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raticalshoez · 3 months ago
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i'm having hyperfixation drought so i did what i did best and created a crossover episode
#trafficblr#life series#hermitcraft#qsmp#the drought's been crazy i had to make qsmp x life series/hermitcraft you don't understand i literally had to#i literally cannot tag all of the cubitos without going over the limit so i'm gonna use them to rant about these doodles instead#when i tell you that i think dl!pearl would've loved tilín i'm telling you i think she would've LOVED them like.#something about just wanting to find love at every turn but feeling unwanted spdihgpisadhfpa. and also tilín's name is similar to tilly LOL#the jelly egg is just like if the double life jelly pandas were just an egg that scar loves with all his heart and grian reluctantly accept#i think out of all the duos in qsmp. the one i would want to see in the dl soumate premise the most is slimeriana. it's the dysfunctionalit#i made a post in the past about pac and tango being my fav cubitos bcs they were both crazy cartoonish and like scientists#but it kinda felt like a disservice to leave mike and zedaph out because to me they're argubly crazier and more cartoonish#missa and tim are paired bcs i just really wanted an excuse to draw the wet cats and it just so happened they both have relations to death#skizz and jaiden as the lawyers who were SHOCKINGLY good at their jobs like they cooked with that one#(was also gonna draw joe and roier as bad lawyers but i was running outta steam)#someone's already made a post about grian and (el) quackity and their eye entities so not much elaboration needed there#fit and etho just give the same vibe to be as a dude who has a reputation and is well-known and seems intimidating#i also made fit's arms way too skinny and i don't like it...but i'm not gonna go back and change it now i spent embarassingly long on this#but then his silliness is brought out by The Narrative#foolish and bdubs is one of my favorite drawings because i just knew i wanted to highlight the silly height difference#just realized they're also both god-like figures at least at some point#cellbit and rendog. cat and dog and lore. enough said about their connection.#i couldn't decide who fit etoiles combat hungry anime protagonist vibe best bcs martyn was originally paired with him#but i wanted martyn with phil so i went with my second options: joel and gem#i couldn't draw them mid rage but essentially the title is derived from “WHO KILLED EMPANADA” and “do me a favor. die for me.”#philza minecraft and martyn inthelittlewood. they feel like twins but one is evil (it's martyn)#SOMETHING I FORGOT THAT I WISH I ADDED: BBH AND BIGB AS THE ENTITIES WHO LIE. I HATE MYSELF HOW COULD I FORGET THAT#if i were to pair impulse with someone it would be tubbo? either him or scar would've been with tubbo#and then lizzie i just did not know who i wanted to pair her with. no one really does it like her in my opinion#scott's someone i also had no idea who to put him with he's just so...him...
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new-revenant · 7 months ago
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During patrol Nightwing found a handmade doll that resembled his hero persona, this wouldn't be so weird if it weren't for the fact that he finds dolls resembling the other members of the batfam's hero personas scattered in odd spots throughout Gotham and Bludhaven. The weirdest thing happens when one night he finds a doll of someone he doesn't recognize. It's a pale teen with white hair and bright green button eyes wearing what looks like a black and white hazmat suit. Nightwing picks it up and the doll immediately bursts into Lazarus green flames. Nightwing finally decided to tell the fam about the dolls not knowing that Phantom, who was sealed in a sarcophagus by treacherous observents several years prior, was now awake. The problem is that the sarcophagus is in the batcave as a trophy, needless to say everyone was surprised when the lid suddenly blew off and out stepped a teenager. Danny is a mix of anger and confusion because this definitely isn't Amity Park
You know. This is almost the exact plot of another, non-dp-related-AU I’ve seen. It’s @/ovegakart doll AU, it’s an AU of Linked Universe, which is itself a LoZ AU where a bunch of Links have come together across time because reasons I won’t get into. In the second ever LoZ game, Adventure of Link, there are these dolls that are scattered across the map. They give you an extra life. So, in ovegakart’s AU, the Link from the first game and AoL(it the same link)finds dolls of himself and the other Links while in his own time. Then, in a well, he finds a doll of a Link none of them have ever seen before. He picks it up and it bursts into flames. I checked, that’s what happened, here is a link to the page. Oh, and Nightwing not telling his family about the dolls until he gets Danny’s? The same thing happened in this AU, where AoL Link doesn’t tell the other Links about the dolls until he comes across the mysterious Link doll. That mystery Link is the First Hero btw, he’s from the Skyward Sword manga.
I would’ve liked it if you, I dunno, credited the idea? Or at least make it not so obvious by changing the doll into something else? Or make it so that Nightwing only finds a Danny doll? Maybe have it melt into ectoplasm even? I have a couple posts already about how I’m a LU fan on here, and if you’ve seen that before, then did you think I didn’t follow ovegakart, one of the biggest LU/LoZ creators? Listen, I’m not mad at you, I’m just confused at your thought process here. This AU idea wasn’t made for dpxdc, it doesn’t even make much sense for it. Yeah yeah, people can do whatever they want, whatever, but at least credit it my god. Or change it up to suit dpxdc more, or both.
How many other people have just taken AU ideas from others and pawned it off as their own, thinking that no one would find out since they’re from another fandom? It makes me feel gross. Please, just credit the idea. If I just posted this with some writing adding onto this, not knowing about this idea coming from another fandom and another person. I think I might need to close my asks for a bit, I don’t feel great, sorry.
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kazoosandfannypacks · 21 days ago
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This holiday season, I am BEGGING you guys to be aware of and kind to the guests at your house who are afraid of /uncomfortable around / allergic to animals.
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eyeballs-in-my-head · 2 months ago
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How do you think MK would react to finding out the truth about how Macaque died?
Knowing that he's wielding the exact same weapon? Do you think he'd feel how actually cold it is in his hands from then on? It's always cool, but after knowing, would he feel a different kind of frigid than before?
Or in quiet moments when he's alone he'd sit thinking and his eyes would unconsciously search for any history of that battle? Gold cannot rust, so it'd be easy to spot.
Also, since we're at this topic. Imagine if Wukong initially hasn't cleaned the staff for...well, gods know how long, because he thought "that's the only thing left of him". And, well, he didn't want to get rid of..."him"
On today's episode of: I'm Sad So I Need To Make Everyone Else Sad Too So We Can Suffer Together <3
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rainboneish · 3 months ago
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i see some people on tiktok and twitter acting like gojo not getting memorialized is the only logical conclusion to his arc to either
1) symbolize how no one really understood him and/or could reach him or
2) he shouldn’t be an exception and no other sorcerer got a funeral/memorial either, that’s just how sorcerer society is
and while i firmly believe there is no objectively correct way to end a story, the attitude some of those fans are showing trying to act like everyone who wanted something different is less media literate than they are is annoying me so time to bring up reasonable counters to those arguments:
on 1): complete understanding isn’t a prerequisite for affection and/or grief. Multiple characters (Yuji, Yuta and Shoko at the very least) are shown to have some amount of care for him and them wanting to lay his body to rest, or at least offhandedly mentioning that it was done does not contradict their lack of complete understanding of him in any way. Yuji himself says that he will never forget Gojo (Yuji is also arguably the only character really given closure about Gojo’s death in the story through that flashback (with the exception of Satoru Gojo (hehe see what i did there) and the other deceased characters in 236)
In fact, one could argue that them not fully understanding that Gojo wanted everyone to move on from him and “forget” him would have been reinforced by them grieving him
(I don’t personally think that them processing his loss in a healthy way (read, all the studies about how funerary rites are important to a healthy grieving process) would be contradictory to his wish but since people want to argue that that’s why it was done i think it’s fair to bring up the counter)
on 2) this could easily be solved by having the characters honor all of the recently deceased. (Nanami, Yuki, Choso (what better way to mark him accepting his human side like Yuki told him to)) People keep bringing up how none of the sorcerers got a funeral (as well as Todo’s speech in Shibuya about how they live in through their comrades) and while that is correct (in fact, Todo’s speech represents the whole reason why the last couple chapters are named after Gojo’s dream of a reformed jujutsu society, a dream that his students are now carrying out for him, one of the main issues with traditional jujutsu society (and consequently one of the reasons that lead do Geto’s defection and the formation of Gojo’s dream) is the fact that sorcerer lives are treated as expendable, the fact that sorcerers aren’t given the time and support they need to process the trauma they are put through on their missions.
Part of letting the kids experience their youth is also giving them healthy coping mechanisms and while i am not someone who believes that every character needs a “therapy” ending (hence why i’ve been yelling about not wanting Gojo (who is satisfied with his own death and afterlife) to come back to life to un-learn all of his unhealthy coping mechanisms and his (partially self imposed) isolation as the strongest) i do think getting time to acknowledge and process their losses is part of that.
(Looking at Megumi especially, he might have kept distance between himself and Gojo, and fanon portrayal of their relationship often makes it deeper than it is in canon, but Gojo was still the most consistent adult mentor figure he had in his life, and he experienced Sukuna killing him with his body, a letter isn’t gonna cut it i’m afraid… Megumi’s character arc in general is one people are criticizing and i do to some degree agree that while him freeing himself from Tsumiki specifically being his sole motivation is something, him immediately finding new people (Yuji and Hana, the latter for guilt reasons) to base his reason for living on is a bit… but that’s part of characters not needing to have a perfect therapy ending i guess…
people like to bring up that Nanami, who has been dead for a while now, was also never shown getting a funeral but characters were shown processing his death once the fight was over, both through the conversation between Gojo, Shoko and Ijichi and through Ino requesting and using his weapon in the fight against Sukuna. Yaga’s death was also discussed between Gojo and Gakuganji (changing his conservative outlook) as well as as a motivator for Kusakabe
While Yuji was definitely shown processing Gojo’s death (in chapter 265 and 271) the characters i personally would have liked to see processing/commenting on Gojo’s death the most are Yuta and Shoko,
Yuta for “i will share the mantle of becoming a Monster to take some of the load of Gojo-sensei” reasons (all this talk about how concerned everyone was about what it would mean for his humanity to have to take over Gojo’s body and then we don’t get a single panel about how he actually felt about it after the fact)
and Shoko because we get all these glimpses of her caring about him in her own way (most notably the “i was there too, wasn’t i” moment as well as her stress smoking during his fight against Sukuna, and in a way still being his closest and oldest confidant, even if they never connected the way he did with geto (hence why he felt comfortable leaving the letters for Nobara and Megumi to her, as well as being the reason why he was a little miffed at her lack of reaction to the body-switching plan). Shoko isn’t an emotional character, she is very desensitized to the death and injury of people around her, but the scene by Tsumiki’s grave and her comment about Geto’s body confirms that she (to some degree) considers it an honor and a privilege to be able to give them post-mortem care. I never wanted a scene of her crying over his body or anything, but a scene of her standing by his grave (which could have been inserted between the Tsumiki grave scene and the panel of her throwing away her cigarettes) would have done enough for me.
People like to make fun of everyone asking for a funeral by saying “sorry y’all didn’t get a ten page funeral with everyone crying about Gojo”, but personally i would have been happy with a single panel showing his grave/ossuary with an epitaph (possibly the same for Geto so we finally get confirmation that Gojo’s (and the Hasaba twins’) wish of having his body put to rest was fulfilled, especially after those panels in 270 sowed more doubts), maybe a couple extra panels of the characters i mentioned earlier
also not to be extra brain rotten stsg but Gojo being put to rest in a way where he is with suguru (Shoko being the person most likely to make those arrangements for both of them and also being the person who knew how much they meant to eachother the best) or him being memorialized together with everyone else who fell in those past couple months would symbolize that while he might have been lonely in life, he is not lonely in death (just like he wasn’t lonely anymore in the airport scene in 236)
what i haven’t seen people bring up much is that sorcerers as a whole are said not to be religious. Despite the heavy buddhist themes in the story, sorcerer society as a whole is described as secular, something pointed out by the chairman of the star religious group. On the world building front i think it would have been interesting to know how they process their dead, past the general vague description of “shoko handling bodies” and “having to make sure the body can’t be misused/the sorcerer won’t turn into a curse after death”. Maybe that’s my little goth heart but i really would have liked to know, we see people end up in the morgue but no one really knows what happens after that. Maybe everyone (whose body can be recovered) is cremated and disposed of in some unknown location (Greek cemeteries have “bone digesters”, big pits where bones are put if the family doesn’t rent an ossuary/claim the remains after the lease on the grave plot is up, maybe it’s something like that), maybe there are ossuaries like the one pictured in the Shibuya OP (it’s still unclear to me how much input Gege had in those), maybe the cremated remains are given back to the family on a case by case basis (especially for people from non-sorcerer families who might have religious beliefs). Either way, it’s something i think would have been interesting to know, plus lack of big funerary rites doesn’t really mean the characters can’t think of/mention their deceased comrades.
now i’m not saying everyone who has a different opinion on this is wrong, again, that’s not the approach i like to bring to media analysis/commentary, in fact this whole rant is prompted by my distaste for people doing that, but that is what i personally would have liked to see to call this a 10/10 ending for ME
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msmoon-and-the-cyberdemon · 3 months ago
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The End
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Start
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uncanny-tranny · 1 year ago
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The most infuriating form of sanism is this idea that mentally ill people/people with mental disorders are just too stupid or too unenlightened to know how to be a proper, well-adjusted person
So many therapists have ignored signs of my unwellness simply because they assumed I was just... being stupid, and I just needed educating about why I'm acting disordered (apparently, mental disorders stop disordering you once you are condescendingly told why you're just disordered and dumb, who knew (sarcasm)).
Like, I could tell them that I knew my behaviour wasn't "rational," wasn't "reasonable" to do or believe and I'd still be treated like I was so dumb I needed hand-holding and scolding about why I'm acting disordered.
I truly wish that people would be able to take the idea of guidance and stop twisting it into "I am superior and enlightened and the people I am trying to help are stupid and wrong and beneath me!"
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fear-no-mort · 4 months ago
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thinkign about how alone and unloved morty was for all his life and rick was the first time anyobdy ever put such an amount of intense attention and dependency onto him . and rick had a whole new family and losing them made him stop seeing the value in other people as a whole and morty was the one and first thing that woke him up
#really long Tag rant down there#one of the most Things Ever about them to me is how morty barely even understands just how much rick loves him. more than anything#and its something ricks done on purpose hes made sure of it#because hes so weak he cant handle it#them being together is agony in avsolutely every way and sense but also theyre the best part of eachothers lives#morty because nobodys payed attention to him quite like rick has and all the exciting space adventures and rick just cause. he literally#just likes him thats it. and he never knew it#also i was thinking of this earlier. one of the reasons season 1 is soooo good to me is cuz you get to see morty grow on rick in real time#stuff like that moment where morty walks through the door and rick is instantly at the sight of him SUPER excited and he goes hey!!! but#then he clears his throat and goes Hey trying to pretend like this dumb scaredy kid isnt becoming his favourite thing hes ever known day af#er day#and goddamn night shaym aliens. in that moment where he realised morty had been fake the whole time i rlly wonder what he was thinking and#how he felt. like. oh man this is messing with me way too much this is Bad#and then he got drunk over it and yknow. that . is it post credits. i think. that scene#n literally At the Very beginning he was tired n drunk n stupid thinking like man fuck this im gonna blow this place up and do what prime#did to me. But he brought morty with him Even just at that point it flashed in his mind and he absolutely could not bear to let morty die#Breathes in#im rewatching in October bc anniversary month. i literally can’t wait im so actually impatient i considered just doing it today So hard#odiespeak
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mister-qi · 9 months ago
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Kind reminder not to harass creators for their work. If you disagree with someone’s art or a fandom trend, instead consider spreading positivity for what you’d prefer instead.
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riiviir · 2 months ago
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hey guys so I just started reading Flatland by Edwin A. Abbott and OMG AHSBNSBSBSNSNBSHZHSHDBFHGGHFHGRJ2KSHSBSNSK AAAAAAAAAAAAAAA I LOVE THINKING ABOUT THE RELATIVITY BETWEEN DIMENSIONS!!!!!!
#probably the nerdiest thing i will ever read in my entire life but I AM SO HAPPY#Its the unabridged and corrected 1992 republication btw. if you wanna get specific#the only book in which i have actually decided to read the introductory notes and i do NOT regret it because the editor's one IMMEDIATELY#brought up the “oh but surely the second dimension has thickness how else would flatlanders see anything” AND GAVE A REALLY GOOD ANSWER.#which i cannot tell you here. bc it is several paragraphs long and idk how i would shorten it. i would hit tag limit. if thats a thing.#anyways. I'm only a little bit into the first part which basically explains how Flatland works as a society so i haven't even gotten to the#sphere yet but OH MAN I HAVE NEVER BEEN SO EXCITED ABOUT A ROUND OBJECT IN MY LIFE#IM LOSING IT OVER THIS BOOK AAAA :D#me: im so glad i dont have a math class during my senior year! now i dont have to learn anything math-related!#also me: but what if i started studying a complex and almost entirely theoretical part of geometry#bc YEAH i didn't just buy this book bc of gravity falls. I BOUGHT IT BC IVE BEEN RESEARCHING THE 4TH DIMENSION WOOOOOOO!!!!!#one thing i will say i dont like. introductory note suggests the the 4th dimension might be time. this is ok tho bc its followed up with#also saying that time is not a spatial dimension and exist across the 0 1st 2nd and 3rd dimensions which. that epuld mean we live in 4d#already. so. i was worried for a second but THANK YOU THANK YOU OH MY GOD PEOPLE TRYING TO SAY “OH THE 4TH DIMENSION IS TIME” I HATE THAT SO#MUCH AAAAGGHHHH AT LEAST RECOGNIZE ITS NOT SPATIAL!!! TIME IS NOT A SPATIAL DIMENSION!!!!!!! IF IT WAS THEN 4D TRAVEL AND TIME TRAVEL WPULD#BE FHE SAME THING AND DO YOU KNOW HOW MANY MUCH COOLER POSSIBILITIES WPULD BE THROWN AWAY IF THAT WAS THAT CASE!!!!! AND. AND. IF THE 4TH#DIMENSION IS TIME. THEN WHATS THE 5TH?? 6TH?? YPU CANT KEEP GOINF ON FOREVER LIKE THAT. YPURE JUST MAKEING MORE 3D WORLSS WITH STUFF IN#ADDITION TO TIME. INTERESTING BUT THAY IS NOT ABOHT HIGHRER DIEMSBSJSNSBAKAJSHDHDHHDHDHDJ#sorry for the rant. jsut. agh i want a spatial 4th dimension. i dont think tesseracts exist through time that would just be an aged cube#anyways yeahhh i love the 4th dimension. new hyperfixation or new special interest? ill have to wait and see. anyways i have done it i have#an oc whos 4 dimensional now and she is the coolest ever i love her#but yeah this book is sosososo good i am literally gonna bring it to school to read instead of draw bc i would lose it if i didn't#10/10 would recommend to anyone who wants to Think
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hyohaehyuk · 1 month ago
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IWTV awards nominations is why i have more than half of this fandom blocked on tw (and tho i didnt check here yet maybe i will eventually have a lot too bc i heard tumblr is more of the same as tw).
Really sad that Jacob, Delainey, Assad and Eric didn't get nominated but really annoying seeing people getting mad that Sam is when we should be happy bc it means the show is starting to get known/popular so if IWTV and/or Sam win smth is a good sign. But then again this would be the best chance Jacob and Delainey would had to win smth bc we dont know how things will be after season 3. I still think that those 3 will be the main leads so they definitely will still be pushed to awards. The only difference is that now Sam will be pushed as the lead actor & Jacob as the supporting lead (which maybe just like Sam he will have + chances there to win than as a lead actor)
Anyway, i was praying that Jacob stans would be better than ***** stans & wouldn't send hate to Sam bc is not his fault that CCA snubbed Jacob. Besides Jacob wouldnt be happy if he knew his bestie is being attacked by his own fandom. Once again the only sane side of the fandom is on reddit🤦 We can acknowledged there's a racism element that played on why they didn't get nominated but i also noticed people also dont wanna acknowledged that many like to use the racism card to freely hate on white people even when they didnt do anything. This is solely the CCA' judges fault. They probably didnt even bother to watch IWTV and just watched the most rated ep of S2 which i heard is the one that have more Lestat on it.
In conclusion, people getting sad or even mad that jacob did not get nominated is totally justificable. Where many of you are wrong is bringing up other actors' names in the same discurse as if they didnt deserve to get nominated bc they are white and "only appeared for like 5 minutes" as they use as an excuse to justify why Sam shouldn't be nominated. Everyone in this cast deserved to be nominated and even win.
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causenessus · 7 months ago
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locked in so hard...I outlined two chapters...but wait, it gets worse. I was so locked in my outline is 20 pages long already...and I only have three chapters....the power of a silly drink and three hours at the library
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numberonepartyboy · 1 year ago
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it kind of weirds me out when two people who abused lloyd (morro and harumi) are getting more recognized/hc'ed and addressed as his family than the actual one (ninjas, wu or HIS PARENTS). it's okay to make au where they didn't abuse lloyd or whatever but then you just write a new character.
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tanicus-caesareth · 8 months ago
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guarana drama, damage control
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orchidyoonkook · 1 year ago
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Personal
Hi.
How did you get over your quarter life crisis?
Because I’m trying not to fall into the vast unyielding void. And I’m failing hilariously.
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sophieswundergarten · 1 year ago
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The Washingtons. You know?
Imagine finding out that your kid is extraordinarily gifted, and having no idea what to do with that. Wanting him to be challenged and learn and have all the opportunities that maybe you yourself didn't have.
You're elated that your child has found something he loves and excels at, and a little unsure of how to raise him. After all, you've never seen this kind of genius before, how are you supposed to support it? None of the other families you know, not your parents, or coworkers, or neighbors from down the street have ever seen anything like this. They're all astounded.
And when you ask other people what they think or what you should do, seeking advice the way any parent would, you receive jealousy. Thinly veiled in people who praise your still very young son with cruel, covetous words, and open in those who accuse you of harboring some secret, asking why he is so gifted when their own children are not.
You're scared, and you're utterly alone in trying to raise this boy who meant more to you than life itself, even before he spoke a single word. You're scrambling to find anyone, any resource, that can advise you, and in all the chaos, you make a fatal mistake.
It's not intentional, and it's certainly not malicious. But in the whirlwind of confusion and panic and the ever-present suffocating notion of "You're his parents, you need to raise him right, anything you do now could have devastating consequences in the future", you fall back on the long-held and entirely false belief that a smart child is capable enough to raise themselves.
Just because your boy can recite the entire periodic table forwards and backwards at age six doesn't mean he has the ability to look out for himself. Just because he can orate like a professor when he's eight doesn't mean he knows how to be a miniature adult.
Before you know it, the idea comes into your head to enter him in a competition. It's not a big deal, but the pressure from all those people you told in your initial befuddled excitement, not to mention the idea of winning money and prizes that would otherwise be quite hard to attain, is more than enough to turn your head.
Of course, he wins. And, of course, you're elated. You've finally found something that challenges him, and each competition is an investment in his future. Suddenly, colleges and internships and whole career fields that would never have been available to someone coming from such an average family are at his fingertips. It seems you've hit on a perfect solution.
But, the pressure keeps growing. The jealousy and envy and resentment from those around you, even parents of other quiz competitors, who you hoped might finally understand what it was like to be responsible for such a gifted child, has reached exponential rates. And your son hasn't missed a beat.
He keeps winning and winning and winning and your mind is so dazzled by possibilities that you don't even consider the creeping anxiety that has already made a home in your mind.
He stumbles, once, and recovers, answering the question correctly, as always, but in that moment you realised. Something is wrong. The world is going wrong, the government is failing, the banks might be next. Once your son had won so much money that you were certain to be financially stable for at least the better part of a year, you took a break from work to support him.
But was that the right decision?
There's something coming on the horizon, and the slightest mistake now could lead to destitution in the future. He can't risk a mistake. You can't risk that.
So you keep pushing him. You're more than confident he has the knowledge and skills to win and keep winning, but he doesn't have any confidence. Maybe if he keeps practicing, he'll realise how good he is. Your career has been put on hold to become what is essentially a campaign manager and PR liaison, and still the kid is growing.
He's barely challenged by the informational portion of the quizzes anymore, and that scares you. This is the only solution you could find, and now too quick it has become obsolete. You desperately want what is best for him, but you also know that when catastrophe strikes you need to be prepared, so you keep pushing him.
You don't want to explain potential financial worries to a child, especially when he's so anxious about everything anyways, but the anger comes out regardless. You begin to see that you really don't know him anymore.
When he was younger, if you had been angry or he had been scared, you knew what to do. Making cookies together, doing a puzzle, reading a book, any of these activities were common enough apologies for a lost temper.
But now. You hardly recognise this boy who stands on stage before you.
And then, just as you barely start to see it, he's gone.
You almost don't notice for a day, and that's what terrifies you. You'd become so used to him studying and hiding away and even skipping meals on occasion to read and practice and be better, that it takes hours for you to realise he isn't in the house.
You can't find him. No one's seen him, and it is with dawning horror that you suddenly see that you don't know your own son well enough to guess where he might have run to.
The police are no help, and you can't stop yourself from bitter thoughts about how he's probably smarter than all of them put together (Or thoughts that are quickly smothered out about how he probably isn't going to be found unless he wants to be)
And then, the first donation comes.
It's thrilling. It's exhilarating for a moment to have that peace of mind that being rich gives you, even if it's short lived. Now you can search for him without worrying about losing what you already have. Things will be more or less the same when he comes back, with the big house and all the books and the fancy stuff filling each room.
It's such a nice feeling that for a second, you don't catch what you are doing. You don't see how this is the same feeling you chased in the quizzes. The horrible ouroboros of seeking riches only to be forced to spend them in the quest to amass more. The irrational way your mind has been slowly poisoned against what truly matters to you.
And then you are ashamed.
In the blink of an eye, you see all that you have done to your child. Everything you took away from him (And every moment that you yourself lost), all this time he should have spent growing up and learning to be who he wanted to be, and you had forced him into a mold.
Setting him up in a hypercritical and excessively competitive environment in the false hope that being around like-minded children would finally bring him a friend who understood him, when in reality it only isolated him further.
You see that you have become exactly like all those jealous people who looked at your son with a greedy covetousness instead of seeing him for who he was: a child.
This is when you decide that he's probably better off away from the awful mistakes you've made. You can't bring yourself to look for him anymore, not when he might finally be happy, away from you. You sit in your big, empty house, with rooms filled to the brim with things that you don't even remember owning. There are no signs a child lived here. No art on the walls, no homework on the fridge, no toys or clumsily made crafts. You realise that you've been living without him for quite some time.
It takes a little while, but then comes the day when all of that grief and despair and fear for this boy who you once loved so desperately (And still do, you just forgot how to show it) is too much. And you start searching.
Wildly. Recklessly. Against all advice from everyone who knows you, from everyone warning of the impending doom looming over everything, you search. You waste no time draining your bank account, selling your big, empty house, and taking out loans. Most of the prizes from past quiz shows have done nothing but sit around and collect dust, yet you are hesitant to pawn them. Some part of your mind wonders if they might have been important to him, and you were just too blind to see.
In the end, every possible possession of yours that can be exchanged to pay for more private investigators and detectives is gone.
And this brings you to a rambling old house, in a small seaside city.
It takes a while to drive there, but you do, keeping on all through the night and only stopping to sleep a few hours on the side of the road when exhaustion threatens to overtake you.
Right about the time you reach this "Stonetown", you feel something in your mind clear. You aren't quite sure what it is, as sick with worry as you currently are, but there is definitely a difference.
You disregard it as you hurry to the house of this enigmatic "Mr. Benedict", hoping against hope that he might have some clue, some scrap of a sign that your son is safe. You've long ago made peace with the fact that he might never want to see you again, but you couldn't rest until you were sure that, wherever he was, he was safe.
Standing outside the gate, you look up at the house, you can't help but think this would make a good home for your son. You hope he's happy here (If he is here)
You think about all that has happened in the past few years. You think that, were you to do it over again, you would do without the big house and the cash prizes. The fame and the fast car. It didn't do you any good anyway. A small house, next to a good library full of all the books your son could read. That would be enough. If only you had known what heartache your mistakes would cause.
You knock on the door
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