#this took 4 hrs to complete

[dailyerisolkat]

they're playing mariokart wii. post erisolsprite specifically because imagine: sollux would be good at mariokart and if they were sprited, logically, eridan would ALSO be good at it afterwards. karkat is mad that he's worse than eridan because eridan has literally never played it before. two smug motherfuckers. karkat is in 12th and eridan and sollux are fighting for 1st place

they convinced karkat the wii remote by itself / the wheel is the best way to play (it isnt) (if you've played mariokart wii before you Know how much it sucks)

[ilikedetectives]

.

[the-prophecy]

Done with the journal now comes the problem

[noireservoir]

Going through my drafts and i realize i never posted that update about this date i had with this guy last august

[catcrazies-midnight]

HAPPY 3 YEARZ TFS !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

(...not pinging lutiaskokopelli bcs she sayz tfs SUUPER burnt her aout from the pressure/shes not gonna be workeing on it NEmoar.a rlly good run tho NEway ^.^)

[whatifitis]

♡ Wickedly Amazing - LN 4 ♡

Summary: Lando is stressed and working all day so during his 15 min break, you decide to stress him out even more 😍

Author's Note: this is complete ass, i wrote it in 1 hr, feedback is always appreciated <3

WC: 970

CW: fluff, my love for wicked the musical, lando matching girlies freak (i think)

Lando had been spending the whole day in meetings via zoom and to say you were bored was an understatement. You had already cleaned the whole apartment, sent some work emails, and read half your book. You missed Lando, even though he was less than 5 feet away. 

Lando had meeting after meeting and they lasted hours. You really only got to see him when you brought him water and food, just sliding it next to him to stay out of frame of the camera and not distract him. 

But Lando was about to have a 15 min break before his next, and hopefully final, meeting of the day. You took it upon yourself to annoy him in your usual fashion, and try and help him destress him a bit by possibly stressing him out. 

While Lan was wrapping up the meeting, you quietly set up a chair behind him and out of frame. You wrapped a throw blanket around your neck and had a broom in hand. As soon as you heard Lando say goodbye and leave the session, you played Defying Gravity on the speakers. 

As soon as the music started, Lando nearly threw his phone into the hair from the abruptly broken silence. He turns in his seat to see you walk around the corner, playing both Elphaba and Glinda’s bits in the song. 

The smile and amusement on his face was what you did these things for. You loved his smile, even more when he truly was happy and when you were the one making it happen. His smile was so wide and the corners of his eyes crinkled with the bridge of his nose. 

As you kept singing, he was cheering you on with some whistles, fist pumps and “that’s my girl”’s. You walked around the room putting on the performance of a lifetime. 

The bridge was coming up and this was your moment to truly blow away the audience (Lando). 

You made your way to the chair you had set up earlier and stood on top of it, shouting about how soon you’d watch them in renown. You threw your cape back to emphasize the imaginary wind blowing up, holding your broom close to you as you prepare to belt your heart out. 

Lando watched in awe through your whole performance. If anyone asked him about your singing, he’d say it’s the most beautiful sound in the world. Whether you were singing Defying Gravity or 22,  he loved it. He thought you were one of, if not the best, singers in the world. That your talent blew the competition out of the water. It wasn’t often that he got to listen to your singing, so the few times he was able to, he savored every second of it. 

But of course, he couldn’t let you have all the fun. As you belted and approached the final riff, Lando took it upon himself to become a part of the ensemble. He stood up from his seat and raced to kneel before you, slowly lying on the ground and singing along to the backing vocals of the song. 

He watched as you successfully attempted Cynthia Erivo’s rift, not being able to hide the smile that is plastered on his face. 

As the song ends, silence fills the room, only the sounds of the two of you trying to catch your breaths can be heard. You drop the broom and step down from your chair, looking at Lando who is now laying flat on the floor as if he was the one carrying that performance on his back.

He clearly wasn’t moving anytime soon so you decided to join him on the floor, falling onto him and resting your head on his chest, listening to his heart as it slows. You feel Lan wrap his arms around you, pulling you closer to him and feeling him kiss your head. 

Lan unties the blanket from around your neck and wraps the blanket around the two of you, wanting to relax for the next few minutes with his favorite person. “That was amazing,” he says. 

“Would you say it was… wickedly amazing?” you ask, cocking an eyebrow at him, trying to supress your smile a bit. 

“Oh shut up.” he laughs, feeling you let out a few giggles as well. “Thank you.”

“For what?” you ask, looking up at him, your brows furrowed in confusion. 

“For a lot of things. But mainly for being here, and making me laugh and making me happy.”

“Oh, you don’t have to thank me. I’m just here, trying my best. I just want you to be happy.”

“I am happy, thanks to you. I genuinely wouldn’t be here without you. You’ve been here through all my bullshit. I was rude as fuck at times, but you still stayed. I don’t know how I could ever repay you and how much it means to me.” Lan confesses, softly rubbing his thumb along your cheek. 

You move to hover over him, resting on your elbow, “You really don’t have to thank me, Lan. I do all of this because I love you. I do everything for you because I care about you. You’re my favorite person in the world and there’s no one I would rather sing with. I want to spend the rest of my silly little life with you, right by your side.”

“I love you.” “I love you.”

You move to capture Lando’s lips in yours. It’s slow and gentle, feeling him relax as you hold the side of his face with your hand. His lips feel warm against yours and he never wants to forget this feeling, of feeling so safe and happy and like he’s truly loved. He never wants to let you go. You’re his girl. His person.

[comradeocean]

"I have found myself talking out loud to you, hoping you can hear me" is a bonkers way for a celebrity to begin a public memorial statement less than 24 hrs after the death happened by someone who has possibly not personally spoken to the dead person in question for almost ten years. I cannot stop thinking about it.

In 2013, Channel 4 did a documentary called Crazy About One Direction that featured a number of high octane waaaay out there fans. I think the band was asked about it during an interview; Louis and the others basically disavowed it, saying it was an unfair representation of girls who like One Direction and the fanbase in general. He wasn't being totally selfless in sticking up for the fans, because some of those girls were profoundly sad and lonely, maybe unwell. And if your mission is to be marketed as a fun-loving carefree boyband, the last thing you'd want to be associated with are young, maladjusted, friendless girls.

Anyway, at one point, one of the girls interviewed says:

Twitter is like a prayer place. When you go to a prayer place, you feel like you’re connected to God. So when you’re on twitter, you feel like you’re connected to 1D. You just have hope. [audio description alt-text: an image of Louis as Jesus Christ]

Zayn is also the only one of the boys to have crossposted his message to twitter.

The thing about One Direction being an accident, sure, a manufactured accident, but an accident nonetheless, is that they were guileless going in, and it showed. I've been mainlining old videos this week, trying to compare those early xfactor days with their contemporaries who were trying to break out around the same time. With everyone else, it was always a band full of Liams: intensely driven little freaks. Sorry, freak is maybe too mean a word to describe that particular mix of hunger and desperation to be accomplished, to be famous, and at the bottom of it all: to be liked. There's been a conscious shaping of the persona in service of those goals: they've learned to dance, to perform, to give pitches, soundbites, hit camera marks on cue. Most of them were also older, in their early to mid twenties. It's not inconceivable to imagine such a trajectory for the most diehard theatre kid you knew from school who decided after uni or whatever ~ to follow their dreams ~. That was the more typical boyband background. (not Liam though. lad was fourteen. he was closer to another subspecies of the genus: the child star)

And 1D in contrast were unpracticed, unstudied, as Zayn put it in that slightly off-kilter way of his (which I always imagine to be indicative of a disjunction between the vocabulary one encounters in school and what everyone around them is used to speaking), "novice children."

Like, truly, they did not give a fuck cos it hadn't yet occurred to them they were supposed to. Liam aside, industry norms were a complete mystery to them, and for many years, they managed to inhabit that sweet spot of flippancy without contempt, whether it was about the project, themselves, or their audience. Liam tells the story about being the go-between for xfactor stylists and the boys and getting into so much trouble on their behalf for wearing human-sized babygrows during a video diary. "Because Westlife would never wear those." [The punchline he then delivers is that Westlife members were pictured wearing onesies soon after. (quite possibly due to how viral anything 1D-related got)]

The boys were so immature. The whole boyband thing had fallen into their laps. They were just happy to be there! This thing that they didn't even know they wanted, they somehow got, and it took the shape of four other boys in exactly the same situation. It comes across very strongly how taken they were with themselves and each other. Find yourself a guy who looks at you the way blah Larry Stylinson blah blah Ziam blah blah blah. Never mind that cos they were all actually so hyped with each other. Any time any of them says anything remotely clever, or funny, or notable, the rest of them lose their shit like they're in on the same hilarious joke. Even if there was no actual joke. Their entire existence at that point was the joke bc how on earth had they landed from where they'd been — small deadend towns hollowing out from deindustrialization — to where they ended up — the xfactor house headed for the very top about to win it all, in the way they did — saved from bootcamp elimination at the last minute, with who they did — four other working class boys they would have never been friends with in another life. It must have been a high like a kind of limerence, like finding long lost family members on the exact same wavelength, like love.

And that was the other key thing about the stratospheric rise of One Direction. We didn't love One Direction only because we loved this or that member. We loved them because they loved each other, because they loved themselves, because they loved us. And they used the internet to show it.

In 2010, mass social media platforms were in their nascence, which is to say, the exploration of how to be a person, with other people, online, at a broad level not limited to specific subcultures, was in its nascence. For many years now, given the levels of extreme over-exposure, the dominant mood has become the mortifying ordeal of being perceived and so on. We've somehow all adopted mini-celebrity mindsets of our own, weary of being exposed to the maw of an unseen public. To be known is to be surveilled.

But the boys individually and at the collective level invited surveillance back then. Because the inverse — to be surveilled is to be known — seemed more relevant for that moment, at the beginning. They made a point of living their newfound lives at least partially online.

They were constantly on twitter, they livestreamed with a dedication that rivaled x-factor video producers, and none more so than Liam. It was already reality tv, this was just the next bleeding edge of "real": the unfiltered, unedited, direct sharing of yourself and what you loved in the last days of the old free-as-in-freedom internet.

When they said, over and over again, that it was all about the fans, it was meant in a very literal sense. Social media and the reality it created produced a feedback loop between the love they had for each other and the band, and the love we had for them, until it was inseparable: their relationships, our relationships, the process itself. Parasociality as it is currently manifested might have found its first mass expression through One Direction.

In separate interviews from This is Us (2013) deleted scenes, Liam and Louis say that Zayn wears his heart on his sleeve. Yet within the best-friends-slash-brothers-for-life schema cultivated as the One Direction vibe, he did not seem necessarily exceptional in his frequent declarations of love and fellow-feeling for various band mates. What he did ultimately end up doing was pulling the trigger on the contractual form their relationships were bound within, such that the I-love-you's inevitably passed from unpracticed to rote to a mandatory matter of their livelihoods. Someone had to be the first to explicitly and consciously decide that this "love" was no longer something they could continue participating in.

From the same set of deleted interview, in a somewhat fitting twist of symmetry, Louis and Zayn go on and on (much longer than Niall or Harry) about how Liam had been the serious and sensible one, but they've managed to corrupt him a little. It makes sense to assume that Zayn is referring to the band in general, but one can also read it to mean the two of them specifically, being the eldest, and their meta-cognition of the terms and conditions imposed by One Direction as a phenomenon.

The love the members of One Direction had for each other and the band and the fans was undeniably "real." The making of that "realness" was conditioned by the x factor throwing together four boys who had very little reference for what the fuck they had gotten themselves into, and Liam. Liam was the intermediary. He was already a creature twisted up and contorting, trying his level best to wedge himself into whatever spaces there could be found in the juggernaut of the entertainment industry. His neuroses and anxieties made the rest of One Direction possible, made One Direction "real" and "not like the other boybands" because that DNA, that what-not-to-do instruction manual could just be crammed into him, and the rest of them could be let loose into the world, unburdened by expectation, free to not give a fuck.

Louis and Zayn's raw, unpolished, typo-ridden letters were the most direct and irrefutable way they knew to swear fidelity to the boy they knew, the band they built, and the lives they lived together. The unfathomable ether of the internet, of the fans, of the massed publics seen and unseen made them, it destroyed their senses of self in ways they could weather until they couldn't, and it's into this ether they send their words, their grief, something real of themselves. Because in the universe of One Direction, this is the orthopraxis by which one proclaims one's faith and one's hopes. This is the prayer place that transcends distance, time, even death. This is how their brother could somehow, some way, still feel their love.

[calocreek]

Hi! I was looking at some of your painterly stuff, and I am in awe of the emotion, softness, and texture of the pieces. I wanted to ask what your general process of making painterly artwork is? Do you freehand without a sketch, how long it takes you to finish a piece like that, how you utilize layering, etc!

You are, of course, not obligated to share about your process or answer questions! If these questions are too invasive on your work, I completely understand. Thank you!

My process for those particular pieces is super loose! I try to use art fights as an excuse to try new color combos and try to get fast and comfy with painting bc I rarely do it it any more. But basically it looks like this!

Loose sketch, I think this was the second or third sketch that I thought looked the best :)

2. I normally start with the complementary color to the character's main color (which was red here) unless I have a specific lighting goal or color palette in mind

3. I block in colors under the sketch layer! In this case I was just picking whatever colors but if I'm not feeling too confident I do color pick from photos or palettes I find on google images.

4. My emotional support overlay layer, of course <3. Not much thought process here, just trying to make it look good + more contrasty!

5. Then I make a layer on top of the sketch and just go ham! Try to separate the light and shadow, detail the teeth and stuff. I start with big blendy brushes and then scale down to smaller brushes towards the end.

All of my art fights take like 45 min-3 hrs (I definitely struggle on people faces so much). I think this one took a bit over an hour, which is where most of them fall! The one below was closer to 3, you can see I used a second sketch layer and did a lot of tweaks.

And finally, especially if you're focused on improving your skills, always collect inspiration pictures from artists who you want to emulate! My art fights draw LOADS of inspiration from @ikrutt + @polararts for example. I hope this gives you some insight to my process! As always, if you want to fuck with my brushes msg me, I can email you them :)

[hijinxinprogress]

Tim is not allowed to handle or be near beverages that are intended for anyone other than himself bc he has nearly murdered every member of yj

And every member of yj refers to this as the time Tim tried to assassinate them

once Cassie said she was thirsty so Tim tossed her his thermos and after a sip she fucking collapsed from like 300 ft in the air and almost got decapitated so then when the jl had encountered an evil alternate Wonder Woman and Batman used the compound on the alternate WW bc he thought it was an Amazonian poison but it just made her stronger 

Bart had a single cup he was smelling colors for a week and this is after he woke up in the medbay bc his heart was beating too fast for a speedster which Bart gives tim shit for bc the reverse flash used the compound against Barry & Wally a week later and then immediately after that it became part of Batman’s speedster contingency

Anita lost control of her magic while undercover bc Tim had taken her thermos containing a potion and left her his thermos which lead to her almost being murdered by their target so Anita had tim change his name to red energy for a week and everyone thought Anita had gotten a sidekick (Anita bet that Tim would fuck up her cover bc he was very verbal about the decision to have Anita go under cover instead of him)

Greta drank out of Tim’s thermos and fucking glitched out of sight, they found her 4 hrs later below the Bermuda Triangle however prior to ending up there she’d cleared out 3 casinos and scared a group of college students into believing a malevolent spirit was haunting them

Cissie had taken Tim’s thermos in response to a sarcastic remark and woke up in a demolished cave with footage of her hunting hal being covered by every news station. Hal refused to be sent on missions with cissie, complained to hr repeatedly, and played up being afraid of cissie in front of the media for months

Kon’s body treated Tim’s concoction like he’s been infected with kryptonite and yj had barely gotten him to the medbay before he went into a coma and his nervous system started shutting down. Bart took a sample from the thermos for the next time Superman tried to lecture them

Tim’s hopped up on his concerning concoction of bang energy, monster, red bull, five hour energy, C4, rockstar, an adrenaline compound that he shouldn’t have access to, and at least 3 zesti’s so he’s half paying attention when Bart asks to have some of his drink and completely forgetting what happened last time

Kon: what is that?!

Bart, shrugging: coffee?? Idk man

Cassie: from where

Bart, confused: I took it from Tim? Why?

Anita, exasperated: Cissie

Cissie, aiming her bow: yeah already on it 

Bart: …😔

Bart: WHY??

Kon: You know why!

[yparkwrites]

SON OF THE MOB SUNGHOON FF

Pairing: Mafia Sunghoon x Female reader (Y/N)

Content warnings: explicit content (smut), mentions of abuse, bruises, blood, etc.

Word count: 18k+

Synopsis: When Sunghoon, the son of Mr. Park meets a fearless girl everything will change around him as he tries to fight for his freedom from his father's nest.

Note: this is my first ever Enhypen ff, it is published on Wattpad as a complete story.

© 2024 Y. PARK WRITES. All Rights Reserved.

NO MINORS ALLOWED 18+ ONLY

Part 5 - 6

CHAPTER 7: Memories

1

After Sunghoon left, his father brought him to Italy where he continued to let his men train him. There Sunghoon met a lot of people like his father, dangerous people.

One time during his training he had an accident, his father hit him way too hard on his head leaving him in coma for 2 years, when he woke up, he didn't remember anything and his father took advantage of it.

His father changed him completely, replacing all his good memories with bad ones. As he turned him into a completely different person, Sunghoon never had the time to remember anything from his past. 

Sunghoon became an aggressive person, like his father. He suppressed all his emotions like this father. He thinks like this father too. He hurts people like how his father would hurt people. 

After 3 years, his father decided to send him back to Seoul, making him choose a course he wants to study there, but nothing interests him, he decided to just sign up for a course that appeared on the university website. 

2

“How was the University son,” Mr. Park asked.

“Boring,” Sunghoon responded coldly while eating his dinner. 

“Tristan will be back here soon to keep you company,” Mr. Park said, before leaving the dining area to go to his office. 

Sunghoon went to the university after having breakfast. 

As soon as he arrived there, students started whispering again, and he got used to it already, until he heard someone whisper, “Did you see the night he kissed Y/n before giving her that necklace?” He turned to look at that person who avoided his gaze. 

He looked at the necklace on his neck, the one he took from Y/n, ever since he took that necklace from Y/n, her teary eyes bothered him so much, his heart hurts everytime he remembers how she winced in pain, everytime he remembers her eyes. His heart is telling him that something is wrong.

“Should I give her back the necklace?” He asked himself.

Sunghoon sighed before removing the necklace and putting it on a piece of paper, wrapping it, and leaving it on Y/n’s desk, not forgetting to leave a note: you can have it back, sorry for hurting you. 

3

When Y/n entered the class, she found Sunghoon already there, sleeping. When she went over to her desk she found the note he had left her. She opened the wrapped paper on her desk and found the necklace, her eyes became teary as soon as she saw the necklace. 

Y/n put it around her neck again, keeping the note on her bag. 

The class started as soon as their professor entered the room. 

After that class ended Y/n headed towards the library to study as she doesn’t have any classes not until after lunch, which means she has 2 hrs to study. 

Y/n sat down at her usual spot at the library, near the window. 

After 30 minutes of sitting there someone placed down an iced coffee in front of her. Looking up she found the most unexpected person. 

Sunghoon flopped down beside her and put down his head on the desk to sleep. Y/n only looked at the iced coffee Sunghoon had bought her, confusion written all over her face. 

“I didn’t poison it,” Sunghoon mumbled.

Y/n took a sip of the iced coffee before putting it down again at the desk. She looked over at Sunghoon who’s now sleeping. She smiled a little while looking at him before she went back to studying. 

Meanwhile, Heeseung had his fist clenched watching the scene in front of him. He left the library throwing away the iced coffee he had bought her. 

4

Y/n’s friend had been roaming around the university trying to look for her until they found her studying at the library. They all entered trying to approach her carefully, but to their surprise she’s not alone, she’s with a sleepy Sunghoon who had been watching her study.

“Seeing you study makes my head hurt,” Sunghoon said, gaining Y/n’s attention.

“Seeing you sleep in class, and get away with it makes me want to hit you,” Y/n said through her gritted teeth. 

Sunghoon just chuckled at her.

“Can you stop annoying me?” Y/n asked him.

“My heart keeps telling me to annoy you so, no,” he responded, making Y/n groan in frustration. 

“Hey,” Jake greeted them.

“What time is it?” Y/n asked them.

“Lunch time,” Jungwon said, avoiding Sunghoon’s glare at them.

Y/n gathered all her stuff so they can all leave. 

“Let’s go to the convenience store,” Jay said.

Y/n followed them while Sunghoon tailed behind her. 

5

When they entered the convenience store, everyone looked down as soon as they saw Sunghoon. 

Sunghoon grabbed all his snacks and paid for it. 

“You’re not staying?” Y/n asked.

“Nope, going home, it’s boring here,” Sunghoon said before leaving.

As soon as they sat down they just looked at Y/n looking for answers.

“Don’t look at me, I don’t know what he’s up to,” Y/n said, munching her food.

“I didn’t know he liked candies.” My mom said, approaching us putting down Jake’s favorite ramen.

“Your mom is the best,” Jake said, hugging Y/n’s mom.

“I know you liked that one, so I kept it for you,” Y/n’s mom said.

When Y/n’s mom left Yura scoffed seeing the necklace back on her neck.

“He gave you back his necklace?” Yura asked.

“Yeah he did,” Y/n responded.

“Damn, Heeseung doesn’t really have a chance,” Jay said laughing. 

“Shut up” Y/n said trying to contain her smile.

6

Sunghoon arrived and found his father talking to Tristan.

“You’re home early,” Mr. Park said, seeing Sunghoon back.

“It’s boring there and I’m having a headache so I’m gonna sleep,” He replied before going back to his room. 

At night.

Sunghoon woke up at 7pm with tears streaming down his face. “Y/n,” he whispered, a piece of his memory he dreamt of, the ball night.

Sunghoon went downstairs to drink a glass of water, the house was empty. 

Sunghoon went back to his room and sat on his bed. He stared at the wall, trying to remember more memories, why did he leave her, why was he crying. Questions rushed in his mind, giving him more headache, holding his head. He kept remembering the scene of them kissing that night, but he couldn’t seem to remember the reason.

CHAPTER 8: The New Villain Born

1

Sunghoon sat on the edge of his bed, his mind a swirling vortex of confusion and fragmented memories. Images of Y/n’s tear-stained face flashed before his eyes, mingling with fleeting recollections of laughter and tender moments they had once shared. He pressed his palms against his temples, as if trying to physically coax his memories back into coherence.

“Why did I leave her?” The question echoed in his mind like a haunting refrain, demanding an answer that remained frustratingly elusive. He knew he had hurt Y/n, but the reason eluded him, buried beneath layers of forgotten experiences and manipulated emotions.

As he sat there in the dim light of his room, Sunghoon couldn’t shake the feeling of unease that gnawed at him from within. Despite his father’s assurances and the facade of indifference he often wore, a part of him longed to understand the truth of his past and the connection he shared with Y/n.

Meanwhile, Y/n sat at her desk, the weight of Sunghoon’s returned necklace hanging heavy around her neck. She couldn’t shake the sense of unease that lingered in the air, a feeling that their brief interaction had opened a door to a past she thought was closed.

Lost in thought, she barely noticed the passage of time until a soft knock sounded at her window. Startled, she glanced up and widened her eyes at the sight of Sunghoon struggling to climb into her room.

“What the hell, Sunghoon! There’s a door!” Y/n whispered, opening her window to let him in.

“Can we talk?” His voice was tentative, almost hesitant, as if unsure of how she would respond.

Y/n hesitated for a moment, her heart pounding in her chest, before nodding silently.

2

Y/n sat on the edge of her bed as she watched Sunghoon glance around her room, as if searching for something.

“What do you want to talk about?” Y/n asked, breaking the silence.

“Why did I leave?” Sunghoon asked directly.

Y/n looked at him, confused, before repeating his question. “Why did you leave, Sunghoon?”

“What happened to me?” he asked.

“Answer my question first,” Sunghoon replied, impatient for the answers he sought.

“Because of your father,” Y/n responded, looking up at him. “You never told me what your father did, if that’s what you’re going to ask next. On the night of the ball, you showed up in front of me and told me you were leaving to protect me. Then you gave me your necklace and left. We barely knew each other, but despite that, you told me you were thankful you met me. Then you left,” Y/n added, trying not to burst into tears.

“Why my father?” Sunghoon asked.

“Jake told me your father is dangerous and might have found out about me, but you never told me the real reason why you left,” Y/n replied, slightly raising her voice. “I waited for you for three years, and you decided it was better to forget me,” Y/n added, standing up from her bed to approach Sunghoon. “What happened to you?” she asked, looking directly into his eyes.

“I don’t know. I woke up, and my father told me I was in an accident and couldn’t remember a thing. I’m here because I dreamt of that night—the night I kissed you, the night I left you,” Sunghoon replied.

“You should go home before your father finds out you’re here,” Y/n said, looking away from Sunghoon.

“Please, look at me,” Sunghoon pleaded.

“Why?” Y/n asked.

“I’m seeing something,” Sunghoon responded as he held Y/n’s face with both hands, forcing her to look at him.

3

As Heeseung stood alone in his dimly lit apartment, a sinister smile curled upon his lips, tainted by the bitterness of jealousy that simmered within him, his gaze drifted to the cityscape beyond the window, where the lights of the bustling metropolis seemed to mock his solitude. 

In the depth of his envy, Heeseung found solace in the power he wielded over others, relishing the control he exerted over their lives. Yet, beneath the veneer of confidence, lurked a festering resentment towards those who possessed what he could not. 

As he poured himself a glass of whiskey, Heeseung’s thoughts turned to Y/n, the object of his unrequited affection. He watched from afar as she laughed and smiled with others, a sharp pang of jealousy piercing his heart with every glance. 

In the privacy of his apartment, Heeseung revealed in the fantasies of revenge that danced through his mind, each one more twisted than the last. He knew that he could never possess Y/n, but that didn’t stop him from wanting to destroy anyone who dared to stand in his way.

But even as he plotted his machinations a voice in the back of his mind whispered of the futility of his desire, reminding him that true power could ever be gained through manipulation alone. And as he raised his glass in a silent toast to his own delusions, Heeseung couldn’t escape that bitter truth that his jealousy would ultimately consume him from within.

4

“Where did your father take you?” Y/n asked, now lying in her bed with Sunghoon beside her.

“Italy,” Sunghoon responded, turning to look at Y/n.

“So maybe we can find someone who can help us uncover the truth of what really happened to you,” Y/n suggested.

“I don’t remember anyone except the person I saw my father fighting with before he sent me back here,” Sunghoon said as he hugged Y/n from the side, burying his face in her neck.

“Do you at least remember his name?” Y/n asked.

“Lorenzo,” Sunghoon responded, his face still buried in Y/n’s neck.

“Your father will kill you if he finds out you’re here,” Y/n said, trying to push Sunghoon away.

“Stay still,” Sunghoon murmured.

“Hoon, don’t,” Y/n warned as she felt him leave sloppy kisses on her neck.

“You smell nice,” Sunghoon said, pulling Y/n closer to his chest.

“You should go home,” Y/n said as she finally turned to face Sunghoon.

“A little more, I missed you so much,” Sunghoon said.

“Fine, but if you ignore me tomorrow, I’ll make sure you never see me again, not even a glance,” Y/n said, burying her face in his chest as they cuddled.

CHAPTER 9: New Memories

1

The next day.

Y/n couldn't focus in class. Her mind kept replaying the scenes last night. How Sunghoon held her close to him. How he kissed her. How he almost made love to her, but her mom interrupted them by entering her room and telling Sunghoon to go home before he gets hurt again. Y/n tried not to smile as she remembers last night knowing that Sunghoon is watching her. 

During lunch, Y/n and her friends sat together in the cafeteria. 

“What!?” Jake yelled, garnering attention from the other students as Y/n smacked him in his head.

“Can you keep your voice low,” Y/n whispered.

“So you’re telling me, Sunghoon snuck into your room last night you both almost ended up doing it?” Jay asked quietly, making Y/n blush.

“Damn, he’s fast,” Yura said, taking a bite of her sandwich looking away as she saw him approaching them.

Sunghoon put down on their table Y/n’s strawberry milk he had bought at the convenience store before whispering in her ear “I’ll be waiting for you, we have to finish something we started,” not forgetting to bite her earlobes and making sure Jake hears it as he looked at him smirking seeing the reaction on his face before walking away.

“Damn, I didn’t need to hear the business you both will do after lunch,” Jake said looking at Y/n with wide eyes.

“Shut up, we need to help him,” Y/n said, gathering her friend's attention.

“Help him about what?” Jungwon asked. 

“Follow me after lunch,” Y/n said.

“No thank you, I don’t want to see what you and Sunghoon will do,” Jake said as he earned another smack from Y/n.

2

“So we’re here because we need to find something that we don’t even know if we’re gonna find it,” Jay said looking at Sunghoon and Y/n who’s making out in the corner of the library.

“Let’s start looking for the files,” Jay said looking away.

“What?” Yura asked.

“Nothing,” Jay replied. But being curious to what he saw, they turned to look at Sunghoon and Y/n eating each other's faces.

“What the fuck,” Jake whispered as he covered his eyes and started looking for the files and the others did the same. 

“Sunghoon, we need to help them find the files,” Y/n said in between their kisses. 

“A bit more,” Sunghoon replied as he deepened their kiss, shoving his tongue inside her mouth and sucking her lips. 

“Can you both stop eating each other's faces and help us find the damn files,” Yura said, who now approached the two, crossing her arms.

As they all looked for the files together they didn’t notice a pair of eyes of someone who's been watching them from afar. 

“Are you sure his name is Lorenzo?” Jungwon asked Sunghoon.

“Yeah, he always calls him that,” Sunghoon responded.

“Do you at least know his surname?” Jake asked.

“Lorenzo Giordano,” Jay said, making all of them turn their heads on him.

“We missed this,” Jay added, smiling.

3

“So what do we know about him?” Y/n asked.

“His Italian name is Lorenzo Giordano, he has one brother and he used to be friends with Mr. Park.” Jake said.

“That’s it?” Jay asked.

“There are 500 papers in here, we have to read a bit more if we want to know more,” Jungwon said.

“I don't have more classes, I can take them home, and read them.” Y/n offered.

“You’re not gonna be able to read that alone,” Sunghoon said.

“You can help me,” Y/n replied. “But we’ll read it here, I know what you have in your mind,” Y/n added after seeing Sunghoon’s smirk.

“Yeah, that’ll be safer for you two, since we don’t know what his father is really up to these days.” Jake suggested.

“And we can also help after our class,” Yura added.

“Ok,” Y/n said.

“I’ll buy us coffee.” Sunghoon said, pecking Y/n’s forehead before leaving to buy coffee.

“Damn he remembers you and now all he wants to do is kiss you,” Jake said, teasing Y/n.

“Shut up,” Y/n said as they all laughed at her red face. 

4

Y/n started going through the files Jay had found, not forgetting to take note of important details. 

“He’s the cousin of Mr. Park?” She asked herself as she went through the 4th file. “He killed his own uncle for money?” She asked herself again. As Y/n went through the 5th file she saw something.

“Mrs. Park was killed while Mr. Park is out on a mission and their main suspect is CEO Sim,” Y/n read. 

“Hey,” Sunghoon said as he put down the iced coffee he had brought her. 

“Found something?” He asked. 

“Nothing much,” Y/n replied.

“This 5th file is written by Lorenzo, a file where he stated about your mom’s death.” Y/n added. “But Jake’s father was mentioned in this file, I don’t understand it,” Y/n mumbled. 

“I’ll read that, read the 6th file.” Sunghoon said smiling at Y/n. 

5

Heeseung leaned against the wall, his gaze fixed on Y/n as she interacted with Sunghoon. Despite his efforts to remain composed, a surge of conflicting emotions swept through him. He couldn’t deny the pang of jealousy that tugged at his heartstrings, knowing that Sunghoon’s presence stirred up memories and feelings he had long tried to suppress. 

But jealousy was just one facet of Heeseung’s complex emotions. Beneath the surface, there was a deep-seated concern for Y/n’s well-being. He had seen the pain in her eyes when Sunghoon had left and it tore at his sould to witness her suffering. 

Despite the turmoil raging within him, Heeseung couldn't deny the undeniable truth: he cared for Y/n deeply, more than he had ever dared to admit. She had become a integral part of his life, a source of light in the darkness that threatened to consume him.

Lost in his thoughts he didn’t notice that the bell had rang a few minutes ago.

“Why are you standing there?” Yura asked Heeseung, making him turn around. And Yura saw the scene and she smirked. “You’ll never have her, Sunghoon has been sucking her face since last night,” she added, smirking triggering Heeseung.

“What did you say?” Heeseung asked as he unknowingly grabbed her by her shirt collar, making her gasp. 

“Heeseung what the fuck!” Jay yelled as he saw the scene in front of him, gathering Y/n and Sunghoon's attention as they widened their eyes. 

Heeseung who suddenly came back from his senses, widened his eyes.”I’m sorry, I didn’t mean it, I’m sorry, I’m an asshole,” Heeseung said, apologizing only to receive a punch from Jake. 

“Jake!” Y/n yelled as she ran towards them to stop him from attacking Heeseung again. 

“I know you fucking like Y/n, but don’t fucking take it out on my sister!” Jake spat at him.

“What’s happening here?” The librarian asked. “All of you to the dean’s office,” she added.

“No, this guy right here grabbed my friend from her collar,” Sunghoon said coldly, glaring at the librarian.

“Heeseung dean’s office now!” The librarian yelled looking at Heeseung. 

6

“Yura what happened?” Y/n asked as she sat beside her friend. 

“I don’t know, I saw him watching you and Sunghoon and I told him he can’t have you then he suddenly grabbed me like that,” Yura responded.

“Are you hurt?” Jay asked, concerned.

“No, I’m fine,” Yura responded.

“Next time don’t talk to him,” Jake said. 

“Wait, what do you guys know so far?” Yura asked raising her eyebrows.

“Nothing much, but it keeps mentioning your father,” Y/n responded.

“Huh?” Yura and Jake said at the same time.

“On every file, like from the 5th file it keeps mentioning Mr. Sim,” Y/n said.

“That’s weird.” Yura said.

[icantbeseenlikethisonmymain]

Low-stakes HC that modern!mizu has a batshit wild diet.

Maybe the audience for this is like two people and my dog but I've been sitting on this and for some reason feel compelled to put it into the world. So anyway

We're talking instant ramen like 4x a week, plain chicken and rice 6x a week, green tea and holistic health immunity shots mixed with monsters, so many candy and protein bars

Also just like bags of plain lettuce (?????)

She only eats at like weird hours, eg. 2:30 pm and 4 am.

One time Taigen found Mizu's candy stash, which takes up the entire space under her bed.

(She threatened to kill him if he ever took her chocolate truffles, but sometimes she lets him steal some anyway.)

It all drives Akemi crazy

Obviously, Akemi meal preps and makes sure she's getting the exactly right proportions of meat-to-veggies-to-carbs. She watches body-positive health and wellness dietitians on YouTube and is a green juice and smoothie drinker

The only time Mizu eats well is right before a big [insert sport] tournament or game

But then she is RELIGIOUS about health in the week leading up to it

Sleeping 8 hrs a night, eating balanced meals during actual mealtimes, drinking a liter of water a day, even cutting out caffeine completely

(Ringo helps her with the balanced meals part)

Every time Akemi thinks this time mizu's going to keep the healthy lifestyle going

And every time, the morning after, Akemi finds six crushed monsters and 14 protein bar wrappers in the trash

And then mizu walks out of her room double fisting a whole bell pepper and a bag of yogurt raisins

It's 6 fucking am

And Akemi gives up

[liviawildrose]

𝐝𝐚𝐢𝐥𝐲 𝐝𝐨𝐦𝐢𝐧𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧

21/01/2025

productivity & focus

• studied for: biology spots

• focus level: 4/10 (i got distracted so much)

• top takeaway: i need to increase my focus and grasping power

• time spent: for 2 to 3 hrs

• distractions: i was getting distracted by chat-gpt man i love yapping on gpt

fitness & energy

• workout: i did stretching and followed two follow along workouts

streching for 10mins in the morning

15mins abs and waist workout in the evening

8mins slim arms workout in the evening

• energy before: 5/10

• energy after: 7/10 (girl i was actually motivated to study)

• highlights: nothing i was barely managing to complete my workouts. (your sister suffered)

• weight: 55.7 kg

• progress update: first day so no progress but it’s only up from here (positive)

nutrition & hydration

• breakfast: poha (it’s a healthy indian breakfast option)

• lunch: idli sambhar and chutney (again idli is great for your gut)

• dinner: i just ate idli sambhar again i love it

• drinks:

chia seed and water (empty stomach)

ash gourd juice (empty stomach)

beetroot carrot and tomatoes juice (after breakfast)

turmeric tea (evening)

apple cider vinegar (diluted in water) (15 min before lunch)

• water intake: 1 liter only

• feeling: i’m actually happy for healthy my meal choices were today i even refused my mom when she offered me some snacks

(i also started intermittent fasting followed 16:8 today i.e 10am to 6pm)

mental health & self-care

• mood: i am really happy that i at-least started feeling content

• stress level: no stress today

• self care:

skin care:- yes

body care:- yes

oral care:- yes

hair care:- nope (i have to make a routine)

mindset & manifestation

• subliminals: i listened to three of my playlists (will list the subliminals if i see them working)

• affirmation of the day: lol i just kept telling myself “beast mode” and “train yourself to become one in a million”

physical & emotional health

• sleep hours: 2am-7am (5 hrs) and 4pm-5pm (1 hr)

• sleep quality: good

• energy levels: i lost my energy by afternoon so i took a nap (as i mentioned 4pm-5pm)

personal growth & reflections

• what i learned about myself: that sleep is important (im sleeping early today) and really if i manage time i can do so many more

• how i’m becoming stronger: the way im motivating myself to get shit done (i did so much self talk today convincing myself to get up and eat healthy and study and workout)

• one challenge i faced: lack of focus, need to check my phone so many times

• one thing i’m proud of: that i started today finally took a step towards a better future

gratitude & positivity

• gratitude of the day: everyday is a new beginning

• what went right: all my meals

• tomorrow’s focus: to focus on getting my studies done (things i didn’t finish today) be more mindful with my meals and workouts

[theweirdwideweb]

we want the work blowout deets

I'll give you the tea but it will be lengthy and I'm going to cry.

Thank you for asking anon. To be honest with you I've been crying in bed about it for the past couple hours. I stood up just now and went to the bathroom and saw two big wet patches on my smiley face tshirt and it sucks so much. I'm so sad.

I could really use some feedback on this situation to be honest. OK. So the long story short is that I got a new supervisor a year ago and my work life has been hell ever since. First off, she doesn't understand what I do. She's never done my job. And she is THE micromanager from hell. For the first 7 months of the year she had me turning in a time card every week showing everything I did down to 5 minute increments. I turn the spreadsheet in on Friday, then every Monday we'd have a meeting where she'd tell me she just doesn't understand how I use my time. Why did it take so long to do X amount of invoices? She estimates it should take 2 minutes per invoice, but it took me 4 minutes per invoice. Like I said she knows nothing about my job and as many times as I've explained it she still "doesn't get it." It was demoralizing, nerve wracking, and frankly so insulting to my competence that I went to her boss (my old supervisor who I love). When she did nothing I went to HR with serious concerns about discrimination----it's no coincidence that I was granted some medical leave at the beginning of the year to address mental health concerns.

Yada yada yada, we made some changes and I don't have to turn in the spreadsheet anymore, but she is still making me email her every week with a list of tasks I didn't complete from the week before. It's still insulting but at least she agreed I'd only have to do it for another 3 months. Actually she said 1 month, but she's such a bitch that by the next HR meeting she claimed she never said 1 month and switched it to 3 months. She's a fucking moron, reader. She's dead fucking stupid. I really can't stress that enough. Dumb. It took her 15 years to get the position I got within 3 years of starting. The only reason she's where she is is seniority, personal relationships with management, and being a fucking bully. A dumb bully! Telling you how to prioritize your work! She's accused me recently of being unprepared for a meeting---a meeting that I hosted, provided all the material for, wrote all the notes on, fleshing out a new process she told me to start implementing but had zero idea how. She just tosses ideas at me and I'm left to figure out any kind of practical way to do it because---AGAIN---she doesn't know how to do my job. There've been other things too. She's a sneak humiliator. She's a button pusher. She's a moron. A big fat ugly moron who looks like Roz from Monster's Inc.

So on Thursday at 4:30pm, end of the day, suddenly a meeting with HR and this cunt appears on my calendar for 10am Friday (yesterday). I'm like---well here we go. She's either going to fire me or put me on a formal PIP. I'll be honest with you, I'd already decided to quit but I was holding out for my bonus in December. I entered the meeting feeling tranquil. I thought, "Do it. Pull the trigger. I'm ready for the end. Just fire me. Let me go. Release me."

But when the meeting starts it's just a touch base with our HR rep to see how everything is going. Are YOU fucking KIDDING me. Anyone would have thought the same thing I did. Of all the things my supervisor sucks dicks at, communication is the worst of all. She can't even spell. She can't string a sentence together. I mean it's shocking she writes at like a 6th grade level. I've seen emails she sent that are so garbled they are literally incomprehensible.

So I'm PISSED. I express how nerve-wracking the previous evening and all morning had been. We're off to a great start. She lets me know she's going to try to end the email process early. OK good. She tells me she's concerned because I haven't been providing personal feedback to her when prompted. Easy enough to explain: I hate your fucking guts, I'm trying to be a grey rock until I can quit. But I can't say that so I'm just like Alright.

Now here comes the bullshit! 1) She now wants me to ask permission in advance to work on weekends. I'm so overworked and stressed out I work like every weekend and now she wants me to ask her permission for the privilege of working on my day off. Guess who's never working a weekend for this company again. 2) The emails that just contain a list of tasks, right? Was 1 month, now 3 months, etc. She also changed the rules so that I have to provide a count of all the claims I processed across multiple platforms. And well---she just doesn't understand how I processed X number of claims and it took this long. In fact, she said, she counts 8 hours reported on my timecard she can't account for last week.

I lost it. I was openly hostile and belligerent. Fuck this fucking bitch. I cannot work for this vile idiot anymore. I actually used my IRL voice to poke holes in what she was saying and pointing out how fucking stupid it all is. Then she comes at me for not respecting her authority. As a reminder, just minutes before she'd complained about me having no feedback for her.

I left the meeting by refusing offers for additional time with the HR rep. I was in no place. I barely worked the rest of the day I was so upset and I didn't send my email, didn't complete my tasks, and didn't ask her permission to finish it up on the weekend (lol). I don't have another job lined up but this is the last time she's going to question whether I'm just straight up lying on my timecard or some kind of moron. That's it. This is her 100th strike for me.

Now here's why I'm so conflicted. 1) My previous supervisor (now my boss's boss) is going on a leave of absence like THIS WEEK for about a month and a half to treat her cancer. I care about her very much. I don't want to stress her out at the last second like this. 2) My bitch boss is also having a sudden serious health problem requiring her to be at the hospital multiple times a week. 3) On top of that, this stupid fucking cow has to take over my boss's boss's work while she's out for cancer. 4) They are absolutely fucked without me. For me to leave right now is a disaster. Add to that---the one person I manage and have a 100% rock solid relationship straight up told me that she's going to quit at some point and that if I quit she's walking out right behind me. She said this to me unprompted and I discouraged her from quitting. 5) I have a heart. The boss and the boss's boss are both having life problems that are more important than work. I think it's immoral to leave them in the lurch right now. They have serious health problems. As much as I hate my boss, at one point we were friends. My heart is breaking.

So I'm crying in bed. I can't live this way anymore. Toxic work stress has taken over my life. I get so miserable, but then some days it's just a job. It's a job I know how to do. I've been here 6 years. The health insurance is spectacular. I've got nothing lined up. I have adequate savings to get through a couple months of unemployment, but it's no guarantee I'll find a position that suits me in that timeframe. I have all these personal relationships at work (a mistake I will not repeat). I've let this job become part of my identity. I'm getting older. I'm 37 and I'm tired and I'm crazy and I just want peace. This position is fully remote---what if the next guy makes me work in person? My whole life will change. I just want this job to work like it has been for the 5 years before she took over. I'm so sad. I've felt this way so many times.

I want to quit first thing Monday. But I want to offer them the option of staying on until good boss gets back from cancer leave, so long as I don't have to work with illiterate cunt boss any more than is absolutely critical in the meantime. What do you think guys? My heart is breaking.

[flowerparrish]

Podfic Stats - 2024 Edition!

I chose to track this year by when I posted (or in a few cases, privately shared or submitted a finished pod to a person or challenges). This means that some things that go into this year's total were technically done prior to 2024, but not many! This also means that some things that are done but unposted will not count toward this year (but again, not many!) Also, because I tracked by when podfics were posted rather than finished (the most reliable way for me to track; I am very bad at updating constantly when I finish something, but I can easily go thru to check when stuff was posted & update), this caused the big event months (December, August, May) to be weighted more strongly, but everything made for those events was within this year, so idk, I still think it's fun and cool.

OVERALL

I posted 481 podfics or podfic updates over the course of 2024!

Across all of that, I posted (or in a few cases, privately shared) over 141 hours of podfic!

I took part in ~30 multivoices (I lost track at some point lol)

Most Productive Months

December - 26h 4m 55s

May - 15h 27m 30s

August - 15h 26m 34s

April - 13h 2m 18s

October - 12h 33m 42s

Pods I Posted 2+ Hrs of in 2024

Trade Your Heart for Bones to Know (fic by blackkat) - all 23 chapters podded in 2024, caught up to current point in fic! Current length: 9h 46 mns

Cura Te Ipusm (by bioluminescent, writethroughtheknight) - 14 chs posted in 2024, current length: 3h 32 mns

Lightning in a Bottle (by DisillusionedDanny) - complete multi-ch fic posted for ITPE, 21 chs, 4h 11mns

singing in the dead of night (by dukeaubergine) - complete multi-ch fic posted for ITPE, 9 chs, 2h 48mns

Entrusted with This (by wanderingjedihistorian) - complete multi-ch fic posted for @kbirbpods' birthday, 10 chs, 2h 48mns

Begin Again (by niobium) - all 4 chs posted, 2h 22 mns

Stronger for the Breaking - posted for @seascribbling's birthday, 2h 16mns

[Podfics] Lost and Found (series) by SpaceWall - all posted together for Summer Podfic Swap, 5 works, 5h 25mns total

WIPs finished in 2024

Do Every Stupid Thing (by thepartyresonsible) - 26 chs, 11h 11mns

A Meditation on Railroading (by eggmacguffin) - 5 chs, 2h 37mns

Brave Face, Hide the Truth (by kbirb) - 14 chs, 3h 44mns

I walked with you (once upon a dream) - 6 chs, 1h 32 mns

Top Fandoms (by number of pods or ch updates to pods)

Star Wars, with 241 things posted

Danny Phantom x DC, with 53 things posted

DC, with 44 things posted

DC/Marvel Crossovers, with 33 things posted

Marvel, with 24 things posted

aaand for some variety, All for the Game, with 17 things posted!

Authors I podded the most:

@blackkatmagic, with 54 entries across solo pods & wip updates

@wanderingjedihistorian, with 41 entries across solo pods and updates!

@kbirbpods, with 19 pods!

myself, with 19 pods!

@sishal01, with 14 pods!

bioluminescent & writethroughthenight collab, with 14 updates to Cura Te Ipsum's podfic!

@bittercape, with 9 pods!

Music I Used the Most:

Goo Goo Dolls, used 23 times in chapter updates for "trade your heart for bones to know"

Jason Walker, used 15 times, most of which were chapter updates for "cura te ipsum"

general Star Wars OST music, used approx 14 times!

Taylor Swift, used 12 times

Bastille, used 11 times

Hozier, used 10 times

Banners, used 9 times

Crowander (artist found on Free Music Archive), Dodie, and AJR, all used 8 times

ATLA intro/theme, used 7 times

Florene + the Machine, used 6 times

Ratings I Podded Most:

T - 245

G - 160

E - 53

M - 16

NR - 5

*Note that many of the "E" entries are for longer WIPs and so the entries themselves weren't explicit

Most Podded Fandoms by Audio Length:

Star Wars - over 72 hours

DPxDC - over 32.5 hours

DC - over 11.5 hours

AFTG - over 7.5 hours

Marvel/DC - over 7.5 hours

Marvel - over 6.5 hours

LOTR/The Hobbit - almost 3 hours

Merlin - 2.5 hours

Star Trek - just over 2 hours

Stranger Things - just under 2 hours

According to Ao3, my most common ships per amount of works posted/updated in 2024:

Cody/Obi-Wan (Star Wars) - 25 works

Tim Drake & Jason Todd (DC) - 16 works

Fox/Bail Organa/Breha Organa (Star Wars) - 12 works

Danny Fenton/Jason Todd (DPxDC) - 10 works

Waxer/Boil (Star Wars) - 10 works

People I Solo Gifted the Most Pods to:

@kbirbpods, who was my giftee in BOTH Summer Podfic Swap and ITPE, and is also my best friend who I pod for a lot anyway

@sishal01, who I have really adored becoming so close with this year!! Sometimes, people just get you, y'know?

@wanderingjedihistorian, who is one of my most beloved friends to make podfic for

@seascribbling, who is my wife lmao

@bittercape, who was my recipient in the Marvel/DC 48 Hour Exchange and I went a little over the top lmao. I am so sorry bits, but I am also so glad you enjoyed your pods!

FINAL THOUGHTS

This was a weird year, because I got top surgery, moved countries, and have been unemployed for the last few months. But also I made so much content and had so much fun with it and I'm blown away and proud of that? Like, seriously, how many people outside of like people who make audio for their jobs can say they created almost 6 days worth of finished audio in a year??

I think this year I also let myself just follow my heart and go nuts a lot, and it definitely paid off. I'm not sure what goals I have for next year except try to finish some WIPs, try to continue avoiding things like Big Bangs that stress me out, try to continue doing things like Voiceteam and Podfic Exchanges that excite me, and otherwise just... have fun with it?

[piyo13sdoodles]

day 28, chapter 76:

At the expression on Quintus' face Cliopher could take no more. He started laughing before he made it out of the room, though the loudest whoops came after he'd reached the hallway. He did not get far along, just sank down at the top of the stairs so he could try to muffle his mirth with his hands. ~ "Your family seems somewhat perturbed," Rhodin observed after a few minutes.

and bonus gallery shot + musings under the cut because it's been exactly 4 weeks now:

fun to see what kinds of patterns intentionally or unintentionally crop up... or also which days i can tell i was busy vs which days i had time or worked in advance to dedicate more time to the piece. if anyone's curious, on average one of these might take me 2-3 hours to complete! more detailed ones like october 23 i think probably took me closer to 5 hours, simpler ones like october 9 maybe 1.5h.

i am both sad and glad it's almost over--i've definitely lost a fair amount of sleep trying to get these done in time (usually i work a day ahead so i can post at a reasonable time, but that hasn't always worked out, especially in the final stretch here), so this pace does become untenable on top of work, but it also is really fun to make so much art! and to always have something to work on rather than becoming trapped into that idea of 'what should i do, too many choices, can't decide..' the answer is always inktober!

in any case, seeing the gallery like this is also interesting to me because it really helps me realize where i could have/should have pushed the ink a bit more--working in ink is (to me; this is definitely not gospel, just how i consider ink work) an exercise in controlling contrast. you don't have colour to drive edges or cool/warm tones, so the only value you have is the light-dark contrast, and in my mind at least, good use of contrast should carry across to a smaller format. for example, zoomed out like this i can see that october 11th really needed more contrast in the feathers--they blend too much into the background in a way that doesn't really work to emphasize that ludvic is standing in front of the candles there. otoh, on october 5, i think that one's fine because what i wanted was for the moon to draw the eye first, and THEN for you to notice HR sitting there.

overall, also, i want to keep these interesting--if the compositions are always the same, then it can become repetitive or boring, so i wanted a good mix of light and dark compositions, and a good balance of tone across all of them. which so far i'm pleased with! and this year i let myself use pencil undersketches and do thumbnail planning and everything (last year i really wanted to get better at visualizing the piece in my head so i set the challenge of just committing straight to paper... i'm still happy with last year's but you can tell i took on much more challenging compositions this year lol)

anyway!! much to think about, so much to learn, i wanted to work a bit in advance again so i won't be putting tomorrow's up almost at midnight again but alas i think it was not meant to be, so i'm off to bed and if you read this whole thing, congrats, have a cookie *hands you a cookie*

[cecropiacrown]

Fic #4 for my December Writing Challenge

Characters: Mu Qing, Feng Xin, mentioned: Mu Qing's mom

Pairing: pre-relationship fengqing

Word Count: 2k

Plot Points: grief, overwhelm, panic, hurt/comfort - whumpee: Mu Qing

Two weeks.

Two weeks until Mu Qing will be allowed back into his apartment complex after a water main break caused significant damage to his unit and almost every other unit on his floor.

Before being forced to temporarily vacate, he was able to grab a few bare essentials from the tattered remains of his flooded apartment, but it's certainly not much. His unit—unfortunately—took the main brunt of the flooding and, save for a couple of well-preserved keepsakes and the laundry that was tumbling away at the laundromat down the street, the place is a total loss.

And, perhaps one of the worst parts about the whole ordeal, is that it's not like Mu Qing can afford to stay in a hotel in the meantime. Hell, he's lucky to have enough money to meet the minimum balance requirement in his savings account.

He has no car to sleep in and his initial plan of splitting his time between work, public libraries, a 24/hr gym, and the large train station in the center of the city, fell apart within the first day and a half of his homelessness.

So it's with a clothes basket's worth of belongings and his battered pride that Mu Qing finds himself sitting at Feng Xin's kitchen counter, sipping on over-steeped tea and trying—desperately—to not tear his hair out from the humiliation.

It's December and a heavy layer of fresh snow covers the ground. Mu Qing can see it in all its undisturbed glory as he looks past the lace-like frost on the kitchen window. It glitters in the pale bluish light of the streetlamps, looking endless and unforgiving in a way that makes Mu Qing feel incredibly grateful to be indoors.

The sky is overcast this evening, wispy looking clouds visibly roiling through the sky like smoke. It's nearly midnight, but Mu Qing has only been in Feng Xin's apartment for less than half an hour, not having been able to accept he needed help until he had no other choice but to reach out to it before it crawled into bed for the night.

Feng Xin is still rummaging around in the closet in the hallway. Mu Qing listens, but keeps his eyes on the window, tracing the pattern of the frost until he feels dizzy and then, with his eyes still open, he tries not to see anything at all.

A heavy wind licks at the building and Mu Qing shivers involuntarily, curling his fingers ever so slightly tighter around his mug and trying to bleed the warmth of the tea into him by osmosis alone.

Though he'd never admit it out loud, Mu Qing is quite sensitive to the cold, and the walk from the bus stop to Feng Xin's apartment building was not a particularly short one. He lets his eyes come back into focus and, in the reflection of the window, he can just barely make out his face, which is still flushed with cold from his walk. His cheeks—the tip of his nose—his ears—they have yet to warm up completely and he's acutely aware of the ache in the joints in his hands.

He brings the mug up to his dry lips and sips on the tea, just to have something else to focus on.

"You should have called me sooner," Feng Xin says as he emerges from the hallway with a heap of fabric in his arms—a towel, a couple of blankets, and a pillow, it appears. The clear reprimand in his voice makes Mu Qing roll his eyes. He shifts in his seat and doesn't reply. Snow begins to fall anew, only visible in the cones of lamplight illuminating the parking lot.

"I would have picked you up, y'know. You didn't have to take the bus," Feng Xin continues, piling the things onto the counter and taking a seat across from Mu Qing. He drags a hand through his messy, untied hair and sighs, loud and put-upon. It makes Mu Qing feel sick to his stomach so he scoffs and takes another sip of his shitty tea to at least appear like he's being a gracious guest.

"What were you going to do," Mu Qing can't help but snark, "Come pick me up in that?" And as Mu Qing says this, he frowns and waves a hand in Feng Xin's direction, indicating his choice of bedtime attire: a t-shirt and boxers.

"I would have gotten fucking dressed first, asshole."

"You didn't bother to get dressed to open the door, so you can't blame me for not having any confidence in you."

Feng Xin's face grows hard and impatient—a button Mu Qing has always been skilled at pushing. But he appears to bite his tongue and shake it off, much to Mu Qing's displeasure.

"I would have gotten dressed for you."

"I got here just fine on my own, didn't I?" Mu Qing says, shrugging. He purposely ignores Feng Xin's attempt to be civil, not really knowing what to do with such a thing.

Feng Xin clearly disagrees with that statement, scrutinizing Mu Qing's face like it holds all the proof he needs.

"Why?" he asks suddenly, his eyes hard and his brows furrowed. Mu Qing turns back towards the window.

"Why what?" he replies, annoyed. His leg starts to bounce and he anxiously thumbs at the handle of his mug. The sight of the falling snow suddenly pisses him off so he turns again, grimacing down into his nearly empty cup of tea.

"Why do you always need to do it all by yourself, Mu Qing?"

What a stupid thing to ask.

"Because I can," he answers easily, rolling his shoulders back and forcing himself to finish the rest of his tea.

"You don't have to."

"Of course I have to," he snaps, setting down the mug with a bit too much force and pushing it away from himself. He glares at Feng Xin and only grows angrier having to see all the kindnesses Feng Xin has offered him spread out between them like they're trying to remind Mu Qing of what an awful fucking person he is.

"What would you even know about doing shit yourself—as if you haven't always had a fucking safety net to fall back on. You might live on your own, Feng Xin, but daddy's money has never left your fucking sight—"

"Shut your fucking mouth!" Feng Xin snarls, slamming a hand down on the counter top as he stands up.

Mu Qing follows suit, ripping himself out of his chair and accidentally kicking his laundry basket. He growls under his breath and kicks it again—on purpose this time—denting one of the handles until it snaps cleanly off. He snatches the basket off of the ground, stuffs the broken handle in amongst his things, and makes for the entryway.

Feng Xin moves to block his path, one hand gripping the corner of the counter top and the other pressing into the wall beside the fridge, effectively cutting Mu Qing off. Mu Qing doesn't dare look him in the eyes, staring straight passed him and trying to shove his way through.

"Don't fucking be like that," Feng Xin says, having lowered his voice considerably. There is a lingering kindness in the way he speaks, in the way he looks at Mu Qing like he's disappointed, as if he expected better of him. Mu Qing can't stand it. He tries to shove through the barrier of Feng Xin's arm again but Feng grabs hold of the other side of the basket to try to stop him.

Mu Qing loses it.

He rips the basket out of Feng Xin's grip but uses too much force. The basket knocks into the pile of blankets on the counter, slips out of his hands, and slides all the way to the other end of the island. It collides with the mug, which hits the chair Mu Qing had been sitting in and clatters to the ground, shattering.

Feng Xin's rage boils over again. Any gentleness he may have had for Mu Qing is gone—just like Mu Qing deserves.

"God, what the fuck is wrong with you, Mu Qing!?"

What's wrong?

"Get the fuck away from me, Feng Xin! I'm leaving! I don't want to fucking be here anyway!"

What's wrong?

Feng Xin makes to grab Mu Qing's wrist but Mu Qing swivels on his heel and shakes him off, ending up with his back to the fridge and no where else to go except around the the counter in the other direction and through the path of unnecessary destruction he caused.

What isn't fucking wrong?

It's December again.

Another year without Mama.

Another year where nothing seems to have gone his way.

"Why are you always trying to start a fucking fight? Can't you just say what you fucking mean for once? None of this meaningless, petty bullshit—god, I'm so sick of it!"

Mu Qing squeezes his hands into fists, digging his nails into his palms to try to ground himself. He wants to move, but there's broken ceramic all over the floor and he doesn't have his shoes on.

He's cornered—like an animal.

Feng Xin sighs, dropping his hand from the counter but keeping his other one firmly planted on the wall beside Mu Qing. Their eyes meet and something vile swirls in Mu Qing's stomach, making him feel like he's going to vomit.

"Listen, just—" Feng Xin searches Mu Qing's eyes, his own expression having softened into something too tender for Mu Qing to hold and yet, too nice to bear looking away from.

"Just say what you want. None of this deflecting, roundabout shit. I'll fucking listen, okay?"

Mu Qing swallows hard, his breathing picking up against his will. He stares at Feng Xin's face, waiting for him to lose his patience, but all Feng Xin does is stubbornly stare back.

It's too much.

It's all just too much.

Mu Qing's resolve starts to deteriorate.

"I'm so tired," he finally says, not having known what words were going to come out of his mouth until they had already been spoken.

Feng Xin's face falls, his hand twitching uselessly at his side. He's looking at Mu Qing with too much care in his eyes and Mu Qing can't possibly stand it.

"I'm so tired, Feng Xin," he says again, his voice so hoarse he almost chokes on it. A familiar ache throbs in his chest and he's left feeling horrifically small and on display. His next inhale is too shaky to be his own; he's not allowed to make such sounds.

Feng Xin reaches out to him then, his hand gently encircling Mu Qing's wrist, and the touch is all it takes for Mu Qing to finally crumple under the weight of it all.

His chest heaves with his next breath and he stumbles over the ensuing sob, his whole face trembling from the effort to hold it back—but he can't. He slams a hand to his chest to try to calm himself down, sucking in breath after breath to no avail. Helplessly, he looks around, as if he'll suddenly be able to see a previously overlooked escape route through his tears.

"Mu Qing," Feng Xin murmurs, and the sound of it hits Mu Qing like an arrow shot clean through his lungs.

"I can't—" Mu Qing shakes his head, squeezing his eyes shut as if it will change anything.

Feng Xin steps further into Mu Qing's space, his warmth so overpowering it makes Mu Qing unsteady. He stumbles and ends up with his face pressed into Feng Xin's shoulder, hands grasping at Feng Xin's shirt with an urgency he's never felt before. Feng Xin doesn't hesitate to wrap his arms around Mu Qing and pull him close, cradling him with a hand on the back of his neck.

"I'm here," he says into Mu Qing's ear and Mu Qing sobs again, shaking apart in Feng Xin's arms whether he wants to or not.

"I have you."

And—for the first time in Mu Qing's life—he's never been more relieved to have been had.