#this was also a big year for me in terms of doodles because for the first year basically ever I actually Did doodle

[arolesbianism]

New yearly art summary time 👍

I feel this this year has been a very weird time for my art style and how I draw in general, but I like to think it’s been a fairly positive year for my art even if I didn’t draw as much this year as I have for past ones

Past years 👍

[cursedcola]

Prompt: "Will You Marry Me?" - Proposal Headcannons Characters: Everyone :) Part(s): Heartslabyul, Savanaclaw, Octavinelle (Here!), Scarabia, Pomefiore, Ignihyde, Diasomnia(Pt.1)(Pt.2) Fandom: Twisted Wonderland Warning(s): None. I mean, unless you don't want to marry any of them. Just don't read if that's the case. Note: These are all if he is the one proposing btw. I've been thinking about maybe programming a small fan-made mini-otome using these ideas. Just for some practice for school while also being self indulgent hehe

Azul Ashengrotto

Fortune. Azul is one fortunate soul. At least, not he thinks himself to be.

and to think that it's because of sheer luck. He did not work for you. He did not climb or claw or plan for you. He did nothing.

No, you chose him. You saw him at his lowest and decided that he was worth becoming friends with. You actively sought him out...just to spend time at his side. Regularly. You enjoyed Azul's company

and over time, he grew to enjoy yours. Immensely. Like a giddy school-girl, his heart fluttered at the thought of you and all his notebooks were covered in doodle hearts.

This was it for him. Azul is a one and done kind of man. It’s you or it’s no one. Which means that it obviously is going to be you because hello??? Azul is not a quitter.

During your younger years as students….he may have been a bit too ambitious. In other words, Azul has proposed many times

And in turn has been rejected. Many. Times.

It began passively. He’d mention here and there his future plans for after schooling. Try to talk himself up, yeah? He’s going to be a big business man, isn’t that just perfect husband material? He can take care of you easily so there’s no need to stress.

Naturally you pushed off these moments as daydreaming and casual joking. Nothing serious. So he ups his game. It just so happens that he mistakenly got a bridal magazine in the mail…oh, look at these dresses and suits! So fancy. So beautiful…oh, you would look absolutely darling in one.

….oh sweet merciful seven please take the HINT. He is LITERALLY throwing himself at you

He ups his game. Again. A romantic candle lit dinner for two. The works. Jazz music, slow dancing, good company, and the casual proposal y’know just your average date.

You have to be doing it on purpose

In your defense. He did not flat out say “will you marry me,” because he chickened out. Instead he asked if you’d like to live with him after graduation as…roommates.

The world is out to get this poor man. It is. It truly just wants him to crash and burn in embarrassment. The way you laughed and went “I think we’re a bit more than that, don’t you think?” HAUNTS him

He screamed into his pillow that night. For hours. Floyd still gives him shit for it

Life continues this way. For reasons unknown…he just couldn’t bring himself to be direct. Which is so unlike Azul considering he spent years toughening himself up.

Maybe deep down he did fear that things wouldn’t work out. A merman and a human…what if you did not want to lige in the sea? What if his body could not sustain human form for long term? Maybe he wanted you to take initiative and prove him wrong. Eventually he did give up.

At least until you both aged into the “roommates”he dreamed about. There were trials and compromise. He never thought to have two homes, one by the ocean and one literally inside of it. Life was perfect….just without the title. And on one random night, Azul thinks “One more time,”. No elaborate ruse. No trickery to get you to ask him. Just….

“Will you marry me?,” Azul whispered into your shoulder. You both lay together in your shared bedroom with nothing but the sound of crashing waves coming in from the outside. Your steady breathing halts, proving that you heard him. With a sigh, he reaches to massage your scalp, “I do not know if you have realized by now…no, I am sure of it. No one is that dense. I won’t pry for why you have ignored my past attempts…all I ask is that you answer this. Will you marry me, (Y/N)? Having you at my side has truly made me the most fortunate man alive,”

{ A black pearl over a gold band. One of the most ultimate displays of wealth. Azul is well aware that this is not the traditional pathway. He could have easily acquired a ‘genuine’ Pearl, perhaps a diamond - but no. You are a rarity. A true jewel. Only a ring worthy to reflect that is worth buying. You were the most unexpected thing and are now the most cherished. This ring represents that,}

Jade Leech

The want caught him by surprise one day, which is rare. Jade is never thrown off guard. At least, not easily.

Then again, you have always been the most difficult person for him to predict. Something he finds very charming since there is always an upbeat atmosphere wherever you go. If his days were a dimming flame, you would be just the right amount of Co2 to spark some fun - not that he would easily admit to it.

Albeit so, Jade is not blind to his emotions. He hides them well underneath a polite smile - but they are there. He is aware of them.

Which is why he snatched you up early on. A relationship was the last thing he thought to find on the surface (or in general, honestly), but Jade knows what he wants when he sees it.

He merely asks you on a date with confidence. You accept, and the process repeats until an unspoken bond formed between the two of you. Not a soul in the nearby vicinity would dare make a move on you with his lingering presence. Jade was pacified, entertained, and happily content with your circumstance.

A circumstance that Jade gets maybe a bit too comfortable with. Just like surprise, it takes a lot for Jade for feel secure. The only person he has truly felt that with is his brother. This lack of overbearing responsibility, where something is being unspoken. No ulterior motive or underlying tone in your actions that make him have to over-analyze.

In the beginning he thought of your bluntness as an extra entertainment factor. Something that he could count on to make those brief unpredictable situations amusing. Yet, as time passed he notices that it's comforting. When he's with you, Jade turns his brain off. Not entirely, of course. He still needs to throw in witty quips and fluster you at LEAST twice per day.

but it's different. It's a different comfort than what he feels with his sibling or with his friend. It's new, and strangely similar to how he feels when he forages while hiking. Perhaps finding peace in another person...maybe there is merit. Hah. Yet another surprise.

On an evening long past curfew, Jade was tending to his botany collection and miniature greenhouse. You sat on his bed, watching videos on your phone. It was almost like you weren't there with him, yet not since he felt your presence. However, there was no pressure to talk or be attentive. He found himself enjoying your presence alone, and it slipped.

"If this is how our days will be when we live together, then perhaps sharing one life is not as inconceivable as I once thought," he said amidst trimming one of his herb plants. Jade turns curiously when he hears a thump from behind, and sees you gawking at him. You had lost your grip on the cell phone, and it fell to the ground.

He eyes you suspiciously. What's startled you? He doubts that any video could render you speechless.

....he spoke aloud, yes? Not in his head. Now it's Jade's turn to lose his composure.

Another surprise, but this is his own doing. Jade has not had a slip of the tongue since his childhood. Even then it was rare. He's never experienced this kind of mess-up...yet, you don't appear appalled.

Jade places the clippers down, and coughs into his gloved hand, "well, it appears I have gotten a loose tongue. It must be from your influence, no doubt". He stands, and moves to sit next to you on his bed, "I've never spoken out of place before, you know. Do you know what this means? I've become weak...and perhaps it it is time you take responsibility for these newfound emotions. I fully intend for many moments like these to happen, and for you to not leave my side. When it is time to leave this place, I believe you will join me. No, I am certain of it"

{An eye of lapis. A reminder that he is always watching - waiting, to see you again. The gem is not see-through. It’s a tough stone. Yet it is beautiful and is appreciated nonetheless. Enough said}

Floyd leech

At first, you believed him to have an obsession. Many did, actually.

The judgement isn't uncalled for either. Floyd's emotions towards you are very strong. With the way he loves to tease and follow you around - he's got a deep attachment. He's always demanding your attention, pulling you from your duties, starting trouble, and nosy. Floyd is oh so nosy and into everything in your life.

You're a toy. His little Shrimpy. The plaything that he absolutely adores and loves to watch. You're the Friday night sitcom to his late-90s grandma.

That's how you see it because that's how he portrays it. With others in agreeance, it is easy to overlook the small undertones in his actions. Especially since he's a touchy and emotional person normally.

Somehow, Floyd had himself tricked as well. He didn't akin his emotions to obsession, but he did think that you were a toy that he would

eventually out-grow. At the start, it really was just a game for him. He liked your reactions and therefore decided to keep you around.

Yet, he never got bored. Eventually the fun events around you stopped being what he found interesting, and instead he liked you alone. Floyd being Floyd instantly tried to confess this, not wanting to waste another minute. Yet you never believed him.

He brushed it off. You'd come around. Not a day went by without him by your side. To the average onlooker (and you, to Floyd's dismay) this still appeared normal. Weeks past by like nothing.

Only the people closest to Floyd see the small giveaways. Like how he glares holes into the mirror portal every morning, or gets snappy with customers if you take too long to visit the Monstro Lounge at night. There's a booth saved, every evening with no student brave enough to go near it unless they want their head chopped off.

When he gives you a 'squeeze,' he never wraps his arms around your stomach. He instead smothers your head and goes tightly around the shoulders. Your squeezes are special. He loves them.

or the name 'Shrimpy'. How he says it to you in public, but in private he occasionally lets your real name slip out. This normally happens during moments when he feels "bored,"(i.e has nothing to talk about) or lighthearted (the rare moments when you get him to relax). Floyd has never said that name with anything other than a positive emotion, despite his mood swings. Shrimpy is his calling card for you, and only his. Yet your name is different. He feels a tummy-twisting kind of weird when he says it.

but the biggest change is Floyd's attitude towards danger when it comes to you. Before, he thrived on it. He liked to hear your stories and be part of the fun. He took joy from the scary adventures you got wrapped into; heck, he was one of them.

Now he gets morbid. Not like how he was before, with eerie threats and a suspenseful aura. He never actually acted unless told to do so, since the over-blots and delinquent students were your problem, not his.

One afternoon, you didn't show up to have lunch with him. That already made him irritable since you know better than to no-show. Did you want a squeeze? Huh, Shrimpy? He'll give you one later.

Then two students come in, all snickering and acting suspicious. Strike two. Now Floyd is upset AND annoyed. Others in the area can feel the animosity in the air.

"Did you see their face? Psh. That'll teach some snot-nosed no-mag to act all mighty. If they know what's good for them, they'll go back to whatever sh*t-hole they came from alrea-" The no-face couldn't finish his sentence. Not with one of the infamous Leech twins gripping his arm tight enough to snap bone.

Floyd smiled, "oh~ So you're the reason my little shrimp isn't eating lunch with me, aren't ya? So. What'd ya do? C'mon guys, I want to know what 'lesson' ya taught, " as Floyd spoke, his grip gradually tightened and he stared straight into the other student's eyes. Each word came out harsher than the last.

They broke quick, as he suspected. With a rough shove Floyd pushed them aside to find you. He had their faces memorized. Let them live in fear for a bit until he collects due payment. For now?

Floyd finds you at your home. He doesn't bother to knock and bursts through the front door, only to see you nursing a black eye on the couch with some ice. He wastes no time in taking it and kneeling in front of you.

Floyd holds the ice to your eye - a bit too harsh- and clenches his jaw when you wince. You won't meet his eyes and it only pisses him off more, "Oi. Look at me," and you do with your one eye. "Why didn't you call me. Why'd you not show up," You sigh and reach a hand to cover his, "because I knew you'd be pissed... I handled it, okay? No need to fake the whole 'I will protect you, my little Shrimpy' scenario. We both know that's not your thing, "

You're wrong. It's not a scenario. You can dismiss his flirting all you want, but even Floyd has a limit. Do you not see how absolutely wreaked overhearing those airheads made him? He's going to do worse than you can think. He won't kill them. No, he'll make sure that no one messes with you anymore. You can't see it, but on the inside he is over it. Done. Finished. Officially has 0% patience.

"Did you know that every time you spout crap like that, it pisses me off? I don't 'act,' because that's boring. I'm not lyin' when I say I like you, and you better start believin' it because I'm over the niceties. If someone messes with you, they mess with me. You're in deep (Y/N) and I'm not letting go, so wait here while I handle some little pests. I love ya. I act this way BECAUSE I love ya. Quit denying me already,"

No one will ever mess with you again. Not with the sparkly little gem on your ring finger, tying you to one of the largest and most threatening groups in the undersea world to date.

{ An aquamarine tear. In all honesty, Floyd did not put much thought into his gem. It sparkled. It is the color of his hair streak (or close to it). He imagined it on your finger and thought that it would stand out - ensuring that anyone and everyone could see it. He thought of your possible expression upon seeing it, and was sold}

[gingerale13]

I churned this out so fast excuse the quality.. anyways there's a cheesy ass note to my mutuals + followers under the cut bc I love you guys 🧡🧡

This year kinda whizzed by for me! A lot happened in my personal life that I don't want to share online, but throughout all of the highs and lows I was always able to come back to this wonderful fandom. It's been a huge comfort seeing other people theorize and discuss my favorite characters!

I've meet a lot of awesome people through Tumblr & Ao3, cosplaying, and various TF2 groups. As of writing this post I've got a solid 260 followers, which is an insane number to me when this blog simply started as a place to organize my creative works 😭

All of the little tags and comments on my stuff have seriously kept my life whimsical (for lack of a better term) and I would like to shout-out some notable people and works that kept me going through 2024!

First up, and probably the biggest one, is the lovely @aussie-bookworm and their fic, Going Through The Motions. These updates seriously made my day, and I couldn't have been happier you accepted my offer to proofread. It's been super fun discussing the differences between our countries, yapping about the Mercs, and different AUs. I hope to read many more of your works in 2025 B)

Next, another fanfic author, is AhChunta! If you like slow burns, mystery, and Speeding Bullet, I would really recommend Stolen Pieces. It's a super cool crime boss AU that I've been enjoying this year. Plus it deserves more attention!

Another awesome artist is @800db-cloud, who is honestly CARRYING the Freak Fortress fandom. I love how silly your depictions of those freaks are 🧡 and also YOUR ARTSTYLE IS SO COOL AND SATISFYING TO LOOK AT ARGHHH.. You're just super awesome 👍 also shout-out to @riskreward1, my chillest mutual. I think your Getting Milk comic series is hilarious and amazing, but seeing all of those other fandoms you draw is like a gateway drug to me because it's drawn in your KICKASS artstyle‼️plus you like The Mountain Goats and that's based

@thechocolatearmor!! The other Medic Cosplayer I met at my first con!! My friends still mention the in-character convo we had, you were hilarious and I'm so glad I got your Tumblr because I love reading all of your takes on reblogs. I hope I see you again so we can be insane together again 🔥

also @mikimel, I admire how silly you are 😭 I still have that little doodle you drew at the con, and I wish your Tomodochi Miis well <3 AND THE SOLLY FIGURE. He's beautiful. Your fashion sense is fire, and I hope to see more of your cosplay projects! :0 (specifically Soldier Miku. If that's still a thing hehe)

@ivvyzzspark you. You know what you did.

Another HUGE thanks to my very very patient proofreader @emiette for helping me make Crates readable! Em dashes are my new favorite form of punctuation.

And lastly I would like to thank @mvabank because you were the one who made me start rotting over TF2 in the first place 🫶 Magmas were always so fun with you and the image of your little sona with the big ass eyes is forever seared into my brain <3

Maybe it's because 2025 is divisible by 5, but I have a feeling this year is going to be a good one. Stay safe out there, people! Cheers 🥂

[dammarchy211]

The Think Tank Random Headcanon List

Two people asked for this so that means it happening 👍 your welcome, most if not all of these r prewar/brain tank

-this one’s pretty supported in canon but think Dala likes fashion and dressing up🫶. I love giving her a fun little outfit

Yay

-0 had back pains pre brain tank. Also a lot of fatigue. The certified professional sleeper. When he’s working on projects in his home he tends to do it lying on the floor.

-this one’s basically canon but 8 has arithmomania. I say basically canon bc things in his house in Higgs often come in sets of 8, as well as his house being the 8th house despite there not BEING 8 houses. I think this would also extend to counting to 8 on his fingers when he’s nervous and such.

-tied in I also believe 8 has ocd. Borous has bpd.

-Dala was pretty reserved growing up, as she grew up/especially in the looped personality she became for lack of better terms “bolder and more flirty” as compensation for having been so withdrawn previously.

-I am wishy washy with a lot of gender headcanons for characters, my brain kinda just goes well idk if they’re trans but they’re not Not trans. However I do feel quite definitively that Dala is nb transfem, and Mobius and 0 are trans men.

-I think all of their names have some tie to the names they had pre recursion loop. Canonically both Klein’s name and his prewar last name start with K. I think the other’s names have similar ties.

-on that note, I think Borous’s old name (/just his family in general) has Painfully Russian origins. It makes his McCarthyism thing so hilariously ironic

-I think 8 is Canadian, but he only lived there pre annexation of Canada, he was working at big MT and living at Higgs once it happened.

-0’s old last name used to be “O’something” and people still used to call him Dr. O then and he still hated it. Doomed fate

-re: Mobius being trans, i think his first name was Edward. He named himself after Dr. Morbius from the movie The Forbidden Planet

-Klein is a big wine guy, like obvious there’s wine bottles strewn about his house, but I mean like. He’s the kind of guy to just know things about every kind of wine.

-Klein is probably the best dressed after Dala, I think he just tries to be professional for the most part. 0 thinks he’s fashionable but he isn’t. Already mentioned but Mobius dresses like an old lighthouse keeper. Cableknit sweater and the works. I think he’d also like antique pipes

I’m probably gonna alter the Klein outfit but yeah you get the idea. Doodles

-I feel SO STRONGLY ABOUT THIS. But 0 and Borous went to high school together. 0’s one line mentioning Borous in high school was just way too telling.

-Klein and Mobius need reading glasses. Dala used to need glasses, didn’t wear them throughout her childhood until like college, and then switched to contacts after college

-The think tank are all very close and got along much better prewar than they do at the time of the game. They kinda Jean-Paul Sartre No Exit’d themselves and their personalities are stuck in an endless loop. To say the least they started getting on each other’s nerves after 200 years. But this isn’t to say they didn’t still bicker or anything prewar

-8 never really liked talking much. Possibly having selective mutism. This was mostly fine for him because pre brain tank you have facial expressions and hands and hand gestures that kinda make up for not talking at times. After the brain tanks he was kind just. Forced to talk to relay information. His speech was extremely awkward and stilted, which combined with the above head canon is why Dala made that comment about how they like him better now that his voice modulator is broken.

-they all have autism of some flavor tbh. To me. In my autistic mind.

-dead animal ment.// but I feel like Borous was that kid who like poked at dead squirrels and shit as a kid. It frames the Gabe and cyberdog thing well lol

-I’m an 8/0 head so I think they worked together a lot. Even if it’s not on the same project they would just do thinks at the same time together.

-the mentats on Klein’s bedside table are Mobius’s

-0 used to be a super big fan of House and RobCo when he was in high school. Obviously that is no longer true

-0 excels at making robots that are smaller. He doesn’t want to acknowledge this though. Muggy and his walking eyes (w/ wild wasteland) are both pretty small but they work well. The larger scale securitrons he’s tried to make obviously. Do not.

-I think the lounge music theme for the radio was a collective choice, but I feel like Dala especially likes music like that.

-Klein and Mobius used to play games like chess or checkers or card games “outside” in Higgs old person style.

-post brain tank one (woah) Klein has fleeting feelings of missing someone or something he can’t recognize. Any memories tying it to an image of a person he doesn’t quite remember. His brain just doesn’t connect that it’s Mobius and he usually just pushes the feeling down whenever it happens lol

If I think of more I’ll add them.

[vanderbilt-draws]

pleaseee...draw devwinn interacting... plssss

ok sorry it took forever for me to answer i may have gone slightly overboard with the doodles but I REALLY LIKE DEVWINN AND MAY OR MAY NOT HAVE A WHOLE UNWRITTEN FIC ABOUT THEM IN HIGH SCHOOL AND LIKE 7 MILLION HCS ABOUT HOW THEY MET AND THEIR FUTURES AND UHH UHH hcs/all the stuff leading up to my unwritten fic are all below the cut if youre interested ✨✨

winn moved to dimmadelphia in the fourth grade

pretty much instantly dev "befriended" them and started being really clingy with them. he had a MASSIVE crush on them right from the start

winn wasnt actually all that big a fan of dev at first because yk he was mean to most of the other kids, but they didnt want to hurt his feelings so kind of went along with him

(side note i hc that dev has literally been wearing pretty much the same outfit since forever. hes so autism)

dev and winn only got to being real friends once hazel and dev became friends (bc yk shes got the balls to actually tell dev when hes doing something mean, so thats rlly when dev started improving as a person)

winn and dev had the same homeroom in sixth grade and ended up sitting right next to each other, which was when they really started becoming a Duo

winn broke their arm in a skating accident during the winter break of their sixth grade year, dev was the first one they got to sign the cast :] winn never stopped skating but they did do it a lot less + more carefully after that (by order of their parents)

dev started growing his hair into a mullet in the seventh grade because he "thought it looked cool" (<< started noticing his gender dysphoria and wanted longer hair in an attempt to quell it)

winn thought they were bi for all of seventh grade and most of eighth grade bc they had a crush on dev

SPOILER ALERT dev is a trans girl, she comes out in the eighth grade and her chosen name is devine. she still goes by dev but all her friends know what its short for

dev doesnt want to come out to her dad bc she doesnt know how hell react. (tbh if she did come out, her dad would be super supportive and good with prns and names and terms in public, but slip up a ton in private bc he doesnt care as much when people arent watching)

obv winn told jasmine and hazel about their crush right when it started developing, so it became kind of an inside joke between the three that winn has "transbian senses" after dev came out

just before ninth grade, winn decided to get a buzzcut, and theyve been growing it out ever since (this is mostly bc as much as i love dyed hair undercut enby/trans characters THERES TOO MANY PLEASE CHOOSE A DIFFERENT HAIRSTYLE FOR YOUR FICTIONAL TRANSES AND ENBIES SOBBING)

they bleached it blonde when it was about two inches long, and never bothered to cut off the blonde so now they just have blonde tips

winn ended up being 6'5" and joined varsity basketball in the tenth grade because they didnt wanna waste that height

dev stole their original varsity jacket because it was comfy (and because it was winns and it brings her comfort) and then paid for their replacement jacket

jasmine started learning how to sew and embroider clothes over the summer between ninth and tenth grade and so helped devine sew on her own name tag (dev just told her dad jasmine was a bad speller and tbh dale didnt care and was like ok son whatever)

dev ended up stuck at the spectacular height of a middle schooler (5'2") and winn thinks its adorable. theyre strong enough to pick her up whenever they hug her. sometimes when they get excited they spin her around

dev also started wearing her hair curly occasionally in the tenth grade bc winn told her she looked pretty with it like that. her dad doesnt like it when she doesnt slick it back and gets passive aggressive about it whenever he sees her like that

winn started getting panic attacks from all the pressure of high school after joining the basketball team, and dev usually ends up talking them through it, although jasmine and hazel are also good at helping them

they dont think their anxiety is bad enough to be a disorder so they never get a diagnosis/help (until Things Happen in my fic :]]] )

hazel and jasmine are both aroace (in this timeline at least, ive got a few other fic ideas where hazel is bi) and in a qpr. they are also fandom girlies and fic writers, so when dev finally tells them in the middle of tenth grade that she has a crush on winn (and has for a while) theyre both like OOOOOOOHHHHHH I SHIP IT and they, along with cosmo and wanda, start trying really hard to get them together

unfortunately hazmine and coswan have literally no idea how human teenage romance works irl SO. shenanigans ensue :]]]]]]]

anyways yeah thats my buildup to my fic/my personal hcs, no peri mention because hes ✨elsewhere✨ when all this is happening

[madamechrissy]

But it's Better if you Do

ৎ୭ Pairings ৎ୭ Nanami Kento x Fem Reader

ৎ୭ Warnings ৎ୭ MDNI- This chapter- Explicit sex, breathplay, dom/sub undertones, brat taming, whipping, Nanami being a whole DADDY bc he is, anal play, multiple orgasms, dirty talk, Nanami yanks you by your collar bc why not. Just a whole freaky sex chap

ৎ୭ Word Count ৎ୭ 6.9k

ৎ୭ Summary ৎ୭ Every weekday for a year, Nanami Kento comes into the coffee shop you work at, and he orders the same damn thing. You have it bad but are too nervous to do more than doodle on his cups. You have a double life, because you're also 'Foxy' a featured dancer at a strip club once a week. A bachelor party for Satoru Gojo has you dancing, and he's there. Nanami fucking Kento. You end up both in a VIP room, awkward, nervous, but then... it's your chance. He doesn't know it's you, right? What harm can a lap dance do? Surely won't be awkward the next day...

Chapter 8-- Masterlist

Chapter 9

You and Nanami seem to always be making out when you walk into either of your apartments, you wonder what people think in the halls of you two, or the maddening  way you tear each other apart. Nanami picks you up with ease, and you’re holding onto those broad shoulders tightly, falling into the whirlwind that was his kisses, that was the desire that was building.

He gently places you down, easing you onto your knees, hands pressing on your shoulders, and you’re enamored as he is standing so tall above you, his fingers brushing through your loose hair. You lick your lips, hands going to eagerly unbuckle his belt then, his hands stop you.

“I didn’t say that you could do that yet, darling.” He murmurs, smacking at your hands when you try again. You pout.

“Isn’t submissive where you like please?” You ask, he smirks, shaking his head then, caressing your jawline.

“It’s much more intricate than that.” He gathers your hair up, pulling it, making tears prick your eyes, you’re grinding on the ground for friction for your aching pussy now, moaning. “We need some ground rules.”

“Like some safe word or some shit?” He chuckles, pulling your hair a little more, making your head arch back as you look up at him.

“That would be a good thing to have if your mouth wasn’t about to be occupied.” He whispers, thumb running across your lips. “Remember when I choked you, and I said to tap my arm three times?” You nod eagerly. “When your arms aren’t tied up, do that. When your mouth is free, you come up with a word you like.”

“Well, can’t be Daddy, you like that now. Ah!” He pulls further, and you’re arching into the hold, pressing further on your knees, fingers itching to touch him.

“Foxy.” He says with a smirk, you giggle.

“Okay, that’s the word. Or the taps. What if you have me tied up and your cock shoved in my mouth? Do I bite it? Oh!” He snatches you up, and before you know it you’re on all fours on his bed. He eases up your skirt, sliding down your panties, already soaked.

“So wet, so easy for me, I haven’t even touched you.” He whispers, you just cry out, arching your back. “How do you feel about a flogger?”

“A what?” You peek back over your shoulder at him, and he’s just smirking, cupping each ass cheek in his big hands, squeezing. “I don’t know your terms, freaky Dom Kento.”

“You’re adding more and more lashings. Tsk tsk.” Nanami eases across the room, and you lean up on your hands, biting your lip as you watch him slide open a drawer. You peek.

“Oh shit. You’re really freaky.” You crawl over, peering into the drawer, full of all kinds of rope, whips, toys, gags… you flush when you see some of them, but he bends over, caressing your face.

“It’s all up to you what we do. And what we don’t. I would never, ever push you into anything.” You choke up at that, feeling emotions prick your eyes, and you nod, sniffling a bit as he caresses your face. “This is all your choice, I am perfectly content with the most vanilla sex ever with you.”

“I’m not vanilla, I’m like… french vanilla?” He laughs, shaking his head, and he takes your hand and kisses it.

“Pick a couple things and we will try them. How about that?”

“You’re a sweet dom hmm?”

“The only kind to be. Don’t worry, you’ll still get punished.” You giggle at that, then look in the drawer, curiously pulling out things. A long leather whip, a flat smaller one, peeking at the different kinds. “That one is easier to handle.”

“You think I can’t take a hit?” You tease, but you pick the one he suggests, handing it to him with red cheeks, then looking through more. “I don’t know if I would like not being able to use my hands? I love to touch you.”

“We could do a loose one on your wrists.” You look down at his tie, smirking. “Ah, you want this around them?” He loosens it, and you gulp, nodding eagerly. “Anything else you see?”

You’re nervously thumbing through, and there are shimmering objects still sealed in cases, you pop one open and flush. “Anal plug?”

“That’s too much for right now, don’t you think?” He says with a serious set to his lips, snatching it away. You tilt your head curiously.

“Now you think I couldn’t take it up the ass?” He sputters, and you laugh. “I’m teasing, no I never have. Not even… a finger or whatever.”

“It’s not something I’ve done too often, some women enjoy it though.” He shrugs, hands brushing your hair back rhythmically. It feels so good. He whispers in your ear, hot breath on your skin. “That cunt is so tight I’d never need it.”

“Fuck.” You flush at that, trembling a bit, curiosity wrecking you. “Would you wanna try it some time?”

“We can try the plug for now if you want. With a lot of lube. But I don’t want to hurt you.”

“You’re too sweet of a dom.” You tease, running your hand up and down his abdomen, under his dress shirt, feeling each muscle.

“You’re my darling girl, and very special to me.” He murmurs, your heart aches at his words, eyes meeting his hazel ones eagerly. “I’m more of a pleasure dom.”

“I can see that. I’m jealous of whoever got you before. Isn’t that so petty?” You pout, and he grins at that.

“Are you?” You nod. “I’m jealous that anyone had you.”

“Just one person.”

“I’d like to fight him in a ring. And burn his clothes you keep.”

“Kento!” You’re laughing now, and he grows serious, taking off his tie now, and it’s always the sexiest fucking thing he does. You moan softly. “We are petty and jealous, hmm?”

“We are. Because…” He gulps, and then he grabs your wrists, looking down at you. “I need you naked, darling.”

“Undress me then, Sir.” You whisper, and in a flash he has your skirt off, your top undone, your breasts spill out and he sighs, playing with them, cupping them in his big palms, already sensitive to his touch. “Thank you.”

“Already acting like a good sub, when you’re a brat.” He taps your nose, you giggle at that. “You want the tie, and you want this whip. What else did my darling girl desire?”

“This looks hot.” You pull out a leather collar. “Kind of goth?”

He snorts in laughter at you, and gently unclasps the collar, attaching a chain to it. “Goth, hmm? Maybe. It’s a leash.”

“Oh… like to choke me?” You ask eagerly.

“More to assert dominance over you, but it can be used to choke you, we just should be careful. Here.” He puts it on you, moaning softly at it. “You do look fucking beautiful with it. Anything else, darling?”

“The shiny jewel thing.” He snorts at that, shaking his head, and he pulls it out, along with a purple bottle of lube. “Kento I’m already so wet…”

“Not for your cunt, darling. Now, if this does hurt you, please tell me, I can take it out at any time. Understood?” You nod, he yanks your hair, and it hurts so good that you’re soaking his mattress with your dripping cunt. “It is going to be different, how I speak and act, but I always want you to know how much I adore you.”

“And I adore you, Kento.” You want to kiss him so badly, but he holds you at a bit of a length, smiling, eyes drinking you in.

“So you will say ‘yes Sir’ when I ask you if you understand. Understood?” You nod, biting your lip.

“Yes, Sir.” You say softly, and he kisses you as a reward.

“Perfect girl.” He murmurs, then he taps you. “I’m going to prep you a bit for this, even with lube I am worried. So, on all fours.”

“Yes Sir.” You do as he commands, on your hands and knees, and your thighs tremble when he gets between your thighs, his hot breath on your pussy, pressing his mouth and nose between your folds, inhaling you. His breath alone has you nearly cumming, shaking in pleasure when his tongue flicks up your slit. “Ah! Kento!”

He slides his tongue up, then back down, faster and faster, fucking you with it, sucking up all your wetness, and then he pushes a finger inside, stretching you, making you feel so full. He thrusts it in and out, faster and faster, making you moan, and then he adds a second finger, stretching you impossibly, and fucking you with those long, talented fingers.

“You love me stretching this perfect cunt, don’t you darling?” He whispers, and you nod eagerly. Something smacks you then, hard, and his fingers stop, you wriggle gasping then. “I asked you a question.”

“Oh fuck. Ow!” He gently whips you again, and it feels good , the air hitting the stinging whelp, making you tremble. “Yes, Sir?”

“Good girl.”

Fuck.

He bends back down, kissing your thighs, your pussy, flicking his tongue in your entrance again, spreading your ass wide, until he starts licking up further, and flicking his tongue on your ass. You squeal, his laugh is hot against you. “Are you sure about this love?”

“Yes, Sir.” He hums approvingly, sliding his tongue in little circles again, and you wonder at the sensation, so different than what you were used to, but before you could contemplate it, he was back eating your cunt, just teasing your little ass hole. “Mmm, it feels… good, Sir.” You whisper.

He continues to work you, a finger in your cunt, a thumb now rubbing your ass, and you’re more than a little nervous, when he pulls away, and then you feel lube cool down you, dripping everywhere. You squeak a bit, and he chuckles, you crave the sound of his laughter, crave his touch as he spreads you open more.

“Ready, darling girl?” You nod eagerly, he smacks your ass lightly with the flogger again. “Relax, fully. That’s an order.”

“Is it, Daddy? Ow!” He smacks you hard with the lubricated hand now, and you giggle, exhaling then, bending low. “Yes, Sir.”

Nanami pushes the lubed up plug against the entrance of your pussy instead, slowly pushing it in, spreading your tight heat around it. You feel stretched, aching, but it feels so good, too. He pushes it in deeper, stretching you until he hits your g-spot, and then he begins to twist, massaging it. You moan, arching your back, and then he yanks you up.

“Suck on it.” He orders, and you do so, tasting your pussy juices all over it, mixed with the lubricant, he moans as your eyes meet, as you suck the silver object. “I needed it extra ready.”

He ties your wrists easily then, behind you, feeling the silky cheetah tie on them was an ecstasy you could not even describe. Nanami gently pushes you back down, your face buried in the mattress now, helpless to his touch. He pushes the plug in your ass now, and you gasp, trying not to tense at the new sensation.

“Fuck!” You wince a bit as it stretches you.

“Are you okay, darling?” He murmurs, you nod, exhaling, as he presses it deeper, then twists it just a bit, making you gasp. “It’s in there. Do we want to try it for a while or should I take it out? I want you to enjoy yourself.”

“No, no, it feels… good?” He hums, spreading your cheeks, exhaling slowly, and you feel aching pleasure from the stretch. He keeps going, fucking you with the plug, making you feel full, making you feel owned, you’re crying out. “It looks really fucking pretty like this.”

“A bedazzled ass?” You tease, peeking back, seeing his heated gaze, and his smirk, he shakes his head at you.

“So mouthy, hmm. I have an idea for that.” He lifts you as if you’re nothing but a little doll, and you’re back on your knees on the soft plush rug under you. You feel a new pressure inside you that is overwhelming.

He takes off his shirt, and you drink in his sculpted body, pure perfection it was, every inch of him. Your tied hands don’t allow you to touch him as you want, you yank them just a bit, testing the slack, as his free hand glides down his abdomen, teasing the head of his cock as it strains against his pants. He unbuttons his pants, revealing the thick length of his erection, and pushes them down, along with his boxer briefs.

You look at him hungrily, your eyes tracing the veins that pulse along the length of his cock. He steps closer, pressing his hips against you, and guides his cock to your lips. "Be a good girl and do a good job, and I’ll reward you.”

“Yes Sir.” You whisper, he smiles approvingly, as his hand wraps your hair in his fist. You open your mouth eagerly, taking his shaft between your lips, and begin to bob your head up and down. Your tongue swirls around the head, tasting the saltiness and sweetness of his precum, he moans, gripping you tightly.

You suck him deep into your mouth, feeling the hot skin of the tip of his thick cock brush against the back of your throat, and you moan around him, wanting to please him, wanting to make him feel good. You can feel the heat of his body, the strength in his body, holding back to not hurt you. You ease back just a bit, and he allows you a moment.

Your eyes lock, seductively, hooded lids and your mouth is dripping in saliva and his precum. “Yes, beautiful girl?”

“Fuck my face, please. I can take it.” You urge, and he exhales, tension in his brows as he caresses your face so softly.

“Your hands are tied, and your mouth will be…”

“You wouldn’t hurt me, you know me so well, already. Just… try it with me. Please, Sir. I’ll do a good job.” You’re dripping so bad in your empty cunt at the thought you start pulsing, as he’s so fucking handsome, looking at you, spreading all your drool along your lips.

“Then, do a very good job, would you darling?” You nod, and he opens your mouth back up with two fingers. “Open wide, tongue out.”

You do as he asks, and his hands tighten in your hair, guiding your mouth back around his hard cock, and he’s slamming his hips with sure movements, encouraging you to take more of him. You do as he says, sucking harder, letting out a moan around his cock as you feel the pressure building inside you. You can feel the veins pulsing on his shaft, the heat of him, the taste of him.

He’s hitting a spot in the back of your throat that’s making you cry with each thrust, gagging you just a bit. “Relax that tight throat, pretty girl.” You breathe out your nose, doing as he asks, and he moans, louder, holding your face in place. “That’s it, that’s perfect.”

He’s so gently holding your face but his big, thick cock is wrecking your throat, and you’re crying full on tears, mixing with drool all over your lips that’s sliding out the sides of your mouth. You're so lost in the sensation that you hardly notice when he pulls his cock from your mouth suddenly, and he’s snatched you up, kissing you, tongue shoving in your mouth.

He pulls back, yanking on the chain, compressing your throat, deliciously making you dizzy. "Are you okay?" he asks, his voice low and husky.

You nod, as he wipes your tears. “I really love that. Pleasing you, Sir.” You whisper, and he moans, pulling on the chain, and then he stands back, admiring his handiwork.

“I’ve made a mess of you already, darling.” He murmurs, taking in your tears, your reddened eyes, reddened lips, chapped and raw from the friction. “And you are so, so pretty when you cry.” Nanami then trails his fingers down your stomach, teasing your puffy clit, having been neglected for the most part, it was so sensitive you arch your back, trying to get closer to his touch.

He smirks, enjoying your helplessness, as his fingers circle your clit, sending waves of pleasure through you. “Back on the bed, darling.”

You do as he bids, your legs are trembling as you walk, and you realize how bad you’re starting to ache with his teasing, with the plug still in you. A long finger slides in your aching entrance, pressure building in your cunt, mixing with a new pressure from the plug still in there. He continues to tease you with his fingers, driving you wild with anticipation. Finally, he pushes two fingers inside you, filling you up, and begins to thrust in a rough, punishing rhythm.

“Kento, please . Please.” You start to plead with him, arching your ass up for more, and then he pulls the chain of the collar, making your back arch like a bow, and you’re sitting on his fingers, grinding helplessly.

"Oh, you'll be able to cum soon enough, darling girl." He promised, his fingers still moving inside you, but it was you doing the work, helpless and eager. "But first, I want to hear you beg."

“I did beg. Ugh.” You grumble, he laughs a bit in your ear, yanking the collar harder now, and you feel everything get fuzzy.

“Crying for me again would really make me consider it.” He nips your ear, hitting that g-spot, pressing the plug further against you, stretching and filling you. You’re moaning, gasping for breath. “So helpless you’ll fuck yourself on my fingers?”

“Yes, Sir. Yes. Helpless. Fuck.” You’re uncaring of what he says, of how pathetic you are for his touch, you just are . A mess for Nanami.

“Try to get yourself off on them. Then I’ll help. Once you’ve earned it.” He orders, you glare back at him, and he’s grinning, fucking sexy as fuck. You sigh, looking down at his body.

“I’d rather get off on your face.” You murmur, and he grabs you tight with his free hand, moaning. “You want me to, to cum on your face, Daddy?”

“Who’s the Dom here, brat?” He yanks your collar hard, shoving his fingers in so deep you swear they almost hit your cervix. You laugh, fucking maniacally, arching your head back and looking up at his handsome face.

“Maybe I am not subby enough.” You tease, and he rolls his eyes, smirking at you.

“Do as you’re told, little brat. Then I’ll give you what you want.” You eagerly, rock on his fingers then, whining.

“Move them a bit!”

“No.”

“Ugh!” You wriggle this way and that, as his fingers are just still inside you, unmoving, your clit is left without stimulation, you have no clue how you can do this. “Hmm…” Then you straddle his thigh, moaning.

“Fuck you’re soaked.” He murmurs, his fingers stretch out just a bit, as you grind your clit on his strong, bare thigh, giving you the friction you need, and you start falling apart. “That’s it, cum all over me, so desperate you’ll ride my thigh, hmm?”

“Yes, fuck yes I am. Desperate for you, Daddy.” You tense for a moment, but he’s on his back quick after you cum, and he unties you, rubbing your wrists, kissing them softly. He yanks you on him, making you straddle his face, you flush at the position for a moment.

“Is my darling getting shy?” He whispers, and you nod just a bit. “Relax. Bend forward a bit.” You do so, and he gently eases the plug from you, making you exhale in relief. “Was it too much?”

“It felt good, just a lot to handle… everything.” He nods, kissing your leg that wrapped his face, flicking tongue over the soft flesh of your inner thigh.

“You did exactly as I asked, so you can ride my face till you cum, all you want, my perfect girl.” He says to you, in that baritone voice of his, and you moan, settling down further.

“Are you gonna be okay down there?” You tease, he laughs, nodding.

“I want it pouring all over my face, darling.” He murmurs, and you’re cumming as soon as you sit on his face, bracing yourself on your thighs, struggling to balance as one flick of his tongue makes you soak him. “So fucking easy.”

“I should shut your mouth, Sir.” You whisper, grinning, he laughs against your cunt then.

“Go right ahead, a perfect pussy soaking my face is fine with me.” You fully sit on him then, as his hands grip your thighs.

He nuzzles your folds, inhaling your scent, and then his tongue darts out, teasing your clit. You moan, arching your back into his touch, your hips rolling as you grind on his perfect fucking face. Nanami licks and sucks, teasing you mercilessly, as his fingers dip inside, finding your entrance and circling, looking for the perfect angle to penetrate, pulling more wetness, making it gush out.

You feel the familiar tightening in your core, and with one smooth motion, he pushes a finger inside you deep, filling you up while sucking on your clit. You cry out, the sensation sending shockwaves through your body, and you’re cumming again, this time harder, until you fucking fall back, shaking, panting, your every sense on fucking fire.

His big hands flip you on your back, and then he’s back between your thighs, and you scream. “Kento I can’t take anymore of it! Too much.”

“You can cum all over my face again, be my perfect girl.” He whispers, and your hand is in his silky sandy blond hair as he’s between you again.

His tongue continues its relentless assault on your clit, and his finger begins to move in and out, finding a rhythm that has you digging your nails into his strong shoulders now. You feel your orgasm building, the need growing stronger with each thrust of his tongue, each stroke of his fingers. He senses it too, and speeds up, his tongue flicking faster, his finger moving deeper.

Finally, you explode again, your body tensing and convulsing around his fingers. He groans, his tongue circling your clit as you come apart beneath him, so oversensitive your thighs try to close. He pushes another finger inside you, stretching you wider, before pulling his hand away to kiss you deeply. Your juices coat his lips, and you can taste yourself on his tongue as you sloppily kiss.

“You taste so exquisite my darling girl.” He whispers, easing the collar off you then, too, exposing your reddened neck to his kisses, hot and wet on your sensitive skin.

“Kento… I fucking…fuck.” You’re sobbing, overwhelmed, and he pauses, and you curse, but suddenly he’s filling you up, cock sliding deep in you, filling you finally, and you’re crying, it feels so fucking good.

Nanami Kento is over you, big hands on either side, cock sliding in inch by inch, more and more, hazel eyes studying you intently, until he’s fully in, and you arch your back, gasping, breasts pressing against his hot, hard chest. You cum around him embarrassingly fast, sobbing in pleasure, pulsing around him.

“You wanted to say something, darling ?” He asks, shoving into you hard, hitting your cervix, you’re crying out.

“Y-yeah. Fuck. Mnh.” He’s slowly fucking you, so different than the way he’d fucked your mouth, how he had eaten your pussy, no, he was going torturously slow, staring into your eyes, those flecks of green bright in the dim room.

“Say it then.” You tremble, clinging to him, kissing him deeply, arching your hips up, grinding against him, his pelvis snapping against yours as he hit so deep you started falling deeper, losing it. You gasp as he presses in, hands entwining with yours, which were still numb, lips a breath away.

“I’m scared, Kento.” You whisper, tears start to pour, hot and sticky, and he pauses, caressing your face with his big hand, brushing your tears, pressing in gently, you’re sobbing it feels so good, nails digging into his arms.

“Never be scared with me, darling. Never.” He kisses you, so deeply, and you can’t stop the emotion that overflows, as he slides out and back in, and is edging you closer to the abyss. You’re struggling to hold on to any sense of anything.

“Kento. Kento…” You’re whispering his name like a mantra, soaking wet around his hard length, making lewd squishing sounds as he slowly fucks you, in such deep strokes. His hands are trailing down your breasts, he lavishes a nipple with his tongue, you hiss when he nips it between his teeth. “Fuck… Kento… I…”

“Yes, my perfect girl?” He whispers, bending further, hitting deep as he sucks on another sensitive peak, and you’re going higher and higher. He’s watching your every expression, your every movement, so carefully, as his cock is wrecking your insides, up in your stomach.

“Please. Please.” You have no clue what you’re saying anymore, your vision is going dark as he lovingly puts his fingers around your throat, squeezing, pressing up until the air leaves your lungs. You climax so hard with it you feel like you are floating on nothing, can’t come down, barely hearing his whisper.

“Who do you belong to?” He whispers, and eases his hand off just a moment, you greedily suck in air, looking up at him.

“I belong to you. Only you, Kento.” He kisses you, teeth and tongues bumping, it’s messy, as you both moan into each other's mouths. You taste yourself on his tongue, you taste him on yours.

“You’re all mine, darling?”

“Yes, yes. Yes.” You’re nodding fervently, burying your face in his chest as he fucks you senseless, as he takes over every ounce of you. “Kento…”

“Fuck you feel so good.” He groans, pausing for a moment, exhaling, gripping you so tight, back to kissing you, possessing every inch of your mouth.

“Love. Love you. Kento.” You manage, as you’re panting out the words, as he’s pressing in so deep, sweat dripping from his chest onto your breasts, where his hand comes to cup one, staring into your eyes, out of breath himself, his lips are parted as he studies you. You freeze. “Fuck, forget that!”

“Forget it?” He scowls, yanking your leg up, shoving into you hard, and you throw your head back into the bed, sobbing now, as he fucks you into the bed, slapping of skin and your wetness loud in the room.

“Yes. Please.” You’re hardly able to see through the tears, hardly able to hear with the pounding of your heart in your ears.

“You don’t mean it, hmm?” He demands, silkenly, hitting your cervix hard then, to where you bucked up, crying and trembling.

“Fuck… I do mean it. I do. Mmm. Fuck, Kento!” He’s flipped you back to your tummy, pressed on you, sliding in and hitting that damn spot, the one that makes you gush all around his cock, screaming, gripping the sheets.

“Then say it. Say it, stop being a scared little brat.” He huffs in your ear, now reaching for the back of your hair, pulling it at the base of your neck, owning you, dominating every part of your being.

“I love you, Kento.” You’re crying the words out, between sucking in shaky little breaths, and he pauses, holding himself up, the weight of his heavy muscles pressing on your back.

“I love you too, so fucking much.” He murmurs, and you begin to sob more, as he kisses you, as he makes love to your mouth, your body, your soul. Your fucking heart. You gasp as he presses in so deep behind you, as he continues pulling your hair so that your neck was thrown back.

“You do? Ah!” He laughs, kissing the side of your neck now, two fingers toying with your slick clit.

“I am madly in love with you, darling little brat.” You laugh through your tears, breathless, arching your ass up for more of his slow thrusts, head lolling to the side as he lavishes it with his tongue.

“Loved you since… I first… saw you… fuck!” He moans, sinking his teeth into the soft skin of your throat, fucking you faster and faster as he bit you, teeth gently breaking your flesh, enhancing everything.

“I was stupid… I love you so much, my beautiful girl. Perfect girl. I’m close, so close, you feel too fucking good around me. So tight.”

“Cum in me, please, fill me up.” You shiver as he licks the bite, making it sting as the air hits it, as he presses even deeper, breaking you apart, bit by bit, hand leaving your sore clit to choke you again, taking over your little body with his huge one.

“Will you take all of it like a good girl, my love?” He asks, and you nod, digging further into his hold, his hand squeezing as he slows, making you feel every inch, oversensitive as fuck, you’re shaking everywhere under him.

“All of it. Want it all. Please, please, please. Fucking get me pregnant next.” You pause then, but he loses his shit on top of you, choking tighter, fucking so hard it hurt, pounding into your slick cunt, bringing you higher and higher as you lose oxygen again and everything is fading in and out as you’re feeling every sensation in every nerve ending.

“You want to get pregnant, do you?” He eases off your throat, you gulp up the air in your lungs.

“By you, Kento. Daddy .” He curses, loud, shaking above you, groaning, you laugh breathlessly. “You like it. Admit it. You’re throbbing.”

“I’ll fill you up, little bratty girl. Until you can’t run this mouth.” He shoves his fingers in your mouth, you’re sucking them off, the sweat, your wetness, and he’s wrecking you now. “Now be a good girl, and milk me for all of this cum, with that sweet little cunt of yours.”

“Mmmh!” You moan around his fingers, drooling, and you’re cumming hard around him, ass pressing up for all of it, for all of his hot cum that shoots up deep inside you, he’s groaning in your ear, gripping you so tight you can’t breathe. Everything fades to black and little glittery stars, as he gently releases you, moaning softly as he presses deep.

You both gasp, both so oversensitive now. “All of this cum, my darling.” He whispers, releasing your mouth to kiss it, shoving his still hard cock, pressing his hot ropes of cum deeper, as both of your liquids are sliding out of you, between your lips and around his thick, veiny cock in you.

“All of it. I can do it.” You whisper, he breathlessly chuckles, falling over, easing out of you, yanking you to his side. You’re crying still, hiccuping even, and he frowns, cupping your face.

“Darling, are you alright? Was it too much with-”

“Shh.” You kiss him, clinging to him, and he enwraps you in his strong arms, holding your trembling body. You ease your face back to gaze into his dilated eyes, as the shadows dance across the hard planes of his face. “Nanami Kento, you love me.”

He smirks, popping little kisses along your nose. “I do love you, silly girl. How have you not figured it out?”

“You’re really bad at showing your feelings, you know.” He sighs.

“I’ll try to get better at that.” He’s gently brushing your hair back, and it feels so good your eyes flutter shut at the situation. “I am crazy for you.”

“I thought it was just me, and you were like… enjoying the ride?” He frowns, shaking his head, continuing his soothing caresses.

“No, darling, I may not have known as soon as you, but I have fallen pretty fucking hopelessly in love. I can’t think of anything but how much I want to see you all the time, hold you all the time. Be with you. Be in you.” You moan, lips trembling, he’s wiping your tears now.

“You really just want me to cry huh.” He snorts at that, shaking his head. “Liar, you love it.”

“I mean every word.”

“I know, Nanami. I know you mean anything you say.” You love him so much it tears your heart, but now he fills it, he fills you. With joy, with love, with his fucking passion, with that cock… “Fuck I really threw in that pregnant thing. Promise I’m not going off the pill.”

“Although we are not ready for that just yet, I love the thought of you pregnant, it’s actually stupidly hot.” You giggle at that.

“Want my tits bigger and my belly big hmm?” You run your fingertips up and down his chest errantly.

“You’d be beautiful.” He murmurs, so seriously, hands sliding down the curves of your body slowly. “So beautiful.”

“Fuck, Kento. I’ll cry again.” You sniffle, burying your head against his chest, feeling his heartbeat steady and slow against your cheek.

“Are you sure you’re okay, my love? That seems to have taken…” He grins, deviously. “A lot out of you.”

“You’re saying I have shit stamina.” He bursts out laughing, and you lean up and scowl at him.

“You’re so cute when you’re mad.”

“Am not!”

“You’re not exhausted then, darling?”

You flush. “Well of course I am. Aren’t you, Daddy ?”

“I think I should have gone harder on your punishment.” You grin, and he rolls his hazel eyes. “You’re going to be a fiend.”

“How did I do as a sub, Daddy Dom Kento?”

“Stop it.” He pulls you on him, slick thighs around his lap, both of your cum pouring out of you onto his lap. You shiver at the sensation. “You’re not a good sub, you’re a switch at best. A bratty switch.”

You flush bright red. “I was trying!”

“Mmhmm, were you?”

You lean forward, hands on his chest, breasts swaying. He moans, grabbing onto them. “Teach me more then, Daddy. Or, Sir. One lesson and you give up on your student so quickly?!”

“You’re incorrigible.”

“And you talk old people talk.”

“Fucking brat.” He smacks your ass hard, and you jerk, hissing.

“Ouch!”

“I love you.” He shocks you then, and you melt, stinging ass forgotten, and you sigh, kissing him deeply, his strong arms wrap around your waist, big warm hands along the small of your back.

“I love you, so so much. Mmm.” You feel exhaustion hitting you then, at his comforting touch, as you realize how much all of this did take out of you. “Fuck, I am exhausted.”

“See, the stamina…”

“I’ll fuck again!” He laughs at you, white teeth showing, and his handsome face is lit up. “You’re so beautiful, Nanami Kento.”

“Beautiful? Have I fucked you completely loopy?” You scowl.

“You are a beautiful man. Every inch of you. Handsome face, chiseled god body, and that dick-ah!” He’s flipped you back over, leaving you breathless.

“You are beautiful.” He kisses your forehead sweetly. “Every bit of you. Your pretty little face, your gorgeous body, soft curves and these goddamn stripper legs.” He grips your thighs, and you moan.

“Should I get a pole for just you?” You tease, and he groans, you feel his length hard against your thigh, making you tremble.

“Say one more thing like that and I’m going again. And darling, I don’t think you can handle it.” You grin, and at that he glares, reproachfully.

“Oh no, Daddy, don’t punish me with your insanely big cock! Oh no, I am just so afraid! Ah, fuck fuck!” You cry out when he shoves in you, in your sore and sensitive cunt, hurting and stretching you out. “Fuck, mmm, too much.”

“You need to learn to listen, darling.” He lifts your legs around him, shoving in deeper and deeper, every stroke hurting and feeling so goddamn good you couldn’t find any energy to even move. “How’s that stamina, love?”

“Fucking… fucking shit stamina.” You cry out weakly, as he chuckles, then he is pulling you down on his cock, hard. “Can’t move, Kento. Mmm.”

“Will I have to use you as my fuck doll then?” You nod weakly, looking into his heated gaze, arms weakly reaching for him.

“Use me till you cum, Kento. Use me.” He moans, loud as fuck, and he fucks into you, stroking into your cunt, over and over, as you just lay down weak, falling apart with little cries. “Kento… can’t cum again.” Your head lolls to the side.

“You only want my cum?” You nod, and he fucks faster, faster, pressing your legs up against your breasts, you just lay there, spent, as he’s hitting that spot. You start to cry. “You’re such a pretty doll, crying under me.”

“Can’t cum… about to… don’t know… Kento…” You’re incoherent, as he’s dripping sweat on you, as he overtakes you, as he uses you, fucking so fast as he presses your hips hard into the bed, pinning you.

“Are you ready for more of my cum, then? You’re so greedy, darling.” He holds your face now as his body presses your legs against you, it’s hard to breathe, to see, as you lay there and weakly nod.

“Use me until you do. Please.” He pounds into you, and you can’t help but pant as you’re about to cum again. “Fuck… can’t… why…”

“Because, you’re easy for me, darling.” He kisses you then, and you’re cumming around him, pushing more of his cum out, only to be filled by more, as he pumps you fucking full, throbbing in you as you spasm.

“Kento! Unh.” You barely squeak it out, so spent, so exhausted, as he collapses on top of you, kissing you, moaning his sweet release in your mouth as you’re so full of cum it’s leaking all over.

“Is my greedy girl full enough of cum?” He murmurs, and you manage a little bit of a nod, eyes fading in and out, lids heavy.

“Yes, so full, thank you Sir.” You snuggle into him, hissing as he pulls out of your now wrecked little cunt, so messy and wet it’s unrecognizable. “Kento, so tired. So sore…”

“Need me to take care of you, love?” He asks softly, and you again give the smallest nod. “I’ll run you a bath.”

Next thing you know, you’re inside a hot bath, and Nanami is behind you, washing you gently, and you hiss when he touches you between your thighs, it hurts so bad you can’t think. You’re arching against him, looking back at him, raising your weak arm to caress his face with your dripping wet hand. He exhales, kissing you softly, deeply.

You are so in love with him, it’s intoxicating. Kissing him is like being drunk, fucking him is like being high, you can only feel all the fucking pleasure. You’re moaning when he’s kissing your neck again, head weakly falling.

“Love this. Love you.” You mumble, he sighs, pulling you hard against his wet body in the fragrant water.

“I love you, my perfect girl.” He kisses your cheek, sweetly. “I don’t think you can take another round.”

“Fuck no I can’t.” He chuckles, shaking you as you’re against his chest, you can’t manage a glare, you’re too sleepy, fading in and out. “Come, let’s get you in some jammies.”

“Yes. Please.” He’s drying you, he’s drying your hair and brushing it, he’s dressing you.

“You’re still just my little doll tonight, hmm?” He murmurs, and you weakly help him dress you, lifting your legs just a bit, sighing.

“Yes. Can’t move much.” You flop on the bed, and he laughs at you, softly. “You’re enjoying this. Making me into a blob.”

“You are no blob. A puddle.” You flip him off, he just laughs more, and then he is tucking you in, and he’s next to you. You inhale his clean scent.

“What happens now, Kento, now that we… are in love.” You murmur sleepily, he tenses a bit, then goes back to caressing you, snuggling behind you.

“What do people do that are in love?” He whispers. You hum.

“Fuck a lot?”

“I think we’ll do more than that. Go to sleep for now, darling, we will talk more tomorrow. You’re fucking spent.”

“Wonder why, stamina like a fucking racehorse.” You feel his laughter, and you’re fading out now, in the warm cocoon of his arms. “Never want to leave here.”

“I never want you to leave.” He kisses your temple. “Get some sleep, love.”

“Don’t leave.” You don’t know what you’re mumbling now.

“I’m going nowhere. I’ll be right here, my love.” You hum happily, and you fade out, wondering if this was all a beautiful dream, but now, you’re in his arms, in the arms of the man you love. Who loves you. You couldn’t dream anything this good.

Forever . You think you hear in your mind, but you don’t know. You don’t know anything, you’re floating into blissful sleep.

In Nanami’s arms.

Chapter 10

Ao3 chap

https://archiveofourown.org/works/56003029/chapters/144721441#workskin

[ottosbigtop]

if you have any crumbs to share... about aac raz/lili/bobby dynamic pleeeez ramble to me i want info i'm so into this concept T_T

oh my guy I have so many crumbs for you. These guys have resided in the back of my brain forever but I was usually too embarrassed to say anything about it outside of a couple joke posts. But this is my house so I’m choosing to thrive and frolic.

Also a doodle of the aforementioned three before I enter my tangent :) rambling under the cut

the initial dynamic of these three goes something like

-Lili & Bobby - can’t stand his fake ass. She remembers having to deal with him at whispering rock and clearly is not very good at letting go of grudges from when she was ten. This is, in fact, Bobby’s worst nightmare. He was terrified of working for the psychonauts partially because he didn’t want to run into people he used to know. Surprise! They don’t like each other.

-Raz & Bobby. Raz has the complete opposite problem he literally barely remembers this guy. They interacted for maybe a collective hour one day when he was 10 years old, he only recalls him because Lili clocks him and reminds Raz. Bobby mostly hadn’t thought about him since camp, but did build a little (lot) bit of a resentment after seeing that weird little freak from camp pop up on different True Psychic Tales covers. That on top of Bobby now having to intern under this guy makes their relationship kind of spotty to start, for sure.

-Raz & Lili. Theyre having fun :) After having fun “dating” as real young kids they fall out of touch during their teen years when Raz goes to travel with then circus again to try and reconnect with his family (whole other can of worms for him.) They meet back up during the late teen years and sort of pick up right where they left off, dating off and on for a bit and “officially” dating long term for a little over a year now.

Both their relationships with Bobby evolve over time, naturally. Bobby and Raz have a whooole fucking thing that isn’t fully conceptualized and Is way too long a concept for me to share but their intern/mentor relationship does help them learn to get along with each other. And of course them getting along means Lili having to deal with being around Bobby more often and so it begins.

The whole ~ feelings ~ aspect mostly starts with her and Bobby I think, funnily enough. They hate each other, they want each other dead so bad, but eventually they have to learn to get along for Raz’s sake if nothing else. So they learn! Try to, at least. They’re both really bad at it.

but the “i hate you i want you dead” manages to evolve into that more friendly insulting banter some people have. “I hate you i want you dead” (complimentary.) It gives Raz a headache because it takes him a while to process that they’re usually joking when they’re arguing with each other now.

Lili doesn’t like when she starts to have Feelings about that shitty little freak (tm.) I think she’s somewhere on the Aro spectrum and when Raz wasn’t around she really never. Felt any sort of desire for romance with anyone else. Girl just kind of forgot about it for a bit until he showed up again. Which caused a lot of emotions. And then got used to that until Bobby is introduced into the equation and slowly she starts to feel things toward him that aren’t Rage and Disgust. Which causes a lot of emotions.

Raz I think is entirely oblivious of having any feelings toward him for the longest time. While Lili is a slow “oh god oh fuck” buildup, he’s just really happy he and Bobby are getting along at all that any sort of progress in affection toward him just feels like another big win for friendship. I think it hits him all at once late at night on a random Tuesday and he just sits up in bed and stares at a wall about it.

The whole Raz and Lili communicating abt the concept of polyamory would make this insane post already twice as long and it’s not a part of it all I’ve thought about anyways so we’re going to shelve it for now. But once they do reach the conclusion that they saw this guy from across the bar and they liked his vibe, they both proceed to trip over their own feet for the next however many weeks.

You see, “woman who does not process her emotions” and “guy who needs a twelve step plan for everything” is a prime combination for two people who are pulling some mad scientist shit to try and talk to this guy rather than just inviting him out to eat sometimes. And Bobby is convinced for a little bit that they’re planning to dissect his brain or something because they keep doing that ^

On Bobby’s side of this whole equation the evolution is just his own little torment nexus for a few months.

he initially discovers he’s got a thing for Lili after they start getting along more and it sucks for him. He enjoys their flirty little threats of violence but he’s also close with Raz at this point so I think it just kind of makes him feel . Gross . Like man am I flirting with my friend’s girlfriend I think I am. Oh he’s probably going to hate me. Help.

and that concern for Raz is also a guy in the back of his brain knocking on a door very loudly trying to tell him he’s bisexual but he’s not quite arrived at that conclusion. Give him a few more missions where Raz grabs him while he’s falling to his death and he’ll get there probably.

there’s so many words. These are so many words. I’ll be honest the wacky schenanigans of the “before relationship” era are so funny to me that I’ve not really had any conceptual ideas for them getting into + Being In a Relationship yet. But I hope that you like this at least! This insanely long ass post goes out to you and the one other guy who’s a fan of these three (hi)

[chemzee]

lil doodle of Morgan's Y4 appearance (or at least, his first appearance, which was during November-December)

ALSO!!! using this as an opportunity to post his updated lore. I didn't like his original lore at all, so I rewrote it practically from scratch.

It's going to be really long tho so here we go

✨🌙✨

Ok so I'll start off by saying Morgan's family is no longer cursed, nor are most of them dead, only Morgan being affected and not just randomly at some point of his life, but rather he was already born sickly (whenever it's somehow related with magic or some curse is still up for me to decide,but now, he's just a sick child whose illness (which is kinda fictional but resemblances anemia) while not terminal,does affect him quite a lot). I decided to get rid of that concept entirely and rewrite the dynamic Morgan has with his family, esp his uncle.

Other than scary, that experience was very isolating: he was sheltered all his life before going to Hogwarts, having absolutely no friends at all, which resulted in him developing no social skills at all. He wasn't particularly close to his family either, with perhaps an exception of his uncle, whowas more of his tutor/teacher.

Now, as I mentioned before, Morgan was born a very sickly child, having lots of heart and blood issues. He spent a good chunk of his childhood in bed and hospitals, constantly falling very ill, to the point of falling in coma/almost dying at least several times during that period of time. Fortunately, by the time he got into Hogwarts, his condition got manageable and he could live a relatively normal life, although he would often feel unwell, some days better, some days worse.

But being on verge of death so many times, especially as such a young child was a very scary and traumatizing experience for him, but a part of him grew accepting of death, coming to terms with the fact he probably won't live much shorter life compared to his peers (not talking about dying at 20-30, but rather ~50 now, a lil more if he gets lucky).

Whenever he wasn't in the hospital, he'd spent most of his time reading books, his favorite ones were horror novels and astronomy books, the later becoming a big interest of his. At around 8 years old, he started to write his own short stories, taking inspiration in the horror novels he read and they often were rather disturbing in nature. Or so his parents thought. He stopped sharing his writings with his family at some point bc he could tell they didn't like them much.

However, he does still live through the death of some of his relatives, witnessing one of them, which was of his uncle. After that, he started taking interest in necromancy (soon disappointed he can't really make someone truly alive again) and then it escalated to interest in dark arts in general. He'd read upon biographies of dark wizards and their crimes, but purely from theoretical standpoint. He found it interesting what pushes people to commit such terrible crimes.

When Morgan got to Hogwarts, his poor social skills didn't do him much good: he had a lot of troubles socializing, he was seen as weird and creepy, especially because of his interests. He had no friends there, being a "weird loner kid" throughout hus first few years there and even though he doesn't mind being alone due to being an intovert, he craved to find someone who'd understand him, somewhere to belong, a friend.

By the time of Y2/3, he came up wirh an idea of his own book: about a prisoner in Azkaban who reminisces his life, how from a kind-hearted teacher he became a dark arts user and necromancer. He started to do his research, especially about Azkaban and it's when he developed his strong distaste for the imprisonment system MoM imposed.

The more he researched, the more he was convinced on how nonsensical the system was: why lock up ALL criminals in the same place? Why lock up petty thieves, who perhaps only did that to support themselves due to economical issues with dangerous dark wizards, the worst kind of people on Earth? Why punish people who had no other choice so cruelly rather than help them? Why is there only one prison? Why not build rehabilitation centers? Why make people suffer for their crimes hoping they won't commit them again, rather than understand what pushed them to commit them in the first place and help prevent that from happening?

At some point, he approached one of Slytherin prefects, the one he knew was a son of a minister and aspired to become one day too, Joaquin Reedus, to ask him what he thought of idea of reforming the system to create rehabilitation centres for petty criminals, so they would have to stay in Azkaban of all places. Reedus was intrigued by this young boy and his idea and told him that he'll think about his proposal. And then, after a few days, decided to ask if he was interested in joining a group that opposes sone of ministry's ways (without mentioning the group's name).

Morgan, very young and naive, saw it as hid opportunity to find people who thought alike, people who would accept him, to find people he'd be able to call his friends. And so, he agreed.

The group was NOTME.

And unfortunately, that group was not as considerate as Morgan hoped they'd be.

[galactic-berries]

I really want to doodle my “Mafia!” TADC au so bad and ramble endlessly to the void that is known as Tumblr about it but i do not have the energy for that GRRR

(or, well, to doodle about it anyway. I will ramble rn)

I put quotation marks around “mafia” cause like. idk?? that’s how i describe it and it’s essentially what it is but also it feels odd using that term

i’ll add onto this with reposts but for now!

- - - - - - - -

Mafia! TADC AU

(Note: I mostly only have Jax’s part of this AU developed :v)

The “Circus Ring” is a large “organization” with factions all around the country, doing activities that are more than morally correct and ruling over cities and counties with an iron fist.

The “ringleader” of this so-called “Circus” is a man that goes by the name of “Caine,” rumored to be a terrifying and strict man…

Although everyone who works under him knows that’s only the side he shows in the most dire of situations. In reality, he’s a big goof who doesn’t seem to take anything seriously, and some of his faction leaders seem to dislike him for that same reason…though he does seem to have everything under control, so nobody outright complains to his face.

After a string of events, Pomni finds herself at a table in a meeting with the Ringleader and his faction leaders. Learning that her family was connected to this “circus,” and that Caine owes her late father a favor, he decided to take her under his wing!

Welcome to the family, “Jester”…

- - -

So this AU is *supposed* to be centered around Pomni as the main character, but since the Jax Virus™️ infected my brain, I mostly have stuff about him (and my oc Luna)

Jax — “Hat Rabbit” (idk maybe i’ll change the nickname i’m bad at names)

The youngest of the leaders means being the least mature of them all as well, though this rabbit is not the newest. Jax has been in the business for several years now and has forcefully worked his way up to the top, catching the watchful eye of Caine, who decided the young man was worthy enough to be put in charge of a faction. Leader of the “Violet Rabbits”, Jax wants to one day be the most feared and respected out of all the groups. Overthrow the Ringleader himself? Maybe one day. But, for now, this rabbit wants all eyes on him.

Jax owns several “fronts”, businesses that look normal on the outside, but hide secrets and shady businesses practices deep within. His favorites are “The Lavender Cottontail” bar and “The Rabbit Hole” casino. He does love games, after all…

Recently there’s been a newcomer to the circus. Jax isn’t very happy about this new event, though one wonders if it’s because Caine wants Pomni to look over the late “Kaufmo’s” faction…

- - -

Bonus Luna content:

Luna — “Patch Bunny”

Luna joined the “Circus Ring” some time before Kaufmo passed away and is the newest family member. Well, she was, until Pomni came around. After being under Caine’s mentorship for some time, he felt she was ready to join one of the factions. Deciding that Jax should start learning how to train new members and that Luna was capable enough, Caine appointed her to work under Jax for the Violet Rabbits.

So far, they haven’t killed each other.

Luna’s managed to make herself Jax’s right-hand-woman, her skills and intellect unable to be ignored or brushed aside by the rabbit. Some rumor that she’s planning to overthrow him and make herself leader of the Violet Rabbits instead…but those are just rumors.

[stepswordsen]

【Magi】 Judar 🖤❤️🐈‍⬛

【マギ】 漢服（ハンフ）を着るジュダル

【Magi】 Judar wearing hanfu 🖤❤️🐈‍⬛

マギ15周年おめでとう～！！💗🫶

Happy 15th anniversary to Magi~!! 💗🫶

I did a quick doodle of my favourite Magi character, Judar~~

You can read the rest of my rambles under the cut as usual!

2024

The sketch is originally from 2022, but I quickly resketched the hair and expression recently!

2022

Art Rambles

I just wanted to get the quick concept down so excuse how scribbly it is, I'll refine and redraw the rest eventually

Me scribbling his braids without refs. Well, I'll definitely resketch the hair and clothes eventually

I love how big and comfy hanfu sleeves are, omg...

Judar with red eyeliner and black nails is so slay~ I want to draw him with gold and red hanfu earrings eventually hehe

This bangs ngl~~

Also I'm glad I improved a LOT from 2022 omg

I'll refine later and make this less scribbly eventually

I looove the expressions and eyes in this one hehe

Judar Rambles

Judar is extremely important and personal to me, I feel this as someone who comes from a similar cultural background to him as well, Judar is EA/CN inspired and so his background and backstory context really makes me feel for him... Speaking personally, as someone who is Viet/SEA diaspora.

Like, ahhh, this character makes me so emotional... He makes me want to cry (in a good way)

Emotional tears, cuz this chara is so healing and cathartic for me.

It's not necessary for me to be able to relate to my faves imo. I pick my fave charas based on who makes the writing more entertaining with their existence and on my fave character tropes in terms of design and writing (they're usually antagonists, morally gray/evil charas, and/or opposing forces).

But with some charas I definitely gravitate towards characters who are easier for me to understand and mildly relate to though (ie. Judar (Magi), Hakuryuu (Magi), Suwon (AkaYona), Keishuk (AkaYona))

Sen's unhinged meow meow mf pipeline

I first became obsessed with Kuroha at 12, and Judar at 20.

Truly, my character tastes are as ancient as time LMFAO

My cute murderous black cat sons! 🐈‍⬛

I actually started the sketch as Kuroha (KagePro) actually. It doesn't help that they have similar~ish hairstyles and expression vibes LMAO, but then the eyes looked more like Judar cuz of the rings, so I changed the sketch to Judar. I think it fits more this way.

Smug edgy asshole character, cunty Sen-core bastard cat, OK with murder...

Black cat theme, black/white (monochrome) colour scheme/design, black/white/red/yellow colours, both smug evil assholes with black hair, they're both antagonists, morally questionable and/or morally bankrupt, have smug expression vibes, are unhinged, violent and bloodthirsty...

And ofc, I was a goner!

Kuroha has red eyes when using his Eye Ability too...

KHR and Magi's Anniversary

In terms of characters, story, writing, themes, and art, Magi is my favourite manga ever. For me, Katekyo Hitman Reborn (KHR) and Magi: The Labyrinth of Magic (Magi) forever hold a special place in my heart as my forever no. 1 favourite series.

Happy 20th anniversary to KHR~~!! 💗🫶

Lots of series are celebrating its anniversary this year. DGM's 20th Anniversary is also this year!

I might as well ramble about KHR and Magi then~~

I'd say both KHR and Magi are very important to me because KHR was the reason why I started drawing (almost) every day in the first place and Amano's style was the foundation/main inspiration for my art style... And it still shows in my art style. While Magi is the manga I fell in love with for its story, art, writing, and characters.

Amano and Ohtaka both have insanely good inking styles that I admire... I love how intricate and detailed Amano's inking is, and Ohtaka's inking is super gorgeous and sharp, and really stands out from other art styles too.

I expect DunMeshi to join that list and become very important to me!

[genericpuff]

Hi! Maybe this is a difficult question with no answer, but as a fan of Rekindled who might want to start their own comic, what do you suggest to avoid burnout? Do you start wiht writting the script right away, you doodle a bit,..? Thanks for reading, I love how you draw big noses, makes me more comfy with mine!

no fr my dark secret is that i've been experiencing burnout with my main original project that I've spent the last decade working on for literally a year now. this isn't the first long hiatus i've taken, the longest one i've ever been on has lasted two years, and it's undoubtedly not the last i'll experience because the lump of salt and fat and tissue that is my brain often overworks itself into exhaustion like a big dummy

rekindled has been my reprieve from the burnout. it has been my vacation from years of working on the same project, meeting the same deadlines, drawing the same characters, over and over and over again since before i was in college.

if there's anything working on rekindled has made clear to me, it's that i'm still capable of drawing comics. the comic-making isn't the problem. it's just that when you work on the same project for years and trap yourself in an uphill battle, eventually your climbing gear is bound to break.

if there's another thing that rekindled has opened my eyes to, it's the insanity that i put myself through prior to rekindled that led to my burnout in the first place.

i get people telling me that they couldn't imagine doing what i do, that even before i had my assistant helping me out, i was still able to put out 30-40 panel updates every week.

but before that, i was putting out 70-90 panel episodes of my original work. every week. full color. full spread action scenes. no assistant. very little financial gain aside from a couple patrons on patreon and one dedicated viewer on twitch, which i was also streaming on 2-3 times a week.

and now that i've been working on rekindled and even finding myself often crunched for time with that, i have zero clue, no idea, a complete lack of comprehension of how i pulled off 70-90 panels a week for months on end. there's a reason it resulted in burnout and i know that now. this comparison is not for the sake of a flex - this comparison is to make it clear that much of what i do isn't the norm and isn't exactly a healthy standard. case in point, i sneezed while sweeping up yesterday morning and it caused a muscle strain in my lower back/hips and i've been working out of my bed since, i'm in a lot of pain and it might mean i don't make any money this week if it's not better by the time i have to do my appointments at my day job on thursday. my need to create my personal passion projects is often at odds with my bad habits of not taking care of myself 。゜゜(´Ｏ`) ゜゜。

when it comes to tackling burnout, your guess is as good as mine. really it just comes down to rest. when burnout - real, true burnout - hits, it's not just "man i'm bored of working on this", it's "i can't even think of looking at this thing let alone working on it", it's basically akin to depression and it's an awful thing that i wouldn't even wish on my worst enemy (even with Rachel, I don't want to psychoanalyze her mental health but it does seem like she's possibly been experiencing burnout with LO for years now and that really sucks for her if that's true). so the solution is just as complicated as the cause, it's not something that you can just rest from for a week and come back from, it takes real long-term healing.

when I found my way out of that 2 year hiatus, it was in spring of 2019 and I decided to just work on a random comic page that wasn't even in the comic I was working on. and then suddenly it was like a switch flicked back into the on position and i didn't even finish what i was working on, i just went back to my original project and i kept working on it until it was finally finished at the end of 2021. as suddenly and randomly as it had set in, it was gone. but i can't just do the same thing this time, it just doesn't work that way.

that said, through all this, i've learned that my need to create is not restricted to any one tangible thing, i'm not doomed or designed to stick with the same words, the same faces, the same ideas until the end of time. while i do try to keep up healthy routines for myself to ensure i'm looking out for my future self and their deadlines and their upload schedules, sometimes the heart wants what the heart wants. and in my case, the heart wanted to take a break from the self-reflective psychological analysis dark fantasy weebo stuff and just draw some pink and blue characters a little less ugly. the self-reflective weebo shit will still be there when i'm done with the pink and blue stuff, and i'll surely have loads of new things to unpack through it once i return.

there are still times when i'm working on rekindled and i'm feeling the creeping hand of my routine destruction digging its claws into my back. the reality is that 30-40 panels is still a lot for someone like myself who's doing this entirely for free, but my definition of normal for a while was so insanely inhumane that even what's still considered a lot by most people's standards feels sane and normal to me after what i put myself through.

i've learned to be more gentle with myself, and to loosen my own expectations of what i'm capable of to ensure i don't do anything like that to myself, by myself, again. i give myself room to create without expectations or the pressure of eyes watching when i can, and i remind myself that even if burnout rears its head again, and again, and again, the will to create is not gone. it's just tired, and resting, and growing, and healing as i am.

anyways that turned into a self-reflective essay post, to answer your question about making stuff ahead of time, i find that's more helpful with just like, planning out a structured story (so you don't write yourself into a corner) but whether or not it helps with burnout kind of depends. because it can just as also easily be the cause of the problem because constantly seeing the stuff you wanna be drawing so far away can be just as much of a morale killer as a motivator. some of the stuff i'm super psyched to write and draw with time gate is years away and that timeline grows longer the more the burnout goes on which makes the struggle feel even more overwhelming and pointless and defeating. so plan ahead, but keep it all within your means if you can. i find what works for me is planning out just general beat-to-beat plot structures (to ensure i at least have a plot skeleton going on so i know where i'm going) then i leave the finer details to when the actual episode i've planned gets closer to fruition and i can get myself in the headspace to write it fully.

also remember that just because you're really excited and motivated to work on your comic doesn't mean you should work yourself into exhaustion - it's a good thing if you're going through the mundane of your daily routine and the whole time you're hyped af to work on your hobby/personal project/etc. because that's what will keep you moving forward, so don't spend all that hype in one place by working and working and working until you're exhausted, because that hype is REALLY hard to get back after you've spent it all.

long post over! hope that helps! best of luck in your projects! ( ´ ∀ `)ノ～ ♡

[jaminster]

Hello, I come from the notes on the "reblog to let people know it's ok to bother you with questions and statements" post, so I'm not a regular follower, I apologize. I see you write fanfics, is there any fanfic you've written that you want to talk about? If not, is there a fanfic you've reading recently you want to share? Hope you have a nice day!

Hello! I'm so excited to answer this Ask because they're not common, and just want to thank you for showing interest!

I would love to talk about my latest fanfic that's still a WIP, called "Yearning Melody". It's in the Left4Dead2 fandom and a slow-burn romance between two of the canon characters: Nicholas and Ellis! The fic is set in Chicago in the fabulous 1950's and Nicholas is a miserable crooner (singer like Frank Sinatra) who's trying to escape his taunting past, while Ellis is a simple mechanic who's moved to Chicago recently with his buddies (Keith and Dave) to run a autoshop, and happens to be a big fan Nicholas (especially the covers he sings)!

The fic is slow-burn and I mean slow-burn so unfortunately it's a little slow pace, basically torturing myself at this point, but I've got a whole plot planned for it and it'll help with both of their development! It's a little serious in a way because of the issues these characters have/will endure in the future fics, but it's fun to write!

I know this type of fic isn't too popular or interesting, but I read this really great fic called New York New York written by @bigbadsnakedad, which inspired me to write something set in a similar period but with a different plot (NYNY is about mobboss Nick and mechanic Ellis). Really good fic and I've reread it a million times, so I recommend it if you're interested in things like that.

I also plan on writing another fic sometime in the future about Ellis getting the Jockey strain and just exploring one of my fav characters going through the scary stages of becoming a Jockey. I don't know if this will be a ship fic, I haven't properly sat down and planned it, but maybe it'll be a ship fic. Who knows! Just wanna write a scary fic like that tbh.

Also there's this amazing writer named @daddyellis (Rowan) and he's written a million Nellis fics. He's got this massive series called Synchronicity (The Choices We Made That Day) with 3 works so far and it's bloody delicious, but his most recent writing is The Sweetest Façade. Overall just check 'em out if you're interested in the L4D2 Nellis fandom!

Another amazing writer is @grimmywrites, who's also somewhat inspired me to write something like Yearning Melody. She's got a load of fanfics under Nellis and she's written for other fandoms too! Currently, the fic that's one of my favourites is Pollice Verso (I've doodled some things for that fic too) and it's a historical story set in Anicent Rome, about gladiator Nick and son of senator, Ellis. Overall, she's an amazing writer!

Now remembering another amazing long-term fic that’s being written by @ladyred-ms, called Blind Man’s Bluff! It’s one of those rare fics that have been going on for many years, and the plot thickens with every new chapter. It’s taught me a lot of stuff and helped me get out of a tricky situation by first making me realise said-situation. This fic does have some heavy scenes but it’s perfectly and accurately written in my opinion, so please do check it out if you’d be interested in something like that.

Anyways, thank you so much for letting me yap about my silly fic and all other amazing writers, I really appreciate this ask and it's made my year honestly (LMAO) because I've been having a rough time. There's a hundred other authors who've written amazing fics under Nellis and L4D2 overall so yeah! Thanks again for the Ask, I hope you have an amazing day too! <3<3<3

[snackugaki-jestsjapesjokes]

blep blah, here have some old ass backrooms doodle content when the topic of "the beach episode" concept came up bluhp blooh brain nyooming but art hand isn't arting

i think what is super cute in modern fandom expression that I've seen is that in terms of making OCs or AUs is that sound seems to have a bigger role now than from what I remember when I was young. which I'm thinking has a lot to do with being able to clip audio easily or being able to make multi-track playlists whenever. y'all out here with reels of your art with voice claims and some of the most thoughtfully and artfully crafted soundtracks-- not even playlists, some of that shit is a straight up soundtrack level be real

89% tempted to try one of those shady "free" video/audio editing programs to make a LoFi chill beats study girl visualizer playlist with my iteration's boys ...

anyway gonna contemplate music headcanons for my iteration under the cut

From Turtle Tracks fan letter section, Archie run, #24

so real quick, my iteration is literally just them chilling, hanging out, being together in their mid 30s- early 40s, and then sometimes flashing back to their child/teen years in the 90s because tl;dr i have miiiiiinor beef my childhood turtles weren't quite as "90s" as they "could have been" (nvm I'm cackling at the milennial pop culture refs in Mutant Mayhem drop kicking me back into my adolescence)

but mehehehehe, keeping that they listened to Public Enemy and The Jungle Brothers

and aside from Top 40 musicians of the time... I feel like being outsiders themselves, having to sneak around to explore and learn about people and what's above the sewers had them eavesdropping into a lot of nighttime venues and getting into the underground and various niche subculture scenes that daytime Top 40 didn't play.

cannot tell me the lights, thumping and noise from bands playing hardcore or house or hosting cyphers or raves didn't attract these curious and funky little green dudes like moths to a flame

... Leo definitely fell in deep with the gregorian chant phase, soothing sounds of nature fads , a big fan of Orbital and he fell into that electronic, house, trance, eurodance rabbit hole right after. he also got into Celtic folk music but when his brothers caught his ass studying Michael Flatley to incorporate Riverdance footwork into his ninjutsu he got teased so mercilessly that he took great care to hide listening to it... which just made his stealth better so joke's on them heehoo

Not to mention they're from New York City, the underground music scene is always bangin' no matter the decade; feel like rap and punk got a lot of tracks on their mix tapes back in the day

Raph getting into the metal scene in his own exploring the city trips, and then progressed to music with that boom bap sound (cuz baby boy needs a way to come down off those high intensity moods idk ijs)

Donnie... just the amalgamation of his brothers, he needs that background noise while he's chewing on schematics and protoype development, he would definitely have been the mixtape maker/recording bootlegger (along with Mikey)

Mikey absolutely tagged along with his brothers sometimes whenever they went to their spots for music, though he himself backflipped into ska 'cuz Mikey is always for the people

my tmnt  iteration (where everyone made it past their 20s, splinter’s alive just old, venus is here, and they deserve some goddamn respite and shenanigans)

tmnt  iteration part 1 | part 2 | part 3 | part 4 | part 5 | part 6 | part 7 | part 8 | part 9 | part 10 | part 11

tmnt  iteration omake 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11

lny visit 1 | 2

Keep reading

[aealzx]

Excuse me while I doodle something that popped into my head reading the most recent stuff I've read for Twin Signal.

There's a point where after having Signal call them brothers a few times Pulse responds "I've been meaning to tell you this for awhile, but don't make me your brother without asking!! I don't remember having a 'little brother'"

Which is honestly fair because Pulse was over seas with Nobuhiko's parents when Signal was made and never heard about him until he got kidnapped and reprogrammed to specifically go hunt down Signal and kill him |D

Also no I didn't color Signal's hair wrong XD Earlier in the story he has blue hair and a red jacket. It changes color later because Mira (the really freaking awesome stuff he's made of) just does things like that.

BTW you guys can look at the manga here, but it’s only in Japanese. (Yes I am stubbornly translating it myself just so I can read it. I’d be happy to share, but it’s literally sticky notes in hard copies and I dunno how to share that ;v; )

And then just because chapter/episode 9+10 stabbed me in the feels I'm gonna gush about the story/characters and nuances of japanese below the cut.

Okay, preface this with the fact that I’ve only had 2 years of Japanese in college, and this is my first time trying to translate anything. I might be wrong on some things, but this is just me rambling about how much I love the nuances you can get with the JP language compared to english.

I just got (mostly) through the part where Pulse is introduced, and first of all Signal had no idea he had a prototype, and his first response is adorable in itself with him immediately going “In other words, he’s my older brother” using “Ani” as the term for “older brother”

Which is cute in itself. Boy's latching onto someone he's never met X'D And throughout the chapter/episode when referring to Pulse he keeps using “Ani”, “Pulse”, ”Sibling”.

But after finding Pulse (who has been reprogrammed to want to kill Signal), Signal switched to “Niisan” when he’s talking about how it makes him sad that his older brother is being controlled by a cheap program. Which the difference is “Ani”/”Aniki” is usually a more like… formal/semi distant way to refer to your older brother, while “Niisan” is more affectionate and generally used by children. It's like using "Papa" instead of "Father" and I just ahadlfhajsdfladf Signaaaalll why are you being so cute QAQ

And there’s even more in this chapter!!!

He refers to himself as Pulse’s little brother, and feels responsible for stopping Pulse.

And later, Nobuhiko gets in danger from the fight and Signal instantly goes to protect him but leaves himself open as a sitting duck for Pulse to attack.

And Pulse asks him why he would do that and instead of answering something about Nobuhiko being a human and Signal being a robot and therefore Nobuhiko is more important, or that it’s just his job since he was programmed to be Nobuhiko’s older brother, he says “I’m programmed to be Nobuhiko’s older brother - But more than that! Nobuhiko is my brother, my little brother!!”

And I’m just over here with my butter heart melting uguuuuhhhhhhh TVT I'm such a sucker for brother characterrrrs~

And reading all this together I can help but think- Signal??? Boy??? Are you just secretly wanting a big bro too that’ll keep you safe like you do for Nobuhiko?? Is that why you latched onto Pulse so quickly??? Adjkfahsdfkasd

These boys qVq I love them

[moonlight-coffeebean-147]

Doodles featuring @twistedtummies2 ft. Usagi. Or as I like to call it… late night doodles to distract myself from how I’m being boiled alive in my apartment/hj (The boiler’s being garbage)

1. Not much to say other than it’s just based on a meme 😂 And I love Smitty’s confused face here

2 & 3

It’s super funny drawing Elias as dog images 😂 Especially with the second which I felt goes perfectly with that part in Chapter two of his introduction story. There is a third one that is still a w.i.p. But I might finish it. Btw…. At this point I’m basically gonna be known as the “Elias artist” aren’t I? 😂/lh

4. I was originally gonna do all of your Twisted ocs… but I need to at least try to sleep it’s like 3 AM 😭. Plus to me it’d be poetic for me since these four were the characters that were the most developed and I grew the most familiar with when I first discovered your page. With this I added how I drew their eyes… since I’m trying to practice with eye style variety. Technical details:

Nakoda: I’ve actually doodled him once in one of my sketchbooks before. And he was actually fairly easy to draw, I’ve had ocs that had similar hair to him before. And… I have plenty of ocs who are just as flirtatious as he is and have made the exact look I drew him with 😂

Billy: Other than Elias… he was the easiest to draw and figure out how he’d work in my style. I was at first worried about his hair since it was my first time drawing his kind of hairstyle and I’m not that used to drawing short hair. But it actually worked out. It also helped that he’s similar to one of my own giant ocs in terms of personality. Fun fact, to the point where I almost thought he had freckles… which is a trait on my oc… but he doesn’t so… 👌

Elias: Is it obvious who my favorite is 😭

Reno: ……I’m just gonna say it. His hair SUCKED to draw 😭😂 I don’t know if it’s because I’m tired… the heat was getting to me.. or what… but his hair was not working out. Like with Billy I’ve at least drawn hair similar to his in the past… with Reno it was like the first time I’ve ever drawn that hairstyle in general. Even now I’m still not that happy with it… even in the first doodle. Like bruh I just 🥲I know that’s probably just me being over critical of myself since this does count as fanart of someone’s ocs, not just that, but someone who I admire the work of, believe me my years of participating in Art Fight has familiarized me with that feeling but just….. don’t be an artist guys 😭/j. Maybe when I do the others I’ll redo him.

5. ….Usagi going through how I feel right now

Don’t know who’s next to her… could be any of the pred lads… Insert “Twisted Wonderland isn’t an Otome Game” joke here. Though I do think this could be an interesting Vore concept… being so hot and just done that even the idea of being in a warm stomach is just… “bruh can you not?” 😂. Btw… this is how Usagi acts when their in one of her moods… a lot more snappy, sarcastic, and blunt with their wording…. I wish your bois good luck with that. Also fact about Usagi is that they literally have trouble finding pjs their size since she’s a frail little thing.

Also fair warning to all the Vore enthusiasts.. it’s not necessarily a big kink for me, hell it’s why safe Vore is in the neutral section of my pinned post so in turn….. I don’t take it seriously. I very much make a lot more jokes and memes involving it.

6. To end things off… this

Death stare Usagi. Is not something to be messed with. They may be small… but they will bite and is legitimately terrifying sometimes.

Would like to know reactions to not even just Usagi, the Prefect in general making this face 😂

Anyways that’s all from me for tonight…. Or morning technically lol

Moon signing off… wish me luck in this heat. Art is hard

[soupedepates]

New Year's Eve part.10

Continuing the saga!

Sigi and Kaizarz belong to @corneille-but-not-the-author

Oli belongs to @thal-ent

Tyr and Fenrir belong to @hel-phoenyx

And Meili belongs to @azeler

He loves me. He loves me. He loves me. He loves me. He loves me. He loves me. He loves me. He loves me. He...

I am doodling on my diary with pink and glittery ink, small hearts and writing the name of the persons I love. Oli. Kaizarz. Tyr. Sigi. And damn. He loves me. Sigismund loves me.

He loves me, you understand? He loves me!

He loves me... So perhaps they love me. So perhaps I am wrong and I am lovable. I deserve to live and I am loved and that's not just in my head or in my dreams.

And

Yeah

Fenrir.

I have gone too far; I should apologize. But damn, all I wanna say to him is "Drink my fucking period blood and choke on it". There is a "i h8 im" in light purple next to his name. Honestly, ACAB. But ACAB is mostly for him right now.

And.

Oh wait a sec my sister's calling.

"Salaam, Qamar, what's up?"

Funny that my sis is the only one going solely by her Arabic name. Egill is only called Walid by our grandma and aunts. Sigsteinn is never referred as Fahd. And I... Welp. I cut contacts with my parents - should've not blamed me for getting pregnant with my maths teacher at 17. BUT BEFORE THAT, it was Masuda with the elders, and Domhildr otherwise.

But then again, I am the only one of my siblings with an almost perfect white-passing.

"Alaikum as-salam, you who have played dead for what, seventeen days?" my sister playfully answers. "You sound awfully happy, masha'Allah that's a pleasure to hear after Oli told me you were extremely under the weather. I've got good news for you: Umran is coming in France with his side of the family for the wedding! I'm so excited to see aunt Hafsa and uncle Omar!"

I can't help but giggle.

"And that comes to my second point: I invited all your friends to my wedding, they should get the invite during the week," she tells me as I'm starting to chuckle. I have more or less an idea of what her wedding might look like, so the thought of Kaizarz and Tyr dancing dabke and Meili surrounded by Arabs, with my hijabi aunts, sister and cousin, and also the smile of Oli before the profusion of good food, makes me giddy. She resumes her speech: "Which means, as my beloved big sister, you have a plus one to choose. I was thinking about the "new guy", I would be delighted to meet him properly."

I blush so violently I think Qamar can hear it through the phone. I smile, sigh like a diva, and compose my answer.

"I am still not on good terms with our parents, you know, and I don't want to put Sigi through it. He is, like, a knight in shining armour y'know, and I really don't want him to know about that thing."

"It's not like it was your fault."

"But it was", I laugh. "I opened my legs."

"Domhildr, I..." She is likely rolling her eyes right now. "I won't have that conversation with you. The conversation we will have instead is that my wedding."

"You want a religious celebration, the big fat Lebanese wedding, right?"

And the Lulea would love to spend a lot of money to prove immigration hasn't left them paupers. Eh. At least my baby sister will have a princess wedding and I'm happy for her.

"On that point, we decided with my fiancé that the nikah will be at the mosque."

"...are you saying I should tone down my girlboss energy?"

"Only for the nikah", she exclaims. "You can change afterwards, but if you can dress modestly for-"

"Qamar, y'know what? I'll wear modest clothes and make the veil sexy. Just as God intended."

Because it's your wedding and even if I hate not dressing like myself, it is your big day. I can make it work. She chuckles on the other side of the phone.

"Thanks Masuda. It means a lot for me."

"Gotta repay for the time I framed you for breaking that window."

She laughs again. Damn. My baby sister is growing up so fast.

***

"Yaaaay, you made it!" I shout as I see Sigismund, very sexy in a civilian attire I must say, just before I come to hug him tight and put a light kiss on his cheek. I love him. He loves me. I am happy. "I wasn't sure you would be down for shopping so I'm sooo glad you're here!"

"I am glad to see you in a better shape," he softly says while his gaze tenderly covers me. "And I'm not sure I understood your story about a wedding... can you elaborate?"

"My sister's getting married. In May. Big wedding, and she is a pious Muslim, so she and her guy want to do the nikah at the mosque. I need modest clothing and a pretty scarf for my hair, y'know. Can't show up before the imam with my microskirt, tattoos, and quite wonderful cleavage." He lets out a cute giggle. "And I wanted to have you as a plus one. Everyone of my squad already got invited, and you're really important to me so... DON'T PANIC IT'S IN MAY I DON'T HAVE THE PRECISE DATE YET. JUST... just think about it."

"...Yes because it is so sudden and my father is..."

"Do I love you or your father?"

He stays silent. His cheeks redden instantly.

"And we haven't defined our relationship yet and..."

"Shopping and then coffee for the big big talk?"

He nods. I put my head against his arm, all smile and giggles, before taking his hand in mine.

"I may know some people so don't panic if I get heckled in Arabic, for, y'know, the wedding. From what I've gathered from my brothers they invited a LOT of people. And the groom is quite a social butterfly. He is a nice man, really, Amine is a dear and they have such a romantic love story... and he knows a lot of people and he invited them."

He suddenly looks pale. I squeeze slowly his hand.

"Hey. Breathe in. Breathe out. We're just going shopping. I'll handle the social interactions, okay? And if you're uncomfy, tell me and we're leaving and calling it a day."

"...Okay", he whispers, still with that preoccupied expression on his face.

"Hey Sigi..."

"What?"

"I'm really happy you're here and you're spending time with me. You're just wonderful."

His face softens a bit. That's a win.

***

As soon as we entered the store, the auntie, who is also the one running the place - I'm coming here for modest clothing and, more importantly, cute modest clothing - and who is a good friend of my mother and my maternal aunt, calls me out in Arabic by saying: "Ya'Allah Masuda you haven't changed! I've heard you're a cook now, that's great, you're independent! You're here to prepare Qamar's wedding, right?"

"Aha, you know everything, auntie", I reply instantly. I haven't always liked Khadidja. She has had a lot of charadev since I left my parents' place. From quite a judgy person she has become a way more understanding woman. I know she has a daughter she loves more than anything in the world, girl is younger than me and Qamar, and I think it helped. "I need a cute dress, a cute scarf for my hair, but if you have an ensemble with pants that would do I'm taking it."

"And who is this beautiful boy, Masuda? Is he your husband?"

"What is she saying?" Sigismund asks, puzzled and confused while seeing me quite violently blushing.

"Nothing, she is saying nothing, w-we're going this way!" I shout, red as a poppy, almost dragging Sigi with me, while auntie Khadidja has a hearty laugh.

Auntie Khadidja doesn't only sell modest clothing for weddings and stuff. No no no. She sells formal clothes for women. From very the Occidental wedding dress to cocktail dresses and formal women suits, with of course what I am looking for. Aaaaaah, that dark red dress is divine but wayyy too revealing. Sigi's looking at it too. Quite intensely even. Touching the fabric. Pensive.

"She is pretty, ain't it?"

"What?"

"The dress, I mean", I precise.

"Ahem... yes? Ahem..." He looks for his words. "You would look great in it but I thought you wanted modest clothes..."

"Not my size anyway. Too long. But you should try it", I suggest.

"What? No, I..."

"You should. It's decided", I claim as I take that beautiful piece in my arms. "The fitting rooms are this way and I want you out of it in this heavenly stuff."

"Doesn't the manager of this store would be mad at me for that?"

He seems genuinely terrified. Like a kid. Almost about to cry. I manage to slowly take his hand, and murmure to him:

"Auntie Khadidja's beloved daughter came out as a trans girl like five years ago, and if Khadidja is still quite conservative on a lot of things she doesn't care who tries on her dresses anymore, be it a man, a woman, a non-binary person like Oli, she couldn't care less. As long as she can do business it's all good. She's a businesswoman. And I will spend more than a hundred bucks here so she will be delighted."

"I..."

"It's just a dress. Just fabric. Really pretty, but overall just fabric. That doesn't mean anything profound, y'know."

He whispers almost like a sob. "...You're sure I can try it?"

"Positive."

"That you won't see me as a degenerate?"

"If anything I will see you as the hottest stuff around~"

He has a faint smile and pink on his cheeks. He is so cute. So fucking cute. And look at him go to the fitting room with the dress! Look at him disappearing behind the curtain... I browse through a couple of dresses to find another one that could fit him. I think I'm onto something, right now. Really onto something.

Sigi moves aside the curtain and I've never seen such pure glee enlightening a face before. He looks at himself in the mirror with a smile. I look at his silhouette - oh my God is it legal to be that beautiful? My heart is about to combust.

"You're gorgeous", I say pathetically because I am no good with poetry. A better bard would have sung his beauty but I am just stunned.

"You think?"

Happy tears forming in his eyes. They're like pearls, jewels highlighting the beauty of their bearer.

"I am sure. 100%. You look... woah. You're dashing."

I tilt my head to the blue dress, which provides more coverage but with princess sleeves and a short train. It's made for a maid of honour I suppose.

"Wanna try this one too?"

"Can I?"

He suddenly looks so excited. Wallah he is so cute.

***

But the dreaded moment arrives. I have to choose my outfit. And Sigismund is way more into it than I am and that's so fucking adorable. He's more and more comfortable with feeling the fabrics, the laces, the silk, the satin...

"You need a shawl for the religious ceremony, right?"

"Yep", I sigh, not particularly thrilled at the idea to veil. I mean, when I was praying, well before I distanced myself from religion, I did use to veil to pray. "You know, to cover my hair at the mosque. But as soon as the nikah ends I'm throwing it."

"I think this one would be really cute on you", he says while handing me a long shawl, light fabric, gauze probably. Its colour variation reminds me of the sea, with its silvery reflects. "You could use it as a scarf too, it would suit you really well on the daily."

I try to wrap it over my head and my shoulders, very loosely. I don't aim to look like my most practising family members, but hey.

Very demure.

Very mindful.

And the fabric feels fine.

"I like it", I admit. "Now I have to find something that goes with it."

"On that point..."

With a devilish - and so sexy - smile, he shows me an iridescent bluish dress. Covering everything, of course, but quite figure-hugging until the hips.

"Try this on."

Oh babygirl I don't need to try this on. The mere fact you picked it for me makes me love it.

But I try it anyway. And it fits like a glove, it's just a tad bit too long. Sigi looks at me with sparkles in his eyes.

"You're stunning."

I go back to change, butterflies swarming in my stomach. Immediately as I get out of the fitting room, I kiss him on the cheek, wait for a second contemplating his mouth. I put a light peck on his lips, before letting go and start running to auntie Khadidja to pay everything - my outfit, and the dress he finally chose.

"DOMHILDR!"

I laugh.

"Catch me if you can, or everything is on me~"