#this took me like TWO GD DAYS

[chloe-petrichors]

cradling constellations // jace x reader

when rhaenyra brings her family to court to celebrate the king's fiftieth name day, there was but one thing on your mind: getting to see jace, the boy you'd loved in secret, once more.

whatever our souls are made of, his and mine are the same. —emily brontë

fandom; house of the dragon pairing; jacaerys velaryon x f!aunt!reader (no use of y/n) warnings; canon-typical incest, canon-au (it's viserys' birthday party baby), altered timeline (jace and reader are in their 20s) idiots in love, instant attraction/love at first (second) sight, childhood sweethearts (kinda?), soulmate vibes, love confessions, switching povs, smut (mdni !) including masturbation (m), p in v, fingering, oral (f receiving), implied loss of virginity, unprotected sex, mild marriage kink if that’s even a thing, body worship, dirty talk, praise kink, multiple orgasms, mild overstimulation, soft dom vibes, jace being a tits man. word count; 15k+ (oops) notes; me, obsessed with jace? more likely than u think. this whole fic spawned from the fact that i noticed jace's freckles on a gif and lost my gd mind. this was meant to be a quick smut fic. and then i took 11k+ words to get to the smut part. i'm sorry (i'm not). this is totally self-indulgent, soulmates, love at first sight kinda fluff-to-smut and i regret nothing. way too much time of writing this was me trawling through the asoiaf wiki pages to find details that are relevant for one whole sentence. why am i this way. valyrian is pulled straight from a translator i found online, pls let me know if you notice any errors! requests; are open !

the first time you laid eyes on jacaerys velaryon, you knew he was something special.

you had just been children, then, uncertain of each other due to the discontent between your families. but he had been kind to you, dark eyes warm, and it had been an easy thing to be kind in return. your brothers make it difficult, of course, as they seem to do with everything they get involved in. aegon had been the worst at first, spouting off the same vitriol your mother had always whispered into your ears, but aemond had not been far behind him.

after the events of laena’s funeral and the loss of aemond’s eye, the hostilities only grow and grow. helaena keeps herself apart from most of it by virtue of her typically distant manner, but your brothers insist on drawing you into the same arguments again and again. it's tedious, laborious, but they are your family.

jace and luke are too, of course, not that anyone else seems to want to admit it. for all that they are velaryon’s by name (and strong in heart, mayhaps, yes), they are your nephews. your brothers only seem interested in remembering this when it serves them, however — which is usually when they’re lording it over the dark-haired boys.

in truth, the velaryon’s are hardly innocent either. it seems like the two sets of boys bring out the absolute worse in each other without fail, and it’s usually left to you to try and be the voice of reason.

away from your brothers’ taunts, jace is like a different boy entirely. endlessly curious and ceaselessly kind, the brunette seems to always have time to talk and jape with you. your friendship grows surprisingly easy as children, and with early adulthood comes the bloom of a different kind of affection, too. you never say anything, knowing all too well that if your brothers catch even a whisper of your feelings that there will be no end of hells to pay.

it matters little, regardless. your mother will never tolerate a betrothal between the two of you and you know better than to even attempt to broach such a topic. it had been sheer miracle that she hadn’t tried marrying you off to aemond after securing aegon and helaena’s marriage, and you aren’t willing to tempt fate by giving her ideas now. so what if you spend countless nights dreaming of freckled skin and dark hair? it matters not in the scheme of things.

rhaenyra flees kings landing after daemon’s return to westeros, leaving you feeling strangely bereft without your nephews’ company. years go by with no contact from your sister’s family, and so you let your old daydreams fall to the wayside. there’s no use dwelling on what you can’t have, and no point bringing it up since even now just a mention of luke or jace is enough to inflame aemond’s temper.

and then, of course, the news comes that rhaenyra is returning to court for the king’s fiftieth name day. there are great feasts and celebrations planned in honour of your father, which you privately think silly considering it’s unlikely he would be well enough to attend half the festivities. still, there’s no denying your excitement at the idea of seeing jace again. he would be a man grown, now, his twentieth name day having passed only a few moons ago.

for once the majority of your family will be under one roof, and you are certain it will end in disaster — but you intend to enjoy it while you can.

going flying the morning of the velaryons arrival is perhaps not your smartest idea. 

your nerves wake you well before dawn. you feel as if you’re going to crawl out of your skin if you don’t do something, and you know your chances for flying will be limited with the celebrations expected to start tomorrow. so you decided to take the chance while you can, dressing quickly in your riding gear before creeping to the dragon pit well before any of your family wake.

silverwing likes it when you take her for unexpected flights, so she makes no complaint when you have the dragon keepers release her. you go through the motions of saddling her yourself, as you always do, taking the chance to reinforce the bond with your dragon.

silverwing hadn’t been your hatched dragon. the egg that you had slept beside as a babe had never hatched, just as aemond’s and helaena’s hadn’t. it had infuriated aemond when you were children, that jace and luke’s dragons hatched while he was left without. it had made him an easy target for the other boys; aegon had often led the others in riling him about his lack of dragon until he had claimed vhagar. you can admit now that the others had oft been cruel to him in their japing, and it had ended poorly for everyone involved.

your claiming of silverwing had been incredibly boring in comparison. she had found you, in truth, a year after aemond claimed vhagar. she’d been your great-grandmother the good queen alysanne’s dragon before your own, and had not taken a rider since the queen’s death. she’d flown from the dragonmont to find you, and you’ve been nigh on inseparable since. your mother despairs over it, hating how her often her ‘perfect daughter’ has shown up to court late with windswept hair and flushed cheeks.

but, to you, flying is freedom.

there’s nothing else like it in the world; the sensation of silverwing beneath you, the seven kingdoms at your fingertips, and only the sky above. your mother has never really let go of her fear of the dragons, and you can understand it in a way; she is no targaryen, and she’ll never know what it is to bond with a dragon, to have that presence so alien and yet so familiar nudging against the corners of your mind. any attempts to explain it to her are met with bemusement and wariness, and you’d long ago learned to stop bringing it up.

silverwing’s joy to fly merges into your own as you climb atop her, running a soothing hand over the gleaming silver spikes at her neck as you adjust the straps. her impatience thrums loudly through the bond as you settle yourself into the saddle, and you feel her heart beat through you like a second pulse as your own anticipation rises.

“ivestragī īlva sōvegon, ñuha raqiros! [let us fly, my friend!]”

she needs no further nudging than that, and with a delighted roar she launches into the air. your laughter is stolen by the wind as she beats her wings, propelling you higher and higher before sweeping over the towering peaks of the red keep. with a shouted instruction she banks sharply to the left, flying out over blackwater bay as the sun finally crests the horizon. the dark sea lights up with reds and golds beneath you, the sky gloriously blue above, and silverwing’s distinctive scales shine in the breaking dawn.

a glorious morning, you think, and as the two of you climb higher to the sky you feel all your nerves and excitement for anything but the flight leave you. this is what your mother will never understand; flying is an escape, yes, but not from your duties as she assumes it is. this is an escape from your worries, from the petty machinations of court. in the sky with your dragon, you need worry only about how chill the wind will be, or if aemond is out with vhagar, who’s a grumpy old beast at the best of times and silverwing is feeling mischievous.

you find peace, here, in the sky. this is what you were born for.

long minutes pass as you fly leisurely, circling over the bay and the keep and back again in ever widening circles. sometimes silverwing dives just to do so, plunging so close to the blackwater that you could reach out and skim your hand over the dark depths. you lose track of time as the two of you fly, contentment bleeding across the bond so completely you can’t even tell which one of you it’s coming from.

a dragon’s cry in the distance catches your attention, and silverwing pulls up from where she’d been ducking her head into the water to snatch fish. she propels you rapidly higher into the air, crying out in response as you break through the thin cloud cover. you expect to find aegon’s dragon; sunfyre is the only dragon silverwing likes, rather than tolerates, to be making such a noise in greeting.

but it’s an unfamiliar dragon that greets you, olive green scales shining with the damp from the high altitudes. your mind races as you struggle to place it, and it’s only when you catch sight of a head of dark curls astride the dragon that you realise who it is.

vermax.

and jacaerys.

your heart skips in your chest, silverwing’s unexpected excitement tangling with your own nerves as she swoops towards the much smaller dragon. it’s only her sheer happiness that stops you from panicking or shouting a command to halt in valyrian, and moments later you recall she’d have known vermax from her time on dragonstone.

she somersaults over and around vermax playfully, and you release an exhilarated laugh in response as you cling tightly to the saddle. you see only snatches of jace as your dragons fly complicated patterns around each other, but the quick flashes you do get find an easy smile on his face.

the dragons spend a long while flying together, racing and diving and spiralling to new heights. they move so quickly that you have no chance to try and greet jacaerys, can offer nothing more than quick smiles as you pass him. it gives you the time for your nerves to settle back down, time to reassure yourself that any childhood feelings are long faded and that you will be able to act perfectly composed when it is time to greet him.

eventually you realise your dragon is not going to land until you tell her too, and vermax is clearly just as willing to chase after the larger she-dragon for as long as she is willing to be chased.

“māzigon, silverwing. istiti tegun [come, silverwing. we must land],” you shout, laughing again when the dragon whines her displeasure. she listens regardless, soaring down in tightening circles with vermax following close on your tail. her landing in the dragon pit is far from smooth, but you’re well used to compensating for the jostling as she settles onto the ground once more.

you’re quick in freeing yourself from the saddle, murmuring warm thanks and praise to your dragon as you walk to the side of her great head to meet a single burning eye. “kirimvose, ñuha raqiros. kesi sōvegon arlī aderī [thank you, my friend. we will fly again soon],” you tell her, and she responds with a content grumble as she nudges her head gently against your chest in affection.

you leave the dragon keepers to return her to her cave, instead turning to watch as jace shares his own goodbyes with his dragon. you take the chance to look at him, properly look, and find yourself suddenly warring with self-consciousness and a burning in your chest.

despite the acrobatics of the dragons, he looks perfectly put together with his dark curls brushing his shoulders and a pleasing tan to his skin. you fear you must look a ruin, with your hair undoubtedly a mess and cheeks flushed from the cold bite of the wind. your breath is still a touch laboured from the exertion of the flight, while he looks perfectly composed in his fancy black and red doublet. you curse the old gods and the new that you’d picked out your old riding gear this morning — comfortable, yes, but certainly not ideal for greeting the heir to the heir and the man you’d once daydreamed about marrying.

you push the thoughts away with determined stubbornness, refusing to dwell on the warmth in your chest when jace finally turns to look at you. he’s grown, you note immediately, now standing at least a head taller than you. any traces of baby fat have left him, leaving behind a strong, square jaw and strong yet slim shoulders. his dark eyes are warm, though, and his smile friendly as he takes you in.

you dip instinctually into a curtsey, a perfectly respectable greeting ready on your lips, but you’re startled into straightening back to standing when jace laughs.

“come now, princess,” he says, fond and teasing he approaches you. he’s the only one who’s ever been able to make the title sound more like an endearment. “since when have we been ones for formality?”

it sets you at ease immediately, tension relaxing from your shoulders as you beam at him. “i suppose we never have been very good at that, have we?” you let your eyes skip over him again, something like relief settling in your bones at the sight of him. “it’s good to see you again, jace.”

“aye,” he returns, dark eyes sparkling. “it is good to see you, indeed.”

for a long moment he simply looks at you, and it makes that peculiar warmth in your chest blaze a little brighter. there’s something in his face that you’ve never seen there before — but then you think of course there is. you haven’t seen him in so long there’s probably all kinds of things about you him you no longer know. it aches, almost, to think it, but in a way he’s a stranger to you; a man with the kind eyes of the boy you’d loved in secret, once.

you clear your throat as you drop your eyes from his stare, glancing at the bustling keepers as they tend to your dragons instead as you cast about for something to say.

“are the rest of your family not flying in?” you query after a moment.

he shakes his head, dark curls swaying with the movement. “no, arrax and tyraxes are still too small to fly luke and joff for such a journey, and mother would rather stay with my brothers on the ship.”

you nod in acceptance, shifting slightly on the spot. “well then, let me be the first to welcome you back to king’s landing, my prince.” you take the formality out of your tone with a playful wink, and are gratified to see the way he chuckles at your antics.

“i had hoped you’d be the first i’d see.” he admits this casually, as if this doesn’t set your heart and mind racing. “i have missed you, aunt.”

you duck your head again to try and hide the smile spreading across your face. you tell yourself sternly to stop acting like some lovesick child, all the while that small flame continues to burn away inside of you. “and i you, nephew.” you glance up at him shyly from beneath your lashes, teeth worrying at your bottom lip, and you don’t miss the way his eyes track the movement.

he’s the one to clear his throat, this time, stepping a half-pace away from you and gesturing for you to proceed him. “shall we head to the keep, then? my mother’s ship should have arrived by now and we wouldn’t want to miss the formal welcome.”

“as you say,” you agree, and the two of you set off.

you spend the long walk to the keep catching up on the long years between you. you’d expected the time apart to be like a gulf between you, a canyon that could not be crossed, but if anything it’s the opposite. it’s as if you’d last seen each other only hours ago. it should startle you, how simple it feels to fall into your old friendship, but you don’t have it in you to be surprised. that’s always been the thing with jace, after all — it’s easy. being around him, speaking to him, listening to his odd tangents. it all comes as natural to you as breathing, as if there’s a part of you that was just born knowing him.

he's dodging your questions as you finally arrive at the keep, having let slip something about an old secret from the days of your childhood that he’s never shared with you. it makes something flutter in your chest, the way he looks at you as he says it. the way he’s looked at you the whole time, in fact, has you having to bite back a smile. he looks at you as if he is looking at something precious, expression tender and fond and uncomplicated. it threatens to steal your breath again, and so you make an effort to try and act as unaffected as possible, because he cannot mean it in the way you think you might want him too.

“oh, but you simply must tell me!” you wheedle cheerfully, a mischievous smile on your lips. “you wouldn’t keep a secret from me, would you, my prince?”

you pout at him, fluttering your lashes in the way you usually do when trying to get your way with your brothers. jace swallows audibly at the sight, some emotion you can’t read flickering across his eyes as his gaze drops to your mouth and then lower again before returning to your eyes. something in his expression makes you flush, cheeks burning as your lips part slowly. a heat rises in you, unbidden, as he steps ever so slightly closer into your space. you’re overwhelmed with the smell of him; sea salt and dragon smoke and something almost woodsy underneath it, something entirely jace.

he murmurs your name so quietly you almost miss it over the sounds of courtyard. his hand twitches as if to reach for you as he ducks his head slightly, and you think if you lifted yours just so you’d be able to brush your lips over the strong line of his jaw. you realise suddenly how much you want to — how much you want to drag your tongue over his skin and taste.

oh.

oh.

you want him. that peculiar feeling that had been burning in your chest — you recognise the desire for what it is, now. the easy camaraderie that you’d fell into on the walk to the keep subsides in the wake of it, and abruptly all you can think of is what his mouth will feel like on your own. the palpable tension between you makes your hands tremble with the urge to touch, heart pounding so loudly in your ears it drowns out anything that isn’t him as the rest of the courtyard fades away.

you sway the barest inch closer, inhaling his scent deeply, and watch as jace’s nostrils flare in response. with a shaky breath you lift your chin, eyes dropping to his parted lips, and you bite your bottom lip as his tongue sweeps over his own.

“jace…”

“brother! there you are!”

luke’s voice startles you both back to reality as you spring apart. you hadn’t realised just how close you’d gotten, your chests almost brushing with every breath, until the gap between you widens. you drop your eyes to your feet, cheeks blazing with embarrassment as you realise how close you’d come to kissing him in an extremely public place. you chide yourself internally for forgetting yourself, and take another second to gather your composure before lifting your head with a smile.

“hello, nephew,” you greet luke warmly, doing your best to ignore the way jace’s eyes burns into the side of your face. “it is very good to see you again.”

“aunt!” luke fairly cheers, and you note how the youth still clings to his face. while certainly older than the last time you’d seen him, he still seems like a child to you. his limbs are long and gangly, in that awkward stage at the cusp of adulthood where he’s not quite grown into himself yet. he bounds closer, drawing you into a hug that you allow and return with a fond laugh.

“luke, honestly,” jace tuts, shaking his head as the two of you separate. “we’re at court, now. at least try to remember your manners.”

the younger boy winces. “ah, right, yes.” he sketches a quick but perfect bow your way. “it is a great honour to see you once more, princess.” he flashes a cheeky smile and a wink your way as he straightens out, and you press your hand to your mouth to smother a giggle at the exasperated look on jace’s face at his brother’s antics. he’s hardly one to talk, you think, considering how quickly he had dispensed with manners when greeting you.

in return, you dip into a practiced if impish curtsey. “it is a sincere pleasure to see you as well, prince lucerys.”

luke does giggle, then, as jace rolls his eyes so hard you think they’re at risk of falling out of his head. despite his dramatics, you spot the smile twitching at the corner of his mouth as he watches you jape with his brother.

“the queen is looking for you, dear aunt,” luke says after the greetings are done, and your amusement flees you as your stomach drops.

it’s only then you realise that with both luke and jace being here, you’ve certainly missed the official welcome of princess rhaenyra back to court. you wince at the thought of your mother’s ire, resigning yourself to a long lecture about your responsibilities and how dragon riding is ‘not one of them’. jace catches your expression, concern creasing his face as his brows furrow.

“alright?” he checks, and you do your best to offer him a reassuring smile.

“yes, i’m sure all will be well.” you hesitate a moment before offering a one-shouldered shrug, ignoring the voice in your head that sounds far too much like your mother telling you how unladylike such a motion is. “i expect my mother will be displeased with me for missing the official welcome, but the festivities will surely distract her quick enough.”

luke and jace both offer you a commiserating smile as the three of you head into the keep. you expect your mother will be waiting in her solar, which is on a close route to the guest suites set aside for the visiting royals, and so you walk with the velaryons as far as you can. when it comes time to part, jace lingers at the entry of the hall as luke continues down the corridor. his dark eyes are fixed to yours so intensely it steals your breath as you slow to a stop as well.

“i’ll see you at the feast,” he says quietly, capturing your hand in his much larger one and bringing it to his mouth. your breath hitches in your chest, eyes widening as he brushes his lips tenderly over your knuckles. your lips part in surprise, tingles racing up your arm from where his mouth makes contact with your skin. before you have chance to respond, jace dips into a sweeping bow and then bids you farewell, leaving you staring after him for a long moment.

well. if your mother doesn’t kill you, you think jace certainly will.

jace sinks into the hot water of the bath with a deep sigh of relief.

after meeting with his mother to explain why he’d been late to the formal greetings — or, rather, offer excuses as to why he’d been late, since he doesn’t think his mother will take well to the idea he was so busy enjoying himself flying with you that the thought of any formal welcome party left his mind entirely — he’d sought his chambers. the bath had been ready and waiting for him, tendrils of steam wafting from the clear water, and he’d wasted no time in shedding his clothes. he’s keen to wash the dragon stink from his skin before the feast, and he makes quick work of scrubbing his skin clean. when he’s done, he allows himself to relax against the metal of the tub, arms draped carelessly over the metal rim as he soaks.

king’s landing from dragonstone is not too long a journey on dragon back, but flying for such a stretch causes its own particular aches. vermax had enjoyed the chance to stretch his wings, at least, and had enjoyed the playful flight with silverwing even more.

he can admit to himself he’d enjoyed it, too, the sight of you astride your dragon lighting something within him. it’s been so long since he’d seen you, not since the aftermath of laena’s funeral, and he hadn’t been prepared for how the sight of you — breathless and flush and beaming at him — would make him feel. he’d almost managed to push back his boyhood adoration and childhood daydreams of marrying you one day with the years passing, but seeing you again brings it all rushing back and he feels as hopelessly enamoured with you now as he did as a child.

you’ve grown well, there’s no denying that. where childhood had left you sometimes awkward and gangly, you’ve become a woman grown now with all the curves and delights that come with it. he’d been embarrassed at how hard it had been to pull his gaze from you on the trip to the keep, but you’d not seemed to notice. too occupied with filling the air between you with light chatter, you’d been oblivious to the way his eyes had dragged over your form again and again.

you just — you’re so unlike anyone else he knows. he’d let himself forget how lovely you were, but there was no way to ignore it now. riding the high of your flight and genuinely happy to see him, you’d been like something out of a dream. your face had been as open to him as ever, plainly delighted to see him, and seeing you had eased some ache he’d become so used to he’d not even know it was there until he felt the lack of it.

he’s not some foolish child. he knows better than to think of things like love when his head must lie with his duty. but the thought remains regardless, lingering in the back of his mind that you would be as easy to love now as you had been when you were younger. it had been a childish love then, of course; innocent and sweet in the ways only children could be. but it had been there, unspoken and unacted upon, but no less real for it.

you’re not children anymore. it would be impossible to think otherwise with the way your riding gear had clung flatteringly to your chest and hips. your mouth looked so pretty stretched into a smile, a smile for him, and he thinks it’s a testament to his restraint that he’d not kissed you on the spot when you’d pouted so prettily up at him. he’d thought for a fleeting moment that perhaps you were going to kiss him with the way your eyes had darkened, how you’d gravitated into his space as if without intention.

heat pools in his stomach as he thinks about how the neckline of your riding dress had cut low enough to allow him a peak at your chest, heaving as you struggled to catch your breath. he wonders what your mouth would taste like, what noises you would make if he’d slid his tongue against your own. gods, he feels like a green boy seeing a woman for the first time — almost undone at just the thought of you. he won’t be able to get through the welcome feast like this, he thinks, so on edge with his lust for you burning him from the inside out.

it’s not even a conscious choice to curl his fingers around his cock, half-hard already as he thinks of you. jace’s head tips back against the rim of the bath, eyes drifting closed as a quiet gasp escapes him. the warm water eases his way as he strokes himself, and he lets himself imagine it’s your slick, instead.

he pictures you before him, pretends it’s your hand teasing at the skin at the head of his cock. your hands are so small, so dainty, he thinks you probably wouldn’t be able to wrap them all the way around him. he imagines they’re a little calloused — soft, mostly, but with the fingertips just rough enough from years spent riding and caring for your dragon. they’d drag so deliciously against his skin, and you’d take to the task with the same voracious enthusiasm you do with everything else. you’d watch him closely, pick up on the cues of his pleasure, and he’d unravel for you so quickly it’d be embarrassing if it was anyone else.

“fuck,” he hisses out, thumb dragging over the liquid leaking copiously from his tip. his head tips back even further, water dripping from his curls onto the stone floor as he chases his release. his imagining splinters into disconnected fantasies; you, on your knees with your mouth stretched around him, lashes damp with reflexive tears as your eyes fix on his. you, sprawled beneath him and writhing as he feasts on your cunt like a man starved. you, babbling in high valyrian as he sinks into the tight wet heat of you. you, clenching and shuddering around his cock as you come for him, blazing and beautiful. you, you, you.

his release hits him hard, a low groan tearing from his throat as his hips thrust up into his hand as he drags out those last few moments of pleasure. his panting breaths sound loud in the silence of his chambers, and jace is suddenly acutely aware of the fact that he is alone. there is, of course, no trace of you.

he knows in that moment he has to have you. he cannot tolerate the thought of anyone else — not for himself, and certainly not for you. he wants you as his wife, his queen, the mother of his children. jace doesn’t care how he must do it — as long as you’re as willing as he is, he is going to make you his.

the feast has started by the time jace arrives.

his indulgence had cost him time, and then he’d spent longer than usual readying himself while trying to ignore the fact he was doing so only to impress you. by the time he makes it to the hall his family are already seated and the minstrels are playing a jaunty tune. his eyes seek you instantly, and he resists the urge to frown in disappointment as he sees you sat between helaena and aemond. he’d hoped to sit beside you and use this time to see if there was any hint of you returning his feelings. no matter — there would be time enough later. if he has his way, there’ll be all the time in the world.

you look beautiful, he notes. you’re dressed in your usual deep green, the gown cut flatteringly for your shape. your face is animated and happy as you chat to aemond, and though he finds the idea of anyone enjoying that grumpy prick’s presence bizarre, he enjoys the sight of you so at ease.  

as he approaches the head table and the empty seat between his mother and luke, your eyes linger on him. he’s gratified by the way you light up when you spot him, offering him a warm smile in welcome for all that you’re quickly entangled into a conversation with your sister. it eases some of the sting at finding you unavailable, and he’s helpless but to smile back at you even when your gaze slides back to helaena.

luke eyes him strangely as he settles into his seat but says nothing as jace reaches for a goblet of wine. his mother greets him absently, entangled as she is in conversation with the king, and he takes the moment to glance out at the hall.

it’s a relatively small feast. large enough to not cause offence to the heir to the throne, but not so grand as to detract from the festivities planned for the next fortnight. he recognises a few faces in the crowd, people from different houses from across the kingdoms. the king’s birthday celebrations are no small affair, and he spots representatives from all the great houses as well as some of the more minor ones.

it makes him want to slump in his seat, for all that he keeps his posture straight. he knows the next few weeks will be full of politicking and double speak, and it grates. as the heir to the heir, jace knows it’s partially his responsibility to ensure their alliances still stand while seeking out any news one that might present themselves. he has no doubt that some of the lords in this crowd will have brought their daughters, planning to parade them in front of him and his brothers in hopes they might pick one as their betrothed.

his lack of betrothal has been a point of contention for many of the court, he knows. most had assumed he would be betrothed to his stepsister baela, and he’d thought the same for years. it was only when his mother had confided that baela had no interest in being queen and, in fact, was so strongly opposed to the idea that she swore to fly to essos and never be seen again if they tried marrying her to him that he realised just why such a betrothal had never been announced.

it had left him free, in a way, to pursue his own desires; without a betrothal attached to him he’d shed any guilt about seeking company at the pleasure houses. but, in turn, it had left him open to the machinations of the other houses who all sought to have their blood on the iron throne. it’s incredibly tedious, but he knows he must grin and bear it for the sake of his mother and his house.

the food arrives then, and he busies himself with the meal and talking to his siblings. his grandsire makes a speech welcoming his daughter and her family home, and jace notes the sour faces of alicent’s sons. they keep their tongues, at least, which shows a maturity from them he truthfully hadn’t expected. perhaps they’ve grown just as you have, he thinks, but dismisses the thought when aemond catches his eye and only sneers in response to jace’s tentative smile.

he's often wondered at the conflict between the two sides of the family. the animosity now he can pinpoint, of course; aemond losing his eye. but there had been years before that of tense, standoffish behaviour interspersed with camaraderie when everyone seemed to forget they weren’t meant to be friends. he remembers playing pranks with aegon while luke trailed after them, and he remembers sitting with helaena while she perused the dirt for bugs.

he remembers you, most of all. kind and fearless and smart, you’d enamoured him from the moment he was old enough to recognise girls were different to boys in interesting ways. even before then you’d been fast friends, something in your similarly mischievous behaviour drawing you into each other’s orbit. he’s always been drawn to you, he thinks, to the uncomplicated joy you took in your life. there was so much to be miserable about, so much duty on all your shoulders, but you always found something to smile over. your unfailing optimism would no doubt be irritating to some, but to him it has always been one of his favourite things about you.

his gaze, predictably, shifts to you. he startles to find you looking at him already. you flush immediately as your eyes lock, presumably embarrassed at being caught, and he enjoys the colour it brings to your cheeks. you don’t drop his stare, though, not until helaena says something to draw your attention back to her once again. he catches sight of a private little quirk of your lips as your head turns, and something like satisfaction settles in his chest as he hides his own smile in his goblet.

perhaps this feast won’t be as tedious as he’d feared.

“are you enjoying the festivities, princess?”

jace’s voice pulls you from where you’ve been staring into your wine as if it holds all the secrets of the world. you’ve lost count of how many goblets you’ve had, chattering away with your siblings before aegon had started to become cruel in his inebriation and you’d all opted to split apart through the hall. you glance up to find the velaryon prince standing before you, hands perched loosely on the hilt of his sword. he looks unfairly handsome, you think, with his tumble of curls and well-fitted doublet, and something about the slight smirk on his face makes you think he knows it.

“i am enjoying them well enough,” you allow, flicking your gaze from his to look out at the dance floor. aemond is dancing with helaena, aegon far too deep into his cups to bother thinking of his wife. your mother is as tense as she has been since you’d found her earlier; her stepdaughter’s arrival to court has set her incredibly on edge, and the lecture she’d given you earlier had certainly been one of her worst. and your father is oblivious to it all, simply too pleased at the presence of his favoured daughter to care about the way the rest of his family are fracturing apart.

he's not been a good father to you, the king. he’s called you and helaena rhaenyra more than once over the years, and even when his eyes are you on you, you never feel like it’s you he sees. your mother had tried to soothe the ache of his absence, of his blatant favour for a woman who was not here, but as the years stretched on even she had seemed to fade further and further away from you all. for so long it’s just been the four of you, clinging to each other and tearing each other apart in equal measure. you’ve oft thought that daeron is the luckiest of you, able to thrive at the hightower and away from the mess of your family.

you pause at the maudlin turn of your thoughts, peering contemplatively into your wine again before offering jace a slightly sheepish smile. “i… fear i may have indulged in too much wine,” you admit, startling a laugh from the darkhaired prince.

it’s aegon’s fault, you decide; before he’d gotten belligerently drunk he’d been so cheerful, seemingly pleased to have the pressure of being the eldest targaryen child in court off of his shoulders. in his cheer he had plied you with wine, laughing and japing with an arm over your shoulder as you reminisced on simpler times of your childhood. happy to see him so, you’d not resisted, but now you find yourself regretting those choices as your thoughts tumble sluggishly through your mind.

jace shakes his head fondly at you, reaching out to carefully steal your goblet away. his fingers brush against yours as he does so, the barest of touches and yet enough to set your heart racing as you blink slowly up at him. he sips from your wine deliberately, amber eyes darkening as he holds your stare, and your lips part with an unsteady breath. something about him drinking your wine from your cup has your stomach fluttering pleasantly.

gods, i want him.

the thought is enough to startle you, heat suffusing your cheeks as you avert your gaze. jace doesn’t, though, and you can feel the weight of his stare on you like a tangible thing. it makes your skin prickle with warmth, and you lurch a touch unsteadily to your feet before you can say anything silly like ‘kiss me, please’.

“i think i should retire to my chambers before i make a drunken fool of myself,” you announce, fingers smoothing over the green velvet of your dress.

“i’ll escort you,” jace returns, tone leaving no room for argument.

he sets aside the wine and offers you his arm, quirking an eyebrow as if in challenge. you hesitate for barely a second, taking a steadying breath, before looping your arm through his and allowing him to lead you through the crowd towards the open doors. the woodsy smell of him you’d noticed before is clearer, now, and you take another deep breath of the scent. it calms your nerves and yet inflames your desire, and your fingers tighten infinitesimally against his bicep.

you stop at the doors of the feasting chamber for long enough to let ser erryk know that you’re retiring for the evening, leaving it to him to pass the message on to your mother, and then you and jace are alone in the halls of the keep.

of course, you’re not truly alone. guards litter the corridors and even at this late hour servants bustle along, busy with their chores. but in the quiet of the keep as jace leads you to your rooms, you can almost imagine yourself alone with him. the thought threatens to overwhelm you, mad fantasies of him tugging you into a dark alcove to devour you flashing through your mind, and you scold yourself internally.

you’re really very cross with aegon. he and his wine have left you in this state, too far into your cups to keep control of your dangerous wonderings. if only he had not kept calling for more of that gods-be-damned arbor gold, you’d have been able to keep your wits about you. you’d wanted to dance at the feast, too, mayhaps even with jacaerys but at the very least with your brothers. instead, you’re being led back to your rooms like a child who’s had their first taste of wine with dinner and let it go to their head.

jace’s presence helps your intoxication little. seeing him again, touching him, smelling him — it’s all too much when all your defences are down like this. you feel like a girl again, staring breathlessly after him and so full of certainty that you love him, and it’s just— ridiculous. you’ve spent mere hours in his presence and you’re like some lovelorn idiot with no thought in your mind beyond being as close to him as is possible. it’s foolish, reckless, absurd. but it’s there, regardless, unfurling in your chest with a lovely kind of agony.

you keep quiet on the walk, too afraid that if you open your mouth you’ll beg him to have his way with you or, worse, confess your re-blooming infatuation for him, and jace seems content enough to walk in silence for a while. eventually, though, he speaks.

“i don’t think i’ve ever seen you drunk before,” he observes, tone light.

you glance at him sidelong, pursing your lips at the teasing smirk curling on his mouth. “it’s aegon’s doing,” you tell him solemnly. “my brother is something of an expert on the subject of wines, and his tolerance is… much higher than mine own.”

jace snorts. “aye, i had noticed.”

you lapse into silence, again, only now you find yourself stealing glances at him. he really is very pretty, you think, though in quite a masculine way. something about the sharp line of his jaw and the curl of his eyelashes keeps drawing your attention, and you suspect you are not being subtle with your admiration in your inebriated state. as you walk by an open window moonlight floods into the hall, sending jace’s profile into sharp relief, and your eyes catch on the smattering of freckles on his smooth skin. something about the pattern makes you think of the stars, and you realise too late that your quick glances have turned to a lingering stare.

“is there something on my face, princess?”

jace’s mockingly innocent words draw your eyes to his. he’s smirking down at you, eyes dancing with amusement, and your cheeks flush. gods, you don’t think you’ve blushed so much in moons compared to the mere hours you’ve spent in his company. the things this man is doing to you — it is unconscionable. you don’t know how much more of this you can take before your resolve breaks.

“i apologise, my prince,” your respond after a beat, teeth biting at your lip. “i did not mean to… i was leagues away.”

his eyes darken, mischief fleeing them in favour of flickers of something else as they linger on your mouth, and that damnable heat in your stomach blazes. you want desperately to surge forward and kiss him, or for him to take you in his hands and kiss you. you just want, and ache, and burn. and it’s too much, far too much for your wine-addled brain to process, but you know if anyone was to happen upon you in this corridor, starting at him with your mouth parted and your breaths shuddering through your lungs, there will be consequences.

“we should— we are almost at my chambers.” your words are stumbling, loud in the sudden quiet that had descended over the pair of you, and jace startles a little, eyes darting away from yours as your stomach plummets. gods, what are you doing? staring at him in such a way? he must think you a simple-minded fool, gaping at him for the sake of a few freckles. you step away from him, rubbing your arm as you turn your eyes to stare intently at your feet instead. “i can make it the rest of the way from here. you should return to the feast.”

jace is quiet for a long moment and you peek up at him to see him watching you with an indecipherable expression for a charged breath before nodding slowly and taking a step away.

“as you wish,” he murmurs, ducking his head in a simple bow. “sweet dreams, princess.”

you stutter out your own farewell, half-convinced you’ll be dreaming of nothing but his hands and his mouth this night, before turning and all but fleeing down the hall.

oh, yes. jacaerys is certainly going to be the death of you.

jace spends the next few days at court so entangled in his responsibilities he feels he barely sets eyes upon you.

he and his mother are roped into starting the celebrations in the absence of the king himself. his grandsire’s health is failing, of that there is no doubt, and after enjoying himself a touch too heartily at the welcome feast he requires a few days to recover. he thinks perhaps that’s why these festivities are so important; it’s unlikely the king will make it to his five and fiftieth name day, and almost certainly not his sixtieth. it leaves him with… complicated feelings.

when his grandsire dies, he will no longer be the heir to the heir, but the heir to the iron throne itself. it’s a daunting thought; for all that his mother has seen him well prepared to sit his throne one day, it feels such an impossible task. he doesn’t understand how he’s ever supposed to be ready for such a thing.

the thought rises, unbidden, that it would be easier with you by his side. with your kind heart but sharp mind, you’d make a fine queen. he finds himself daydreaming of it still and scolding himself all the while for acting the green boy, and yet unable to stop. it’s as if his every thought leads back to you in some way or another — he sees a flower and wonders if you’d like the smell of it, or sees a dress and thinks of how much lovelier it would look on you. at night he indulges in more sensual wonderings, and he swears he’s not felt the urge to touch himself so much since he was a boy of five and ten just starting to discover the pleasures the touch of another can bring.

for all that you’d appeared to reject him the night of the welcome feast, he finds himself certain you desire him just as he does you. in fact, he fancies it’s that very desire that had led to you fleeing his company and avoiding him in the days after.

because you are avoiding him.

yes, he is busy with the festivities and you are perhaps equally so. but he does not think it’s busyness that drives you to seek conversation with absolutely anyone else when he looks for your company, and it is not busyness that has you clinging to aemond’s side so fiercely either. you know he won’t approach you when you’re with your brother, knowing how it hurts you to see them trade barbs and knowing himself well enough to know he will not be able to bite back his rancour if aemond says a word about his father.

jace is not an idiot. he knows what people say about him, the words they barely bother to whisper behind their hands about who his true sire is. he has complicated feelings about that, too, but it all boils down to one simple thing: he is his mother’s son. she is heir to the king, and he is her heir. for him, that’s all that can matter.

he knows it’s all that matters to you, too. for all that your brothers had spit bastard at him for as long as he can remember, you’ve never done so. you’ve never looked at him differently for the rumours of his birth, and it’s just one thing among many he treasures about you.

perhaps it’s foolish, to cling to these childhood feelings so tightly, but he cannot let the idea of the two of you together go. he knows luke has noticed how he stares after you in longing, since his brother has never been shy about teasing him relentlessly. he thinks his mother has noticed, too, from the few carefully inane comments she’s made about betrothals and duty. 

he supposes an argument could be made for the fact that with the years without contact between you, he doesn’t really know you anymore, not as he once did, but he doesn’t feel it matters. he can learn anything new about you and will in fact do so joyfully, but the important things? the things that speak to who you are at your core? jace has always known those, has always felt connected to you in a way he never has with another, and he loves you now just as he did as a boy. 

it would be easier in a way if he felt sure you didn’t reciprocate his feelings. at least then he could try and move on from them, put to bed his endless wonderings of you. but for as often as he turns his head to look at you, he finds you looking away from your own watching of him. the few, brief interactions he has with you over the next few days feel loaded, the desire and affection between you a palpable thing, and he’s tiring of pretending there’s nothing there anymore.

he’s tired of pretending he doesn’t miss you.

so, at the halfway point of the celebrations when there’s another, larger feast held with plenty of chances for dancing and sneaking away into dark corners, he makes it a point to keep an eye on you. the moment he spots you, finally alone, he beelines for you. your attention is on your necklace, readjusting the pendant that rests on your chest, and he cannot help but let his gaze linger on the swell of your breasts as he approaches. he’s found himself staring at your chest more often than is wholly appropriate over the last few days, but then he knows his own weaknesses when it comes to a woman’s form.

“p-prince jacaerys,” you greet weakly when you look up from your necklace, hands smoothing over the skirts of your dress. your eyes dart about the room as if seeking a rescue from someone, and he tries not to feel how such a response to his presence stings. “how are you enjoying the feast?”

“well enough,” he returns, echoing the words you’d spoke to him days ago. gods, has it only been days since that conversation? it feels like an age, and he has felt more distant from you in these passing moments than he is in your years apart.

“that is… good.” your fingers twist around each other, teeth catching on your bottom lip, and he has to swallow back the sudden rush of desire to be the one nipping at the pouting flesh.

“would you do me the honour of a dance, princess?”

his request startles you, eyes widening as your fingers drop back to your side in surprise. he thinks for a wild moment that you’ll say no, make some excuse to remove yourself from him, and he feels himself bracing for the rejection. but you hesitate, searching his face, and whatever you find there seems to soften something in you as you nod.

“of course.” you offer him your hand, an unsure smile on your face.

he takes it with relief, trying not to react at the sensation of your hand in his own. he was right in thinking your hands are smooth, but as he leads you to the dance floor and your fingers slide over his palm he feels the drag of callouses as he’d expected. it pulls him back into that heated imagining of before for a moment, and he has to shake his head slightly to keep himself from losing his wits.

you stay quiet as he guides you into position, dainty hand resting on his shoulder as he places his own at your hip. he leads you through the first few steps in quiet, too, taking the moment to enjoy having you in his arms, having you close. but he realises after a silent minute that you’re obviously not going to say anything, and even as he looks beseechingly at you appear to avoid meeting his eyes.

“you’ve been avoiding me,” he speaks lowly, watching you carefully as you stare purposefully at the bridge of his nose instead of his eyes.

your eyes flicker away and back and then away again, fingers tightening around his own as he leads you through the steps of the dance effortlessly. “aye,” you admit quietly. “i have been.”

“why?” he doesn’t mean to sound so desperate nor so accusing, but the quiet hurt that your absence has caused him surges forth before jace can stop it.

you finally meet his gaze, eyes helpless and wanting and aching, and his stomach twists at the sight of your conflicted expression.

“i— jace, i can’t.” your voice cracks with the weight of your emotion and without thinking he pulls you closer, arm wrapping tight around your waist to provide you some semblance of comfort. “i can’t. not here, please.”

wordlessly he alters the steps of the dance, drawing you with precision through the crowd of dancers until you come to one of the balconies. it’s blessedly empty of anyone else, and as soon as you realise it some tension seems to shake loose of you.

you step out of his grip slowly, almost reluctantly, and walk to the railing, palms splaying on the stone. he joins you after the barest hesitation, drinking you in as you stare out at the courtyard and beyond. he notices how tightly you grip the banister, colour leeching from you knuckles with the strength of your grip, and almost without thinking jace rests his hand beside your own, pinkie fingers brushing. the touch seems to release something in you and he hears how your breath shudders before you speak.

“i embarrassed myself on the night of the welcome feast,” you confess miserably. “i drank too much, and the way that i behaved— staring at you in that way— it was not becoming behaviour of a princess, nor of a, a friend. i did not wish to make you uncomfortable again, so i thought it best i keep my distance from you.”

he blinks in surprise. “uncomfortable?” the mere idea of such a thing is maddening. he recalls the sight of you before him, lips parted and oh so kissable as you’d stared at him with such intention it had set him ablaze. how in the name of the gods can you think he found such a thing uncomfortable? “princess, i can assure you, the only feeling i took from your admiration is delight.”

your head snaps around, eyes finally meeting his own again, and he shakes his head in bemusement at the sight of your desperate hope. “truly? you do not jest?”

he resists the urge to chuckle, knowing you’ll take any kind of laughter, no matter how well meaning, poorly. instead he reaches for you, grasps your hands in his own and tries not to bask in the way you lean into him as he steps recklessly into your space. he feels your trembling breaths puff against his jaw as he ducks his head to stare intently into your eyes, and if he were a weaker man jace thinks he’d be on his knees in prostration for you in that very moment.

“surely you must know how i feel for you?” he murmurs, tracking the way the flush in your cheeks travels down your neck and onto your chest with greedy eyes. “how desperately i adore you?”

“jacaerys—.” you huff, shaking your head in denial for all that with every breath you take you sway ever closer to him. “we hardly know each other anymore. i won’t deny there is, is a yearning between us, mayhaps, but you cannot claim to adore me when you know me not. it’s been years since—"

“—do you think time matters?” he talks over you, strong in his conviction that you and he share a bond that transcends time or distance or duty. “that any distance between us could change what i know in my bones? i loved you before i had a name for it. i loved you when we were children and, yes, i love you again now. mayhaps i don’t know your favourite sweet or if you prefer to watch the sun rise or set, but i know you. i know who you are, princess, for all that i might no longer know the rest of it. i know your good heart, your quick mind and i know that i love you.” he hesitates, drinks in the dawning, open wonder on your face, and then adds, “and i think you might love me just the same.”

you sigh out his name sweetly, fingers tangling with his own as he squeezes your hands tenderly. you tilt your chin towards him as your eyes flutter shut. his nose slides against your own as you turn just so to the side, and your mouth is so close. he could kiss you, right now, and he knows that you would not pull away. but he’s too aware of the noise of the feast, the crowd of people that at any moment could find you in a compromising position.

he wants you, gods does he want you, but he will not ruin your reputation, will not sully your virtue for the sake of a stolen kiss on a balcony when he desires no less than forever with you.

“i will not push you,” he murmurs against your lips, breathing the air right from your lungs as he presses his forehead to yours for just a moment. “if you do not want this — if you do not return my feelings — i won’t push you nor pursue you. i hold too great a respect for you for that.” he cradles your jaw, thumb dragging at the corner of your mouth, and he glories in the way you shudder at his touch. with an unsteady breath he separates himself from you, hands clenching into fists at his side in an effort not to immediately reach for you again.

“but if you decide you want me as i want you, that you love me as ardently as i you, then my chambers will be unguarded and unlocked for you.” he sketches a bow, heart thundering in his chest as you stare at him in wordless shock. “i hope to see you later tonight, my princess.”

you have no chance to respond before jace leaves you standing on the balcony.

he leaves you with your mind swirling, one thought after another coming so quickly you have no hope in processing them. you’re glad to be outside, at least, the cool breeze helping soothe the heat that blazes through your veins as you press your hand over your racing heart. you don’t know what to think, what to feel, what to do. all you can think about is jace, earnest and honest and in love with you.

he’s in love with you (!).

it’s too quick. too much time has passed with too little contact. in the years since he left court you’ve grown into new people, people who for all intents and purposes are strangers to each other. the lust is there, there’s no point in denying that with how your body warms at the smallest glance from him. and that old familiarity that blossomed as friendship as children and now into easy companionship as adults, that remains as it always has. and mayhaps you’ve thought to yourself, in the dark quiet of the night, that you’ll surely love him once more. that to know him any better at all is to love him again, because how can you know him and not love him?

but there’s been years and leagues between you for so long. time and distance have their ways of changing a heart, and he might say it doesn’t matter but it does. it does.

only it doesn’t, not at all, because giddiness is bubbling up in you so sudden that you cannot fight it, a helpless laugh escaping you as you press your hand over your mouth in unabashed amazement. your brave prince, plunging headfirst into the long-unspoken feelings between you. it incites you to act, drives you back into the hall where you catch aegon for long enough to tell him you’re retiring for the night before escaping into the quiet corridors.

you feel like your heart is going to burst in your chest, nerves and excitement and awe twisting together inside of you until you feel like you might vibrate out of your own skin. the walk to jace’s chambers is a haze, and in the morning you expect you’ll panic, wonder if anyone saw you walking so shamelessly towards the prince’s rooms. but now, in this moment, all you can think of is how fervently you want him, how guilelessly you love him.

the knock on his door — unguarded, as he had promised — echoes loudly in the silent corridor. you can hear your own heartbeat thundering in your ears as you wait for him to answer, and when he finally does he takes your breath away.

he’s shed his doublet and sword belt, standing in only his breeches and a billowing off-white tunic. the ties are loose on his neck and you’re entranced by the peek of tanned skin there, the freckles you can see disappearing beneath the shirt. he says your name, once, and your eyes snap back to him in time to see the relief and wonder coalesce into smouldering fire.

he curls his fingers around your wrist, thumb swiping over the delicate skin in a way that makes you shiver, and he uses the hold to wordlessly tug you into his chambers. you step into the space, eyes darting from the large bed to the roaring fire and back to the bed again as he locks the doors behind you.

you are finally, blissfully, alone.

you feel his presence behind you, heat and woodsmoke radiating from him as you turn to face him. something in your chest loosens at the blatant awe in his amber eyes, like liquid gold in the light of the flames, and before you can pause to think you’re speaking, your feelings escaping you in a flood.

“i shouldn’t be here,” you say shamelessly. “i know my being here is—. i shouldn’t be here. but i couldn’t not be, jace, not when you left without giving me a chance to tell you how i feel. because, gods, of course i feel for you. it’s unreasonable, insensible— there’s so much about each other we just don’t know anymore.” you shake your head, smiling at him wide and helpless and hopelessly, hopelessly in love with him. “but despite all the rationality in the world, all the good sense — despite knowing the trouble this is sure to bring us — i am completely and utterly in love with you, jacaerys velaryon.”

he kisses you, then, surges into your space and cups your cheeks and slots his mouth so sweetly against yours. you gasp into his lips as he kisses you deliberate, slow and tender in a way that makes your chest ache. your arms loop around his neck, pulling him as close as you can as his own arms wrap around your waist. your noses bump and your teeth clash in your eagerness and it’s still glorious, it’s the best kiss you’ve ever experienced because it’s him.

it’s always been him.

you part after a few minutes, remaining close together as he runs his hand through your hair before cradling your face once more. “tell me again,” he whispers against your mouth, breathing your breath.

“i love you,” you say, smiling so wide it makes your cheeks ache. “i love you, i love you, i lo—”

he kisses you again, a quick press of his mouth against your this time, and then he’s laughing softly as his golden eyes shine down at you. “i have loved you forever,” he tells you, indulgent and affectionate as his thumb traces over your cheek. “i will love you forever, my princess.”

he draws you closer still, holds you tightly against him but far enough that he can drink you in, and for long moments you simply bask in the presence of each other, of this slow unfurling of happiness in your heart. this close to him, you can once again see the freckles dotted across his face. without even thinking of it your hand rises, and with butterfly-gentle fingers you trace a path over the constellations mapped on sun-kissed skin. jace sighs softly with your touch, dark lashes fluttering closed as his lips part.

“iksā sīr gevie [you are so beautiful],” you murmur, slipping into high valyrian in the quiet of his chambers.

he exhales shakily, breath hitching in his chest as your fingers brush gently over his eyelids, the slope of his nose, the furrow of his brow. you want to remember him like this forever – bathed in the soft firelight, trembling beneath your tender touch, wholly and entirely yours.

“ñuha dārilaros [my princess],” he breathes, and hearing him speak possessively of you in your mother tongue ignites something within you so suddenly you cannot fight it.

arousal roars to life, deep in your belly, and you are helpless but to do anything but lean forward and press your lips to his once more. jace meets you just as greedily, hands gripping tightly to the flesh of your hips as he hauls you closer until your chests press together. your hand moves from his face to fist in his hair, tugging at his curls until he whines against your lips. he kisses you deep and open mouthed and filthy, tongue sliding against yours so deliciously that you can feel heat pulse between your legs.

one of his hands comes up to tangle in your hair, pulling until your head is tilted back. he trails hot, wet kisses along your neck and you hiss at the sensation, pressing his head closer to your skin. you feel him smirk against you before he mouths at your pulse point, teeth nipping just enough to send a thrill of pain and pleasure through you.

“jace,” you moan, grinding against him shamelessly as he sucks a bruise into the sensitive skin of your throat. you want him so fiercely it makes you reckless, makes you insatiable as the hand not buried in his curls drags down his back to grip at his ass. he groans against you, your name spilling from his lips so deep and husky that you want to do whatever you can to make him say it like that again and again and again.

“this is— we shouldn’t,” he says into your skin. he pushes at the shoulder of your dress to expose more of your bare skin to his greedy eyes, lips trailing the path his fingers have taken. “we should wait until we—. if anyone knew of this—”

“—no one will know,” you assure him, fingers flexing into the taut skin of his ass to drive him closer to you.

“i don’t want to, to besmirch your honour.” even as he speaks he’s dragging his tongue against your collarbone, chasing a bead of sweat down to the swell of your chest.

“fuck my honour,” you burst out, and your language has him moaning. you hitch your leg around his waist and his hand drops instantly to grip you at the knee, pulling you just so until the hard length of him is grinding deliciously against your core. you can’t think, can’t breathe, for wanting him. his touch and his scent and his taste consumes you, inflames you, and you care for nothing but the feel of him against you.

he pulls away from your chest, mouth swollen and pupils blown as he pants hotly. he presses his forehead to yours, squeezing your hip to still you as you shamelessly try to rub yourself against him. “this will bring ruin to you if it gets out, do you understand? it would break me to be the cause of such a thing.”

his desperation makes you hesitate, something about the fierce tone breaking into the haze of lust that consumes you. you take a moment to look at him, and you know with certainty that if you ask him to stop right this second he will.

but you don’t want him to stop. you’ve never wanted anything less.

“jace.” you cup his cheek, thumb dragging over his bottom lip as you force him to keep your gaze. “i know the risks of this as well as anyone.” you lean in closer, your nose sliding against his before you tilt your head to pepper soft, deliberate kisses along his jaw, the corner of his mouth. “i love you.” he sighs softly in pleasure before turning his head to capture your mouth again, and this kiss is a softer, slower thing.

when you break apart, you stare deeply into his eyes, making sure he can see the truth of your words. the heat in his amber eyes threatens to splinter you to pieces as you swallow thickly, almost overwhelmed once more with your desire for him.

“i am yours, jacaerys velaryon,” you say steadily. “no matter what happens from here— i belong to you.”

it’s like a dam breaks in him. his hands are suddenly everywhere as his mouth devours yours relentlessly, leaving you gasping and arching into his touch. he backs you towards his bed as his hands fist in your skirts, bunching the material up to your hips. he breaks from your mouth long enough to tug your dress over your head, leaving you in your thin small clothes, and despite the sweltering heat of the room your nipples harden beneath the sheer material.

“look at you, pretty thing,” he says reverentially, the weight of his heated gaze tangible as he stares at your heaving chest. “is this all for me?”

“yes,” you hiss, head tilting back as he trails kisses down the column of your throat. “all for you, jace. only ever for you.”

he groans at your words, deft fingers making quick work of the complicated stays of the brassiere, and when the material falls from you he stares for a long moment as if transfixed by the sight of your bare breasts. it makes you smug, knowing that those times you’ve caught his eyes lingering on your chest haven’t just been in your imagination.

“you are perfect,” he murmurs worshipfully, large hand cupping the side of your breast tenderly. “such a perfect girl for me.”

his thumb sweeps over your nipple, featherlight at first before returning more firmly when you sigh and lean into his touch. his other hand grips your hip once more, pulling you close to him as he lavishes more attention on your neck. he nips and kisses his way down your throat, your shoulder, the swell of your breast until he’s hunched slightly in front of you, sucking bruises into the tender skin of your chest.

“jacaerys, please.” you know not what you’re pleading for, only that you need something, and it’s as if he can read your mind as his mouth closes over your nipple. his hand, now free, gropes at your other breast as his tongue swirls tight circles around your nipple and your head tips back with a moan. it’s somehow enough and yet not, your hips bucking aimlessly as heat and slick pools between your legs, and you crave.

“more, please,” you beg shamelessly.

jace drops to the floor in response and the sight of him on his knees for you has your head spinning. he presses open mouthed kisses to the soft skin of your abdomen, bites gently at your hip as his hands slide steadily up your legs. you tremble beneath his careful ministrations, and he murmurs wordless assurances into your sweat-slick skin.

he hooks his fingers into the waistband of your smalls, dragging them agonisingly slowly down your legs until you can step out of them. standing completely bare before him you expect to find yourself shy, but the way jace looks at you rapturously has liquid heat licking through your veins instead.

he leaves lingering kisses on your thigh and down your leg, and when his mouth brushes over the tender skin at the back of your knee you feel them buckle. he huffs a gentle laugh against you, warm hands cradling your waist as he urges you to sit back on the bed. you do so unsteadily, planting your hands against the soft feather mattress and watching him with intent ardour.

he nudges your legs apart and settles between them, his shoulders spreading you wide around him and you release a soft breath as his thumbs rub soothing circles into your thighs. “let me take care of you, my princess,” he pleads, eyes wide and soft and beseeching as he gazes up at you. you nod hesitantly, not wholly sure what he intends, but then his eyes finally drop to your core and darken so quickly it makes your mouth dry.

“gods, look at you.” he drags a finger through your folds and your head cants back, a whine escaping you at the touch. “you’re so wet for me, love. so gorgeous.” he brings his finger to his mouth, licking it clean of your slick and it has your mouth dropping open because he’s obscene, you think. he’s glorious.

“you taste so good,” he says, his voice so rough with arousal it makes you shiver. “wanna taste more of you.”

with no more warning that that, he licks a deliberate strip along your slit before circling his tongue over your clit. your hand shoots to his hair, tangling in the dark curls as he feasts on you. his name falls from your lips over and over again like a prayer as he laps at your core, tongue pressing deliciously inside you. you grind wantonly against his mouth, panting as he laves at your cunt.

your pleasure climbs sharply, rising so high you’re helpless to resist the way your stomach tightens. as if sensing your approaching high jace shifts his focus to your pulsing clit, flicking his tongue rapidly over the bundle of nerves.

“jace, gods, feels so good,” you gasp out, fingers tightening in his curls to press his head impossibly closer. “please don’t stop, ‘m so close—”

he sucks harshly on your pearl, ever so carefully dragging his teeth over the sensitive flesh, and you fall to pieces as that tightly wound ball in your stomach snaps. he coaxes you through the trembling release, gentling his attention on you to drag out your pleasure until you’re squirming away from him in sensitivity. when he pulls away from your core his face is shining with your slick and the sight makes you feel feral. you bend to reach him and he presses up to meet you, kissing you hot and messy as you drink the taste of yourself from his mouth.

“you did so well for me, my princess,” he pants into your mouth as he crowds you onto the bed and the praise blooms hot in your chest. “need you to be good for me a little longer, okay? need to prepare you.”

you whimper, capturing his mouth in another sloppy kiss and nipping thoughtlessly at his lips as he settles between your legs. you can feel the heavy length of him against your hip, kept from you by his breeches, and you’re suddenly insensible with desire to see more of his skin. you tug wordlessly at the hem of his tunic, pulling it free from his trousers, and with a huff of fond amusement he separates from you to pull it over his head and toss it aside.

you drink in the exposed planes of his chest, leaning up to drag your tongue from freckle to freckle along his collarbone, and jace groans out your name in response. you follow the map of constellations down his chest, pressing kisses and gentle bites to the skin until you come to one of his nipples. hesitantly you flick your tongue out, curl it around the puckered skin just as jace had done to you earlier.

“fuck,” he hisses, fingers clenching in the sheets as his arms tremble with the strain of keeping himself steady above you.

emboldened by his response you lavish the pebbled bud with attention, switching to the other when the fancy takes you, until jace is shuddering with desire and pushing your shoulders back into the bed. he swallows your protests with a flurry of kisses as his fingers trail down your chest, your abdomen until he reaches the heat between your legs. he presses a finger against you again and you arch into the touch, tossing your head back into the pillows.

“i want you so badly,” he confesses in a whisper as he sucks another bruise into your neck.

“yes,” you respond senselessly, hips bucking up to meet the slow stroke of his finger. “want you, jace, please.”

“i need to prepare you first, love,” he tells you again and you whine in displeasure. “i don’t wish to hurt you, so i need to get you ready for me.”

you’ve heard that it can hurt, what happens in bed between a man and a woman. you can’t comprehend the idea with how good you feel right now, how good he’s made you feel already, but you nod in acquiescence at jace’s stubborn expression and he beams down at you.

“that’s my good girl,” he utters affectionately, pressing a tender kiss to your forehead.

the finger that’s been sliding leisurely against you shifts, pressing inside with a familiar stretch. you’ve touched yourself before, explored what pleasure you can draw from your own body in the late of the night. you don’t know if it’s different because it’s the angle or just because it’s jace, but the feeling of his finger pumping into you is so much better than anything you’ve managed with your own clumsy digits and you moan with the pleasure of it.

“you’re so tight,” he says in amazement, burning gold eyes staring down at you worshipfully. “can’t wait to be inside you, my princess.”

you moan at his filthy words, hips bucking into his touch as he presses a second finger into you. this one pinches more, makes it almost uncomfortable until jace starts to rub slow circles over your clit with his thumb. any discomfort melts into liquid pleasure as he mouths at your neck once more, fingers crooking inside of you just so until stars burst behind your eyes.

“fuck, jacaerys—”

he shushes you softly even as his eyes gleam with smug pride. he picks up the pace, now, fucking you with his fingers as your pleasure starts to climb once more. just when you start to feel like you can’t take it anymore he slides a third finger in, the stetch burning deliciously this time, and you come apart on his fingers with a strangled moan of his name. he doesn’t relent this time, though, even when you writhe helplessly beneath him; he just chases another release for you without giving you a chance to recover, and the thrill rises so quickly it almost makes it a little hard to breathe.

“just one more,” he soothes as you whine, pressing delicate kisses to the corner of your mouth as he drives his fingers into you relentlessly. “you’re doing so well. just one more for me.”

your third climax hits you so hard your back bows up from the bed, mouth parting in a silent cry of pleasure as jace coaxes you through it before pulling his fingers from you. you ache at the loss, mewling your displeasure as your cunt clenches around nothing. he breathes a laugh at your impatience, kissing you so sweetly in such contrast to the delicious heat between you that it almost makes you weep.

with shaking hands you reach for the ties of his breaches, fumbling with the laces while he kisses you languidly. you make a triumphant little noise when you finally untie them and he smiles at you, adoring and soft and yet somehow feverishly aroused as you push the leather trousers down his hips. he helps you the rest of the way, kicking them off before returning to hover over you.

your hands brush his abdomen as you reach for him, fingers curling gently around the hard line of his cock, and he realises a shuddering breath in response. he watches you intently as you stare at his arousal, fascinated by the way your fingers barely close around the thick girth of him. he’s going to fill you so well, you realise, and you bite your lip as your core clenches again. the tip of him is leaking fluid, and you drag your hand up his cock to swipe your thumb over the head.

jace moans at the movement, so you do it again and again, watching in inflamed curiosity at the way his stomach contracts as he thrusts into your hand, the wet noise of it making you flush down to your toes as desire sparks in your core. his hand covers your own abruptly, stopping your exploration, and you pout up at him as he fixes you with a blazing stare.

“if you keep doing that, i’m not going to last,” he says, voice shaking with the weight of his desire.

“fine.”

you huff, pretending at annoyance even as you eagerly lie back and spread your legs for him. you fix him with an expectant look, raising an eyebrow, and he chuckles fondly as he settles himself between your legs once more. you’re not expecting the velvet heat of him dragging against you and you gasp at the sensation, grinding against him as he thrusts shallowly against you.

“are you ready for me, love?” he checks, cradling your face in his hands as his thumb rubs over your jaw.

you turn to press a kiss against his palm, near overwhelmed with your love and affection for this man. “yes,” you say simply, and it’s all the permission he needs as he ducks down to kiss you unhurriedly.

his head catches at your opening on the next thrust, and with the slightest shift of your hips he’s pressing inside of you. the stretch of him burns, pinches, but just as he did with his fingers, he worms his hand between your bodies to drag circles over your clit. you do your best to relax, keeping your eyes fixed on his golden stare as he slides into you, agonisingly slow.

the whole while he keeps up a litany of praise, calling you good and precious and perfect as sweat beads along his forehead. when he’s finally fully sheathed inside you he stills his movements, kisses you hard and wanting as he thumbs at your pearl, and when you’re ready you tilt your hips. the stretch of him burns, still, but in a way that sets your skin alight as you cling to his shoulders.

he moans your name like a prayer, drawing away from you until the tip of his cock catches at your entrance once more, and this time when he sinks back in your eyes roll back into your head. he feels so good, stretching and filling you so completely that you’ve no room to think, to breathe, to do anything but take it as he thrusts into you. he buries his head in your neck, resting on his forearms as he plunges into you again and again and again, and between your own choked breaths and the sounds of skin against skin, you hear him muttering in high valyrian.

“sīr sȳz syt nyke, sīr ȳrda, sīr lōz. vēttan syt nyke. ñuha dārilaros, mirre ñuhon [so good for me, so tight, so wet. made for me. my princess, all mine].”

it drives you wild, his voice and his words and hearing him speak in valyrian combined with the exquisite torture of the slow drag of his cock inside you. it’s too much, not enough, and leaves you with nothing but the need to feel as much of him as you possibly can. your hands drag up and down his back, fingernails leaving raised red lines in their wake as you seek to be as close to him as you can bear.

“more, jace, gods, please, i need—”

he cuts you off with a hard thrust, your breath punching out of your lungs as he starts to drive into you harder and faster. it’s so good, so fucking good, but still not quite enough and you whine, seeking something you’re not sure you know how to verbalise.

“whatever you need, love. i’ll give you whatever you need.”

understanding your need even when you don’t, jacaerys rears up, grips your legs and presses your knees to your chest before bearing down on you. like this he reaches so deep it hurts in the most unbearably, searingly pleasurable way. and it’s perfect, exactly what you needed, feeling him so far inside you that it soothes you and ignites you and makes you ache all at once.

“y’feel so good,” you manage to slur out, head lolling as you lose yourself to the feel of him taking you apart so expertly. “so— fuck— so deep. so good, jace, so good.”

jace groans your name, pounding into you so hard and so deep that it’s unconscionable, has your eyes rolling back into your head as your hips buck up to meet him recklessly. your peak approaches again, searing heat blazing through you as you inch closer to another climax, and all you can do is whine and moan as he fills you over and over again. he starts to lose the thread of his rhythm as you clench around him, valyrian and common tongue mixing senselessly as praise spills from his lips.

“avy jorrāelan [i love you] my perfect girl, gūrogon nyke sīr sȳrī [take me so well], can’t get enough of you, hells, i love you, ao sagon ñuhon [you’re mine], my love, my princess, my queen, ñuha ābrazȳrys [my wife].”

you come so hard you see stars, walls pulsing around jace’s cock as he curses. he thrusts sloppily into you, chasing his own release and dragging out your own as you keen, nails digging into the skin of his shoulders. he finds completion with a drawn out noise, seed spilling hot and thick inside of you as he lazily pumps his hips two, three more times before collapsing on top of you.

you press absent kisses to his temple, brushing back the sweat-soaked curls from where they’ve matted on his forehead as he shudders against you. you feel lethargic, body aching in the sweetest of ways as you fight to catch your breath. eventually the heavy weight of jace on top of you becomes uncomfortable and you squirm beneath him in protest. with a sigh he slides himself free of you, rolling over onto his back and wrapping an arm around you to pull you with him so that you sprawl over his chest.

you bury your smile into his neck, satisfaction settling bone-deep as his hand runs up and down your back idly. for long moments the two of simply lie together in the quiet, the only sound the rustling of the sheets and the crackle of the dying fire.

“i’ll speak to my mother and the king on the morrow,” he says into the quiet and you raise your head to look at him. he looks serious, amber eyes contemplative as he peers down at you. “i’ll not let another night pass without you as my betrothed.” he smiles at you then, a little crooked as his eyes crinkle, and without thought you reach up to press a lingering kiss to his mouth.

“i love you,” you say, eyes shining with mischief. “ñuha valzȳrys [my husband].”

jace swallows your laugh with another kiss, doing a poor job of hiding his own amusement as his smile presses to yours, and as the candles burn down you let all of your worries and doubts fade.

you love him. he loves you.

there’s nothing else that matters.

[milkywaydrabbles]

Can I request a sencario with #37 (overetimulation) with souya for kinktober?❤️ nothing better than a super sensitive or needy souya.

Can't wait to see how you write him🥹

-🐇

A/N: I took my night night meds so I am falling ASLEEP as I write this omg but I think this turned out okay! This was the first time writing for him so I'm not sure if I captured him correctly or if it's wildly OOC. Please let me know how you feel about it! MWUAH (PS I had to go back and read the last chp. because TR wiki wouldn't just tell me what the gd twins did when they were older god)

Overstimulation x Kawata Souya

The twins had hired you months ago, when their ramen shop picked up in popularity and they found themselves needing extra hands around the restaurant to assist with front of house duties. They went through interview after interview, candidates either not fit for the job or those who were too scared of Angry to stay longer than a week. It was frustrating, he was trying--it wasn’t his fault he had a natural scowl. Angry would only try to help the newcomers, giving them helpful tips and tricks on how to do something easier, or learn all the soup bases. Everyone took it as scolding, not willing to look past his demeanor and listen. And then you came along. A bit quiet, but level headed and kind. You’d worked in an izakaya before this, needing something not as aggressive--your temperament couldn’t handle the drunks for long periods of time.

Nahoya liked you immediately, glancing over to his twin who said nothing a majority of the interview and just stared. He couldn’t help but snicker once you left, rustling his hair while he earned a glare from the younger twin. You were eager, starting off strong but noticing you needed some help with memorizing all the bases. Souya had hoped his brother would take over and just help you instead, he wasn’t ready for another runner. Instead, you had personally asked him for his help, wringing your hands together as you nervously waited for his response. He helped as normal, though his angry demeanor was still present it never scared you off. You listened diligently, smiling at him with each trick he had up his sleeve. After you learned your way around the shop easier, the conversations flowed easily between the two. Sure, Nahoya would give his input here and there--but he saw the way his brother would look at you. Really look at you. He’d tease him whenever he knew you weren’t listening and kept on his way. The twins would try to send you home early here and there, give you a break from the long hours of the restaurant, but you’d simply smile and shake your head. “I like it here.” You’d reply, turning over to Souya, eyes softening. “I’d rather be here.” 

He confessed to you a few weeks later, and the rest was history.

Now he had you under him, writhing in pleasure and whimpering his name. The room was filled with pants and the squeaking of the bed underneath you, air heavy with the smell of sex. Souya had filled you up with his cum earlier in the night, but he couldn’t help himself and keep fucking into you. “So-oouya, s’go-ood” You whimpered against the pillows, clawing at the headboard with each hump against you. Angry couldn’t help himself, not when you were working so hard at the shop today. You looked so good, diligent in your work, making sure everything was running so smooth with him today. Nahoya had to take the day off, feeling a bit under the weather. But you made sure everything was kept under control, dealing with all the customers and making sure Souya had help when he needed it. He was practically on you the second you both crossed his door. “A-ah, fuck, you feel so good, angel--fuckfuckfuck, pussy’s so good.” His arms were on either side of you, fucking into you harder, his cum squishing around him oozing on the sides. “Can’t--aah, can’t hold on-fuck” Souya clenched his jaw holding in a whine while he came inside of you again, stilling while he filled up your creamy pussy. He panted, catching his breath before pulling out and fucking into you again. You whined underneath him, already feeling so full of him. 

“Sososo good, honey, pussy so good” He was slurring his words together, fucked out and losing control. Souya was drunk off the feeling of your cunt, whimpering when you clenched around him with the praise. He knew he should stop, he’d already came twice and his cock was becoming sensitive. But he was still rock hard, and the way your ass rippled each time he pummeled into you looked too good for him to stop. The younger twin became noisy when he got like this--nothing else on his mind except his beautiful darling girl underneath him crying and full of his cum. “Feel so good, nngh, such a good baby” He whined, face relaxing enough for his nose to scrunch up and tears prickle at the corners of his eyes--his cock was aching, the feeling of your gooey walls overstimulating him in the best way possible. But he wasn’t done yet. Souya had pressed his chest onto your back, turning you so he could fuck you on his side. A hand snaked in front to rub your clit, fucking you from the back with vigor. You couldn’t help the sob that escaped your lips, tightening your core around his dick when he rubbed you like that. “S-Souya, g’na cum again, m’g’na cum.” You repeated, whining when you felt your orgasm come crashing over you. Your legs trembled, but his pace kept up just a brutal. You closed your legs, trying to retreat but Angry just kept fucking into you. “S’too muuuch” You whined, but he never let up. “Ca-haa-can’t stop, honey, feels good.” You knew he was just as overstimulated, you could hear it in his shaky voice, thick with tears and the sniffling behind you. His cum was sticky on your ass and the fronts of his thighs, webbing and sticking on your skin with each pull. It kept you connected to him, pulling apart each time his hips weren’t on yours. “Gonna cum again, oh fuck, gonna cum again.” Thick sob bubbled in his throat as his arms wrapped around your waist and pulled you down, grinding himself deeper into your cunt--you felt his tip kissing at your cervix, and it felt like he was in your throat. 

The two of you stayed connected, and sticky, nothing put panting messes until he swallowed and rubbing circles into your stomach. “Are you..okay?” He murmured, embarrassed. Souya really could never believe you were with someone like him, so it took a lot for him to acknowledge that you were still around after sex. He felt you nod against him, legs still quaking from the strength of your orgasm. “Mhm” you turned in his arms, feeling him slip out with more of his gooey cum oozing out. You hitched your leg onto his hip, uncaring of the mess below you. “Are you?” 

Bashful, his face turned a pretty shade of pink as he nodded in return, scowl slowly returning to his features. “I’ll clean you up, just stay here okay? Have to make sure you’re okay.”

Kawata Souya was a lot of things. But ‘angry’ was never one of them. Not with you.

[bleach-your-panties]

matched sexual energy - rindou haitani🩶

🩶relationship drabble collection - valentine event. minors, blank, ageless, dni

🩶that mf be hittin them gd splits don't he LOL. fem reader.

🩶cw: oral (f!receiving), dirty talk, sexual intercourse implied

🩶dividers by @/cafekitsune

🩶wc: 707

You were lying in your bed waiting for Rindou to get out of his meeting since he'd texted you earlier and said that he was coming over.

----

The two of you had met in the most mundane of places - the grocery store.

He had a basket full of liquour and cigarettes, which was odd, but you didn't question it.

You rang him up quickly and he slipped you a black card, making your eyes widen slightly before you took it from his gloved hand and stuck it in the reader.

"Have a wonderful day."

"You too, sweetheart."

You weren't expecting him to say that, and he seemed to notice it since he sent you a smirk from his peripheral before grabbing his bags and exiting the store.

----

You ran into Rindou at that store quite a few times after that, until he finally asked for your number.

It wasn't until later that you found out that he was in a gang, but that didn't deter you from seeing him whenever he called for you.

"What's up, baby?" He called as he stepped inside your apartment. He used his key to get in, which made sense since he was paying for it.

"Hi Rinnie..." You cooed sweetly once his slim figure slipped through your bedroom door. Rindou grinned at you.

"Why are you hiding underneath the covers? Don't tell me you're getting shy on me, baby girl?"

He began unbuttoning his uniform jacket as he strode over to you.

With a small shake of your head, you threw back the covers revealing your nude body, which is exactly how he instructed you to be.

"I never met a girl like you, baby. Always so fucking ready for me to come and ruin you.." He gripped your jaw and tilted your head up to look into his shining, violet eyes.

"Never have to ask you twice, you always know exactly what I need from you." You smiled and seductively bit down on your bottom lip, causing him to lean in and press his lips against yours.

His three-toned hair brushed against your forehead and you brought your hands up to run your fingers through it.

After a few minutes, he pulled away from the kiss with a thick string of saliva connecting your lips and shook your head side to side.

"I know. You want to freak in the morning and freak in the evening; I think I've got the schedule figured out by now, Rinnie. You know you can come see me anytime because you always know just what to do."

"Mhmm, I know what to do, baby?" He rolled his eyes, but he was smiling.

Rindou then began taking off his watch, glasses, and rings to set them on your bedside table when you grabbed his hand to stop him.

"Leave them on, Rin. Want to feel them wrapped around my neck tonight." He let out a little chuckle and squinted his eyes at you.

"Freaky ass girl."

He grabbed your thighs and dug his fingers in, knowing that the rings would leave indents. That's just how he liked it; they had his initials engraved on them, which meant in turn they'd be engraved on you.

"Oh fuck, Rin!" You moaned as he began licking you in earnest, his face completely buried between your spread thighs.

He stayed down there for a good twenty minutes, just licking you out until you came into his mouth, twice.

"Good thing I took my glasses off." He brought his hand up to wipe his cheeks and nose from from where you had squirted on him.

"God, you're so sexy, Rin." You moaned as you came down from your orgasm. The tattoos on his neck and torso always turned you on so much.

"Yeah, baby? You think I'm sexy?"

"So sexy, Rinnie." You gave him that signature pouty look that you know drives his crazy.

"Fuck, turn over for me. Arch that back, gunna put this dick inside you now."

You and Rindou went well into the night, switching between multiple positions and just fucking each other's brains out.

He'd always keep coming back to you because no one could keep up with his sexual appetite the way that you could.

----

If you know exactly what I wanna do, then Imma give the business to you

0:00•---------------4:13

🔀 ⏭️ ▶️ ⏮️ 🔁

the business - yung berg ft. casha

💗💗🍡°taglist: @enchantedforest-network @prncessrindou @prettybraat @darkstarlight82 @chifuyuskoneko @honeybleed @sin-and-punishment

©bleach-your-panties 2024. do NOT steal, repost, copy, alter, or upload any of my works onto other sites.

[tinyidle]

not happy - khj x yn x jsy

a self-indulgent fic

wc: 4.3k

WARNING: smut, angst, pwp, vampire mafia au, poly relationship, tw: mentions of drug use, se*ual and physical assault (extremely minimal, since that's triggering for even me), harassment, graphic depictions of violence, death and bl**d (minimal), mentions of the (g)i-dle and ateez members, a lot of dialogue, nicknames: hj calls yn 'darling' and sy calls yn 'baby' while yn calls hj 'daddy' and sy 'mommy', punishment (cuckoldry), light bdsm (the b, d, s, and a small part of m), edging with a vibrator, orgasm denial, begging, unprotected sex (vampires can't get preggos, but hybrids can so-), overstimulation, dacriphyllia, creampie, reader (yn) passes out, aftercare (and some fluff if you can squint without hurting your eyes), harddom!hongjoong, vampire!hongjoong, b!gd¡ck!joong (you already knowww), mafia leader hongjoong, harddom!switch!soyeon, vampire!soyeon, mafia leader soyeon, sub!reader, vampirehybrid reader, fem reader, all fiction ofcofcOFC

𖤓 𒂭 𓊑 ¸ ⠀ ݊ 𖤛 𓈒◌ ⃝ ༩ ⠀𓈒 ✧ 𓊆 ◌⃘ 𓊇 ݁ ◍ ◌⠀ ׂ

before meeting you, they were enemies-- sworn to hate each other for the rest of their lives. the infamous male mafia group octet were rivals against the infamous female mafia group coronica.. no way were they ever going to get along. these leaders were feared in the city of seoul, and at night they ran their sides of the huge metropolis. that is, until they died.

both were deep into the drug business, meaning they would partake in things most druglords wished they could get their hands on. when one of the pills they took regularly happened to contain immortal bat blood as one of the ingredients, they didn't expect to fight over it when the dealer was telling the other that 'this leader had a hold on it first' for the last batch available at the time. they both killed the dealer, then turned their guns on the other. both were supposed to be fatal headshots.

waking up the next day was weird for them. they woke up in their respected gang pins, on their beds, craving for their pills instead of asking how they didn't die. but when they were told there weren't anymore, they resorted to taking human lives to survive. the two still hated each other, always attacking each other when one came into the other's view, despite living in such a massive city (blame that on their vampire vision). it felt like a never-ending cycle, but you somehow came into their lives.

they don't know how, but you just did. after they saw you when it was their feeding time (for some odd reason the drug they took before dying tied them together in terms of how they act digestively), they didn't want to eat you. in fact, they wanted to get to know you. they approached you and asked you to be their friend.

days turned into months, and soon you were dating the two mafia vampires. you were the catalyst of both rival gang leaders being cordial with each other now. every now and then, hongjoong would give soyeon the occasional hug, and every now and then, soyeon would give the occasional friendly smile. but it was you they loved, and it was you who loved them.

of course they told you about their past, but surprisingly to them you didn't seem to mind. you nonchalantly told them that the dealer they shot was your shit uncle who cared for nothing more than drug dealing. and you apparently were a vampire too; a hybrid by birth when you found out that your druggie of a mother was taking those dracula pills as well, almost causing you to die. after the icebreaker of each other's history, your life remained as normal as a polyamorous relationship amongst three vampires could be.

out of the three of you being around the same age, you're the only one who goes to school. despite being immortal, you wanted an education to become a product designer. all your life you wanted to leave the dangerous society you grew up in, and during your growing up you realized that you loved design. so, after looking at all the types of designers one could be, you decided on product design.

unfortunately, your adult life wasn't as grand as one would want it to be. despite being in your third year of university, trouble found you as a girl in your 3D art class harassed you for two weeks now. as you packed up your laptop and designer's tablet, the girl shoved your bag off the chair and unto the floor, nearly destroying what was already in your bag.

"hey!" you yelled, frustration and hurt pouring from your heart to your mouth. you needed those materials in order to pass any of your intensive classes. "those cost a lot!" you wanted to mention how your grades were dependant on them too, but that would be oversharing and would subject you to more bullying. she glared at you and began to walk away when suddenly you caught her arm.

"what do you think you're doing?" she said, struggling to get her arm off your grip. now, you had two choices at this point: say sorry to your bully and allow her to get away with her dangerous stunt, as you were already failing almost all your classes; or stand up for yourself in any way you could. you chose the latter.

you swallowed the lump in your throat, and spoke up for yourself for the first time since the girl started picking on you. "if i do whatever you want me to do tomorrow, will you leave me alone?"

the girl thought about this for a moment before smirking and nodding, prompting you to let her now numb arm go. "park, tomorrow afternoon at 2. don't be late," she instructed before leaning in to whisper in your ear, "or else you'll be fucked."

you shivered before nodding slowly, bashfully watching her as she left the nearly empty classroom.

even though you wanted so badly to protest, you had to be honest with yourself. you hated school at this point, you wanted to give yourself a well-needed break-- even if that meant ditching class for the day. you knew hongjoong and soyeon would be worried sick, but you also knew their vampire senses would find you. they always do.

--

the next day, five pm. you were supposed to be at home two hours ago, yet there was no signs of you being even close to home. worried was an understatement. they knew this wasn't like you.

hongjoong paced back and forth while soyeon impatiently tapped her foot in your shared penthouse. "where the hell is she?" he huffed, pushing his sunglasses up his nose bridge before letting it fall down to the tip of it again.

soyeon pushed her trench coat back, pulling her own sunglasses down before answering with an annoyed tone. "i don't know, where do you think she is, wise guy?"

the man stopped in his footsteps, slowly walked towards the short, impatient lady, and stood over her just shy of a few inches. "i. don't. know. and your snarky remark isn't going to help us find her any faster."

as much as she wanted to bop the guy on the nose, soyeon knew better than to fight her indirect boyfriend for the missing nature of her girlfriend. standing up straight, she helped push hongjoong's glasses up before sighing and flattening invisible creases from his two-toned blazer. "look," she began before raising her manicured nails from his blazer to his pale-colored cheeks. "i would love to argue with you and have our baby break up the fight, but she's obviously not here to do that. i only care about you because i care about her, and i know you do too. im sorry i lashed out for no reason, but we got to figure out how we're going to find her without starting a fight."

slightly leaning into her touch, the man sighed himself before replying. "you're right. im sorry for being so worked up." hongjoong took soyeon's small, frigid palm and wrapped it around his own cold ones. "let's call the gang and have them search for her. she shouldn't be far."

soyeon nodded before the two made up with a hug. she pulled back a bit to ask a small question, "what if we find her and she did something stupid?"

hongjoong smirked, pulling back to give soyeon the tiniest peck on her forehead-- the first of its kind in their estranged relationship. "let's just say that when we find her, she'll be in for a treat."

--

seven pm. you and the girl were at the swings, doing your best to settle your differences. key phrase 'did your best', because while you were trying to talk things out with her, she was too busy teasing you about your living situation and your lack of knack for school. when you two were walking to a vacant ice cream booth, she decided to shove you to the ground, pinning you down while you stared in shock.

she smirked as your eyes welled up with tears. "did you really think i was going to settle things with you?" you wanted to think there was some good in her, but she was simply cruel. you wished you never agreed to going out with her today. "remember when i told you that you'd be fucked if you didn't come to the park with me today?"

you nodded, tears now falling rapidly down your cheeks.

she leaned in and licked your ear, much to your disgust. "well, ive been seeing how cute you look. ill just fuck with you right now."

when you winced and mentally prepared for the worst, you heard a tight grunt before opening your eyes to see the girl above you. her eyes rolled to the back of her skull, and her body fell backwards as blood pooled on the floor. you were horrified as her smell permeated the ground, and you were worried you somehow killed her with your hybridity. but no, it wasn't you, it was the crew who found you. your partners' gangs.

mingi put his smoking gun down, blowing what remnants of it away. yuqi quickly bandaged and picked up the slowly decaying body in her arms before having it taken away by yunho and jongho. miyeon picked you up and dusted you off. "

"h- how did- how did you guys find me-"

"you're not hard to find, hybrie," minnie said as she walked up to you and miyeon. "our boss called us, their boss called them," she pointed to the boys wrapping up and pushing the body bag into the truck, "and we did what we did to find you."

miyeon held your cheeks and maneuvered your head around, checking to see any brusing in your face. "did she heard you? shuhua told me that you looked distressed while we were getting here."

you shook your head, wiping your tear-stained cheeks. "thanks, but im okay. just a girl who wanted something from me that i wouldn't have been able to give her."

"she WHATT?!?" you heard as soojin held shuhua back from the body bag in the open trunk of the black truck. "no way did this dead bitch try to molest her!"

"shhh, shuhua!" yeosang tried to hush her, which she landed a death glare at him. his eyes widened before he put his hands up in defense. "im sorry, but we've got to be quiet before somebody suspects something." the woman huffed before giving up on attacking the potential autopsy.

you looked at the bag and saw it slowly compressing. "what are you doing to her body?"

out of the trunk you saw seonghwa motioning to yeosang to get in, holding what looked like an IV tube that was covered dark red. as the man got in, wooyoung and san got out, explaining to the girls that they have you covered and will take you home.

once coronica and most of octet left, san led you to the back of their car as wooyoung went to the drivers' side. you again asked, "what did they do to her body?" you were worried you were going to get in trouble for a crime you were simply a victim of.

san turned to you as wooyoung focused on the road. "seonghwa and yeosang were draining her of all her fluid, particularly her blood, for our boss and the girls' boss to have."

"what?" you said, startled.

"don't speak too loud, please," wooyoung cautioned you. "i just got this license and im not going to get distracted."

the other man looked down and then back up to you, continuing to answer your previous question. "jongho and yunho cleaned up any remaining fluids from the park, and one of the girl's-- yuqi i believe-- wrapped up the wound she got from mingi shooting her."

you were shocked, to say the least. "but, why?"

wooyoung chuckled. "why? because she tried to take advantage of you, that's why. because if mingi didn't shoot her square in the back of the head, one of your boss girl's girls would've beaten her to death, making it extra hard to clean up any signs of foul play. soojin had to hold her down once she found out what we found out."

this was all too much for you, and you felt sick. "what will happen if the public finds out?"

driving into the penthouse area, wooyoung parked neatly before turning around to look at you with all the smugness in the world. "we're the biggest gangs in seoul. nobody will know what happened to her or how it happened. it'll be as if she-"

"-disappeared," san finished.

"exactly, san. vanished." wooyoung nodded.

you nodded before being escorted out the car and into the luxurious home. you saw yuqi and soojin talking to both hongjoong and soyeon, relaying all the information they acquired down to when you were pinned to the ground. as the two were intently listening to every word the women said, their senses detected you, turning to you in sync.

you hesitated before walking up to them and murmuring a small "hey." they nodded before waving you off to the shared bed space. as you went to the bed, you overheard wooyoung and san join in on the conversation, quickly turning the serious incident into a more loose chat mixed with some jokes here and there. you slowly got yourself ready for bed, and felt your eyes drifting to sleep.

--

it was now the weekend morning, and you expected to have your boyfriend and girlfriend reprimand you, or at least scold you. instead, you woke up with your hands tied to your front. your night dress was still on, even your eye mask was secured over your eyes, but you could not move at all. you all talked about light bdsm and wanting to do it, but you didn't think that today would be the day for it.

when you became more-or-less comfortable in your state, you felt tiny, icy fingers take off your eye mask. what you didn't expect to see was a fully naked soyeon next to a fully naked hongjoong. both looked incredibly needy for you-- soyeon's nipples were hard while hongjoong's cock was fully erect-- but you could tell that they weren't going to touch you.

"darling," hongjoong spoke up first, his hands fiddling with something you couldn't recognize. you hope that it isn't you think it is. "you know better than to go somewhere without our permission. especially for so long. mommy and i were worried."

your eyes filled up with tears, "you were?"

soyeon nodded as hongjoong spread your legs open, taking off your underwear in the process. "the good thing is that our gangs caught you in time," she spoke as hongjoong pushed the lubricated toy into your center.

unfortunately it was what you thought it was.

the small toy started vibrating, and you shifted your gaze towards soyeon's fingers as she held a small remote. "the other good thing is that daddy and i settled our differences while you were gone. so we thought-" she paused, looking over at hongjoong to finish her sentence.

as you were doing your best not to squirm, you looked in awe as your boyfriend went behind your girlfriend, holding her waist in his hands before finishing the sentence. "-we should show you how much we actually like each other now."

the two turned to look at each other's face before planting a tantalizing kiss on each other's lips. well, tantalizing to you; cunning to them. "see, baby, you made daddy angry, but he doesn't believe you should be touched as punishment." soyeon pulled back from the man's lips as his hands wandered around her. "he mentioned to me how we never fucked, and how it would make you jealous for us to get together without you."

before she could continue explaining, her voice got caught in her throat as hongjoong pushed her towards your tied form, with the only thing you're seeing is soyeon breathing heavily as the man's icy hands spread her legs wide for his awaiting lips.

hongjoong then picked up where soyeon left off, "so i thought that, not only do you get what you want-- with us fucking with you present because im nice," he flashed a toothy grin, "but you also get punished because you cant touch yourself nor cum."

before you could even begin to protest, the remote notched up the power of the vibrator twice, making you whine. another whine could be heard, but you knew it wasn't yours. looking to the side, you saw as your girlfriend was getting thoroughly eaten out by your boyfriend. in any regular circumstances, you'd be inexplicably turned on, but now all you wanted to do was get your share of pleasure. pleasure not from a mechanical machine, but from your lovers.

while soyeon was moaning and panting from the vampire man's skillful tongue, she moved her eyes back to you. hongjoong brought his mouth away from soyeon, using one of his thumbs to circle her already engorged clit. "how does it feel, hmm mommy?" he breathed, moving up to nip and suck lightly on her nipples to gain her attention from you to him.

soyeon answered while still keeping contact with your pleading orbs, "good, fuck. so good. i want to cum." the man obliged and immediately plunged two fingers in her awaiting hole and leaned down to suck her clit. screaming, soyeon turned off the vibrator, cutting off your impending orgasm while hers kick-started. you sobbed because of the denial of it all while your girlfriend shuddered from the pleasure she just received.

allowing herself to come down, soyeon crawled, up to hongjoong before giving him a lustful kiss as you looked with want in your eyes. they treated you like you were both there and not there. even though you had tears in your eyes, you loved how they didn't acknowledge your presence, which they knew very well you'd love.

pushing your boyfriend down, your girlfriend kissed her way down his pale body until she reached his pelvis. "does daddy want to be sucked, or does he want to fuck mommy instead?"

hongjoong motioned for the remote, and once soyeon gave it to him and he turned it on to a pulse setting, you moaned aloud. he smirked before looking back at the smaller woman, nodding before confirming to "suck daddy off."

you wanted so badly to protest, that soyeon should be encouraging you to give hongjoong head, not for you to be helpless while she gave him head. you had dreams of you and your mommy sharing daddy's cock-- but unfortunately, because of your bad behavior, that dream will have to stay a dream until the next session.

as soyeon bobbed on the man's head and even deep-throated him a few times, you were shaking in excitement, hoping that they would have mercy on you and allow you to cum. however, once soyeon made a particularly harsh suck, the toy stopped again as hongjoong came on your girlfriend's chest, making you cry out again. in tandem, you heard your boyfriend groan as his cum landed all over your girlfriend's chest. soyeon smiled as she took some of it and tasted it for herself before scooping some to feed you, giving you a bit of attention since they started playing with each other.

after you sucked off the remnants of your boyfriend's essence from your girlfriend's finger, hongjoong reached out to pull soyeon to him, making her squeal as you whined from the loss of her fingers in your mouth.

"aww," he fake cooed in sympathy, maneuvering the small woman on her hands and knees. "you really thought you were going to get more? only good babies get mommy's fingers for more than that long. actually, soyeon was more geneorus than she should have been. what do you say, darling?"

you were now having thin streams of tears falling down your cheeks, sniffling before you spoke up, "thank you mommy."

having even more sympathy for you, hongjoong nodded towards soyeon before she looked at you with a small smirk. "no problem, baby. now, we'll have mercy on you and let you cum."

the toy now was on the highest setting, making you shriek before closing your eyes, thrashing about. when you were about to keep your eyes closed in order to bask in the pleaasure of it all, you immediately reopened them when a cry rang out in the room.

there you saw your mommy getting your daddy's cock for the first time, and you were starting to feel a bit envious that you couldn't get a closer view. "fuck," hongjoong grunted, moving carefully to push even more of his thick length into the tiny hole that belonged to his indirect girlfriend. "when was the last time you were dicked down?"

soyeon turned to the side before breathing out a heavy breath, "since before i killed you. and before you killed me." the man rolled his eyes before moving the hand that wasn't over the small woman's hip to her clit, rubbing it to get her wetter. "sh-shit, daddy. no wonder our baby always whines for your cock."

hongjoong only smirked and chuckled in response as he finally eased all his length into soyeon, creating a bump that only he and she could feel; one that you could only imagine from the position they're in. he began thrusting in and out of her steadily, making her moan, pant, whimper, and even scream in the pillow a bit. after a few minutes of him soon fucking into her rapidly, the toy pushed a certain spot within you that made you cum hard.

however, your mommy and daddy weren't done yet, let alone with you. soyeon was turned on her back as hongjoong re-entered her, causing the both of them to moan. you were pushed into overstimulation, but you dared not to speak because you knew this was part of the punishment. the two kept fucking, occasionally looking towards you, but moreover in their own world. it was amazing how you could feel their pleasure being mingled with your own from merely watching the action.

if anything, it was the fact that your mommy looked so happy that made you blush at the same time the vibrator inside you pressed on that certain spot that caused you to cum hard again. you screamed loudly while the toy pushed you to the brink of numbness, your scream echoing throughout the house. after a few minutes of watching you release, soyeon decided to do so herself, pushing herself up against her half-boyfriend's pelvis and crying out as her small cunt finally tightened around his entire length before cumming around him.

the vibrations from the toy echoed through your whole body, making you flow now rivers of tears, begging for the vibrator to be turned off.

once hongjoong's hips were against the mattress, he began bucking against soyeon, picking up the pace as you pleaded for him to make it stop. his muffled grunts told you that you'd have to wait a little longer, which only fueled your tantrum further.

but what you weren't prepared for was the vibration intensifying, numbing your walls until your last orgasm pushed the toy out. the sight was what caused hongjoong to finally let go, holding soyeon's hips as his cum pumped loads into her as she whimpered from the fullness.

hongjoong was now shivering from his orgasm as soyeon trembled underneath him. after letting riding out the waves of pleasure, he sat down on the bed next to her, stroking her hair.

meanwhile, your body remained limp for several minutes, unable to even move an inch as you drifted off to unconsciousness. the buzzing finally ceased, but your tired body failed to react, as if the act had never happened. after laying there in a daze for awhile, the sound of someone running water woke you up. you couldn't help but groan as your mind slowly came to the realization that you had to live with your actions for the rest of the day and the repercussions that may follow. when you felt a pair of arms lift you up and put you onto another pair of arms in a body of water, you felt a bit relieved that they weren't too mad at you.

sniffling from what you know you did to have been punished, you looked up at soyeon behind you, then to hongjoong above you, then apologized. "im sorry for not telling you where i was going."

soyeon rubbed your arms, rubbing her cold cheek against your luke-warm one. "it's okay baby," she comforted you, becoming even more at ease when hongjoong joined in to give the both of you a chilly-warm embrace.

the man leaned down to give you a loving kiss on your forehead. "just make sure to let us know if you plan to go somewhere so that we won't have to worry much, okay darling?" he wiped away the tears that threatened to leave your water line.

you nodded before saying okay. the three of you spent a good portion in the tub, loving and embracing each other.

[hakusins]

Are the rumours true that they took away our onigiri boycunt meal?

THEY DID !!! THEY ACTUALLY DID hang on let me pull up a pic for comparison. It was because some chinese players didn't like how suggestive it was (even though theres so many women in this gd game that has their tits out)

before, (i played on the day of launch)

after (if you played a few weeks after launch, i think it was a week or two after launch that they changed his design :(()

IM SO FUCKING MAD THEY TOOK AWAY THE ONIGIRI BOYCUNT !!!!!!! its okay the onigiri still lives on in my delulus and artwork. (please kuro games pls give it back to us)

[kewpidity]

answer every question on the proship ask meme POP QUIZ [or is it pro quiz??] i wanna knoooooow

@teacupballerina @hopscorched @emile-hides

sorry it took so long to get to these! gonna post em all together and give two answers where it makes sense since some of these are repeats!

1.) What is your favorite problematic theme/trope that appears in a lot of your ships?

its literally so basic in the grand scheme of problematic stuff, but i love a teen girl x older man, especially when she's in charge lol. i also like things like 'damning secret' (basically people going through forced proximity because they both know something they'd get in a lot of trouble over if it got out) or just forced proximity in general also a fan of one of the characters going insane with covetous love and lust that drives them to do all kinds of fucked up shit about it and also! a handy chart of one of my All Time Dynamics, kid x creature (im counting pompep)

↷↷↷

2.) Are there any problematic tropes that squick you out?

i dont really like anything involving cheating, DV, or hardcore rape/assault, feels bad man

3.) First problematic ship since you joined the proship community?

tbh ive never really Not been proship, it was the only logical thing to me, so this answer is kinda tricky- i guess i could say when i Actively started interacting with other proshippers? but tbqh i dont really remember sorry jklfsdk

4.) First ever problematic ship? (you didn't have to know it was problematic then)

quiche and ichigo from tmm is literally whats wrong with me it fucked up the chemistry of my brain when i was like 12

5.) Ship you don't think it all that problematic, but the rest of your fandom hates?

idk if this really counts Exactly but im baffled to this day by the divide the ML fandom has over the different love square dynamics, please explain to me how every combo is good and wholesome, except for marinette x chat noir, which is somehow bad and degenerate, like even the people working on it make jokes about it like what do you mean its the same gd people???

some others come from spop, where people will try to convince me that hordak x entrapta is abusive despite being one of the healthiest dynamics in the show, or how bow x glimmer is Practically incest cause they. grew up together??? spop discourse was Nuts

6.) Cutest, most vanilla ship you are into.

hmm probably my crossover ship for berry and adrien, they're downright saccharine

7.) Ship the antis in your fandom like, but you think is hella problematic?

Absolutely no hate to the people who like these but oh my god yall there are others but these are always the first two that come to mind

8.) Ship that is (presented as) cute in canon/fanon, but you think is problematic anyway.

kinda just the same ones i just listed tbh

9.) Problematic crackship?

as someone who deals almost Exclusively in rare pairs and crack ships, most of them lmao but if we're going with like. Probably Worst all across the board, its whatever is going on with cedrιc, elyοn, and phοbοs from w..i..t..c..h the depravity that we never got to fully explore with these three is off the charts

10.) Are there any problematic ships that are your NOTPs?

i do not care for wιllιam x mιchael aftοn- p sure its popular in fnαf proship spaces but im just never could come around to it other than that i cant really think of any- usually i only notp things because the fans piss me off about it, and i dont generally have that problem with other proshippers

11.) Darkest fandom you are into?

im really into old rpg horror games in general, and Those get Super Dark, so probably that!

12.) Least dark fandom that you are into!

sοfia the first, but rest assured im Making it problematic

13.) Rec a dead dove fic!

im so sorry but put on the spot, every single fic ive ever read and held dear has suddenly totally absconded from my brain and i cant recall literally any of them

14.) Song that reminds you of one of your pairings!

here just have some playlists i put together for some of them so i dont have to choose anything specific: Grim x Mandy Gaz x Zim Mabel x Bill Snufkιn x Jοxter and my general problematic playlist you'll like em

15.) Silliest reason you've been told not to ship a ship.

'its not canon' is the dumbest shit i've Ever heard and yet somehow is super pervasive in fandom

[semperreformanda]

life update

last june my boss let me go for “not being a good fit”

it didn’t take me long to put two and two together and realize that the big reason was because of my pregnancy. and the biggest support to this theory was he talked negatively about a coworker (who was in the company for 6+ years) who got pregnant, saying stuff like “I don’t want her back … I already know how it goes when employees get pregnant, they’ll start calling out … I don’t want to deal with that” he would say all that stuff to me and others behind her back so I knew I was only gonna stick around to save some $$$ and use the insurance as much as I could

(oh and she was forced to resign bc they literally did not want her there anymore 🙃)

but when it finally happened it drove me in anxiety and anger because I had relied on the insurance especially bc I AM PREGNANT

yes it is illegal yes I should have reported it but I had no energy to do anything

but God reminded me through it all that He provides and He does! and so silly of me to think He could provide for my greatest need (my salvation through Christ) but not provide for our little earthly needs

another reason I was annoyed was I was already planning to quit but they beat me to it 😂 but that was honestly the worst company I’ve ever worked for. I could not deal with the constant disrespect and the yelling and the cussing and their questionable ethics

they stole an engineer’s professional seal and stamp it on their projects WITHOUT HIS APPROVAL meaning all projects are “approved” 🥴 this was the last straw for me bc imagine all the hazards

anyways… that was almost 3 months ago and I honestly feel so relieved to not be working there anymore. I spent too many times feeling so incredibly stressed out and then even more stressed out that I may be hurting the baby from it

speaking of… I am already 27 weeks pregnant today 😭 I remember when I first saw that faint line and thought I was hallucinating things. we tried for months only with a stark white test every month, so seeing a shadow of a line sent chills down my spine. and 27 weeks later my little bubba has gotten so big and active 😭 I love him so much

like it’s so crazy how he’s so close to me but also so far it’s like a long distance relationship 🥴💀

also learned a lot about gestational diabetes bc my hypochondriac brain was convinced I HAD IT

apparently it’s not due to your diet and you can’t even cause it. shocking how this is not widespread knowledge, because so many moms feel guilty for failing their baby when they’re diagnosed but in reality it is mostly your placenta being a jerk 😭

so for the past few days when I got the call that I failed my 1 hour I acted like I had gestational diabetes 😭 became very picky with what I ate, which is hard bc my culture loves rice 😭 and I took 10 min walks after meals

all I could think about was my blood sugars spiking and how I needed to bring it down 💀

also I had to fast for at least 8 hours before I could do my 3 hour glucose test which was honestly so hard bc if you’ve been pregnant you know the pregnancy hunger pangs!!! I cried after my test because I was anxious about having GD and also I felt so bad for my baby 😭😭 like I starved him 😂 even though I know he’s fine in there because placenta n all dat

anyways I just wanted to let you guys in on that bc why not and also I’m bored and drinking chai while my husband works besides me 🙂🤠

[dotuindex]

Updated Keith HCs :)

Age 19 at debut

5"8

Only child

Japanese-American

Parents always had very high expectations for him, but he excels under pressure somehow

Uneventful childhood, comparatively.

His family was financially well off tho

Had friends he got along well with, but never truly connected with anyone until the Garrison

If he gets anything under and A he's losing his mind

good dancer, took ballet as a kid

decent cook

Bi, preference for men

pretentious lil bitch in school

Wrote poetry back in the day

LOVES art. dabbles in drawing, himself.

neat freak

Cleans when he's stressed/angry

Talks to himself, especially when upset.

*aggressively cleaning* *mumbling* no one in this gd respects me or what i do for them-

likes heels

Great with kids!

Favorite color is BRIGHT red

Lives by a strict, self imposed schedule... Like he schedules his relaxation.

Massive sweet tooth but tries to be responsible

LOOOOOVES fantasy books

Turned 18 and felt spontantious, got a LotR quote tattooed on his arm.

He also got his ears pierced but didn't end up liking how it looked

Likes wholegrain bread????

Hates crunchy peanut butter

Will not eat bread crust, however... he's sneaky about throwing it away tho, he feels like he'll be judged for wasting food.

LOVES museums. Especially obscure, niche ones.

Loves miniatures.

Always wanted a dollhouse as a kid, but was too embarrassed to ask for one.

Secretly wishes he had a sibling or two

Hates having his hair tied back because it hurts his head

Allura is his platonic soulmate, if such a thing exists

February birthday

Had a phase where he was obsessed with learning about the Roman Empire

Ambidextrous, to a certain extent

Can play the piano

Not a cat person. He's kinda creeped out by them.

HATES camping

LOVES Christmas

[raccooncityriots]

I swear I cannot stand lazy ass people

My brother refuses to even fucking hold a ladder for me. I need to clean the gutters out and my brother is refusing to just hold the ladder in place because he says it will take like three hours to finish. I told him it would take at most an hour because I’m just doing one side of the house, but still no. The ground isn’t level or I wouldn’t even bother to ask him. I’ve done this before with his help I don’t understand why he thinks it will take hours it literally never has.

He said, “I’ve had to do it before and it took me three hours” buddy I’m not you. I’m sure two hours of that were you being terrified of being a foot off the ground. I use a ladder frequently at my job. I’m not afraid of that, I just don’t want it to fall on the uneven ground.

Also??? You’re a fucking adult??? Sometimes things have to get done and we have to put down the fucking computer to do them. Do you think I want to clean the gutters??? You think that’s what I want to do with my time off work??? No, but it has to get done.

I stg whenever mom dies and I move away this boy isn’t going to be able to function. Man doesn’t know how to cook, doesn’t know how to clean, doesn’t want to help do any household chores. I don’t know how he ended up being so fucking self-centered and entitled. Fuck off.

He wonders why I don’t want to sit and listen to his Warhammer rants for hours and this shit is why!!!! Grow the fuck up. Bitch, I watch anime, I play video games, I collect dumb figures that I 100% overpay for, but at least I am a functioning fucking adult.

I moved back in so I could finish college and lucked in to a good job. It’d be dumb for me to pay rent at an apartment instead of just continuing to pay some of the bills here while I pay off some of my student loans and save money for a downpayment on a house, but I swear I get so annoyed at my family that it hardly seems worth it some days.

After mom lost her leg I’ve been having to do almost everything by myself and that’s just so frustrating when their is a gd able bodied man older than me that also lives here and contributes less than 1/3 of what I do financially. Get a better job or get off your ass and hold a fucking ladder for me.

[kay-elle-cee]

Fic Author Self Rec

Fic authors self-rec! ✨ When you get this, reply with your favorite five fics that you’ve written, then pass on to at least five other writers ❤️

Thank you for the tag @charmsandtealeaves!

I think last time I was tagged in something like this I ONLY had five fics...so this is a bit harder 😅

Saturday Night's Alright (For Fighting) — Angst, Rated M, 14k

The summer after fifth year is no one’s favorite summer. Sirius Black is ostracized from his friends, suffocating under the thumb of his parents and lashing out however he can. Lily Evans is grappling with the fallout of her friendship with Severus Snape, not to mention dealing with Petunia’s insistence of cutting Lily out of her life. James Potter is feeling the sting of betrayal and wrestling with what it means to forgive, while learning to take accountability himself. A chance encounter might be the key to turning the tides for everyone.

My heart, my soul, my baby. This was the idea that got me writing again. It took me a while to sort it out and actually write the damn thing, but man.....this one has such a special place in my heart for me.

2. A Thrill Divine, Down My Spine — Fluff, Rated T, 2.5K

“Oh shove it, Potter. I’m just saying. You’re like…a really nice glass of Ogden’s Old,” she says, eyeing a bottle of the spirit and signaling to the barkeep. A little lost for words, James stares at her. “How strong was that drink?” “You know what I'm getting at — like a really good thing personified. Take a compliment Potter, God.” She turns on her stool to face him, sliding one of the firewhiskeys his way. Or: Two totally platonic friends get drinks after a rough day.

This one came out of nowhere but I'm so pleased with how it turned out!

3. restless waves rise and fall — Pirate AU, Rated T, 37k (WIP)

In efficiency and general seafaring know-how, First Mate Evans makes up for what Captain Potter lacks. So she has to make up for a lot. Or: In which James Potter is a gentleman pirate and Lily Evans is his loyal but vastly more competent First Mate.

Originally thought up as a one-shot for Jily Week, this Pirate AU really took on a life of its own. This is my first multichap fic and I'm posting the last chapter next week and when I tell you Captain Potter and First Mate Evans have me by the THROAT I'm not joking. I love these two so gd much I'm going to miss them 😭

4. no, i could never give you peace — Angst, Rated M, 4.5K

James blinks. “Are you breaking up with me, Evans?” he jokes softly, resting his hand on hers. It’s a joke, but her body tenses and it immediately puts him on edge. The silence that follows is excruciating.

“I’m not doing anything.” Her nails begin to tap on the mug again—a nervous habit that James spots immediately. “I just think we should have a conversation.”

This was my first fic to publish when I got back to writing last year, and I'm still so, so pleased with it.

5. Echoes of a Love Lived — Microfic Collection, Rated T, 14.5 K

A collection of unconnected ficlets for Jilytober 2022 based on the 31 @jilytoberfest prompts.

I had so much fun challenging myself for this collection, and I loved being able to switch between angst and fluff at the drop of a hat.

Tagging @emeralddoeadeer, @possessingtheproperspirit, @sunshinemarauder, @alittlebitofeverything23, @wearingaberetinparis

[pastafossa]

MY GD DAY.

Me to Pharmacy #1: ok so I called in the prescription on Friday and now i have no pills, is it ready? Pharmacy #1: we called the doctor but they haven’t filled it, maybe call them Me to doctor: ok so I called in the prescription, can I get it filled? Doctor: we didn’t get a request from the pharmacy but you should have like ten auto refills??? anyway we can put it in Me to Prescription Status Checker: so is it ready now Prescription Status Checker: yes... wait no, now it’s gone Me to Pharmacy #1: it said yes and now it says no??? Pharmacy #1: it didn’t get called in to here, it got called into Pharmacy #2, they should have it Me to Pharmacy #2: don’t say it Pharmacy #2: we never got it called in, but it shows up at Pharmacy #1 and we won’t be able to give you medicine until tomorrow if you go here Me to Pharmacy #1: please Pharmacy #1: we show no order, just a request Me to Pharmacy #1: but i did all the things??? Pharmacy #1: ...did you move by any chance? Me to Pharmacy #1: yes? Pharmacy #1: Ok so you have two accounts, one with your meds with the ten refills and one without. that’s so weird, idk why no one fixed it and it’s probably why you’ve been having issues every time you try to refill, anyway i took the old one off Me close to crying: THANK YOU BUT ALSO MY MEDICINE, PLEASE DEAR GOD Pharmacy #1: right yeah uuuuuh, half hour maybe? i think we can get it done before closing

[rothjuje]

It’s snowing and I missed it so much I didn’t even mind shoveling the drive for an hour to get my car back up. It’s February break and I’ve been trapped inside with 3 sick and whiney kids and I felt like if I didn’t get out tonight I would go insane. And I needed groceries and a family sled from Target. In hindsight, yes, I should not have gone. But also I have like a week’s experience of driving in the snow and I didn’t realize how quickly snow can fall, it’s been so hit or miss if it even sticks on the road.

I also learned that plows don’t come by past 9 pm (everything here closes between 8 and 9). So, that was fun. The last 10 minutes of my drive were like driving in a snow globe, I don’t even understand how the Honda civic made it honestly. At one point I thought, ‘my Gd, they’re going to find me frozen to death on the side of the road with my car full of Target bags, what an embarrassing way to go.’

But I made it! And learned lots of lessons, most important being don’t be an idiot and drive during a snowstorm.

It was snowing so fast that in the 30 minutes it took to shovel the fresh drive the majority of it was completely covered again by the end. I tried to drive up and nope. I had to shovel 10 feet quickly, drive 10 feet, shovel 10 feet quickly, drive 10 feet etc. Definitely the most I’ve ever seen it snow in my entire life.

Yes yes I know, I need to figure out the damn snowblower. But shoveling is so fun and great exercise. I downloaded Spotify and finally opened my ear bud knockoffs and it was a party. I feel like I’ve joined the 21st century haha.

Anyway. I had chest pain for two months (squeezing and pressure) and was pretty sure I was going to die of a heart attack. I finally saw a doctor about it and got my labs back and I think it was just unrelated pericarditis (doctor thinks it was from the Pfizer bivalent I got in early December, I never had an issue with the J&J or Moderna though). My labs came back with slight anemia and high cholesterol. I need to get better about taking iron and making healthy choices. I am thinking about doing a complete household diet overhaul, I hate feeling like I’m feeding my kids junk.

I’ve started taking evening power walks with my neighbor and it’s the best, but I think I need more cardio. I still plan on getting the treadmill once we figure out the flooring situation in the basement (we have a credit with Home Depot we’re sorting out). I miss running. A lot. And treadmill running is my favorite kind of running. I was thinking about maybe doing another half marathon because then I would be forced to train, but I keep remembering mile 10 and my legs afterward.

I ask Alyssa what she wants to be when she grows up on a weekly basis. First it was a cat, and then for a year it was a firefighter, for 6 months a nurse, then she wanted to be a mommy, then she wanted to be JoJo Siwa. I asked her the other day and she said “I’ve been thinking about this mom. I want to be a chef. For real.” I believe it, she’s a picky eater for sure but she loves to try new things, and oddly she likes spices. And she loves to cook and bake. I want to encourage her interest because I think it will help her become a better eater and just because that’s such a perfect and unique passion. I will miss her JoJo Siwa days though, she is such a performer.

Justin leaves Saturday for an international trip. It feels like he just got back from his last work trip. He’s going to be gone a full seven days. Inconveniently, it’s supposed to snow several times next week. I need to unbox the snowblower before he leaves, I won’t be able to leave the kids to shovel. I want to park the car at the bottom of the driveway but Justin is worried that it will get hit by a snow plow (really?) or that it will roll down because of ice (the bottom of our driveway is still a hill). Hmmmm.

[sunnyrosewritesstuff]

Day 3- From the Pieces of Your Shattered Memories

With a little help from @lordoftherazzles I FINALLLY decided on a title for this fic, so thank you Razzy! This was the winner for "my future WIP". Since posting the first chapter on AO3 would just be basically posting my previous teaser, I thought I should offer you guys a little bit more. So consider this the fic "trailer". 😆

From the Pieces of Your Shattered Memories

Rating: T

Warning(s): N/A

Ship: Bagginshield

Words: 1780

Summary: Paramedic/Amnesia AU; Bilbo was just checking on a coma patient that he might have a teensy little crush on. That was it. Even though he’s a paramedic, his job doesn’t get terribly exciting. Now, he’s on the run with said man who can’t even remember who he is as they escape assassins and potentially uncover a plot that will destroy Erebor.

Previous Teaser

The remainder of the ride to the alley where Bilbo found Oakenshield was met with silence. Though it was far from comfortable. Bilbo was constantly checking his mirrors awaiting the inevitable car chase that would just top his day on ‘shit he wasn’t built to handle’. However, to the relief of his shot nerves, there was nothing. No gunmen, no cops, nobody suspecting anything out of the ordinary. Bilbo parked the ambulance next to the meter at the entrance of the alley.

“Well, this is it.” Bilbo explained pointlessly.

It sat between the Mathom House, a local museum, and the Green Dragon, a bar and pub. The best Bilbo and Theo could figure, Oakenshield had left the pub when he was pulled into the alley and mugged. It was common enough to hold weight, even if Oakenshield’s blood alcohol level came back 0. After all, Bilbo was a big fan of GD’s fish and chips. It was entirely possible he went in just for lunch before he was snatched into the dark alley.

The only thing that was causing Bilbo to second guess himself was Oakenshield’s James Bond self-defense abilities. If he could take out two gunmen in less than a minute in the hospital, how could he not defend himself against a few thugs? 

Oakenshield moved gingerly thanks to the bullet wound in his side, but his eyes scanned the area fiercely. Bilbo could tell from the furrow of his brows that he was frustrated though. Bilbo stuck his hands in his pockets wondering when exactly would be the best moment to duck out and leave the man to his own devices. 

“Can you explain to me how you found me?” He asked softly.

It startled Bilbo from his thoughts as he took a step forward, nodding dumbly.

“Yeah, sure. You were laid out here.” Bilbo stated going to the spot. “Bludgeoned to the head, contusions over your body, heavily emphasized to the ribs and abdominal area. It looked like a textbook mugging.”

“I think after what we experienced in the hospital we can rule that out.” Oakenshield snapped.

Bilbo glared at him. “Well it’s not like we knew that at the time.”

He ran a hand through his long dark hair. “I know.” He groaned. “This isn’t helping like I thought it would. Nothing about this looks familiar.”

Bilbo heaved a sigh before placing a hand on Oakenshield’s shoulder.

“I’m sorry. This must be frustrating to you. But I told you these things take time, you can’t just force your memories…”

Bilbo let himself trail off as Oakenshield walked away from his touch towards a dumpster. He felt his lips press together tightly. Well, good talk then. He was glad he could help. He was going to offer to leave when Oakenshield pushed the dumpster away from the wall slightly. He then bent down to retrieve something on the ground back there. Bilbo couldn’t help but wrinkle his nose at the action. He was far less disgusted and a bit more curious when Oakenshield flipped open a wallet.

“How did you know that was back there?” Bilbo asked in amazement.

“Because I suddenly remembered to look for it.”

There was no money, no credits card, or ID of any kind. It definitely looked like it had been cleaned out which made the mugging theory more credible. Bilbo could tell Oakenshield was getting discouraged when a small photo fell out of the folds. There were three people in the photo, but none of them were Oakenshield. 

There was a beautiful woman with brunette hair and dark eyes with her arms wrapped tightly around two young boys. The older one had sunshine hair and Oakenshield’s blue eyes. The youngest had dark hair, a bright grin, and was clutching a graduation cap to his head. Bilbo felt sick looking at the picture. Oakenshield had a family. Where were they? Why hadn’t they tried to find him?

“Do you…recognize any of them?” Bilbo finally brought himself to ask.

Oakenshield shook his head, his jaw clenched tight. 

“I-It’s okay, Oakey. It’s not your fault.”

“Stop!” He ordered, pulling away from Bilbo once more. “I should know! I should be able to know my own family! If that’s who they are.”

He bent down groaning as he clutched his head. Bilbo went into medic mode and immediately rushed over next to him trying to take his pulse until Oakenshield shook him off. He was certainly proving to be a stubborn patient, but Bilbo thought he was fine. Probably just lingering headaches from the memories he was trying to force as well as the blunt force he took.

Bilbo wasn’t exactly sure what he was still doing here. He said this was all he was going to do. And it really would be in his best interest to walk away now. He didn’t know this man, he was vaguely terrified of him, but not as much as he should be which was the troubling part. Bilbo took another look at the photograph, his eyes zooming in on the youngest boy. More accurately his sweater.

“I know that crest. That’s my nephew’s school, well cousin once removed actually, but technicalities.” 

Oakenshield perked up, looking between Bilbo and the photo.

“What school?”

“Buckland Prep. It’s on the east side of town.”

“Can you get us in there?”

Bilbo hesitated. He could still walk away. He could remind Oakenshield that this was the end of the line for their temporary partnership, and good luck to him. However, there was something about him that was so magnetic. Bilbo would almost blame those hopeful blue eyes, if it wasn’t for the fact that he felt this way even when the man had been asleep in a coma. 

“They’re not going to let us ask for records on another kid. At least if we’re not on his contact list.”

Oakenshield’s lips pressed into a thin line as his eyes reflected his disappointment. 

“But,” Bilbo sighed, hating how much his heart swooped at seeing Oakenshield’s demeanor brighten. “I bet Prim is at home, and maybe she’ll recognize him if he’s in Frodo’s class.” 

“Then let’s go!”

Oakenshield was up and practically running to the ambulance before Bilbo stopped him. He managed to convince him that they were better off ditching the ambulance and switching vehicles in case anyone came looking for him. It was rather fortunate, actually, that Bilbo’s cousin, Odo, ran the Mathom House. Perhaps more so that Odo owed him a favor so borrowing his car for a couple of hours shouldn’t be a big deal. 

“Also, Oakey?” Thorin brought to his attention Bilbo’s slip of the tongue.

Bilbo felt himself flush, but tried not to act like it had any effect on him whatsoever.

“Do you know how much of a mouthful ‘Oakenshield’ is?” 

“So you gave me a nickname for your nickname?”

“You know what, remember your actual name and I’ll stop.”

Bilbo had just a moment to be horrified at letting his mouth run away from him before Oakenshield let out a deep, loud chuckle. A smile immediately bloomed across his face as he felt himself preen. All the while trying to remind himself not to get his hopes up. Remember, he’s a psychopath. Possibly has a wife and two kids.

“You know, you’ve been giving me all this crap about me being the spy, and then you do something like this.”

“Now I have no idea what you could mean by that! I certainly didn’t kill two men with my bare hands!” Bilbo squawked, rounding on the taller man.

“No.” Oakenshield agreed, his eyes twinkling. “But you picked out that little symbol on the sweater, knew exactly what it meant, and now you’re having us ditch our ride in favor of something that will be more under the radar. Are you going to hotwire it for us?”

Bilbo rolled his eyes. “Nothing nearly as dramatic. The only thing I’m guilty of is having a big family in a relatively small town. Now if you’ll excuse me, I have to deal with one of my least favorite cousins.”

Before Bilbo could proceed, he was stopped by a hand on his arm. He turned back around to Oakenshield, with his head cocked and eyebrow raised. The man gave him a small smile as his eyes bore into him with an intensity that caught Bilbo’s breath.

“I just realized I haven’t really had the proper chance to thank you. So…thank you. I’m pretty sure I’d be dead, at least twice over, if it hadn’t been for you.”

It was on the tip of Bilbo’s tongue to argue with him. After all, picking him up that day had been a routine job, and Theo was the reason they had answered the call instead of packing it in for the day. As for the hospital, Bilbo had very little to do with getting them out of that situation. Oakenshield had practically saved them single-handedly. And maybe that’s why Bilbo hesitated. Because this incredible, attractive, please don’t let him be psychotic, talented man thought Bilbo was amazing. That he was actually worthwhile simply because he could follow a series of clues that might unlock this man’s memories. 

“You’re welcome. Of course. I’m happy to…yeah, I’ll just be a moment then.”

Without further ado, Bilbo ducked his head and slipped inside the museum hoping beyond hope that he could somehow get the imprint of that man’s smile out of his brain before he wound up hurt. And he certainly didn’t mean physically, but that was definitely a valid concern.

***

Teasers from Future Scenes/Chapters:

“Here he is! Kili Archer. He’s actually a few years older than Frodo.” Prim declared, her finger pointing to the same boy in Oakenshield’s photo.

“Could your last name be Archer?” Bilbo questioned the man.

His lips pursed together. “It doesn’t sound familiar.”

***

“Listen closely, Bilbo Baggins, you have no idea who you’re messing with. If you don’t give my brother back to us, you’ll have the entire weight of Erebor’s militia hunting you down. Now where. Is. Thorin?”

***

“You didn’t realize that the man you’ve been carting around this whole time was the King of Erebor?” The bald man demanded.

“He. Had. No. Memory. How was I possibly supposed to know that?!” Bilbo shrieked in response.

***

Bilbo stared down at the rainbow colored gem. This was it? This was what was worth killing Thorin over?

He heard the footsteps creeping up behind him, and Bilbo immediately spun around only to freeze at the sight of the gun pointed right between his eyebrows.

“You just couldn’t leave well enough alone, Medic. Hand over the Arkenstone, or I might just have to kill you.”

[violetsiren90]

Personal:

Okay, sorry, this is like, grade-school levels of fangirl cringe, but if I don't scream about it here, where can I possibly unload this from my brain?

Dreamt of Yoongi and Namjoon last night.

In the dream I happened to be at a banquet at this hotel where the two of them were accepting a humanitarian award. It was a complete surprise to me that they were there because I was there on business. As they were leaving they came to take a picture with a guy at my table (who was apparently someone important?), and I took the opportunity to flash them a smile and thumbs up. Yoongi looked at me with this recognition, like, he could tell I was a fan. Anyhow, after the dinner I was at the hotel gift shop (wtf, dream, hotels don't typically have gift shops?? 😂) and they were walking by with an entourage of staff, and I turned and smiled at them again and waved, ONLY THIS TIME NAMJOON REACHES OUT AND GRABS MY FUCKING HAND AND SQUEEZES IT. Then Yoongi proceeds to do the same, but then he full-on stops WHILE HE'S HOLDING MY GD HAND and asks me in the cutest English if I'm Army.

Like, I can remember what his hand felt like. It was cold. His grip was stronger than I expected. His hand was kind of bony. I never wanted to let go.

He stayed for a minute and we tried our best to talk around language barriers. I thanked him for D-Day and the concerts and we laughed about a pair of socks at the gift shop that had hedgehogs on them. Then he left.

Best dream of my life, and the night before Festa. Is it weird that I feel like it was some kind of gift? So irrational. But in my heart, it was Yoongi reaching out across space and time, to say, "Future's gonna be okay." 💜

[chowtrolls]

How Do Trolls Learn Language?

Here’s the Google Docs Link, I think it’s much easier to read on GD! 

Before I go on a hugeass long winded ramble, I want to clarify my qualifications so you know I’m not just talking out my ass. I have a degree in Middle Childhood Education, specifically in Language Arts! I also have certifications in teaching English as a second language and in reading intervention. Essentially, I am qualified to provide individualized instruction for students K-12 who may have delays in literacy, or have a reading disability of some sort. When I write this, please know I’ve thought about this SO MUCH. Phonics & language development are actually faucets of education that I not only highly value, but adore! 

Enough tooting my own horn. You get the gist. 

Language is developed in children by developing their phonological awareness, going up a ladder and ending with phonemic awareness. Phonological Awareness is the ability and awareness of sounds in a spoken language (ex: /cat/ rhymes with /bat/. If I replace c with r, the word is now /rat/). Phonemic Awareness is the understanding that letters make sounds, and how to manipulate them (I know /cat/ is sounded out by saying /cuh/ /ah/ /tuh/. The first sound of /cat/ is /cuh/. C can make /k/ or /s/ sounds.). Now, I could spend literally hours telling you the steps and processes. If you WANT to know more- you can look up how decoding, blending, and fluency lead up the ladder steps to phonemic awareness. But I don’t want to bore you. And I know you’re probably confused, isn’t this about aliens?? Yes! Hold on!!

Language is developed SOCIALLY! Primarily by PARENTS! And secondarily by SCHOOLS!!!! I know, I know, who woulda thunk schools had a purpose? Children who are read to by their parents have a higher rate of fluency & literacy. And in schools, if anyone can recall, you might’ve done some now silly activities like…”A is for Apple, B is for Ball,” maybe a word wall if you were lucky, sounding out syllables, “I before C except after E”, “When Two vowels go walking the first one does the talking..” so on and so forth. Those were necessary skills for developing your language skills. You didn’t wake up one day and just KNOW how to read. It took literal decades of your life. It took decades of conversations with peers, with friends, with adults in your life, reading books and watching movies, listening to adults converse, reading signs on the streets without realizing it…even now, you’re still learning! Even now, you’re still utilizing the phonemic & phonological awareness skills you learned over decades of being a social creature on Earth!!

When I make you read this word, it might be the first time you’ve seen it, it might not. Humor me. 

PHANTASMAGORIA 

As a human being with some experience in the English Language, you might know how to work your way through it. /PH/ makes an /f/ sound, right? So you know it starts with /f/. You know /ant/ and /mag/, and can blend the word into /phan/-/tas/-/mag/-/or/-/ia/. Those are all skills you learned socially. Somewhere along your life, you picked up the information that /ph/ makes /f/, and that O when paired with an R makes an /or/ sound. These tiny little aspects of your knowledge were developed socially. Via conversations. Listening. Talking to adults as a child. Talking to classmates as a student. Reading books. Watching video game streamers. Listening to music. Singing. Eavesdropping on your mom while she was on the phone. But mostly…Talking, talking, talking! Baby, language is a socially developed construct!  

So how the fuck do trolls learn language?

Trolls don’t officially have schoolfeeding (or so I was told.) On top of that, trolls are primarily raised by lusii, semi-sentient animals that haven’t all been shown as capable of language. Some may speak telepathically! But how can an entire race of aliens learn to speak the same languages if only a tiny fraction of them actually had parents who spoke to them? Trolls might’ve had jades in the caverns speak to them as grubs but, if we use human child development as our baseline, we know that isn’t nearly long enough to develop any true sense of phonological awareness. 

While my qualifications are primarily in teaching English, I know full well that literacy is similar amongst every language, every community. It’s a socially taught concept. And if we turn our gaze to animals, you’ll see it's much the same! Think of a litter of puppies. They don’t speak a literal language- but they have a body language. They learn through play with their littermates and interactions with the dogs around them what is and isn’t acceptable, and how things are said in their own language. A puppy learns from watching its mom play bow. 

Because trolls aren’t inherently social, and because their parental figures often can’t read themselves, I propose the idea that trolls are born knowing language. Or, well, hatched. 

We know, looking at the animal kingdom, that not all things a creature does is language-based or even socially learned. For example, how do puppies know to bite? They don’t learn it from mom or their litter, it’s an instinct. They’re born knowing how to do that. Human babies are born with a lot of instincts they can’t utilize until later in life, but every baby’s first instinct is to cry. The baby has no idea what crying will lead to- and ultimately later will learn- but in the first few moments of life, a baby cries. It doesn’t know why. It just cries. A puppy just bites. A baby bird just opens its mouth. A newborn foal just stands. And I believe that a troll, once it reaches pupation, just speaks. You could argue that humans are also born with the instinct to learn language, but…if left WITHOUT verbal language right from birth, a human being just won’t speak. My theory is, even without verbal language, a troll WOULD. Or at the very least, a troll could pick up verbal language much faster. 

I don’t think a newly pupated toddler troll knows what physics is and could explain what the fourth state of matter is. But I do think they’re made knowing a certain pool of words. It could be that as grubs, their lusii CAN communicate with them- so they’re pupated knowing basic words their lusii spoke to them as grubs. Language here is still a socially developed skill, but not entirely dependent on such. A troll living in a city with advertisements and signs everywhere, with music playing constantly, with the chatter of adults and older trolls all around, might have more developed language skills than a troll who lives in the country. But ultimately they both can still speak, and hold a conversation! I think lowbloods in tight-knit communities would have higher literacy levels, and if we follow the headcanon of Fleet Academies, then highbloods in those settings might as well. Jades typically are raised together, too. 

And, furthermore, my final point here is that trolls are developed to pick up on language much easier than a human might be. This would probably be the absolute best way of explaining it. That language, to trolls, is an instinct, and something that they as an alien race are highly capable of building off of. They are just hatched knowing language, and knowing how to develop it. Trolls never have to DEVELOP the sense of metacognition. They are hatched with it. A troll doesn’t have to develop phonological awareness. They’re hatched with the fully developed ability to hear, identify, and manipulate sounds in a spoken language. They never have a period of having to learn the language they’re being spoken- they are hatched knowing it. 

An unfortunately unsatisfactory answer, right? 

This will still keep me up at night until I can create a more solid concept. However, there truly is no way I can properly explain the intricacies of this without word vomiting phonological concepts on you. Trolls are hatched with a higher capacity for fluency in language. Since societal conversations and norms aren’t heavily relied upon in trollian society, concepts such as prosody aren’t as focused upon. If Alternia has one main universal language, it would mean trolls have less to learn- however, as a human, I struggle to see how trolls can have one language without a plethora of regional dialects, as we have in the United States. 

By never having to develop a sense of metacognition, by starting their language development halfway up the ladder by knowing language from the start, by perhaps not having to go through Piaget’s developmental stages as slowly as humans do, trolls perhaps have a higher capacity for learning in general. This might be a survival skill- they live in such a hostile society that it might be necessary for them to have a higher language level. Perhaps there are colonies or planets run by trolls who DO teach socially, and they have an even higher rate of fluency and literacy. 

That’s the fun part about aliens, right? 

You can kinda do whatever you want with them! :)

[stackslip]

Thoughts on wrestlemania night ☝️

overall notes: gd i wish this were at any other hour than in the middle of the night for me. the stage is a downgrade from last year. the crowds felt low but i guess it's because of the stadium acoustics, which sucks bc it needs a very loud crowd. the actual filming and production was honestly quite good, a lot of great purposefully chosen shots. lil wayne didn't serve much.

Rhea VS Becky: excellent opener. the fight felt vicious, personal. rhea imo is at her best when she's threatened and unhinged, and becky really took as much from her as possible. it was real good and i loved the entrances. wish it had been ten minutes longer tbh.

Tag team ladder match: I expected very little going in so i was incredibly surprised as how much fun it was. an absolute riot. the right winners too tbh, truth in particular deserved it! wonder where it's gonna lead the judgement day. but g-d please give the new day something good :(

3 on 3 lucha match: eh. i was interested in the story but the match itself wasn't..... exceptional, and the ending with the random football players from philly had me scratching my head.

Jey VS Jimmy: by far my most bitter disappointment of the night. the video package was ten times more exciting than the match itself. my biggest fear for an uso vs uso match was the idea that they'd just do superkicks and like three moves in total, and that's what it ended up being. the crowd was dying in real time. jey's expressions are top notch and jimmy.... jimmy was good but i wanted him to do something less predictable than begging for mercy only to betray jey (eh). like this needed something far more. not only was it short, but i was practically *relieved* that it was because i felt embarassed for them! the crowd was dying in real time and so was i. gd i was waiting for this so so much and it ended up being so poor it actually breaks my heart.

Sami VS Gunther: the buildup for this matchup was short and sami had been passed over many times recently so I'm not gonna lie--I went in believing sami was absolutely gonna get fucked over and that gunther would inevitably retain. never been more pleased to be wrong. the entrance was fucking incredible and set me up for the rest. gunther was legit fucking great, wild to see him lose his composure. the parallels to last year's elimination chamber match were fantastic. sami's every move made me BELIEVE. excellent ending. i was deeply emo by the end and it perked me right back up from the previous match.

3 on 3 women's match: short but sweet. wish it had more of a story behind it, wish bianca had a personality besides being strong. but hot damn if she isn't GOOD at what she does. athletic as fuck. asuka's makeup ruled. damage ctrl didn't shine much this match but it's bc its real purpose was very obviously to introduce jade. was worried about how jade would work--she apparently still needs a lot of in ring training. but they used her like they'd used early roman in the shield: she comes out not nearly as much as the other two but is used as a nuclear bomb. incredible finisher tbh.

the rock and roman VS cody and seth: ok let me start by saying that i have not followed the buildup as assiduously as i'd hoped, in part because i fucking hate the rock and his shtick. i do not find him charming or fun. he sucks. imo he brought down the level of a lot of the lines and storytelling til then. i also didn't expect him to do much in the ring. i was mostly waiting for tomorrow. imagine my shock when this match is not only good, but REALLY good. like, every single one played their role to perfection. it devolved into an absolute riot of a match. seth was imo the one who made it all cohere and he pulled a hell of a performance. the rock was a lot better than i expected. cody and roman, whenever it's just the two of them, fucking *shine* and i could watch them forever--the rhythm accelerates, they feel like proper archrivals with insane chemistry. roman did everything i hoped he would: he writhed, he whined, he snarled, he looked pathetic and sad and he fucked up multiple times, he was gay as hell with cody and seth. considering how physically intense this night was, i'm exciting tomorrow night to be less of a match and more of a fucking riot where half of wwe comes out to fight the bloodline and roman's kingdom crumbles as cody claims the crown. anyhow i think that after this roman should spend a few months whining with a haunted look in his eyes as he sinks to new pathetic rock bottom (meant in every sense of the term) lows. maybe cody could get him as a pet and promise to fix him, since all roman's really wanted was a group to belong to who'd protect him. maybe cody could fuck him. maybe roman could become a communal *GETS GAGGED AND DRAGGED OFF THE STAGE*