’s unfair of me. I know you’re just looking out for me.” You murmur, taking a deep breath to calm your senses.

“Hey, don’t worry.” He says, his voice low and compassionate. “I get it. I know you’ve got a lot on your plate right now.”

You nod, closing your eyes as you continue to breathe. He continues to speak, his voice remaining warmhearted.

“There are actually quite a few ways to alleviate stress. Some experts recommend meditation, exercise and yoga. I wouldn’t mind doing those with you, if you were interested.” He offers, as he continues to ramble, lost in his own explanation in the hopes of being of service to you. “Some experts even name sex as a useful stress reliever, due to the endorphins and oxytocin released after completion.”

You give a fruitless laugh. “Jesus, I wish. I don’t have the time to try and find someone willing to do that for me.”

Spencer goes quiet, and you finally open your eyes. You’re met with his stare, trained on your form, a thoughtful expression on his face.

“What?” You ask, upon returning his gaze.

He clears his throat, shaking his head, as if he was ridding himself of a passing thought. “Nothing. Sorry. I’m sorry. I hope you do find something that works for you though. I hate seeing you like this.”

You soften at his concern. “Thanks, Spencer.” You say, the affection in your voice unmistakable. “Maybe I’ll end up taking on.. Yoga? That seems doable, right?”

He smiles. “Yoga. Right.”

The days pass on, until you find yourself in a similar scenario you’ve been in one too many times. You’re pacing the kitchen, a small clock reading that it was currently 2 AM. You couldn’t even really decipher the source of tonight’s anxiety– all you know is you feel it, and you feel it deeply.

That’s when a voice breaks through the darkness, halting your movements altogether.

“Hey, are you alright?” Spencer’s soft, slightly deeper voice.

“Oh, yeah.” You call out, despite the growing tightness in your chest. “I’m fine. You can go back to sleep. Sorry for waking you.”

He shakes his head, scratching his head as he makes his way towards you. “It’s nothing.” He reassures. “I needed to pee anyway. What’s going on with you?” He inquires, gently.

You rub at your chest, biting your lip. “The usual.”

“Work?” He asks, softly.

You purse your lips. “I’m not even sure at this point. Just really anxious.”

His expression softens. A beat of silence passes between the two of you.

“I’m- um. I’m willing to help.” He stammers out, suddenly seeming much more nervous than he was a moment ago.

You give a dejected smile. “That’s sweet, Spencer, but I dunno. I think I have to deal with this on my own.”

“No, I mean. I can help. I’m willing to help. To do that for you. I’m your friend. I want to help.” He restates, his voice a little urgent.

“Willing to do what?” You ask, wholly confused with where he was going with this.

He takes a breath. “Sex. Or, an orgasm, at least. You said no one you knew would be willing to help you like that. I am. If you want.” He blurts out.

You stand there, momentarily shocked into silence. You’re suddenly able to recall the conversation you’d had, just a few days prior, and realize what he was trying to say. Here you were, in your kitchen, with your friend- your roommate, and he was selflessly offering himself to you. For sex. For de-stressing sex. He sounded so earnest, despite the obvious lewdness of his offer, and the juxtaposition made your head spin.

“I..” You start, your voice caught in your throat.

“You don’t have to feel compelled to say yes. I’m just offering. I want to help you.” He interjects, his voice still carrying that unselfishness you’d known from the very beginning.

“I.. no. I mean, yes. I want to say yes.” You find yourself admitting after a moment. “But.. are you sure? It’s.. I mean, it’s sex, Spencer.” You whisper.

“I’m aware.” He says, matching your softer tone. “I’m okay with that. Are you?”

You take a breath. Looking up at him, you take in his slightly tousled hair illuminated by the soft moonlight that drifted in through your apartment windows. His white sleep shirt was crumpled, and even in the darkness that enveloped you, you could decipher the kindness in his eyes, his mere presence bringing a shade of ease into you as you spoke to him.

“Yes.” You murmur out, the words flowing out with no hesitation. “I’m okay with that.”

“Can I kiss you?” He says, gently, and your nod of affirmation is almost immediate.

He steps closer and cups your cheek, before pressing his lips against yours gently. It’s a sweeter kiss, something that, despite never saying out loud, you would have expected from him. His mouth moves languidly against yours, before pulling away, slightly out of breath.

“Kissing actually helps to reduce cortisol.” He murmurs. “It indirectly lowers stress as a result. Is it working?”

And true to his words, you realized that the tightness in your chest had faded somewhat, no longer blaring with the intensity you had just felt a few minutes prior. An entirely new feeling settled within you- an ache, a need for this man and what he brought to you.

“Yeah. It’s working.” You mumble out.

As if he could read your mind, Spencer gently takes your hand. “Let’s move to the couch, yeah?” He murmurs, already leading you to his spot of preference.

He gently guides you to sit on the couch, quickly finding your lips once again to exchange some soft kisses along the way. His hands drift up and down your back, fingertips light and tender. His every touch speaks to something more, to an unspoken dedication that you’d never felt before until this moment.

To something that maybe extended beyond the original purpose of your rendezvous. “Is this alright?” He asks, his tone hushed and reverent.

You nod, almost in a trance. He was so gentle, so reassuring. He was exactly what you needed.

His lips find yours again and you respond eagerly, letting your hands tangle into the mess of brown hair that sat atop his head. He let out a small groan as your fingers slightly tugged on the strands, sending a thrill through you.

He starts to trail the kisses down your neck, seeking out more sensitive spots that could bring you into a further state of rest and repose. Everything about you spurred him on, it seemed. He paid attention to every noise, every movement– his ultimate goal seeming to hinge on your pleasure throughout this.

Of course, you respond accordingly to the dedication, a soft gasp or whimper escaping you when he would mouth at the perfect spot, which would only cause him to increase his actions tenfold, leading to even more response on your end.

The perfect feedback loop driving you to pliancy and ecstasy all at once.

His lips begin to drift down, and you realize he’s settling in between your legs now, hands on the waistband of your sleep clothes, urging you to lie down completely, which you do.

“Gonna take these off now.” He whispers, looking up at you between your legs.

“Please.” You respond, waiting with bated breath.

He manages to pull down the last barrier between you two, before being met with the mess he’d created. His lips parted as his fingers trailed lightly over your wet slit, your arousal evident on his finger as he marveled on the effect he could have on you.

“Jesus, you’re beautiful.” He whispers, as if his eyes are set upon something precious, something worthy of worship. And in a way, isn’t that exactly what he’d set out to do the moment he’d placed his face between your thighs?

He loops his arms around your thighs, before slowly allowing his tongue to dart out, delicately, tracing the wetness of your pussy. A moan slips out of you, low and needy, and that’s all the confirmation he needs before he’s diving in, devouring your cunt like a man starved.

“Spencer.” You gasp out. You say his name like prayer, like he is god-given, because in this moment, he is.

His tongue traces your clit in circles, before directly placing his lips over the swollen bud, applying some light suction. The tenderness in the action, the way his eyes flit upto yours, watching your gaze for the utmost reassurance that he was doing right by you, only hurdle you closer and closer to your pleasurable end.

It’s almost as if you’re floating, your back arching as his face stubbornly stays buried in your cunt, lapping at your wetness insistently. He wants your release just as bad as you do, and it’s clear he’ll do anything for the sweetness that comes with you falling apart in his arms.

“Oh god.” You moan out- how is it possible to feel so airy, and yet so present all at once? To feel every movement of Spencer’s warm, wet tongue lavishing your clit, and still be somewhere else entirely- a new height of pleasure you had sorely needed all along.

One of his hands leaves the iron-grip it had your thighs in, letting his fingers drift towards your entrance. He slips the digits in, slowly pumping into you, only adding to the overwhelming rapture you found yourself in. Your eyes shoot open, and you find yourself writhing against him.

“Spencer- oh god. Please, please.” You babble out, legs starting to tense with the beginnings of your orgasm.

He only pulls away enough to murmur softly. “That’s it.” His fingers continue their steady pace into you, his grip on your thigh keeping you planted to the mattress. “I got you, love. Come for me.”

With nothing else to say, he resumes eating you out, and the combination of his fingers and mouth finally barrels you towards your orgasm, shuddering as it rips through you, as your every sense is clouded- with this, with him.

It’s only until you’ve ridden out the entirety of your orgasm that he pulls away. Sitting upright, he leans forward to caress your jaw, taking in the rapid rise and fall of your chest, the flushed appearance your face had taken on in the throes of gratification.

“Feeling better?” He asks, softly.

“Entirely.” You whisper back, almost in awe. Not only at how well it worked, but how adoringly he stared at you, it being enough to stop your heart in your chest. Did he always look like this? How did you never notice?

“Can I return the favor?” You implore, already beginning to get up, but Spencer pushes you back down lightly, shaking his head.

“You’re tired.” He says, as if his word was fact, despite these being your feelings that were being spoken about. “Right now, the oxytocin coursing through your body is priming you perfectly for sleep, and God knows you need it.” He chuckles out.

You realize that he’s right, and for the first time, you feel the fatigue that comes naturally with sleep, as opposed to the restless nights you’d been dealing with. You still feel disappointed though, feeling a sting of rejection as you’re unable to touch him back. Still, your tiredness is undeniable, and so you nod.

He gets up, finding a blanket to lay on top of you, before kneeling beside your face. He looks at you with subtle veneration, before letting his lips brush against your forehead.

“I’ll take you up on your offer tomorrow, though, if that’s alright.” He murmurs. “When you’re rested.”

Your smile is immediate. “Deal.” You whisper out.

He looks at you for another beat, before letting his knuckles brush against your cheek, slowly retreating to his bedroom, as to let you get the rest you so desperately needed.

You close your eyes, amazed by the tranquility that came with Spencer. How simple intimacy came with him, as if that’s how it should’ve been all along.

You know you’ll ponder on this fact in greater detail later on, but for now, you relished in serenity of the afterglow.

“Spencer Reid.” You think. “What divine comfort you are.”

HOOOLY SHIT. how long has it been since i uploaded? a long time? i think. hahahaha. in between traveling, [redacted life updates], and even more, i just wasn't very inspired to write. i hope this speaks to some of you, and i hope it was enjoyable to read. as usual, any likes, comments, reblogs are so so so deeply appreciated. feedback as well! thank you so so so much for reading regardless, i am eternally grateful for any and all support <3 (oh also haha. this was written for @imagining-in-the-margins friends with benefits challenge! check it out.)

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saintslewis · 4 months ago

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❝ 𝐊𝐄𝐘𝐒 𝐓𝐎 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐊𝐈𝐍𝐆𝐃𝐎𝐌 | 𝐋𝐇𝟒𝟒 ❞

pairing: sir lewis hamilton x princess of zamunda!reader

summary: after many years, your father has left you to sort your love life out before you have to rule the kingdom. what you didn’t expect was to find love within your father’s favourite sport.

warnings: outfit links, smau, just read 🤭 (sorry for any typos!)

saint’s team radio 🎀: listen, i love ‘coming to america’ just as much as lewis and this being a 3 am thought made me too excited to write it. enjoy it, love ya! 🫵🏽💗

tags: @mauvecherie-writes @httpsserene @exotic-iris13 @motheroffae @purplelewlew @arshiyuh @alika-4466 @non-stop-imagines @hopefulromantic1 @vile-harlot @emjayewrites @yeea-nah @henneseyhoe @saturnville @greedyjudge2

pls like, comment and reblog!

fc: nomzamo mbatha

palaceofzamunda

liked by f1, mercedesamgf1 and 574,356 others

palaceofzamunda Her Majesty Princess Y/n will safely depart from Kigali, Rwanda to Montreal, Canada with the rest of the Royal Family for a motorsport event per the King’s request. We wish them safe travels!

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f1 very excited to host the royal family this weekend!

user i hope they will treat our glorious family well as the royalty they are

user princess y/n is so gorgeous

user so glad she gets to be our next queen

user sky sports and f1 have announced their arrival and have hyped it up so much…there’s levels to this kinda thing

user craziest thing is that they never say anything about prince harry or the prince of monaco whenever they’re there 😭

user i wonder which team the king supports

user fun fact our king loves ferrari but his fav drivers are 1644 and ofc other older drivers as well

user he’s just like the rest of us fr 😝

mercedesamgf1 extremely honoured to be hosting the Royal Family of Zamunda in our garage!

user i would risk it all for Princess Y/n

user it would be iconic if Princess Y/n gets together with a driver

user girl wdym, isn’t she married?

user no she isn’t, homegirl is extremely dedicated to her work as a humanitarian and as a country, we’d be surprised if she was romantically involved with anyone 😭

user what a woman

“Father, were the rose bearers necessary for the trip?” You huffed out, watching as rose petals were being tossed out on the tarmac before your father stepped out on the jet’s stairs.

“You know it is tradition, my child. Now, have you gathered everything before we leave this plane?” Your dad answered, waiting for you, your mother, and your sisters to exit the plane after him.

Holding onto your carry-on, the Canadian air breezed past you as you descended from the plane’s steps and gave the media a polite wave, wanting to get to the comfort of the hotel already. Given the warmest welcome from the airport staff, you and your family safely made your way to the official cars and drove to the Four Seasons.

Upon arrival, another warm welcome was given along with a bunch of staff issued to you at your every call and you did not want to say no as they kindly offered.

Laying down on the incredibly soft bed, you appreciated the aesthetics of your suite and took photos that you knew you couldn’t share with the public due to safety reasons so that just ruined the mood so to bring it up again, you called your royal advisor/childhood friend just to update her on your journey.

“And let me guess, the media was all over you guys.” Ama chuckled through the phone. “When aren’t they ever. A lot of them were from Baba’s thing we’re going to.” You said, rolling your eyes as you recalled the flashing lights from your landing.

“Oh, the formula thing. You’ll be fine, Y/n, just remember to interact with other human beings and don’t bring up work.” Ama spoke, squinting her eyes at you. “Don’t you have faith in me? I’ll be as chilled as I can be.” You said.

“Y/n my dear, should I remind you how you ran away from that one rapper because he wanted to take you out on a date?” She laughed in between her sentences and you wanted to scream in embarrassment. “Ama please, let’s not speak on that, it was enough to scar me for days.”

Holding her hands up, Ama spoke again. “Okay okay, I’m sorry. Look Y/n, I have to go now and I promise i won’t speak on it again.” She laughed once again and you just shook your head at her.

“Bye Ama, say hi to everyone back home for me.” You sighed out.

“Byeee! Don’t forget, listen to sexyy red before you go. She’ll give you confidence.” Ama winked then dropped the call.

Feeling your hunger slowly come back, you ultimately decided to drag your two younger sisters to get dinner with you. You knew the next day was going to be incredibly long so you wanted to do everything early to prepare yourself.

You made no effort to research a single thing about the sport that you were going to watch.

Your father had sent staff to hand deliver your passes to each of you, there were only two and had specified that it was from Mercedes. Luckily, they went very well with your outfit choice for qualifying that day.

As for your journey to the track, a clearly nervous Mercedes employee was assigned to you along with all the other members of your family having their own guide. Her first thought was to compliment you and you couldn’t have thanked her enough, with you starting to like the experience.

Sitting in the car was not awkward at all, you had asked several questions about the sport and what exactly was happening so that you would not be confused in the garage. A tour would be put in place before qualifying for your family then you’ll get to meet the drivers however most of the fun stuff will happen on Sunday.

“Tell me, is my skirt too short? I made a bold move with this outfit today.” You asked, the younger girl already shaking her head in disagreement.

“It’s a very cute outfit, Your Majesty. It’s quite unsuspecting unless you’re going to wear a sash.” Maddy joked. “Oh no, we stopped that practice three years ago. Another thing, you don’t have to call me that. Y/n is just fine.” You smiled and you could see her sigh out of relief.

The conversation had went on until you arrived to the paddock gates and quite the crowd had gathered and obviously they had to be for the drivers and other important f1 personnel. Maddy had informed you that you and your family would enter through a much more private entrance to avoid crowds.

As soon as the door was opened, you could hear the loud atmosphere of the track. From fans to the cars, it was buzzing and that had you looking forward to the rest of your trip. Following close behind, you could spot your parents and sisters walking slightly ahead of you and they were admiring the beauty of the scenes behind the sport.

However, the weather did not accommodate your outfit all with goosebumps rising on your skin so quickly. “We’ve got some hoodies in the hospitality.” Maddy reassured with a smile.

After a warm welcome upon arriving at the hospitality and the overly excited team principal had showed you around, you finally received the hoodie and completely unaware of the ‘44’ etched into the material but at least you were now warm.

Your father was at his happiest, over-explaining everything to your curious sisters and your mom was in deep conversations with the barista who was from Zamunda. The paddock club was lively with different people wearing colourful merchandise of their favourite teams and only then did you realize you hadn't seen any driver or their face even though they were planted everywhere.

Before you could pull out your phone to research, Khosi, the youngest, ran up to you whilst laughing. "I made a joke to Baba that you'd find someone here and the face he made was priceless." She wheezed out, plopping down on the couch you were sitting on and lightly smiled at her antics.

Looking over at your father, he couldn’t be more excited, his smile growing larger and larger as the Merc personnel continued speaking. “Toto will be here soon with the drivers and a few photographers from Mercedes. We’ll then head to the garage and pit lane for a tour.”

Without a moment to spare, several people entered the space including photographers, the very eager team principal and what you would assume were the drivers. The taller one walked in with his hands clasped together with a large smile on his face, his style could be described as preppy.

The next driver, however, his presence could be felt with just a step in the doorway. The first thing you noticed about him was his confidence followed by his outfit, a black tracksuit with simple red lines around specific areas. After being mesmerised by each detail about him, you got to his eyes which locked in with yours.

A shiver ran down your spine as the both of you maintained eye contact with each other, a slight smile on his face whilst chewing on some gum and you truly could’ve melted on the spot. “George, Lewis. Meet the royal family of Zamunda. King Akeem and his family have been long time followers of Formula One and we’ve had the honour of hosting them in our team.” Toto expressed, quite literally unable to stand still.

Introductions began and butterflies were flying around your stomach the closer you got to him. You could tell that he was your father’s favourite driver as he spoke for quite a while and even made a few jokes but you couldn’t hear anything, not when the man in the designer tracksuit was staring you down.

“Your Majesty, i’m Lewis. It’s lovely to meet you.” He finally introduced himself to you as you were the last of your family to greet everyone. You held out your hand to him and he gladly accepted it and you prayed that he wouldn’t feel the warmth of your palms. “Likewise,” You cleared your throat. “Y/n is just fine.”

The sound of your name falling from his lips felt like heaven, pronouncing it correctly on the first try just added to the attraction. “It’s a pleasure to meet you, Y/n.” He spoke lowly and you could barely keep yourself together in your head. You wanted to find more words to say to him, anything, but your chance fell short as the eager team principal pulled you out of your head to introduce the next driver to you.

The next few minutes were brutal. Your family stood opposite the faces of the team and you could feel his eyes glued to you, unmoving.

In typical Zamundan fashion, it’s in your father’s blood to brag about how great his country is and all its beauty. “And onto my eldest daughter, she’s quite the superstar. All her humanitarian work has brought eyes onto Zamunda. Y/n, aren’t you working on the STEM school project? She’s also a professor!” The King spoke with pride in his voice, making you want to hide in a corner.

A humble but nervous chuckle left your lips. “It was just a week of me teaching lectures, Baba.” Your words made the whole room laugh but his smile was the brightest. “But yes, the STEM project is still in its early days but a lot of students are interested which makes me happy.” You concluded with a small smile.

Lewis looked impressed. Wait. Since when did you care what anyone thought of your hard work? Especially a man that you knew would be a major distraction to the single lifestyle you’ve lived all these years. You had much to focus on and becoming Queen of Zamunda was at the top of your list.

But why not let loose a little? ‘Live a little’ as your sisters often say whenever you come back home exhausted.

“Is that so? Lewis here has his own foundation for kids in STEM, specifically for motorsport!” The tall team principal smiled and it took everything in you to look into the man’s eyes as you felt them on you.

“I could tell you more about it if you’d like.” Lewis spoke in a calm, low voice. You wanted to walk closer so that you could hear his words travel through you, wanting to listen to every word he had to say to you, every action he wanted to do to y-

Taking a breath and putting a soft smile on your face, you nodded. “I’d like that, thank you.” Talks of hot laps and tours started flying around but you couldn’t hear a word that was said. What was wrong with you? All this man had done was look into your eyes and you felt like you could melt. Lewis clearly used this gentlemanly charm to persuade everyone around him, including your father.

Watching him converse with your family had unleashed a new swarm of butterflies in your stomach, something you hadn’t truly felt in a long time. You had been with one or two people casually but none had ever satisfied you, only caring about your status as Princess. However, you had a gut feeling about something but you didn’t want to dwell on it yet.

“Shall we go for the tour now?” Toto’s voice boomed around the room with a clap of his hands.

Feeling a nudge on your arm, you turn to look at your mom as your attention was on the screens around the garage. “Are you going to bring him to Zamunda?” Your mother teased with a smile. Your eyebrows furrowed before you realised who she was referring to.

“Mother, I’d rather not talk about that now. Let’s just enjoy where we are now.” You put your hand on your mom’s then turned to look at the screen.

“He’d make a lovely prince. It’s okay to separate yourself from work, you know? I want you to live a little, my angel.” She continued, enveloping both her hands around yours.

You opened your mouth to speak but she beat you to it. “Don’t worry about your father. He’d be ecstatic if you brought this one home. You still have a lot of time left, Y/n.”

Knowing your mother was right, you breathed in and refocused your attention to qualifying. Lewis seemed to be doing well, even his driving looked attractive to you. Okay, calm it down girl.

After quali, the Mercedes hospitality was buzzing even though the skies were ever gray. Munching on a piece of cake, you offered a smile to those who would walk past and gawk at you. It was evident that F1 had made quite the big deal about your family merely attending a race weekend but you never expected this attention much on you.

A camera crew stayed outside and continuously took pictures of you sitting by your lonesome and you hoped for something to distract you from the feeling of being watched. Surprisingly, the crew began walking away after looking behind you for a split second and the cologne that suddenly surrounded you made it very clear who did it.

“Sorry if they were bothering you, your highness.” Lewis spoke, eventually standing in front of you yet not taking a seat across. Chuckling a bit, you looked up at him. “I thought we spoke about the title, Lewis.”

“Yes we did but I can’t let the media know you like that, only I’ve received the honour.” He smiled and there were the butterflies again. “If you’d like to sit down, you may.” You offered with the sweetest smile. Taking your offer, he never took his eyes off you.

It was quiet as he observed you. “What?” Looking like a deer in headlights, you placed your spoon down. “You’re a powerhouse. I’ve seen you represent your country and how much love you have for it. It’s admirable.”

You were taken aback. You hadn’t received such compliments from someone you were interested in. “Well, now I feel terrible because I’ve got no clue about your sport.” You spoke, covering your mouth with your floating hand.

“That’s okay, Princess.” All he did was say those words and you felt like a puddle all over again. “You’re doing that thing with your eyes again.” You pointed out, wondering if he could see right through your demeanour.

“What thing are my eyes doing, Y/n?”

“…I’d rather not say it in public.”

Lewis’ smirk widened as you said that. He thought it would be a challenge to try make a move on you as you seemed reserved unlike the rest of your family. “Why not? I’m quite curious to hear your thoughts.” He smiled, adjusting his arms to rest on the table.

“Not in your team’s hospitality suite.” You quickly replied, your eyes darting everywhere but him.

“Y/n.” Lewis just said your name and just like that, your thoughts became improper. Locking eyes with him, you knew that he was teasing you, something that you were never able to experience others.

“We can speak about our foundations over dinner!” You quickly suggested, barely registering what just came out of your mouth. “Dinner sounds perfect however that was supposed to be my line.” He joked and you couldn’t help but laugh.

Everything felt chaotic. You had returned to the hotel from the race which was extremely exhilarating and he had gotten a relatively high position which made you proud.

As you were leaving your seat in the garage a few hours ago, Lewis had approached you knowing very well that the cameras were watching the exchange between the two of you. “I forgot to mention how gorgeous you looked earlier.” He said as he was standing relatively close to you.

“Lewis! You can’t say that, the cameras are watching.” You whisper yelled, looking at the cameras pointed at the scene before them. All he did was laugh and turn on his heel before turning his head to you. “I’ll see you at 7 pm , your highness.” He winked and just like that, he was gone.

And that whole memory ran through your mind as you paced up and down your hotel room. You were all ready for the dinner but you were feeling something…different. It was normal for you to have dinners but this one had a certain tension hanging over it. You smoothed out your dress with your hands as you paced.

Another thing that drove you crazy was that you had no clue of what exactly was happening. You always knew the time, setting and guests of everything you did but now you were completely out of the loop but you had trust in him, as insane as it sounds.

The knock on your door pulled you out of your thoughts and you took a breath before turning the doorknob to reveal Lewis standing there with a bouquet of flowers you couldn’t recognise but your heart grew at the sight of them. Your eyes glided over him as you looked at his outfit, a white cardigan with black slacks and designer chunky shoes. He smiled and you almost fell to your knees just looking at him more relaxed and sexy.

“You look absolutely beautiful, Y/n.” He complimented, his own eyes moving all over your body. He couldn’t help but admire your beauty as you stood before him. You were the embodiment of a princess and you never failed to exude such energy as you did.

“Uh, would you like to come in? I just have to get my heels.” You spoke as you opened the door a little wider. The room smelt of a scent he couldn’t quite grasp but he definitely labelled it as an aphrodisiac because Lewis began feeling his hands getting hot. He made his way to the couch right by the large window as you closed the door.

You stood in the middle of the room with your fingers pinching your lip in nervousness. The tension could be cut with a knife with the way he was watching you. “Um so, how’d you plan this?” You asked, finally looking at Lewis but you noticed his eyes were slightly lower.

“Your sisters are quite the wingwomen.” He spoke, adjusting his body to sit comfortably.

“Right, right……”

A beat passed before he leaned forward. “Princess, is everything okay?”

“Do you think we could skip dinner? I never usually do this but I don’t think I can go another moment.” You blurted out, too afraid to see his reaction to your raunchy suggestion.

Another moment of silence passed and you felt defeated. You felt like you’d gone on too strong and that’s not what you envisioned at all.

“Y/n.” He called and you picked your head up to look up.

“C’mere.”

saint’s notes: you thought I was going to give you smut???? no 🤭 hope you enjoyed though! 🫶🏽

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in-abstrxcto · 4 months ago

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HAPPY 10TH ANNIVERSARY, WOLF 359!

Here's the Season 4 poster to celebrate!

To the cast and crew (if they somehow happen to see this) (I doubt any of them are on Tumblr so I'll just ramble to the void):

This show honestly changed my life. I know it's cliché, but really, it did. It also helped me as a writer — watching the AMAs to hear what the writers said and studying the scripts improved my skills exponentially. Furthermore, the plot, the voice talent, the sound design and the soundtrack are all crafted amazingly — you can really tell the show is brimming with passion! It's really a love letter to sci-fi fans too.. gosh, I could honestly talk about why I love this show for hours, but I'll keep it short. Essentially, if you see this, thank you for creating something so wonderful. Thank you for inspiring so many people. Thank you for creating such a great story.

To everyone else (I know it'll mostly be fans seeing this, but just in case one of my followers hasn't listened):

If you haven't listened to Wolf 359, I highly recommend it. 10/10 show. And it's definitely a good starting point in terms of fiction podcasts; since it's so cinematic, you can visualise everything you hear very easily, making it great to listen to! Also, for a show that's 10 years old, it aged really well. Many shows like that fall to the issue of having outdated jokes and references, but Wolf 359 is a truly timeless one.

#wolf 359 #hera #daniel jacobi #isabel lovelace #renee minkowski #doug eiffel #dr pryce #miranda pryce #mr cutter #marcus h cutter #rachel young #victor riemann #warren kepler

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daily-hanamura · 1 year ago

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If Rise is a proxy for the game trying to give Yu a thinly veiled "default romance", then her parallels with Yosuke and the way they interact with Yu make for a fascinating comparison

(aka follow me down this weird delusional rabbit hole. Strap in because this is going to be a long and very weird one.)

1. Similar patterns of flirting

Unlike Rise, Yosuke is of course a lot less intentional and a lot more oblivious to what he's actually doing, but his behaviour is actually very similar to Rise's in some ways.

For example, the both of them find an in with Yu through "being shown around" Inaba.

(actually there's a scene with naoto's first day at the school, where a few girls are trying to flirt with naoto using the same lines of showing him around, so that's fun.)

There's a difference in context here - Yosuke is playing that senpai-adjacent role for Yu, whereas Rise is asking Yu to play it for her (even though Inaba is Rise's hometown, and when you take her to souzai daigaku she says she's always wanted to go there).

But this difference is also important because...

Yosuke's type is someone he can look after. (Btw, this is an extremely common male response in Asia - that men like dating someone they can look after. Remember this because it'll come up again later.)

I think throughout the course of the game Yosuke is very much consistently someone that likes taking care of people - quite obviously he looks after Teddie, but he's also always looking out for Kanji and everyone else, actually.

But there's something that changes slightly between him and Yu - as their relationship develops, Yosuke becomes more willing to be the one being looked after, but by Yu especially! This is something that is picked up on by others in the group, such as when Kanji says that Yu tends to spoil Yosuke, or when Chie tells Yu that Yosuke is going to come begging him soon.

Neither Kanji nor Chie talk about how Yosuke asked them for help - because Yosuke, for the most part, is pretty resistant towards asking people for help... unless it's Yu. Yu is the exception in this regard, because where most people see Yosuke as being reliable, they also know that if Yosuke has issues, it's Yu that he turns to. And he does! In front of Yu, Yosuke lets himself be vulnerable, both in more serious settings but also in casual ones. Look at how Yosuke playfully ask Yu to "save him/them" (from Yukiko, Rise and Chie's cooking). It's a little dramatic. It's a little whiny. And it's all part of that role!

But this is exactly the kind of role that Rise is playing as well.

In Japanese culture, there is the concept of 甘え (amae), which is closely related to the (perhaps more commonly known) Chinese notion of 撒娇 (sājiāo). It's hard to explain this in English because it's not really a concept that exists in Western contexts in the same way, but I think it's important because Persona is ultimately a Japanese game, and so the cultural norms and contexts that inform the relationships there are important. It's been talked about in more detail by people smarter than me (see: Takeo Doi, 1971) but the tldr is that it refers to a kind of childishness employed as a means to seek indulgence from a loved one - it's a little bit affirmation, it's a little bit flirtation, but really, the point is looking for someone to care for them. And it works the same way for the other person as well - to indulge is to love! (Remember Yosuke's response of wanting someone he can look after? Yeah.)

When Rise drawls out the word "senpai" and whines a little, that's one example of her playing up that role so Yu would pamper her (actually I don't play in dub, so I'm not sure if she does this in EN too). But we see this with Ai as well, when Ai tells Yu to carry her shopping or buy her coffee. Ai is of course perfectly capable of doing both things, but the point is to have someone like you so much they do things for you.

Compare this to the way the others ask Yu for help - there's hesitation, and it's framed in a "if you have time, could you..." sort of manner and is markedly less playful. I think to some extent it's also their personalities, but that's kind of the point here.

I think it's important to caveat at this point that this "submissive" role during amae isn't, like, a fixed role that they assign themselves into in their relationship - critically, it's temporal, contextual and momentary. Yosuke and Rise are only playing up their childishness so they can get attention from Yu in that moment, but it in no way speaks to how they expect their relationship to function, because it's just brief instances of flirtation. For both Rise and Yosuke, their relationship with Yu is still primarily defined by their equalness and what they can do for Yu as well. It also goes both ways - Yu is also welcome to do the same with Rise and Yosuke! It's also very much a purposeful demonstration of vulnerability, because if you've read the signs wrongly, then it may not be perceived as flirting, just general annoyingness. Which is why...

I think they're both particularly sensitive about accidentally being a bother to Yu, and the way the both of them speak has these layers of boldness and shyness interspersed and folded into each other.

To put it another way, you can think of this indulgence as an extension of the love language of acts of service - and amae is essentially a way of pretending to be helpless to encourage that act of service. (this is an extremely dumbed down definition stripped of nuance)

The point here as Rise flirts with Yu in this manner... I think so does Yosuke, even if he's not totally conscious of it.

2. The shared fear of loneliness

Both Yosuke and Rise express this same fear - Yosuke's shadow reveals his fear of being alone so he actively surrounds himself with as many people as he can, while Rise reveals in her slink that she was a shy, lonely child and became an idol because she thought it would help her connect with people and make more friends. There's this powerful desire of acceptance on their part that forced them towards behaviour that they felt would make them desirable and liked - Yosuke makes jokes and buys food for his friends and tries to be a dependable big-brother type, and his shadow says he's only like that because he's terrified of being alone, while Rise's idol image is about being bright and enthusiastic and bubbly, but her vulnerable moments reveal her to be withdrawn and she says it was all an act.

I think there's a really interesting parallel here, because they both learn that it doesn't really work the way they hoped - the relationships that they had previously formed can be superficial (Yosuke talks about this point with Marie and Yu on the rooftop, while Rise learns that people only see Risette but not her), or temporary and easily forsaken (Yosuke doesn't really have anyone calling him back after his move, while Rise talks about how quickly people moved on from her).

Critically though, it's also in how they are resolved, and in both cases, Yu is the catalyst that helps them understand that not only is that desire normal and understandable, but that both that desire and their responses to it are all part of them. Yosuke's and Rise's cheerfulness and care are not any less meaningful just because of where that sentiment came from. There's no real Yosuke or real Rise, and while this is also a theme for the rest of the IT, I think it's with Yosuke and Rise especially that this particular thread of a fake self created to be accepted and help them make friends is especially pronounced.

(for Kanji, his violent, abrasive self was created to hide away and push people further away, while Naoto wasn't seeking acceptance amongst peers, but their individual ideal of whom they should be).

The distinction here is meaningful insofar as it then speaks to how Yosuke and Rise subsequently perceive Yu in relation to themselves and the rest of the team. For both of them, Yu was the first person where they actually felt Seen with, and in Rise's case, it's what sparked her attraction to him, with her starting to flirt aggressively with Yu after her rescue. I think that in Yosuke's case it's very much the same thing as well, which is how we have Yosuke calling Yu his 相棒 (aibou) shortly after the fight with Yosuke's shadow. I can't place exactly when Yosuke starts doing so, because it can be as early as Marie's slink rank 1 if you did it right after, but in their conversations after the fight at the liquor store, I think the foundation is already there.

In English, 相棒 is translated as partner, which I guess is a fair translation that is captured by the sentiment of "partners in crime". It's a term that is also used in, say, buddy cop pairs (like Reno and Rude in FF7. It's also how Adachi refers to himself, as Dojima's aibou), but it's intended to capture that essence of someone that you trust above and beyond everyone else. Working on a case and your boss and colleagues say no? Doesn't matter, you aibou's got your back. It's the person that you share this absolute connection with, that knows you like you know them, maybe even knows you more than you know yourself.

But imo there's a bit of nuance that is lost, because there's also the weight of exclusivity inherent in the term - you can have a lot of friends, but only one aibou. It's one of the highest, most intense and exclusive relationship that you can have with someone... platonically.

Kick that platonic label off and we find that Yosuke and Rise are the only two that end up attached to Yu with that same, absolute intent, and hold this similar wish for some exclusive relationship with Yu. By helping them understand their loneliness and what the intimacy of being seen means, Yu has triggered the same reaction in both Yosuke and Rise - just coloured slightly differently, romantic for Rise and platonic for Yosuke. But Yosuke's route wasn't even intended to be necessarily platonic so

3. They're the two that ask Yu about his type the most

I think that with a heteronormative lens, it's easy to interpret Rise's question as one coming from romantic interest and flirtations, while Yosuke's questions are coming from patterns of locker room talk, but fuck that, I think they're both testing the waters of romantic interest and looking to see what Yu would say.

Of course, if Yu takes that one opportunity he has to say Yosuke is his type, Yosuke gets flustered and his hair-trigger nohomo reaction kicks in... but then he goes into a thing where he talks about how yeah, he'd make a pretty good boyfriend! He likes Yu's answer here, he even has the little flower animation of happiness!

In contrast, if Yu picked Kanji, the conversation derails into a thing about Kanji's manliness. Furthermore, considering that Yosuke's romance route was cut but all of the previous conversations and interactions remained, there's no reason not to think that Yosuke wasn't responding positively to Yu's affirmations, even if he didn't necessarily understand what they meant at that time.

In the same way, if Yu responds positively or goes along with Rise's questions, Rise is also noticeably happy about it.

Because at the end of the day, they're not actually asking because they want to know what it is - they're asking because they want to hear Yu say that they are Yu's type. And I think Yosuke is guilty of this, even though he hadn't realised it yet.

#p4 #p4g #persona 4 #persona 4 golden #hanamura yosuke #yosuke hanamura #debated posting this one because im not even sure if im making sense to myself anymore but if you see my vision i am here to shake your hand #going in with a proper post today because my headcanon is not only very weird but also very very long #he's good with his queue

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yeonbam · 10 days ago

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jack and joke are soulmates in a way that is so exclusive yet contradictory to each other. it's the way no one can understand them like each other and the way no one can misunderstand them like each other. they know exactly what the other needs, at the same time they don't know how to be what the other needs. Both of them know their shortcomings, neither believe they're perfect. And each hurt they cause the other is a miscalculated one yet inflicted with awareness, each wound they heal for the other is the exact way the other wants it to be healed.

Choosing to open up to Jack about what he did at the hospital of all places was an act of driving a double-ended sword. As he stabs himself, he stabs jack too— only strangers stab you in the back, Joke stabs Jack in the front; jack saw it coming and he didn't at the same time. Joke's self destructive tendencies, his inability to forgive himself, makes him develop trust issues that prevent him from opening up and this indirectly sabotages the relationship before it starts.

As ama puts it, he trades Jack's freedom for never getting to see him again. the understanding of hurt inflicted is lodged within it. Jack never wanted to have his freedom stolen back without his knowledge. The culmination of all the stress and trauma and information he recieves in half a day leads to his outburst— to ask joke to never show his face again; this was the only way he could return the pain and inflict it on himself at the same time— by isolating (and he not only isolated from Joke but from his friends, only choosing to act with Save). Joke took his word for it this time because he loves Jack more than he did the first time they met, he believes himself to be the thorn in every relationship because all his solutions involve stealing— the one thing Jack asked him to stop doing.

both of them are traumatised and emotionally unstable due to what happened in the span of literally a day. Joke is so consumed by his guilt, he only wants to hurt himself thinking it will fix everything, Jack is so consumed by his pain he too goes to literally hurt himself in the hands of Boss' men thinking violence will give him answers as to why his life just turned upside down. And that moment between the life-and-death of their relationship, at the hospital, their pains gave rise to the worst possible misunderstanding for the moment. Jack's feeling of betrayal and saying things he doesn't mean, Joke's all-consuming guilt and not giving Jack the full story.

#its the way they hurt themselves in the same breath that they use to hurt the other #its so crazy #but they're so doomer soulmates vibes #it can be fixed through it will be fixed once boss is taken down #i know this ok trust me the real enemy is boss #and fuckass carbon #jack and joker #jack and joker u steal my heart

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kittybroker · 3 days ago

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hey everybody. I've decided for the next hour or so I will be having the inbox open for an AMA for the fun of it. I likely won't be able to answer every question and I won't answer any questions that are too personal (for obvious reasons). I'll tag everything with "#Kitty AMA" too. if it is fun I might do it again in the future too.

I would also like to apologize for the fact blogs been haphazardly active in the last while unfortunately due to personal issues and just not finding time and it's likely to stay that way for the foreseeable future. Currently attempting to get 6 posts a day out or so.

#text post #technically inbox is actually open at all times to questions and such but kind of bored so just formalizing it as ama for the time being

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pynkhues · 9 months ago

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okay. sophie. i've watched season one of the newsreader and i have so many thoughts and feelings?? the main one is frustration because this show is so close to being phenomenal but i'm constantly reworking it in my head while watching for maximum emotional impact. but putting that aside, it's just so nice to have emotional disasters on my screen again. i didn't even know that anna torv constantly on the verge of losing her shit was something i needed but by god do i deserve to watch it happen! and sam reid as a bumbling bisexual in a polyester blend is the cherry on top. thank you for the rec

Haha, I'm so glad you liked it! It's definitely flawed as a series and I think falls victim to the fact that Australian networks don't / can't afford more than 3 drafts of a script (in comparison, American and UK networks typically fund upwards of 6), but I think there's a lot to love about it too! The performances are a lot of fun, and the time period they chose to creatively operate in I think is really interesting both in terms of the stories and news it covers, but also in terms of style and sets?

My sister actually did a week's work on s3 recently for a big set piece and so I have a little inside goss about the new season too which is making me excited to see where they're taking it.

#joanna werner who's the lead producer too i really like but she's reaaaaally only done children's tv before #this is her first time lead producing an adult drama #which i think shows #she was also working as a jr producer + being mentored by someone my mum knows well on clickbait #and clickbait is AWFUL lmao #so i'm very curious as to what that was like behind the scenes #but yes #totally get your criticisms both here and in the other post too haha #australian tv is unfortunately often deeply flawed as a result of how our writers rooms work where nothing quite gets developed enough #and no one being able to ever work full time on a show #but alas #my biggest issue in s2 was actually dale's heel turn which i don't think was built to well at all #especially because i feel like they do tend to write his sexuality and all that that encompasses pretty well #the newsreader #tv asks #welcome to my ama

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put-them-thangs-away · 12 days ago

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“WE’LL STILL HAVE PROBLEMS IF I’M THE ISSUE” what the fuck joke also what the fuck ama how are you saying he made too many mistakes???? I’M REALLY IRRITATED ABOUT ALL THIS SHIT WHY TF IS HE BEING DEMONIZED AS IF NO ONE ELSE HAS FUCKED UP i hate it here

#jack and joker #jack & joker #jack and joker the series #jack & joker the series #screaming edens

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purpleyoonn · 2 years ago

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The Line Between Love and War 7

C H A P T E R 7:

THE AMA’S AND BLUSHING

“It is said that the night sky is made up of tiny wishes that humans were never able to fulfill. That the stars only became bright by the fulfillment of those wishes. In your eyes, the stars that shine never seemed real, your childhood wishes dark and dim as you grow. But now, now you understand the twinkle in their eyes as they look down at you.”

Summary: Your experiences told you that soulmates were something you would never have the pleasure of having; something not given to you because of who you are, despite the soulmark that resides on your inner left wrist. During your solo trip to Los Angeles, you find out that you are more than capable, that your soulmates had been waiting for you for a long time, and would not be letting you go anytime soon.

Genre: soulmate au, bts au, idol bts, polyamory relationship, eventual smut

Paring: Idol!BTS x autistic!mc

Status: Ongoing (randomly updated)

Warnings: mental illness, talk of disability, lots of angst, miscommunication, feelings of depression, feelings of isolation, polyamory bts, stalking, dangerous behavior, eventual smut,

Chapter Warnings: anxious feelings, some drama, insecurities, becky g to the rescue, safety issues come up, not too much going on, a slight shutdown*, relationship first, actual soulmate bonding begins now,

Taglist: @azazel-nyx @yuzon3 @hannahdinse8 @quirkybtsarmy @mageprincess7 @fluffy-canada-pancakes @suckerforv @chaoticthingpizza @drissteele @carolinexkpop @avadakadabra93 @lachimolala22019 @justaweird0 @singukieee @welcometomyworld13 @toughbook @kimana122 @kpopmultistantrashsstuff @0funsite0 @joyless-living @sinceritythatcouldntbedelivered @elliott-calls @psychosupernatural @kyuupidwrites

*shutdown: an autism shutdown, or autistic shutdown, is when a person’s brain becomes so overloaded they can’t control reactions or they become totally unresponsive or frozen. Shutdowns are related to meltdowns. In the case of a shutdown, the person will feel as though they might be trapped in their body, unable to move or respond to any external stimulus.

Masterlist // Chapter 6 // Chapter 8

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Previously on The Line Between Love and War:

You nod your head at his question, not knowing if you could accurately answer his question without knowing the context or possible situation he could be referring to. Namjoon just takes your answer for what it was, a probability. Nodding in his own way, he then goes to ask how you feel about attending the American Music Awards that were to take place the next day.

“If it’s okay, I think I would like to go, but I don’t want to be on the red carpet. I don’t want to take the event away from you all and I don’t think I’m comfortable with being on it.” You were honest with him, something he would never fault you for. He was happy you were being honest with him and with yourself.

“Don’t worry baby, we can work things out with Seungho. I’m glad you are going with us though. I know we would feel more at ease with you by our sides.” He moved forward, catching you slightly off guard as he placed a sweet kiss to your cheek before getting up and leaving you to your thoughts and the wordsearch across your lap.

You were dreaming, you had to be. Like, there was no other option that your brain agreed with. You had to be dreaming, and your fantasy seemed way to out of the park to be considered real.

You were currently in a light purple, almost lavender, silk soft dress. It had straps that were a couple inches in width, making you feel more comfortable with the fact that it had a deeper cleavage then you were used to. The dress went to the floor, and the stylist gave you heels to wear. It showed off your soulmarks, something the boys were extremely happy with.

There was something so primal about your soulmate showing off their soul mark, their connection to you. The boys were possessive in nature, something anyone could see, and it extended to you. You were their mate and for you to have your mark on display, it had them buzzing.

You had never worn heels before and waddled like a baby deer as you entered the room the boys told you to go into when you were done. It’s where you knew you had to be dreaming as most of the boys were in various stages of undress, Namjoon only in his boxers as he stood near the clothing rack.

You were gaping at them, wide-eyed for a couple of seconds before blinking quickly, trying to figure out if you were truly seeing what was in front of you.

There was no way you weren’t dreaming. It makes sense.

Only you would come up with a dream where BTS were your soulmates and they were currently undressed in front of you. There was no way it was reality.

Taehyung was the first to notice you, smiling big as he moved to where you were standing, watching the door be closed by Seungho. You were just standing there, eyes wide as you practically stared at the rest getting dressed. He didn’t care about his own state of undress, pants barely buttoned as he walked in front of you.

He couldn’t tell what you were thinking, but he had seen the look in your eyes before. The small glint in the corner where you questioned everything. You wore it a lot in your dreams where you tried to rationalize everything. He could only guess that you thought you were dreaming, more distinctly you thought you were dreaming that they were your soulmates.

He knew from your dreams over the past week that you still didn’t truly believe that you were their missing soulmate. It hurt sometimes, Jimin clinging to him as they talked about how they would convince you, past what they were already doing.

“Hey baby.” Your eyes shifted to now focus on Taehyung, who kissed you on the forehead before gripping your hands in his and leading you to the small two-seater that was next to his dressing area. It was then that the others began to notice you were in the room.

“Hey pretty girl.” Hobi had come up with his shirt half unbuttoned to greet you, hand locking with yours as his eyes moved slowly down your figure, taking in every inch of you he could see. It had you growing flustered, their touch slowly moving the dreamlike haze from your eyes.

“Hi Hobi.” Your voice was quiet as you tried to hide the blush growing on your cheeks. Now that their touch was bringing you back, you were beginning to grow flustered at the amount of skin the boys were slowly covering. It seemed they were trying to see how slowly they could get dressed.

Once they realized you were in the room, watching them get dressed, their stage personas came out and they made to see how quickly they could fluster their youngest mate. Jimin especially was having fun with this, winking at you as he slowly pulled his pants up his thighs and over his hips. He had you looking away the fastest, a win in his eyes, seeing the blush you had on your neck and cheeks.

Jungkook, however, saw things differently. He was the first to finish getting ready and was quick to move to where you were sitting and wrap you up in his arms. He hooked his chin over your shoulder and snuggled in close, loving the blush that was accompanied by the warmth of your arms covering his own that wrapped across your stomach.

“You look beautiful in this dress, baby.” His words brushed across your shoulders causing tingles to move down your spine, both his tone and his breath across your skin being the cause. You could practically feel the heat of his words against you, the temperature in the room spiking because of it.

“You look good too, Koo.” You turn to look at him, your eye catching on the way he played with his lip piercing. You didn’t even catch his eyes looking you over as you turned back around.

“Jungkook, you’re going to get your suit wrinkled. Come here, princess.” Jin had come up to you, knowing that you were getting overwhelmed and Jungkook was about to catch the attention of their head stylist, none of them wanting to witness her fury at the sight of wrinkled clothing.

He helped you stand up, hands on your waist as he held you steady on your still wobbly legs. Heels were not your thing and you didn’t think you would ever get used to them. It was then you realized that everyone was ready, only a few hair touchups needed from the game Jimin and Yoongi were playing.

“You really do look beautiful, baby. This dress looks amazing on you.” He grinned, loving the purple on you knowing what it represented to them. You just reached down, rubbing slightly at your heels as you responded.

“Yeah well, my ankles aren’t going to look so amazing once the night is over. I feel like a newborn deer.” Your words were rung true by you trying to walk forward, legs shaking and almost falling over.

Taehyung caught you, a hand on your back as he steadied you. He held a smile on his lips as helped you walk to the door where the others were now waiting.

“Let’s go my deer.” You only shook your head at his attempt to make you smile, the others laughing at Taehyung’s pun.

The plan was for you to leave the vehicle after the boys exit for the red carpet. You would be driven a little further down where you would be able to walk behind the red carpet backdrop and in to the Microsoft Theater where the awards would be taking place.

Seungho would accompany you into the theater and help you find where you were to be seated. You were assured by the boys and Sejin that you would have your own seat with the boys, that you would be able to sit there while you waited for the boys to join you.

There were three other security members with the boys, making sure nothing happened while on the carpet, doing interviews and taking pictures. They were also to ensure that nothing negative was said about you or the bond, which didn’t matter so much to you as it did to the boys.

The car was not silent when you arrived, each of the boys moving to hug you and reassure you that they were only seconds away if needed. Namjoon especially was worried, knowing exactly how the media would spin even the slightest breath in a negative way.

“Boys, please. It will be okay. I will have Seungho with me and I will just be seated in our assigned spots. Nothing is going to happen.” Okay, maybe you were optimistic about everything right now, but it was only to save face. You were really anxious about the entire night, not wanting to do anything that would upset anyone, especially the boys or army.

Once the door was opened by one of the security team, the boys sent you worried glances as they exited the car, Jin blowing you a kiss before the door closed behind them. You could see all of the photographers lined up and already taking pictures of the boys, some even trying to catch a glance of you in the car.

It was already rumored that you would be in attendance, a picture of the seating arrangements having been leaked the day before when it was being set up. This had the boys worried, but everyone was reassured by Sejin that the team had been prepared for this.

The management team for the boys had already prepared in the event that their last mate would be found, knowing the amount of attention that would be aimed your way. They knew people would try and do anything to get even the smallest glance or fact about you.

The headphones Yoongi had bought for you, the ones you wore to the concert, had already been sold out the following day. Army worked quick in finding out which ones you wore and acted fast, buying out the entire stock through multiple stores.

To say you were shocked was an understatement. Taehyung had even taken a short video of you and posted it to twitter with the caption “army at it again”. In the video, you had your mouth open wide in shock as you look at the website for the store Yoongi had gotten the headphones from. Jungkook was leaning over the back of the couch to look at your screen and pointing at it, laughing as he knows extremely well how quick army could be.

Seungho had opened the door for you when the car stopped again, this time towards the back where you could safely make your way to the theater and to your seats.

“Are you ready for your first appearance, Y/n?” He holds his hand out to help you out of the car as he smiles at you.

“Not at all.” You smile back, thoroughly in awe at how quick your life changed. Just a week ago, you were in your hotel room about to make your way to the Line store, and now you were at the AMA’s with your idol soulmates.

You were quiet as Seungho led you through the slightly narrow walkway and into the theater where you were met by one of the coordinators. After a quick talk where he had to show his badge and your own, he led you down to where the artists would be sitting.

While you were looking around the theater in awe, the boys were being interviewed and having their pictures taken on the carpet.

“Now, I think congratulations are in order. I believe everyone has seen the announcement of you guys finding your final soulmate.” The interviewer gestures to the surrounding people as she spoke.

“Is there anything you can tell us about your final soulmate?” She finally asks the question the boys were waiting for. Namjoon internally sighs as he moves to answer.

“She is the sweetest person. She has a big heart and it feels like we’ve known her forever.” He doesn’t even have to fake the smile or glint in his eyes as he talks about you. Jimin moves forward a little as he leans closer to one of the microphones.

“Y/n is beautiful and we are doing our…best to get to know her better.” He stumbles a bit as he tries to find the right word but he gets a pat on the back from Namjoon, making him feel he did good.

“Well, I’m sure army is extremely happy that your bond is now complete.” Yoongi wants to roll his eyes at the woman’s comment, knowing that her tone was anything but happy.

“We actually have another question that has come in from some comments on our twitter page. The fans want to know if your final mate is an army and who her bias is?” This question has the boys looking at each other, wondering if they should answer or not. Jin decides to take the microphone.

“She is army and her bias is BTS.” The boys all internally applaud their eldest mate for his quick thinking, some even trying not to roll their eyes at his blatant wink at the end.

The woman just laughs, obviously fake as she was hoping to stir up some kind of drama. She tries to ask another question but is told by one of their team that her time was over. She doesn’t even say any goodbye as she walks away from them, her cameraman following.

“Wow.” Jungkook mutters under his breath, Hobi agreeing.

“I knew we would get some questions about Y/n, but not like that.” Taehyung says low, knowing they don’t need anyone listening in, despite speaking in their native Korean. They never knew who could translate or speak their language while in the states. Look at you, they didn’t expect for you to be able to speak almost fluent Korean when they found you.

Almost every question they had received so far, besides one of the interviewers they were more familiar with, had been about you. And while they loved that they were able to talk about you and show the world how much they already loved you, it made some of the boys feel weird.

-*-*-

You had found your seats, almost right up front with an amazing view of the stage when a man had walked up to you. Seungho was quick to usher you behind him as he moved forward to stop the man from coming any further.

“Excuse me Miss, you cannot sit there. I’m going to have to ask you to move to the designated seat filler area until the show starts.” Seat fillers were regular people who had to go through some kind of vetting process to be able to fill the seats within award shows. They typically moved from seat to seat so it looked like the audience was always full whenever an artists had to leave.

Seungho, who held both of your passes, just looked at the man and held his hand up, preventing the man from getting closer to you like he was trying to do.

“We have our passes right here. This is her artist pass.” He hands the man your pass hoping this would resolve the issue.

“Is this some kind of joke?” The man now looks angry as he holds up your artist pass with your name on it and the logo for BTS, the word soulmate accompanied underneath in bold writing. He tries to move past Seungho to grab your arm but Seungho is quick to push the man away.

“I can assure you this is not a joke.” You were quiet as Seungho moves to protect you from the now visibly angry man.

“I’ve never seen this pass before. It doesn’t even look like an artist pass. I’m going to have to ask you to leave if you don’t move to the seat filler area.” He spits at you both like he would be just as happy to physically remove you.

“Why would you think this is a joke, Sir?” You ask the man, making both heads turn towards you, Seungho with a weary look and the man who seems to pause at hearing you speak.

“There is no way you can be their soulmate. Look at you.” He gestures to you, not even caring that other people were now looking your way, other artists and celebrities who had now begun to enter the theater for the awards show.

The words coming from this man’s mouth make Seungho’s blood boil. Of the week he has known you and been assigned to be your head security, he has seen how insecure you had been about everything, including your looks. He is aware that there is some trauma from your home life that aids into your insecurities, but he doesn’t know the full story.

Either way, that is never how you should talk to or treat someone. But before he could say anything, someone else interrupts.

“Oh my goodness, girl! You look amazing!” You see Becky G walking up to you and bringing you into a hug. To say you were starstruck was an understatement. You had been watching her videos since she was on YouTube, growing up listening to her songs.

When she pulls back from the hug, she turns around to face the man. “Is there something wrong?” She has an arm around you and the other on her hip as the speaks to the worker. He just starts to sputter like a fish, trying to figure out what to say.

“You know this woman?” Was what he managed to spit out, looking between you and Becky with confusion.

“Of course! She is one of my friend J-Hope’s mates.” She gestures to the two couches that have the words “BTS and Soulmate” on the cards resting on the cushions. Becky looked between the man and the placard with a raised eyebrow, not even waiting before taking your pass from his hands and handing it to Seungho.

“What’s going on here, baby?” Namjoon asks, looking at the scene in front of him. They had heard as they were walking towards their seats and you, that there was a commotion going on. The rushed to where they knew their seats were, just hoping no one was giving you any sort of trouble.

“Nothing Sirs. I just didn’t uh, didn’t realize—” The man began to stutter, trying to think of a response that wouldn’t get him into trouble when Seungho interrupted him.

“He tried to remove Y/n from her seat as he didn’t think she was your mate or belonged with you. Miss Becky came and helped her when she saw what was going on.” Seungho explained, causing the group to glare at the man after sending smiles towards Becky who was still standing with you.

At the audience you were receiving, the main coordinator for the event had come down to see what was going on. It was at this point that Jimin and Hobi decided to come over to you, checking on you and give thanks to Becky.

“Here baby. Why don’t you sit here with me.” Jimin spoke softly to you, not knowing how this incident could have affected you; you were pretty silent as you looked up at him. He was unable to read your emotions, causing him a little panic as he brought you over to the second couch, sitting you in the middle where he knew you would be surrounded by them.

You watched Jimin fuss over you, trying to push the words from your lips to tell him what happened. You could hear Hobi and Becky talking, him wanting to get her story as he also greeted his old friend.

You turned your head, looking for Namjoon only to see him talking to the head coordinator as the man was escorted away. You watched the woman gesture your way and the firm nod from Namjoon.

He came over first, kneeling in front of you as he grabbed your hands to hold.

“Baby, the main coordinator is going to come over to apologize for the coordinator and for his actions. I just wanted to let you know.” He stood up but continued to hold your hand as the woman walked over.

“Hello Y/n. My name is Susan and I am the main coordinator for the American Music Awards. I just wanted to apologize for the actions of Tim and to let you know it will never happen again. If there is anything you need for the night, please don’t be afraid to let one of us know. I will have two additional guards up front for you and you can let either of them know if you have any problems, okay?” Susan had a kind expression on as she talked to you. She seemed genuine which helped to soften the emotions you were holding in.

“Thank you.” You managed to push out, the words sounding like a mumble as you did so. It made you worry that she wasn’t going to hear you, but the smile and no you received was a relief that you didn’t have to try and repeat yourself.

Susan said a couple more words to Namjoon before leaving. Namjoon took his spot on your other side, while Hobi sat next to him. Namjoon had an arm around you while Jimin had a hand on your thigh, rubbing circles into the fabric covering your skin.

“We should have been with you.” Namjoon muttered under his breath as his grip on your waist tightened. He could see the nail marks on his palm, could feel them on forming on his palm as they were being interviewed. He knew it wasn’t his doing and could only imagine what was happening for you to do that.

He moved his hand, turning your palm over so he could see your own palm, to see the red and irritated marks. He didn’t say anything as you watched him bring your palm up to your lips, kissing at your unfortunate habit.

The lights began to go down as the stage was lit up. You could see the microphone being set up and the curtains being drawn as you sat back in your seat. There were so many things you wanted to say, but you knew that you wouldn’t be able to get them out.

“We’re here baby.” Jimin whispered as the cameramen began to film the crowd, moving passing your small group as they did so. You could feel the familiar warmth moving up your spine as your bond began to settle one more. Ease moving through your body as the tension left, excitement now filling your body as the host walked on stage to start the show.

-*-*-

During their ending performance, the boys made sure to keep you in their line of sight, unknowingly making some of the cameramen record you for reaction videos. You were incredibly self conscious, especially after that coordinator’s comments earlier. You tried to ignore the camera’s but you kept fiddling with your bracelet and fingers.

When their performance was over, you stood up and clapped for them, the camera still on you even as your boys walked off stage. It was nerve wracking for you and you honestly couldn’t wait for the cameramen to leave.

However, despite the small incident in the beginning, and the annoying cameramen, the night was amazing.

The boys were nominated for and won Artist of the Year, Favorite Pop Duo/Group, and Favorite Pop Song with Butter. You were unbelievably proud and couldn’t stop smiling the entire way home, feeling like a proud army as the boys cheered and danced around in the car.

They planned to have a live for armies once at the hotel, after showering and changing. They decided to skip the after party, not really wanting to go anyways, but also just wanting to chill and relax at the hotel. You had decided with Seungho that while the boys were changing and showering that you would go to the store and get snacks and a small cake for them.

You didn’t need to shower quiet yet, just deciding to wash you face and change into comfy clothes once you got to the room. The boys had showered together in small pairs, not wanting to waste water and wanting to be done faster.

As they showered, you left a note for them that you would be taking Seungho with you. Surprisingly, you managed to get snacks and drinks back to the room before they even noticed you were gone. You had managed to make the couch and table look nice, decorating it with snacks and the small cake. You even got champagne and glasses out so they could celebrate normally.

When Namjoon walked out and saw your efforts, he didn’t even blink before he was walking to you and pressing a soft kiss to your lips.

“Thank you, baby.” He whispered against your lips, opening his eyes to see your own open wide in shock. He took a step back, about to ask you what was wrong before his own eyes widened.

“Oh my, baby I’m so sorry. I didn’t even think.” Namjoon spoke quickly, his hands held up as he apologized. He had taken your first kiss without a thought in his mind. He began to pace back and forth in his own little area as you stared ahead, your cheeks and neck entirely red as you couldn’t help the blush from forming.

Kim Namjoon was your first kiss. And it wasn’t a dream.

You tried to get his attention, but it was no use as he moved back and forth. Finally, you decided to just move to him, hugging him and catching him off guard. When he stopped pacing, you looked up at him, arms still around his middle.

“It’s okay.” You smiled up at him before moving away quickly, your own embarrassment catching up to you as you began to fluff the pillows on the couch and move the snacks around as you waited for the others to be done.

Namjoon couldn’t help but to blush as well, smiling down at you as he moved to grab his phone for the live. He set it up on the entertainment center across from the couch, leaning it up against the television. They hadn’t wanted to bother Sejin for his phone stand, so they went with this.

By the time everyone was done and ready, the blush on your cheeks had barely gone away, alerting everyone to your own feelings.

“What happened baby?” Jimin had smirked your direction, his tone light and teasing as he leaned on the couch.

“I uh- I kissed her.” Namjoon blurted out, making your entire bond group gawk at the tall man. Taehyung couldn’t help but to start clapping.

“Wow, Joonie! Didn’t think you had it in you.” The boys began to tease their mate, each of them getting their fill before the camera turned on and the live started.

You were sitting in the kitchen at first, your own little plate of snacks on the table as you watched them do their live from your phone, wanting to read the comments. You listened to them joke around and thank Army before the comments turned to you.

“Is Y/n okay?”

“What happened to Y/n before the show started?”

“Did Y/n almost get kicked out?”

You turned your head after a couple comments, wanting to know if the boys had seen them or not. By the way Jimin and Jungkook, who both had their own phones out for the live, turned to the others and whispered or pointed, you knew they had.

“Is Y/n okay?” Namjoon read the comment aloud, turning to Jin before answering.

“Y/n is fine, everybody. There was an incident before the show started, but everything was handled pretty quickly.” Namjoon did his best to respond in a way that didn’t explain what happened but let everyone watching know that it was settled.

“She is actually here now, watching the live as well.” Namjoon added on at the end, wanting to ensure army that you really were okay. They all were happy for how concerned their fans were for you, it made their hearts swell even larger for army.

He gestured for you to come over, much to your own contented feelings for where you were sitting. Seeing your hesitation, Jimin spoke to the camera, “Be right back army!” before moving over to where you were, placing his arms on either side of you and caging you in against the table.

“Baby girl. You don’t have to come over, but it would ease the worry and concern that army have for you. If you don’t want to, you don’t, you can always just shout out that you are okay and that everything is fine.” Jimin whispered to, remembering the conversation you had with them about being in front of the camera.

You looked over to where the boys were, trying to chat and joke around while waiting to see if you would come over. You could see them glancing over every now and then.

You knew you would probably be brought into a vilve at some point, and figure now was as good a time as any to do it. You were a part of BTS whether you liked it or not, and this was a part of the territory.

“Okay.” You whisper back, looking up at Jimin as he began to grin down at you, placing a quick kiss on your lips before moving back, winking at you and bringing you over to where Jungkook and Jin had made space for you to sit.

You felt awkward, wondering how the boys did this all the time as you relaxed into the couch. Jin and Jungkook both put an arm behind you, Jin rubbing his hand in small circles on your back.

“Army, this is our final soulmate, Y/n. Please love her like you love us.” Hobi spoke up, large smile on his lips as he gestured to you, making you smile back and wave shyly at the camera.

“Hello Army. Thank you for your concern. I am doing okay.” You answer the previously asked question, not knowing what else to say. Taehyung, thankfully, saved you from further embarrassment as he shouted out “Yoongi, marry me!”

The rest of the live turned out better than you thought. There were not many questions aimed your way, but you shared that your favorite color was blue, you were from California, and that your ult kpop groups were BTS (of course), Ateez, Iz*one, and Twice, but that you also listened to others as well.

The boys also learned something new, not even realizing that you listened to other groups besides them. They had gotten a little jealous that you liked another kpop boy group, but would wait until later to tease you.

The night ended with plenty more kisses and cuddles after the live ended, discussions of how the week would look, and falling asleep in each other’s arms as you squeezed in together on Jin and Yoongi’s bed.

Next Chapter

#bts #bts au #bts idol au #bts soulmate #bts soulmate au #bts polyamory #bts poly #bts poly!au #bts poly au #bts poly!#bts x reader #poly!bts x reader #bts x autistic!mc #bts x autistic!reader #autistic!mc #autistic reader #purpleyoonn #the line between love and war

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