#this started sooo rough but im happy with it overall

[theartofmadeline]

This Barbie is AroAce!

[darlingmaakun]

I can already tell this acc is gonna be a gem omggggg! It’s been a while since I’ve been on tumblr helloooo~!

Can I please request himeru with a touch-starved gn s/o? They never loved holding hands or being touched until himeru and them eventually started being affectionate, and now his s/o melts even with the smallest touch.

I hc that himeru’s also a little touch starved due to his past, and i think he realized this the more he got affectionate with s/o. so then he also began to act more clingy towards his s/o — complete, cuddly 180 from his persona

(can i be 🍓 anon plsss? have a good day!)

anyway don't be a stranger

pairing — himeru x gn ! reader

synopsis — himeru had a rough day, and all he wants is to go home and spend the rest of it with his lovely parter.

warnings — fluff fluff fluff !!! himeru is very much in love , himeru pins you down and tickles you (not in a weird way) , overall just really cute

authors note — MY FIRST ANON ASK IM SOOO HAPPY RN!!! im very sorry this is really short because i dont really know how to write for himeru but i tried my best!!! and yes ofc u can be 🍓anon!!!

word count — 633

Rinne was starting to get on himeru’s nerves. 

The (very much) eccentric red head had been goofing off the entire practice and everyone in crazy:b was starting to get sick of it. Kohaku had already yelled at him three times before and Niki gave up entirely. Himeru sighed and massaged his temples in order to prevent a migraine from coming on. Thankfully, practice was about done anyways. 

Once that clock struck 6:30 he practically sprinted out there, almost knocking over kohaku in the process. As he walked down to the bus stop, he quickly sent you a text saying he would be home soon. To which he got almost an immediate reply.

‘okay i’ll be waiting ! <33’

He smiled down at his phone as the bus stopped at his sight and he got on and took his seat. He looked out the vacant window, excited to see you and hold you again. 

When Himeru arrived at your guys shared apartment, he nearly collapsed on your couch, letting out a big sigh. 

“Long day?”

Himeru looked up from his wallowing to see you walking towards him with a cup of water in your hands. You place it down on the coffee table and sit by his head, to which he slides up a little bit so that he can place it on your lap. 

You blush furiously and look away so he won’t see your face. Even so, you reach your hands down to comb them through his hair. After sitting there in silence for a bit he starts. 

“You wouldn’t even know. Rinne kept going on and on today, it was almost impossible for Himeru to focus and actually do his job.” He sighs out, turning his head so now he’s hiding his face against your shirt. 

You let out a small giggle at his comments about Rinne which makes him look up at you. 

“Do you think that’s funny?” he says in a joking manner while poking your stomach, slightly tickling you, which made you laugh even more. You try to push him away and cover your stomach, but his workout plan is no joke and he overpowers you almost immediately.

Himeru climbs on top and sits on top of you so you can’t move, and starts tickling your stomach lightly, making you thrash around and laugh heavily. 

“Stop stop stop, I'm sorry!!” you say in between laughs. After which, Himeru gets off of you and you catch your breath. You look at him with a pout on your face. 

“You’re not funny.” you say sticking your lip out at him. He laughs in return. 

“Himeru is sorry, he just can’t help it. he loves your laugh.” he replies, to which you almost immediately go back to your previous blushing face.

You both sit next to each other in silence. Except instead of it being awkward, it was oddly comforting. you were about to turn your head and say something to break the silence, until you felt something on your shoulder. 

You look over and see himeru sound asleep leaning on you. your whole face goes red and you look away slightly before looking back over. 

“I love you a lot Himeru. more than you’ll ever know. Even if I'm really bad at expressing it, I'm happy you can feel so comfortable around me.”  you whisper softly while running your hands through his long blue hair again. 

You reach over and grab the book that you were reading before Himeru got home on the coffee table. You quietly turn the pages as you read while you wait for your love to wake up again. 

Himeru on the other hand had to do everything he could in his power to prevent himself from smiling and blowing his cover of faking his slumber.

[cadaverousconsumer]

helloooo here are my beta kid headcanons! @icarusshomestuckfan do u remember that one convoersation we had about how i had no headcanons? well i do now!!!!

also im only doing the beta kids rn cause i dont wanna spoil anything for @giggleshitter0

ok chat starting with my main dude

Dave Strider hc!! dave is definitely, at the start at least, very thin but relatively lanky bc of general malnourishment from bro. however i like 2 think that he would become healthier throughout the comic and eventually become a healthy weight for his height. dave i think, if he went 2 school i think people would like him and think he was cool and wanna hang out buttt i think that he wowuld only have a couple good friends like the other beta kids buttt like his irl friends. i think dave definetly learned many domestic chores at a very young age. however i think bro would care about how dave looks, like his style and whatnot, but it would be strictly mandated by bro, with lil room for dave to express himself differently from bro. i think that dave is biracial bc i think roxy is black n dirk is pale asf in a white way.

kk now for our unoffical main character the nicest sigmaest guy john!

John Egbert hc: just clariying i think june egbert iis totally cool and probably canon buttt i personally never rly thought about it b4 getting into the fandom so i have no headcanons for her so here r my headcanons for john. john definitely is on the chubbier smaller side imo. his dad does bake a lot! i think john had a pretty good upbringing and was pretty happy with his bad movies and prank obssession. at school he probably had a couple nerdy friends and tehy were all very close! i dont think he would play dnd buttt if he did i bet thats where he would meet his friends, stranger things style. john is a classic nerd and people like him bc hes so nice and very considerate. john likes basketball n has fun playing it but isnt very good. i think john is half brazilian bc i think jake is brazilian but alpha kids are for another day haha. john has definetly broken his glasses a few times tripping over things. i think hes a bit clumbsy lol.

now onto our goth queennnn rose

Rose Lalonde hc: rose definitely had a rough childhood 2 but i think her mom took more care of her then bro did even if it was only 2 play the role of motherhood for her passive aggressive tendencies. she definitely stopped doing anything (other than vacuuming lol) once rose was old enough to do it herself. i think roses hair is bleached and straightened to oblivion and when she gets older shes defintely gonna wish she hadnt done it so much when she was younger. i think at school many people would have wanted to be her friend but she prefered more solitude, for wizard fanfics and eldritch god study. i think rose is shorter and curvier, (i def like the idea of her being shorter than kan) and a bit darker than dave. she started her intensive makeup routine in the hopes of attracting her mothers attention negatively, but with no luck. however she kept up with it because she found she liked the repetitivness of putting it on each morning, as well as the fact that it fit her overall aesthetic.

now for everyones fav doggie girl, jade!

Jade Harley hc: i love jade i think she is sooo cute. jade had an interesting childhood, being raised by a god level dog. i dont think it was necessarily bad just... very different from the other kids. i imagine she was left unattended a lot, but bec would always be aware of when to teleport in 2 save her. her hair is very long and has never really been cut officially due 2 living in the woods. jade is completely homeschooled and has nevre left the island. i think jade is rather petite and pretty thin overall... i imagine dogs probably arent the best at nutrition for humans haha. even tho jade doesnt know any kids her age in person i think she probably had many online friends and spent a lot of time online, playing games, watching videos, and just messing around. i think she learned bass from a youtube video. jade is also half brazilian cause jake

well those r my shitty headcanons

[sydmarch]

(Prev 8 Arms anon) I'm sorry to hear you had such a less than pleasant time in the fandom :( I can relate, recently bit the bullet and left all the spidey n doc ock servers I was in. I won't let the internet spoil spider-man for me, as sonething I grew up with. Fully understandable you likely won't continue and I support you on it. I am admittedly curious on what your plans were for it, and wonder if it would be okay to maybe unofficially continue it, or something inspired off it?

thank you anon! i will say the VAST majority of my time spent in the doc ock fandom was great & overall it was one of the most fun fandoms i've been part of and i look back on my time there very fondly.

really it was just a few people who... i guess i can say we had irreconcilable differences of opinion for lack of a better way to put it while remaining vague.. became influential enough in the fandom& main server that i ended up feeling pushed out. really there was just one specific change to the server that was the final straw for me & i left the next day but i won't go more into detail on any of that in public posts LOL

so this ask had me open my google doc of this fic for the first time in ages to get my notes & i realized i had the first half of ch3 written but never posted so i've added that on ao3!

honestly i would be SOOO flattered if you wanted to continue the fic i'd be more than ok with that! can't believe people liked my silly little story that much! as for what i had planned for it i did have some super rough draft notes i'd written up for the remainder of the fic which i'll throw beneath the cut:

basically i had planned for the rest of chapter 3 to be the surgery itself - the actuators operate & otto eventually passes out of course. probably nothing TOO gory since my intention of this fic was to be mostly kink focused & angst at the beginning with a happy ending. so after the surgery he's kind of delirious from pain and in infection and the hospital employee he'd injured ends up finding him, having not been hurt seriously during the break in they followed him back & kind of hovered around a bit watching things unfold for a bit before revealing themselves like "that was a really stupid thing you did, you need antibiotics. no you ARE going to let me help you with this because otherwise you are going to die" & they get to know each other while the oc/reader stand in helps get him back to full health. & eventually he starts to work through some of his issues by having someone else to be close with etc etc. and then of course the feedism stuff too i'd put down a note that there should be a scene where the other character is like "so WHY were you doing something this dumb in the first place" & when otto's awkwardly explaining they get REALLY embarrassed hearing about it but not for the reasons otto thinks. classic feedism fic miscommunication moment yknow. oh & my notes also include a line i planned the other character to say at some point which i think kind of sums up the thesis for how i intend their relationship to end up & that's “you’ve been getting fat because you aren’t taking care of yourself. From now on i want you getting fat because im taking care of you”

[floofymeow]

BL Thoughts (review…?) #1:

90 chapters with about 80 chapters of main story and 10 of extras!

I started reading this one like in the evening bc I was looking for smth extremely brain dead — hence the active choice to read MTL. I find that mtl is just the fast food of webnovels. It’s so easy to consume and mind numbing that I read it to bed gnjghvfjdkssss

It’s abt an MC with a small cub orphanage in an interstellar world who has downloaded this virtual lover game and has to pretend to be his lover — amused, the MC continues to play the game, only to find out the virtual lover has real life effects and ends up face slapping everyone who gets in the MC’s way.

I was so entertained by how many random arcs of things the MC would do — cooking, gaming, cub raising, singing, and streaming — and seeing random antagonist characters get out in their place scratched the usual trashy itch of face slapping bl.

I’m also just a trashy reader who likes the bl trope of online NPC lover is actually real sooo im pretty biased in enjoyment

The game scenarios featuring the ML were super funny, but sometimes they would only converse for maybe a scene while switching in and out ( I really wanted to see the ML more he was the typical attractive ML and I still ate it up) of the real world

Ok but the crazy part is I read it SO casually and by the end I was highkey tearing up from the attachment I built on the characters. Like the mc is so lonely 🥹🥹and he misses his parents so much and it randomly just kinda bludgeons u in a chapter where he just like mourns that his parents aren’t alive and he’ll never see them again 😭😭😭😭

Ignoring the fact that they were alive all along lol and got not even a single extra chapter cameo …… lfmaooooo

The ML was highkey decently fun and a chill break from the usual toxically obsessed “u are the only reason I don’t destroy this world” type deal… ok kinda not really lol!!! But but he actively worked on doing good for the world as it’s like AI ruler or whatever. The plot kinda cracked me up that it was a reversal of evil AI good government lolollllfhfhjfdjddds

The twists and overarching plot were very consistent and in line with what I expect from an 80 chapter wbenovell I really liked em!!

The worst part is despite how mediocre / rough the story was it still got me sniffling with tears for a few chapters near the end, bc I got really attached to wanting to see the MC succeed. It really felt like he deserved happiness bc it came across very well that he had been struggling for a long time before the ML came around 💗💗

Anyways blah blah no stakes ever blah conflicts non existent and could get easily bored binging blah blah ml and mc don’t actually have chemistry or personalities blah blah blah the usual stuff lol

pretty decent read overall would never subject someone to it

3 stars for making me look forward to bed every night hahahaha

⭐️⭐️⭐️

[yeee-dam]

TREASURE bdsm scores

So while y’all are waiting for the next hyunsuk smut, i decided to do smthn short and sweet and fun - bdsm >:)

BDSM terminology found: here

BDSM rating scale (softie>>>>hardcore):

🥰>>😳>>😏>>😈>>👹

For extra fun, comment below what ratings you personally think each of the [legal] members are, go ham :3

• Hyunsuk:

This mans is 100% a switch. He loves subbing just as much as he loves dominating. When you have more time on your hands, hyunsuk is more likely to be a sub, where you can give him lots of foreplay and spend time savouring his body. When you’re more spontaneous, however, you can see his dominant side. Would definitely be into voyeurism when he catches you touching yourself - being a brat tamer with you is also one of his kinks and loves shaming you for being a little slut as much as he loves calling you baby girl while cradled up in his arms. He also regularly loves indulging in the more common bdsm routines - handcuffs, ropes, blindfolds, you name it - he loves it on either of you. Because he likes subbing, dare I say he would be one of the only members open to anal (i said it!!🤭) - it’s dildoes galore with him. Overall one of the more kinky members, especially because he’s likely to have more experience given his age. But he will also equally enjoy cuddling and dreamily staring into your eyes in between rounds of having the hottest makeout session ever.

Overall bdsm rating:😈

• Jihoon

So I think everyone saw this coming but this boy... hot mama is he a kinkster. He’d be open to almost anything - except he’s a dom. A strong dom (like 99.9% dom). He’ll whip you, he’ll tie you up, he’ll watch you, he’ll make YOU watch HIM and tell you that you can’t move until he’s finished. He loves calling you a little slut, his little fucktoy, he loves sadism, voyeurism, exhibitionism, being a brat tamer. And while this may seem counter-intuitive since Jihoon is seen as the jealous type, he is definitely into threesomes. He gets super jealous when you’re with other people but that only makes him want you more and makes him want to please you more. Once you’re finished with the third person, oh boy. You better prepare for a long ass night with Jihoon. Also expect a lot of markings - scratches on your back, hickeys on your neck and chest, bruising all over. Despite all this, he will also enjoy vanilla sex with you especially if you’re not in the mood for anything too frisky - he cares about you and how you feel and takes that into consideration as well.

Overall bdsm rating: 😈/👹

• Yoshi

So at first I was so sure Jihoon would be the kinkiest member but on second thoughts it’s definitely yoshi. If it ain’t rough, he don’t want it (jk tho he would definitely care about what you wanted to do as well). HOWEVER, this mans is sooo similar to jihoon in that he is a very strong dominant sadist. If jihoon is 99.9% , yoshi is the one that brings it to 100%. He is definitely into a master/slave routine - in his mind you are the only one for him, the only one that can serve him to fulfil his needs. He is SO into orgies, where he is the only one in charge. He enjoys giving orders and punishing anyone involved if they’re disobedient. Punishments include whipping, choking, putting you on a leash. Not only that, he’ll punish you blindfolded and tied up, never knowing when he’d decide to do so. He also likes edging you as a punishment, and then stopping you right as you’re about to orgasm. Basically, you gon need to take off a whole day to spend time with this mans. Vanilla sex bores him but at the same time he’ll do it for you as your dedicated lover and master.

Overall bdsm rating: 👹

•Junkyu

SO IM A FIRM BELIEVER THAT JUNKYU likes anal. Periodt. Idk why but he just,, gives off anal vibes. Definitely can see him having a threesome with someone like hyunsuk and subbing when receiving anal (he’d also like giving anal). However, that’s about where Junkyu’s kinkiness ends. Other than some vanilla blindfolding or body-marking, Junkyu is pretty vanilla. He is someone that loves lips. Whatever you two may be doing, he’ll be kissing you passionately. He’s a devout believer in giving and receiving head ALWAYS. He’s someone that likes routine, quickies in the morning are a regular thing. It may not always be different with Junkyu, but that’s okay because you know that he always invests his emotions into you and you can feel that love emanating from him everytime you make love. He’ll call you pretty names and tell you how beautiful you look when you orgasm. Afterwards, he’ll clean up after both of you and will offer to wash the sheets for you. Expect a relaxing bath-and-wine chat session with him to wind down afterwards. Overall a very mature lover and focuses on your intellectual beauty.

Overall bdsm rating: 😳/😏

• Mashiho

Now, mashi is also a switch like hyunsuk but more of a 30/70 sub/dom whereas hyunsuk would be more 50/50. We all know how much mashi would love your attention (go watch treasure map ep.21 and you’ll see what I mean), so he gets ecstatic when he’s in the mood for subbing. Although he doesn’t sub often, when he does he goes ham. He likes getting hard while fully clothed and while watching you touch yourself - in fact he’ll voluntarily submit to watching you, no commands needed. He also loves threesomes and orgies for the reason that he’s just so visually stimulated (i mean look at his perfectly arranged room), and also because he’s not the type to get jealous too easily. Because he’s so clean and neat, it also wouldn’t be a surprise if he liked a certain brat taming or mommy/daddy foreplay routine before getting down and dirty. Again, he would definitely be into rigging and degrading like hyunsuk, as well as vanilla sex when you’re tired or just when mashi feels like giving you a lot of eye contact and cuddles that day. Loves pillow talk and spooning after a sesh and just breathing in the scent of your hair as you spoon.

Overall bdsm rating: 😈

• Jaehyuk:

As much as this mans seems like a bad boy on the streets, you know he’s such a darn softie in the sheets. He likes going vanilla most of the time, giving you lots of massages, lots of eye contact and lots of whispers in your ear and foreplay - allll the foreplay in the world. He takes his time to savour every inch of your skin and absolutely loves seeing you bathe in pleasure. Missionary is definitely one of his favourite positions because he gets to see your face in ecstacy as he grinds into you. And don’t get me started on how much he would love eating you out and fingering you. He’d avoid licking his lips afterwards just so your taste could linger in his mouth. If he did venture into bdsm though, it’d be something not too risky - trying new positions itself would be considered adventurous for jaehyuk. Although he’d mostly be a (vanilla) dom when trying out bdsm, jaehyuk can definitely be a switch from time to time. When subbing, he likes being a rope bunny. When dom’ing, he likes being a rigger.

Overall bdsm rating: 🥰

• Asahi

So Asahi is a really emotional lover - sex often ends up going according to his moods. The more stressed he is, the rougher and more experimental he gets. The more peaceful he is, the more vanilla he is. A rough day at work or even just an uneventful day will surge his desire for kinky stuff. Has he had a hard time composing his song today? You’re gonna be cuffed and blindfolded tonight. Has he felt uninspired and frustrated with his creativity lately? Better get prepared for some slut shaming and humiliation. Has he been relaxed all day? Get YO ASS READY FOR SOME MF CUDDLES AND SOFT FOREPLAY. He’s finna take his sweet, sweet time making out with you, making sure there’s lots of nipple play and contact with your erogenous zones. And only THEN will he get down to business. Even then, he’ll be gentle and take his time, listening to your beckons and calls. Asahi also has potential to be a sub, slightly more than mashi, about 35/65 sub/dom. Blindfold him, whisper some naughty stuff in his ear and give him the best head of his life and he’s a happy man.

Overall bdsm rating: 😏

[bnhaficsforthesoul]

hello! I've been struggling with tests at school a lot lately so could I request mini scenarios for Kirishima, Izuku and Bakugo about how they would comfort the reader? if you don't do multiple characters just do Kirishima please! for a gender neutral reader preferably for inclusivity ☺️

In honor of me literally staring at a math test for an hour and only writing down one equation - im writing this right after said test because I feel you 😔

Kirishima

 He gets it - some subjects are just horrible for him and he cant pass without studying like crazy

So you two will have to help each other if you struggle in the same subjects - like math

Or youll go ask Baku for help - and hell act like its a bother but he will help you guys

But hes great with subjects like history so if you need help with that hes always ready to help you

Overall hes going to keep telling you that youre smart and youre just going through a rough patch with school, just keep working hard and then youre grades will go back up and youll be fine

If youre one of those people who considers anything below an A doing horrible, then he wont completely get it cause hes ready to say how amazing youre doing when you get a C

But seriously any time you do good on a test hes like ‘lets celebrate’ and if you do poorly again then hes like ‘next time, youll do great!’

Midoriya

Hes sooo ready to help you study

He takes such extensive notes on literally everything - theyre a bit hard to read cause theyre all over the place but hell talk you through them

He doesnt think grades should bring you down too much, yes it sucks when you do bad but you can always bring it back up and honestly as long as you pass he thinks youre fine (that only applies to everyone except for him tho, he wants straight A’s)

He focuses on the topics that youre weak at and finds the best way for you to learn - be it him quizzing you or doing a bunch of problems

And when you do good on tests he gets so happy for you

Hes patient and dedicated - hes going to do everything in his power to help you

Bakugou

I mean… hes a big study freak so hes just gonna pull you into his study sessions

He worries about his grade and cause of that he thinks you should too - but he sees that youre upset over not doing so well lately and he feels bad

Hes actually a really good teacher, hes not the most patient but he will make sure that you learn everything you need to

Hell go over your tests with you and help you with all the problems you missed to make sure that you can at least get an A on that test - then you should be able to do most problems related to that

Or if its more of a memory test hell quiz you a lot, the best way to remember things is to keep repeating it 

“Ah, don’t worry about it baby, you’ll get it soon”

Hell kinda awkwardly try to comfort you if you start getting really upset, like dont worry im helping you and you just need a little help - youll be able to fix your grade through studying for up coming tests and getting high scores on those

[one-leaf-grimoire]

Matchup for @kiribaku-is-endgayme​ !!!

Hiii! Sooo, I was going to just send in something anon for the match up. Buuuut, I am too drawn out for that letter limit 😬. Congratulations on 100+ followers!!!! You deserve WAAAYYY more though!   I ABSOLUTELY LOVE THIS BLOG!!! Soooo, to the biography--- OKK! Here we go. I'm a straight female who is kinda tall for my age, but not expected to be super tall. I'm not skinny but also not large, a little over medium. I'm headstrong, I stick to my opinion, but also understands others. Friends say I give great advise. I love reading, and spend most of my time in quiet places. I am very academic, being a straight A student. I am very involved in math and history! I dont really like rough, and wild people. (Like magna). I am LITTERALY half blind, for I wear glasses. I am a super Introvert! I would much rather spend my time couped up in a room, alone or with someone close, than going out to party, or just a social event that has lots of people...... I really like physical  touch, in a non-sexual way. Like, sly hand touches, or just leaning on eachother, that kinda stuff. But I guess behind closed doors in the clingy one 😬. At first I seem quiet, but thats just because when I start talking, I don't stop, and I don't like to put people in that position... I have THE WORST conscious, im kinda a goody-two shoes, but depending on the person I would do anything.  I dont have many friends, but by choice! I would much rather prefer quality over quantity. Some say im up-tight and some say in laid back....i guess it depends on my mood... Ok byeeeee, sorry if I'm like non compatible with anyone....I get that a lot....🤣✌

----------

Okay so one person literally JUMPED into my mind, and he is

Klaus Lunettes!

Okay what really got me was the fact that you’re academic and opinionated. I feel like Klaus would appreciate someone who was similar to him in those regards so you would have a lot of good conversations together!

He would definitely go to you for advice about dealing with Mimosa and Yuno! He takes his job as a mentor very seriously and feels happy to have someone like you to support him

After a long day of missions and babysitting, he’d be more than happy to just lock himself in a room with you to read books and play board games. 

We all know that, deep down, he’s a super caring person, and that side of him would really show around you. He’s hyper-aware of how you’re reacting to certain situations and isn’t afraid to stand up for you if needed.

Overall, he appreciates both the up-tight and laid-back sides of you, and you help bring out the best side of him as well!

----

I really hope you liked this!!! And OMG THANK YOU FOR YOUR SUPPORT SO FAR BBY!!! I always see you liking my posts and I’m sure you’ve sent in a couple asks as well. :)) Have a great night!!!!

[echo-inthevoid]

Season 2 q&a and overall reaction

Jonny stealing everyone's names XD 

Is martin going to be ok!? I also need to know! 

He said no;-; 

ok ya, no one's gonna be ok. 

Ya, he must do sooo much research. 

Ya, except for "fatigue" lol.

Eyyy the mechanisms!! 

What's the red string brigade? Ok, I guess a group of fans theorizing about stuff. 

Oh ok so someone else did martins poetry. Ooh, there's more martin poetry out there! *grabby hands*

Ok ya, Alex clarifying that Jon isn't stupid he just makes poor decisions. Probably if he'd paused and thought about it (like I did lol, I had to go do some stuff in the middle of that ep and thought about it a whole bunch lol) instead of immediately going out and buying an axe and further isolating himself and panicking immediately he probably would have figured it out. This is why it's bad to panic in a crisis guys. 

Eyyy! Jonny's parents voiced Gertrude and Leitner! That's so cool. 

XD Jonny grumbling about having to work with his parents. 

Hmm, I hadn't really thought of Gertrude being like a mother figure in the story? She just seems very cut-throat I guess from what Leitner said. Idk so far I've been very suspicious of her. Especially since that one statement where her photo burned a whole bunch of people or something. She just seems very shady... 

Alex chortling over Jonny's pain. XD

Side note, Every time there's a q&a I just can't stop noticing Jonny's voice going in and out of archivist range? Like most of the time I'm just listening along and then he'll say a sentence a bit grumblier and my brains immediately like "ARCHIVIST! That's THE ARCHIVIST!!" 

Martin would be the last one alive in Friday the 13th! It's official! 

(Is it bad that this gives me hope)

Jon likes Nonfiction, documentaries, and probably collects something just a little bit weird. *writes down for use in potential fics* 

also while im at it I remember jon saying he dislikes coffee at one point,  and so many people have him liking coffee in their fics! This has been your daily reminder of that fact because ever since then it keeps bugging me lol. (But also do whatever u want.)

Alex's spluttering sounds so much like Martin.

Yes!! I want to hear jon sing!! Yes! Musical Episode When!!?

Ah yes yes yes! All the characters are so unique!!? How does he do it!! 

Ya, it being in audio format sometimes makes it hard to understand what's happening in the live-action bits. (Live-action is the wrong word but u know what I mean.)

Oh ok ya, how he mentioned he got a pipe was quite clever I didn't realize that that's why he mentioned it at all. 

Ooh, there's a manga where there's something similar to Michael? I'll have to look that up later...

XD Alex and Jonny arguing about apples. 

Ok, so all the statements we're hearing ARE for reals. I kinda assumed but good to have it confirmed.

They used to hang out together!!? Work function curry nights!! ;-; 

Ya Ya! Who made the leitners!?

"You are assuming a book needs to be written" ...ok then. (but it has to have been created somehow??? Did they just spring fully formed from the powers? why? And why take the form of books?)

Alex's mischievous laugh about whether jon has friends *trembles in fear*

Yes!! Micheal is so good! I'm so happy they love him too! Yesyes! His laugh! 

Ah Yes!! Mary kaey was so creepy! 

XD yes yes yes fatigue was written on zero sleep, I knew it! 

Akskdjdkd I love them so much. Also, I've looked up Michaels voice actor luke booys and he does some other horrory type sketches n stuff and I kiiinda want to do a little animatic with some of those but it's Michael like annoying some poor soul lost in his halls... I think that'd be fun. I wonder if anyone's done that yet? If so someone send me the links I neeeed iiitt :3

Season 2 summary:

Uuuuu ya so this season was really good. I kinda listened to it in bursts of about ten episodes every couple weeks and then have been saving up the reactions to post later so these are usually going up about a week or so after I actually listened to the episode just FYI. 

I also do have a lot of spoilers cause I can't keep myself away from fanfic and people don't always tag for spoilers and I kiiinda wana know what's coming beforehand anyway? Idk it's hard man I get very stressed about what might happen and then also listening to too much at a time is too spooky for my poor little heart so I gotta read the less spooky fanfic to fulfill the hyperfixation you see. (If anyone has fanfic with spoilers only up to season 2 that'd be great btw) 

Anyway, I try not to take spoiler type stuff into account unless I'm just so sure of it I can't really not acknowledge that I know about it. 

Also, can I just talk about Michael for a minute?? Cause he's such a unique character? And I guess maybe there are other characters like him but I haven't ever seen one -tho to be fair tma is only like the third horror thing I've ever really got into (the other two are the SCP Foundation in its various forms and Little Nightmares. Hence why I keep making reference to SCP it's really the only thing I know similar to this.) But he's such a cool concept!!? Like someTHING that still has a personality? He's so not human? Like I get what he says but also I don't really? Idk im pretty sure he's an avatar right? Right?? Idk if that means he was a person at some point? But all this to say that he is probably the most inhuman character I've come across so far and I'm trying to figure out what it is about him that's so "other" to me? Like... I don't really know what Micheal's deal is? he seems to want to be sort of a neutral mischief-maker but also it seems like he keeps getting invested. But also I just love the way he talks about himself. Like he's a monster that has a personality and is fully intelligent but isn't just evil but isn't neutral either and certainly isn't benevolent. Like he's so complex and just,,,, the idea of a "thing" that's got a personality?? I love it? Kind of like dryads or spirits of things? Like the idea that after a long time things gain personality just by existing? Not that that's what Michael is necessarily? but that same sort of concept applies to him I think. Like the way he IS the maze and wants to help but wants to just watch but wants to kill them all. He's just so interestinggggggg. (And another vision of what jon could become?)

 also "es Mentiras" is a beautiful name 💕

So are him and not-Sasha avatars? Not-Sasha also seems completely inhuman and I was under the impression that avatars were (or used to be) human? Or are they like personifications of their power? Do all the powers have personifications of themselves. not-Sasha seems even less human than Michael? Like she seems to just really genuinely enjoy causing fear? Tho I guess we didn't really get to hear a lot of her. She just seemed kinda gleefully angry most of the time we heard from her. Was she... Human once!???

Anyway. Also, can I just talk about leitners line about jon belonging to the eye!!? Just..*chefs kiss* hnnnngg I need more jon grappling with that. I just need more everyone dealing with the fallout post all of the finallies ok? I still need more of jon angsting over his worms scars and stuff and now I also need jon freaking out about belonging to a fear god power thing. 

Also Martin! Is Martin ok? He sure did a lot of yelling which he doesn't usually? Look I love him and he actually thinks before he acts (unlike SOME people *looks at jon*) and he writes poetry and it is pretty good poetry ok!! And he cares about everyone and just wants a happy ending and aaaaa😭

Petition to get some statements from Martin's pov tho? I mean that's not gonna happen cause Jon's the archivist but I want more martin pov!! Maybe we can get some of his poem tapes??? Pls????? 

I feel so bad for Tim. It sounds like he's kinda fallen into despair.

Also Elias!!? Is showing his spooky side!!? He can control cameras and beat a man to death with a pipe!!? This is his "place of powerr"!!? I am afeared!!? At least jon knows he shouldn't trust him now. Oh jeez, I wonder if jon will listen back to the tape and know what happened. Thhhatsss rough. Oh dear, I hope he doesn't feel guilty cause Leitner did keep trying to hurry him and now everyone thinks it was him. Even martin thinks he did it? Wich like I kinda want to hear more of his thoughts on that? How much does he believe that jon did it? Tim certainly seems pretty certain but he's a bit biased and cynical right now so. 

And they were in the maze for DAYS? 

Now I need martin recovering from being stuck with Tim in Michaels maze for days being angry and worried and hungry etc... Dksjdksa knowing jon could be dying RIGHT NOW and there's nothing he can do. Please someone give me the fic links if this exists!! I've already written like 5 drabbles based entirely on spoilers/other fics (which I'll probably post (w/ links to their inspirations) once I'm caught up and can make sure I'm not just completely demolishing cannon lol. 

Leitner didn't even scream or yell or anything when he was murdered. Literally the chillest dude ever. F

Overall super great, Elias is terrifying, let's dive into the next season!!! I've got 2 seasons to finish in like, less than 2 or so weeks(?) if I wana be caught up by season 5 hhhh,,,

Better get started I guess. 

[birlcholtz]

Ch. 8: come home (to you, to us)

ao3 | ch. 1 | part of the zimbits airport au

About half an hour later, Bitty hears the garage door open and close, and then Coach and Suzanne’s muffled voices. Nobody comes upstairs to find him, so he disregards it and goes back to rambling in the old group chat that Shitty had insisted on keeping around— even once he, Lardo, Ransom, and Holster had graduated and Bitty was the only group chat member still at Samwell, Shitty claimed it was ‘his duty’ to give them updates on what was going on.

Bitty: i mean what am i even supposed to do now that i don’t have hockey as motivation to exercise

Bitty: running is gross

Bitty: punching bags are just.... ew, not good

Bitty: weights are meh

Bitty: i can’t just do squats???

Ransom: well jack’s solution to that problem was to join a pro hockey team

Bitty: i’m not getting paid to exercise

Holster: u should like

Holster: join an amateur league

Holster: or smth

Lardo: dude just accept that you can’t afford a car and public transportation is expensive and you’re gonna have to walk everywhere

Lardo: gettin those 10000 steps a day

Lardo: millennial exercise

Shitty: stop being depressing in the group chat LARDO

Shitty: (but she’s right)

Bitty: ew reality

Ransom: can u get a gym membership?

Bitty: not until i have money

Holster: burn calories by running away from your problems

Holster: zoom

Shitty: hOLSTER

Holster: shits ur literally still in school u don’t have to deal with this yet

Shitty: truE BUT STILL

Holster: u small bean

Shitty: ...bitch???

After that, the group chat moves at lightspeed, and Bitty’s content just to sit back and watch it happen. He counts no less than eight invocations of Holster’s age and size advantage and three of Shitty’s mustache. It’s only when there are soft footsteps in the hallway and a knock on Bitty’s door that he realizes how long he’s been sitting there watching his fellow alums (oh God) descend into a near brawl.

“Hey, Dicky,” his mother says when he gets up and opens the door. “Dinner’s ready, if you want it now. If not, we’ll save some for you and you can heat it up when you’re hungry. Your father told me you’re having a rough day.”

Bitty sighs. “It’s been a trying one,” he offers, and Suzanne nods in acknowledgement. He takes the now-empty plate of pralines, since there’s no point in leaving it in his room, and they walk downstairs in silence.

Dinner is interesting in that it’s so different from usual. Suzanne is willing to avoid making Bitty talk, but for once it’s Coach who carries the conversation. He carefully steers it away from Bitty at every opportunity, which is nice of him, but Bitty is completely verbal, he’s just... well, he’s tired. The tears left him feeling dried-up, almost, and Bitty doesn’t have enough energy to be emotional. He probably should’ve taken a nap before dinner, but it’s too late now. He can just go to bed early and hope that sleep serves as a reset of some sort— maybe he won’t wake up feeling so drained.

“Oh, and I’m hoping you can tell me what happened to all of those pralines that we made,” Suzanne says to Coach with a faint smile as she takes the third-to-last piece of garlic bread. “Funnily enough, a lot of them seemed to have vanished by the time I got home.”

“That was mostly me,” Bitty speaks up. His parents glance over at him in surprise, probably because he hasn’t been saying anything. “But Coach started it.”

When Suzanne looks over at Coach to confirm or deny that, he just shrugs.

“Well, alright then,” she says, and moves on while Bitty is still wondering if he should take the opportunity in front of him. She’s asking Coach about the plans for new locker rooms at the high school before he can say anything else.

Bitty finishes his food in silence, and then sits and stares at the table, not wanting to go to bed with the prospect of telling his mother still hanging over his head, but not wanting to say the words either. There’s no lead-in this time, no convenient discussion of roommates that he can use to bring it up. So how?

Coach must have assumed that Bitty’s not going to tell Suzanne tonight, because he’s still determinedly talking at length about how the team will have more locker space to store their gear. He’s only just started extolling the virtues of the new lighting when Bitty folds up his napkin and sets it neatly on the placemat. When he stands up, both of his parents look at him in surprise, and the force that he pushed his chair back with probably was surprising.

Bitty picks up his plate and cup to take to the dishwasher before saying, “Mom, I’m gay.”

The words come out calmer than he’d expected.

Suzanne blinks.

“I’m gay,” he repeats. “And I’m dating Jack Zimmermann.”

Then he puts his cup and plate in the sink and goes up to his room and shuts the door and sits on his bed and squeezes Señor Bun’s paw with one hand while he unlocks his phone with the other and composes three texts and sends them off.

The first one is to last year’s starting line. Chowder, Nursey, Dex, Whiskey, and Tango. Bitty reserves more personal things for this group chat instead of the team-wide one— not just because he was the captain, but also because there are only so many people he actually wants to vent about his life to. Hey y’all, just came out to my mom, send good vibes my way pls.

The second is to the same alumni groupchat that only just finished calming the fuck down. sooo now my mom knows im gay and that i have a boyfriend, am currently waiting in my room hoping that when i come back down things will be ok. left b4 she cld react.

The third is to Jack. told my mom, went to my room without waiting to see how she reacted. gonna go back down and see what the fallout is in like half an hour. i have a bag packed just in case, i’ll let you know if i’m coming over.

Jack responds immediately, as do other people who’d gotten one of his first two texts, but Bitty answers Jack’s first.

Jack: I have a rental car if you need a ride. Just let me know.

Bitty: i don’t think i will, but i’ll call and give u an update once i know more

Bitty: rn i’m just killing time

Jack: I’ll call you in an hour to check in if I don’t hear from you before then.

Bitty: talk to u in a lil bit

The two group chats that he’s texted have blown up over the course of his short conversation with Jack, mostly expressions of hope from the frogs and tadpoles and calm texts from the other alums meant to reassure. Bitty sends the frogs and tadpoles a quick thank you before turning to the other group chat.

Bitty: i have a contingency plan if things go horribly bad

Bitty: but my dad is ok w it

Bitty: so im giving him and my mom time to talk before i go back down there

Lardo: i think that’s a good idea

Holster: Pls. keep us updated about what’s happening.

Holster: Ransom is in the shower but he says if you need help w. anything hit us up.

Holster: (I concur)

Lardo: same, i already said u can crash on our couch, it’s ok if u want to stay here for a while

Lardo: but if ur dad is fine w it then i’m sure ur mom will be too

Shitty: ^^^^^

Shitty: dw

Shitty: #smhgotyourback

Holster: shitty i have been a college graduate for over a year and i’m crying over a gd hashtag.

Holster: why

Shitty: u know it’s true brah

Bitty’s stomach hurts when he walks downstairs, nauseous anticipation. He feels tense. His shoulders are hunched practically up to his ears.

He drops his bag in the front hallway before turning and walking into the kitchen. Suzanne and Coach are there, still sitting at the table. There are three glasses of sweet tea. Without that clue, Bitty wouldn’t have thought that they’d gotten up at all.

“Please sit down, Dicky,” Suzanne says when she sees him standing in the doorway.

Bitty sits, and for a little while, that’s what they do. Sit in silence. Until she sighs and says, “I will admit that whenever I pictured my future family, I always thought that my child would be straight.” She looks tired. “Although I can’t say I’m exactly surprised, either.”

Coach takes a sip of his tea.

“I’m not going to pretend to understand, because I don’t,” Suzanne says. “But I love you. You’re still my son, Eric Richard Bittle Junior. You still bake and you still skate and you’re still going to Boston to find a job in a week. None of that has changed.”

“No, it hasn’t,” Bitty agrees quietly.

“And I don’t want you going halfway across the country thinking I don’t love you, or you’re disowned, because neither of those things are true. I won’t lie to you and say it’s a great idea to tell the rest of the family— I’m sure you’ve already thought about that— but when it comes down to it, family you see twice a year aren’t as important as family you’re with every day, and I’m sure you know that too.” She drinks some of her tea. “I just hope that home doesn’t become such a painful place for you that you can never come back. Even if it’s just for a visit.”

“I haven’t left yet, Mama.”

Suzanne sniffs. Coach silently gets up and brings back a box of tissues, setting it on the table equidistant from his wife and his son. “That is true, isn’t it. I’m not letting you leave without trying that pot roast.”

Bitty smiles a little. “I don’t think that’ll be a problem.”

Bitty: it went ok

Chowder: that’s great!!!! congratulations!!!!!!!

Nursey: good to know

Tango: are u still coming up to mass. for the summer or are u staying there??

Bitty: still coming to boston!

Dex: see you soon then!

Whiskey: :) :) :)

Bitty: she’s not thrilled but she’s ok w it

Lardo: fuckin called it

Holster: excuse u u did not call anything

Lardo: umm yes i did???

Ransom: that’s good to hear bitty, we’re v happy for u except holster is busy being irritated at lardo? apparently?

Shitty: congrats brah, that’s a big thing you just did

Shitty: totally celebrating when u get here

Bitty: so overall everything went fine, my mom is not exactly ecstatic but she’s happy i told her

Bitty: oh and my parents want to meet u since i mentioned u were staying in madison for a little while?

Bitty: ur officially invited to the bittle residence on tuesday for pot roast

Jack: I’ll be there. How do you feel?

Bitty: lighter i guess?

Bitty: it hasn’t sunk in that i’m rlly out to both of my parents and it went ok

Jack: It’ll sink in eventually.

Bitty: yup

Jack: And you also never have to come out to your parents again.

Bitty: that’s a definite plus

Jack: Go to sleep early okay? You sound exhausted.

Bitty: i am

Bitty: yeah i’m gonna do that now. gn, ttyl, love you <3

Jack: I love you too. <3 <3 <3 <3

Jack: Talk to you tomorrow.

Bitty: :)

Jack: :-)

[itspawssible]

2017

Not only was it a rough six months, it was a rough whole year. 2017 was one of the worse years of my life overall. It started when someone vandalized my brand new car, two days later, someone stole my MacBook at school, three weeks later, I broke up with my best friend whom I dated for two wonderful years, it then followed losing my dog. I was denied financial aid and will now have to pay $4,000 every three months for the next three years, I failed my praxis exams, I almost did not pass Spring semester because of stress, I set my hopes up for someone too high, only to be let down time after time, I cried every single day, I confessed to my mother I have been suicidal since I was thirteen, health issues arise, my panic attacks got severely worse, I had never felt so alone as much as I did this year. I hit the lowest of rock bottoms. And when my mind constantly tells me to give up, no one will want you, you won't succeed, just end it right here, its hard not to listen. 

I remember praying to God and asking him to give me strength, give me strength in order to overcome this dark cloud over me. I prayed for this so much. 

In July of 2017, I told myself that I will no longer be indulged in negative thoughts. I wanted to let go of everything that made me unhappy whether that be thoughts, things or people. I did not change from day to night. In fact, it’s December 2017 and I am still trying to practice what I preached. 

My main goal was to learn how to be alone. I wanted to be content with being on my own, doing things by myself, going grocery shopping on my own, driving on my own, eating on my own, spending Sundays on my own...etc..

I was doing just that and for the first time this whole year, it felt incredible. I was slowly getting over things. I was learning to move on, to not depend on other’s for my happiness. I was ignoring my mind when it started putting me down, I was enjoying the simplicity of just living my own life, for me and no one else. 

There were times however, where I did relapse. I fell back into old habits, old ways, old thoughts. My mind was an alarm clock on negative thoughts repeat, and the snooze button wasn’t working. I watched myself pulling the roots out of my own garden which I had grown so patiently. 

Thankfully, this relapse did not last long.

2017 was the worse year of my life, but I am thankful for how much it has helped me grow. I know it sounds cliché, but it really did help me grow as a person. I have matured, Im not as naive as I once was, I am more independent, social, and stronger. 

The best thing that came out of everything is that with hardships comes the pay off. I am sooooooo incredibly grateful for my friends. I got closer to them as never before. My relationship with my mother improved ecstatically. I love everyone who is in my life currently, and I’ll always love those who no longer are in it. It took me sooo long (and so many tears)to realize. my worth, to realize that it’s okay to be alone, and as cliché as it sounds THINGS WILL GET BETTER. No your life won't change from 1 day to the other, but little by little you will stop feeling so worthless, you'll start saying I WILL, rather than I can’t. I promise you from someone who's been in the low, that it will eventually get better you just have to be around to see it. 

It is the last day of this stressful year, and I can now say, I love myself a little more and I hate myself a little less. 

This is to those who think it won't get better, it will, sooner or later it will.