#this style ohh im eating it

[dangerliesbeforeyou]

ok soim gonna ramble about the wedding in the tags cos this is my diary lol kitty dont read this (she's not been on tumblr in ages it should b fine pfft)

[makeyoumine69]

is this where i ask you things? if not imma be embarrassed.

but anyway! ik it’s such an overused plot but im obsessed w it so can i request blowing PB under his desk? 🤗

and then someone comes in like one of his coworkers and the whole time we’re under his desk (first time requesting anything btw 🙌)

Insatiable

PAIRING: Patrick Bateman x gn!Reader

CW: Smut, oral sex, deepthroat, anal fingering, cum eating, handjobs, dirty talk, pet names, established relationship, needy Patrick, overstimulation, teasing.

WORDS: ~1.2k

LINKS: [Masterlist], [AO3], [Wattpad].

A/N: Hiii! Thank you for sending me this request, I hope you enjoy it!💞

Insatiable.

This man was insatiable when it came to anything related to you because he was obsessed and it hurt him so much—his ego was bruised every time he had to call you and ask you to come to his office because he was about to cry from how much he needed you.

Right now, right here.

Under his desk, on your knees, your hands wrapped around his wide-open legs as your wet tongue flicked mercilessly around his red, leaking tip, causing him to desperately buck his hips toward your face, but you kept him at a distance, not wanting him to cum so soon.

No, you were just getting started.

"Oh, fuck," Patrick literally squirmed in his leather seat, his cheeks flushed, his perfectly styled hair now such a mess. "Faster, g-go…faster-ah-," his voice wavered as you gave his balls a tantalizing squeeze and licked his thick pre-cum from your own hand. "God…you're such a tease…kitten."

"Well, you've waited a long time for this," you replied mockingly, lapping at his tensed sac, only to hear him moan from the searing lust at his very core. "What's the point of rushing things… hmm?"

Grinning like a vixen, you stroked him deliberately, feeling his hot flesh throbbing in your hand, Bateman was so desperate for more and that only made things more appealing as you wanted to watch him fall apart, your eager mouth taking his dick deeper with a wet slurping sound.

A throaty moan fell from his half-open mouth—Patrick grabbed a handful of your hair and pulled you closer, piercing your mouth like a fucking sword, your nose brushing against his pubic hair and you almost gagged, but he pretended not to notice.

"Holy s-shit," he spread his legs wider, fingers tangled deep in your messy hair. "You… you're so fucking good for me," the man closed his eyes and sprawled back in his seat, one hand gripping the armrest until his knuckles turned white. "So…fucking…good…"

Subtly, you seized the moment to trace your forefinger a little lower down his balls to tease his tight, puckered hole, causing his already rapid breathing to quicken. "Mmm…" you murmured around his drooling cock, feeling your throat burn from the impact he had done a moment ago, but the sight behind your eyes made you forget any pain, any discomfort. All you could think about was him and his laboring body about to explode in a vivid orgasm. "You like it so much when I touch you like this?" You asked, batting your eyelashes so innocently as if you were not playing with his asshole and making his legs shake visibly. "I want you to cum for me, baby," you teased him, lavishing little pecks on his perfect abs as both your hands worked to bring him to his climax. "Will you do it for me?"

Slowly, almost agonizingly, you resumed sucking on his hot, swollen head, noticing small pulsations coursing through his cock and you couldn't stop yourself from drawing a wet line along one of the veins throbbing back at your contact.

"I'm so close," Bateman managed to mutter. "So f-f-fucking-close," he looked down at you, his eyes hazy and slightly unfocused as he teetered on the brink of combustion. "Ohh-Christ…your mouth…mmm-my dick looks so good in…your mouth…"

A strong, almost violent shiver ran through his massive form as he arched his back, head tilted back, his overstimulated dick began to pulsate in your mouth, and then you stopped breathing for a moment, drinking in his warm, dense spurts of cum. For a second, you thought he'd never stop pumping your throat, but when the last muffled wail erupted from his heavily rising chest, you knew he was finally spent. Totally spent and satisfied. At least you hoped so.

"Good boy." You smirked and cleaned his seed from your fingers, your lips, your chin. Then you patted his legs, still wide open and shaking a little. "Next time I offer to help you with your morning wood, don't be stubborn so I don't have to come here and…"

A barely audible click of the door caught you both off guard and before you could react, Jean stepped into the office, her blonde hair shining in the daylight.

"Patrick," she said in a soft timbre, her embarrassment obvious and strong. "Your mother called and… I told her you were busy, but… she insisted that you call her back."

All the time Jean was talking, Patrick was forcing your head down, holding you there to keep you under the desk. At one point you even wanted to struggle back because your neck hurt from being restrained in such a position, but then you decided that it would be much worse to be exposed, so you had to endure anyway.

"Thank you, Jean," Bateman paused, licking his dry lips and brushing the sweat from his forehead. "I'll definitely give her a call," a nervous, almost maniacal smile spread across his face, his jaw aching from the tension. "You can go…for now."

With a shy nod, Jean turned around and her hand almost opened the door again, but then she stopped. "Are you… okay, Patrick?"

Her question hung in the air, you had to close your mouth to prevent any sounds from coming out as complete silence fell over the room. Anxiety struck you at the most inconvenient moment, you raised your concerned gaze to Patrick, but all he did was pull your head even lower, causing you to pinch the inside of his thigh quite painfully. But he withstood it, his face devoid of any emotion.

"Yeah, I'm fine, don't worry," he babbled, his free hand trying to adjust his pants as discreetly as possible. "Today is pretty hot."

God, you almost wheezed.

"Shall I open the window?" Jean asked, graciously willing to help.

"No!" His voice suddenly cracked. "Don't worry…I can do it."

Confused, the woman surveyed the office one last time before she left, and God only knew what thoughts were running through her head. As the door closed with a soft clatter, Bateman let go of you and you instantly slapped his leg.

"Idiot!" you almost hit the desk with the top of your head, but you didn't care because you were on your way to get up. "I should never have come here, I-"

With a practiced move, Patrick grabbed you and pulled you against him, almost making you mount him, but you were stuck somewhere in the middle between him and the desk, his mouth cutting you off in the most lewd way possible as he kissed you hard, desperately, tasting himself on your lips.

Insatiable.

Because of you.

P.S. Thank you for reading until the end! I don’t have a taglist. You can follow my writing community to know when I update!💞

[mknae-jongho]

Massage

Masterlist!

Reader x hard dom! Seonghwa

Smut | MDNI

| 1.3k words |

you've been suffering from lower back & thigh pain but your Husband knows exactly how to make you feel better

very gentle and hard dom!hwa, married relationship, daddy kink, pet names (babygirl, angel), making out, oral (f), fingering (f), praising, edging, pussy eating, dacryphilia, sweet after care

Disclaimer: NOT sexualizing any members, this is for entertainment purposes only‼️‼️ Im new to this so pls let me know if you enjoy it 😉

You hear a knock on your bedroom door. you look up in pain and see your sweet husband seonghwa shirtless and grey sweatpants. You bit your lip softly as you looked down to his hardcore abs.

“you okay baby, where are you hurting at??” he asked you with a smirk

“My lower back and my thigh” you sigh in pain

The night before your back pain, you and seonghwa had a long and rough night which lead you to the situation your in now.

You saw your husband walk towards you to the dresser that’s beside your bed and pull out body oil. He got on the bed and told you to remove your clothes. You got out the bed slowly with a limp and removed your clothes like he told you too.

“ Beautiful” seonghwa said quietly while trying to hide his boner but you noticed it and smiled.

You slowly got back in bed & he told you to lay on your stomach.

“lay on your stomach for me love.” he said softy & you listened.

You felt him move on top of you as he put oil on his hand and rubbed your back softly.

“mhh” you moaned softly

“oh my gosh seonghwa feels so good” you moaned again

“feels good??” your hubby asked with a smirk on his face

“YESS” moaned loudly as you felt him move up your shoulders with his thumb going in a circular motion.

“Ahh shit da- baby” you tried to cut yourself off but seonghwa noticed.

You felt him lean down a little til you felt his boner on your thigh as he whispered into your ear.

“daddy’s making you feel good?” he asked as you felt his hand goin lower and lower til he begins rubbing you butt with a smirk on his face that you couldn’t see.

You moaned “yess.”

He slowly went down to massaged your thigh til you felt him slowly move to your pussy and rubbed your clit. you put your head in the covers to quiet down yours moans. he pulled your head up by blue hair ( you’re hair is dyed).

“ let me hear you beautiful moans” he said before he flip you over onto you back to see your face.

He spread your legs wider and made contact with your pussy just to see it drippin wet.

“fuck, your so wet already & daddy barely did anything.” he said before slipping two fingers into you.

You moaned loudly as he began kissing your neck leaving dark purple marks.

He started moving his fingers faster into you as you get louder. “daddy i need you now. i want your dick in me.”

He started kissing you harshly and fingering you faster and harder as you opened your mouth a silent moans came out and he took it as a sign to slip his tongue inside leaving a sloppy make-out. “patience sweetie, i’m just getting started.”

He then kissed down your body to your chest, your breast, you belly and licked your belly piercing all the way down to your pussy eating you out harshly.

sucking on your clit while fingering you hard you moaned loudly and grabbed onto his blond locs. you gripped hardly trying to pull him off. “ wait hwa- too much.”

He grabbed your wrist pinning your hands down on your belly.

“do you want a punishment?” he said looking up at you.

“im sor- ohh my gosh hwa!!” he thrusts into you hard and deep. when did he get undressed.

“fuck y/n. so tight ahh.” your moans mixed with his sounded amazing to him.

“mmh shii- FUCK hwa!!” your legs started shaking as you felt yourself dripping down wetting the sheets. He went even deeper when he put your legs on his shoulder.

“i’m gonna cum ahh.” you moaned

he pulled out and stared at you before he flipped you over on soggy style manhandling you, he then rubbed himself on your slit teasing you making you whine.

“daddy please.” you said looking back at him.

“please what babygirl.” he said pulling away from you.

“please fuck me daddy i was so close. Please baby.” you said making a sad face

“ okay angel, only because you asked nicely.” he then push into you slowly still teasing you a little.

“daddy please go fas- Ahh fuck” he started moving at a nunhuman pace knocking the wind out of you.

“ fuck baby, fucked you last night and your still so tight.” he grabbed you by the throat making it hard for you to breathe. he pulled you towards him making your back touch his chest. he began kissing on your neck before pushing you back down pushing your face into the covers.

“i’m close babygirl f-fuck.” you felt his dick twitch inside of you as you felt a coil tighten in your belly letting you know your close.

“i’m close too hwa ahh fuck.” you cried out, he pulled your head back so he can see you and noticed tear running down your face.

“fuck y/n, f-fucking you s-soo good your c-crying mhh.” he bit his lip. after he said that you feel about to explode.

“shit y/n.” he looked down and see you squirting everywhere on his stomach and down both of your legs.

“i’m cumm-ohh.” his lips making the “o” face as you felt his cum milking deep inside of you.

he thrust slowly riding out y’all high. he slowly pulled out and payed beside you.

“you okay angel.” he stared at you with a smile on his face like he didn’t just fucked you up.

“yes i’m okay hwa, even tho i asked for a massage, i’m not complaining tho.”

“haha, i’ll go run us a warm bath with rose petals and candles okay??” he said kissing your lips between each word

“okay, i love you hwa”

“i love you more.” he said with a smile and getting up after leaving you alone

“ahhh.” you said looking at the ceiling smiling thinking about what just happened.

“i love my man.”

THE END!! I hope you guys enjoy, more coming soon. leave a request of who/what you wanna see. Ateez only since it’s an ateez fan acc.💋💕. love yaal byee !

[softspokenspideraaa]

ohh no im already losing it.

hflgsefhfhhLKHGHFhshd he goes on morning walks.. with his sheep... with.. mareep the sheep breaks down sobbing

oh christ he goes on early morning walks all scruffy and bedheaded and he..... he takes deep breaths..... ahghgahgkdf... bc the air is so crisp.. ohhhhhe eats a good breakfast afterwards... n ties a bandana around his head and weeds his little tiny garden he's made... like its really small but omg is he proud of it and proud of himself for growing it oh my god... falls down onto floor...

Inspired by this very cool person's art style (person is very cool, would seriously recommend checking out)

[rdbrainz]

nnoitra is my absolute fave and i adore your art!!! id love to see some kind of dynamic fighting pose of him in your style, but im also curious about any art or headcanons you might have about him if he had experienced the living world somewhat- like what foods would he like, or hobbies, or how would he spend time w others? sorry for the long ask love you bye!!!!

Thanks🤧❤ !!! And ohh that's a good ask! I have like a couple of answers for different turns of events on this one... Might as well also share some of the other ideas I have so it's a lot and even more.

But well if we're talking about regular hollow Nnoitra I think he'd be interested in all kinds of entertainment. Mainly music. He always struck me as a music person tbh especially since I firmly believe he'd be involved with goth subculture in some way or the other. I can see him collecting CDs as a hobby. Considering that my version of Nnoitra absolutely HATES thinking into things too much if they have something to do with his relationships, himself or the hollow existence as a whole I guess doing nothing when he's not asleep is hell for him because there's not much to think about in Hueco Mundo anyway. Maybe background music would give him some peace of mind while he's musing to himself. I mean even if his mind would wander back to these topics AT LEAST it won't be as painful to think about it as doing the same while you're surrounded by silence and lying on a hard surface locked up somewhere in Las Noches so no one would gnaw into your damn throat on your free time.

Him being a melomane/an avid music lover would work in any AU or story. I think he'd love A Perfect Circle. You know... considering the crescent moon and circle patterns and the music theme Kubo chose for him.

If we're talking about a bit worse turn of events where - let's say - he ends up in someone's home in the world of the living after he got his ass handed to him by zaraki, had to flee and now he feels worse than ever... watching TV is his other go-to. He'd be in front of it 24/7. It's stupid, sometimes even curious, sometimes confusing and he can either catch up on things or just complain about something to himself. His mind is occupied with something all the time either way.

I also think hollow Nnoitra would be very sceptical about trying human/shinigami food. It doesn't seem appealing to him, unnatural even. Especially if he has someone to feed off of. I believe that arrancars can work like vampires. Shinigamis are just compressed spiritual power so transfusing reiatsu would have the same effect as actually eating a shinigami. What's the point of choosing between flesh, blood and reiatsu if it's all the same in their case 😭. If he ends up living with a human then. Well. Blood sucking it is I guess lmao. Anyway yeah when it comes to food he's more prone to sticking to his hollow side. Though maybe he'd be tempted to try a soda or two.

If he's human/a shinigami then this guy would eat and/or drink literally anything. Especially if it's sea food, meat or something spicy. I had an AU where he was a captain in Gotei 13 and one of his hobbies was visiting karakura and other cities just to absolutely rob food establishments of their supplies. If a restaraunt has an "all you can eat" offer then it might as well be fucking bankrupt. If a cute cafe has a special Valentine's Day offer where couples only pay half the price then "Well I guess I could give someone a call". Cooking though..? Nope. Can't be bothered enough to cook something for himself.

Someone I know also had suggested once that in this AU he'd have a shit ton of hair products. And well it does make sense.

In a Shinigami Academy AU I had he's much younger and edgier LMAO. Goth enough to care about his appearance and wear makeup but too insecure to not stick out too much. He'd love collecting good cool-looking clothing but would literally bite off his own limbs if he had to wear something skin-tight or god forbid skinny jeans. Him and his toothpick legs could never!! Anyway there he wasn't so wary and disdainful towards other people. Desperate for some affection but sadly too air-headed to care enough. So he was sleeping around a lot just for funsies with Shinji as his partner in crime (sorry). I think that's about all I have on this topic!! Tnx again!

[timmayss321]

I walk into the movies to see the new movie I’m standing in line and and see you in the line just above me when we we’re in high school she was the sexiest girl in all of thr school. And years later she is still super sexy. That ass my gawd the things I’d do to her. I get into thr movie and it’s literally just her and I. Must not have been a very popular movie 😅 I said hey You!? She said Timothy!? And we just started talking from there. We are sitting in the very back corner and she asked me. “What did you think of me in high school “. I said my goodness do you want thr short version? Or the long ? She said we have a hole lame movie to sit threw. Just tell me about it. I said I thought you were the most sexy woman I have ever seen. You have just the best ass in the hole school. She said ohh yeah? Do you still think it’s nice. She’s in a little mini skirt and stands up and bends over. And my gawd I can see her beautiful bold pussy cause she is not using panties or anything at all. I said wow. She said do you like. I was lost for words. Can i touch!!? She goes you can do what ever you want to me. I stand up and I bed her over the seat infront of us. And I start to kiss her ass. Then I move to her pussy as o start to rub her clit with my thumb. And omg is she so wet. I then start to kiss her pussy from behind. Which leads to me eating and sucking on your clit like you have never felt befor. I’m sucking on your clit while i have my pointer finger inside you rubbing on your gspot. Witch you have never had anyone do befor and I could tell by how heavy your breathing has gotten your softly moaning and squirming while im eating your pussy. You can’t sit still. You stand up after cumming and tell me to sit. I sit and you reach down and unbutton my jeans and pull out my cock putting the head in ur mouth and licking my shaft as you play with my balls you then stick the hole head in your mouth sucking on me deep throating me gagging the movie is about to be over and you get up and sit on my cock and my thick cock slowly goes into ur tight pussy you say oh my gawd this is so great as ur bouncing on my cock 25 mins goes by and im hitting it doggy style with yiu bent over the seat infront of us. You turn around as ur cumming I’m cumming too. And you tell me to fill you up so I cum my hot load all in ur wet tight pussy. You then get on your knees and suck the rest of the cum out of my hard cock. You get up and we exchange number she says don’t be a stranger call me.

[cherrywperson]

idk if ur still doing this but uhh the tawog discussion thing... gimme ur thoughts hcs everything abt ocho pls my absolute blorbo

IM STILL GOING WITH IT!!!!! i want my inbox to be flooded /hj (okkay no but srsly i like getting these asks i like tawog anddd i wanna talk a bit abt it cuz im insane)

uhhh anyways anyways ocho!!! gamer guy he wears those silly gamer shirts that say stuff like "i paused my game to be here" etc etc etc

do you think he pirates games sometimes ? like he plays emulators ? maybe . i think he would . lol wouldnt that be silly ?? uhhhh what else uhh ohh alright . libramasculine bisexual demiromantic hes got those he/it/they + videogame related neos pronounces in bio (i hc a lot of tawog characters as trans sorry not sorry <3)

ohh and he might have sleep issues cuz yk gamer 24/7 . he would try calling a friend at like 3 am for whatever reason and get mad at them for not answering idk . . also maybe hes a discord user OMG I JUST HAD THE SILLIEST THOUGHT he could be the "everyone has uno dipshit it came free with your fucking xbox" guy HELPP THATS SO FUNNY

uhhhhhh okkay i think thats it OKKAY WAIT maybe he eats raw pasta like.. idk eats them dry sometimes .......

ohh also also uhhh okkay this might be off topic dont know if you wanna hear this but like . okay im planning on making more gijinka tawog art right? yeah i kinda wanna simulate the artstyle a bit okay maybe not too much just as much as i can yk? so yeah i wanna draw ocho in a pixel art style if do ever do draw them ^__^ just gotta practice that a bit yk yk

okkay does are all of my thoughts gootbye

[aqqleshiqqing-archive]

yeehawa.sb im gonna tlakf bout red because i can ,. ∠( ᐛ 」∠)＿

okok i have the power to create my ideal character for him and im doiig it YEEEEEE

okay i can TOTALLY see red to be... a little snarky and smug, it's what's he's good at, even if he wasn't trying. his words really can just bite hard as he really has nothing good to say, ever. he's calm at times so most are lucky he isn't the type to nag somebody unless they asked for it and ofc would rather be alone most of the time as he's, probably not that trusting of others, though part of him really just wants to have someone next to him

aNd So that's WHEN EMME (throws petals) COMES INNNN and doesn't get intimidated by him at all, she just figured that's just his style of talking but continues to interact with him anyways<3 <3 there's many times where s/i overpowers red and all he does is sit there and take it in, but she's undeniably charming and endearing in that way. she initiates most of their interactions ... when they were strangers, he just ignores her talking (and she still goes on) but after realizing how he feels for her, he loves to hear her talk anytime really. "fills the dead air" he'd say, and he's not wrong. he's always lived in quietness and it wouldn't hurt to have someone like her to color it with her joy. he never is mean towards her, ever. maybe only when they first met because he's a little skeptical, but that's normal.

but there was definitely points in time where... he got too comfortable with her and casually brings out his smug at her when he wants to combat whatever silly things she says and what happens??? SHE'S FLUSTERED SHES DYING WHY IS HE DOING THAT WHY DOES IT HIT DIFFERENT WITH HIS CONDESCENDING HALF LIDDED EYES AND SHIT EATING GRIN AAAAAAAAA

and? he sees this and... he likes it?? oh shit i can make her fluster .... I CAN MAKE HER .... RED .... (EXPLOSION SFX) he notes this and would love to throw this at her when the time calls for it. she's always... so confident and happy but when she stutters and CUTELY twirls, plays with her sidetails,, ohh that hits a LOT different now oh my

so it's safe to say they switch a lot, depending on who has the upperhand on their communication 🤧✌️though emme is more frequent, which is understandable anyways

basically i want them to have equal treatment ♥️💚 because they deserve it

[aizawas-dryeye]

➭jjk characters as things my friends have said

content: crack, +18 topics, drugs, NSFW shit, like one joke about eating disorders

words: 627

ko-fi

!!MINORS DO NOT INTERACT!!

my friends make me giggle , um also i had No Fucking Idea how to format this soooo

• • •

Shoko: i hate when men say they hate hairy coochie cos they cant find the clit like sir move her bangs over and there she is

Shoko: anyways i stopped shaving my pubes out of spite

*•*•*

Gojo after having a breakdown about Geto: bitch he called me perfect after seeing my ass and tits , forget what i said bitch im in love 😍‼️

*•*•*

Nobara: id buss down for a corn dog

*•*•*

Maki: people who are still in a harry styles or justin bieber phase refuse to progress in a way that is healthy

*•*•*

Nanami: i think im a hypochondriac

Gojo: isnt that when you have boy and girl parts?

Geto: thats a hermaphrodite

*•*•*

Mei Mei, taking the bdsm test: it says im 70% misogynistic

Utahime: that says MASOCHISTIC

*•*•*

Toji: you have to do anal with god to get more than two sauces at the chik fil a

*•*•*

Nanami, promptly after vacuuming: ohh i love a freshly shaved room

*•*•*

Gojo: you know what this dick needs? a tortilla

*•*•*

Inumaki: sorry babe no sex right now im trying to watch one piece

*•*•*

Utahime: what fun things did yall get for christmas?

Shoko: COVID 🕺💃

*•*•*

Yuji: do you remember mickey mouse club house?

Megumi: yea

Yuji: HOTDOG—

*•*•*

Megumi: i think my ex voice teacher is schizophrenic

*•*•*

Geto: this house smells like dookie donkey dick

*•*•*

Nobara: i was violently ill so i decided to lay on the bathroom floor where it is the safest

*•*•*

Inumaki: i have smoked a bowl and drank some coffee. im hoping to have a meeting with god before i talk to my therapist

*•*•*

Megumi: yalls wifi makes me wanna eat my own shit

*•*•*

*group of old ladies walks by*

Yuji, gasping: it's the golden girls!!

*•*•*

Nanami: a word being on the tip of your tongue is akin to edging

*•*•*

Gojo: you are the crack of my ass

*•*•*

Nanami: i used to collect pogs, do you remember those?

Yuji: .... phat ass white girls?

*•*•*

Toji: im doing a tea diet

Shiu: what does that entail?

Toji: an eating disorder probably

*•*•*

Nobara: im gonna die a slow suffocating pepper death

Yuji: if you die from a pepper the universe really had it out for you

Nobara: ok peanut allergy

*•*•*

Nanami: i often think about what if 9/11 happened two months earlier

Nanami: 7/11 would have woken up to a PR nightmare

*•*•*

Toji: how you gonna cheat on your girl with a limp dick?!

*•*•*

Gojo, lovingly: oh nanamin, what does the fox say?

*•*•*

Toji: im going to sleep i dont give a fucking flying fucking turtle shit

*•*•*

Geto: the most consistent panty dropper is not rizz, but closeted homosexuality

*•*•*

Yuji: i know what gets the bitches goin *turns on chowder*

*•*•*

Toji: you know that spoon keychain you got me?

Megumi: mhm

Toji: im so sorry but i definitely did cocaine off of it

*•*•*

Uraume: if you wanna find trans people go to hottopic

*•*•*

Shoko: nurse! scissor me!

*•*•*

*5am, packing a bowl*

Nobara: does this count as a wake n bake

Yuji: yes

Yuji: well if you never woke you never boke

*•*•*

Sukuna: if i bite into a burger and it cums in my mouth im shooting up the block

*•*•*

Yuji: omg whos calling me?

Nobara: your mom— oop...

Nobara: sorry

*•*•*

Nanami: let a man kiss his partners mons pubis what are you the cops?

*•*•*

Gojo after Geto sent him nudes: thank you for keeping my dick fat, youre like a son to me

*•*•*

Gojo: getting megumi to shower is a fight

Geto, looking him up and down: ... does that run in the family?

*•*•*

Shoko to Gojo: little is NOT how i would describe your eyes

*•*•*

Megumi: kendrick lamar stuck in my head

Yuji: just his face or,,,?

Megumi: his music???????

*•*•*

Nanami: not to be obscure but you guys cant translate the phrase "whore boy" like that

[lostinatrainofthoughts]

update on the date

so apparently.... i am the problem haha.

i told jid that i needed to sit with my feelings after the date and evaluate where this was all going. i was so adamant with that mindset about not pursuing a relationship with him because of those little icks (asshole huwaina) such as him mansplaining (like which guy doesnt? its in their nature) and him dismissing some of my needs (like his persistence of taking me out to the beach, him not believing i cant eat tuna bc of a doc i watched in college) and his stupid lateness and inability to text if hes late (he made me drive all the way to his workplace to only findout he wasnt there yet when i called despite me texting earlier on to say ill make my move early and having to drive to the restaurant alone and him making me wait again for 30 mins at the restaurant) and his fear of being 30 and acting like i have a life a head of me just bc im 3 years younger and his need to shorten my name when i told him i hate when ppl shorten my name.

i had it all in my head that i'll tell him it cant work out bc we are incompatible. wrong. i learnt so much about him today. we have so much in common. he said his mom gifted him a house (hes rich af lol) and i said how would he like to design it and he said minimal. and i was like ohh me too. he said things like i dont have anything to hide from you, you can always check my phone, if we go on a honeymoon then its not about the sex but its more like the latenight deep talks, he says that im free to go wherever i want with whoever i want, as long as i tell him im still alive from time to time. he even gave me gifts which is so heartbreaking.... he gave a cute little heart bracelet which totally fits my vibe and gave me cute little cat badges bc i like cats. he was considerate enough to pour me his bottled water bc i finoshed mine and he prepared my cutleries for me. and hes so gentle with me. he even said he wanted to take photos of me with his digicam and i said i was to shy. so he didnt force it and only took 1 photo of me for the mems. he paid for my food and said i could take away some more. he offered to help me finish my dessert bc the stupid restuarant said for hygiene purposes they couldnt do it. he always called the waiter for me even tho i said i could do it myself. he even always texts me to becareful when im out and its raining. he told me the way to his heart is thru bakes. and i told him i actuallt love baking. we both have a sweet tooth too.

hes always reassuring me and i never did that for him bc i was so terrified to do it bc im scared of beimg in a relationship forever and feel trapped.

so we got home at 6pm HAHA not 7pm. bc i told him i needed to have dinner out w my mom n sis which was true btw.

we were talking about attachment styles and mine is fearful avoidant. and he just foundout his was anxious preoccupied. so he asked me if that will change things and i told him honestly yeah it will. and thats when i realised its not him thats the problem, its me. i cant accept his words and i use it against him all the time, im focused on his flaws to strengthen my need to get out of a relationship. and im bawling as i say this but i always love to sabotage relatiomships and its no womder i like emotionally unavailable men bc thats my perception of how men are. they prove im right?? and im content with having people not appreciate me? im in tears as i say this and i know im probably going to regret saying no to jid when hes the closest guy whos literally to my ideal type and i flat out rejected him bc im unable to meet his emotional needs bc im too fixated on the idea of my independence beimg compromised. thats not fair at all. he doesnt deserve that. i cant and dont even know how to deal with this problem unless i go for therapy. fuck my dad and moms relationship seriously 😂😂😂 if it werent for them i wouldnt be like this ! i wouldnt be so scared of commitment and have deep lingering trust issues. in my head im always thinking im never deserving of being in a relationship and i cant give to people. in this way, i sabotage myself. and it doesnt even feel good anymore. im so sorry jid. i wish i wasnt like this. i feel so horrible.

[stuck-in-the-ghost-zone]

MAC I'M GONNA WATCH THE HANNIBAL FINALE. I'M GONNA LIVEBLOG IN UR INBOX BECAUSE IT'S FUN :3

godddd i feel so bad for reba :( she just had a crush on this weird ass guy and now he's kidnapped her and told her he's a murderer. I LOVE HER SHE DESERVES BETTER

DID HE JUST SHOOT HIMSELF???? OHHHHH REBA I'M SO SORRY :(( oh she's escaping.... oh i hope she lives i hope she gets out i am so worried for my girl she has been a highlight of this season fr

SHE'S ALIVE!!!!! oh she's going to have trauma for life. babygirl is not getting through this without copious amounts of issues

will trying to reassure her oughfgh :((( there r parallels between her and will and alana..... i need 2 make that into its own post tho it would b way too long for liveblogging in ur inbox

he's talking 2 hannibal now....... gay ass..... ohhhh will graham girlie u so wanted to kill that guy. u can't even deny it u wanted to murder him soooo bad <3 aren't u tired of being nice? don't u just want to go apeshit?

OH SHIT. HE'S STILL ALIVE. HOW THE FUCK IS HE ALIVE. OH MY GOD HE FAKED HIS SUICIDE

btw i am like. so invested in whatever the fuck will and bedelia have going on. two victims of hannibal who fell in love with him and were so close to being eaten by him. what is happening here is NOT therapy, and it's definitely not a friendship, but a secret third thing

can i just say i love alana bloom in this season as well???? she used to be kind and loving but she was broken down and is now cold and unforgiving. she's put her shields up and can't let anything happen to her again waaaaaghhfh :((( also she's pretty <3 i love women

"i need you hannibal." GAY ASS!!!!!!

"going my way?" HOMOSEXUAL!!!!!!

they're having fucking wine together this is a date this is a gay ass pre-murder date come on dude

what's gayer than this..... drinking wine while watching some guy film your dying boyfriend..... the homoeroticism of this.........

YEAHHHHH KILL EM BABYGIRL!!! STAB THAT MAN!!!!! ohh the camera cutting between shots of will stabbing him and hannibal hitting him with the axe.... will gutting him like a fish and hannibal ripping into his neck with his teeth..... this is gay sex this is homosexual intercourse right on my screen here

THE BLOOD SPREADING TO LOOK LIKE WINGS ARE YOU SERIOUS. dude this wing imagery with this guy is insane i'm going to eat cardboard

HANNIBAL HELPING HIM TO HIS FEET BOTH COVERED IN BLOOD. THEYRE LOOKING EAHC OTHER DEAD IN THE EYES. THEY NEED TO MAKE OUT SLOPPY STYLE RIGHT NOW IM SO SERIOUS.

"it's beautiful." YEAGHHHHAH!!!! GET WORSE!!!! GET WORSE!!!!!!

DUDE THEY FELL. HOLY SHIT. i mean what's more romantic than falling off a cliff in your lover's arms covered in some other man's blood??? like fr. oh my god dude

BEDELIA!!! THERE SHE IS!!!!! is she back in italy????

wh. what's that on the table. wh.

GIRL. GIRLIE. YOU CUT OFF YOUR LEG???? OH THERE IS SOMETHING SO WRONG WITH HER <3

holy shit dude. oh my god. realistically they probably could not have survived that fall but either way, like. how fucked up is that??? and also romantic in a horrible toxic way??? if they died they died in each other's arms. if they lived.... they made it. they fucking made it through everything they did. where would they go now? to italy? are they going to meet bedelia? do we have the most fucked up cannibalistic throuple in the universe?? my god dude. i gotta lay down and think about this for a while. 10/10 amazing show i'm going to explode thank you for recommending i watch it <3 i'm going to evaporate into a million little pieces now i need to scream

AHAHAHAAHAHHAAAA GOOD LUCK . THIS SHOW IS GOING TO LIVE IN YOUR BRAIN FOREVER NOW. YAYYYYYYY IM SO GLAD U LIKED IT. I LOVE THE INBOX LIVEBLOG THANK YOU. HOLD ON I HAVE SOMETHINF FOR U TOO GIVE ME A SECOND TO TYPE IT UP HEHEHEHE

[kplays]

Lunch. Or his actual name Junnosuke Kitagawa.

Hey same last name as Yusuke! Where's the crossover fanfiction!

I may as well put my data for the love club here.

It's data that should be readable, If not the best presented. IDK. It's once again almost 3am, so I should just wrap this up and get ready to sleep.

Here goes. After this shot

Love club answers for females

A.Do people say they want to protect you

A1- Pretty often (

A2. Not really

B. What kind of Music do you prefer

B1- Jazz

B2-Pop

C- How dedicated are you to your style?

C1- I won't change it for anyone

C2-I can changed 

D- Men who wear expensive clothes

D1- I love their flashy ways

D2-not interested

E- what is a better decoration

E1- a crystal skull

E2- a stained glass mobile

Answering all 1s gets you Victor the vampire Demon Fuser!

So lets vary that result by answering Pop at Q2, and continue to pick 1s

F- you and your Boyfriend meet a demon

F1- Ill protect him

F2- Please protect me

G- what do you think of martial arts

G1- I'm actually interested

G2- I don't like violence

H- where would you go with your lover 

H1- Id want to go outside

H2- Id want to spend time inside

i- what present would you get your lover

i1 - A home made cake

i2- clothes that fit him

Answering all 1s from change poin,You get, an actual child Yuichi

Picking C2 at question C. Rest all first option repeats the above

Picking the stained glass mobile after answering all 1 answers got me Original Kyouji Kuzunoha's in his currently stolen body. 

 Ok, lets try a different track 

A

A1- Pretty often 

A2. Not really )

Ohh new question

J- are you bored of your everyday life?

J1- its boring )

J-2 nope

K- what season do you like more

K1- winter

K2- summer

L:- Eternal life or eternal beauty

L1- Life

L2- Beauty

M-what do you think of age differences

M1- age is nothing but a number

M2- they're kind of icky

M2-Kyouji

By picking A2, J1, K2 I got a new question

N- what do you think of talkative guys?

N1- fine in my book

N2- … not my type

N2 got me a new question

O- what do you think about willpower? 

O1- It can make dreams come true

O2- Life doesn't work that way

O2 picked

P- would you eat your favorite food forever?

P1- it would be heaven

P2- Id get tired of it someday

P2 picked

Q- what do you look for in a man

Q1- he has to be cute

Q2- its all about personality

Q2- Got Spooky

Lets go back and pick O1

New question

R- what would you drink with your lover

R1- Tea

R2- coffee

R1- Spooky is a tea drinker apparently

P2- gets me Lunch

Q1 leads to new question

S- the latest Fads…?

S1- I keep up with them

S2- Im not interested in them 

Six is gotten by keeping up with latest fads

–

Funny for the guys, saying you believe in god, that you a wizard, and that you can talk with demons all the time, results in no girlfriend for you. 

[restinpeacesensei]

[animehideout]

Hello! It's me again! Wanted to request if you could do Tokyo Revengers Boys on how they would take care of their sick s/o. I unfortunately am sick today and I can use some fluff ಥ‿��� Thank you! And keep up the good work! (｡･ω･｡)ﾉ♡

Tokyo Revengers Boys: Taking care of their sick s/o

A/n : aww cutie get well soon!!! Pls take care of yourself and stay hydrated. Here's my love 💗💗💗💗💗.

Characters> Mikey, Draken, Mitsuya, Baji, Chifuyu, Smiley, Angry.

Mikey :

• You would call him in the middle of an important meeting.

• Leaves everything in Draken's hands and rushes to you.

• Doesn't care if the others felt offended because he left suddenly. His baby needs him and that's all.

• Mikey is so soft.

• He would cuddle your pain away.

• Would spend the whole day with you in bed.

• Doesn't care if he gets sick too

• If he wants to kiss you he would do it no matter how much you pushed him away from your side.

• "Mikey please you'll get sick too"

• " doesn't sound like a problem to me, i can't resist your lips"

• "b-but"

• "no buts, if i get sick then we'll spend more time together cuddling in bed, and we'll get Draken to take care of us"

• Ends up being sick too.

• Doesn't feel bad about it, he would just hold you in his arms, while Draken in the kitchen busy preparing soup for both of you. (Poor guy Draken).

Draken :

• Protective mode activated.

• Would be serious about it, like really serious.

•His main purpose is to get you feel better asap.

• Force you to take your medicine.

• "no Ken i dont wanna take them, i hate pills."

• Would roll his eyes really hard.

• "stop being a baby (y/n) you need to take them."

• "no" you would cross your arms sulking.

• "no?" And then makes you open your mouth and swallow the pills ( daamn boy why so agressive).

• Naggs you a lot.

• "You should be more careful (y/n)!!!" He said in annoyance.

• you would pout cause his arms alone are able to make you feel better.

• "oh baby I'm sorry, don't be sad...i just hate seeing you in pain"

• Proceeds to take you in his arms and fall asleep you laying on top of him.

Baji :

• He arrives home to see you laying on the couch.

• Your hair in a messy bun.

• The moment you told him you were sick his beautiful smile would fade away.

• Carries you bridal style to the bathroom.

• Runs you a warm bath.

• Lights scented candles to make you relax a bit.

• Helps you take your clothes off.

• Would wash your hair, rubbing your head softly.

• Dries your body and helps you put your clothes on.

• Dries your hair and braid it.

• Gives you shoulder and feet massage.

• Slowly you would drift to sleep under his magical touches.

• "Sleep tight cutie, I love you". He would whisper.

Chifuyu :

• Would panic at first!

• Not sure how to take care of you.

• A lost baby.

• Would ask you a lot of questions.

• "is it okay if i touch you?"

• "do you want some water?"

• "shoud we go see a doctor? Im s-scared"

• "chifuyu baby relax im fine, just get your ass over here"

• Would run and throw himself in your arms.

• "i need cuddles"

• "ohh taking care of you is easier than i thought (y/n)" he would joke.

• Nothing makes you feel better than being protectively wrapped in his strong arms.

Mitsuya :

• Aaaaaah i love him.

• Very responsible.

• Knows exactly what to do to make you feel better.

• Cooks you a lot of healthy food and gives you fruits.

• Would make sure , you're hydrated and eating well.

• He's rly husband material.

• Always has medicines on his nightstand for cases like this.

• Tries to make you feel comfortable as much as possible, would do everything.

•Puts a wet towel on your forehead and on your knees to cool you off.

• If you carve snacks just give him your puppy eyes.

• He would sigh in defeat ( screams inside you were so cute).

• "Pweaaase" you begged.

• "You're lucky you're cute"

• Gives in easily rushing to the store to buy you all kinds of chocolate and chips (spoils you)

• Would make sure you get enough sleep, he would play with your hair until you drift off.

Smiley:

• This cutie aaah.

• Would cheer you up.

• Would entertain you if he sees you sulking.

• Wants to take your mind off of pain and sickness.

• He would put some random music and start dancing like a crazy trying to get you to laugh.

• Lowkey would say cheap pickup lines.

• "baby did you fart? Cuz you blew me away" he said wiggling his eyebrows.

• ..100% bf material..

• He would make you forget about everything and instead laugh your asses out.

Angry :

• This cute baby would cry when he sees you sick.

• Would insist to take you to doctor.

• "Baby are you sure you don't want to go? Im really worried" he pouts.

• Very very worried.. wouldn't leave your side.

• Would tell you how much he loves and cares for you and, if it was in his hands he would take your pain away.

• "I love you so much (y/n)! You mean the world to me"

• "It makes me sad to see you gloomy like this".

• "You're my favorite person (y/n), just know that I'll be always by your side".

• His words make you smile and calms you down.

• You would reassure him that nothing is serious.

• Tables turned and now you're the one taking care of his anxiety attack.

• This man loves you so much really.

[obitv]

personally im still fixated on the fact charlie said the call of cuthulu game system style would fit the vibe for deadwood like. damn they were dealing with MONSTER monsters huh

LIYERRASLLY THIS FUCKING TOO. sorry i got excited i started just attacking my keyboard

YES this is where a lot of my hcs started from because i wouldve just made them harmless ghosts but he literally mentioned coc (sorry) and i imediately went insane. i dont know if it comes across but i very much try to make the woods an entity unto itself as well as the creatures in it. the woods let william in and they let him out again when they were ready. like the woods eats peeople. it eats them and it spts them out Wrong and everyone knows this but when william comes back and all thats wrong is ohh his hearts a bit slow they try to belueve in the best. there is somthing fundamentally wrong with the woods and i think theres a chance the whole town or at least part of town is in on it. kind of like the actual cult of cthulu or whatever the fuck the fishpeople story is but maybe with less fish. um. h id fucking love if there was a slightly toned down coc campaign just for thee upp like i know itd never happen but itd be really fascinating to me (i say toned down bc charlie Also said william would get destriyed in coc bc he was literally 15-16 at the time AND powerless)

[pixiecaps]

okok so we start with fadel and bison and theyre brothers right but theyre also hitmen and they sorta work for this character we have yet to meet. theres only two episodes out so. secrets.

but bisons the younger brother and hes sorta over this hitman life cause he just wants to have friendsss and live a normal life!!! but fadels very much like nope we cant have any friends, we cannot let anyone in, we'll get caught otherwise, do not allow anyone in. and bisons like :-(

they also have a front of a normal life where they run a burger restaurant and god its the silliest thing ever.

so one night bisons like im going bowling i and fadels like fine -.- go. so bisons there and theres where we're introduced to two new characters.

kant and style. kant and style are besties hanging out and happen to be bowling on the same day. kant is looking for a one night stand. thats when he spots bison who is alone. (😭my boy)

flirt flirt flirt later they fuck in a hotel peace and love on planet earth.

meanwhile style! he got a little tipsy and went driving home and happens to crash into fadel in his car. so style is like ohh fuckk im sorry im a mechanic i can fix this and fadels like fuck you stupid ass drunk bastard. yeah youre gonna fix this for me. yadda yadda fadel leaves and style is like wow. this guy sucks. fadel was in a rush though cause he had a body in his truck kekw

cut to the day after kant goes to see this boss guy and turns out hes like a detective private cop? guy? and the boss is like hey do this mission or i mess with your life and little brother. cause kant also have a brother. and hes like well shit okay whats the mission. and the guy explains that a bunch of politicians and wealthy businessmen etc have been being killed which he believes is due to some hitmen and then he shows him a photo of FADEL AND BISON whom hes suspecting to the killers. and he asks kant to investigate them and basically try to get either a confirmation or something of proof. and kants like. that's the guy i fucked last night��. either way he accepts the mission

the information the boss guy gave him led to the burger front who he literally finds bison the day after and just shows up like heyyy ^_^ and bisons like ? um. how did you find me. and hes like itssss justa coincidence man^_^ and bison fucking believes him. and kant immediately starts flirting again like shawty i want you to be mine and bisons like wow you move fast. bison also doesnt know how to cook so when kant orders a burger bison makes an abomination and has to sit there eating it like ^_^wowww so good.

fadel then shows up and is like ? ummm🤨 fast forward and kant leaves and fadel to bison is like i dont trust that guy. and bisons like hes harmless:3

fadel also gets his car fixed and general more fadel and style bickering but it aint too important yet

thenn we get more sequences of kant taking bison on dates and eventually after like the second or third at the end fadel goes to talk to kant privately and hes basically like stay the fuck away from my brother i dont fucking like you. (gotta give it to fadel he has a rily good gut feeling) and so later kants like bison how do i get ur brother off my damn back? and bisons like omg brilliant idea💡 lets get him a boyfriend to distract him from ourr relationship and so kant has the perfect person in mind. style.

so kant goes to his bestie style like heyyy i wanna date this bison guy badly but i need you to woo his older brother for me. which is a lie btw hes doing this for the mission but style doesnt know that. and styles like sure whos the guy and kant shows him a photo of fadel and hes like THE GRUMPY ASS MISERABLE PIECE OF SHIT?

and so style starts trying to win fadels admittingly in the worst ways possible like stalking him and annoying him and fadels like BRO LEAVE ME ALONE and fadel starts investigating style and finds out hes besties with kant and hes like...... suspicious.

meanwhile kant and bison r going on more dates etc etc but bison isnt letting anything slip about him being a hitmen On the other hand bison is kinda falling more and more for kant and it hurts so bad to see cause hes just lying to him the entire time

then style finally realizes a strategy that might work and starts fucking seducing fadel and um. i wont go into details but lets say it works too well but fadel snaps out of it and literally walks away hes like NOPE BYE NOT DOING THIS. and styles like bbgirl i want you 😤 and fadels like WHO THE FUCK SENT YOU!!??? WHAT DO YOU WANT FROM MEvvbb???! but unfortunately the seduction worked too well and then fadel finally starts cracking and look man he lasted a while with this cold guy front but he starts fucking fantasizing about style and theres a whole scene where he jorks it.

then the actor for fadel the other day tweeted guys my professor watched the show. cause yes hes also pretty young and in school getting his degree and so his professor watched all of it including well That scene and he was like . kill me

i feel like im definitely missing something but that was basically the two episodes. and i cannot wait for the plot to get more dramatic and for when the characters find out all the lies and for fadel to realize HE WAS RIGHT THE ENTIRE TIMEEE and i also feel like bison will realize kants act eventually like i have full faith in that hes gonna realize and be like oh fuck this guy he needs to die. and then epi 3 preview implies that style is gonna find out the real reason why kant asked him to get with fadel and i cannot fucking wait for that reaction. like hey bestie i actually asked you to hit on a hitman who couldve killed you and did contemplate it multiple times without telling uuu aha

gonna give you guys a thk recap because ^_^ i wanna