#this took so long IM SORRY ANGEL

[nadvs]

okay so this is my first request ever on here lmao, but i LOVE ur writing and i was thinking about a fic of Rafe and reader inspired by “Pillowtalk” or “Like i would” by zayn. I can’t stop thinking about this man while listening to these songs😫

၊၊||၊၊||၊၊ PILLOWTALK / zayn

ˏˋ°•*⁀➷

we’ll go slow and high tempo, light and dark

Fucking Rafe is a mind-blowing blend of fast and slow, of hard and soft, and no matter how many times you do it, you’re enthralled by him and the things his body can do to yours.

He loves to go from slow thrusts to hard thrashes, from cradling your jaw to choking you, showing you just how much he loves you and how much he loves having sex with you at the same time.

i love to hold you close, tonight and always

His favorite positions are the ones where he can wrap his arms around you or have his face close to yours. Rafe thought he was always a guy who simply fucks, but when he meets you, he gets the hype behind the concept of ‘making love.’

Because that’s what it feels like with you. Like he’s using his hands and his mouth and his cock to show you how deeply and sincerely he loves you.

a place that is so pure, so dirty and raw

Things are so simple when he’s inside of you, so perfect and coarse and raw. Both of you forget everything and focus completely on pleasing each other.

When he’s settled between your legs, curving into you, whispering in your ear about how damn good you feel, you’re in another world. It’s your own special place in universe, somewhere only you two are lucky enough to be in.

fucking and fighting on

You fight as hard as you fuck. Sometimes Rafe can’t believe how effortlessly you manage to get on his very last nerve.

He swears you’ll kill him one day, but once the argument gets heated enough that his lips are on yours and your fingers are tangled in his hair and his hands are on your hips, he realizes you also make him feel like you’re giving him the breath to stay alive. He needs you and you need him just as badly.

[bluegiragi]

mission start!

gain early access to all my content on patreon!

[jinstronaut]

jin's bread cheek smile, for @sampleofmypasta ♥ (cr.appletape)

cc's for palestine masterlist | request here

[fresanita]

Angel Dust Turns Human pt5

"Alastor & Angels Background 2!"

Pt1

Pt2

Pt3

Pt4

IM SO SORRRYYY!!!🧎 omg, my classes were absolutely becoming my lifestyle for a moment! It's not even bad. It's just REALLY time-consuming💔🙏 Istg u can tell it took a few months bc of the artsyle change midway; there were so many mistakes but idec anymore☹️ pic 3 is not "buy my time" it's meant to be "BUT my time"!! Also idky I basically drew Alastor w tit pecks on pic5, but I'm not fixing that😣‼️ there are other mistakes but SHHH!!

This part was meant to have more images, but there's a 30 pic max on here, so it's gonna be split in half☹️👍. I tweaked so hard drawing these bc I tried to do this on a bigger canvas for better quality, and the amount of glitches on my tiny ass laptop was insane😒...it deadass deleted a whole layer w several panels that was the ending which I spent the whole day on, but it's okay cuz I redrew it🙂 (FUCK MY LAPTOP FUCK STORAGE AND FUCK THAT I CRIED THAT NIGHT AND DIDNT WANT TO STARE AT THAT SHIT FOR 2 DAYS!!!)

Anyways YAY!!!😁😁🙏 I'm so glad to finally be able to draw moments where alastor and angel are getting a bit closer! I know Alastors interest or consistency w accompanying Angel seems ooc and THATS BC IT IS💔‼️ Self indulgence w a hint of desperate explanations.

Antoní as a kid, finally opens up about home life (not rlly🤫) and Alastor offers a branch to hold onto, furthering Antonio's trust🫶. Antoní is PLATONICALLY blushing bc he's a bit embarrassed thinking, 'Wow, sir is so cool and nice, now he wants to hang out w ME?' He's flattered at nothing☹️ (FATHER ALASTOR FATHER ALASTOR FATHER ALADTOR)

Tag list: @diffidentphantom

[erwinsvow]

hii idk if request r open but what abt rafe going down on u after just getting his buzzcut and u try pulling his hair but u cant so u start whining abt it and get a little teary eyed cuz u love his hair n then he promises to grow it back for u🥹☝🏼

you try to sit up for a moment, but rafe's still having his way between your legs, so you end up thudding back down against his sheets, a stray moan leaving your mouth.

you do what you always do—run your fingers through rafe's hair and try to push him closer, or sometimes further away when it's getting to be too much, even though you're not nearly strong enough to actually do so, but today your fingers fall short. they're searching for what they usually find but are being greeted by nothing but the short hairs of rafe's new buzzcut.

you flop against the sheet, trying your hardest to shut your legs.

"rafe-" you get out, and he takes it as a sign to keep going, to go harder. you let out another moan but are determined to get him to listen, closing your thighs around his head. he finally looks up, mad that you're trying to get him to stop, eyes blown with lust, mouth wet with your juices. you bite your cheek, wondering why you would ever make him stop when he's like this.

"what? m'busy."

"this isn't the same."

rafe looks back down at your pussy, and then back up at you.

"looks the same to me."

"no, rafe, your hair. this isn't the same. it's no fun now," you whine, face twisting into a sad pout—really, you are sad. you think sadly for a moment there's nothing you like more than rafe's long hair.

"no fun? really?" rafe pushes in two fingers to your wet hole suddenly, making you gasp and clench around him. "she's having fun. i can tell. look how fuckin' wet you are."

"i-um, oh-" rafe adds a third finger, pushing in and out of you quickly. you can't stay still, head tipping back, noises spilling out. rafe mocks your moans.

"no fun. shut up."

he makes you cum twice like that, probably just to punish you for even acting up. you take it without a complaint after that. later that night, when you're about to fall asleep, you feel the soft press of his lips on your forehead.

"it'll grow back, kid, don't worry."

[shittypepsispritedaily]

DAY 39

[ouppi]

𝒓𝒂𝒘 𝒎𝒆𝒂𝒕 𝒂𝒏𝒅 𝒂𝒏𝒈𝒆𝒍 𝒕𝒉𝒆𝒎𝒆𝒅 𝒔𝒕𝒊𝒎𝒃𝒐𝒂𝒓𝒅 𝒇𝒐𝒓 @flesh-of-the-hare

˚₊· ͟͟͞͞➳❥  🐇 🥩 ☁️ ┃ 🩸 👁️‍🗨️ 🩸 ┃ ☁️ 🥩 🐇

[puckpocketed]

caps fan here!

as follower of pld (the few, the proud, the courageous!), i was wondering if you had any thoughts about how he might fit in with our team, assuming he's going to be 1C with Ovi on the left and one of Wilson or Mangiapane on the right, and basically taking the former Kuznetsov/Backstrom spot on the halfwall on PP1. my thinking is that he can easily return to being a 60 point player just by the increase in ice time alone this coming season, and maybe even flirt with 70 if he has a triggerman like big O on his wing.

as someone who knows a hell of a lot more about PLD than i do, is that just wishful thinking because i'm a caps fan? what do you think?

The PLD Post, Part 2: mask-OFF

Hii!! (we are SO brave and SO correct). i am so sorry this took ages to answer, i was trying to decide how serious to be. I will admit, I was hesitant about going mask-off and hitting up the microstats and revealing that i do seriously think he can be better than he was bc that shit is kinda lame ESPECIALLY when defending a clear failhorse. but at this point any rep i have as someone with good opinions must be gone considering how many media scapegoats i've attached myself to (i got a fucking. c.gauthier ask the other day aslkjdkljas) so. mask is coming off. we've hit somewhere between well-considered manifesto and vibe check so . um. enjoy!!

I remain optimistic going from everything I've heard and from what you're saying here! But, big big asterisk. He absolutely needs to take ownership of his lack of engagement. when he speaks in media availability I believe him when he says he wants to change. The will to change is there, idk if it’s possible that any player would be satisfied with their performance being the way his was. There’s a lot that needs to be unpacked about his lack of production, the Character Issues, and what his role might look like going forward. You and any other Caps fan who reads this will have to tell me if the fit is right. Hockey talk below the cut lol!!

So before I start I have to say I know dick all about the Caps except:

You're dragging that old man (Ovechkin) to Gretzky's lawn (record) to set it on fire (break it before he retires)

Everyone is pining away for your very very injured 1C who is also Ovechkin's boybestfriend/perfect set-up guy/work wife

There's. intricate pre-game rituals?

So I'm not sure I can speak to how he will fit with your (our? i AM picking the Caps up fr given every acquisition/draft pick they've made) team with any depth or specificity. also i don't think i'd call myself a PLD expert. like. i just got here !! I haven't been following him since he was drafted or anything!! I have, however, consumed TOO MANY Kings games this past season and I can give you a broad look at what actually happened with them and why I think it didn't work out. I will not be making any overtures about being unbiased. My biases WILL slip through because I think Dubois is a sweetheart and I find the mental exercise of defending him fun <3 I’ll give you stats and observations and I will build a story that runs counter to what the prevailing media narratives say. While I stand by my opinions, they're also just one of many available interpretations of what happened.

character concerns

Everyone will be bringing it up at the first speed bump of the season, the first bad game he has. Please be prepared to have a crisis of faith and also be deeply disappointed in him. god knows I am, like, all the time <3 But... I always want to dig deeper when it comes to dominant narratives, because in following multiple teams I’ve become acutely aware of just how miserably Bad media can be at reporting on teams that aren’t their own.

I hear “Locker room cancer” accusations bandied about and I’ve yet to see anyone produce a primary source for this — podcasters, journalists, even people on nhl broadcasts will throw these words around so casually, assuming they’re correct because everyone knows the story. Some confounding factors in the character narratives arise when you scratch the surface. People who've worked with him speak well enough of him. Todd McLellan called him “misunderstood”, and had nothing bad to say about his character.

Matt Roy, who also just got picked up by the Caps, has recently said he’s a great teammate. MORE proof if you want to hear it directly, Roy went on Dropping The Gloves and had this to say about Dubois (transcript by me):

[on what actually happened] Honestly, I don’t know. I mean if you asked him he would say he had a down year. But it’s nothing like — I feel like the media paints this picture of him, and to me it couldn’t be further from the truth, you know. He’s a great teammate, he’s a great locker room guy, he gets along with everybody. So, in terms of all that I don’t know where the media is getting all this stuff. If I hated the guy I probably wouldn’t have come to Washington. He’s one of my friends on the team and I really think he’s going to have a bounce back year. I think he’s really going to be good for the team.

Matt Roy signed with the Caps of his own free will as an RD, a contested free agent in a sparse market, knowing Dubois was already here. He could’ve gone to plenty of different places. Why the hell would Roy sign here long-term, clearly wanting to play and win, if Dubois was as disliked as some pundits would have us believe??? Credible reports (and not just speculation) point to PLD’s other teammates liking him!! 

And here’s some propaganda; I direct you to this extremely sweet video where he gets asked about assisting on Akil Thomas' first NHL goal (and a bunch of other first NHL goals). He is so, so genuinely happy for Akil, who battled through injuries that set back his development for years. Just LOOK at his smile!! He can’t hold it back. (Others have said this but it looks like a little v. Like :> !!!! HELLO !!)

How does all of this happen when, supposedly, he’s a low-character asshole and a “locker room cancer”? It doesn’t line up for me.

On the other hand, I have seen Dubois cruise. He really can’t seem to bounce back from a poor start, and if you were just looking from the outside in, the scoresheet this year reflects this. The critique is fair; I’ve turned this over in my head enough times. there are less physically gifted, less skilled players, who are working so hard to stay in this league, and Dubois’ poor showing does feel somewhat like, idk, something I’d be mad about usually.

Here comes the “but”. Call this next bit the narrative section, because I’m showing my ass here: I think Dubois gets a lot of scrutiny because of his infamous Shift, which went a specific kind of viral, under the exact right conditions, and it has just. defined his career. And okay… I am not denying that the shift happened, but plenty of guys in this league have taken shifts off. come on. the season is long and they're only human. I’m not excusing it either! It was bad and he deserved his benching. Ideally, he one day becomes a player who always puts effort in. Working hard is one of my favourite traits in any player, and usually this would be enough for me to dismiss him as not worth being invested in.

and yet…. the reactions to his floundering performance feel so much like they’re about expectations as seen through the lens of The Shift. They’re calibrated differently because he went 3rd overall, and he's got this big body, the speed, the skill — it's the fact that he's got the tools and seemingly squanders them. All of this is amplified by the contract he's sitting on and his run of short-term stays on teams. Does he get this much scrutiny if he went in the 2nd or 3rd round? Does he catch this much heat for his low energy performance if that one shift clip hadn’t done all that damage? We’ll never know obviously but . I do wonder.

Final word on the character stuff is that we don’t know what truly went on in those locker rooms and i don't want to give more air time to baseless speculation. What we can examine is the hockey. The hockey tells the truth <3

the 23-24 la kings

Assuming the plan is to give PLD a look at 1/2C while he’s on the Caps, I think he’s a complementary type of player. The way he is right now, I don't think he can drive his own line or pull people up. He works with the calibre of lineys he's got and will produce the expected outcome. That sounds so obvious, but what I’m saying is I don’t think he’s capable of miracles like the best playmakers in the league, he's not about to make your guys look 15 years younger. In this vein, I look at his many first NHL goal assists as a symptom of what kind of linemates he was being paired with all season, and how unstable the situation was. His drop in point production IS more complicated than "he's just a piece of shit". From this article, the best summary I've seen of the Situation PLD was in:

LA acquired a player who had been a top-six center (and at times, winger) his entire career playing with established NHL talent. Yet after investing multiple assets to acquire Dubois and sign him to a significant contract, the team decided to put him in a third-line role where his most common linemate was a first-year NHL player who wasn’t expected to be on the roster in Alex Laferriere. Those two had a revolving door of wingers throughout the season. Moreover, Dubois’ most common on-ice teammates after Laferriere at 5-on-5 this season were Matt Roy and Andreas Englund. Gee, I wonder why he didn’t produce?

Context about Roy and Englund: Roy is a quiet but capable d-man who is defensively geared with a bit of offensive upside (j'adore. does things the right way and is very responsible and good. will throw hits but doesn't chase them or headhunt. I think playing away from the Kings’ more passive system will unlock more of his offensive potential. Matt Roy you will be SO good for the Caps I truly believe mwah mwah); and Englund is a leg weight/goon who, going by every single stat I can pull out, makes his d-partners Worse (with affection <3). Point here is neither of them being on the ice was particularly conducive to a lot of scoring chances.

As I said in my previous post, I think Dubois absolutely needs finishers. At some point there was hype around his shot but I didn't see much of that at all on lak? Eye test says: he was unwilling to shoot, and when he did shoot it felt like there was low/no commitment, no power behind it. Comments on his shooting called him “too deferential” at different turns. That’s just an insulting way to say a guy likes to pass and I truly think it circles back to the expectations thing. Would there be anything wrong with him not being much of a shooter this past season if he was another player? (Can't we just say he passed a lot this season without bringing value judgement into it? leave my failhorse ALONE!!!! like must a man score goals ,can't he be very very sweet and happy for the rookies he assisted ? wailing about it forever.)

More fun stats from that same article:

#1 on lak for passes that led to high-danger scoring chances, and scoring chances in general <- again, not a miracle worker. did not have finishers who could capitalise on these chances. its so fucked up what they did to my failwife

one of the best on lak in actually carrying the puck into the o-zone. (another reason i quite liked watching him!! transition forwards my BELOVED) everything I've ever observed about him off the cuff holds true here: he draws penalties this way, because he's fast and when he's locked in he is pretty good for controlled zone entries <3

Dubois had a career high in even-strength assists per 60, this is all in spite of his weird linemate situation and his reduced TOI and the power play mess (more on this later). he might have been deferring, but I truly think the lack of stability + good finishers, and ice time held him back from being more productive.

jim hiller

Building off that last point: even worse on the stability front, which I did allude to in the initial PLD Post, was what happened when Jim Hiller took over. You must understand one of the first clues that we were working with a different animal of a head coach is he was NOT afraid to line shuffle, and shortly after he found short-term success with that, they started running 11 forwards and 7 defensemen (you can see where it started precisely if you scroll back in lak lb because you'll find ME yelling about it LMAO). This shortened forward bench resulted in mid-game line shuffling, as in it was uncertain as to who they would be playing with from shift to shift. Hiller is on record saying he thinks it was beneficial, per this article:

It’s all about getting his deep forward corps engaged in the game. That’s sometimes difficult if you’re running four full lines and there are penalty kill or power play opportunities that alter the flow of the lines. Especially for the group of forwards who don’t kill penalties – think Kevin Fiala, Viktor Arvidsson, Quinton Byfield, Pierre-Luc Dubois – it’s an opportunity to get them extra shifts and engage in the game. “Some of our other players who don’t penalty kill, you know they can lose the flow of the game, so they enjoy it more I know,” Hiller said of having 11 forwards in action. “We’ve talked about it a lot. We really just think for our team, the way it is right now, that gives us an advantage getting those players more ice time.”

(and ok sorry to go off about my gripes with how the kings are run but .They were doing this into playoffs. This article was written during playoffs. god. CARL GRUNDSTROM, WHO HAS NEVER NOT PLAYED HARD, PLAYED 25 SECONDS IN GAME 2. all this while they were trying to get people 'engaged'. Idk. Maybe it did work for some players. I wasn’t behind that bench. But sitting one of your most energetic and committed forwards during a series in which you’re trying to come back from being down several games was a CHOICE!!!! also like what if you didn't double-shift QB. what then. And we all know how that series ended. lak coaching/management i am beating you with a pillowcase stuffed with bricks . <3)

Much was made of the Hiller takeover. I liked it at the time. In his first couple of media availabilities post-TM, Hiller emphasised bringing back "fun" to the game for many of the players who were slumping — and a reportedly tense locker room during the big skid that lost McLellan his job. It was all very Ted Lasso of him. Hiller also introduced a new way to rate Dubois for his performance every night, separate from the scoresheet. I made jokes about PLD's very special star-chart, everyone who knew about it was making jokes about it. This merit system was tailored towards communicating with Dubois what he did and didn't do well, and while no one ever went into depth about it we do know a few things:

It measured things outside of +/-, goals and assists, and was likely a score out of 5 per metric.

One of the metrics was about hits/physicality, another one was likely ‘compete’ levels.

He alluded to being measured on penalties drawn?? Or something??

Anyway it sort of … worked?? The change in Dubois was pretty immediate, the moment he was given some clear direction to work in. He played some of his BEST games of the year in the wake of this change. He got involved physically, he was not losing steam, he was drawing tons of penalties because he’s huge and fast and has good hands and IF he puts his mind to it he can truly be a transition monster.

CUE THE LINE SHUFFLING… imo, much of the progress made seemed to be lost, and the rest is history.

NOT saying Dubois is free of fault here. Needing that extra motivation to get physically involved is kinda wild, and I understand why for some people it’s a bridge too far. EYE am here for the laffs though and it's really funny that the communication came in the form of super special individualised performance evaluations/a glorified sticker chart. This is why he’s my temperamental desert flower. Wilting violet. Soggy kitten. <3 and for the record I truly don’t think I’d care if he put up 40 points per szn for the rest of his career. I don’t care because he’s a sweetie and the Bit i do when defending him is too funny. I don’t think I’d care if everyone was right about him — I just don’t actually think they are.

the power play problem

So okay, as per part 1 (my last email <3) we know Dubois thrives net front. It’s where he scored a bunch of his goals on the Jets. Every stat and the eye test supports this. So how come Lak had him stationed on the half wall doing jackshit, if he was on the power play at all?? I will admit I drove myself half crazy studying power play structures and watching LA Kings games back before coming up with a garbled, half-formed idea about how LA runs their PP. I was going to attempt to explain it here — had to do with Kevin Fiala and Dubois being lefties and how that's just an awkward passing sitch — but it turns out more than one person has had this thought and MAN I love being validated by actual hockey people. I fully thought i was making shit up in my head for a good week or two, and was seriously considering scrapping this portion . but it’s SO important for contextualising the production drop, so here goes !!

As early as September 2023 there was a story published about PLD’s role on PP1 — a place where he certainly should’ve belonged as a top-6 guy with plenty of ppg’s under his belt. From this article, which explains the issue very very neatly, and much more eloquently than I could ever hope to:

The addition of Pierre-Luc Dubois was a big one this summer; at first glance, he should be a great addition to the power play. But when digging deeper, the Kings might struggle to fit him onto the top unit. Dubois played mostly as the net front player for the Winnipeg Jets last season, the role Gabriel Vilardi often played for the Kings last season. So, it’s an easy one-to-one switch in that spot, right? Not necessarily. Dubois has all the talents to be an effective net-front player. He has the size and strength to battle in front, with the skill to effectively pop down low and create chances. However, his handedness is a big problem for this role. The Kings run their power play primarily on the left side with Kevin Fiala — Anze Kopitar when Fiala is hurt — which necessitates a right shot down low. When a right shot player pops out on the left side, there’s an easy passing angle for the half-wall player and more options for the player down low. Quick passing is key for a successful power and a left-shot can’t move the puck quick enough down low. They would have to either move too far into the corner or take the extra second to step out from and open up their body to create an effective passing angle. Time that would slow the power play down too much and allow the opposition penalty kill to get back into position. There’s also minimal shot threat from a lefty down low. We saw both Vilardi and Viktor Arvidsson frequently take the pass down low and quickly turn it into a shooting opportunity, something a left shot wouldn’t be able to do.

It then goes on to suggest 2 solutions that aren’t appealing at all:

Flip the power play entirely to accommodate Dubois net front. Not great as they dont have the players for that, and if they tried it they’d be hamstringing Adrian Kempe’s one-timer.

PLD on the bumper position. This one’s hard to swallow because that displaces Kopitar to PP2, there’s his position as captain and the optics of moving him off his spot.

In this article it is once again suggested that LA MUST flip their power play and figure out how to get PLD net front. In this article they point out how useless he was playing on the wall down the stretch, and how the only reason he seemed to be able to produce something was because he’d taken Kopitar’s spot in his absence. This article calls to attention Dubois’ worlds performance, where team Canada utilised him net front.

Big picture, the Fit

Do we see the problem here yet? It’s not the flat narrative I was sold by the national media, random assholes on twitter, and podcasters who don’t actually watch Kings matches!!!! Do we see how weird and messy and complicated it is, beyond “hey he’s just a sack of shit who isn’t trying hard enough”. Rob Blake himself has come out and admitted that they didn’t put Dubois in a position to succeed. And absolutely there was effort required on his end — a different player might have sucked it up and adapted to circumstances, a different player might never have needed that extra bit of communication, a straight up better player might have dragged his less skilled lineys up to a higher level. But the problem has always been two-fold: LA was trying to coach and manage a completely different player to the one they had in front of them and expecting good results; and Dubois was unable to keep competing with all he had in the face of that. I think both parties are at fault here. And I think, given the chance and the right circumstances, Dubois can hit 60 points again.

Okay, circling back to the big question of Fit. Will he be able to work with Ovechkin? Hard to think he could fail with one of hockey’s best goal scorers on his wing, if he does get a look at 1C. People who know the Caps better than I do, does this sound workable? Is Dubois going to be too difficult of a nut to crack for your coach? Your locker room?

And, of course, the power play issue. Maybe Dubois learns to be better on the half wall! Idk!! Maybe it was a matter of coaching and he thrives in Washington running your PP1 from there. For my money… I like him better playing net front or bumper. Do the Caps have the bodies to accommodate this? I did ask someone familiar with the Caps PP to explain it to me so I could try and figure this out but ouuuugh. My head is spinning. Someone smarter than me please jump in. I am TIRED . We don’t know what it will look like, what they’re planning to do with Dubois on the power play. You guys probably have a better idea about what’s possible than I do <3

Conclusion?

PLD is fast, big, a passing threat and a formidable net front presence when he’s given the opportunity and playing his A-game. As far as I can tell, his B-game is garbage </3 His poor performance is more complicated than people think and I’m pretty sure only the LA Kings beat reporters + the 12 kings fans on twitter know this. Most of them still dislike PLD anyway bc his low motor. I don’t blame them, I’m just more inclined to be forgiving because I love redemption arcs and I think he’s a good person. i would love to be wrong about his low-effort B-game LMAO but im trying to be realistic here. I want him to fit in and be embraced by the Caps so bad <3 Your coach sounds like he wants to help PLD succeed and is up for the challenge. The vibes from my friends who follow the Caps are always good, I’ve read through various tags and it sounds like a place that will take him in whether he likes it or not. I might be stupid but I believe in him !!! and I’ve laid out all the hockey bullshit for you to the best of my ability. Given all of this… do you think he’ll do well?

[jalapenobee]

give me a d!!! give me an o!!! give me an a!!!

who are we??? *gunshots*

[yellowhollyhock]

We have Donny talk to his bros about SAINW but what if he talks about it with his girlfriend Angel? Imagine the angst.

awwwww yis

Angel lost her mom when she was little, her dad left. Her Gramma was grieving a daughter she'd had a rocky relationship with, and kind of old to have a little kid. The sense of abandonment and desperation to feel truly Independent and therefore Secure (can't be let down if you never rely on anyone) is strong. When Angel's struggling that's where she leans; when she's healthiest, trusting her friends is a big strength because it's a choice she's made.

So; SAINW. Donny doesn't know why he disappeared. He was already a fixer but this exacerbates a need to always have the solution because the interactions he had in that other dimension very much almost explicitly taught him that the reason for their suffering was his absence. Mikey's 'where were you,' Leo and Raph unwilling to even be near each other until they saw Don, April tells him Master Splinter and Casey (both of whom he's just learned died) never gave up on him. A sweet moment for sure but think about the young teenager processing that and incorporating it into his worldview. If you let them down they'll die believing you. It falls to you to make sure this horror future doesn't happen.

And there's not any clear specific way he can avoid it because he doesn't know what happens to him.

So being a mutant turtle Donny already wasn't planning in getting attached to anyone, y'know? I kinda think that's why he always flirts at least a little with any girl they meet, not as a deliberate thing, but meeting a new friend would always be especially exciting because of the unlikeliness, and it's very easy to develop crushes when you're so isolated, and also easy to kind of act on them if, in a way there's not a risk because you already feel sure it isn't going anywhere.

I got off topic. Telling Angel about SAINW

-scary to get attached to her because what if he disappears one day

-Angel, already protective and deeply fundamentally afraid of being left behind, learning that he might just straight up disappear one day

Also a big thing with SAINW: after realizing that specific timeline isn't happening (tunneler destroyed), and once there isn't an immediate crisis to deal with, Don's got a delayed grieving process to go through for his family from the other timeline (not that he didn't mourn before but it comes in waves). Complicated by the fact that he feels guilty for mourning his family when they're literally right there (his btts arc. unnnng).

Well it really never occurred to him to be sad for the alternate version of himself. In his mind it's all him. His disappearance, his failure, his brothers whom he led to their deaths.

Angel, the more she learns, is very much mourning for Other Donny, having no idea what happened to him but feeling pretty sure that whatever it was, he faced it alone. And yes, she is absolutely terrified that something similar could happen to her Donny.

In my mind he doesn't really sit down and tell her, but it comes up bits and pieces at a time as they talk. Like

do you want a turn in the robot suit?

nah, I've had bad experiences in robot suits, like when I got hacked and scattered Master Splinter's data bits across the internet, or when I fought the Shredder and all my brothers died. you want a soda?

I mean when you've lived through trauma it's just part of your life, y'know? Hard to remember sometimes how shocking it'll be to other people, and even then hard to figure out a way to say some things any way but bluntly

but then also of course more heartfelt moments too, like

'Wow, you always show up for me. I really appreciate how you're someone I can count on, no matter what'

(being counted on = pressure to save the world) (if she trusts him and he disappears, not only is he understanding better all the time how deeply that abandonment would hurt, he's also worried about what happened to his loved ones because of their grief for him, from his perspective)

'I. Um. Thanks. Angel, I--I don't know if I can promise anything.'

'Whoa hey it's okay, you don't have to know right now.' (thinking he means their relationship)

'No I mean. I'm really scared, I don't know what's going to happen to me'

See there's really not an unalarming way to have these conversations XD

Anyway. one more sort of vague thought. There'd probably be an occasion or two for him to explain what happened in full, but I think it would be very difficult to talk about or even necessarily remember in a clear simple way. So being that her getting close to him is some years after the incident and she's less likely than his brothers to press for details (no bro hate, they've got plenty of reasons to be protective), the SAINW info she collects is more of how he's affected and what helps than of the actual events

Like less so 'mikey lost an arm tunneler was important Karai bot repurposed April rebel leader'

More so 'if something dangerous happens on the news anywhere near my neighborhood/place if work I text Don to confirm I'm okay' 'don't leave him alone for very long ever because he literally might go time traveling or to another dimension and he's justifiably terrified of that happening without anyone knowing' 'muggy out today that always puts Don in a funk, it was probably weather like this in That Dimension, gonna buy his favorite snacks and see if I can talk him into a movie night'

Of course the actual events become more clear over time and more conversations too but Angel's learning about the emotions first and is less concerned about the facts

[toystore]

can we get applause from the audience

[boxwinebaddie]

same nervous anon from earlier anddd i graduated!! idk why i was scared i was totally fine lmaosl im the queen of overreacting. anyways im officially a graduate and i got SUMMA CUM LAUDE HELL YEAH

hello, baby!!!!! first of all, i just want to say...

cONGRATU-FUCKING-LATIONS, MY LOVE!!!!!

graduating is no easy feat, seriously. i am so fucking proud of you, i was so excited to finally have enough time to answer this because i am so happy that my face hurts from SMILING SO BIG!!!! :DDD

you did the damn thing!!! like i know that at points it was really hard, but you powered through it and i am so excited for you to start this new chapter of your life and see what life has in store for you. <3

i am glad your culmination went smoothly because hooooly fuck, chaperoning the culmination from my school was HELL ON EARTH, hoooooly shit. parents are so entitled and so mean to me like yeah, okay maam, i'm sorry that you are sitting in the fourth row and you wanted to sit in the front row, SO DID EVERY OTHER FUCKING FAMILY HERE TOLD, like i don't care how much you donate to the school???? i didn't make the damn seating chart, yell at the WALL!

it was...oh my god. i still get flashbacks, bro.

but AGAIN I AM SO PROUD OF YOU!!!!

CONGRATULATIONS!!!!

and congratulations to all my friends in school or not, whatever you are doing, and however well or not well you think you are doing, know you are very loved and i am very, very proud of you.

sorry, i haven't been around...again, if you were dying during finals week, so am i because i am GIVING THOSE FINALS when teachers decide to rage quit and take their vacations early like??? thanks so much, legend! it's not like i...you know...have never ran your class before and i have to comfort nervous students WHO AREN'T MINE?

but yes, mwah mwah mWAH! i love you guys, i posted a very lame ask meme finally after 73093740934 years and i'm sorry, but because i am so busy i may go dark randomly and come back. the posting is slow goings and i am worried about how stressful working summer camp will be ( though, i am stoked for the structure ) but if you're on the struggle bus, its the hello kitty bus and i'm driving.

which unfortunately is not great news...

because i can't drive.

anyways! cheers! mazel! <3333

-uncle nina, grinning ear to ear

[camping-with-monsters]

I MAKE VERY SILLY GOOFY ANIMATICS SOMETIMES.

Several months ago I created a nightcore version of “Nightmares Never End” and I haven’t been able to listen to the normal song since because I love the nightcore version so much oh my god

Anyways :)) The OCs in the first half are my own from my original story “Duck Duck Goose”, and the OCs in the second half belong to @pazam from her original story “My Little Angel” :) This might be a more oddly specific animatic but the imagery wouldn’t leave my head until I created it :))

[tearfest]

(very late) closed starter for @daringsunflowers!

ㅤㅤ" captain kirt, sir? " small hands smooth out any creases in her perfectly kept blouse that was tucked into her precisely straight pencil skirt, the bright ascot tied around her throat representing the colours of the airlines that she proudly works for. the other air hostess' had quickly abandoned ship shortly after landing in seoul, clocking off once each passenger was off board, but hyemi had lingered — specifically around the cockpit in the hopes of catching the pilot. " do you have any plans for the weekend? until our scheduled flight back, i mean. it's just— i'd love to show you around the area. i lived here until i was, like, eleven, and i visit my grandma regularly, so i still know all the best food spots. "

[seraphimtouch]

[x] @eusyram​

  “Cute..?” A tilt of his head, and though he has an idea of what she’s implying, he’d best be sure.

 “We’re already outside now, aren’t we?” 

[jinstronaut]

every month of 2022!!!

(tagged by @userhobi, @sopekooks, @jiniekook​, and @raplinenthusiasts​ thank u sweetest beans xoxox)

we’re 3 months into 2023 which means it only makes sense that i do this now :~) here we go!!!!!!

jan -

most popular: black swan ptd jinnie uwu he is etheral

fave: bts gtkm meme coffee set, i manifested a coffee comeback in 2022 i feel so powerful

feb -

most popular: dior hobi for 18 days of hobi, and can we BLAME HIM bc look at that man !!!!!! wtf !!!! past emmeline why did you do this he is insane!!!!!!

fave: :] yoongi for 11 days of yoongi, look at him he is :( so small i lov he

march -

most popular: yoonmin for 11 days of yoongi, if you don’t love them you are lying!!!! they are everything to meeeee!!!!!!

fave: seesaw for 11 days of yoongi, i tried something new with typography and i ended up really liking it!!! :’))) i’m proud of how it turned out + i also luv this song so uwu

april -

most popular: glasses namjoon :’))), this month was the month i started off my monthly bts series!!!!! and i get why this one was the best for april, Look At Him

fave: bts love yourself tour namjoon, i just rly think he is neat and deserves the world :(

may -

most popular: giggly seokjinnie, he is so so so cute what does it feel like @ that person to make him laugh like that i can only IMAGINE ;o;

fave: cute and sneaky seokjin, from THEEEE best run episode, look at his cute little face moments before he dupes all of his friends for some giftcards, truly diabolical

june -

most popular: bts anniversary gifset, as the tags say i made this in 36 hrs i was so sleepy by the end BUT !!!! it reached over 1,000 notes and most of my sets don’t do that, so i am so grateful that this was so well received !!!!

fave: AAAAYE AAAYE AAAAYE yoongi, he is just so important to me personally pls understand

july -

most popular: dior hobi, i mean the man just cannot be stopped and he’s right for it !!!!!!!!

fave: dance practice hobi, this hobi means so much to me when he wears his comfy shirts and jeans i just :’))))

august- 

most popular: dancing beret jimine uwu he is so tiny and cute !!!!!!!

fave: black swan jimin, i rly rly rly love this set so much bc he looks so etheral and i just !!!!! he is the black swan !!!!!!!!!

september -

most popular: black swan tae and the people are RIGHT FOR IT bc look !!!! at him WOW. WOWEEEEEEE

fave: blue haired taehyung bc he is my favorite and i don’t make that a secret thank u and GOODNIGHT

october -

most popular: this jungkook and u kno what.......... this checks out i understand :~)

fave: this run ep is in my top 5 and this jk is so special to me specifically bc he is just like me fr

november -

most popular: jin birthday countdown, tumblr tags edition and i’d do it AGAIN bc i maintain that army are the funniest fuckin people in the world lksdjfksdlf ;o;

fave: this genre of bts is so important to me :’))))) i luv luv luv them

december -

most popular: the beginning of the jin a day series ;o; how long and yet how short it’s been

fave: this jin comp i made during his birthday weel :’)) i particularly proud of the editing i tried!!!