#this turned into a diary my bad to my 20 followers

[heavy-buddy]

saw the tags to a post I made a while back while scrolling through my blog

What the fuck?

[witchesverse]

girlfriend killer.

pairing: dark!agatha x fem!reader

summary/request: I don’t know if you are accepting request but if you are I have an idea for Agatha Harkness and R… AU where R has had horrible luck in love. Every partners R has dies. R always finds comfort in her friend and neighbor, Agatha. R has no idea Agatha is killing R’s partners so that no one will ever take R away from Agatha..

content: noncon, mention and small descriptive of murder, mention of stabbing, mention of drowning in bleach, heavy manipulation, HEAVY TOPICS, funerals, mention of missing people, cum eating, pussy eating, strap-on sex, small mommy kink, knife play, crying, cum-filled strap, tummy bulges, humiliation, kidnapping, cutting.

a/n: this is honestly the darkest fic i've ever written and i loved writing it. (shoutout to @beggingforyours for being my assistant in writing this)

masterlist

You sniffled and wiped at your nose as tears stained your cheeks. You held a small rose bouquet; they were her favourite flowers. You were surprised that you were able to hold your sobs back as they lowered your late girlfriend into the ground.

"Come here, dear."

Your neighbour, Agatha held her hand out for you. You buried your face in her neck and cried. She held you and rubbed circles on your back.

For the past few years, you have had horrible luck with love. All of your partners have passed away in tragic accidents or have gone missing. This was the fourth girlfriend that you have attended a funeral for, and you don't know how much more you can take.

Without Agatha, you don't know if you would still be here. She has nursed you back to health after each funeral. Your friends would tell you Agatha was creepy and weird, but Agatha was your rock.

"Shall we go back to my place?" Agatha whispered.

Whilst still sobbing, you nodded.

-

It had been two weeks since the funeral and you hadn't left Agatha's house once. You had no reason to with how good Agatha cared for you.

Occasionally, Agatha had to leave for work reasons which left you alone in her house for a few hours. Agatha had one rule at her house.

Do not enter her basement.

It was an easy rule to follow. Half the time you forget the basement existed. But waiting for her to arrive back home got boring, so curiosity struck.

The wooden steps creaked underneath your steps, making you cringe each time. You dragged your hand across the wall, silently triumphing once you found the light switch and turned it on.

The basement looked normal. A large desk was at one side of the room and was covered with books and papers, and red paint splattered on the floor.

You didn't know Agatha enjoyed art.

A frown settled across your face when you noticed the weapons around the room. There must have been at least 20 different weapons. You guessed she enjoyed collecting them.

You looked at the papers and books on her desk, recognising a few titles but a diary caught your eye. You know it's bad to look at someone's diary but you couldn't help it.

Entry 42: Murder #4 I killed Darcy Lewis with a Zombie knife. The blade perfectly pierced her skin and ripped it up as I pulled it out. I smile remembering her screams for help and her promises to leave Y/n alone. Once she was weak, I held her head under bleach-

You slammed the diary closed and grasped onto the table. You felt like you were going to puke. You covered your mouth with your hand and cried.

Agatha Harkness was a fucking murderer.

She had murdered Darcy, the girlfriend who you had just buried two weeks ago, and she had comforted you through it. Darcy's body was never found, but if you continued reading, you were positive you would know where it was.

Darcy promising to leave you alone made questions swirl in your head.

Why did she say that? Is Agatha targeting your lovers? Did Agatha kill your other girlfriends? Why you?

You had to tell the police. You grabbed Agatha's diary and searched for anything else that could be evidence.

Loud claps rang throughout the basement and you froze.

"It looks like we have a little rule breaker, isn't that right, hon?"

Agatha stood at the bottom of the staircase and looked at you with an amused smile. She balanced a small knife between her fingers.

You swallowed, trying to find your voice.

"Y-You fucking killed her." You shrieked.

Agatha shrugged.

"Did you kill the others?" You asked but shook your head after "No. No, don't tell me. Just get out of my way so I can tell the police and get your insane ass in jail."

Agatha's eyes narrowed, her amused expression disappearing. You shuffled backwards as she stalked closer.

"Oh no, baby." She tsked "That's not how you talk to mommy."

A wave of confidence washed over you and you ran. You didn't get far. Her hand reached out and grabbed onto your hair, yanking you into her. Her diary flew out of your hands and you pushed away from her.

Agatha was stronger than you and kept her hold. She forced you on your knees and held the tip of her knife underneath your chin to keep your head up. Her grasp on your hair was painful.

"Why?" You cried.

Agatha rolled her eyes, "Those bitches weren't good enough for you so I had to remove them."

"You don't get to decide what is good-"

Her knife nicked your cheek as she slapped you. The unexpected slap shocked you and you didn't know how to reply.

"But I do get to decide."

She roughly pulled you to your feet and shoved you into the table. You grunted as your front collided with wood. Agatha pinned you down with one hand and held her knife in the other.

"Don't move unless you want to be cut."

You couldn't control your tears and cries.

Agatha used her knife to cut a hole in your pants, revealing your panties to her. She placed her knife on the table. She pushed your panties to the side and groaned at the sight of your bare cunt.

You held back a sob as her fingers dragged through your slick. She moaned at the taste of you on her fingers. She lowered her face to your cunt and licked a stripe up it.

Her moans caused vibrations and you shivered against her.

She pulled away from you and you heard her taking her pants off. There was the click of something opening and closing, and then you felt the head of a cold, lubed strap pushing into you.

"Please, Agatha." You sniffled, "Don't do this."

Agatha grabbed a fistful of your hair and shoved your face into the table, "Shut up and take it."

Her strap easily pushed into you. You cried as the stretch burned and your walls clung to her. She slowly pumped into you, thankfully letting you adjust before her speed increased.

The basement was filled with your moans, your skin slapping together and the wet noises your cunt made.

Agatha pulled you up into her chest, her hand finding its way around your throat and fingers twisting and tugging at your nipples. You moaned loudly and your head fell onto her shoulder. Agatha kissed your neck before sucking and licking at it.

Her hands rested on your tummy, "You feel that? That's how deep my dick is."

You whimpered.

Agatha started to softly moan and grunt in your ear, and you knew you were both getting close. She dug her fingernails into you, carving crescent-moon marks into your skin.

Agatha moaned loudly and forced you back onto the table. You felt warm liquid squirt inside of you, which pushed you over the edge into your orgasm.

Your head went blank and you pressed yourself into Agatha's strap until you came down from your high. You couldn't deny that orgasm was one of the best orgasms you had ever had.

Agatha turned your body around and pulled her strap out. She wrapped her arms around your legs and licked at you, cleaning you up.

You softly cried at the realisation of everything.

Your sweet, perfect neighbour has been murdering your partners for years and she had just fucked you in the same room she killed them in.

What's going to happen to you?

[hayw1res]

stubborn princess and the silent knight.. !

a/n: ive been writing this for a month like guys life has been… life okay. ill do the kinktober list….. maybe soon . this isnt proofread and its kinda fast paced? idk guyys

warnings: drinking , kissing , “secret identity” , nothing 18+ yet folks

pairing: knight! megumi x princess! reader

you hated it, oh how you hated your father - the king, your mother - the queen, you even hated the maids and various servants who called upon you to serve your every beck and call. you hated it all, but you loved looking from your terrance down to the knights in training, the boy with jet black hair and a scowl on his perfect face.. oh how you loved to think of him while you swooned over the side of the balcony, clutching your chest in hopes he didnt see you staring so intently. the way he sparred with almost little effort put into the fight, the way his sword always glistened from his upkeep, the way hed wipe the sweat from his brow, but constantly ask to continue fighting.

oh everything about him was just so dreamy.. you'd write in your diary about him. about your fantasies.. about how you wished to be together one day - for him to teach you the way of the sword and for you to tend to his wounds when he ever gotten hurt.. you ached for just a sentence to fall from his pretty lips, just for one day call you his own.. to call you his princess.

your fantasy cut short when your father called you down for supper, he wasn't a bad man, he was no tyrant.. but you fell victim to his expectations. you were nearing 20 , unmarried and still unwilling to court- your parents started to grow impatient..almost everyday a new prince from a "far away kingdom" would trot his was to your throne to ask your hand in marriage, each answer stayed the same... a big fat no.

"my dear.. the prince of homsworth would make a fine husband would he not?

your father spoke, it broke you from your daydream.

"father, i dont need to wed yet.. besides wouldn't you rather i fall in love? have a man swoop me off my feet rather than settle for the next prince up.." you muttered the last part to yourself, your mother clearing her throat after you

"me and your father courted young- we didnt know it then but we were in love.. how shall you know love if you never experience it-" she went on and on, during about responsibility and what a good princess should act like... this talk again, always on and on about how a princess shall act - how a princess shall talk - how she shall dress.. all of it went through one ear and out the other.

supper always went this way, they argue and dispute about your unwillingness to marry, you tell them no and finish dinner, then you run away to your room and rest the night away.. you were used to this song and dance already- you lived the same day over and over again without fail.. it was tiresome. just as you were about to place your napkin on the table and push your chair away to excuse yourself, your father stopped you.

"ive arranged something, darling.. an escort. we are worried about you" he says kindly as he motions for one if the knights to step forward, dawned in nothing but chainmail and metallic clothing, the knight bows to you.

"he. is your personal knight. for your safety and for my own concern of you... sneaking out at night." the king adds on, your mother nodding in agreement. sneaking out? how dare they assume you of such low standard.. you may hate the constant reminder but - you still were a princess.. the future ruler of this kingdom.

"id never. you say with a scoff, standing up to excuse yourself, forgetting you now be followed by silent footsteps. they followed you from the grand hall, to the corridor, to the entrance of your bedroom. you huff and turn around, the idea of the knight following you everywhere both annoyed and excited you.. yes you hated the idea of not being able to sneak out anymore— but a knight? Your knight, that did anything you’d ask him to..

You sat and pondered at the door, awkwardly asking him if he were to follow you to your bedroom or stay out here- and much to your surprise the silent man turned to stand guard at your large double doors. You couldn’t help but think..when did he rest? when did he eat? when did he have time to do.. anything? so many questions remained unanswered as your infatuation grew- mixed with the curiosity of who was under that mask.. you hoped it was the boy with the jet black hair.

“well.. goodnight” you spoke quietly , receiving only a nod in return.

that started you nightly routine for months.

each and everyday he would follow you around, do small tasks you asked of him, and everynight he would stand guard outside your doors. you wondered if he enjoyed this or secretly hated you.. you wondered if you were even kind enough to him for him to enjoy his job.

“oh well..” you whisper to yourself at night as you covered your body with the thick blankets given to you from the maidens.. winter was coming fast.

the next morning you received notice that your knight would be gone for the day, apparently he was leading some other younger recruits in training, so you had a replacement ! he was much more.. talkative than what youre used to. you thought it was fun, speaking to him almost all day.

his name was yuji , he apparently been training here for years and is on the same rank as your knight which you learn is named megumi.

“megumi has always been like that, quiet i mean.. its not because he hates you he just takes a while opening up!” yuji heard all about it, he wanted you guys to be buddies. especially because he wanted to secretly also be buddies with the princess, but that was besides the point.

“im sure if you keep being kind to him, eventually he will start talking —maybe talk about his interests ! i think its just fighting though.. occasionally ill see him writing in a little journal too!” yuji exclaimed excitedly , you nod.. maybe that’s exactly what you’ll do.

the next few days went by quickly, you and yuji became a bit closer and your father started to slowly stop asking you about marriage since every single time you just ignore him or say “no” . today was the day megumi came back from training , unfortunately that meant yuji went back to his usual schedule but that didnt mean you couldn’t visit him!

megumi was stoic as always, standing beside you as you walked down the halls of your castle.. you sigh as you turn to look at him.. he still had that damn helmet on.

“I heard from Yuji that your name is Megumi.. is that true?” You ask , a basket in your arm as you prepared to go to the garden

megumi could only hum, at least you got that out of him..

“right.. you know my name of course. i didnt take yuji to be such a talker, i thought all you knights were strong silent types”

before you could reach for the door he already opened it for you, leading out to the large greenhouse you kept.. you smile and walk ahead of him.

the sun was bright today, though it was approaching winter it seemed the winds were lower .. a moderate temperature. you walked into the greenhouse and started to tend to your plants, picking off a few you wanted to add to the pots around the castle

“so.. do you do anything other than this?” you ask, trying to get the silent man to open up. he stays silent for a while.

“.. i enjoy sparring” he says finally, the deep rumble in his voice almost makes you crumble. you giggle at the answer.. of course he would enjoy something like that.

“right.. i see you guys usually from my balcony. it seems a bit harsh.. but i get it for practice” you continue picking flowers until the basket is full, turning back to the knight

“its a wonderful day outside.. shame we have to stay indoors and miss the festival.” you catch him off guard, a princess such as yourself being interested in the commoners dance? he and yuji participated often, mainly because yuji enjoyed them most of all.. megumi only went to make sure yuji didnt do anything stupid. the knight let out a hum, a noise that almost startled you.

“sounds like you don’t believe me.. didnt father tell you why you are hired in the first place..?” You chuckle, picking up the basket of flowers .. he knew of the mischief you got up to at night.. he knew you would sneak out your bedroom window in a gown to fit in while you danced and drank with the common folk. he knew this all because you intrigued him.. from the moment he seen you watching his training on the balcony.

“.. yes” he said simply, following behind you back to your room as the sun began to set. you were surprised he said anything.. his deep but smooth voice almost made you melt

“i know you leave the castle often.. you come back smelling of booze but you look- happy almost..” he continued until you both reached the doors to your room.

“then..?” you turn to him, expecting him to just shut you down and make you go to bed.. but something about his demeanor today.

“then.. i hope you dont get hurt” he says under his breath, almost a silent way of telling you to enjoy yourself, of course he would be watching you all night anyways. he always did when you went out.. always.

the night progressed as usual, you went to your room and he guarded your door..except tonight was the night of the festival. at a shivering 2 am you dressed in a black gown and climbed out your bedroom window to join in on the festival! there was dancing and singing, chanting of prayers, drinks being passed about every which way, this is what you were missing being stuck in that godawful castle all your life, and now that you were older you were able to enjoy them to the fullest in secret.

you danced, you sang and you drank until you felt your body lighten and you never felt better. you couldn’t help but feel a pair of eyes lingering on you that night.. more than usual at least. you stumble and make your way to the path that lead to a hidden entrance to the castle, one close to your room. you heave as small breaths leave your body.

footsteps trail behind you and you freeze, usually you never had an issue with people following you home or drunkards stumbling on the path, almost always finding a way to slip away undetected. you start to speed up as much as your heels would allow on the rough terrain. you almost fall until a pair of arms catch you, fear washes over you for a second before you hear him.

“Are you alright..” His soft voice hit your ears and you sigh .. that voice again

“Fine…Fine now.” The adrenaline washed over you knowing it was just megumi, his hands felt soft.. you turned to look at him finally, but he wore a mask. go figure i guess.

“I guess.. we go home now?” You say , almost as if you were inviting him- like you don’t live together practically. You begin your walk he was silent for a while, just following you while you make your way to the castle.. going on and on about the festival as if you hadn’t experienced the same things. He didnt care though, he didnt care that you talked so much about your day because he wanted to hear it from your perspective.

The night was young , once you two made it back to the castle and your room..it was like your conversation made time go by faster.. talking to- or rather at him was refreshing. Even if he was just behind a mask.

“Want to just.. come sit inside?”

“..Okay..”

How did those few words end up with the two of you in a dark room, making out like a couple of teenagers? You couldnt tell.. you complimented his mask, almost got him to take it off.. he convinced you maybe its better to turn the lights off and you.. believed him.

Now the two of you sit on your bed, hands roaming eachothers bodies in a hot , steamy , messy makeout session.. tongues clashing in a battle for dominance you were slowly losing. You didnt even care that he were your knight.. you didnt care about anything other than how he felt right about now.

that feeling didnt last forever.. soon the gasping of air filled the area , you wanted more, needed it..

but your eyes shut gently .. you feel sleep taking you away and by the time you wake hes gone..

“ugh.. my head hurts..”

[slvtforasht0n]

Jealousy, jealousy

title inspired by Olivia Rodrigo’s track on Sour

.✦ || Boyfriend!Ash x Reader

.✦ || This is your first time being a stagehand at your boyfriend and his band’s show. Even though you couldn’t watch him perform, a particular interaction between him and a female fan piqued your interest. You couldn’t help but look, ought to see what’s happening. Instead, jealousy gets the better of you once you see what’s really going on, your mood permanently shifted. At least, that’s what it felt like.

A/N: first half is highly based on that one interaction that happened in the 5SOS diaries. forever jealous of that girl lol. anyway, i hope you like what i’ve brought out for you for my first post ever. kinda always wanted a tumblr account to post every idea or blurb i get, but ya girl can be very very lazy sometimes.

inspired to write smut ever since i had wattpad. saying this loud and proud. loved duplicity, stall and malignant so there’s that random fact (turn it up for all the other harries/directioners reading this)

i don’t write that much so i’m still trying to improve wherever i need to. ps. english isn’t my first language, so if you do spot grammer/vocab mistakes, it’s not on me sista, still learning:3 sooo i guess i’ll just finish it off by saying this; sit back, relax and enjoy :^)

CONTENT WARNING: fluff & smut, praise kink, oral (m!receiving), spitting, sliiiight dirty talking

WORD COUNT: 5,2k

────୨ৎ────

As much as you hate your boyfriend in this moment— he wriggled his way to here. His hands all over your frame, reaching to every spot he can find, almost as if his hands have a mind of their own.

His kisses grow more impatient, needy and full of want. Drawing gentle circles against the small strip of bare skin on your back, making you both break the kiss apart with a small gasp.

You weren’t sure of your emotions. Did you want to continue and make him have his way with you? Or did you want to push him away and strangle the living hell out of him?

A faint whimper escapes your lips in between the kiss, his hand traveling down to the heat between your clothed legs. That feeling alone begs to differ. As much as you don’t want to admit to it. You still have that small abhor, but also intense jealousy from what happened prior to all of this.

He breaks the kiss apart, his eyes finding yours. The hazelly green forest almost dispersed into his black pupils, blown out and primed. Fuck… you think to yourself. He looks so provocatively striking, like an erotic sex-god, which is enough to drive you wild— both in a good and a bad way.

“Let me make it up to you, amore mio.” He prompts, his hands finding your waist again to pull you in closer, showing you how induced he is, the want and need inside of him written all over his face.

—

This day has been…chaotic, booked, a haywire of physical and mental exertion that drove you into madness. Almost. You only had a 20 minute break before going back to work, crew following along, five different people guffing into your earpiece that just rubs you the wrong way. Being irritated isn’t even slightly nearing to what you’re actually feeling.

Finally, you walked inside the venue, a moment of calm before the storm. Happy you can let your guard down for another minute or two. You take a deep breath, moving scenery and props along with two other crew members, joining in after your one true moment of silence.

Being a stagehand at a show of your own boyfriend is uncommon, just something you’re not really used to. You’re not sure if you’re able to keep your cool seeing Ashton on stage, beating those drums expertisely, face etched into pure concentration. You always found it to be a work of art, to see your boyfriend practicing at home or somewhere that isn’t on a stage.

But hey, you bite the bullet once it’s showtime, having to face away from the stage, meanwhile he’ll be there to steal the show.

The crew had cued that the band arrived several moments later, and as much as you want to run away to find him, you’re still stuck planning, discussing and arranging tonight’s act.

Hours have passed on and exhaustion seemed to get the better of you. The small gig now filled with a couple of thousands of fangirls, boys, moms, dads, you name it. Two thousand to be exact. You’re not sure if it makes you intrigued, or uncomfortable. Either way, you find yourself lucky you’re not in that crammed crowd.

Playing more intimate, smaller shows was out of the ordinary for the band, something they wouldn’t have done a year ago or two.

The show has started not long after, and your back is facing the stage, eyes on all of these screaming fangirls for their idols in front of them, hands in the air, phones recording, but mainly their loud screams that’s luckily muffled by your in-ears. All you could do is focus on the beat of the drums, imagining his every movement of prowess, how trickles of sweat is already forming on his forehead.

You don’t have it in you not to look, so you do. Just the smallest of sneak-peak. Though, his eyes immediately found yours, like all of his focus was on the back of your head this whole time. Your heart starts to pound faster against your chest, turning your head back to the crowd ahead. Just keep your cool… keep your cool— You have to remind yourself every minute. Or rather every second.

You’re glued to the spot, making sure everyone’s safe and sound. However, there’s a small interaction going on between a fan and… Ashton. His voice being heard through the microphone gives you some sort of solace, your focal point on every pronunciation and syllable on the words that falls from his lips.

This particular interaction is focused on the fan’s cardboard sign, stipulating that it’s her twenty first birthday and now legal to drink, suggesting Ashton a shot. They expeditiously agree and brought the stunned girl up stage. Your eyes followed hers, turning around to look at the stage ahead. You didn’t have the heart in you to dismiss this and act like nothing’s going on.

Ashton’s change of demeanour, presence next to this fan, and just the overall vibes he’s got going on throws you right off the wall. It’s like he’s throwing her a curveball of coy behaviour, something that doesn’t sit right with you. It’s either that or you’re overthinking it. But then again, you might not be, especially having your eyes glued on him right now, watching him unfold into someone he’s not.

You hate it. You hated every second of it, watching the scene ahead. She gets to be the one giving your sweaty boyfriend a hug, a prolonged hug. Sharing a shot, looking into his eyes- him looking into her eyes. It’s like hot steams are blowing out of your ears by how much you hate seeing this with your own eyes. If it were possible, you’d throw Ashton’s drum kit right to his head out of spite and anger. You can’t believe him.

You’re definitely not overthinking, since you’ve picked up on him being ‘the man of the show’. Trying to seem more charming and appealing, in all the wrong ways. You know he loves getting this type of attention, boosts his ego in the wrong way and you’d love to just kick him right in the nuts.

Once the show’s over, you’re finally in your own privacy, changing your uniform to your day to day outerwear. A knock is heard on the door, catching you out of your hazy thoughts, while also feeling jealous and incensed. You open the door and you’re immediately knocked down with a feather.

“What are you doing here?” you utter, laced in a grim tone, not expecting to see his cheery face. Ashton stands in front of you, eyebrows raised by your surprising outburst.

“Checking in on my girlfriend. What else would I be doing?” He responds nonchalantly, entering the small room without needing to ask for permission. Of course he wouldn’t.

He runs a hand through his damp curls, looking around the room before looking back to you. It’s like he struggles to read you and why you’re not responding to him, why you’re facing away from him. “Hey…” He starts off, walking up to you and placing his hands on your waist, making you turn around to face him.

You push his hands off your body almost immediately, his eyes on stalks. “Baby, what’s wrong?” he counters, his eyes searching yours.

The more he acts this oblivious, the more you want to give into the idea of kicking him in the nuts and walking out of this room. You decide to just tell him before he’s going for the the well known question ‘are you on your period?’.

“The fuck was that up stage?” you angrily mutter, crossing your arms over your chest.

He seems confused, which is one more reason to be angry at him. How can he be so painfully heedless? You desperately need to just knock some sense into that thick skull of his.

“What?” he raises his arms in an ‘I don’t know what you’re talking about’ motion.

“Oh, so now you’ve got memory loss? Great.” you roll your eyes, facing the other way instead of him. Again. How can a human being manage to piss you off this much? It’s inane.

“Amore… tell me.” He waits for you to say something, anything at all, but all you do is stand there and glare, causing him to take a step closer to you. “Was it the girl who I did a shot with?”

Bingo.

You can’t help but roll your eyes again, as if it wasn’t that obvious why you’d be mad at him about that in the first place.

“Oh come on… Nothing happened, alright? Just did her a favour and probably made her whole night.”

“Yeah, right.” You bite back immediately, not buying any of the bullshit he’s spitting. You can’t even look him in the eyes. You’re deranged in anger, but also so confused and hurt. He’d never gone this close to a girl before in all the months you’ve been dating, so he surely needs to understand why you’re acting the way you are.

“Why are you making a big deal out of this?” he murmurs, managing to boil your blood to the point you could burn anything you touch into ashes.

“Are you kidding me, Ash?” you poss in vexation, glaring through his soul. Words can’t express how tense you’re getting and how much you want to wipe that foolish smirk off his face.

“Babe, you can’t be serious, can you?” He sneers, his eyes giving you a once over. You only let out a frustrated sigh, turning your back to him a third time.

You don’t know what he deserves more, a sucker punch right to his jaw or the infamous silent treatment. Maybe both could give him a well-earned reality check.

“Are you seriously mad about some measly fucking interaction? Really, Y/N?” he huffs, seeming more annoyed than amused this time. Which makes you, on the other hand, infuriated by even more rage.

The way he acts so unbothered is insufferable. You turn on your heel, facing him, an angry etched expression on your face he certainly can’t dismiss now. “You were flirting with her, you ass! Right in front of me!” You bark back, sick of his apathetic state. Just utterly sick of him.

“I wasn’t, Y/N! Why would you even think that?” he retorts, his obliviousness turning into annoyance, his arms now crossed over his chest as well.

You don’t respond, only letting out a spiteful scoff, shaking your head in disbelief.

“I really don’t see what’s wrong here. You have no reason to be mad at me. None.” he mutters, which is just the cherry on the cake, isn’t it? You let out another angry huff before turning on your heel and leaving him in the room, despite it being yours.

However, you’re not as quick as you thought you were as he catches your wrist, wrapping his hand around it and pulling you closer to him.

“Don’t run away from me, baby. None of that bullshit. Talk it out with me, curse me out, just don’t ever shut me out, okay?” he calmly explains, his eyes trained on yours with his eyebrows creased together in concentration on you. Only you. You take a deep breath, flicking your eyes in between his.

“Why were you flirting with that girl?” you ask after a long pause, your eyes focusing on that one curl that fell on his forehead.

“I wasn’t.” He responds, and it just made you feel even more obscured from this ridiculous situation that brought tension between you two.

You’re starting to think you might be overdoing it. Might be a bit of the jealous kind and just making this ought to paint you to be dramatic.

“Is that all you have to say?” you mask getting offended by his short, incoherent reply, just by answering repulsively back.

“What more can I say then? You’re making a mountain out of a molehill here.” He crosses his arms again, and it just messes with your head on what type of emotions and feelings are coursing through him. What his thought process is, ‘cause he’s doing everything he can to dismiss the issue. Dismissing your feelings that are as valid as can be. At least that’s what you wanna think.

“Never mind.” You pull away from his grip, sitting down at the nearest couch. You’re done trying to argue to a wall, because that’s the position you feel like you’re in, feeling trapped in a loophole if he continues to act this clueless.

He looks over at you, no remorse whatsoever, and that somehow rises more anger out of you, though you make sure you keep your poker-face. There’s no point anymore if he won’t try to understand you.

“Are ya really just gonna sit there and stare?” he asks. But after a long pause, he just knows there’s not going to be a reply.

“Silent treatment won’t solve anything, love.” he adds, looking at you across the room, his eyebrows furrowed as he runs his hand through his hair again.

“Y/N…Just quit it already, will ya?” he grows more annoyed and impatient by your attitude. However, nothing will make you utter out a word again. Not when he at least attempts to apologise.

“Fuck’s sake, Y/N… I don’t have time for this. I’m sorry, alright? I wasn’t flirting with the girl- would never do that.”

You think to yourself you might have overexaggerated on wanting an attempted apology, cause it just pisses you off even more.

“Talk to me…” he prompts, taking a few steps closer to you.

You don’t respond, and he takes it as some sort of indication to stride closer. He takes your hands in his, pulling you up to your feet and cupping your jaw, making sure you look him in the eyes. “Please?”

You hate him. You hate him so much you’re becoming a tough nut to crack, and he’s fully aware of that. He knows how stubborn and jealous you can get over the smallest things. Still, you don’t know where his mind is.

He pulls you in for a kiss, connecting his lips with yours, catching you by surprise. His hands are trailing down your body and reposing on your waist, pulling you closer than before.

If this is how he ventures his way out to say sorry to you, when you can’t take it as a simple word, you’re not…entirely against it.

You stare profoundly into his eyes after he breaks the kiss, his eyes searching yours—But your feelings are very conflicting. You so want to give in, but you’re still mad. And you still hate him. Well, you’re trying to make yourself hate him.

It feels like it’s been ages since you’ve uttered out a word, but that’s none of your concern as you pull him in for another heated kiss, your hand finding its way through his tousled hair, earning a soft groan on his end. His tongue slips out and swipes at your bottom lip, asking for permission to enter your mouth as you oblige immediately.

He has you fully wrapped around your finger. You can’t even be mad at him anymore, even if it’s play pretend.

His hands are on your waist, but it didn’t take long before one hand slips between your legs, making you instantly weak in the knees.

“Let me make it up to you, amore mio.” replays in your mind over and over when you brought him in for another desperate kiss, pouring out all of your feelings and love for him. The way he said it, the desperation in his voice and his dilated eyes— you can never say no to that. You need him.

You’re a hot mess, letting out huffs of pleasure as he continues to palm you through your jeans, like an attempt to hear you, even if it’s not through articulated words.

He pulls away from your lips, traveling his heated series of kisses down to your pulse-point, eliciting another hot whimper out of you. You’re dazed and all you want is more. More of him. Just more.

He hoists you up, your legs immediately clinging around his hips as he leads you towards the small couch, laying you down and hovering his body over yours.

He’s such a sight for sore eyes, carrying the grace of dawn and the mystery of dusk. Your eyes wandering over every feature of his face, just taking him in. He bites back a smile, his eyes lingering on your chest, then back to your eyes. “Want me to make you feel good, yeah?” his voice is ragged with desire, low and husky that has such a toll on you.

He goes back in for a fervent kiss before you could even respond, pouring out all of his love for you that makes you forget the anger you once had a thousand times more. Your hands wander over his shoulders, all the way down to his hips, pulling him in closer, trapping him in between your thighs and wrapping your legs around his waist.

He lets out a low grunt in between the kiss, his hips grinding against your heat, drawing out another small sound out of you. His hands that has a mind of its own fondling your breasts through the thin material of your shirt, like he couldn’t get enough of you and he physically needs more. You want more of him too, totally entranced by him, the heat of desire pooling in between your legs with an intensified want to have him in ways that’s unrefined. He moves towards the crook of your neck again, marking you up as his.

You’re already impatient as is, your uncoordinated fingers fumbling with his belt, like you can’t stand seeing him in clothes for another wasted second. He lets you, still immersed in marking your neck up, making sure there are angry marks left behind.

Once you’ve found the zipper of his tight jeans, you tug the material down, his hands coming in rescue and helping himself out of his jeans. In an instant, he pulls at the hem of your shirt, dragging the material over your head and throwing it somewhere in the room. Your eyes have wandered off to the door behind him and suddenly you’re too aware that someone could walk in easily.

“Babe… this room has no lock.” you mention, evoking a small smirk on his face. “Don’t you think it’s more fun that way? No one’s gonna come in.” He teases, eyes shamelessly staring at your bra, like he’s trying to smog up the power to disappear things with his mind.

“But-“ he’s quick to pipe you down by a kiss on the lips. “No ‘but’s’, you’re safe with me, amore.”

You pull him back in, sick of prolonging this any longer and seriously needing a good fuck if he’s gonna make it worth the while. If this is his way to at least attempt to apologise, then he better makes it good. Not that he has ever disappointed you in that division.

He hovers over you again, faces inches from yours, his hand snaking under your back to unclasp your bra in what feels like a nanosecond. He pulls the material off your body like it’s some sort of pest- like he’s been wanting it off since the moment he had laid eyes on you. He nips and sucks at your skin, hands exploring every inch of you. He licks a stripe right above your boobs, staring up at you with a well-known grin, eager to have his way with you.

He swipes his tongue over your sensitive nipple, lapping you up and then latching you in between his lips, paying great attention to you with his mouth, suckling and nibbling on your flesh. His other hand wanders to your untended breast, his fingers playing with the other nipple. You let out a soft whimper, already captivated by his fervent skills, your fingers threading through his soft curls.

Your eyes catches his, a sultry grin appearing on his face that has you overdriven with more arousal, more desire for him.

He moves to your other nipple, giving it the same, equal attention, drawing even more sounds and pants out of you.

All you really want is for him to hurry up. Your mind can’t get off of that damned door that has no lock on it, and he’s about to undress you intimately, which has made you apprehensive. He quickly catches on by your stiff demeanour and he lowers himself down, licking a long strip down your bare stomach- trying to make you forget about the door.

You lull your head back, your breath ragged and uneven as you tug at his golden strands tighter than before, earning a low grunt from him. He sure knows how to make you forget about stuff in an instant.

He has his hands on each side of your hips, trailing them towards the button of your black jeans. He works his way to get you out of your clothes, fast and determined, pulling the fabric down your thighs as you help him kick off the material.

“So gorgeous f’me, amore.” he grunts, quickly discarding his shirt off of him, accentuating his perfect, sweaty body to you, the sculputred abs and delicious pecs staring right at you as we speak. You sit up straight on the couch with only the flimsy laced underwear you’re wearing covering three percent of your body at most.

His eyes widen the moment you drop down to your knees in front of him, head-level with the black boxer briefs clung tightly on him. It highlights the swell of his tent that’s covered by the thin material of his Calvin Kleins. Your doe-eyed expression seems to get the better of him, already biting his bottom lip from your sight.

You waste no time, hooking your fingers under the material of his boxers, sliding them down ‘till they drop to his feet. He’s quick when it comes to stepping out of them, eager for you.

You’ve seen him like this before, plenty of times even, but right now— it’s like his arousal is as painful as it seems. His tip an angry shade of pink, pre-cum glazing down to his shaft. His breathing is laboured, his eyes concentrated on you, like he’s trying to moderate himself, keeping everything under control before he snaps.

You wrap your hand around his cock, the smallest of touch already making him hiss in pleasure. With deep shared eye contact, you start to pump him slowly, collecting the pre-cum that’s spilling out of him, whirling it over his tip, eliciting another desperate whimper from his agape lips. His eyebrows are creased, the purity in his eyes completely gone- reciprocated into something more coarse and obscene.

“Baby.. open your mouth.” he demands in a breathier tone, and you instantly oblige. With that, he cups your jaw with both of his large hands, his eyes intensely staring at yours. You don’t know what to expect, but he stars to hover over you, his face significantly closer to yours. He gives you that snarky smirk you know all too well, and then makes sure to lift your jaw a little up higher as he spits into your mouth without caution. Your eyes widen a little, his spit landing right on your tongue.

“Now swallow f’me, amore.” he orders, and you do exactly as he says.

Jesus…even in times like these— he still tastes divine.

His one hand threads through your hair, his other leaving the underside of your chin. “Show me what you’ve got…be my good girl.” he growls, standing up straight. You’re completely gone off guard by this small interaction between you and him, but you quickly shake it off, your trembly hand going back to where it was before.

You lick a strip up over his shaft, swirling your tongue on his tip that has him already writhing for more. You finally take him in your mouth, wrapping your lips sweetly around him and taking him inch by inch, a swall groan leaving his lips in exchange.

You set up a space, sucking him as you wrap your hand around the part that doesn’t fit in your mouth, his hand threading in your hair expeditiously. Low grunts and groans escapes his mouth, totally entranced by your ministrations as he couldn’t help but thrust forward, meeting your pace and rhythm all. He hits the back of your throat at every thrust, tears already brimming in your eyes that eventually seeps down to your cheeks. You couldn’t help but suck him with more precision, eyes deeply concentrated on his breathtaking face.

The desperation and anguish is written all over him, like he couldn’t bear this and needs you in ways where it’s humanly impossible to describe. Sweat already trickles over his forehead, eyes pleading for you, in a way that makes you believe his pupils are contorted into spelling your name- his want like a screeching howl that blares through your eardrums.

In a quick motion, he pulls out of you and you take your time to catch your breath, heaving them out like you’ve ran a marathon, quickly wiping your mouth with the back of your hand. He pulls you to your feet, hands on your hips and instantly pushing you backwards on the couch as your back hits the cushions, laying flat on the surface. Hovering over you, he delicately scans his eyes over your whole frame, taking in every detail from your tousled hair to your almost naked self. He traps himself in between your spread out legs, his length making contact with your lower abdomen, causing a shiver to run down your spine.

His arms are on each side of you, a few strands of his curls hanging over his forehead. “Need to fuck you, baby. Need you right now.” He murmurs, his voice hoarse and his tone laced in pure lust.

You bite your bottom lip as he positions you, hands firmly grasping your hips in desperation. “Please…” You utter out, the only thing your lips can form as a sole word, while your mind is going a million miles an hour with how much you have to say.

The warmth of his palms are soon replaced by the cool air hitting your hips, his hands sliding down to your thighs as his fingers prudently play with the lace of your underwear. “So beautiful…” He murmurs in almost a whisper. “I only have eyes for you, you know that right?” He adds, his eyes searching yours.

You nod, examining him. “I know...” you reply in a soft mumble and his lips quirk up in a lopsided smile.

You glance down his body, and the sight alone has you as weak as water. He pumps himself a few times, eyes still trained on yours. He pulls at the laced material of your panties, prodding his length right under the fabric as he teasingly begins to rub himself against you. You let out a stifled moan, eyebrows creased upwards in simple pleasure. He’s fervent with you, fastening his pace ever so slightly that drives you insane. “So wet f’me, yeah?” he grunts, leaning down to capture your lips in a passionate kiss.

Your soft moans are muffled in between the kiss as his hand that rested on your hip is now gripping your thigh, quickly hooking it over his shoulder. He positions himself at your entrance, gliding himself inside you fervently with your panties now pushed aside. A soft gasp escapes your throat, head already lulled back by how full he’s making you feel once he’s fully inside. After making sure you adjust to him, he begins to set up a slow pace, hovering over your body even closer as this new profound feeling intensifies, hitting you in all the right places.

“So fucking pretty for me, baby… Let me hear you, yeah? Moan f’me…” he praises, and all you could do in response to that is grow louder- despite still being in a semi-public setting. There’s a small chance someone could walk in, or even hear you through the door, but your mind is elsewhere. It’s on him, totally engulfed in pleasure he gives you.

“Taking me so well…” He pants, heaving out breaths as his thrusts start to become rougher, dragging out more moans out of you. “So good for me, aren’t you? Gonna fill you up so well...” He continues, his hands trailing over every inch of your body, fingers lightly pinching at your nipples, eliciting another whimpery moan from your lips.

He continues to thrust into you deliciously, hooking your other leg over his other shoulder, this newfound angle hitting your sweet spot delightfully over and over again. Moans spill out of you in an overwhelming sensation, that’s probably music to his ears by the way he’s thoroughly captivated by you.

His own moans fall from his lips once your hips buck up to match his rhythm of his thrusts. “I’m so close...” you heave out, eyes rolling to the back of your head. He takes this as a sign to fuck you harder. Rougher. Like he wants to break you in half.

He adds his thumb to your sensitive clit, drawing out louder moans, that has no way of becoming less when it’s only pitching up higher in decibels. “You’re so fucking hot, baby…So perfect.” he praises you, totally wrapped up in utter pleasure, the slapping sounds of skin on skin echoing through the room.

“Please…” you plead in a high whimper, not really sure why, but you’re completely overdriven in ecstasy, his thumb on your sensitivity never leaving you which adds to more pleasure, egging you on.

“Yeah, amore mio? Gonna give it to me, aren’t you? Show me… Show me how good I make you feel.” he groans completely out of breath, his chest glistening with his own sweat. He leans down, folding you in half like a damned pretzel, hitting you even deeper than before. He nips on the skin at the crook of your neck, humming against you.

“Making me feel so good…” he murmurs against your skin, his thrusts piercing more moans out of you, knowing how much you enjoy his rough side.

The bubbling feeling inside your lower abdomen intensifies by the minute, exhibiting that you’re nearing the finish line. He knows by your desperate pants and graphic sounds as he strives to get you to the pinnacle point of pleasure, picking up on his thrusts, fucking you harder against the cushions with fervor.

Your brain starts to feel like scrambled eggs, moving from left to right in a stirring pan as his lips finds yours in a sweet quick kiss, pulling away to look at you. His hands grip your waist as tight as ever, definitely leaving a mark behind. His whimpers like a melody you can never get sick of, no matter how many times you’re willing to repeat the same tune.

A few more thrusts in and you hear the familiar ringing in your ears as you near the edge completely, your climax washing over you like a tidal wave. You scream out his name in the process, clenching sweetly around him as he follows right behind you and finishes, trails of curse words falling from his lips in heavy grunts—filling you with his cum.

He unhooks your legs from his shoulders, pulling out of you with a small gasp. He crashes down next to you, heaving out hefty breaths. He wraps an arm around your shoulder, keeping you close to his glistening body. “See? You’re safe with me, just like I told you.” he breathes, letting out a soft chuckle.

You turn your face to look at him, a genuine smile formed on your lips, despite being completely out of breath. “Mmmh, never said you were wrong.”

He chuckles in response, planting a sweet kiss to your temple. “You felt incredible baby, definitely needed this after the show.”

You smile, all the anger and jealousy from before completely wiped off of you. “I always do.” you counter with a smug grin, giving him a bit of a tease.

“A win-win situation for me, eh?” He eyes you, eyebrows raised with a cheeky smile. You laugh, shaking your head. “Definitely.” You agree, a small giggle followed after.

“So… I take it that you’re not mad at me anymore?” He asks, his voice laced in a sincere tone.

You had almost forgotten about how immensely infuriated you were before this happened. “I forgive you.” you murmur, glancing at him.

“I mean it when I told you I only have eyes for you.” he utters, pulling you even closer than before, pecking the top of your head.

This was definitely a way to end the night, after a very small gig took place and how the man of your dreams next to you can have you riled up in anger as well as desire in the span of two seconds. You’re not complaining about it at all. You wouldn’t have him any other way— even if it means all the ups and downs that comes with it.

————

[ninigummysmile]

𝐃𝐞𝐚𝐫 𝐝𝐢𝐚𝐫𝐲 - 𝐑𝐨𝐬𝐞́

Summary: Everyone thinks Rosé is naive, but you discover that she's not so innocent when you read her diary

Sub!Rosé x Dom!Fem!Reader

Category: Smut

Warning: This story contains +18 content. It is not the responsibility of the author if minors read it.

Important: English is not my first language so, please, forgive me if there are any mistakes

Words: 1.700

You are not one of the most studious students, who gets the highest grades and who manages to answer all the exercises. But you don't do too badly either, you have relatively good grades, an average student and you do what you can to pass the year.

That's why you're not in Rosé's circle of friends. She is an exceptional student, who gets top marks in all subjects and is always praised by teachers as an example to be followed.

You've watched her from afar and like everyone else, you can deduce that she's a sweet, kind girl who tries to help however she can. And that's why there are people who take advantage of her, leaving her with a reputation for being naive and trusting others very easily.

Do you really believe that she is the exception to "the quiet ones are the worst", because as someone who doesn't go to parties, just studies and dedicates herself to it and usually doesn't react to certain mean jokes made in class can have a polluted mind?

You snap out of your daydream when the bell rings and slowly start to pack up your stuff, briefly saying goodbye to your friends, you get up and sling your bag over your back when you spot a small book under a chair. It probably fell when someone was putting his stuff away and didn't notice it missing.

You pick up the little book and on the first page it says “This diary belongs to Rosé ” in a pink glitter pen.

Thinking it disrespectful to pry into someone's life in this way, you keep the diary with the intention of returning it first thing tomorrow morning.

During the afternoon you tried everything in your power to forget about the damn diary kept in your backpack. What could be more in those pages? Probably just reports of what her days are like and important memories she doesn't want to forget...

You know you'll be invading her privacy if you read something that personal, and you feel bad just imagining yourself reading it. But you were always so curious, stubborn and that when you want something you go to the end. You decide that you will only read the first few pages with the certainty that there will be nothing dark and if you start reading something too intimate, you will stop immediately.

You place the diary on top of your bed and after long minutes staring at the cover, you open it again to the first page and read the small name again. “Rosé”. You're about to learn things about a classmate that you've never seen speak openly about herself to others.

Turning to the second page, the title “Thought 23” appears large. You realize that this must be the second version of a diary. In cursive it reads:

“Today she was biting the top of her pen while she was concentrating on paying attention in class and I couldn't help but imagine that same mouth biting my nipples.”

You stop for a second wide-eyed and trying to decipher if that's what you just read. Does Rosé, the innocent, sweet, kind girl just write that kind of thing when no one is around?

Your eyes automatically return to the paragraph and continue:

“With your hands trailing all over my body while your mouth plays with my breasts. I already imagined her beautiful lips on all parts of my body, especially on my pussy, but I can't deny that the sight of her swallowing my breasts must be magnificent.”

You swallow hard. So Rosé imagines herself with another girl? And it's not just thoughts, to begin with there are more than 20 and for her to write, they are more than imaginations, it's a desire that she unconsciously wants to really happen.

On the third page, a new title, “Thought 24” occupies the first lines.

“Y/n. It's all that occupies my mind. Y/n, Y/n and Y/n.”

That's what you read? Does Rosé think of you? Is the diary about you? Are these imaginations all about you?

“Y/n, who has a pretty face when she's trying to solve an exercise and I wonder if that's the same look she has when she's about to come. With her furrowed brows and a little pout that makes me want to kiss it away.”

Your breathing quickens and you are momentarily dizzy, absorbing that the diary concerns you. The book is not all complete, looking for the last filled page, you find “Thought 32”. You ponder whether from the beginning this is about you or what page it started from.

After reading everything, you don't know how you're going to return the lost diary, you don't even know if you can look her in the eyes and pretend you don't know anything.

The next morning, you hope to find the blonde hair in the hall before you enter the classroom because that way it will be less embarrassing. You catch them from afar and when she approaches you say “good morning”.

“Good morning” she replies with the same shyness as always and staring at the floor.

“Can we talk?” she nods and you walk into a room that you know won't be used during that time of day. You take the diary out of your bag and hold out your hand for her to take. “I found it yesterday under your chair, I believe it fell and you didn’t notice”

You can see her cheeks flush and her hands grab the material quickly putting it inside her bag. “You read?” her voice is weak and full of shame.

“No” you reply and take a deep breath. “Yes, I read it” you confess. “I'm sorry, I know I shouldn't have, but my curiosity increased tenfold when I found out it was a diary!"

She doesn't know what to say, she just wants a big hole to form around her and swallow her whole. She mentally already makes plans to change schools and not need to look at you ever again. Maybe she'll even move out of town.

“You know…” you break the silence. “When I read all of this stuff you write about me, I couldn't deny how wet I was. I didn't know these thoughts would make me so excited”

You can see by her face that her mind is completely blank and you can't hold back a little laugh. “C’mon, baby. You're not going to play innocent now, are you? This same person standing here in front of me is the same person who wrote so many impure thoughts about me”

“I didn't think you'd ever know about all this” she says quietly, but you can hear her.

“But now I know. So, just ask me, your wish can come true”

“Serious?” you smile, she is very cute.

“All you ever had to do was ask me. You don't know it, but you always had me in the palm of your hand” you tuck a lock of hair behind her ear and slowly your lips meet. What started out as a gentle kiss quickly turns into a fierce and battle for dominance.

You separate with shortness of breath and you command “sit at the table”. She obeys and opens her legs for you to position yourself between them.

The buttons on her uniform are undone one by one and the fabric slides down her arms, your hands deftly unclasping her bra. “Is this how you imagined it?” you ask before biting down on one of her nipples and she throws her head back.

Trying to put as much of her breast in your mouth as possible, your hand that was playing with the other one starts to explore and slide over her body, exactly as described in the diary.

You make her lie down on the cold table and unzip her skirt, tossing it beside your feet. You see her stain marking her wet panties and without a second thought, your tongue licks her entrance over the thin fabric. She tries to suppress her moans by biting her hand, but you can still hear her whimpers as you circle her bundle of nerves.

You remove her panties and almost groan at the beautiful sight. “That's the most beautiful fucking pussy I've ever seen in my life”

Rosé can swear this is just another one of her dreams and that when she wakes up she'll have to relieve herself, but when your tongue teases her clit and her eyes roll back deliciously, she's sure this is really happening.

You can swear that you would spend hours eating her out, in all possible positions. She tastes sweet, her swollen clit makes you want to devour it, and her beautiful, tight hole contracting around nothing makes you want to make her come over and over again just to see her contracting around air, just asking for something to fill it more and more.

You insert two fingers and they are swallowed by her soft and tight walls. The sound it makes when you move them in and out is pornographic and addictive.

Your mouth goes back to sucking on the bundle of nerves and you're determined to make this the best orgasm she's ever had.

Her legs begin to shake violently and when her eyes slam shut, you know your reward is coming. When her juice comes into contact with your fingers, you help her through orgasm before pulling them out and cleaning them with all the thirst in the world. Her pussy twitching, begging to be filled again, almost makes you come back with your fingers, but you settle for cleaning it with your mouth, knowing she must be overstimulated.

You bite and mark her thigh as her breathing returns to normal and she can come back to reality.

“There you are” you comment helping her to sit down.

“That was amazing”

“Yeah? How did you imagine?”

“Even better” she says and you smile.

“Good, because you can expect more like these. I want to make every page of that a fact and not just a thought” you wink and help get her clothes back on.

[snowlessknitter]

“Please, Blanche! Sidney Sheldon tells shorter stories!”

— Dorothy Zbornak, “Blanche and the Younger Man”

Time for another edition of “Snowlessknitter Explains the Golden Girls Joke”!

After we recently got back Disney+ (thanks to our cable company; we previously had it for a couple of months around the beginning of 2020, but got rid of it when the pandemic forced my dad to take a temporary pay cut at his job), I’ve been rewatching The Golden Girls on there from the beginning (it’s technically on Hulu, but I think our subscription is a Disney+/Hulu bundle which allows you to watch Hulu shows on Disney+ without having to switch apps). Anyway, the streaming version of the show restores jokes and scenes that were otherwise cut from the syndicated version of the show. So anyway, I came across this particular joke for the first time and I decided to look into who Sidney Sheldon was.

Sidney Sheldon was born Sidney Schectel on 11 February 1917 in Chicago. The son of Ukrainian Jewish parents, Sheldon showed a talent for writing from an early age. He sold his first poem at the age of 10, earning $5 for his work. (According to an inflation calculator, $5 in 1927 has the same purchasing power as $90.60 today. Not a bad sum for the time!) He worked a variety of jobs during the Great Depression, and although he was able to enroll in college on a scholarship, he ended up having to drop out after six months in order to support his family. He ended up moving to Hollywood in 1937 to work as a script reviewer and screenwriter. He later enlisted in the Army Air Corps (the predecessor to what is now the United States Air Force) during World War II, but was medically discharged due to a back injury before he would have been deployed.

During his time as a screenwriter, Sheldon also began writing Broadway productions. He primarily wrote for musical theater, but he also wrote several plays, and he eventually developed a reputation of being one of Broadway’s most prolific writers. This reputation allowed him to return to Hollywood, where he won an Oscar for Best Original Screenplay in 1948 for writing The Bachelor and the Bobby-Soxer (a screwball comedy starring Cary Grant as the “Bachelor”, Shirley Temple as the “Bobby-Soxer” who develops a crush on the older “Bachelor”, and Myrna Loy as the sister and guardian of Shirley Temple’s character). He additionally won a Tony Award in 1959 for writing the book (musical theater term for “script”) to the musical Redhead. Sheldon’s career in writing for the stage and screen also included many films and television shows, including writing scripts for The Patty Duke Show, I Dream of Jeannie, and later on Hart to Hart.

What makes Sidney Sheldon appear in this series, though, is his career as a novelist. He published his first novel, The Naked Face, in 1970. He primarily wrote in the mystery and thriller genres, and he gained a largely female fan following in part due to the somewhat steamy nature of his novels, as well as his use of primarily female protagonists. He was often regarded as a “potboiler” (or someone who wrote primarily to make money rather than for the sake of art), but regardless he would have been quite well known during the time of The Golden Girls’ run. (This wasn’t the only joke on the show mentioning Sidney Sheldon, by the way. There’s another mention of him in Season 2 — I think the episode where Rose, Dorothy, and Blanche go on a disastrous Caribbean vacation — where Rose admits to reading Blanche’s diary and says she got 20 pages in before she realized it wasn’t a Sidney Sheldon novel.) In his lifetime, Sheldon wrote 18 novels that sold a total of over 300 million copies.

Sidney Sheldon died in Rancho Mirage, California from pneumonia on 30 January 2007 at the age of 89, just 12 days before he would have turned 90. Married three times, he was survived by at least one child (a daughter, Mary Sheldon, who is an author in her own right). After his death, his estate authorized British author Tilly Bagshawe to write sequels to some of his novels as well as novels inspired by his writing style and her works usually carry the Sidney Sheldon’s tag in the title.

[murfpersonalblog]

IWTV S2: (Un)Answered Questions & Plot Holes (Pt3) + Mayfair Witches 2x3 Deets: Felix & Lestat Timeline?

I made 2 rants about Felix & Lestat in MW 2x3 (x x), but I still have a bunch of questions, AMC, esp. cuz of this dialogue here:

Felix: That feeling's guilt. That's a human thing. Makes them behave like sheep...easy to kill. Lasher: I don't find it easy. Felix: Oh, it'll get easier! Did for me. But I had a good teacher. Lasher: Why? What did he tell you? Please, tell me what he said. Felix: We're meant to cull the herd. It's a natural thing, like Mr. Darwin taught!

According to this exchange, Lestat TOLD Felix that vampires/immortals/monsters/etc are "meant to cull the herd."

(And we know Felix's teacher is Lestat--Esta confirmed it twice--this isn't Armand or Marius or Bruce or some rando.)

This implies that when Lestat took Felix in, he was still holding fast to his dogmas about humans being nothing more than The Meat, that vampires were free to kill without guilt/shame/remorse/etc.

That nixes the fan theory than in S3 Lestat can swoop in and say Louis lied/misremembered/etc and LES was the one who actually promoted killing only the Evil Doers (a la book!Lestat in TVL).

That also nixes the theory that Les was starving in his SadShack the entire time post-Paris, from 1949 - 2022. He would've had to have been showing Felix HOW to cull the herd, by killing humans too.

1) So when did Les turn to being a shut-in eating rats?

The timeline's weird, cuz Felix is a "millennial," meaning he was born sometime between 1981 - 1996--his actor Gabriel Freilich is 35, born 1989. But Felix looks young though, and definitely talks like he's barely 20ish, like an impressionable dumb kid. He had to have been turned into a vampire and/or orphaned fairly recently, to be looking to Lestat of all people for guidance. It couldn't have been in the 70s, cuz Felix wouldnt've been born yet, and not the 80s-90s either, cuz he'd be just a little kid. So was Felix Turned/orphaned/met Lestat in his 20s-ish, maybe around the 2000s?....

Cuz 2000's the same year LOUIS also stopped killing people! 👀

In 2x8 we see Louis collect ALL of Claudia's diaries AND yellow dress from the Theatre--but that contradicts what Louis told Daniel about them being "scattered" across Paris & NOLA--for some reason Lou DIDN'T have all of them in 1973.

And we know in the books that the Talamasca found Claudia's diaries & Lestat had her dress, not Louis. My pre-S2 theory was that AMC!Louis/Lestat found Claudia's diaries in the 80s/90s (after 1973), and this caused Louis to spiral & stop killing in 2000.

But now I'm wondering if LESTAT was the one who found some of Claudia's stuff from NOLA, and told Armand/Loumand about it (or maybe just sent them her stuff?); and Loustat were both triggered TOGETHER, and decided to BOTH stop killing in 2000? 🤔 Louis moves to Dubai & starts The Farm; and Lestat turns to rats?

Cuz AMC's clearly not fully following the books, where Armand lied to Loustat that they were dead. Lestat didn't seem SURPRISED to see Louis alive in 2x8, like he thought Louis was dead all this time. He just wanted Louis to confirm if Lou had hurt himself in SanFran--so they clearly didn't talk about it, if they had met before 2x8. 🤔🤔

And Les also asked if Lou's been seeing ghost!Claudia--meaning if the Loustat had met before 2x8, Les hadn't seen ghost!Claudia at that time either. So SOMETHING BAD happened post-1973 & pre-2022 to trigger Lestat seeing Claudia all of a sudden, and starting to eat rats. 🤔🤔🤔

This would then explain how/when Lestat switches up on Felix--telling him to cull the herd one second, but collect rats for Les to eat the next. 🤔🤔🤔🤔 Les couldn't've been seeing Claudia & eating rats when he first met Felix, if he's cognizant enough to teach Felix about culling the herd & trusting his instincts & humans being sheep & we are gods & blahblah. (Also, Les seemed fine in 1973 when he was chatting on the phone with Armand, so...? 🤷)

2) WHO is following Human Rules?

Cuz here's the thing--Lestat didn't go "crazy" in that SadShack cuz he was guilty/conflicted living by human rules about not killing humans. He was going crazy with GRIEF over Claudia.

WE are assuming that Felix is implying that Les eating rats is what drove Les "crazy," but Lasher doesn't have that context! What Felix says to Lasher still implies that's this is what LESTAT told him would happen--NOT a result of something Felix actually witnessed himself.

So which one is it? Is Lestat giving this advice, or Felix?

Cuz Lestat would've been grieving over Claudia AND Louis post-1973 regardless. So yeah, maybe this is just what Felix is ASSUMING, that the rats/rules are the problem; same way he idiotically assumes that Lasher being inhuman automatically means human rules about morality shouldn't apply to him.

GOD this show makes ME crazy. WHAT are they doing with the timeline? WHEN is all of this stuff happening, AMC? It MATTERS, contextually. Felix is a throwaway character, but LESTAT IS NOT, and Rolin giving Esta carte blanche to throw this stuff in makes it CANON, because this IS a connected universe.

So what Felix says isn't a throwaway at all--IWTV now has to explain this, too, and the whole dynamic between Lestat & Felix, and the series of events that not only led to Felix spewing all this garbage to Lasher, but also Lestat spewing his nonsense to Felix, in the context of what we saw in S1 & S2.

[smollbean42905]

RUN

In Belen's hallway, he walked down with his phone flashlight on. He entered the first room and filmed the walls that were covered with photos of all the patients when they were alive and smiling. A bit over 150 had a bright red X in the corner showing who lived and who didn't. On one of the tables there was a large file, he goes over and flips it open. Inside of the file are papers about all of the patients that have stayed in the building during use. He flips through it and says a few names that caught his eyes.

"Jane Keith, age 18, female, unknown...unknown....the records aren't that good.....death: suicide.." he speaks softly, James was behind him while reading until he got to James'

"James Brian, age 20, male, unknown..." he sighs

"unknown....death: accident? How can someone die accidentally except for taking the wrong meds or falling from a high height...but....that makes no sense..." He closes it up and puts it in his bag. He looks in the viewfinder seeing James for a second before turning around seeing nothing. He shrugs it off feeling uneasy and picks up the camera, he looks around for a few seconds before moving onto the next room. He goes room to room looking around

"I'm not giving you good content without Lyre, she has all of the history" he sighs softly and enters the last room at the end of the hall. The door is a lilac color, Belen opens it and feels like he's being watched. He goes inside and feels the temperature drop drastically. Belen raises an eyebrow at the sudden temperature drop but continues on. A shadow forms in the corner of the room. Belen goes over to a black table in the center of the room that holds some papers, he picks one up. It was a diary entry from Jane Keith. He reads it outloud,

"Dear Diary, today my day was bad. Today the inevitable happened, Leo Goldy raped me." He pauses and whispers to himself so low the mic can't hear him. He continues,

"Everyone could hear my screams, I was in my room during the day. He came in and did it to me." He pauses again and sighs deeply letting his face show emotion, pity? No..empathy. He continues again,

"Leo will die by my hands. Even if I die first.." he reads the rest in his head. He puts his bag onto the table with the camera gently set down facing his waist. He takes out the large folder from an earlier room and finds Leo Goldy. Leo was a nurse here who was murdered by Jane who then committed suicide the following day. A scream is heard from next to him, he flinches and looks around. Belen knew it wasn't Lyre, that wasn't her scream so he brushed it off. Belen puts everything back into the bag and picks up the camera. He looked around the room some more, the walls were a light gray almost white. The walls were adorned with roses in speckles, the trim a baby pink, and the floor white tiles. The room was in the best condition, better than any room he's seen so far. Like someone comes here daily to clean this room specifically. He films around the room before getting the feeling of being watched, he looks around the room seeing if Lyre was there. She wasn't. He got a bit confused but ignored it, bad idea, he was soon pushed making the camera fall about a foot away from his hand. He screams from the impact and turns and sees a dark shadow and the shadow from earlier, James was protecting Belen from the evil spirit. Belen gets up and snaps a photo before running. He meets Lyre out in the hallway, he quickly picks up the two cameras putting them into his bag then grabbing Lyre's hand running out of the building with Lyre barely keeping up. Once they make it outside he just picks her up like a sack of potatoes and runs to their car. Lyre films the building and sees the dead guards and a dark shadow in the window where Belen got pushed. A lighter shadow in the window next to it, we all know who that shadow was. Belen puts her down after a mile of running to the parking lot where the car was in sight. They walk in silence, Lyre filming them still. A bruise is already forming on Belen's cheek, a scratch unknowingly forming on his calf. They make it to the car and get in their respective seats of Belen driving and Lyre in the passenger's seat. Belen shakes a bit in the car, Lyre puts the camera on the dashboard like she always does

"What happened in there Bub?" Her voice is soft, she knows something is wrong. Belen sighs and speaks quietly

"Something in there attacked me. I was pushed. I turned and saw shadows? As odd as that sounds, but I did. There was a lighter one and one that was like midnight. I also may have found a large folder of all of the previous patients that never left. Oh and there's a God-damn dead body in the morgue th-" he gets cut off by Lyre,

"Wait, slow down. A shadow person pushed you. You found a folder about all of the dead patients and there was a body in the morgue? Is that why you didn't let me enter the room?" Belen nods as a response

"You took a picture of it..can I see?" Belen looks at her like she's crazy and nods nonetheless and takes out his phone. He goes to his gallery and shows her the picture. The picture held a dead man, the man was black and he had three large scratches going along his clothed chest.

"The Holy trinity.." the twins mutter at the same time. They look at eachother and Lyre's eyes are drawn to Belen's wrist.   

[foxydivaxx]

Zosan: Look What You Made Me Do Chapter 5

Sanji will speak to us directly here and boy are you all in for a treat because we finally get to hear from the man in regards to his ahem….perverted dirty mind. Just picture Sanji smirking as he tells you all the naughty things he does. He kinda sounds like Lestat here xD. TW: mentions of sex and abuse

Henceforth, I shall take over the story here since this is my show now. Chopper suggested I write a diary as it helps with my thoughts. At first I thought it would not work given how crazy I tend to be. Turns out it did work as I can now properly digest and dissect my thoughts properly before doing something reckless.

I have always been different. Too kind to many. Too intense for some. Too meek for others. Perhaps that explains my bad luck with women and people in general. Always been a controversial person due to my status as a perverted cook. Many forget I kick ass. But considering my attitude towards women, I do not blame their dismissive attitude.

Truth be told, I kind of took Zeff’s stance towards women too seriously. Listen, I owe that old man my life because he saved me from starvation hence why I take food wastage seriously. So when that man says something, I would stick to it even if it would not serve me any good.

Every single relationship I had prior to Marimo either ended in tragedy or in disaster. I have lost Lord knows how many lovers now. The last thing I want is to lose Zoro. I have always been in love with him ever since the day I met him but did not bother to hook up with him as I thought I was not his type. Yet here we are a happy couple years later.

For years, I have struggled with relationships and my sexual identity. All this is thanks to that useless bastard that called himself my father. I have since disowned him but clearly, he refuses to take the hint hence why he killed Zeff and destroyed the Baratie and everyone in it. He expected me to crawl back to him. Stupid old fool.

As if that wasn’t enough, he had the audacity to send that delusional idiot Akuma after me, pretending to be a pirate with demon powers. Oh how I laughed in my head at that one.

You see the thing about Akuma is that he is a genetically enhanced human like I am. That is why his powers appear demonic. But he has clearly never met a bigger more monstrous demon that could kill him until he met me that is. Yes I can be a demon when you push me that far.

Now why did I mention these two men? Okay, I told the crew about it especially Marimo.

You see, my gentleman image is kind of a mask, an illusion to hide my true sexuality. The ladies must have seen through it and chose not to follow through. I am glad they rejected me because I would not have had the sexual awakening I would have had years later.

Chopper and Zoro both stated that my excessive nosebleeds was as a result of sexual inactivity. They are absolutely right because after Akuma and his guys started fucking the shit out of me day in day out and now Zoro, I feel a lot better.

Oh yeah, I love sex. I will not deny that fact. What made me love sex that much was ironically the way I lost my virginity. There was this customer at the Baratie named Marissa.

Beautiful blonde lady about her early 20’s wearing a beautiful purple qiqao alongside a black coat. She had a welcoming smile and an inviting presence that made every man at the Baratie weak in the knees. Yet for some reason, I attracted her eye. I was just 17 then.

I was trying to be a good boy here, obeying Zeff’s command in regards to not simping after any woman I saw after my young hormones almost lost control when I was just 8.

The woman beckoned to me. I remember freezing in my tracks. Zeff grunted at me, signalling that I go attend to her. I took some small tentative walks towards the woman and gave her a polite smile. How I controlled myself that day is beyond me.

Either way, later that night once I had finished with work, I headed to my living quarters. As soon as I opened the door, my jaw dropped. There was Marissa seated seductively on my bed.

“How did you…get in here?” I say as I immediately close the door behind me. Last thing I wanted was for the old shitbag to find me in a compromising position.

She smiles sweetly and raises up from the bed, gently making her way towards me, like a cat who had just found her prey. “One of your fellow staff members helped to sneak me in here.”

I thought as much. I was in awe of this beautiful lady in front of me. Usually, I do the chasing. So this was a first, the first time a woman would willingly give herself to me.

“I may have to punish some miscreants for that later.But right now…” I then wrap my arm around her waist and pull her closer. “How about you and I have our little moment mon cherie?” I say in the most seductive voice I could muster.

She immediately melts under my touch and without hesitation, locks lips with me. I was a virgin at the time and yet, here I was acting like a pro.

She drove me insane with her gentle touch, the way that hot mouth of hers took my cock and sucked me off. I am surprised I did not lost it there because when someone sucks me off on a good day, I can be quite loud.

Her soft moans were music to my ears as I fucked her that day. I went overboard and fucked her hard. She herself was also a virgin making it even more exciting. That day was amazing. Shame it was a one-off affair. But a good one at that. But that moment began my deep erotic awakening.

It was not just some of the ladies that lusted after me. There a few guys too. One of them followed me to the bathroom one day and gave me a mind blowing blowjob. He also fucked me in the bathroom.

A few of the younger guys at the Baratie have also fucked me as well and it felt so good. Zeff found out and kicked my ass. I did not care and just kept on feeding my sexual appetite. He eventually just let me be. Now, there is a downside to my sexual side which conincides with my nosebleeds.

If I don’t have sex for a long time, I would lose my mind. Yeah you heard that right. I, Black- Leg Sanji am a sex freak. At least I admit it this time.

Whenever we end up on an island, I will do my usual flirting. Now here is the thing; I always knew that Nami and Robin never had feelings for me and that I was never their type. Yet I continued simping for them because well….it was fun. Plus they were beautiful. Still I thought I had a shot with either of them and went for it like the fearless fool I was.

There was also this part of me that constantly wanted love and attention and when I did not get it, I got pissed. Comes with growing up in an abusive, toxic environment. Yet, I also felt I did not deserve any love or affection. So for someone like Marimo to love me the way he does is truly a blessing.

However if a lady showed interest in me, which is rare, that takes me by surprise, especially when I am not being a prude. Unfortunately I allowed my moral code get the better of me and so many people took advantage of my weakness.

For all the gentlemanly shit I do, the truth is I am that boy no one should take home to their mamma. Don’t get me wrong, I can be nice and gentlemanly but the truth that I have slowly begun to accept is that I am a bad boy at heart.

I am so wild and insane and my sex addiction gets the better of me at times. Certainly not something anyone’s mamma wants to deal with.

It’s weird that I refused to acknowledge my sexuality for a long time. I needed release so I would sleep around on the different islands we went to save for a few exceptions.

I couldn’t help myself. Whenever people willingly relieve my sexual frustrations, I oblige them. All that bickering Marimo and I engaged in was him trying to force me to accept myself for once. Ace did part of the job when we started our relationship.

He deserved better than to end up the way he did. I am glad Luffy was accepting of our relationship.

That brings me to Akuma. Now how it happened was this: the fool approached me when I went to the bathhouse alone. Yes Germa has a bathhouse and in said bathhouse, there is an onsen.

I was alone because I needed to separate myself from everyone. I was going through so much shit then and this after I overheard the shit Pudding said about me.

I was still deeply hurt by what she said because I have heard others say similar shit about me and I got reminded of my family and the hell they put me through.

Just when I was deep in thought, I felt a pair of arms wrap themselves around me. I was taken aback by this because as far as I knew, I was the only one in the onsen.

Just then a deep baritone whispers in my ear in the most sinful of ways, “Give into your desires.” He then parts my legs and begins to finger me.

Looking back at that moment, I feel disgusted. So Judge knew that I was bi and decided to weaponise that against me eh? No worries.

What these fools did not realize was that my Haki skills had heightened. So I can read emotions and hearts. So I knew Akuma was planning to use me anyway. Yet I played along because I realized something; he and his stupid crew could be useful.

And so I upped the ante. I became a whore for them whilst gathering enough information to carry out my revenge plot. How did I know Akuma destroyed the Baratie on Germa’s orders? I saw the letter Judge sent to him on his desk. Talk about careless.

Using my Haki skills, I began to manipulate and seduce everyone on that ship. That whole schtick about them being a demon empire? That was all my doing. Yes, I can alter people’s memories and play games with their minds. All I had to do was to seduce them into doing my bidding which is what I have been doing for a while.

I guess the Germa enhancement programme has special benefits especially when my crew mates are being threatened. I love my fellow Strawhats and I will do anything, absolutely anything to protect them. And if it meant selling my body for information, which I have done loads of times, taking my clothes off and getting fucked by Marines and several others, masturbating to distract people, and getting my hands dirty and executing any threats, then so be it.

That is the difference between Marimo and I. He is the warrior whilst I am the spy, the Homme fatale and assassin. I am done being nice. Nice guys always finish last. I am willing to be a monster for the others. No worries, my heart is still there otherwise Marimo would not fall for me.

Speaking of Zoro, he is straight forward yes but he is a great listener. I did not expect him to be that wise. Being a former pirate bounty hunter I guess taught him a lot about people. He can be silly but he is my silly Marimo.

Today, we arrived at an island to stock up on provisions and also take a much needed break. I chose to wore thigh high shorts that showed off my body, especially my most famous asset which happens to be my ass.

Compared to my old self, I walked onto the island with renewed confidence with sex appeal radiating from me. I did not chase after any woman this time around. Instead, all eyes were on me, especially my ass. Jaws dropped as no one had ever seen an ass quite like mine.

I smirk deviously because I secretly relish the attention. Zoro being Zoro wraps his arms around protectively and shoots warning glares at anyone that dares to look my way. That is my ferocious Tiger. Ever the territorial creature. I find that so adorable.

“The motel is right over there. I say we just chill there.” says Nami, pointing at a tall ash grey building a couple blocks from where we were . The gang agreed as we head inside.

Once the accommodations were sorted, we all head into our various rooms. As expected, Zoro and I got a room to ourselves.

“Is it me or does it feel like a vacation?” Zoro asks. I nodded. “Yeah it kind of does. Though knowing the Marines, they are on high alert.”

Zoro snorts. “Yeah. Well, no one touches my baby.” he says with a little growl as he begins to kiss my neck. I giggle and pull him closer. “Come on Daddy. Let’s have some fun.”

He smirked and soon our clothes fly in different different directions as we head towards the bed and begin to another one of our insane sex sessions. We do not even notice Usopp walking in and then out once he sees us naked and Zoro’s cock deep in my ass.

I spread my legs wide so that Zoro can go deeper into me. “Ah yes!! Ah Gimme more Daddy!!” I mewl out. Zoro did not disappoint as he continues to pound into me.

“God you are so beautiful like this.” He murmurs as he pulls me into a kiss. We switch positions and now I am on top, riding him like crazy.

“F-Fuck..” Zoro grunts. I just giggle and continued to bounce on his cock. I then begin to stroke my cock and within minutes, I cum all over my hand and Zoro’s chest. Zoro cums soon afterwards.

“You are making it difficult to concentrate at times.” says Zoro as we get ourselves cleaned and then get dressed. I just laugh. “Oh my apologies Dr Roronoa.”

He takes my hand and leads me to the restaurant of the motel where the others were waiting.

As the story progresses, Zoro and Sanji are gonna fight over who is the actual main protagonist and narrator. Lord help us with this chaotic couple.

[as-if-and-only-if]

hmmm…so like in C++(20) I need to do two things right now. ok—I wrote this post and it turned out to be 4! (4. Not 4!. Thankfully.) C++ coding diary/questions/difficulties below:

The recursive function I’m working with is structurally the following:

void f(x) {

if(cond) {

successCode

} else {

code1; f(g(x));

if(cond2) { code2; f(h(x)) }

}

}

So, it can either call itself with different arguments—possibly twice, one after the other—or it can succeed.

The way it works, though, is by having code1 and code2 update entries in a global array. (In fact, code1 is simply a[something] = a[somethingElse], and code2 is simply a[something] = 1. cond2 is a[somethingElse] == 0.) So we do have to proceed sequentially to some extent.

Ideally, successCode initiates a possibly computationally intensive task on, say, one of my CPU cores, but spins that off and continues on with the recursive call. However, successCode needs to only spin that process off after it’s finished reading from that global array. (Maybe that part will be trivial.) Further, it needs to stall in the case too many of these processes have been spun off already, and wait for there to be an opening to start.

I’m wondering if std::thread has what I need for that.

2. one thing I’m doing which feels “bad” is: well, I need to have some local constants accessible to a recursive function. Right now I’m essentially just calling f(a, x) where a is unchanged across recursive calls and x changes. Does the compiler know how to handle this correctly…? Is there a better way? Like making a class or something? (I would typically just define this recursive function f(x) inside an outer function that took a as an argument, but you can’t do that directly in C++…)

3. another which feels bad is using this global array! I just need a block of memory whose length is fixed for the majority of the time, but which must be (rarely) grown. does a std::vector give me just as good performance as a really long array, I wonder? The main thing I’m doing is accessing and setting bits at a bunch of different indices, not inserting or growing…and it never grows too large, so maybe a long array is fine.

4. And that’s the other problem—I’m setting bits. that means I get to choose between:

a long (~100?) (and mostly empty most of the time) global array of bools (current, default choice)

the rumored-to-be-cursed std::vector<bool>, which is overridden to be space-efficient instead of a vector of bools—but at the cost of a bunch of its vector-ness! is it better? who knows! half the things on the manual page say “eh, we leave it up to the implementation to decide how or even whether to do this.”

a long and mostly empty most of the time bitset

a boost::dynamic_bitset, which is like a bitset but…dynamic…and I don’t know if that’s better. Like I said I don’t really need to grow it.

what if I just had as many unsigned ints as I needed and manipulated their bits with bitshifting somehow, as though the concatenation of the ints were my array. what then. would that be far worse?

The weird thing is that I don’t need space efficiency, but I do, on each success, need to transform (and alter) the content of this array (or whatever) into something which is space-efficient, but in a weird and bespoke way (I use the last 6 bits of bytes). that means im either constantly converting integer indices into (whichByte, whichBit) pairs and accessing/setting bit values in bytes at the result, or I’m doing one single translation of the whole array each successCode. hard for me to say which is more efficient without testing…but the second *seems* better somehow. but integer operations might be really fast. idk.

[uniquejellyfishqueen]

“All my Mondays are stuck in an endless February”

The first Monday of February is 2/3/2025.

The day after Groundhog Day, 2/2/2025.

2/2/2025 is also the last day for Deer Archery in Ohio.

Groundhog Day: a tradition observed regionally in the United States and Canada on February 2 of every year. It derives from the Pennsylvania Dutch superstition that if a groundhog emerges from its burrow on this day and sees its shadow, it will retreat to its den and winter will go on for six more weeks; if it does not see its shadow, spring will arrive early. In 2024, an early spring was predicted

Victor Hugo, in "Les Misérables", (1864) discusses the day as follows:

"...it was the second of February, that ancient Candlemas-day whose treacherous sun, the precursor of six weeks of cold, inspired Matthew Laensberg with the two lines, which have deservedly become classic:

'Qu'il luise ou qu'il luiserne, L'ours rentre en sa caverne.'

(Let it gleam or let it glimmer, The bear goes back into his cave.)"

In the Gaelic calendar of Ireland, Scotland, and the Isle of Man, Brigid's Day(February 1) is a day for predicting the weather.[29][30] While in Scotland the animal that heralds spring on this day is a snake,[i] and on the Isle of Man a large bird,[32]in Ireland folklorist Kevin Danaher records lore of hedgehogs being observed for this omen:

In Irish folk tradition St. Brighid's Day, 1 February, is the first day of Spring, and thus of the farmer's year. ... To see a hedgehog was a good weather sign, for the hedgehog comes come out of the hole in which he has spent the winter, looks about to judge the weather, and returns to his burrow if bad weather is going to continue. If he stays out, it means that he knows the mild weather is coming.

The earliest mention of Groundhog Day is an entry on February 2, 1840, in the diary of James L. Morris of Morgantown, in Pennsylvania Dutch Country, according to the book on the subject by Don Yoder. This was a Welsh enclave but the diarist was commenting on his neighbors who were of German stock

In 2024, during the 138th and most recent prognostication event, the groundhog did not see its shadow, calling for an early Spring. This has only happened 20 times in the celebration's recorded history: 1902, 1934, 1942, 1950, 1970, 1975, 1983, 1986, 1988, 1990, 1995, 1997, 1999, 2007, 2011, 2013, 2016, 2019, 2020, and 2024

*Hey Phil, it’s supposed to be fun turning 21.

Dunkirk Dave (a stage name for numerous groundhogs that have filled the role since 1960) is the local groundhog for Western New York, handled by Bob Will, a typewriter repairman who runs a rescue shelter for groundhogs.[79][80] Will is adamant that Dunkirk Dave does not actually predict the date of spring because that is fixed by calendars, but instead predicts the harshness of the remainder of winter

*like the Harry Styles movie, Dunkirk? Which released on 7/21/2017 in the UK and the US. Hans Zimmer did the music.

*Speaking of Harry, his birthday is 2/1… the day before Groundhog Day, which is then the day before the first Monday of the year.

2/3/25 - 4/20/25 is 76 days (13)

2/3:

* American Painters Day 

“Did the twin flame bruise paint you blue?”

* Doggy Date Night 

* Elmo's Birthday 

St. Elmo’s Fire (Man in Motion) was released on 6/13/1985

* Feed the Birds Day 

She is in a cage eating lobster in LWYMMD. Like a bird in a cage, being fed its meal. But Lobster is almost a reminder of the “last meal” a prisoner would get prior to execution.

* Four Chaplains Day

This was established in 1988

The SS Dorchester was torpedoed by a German U-Boat in the North Atlantic.

* International Golden Retriever Day 

The Tortured Poets Department. track 2, album 11. “I scratch your head, you fall asleep Like a tattooed golden retriever But you awaken with dread Pounding nails in your head But I've read this one where you come undone” like she is tied together with a smile but she’s coming undone?

* National Carrot Cake Day

* National Carrot Day

Bunnies eat carrots, she dangled a carrot in front of us when she said to come down the rabbit hole

* National Cordova Ice Worm Day 

The Ice Worm Festival is apparently the best cure for winter blues since 1961. “We thought a cure would come in time, now, I fear it won’t.”

The worm in the parade looks like Thomas The Train

* National Missing Person's Day 

In The Man music video, the wall where she is marking her territory has a missing poster that says “Missing if found return to Taylor Swift”…. What’s missing though? Is she saying she is trying to return herself to herself, by finding who she really is? Or since she is dressed as the man, maybe her man is missing and if you find him please return him to her.

* National Patient Recognition Day 

She was a patient undergoing what appeared to be electro shock therapy in the fortnight video.

* National Sickie Day (United Kingdom) - February 3, 2025 (First Monday in February)

* National Trevor Day 

Neville’s frog.

Trevor means: homestead, settlement, large, big

* National Wedding Ring Day 

*Paper Rings

*the whole story she is telling from the first album until now are about a love story ending in marriage.

* National Women Physicians Day 

* Take a Cruise Day

Cruise by Florida Georgia Line was released on 8/6/2012…. Mirrored of 6/8 which was the first and only time Crazier had been performed live.

The remix of the song with Nelly was released on 4/2/2013.

* The Day the Music Died 

The song American Pie by Don McLean was recorded on 5/36/1971 and released in November of 1971. 12 years after the death of Buddy Holly, Ritchie Valens, The Big Bopper, and pilot Roger Peterson.

HISTORY:

* 1690 – The colony of Massachusetts issues the first paper money in America

* 1809 – The Illinois Territory is created

* 1815 - World's 1st commercial cheese factory is established, in Switzerland

* 1870 – The Fifteenth Amendment to the U.S. Constitution is ratified, guaranteeing voting rights to citizens regardless of race.

* 1882 - Circus owner PT Barnum buys his world famous elephant Jumbo

* 1913 – The Sixteenth Amendment to the U.S. Constitution is ratified, authorizing the Federal government to impose and collect an income tax.

* 1918 – The Twin Peaks Tunnel in San Francisco, California begins service as the longest streetcar tunnel in the world at 11,920 feet  long.

* 1919 - League of Nations 1st meeting in Paris

* 1944 - During World War II, the United States troops capture the Marshall Islands

* 1964 - A KKK member was posted outside of Leb’s restaurant persuading guests from entering by holding a sign that said “Please stay away, negros and whites mix here.” On the evening before, a group of black students got inside Leb's Restaurant, and the Atlanta police refused to arrest them. This may have been because a United Nations commission with a mandate to study America's racism was in town. Charlie Leb responded by closing his restaurant and killing the power. The Klansmen were on the sidewalk that night, and many of them wore their regalia. The mixture of Klansmen and black students was certainly volatile, but the Atlanta policemen kept the peace.

* 1973 - President Nixon signs Endangered Species Act into law

* 1995 – Astronaut Eileen Collins becomes the first woman to pilot the Space Shuttle as mission STS-63 is launched from Kennedy Space Center in Florida

* 2023 - A freight train in East Palestine, Ohio derails with vinyl chloride and other hazardous materials releasing hydrogen chloride and phosgene into the air and contaminating the Ohio River

MUSIC

* 1959 – A plane crash near Clear Lake, Iowa kills Buddy Holly, Ritchie Valens, The Big Bopper, and pilot Roger Peterson in an incident that becomes known as The Day the Music Died.

* 1960 - Frank Sinatra forms his own label, Reprise Records.

* 1964 - The Beatles, Meet the Beatles album goes Gold

* 1967 - Purple Haze, recorded by Jimi Hendrix

Like Lavender Haze? Which was the 9th episode of Midnights Mayhem With Me. But there were 5 episodes released that day. This was released at Midnight. Which makes the most sense in the world since the music video and the song literally say “Meet Me At Midnight”

“MAY” the only album released in May was Midnight (Til The Dawn Edition) on 5/26/2023

“HEM” to sew, like we saw her doing so in the fortnight challenge. The release of TTPD was 329 days after the release of MTTD.

2/3/25 is 54 days before 3/29.

* 1968 - The Lemon Pipers' Green Tambourine hits #1

* 1969 - Beatles John Lennon, George Harrison, and Ringo Starr hire Allen Klein as the group's new manager, against the wishes of Paul McCartney

* 1971 - Lynn Anderson's Rose Garden is certified gold.

* 1973 - Elton John's Crocodile Rock hits #1

* 1978 - Harry Chapin meets with US President Jimmy Carter to discuss the world hunger situation.

* 1978 - The TV-movie Dead Man's Curve, the first to deal with the tragic Jan & Dean story, premieres on ABC.

* 1979 - The Blues Brothers' album Briefcase Full of Blues hits #1

* 1979 - YMCA, by Village People peaks at #2 on pop singles chart

* 1989 - Wild Thing, by Tone Loc becomes the first rap single certified Platinum.

* 2006 - Nick Lachey, What's Left Of Me, is released

SPORTS

* 1876 - Albert Spalding with $800 starts sporting goods co, manufacturing 1st official baseball, tennis ball, basketball, golf ball, & football

* 1942 - Baseball owners agree to permit each club up to 14 night games in 1942

* 1948 - Dick Button becomes 1st world figure skating champion from US

* 1951 - Dick Button wins US skating title for 6th time

* 1956 - Toni Sailor becomes 1st Olympic skier to sweep 3 alpine events

* 1972 - 11th Winter Olympic games opens in Sapporo, Japan (1st in Asia)

* 1975 - Billy Herman, Earl Averill, & Bucky Harris elected to Hall of Fame

* 1979 - US female Figure Skating championship won by Linda Fratianne
1979 - US male Figure Skating championship won by Charles Tickner

* 2002 - Super Bowl XXXVI: New England Patriots beat St. Louis Rams, 20-17 at the Louisiana Superdome, New Orleans. The  MVP is Tom Brady, New England, QB

[myjennieblr]

Honour Held and Hindered

Chapter 21 - Warmth at your Back (5.5K)

“It will pass,” Nami said quietly. “But I am glad that I had not had this experience before we fought the Yume no Omo. The nightmares the Lord of Dreams sent to me back then were bad enough. Now…” she shuddered, “now they would be much worse. She is my charge, Goro-sama. And as much as she claims that my presence helped protect her soul, I was helpless to protect her person. If Rieko-san had not come to her rescue…”

“But he did,” Goro said. “And Tetsunotaka-san said it was you who suggested she be trained in unarmed combat. So every blow she struck in her own defense was you as well.”

Nami squinted at him. “Is it a shugenja thing to be so willing to turn words into the equivalent of a physical protection?”

Goro shrugged. “It is a bushi failing to consider only the physical as what needs to be protected against. And to limit themselves to that role.”

Nami huffed a quiet laugh. “Alright. Kagami-sama I would believe might simply be being kind, might be considering the situation with her tendency towards innocent optimism. I cannot manage to doubt your sincerity, Goro-sama. Not when you phrase it as an insult.”

Chapter 1 - Birds Caged in Silence (5K) Chapter 2 - A Mind not Contained (5.5K) Chapter 3 - Warning in Ice and Fire (5.6K) Chapter 4 - Rain Unrelenting (4K) Chapter 5 - Concerns Confirmed (5.8K) Chapter 6 - Planned for and Unexpected (5.2K) Chapter 7 - Trail to the North (4.2K) Chapter 8 - A Face and a Name (5.9K) Chapter 9 - The Strength to Endure (4.3K) Chapter 10 - Situations Misread (5.7K) Chapter 11 - Of Madness and Men (5.2K) Chapter 12 - Fear Uncaged and Harnessed (4.8K) Chapter 13 - The Weight of Waiting (5.3K) Chapter 14 - Teacups and Shattered China (4.6K) Chapter 15 - A Trail to Follow (6K) Chapter 16 - Silence Lifted (5.9K) Chapter 17 - Clean and Fed (5.2K) Chapter 18 - Unsettled Dreams (5K) Chapter 19 - Taking Stock (6.4K) Chapter 20 - The Diary of Ishiken Benjiro (4.6K)

[lemondaily]

diaries of a bipolar 19 almost 20 year old

I think about this quote a lot

“Life is so subtle sometimes you find yourself walking through the doors you once preyed would open”

like., yeah. I grew up kind of rough (could have been worse never forget that) but with everything going on I was having serious mental health issues around 12, and I guess my surroundings were safe for me to be experimenting with gardening and four lokos, and by the time I was 16 I was literally a fully fledged alcoholic; totally following in moms footsteps.

It wasn’t until I got serious with bf when I realized how insufferable I was being, and it was a H U G E reality check, made me really think about who I was. Made me want to leave this world better than I found it. It was subtle changes at first. Part of the beginning of practicing mindfulness can start from truly coming from a place of wanting to be better for the people around you, which is an amazing building block for the rest of the work, but then I started noting patterns with the way I thought about my life and the things that would happen

And I realized; these conflicts and things in my life weren’t directed towards me… I know.. shocking right -.- but as someone who had never thought about anything any other way, this was h I uge for me!

If you’d had told me a year ago that I finally started to let things go, in many ways and different levels, I wouldn’t believe you. I used to say “I’ll forgive, but I’ll never forget”, and now I’m starting to give myself grace with everything I do, I started granting myself the same courtesy that I would give to others in a heartbeat, and it was like my life took a left and I drove myself into a place of forgiveness, where I don’t feel like I’m destructing my thinking 24/7

And the worst part is, if a therapist tried to tell me this before I learned it the hard way, I would have been like haha yeah okay good luck with that sweetie I am the way I am.

So I guess what I’m saying is,

Yeah. You are the way you are. But it takes a long time to see how miserable you are, but it takes even longer to see that it doesn’t have to be that way.

And by the time people figure it out, they’re like 40 and already married with children

When these things SHOULD be taught. My parents would never have told me to try changing my mindset, no I had to take some lsd at 14 and learn that shit the hard way. But oh well right we gotta let it go, I was just saying it’s so funny how I’m so different than I was. I used to be horrible at being alive. I couldn’t figure out what I was doing wrong, I thought it was all my fault and the universe just hates me. But man let me tell you, if you start living your life knowing that there’s a balance of everything good and bad and in between, and you live accordingly, you respect the right things, you learn quickly what the universe is asking of you, and your purpose reveals itself. And your life isn’t gonna turn out how you dreamed it to be, but by the time you get to the future, whatever you built for yourself will be even better than you could have ever imagined.

And that’s why people always tells you it gets better

You could be sitting front row at a funeral and somebody could say “this too shall pass” or “don’t worry it gets better” or easier, or whatever kind of stock post they feel like spitting in ur face at that moment and you think, no you’re wrong this is the end of all things

and then the sun hits ur face the next morning, you think yeah I’ll eat I guess. That’s all it takes. One step, and then the next day you’ll get up a few seconds faster, and you’ll start preparing yourself to live your life again. It may not get better, but honey, you do.

You do get up again, you do learn how to deal with those big feelings, if you’ve lost someone you know, every day is another day of pain, but it’s also another day of you dealing with pain, and even if it doesn’t feel like time is moving and it’s getting better, it still does no matter what. You just hold on tight and lean on the people who love you. And watch movies, and cry, and you do get up again. and don’t forget that everything has a place in this world

Even spiders and flies and bees 6/23/24

[gravitas-game-and-book-dev-blog]

Dev Diary 3: Battles

In this weeks dev diary I want to discuss the implementation I am working on for the turn based battles. I've pitched this game as a cross between Fire Emblem and Grand Strategy Games, so today I want to dive into the battles which will feel familiar to Fire Emblem, with several big alterations to the formula, the first of which is the distinction between Phases and Turns. Before I go into that, let's just describe the flow of a battle and army composition.

Battles will be initiated either by an Event or when 2 hostile parties meet on the map. Unlike in Fire Emblem, your armies will be composed of Troops, which represent a whole battalion of soldiers. Some Troops, like your Generals, will be named characters and some Troops are unique and lead by a Unique Captain Character, however the bulk of your armies will be made up of more, shall we say disposable, cadets. One Troop will usually represent 1,000 men and an Army can have up to 20 units in it, so that they have somewhat realistic numbers. Once a battle begins one party is designated as the attacker and the other as the defender and each side is given a deployment zone where they can freely arrange their troops before the battle starts. Once a battle begins, the Maneuver Phase begins.

Maneuver Phase

The attacker always gets to move first and during this phase they get to move 1 Troop of their choosing, but they cannot attack during this phase. Then, the turn passes to the defender who can likewise move a single Troop before passing it back to the attacker. Neither side can move the same Troop twice until all Troops have moved, which will end the Maneuver Phase and Start the Combat Phase.

Combat Phase

This phase progresses much like the Maneuver Phase, each side issuing one order and passing to the other until all Troops have their orders, except during this Phase Troops can't move and instead are told who they can attack within their range. Melee units can only attack adjacent enemies while ranged troops can attack between 2 and 4 spaces away or engage in a melee attack, though their melee stats are quite bad. Once all orders are set, Troops deliver their attacks in succession and we return to the Maneuver Phase repeating the process until the battle ends.

So why not just do things the way it works in Fire Emblem or other Tactics games? My reasoning for structuring turns like this is to encourage more aggressive play, which might not be immediately obvious. If you've ever tried or seen multiplayer Fire Emblem, it just doesn't work. Whoever is able to have a longer threat range via movement or other ranged attacks has such a significant advantage as they will be able to attack when they can inflict enough damage to kill something, forcing the other player to come forward and respond with potentially fewer units dragging them into a usually devastating follow up which ends the match. They revolve around turtling and there are limited options for handling the fact that the enemy will be able to move and attack with all of their units before you can respond. Structuring turns this way makes it so with each move, the opposing player is able to respond like a game of chess and not only that, by cleverly positioning your Troops, you can essentially force them into making certain moves, limiting their options if you're brain is wrinkly enough.

There are a few additional rules that add some layers to this, such as zone of control, which makes it so that if a unit moves adjacent to an enemy that will use up all of their movement. If a unit starts in an enemy's ZoC they can disengage and freely move away, but they will suffer an opportunity attack(1/2 normal damage) for doing so. This rewards aggression, as plunging into the enemy first can force them to get stuck into the fight, or suffer free damage for trying to pull away. On top of that, if a unit moves at least 2 spaces on the Maneuver Phase, they will deal additional Charge Damage on their turn which can be very significant. In practice this means, if you rush your opponent, they might not have the space to mount a counter charge, which might be enough to swing things in your favor.

The fact that everyone gets to move before attacking also limits kiting with ranged units as after they attack, they will frequently be within movement range of many Troops, meaning there might be an opportunity for your opponent to close the distance and get them stuck in melee or force an opportunity attack.

There are additional things like flank attacks, but rather than getting stuck in with details I want to take a step back and look at one of the other big changes, morale. Most battles throughout history have been decided by the ability of one side to crack the resolve of the other and seeing as we're representing full scale battles, we'll do the same. Morale effectively serves as a secondary health bar for a unit. When Morale reaches 0, a unit will become uncontrollable and will automatically begin fleeing to the edge of the battlefield. Once it reaches the edge, after a turn they will 'rout' fleeing the map. This gives you a chance to run down enemies as in history this is actually where the bulk of casualties are inflicted. Morale will take damage from attacks, but certain things increase morale damage, the number of nearby enemies vs allies, proximity to your General's Troop, flanking and more. Concentrating fire and focusing on breaking unit's morale will be key to secure victories you might otherwise not win.

That ends it for the day. Tune in Wednesday where I'm hoping to have a really rough prototype ready to demonstrate some of these things.

[delta-queerdrant]

banjos in space (Caretaker, s1 e1/2)

Prologue

A nice pickle we have landed ourselves into, Mr. Frodo! The internet informs me that there are 172 episodes of Star Trek Voyager. I am, in fact, capable of finishing things; just recently, I reread Middlemarch like an absolute fucking boss. I have written novels and completed thousand-mile road trips. Let us choose to believe that this project that I have quixotically set myself, for an audience of, approximately, no one, will be a successful one.

I will not be summarizing episodes. I expect these reviews to be 80% sentiment and 20% analyzing story mechanics. To crib a line from a podcast I like, this is a feelings blog about starships.

The prose will be more or less silly and stream-of-consciousness as the mood takes me. Despite being a Digital Native(tm), I have literally never figured out the trick of talking like I live on the internet, instead I alternate between sounding like Angela Chase writing in her diary and like a college professor who is prone to multisyllabic words, malapropisms, and deducting points for misplaced commas.

Hmm, I seem to be stalling.

Let’s Talk About Caretaker

I started watching Voyager midway through the series’ original run, so my fondness for these episodes is less weighted down with early adolescent emotion. Nevertheless, I was charmed.

Caretaker is just shy of being a banger pilot episode, and the whole first season is pretty strong if you compare it to, say, season one of TNG. (It’s a low bar.) We meet our two crews, we have a lively science fiction mystery that feels extremely Star Trek with its gentle horror-adjacent tropes and insistence on making the cultural referents of the twentieth-century US central to this multi-species science fiction universe. If nothing else, it’s a romp.

The worst thing about this episode, hands down, is Tom Paris, our bad boy rapscallion who turns a new leaf under duress. As a young person I received each of these characters in exactly the way I was meant to receive them; i.e. I found Tom Paris to be charming comic relief.

Does he become charming? In this episode I want to punch his face, a lot, and the sentiment holds throughout season one. It is, of course, the nineties, and so the only character with an unmarked identity (straight white male, not an alien or a hologram) is centered in the pilot episode of our ensemble show. In the process, he goes through a season’s worth of character growth in ninety minutes, to the detriment of future episodes.

The fandom was right and he and Harry Kim (whose only attribute here is BABY) have hilariously good chemistry. (”Look, I know those guys told you to stay away from me,” he purrs to Kim during the mess hall follow-up to their meet-cute.) Why do the good girls always want the bad boys? Don’t fall for his rakish charms, Harry, you can do so much better, even if you have only been given half a personality.

We meet the Ocampa, who seem to live in a subterranean shopping mall or perhaps an airport terminal, and the Kazon-Ogla, who are bargain-bin Klingons without the cool factor or (so far) cultural nuance. I do not love an SFF property with “good” and “bad” species, and find Janeway’s pivotal decision to destroy the Caretaker’s array a bit suspect as a result, but it is a Star Trek, but here we are.

Other than Robert Duncan McNeill, who has been given an impossible script, it feels like all of the actors know their assignments out of the gate. There are so many cute as shit platonic friendships in this show; I love B’Elanna and Harry’s rapport (”Starfleet”). Also, Neelix. I am going on the record here to confess that I am probably going to be a Neelix apologist for the duration of this rewatch. He is just a darling hot mess of a space hobbit, and I find Ethan Phillip’s performance weirdly compelling and nuanced. I won’t be papering over his sexism, which should have been handled with more care. But so far he is absolutely the most plausible and lived-in character in this whole ridiculous show.

Kate Mulgrew’s Janeway, of course, is a close contender. She is so fucking good from scene one (walking so fast to keep up with McNeill’s long gait) - just absolutely sparkling with charisma, and with a warm, self-assured carriage that makes her effortless at inhabiting this role. “Confirmed, a hot lady,” my notes read (yes I was taking notes about this rewatch for myself like an absolute nerd).

We don’t get much backstory for her in season one, other than here, where we meet her dry-toast fiance, and much more importantly, MOLLIE. I had forgotten about Mollie, and holy crap, never mind the trauma and pining and muted sexual confusion that will accompany this character on her journey through the Delta Quadrant - SHE LEFT HER DOG BEHIND!?

^^^ ICONIC. Mark can’t even get an arm around her shoulder because Mollie is the cockblocker of our hearts. Love this for all concerned

Anyway. Our characters are thrown together and overcome adversity, Janeway blows up the array, and we get a rushed conclusion and a mission-statement speech that all feel terribly unearned. There’s nothing much to say about the Maquis subplot here, because the show just... doesn’t grapple with it, at least not in the first season. The very premise that our intrepid crew can only operate this starship by adopting the political structure of the dominant majority deserves interrogation, but nah.

We were never going to get a politically radical Voyager. Still, we could have gotten a politically conscious one. It’s a shame, because these actors and even, I dare say, writers were obviously up to the task of having a more nuanced conversation about leadership and workplace politics and whether an ostensibly egalitarian society’s professional adventurer/diplomats can only function under a military command structure. 

But we’re at the beginning, and we don’t know any of that yet. Anything could happen! We’re lost in the woods, in the middle of our lives, looking for our way home. 

[bucky-barnes-diaries]

Day 1 — Teasing

Pairing || Stepdad!Bucky x Stepdaughter!Reader

Word Count || Around 500

Contents & Warnings || Smut — NSFW, 18+ Only, Minors DNI, non-con, explicit content/language, major age-gap (reader is early/mid 20’s, Bucky is early/mid 40’s), public, corruption kink, daddy kink, innocent!reader, pet names, degrading name-calling, teasing, orgasm denial, mention of bodily fluids.

Disclaimer || English is not my first language so I apologise for any mistakes or misunderstandings!

Kinktober Masterlist

There was absolutely nothing you could do. No escape as your soon-to-be stepdad teased and toyed with your wet little cunt underneath the table at the dinner rehearsal for him and your mom while speeches were being held.

It would be rude of you to make a scene and abruptly get up and leave. It would also make your stepdad so fucking pissed that he would punish you so bad later—to the point where you would be a crying mess.

So all you could do was sit there and take it like a good girl as he deliciously and cruelly tortured you with his colossal fingers up and down your covered slit.

Your panties were so sticky with your wetness as he played with you. He leaned in closer, still keeping his gaze to the front, and muttered so low that only you could hear. “Such a good wet little pussy.” He pressed hard on your tingling nub, and your breathing hitched as you twitched in your seat. “I can’t wait to taste this sweet little cunt later, angel.”

It was hard to keep a straight face and sit still as he continued his corruption on your poor pussy. You chewed on your raw bottom lip to prevent noise from escaping, but a few soft whimpers here and there managed to come out. Luckily, no one seemed to notice. Despite trying to stay perfectly still, you started to grind against his fingers, begging for mercy and release—so fucking desperate for it.

Bucky was so good at pretending nothing was happening. Like he wasn’t touching his innocent and sweet stepdaughter underneath the table. His face, relaxed and concentrated on the speeches, contrasted significantly to what his sinful fingers were doing to you—slowly building up your orgasm.

You felt bubbling tingles and butterflies in the pit of your stomach, wanting to be set free. “I’m gonna come.” You mewled low as his fingers stimulated your clit to perfection.

“No.” He gritted his teeth as he stopped his touches, quickly ripping the orgasm away from you, making you whine and buck into his hand in protest. “Are you really gonna be an ungrateful little slut, angel, huh?” He groped your core harshly, making your eyes water. “Always wanting to get her way. Always wanting to come on daddy’s finger no matter what. Well, not today.”

He returned his assaults on your wet and covered slit as he intended to tease and build you up a few more times. “This is my night. I get to play and tease you as I desire, and there’s nothing you can do but take it like a good little toy.”

Feedback through a comment is highly appreciated! Or let me know through an anonymous ask if that feels more comfortable. As well as a reblog to share my work with other people!

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