#this took like 41 hours to make i appreciate any support!!!!!

[eclaire-went-bam]

oc lineup

just some of my characters lol

eiyym mohznov, genderfluid (he/they/she), tiny electrician who can probably break your nose

shadz, agender (they/them), hyperactive black market serial [data expunged]; not to be trusted

shadyn monroe, demiboy (he/it), burnt-out artist who REALLY likes fancy clothes

evelyn woods, aporagender (she/ze/xe), is probably a cryptid and she doesn't know also bunny vigilante

ace jacksons, boy (he/him), turned fashion into a crime

enkai shimizu, genderqueer, bite-sized assassin who adopts ferals

alex husher, demiboy (he/they/zir), Assassin With Sympathy™ also the first oc also also little mx references to other ocs over here

camille newton, girl (she/her), ghostly parkouring entomologist

amy korosov, neutrois (they/it/star), Space Demonias™ and also probably an international fugitive

admin, gendervoid (none), definitely not of this plane of existence idk what to tell u but definitely an umbreon fan

amietego, genderfluid (she/they/he), accidentally broke the flow of time

[mayans-sauce]

I Want To Know

Gif Credit: @sonsofeorl

Pairing: Bishop Losa x Female Reader

Word Count: 940

Warnings: kind of angsty, mention of smut, talking about murdering, but fluff at the end!

Request from @supervalcsi Hello!!! Can I please get something fluffy for Bishop with “Can you just please hold me?”  from prompt list 2? I know this season will break me 😭 Thank you so much! 💕💕💕

A/N: thank you for the request and thank you @everyhowlmarksthedead for helping me! Hope you all enjoy <3 !No spoilers for season 3 in this writing!

Sign up HERE to join my taglist! Or let me know in a comment/ask/private message :)

GROUP CHAT for updates!

•• Main Masterlist •• Bishop Masterlist ••

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

You and Bishop were laying on your backs on separate sides of the bed, breathing heavily after a hot and steamy sex session that had lasted most of the night.

None of you moved any closer to each other. You let the breeze from the window cool both of you down. The only contract you had was with your hands, holding and caressing each other’s fingers and palms to keep that little bit of contact.

Out of the corner of your eyes, you saw him resting his eyes for a bit. You could tell that he wasn’t asleep because his hand kept squeezing and caressing your smaller one.

You wanted to ask him something. Something that has been on your mind for a long time. Something you really wanted an answer to. You wouldn’t judge or complain. You just wanted to know for the sake of knowing. If this was the right time to ask it, right after sex, you didn’t know, but you couldn’t keep it in anymore.

“Bishop?”

“Hm?” His eyes were kept shut, but his eyebrows rose at you calling for him.

“I wanted to ask you something.”

His whole attention was on you now. Waiting and wanting to know what you were going to ask.

“I want to know,” you inhaled air deep through your nose before you continued with your question, “I want to know how it feels to kill someone? What goes through your head while doing it? Is it as easy as breathing to take someone’s life?”

What Bishop did for the club wasn’t a surprise to you. You had been together for a few years now, and you knew every little thing that he would tell you. You also knew that he had killed a fair amount of people. He never told you about it; he never wanted to put that burden on you. But you knew, of course, that he had done it.

Bishop looked at you with his mouth slightly open and eyebrows raised, all in all, a perplexed look on his face. He was stunned by your question for him, and he had no idea what to answer for that.

“Shit querida I don’t thi-“ “please Bishop… I want to know. I won’t judge you. I’m not oblivious. I want to know. That’s all.”

His eyes averted back to the ceiling; he didn’t dare look at you as he told you, afraid that you would see him as a monster. He took a deep breath before he opened his mouth again.

“The first man I killed, I was scared shitless... I thought I would never recover from that... I didn’t sleep for days... My mind was filled up with the last few seconds while he was still alive… and then just as easy as inhaling a breath, he was gone…”

He paused for a little, turning his head towards you to see if you were going to run out on him at any second. But you didn’t; you stayed right where you were, waiting for him to continue.

He kept looking up at the ceiling as he continued. “After a while, it just feels normal in a way... Like it’s just another regular day at work... It sounds fucked up, but that’s the full and honest truth… and just… the power you feel when you take someone’s life that has hurt and terrorized someone you care about… someone you love… it just releases some of that anger the minute you pull that trigger.”

He exhaled a deep breath when he was done talking. He didn’t know what more he could say to that question of yours. He had been dreading to tell you something like this, but he knew that sooner or later, you would want to know.

“I don’t judge you, Obispo; I hope you know that. Even if I sometimes may not agree with everything you do, I’ll still support you. Because I know you always make the right decision. You always try to make it, so it benefits everyone,” you turned on your side so you could have a better look at him, a comforting hand being laid on his chest, “I know what I signed up for when I decided to be with you, and I’ve never regretted my decision ever.”

You saw the relief on his face that your feelings for him didn’t change with him telling you about this. He knew that he had found the one that would stick with him through all the ups and downs of life and that you would always love and respect him no matter what.

“Can you just please hold me?” He muttered with pleading eyes.

You pulled yourself to him, clinging to him as your legs wrapped around to keep him close. He pushed his face into your chest to feel the comfort from there. His arms wrapped themselves around your middle as one of yours caressed his back, and the other one went into his soft locks to massage his scalp in a soothing motion that would help him relax in a heartbeat.

“Thank you… for not running out on me. You’re the only thing keeping me sane in this lifestyle.”

“I would never. I’m sorry to break it to you, but you’re stuck with me forever.”

A throaty laugh that made his chest rumble could be felt against you, and it made you smile that you could put him in a good spirit after the dark things that were discussed just a few moments ago.

“You are stuck with me also, baby. I love you.”

“I love you too, babe.”

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

Thank you for reading❤️ a quick reblog and feedback would be so appreciated❤️

GENERAL TAGLIST: @everyhowlmarksthedead @-im-fantastic- @idorkish @megantelford @witching-hour @rosieposie0624 @jessprins13 @skyofficialxx @glamourglambert @jasminee97 @starrynite7114 @gemini0410 @rocketqueen @mack-jay @megapeacelovemusic-blog @weasleytwins-41 @achievement-hunters-blog54 @taurean-brat @multifandom-girlie @anythingandeverything97 @spookyboogyuniverse @armiehammersleftsock @sariche @Pietschalexis26

MAYANS MC TAGLIST: @blessedboo @60shannon @bellisperennis0 @capnsaveahoe @diaryofkali @behindmyeyes-insidemyhead @xvvalx @missswritings @theocatkov @pinguinstudiert @chibsytelford @encounterthepast @rawrlittlepanda-95 @beeroses @siriussnape07 @adaydreamaway08 @miss-nori85 @oldstuffnewstuff @omg-mymelaninisbeautiful @jatriciaaa @browneyes912 @cole-winchester @blackksunflower12 @phoenixhalliwell @cant-decide-at-this-moment @love-mesome-me @holl2712 @jennisdirtyimagines @balladbloodwrites

[storiesforallfandoms]

we’re too stupid ~ the vlog squad

word count: 1885

request?: yes!

@iawaythrown​  “May I ask for a vlog squad x popular youtube reader

The reader has their own very popular youtube channel/podcast like a scientific/space podcast. (Like a Vsauce\GameTheory channel) The vlog squad and the reader fan base (somehow) always wants them to collab. One day David says "It won't happen because the reader probably doesn't like us." This ends up getting everyone on the podcast.”

description: when their favorite youtubers show interest in being on their podcast, they jump at the chance to invite them on

pairing: vlog squad x gender neutral!reader

warnings: swearing

masterlist (one, two)

“You know what I’ve been listening to a lot lately?” Scotty asked David on the newest vlog David had uploaded. You were watching the vlog on your TV while you prepared to upload the newest episode of your podcast. You had a drink half raised to your lips when Scott responded to his own question, “The Spaced Out podcast.”

Your drink nearly slipped from your hand at the mention of your podcast. You were sure you had imagined it, so you went back and repeated the part just to be sure. The name of your podcast slipped from Scott’s lips again and you had to pause the video to scream with excitement.

When you placed the video again, David spoke next. “Oh wait, is that the one about space and shit? You played it for me before.”

“Yeah! Man, it’s so interesting. I could honestly listen to the host talk about space all day,” Scott said.

“He keeps bringing it up during the Scottcast, too,” Jeff commented. “I’m starting to think he’d rather co-host that podcast instead of our own.”

“Man, I’d love to be on that podcast!”

You could hardly contain your excitement. Your favorite YouTubers knew who you were?! They knew your podcast?! You had to be dreaming, you were sure of it.

“There’s no way they’d ever have us on the podcast,” David was saying. “We’re too stupid and immature, they’d probably hate us.”

“Speak for yourself!” Zane, dressed in some weird costume for a bit, called, causing the boys to laugh together.

This gave you an idea. You put your laptop aside and opened Instagram on your phone. You searched the name “David Dobrik” and went to his DMs.

~~~~~~

A week later, your podcasting room was filled with 11 extra people than there normally was. The room was only small with a handful of seats, so a lot of your guests were squeezed in together or basically sat on one another. No one seemed to mind, though. Every single person in the room was super excited to be there.

“What’s up all my space geeks? Welcome back to another episode of The Spaced Out podcast, the podcast where we discuss super nerdy space things,” you started with your usual intro. “Today’s episode is a little different, though, as today I am joined by not one, not two, not even three, but eleven special guests. You heard me right, eleven. Special guests, wanna say hi?”

All eleven of your guests rang out with a chorus of, “Hello!”s at the one time, making it all come out as just a shouting mess. You laughed and waved a hand to silence them.

“In case you had trouble understanding what they were saying,” you said, “my guests today are David, Scotty, Toddy, Zane, Erin, Carly, Natalie, Heath, Mariah, Corinna, and Jeff, better known as a large chunk of YouTube’s biggest vlogging group: The Vlog Squad!”

The Vlog Squad cheered at their introduction as you just clapped your hands.

“Can I just say,” Heath said once the noise started to die down, “that I am impressed with how fast you said our names and how easy it was. You didn’t even stutter once.”

“I’ll be honest, when David told me exactly who was coming I prepared myself for this,” you admitted. “I’ve never had so many guests on the show before. Actually, I don’t know if I’ve ever had any guests at all. I don’t really know anyone in my real life that’s as interested in space and science as I am.”

“To be fair, none of us are, either,” Jeff joked, causing the room to laugh.

“Yeah, you picked the wrong people to be on your podcast,” Corinna added.

“You don’t have to have any sort of interest to be on the podcast, really. As long as you don’t mind me talking about my nerdy space obsession every now and then anyone is welcome on the podcast.”

Your heart was beating so fast you were sure everyone else could hear it. You were shocked that you were managing to remain so calm in that moment. Your favorite YouTubers were sitting right there in front of you, being guests on your podcast, and somehow you were acting as though they were just friends that you had convinced to come on the podcast.

“Is there any cool space facts you can share with us to get the ball rolling?” David asked.

“Dude, I’ve made over 300 episodes of this podcast that is literally all about space, you gotta narrow down your parameters there,” you told him.

“What’s your favorite space fact then?”

You thought for a moment, going through all the little facts you had in your mind. There was so much you could share with them that you really didn’t know where to start.

“Okay,” you said finally, “I have one. I think David will like this cause we all know he’s made of money: there is a planet that is called 55 Cancri e. It is over twice the size of Earth and it is potentially made of diamonds.”

They all gasped and made comments of astonishment at the same time at this.

“Like, literally made of diamonds?” Corinna asked.

“It’s hard to know for sure. It’s roughly 41 lightyears away so it’s not exactly easy to reach, but they think it’s made of graphite and diamonds,” you explained. “My favorite fact, and one that’s a little scary, is that it’s actually completely silent in space. Like not a single sound, because atmospheres around planets are what contain the soundwaves to make noise.”

“I told you,” David said, turning to face Scott. “We’re too stupid to be on this podcast.”

You all laughed together. “You guys aren’t stupid! I was just fascinated with space as a child and my parents let me feed into that fascination. They always bought me books about space and brought me to visit certain space centers. I was that kid that always said she was gonna grow up and be an astronaut. Instead, I just talk about them on the internet.”

Everything was going so well. You were getting to know your guests and they kept urging you to tell them facts and stories about space. You knew a lot of what you were telling them you had talked about on the podcast before, so devoted listeners probably wouldn’t be too interested in a lot of what you had to say in that episode, but you didn’t mind too much. You just loved to see the looks of astonishment on everyone’s faces as you continued to tell them fact after fact.

When you came to a segment you did in the podcast in which you would read messages from fans, you decided to your guests choose which messages to read and respond to. David took the tablet you used for this first and read through the thousands of messages you received between uploading your most recent episode and recording the current one.

“Are you going to talk about the new 4K pictures of Mars?” he read.

“Oh my God, yes!” you responded. “That will be next episode. I haven’t looked at them all yet because I wanna have a live reaction to them, but I did see one picture and it looks absolutely stunning.”

“It blew my mind how it just looked like a desert here,” Carly commented. “Mars is a lot more like Earth than we think. Sucks that we’ll never be able to live there or anything.”

“I don’t think we’ll never be able to live there, but I don’t think it’ll happen in our lifetimes,” you commented. “But that’s a whole other thing, let’s move on from that.”

“What has been your favorite space related story of the past year?” Natalie read the message she had picked.

“I don’t know if it’s my favorite, but it’s definitely one that I was very interested in reading: a star just vanished in 2020,” you responded. “Apparently that’s something that can just happen, stars can just suddenly disappear and no one knows where they went. This star from the Kinman dwarf galaxy that shined almost brighter than the sun just vanished between 2011 and 2020, and they have no explanation for it. That story stuck with me the most cause I just find it funny that a star that bright just vanished and no one can figure out where it went.”

They continued reading you messages for a while before passing your tablet back to you.

“While I wish I could sit here with you guys and talk about space and your vlogs forever, unfortunately we are running out of time,” you said. “I want to thank the Vlog Squad again for joining me on this episode, and I hope I didn’t bore you guys to death with my stories and facts.”

“Not at all!” David spoke. “I can’t speak for everyone, but I really enjoyed myself. Listening to you talk was really interesting.”

The rest of the group agreed. You tried not to blush from all their kind words.

“I always wanna thank our sponsors again. As always I appreciate them supporting my show, and of course I want you guys, the listeners. Your constant support for the show means so much to me. If you wanna hear more fun facts about space that you’ll never use in live, follow me on my social media. If you’re not already following the podcast, follow the podcast! I upload episodes every Friday, and if you want to be involved in the show be sure to send me your space related messages and maybe I’ll read them out on the next episode. Have a good weekend, little space geek out!”

You ended the recording and the group almost cheered for you. You smiled and stood to thank them again for coming on the show. You were shocked when Corinna pulled you into a hug, which caused the rest of the group to hug you one by one.

“This was the most fun I think I’ve ever had,” Erin commented. “Would you be open to having more guests on the show? I’d love to come back and to just listen to you talk for a full hour.”

The rest of the squad agreed. You really didn’t think you could feel any more excited or on cloud nine, but they kept surprising you.

“I would definitely be open to having guests again,” you replied. “If you guys ever wanna be on the show again, just send me a DM. I’d love to have you!”

“We’d love to have you on the vlogs sometime, too, if you’d be open for that,” David told you.

There they go again, making you feel like you had passed cloud nine and now were on a completely different planet with excitement.

“Y-Yeah!” you managed. “Of course, I’d love that!”

After some more small talk, you showed the group out and thanked them again for coming. Once you were sure they were gone and unable to see you, you began jumping for joy and exclaiming with excitement. You couldn’t believe it! You had just hosted a podcast with your favorite people, and they asked you to join them for filming sometime?!

“This is the best day of my life!”

[beautifulterriblequeen]

For the kisses prompt: 7 or 41

…to shut them up.

Oh man, this one is cute!

He was doing that hand thing again, Ethari noted with soft amusement, clasping his forearms behind his back. That, and the word salad, tossing bits of sentences willy-nilly like bright sprays of splashed water, sparkling but brief in their glory, falling back into shadowed silence that spawned them.

Tell me, Runaan, Ethari thought yearningly. You can find the end of one of those sentences, I know you can! Yet he did his best to keep his own expression politely smooth, as if Runaan weren’t stumbling his way through the most awkward love confession in the history of the Moonshadow elves.

“...And, and... I find your... your... h-hands very, ah...” Runaan’s gaze zipped past Ethari’s and found his shoulder, tracing his lithe, muscled arm down to his gently clasped fingers. A blush formed on his cheeks, deepening the soft lilac of his skin to a heated rose.

Ethari just barely managed to keep a smirk off his face as he flexed his hands slowly. Runaan’s tongue stuttered to a halt as if he’d suddenly choked on it.

“Skilled,” Runaan squeaked.

Moon and shadow, he’s adorable! Ethari bit the inside of his lip to keep from grinning and embarrassing the poor elf. “You honor me with your regard, Runaan,” he replied with a deferential dip of his horns. “A craftsman always appreciates the notice of one whose expertise in his field is undeniable.”

Those were the words that slipped easily off Ethari’s tongue. But inside his head, and ringing in his heart, his thoughts were nearly frantic with excitement. Is he telling me, is this real? Is this it?

It seemed so. Runaan heard Ethari’s deflection of his praise and took a half-step forward as if to redirect it again. Toward Ethari’s lips, if Runaan’s locked-on-target gaze was any indication. “You always seem to know how I want it-- ah, um, how I like to--I, I...”

Ethari’s dark brows rose softly as Runaan stumbled from one unintentional innuendo to the next. Oh dear, he’s never done this before in his life, has he?

Runaan seemed to take Ethari’s raised eyebrows as some kind of judgement. His hands finally released each other behind his back and reached toward Ethari as if they could catch this toppling conversation and right it upon some imaginary pedestal where he had placed it. “I, I’m not saying this right at all,” he muttered through his teeth.

No, don’t stop now. This is the cutest thing I’ve ever heard. Ethari reached for Runaan’s wrists and encircled them gently, ready to let go in a moment’s notice if the assassin found his touch unhelpful. “Tell me plainly then, Runaan. I promise, I’ll hear you out.” He brushed a gentle thumb caress across the tops of Runaan’s forearms.

The poor assassin seemed to short-circuit, and his turquoise eyes widened so far that Ethari knew he could just tumble into them and not come up for hours. Or maybe ever.

“Tell me,” Ethari repeated. “Just me. Our secret.”

Runaan physically leaned in, the longing in him was so strong. But he caught himself and clung to Ethari’s wrists for stability. “Our secret...” he breathed.

Ethari leaned in, too, until their noses were nearly touching. Runaan’s trembling was more obvious, this close. “I’ll never tell a soul, unless you say so.”

“I...” Runaan gulped and licked his lips. He met Ethari’s eyes for a few heaving breaths, not realizing how hard he was squeezing the craftsman’s wrists. Then he lifted his chin and closed his eyes, taking a slow breath that seemed to soothe away much of his panic. When he opened them again, they clung to Ethari’s for an endlessly still moment.

“I love you,” Runaan whispered. “I love you, Ethari.”

Ethari couldn’t help the happy gasp that overtook him. He’d waited so long to hear those words from Runaan, never sure they’d ever be spoken aloud. And now, here they were. He squeezed Runaan’s wrists tightly. I am so proud of you! You did it! I really need to thank Lain later.

But Runaan’s floodgates had opened, encouraged by Ethari’s soft excitement. “I love your work, of course I do. It’s magnificent. Everything you create is magic. No, of course, sometimes you enchant it with actual magic, I know that, but there’s that metaphorical magic in it too, because you work with such love for your creations, and it fills my heart with joy to see you truly love what you do, because... because that’s good and right, and... you deserve to love your work, and I want you to be happy, Ethari, your smile is a blessing that lights my world every time I see it, and I would do very nearly anything to see you smile again--save of course for taking someone, that’s not how that works--but just about anything else, I would do anything else for you, because you are the light in my sky, and I think of you when I perhaps shouldn’t, but I can’t help it, you are all the things I crave, Ethari, light and life and warmth and softness, and I know I’m not worthy of your regard, I know what I am, and what I’ve done, and I don’t ask for anything in return, but if you could see your way clear to letting me bask in the glow of your presence, to savor the radiance of your heart, I would be forever in your--mmmff!”

Ethari’s sudden kiss silenced Runaan’s heartfelt rambling, and the workshop filled with a different kind of warmth. The air softened, brightened, as if radiating its own protective light. The sort of light you can only feel with your eyes closed and your arms around a blushing assassin, gently pinning his arms behind his back and listening to the soft, startled noises he makes.

Ethari restrained himself to just the one kiss so he didn’t overwhelm Runaan’s already emotional state. He reluctantly let Runaan’s lips part from his own, feeling the assassin tremble and shiver in his arms, holding him softly and supportively. Resting their foreheads together, Ethari murmured, “I love you, too, Runaan.”

“You- You do?” Runaan blurted.

Ethari chuckled. “I really do.” And he kissed him again to prove it.

Runaan wound his arms around Ethari’s neck and leaned in eagerly. When they came up for air, he clung to Ethari and murmured into his scarf, “So... what now? I confess, I didn’t, um, didn’t know how to plan for this next bit, if you, ah, felt the same way, so I’ve uh, I haven’t any...” The blushing assassin cleared his throat and chuckled at his obvious flailing. He glanced up at Ethari from beneath lowered lashes. “I’m at your mercy, I’m afraid.”

Ethari threw back his head and laughed as he clasped Runaan tightly and spun him around a few times before setting him back down. He took the masterpiece that was Runaan’s face in his strong, skilled craftsman’s hands and studied every inch of its familiar beauty. “Don’t worry, Runaan,” he murmured. “I have all the mercy in the world.”

[victorsandvanquishers]

#29 and #41 for Asta and anybody really,,,,, please

This is my first attempt at a full-length AsuYuno fic; I hope you enjoy it! (ᵔᴥᵔ)

----

“SORRY I'M LATE!”

Asta barreled into the Golden Dawn's medical bay, nearly throwing Owen off of his stool as various members of the kingdom's most popular squad gave him wary looks. Mimosa was the only one who smiled hesitantly, while Owen fixed his glasses, took a deep breath, and resumed treating his patient.

Yuno merely blinked at the intrusion.

Despite the broken ankle, the taller of the Hage orphans sat still and proper on the bed, nary a hair out of place as the court's best doctor worked on finishing the cast for his leg. Owen had been putting on the finishing touches before Asta had barged in.

“Why are you even here!?” Belle followed up with a screech, while Klaus's stress levels steadily increased. “Just because you married him doesn't mean you have to come running here every time!”

“Miss Belle, I think marriage is exactly that,” Mimosa said sheepishly, trying to soothe the tiny sprite and doing the exact opposite. Belle blushed hard as fumes began steaming out of her ears.

Before all hell could break loose, and more ankles could be broken, William Vangeance most graciously made an appearance. By then, Asta was beside Yuno, firmly holding one of his hands as Owen finally finished the cast and wiped his brow with a sigh of relief.

“All done, now keep off your feet for the next few days. I'll have the crutches delivered by the end of the week. Until then,” Owen moved his gaze to Asta, “don't do anything stupid.”

Asta nodded vigorously while Yuno merely blinked, as if bored stiff by the whole affair. Before Belle could break into another tirade, William cleared his throat and all eyes turned to him.

“I believe we should give Asta and Yuno a few minutes. If the rest of you could follow me into the courtyard, I'd greatly appreciate it.”

The other members followed swiftly behind their captain, while Belle took some nudging, and finally threats of being banned from Yuno's bedside, before finally turning away. Owen waved as he portal'd out, and finally, Asta and Yuno were alone.

Asta still held Yuno's hand.

“I want tatoes,” Yuno said softly. “Take me to that diner you like to eat at – the one owned by your friend.”

Asta blinked, and immediately began to frown. “Owen-san just said to stay off your feet. I'll ask Finral-senpai to get you some.”

“No,” Yuno huffed, “I want to go to the diner.”

“But you just broke your ankle!” Asta all but screeched.

“Then carry me,” and Asta saw the smile before he realized that Yuno found all of this less troublesome than a mouse skittering across the kitchen floor.

Asta huffed and puffed, but secured one arm underneath Yuno's legs and the other supporting his back before hoisting the taller man up off the bed and into his arms. Yuno barely made a sound, and simply wrapped both arms around Asta's shoulders before tucking his head into the crook of Asta's neck despite being a foot and some inches taller. Asta sighed and began walking, knowing full well that Belle, Owen, Klaus, and even Mimosa would chew him out for catering to Yuno's unreasonable whims.

They were in the air, quietly surfing on the black sword as they neared Rebecca Scarlet's diner in Nean when Yuno finally grumbled irritably into his ear. “Stop brooding, or I'll jump off and fly myself to the diner.”

Asta huffed again, but held the man tighter than before. He could feel Yuno smile into his skin and snuggle into his neck. Asta's face burned red and he found himself blushing and pouting so hard, Yuno started to chuckle.

“'s not funny,” Asta grumbled, chewing on his cheek. Yuno should've been tucked into the hospital bed while Asta held one of his hands, hands bound forever while Noelle yelled at him from the comms device about being late to his own husband's foot casting party in the Golden Dawn's medical bay.

But instead, they were flying towards a small diner in a city miles from the Golden Dawn headquarters, and Asta was doing it for Yuno.

Just like Yuno had once done it for him.

How many years had it been since half his body had transformed into a cross between a demon and a human, once he'd finalized the deal with the demon residing in his grimoire? He counted three, no five years since the demon took one arm, a leg, half of Asta's head, and finished with a portion of his torso before declaring Asta fifty percent demon. Today, at the tender age of twenty-two, he sported rough black and red skin where the demon had taken possession, a horn that curved like a ram's, one eye whose sclera was black and pupil red, and leathery black skin with red cracks that inked half of his face, the base of his throat, and a part of his chest.

When the transformation was first complete, people feared him as much as they loathed him, but he'd done the deed anyway. It had been five years since they took on Spade and won, and it had only happened because Asta had succumbed to the demon crooning in his ear, promising him all the power he'd ever need to protect his loved ones. And he'd turned – he'd turned into a screeching bat out of Hell, and he'd fought, and he'd won.

It was a cost he'd been willing to pay, and he had. Afterwards, his execution order had turned into an exile order, and he'd been cast out – with the rest of the Black Bulls and Yuno following him in tow.

And then it had been the rest of Golden Dawn, the Green Mantis, Dorothy and her Peacocks, every other knight and foot soldier of Clover Kingdom who rose against Damnatio's decree, and finally, Julius Novachrono himself. What was a Wizard King without one of his most trusted knights? Asta had never meant to start a civil war, but that was what had happened, and it was a war that ended within hours, when House Vermillion and House Silva called for Kira to step down, to declare a new king for a new age, a king who wouldn't exile the peasant who saved the land.

Asta had never asked for that much. He'd only wanted to save the lives of the ones he loved the most. He'd wanted to make it long enough to ask Sister Lily to marry him again, for him to return home to Hage as a hero, and to sleep underneath the stars again. He'd never asked for Yuno and others to do what they did, had never asked them to put themselves in danger for his sake, and to bring their world into a new age.

But they had – and Yuno had led the front. A son of Spade who'd denounced his heritage and remained loyal to the small village called Hage, Yuno had effortlessly shed the secret of his birth and moved on. Yuno could have become king, could have written his own story without the burden Asta carried on his shoulders, but he'd stayed.

He'd stayed, held Asta's hand while Asta cried in pain because of the transformation, held him when he bled from the black and red cracks, and loved him when Asta had believed no one would ever love him again.

And when all was said and done, Yuno had married him in the same church they grew up in. He still remembered the day, almost a year ago now, when it finally dawned on him that he was marrying his childhood best friend, the one who was always his other half, from the basket they'd both been abandoned in. Up until that moment, he'd truly believed it would be Sister Lily opposite him at the altar, but she'd been in the front row with Father Orsi and the rest of the orphans that day, wiping away tears from her watery eyes while Yuno held both his hands – the human's and the demon's.

So who was Asta to deny a man asking for some tatoes, after he'd just broken his ankle?

“Honestly, how did you even do it?” Asta yelled out loud, the wind rushing in his ears. “Did you land wrong or something?”

Yuno took a minute to answer. “... I actually fell out of an apple tree,” he said hesitantly. “I was trying to pick some for a pie tonight, but my foot went through a branch, and I was on the ground before I knew it.”

Asta would have facepalmed if he could. “Seriously!?”

“I don't wanna hear anything out of your mouth, Hands McBreaky,” Yuno grumbled.

Asta grumbled back at him, and they kept grumbling at each other until they eventually dissolved into peals of laughter. Yuno kissed the leathery black skin of the right side of his face, and breathed deeply into his neck. Asta decreased his speed as they neared the diner, holding Yuno as close as he could without crushing him. The familiar scent, the warmth the taller man emanated quelled any unease he had left.

Once they were close enough, Asta lowered the sword, hopped off, and walked the remaining paces to the diner. The meal itself was simple, baked tatoes and some brandy to wash it down, but Yuno was happy, and Rebecca was endearing as always, and Asta knew then, knew forever, that it didn't matter how late they were to get to each other's side – at the end of the day, they'd still carry each other home. Broken arms and ankles aside, the tatoes were delicious and Asta was happy.

On their way back, Yuno fell asleep in the crook of his neck, and Asta hummed contently as the black sword took them home.

[wristcheckstore]

Seiko Prospex Samurai SRPF79K1 “Save the Ocean” Special Edition One of the Most Requested Seiko Watch at WristCheck.Store

o many Customers can't be wrong Right why is the diving watch so popular? I took a closer look at it for you and found out some amazing things.

About WristCheck.Store

The Internet portal WristCheck.Store is specialized in the online sales of watches of considerable manufacturers such as Gucci, Emporio Armani, Oris, Tissot, Hamilton, or Seiko.

Buying a luxury watch is a moment to cherish, but it shouldn’t cost you an arm and a leg.

My name is Joel. I love watches and I wanted to create a place where others could search for the best watches online for a great price. In my experience, finding the best price online takes a lot of time and effort. Many people do not have the time to shop around and miss out on the best prices.

That’s where I come in. With WristCheck, you can be sure to get a more competitive price than most web retailers and save 20% or more on your purchases. You can choose from our wide selection of watches or send us a special request via email to get you the best price. We source our watches from several vendors within the US, Europe, and Asia. This allows us to offer wholesale prices for a wide variety of luxury watches, produced with the highest quality in material and design. Because we ship from multiple warehouses, please allow for up to 4-5 working days for any items that may ship from international warehouses. In cases where the delivery is quicker, we shall send you a message to let you know.

Seiko Prospex Samurai SRPF79K1 “Save the Ocean” Special Edition Review

Seiko’s Prospex with the reference number SRPF79K1 and the nickname Samurai is in many ways an exciting watch, which offers a lot at first glance and appeals to a wide target group. A well-known manufacturer, a professional diving watch with an automatic movement and an iconic design are just four of the features that Seiko’s Prospex Samurai SRPF79K1 uses to captivate potential buyers. Understandably, who wouldn’t be intrigued by these features?

The Prospex Samurai SRPF79K1 is all about Seiko’s “Save the Ocean” campaign, which the traditional Japanese manufacturer uses to advertise. In the spring of 2018, they entered into a partnership with ocean conservationist Fabien Cousteau.

The oceanographer is fully committed to protecting marine biodiversity. The Fabien Costeau Learning Center has been in existence since 2016. The facility is intended to become an information center for the protection of the oceans. Costeau wants to bring together marine biologists, environmentalists, divers and other experts here to educate about climate change and its consequences. As a world-renowned manufacturer of diving watches, Seiko is supporting the project. Across its product range, there are model collections in a “Save the Ocean” special edition. When you purchase one of these products, Seiko donates a portion of the proceeds to the Fabien Costeau Learning Center. That sounds worthy of support and somehow too good to be true. What’s the catch?

The first impression

From a black cardboard box with a silver Seiko inscription, I take out the Seiko watch still wrapped in protective foil. “Prospex – Save the Ocean” is written on the inside lid of the box.  The Seiko Prospex Samurai SRPF79K1 is a bulky diver with a massive buckle closing the silicone strap. I twist and turn the watch. Immediately, the wave design of the dial catches the eye, revealing that this is a “Save the Ocean” model. Last year, Seiko already introduced two new Prospex models from the “Save the Ocean” series that bear the distinctive surface structure. On a blue background are manta rays that seem to float across the dial. Combined with the blue bracelet, this is a perfect match for a diver’s watch with this name.

I touch the cold surface and touch the Seiko Prospex Samurai SRPF79K1 for the first time. The watch feels very valuable. Huge dashes as indices, a date magnifier, and a countdown bezel give the Seiko model its classic diver design. In terms of naming its watches, Seiko is in a class of its own. The Seiko Prospex Samurai SRPF79K1 owes its nickname “Samurai” primarily to the design of the hour and minute hands. This is inspired by historical samurai swords. The watch manufacturer is proud of its roots in the country of Japan.

The Seiko Prospex Samurai SRPF79K1 on the wrist

Flipping it over, I’m amazed how light the Seiko Prospex Samurai SRPF79K1 is on the wrist. With a diameter of a massive 44 millimeters and a height of 13 millimeters, the diver’s watch really doesn’t have to hide. The low weight, on the other hand, is astounding. Finding matching outfits for the Seiko watch does not turn out to be a great difficulty. The sporty casual design suits many occasions. At the same time, the Seiko Prospex Samurai SRPF79K1 brings a certain prestige to the wrist with its sheer size. However, you should like the size and flashiness of a watch. The timepiece does not know the word understatement. But for me, these dimensions simply belong to a diver’s watch!

The Seiko Prospex Samurai SRPF79K1 in detail

The case

For the case of its Prospex Samurai in “Save the Ocean” design, Seiko put a lot of emphasis on good build quality. The solid case structure is made of stainless steel, which has both polished and brushed surfaces, depending on the component. As you can easily see on the back, the middle part is visually separated from the lugs. The dial is protected by sapphire crystal. In the manufacturing process, Seiko made it anti-reflective, which benefits the readability under water. Those who really want to use the watch on the high seas or underwater will quickly appreciate this feature. I find the date magnifier at 3 o’clock very useful and well done. Most of us will probably associate Rolex watches with it.

The crown has a size that matches the watch, which makes it easy to operate. In the first stage, it is completely covered by a crown protector. In everyday life, this improves the wearing comfort immensely. The screw-down crown also stands out due to its easy-to-grip surface structure. If you turn it now, you’ll notice the slight play that the crown has. In my experience, this is a great relief when setting the time and date. The hands never shoot forward too quickly, so you can set the time accurately.

Bezel and case back

The bezel is a diver’s bezel or countdown bezel. The tactile feel when the clicks engage is outstanding! Visually, it frames the lighter dial.

The cashback is screwed down six times. Instead of the usual date window, you’ll find the famous engraved waves on Seiko watches, reminiscent of “the great wave of Kanagawa”, a famous Japanese painting. If you search a little bit, you will also find your production number. 163 is the number of my Seiko Prospex Samurai SRPF79K.

In its case, the Seiko Prospex Samurai SRPF79K1 withstands a possible water pressure of 20 bar. 200 meters maximum diving depth would be possible. However, hardly any amateur diver will penetrate into these spheres.

The movement

For the movement, Seiko uses an automatic movement from its own production. In this case, it’s a Seiko 4R35 caliber, which is very reliable and durable. For the number freaks among you: with 23 jewels, the Seiko 4R35 has a power reserve of 41 hours. The oscillation frequency is 21600 vibrations per hour.

The Seiko Prospex Samurai SRPF79K1 shows itself at its best…

…with the dial. The wave structure is something completely new, which I actually haven’t seen on a diver’s watch like this before. With the neatly printed rays, it gives the Seiko Prospex Samurai SRPF79K1 a very interesting design.

And it is practical, too. That should be the focus for diving watches. The large line indices ensure perfect readability. To guarantee that even at night and in the dark, Seiko has given Samurai hands and indices a luminous function. Apart from the manufacturer’s lettering, the 200M indication, and the rectangular date window, there are no other elements on the dial. But that’s how it should be, after all – simple and straightforward.

Perfect for the water: the silicone strap of the Seiko Prospex Samurai SRP

Silicone and rubber straps have emerged as one of the best solutions for diving watches. They do not age and are easily adjustable. This is also the case with the huge specimen that my Seiko Prospex Samurai SRPF79K1 is equipped with. The buckle is made of stainless steel and bears the engraved Seiko lettering. However, what I liked the most about the bracelet is its practicality. In addition, it is quite comfortable to wear.

My conclusion about the Seiko Prospex Samurai SRPF79K1 – a diver’s watch for everyone.

I can understand why this Seiko diver with the reference number SRPF79K1 is so popular among customers. This Seiko Prospex in the “Save the Ocean” special edition is the diver’s watch for everyone! It looks exactly how you would imagine a diver’s watch to look: large, blue-black, with a bezel and a dial to match. On top of that, there are good materials, a high-quality finish, and stand-out features like the maritime skate design.

This already very good overall package is comparatively affordable. This makes the Seiko Prospex Samurai SRPF79K1 interesting for collectors and beginners alike.

If you have any questions or feedback, we would love to hear from you! Please contact us at sales@wristcheck.store and we will be able to help you with any inquiry you have.

[readbetweenthelineslove]

Thoughts While Watching SK Homecoming

I was literally smiling and laughing like an idiot while watching these wonderful amazing people and thinking of all of the memories from years of enjoying their musicals. I am so glad I bought the digital download because they deserve all of the love and support. Just a word of warning I will be spoiling what happens throughout the show so if you haven’t seen it yet and/or you don’t want to have anything spoiled for you, I would not proceed any further. You have been warned. Also, as the show is over two hours long, buckle in cause this is gonna be a doozy and I have a lot of feeling about this wonderful show.

Disclaimer: these are just my own personal thoughts and opinions as a long time fan of Starkid, please don’t come at me.

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1. Darren is so cute with how he encourages and interacts with the crowd, you can tell how much he loves Starkid and loves the fans

2. we stan a founding knucklehead of Starkid

3. I am so proud of the musical daddies as they conduct a literal orchestra!! how far they have come!!! also, hearing all of the songs with the orchestra is such a treat.

4. I am living for Jeff Blims outfit! the eyeliner, the necklace, the vest!! honestly, iconic.

5. It is so funny to me that they had to edit out fuck from their songs, i.e. “i mean what the what”; “tiger lover”; “he porked a tiger”.

6. Did they change the octave that they were singing, because Jeff seems to be struggling?

7. I love how Jon Matteson looks the same as he did TGWDLM, he is Paul.

8. I don’t know why but the TGWDLM medley is increasing my appreciation for Jeff, previously who wasn’t really on my radar in terms of my favorite starkids, but I love his little dance moves and funny things he does

9. Robert Manion fucking performs the hell out of show stopping number and I am here for it every single time. I feel like he can’t help it and you can tell he’s into it because he can’t help but make the Hidgins face and wiggle his hips. Also, THE BODY ROLLS I AM LIVING FOR THEM !!! (@9:10)

10. Both Mariah and Jon are confirmed working boys and I love them for it. I love that Corey brought Mariah in at the end to make sure she was included.

11. Okay but Lauren Lopez knows how to perform like she knows how to work and engage a live audience. I so enjoy watching performances like this where there isn’t a wall between performer and audience because I think that that’s when she shines. I also feel like the same applies to Rob, Joey, and Darren, they are just so fun to watch.

12. How are all of these people so attractive!! I especially love Lauren’s outfit, but that’s probably just cause I love her so much.

13. I don’t know why but Brian’s “I still don't know!!” at 12:08 gets me every time.

14. Joey’s look behind him for his shadow at 12:24 while he bops kills me.

15. The orchestral swell at 13:05 with “this is the dawn” is so beautiful.

16. Lauren's arms are unbelievable, but we already knew that

17. 14:43 where Joey and Lauren walk and then turn back is so funny to me.

18. The second naked in a lake kicked in at 17:05, I got so hype. also, love that Corey took off his jacket during the song.

19. All the different faces and actions during the “fasters” at 19:54 are so good.

20. I never realized how tall and gangly Clark was until the Ani section, the boy's limbs are too long for his own good and I love it. His voice is so beautiful though!!

21. Joe calling Twisted the first-ever live-action Disney remake is iconic and no one can tell me otherwise.

22. I was legitimately afraid for the buttons on Joe’s shirt at 27:43.

23. Britney Coleman and Carlos Valdez singing 1001 Nights was a wonderful surprise and literally so beautiful, also their exit as Dylan started singing was so cute.

24. I’m kind of sad that they didn’t actually sing Twisted in the medley cause that was one of my favorite songs, but I understand that they had time constraints.

25. After 32:38, I feel like I need to watch the Lego Batman movie to see how similar it is to HMB.

26. Semi-disappointed that they didn’t do the usual choreography for the “I want to be your friend forever” part, but I respect that the handheld mics restricted them.

27. The bass or guitar or whatever in the background at 36:30 was so groovy, I was a fan of that.

28. Tbh, I didn’t really get Denise’s whole bit about how Starship is a show only for dreamers, it just felt a little off to me.

29. I’m a little bummed that Joey didn’t sing Status Quo, but I like that they gave it to Mariah and Alex who both have lovely voices. I appreciate that they had a moment to shine when they might not have because they are newer members/ only had a small role.

30. Brian and Jaime’s eye contact with the camera at 40:48 is so powerful and I’m here for it.

31. Joey mouthing the lyrics at 41:21 is so funny and I love it.

32. AJ’s little jump in the background at 43:02 is so cute.

33. Their constant need to have to avoid saying dick throughout the whole MAMD section is so good and hilarious, with so many expertly timed entrances from AJ Holmes and Joe Walker.

34. Joey saying no to the different microphones at 44:00 is absolutely artistic and fucking hysterical. It gave me similar vibes to Bo Burnham’s bit about seeing the most beautiful penis at a urinal.

35. 45:40, AJ Holmes is a delight of a man, need I say more.

36. “Do I smell?” “Pretty bad.” 45:07

37. Seeing Meredith and Brian standing next to each other at 48:49 makes my heart so happy cause this is what brought them together and now they are married and it’s amazing.

38. “We’ve written on all of the Starkid shows” 50:46, what a powerful statement.

39. I had no clue that the Starkid movie (1997) was a thing and I love that Nick just straight-up roasted it.

40. The subtitles at 52:56, dramatical instrumental music. I am here for it, I love this revamped version

41. Darren is so extra singing Goin back to Hogwarts and I am here for it. Our boy has grown so much! 

42. Pulling out the glasses at 54:03 is a power move.

43. I’m not sure about how I feel about people singing along to the songs during this. I know it is supposed to be for the fans but don’t people want to just sit back and listen to how amazing these people are and just enjoy. Maybe that’s just cause I only am viewing it through a computer and if I had been there I might have felt different, but who knows.

44. 56:05, AAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!! It’s Bonnie!!! She looks amazing and I’m so happy that she’s here!!!

45. Joey trying to the clap in the ear with mic at 58:04.

46. 58:16, I love how Darren always hypes up the crowd for Lauren’s entrances as Draco, he’s done this a number of times and it makes my heart so happy how he supports his friends.

47. I love Lauren so much the way she moves across the stage at 58:57, the power stance at 59:05...absolutely incredible.

48. I love seeing Rob in the chorus cause he was a fan, he loves AVPM just as much as we do and now we get to see him up there performing one of the most iconic songs. It honestly just makes my heart so happy.

49. 1:00:12, Dylan emerging from the audience is honestly so funny to me and I love him for it. Also, I love the ongoing trope of the “welcome” getting progressively longer each time they perform the song. Bless Dylan’s lungs and abilities to sustain that note.

50. 1:03:45 Jim little butt taps are so good.

51. The saxophone at 1:04:19 is so enjoyable.

52. I like how the slowed things down for Home at 1:06:10 with Darren sitting on the stage just having a personal moment with the audience, it was really nice.

53. Darren’s hops at 1:08:45 are so adorable and I love them.

54. I know that AVPM songs are iconic and everyone loves them, but I would have liked to see them so some more songs from AVPS and AVPSY, especially since they had some time rehearse them and there would be no mic issues.

55. Yay for a Bonnie and Meredith duet, both women are wonderful and have done an amazing job as Hermione and I love them both.

56. “Art imitates life a little bit on that one”, it’s okay we love you Darren with your silly guitar.

57. I didn’t think watching this would be educational, but I now know what a litmus test is and what slant rhymes (aka really pushing it rhymes) are thanks to Darren and google, so there’s that.

58. This may be a bit controversial but I feel as though this was one of the weaker performances of Granger Danger, usually Joey and Lauren have fun with it and I love it when they do, but this time they seemed to be more going through the motions. There were good moments (i.e. Joey’s hips, Lauren sliding down the mic stand, the back and forth head turns) but overall it was just kind of eh.

59. Darren’s twirl at 1:28:36 is delightful.

60. I firmly believe that AJ has permanently memorized the fantasy monologue and I refuse to let anyone tell me otherwise, 1:31:10. Also, I’m curious if it was planned because someone in the audience calls out for it, but that might have been a plant so who knows.

61. I just realized at 1:32:20, where he’s talking about mouse wives and concubines that would be bestiality. He only shrunk his size down, he would still technically be a human...

62. Tyler Brunsman singing Guys like Potter is now kind of funny considering AVPSY and Cedric ending up with Lily in the afterlife.

63. Joe Moses face at 1:38:57 is classic Snape and I am here for it.

64. Another yay for Sidekick, this is one of my fav AVPSY songs and Joey kills it every time.

65. 1:43:19, goddamn that man can hit a high note.

66. I love the addition of Rob to Everything Ends, what a pretty song and Rob’s voice works wonderfully with it.

67. 1:44:58, Rob struggling with the mic is hilarious.

68. Classic Snape speech at 1:46:30, simply inspiring.

69. I love Jaime and we all know her voice is incredible, but something seemed off during Not Alone and at times it sounded like she was struggling.

70. 1:51:56, I don’t know if I just don’t know much about music but Joey’s make was a little off, but on another note, I think it would have been really sweet if they had let Lauren sing too so that Draco could finally add to that harmony.

71. That sick piano rift at 1:54:33, hell yeah!

72. Even though they always use Days of Summer as the closing song, I love it every time, it’s just so fun and gets me so emotional.

73. That key change at 1:56:50 tho.

74. Yay for enthusiastic but sometimes questionable fanart ;)

75. Brian and Joe recreating the ending scene of AVPM is absolutely beautiful and I am here for it.

76. The matching jackets at the end speaks to the fact that Starkid at its essence is just a bunch of friends who were theatre nerds and wanted to create something fun together and I think that's wonderful.

In conclusion: Props to whoever made it to the end of this ridiculously long post summarizing the different thoughts I had while watching Homecoming. I truly think it was something for the fans and I love them for it. I am so proud of Starkid and all they have accomplished since 2009.

I want to encourage others to continue to support Starkid in the future, maybe even by purchasing Homecoming for themselves, I would definitely recommend giving it a watch. Also, feel free to respond and let me know your own thoughts on Homecoming, I’m sure there’s lots I missed and I would love to hear what others thoughts. 

[thepriceisrizzoli]

not people

Filling a prompt from socks-lost about wanting to see Maura struggle with a panic attack after Killer in High Heels.

The tile feels cool on Maura’s forehead. 

Normally, she would shudder at the thought of the petri dish jungles that would grow as a result of a bacterial swab of this tile. But all that matters right now is that its coolness feels a little bit soothing.

What’s the event, even? Something for charity, but which? It doesn’t matter. These functions are all the same. Polite small talk, pledge money, move on. Manageable. She’s been doing it all her life.

Then her eyes had settled on the glass in her hand, and she couldn’t remember for certain who she’d accepted it from, or what might be in it, or if she’d already sipped any of it. 

And then suddenly, there were too many unknowns. Too much sensory input to cope with. Too many strange faces, and the backs of heads were almost worse. Too many people, too close, too loud. Every conversation in the room blending into one overwhelming drone. A dozen different perfumes and colognes choking her. Even the seams of her dress seemed to shrink, digging into her skin and restricting her breathing.

She really hopes she hadn’t made a scene on her way to the restroom. It wasn’t empty, and holding herself together for the extra thirteen steps it took to reach the privacy of this end stall was almost more than she could bear. The tears had burst from her before she even turned around to lock the door, quickly ruining the makeup she promised herself she wouldn’t have to reapply.

If only she could disappear without having to speak to anyone or be seen by anyone. Just blink and magically be at home. She feels pathetic and afraid and helpless in this little cell, which is as much like a cage as it is like temporary safety from the entire world. Though initially a relief, the solitude is now ringing in her ears as loudly as the cacophony of the crowd had. 

It’s only after a few breaths that she realizes part of that cacophony she had fled was Jane saying her name.

Jane is out there. Her plus one. Totally out of her element and only here to be supportive. She has every right to come bursting in here, complaining about being left stranded out there in a dress she hates, with a bunch of stuffy strangers, at a function she has no interest in.

Fresh tears spill at the realization that she’ll have no emotional energy to deal with that. Maura had run into this bathroom like a scared little animal looking for a crevice to crawl into, and if Jane reaches a hand in after her, she doesn’t know what she might do except shut down, or maybe bite.

The hand dryer goes off, exposing the sharpness of her breathing to the echoing quiet. She covers her mouth, eyes stinging and lungs burning from trying to silence her sobs. Over by the sinks a couple of younger women laugh, and even though she knows it’s not about her, somehow it sounds like it is. 

Door hinges. Maura recognizes the new set of footsteps even in the dialect of heel clicks instead of their native boot stomps. Then there they are in the little gap under the door: the sage almond pumps she picked out with Jane forty hours earlier, just to match a dress she’ll never wear a second time.

She braces.

“Maura?”

"Hm,” is all she can say without revealing her state.

“You okay?” Jane sounds... gentle.

How nice lying must be. She could say yes and Jane would go away and this would be one step closer to being over.

“I jus-st need a minute.”

She squeezes her eyes shut, holding her breath, too close to having her little bubble breached.

“Okay.”

The shoes disappear. Somebody runs the dryer and she can breathe again.

A minute later, something wedges in the crack of the stall door. A piece of paper.

Unfolding reveals it as a torn off piece of the glossy program she was handed when she entered the event. Her tears slow as she tries to understand the words written on it.

If you want company but don’t want to say a word, text me 1.

Company but I don’t talk either - 2

Stand over here and keep the dryer running - 3

Immediate escort off the premises no questions asked - 4

You need to be alone - 5

Anything else - name it. I have your back.

She has to read it four times before absorbing it, but once she does, it’s like a light turns on. 

Panic told her she was all alone. It had her lumping Jane in with people.

There is some whining and teasing, yes. But when something serious is happening, there could be no one more ferociously on her side than Jane Rizzoli. She has it all. Cop authority. Friend comforts. Big sister powers. She’s her go-to for anything and everything.

Jane isn’t people. Jane is Jane.

She finds her phone in her purse.

1.  Send.

Feet reappear within fifteen seconds. There is no knock.

She unlatches the door, opening it to find a soft smile waiting. It makes her wonder how awful she must look.

Despite the premise of the text she just sent, the first thing she does is start rambling.

“I just don’t kn-now wh-   I don’t know! I don’t know.”

Giving up on expressing herself, she pushes into Jane’s arms instead, repeating herself uselessly.

Jane walks them a step into the stall and pushes the door shut with her elbow. “Okay,” she wraps her arms around Maura and leans a cheek on her head. “Okay.”

“I don’t know.”

“Okay.”

“I don’t know who an-nyone is. I don’t-”

“You know me.”

Maura goes quiet, breathing hard. 

“Nobody’s here but you and me.” 

Jane's hand moves up and down her back. 

“You’re safe. I know it doesn’t feel okay, but it will be. We’ll just hang out here as long as it takes to feel more okay. And then we’ll go home. You don’t have to talk to a single person. Okay?”

Maura nods with a hiccupy sigh.

“Okay. Now just breathe with me.”

It takes time to realize that this isn’t a hug. It’s shaped like a hug, but a hug would’ve lasted just long enough to express sympathy, and this is not ending. This is a hold. And it makes her feel protected, and not alone. And it feels devastatingly good to just hide in and cry like there’s no time limit. Jane’s hands hold her securely, rubbing soft circles on her back. It helps calm her enough that when she opens her eyes again it’s almost a surprise to remember where they still are. If only it could continue this way, but at home instead of in a public bathroom stall.

She can’t tell how long they’ve been in there, but it’s probably been too long. Begrudgingly, she peels herself out of the embrace.

“Everything...  just..”

“Got cranked up to 11 all of a sudden?” Jane finishes quietly. “And all you wanna do is teleport home and curl up in a dark room and shut off.”

Maura heaves a sigh. “Yeah.”

"Let’s teleport.”

“Oh... I haven’t excused myself,” she realizes with a near-sob. “I didn’t say goodbye to our hosts.”

“I took care of it,” Jane shakes her head.

“What did you say?”

“I said something came up that required our attention and that you sent your appreciation and regrets and blah blah blah, it was fine. They think you left already. No one’s looking for you.”

Relief floods through her.

That’s why, come to think of it... Maura was in here for at least a few minutes on her own. It hadn’t occurred to her to wonder why Jane hadn’t followed her immediately. She was out there smoothing over the situation, keeping anyone from following, making it less like a scene.

“Okay. Here’s the exit strategy: I’m gonna lead you out the door in full hockey gear. Anybody tries to talk to you, I body check them into the ice sculpture. It’ll be ladies screaming, monocles falling into champagne flutes-”

A laugh jumps from her throat, small but unexpected enough to come out sounding as much like a cough. Jane sounds pleased to have earned at least that.

Her actual suggestion is to bring the car around to the service exit, and then come back to escort her out.

After making the best of her face, Maura follows Jane out, letting herself be led by the hand. She feels like a small child being helped to cross a street, but somehow in this context it’s reassuring instead of condescending. 

She pushes through half a set of double doors, holding it open for her. 

The voice is immediate, and male. 

“Excuse me, ladies, but this area-”

“Boston police,” Jane barks without slowing or even altering their course, even though he is directly ahead of them. “Clear the exit.”

In her peripheral vision Maura can see the man - kitchen staff maybe - stepping aside, showing his palms in disinterested surrender. Not paid enough to stand in the way and be bulldozed. She notices how Jane is angling herself to block her from view as much as is casually possible as they move past.

She focuses on Jane’s shoulder blades, visible thanks to her updo and the low-ish back of the dress she’d talked her into. Imagining her instead in hockey gear almost brings a smile to Maura’s face.

Something about the safety of the car makes her start crying again, and to her relief, Jane simply lets her.

- - -

The next time she looks at the clock, it reads 12:41. 

She must have fallen asleep. She wants nothing more than to fall back asleep, but something is nagging at her... besides the fact that she’s fallen asleep in her makeup. 

It’s Jane. Jane protected her and drove her home, but she doesn’t recall saying a single word to her since they left that bathroom. No effort to be appreciative or even hospitable. Her only goal upon arriving home was tearing off that dress so she could finally breathe and crashing in bed just long enough to catch her breath.

Her eyes move across her bedroom, dimly lit by the light of her closet filtering through its slatted door.

Her dressing table. Her nightstand. Legs on the bed. 

Legs on the bed?

Jane is lying on the bed next to her.  Propped up halfway on pillows, and with hands folded neatly over her stomach, she looks more like she’s waiting than sleeping.

“Hey,” she says, and Maura jumps slightly even though her presence is not a surprise. Her nerves feel shredded.

“Sorry,” Jane adds quickly. “It’s just me. I wasn’t sure if you wanted to be alone.”

Maura rubs her eyes. “I’m sorry I fell asleep.”

“Nah, that’s exactly what you needed.”

She feels more settled now, though exhausted and embarrassed... however with Jane here to look out for her, it’s not so terrible. Being that vulnerable in front of someone she trusts feels nice, in a way.

“Do you? Want to be alone?”

Apologetically excusing Jane is her first instinct, but she pauses. Going back to sleep sounds nice, but having Jane there sounds even nicer. Her presence is so calming.

“No.”

"’kay.” Jane sits up and pats a little folded pile on the foot of the bed. “I grabbed some pajamas for you.”

“I’m alread- oh,” glancing down, she realizes she was in such a hurry to get out of that dress that she never put anything else on, and is still just in underwear. Hopefully she was the one who pulled the bed sheet over herself. 

That’s what makes her check to see what Jane is wearing, if not still her dress from the benefit. She’s found one of the old tees and sweats of her own that are always stashed in Maura’s drawers.

"Let me go get you a glass of water,” Jane smirks.

Getting ready for bed gives Maura her second wind. That little crash helped recharge her at least to the point where she can think again - not necessarily a good thing - and now she doesn’t feel like trying to go directly to sleep.

They end up in their go-to place for processing: the couch. Side by side, they just sit in silence for a little while.

Earlier it was all just a tornado of raw data, but now she’s starting to be able to organize it and analyze what had happened. 

“I feel so ridiculous.” Her voice still sounds congested.

“You aren’t.”

“But there was no real threat at all. Am I that afraid of a dead man?”

“You wouldn’t be the first.”

Jane doesn’t talk about Hoyt that much, but Maura knows that’s what she means.

Neither of them really fear dead men. What they fear is that those men weren’t unique. There are more of them in the world - it’s a statistical certainty. There’s just no way of knowing which they are. 

That’s where she’d lost it at the benefit tonight. All those smiling faces, each one Schrödinger’s acquaintance. Simultaneously a pleasant conversationalist and potential catastrophic threat to her safety, her sanity, her life. 

“I keep doing the math. The number of new people I tend to encounter in an average work week - the prevalence of violent crime and psychopathy and-”

“Hey,” Jane says, shushing softly. “I know, but we’ll talk about it tomorrow.” 

Maura allows herself to lean to the side when pulled, and Jane shifts enough to put her chin on top of Maura’s head. It feels warm and safe and reassuring, like the way puppies must feel when they sleep all together in a pile.

“You’re home. You’re safe. You don’t have to think about anything else.”

She closes her eyes, but something is keeping her from totally relaxing. Jane must think she’s much worse off than she is, and to not correct her feels kind of deceptive.

“You don’t have to do this.”

“Do what?”

“I know you don’t like hugging people. I’m not in danger. I’m not in distress anymore... I just like the company.”

She feels a little breath come out of Jane’s chest, like that had been amusing.

“You’re not people.”

Well... in that case, maybe it’s okay to wrap her other arm around Jane’s waist and relax against her. She does, and Jane retaliates with what she’s at least ninety-six percent sure was a kiss on the top of her head.

It gives her a thousand additional questions, but those can be answered later. Right now the important thing is that everything feels safe. And this hug - no, hold - is lasting so long that the only way she can even tell Jane’s awake is the little intermittent back-and-forth thumb near her shoulder.

She's falling asleep on the couch. On Jane. 

She does absolutely nothing about it.

[morningfears]

Morning Fears [Chapter One]

Rating: M | This is smut! No one under 18!

Summary: Charlotte Harper met Dylan Hemmings her freshman year of college when the two girls were randomly assigned to be roommates. With Dylan came her father, Luke. Charlotte never expected Dylan to become her best friend and she certainly never expected her small crush on Luke to become anything more. But when Dylan left her alone at their graduation party and Luke offered to take Charlotte home, their lives changed. | This is an AU in which Luke is a single father (aged 40/41) and Charlotte is a recent college graduate (22).

Word Count: 14.2k

Author’s Note: Even if you’ve read the previous version, this one has seven thousand more words and is a bit different. The next chapter will be significantly different so I recommend reading to catch up! This can also be found on Wattpad!

Chapter Two  | Chapter Three

“So, how does it feel to be a college graduate?”

Charlotte Harper, who had spent at least ten minutes staring at the pale pink cocktail sitting on the table in front of her, lost in her own thoughts, lifted her head at the sound of his voice. She blinked, ridding herself of the fog that clouded her brain, before she paused to take in the increasingly familiar sight of Luke Hemmings, the father of her random freshman year roommate-turned best friend. The moment she met his eye, Luke smiled warmly at her and took the empty seat to her right before he placed a glass of water onto the table and slid it across the black tablecloth until it rested in front of her.

Charlotte mumbled a quiet thank you, her voice lost in the noise of the graduation party surrounding them, before she took a sip and contemplated how to answer his question.

“It doesn’t feel that much different, if I’m honest,” she answered with a slight shrug as she tapped her nails against the plastic glass. “I kind of thought I’d wake up and feel like a different person but maybe it just hasn’t hit me yet.” She paused for a beat of silence and returned her gaze to the tablecloth in front of her before she shrugged again. “Maybe it won’t hit me until I finish grad school and am really, truly done. Whatever it is, it just doesn’t really feel like an accomplishment, you know? It doesn’t feel as powerful as I thought it would.”

Luke, who had felt an immense sense of pride upon seeing Charlotte cross the stage with more regalia than almost anyone else, frowned at her answer and shifted in his seat to move closer to her. He reached out to her, his touch gentle and warm against her skin as he took her hand in his. “It is an accomplishment,” he reminded her gently, his voice just loud enough to be heard over the thumping bass of a top-forty remix. “You have worked so hard these last four years. Everyone could see it by the ten pounds of cords and medallions you wore today.” 

When a small laugh escaped her lips, Luke smiled and gently squeezed Charlotte’s hand. She felt a surge of energy rush through her body, something akin to a jolt of lightning, at his touch and bit back a sigh of content as she attempted to focus on the words leaving his lips.

“You should be proud of what you’ve accomplished these last four years, Charlotte. You’re not the same person I met when I moved Dylan into her dorm room four years ago. You’ve grown so much and surpassed any and all expectations for you. It might not feel like it until you graduate for good but you’ve done something incredible. I know your parents are beyond proud of you. They gushed the entire ceremony,” he informed her with a grin, ��and I know it might not mean much, but I’m proud of you, too.”

Charlotte could feel her cheeks begin to burn at Luke’s compliment. She knew that beneath the layer of foundation she’d applied early that morning, her cheeks were likely tinted pink and she hoped that her hair would cover her burning ears as she smiled at Luke’s encouraging words. She’d always been in awe of how quickly he could switch from being the goofy dad-next-door-stereotype, tripping over thin air and dancing to classic rock, to a pillar of moral support. It had always been a gift of his, though, and it had always been one of the things that Charlotte appreciated most about him. Hearing him tell her exactly what she needed to hear made her heart feel as if it would beat out of her chest and she couldn’t appreciate it more.

“It actually means a lot to me,” she said with a nod, a small smile on her lips as her tone conveyed just how sincerely she appreciated the encouragement. “Thank you, Luke.”

Luke, pleased with Charlotte’s smile and the obvious sincerity in her tone, nodded his head at her and gave her another soft smile. He kept his eyes on her for a long moment, a look that she couldn’t read in his eyes, before he turned his head to glance at the packed dance floor, his hand never leaving hers.

Though she’d known him for four years at that point, Charlotte had never understood why she had always wanted to impress Luke. From the moment they met, she had been desperate to gain his approval. She wanted him to be proud of her, wanted him to see her as an adult who could take care of herself rather than simply seeing her as some dumb kid who needed an adult to hold her hand and walk her through life. She wanted him to see her as an equal, as a partner, and not just his daughter’s best friend. 

She knew that he probably meant he was proud of her in the same way that he was proud of Dylan, it still thrilled her to know that he’d at least taken notice. It thrilled her to know that she’d at least gotten that far.

If she truly sat down and thought about it, if she let her mind wander to the subject of Luke long enough, she would have realized that the reason she was so desperate to make him see her as an adult, to make him proud, was because of the crush she’d had on him since the day they met. After spending hours watching him lift boxes and look incredible while cracking the best, lamest dad jokes she had ever heard, something she hadn’t expected to like so much, she couldn’t help falling for him.

Her crush had only gotten worse the more she interacted with him and she was reminded of just how deep it ran as she glanced at the exposed sliver of skin peeking out of the unbuttoned collar of his shirt.

Charlotte tried to be discreet, only looking when Luke glanced out at the partygoers milling about the dance floor, as she allowed her eyes to rake over the silver necklace that she’d never seen Luke without. She worked to memorize every detail of the silver chain before her gaze continued downward to take in the deep burgundy of his button-down. She bit at the inside of her cheek to stop a groan from leaving her lips as her eyes raked over the tight black pants covering his thighs, the same ones he’d worn to the graduation ceremony earlier that day, and she wanted to drop her head to the table and ask for forgiveness as she imagined sitting on them.

“Are you alright?”

Charlotte blinked at the suddenness of Luke’s question and nodded quickly as she averted her gaze to the dance floor. She removed her hand from his grasp and attempted to discreetly wipe her sweating palm on the tablecloth before she took a sip of water. “Fine,” she hummed after she cleared her throat. “I’m okay. Just a little tired. It’s been a long day.”

She couldn’t see it but Luke smiled at Charlotte’s flustered state. He nodded at her rushed words and said, “I can imagine.” He paused, following her gaze out to the dance floor, before he returned his full attention to her. “Do you have a ride home?”

“Dylan and Alex are supposed to give me a ride,” she informed him as she chanced a glance around the room, searching for her best friend’s familiar head of curly blonde hair. However, no matter how hard she looked, Charlotte couldn’t spot Dylan anywhere. Upon coming up empty handed, she frowned and reached for her cellphone. “Uh, at least, I hope they’re going to give me a ride home.”

As Charlotte unlocked her phone, Luke adopted the same frown she had worn only seconds before. “Dylan left half an hour ago,” he informed her.

“Fuck,” Charlotte whispered as she glanced at the message thread between her and Dylan. A text containing the same information, letting her know that Dylan and Alex had opted to head home early, greeted her and seemed to mock her as she stared at the too-bright screen. Charlotte let out a huff and her frown deepened as mumbled, “Well, Uber it is, then,” and tapped at the icon on her cellphone.

“I could take you home,” Luke offered with a slight shrug as he watched Charlotte tap at her phone. “I know it’s probably safe for you to take an Uber but I don’t like the idea of you alone with a stranger so late at night.”

“Oh, I couldn’t ask you to do that,” she refused with a shake of her head as she glanced up at him. “It’s fine, honestly. You probably have something better to do than drive me home, anyway. It’s really not a big deal.”

Luke laughed, a quiet sound, as he shook his head. “I cleared my day for the ceremony and the party. I’m all yours,” he informed her with a smile. “If you want me to take you home, I don’t mind at all. I don’t have any other plans.”

Charlotte hesitated for a moment, uncertainty bubbling in the pit of her stomach, before she nodded slowly. Luke’s offer sounded much more desirable than taking an Uber back to her apartment, she’d always had the worst luck with drivers, so she agreed. “If you’re sure it’s not a bother,” she said, “thank you. I really appreciate it. I’m not going to lie, I hate taking cabs or Ubers or something if I’m alone. My mom watches all those, like, Sixty Minutes type shows and is always telling me how dangerous they are. Every time someone goes missing, she sends me a text and reminds me not to go anywhere on my own. It freaks the fuck out of me.”

Luke, though he had never been an overbearing parent himself, could understand where Charlotte’s mother was coming from. He didn’t like taking her side, he never really liked her at all, if he was honest with himself, but he could sympathize with her on the issue of ride-share apps.

“I can understand where she’s coming from,” he told Charlotte as he offered her his hand to help her out of her chair. “It’s dangerous out there. I’m glad you and Dylan are practically attached at the hip. Makes me feel better knowing that you both have someone to watch out for you,” he said as he began leading her out of the ballroom.

Charlotte would usually offer a rebuttal, some kind of snarky comment about agreeing with her mother or treating her like a child, but she chose to bite her tongue as she allowed Luke to lead her out of the venue. Silence, not awkward or uncomfortable, fell over them as they entered the elevator and Charlotte found her mind clouded with a frustrating mixture of lust, guilt, and nerves as she allowed herself to get lost in her thoughts once more.

Being alone with Luke felt new and unnerved her as the elevator traveled down from the rooftop bar they’d spent their night in. She didn’t know how to behave without Dylan’s presence, questions of propriety running through her mind as she risked a glance at him from the corner of her eye.

Luke had become a parent young, only nineteen when Dylan was born, and despite the hardships he faced as a single parent, Charlotte had always noted that the years have been kind to him. Despite his age, or maybe because of it, Charlotte still found Luke to be incredibly handsome. The thought returned to her as she took in the soft curls of his blonde hair and the light stubble lining his jaw. The first thing she noticed about him when they met was the beautiful blue of his eyes, perpetually shining with kindness and warmth, and they’ve always made her want to lose herself in them. His nose, pointed at the end and an odd feature for her to find so endearing, has always made her want to grin and that was how she knew that she was completely fucked.

When the image of waking up beside Luke, kissing his nose and mumbling a soft morning greeting, flashed through her brain, she realized that she didn’t just find her best friend’s father attractive. She had an honest-to-god crush on him and she couldn’t seem to help but fall harder and harder, despite the nagging feeling of guilt that bubbled in the pit of her stomach.

Charlotte was never one to have a schoolgirl crush, had never been boy crazy, and those closest to her assumed that she’d never settle down. They assumed that she’d spend the rest of her life working, chasing success, and that she would be happy doing so. And for a long time, she believed that, too.

She sometimes wondered if she was broken, if there was something wrong with her for not having crush after crush or falling in love with perfect strangers as her best friend seemed to do, but she never really tried to change it. She accepted it, told herself that maybe love wasn’t for her, and moved on.

That was what surprised her the most about her feelings for Luke. The fact that her crush persisted, that it went farther than a simple physical attraction, had sent her into a tailspin at first. She had spent the night hyperventilating, worried that something really was wrong with her, until she reasoned that she just liked the unattainable. She reasoned that having a crush on Luke was safe, that nothing would ever happen, and that it was a healthy way to feel something without actually having to get emotionally involved with another person.

However, as she stared at Luke’s reflection in the shiny metal elevator doors, she realized that this was more than a crush. She had never felt the way she felt for Luke, had never wanted anyone so badly, and she realized that it was a genuine feeling of romantic interest settling into the pit of her stomach, right alongside the guilt. She genuinely wanted him, she was certain of that, but what remained uncertain was the question of whether Luke would ever want her back.

When the robotic voice announced their arrival at their destination, Charlotte barely paid it any mind. She moved on autopilot, following Luke out of the elevator and toward the parking lot as she stared at his back.

She couldn’t help but wonder what would happen if he actually did want her. What would their relationship even look like if something were to happen between the two of them? What would Dylan think? What would her parents think? Would it be an actual relationship or a meaningless hookup? Was she wrong to want him? Did it make her a bad person to want to be with him? Would it make him a bad person to want to be with her?

Those questions swirled through her mind as she followed Luke through the parking lot, each hitting her harder than the last. She didn’t notice Luke slowing as they approached his car, didn’t notice him come to a stop, and she only realized he was staring at her when she bumped into his chest.

“You’re spacing out on me again.”

Charlotte blinked, shook her head to rid herself of her swirling thoughts, and stepped back as she apologized for bumping into him. She noticed that Luke looked somewhat concerned, his eyebrows furrowed and his gaze intense, despite the teasing tone to his voice. “I’m okay,” she assured him quickly, a small smile quirking her lips at his show of concern. “Just thinking. Sorry.”

“You don’t have to apologize,” Luke assured her as he opened the passenger door for her. “We all get lost in our thoughts sometimes.” Charlotte watched, her eyes glued to his figure, as he rounded the car and settled into the driver’s seat. Before he buckled his seatbelt, he turned to her and said, “You don’t have to, of course, but if you ever need someone to talk to, I’m here. I can’t promise I won’t laugh if it’s embarrassing, but I will be here to listen.”

Charlotte playfully rolled her eyes at Luke’s teasing and shook her head as she watched him buckle his seatbelt. A quiet laugh escaped her lips despite herself and Luke looked pleased with himself as the sound reached his ears. He grinned to himself, immensely fond of the soft look on her face, before he connected his phone to the car’s bluetooth and pressed play on a classic rock playlist that he knew Charlotte would love.

A blinding grin settled on Charlotte’s lips as the sound of an Ozzy Osbourne track filled the car. As they sat at a red light, Luke watched her with a soft smile on his lips. She was lost in the moment, quietly singing along to Mr. Crowley, and it warmed his heart to see her look so content. He was reminded of the girl he met four years ago, carefree and happy, as he watched watched her dance in her seat. She looked carefree and happy, unburdened by the weight of the world on her shoulders, and Luke was happy to see some of her stress melt away, if only for a moment.

Luke noticed that Charlotte suddenly looked every bit the twenty-two year old she was and he was both completely enamored and battling the thoughts swirling in his head as he glanced at her out of the corner of his eye.

Though he’d known her for four years at that point, Luke had never been able to figure Charlotte out. She’d always been a source of enchantment for him, a figure that he’d wanted to understand but never could, and he’d sometimes forget just how little life experience she actually had as she always seemed to be such an old soul. But as he watched her, glancing at her out of the corner of his eye at every red light with the wind blowing through her hair and the moonlight illuminating her beautiful face, Luke almost hated himself for thinking of her as anything other than his best friend’s daughter.

A war raged within his mind as the playlist of classic rock continued to fill the silence. Luke had never been interested in younger women. Even as a twenty-something himself, he was interested in women a few years older. He always looked at their experience as a bonus, their wisdom as a necessity, and he didn’t imagine that would change as he got older himself. As he saw his colleagues date younger and younger women, appearing at work events with girls younger than Dylan and Charlotte on their arm, he wondered if he would end up becoming one of them.

He never wanted to, never wanted to be that person, but he knew that he couldn’t help who he was attracted to. Being interested in Charlotte was a new feeling for him, something that he never imagined he would feel, and it served as a constant source of guilt for him beginning the moment he realized he felt more for her than he should.

Luke knew that Charlotte had a crush on him. He had known since the moment they met how she felt about him. He could see the pink blush tinting her cheeks and ears, could see the nervous smiles and careful looks she leveled at him, and it was cute. Dylan told him once, not long after she and Charlotte really became friends, that Charlotte didn’t believe in love and that crushes weren’t really things she had experienced growing up and it flattered him to know that he could be that for her.

As Luke stared at Charlotte at the final red light on the drive to her apartment, her Freddie Mercury impression bringing a smile to his lips, he realized that he couldn’t quite pin down how he felt about her. He liked her, as a parent likes their child’s friend, that much he knew for certain. But the rest of his feelings remained an uncertain jumble in the pit of his stomach as he began to sing along to Bohemian Rhapsody with her.

Seeing her smile so widely, relaxing into her seat and channeling her inner Freddie Mercury, brought a smile to Luke’s lips. He wanted northing more than to continue driving, to bypass the parking lot of her apartment building and let her continue enjoying herself, but he knew that the night had to end somewhere. As the final chords of Bohemian Rhapsody rang through the car, Charlotte seemed to realize where they were and breathed a quiet sigh Luke was sure he wasn’t meant to hear as he pulled into a visitor parking space.

As quickly as her genuine smile faded, a smile that Luke can instantly pinpoint as being fake replaced it. “Thank you for driving me home,” Charlotte nodded, her appreciation genuine though her smile was not. “I really appreciate it. And, uh, sorry for the mini-concert. You have great taste in music.”

“The concert was the best part of the ride,” Luke assured her with a smile. “And you don’t have to thank me. I was happy to do it. Have fun with your parents in the morning. Dylan told me you guys were going to get breakfast and do some sightseeing before you head home for a few days."

“Oh.” Charlotte nodded slowly, her fake smile dropping as she glanced out the windshield at the apartment building in front of them. “Um, plans changed a little bit. My mom got a migraine during the ceremony. The lady behind you guys was wearing a perfume that didn’t sit well with her. They left as soon as we got a picture at the end of the ceremony and drove home. I’m driving back by myself tomorrow.” 

Luke’s own smile fell as he watched Charlotte attempt to keep her facial expression neutral and her tone even. He could tell now that her parents disappearance was at least part of why she had been so melancholy at the party and he wanted to reach out to her, to comfort her, but she quickly shook her head and returned the fake smile to her lips.

“It’s not a big deal,” she assured him with a shrug. “A few of my cousins are graduating high school on Friday so we’re having a big party on Sunday for all of us. We’ll just celebrate then.”

Luke’s frown deepened as he watched Charlotte attempt to put on a happy face. He noticed that she had always done that, had always attempted to please everyone and keep them from knowing when something truly bothered her, but he could see beyond that attempt as he stared at her. He knew that he shouldn’t attempt to fix it, knew that he should let it go and tell Dylan to check in with her later, but he couldn’t bring himself to do that.

“So you’re going to be alone tonight?” he questioned, his tone reflecting his concern. “And on your drive tomorrow?” When Charlotte repeated her shrug but said nothing, Luke’s frown deepened. He shook his head and glanced at her apartment building to think for a moment before he returned his gaze to her and said the first thing that came to his mind. “You should be celebrating tonight, Charlotte. You should be too hungover to drive tomorrow. You should be having the time of your life, celebrating a milestone.” He hesitated for a moment, let a beat of silence pass, before he said, “You should be surrounded by people who love you tonight.”

A warmth settled in the pit of Charlotte’s stomach as Luke’s words washed over her. The genuine concern in his tone, the softness of his voice as he relayed his dismay at her having to spend the night alone, brought a soft smile to Charlotte’s face as she shrugged yet again. “That’s just the way it goes for me,” she informed him with a sad sigh. “This isn’t the first time I’ve celebrated something important alone and it won’t be the last. I’ll probably still be too hungover to drive tomorrow,” she told him with a slight smile, “but it’ll be because of Chopped reruns and a bottle of wine. And, I mean, like I said earlier, this doesn’t really feel like that big a deal anyway. I got to party with you and D and Alex so that was enough.”

Luke stared at her, the frown not leaving his lips. Dylan had told him before that Charlotte had a fairly lonely childhood, that her parents often paid more attention to her siblings than to her and that she had learned to deal with disappointment in a way that broke Dylan’s heart, but to hear Charlotte so nonchalantly shrug off her parents leaving her graduation broke his heart.

When Luke opened his mouth to point out that she shouldn’t have to be alone, that the party was a surface-level gesture, if anything, Charlotte truly laughed. “If you’re so concerned about me being alone, please feel free to come up and watched an episode or two of Chopped with me. I have to warn you, though, I’ve seen all of them so I can tell you who wins the moment I see the chefs appear.”

Charlotte’s playful smile made Luke laugh, his frown lightening for a brief moment, before he hesitated. He knew that it wasn’t a good idea. He knew that the best thing for him to do would be to go home and possibly send Dylan over to ensure that Charlotte didn’t spend the night alone, or at least get her to send Charlotte a text, but Luke has found himself making bad decisions in Charlotte’s presence and this proved to be no different.

Before he could stop himself, Luke nodded. “I haven’t watched much Chopped but I guess I’ll just have to try and choose my own winner before you can tell me, then,” he teased, a soft smile on his lips, as he unbuckled his seatbelt. “Maybe while I’m at it, I can keep you from getting too hungover to drive home tomorrow.”

Charlotte playfully rolled her eyes at Luke’s teasing comment and sighed, “My hero,” before she laughed and reached to unbuckle her seatbelt. Before she could open the car door for herself, Luke rounded the vehicle and opened the door for her. When she thanked him, Luke nodded his acknowledgment and gestured for her to lead the way up the stairs. 

Luke had only been to Charlotte’s apartment twice before, the first time to help her move into the apartment and the second to help her and Dylan put together a birthday surprise for Alex. He remembered it being cozy, small but comfortable, with black and white and blue pieces decorating the entire space. He remembered noting a lack of photos on the walls, a lack of art and personal effects, and it all made sense to him after Dylan told him about Charlotte’s life. He understood why there were no reminders of her childhood or her family scattered around and he wondered if anything had changed since his last visit.

As Charlotte dug through her bag for her keys, she mumbled, “I have to warn you before you come, my place looks like a hurricane hit it. Between packing for the trip home, getting ready for graduation, and work, I haven’t had much time to clean.”

Luke rolled his eyes at Charlotte’s words because he knew her. He knew that she was the tidiest twenty-something he’d ever met, like would ever meet. Every time he visited the dorm that she and Dylan shared, the only cleaning supplies he found were tucked away in Charlotte’s closet. Once, he’d even walked in on Charlotte cleaning the apartment that Dylan lived in alone after they both moved into one bedroom places of their own.

Luke imagined a pair of shoes scattered near the door or makeup left on the bathroom counter but he felt a jolt of surprise the moment he entered the small space. Her black duffel bag had been left open on the dining table with clothes scattered around it and a pile of shoes sitting on one of the chairs. A wine glass was left on the coffee table and he raised an eyebrow. Luke shook his head, an amused smile on his lips, as Charlotte grinned sheepishly at him. By her standards, the place really did look like a mess, but he found it to be charming. It was just another glimpse into a side of her that he hadn’t, until that point, been privy to.

“Do you want something to drink?” she asked him, her voice pulling him out of his thoughts as she stepped around him to grab the glass from her coffee table. “I have wine, obviously,” she laughed as she scrambled to tidy the mess that he knew was killing her. “I have Jack, some rum, some vodka… I also have, like, non-alcoholic stuff, too. Grape juice, I think, and some water. I have La Croix that Dylan drinks and I think there’s a soda in my fridge but, honestly, I probably wouldn’t drink it. I feel like it’s been in there since I moved in and I doubt it’s any good anymore. I should through that away…”

Luke remained rooted in his spot by the door for a long moment, just watching with an amused smile on his lips, before he stepped toward the living area and began helping. He tidied up the coffee table, straightened a stack of papers and returned books to the shelf that served as a television stand, and by the time Charlotte noticed, he had already folded the oversized throw that had been lying in a heap on her couch.

Before Charlotte could argue that he didn’t have to help, he shook his head. “I know that it’ll be on your mind the entire time if your apartment is “messy” and someone is here to witness it,” he said as he adjusted the throw and straightened a pillow, “even if you know that someone has a daughter whose definition of cleaning is kicking things under her bed or throwing them into a closet. How did you even deal with sharing a living space with Dylan?”

“It was a challenge and taxing on my mental health,” Charlotte laughed as she zipped her duffel bag, now filled to the brim with clothes, and placed it into a chair in the corner, “but I feel like she gets it pretty honest.”

“Hey,” Luke laughed, an exaggerated frown on his face as he narrowed his eyes at her. “I’m a busy man. I clean when I can.”

“I don’t know that I’ve ever actually seen the desk in your office,” she laughed as she stepped around him once more to get into the kitchen. “Is there actually a desk under all those papers or do you just have so many files that they’re basically a house of cards, standing on their own?”

“There is an actual desk,” Luke confirmed as he leaned against the doorframe and watched her place her wine glass into the sink. “But the papers are holding their shape pretty well at this point. I feel like if I moved something, they’d all come tumbling down.”

Charlotte laughed at Luke’s admission and shook her head as he shrugged, unable to defend his actions. She beamed at him, a triumphant grin that made him smile in earnest, before she grabbed a clean glass from her cabinet and asked, “So, drink?”

“Just water, please,” he requested, watching as she poured her own glass full of grape juice instead of wine. “I see you’ve decided against the hangover. My plan is working.”

“Mm,” she hummed as she reached for another glass from her cabinet, “you can tell yourself that if you’d like.” Luke shook his head at her playful teasing, biting back an even bigger smile as he watched her settle into the personality Dylan loved to gush about but he had yet to see, and nodded his thanks as she handed him his glass.

“I figured I’d be annoyed enough with the traffic,” she explained with a shrug, “I hate California traffic more than just about anything.” She paused for a moment and glanced at her glass for a moment before she returned her gaze to him and smiled. “Juice always feels better when you drink it out of a real glass,” she defended as he grinned at her choice. When she held up her glass, asking for a toast, Luke humored her before they both took a sip of their respective drinks. “Now, Chopped marathon or no?”

Luke smiled at her and gestured for her to lead the way before he followed her back to the couch. “You’re a dad, you like technology, I’m sure you can navigate my Hulu. Chopped is on my ‘keep watching’ tab. Do you mind if I change out of this dress super quick? It’s stupid cute but I feel like I might die if I have to stay in it any longer.”

“What kind of monster would I be if I let you die?” Luke asked with a laugh as he grabbed the remote from her outstretched hand. “Take your time, get comfortable. This is your place, after all. This will give me a head-start in trying to figure out who wins before you can spoil it for me, anyway,” he teased as he settled into his seat and tossed an arm over the back of the couch.

“Ah, a man with a plan,” Charlotte nodded, her tone light as she laughed and placed her glass onto the coffee table. “I like it! I’ll be back. You can choose whatever episode you want. They’re all super good, though,” she informed him before she bounded down the short hallway and shut her bedroom door behind her.

Luke laughed at her words and Charlotte tried not to let herself dwell on the sound as she rummaged through her drawers for a pair of comfortable (but cute and appropriate) pajamas. She tried not to think about the fact that Luke, a man that she’d had a crush on for nearly four years, was sitting on her couch, waiting to watch Chopped with her. She tried not to think about the fact that they had fallen into a sort of a routine, laughing and joking with one another like friends. She tried not to think about the way that he was treating her less like a kid and more like an adult, not quite the way she always wished but close enough to make her feel like inviting him up wasn’t a complete mistake.

As she tossed a t-shirt, one of the few without holes or bleach stains, onto her bed, she tried not to think about how badly she wanted this to be more than Luke just pitying her. She tried not to think about how badly she wanted this to be him, genuinely interested in her, waiting for her after a date or a long night at work. She tried not to think about how nice it would be to come home to Luke, waiting to watch bad television with her and laugh as she ultimately spoiled every episode. She tried not to think about how badly she’d like to curl up beside him, his arms wrapped around her and his fingers gently combing through her hair as he listened to her ramble about anything and everything. She tried not to think about how nice it would be to kiss him, to feel his lips against hers and his hands on her hips.

She tried not to think about how she shouldn’t want anything with Luke, especially not a real future.

But she couldn’t help herself as the overwhelming flood of thoughts rushed to the forefront of her mind as she grabbed a pair of shorts (possibly the longest ones in her collection) and a pair of fuzzy Christmas socks, decorated with penguins because her toenail polish had long ago started to chip.

She stood there, staring at the pile of clothes on her bed, for a long moment. Every thought swirling in her brain threatened to devour her, threatened to swallow her whole, and it nearly overwhelmed her as she began to pace the small space between her bed and dresser. 

She felt everything so clearly: the guilt of knowing that if anything were to happen, Dylan would be the one to get hurt; the anxiety of not knowing how Luke felt about her, if he felt anything at all; the rational, reasonable portion of her brain telling her that wanting a man in his mid-forties was a terrible idea; the impulsive part of her, telling her to just go for it and figure it all out in the morning.

Her entire body felt like it was on fire and she wanted nothing more than to grab a bottle of wine and drink until she felt the pleasant warmth that came with it, forgetting why she was so flustered in the first place.

But as she glanced at her bedside clock, she realized that she’d been standing there for too long so she quickly stripped out of her party dress, dropping the pretty black garment onto her bed, and pulled on her pajamas. She attempted to calm her racing heart, took a few deep breaths and steadied herself by her bedroom door, before she returned to the living room and settled at the opposite end of the couch, leaving as much space between her and Luke as physically possible.

“So, did you figure out who is going to win yet?” she asked, desperately attempting to keep her tone light, as she reached for her glass. “Because I know who it is.”

Luke rolled his eyes at her comment and turned his head to glance at her. “Not yet,” he hummed before he fully took in the sight of her. His eyes raked over her form and he couldn’t help but smile at the sight. She sat there, her knees pressed against her chest, clad in a pair of pale pink shorts and a too-big t-shirt that he knew came from some sort of event. The penguin socks, a gift from her grandmother, were his favorite part and the sight of them made his smile grow wider.

“What?” Charlotte questioned, her eyebrows quirked in confusion and a slight frown on her lips. 

Luke could see her flushed cheeks, could see the mild embarrassment brush over her, so he knew that she understood what his look of fondness was for. She, like anyone else, just wanted to hear him say it. So he shook his head, a smile still on his lips, as he said, “You look so cute, Charlotte. I don’t think I’ve ever seen you this dressed down. Even when you stayed over at my place with Dylan for Christmas a few years ago, you were in jeans every time I saw you.”

“I’m not cute,” Charlotte huffed, her eyebrows furrowed and a pout on her lips as she shifted in her seat and returned her glass to the table. “And, I mean, I’m sure you’ve seen me in clothes that aren’t, I don’t know, clothes? I know I wore shorts at the beach and I wore that royal blue bikini at the pool.”

“I didn’t see it,” Luke assured her with a shrug, “always jeans. Or, more recently, work clothes. Blazers and pencil skirts. Definitely never seen the fuzzy penguin socks but I can assure you that those are my favorite, by the way.”

“My nana bought them for me for Christmas last year,” Charlotte explained with a huff, “she buys me penguin stuff for Christmas every year because they’re my favorite animal. Don’t be mean about my fuzzy socks.”

Luke laughed as he watched Charlotte curl her feet beneath her in an attempt to cover the aforementioned socks before she turned her head away from him to pretend to focus on the television. He hesitated for a moment, unsure of whether he would be crossing any boundaries, before he decided to try his luck and reached out to gently tug at her ankle.

“I’m not being mean about your fuzzy socks,” he assured her with a soft smile as he waited for her to straighten her legs, “I wasn’t making fun of them. I love them, they really are cute.” When Charlotte straightened her legs, settling with her back against the arm of the couch and her feet near Luke, he gently patted her leg and said, “Penguins are my favorite animal, too.”

“Really? Everyone thinks that a penguin is such a weird favorite animal but they’re just so cute! Watching them walk is the most fun thing. And baby penguins? They’re so fluffy! I got to hug a penguin once and I cried for, like, ten minutes.”

When Charlotte blinked, a look of realization dawning on her face, she huffed a breath and mumbled, “I don’t know why I just told you that. That’s fucking embarrassing.”

“No, it’s cute,” Luke laughed as he reached out to brush the top of her sock, the material soft beneath his fingers. “That’s adorable, Charlotte. It’s nice to see you like this, soft and sweet. I always see this tough exterior, this girl with the weight of the world on her shoulders who feels like she has to be perfect to even exist so it makes me really happy to see you relaxing a little bit.”

Charlotte wasn’t sure if she should shrug off Luke’s comment or if she should share her thoughts with him. She didn’t know if he would laugh at her, though she imagined he wouldn’t, or if he would play it all off as the way that life goes. She didn’t know how being candid with him, telling him the truth about her emotions and her feelings, would make him see her but something about him had always made her want to trust him. She had always wanted to confide in him, to be treated like an equal rather than a child, so she took a leap of faith and decided to talk to him.

“My family is kind of robotic,” Charlotte explained with a shrug as she picked at a fraying string on the hem of her t-shirt. “Perfection is the only thing they really understand, you know? Emotions aren’t our thing. My brother was, like, the definition of perfect. Star athlete, top of his class, got a good degree, got married; same with my sister. Neither of them ever really dealt with being human, I guess. At least, not openly. We all just pretended that feelings weren’t really a thing because they’re messy. They require you to communicate and our family doesn’t talk to each other. We occupied the same space for a while but we never really spoke to one another.”

Luke fell silent at Charlotte’s admission. Dylan had explained to him that opening up was hard for Charlotte to do, that she wasn’t one to trust easily and that it took her months to even begin talking about the good feelings, so to hear her Charlotte tell him a little bit about her life made Luke’s heart simultaneously sink and soar. His heart broke for her as he could see what living in a world where feelings weren’t allowed had done to her. He could see how the pressure to be perfect had affected her. But he could also see how those things made her stronger, how they made her more empathetic toward others. He saw her encourage Dylan to talk about her feelings, he saw her assure Dylan that perfection was overrated; he saw her tell her friends the things she wished her parents had told her.

As she spoke to him, as she confided in him, Luke realized that she had chosen to talk to him. He knew that there were only a few people in her life that she spoke to so to be one of the lucky ones, to be one of the ones that knew even a little bit about her life, thrilled Luke. He wanted her to know that she could speak to him, that he would be there to listen, so he told her as much.

“Feelings are messy,” he confirmed, his voice quiet as he reached out to brush his fingers along her shin, “but they’re what make us human. You shouldn’t have to pretend they don’t exist. You shouldn’t be ashamed of them. Talking about them is important and occupying the same space as someone but not really speaking to them isn’t really existing at all.”

Luke hesitated for a moment, his eyes locked on Charlotte’s form, and took in the soft smile on her lips. She looked content, almost happy, and he didn’t want to ruin the moment. He wanted her to know that there was someone, even if it was just him, that would be willing to listen to her. “I know that it might be weird but I’m here any time you need someone to talk to, Charlotte. Seeing you as human, seeing you like this, it makes me happy. It lets me know that you’re willing to be human and that’s something that took me a while to learn how to do.”

Charlotte smiled at Luke, a real smile, and stared at him for a moment. She could hear the sound of Ted announcing the basket ingredients in the background, could hear the humming of the small fan in her bedroom, but nothing seemed to be as loud as the beating of her heart as she took in the soft look on Luke’s face. He smiled at her, genuine and happy, and it kept her from hesitating as she whispered, “I like letting you see me like this.”

Luke wanted to believe that he imagined the softness in her tone of voice. He wanted to believe that she didn’t mean those words in the way that he knew she did. He wanted to believe that she just saw him as a positive adult figure but as he stared at her, really and truly looked at her, he knew that that wasn’t the case.

He could see the apprehension in her eyes as she glanced at him from beneath her lashes. He could see the admiration shining in her eyes, swimming alongside a bit of fear, and he found himself having to look away as she shifted just a little closer to him on the couch. He saw the fear of rejection in her eyes and he could tell that she was anticipating him judging her or maybe letting her down gently and he knew that he should. He knew that he should tell her that all he could ever be for her was an adult who could offer the parental advice she never got but something about her, something about seeing her drop her walls let him in, sent a pang of longing surging through his chest. 

Luke felt for her something that he hadn’t in years, something that he wasn’t sure he’d ever feel again, and it sent an icy prickle of fear shooting down the base of his spine as he glanced at her out of the corner of his eye.

He knew that it was a bad idea, that they would only hurt themselves in the end, but he couldn’t bring himself to crush her heart when she so willingly placed it into his hands. So, instead of moving away from her or nudging her back to the opposite side of the couch, he shifted his hand a little higher and traced his fingers along the exposed skin of her shin.

“I’m glad,” he finally answered, his voice just as quiet as hers had been, but Charlotte could feel the overwhelming sincerity in his tone as he gently squeezed her ankle. “I want you to be comfortable around me.”

Charlotte smiled at that and nodded at him. “I am,” she assured him, “more so than I ever thought I would be.”

A comfortable silence fell over the pair as her words settled into the air. She could feel her heart pounding in her chest, anxious and unnerved as she decided to tell him what she figured he already knew. “You’ve always made me nervous,” she admitted with a small smile, her voice quiet as she watched his fingers trace nonsensical patterns across her skin. “But it’s better now. I can finally breathe around you.”

Luke, somewhat surprised at her confession, turned his head to glance at her. He knew that she’d always been nervous around him, could see that by the way she acted, but to hear her admit that he’d taken her breath away was something he hadn’t expected. Luke didn’t know how to respond, he wasn’t sure what he could tell her, so he settled for a warm smile and another gentle squeeze before they lapsed into another, more tense, silence.

Luke’s fingers left a trail of fire in their wake as they gently brushed across Charlotte’s skin. He could feel jolts of electricity, warm and pleasant, wherever his skin made contact with hers and it sent both their minds reeling. Neither of them knew how to handle the situation, neither of them knew what exactly this moment meant for them, but they both knew that they wanted to live in the moment forever.

Luke wanted to spend forever, unthinking and unbothered, sitting with Charlotte in a comfortable silence. Charlotte, too, enjoyed the atmosphere far more than she ever imagined she would. She didn’t want to break the spell that came with the silence, didn’t want to risk having to return to the awkward relationship between a young girl and her friend’s father that they’d previously shared, but she decided to take a chance as she met Luke’s eyes once more.

She stared into the blue, darker in the dim light of her apartment than she’d ever seen them, and found herself asking, “Is it bad that I really want to kiss you?”

The moment the words left her lips, Charlotte regretted them. She could feel her heart threatening to beat out of her chest as her mouth went dry. She wanted to look away from Luke, wanted to tear her legs away from his grasp and run and hide in her bedroom but she knew that she couldn’t. She couldn’t bring herself to do anything other than sit and stare at him as he battled his own mind.

“Charlotte,” he whispered, his voice quiet as he tried not to hurt her. The tone of his voice told her everything that she needed to know and she felt desperate to move out of his grasp, desperate to get away from him. He could feel her attempting to tug her legs away from him and he could see the blush creeping up her neck and covering her cheeks as she shook her head.

“No, I know,” she nodded, her voice sounding close to tears as she reached out to swat at Luke’s hands. “I know, it’s dumb. I’m sorry. I, that shouldn’t have… I’m sorry. Fuck.”

“Charlotte,” Luke repeated as he kept his hands firm on her ankles to keep her in place. “Just wait a second,” he said, his voice still quiet as he reached out to pause the television show. Without the noise of Chopped in the background, the apartment fell silent around them. 

Luke could hear Charlotte’s breathing as she tried not to cry, embarrassed tears welling in the corners of her eyes as she looked anywhere but directly at him.

“It’s not bad,” he assured her as he loosened his grip on her ankles. “I just don’t think it’s a good idea,” he told her as he watched her sink back into the cushions of her couch. “I’m an old man,” he reminded her gently, his voice soft as he shook his head. “You shouldn’t want me. You should want someone your own age, someone young.”

“But I don’t,” she answered, her voice quiet and her eyes fixed into the most wide-eyed look of sincerity that Luke had ever seen. “I do want you. I know that I shouldn’t, but I do.” Charlotte hesitated for a moment, her heart in her throat, before she continued. “I’ve wanted you since we met and I know that it’s a bad idea. I know that it’s weird and complicated but can you just pretend that you want me, too? Just for tonight?”

Luke knew that he should have gotten up and left before anything happened. He knew that he should have told her no and kept his distance. But she jumped, took a flying leap off the highest peak, and expected to him to catch her. He couldn’t let her fall, not when he felt the same way about her, so he nodded his head.

He gave in to her, just as he always imagined he would if she ever got bold enough to ask.

“I want you, too. I know that I shouldn’t, but I do.”

At Luke’s confession, Charlotte felt as if all of the air had been sucked out of the room. She found herself unable to breathe, unable to think, really, and she felt as if it was all a dream she would wake up from at any given moment. She didn’t know if he was just saying that out of pity, if he was simply playing along with her wishes and giving her what she wanted, but she decided that it would be enough for her.

If she only got one night with him, if she could only have him for a moment, she would take it.

She shifted closer to him, stopping just short of the cushion he sat on, and said, “Please, Luke, kiss me.”

Luke knew that he should refuse. At the very least, he knew that he should hesitate. Charlotte was his daughter’s best friend, a girl that he had seen grow from a shy eighteen-year-old to a confident twenty-something. She was never meant to make him feel this way.

But she stirred something in him that he never imagined she would and Luke couldn’t bring himself to refuse her.

The moment the words left her lips, he pulled Charlotte closer to him and reached out to gently cup her cheek before he pressed his lips to hers.

Luke felt any doubt that had swirled in the pit of his stomach that he shouldn’t be doing this disappear as a content sigh left her lips. He felt her relax against him, settling in as close as she could get with her knees pressing into the side of his thigh, as she reached up to tangle her fingers in his curls. At the feeling, Luke relaxed into the couch, sighing contentedly as he felt her lips move against his.

They lost themselves in one another, the world around them ceasing to exist as Charlotte focused on feeling what it was like to kiss Luke after four years of pining. As Luke brought his hands to her waist, fingers warm against her skin, Charlotte imagined that she could spend the rest of her life right there and she wouldn’t mind at all.

However, her lungs were not on the same page as her brain so she was forced to pull away from Luke and take a deep breath. As she blinked at him, her chest heaving and lips slightly swollen, Luke couldn’t help but reach out and gently brush his thumbs across her cheekbones.

He stared at her for a long moment, his heart hammering in his chest, before he whispered, “You’re so beautiful, Charlotte.”

The look in Luke’s eyes was as soft as his tone and it made Charlotte’s heart beat that much faster. She stared at him, smiling at the way his curls fell into his eyes, and shook her head at the image of him. She’d always wanted him to find her beautiful, had always wanted him to shower her with compliments and make her feel like the most important woman there was, and now that she had it, she wasn’t quite sure how to handle it.

Hearing Luke call her beautiful made her feel like crying and she couldn’t help but think the same thing about him as she moved her hands and brushed the curls out of his eyes. Her fingertips trailed over his forehead, down the bridge of his nose, and dusted across his cheekbones. She attempted to memorize the feel of his skin beneath her fingers, soft and warm and real, and Luke’s eyes fluttered shut as she treated him as he was made of glass.

He couldn’t help thinking that their roles should be reversed, that he should be the one worshiping her, but he knew that she had wanted him for so long and had come to terms with her desire in a way that he had yet to. He knew that she felt for him something that he couldn’t understand, a love that he couldn’t fathom, so he resigned himself to let her take the reigns and take what she needed from their encounter.

As her fingers brushed his skin, a featherlight caress against his heated cheeks, Luke almost forgot that he had spoken until Charlotte returned his earlier sentiment with a whispered compliment of, “You are, too, Luke. You’re so beautiful.”

Luke didn’t understand how she could believe that. He didn’t understand how someone like her, young and beautiful and well on her way to making something spectacular out of her life, could think of him in that light but the reverence in her tone made him want to believe her. He wanted to believe that she saw him in that light, as someone who was worth her time, so he let himself fall into the fantasy.

“You make my heart feel like it’s going to beat out of my chest,” she confessed, her voice shaking as her fingers ran along his jawline and down the column of his throat to dip beneath the collar of his button-down. She rested them over his heart, her palm flat against his chest, and Luke opened his eyes to look at her once more.

He remembered that feeling, one he’d only gotten once before a long time ago, and he’s reminded of how confusing an onslaught of new feelings can be. He wanted to tell her that feeling everything at once, so intensely and so vividly, was simultaneously one of the best and worst feelings in the world but he imagined that that would only serve to remind her just how old he was. He didn’t want to remind her that he had so much more life experience than her, that he understood where she was coming from because he had already been there, so he didn’t.

Instead, Luke returned his hands to cup her cheeks and whispered, “Could I kiss you again?”

Charlotte couldn’t bring herself to respond verbally. Instead, she shifted so that she was a little more comfortable, tucked into his side, and tilted her head to return her lips to his.

The second kiss that they shared felt far different than the first, Charlotte imagined, as Luke’s hands moved from her cheeks. She felt a shiver run down her spine as Luke’s hands brushed the heated skin of her arms, his fingers a barely there presence as he made his way to her hips. Though she expected it, the gentle touch encompassed her and drove all thoughts of Luke out of her mind as she shifted to place a knee on either side of Luke’s thighs without breaking the kiss.

Luke’s grip on her thighs tightened as Charlotte shifted on his lap to get more comfortable. She could feel him hardening in the black pants that hugged his thighs just the way she liked and the idea that this could go beyond a makeout session on her couch had her returning her hands to Luke’s golden curls and tugging at the strands.

As Charlotte ran her fingers through his hair, Luke’s hands dipped beneath the hem of her t-shirt. His thumbs brushed her hipbones and he allowed a quiet groan to pass his lips as she shifted against him. He knew what she wanted, could feel the desire rolling off of her in waves as she crowded ever closer to him and tugged at his curls. He knew that her mind was clouding with lust and, ordinarily, Luke would take that to mean that he was doing his job. However, as he remembered exactly who was sitting on his lap, Luke gathered his wits and broke the kiss.

“Charlotte, honey,” he breathed, his voice quiet as he pulled away from her just enough to see her face, “we shouldn’t be doing this.”

Charlotte, with her flushed cheeks and kiss-swollen lips, opened her eyes and Luke could see the hazy confusion in them. He could see the sting of rejection flicker in her eyes before she shook her head.

“If you really don’t want me,” she whispered, her voice sounding just as broken as she felt, “then that’s fine. It hurts, yeah, but that’s okay. But if you’re trying to protect me or if you’re worried that I’m making a stupid decision and that I haven’t thought about it, then don’t. I know what I want, Luke, and what I want is you.”

Luke stared at her and she felt as if his eyes were piercing her soul as she met his gaze head-on. He wanted her, he really did, but he didn’t want her to wake up and regret the night they shared. He didn’t want to wake up and regret the night they shared. He wanted this to be the moment that she had dreamt of and, as he stared at her, he realized that anything he would agree to give her was exactly what she wanted.

“Are you sure about this, pretty girl?” he asked, his voice quiet as he gently brushed his thumbs across her heated skin once more. “Are you really sure you want me?”

Charlotte stared at him and Luke was amazed to find that no hesitation flickered across her face at all. She looked confident, certain, and Luke could see just how strongly she felt as she nodded her head.

“I’m so sure,” she whispered, her eyes never leaving his. She could see the concern written clearly on his face and she didn’t hesitate to move her hands from his hair to cup his cheeks. “I’m an adult, Luke,” she reminded him gently, her tone softer than before as she brushed her thumbs along his cheekbones. “I want you. Do you want me, too?”

Luke searched her eyes for any hint of doubt. In them, he saw only certainty clouded by a prominent lust and that was enough to make him nod. He knew that he shouldn’t, knew that he should deny wanting her and leave her apartment before he could do something he imagined they’d both regret, but he couldn’t help himself. Before he really thought about it, before he could control himself, he relented to her.

“I do,” he nodded, his voice just as quiet as hers had been. “I want you,” he breathed before he tapped her thigh with the tips of his fingers, “but I don’t want to do this on your couch.”

If things had been different, if the situation wasn’t as intensely emotional as he knew it was, Luke would have laughed at Charlotte’s eagerness to climb off of his lap and reach out for his hand. He would have laughed at the curses that fell from her lips as she bumped her knee on the coffee table or the way she slid against the tile floor as she lead him down the hall to her bedroom. However, the situation didn’t call for that and laughing at Charlotte’s endearing clumsiness was the farthest thing from Luke’s mind as he followed her into her bedroom, decorated in blacks and reds and far more sensual than he had ever imagined it to be.

The lingering doubt they both felt, the pricks of fear and shadows of anxiety, melted away as the pair of them stepped through the doorway. It seemed as if they both left their inhibitions in her living room as Luke’s hands returned to Charlotte’s body the moment she closed her bedroom door.

Luke pulled her forward, flush against him, before he reconnected their lips in a blistering kiss that was a mess of teeth and tongue, of passion and lust. His hands began to wander, drifting across her skin as if she was made of glass, and Charlotte could feel him brush the swell of her ass as she reached up to return her fingers to his hair.

The pair of them stood in the doorway of her bedroom, hands roaming over clothes and lips brushing, for what could have been hours. Despite the underlying anxiety, the electric fear they both felt, neither of them hurried. They both wanted to savor the moment, enjoy the fantasy and indulge themselves, and Charlotte was half-convinced that it was all a dream. She decided that she was bound to wake up at any moment and she wanted to have the most pleasant dream she could because she didn’t know if she’d ever get to experience it again.

Luke decided to let Charlotte make the first move. He wanted whatever happened to be on her terms and when he felt her fingers brush the buttons of his shirt, he whispered, “If you want to take it off, you can. If not, I’ll keep it on. It’s up to you, pretty girl.”

Charlotte hesitated for a moment, her fingers tracing the dark buttons of his shirt and her questioning thoughts returning full force as she stared at his chest. She wanted him, wanted this, more than anything so she elected to ignore anything that didn’t involve undressing Luke and popped the first button.

As Charlotte worked diligently to unbutton the remaining buttons of Luke’s shirt, his hands dipped beneath her t-shirt to splay across her ribcage. The warmth of his palms made her shudder and he smiled against her lips as he carefully brushed her heated skin. His fingertips moved to trace the band of her bra, lightly brushing the patterns of the lace, and she shivered at the feeling of his fingers tickling her skin. The cool metal of his rings bit at her skin, the contrast almost painful, but the moment his hands moved away from her, she found herself desperately searching for his touch once more.

Luke smiled at the quiet whine that escaped her lips and moved his hands to cup her breasts through the fabric of her bra. He squeezed, his touch gentle, and Charlotte arched into him as she gripped the material of his button-down between her fingers.

Emboldened by the feeling of his hands on her breasts, Charlotte decided to encourage him. She pressed herself closer to him, her skin feeling as if it was on fire with every breath she took, and whispered, “They feel better without a bra.”

In a style that Charlotte had come to identify as uniquely Luke, he smiled. His tongue pressed against his teeth, grin bright and amused, as he gently squeezed once more. He stared down at her, his eyes raking over her slightly disheveled form, before he said, “They feel pretty damn good with a bra.”

Charlotte playfully rolled her eyes as she pulled away from Luke and nudged the button down off his shoulders. He glanced at her, seeking permission, and tugged the t-shirt up and over her head following a small nod. The moment her shirt joined his on the floor, his breath caught at the sight of her standing before him.

Luke hadn’t been lying when he said he’d never really seen Charlotte in anything less than a pair of jeans or maybe a nice dress for work. However, as he stared at her, he felt as if he couldn’t tear his eyes away.

The black lace of her bra proved a stark contrast against her skin. The intricate patterns caught his eye and held it as he worked to memorize the patterns of the pretty piece that he didn’t know if he’d ever see again. “Fuck,” he breathed as he lifted his eyes from her chest to her face, “you’re so beautiful.”

When Charlotte dipped her head to hide her face, her cheeks burning at Luke’s whispered compliment, he reached out and placed two fingers beneath her chin to gently tilt her head up. “I mean it,” he assured her quietly, “you are so beautiful, Charlotte.” Luke hesitated, his voice catching in his throat, as he met her eyes. He had so much more that he wanted to say.

He wanted to sing her praises, to lavish her in compliments and shower her with sweet words. He wanted to tell her that she was the most beautiful he had ever seen and that it wasn’t because of her physical beauty. Yes, she was stunning to look at, but Luke knew her better than that. He knew her well enough to know that the little things, the endearing little quirks that can only be seen after truly getting to know someone, were the ones that made her as beautiful as she was but he couldn’t seem to get the words to leave his lips.

They felt too intimate, too serious, and Luke didn’t know if that was what Charlotte wanted from this encounter. Hell, he didn’t know if that was what he wanted from this encounter.

So, instead of speaking the words that swirled in his mind, Luke whispered, “If you’ll let me, I’d love to show you how beautiful I find you.” 

Unable to do more, Charlotte nodded at Luke’s request and returned her hands to his shoulders as he dipped his head to press a searing kiss to the column of her throat. He began walking her backward, his lips never leaving her skin, and only stopped when the back of her legs hit the side of her mattress. 

“Could you take off your bra for me, pretty girl?” he asked as he glanced down at her, his eyes dark and clouded with lust. “And do you mind if I take these?”

Charlotte swore that she could feel her heart stop as Luke hooked his thumbs in the waistband of her shorts. When she gave a small nod, her entire body alight with a giddy nervousness that she’d never felt before, Luke tugged the article of clothing down her legs and settled into place in front of her.

Luke nudged her back toward the bed and gestured for her to take a seat on the edge of her bed. Her bra joined the pile of clothes on her floor and she felt certain that Luke could see her arousal as he gently nudged her thighs apart to step between them.

Contrary to what she had experienced with past partners, Luke took his time. He pressed his lips to her jaw, trailed kisses down the column of her throat, brushed his lips across her collarbones, nipped at her chest. He only paused when he reached her breasts to glance up at her from beneath his lashes. With a nod of approval from Charlotte, Luke allowed his fingers to gently pinch and tug at one nipple while his mouth enveloped the other. His tongue swirled around the hardening bud, warm and enough to leave her thoughtless and floating as he worked.

Luke kept his eyes on her face as he gave her breasts the same treatment. He watched the way her eyes fluttered shut, how her lips parted and her cheeks tinted pink. He watched her tongue dart out to wet her bottom lip, watched her nose scrunch when she tried to keep the quiet moan from slipping past her lips, and it made him dizzy with want. He had never imagined himself here, never imagined himself in this situation with her, but to watch her, to see her react from this alone, made him desire nothing more strongly than to see this sight again and again.

Luke quieted the part of his brain that told him he was making a mistake as he pressed kisses to the heated skin of her stomach. He placed featherlight pecks, barely there brushes of his lips, against her skin and stopped just above the waistband of her panties to settle onto his knees before her. His hands gripped her thighs, fingers gentle against her skin, as he breathed, “Lie back, pretty girl,” against her skin. He lifted his eyes to look at her, the beautiful blue shining even in the dim light, and Charlotte swore she wouldn’t make it through the night if he kept looking at her like that.

Luke moved slowly, avoiding the area that she truly wanted him to touch the most, as he nudged her thighs farther apart. He placed kisses along her inner thighs, nipping and sucking at the skin and leaving small red marks in his wake as he moved as close to the apex as he could without actually touching her. Charlotte knew that he was trying to work her into a frenzy, trying to build it up just to break her down, but she realized as he pressed a kiss to her folds through the thin material of her panties that this wasn’t simply intended to tease. This was meant to be foreplay, more than any experience she’d ever had, and she couldn’t help thinking that she wouldn’t be able to handle an entire night of it.

However, the thought of not being able to survive Luke’s foreplay quickly left her mind as he tugged the lace material down her legs and tossed them with the growing pile on the floor. She decided that she’d gladly take an entire night of this, of whatever Luke wanted to give her, as she felt his tongue brush her folds. He was in no hurry, his movements almost lazy as he explored her with his hands on her thighs to keep her spread open for him.

He savored her, spent as much time as he deemed necessary between her thighs, with just his mouth for so long that Charlotte knew it wasn’t intended to make her orgasm. Instead, it was meant to be a starting point, a place for him to begin, and she found herself happy that he began there as he shifted so his shoulder pressed against her thigh to free one of his hands. His fingers brushed her entrance, one carefully slipping into her heat and giving her a moment to adjust before a second joined and he began working her open.

Charlotte didn’t think she’d ever felt anything this clearly. She could feel every drag of Luke’s fingers, could feel every brush of his skin against hers. She could feel his lips wrapped around her clit, his fingers repeatedly tapping at the small spot that had her seeing stars, and she almost felt embarrassed at how quickly the coil of her orgasm built in the pit of her stomach. However, Luke took the tangling of her fingers in his hair in stride and shifted just enough to breathe, “Cum for me, pretty girl. Let me see how beautiful you look when you cum,” before he returned his lips to her heated skin and worked his fingers just a bit faster.

It was as if Luke’s words were magic. Charlotte could feel herself falling over the edge far quicker than she ever had before but she couldn’t bring herself to care as she lost herself in the aftershocks of her orgasm. Luke’s fingers remained gentle against her thighs as he brushed her heated skin and she didn’t know what else to do other than to reach out and intertwine her fingers with his.

Luke remained on his knees for a moment, staring at her and watching her chest rise and fall rapidly as she struggled to regain her breath, before he stood and whispered, “So beautiful like this.” His words were quiet and Charlotte didn’t know if she was supposed to hear them so she said nothing. She simply watched as he leaned over her, one hand pressed to the mattress beside her head, and closed her eyes when he pressed a kiss to her lips.

Charlotte felt warm, her entire body felt like it was floating and her head felt pleasantly muddled as she laid on her bed. She wasn’t sure how much time passed with Luke pressing gentle kisses to her mouth, to her jaw, to her cheeks, but time itself seemed to stand still as she whispered, “Want you,” against his mouth. “Need you, Lu, please.”

Luke observed the blissed out look on her face, the way her eyelashes fluttered against her cheek and her lips looked so beautiful and kiss-swollen. A smile quirked his lips as he moved his hand to brush stray pieces of hair from her face and took a moment to breathe her in before he pressed a final, gentle kiss to her lips. “You’ve got me, pretty girl,” he promised her as she reached out to tug at his belt. “Can you move up for me?”

She pushed herself up on shaking arms and moved to the head of her bed as she watched Luke shove the black pants she’d found so enticing earlier in the night, what felt like decades ago, down his legs. His underwear, a pair of burgundy briefs that contrasted beautifully with his skin, followed shortly after she Charlotte stared unabashedly as he kicked them off and let them join the pile of clothes decorating her floor. She watched, her eyes wide and lust-blown, as he climbed onto her bed and moved to hover above her. The silver chain around his neck was sandwiched between and she found the metal to be a cool contrast to the warmth of Luke’s chest pressed against hers as he pressed another kiss to her lips.

“Do you have any condoms, pretty girl?”

“Nightstand,” she whispered, still slightly dazed from both her orgasm and the realization that a fantasy she’d held for so long is on its way to becoming a reality.

Luke nodded, reaching out for the foil packet from a box tucked in the very back corner of her nightstand, and glanced away from her to roll the latex onto his cock. He situated himself before he paused, his warm eyes meeting hers, and asked, “Are you sure about this? If you have any doubts, please tell me. We’ll stop, no questions asked, no hard feelings.”

“I’m so sure, Luke,” Charlotte nodded and Luke noted that she looked just as certain as she sounded. She reached out for him, her arms wrapping around his neck, and tangled her fingers in his hair as she leaned up to press another kiss to his lips. “I really do want this. Please.”

Luke nodded at her assurance and placed a hand on her hip as the other gripped the base of his cock. His lips brushed hers, a barely there presence, as he sank into her heat. She could tell that the torturously slow pace that he’d set would continue through the night as he took his time fully settling into her. By the time he was sheathed to the hilt, she was already on edge again. He paused, giving her a moment to adjust, a moment to process that this was reality, before she clenched around him and he couldn’t help himself.

He moved his free hand to her center, his fingers brushing her clit as he fucked into her. His pace was slow, deep, and she could feel every drag of his cock inside of her. She felt as if she couldn’t breathe, her lungs constricting in her chest, and it was maddening. She couldn’t control her volume, her moans spilling freely past her lips as any concern for her neighbors dissipated, as Luke’s eyes met hers.

She wanted the moment to last forever. She wanted the moment on a loop in her memory, the feeling of Luke’s body pressed to hers engrained in her mind forever, but her orgasm felt as if it was barreling toward her and there was nothing for her to do but cling to Luke’s shoulders and give herself to him as he snapped his hips just right. He buried himself inside of her and she flew over the edge for the second time, clenching around him so tightly that all Luke could do was give her a moment to ride it out.

He moved to pull out, to finish himself off with his hand, but she gripped his wrist and shook her head. “I’m okay,” she assured him, her breathing ragged and her eyes heavy, “you can keep going.”

He looked like he wanted to argue, like he thought better of it and knew he should let her rest, but she clenched around him and his resolve crumbled into dust beneath his fingers. 

Charlotte was so sensitive. Every nerve ending in her body felt as if it was on fire but she wouldn’t have traded the feeling of Luke chasing his orgasm for anything. His breath against her neck, his heated skin pressed against hers, his hand intertwined with her own, it all felt overwhelming in the best possible way. And when he grunted, breathed her name in such a reverent tone that she knew she wasn’t meant to hear, Charlotte couldn’t help the choked moan that spilled past her lips.

Luke was gentle as he pulled out, both of them groaning at the loss. He tied the condom, tossed it into the small trashcan in her bathroom, and settled beneath the covers beside her. He hesitated for a moment, unsure of whether he should wrap his arms around her, but when she shifted closer to him, he decided that there was no more harm to be done. The worst had already happened so he pulled her tight to his chest, pressed a kiss to her forehead, and tugged the blankets over the pair of them as he felt his eyes growing heavy.

He wanted to talk to her, to ask her how she felt, but her own eyes fluttered shut and Luke took that as a sign that conversation was to be avoided. But while he fell asleep fairly quickly, Charlotte’s mind raced with the thoughts she’d pushed aside the moment Luke laid a hand on her. 

She could feel her heart begin to beat wildly in her chest, her anxiety pooling in the pit of her stomach, as she wondered if this encounter meant nearly as much to Luke as it did to her. She wondered, briefly, if this would ever happen again. She wondered if anything more than a few orgasms and a chest full of guilt would come from this.

But as she wondered these things, as she pondered the future that remained wholly uncertain, she thought of Dylan. She thought of her best friend, the one who had given her everything and asked for so little in return. She thought of the girl who had been her rock in her hardest times, the one who stayed up with her and made coffee to keep her awake as she studied for exams. She thought of the girl who kept her sane, who kept her grounded.

She thought of the girl she had just betrayed.

Charlotte’s stomach turned as she thought of Dylan and of how this would make her feel. No matter how Charlotte herself felt, no matter how Luke felt; Charlotte couldn’t shake the pure terror that filled her veins at the thought of Dylan finding out. She had done something unforgivable, something that would ruin the best friendship she had ever had, and she knew that if this happened again, it would only make matters worse.

As Luke slept beside her, his chin resting on her forehead and his arms wrapped tightly around her, Charlotte listened to the steady beat of his heart. She wondered, idly, as he hands raked through his golden curls, if any of this was worth it. She wondered if she would still feel as strongly for him when the morning light entered her bedroom window or if, along with the morning light, her senses would return and they would both realize that they’d made a terrible mistake.

_______________________________________________________________________

Author’s Note: Thoughts? Feelings? Questions? This was fun. I forgot how much I love Morning Fears.

[itsmarianstories]

They call me kitty🐾

[Jikook Social Media Au]

Part 40: Play the act >> Part 41

Jungkook is a bratty college student, who stumbles through life, trying to find his way. He is attractive and he knows it, so he is used to getting whoever he wants. Until a certain cute boy walks into his life with swaying hips and fluttering lashes, who seems completely unimpressed by Jungkook. However, being the stubborn boy that he is Jungkook refuses to give up just yet, not knowing that with that he has already become a figure in Jimins game of life.

(A/N: We are nearing the end everyone, not many parts are left! What do you think how will it end?)

.................................................................................................

Jeongguk bounced his leg nervously. They were sitting in a car, Jimin by his side. The next hour would probably decide the rest of their lifes. Jimin squeezed his thigh.

“Calm down, bunny. By being this nervous you are only making it worse.” Jimin said while scrolling through his phone.

“How are you so relaxed? What if something goes wrong?” He asked. Jimin sighed and put his phone down, turning towards his partner.

“Nothing will go wrong.” He said, just as the car stopped. “You know why? Because I planned everything. We check and checked again, nothing will go wrong.” His smile calmed Jeongguk down a little. Jimin cupped his face and pulled him into a kiss.

“Now, make a sad face and let me do the talking, okay? It’s show time!” Jeongguk saw a sparkle in Jimins eyes but it quickly died again once the older turned towards the door. 

They stepped outside and people immediately turned towards them. A whole mob of reporters, journalists and paparazzi. All right in front of the cities main police station. Jimin took his hand and they shared a look. Jeongguk was amazed by Jimins acting skills. The older looked so sad and scared with just a tiny hint of anger.

“Thank you for coming, everyone. We really appreciate it! We didn’t plan on going this far b-but---” Jimin cleared his throat and quickly wiped at his eyes, quick enough to make it look sneaky, but slow enough for everyone to see. Jeongguk rubbed his back and tried to look pathetic. “We just didn’t know what else to do anymore! This has been going on for so long and we--- we just want to live in peace.” Jimin said and that’s when the doors opened and a bunch of heavily armed police men rushed out. Jimin jumped and made himself small as his teary eyes widened. He really looked like a scared kitten and Jeongguk did his best to copy him as the police men circled them with their weapons pointed at them and yelled orders. The bunch of press people screamed and went wild, some ran away but most of them took a pictures or videos of the whole fiasco. Jeongguk had to bit the inside of his cheek to not grin. 

The pair had to lay down on the floor with their arms on their backs. They faced each other and shared a knowing look. Jimin started full on crying and sobbed loudly “Why are you doing this? What did we do wrong?” Two guys came and roughly felt them up and down for any non existent weapons. 

“This is diskrimination, we didn’t do anything wrong! You can’t do this!” Jimin yelled, his face red and puffy. Even Jeongguk believed him and wanted to run over and dry his tears. The police men pulled them off the ground and towards the police station as someone read them their rights. Jimin and Jeongguk both threw several glances towards the camera to make sure their devastated, scared expressions could be seen. 

The couple shared another glance as they were parted inside the station. They’d both be investigated separately. Jimin gave him a silent order to keep the act up and remember what they discussed earlier. They both agreed it would be best for Jeongguk to not say anything, so they decided on the “Jeongguk tough guy, Jimin soft boy” strategy. 

Jeongguk was brought into a cell at first, but he was prepared for it. He just waited patiently until a man came and pulled him out again, into a investigating room. They made him sit down, not unlocking his handcuffs. 

“So, Jeon Jeongguk, huh? How nice to meet again.” Jeongguk recognized them. The two detectives were the same who already investigated him once. Jeongguk didn’t say anything.

“Last time you said you don’t know about his business and illegal doings. Considering the developments in your--- relationship I guess you are now more filled in.”

“And you are still as clueless as ever.” Jeongguk mumbled. The guys perked up.

“What do you mean?” Jeongguk grimaced and leaned forward.

“I mean, that you are all mad obsessed with this idea of Kitty being some weird mafia boss. You put all these expectations onto him that he has drug labs, or a human trafficking ring but you have absolutely nothing to prove any of it. And do you know why? Because it’s! Not! True!” The detectives gave him angry glares but Jeongguk didn’t care. His part was done, he wouldn’t say anything more. They kept asking him questions about Jimin but also Jin and Hoseok but Jeongguk only shook his head and stated that he wanted his lawyer. Eventually they gave up and brought him back to the cell. This time Jimin was there as well. The older was cowering on the hard plank bed, eyes still red and sniffling. Jeongguk immediately went to hug him. Jimin hid his face in Jeongguks neck.

“How did it go?” He murmured quietly. 

“Good, they were mad as fuck.” Jeongguk whispered back, not allowing himself to chuckle.

“Okay. They’ll probably keep us for a little while longer, but eventually we’ll get our lawyers here, than we’ll make our move. It'll be over soon." They cuddled up on the hard bed and waited. Talking about random things or making out a bit, just because they knew those homophobic bastards were watching through a camera. 

Just like Jimin said eventually someone came to get them put. Two men and a woman dressed in very expensive looking suits demanded both of them to be freed. Jimin kept his role up as the intimidated, soft boy and he greeted their lawyers accordingly. They were all part of the plan so Jimin let them take over. The woman stepped up to the detectives with a stern expression.

"I hope you are aware that this will have consequences. My client has continuously been mistreated and I'll make sure that it won't continue any longer. Since you don't have anything to keep them we will go now, but just know that you will hear from us." She said and stormed off, the whole entourage following. 

Jeongguk took a breath of relief as they stepped out of the building. There were still -or again, he wasn't sure- photographers and reporter, who immediately crowded them and yelled questions. Jimin stepped forward shyly, his fists clenched in his sweater paws. He looked adorablen

"The police have mistreated my boyfriend and I for a while now. I get it, I have to admit that I've done b-bad things in my past," his voice started shaking as he spoke to the press "but a lot of it was because I didn't know better. I grew up as an orphan, so I learned to fight to survive. I guess they target me because I own a lot of nightclubs and brothels, but I just want to clarify that all my establishments are licensed and I don't force anyone to work for me." Again he wiped a tear away. "I've seen a lot of horrible things in my past so I wanted to do bet. There will always be a sex market, no matter if people like it or not, so I wanted to do better. To offer a chance to not support sex slavery. I didn't know people would hate me so much for it." Jeongguk stepped forward and hugged Jimin to calm him down slightly. Jimin took a few moments before he spoke again.

"Anyways, I don't want to portray myself as the victim. I'd just like some justice for us, because we get mistreated a lot for no reason. Thank you for listening." Jimin bowed deeply, Jeongguk followed and soon later they left towards the black car that was already waiting for them. They hopped inside together with the layers. And as soon as they started driving Jimins whole demeanor changed. 

He leaned back and pushed his hair back, wiping his whole face clean and grinning brightly.

"Well wasn't that fun?" He giggled, nothing was left of the shy, scared boy from just minutes earlier. 

"The speech was really good. The press will go wild the next few days, just slightly before they calm down again we'll come with the lawsuit so no one dares to forget. They won't have any other chance but to eat out of our hands." The woman chuckled.

"You love cases that you can't lose, don't you Chungha?" Jimin smirked. 

"Who doesn't love winning?" She said and leaned back as well. Jeongguk still couldn't believe they actually made it work.

[mtvswatches]

Wynonna Earp 2x12 I Hope You Dance

Click here for previous recaps!

Stray thoughts

1) Waverly confronts Bobo and the widows, certain that Bobo won’t hurt her. He admits he might not, but he won’t help her either. In an uncharacteristically honest moment, he admits that caring about her has only brought him pain. Waverly quips that no one said parenthood was easy. And I’M FREAKING OUT? IS THIS HER WAY OF CONFIRMING BOBO IS HER FATHER?!

2) Thankfully, Wynonna arrives on time, but Peacemaker is completely useless now that the seal is broken and this MOFO is waking up…

Shit is about to go down and I’M NOT READY. I’m really curious to see what Clootie looks like, though, I feel he’ll look something like the Master.

3) The sisters take a breather before all hell breaks loose, and I appreciate it…

You know what else I appreciate? Wynonna’s top priority – making sure Doc is not dead.

4) Well, Dolls is not dead, which is good, but not the answer I was expecting.

5) I truly appreciate the brief moment of levity…

6) So, this is what she had figured out before she went poof…

7) Wynonna is terrified that Doc might be dead now that the ring is broken. I’m Jeremy, btw.

8) I’m sorry, but is there anything more badass than trying to save the world while you’re about to give FUCKING BIRTH?!

9) WTF! Clootie is going to have Wynonna’s baby for dessert???!!

10) Oooh, I kind of saw this coming but I didn’t want to get my hopes up!

MERCEDES: Actually, I want a separation.

MERCEDES: Chopped my way into the 21st century. The world has changed. Hell, look at Wynonna Earp. She is 10 times the gunslinger Wyatt ever was and he put Bulshar in the ground! I want that ring!

I’m really into this new form of empowerment? Evil ladies also need to break free from the misogynistic ties to their evil lords. You go, Glenn Coco! Or Elsa, I guess…

She just took off and buried Bobo, Clootie and her sister. Does this mean that the season’s Big Bad was Mercedes all along? And not Clootie! Damn, I really love that plot twist!

11) The Iron Witch says the plate only works as a shield, and these two badass motherfuckers are not having it…

Can they look any more badass?! And I really wish they had allowed Wynonna to say fucking!

12) Dolls finds Doc at his home…

He’s having an existential crisis over being mortal and he’s basically contemplating suicide. And I almost believed he couldn’t take not being ageless anymore, but it was the possibility of living a mortal life in a Wynonna-less world that was pushing him over the edge because the second he heard she was still alive…

It’s like his soul returned to his body… and now he’s willing to die but for an entirely different reason, and I swear to God, I choked up during this whole scene. Does that make sense? Am I an idiot?

13) I guess there’s no better time for confessions than when facing the possibility of absolute and total obliteration. In a few seconds, Waverly breaks the news to Wynonna that Nicole is married and that she’s not Wynonna’s sister. Wynonna’s reply is quick and certain…

A lot of emphasis is placed on the bloodline in this show, considering the whole hereditary curse. But nothing as volatile as blood would ever get in the way of Waverly and Wynonna. They are sisters if ever sisters there were.

I truly love how there was no hesitation. At the same time, I wonder if the lack of hesitation means Wynonna had considered this possibility before?

14) Okay, Wynonna literally has one shot to kill Clootie, get rid of the Widows, and break the curse. Cool. Cool cool cool cool.

15) Jeremy and Nicole are having this super sweet moment…

JEREMY: And, uh, I stay because I don't fit in here. But none of you ask me to. I'm allowed to be me. NICOLE: You're part of the family. And being part of the family means...

AND THEN THIS FUCKING ELSA FROM HELL BURST INTO THE ROOM AND NEARLY GAVE ME A HEART ATTACK…

And please don’t tell me that we’re using the “put Nicole in peril” schtick again! And we’re adding Jeremy into the mix! Just great!

16) THE BABY IS FUCKING COMING AMIDST ALL THIS DEBACLE!

17) I’M FUCKING DEAD.

She’s my queen, I love her, I’d sell my soul for Wynonna Earp, I’ve said it.

18) Oh, the other McBitch just arrived and is threatening Waverly while Elsa says Wynonna is the weapon she’s been looking for, and what the fuck is going on?

19) Wynonna’s sigh of relief and barely noticeable smile when she sees Doc is alive, though…

I leave for these moments.

20) NOT THESE FUCKING MOMENTS, THOUGH! WHAT THE HELL ARE THEY DOING?!

21) UGH THESE TWO MOTHERFUCKERS ALMOST GOT ME!

Two birds, one stone. These two! They could convey their plan using a code they could only understand! Why aren’t they together?!

But there’s still Clootie and Bobo, right…

And the baby is coming…

22) Ugh the fire-assholes have shown up, they offed Wynonna’s doctor and they’re coming after the baby!

23) WHAT’S THE FUCKING PLAN? WHAT WILL THEY DO WITH THE BABY? IS NICOLE GOING TO TAKE THE BABY AWAY? They’re talking about crossing the triangle…

24) WTF ROSITA!!!!!!!

THIS FUCKING EPISODE DOESN’T LET UP!

25) Bobo has gone Spike…

So Clootie or Bulshar or whoever sucked something out of Bobo and Bobo offered up Waverly as the Big Bad’s new bride WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK!

26) Great. JUST FUCKING GREAT.

27) Oh, thank god, something worked out!

Wynonna basically willed Peacemaker into accepting Waverly as an Earp!

28) Brendan Fehr is saying that Wynonna is going to corrupt the baby and screw it up and I’m like… Brendan Fehr, I was rooting for you!

29) Damn, Dolls!

At least they died in their element. Get it?

30) When you try to come up with a good comeback and you just…

31) I guess I’ll just have to get used to Bobo never being back for more than two episodes…

32) I’m not crying, you are…

I'm the Earp heir. They're always coming for me and everything I love. I don't want to. I didn't realise how much I wouldn't want to. You're the coolest thing I ever did. You're going to have it much better than me. I promise.

And Waverly is taking the baby away and Wynonna is asking her to make sure that Doc gets a moment with him and I’m here, dying.

33) Waverly and the baby just crossed over the border and neither of them burnt, which means that the baby is Doc’s and the revenants don’t have any claim over it. But what does this mean for Waverly? Whose daughter is she, then?

34) Wynonna just offed the whole gang of revenants, but it doesn’t really feel satisfying at all when her baby is being sent away minutes after being born…

35) Did Jeremy just used Waverly and Nicole’s ship name?! HE FUCKING DID!

36) Perry is taking the baby as a way to thank Wynonna for saving his life. Cool dude.

37) And now Doc is meeting the baby and I WON’T SURVIVE THIS SHIT!

I CAN’T BREATHE. EVERYTHING HURTS.

38) Bobo just got a holiday for one in the well, and he admits that he never said Waverly was his daughter, just kin. I repeat, what does this mean for Waverly? Who is her father? Doc confesses that when Dolls shot him, he was sent to hell. It remains to be seen how long he was there - if it was a few hours or a few centuries, and what impact this will have on him…

39) Wynonna named the baby after both of their mothers and I’m a mess…

This is not the happy ending I wanted for these two.

40) There’s so much I don’t understand…

The woman narrating is Wynonna’s mother? And she’s ALIVE? Has she been alive this whole time? What about the secretive look between Dolls and Nicole? Is she having second thoughts about her divorce? And what about the folder she was holding with info about Bulshar? Is she working with Dolls behind Waverly’s back? And how can Jeremy and Waverly be acting so carefree when everything is a mess?

If Wynonna’s mom is alive, there’d better be an explanation as to why this was never brought up before. It doesn’t make any sense!

I need Alice in Wynonna and Doc’s life, okay? This can’t be the end of that storyline, I just won’t accept it.

41) Amazing season finale, full of plot twists and emotional moments. I’ll admit I shed more than one tear. I truly can’t believe how the show continues to be so fast-paced and engaging. There never is one minute, one line, one scene wasted – everything has meaning and is relevant to the plot, and it never lets up and I’m so excited to see what they have to offer in season 3, and hopefully, I’ll catch up before season 4 premieres!

This show is quickly climbing up the ladder of my very short and exclusive list of favorite shows, I swear. I’m already looking forward to rewatching it and discovering things I’d missed the first time around.

42) Hope you enjoyed my recap, and, as usual, if you’ve got this far, thank you for reading! If you enjoy my recaps and my blog, please consider supporting it on ko-fi.Thanks!

[runathepianist]

A Quick Checklist on Self Exploration

Hello everyone! Today I’m going to write down some of a quick checklist of my own self exploration based on question provided by ELE on this twitter link! (https://twitter.com/xlittle_ele/status/1275847156629475328) 

I will write things here in order not to spam your Twitter Timeline too much.

1. First of all, introduce yourself! What’s your name? My name is Runa. People usually call me by that name, but some others call me Ruru, Na-chan, some call me by the name of Xiao Wei and some other more.

2. Where are you from? From this universe; specifically, my mother’s womb. 

3. Do you have any hobbies? If so, which one? I have plenty of things that I could call as my hobbies.  I do music, specifically piano, but lately I’m trying out some other instrument as well, like kalimba/ ukulele. I like to write stories/ letters to friends/ daily journal, I like to re-arranged my room when I got the mood and time to do it, I love to watch some movies/ series and read stories/ manga as well. 

4. If you could travel anywhere in the world, where will you go? Hhm...Lemme see...I think I would love to go to Tasmania.  I personally loves to go to those minor places that people are not really put an eye to. Rather than going to those mainstream places. Partially, I want to go to Tasmania ever since I watch a Singapore drama series [Sudden] and part of the scenery in that series was taken at Tasmania. It makes me want to go there and visit the real place someday.

5. Do you believe in love at the first sight? Hmm...Not really, actually. Maybe because I’m a person who usually fall in love after I have interacted with the person for quite some time. Maybe because I rarely deeply attracted with how someone’s physical looks, but more into the personality they have within them.

6. What’s your favourite song at the moment? If you don’t have one, what’s the last song you listened to? I’m listening to quite a lot of Hiroyuki Sawano’s composed OST songs these days lately and also currently re-listen to Rachmaninoff piano concerto in C minor. 

7. What’s your favourite food? A lot (?) But mostly I love those salty food rather than sweet stuffs.  

8. What’s the first thing you think of when you wake up in the morning? It is either I’m trying to remember about the dream I dream of last night, or I feel grateful that I’m still be able to stay alive today. Sometimes, I could think of some random stuffs that suddenly struck me when I’m awake in the morning.

9. Do you believe in soulmates? Not really, but I believe that people are attracting people with the same/ similar frequencies with them, so if I want to see how my future soulmates is, I just need to mirror on myself and see how I’m living my life so far and how’s my true personality is. 

10. What do you want to become in the future? A wonderful lady artist (musician) for myself, wife for my husband and an awesome mother of two or three. 

11. What’s your favorite book? Kate DiCamillo’s The miraculous journey of Edward Tulane All poetry books by Lang Leav Le petite prince - Antoine de Saint-Exupery Steal like an artist  - Austin Kleon 

12. Favorite Season? Hmm...Spring time?

13. What’s the best memory you have with your friends? Hmm..Actually I couldn’t really recall any. Maybe there was, but I’m a forgetful person, really. 

14. What’s your biggest dream? To have a peaceful and healthy (both physically and mentally) life with my beloved family and dearest people. 15. If you could change one thing about yourself, what it’ll be? I wonder...Maybe my cowardness? 

16. What’s your favorite movie? Hmm...There are a lot too, but lemme spell out some that I could still remember the title. It’s kinda hard to name, since I’m usually more into series than movie. The Devil wears prada, Up in the air, Habibie & Ainun, Yes Man, How to train your dragon 1 & 2,  Finding Mr. Right.

17. Do you have a crush on someone? Hmm...I currently have a fiance. Does this count as one?

18. If you knew you were gonna die tomorrow, what will you do? Write a letter and prepare parting gift for everyone. Have a good talk and convey everything that I would love to tell to my beloved dearest people surround me. 

19. Do you feel proud of yourself? Yes I do

20. What do you think is your safe place? Y’know, that place/ thing that helps you feel better when you need it the most? Bathroom, because it gives you privacy though you are surrounded by people. I mean, it’s rare to see other people following you into bathroom right? So the sense of personal space is there in the bathroom. At least, for me personally. 

21. Do you believe in ghosts? I believe it exist in terms of frequencies. This universe is filled by various frequencies and they are unseen, but you could sometimes feel it. That’s how I define feelings, and ghosts. 

22. Do you miss someone? I miss myself, sometimes, and some people that have passed away, sometimes.

23. Do you have any pets? What are their names? I used to have hedgehogs, but I don’t have any with me now after their death.

24. Are you a night person or a morning one? I could say I’m a night owl. Morning doesn’t really work well for me. 

25. Are you part of the LGBT community? Nope, but I’m okay with being friend with people who are part of the LGBT community.

26. What’s your favorite video game? Hmm...Those old games, like Fatal Frame series, La pucelle, phantom brave, disgaea, some otome games like amnesia series/ hakuoki. 

27. What’s the reason you wake up every morning? Life goes on, so yeah.

28. Do you look up to someone? Hmm...it’s a yes and a no. 

29. What’s something you’ve wanted to try for a while, but haven’t done it yet? Go somewhere far away, enjoy tranquility and the nature, alone. 

30. What’s the meaning of life for you? It’s an endless journey of finding oneself and spreading positivity and love to people surround us. 

31. Do you play any instruments?  I play mostly piano and those instruments within the same family like keyboard, electone, pianika, etc. Side: I tried ukulele, kalimba, recorder, etc.

32. What’s the most annoying thing you had to deal with? The battle within myself,  How to deal with the society surrounds me. 

33. How would you define “art”? Wabisabi - the beauty in imperfection.

34. Do you think you’re a different person now because of quarantine and everything that happened in the world? Not really, but I do find out how lazy I actually am after this quarantine.  How I am really a jak-of-all-trades; well, it just some self-exploration,  but to say that I’m a different person now? Nah, no! I’m still me. 

35. Name one thing you hate that others love? Those material related stuffs.

36. What do you think that happens after we die? My soul with emerge with this universe and my physical body will blend into one to the soil. I will become frequencies and when the right moment comes, I will be born again in this universe in a different form.

37. Do you have any regrets? I do, but I don’t want to dwell into things in the past too much as there is no way we could change the past, but I’m striving to change now to change the future instead.

38. Love or being loved? Being loved is awesome. 

39. What’s the best advice someone has ever given to you? Marriage is not about love, because love won’t last for years,  but please keep enhancing yourself to be the best version of yourself and never forget to build consciousness within yourself. Based on that, you support each other, appreciate each other and trust each other as couple.  (Advice given by Nichiren Daishonin Buddha to his disciple, Shijo Kingo)

I really like this a lot when I stumble on this, and apparently it’s one of advice that I took dearly within my heart until now as a guidance.

40. What are you afraid of? When I make my family upset/ something bad happen to them

41. Describe yourself in 5 words Simplicated Jack of all trades

42. How’s your relationship with your parents/ siblings? Very good. We never really have any toxic relationship with each other though of course we are all not perfect and there are things that we should work on for each of us. 

43. Would you rather live in a big city or in a small town? Hmm...A small town that is able to travel to a big city for a travel distance less than an hour by train. I miss my time spent when I was in Diemen. It was a nice small city near Amsterdam. 

44. Have you ever been on a relationship? Yes

45. What’s the happiest memory that comes to your mind right now? I’m actually pretty sleepy and zombie mode right now, so I couldn’t think off any specific moment, but I think most of moments in my life is a bit bitter with lots of sweetness on it, so yeah! Those moments spent with my family are the best.

46. Do you easily trust others? Nope. I usually have minus trust with other people other than my own core family. Even I couldn’t trust my extended family too much. 

47. Have you ever dyed your hair? Nope, but I usually try some wigs instead. 

48. What’s the first thing you notice when you meet someone new? Of course, it’s physical appearance (though I should say I don’t put much attention on physical thing) since it’s the first thing that we could see with bare eyes.

49. If you could only listen to one album for the rest of your life, which one it’ll be?  I’ll just pick one from KOKIA album. I love her so much. Any album could do, but maybe I’ll choose the best collection album since it contains more songs there LMAO

50. Tag someone to remind them how much you love and care about them... Hmm..I will tag my sister perhaps XD The other family members of mine don’t have twitter.

51. What was your favourite toy when you were a kid? Dolls? I forgot. ahahaha. 

52. What’s your biggest pet peeve? When people in society only judge people based on material possession they have rather than by their hearts. It annoys me so much when I encounter one.

53. If you could change one thing in the world to make it a better place, what will you do? I don’t have any idea right now. Writer’s block.

54. Have you ever got involved with drugs/ alcohol? Nope. Never.

55. What do you think is your aesthetic? Hmm... All of me?

56. Do you enjoy traveling? Yes, but sometimes not really since traveling is tiring, but it’s good to see a different scenery once in a while. 

57. What’s your favorite show? Hmm...I don’t really have one maybe? Is anime consider as show? I don’t think so huh.

58. Are you into witchcraft? Nope.

59. What would be your ideal gift? Hmm...I never really have any specific desire in life, but usually I love letterset/ notebook/ fluffy stuffs/ tea/ coffee/ any aesthetic/ vintage stuffs around. I usually treasure more intangible things than tangible one, so yea. 

60. Do you think you’re a good person? It depends on how you define a good person is.

61. Are you more of an introvert or an extrovert? I’m introvert.

62. Have you ever gone to a concert? Yes, I did. Some classical concert and Kingdom Heart orchestra tour concert. 

63. How will your ideal first date be? When there is no drama occurs and compatibility is there, ah, with good food and tea as well.

64. Do you think there’s life in others planets? Mayhap. Why not? I’m open to any possibilities.

65. What do you do when you feel sad? I play/ listen to music, watch something, write something, take a good shower with favorite scented soap.

66. If you could travel back in time to another century, which one will you pick? Hmm....The year where I’m born. 

67. Do you often remember your dreams? Yes, I do!

68. Name one thing you hate about your country I don’t really have one.

69. If you won the lottery, what will you do with all the money? I’ll buy a house for myself (and my future family) and another one to build a public library/ an orphanage. 

70. Any guilty pleasure? Quite a lot, actually. 

[alitheamateur]

The Grind-Chapter 10

Warnings: Violence. 

Round Two

Mendez wasted no valuable time in attacking Colton when the bell for the second round rang out. Three left jabs connected to Colt’s rock-hard jawbone, and he rattled his head as if to shake off the confused stupor clouding him.

“Don’t let him back you into the cage, Colton!! Get off the cage!!” Mac coned his mouth to project the cries of instruction.

The newly named “punisher�� masked his stubbled cheeks and doubled over, flexing his abs to lessen the blow of the jabs he was suffering at the hands of The “Matador” Mendez. Colt was able to duck beneath the repetitive one-one-two-one-two pattern and escape. Danny turned swiftly on his right foot to directly meet a lightening surged, spinning back fist produced by Colton that couldn’t have been more perfectly executed had it been wrapped in a floppy red bow. The fastens of the championship belt were metaphorically loosening from the waist of the current title holder. Mendez collapsed wobbly to land at the feet of his assassin, while the rest of the room, myself included, rose in entirety for confirmation that Mendez was rendered unconscious.

A mumbled “shit” rolled over my bitten tongue when he scraped his busted body off the mat, and I realized there was still some fight left in him. Too much for my liking, as a matter of fact. Colt detected Danny was standing on loose bearings, fully primed to finish him off so that referee could lift his likely shattered hand in victory.

“Brett, I’ve taken many a hit like the one Ritter just slung, and I can promise you that Dan doesn’t even know where the hell he is right now.” The retired fighter turned announcer crumpled his nose as The Matador staggered clumsily about the confines of the cage.

Beads of sweat waterfalled from Colton, while it appeared he had turned Mendez’s sweat to blood now. Crimson mist from the brutal blow veiled my Colt’s face in sprayed decoration, leaving him to resemble a battling Spartacus. He was hunting the afflicted animal of his adversary, who was obviously giving his best efforts to remain untouched the dwindling minutes of the round. Effort that sadly for Danny was in vain as his Punisher cornered him with panther like reflexes, unleashing combative hammer fists to his crouched torso. A strident roar more chilling than that of any jungle predator crawled from Colton’s straining, veined throat as he was peeled away from Danny, who was now quaking in the momentary safety of his corner until the next bell rang out beginning the third round.

Colton’s posse catered to his unsteady breathing chest by smashing ice packs to his pecks, and blotching back muscles, leaving Mac to pour water into his gapping mouth. My eyes drooped in mesmerizing ignorance upon the realization of what the world of competitive fighting really entailed. Men who chose this career path were born with the hearts of gladiators, and unfaltering dedication that I deeply admired. When I wisped back to the present moment, my dilated eyes were matched with the two belonging to Colton. His mouth drawn into an expressionless line, jaws flexing in tension, he held onto my gazes for only a moment, however long enough to feel as if I would suffocate from the intensity. It was like he wanted to assure me that he knew I was there, and where exactly. And that he was okay.

One Sunday over brunch at his favorite greasy diner he shut up my harassment of questions.

“You’re gonna have to cool it with the worryin’, woman. Have some faith in me, ight! When you tell me about a story you been workin’ on you don’t hear me sayin’, ‘You sure you wanna do that?’ or ‘that’s a lotta pressure, baby.’ Because I know how amazing you are at what you do, and I got total confidence you’re gonna make that story your bitch. I appreciate the concern. Honestly love, I do. But it’s gonna be fine, I promise ya’.” And in his eyes, tonight in that ring, he reiterated that very same Sunday brunch pep talk.

 Round Three

Colton had appeared to have jumped the proverbial hurdle described as Danny Mendez. Now, we just needed to cross that finish line, and cross it first. There was no way Dan could withstand another round like the previous two, physically or mentally. He was all but a whipped pup whimpering at his master’s feet by this point, but Colt had to finish him. Seal the deal, as they say.

“C’mon, baby. C’mon, baby,” I chanted through clenched teeth, my nervous hands clasped to each side of the chair to protect my newly manicured nail polish from being whittled away in edginess.

Light hands were being tossed between the two men, nothing quite connecting initially. However, when Mendez carried out a right hook resembling Rocky  himself to Colt’s left cheek, he was triggered. From several feet back, separated by a metal cage, a waist high barricade, and two rows of people, I had chills from the look on his face. Raw rage was swirling in Colt’s blue eyes that must be like mood rings because I would swear with every ounce of me that they melted to a muddled charcoal grey shade as his murderous ferment grew.  Blow after blow. Swing, after swing, after swing rained from his hands of steel, some connecting, most not. His overpowering fury and lack of control was swelling all too quickly.

A wonky, sloppily executed move sent him clumsily into the grasp of Mendez, who perfectly seized the fluky opportunity. When Colt nearly knelt to reach for the leg The Matador, his nose and sharp cheekbone crashed to the thigh of Danny. The muscled, male flesh grappling along the blood tarnished canvas was more jumbled to me than the most abstract piece of Picasso. Finally, when the bodies settled a little, I was able to distinguish better what was unfolding. The Punisher’s clearly weakening forearm was constricted between the bulging limbs of Danny.  I subconsciously lunged out of my seat, for a millisecond forgetting what my role truly was here tonight. Not Colton’s girlfriend, not a woman concerned for the well-being of the man she loved, but a columnist for the Pilot. So, as quickly as I was up, I was regretfully seated, left to repel the blazing desire I had to hop that padded retaining wall and run to where Mac stood to be at the side of my Colton.

His face buried into the upper body of his attacker, who was using his hooked arms to ease Colt’s elbow to the back side of his neck. Silencing the uproar of the crowd, and the desperate grimaces coming from the ring, and I could almost hear the tendons buried under my boyfriends tanned skin creaking in stretch, nearing a tear.

“FOLKS IT IS HAPPENING RIGHT HERE, RIGHT NOW. If you’re not seeing this one first hand boys and girls, you should be! Danny with the flawless Kimura Lock, Brett. Will Ritter be able to escape this one?” The analyst screamed.

We’d been over arm bars, bare naked chokes, bow and arrow chokes, triangle chokes. Many nights I spent cross legged against the ring post watching Colton perform, and escape nearly every martial arts submission known to man. But the word Kimura didn’t draw any recognition when I heard the broadcaster scream it to the world. Seconds as long as the day ticked, ticked, ticked by. 44 seconds remaining… 41…….. 35……….. Suddenly, the tapping of a submissive hand to the mat. 

A hand strapped in black gloves. Gloves marked Ritter. Mendez was ceased by flailing hands of the ring official, signaling the end of the battle. His victorious hand raised to display, mouthpiece hanging out the left of his lip. In all my life, you could’ve never convinced me this egotistical, loud mouth, headache of a man would commit the act he did next. Squatting to his still face down, defeated opponent, Danny looped his arms under those belonging to Colton, hoisted him to his feet, and embraced him with patted hands into a hug. He had secured their heads together with a palm to crown of his submitters head, and began preaching unheard praises in his ear. Colton responded with knowing nods of appreciation, and the pair were torn apart for the official call from the referee. Not hanging around to partake in the celebration of his defeat, Colton snuck through the opened door of the cage, seeking the escape to his dressing room, away from the shutterbugs in his face, and microphones chasing him. I hoped maybe his eyes would happen to fall my way, wanting to gift him with a smile of support, or even a frown of understanding. But when the pace of his slightly bowed, unmistakably masculine gait increased toward the tunnel, never raising his face from the floor, a heap of strife bloomed in the pits of my stomach.    

 Regretfully I had to stay & witness “almighty” Mendez once again take the belt back into his slimy hands. This reign was beginning to smell stagnant to most of the fan base across the board, and Colton seemed to be the knight with the best chance at snagging the crown right from his head. Much, much to my surprise, Danny’s first post-victory radio interview began with the unexpected praises of one Colton.

“First of all, I want to thank Ritter for giving me what may have been the most challenging match of my life. The pendejo prick can throw a jab, I’ll give him that.”

Despite the uniquely gracious compliment, the guy still rubbed me the wrong way.

The arena emptied quite quickly, and most of the media frenzied their way to the locker room area for the press conference, coveting to be front row. But I was very familiar with how anything “post” event played out. The athletes and/or coaches usually took their painfully precious time for our brains to rot in waiting, then when they did eventually decide to grace us with their usually self-proclaiming marvelous appearance, it would include all of answering maybe two questions, before storming out. So clearly, I was in no hurry and I figured I had a solid half hour to check on Colt beforehand.

Beth, Michael, and Mac stood identically against the cold concrete of the walls, arms folded about their chest. His mom acknowledged me first.

“Liv dear, hey there!” she drew my hands into hers. “How are you? I’m sure as disappointed as we are…”

“It really is a shame. He had it won, too! He has nothing to be ashamed of though, that’s for sure! Even Mendez was kinda singing his praises out there. Guess that’s just how the world of fighting goes sometimes, unfortunately. How is he?”

Beth never released my hands when looking to her sternly quite husband standing to the left of her.

“Kid won’t see anyone, honey. Got Mac here guarding the door like a rabid dog. This is pretty typical for him. ‘Specially after a loss.” Michael seemed accustomed to said behavior from his son. Annoyed, but accustomed nonetheless.

Beth on the other hand, looked as if she was profoundly saddened that her baby boy didn’t need his momma during a time like this. Her lips tucked in, forehead scrunched in concern.

“Maybe I can raise his spirits a bit, hm?” I gently brushed my soft thumbs to the tops of her hands in efforts to comfort her, then released her hold.

Before I could even wrap a finger around the sliver handle of the door he was hiding behind, Mac’s forearm dropped even between my waist level and the door, reflexes like that of a cat on a tin roof.

“Sorry, sweetheart. I can’t let you go in there. Just doin’ as I’m told, you understand.”

Those rules didn’t apply to me, silly Mac. I’m the woman he loves for crying out loud! I’d hate to be you when he finds out you’re keeping me away for him, ya’ poor sap.

“Just tell him I’m here, Mac. Please?”

His eyes grew to resemble large, glossy marbles and he exhaled in annoyance, disappearing into the room. I combed and teased fingers through my hair, and casually reapplied a layer of Chapstick to my now festering lips resulting from the nervous biting throughout the fight. No sooner than the door had latched behind him, Mac had stepped back out into the now hectic hallway.

“I uh… I’m sorry, Miss Liv. Colt doesn’t wanna see anyone right now.”

“Did you specifically tell him it was ME, Mac,” I quizzically pried, laying both hands over my chest.

“Yes ma’am. Mentioned you by name…” He was bashful, almost embarrassed for me, and probably half pissed at his buddy for appointing him the bearer of bad news.

Shame flushed me head to toe. I would’ve buried my head six feet in the sand that very moment, mortified with humiliation. Let me clarify, I could’ve buried Colton himself six feet under the cold dirt first, then my head. My thumb started to flick my pointer finger, a nervous tick engaging.

“Oh darling, don’t take it personally, okay? The boy will be all apologies once he snaps out of this little tantrum he’s throwing. I’m sure if it.” Beth said unintentionally patronizing.

“No, no. Um… it’s totally fine. Yeah, um.. I’ve gotta get to the post conference anyways so… Beth, it’s so, so good to see you both. Maybe we can meet you guys for breakfast or something in the morning before you head home?”

I could feel my throat tightening with the extreme effort I was giving to hold the dam of tears from bursting. I wasn’t even necessarily hurt, it was the fact that he had made me look like an absolute fool, and in front of his parents, nonetheless. Now, I’m sure they saw me as just another spineless, dense airhead hanging on the coattails of their handsome, prized son.

“Good to see you too, girl. You be careful gettin’ home now.” Michael pointed a finger in my face, while patting my shoulder with the other.

The uneven patter of my heels echoed down the hall, denying the invitation to the pity party they were about to throw for me. The pouting baby wouldn’t face me? There would be no escaping me at the conference though. In just mere minutes, he’d be at my journalistic mercy, with a watching crowd. And he may just take his thrashing right then & there. The groveling look of remorse on his face would more than likely be worth the embarrassment.

TAGS: @torialeysha @eap1935

[awkward-toshinori]

Hey Yo, can I get all 200 asks for the ask meme thing? Please and thank you!

Absolutely

200: My crush’s name is:

Horia

199: I was born in:

Romania

198: I am really:

friendly and trustworthy

197: My cellphone company is:

Digi

196: My eye color is:

Aqua Blue

195: My shoe size is:

7,5

194: My ring size is:

20?? hell if i know tbh

193: My height is:

5′7

192: I am allergic to:

nothing

191: My 1st car was:

I can’t drive yet!!

190: My 1st job was:

No jobs yikes :c

189: Last book you read:

Sword of Destiny!!

188: My bed is:

messy and full of plushies

187: My pet:

no pets but ahh  my baby plant

186: My best friend:

I’ve got tons of them and I’m pretty sure they know themselves

185: My favorite shampoo is:

ah I don’t really have any preferences

184: Xbox or ps3:

*big gasp* ps3

183: Piggy banks are:

They’re superb but I would feel so bad about wrecking one

182: In my pockets:

Glasses tissues

181: On my calendar:

uh there’s nothing noted yet

180: Marriage is:

Something quiet amazing and lovely, at least from my point

179: Spongebob can:

aww man I don’t watch spongebob

178: My mom:

is shorther than me, that’s for sure

177: The last three songs I bought were?

I didn’t buy any songs but I did buy albums and the last three I bought I suppose were Aenima by tool, Portrait of An American Familly by Marilyn Manson and Slipknot by Slipknot, I think

176: Last YouTube video watched:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4q9UafsiQ6k

175: How many cousins do you have?

2 or 3 I think

174: Do you have any siblings?

Yes, one

173: Are your parents divorced?

nope

172: Are you taller than your mom?

yes B)

171: Do you play an instrument?

Not yet but I’m planning on getting a bass so

170: What did you do yesterday?

I went to a cool concert

169: Love at first sight:

not rlly

168: Luck:

nope

167: Fate:

also no

166: Yourself:

no *oops doopsie I’m sorry*

165: Aliens:

yes

164: Heaven:

nah

163: Hell:

no

162: God:

nopety

161: Horoscopes:

not really

160: Soul mates:

hmm  a bit

159: Ghosts:

no

158: Gay Marriage:

157: War:

not really

156: Orbs:

not really  :/

155: Magic:

no but I find it interesting154: Hugs or Kisses:

hugs

153: Drunk or High:

I personally wouldn’t go for any of those but drunk ig

152: Phone or Online:

online

151: Red heads or Black haired:

black haired

150: Blondes or Brunettes:

ah, blondes

149: Hot or cold:

cold

148: Summer or winter:

winter

147: Autumn or Spring:

spring

146: Chocolate or vanilla:

vanilla

145: Night or Day:

night

144: Oranges or Apples:

oranges

143: Curly or Straight hair:

straight

142: McDonalds or Burger King:

McDonalds

141: White Chocolate or Milk Chocolate:

White Chocolate

140: Mac or PC:

PC

139: Flip flops or high heals:

flip flops

138: Ugly and rich OR sweet and poor:

sweet and poor tbh

137: Coke or Pepsi:

coke

136: Hillary or Obama:

Obama??!!

135: Burried or cremated:

cremated

134: Singing or Dancing:

singing

133: Coach or Chanel:

coach

132: Kat McPhee or Taylor Hicks:

I uh, none

131: Small town or Big city:

big city

130: Wal-Mart or Target:

I had never went to one though Wal-Mart

129: Ben Stiller or Adam Sandler:

Adam Sandler

128: Manicure or Pedicure:

Manicure

127: East Coast or West Coast:

East Coast

126: Your Birthday or Christmas:

Christmas

125: Chocolate or Flowers:

flowers

124: Disney or Six Flags:

disney

123: Yankees or Red Sox:

Yankees

122: War:

I uh personally don’t agree with them and uh dunno

121: George Bush:

Don’t have one yet

120: Gay Marriage:

I find it lovely but too sad it’s not legal here so

119: The presidential election:

Quiet stinky as in no good choices

118: Abortion:

See this topic rips itself in two, if it’s intentionally done I personally think it’s the worst thing to do but that someone can do whatever they want, it’s their body after all, though if it happens and it’s not intended just, big sad react

117: MySpace:

I don’t have an opinion on it

116: Reality TV:

I don’t really watch it nor like it

115: Parents:

I would’ve appreciated if my parents showed me more support and love but not that I have anything against our type of relationship at the moment so

114: Back stabbers:

I totally not like them so I choose to cut contact with them 

113: Ebay:

It’s fine till now

112: Facebook:

I’m not a big fan of Facebook

111: Work:

If it’s something I love, it makes me feel good but if it’s not it kind of brings a feeling of uneasy and frustration to me

110: My Neighbors:

They’re chill, the baby and the puppy are my favorites 

109: Gas Prices:

kinda shitty here

108: Designer Clothes:

They can design what they want however they want, this is not really a topic of interest for me

107: College:

I can’t wait to get to it ngl

106: Sports:

Not one of my interests but they do look fun

105: My family:

I tolerate them easily but yeah I love them

104: The future:

Other than that I’m scared as hell regarding the future? nah

103: Hugged someone:

Eh!! Today!!

102: Last time you ate:

7 hours ago??

101: Saw someone I haven’t seen in awhile:

Oh last week I think

100: Cried in front of someone:

U H, yesterday

99: Went to a movie theater:

last thursday

98: Took a vacation:

last Christmas

97: Swam in a pool:

last summer

96: Changed a diaper:

never tbh

95: Got my nails done:

OH, it’s been ages since I’ve done that

94: Went to a wedding:

4 years ago

93: Broke a bone:

never nyehehe B)

92: Got a peircing:

I don’t have any but planning on getting some

91: Broke the law:

never

90: Texted: 

minutes ago

89: Who makes you laugh the most:

tbh, my friends

88: Something I will really miss when I leave home is:

my stuff but mostly my baby plant

87: The last movie I saw:

Captain MArvel

86: The thing that I’m looking forward to the most:

finishing high school

85: The thing im not looking forward to:

Missing upcoming opportunities

84: People call me:

Satana(I have the perferct explanation)

83: The most difficult thing to do is:

talk in servers or groups tbh

82: I have gotten a speeding ticket:

Oh I’d feel terrible and embarassed tbh

81: My zodiac sign is:

LEo

80: The first person i talked to today was:

my boyfriend

79: First time you had a crush:

in 5th grade

78: The one person who i can’t hide things from:

My boyfriend.. because he knows when something’s up with me or if something’s not good

77: Last time someone said something you were thinking:

hmmm weeks ago I think

76: Right now I am talking to:

@angelwings-234

75: What are you going to do when you grow up:

be a programmer 

74: I have/will get a job:

I hope to get one as a programmer in the future (though hell If I know what exactly yet)

73: Tomorrow:

I’ll probably hope for school to end faster just so I can nap

72: Today:

I haven’t done much tbh

71: Next Summer:

Will be so busy and I’m so not up to it

70: Next Weekend:

I’ll be going to a cool ass contest

69: I have these pets:

I have a baby plant!!!

68: The worst sound in the world:

static noise

67: The person that makes me cry the most is:

myself?? sounds a bit edgy

66: People that make you happy:

all the close friends in my life and some artists along with stuff I enjoy a lot

65: Last time I cried:

yesterday

64: My friends are:

There are too many to list them but luv them all

63: My computer is:

full of games that I’m probably not going to finish in the following 2 months

62: My School:

kinda sucks when it comes to students

61: My Car:

does not exist yet

60: I lose all respect for people who:

who are rude and big mean bags of shit?? I could detail this but dunno

59: The movie I cried at was:

Interstellar 

58: Your hair color is:

blonde

57: TV shows you watch:

SOA, Gotham when my bf watches it and I don’t really like TV shows though I have some on my waiting list

56: Favorite web site:

https://www.pbinfo.ro/

55: Your dream vacation:

just, somewhere around a forest, it’d be quiet lovely ngl

54: The worst pain I was ever in was:

tooth pain

53: How do you like your steak cooked:

a bit raw tbh

52: My room is:

ass messy as me

51: My favorite celebrity is:

uhhh Corey Taylor

50: Where would you like to be:

Right now?? At my bf, if it wouldn’t bother him..

49: Do you want children:

ABsolutely

48: Ever been in love:

still am ig

47: Who’s your best friend:

I have too many but love them all so much

46: More guy friends or girl friends:

I have more guy friends apparently 

45: One thing that makes you feel great is:

achieving something

44: One person that you wish you could see right now:

All of my best-friends tbh

43: Do you have a 5 year plan:

I do

42: Have you made a list of things to do before you die:

Not yet and I doubt I’d do it

41: Have you pre-named your children:

me and my bf came up with some names but who knows

40: Last person I got mad at:

My bf i think

39: I would like to move to:

another city in my country, a much bigger one

38: I wish I was a professional:

artist

37: Candy:

Haribo

36: Vehicle:

Renault or Dacia

35: President:

don’t really have one

34: State visited:

I haven’t been to any at all

33: Cellphone provider:

Digi

32: Athlete:

I don;t have one yikes

31: Actor:

Hmm Benicio Del Toro

30: Actress:

I like some but I don’t have a favorite one

29: Singer:

Peter Steele, his voice is simply, lovely

28: Band:

Ohhh anon Tool and Cargo atm

27: Clothing store:

I don’t have a fav one

26: Grocery store:

any??

25: TV show:

Sons Of Anarchy

24: Movie:

The Alien trilogy

23: Website:

Twitter I think

22: Animal:

Cat

21: Theme park:

I don’t really have one

20: Holiday:

Christmas

19: Sport to watch:

ski jumping

18: Sport to play:

Volleyball I think

17: Magazine:

Don’t have one

16: Book:

The Shinning

15: Day of the week:

Saturdays

14: Beach:

Don’t really like beaches

13: Concert attended:

Truda’s concert for moment but I suppose Disturbing’s going ro replace it or maybe Cannibal Corpse, who knows

12: Thing to cook:

Pudding

11: Food:

Noodles or cremeschnitte

10: Restaurant:

One called Anna

9: Radio station:

don’t have one

8: Yankee candle scent:

dreamy summer nights

7: Perfume:

men’s one are my favorite, gotta admit it

6: Flower:

ORchids

5: Color:

purple and black

4: Talk show host:

don’t have one

3: Comedian:

A romanian one, can’t remember his name

2: Dog breed:

German Shepherd, American Eskimo, Border Collie, Golden Retriever, Siberian HUsky there are too many I can’t choose only one

1: Did you answer all these truthfully?

yes I did it oh god

[theparaminds]

What’s past is prologue. What’s future is mystery. That is the dilemma Harry Teardrop existed with, that he wrestled, throughout his life. From a childhood of changing sceneries and faces never permanent, Harry had no knowledge of what tomorrow brought forth, no knowledge of where he was to slot into. All he had to hold onto was the remnants of yesterday; a fleeting confidence he could take a breath within. Yet, like a divine miracle, his outlook shifted and he learned to accept the now. He learned to be honest only to the hours he could control, not to that prologue or those mysteries.

The past, more so than anything, felt like chains to his emotional state. He felt as though he couldn’t leave the worries and heartbreaks of yesteryear to wither away, they stuck like gum in his hair. And if you know anything about gum in hair, you know that you can either pull it out slowly and painfully or just cut the hair off. With his latest work, Harry has opted to endure the pain all at once, to face every fear and to allow himself to feel what he has suppressed so intensely. He is revisiting a broken road with the hope that it will a pave a better tomorrow. And through such vulnerability, a sonic landscape of candor, confidence, and candidness has emerged.

Yes, Harry Teardrop has no clue to what reality he will wake tomorrow. But that doesn’t matter anymore. What matters is that he pours his soul into art itself, into the magic of creation. It’s the noble belief that another individual’s youthful confusion will be cured through his expression. Does he still have anxiety and his own questions? Absolutely. Though, he could care less. He is, for once, creating with total freedom, a mind free from doubt as to what his purpose is, as to what he is meant to be.

Harry Teardrop is, finally, living unshackled from prologue and unafraid of mystery, as so many hope to be. In doing so, he is artistically innovating with legitimacy that would speak to even the most overwhelmed, dazed minds. He is free and inviting all to join him in his humanistic independence.

This interview was recorded live in New York.

Our first question as always, how’s your day going and how have you been?

It’s been going good, I’ve just been hanging out with you the whole day. The weather was so nice though, when it’s warm in NY after the winter it makes you appreciate everything so much more.

With your time in New York, how would you say your creative energy has developed and evolved?  

I think New York has helped me to blossom into a more serious artist. I still took it very seriously back in California, but no one else did. It was mostly for fun, but being around the high level of talent here has inspired me to elevate my art.

When you say people didn't take you seriously back then, was that due to your youth or a misunderstanding of your artistic desires?

I don't know. I always talk down on my high school experience, which is what the whole EP is about, just because there were a lot of kids who didn't get it, which is understandable. I think for one I wasn't as good as I am now, and I definitely still have room to grow, they were judging off that past talent. I think the main thing is where I went to high school. in Irvine, people are in a small town mentality, people there are brought to go to college, to get a good job, settle with kids. It’s very cyclical. They see someone trying to break out and very anti their way of life and they get defensive. I used to get roasted for it all, to be honest, one girl used to say I'd be homeless for pursuing art.

Did you feel with being brushed off and roasted it solidified what you were doing and that you were on the right path for yourself?

I think for the most part, yes, but it still stung a little as I wished that people understood where I was coming from. There were some people who were supportive and that's awesome, but I really just want to start doing things creativity that makes everyone feel they can do the same, that they don’t have to be stuck in that mentality.

With this EP, you talk about those high school age problems, but, growing up as a whole, what sort of bumps in the road did you face and how did they shape who you are currently?

Growing up I moved around a lot because of my parent’s work and that was the biggest struggle I had, for the most part, I had a great childhood, my parents have always supported me, which is an awesome blessing. I think a lot of my music is about moving and it's actually how I got into writing songs. When I moved from Shanghai to California, I would write lyrics and music as a coping method for the emotions I was dealing with. And that’s been the main theme in my music since then, leaving home and missing things. That's maybe why people say my music is nostalgic because it is talking about the past in a sweet way.

How would you personally compare the move from Shanghai to California to the one from California to New York?

I think moving from Shanghai to California was a huge reverse culture shock. Even though I'm from America, moving back, especially to a new state, was so bizarre. Moving from California to New York was totally different. It was great as I was ready for a new start and because of that, I was eager. New York felt like a new opportunity that allowed everything to become possible.

Within those transitional times and your learning of yourself, what were some of your best childhood memories?

Most memories I have are positive, to be honest. But I always loved my time in Portland, which was before Shanghai. At the time I was really into soccer and also got into drums. Playing Pokemon and stuff like that was the extent of my existence back then. I also loved reading Dr. Seuss books and now realize the huge influence they've had upon on my life. They taught me about lyricism, the conviction in simplicity and the importance of rhythm in language as a whole.

What was your favourite Pokemon game growing up?

For sure Emerald.

And who was your starter when you played?

My first one was Torchic.

When you were having that first introduction to music and getting more into it, how did you realize you wanted to take it a step further than just a hobby and where did that push come from?

Well honestly, I was always into music and when I first started I wasn't taking it seriously. I really just wanted to be a soccer player at the time. That was the dream. I was pretty good but not professional level. I was a huge fan of Manchester United and drum lessons were just something to get all of that endless energy out. My brother, who was playing guitar, took it more seriously and joined bands in middle school. But when I moved to China, the soccer wasn't as good, so I weaned off it and got more into music. When I was in middle school, I started to embody the musician in me. I think the reason for that was my brother teaching me the guitar, which led me into bass, piano and singing. When soccer died, Music came up.

At the time that you were being shown that music from your brother and even going through that self-discovery, who were the largest inspirations upon you and what did yourself pulling from their work?

The biggest when I was a kid was the Strokes, Green Day, Sum 41 and Fall Out Boy. I loved pop punk. In hindsight, the reason was that they were playing with so much emotion yet still it was very intentional and forceful. It’s the kind of music you can’t look away from. You can either like it or dislike it, but you can't ignore it. I also found myself being drawn to K-Pop and it shaping my recent development.

With your current work, it hasn't been as punky and instead is more lighthearted, what's been the mentality now compared to those original inspirations and what's the current vision you hold?

I'm really trying to just channel all of my inspirations from all of my entire life into what I'm doing. There are punk elements, more inspired by My Bloody Valentine and Grimes, maybe not musically and more in the emotion, but it’s still there. But in terms of lighthearted stuff, it's because I got into slow jazz in high school. Billie Holiday and Ella Fitzgerald, then later a blend through the 1975. The main three elements in my music are Jazz and Duwop, the punk and pop-punk styles as well as the 80s influence.

So in your mind, is Harry Teardrop a character which personifies all of those inspirations or is there more to him and his existence in your art?

So far, Harry Teardrop is not a character and is just a name for me. I want to separate him more from myself because there's only so many ways you can talk about your own life before you want to try other stories. And for that I want Harry Teardrop to be a narrator. I want to channel my view of the world through him. I want him to be a journalist. That separation is so I can talk about things that aren't rooted in reality, more dreamy or exaggerated situations.

Was there any significance to the Teardrop name you attached to and why is it that you chose it?

The name comes from a song by Suicide called Frankie Teardrop. My brother Drake showed me it in high school and he thought it was so sick, and I did too. It's a fucked up song. It's 10 minutes about a guy who murders his wife and kids. Drake, then he changed his Instagram handle to Drakeyteardrop and I changed mine to Harryteardrop. At the time, I was still going under DAIZY for music but when I went to college I looked up DAIZY and realized It was copyrighted so I just went for Harry Teardrop, but I do love it.

Specifically with this new EP, what do you believe Harry is journalizing? What is the story he’s trying to tell?

At this time, I'm just trying to document and shed light onto is the high school experience I had. I felt stunted creatively and as a person. I was stuck in the suburbs very bored and didn't care for school as nobody understood what I wanted to do with my life. It's about the frustration and hopes you have to hold onto because you can either give in or you can still hold onto the dream you have and keep being you. I think that I want to tell this story so people who are in that age range and are going through the same thing can know that they are not alone and that someone is looking out for them

When expressing such stories and emotions, do you feel you’re just putting yourself out there and hoping people resonate with it, or, are you aiming to reach people first and foremost?

It’s honestly a way to cope with my high school experience. I want people to resonate but the main goal is to release that energy so I don't have to look back on high school with spite. After this, I’m moving on from it and looking at new areas, but it's necessary for me as a catharsis.

Where does the title ‘1000 Backyard pools’ come from and what does it mean as a concept to you both as an artist and individual?

I was actually talking about this with my roommates the other day and I forgot that the story really started in an English class as I was writing songs in my notebook and planning EP ideas. But more so, 1000 Backyard Pools was an idea I was just writing in my notebook when bored. It comes from how when you're flying over Orange County, you see a bunch of little pools down below, and that's just a representation of my life and how it felt in the suburbs. Just being 1 of a million and not feeling unique. I was 16 in class and that has always stuck with me ever since.

Do you feel now that you’re more of an individual and has being in a new environment helped with eliminating that previous feeling?

Well, what I’ve started to realize is that I am one in a million in the sense there are 7 billion people and I’m very aware of that. But I think I am an individual. In that sense, it's self-respect for realizing I’m unique but humbling that everyone feels the same way.

Would you say that feeling of individuality is the core of the project’s message or is there more you hope to get out with it?

I guess the core is anxiety and desperation, but also holding onto hope and other things. I talk about relationships and moving away and missing the past through transition.

Within your creation, do you feel human emotion and relationship to be a large part of what you’re trying to build upon and pull from?

Human connection is super important. It's why people keep going and It's what makes life worth living. It's the connection you have. It's the most important thing to me and my art.

Going forward, what do you think are the next steps for Harry Teardrop, or, are you undecided and is there anxiety of not knowing where to go with the project?

Both, I do have a real plan for what I want to do. This first EP is one of three. I think with the 3 EPs I’m trying to progress as an artist and say what I need to say before going into a more fleshed out project. Really my dream in life is to create an album, so that’s what I’m working towards, this is just preparation. I also just want to produce for other people and enjoy being young, which I forget to do sometimes.

Would you say then that you work too hard and forget to live?

Only recently as things have materialized pretty fast. I have a lot more confidence in myself and that has made me want to work on my projects. But I’m 19, almost 20, so I’m feeling the pressure to make it happen.

Do you believe because of the musical climate you’re in that youth is something to take advantage of or are you excited to grow up and have more maturity in your music?

In high school, I was set on being famous at 15, but it didn't happen. I kept growing and I’m so ‘glad I wasn't famous back then. I used to feel a lot of pressure to make it young but now that I’m in the industry and more conscious of my work, I definitely am ok with taking my time and allowing myself to learn about simplifying and polishing my music. Very much like Hemingway and Picasso. High consciousness in a childlike way.

Have you ever felt though that when simplifying, you’re also restricting your vision and not getting everything you want to say out?

It’s all about balance. That's the main theme keeps me going. My mom was always the one putting that in my head. To be as balanced as possible.

With the EPs, what are your visions beyond just the musical sense? Are you trying to build a universe like Because the Internet or is there other parts to it coming together?

I’m working on this music video with Drake I’m really stoked about, we just fleshed out the concept. It plays around with dream logic. Dreams are the most interesting thing to me and as a kid, I was so excited to go to sleep and dream. I remember my first nightmare so vividly as well, I still don't understand it. I was in a car with my dad and brother in New York and then this giant yeti monster came and scooped up snow and before we got hit I woke up.

Is it a goal of yours to incorporate dreams within your art and messages?

Into everything. That's always what I've been most fascinated by. Both in the literal sense and also dreams in the aspirational sense.

I've heard you and Drake use the term ‘Dreamo’ a lot to describe the work you’re doing, how do you personally define that?

Dreamo is the genre that I’m trying to create for myself and whoever else wants to fit into it. It’s a combination of dreamy stuff and emo. But not emo necessarily how we perceive it, more just the emotional, heart on the sleeve stuff they do. In my case, it’s really just a progression of pop-punk.

Another aspect you’ve mentioned in the past is your care for live shows. How do you plan to bring this energy into the live setting and translate much of this vision?

I want to do an elaborate show with costumes and props but, that’s a long term goal once I get funding. In the meantime, I just want to let it marinate and work on new stuff. Then it can all come together with that larger project that I can put everything in every aspect into.

Is the ultimate goal then to create that one classic album that stands the test of time and cements everything you’ve put together?

That's every artist’s dream honestly. My dream is to keep making albums. It doesn't even need to be Harry Teardrop, any sort of music and albums. I try to think very short term. I was talking to Caleb about this the other day, and he’s someone who thinks in the very long term, but it just stresses me out. I just try to live in the moment as much as possible. I try to live by the idea that the past and the future are imaginary in that you can't retrieve it or know what it holds, so exist within the present. And it makes me feel better.

Just to ask because I only just remembered it by noticing, what does your Pumpkin tattoo on your arm represent to you?

Oh yeah. My birthday is on Halloween and I got this on my 18th birthday. At the time I just thought it looked cool, but now it's a reminder that my birthday is coming up and that I’m getting older and that my birthday is just another day. And in that sense, that I shouldn’t be too hard on myself for just growing up/

As a whole then, what do you want the Harry teardrop legacy to be and what is the mark you wish to leave upon the music and artistic world?

For the next five years or so, I just want to make pop music because there's such a power in it. It brings people together and makes them happy and teaches them something if you have a message in it. That's the goal really. Going to NYU has taught me there's such an art to the craft of pop songwriting, there so many decisions to make it sound as it does. That’s what I’m interested in that’s what I want to do. I want to also tour and see the world. I want to make friends and really get to know these people. Also, I want to represent Asian Americans as there is a lack of representation in music as a whole. There is such a stigma inside the Asian American community itself to steer away from the arts because it doesn't make money. And because of that, there are a bunch of kids who feel no representation. It's a paradox that these kids want to feel represented and they’re angry about it, but then they're not taking the initiate due to being discouraged. It’s just the cycle I want to break.

So then, the goal is more so to be an inspiration and a sign of positivity?

Exactly, the overall goal for Harry Teardrop is to help people believe in their dreams. It sounds corny but it's all that matters.

Do you have anyone to shout out or anything to promote? The floor is yours.

Shoutout my family, Kyrsten, all my Clive friends -- Caleb, Ally, Jimmy. Shoutout Been Stellar, Claire, Deaton, Maxwell, Luke, Willie, and Aidan. Also Wes and Rohit, and really, all my friends. And to the people who listen to my music and actually care about what I have to say, you all make me so happy. Love you!

Listen on Spotify and Apple Music

Follow on Twitter and Instagram

Colour Photos by Drake Li 

B&W Photos by Ella Sinskey

Words and Interview by Guy Mizrahi

[xxdecipheringgravityfallsxx]

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Summary: 

He's come back from the past. This appearance may not be his last. A man not easily impressed and as tough as cinder blocks. Into the darkness of the morning hours he mocks. As one son is cast underneath his gloom and cowering. And one in the hands of fate, lying there possibly dying.

-

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Preview: 

Soos ended up finding Stan gazing off dismally into the distance outside of the Hospital, leaned up against a pillar, looking disheveled and worn. He opened his mouth to say something, but closed it promptly when he couldn’t find any words to give to the man he looked up to as his father figure. Soos frowned and stared down at the ground, narrowing his eyes as did so, while rubbing at the back of his neck with his left hand, cast away into bewilderment.

Feeling like a useless lump of a son.

What good was he as a son, when he couldn’t make the man he considered his dad feel better? Soos never felt more frustrated in his entire life than he felt right now. After a few seconds of deliberation, he finally spoke up. “I’m sorry for following you Mr. Pines, I know that maybe you might wanna be alone right now, but I dunno if that’s the best thing for you cause like, you probably been alone many times in your life. And that’s just not fair, and you probably haven’t had anyone to be there for you… so I thought maybe I could be here for you...I… mean if… if you want me to be here.” He began to fidget with his hands nervously, hoping he hadn’t crossed a line or anything.

Soos honestly just wanted to show Stan that he didn’t have to deal with his suffering all alone, and that if he let others in, they'd be more than willing to be his support beams when he was just too worn and exhausted from the weight of the many sorrows that were haunting him relentlessly.

Stan's hand twitched by his pocket as Soos spoke. He resolved not to use the cigarettes, and he didn't want to, but something about Soos, or maybe the situation made him want to do something familiar.He couldn't tell which. As he heard the part about being alone before, his hand nearly shot down into his pocket in a fraction of a second, his mental state in fractures. 

It made him feel many things, that almost mirrored many past experiences that had caused him similar pains such as this. Namely he’d felt this way when he’d knocked Ford into the portal. His entire state was in shambles back then as it is now, a multitude of emotions he couldn’t keep control over nearly torn him in two.

His eyes, which slowly drained his tears from his body, seemed to grow heavy with water again, a tear or two managed past his resolve, falling onto his clenched hands. "Soos, umm, h-hey." His blubbering made himself feel much, much worse than before. As he looked up, preparing to turn to the man he'd call son, he saw a disturbing sight from a nearby potted plant.

"ABSOLUTELY FUCKIN' PATHETIC..."

The plant's pot faded a light blue, glowing until the point that the glow itself manifested into something, or someone. After a bit more details appeared, Stan's legs grew shaky, backing up a few paces as he pressed himself back against pillar. "G-Guh-!" His lungs clutched up, clawing at his body in unrelenting horror. It was like it was killing him from the inside, just looking at it... at him. No other ghost could give him such a freeze-up, or any ounce of fear that this one did.

His father, his awful, gosh darn father, floated there, his arms already in a cross, his face in a scowl.

Already disappointed again, and Stan didn't dare move since his appearance. The mouth moved out of a scowl, forming growling words, almost just as menacing as before. Stan swore that it was the same exact tone he heard 41 years ago now.

Soos could see the apparition just as well as Stan could. Stanley's voice was almost stripped to the bark, his head already tilted down, looking at the gravel beneath his feet, barely recognizing Soos in the background. Filbrick's voice boomed, only reaching the pair of them.

"Pathetic! Just pathetic."

Soos’s eyes became as wide as the silver moon illuminating the sky above them. He stared awestruck at the ghostly figure before him and Stan, his jaw had fallen open in his utter shock. Though after the initial surprise faded away, Soos took a distressing mental note that Stan was cowering like a child being subjected to a Night terror. 

Then he heard words that caused his heart a stabbing pain, like his heart was butter and the pain being inflicted upon it was the sharp edge of the butter knife being plunged into it. He wasn’t all too certain who this ghost was or what he wanted, but he was certain of one thing, Stan was terror stricken and the intimidating spiritual apparition was berating him.

”You’re just as pathetic as ya were the night I threw your sorry ass on the curb! Look at yourself son! It’s been forty-one years and ya still ain’t got anything to show for yourself! You’re still that no good lyin’ little piece of shit ya always was!”

The toxic and loathing aura around Filbrick Elmer Pines flared as an unnatural shadow was cast over Stan.

Every muscle in Soos’s body tensed up as he realized that this ghost before him must be none other than Stan’s father. The not easily impressed and as tough as cinder blocks man, as Stan had put it when he told the kids and Soos his life story last Summer after Ford emerged from the Portal. Something within Soos ignited and rapidly rose all throughout his being. He wasn’t quite certain what possessed him to speak up, yet his mouth opened and the words filled the night air---

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THERE YOU GO BUDS! READ THE REST ON A03! MAYBE LEAVE A KUDOS OR BOOKMARK THIS IF YOU ENJOY IT! ALSO COMMENTS ON THE COMMENT SECTION IN THE CHAPTERS ARE ALWAYS APPRECIATED BY IVY AND MYSELF! PLEASE ENJOY~