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magellanicclouds · 5 months

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Halo - An Essay: regarding waste management systems and devices for MJOLNIR armoured Spartans It has been a hectic sort of few weeks. Between work and getting sick again (for the fourth time already this year thanks to my crewmates who can't remember it's their duty to stay home when they're ill) I've been on the outs. I haven't had the energy for much, but I'm usually a pretty active person, so this has kind of made me loopy? Which feels like as good a time as any to talk at length about the concept of catheterizing Spartans for waste management in MJOLNIR.

Let me explain.

This Silly Post crossed my dash recently and I fully understand it is meant as lighthearted fun - we have fun here. But it also dragged out some strong thoughts I've had haunting in the back of my mind about this for years because I'm super normal about Halo, and have time on my hands and the right amount of sleep deprivation and medication on board. So I wrote 3500 words about it. And about Karen Traviss, who is pretty knotted up in this conversation, since she's the one who decided to start it back in 2011.

To preface, I'm not an expert, but I have worked in emergency medicine for 25 years, and been a fan of Halo for almost as long. I've had more of a lukewarm relationship with it the last decade or so if I'm being honest, but it will always have a home in my heart; I just think letting it under my skin like that in the first place may have made me feral and prone to biting. Thankfully, I can always happily rotate Fred in my mind until the heat-death of the universe, so that's nice. Anyway, full disclosure: the essay below contains discussion about medical devices, physical trauma, and I am sharing quite a lot of personal negativity about the Kilo-5 trilogy and Karen Traviss. That said, if you'd like to sit in on the length of what I'm about to yell into the sky about all this, you can find it under the cut. I love you.

Welcome to my dissertation.

Section 1 - The Relevant Background:

Equipping Spartans with urinary catheters weeded itself into the Halo universe in the 2011 book Halo: Glasslands, during a conversation between Spartan II Naomi-010 and ODST Mal Geffen. Glasslands was the first in Karen Traviss's Kilo-5 trilogy, and she is both the originator of this, and the only official Halo author or source to have used catheters specifically since. Some context: I don't personally like these books, or their author, or even her reasoning for why she chose to add this. My personal preference doesn't make something 'bad', and I'm not out to hurt any feelings. Kilo-5 isn't a total wash for me, there are some characters and ideas that I'd of otherwise loved to have seen explored through the lens of a different author, but these books felt smothered under Traviss's habit of always injecting her very loud personal voice into the narrative fabric. I think this is something that's fine to do in an original series, but doesn't really belong in an established third party IP. She bangs on about so much of her own narrow worldview and self-assured prejudices across the trilogy that still discussing them today creates division in the fandom, and sadly did a lot of lasting damage to a couple characters. But for the topic here, the dialogue that started all this cath chat came from Naomi-010, having idle conversation with Mal who asks her about bathroom breaks. “I’m catheterized. Another reason why that machine has to be so precisely calibrated. This suit plugs into me in a lot of places.” 'The Machine' she's referring to is a Brokkr assembly, which was introduced to the lore as a large mechanical armature used to get Spartans in and out of MJOLNIR. You can see them in action in cinematics from Halo 4 (+Spartan Ops) and 5.

One single mention, and it was big news. Traviss was naturally interviewed about it because of course she was - people can't help themselves but forget an entire novel and tunnel vision on 'but how pee pee?', and her answer has always irritated me. It's not in what she says, so much as what 'what she says' means in her voice. Traviss didn't answer it directly, but instead talked about how she likes to get into character's heads by addressing the mundane necessity of things that often go overlooked to expand a sense of familiarity with the character and their world. Sounds super reasonable, I know, but don't give her too much credit - that's not a quote. It's just me paraphrasing and honestly I was pretty generous in my wording. Probably because I agree! What bugs me about it, is if you've ever read literally any interview with her, or her personal musings about her writing process, you know there's a bit of an 'honesty' issue there. She's somebody who feels perfectly comfortable ignoring established character voices, traits, or histories to satisfy whatever roles she's reinvented for them, and too many others wind up as mouthpieces. How much are you really challenging yourself in finding characters' voices when most of them are just yours? And the part about familiarity with their world? I giggled a little. She doesn't care about their world, or their aesthetics, or their technology, or their medicine. Because she didn't care about Halo while writing these, and she's not vague about admitting that. It's a matter of pride for her to purposefully refuse to research those things, in the same way she disregarded Star Wars and Gears of War - she doesn't consider the effort to be a valuable part of her process. So instead she'll skim the foundation, gather some recognizable names, pick her targets, and trusts that her personal experiences combined with an outsider perspective will generate better content to seamlessly overwrite what existed. Cool, Karen. Annoying, but why bring all that up? We're here to talk about catheters, right? Well, the fandom for the most part begin and end their assessment of the dialogue at urinary catheters, but the whole quote implies so much more than that - "This suit plugs into me in a lot of places." We're not just dealing with a cath, but apparently with multiple additional external-to-invasive connections. Reader, this dialogue is a plinth to Traviss's bizarre refusal to research not only the franchises she's contracted to write in, but also just into the basic function and hazards of existing concepts that she wants to introduce, and all because she's convinced herself she's done learning about the world. Choosing to ignore the creative freedom of limitless potential in a future of technology that would be basically magic to us today, and instead degrade 529 years of advancement is certainly a take, but it's even more ridiculous to do it with a subject (The Spartan Programme) that is considered to be the peak of advancement in that future's setting. That's clownery, just like her alleged commitment to adjusting her perspective to suit a universe's world.

I want to close out this section with a question: Why is it that writers in the Halo space - both fan and official - cling so tightly to current-day modern concepts as if they'd still be perfectly relevant in 500+ years? Music, for example, apparently suffered a multi-century stagnation in lots of published and fanmade Halo media. Though my partner made a strong counterpoint about this to be fair: we still listen to music composed by Mozart. So there's an argument to be made there. Medicine though. There is way less latitude to embrace the classics there. It's been shown across several games, novels, and films to be sufficiently advanced well beyond anything we're currently capable of or even understand, so why undermine that and choose to drag it centuries backward? For clarity, I am not talking about what might be standard in the public or private sectors, nor the enduring things that'd be used by the public and military alike, like sterile dressings, syringes, supplemental oxygen equipment. Those are the Basics and they will be relevant to us indefinitely. But I'm talking about the UNSC. I'm talking about ONI R&D. I'm talking about Section Three. Retrograding tech and failing to address a necessity that applies to every living person in the Super Soldier Wizardry department makes my mouth flatten into a tight little line.

Section Two - Caths, and why this whole thing got written:

Indwelling urinary catheters, both urethral and suprapubic. There's a laundry list of problems here, but I've distilled it down to the three biggest when suggesting they'd have any safe practical application in Spartans: Care. Activity. Damage. There is unreasonable expectations of care and maintenance for caths with regards to people who can be on operations isolated for months at a time with no support of any kind and are often limited to carrying only what can be kept on their person. The level of extreme physical activity Spartans engage in on any perfectly normal day whether deployed or not is unfit for the stability and safety of a cath. And damage; obvious enough, but with this one I'll be taking a huge emphasis on concussive forces - explosions. Something Spartans are subjected to a lot. I'll be using the height of modern-day catheter quality as a baseline for this, since that's what Traviss felt was sufficient. Regarding Urethral vs Suprapubic, Traviss doesn't specify by name, but Naomi's comment in full reads to me that she's only catheterized temporarily while armoured, hence the assembly needing to be so finely calibrated. Foley caths are temporary urethral caths that would only supplement the urinary process while a person was armoured. Suprapubic caths however are surgically placed devices. They do need routine tube replacement to keep them clean, but unlike the Foley that just serves as an aide measure for an otherwise fully functioning bladder, suprapubic caths are usually placed in people with congenital bladder disfunction, or who've suffered injury or disease that left the bladder in poor health or failure. This type of access will always require a tube in place and this would be the exclusive method of urination - in or out of armour. My Big Three Concerns fit both types similarly, though there is some additional risks associated with urethral caths that I'll cover.

Care: Caring for an invasive cath is a not insignificant effort. They're prone to blockage, kinking, and bacterial growth. They're so frequently responsible for UTIs and kidney stones that these complications are just considered the Standard Fair for having a cath. Their need to be frequently replaced because of their penchant for bacterial growth is the kicker here - whole floral colonies sprout up in caths and can eek their way out into the body through compromised tissue and wreck havoc. They have no self-cleaning mechanism, and steadily deteriorate. Changing and replacing an indwelling cath is a procedure that requires additional supplies that'd have to be carried, and needs to be done in a practiced and clean setting; preferably medical. Granted, there are people who manage the removal and insertion of their own caths at home, but they still need to ensure a clean and safe environment while they do this. A Spartan could never be guaranteed that, nor would it even be wise to consider the vulnerability of removing so much armour to handle it. Modern day caths are recommended to be replaced every 30 days or so, with some models able to be in place for a few months at a time, but that's with constant daily care and cleaning; something that'd be unreasonable for a Spartan to maintain while entrenched who knows where for who knows how long, and without access to replacement medical supplies. Those endurance times between replacements are geared for the average public person who leads an average public life and care for their cath as directed and don't get into fist fights with Sangheili. Needless to say, the endurance time for the same device in a Spartan who leads a wildly different lifestyle probably cuts those times down to a third.

Activity: Modern day caths are designed to offer people the most utility and versatility possible. Both models are available for people who are bed-bound or have extremely limited mobility, as well as for those who are mobile, independent, and live out average lives. With regards to the latter, suprapubics are somewhat more common, if for no other reason than to reduce the Foley's higher risks of induction injury, but modern urethral caths also allow for regular movement and activity with a more reduced chance of becoming dislodged or damaged than they would have had a couple decades ago. But when I say regular activity, I mean going on a walk. Shopping for groceries. Doing basic house chores. Even light exercise and sexual activity can be managed with physician advisement and the appropriate precautions taken. Anytime a Spartan was fielded they'd have to be all the more overly-cautious about Movements Outside of Their Control during confrontations, maneuvers, ambush, environmental or vehicular incidents. Even when things go well there'd be too much risk involved. That said, traumatic decatheterizations happen more frequently than anyone would like, and I'm talking about regular old Joe Everybody. I respond to no less than a dozen of these incidents a year. Both types of catheter are held in place by a bulb balloon that's inflated from a port with around 10-30ccs of saline after the tube enters the bladder (30ccs would be more appropriate for better security of the line). Before removing a cath, the saline is removed to deflate the balloon and the tube is guided out - with a Foley cath, that means being guided out of the urethra. When a Foley cath is traumatically removed, the saline filled balloon - which is like five times wider in diameter than the average 6mm urethra - does a pretty devastating amount of damage on it's way out, penis or vagina; though a penile urethra has significantly more length to damage, and the penile meatus very typically is torn. These incidents run high risk of bladder hematoma as well, which requires urgent surgical intervention. The very worst traumatic decatheterizations I've responded to were all penile and had trauma to external tissue. Ever microwaved a hotdog a little too long?

Damage: How often are Spartans subjected to explosive and other concussive forces? Silly question - answer: a lot and often and unavoidable. And we know they still feel the powerful feedback. Despite shields and dampeners and a self-moderating gel layer, strong inertial forces are still felt through the suits. Across multiple novels we're given details about near misses and blasts, accelerated or uncontrolled falls, rattling their teeth, hampering their vision, hearing, or balance; they've been rendered unconscious and suffered internal injuries. The fact that most of these events don't flat out kill them is a credit to their armour and augmentations. For reference - when a person experiences explosive or concussive force from a distance enough to avoid separation of limbs, bisection, etc, the totality of their injuries can't and won't be seen externally. How they present on the outside is just the tippy tip of the iceburg - it's what's happened to them internally that you need to be concerned about. Cracked or fractured bones, torn musculature, arterial shearing, hollow organ rupture, cardiac and brain tissue bleed, to name some common ones, and this kind of trauma extends to all implanted devices as well. For example, rods and nails and other structural aids or replacements are much more resilient than your organic tissues, and can dislodge when tissues tear or rupture, damaging anything in their way like shrapnel. The fragile little balloon of a catheter will shatter when subjected to even relatively minor explosive force, so to even consider for a moment that this would be a viable piece of equipment for people intended to routinely be involved in explosive environments is beyond willful negligence. That there wouldn't be a better solution to the question of waste management - a necessity for literally all human people who make up the entirety of the Spartan branch, with the infinite funding of ONI R&D seems so stupid to me that I… well, that I wrote this. Because, friends - participating in active warfare is not cath-safe. The kinds of physical demands and forces on Spartan bodies are not cath-safe. The risks will never outweigh the benefits to this. Even while sealed in powered armour and a skinsuit tech layer, the very thought of Section Three engineers or Halsey or anyone involved in the development of MJOLNIR dismissing the glaring obvious failure of Spartans having any kind of externalized invasive devices is so unreasonably negligent that it could only be the brainchild of an author who's convinced that these characters are all actually just psuedo-intelligent government boogiemen who aren't as capable as they claim to be. But No. They are that capable, and they are that intelligent and the fact that they have a bottomless budget and deeply flexible ethics is literally what makes them so dangerous.

So if we have to address this, how do we do it? Apparently there was always an official answer for this. Former Franchise Development Director, creator of the Master Chief**, and extremely racist asshole Frank O'Connor weighed in on this in the same interview, where he almost immediate rejected and denied Traviss's catheterization claim and says that 'this sort of stuff' was the kind of thing he and the other creative heads at Bungie/343i talked and planned about all the time. So how does this work then, because we're invested now. According to 'ol Frankie's elegant input: they just pee freely into the suit. That's it. For clarity, he's talking about the skinsuit and not the MJOLNIR interior proper. He goes on to say that connectivity between body and MJOLNIR at all levels is fully noninvasive, but precise, and that it doesn't matter what kind of body output a Spartan introduces into the suit interior, because a hygienic valve system (??) will scrub it continually and collect all matter for recycling and reintroduction via capillary action powered by movement. It's not clear in what layers or intermediaries these mechanisms occupy, he doesn't break it down more than that. But that's the answer, and it did exist back when Traviss was penning Kilo-5.

Is this answer better than haphazardly plugging extension cords from actual organ systems into MJOLNIR interior? Yes. Like, leagues better by comparison, but also I still think it sucks. To me anyway. It's flat out gross as hell, which definitely fits the personal brand of a man who proudly overfed his cat and called himself "Stinkles", but also it just doesn't strike me as the kind of design strategy ONI would pursue for any of their assets. Beside it just being 100% torn from Dune's stillsuits, it's also missing that special brand of proprietary Section Three je ne sais quoi. There's layers upon layers of too-specialized equipment installed into these people for everything else, why skip this? A body function that should have been Point 3 on a 50 point list of 'stuff to manage'. Also though? It's a lot of freedom. This is just another easy opportunity to add yet another layer of dependence. Spartans are expensive equipment. It doesn't do to give them any fewer reasons to think they can ever walk away.

So anyway, I figured I'd take a crack at it. I came up with this while editing the last two paragraphs: [Waste management] - a fully internalized collection and processing device - lets say a cybernetic implantation - that entirely replaces the bladder. It has bio-organic lumens that interconnect it to the GI and Hepatic organs. The implant assists in accelerating the processing of gathering and refining waste materials with the help of nanobots that identify and redirect waste along the lumens of each system, plus they keep the implant clean and free of bad flora. All twice-processed waste gets refined a lot quicker and any water by-product of the process is refined and redistributed back to the organs along the lumens. None of the refined water is removed from the body for drinking, because that's an unnecessary step; it's already inside. (Drinking water would be the responsibility of a suit system more likely - like, sweat leeching in the skinsuit; refine, filtrate, purify, collect into a reservoir, and jettison the excess sodium. ) There is no 'extraction of other viable nutrient' from the remainder, it's been twice identified as waste. It gets catabolized and consumed by the nanobots as a fuel source, and no externalized waste is created at all while the Spartan is geared up. The implant doesn't always run like this - it only engages this way when the Spartan is wearing MJOLNIR, and when they're not, it just works like an out-of-the-box bladder. The intermittence of usage lets the organic organs truck along as usual, preventing risk of atrophy, and the Spartan can just use a bathroom like everyone else. I'm not a bioengineer, but I do like sci fi and I think all that sounds like something that'd be possible in this sandbox. And that's the real fun of it, isn't it? There's no way anyone today can anticipate what sort of gadgetry might be available 500+ years from now, especially in a fictional universe that includes military tech hybridized with reverse engineered alien tech.

I think it's fascinating when writers and artists shake loose and really grab the reins, and I love seeing the fruit of that labour in this particular tumblr community so often. We're not a huge Halo circle, but we're a passionate one, and if this essay leaves you with nothing else, I hope it will at least remind you to Go For It when you're writing your next fic or drawing your next piece, or composing, or sewing, or printing, or anything!

In Conclusion: Rest easy, friends.

Despite Traviss's word and even books that went to print, the official canon is that Spartans are not catheterized. If that's a bummer for anyone, canon can't stop you from writing whatever you want, but I do hope maybe you'll remember my reasoning for why it might not be the best idea? At least not for armoured Spartans. A Spartan, but they're laid up in hospital? Any non-Spartan personnel? Maybe you're writing in the public sector, a colony world or vessel? Sure - I'll bet caths are still plenty widely used. Why not? They're a blissfully simple and useful effective piece of equipment. It's just all about adjusting and adapting for practicality. Medical science, like any technology, adapts and evolves infinitely as we learn and discover new things. Treatments or drug algorithms I'd of used just last year have already undergone changes, and protocols are amended constantly. It's why a person 'practices' medicine; why a scientist is always a student. If questions like this or similar really need answering in your next work, remember: Give yourself the credit you deserve, and embrace the spirit of invention. Let my Cyber Bladder, by Sparklets be the candle in the window for you!

You may all retrieve your keys from the bowl and unsilence your phones. Stay safe and please text me when you get home. Thank you. ' u ' **Addendum: Former Bungie Creative Art Director Marcus Lehto is in fact the person who is most associated with the creation of the Master Chief.**

#halo #long form #my writing

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pyjamaart · 2 months

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Firewall!

(A warning before we start with this essay: This got really really long. So sorry about that. I also wrote this before watching a lot of the later episodes again, so if I get any facts wrong, assume I realize and correct my mistakes over the course of this monstrous dissertation on Mega Man Fully Charged. I also included some more pictures down there! Have fun reading! Also TW for implied self harm, but it's really mild this time.)

Hey everyone, welcome back to the next episode of "Mega Man essays with Jenny"! Oh hey, would you look at that, the essay even comes with a little picture attached to it. ;)

This time, the title of this piece was also inspired by a song. I recently discovered the band TWRP. Their newest album, "Digital Nightmare" is a must-listen for all robot enjoyers such as myself. It's really really good. "Firewall" is a song that immediately made me think of Fireman and Waveman. Fireman building up a wall and not letting anyone get close, only for Waveman to come by and break it apart with a wrecking ball of love? Truly beautiful.

With that out of the way... I'm glad I finally get to talk about these two, since I didn't get the opportunity to write something about them on my last few posts. I gotta say that some of my headcanons for them kinda build onto the stuff from my first few posts, so if you haven't read them yet... Now's your chance to do that.

Time to analyze some episodes!

Let's start at the very beginning with episode 1 and 2, most people's first exposure to the series and also Firemans debut:

Fireman used to work as a welder, but lost that job after he caused some property damage at the construction site. He also almost pushed his HR guy off the roof, but only after he insulted him, telling him he should be a fry cook if he can't do his job properly. So after facing workplace discrimination and getting fired (pun not intended) because he retaliated in a pretty bad way, Fireman joined Lord Obsidian, who for sure offered him some way to get revenge on all the ignorant humans who only see him and all the other robots as tools to use.

Headcanon time! I honestly don't think Fireman caused the damage on purpose, I actually imagine him to be quite diligent, hardworking and reliable. The perfect worker one could say, if it weren't for his terrible anger issues. He probably had a particularly bad day back then. The HR guy insulting the abilities he had honed over years of honest work was probably the last straw for him.

Another headcanon is that he's so massively pissed off every time we see him because Lord Obsidian just keeps stoking the flames, by which I mean, he's just continuously insulting him while keeping him in check with his giant mech suit. Fireman just can't catch a break. And because he's so stressed out and irritated all the time, he let's that anger out on innocent (puny) humans. But as you probably know, he gets better later on in the show.

After watching that first episode again, Fireman also seems to care a lot about his personal space, as he angrily yells at Aki to get off after he climbs on his back to get a hold of his schematics easier. While on top of his tank, he also tells Fireman that he's got a lot of issues and to see someone about that. I mean, we knew that already. He also tells him to take up yoga or something.

On to episode 2. And oh man, Sgt. Night really told Fireman to wreak havoc in the city so that he can spread his anti-robot propaganda among the panicking townsfolk, with a speech that sounds as if he practiced it in front of a mirror the night before. At that point in time, the viewer doesn't even know who Lord Obsidian is, neither do they know that he and Sgt. Night are the same person. Night is probably riling Fireman up on purpose, since he already knows about his fiery temper, hoping that one or two injured humans may be enough to throw the town into disharmony again, or even better, start another war between humans and robots.

After shenanigans ensue and Aki, his family and Sgt. Edgelord vanish down a manhole cover, Fireman visibly struggles to get it open with his torch arms. A problem he has in common with Drillman, who's also missing his hands. But I've already talked enough about Drillman and his personal problems on my other post. Maybe he and Fireman bonded a little over their shared plight, even though the red bot doesn't let it affect him as much as Drillman. For Waveman, my personal headcanon is that he actually has at least one retractable hand, as in, he can replace his blaster or his harpoon with a hand at any time, just like Mega Man can with his arm cannon. There is a reason for that, which I'll explain when we get to episode 12.

Skipping forward a bit, at the very end of the episode, when the Lights and all the school kids (human and robot alike) surround Sgt. Night to protect him from Firemans wrath and show him the power of love and friendship, we find out that Firemans main goal was to burn that big robot racist to a crisp. All the other humans would have just been collateral damage, lol.

Now here start the questions. It's been a while since I've watched these two episodes. So color me surprised when in the last few seconds, as Fireman is carefully tiptoeing into Lord Obsidians office, his personality completely flipped from when he was fighting Mega Man in the city, Sgt. Night just sits there in the chair with his whole human mug out. I thought the bots didn't know he was a human???? Wasn't that the whole point of the season finale??????? Well, he was sitting in complete darkness, so I don't know. I'll need to investigate this further...

Pausing that line of thought for a second, let's continue with episode 5, otherwise known as Wavemans debut episode.

Compared to Fireman, Waveman has his very own bundle of problems to deal with. As we come to know over the course of the episode, the guy has some extreme attachment issues. And also an extreme fixation on cleanliness. In a desperate search for his only friend, he's giving the city a nice makeover along the way. Even if that makeover includes flooding a dozen basements and costing the city millions in infrastructure damage. Compared to the other robot masters we've seen this far, Wavemans powers are by far the most powerful and destructive. If his powers weren't so dependent on his current emotional state, Lord Obsidian would have a terrifying bot on his side. (I'll come back to that thought later) Sadly for him, this is Waveman we're talking about. The same guy who got beaten up and thrown into jail by a literal dog.

Speaking of animals, Waveman seems to have a huge soft spot for them, immediately stopping his hostile behavior towards Mega Man when he spots Rush next to him. This is also the point where we get to know that "his only friend" that he's been trying to find for the entire episode is a literal alligator he found in the sewers.

At the very end of the episode, when Waveman is already behind bars in the police cruiser, he and the viewer actually catch one last glimpse at Alligator (that's the name he decided to give it.), who's randomly wearing a top hat, monocle and holding a walking cane. It shakes its head at Waveman disappointingly and then jumps back down into the sewers it came from. I'm gonna be ignoring its sudden fancy getup.

Knowing Waveman, the true story of his alligator friend was probably a little different from the one he told Aki. I firmly believe that he found the little guy injured and/or starving and nursed it back to health. So far, so good. Any normal person would have released an animal like this back into the wild, or at least given it into the care of a wildlife rescue organization. But not Waveman. He must have been really, and I mean REALLY lonely if he came to the conclusion that he should keep an alligator as a pet to combat that loneliness. The alligator probably "got lost" on purpose, as I can imagine that Waveman must have been pretty overbearing regarding his only friend. That poor little bot. If he just had someone to give all his affection to...

And with that we're back to Fireman, who graces us with his presence once again just one episode later, in the sixth one. In the first few seconds, he already drops a bombshell on Aki (and us), as he reveals that he's actually seeing a robot therapist to work on his anger problems. Good for him. He also really took Akis advice to heart and started doing yoga as well. Fireman might be the only robot in this series who's actively trying to work on his problems.

The things he says in this episode are a little worrying though: Opposite to Sgt. Nights anti robot propaganda, Fireman is constantly trash-talking humans in this episode, trying and failing to convince Aki to join the "right side". The phrases he uses sound to me as if they were made up by Lord Obsidian and Fireman is just repeating them mindlessly.

And with that, we've finally reached episode 12, the long awaited Fireman/Waveman special. As you may know, Waveman and Fireman are the only robot masters who had the privilege of sharing an episode (If we forget about the finale and the few one hit wonder scenes later on for a minute), which may be one of the reasons a lot of people ship them in the first place. I am one of them, lol. I mean, the episode is literally titled "Opposites Attract", like come on.

From the moment they first interact, it's not looking good for us Fire/Wave truthers, since they can't exchange a single word without insulting each other or shooting each other in the face with their blasters. I have a suspicion that their animosity is mostly fueled by their current terrible living and working conditions. They both know that in the case their assigned mission fails, their asses are toast. Episode 2 already established that Fireman is scared of Lord Obsidian. And if the biggest, baddest bot out of the bunch gets all skittish whenever he's in the presence of his employer/benefactor (Was it ever established if they get paid for this? Or if they get anything else in return except maybe a shitty warehouse to stay in?), it's not looking good for the rest of these robots. Most of all Waveman, who's already emotionally unstable to begin with.

This episode is set up in a way that Fireman and Waveman act as a sort of foil to Aki and Suna, who are also having a fight about their differing opinions at the same time. After the two siblings split up and try to deal with the problem at hand on their own, the scene shifts back to the two bots, with Waveman actually trying to bury the hatchet, calling Fireman "friend" and helping him calm down a little by getting him to do breathing exercises with him. Fireman appreciates this gesture, but immediately gets stressed again because Waveman isn't tuning his machine fast enough for his liking.

Speaking of this machine... It has a very similar color scheme and pattern to the water bot, so it's probably safe to assume that Waveman is the one responsible for building it. That's why I think he actually has retractable hands. How else could he have built this giant, highly complex machine? How does he even know how to construct things like this?? One more fact to add to the "Waveman is secretly really capable" list. Or he just stole the thing from his old job. I dunno.

One skipped Rush scene later, Suna is beginning to clog the pipe the two robots used to drain the lake with junk she found lying around, agitating Waveman, who then says (And I quote): "Hey! She's- she's touching my machine! Oh, I hate it when people touch my machine... E- except for you, new friend." He says that last part while looking back at Fireman with a goofy expression on his face. It's so damn cute. He's just so happy to finally have a friend that isn't a wild animal! (Well...) The feeling doesn't seem to be mutual quite yet, as Fireman is still sporting the same sour expression he had before.

Now this next thing was just thanks to my impeccable hearing. The first time I watched Fully Charged, I did so in my living room, lying around on the couch while my TV was on the other side of the room. The actual line Waveman says after they get interrupted by Mega Man is "We got this, Fireface!", which, yeah, makes a lot more sense than the thing I heard. I kid you not, I really thought I heard him say "We got this, Firebabe!". I was actually flabbergasted, scrambled for the remote and had to rewind the video. Kinda disappointed that he didn't really call Fireman his "babe", but whatever. Moving on.

Fireman isn't exactly happy about being called "Fireface", but Waveman just tells him that friends normally give nicknames to each other. He really could have picked a better one, though. Like... you know... Firebabe? No, I guess that would have just made him even angrier.

This scene also makes me think that Waveman is just a tiny bit overenthusiastic about making a new friend, trying to force Fireman out of his grumpy shell a little too fast for the red bots liking. (This will also come back later when I get into heavy headcanon territory.)

The next scene, where Waveman slides down the pump cable like freaking Shadow the Hedgehog and then flips around in the air like a star athlete, only to stick a perfect landing directly in front of the clogged pump is another piece of evidence to me that Waveman is just all in all a really badass, capable bot. If his emotions allow him to be, that is.

When he and Fireman reunite at the bottom of the drained lake, still trying to find Suna, Fireman returns the favor and also gives Waveman a nickname, though his one seems to be a little mean spirited, as he's slowly losing his patience with the water bot. Waveman is completely oblivious to Firemans cold attitude, calling him "chief" and complimenting his leadership skills. Even Suna is grossed out by Wavemans continuous (bad) attempts at flirting, which results in her saying the truly amazing line "Eugh, it's an evil robot love fest over there." Seeing Waveman try so hard to be Firemans friend is actually a little sad to watch, even more if you factor in the knowledge we uncovered in his debut episode. But lucky for him, Fireman is actually warming up to all the compliments, saying that he never imagined himself as a leader.

And now for the most homophobic moment in Mega Man history: As Suna and Aki finally make up, they hatch the ultimate plan to stop the two bots from completing their evil scheme: breaking up their newly blossomed friendship by riling them up against each other! Truly, truly evil of them. Tactically speaking it's a good plan, but ruining all that character growth that happened in the past two minutes just to stop this weeks evil scheme? Genuinely diabolical. As the two robots fight over who of them is in charge, Aki actually finds out for the first time that there is a "boss" controlling all these wayward robots.

Aaaaaalso huge lore drop: I didn't remember this fact from my first watch-through, but Fireman actually seems to be the guy who got Waveman on Lord Obsidians team of robot outcasts in the first place, i.e. breaking him out of prison for causing millions in property damages. He's reeeeaaaally holding that fact over Wavemans head in this scene. Their little fight gets broken up by Suna starting the pump once again, sucking both of them in and spitting them out over the skyscrapers and into the cloudy sky, where you can still hear Fireman cursing even after they've flown out of sight.

Post episode / headcanon time: While the two of them may spend most of the episode arguing due to their different personalities (and after the siblings tricked them into fighting again after they had actually began to tolerate each other), I firmly believe that since the episode ends on the note that people can still get along great even if they have very differing opinions and worldviews, they eventually get over their disagreement and make up. Maybe even start talking outside of their very important Obsidian-assigned missions. Maybe even become real, true friends.

But before we can even think of that happening, the two of them are still free falling over the city. Now the writers probably thought this Team-Rocket-esque takeoff was a fun little bit to end the episode on and most people wouldn't even think about what happens to them afterwards, since this is a god damn children's cartoon we're talking about and falls from great heights aren't taken very serious in this show in general, but I'm weird and I love overthinking stuff, so I thought of an aftermath to that scenario:

Metal is pretty heavy. So if a 1000 kilo robot like Fireman hits the concrete from 30 meters in the air, that's not gonna end well. He'd probably be reduced to a million tiny pieces. That's why I'm gonna throw them a bone and say that they crash-land in the forest, where their fall at least gets absorbed a little by the branches of the trees.

While they're getting launched through the air, Fireman is still cursing up a storm, thinking that this is gonna be the end of him. Waveman on the other hand spontaneously decides that he would rather die than let his new friend get hurt, so he grabs onto Fireman and just hopes for the best. They do thankfully land in a tree, so they at least don't get blasted to bits. Waveman breaks most of their fall, getting skewered by twigs on the way down and then crushed by the red bots bulky frame, but other than that, they're both okay.

As soon as he recovers from this near-death experience and once he realizes what just happened, the first thing Fireman does is angrily yell at the other robot next to him on the ground, but not out of anger, but out of genuine concern. What does he think he's doing? Why would he use his lanky little body to shield him from the fall? Is he insane???

Waveman meanwhile is just glad that they both got out of that situation kinda unharmed. He also immediately starts crying, but only because he's so touched at Firemans concern over him.

In the end, Fireman has to carry both himself and the other bot back to Lord Obsidian's shack for wayward robots, where they're probably gonna get an additional asskicking for failing their mission so spectacularly.

Headcanon scenario over. Let's carry on then...

Okay, now the next Waveman episode is number 21, but before that, we need to make a very important pit stop at episode 16, since it basically unravels half of my headcanons. So. It turns out the robot masters DO know that Lord Obsidian is a human. Then why are they following him??? Why are they surprised when it turns out that he wasn't just pretending to be a turbo robo-racist? They're all so freaking scared of him, Jesus Christ! In episode 19, Fireman is visibly shaking after Sgt. Night premieres his giant mech suit. Why are they following him? I know for a fact that Sgt. Night threatened Blastowoman into joining his side, but what about the others?

I mean, most of the robots Lord Obsidian recruited have no other place to go. Chemistryman lost his teaching job and was probably facing homelessness, same as Drillman, who was probably disowned by his father after trying to take revenge on Skyraisers Inc. Fireman was deemed unhirable after almost killing his HR guy, Waveman is literally a wanted criminal after flooding half the city and so on and so on. The only exception is probably Cutman, who just likes being evil for the lulz. (I'm joking)

So is this like one of these cults that you can't get out of once they have you in their hands? And even when you try to leave or show signs of disloyalty, you get endlessly harassed or even killed? (We'll come back to that last thought after we reach episode 43.) Okay, maybe I'm just interpreting way too much into this children's show once again. Now let's get into episode 21.

This is for the most part a Rush episode. The pooch gets some awesome new upgrades after almost getting turned into kibble by Lord Obsidian, so Aki and Suna spend the whole episode building a robot from scratch to help Rush overcome his fears. While they are hard at work, Waveman is just casually trying to flood the financial district. Kinda based of him. (His puns while he's being shown on TV are also fantastic. Aquaman could learn a thing or two from him.)

Aki and Suna ignore Rushs pleads for attention, so the brave little dog decides to go battle the aquatic robot master on his own.

While Rush is busy saving a kitty and some civilians falling off of roofs, Waveman is once again spinning and flipping around in the air and swinging around the houses with his harpoon like freaking Spiderman. God, he can be so awesome when he wants to be. After getting his ass bitten by Rush, he almost immediately gets distracted again because he just can't resist the doggo's adorableness, due to his already established weakness to cute animals. Or all animals, I guess. Alligators aren't exactly what I'd call cute...

He regains his senses and starts fighting back after Rush gets out his laser eyes, however. Unfortunately for Waveman, afterwards, he just gets thrown around like a rag doll for the rest of the episode. By a dog. And to add salt to the injury, after Rush flies him over into the waiting hands of the good guild, the police bots hang him upside down by the feet and pose with him like he's a particularly big fish they caught on a fishing trip. There's even a reporter taking pictures for the newspaper. Ouch.

This probably means Fireman had to break him out of prison again after this episode ends, but that shouldn't be a problem, since the good guild bots are hilariously bad at their jobs.

I imagine Lord Obsidian wasn't very pleased that one of his robots got himself beaten up so badly by Mega Mans pet dog on live television, so Fireman actually had to plead with his boss to keep his friend on the team at all. For all Sgt. Night cared, Waveman could have spent the rest of his life in prison. Thank god he's got Fireman on his side now. Anyway, carrying on...

In between this and the next Fireman episode (34), nothing really happens related to them, so I'm just gonna skip forward to one of my personal favorites of the show, "Fire Man in the Hole":

This episode takes place on and in a freaking active volcano, that's apparently right next to the city. Aki, Suna and Ashley are filming a documentary for a school project, but accidentally drop their camera down the title-giving hole. It lands right next to Fireman, who's powering up his fire powers with a machine created by Lord Obsidian, with the goal of heating up his flames to a high enough temperature to melt right through Dr. Lights doors. This is accomplished by somehow converting the lava into energy that turns Firemans flames blue and therefore much more dangerous.

The big bad boss warns Fireman not to go too far with the machine, as using it too much could cause the volcano to erupt. Somehow. You can tell he doesn't have any faith in Fireman, as he yells at him not to mess up again. You can visibly see the robots face dropping at the particularly emphasized "again".

After Aki jumps down into the volcano to search for their camera, Fireman can be seen using his newfound power completely recklessly, even disregarding his bosses orders. This is the first time in the series where he just openly disobeys Sgt. Night, possibly foreshadowing that he's had enough of being pushed around by the human. He repeats "And nobody can stop me!" three times in a row (the first two times Sgt. Night even hears him say it), before Mega Man comes around and does try to stop him. But not because he cares about his evil plan or anything like that, he simply wants the camera back to impress Ashley and Fireman happens to stand right next to it. The robot sees this as the perfect opportunity to try out his powered up blasters, so he gleefully moves the camera out of the way and tells Aki to fight him for it.

During their fight, you can clearly see that Fireman has gone mad with power, not even sparing one thought to the warning Sgt. Night gave him about the volcano erupting. He fires at Mega Man in reckless abandon, who desperately tries to plead with him and get him to calm down, but without avail. This destabilizes the walls around them even more, causing the lava to rise and stones to fall from the ceiling. A particularly big one eventually traps Aki, causing him to be unable to move, making Fireman celebrate his apparent victory.

He was completely on board with the idea of just leaving this poor robot child to boil alive in the erupting volcano, only stopping in his tracks after he realizes that there's no way for him to get out as well. After lamenting that no one told him this could happen (seriously?), Aki chimes in as well, saying that they were too busy fighting each other to notice the rising lava.

Fireman doesn't take this comment from Aki very well, yelling at him that he was doing totally fine until he showed up, basically blaming the kid for all the failures he suffered under Lord Obsidians command. The stress from the situation makes him break into an entire monologue, venting to Aki that all he wants is to make his boss proud for once in his life, yet all he does is fail him again and again. There's a scene at the end of his little montage of failures where he tries to cook something for Sgt. Night and all the robots on his team, but ends up burning the whole thing to a crisp right in front of their eyes. Thank god he didn't really end up becoming a fry cook. Because he would suck at that job too. (Too far, Jenny. Too far.)

The voice acting during this moment is impeccable, by the way. You can just hear Firemans frustration and anger at his own continuous failures come to a (literal) boiling point in this scene. After he finishes his tirade, he just let's himself down on the ground next to Aki, seemingly left with no hope and willing to spend his last moments with his greatest adversary, getting swallowed by the rising lava.

Our protagonist hasn't given up however. He tries to appeal to Fireman one last time, telling him that if they work together, they could still try to stop the volcano from erupting and save the city. After some convincing, the red bot eventually agrees to this, blasting away the rocks that were pinning Aki to the ground and helping him up.

As they're blasting the cave wall in a desperate attempt to redirect the flow of the lava, Fireman starts doubting himself again, saying that they're never gonna be able to do this before they get their feet melted off. The little blue bot is determined, though. He encourages Fireman and tells him to believe in himself, which eventually leads to them successfully breaking through the wall, saving not only themselves, but also the whole city.

Fireman visibly relaxes after this, even laughing and giving Aki a fist (blaster?) bump, glad that he finally did something right. Mega Man even praises him, saying that his boss might not be proud of him, but he sure is. You can tell that Fireman is completely taken aback by this, clearly not used to being complimented (Let's just disregard Waveman for a minute, who absolutely showers him with compliments every opportunity he gets), but he greatly appreciates this regardless, even if he doesn't show it. He kicks the camera they've been fighting over back to Aki and then leaves as quickly as he can, before any of them have to acknowledge what just happened between them.

This encounter probably planted a seed inside of Firemans processor. Why should he settle for someone like Obsidian, who doesn't appreciate a single thing he does? Who terrorizes him every single day of his life? Maybe, just maybe... The good side isn't so bad after all?

And with that lovely thought in our heads we finally get to Fireman's last canonical appearance, episode 43.

We start out in Dr. Lights lab, where he and Mega Man discuss the identity of the mysterious bot who's been bothering them for basically the entire season. Dr. Light brings up second chances and asks Mega Man to consider giving the little edgy guy another try to become a good bot. Even though he has only ever shown hostility to everyone he's ever interacted with. Oh well. But as Dr. Light goes on about second chances, the scene switches to the dark warehouse Sgt. Night and his bots call their home and Fireman storms inside the command center angrily.

If we compare this scene to some others from the first few episodes, you can immediately tell that Firemans entire attitude towards his boss has shifted completely. Instead of cowering away and keeping his voice low, in this scene he's just openly berating him, complaining that he and the other bots still don't know what his plan entails and that they're still just standing around talking to each other instead of actually doing something to take over the city.

Sgt. Night doesn't let these harsh words phase him, instead linking their stagnant efforts to Firemans incompetence. To say he doesn't take that well would be an understatement. But now, instead of just accepting this mistreatment and swallowing his pride, Fireman actually gets so mad that he charges at Sgt. Night, intending to attack him. He only gets stopped by his bosses (child) body guard, who loudly proclaims that Fireman will have to go through him first.

The fiery bot takes that as a challenge and announces his willingness to duel the other robot. Sgt. Night suddenly turns around, having just thought that a battle right in the middle of his office would make for good entertainment. And since he's grown tired of Firemans disobedience anyway, he probably thinks this is a good way to test out his child's fighting capabilities on someone other than Mega Man.

Before Namagem can even begin to shit-talk him, Fireman already hits him over the head with one of his blasters, officially starting their fight. The animation during this fight and in this episode in general are really freaking good. Man of Action living up to their name, finally.

After Sgt. Night lets out a cartoonishly evil laugh, Fireman and Namagem continue exchanging blows and insults, until one particularly heavy punch by the smaller bot sends Fireman flying up into the busy streets of the city, seemingly coming out of a manhole? This implies that Sgt. Night and his bots just live down in the sewers?? This is even worse than a shitty warehouse!

This also puts the conversation between Fireman and Waveman at the end of episode 12 into a completely different light: Fireman was mocking him for the fact that he used to clean sewers before they recruited him... While currently living in the sewers himself? Not that much of a moral high ground, my man...

Anyway, now that their little kerfuffle has reached the city and the townspeople are panicking, Mega Man decides to investigate. Unsurprisingly, the fighting bots don't want to be interrupted and shoot at him, even momentarily pausing their fight for this. The shot where they both fire their blasters at Mega Man also made me realize something: I called Namagem the "smaller bot" before, since I assumed he was just as tall as Aki (Y'know, cause they're twins and all that. Oops, Spoiler.), but it turns out he's actually the same size as Fireman, if not half a foot taller! (I have no idea how much that is in centimeters. Okay I looked it up and it's like 15. That's a pretty big difference.) But since he's cheating with his "battle armor" I'm still gonna call him the smaller bot.

After continuing their battle through various parts of the city, including an art museum and Dr. Lights garden, where yet another gardener gets traumatized by the destruction of a prized bonsai tree, they eventually end up in the forest, where their fight finally reaches its climax.

Aki and Mini discuss the possibility of winning Fireman over for the good guys, since he helped them back in the volcano, but are interrupted in their planning by Namagem just absolutely wiping the floor with the fire bot, causing Aki to jump to his rescue and punch his dark counterpart in the chest.

Apparently, Namagem inherited some of his "fathers" more cruel traits, like standing above Fireman and holding his blaster straight to his face, very slowly powering it up, watching with delight as his victim awaits his final moments. Well, until Aki comes in.

The blue bomber quickly explains that he's only helping Fireman to save the city. After the other bot takes a second to recover from yet another near-death experience, he also tells Aki that he's only "letting him" save him because he hates the other guy more than him. These are good enough reasons for them to work together for a while.

And wouldn't you know, it's like they're naturals working with each other, because only a few moments later, they're absolutely tag-teaming Namagem, hitting him with fire blasts from every possible angle. Sadly, this strategy only works for a short while before Namagem brings out his own fire powers, throwing them into the air in the process. After they land back on the ground, there's even more shots coming straight for Mega Man, but Fireman actually gets in front of him to shield him from the attack, completely unprompted.

After that adorable display of camaraderie, they get right back to the battle and actually manage to overheat Namagems blaster, which gives them the opportunity to trap their enemy in a fiery vortex. A little goofy and over the top, but who cares. I'm not gonna spend any time talking about this episodes reveal related to Akis brother, since this is an essay about Fireman and Waveman and not him. And these episode summaries already take up a lot of time and space. Man. I really hope there isn't a word limit for tumblr posts.

Before Fireman can return the earlier favor and blast a hole into the defeated bots head, Mega Man obviously stops him, saying something along the lines of "Don't let anger make you a monster like him! Give him the second chance you want yourself to have!" This combined with the downed robots gasping breaths, suddenly sounding much more like a young boy than the scary guard dog of his boss, makes Fireman slowly lowers his blaster, eventually powering it off completely.

Mega Man is visibly relieved, flashing Fireman a genuine smile. But then... Before the episode can end on this happy note and officially kick-start the fire bots redemption, Namagem musters the last bit of his strength, shooting Fireman straight into his exposed back, instantly punishing his decision to show a little bit of vulnerability. He collapses into Akis arms, who can't help but scream in terror. After laying him on the ground and realizing that Namagem escaped while he wasn't paying attention, he softly reassures Fireman, telling him that Dr. Light will fix him up "in no time". Mega Man also tells him that he's finally free of his "master". All the red bot has left in him before he passes out is to groan in pain and mutter a defeated sounding "Uh huh."

Standing over his companions still body, Mega Man suddenly develops a taste for revenge, saying that he'll take Namagem down by any means necessary.

And this, ladies and gentleman, is the last thing we ever see of Fireman. For all the rest of the season cares, he might as well be dead. If you were one of the people who thought that he would heroically save the Light family out of a tough situation in the finale (like me), you might have been a little disappointed. "He'll fix you up in no time" my ass. But the one good thing about this is that it leaves me with much more room for headcanons.

So what happens after this episode? Fireman gets taken in by Dr. Light for repairs and Namagem returns to Sgt. Night with the news that the traitorous bot has been taken care of. (He leaves out the part where he got his ass kicked.) There's just one little problem with this: What do they tell the other robots? If they tell them that they had to get rid of Fireman for becoming a little too disobedient, I don't think that'll go over well. Especially when it comes to one bot in particular...

So to avoid Waveman going absolute sicko mode on them, they come up with a different story. They call the robot masters together for a meeting, where they tell them with a (not so) heavy heart that Fireman sadly perished in a fight against Mega Man, who showed no mercy in executing him.

Waveman is utterly devastated. Just as he finally found a true friend in this world, he gets taken away again. Why does the universe want him to be alone so bad?

The other bots take the news equally as bad. Fireman may have been a short-fused, grumpy hothead, but he was the robot that's been at Sgt. Nights side the longest of them all, someone dependable they could ask for advice when they needed it. And that Mega Man supposedly offlined him? Was his usual friendliness all just an act to hide his true nature as Dr. Lights killing machine?

But before Sgt. Night can actually celebrate the fact that the robots really believe his made up story, he has to ban Waveman from the base, as he slowly begins to flood everything with his tears.

As Sgt. Night has come to realize over the short time of working with Waveman, his emotions are usually very fickle, so he hopes that he'll come back to his senses in the next few hours. But the hours eventually turn into days. He's not gonna stop crying, isn't he?

Waveman gets so comically depressed after Firemans apparent "death" that he floods entire stretches of land with his tears, with no signs of stopping. It's only after Sgt. Night has to get out his row boat that he sends the other bots to try and cheer him up. Pictured here: The grouchy evil mastermind a second before kicking Drillman into the water.

Please disregard the random gray warehouse to the side, as I drew this exactly one day before finding out Sgt. Night and his gang live in the sewers. (It also felt so freaking wrong drawing Elecman without his ever-present shit eating grin. Feels kinda out of character.)

Anyway, in between episode 43 and the finale there are just a few more episodes, but we can basically skip them all because Fireman bit the dust and Waveman is too busy being taken over by an all-consuming sadness over losing his only friend yet again. He does appear shortly for one episode, but he doesn't say a single word and just gets absolutely blasted by Mega Man. Sgt. Night was probably hoping for him and the other robots to try and take revenge on his blue adversary, but since Fireman isn't there to shield them from all of his abuse anymore, maybe they're starting to doubt his plans and the story he told them about the fire bots passing?

(Side note before we talk about the finale: I know I said this was an essay about Fireman and Waveman, but I just rewatched "This Is Not A Drill", which comes two episodes after Firemans demise and it's sooo much worse than I remembered. At the end, Drillman Senior literally says "I never should have had kids!", which is just. Yeah. A great thing to say to your depressed child, who's probably at the lowest point in his life and stuck in a criminal organization whose boss is taking advantage of him and his insecurities. The "moral" this episode ends on just makes me so unreasonably angry. But you already knew that. Anyway, tangent over.)

I'm not gonna talk about the finale that thoroughly because this essay is already way longer than I ever imagined it would be. Sorry, this got really out of hand for some reason.

So Lord Obsidian brought the entire gang to Dr. Lights doorstep, where they do everything in their power to blast down his doors to get to the Mega key. But before they can even make it past the first glass door, they get a taste of the Light families awesome teamwork. I can't imagine Lord Obsidian wasted much time on maintenance for his robot army, so at this point, half of them are already battered and falling apart thanks to their repeated defeats at the hands of Mega Man. This would also explain how three people and their dog can successfully fend off an entire brigade of armed battle robots.

Waveman barely gets any moment to show off his hidden battle prowess, instead getting used more as the comic relief in this tense battle sequence. The one time he aims his hook straight for Akis head, it gets snatched away by Rush and he's thrown around in the air yet again.

As the battle continues and Aki ends up facing off against Lord Obsidian and Namagem alone, the remaining Lights wipe the floor with the robot masters in the meantime, tying them all up into a nice package for the good guild. After that comes the massive lore dump at the end:

One very important fact that gets revealed here (except for the brother thing) is that Daini was stolen away "shortly before the hard age ended". So that means, I was completely off with my 30 years. I know that they were originally built to be used as weapons in the war, but were given a second chance by Dr. Light wiping their minds clean. Which is.... uh... kinda fucked. Dr. Light out here just casually building child soldiers. But nevermind that, I guess the hard age wasn't that long ago after all. So instead of 30 years, it was more like 15 years? That's my new estimate, at least. I'm going off the fact that Aki and Suna are still in middle school.

This doesn't affect my existing headcanons as badly as I thought at first. One final side note before I get back to Fireman and Waveman: As I headcanonend on one of my last posts, Woodman and Drillman Senior actually used to be friends before the wooden bot went MIA. This 15 year shift means that Woodman actually got the chance to meet Drillman Junior as a child. That's actually kinda sweet. (Which reminds me of something, do all the robot masters have actual names like Cutman and Chemistryman? If Drillman were to have one, his parents probably called him something stupid like Drilliam. Lol.)

Anyway, now back to the post finale headcanons: After spending a moment to cope with all the stuff that happened with Sgt. Night and Daini, the Lights make their way to the good guild to tell the robot masters the truth about their boss and set them on the path to rehabilitation.

Surprising them, Waveman just straight up refuses to listen, still thinking that Aki killed his beloved Fireman. The two kids are kinda shocked at this revelation, since they thought the two robots despised each other after the stunt they pulled at the lake. Clearly not. Aki also finally makes sense of the fact that Waveman definitely tried to kill him with his harpoon in that last battle on purpose. A little concerning.

But the misunderstanding soon gets resolved, as Dr. Light had the foresight to bring Fireman along with them, who was understandably pissed off that they didn't get him out of stasis before the showdown with Sgt. Night occurred. But it all happened so fast, what can you do?

The second Waveman catches sight of the fire bot, he immediately breaks down the force field of the cell that's holding him, shocking not only the Lights, but also the good guild bots who were standing close by. (Seems like it's not the first time he's broken himself out of jail...) Before the police bots can do anything to stop him, Waveman is already jumping into Firemans arms, who barely has any time to react, but catches him regardless. It doesn't take two seconds before Waveman is already bawling his eyes out yet again, though this time out of relief that his friend is okay.

Fireman is a little bit overwhelmed with the situation, feeling guilty that his reckless battle against Daini and his subsequent disappearance apparently left his friend so horribly depressed.

Speaking of horribly depressed: Aki and his family finally get to tell the other robots the truth about Lord Obsidians plans while Fireman and Waveman are busy with their reunion. The robots are clearly disgusted with the things Sgt. Night had planned for them once he got his hands on the Mega key, questioning why they were even helping such a monster in the first place. To help speed their rehabilitation along, Dr. Light puts in a few good words for them, since he and the good guild work together quite closely. While he, Aki and Suna are busy getting the rest of the robot masters out of their cells (and patching up Drillmans arms...), Waveman has finally shed enough tears and calms down again. Kinda. He's so glad to finally have Fireman back that he accidentally blurts out a love confession.

Huh.

Fireman is at a loss for words. Needless to say, he's also glad to finally be reunited with his friend again, but isn't he moving a little too fast? Before he can think about it too long, he tells Waveman that he feels the same way.

I imagine this is going to become a common theme over the course of their newfound relationship. Waveman being way too overenthusiastic about the stuff they do, taking everything way too fast for Fireman to comfortably keep up with. If they don't talk about this, this could potentially lead to problems.

But they will make this work. I believe in them.

And that's where I'm gonna stop with the headcanons. I have plenty more, possibly enough to fill another one of these essays, but man, I have a full time job. I really wish I could just write about funny robots all day... But alas, the students want their books.

Before I sign off, I wanted to share this sketch from 2 years ago with you:

Please don't think about the horrible alligator-eel monstrosity that's gorging itself on Firemans arm. Drawing animals is hard, okay? This stupid little sketch was long abandoned, but the idea served as a sort of inspiration for the final image.

And that is all I wanted to say. Man, discovering layer modes in Gimp has really upped my art game. See you on the next one when we continue our quest to draw every single robot master in the classic series. (Next up are Tornadoman and Windman!) And maybe at a later point, when I draw the last of my favorite robot masters from Fully Charged that I haven't talked about yet: Airman. I have a fun idea for an image involving him and Blastowoman.

Jenny out.

#i have a lot of feelings and opinions on this show okay #and i may have gone a little overboard with the essay this time #but this was still a lot of fun <3 #mega man #megaman #mega man fully charged #mmfc #mmfc fireman #mmfc waveman #fireman #waveman #i love mmfc so so much there will be more i promise #is there a ship name for waveman and fireman?#firewave?#wavefire?#i think the the first one sounds better #firewave #im not tagging the other guys but theyre also here

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deaneverafter · 6 days

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Nope, this false image that's gaining traction due to people's "joking" insults, the idea that Jensen is incompetent and nothing more than a pretty face, that he's not responsible for his own career and that Danneel is the mastermind behind his success... it's getting out of hand.

I expect this from the loser extras, including but not limited to, Misha, Briana, Kim, Rich, Rob. They're desperate for fandom (heller) approval & they resent Jensen (& Jared), hate that J2 were integral to the show, unlike them. So the s*x*al harassment and digs are a two in one, get clout AND revenge. I didn't expect such behaviour from TW cast (if someone gives you your big break/starts your whole career, the least they should be able to expect is basic decency), mocking, belittling Jensen, so I was disappointed. But all things considered, seeing the behaviour that was someone was modeling for them, encouraging them into, I guess it shouldn't be surprising. I've even come to expect it from fandom people, heller and non heller alike, who are highly involved in the con circuit, since the resentment many people in this fandom have against Jensen for being everything they can't be, everything they can't have, is so blatant. Their snide "jokes" about "you're not my fave, your brother-in-law/Misha/JoJo are", "you're nothing to me, I love your wife [but I did spend thousands of dollars to be in *your* presence to tell you that]" are their bitterness manifesting, plus, the con handlers encourage it too.

But now, to see crew members from Supernatural, people who worked w/ Jensen for a decade & a half, people who had a job for 15 years because Jensen (and Jared) stayed, people who've seen his work ethic, his talent... for them to turn around and make fun of him, it's too much. And for what? To get clout by spreading this weird "joke" (frigging insult) that Danneel is the successful producer who is sustaining his career, and Jensen is just her loser husband, her puppet? Like, I'm sorry, but I'm failing to see the "humour" in such digs. I don't get it.

And what's perhaps worst of all, is that these people only get away with it because so called fans don't call it out, even defend & make such claims themselves. I get why hellers love it, no one hates Jensen more than the Misha / destiel cult. But what's everyone else's reason? You guys cry about the big, bad coven day in, day out, when such toxic environment towards Jensen, surely started by hellers, but sustained by the rest of the fandom, could do much more damage than the haters could ever even dream of doing. What happens when people outside the fandom start hearing and believing such things? Casual fans don't do a deep dig. They hear something, and they think, ah, must be true (and I don't blame them. You can't conduct a dissertation on every artist you like).

How can you call yourself a Jensen fan and then hear such pathetic insults, disguised as funny jokes, and laugh? How can you sit back and watch this disease spread like wildfire, this image of him that he's not responsible for his own career? That he's just a pretty face, a puppet Danneel is pulling by the strings, who only has a career because Danneel has her hand on the wheel? I'm not sure what people feel Jensen has done to deserve this, to have all his hard work, commitment, effort, be dismissed this way, smh, and by people who claim to be his fans, at that. Snakes in the grass, more like.

What's also interesting is that Danneel's fans never put her down to hype Jensen up. Her friends take it one step further than jokes. They seriously claim that she's the one behind Jensen's career & success, that she's the one making things happen behind the scenes. Danneel herself literally pushes this agenda that Jensen "only moves left and right, and does what it does, because I have my hands on it", because I guess it gives her an ego trip and makes her feel relevant, assuages her insecurities a bit, while all Jensen does is support her and her whims and hypes her up.

And I just-? This makes it even crazier to me that some "Jensen Ackles fans" are not only condoning these false claims being made, they're actually the ones hammering them in, trying to brainwash the rest of the fandom, bullying people into going with these stories? Let's get this clear. Jensen has a successful career, including a steady stream of excellent jobs since he was 18, coworkers (the genuine ones anyway) who only praise him, directors/writers who want to work with him again, because of HIS hard work, HIS talent, HIS work ethic. He also has Chaos Machine because he worked hard enough, gained enough trust, that higher ups were ready to take a chance on Jensen and his projects. Danneel has Chaos Machine, the Supernatural role and any other roles she might get through CM (so essentially the entirety of her career in recent history) because she's married to Jensen. Her own career independent of Jensen peaked at a recurring role as a high school mean girl, trampling on others to make herself feel special. Since then, all her relevance or "career" has been because of Jensen and Jensen's name. That's literally it. I know this is a touchy topic for some people, but if someone's responsible for the other's career and relevance, it sure as hell is not Danneel ☕ And stealing credit from Jensen and his work and slapping it next to her name isn't going to change that. If the goal is truly to hype her up, and not go put Jensen down, and one wants to prove she's a girlboss, surely she has her own accomplishments one can brag about? Credit stolen from his work shouldn't be required.

If you call yourself a Jensen fan, act like it. Protect him, instead of cackling with a-holes mocking and degrading him. Stop dismissing his work and success to prop others up. And if you can't, then drop the "Ackles fan" in your bio and start calling yourself a hater 🤷🏻‍♀️

#Jensen Ackles #Danneel Ackles #Supernatural #Supernatural fandom forever on their BS

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theoldoor · 2 months

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I sometimes ask myself (WIP FOR THE REF SHEET BELOW)

“Khang!! Why don’t you ship Aventio/Raturine/Golden Ratio??? Theyre literally YOUR kinda trope! You’d die for the same troupe and you cried over multiple other ships that has the same dynamic!!”

And i do ask myself what is it about aventurine and dr ratio that separates them from the other ships of the same trope that i would defend with my life, but after months and months of wondering “why do i feel like theyre awfully platonic” “why cant i see them romantically like the other ships of the same trope” i have come to an conclusion that dr ratio and aventurine hits too close to home w me and that one bro that i love with my life platonically and i am projecting onto the two of them

And also Dr Ratio is ugly

But anyways back to oc x canon shit ft. My genshin oc from 2020 - prof. Solias lehto of engineering. He was made for sumeru before the region was released…. …

Sol is basically borderline ruan mei, he dgaf, he is putting himself in 20 pounds of radiation if it means he makes a new weapon for fun. He wanted to ascend to an archon-hood through mechanical works or some shit, fucked up humanity and is working for the fatui, making them weapons yadayada for the fun of it and they allow him to.

He occasionally visits the quarters to distribute his silly little gadgets for testing (he made sure it was safe before putting to test) and thats when he met childe and they became best buddies because makes weapons x uses and breaks them and theyre both insane so it works i guess. And he learn first aid + pursuing medicine in Sumeru just so that he can tend to childe’s wounds because test subject + he cares for him.

Despite this, he doesnt agree with Dottore work ethics as he has a personal moral code for humans. He would never test dangerous things on others, he would do it on himself. (Learnt it the hard way after he accidentally lobotomized his twin brother)

Same pose… same almost dynamic… two different games… im cooked….

.l…..

Ok back on rambling, here’s some post-talia fenrir.

He was Dr Ratio’s student to gain the elementary foundation before heading off to pursue linguistic and literature. He would earn a doctorate pretty soon after cuz he lowk a freak with languages and now he’s teaching alongside Dr Ratio too. They are not in the IPC together, but the organization that Fenrir is in often collab with the Intelligentsia Guild so basically, he’s the honorary IPC member.

Fenrir sometimes nag the doctor to let him join the Guild, even threatening with the invitation from The Riddlers (he did join them but Dr Ratio doesnt know yet)

The students under Fenrir does noticed a competitive undertone/tension between the two doctors, but not many knew about their past together. Its a funny thing. They would often compare their students achievements for fun too.

the strict teacher x the teacher people thought were a student

God i want them dead too theyre like evil eifenturine

As a token of thanks, Fenrir dedicated almost 89% of his research to the Avgin-Sigonian dialect for Aventurine and chose to study the language as his dissertation. It was a little funny thing as people keep seeing ihm around the strategic investment department trying to butter up aventurine and was like “what the fuck is this guy doing here bro” and bawm in like 4 months or smth a piece of linguistic and archeology research was birthed

I dont know if i want it angsty or not, but for this i’d want aventurine to be happy that his heritage is finally being recognized and. He’d often tease Fenrir by repeating some of the rambling that fenrir always repeats when talking to Aventurine in Avgin-Sigonian, like little mumble

“okay so avgin sigonian has two diphthongs… from the way he’s speaking they’re normally in stressed syllables… hmm…. And they make morphological alternations with the mid vowels /e/ and /o/….”

This is a joke doodle, THIS IS A JOKEEEE

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killergirlfuria · 11 months

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So I may or may not be working on a tiny little very self-indulgent crossover thingy. Will this go anywhere past this pic? We'll see.

The gist of this AU; year is 2029. Prototype and AC1-3 took place in 2012, Resident Evil Village in 2015. Alex and Desmond have been together for 17 years. Through legally sound and morally questionable means, Alex and Desmond ended up as legal caregivers of Elijah, Pariah/Michael, and Rosemary Winters.

From left to right; Desmond, Alex, Elijah, Pariah/Michael, Rosemary, Dana.

Stuff about it under the cut.

While they are messing with Abstergo and Brotherhood in Europe, they befriend one Ethan Winters and, after his death, Mia entrusts them with Rose as she can't take care of her in her deteriorating mental state. And, realistically, they're probably best equipped to giving Rose as normal life as someone as her could get. She grows up happy, aware and accepting of her powers. Hard not to, when out of her two dads one is effectively a demigod and the other is eldritch sentient plague. Being a sentient mold isn't so weird in this setting.

Later when raiding Abstergo bases they find Elijah held there. Desmond, now aware that he has a kid obviously refuses to leave him. They kill Juno as a father-son bonding activity, visit Elijah's mother grave. Cry a bit, argue a bit (he is a traumatized tween) but figure it out. It forces Alex and Desmond to slow down a bit; they do want to give their kids a stable childhood, after all. They thought they had more time, since Rose was barely a toddler, but with Elijah on board they reevaluate. Somehow, Alex ends up being his favorite dad. Desmond is only a little jealous, but he gets it. He likes Alex a whole lot, too.

They have a little break, a little wedding, they wrap up the Templar mess as well as they can for the time being. Desmond takes the Mercer surname and so does Elijah, because Bill does not deserve his name to be carried on.

Desmond becomes a Mentor somewhere in the middle. He's determined to drag the Brotherhood back into functionality whether it likes that or not; no more Bill sending people to die for nothing but his ego. Bill doesn't take it well, of course, but who'd care about him at this point? Desmond has three lifetimes worth of Mentor memories and the scariest dog on the block for a husband.

Alex does science, because he likes it. He's the kind of person to find writing dissertations fun. He may become an university professor; college students tend to be the most agreeable and most entertaining breed of a student. He does photography too. It's a memory-making thing.

They tackle Blacklight properly; find Pariah. Pariah, as it turns out, is actually somewhat unstable, hibernating most of the time, and stuck physically and mentally at 8 years old. Alex offers Blacklight to stabilize him; Pariah accepts. Purges his DNA of irregularities, replaces what's missing with Alex' DNA and the Blacklight. It's a little weird, to retroactively make him Alex' child when he was born before Alex, but that's what they're dealing with now. Pariah is still 8 in every way that matters. Greene named him Michael, which he gladly accepts (he never had a name before), and then he's a Mercer too.

It's 2020 by then, so plague jokes abound.

Dana in the meantime does what any girlboss does, gets her journalist career going, writes a book or two. Is instrumental in orchestrating the public downfall of Abstergo and Blackwatch. Adopts two cats. Struggles to find a girlfriend because things are never boring with the Mercers, but their kind of excitement oft comes with threat of bodily harm, cults, and shady corporations being hunted for sport. She's also kinda sorta infected with a dormant strain of Blacklight because it was either that or dying to whatever Greene infected her with.

In 2029 Desmond is 42 years old, Alex is 46, Elijah is 24, Michael/Pariah is 17 (chronologically 60), Rosemary is 15, and Dana is 38.

#prototype 2009 #assassin's creed #protocreed #re village #re8 #alex mercer #alex mercer prototype #desmond miles #elijah miles #pariah prototype #rosemary winters #dana mercer

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chaosology · 1 year

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somebody else

— spencer reid x reader

pairing: spencer reid (criminal minds) /fem!reader

genre: angst part ii here | masterlist

content warnings: none? just bad writing, this is my first post :)

summary: heartbroken over maeve’s death, spencer snaps at the reader who happens to be in love with him, causing her to rethink her relationship with the resident genius

At only 24, Y/N had managed to become the youngest surgical intern at her hospital. She skipped grades and spent years of intense study in university completing her degree, all while juggling a psych class on the side. She had only taken it for fun of course, it was an interesting subject but it wasn't as hands on as the the thrills of surgery. Naturally, she had graduated top of her class with "record breaking" high marks, setting a scary new standard for the generations to come.

Half way through her intern year she was approached by FBI representatives, who were combing through the top 1% of potential candites. They assured her that the unit's headquarters were local and that she could come to the hospital three to four days a week, but would assist a team in tracking down and analysing potential criminals (or 'UnSubs" as the man so vehemently stressed). She was cautious at first, but they promised that it would look great on resumes and she could back out at any time. Eventually, she caved and agreed. Her friends and collegues at the hospital all supported her - after all, this was a once in a lifetime oppurtunity.

Before she was introduced to her new team, she was sent letters instructing her of what was expected. She was to complete a certain amount of hours at the gym, complete a fire arms assessment, a physical and a mental competency test. Probably to make sure I'm not a serial killer, she thought, but wouldn't that be ironic? She passed them all with flying colours (as to be expected) and was sent an email inviting her to an introductory dinner with the group. Whether they did this for everyone she didn't know, but she hoped they would welcome her with open arms and notthink less of her because of her age.

Immediatly when she met them she knew they were good people. They were walm and close and all around comforting . The biggest shock of all, however, was the young doctor Spencer Reid. She had never expected someone so close to her age to be working alongside her. She had heard about him from one of her professors in med school, who raved about one of his dissertations from Caltech. She never bothered to read it of course (who really cares about engineering, anyway?) but had always thought about the boy who had managed to capture the attention of her famously cold hearted teacher. She had assumed he would be cold, arrogent and stuck up, but instead her was awkward and clumsy. He told nerdy jokes that made only him laugh and treated her as an equal from the moment they met. From then on, she was consumed.

She eventually fell into a groove while working two jobs, balancing both her lives while simultaneously falling harder and harder for the boy who worked across from her. At first she thought it wasn't mutual, but as time passed she picked up on how he would often stay late to escort her to the bus stop and make sure to text to see if she was home safe. Or when he bought Doctor Who movies and sugary foods when she lost a beloved patient at the hospital. Or when he let her cry in his arms on the jet after a particurly tough case. She had overheard from Penelope that this was particurly unusual for the boy genius, who tended to avoid contact when possible (and if he did hug, there had to be a lot of years of trust and friendship built up mutually). When she pieced it all together, a thrill was sent through her body. Did he really like her back?

She never really had much luck with love. In eighth grade she recieved a rose on valentine's day in her locker from the boy she liked. As it turns out, he got the locker number wrong and intended it for her best friend. There was also her first year of college, where the boy she met on the orientation day insisted on walking her to and from all her classes. She brought him back for family Christmas and then noticed how he gravitated towards her older sister, wanting to hear all about her, leaving Y/N to sit at the table next to cousins she hadn't spoken to in months. It was always like this. A few months ago she thought she could pursue something with an attending at her hospital. He was a neurosurgeon that she clicked instantly with, but then she walked past the on-call room and heard him in an arguement with his girlfriend. Of course he was in a relationship, she had thought. Just her luck.

But of course, they didn't matter now. Spencer could be her everything. She knew it was important for the significant others of agents to understand the demand of their job, whic she did! They understood each other and would look at each other when they though the other wasn't watching. She didn't want to get ahead of herself, but the more time they spent together the more she thought about their future. Maybe he would shyly ask her on a date while they sat through a movie marathon. Myabe he would pick her up from the hospital at the end of her shift and tell her all about his day, his hand resting on her thigh while they sat at the traffic lights. Maybe he would grab her hand while they sat at the table where they first met and get down on one knee, asking her that one important question. Maybe he would tell her about the toxic properties in the paint she flicked it at him as they painted the bedroom the same light purple as his favourite shirt. Maybe, she thought. It had to be coming soon, his not-so-subtle glances were becoming even more obvious.

But then it slipped. It always slipped.

She first noticed his distraction while she told him all about the surgery she performed that day. Usually he would nod animatedly and interrupt to tell her a fact that even she didn't know. But as they stood outside the hospital entry (he offered to carpool every thursday), she couldn't help but wonder why he kept looking over at the payphone across the road. Maybe it was a one off? A tough day in the FBI isn't unheard of afterall, she thought. However, he continued his strange behaviour all the drive home. Uncomfortable silences followed by some unprompted facts about genetecists and their work. When he dropped her off outside her door, he told her he could no longer go through with their Thursday rituals. Something about scheduled phone calls, he said. He didn't make eye contact, either.

After a while, it was just her stealing the glances. She could no longer feel his gaze burning into the back of her head. When she would look at him, he was always smiling down fondly at his copy of 'The Narrative of John Smith'. In fact, he was always smiling. It was that same lovestruck smile she would recognise on herself when she looked in the mirror. A smile that definitley wasn't for her.

It was a windy day when Derek had finally called him out on it. The "Hey pretty boy, who's painted that smile on your face?" ringing out in the almost empty bullpen. She stiffened, looking up from her coffee and notes on the desk while discretely eavesdropping. "It's... It's nobody. Well, not nobody. Her name is Maeve. But don't say anything about it." He had whispered back. She had cracked. Her vision blurring the paper below her as she slowly stood and excused herself to the bathroom. Nobody had noticed her leaving.

She was the other girl. The somebody else.

She had always been a sacraficial person, which explained why she tearily offered herself as hostage instead of the beautiful Maeve Donovan. Like in eighth grade, when she sadly handed the rose back to her best friend. After all, she just wanted her to be happy. Or when she told her boyfriend to “go for it!” with her sister, even when they were still in a relationships. More than anything, she wanted the people around her to be happy. And as a doctor, she had a responsibility to keep those around her alive. So she threw herself in front of Spencer and towards the two women, landing unsteadily as she pleaded and cried. She couldn’t even here what she was saying, all the words a blur among the tears and rush of adrenaline. But what she dreaded most came next. The shrill cry of a bullet, the thud as Spencer fell to his feet in tears. Y/N stood still as time stopped. She looked around the room, feeling her breaths shorten by the second as the room started spinning. And then it all went black.

She had heard from JJ that he was ignoring everyone’s calls, only taking in gift baskets once he was sure the owner had left. In typical Spencer fashion, he was bottling himself and his feelings up. Surely for a man of his intelligence he knew it had to be a bad idea. She cared too much about him to let him suffer alone, and while she knew that facing him would cause her grief, she just had to see him. She knocked slowly on his door, calling out a soft “Spencer... It’s me. Y/N.” There was no answer, so she hesitantly took his spare key from his pocket and clicked open the door.

The apartment was dark, but she could still make out his figure wallowing on the couch. He was sitting upright surrounded by pillows and tissue boxes. There was the faint sound of the tv in the background, though she couldn’t make out what was on. “Spence... hey”, Y/N muttered. Her hand running up along the couch and onto the back of his neck. “Look, I know things are awful. And I can’t offer much, but if you need someone to cry on, to sit in silence with, I’m here. I know how it feels to live someone you love”. Her voice broke over the last few words but he didn’t notice. Or if he did, he didn’t care. “She was amazing, Spence. Just let us help you. We can do whatever you want, just let us in... Please?”

He stayed silent. And as her hand started to move up his back, he snapped.

“Let you in? Let you in so you can do what? Get Maeve killed. You’ve done enough already, Y/N. Leave.” He yelled, standing up with enough force to send her scampering back. He was never the kind of guy to have a temper, and the slightest raise of his voice sent Y/N into a spiral. “It wasn’t the team that got her killed, Y/N. It was you”. The way he spit her name brought tear to her eyes, as if she was disgusting and worthless. “You walked in without backup. You, with no experience in negotiation. It’s like you wanted her dead.”

“Spencer, you know I would nev-”

“I don’t want to hear it, Y/N! Her blood is on your hands, her parents lost a daughter because of you. It should’ve been you.”

“Please, Spence, you don’t mean that. You’ll work yourself up over it later, just please-”

“I do mean it. I wish it was you. Now leave”

“Spence-”

“Enough. Just leave. You’re no longer welcome here. You’re nothing to me.”

She had tried so hard to keep it together, but the venom behind his words was too much for her to take. She sobbed, grabbing her keys and walking towards the door. He had made himself clear.

“And on your way out, leave the keys. I don’t want you coming by again, Y/N.”

She paused, not daring to look back as she dropped them next to his wallet on the chest of drawers. She left without a word, holding it together until she got to the elevator. As soon as the doors closed she let out a loud sob, her hand coming to her mouth in an attempt to stay quiet. She knew he didn’t mean it, that he was overcome by grief and anger that was bottled up for too long and she just happened to be the victim. In a way, maybe it was better it was her so the others didn’t get their feelings hurt. It cut like glass, the way he referred to her as if she was so worthless. It cut deep.

Spencer had lost his love. And she had just lost hers.

She sniffled her way home and collapsed on the couch. She was too sad to cry, too tired to be angry. She almost felt nothing. She slept a dreamless sleep, feeling time pass her by as she later motionless in the dark room. It was peaceful in some ways.

When she awoke the next morning, she made sure to get there early. She marched straight into Hotch’s office and turned in her resignation. He could sense something was wrong but didn’t want to crack her already fragile state. When she was done clearing out her desk, the others had started to arrive. She embraced them all and promised to keep in touch. It had been an eventful few months she had told them, but it was time for her to go back to the hospital where she belonged. After all, it sounded better than “the man I love just shattered my heart into a million pieces by telling me I should have died, and now being around you all makes me physically sick.”

She looked back to her empty desk as the elevator doors shut. Maybe one day she would see Spencer again, when they were both healed, but for now she just had to grieve.

Love is our true destiny. We do not find the meaning of life by ourselves alone - we find it with another. — Thomas Merton

#spencer reid x reader #spencer reid x fem!reader #criminal minds #criminal minds x reader #criminal minds fanfiction #spencer reid fanfiction #spencer reid angst #spencer reid x you #spencer reid fluff

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starcrossed591 · 9 months

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KDrama Year in Review 2023

While I watched more KDramas this year than CDramas, none of them consumed my heart and soul quite like this year's crop of CDramas did (CDrama review post here). And I dropped KDramas more readily than I have in years past, in part because there were so many more things to watch than I had time for (also I had to finish my dissertation and graduate, etc etc). Still, there were definitely some that I really, really enjoyed, so here's this year's KDrama round up:

16. My Lovely Liar: Started strong, got boring real quick. Dropped for homophobic murder plot. Still, glad to see that Hwang Min Hyn can actually act (although full disclosure, I did still enjoy him in Alchemy of Souls, wooden as that performance may be). Hoping Kim So Hyun can catch a break and get a role in a drama more worthy of her in the near future.

15. Crash Course in Romance: Excellent performances and chemistry by the ML and FL. Romance between two middle aged people instead of youths is also a treat. Dropped around ep 12 because of the unnecessary, homophobic murder plot. Pass.

14. A Good Day to Be a Dog: Surprisingly stronger than the goofy premise suggests, largely on the basis of Park Gyu-Young's performance as the FL who turns into a dog upon being kissed. Pacing problems in the third act around the origins of the whole dog curse thing. Can't say I recommend unless you're really in the mood for some shenanigans, but largely inoffensive if a little silly. (Also it turns out Cha Eun Woo *really* leveled up his kiss game for this one!)

13. Love to Hate You: Perfectly serviceable rom com. Nothing too special, but a nice weekend binge if you're in the mood for that. Also a good way to see Kim Ji-Hoon's v handsome face and that *hair* without having to deal with everything involved with his rather murderous run in Flower of Evil.

12. Joseon Attorney: A Morality: Perfectly serviceable law procedural/Joseon historical. If you don't like either of those genres your mileage may vary, but I had missed having Bona on my screen, so it worked well enough for me.

11. Welcome to Samdal-ri: I seem to like this one more than literally everyone else I know, and I fully admit that my enjoyment of this drama is more vibes-based than plot-based. I guess I have a soft spot for Shin Hye Sun yelling at people at Ji Chang Wook going a bit unhinged over a woman who ran away from him (see also: Lovestruck in the City).

10. My Demon: Very much enjoying Song Kang as a cranky demon falling in love with a human. Very tropey in the best way, and feels like a return to form for the supernatural romance genre. Remains to be seen if they'll land the ending as of this writing, but enjoying as it goes.

9. Doctor Cha: A contribution to the slate of divorce comedies I watched this year (see also: Strangers Again (KDrama) and Let's Get Divorced (JDrama)), a surprisingly touching story about growing older when you've devoted your life to someone who has not done the same for you.

8. Alchemy of Souls: Light and Shadow (Part 2): While Ko Joon-Yung never quite managed to replace Jung So-Min as the FL for me, I definitely still enjoyed the closer to this fun fantasy series. Special shout out to Shin Seung-Ho as Prince Go Won and his pet turtle

7. Strangers Again: I didn't see a ton about this one on tumblr as it was airing, but I found this rom com? melodrama? divorce procedural? makjang? story about relationships and why they end unexpectedly profound. I tuned in expecting mindless makjang hot mess, and instead got a thoughtful meditation on divorce. Left me feeling unexpectedly melancholy at the end, but glad I watched it.

6. The Secret Romantic Guesthouse: Very fun sageuk! Probably won't knock your socks off, but it does what it does very well. Bonus points for a B couple as compelling as the A couple. I've also been a big Kang Hoon fan since Little Women, and there are a couple of other actors in here that I'm always glad to see working.

5. Perfect Marriage Revenge: Tour de force makjang. Came out of nowhere and blew me away. Hits all the right beats, and unexpectedly fun (and was a nice break from the heaviness of My Dearest for me). This was a good year for jaded and slightly unhinged transmigrated FL's back for their #revenge (see also: Story of Kunning Palace in CDrama land), and I was here for it. Also features one of the spiciest make-out scenes of the year, 10/10 recommend

4. See You in My 19th Life: Absolutely loved this haunting, melancholy, and sometimes unexpectedly goofy reincarnation drama. I loved the webtoon and had high expectations, and this drama largely met them! The continuing relationship between sisters Ji-Eum (Shin Hye Sun) and Cho-Won (Ha Yoon Kyung) was a special highlight for me, and while Shin Hye Sun is already a never-miss for me, I'm especially looking forward to whatever Ha Yoon Kyung does next. I prefer the ending of the Webtoon to the KDrama, but I'm still delighted this drama exists and am glad I watched it.

3. The Interest of Love: Look, I loved this drama. Even though it seemed on the surface like nothing but *mess* in the interpersonal lives of these characters working at a bank on the border between a rich and poor neighborhood in Seoul, it nonetheless had some of the most searing class commentary of the year for me. I also love an FL who will (spoiler) pack up her things and disappear at the drop of a hat, even if no one else will understand her decision to do so, because she just cannot deal anymore (see also: the FL in Lovestruck in the City, whom I also love but everyone else hated). This drama kept me gleefully coming back every week in a year where not a lot of others did.

2. Call It Love: A revenge slice of life melodrama that I found unexpectedly touching in its deep melancholy. Loved not only the main couple, but the relationship between the siblings and their pharmacist bestie. A lovely character study. (Also I somehow ended up watching this at the same time as Till the End of the Moon and Li Susu as Ye Xiwu's hidden identity/revenge plot, which was unexpectedly stressful! Had a very "it's the same picture" moment despite two dramas in two genres that could not be further apart.) If you missed this one (and since it aired on Disney+, you might have--Disney+'s effects on the KDrama streaming ecosystem will be the death of me), it's worth seeking out!

1. My Dearest (Parts 1 and 2): Kind of feels like everyone has said everything there is to say about sageuk of truly epic proportions, but it blew me away as well. Epic romance? Check. Twisty political machinations? Check. Heartwarming friendships between women? Check. Strong ensemble cast? And my top FL of the year, Lady Gil-Chae, played to perfection by Ahn Eun-Jin. I've adored her since Hospital Playlist, and am delighted that she's getting the attention and the roles she deserves. Namkoong Min also a top contender for ML of the year as Lee Jang-Hyun. Part 2 dragged for me a bit in places after a nearly perfect Part 1, but such a great drama overall.

Favorite Drama of the Year: My Dearest. See above.

Favorite Female Character: I mean, it's gotta be Gil Chae from My Dearest, right? She starts out as such a spiteful, spoiled noblewoman, and then turns out to have a core of pure steel. Turns out all her conniving and strategizing, which went towards causing mischief in the village, really just needed a proper outlet. While I would never want to be in the circumstances in which she found herself, if I did, she's exactly who I would want on my side.

Favorite Male Character: Everything's coming up My Dearest this year, because this one is Lee Jang-Hyun in My Dearest as well. Checks the box for my competence kink, and has a knack for showing up just when Gil-Chae needs him, even at great personal cost. Also a smart-ass, which I probably like a bit too much in a man.

Favorite Secondary Female Character: Cho-Won from See You in My 19th Life. Her relationship with her reincarnated older sister was almost more compelling to me than the main romance sometimes, and really helped develop how the ties that bind us are not just romantic ones. Also she was just super cute

Favorite Secondary Male Character: Could have picked anyone from Team Himbo in Alchemy of Souls, but gonna have to give this one to Go Won, himbo prince of my heart

Favorite Ship: Again, it's gotta be Gil-Chae and Lee Jang-Hyun in My Dearest. Sometimes, there are drama couples that nearly cause me pain when they are apart, and these two quickly became one of them. Though their relationships is hardly functional for much of it, through all that push and pull, they ultimately learn how to show up for each other. Also, their *chemistry* is insane!

Favorite Secondary Ship: I loved Hye-Seong and Sung Joon, the B couple in Call it Love. Seeing the SFL grow more comfortable with herself after a truly shitty ending to her previous relationship was a nice respite from the hidden identity stress of the A couple in this one. I'm also a sucker for a good romance where you start to see someone you've long taken for granted differently. (Close Runner Up: Cho Won and Do-Yun in See You in My 19th Life)

Favorite Platonic Relationship: Gil-Chae, Eun-Ae, and their maids, Jong Jong and Bong Doo, in My Dearest. I loved loved loved the relationship between these women in this drama, and part of the reason the second half of the drama suffered a bit for me is because of how far it moved away from this core relationship. They were ride or die for each other more than the majority of the men in their lives, and I loved that for them.

Trope that Needs to Die: While I find murder plots in rom coms tedious at the best of times, homophobic murder plots are really not it. Quit it, y'all. It's not cute.

Dramas I Missed: Moon in the Day, The Story of Park's Marriage Contract, and Tell Me That You Love Me (grrr Disney+ on this one) are on the list for next year. I'm probably missing others.

Non-2023 Drama Spotlight: Finally went back and watched Do You Like Brahms? for a hit of Park Eun-Bin. A lovely, if also melancholy, slice of life romance that's just as much about what to do when a (career related) dream that you've worked really, really hard for just isn't going to come through as it is about the main romance. Also made me fall in love with Kim Min-Jae and his lovely deep voice, enough so that I also then went back and finally watched Dali and the Cocky Prince, which was also a treat. Recommend both.

Most Looking Forward To: I continue to yearn for a Yumi's Cells 3, and who's to say if that one will ever come through, but I'm putting it out into the universe anyway. More realistically, I'm looking forward to the surprisingly stacked line-up of sageuks coming up, including Captivating the King and Love Song for Illusion.

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basiatlu · 1 year

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Getting To Know You Tag Game

Three Ships: I'm going to not include the obvious constant in my life (that being Drarry and other minor/bg Harry Potter ships) because where's the fun in that??? I've enjoyed Drarry since I was 13 so let's just get to the side dishes. You wanna get to know the full Bosh.

Steve / Billy from Stranger Things

Reylo from Star Wars (called it after watching Force Awakens the 1st time i watched it opening night I was starstruck- i was gripped. The dark romance tropes were too potent, sos)

Soriku from Kingdom Hearts (ride or diiiiie)

First Ship: I'm going to also pick 3 of my First Ships because I had so many growing up *shudders*

SasuSaku & SasuNaru - I loved watching Naruto on Toonami at 2 am, practically muted to not wake up my family

Jack Frost / Pitch Black from The Guardians (I loved it an unhealthy amount)

Robin / Slade from the Teen Titans animated series (not the reboot)

..... I'm noticing a pattern.

Last Song: "Rock the House" by Gorillaz but like I hate this question? I listen to music all day long and my taste is alllllll over the damn map. I did listen to "Curicó" by Kiltro on repeat x5 today. A banger.

Last Movie: The Mummy

Currently Reading: I'm reading "Men Who Love Dragons Too Much" by fencer_x and also working through the Mistborn series by Brian Sanderson (only on book 2 and have taken a long break, distracted by HP)

Currently Watching: attempting to finish the og Trigun anime - love it so much, Vash is such a critter.

Last Thing I Wrote: my BFA dissertation? Pfffft-! But besides that, creative writing-wise i used to write a lot of drabbles based on my OC's and the world I built for them. I have like 4 spiral-bound notebooks on worldbuilding, magic systems, and characters for it that I haven't done anything with.

Currently Writing: planning a steadily evolving project that is TBA and is for sure HP related *wink-wonk*. Not really writing beyond notes and adlibs as it's a collab.

Phew that was a lot I am so wordy gosh!

Well thank you so much to @lilbeanz @starquestingfordrarry @goblinmatriarch and @thecouchsofa for tagging me in this lil game! I had a long day and couldn't get to drawing, I'm so saaaaad! But this was fun to type out while layin around, buried under cats.

I tag @mono-chromia and @moon-ambassador and any of my other mutuals who would like to, but I won't be as obnoxious to youuuu

#shushbosh #tag game

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blkkizzat · 5 months

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hi im shy so i haven't interacted b4 but i luv your fics! i like that you write stories & just don't post smau or twt porn links.

Hey nonny! TY for liking my work, its appreciated!! I do encourage you to interact though, even if its just a comment or continued anon msgs cause they do encourage me to write. I also really like receiving them <33 so I hope you or anyone else feels comfy to interact with me. *i dont bite i promiseeeee*

However, I honestly don't think theres anything wrong with smaus or twt porn links.

I incorporated smaus into my fics before. I adore writing or reading a good crack fic/post so I definitely think they have their place too and they are funny! I just personally struggle when it comes to writing shorter content so not something in my wheelhouse to do. (lol anything i write under 1k words i automatically think is dogshit. lol someone teach me to write short stuff i beg.)

Also I be EATING UP those twt porn links!! I don't post any of my own as my twitter is a stan account and I don't follow/like/retwt porn on there cause I don't want to mess up my algorithm. But I do be bookmarking them HEAVY! They are good reference material for my smut fics tbh.

Also I try to stay out of the mess/discourse cause I feel like people should be able to enjoy what they like without writing lame dissertations in defense/debating about it. But since we are on the topic already I'll add I haven't really understood the hate for them in particular, especially those saying people who like/post them have porn addictions because what!? Like we are not all on here to write/read smut?? pot---meet--->kettle. Anyway I guess I can understand the frustration some have when they assume they are stealing attention away from fics, but idk tumblr is huge and there is a place/audience for everyone is my belief. I've seen many long 6k+ fics breaking 20k+ so I think theres interest in long fics as well (one of my 7k+ fic has 18k+ notes). But I work in marketing, am getting my MBA right now and have worked in the middle of business and creative my entire career (at one point i worked for Twitch directly with streamers/influencers) so I can say when it comes to anything content/creative driven its honestly it's less about the quality of the individual work and more about regularly finding, interacting and catering to your audience if you really care about notes that much . I think its far more important though to do it for fun. Especially since we are not getting paid and doing this for free-99! So much creativity gets stifled when its too much about the business/results/notes side and you are working to please others/for clout. Thats a whole ass job in itself lmfao! I used to write on ff.net back in the day (years ago omfg) and stressed myself out so much from all the reviews/requests that I ended up abandoning it and was scared to write fanfics for years because of the anxiety of 'letting ppl down' until I got back into it last fall and decided to stop giving a fuck LOL.

Ahhh but I could ramble on about that for hours so let me stop I'm doing what I said I didn't want to do cause this is def now a mini dissertation from me going down the rabbit hole on this LMFAO! (im long-winded af lol)

But ty for the ask nonny I hope you come back soon <3

#kizzatanswers #anons #kizzatrambles

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nohkalikai · 7 months

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how's the masters going? thoughts on academia?

the master's went! i feel nothing! i hated it! i somehow finished my damn dissertation. i don't really have a working relationship with my supervisor and i don't like him very much so i've been slow wrt getting his comments on my manuscript (i wanna publish, submitted a protocol and everything)

as for thoughts on academia...my key takeaway from all my time in undergrad and masters is not to take academia seriously at all.

(these are all thoughts i've been expressing over time so a lot of my anger and frustration has dissipated, but there are strays here and there lol)

i think more than any intellectual thoughts i have, i'm led by my experience and emotions here. my time in educational institutions + interacting with research fellows, teaching assistants and profs has been absolutely disastrous for how i perceive the world, the people around me, and myself - undid all the grounding and pragmatism of my childhood as well as the idealism of my adolescence.

especially studying here in the UK, the lack of critical thought is absolutely MIND BLOWING. what really ground my gears was *just* how racist profs can be; not overtly so (though some were), but just in how resistant they were to students questioning any paradigms + in how they never acknowledged the power and history behind knowledge production -- doubly surprising since my field is heavy on social science methods and cross cultural competency. and these are the people who get put on boards and panels for studies in the global south. meeting experts irl in some of the most renowned centres and programmes for my field...girl what a joke.

the farce of it all aside, academics are truly some of the most depressing people to hang around. truly corrosive to the spirit. i thought it was just a problem w my field (mental health) but it really isn't! i suppose people doing business or finance PhDs would complain less though. but yeah it all seems to be a sort of insecurity olympics where academics rile against corporations and corporate employees...while behaving in the exact same ways in the exact same work conditions! all while being in massive denial about it. AND while looking down at the same world we analyse from a glass house, without a shred of self awareness.

admittedly i'm still reeling from my biggest regret in life so far (this damn master's degree) but i know that this anger and bias arose out of something genuine. i wanted to quit my field and quit academia for good after i was done w my dissertation lmao. but with time and perspective, i've simmered down a bit. still, i think the only way i can survive in my field and in academia is to treat it like fun playtime. because ultimately that is what it is, like with any field: a bunch of white ppl in the global north treat the world as their cute little playgrounds where they have a silly goofy time while the rest of us break our fucking backs to get anywhere.

(i am taking a big fat break from academia...a far cry frm 19 year old me who was very committed to wanting to do research in this field and was convinced that he had the grit to make it through)

#i wanted to keep it short #and i know this is more of an emotional response than an intellectual one #i do have thoughts abt publishing and career trajectories but what i wrote has been on my mind more #churail #asks #academia #i hated my time here so much that i wanted to quit the dream i've been working towards since i was 13

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destinyc1020 · 9 months

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https://youtu.be/yTHkWoBgrR0?si=a--7HeUFBjJIjA0U

I know this might be a tired topic for you, but I watched this video a few weeks ago, and this video was inspiring to any fan of a favourite actor. Matthew Mcconaughey is so inspiring because, like Cillian Murphy and even Daniel Craig, they are svtors who've acted lost in their lives but have had periods of their acting career their peak. In the video at 8:23, Matthew talked about how there was a point where he was the romcom guy and though critics gave him slack foe it, he was grateful for those roles because they kept him financially afloat and he was happy with those roles.

However, creatively, they weren't challenging him, and he decided to make a executive decision and take a risk on his career from being typecast and started to say no to anymore romcom roles for a 1 to 2 yrs. I remember I watched a Heath Ledger interview in the 00s where he also talked about doing the same thing after 10 things i hate about you. A lot of actors you claim are not employed would just be saying no to a lot of offers cause as we know Hollywood loves making a lot of money doing the same thing, lol.

When Matthew came back from that hiatus, he was offered more complex roles such as Killer Joe, Lincoln Laywer, Mud, Magic Mike the list goes on...

Funfact: Christopher Nolan watched Mud, and that was the film that got Matthew interstellar. It's fun to me because the film wasn't commercially great and moderately acclaimed, but it goes to show top ppl in the industry to keep tabs on you when you least expect it.

Ever since I was that video and read up Matthew's story, I haven't worried about Tom ever. I actually think he's in the best peak of his career. The expectations on him from the critics are so low that way he has room to breathe and do work without ppl expecting him to save cinema, lol.

Low expectations breed high rewards. Cillian Murphy is getting his flowers now, but he's been acting since he was a teen, and most of his projects have been mixed sometimes. He's the best thing in them. The beauty of doing projects that are so challenging and different, whether ppl watch, is that it stretches the acting skills of the actor, and that's why Cillain was the perfect Oppenheimer.

So to Tom, fans who are worried about his career and compare him to the yt boy of the month, notice that he has been acting since he was a child and how consistent his career has been. He will always be relevant, like episode 8 for TCR got Twitter in a frenzy. Like I don't worry about at all because Tomvoodoo will prevail lmao.

Sorry for the dissertation xxxx

youtube

Thank you Anon for your input! 😊

I'm going to have to watch Matthew's video later, but your comments were very interesting and had a ring of truth in it.

I have to admit that even I was usually used to Matthew doing mostly comedies growing up, so it was kind of a shock to me when he started doing more serious roles, and I myself was even a little skeptical on if he would really be able to pull it off. But he did! 😁

I think many ppl probably forget that Matthew actually started off his career in the John Grisham legal drama "A Time to Kill" (GREAT book, and GREAT movie btw!). So he had already proven that he could do it. He had just started to get typecast later on in his career. Honestly? I think that's what happens more often than not in Hollywood. 👀

Some actors decide to just take a break, regroup, and then come back and totally revitalize their careers by picking different roles.

Like you said, it's not like these actors aren't being offered any parts, it's usually more so that the parts being offered to them are not the ones that THEY want to do.

So yea, good points Anon. 👏🏾

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married-2-the-music · 1 year

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K-pop Discography Deep Dives: BTS (Part ONE)

A Disclaimer: I was planning, when I first started Tumblr, to be a lurker, but then I began an office job and needed something to listen to to keep myself occupied. And then, I started going through entire K-pop groups’ repertoires, album by album, and jotting down my thoughts. And then, I stumbled into K-pop tumblr and decided, you know what, there’s at least four people on this hell site who would read in depth rants about these discographies and at least five who wouldn’t read it and then get mad because it’s kind of our job as K-pop fans. My lukewarm takes should be taken with an entire silo of salt and the knowledge that this is completely for fun and occupying my very bored, very neurodivergent brain. All this to say, for the love of god, I’m a sleep-deprived student and I don’t have time for internet hate, so don’t kill me. With that being said, enjoy!

So, my credentials: I’ve got nothing this time, folks. I’m not an Army; I’m too casual to even be a casual fan. I like most of what I’ve heard, based on friend recommendations, but I have no idea how representative of their work the songs I’ve heard are. I know the group members’ names, but barely anything about them, although I’m always open to learning more. The reason I wanted to do this deep dive is because I’ve been a k-pop fan for almost five years now and I’ve heard every opinion between “BTS is the second coming of Christ” and “BTS is responsible for the collapse of society,” and I want to make up my own mind, free of influence.

Since BTS has over 200 songs, I’m also doing short supplementals each week, both to give myself and you guys a break and to look at groups / soloists with discographies too short to need a full week (because this is gonna be a dissertation and I��ll have to separate it into two parts). So, grab your lightstick, get some ice cream, steal a fluffy dog, and settle in folks. Let’s do this.

BTS, as you probably know, is short for Bangtan Sonyeondan, or Bulletproof Boy Scouts, and debuted in 2013 (they just had their tenth debut anniversary) and they have seven members: Jimin, Namjoon (RM), Taehyung (V), Jin, Yoongi (SUGA), Jungkook, and Hoseok (J-hope).

First things first, I love a good intro, and the loudspeaker is funny; 2 cool 4 skool is not what I was expecting. I’m not the biggest fan of “I’m too cool for you” hip-hop personally, but I can respect We Are Bulletproof (p.2) for the fact that the message doesn’t feel empty. I believe what they’re selling, even if I don’t want to buy it. To be honest, I’m a singer, and I listen to artists to hear their singing voices, because I know that they can sing beautifully.

On the album I’m much more a fan of Like, although I prefer the slow mix from their later work. The rest of the first album gave me a bit of whiplash to be honest, but I can appreciate how unique it is, both in k-pop and music as a whole. The skits are very odd, but they did make me feel like I know more about the members than I would about an average k-pop group from their album; I can see why so many people became fans early on.

On O! R U L8 2?, N.O. immediately caught my attention with the interesting instrumental and the sing-talk and singing combo. I did enjoy it more than We Are Bulletproof, because of the melody, but I liked it, didn’t love it. (I could’ve done without the growling). Most of the b-sides aren’t for me, but I do want to talk about Coffee and Paldongangsan.

I did like Coffee (especially the harmonizing on the Baby~~ part of the chorus) but I really didn’t like the rap verses. I don’t have anything against them being there in theory; raps can be done in a quiet, calm way (like in “Child” by Mark from NCT), but it’s not happening here and they feel very out of place. It’s all well and good to rap excellently, but you need to have some variety or else everything threatens to feel the same.

But, my hidden gem from this album is definitely Paldongangsan. Look, one of my majors is linguistics, so it’s no surprise I went wild at this song. It’s about the different dialects of Korean (which originate from different places there) and the stereotypes associated with each one, and it ends with Namjoon yelling at the rest of them to stop ragging on each other for their dialects and be accepting because it’s all the same language anyway. It was actually the first BTS song I heard, about two years ago (barring Dynamite, of course), because an Army friend of mine recommended it to me. I’ve never heard a song like it before (or since for that matter) and it’s remained on my Top 25 K-pop songs playlist ever since.

Anyway, digression over, and onto the next album, Skool Luv Affair. Boy In Luv is definitely a turning point in their discography, with its drive and rock elements. I wish it was more melodic, as I always do, but it grew on me after a couple more listens and it's my favorite of the title tracks so far. Hidden gems for this album are Just One Day and especially Outro: Propose (which I wish wasn’t so short, because I thought it was pretty good.)

With Dark & Wild we turn another corner. Danger intrigued me from the first part’s guitar riff and interesting instrumental. Although I was a bit wary, the set-up of the pre-chorus, pay-off of the chorus, and earworm of the post-chorus reassured me. It’s the first single from this deep dive that I’ve liked on 1st listen. (The “don’t get me confused” is stuck in my head now.)

War Of Hormone arrives with a record scratch and a bombast of horns. And arrives is the right word: it makes its presence known. I really enjoyed this one, and I even replayed it a few times. At its best moments, it mixes very different parts together without feeling like whiplash and becomes anthemic. I especially love the contrast between Namjoon’s scratchier, lower voice and Jungkook’s higher notes, and of course, harmonizing, my one true love. It’s a bit of a dumb song but they don’t take it too seriously and I appreciate that they aren’t afraid to laugh.

This album was also a turning point for me when it came to my enjoyment of their work; I didn’t really dislike any song on it and the better balance of rapping, sing-talk, and singing made me less reactionary towards the raps that were there. There’s more variety in the raps themselves too: sometimes they’re upbeat, sometimes they’re pensive, sometimes they’re angry, but they don’t all sound like they’re trying to kill me through my earbuds. Improvement! Also, showing some vulnerability helps balance the more boastful songs that are there, so I disliked those less too.

Yes, I’m fully aware that their rapping is technically very good, I just don’t always enjoy it. I appreciate songs like Hip Hop Phile and their meanings, but appreciation still can’t make you like something that you don’t like. As for what I did like, my hidden gems for this album were Let Me Know (which finally lets them sing and be open with their feelings), Could You Turn Off Your Cellphone (harmonizing again), and Look Here (very odd but I enjoy the horns).

I Need U is surprisingly calm in its intro and is very much poppier than the last few title tracks have been, with more of an anguished edge than a youthful “I’m cooler than you” edge, which I appreciated. I liked this one. It’s much better at balancing the harmonizing with rap and the instrumental (which is very interesting, by the way) than the previous songs, and I can see how it sets them on the path after that leads to their more melancholy and contemplative title tracks further down the line.

Run works as a good foil; it’s pretty upbeat, which does make sense given that it’s (somewhat) a love song. I love the way the chorus surges forward and even though it’s poppier than the others, it doesn’t feel like they’ve lost their identity. It still feels like a BTS song, basically. It’ll probably be making an appearance on my gym playlist, which is never a bad thing.

As a side note, I love that so many of their songs embrace the idea of full pre-choruses, choruses, and post-choruses, because it makes each track feel more intentional and lived in, not like they’re trying to fill space on an album or have empty space. In the k-pop songs that are on my top 25 (of which two are BTS), this holds true for the vast majority of them.

Dope is a song that, like War Of Hormone, feels like it arrives, not begins, with its “Ladies and gentlemen”, and I love the build-up that it has leading to the chorus. But…it just doesn’t have enough payoff to that build-up for me, with an empty, shouty chorus and more lyrics about how great they are. I know a lot of people love it, but it has too many of my pet peeves to get past. Sorry, guys.

In the same vein, I should like Fire. I love an explosion of a chorus and I adore a song about burning down the system as much as the next witch. I love the lyrics, and I think that pre-choruses are good and the bridge especially is great. But I don’t like this song. At all. It comes dangerously close to grating one too many times for me, and embraces all of the worst aspects of their early material with none of the charm that had me chuckling with, not at, the first few albums. I’ve mentioned many times how much I hate an anti-drop and this song does absolutely nothing to change my mind. I expect the cursing to the heavens to come in in about 3…2…1…

Save Me is the last single from the album, and the most similar to the BTS songs I’ve heard before: ethereal, wispy, ruminating, and with a soft electronic background. I do like this one, although I wish the last chorus had more of an end (like I was a bit confused when the next song started) and I wish the main rap was a bit calmer to fit with the rest of the song. It’s at its best when it allows their voices to just be and meld with each other.

I have one main hidden gem for this album, which is Butterfly. It’s no surprise that I love this one with how insane I am about harmonizing and vulnerability, but I really do love it. I feel like this should’ve been a single instead of Save Me, to be honest. All of the main gripes I have with it are remedied here: the chorus is fuller, the ending feels earned, and the raps are just calmer enough that they don’t stick out like a sore thumb. I also appreciated Taehyung’s voice more than I have in the past, and I’m glad for him in the chorus.

Also, speaking of vulnerability, I also, somewhat surprisingly, like the intro of the Most Beautiful Moment In Life, although I didn’t plan to on first listen. I appreciate that this song doesn’t try to paint them as above the world or better than anyone, but embraces the genuine emotion that they’re so good at conveying. It’s such a raw expression of exhaustion that I felt sympathy even before I looked up the words, which is pretty damn powerful.

And….breathe. Would it surprise you to learn that we’re only in mid 2016? Yeah, yeah, me too, kid. This is where Part 1 ends, I do my Supplemental for the week tomorrow (a boy group who I highly doubt you’ve heard of), and we all go touch some grass and eat some Doritos. K? K.

I’ll see you next week, for both Part 2 of this odyssey and a girl group supplemental!

#k-pop #review #BTS #BTS review #jungkook #jin #jimin #RM #namjoon #v #taehyung #hoseok #j-hope #suga #yoongi #discography deep dive #k pop boy groups #Spotify

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