#this took me like. 3+ hours to put together HELP its like 4am

[chirpthingz]

my "essay" on why I don't think kian's plan would amount to anything:

with sources!

spoilers for desconjuracao ep. 20 & calamidade below

my problem with kian's plan isn't that i think it wouldn't work, i just don't think he's capable of achieving it. now, just as a refresher:

kian's plan is referred to as the calamity. his goal is to sever the connection between reality and the other side, destroying it. to achieve this, he must kill anyone with knowledge of the paranormal and destroy the relics. (source)

this is a perfectly reasonable plan that, based on how the other side functions, could work. (source). if i remember correctly, cellbit even confirmed it would work (i can't remember where i heard this, so i may be wrong). and on that note, kian is insanely powerful. he is:

immortal, can move shit with his mind (to an extent), can teleport pretty much anywhere he wants, has a decent amount of followers, can weaken rituals in an area, and has two rituals that essentially insta-kill someone (as far as we are aware), is scarily clever, knows everything about the other side, is 4000+ years old (technically), cannot be caught by surprise, and possesses superhuman strength + agility. (source)

at a first glance, he seems more than capable. he has the highest marcado (player) kill count (5) in the series, and is referred to as the damn god of knowledge by his followers. (source).

but he is not a god, he is not a relic, and there are factors i feel he has not considered.

The amount of people he would have to kill is too high.

kian intends to kill everyone with knowledge of the paranormal. of known living characters, this includes 18 player characters, 4 relics, 25 ordem agentes (not including pcs), 5 members of the leone family (excluding carina), 8 hell hunters, 17 members of the obscurite (excluding yuki & dominic), 1 escripta (not including gal), 6 known ordem prisoners, 1 colosseum employee, cassiano/hugo/eduarda/tim, the 15 surviving members of tipora (excluding amelie & oliver), 2 panacea employees, emilia, donisvaldo (don), mandy/vicente, and a number of npcs whose whereabouts are unknown. this adds up to at least 109 relevant characters. (source). of course, this is not counting the amount of people we don't know about. think about all the other organizations & governments out there. think about how many odd groups like os cinco are out there. think about the mask sect, the host production, the luzidios. furthermore, it is not unreasonable to assume the population of the world that ordem is set in is similar to ours. currently, we are sitting at nearly 8 billion. any amount of those 8 billion could have some knowledge about the paranormal. without a doubt, those people amount to at least a couple hundred thousands. even if we were to even out the playing field and pretend that kian's escriptas were still alive, the ratio of escriptas to people he needs to kill is maddening.

2. Kian is not all-knowing.

"kian sabe, kian sabe-" no he doesn't. he knows about the other side, but that only gets him so far. he could not locate the order base (source) (it is important to note that the order had the help of a relic in hiding themselves) nor stop them when they arrived in italy, he had to rely on clarissa. (source). furthermore, he had no idea about god's diary- the one thing that could stop him. (source). the world is enormous. to be as brief as possible: there is too much ground for him to cover. he can also not account for recorded information. there is no feasible way he can look through every archive, every website, every library, etc. information about the paranormal will survive and he might never know about it. on that note, he cannot possible know where all of his targets are at once, and he cannot get to all of them fast enough before some of them realize they need to hide. this brings me to my next point.

3. It would take him too long to accomplish his goal.

kian is currently immortal. (source). he has all the time in the world. no rush, right? wrong. thinking back to the insanely large amount of people he needs to kill, which assumedly totals up to at least hundreds of thousands of people. it would take him ages to kill them all. even if he did have escriptas helping him, it would take multiple decades at a minimum. the longer he takes, the more time someone else has to stumble upon the paranormal. the number of people he needs to kill is not a fixed rate, it is constantly increasing. if we take into account the rapid spread of news and information because of digital spaces, it's not unreasonable to think that it's increasingly rapidly. this also gives other people more time to figure out how to stop him, which is obviously dangerous to his cause. he cannot reasonable kill people at a fast enough rate to make rapid progress, at least not if he wants to prevent my next point from becoming true

4. Enacting his plan would weaken the membrane.

the membrane that separates reality from the other side can be weakened by fear. entities from the other side use this fear as a bride to physically manifest in reality. (source). kian does not have the time (as explained above), nor the money, nor the resources to ensure every death is untraceable. the amount of people he needs to kill will draw attention, especially when it isn't unreasonable to think that government officials are aware of the paranormal to an extent (for example, verissimo himself comments that the order is partially supported by political allies). it's also important to note the sheer amount of people that will die. to an outside perspective, large amounts of people globally will die or go missing with little public explanations or connections. this will undoubtedly cause mass panic. panicked people become paranoid, and then scared, and then the membrane begins to weaken. this means more opportunities for the other side to manifest into reality, therefore making more people aware of the paranormal. it is completely unavoidable, and (from his perspective) frustratingly counter-active to his plan.

naturally, we do not know the true extent of kian's strength. up to this point, he really has not made any attempts of truly trying to enact his plan; instead he focuses on stopping the people in his way (which, if he continues to focus on such matters, he will never get around to actually bringing about the calamity).

there is also the argument that he may have access to relics. this is addressed by the magistrate in calamity episode 8:

the magistrate informs equipe abutres that if the mask of despair (relic of knowledge) were to be destroyed, kian would possibly control destiny itself. (source).

it can only be assumed that similar consequences would occur should the other relics be destroyed. however, for him to actually destroy the relics, he would have to acquire them first. this is where I believe he meets a significant wall.

the relics do not appear to get along. or at the very least, their differences drive them apart. (source). this does not mean they cannot make agreements. the devil and the host appeared to have no problems with each other in the ordo calamitas base, and the host and magistrate let equipe abutres decide who to side with even though they knew it would end in one of their "deaths" (even if they argued about it the entire time).

most importantly, they all desired to stop kian. this is because, very obviously, they do not want to be barred from reality. and even more importantly, they are very, very powerful.

but the relics of knowledge and energy do not have wielders, leaving it up to the god of death and the devil (unless someone decides to become the new magistrate or host), which brings me to my final topic.

the devil and the god of death are not going to help kian. the strongest counter-argument to this entire essay is that with the help of the devil, kian could easily realize the calamity. with the devil appearing to offer a pact to an imprisoned kian, this reality doesn't seem to far away. yet, there is no logical sense behind this idea. the devil can only lose if kian accomplishes his goal, and kian will not stop until he has destroyed all the relics. they may temporarily work together, but it is a fragile alliance. at some point, the devil must try to stop him. the god of death has only appeared twice, both under circumstances in which his domains were threatened. even if he chooses to ignore the calamity, eventually kian is going to encroach on his territory. the god of death will be forced to intervene.

i, chirp, assume the two would not get along super well, but the magistrate and host have shown us that relics can come together for a cause they both believe in. it is impossible to know if they will both be able to come together in such a way, but the chance is not zero!

in summary: under all that power and immortality, kian is flesh and bone like the rest of us. 4000 years has not softened his pride, and it will probably take 4000 more for his plan to amount to anything.

----

you made it to end!! sorry i am such a yapper lmao, but i've been thinking about this for like two days straight. this essay isn't meant to start any heated arguments, it's all very lighthearted, but i do want to hear your opinions. if i got some information wrong, please forgive me; youtube auto-translated subtitles can only get me so far, and i've only seen calamidade once.

KIAN BROXA.

[miekasa]

okay but what about airport!levi? he gives quiet businessman vibes sitting in his slacks and turtleneck

IN HIS TURTLENECK 😭😭 He would also be quiet and to himself, but not in the emo way. You got me thinking about all of them now, so here are my other thoughts about the boys at the airport.

Levi

He thinks the idea of separating classes on an airplane is beyond stupid, but if the flight is particularly long, or particularly packed, he’s not above paying for business class for a little extra personal space for the two of you.

When he doesn’t do that, tho, he never picks your guys’ seats ahead of time, so sometimes you’ll be separated. Good thing he’s also not above lying at the check-in desk, “I’m in Zone 1, could my wife be seated next to me so that we can board together?”

They respond with an “of course,” and move your seats together, and Levi walks back with a content nod of appreciation. You are not married, and marriage sucks about as much as class separation on a 30 foot long plane, but it has its benefits.

Masks on, regardless. No debates. Pandemic or not, the mask stays on. Do not perceive him, keep the pressurized air sharing to a minimum.

Doesn’t wander much in the airport. There’s nothing in there that he hasn’t seen already, except for the marked up prices on touristy t-shirts.

And if you wander, he’ll usually just sit in the waiting area to watch your bags while you window shop and do your thing. If you’re gone for more than 30 mins, he might call, under the pretenses of, “Making sure you didn’t get lost. You know that Starbucks was near gate 41 to the left, not the right, right?” Like he’s a comedian or something 🙄

He does encourage you to get snacks before you board, tho. Airplane food is gross, and he would much rather pay for a $13 sandwich that you can snack on later, than for you to have to eat mush.

He’s got a little portable mug he takes with him for when he’s wants to buy a hot drink before getting on his flight. It’s cute.

Doesn’t fall asleep on the plane ever. No matter how long the flight is—at most, he’ll take a quick power nap somewhere in the middle if it’s over 9 hours, but other than that, he’s good to go.

Doesn’t mind if you fall asleep, and he always adjusts your neck pillow to make sure you don’t get cramps.

Jean

Travel champion. This man loves being in the airport even though he’s convinced it’s a time capsule, he fucking loves it.

King of “your airport fashion matters, babe.” Not necessarily wearing a whole three piece suit, but he does put in a little effort; it’s not just the first pair of sweats he has laying around.

Swears coffee tastes better in the airport. It does not. That does not stop him from buying it. He should learn to quit tho, especially for someone who hates airplane bathrooms as much as he does.

Charming with all the security personnel and desk assistants. You could be checking in for a flight at 4am, and Jean’s got people smiling and cheery for their shifts.

Bitches about the selection of movies on the flight, and learns to just download his own ahead of time. Gets really startled when he’s watching something and the flight attendants try to grab his attention for food or drinks—the very loud, classic, Jean Kirstein “HUH?”

On that note, he also gets startled by the loudspeaker announcements in the airport. He doesn’t know why he has to hear about American Airlines flight 2170 to Cancun, when he is not on American Airlines flight 2170 to Cancun.

Not opposed to paying extra for better airplane food or drinks on the plane if it’s the right time of day. He always finds something to toast to, plus he likes to treat you whenever and wherever he can.

Takes care of your overhead luggage and helps out the people around him if he sees they’re struggling. Gets shy when you call him a gentleman for it, and he rubs his neck, grumbling, “I was just helping the line move a little faster.”

Great timing, generous, will pick up your checked bags for you, and already rented a car a week in advance: 10/10 travel buddy.

Porco

He doesn’t like planes and there’s no solid reason why—nothing bad happened to him as a kid, and it’s not even that rare unfortunate incidents freak him out or anything—something flying just makes him a bit uneasy.

He won’t say it though, and he tries to keep it together when you’re checking in, but you can tell he’s anxious once you’re sitting and waiting for your flight to board.

He’ll ask to switch seats if you have the window seat, because somehow the feeling of being boxed in between the plane wall/window and another person makes it feel more like a car than a plane and he’s okay with that.

Going to the airport is one of the few times he hair won’t be styled, and falls in his face a bit. He usually throws on a beanie to cover it up, but you think he looks pretty cute either way.

Can’t usually fall asleep and he hates it because he just sits there thinking about the worst for the entire duration of the flight. But when you travel with him for the first time and coax him into taking a nap it’s so much better.

It’s about the only time he’ll let himself be publicly babied by you; but it makes everything so much easier that he doesn’t even mind.

So now, whenever you get on flights, he just puts his hood up, lays his head on your shoulder and waits for the magic to happen.

Bonus: you’re traveling with his friends, and Pieck and Marcel past to your seats, surprised to see Porco fast asleep on your shoulder. Pieck squeals, going on about how you must be a wizard to have gotten him to nap, to which Marcel just shakes his head, “Nah, he’s just really in love with her. Look at his face, that’s the calmest he’s been since he was five.”

Connie

Loves the airport. Not an ounce of organization in his soul though. By that I mean, yeah, he’s probably forgotten his passport at home, or forgotten that a full size bottle of body wash cannot go into his carry-on luggage.

Forgets to wear shoes that easy to take off and is fumbling over himself after the security check trying to lace them back up or put them back on.

Likes for you guys to have coordinating sweatsuits, and even though you don’t travel super often, Connie’s got at least 3 pairs of them lined up for you guys.

Sweet enough to drop plans or rearrange his schedule to travel with you if you were originally gonna be alone. He knows you can handle yourself, but he doesn’t want for you to travel alone if you don’t have to, especially if you’re going someplace far and/or for an extended period of time.

He always finds breakfast food to eat before he gets on his flight (if you two even have time to spare for food that is). It could be 9pm, but Connie’s asking for a breakfast wrap.

Hates waiting in the little pre-flight area. Claims it’s boring as hell and that’s why there’s no reason to get there 3 hours early 🙄🙄

He always spends at least 30 minutes browsing all the movie and TV show options available on-board, loudly exclaiming in excitement when they have something cool to watch—only to fucking fall asleep 10 minutes later. Right on top of you when he was oh-so-excited to watch Madagascar 2.

Always steals the aisle seat, even if it’s yours. It’s probably for the best though, because he has to get up to pee at least twice, no matter how short your flight is.

Makes some cheeky remark about you meeting him in the bathroom. He doesn’t mean it... unless he does. Unfortunately, you’ve never... successfully been able to do that out of fear of being caught by the flight attendants, but there have been a few quickies in the “family” (“It’s ethical, because technically we’re participating in the act of making a family, babe”) bathroom before you boarded. It’s his fault, not yours.

Armin

He really likes planes, and traveling in general. I think trains would be his favorite mode of transportation, but airplanes are good too.

I hate to say it but he claps when the plane lands. I will not elaborate or defend my stance on this.

Prefers the window seat because he likes to look out at the clouds as he’s in the sky.

He took his passport photo a little before he cut his hair, so the security personnel always hold it up and flicker between his ID photo and his current appearance a few times before stamping it. It makes him a little embarrassed because he can’t tell if they think he looks better or worse and sometimes he’s really fighting for his life convincing them that that’s him in the picture 😭

Listens to music rather than downloading a movie or watching a show, and always brings wire headphones to the airport so that it’s easier to share and listen with you.

If you fall asleep on him first, he’ll likely fall asleep on you shortly after. If he’s tired enough, he’ll fall asleep first, though he’s somewhat embarrassed and disappointed because he wanted to see the descent and skyline outside.

When he’s not asleep or window-watching, he’s somewhat fidgety out of excitement, rather than nervousness. He’s excited to be traveling and looks forward to wherever you’re going, even if it is just a weekend long work trip.

Hates traveling alone, though. It just feels particularly lonely to him to be going someplace foreign without company by his side. So, he’ll call you at every checkpoint and send you updates.

He only ever buys two things in duty free: shot glasses with the name of the city/country you’re traveling to, and whatever variety of button down short-sleeves are available to him.

Erwin

You knew this was coming, but this man is absolutely at the airport 18 hours before your flight takes off, and he’s driving like a manic getting there, like you don’t have all the time in the world.

Fascinated by anything and everything in duty free. Definitely spends more money than necessary on your return flight on the grounds that he was getting a good deal.

Exchanges money in the airport and keeps cash in his fanny pack. There’s no traveling without the fanny pack.

Plays crossword puzzles on his phone on the plane, and it’s just about one of the only games he has. That and Candy Crush—I get the feeling he’d be on level 500+ of that game and he always knocks out at least 10 levels on a flight.

Always a little surprised when he feels his your head on his shoulder, but he says nothing, and acts like he didn’t even notice, but there’s a telling little smile on his face.

Takes the most foul selfies of him and your sleeping self. In his defense, he had the best intentions; but that angle was flattering nobody. It’s too bad he’d already paid for the in-flight wifi and sent it to Hange because now you’ll never live them down.

You could probably get him to put on a (skincare) face mask during your flight. He forgets to take it off tho, and if you don’t tell him, he’d fully walk through customs with it on his face.

Accidentally gets drunk because he doesn’t understand that just because he can handle several glasses of whiskey in his favorite bar on a Friday night, does not mean it will translate on a plane.

[joyfulhopelox]

Sidewalk Chalk

Pairing: Basketball Player! Yoongi x reader (non-idol! au, childhood friends to lovers! au)

Genre: fluff

Warnings: none

Summary: As a child you had always loved to play in the park. Loud and obnoxious you made an array of friends, but you soon discovered that the lonely boy sitting on a swing on the playground is much more fun to draw with. Bonding over chalk drawings in the heat of the summer, little did you know that he would become your rock for many summers to follow.

Word count: 9k

rating : g

A/N: This is square 7/25 for the @bangtanwritingbingo (Square: Chalk Drawings). Thank you @min-yoon-kween and @sunshinejunghoseokie for trying even when the house was burning i appreciate you guys so much. I am also really grateful to my best friend who told me off for my general writing mistakes and for keeping me together.

A massive massive massive thank you to the amazing @ttaetae for her amazing skills of pulling a crappy banner i made and making it a masterpiece. You have saved me!

I have not written so much fluff, but it was needed after all the angst and all the angst that will follow after this.

Copyrights @joyfulhopelox for the work

As always please leave feedback and/or talk to me as i love to hear from you! Enjoy <3

The sound of the birds chirping in the early hours of the morning, as you walked through the park, was the perfect soundtrack to your day. Smiling softly to yourself, you took a deep breath in, savouring the scent of the late summer blooms. Your feet carried you slowly towards your destination. You were in no rush. Today time was just a concept, and you would make the most of it. You caught yourself checking the clock multiple times before you left the house and decided that you would leave your watch at home. Today was your day. Nothing would ruin it, not even the rain forecast for later in the day. The sound of children laughing was a telltale sign that you were quickly approaching your destination. Excitedly you sped up only to stop abruptly. Under your foot lay the faded outlines of a chalk drawn hopscotch. Smiling brightly to yourself you looked carefully around you, your eyes taking in the scenery, there was no one in sight. Placing one foot on the starting line, you proceed to hop through the numbers laughing quietly to yourself. You were definitely over the age where that would be considered appropriate, but you did not care. Sidewalk chalk games have always been your favourite.

“I see you have found something more important than meeting your own boyfriend.” The voice startled you and with a yelp you stumbled right before your feet could touch the squares with the numbers 9 and 10 in it. Turning towards the source you pouted at the man standing in front of you. The wide smile and soft features were unmistakable and your pout quickly dissolved into a beaming grin. “Yoongi.” You laughed, your feet carrying you towards said man. As you approached him, your pace quickened before you broke out into a run jumping into his arms at the last minute.

“Y/N.” He grunted, the impact knocking the air out of him. His displeasure was not real though and once he gained his footing back his arms wrapped around you tightly. Looking down at him, your heart swelled with affection. His eyes were half closed, the bright smile taking over most of his face, his black hair long enough to brush over his pale complexion. He was handsome and he was all yours. Squeezing him in your arms again to gain his attention you pecked his cheek. “Hello.” He couldn’t help but laugh at your redundant greeting but nevertheless responded. “Hello love. Have a good morning?” The arms wrapped around your waist tightened, you realised he was still carrying you. Worried for his back you wriggled yourself to get him to let you go. His arms only tightened around you, not ready to let you out of his arms just yet.

“Yoongi.” You whined with a pout. “Let me go! Your back.” You patted his shoulder. He knew you were not actually angry at him, if the laughter lines at the corner of your eyes were any indication. “Just a bit longer love, I haven't seen you in so long.” Your pout lessened and you laughed at him, “it’s only been 2 days silly.” Despite your words your arms wrapped around his neck once more as you buried your head in the nape of his neck. Inhaling deeply you took in his warm scent, a smell that has become so familiar to you, it made you feel like coming home.

“Exactly,” he laughed, and you could imagine the sight of his gummy smile in your head. After so many years, the thought of it still makes your heart race. He was not very liberal with his smiles, but when he did share them with you, it was the most beautiful and uplifting sight. The intensity of it took your breath away. Suddenly you felt the world around you shift as he started spinning the two of you round. You screeched holding onto him as if your life depended on it. This was another uncharacteristic Yoongi behaviour, this playfulness only rearing its head few and far between. As a public figure he always had to be careful of his outward appearance and behaviour, his moves always calculated and thought of beforehand so as to avoid any potential scandals. However, with you he always let his guard down. The aloof Min Yoongi morphed into a child, ready to do anything you asked of him. Even if it was building a fort at 4am to cuddle under and listen to the sound of the rain pitter-pattering outside. “Yoongi stop!” You cried out, the colours of the trees around you morphing into one as dizziness started to set in. He did not stop until the echo of voices reached your ears, signalling the approach of a group of people. Putting you back on your feet, his hands lightly gripped your elbows making sure you did not fall over. Once he was sure you were firmly planted on the ground, his hands dropped to yours and with a silly grin he enclosed his palms over yours.

“Come on, we have company.” You chuckled, but followed him, his bigger strides keeping him a few steps ahead of you. The sight of his back brought back so many memories. Over the two decades you had been close, it had become a sight so intimate to you, that more often than not it appeared in your dreams as a refuge, your safe haven. The voices behind you could be heard coming closer, and Yoongi turned his head to glance over his shoulder. Wide eyed he glanced at you, a quiet signal. You needed to hurry up, and so with a giggle you picked up the pace, breaking into a small run trying to reach a place where it was just the two of you.

Hand in hand, your steps in sync, you walked down the empty path, enjoying the quietness of the early morning, the sun beating down on the pavement, eyes closed in contentment. You remembered the first time you felt this complete, the day when Yoongi finally asked you to be his girlfriend. As friends you always spent time together but as soon as you decided that the furtive glances and subtle hand touches were more than feelings of friendship, something in your relationship shifted. Your days meeting in the cafe were not about two friends catching up with each other anymore, instead, they could be considered a bud waiting to bloom, the bud of your romantic relationship. Your conversations were not as easy going anymore, still lighthearted, but this time, him and you were establishing the grounds of your affection. An affection which you would build on for however long you were meant to last. In your heart, you knew that you had always loved him, even before this significant shift in your connection.

“You are making that face.” His voice broke you out of your daydream. Brought back to the present, you narrowed your eyes at him in mock offense. “What is with my face? I thought you liked this face.” Sticking your tongue out at him, you started swinging your intertwined arms higher and higher in the air. Yoongi scoffed at your childishness, but he couldn’t deny the warmth spreading through him. You were beautiful, even when acting half your age, and he wouldn’t have chosen anyone else to fall in love with. Your loud disposition was what drew him to you in the first place. Or better yet, your loud disposition was the reason you barged into his life. The thought of your first meeting made him smile, his grip on your hand tightening. “See, now you are making a face.” Your rebuttal came quickly and he couldn’t help but laugh. As he looked at you, his laugh dissolved into a fond smile. “You always have to have the last word, don’t you?” Before you could think of a response, he pulled you to his side, his hand released yours, only to wrap his arm around your shoulders.

“I was just thinking.” He hummed, glancing at the sky, its brightness making him squint. He regretted not taking his pair of sunglasses from home, but before he could dwell on that thought a poke to his side brought his attention back to you. The sight that greeted him instantly slowed his pace to a stop, and he realised it was not you who poked him, but the pair of sunglasses that you were offering to him with a hopeful smile. “Knew you’d forget them so I kept a pair on me.” In that moment, the brightness of the sky couldn’t even compare with your smile, the latter becoming the sole reason his heart started doing somersaults in his chest. By instinct his hand went to check his back pocket, its weight becoming more and more apparent. He stopped himself before he could draw your attention. Instead, he took the glasses you offered him and placed them on the bridge of his nose, his face instantly relaxing.

With a grateful smile, he wrapped his arm around your shoulders once more. “What were you thinking about?” His eyes drank in the sight of your wistful smile, your eyes gazing off into the distance - the face he’s mentioned before, the face you made when you reminisced. He’s seen that expression multiple times when you’d both be sitting on your balcony, a glass of wine in your hands, your back leaning onto him, both covered in blankets. On those nights you would talk about anything and nothing at all. You would share amusing stories of your daily life, he would share his creative processes with you, sometimes you would play stupid games and sometimes, the sombre atmosphere left no room for entertainment. On those days, both of you would make sure to stay away from any alcohol until after you had gotten all your emotions out. Those nights you would cry for each other, your hearts intertwining along with the stars, your bodies moulding into one, until the stress and pain from the day would release its grip on your souls. He knew that look all too well, it meant that somewhere in your head, you were reliving a story, and so he waited patiently knowing very well he would hear it soon. After a few minutes of silence, the only sounds to be heard were the crunch of the gravel scattered on the pavement under your shoes, you turned towards him, a content smile on your face.

“Do you remember when we first met?” At your words he looked thoughtful for a second too long, before he responded with a cheeky grin. “You mean to say I should be able to remember the time when dinosaurs existed on this planet?” You huffed in aggravation before pushing into him slightly with your shoulder. “Honeyboy,” you warned playfully, “don’t make me stuff sand down your trousers.” He guffawed at the words he heard for the first time exactly twenty years ago. “As if you had enough courage to stick your hands in that mess.” His words should’ve annoyed you, as they did before, instead you beamed at him, the butterflies in your stomach causing a storm of emotions to burst inside of you. He did remember- that was his exact response to you at the time. The knowledge that not only did he have a vague idea of what you were talking about, but he also had a vivid recollection of the exact exchange that took place at the time made you dizzy.

Indeed, that summer day on the playground, twenty years ago, you threatened him with sand in his overalls if he refused to offer you his friendship. That thought would make you blush for years to come, but at the time, it was what instigated a beautiful friendship.

The children playing in the sand screeched and laughed, each trying to create a sand castle better than their friend’s. In the midst of it, you were the loudest of them all. Loud and obnoxious, you commanded the attention of the whole group, self proclaiming yourself the queen of all the sand castles, even though yours was the one that lacked the most. Yet, no one dared to question it, they went along with what you were telling them. The group of children surrounding you soon got bigger and bigger, as your loud disposition would attract the attention of all the newcomers.

“Come on, let's play at the monkey bars!” your pudgy finger pointed towards the abandoned steel poles. You had been eyeing them for a while, not because they posed an interest to you, you could care less about them. But the lonely boy leaning on one of the bars immediately commanded your attention. He was digging a stick in the soft ground at the base of the pole, and you have seen the look adorning his face before. It was the same look you would have when your parents would take you to their grown up things, it was boredom. And on a playground that was sacrilege to you. Without waiting for a response from your newly made friends you ran towards the bar, making sure to stop a few feet in front of the boy.

“Hello?” You called out to him your voice wavering for a second, wondering if it was smart to approach a stranger like that. But as soon his eyes lifted from the intricate designs his stick had managed to draw, your resolve steeled. He looked sad, lonely, and you would not let that happen. Approaching him with a determined gaze on your face you stopped a few breaths away from kicking him in the face with your knee. “Hey, do you wanna play with me?” You smiled at him, the lack of a front tooth making it look like a comical sight. The boy carried on staring at you, not uttering a word, so you tried to extend the invitation again, this time slower, assuming he did not understand you the first time. When he remained still for a few more seconds after which he returned to his masterpiece, your anger increased, and you stomped your foot on the ground.

“Hey, don’t make me stuff sand down your trousers!” You threatened, prepared to bend down to gather a handful of the said offender. The boy scoffed under his breath and you prepared to throw an insult back at him, but the sight of his smirk made you close your mouth quickly. “As if you have enough courage to stick your hands in that mess.” His stick motions to the still damp mound of sand by your feet to emphasize his words and as if to prove him wrong you bend down your hands sinking into the softness of the sand. Giving him a threatening look you dare him to continue mocking you. “Are you stupid?” His voice is harsh, but underneath all that your seven year old brain could detect the bravado. Faltering, you gave him a thoughtful look. “I will have you know i got a golden star at school the other day, so i’m not stupid!” You responded just as harshly. How dare he call you stupid? “If you don’t want to play with me just say, fine.” You stick up your nose in distaste, ready to leave the rude boy behind when he goes to stop you, the sound caught in his throat. Your eyes scrutinised him ready to give him a piece of your mind when you spot the leg that he is hiding behind himself, a thick cast around the ankle. Your eyes widen as realisation dawns over you. Of course, how could you have been so stupid and so brash. Your mother warned you to not rush head first into being judgemental and for the first time you understood what she meant. Embarrassed at your own behaviour you blush, your eyes darting around trying to find a distraction. When you spot the empty grey pavement a thought crosses your mind. You turn around quickly, throwing him a “wait for me” over your shoulder before you rush towards your mother.

Running back towards his dejected form, you could see the tension slip away when he spies you returning. Once again stopping short from kicking him you blush, the sudden courage you had earlier completely gone. Bashfully you extend your hand towards him, a pack of colourful chalk in your hands. Staring at it confusedly, he didn’t know what to do so instead he asked, “what is that?” he pointed towards it and you scoffed . “It’s chalk, now who is the one who is stupid?” He stared at it in awe before he shifted his attention towards you, “and what are you going to do with it?” You don’t respond to him, but instead you grab his arm, your fingers were clammy and could barely enclose over his forearm but with tremendous stubbornness you managed to get him standing upright. Not letting go of his hand you slowly encouraged him to take a few steps at a time until you both reached the strip of pavement you’ve spied earlier. You made it a point to not respond to the boy’s questions until you were both settled, your bums on the pavement and you’d pulled out two pieces of coloured chalk. One pink and one blue. He extended his hand to reach for the blue but you pulled it away tutting at him.

“Not this one stupid, this one.” You handed the pink one and he stared at it in distaste. “But pink is not for boys, pink is for girls.” He complained and extended his hand out for the blue chalk again. “Blue and pink are two colours. That is all. My mommy says you shouldn’t think inside a box, you should expand your….” You stopped, your face scrunched up in concentration. “Skyline…or something.” Dejected at not having remembered the word you took a deep breath in and carried on. “ Anyways, so it doesn’t matter if you are a girl or a boy.” The boy looked at you in awe, his eyes blinking repeatedly in fascination. “O-kay.” He’s quick to relent and soon enough, the outline of a house could be seen in pink chalk in front of him. The excited screams of children could be heard from across the playground and suddenly someone is yelling a name. “Y/N!” The boy looks confusedly around him, expecting a response from the crowd of children that took up his spot near the monkey bars. Instead, you looked up and waved at the person yelling the name. “Are you coming?” They waved you over and for a second the boy thought you’d get up and leave him, like most of the people have done when they’ve discovered he was not only shy but also a cripple for the time being. He could feel his heart drop at the thought, nevertheless, you glanced at him briefly before shaking your head. “Nah.” The group didn’t even bother calling for you a second time, their attention grabbed by the colourful metal bars awaiting them.

“Oh yes, my name is Y/N!” You suddenly turned towards your companion, your beaming smile uncovering your missing tooth once more. “What is yours?”

The boy looked wearily at you, the thought of you staying with him despite his handicap warming his soul. He throws you a small smile, his chocolate eyes scrunching slightly at the action and you swore that in that moment you felt enraptured. “Yoongi.” He didn’t say anything else, his attention back to his dream house. Sure, it may have been in chalk but he was determined to have that. Admiring his work, his eyes trailed towards your form and he could feel a tender smile bloom on his face. Yes, he was determined to have that.

“You were the biggest sap I have ever met.” Back to the present, you and him had managed to make your way through the trees, the winding path taking you further into the park. The sounds of the city seemed far away from you now, the only sounds surrounding you being the busy chirp of birds and the rustle of the leaves in the wind. Yoongi laughed and prepared to prove you wrong, but if he was honest with himself, you weren’t. Taking his lack of response as a win, you grinned cheekily at him. “Do you remember the time you wanted to convince me to climb a tree with you? Because you were told that fairies lived in that tree?” You spied the redness colouring his cheeks, the memory was a blessing and a curse for him. He did ask you to climb into the tree with you, but your memory of that event was not entirely correct. He had asked you, not because he heard that fairies lived in that tree, but because he heard that if you climbed in it with your crush, you’d end up spending the rest of your life together. He was twelve at the time, barely getting out of his prepubescent phase where girls were disgusting to him. He had the shock of his life when he managed to escape such beliefs, only to be smacked head on into it with his best friend. His best friend who went on adventures with him, his best friend who’d sit on the swings listening to his stories of pirates and of dragons - no princesses because they were gross. His best friend who happened to be you. Suddenly, his stories included princesses and princes who saved them from the dragon; most often than not, his plan to be a prince would backfire and he would end up being bossed around and turned into the princess who needed to be saved. He took it all, and played the part with starry eyes, because it was you who asked this of him. Any other person and he would have kicked them in the shin. But for you, for you he was willing to face the wrath of his parents for being out late at night, he was willing to skip basketball practice, only to spend a few more hours with you.

“Correction love, I was made into biggest sap possible.” He narrowed his eyes at you behind his glasses, “who decided that being emo was the way to go, prepared to get your ears pierced and god knows how many tattoos, even though you are terrified of needles?” You couldn’t help but laugh at the memory, the exact conversation that you two had with each other, still ingrained in your brain. It was the first time he had admitted to feeling anything more than platonic love towards you.

You were both perched on top of your bed, your knees drawn to your chest, his, crossed at the ankles, his eyes pierced yours in the fiercest of stares and you drew your legs closer to yourself in an attempt to ward yourself from his stare. It was one of the first few times you had witnessed Yoongi this upset, and it scared you. Only because you had dared mentioning the tattoo you were planning to get, excitedly you even drew a design for it. Yoongi’s reaction was not what you’d expected. to be honest, you didn't even know what he would say, his emotions and mood swings could be extremely volatile- but it was definitely not this. “Yooooongiiiii,” you whined, his stare made you more uncomfortable as time passed and no word was exchanged between the two of you. His only response was a huff, but in your eyes that was better than the silence he’s been offering you for the past half an hour. “Look, it is not that big of a deal, I get this and then I will stop, I promise.” You pleaded, your eyes getting wider and wider, in your signature baby face. A face that Yoongi knew he could not win against, but this time, he would try his hardest. Seeing that your efforts yielded no results you sighed, the sadness that you’d tried to contain taking over you. Attuned to you and your moods more than he’d like to admit, Yoongi noticed the shift in your emotions straight away, and he shifted closer to you on the bed with a worried look. Neither of you uttered a word, the traffic outside your window being the only sounds that penetrated through the walls of your bedroom.

“Look,” you finally broke the silence, the angst in your sixteen year old heart too much to contain. “I just want to prove myself to him, okay?” Sensing Yoongi’s body weight shift on the bed, you hurriedly continued, “-and I know what you will say, I don’t need to right? But, you don’t know what it’s like. I have had this crush for so long now, it hurts physically.” Your voice broke and along with it so did Yoongi’s heart. He had tried his best to support you in all your endeavours, including your romantic ones, and yet, the older he got, the harder it was for him to dampen his own. “I do know.” He muttered and your head snapped up to look at him, he was facing away from you, a dusty rosy pink colouring his cheeks.

“What?” You whispered, your brain trying to recall if at any point Yoongi has expressed his interest in any girl, or boy for that matter. But no matter how hard you’d tried, there was nothing, not even in passing. So once he reiterated what he said before, this time louder, you looked at him bewilderment. “How, what, Yoongi, why did you not say something about this? Who is it? Do I know her? Is it a he?” In your excitement at this new reveal, you forgot all about your anxiety and hurt, yet, your incessant questions were causing him distress. Shifting away from you on the bed he rubbed the back of his neck, “forget I said anything.” But you would not have it, somehow, the thought of Yoongi having a crush on someone felt like Christmas. Maybe one day, both of your crushes would return your feelings, and then you would go on dates, you and him, and other people. Your brain froze at the thought of sharing him with other people, dread settling over you. You could not fathom not having Yoongi there for you. You have been together through thick and thin in the decade that you have known each other. He was there when your parents split up, he was there when you experienced your first teenage heartbreak, he was there to stop you when the hurt of having such a broken family made you resort to underage drinking. He was there to tell you how stupid you were and how you were not only hurting yourself, but you were hurting the people around you. He was there to remind you that you were not alone when you were faced with the hardest decision, to stay with your mother or leave with your father. He was there when high school entrance exams had a toll on you and you stopped eating, he was there to pick you up when you did not get into the same high school as he did. He was also there for the good times. But now that you thought about it, most of your good times involved him one way or another. When he took you to see a film that you had been gushing about yet he hated the genre, when he taught you how to ice skate, when you went to see his first basketball match, when he got you a puppy for Christmas so you would not be alone. He was there ingrained in your heart painting it in pink. The realisation that maybe it was not that one high school classmate that you liked hit you like a ton of bricks. It wasn’t him that made your heart race and butterflies race in your stomach. No, it was your best friend, Min Yoongi.

“Yoongi.” You hesitantly reached out to him, your hand brushing the sleeve of his hoodie. “I just…” He ran his fingers through his hair in frustration. He couldn’t tell you, not because he was afraid he would ruin a friendship, you were both stronger than that. But he could not bear the thought of placing his emotions on you, of influencing you that way. Mentally you were already burnt out, having pined over someone for so long and not having your feelings returned, that he was afraid you would just jump at the first opportunity of an escape. He did not want his affection for you to be your getaway car. It would only hurt you and it would ruin him in the long run.

Grabbing onto his hoodie, halting him from biting his thumb, an action you have come to realise was comfort for him when he was stressed, you pulled yourself more towards him. “I love you.” You whispered, your voice drowned by the sound of a car honking outside and for a second you prayed that he hadn't heard you, but judging by the way his whole body stiffened, a rock underneath your palm, you knew it was wishful thinking.

“You know, I didn’t think you’d heard me that day.” You mused your attention back to present Yoongi, the Yoongi that has already admitted to you on more than one occasion how much he loved you.

“What made you think that?” His gentle voice was matched by the movement of his fingers playing with yours. “It took you almost a year to reply or even acknowledge it.” You smiled wryly at him. Even though that had been in the past, the memory of the uncertainty and apprehension you lived through for a whole year was still fresh in your mind. After months of not knowing how to approach him, every awkward interaction strained the bond of your friendship, you argued with yourself whether or not it was fair on him for you to push and demand an answer, just for your peace of mind.

Yoongi’s fingers grip yours tightly in an attempt to soothe the ache he could read on your face at the memory. He couldn’t deny that he tried to ignore the drift that happened between the two of you that year, thinking it was best if you both got used to relying less on each other. After all, university was looming over the two of you, he was about to leave on a basketball scholarship, and as much faith as he had in your friendship, he did not want to burden you with his feelings. The only solution that he’s come up with was to let the relationship naturally drift apart.

“You were a bit of an asshole, you know?” You smiled at the thought, the one and only time he had ever made you cry throughout your friendship. So caught up in your thoughts, that neither of you has noticed the sight of the one place that was dear to both of you. The basketball court where his life has begun. “Should we go in?” you motioned towards the closed gates. “They’re locked.” The lock was indeed on the wired gate, but you grinned wickedly, a sight that told Yoongi you were about to suggest something that he may not agree with. “When did that stop us?” You laughed as he groaned in disapproval whilst taking his glasses off and placing them in his jacket. You were not wrong, it had never stopped you, and he had his fair share of keeping you out of detention on most days for jumping the school gates.”We are not school kids anymore, Y/N.” His tone sounded as if he was scolding you, but the glimmer in his eyes told you otherwise. You pull on his hand lightly, bringing him closer to you. “Please?” You whispered as you stood on your tiptoes, your lips only a breadth away from his. Yoongi faltered, he knew he couldn’t say no to you. He smirked, that did not mean he couldn’t request bribery though.

“Y/N, we’d be trespassing.” His tone was serious, but the pull at the corner of his mouth told you another story. You knew very well where this was going, but you would not give in that easily, two could play at this game. With a huff you grabbed the lapels of his jean jacket pulling him flush to your body, your noses touching. You licked your lips, the tip of your tongue ghosting over his. “Please honeyboy?” You pleaded, your glossy lips forming into a pout. Yoongi gulped, it took all he had to not sweep you off your feet and kiss you senseless. “Please.” You rubbed the tip of your nose against his softly and he had to close his eyes to calm himself down. “Love,” he warned and you knew that with one more push he would be all yours. “Yes, love?” You let go of his jacket only to trail your palms up his torso, feeling the muscles contract underneath your touch, to wrap your arms around his neck.

“Fuck it.” Yoongi grabbed your waist pulling you to him with such force you let out a yelp. Your bodies smacked against each other, your lips clashed in a searing kiss, a battle for dominance where there was no winner, just pure pleasure. You moaned into the kiss, his soft lips attacking yours roughly, his tongue slid into your mouth caressing yours. Out of breath you pulled away from him, you could still feel the phantom of his lips against yours. Panting slightly you smirked, “I won, now let's go.” You pulled away from his embrace and grabbed his hand pulling him along with you. Gobsmacked, Yoongi followed you, his eyes never leaving the back of your head. It’s been like this ever since you met, you would somehow convince him to get into trouble with you, and he would follow you like a lost puppy. No, he thought, like a lovesick fool.

“Come on, help me.” You giggled as you grabbed onto the fence ready to pull yourself up. Yoongi sighed but did what you asked, and soon you were both running towards the centre of the court, you a giggling mess and him laughing at your giddiness. As soon as you reached your destination you plopped yourself down gesturing wildly at him. “Come on slowpoke.” Yoongi shook his head at you but increased his pace until he hovered over you. He sat down next to you, the object in his back pocket poking him in the back. He sighed, worry washing over him. Needless to say he had no time to dwell on it as you wiggled yourself next to him, settling your head on his lap. “I missed this place.” You sighed, closing your eyes in bliss. The heat from the sun was less harsh than earlier as it was nearing late afternoon. You had walked the whole day stopping in places and getting ice cream and street food from vendors stationed in the park. It was a weekday and so not many people were milling about, giving you the perfect opportunity to enjoy yourselves. With Yoongi being a well known basketball player, it was easy for him to get recognised. Whereas, it wasn’t too much of a problem usually, you just wanted some time for yourselves.

“Hey,” he called out softly, his fingers playing with the tip of your ears. You whined and swatted at his hand. “Do you remember my last high school match?”

Your laughter died in your throat, and you opened your eyes slowly. That memory always brought tears to your eyes, the whirlwind of emotions you had gone through that day left a lasting impression on you. “You mean when you yelled in my face that you loved me and called me stupid in front of your whole team?” You smile wryly at him and he has the audacity to grimace. “In my defense, you were poking a sleeping bear.” His fingers traced the line of your nose until they reached the tip. “Sleeping bear indeed. That is a good self portrait.” You stuck your tongue out at him only to break out in peals of laughter when his fingers find the side of your hip.

“Stop, stop, stop.” You grabbed at his hand trying to get him to stop but his attack was relentless. “You know the words love.” He playfully reminds you and you bite your lip. “Okay, okay, okay, I'm sorry oh mighty honeyboy. I didn't mean to poke fun at you or your skills.” You mock saluted, and he pinched you lightly as a warning, his eyes narrowing.

For a few moments it is silent, both of you enjoying the remnants of the sun, hands intertwined together until you break the stillness by asking the question that hung over the both of you. “Would you have done it all the same?” Yoongi knew what you meant, you were asking him if it were not for the loss of his team then, and the loss of his scholarship, would he have confessed to you that day?

“Yes.” He sighed, there was no need to avoid the inevitable. “Maybe not then, maybe not until years later, but I would have.” You lifted your head up briefly to glance at him, “would you have waited so long? Why?” Your voice is soft, any traces of mischievousness gone.

“Because I had loved you for a long time, even before you said anything.” He sighs, he’d never told you this. After he confessed that day, you never talked about it again. You took it at face value, never once questioning his feelings for you, or their duration for that matter. Your eyes widen in surprise. “Wait, you had?” Yoongi nods at your question, his eyes finding yours as he continues, “ever since you took my hand that day.” He smiles softly at you and you couldn’t stop the watery laugh that escapes. “Well, I enjoyed my aggressive confession, and I would not trade it for the world.” Yoongi could only laugh, the embarrassment present in his voice, he had not meant to be that aggressive but his team had lost, he was injured and you were a crying mess yelling at him for not being more careful.

“Why could you not be more careful? Who cares if you win or not? Did you have to step in at that time?” Eighteen year old you was an emotional mess. For the past year and a half yours and Yoongi’s relationship had suffered tremendously, you experienced your first heartbreak when he chose to ignore your confession, and your second heartbreak when your first boyfriend became too intimidated by your friendship. itting there on the sidelines, watching with your heart in your throat as Yoongi tried to placate the ball only to get hit in the chest with so much force he laid there on the ground for a good two minutes;Needless to say that had been your breaking point. You knew you weren’t being fair, this match was everything to him. This match determined whether or not he would get the scholarship for the university he wanted to get into. Now that they had lost, he also lost the chance to get it. You knew all that, but the sight of him sprawled on the ground unmoving was too much for you, and as soon as the referee had called for the end of the match you ran as fast as you could.

The team gathered around the two of you, after you have managed to break the ranks and slot yourself between them to reach him. You didn’t care that everyone could hear your argument, all you could see was him and his recklessness. Yoongi did not move a muscle, his impassive face not giving away any of his feelings and that only fuelled your anger even more. “Yoongi! Stop being stubborn, talk to me!” You pulled at his jersey, desperate for a reaction. You didn’t even notice the tears that had started to trail down your face, too caught up in lecturing him. He did however, and with a sigh he ran his hands over his face. He really did not want to cause a scene in front of his teammates, but you were not giving up, and the sight of your tears hurt him more than the kick to the chest he’s gotten.

“You know this matters for me Y/N, why are you being like this!” He finally acknowledged you, the tone of his voice still calm and collected. “Because I care damnit!” You pull harder as if that would make him answer you truthfully. Instead of paying attention to you, Yoongi just looked down at his shoes, dreading this conversation. He’s done so well to avoid talking about this, and even though he noticed that this was something you haven’t forgotten, he hoped that when you finally got your first boyfriend things would change, and you would forget about him. He knew it was selfish of him but he couldn't help being relieved when he was offered the easy way out.

“Why?” His voice is a whisper, but you heard it, the sounds of the crowd not even reaching your ears, all you could see was him. Sniffling you let go of his top, defeated you wiped your tears with your hoodie - his hoodie to be precise. “Because! Does it matter?” You don’t whisper, your voice rings loudly, tired or not, you can’t let your chance go to waste. That was the first time he addressed your feelings and you would take it and fight until the end.

“Yes, yes it does!” He raised his voice, the frustration at your stubbornness finally getting to him. “Why would you do this to you? To me? I tried my best to be diplomatic about this! And you are making it so damn difficult!” You flinch at his tone, he’s never raised his voice at you before, but you were not one to back down. Not now, when you finally have the chance to express your true feelings towards him.

“Because I am not a pushover! And because I am not scared! And because I believe in us! And…” the sob that escapes you turns into a hiccup and you paused to wipe at your tears again. Yoongi’s face softened, regret washing over him. He knew he was at fault, for your tears, for your insecurities. But knowing and witnessing how much it had affected you was a different story. “And because I believe in you. So then why would you do this?” If Yoongi had any mind to carry on pleading ignorance, after your confession, it had all gone out the window. Your words hit him like a ton of bricks, the love he harboured for you invading his thoughts and his heart like a tsunami. There was no way he could deny anything now, so he prayed that he would not have to be faced with the truth, one last attempt at avoiding it.

“Why would you leave me stranded like that?” Your shoulders slump, the fight leaving your body, and suddenly your knees feel like gelatin. You stumbled slightly, when a pair of arms wrapped themselves around you, pulling you tightly towards their chest.

“Because I love you, stupid.” The familiar scent of your best friend surrounded you and for the first time in a year, you smiled.

You’re brought back to the present by the warmth of a hand on your cheek. “Love, it’s getting late, and there is one more place we need to visit.” If you hadn’t known Yoongi for so long you would have missed the slight waver in his voice. But you were attuned to every little change in disposition so even the smallest hesitation that you could hear in his voice allerted you. Opening your eyes, you study his face, his pouty lips, the slightly uneven shape of his eyes, his nose, the way his hair falls onto his forehead. This was the man you loved and you would not have had it any other way. You reached out a finger slowly, his eyes following it closely, confused at your actions. When you were close enough to the tip of his nose you quickened your movement, poking his forehead without a warning. The astonishment is clear on his face and you can’t help but chuckle. “Right, where to mister?” You rise slowly on your feet, looking at him with curiosity. He didn’t mention a last spot before and you couldn’t think of any other places that you may have missed.

Taking your hand he guided you out of the court, watching you like a hawk as you descended the gate. Once out, he took your hand in his and beamed. “Where it all began.”

Reaching your final destination, your feet sunk in the soft sand, taking you nearer to the colourful monkey bars that stood proud in the middle of the playground. Twenty years had passed since you have met each other, yet nothing had changed. The sandbox was still full and remnants of castles blown by the wind were scattered around it. The sound of children playing games and running around still as much the soundtrack of the playground as it had been back then. The monkey bars looked old and rusty, however their colours were shining brightly in the light of the setting sun- clearly having been painted recently. The only difference from two decades ago stood out like a sore thumb. It was you and him. Still hand in hand at the playground, so similar to your seven year old selves and yet so different. This time you were not two children, setting out on a path of beautiful friendship, you were not even young lovers, giddy with the thrill of your first love, you were two grown ups, having gone through trials in life and love, ready to take on the world and whatever life handed you together.

You let go of his hand, the loss of heat instantly making you shiver, and you grabbed onto the top of the bar, struggling to lift your legs up. Yoongi laughed at you but at your whines he hurried to help you, grabbing you by your thighs, giving them a push. Now wrapped around the bars like a monkey, your head hanging upside down, you let your head drop and closed your eyes. The utter bliss that surrounded you alongside the warmth of the setting sun made you smile in contentment. “Hey Yoongi.” You called out for him, but after a few seconds had passed and you received no response you opened your eyes scanning your surroundings confusedly. He was nowhere in your sight, and for a second doubt gripped at your heart. Had he left without telling you?

Scouring the playground you let your legs drop to the ground. You did not know whether it was the impact of your feet touching the ground, the thrill of jumping off the monkey bar or the fact that as soon as you turned around, he was there less than a feet away from you, a gentle smile on his face, his hand extended towards you- but your heart felt like it would explode. With the feelings coursing through your veins too much to contain, your lips twitched. You wanted to scold him for disappearing out of your sight, you wanted to run into his arms and kiss him senseless, so confused at your own thoughts that you stayed rooted on the spot gaping at him like a fish out of water.

“Love?” The tender look never leaving his face, the corners of his lips twitched. He took a step closer to you, with each step the heaviness of his pocket reminding him of his mission. Taking your hand in his gently, he ran his thumb over your knuckles, the action sending shivers down your spine. Blinking repeatedly at him you closed your mouth, reminding yourself to breathe, as it seemed that you had forgotten how to. The sight of him encased by the low light of the dawn, his light blonde hair reflecting the golden hues creating a halo around him, was enough to take your breath away. The pads of his fingers gently traced up your hand until they reached your wrist, wrapping around it and gently pulling you along.

You did not question him, your feet moving of their own accord. You followed him blindly out of the playground back towards the cement pathway, as you had for the past twenty years of your relationship. Coming to a stop on the pavement where you once shared your hopes and dreams in chalk, he grabbed both of your hands. His distress was instantly evident in the way they trembled, the clammy grip he had on you, similar to the one you had on him all those years ago. Giving him a reassuring squeeze, you waited for what he had to say, your brain going into overdrive.

“Close your eyes.” His voice is soft, so unlike the tough persona he displayed for the public, yet so much like the Yoongi that you have grown up with. You slowly close your eyes, and for a few seconds all you hear is silence, until a rustle draws your attention. You can’t feel his hands on yours anymore and you drop them to the side, patiently waiting for him to allow you to open your eyes. Your ears perked up at the sound of scraping, the softness of the sound rhythmic as if it followed the beat of your heart. As soon as the noise started trailing Yoongi’s voice broke you out of your trance, and this time, the tone of his voice demanded attention, so when he told you to open your eyes you did so without hesitation.

Your eyes locked onto his, the love and adoration in them washed over you in waves, making you tremble with the intensity of it. His head tilted to the side, the smile pulling at the corners of his mouth and you knew in that moment that this was it for you, he was your forever and he would always be. “Y/N,” his voice carried over to you snapping you out of your daze, his head motioning to something in front of him. Slowly your eyes followed the movement and a small gasp escaped your lips, tears welling up in your eyes.

“Love.” That was enough to break the dam that held your feelings together and you all but dropped to the ground, sobs surging through your body. In panic Yoongi made a move to get to you, scenarios of you rejecting him playing out in his head. You did not try to stop him, basking in his warm embrace, lifting you up and giving you strength as he usually did. You closed your eyes letting another fresh trail of tears run down your face. “Love, please you are scaring me.” His voice broke, and he could feel the wetness gathering at the corner of his eyes. Your only response was to grab onto him tighter, hoping that if you brought yourself close enough to him, you would become one, and he would be able to understand how much love was running through your veins at the moment, how much respect and adoration, for the man that has constantly been by your side, the man who decided that playing with chalk that fateful day was what he had wanted, the man who decided that your loud mouth was worth loving and kissing every morning and every night. You broke away from his embrace to glance once more at the pavement. Feeling a new wave of tears gather in your eyes making your vision blur, you quickly wiped them away.

“Yes.” You sniffed as you looked up, your eyes locked with Yoongi’s teary ones. “Yes you silly man.” His smile widened little by little, until all you can see are his cheeks and his teeth. “Really?” the elatedness was apparent in his voice and in that moment you do not see a twenty eight year old man, you see the seven year old whose hand you took; the child with a broken leg you dragged along to play with you. The child whose hand you would take each year; the child whose hand would become your anchor, the hand you would get to hold forever. Nodding erratically you wrapped your arms around his neck, your lips finding his.

As you kissed under the setting sun, two united souls, the sidewalk chalk writing next to you told the story of your future.

‘Will you marry me?’

Main Masterlist

[lucy90712]

Sapnap- face cam

Wc- 1987

Warnings- none (I think)  I've been up for almost 30 hours mainly because I was doing college homework all of last night and because my boyfriend Sapnap was streaming and being very loud which kept me up in the first place which was why I did my homework anyway. I love Sapnap to death but sometime he can be a little annoying but I put up with it.

Sapnap only got into bed at 4am and he's still asleep now at 11pm meanwhile since then I've finished a big essay, cleaned the apartment, done another essay and then made breakfast for myself which I'm eating now. I wish I could be this productive when I've had sleep but somehow it never works like that.

Eventually Sapnap came downstairs sauntering because he was still sleepy, some of us wish. He walked right over giving me a hug from behind as I washed some dishes and gave me a kiss on my cheek.

"Morning babe you alright?" He asked

"Yeah I'm good a little tired but I'll live" I replied

"Just to let you know I'll be streaming later" he said

He always tells me when he's streaming because his fans don't know about us and he doesn't want to accidentally reveal anything to protect me which is cute but it gets hard when he streams for hours on end and I need help with something. Sapnap is good about to it though if I really need help I either text him or message him on discord and he'll help but he sometimes doesn't read his messages.

I gave him some of what I made for breakfast and he sat down to eat it while I talked at him about college work that he pretends to care about. He's very supportive of all my college work and he'll let me get on with things if I have to but he will also talk about things with me if I want to. Thats one of the best things about Sapnap is his ability to adapt to how I'm feeling at any given moment and I like to think I'm at least ok at doing the same for him.

After breakfast Sapnap cleaned the rest of the dishes and let me take a shower which was nice and relaxing and woke me up a little bit as the cold water at the start hit my back, usually I would not be under the water as it warmed up but today I felt like I needed a shock to my system to get it going for another day. I had more homework and a lecture to do today so there was no chance for a nap until the evening when it's kind of pointless anyway.

After my shower I got dressed into some sweatpants and a t-shirt because it was comfy for sitting down all day in. Sapnap had got my laptop ready for me and had got me a glass for water which was sweet of him. My lecture was in about 2 minutes so I logged onto the class ready for it to start, when it did I put my headphones on so that Sapnap didn't have to listen to my teacher going on about whatever we were doing today, he always says he doesn't care but even I don't want to listen to it sometimes so there is no way he does.

As I tapped away making notes Sapnap put his hand on my knee rubbing his thumb in circles comfortingly. He does this all the time whether its sat on the sofa like right now or while we're driving somewhere but its safe to say that I love it, it lets me know he's there in a weird way it's like he's acknowledging my presence. At one point he got up and went to the kitchen and when he came back he had my favourite snack which he put between us so that we could share. What a lovely boyfriend he's being today, I'm starting to wonder what he thinks he's done that's he's trying to make up for.

My lecture finally finished after what seemed like and age so I went to get straight on with my last essay that needed submitting by the end of the month but Sapnap shut my laptop before I could get the document open, he grabbed my hand and pulled me up from the sofa and towards the door.

"Come on were going out for a walk" he said

"Why, I have an essay to work on" I whined

"You'll never leave the house if I don't drag you out so come on" he said handing me my shoes

I put them on and grabbed a jacket because according to the weather it was meant to be a little bit chilly out today, Sapnap grabbed the house keys and pushed me out the door onto the street. We don't often go out on walks because neither of us like leaving the house that much if we were to go out it would most likely be in the car to just go for a drive.

The two of us walked down the street holding hands and swinging them back and forth as we took steps forwards. Sapnap clearly had a good idea of where he wanted to go because he was making turns all over the place. Eventually we ended up at the target not that far from our place and we went in looking at everything like you do in target and we topped up on some snacks for a movie night soon.

We left with our snacks and Sapnap dragged me to the nearest park so we could sit outside and get a bit more fresh air. The nearest park is actually the one that we went to on one of our first dates so we have good memories there, on one of the benches by the duck pond is where we had our first kiss and many more after that.

I always love going back to that park with Sapnap because each time we reminisce on the past and talk about the future which seems to change each time we come here. We walked to the exact bench that we had our first kiss on and sat down looking at the scenery. It had changed quite a bit since the first time we were here, there used to be a little play park for kids in the distance but now thats gone and is replaced with a small flower garden instead.

The first time we came here and we talked about the future all we wanted was to still be together after we left for college which of course happened, then the next time we wanted to move in together which we did and now. I'm not really sure what the future holds for us but I'm sure it will be interesting.

"Wow its been so long since we came here we have changed so much and achieved everything that we wanted to" he said

"I know its so weird to think that our last goal was to move in together and now we have been living together for 5 months where do you think we will end up in the future?" I asked

"On man I have no idea but I would love to still be living together and maybe in a bigger place and maybe even be engaged" he said

This shocked me I never expected him to say that but I guess that is the next logical step for us to take in our relationship.

"I like the sound of that" I said  

We went back home and Sapnap went to stream while I worked on my essay he didn't tell me how long he was going to stream for but it will probably be about 3 hours. So I sat down and got on with writing the last 15 pages of my essay which would probably take me the entire time he was streaming maybe longer.

My essay took me almost exactly 4 hours to do but when I tried to submit it it wouldn't upload which happens from time to time. I looked at the upload speed of the WiFi since Sapnap taught me how to do it and it was fine but I assumed that it was being used for something else. This problem has happened before when Sapnap is uploading a video so I assumed that was the issue.

It got up and walked to Sapnap’s streaming room waiting outside for a moment to double check that he wasn't still streaming, I waited a couple minutes and heard nothing so I knocked and went in.

As soon as I went in I saw that Sapnap was still streaming and his face cam was on which meant that I was now on his stream in front of however many people. I've never made such a stupid mistake especially one that outs my entire relationship, I just stood in shock not being able to move and get out of the shot. Sapnap had the exact same reaction his face was filled with shock and fear at the same time.

Nothing prepares you for the moment that you expose yourself live in front of probably 100,000 people or more who will record anything that happens. Nothing prepares you for the chaos that will ensue when you do the before mentioned thing and definitely nothing prepares you for the guilt you feel doing so.

"Um hi y/n" He said trying to make things less awkward

"Hey" I replied shyly

He motioned for me to come over because there was no point trying to hide this anymore since no one will believe anything we say now. I stood next to Sapnap luckily being short enough that I still fit in frame but he had obviously given up caring at this point because he pulled me down into his lap to sit while we talked to his chat. Again he did the thing where he rubs his thumb in a circle on my leg and this time it really was for comfort.

"Well chat this is y/n and shes my... girlfriend" he said

"Hi everyone" I said shyly

"Now chat I'm going to need you to be nice to her or I'll be angry because she is very precious to me" he said

His chat were going insane telling others to clip this and people getting way to excited about all of this and some were asking questions. The whole chat was going so incredibly fast that it was hard to read all the messages.

We answered some of the basic questions like how long we have been together and other things, people also asked if George and Dream knew which of course they did and they have made jokes about Sapnap having a girlfriend but no one ever took it too seriously. At one point dream joined the call and started mocking us for being stupid and exposing ourselves and he told some stories that he knew we wouldn't mind him saying which the chat enjoyed.

I started yawning more and more as I stayed on the stream because I wasn't keeping my mind busy my tiredness was taking over. I leant back into Sapnap to rest my head on his shoulder, he out his hand on my head running it through my hair which is very relaxing.

"Are you tired?" He asked

"No I'm fine I can stay awake" I said

"I don't want to hear it I know you've been awake for over 24 hours so you are going to sleep" he almost demanded

He put his arms around my waist and pulled me into a comfortable position where I closed my eyes and fell asleep almost right away forgetting that Sapnap was still streaming but it doesn't matter.

[tsumucore]

Playing ACNH hcs ♡‧₊˚

here’s some hcs of Atsumu, Kuroo, Suna, and Akaashi playing animal crossing bc it’s been on my mind :3

｡･:*:･ﾟ★,｡･:*:･ﾟ☆｡･:*:･ﾟ★,｡･:*:･ﾟ☆｡･:*:･ﾟ★,｡･:*:･ﾟ

Atsumu

Gave into the hype just so he could say yeah I game 🙄😴 (he only has a switch bc the rest of inarizaki play smash)

Named his island “island”

He literally chose the most inconvenient layout when he started. His resident services is right smack in front of his airport so there’s like barely a sliver of walking space AND it’s slightly to the left so it ain’t even centered 💔

When the rest of inarizaki comes over to visit, he ends up getting slaughtered for his lack of “appealing scenery” and influx of weeds 😭 Osamu, Suna, and Aran are leading the revolution

Do NOT invite this mf over to your island he will trample all over your flowers, INCLUDING the hybrids. Isn’t even aware of the damage he’s caused until you’re chasing him with an axe and gifting him trash every day for the next two weeks

Gets on his knees and begs you for spare 30 iron nuggets 🤲🏼🥺

Listen he knows all villagers are created equal✨ and whatnot but he still screams every time he sees an ugly villager arrive at his campsite. He saw Limberg once, said No ❤️ and immediately closed out of the game

Whenever a villager he hates moves in, he spends a half hour straight hitting them with his net bc he thinks thats gonna get them to move out lmfao

Tries out all the tricks for getting a good island when he’s going villager hunting like clapping for Orville, showing up in dodo merch, etc

“Uhhh, you know it’s completely randomized right..? None of them actually work.” “Shut yer trap 🥰″

Man... he really sets his villagers’ nicknames for him as “daddy”

“What if you let me clap your cheeks in front of tom nook” “Upgrade your resident services first then we’ll talk, musty ❤️″

Kuroo

Denies, denies, denies that he plays the game he’s always like “nah, that’s for kids”

But literally everyone gets the notification that he’s playing all the time bc he doesn’t realize his online status is visible to everyone LMFAO

When you expose him, he just claims that Kenma forced him to try it out like ok Mr. 220+ hours 🙄

Horror themed island!!! He gets real creative with it - everything’s strategically placed and he’s got all sorts of rare and hacked items to work with, courtesy of Kenma’s activities on the black market. He has a lot of references to Japanese folklore sprinkled throughout his island

Naturally, Lucky’s his favorite villager; also has a soft spot for Kiki

NAH DON’T INVITE HIM TO YOUR ISLAND .. its so sad he’ll be looking around like “aww, it’s cute” JDSKHKDSHJ the humiliation

But he actually loves spending time on yours bc its such a change from his usual Eeerie one

Loves doing tarantula/scorpion islands - he’s got the patience n willpower to travel to a random island and turn it into a goldmine for scorpions

U guys will help each other out by tag teaming a gigas giant clam together and it turns into one big screaming match lmao

“It’s right by you!” “Ok, on the count of 3, I’ll lead it that way to corner it and you swoop in for the catch”

Yaku once commented on how his museum’s kinda empty and he let it get to him. He’s obsessed with digging up every fossil and catching every minuscule bug to make sure his collection’s complete like bro!!! It’s fine!!! Your island’s still better than mine!!!

Suna

Mf was able to snag the animal crossing edition of the switch before they all sold out

I feel like his island would be one of those cyberpunk tokyoesque ones. You: yeah my boyfriend’s a professional landscaper 🥰

The secret: he gets zooted when he’s terraforming at 3am

Really comes over to collect his diy from Celeste, laughs at your island, and dips

ALWAYS dripped out. U will NOT catch him slipping

Never has his net in his hand when he shakes trees bc he wants to be Daring

Blocked Atsumu for stealing his flowers when he wasn’t looking

The type to mass buy nook mile tickets on ebay and go on villager hunting sprees for his dreamies. You’ve often witnessed him on the brink of madness at 4am as he comes across Hippeux for the 11th time

Joins discord servers and participates in cataloging parties. He’s got the best items and color combos for everything. Also an avid user of nookazon

You: just a smidget of bells plth 🥺🥺🤲🏼🤲🏼

He pays off your debts for you 💅🏼

Makes you continuously press A to collect shooting stars for him when he goes to the bathroom. 

You: I’m tired I don’t wanna do this anymore

Him: That’s nice ❤️

He lets you take some star fragments in the morning tho for compensation

Hates talking to his villagers tbh bc its the same dialogue over and over again so he only interacts with them when he wants to give them fits

Gifts raymond the maid dress

He likes to lay on you and nuzzle into you as best he can when you’re both playing. You’ll both just lay there in a comfortable silence, doing your own thing n it’s honestly so therapeutic

Akaashi

He’s got a european town inspired theme going on - the color palette throughout his island is immaculate

It’s infuriating how perfect his island is when he isn’t even a time traveler. It took you months WITH time traveling to achieve an island that you’re somewhat satisfied with and he’s sitting there like yeah I hit 5 stars after three weeks❤️

You: ok jobless❤️

His museum’s fire; every time he collects a species for the first time, he immediately takes it to blathers. His fossil collection is also like 99% complete. The only thing that bothers him is how dry his art gallery is, so you always have to text him when redd’s on your island

Really vibes with Wolfgang

Managed to actually get all his rocks in a circle to make a rock garden??

You: HOW

Him: I don’t kiss and tell

Stargazing dates!!!! He always lets you know when there’s a meteor shower on his island and has the cutest lil stargazing area just for you two to hang out at

Usually plays the game muted so when he’s fishing he actually watches for the bob??? instead of turning that shit up on full blast and listening for the blubblub???

He’s shameless abt how much he wants Raymond and has spent a ridiculous amount of tickets looking for him. “He’s a cat with glasses and different colored eyes!!!!!”

When you got Raymond to move in to your island, he kept trying to convince you to gift him to him. This sweet talking mf kept trying to shower you with kisses and cuddles to get you to say yes.

“I’m not putting him in boxes.” “Go off 🧚‍♂️😍🤩 that cliff over there 🧚‍♂️🧚‍♂️💕”

｡･:*:･ﾟ★,｡･:*:･ﾟ☆｡･:*:･ﾟ★,｡･:*:･ﾟ☆｡･:*:･ﾟ★,｡･:*:･ﾟ

masterlist ｡･:*:･ﾟrules

[thinkingimmensely]

Okay. IV

Part 1 , Part 2 , Part 3

A/N: I have a sudden burst in inspiration and finally finished this chapter! Here’s to the hope this streak continues *crosses fingers*. I know it’s been forever and IDK if you guys still read this but I’m still trying my best to update as soon as I can, haha. I have also been reading fanfics again, thus a boost in creative juice.

Stay safe in these trying times everyone!

MATERLIST

Disclaimer: I don’t own anything from the Potterverse!

___________________

“Are you mental? What in the world were you doing back there?” You yelled as your friend laid in the sofa nonchalantly, throwing a ball up in the air and catching it as it fell back down, as if without a care in the world. You flicked your wand at the ball and it catapulted itself to the other side of the room before Sirius could even catch it again.  “Listen to me!”

“What’s the point?” He groaned and turned his back to you.  

You flicked your wand towards him and made him roll over and fall off the couch. “That was extremely rash. Careless and impatient of you.” You scolded as your friend rubbed his back in pain. “They changed the portrait,” you informed him as you ran a hand through your hair, “that annoying Sir Cadogan, still ranting on and on about knighthood I reckon.”  

“Well, you didn’t have any other brilliant idea, did you? Besides, what were you doing there in the first place?” He finally asked. When he entered the house hours ago after his failed attempt on getting inside the Gryffindor common room, he was welcomed by darkness and a letter from Dumbledore in the counter you left. It was nearly 4AM and you just arrived a few minutes ago.

“You read the letter, didn’t you? Dumbledore invited me, plus, I wanted to see Harry.” You mumbled the last part.  

Sirius smirked and approached you as you took a seat. “Did they all have their knickers in a twist?” He asked, his voice laced with mischief, as if he was actually proud with the reckless stunt he pulled.  

You couldn’t help but let out a snort, typical Black and his love to get into different heart-stopping situations. That was where he and Remus differed- Remus was your calm, and Sirius was like a whirlwind bent on destroying everything he passed through. Speaking of Remus, you still couldn’t get your meeting off of your mind, and your heart still picked up its pace every time you thought about it even though it started off the wrong foot.  

You kind of felt guilty with lying, even though what you said wasn’t technically a lie. Kind of. “Next time you try to go in, maybe try learning the password first, yeah? There’s a brilliant idea for you.” You murmured, not caring if your friend heard you or not.  

Talk around town was filled with nothing but Sirius Black the next few days. The theories on how he got in into Hogwarts became wilder and wilder that you heard a young Hufflepuff student babble on to anyone who would listen that Sirius could turn into a flowering shrub. Sirius had laughed for ten minutes straight at that. You became busier as well- McGonagall strode in one day asking to speak to you privately.

“Dumbledore has requested your presence in his office any time you are available.”  

You wiped your hands on your apron, giving your old professor a questioning look. “Um, you can tell him that I’ll be there in a few minutes then, just let me tell Madam Rosmerta-” You were about to head back inside before McGonagall cut you off.

“Actually,” She started and you stopped on your tracks and turned back to her, “I also have a request if it wouldn’t be too much for you.”

“Yes?”

She let out a sigh, “Well, I believe you are aware that Harry Potter is a Seeker in the Quidditch team?” You nodded dumbly, having no idea where this conversation was going. “Well, their first match is on Saturday and the students want to train during the evening. I have already asked Madam Hooch to oversee their sessions, but it would put me more at ease if you were there as well. For extra protection, especially since there is no sign of Black yet.”  

You blinked, processing everything she just said. She was basically asking you to keep an eye on your godson- You broke out into a smile, bobbing your head immediately, “Of course!” You stopped and regained your composure when McGonagall raised a brow at you, “I mean, yes, it’s no problem at all Professor; I’ll head to the Quidditch field every time I finish here then.”

McGonagall let out one of her rare smiles and nodded at you, she then told you she would be waiting for you so you could go to the castle together. Luckily for you, Madam Rosmerta had no qualms about you leaving early today so you left without much hassle and you and McGonagall headed to Hogwarts, making small talk here and there.

When you came here with Sirius, you didn’t expect to be going in and out of the school so much; especially since you’ve been laying low for the past ten years, leaving the Ministry and all that. “I believe you know your way from here.” McGonagall told you as you entered the castle, you nodded absentmindedly so she left you in the hall. 

The students stole glances at you as they passed by, some surely recognizing you from the Halloween feast. You stuffed your hands inside the pockets of your coat and made your way up the numerous staircases until you reached the familiar corridor that led to the Headmaster’s office.

You stood outside entrance covered by the large and ugly stone gargoyle. You were at a lost since McGonagall never mentioned the password to you. So how were you going to go inside now? Just before you turned on your heels to find someone who could get you in, the pathway opened as Remus came out looking rather under the weather. He stopped on his tracks when he saw you; he cleared his throat and fixed his tie. “Y/N” He tiredly greeted.

“Remus.” You answered with a nod. The both of you stood there awkwardly, not knowing what to talk about. You glanced behind him, at the stairway to the office, “Um, is Dumbledore available?”  

Remus turned and glanced at stairs as well, then looked at you again, “Uh- yes, yes he is, we just finished our discussion and he doesn’t have an audience now so...” He trailed off.

“Okay, I guess I should head in then.” You mumbled and walked past him before turning back, “Take care of yourself okay?” You told him. He gave you a curt nod before walking away, so you went on to your business.  

Sirius paced back and forth in the little house you shared. “Honestly, please sit down. You’re making me dizzy with all the pacing. It’s not good for the floorboards.” You snapped. He sat down next to you in the sofa and looked at you seriously. Despite the rather upbeat music that played from the radio in the corner, the room had a rather glum atmosphere.  

“Dumbledore wants you to-”  

“To patrol Hogsmeade and Hogwarts a couple of times in a week. Report to him if I find anything suspicious, or I see any clues where you might be.” You finished.

Sirius furrowed his brows, “But why? You’re not an Auror anymore, you don’t have to do shit for them.” He snarled. Because what ever did Dumbledore did for any of them when the Potters died? He gave Harry to those god-awful Muggles and hadn’t even tried to give a fair trial to Sirius.  

You looked up to your Headmaster, you always had, but sometimes... sometimes his actions frustrated the hell out of you. Sirius took your hands in his when he noticed your visibly upset face. “I shouldn’t have brought you here with me. I think they’re trying to get you back into their fold.”  

“Sirius, you must be forgetting something,” You gave him a bitter smile, “They’re not the enemy here.” Sirius sighed and dropped his head to your joined hands. You freed one and ran it through his black locks. “Besides, this just means I get to see Harry more often, and maybe help you if the situation requires it.” You smiled at the thought.  

“You’ll get to see Moony-” he mentioned, “You’re bloody miserable every time you see him again, I know you, when you came back after the feast and today, after that meeting with Dumbledore, you’ve been lost in thought. You still love him, don’t you?” He sat straight again and looked at you straight in the eye. “I don’t want to see you die a little inside every single time.”

Your smile faltered; you hadn’t realized that Sirius noticed. You thought you were being discreet about it. “I...” You inhaled sharply, “I never stopped.” You admitted for the first time, letting out a defeated breath. Your eyes watered as you tried to keep your emotions in check whenever Remus was the topic of your conversation. Sirius placed a warm hand on your cheek and wiped a stray tear away.  

“Moony’s a total git for letting you go.” He commented, you let out a dry laugh at that and he grinned. “C’mere” He pulled you up from the couch and held your hands, a playful glint in his eyes as he swayed to a different, but still upbeat song from the radio. He looked rather idiotic as he moved left to right in what could be called an impromptu dance. You laughed as he pulled you close and twirled you around at random moments, it was as if your worries and your hurt was being washed away and the once gloomy house was filled with laughter for the first time since you’ve been there. Remus, Peter, Dumbledore and the Dementors were faraway thoughts at that very moment because all you could focus on was your best friend who was swaying with you clumsily to a Muggle song the both of you didn’t even know the title of.  

As the song neared its end, your head leaned on his neck as he held you close, slowly turning with your hands still clasped together, relishing in the company and comfort the two of you gave to each other, but reality was slowly seeping back in by then and you stopped when the song ended. You pulled away from him; the two of you shared a look as static played in the background before you retreated to your bedroom, shutting the door softly behind you.  

___________________

Permanent Taglist:

@coffeeismylife28 , @oreofrappiewithblueberry

[stxrrywildflower]

out of the old (3)

pairing - spencer reid x reader

summary - you return to the bau

warnings - cursing, mentions of violence

series masterlist

on sunday before you left, you and spencer spent pretty much all day on the beach with your family. at sunset, you had headed home and once again took the outside shower. it wasn’t ideal but it would be some of the last moments of privacy you would have before returning to washington d.c.

spencer, with your approval, booked a flight for 4am the following morning. that way you could spend the night with your family and then go to work monday afternoon.

sunday night, you made sure to set your alarms for 2:30 in the morning before passing out. suitcases were already packed to minimalize the time it took you to get to the airport.

your alarm blasting woke you and spencer up out of your sleep. you stumbled over to the light switch and flicked it up to light the room. spencer groaned but also moved out of the bed. both of you changed into simple joggers and t-shirts before packing your final clothes away and moving downstairs.

your brother was taking you to the airport as goodbyes were exchanged the previous night. from there, morgan was picking you up at the airport when you got back to washington d.c. the drive was fairly short, your brother had then stepped out of the car to help you with your luggage. you hugged him goodbye before stepping back and adjusting your grasp on your suitcase.

“take care of her,” you heard your brother say as him and spencer pulled away from their embrace. you shot him one final smile before you and spencer made your way into the airport. within the next hour, you were on your flight.

you and spencer had both passed out for a large portion of a flight. you two always joked that it was your secret talent to be able to sleep on airplanes. the last half an hour, however, you woke up and immediately filled with nerves. spencer was still asleep beside you but woke up and noticed you bouncing your leg and tapping your fingers.

“nervous?” he laughed slightly. you looked at him, “it doesn’t take a profiler to notice, does it.” spencer shook his head before resting his hand on your thigh which stopped you from bouncing your leg.

you stepped outside after exiting the plane and grabbing your suitcase. spencer and you were engrossed in a conversation until there was a loud knock from the pickup sidewalk. morgan jumped out of the suv. the first thing he did was pull you into a tight hug.

“i’m happy you came back kid, we all missed you,” he spoke before grabbing your bag and tossing it in the back.

you and spencer weren’t due back at work until an hour or so later. morgan dropped you both off at your respective apartments to shower and change as well as grab your work stuff.

you jumped in the shower first, quickly rinsing off before getting changed into your black tight pants, a white blouse, and then your black combat boots for work. you re-packed your go back before grabbing that as well as your normal work bag. your badge slid easily into the front pocket. the last thing was your gun. it remained in its spot that you had left it. you picked it up and looked at it before clipping it on your waist.

after sending a quick text to spencer, you were out the door and to your car. the drive to the bau building wasn’t long but once you pulled in, you felt like you couldn’t breath. in minutes you would most likely see strauss or face the consequences from filing the report. your phone brought you back to your senses as spencer had texted and informed you he was already at his desk. you took one more deep breath before grabbing your bags and exiting your car.

you greeted the security guard who gave you a nice ‘welcome back’ as you walked to the elevator. once clicking the six, you closed your eyes as the elevator began to move. the doors opened quickly and you stepped out, looking at the office ahead through the glass doors.

hotch and rossi were up on the catwalk, discussing a case file hotch had in hand. spencer was talking to j.j. who looked as if she was showing him something on her phone. emily, derek, and penelope were all sitting by derek’s desk, laughing about some joke one of them made. you walked slowly towards the glass doors and once pushing them open, you almost felt the room stop.

your teams eyes shot over to where to stood. other agents who were working throughout the bullpen looked towards your direction for a few seconds before going back to their work. you pressed your lips together and walked to your desk across from j.j. you dropped your work bag on your seat and your go bag in it’s normal spot under your desk. as you did this, you noticed j.j. stand up.

when you turned to face her, she pulled you into a hug, resting one hand on your cheek and saying, “welcome back.” derek was smiling, as he already said hi to you and spencer had moved to the kitchen, most likely making coffee. garcia looked as if she was about to cry as she she stood up and hugged you.

“please don’t ever leave again. that was the most stressful few days,” penelope spoke softly. you smiled as a response, not wanting to promise anything. emily was next. after a hug from her, we sat down at your desk, deciding to deal with hotch and rossi in. a little bit.

your desk was exactly how you left it. the only difference was that your paperwork you had left was gone, most likely done by someone else in the office. your name plate remained face down, a reminder of your exit days ago. a coffee cup was then placed on the edge of your desk. you looked up to see spencer smiling as he spoke, “figured you may need this.” you quickly thanked him and sat back.

“y/n, can i see you in my office,” hotch called from the catwalk.

you stood up, trying to ignore your hands shaking as you made your way over to the stairs and up to hotch’s office. you followed your boss in before taking a seat across from his desk.

“strauss’ superior should be here in an hour. she is going to speak to me first and then strauss. after that, i am allowed to tell you the outcome. the good news is that by her visiting, that means that the charge is valid and some action will take place. now this can go one of two ways, strauss will be placed on temporary leave while her position is most likely terminated or she can take it to court. if the second option does that place, i’ll be your lawyer and we’ll present out information,” hotch explained.

you nodded to his words. “what happens if we get a case during all of this?” you asked. “the team currently isn’t allowed to travel until the whole thing is solved. as of right now, everyone is doing paperwork for the cases presented and helping build profiles for the police. and to keep a sense of normality, i expect you to do the same. j.j. has some of your files for you to look at.”

as you were on your way to leave hotch’s office, you stopped and turned around. “thanks again hotch, for everything i mean. i think the time off did me good.” hotch smiled slightly at your words before you exited the office and moved to your own desk. j.j. had already placed a couple files on your desk and you immediately got to work.

while you were writing up preliminary profiles, you couldn’t put all your focus on the cases in front of you. you felt as though any minute strauss or her superior could walk in.

when the superior did walk in, most of the agents stopped to show their respect for the woman. well respect was one reason and you were sure that the other was because she had power over the entire bau. you looked over at spencer and derek who’s desks were across from one another. spencer shot you a reassuring smile while derek motioned for you to continue working.

you turned away, resting your forehead on your hand as you continued to go through reports. however, out of the corner of your eye you could see the woman enter hotch’s office.

the next half an hour, yes that’s how long it took, was incredibly painful. the door was shut, thus preventing you from listening in but the blinds remained open. at one point, emily noticed your getting so antsy that she pulled you away to get coffee and relax for a few minutes.

finally, the woman exited the office. you had no clue what her name was but you and emily stood side by side as she passed. the woman shot you a smile which almost reassured you that the outcome was positive. she exited the bullpen before going down the hallway towards strauss’ office. you desperately looked up at hotch who was now on the catwalk. he smirked slightly and held up a file.

“hold this,” you said to emily as you handed her your coffee cup.

you rushed over the the stairs and into hotch’s office. “well?” you asked, bouncing on your heels. “all good news. do you want to hear the official statement?” hotch asked. relief flooded through you as you nodded.

“upon further investigation into assault charges on erin strauss, we have found her guilty of misconduct in the workplace as well as harassment of agents. with this information brought to us, we have no choice but to terminate her position and bring someone new in. there will be no court jury allowed as this is an official fbi matter. erin strauss must be out of her office and position by tuesday,” hotch read.

you placed one hand over your mouth while the other rested on your hip. tears began to form in your eyes as the information processed.

“she’s gone y/n, she won’t be able to be around you and harass you anymore,” hotch spoke as he stood up. you smiled after moving your hand away from your mouth. to hotch’s surprised, you hugged him. he quickly relaxed and hugged you back, knowing how big of a deal this was for you.

you pulled away grinning. “am i allowed to tell people? i’m guessing the team wants answers and i’m sure my family wants to know that i’m staying, you asked.

hotch nodded. “the news is going to spread like wildfire tomorrow so you can tell the team and your family but try and keep it quiet around other agents,” he informed you. you quickly thanked hotch once again before stepping out of the office. your team were all at their desks but it was very obvious they were trying to profile your meeting with hotch.

“i’m here to stay,” you spoke shakily.

spencer was the first one up. he pulled you into a tight hug, your arms wrapping around his neck as you buried your head in his shoulder. you couldn’t help but cry slightly. “i told you it would all be alright,” he whispered softly in your ear.

similar exchanges were exchanged with each of your teammates before you walked into the conference room and pulled out your phone. you quickly texted your family members who all agreed to call.

“hi everyone!” you greeted your family who’s pictures popped up on your screen. your family said their hellos before stopping to let you talk. “well i’m staying in d.c., the case went in my favor and strauss is technically being fired,” you informed.

“oh my god that’s amazing,” your brother spoke. you talked for a few more minutes before you had to get back to work. once sitting across from j.j., you finally felt like you could fully relax. strauss would be gone soon and you could finally stop worrying.

tuesday morning, you and spencer walked into the bau together. hotch has sent a text earlier letting everyone know that the team had a case and to meet at work before they would head to the airport. you first went over to your desk, grabbing your go bag before making a cup of coffee while you waiting for the team to arrive.

twenty minutes later, the entire team had arrived and were making their way out the office to the elevators. however, a shrill voice stopped them.

“how dare you,” you heard from behind you, causing you to spin around. there stood erin strauss, an agent beside her, most likely making sure she left on time. you pressed your lips together as the former superior agent stormed over to you. you stayed silent as staruss went on a tangent about the charge you had filed. 

“you have no authority over me anymore strauss,” you responded, voice extremely calm. “yeah and that’s your fault, i should have fired you a long time ago,” your former superior ranted.

“you know what strauss, you cant fire me now and you didn’t before. so i can say what ever i want to you. besides, i only have one thing to say,” you started, eyes flickering over to see her shocked expression.

“fuck you,” you spoke first, “now if you’ll excuse us, those of us who actually have jobs have a case to solve.” with that, you pushed past her, making sure to bump her slightly with your shoulder. your team followed you into the elevator.

you ran your hands through your hair and shut your eyes, not wanting to look at your team. suddenly, derek couldn’t help himself and began to chuckle. that resulted in the rest of the team starting to laugh.

“you really told her,” rossi said as the doors opened. “i only told her everything i’ve wanted to say since the acadamy,” you replied.

just as the team was begining to pile into the cars, spencer pulled you back for a moment. his hands moved to your hips as he placed a soft kiss to your forehead. “i’m so proud of you,” he whispered. when you were about to respond, a honk of the car stoped you. your and spencer’s heads looked over to where the car window rolled down to reveal a smirking j.j. and derek.

“hey love birds! we got a case to solve!” morgan shouted. you rolled your eyes before getting in the backseat of the car.

you couldn’t contain your smile as you realized that you really were finally free.

[abused-sides]

Could you write maybe a short angst/fluff thing about them discovering each others triggers and talking about them and how to avoid them? (My family and the people around me dont really respect mine so this is kinda just a request for me to project onto 😅 you absolutely dont have to tho)

fuck your family we’re your family now 

Trigger warning: This au follows the sides as abuse survivors. 

Other tws for: Yelling, arguments, passive aggression, non-censored homophobic slur used to talk about oneself, sl*t used in a joking and literally not at all degrading/mean manner also non-censored, drama violence (like reading a script), flashback/panic attack, ableism off screen, throw up mention, allergies mention, glass breaking, lmk if i missed anything! <3 

enjoy the hurt/comfort lol it took me like an hour and a half xD 

Edit: love when it just doesn’t fucking add the read more :) sorry about that guys

Virgil: 

-While Virgil was helping Patton fix dinner, Roman and Logan started an argument at the table. Logan was upset that Roman hadn’t finished his chore list for the week, but Roman insisted that he would finish it and he just needed some extra time to work on commissions. 

-Logan: We all have jobs, Roman, we still manage to get our chores done! This place is a mess half of the time and that’s largely due to you neglecting the list. 

-Roman: Why are you acting like some weekly chore list is worth more than our jobs? Isn’t that why we moved in together, to pursue our passions?

-Logan: How are we meant to do that when we’re living in a mess? 

-Roman: You’re completely overreacting. 

-Logan: Fine. You’re right. I’ll just do everything. Sorry to be a bother. 

-Virgil had slipped away from his job chopping vegetables to glance at the missing items on Roman’s chore list. The first one read sweep and mop the floors. He silently took the broom from its spot between the fridge and the counter, and worked on piling up the mess on the floor. 

-Logan was about to storm out of the room, when he noticed Virgil. 

-Logan: Are you okay? 

-Virgil: Hm? I’m fine. 

-Logan: You’re shaking. 

-Patton: Of course he’s shaking. Would it kill you two to be nicer to each other? 

-Realization dawned on Logan’s face. He bit his lip as he thought, and then turned to Roman. 

-Logan: I don’t like it when you neglect your chore list. I understand you’re busy, but it makes life harder for all of us. 

-Virgil stopped sweeping, looking at Logan in confusion. 

-Roman was just as confused. 

-Roman: I... Yeah, I got that, weirdo. 

-Logan: I want to make sure there’s no confusion. Do you have anything you want to say to me? 

-Roman’s eyes flicked between Virgil- Shaking, gripping the broom, staring at them with wide eyes -and nodded slowly. 

-Roman: Some weeks I can’t complete the entire chore list. Finishing my commissions are more important. The kitchen can be cleaned later. 

-Patton: And I can help! I don’t mind chipping in on chores. 

-Logan: I can live with that. I’m going to my room. 

-After that, there was an unspoken agreement to state things plainly, especially when fighting, and to try and keep the yelling at a minimum. Janus and Remus may have appreciated it even more than Virgil did. 

Patton: 

-Janus and Remus were visiting for a movie night, and they were still setting up. Patton fussed over the organization of the snack table, Roman over who sat where. 

-Remus: I’ve got my seat! 

-He flopped into Janus’ lap, who grunted. 

-Janus: Jesus Christ, babe. 

-Logan: You two are so... 

-Remus: What? Sexy? 

-Logan: No... Not the word I’m looking for. 

-Remus: A cute couple of boys? 

-Logan fought not to laugh. 

-Logan: No... Not that, either. 

-Remus: Just an attractive pair of young faggots? 

-While Logan, Roman, and Janus burst out laughing, Patton choked. He covered his mouth and tried to recover, but the others laughing quickly died down. 

-Virgil: *softly* Patton? Are you okay? 

-Patton: I’m fine. 

-He forced a weak smile. 

-Patton: Are we ready for the movie? 

-Remus: You look like you’re going to be sick. Is it something I said? 

-Patton: It’s not a big deal-

-Janus: Bullshit. Tell us. What, Remus calling us faggots? It’s okay to laugh, we know we are. 

-Patton didn’t take the bait, shakily sitting down. Janus’ grin faded. 

-Patton: I just... I don’t like that word too much, I guess. It, um... 

-Virgil: *quietly* Bad memories? 

-Patton nodded quickly. 

-Remus: Jesus! You should have told me! I’m sorry, Pat-A-Cake! I guess Janny and I have just been calling each other that for so long, I forgot it bothers some people. 

-Janus: Yeah, um, I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have encouraged it, it wasn’t very-

-Patton: Guys, stop. You don’t have to apologize, okay? I’m okay. 

-Roman opened his arms with a soft smile. Patton sighed happily and crawled into his lap, his back against Roman’s chest. 

-Remus: So what can I say instead? Slu-

-Janus slapped his hand over Remus’ mouth. 

-Janus: Why don’t you just try behaving? 

-Patton: *laughing* No, I’m actually pretty used to that one. Roman can’t see a cute boy without calling himself that. 

-Remus: Perfect. Was that the word you were looking for, Logan? Just a bunch of cute little sluts? 

-Logan slapped his hand to his forehead. 

-Logan: *dryly* That’s exactly the word I was looking for. 

Logan: 

-The morning was a busy one. Logan had three projects due that he’d somehow neglected, Roman had two auditions, Patton had an increase in orders to pass out, and Virgil had an interview for an apprenticeship at a tattoo parlour. 

-Everyone raced around the kitchen-- No time for a family breakfast today. Logan banged at the coffee maker as it went painfully slow, Patton trying to carefully package a box of cupcakes. Roman slid between the two of them to get to the fridge, nearly tripping over Logan’s feet. 

-Roman: Hey, watch out! Tryna get out the door here! 

-Logan stiffened. 

-Logan: Apologies, Roman. 

-Roman looked at him in confusion at the formal tone, but shook it off and grabbed his water bottle so he could race out the door. Soon, the apartment was empty, everyone left to their respective tasks. 

-Logan didn’t come home for a while. 

-Patton left a sticky note on Logan’s door to say his dinner was packed up in the fridge for whenever he wanted it, but couldn’t stop feeling worried. He stayed up until 4am on the couch watching cartoons, eventually passing out. 

-When Logan still wasn’t home in the morning, Roman carried Patton to bed and stormed across the hall. 

-He rapped loudly on the door. It swung open a moment later, revealing the tired, angry face of his brother. 

-Remus: What do you want? 

-Roman: Is Logan with you? 

-Remus: Well, I know where he’s not. 

-Roman: I’m not fucking around. Just tell me-- We’re worried about him!

-Remus arched an eyebrow, a sick grin spreading across his face. 

-Remus: *whispering* Are you now? 

-Roman: What’s going on? Is he okay? 

-Remus: *voice still hushed* You would think out of all of us, you and I would know better. You and I would know exactly what to say to make someone feel worthless. The difference is, it’s usually me who says it, and you who avoids it. 

-Roman: I don’t get it. What did I say? Did I hurt him? 

-Remus: He feels like a waste of space in his own home! 

-Roman pushed past Remus into the apartment, finding Logan asleep, Janus curled around him protectively. 

-Roman: Logan! 

-Logan and Janus both startled awake. Janus glared and hissed. 

-Roman: My God, why didn’t you tell anyone you weren’t coming home? We were so worried! Patton stayed up all night waiting for you! Why was your phone off?! 

-Logan frowned in confusion and sat up, self-consciously scooting away from Janus and brushing his arm away. He found his glasses and put them on. 

-Logan: What? I just figured, the apartment seemed cramped lately, people were getting cranky. Janus and Remus offered to let me stay before in the past, so I thought I might give you all some space. 

-Roman shook his head wildly. 

-Roman: Why would you think that? You scared us! Dinner’s still waiting for you in the fridge, and- and you could have at least called us to let us know! 

-Logan fought not to shrink in on himself. He was silent for a while, before he said, quietly, confused, “I thought this was what you wanted.” 

-Roman: No. Where did you-

-Roman paused. 

-He felt so stupid. 

-Roman: No- God, Logan, I’m so... I’m so sorry. I didn’t- I wasn’t thinking. I’m sorry I ran into you, and then... 

-Janus and Remus looked at Logan, waiting his response before reacting. 

-Logan: It’s okay, Roman. I guess I just got confused. Has Patton started on breakfast yet?

-Roman: No, he’s asleep. 

-Logan: I’ll make breakfast. I’ll be there in five minutes.

-Remus gripped Roman’s shoulder. 

-Remus: I’ll show you out. 

Roman: 

-Roman and Remus were in the main four’s living room, scripts in each hand. Roman had asked Remus’ help in reading lines for a scene, and they had both gotten way too into it. 

-Patton: Be careful with my throw pills! My sister stitched those! 

-Remus cackled maniaclly from his position on the couch, a plastic sword held at Roman’s throat. 

-Remus: Now what did I tell you?! 

-Roman, on his knees on the carpet, faked a pained groan. 

-Roman: It’s not true. 

-Remus: Still thinking that, huh? What do I have to do to get it through your head? Beat it out of you?! 

-Remus lurched forward with his fake sword. 

-Roman’s heart stopped, the blood drained from his face, and he threw himself away from Remus’ advance. He fell back, nearly knocking his head against the coffee table they moved, crossing his arms in front of his face. 

-Remus: Roman? *nervous laughter* Come on, I know I’m not that good an actor. Are you... Okay? 

-Roman shakily lowered his arms, staring at Remus with wide, paranoid eyes. He gasped for breath. 

-Patton jumped up from the kitchen table and raced into the living room. Remus caught Patton by the waist as Roman flinched and covered his face again. 

-Patton’s eyes welled up. 

-Patton: Roman? Roman, what’s wrong? 

-Remus: *mumbling* Go sit on the couch, I’ll wave you over. 

-Patton didn’t want to, but he listened. Remus sat on the ground, plenty of space between him and his brother. 

-Remus: Ro? I need you to look around, tell me five things you can see. 

-Roman: Stained- Stained glass. 

-Remus: There’s no stained glass here. Look around, harder. What do you see?

-Roman: Your stupid mustache. 

-Remus: *laughing* Yeah, that’s good. What else? 

-Roman: Um... Um- The- The carpet. 

-Remus: What colour is the carpet? 

-Roman: Green- No. No, it’s beige. 

-Roman ran his fingers along the beige carpet, trying to control his breathing. 

-Remus: That’s good. Three more. 

-Roman: I see Patton. Um, his glasses. There’s flour on his hands. Does that count? 

-Remus: Sounds like five to me. Four things you can touch? 

-Roman: Carpet. Um, my shirt. The table. Y-You? 

-Remus scooted forward slowly and opened his arms for Roman to curl into. Remus held him tight, his chin rested on Roman’s shoulder. 

-Remus: Tell me three things you can hear. 

-Roman: Your heartbeat. Patton crying- Patton, please, love, I’m okay. 

-Patton: I- I know. I’m sorry. I just- I know. 

-Roman: Patton’s voice. 

-Remus: Two things you can smell. 

-Roman: That awful deodorant you use. And Janus, for some reason. 

-Remus: One thing you can taste? 

-Roman: Salt. 

-Remus: You back in the present now? 

-Roman buried his face in Remus’ chest. Remus held him tightly and waved Patton over. Patton staggered to his feet and Remus gently transferred Roman to curl in Patton’s lap, who cooed in his ear and kissed over the side of his face. Remus quietly slipped out of the apartment. 

Remus: 

-Janus: Remus? What’s wrong? 

-Remus didn’t answer, slamming the door shut and headed straight for the bathroom. The water turned on a moment later. 

-Janus looked through Remus’ drawer for his meds and counted them carefully. He’d taken his dosages. He settled against the headboard and waited for Remus to finish showering. 

-About an hour later, Janus was startled awake to a wet pressure on his chest. 

-Janus: *mumbling* Ew. You couldn’t have dried off? Got dressed? 

-Remus looked up at him with wide, teary eyes. Janus raked his fingers through Remus’ hair and kissed his forehead. 

-Remus: It doesn’t matter. 

-Janus: It does. Was it that bitch again? 

-Remus: She is a bitch. 

-Janus: Exactly. What’d she say this time? 

-Remus settled back against Janus’ chest. 

-Remus: *mumbling* It doesn’t matter. She’s right. 

-Janus: I doubt she’s ever been right about anything in her life, especially my Remus. So what did she say? I need to prove her wrong. Proving people wrong is kind of my thing. 

-Remus let out a breathy laugh. 

-Remus: I got upset again. A family told her about their child’s allergy, and she didn’t tell me. I made the dish normally and the girl threw up and had to go home. I started yelling, because I mean I was freaking out, what if I’d killed her? If it was a more severe allergy, she- she couldn’t have been older than seven, it could have killed her just being on the table, and- and- 

-Janus: Hey, baby, take a second to breathe. Just breathe with me for a second, okay? 

-Janus took in a deep breath, his chest raising and lowering Remus gently as he followed the pattern. 

-Remus: She told me to stop worrying about it, that I was delusional. She asked if I remembered my meds. She said I was overreacting. 

-Janus’ hold on Remus tightened as hatred boiled in his stomach. 

-Janus: I’m going to get that bitch fired. 

-Remus: Janus, no, I probably-

-Janus: You did not overreact. She didn’t tell you, and not only could that have killed the girl, it could have ruined your life. We can’t afford a good lawyer, they would pin it on you and shove it under the rug. And you’re not fucking delusional. 

-Remus: I do... Have... Delusions...?

-Janus: That doesn’t have anything to do with this! 

-Remus laughed weakly. 

-Janus: Yeah, you have delusions that the girl on the fifth floor runs a meth lab, and that someone lives in the basement, but that- That was not a delusion. She should be put in jail!

-Remus raised his head and kissed Janus softly. He nuzzled into his neck, and Janus hugged him tight. 

-Janus: I checked your meds. You’re completely caught up. 

-Remus: I know. 

-Janus: And you’re not crazy. 

-Remus: I know. 

-Janus: And I love you. 

-Remus: I know. I love you, too. 

Janus: 

-Janus had snuck into the other apartment to see if Patton had any leftovers from his last orders. The others were asleep, but he knew they wouldn’t care. Patton left notes on the things no one could touch. 

-He found a small plate of assorted cookies with no warning, and settled at the table to eat a few. 

-On his way to put them back, someone on the floor above them screamed a string of curses, and a door slammed. Janus flinched, his shaky hands loosing hold of the plate. His heart dropped as it shattered along the tile. 

-He couldn’t breathe. 

-Clean it up and leave, go, now! 

-Hurry up! Before someone finds you! 

-Don’t worry about clean up, just go! You weren’t here! 

-Logan: Janus? 

-Janus’ head snapped up. He spoke before thinking about the words coming out. 

-Janus: I just got here. I don’t know what happened, I was about to clean it up. It wasn’t me. 

-Logan raised an eyebrow, eyes sleepy. 

-Logan: *flatly* Really? 

-That was the worst lie you’ve ever told in your life. 

-His stomach coiled in embarrassment. He forced up a smile. 

-Janus: I know what it looks like. But I assure you, it wasn’t me. 

-He reached for the broom, but Logan carefully stepped over the glass and grabbed Janus’ wrist. 

-Logan: Janus-

-Janus: *gasping* I’m sorry! It wasn’t me! 

-Logan: Janus. I’m not angry! What’s the matter? 

-Janus hesitantly met Logan’s eyes. Logan’s soft, worried eyes. 

-Logan: You know I would never hurt you. 

-Janus: Of course. 

-Logan: I’ll clean this up. Do you... Want to stay over? 

-Janus’ heart stuttered. 

-Janus: If you want me to, I suppose I could stomach it. 

-Logan smiled a little. 

-Logan: You suppose? 

-Janus: I suppose. 

-Logan: I’ll meet you in there. 

-Janus’ heartrate had slowly gone back to normal as he laid in Logan’s bed. A few minutes later, Logan slipped in behind him, hesitantly resting a hand on Janus’ hip. 

-Janus rolled over and pulled Logan into his arms. Logan sighed in content, nuzzling into his chest. 

-Janus: I didn’t break the plate. 

-Logan: It doesn’t matter who broke the plate. 

[fuckingthefictional]

Being Ada’s best friend and falling for Tommy would include.

Becoming friends with her after the boys go off to fight

Some much older lad was trying to flirt with her and Ada looked uncomfortable. So...

“Oi you stupid cunt! Can you fuck off before a bullet gets put into your head by yours truly?”

The man scarpered off after being confronted and publically humiliated

Ada recognises you from the first aid church hall thing

“Thanks for saving me back there”

“no problem us small heath girls have to stick together”

“You’re Y/N right?”

“The one and only, And you’re Ada Shelby”

The old bloke returned with some of his friends I guess not liking the idea of being humiliated by a girl

You just took the pistol from your thigh holster and aimed it at them

“Are you bloody deaf? I told you to leave, so off you fuck!”

They didn’t move so you shot the cap off of one of their heads

“I’m giving you 3 seconds you fucking bastards and not a second more.”

They fled of course

“Christ almighty i need a whiskey.”

“I know just the place.”

After that you became fast friends and became super close.

You both go to the Garrison more than you care to admit.

Ada being surprised at how well you can hold your liquor

The only time you were both pissed out of your minds was on your 18th birthday and you just ended up walking around the streets giggling and singing at the top of your lungs.

You both couldn’t look at a bottle of vodka without gagging slightly

You’re the first person who Ada properly opens up to

She talks to you about her family and boy issues she has because she feels like nobody takes her problems seriously or would be willing to listen to her

“I get so worried about my brothers. I feel like there’s a part of me missing without them here. I’m worried that they might be killed over in France.”

“They won’t.”

“Howd you know”

“Because anyone who shares blood with you, Ada Shelby, would: a) never willingly leave someone they love alone and: b) would never go down without a bloody good fight.”

You always knew what to say to make her feel better again.

You both felt like you were each other’s sisters that they never had growing up.

Like you have sleepovers all the time

“If you expect the unexpected then doesn’t that technically mean that the unexpected is expected?”

“Y/N it’s 4am go to sleep!”

One time you’d woken up a bit earlier than Ada had and you were looking at her thinking

“Damn I’m so lucky to have her as my best friend!¡”

Then she rolled over in her sleep and smacked you in the face

The first time you met Polly you nearly shit yourself

Ada has gone to the bathroom, leaving you alone at the kitchen table

“And just who might you be?”

Polly was stood at the entry way, stern, cold look on her faceface, hand by her hip ready to grab a weapon if necessary.

“I’m- um, I’m”

“Bloody hell aunt pol put the gun down, if you must know this is Y/N she saved my arse from getting raped by an old bloke.”

“Let her speak for herself Ada”

“I’m Y/N, I scared an old guy off after he tried to feel her up in a back alley.”

“ScArEd hiM ofF, you shot the cap off of his head and they bolted.”

“Why did you do that, did you think if you scared a man off then the Shelby’s owed you a favour?”

“Nope my life is just a mess and I instinctively take care of other because I don’t know how to take care of myself.”

Polly was a lot more happy to have you around after she found out about what you risked to help her niece.

It started becoming a regular occurance to have you over for dinner or a cup of tea everyday.

You just sort of walked into the Shelby house now.

“Hey- Jesus, stop screaming for fucks sake. We’ve ran out of whiskey!”

You’re an honourary Shelby girl™️

Like you would willingly help out around the house.

Whether that’s cooking breakfast, tidying Finns room, or doing the laundry.

Always being there for Ada and being her biggest support

“Y/N I’ve done something bad. Really bad.”

“Put the corpse in ice, I’ll be there as soon as I can.”

“WhaT nO?! WhY wOulD I HavE a CoRpsE?”

Obviously being close to Ada meant you got close to Finn and he became a younger brother figure.

He comes to you for advice when he’s too embarrassed to go to his aunt and sister.

This family dynamic yoooooo

You began to help the Shelby ladies to run the betting shop.

You did all the numbers and you could read and write.

You also started to teach Finn how to read.

“What does that say Finn?”

“hoo-agh”

“nO”

If you get that reference then ily

You’d get dating advice from Polly too.

“Remember as ladies it’s all about being A-B-C. Always-Be-Classy”

“And a little bit slutty!”

“Ada’s right be a little bit slutty too.”

You’d help Polly look after John’s children on Sundays when she went to church

They seriously love you. They call you Aunt Y/N/N and they look forward to seeing you every weekend.

When the boys come home from France they found the family dynamic had shifted

They obviously weren’t the same after the shit they went through.

But Ada, Polly and Finn we’re happier than they’d ever seen them be

They were having a family meeting around the kitchen table

And you walked into the house as you normally did. carrying groceries

And as you walked into the kitchen

“Who the fuck are you?”

The shelby lads are aiming their guns right at you, ready to blow your head off.

You just looked at Ada, rolling your eyes, “What is it with your family and trying to shoot me on site?”

“They like to shoot first and ask questions later.”

“Aye I can bloody see.”

You just walked around to the kitchen counter and plopped the bags of shopping down.

Polly casually gave you a glass of whiskey which you downed.

“I’m sorry but who the fuck is this random girl standing in the middle of our kitchen drinking our whiskey?”

“Y/N Y/L/N, pleasure to meet you- I assume your Arthur judging by the attitude you’re giving me.”

Polly and Ada full on snorted

“And you must be John, you look just like Katie. The kids have told be a lot about you.”

“All good things I should hope.”

“Shit there were meant to be good things?”

Polly and Ada crying with laughter

“Boys this Y/N, my best friend, the person who did all the numbers for the shop while you were away, John’s kids’ babysitter, Finn’s teacher and honourary Shelby girl.”

Tommy is just in awe even if he hides it

“Welcome to the family Miss Y/L/N”

“You can call me Y/N”

Sexual tension

“GEt a RoOm!”

“Shut it Arthur”

After a few weeks the boys got used to seeing you around the house more.

Whether it was you sat at the table with Finn giving him advice on his spelling.

Or cooking dinner for John’s little ones on a Sunday (which meant you usually had at least one child on your hip)

Or even just lounging on the sofa in a heap with Ada while you gossiped.

Your qualification in nursing often came handy when one of the Shelby men would turn up battered

“That fucking hurt”

“Aye- you should have thought about this before you got into a fistfight.”

Out of all the Shelby’s it was of course Tommy that took the longest to start a full conversation with you

When it happened it wasn’t under the best circumstances

You went to the pictures on a date with a guy you had fancied for ages and the guy in question was snogging someone else- leaving you in the rain for an hour

You banged on the Shelby’s door looking like an absolute mess.

And Tommy opened the door

He didn’t know what he was supposed to do

Ada was not there *cough* at Freddie’s *cough*

And the house was empty apart from Finn, John’s kids and Polly (who was putting the children to bed)

So you just pushed past Tommy who was stood in the doorway dumbfounded

At this point you were shivering from the cold rain and the tears had stopped.

“Now what’s got you knocking on our door this late ‘ey Y/N.”

“Date went wrong, fucker stood me up.”

You were downing whiskey.

Tommy as much as he didn’t want to admit it hated seeing you upset and he knew you deserved better

It took a while for you to notice that Tommy had draped a blanket around your shoulders and had lit the fire to try and get you warmed up

“Forget the fucker. He don’t deserve a gal like you.”

“Thanks Tommy.”

In the morning Polly came down the stairs to find you and Tommy curled up on the sofa together.

She lowkey rooted for yous to get together

Honestly you found yourself constantly covering for Ada saying she was staying at your house when actually she was with Freddie

Because ur a great friend

“has anyone seen our Ada today?”

“Aye she slept at mine last night and we were up most of the night so I let her sleep in.” Definitely not at Freddie’s

“Up all night, that sounds kin-OW”

“If you must know Johnny boy- we were chatting shit about people- mainly you.”

“Uncalled for.”

“Why there’s so much to talk about?”

You were always involved in covering for Ada

Because your cared about her happiness- which was heavily influenced by her love life.

But actually Ada and Polly paid close attention to your love life too with Tommy

When you Polly and Ada were sat in the kitchen having a catchup- they raised the question.

“When are you going to realise that my brother’s in love with you?”

*que tea being spat out* WHAT

Polly just rolled her eyes and smiled, “dear Y/N, its almost obvious that Thomas is falling for you.”

“What the fuck?”

I think you may have been in a constant state of shock after that.

“We broke Y/N.”

Like you couldn’t quite pinpoint when you started to fall for Tommy

But Tommy definitely remembered the time he knew he was in love with you

You were in the kitchen, with John’s youngest child on your hip- making dinner for all the kids.

While Finn was sat at the table trying to read out bits of a book you’d lended him.

Tommy was stood in the entryway watching as Finn struggled to pronounce some of the harder words and you’d just wander over and explain how to do it.

Like to Tommy family is the most important thing in his life.

You’re not blood related but you still gave up your spare time to look after John’s kids, teach Finn to read or even just comfort Ada after a fight with Freddie.

And Tommy admires you for that- you sacrificed a lot in order to care for his family.

So he’s just leant on the doorframe, cigarette between his lips, watching as you got everything ready for dinner.

And he just thought “she’s gonna be my wife and mother to my children someday”

[h-sleepingirl]

EEEHU + Scenes From A Hypnotic Skype Call 3/29/20

This is a writing about my weekend. This is a writing about EEEHU, and a writing about a Skype date. They are very different in tone, but inevitably interconnected. This is a writing I debated on doing -- on how to express it, and whether or not I should share it.This is a writing that starts very hard, but gets easier. 

I was a part of two classes on Saturday. I thought that would be easy; I had been kicking myself for not submitting more and was very close to deciding to put on an unconference class. 

It was not easy. 

I didn't sleep well that night, and haven't been sleeping well in general. Since shifting my work, I felt like my sleep should be pretty stable, since I work on my own schedule now. But I've been staying up late and waking up early. It's a bad pattern, and it was the second day in a 5hr sleep cycle. 

I was already drained, and I had a lot to juggle to get everything running smoothly Saturday morning. It was taxing and I was exhausted. I was snapping at stupid things, uncharacteristically. I kept saying, with forced glee, "It's just like a real con! I'm sleep deprived and stressed!"

But once we got started, the first class with MrDream went well, and I enjoyed it. The audience was incredibly generous towards both him and me. I was so pleased at how many people were getting information and how many people said that they loved my trance face, although I had to force down a little bit of juvenile bitterness that we couldn’t just monopolize the class with play and go as hard as we usually do. There were 140ish people in the class -- a lot. We did Q&A to wrap up, and then I had to run to do tech testing for the podcast.

What I couldn’t do was give MrDream a hug after the class. What I couldn’t do was walk down the hotel hallway to see him and decompress. What I couldn’t do was hang around and chat with attendees in the lobby and in the con spaces.

I felt that immensely, stinging, but I had to push it down, because I had more to do.

The podcast, despite some inevitable technical issues, went well enough. By that point, I was feeling incredibly drained, and hadn’t been able to eat more than some yogurt for the majority of the day because of feeling crappy from not sleeping. It went for 2 hours -- very long, and we had no breaks. I was on autopilot. I had a good time, but felt almost dissociated, far away from myself.

I turned off the meeting, and I was suddenly in my bed, alone, just with cc, waiting for the audio to save.

I could not go see MrDream. I could not go see my friends. I could not get a hug. I could not text someone to ask where the party was and then stay up until 4am doing hypnosis and talking bullshit.

I started crying -- not weeping, not choking out tears, but wailing, hard crying.

It was the build-up of nearly a month of not processing that life, right now, is different. I cannot see my loved ones. I cannot see my community. EEEHU was a monstrous effort by its organizers which I applaud, and am so dearly happy that so many people enjoyed it, but for me, it was a harsh reminder that it was not a con in the way that I needed, and that I will not get that in the foreseeable future.

And I can’t see MrDream.

Our 2-year dating anniversary was just over a week ago. We would have had a date, riled up from not seeing each other for a month, meeting near the vernal equinox, the change of seasons having become important to us. And then we would have seen each other at NEEHU, a week later.

Now I don’t know when I will see him again.

After keeping that fact so distant from myself, taking one day at a time, I was slapped in the face by it.

I cried. I cried so hard. I have not cried like that in months, maybe a year. It was the rawness of isolation, the feeling of tragedy, of separation.

After a few minutes of it, I stopped, because I didn’t want to dig myself into a hole I couldn’t get out of. I saw myself in a mirror, and saw the mascara running in streaks down my face -- an effect I’ve tried hard to achieve for kink and in scenes for my partners who enjoy tears.

I took out my phone and snapped a picture -- the picture I take for MrDream every day of myself when I feel particularly brainwashed. If this wasn’t such a clear sign of how brainwashed, how dependent, how addicted, how in love I am, then I don’t know what is.

He responded well.

I went to bed early, feeling like I had immensely screwed up in everything the entire day. Again I had trouble sleeping, but I was comforted by the knowledge that I would talk to MrDream on Skype, and woke up feeling still drained, but less raw.

Our call was, of course, what I needed.

It was not the kind of call where we dove headfirst into trance. We spent time decompressing and talking, the sort of relaxed conversation I’ve missed so much since not having long time together.

But when he shifted his tone, when I saw his eyes change so subtly, I felt it all, and I felt everything melt away, helpless to it.

--

This trance is so overwhelming, the lowness of his voice, the feather-light touch of it makes me feel as though this is so much more powerful than aggression, as though I am a fluid which yields so much more softly when given the most gentle pressure, and how weak I feel to that.

He talks about how I can feel myself melting into him and suddenly I feel it, I feel the way his body feels. How much he wants me. How much when even I think about him from far away, he feels it, unconsciously, the force of our connection, we can smell each other, we know the weight of each others’ bodies.

Sinking into him. Filled with him. Empty. Deep.

Going through vivid memories of us together, flashbacks to dates that I suddenly am able to access more effectively.

I weep in trance at how precious that is. I weep while aroused as he controls me, even as I feel myself totally slipping away. The tears stop quickly, leaving me with his control.

He is calling back to the podcast that I know he was there to listen to, using my words, using my ideas, the recognition that he is always paying attention.

When he snaps me up, I am a hypnotized wreck, I can’t talk. He has to snap me up again.

“My shoulders are doing the thing,” I say, smiling, finally. “My brain is doing the thing.”

Loosened, relaxed.

--

We talk about how much we miss each other. He future paces gently about what it will be like when we finally see each other. I cry a little bit again, and it’s the first time I’ve acknowledged this thing with tears in front of him.

We banter Erickson at each other -- our ultimate love language.

--

I’m amazed how quickly I fall away when his flirting shifts intent just slightly. I have been going deeper, I have been going away so much further and faster.

He turns me into a cow, all body, no brain, taking over everything. Dumb cow braincells making me all mouth, all pussy, all tits. Calling back to my fey memories, how holographic they are.

Flashback to his apartment and cumming on top of him.

“Feeling the way the light feels,” he says, and it triggers the exact memory of my thought, in his room, when he took something away from me permanently -- ‘I will never forget the way the light looks in this room at this moment.’

“And then fading away even from this much comprehension into the deepest trance.”

Just hypnosis, just mind control. The absolute feeling of that, the way it drugs me.

I am so close to nothing, he is draining me away… Again I have that sense that if he just pushes a little more, I would go, something would happen, I would be totally gone forever… Again, I flash back to another date, the solstice that I did not share, and how close I was…

“You’ve always been a dumb little girl, wanting this so badly…”

Another flashback…

And he wakes me up, and I just stare at him. He makes a whooshing sound.

“Boy, do I miss this,” he says, all low, so turned on. “Gonna shred you so bad.”

I say his name.

“I’m… somewhere,” I manage, softly.

“Me too,” he says.

I’m so completely focused on his face, so completely keyed into his expression, his eyes, just like I would be if we were together, just like I’ve been learning how to do over Skype after all this time.

“Are we just going to spend 15 minutes staring at each other now?” I whisper, locked onto him.

“If we were alone, do you think we would?” he asks.

“Yes,” I say quietly.

We fix on each other, silently, and it is just like we are.

He makes another whooshing sound, and it breaks, and we both laugh a little.

“Well,” he says, “that was two minutes.”

--

“As if a candle can tell that it’s melting.”

I become an object, melting itself, lit by him, finally no longer a person, finally even more easy to exist as a vessel for his control.

“As if you are a candle in the dark night, dripping wax into your hand, thinking about spells and magic…”

Flashback to Samhain, and the frustration.

“Who we are when we are alone, when we are together, even if there are people around, no matter where, we are always in this other world where magic is happening to us both. Knowing we are always connected, knowing we always have this thing, and no one can stop it.”

Flashback to DMDW.

Flashback to flashbacks of DMDW.

Weeping, again, in deep, deep trance, feeling the magic bubble in my body and bubble where the air meets my skin, just for this one moment, so long since I’ve felt it and never over distance like this -- the magic that I will always question, the magic that seems unquestionable when I feel it and then dreamlike, it fades...

He counts me up, and I feel a tightness, and before 5, I whisper his name and ask to stay here, at 4.

--

I have looked at the picture of myself ever so often. The enormous emotional outpouring feels more distant now, and more manageable, but I don’t ever want to forget how hard that day was for me. I don’t ever want to take things for granted ever again.

It makes me so happy that I was able to have meaningful conversations and input at EEEHU, and help people learn, and watch people having fun. I wish I could have been more present, but I know I was doing the right thing by being at home, and not “at the con."

The hypnosis community is so incredibly important to me. I dedicated my first book to it, and surely I will do the same with my next. I believe I was meant to be here. If I believed in destiny, which I do not, I would say that it has been my destiny since I was a tiny little girl, confused and barely conscious of myself.

All I have to say is this: Take care of yourselves. Stay strong, but know you will fail sometimes. Cry. Laugh. Keep in touch.

I will be here.

--

@hypnokinkwithmrdream

[abundanceofsoph]

SkyFire 2: Chapter 8

Louis in NYC: June 2016

Word count: 2.5k

SkyFire 2 MASTERLIST

The song Louis and Rori write in this chapter is Leave a Light On by Tom Walker. I decided really early on in this fic that this song was going to be one of Aurora’s and I just think it’s beautiful

>Instagram posts

The night after Niall left, Aurora woke with a start, sweat beading across her forehead and her left arm aching. She laid still in the darkness, staring up towards the ceiling as her chest heaved with every laboured breath. After a while she began to calm but after looking at the clock and seeing that it was around 4 in the morning she groaned, knowing that she wouldn’t be able to get back to sleep. She grabbed her phone off the bedside table and opened WhatsApp.

◊Aurora: Are you free?

◊Harry: I am. What are you doing up so early?

Instead of replying, she hit the call button at the top of the screen, waiting as the dial tone rang for a brief moment.

“What’s wrong love?” Harry asked.

“Sorry,” Aurora murmured. “Are you sure I’m not interrupting anything?”

“Not at all. We’re just broke for an early lunch,” Harry said. “Now tell me what’s got awake at 4am?”

Aurora sighed heavily, her heart already settling back into its normal rhythm, soothed by the familiar cadence of Harry’s voice. “Nightmare’s again.”

“Thought you said they were getting better?” he asked, concern thick in his voice and she could picture the way his brows would be lowered over his eyes.

“They were,” she sighed. “I think having Niall around all the time helped.”

“He went home yesterday?”

“Yeah,” she said.

“Saw you two went out on the town,” he chuckled. “Looked like fun.”

“It was. Felt like old times.”

“I’m glad you had fun…” his voice trailed off, struggling to keep up the light-hearted mood in the wake of his concern for her.

“I’ll be alright H. Just missing you.”

“I’ll be home before you know it,” he promised and she smiled softly, happy to hear him referring to the tower as home.

“Enough about me,” she said. “Tell me all about being a big movie star.”

He chuckled but told her all about being on set and how he was getting along with his co-stars. “Baby, I gotta get back to work,” he said after a while. “You gonna be able to sleep now?”

“Probably not,” she sighed. “Might just go downstairs and paint for a while.”

“Ok. I love you.”

“And I love you Harry.”

xXx

Aurora was in the kitchen a few days after her early morning talk with Harry. She was making a cup of tea, her back to the rest of the room where the open plan kitchen looked out across the large living room. She heard the elevator doors slide open over in the far corner of the room, paying it no mind, assuming it was one of the towers residence coming or going as they often did. She added a splash of milk to her mug and returned the carton to the fridge, almost dropping the bottle when a familiar voice yelled out. “Oi Oi!”

She spun around, her face already lighting up with a grin the moment her eyes landed on him. “Louis!” she screamed, running across the room to throw herself into his arms. “What are you doing here?” she asked as he spun her around, his bags forgotten at his feet.

“Missed you love,” he replied. “Got jealous that you spent 3 weeks straight with Irish and I had to come get my own quality time with ya.”

“Harry called, didn’t he?” she asked.

“He was just worried about you getting a bit lonely without him,” Louis explained, finally putting her back on her feet. “Don’t be mad at him.”

“I’m not mad,” Aurora argued. Louis laughed as she followed him into the living room, sitting down next to her on the sofa, folding his leg underneath him to turn and face her completely. “I’m not. I just wish everything would go back to normal. It’s not like I can be angry at him or my parents treating me like I’m broken. They’re not wrong.”

“You’re fine,” Louis scoffed. “There’s nothing wrong with needing to have people around you who care about you. H didn’t ask me to be here with you because he thinks you’ll fall apart on your own, he wanted me here because he feels guilty that he left right after the surgery.”

“I know he feels guilty not being here,” she said. “I think I worried him when I called him the night after Niall left.”

“Why’s that?” Louis asked, his hand resting on her knee.

“I have nightmares when I’m alone at night,” she explained. “Most nights that Niall was here I ended up crashing in his room because I didn’t want to be on my own.”

“Sounds like we’re gonna have plenty of sleepovers then,” Louis joked.

“I really am glad that you’re here, but I’m surprised you’re not out in California with Freddie.”

“I was,” he replied, “but my little sister needed me.”

“Thanks Lou.”

“Anytime, love.”

“He’s beautiful by the way,” Aurora added, happy to change the subject to something happier.

“Wanna see some more photos?” Louis asked, already pulling out his phone.

“Of course,” Rori laughed, leaning in to see Louis and the little baby on his screen. They spent the rest of the afternoon talking about Louis son and what the first few months of fatherhood had been like for him. Steve and Tony were both happy to find the pair in the living room when they arrived home in the early evening, having noticed the change in Rori’s mood since Niall had left the previous week.  They had JARVIS order pizza and the rest of the crew made their way up to the penthouse for dinner. Aurora really was glad to have Louis there and was grateful that Harry had called him. Over the years Louis had taken on the roll of older brother in her life and she had missed him in the months since the band had gone their separate ways.

Eventually it started to get late and slowly everyone excused themselves, heading off to bed one by one. Louis didn’t even pretend that he would be staying in one of the many guest rooms, and instead headed straight for Aurora’s room and dropped his bag at the end of the bed. Rori took her pyjamas into the bathroom to change and by the time she came back out, Louis had changed and was lying on Harry’s side of the bed. She climbed in next to him, a respectful distance between them which caused Louis to laugh.

“Get over here and give us a cuddle,” he said, opening his arms out as he turned on his side to face her. “You know Harold won’t mind.”

She let out her own chuckle, remembering how many times the two of them had fallen asleep on the tour bus or on green room couches together. Harry had of course never had a problem with it, knowing that there was nothing romantic about it and that they were just comfortable around each other. She scooted over towards the centre of the bed, letting Louis wrap his arms around her and she snuggled in against his chest. She fell asleep quickly, sleeping better than she had in weeks.

xXx

As was always the case when the two of them were together, Aurora and Louis spent more time goofing around and having fun than they did actually working. Even so they still managed to pull together a couple of songs they were happy with.

“Wanna take another pass at that house on the hill song we were messing with the other day?” Louis asked.

“Yeah sure thing,” Rori smiled back. “Take it from the second verse?”

Louis nodded and began strumming away on the guitar, Aurora joining in with her lyrics a few beats later.

Tell me what's been happening, what's been on your mind Lately, you've been searching for a darker place to hide That's alright But if you carry on spiralling, they'll be robbed from us I refuse to lose another friend to guns Just come home, don't let go

If you look into the distance, there's a house upon the hill Guidin' like a lighthouse To a place where you'll be safe to feel our grace 'Cause we've all made mistakes If you've lost your way

I will leave the light on

If you look into the distance, there's a house upon the hill Guidin' like a lighthouse It's a place where you'll be safe to feel our grace And if you've lost your way, if you've lost your way I will leave the light on And I know you're down and out now, but I need you to be brave Hidin' from the truth ain't gonna make this all okay I see your pain If you don't feel our grace and you've lost your way

I will leave the light on

“I’m thinking we should add a piano track,” Aurora suggested when she finished singing. She moved over to the upright piano and started putting together the right hand of the melody.

“Maybe go up here in the bridge,” Louis suggested. He nodded when Aurora tried it. “Yeah that’s better, kinda cuts through the melody nicely.”

“I like it,” Aurora agreed.

“Think you want to keep this one?” he asked when they finished.

“Nah, I still don’t really see myself doing the whole solo thing. You want it?”

“No thanks love,” Louis replied. “Don’t think it’s the direction I wanna head in.”

“Any idea what that is?” she asked.

“Not yet,” he sighed. “I know the others are chomping at it to get out there on their own, but I think I wanna ease it into.”

“I get that,” Rori said.

“Think you’re probably the only one that does get it. Everyone else is on my ass about writing and getting a solo album out as quick as possible.”

“Tell ‘em to fuck off, Lou.”

Louis let out a loud peel of laughter in response, rolling backwards where he was sitting on the floor. “Jesus I really did miss hanging out with you,” he finally said when he pulled himself together.

xXx

They were up on the roof one night, the hot summer air still hanging over the city even though the sun had set hours ago and they both lay on their backs staring up at the sky. Aurora’s head was cushioned on Louis chest, and she toed off her shoes, the hem of her dress covering her thighs.

“Hey Rors?” Louis asked, breaking the stillness of the evening. The sound of traffic below them floated up but given how high they were above the streets it was more of a soft background noise than it would have been down below.

“Yeah?” she replied, turning her head to the side, only able to see the underside of his chin as he continued looking up at the hint of stars above them.

“I never really asked you about the shooting because I didn’t want to upset you, but I was wondering if you ever wanted to talk about it?”

“For a while I kept trying to pretend it never happened,” she said, turning back to look at the darkness spread out above them. “I know that probably sounds ridiculous given that my hand was held together by metal plates and my shoulder was in pieces, but I couldn’t think about it at first. Then I started talking to Sam and it helped, so I started talking to Harry. I’m not ready to talk to the press or anything, but I think it helps to talk with the people around me.”

“What was it like?” Louis asked.

“Terrifying.” His hand lifted to comb through her hair while she spoke. “I was confused at first, but then once we all realised what was happening, we got under the tables and I had JARVIS send out an S.O.S.” She paused for a moment, thinking back to that day in the library. “I remember the bullets feeling hot, like a hot iron poker. I think I went into shock pretty quick and my head was spinning. I remember Pops lifting me up. His face is what I see in my nightmares most nights. The fear in his eyes was what made me realise I was dying. By the time I got to the hospital I’d lost consciousness, but they said I lost so much blood that it was close. And then I woke up and I couldn’t really believe I was alive, but my dads were there and so was Harry.”

“I hate that that happened to you,” Louis whispered. “When we found out what happened and they were trying to get Harry on a plane and cancel the show, we saw that photo of you in Steve’s arms and I kept thinking; what are we gonna do if you die?”

“I’m sorry, Lou. I forget that it wasn’t just me that went through hell that day.”

“Don’t ever apologise,” he told her. “I’m just glad you’re still here.”

“Me too.”

They both let the conversation drop, the silence wrapping back around them as they lay out in the summer night. Over the past few months, Aurora had found herself resenting how much Harry, Steve and Tony were hovering over her. She’d hated the way they watched her constantly as if afraid that the moment they turned away she would fall apart. She’d thought they saw her as weak and resented their pity. It was only now, lying in the darkness with Louis that she realised that everything they’d done was just their way of loving her and trying to protect her. So much focus was on her injuries, both physical and mental, that she often forgot how traumatising the shooting had been on all of them. How could she possibly blame them for being overprotective of her when they had so very nearly lost her. It wasn’t that she wasn’t able to look after herself, it was more that they wanted to help her in any way they could. She felt stupid for not realising any of this sooner considering how painfully obvious it now seemed.

“I can hear you thinking,” Louis muttered. “Care to share with the class?”

“Just thinking about how much you all love me,” Rori replied. “You’d really do anything to make sure I’m ok.”

“You best believe it,” he said, his hand resting on her shoulder, squeezing gently. “So, stop complaining and just let us help you.”

“I love you Lou,” she murmured, sitting up to look at him in the soft light. “Growing up I always wanted a brother and I’m so grateful I got the best one.”

“Love you too Rors.” He also sat up, pulling her into a tight hug. “I think we all blame ourselves for not being able to protect you. I know it’s not rational because how could anyone of us have stopped what happened, but seeing you hurting kills us. Please don’t feel like you need to put on a brave face around any of us, because we would walk through fire for you.”

Aurora didn’t say anything, still clinging to Louis and he let the silence once again fall around them, glad that he’d finally said everything that had been gnawing away at him for months and happy that she finally understood why her family was hovering over her.

NEXT CHAPTER

OR CONTINUE READING ON AO3

[briefololtragedy]

Something to Stay Part 4

Sakura X Itachi

Prequel to Say anything

Itachi doesn’t like being called Uchiha-san.

Rating G

Call me by my name

It was 4:55 when Sakura rushed into the locker room to change into her scrubs for the day. She was always at least 15 minutes early, but this morning it was hard to get up. Sasuke had so many questions and worry for his brother, by the time she go to answering all of then it after 11pm and she wanted to crash into bed, which she did the moment she got home. Shower be damned!

Her alarm woke her from sleep at 430, apparently she snoozed it at 4am. Next thing she knew she bolted out of the bed, almost tripped on her bedding that was now on the floor of her bedroom. When she says almost tripped, she means full on face plant to the floor. A quick shower to wash of the hospital grim just for it to be replaced by a new layer. There was no time to dry her hair, which she put into a quick messy bun. Looking in the mirror after throwing on a simple pair of skinny jeans and oversized T-shirt with a bowl of ramen on it, she noticed the bumps on her face and the slight break out she has gotten due wearing surgical mask so long yesterday and only eating cookies. Looking at her watch, it was 445, the time she normally got to work. She grabbed her Toms and ran out the door.

Sakura made it to handoff just as the clock hanged to 5. Kabuto looked smug. “You look like a walking disaster this morning. Try to put yourself together before seeing patients. We don’t want you giving them a heart attack with how dreadful you look.”

Sakura found herself having to count to 10. She could not punch Kabuto, in the face multiple times, it would be unprofessional. She was sure he was upset with her getting to assist yesterday. They had 20 patients to cover. Kabuto took 4 and split the rest between her and the other intern. Anticipation and worry came to her briefly, knowing that she would have to take care of Itachi. She hoped Sasuke and his parents got what ever peaceful rest they could obtain. She heard the nurses complaining how Fugaku demanded them be able to stay past visiting hours to see that Itachi’s needs were being meet. She planned to pre-round on him last, so she could make a quick escape to meet before the formal rounds with Dr. Senju.

She finished going through the charts of her other patients in record time and able to quickly examine them with no problems. She had a couple appendectomies, cholecystectomies, and hernia repairs. She had one hernia repair who tried to get a little to handsy when she was examining his abdomen. Sakura made a mental note to have a nurse with her the next time she had to be in the room with him.

She had 20 minutes before she had to meet with her team. She planned on taking 5-10 minutes to quickly check on Itachi and then get coffee. She already downed her first cup when she was sitting in front of her computer. Sakura also didn’t care to fix her appearance, aside from her dark circles, she looked presentable. She wasn’t here to appeal to the male sex, she wanted to learn and follow in the footsteps of Dr. Senju.

Hana quickly gave her a report on how Itachi was doing. He had woken up in the middle of the night and went back to sleep after some pain medication was given. His family had left before he fell asleep, which came to be a relief for the nurses working. He was still resting this morning.

Sakura took a deep breath, gently knocked on his door. Hearing no response, which she expected, she entered.

Many years have gone by since she last saw the oldest son of Mikoto and Fugaku. From what she remembers when she was 11, he was a tall, dark, intimidating force. He once snuck her some dango that Sasuke didn’t want following her punching him in the face. His parents weren’t happy with her. She had ran off into their gardens after the incident.

This man laying on the bed sleeping was not the picture that she carried with her all these years. He looked paler than normal, his lines under his eyes were more pronounced, IVs in both his arms, and the IV poll on his right side. His heart tracing looked steady, no arrhythmias. Oxygen saturation was perfect. His breathing pattern and heart rate on the lower side confirmed he was in a deep sleep.

“Uchiha-san, its Dr. Haruno. I will be taking a quick listen to you and then will want to look at your surgical incision.” She had placed on her hand on his left arm, gently trying to get him to stir. She then went about assessing him this morning.

It was now time to look at his incision and knew she would have to be more forceful when trying to get him awake. He started to stir.

“Uchiha-san, its Dr. Haruno. I am just going to check your abdomen quickly to make sure everything is ok. How is your pain?” Those words brought Itachi out of his dream world and as he opened his eyes he was met with the most color he has ever seen, bright pink and emerald. He was once again reminded of a cherry blossom field.

As his eyes started to focus more he was met with Sakura. Gone was the scrawny little thing, and now before him stood a grown women. She still had delicate features, gone was the baby fat of her face. Her hair was on the top of her head in a bun. No makeup on her face, which was a breath of fresh air compared to the other women he has come across over the years.

“I will need to bring your covers down to get access to your bandages, is that ok?” Her eyes were warm and welcoming. She had a comforting hand on his shoulder.

He didn’t answer her right away, but went to slowly push his blankets down. The slight crunch he did caused pain to shoot through his abdomen.

“Uchiha-san you should let me do that for you. It wasn’t even 24 hours ago that you have an intense surgery. I will let nurse Hana now that you will need one of your as needed pain medications.” Her voice was smooth like honey.

He didn’t even notice as she removed the bandages on his abdomen and inspected the site. She worked quickly and professionally. After she was done looking she redid his bandages with fresh gaze and tape.

“Do you need anything else Uchiha-san?” He didn’t know why she was acting so formal with him, but he could understand it. They hadn’t seen each other in years, she wasn’t even a teenager the last time they met. He couldn’t remember ever holding an actual conversation with her.

“No Dr. Haruno. Have you heard from Sasuke any?” He couldn’t help but ask.

“I haven’t heard from him since last night. Hopefully he is getting some rest along with your parents, all of you have been through a lot. I almost thought you wouldn’t remember I'm friends with Sasuke.” She had a slight smile on her face. She was staring at him and it was then that he realized it was because he hadn’t said anything in reply. Itachi got caught up staring at her eyes, those dazzling emeralds.

“Sasuke talks about you and Naruto, well as much as someone like him can… Would it be possible to get something to drink? My throat feels raw.” He had to kick himself for asking her about the drink, he was an absolute idiot.

“Of course. I’ll see if one of the nursing students can bring you something. They are pretty good at checking in on patients and helping out. Dr. Senju and the team will be around later, get some rest Uchiha-san.” Sakura had brought his covers up to his chest and walked out the door. For some reason her saying Uchiha-san didn’t sit well with him.

A few minutes later he was brought multiple cups of water and students more then welling to help him. it was when his nurse came in with some pain medication that they were shooed away.

Itachi didn’t know what to do with himself now. When was the last time he was idle for so long.

________________________________________________________________________________________________

Sakura made it just in time to get a new cup of coffee before starting rounds with Dr. Senju. It was hard keeping an indifferent face when talking with Itachi. She couldn’t help as she acknowledged how attractive he was, but she wasn’t an airhead preteen anymore. She was able to separate work and her personal life. While Itachi muddied the water some, she would be professional with him and his family when they came into the hospital.

A proud smirk made its way onto her lips as she brought up her coffee cup to her mouth. She had beat Kabuto and the other intern to the meeting spot. She only had to make it though 3 more days until she had a day off. Sunday would be a glorious day!

Jin was the second to arrive, he was one in her first year class. He stood a head and half taller then her, he had an average build, his coloring was brown hair and brown eyes. Unlike her, he had a tan to his skin. He was doing a trauma rotation, but belonged to the orthopedic surgery program.

“ Wonder where Yakushi is? I heard you got to scrub into that surgery yesterday with Dr. Senju, man is she scary! “ She couldn’t help but be irritated by his voice, it wasn’t his fault that she was having the start of a migraine.

“He should be here soon, maybe he heard about a new case for the day.” It was unlike Kabuto to not have arrived by now. At times Wednesday could be a slow day compared to the other days of the week. Starting Friday - Monday you would get the reckless injuries that were brought about by too much drinking and wanting to have a good time. A couple of weeks ago it was a party boat that capsized when too many people were on it.

“Where is Yakushi? I’m ready to round, it was a long ass day yesterday. “ Dr. Senju came up, tea in hand. She was not Kabuto’s biggest fan to start and him not being here was not a way to get off her bad side.

“Dr. Senju, sorry to interrupt but Dr. Yakushi was pulled into a surgery with Dr. Orochimaru.” It looked like the nurses had sacrificed one of the nursing student’s to deliver the message. Sakura didn’t know the name of the poor girl, but could see her shaking.

A grumble came form Dr. Senju, her lips pressed together. “ Let get started. I take it you two are carrying the majority of the patients anyway. We will round on them and then you two can finish charting. You two will be up for first assist on the next surgery. Decide among the two of you who will take it when it comes.” She then started walking down the halls.

Rounds were lightening fast. It was decided that Jin would take the first surgery of the day since Sakura got the one yesterday. Jin vanished to do his work, while Sakura took to sitting at one of the empty computers at the nursing station. The gossip from the nurses would put Ino to shame. ‘notes and then lunch.’

_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

“Shisui leave Sasuke alone. “ How many times did Itachi have to stop those two. Sasuke had gotten back at Shisui for giving his cell number to some of the nurses. Sasuke’s phone wouldn’t stop going off. In retribution apparently Shisui’s Instagram was hacked and was announced that he was undergoing treatment for multiple STDs, his prior conquests were not to happy about the announcement.

Shisui had come with food from Mikoto. Sadly he was unable to eat it due to being on clear liquids. The aroma itself was making Itachi’s mouth water. Itachi refused to let either Sasuke or Shisui eat his food and made them put it in the mini fridge in his room.

“I heard you have little Sakura-chan overseeing you. Aren’t you a lucky dog. Sasuke I don’t know how the two of you never got together even for a night.” Sasuke looked ready to attack. Itachi wasn’t aware that his cousin knew Sakura. Shisui initially worked for the family law firm, but then branched off with itachi to do pro-bono work. He typically got in later then Itachi and stayed to close up the office, where Itachi opened it. Shisui had guilt from not being to the office sooner he may have been able to prevent itachi getting shot.

“Uchiha-san I have come to check on you quickly. Sasuke-kun said that you may be in pain.” Sakura was at the door, her presence stopping the inevitable match between Sasuke and Shisui.

Sasuke looked annoyed and Shisui straightened up. Itachi could already tell Shisui was putting his best flirting face on. “Sakura-chan I have to ask if it hurt?” Sakura looked at Shisui annoyance spreading on her face.

“Shisui we have had this conversation before and I’m not currently in the mood to put up with your ridiculous pick up lines.” Sasuke was annoyed he knew his cousin was doing this to get on his nerves. He and Naruto made it their mission to make sure the guys wanting to date Sakura where fully screened, much to the annoyance of Sakura. She had to keep most of her relationships a secret, unless they were creeps. The creeps she held no remorse for when the two idiots chased them away. Just because they watched out for her didn't protect her from having her heart broken a few times, before she decided to focus solely on her training.

“Come on lets go find something to eat since Weasel here wont share his food.” It was then that Sasuke’s stomach started to grumble, he was in agreement to finding food and some tomato juice.

 After dumb and dumber left Sakura was able to speak to Itachi. “Uchiha-san I know you have been having increased pain and wanted to make sure you were doing ok. Is there anything that you need? “

“Why do you call be Uchiha-san? “ Itachi blamed it on his pain medications for having no filter.

“What am I supposed to call you? I think Shisui has dibs on Weasel. “ she looked playful, mischievous look behind her eyes. It reminded itachi of the little girl he remembered from another time it seemed.

“I would like it for you to call me by my name Dr. Haruno. I feel like my father should be in the room when you say Uchiha-san. “ Sakura couldn’t imagine anyone calling Fugaku by anything other than Uchiha-sama. His face would probably get as red of the tomatoes that Sasuke adores so much in anger.

“Itachi-san considering you are older than me doesn’t that make you an old man?” Before Itachi could reply Sakura’s stomach decided to interrupt their conversation.

‘I forgot to eat lunch again! Two appendectomies came in that Jin and her split, which was around lunch time.’ Sakura couldn’t help but be embarrassed.

“Excuse me Itachi-san, but I will leave you to get some more rest.” Itachi didn’t want her to leave. She was a breath of spring in the shade of beige room.

“My mother made me a bento and my doctor has decided to only let me have liquids. I don’t think she would mind me giving it to you.”

Sakura was speechless. Mikoto’s food was a precious commodity, one that Sasuke refused to let anyone have. “I can get some food in the cafeteria, that was made for you and I’m sure you would like to have it once you are cleared for a regular diet.”

“I’m sure my mother would make me a new one when the time comes. This one hasn’t been in the fridge long and will still be fresh. I insist that you take it. Although I do ask that you enjoy it here as a way to repay me. I could use company that doesn’t want to punch the other person in the face.”

“Well that’s an offer I can’t refuse.” This meal would be the first of many, neither of them knowing that at the time.

[fanficsrusz]

Lure The Baba Yaga Part One - John Wick mini series

A/n: this was requested by anon. It's going to be two parts and its an angsty fic because who doesn't love to have their heart wrenched out 😂😂 anyway, i hope this is what you wanted when you requested it 😅

Summary: John and y/n were friends untill John went missing. After many years, y/n soon finds him but his job will put her in danger.

Masterlist

___________

John Wick was a man of mystery. He was there in a flash and gone in a sound. 

Most people feared him, avoided his path at all costs, scared of what might happen if they came face to face with the Baba Yaga.

Many people knew him for his skill set, how deadly he was with his bare hands alone. 

However, y/n knew him as the boy who always saved her a seat on the school bus, always shared his cookies with her in the canteen, always helped her with her homework. 

Y/n had known John since she was about 13, having gone to school with him. They were best friends and did everything together. 

As the pair grew up, it was inevitable that one was going to fall for the other and y/n had drawn the short straw in that challenge.

 She had remembered the day she fell for him exactly, the way he sat on his bed studying, his hair messy and his soul pure, it was such a simple moment but he meant so much to her. 

She felt her heart skip a beat and that's all she needed for her to fall for him. 

She had tried to shake away the feelings she had found for the boy, scared that she might ruin the relationship they had built over the years, but the feelings never left, no matter how hard she tried. 

How would they when he was her Knight in shining armour who defended her from the bullies and looked out for her every day of her life. 

On his 18th birthday, y/n had finally mustered up enough courage to tell him how she felt. She had made a photo album for him, made of various pictures of them together along with a letter detailing her feelings for him.

When she made it to his house, she was heartbroken to find that he was not there. Nothing was there. He had gone, left her without saying a single world. 

Y/n waited for him to return. She searched for him, even called the police asking if they knew anything, but no one could give her the answers she wanted. Her heart yearned to have him back, if not as a lover but as a friend, her only friend. 

 4 years later and y/n had finally found him. 

 She saw him sitting on a bench in the park, her heart skipped a beat and she felt tears burn her eyes. 

She wanted to run up to him and slap him for leaving her without a word and then kiss him because she missed him so badly.

"John" her voice was barely audible but he had managed to hear her. 

She saw how he visible stiffened as he recognised her voice and he slowly turned. 

He looked the same but somehow different. His once lovable eyes were now replaced with anger and rage for the world, like he knew the secrets which hid behind the facade of rainbows and sunlight. 

He no longer dressed in the baggy shirt and shorts like he did in school, but in a 3 piece suit which screamed power. 

This wasn't y/n's john.

"y/n?" his voice was cold and his eyes widened as his past came back to haunt him. He took in her appearance and how little she had changed since he had left her. 

In all honesty, he didn't want to leave her all those years ago but his life was meant for something else. 

John swallowed, trying to get rid of the lump that formed in his throat as he scrambled to stand in front of y/n, not being able to compose himself like THEY had taught him to. How could he pretend to be something else to y/n?

"John is this really you?" her hand shook as she reached out to touch his face, scared that he might disappear when she finally touched him. 

John leaned into her touch, he had missed the feeling of her soft warm hands against his cold skin. 

"yes. It's me, it's your giant" y/n laughed at the nickname she had given his all those years ago. As he spoke, she saw how the act of this tough guy broke and she could begin to see the real John peek through. 

"where did you go?" she asked quietly and john pulled her to sit next to him on the bench. 

"why did you leave me, John?." y/n's voice broke slightly as the tears threaten to fall as the anxiety, self-loaf and despair came rushing back. For so long she had blamed herself for john leaving, thinking she had done something wrong. 

John held her hand in his, the size difference noticeable as he squeezed it reassuringly. 

"y/n, you know who my father is. You know why i had to leave". John sounded defeated as he spoke and y/n sighed. 

Of course she knew why he went, she just didn't want it to be true, she wanted him to have better. 

Y/n was the only person john trusted to tell about the underground world of mafia bosses and assassins; the world that John was now apart of. 

"so…do you-um- kill people?" y/n tried to joke but john could see that she was scared, scared of him. 

The one person who he never wanted to hurt was afraid of him. He could tell by the way her grip tightened in his hand, the way she shifted awkwardly as she sat and more obviously, the way  she couldn't bare to look him in the eyes. 

"yes. I kill people, but they're the bad guys, people who deserve it" 

He couldn't lie to her, even if it meant hurting her. Maybe he wanted to hurt her, that way she would be scared away and she would be safe. 

He watched as y/n thought for a few seconds before a smile was etched on her face. 

"john, i know i should be scared of you, but I know you, the real you. I know you will never hurt me so i'm not scared-" 

That was a lie

"-I'm just glad you're back. I missed you giant" 

That was the truth. 

The next month was spent with john coming and going at all different hours of the day. Sometimes he would come with food and sometimes he would come with deep wounds that y/n would clean for him. 

It was 3am, john was at y/n's doorstep blooded and close to death. 

He had come to her with worse injuries before but it still scared her to see him so badly hurt. 

Between her shaky hands and her practically passing out from the stress, it was more like john was taking care of her, but he had managed to talk her through the simple process of stitching him up. 

"why did you come to me to stitch you up? You should have gone to someone professional" y/n ran her hand over her face, a small amount of john's blood now on her cheek. 

John shrugged and struggled to stand. 

"you're the only one I trust enough at the moment". Y/n froze as she felt her heart swell at the words he spoke so easily. 

John moved to sit next to her on the sofa, a small hiss escaping his lips as he pulled at the stitches. 

Y/n leaned her head on his shoulder once he got comfortable and she reached out for his hand, tangling them together. She closed her eyes as she relaxed next to him, pretending that they were both careless teenagers again. 

That's when y/n felt it underneath her grasp, the cold metal of a ring on his finger. Opening her eyes she took in the sight of a gold wedding ring on his finger and her heart sank. 

"john?" she called out as she lifted their still enlaced hands to take a better look at it. 

John looked at her confused and she just stared at the ring, unable to form words and hoping he would just understand. 

John looked at y/n and how her eyes were glazed over, her attention on his finger. Flicking his eyes to their hands, he felt guilt wash over him. 

"Oh don't be mad but im married. It will be 4 months soon". 

Y/n wasn't mad, just saddened. Saddened because he didn't think to tell her and saddened that she never got the chance to tell him how she truly felt. 

She forced a smile onto her face as she coaxed herself into being happy for John, it's the least he deserved. 

"I'm not mad, I'm so happy. Tell me all about her. How did you meet?" 

Y/n noticed how his previous stiff demeanor was gone and replaced with a relaxed and happy one as he spoke about his wife. 

 y/n zoned out as he spoke, unable to focus on his words as her heart broke into millions of pieces. 

She only nodded as he spoke,  picking up a few things about her. Her name, Helen and that he loved her.

She had lost her second chance at telling him how she felt, but she was not going to lose john for a second time so she decided to bite the bullet and smile. 

She repeated the same sentence in her mind, 'do it for him' 

"she sounds lovely, john. I'm so happy for you" she hugged john a little to hard as she congratulated him but he didn't have to be a trained assassin to tell when y/n was lying, she was his best friend for many years and he still cared about her. 

Maybe he cared a little too much about her. 

After an hour of talking, john had left her to go back home and y/n finally let herself completely relax.

Y/n watched as john drove away in the pouring rain, the downfall hiding her own tears. She lifted her hand as she waved goodbye to john and possibly any chance of her calling him hers. 

Y/n let out a sigh of relief as she saw him turn the corner and she was once again alone. 

Y/n moved to walk away, wanting nothing more than to go back to bed so she could forget about the pain in her chest, but something caught her attention. Someone was moving outside. 

The rain and lack of light made it hard to make out a clear image. She squinted to try and get a better look, confused as to who would be standing outside in the rain at 4am. 

The longer she stared, the more detail she could make out. It was a man, very tall and wielding a gun in hand, the metal of it glinting in the pale moonlight. 

Anyone would be scared if they saw a man outside with a gun but Knowing of the world that John was involved in made things worse, y/n was petrified. 

Y/n was frozen in place, not knowing what to do. She reached into her pocket and pulled out her phone, quickly dialling johns number. He would know what to do. 

A pounding at the door stopped her from pressing the call button and she jumped. Looking back out the window she could no longer see the figure and her stress level was through the roof. 

A loud voice soon broke the silence. 

"Let me in" she recognised the voice that echoed through the wooden door and y/n let out a breath of relief. It was John's voice. 

Jogging over to the door, she flung it open ready to tell him about the strange man across the street. 

"John. Thank God, there was a-" 

Her breath caught in her throat as she didn't recognise who was at the door. It wasn't john. 

A tall burly man with blonde hair and dressed in a suit stood before her, a smirk on his face and a recorder in hand. 

Y/n couldn't comprehend what was going on, she had heard johns voice. So where was he? 

The man rewinded the recorder before pressing the play button. The familiar voice of john saying "let me in" came from the device. 

"I would have thought John told you to always check who was at the door before opening it. It's a shame really, i was hoping i could find Helen and get to john that way. But you will do just fine, y/n. You see, the baba yaga is weak when it comes to those he cares about, meaning we can kill him" 

Y/n stared at him as she gulped, trying to decide what she should do. 

Without a moment hesitation she tried to push the door shut, but the man was quicker as he pushed him way in. 

Y/n's legs burned as she pushed herself to run through the house and away from the intruder. 

Y/n felt a pressure in her leg, stopping her in her tracks as pain shot through her body. The echo of a gunshot drowned out by her beating heart loud in her ears. 

She fell to the ground in agony, a scream escaping from her mouth as blood began to pool around her. She looked down at her thigh which was now covered in blood, her fast pulse speeding up the process of her bleeding out. Her hands shook as she grazed over the wound. 

The shouts of a man speaking in a foreign language pulled her out of her daze and her adrenaline pushed her to continue to move, to escape. 

She tried to stand, the pain unbearable but the risk of being caught was far worse than the pain she was experiencing. 

Limping, she moved to the back door, hoping to escape and get someone's help. 

She was inches from it, escape was within her grasp but luck was not in her favour. 

Her hair was yanked back with force and she was pulled to the ground. 

She let out a scream as her leg twisted awkwardly from the counter force. 

The man stood above her and looked down pitifully. 

"you shouldn't have run. You made me shoot you and the boss is not going to be happy about receiving damaged goods" 

"please" she sobbed out "what do you want from me? I can give you money if you want. Please just let me go" the man laughed deeply at her futile efforts of bargaining. 

"we want John and you will bring him right to us". 

Y/n let out a whimper as her hopes of waking up from the nightmare slipped away. 

"so i'm sorry i have to do this but we need to move this along. This may hurt" The man offered her a genuine apologetic smile before delivering one swift punch to y/n's face, rendering her unconscious and at the mercy of this man.

Tbc

____

Taglist (just ask to be tagged)

@gwenebear @celestiaelisia @blondieee-me @harrisongslimited

[namjoonchronicles]

outnumbered | th

↳  pairing taehyung x you ↳  genre fluff, slice of life, domestic, husband-Taehyung amen ↳  words 6k ↳  summary raising five kids with a full-time job is a challenge. thankfully, Taehyung agreed to be a full-time house husband. but the matriarch family aren’t usually appreciated. Especially, when the women earns for the house.  ↳ note Taehyung have 5 kids, they’re : Renee (7), Noah & Niel (5), Tati (3) and the youngest, Sam (3 months old) ↳ song lieuwe roonder ‘let me love you’

Taehyung begins his duties at 4am everyday. Around this hour, the youngest will be fed with her formula milk, freshly warmed and perfect for the morning. Taehyung’s large feet slip into mismatched indoor slippers, sitting at the side of the bed and he’d turn off the night lamp from his side. He routinely take your phone and plug it to the charger while you stay asleep.

For Taehyung, the day begins early. And he usually started with pouring the grinded coffee beans into the coffee machine, and lets them boil in time while he disappears to the laundry room with your blouse for ironing. He stifled a yawn, gliding the iron to smoothen creases on the semi-crumple light pink long sleeves.  What is that colored blob? He leans in to see closer. But without his glasses, he wasn’t able to make sense of what it was, so he sniffed it.

Milk? Coffee? Milk coffee?

Taehyung’s eyes darted to the top left of the ceiling after setting away the iron from the board, to prevent it from burning like the last time. How many time do I have to tell her not to stain her clothes? This is twice this month.

He didn’t waste time to pick another maroon flowy blouse with a black pencil skirt for you to wear to work today. This one needs a steam iron because its made of satin silk. He was saving this particular blouse for friday night, but he had no choice.

The coffee machine readily brews and began to expel its liquid into the coffee jar right underneath it. Taehyung dashes pass it with your ironed cloth on a hanger. It hooks securely around the edge of the wardrobe—out of reach of children.

He looks at the time. 5:15AM. Next, laundry. He collects heaps of clothes set next to each door and into the large basket he held close to his waist.

The baby begins to cry. You frowned in your sleep, but as you try to reach your phone, it wasn’t there. You lay face down, grabbing nothing on the side table. Not a minute later, you heard Taehyung shushing her quiet.

“Daddy’s got you… shush, mummy’s sleeping…” Taehyung rocks Sam side to side, while attacking with smooches around her face. Barely 10 months old, Sam is already gurgling audible words. Taehyung predicts that she’ll start walking before she turns two. Sam’s eyes is wide open and Taehyung knows she won’t be able to be put to bed again.

Sam is going to cling on him like a baby koala. Not that he minds. Taehyung is now fixing the water bath warm enough for a shower. As it fills up, Taehyung lunges down the hall in fast steps to knock on the eldest door. “Renee? Renee��� wake up, school time…” he turns the knob to find Renee stirring in her single bed and kissed the top of her head. The fourth child fell asleep on the floor next to Renee’s books.

“How did Tati end up on the floor, Renee?” Taehyung asked in hushes. He had to put Sam down to carry Tati back up into her bed as Renee waddles with her blue towel draped over one shoulder. Her eyes drooping sleepily. Taehyung collected Sam again and walked out.

He poked his head into the fridge after placing Sam on the baby chair to take out three overnight oatmeals and milk. Taehyung passed the baby chair to jog down the other end of the hall to wake the twins, Noah and Niel. Renee is out of the bathroom now, and she is dressing herself up. She’s 7 and just started school.

“Dad! Where’s my nametag?” She yelled. “Check your pocket!” Taehyung retorted, before knocking twice on the boys’ door. Before he turns the knob, he inhaled deeply as if he’s about to unleash the beast. In this case, two beasts.

“Boys, good morning…” he sang. “Daddy I can’t find my nametag…” Renee whined at the door in her school uniform. “Okay, I’ll go find it, but can you have breakfast while you wait?” Taehyung said in a hurry. Noah had stood up in the middle of his bed and Niel won’t move.

“Alright…”

Tati had began crying very loudly.

“Also, sweetheart can you go wake mummy up? She’s going to be late,” Taehyung kneels next to Niel, and shaking his shoulder to wake him. He’s sleeping like a log. Only 5 years old, but sleeps more than Uncle Yoongi does.

Renee disappears. But now Tati started whimpering, while hugging Taehyung’s arm. Noah is now pulling down his pants with his dingles dangling, saying he wants to pee. Taehyung sprints to grab Noah from the bed, and into the bathroom. But he didn’t make it to the potty. Noah peed on the floor.

Tati’s crying intensifies because she fell back when Taehyung carried Noah. Niel threw her a plushie in an attempt to quiet her down.

“Daddy!” She shrieked, “Niel threw me bear-bear…” “Niel, don’t throw Tati the bear-bear… what did daddy tell you about that,” Taehyung is cleaning Noah up.

“Daddy where is the socks?” Renee asked. Noah is groaning while Niel is throwing a tantrum in his bed.

“Noah, Niel, you are going to be late. Where is Tati’s pacifier? Who took Tati’s pacifier?” Taehyung wipes Noah’s face with his own shirt before patting Niel’s bottom to hurry him.

“Noah! Niel!” You roared from across the hall. The boys straightens up and waddled to your room.

“How many times do I have to tell you that when dad had the baths ready, you have to wake up when he asked you to?” Hand on hip and the two tattle to the bathroom and showered.

Taehyung carries Tati around his waist now. He passes you a mug of coffee. Tati stopped crying immediately. “Dad! My nametag!” Renee yelled. Taehyung tipped his head back and you patted his chest twice, “I got it, watch the boys…” and then, “Coming baby. Mommy is coming!”

“No I want daddy…”

You stopped in your steps and spun your heel around, “Guess not…”

Taehyung hands Tati to you and you watched the boys brush their teeth, before he disappears into the hallway to help Renee. “Do you really need that nametag?” Taehyung whined.

“Even mom and dad don’t remember my name sometimes.”

The boys is now dressed in their pre-school uniforms and climbing on the tall stool for their breakfast. Sam had dunk her whole hand inside the bowl of oat meant for Noah. And Noah screams.

“Sam put her hand inside my food!” “Sam don’t put your hand in Niel’s food…” “I’m Noah!” “I’m not Niel!”

“And I will be late,” You buttoned up your blouse and zipped your pencil skirt.

Taehyung finally sat Tati down, wiped Sam’s oat covered hand with a wet cloth. “Can you fetch Renee? Didn’t you get half day off? The boys has parents teachers meeting we need to attend…” He glances at you repeatedly, while reminding Renee to wipe her mouth before she leaves with you.

“I really can’t. I’m swamped today… can’t you be late for the meeting to fetch Renee? Just bring Renee along…” “Renee has piano lessons today…” “Oh shoot, I forgot.”

“We need to do laundries tonight. It’s still on right?” Taehyung held the door open while Renee, Noah, Neil and you wore shoes and scattered out the door. “Yeah definitely,” you stood on tiptoes and plant a kiss on his cheek. “Please, for the love of God, be home before 6pm,” he eyed you, lips parted a little.

“Remember to get the rice cake order for grandma’s memorial ceremony!” Taehyung yelled, followed by, “Be good at school, all three of you!”

Taehyung turns to Tati and Sam. Both too young to go to school, still in their PJs.

“Guess there’s just us, girls.”

And then he heard it. The beeping. The semi silent ringing. He dashed to the messy bedroom to see the phone blinking. Your phone.

“Damn it.”

Extra diapers. Some edibles. Some toys to pass time. It didn’t take long for Taehyung to pack Tati’s backpack.

“When we get to mummy’s office, you have to promise me you don’t run around, and behave okay?” Taehyung knelt next to the bag. Tati leans her tiny body on Taehyung’s arm. Sam is gurgling on the sofa on her back.

“Why are we going to mummy’s office?” “Mummy forgot her phone. She needs it so we could call her later in the evening.”

It gets really hard. He’s not going to lie. Having five children isn’t a walk in the park. More like running through it. Raising children is not a one person job. It could feel like 15, and at the end of the month there’s always a constant worry if the expenses will be enough until the next payday. There’s two diaper packs that needed to be bought, and school items, school trips, and fees. Uniforms, extra lessons. Having a family means having a lot. Before you even decide to have this home with him, he already had trouble convincing you to have children. Everybody knows how eager Taehyung is about having a large family, and to be honest with you, sometimes you feel like marrying a complete stranger when it comes to things like this.

Sometimes, he felt like marrying a stranger. At one point, your goals and destination seems different from one another because you were still a career-oriented girl with determination of a first year worker, but at the same time you are also mom to five, and sometimes, Taehyung demanded your presence in the home you built together. Having children also means less time together. Which leaves little room for communication. You’d be home, far too tired for a conversation, and he’d be piled with domestic demands and tasks. You try to help, you do, but most of the time you are at work and there are moments that you don’t get to see your children for days.But you are determined not to leave room for doubts when it comes to Taehyung and your priorities. It was a lengthy shift from your golden university aspirations, but you can’t imagine a life without Taehyung. And now, the five children.

Fingernail tap on the marble desk coming from a pair of large hands. The concierge occupant lift her gaze to see a friendly boxy smile. She intuitively tuck her hair behind her ear helix.

“I’m not sure if you remember,” Taehyung shyly greeted her. “Yes! Yes, Mr. Kim… Mrs. Kim’s husband, it’s been awhile, I’ll let you up. Here’s your passcard,” she bowed once and Tati waved enthusiastically back at her. So cheerful.

“You’re adorable…Is this the little one?” the receptionist let out a bashful smile. “No, this one is. This one is Sam,” Taehyung turns to show the gurgling bundle of joy, strapped on his back. Taehyung lets out a proud smile as he took the passcard.

Tati reaches for her dad’s hand but wrapped her little finger only around his pinkie. Sam falls to a sleepy riddle. “Earlier, Mrs. Kim was in a meeting. I’m not sure if it has ended or not, but do help yourself around…” the receptionist smiled politely, guiding Taehyung down the elevator hallway and pressed the button going up. Then she leaves him be.

Taehyung felt rather giddy going back here after awhile. The last time he came, he made quite an impression for singing live with his honeyed deep voice that leaves the audience awed. The last time he came, he was a vocal coach with a five figure earnings, a good sports car and a collection of Van Gogh arts. Last time he came, there was no Renee, Noah, Niel, Tati or Sam. That was close to ten years ago. This is where he met his wife, you.

He’s not going to lie. He sometimes ponder on how life would be if he didn’t fall for you that night. Maybe sitting in his expensive penthouse, in a king sized bed, filled with loneliness, of a longing for someone he had never met, wondering if she was still out there. He let go of his job, so you could have yours.

Tati tugs his sleeves, looking up at him through her thick lashes. “Daddy, I need to go potty,” she murmured cutely. Tati had recently been toilet-trained so she was told to tell someone if she needs to go to the toilet. Taehyung gulped down the whole plastic cup of drinking water at once, in a hurry, because he knows that if he dragged time, she’d might pee there and then. There’s only one problem.

The male restroom doesn’t have toilet bowl meant for kids like the females. Taehyung dashed through the automated door and carried Tati into the first cubicle. Sam is snoozing on her father’s back, soundly. Her finger stretches as she accommodates the sudden movement, but resumes sleeping. Taehyung heard the next door cubicle was being flushed, and then another.

“Did you hear about our head technician and our company lawyer?” this man had a higher voice tone, with a slight southern twang at the end of his words, suggesting a heavy Gwangju accent.

Taehyung then heard your name. “With Min Yoongi? The lawyer?” Another man replied, the automated wash basin washing water down their palms when it detects hands. This one had a clearer set of pronunciation. Fit for a news anchor, with the way he spoke.

“Nah, with our leading advocate, solicitor, and P.A.; Park Jimin,” the one with Gwangju accent replied, “Turns out that the company’s recent soliciting isn’t the only soliciting he does.” “What do you mean?” “Rumors had it that they’re a thing. Last month, when the company vault had an audit check, Jimin promptly said the auditing for May was in his team, when it wasn’t. Now why would he do that if he doesn’t have a thing for her?” Slight pause, “...Someone caught them dating in the car last Tuesday. All laughing and giggling… it was very scandalous.” “Isn’t she married?” “I know right… I don’t think her husband knows.” “Why would she do such a thing…”

That’s right. Why would you do such a thing.

“Daddy--” Tati spoke but Taehyung covered her mouth immediately, waiting for the two men to leave. After putting Tati into her briefs, Taehyung walked back out with her. His mind flashes into the conversations he had caught you in, oftenly, middle of the night when everyone was asleep.

“I just want to say thank you for today, it was really nice to have someone to lean on when things go south,” he heard you sigh into the phone by the window, away from bed. You must have thought he was asleep.

“I really enjoyed it, I do… too much,in fact,” you swept your untied hair back, and looked up to the window pane, drawing random shapes on the fogged window.

All these while, he thought it was a girl. All these while he thought it was your best friend from college. He never once questioned your loyalty, ever.

And when he left that restroom, he saw his doubts in action.

You were walking down the crisp hallway, fiddling with a file in your chest, smiling far too widely even for a friend, to that man with glasses. It was very unsettling. The conversation you had with him.

“I wouldn’t know what to do, if it weren’t for you…” you let out a breathy giggle. “You don’t have to worry about that. I got you, I always do. That’s my job,” this man passed.

“You should break me in half the next time too. I’d appreciate that.” “Don’t mind if I do.”

Taehyung waited until you both disappeared into the staff’s pantry. Then he took Tati out from hiding and she innocently asked, “Why didn’t we talk to mom?”

“We came to surprise her, didn’t we?” Taehyung blurted with a broken smile, and rubbed her hair, “Got to fix your ponytail so you’ll look neat for mommy. How does daddy look? Do I look handsome?”

She nodded enthusiastically. She doesn’t know anything. She doesn’t understand anything.

And in that brief moment, Taehyung resented you. Not because you gave him room for doubts, but because you allowed someone else to come in between. Your actions are selfish. Spiteful.

“Go knock on mommy’s glass door…” Taehyung urged Tati and she did with a huge toothy grin.

“Come in…” your voice was clipped and full of authority. The one Taehyung remembers whenever he calls you at work, or in bed, several years ago before Sam came.

Taehyung helped Tati pushed the door open and you gasped pleasantly so loud, pushing your chair back and knelt before she even get into your open arms, greeting you with a huge hug. “My babies!” you closed your arm around her and carried her up to one side of your waist, before stretching towards Taehyung to have him leaning over for a smooch but he settled for a brush on your cheeks instead. You ruffled Sam’s hair too. Precious.

“I didn’t expect this!” You giggled, and Taehyung pulled your phone out of his back pocket and you replied a disgruntled, ”Oh.”

“Can we talk for a bit?” Taehyung asked in a deep tone. Tati cupped her hand to whisper in your ear. She asked if she can lay down on the couch there. You simply nodded to Taehyung but only after you excitedly answer Tati’s question. “Of course, baby girl, you can sit, and you can lie down, just promise not to stand on it because you could fall and hurt yourself, okay?” You set her feet on the floor and brushed your lips on her forehead so it’s now smushed with red lipstick.

Red lips always lie.

“Is it about school? Renee’s? The boys?”

Taehyung shook his head.

“Do I need to call someone to watch over the kids?”

“You know what. I came to give you the phone and I did. So I think I should head back soon,” Taehyung looks at the wall clock, “Noah and Niel are coming home soon and I hadn’t cooked anything.”

Then he felt your hand around his forearms, giving an assuring squeeze. “But you just got here, can’t you stay for a little while?”

Do you even want me here? Are you just playing the good wife because your cover was almost blown? Where has he touched you? Where have you let his hands go? Because that breathy laughter was reserved for me. And only me.

“Just a little while,” Taehyung felt his heart softened while his head hardens. A part of him felt disappointed that he let you win. Another part of him wanted to be the man that is still foolishly in love with you and another, wanted to walk away because the reap wasn’t as much as he sow. If only things were that simple. If it wasn’t for these kids, he would have gone rampage the moment he found out. How could he catch on the signs? He was too busy running the household. Busy wiping pees, cleaning poops, ironing clothes, getting food ready--he could not have noticed the telling signs of you cheating.

You spent more time here at work than you ever did at home. How could he be so stupid?

He was in love…. Love makes people stupid.

So he sat there, Sam sleeping on her side and her blankets draped over her to accommodate the indoor aircon temperature while Tati had slept on Taehyung’s lap, having her dad fluffing her hair to make her sleepy--he sat there watching you take calls, the length of the pen in between your lips, eyes focused, hands flipping over the pages of endless accounts. Your job is to keep the supplies going for months. Every product delivery and the materials to create them were under your supervisions, a stressful job that was slightly different than the ones you had when you were in the industry, working there.

In short, you have to plan two months supply ahead for fast-moving items to meet demands. Knowing so many people depend on your efficiency gives you slight anxiety that you were still taking pills for. Taehyung knows that much.

“Baby, are you stressed?” his sudden question didn’t stir you much, you were too occupied with work to bother too much about it. “Same old-same old, sweetheart… why? Is there something you’d like to talk about?” you murmured, switching your attention on the left page of the reports for last week delivery numbers to help predict the next month’s consumption.

“Just asking…” “I hope we can have lunch together, I wanted to eat with the kids.”

Taehyung felt an incoming ‘but’. But he was intruded, before it could come.

Jimin walks in. Yes, Taehyung knows about Jimin. He is your personal assistant for a year now since the last one resigned because she was starting a family. At first, Taehyung didn’t pay attention to it, but now that he had doubts; every single glance, words, and touches exchanged between you and Jimin had become breadcrumbs.

With a sleek blonde hair, pushed back, Jimin wore a classy baby blue dress shirt, paired with black trousers too tight for Taehyung’s comfort. He wears full-rimmed glasses but today, had them folded and tuck in his breast pocket when he came to see you.

“You called for me?” Raspy, light toned, polite and mesmerizing voice. He bowed his head slightly at the sight Taehyung and smiled fondly to the sleeping toddlers.

“I did,” you paused while pulling out a file from the stack, “I don’t recall agreeing on this design for the Summer packaging, and this particular bubble wrap supplier, we’ve worked with in the past, they’re very late in completing orders, I just don’t understand why I have to approve something I didn’t agree on--the last time I checked,” you tipped your eyes up and Jimin leans down closer, both of your faces are merely inches away from each other. You pointed the said company on the invoice paper and showed Jimin. Jimin squeezes his eyes and lowered his head to see better. That’s what the glasses are for, Taehyung pushes his tongue against the insides of his cheek, watching an absolute horror unfold before his eyes.

“Yes, yes… I remember that too,” Jimin softly whispered. It was almost as if Taehyung is morphed into witnessing a pillowtalk, “Here’s what we do, I’m going to double check with the secretary and make sure that we have updated the new list of companies that we are satisfied working with; I’ll make sure to email you, no later than…” he drags, and looked at his Rolex wrist watch that looked very similar to the ones you got for Taehyung on his birthday last year, brown straps, “...3pm.”

“Thanks, Jimin...what would I do without you,” you breathlessly say and Jimin gave you a charming smile that turned his eyes into crescents. “No problem,” Jimin tipped his head in your direction and excused himself with a polite expression at Taehyung, his boss’s husband. “I thought we’re going to talk?” Taehyung stuck his gaze on his knees, raising both of his eyebrows, his thumb picking on the threads of his worn out jeans.

You noticed the sudden change of tone but decided not to dwell on it. “Can it wait? Is it important?” The way it leaves your lips, was so tactless and when you realised how insensitive it was, it was already too late.

“I don’t know. Is our marriage important?”

You shut the door leading to the sky garden after Taehyung set his hands on the metal rails, over-looking down the metropolitan city. The high-rise building, the blue cloudless sky, the strong wind striking every once in a while, the car honks from the streets down below.

“Taehyung, what’s this about?” with the silence growing, you became impatient. Taehyung drops his head, his arms stretched along the handrails with a heavy huff and the droop of his shoulders.

“You built everything from the ashes… this building we stood on. From scrapes. It’s funny when you think about the very beginning at the first hint of an,” end. Taehyung didn’t finish his sentence. “This is all very lovely, and heart-warming,” you clicked your tongue and looks at your wrist watch, “But we could do this conversation inside...I thought it was something serious, because you mentioned marriage and stuff.” “It is about marriage,” Taehyung spun around to face you, “You--”

Your phone rang, and you answered it, “Yes I am aware of the conference call, I will be there on time, Jimin. Thank you for the reminder.” Much to Taehyung’s dismay. Taehyung’s jaw hung, in disbelief. He scoffs.

“Look at you!” he stresses, “You don’t have time being a mother, let alone a wife! Your work is consuming you. Not only that, you spend more time here than you ever do at home…! You speak to Jimin more than we do in a week!” He slows down, only to continue, “It was Tati’s birthday last week and you didn’t even show up or get her a present. I bought one for her and told her that it was from you.... And she was so happy…” he shook his head, a broken smile on his lips.

You were stunned. You were unable to utter a word. So you begin with a whisper of his name, “Taehyung…”

He turns away from you, his hand on his hip and he darted his eyes to the front before shutting them. Disappointed, unloved and possibly unheard.

“Everytime I say I need you home, you say you’re at the office and you will be late. All I want to know is, is it really work? Or is there more?” “What are you talking about…” “I’m talking about why Jimin is calling you out of office hours? And why do I find his tie in your bag? Why does he have the same wrist watch I have? Are you cheating on me?” “No. I wouldn’t!” “So you would have, if you didn’t have 5 kids with me? Is that it?” “Stop twisting my words… Jimin is my coworker and he helped me purchase that wrist watch for you. I went to team dinner with him, I told you that!”

Taehyung turns to face you and your brimming eyes, he leans his mouth next to your ear and growled, “Well coworkers don’t sit in the car together, after midnight...you thought I didn’t see that?” Taehyung leaves the sky garden with a hard gaze, piercing through Jimin’s entire body when he found the poor assistant standing right beside the entrance door to the sky garden. Taehyung was a master at disguising his emotions. Especially in front of his children.

“I’ll see myself out, thank you,” Taehyung carried Sam and Tati with ease. When Tati asked why she can’t say goodbye, Taehyung said, her mom is in a meeting. It was an obvious lie and Jimin heard it all.

You were still there. Still standing at the same spot Taehyung left you in. Still there, processing everything that had been said. Jimin’s heavy footsteps didn’t shake away your worry one bit, like it used to. You clutched your phone shakily, and pressed them against your lips, eyes darted forward at the sky. And you heard the door open, but you wave them away, whoever it might be. Not even turning to face them.

Jimin nodded once, “I’ll tell them you’ll be in ten minutes.”

Instead of heading back to the office, Jimin hid in the bathroom for employees. He laced his fingers together and leaned his forehead on them, sitting on the toilet cover, knees widespread. He bit his lips and half-shook his head.

You returned home before 6pm that day. The house is in a mess. For the first time in a long time, you arranged your heels neatly on the racks. The kids have had their dinner early. And there are three large baskets for laundry, arranged in a line by the wall. You took time to notice all the finer details of your beloved home, the one you build with Taehyung. Picture frames after picture frames greeted you. Of when Renee turned 2, then 3, then 4… and how you gradually disappear through the years. You couldn’t ignore the pain in your heart when you heard Taehyung’s voice in the distance.

“Okay, everybody out the tub!” Taehyung commanded, “Look at your fingers all wrinkled! We have to get out now, or you’ll age!” “Dad is lying!” Noah and Niel are very giggly and it struck you that you’ve never given bath to the kids ever since they could start to walk.. Sam had never been bathe by you since you started working, and you relied heavily on Taehyung.

“Oh noona! You’re home,” Jungkook bowed at you. Jungkook lives next door and frequently helped with babysitting the kids whenever he is needed. Laundry every 3 days and he’ll come and does his duties without being prompted. Once he resumes his college, you will have to find a new replacement and you hadn’t spoke about this with Taehyung yet. There’s a lot of things that needed discussions, and there’s so little time in a day. 

Blinking the tears away, you turned your attentions to the halls where Taehyung is carrying both of the boys in each arm, wrapped in towels. Taehyung caught your eyes but didn’t reciprocate the sadness. It’s like the conversation never happened, but with the way he was ignoring you, you were once again reminded that it did.

“Do you want to change first or what…” your husband took your purse but avoided your eyes entirely. “I’ll change,” you breathed.

Taehyung nods once. “Alright, Jungkook. The baby is in the crib there, Tati is colouring in the room while Renee is doing her homework.. There’s chopped fruit cubes in the fridge in case they get hungry, and there’s extra bottles of milk for the youngest. The boys have eaten no matter how much they try to fool you, don’t fall for it..understand?”

You could still hear Taehyung from the halls and it was amazing how he had everything sorted, alone. The bed is still neat, and none of the children were allowed on it, because it was mum and dad’s special place. Toys are in the basket, the diapers are arranged, along with the baby clothes, and it was easy to look past all these detail and you hated yourself for not being able to see this before.

Jungkook helped carry the baskets down with Taehyung and before your husband could make his way to the driver seat, you stopped him. Your eyes pleaded him with words you couldn’t say, when Jungkook is still here, fooling with the kids. Taehyung moves away, wordlessly and planted a kiss on each of the kids’ hair that manages to follow Jungkook down the apartment into the parking lot.

In the car, Taehyung rested his elbow on the car door, his long index finger rubbing the skin on top of his upper lip, his eyes lasering to the view outside the moving car. There’s only the music from the radio playing. Your heart is beating very fast, your eyes were drying from the way you were making them stay open. He’s right next to you, but you don’t feel him there. Is he even breathing? You want nothing more than to reach for him, tell him that you love him and how it doesn’t change, but it feels like you’re already too late. You don’t want to carry on like nothing is wrong. You want to save what you have left.

Taehyung was biting the insides of his cheeks, replaying the scene from this morning in repeat. He was angry, sad, upset, jealous--and he isn’t sure where to put his feelings. He doesn’t speak because all the talking had been done. You weren’t speaking either, but what was those eyes for? The way you’re looking at him. Is it a plea for him to stay? Why would you think he was going anywhere? The accusations are true, isn’t it? That’s why it scared you. Taehyung was eating his feelings.

He loads the laundry. No words exchanged. You insert the coins while he collects the empty basket, and stack them, one after the other. He took one bench and you took the seat right next to him. In between you both, on the floor, are the baskets you came with, empty. All its content in three different machines. Taehyung leans his head back. He wore a grey hoodie underneath a red plaid jacket. His brown fringes cover his brows, as he pushed his tongue against the insides of his cheek. You sat up straight, at the edge of the bench, knees pointed to the side where he is, hands in your lap, clasped and unclasping.

“...I want to tell you that everything you heard isn’t true,” you started. Taehyung nodded away, but in a careless way, as if he didn’t believe a thing you said. “It’s not just about what I heard. It’s what I see. With my own two eyes. It leaves me wondering what else you’ve been doing behind my back…” Taehyung crosses his arms. “Nothing, sweetie…” you emphasized, “I do my work, and nothing else.”

“Listen,” you moved closer to him but he repelled, “I realised that we haven’t been spending time together and that’s horrible of me. I hadn’t been treating you well but I want to, starting now. I just need to know that you still want this.”

Taehyung’s guard starts to wane. His arms fall to each side and he sat on the edge, clutching his fingers on the brim of the bench, underneath him. He chews his lower lip, feeling anxious to tell you what he had been feeling.

“I do. But, do you?” he pauses, and then, “When you come home from work, you don’t even look at me. You fall right to sleep when I begin talking to you in bed. Your answers are brief, and our only conversations are about diapers or house errands.”

There are nights that he wants you so much but couldn’t find it in him to ask for you. He would watch you sleep and before he could register those images in his head, another kid goes crying. You may have your company to worry about, and he only has you. Waiting for you to come home, to ask you about your day, to take care of your needs--whatever it might be. And it’s easy to forget, that he needs you too. Emotionally, sexually.

Do you ever look at the end, and wondered about the beginning? To how it all began, to what was there before the blizzards come and swept away everything?

Taehyung is your partner, in sickness and in health. There are so many things that you’ve been through, together. The house that you live in, it wasn’t painted and had a lot of holes. The walls needed remodelling, and when the remodelling happens, they needed to be painted over. And he’s the one helping you to reach the top corners that you couldn’t. You both have sat on that floor, where the couches are now, talking about the dreams you wanted to have together. You rested your head on his shoulder, while leaning back on the wall, a mug of hot chocolate between your hands. His eyes sparkles at the thought of having children run around this house. Picture frames began to decorate the walls, couch was brought in, rugs, curtains were hung, television set, coffee table, dining table, dining table chairs, kitchen appliances. And slowly, the house was filled.

If loyalty was put to the test, Taehyung would have passed with flying colors.

A whiff of the detergent begins to fill the corners of the laundromat, and you slowly reached for his veiny arms, sliding down his wrist. You took those hand into both of yours, and pressed your lips on each knuckle, murmuring, “I’m so thankful to have you.”

Taehyung’s gaze softens at the sight of you, and he covered your hands with his own, squaring his shoulder at you, so you sit face to face with each other.

“Please tell me how I can make this better,” you looked at him with eyes brimming with tears, and the moment he saw it, he gathers your head into his chest, cradling them gently. Gradually, the simple hand holding turns into an embrace. “Spend more time at home, with me...and do what lovers do,” Taehyung’s eyes turn into crescents, his lips puckered. He comforted you with a kiss on the forehead.

“And I want that Jimin fired,” Taehyung darted. “I’ll keep my distance from him,” you persuaded.

“Deal.” Deal.

The trip to the laundry, was even more fulfilling than the nights before. Romance are rekindled and words are exchanged for the better. Communication is key.

[xxsovereignsarayaxx]

Supernatural - Sign He Loves You Part 2

Authors Note: So I guess I shouldn’t have really left it on a cliff-hanger and when you fall asleep at night thinking you were happy with the outcome and then you shoot up awake and be like I have an IDEA! Yeah that was me at 4am - countless times. So here is part 2. For those who haven’t read it or need a refresher. And as always thank you for all your support its amazing <3

THE ROAD SO FAR…“She was stupid Sammy! Just plain stupid trying to protect us both and now she paid the price” I love you. “It’ll be a shock for her” I love you too. “Everything will be fine I promise” Son of a bitch. “Hello Fawn I’ve come to make you a deal.”

“Hello Fawn I’ve come to make you a deal” Crowley said to where you was met with a smug look on his face. Swallowing you took a slight step back wondering why the King of Hell was here and how he got in without setting of the alarm.

“Fawn relax, no need to worry your pretty little head but I did happen to hear about your unfortunate turn of events” He added.

“The pun intended Crowley?” You asked crossing your arms.

“Exactly” He replied.

“Wait? W...what’s happening?” You muttered to yourself, bringing your arms around to protect yourself.

“A taste of what’s to come if you agree to my terms.”

Standing now in silence, you calmed your breathing. Tucking a piece of your hair behind your ear you composed yourself. Breathing steadily.

“Out with them then, your terms explain away” You said to the demon.

“It’s quite simple really” Crowley started as he pulled out a bit of folded paper from his pocket.

“Kill the name that’s on the list and your hearing will be as crystal clear as a babies bottom is smooth.” He finishes buttoning his jacket back up. Taking the piece of paper from him you opened it to see the name.

“Along with giving me your soul.” He muttered under his breath.

“Why the hell is my brothers name written on this?” You asked bitterly getting more angry as the seconds carried past.

“My, my Fawn you sure share you temper with squirrel. But your brother is no more, dead, deceased… capiche? Its just a unruly demon floating around in that meat-suit of his. Unruly demons are bad for business.” Crowley replied to you interrupting your rant.

“I may not be deaf at his moment Crowley but I heard you also wanted my soul, so what’s the price tag on that then?” You asked.

“10 years, just like everybody else” He replied.

“No way” You shot back shaking your head.

“Come now Fawn, I’m being generous that’s more then your life expectancy as a hunter” Crowley countered.

“I don’t see Castiel floating down here to help you, I happen to be your next best bet.” He added. You started to pace a little.

“Crowley that is where your very wrong, Sam and Dean their helping me adjust so we can work and live as a family. I can still hunt, I can still do research whether that be from in here or on the road.” You replied running a hand through your hair.

“You really expect to think squirrel is going to let you on the road after this?” Crowley replied to you.

“Leave Crowley” You pleaded.

“Think on my offer Fawn, I trust you want to find your brother or what’s left of him” He said, clicking his fingers disappearing. Taking your momentarily returned hearing with him.

Now you had returned to hearing nothing but silence your eyes had started to well up and a few stray tears rolled down your face, sniffling you wiped them with the cuff of ‘your’ shirt and padded back to bed. Your mind was running around a hundred times a moment and you thought what you had told Crowley was a pack of lies, deep down you knew that your life on the road as a hunter would come to a stop. You felt weak and a burden...

Entering your room you noticed that Dean was basically still in the same position as to when you left, moving the covers you got back into bed and cuddled up to him taking in his warmth seeking the comfort you had desperately craved, he stirred a little moving his arm to bring you closer to him, planting a kiss on the top of your head and then fell back into his deep slumber. Sighing you closed your eyes and tried to get a few more hours shut eye.

But your plan to get some so more sleep drastically failed, your conversation with the King of Hell just kept playing over and over in your head and if it wasn’t for the fact tossing and turning probably would have woken up Dean, you opted for staring at the ceiling it was boring and unbearable and my god were you exhausted but you could just not seem to settle.

Surprisingly exhaustion came and you finally had been able to drop back off to sleep, you were that tired that you hadn’t felt Dean get out of bed.

You stirred once more feeling a cold empty patch beside you, fluttering your eyes open you looked at the digital clock on the bedside table seeing that the time was 10:38am, you still felt rather groggy and opted for a cup of two of coffee knowing that caffeine would be your best friend in this situation like it had done many times in the past. With a few splashes of water and a change of clean clothes you headed towards the kitchen, you had wondered where the boys were walking towards the library popping your head in the entrance to see the large room empty with just a simple note left on the table.

GONE TO GET PIE – D X

You had let out a small chuckle and seeing Dean’s note brought a smile to your lips, you also happened to notice Sam’s laptop was also left on the desk surrounded by some papers and files. At first you wanted to abandon your current quest for a caffeine fix but went against the idea knowing that you would happen to regret it later in the day, so picking up the laptop and heading to the kitchen like you had set out to do, getting what you needed to put on another pot of coffee. While it was doing its magic you opened the lid on the laptop and brought up Sam’s program for getting into the police database. Entering your brothers name you had found numinous reports and within a matter of moments with some quick skimming your whole world was turned upside down. Growing up your brother was a good kid never got into trouble at school got good grades and then went into the army when he was 18. But the person you were reading about didn’t fit your brothers personality one bit and it frightened you. Article after article you found that your brother had been dishonourably discharged from the army and fell into the wrong crowd. According to the reports your little brother was the leader of the gang he had joined...

The demon was going to pay…

Getting a clean cup you poured yourself a generous amount of the black liquid while propped up against the counter you continued to find a paper trail looking for any traces of your so called brother, the files you had dug up were taking you across not just states but the country. He had hit big cities like New York and Jacksonville to even bother with smaller towns such as Beacon Falls and Cloverdale and it confused you, you couldn’t find a connection but you knew you had to keep on digging to try and get one step ahead so you could capture your brother and exercise it, hoping that Crowley was wrong that somehow your brother was alive and just stuck in a nightmare.

Sipping on your coffee your typing must of brought in some attention because Sam and Dean entered the kitchen. Letting out a smile to the brothers. “Find something?” Sam asked you slowly. You nodded your head. The boys came over to you as your brought up the window with your research. Taking a breath hoping you wouldn’t shout, you tried to explain what had happened in the night.

“C...Crowley came to me in the night” You started.

“A demon is possessing m...my brother” You finished letting your head down in defeat.

Immediately you felt the warm arms surround your body and head tucked underneath Dean’s chin. Sam span the computer around to him and did some more digging, while Dean used one hand to fish his mobile from his pocket.

In a matter of moment Crowley appeared before the three of us, seeing a click of fingers you felt that same sensation as one of your senses returned.

“Moose, Squirrel, Fawn. How are we today?” Crowley asked in a patronising tone.

“I see that I perked your interest Fawn, did you enjoy story time about your brother?” The demon asked adding to his opening line.

“Where is he?” You seethed, your body tensed and started to shake slightly with anger.

“You have the power to return Y/N hearing, do it and whatever you want doing we’ll do it.” Dean stated looking at Crowley head on.

“That’s not the deal is it Y/N? Find him first, hearing second.” Crowley replied.

“We never agreed on the terms so there is no deal between us Crowley. I will find the demon and remove it from my brother. But I will not just hand over my soul to you in exchange for my hearing!” You shouted.

“I’ll find the demon and you will owe me. I don’t want any help from you, I can do this. Me. Not Sam. Not Dean. Me.” You added storming out of the kitchen and headed for your bedroom.

As soon as you left the proximity you felt calmer but also back to hearing the darkness. Rushing around you picked up your duffel bag and started to throw in some clothes, lore books you kept in the cabinet of your bedside table along with your gun and blade. Zipping bag up you hurried out of the door and collided with the chest of Sam. He placed his hands on your shoulders and gave you a reassuring smile he took your bag from you and guided you back to the kitchen still seeing Crowley and Dean. You saw Crowley click his fingers together once more.

“We’ll find the demon. Just give Y/N her hearing back.” Dean said.

[taurusjaehyun]

best birthday ever // j.jh

♦Pairing: jaehyun x fem reader

♦Other Members/ Characters: Johnny, Taeyong, Yuta, Hendery and Lucas [mentioned]

♦Genre: smut, roommate Jaehyun

♦Warnings: breast and nipple play?, fingering, sex toys, dildo fucking, filming

♦Word count: 6,528

♦Story: Valentine’s meant birthday and a holiday for you and your roommate-slash-good friend, Jaehyun. Usually, if you guys weren’t dating other people, you’d be going out but this year, the snow piled up that you couldn’t leave your shared apartment so you decided to let your precious roommate have his gift at home, which was mainly anything he wanted to do. And it was no secret Jung Jaehyun had always wanted to fuck you.

Note: This was totally spontaneous?? Sorry if its bad sksksk also I suck at summaries. Its almost 4am so this isn’t proofread as always so ignore my mistakes or tell me about it so I can edit sksks. I know this is about Jaehyun’s b-day and it’s sooo late already but whatever!! Better late than never!! I hope yall like it and enjoy!!!!

“So, what do you want for your birthday? It can be anything.” You spoke, eyes stuck to your phone as you texted your friend from work, “It can be cash, a favor, something personal….” You trailed as you peeked at your roommate Jaehyun, who was resting his head on your lap, watching a compilation of funny babies on youtube. You both were in your bed because Jaehyun liked the smell of your room better than his, or so he says. “I can also cook you something. The snow is literally piling up outside so I don’t know if we’ll be able to go out.”

 Jaehyun paused his texting and looked up at you, pondering. “Hmmm...”

 “You can’t have sex with me, though.” You laughed. It was a joke running joke between the two of your for years now. It was no secret that Jaehyun had always wanted to fuck you but you always denied him, because you loved him—as a friend, of course but you couldn’t deny you’ve wanted to have sex with him at least once.

 You met Jaehyun back in university, at freshman orientation. But the two of you had gotten close after you officially met each other in your universities Poetry Club and bonded over poetry—naturally. The two of you would read the poems you wrote to each other, much to the other girls’ jealousy and not just in the Poetry Club. But to be honest, it was just the two of you asking each other for advice and it quickly developed to a friendship that lasted.

After university, you and Jaehyun had applied to the same company and also got accepted together, however the two of you had been assigned in different departments and only a floor apart. You decided to move in together to save money. Your co-workers had always assumed that you were together but you’ve always denied it even 3 years later, you were still telling the new interns that you weren’t dating THE Jung Jaehyun but people never believed you anyways. It was partly Lucas and Hendery’s fault why interns think you’re dating because the two were your biggest shippers.

 “I have an idea!” Jaehyun suddenly sat up and moved to face you, on his knees. “Since you said we can’t go out because of the snow, can my request be valid from tonight until the end of my birthday? Please?”

 You hummed, slowly nodding. “Yeah, sure. What do you wanna do anyways?”

 Jaehyun grinned, “Well, technically, it’s a lot of things but it all comes down to one thing.”

 “What?” Jaehyun could get pretty weird so you couldn’t help but feel curious and nervous at the same time.

 Jaehyun licked his lips, hesitating. You furrow your brows at him, urging him on. He usually wasn’t hesitant with you. “Can you stay topless the whole day?”

 You burst out laughing at his request, “topless like… No shirt, no bra?” Jaehyun nodded and you laughed even more. It was no big deal. You had seen each other naked countless of times—sober and shitfaced drunk. You sat up, put down your phone to your side and took off your night gown, leaving you in your cotton panties that you loved wearing to sleep in comfort. “No biggie. Is that all?”

 “Can I touch them and play with them anytime I want?” Jaehyun asked straight up. Of course he’d wanted to do this for the longest time. He’d take the chance given, of course. “I mean your boobs?”

 You pause. It wouldn’t hurt to let him, right? “Sure. That’s easy.”

 “Can I suck them too? Like, your nipples?”

 “What are you planning to do?” You asked, slapping his arm.

 “It’s just for a day? I mean, after this, I can’t do this anymore.” Jaehyun reasoned out. He wasn’t sure that he’d get another chance like this again ever.

 You and Jaehyun knew each other inside and out since you were so close. And back in uni, in between bottles of red bull and hard liquor, the two of you had talked about sex. The two of you had talked to each other about your kinks and eventually, Jaehyun had confessed that he wanted to sleep with you. You denied him and told him that as much as you’d like to, you just didn’t want to.

 But just because the two of you hadn’t slept together doesn’t mean the two of you hadn’t done anything sexual. The two of you had made out “platonically” a few times during uni and after, specifically a few hours earlier. Sometimes at the break room, you’d make out when you were bored or needed a stress relief. Occasionally grinding “platonically” too. But the two of you had never touched each other under your clothes.

 You pursed your lips and pondered, it was Jaehyun’s birthday and Jaehyun knew you liked having your nipples sucked so it would also be for your benefit. Besides, Jaehyun had always raved about his ‘skills’ and you knew about his fixation on tits too. “Ok. Sure. You can do whatever you want with my boobs but only from tonight until the end of your birthday, ok?” It was only 9pm. Still early. “Don’t hurt me!”

 Jaehyun ended up laughing, his big thunderous laugh resounding in your room. Somehow it made you feel offended for some reason. “When have I ever hurt you, y/n? I’ll never ever hurt you!” You didn’t get the double meaning in his words so you were quite confused by his laughter. “So can I start now?”

 You sighed, fluffing your pillow before leaning back on it, getting comfortable in your spot. “Ok, you can.” You grab your phone from your side and start to text your friends from work again, talking about the next cases you guys had to work on again.

 Jaehyun settled between your legs and got on top of you, with his face on your chest. He was eye level with your nipples that you found it a funny cause it was like he was having a stare down with your nipples. He started slowly by touching your breasts lightly as if he was shy. Well, it was the first time he’d do this to you so he wanted to take it slow first before he got too crazy. He couldn’t deny he wanted to feel how the metal bar in your nipples would feel in his mouth and he could only imagine the things he’d do to play with it.

 “I can’t believe you have both your nipples pierced. It’s so sexy.” Jaehyun spoke excitedly, biting his lips as he took in the sight of your bare tits. He’d seen it a lot of times but he loved it so much. And the image of your pierced nipples always got him excited. “I’ve never been with a girl with pierced nipples.”

 Jaehyun watches as your breasts jiggle with the movement of your chest while you laughed. “It hurt like a mother fucker, too.”

 You had gotten them pierced when you turned 21, as an act of liberation from your strict and conservative upbringing. Actually, Jaehyun was there when you had it put on, laughing at your painful screams while he caught it all on tape, much to your annoyance. Despite the pain you felt from having it done and the time it took for it to heal, it was the best decision of your life. Guys love it and it increased sensitivity on your nipples so it’s a win-win for you.

 “What cup are you, by the way?”

 “36C, usually. It depends on the brand.”

 “Wow.” Jaehyun looked so amazed whenever your tits would jiggle whenever he gave it a nudge. And the fact that your breasts spilled over the grasp of his rather big hands. “It’s so big.” Soon, he started squeezing but avoiding your nipples.

 Jaehyun leaned in, licking on the undersides of your breasts as he pinched the generous fat of your tits. He smiled as he blew hot and cold air on your nipples, making you gasp and tremble as your nipples slowly turned hard with every gust of air he blew.

 She put away your phone away and set it on the nightstand after you plugged it in then looked at Jaehyun, grimacing. “Perv.”

 Jaehyun leaned forward, properly getting on his knees in between your legs but never letting go of your breasts. He only grinned before fully hovering over you and leaned in to kiss you on the mouth. You returned his open mouthed kisses, loving how he easily took your breath away.

He pulls away from you, pressing his forehead against yours as you both breathed in deeply. He locked his eyes with you as he continued massaging your tits.

  “Who told you you could kiss me like that?” You scoffed, cupping his face and squishing his cheeks. He only gave you a sly smile before pecking your lips again, then eventually going down your jaw and neck.

 You tilt your head back, giving him more access to your neck and Jaehyun doesn’t disappoint, immediately finding your sensitive spot and making you whine as he nipped and sucked on your skin. Jaehyun went down again to kiss at your chest again, but avoiding your nipples that were already begging to be sucked, even if you tried to hide that fact. You licked your lips as you watch him pepper your chest with kisses, occasionally marking you.

 “You know, you have the prettiest nipples I’ve ever seen.” Jaehyun spoke as he hovered over you and leaned in again until your foreheads were touching again. He never really found nipples pretty but yours were in a pretty shade that contrasted your olive skin and to top that, your nipples were a bit puffy, making it look cute. And the thrill of seeing pierced nipples in real life was incredibly sexy and so, so arousing for him. You had on metal bars that had small, dainty flower designs at the end that makes it look very pretty.

 You lifted your head up and caught his lips in a short kiss. “Thank you, Jae.” You laughed then resumed your lip lock.

 Jaehyun licked at your lower lips, asking for entrance but you stood her ground, not letting him in. You reached over and cupped his face as you slanted your face making kissing him easier. You were trying to take lead and it was working.

 He kept trying to ask for entrance but you would shut him down again and again, making him laugh as you kissed. “Let me in, come on.” Jaehyun grinned against your lips, kissing you again.

 You smiled as you kissed him back, then somehow ended up biting his bottom lip which made Jaehyun a bit turned on. “No.”

 “I’ll just have to make you give in,” he smirked before catching your mouth into a deep kiss again. You didn’t want to lose so you fought for dominance until you were the one leading the kiss again. Jaehyun started to knead at your breasts again, almost painfully but it was delicious pain for you.

 You reached over and wrapped your arms around his back, pulling him closer. Simultaneously, Jaehyun rubbed both your nipples with the pad of his thumbs, making you moan out. Jaehyun took this chance and immediately let himself in your mouth, rubbing his tongue against yours.

 You gasp and push him away in surprise. Your nipples had been begging to be touched since earlier and the way he did it by surprise caught you. Before you had gotten your nipples pierced, they were already very sensitive but now that they’re pierced, the sensitivity increased tenfold.

 “I told you I’d make you give in,” Jaehyun smirked before he leaned in again to kiss you, but this time you both were kissing with tongues. He loved your earlier reaction to his ministration so Jaehyun had teased you a few times, gently rubbing his thumb against your sensitive nipples, surprising you every time even if you saw it coming which made you a slight mess under him.

 Jaehyun pulled away, hands never ceasing to massage her tits and playing with your nipples, flicking your buds with his fingertips. He loved how flushed you looked, out of breath with your lips a bit swollen from your earlier bouts of kissing. You looked so sexy to him that he couldn’t help but be excited for when he’d be finally be able to fuck you with his cock.

 “God, you’re so sexy.” He breathed as he kissed your jaw, fingers still flicking your sensitive nubs that made you tremble in pleasure. Your nipples and fingertips were dry so the constant teasing was a bit rough and a little painful for you but it was too good.

 His kisses slowly made its way to the tops of your chest, and eventually on your breasts. You watched as he tongued the space between your breasts, slowly licking and nipping as his big hands held your breasts, gently massaging and squeezing the fat. He pressed your breasts together and buried his face in between, sighing comfortably. It made you laugh as your watched his blissed reaction in between your tits. With your tits still pushed together, he started to fuck your cleavage with his tongue and licking into it as if he was eating pussy.

 “You’re dirty. And really good at teasing.” You breathed out as you covered your eyes with your arm, not wanting to see his reaction to your flushed face.

 Jaehyun chuckled letting go of your tits and watching them bounce at the drop. He leans his head to the side, kissing the sides of you breasts, nipping on the skin. He watched your reaction as he did everything which was entertaining to him. He could see you were getting turned on and he hasn’t even done anything more than touch your nipples. He was also starting to smell your arousal which was for sure really wet but since you said no penetration, he’d have to make do of what he had right now.

 He watched as you kept your eyes closed, resting both your arms on your sides and gulp as Jaehyun kissed your chest. You haven let out a moan since when he first touched your nipples and he could tell that you were clearly trying to hold back as you would bite your lips.

 Feeling the excitement himself, Jaehyun turned his attention to your right breast and dragged the tip of his tongue on your areola, making you gasp. He looked up at you then flicked the tip of his tongue on to your hardened bed, making you moan and jerk your hips at the motion. Smirking, he enveloped your nipple with his mouth and started sucking, using his tongue to flick her nipple and sucking like a baby thirsty for milk.

 Jaehyun pulled away and pressed your breasts together again, making sure to push your nipples closer until your areolas were touching each other. He started to lick at both nipples at the same time, flattening his tongue and moving his head side to side. Looking up, he saw your were trying hard to contain you pleasure.

 The next thing you knew was it was morning, topless and being spooned by Jaehyun who was only in his sweatpants. You could feel his erection against your ass and the way his hand was holding onto one of your tits. You were still very wet from last night and your nipples felt sore but it was nothing bad, in fact, it felt great as you knew your nipples would be more sensitive than last night.

 You got up after you had seen it was 6AM and took a bath, rubbing your clit to orgasm in the shower in the process before deciding to make breakfast. You had fallen asleep last night while Jaehyun was having the time of his life with your tits because you were lacking sleep because of your work so breakfast was a great way to say sorry and a great start to his birthday. You wore a tank top with snaps at the front so you could take them off easily and your old shorts from uni.

 You cooked some rice and waited a bit before deciding to cook Jaehyun’s favorite breakfast and your famous tomato scrambled eggs and the soy sauce soft pork that your mom taught you before you moved out before you started uni years ago where you met Jaehyun. You started to check your social media while the pork was cooking since it would take a while before it cooked.

 “Good morning, sweetheart.” Jaeyun called out loudly to you, surprising you and making you drop your phone. It landed on the potholder on the counter and not on the marble, thankfully.

 “Hey, asshat. Morning to you, too!” You laughed as you turned off her phone and walked over to the stove where the pork was cooking. You turned away from the stove again only to find Jaehyun walking towards you. It was obvious he had just showered and again, and he was wearing nothing but one of his many red sweatpants. “Happy birthday, Jaehyun.”

 “Thank you, sweetheart,” Jaehyun smiled, hugging you from behind and kissing your temple before getting the coffee machine started. You loved drinking coffee but you couldn’t make it for shit. “I thought I told you that you had to stay topless the whole day?” Jaehyun smirked as he crossed his arms over his, clearly enjoying teasing you.

 You rolled her eyes and scoffed, turning to look at him. “Are you serious?” You gave the pork a few last stirs before deciding it was ready.

 “Yes, Ms. y/n. I’m always serious when it comes to you, you know?” Jaehyun watched as you turned off the stove and plated the pork. You then headed to the table and sat down in your designated seat. The table was already prepared and the coffee was the only thing missing. “Also, a promise is a promise. And it’s my birthday today!”

 Of course you couldn’t deny him. You liked it anyways. “Ok, fine. As long as you do the dishes.”

 Jaehyun smirked at your comment as he made two cups of coffee then brought it over to the table, settling in his seat in front of you. Your dining table was only fit for four people since it was only the two of you in the apartment and you barely had friends over. You always hung at Johnny, Taeyong and Yuta’s shared apartment which was much bigger. “I always do the dishes, woman!” He laughed.

 You smiled and took a sip of your coffee before opening the snaps of your shirt then pulling the material to the side, exposing your breasts to him. Jaehyun didn’t really think you’d so it so he ended up being surprised by your act. “Eat up, birthday boy.” You grin at him as he stared at you with a surprised expression.

 After the two of you had breakfast, Jaehyun had cleared the table and started washing the dishes while you worked on your cases with your laptop on your lap as you sat on the comfy couch you both bough together a while back. You were a junior researcher for a firm so you had to do reports besides the cases so you didn’t hesitate to do exactly that. And you were a little behind on it too.

 After Jaehyun had wiped the dishes dry and stacked them back to the shelf, he went to the living room, sitting beside you on the couch. He watched you typing away on your computer, focused on your job and not ignoring the fact you had left your tank top unclasped for him. He knew he had to make the best of this one day deal so he reached out his hands, grasping the fatty globes in his hands, shaking, squeezing and whatever he could do. You didn’t mind and continued on with your work, letting him do whatever he wanted.

 “Y/n, will you be mad if I took a picture of your boobs?” Jaehyun suddenly asked as he started tracing the flower details of your nipple bar with his finger.

 Unable to hear his words due to the music you were listening to, you took off your ear buds. “What did you say?”

 Jaehyun smiled, shaking his head. “I was saying that I’d like to take advantage of my one day so can you please put your computer away so I can do what I do?” He was joking but of course, he meant it.

 You nodded, chuckling. “Fine. This is the only time I’ll let you do this, though.” You saved your document and turned off your laptop before you set it on the coffee table in front of you.

 “Can I eat something off your boobs?” Jaehyun chuckled as he pushed you down on the sofa, fragging your body down so you were flat on the sofa. You laughed and shrugged as he hovered over you. “I can play with your nipples, right? Can I?” You nodded, covering your face with your forearms now that Jaehyun was already working on your breasts with his hands. “Can I bite?” He asked before he gently bit on your right nipple, keeping a tight hold on it as he pulled it up then letting go of it. You gasped loudly as he started sucking onto the nipple to ease the pain, making you arch your back. “Last night you fell asleep on me but I took advantage of it, you know.

 You nod at his words. You knew he was still sucking on your nipples when you were drifting between sleep and consciousness. “Not too hard, okay?” Because of last night, your nipples were crazy sensitive. You found yourself squeezing your thighs together even though he hasn’t done anything much. Honestly, just the thought of being topless around Jaehyun, knowing he was watching you made you wet already and now that he was lapping up up your nipples as if he was waiting for milk to come out, it made you even wetter.

 “Noted.” He mumbles against your nipple, kissing the marks he had left on your breasts the night before. “I can’t think of anymore I wanna do specifically but can I get your permission?”

 “You know what, you don’t have to ask. Do what you want to do. I’ll deal with you after your birthday.” You spoke with a tone of annoyance but you just wanted him to do anything he wanted with your tits at this point. No need to ask.

 “Yes, ma’am,” Jaehyun grinned. He was a kinky motherfucker and he knew it. However, he couldn’t exactly do everything he wanted, specifically fucking you but he would do anything he could with your perfect tits. “I’m so glad we did this because your boobs are probably my favorite in the whole world.”

 You ended up laughing and he watched in glee is as your tits shook when you laughed. It was also amazing how he could keep his cool despite the forming tent in his pants. “Well, my favorite is your face.” You spoke sincerely, behind the light laughter. It was your honesty but you knew how you hid it as a joke that made Jaehyun laugh.

 You took a sharp breath as his hot, wet tongue circled your areola before he took the soft tit into his mouth, sucking the fat until your nipple was at the back of his throat. He let your tit go with a loud, wet smack before doing the same to the other tit as he used his free hand to play with the abandoned tit

.

“God,” You breathed out, as you unfolded your arms from over your face and looked down at Jaehyun who was now holding both of your tits in his hands. Your breasts were both very wet with his spit, as he sucked on both nipples by alternating on both tits.

 Jaehyun looked up at you as soon as you spoke, eyes mischievous and his wet mouth in a teasing smirk. Your eyes were hooded and your mouth agape and he could see you were licking your lips every so often. He leans forward and kisses you until you’re out of breath, hands never leaving your amazing tits.

 “Sit down.” He whispers as he pulls you up, kissing your neck, to your shoulder and back to your sweet mouth as he held you by the nape, not letting you go. He locked you in his arms so you couldn’t pull away from his engulfing, passionate kisses.

 You held onto him tight as you kissed deeply than ever, teeth clashing, nose bumping and tongue probing. You cupped his face and eventually wrapping your arms around his neck. Somehow along the way, Jaehyun had gotten your top off, leaving you bare except for your shorts.

 He pulls away, shoving you closer to the arm rest so you could comfortably lean. “Watch me.” He spoke, the rasp in his voice seemingly hypnotizing you. You lean back on your elbows and rest your head on the arm rest, giving you a view of his amazing body and his straining erection. He forced your legs open and got in between before leaning down, hands capturing your breasts and mouth sucking fervently on your nipples.

 You hissed, leaning your head back as your eyes closed in delicious pain when Jaehyun bit on your right nipple, the most sensitive one. “Fuck, Jaehyun.”

 Jaehyun watched your swollen mouth part before your hooded eyes met his as he continued his assault on your nipples. “Watch me.” You yelp and gasp when he gave your right tit a hard slap, making you close your eyes at the impact. “Keep your eyes open!” He growled as he slapped your right tit again, while he sucked heavily on your left tit.

 Bottom lip caught in your teeth, you struggled to keep your eyes open as Jaehyun gave you full blows of pleasure time after time. You were so wet that you could feel the back of shorts wet with your pussy juice. In reality it had only been a few minutes but it felt like he had been doing it forever.

 “Can I tell you something?” Jaehyun speaks, planting pecks on your chest, hands never stopping at groping and squeezing. “Fucking hell, your tits are perfect.”

 You swallowed and nodded, “I know,” your voice was low and your throat was dry. It wasn’t even a coherent reply to his words.

 Jaehyun pulled back, sitting up, grinding his erection against your crotch in the process. “Wait,” With your hooded eyes, you watched as Jaehyun leaned to the side to grab his phone, turning on the camera to video mode and setting it against the vase on the coffee table to capture the two of you in the frame with a good angle. He turned back at you with a wicked smirk. “Let me keep this as a memory.”

 You frowned, a bit uncomfortable but once Jaehyun was back on licking and sucking, you were also back in your amazing world of pleasure. He continued his ministrations, making you feel so good that you eventually forgot about the camera filming you.

 Jaehyun started grinding his erection against you, specifically rubbing his tip against your sensitive clit, making you gasp and push against him. You were feeling too damn sensitive that this was the death of you. You hadn’t fucked in so long that you were considering really having sex with Jaehyun at this point. Jaehyun knew your kinks and what ticked you off and the fact that you loved having your nipples sucked and that it was your weakness and what more if you’re being stimulated or fucked through it, orgasm isn’t long out of reach.

 “Oh, god, baby,” You moaned, arching your back to push your tits closer to Jaehyun’s mouth. You licked your dried lips as you breathed hard. “Fuck, fuck, fuck.”

 Seeing that your tits were already raw, and sore he decided to halt. He had slapped your tits a little too much that the skin was a bit red, and the severe hickeys marring your skin. Your nipples were a bit red and bite marks circled the skin around your nipples. It was such a beautiful sight that Jaehyun had to get his phone to get a good view of his art on her. He grinded on you as he filmed you, the front of his sweatpants wet with his pre cum and your juices.

 “I didn’t think you’d get this wet,” Jaehyun chuckles as he holds on to your hips with his free hand, grinding harder but keeping the same pace.

 “I wanna cum,” you moan, “but we can’t fuck.” It was more of a warning and Jaehyun knew to respect you.

 “Cute.” He grins, putting away his phone and grinding onto you with his hands gipping on both sides of your hips, keeping you in place. “I’ll let you cum tonight myself, ok? But not right now.” He smiles as he leans down and kisses you on the mouth in which you hungrily reciprocate, wrapping your legs around his waist and grinding your hips up to his.

 Jaehyun pulls away, mouth wet with spit from your hungry kiss. Your eyes were still hooded, mouth agape as you gasped for air and your beautiful chest heaving up and down. For the last time, he gave each nipples a suck and a kiss as he unwrapped your legs around him the stood up, pulling you up with him.

 “I fucking hate you, Jaehyun.” You groaned as you hung onto Jaaehyun’s neck who as he carried you into your bedroom.

 “I know, baby.” He laughs as he set you down on your bed, “now, show me what I can use to help you cum later.” You had instructed him to go into your closet and grab your pink box that had a passcode on it. He took it back and you told him the passcode which was the day the two of you moved in together.

 The box opened, revealing a surprising collection of sex toys that surprised Jaehyun. You had said you liked exploring and you had dated a lot more women than men but he didn’t expect you to have these toys as possessions. The products looked high quality and he guesses she must have spent and invested in these a lot.

 Upon opening the box, the first thing that caught Jaehyun’s attention was 3 dildos that varied in size, the biggest and most realistic one reminded him of his own cock which made him smirk. The other two was a few inches smaller and were those unrealistic typical dildos. You also had a collection of butt plugs that varied in size and material but the biggest and the prettiest one was the metal one with the ruby red jewel at the end. Jaehyun could just imagine you, stuffed and pretty wearing the princess plug.

 Jaehyun looked deeper and found a few benwa balls, external and internal vibrators and a big Hitachi magic wand that he’d only ever seen in the Japanese porn he loved watching. “Wow. I never imagined you’d have these.” He smirked as he looked at you, now a bit calmed but still looking very much hot and bothered.

 You had your forearms over your eyes once again because it felt like Jaehyun was peeking at the deeper side of you, specifically the kinkier side of you and not just what you’d told him. “Shut up,” you whine quietly.

 Eager to search this box from top to bottom, Jaehyun lifts the corner and is surprised to see that the top part of the box is removable and under the first layer is where the other toys were hidden.

 In the bottom compartment were silk ropes that Jaehyun could see using in the near future, bottles of lube, nipple clamps, handcuffs, eye covers and other more he’s usually seen in porn. He already has a few ideas he wants to try out but of course, he knows you didn’t want him to have sex with you, it was a bit of a letdown.

 “Since you say we can’t fuck, would you let me use that dildo on you?” Jaehyun asks, a big smirk on his face as he takes the dildo from the box and gauges the size and girth with his own hand, lightly jerking it off and sucking on the tip.

 You looked at Jaehyun and swallowed as you watched him suck on the dildo, making your pussy throb. It was amazing how soft and cute he was usually but he turns into this dominant in these times. How lucky were the people that got to experience it full circle.

 He then walks over to you, getting on the bed until he was kneeling once again in between your legs. “What do you say? I can make you feel good.” He traced your nipples with his fingertips, “and I bet you’d like me to suck your nipples while you’re getting fucked with this dildo.” The look in his eyes was dangerous that you wanted to say yes instead of the safe no but it was like you was being hypnotized so she nodded in affirmation, making Jaehyun chuckle darkly.

 You lick your lips and nod. “Fuck me with that dildo first and you’ll find out.” You lift your hips up and pull off your underwear, throwing it wherever in the room. Jaehyun was completely in awe as you spread your legs for him, showing him your bare and sopping pussy.

 Jaehyun hisses, letting go of the dildo and diving face first to your crotch but not quite touching. He groans as he takes a deep breath, taking in the smell of your arousal and you found it dirty but sex at the same time that you pussy throbs. “God, you smell so fucking delicious. I can’t wait to know if you taste as good as you smell.” He wraps his left arm around your leg and pulls you closer to him as he breaths you in.

 “Fuck me now, come on.” You whine as you squeeze your tits, rolling your nipples with your own fingers. You try to grind your hips but his strong hold on you leaves you immobile so you groan in annoyance. “If you don’t fuck me with that dildo, I’ll never let you do this to me again.”

 Jaehyun chuckles as he sits up, grabbing the dildo by his side, eyes still at your pussy. “Your pussy is fucking amazing.” He smiles, as he drags the head of the large cock against your wet slit but rubbing harder against your clit, making you arch your back at the contact. “I bet your pussy’s gonna swallow up all of this big cock, huh? You’re just begging up to be filled with cock. I can tell.” He smiles, trailing kisses down your belly then eventually going face to face with your pussy.

 He lined the head of the dildo against your wet slit, pressing the thick head, watching as your hole stretched to make way for the head to enter you. You moan, feeling the burn of the stretch. You’ve been so busy that you barely even had time to relieve yourself so it had definitely been a while since something had penetrated you.

 You were waiting for the burn to last, as you expected him to push the dildo further inside you but you feel the dildo pulled out of you, and instead, he had dipped two of his fingers inside you, slowly fucking into you, curling his fingers and immediately rubbing your spot. “Fuck, Jaehyun!”

 “You’re taking in my fingers so fucking well, y/n.” Jaehyun spoke against your skin, licking and kissing on every expanse of skin that he could reach from his position as he starts scissoring his fingers inside of you. “You’re so fucking wet.” He fucked his fingers deeper into you, faster and faster until you were arching your back.

 Jaehyun pulls out of you, making you whine as you could feel your orgasm nuilding up before he pulled out.  “Sorry, babe. Be patient.” He grabs the dildo from his side, moving up and laying down beside you then lines up the dildo against your wet and now stretched hole. He pushes the dildo deep inside you with one fast motion that has you arching your back at the motion. He doesn’t wait for you to get used to size and immediately pumps the dildo his hand gripping on the base.

 “Jaehyun! Fuck!” You moan as you grasp on the hand pumping the dildo inside of you, the feelings getting too much for you. He leans down to kiss at your breasts, licking anywhere he could reach, hypnotized with how you took the big dildo inside your pussy. He sticks out his tongue against your sensitive nipple, letting it rub against his tongue as your tits shake from the force of him fucking you hard with the dildo.

 The pace he fucks you in is fast, hard and almost brutal that it just hits you so deep that you couldn’t help rolling your eyes back every time the tip hit that spot deep inside you. Jaehyun is strong and definitely really used to doing things with his hands as his pace and aim never faltered, even when he was moving, reaching over to suck at your other nipple. Every push of the dildo inside you was fast and hard that you could feel the familiar heat of your body and that feeling of lightheadedness that had you gripping at whatever you could.

 You put your arm around his head and pulled him closer as he started to suck on your nipples, biting and licking. “I’m cumming!” Jaehyun had started rubbing your clit with his thumb, rubbing and circling it. Your stomach tightens and you feel the overwhelming pleasure starting to wash over you. “Fuck!” You scream as your orgasm comes full circle that has you writhing and your hips jerking.

 Jaehyun fucks you through your orgasm, trapping your nipple in his mouth so it doesn’t slip out of his mouth as your body shakes and trashes. “Your pussy is so fucking tight and I can’t imagine what it feels like to fuck you with my cock.” He whispers against you neck, eventually slowing the pace of his dildo and eventually pulls it out of you, letting you calm down form your high. He takes this chance to kiss you, deep. He pulls you to your side, making you face him. He watches you smile, still in the aftereffects of your orgasm. It was definitely a while since you came and definitely a while since you got a good one too.

 “Fuck me with your real cock now?” You smirk at him, palming his hard cock straining to escape the confines of his sweatpants that had a big wet spot already.

 “Best birthday ever.” He grins.