#this transaction is very important to me
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they’re so lame
#both spend ages on it. kai moreso but whatever. then they see each other with the hair they wake up with and think god they look like a fool#this transaction is very important to me#kai smith#nya smith#ninjago#kai ninjago#nya ninjago#lego ninjago
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31 October 2023
ok going to write this down before my self-esteem and mood go down, but I've always been very perplexed by friendship and how it works and like, why people like me or are friends with me? and I had some thoughts! (this was longer than I thought it would be lol more under the cut)
So in the shower I was thinking and it is somewhat based on common interests, but NOT in the way that I was thinking of common interests before. It's not like "well we both like dinosaurs so we're friends", its often deeper interests that are connected to identity to some extent. or like shared values, beliefs, but not all of them have to be the same. like just because my friend enjoys a certain type of music that I don't like and often goes to events of that music, doesn't mean we can't be friends because we still have common ground in other areas that can connect us and other events we can go to together.
but still, a friendship is likely going to be frustrating and not work out well if one of the parties has a value that directly clashes against the other in a very material way. like someone who values punctuality, communication and following through on plans isn't going to get along great with someone who is flakey, difficult to contact and often late. But! that also doesn't mean that people can't get along with you because you have different values, beliefs or because you struggle with certain things. like my internalized beliefs around tattoos doesn't make me a bad person, nor a bad friend, and my friends acknowledge that it comes from a more deeply rooted issue and don't take offense to it.
People are also able to accept that you have struggles or limitations (most of the time) and are able to compromise. Like I'm unfortunately often +/-30 mins late because of my disability; I end up needing extra time to lay down that I didn't account for or my body can't move as quickly as it does on other days or oops I dissociated and forgot to do things. I make sure to ask people close to me if it bothers them if I'm late, so I can make sure I set aside even more time to prepare for something if it is the case. Plus there's certain events that have a timeframe of when you can arrive without it being weird, those are hard to figure out though. I think as long as people are secure enough in their identity, values and beliefs, they don't take mine as a personal attack.
sidenote: you can also take care of needs during the time you see friends and don't always have to be 100% prepared when seeing them. I can tell them I need to eat and go get food. this fluctuates based on my sensory difficulty level and cognitive processing abilities of the day but I am allowed to "inconvenience" others with my needs
And friendship, making new friends in particular, is often genuinely about vibes, whether or not you simply "click", which you don't have much control over nor can you always articulate why you didn't have that moment of connection with someone. Because there's a lot of entirely decent people, who I've shared values with and shared perspectives with, who I just didn't really "click" with. I'm still trying to decipher whether that's something that happens instantly upon meeting or can be built up, and if it can be built up, does that result in a fulfilling friendship? or is it always sort of going to be difficult because you're unsure of the connection?
It's also sometimes hard for me to remember what common ground I do have with friends, but sometimes "events" can be going for a walk in the park, sharing a meal or going to some common place like a zoo, aquarium, museum. Just often in the depths of my sadness and isolation, I forget I have interests and I forget that even if I'm not hyperfixated on something, there are still enjoyable activities. That I can do by myself and/or with others.
When I was doing poorly before leaving for the US, I perpetually had the question on my mind of "why are people friends with me? what do I bring to the relationship?", mostly because I was seeing only the differences I had with others and not any of the things we have in common. And it is genuinely hard because a lot of normal interests are things I find difficult, don't enjoy or even find repulsive a lot of the time (music, movies, comics, video games). So I think this will be an interesting period of rediscovering my interests and things I have in common with others.
But I can nevertheless be a bit appeased by remembering that there are things I can do. I often need accommodations, but that doesn't make me a bad person either.
And I don't need to compensate for my weaknesses by trying to placate people with gifts or actions and try prove to them I'm worthy of their friendship.
Like yes maybe going to a museum will be a full day of effort for me, but I can also request a wheelchair, wear noise cancelling earbuds, go at a time where there's less crowd, ask a friend to contact the establishment to verify information related to those things. My life is going to look a bit different than what it looked like before, and yes maybe I will have to put additional requests on my friends, but others not being able to accommodate me doesn't mean I shouldn't or don't have those needs.
Another addition is that people like me, and are friends with me, because we did have that connection, and clicking moment, and have continued to maintain and work on our friendship by spending time with one another and showing care. But people don't like/dislike me because of fundamental traits to who I am really. It's not that deep if I don't feel a connection to a new person. It's not that deep if there's a trait someone doesn't like about me, or I about them, and that's the reason why we don't pursue a friendship. It's not because my life is hard and that I have struggles and difficulties that people dislike me (I think? I mean it can be off-putting but hopefully not the full reason if they are capable of handling that emotionally). A lot of my friends have stuck by me through very difficult moments and have supported me in them.
I still struggle with feeling guilty about having difficulties in my life and probably more often than not, bringing negativity or intensity to a situation where I'm not realizing that's what I'm bringing because I'm in a bad place so those thoughts feel normal to me. I'm still honestly not sure how to navigate that, because I want to respect my needs for reassurance and connection with others, but I also don't want to drag my friends down with me or put heavy things on their conscience when they can't handle it. Part of that is checking in with them before bringing up something heavy, but it's not always easy to know what others consider to be "heavy"; a lot of normal parts of my life are things that are heavy that I don't take the time to recognize as such. I guess that's also why it's best to have a friend group of others you can turn to when someone isn't available.
#personal#me#friends#friendship#feel free to comment/reblog if you have additional insights or references to things that could help me!!!#im still often confused about friendship and my needs and how to be a good friend#bcs like. there is an exchange still. there are still transactions that occur where you do need to bring something of value.#like being able to validate others is an important skill to have and im grateful i took the time to learn about it and do refreshers#when im in a bad place i often focus too much on the transactions and not on the: its nice to spend time with someone i like#because I often feel like im just not a likeable person in hard moments. like its not nice to be around me no matter how hard I try.#every friendship also has a different dynamic and ruleset which is all very confusing for me ngl#its not that im changing my entire identity but i am having to adapt to how that person communicates differently every time
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BEGINNING || PREVIOUS || NEXT MASTER POST
It is done! I feel both like I spent far too much time on this update yet not nearly enough. Some poses are a bit stiff but hopefully the battle itself still reads. I know not much progress was made plot wise, but trust me, there’s a few things in here that are going to become very important much later on in the story.
Leo’s Ninpo: The keen reader might recognize that a number of Leo’s attacks are ones he picked up from Gram Gram, but with a bit of that added portal flair. I really wanted to push the boundaries of where he takes his skills, but stay true to the belief that rather than becoming a heavy hitting powerhouse like his brothers, his strength lies in his ability to calculate and react on the fly. I also wanted to give some level of limitation to each of their gifts. For Leo, it’s less the number of portals he creates that exhaust him, but rather the size and amount of energy that passes through these portals and his ability to keep them stable during the transaction. He has also become much better at keeping his portals well protected (so that portal pirates can not interfere or rather, so that the pirates aren’t killed by stray laser beams rushing through). As far as the Portal Choppers, we’ll be coming back to those and how they work later on in the story…
As always, thank you for your patience, hopefully the next one won’t take as long to create haha.
#another update in the middle of the night#but you’ve all waited long enough#I���m gonna go play some FF7 Rebirth now#rottmnt#kathaynesart#rottmnt replica#replica#save rottmnt#rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles#unpause rise of the tmnt#unpause rottmnt#replica holiday special#violence#portal chop#pregnancy#gore#explosion
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Her Emperor, His Destiny
(Alpha!Paul Atreides x Omega!BeneGesserit!Reader)
Summary: Ever since Paul presented no omega has smelled remotely appealing to him. His only reprieve is his dreams that have been filled with nothing but an angelic voice calling out to him, the silhouette of a woman he can’t quite make out, and the sweetest saccharine smell. Wk: 3.2k
Warnings: General omegaverse behaviors, knotting, scenting, marking, breeding, Paul and reader are a soul bound pair, inappropriate use of the voice(by both Paul & Reader) , fluff, kinda love making? Idk this is much softer than my usual smut. I think that’s it, lmk if I missed any!! 18+MNDI!!
A/N: Listen… I know this is left field for me but I made a promise to myself that I would start writing for ME again, and that means writing whatever I want. I saw Dune 2 and I couldn’t get this idea out of my head. Paul is so alpha coded I feel like it was dropped in my lap.
Paul expected the air to be different, smell different, out in the desert planes of Arkkis. Thus far it’s as he expected. The smell of spice and sand permeate the air to the point that it’s over powering, flooding every single one of your senses. The sand lingers on any inch of exposed skin practically borrowing its way underneath. The smell of spice is so strong that it feels like it’s drowning you, invading your lungs and nostrils, coating them, leaving your insides feeling like sandpaper if you dare breathe it in.
But as he follows Stilgar into the sietch he can’t even be bothered with the glares and sideways glances from the Freman because the further they walk the more his senses are hit with an overwhelmingly saccharine smell. It was like someone was baking the finest pastry mixed with a warm milk bath on a cold winter's day. He had only ever smelled something as sweet as this in his dreams. A scent he’s dreamed of so vividly that it lingered in his nostrils when he woke, but he’s never caught a whiff of it in waking hours until now. There was no doubt in his mind that this is the same scent. The scent that’s haunted him every night since he presented. The scent of his omega, his destined mate.
“I can hear and smell you scenting back there, Paul Atreides… I suggest you get your pheromones under control before we enter.” Stilgar looks back at him with an apprehensive look and Paul apologizes nodding in agreement. “Mating is a very sacred thing to my people. Each pair must be approved and blessed by the high priestess. And all unmated omegas rooms are on the opposite side of the alphas. It is very important that you follow all rules, but especially this one. Do you understand?”
“Yeah, I understand.” He understood the rule but does that mean he was going to follow it? He could certainly try. But that scent was intoxicating and the closer they got to the sietch the stronger it got. He knows given the chance, he’d break that rule in an instant. Consequences be damned.
“Many wait for their soul bound mate and majority of them die alone, never finding the one.” Paul found this odd. Soul bounds are few and far between nowadays and he comes from a place where mating is a transaction, a bargain, something of power and not of love. But as that sugary sweet scent swirls around him, almost making him dizzy, he thinks he might understand wanting to wait for your one. It’s been a few years now since he presented and no omega has ever smelled even remotely appealing to him. They either smelled of nothing or downright revolting, his only reprieve was in his dreams. His dreams filled with that sugary smell and the figure of a woman whose face he could never quite make out.
When Stilgar pulled his mother aside Paul found himself alone in a room filled with stares. Some looked at him in awe, certain he was their long awaited Maud’Dib. Others looked at him with disdain, snickering to each other as they shamelessly pointed his way. But he honestly wasn’t concerned with any of it, because as he sat against the stony wall the scent was stronger than ever. He could almost taste it. His eyes searched the room, craving nothing more than to put a face to the smell that has nearly become his drug. But as he looked across the various faces surrounding him, no one stuck out to him.
But he was certain she was in this room, if not this one than the next. That warm saccharine scent was so close it was as if it were right next to him. That’s when he feels a tap on his shoulder, causing him to jump. Either this person was stealthy or he was so lost in thought he didn’t hear them approaching but when his head whips around to see who it is he feels like his heart is going to burst. He hears the sound of bells ringing, a sound that he’s only heard in the churches back home. There standing over him is the most ethereal woman he’s ever seen, beautiful, perfect, sweet smelling, you.
“Hello, Paul Atreides, I’ve been waiting for you.” You smile down at him sweetly, your eyes filled with adoration. You aren’t dressed like the Fremen, no tans or browns or stillsuit to be found. A black silky dress adorns your form, fitting you perfectly. There’s a sheer midnight colored scarf wrapped around your head and shoulders, framing your face like the greatest work of art. You weren’t Fremen. You were a Bene Gesserit. Or at the very least, one in training.
“I think… I’ve been waiting for you too.” Paul’s voice is trance-like, looking up at you like you hung all the stars in the sky. The sound of the voice you’ve heard so many times in your slumber sending chills down your spine.
“Won’t you come with me? I have so much to tell you.” You look at him eagerly, offering him your danity ringed hand.
“I don’t know if I’m… supposed to…” He wants nothing more than to follow you. He would follow you into one of the suns of Arakkis if you asked him to. But he knew he was already on thin ice here and he feared what would happen to him and his mother if he were to upset anyone further.
“Do not bother with them, they will see the way. They will see what I’ve seen. Soon they will be cheering your name. Come.”
Paul scans the room, all eyes are on the two of you but when he looks back at your reassuring smile it’s like no one else matters, no one else exists. He takes your hand, letting you pull him along through hallways and far away from prying eyes. You drag him into a room that he assumes is yours, shutting the door behind you.
“Have you dreamt of me, Paul?” You sit on the bed and pull the scarf from your head, leaning back on your palms. You look so beautiful and the room is engulfed in your scent. It clings to every inch of the space and radiates off of you in waves.
“Yes… have you dreamt of me?” He takes an apprehensive step toward you, leaving a few feet of distance between the two of you. His green eyes feel as if they’re eating you alive and the scent of him causes slick to rush into your panties.
“Yes, every night since I presented as an omega my dreams have been filled with nothing but you. And more recently I’ve had visions of you in my waking hours. Will you tell me, Paul, about your dreams?” Your voice is as sweet as your scent. The way you’re leaning back on your hands makes the silk of your dress taunt against your breasts, your peaked nipples on display. The sight of you and the unmistakable smell of your slick makes his cock stir in his pants.
“They aren’t very vivid… mostly just flashes of you from behind, the sound of your voice, you were always saying ‘come to me Paul, for I am your destiny’ but your scent? That was so clear to me.” He takes another step forward, reaching a hand out as if he’s going to touch you but he lets it fall to his side, like he thought better of it. “I didn’t know it was possible to have a sense of smell in your dreams, but night after night I was surrounded by your scent as I slept.”
“I could smell you as well and I smelled you the minute you arrived. But my dreams are much more detailed than yours. There is much you do not know.” You approach him, closing the small distance between you. You rest your hands on his chest, looking up at him with hooded eyes. “Would you like me to tell you about them?”
“I’d love nothing more, omega.” His thumb gently caresses the apple of your cheek before traveling down to push some of your hair off your shoulder. He’s looking down at you expectantly, eagerly waiting for you to speak.
“Your dreams are correct, I am your destiny, and you are mine. I can feel the doubt in your heart, feel that you do not believe in yourself, do not believe that you are the Maud’Dib but you are, sweet Paul. For I have seen it.”
“Tell me? What have you seen?” He searches your eyes for signs of doubt or deceit but all he sees is truth there. Truth and the same adoring look you gave him when he first saw you.
“I’ve seen you learning the ways of the Fremen. I’ve seen you move them, rally them. I’ve seen a battle in which you win. I’ve seen you upon the emperor's throne, ruling over all, with me by your side, our child in my arms.” Your hands travel from his chest to take his face in your soft palms where you rub soothing circles on his temples.
“You saw… all of that?” Paul’s voice sounded exasperated, like what you’ve told him took all the breath from his lungs. He feels like it has. The finality and bluntness in which you speak tell him that your words are true.
“Yes, and more. There will be plenty of time to tell you about it all. But right now? I need you.” Right as the words leave your mouth a gush of slick drips down your legs. The presence of your mate triggering your heat weeks early.
“Tell me what you need, omega.” His voice drops an octave, taking on that deep alpha tone. It makes your heart speed up as another gush of slick drips from your core. You can’t help but think what it would be like if he used The Voice on you. Regularless of how absolutely blasphemous that would be considered.
“I need you, alpha. I need your cock. I need you to fill me up and lock your seed inside me with your knot.” Paul lets out a growl before reaching out, one hand gripping onto your hip to pull you flush against him and the other going to the back of your neck so he could connect his lips with your own.
The kiss starts off rough, eager, and hungry. But after a few moments his lips become tender against your own, his fingers threading through your hair as his tongue swipes across your bottom lip. You grant him access, immediately intertwining his tongue with your own, moaning at the taste of him.
“I’ll give you whatever you want, my moon. Ask for it and it is yours.” He kisses down your jaw to your throat where he runs the tip of his nose along your scent gland, inhaling deeply. “You wish for me to make love to you? Then I shall.”
Paul pushes the thin straps of your satin dress down your shoulders, kissing along the column of your throat, your collar bones, across your shoulders. You drop your arms so the straps fall the rest of the way down, the dress slipping down your body with them. Leaving you bare before him aside from the thin black material of your panties.
“Absolutely beautiful, angelic.” He runs the back of his hand down your cheek, your jaw, your neck, all the way down until his back knuckles are caressing the tender peaks of your nipples. He slides it across your chest, giving the other the same treatment before taking both of your tits in his hands. He gently squeezes them, pinching your hardened nipples between his fingers, eliciting little whimpers from you.
“I heard your mother has been teaching you our ways. How is your training?” Paul raises an eyebrow at you, certainly wondering why you’re asking him about that at a time like this. “I only ask because I was wondering if you might want to practice on me.”
“Do you mean…?” He looks at you with wide eyes and you smirk, biting your lip.
“That’s exactly what I mean. I can feel your apprehension, don’t be afraid, I want this.” You lean into him, smashing his hands that are still on your chest between your bodies as you lean up to you run your nose along his scent gland, darting your tongue out to taste the sweat and spice that coat his skin. He grabs onto your shoulders, pushing you back so he can look in your eyes, searching for any signs of doubt. But as every other time he’s looked in your eyes tonight, he’s seen nothing but honesty there. Nothing but truth.
“Get on the bed on your back. Spread your legs.” Your body immediately reacts, doing exactly as he asks. Paul approaches the foot of the bed, standing between your spread legs. “That’s a good girl.”
His hands grip onto your knees, pushing your legs further apart, leaning down to shove his face between your legs. His nose runs along the soaked material of your panties, deeply inhaling the sugary sweet smell of your slick.
“Alpha, please.”
“You do not have to beg, my moon. I’m going to give you exactly what you want.” Paul smirks up at you before lacing his fingers into the band of your panties and ripping them in half. He runs his tongue up your slit, circling it around your sensitive clit. The feeling of his hot wet mouth has you coming undone instantly, your slick gushing all over his chin and down his neck where it drips onto his shirt. He moans at the taste, sweeter than anything that’s ever graced his taste buds. “Yes, that’s my good little omega, give it all to me, let me drink in your sweet nectar.”
He dives back in, shoving his tongue as deep into your pussy as it can go, fucking you with it. His lips come up to wrap around your clit while his fingers circle your dripping entrance. He runs his fingers through your folds before shoving them knuckle deep inside of you.
“Oh fuck! I’m going to cum again, I’m gonna cum.” You move your hips against his face as he curls his fingers against your sweet spot, your legs clamp around his head and your entire body shakes as your high washes over you. Paul pushes himself up from the bed, ridding himself of his clothes before climbing back over to you, situating himself on top of you with his hands on either side of your head. His hard cock is resting against your lower stomach, the tip leaking precum onto your skin.
“I want to taste you too.” You run your fingers through his hair, pushing it out of his face. You didn’t even care that the ache between your legs wouldn’t be satiated until he was inside you, you needed to taste him.
“Next time. I need to be inside you now.” It comes out a soft whisper, his forehead resting against your own. He reaches between your bodies, taking his cock in his hand and lining it up with your entrance. He connects his lips with your own, kissing you passionately as he begins to push inside you. You both moan as he bottoms out, his hips flush against your own. You wrap your arms around his shoulders, slipping your tongue into his mouth as his thrusts begin to pick up.
“Mmm you feel amazing, my love, my lord, my emperor.” Paul looks into your eyes as he continues to fuck you at a linguid pace, rolling his hips against your own as he pushes himself as deep inside you as possible.
“My moon, my destiny.” He picks up the pace, pushing up on his knees and wrapping your legs around his hips. Your tits jiggle with every thrust, the fucked out love sick gaze that you send his way makes his skin even hotter.
“I want you to fill me up, alpha. Fill me with your cum. Put a pup in me. So we can fulfill our prophecy.” Paul snakes a hand between the two of you, connecting his thumb with your clit so he can rub circles on it in time with his thrusts.
“Open your mouth.” The sound of him using The Voice makes your walls clench around him, your jaw dropping open at his command. He leans down, letting the spit that had collected in his mouth drip down into your tongue. “Swallow it.”
You swallow with an audible gulp. Your heart warming at the gesture that anywhere else would be considered lewd but here on Arakkis to share one’s sacred spit with another was a grand gesture of love.
“Thank you, my love. You taste better than the finest feast. I cannot wait to know what your cum tastes like.” Paul groans at that, his eyes rolling in the back of his head. His thrusts start to grow sloppy but he refuses to finish before you do.
“Cum for me.” As soon as the words leave his mouth your walls are convulsing around him, sucking him as your slick soaks his cock.
“Mark me, Paul. Sink your teeth into my flesh and bind us together as we are meant to be.” You tug on his arms, pulling his upper half so it’s draped over you, his face buried in your neck. His thrusts become slow and deep again, his cock hitting that perfect spot inside you.
“But Stilgar said…” He groans, using every ounce of strength in his body to not just sink his teeth into your soft neck.
“I do not care what Stilgar said. This is bigger than him. Bigger than all of them. Mark me.” His mouth moves before his mind can process what’s happening, his teeth sinking deep into your flesh, breaking the skin. The feeling is like nothing you’ve ever felt. Electricity washes through your body, the most world altering orgasm of your life wracks through you, and you feel like your soul leaves you, connecting with Paul’s before returning to your earthly vessel. He pushes his hips flush against yours, ropes of his cum spilling inside you.
“Oh fucking shit.” Paul groans, pulling his mouth from your neck, gliding his tongue over the indents of his teeth. He leans back to look at you, eyes roaming your face. His knot swells inside of you and a look of pain crosses your features before turning into one of ecstasy. Loud moans leave your lips as your final orgasm of the night washes over you. Paul leans down, connecting his lips with yours, kissing you like it’s the last thing he will ever do. Though it was far from it.
“I hope you are not upset with me, Maud’Dib.” You take his face in your hands, running the top of your nose along his cheek.
“I don’t think I could ever be upset with you, my love. I’d be lying if I said it didn’t turn me on when you used The Voice on me…” he chuckles, resting his forehead against your own. “I am so happy I finally found you…”
“You have me now, until the day I take my last breath I will belong to you, Paul Atreides. Together, we will accomplish great things.”
#paul atreides#paul atreides x reader#paul atreides x you#paul atredies smut#paul atreides x fem!reader#paul atreides fanfic#Paul atreides one shot#timothee chalamet fanfiction#timothee x reader#timothee chalamet x reader#dune smut#dune fanfic#dune fanfiction
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A Letter From Your Future Self
Hello!! It's been a long time! 2024 has been very tiring for me and I haven't posted in a while, so I am back with a PAC !
Close your eyes and take a deep breath. Open your eyes and choose the photo that you feel drawn to. 3 piles left to right. This is for entertainment purposes only, take what resonates.
Pile One
I know that you feel bored and dissatisfied in your current situation. The people around you make you feel left out and you're in a path where you feel emotionally starved. You might be contemplating taking a big step for your future and I'm here to tell you that you definitely should. But before that I want you to make a plan and stick to it so that you can get out of this situation gracefully. Firstly, you need to work on your time management. If you do that you're half done. Next, broaden your mindset. Once you take that big leap, you will understand how much you underestimated yourself. In fact I am thankful that you understand the state of your mental wellbeing and take it seriously. Remember that you are always learning and always growing so always have a learners mindset. Learning new skills and languages will really help you in the future. Nothing is impossible if you know how to make it happen. Don't let your achievements get to your head and be honest about your finances. Please get into the habit of budgeting. If you don't budget it will cause you to worry in the future. Budgeting isn't just keeping track of your transactions but also consuming mindfully. If you have a hard time managing your finances then take help from a trusted source. And lastly develop healthy boundaries, not too open but not too closed off either. Don't worry you will figure out all of it so take your time!!
-✉️
Pile Two
I just want to say that you are brave and capable of fighting all of your demons. You are so strong and resilient. I sometimes can't believe that I survived. It's because YOU did it all. In retrospect, the battle seems small to me but I know how hard it must be for you. You feel like you are in the trenches but you will definitely make it out, slow and steady. You may ask your angels and guides for help. Now is a great time to try engaging in spiritual practices and focusing on your health. You will be given amazing opportunities because you have amazing potential to earn wealth. So while the current situation seems like the opposite, I want you to look forward to what the future holds for you. You need to let go of what is holding you down. This is a rite of passage for you to sail to calmer waters. Trust me, the weight will be lifted because you are divinely protected. The struggle will end soon. You will gain victory over your fears and enemies. So tune out all the noise outside and listen to yourself and your calling. Grab the opportunities that the universe sends your way because that will be your path to a new life. Listen to positive affirmations and keep a journal for all your manifestations. You have the gift of manifesting your whole life. Do you understand how big that is? The law of attraction is very much real so start practicing it. Love you and take care <3
-✉️
Pile Three
You do so much work but you are still not in control. I know how exhausting that can be. You're working yourself to the bone expecting a better outcome everyday but it all goes back to where you began. First of all I want you to take pride in your work. You have always been a hard worker so it's no surprise that you are competent. However it's important that you understand how teams work. You shouldn't be doing all the work while the other(s) laze around. I know how much this matters to you which is why you go in and give your 100% but understand that sometimes it's okay to take a step back and let others do the work. You should not let them use you and your efforts and then not give you the credit. It's time to speak up. Ask for help from people you trust. They will guide you out of this situation. Make sure that you have a backup plan in case your confrontation backfires. Always have people around you who won't back down from supporting you. You are on the right path. Remember that you haven't done anything wrong. You are simply asking for what you deserve. With the amount of talent, strength, willpower and resilience you possess, no one could be more deserving of better treatment than you. In the end you will gain power over all those who overstepped your boundaries and snatched control from you. Don't be scared of fighting this battle.
-✉️
Thank you for reading 🌱
Here's a chakra healing audio just because :)
https://youtu.be/GnchFh0bMHU?si=gbOxoHd9RC9ziZQO
#pick a card#pick a card reading#pick a pile#pick a pile reading#pick a picture#tarot community#tarot reading#tarotblr#divination#intuitive readings#intuitive messages#intuitive tarot reader#intuitive guidance
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Just Look My Way
Can we please talk about the way the lyrics have changed from the original to showcase Stolas' growth and character development?
I was already surprised that what originally looked like it was just going to be a fan video ended up becoming canon content, but when I heard the different lines my mind exploded, you guys.
Note the difference, the major difference, in treatment!
In the original version, which released back in season 1 but before Ozzie's, Stolas' line was actually:
"Come now, my little impish plaything, we've both made our choice."
Keep in mind the original most likely included this line as a reference to what both Striker and Stolas said in regards to Blitzo's relationship with Stolas. Even our dear owl boy referred to him as just a plaything while saving him from D.O.R.K.S! Which most likely only helped cement Blitzo's internalised belief that Stolas would never see him as anything other than a cheap thrill.
Here, however, Stolas is cementing him as his dearest! A loved one! Someone he values and cares for! That is a huge difference from being just a sexual partner!
And the second line. OMG, THE SECOND LINE.
Unlike the original, where Stolas speaks of a choice that, realistically, was never there (as it usually is the case with relationships where there's a power imbalance and, moreover, were born out of transactional needs), this time he is reaffirming Blitzo's agency and independence. The implied choice is clear: Stolas will present the asmodean crystal to him so he no longer relies on his Grimoire and sleeps with him out of necessity. All that's left for Blitzo now will be to choose if he wants to remain by Stolas' side even then. And the choice is his.
As a quick aside, I also love the constant symbolism between Blitzo and the Moon.
Technically, compared to Stolas and the Earth, both are just satellites, nowhere near as important as a Goetia demon and member of Hell Royalty or a planet brimming with life and where beauty and wonder happen at every corner. And yet, without them neither can thrive. Stolas is as fascinated and dependent of Blitzo as the Earth is with the Moon. Without the Moon, there's no tides; it brings inspiration and romance to countless souls, brightening the night sky, just like Blitzo brightens Stolas' life.
Blitzo is Stolas' moon, and I just think that's beautiful.
Every word in this line in particular just oozes character development, too.
The original was:
"What's left for me in this broken house if I cannot have you?"
This is no longer about Stolas using Blitzo to escape his boring routine and his horrible marriage to Stella, it's about Stolas being deeply and hopelessly in love with Blitzo and not knowing what to do to convey that in a way that will reach him.
Once again, Blitzo has stopped being a mere plaything or boy toy and become so much more. He has become an essential part of Stolas' life he doesn't know what he'll do without but knows he'll have to let go of if that's what Blitzo wants!
Now, I must admit I am not exactly a fan of this change in these particular verses. On the one hand, I understand it's meant to reflect Stolas is trying to understand Blitzo and see things from is point of view, but I also feel it robs the moment of the raw feeling the original conveyed:
"Is this how she'd feel? Abandoned, all alone, left to fend for herself, for a semblance of happiness that doesn't have to end?"
"She" clearly referring to Via.
I just think it would have been more powerful to keep it and allow that juxtaposition between the most important people in his life to help Stolas understand Blitzo better. After all, he loves them both dearly and unconditionally, but his actions have also hurt them both very deeply.
I just think it'd be fitting if one allowed him to understand the other better.
Nevertheless, if there is something this song has taught me, is this: we are so not ready for the next episode.
#helluva boss#helluva boss spoilers#helluva boss season 2#stolas#helluva boss analysis#stolas goetia#helluva boss stolas#helluva stolas#blitzo#helluva blitzo#helluva boss blitzo#just look my way#full moon#stolitz#octavia#octavia goetia#vivienne medrano#vivzieverse#vivziepop#vivziemind
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obsessed with hoyoverse one-upping themselves every time they revisit Alhaitham and kaveh, they gave us a flashback of an intimate conversation in their home in cyno’s second story quest, and now we get a flashback of the two having a ‘private’ conversation in a ‘secluded’ place, where it’s casually dropped that kaveh programmed mehrak to recognise alhaitham’s voice ????
firstly, it’s very, um, INTERESTING that the flashback starts with a line which we have no context for, of kaveh stating that ‘we’ have more than a heartless, transactional relationship to alhaitham, presumably referring to him and Alhaitham. i feel like this lack of context is deliberate, as Alhaitham is the one to provide the context in the following line
this insinuation is !??!!? considering that kaveh has previously considered his and alhaitham’s relationship to be exactly that – a heartless, transactional relationship, in that he believed he owed Alhaitham something, and that Alhaitham expected something from him, when moving into alhaitham’s house
so personally I’m running with this line referring to mehrak, but also commenting on the progression of the relationship between Alhaitham and kaveh, I will make a more extensive post about this at some point!
But also this flashback scene provided us with apparently the very essential information that mehrak now recognises alhaitham’s voice <3
this is driving me a bit umm crazy actually!! Mehrak has been previously established as kaveh’s helper companion, and in his voice line he says that he hopes mehrak understands what he’s saying, which hints to his loneliness at the time he made it – after he moved into alhaitham’s house
and now we have a whole scene establishing how their relationship is not heartless, how kaveh feels terrible about having potentially driven it away from him, and ultimately how important mehrak is to kaveh, only for this to be followed by Alhaitham saying that he and mehrak have ‘met’, as if meeting a person, which to me establishes that he knows how mehrak is important to kaveh, and this culminates in Alhaitham letting kaveh program mehrak to recognise his voice
mehrak being emotionally significant to kaveh is being used to indicate the intimacy of Alhaitham and kaveh’s progressed relationship, as Alhaitham is the only other person whom mehrak recognises, and may even respond to – which highlights how important kaveh interprets the bond between him and Alhaitham to be
where kaveh used to be lonely, he now has integral bonds whom he allows himself to rely on, which corresponds to his understanding of a ‘home’
#haikaveh#kavetham#alhaitham#kaveh#genshin impact spoilers#LIKE WHY IS THIS AN INTEGRAL DETAIL WE HAVE TO KNOW HOYOVERSE?? WDYM KAVEH WANTS MEHRAK TO RECOGNISE ALHAITHAM#heavy family implications heavy narrative arc fulfilment#ALSO THE DAD STANCES??? they are disapproving and worried of their daughter's reckless actions#i know mehrak is canonically genderless but fanon has impressed upon me that mehrak is a she its irreversible#im not okay about this!!!
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Going Green
"Microtransactions!"
Charles looked around the board members.
"Micro. Transactions. Have you ever heard of that? Anyone?"
Slowly, heads nodded.
"Oh, good! So, you *have* heard of them. Does anyone care to explain to me then why our games barely have any? In fact, I have yet to see *any* microtransaction revenue from our latest release."
"But Sir, 'Orcs and Morcs' is a single player game - and not for a mobile platform, too. It doesn't even have an online connection. It would be highly unusual."
Charles M. Anderson cut the engineer up with a gesture. He didn't even know the other man's name, which wasn't too unusual. Even though he was the CEO of GreenGames for six months now, he didn't bother to learn his subordinates names until they proved useful. And this unnamed engineer could be happy if he still had a job after this meeting.
"I don't care about your techno-babble. Microtransactions is where the money is, so I want them in our products. *All* our products. And make sure to make them mandatory for any progress, too."
Charles usually talked about "Releases" and "Products". To him, video games were just a product like any other. Of course *he* didn't play any of those silly games, games were for children and losers. He only cared for the numbers, the graphs and revenues.
"What about the backlash? I mean, I understand that you want to generate more revenue, but GreenGames is known for providing high quality games that *don't* try to rip their customers off."
"So?"
"So, this could be bad publicity for us. Really bad."
Charles looked around the table and noticed most of the other board members nodding.
"Listen up, everyone. I think there is some misunderstanding here. You think that I care about our customers. I really don't, as long as they continue to buy our products. There is no such thing as bad publicity. So, I don't tell you how to draw your silly ogres and you don't try to meddle in the business aspect of the company, okay?"
Even though the inflection suggested a question, it was perfectly clear that it was neither a question nor a request. Again, heads nodded and tried to avoid eye contact. Good. Respect was very important for a leader.
One woman spoke up. Charles suspected her to be some lead writer or something.
"It's orcs, Sir."
Charles blinked. "What are you trying to say?"
"You said ogres, but our games are about orcs. That is our thing, we make games about orcs."
"There is no difference between orcs, ogres, unicorns and all that whimsy stuff. Leave me alone with your fantasy crap."
"But there is another thing. You are responsible for the story of our products?"
The woman agreed with a careful: "Yes, Sir?"
Charles looked her straight in the eye. "It has come to my attention that there are certain woke elements in our products. As a story writer, I expect you to take care of that."
"What... do you mean by woke? And by taking care of that?"
Charles sighed. Why was everyone so incompetent?
"Apparently, there is same-sex smut in our products, some even have pronouns. That crap needs to disappear asap. It is 'go woke go broke', after all."
The writer woman looked at Charles incredulously. "But Sir! Same-Sex romances are a well-accepted part of the industry for *decades* now. And it's not like the player has to engage in that, too. It's just an option - an option we actually received much praise for in the past. And about the pronouns... It's just a setting that influences some dialogues on how the player character is referred to. Again, it is perfectly possible to play as a straight green cis male if that's what you want to do."
Charles shook his head, his voice now dangerously low. "One more word of that, miss, and you can start looking for a new job. 84% of our customer base is male, and male customers want to see boobs, that's a fact. I won't tolerate wasting company resources on pacifying some noisy minority and alienating our main audience."
"But sir!" the writer woman objected.
Charles' look silenced her.
"One more word and you're out. We'll find another writer. Someone who does the job and keeps their mouth shut. This meeting is over. I expect results end of next week."
Nobody dared to speak up when everybody left the meeting room, and Charles returned to his office. What a productive meeting.
Just as he turned to his computer to check today's KPIs, he noticed a new email.
From: Employee Council
To: Charles M. Anderson
Subject: Going Green
Body:
Dear Mr. Anderson,
we here at GreenGames would like to take the opportunity to point out some concerns about your leadership role.
We have noticed a disturbing development since your takeover and would like to remind you of the values we stand for at GreenGames. We like creating games, and we identify with the work we do. Our players are important to us, and we strife to be open and accessible for everyone. Just like the protagonists in our games, we have honor and use our strengths to better the world. You in particular should be the living embodiment of this ideal. Please take this chance to re-think your methods and decisions and "go green" for real.
Sincerely,
The Employee Council.
Charles was outraged. How dared those subordinates criticizing him? He reached for his phone, ready to phone his secretary to find out who this "Employee Council" was but was interrupted by a ripping sound.
The right arm of his expensive suit jacket had ripped at the shoulder, which was unusual. He would have to have a stern talk with the tailor. Charles stood up and took off his jacket - or at least, he tried to. It was like the piece of clothing was way too small all of a sudden. He finally managed to get out of it, but only with several more rips in the fabric. Charles loosened his tie. He was sweating like mad, and when he looked down on himself, he was in utter disarray. His shirt looked like it was several numbers too small and as he was watching, one button after the other flew off with an audible "pling", exposing his torso underneath.
But was it really his torso? Not only was it *bigger*, it also looked way *hairier*. Charles had never been a man with much body hair, but now, he looked down on a stomach that was showing visible abs covered with a dense treasure trail of dark hairs. They continued upwards where they met with a true forest of curly dark hair that covered the slabs of pecs that were still growing as Charles watched.
He had to loosen his tie again before taking it off entirely. All of his clothes felt constricting, so, he peeled himself out of his shirt, too. His expensive watch was interrupting his growth painfully, but Charles was too occupied to notice, let alone care. With a dull cracking noise, the leather strap broke, and the watch flew across the room, hitting the opposite wall.
As Charles continued to grow, the chair underneath him creaked, but, again, he had other things to worry about. His lower body was still covered by his dress pants and shoes, but that was getting tight, too. His shoes especially were getting painful, and it was a relief when the front broke, exposing large muscular feet and toes. His pants were filled to the brim with heavy, muscled legs now, but there was another region where the capacity had been reached. His groin formed an obscene bulge. That alone would have probably fit - barely - but it was accompanied by an unusual feeling. Charles didn't *mind* his extreme change. In fact, the hyper masculine body turned him on, even. He watched as a dick print became clearly visible outlined against his groin, as his cock grew hard. It pulsed, once, and Charles felt a spurt of precum soak into his boxer shorts. A wet patch became apparent as the liquid seeped through his pants - all from a single spurt. His dick pulsed again, and Charles' head began to swim. The air in the room was thick with sweat and testosterone by now, and Charles groaned from arousal. Man, what would he give for a nice firm manly ass right now, giving him a lap dance.
Wait, what? Manly ass?
But it was true! Every time, Charles tried to think about sexy girls, but all that came to mind were men. Burly, hairy men, twinkish shaved men, green-skinned ogre-man. No, not ogres, he corrected himself. Orcs.
As he thought this word, his dick pulsed again and made Charles almost cry out from arousal. He couldn't restrain himself anymore. He *ripped* apart his dress pants and lowered his boxer shorts that looked like a pair of briefs on his massive body now, releasing a gigantic stiff rod and a matching set of heavy balls - along with a whole cloud of manly, musky smell that made Charles even hornier than before.
He closed his gigantic hand around his shaft and moved it up and down, in a slow, barely constrained motion. He had almost come by that one stroke, so horny was his mind. Fascinatedly, he watched as his cock and balls took on a deep, green color. It looked almost like a cucumber, or the penis of the incredible hulk. Or... an orc. As he moved his strong hand up and down again, the green started to spread in all directions.
Yes! There was no doubt: He was becoming a big, strong, sexy orc! Charles let all restraints fall away and started pumping in earnest now. With each stroke, the green spread, until his entire torso was of a rich green color. His head felt a pressure as his facial structure reformed, and his ears grew long and pointy. His hair lost darkened and grew out into a wild mohawk-like hairstyle. At the same time, a black beard sprouted around his entire jaw, underlining his masculinity.
Meanwhile, the green had swept across his arms and legs, quickly eliminating any leftover pink spots. The green color looked incredibly hot under the coat of dense, manly hair, and Charles felt himself getting closer. He grunted with each stroke like an animal and where his muscular green body touched the furniture or his executive chair, it left a film of manly sweat. Finally, he felt a short bit of pain on his ears and nipples, as small metal piercings appeared there: Short studs in his ears and small rings in his nipples.
That sent him over the edge. With a final bellow, he came, mightily. His large green balls contracted and his massive cock spew cum everywhere: All over his stomach, his chest, his furniture, even his face!
Charr panted in the afterglow of his orgasm. He was the epitome of virility and although he had just cummed all over his office, his mind kept creeping back to sexy guys again. He would be able to go again, soon - but that had to wait a bit. He used the remains of his suit to clean up a bit (although it was still clearly visible and smellable what happened here), stuffed his mighty tool into the cum-stained underwear and reached for the phone.
"Please send the board to my office, I want to issue an honorable apology, and announce our new strategy." He rumbled with his new, low voice. After a moment of consideration, he added: "And please send someone to install our games on my PC."
He rubbed his hands. This would usher in a whole new era for GreenGames - with the greenest possible CEO.
I have the feeling that a lot of companies could benefit greatly from a bit of a greener leadership!
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CapFriendly Alternative Sites MegaPost
(Last update: 07/27 - added CapSized.)
As we are all likely aware by now, the Washington Capitals have decided to ruin everyone's lives by purchasing and sunsetting CapFriendly. The site has gone dark as of July 10, 2024.
While the hockey community has experienced a similar loss before, with the death of Matthew Wuest and the subsequent loss of CapGeek, this is a markedly different situation that sets a troubling precedent - namely, that freely usable, public NHL data is now available to the highest bidder, who can then revoke access to the data at a minute's notice. Two things can coexist: we can be happy for the makers of CapFriendly that they are being compensated well for their services while also scorning the Washington Capitals organization for choosing to turn off CapFriendly entirely.
Under the cut, please find a list of free CapFriendly alternatives and other websites that contain NHL data. (In some cases, they are mostly free - however, most/all important information for lay analysis is available for free.) This list is dynamic and taking suggestions, so please feel free to send me any websites you find at @stereax and check the original post for updates!
PART 1: SALARY CAP TRACKERS
PuckPedia: The New CapFriendly
PuckPedia is the closest replacement to CapFriendly currently available. It contains salary cap information for all teams and players, draft pick information, several calculators including a buyout calculator and a pick value calculator, agent information, and more. They also run PuckDoku! The biggest strike against PuckPedia is its lack of simulators (Armchair GM, mock draft, or trade simulators); however, in the wake of the CapFriendly news, PuckPedia shared that an Armchair GM simulator is under active development. 07/05 Update: PuckGM is here! You can also react to prospective PuckGMs (thumbs up, thumbs down, laugh, think emojis).
CapSized: Labor of Love
Referred to me by @nonslipdoormat and billed as a "solo female developer's project" (nonslipdoormat IS said developer!), CapSized is a site that's designed similarly to CapFriendly. It has some features other sites lack, such as trade histories going back to 2003 (with some entries as old as 1964!) and a detailed transactions page again stretching YEARS into the past. The more you poke around, the more cool things you uncover. Its primary purpose is to be a "visual database", but calculators and an NHL GM mode are on the list of future additions. I'll be dead honest, I think this is my favorite cap-checker site because of all the extra utilities. Super excited to see where this project goes!
Referred to me by @reavenedges-lies. A "baby site" that has some of the basics of salary cap info, plus a buyout calculator, qualifying offer calculator, and trade proposal maker. The trade proposal maker is prone to error and seems to only be useful for graphics. It can be a useful site for some, but it would not be my first choice.
CapWages: CapFriendly Lite
Another alternative to PuckPedia that mimics CapFriendly in design and is more intuitive for users going directly from CapFriendly to an alternative site. Like PuckPedia, it now features a GM mode, but the GM mode is in beta and is not fully functional (it only shows contracts currently existing at the NHL level). Nevertheless, for checking salary cap info, it is very good and I recommend it. Also now has a buyout calculator.
CapSpace: Young Gun
BenchWarmers: Greenhorn
Similar to CapSpace but perhaps a little better in the design department. I like how, if you don't have an account, it acts like you're Kyle Dubas and has you watching Toronto and Carolina. Has a few neat stats (like "core four" which shows how much the four most expensive players are making) that I haven't seen easily replicated on other sites, but functionality is rather limited outside of that, which is why it's also not my first choice.
Spotrac: Another Salary Cap Checker
An alternative to PuckPedia for salary cap information. However, it lacks much of the information and functionality of PuckPedia or most other sites listed here.
PART 2: ADVANCED STATS
NaturalStatTrick: The Holy Grail of Stats
NaturalStatTrick, or NatStat for short, is a site that contains just about any stat you can think of for any team or player. It has a learning curve but is generally understood to be the most reliable stat tracker available for free. You can even view stats for individual games on it!
MoneyPuck: DTWoMeter and More
You know it from the Deserve-to-Win-o-Meter or its playoff odds rings, but MoneyPuck has a lot of useful data as well if you do a little browsing. Generally, I've heard that MoneyPuck is less accurate than NatStat, but is easier to use, especially on mobile.
HockeyViz: "If I Ever Sell, I Failed"
Home of the Simple Hockey Charts, HockeyViz has a visual for just about every stat out there. You've almost certainly seen some of them before. Most of them are completely free to the public! They're super useful for visualizing stats as more than "just numbers", allowing you to see exactly WHERE things are happening on the ice.
HockeyStatCards: GameScore Kings
Again, you've probably seen HockeyStatCards's GameScore charts. Using data from NatStat (see above) and an algorithm created by Dom Luszczyszyn, it provides a simple GameScore number that tells you whether a player is having a positive or negative impact on the ice for every game in the NHL.
PART 3: SPECIALIZED SITES
NHL Armchair GM: Building Rosters
This site allows you to Armchair GM a roster. Notably, it has a steeper learning curve than CapFriendly and does not have a forum or other way to easily save and publicize your Armchair GM moves. However, it can be useful to make Armchair GMs and have visuals for them.
NHL Entry Draft: With the First Overall Pick...
This site contains a ton of draft resources, from a mock draft simulator to scouting reports. Definitely a useful site for those who are interested in the entry draft. I've seen a couple of mock draft sites, but this one seems to have by far the easiest and arguably most expansive way to use it.
NHL Injury Viz: Rulers of LTIR
Here, you can explore the relationship between the injuries of players, their cap hits, and how teams did without them. Very useful when you're arguing that a certain player going down doomed the team.
PART 4: MORE TYPES OF DATA
HockeyReference: The Good Old Days
Hockey Reference is best used for surface level data about older players. It has some trivia sections as well, for if you ever wanted to know all players wearing certain jersey numbers, sharing a certain birthday, or hailing from Alaska.
EliteProspects: Every League Imaginable
Want to know the roster of a third-tier league in Quebec? EliteProspects has you covered. Literally every league on the face of the Earth, currently existing and not, EliteProspects has info on. Any player you can possibly name, EliteProspects has their stats from atom hockey all the way to the end of their career.
HockeyDB: Another Spot for Stats
HockeyDB, referred to me by @reavenedges-lies, is another solid site for looking up basic hockey stats. Also has a ton of leagues, similar to EliteProspects. Has a hockey card feature as well that shows you cards featuring the player you've looked up, which is neat!
PART 5: FORUMS
HFBoards: Hockey Forums
Probably the most well-known hockey forum out there. If you want to talk puck on a more forum-like site, similar to CapFriendly's forums, this is the one for you.
PART 6: CAPFRIENDLY ARCHIVES
SergeiFyodorov's CapFriendly FAQ Drive
Curated by @sergeifyodorov. Originally posted here and sent to me by @fellowshipofthegay. Archives of the CapFriendly FAQs!
Got a site that's not listed here? Let me know at @stereax and I'll add it! Remember: While CapFriendly may be going away, hockey analysis is here to stay!
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I've been seeing so many bad faith takes from people who just. . .don't understand these characters or their love story, so here I am, taking them 1 by 1 lol
Let's start with potentially the lowest bar for Penelope
"I was rooting for Debling for Penelope!" aka: I didn't want Colin and Penelope to have their love story
Most of the justifications of this perspective come from the idea that an absent husband who leaves you lots of money and space for your hobbies is an ideal prospect. And you know what? You're right! For MOST women of the ton, this is an incredibly appealing proposition! That's why Cressida finds it so enticing. She wants what he can offer, a life away from her family (this is something she and Penelope have in common), a comfortable life in which she is alright with a lack of affection. I would argue most women on the marriage market during this time would agree. Marriage is a business transaction more than a fairy tale for them, for most women of this time, of the ton.
But Penelope is not most women of the ton. This perspective comes from a fundamental misunderstanding of her character. Her seeing marriage as a business transaction is her giving up on her dreams of being loved. People just assume that Penelope's greatest desire in life is to write Lady Whistledown, when this is absolutely not true. I even saw someone say that 'Penelope found her purpose'. But we know this is false
Because she says it herself. In Season 2, right after Colin talks to Marina and she calls him a boy caught up in his fantasies, the conversation is contrasted with Penelope, who tells him it's important to have dreams and fantasies, to be fanciful. And this *connects them*. It is the first truly open conversation we see between the two of them, and when he asks if she's found her purpose, she explicitly informs us what it is: Something that encourages her to be brave, and witty. Something that takes her far away from the watchful eyes of her Mama. Something that fulfills her.
Lady Whistledown is not any of those things. Lady Whistledown, sure, encourages her to be witty, but also encourages her to be cruel, to make painful decisions. Lady Whistledown does not encourage her to be brave, in fact, it only exists through her hiding and secrecy. And it keeps her beneath her Mama's thumb, as she is literally tied to the ton and it's going ons by writing it. No, Lady Whistledown is not her purpose. Writing is her passion, and I do argue that writing is ONE part of her purpose, absolutely!
But. . .what else?
Well. . . .love. Love and connection. *Love* is what inspires Penelope to be brave, Love and comfort with Colin encourages her wittiness, and Love is what will provide her an avenue for leaving her mum. Love is Penelope's greatest dream and desire. And I am NOT just talking romantic love here, but love of all sorts. Philautia (self love), Pragma (love of duty), Ludus (playful love), Agape (universal love), Storge (familial love), Philia (friendship), and, of course, Eros (romantic and sexual). Love with Eloise, Love in her family, Love and Respect in her community, and Love that is romantic and sexual in nature. Love with Colin.
But what Debling offers her is only one of those. He can only offer her a love of duty, respect in her community with a title, a pragmatic marriage with no passion, one in which she is expected to wait for him with fidelity as he lives his own passions, and she occupies herself with her own interests (so long as, very importantly, those interests do not make a fool of him, since he did, after all, dump her when he assumed she'd cheat on him when he was away) (cue me: 'is this your king????'-ing @ you all). I am flabbergasted that people would think Penelope would find happiness being alone and writing Whistledown as a married woman. . .when she did not find happiness being alone and writing Whistledown as a single woman. All that would change is her title, and that's not enough. She deserves better. She deserves more. She wants more.
When she asks him 'Could you ever love me?' he responds with several long excuses that amount to: No. No, he could never love her. He is too tied to his work, he does not know her. He has been talking to her for a week and had maybe what? 5 conversations with her about it? 1 of which was comparing her to a dead deer mounted on a wall (and I'll try not to read too much into the metaphor of Women shedding their names, a death of their old selves in their society, to become a literal trophy holed up in a rich man's house) and another was in which she insisted she. . .loved grass? Come on, people. Have a higher bar for this character you claim to like so much.
Another conversation they share is very telling, in which he asks about her hobbies. She informs she enjoys reading, and he finds it quaint, charming that she enjoys romances. But he does not find that in any way comparable to his own work. Debling respects Penelope as most men in his society respect women: as a pretty bauble with which to decorate his life. Not an equal. He is glad she has a quiet interest that will keep her where he feels she belongs: in his home, tending to his fortune and assets. He explicitly states he doesn't want a partner who shares his passions, who enjoys the outdoors, but simply an honest woman who will tend to his lair estate.
What Debling offers her is a life of pragmatism and expectancy, and in many ways, loneliness. Penelope would surely cultivate friendships in this time, but in accepting his offer, she even says she has 'come to terms' with what he can provide for her. Not that she is happy, not that it is what she *wants*, but that she has come to terms with it. That she will be content. She will fill her days with love stories she will never live, and write about the day to day of a ton that does not accept her. Maybe, just maybe, she can even have a family, and she, like her mother, like Marina, like other tragic women in her society, will find happiness in her children, and not in her own life.
But why should she? Penelope? Penelope wants love. Penelope wants acceptance and tenderness and passion, and that's why I am confident in saying that Penelope has not, in fact, given up on Colin. Not her love for him, at least. Her love for him has not faded, remains evergreen: we see it when she reads his journal, when she stands in the sun after their reconciliation and feels at peace for the first time in the season, when she laughs at his jokes, when she asks him to kiss her. She has given up on one thing only: her expectation of him fulfilling that love. And that's what makes it so heartbreaking that they're both pining for each other, thinking the other does not feel the same. Because Penelope knows (and she is RIGHT) that her and Colin have something special.
This is heart vs. head, and honestly, not even Penelope's head wants Debling.
The people who say they were hoping he and Penelope would end up together, y'all are Portia. Your expectations for Penelope are that she should be happy with money and a title and an absent partner. And then, the quiet part is 'She shouldn't be holding out for love'. She shouldn't be holding out for dreams.
But. . .why not? Colin is in every single way an amazing person for her. And he's proof that she should have held out, that waiting was worth it. That it had always been worth it.
Because it is *Colin* who is the gateway to all those forms of love.
Pragmatically, Colin has money a-plenty. He's in good standing in his society, he's rich, he's attractive, and he comes from a wonderful family. Furthermore, even from season ONE Daphne said that Colin can make an interaction interesting. He makes Penelope laugh, he's a good dancer, he's adventurous and loves to travel. And most importantly, he'd love to travel WITH her. Whilst Debling is attempting to narrow her world, Colin, in contrast, wants to open it to her.
Since her and Colin met as children, much of the start of their love story for him was first universal, and then familial in nature. When first her bonnet flew into his face and he fell, he had no reason to be kind about it, but he was. He has a kind nature. But then as they became acquainted, and she had a connection to Eloise, it morphed from his universal love and good will towards strangers, to that of a family friend. The comment that he sees her as one of his sisters was harsh, but it's also not BAD that this is a kernel of their love story. It bred familiarity with them, and lead into a genuine friendship. And my god, I could talk about their friendship for days.
Colin has been an amazing friend to Penelope. He checks in on her, he writers her letters, he asks how she's doing, he offers her his hand to lift her up, he refuses to let her speak badly of herself, he's protective of her, he finds her funny, he seeks her out because he values her perspective. Colin adores Penelope, and the last two seasons have proven it in so many ways. Even in his pursuit to help her find a husband, this is a selflessness he offers because he cares for her. His goal is not to curry favor with her, his goal is only to uplift her. He only wants to see her happy. He holds her in the highest esteem and sees her in such a beautiful light. And that leads into her self love, because what Colin said to Penelope in Season 2 Surely if Penelope can see me this way, surely I can as well-- that rings true for Penelope, as well. Colin loves her so dearly and sees her with such grace, that she is then inspired to bring that inwardly.
Debling is the death of her dreams, and Colin is her dream in fruition.
But it is also risky, and it is also, in some ways, foolish. He's not a sure choice for her, but he's the BEST choice. He represents passion and tenderness, he is the love story of all her books and fantasies. Because what Marina said to Colin, that he is caught up in his fantasies: Penelope is, too. That's what makes them such a good match. And so with him, she blooms. With him, she feels brave, and is witty, and will come out from her Mama's thumb and her expectations. And what's left after Pragma and Agape and Ludus and Storge and Philia?
Well. . .. It's Psyche and Eros, isn't it?
So, at the end of it, at the 11th hour, when Colin comes to her and he is honest, and he is vulnerable, and he doesn't know she feels this love for him and has for so long, and he spills open for her, Penelope knows she doesn't have to simply be content.
She knows she can be happy. Fuck your low expectations, she *can* and *should* have a love story.
And the one she lives with Colin is such damn good one.
#polin#penelope featherington#colin bridgerton#bridgerton#bridgerton season 3#god i love polin so much y'all do not even understand#me???? writing meta at 8 in the morning??? lol#new season same dolly#anti debling#lord debling#the way so many people just. . .miss the point#this one is my defending penelope post#be on the lookout for defending colin because god the way some of y'all misread my man. . .you do not deserve him
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Hii can you write an angsty fic with Daniel with these prompts: "Just play along, please!" & "I can't do this any longer, I just can't!"
Play Along | D. Ricciardo
Summary: You were in a fake relationship with Daniel, and inevitably, you started to fall for him. Unfortunately, those feelings weren't returned.
Warnings: angst, Daniel is a sweetheart and an asshole at the same time, heartbreak.
pairing: daniel x fem!reader (established fake relationship)
wc: 2k
thef1diary 1k celebration
Daniel walked over to your side and opened the car door, then extended his hand for you to accept. Once he helped you out, he closed the door behind you but didn't move a step away.
His hand came up to your cheek, the roughness of his palm only making you blush. You were easily mesmerized by simple eye contact, especially whenever he looked at you like you were everything to him.
Then, he slowly closed the gap between you, placing a short but sweet lingering kiss on your lips before moving to your cheek. "Daniel," you muttered, completely confused by his actions that you almost forgot to kiss back.
Bringing his lips closer to your ear, he whispered, "cameras are watching, pretend like you're in love with me."
Of course. That's where the affection sprouted from. You managed to put a smile on your face but you couldn't pretend to love him. It wasn't an act on your side anymore, you had already fallen for him a few weeks ago but he had no idea.
Daniel moved away, but offered his arm for you to hold, an action that only made others think you two were truly together.
Your relationship, or rather the contract, started a year ago. It was pretty straightforward, Daniel needed someone to play the act of his girlfriend, and you needed money. You didn't think much of it when you signed, only focusing on the amount you earned monthly which was more than enough to live comfortably. It was a win-win situation.
Before signing, Daniel took you out for coffee casually as one of his requirements was to at least be with someone that he would get along with. Even though you quickly found out he was one of the kindest and friendliest person you met, you never thought that you'd be the one catching feelings.
It was one of the rules he was adamant on, among multiple others. "You won't fall in love with me right?" He asked making you almost choke on your coffee then burst out laughing.
However, he didn't laugh at all, which was very unlike him. "Oh you're serious?" You asked, composing yourself. He nodded, "we can be friends sure, but I can't give you anything more than that so don't expect it."
"I won't, this is just a contract, a business transaction even," you stated, not knowing how much you would regret those words.
His arm was placed on your lower back as you entered the banquet hall. Truthfully, you had no idea what the event was about, only knowing that Daniel was a respected guest. He had invited you as his plus-one, and frankly that's all he needed from you.
Daniel was introducing you—as his girlfriend—to some of the important people of the night. But all you could focus on was the way his palm rested on your back, the heat noticeable through your dress.
When he spoke your name, you finally focused on the conversation happening in front of you. "Sorry?"
He chuckled at your confusion, "do you want to tell them the story of how we met?"
You two had a good story memorized, exactly for a moment like this whenever someone would ask. But, you started thinking about how different your lives would be if it were true.
"We met at a café, I was just trying to enjoy my coffee but he tripped over his own feet right next to me," you spoke, making Daniel's eyes widen because that wasn't the exact version of the story you agreed upon.
He still laughed and played along, like he always does. "Some could say I tripped just to get your attention." You playfully slapped his chest, "and you say I fell first but you did, quite literally."
"You might've, but I fell harder, quite literally," he let out a boisterous laugh at his own joke and you couldn't help but join him.
For a short moment, you forgot that there were people around you. But then again, the only time Daniel was this flirty with you was around others.
"That's adorable," the person who you didn't remember the name of said. You tuned out of the conversation again as it didn't include you anymore.
Once again, Daniel nudged you but this time the other person walked away but you didn't exactly remember when. "Is everything okay?"
You nodded but he didn't believe it. "Are you sure?"
"Yes, Daniel, I think I just need a drink." He smiled, "it's an open bar, let's go get one." He didn't focus on the fact that you didn't use his nickname like you usually did.
After ordering the drinks, he stood facing you, a smile on his face but you knew him well enough to know it wasn't genuine. At least not in this fake situation.
A few other people came up to Daniel for short conversations, and as you watched him laugh, you thought of how your last year was spent with him.
Daniel followed through on his promise of becoming friends when he showed up at your apartment one day with takeout bags in his hands, because you mentioned that you were really stressed lately.
While you didn't end up getting any work done that night, Daniel kept you company and diverted your mind away from all the stress. You remember how your stomach hurt the next day with how much you laughed.
Other times, he would spoil you. Despite the fact that he paid you for the act, and that too was a lot of money, he still bought you anything you wanted.
It started with going shopping with him, and he would carefully keep an eye on your likes and dislikes. Once he was confident in his choices, he would send you gifts even if he wasn't with you.
On your birthday, you were surprised with a large bouquet of roses, with various pieces of expensive jewelry. A few weeks before your birthday, you and Daniel went shopping and while you loved each piece of jewelry, you didn't end up buying it.
Unbeknownst to you, Daniel went back a few hours later to buy every single bracelet, necklace, and anything else you showed any sort of interest in.
After all that, spending time with him, you started seeing him more as a lover than a friend. The day you acknowledged that thought, you knew it would hurt to leave.
It seemed like zoning out was a habit of yours tonight, because Daniel had to call your name twice before you heard him.
"Are you sure you're okay?" He asked, showing a hint of worry in his tone. You looked around the ballroom, watching a few people dance while others were huddled together in small groups to converse.
You turned your gaze back towards him, "this is kind of boring, sorry, I'm just not interested anymore."
Instead of judging you, he nodded, "it is, do you want to leave?"
"What?" Your confusion made Daniel look at you with amusement present in his eyes. "We've been here long enough so we can leave. I'm craving fries and a burger anyways." He spoke casually.
Waiting for your response, Daniel brushed a strand of hair behind your ear, letting his palm rest on your cheek for a few seconds too long.
"Daniel," your own hand rested on top of his, and when you made direct eye contact with him, that's when your restraint snapped.
"We can stop by that one fast food place you like," he added to convince you but he had no idea of the inner turmoil that you were burdened with, finally becoming too much to handle.
"No, I can't, I'm sorry," you spoke, confusing him but you didn't wait for his response. Moving his hand away, you swiftly walked towards the exit.
Daniel wasn't too far behind, calling your name but you couldn't listen to him anymore. His voice was too sweet, too full of confusion, and you really wanted to go back. But you knew if you continued the act, you wouldn't be able to stop.
As soon as you were outside, under the night sky, Daniel rushed towards you and grasped your hand to stop you. "What's going on?"
You ran your free hand through your hair, trying to figure out the right words to say. "I'm sorry, Daniel, I can't do this anymore," you started.
"Do what?"
"Act. I can't pretend to be your girlfriend anymore, I know we had an agreement but I'm backing out now," you stressed, and Daniel held your other hand or else you would’ve been pacing back and forth by now.
"You can't leave whenever you feel like it. Just play along, please!" He responded, trying to understand what the reasoning behind your decision could be.
You shook your head, "I can't do this any longer, I just can't."
"Why not?" He finally decided to ask. You hesitated because you knew it was time to tell him the truth. “Because I'm in love with you, Danny, and we need to stop pretending before I think it's real on your end too."
Daniel's mouth opened and then closed, as he didn't know how to respond, "but-" he tried but you were quick to cut him off. "Is it?"
"What?" He asked, making you sigh, "is it real for you too?" You forced the words out, but when he didn't have a response, your heart broke.
This time, it was all your own fault. You knew he didn't feel anything for you, not like you felt for him, and by asking if he did, you were only setting yourself up for heartbreak.
"Exactly," you stated once the silence hung in the air for a few seconds too long. It felt suffocating, but you had to continue, "you told me that I couldn't fall in love with you, but I did. That should be enough of a reason for you to let me go."
Daniel couldn't find the right words, and you assumed it was because he couldn't disagree with you. He couldn't tell you that he loved you, he didn't, so he didn't say anything at all.
"I'm sorry. You're a good guy, Daniel, a great guy in fact, and I'm sure that you'll find someone else who's willing to play along. Someone who won't fall for you."
The harsh wind blew your hair, and perhaps you could lie to yourself and claim that the wind was the reason your eyes teared up. But, you knew better.
You looked at him once more, and right before a tear finally slipped out of your eye, you turned away. You didn't want to cry in front of him, even if he was the cause of it.
He found his voice, and called out for you. "Can I at least drop you home? You're gonna fall sick."
You smiled, but he couldn’t see your face so he didn’t notice how it didn’t reach your eyes, "no, thank you,” you spoke loud enough to the empty space in front of you. Your decision was final.
Daniel didn't watch you walk away, he turned in the other direction once he realized you weren’t coming back. He walked towards his car, as there was no reason to stay at the event without you. There would be too many questions and he wasn't ready to deal with that.
Especially not when he just found out that you were in love with him. He didn't know what to think, so he decided not to think at all.
Turning up the music to an unbelievably loud volume that prevented him from listening to his own thoughts, he drove away. While he wasn’t constantly thinking of you, the thought of you remained in the back of his mind, knowing that it would come forth to haunt him in a few days.
#di celebrates#f1 fic#f1 fanfic#f1 imagine#thef1diary fic#daniel ricciardo x reader#daniel ricciardo fic#daniel ricciardo angst#daniel ricciardo fanfic#f1 angst#angst
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Circe and Odysseus in Epic: The Musical
EDIT: DO NOT TAKE MY WORD AS THE 100% TRUTH!!
I took some classes and wrote a paper about ancient Greek culture, but I am in NO WAY an expert. Please read through the reblogs to see some good criticisms and discussion about this topic further. My point overall stands that you can't apply modern rules and standards to ancient stories, but my evidence is undoubtedly flawed! This post has been edited to try and better reflect this.
I'm seeing everyone pointing out the possible issues with Epic the Musical's deviation from the original story of Circe and Odysseus, and as someone who's studied Ancient Greece/ancient Greek myths a bit, I wanted to say some stuff about it. This will be a bit of a long one, so apologies for my rambling!
Note that I'm not trying to shit on SA survivor's perspectives and (completely valid) arguments. I'm just trying to offer some context surrounding the original myth and how it fits (or rather, doesn't fit) with a modern audience. If I'm wrong with any of this, feel free to call me out! Criticize the shit out of me! I like learning about Greek culture and myths and would 100% love to hear other perspectives on this.
So, a few points about Ancient Greek myths to kind of explain the context around Circe and Odysseus:
Greek myths often did not have good views/depictions of women. Women were very often depicted as conniving, selfish, sexually insatiable creatures. There are a few deviations from this trope, the most prominent of which being Penelope herself—she's basically the ideal Greek wife, staying loyal to her husband for 20 years and all that.
Adultery often only applied to women. Husbands cheating on their wives wasn't merely tolerated, but kind of expected. Men often cheated on their wives with various kinds of prostitutes, concubines, mistresses, etc. Although, sleeping with unmarried women (that weren't specifically prostitutes) or married women was still looked down upon. Women didn't have this same standard. They could only sleep with their husbands—hell, their husbands (and family) were pretty much the only men they could even interact with once some really sexist Asiatic practices were brought to Athens.
The original myth has Hermes very plainly lay out how Odysseus' confrontation with Circe will go: Odysseus will eat the moly, draw his sword at her, she'll proposition him, and Hermes directly tells Odysseus to accept. Basically a "sleep with her if you want your men to live" situation. (See this post for more specifics on this).
So, let's apply this to Epic: The Musical. Here's some reasons I think may explain the Circe myth being changed:
The Greek "women being evil" stereotype is... problematic. While I 100% understand that it's important to acknowledge male victims of SA, I don't think the original myth was focusing on Odysseus being a victim—I saw it more of an emphasis on Circe being a sexually selfish woman, as women were often believed to be. Changing Circe to be less conniving and evil deviates from the concerning Greek stereotype.
The SA in the myth is not actually very clearly SA. Yes, with a modern perspective, it absolutely is sexual coercion, but for ancient Greeks, not so much. It made sense to them that sex could be transactional, especially when gods were involved. It's already been established that Epic, while still generally accurate to the original myth, does change things relating to morality/themes in order to better align with modern Western ideas (i.e. OG Odysseus not being as remorseful and merciful, as that was expected of a Greek hero, but Epic Odysseus having more empathy because that's more modernly heroic). If something from the original myth doesn't translate well into modern culture, then it's understandable to want to change or omit it.
In the case that the original Circe myth wasn't SA (I'm not saying one is more right than the other, I'm just covering all the bases), then it wouldn't even constitute as cheating. Like I described earlier, men often slept with women that weren't their wives. Plus, being a goddess, she's already kinda exempt from being blamed if Odysseus slept with her—only women are ever really blamed for sleeping with (or being SAed by) gods, and even then, their husbands sometimes don't even give a shit. But modernly, we would not see it that way. To us, it's not societally acceptable for a married man to sleep with another woman (without his wife's consent, at least). While Ancient Greeks viewed Odysseus as a good (or at least okay) husband, a modern audience wouldn't. Making Odysseus loyal to Penelope and not sleeping with other women (assuming this wasn't SA, but again that's one interpretation) makes him the good, loyal, empathic, modernly heroic man that Epic is clearly aiming for. Repeating my last point: If something from the original myth doesn't translate well into modern culture, then it's understandable to want to change or omit it.
Applying modern perspectives on Ancient Greek society and mythology isn't worth it. Like, we all joke about Greek mythology/Ancient Greece being super gay, but it was often just what we consider pedophilia (it's called pederasty if you'd like to know more). Y'know the Hades and Persephone story? Like, the original one with the kidnapping? Yeah, that was kinda normal in some areas. The myth of Demeter and Persephone is tragic, yes, but it was so normal that a lot of wedding ceremonies included references/recreations of it! Girls got married off ASAP after their first menstruation to men of at least 30 years old. We don't tolerate that shit today (for the most part, at least)! But it was normal in Ancient Greece. Applying modern rules and standards to ancient culture just does not work.
Anyways, I'll shut up now! I'm gonna go keep listening to The Circe Saga lmao
#can you tell im a history major#seriously tho im not trying to shit on the opinions of SA survivors talking about this#the greeks were just kinda fucked up#greek mythology#epic the musical#odysseus#the odyssey#circe#circe saga#the circe saga#hermes#epic the circe saga#ancient greece#history
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Okay that hive mind Riddle this is soo hot. But hear me out, the colony is very important to and in an effort to maintain peace, they rotate who gets to breed you on a schedule. They're 5 of them and that gives you 1-2 days grace period for "me" time. And Riddle is a major hard ass on the schedule.
"No, Ace. You know you have mondays and you should have planned around that."
The schedule is as follows:
Mon- Ace, Tue- Cater, Wed- Deuce, Thurs- Trey, and Fri- Riddle
Because Cater and Trey make a point to clean you up at the beginning and end of their days so that's why
Sorry, Idk why Im soo fixated on how they're set up
These are excellent thoughts aaaaa!!! <3 not only does breeding you on a schedule keep things organized and allows you to slowly but surely adapt to the way the hive works, it also boosts morale for the aliens themselves. Relief sweeps through the rest of the hive seeing their new Queen soft and round with new clutches. Now they won’t have to worry about the dangers of going extinct.
Ace and Deuce, while younger than the other three, are perhaps the easiest to approach. Deuce is friendly and so is Ace (though usually when he wants something from you). For a while, your relationship with Ace is one of transaction. Deuce makes sure you’re always prepared and taken care of before, during, and after breeding. You look forward to the days with him because he treats you so tenderly. He tries to tell you in what limited human speech he can use that that’s how he was brought up. It’s important to treat one’s mate with respect and admiration.
Ace, though childish and seemingly more interested in your body than you, gradually warms up to you. He can’t let Deuce outshine him, so he starts making an effort. He sees how much happier it makes you when he sticks around after breeding you, when he gathers snacks for you, when he talks to you, etc and realizes he’s been a terrible mate so far. Now he’s improving himself and his methods have changed. He genuinely wants a connection with you, even if he slyly skirts around that truth when asked.
Trey and Cater are much more mature than Ace and Deuce. They look after you in their own ways, though no one can beat Trey when it comes to that. He’s a natural caretaker, always putting you before himself, but you think he has ulterior motives for this. Gaining your trust would definitely be one of them. You’re hesitant to open up to Trey because of this. Cater makes it easier but not by a lot, if only because his constant fawning over you feels…superficial sometimes. Even though you realize your appearance in this hive makes you a curiosity for everyone else, it still manages to embarrass you just a little when he smothers you, calling you cute in his native tongue. At the very least, you appreciate how both he and Trey will go out of their ways to ensure your safety on their allotted days.
The dynamic between you and Trey sometimes borders that of a pet. He loves to wash and clean you, and he prepares delicious meals for you. You keep expecting him to put a collar on you next. Cater already has the cute nicknames covered. There’s a very clear divide between you and them. You receive the treatment of a beloved pet, but when it comes to breeding you’re used for your intended purpose: to carry their young. It’ll take time for them to view you as a mate they wish to keep forever and not just a convenient hole to keep their young safe and snug.
And Riddle!!! Riddle is probably the most anxious and high-strung around you. He’s devoted to his schedule, to the rules of the hive, to doing everything in accordance with tradition. Sometimes it feels controlling, but he really only ever has your best interests in mind. He’s so infatuated with you and adores every little aspect about you! From the way your human toes curl in pleasure to the way your human voice wavers with soft gasps and groans to the way you leak salty liquid from your pretty human eyes when something feels good or hurts. It’s all so fascinating. He wants to learn more.
When he isn’t using his days to breed you, he’s spending that time studying you, courting you, enjoying delicious foods with you in what feels like the equivalent of a human tea party. Though he has a temper and can get frustrated, it’s never directed at you. In fact, he’s overwhelmingly gentle when he handles you and surprisingly respectful. Just,,, please forget and forgive that first day he met you, when he’d been so desperate for a Queen he’d dragged you back to the hive and knocked you up with a clutch. >_< it was all purely for survival!
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Any of your demon OC’s reaction to being summoned but the magic feels powerful so when they get there they expect maybe a collection of wizards but instead it is a very drunk person(reader) who seems very confused but also isn’t against having this very attractive demon in their house.
[I mean, at this rate you could just summon an Icon. But let's not go there yet. Why not Vorago?]
The difference between Vorago and many other demons is that, most of the time, he's ready to be summoned. As the firstborn of Queen Vorticia, he has to be available for a myriad of public contact and more nitty-gritty transactions that his Mother is all too happy to distribute between her many children. The eldest takes on even more work than necessary, purely to train himself for the future, wherein he may rule Gluttony.
So, when Vorago senses a rift opening with a request for him, the royal glutton merely brushes his outfit, adjusts his mane, and stands appropriately, waiting to be transported. It's no shock to him that a rather surprising amount of magic is used during these instances, you do not simply summon a royal without obtaining much training in the field, or on your own for that matter. While the process takes place, Vorago searches his head for who this might be. The blood signature utilized doesn't ring any bells, so it might be a first contact summoning. Giving a good impression is more important than ever if that truly is the case.
Vorago steps into the rift with an adequately serious expression and a hand behind his back, expecting some kind of fanfare or overzealous greeting.
There are few words to describe his confusion at the sight that greets him. Astonishing, really, as he considers himself verbose.
The prince finds himself in a rather homely, completely informal setting. Someone's house, he deduces, given the smells present, the well-worn furniture. No group, no organization, no sect, not even a pair is there to receive him, only one human.
He sniffs.
One very intoxicated human.
He can only wonder what's happening to you, where you hail from. How you've gotten to this point.
The glutton stares hard at you. Something that another summoner may find rude of him, but you're hardly composed enough to notice. There's no incredible, burning desire within you. You don't stink of desperation and madness, you aren't covered in sin.
You're just a human woman, meddling with what most definitely doesn't concern someone like you.
" ... O- " You finally seem to notice there's someone else in the room. " Oh? "
" Oh. " Vorago parrots, feeling a brand new crease form on his forehead.
Silent moments pass.
You really should blink more, he assumes your eyes are losing moisture from the moments where you stare at him blankly, like a donkey.
" I suppose, when you're sober, you'll gather the wits to grovel... "
Vorago isn't particularly cruel, but he'd be a bad example if he allowed summoners to think they can get away with this type of behavior. To summon a demon of royalty while entirely shitfaced is to cause great offense to said royal lineage. It can warrant more than death, it could set curses upon your loved ones. Vorago understands mistakes happen, but humans of all people, are too frail to afford these grievous acts of buffoonery.
So he needs to cause a healthy amount of panic in you, which he will, when you become sober.
" Hhmn? " You sluggishly tilt your head.
The firstborn takes a few steps forward on the borderline nonexistent circle you've thrown together on the ground. It's more of a misshapen oval, with not a tenth of the power you'd require to keep him properly contained. Really, Vorago could blow it away with a sigh.
He squats, using his hands to gesture and speaking slowly, the same tactics he'd use to make his toddler-aged siblings pay attention.
" Human. Listen closely. " No self-respecting prince would be stooping this low. " Now that you have made the mistake of summoning me, we need to establish a formal deal, so that I can leave. "
You don't offer much of a reaction for a while. Vorago sincerely wants to slap the back of your head. Though he imagines you'd tumble face first in a graceless display of alcoholism.
He can only tense hard when you spread your arms and latch onto his shoulders, running clumsy hands through his thick hair.
" Hahah... Hah. You're sooo cute. You should stick around. "
You're so fucking wasted.
The glutton is speechless, face darkening. He allows himself to feel this for a few seconds, ideas suddenly swirling in his head while an admittedly pretty human plays with his hair. The large demonoid shivers slightly. You'd look even better if you weren't so visibly drunk. For as much as he craves and writes about this type of contact between monster (demon) and human, he's never had the pleasure of experiencing it firsthand.
A small eternity passes before he forces himself to pry your small -Delicate, so fragile, so soft- hands away and rises.
" Any suggestions, summoner? " His tail swishes.
A grin tries to settle on your cheeks, it's struggling. " You. Me. The couch. "
Vorago has to run a hand down his complexion and breathe in deep. Oh trust him, that couch wouldn't survive. Still, this is no way to try his hand at charming a beautiful person.
" No. " He chastises. " I have a proposal. Do you read, human? "
This could backfire very hard. He knows this.
" Ehh, yeah, I guess. " You shrug. " Sometimes. When my favorite authors upload. "
Upload. The top eye in Vorago's head widens, his hope shining clearly.
" Then let's do the following. I provide you with written works, and, in turn, you act as a proof-reader, letting me know what I could adjust. "
Particularly how accurate his portrayal of humans and the opposite gender is.
" You write?! "
He almost feels offended that you're so surprised. " Yes. "
" Fuck yeah! "
He chuckles purely from how ridiculous this is getting.
Vorago nods, using a foot to disrupt the summoning circle and leaning down with an outstretched hand, the other reaching for a vial on his coat pocket.
" Brilliant. Allow me to collect your blood signature then. " Because you're too shitfaced to sign anything, he presumes. " You will be contacted so we can schedule our first meeting. "
Well, he thinks happily, no one can accuse him of having no references now.
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😇✨ Sugar Daddy Lucifer Morningstar X Gender Neutral Sugar Baby Reader ✨😇
SUMMARY: you're the king of Hell’s favorite influencer and he wants to make it very clear how much he appreciates you and loves your content, thus starting a transactional relationship between the two of you that slowly turns into something more.
WARNING: light stalker stuff going on for a little bit lol ┐( ̄ヮ ̄)┌ also some sugar baby catching feelings for sugar daddy nonsense
(also- i'm using the terms "sugar daddy" and "sugar baby" pretty loosely, and there are no sexual transactions in this story)
NOTE: I keep going back and forth between saying “livestream” and “video,” so just assume that in the story y/n mainly does livestreams and uploads them as videos later.
•You started out as a humble influencer in Hell.
•What you didn't know is that you happened to be the favorite influencer of THE king of Hell Lucifer himself.
•I personally headcanon that when this man finds something he likes, he REALLY obsesses over it.
•I can imagine him laying in bed with a cozy blanket and a snack, kicking his knees while watching your latest upload.
•Not gonna lie Luci got kinda stalker-ish in order to find you and know you in person.
•He is the king after all, so therefore he has ways to find and keep track of his people.
•It started as him sending you money anonymously as a way to give his appreciation to his favorite content creator.
•You'd sometimes get small donations here and there from different people, but you definitely noticed the big donations you'd consistently get. Even though they were all anonymous, you assumed they were all from the same person because it was usually always an absurd amount of money to donate to an influencer.
•While livestreaming one day you mentioned that you wanted to find out who this anonymous donor was and somehow do something special to thank them.
•Lucifer NEVER misses one of your livestreams and felt extra fanboyish thinking about his fav influencer doing something special specifically for him.
•He knew he couldn't just message you and say “I'm your anonymous donor” because he didn't have a public account. If he were to message with his anonymous account saying that he's the king of Hell you'd obviously think he was lying.
•HERE is where his stalker era starts. 💀
•Luci comes up with this convoluted plan that actually somehow ends up working exactly the way he wanted.
•He happens to “find” you at a place he knew is your favorite café just outside of Cannibal Town.
•He pretends to just be casually walking by (well, as “casual” as the king of Hell can be)
”Oh hey! I've seen a few of your videos, I like your content!”
•You're absolutely baffled that the man in front of you praising your content is Lucifer himself.
•Lucifer invites himself to sit down with you, and how could you possibly refuse.
(He knows using his status to get what he wants is a lil problematic, but he easily pushes any guilt aside cuz he gets to be in your presence. He honestly wonders why he hadn't done this sooner.)
•He uses this opportunity to ask you a bunch of questions he's always wanted to ask, as if this were his personal Q&A with you. You happily answer his questions and even ask your own, eager to get to know Lucifer.
•Eventually he asks the main question that'll set his plan into place.
“Have you ever done any collabs?”
Of course he already knows the answer is no.
•”I've never asked anyone to collaborate with me, I'm a little insecure and automatically think they'll say no.”
•”I'm shocked! I'd personally love to be in one of your videos!” He boasts.
•Even though you've been talking for a while now, your brain still hasn't been fully able to compute that you're not only talking to Lucifer Morningstar, he says he enjoys your content, AND he just said he'd like to be in one of your videos.
•”Wha- I'm sure you've got so much more important things to do!”
•”I've got spare time!”
•When he realized he was probably starting to sound desperate, he backed it up a bit;
“I'm not trying to invite myself into one of your videos, but what I am saying is that IF I were one of those people you were to ask then I'd definitely accept your offer!” He twiddled his fingers nervously under the table, his smile never faltering.
•”oH I mean I do want to ask you- I am asking you!” You become just as nervous as Lucifer, fumbling over your words a bit.
•Before you can say anything else he raises from his seat and extends his hand out in agreement. “Sounds good to me!” You quickly stand to take his hand and shake it.
•The two of you calm down a bit and start discussing times and dates, even though Lucifer knows he's just going to accept whatever day you suggest and cancel any plans that he might already have for that day.
•Lucifer's little plot went perfectly.
•The day came when Luci got to feature in a video with his fav influencer.
•The video blew up super quickly, you gained a whole new wave of fame.
•Not only was he in the video with you, but he also got to spend the whole day with you.
•Somewhere along the way he kind of forgot that he was with his fav influencer and started to feel more like he was just hanging with a friend…which, honestly, he hasn't really had a friend in a long time.
•Also- you had noticed that during the stream with Lucifer you didn't get any donations from your special anonymous donor who never missed any of your previous streams.
•THIS MOMENT is where Lucifer knows he could potentially ruin everything with you, but he wants to be honest.
•He tells you that he's the anonymous donor, and that he can prove it with receipts. He admits that he didn't just casually watch your content like he said previously, and that he's actually a super huge fan. He doesn't go into detail about the stalker-ish extent he went to find you though.
•You take a second to process everything.
•I think if it were any other man you'd probably be a bit weirded out. It's definitely mainly because he's the king of Hell, but also he's just so charming that it's kinda hard for you not to be flattered.
•Now the king of Hell is in your phone contacts and you've got a viral video of the two of you together that shows literally everyone that you know him, it all feels so surreal.
•You still get donations from him on your streams, they still say they're anonymous but you know it's him.
•Lucifer calls you ALL THE TIME, usually to talk about absolutely nothing and everything at the same time.
•Suddenly he started showing up at your door with random gifts. Usually things that you mention very briefly on social media.
•Like one day you posted a pic on your story of a cute pair of shoes that you'd like to have, and the next day he's on your doorstep with a shoebox in hand.
•This escalated to him taking you out to dinner quite frequently, and he'd always go out of his way to reserve a special private area or even book out the whole restaurant.
•Then he started inviting you to visit him. Movie nights at his place, or he wants to show you something new he made.
•Eventually it turned into you staying the night at his place sometimes. You'd fall asleep during movie night and he didn't wanna wake you, or your home is just so far away and he didn't wanna let you go home in the dark.
•THEN it became you staying at his place for multiple days in a row, and sometimes it felt like you practically lived with him.
•You’d always ask Lucifer what you could do to repay him for all of the stuff he does for you, and he just replies that your company is enough to satisfy him and when you aren't around he still gets to watch your new videos.
•After getting to know the king of Hell over the span of almost a full year, you've come to realize that he was a pretty lonely man before you met him.
•He almost never talks to his own wife, whom you aren't even sure is his wife anymore. He rarely talks to his daughter, and is terrified of not being a good enough dad to her. Most of his time is spent home alone if he isn't tending to somekind of personal royal business.
•You knew Lucifer meant it when he told you that your company is enough to repay him.
•Somewhere down the line, you've started catching yourself contemplating your feelings for him.
•Don't get me wrong, he's always made you swoon and get flustered. It's really hard not to when a handsome man is literally handing you everything you want on a golden platter.
•There are much more raw moments you have with him, when you're just sitting on the couch together and you start to think about your possible future together.
•You usually end up getting slapped with reality when you remember who it is you're looking at. The king of Hell.
•Being in a relationship with a man of such status could never be in the cards for you. You're aware that you're basically just his sugar baby and that's probably all you'll ever be.
•You were definitely fine with the transactional relationship between the two of you, in fact you enjoyed it.
•Now, with these feelings constantly creeping up on you it made everything so much more complicated, and it made it hard for you to be around him knowing you'll never be anything more to him than a sugar baby.
•Lucifer is a sweet man, but you know there's another side of him that's a powerful king. His wife was an equally powerful queen. You're not enough for him, he just wants someone to keep him company.
•What you don't know is that while you're sitting there on the couch next to him having an inner depressive episode, he's got a box in his pocket that he's waiting for the perfect moment to whip out.
•In the box is a flashy custom engagement ring that he wants everyone to be able to see from a mile away.
•That man wants to make you officially his and he has been trying his hardest to make that VERY clear.
•You're just kinda insecure and don't think high enough of yourself. ಥ⌣ಥ
#hazbin hotel#lucifer morningstar#x reader#lucifer#lucifer x reader#lucifer morningstar x reader#hazbin hotel x reader#king of hell#morningstar#gender neutral#x gender neutral reader#sfw#oneshot#imagine
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bunny!reader
only daughter of a ranch owner who is always away on business and may or may not be a narco. moved to the obx when she was really young. she misses home a lot, mostly because she had a pet tiger. dad taught her how to use a gun and she even has a couple of her own porque una nunca sabe. was called "conejita" or "little bunny" growing up bc she was always hanging out with the bunnies.
best paired with rafe because she's such a niña fresa. her dad's a narco (ALLEGEDLY) so it's safe to say that she has been spoiled her whole life. has never heard the word no and immediately fell in love with the luxury and class of figure 8. bunny is preppy, high maintenance and expensive. her dad has always showered her in money and expensive things to makeup for his absence so when rafe is giving her that AND his undivided attention, she's in love. is it freudian as fuck? maybe. is it real as fuck? yes.
rafe does step into the dad role a lot for bunny, especially once he moves her into tannyhill. its definitely freudian for him as well bc it makes him feel important and needed especially in season 3. season 1&2 she's like a trophy to him and she doesn't know where she stands because he's beating up all the guys she likes but he doesn't want to be her boyfriend (subconsciously knows he isn't good enough for her). season 3 is when he looks at her and decides that that's his girl, forever. whatever means necessary.
bunny lets rafe take the lead most of the time, but she's very calculating. friendship is transactional, which is why she's not really friends with the kooky girls. she has a few friends but she's very cautious and curious about everyone she encounters. they want something from her (some of the attention she recieves) while they offer nothing in return. bunny is shy and timid but people misunderstand her and think she's a bitch. she's not mean, but she can be. she's possessive and especially hates when rafe, or anyone for that matter, touches/moves her things around.
she and rafe both first fall in love with the idea of each other (rafe sees her as the divine feminine and bunny sees him as the american dream) which is why when they both display "unsavory" characteristics (i.e. rafes actual insanity vs. bunny's temper) it catches them off guard. they keep each other on their toes. like when rafe finds one of her guns in between his couch cushions.
she's upstairs doing her makeup and he's looking for his vape, damn near tearing the couch apart. then his hand hits familiar, cold metal. he calls for her once and she bounces down the stairs, a pout on her face.
"you made me mess my eyeliner up."
"what the fuck is this, hm?" rafe sets the gun on the coffee table between them.
"it's called a gun rafe."
"hey, hey. don't get smart with me, where did this come from?"
"it's mine." bunny takes it from him and shoves it back between the couch. "don't worry, the safety's on."
rafe studies her for a second. "where are the other ones?" she rocks on her heels and glances to the side before shaking her head.
"just that one." she plays with her fingers and he knows she's lying.
"okay." rafe chuckles, wiping his mouth with one hand before swiftly grabbing the back of her hair, tugging her through the house to collect all the guns bc he doesn't want his bunny to get hurt.
another moodboard inspired by @princessbrunette and @starfxkr (aka two of the sexiest blogs on tumblr.com)
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