#this started as a doodle but I lost control of myself

[spin-attaxx]

Voidica can be a curious child.

[clockwayswrites]

Little Living Bones Part 2

Part 1 WC: 816 CW: necromancy

As soon as he could stand, Danny scrambled back to the teleportation sigil he had scratched into the dirt when he first arrived in Madagascar. He was always sure to have an out, and he really needed one right then. The tiny skeleton was clutched against his chest. Danny could feel the thin rib bones moving as if the little creature was breathing.

Somehow he made it back through the winding streets to the hotel he was staying at. He locked the door, set the skeleton on the tiny desk that was shoved under the window, and backed up as far as he could in the shoebox of a room.

“Okay,” Danny whispered, his voice mostly lost in the hum of the window unit. His eyes were locked with the hallow skull of the little gecko. “So you’re alive now. Again. You’re alive again.”

The gecko tilted it’s head. Their head? They were alive now, they weren’t a thing anymore.

“You’re alive and I did that. Okay, right.” His hands were shaking. When did he start shaking so badly? “That’s… alright. Guess you’re my responsibility now? Good thing you don’t need to eat, I have enough trouble feeding myself.”

His laugh was stilted in heavy humidity of the air. Danny could feel the nerves bubbling up under the sound, threating to turn it hysterical if only he could get any air in his lungs. When had he stopped being able to breath?

Danny sat down hard on the ground, tucked between the edge of the bed and the wall. When Danny had managed to get his breathing back under control and uncurled, he found himself face to skull with the little gecko. Impossibly, the little one looked worried.

Exhausted, Danny rested his head on his knees. “I guess I’m not being fair to you. Here I brought you back to life and I’ve just been ignoring you. I’m sorry little one.”

The little lizard moved in such a way that their bones gave a little rattle. It was kind of a pleasant sound. Danny smiled, just a little, and reached out to run a finger over the skull.

“I don’t know if you’ll, um, last—” though the idea of lizard falling apart to death again made Danny’s breath hitch again “—but even if you’re only around for a little, I guess you should have a name.”

Carefully, he picked up the skeleton and set them on his shoulder. Danny stumbled as he pulled himself up off the ground. “And I guess I should have some water.”

He pulled his dinged metal waterbottle out the side pocket of his rucksack before rooting around in the front one for his notebook. Settling on the rickety chair at the tiny desk, Danny found a blank page to write on. He tapped his pencil against the paper a few times before he he started to just list any name that came to mind.

By the time he had managed to fill most of the page with names and was just scribbling idle lines in the bottom corner, Danny was feeling frustrated. None of the names felt right. He had tried names from all over his travels, but nothing was clicking.

“Well, what name do you like?” Danny asked the gecko, who had crawled down to sit on the desk during the process.

The little thing tilted their head.

“Names, which do you like?” Danny asked again, tapping the paper.

The gecko watched the finger for a moment before waddling over and flopping down on the overlapping curves Danny had doodled in the corner.

Danny gave a tired sigh. “Sure, why not.”

-

A few months later, Danny stepped out of an alley and onto the streets of Paris. He had to consult his half legible note a few times to get to the set meeting place. The hunched, trench coat shrouded form of Constantine was easy to pick out where he was slightly tucked back in a different alleyway.

“Hey, Constantine,” Danny called out as soon as he was close enough not to draw too much other attention. The crowd was sparse, but there were still people milling about even at the late hour.

Constantine turned to greet Danny and froze— going still in a way that for the man was downright creepy. It made Danny’s hackles go up.

“What?” What was that look for? He was clean and fed and had even splurged and gotten his coat dry cleaned before meeting up with Constantine. So what if he’d been alone for several months now.

He’s fine.

He has a pet now.

“Kid,” John said slowly.

Oh, John wasn’t looking at him. His eyes were fixed on the lapels of Danny’s coat and who must be peaking out of it.

“What the hell is that, kid?”

“This is Squiggles, they/them. Constantine, Squiggles. Squiggles, Constantine. No biting, either of you.”

-----

AN: And things completes this little fic: the origins of Squiggles the Undead Gecko! And proof that Danny is a necromancer? Maybe, maybe not. This will probably by the second fic in the story, the first being done by Moku and and explaining how Danny met Constantine! You can find her first part of that in the masterpost.

Stay delightful, darlings!

Please remember that I'm no longer tagging people due to the shadow ban! If you go to the master post, you can subscribe there for update notifications!

[moondwellerthatdwells]

the moon spawn au has me by the throat, please tell me about it. Feel free to rant, I will read it if you do. Also feel free not to answer!

Everytime someone asked me/noticed/or even look at stuff about my au i go ajsjsjsjsjsjjshdjsjjsjdjejs, i will be putting it under the cut incase I got on the dashboard of someone who doesn't want to scroll through a whole wall! (an extra one year old doodle for you)

In order to keep myself from exploding i will put in one section and explained some stuff because I dont know where to start

The protectiveness of Moonstone, more stuff to do with Cassandra.

(Note that i will call the Moonstone, the rock She/it, you can call her whatever i just use this)

One thing to be clear Moonstone doesnt like Cass, no not one bit. Like previous posts i mentioned that Its constantly and slowly draining away Cassandra's energy and therefore life, that's how desperate Moonstone is to get away.

But! She likes Varian! Why? Well Varian is a perfect holder to her, he's in a state of panic and is easy to influence, and he's quick, and has a good relationship with the Sundrop! That's all she needs! She's keeping this one!

So it became protective, of its host, because if this one dies then it'll never reunite with its sun. Time to fix plot holes!

Plot hole number one: How did Varian stay alive, wandering for weeks, cold, alone in a forest?

Moonstone drains the life around her to gain energy, keep em going, she's like Varian's life support, or more accurately his own version of adrenaline. There's probably a trail of dead plants, birds and animals in their path.

Plot hole number two: where is Zhan Tiri! And Cassandra!

Cassie's injured and later on arrested when Rapunzel and the gang found her while looking for the missing alchemist. She's unconscious the whole time, woke up in a special cell because Rapunzel doesn't want to put her in the dungeons.

Zhan Tiri stuck close to Cass, she's not completely useless yet! If things get out of hands then possession is the way to go(also Zhan Tiri cant stay near Varian for more than 5 seconds without alerting the Moonstone and blasted away by the sheer power of "DONT TOUCH THE CHILD")

Plot hole number three: what happened after Varian found his way back?

Previous post! Sun managed to soothe the Moon temporarily. And right afterward Varian regains his consciousness, looks around, looks at himself, his bloody hand and then faints.

I like to keep the classic cartoon humor breaks.

They can't remove the Moonstone out of his hand, and it goes crazy whenever Rapunzel is not near. Still gotta use a lost incantation to calm it down. Now where to find it...

And how did black rocks sprout directly from Varian's body?

Under his clothes there's a thin layer of black rock armor . He cant control it, the Moonstone just does whatever she wants, even when Varian is used to the Moon powers he still cant control it.

[numbuh424]

Hello! I really love your Death Note art!! Especially your blog header. I saw it and thought it was so cool how you copied the manga style!! Your posts about it say they're you're Death Note OC? Do you have anymore info you can share about them or previous posts about them? Are they a Death Note user? I'm really curious cause the art is so cool and I love reading about people's OCs. That's all, thanks for all the cool art you make!

Hello!! Thank you so much for enjoying my art 🙏 And thank you for asking about my OC! I've never really talked about her publicly before just cause I've never really... Made an OC before? So this ask made me really happy 🥹 I'll try to keep this short but it definitely won't be lol because I don't know when I'll ever get to talk about her again.

Years ago I had a plot stewing in my head for a story where Near shuts down the L successor program, steps down as L, and puts the title to rest. It takes place a year after the A-Kira story, which is around 10 years after Death Note's main story.

The idea was that someone began exposing Wammy's for their covered-up misdeeds and the fact that this is where successors of L were being raised. Because of that information being leaked, Wammy's House becomes unsafe for everyone in it.

OC talk under the cut 🙏

Apart from needing an antagonist who leaks all this information, I also needed a character who was there during the years Near wasn't to fill in the gaps for him and lead him to the culprit.

All the major information about her is here on this OC character profile I made a while back. Lee honestly began as a general persona/self-insert that I use whenever I want to draw myself. I still often use her as my persona when I make silly doodles and whatnot. However, as a Death Note OC, I've really lost control of her and she has just gone on to take a life of her own lol

Lee comes from Wammy's House and entered when she was 12, a lot later than the rest. She first arrived only months before L died and Near and Mello left to hunt Kira. Though gifted with photographic memory, she could never really make it into the successor program through that alone. Despite this, she dedicated her years at Wammy's to pursuing the title against all odds, only to come up short every single time until she finally graduated. Knowing she wasted years pursuing the title, she grew bitter towards L and the program and left the orphanage to pursue an art career like she originally wanted.

She became an art teacher and kept her distance from anything related to the crime/police/investigators. Unfortunately, as fate would have it (fate being me, the person controlling everything about her life), she became a witness to a crime where she used her skills to draw the culprit. Her sketch is what gets the man arrested and what causes the police to recruit her. Though she always said she'd abstain from detective work after wasting her time on it at Wammy's, she wants to be useful so she agrees to work part-time lowkey.

She doesn't like having the spotlight on her, as years of fighting for it in her youth have worn out her motivation for being seen. She keeps her past under lock and key and lies about it constantly, but her memory allows her to keep track of her lies easily.

Her role in the story is that her past identity (her real name and lived experiences) is stolen and used to frame her as the person leaking information about the orphanage - an "insider tells all" who wants to destroy L, Quillish Wammy, and the orphanage. Because Lee is so detached from her past, at first she lets the culprit just use her old identity. It's not her anymore, anyway, so why bother her about it? It's only when the culprit starts murdering people and throws her current identity under the bus that she starts sweating. There's a criminal investigation underway and she's their only suspect.

Near and his team know she's not behind any of this; they're really the only ones who know for sure because of his ties to Wammy's (it's kind of a reverse L and Light situation where he's sure it's not her but everyone else is out to get her lol). However, she can definitely help point them in the direction of the person who's behind it all.

The problem is Lee's animosity towards the L program extend to Near, who is the only L she really knows considering the real L died a few months after she arrived at the orphanage. Near tries to bring her on board for the case since she's the best lead they could possibly ask for, but because of her distaste towards L and the orphanage, she refuses to join at first. The culprit going one step further and framing her for murder is what pushes her to finally go with Near and his team because her life has fallen apart and the police are coming to get her.

She really doesn't wanna help L and joins mostly for self preservation. She kinda gets a kick out of the fact that she has information the world's greatest detective can't get from anyone else. It's childish of her, but what's Death Note without a bit of childishness.

Also, to answer your other question, she's not a Death Note user. I certainly intended for her to be back then (hence the art I made for her where she has the notebook) but the story I came up with has undergone dramatic changes since. She still very much works with pen and paper, just not in that way anymore lol

That's most of the basic information about her and her role in the story I may or may not ever write. I honestly have the broad strokes mapped out already, including the ending.

Spoilers (for a story that only exists in my head lol), Near has Wammy's House demolished and has a new institution built for the kids. The successor program is dissolved and he has Lee head the art department since she was already an art teacher before everything happened.

Thanks so much for asking about her 🙏

[kotls-unveiled]

CHAPTER 1: The Police is Not Looking for me, obviously.

Oomph! Owwww... That hurt.. Pathfinders are hard... Anyway. I shook my head and sat up, scanning my surroundings. I think I'm in... What did dad vall this place again? The... United Kingdom? Yea! The United Kingdom! My feet found ground as I shakily stood up. I had landed in some sort of alley, a big tower was nearby with a clock on it. That was, if I remember correctly, big ben? Why would they name a clock...

Shaking my head, my feet moved forward to... Somewhere. I dunno. I paused for a moment and dug through the leather messenger bag dad had given me, pulling out a device called "tablet". It had this map application that elf tablets didn't need. Elves had pathfinders, so maps weren't really needed.

I clicked the application and it opened up to an aerial view of the location I was in. The tablet nearly slipped out of my hands. There was no way I could possibly read this. It was just a mess of green, blue, dark green, dark blue, and a bunch of names of places that I didn’t even know how to pronounce.

“Lon-dan?” I mumbled to myself, trying to remember what my father told me this place was called. It was smaller than I expected. Cramped, with so many more people than I dreamed of existing, walking around as if they hated the world. I was glad I landed in an alleyway; those people looked like there ready to argue with anyone, no matter what they did.

The air was was crisp and earthy; which was strange, since everywhere, it was paved. I pulled on my jacket as a gust of wind inundated my senses. It was too cold here. Only a few minutes, and I already missed the controlled temperatures of the Lost Cities. Of home.

I stepped out into the street. As if on cue, I felt raindrops on my head. Immediately, everyone around me started saying an unintelligible, angry string of words. I had the urge to do the same. I reached into my bag, digging around past my notebook to no avail. Oh Mallowmelt, I thought to myself. I forgot to bring that thing that blocks rain… What’s it called again? Oh! An umbrella!

Regardless, I couldn’t stay in an alley the entire time. I had a mission to do: to find the girl. I reached in my bag again, this time for my notebook. It was a simple, leather bound notebook. Small enough to fit in my bag that it wouldn't take up much space, big enough to write notes and doodle on without any problems. When I opened the notebook, my hands immediately started flying across the pages *“Strange world. Many people. Big tower with a clock that has a name (Why does it need a name?)“*

After, I shoved the notebook back into my bag and sauntered forward to finally start my quest. Hmmm, where should I start? The application was pretty useless, since it was just blobs of green and blue and names I couldn't pronounce. Right! I was surrounded by other people! I could ask them! My eyes immediately scanned for a person that I could talk to. I settled for an old woman with kind eyes that didn’t seem to busy.

I sprinted up to her, flattening myself against the outside of a store, eager to keep away from the rain. The woman didn’t notice me, so I sighed and abandoned my comfortable shelter to talk to her.

She smiled at me kindly. “Is there something I can help you with?”

She bent over to acomodate my lack of height. I nodded vigorously, finally glad to have someone to help me out. “I’m looking for a girl who can read minds. She’s two years younger than me.”

The woman laughed raucously. When she looked down to see me earnest, she shook her head. “Oh, you silly lad. People can’t read minds! Where would your parents be?”

I stumbled over my words as I spoke. “They’re busy.”

I tried to be convincing, but the woman was suspicious. “Are you in some sort of trouble? Is someone following you? Young lad, you need to come with me to the police station. They’ll get you all sorted out and home with your parents.”

My stomach churned. How do you explain to a human that actually you’re an elf and reading minds is normal and elves have existed a good long while until they cut off contact and went into hiding because humans become power hungry without tipping the delicate balance that was the world? I didn’t know, so I made a much more reckless decision. I ran.

My legs were too short to actually get very far, but the old woman only sighed and shook her head defeatedly at me, which I counted as a win. But I realized that whatever I was doing right now wasn’t working. Apparently, humans didn’t react too well to threatening their idea of science. So, I had to be subtler. But, as I stared at the massive, highly populated city in front of me, a fear that I was never going to find the girl washed over me.

I brought out my notebook, ducking into another alley to avoid splattering the pages with water. In possibly the messiest handwriting possible to elf, I wrote, *“Do not mention telepathic children. Humans will laugh and you and possibly call the police.”* I smiled, satisfied with my writing. I knew no one else could read it, even if they peered over to see what I was writing. The elven runes were a secret code that only I could understand. Though, they'd probably think I was weird.. Since humans are… Humans.

I shivered and rubbed my hands together, the cold raindrops finally soaking through my supposed to be thick coat. Even in the cold weather, I was determined. Sure, this mission had become a million times harder now that I’d actually met a human, but I had a plan and a goal, and that was more than enough.

—Luna and Alex

[otaku553]

How goes the fma x albedo fic? I hope that doesn't sound pushy, I'm genuinely curious. And in that vein, do you have any little drabbles you may have written or want to write? Especially with your recent kny ocs/yourself and your siblings. That'd be super fun to read about! Your art AND your writing is so freaking good, the moment I see you've posted something new on your blog I'm clicking it so fast. Same with your ao3 account ❤️

Thank you for the kind words!!! Currently not working on any fics, since I just came out of 10 weeks of summer research where my days began at 8 am and ended at 9 pm for probably less than minimum wage hahaha (doing research is a Bit Sad but I get a whole month to relax before classes start again so thank goodness for that)

I do however!!! Have a lot of plans!!! If you’re interested you can read more below!

Plans include but are not limited to:

Finally working on Homuncular Nature again!! I definitely do have a lot of plans and cool scenes playing out in my head for the next chapter, it’ll just come down to when I actually put pen to paper (or stylus to iPad) to actually organize and write them all. The road block I think is that I have seen neither Albedo nor fmab very recently and all my concrete ideas are for around the 30 episode mark for fmab, the turning point with the first actual confrontation against father and the subsequent Briggs arc.

Rewriting Ten Thousand Maple Leaves! A lot of people have been very kind but I think I missed the mark with my first chapter to be honest. My writing has gotten a lot wordier and less succinct, which feels like I’m filling a chapter more with fluff and unnecessary description than actual content. I think I also dislike how I characterized Sanemi and how quickly Kazuha was willing to agree with things. Writing both of them is kind of a difficult challenge tbh! I think in rewriting it I want to give back to Kazuha more of his vagrant role in the games, where he is avoiding the law for reasons somewhat out of his control.

Ebisu siblings content! I think it might be fun to try having them interact with more of the canon characters in kny but I also think there’s some value in a complete sort of outsider point of view when inserting characters into a piece of media. I feel like whenever I see self inserts I see a lot of ocs making themselves indispensable and making meaningful relationships with existing characters that way and that’s totally valid! That’s a lot of what I do for crossovers as well. I think when it comes to my own ocs though, I want them to feel grounded in some form and the reality of it is that none of the characters I make based on myself or real people are that impressive or remarkable. But I also think there’s a lot of value in showing smaller scale things outside of the main interactions and plot to show that even though we aren’t remarkable, we still have our own meaningful connections and ideologies and stories :) in the end the Ebisu siblings are a lot more visual though so I may just continue making doodles and art without writing anything haha

Kirby & Meta Knight ageswap AU: I was mostly doing this on my ask-gikabi sideblog in short form comics, but I lost sight of what I wanted to do after making the discord and starting to interact with some of the people who followed it. I think a lot of people are inspired and have their own very cool ideas that I wanted to take into account but then eventually it was no longer my story or the story I wanted to tell, which is why I’m thinking of restarting it as a fic. This one is still in very rough idea stage though, I have honestly no clue how I’m even going to begin organizing it

Yanfei ace attorney crossover: this one’s just pure crack lmao I would definitely write it as crack taken seriously but I think this is fun to explore just for small ideas that pop up every now and then, i.e. yanfei is semi-immortal because she’s half adeptus so it would be Really Funny to me if she showed up in dgs era, got her attorney’s license, went into hiding after it became obvious that she wasn’t aging, and then re-emerged after rebranding herself as her own daughter or granddaughter. That, and I have a lot of fun imagining someone as pragmatic as yanfei trying to get through the sheer chaos of aa despite being otherworldly

Continuing winter weather advisory: I got to a really good point in that fic and was rereading it today like,,, damn I wrote that? And it would be fun to see where I planned on going with it so I do want to also try working on that a bit if I can

Kazuha & Kunikuzushi role swap au: this is something I posted about a Long While ago but it’s an idea I continue to be fascinated with :) I especially enjoy how these two characters could have had completely different roles and personalities depending on how their pasts happened (with wanderer being so nice and turning so bitter and kazuha growing up so spoiled (for lack of a better word) and turning out so weary and yet kind

Link click and mha crossover: this one is honestly just a very recent idea but I think it would be fun to make a drabble on how lightime photo studio would be able to continue operating even in another world and the trouble they might get into for illegal quirk usage and what using cheng xiaoshi’s powers in a world where being able to tell the future is canonically possible would entail

I have!! So many ideas!! And not enough time or motivation to actually write any of them most of the time :’)

But I’m very glad to hear that you enjoy them and look forward to my posts!! :D I really hope I can work on some of these over the last month of summer vacation that I have :)

[orphanlavinia]

I’m heavily medicated

It feels as if I’ve been defeated.

I was so happy with five pills a day.

Feels like such a step backwards or several

My psych finally broke down and gave me benzodiazepines, I pick em up today

I can’t sleep my body is exhausted and my eyes are closing but this feeling in my legs is killing me at night.

It feels like hell

I have to kinda journal somewhere so I guess here it is almost nobody knows this account is mine.

Thank you internet.

Anyways I’ve spend these past few days locked in the bathroom binge smoking weed.

It all started really when I got diagnosed with did. I was in very serious denial and what my brain did out of boredom or god knows what is flood me with memories that I would have rather not remember.

Is it my brain or miss Steiner? We don’t know

The portrayal of this illness in TikTok and shit tends to be too cartoony and I didn’t relate with it at all until I found other lesser known people that talked about it.

And then there it was, symptoms that I have that are DID.

The blackouts, the feeling of not having control in my body.

The amnesia

All of them.

And then everything inside me got worse as I watch my life outside of me getting better and I cannot join in cuz the past pulls. Hard and cruel.

And I am so tired

I have so much work to do and I will

I am just so tired all the time

My neuropathic pain medication got switched and it has caused me a great deal of physical pain.

Also just fyi I am in clinical rest.

I do have to do some stuff do.

Everything is very hard I just want to be alone and not think and not be here maybe?

I’m leaving angel alone tho

He very much understands

But it’s still not cool

I am very frustrated, I feel like I am not going anywhere and the more I dig in my history even tho it answers why I get rabid, furious.

I was the kid, I was too young, I was modeled to be the perfect victim, I was too naive, too autistic, too mentally ill.

It is not fair that I have to carry the pain and the hurt that was given to me until this point. It isn’t fair that I’ve lost a decade or decades of my life because of everything that has been done to me.

And for them it was a fucking Tuesday man.

How’s that?

It’s not fair that I met angel and I felt like Molly in the last unicorn.

Why do you come to me now that I am all broken and used? Why did t you come earlier?

I feel broken, defective.

I keep making plans for a healthy sane woman or whatever I am

But no, I am sick and broken and don’t function like someone whole.

So I gave up, I’m trying to follow my clinical rest, sleep and rest, I haven’t dared doodle or go get some sun but I’m working on it, I am taking half a pharmacy, forcing myself to eat even if all food looks like fucking poison,

I am in extreme burnout, I am audhd, have a very serious depression, I have bpd, I have did….

I have more stuff cuz I’m just god’s favorite

But I guess this is a journey or acceptance and exploration.

I am having coffee cuz it makes me happy tho i shouldn’t.

I think I should stop writing here, see you next time, void.

[cyberfairyblog]

Cyberweek Day 7: OC

To end cyberweek here's some tidbits about my self insert pix + selfship lore

Even though he only appeared literally THREE TIMES the whole 22 years, I still ship myself with him. I think he's cool and has a potential to be a recurring ally to the squad. Also I'm a sucker for normal laidback guy x powerful magic woman trope

Technically Coop isn't an oc but there's so much we don't know about his life, I had to make one up. After his return, Coop starts working HQ as the repair guy/mission control. One potential redesign has him look older due to the magnetite. Since he had been infected for so long and so intensely, some of the damage is permanent. That won't keep him from staying off the rails!

Coop was a child prodigy in both inventing and extreme sports, but became a small time mechanic because he didn't care much for the spotlight.

He and Pix met she was assigned a mission in Radopolis where Coop and Hacker were working on an Top Secret project for Motherboard. She was disguised as a Radster, that coop quickly deduced that she was a poser.

Coop was a single father at the time. He had broken up woth a girlfriend from a previous relationship and had full custody of Slider. Pix absolutely fell in love with the boy, he was adorable and was just as passionate about life and skating as his father. She felt bad Coop had all this responsibility, so she often visited them to help around the shop or watch over Slider. Over time Pix grew to be a regular fixture at the shop. Eventually Coop started to enjoy her presence, and one night asked her out on a date.

Pix was nervous but was convinced by her friend to give it a shot. She loved it. Coop had this calming presence that made the night bearable. He wasn't judgemental, and even nervous himself. After a few more dates they made their relationship official but kept it on the down low.

Until Hacker found out...and Oooh. He was PISSED! He had wanted to ask Pix out FIRST!

After Coop's disappearance Pix took over his duties as store owner. She wanted to know the real reason behind his disappearance. She suspected Hacker to be the one behind it but wasn't for sure. She missed coop terribly, so much she lost her taste for skating and magic. It wasn't until meeting the kids she gradually regained her sense of peace. Pix began to play old rock songs Coop gifted her with, and always made sure to pay the bills. The shop was all she had.

Until Slider found the letter inside the picture frame. Pix read and and realized Coop left to protect them. Now he was in danger, time to return the favor.

They did find Coop, but their fight wasn't over as there was still Mecha Hacker to defeat. Luckily with leftover energy from the Transformatron and sheer love for Coop, her family and friends Pix evolved to a bigger form and took Hacker straight on!

Hacker had a huge crush on Pix, in fact her choosing Coop over him was one factor into his turn to evil. But she hates him now. She used to see him as a friend, if a bit weird, so she was disappointed to discover his true nature as a selfish butthole.

Even 22 years later, Hacker still thinks he has a chance XD

Older Doodles of Pix + her and Coop as an elderly couple. They'd be the really chill grandparents XD

[biteghost]

State of Affairs: oh, it's not good. Bad, in fact!

listening music (lol)

Greetings, all! I apologize for not much communication, art or comics this month, but things were a bit out of my control! I'll cut right to the point: I had a big oopsie at the start of May, and the situation overall has not gotten much better since then.

Here's the scoop as plain as I can explain it: I dropped my external hard drive, and it no longer connected to my computer. My computer has a very tiny amount of memory (the OS capacity is less than 120GB), so I have used an external hard drive as the brain of my computer for years now. I have no back-ups either on another hard drive, older computer, or cloud service.

This external hard drive housed everything I have created and brought with me between computers since 2013. It stored all my art. All of it. My comic pages, my working files, my works-in-progress, my commission pieces, as well as gifts from friends and other artists. It had all the sessions of my at-home tabletop game 'Blueshift', which is a pretty big hit for me as I had only just finished the game. I didn't even have time to be happy the game was finished until I had to mourn a loss of it I had not anticipated.

I sent the hard drive to a data recovery company with good reviews. It had nearly 2TB of data on it, and I tried very hard not to get my hopes up that they'd be able to retrieve most of my data. Despite this, I still was disappointed by what they sent back.

To be blunt: they did not retrieve most of my data. In fact, I'd say in total they only recovered about 40%, if I am being generous. They were unable to recover any of my in-development projects (A Cure for Athanasia, Super Manifest: Steward Cycle, The Tenth, The Sword of Hours, etc), and unfortunately BACKLASH didn't make it out unscathed either. Old art files that I one day wanted to make Prints off have been lost, as well as small doodles and secret sketches which never made it online.

While reviewing the files that they managed to recover, I also noticed that whole chunks of BACKLASH's working page files have been lost or corrupted. This isn't a huge setback for the comic itself since all of BACKLASH is online to read. But it is hard and heartbreaking for me, because despite everything I did one day want to make a printed edition of BACKLASH. I wanted to hold my comic in my hands.

That dream is not impossible, but it is now much further away. I can recreate my old pages with what I currently have, but it will be a lot of extra work, and there is no getting around that.

Losing this much of my history, artistic journey, relationships and formative time as an artist has been really hard on me, emotionally and mentally. I'm very sad. It's hard to draw right now for myself. Commission work comes easily, since I am given a prompt to draw for someone else, but creative ideas are not flowing for me at the moment. My hands are frozen and dejected.

I am now waiting to get back the files that the data recovery people managed to retrieve for me (probably by tomorrow, they said), and I am looking into other places in order to get a second opinion of sorts. At this point there really is no harm in trying, and maybe a different operation might have better luck. Who knows? It may be grasping at straws, but at this point things can't get any worse than this.

When I get my data back I'll be able to finish up BACKLASH chapter 7. I want to finish it off - there are not very many pages left, and miraculously the few remaining pages are among the ones that were recovered! So that's good. I will be finishing up the chapter, and afterward BACKLASH will be taking a bit of a break. I don't know how long the hiatus will last, and I won't be making any kind of estimate. It'll take as long as I need until I feel I can put one foot in front of the other again. Maybe I'll work on something else for a while, maybe I won't draw anything. Who knows! I don't, haha.

Eventually I'll be okay, and I'll get back on the horse. Even in the midst of all this turmoil I really just want to be making comics ;_;

Until then, I just need some time. It's the only cure for this kind of problem, I think. So, I thank you for your patience, and I thank you for the love you've shown me, my work, and my characters. I couldn't be where I am and I couldn't have made all the work I have without your support and love. Thank you, thank you, thank you!!

I'll see you when I get back! Much love and many kisses, xoxo 💖💖💖

(cross-posted from patreon)

[jeweledstone]

Recent Trayte Dream I Keep Forgetting to Fucking Post

DATE: 2/4/2024

OKAY. SO.

This dream post is basically context for a doodle from that drawpile I made involving one of the newest characters in my dream lore, Trayte. Specifically this one.

For those not in the loop so to speak, Trayte was a character from a recent dream I’ve had who apparently knew me since my early childhood and had a tendency to have rather severe, sometimes violent, mental breakdowns. In the dream he was introduced in, he ends up being unwillingly transformed into Pizzelle from Sugary Spire, which caused his mental state to become even worse. He ended up blaming me for the whole incident and swore he would one day take revenge on me for it, thus becoming a re-occurring villain in later dreams.

This post is regarding one of those revenge attempts.

So basically his thought process behind this “revenge” was that since “I” turned him into the character he was now permanently stuck as, he might as well try turning me into some other SS character as a sorta ironic karma thingy. Originally he was gonna have me turned into Rosette because apparently he used to have an unreciprocated crush on me, but I guess the hate/spite became stronger than the crush cause he eventually changed his mind and decided to tf me into Pizzano.

This (technically) makes the 4th character from a media I like to invade my dreams and try to turn me into a different character from their source material.

My brain has recycled the same plot element. Four (maybe five) fucking times.

Which is what we in the industry like to call

FUCKING BULLSHIT

Anyway, back to the plot summary. Since Trayte didn’t have access to any sorta reality warping abilities like “Dream” and Elias or weird black magic like Pizzahead, he ended up taking a more science-y approach to his little revenge scenario by sneaking into my house while I’m asleep and injecting this weird serum into me that would not only turn me into Pizzano physically, but also eventually take me over mentally as well. (The mental part was so I could feel the same pain Trayte felt over his own mental struggle between keeping his old identity and slowly being taken over by Pizzelle that he’s had since his own transformation)

So that happens, and at first the serum seems to work as intended and of course, that’s got me freaking the fuck out. And it only got worse when one of the serum’s unintentional “side-effects” began to show.

You see, turns out the whole transformation thing Trayte designed…

Was contagious…

So yeah, fuck me, it’s the Spamton Virus all over again, and my family ended up being the first one to have it “spread” to them despite me trying to isolate myself from them in hopes they wouldn’t get hurt by me once I finally lost control. It was around this point I kinda-sorta blacked out as Pizzano took full control only to miraculously regain lucidity several in-dream months later.

By then the infection had spread rather exponentially and there were very few uninfected humans left. I remember at first trying to “blend in” with the other Pizzanos hoping they wouldn’t find out I wasn’t “one of them” anymore.

They… actually found out pretty quickly and I ended up being outcasted by them. The normal humans wouldn’t accept me either since even though I was lucid, I was most likely still contagious. So I ended up spending a good portion of the rest of the dream as a loner, trying to survive in this post-apocalyptic world of sorts. At one point, I was looting an abandoned grocery store looking for food and such when the plot started up again.

Turns out, some members of the government were still alive and trying desperately to find a cure or something for the infection, and they just so happened to be bunkering in a building right next to the store I was in. (No idea why they chose GROUND FUCKING ZERO outta all places to hide out at while the rest of society suffered but since when has a politician ever made an actually smart choice in their life, y’know?) I ended up encountering them while exiting the store and their first instinct was to basically take out their guns and unload a shitton of lead into me.

Now, if you know anything about JeweledStone dream journal lore, you’d know that one of my abilities as a reality bender is that I’m basically fucking invincible (or at least, I can take a lot more damage than a normal person could, there HAVE been some recent dreams where I have died from being injured and stuff) (bruh I can’t believe my own subconscious fucking nerfed me lmao) so the bullets basically did nothing but slightly annoy me a little. For some reason, they ended up becoming less hostile towards me after that. (Could just be cause I wasn’t actively being aggressive towards/trying to infect them tho tbh)

The dream ended with one of the politicians revealing that they were also invincible and trying to order for a fucking nuke to be dropped on us to prove it.

And yeah, that was it, kinda disappointed it ended on a cliffhanger like that, but whatever.

[vryfmi]

happy talk shop tuesday! in terms of larger projects, how many wips do you have at any given time? do you like to focus on one piece and see it to the end before moving on, or do you tend to jump around between pieces?

the thing about wips is that i can never know which ones will get out of control and turn into full fleshed pieces until i start working on one. i'd say currently i have about 7 big projects that i want to tackle this summer and rn im drawing none of them :l

(technically one is half way done, and others are in early sketch stages so i dangle those in front of me to motivate myself)

i jump around wips all the time because i get tired of working on the same thing for too long but also feel bad for dropping it at a halfway point. but sometimes a new idea sweeps me away and has me in its chokehold until i finish it here and there. or i get lost in doodling and drawing for myself and suddenly rememeber of big scary unfinished work that's gathering dust

[legendfinder]

have u seen the new jacob geller video? seems like itd b up your alley. id be curious to hear your thoughts on the philosophy of archival he talks about

Oh it was DEFINITELY up my alley, as an (at the very least) above-average obsessed fan of archiving my life's work to the best of my abilities. Geller brings up a really good point I've had to wrestle with, myself: What's the extent to which I can, well, archive?

Lately I've had to omit archiving multiple versions of my art because there's just... so many. Often I found myself erasing old versions just to put new ones in, only occasionally regretting it months or years later. There's some physical doodles I just haven't been able to archive, some that are probably lost forever. Sometimes I go about my day and check Discord only to find something missing I can't quite put my finger on; another server, deleted. How much do I archive of myself? Every word? Every pen stroke? Every conversation? Every thought, every dream, every morsel of food, every footstep, every blink, every fucking breath I've ever taken? Where does it stop?

The answer is it doesn't stop. At least, if you want a full archive of yourself. Different people have focused on different things, yeah. Some make dream journals, others make food diaries, others digitize their notebooks, others have github repositories or the like. But by god, is it hopeless to do everything.

I've tried to back those servers up, but, well... They get updated every day. I can't make backups of every server, every day. Archiving takes time, immense amounts of time, out of my day. Lately, I've been going to class lectures only to spend the time archiving my mind-boggling collection of notebook doodles from high school, for a purpose that isn't really that important right now. I'm not saying it's a universal experience, but to me, the process and goal of archiving puts me violently in the past and violently in the future, and rarely in the present.

I find myself just scrolling through my Everything Drive aimlessly, taking in the same colors I've already looked at for years, and it just feels like... I'm getting nothing new done. And then I continue building up this Everything Drive, for some unforeseeable unattainable "ideal" state that will never happen. I look back and I look forward constantly and sometimes I forget I can just step back and take in the moment as it is, without having to save an audio log of it, without having to record a video of it, without having to be constantly in fear of the decay of my memories. (Note that I have nothing against recording videos of things. I mean, I do that. A lot. That's why I bring it up. It just gets a bit too much after a while. I have 2000 videos and 2000 audio recordings on my phone. I barely ever check them.)

Callie, you probably have a few art pieces that might not be accessible anymore, because you might have put them in a discord server and just... Never kept a copy on your computer. Even for the art you made that is still accessible... How will you even go through the effort of collecting and archiving them, now? I got lucky to start my Everything Drive project relatively "early", in 2020, because Unus Annus scared lil ol me. Even then, I had a lot of work before me. I can't imagine starting that same project now, 3 years later.

On a slightly related note, sometimes a friend's hard drive just gets wiped. Sometimes someone's art hosting site gets taken down. Sometimes there's even something as mundane as someone quickly deleting their discord message as a joke. Things get deleted all the time, outside of my control.

I try to archive as much of myself as possible, but that's basically where I stop. Just myself. I can't archive everyone else to the extent I do for myself. I just hope they get to archive at least a small piece of themselves, their own way.

Back to Geller's video, though. I wanna say, The Internet Archive isn't fully a forever archive. People can try, yeah, and with enough people, something could very well last forever. But with individual items, it's a different story. I used to be very into the Archie Sonic comics, all for one specific character (if you want to know, it's Shard the Metal Sonic). Internet Archive, at that time, had a collection of pretty much every archie sonic comic, neatly organized and easily accessible straight from the website. It was a beautiful thing. Months later, trying to find a panel of a comic to take a screenshot of, I realized the collection had been taken down for copyright reasons. Sure, there's other collections of Archie Sonic comics, but those often fail to capture... Everything. Even the one I was looking at probably failed to capture everything. Some only have the early era of the comics, some only have the comics from Ian Flynn onwards. Some omit the spinoffs, others omit the end pages of the comics with fan mail and whatnot. One collection appears to be the most substantial, but seems to have forgotten a few pages in a few issues. It's just... Impossible, really. To get everything, and make it out in one piece.

I can't capture my paper doodles as accurately as they appear; in the Everything Drive, you zoom in enough, and you see pixels. There aren't pixels in real life. If I were to preserve every page of my high school notebooks, the scale of the collection would become gargantuan and completely inaccessible; just like Borges' map. I don't currently have the resources to download every video I've ever put on youtube or every stream I've done on twitch, and keep them on some external hard drives. I certainly don't have the space or even the time to preserve everything I love, everything I wish could stay just a little bit longer on this Earth. We all have our times to go, and all we can do is move just a few centimeters higher on this sinking ship.

So here I am, carving out my own corner, displaying only a select few categories of what I wish to preserve about myself. And in this corner, I'm happy.

Sorry if this rant is unhinged. I'm not deleting any of it. Guess I'm staying true to this topic, lmao.

I want to end by saying that if anyone wants to scroll through my Everything Drive (a google drive collection of as many digital + physical things ive made as im able to find and archive), I can send you a link! Just dm me if you wanna. Haven't fully finished organizing some recent art projects and a vast majority of my notebook doodles, but there's still already a fuck ton of shit in there.

Also my music streaming platform of choice is VLC Media Player

[stardust-in-my-mind-blog]

throwing fits

I'm learning that I require myself now

my need for a true and consistent span of solitude

to be completely with myself and my creative energy

and an ability to focus on nothing but what I want

in my very passionate soul to express into art

I need to bring an essence of my spirit into matter

or I will throw some kind of brewing storm inside of me

that will look like an adult tantrum at everyone around me

I have raised your children and my children

and am now raising the child that no one raised before now

inside of me and let me tell you she's been mad a long time

the world told her that everything about her was wrong

and it ended up being the world that was wrong

and there's a lot to resolve around where I thought

I was going and where I was kicked out into the cold

but I never lost myself and even if she's tearing me apart

if I don't get some time to doodle I'll still keep her here

she can destroy whatever she wants because they destroyed her

spirit so many times that she stopped naming them

just called them colors and holy little ghosts

she hated to have her hair brushed and to go inside that house

where no one ever listened and that meant she was going

to have to get mean and then the people who didn't

care if they hurt her would call her mean for fighting back

and the injustice of all of it was too much to take

sometimes when you prune something too much

it never decides to grow back because there's

just nothing left to return to and she understands that

I kept her alive in notebooks while I let myself fall apart

and she reminds me in the pages of what I remember

because that was how we always remembered

when everyone told us what we experienced was a lie

we burned the pages with horses and syringes

children shouldn't draw so many syringes

I remember four years ago when I stopped being able

to write anything or even access my imagination

my best friend was suddenly lost and I was abandoned

and I knew why but I couldn't see it

and every time I tried to write she would only show me

scenes where a man was being violently tortured

that's all that came out of my fingers when I typed

I had to start writing in notebooks

teach my body what was true about me again

because everything I'd ever been taught was lies

and that's pretty overwhelming to start with

I slowly carved into my heart that had become a glacier

with a tree inside hiding all the little creatures

I had carried inside my mind for so long

and characters from all my favorite stories

and I spent so much of my life in books as a child

and to loose all those friends was awful

and I still don't have all of them back yet

but I slowly taught myself by hand and heart

who I was again in those notebooks

and that energy that I brought back to me

is a jealous little wild thing that wants my time and

attention just like everyone else and I never really saw it

that way before so it will help me define more limits

and intentional space for my art and hobbies

to not do so means actual physical inner torment

which clinically means I get overstimulated

and need to process all the shit inside of me

and shut down or melt down out of my control

if anything else tries to get in there or something

her name is calamity

and she's my best friend

[thebeanstack]

Hello! Long time no see.

There are a handful of people with whom I was in the middle of conversations before dropping off the face of the earth. If you haven't yet blocked me for ghosting you: I deeply apologize and hope you can forgive me.

Without going into detail about what's been going on, there have been some less-than-pleasant things going on in my life, and - as the result of one of these events - I'd lost my previous laptop and with it many passwords.

The email for this account is one I'd not set up a NEW recovery alternative for. I'd been able to recover and change passwords on most of my other Socials, but I've only just gotten access to this account again! (thankfully I'm a neurotic paper-keeper, so I found the password written in an old notebook of doodles!!)

In an attempt to take back control of my life and foster positive growth for myself, I've been starting to post art again! I'm using social media as a means of ESCAPING negativity and maintaining joyful energy rather than doom scrolling and venting, so if you'd like to be a part of that, I'd love it if y'all stuck around. I'm posting good energy only and no bad vibes.

So far, it's actually helped! My mental health is recovering and I've been building renewed energy for interacting with people. I hope to strike up chats with you all again soon. Thank you <3

[sysig]

Spin the wheel and get assigned a mood (Patreon)

[sleepyconfusedpotato]

Task Force 141 Mostly Random and Domestic Head Cannons

Here are few questionable head cannons of the boys that nobody asked for that I came up with on a whim cuz I can't sleep.

💰 Captain Price 💰

Price can play saxophone and trumpet. More towards the saxophone. He has a collection of Kenny G album vinnyl disks that he'd play in his house.

He has a calico cat named Greg.

Collects watches as a hobby, from the antiques to the modern ones.

Supports Liverpool and sometimes would catch their matches on TV. Not a crazy fan like Ghost and Gaz though.

King of Poker. Nobody in the task force can beat him.

🇬🇧 Kyle "Gaz" Garrick 🇬🇧

That one British dude who likes coffee more than tea.

Fan of Arsenal. Actual Gooner who has posters and mugs with Arsenal logo printed on them.

Earlier of his teenage days, Gaz randomly wanted to learn beatbox. He got good at it and would often show it off to his friends. Over time, he lost interest in it and forgot about it. If you ask him to do some beatboxing he can still do it, but you gotta wait for it for the muscle memory to come back.

Arguably the most fashionable man in 141. When off-duty he'd show up with drip. His effortless swag goes along with any clothes.

🧼 Soap 🧼

Learned music theory and actually was a member of his high school vocal group and church choir, Soap has a beautiful barritone voice that can belt out "Why Do The Nations So Furiously Rage" by Handel and "My Love is Like a Red, Red Rose."

INVESTED in Eurovision. Would watch every country's song and critiques each one. Could go MAD about it.

Definitely the dude who sings in showers.

Fan of Take That. He dreamed of singing Million Love Songs to his one true love.

Idk why but I feel like Soap is that guy who can solve rubik's cube.

💀 Ghost 💀

Actual fan of Machester City. Would fight other clubs' fans if they're losing on TV and would 100% stomp on them.

Proficient bass guitar player. Can definitely slap.

Ghost can sew. In fact, he costumizes all his skeleton attributes himself. From numbers of masks to gloves, he made it all himself.

Watches Anime. He watches the classic shounen animes like Naruto, One Piece, and Dragon Ball. He likes the actions and the thrill of it.

CLEAN FREAK. Contrary to his rugged look and personality he always keep his belongings clean and neat.

🦵 Alex Echo 3-1 🦿

Another one of idk why but I feel like Alex's real name is Alexander Hamilton. His parents were either a historian or a musical enthusiast, no in between.

Watches NFL. Idolizes Tom Brady as the god-quarterback. In fact he ALMOST got drafted into NFL but got into the millitary instead.

Plays Tekken on a daily basis and unexpectedly mains Yoshimitsu for his eccentric design and moves.

Alex got a full-sleeve tattoo on both arms to cover the cigarette stick burns he got during his millitary days.

Skilled in playing the guitar. His fingerstyles are GODLY.

Alex sometimes sketch a few doodles on his journal.

🦗 Roach 🦗

Owns a grey Great Dane named Ms. Bella Donna, who's apparently oblivious of her size and a total lap dog. She'd leap at Roach when he gets home after deployment.

A fan of the Star Wars franchise. Major fan of Darth Vader and would quote him every chance he got. Collects figurines of Vader and Maul and even plays Star Wars : Battlefront.

True to his name, Roach isn't afraid of cockroaches, or any animal, really. Gary is the Task Force 141's #1 animal control man.

Roach can play the drum. He had a drum kit given to him by his parents as a kid and started doing them as a hobby.

-----

There it goes! This is the result of my domestic-HC-cravings which I decided to indulge myself. Feel free to add more LOL ◉‿◉