#this update is so overdue im sorry

[sallowedbethyname]

[sebastian sallow x mc] to be home, to be loved ch.3

excerpt:

Ominis Gaunt arrived seven days after you and Sebastian had settled in Professor Fig's house. He was dressed in black from head to toe and there were dark circles under his eyes, as if he hadn't gotten a wink of sleep. Still, when Sebastian opened the door and Ominis sensed his best friend and you, relief washed over him. Pale face brightened up, taut shoulders grew slack, as if a huge weight had been lifted off his back.

tags: found family, friends to lovers, characters will age, eventual smut, child abuse

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Ominis Gaunt arrived seven days after you and Sebastian had settled in Professor Fig's house. He was dressed in black from head to toe and there were dark circles under his eyes, as if he hadn't gotten a wink of sleep. Still, when Sebastian opened the door and Ominis sensed his best friend and you, relief washed over him. Pale face brightened up, taut shoulders grew slack, as if a huge weight had been lifted off his back. 

“Hello, you two, glad I didn't end up in the wrong house.”

Sebastian grinned. “Good to see you again, Ominis.”

You opened the door wider for him. “Come in, Ominis, we've been waiting for you.”

Slowly, the blond-haired boy stepped into the house, halting just after a few steps inside. You looked at him curiously, wondering why he hesitated. 

“This house feels warm,” Ominis murmured. “And welcoming.”

Your eyes widened ever so slightly. “It is, isn't it? It's what I felt, too, the first time I came here,” you softly said. “Ah, your room is upstairs. It's the largest in this house. Sebastian had been generous.”

“No more sleeping in the same bed, Ominis. Ain't that fun?” 

The blond boy smiled. “What a pleasant surprise. I can sleep peacefully knowing I no longer need to hear your snores.”

“Hey! I didn't snore!” Sebastian protested, his face reddening as he turned to you. “You've never heard of me snoring, did you?”

You tried to stifle a laugh. “Well, no…”

“See? I told you!”

“But I am a heavy sleeper and we slept on different floors, so… I don't know, maybe you do snore but I didn't hear it, Sebastian.”

“No, nope, you can't pull that on me. If you didn't hear anything, then I didn't snore. And don't forget how you slept soundly on our first night here,” the brown haired boy retorted defensively. 

No longer able to hold back yourself, you threw your head back and laughed, the sound rang pleasantly across the living room. You couldn't help it, Sebastian was just too fun to tease. 

“What happened on your first night here?” Ominis curiously asked. 

“Neither of us could sleep so we read some books in the living room and fell asleep there,” you explained. 

“Oh,” the blond haired boy hummed, a thoughtful expression settled on his face. 

“Ugh, instead of bullying me, why don't we go to your room, Ominis? Unless you don't want it, which I'll gladly take,” Sebastian spoke, still pouting. 

“There's nothing more dishonorable than someone who goes back on their words,” Ominis sighed. 

After a few more banter, the three of you finally climbed up the stairs to the second floor. Hobbs dutifully followed behind, using his magic to make Ominis' belonging float and follow their owner into the room. Much to your relief, Ominis seemed to be satisfied with his accommodation. A soft smile bloomed on his lips, followed by an appreciative nod, after he spent a few seconds standing in the middle of the room, his almost sentient wand stretched out and emanated the usual crimson glow. 

“This is a good place, thank you.”

*

Professor Fig's house became a lot livelier since Ominis' arrival, mostly thanks to his bickering with Sebastian. They did it almost all the time and you treated it as free entertainment, switching sides every now and then depending on how interesting the topic was and whose opinion resonated the most with you. They'd bicker about school, about which was worse — bubotuber pus or troll booger, about the feasibility of owning a pet niffler, and so on, and so forth. 

“You need to learn to pick a side,” Sebastian said one day, as the three of you went out and took a walk along the small creek near the house. “This morning, you supported me, but then you were Ominis' most passionate supporter by lunchtime. Disloyalty is a bad trait, you know.”

“I am simply a humble critical audience. It is bad to blindly accept anything that was given to you without critical thinking, you know,” you replied lightly.

“In other words, you have terrible opinions,” Ominis piped in. 

“Great people don't become great by conforming to the standards of society,” Sebastian retorted, kicking a small pebble that fell into the river with a satisfying wet sound. 

You let out a laugh, slowing your steps while the two boys continued walking and arguing to themselves. Something warm spread in your chest as you watched the two of them walk side by side, shoulders brushing occasionally and still very much engrossed in their conversation. Faintly, you wondered if this was what they were like before. If it was, then you were glad they could have a semblance of normalcy back. Heaven knew both of them needed it. 

The long walk led you to a small green field. It wasn't anything impressive, but green enough that the three of you decided to lay down on the grass and watch as the pure white clouds passed you by. Soon, you and Sebastian began to bicker about the shapes of clouds in the sky, with Ominis giving dry comments every once in a while, before the conversation halted to a stop. 

Silence stretched for a while as you enjoyed the breeze, the smell of the grass and river, and the sound of chirping birds. You thought you could drift away to sleep like this and you wondered, it wouldn't be so bad if you never woke up.

And that caused you to open your eyes, surprised by what you were thinking. 

“I'm thinking of finally visiting Professor Fig's grave,” you finally spoke, announcing your plans to your friends.

Sebastian's eyes snapped open and Ominis turned his face to your direction.

“You hadn't visited him at all?” the blond haired boy asked.

“No, I… I wasn't ready.”

“We can go with you if you want,” Sebastian offered. “Three is better than one, don't you think?”

You had never considered visiting your mentor's grave with Sebastian and Ominis. Neither of them were close enough to the late Professor and you were more worried about them feeling awkward as you cried your eyes out in front of the grave. But perhaps… it wasn't such a bad idea. It would be nice to have friends by your side while you did something daunting. 

“I'd like that,” you finally said, smiling. “Perhaps next week? I still think I need more time.”

“Sounds like a plan.”

*

Eleazar Fig was laid to rest in a public cemetery not too far from his house. His grave was on the right side of the cemetery, seven rows from the entrance gate, right next to Miriam Fig. 

As promised, Sebastian and Ominis went along with you, the two boys flanking your side as you stood before the grave. 

You had expected many things, to be honest. Had imagined that you'd break down into tears as soon as you arrived. Had prepared a speech or a prayer you'd deliver to your mentor and his wife. But now, as you traced the carvings upon the tombstones, you felt… nothing. 

You figured your brain was struggling to equate this gray stone grave to your professor. Once again having trouble that he was truly gone and you could no longer hear his wise counsel. Such a strange thing, death, you thought with the inevitability of it all, it'd be easier to comprehend, to accept. But it didn't. 

The silence continued to stretch. You lifted up your wand and tried to cast a spell you taught yourself before school ended. Softly, you whispered it to the wind and a single white rose began to materialize, followed by other buds, stems, and leaves. The roses began to gather, forming a simple little bouquet wrapped in paper wrapping. Carefully, you brought the bouquet to your nose, relishing the smell, before lowering it to Fig's grave. 

“Hello, Professor, it's been a while.”

The words felt foreign in your mouth. Pretentious and out of place, because neither Fig nor his grave could hear you and be moved by your greetings. So who were you talking to? What was the point, if neither the sentiment nor feelings could reach the person you intended? 

You didn't realize that your breathing had become shallow and hurried. Your knees buckled, eager to run back home. 

But then, Ominis did something you didn't expect. 

He lifted up his wand and conjured a bouquet of gardenias. You could only watch in silence as the bouquet floated mid-air before it descended right next to yours. Not a moment later, Sebastian did the same thing. This time, a white daffodil bouquet. They all laid side by side right below Professor Fig and Miriam’s tombstones. The white petals brushed against their names.

“Thank you. I… I know I should say something but I just couldn't,” you admitted in embarrassment. “Can we sit here for a while instead?”

“Of course! You don't even need to ask,” Sebastian said in surprise. “We can stay here for as long as you need.”

Once again, a huge wave of gratitude washed over you, almost big enough to bring tears to your eyes. But you stubbornly held on. The three of you then sat together in front of the grave, shoulders brushing against each other to protect yourselves from the cool wind. 

“Sorry, I reckon a cemetery isn't exactly the best place to hang out.”

Sebastian let out a chuckle. “You're saying that as if we didn't spend most of our time exploring decrepit ruins, goblin factories, and catacombs.”

“Sebastian's right. You're never one to be conventional.”

That caused you to laugh. “It wasn't up to me! I very much prefer exploring flower fields.”

“I’d give it five minutes before you're raring to go back to the Forbidden Forest to find buried treasures.”

“Oh, hush, Sebastian.”

More laughter. You noticed Ominis tracing the edges of Fig's grave with his fingers, as if studying the shape and texture. 

“This is nice,” the blond-haired boy quietly said. “My aunt Noctua, she… My family wasn't really interested in holding a proper burial for her, so… last week, I decided to make some sort of a memorial for her in a secluded corner in my garden. To this date… I still couldn't give her a proper eulogy.”

You kept your gaze at Ominis as he spoke, holding onto every word. It was then you were reminded of how death had been present among both you and your friends. You turned to look at Sebastian, who had been staring at the grave with an unreadable expression on his face. 

Sensing your gaze, he looked at you and smiled. “I don't think my uncle would've appreciated me giving him a speech, let alone visiting his grave.”

“Merlin…” you muttered under your breath. “What is it with us and our families, or lack thereof…” 

You furrowed your eyebrows as a sudden heaviness settled on your chest, weighing you down. 

“Things like this are more common than they should, as unfortunate as it sounds,” Ominis said with a rueful smile on his face. 

“You know, I…” you stammered, trying, despite the great difficulty, to get the words out. “I've always dreamed of having a family. A mother, a father, perhaps also a sister and a brother. God, I've always wanted a sister…”

You paused when your voice began to shake and you could almost feel the burn in your eyes. But you took a deep, steadying breath, still trying as best as you could not to cry. 

“But when you've lived all your life in a sad, dilapidated orphanage where more children came instead of being adopted… growing older and older each year, watching as others were chosen instead of you, you would… you'd… you'd give up that dream altogether…” 

You took another breath, the first drop of tear started to roll down your cheek. And another. And yet still, stubbornly, you tried to preserve your dignity. Still, you tried to hold back. You didn't know why you did it, unable to find the reason behind your aversion to letting your friends see you cry, but you couldn't resist the urge. You couldn't help but hold yourself back. 

“But then the letter… Professor Fig's letter…” a sob tore its way out of your throat and you closed your eyes. Your shoulder began to shake as you remembered your deceased mentor’s face. The patience in his guidance. The encouragement you had never received before. “It is so, so cruel. I… I had never known that my dream was so— so close. It was almost within my grasp and… I would've had… would've had a— a father if he… if he—”

You couldn't take it anymore. You broke down. Wept into your hands as the grief you'd held back for so long finally wrecked your soul, tearing its way out of your shoulder, your spine, your chest. 

But then a hand, strong and steady, wrapped itself around your shoulders, pulling you to the left. Your face was met with Sebastian's shoulder as he held you closely and securely. Another hand touched your back. Ominis. And you cried there, burying your face in Sebastian's shoulder. You wept so hard you almost forgot to breathe, if it weren't for Ominis’ soft, soothing reminders. 

“He was… the first person that showed me kindness…” you sobbed. “I should've done more…”

“There's nothing you could've done!” Sebastian looked at you with surprise. “You told us everything happened so quickly. Ranrok came. The ceiling crumbled down. It was an accident… you… you can't blame yourself.”

“But if I had been quicker—”

“It wasn't your fault…” Ominis gently reminded you. “You've done the best you can, don't torture yourself with what-ifs.”

More tears rolled down your cheeks and you realized you had made Sebastian's shirt wet. Reluctantly, you pulled away and rubbed your eyes. 

“I've made a mess on your shirt, I'm sorry.”

The boy let out a sigh, a mixture of amusement and exasperation. “You really shouldn't worry about me right now, ace. I'm fine.”

You furrowed your eyebrows, biting your lip as you tried to stop yourself from crying again. You failed. You sobbed into your hands. 

“I'm sorry… I don't know why I can't stop, I—”

“You probably haven't quite given yourself the time to mourn for Professor Fig and it blew up on you now,” Ominis said in sympathy. 

“It's okay… just let it out.”

It took around fifteen minutes before you could finally stop crying. You could still go on, you knew, for the wound was still fresh. Yet you didn't want to trouble your friends any longer, so you wiped your tears away and took several deep breaths to calm yourself. 

“Thank you.”

“That's what friends are for, right?” Sebastian smiled.

Yet it didn’t quite reach his eyes.

*

Sebastian did not seem himself the next day and the day after that. He was quieter, his sarcastic and witty jabs were awfully weaker than they used to be, and whenever you and Ominis tried to include him in conversations, he would take a few seconds longer to respond, as if he hadn't been paying attention. 

His silence, you realized, was so… palpable. Perhaps it didn't help that Ominis had always been more reserved and the fact that the house was a bit too large for three sad teenagers and a house-elf made every absence of spoken words so obvious. 

By the third day, you decided you've had enough and, once again, you turned to Ominis for help. 

“I think he's grieving,” the boy said as the two of you sat on the back porch while Sebastian napped the afternoon away in his bedroom. 

“Anne?”

“...Naturally,” Ominis replied, though he didn't seem sure. His eyebrows were furrowed and he appeared to be deep in thought. “Although, I have a feeling he's also mourning his uncle.”

“Solomon?” you lowered your voice to a whisper. Cautiously, you looked back at the house, making sure that Sebastian was still asleep before scooting closer to Ominis. “To be honest, I've been thinking about that, too. The day we honored Professor Fig's passing in the Great Hall, he mentioned wishing the same could've been done to Solomon…”

“Our last visit to Feldcroft… he just stood over the grave, didn't say a word.”

“Well, what could he say?”

Ominis grimaced. “This situation is just so complicated. Too heavy. Solomon had never been nice to him, but he also…”

The blond boy let out a heavy sigh. 

“If you were Sebastian, how would you grieve?”

You stayed quiet, eyes staring at the bees buzzing above the pot of hydrangeas as you pondered Ominis' question. 

How do you mourn a person you hate? A person you've murdered?

The answer comes to mind much faster than you had liked. 

You don't. 

Suddenly, your hands and feet felt cold. You remembered the sea, the salt in the air, the rolling waves. You balled your hands into fists, nails digging painfully into the palm of your hands. 

“What are you doing? What's wrong?”

Ominis' voice pulled you back to earth, just like a drowning person being pulled back to the surface. 

“Nothing. I'm fine,” you lied. “I just… got a bit emotional.”

“...Huh,” the boy murmured with a strange look on his face. 

“A- at any rate… what if we just ask him?”

“What if he refused to talk?”

“I'm good with persuasion,” you responded. “And if he still refuses, we'll give him space but remind him that we're here for him, ready to listen.”

Ominis pondered over your words for a moment. “You know… sometimes I feel that you're too pure for this world.”

“What?” 

The boy shifted awkwardly as if regretting what he said. “It's just— each time you see a problem you itch to solve it, even if you don't have to.”

Hugging your knees close to your chest, you took a moment to answer. “I… feel like I really exist when I could be of help to other people.”

“Huh?” Ominis furrowed his eyebrows in confusion.

“I know, it's confusing, I just—”

But Ominis suddenly turned towards the direction of the house, looking alarmed. “Hush, Sebastian has woken up and is on his way here. Let's talk about something else.”

“Oh! Um—” you thought hard, glancing around your surroundings in panic. Your eyes stopped at the flowers. Immediately, you rambled. “Soo, each flower has its own meaning. Like the hydrangeas! It is said that they're a symbol of heartfelt emotion and apology. But daffodils, on the other hand, symbolizes rebirth, hope, and new beginnings—”

“What have you guys been up to?”

At Sebastian's voice, you turned around, pretending to be surprised. “Oh! Sebastian, you're awake.”

“She was explaining to me the different meanings of flowers… even though I don't know what flowers looked like,” Ominis answered. 

The realization struck you a moment too late and you could do nothing but let out an awkward, sheepish laugh. Sebastian stood at the doorway, his hair all messy from sleep and his eyes were staring at the two of you in curiosity. 

“You sure do pick interesting conversation topics when I'm not around.”

“Well, without you constantly rambling, we quickly ran out of things to talk about,” you replied with a small smile, hoping that the message would, somehow, get across. 

Sebastian's eyes widened ever so slightly. Then, he gave you a smug smile. 

“Are you saying you enjoy talking to me, ace?”

Your heart skipped a beat. “I didn't say that. Don't jump to conclusions.”

He let out a chuckle. “Whatever you say, ace. Whatever you say.”

*

The opportunity to talk to Sebastian presented itself two days later, when the three of you finally decided to sort through Professor Fig's belongings. It had been a long afternoon and you had lost count of how many objects, artifacts, and books you had sorted through, particularly because you and Sebastian kept getting distracted by the magical artifacts, trying to figure out their purpose and how they work. 

Eventually, the sun started to set and the three of you decided to call it a day. Dinner was served and everyone gorged on the delectable meal. Afterwards, the three of you sat side by side on the back porch, gazing at the stars, with a cup of hot chocolate in your hands. 

You decided to speak first.

“It's been a long day, isn't it?”

“I'm not protesting. Fig had so many peculiar items, it's fun going through them,” Sebastian replied with a soft chuckle.

“We could've finished two rooms if the two of you aren't so easily distracted,” Ominis spoke, amusement lacing his tone. “But it was quite the experience.”

“I'd rather we take a month to finish sorting through the items, if it meant we can study each of them.”

You held back a grimace. As much as you love magic, spending an entire month covered in dust and sifting through Professor Fig’s near-infinite amount of belonging wasn't something you'd love to do. Perhaps two weeks. You found that to be a bit more tolerable. 

Still, you straightened your back and managed a smile. “Yeah, we noticed. You've finally cheered up a little.”

Sebastian's eyes widened ever so slightly and for a split second, you could see it. The vulnerability flashing in his eyes. But he quickly masked it with a wide smile. 

“What are you talking about? I'm fine.”

“I've known you for over five years, Sebastian, I can tell when you're lying. Frankly, she can tell, as well,” Ominis said in a calm voice. 

You nodded. “Honestly, we're a bit worried, Sebastian. You don't need to keep everything bottled inside. We're here if you need to vent. Someone to listen to your problems and worries.”

Perhaps unused to the amount of worry directed to him, Sebastian began to shift uncomfortably. “I'm fine, though,” he insisted, still maintaining the smile on his lips. “Like I said, both of you needn't worry about me.”

“But of course we're going to be worried about you. You're our friend,” you said incredulously, eyebrows rising in surprise. “If you don't want to talk, we won't pry. But we'll always be with you if you need us. We've always managed to figure something out, haven't we?”

Sebastian stared at you with wide eyes, his breath hitching on his throat. “I—” he tried to come up with a reply. Perhaps a witty remark, perhaps an evasive joke. But the words you said had struck him to his core, hitting too close to home than what he preferred. 

And with worry etched all over your face, how could he deny you? 

A defeated, heavy sigh fell from his lips. He shifted his gaze from you to Ominis and smiled ruefully. “Honestly… aren't you doing too much?”

Ominis frowned. “What—”

“I killed my own uncle, remember?” Sebastian whispered. “My own sister left me for it but everyone else came to me, expressing their condolences. Professor Weasley, Garreth, Poppy, and Natty… the folks back in Feldcroft…”

The boy's freckled face contorted in pain, as if everything was too big and too paradoxical for him to comprehend. A concept too bizarre for him to grasp. His mouth opened and closed several times, but no voice came out as he didn't know what to say to properly put his feelings into words. Not when he himself was unable to understand and compartmentalize what he felt.

“You asked me what's bothering me, but I don't even know what I'm feeling most days. My head's a mess. My thoughts are like tangled threads in my head and I don't know how to sort them out.” 

The sight pained you, urging you to gingerly reach out to him, placing your hand on his shoulder. 

“We'll do it one by one,” you said. “Tell us everything, Sebastian, even if they made no sense. Even if they're a mess. We can take it.”

Sebastian drew in a sharp breath and buried his head in his hands. 

“I thought about Solomon,” he finally said and the words sounded like they were being punched out of his chest. Ragged and pained. “I keep remembering how he— how I…” the boy paused. Drew in a breath. “How Anne buried him all by herself. No memorial. And I… I wish he could have one. A proper funeral where people could bid farewell. He was… he was the one who took care of us all this time.”

He barked out a sardonic laugh, eyes wild as he stared at the starry sky. You opened your mouth to speak, but shook his head, squeezing your hand from behind Sebastian's back. Not yet. Not now. 

“But at the same time, isn't it strange? I… I hated that man. Always so angry, so full of rage. The smallest thing would set him off. Always sneering at me and telling me I'm too much like my father. Hah, he didn't even lift a finger to protect Feldcroft from the goblins even though he could. He gave up so quickly on Anne, always shooting down my attempts to cure her… at least I tried. I tried as hard as I could!” Sebastian gritted his teeth, his words dripping with venom. “I used to look forward to the day I left that dreadful house. I'd be free of him. But it turned out he still haunted me even after— everyone remembering him as some hero, some… some father figure… I know I deserved it but I… oh…”

Sebastian blinked, his fingers trembling as they touched the wetness in his cheeks. He didn't realize he had begun to cry. The boy shivered.  

“Sebastian…”

But the boy frowned, gritted his teeth, and wiped his tears away. 

“And Anne,” he said with a trembling voice, eyes red with unshed tears. “She was the only one I had left. I only wanted to see her happy. I'd do anything for my sister, you know I would— what I did is inexcusable, I know… but I was the only one who never gave up on her. I was the only one who kept trying… Yet still, she… she left. Wouldn't speak, wouldn't even look me in the eye. She abandoned me…”

As his rage and grief halted into silence, you and Ominis continued to wait, the only sound you could hear was Sebastian's heavy, ragged breathing. Even at this moment, he was still holding himself back. 

“You're probably thinking I'm irredeemable, aren't you?” Sebastian finally asked, his voice devoid of any feelings. 

You let out a heavy sigh. “No, Sebastian, you're not irredeemable,” you said in a low, quiet voice. “We wouldn't have prevented you from going into that place if you were.”

“...Maybe you should've,” he said. “Be honest with me, you can't seriously think I deserve… all this, can you? This normalcy, this… fresh start.”

“Condemn you to a life in Azkaban? Where the dementors suck all the happiness in you until you become nothing but an empty shell? Robbing you of any second chance to live and learn?” you hissed. “We could never do that to you.”

“Why couldn't you? You had every reason to,” Sebastian asked again, this time with a shakiness in his voice. 

“Because we care about you!” Ominis said sharply. “Sebastian, you're allowed to feel both sadness and bitterness towards Solomon and Anne, especially your uncle. Those feelings are not easy to bear, I know, trust me, I know how bad it is. I've been feeling the same way about my family for years, although the magnitude and situation may not be as similar to yours, but I understand how painful they are.”

Sebastian opened his mouth to argue, but Ominis cut him off. 

“No, listen to me for once. You can feel all of those feelings and even more all at once. Merlin knows how cruel life has been to you… But as to whether you're irredeemable or not, it depends on what you're planning to do now, does it not?”

“But I don't deserve it. Those genuine condolences, the help from Weasley and Feldcroft, this friendship—”

“If you think you're undeserving then put in the work until you deserve it!” Ominis replied. “Redeem yourself. Get better. Learn from your mistakes and don’t repeat them ever again!”

An abrupt silence fell around you, almost as if the night swallowed your voices. You watched your friends with wide eyes, almost intimidated by the heated exchange. 

“Sebastian,” you tried to speak. “Remember our first day here? We strolled around the city center the entire day and you told me you're trying hard to be better. You've taken the first steps, Seb, I… I know I may not be able to understand how you feel, but I do know how easy it is to get lost in the pain, how sometimes it feels impossible to get out. But you have been trying. I told you I can see your efforts, right? Don't forget that…”

Another silence. Sebastian rubbed his eyes with the sleeve of his shirt and took a long, deep breath. “Right,” he said in a hoarse voice. “Both of you are right. I’m sorry, I…” he tried to finish his sentence, to say something meaningful, yet unable to find the right words. Eventually, he only let out a sigh and shook his head.

Neither you nor Ominis took offense to it. You reached out your hand and gingerly placed it on Sebastian’s back, fingertips just barely grazing the fabric of his shirt, but you knew he could feel them. To your surprise, Ominis mimicked your action, offering his unspoken support. 

Another unexpected tear rolled down Sebastian’s reddened cheek. He shut his eyes and buried his face in his hands again, but he didn’t shy away from his friends’ touch. He welcomed them.

The three of you sat like that for a while, finding a sliver of peace and refuge amidst the quietness of the night.

tagging: @whoslestrange, @spacecadet16

[lilybug-02]

:D We gotta end it off somehow right?

CT Kris in the background:

The actual reason they ditched Chara.

Fan-art because I can draw. And I um.. kinda really love @akanemnon‘s comic…

Kind of a minicomic below…

Please forgive me. I’ve had this in my head forever and just wanted to share my AU meeting yours. That is my Final message. Goodbye. 🫡 jumping in this hole now 🕳️🚶‍♀️

[remxedmoon]

(you worked yourself to death.)

yeah i wasn’t kidding when i said these would be coming soon. <- haha funny joke marshall. so!! remember when i said that this post would be coming out last weekend? guess whose tablet broke a few days after saying that! so sorry for the delay!! this is long overdue. here’s a link to the drive, as always! everything in this part of the update should be in the miscellaneous folder (outside of the menu icons, which are in the menu folder. wauaua).

unedited versions below the cut, plus some notes. fair warning 90% of this is just ui stuff lol

so! all of this was already done by the time i posted the enemies. the delay isn’t *entirely* because of the tablet issues, i just managed to get distracted by making: even more redraws! i’d say new update soon but after what happened last time i shouldn’t jinx myself. but! almost All of the art for the initial mod release is done!!!! exciting!!!!!!

please be nice to me (silly) this is my first time doing frame by frame animation in… give or take 5 years? i followed the original animations pretty closely, so they don’t look Awful but i am Aware of the jank. i’m not an animator!!! they’re Good Enough for my purposes.

hey did you know that the original teleport map is slightly off center. did you know that. that’s not the case for the redraw for the record but it did make things a little harder. despite that, i think you can tell i was having fun with the dormont part of the map. i would’ve put more detail into the house, but we never really get a more detailed look at it??? and i didn’t want to make assumptions. so that part’s just traced from the original 👍. anyways shoutout to the clocktower being Curved for whatever reason

outside of those, all of the added art is actually just spritework. i didn’t know this at first, but there’s a TON of copies of sprites from the icon set. Basically Everywhere. so those are added now! and should work properly! also added a few sprites that were Missing from my original batch. not going to put them all here, but a few Important ones (which i actually had to make new art for) are the rock paper scissors cheatsheet, the Larger versions of the craft signs (used in the calamité fight and. probably somewhere else idk), and the craft signs for the tutorial kid fight!

aaaand i think that’s it! for stuff from this update. yeah no there’s more coming buddy. my tablet already broke one time this week there’s no way it’s happening twice. i’m not working on portraits Just Yet (though the temptation has been There), but i’ve got the title screens, a few backgrounds, and the ending cgs done! along with a few other assorted cgs sketched out. because im out of my fucking mind. so, uh, see you soon!! enjoy!!

[daddldee]

400 milestone and updates.

Hi guys, first of all I just want to say thank you so much for all of the support on my blog even though I’ve been gone 🫶 y’all are the sweetest bunch and im so grateful for every one of you. My last milestone was for 200 but since then we’ve doubled and that’s so amazing 💗

This is very long overdue since I haven’t been the most active on tumblr as I’ve been preoccupied with life and now school again (🤬🤬) I also had a period of time where I just lost interest in making mbs which also explains why I’ve been gone 😞

However now IM BACK !! I won’t be posting as often as I did before since I’m still busy with school/life but once in a while when I feel like making something you’ll see me

Also I’m sorry but I don’t think I’ll be finishing the leftover requests in my inbox 😭 if u requested and still want it, feel free to send another ask and I’ll do it

tags (feel free to ignore): @luvcsbn @studiogyu @beompercar @purinkiss @haenxn @sugarish @rkkuri @4uarterlife @jaes1lvr @tyunelly @hyetart @hoonprk @p-oisn @cg1rl @aiirene @luvsreve @aeraras @eyuulas @acdyzx @taerae-verse @idesani

[starsinthesky5]

you belong with me update:

hey queens :) still working away on this next chapter of ybwm (which is long overdue. im so sorry) and heads up, looking at everything ive written so far + every i STILL have to write. shes going to be long long. the ideas just never stop with this series so i hope you guys don’t mind the wait! i haven’t written for it since august so im taking extra time with this one to perfect it for you all 💌

[rebornofstars]

im losing my hinges.... not even kiddign abt those 10 open gdocs tabs. count them w me: yestermorrow, briar rose bg, the cursebreaker, the princess of everytihng (workign title), primordials, strawberry, sepfember drabbles, king of hyrule ch2, shadow fic,,, before the rain stops,,,, helpppppppppppppppppppppp

its 8pm and i am just. sitting here flicking between my 10 open google docs tabs . sleepy but awake. filled w the burnign desire to achieve somthing but also indecision as to what .i have to get up early tmrw. i am not in wip heaven or hell but a secret third thing. wip purgatory

[kiritila]

Are you still gonna be updating no one saw me?

this is such a long time overdue, but since ive been away so long i figured this would be a good way to address everything, like whats been happening in my life and my future plans for no1sm for everyones clarity.

to put it shortly, i work full-time, and have done for nearly 2 years now. i am a product designer and i work monday-friday, 9-5. i attend a full day of college classes once a week, this day being even longer than a work day, and on top of that i have a personal work-based tutor that i have to complete work for as well. so in terms of professional obligations, im extremely busy. in my personal life, ive been seeing friends a lot, running errands, planning for weddings, parties, buying a car, SO MANY THINGS. my life has been so hectic.

ive also been suffering some health problems recently. my earliest or readers that are close friends probably know i began writing no1sm to vent my feelings about trauma i underwent, and this obviously still affects me quite greatly alongside depression and anxiety. ive also been suffering quite badly with insomnia and fatigue problems, as well as, embarrassingly, moderately bad eczema.

perhaps the most ridiculous development of all: I AM NOT CURRENTLY HYPERFIXATED ON SOUTH PARK. SHOCK HORROR. BUT PLEASE DONT PANIC: it is still my spin, stan and kyle are still my most favourite characters ever, and most of all i still ENJOY south park and enjoy thinking about, planning, and writing no1sm (when im not completely utterly knackered). ive actually recently gotten majorly into formula 1 as a result of my friends, so if there are any f1 fans following me PLEASE SAY HI!!!!! i plan to do art for it but i have been busy and im also very much a perfectionist. (FYI: my favourite driver is max verstappen. no questions asked. i also love charles daniel lando oscar and honestly most drivers on the grid. i love niki lauda james hunt seb vettel and jenson button. i had a brief mclaren tooned hyperfixation. I AM CURRENTLY INCREDIBLY DEPRESSED OVER DANIEL RICCIARDO LOSING HIS SEAT)

anyway.. getting back on track.

AM I STILL GOING TO BE UPDATING NO1SM?

YES. YES YES A MILLION TIMES YES. i dont know when, but this story is something i have to complete for myself and for you guys. i realised i was putting myself under so much pressure for it to be perfect that it sapped the love i felt for it from me. now that i no longer have visible eyes on me waiting for updates on twitter, i feel much freer and relaxed with it. i dont know how or when, but yes, the story will be completed. do not ask me about the kyle prequel ive planned though DONT DO IT.

i also dont plan on posting about updates anywhere other than tumblr going forwards. ive since moved on from the twitter south park fandom where i was most active, as i felt like i was too old to be in a fandom of minors and the discourse was simply too much. so i decided to move to a fan space and sport that is a million times worse but still somehow has been better for me. so if you still want to follow me on twitter even though i dont south park post anymore, you can follow me at @vrstappns :)

WILL NO1SM HAVE AN UPDATE SCHEDULE?

NO. sorry, my mental health and my career comes first. i want to try and find a better balance that leaves me time to write but im afraid i need time to ease myself back in after so long off and theres no guarantee how long that will take me.

WILL YOU STILL BE MAKING ART FOR NO1SM?

YES. I HOPE. who knows when though cause i havent been able to draw in a long time and im still pissed off that i cant draw max verstappen as easily as i could ever draw kyle broflovski.

AM I ALLOWED TO USE YOUR STORY AND WRITE THE ENDING FOR MYSELF?

NO. PLEASE DO NOT DO THIS. as much as other authors may encourage this I REALLY DO NOT LIKE THIS. you dont know how much work i have put into this fic as well as how much of my own life and traumas are embedded between the lines of writing. this fic is practically half of me in the same way my parents’ DNA is a part of my make-up. not to sound rude but to even think you could possibly imagine how i intend for this fic to resolve and end when you dont even know me is laughable.

HOW WILL THE INTENSE HOMOSEXUAL RIVALRIES OF FORMULA ONE INFLUENCE THE INTENSE HOMOSEXUAL RIVALRY OF STAN AND KYLE GOING FORWARDS?

im sure 2019 charles leclerc and max verstappen guided carefully by brocedes and james hunt and niki lauda will figure something out. maybe not brocedes actually i am unsure if i want stan marsh to end up like nico rosberg. but i guess he is a good youtuber too and has great hair which is two things stan is NOT. gay loser. also david coulthard and sebastian vettel are there somewhere. GAY RED BULL RACING WILL LEAD US TO WORLD PEACE

thank you so much for reading, i know youve all probably moved on with your life but its a weight off my chest to finally write this out. i love this fic and i love that you all love this fic, if you are still here. i can only apologise for how long ive made you all wait.

please just have patience with me,

thanks muchly,

mike (formerly marshplaylist) vrstappns

[monstrouslyobsessed]

life updates and then some

oh dear, i've been gone for quite a long while, huh? i'm so, so sorry and i really, REALLY do appreciate all of your concerns and sweet messages! it's heartwarming to know that my works are still being loved even in my absence. yall deserves some explanations so ima get right in it.

mild cw ahead: bizarre financial abuse (?), depression, and nongraphic medical concerns.

these past few months were pretty rough, especially with the financial aspects, personal matters, and my health, both mental and physical, had been going downspiral to the point that my writing had become complete nonexistent and that i lowkey hated every word i put down. i won't get into too much of details, but the short of it, an estranged family member (and trust when i say they are estranged for very good reasons) pulled a fast one via some kind of legal fraud (???), which hurts my financial situation and impacted my ability to pay bills. im still a huge wtaf over it, i won't lie, but it is something getting sorted out atm via official and legal means (fun times to be had!!!). im incredibly lucky to be living with a very understanding person though who also got very angry on my behalf so don't worry about my current living situation.

health wise, doctors found something wrong with one of my organs but they couldn't determine the issue. since then, life had been a struggle.

with my health was the first thing to start for me, it's nothing fatal or too life altering, fairly mild imo (so say i with stupidly high pain tolerance, apparently), but it's kind of something i need to keep aware of with my consumption. but boy tis was not fun living with discomforts with my own body for a while. rest just fell into places afterward, unfortunately, but that's how the life go--you'll always have your ups and downs, just cherish the present while you can.

anyway, i can't promise i'll be posting regularly again given my situation(s), not as on a semi-frequent schedule, which absolutely does make me sad because i really do love making monsterfucker contents, not just for myself but for you lovely readers as well. hopefully i'll be back sooner than later. that said…

i do have a super overdue commission i'm going to post very soon! just got one last scene to get through (it's currently at 8.1k words....!) and get it edited and make it pretty--and bam! it'll be done and posted. so do look forward to that, at least.

heck, i'll leave yall with this teaser line at the start of the final scene!

“Let us give them quite a show, hm?”

just gonna...get through pron writing lmao <3 yet again, thank you all so very much for caring and i really do miss you and your kind words. please take care of yourselves, lovelies!

in the meantime, i'm going to clean out my blog a bit and i'll try to reply some of your asks later too. if you have anything random, asking for advice, or anything related to my ocs or my aus, ask away. my inbox is always open for yall <3

[tbaluver]

Hi! I'm sorry but my request might be too long cause my emotion is all over the place right now.

I'm going to start my internship on 3rd march and I'm very much unprepared for it. Mentally because of my depression its hard to stay positive and mentally right now I'm done with everything that I just really wish I can cry and sleep for a month.

I'm sorry for yapping, but back to the point can you make a headcannon for LADS boy comforting the reader with their own way. In really at lost right now and to be honest, I rarely cry or express my emotions. So when all of a sudden this thing happen I was at loss and cry that I don't know what to do right now.

I'm sorry if I make you uncomfortable and you can ignore this request. I just don't really know what to do or how to feel right now. Again I'm so sorry for yapping and thank you for all of your hard work!! I really love your work and your work really give me comforts.

first off congrats on getting the internship !! (∩˃o˂∩)♡ i apologize for taking so long to make the post for how they would comfort you but here it is if you want to check it out! Need Some Comfort? i hope it will bring some comfort to you !! i know it’s been a couple of days now, so my response might be overdue ( im so sorry ｡°(°.◜ᯅ◝°)°｡  ). it’s easier said than done but don’t worry about being underprepared because they will train you and show you the ropes. learn as much as you can from it! i really hope you’re doing so much better now, and if you want, you can update me on how it’s going! (˶ᵔ ᵕ ᵔ˶)<3

[demadogs]

what dynamics are you most excited about seeing in s5? 2. what's your ideal way for byler to play out?

im most excited for nancy and mikes dynamic!! theyve been so long overdue for a heart to heart and i really hope that shot we saw in this s5 video is mike coming out to her. potentially a hot take, but id so much rather mike come out to nancy than karen. i also think itd just make more sense because of all the stancy parallels to mlvn and just the fact that karens not as big of a character. honestly id rather mike come out to JOYCE than to karen. i feel nothing about the concept of him coming out to karen im sorry dont cancel me.

i have written a LONG ass post about how i want byler to play out. i just reread it and most of what i wrote still holds true. i have a few updates and changes and i definitely want him to come out to nancy. i posted it in 2023 and i think im gonna rb it with an updated version. i was going to answer how i want byler to playout here in a concise way but i cannot be concise about byler to save my life. every time i tried to answer, it was long as hell so i think im gonna save the hella long answer for when i rb the original post with my updated s5 vision cuz itll take me weeks.

that being said, i dont wanna leave you with nothing so im gonna tell you what is most important to me with how byler plays out.

mike and el's breakup being the same scene as mikes first time coming out to someone. it should be a BEAUTIFUL scene. ive said it before and i'll say it again, i HATE when people brush off the breakup and hope it'll be a quick meaningless scene in the first episode just to skip right to byler. its important and it has the potential to be one of the best scenes in the entire show. i want it to make me cry. it should be heartwarming and show that they do care about each other and love each other so much, just not romantically. i want el to tell him that she also didn't love him, she just thought she did. they both were just trying to be normal instead of doing what they wanted.

i want the painting lie to be a symbol of HOPE for mike!!! not something that triggers a massive fight. i want mike to ask about the painting once el admits she never loved him either and once she asks "what painting" mike realizes everything will said in the van was a lie, and INSTEAD OF BEING MAD ABOUT THAT IT GIVES HIM HOPE THAT HE MAY FEEL THE SAME WAY!!!!!!!! I AM A PAINTING-INDUCED FIGHT HATER!!!!!!! I WANT IT TO BE A SYMBOL OF HIS LOVE BECAUSE IT LITERALLY IS!!!!!

i want mike to accidentally see robin and vickie together as a happy queer couple and this completely rocks his world (inspired by the book i'll give you the sun, my beloved). i imagine this happening after his first kiss with will. i think it happened in the upsidedown and once they were back in hawkins he started shutting him out again. he still has so much shame and internalized homophobia. and then he happens to look through the window of a room and sees robin and vickie kissing and smiling and laughing. i see a lot of people talking about what can be done with robin and vickies characters in regards to byler. robin clocking mikes feelings, mike asking robin about vickie, stuff like that but honestly this is what i want the most. i want mike to just see queer happiness right in front of him. i want him to start crying and not be able to look away from them. i want this to completely change everything inside him that hates himself. i want this alone to be enough for him to allow himself to be who he really is. or at least start to try. i really really hope this scene happens it would probably be my favorite scene in the whole show.

[cloudy-caspirations]

Hey cas!! I wanted to ask you how to make the most out of notions (cuz its kinda complex app) + how to make notes omg im struggling w this YELPP😭😭

Hi !! I started using notion last year to try and organize my school life and still haven’t completely figured it all out, so I get what you mean with it being a little confusing 😭. I’ve been mostly using it as a planner, but just started writing notes on it over this summer break and am kind of loving it. I’ll include screenshots and stuff under the cut, but if you need more specific details or a tutorial for a database or something feel free to send another ask or dm!

My Notion Setup ⬇️⬇️

(Sorry if the formatting for pictures is weird, I’m still trying to figure out how to use this app 😵‍💫)

For Planning:

Here is my notion dashboard! It’s a little barebones compared to others that I’ve seen on Pinterest, but it works for me because if I include anything else my ADHD brain will get overwhelmed and won’t keep up with actually using and updating it.

I have two databases: one being used as an assignment tracker that sorts my assignments into To-Do, Overdue, and Done sections based on dates and the other has pages for my classes for the semester. (I just realized that I forgot the change the heading from Spring 2024 to Fall 2024, so please don’t mind that 😭) Along with the databases I have a simple to do list for things that I need to get done that aren’t assignment related.

You could also add a calendar view to the assignment database if you prefer seeing it in that format, I just choose not to because I use Google Calendar to see it in relation to my other plans for the day.

I don’t use the class pages for much because I preferred writing my notes in either Goodnotes or a physical notebook last semester, but I’ll probably start using them more because I like using notion to keep track of all of my code snippets and stuff along those lines that are easier to type than write out. It was also pretty helpful last semester for creating drafts and outlines for essays.

For Note-taking:

Here are two examples of pages that could go in the classes database if you prefer to take notes digitally. I like to use databases to create pages to take notes in for each chapter/section of the textbook or material for the class.

My favorite way of viewing it is the board view because I like having my progress visualized (and clicking and dragging chapters to the “Done” section is satisfying), but the table view is also nice if you want to include more details such as quiz scores or dates.

Here are some photos of my notes for a single chapter. I use section headers to separate the actual notes from other stuff like chapter-specific exercises or links, and use toggle headers for sub-section notes to make it less cluttered. Other than the formatting it’s nothing too fancy, my typed notes are similar to how you would take notes in any other software like GoogleDocs or Word.

[strxwberrymoonstar]

heyy i love your blog the fics are so cute!!! i wanted to kindly ask you if you could do a fic with neville? i love the way you portray him in your stories. usually others just write him off as sme shy weak boy but you portray him in such a special way, like yes he is shy but theres more to him than just loving plants and being inroverted, and i respect you so much for it. i was wonderng if you could do a big headcanon or fic centering around neville having a crush on the reader or him being the reader's boyfriend? i just miss him sm :(

Holy shit thank you so much!! I’ll try to make one about him being the reader’s boyfriend and them getting ready for classes!

this was so overdue and it sucks im so sorry, but i want to post it now and i’ll come back to it a in bit to update it <3

—————————————————————

Neville X reader - a sunny morning

The sharp sun ray’s sneak through the castle’s curtains as you lift the blanket up and over your head.

A yawn surpasses your lips as you lift your hand up to block the sun that reveals itself. Your eyes blink slowly, trying to get the sleep out of them as you move to sit up.

You lift the blanket off of your head and throw it away from your body. Lifting yourself off your bed while another yawn sneaks pass as you walk to the end of your bed, where your clothes lie.

Your warm pyjamas shimmy off of your skin as you put on your Hogwarts attire. You check yourself out in the mirror once last time before heading out the door.

The soft chatter fills the Gryffindor’s home room, people scattered all over the free chairs and sofas while some are studying at the tables over by the windows.

“Good morning, sweetheart,” a warm hand touches your tricep lovingly, giving it a soft squeeze. A warmth fills your body as you subconsciously lean towards him, his arms coming to rest around your shoulders as you lean backwards onto his chest. He places his chin on top of your head. “How did you sleep?” he asks, the breath of his words moving your hair slightly.

“It was good, missed you though,” You say, a sigh following your sentence. He squeezes your shoulders a bit tighter, a comforting reminder that he’s there. “That’s okay sweets, i’m here now,” Neville says, leaning down beside your head to place a quick peck onto your cheek.

[hakusins]

hakudean note: finally found time to do this!! anyways here is a long overdue mini event to celebrate 360+ followers on tumblr! first, i want to say thank you to all of you for your support and love through these few months!! when i dabbled into the dol fandom, i honestly never thought i'd get a lot of engagement and was content with just having fun. BUT HERE WE ARE! 360+ and probably still growing! no amount of words can thank my friends, mutuals and followers for this! i honestly would've lost interest long ago had it not been for all of you guys. so from the bottom of my heart, thank you for the support! as a thank you and to give back to the community that supported me these past few months, i've decided to open this mini event!

Mini Event - Drawing Requests! (5/5)

for a limited amount of time, i'll be accepting drawing requests! at the moment, i'll only accept 5 at a time. i can't promise that i'll open requests again after drawing the original 5, but i will do my best!

also i am planning on streaming the drawing process for these requests! however, right now im still in the process of testing the streaming site, so no promises on this part ! INFO ON STREAMING (UPDATED): hey guys so i overestimated my laptops capability to handle streaming 😭 i couldn't even draw a single line without the fans going crazy, so i'm gonna have to cancel streaming overall :(( hopefully one day when i get a pc, I'll be able to stream! but for now as a compromise i'll be recording the drawing process and then posting it! sorry again for not being able to pull through on the streaming stuff.

before sending requests, PLEASE READ the rules down below! otherwise i won't accept your request!

DETAILS BELOW!

rules:

no anons and please only send your request ONCE so everyone has a chance to request art! if you want to remain anonymous, just let me know in the message and i'll be sure to post the art with your request and block out your username + profile!

no nsfw + furry + mecha- big fan of them, its just unfortunate that i don't have a lot of energy and these pieces take a lot of my energy to make!

maximum 3 characters at a time!

not really a rule but a strong recommendation: if you want me to draw your oc/pc, pls send as much ref pics as you can! that way i can draw your babies to the best of my ability!

there's a counter on this post on how many requests i'm still accepting. i will possible add onto this post if i want to refresh that counter and accept more requests!

the list will probably grow as the event goes on, so please keep an eye out on updates in case i rebump this post a few times!

Finally: if you've read all of the rules and are ready to request some art, be sure to mention the phrase 'Lightswitch', in your request! That way I'd know you've read all the rules. (Requests that don't have this phrase will be deleted).

[tonycries]

girl im sorry but your tile for your new fic name is giving me remember “long overdue”.Genshin Impact remeber 😭 (yelean user here 🙂‍↕️) NO HATE I LOVE THE TITLE 😊 but god the genshin in me NEED TO BE LET OUT

Hihiii lovely ahaha I don't play Genshin (downloaded it ONCE and almost passed out when I saw how large the update package was 😰) but it's so cool that there's a lil' reference there!!

I just based the title off of that one song Overdue by Russ 😋

[asillylittlefish]

Intro post

lmao this is long overdue,,,,, anyways

Hi! my name is fish or sillyfish idc

i am a writer and an artist and this is basically my only active social media (the long forgotten insta i share with a friend will be missed lol) aside from my ao3, which you can find right here! just a disclaimer, i recently changed all my fanfics to archive locked, due to the data scraping thats been going on recently, so if you don't have an account, im sorry :/

anyways, uuuuh yeah, i used to do mainly ninjago stuff, but as of now, im in the dsmp fandom again, the sbi corner specifically (i thrive for found family and nothing else has been able to satisfy my hunger for it aside from sbi)

as for other fandoms you will probably meet here, as i said, ninjago, dsmp, uhhh maybe haikyuu, i will be posting about my friends robin hood au at some point probably, i have an original story i might start posting about,,,, uh yeah, thats the big stuff i guess?

ill be posting randomly on here, art and random ass thoughts and ill probably start posting fic updates here or smth, we will see

[sebbianas]

okay this is way overdue sorry i got stressed !!

BUT BUT BUT THE UPDATE LETS CHAT

the tweets… were… EVERYTHING i love getting glimpses into their lives and how they interact with their fans and peter continues to slay so monumentally

!! reg being nervous and immediately feeling better when he starts talking to james !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

“i’m sure mr potter is an excellent kisser but please don’t forget the script” AHH REG PLEASE THAT IS SO EMBARRASSING (i understand but STILL, my boy, pull it together)

much love seb

EYYYYY!!

tweets from the fans are my favorite because i love establishing that the marauders have a close relationship with their fans and that their fans genuinely love them

i am a sucker for james being reg’s rock okay i love them that way

if minnie says that to me im burying myself

SO MUCH LOVE FOR YIU TOO 🫶🫶