#this sounds like everyone on the bus clapped but she did lol

[yuribeam]

I told my mom about the moon landing holiday and she said don't you feel like the scientific discovery is inherently tainted by the imperialist capitalist soft power grab of the cold war space race. I love her so much

[awsugar]

storytime on the brokenarm?

lol ive definitely talked about it multiple times but not in ages probably so sure! storytime

i saw frank 20 times in 2017 and to achieve this i did 5 shows in the uk. at my 4th show, in aberdeen scotland, i went up to crowdsurf during stitches and when i got to the barricade security just. stood there and watched??? lmfao. my friends who were on barricade tried to keep me up as long as possible but security were just like🧍🏻‍♂️and, as evan tells it, on the literal last note of the song i just fell to the ground. i tried to catch myself with my arm i guess idk its all kind of hazy, but yea cara franks tour manager (now one of the mcr tour managers) like ran and lunged and tried to get to me in time when she saw security was not doing their job but she was too late and like as soon she got there she was like 'i think you broke your arm' and i was like 'no im fine' and then i looked down and i saw the bone was sticking waaaay out like not outside the skin but like. definitely a horribly mangled arm. and i was like 'oh i dont' think i can stand up' SLSDLFSDJFS. frank had them turn on the house lights and like waited til i was escorted out of the front of the stage and he started clapping for me lmaoooo there used to be a video someone took of the whole show from barricade on youtube but i cant find it anymore :(((((

this was the night after he brought me on stage for oceans. the epic highs and lows of mack in the uk.

all my friends were like gathered around me at the back of the venue and derek homeless gospel choir came over and was like hey whats up and they were all like 'their arm' and he immediately dipped LMAO anyway yea i had to take an ambulance to the hospital. when they told me they were calling an ambulance i started crying because i was like I CANT AFFORD IT but it was free. scotland. crazy. horrible horrible ambulance ride. cobblestone streets with a fucked up arm. they gave me laughing gas??? which didnt work at all but i kept sucking it in like mainlining it hoping it would do something so when it came time to get out of the ambulance i nearly fell out as soon as i stood up.

anyway i got it checked out and stuff and they said i needed surgery but my mom wanted me to wait til i got home so they like took care of everything i would need to make it home and whatever and yea it was all completely free can you believe it.

anyway i wasnt done with my shows so yes i took the bus to glasgow tthe next day for the last show. when i got there they told me cara was looking for me and she had something for me and frank had made me a custom drumhead that everyone on the tour signed 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺 and also had it set up so i could stand inside the sound guys barricade in the pit so no one would bump into me also he had all the security from the night before fired my savior 😫

and then before im a mess he said 'our friend mackenzie broke their arm last night but theyr'e here anyway which is crazy and amazing and this song is for them' WAHHHH

anyway thats the story this is the drumhead

sorry for everyone who has heard this story frank is so special to me...even if he spelled my name wrong

[sunflowersometimes]

hello! the amazing @callouiee tagged me in their post spelling their url with songs they like for me to do the same if i wanted and i thought it would be fun! they made theirs l&h/larrie related but i have such a long url that i think I’m going to use my favorite songs as well! this will also give me an excuse to gush about some of my fav songs

so i wrote the above paragraph and then tried to find and narrow down songs which proved to be very difficult lol. i probably made it harder on myself than needed bc i wanted to choose best and most perfect songs but there are just too many. this is the best list i could come up with, but i feel pretty good with it! if anyone ever wants to talk music, i’m so down i have so many favorites.

p.s. i really truly did gush about every song i’m so sorry for how long this is

s- Satellite (Harry Styles) this song is my baby. i love her with every fiber of my being. i have dance parties by myself in my apartment when this song comes on i literally can’t get enough of it. i honestly thought matilda would be my fav song off harry’s house cause like... it’s matilda, but this is the song i come back to most often from that album.

u- U.N.I (Ed Sheeran) okay so i have so many distinct memories listening to this song on the bus to/from middle school. anything from ed’s + album was my favorite. his stuff from that time used to be my favorite music along with 1D. i thought i was so cool when i memorized the rap part lol

n- No Children (The Mountain Goats) i will admit i did find this song through the tiktok trend but i absolutely loved that trend, i thought it was so cute. i listened to the full song shortly after discovering the song and it shortly became my second most listened to song of last year. w/o getting into too much detail, this song holds a special place in my therapy journey lol 

f- Fine Line (Harry Styles) what is there to say about her? she probably holds the biggest spot in music related to my healing journey. i fully annotated her once through the lens of my own therapy and healing journey. she means a lot a lot to me

l- Like Real People Do (Hozier) i am a hozier slut and i’m not afraid to admit it. i love anything this man puts out. sometimes i listen to his music like i’m a thirsty begger and his music is the only water that’s been offered to me in weeks. i could have put any of his songs on this list and you would have gotten the same reaction out of me. he makes me feel feral and ethereal at the same time.

o- Outer Space/Carry on (5SOS) god this song will never not get me. this song was my fine line of my middle school/high school years. if i ever see this song live i’m pretty sure i’ll die on the spot. i have a half-ish sleeve tattoo planned around this song. there’s like five songs on this list that i have tattoos planned around but none of them as big as this one. everything about this song is just perfect.

w- Written All Over Your Face (Louis Tomlinson) do i even need to say anything about this one? it’s been on repeat since the album came out. it’s literally so good and i know it’s everyone’s favorite but it’s for a damn good reason. have you heard louis’ voice?????? literally perfection absolute bop and i can’t stop listening to it. this is louis’ sound and i’m so proud of him

e- Emotions (5SOS) any time i make a new playlist of things i’m currently listening to to have one shuffle/repeat, i put this entire album on there. i feel like the more i listen to it, the more addicted i get. also, Liz told me this song was very me codded and i feel like that’s so true. i’m always in my emotions lol. also also, that little clap/slap that happens every so often in this song gives me an unnecessary amount of serotonin. 

r- Right Now (1D) i also could have put any one direction song on this list but there’s something about this song that has always had a grip on my brain. immediate performance mode whenever this song comes on. they’re my boys. my babies. i’ve been a fan for a decade now which is absolutely wild. i miss them

s- Spaces (1D) this might have to be in my top 5 favorite one d songs. i don’t know if i even have an actual top 5 but if i did, this song would be in it. i feel like i’m ascending whenever i listen to this song; it’s similar vibes to satellite in dance party mode for me if that makes sense lol i can’t help but move whenever i hear this song

o- Only the Brave (Louis Tomlinson) again, does this need any explanation? there was a while when i couldn’t listen to this song bc it hurt my closeted heart too much. it still makes me sad but also very optimistic. i hope i can hear this song live one day surrounded by fellows queers who’ve also found their family through the boys. it doesn’t make it a solo song anymore then does it? we’re a family; more of a family than any church i’ve been a part of. 

m- Mum (Luke Hemmings) another album where i could put literally any song on this list bc i love them all so much. this song, however, beats the others out ever so slightly as being my favorite. i’m noticing a pattern with my favorite songs: satellite, spaces, mum. they all have a really big build up to an absolute cathartic release later on in the song. mum does give me church song vibes but in the least song ruining way possible. this song actually inspired me to make a playlist of songs that make me feel like im ascending whenever i listen to them

e- Egg and Soldier (Cosmo Sheldrake) okay okay okay i know you’re thinking that this song came super duper out of left field and is really weird and i definitely agree but here me out. all of his songs are super fun and kinda weird but so so cool and unique and unpredictable. i have yet to come across a song of his i don’t love. they all make me feel so connected to my inner child/the creativity i pushed away for so long.

t- To Be Alone (Hozier) again, i’m a hozier slut. this might be my favorite song of his but i’m unsure if i can even pick a favorite hozier song. that slide on ‘feeeeeels good’ gets me every single time. i’m weak in the knees i’m obsessed. the grungy, dirty electric guitar???? i can’t it’s too much 

i- If I Could Fly (One Direction) i couldn’t not add this one. it’s iconic and makes me cry maybe half of the time i listen. who let them write, record, and release this song? it’s literally so raw and vulnerable and i know i’ve written some pretty raw poetry but i don’t think i’ve ever written anything on this level. like ?????? i forget this song is a real song they released and not something a fanfic writer made up

m- Matter of Time (Ashton Irwin) god this album destroys me in the best way possible. and this song???? literally speaks to me and my soul. this is another one i want to get a tattoo of. it’s just like a warm hug from an older sibling/older friend. everything’s gonna be okay bud

e- evermore (Taylor Swift) I do love me some good taylor swift, especially folklore and evermore. i don’t think this one is my favorite, that’s probably the lakes, but i do remember hearing it for the first time and absolutely loosing it at the word switch at the end of the song. it still holds a special place in my heart for the hopefulness it’s able to give me whenever i don’t have a lot of it.

s- Sunflower Vol. 6 (Harry Styles) and we’re ending on the song that i wish i could be. if i could have the vibes of any song it would be this one. i’m one of those obnoxious people that make sunflowers their whole personality and whenever harry released this song i went feral for it. i love her so much and i hope i grow up and make her proud.

okay now that i’ve written more than anyone wanted to read, i want to tag some recent mutuals to do this too! Obviously there’s no pressure to do this or to write as much as i did, simply just putting a song is enough lol

@bravetemptation  @lunarheslwt  @primary-wicf​  @flyhometolou28

[unlikelyempathpruneauthor]

Girls just wanna have fun

summary: the girls and you take over the first set of the guys concert for fun and as a joke, but you guys are really good which makes fans go crazy with how real you all sound like a real band.

Setlist: Babylon, Valentine, Ghost of you, No shame,Wildflower.

a/n: this is a 12 in the morning idea lol, thought it would be really cool to write this and of course the reader spends time with calum practicing the bass haha. I thought it would be cute for all the guys to see their girls in different settings.

a/n: august 2nd, fuck it i’m posting it lol

“this might sound silly, but it sounds like a good idea too.” michael said as cal spoke up, “out with it then clifford.” he said as you all giggled very interested in what he had in mind for the guys, or well for you ladies, but you didn't know that.

“What if our ladies do the first set of our concert?” he said as Crystal spoke, “Wait actually?” she said as you and the girls raised your eyebrows looking at one another while the guys were actually considering it. “that would be a fun idea actually.” Luke spoke as Sierra laughed, “you really think fans would enjoy that? not saying that we're bad entertainers.” she said as you giggled and everyone continued to elaborate.

“it would be fun seeing the fans reactions when they are expecting us.'' Ash said as he also mentioned how the fans all enjoyed the time they switched instruments, from the guys' view the fans loved it. “Besides the fans always ask about you guys it would be a fun way for them to see you all together.” Michael said as kaykay spoke,“okay if we were to do it, when would we do it cus if we're actually playing and singing we need to practice.” kay kay said as you nodded, “i agree with that,” you said as cal looked over at you with a smile, “wait your actually considering it?” he asked as you nodded with a giggle, “i mean it could be fun and we are all going,” you shrugged as all the everyone nodded. Cal knew you were a pretty nervous person so he didn't want you to feel pressure at all, since you two also had just announced that you were dating for a while now. But it would be a nice way to get the fans to know you too since they know the other girls very well. After planning rehearsal time, the set list, and the final date you were pretty much prepared, you just had to dread the planning time on your half.

You were only doing one of the main 5 songs that fans enjoyed a lot when the guys sang, so it was pretty easy going for all of you to do the main one, since a whole set was pretty intimidating especially to you, but 5 songs wasn't that bad. Of course the girls and you had some sort of experience with playing their instruments, since quarantine. You had told all the girls on facetime what you were up to, and they had been doing the same as you.

“So what have you been up to y/n?” sierra asked as you held your finger up and moved the camera to the bass, “this is so weird, but i've been playing the bass with cal, since you know we're pretty much stuck here, i thought it would be cool to learn.” you said as kaykay gasped, “no way! So have I but with the drums, Ash has been teaching me a little, it's so fun!” she said as you gave you a virtual high five, “This is so weird that you guys are mentioning this, but Luke has been teaching me too, its so weird, he came up to me with his guitar and he was like ‘let's have a jam session’ and i got the hang of the piano and the guitar.” sierra said as crystal spoke up and you thought it was so uncanny, but i mean it was pretty practical that you would all be learning how to play the guy’s instruments.

“I think they planned this because Michaels been teaching me how to play as well..” she said as you were all laughing and then Sierra spoke, “I think I see a band about to be immense,” she said as you all continued your conversations.

You all had been practicing for a while so you had some skill. Of course then you hadn't thought anything about that, but you kinda thanked cal for teaching you a little bit, since now you were going to do it live as a joke, but you were actually going to play and sing.

Though practice was enough for you guys to be prepared you also had to rehearse together to see how you all sound with one another. The singing part was easy for all of you since you guys would always sing. The boys had no doubts, they knew you would vocally sound good, but you girls already knew that since you had gone to a vocal coach and she even loved your vocals all together. She had even told you guys you were all able to make it as stars, but I mean you were only doing it one time for fun.  As you all arrived to rehearsal you and girls had even dressed up like the boys, you thought it would be fun because you guys were also doing some video diaries for fun for fans to see the behind the scenes. When the cameras started rolling and the guys did the intro before the cameras were on you as the guys would watch.

“Did you guys dress up as us?” Luke asked as Sierra nodded, “holy shit i just realized that,” michael said and you started laughing how identical she dressed up as look and also michaels reaction, “for promo purposes we had to, also that screams Luke, sierra looks way better luke im sorry,” kaykay sneered as luke began to sniff and fake cry and you giggled from what she said in the beginning, Crystal then added, “okay, but have you seen y/n, she literally has everything on point.” she giggled as you stood up showing your outfit, “yeah, it's not that hard when you can sneak into his closet, just that the pants were a little big, so i bought my own.” you giggled as you all were explaining your outfit, “did cal not notice?” ash asked as you shrugged which was when cal had walked in, “noticed what? Love did you go through my closet?” Cal asked as you all just started laughing at how he had just noticed you were all dressed up very similar.

“But also, kaykay, is very on point as you can see, with the bandana, the loose tank and of course the sticks.” you said as kaykay and you hugged one another like cal and ash would.

After the various jokes you had started to rehearse and the only thing to say was that you were all so identical to them, but before that the talented just screams out of you. You all were so good the guys were looking at the cameras worried, “i think we might be out of a job soon,” cal joked as luke nodded and the guys were laughing, “they are actually really good like actually,” ash said as he was clapping and whooping as the other boys followed. Cal and the guys even had his flashlight on when you were singing Ghost of you.

“Dude, they are so good, they have been planning this haven't they?” Michael said as you were done with the set completely, you all were confident that you were gonna kick ass that night. Even if this was just a prank set, you were all actually really good, like really.

Cal was so proud of you, that all the practice you two had done was good for you, he was hoping you would actually even consider doing more music stuff. The boys were all proud of you guys and of course their ladies, they all had agreed as well that you guys have so much talent, but they knew this life wasn't for you guys, since separation would be much bigger, unless you toured together….but i'm getting ahead of myself.

Once you all hit the tour bus and were on your way to the first concert of the tour, you girls were actually playing tonight, you weren't as nervous as you thought you were, but at the same time you were a nervous wreck. You and Cal were cuddled up in your bunk as you were watching a movie, “are you nervous for tonight?” he asked as you giggled a little, “i mean yeah kinda, but that's normal right?” you asked as he nodded, “yeah it is, and besides you guys are really good, like actually, all that practice is going to be worth it.” he said as you nodded and he had his arms over your body. He loves how involved you are with his life and his career, and how supportive you are. You were always there for him and he will always be there for you too, even if this was a little way to entertain the fans and make a funny thing out of it.

As you arrived at the venue, you were getting excited as you and the girls had stayed in your dressing rooms getting ready while the boys were doing sound checks and greeting fans with VIP passes. You were still doing video diaries so you were all pretty chill and relaxed once you arrived at the dressing room and started to change and get prepared.

“Okay, so right now the guys are currently doing their thing while we change, and get into character, so uh..yeah.” you giggle as you all do your thing while the cameras are rolling and trying to catch small moments of you all. “Are you guys nervous?” the guy behind the camera asked as you all prused your lips, “uh not really, we all rehearsed and practiced i think we'll be great,” kay kay said as you giggled, “okay but we actually sound like a band when you say that.” you giggled as Sierra and Crystal nodded.

You all were getting into your guy’s signature clothing when it came to doing live performances and the end result is so uncanny. You were getting into the signature skater pants and black top with some vans. You had curled your hair slightly a lot like cal’s when it's curly wanting to have some of your hair out of your face. Sierra had worn the yellow silk shirt with classic leather black pants and a pair of boots, an outfit that fans loved, and Sierra killed it in that shirt. Crystal had worn a jean jacket with black pants with some boots, which you could say, SHE KILLED IT. Kaykay had gone with a red button up and some skinny jeans with some boots and let me tell you SHE ALSO KILLED ITTTTT. You all had killed it, it was perfect. You occasionally threw in the “i have no idea what we are doing?” for the video because you knew that had to be in there and the girls all laughed when you did it.

When you all got in for a picture together you literally posed like the guys and you were all getting quite excited for what's about to come. Minutes had passed by and the guys had come in and they were all kinda surprised with your outfits and they were slightly impressed, “hey, you look really good by the way good luck out there.” Calum said as he walked over to you with a hug as you hugged him back, giving him a kiss. Everyone was greeting their partner giving the last minute good luck before you left. You had recorded more stuff for the video diaries, of course you all were listening to Nickleback before going on the stage and you now understood how this helped with the nerves.

You then were all getting suited up as kay kay had walked out on stage while the lights were off and started playing some beats before you all went on. From what you guys could hear the fans were going crazy, this was going to be one fun night. The boys had headed up to the very front to see the show.  you and sierra created one of the most funniest moments in the diaries, “y/n, we should do the acoustic set moment!” sierra said as you giggled and nodded, “oh my gosh yes!” you said as the cameras were rolling and kay kay was still entertaining the fans out there, “..wait what are we doing? Are we gonna..?” sierra said as you looked back at her trying not to break character, “i think its an acoustic set.” you said as she walked over to you confused, “an acoustic set?....IT SOUNDS A BIT LOUD FOR AN ACOUSTIC SET Y/N!” she said as you just laughed not knowing what to do, that's when the backstage team had signaled you to all get out there running out and playing your chords for the intro as the fans at first were confused but when they noticed it was you girlies, they all began to scream and there was no end to the cheering. You looked over to the camera and looked over and said, “i still have no idea what we are doing.” you screamed as the fans were still cheering and you were so overwhelmed and excited, “fuck it” you screamed.

Then beat to Babylon had started and the fans went nuts as you were all playing as if you were a literal band, the fans cheering didn't stop until you started singing and they sang along with you. From the audience the boys were all cheering for you and none of the fans had even noticed they were there, that's how realistic this looked.

“Burn too bright, now the fire's gone, watch it all fall down!” you sang as the fans cheered you all and you began to giggle a little, you were able to even hear the guys cheering.

“So, holy cow, i don't know how the guys do this, but this is tiring, you gotta hand it to them.” Sierra said out of breath as you took a small break but made sure to hurry it up, “yeah they are pretty good at this, crystal, kay kay? How are you guys doing?” you asked as kaykay responded, “honestly great, i mean i get to sit down for most of this, but these girls are killing it.” she said as the fans cheered and all you could really do is giggled. “What about your crystal?” Sierra asked, “I'm doing fine, lots of head banging but it's there,” she said as you all laughed.

Then the beat to valentine had started and the fans were going crazy again, this was so new to you, all of you, you all liked this feeling, it was something you all had never got to feel, and it was one of those “i want to see what its” like moments, and you all enjoyed it. Whenever one of you would stop singing the fans continued on with the lyrics, which made you happy. You were all happy they are enjoying you guys.

“Valentine, valentine, valentine..” all of you sang as the beat continued to ghost of you, and yet again the fans screamed once again. Sierra started it off as the fans sang along waiting for your line, which from instagram you heard that it was one of their favorites because of the way cal would sing it, so yes you studied a little for this, “cleaning up today, i found that old zeppelin shirt, you wore when you ran away, and no one could feel your hurt, too young, too dumb, to know things like love, i know better now, better now.” you said as fans yelled waiting for the part where you all sang, “Dancing through our house with the ghost of you” you sang as fans were cheering on.

You then took a small break before heading onto the next 2 songs, “you guys are such a good audience we really thought you wouldn't like us.” Sierra laughed as you laughed, nodding as the fans yelled no. you saw a fan had yelled a question, “wheres duke?” she said very quietly but you heard her, “ did you ask where duke is?” you asked as you looked at the fan who asked and she nodded which made the girls laugh seeing you interact with the fans. “Duke's home with one of our friends I believe,” you spoke as all awed.

Then the beat to no shame had started and you were so excited for this one, it was your favorite song on the new album, “so we're gonna do like 2 more songs on the new album just for you guys.” you spoke as the cheered and sierra had started it, and for this one you didn't do much singing since in this one luke is the only one sining but there was also some added harmonies, but not much.

Sierra had killed this song completely shocking Luke, he had heard you guys sing this so many times, but hearing it live with fans singing it made it sound so good. You and Sierra had been the ones who took one for the team and sang one of their solos. You two didn't really mind and kay kay and crystal were not really up for it, but they had both said you two should do it and well here you were, no backing out now.

“Got no shame. I love the way you're screaming my name” she sang as the fans went wild and the beat to wildflower had started and you were getting ready to sing, “this is the last song we can sing for you guys, it's called wildflower, and out lovely y/n will be taking the lead here.'' Sierra said as the crowd went wild and you just smiled looking over at Cal who was just so proud, like we said before even if this was for a small joke, the talent you all carried was surreal. Seeing you sing this song made him feel many emotions, you were kinda hot singing this. All the boys thought their girls were hot right now, they had no idea how they were gonna continue the show with all these feelings they had that just wanted to come out.

“You're the only one who makes me. Every time we. Tell you what I like. My wildflower!” you sang finally as kaykay ended with the drums and you all had gone in the middle and bowed getting lots of cheering.

“That's all we have today fro you all, thanks for your cheering this was actually awesome.” Sierra said as you all nodded and you all left the stage as they were all cheering. Once you were all off you all got into a group hug and just celebrated this. You all enjoyed yourselves up there and honestly you were all down to do it again, but you were all happy with being able to do it once.

Before leaving to go see the guys, you had recreated a couple more of the diaries moments,

“Kaykay, my best friend, gonna be friends till the very end. Kaykay my best friend gonna be friends til the very end. Take it to the.. I love this gal, so damn much, i love this gal.” you said attempting to do the same movements as cal. As kaykay had kept playing the guitar and sierra walked up to you, “y/n my best friend, me and her until the very end, kaykay, is **********, i hate you so ******* much.'' Sierra said as you all continued to laugh, not being able to believe that you did this without laughing. You then all had gone down as well to see them and give them your support. Lucky fans didn't recognize you and you were able to enjoy the show.

After the show you all had headed to a hotel tired but full on energy at the same time. You had all gotten separate rooms to celebrate alone with your s/o the success of the beginning of the show and the start of the tour. The boys were definitely were wanting to see you guys preform again.

This is like some of the reactions fans would have.

@5SOSUPDATES:

THE FACT THAT THEY DRESSED EXACTLY LIKE THE GUYS IS SO CUTE.

@CALM5SOS:

So who wants to talk about how the girls took over the first set?!?!?

@Lukstannings:

Okay but Sierra was rocking the yellow silk button up.

@mikeycliffordstan:

NO ONE TOLD ME THEY CAN SING

@ghostofyou5sos:

NO ONE IS TALKING ABOUT HOW Y/N LITERALLY SANG CAL’S PART IN GHOST OF YOU THE SAME WAY HE DID.

@5SOSWILDFLOWER:

SIERRA SINGING NO SHAME AND Y/N SINGING WILDFLOWER IS LITERALLY ALL I NEED TO LIVE.

@c-swizzle:

Y/n’s spot on, her hair, her bass playing, she is literally calum in the making.

@cliffordhemmings:

Kaykay on the drums, is literally a dream of mine and it came true.

@y/nkaysierracrystalstan

They need to be a band idc what you say, you can't change my mind.

@5sosashsupdates:

Kaykay and Ashton are a couple goals.

@5sosmichealupdates:

Crystal wore michaels jean jacket. This is everything I need.

@ashiriwinsstan:

PLEASE THEY LITERALLY RECREATED SO MANY MOMENTS FROM THE DIARIES

@5SOS:

Looks like our ladies took over yesterday on the first set, might need to happen more often.

[ichayalovesyou]

The One With The Whales (Live Reaction):

Saw parts of this one when I was super little! Oh good! This one is also directed Leonard Nimoy! He has my whole heart already so can’t wait to see this play out!!

Uh Oh. TOS crew on trial 😬😬😬 SAREK?!?! Oh shit oh shit oh shit!! Ohhhhhh man the gang is already in deep shit.

Awww looking at Spock from the distance all dramatic like huh Jim? You getting some mini therapy from yo mommmmmm 😭😭 I love Spock so so muchhhhhh. And I LOVE Amanda!!!! Oh, and the Captain of the Saratoga! She seems awesome!

Bye Saavik, you were cool and I hope we see you again someday. Awwww Bones is worried about Spock :( he and Jim both want Spock back so bad but don’t wanna push him and awwwwwwwww!! Also why does the probe sound like Jumanji drums??? Bones and Spock are actually killing me, this conversation is actually killing meeeeeee, arguing really is McCoy’s first love language! 😭

Whatever I may think of Sarek as a father, he is such a cool character and Mark Lenard really is an absolutely fantastic actor. Oh yikes, looks like the stars have aligned for Jim and the Bridge Family to save the world yet again lmao. Honestly this whole thing with the message for the whales makes me think of “So Long & Thanks For All The Fish” from Hitchiker’s Guide To The Galaxy. Also Bones being protective of Spock ☺️

I’m so glad at least Bones is acknowledging the plot of this movie is absolutely fucking insane 😂 THIS IS WHY I LOVE OLD STAR TREK! It’s not afraid to be absolutely unapologetically ridiculous! I love it!!! Thaaaaaats a weird dream right there, you good Jim?

Stupid problems require stupid solutions! LOVE the headband Spock 😂🤣 what an ENTRANCE!! Wow it sure is the 80s, WOW, the cognitive dissonance of these bozos wandering around 20th century San Fran I am LOSING MY MIND! They are just little kreatures and they have no monies 😂😂😂 NUCLEAR WESSELS!!!! Oh god stahp I can’t breathe!!!!

I BELIEVE IN THE BEASTIE BOYS MEETING SPOCK ON THIS BUS THEORY OHHHHH MY GOD!! Jim is so old lmao! And then everyone clapped! Kirk please, I’m already laughing so hard PLEASE don’t teach Spock how to swear I’m losing my mind!!!

Wow that vibe when you remember this movie actually legitimately helped save the blue whales as a species. SPOCK IS GOING SWIMMING HERE WE GOOOOOOOOO!! JIM’S FACE! Also Nimoy can get it, damn “these are not the hell your whales.” Lmaooooo

I love this marine biologist lady she’s great! Lol. “No ma’am no dipshit.” Also “Gracie is pregnant.” *HITS BREAKS* this movie is fucking amazingggggg the legendary Italian food conversation I love themmmmmm. Bones & Scotty’s improv skills are legendary “millions of- I mean thousands of miles from Edinburough” look at this insanity, I love it.

Why do I hang around with that ditzy guy who knows Gracie’s pregnant and calls you Admiral? “He’s my husband.” (Totally posting this one! XD)

UH OH PAVEL!!!! 😨 RUN PAV RUUUUUUUUUUUN!! Oh noooo. NO THE WHAAAAALES!!!!!!!!!!!!! THIS IS BAD YALL AHG MY FEELINGS FUDGE FUDGE FUDGE AND CRAP!! This poor woman oh my god lmao, that look on her face when she saw Spock she was like “oh, he’s an alien, that makes a lot more sense.”

SPOCK HES BACK HES OKAY HES ALL THE WAY BACK AND HE LOVES STUDENT SURROGATE SON PAVEL CHEKOV IM NOT CRYING YOU ARE!!!!!!!!! “It’s the human thing to do...” 😭😭😭😭

“Pavel... rank... Admiral!” ON BRAND LMFAO! SHE GREW A NEW KIDNEY! This movie is going to kill me in the opposite freaking way TSFS did lmao. Oh wow whale lady was just like IM COMING TO THE FUTURE FUCK YOUUUUU and honestly, mood.

Bones and Jim being so happy to see that Spock is (for the most part) back to his old self and my heart is meltingggggg

ADMIRAL THERE BE WHALES HERE!!!

I really do not understand people who don’t like Kirk I really, really don’t. He’s wonderful and sweet and smart and brave and I love him. Nobody convince me otherwise that he is good and awesome and good.

Dude this scene is so wholesome and good and fun!!! Oh my god!! The music! SPOCK IS SMILING! This is single handedly watering my crops and clearing my skin! “I stand with my shipmates.” THEY GOT OFF BECAUSE THEY DID IT FOR LOVE AND THEN SAVED THE WHOLE ASS PLANET AFTER YASSSSSSS!!! Spock & Jim should’ve kissed right there I’m just saying. Also Jim & whale lady deserve a long lasting (if long distance) friendship.

Spock even gets to reconcile with his parents awwwww, Sarek is finally recognizing that his son can move mountains because of who he is. “Tell her (mother) I feel fine.” Okay good I’m crying again. 💚🖖🏻💚😭😭😭

ITS THE ENTERPRISE B!!!! 🤩🤩🤩 THEYRE HOMMMMME *Pterodactyl shrieking*

That was so wholesome oh my goddddd

[hidden-otaku-stuff]

Suga, Atsumu, Akaashi, and Sakusa saving their S/O from traffic

Hey anon! I normally only take 3 characters for headcanon requests, but I decided to just go ahead and do all four this time. Please make sure to read my rules before making requests 😊

Word count: ~2k

AN: I may have gone slightly overboard with Atsumu’s but y’know. This is my first time writing for Sakusa and Suga though! 

part 1: Tsukishima, Kuroo, Osamu saving their S/O from traffic

SUGAWARA

⭐ So, you and Suga have known each other for years 

⭐ After all, you were Asahi’s younger sister

⭐ Both Suga and Daichi were very familiar with you

⭐ It was not surprise that after knowing you for so long, Suga caught feels

⭐ Suga liked that you had the same gentle temperament as your brother BUT you weren’t as “cowardly”

⭐ He enjoyed whenever you let loose and indulged in your wild side

⭐ Of course, the only people in the group who realised Suga had a crush were Kiyoko and Daichi

⭐ You and Asahi were hella oblivious I swear LMAO

⭐ Anyways, eventually Asahi catches Daichi and Suga talking and he’s like OMG SUGA HAS A THING FOR (NAME)???

⭐ But at the end of the day, he’s like, well Suga’s a nice guy

⭐ Of course, you and your brother were super close too!

⭐ Later that night, you end up accidentally confiding in your brother that you also had a thing for Suga

⭐ Leading to Asahi confessing for Suga that very moment

⭐ The next day at school, you go out of your way to avoid Suga because omg my crush LIKES ME BACK?!

⭐ Suga’s super sad and is like, why are they doing this?

⭐ Asahi’s awkwardly scratching his neck and is like, I may have said something

⭐ SO, Suga finds you at your house later that night, asks you out, and you’ve been dating ever since

⭐ At the time of the incident !

⭐ You join the rest of the third-years in going to the shrine for new years

⭐ By now, you and Suga have already been going strong for over a year

⭐ As you reach the bottom of the steps, a biker is speeding past

⭐ They all react simultaneously

⭐ Asahi is frozen, his heart is beating so loud he swears everyone could hear it

⭐ Daichi is lunging forward, ready to use his defensive volleyball skills to do something (though idk what would have helped in this situation)

⭐ Kiyoko’s eyes are wide

⭐ But Suga!! man is moving at lightning speed

⭐ Like he is on a MISSION and that is to protect the love of his life!

⭐ He grabs you by the waist, hoisting you back up onto the steps and pressing you against him

⭐ You blink, confused until you hear the biker ringing his bell, shouting apologies as he speeds along the path

⭐ “Y’know, that would’ve sucked to start the new year off like that” you chuckle, looking up at Suga

⭐ He chuckles too, nodding as he brushes your hair back

⭐ Pulling you up, y’all face the third years as they unfreeze and make their way towards you

⭐ (Name)!” -Asahi

⭐ “Suga!” -Daichi

⭐ “Are you guys okay?” -the goddess Kiyoko

⭐ After breathing a sigh of relief, Asahi’s doing that little clap thing he does when Nishinoya receives his serves in the commercial break

⭐ Asahi’s giving him that look that says “i owe you everything. you have saved her life. i give you my permission to marry her”

⭐ Suga’s just laughing and is like “i would’ve done that with or without your permission 💝 ”

ATSUMU

⭐ Honestly, this was an enemies-to-lovers, slow-burn situation

⭐ You were in the same friend groups after playing at the club together as children

⭐ He was hella STINGY! he did not like that you were a setter AND that Osamu would ask you to set for him sometimes out of spite

⭐ Anyways, that rivalry continued up until high-school

⭐ Unfortunately, right before high-school starts, you suffer from a critical injury and had to quit volleyball

⭐ Atsumu felt bad about it

⭐ Like though he saw you as a rival, it just wasn’t fair that you had to quit so early

⭐ SO! He offers you the next best thing

⭐ Being his manager!

⭐ You laughed in his face the first few times he offered because you’re like, are you just being petty right now?

⭐ But after a while (and after he’s asked you like 20 times) you finally accept the offer

⭐ Now that you guys are no longer rivals, and you’re around each other all the time, Atsumu is like wait a second, you’re kinda attractive

⭐ AND the fact that you talk volleyball to him!

⭐ You were roped into his late practices more often than he’d care to admit

⭐ Of course, as manager (and ex-rival), you’d give him tips on how to improve his serves and setting

⭐ At first, he was kinda salty when you gave him advice and kicked him out of the gym

⭐ But eventually (aka, after Osamu kicked his ass), he realised that you were doing it out of care!

⭐ Thus, he spiraled into full-on affection for you

⭐ On your end, you didn’t really care about Atsumu

⭐ You thought the rivalry was stupid

⭐ And like, the boy bullied you!! Because his twin liked how you set!

⭐ But after you stopped playing, you realised that he was just a dummy who lived-and-breathed volleyball

⭐ Proven by the early mornings and late nights at the gym

⭐ Eventually, his passion sparked something inside of you

⭐ Like although you couldn’t play anymore, it was really nice seeing this passion and it made you care more about the team

⭐ This translated into more hangouts with the team, and eventually Atsumu just hits you up out of nowhere like “we’re always together”

⭐ You: Yes and?

⭐ Atsumu: We might as well date?

⭐ You: LOL! ...sure

⭐ And that’s how y’all start dating!

⭐ AT THE TIME OF THE INCIDENT

⭐ you’re on-campus ridiculously early, waiting for the bus that’ll take you to Tokyo for nationals

⭐ Mid-yawn, you’re complaining about how a POWER HOUSE school has to take the bus all the way there

⭐ “Like, we’re the favorites to win!”

⭐ (you just hate being awake before the sun is)

⭐ The bus is arriving, and you step down off the curb to walk around the bus and start loading your stuf

⭐ Of course, Atsumu is ALSO dead tired and his brain short-circuits, thinking the bus is about to hit you

⭐ SO, he’s sprinting at you, throwing his food onto the ground (osamu is screeching behind him)

⭐ You turn, confused when a muscular body slams into you

⭐ Y’all both tumble down onto the concrete and you’re just like, Atsumu I’m going to kill you

⭐ Osamu is just like, not if I kill him first!

⭐ Atsumu’s just like, but! The bus! Was about to hit you?

⭐ Kita’s face-palming and is just like, the bus literally stopped 30 feet away from them

⭐ Suna’s cackling while he records this mess

⭐ Your boyfriend’s blushing and is just like, “well maybe I just wanted to be a hero for my boo”

⭐ NGL, it would’ve been sweet EXCEPT he crushed the bag of snacks you’d packed so you were pretty peeved

⭐ Leading to a sulking Atsumu

⭐ Once y’all are on the bus, you lean over and give him a kiss

⭐ He short-circuits again. “Aren’t you mad at me?”

⭐ You shake your head, “a little, but I can’t just refuse to give my hero his reward, right?”

⭐ Atsumu’s heart swells and he’s promising himself to always be your hero

AKAASHI

⭐ Alright, so y’all weren’t dating yet!

⭐ Nah, you were just a Fukurodani manager-in-training

⭐ But TBH, Akaashi had the biggest crush on you

⭐ He liked how responsible you were, and how you weren’t really overbearing and obnoxious like the other managers (and his captain but y’know)

⭐ Since he was the vice captain, the other managers trusted him to show you the ropes

⭐ (they’d also noticed the way y’all looked at each other and was tryna make their ship sail!)

⭐ ANYWAYS

⭐ This happens during that first two-weeked Tokyo training camp where Kageyama and Hinata are running late

⭐ SO, Akaashi and you had gone outside to get some fresh air and just to get away from the chaos of the team

⭐ Bokuto and Kuroo were both tryna rope him into some shenanigans, so you benevolently bailed him out and brought him outside to help you fill the bottles

⭐ Cue side-eyes and winks from the other managers to you both

⭐ Just as you’re making small talk, a screeching sound interrupts the conversation

⭐ WHOOP THERE’S SAEKO!

⭐ She barely manages to brake in front of you

⭐ But sweet Akaashi had already pulled you back into him, his back facing the car just in case he wasn’t fast enough

⭐ “Are you ok?” he asks, leaning back to scan your features

⭐ You nod, sheepish

⭐ Akaashi turns back to the driver, eyebrows raised

⭐ Saeko gets out of the car, apologising intensively

⭐ Of course, Hinata literally pukes when he gets out because he’s overwhelmed with everything that’s happened

⭐ Kageyama is like, uhm, can I just go play volleyball now pls?

⭐ After numerous apologies, Akaashi points them towards the gym and spirits you away to a bench

⭐ He keeps giving you water, an unreadable expression on his face

⭐ “Uhm, Akaashi? Are you ok?”

⭐ Akaashi just SIGHS, nodding

⭐ He fixes you with a hard stare, a slight tremour in his voice. “I’m sorry, (Name). I just...I don’t know what I would’ve done if something had happened to you”

⭐ You tilt your head. “I mean, I doubt that I would’ve died from that”

⭐ Akaashi chuckles, shaking his head slightly as he slots your fingers together. He squeezes your hand. 

⭐ “Yeah, but my heart would have”

⭐ Y’all both get flusterd as heck!

⭐ Like, was that a CONFESSION?!

⭐ Turning back to ask, you get the answer in the form of him kissing your cheek

⭐ Akaashi short-circuits. You short-circuit. Did that really just happen?!

⭐ “So..does that mean we’re together or..”

⭐ And before Akaashi can respond, the rest of Fukurodani appears!

⭐ They heard what happened from Hinata (who cannot keep his mouth shut I swear)  

⭐ As you’re both swarmed, you peek at Akaashi

⭐ Over the noise, he gives you a small smile, nodding

⭐ Your hearts are warm! Like finally!!

SAKUSA

⭐ TBH, I feel like Sakusa wouldn’t really care to find a partner

⭐ UNLESS, it is someone he grew up with and is very familiar with

⭐ So! Enter, Komori’s best friend

⭐ Sakusa and Komori were always together

⭐ You and Komori were always together

⭐ This made it very easy for you to get close to Sakusa!

⭐ He liked that you respected his space and desire for cleanliness

⭐ You always went out of your way to carry around extra face masks, wipes, and santisier just in case people got too close to him (and you)

⭐ Sakusa wouldn’t have made the first move though

⭐ UNLESS! He realised he was about to lose you

⭐ Which almost happened

⭐ You ended up not hanging out with the duo as much because of a school assignment

⭐ Coincidentally, Sakusa overheard one of his teammates talking about you and the other dude

⭐ The other dude had the biggest crush on you, and was going to ask you out after y’all were finished with the project

⭐ Of course, Sakusa was just like absolutely not

⭐ Right after practice, Sakusa went to go look for you only to find you walknig towards the gym

⭐ “Oh hey Sakusa!”

⭐ “Call me Kiyoomi”

⭐ “Ok Kiyoo- wait what?!” 

⭐ Your eyes went wide

⭐ His heart stuttered, why were you so cute?!

⭐ “I mean, you would call your boyfriend by his first name, right?”

⭐ “B-boyfriend?!?!”

⭐ Komori appears, throwing his arm over your shoulder to Sakusa’s disgust. “I think this is how Sakusa’s tryna confess to you, (Name)”

⭐ Sakusa just nods stiffly, pulling out some wipes 

⭐ Heat sweeps over you as you awkwardly nod, “oh! Sure, Kiyoomi”

⭐ Sakusa was grateful that the mask covered his face because boy was BLUSHING

⭐ SO! At the time of the incident~

⭐ You had gone with Sakusa to the training center for the Tokyo Training Camp

⭐ Komori had already gone without y’all

⭐ You were from around the area, and were going to go visit your family for the week

⭐ (It was also a chance for you to introduce Sakusa to your family after he finished up with the training camp)

⭐ Anyways, you’d just dropped Sakusa off, waving goodbye to him as you turn to walk off

⭐ There was a loud honking noise

⭐ Some dude was trying to park and was being SO RUDE to you as you were walking through the lot

⭐ You turn to face the car, only to have your arm yanked out of its socket as someone leads you away

⭐ “Whah?!”

⭐ Your eyes follow the arm, finding Sakusa on the other end

⭐ “Weren’t you supposed to be warming up?!”

⭐ “You forgot something”

⭐ He finally stops as you reach the sidewalk

⭐ Your brows furrow. “What did I forget?”

⭐ Suddenly pulling his mask down, he presses a kiss to your forehead

⭐ “That”

⭐ Whirling around, Sakusa stalks back to the training center, blushing brightly as he realises what he had done

⭐ Your hand is touching the spot where he’d kissed you, your heart beating fast

⭐ “Holy cr*p” you whisper

⭐ “oh my god” Sakusa mutters

⭐ “Why are you blushing?”

⭐ “Shut up Komori”

general taglist: @scrappydaisies​ @newfriendjen​  @kyomihann

Please contact me if you would like to be a part of my general taglist! 💞 Check out this link for information about my taglists.

[jungshookz]

stuck with you || [roommate!taehyung]

❥ pairing: kim taehyung x reader

❥ genre: university!au, enemies-to-lovers, fratboy!tae??, comedy that’ll either make you chuckle out loud or roll your eyes and snoRT or maybe u won’t laugh that’s cool too, domestic fluff because i want to go grocery shopping with tae toO (but also fluff in general!!), smutty smut so make sure to read this with your phone’s brightness lowered all the dang way, hi @ librarian!namjoon!!! fratboy!jungkook is also in here 

❥ wordcount: 37k if ur reading this on mobile get rekt

❥ summary: kim taehyung becoming your new roommate is definitely up there on the list of the worst things that have ever happened to you. 

❥ note: it’s finally here! this is my biGGEst fic to date and all i’m going to say is get comfortable and maybe get a snack because you, my friend, are about to read a whole ass novel and embark on a rollercoaster of a fiC. hopefully this was worth the wait!! i didn’t think i was capable of writing so much and my fingers are about to fall off but it was totaLLY worth it!!!! there’s kind of a 10 things i hate about you vibe if u squint and also most of the dumB things tae does in this fic were inspired by my ex-roommate so i hope she never finds this lol but also everyone say thank u to her for inspiring roommate!tae! i hope u guys love/hate him just as much as i do! happy reading!! 

pst if u wanna talk to y/n or tae (or even applicant #8 if ur brave enough) ((you’ll get it soon)) u know what to do ;-)

(gif isn’t mine!)

(((and the read more function iS there but most of the time it doesn’t work on mobile :// i am sorry don’t attack me by sending passive-aggressive anon messages)))

                                    ━━━━━━༻❁༺━━━━━━

“what do you mean you’re moving out?!”

namjoon can safely say that he’s never seen such pure, unadulterated rage simmering in your eyes

some apple juice dribbles out from your straw as your grip tightens around your juice box

he swallows nervously and tugs at his collar

is it just him or is it getting kind of hot in here

“i-i mean, you know, i… i don’t really know how else to explain it..,., i’m moVing out.,.”

it’s a good thing he decided to break it to you while you guys were in a public space because he knows what you’re capable of

all he’s going to say is that there are witnesses everywhere so you probably shouldn’t hurt him right now

“who are you going to be living with?” you huff and lean forward a little “i’ll kill them.”

“i’ll be living by myself…,.,” namjoon smiles sheepishly “…please don’t kill me” he adds meekly

“no promises.” you mutter grumpily and take a sip of juice

you knEW there was a reason why namjoon gave you two cookies instead of one today

he was trying to butter you up!!!!!

that smooth bastard

a moment of silence goes by

you groan and immediately slump down on the table and namjoon jumps slightly

“namjOON why didn’t you tell me earlier??”

“i’m sorry!!!!!! i’ll make it up to you somehow!!!!” he reaches across the table to pat your head “and i’ll pay my share of the rent for this month so you don’t have to worry about the power going out!”

“that’s not the poinT, joon! the point is in first year we promised we’d live with each other until we graduated and you’re pulling out of the deal a yEAR earlier-“

“i will very gladly help you find a new roommate! i know you haTe meeting new people so i will happily sit by your side as we meet all the candidates. look, i already put an ad up for you and a bunch of people already messaged me saying that they were interested!”

“but i don’t want a new roommate.” you grumble and prop an elbow up on the table before resting your cheek against your fist “who’s going to pack my lunches for me now?”

“is that the only reason why you’ve kept me around for so long?” namjoon teases lightly and reaches across to pinch your cheek “c’mon, it’s not going to be all that bad! part of university life is opening yourself up to new people and all that!”

namjoon frowns slightly when you don’t respond

there’s a little divot in between your brows and the smallest of pouts on your mouth anD your eyes are getting a little glossy so he can’t help but feel a little bad

it’s not that he’s sick of living with you

it’s just that.,,. he feels like third year is a good time to get his own place!

he’s loVed living with you and it’s not like he’s never going to see you again!!!!! he’ll just see you less!!

besides the fact that you two literally live together you guys practically see each other every day on campus because you always have lunch together (except for wednesdays and the occasional friday when namjoon has lectures/tutorial sessions that bleed into lunch time)

not to mention you’re always welcome to come and hang out at his new bachelor pad

namjoon purses his lips before letting out a sigh “say, how about this? i’ll continue to pack your lunches two times a week, how does that sound?”

you slurp up the rest of your juice and namjoon reaches over to yank the straw out of your mouth when he notices you starting to chew on it (you always start chewing on your straws when you’re stressed about something)

“are we still going to hang out on the weekends and stuff?”

“of course! and you can come hang out with me at the library after classes and we can walk to the bus stop together and then go our separate ways”

namjoon probably shouldn’t have thrown in that last bit but oh well

you let out a sigh “pack my lunches three times a week and you have yourself a deal.”

namjoon sticks his hand out and you give him a firm shake and follow it up with a fist bump before ending it by wrapping your pinky around his (when u guys came up with this handshake he was the one who added that last part)

“so -“ you raise a brow “let’s figure out who i’m going to be replacing you with.”

namjoon gives you a warning look

and so, it begins

the hunt for your new roommate

this should be easy!

a lot of people have contacted namjoon through his ad showing interest in the apartment and namjoon did you the favour of organising all the names onto one long list

namjoon actually took care of a lot of the details so all you have to do is sit there and talk to people

and you love talking to people!!!

you have a long day ahead of you but if it ends in you getting a new roommate you’ll be satisfied

luckily it’s a sunday and you don’t usually have plans on sunday

you even put out snacks and drinks for them on the coffee table to show how amazing of a roommate you’ll be (but also you put it out mainly because you know you’re going to become peckish halfway through the day)

“so, what are some of your hobbies?” you smile lightly and lean back against the couch

katie (she’s suPEr duper nice and you have a good feeling about her and she’s literally the firSt person you’re interviewing) grins excitedly before clapping her hands together and turning around to unzip her backpack

your brows knit together in confusion when you hear the slight tinkering of glass coming from her bag

and then she unzips it fully and shows you what’s inside

huh

“you have a bag of… empty mason jars…?” you trail off and tilt your head

why in the world would she collect empty mason jars

maybe she… sells mason jars?

either way it’s kind of odd but as long as she’s not hurting anyone it’s whatever

you can deal with a mason jar hoarder

“yep!” katie sighs and taps the side of the jar gently “i collect sounds.”

you blink owlishly at her and the whole time she keeps a faT smile on her face

“you collect- i’m sorry, i don’t think i follow-”

“do you like harry styles? i went to his concert last summer.”

you’re not sure how harry styles relates to mason jars but

aight

“oh yeah, i love harry styles, he’s very easy on the eyes and his songs are-“ she pulls out a mason jar and turns it so that you can look at the label on the front “…does that say harry styles concert?”  

“this memory is vEry special to me so i don’t usually open it, but i quite like you, so i’ll share some of this with you-“ she leans forward and untwists the cap before lifting it juSt a little bit

“oh, jesus.” namjoon mutters to himself

…

namjoon raises a brow when he sees you lean in a little

you have goT to be kidding

you cannot seriously be falling for this  

“ya hear that?????” she squeals and closes the jar before tucking it back into her bag “when i get angry i just listen to my sounds and they bring me to my happy place.” she sighs and cradles another jar to her chest

you squint your eyes to read the label

the label on it says-  

my goD that jar is labelled ‘grandma’s funeral’

what sound would even come out of that jar?? the sound of her family soBBing??

“o-oh! that’s… great. it’s good to have… hobbies.” your knuckles tighten around the clipboard and you swallow thickly

okay

so

it turns out katie is on a one way train to crazy town

“…we’ll let you know!”

now

the next guy

you’re definitely a fan of

probably even more than katie before you found out she was kind of veRy crazy

in fact

you like him so much that you’re allowing him to stay and chat for longer since the next person texted namjoon and said they were going to be a little late

his name is bukjoon which is a name you’ve never really heard before but the most important thing here is that he seems like a sweet guy anD he seems like a great roommate

he fits into your life perfectly and you’re honestly ready to just hand him a pen so that he can sign the lease

namjoon, on the other hand

namjoon doesn’t like the vibes from this guy because he’s eErily similar to him and he doesn’t know how you’re not picking that up

also he brought homemade chocolate chip cookies shaped like stars and you’ve already eaten like half the batch and namjoon doesn’t like that you haven’t touched the finger sandwiches that he made for you

“just to double check… your- your name is bukjoon. kim bukjoon?” namjoon tilts his head slightly before looking down at the list of names again

“yep!” the other male smiles brightly at namjoon before turning to look at you “now, a little bit about me as a potential roommate… i love cooking, cleaning, doing laundry - that includes ironing, steaming - i love all of it!”

you gasp

“that totally works out because usually namjoon takes care of the cooking and the cleaning and the laundry! i help take out the trash so-“

“oh, great! i hate taking out the trash.” bukjoon laughs lightly and namjoon narrows his eyes when he spots the faintest of dimples embedded in his cheeks

what in the freSH hell is this

he trails his eyes over bukjoon’s crisp button up tucked into a pair of slacks

his sensible dress shoes glint slightly from the lights and namjoon looks down at his own pair of dress shoes

glint

he isn’t going to lie

he feels slightly threatened right now

“also, i’m a total nature documentary freak-“

“oh my god, that’s so perfect! i love watching nature documentaries and i think you’ll make a great replacement for nam-“

“you know whAT-“ namjoon looks bukjoon dead in the eye as he aggressively scratches out his name on the clipboard “we’ll let you know.” he smiles cooly and tilts his head “…you can leave now.”

and bukjoon can take his damn star-shaped cookies with him for aLL namjoon cares

now, this guy…  

to say the least,,.

is very, very creepy (he didn’t even write his name down on the sign up sheet - he wrote down ‘applicant #8’)

“so…” you clear your throat after a full minute of silence (you asked him how his day was going so far and he just glared at you in response) “are you a student or do you wo-“

“i work.”

“cool! what kind of job-“

“i’m an embalmer.”

ah

yes

embalming

…what the heck is embalming

“an embalmer- sorry, what’s an embalmer?” you furrow your brows and lean forward a little bit

“i preserve corpses. would you like to know more about how to embalm bodies?”

okay ur not saying that’s a little weird

but uh

that’s a liTTle weird

“not particu-“

“there’s a lot of work that goes into it. for example, i have to embalm arteries as well after completely draining the blood from the heart.”

wait what

“how about you tell us about how you’d be as a potential roommate for y/n?” namjoon clears his throat and gives applicant #8 a polite smile

“i keep things very clean. very neat. i go to bed quite late. i do not usually invite guests over. i am quiet. please respect my privacy. do not go into my room. especially at night.”

you nod in agreement “yes, of course, i would never want to invade-“

“also, if the police ever call you, it would be best if you just pretended that you’ve never heard of me.”

uH

you swallow thickly and scoot a little closer to namjoon

namjoon reaches over and holds his arm out over you as if the both of you are preparing for this guy to just whiP a knife out and stab your eyes out

applicant #8 looks around before staring at you dead in the eye

you smile uneasily and wrap an arm around namjoon’s bicep “hey, that’s… funny! that’s a funny joke-“

“i see dead people.”

“wE will let you know!” both you and namjoon exclaim simultaneously

“i don’t know how much longer i can do this.” you groan and flop your arm over your eyes as you slump back against the couch

“you better buCk up because we’re only halfway through with the list.” namjoon looks over at the front door when the doorbell rings

you give your cheeks a couple pats to wake yourself up

c’mon

you can do this

you just have to get through a handful of people and then you’ll be done

namjoon squeezes his own cheeks because they’re so soRe from smiling politely all day

he plasters another smile on his face as he opens the door

“hi, you must be-“

“before we get started, you need to know a couple of things about me.” she pushes past namjoon and plops herself down on the couch

you and namjoon exchange glances and joon shrugs before closing the door

“well…” you clear your throat and cross your legs “that is what we’re here for, so-“

“firstly, i’m going to need to rearrange all of this furniture after moving in. the feng shui in here is way off.” she scrunches her nose up before digging through her huGe suede mary poppins looking bag

“i don’t know a lot about feng shui but i’d be happy to rearrange the furniture if you-“

“i’m in touch with my inner chi. are you?” she raises a brow and pulls out a tuft of sage and a lighter “the energy here is… dark. i’ll cleanse this place for you.”

“that’s really not- well, actually, the last guy in here was kind of creepy so maybe the sage is a good idea.” the sage immediately starts smoking as soon as she lights it and she gets up and starts pacing around the living room “i, uh, i don’t know a lot about my inner chi either, so…”

“yeah, that’s pretty obvious.” she snorts and waves the stick around

okay

weLL

you could do without the attitude but so far she seems harmless

“…is that going to set off the fire alarm?”

“i’ll go and open the balcony doors.” namjoon murmurs and points to the balcony windows before getting up off the couch

“i need to be in the privacy of this apartment for at least five hours a day because i like to take the time to meditate alone and i don’t want you to disturb my crystals.”

“you don’t want me to disturb your crystals…?”

“they charge in the sun to regenerate energy so i’ll need you out of the apartment from… 12 to 5. crystals are good for my energy and my soul.”

jesus christ

that’s IT

you’ve had ENOUGH

“i’m going to need you out of my apartment right now before i shove those crystals up your-“

“we’ll let you know!” namjoon slaps a hand over your mouth before you get to finish threatening her

“well… what do you think?” namjoon shuts the door behind him after escorting the crazy sage lady out (she was upset that she wasted her tuft of sage at a place she definitely wasn’t going to be living in and you’re pretty sure she tried casting a curse over the apartment but namjoon kicked her out before she had a chance to do that) “that was everyone…”

“you’re kidding me. that was everyone?” you frown and look over the list of names that have all been crossed out

“i mean… we met twenty eight candidates today… that’s a lot of people!” namjoon purses his lips and taps his pencil against the clipboard “just to let you know, that bukjoon guy was my least favourite-“

“i liked him! he was really nice-“

“he wasn’T-“

“he was-!”

“look, i have to go because i took the late night shift at the library-“ namjoon checks the time on his watch and winces slightly “shit, i’m going to be late!” he hands you his clipboard before picking his backpack up off the couch and unzipping it to check if he has everything “dinner’s in the fridge, don’t open the door for strangers - definitely don’t open the door for that embalmer guy if he comes back - if you turn the stove on please remember to turn it off… i’ll be back by midnight!” he smiles brightly and swings his backpack over his shoulder

“see you later, alligator” you hum and set the clipboard aside before making yourself comfortable on the couch

“in a while, crocodile!”

slam

you purse your lips in thought as you flick through all the new movies and shows on netflix

you could binge watch friends for like the tenth time

maybe watch that new murder mystery movie?

you definitely don’t want to watch a horror movie alone because you get the feeling that applicant #8 is going to pop out of nowhere and slit your throat with a dull knife

oOh you can watch that new nature docuseries

surprisingly those nature documentaries aren’t as boring as you thought they were

you can thank namjoon for your newfound love for nature documentaries

you nod to yourself and turn the volume up before pulling the throw blanket up to your chin

time to watch tv until your eyes roll out of your skull!!!

>:-)

“nothing symbolises our relationship with the high seas better than the blue whale…”

it’s about 10:30 now

namjoon left for work at around 5

the pasta casserole that namjoon made for you sits on the coffee table half eaten and with a fork stabbed into it

an open bag of tortilla chips and some guacamole also sit abandoned on the table

you’re pretty sure you ate like a family sized serving of pasta but you know what

sometimes it just be like dat!!

you’re also pretty sure namjoon would’ve scolded you for not using a plate and instead eating straight out of the pan but he’s not here so touGH luck

you’re on episode five-and-a-half of the docuseries (each episode is about an hour long) and unsurprisingly your eyes are starting to get a bit fuzzy because of how long you’ve been staring at the screen

which is why you took a break from your binge to take a shower just to give your eyes a break

you left the episode playing because it always creeps you out when the apartment is completely silent and you’re home alone

so now you’re sitting on the arm of the couch with your hair wrapped up in a towel and a toothbrush shoved into your mouth

“weighing 200 tons and 30 metres long, these are the largest animals ever to have existed…” you brows knit together in fascination when a blue whale swims across the screen

wowIE those things are huge

you reach down to scratch at the side of your bare thigh before continuing to brush your teeth

chakkachakkachakkachakka

you’re so enthralled with the whale on the screen that it takes you a couple seconds to register that someone’s knocking on the front door

you turn to look at the door and feel a little bit of pAnic rise within you when you hear them knock again

you don’t know if you should quickly run to the bathroom to spit your toothpaste out or just open the door with a frothy mouth

eh

it’s probably namjoon

he always forgets his house keys!!!

“i’m comingph, i’m comingph!” you reach up to wipe at the toothpaste beginning to dribble out of your mouth as you make your way to the door

chakkachakkachakkachakka

you shove your toothbrush into the side of your mouth before reaching down for the handle

“did yvou pheriously forget your keyphs again-?!” you open the door expecting to see namjoon standing there with a sheepish smile on his face but-

huh

“…you’re not namvjoon.”

oh good god

you have no idea who this person is but whoever he is he’s making you sweAT

he’s wearing a plain white tee tucked into a pair of distressed blue jeans and he has a comfy looking black and white flannel draped over him as well

obviously dyed honey brown hair peeks out from underneath his beanie

two black studs in his ears

“sorry to let you down.” he smirks lightly and his tongue pokes out to swipe over his bottom lip

he has the kind of face that you would describe as rather boyish and handsome

very chiseled as well

and that voice

oh, that voice

it’s slow and deep and it feels like you’re wading through warm honey

it hits you that you literally don’t have any shorts on and you instinctively tug your (namjoon’s) shirt down in a pathetic attempt to cover up a little more

you pull your toothbrush out of your mouth and pRay that you don’t accidentally spit on this veRy attractive stranger and you reach up to wipe your mouth with the back of your hand

you have half a mind to just swallow the mouthful of toothpaste but that’s just nasty yo

so you kind of manoeuvre the toothpaste to one side of your mouth so that you can speak normally

“can i help u?” you clear your throat

he pulls a flyer out from his back pocket and you recognise that it’s the roommate flyer namjoon made

oh

“you still looking for a roommate?”

“who… wants to know?” you clear your throat and keep your eyes trained on the flyer

“i’m taehyung. kim taehyung.”

cool so he introduces himself like james bond

“my friends call me tae.”  

“well, taehyung, it’s nice to meet you. i’m y/n y/l/n. …my friends call me… y/n…” you stick your hand out for him to shake and turn your head discreetly to look over your shoulder

the living room is a mESS

you turn back to face him “…could you give me a minute?”

taehyung doesn’t get a chance to respond before you’re shuTTing the door in his face

the next minute spent is the most chaotic minute you’ve ever experienced in your entire life

you turn the volume down on the tv and for a secOnd you can’t help but wonder if taehyung is going to judge you based on what you’re watching on netflix

maybe you should turn the tv off??

nO no you’re overthinking it just leave it on

you put the bag of chips and the tub of guac on the empty side of the casserole dish before rushing to the kitchen and shoving everyThing into the fridge

you spit the toothpaste out into the sink and quickly rinse your mouth out before tossing your toothbrush aside

it would probably be a good idea to leave your hair up in a towel otherwise your wet hair is going to make you look like a drowned rat

is it too late to slap on some makeup??? maybe cover up the pimple on your forehead or drAw some damn eyebrows on????

taehyung raises a brow when he hears a loud thump from inside the apartment

hm

you nearly trip over yourself as you hop back to the front door while slipping a pair of pyjama shorts on

jesus chRISt

you check yourself out in the mirror hanging on the wall next to the coatrack

well

this is as presentable as you’re going to get

“everything okay?” taehyung laughs lightly when you open the door sliGhtly out of breath

“everything’s perfect!” you nod enthusiastically “come on in” you step aside to let taehyung in and you let out a breath as you shut the door behind you

okay

just take it easy

be cool

be cool!!

you’re super cool

cooler than a dang cucumber that’s how cool you are

“pretty nice place you got here…” taehyung hums as he looks around and makes his way to the couch

“thank you! make yourself comfortable… do you want some tea, or coffee, or… i have a couple juice boxes in the fridge if you’re into that?” you scratch the back of your neck and gesture towards the kitchen

“a juice box sounds nice!” he smiles and plops himself down on the couch and smooths his hand over the soft fabric

you nod and head to the kitchen but turn to glance at him over your shoulder briefly “so, taehyung, tell me about yourself!”

“well, i’m a third-year student, i’m majoring in business and economics, minoring in art history, uh… oh, sorry i came by unannounced, by the way! i meant to sign up for a slot but i completely forgot and i figured it’d be alright to swing by briefly just to talk to you-“

“it’s totally fine! no big deal” you step out from the kitchen with two boxes of juice in your hands and you hand one to taehyung before sitting down next to him “as you saw i was just getting ready for bed but it’s honestly no biggie”

he punctures the hole with the straw before taking a sip

“tell me about your previous living situations” you cross your legs and turn to face him

taehyung tucks one leg under the other and turns to face you a little more

“well, i used to live in a… house, with a couple of other guys, but uh, i just thought it’d be a good idea to find a place with less people, you know? sharing a washroom with four other guys gets rough sometimes.” he snorts lightly and takes another sip of juice

“hm, that’s a fair point. i mean, if you lived here you would have to share a washroom with me but i’m a loT cleaner than four guys.” your eyes flicker to the tv for a second

you’ve always been awful at maintaining eye contact and there’s nO way you’re going to be able to hold taehyung’s gaze for more than five seconds without breaking into a cold sweat

“yeah, i don’t think i have to worry about you pissing all over the floors.” taehyung teases and shakes his head “but, a little bit more about myself as a roommate since that’s what i’m here for - i’m pretty chill, so i don’t think you have a lot you need to worry about. y’know, i try to keep things neat, try to keep things quiet and respectful and all that. you don’t have to worry about me bugging you or anything because i usually just keep to myself - it won’t even feel like you have a roommate!” he jokes before clearing his throat “is there anything that you… want to share with me?”

“well, let me think…” you purse your lips in thought and shift slightly “i think it’s super important that household chores are split evenly so like… if you finish the milk then yoU should be responsible for buying a brand new carton of milk at the supermarket! i actually have a chore chart stuck on the fridge so that we can see who’s in charge of what for the week.”

you falter slightly

oof

does the whole chore chart thing make u sound dorky

to be fair the chore chart was namjoon’s idea so he’S the dork in this situation but there’s no time to expLAIN

QUICK change the subject and make yourself sound like leSS of a freak

“uh, paying the bills on time is always a good thing! so… as long as you have money for me at the end of each month it’ll keep me from nagging you - noT that i’m like constantly going to be nagging you if you moved in with me but you know-“

taehyung lets himself space out for a moment as you continue to babble on and on

from what he can gather you seem like a decent person

a little bit of a doofus but still a decent person

you’re not bad to look at either

there’s something oddly endearing about you but he can’t quite figure it out yet

he nods and smiles and continues to pretend like he’s listening to you when in reality he’s singing that new taylor swift song in his head

all he has to do is play along and work his charm so that he can weasel his way into this apartment

are you still talking about the chore chart?

he has to admit

you seem like you’re a little uptight about certain things but honestly he just needs a place to live for the next year so he’ll have to find a way to deal with it

“you can go over the rules when i officially move in, how does that sound?” taehyung reaches out and places his hand over yours and you feel your cheeks flush slightly at the sudden initiation of c o n t a c t

“oh! uh, well, there’s a whole list of people that are also looking to move in so i can’t just…”

this is why you can’t do these things alone

if namjoon was here he would know exactly what to do

he’d probably tell the applicant that he’ll keep in touch and let him know but it seems like taehyung is taking advantage of the fact that you are alone..,., and defenceless.,,..

taehyung is noT leaving without knowing that he’s going to be your new roommate

“i’d like to move in as soon as possible, if that’s okay with you.”

“i, um, well, the lease expires this thursday and namjoon’s moving out on friday-“

“great! i can totally do friday.” taehyung chirps and sets his empty juice box down on the coffee table

waiT

your eyes widen when you realise that he’s talking as if you agreed to let him move in which is something you definitely did noT do yet

“moving in will be easy because i only have a couple of boxes of stuff anyway.” he hums and scoots a little closer to you until his knee bumps up against yours

“i-i, uH, you see, the thing is..,,.” you laugh uneasily and put your own juice box down “i still need to think about-“

“i personally think we’d make great roommates, don’t you, darling?” he hums and reaches over to tuck a strand of hair back into your towel with his pinky and you swallow thickly

for some reason you feel like you’re not allowed to say no to him

you already hate saying no to people but you feel like you really reaLLY can’t say no to taehyung

friCk

it feels like everything is happening too quickly

what would namjoon do

#wwnd!!!!!!!!

okay

u know what

just say: ’i’ll let you know’

i’ll

let

you

know

:-)

saY IT

….SAY IT

“…i’ll see you on thursday, y/l/n!” taehyung chirps happily as he steps into the elevator

he pokes his head out to give you one last wave and you let out a nervous laugh before shooting him a thumbs up

you close the door and reach up to scratch your head  

what just happened

what just haPPEneD

“…what just happened?” you breathe out and press your hands against your reddening cheeks

what just happened was that yoU just found your new roommate

goodbye kim namjoon

hello kim taehyung

you feel like you need to take another shower to shake yourself out of the funk that kim taehyung has put you in

“oh, by the way!!!! i don’t know how i completely forgot to tell you this but - i found a roommate!” you smile excitedly as you and joon take a seat at your usual lunch table

“oh!!!!!! that’s great!!!” namjoon grins while polishing his apple on his sweater vest “what’s his name?” he falters and narrows his eyes at you “…it better noT be buk-“

“taehyung! kim taehyung? something like that.” you shrug and take your baggie of baby carrots and cucumbers out of your lunch box

namjoon packed ur lunch for you :~)

“kim taehyung? kim… taehyung…” namjoon furrows his brows

that name sounds oddly familiar and he doesn’t know why

“i think you’ll really like him! he’s super polite and very charming and-“

“oh! kim taehyung!” namjoon’s eyes light up for a second when he remembers the face to the name

and then you can point out the moment the light dies in his eyes

uh oh

that doesn’t seem good

“oh. kim taehyung…” he lets out a breath “huh. i didn’t think you… would get along with someone like him.”

“what are you talking about?” you knit your brows together in confusion

namjoon presses his lips together and shrugs

“you really haven’t heard about kim taehyung? at all?”

you shake your head

“all i’m going to say is one time he came into the library with his frAT-bro friends - they were all very obviously drunk out of their minds - and he used the copier machine to make copies of his bare ass before plastering it around the library.” namjoon raises a brow before shuddering “i still get nightmares about it. i can’t touch the copier machine without disinfecting it three times beforehand.”

you wince

oof

that doesn’t seem like someone you’d want to be roomies with

“maybe we’re thinking of different kim taehyungs?” you offer meekly and crunch down on a carrot

“mm… no. i’m sure we’re talking about the exact same one. super deep voice - one that would be good for narrating a nature doc or one of those asmr videos on youtube - dyed brown hair - i think i saw him walking around with like, eLmo red hair once - are we talking about the same one?”

frick

“…okay, we’re talking about the same one.” you swallow your bite and suck some hummus off your thumb “well, you said he was drunk! people do silly things all the time when they’re drunk. you know, like that time you got super wasted and wouldn’t let me leave your room until i sat down and read the entire dictionary as your bedtime story.”

“what are you two squabbling about without us?” you jump when hoseok and jin suddenly appear with their lunches

hoseok slides in next to you and steals the baby carrot pinched in between your fingers before popping it into his mouth

“y/n’s new roommate is kim taehyung.” namjoon deadpans and hoseok and jin immediately exchange glances

“oh boy”

“bold choice”

“wha- am i the only one who doesn’T know about kim taehyung??” you exasperate and steal one of hobi’s fries in retaliation

he smacks your hand immediately and you scowl

“he’s a playboy - and that’s coming from me.” jin raises a brow and namjoon nods in agreement

“so what? what he does in his personal life doesn’t matter to me.”

“it’ll matter when he starts bringing girls home and the only thing you’ll be able to hear is obnoxious moaning aND the headboard knocking against the wall.” hobi snorts

“well, if it gets out of hand i’m sure he’ll tone it down after i talk to him about it.” you grumble and push your lunch box away a liTTle more aggressively than intended

“as if kim taehyung is going to listen to you - you’re about as intimidating as a baby lamb, y/n.”

you hate it when the guys treat you as if you’re a helpless little baby

you can make decisions on your own!!!!!

even if this was a bad decision it doesn’t matter because the point is yoU made this decision all by yourself and that’s something that’s super important to you

you don’t need to rely on anyone else!!!!!

with that being said

you’ve completely lost your appetite

you feel sick to your stomach

you can’t help but feel like you just made a fatAL mistake

the boys are acting like you signed a deal with the devil and you’re starting to believe you actually did

“how do you guys know so much about him anyway??”

“finish your lunch or else you’ll get cranky later-“ namjoon pushes your lunch box back towards you and raises a brow and you huff before digging out your sandwich

“i’m very good at eavesdropping.” jin points out “also, he’s usually at all the parties i’m at. aLso i hung out with him a couple times at those parties - he’s a friendly guy, don’t get me wrong, and i’m sure all it took to convince you to let him become your roommate was him looking at you with those chocolatey brown puppy dog eyes - but you, my friend… you’re fucked.”

“i am not fucked!”

“he’s friends with…” hobi trails off and drums his fingers against the table “what are their names again?”

“park jimin and jeon jungkook.” jin’s always been a walking encyclopaedia of campus gossip which is proving to be very useful at this time “they’re all basically the exact same person. sleeping around, causing trouble, being dickheads in general… one time i got hit in the back of my head with jungkook’s football and i didn’t even get a sorry-”

“you just said he was a friendly guy!!!” you don’t mean to interrupt jin in the middle of his fun little story but you just need to know what you signed yourself up for

“yeah, he’s friendly when he wants something from you, duh. he’s a dickhead the rest of the time.”

o god

taehyung definitely wanted something from u

he wanted the apartment from you

does this mean he’s going to become an asshole now??

what have you DONE

“…i’m sure it’ll be fine, though!” hobi smiles and pats your shoulder gently “…you gonna finish your sandwich or what?”

thursday rolls around muCh sooner than you would’ve liked

after your many, maNy conversations with jin (you sat him down and forced him to tell you eveRything that he’s ever heard about taehyung) you have come to the conclusion that kim taehyung is not who he presented himself to be and the next year of your life is going to be a living nightmare

he sleeps around a lot (which is totally fine with you like that’S not the thing you have a problem with) = loud sex is going to keep you up!!!!

he’s messy = you’re neat-ish!!!!

he’s a night owl = you’re a morning person-ish!!!!

he’s loud = you’re quiet-ish!!!!

he likes to throw parties = you hate parties!!!! you hAte the idea of having a group of strangers chilling out in your apartment getting their grubby straNGer hands all over your couch and your tv and youR food and youR juice boxes

“please don’t leave me.” you whimper and tighten your grip around namjoon’s arm before propping your chin up on his shoulder

most of namjoon’s stuff is already at his apartment but he came back to pick up one last box of his belongings but he feels like he should’ve just abandoned his sweaters

because you won’t let him leave and he needs to gO because he’s roasting a chicken in his oven!!!!!!  

“you’ll be fine, relax.”

“can’t you stay here til he comes?”

“my apartment’s going to burn down if i don’t leave now. look, i’m only a ten minute walk away, if you’re overwhelmed, you’re welcome to come and spend the night.”

you purse your lips in thought and wrinkle your nose

“maybe i should just move in with you-“

“absolutely noT you are not moving in with me-“ namjoon reaches over and thwacks your forehead so that you let go of his arm “good luck - i’ll text you later!”

damn it

so

taehyung swings by an hour and a bit later with a bright, boxy smile on his face ready to move on into namjoon’s room

you had to give yourself a mini pep talk before opening the door for him with a forced smile

you asked him if he needed any help bringing anything up but he insisted on taking care of everything himself because he didn’t want to be a bother to you which definitely surprised you

you also offered to help him unpack his boxes but he told you to take it easy and just watch some tv or something (“why don’t you watch one of those animal documentaries you like so much?”)

maybe jin was wrong about him!!

see

you shouldn’t believe rumours so quickly!!

you were silly to get all scared and panicky

you gave him a quick tour even though there’s not a lot to the apartment

his bedroom is next to yours

the bathroom is down the hallway

the kitchen is there

this is the living room

the laundry room is on the 10th floor and you keep a little baggie of quarters in the chest by the front door

“taehyung?” you knock on his door before poking your head into the room

he already has a couple posters up on the wall so it seems like he’s settling in pretty nicely

taehyung lets out a quiet breath and rolls his eyes when he hears your voice

you can’t go like 20 minutes without bugging him and he gets that you’re just trying to be friendly and helpful but like

you really need to relax

he’s in the middle of hanging some shirts up in his closet and he forces a smile onto his face before turns to look at you “hey! what’s up?”

“i have a little housewarming gift for you!” you pull a little potted plant out from behind your back before stepping into his room “it’s a baby peace lily!” you hold it up for him to look at “it was actually supposed to go to namjoon but i forgot that i already gave him a little cactus for his desk so… i thought maybe you’d like something to spruce up your room!”

taehyung looks at the tiny plant in your hands

oh

that’s kind of nice of you

it’s not that he doesn’t like you or anything because you do seem nice

you’re just on the opposite end of the spectrum compared to him in terms of personalities (and from what he can tell, social status)

which isN’t a big deal but

eh

he’s just not used to you

your smile falters for a second and you look over at him with wide eyes “noT that your room isn’t alreAdy spruced up but i just thought that maybe-“

“thank you very much, i love it already.” taehyung laughs lightly and walks over to you before plucking it out of your hands “i don’t have any gifts for you because i didn’t think i…” he sets the plant down on the window sill and brushes his fingers over the leaves before glancing at you “-needed to give you anything…”

he smiles sheepishly and scurries over to his bed for his backpack

he unzips it quickly and spills the contents of it out onto his bed

“oh god, don’t worry about it, you definitely didn’t have to get anything for me, i just-“

“ah! here we go.” taehyung grins as he pulls a brand new pack of gum out of the mounTain of loose papers and pens

he stands up before handing it to you with both hands and bowing a little “a fresh pack of gum for my wonderful new roommate. it’s my favourite flavour - strawberry!”

you laugh lightly and take it from him

yeah

you think you’re going to get along really well with kim taehyung

he’s not bad!!!

not bad at all

:~)

so

now that namjoon no longer lives here you’ve taken it upon yourself to become the ‘captain’ of the apartment

this basically means you’re in charge of eveRything because you feel like taehyung isn’t exactly the leader type

the thing is

every morning after you got up namjoon would already have the apartment cleaned up from the night before

the pillows would be fluffed and arranged neatly; the throw blanket folded up and sitting on the sofa chair

the blinds would be pulled up to let the sunlight in (and he usually opens the balcony doors just a crack to let some fresh air in)

the coffee table dusted and free of greasy fingerprints or watermarks

the coffee machine turned on and churning away

the plants out on the balcony are watered (he took the bonsai and left you the daisies)

the dishes on the drying rack put away from the night before

namjoon did a loT now that you think about it

you never really realised how much he did around this place until now

now that.,.,,. he’s not ur roommate anymore.,,..

:-(  

it still huRTS

you thought it would be easy to fall into your new schedule but you fell asleep on the couch in the middle of fluffing the pillows and you ended up taking a 20 minute snooze

you woke up when you rolled over and fell on the floor with a thuMp lol

you rub at your bleary eyes as you shuffle over to the blinds

it’s 7am so the sun is just starting to peek out and say hello

you let out a yawn as you pull the string and the blinds go up slowly

one thing that you’ll always love about living all the way up on the 21st floor is the beautiful view of the city skyline

you see all the highways intertwining with each other and all the tiny cars going here and there

and of course the view of the ocean!!

no wonder namjoon liked to get up so early

the peace and tranquillity of watching the city beginning to wake up is actually pretty pleasant  

you let out a happy sigh before pushing the one of the balcony door handles down and opening it just a little-

“what do you think you’re doing?”

“jEsus-“ you practically jump ten feet into the air when your new roommate makes himself known

you whip around and almost jump again when you realise that taehyung is literally riGht behind you

“how did you get here so quietly??” you mumble before shaking your head and moving to open the other set of blinds so that you can open the other balcony door

you yank the blinds up and taehyung groans and squints at the sudden onslaught of liGht

“when you do it like that it’s sO LOUd”

you clench your jar and turn to face him before putting a hand on your hip

“well, how else am i supposed to open it??”

taehyung shoves you aside and pulls the string again so that the blinds roll back down

he turns to give you a pointed look before sHOVING his hand right in between the shutters and pushing the handle down to open the door “like that.”

wha-

wHAT

WHAT KIND OF MONSTROSITY-

“but- buT then you bend the shutters and- sEE SEE look you dented it!!!!” you push him aside to at least tRy and bend the shutters back into place and scowl to yourself when you see the little dent even after you straightened it out

“so what? if you have to open the balcony doors every morning you should do it like that because a) you don’T have to open the blinds and hurt your eyes so early in the morning, and b) you won’t wake me up from all the ruckus!” taehyung states as if it’s the most obvious thing in the world

“i���ll take your suggestion into consideration next time, thank you” you smile through gritted teeth and follow him to the kitchen

taehyung opens up the fridge and pulls out the carton of apple juice

he unscrews the lid of the apple juice carton and you’re about to ask him if he knows where you put the cups but thEN he starts chuGGing out of it like an uncultured sWINE and you literally fEEL your heart stop

that is so nASTY

he lets out a satisfied ‘ah~’ before putting it back into the fridge

“anyways, now that i’m up,” he slams the fridge door shut and turns to face you with a bright smile “you gonna make breakfast for us or what? because i am starving!”

you know what

you think you’re getting used to sharing a washroom with taehyung

it’s actually not that bad besiDes the fact that he occasionally forgets to put the toilet seat back down but u know what it’s totally fine it’s not a big deal

all you’re saying is that joonie never forgot to put the toilet seat down because he’s very courteous and knows that in the morning when you’re half asleep you’re not going to remember to put the seat down-

“chRist-“ you gasp in shock when your ass basically falls riGHt into the toilet bowl and you reach out next to press a hand against the wall while the other grips at the countertop

you let out a groan and get up before quickly turning to put the seat down

but yes

as you were saying

it’s really not that bad sharing a washroom with taehyung

you flush the toilet before pushing the shower curtain aside to turn the tap on

you hum to yourself and pull your shirt off before tossing it into the hamper

you just have to get used to the fact that taehyung isn’t like namjoon

your brows furrow when you reach under the tap to check the temperature of the water

,.,.why is it still.,,. cold

it doesn’t take this long for the water to get hot

unless

you poke your tongue into your cheek when something crosses your mind

taehyung must’ve used up all the hot water

your grip on the edge of the bathtub tightens until your knuckles turn white

okay!

no problem!

a cold shower will certainly wake you up for sure!!!!  

and you remember namjoon mentioning something about how cold showers help with your metabolism or something like that so maybe you should be thanking taehyung for using up all the hot water like a selfish pRICK-  

“no problem, we’re all good…” you mutter to yourself and pull the little knob on top of the tap so that the water will go to the showerhead-

you yELP when you’re suddenly blasted with icy cold water and you immediately wrap your arms around yourself in a pathetic attempt to keep yourself warm

oh my goD

o-o-o-okay this is going to be the f-f-fastest shower you’ve ever taken in your e-e-entire life because you’re pretty sure that if you spend another f-f-five minutes in here you’re going to get h-h-hypothermia

you shiver as you pick up the bottle of shampoo and-

oh you are k-k-k-kiDDING

you don’t have any shampOO LEFT

you bought this two weeks ago!!!!! how the hell did you use it all up???????

you clench your jaw when it hits you onCe again

k i m

t a e h y u n g

this shampoo is expensive too!!! it’s goat milk shampoo and it makes your hair smell suPer good and feel silky soft  

no wonder he smelled oddly familiar the other night

you jump when you hear knocking on the bathroom door

you push the curtain aside aggressively “what????”

“i need to take a piss!!!! hurry it up in there!!”

you resist the urge to huRL the empty shampoo bottle at the door

anyone who knows you knows that sundays have always been your favourite day of the week

sunday is the perfect day to just relax and unwind from the whole week aND saturday

plus you and namjoon sometimes go to brunch on sunday so that’s another reason why you look forward to sundays so much

you don’t have any plans today which means you have all the time in the world to just chill out and-

“oh. my. god.” your jaw drops in pure shOCK when you walk into the kitchen

it looks like a tornado blew through the kitchen while you were sleeping  

wh-

hoW did this happen????

the kitchen was completely spotless yesterday!!!!!!

you know that because you literally spent like 2 hours cleaning the kitchen last night!!!!!!!!

you were on your hands and knEES scrubbing at the kitchen tiles until each one of them were smooth and polished!!!!

but now??

the garbage bin isn’t closed all the way because it’s literally overflowing with traSH and there’s a banana peel hanging out over the edge

there’s a whole mouNTAIN of dirty dishes and mugs in the sink

you just stepped on a sticky spot and you don’t even want to know what dried up there

and the fridg-

the-

the frIDGE ISN’T CLOSED

you feel a shiver tingle up your spine at the thought of all of your food going to waste because of a warm fridge

you immediately rush over and open the fridge door all the way to see if-

“oh nOnOnOnonoooOooo-“ you reach forward to press the back of your knuckles against the carton of milk and curse to yourself when you realise that it’s literally room temperature

you don’t know how long the fridge has been opened but you know that it’s probably not safe to eat whatever’s in there

everything in the fridge is spoilt as far as you’re concerned

even your overpriced honey-cinnamon greek yogurt that you literally bought two days ago

you’re going to have to dump everything out

what a waste of money!!!!!! now you have to go grocery shopping today and replenish all the food!!!!!!

you should wake tae up and ask him to chip in for the grocery fees

“i can’t get over how comfortable that mattress is…” you turn to look when a sleepy taehyung steps into the kitchen

“what the hell happened??” you exasperate as you grab another garbage bag from the cupboards and shake it open “when i went to bed last night the kitchen was spotless because i cleaned it but i come in this morning and it looks like someone hosted like thrEE frat parties in here all at once-“

“y/l/n, cchhiiiilllll.” taehyung yawns and stretches his limbs out before reaching up to rub at his eyes “i just brought all my dishes and my trash to the kitchen a couple hours after you went to bed, it’s not a big deal.”

oh

okay

well

he’s right

it’s not a big deal

as long as he takes out the trash and washes his own dishes it’s not a big deal

“this is… it’s a lot of trash and a lot of dirty dishes…” you mutter as you take a look around

“it’s only like five days worth of trash and dishes - it’s not that much.” taehyung nudges you aside so that he can look into the fridge “…where’s all the food?”

“in the garbage bag.” you step aside to gesture to the veRy full garbage bag behind you “the fridge was open when i came down and everything in there was warm so i’m throwing everything out.”

“you’re- oh my goD you’re literally wasting so much money right now-“

“most of the things in there were mine anyways so it’s not that big-“

“you threw out that honey-cinnamon yogurt?? i was almost done eating that!!!” taehyung frowns and shoots a glare in your direction

your eyelid twitches

so

he’s been helping himself to your organic vegan yogurt hUH

and he was ‘almost done eating’ it??

you bought it tWo days ago and it’s a huge thing of yogurt which means he must’ve really reALLY been helping himself to it

“hey, so when are you going to go grocery shopping?” tae closes the fridge before nudging you aside again to get to the sink

and at first you think he’s going to get a head start on those dirty dishes but theN-

you feel a wire inside of your brain short circuit almost immEdiately when taehyung uses a wet paper towel to wipe the rim of a dirty cup before turning your coffee machine on and placing the dirty cup under the nozzles

you remind yourself to never accept a cup of coffee from him

it’s totally not a big deal

some people have certain quirks that you’ll never understand but that certainly doesn’t mean that they’re not nice and that you can’t get along with them

“well… i wasn’t going to go until thursday but considering the fact that the fridge is literally empty i guess i’m going today-“

“great, because i have a list of things that i’m gonna need you to pick up for me.” taehyung sighs and plucks an apple out from the fruit bowl

you furrow your brows immediately

“well, you could always come with me-“

“nah, i’m not good at it.” he takes a giAnt bite of his apple

“…you’re not good at- how can you not be good at grocery shopping-?“

“wait, does this mean you threw out the creamer, too?? now i have to drink black coffee?? dude, groSS” taehyung whines and wrinkles his nose at the fresh cup of coffee he just brewed for himself

“…just give me your stupid list.”

if you had a dollar for every time taehyung irritated you, you would honestly be a billionaire at this point

not even a billionaire

you would be a triLLionaire

“would it kill you to do the dishes sometime?” you wipe your damp hands down on the back of your leggings as you step out of the kitchen and into the living room

taehyung is currently lazing on the couch helping himself to a bag of chips while scrolling through his phone

“you know what, it actually would.” taehyung glances up at you “i’m like super duper 100% deathly allergic to dish soap. frankly, i’m offended you even asked.” he pops a chip into his mouth

crunch crunch crunch

you clench your jaw in frustration

for a second you can’t help but wonder what it’d feel like to drive your fist right into the middle of that pretty little face

“ooookay, if you can’t do the dishes, then you can help me take out the trash.”

taehyung sighs and shakes his head “no can do, buddy. i’m also allergic to garbage bags.”

woW what a friCKin coincidence

“…you can do the laundry!” you clap your hands together before placing them on your hips

your foot starts to tap against the floor impatiently when taehyung bring a chip to his mouth slowly and bites it in half

a couple crumbs fall onto his chest and he brushes them onto the floor

he clears his throat  

“detergent falls into the same category as dish soap-“  

“you know what? forget i asked! forget it!” you lauGh and raise your hands in defence before walking away “i give uP! i frickin GIVE UP-“

taehyung jumps when he hears your bedroom door slam shut

he shrugs and pops another chip into his mouth

unsurprisingly

namjoon, jin, and hobi aLL think that you’re not getting along with taehyung

and even though that is a very true statement

unsurprisingly

your natural instinct is to prove them wrong

“we’re getting along just fine, thank you very much for your concern.” you adjust your backpack strap before shaking your head “he’s actually super great, contrary to your guys’ belief. he’s a wonderful roommate! i love taehyung!”

the way you’re speaking almost sounds like you’re trying to convince yourSelf that you love taehyung

and you’ve never really been good at persuading people

namjoon can’t help but roll his eyes

you’re already very stubborn and he haTes dealing with you when you get like this

he doesn’t understand why you can’t just admit that taehyung is a horrible roommate!!!!

“i mean, sure, he’s a little messy, but who isn’t? it’s totally not a big-“

“hey, check it out!” namjoon interrupts your little speech about how amazing taehyung is as a roommate to point over by the vending machines “why don’t you go and say hi to your super duper wonderful angel of a roommate?”

you swallow thickly when you follow namjoon’s line of sight

yep

that’s taehyung alright

you’d recognise that beanie anywhere

frick

it looks like he’s with a group of his friends

you see him pull a plastic baggie of quarters out of his backpack

hey look at that!

that’s nice of him

he’s treating his friends to some snacks

…

wait a second

you feel one of your veins buST open when it hits you

is that.,,.,. is that the lauNDRY MONEY

he’s using the laundry money to pay for snacks and drinks???!??!

“you know, i don’t know if that’s a good idea!” you clear your throat when you feel the boys slowly nudging you towards his direction

hobi literally has his hands pushing against your lower back while namjoon has his fingers wrapped around your wrist

“he looks like he’s in the middle of a very riveting conversation and i wouldn’t want to-“

“kim TAEHYUNG-“ hobi screeches before plopping down on the bench and gesturing for namjoon and seokjin to duck down as well

you panic and you’re about to sit down too but it’s too late

taehyung turns around to understandably find whoever it was who just screamed out his name in the middle of the cafeteria and immediately locks gazes with you

oh god

okay just say hi

“hi taehyung!” you smile brightly and wave at him a liTtle too enthusiastically

jin immediately grabs your hand and pulls it down because your wrist is going to pop off if you wave any harder

now

a normal person would wave back when they’re being waved to

unfortunately for you taehyung is not a normal person

taehyung raises a brow before snorting gently and turning back to his group of friends “as i was saying…“

your jaw drops slightly

what the hell was that

namjoon kisses his teeth and shakes his head

he’s about to hit you with the faTTest ‘I Told You So’ of all time

“it’s a fun little game we play.” you sit down quickly and smooth out your skirt

you can feel your cheeks growing red at the complete mortification of the situation

“you guys wouldn’t understand.” you clear your throat and laugh lightly “he’s so silly!”

namjoon frowns and turns to look at taehyung over his shoulder for a second

you are one of the moSt important people in his life and he hates that you’re being treated like shit

“you still think we believe you when you tell us that you like him?” he sighs while wiping his apple on his shirt

“…just eat your lunch.”

okay

you’re starting to think that you’re incapable of noT thinking about taehyung

you don’t get it!!!

maybe it’s because you have this innate need to be liked and when you realised that taehyung might noT like you that much your brain was like well,.,,. now i’m going to keep thinking about why he doesn’t like us.,,.,.

even when you’re asleep it sounds like your brain won’t stop repeating the words ‘oh my god, taehyung, oh my god, taehyung-‘

“oh my god, tae, fuck yes-“

oh my god

your eyes pop wide open and you stare into the darkness

…

…

…

okay

maybe you just imagined it

that was just your imagination and it definitely wasn’t-

“yes, right there, fuck me with your huge-“

OH

OH NO

oH IT’S NOT YOUR IMAGINATION

THiS IS REAL

“oh god, yes, i’m cumming, you’re gonna make me- ah!”

you feel your entire face burning up as you try to suppress your own screams by flipping over and shoving your face into your pillow

this is a nightmare

a niGHTMARE

also this is a schOOL night so they have no business getting it on when all of you have classes tomorrow

and just when you thought it couldn’t get any worse

you hear the headboard beginning to smack against the wall and- “oh my god, tae-!”

and you nearly start crying

“oh my god, tae...” you whimper to yourself and feel a shiver go up your spine

bLEugh

you yank the covers up over your head and curl up into a ball

you didn’t even know he snuck a girl home!!!!

how did he do that so quietly!!!!!!

when you wake up the next morning you’re not sure if the entire night was some sort of weird fever dream or not

you finally fell asleep at like three in the morning because thaT’s when the screaming and the bed-rocking died down

and then you woke up early because you’re pretty sure taehyung woke his pal up with his head in between her legs (“tae, your tongue feels so-!“)

she’s very communicative which is key in a relationship so hopefully things work out between the two of them!!1!!

you blink down at your bowl of cereal and watch as the now-soggy cheerios float around your spoon

you.,,. don’t have an appetite this morning which is very rare because you’re aLways in the mood to eat

“hi! you must be tae’s roommate!” your spoon clatters against the side of your porcelain bowl when taehyung’s lady friend pops out of nowhere

jesus chRist

she was quiEt

she’s dressed in what appears to be one of taehyung’s tattered t-shirts (the same one he was wearing when he left the apartment yesterday morning) and you allow yourself to stare at the hickies decorating her neck and collarbone as she reaches up to pull the shirt up slightly

you’re tempted to offer her a pair of shorts or something because homegirl’s ass is fully out right now (she’s wearing a g-string which is basically noTHING)

“this is the part where you introduce yourself, y/l/n.” taehyung pops up behind her and raises a brow at you

oh

riGht

you reach up to wipe away the milk that’s driBBling down your chin and you reach out to shake her hand “hi! yes, i’m the roommate… i’m y/n.”

“i’m soo-young, but you can call me joy if you’d like…” she’s a little preoccupied because she keeps looking over your shoulder at tae who’s currently drinking out of the orange juice carton like an animal

joy, huh?

very fitting considering she was screaming of joy last night anD this morning

“well, it’s very nice to meet you, joy.” you push yourself up off the counter before spinning around and promptly grabbing the carton from taehyung’s grubby hands “can i offer you anything? we have cereal, instant oatmeal, frozen waffles and bagels…” you hum and pull a cup from the cupboards before pouring a glass of juice for tae

side note

if you ever need to make a little money in the future maybe you can open up some kind of bed and breakfast thing

taehyung can take care of the bed part and you can do the breakfast part lol

anyways back to it

you hand the clean glass to him with a little glare and he smirks before accepting it and taking a small sip

“of course, i’ll toast the bagel for you… unless you eat frozen bagels?” you joke and put the orange juice back into the fridge before standing back up and leaning against the fridge door “we have cream cheese, oR i make this really good cinnamon butter that i’d be happy to share with you”

joy’s eyes widen before she looks over at taehyung

“uh, i… actually, i was thinking that tae and i could go out for breakfast or somet-“

“i’m gonna go take a shower.” taehyung chirps and hands you the empty glass before moving to head out of the kitchen

“maybe we can take a shower together! save some water?” joy offers shyly and grabs onto taehyung’s wrist

oh

bless her heart

his eyes flicker down to where she’s gripping him and he shakes her off gently “um, we’re trying to conserve hot water so… maybe you should wait til you get back to your place. by the way - would you mind tossing the shirt into the hamper after you change? thanks, sweetheart.” he clicks his tongue and gives her a heaRTy pat on the shoulder  

you mouth a quiet ‘yikes’ to yourself when taehyung leaves the kitchen and joy looks like a puppy who’s just been kicked in the face

her entire face is red and she looks like she’s about to start crying

oof

it’s not greAT of taehyung to brush her off like that but according to your knowledge taehyung is a one night stand kind of guy so.,.,,

you really hope she doesn’t start crying because you never know how to comfort people and ur not about to start now

you clear your throat as joy looks down at the shirt she’s wearing and picks at a loose thread on it  “…how about i smear extra cream cheese on your bagel for you?”  

“bye! thanks for putting the shirt in the hamper…” you offer joy a sheepish smile and watch as she steps into the elevator before you close the front door

so

she didn’t want the bagel even after you toasted it anD put extra cream cheese on it

she definitely wasn’t as joyful as she was when she first came out of tae’s room reeKing of sex

...okay it was funny the first two times but now ur just beating a dead horse

you were about to offer her some clothes for her taxi ride back home because if you were in this situation you would rather be dressed in a hoodie and leggings instead of a tight mini-dress and six inch platform heels at 9 in the morning buT uh

that would give her an excuse to come back and you get the feeling that taehyung doesn’t want her to come back

“taehyung?” you give the bathroom door a couple knocks before taking a step back “i toasted a bagel for joy but she didn’t seem to have an appetite so do you want to split it-“

the bathroom door swiNGs open and you flinch slightly at the onslaught of heat and steam that comes out from it

and then time seems to slow down

taehyung steps out of the washroom with a towel hanging loosely around his hips and a smaller one hanging around his neck

h-holy.,,., holy shIT

smooth, glistening caramel skin with the warm bathroom lights illuminated behind him like a halo

droplets of water practically cascading down the ridges of his broad chest and the faint ridges of his abs and woW that’s a v-line for suRE

you swallow dryly and look up to see taehyung staring right back at you with the coCkiest of smirks on his face

oH

“oh, god, i’m sorry-“ you immediately spin around so that you’re facing the other way and you feel your face starting to heat up  

“it’s all good.” taehyung chuckles lightly “what were you saying about a bagel?”

“i, uh, i was wondering if you wanted to split a bagel because-” you turn to look at him over your shoulder and your eyes widen when you realise he’s standing a loT closer to you as he dries his hair “-b-because joy didn’t seem to want it-“

“yeah, i’m down. lemme put some sweatpants on and i’ll join you in the kitchen.” taehyung puRPosely brushes past you and you catch a whiff of his musky aftershave

you feel your knees grow weak when you see his back muscles flex slightly as he walks down the hall to his bedroom

“head’s up!” he turns around quickly and tosses the smaller towel at you and luCkily your reflexes are fast enough to catch it before it hits your face

you shake yourself out of it quiCkly and pat your hot cheeks

“…wait, are you putting a shirt on too or are you just coming in sweatpants-“

tae’s white towel fLIes out from his room before the door slams shut

“so… joy seems like a nice girl.” you drum your fingers against the side of your mug before taking a sip of coffee (it’s coLD now but you’ll drink it anyways)

“mm.” taehyung murmurs and takes another monster bite of his bagel

“are you… planning to call her or text her or-“

“nah.”

“you shouldn’t have let her weAr your clothes if you’re not going to call her again-“

“she put it on herself and she already knew this was going to be a one time thing” taehyung glances up at you from his phone before giving you an expression that screams ‘duH’ “plus, it’s none of your business.”

you scoff at taehyung and raise a brow “it becomes my business when the vigorous and veRY loud sex happens in my apartment and i’m going to be the one the landlord contacts when we get noise complaints.”

“it’s our apartment”

“my name is on the lease. it’s mine. you’re renting from me.”

taehyung pokes his tongue into his cheek before setting his phone down harshly “what do you want from me, huh? it’s not my fault she was so loud. i can’t help that i’m so good with my-“

“i want you to keep things respectful because you are noT the only occupant of this apartment. keep your sexcapades at a decEnt volume! gag your next friend for all i care!! i was going to sleep in but i had to get up early because someone was moaning up a storm-”

“again, not my fault- it seems to me that someone needs to get laid because you’re waY too uptight and it’s obvious you’re kind of a prude-“

uM

“i am noT a-“ you let out a breath of frustration before shaking your head and turning around “you know what, i’m going to go and get ready to head out!” the mug nearly shatters from the sheer force of you setting it down in the sink

you should’ve said yes to bukjoon

you should’ve!!!!!!

you let out a sigh as you stare blankly out the window

where is bukjoon?

what’s he doing now?

you miss him

you just let him sliP through your fingers

:-(

sure, you would have to had face the fiery wrath of namjoon but the guy’s about as intimidating as a baby penguin so that wouldn’t have been too hard to deal with

speaking of namjoon

you’re looking forward to the lunch that namjoon packed for you today!!  

you managed to calm yourself down a little after your chat with taehyung this morning and now all you can think about is how greAt today is going to be

your outfit is cute

your hair isn’t frizzy

your makeup looks nice and deWy just the way you like it

and one of your lectures got cancelled today so you get to come home a little earlier!

anyways

a classic namjoon lunch (specifically personalised and created for (1) y/n y/ln) includes the following items:

1x smooth peanut butter and strawberry jelly sandwich with no crust

he avoids chunky peanut butter because he knows that you have sensitive gums aND you don’t want peanut bits all up in your teeth after you’re done eating

he used to shape them like hearts but one time you opened your lunch box (yes, namjoon even got you a tin lunch box) in front of hoseok and jin and they immediately started teasing you and asking you what other shapes mama namjoon could do

namjoon wasn’t the least bit embarrassed because he loVes preparing lunch for you but you were traumatised and from that moment on you requested that namjoon simply slice off the crusts and leave it at that

1x baggie of baby carrots and baby cucumbers

1x little pot of hummus

1x homemade chocolate chip cookie that’s always the size of your palm never bigger never smaller

1x carton of either banana/chocolate milk oR apple/orange/pineapple-strawberry juice

you take the box out of the fridge and-

your brows immediately furrow

why,.,.

why does the box feel so light

you give it a little shake

it certainly doesn’t sound like there’s little baggie of baby carrots and cucumbers waiting for you to devour them

your heart sinks to your stomach and your eyes actually begin to water when you open up the box to see that all that’s in there are a couple empty plastic baggies and some breadcrumbs

you swallow thickly

“hey, when are you doing the laundry?” taehyung pops into the kitchen and perks up when he sees you with the lunch box “oh, the bagel wasn’t enough for me and i noticed that the food in that box was the only other decent thing to eat. if i didn’t eat that i would’ve starved to death. by the way, there was a note in the lunch box and it seemed like it was for you but honestly… who’s to say?” taehyung tosses a crumpled up note at you and you catch it before uncrumpling it and-

‘i know you asked for no more heart shaped sandwiches but i bought a new cookie cutter and i just had to use it. see you later today! -joon’

oh

oH

this son of a biTCH

“also, who has the time to shape sandwich bread into-“

“what do you mean ‘who’s to say’???? this was obVIOUSly for me!!!!” you feel your eyes glazing over even moRe purely out of frustration with taehyung and his eyes widen “i’m the only other person who lives in this apartment and if this lunch box doesn’t belong to you then obviously it’s meant for mE you IDIOT”

“jesus, y/l/n, calm down! it’s just food!!” taehyung furrows his brows before scoffing “here, i’ll give you $20 for lunch.” he rummages through his pockets and pulls out a couple of bills

you look at the bills before looking at him and shaking your head

“you’re a dick.” you sniffle as you dump the plastic baggies into the recycling bin

“…what, do you need more lunch money? how much do you eat??”

“that is not the point!”

“okay, $30 for lunch! god, take all my money, why don’t you??”

as time goes on you begin to realise that kim taehyung is truly an asshole

there’s no better word to describe him than an asshole

he’s an inconsiderate, arrogant, uncaring, selfish, complete asshole of a man and you don’t know what you did to deserve this

you really don’t!

he doesn’t care about you at all

in fact

he treats you as if you were his personal maid or something

you’re always picking up after him and you’re always cleaning up his messes anD you’re always escorting his lady friends out of the door the morning after with a to-go cup of coffee and half a bagel

you don’t havE to do all these things for him but you do!!!

you say you’re only continuing to do all these things for taehyung because you’re a nice roommate but according to namjoon you’re a-

“pushover. a complete pushover!” namjoon pauses to glance at you over his shoulder as you trail behind him and his book cart

he hands you a book and you slide it into place

“i am not a pushover!!”

he turns around with a thiCk dictionary in his hands and starts flipping through it

you scoff and place a hand on your hip as you watch him slide his finger down the page

“what are you doin-“

“pushover: noun.” he clears his throat and adjusts his glasses “an opponent who is easy to defeat or a victim who is capable of no effective resistance. someone unable to resist an attraction or appeal; a sucker.”

alright

you see what he’s doing here

you raise a brow and snort “can you use it in a sentence?”  

namjoon claps the dictionary shut before sliding it into the shelf

he leans against the cart and crosses his arms before reaching up to stroke his chin in mock thought

“ah! i’ve got it.” he smiles sweetly at you “y/n is a pushover when it comes to taehyung, and she’ll do anything for him with a snap of his fingers-“

“alRight alright i get it-“

“synonyms for pushover include but are not limited to the following: doormat, weakling, wimp-“

“fine! fine, i’m a little bit of a pushover. it’s not that bad!”  

namjoon turns around and starts wheeling his cart down to the next shelf “a little bit of a pushover? oh, please. what are you doing after you help me out here?”

“going grocery shopping.”

“uh-huh. and what’s on the top of your grocery list? check the list on your phone.”

“i don’t see how this is going to help prove your theory that i’m a pushover-“

“just do it.”

you pull your phone out of your pocket and open your notes app before tapping on the grocery list

the first thing you typed was-

“…’peanut butter cups for taehyung’.” you mutter lowly and scratch the back of your neck

oof

“yep. not honey-cinnamon yogurt, not bagels, not cinnamon toast crunch - peanut butter cups for taehyung. i said it before, and i’ll say it again - you, my friend, are one bIG pushover.”

“pushover. i am not a pushover.” you mutter to yourself as the elevator starts taking you up to your floor

you hug the bag of groceries to your chest tighter to keep it from slipping

“i’m just being a nice person! just because i do things for him whenever he asks me to do things doesn’t mean i’m a pushover. if anything, i’m a… i’m a pullunder! i’m a biG OL pullunder!!!”

ding

you step out of the elevator and make your way down the hallway to the apartment

whatever

you’re not a pushover no matter what namjoon says!!

even though the first thing you looked for was taehyung’s peanut butter cups the moment you stepped into the grocery store does noT mean that you are a pushover  

“hey they didn’t have the peanut butter cups that you like so much but i got these- oH GOD SORRY” you squeak and slam the front door and immediately feel a chunk of your soul leave your body

because you fully just walked in on tae really REALLy getting it on with someone on the couch

how does this keep haPPENING

why does he have to have so much sex!!!!!!!

you fluffed the pillows so nicely this morning

you’re not particularly sure what to do now

are you allowed to go in

are you supposed to wait out here until they’re done

maybe you can go down to the lobby and just wait there

you should probably send tae a text and tell him to just let you know when he’s done

oR maybe you should go in there and tell them to go to the beDroom and finish up because you were really wanting to vacuum the living room today

you jump in surprise when the door swings open violently to reveal a very frustrated looking tae along with a very half-naked tae

he has your throw blanket wrapped loosely around his waist and your cheeks immediately flush

he’s an asshole but it would be inhumane of you to noT check out the faint outline of his six pack

“ever heard of knocking?!” he snarls at you and anY physical attraction to him at this moment immediately fizzles away

you gawk at him

“knock- i live here-!”

you’re about to pick up the grocery bag and shoVe past him to get into the apartment when suddenly he steps aside to let his guest out

“call me later?” she gets up on her tip-toes to give tae a kiss on the cheek and he hums in response

why.., does she look so familiar

your brows knit together as you diG through your brain

omg

what the

you immediately pale when it hits you

rose???????? sweet little rose??? from your history class????? the one with the colour-coded notes and the glittery pens????? sweet little rose from your history class the one with the colour-coded notes and the glittery pens bent over the arm of the couch while tae dRILLS-

“bye y/n! see you monday” rose smiles sweetly at you and muster a smile before stepping aside so that she can make her way to the elevators

you wait for the faint ding of the lifts before you open your mouth to speak but tae beats you to the chase

“i was going to get at least three more orgasms out of her but someone had to come home and ruin the fun” taehyung sighs as he turns to head back in the apartment

“well i’m sorry i live here” you grumble and bend down to pick up the groceries “and three orgasms sounds positively draining”

“of course you would say that, you prude” taehyung tosses the pillows back on the couch

you huff and resist the urge to drop the groceries just so you can kick his ass

“you wanna help me put the groceries in the fridge?” you grunt and kick the door shut behind you

“nah, you can handle it”

“..,.oh, okay! uh, as i was saying, i didn’t find the peanut butter cups that you like so much but i did find these-”

“leave them in my room. i’m gonna take a shower!” tae chirps and slams his bathroom door shut

he opens it up again and pokes his head through “by the way - i’m having a couple people over tonight so it’d be suuuuPer cool if you could like.,.., not be here when that happens.”

“what about if i just stay in my room-“

“thanks, roomie!”

slam

you let out a breath as you stare at the bathroom door before shaking your head disappointedly

how did you get stuck with a prick like that

what did you do in your past life to deserve this?????

you turn to inspect the dishevelled state of the couch

you are going to have to disinfect the entire couch

maybe burn it

maybe just buy a new couch???

you honestly don’t even know how one person can have so much sex with so many different people

you’re all for having a healthy sex life and you fully support someone having multiple sex partners if you’re that kind of person but this is ridiculous

you can’t help but wonder if tae’s had sex on every surface in the apartment

…that explains the handprints on the balcony doors  

“i hate him! he’s driving me crazy and i have to live with him for the next year.” you groan quietly and pinch the bridge of your nose

“so just drive hiM crazy right back”

“how am i supposed to do that?”

“what does he hate the most?”

you purse your lips in thought and make a face

“…not getting laid every weekend?”

namjoon pauses and gives a little shrug

“touché - but, no. he hates you the most. at least, it seems like he hates you the most.”

“gee, thanks-“

“i’m serious! from what i’ve heard - and what i’ve seen - you guys boTh despise each other, so just hang around him 24/7 and you’ll drive hiM equally as crazy!”

“aren’t you the one telling me not to fight fire with fire whenever i get into sticky situations?”

“this is a special situation.” namjoon clears his throat and adjusts his glasses “didn’t you say he was throwing a party?”

“he’s not throwing a party, he’s just hanging out with his friends and they’re all chilling at the apartment. that’s why i’m hanging out with you at the library instead of being in the comfort of my own apartment.” you snort

“oh my god, you dumbass. ‘having a few people over’ almost always translates to ‘i’m throwing a party’. even i know that!” namjoon scowls and reaches over to flick your forehead

you scowl and reach up to rub at the sore spot “taehyung wouldn’t throw a party without consulting me about it first” you huff stubbornly and lean back against the wheely chair

“wow. the midterm exams really made your brain cells disintegrate, didn’t they? you don’t think there’s an inkling of a chance that as you’re sitting here with me, kim taehyung isn’t taking advantage of the fact that he has a very spacey apartment all to himself?”

“you know what, namjoon? i really don’t think so. i think you’re just making an assumption based off perceptions of-“

“there might be people bumping uglies on your bed right now.”  

you immediately pale

“…yeah, so i’ll see you later!” you squeak and bend down to grab your bag

“yep, that’s what i thought.” namjoon snorts and watches as you make a mad dash out of the doors

taehyung is typically a very carefree guy when it comes to throwing parties

he kind of just goes with the flow and doesn’t let anyone harsh his mellow

he doesn’t care if people have sex in his room as long as they keep it clean and fasT and they don’t do it on his bed

he doesn’t care if the cops come and tell him to keep the noise levels down because he knows he has the ability to charm his way out of a charge

but one thing that he definitely cares about?

there’s no way in hell he’s going to let you ruin his party

so imagine his surprise when he walks out from the kitchen to see you asking people to ‘please use the coasters that i’ve provided for you!’

“what the hell are you doing here???” taehyung hisses and grabs you by the arm before pulling you out of the apartment and into the hallway

“what does it look like i’m doing? i’m joining the party!” you grin before pointing to the door “it seems like everyone’s having fun in there!! also, it looks like there are at least twenty people in our apartment and i only have enough juice boxes in the fridge for like six people, which is unfortunate. anyways-“ you’re about to step into the apartment but taehyung reaches out and wraps his fingers around your wrist to hold you back

“you have to leave. i thought you were hanging out with..,,. what’s his name.,., four-eyes tonight?”

“who? namjoon?”

“yeah, four-eyes.”

“namjoon was busy tonight and i didn’t have any work to do so i figured i’d stop by at the obvious party that’s happening in my apartment. what happened to ‘having a couple of friends over’?”

“our apartment.” taehyung corrects you and pulls you back again when you make a move to walk in again

“debatable statement.”

“look, just go and hang out with your friends, alright?” he exasperates “come back in a couple of hours.”

“no!” you frown and let out a huff

“get ouT of here!” he points towards the elevators

“no!!! do you not want me here? is that it??”

taehyung clamps his mouth shut before pursing his lips

you immediately gawk at him

why doesn’t he want you at his party??? you’re not thAt lame

you’re super fun at parties!!!

sure your dance moves aren’t that impressive but you can get jiggy widdit once you get a couple drinks in your system

“why not!!! that’s totally unfair!!!”

you’re aware that you’re acting like a petulant child right now but it’s not fAIR that taehyung doesn’t want you at his party with his friends

you don’t care if he’s ashamed of you even though that’s what it feels like and you can’t help but feel sliGhtly offended

you just want to make sure nobody breaks anything or sets anything on fire

anD you want to make sure that, as namjoon so delicately put it, nobody’s bumping uglies on your bed  

“fine!” taehyung grumbles and gestures towards the door

it seems like you’re not going to take no for an answer so he’ll just have to deal with you staying at the party “you wanna hang out at my party? be my guest. but don’t come running to me like a scared little deer when you realise that you don’t fit in when it comes to these social situations.”

“oh, please.” you snort and push the door open

almost immediately you feel the bass from the music pumping through your veins “i’m going to fit right in with your gang of- hEY feET oFF the coffee table-!“

taehyung lets out a breath and sends out a quick prayer hoPing you won’t be the cause of the death of his party and his social life in general

so

you’ve been to a couple of house parties before with namjoon and hobi and jin

usually you just hang out in the corner of the room with some unidentifiable drink in your hand while you scroll through your phone while hobi and jin are debating over something dumb like ‘do pigeons truly have feelings?’

this is a brand new situation for you

you’ve never been alone at a party

you’re almost always glued to namjoon’s side and you just have to give him a tug on the wrist to let him know you’re ready to get the heCk out of here

and as much as you want to leave you can’T because you made a big deal out of taehyung not wanting you at the party so if you leave now it’s just not going to look good for you

and you don’t know why but it feels like the number of people have increased tenfold because it feels like you’re in a can of sardines right now

of course

you want to prove to taehyung that you can be super cool so you’ve tried to be a little more lax with everyone

but that hasn’t stopped you from scolding somebody who was very happily helping them-self to the peanut butter chocolate ice cream in the freezer

also

you don’t know how you slipped into a party straight out of those cheesy high school movies but here u are

playing seven minutes in heaven

to say the least

you’re.,,. uncomfortable

you didn’t even play this game in high school for crying out loud

also it’s not the 70s anymore why would anyone still be interested in playing seven minutes in heaven

you inspect your nails uninterestedly as taehyung digs his hand through the bowl of names

he had everyone write their names down and put them in the bowl and he foRced you to come play because when he found you you were lecturing somebody on the consequences of mixing alcohol and weed (“do you know how quickly you can become dehydrated with this combination???”)

taehyung feels a sense of relief when he pulls out the slip of paper with your name scribbled down on it

thank god

if he can’t get rid of you for the whole night at least he can get rid of you for seven minutes

“y/n! you’re up.” he smiles brightly when he sees the sheer look of panic wash over your face

good >:-)

taehyung falters when he unfolds the next slip of paper to see that it’s,.,.,. his name that’s scribbled on it

ew!!!!

he doesn’t want to play seven minutes in heaven with u

no offence

“hey, look at that! jungkook, you’re y/n’s partner!” taehyung cheers and shoves the slip of paper back into the bowl

jungkook nods before getting up off the ground and you immediately curse to yourself

it’s not that you don’t want to be paired up with jungkook

it’s just that he’s so intimidatingly preTTy and you get very nervous around pretty people

first impressions are important and you get the feeling that you’re going to find a way to make a fool out of yourself as per usuAL

you don’t know the guy at all

you’ve seen him a couple times around campus throwing a frisbee around with his pals

one time you saw him in line at starbucks but other than that

absolutely nothing

of course you don’t have any time to panic and ask if it’s too late to back out because the next thing you know the two of you get ushered towards the front door before getting shoved riGht into the closet

it looks like taehyung cleaned out the closet specifically for this game

you’ll have to ask him later where he shoved everything

you clear your throat and look up at the flickering light in the closet before looking over at jungkook who is aLso avoiding your gaze

“i’m y/n, by the way.”

wait

taehyung already told him that

oof

this is already going downhill and it’s barely been ten seconds

“i’m jungkook.” he smiles politely and sticks his hand out awkwardly for you to shake

it’s awfully cozy in here

he’s about the length of your elbow to the tip of your middle finger away from you which seemS like an appropriate distance away but when ur shoved into a tiny closet it’s very, very close

“you’re taehyung’s roommate, right?”

“yep! and you’re taehyung’s… friend?”

“eh, i guess so. we’re just part of the same fraternity but i don’t actually know him too well.” jungkook shrugs “we lived together last year but i kinda kept to myself.”

“oh yeah! i remember him mentioning something about living with like four other guys…”

“it gets messy” he laughs lightly “do you get along with him?”

“well, we have our good days, i suppose. he uses my shampoo-“

“no way, he used to use my shampoo too!!!!”

you immediately snort and roll your eyes playfully “i just don’t get why he can’t go out and get his own damn bottle!”

“exactly!!!!!” jungkook gasps in exciTement because he’s finally being given a chance to rant about taehyung

he accidentally raMs his elbow into the wall and lets out a groan before crumpling over

oh oUCH

“are you okay????” you immediately burst into giggles and reach over to give the top of his head a gentle pat

“whyYyYY are you laughing at me??” he whines and rubs at his sore elbow

it’s weird

you thought jungkook was just a carbon copy of taehyung

and for the first time ever

you’re pretty happy that you were mistaken

seven minutes goes by fAr too quickly for your liking because the next thing you know taehyung’s banging on the closet door and telling you guys to ‘get your asses out here’

“i’m sorry about... you know, not actually following the rules of seven minutes in heaven” you smile sheepishly and scratch the back of your neck

“technically, the players get to spent seven minutes doing whatever they want with each other and i just wanted to get to know you a little better, so i think we played the game right.” jungkook teases lightly

he reaches out for the doorknob but pauses and turns to look at you again “by the way, i… would you maybe want to hang out sometime? grab some coffee or something?”

your brows raise in surprise

oh

your cheeks warm immediately and you let out a soft chuckle “i, uh, yeah! i would love to grab some coffee with you sometime. maybe after we get out of this closet i can give you my number?”

jungkook beams at you and nods happily “yeah, that’d be-“

all of a sudden the closet door swings open and you instinctively take a step away from jungkook when you see taehyung standing there looking less than happy

“the game is called seven minutes in heaven, not teN minutes in heaven.” he steps aside to let the two of you out and you can’t help but roll your eyes

for someone who accused you of being a buzzkill muLtiple times he’s certainly doing a good job at being one right now

taehyung can’t help but narrow his eyes a little when he notices you and jungkook exchanging shy glances as you guys sit back down in the circle

...hm

“i’m baaaack!” your keys jingle as you shove them back into your backpack

you’re genuinely surprised that you didn’t walk in on tae fucking the lights out of someone on the couch

you were expecting to see a pair of someone’s boobs or a flash of his dick but it’s a pleasant feeling to be able to walk into your own apartment and not want to completely bleach your eyeballs

“you would not believe how packed the bus was because it’s tuesday and you wouldn’t think that the bus would be super jammed on a tuesday night but obviously-“

“i’m going to need you to shut up before i throw my books at you” taehyung raises his pencil in your direction but keeps his eyes glued on his laptop

he’s sitting crosslegged on the ground and he’s surrounded by loose papers and open books

his laptop is on the coffee table and it looks like he had a whole bag of m&ms for dinner which cannOT be good for you

he has the tv turned on but the volume’s really low

“wow, alright mr. grumpy…” you raise your hands in defence before bending down to untie your laces “what are you doing?”

“none of your business.” taehyung mutters in response and lets out a huff of frustration

side note

you’ve never seen him wear these rectangular framed glasses before

his hair is frizzy and slightly damp from a shower most likely

he’s in a white and blue stripey pyjama set

you’ve never seen him look so.,,.., dare you say it,.,,.. so boyfriend material-y before

so warm n snuggly n cozy

it really sucks

the fact that he looks like that and then once he opens his mouth all the attraction just fadEs away in a millisecond

god really has it out for you doesn’t He

“fine, sorry i asked…” you can’t help but feel a little dejected every time taehyung shuts you down like that

you’re just being a nice person!!

taehyung falters and pokes his tongue into his cheek when he glances at you and sees you hanging your jacket up on the coat rack quietly

ur just minding your own business

,.,.ok he feels a little bad for being rude to u all the time

he doesn’t know why he’s so mean to you

you guys have been roommates for a couple of months already and every time he’s mean to you you never fight back

in fact you usually just flash him a smile and then wander off and leave him alone

“i’m just…” taehyung sighs and leans back against the bottom of the couch “i’m taking this dumb art history class and i have a presentation in a couple of days that’s worth 25% of my final grade that i haven’t worked on yet.”

you narrow your eyes at him “that… i can’t feel bad for you because you did that to yourself. you should’ve started earlier!”

jesuS

okay now he knows why he’s so mean to you all the time

it’s because you’re a bratty little know-it-all

taehyung shoots a glare in your direction and you shrug

well it’s truE

“would it kill you to stop being such a smartass all the time? you always think that you’re right and that everyone else is wrong-”

“because most of the time i am right and everyone else is wrong.”

“jesus- you know what, whatever. just leave me alone, y/l/n.” taehyung grumbles and brings his attention back to his laptop

“what are you doing?” taehyung furrows his brows in confusion when you suddenly plop yourself down across from him and pull your laptop out of your backpack

“i’m going to help you, that’s what i’m doing.”

“do you even know anything about mesopotamian art?”

“nope” you pop the ‘p’ before raising a brow “but i’m going to research the heCk out of it and we’re going to make a bombass presentation and you, good sir, are going to ace it.”

“i don’t get it. why are you helping me?” taehyung narrows his eyes at you and you give him a warm smile in response

“because this is me being nice. don’t question it. now share your google presentation with me!”

believe it or not

you actually think that making presentations are pretty fun

you get to choose the pretty fonts and the colourful backgrounds and if you’re really wanting to spice things up you can always add in those funky transitions

of course taehyung has a certain minimalistic aesthetic to his slides so it probably wouldn’t be a good idea to infect it with your multicoloured block letters

the two of you have been working for about an hour and a half and you have to say it’s been a pretty productive hour and a half

taehyung said that his presentation has to be 10 minutes long which really isn’t thaT long if you think about it but the difficult part about it is that you have to jam as mUch relevant information as possible into it

thankfully he already did some research so you guys didn’t have to start completely from scratch

of course you chipped in and did some research on your own as well that you thought would contribute greatly to the overall quality of his presentation

but picking and choosing what to cut out and what to put in is surprisingly taking a lot more time than you thought it would

it’s been relatively silent

all that can be heard is the tv is playing softly in the background along with your guys’ fingers on tapping away at the keyboard and the occasional flip of a page or scribble of a pencil

your eyes flicker over to taehyung over the top of your laptop

he has his necklace trapped in between his teeth as his fingers fly across the keyboard

there’s a divot in between his brows and for a brief second you can’t help but think that his concentrating face is actually pretty cute

wait wat

u didn’t say that

taehyung glances up at you and you quickly look back down at your laptop screen

a soft smile twitches at the corner of his mouth

you’re cute when you’re not running your mouth and constantly telling him what to do  

you took a quick break earlier to change out of your clothes so now you’re in a pair of shorts and a comfy looking sweatshirt

also you had to pull out your reading glasses because it felt like your contacts were starting to dry out anD your eyes were starting to get fuzzy from staring at the screen for so long

and taehyung didn’t think he had a thing for girls with glasses but.,,.,. he might have a thing for girls with glasses

wait wat

he didn’t say that

you’re chewing on the back of your pen as you scroll through an article when all of a sudden your tummy lets out a little grumble

it makes sense considering the fact you haven’t eaten in like nine hours

“i’m going to order some takeout for us because a bag of m&ms does not equate a proper meal” you get up off the ground and stretch your sore limbs out before heading towards the kitchen

taehyung glances up at you briefly (your butt looks cute in those shorts) before shaking his head “nah, i’m good. you can go ahead and order-“

“orange chicken, broccoli beef and vegetable chow mein without celery and with extra bell peppers, right?” you poke your head out from the kitchen with your phone sandwiched in between your ear and your shoulder

“wha- um, yeah. how did you know-“

“great! also, could i get an extra order of egg rolls-“

huh

you know his order by heart which is funny because he happens to know that your usual order is sweet and sour pork, honey-walnut shrimp, and fried rice with extra green onions

wait what

taehyung brows knit together in confusion

how’d he know that

what the heCk

from: jungkook - ok what about this one: if i could rearrange the alphabet i’d put ‘u’ and ‘i’ together

to: jungkook - bOo i give that one 2/10 points

from: jungkook - your standards are too high, woman!!!!!! what are u doing now?

to: jungkook - eating dinner. guess what’s on the menu?

from: jungkook - what’s on the menu

to: jungkook - me-n-u

from: jungkook - omg ur so lame u literally just stoLE my pickup line i’m giving you -2/10 points

you giggle softly as you type in your response

you and jungkook have been texting back and forth since taehyung’s party a couple of weeks ago

he’s super sweet anD super funny and he just has that boyish charm about him that makes you squeAL if you think about it for too long

all you know is that ur kinda sorta maybe wrapped around his pinky and you’ve only gone out for coffee with him once

he pulled your chair out for you!!! you guys split a slice of carrot cake!!! he even feD you a bite!!!! and after coffee you guys just wandered around campus and it was just super nice talking to him!!! he draped his jacket around your shoulders to keep you warm!!! you like him a lot and he makes your heart go boom-boom!!!

“hey - for one of your pieces of shrimp, i bet you that i can catapult one of my pieces of chicken right into your mouth.” you look up from your phone to see taehyung grinning at you

he wiggles his brows and you look down at your little dish of shrimp

you guys are taking a dinner break and you thought the entire dinner would go by with nO words being exchanged between you two but this is a good sign because taehyung initiated a conversation

you should take advantage of this!!! this is your winDow of oppoRtunity!!!!!

you set your phone down and raise a brow “you drive a hard bargain, kim.” you sit back a little and open your mouth expectantly and tae rubs his hands together excitedly  

he places a piece of chicken on the spoon and clears his throat

and…

he pokes his tongue out in concentration and flicks his wrist forward quickly

your eyes widen in excitement when it actually lands in your mouth and you make sure to chew and swallow before sticking your arms up in the air in viCtory “it worKed!!!!! i guess that means you get one of my shrimps - which i will aLso be catapulting into your mouth”

you place the overly saucy piece of shrimp on your spoon before quickly flicking it anD-

“oh shiT” you laugh when it hits tae’s forehead before plopping down onto the table

“you did that on purpose!” he groans playfully and reaches up to wipe the sauce off his forehead with a napkin

“i did not!!! i just have terrible aim!!!”

taehyung pops the shrimp into his mouth and hums happily

this is definitely a muCh better dinner than a bag of m&ms

“aw, they only gave us one fortune cookie!” you push your bottom lip out in a pout as you rummage through the plastic bag in hopes of finding another fortune cookie “it looks like we’re going to have to split this one…”

you unwrap the cookie before holding it out for tae

he grips the other side and-

snap

the fortune is stuck in taehyung’s portion of the cookie and his eyes lighT up in excitement

“it’s probably going to say something stupid like how you have to look inside yourself to find the true meaning of life” he snorts and pulls the slip of paper out

“either that or something like ‘you’re going to die in 24 hours’” you raise a brow and inspect your half of the cookie before popping it into your mouth

oW

that cut into your gums a little bit

:-(

tae unfolds it and gives it a quick read

‘☺ the love of your life is right in front of your eyes ☺’

his dark brows knit together once he reads it and his eyes slowly trail up from the slip of paper to right across from him to where you’re sitting

oh boy

“well?” you swallow your bite and reach up to wipe your mouth with the back of your hand “what does it say?”

tae doesn’t know why he’s nervous to tell you what it says

his eyes widen in panic when you reach out to take it from him and he quickly smacks your hand away

“ow!!!!” you scowl and cradle your hand “what was that for??”

“it’s my fortune!! if you read it… it won’t come true!!”

“that’s literally not how it works-“

“dinner break is over! let’s get back to work” tae tucks the fortune into his breast pocket before popping the cookie into his mouth and dusting his hands off

“fine, you weirdo.” you roll your eyes playfully as you start cleaning up the empty takeout boxes

‘the love of your life is right in front of your eyes’

he watches as you hum to yourself and tie the straps of the flimsy plastic bag together before getting up to toss it away

tae snorts quietly and shakes his head

love of my life my aSS

it’s not a big deal

fortune cookies are stupid anyways

“-and with that being said, it is clear that the geographic division of the area is reflected in the history of its cultural development from the earliest civilisations.” you mouth the words along with tae as he finishes up his presentation

you immediately start applauding after his concluding statement and tae smiles brightly

“yes!!!!! that was so good!!!” you laugh lightly when tae bows and blows kisses into the audience (aka just you)

you let out a yawn before reaching up to rub at your bleary eyes “now that we’re done with your presentation we should probably get some shut-eye.” you let out anoTher yawn as you check the time on your laptop

jeez louiSe

it’s 5:14am

the two of you have to get up at 8 and you’re definitely not looking forward to that

“goodnight, tae!” you turn to glance at tae over your shoulder as you step out of the washroom

the two of you decided to do your nighttime routine together just to save some time

you pause when you get to your bedroom and furrow your brows “or… good morning? good-might? goodnighting?”

“you’re delirious. go to bed.” tae snorts and waves you off as he turns off the bathroom light “thanks again, y/n”

“anytime, tae”

your door closes and the light flickers off

taehyung stares at your bedroom door for a couple for seconds

“you’re not so bad, y/l/n.” he mutters to himself with a smile before walking into his bedroom and closing the door “you’re not bad at all.”

oooOOh boy

you’ve never felt so drained in your entire life

you let out a yawn as you make your way to the kitchen before rubbing at your sore jaw with a scowl

that was a big yawn and you were [this] close to getting lockjaw

you hit your snooze button a couple of times this morning  

you’re exhAusted from staying up all night helping tae with his presentation but you need to get some food in your system before you head out for the day

your nose twitches when you smell,,…,. burning.,.,,. why,,.., why do you smell burning.,,..,

your heart immediately starts to race as you quicken your pace

did you leave something in the oven last night??

impossible

you didn’t usE the oven last night

maybe taehyung left something on???

jEsus of course he left something on

he’s going to set this place on fire and-

“hey, i was wondering when you were going to get up! you’re usually halfway through a bowl of cereal by this time.”

needless to say

you are nothing short of shOCKed when you see tae with a tea towel slung over his shoulder padding around the kitchen as if this was a normal thing for him

what is going on

he pulls a stool out for you and nudges you over so that you take a seat

oh god

is this what a stroke feels like?

are you.,., literally having a stroke right now?

“sorry about the burning smell. i guess the crumbs in the toaster were starting to clog up the thing so when i popped your bagel into it and turned it on all the crumbs starting getting burnt… but your bagel made it out alive!” taehyung smiles and sets your bagel down in front of you

one side is smeared with cream cheese and the other is smeared with your homemade cinnamon butter

just the way you like it

huh

“coffee?”

“what?” you blink owlishly at taehyung and he raises the coffee pot in his hand

“…coffee? one cream two sugars, right?”

“right, yeah. uh, yes please. thank you.” you smile meekly and taehyung nods before pouring some coffee into your mug

you lean over a little to glance at the sink

all the dishes are drying on the drying rack

there are no dirty dishes in the sink

the counters are spotless and polished

and you’re pretty sure you can smell some floral air freshener in here

what

is

going

ON

“here you go-“ taehyung hands you your mug before pointing to the fridge “also, i, um, packed lunch for you today-“

oH

you figured it out

you know why he’s being so nice to you

you’re a genius!!!!

“-to make up for that one time i ate it and you almost cried over it-“

“what did you break?” you interrupt taehyung and he raises a brow at your accusatory tone

“what are you talking about?”

“what… did you break? did you damage something? is that why you’re being so nice? so that later on when you tell me you like kicked a hole through your wall or something i won’t be able to get mad at you because you made breakfast for me anD packed lunch for me…”

“i didn’t break anything, y/n. calm down.” taehyung snorts and shakes his head as he takes a bite of his own bagel

he swallows his bite

“i just wanted to say thank you for helping me yesterday.” he shrugs and walks over to take a seat on the stool next to you

you swiVel around so that you can face him

taehyung does the same

since you two are sitting so close together that means his knee is sandwiched in between yours

“you wanted to thank me… that’s it?”

“mhm”

“there’s no ulterior motive?”

he purses his lips and shakes his head “not that i can think of.”

“…so you’re not going to throw some sneaky party or anything-“

“y/n, this is me trying to be nice. don’t question it.” taehyung reaches over to pinch your cheek before giving your knee a gentle pat “now, c’mon! eat up!”

tae knew that the presentation was coming up soon

but now that he’s literally about to present it he feels like time went by waY too quickly

he doesn’t know if he’s been so nervous in his entire life

he knows it’s just a 10 minute presentation but he hates, absolutely dreAds giving presentations

especially solo presentations!!! in front of like 200+ people!!!!!

goD

he needs to stress-chew on some gum

nothing like good ol strawberry flavoured gum to calm his nerves

he unzips his backpack and shoves his arm into it

his brows knit together in confusion when his fingers brush over a foreign object in his backpack

he pulls out what appears to be a little stack of flashcards held together with a ribbon

there’s a little sticky note on the top of the stack and tae flips it upside right to read it

tae: these might come in handy! good luck today - i know you can do it. - y/n ☺

oh

you made presentation flashcards for him

when did you even put these in his bag?

when did you find time to make these for him??

taehyung pulls the ribbon off and flicks through the flashcards briefly

wow

you wrote down every single one of the important points down on the cards

you really did that for him

wow

“kim taehyung?”

taehyung swallows thickly when he hears his name being called

he clears his throat after making his way to the front of the room

his lips pull up into a friendly smile and he stares into the ocean of people “today, i��m going to be talking about the history of mesopotamian art in relation to its cultural development…”

it’s weird

the one thing calming him down isn’t the strawberry gum

it’s the thought of you

so

the presentation is actually going fairly well

tae nearly dropped his flashcards at one point but thank god he didn’t because that would have been a nightmare to have to reorganise

but yes

so far so good

he’s actually about to wrap up the presentation which is giving him a great sense of relief because he’s pretty sure he’s going to have a nervous breakdown if he stands up here for any longer than 10 minutes

“-and with that being said-“ taehyung freezes when he suddenly sees you sitting all the way in the back of the lecture hall

what the heck

what are you doing here?

he haTes that he feels his heart skip a beat when you give him a little wave and a thumbs up

he clears his throat and offers the prof a sheepish smile before continuing on and tapping his spacebar to get to the final slide “-uh, it is clear that the geographic division of the area is reflected in the history of its cultural development from the earliest civilisations. thank you.”

he lets out a breath of relief when the audience breaks into scattered applause

and unsurprisingly you stand up and bounce up and down excitedly aND clap the moSt enthusiastically before giving a little ‘woohoo!!!!!’

god

you are such a dork

…he loves it

the first thing taehyung sees when he leaves the lecture hall is your smiling face

he’s about to ask you what the heCk you’re doing here but he doesn’t get a chance to because-

“hey, you! you did so well!!!!” you squeal excitedly and pull tae down for a quick congratulatory hug

his eyes widen in surprise but he finds himself hugging you back almost instinctively

he wraps an arm around your waist tightly and can’t help but wonder why his first instinct isn’T to shove you away and tell you to cut it out

“i… literally couldn’t have done it without you but- what are you even doing here? don’t you have class right now?”

“i would not miss your mesopotamian art history presentation for the world, my friend. of course i had to come and support you!” you give his arm a playful punch before checking the time on your watch “i actually have… three minutes to get to my next class so i have to go but i’ll see you at home?”

“yeah, yeah. i’ll… see you at home.”

taehyung smiles softly when he sees your backpack bouncing up and down from your frantic movements as you scurry towards the exit

that was really nice of you actually

you didn’t have to come and watch him do his presentation but you did

yeah

that was very nice of you

he blinks twice

son of a bitch

it’s not.,.. possible

taehyung stares blankly ahead before furrowing his brows and reaching up to scratch the back of his neck

there’s no way he’s harbouring feelings for you

gross!!!!!!

you’re y/n!!!!

you’re his dorKy ass roommate who he would never hang out with if it weren’t for the fact that you guys lived together

you’re y/n

you’re y/n who snorts when you laugh too hard at one of his jokes

you’re y/n whose idea of fun is watching a nature documentary about dolphins or sitting on the couch doing crossword puzzles

you’re y/n who’s always asking him if he wants a snack or one of your juice boxes or if he needs any help with his work

you’re y/n who uses a wooden spoon as a guitar as you bounce around the kitchen jamming out suPer hard while making dinner (he’s never going to let you live that one down)

you’re y/n who stayed up til 5 in the morning helping him with his presentation even thought you literally didn’t need to do that

you’re y/n and taehyung is 99.9% sure that he likes you much more than a roommate or a friend should

he swallows thickly

o god

he likes you

“…seriously?!” taehyung groans loudly and smiles sheepishly when the people around him give him weird looks

oops

and so

as seconds turn into minutes and minutes turn into hours and hours turn into days and days turn into weeks

you find that you become a lot closer to tae than you thought was possible

it turns out that when he’s not being a complete dick he’s actually a very sweet and caring guy

he always holds the door open for you when you guys come home together (his classes end earlier than yours so he just waits til you get off class so you guys can catch the bus together)

he’s always offering to make you a cup of coffee or a little fruit salad whenever you’re busy studying because he knows you get peckish when you’re working hard

not to mention

you can’t remember the last time you had to toast an extra bagel for one of his special friends

you can’t remember the last time you nagged him to take the trash out or wash the dishes or do the laundry

you can’t remember the last time he did something that irritated the heck out of you

most of the things that he does nowadays make you smile and laugh and just feel all waRm and cozy inside

see?

it just took a little bit of time but you knew that eventuaLLy you guys would get along

you truly are living your best life

taehyung doesn’t know how you managed to convince him to watch another one of your dumb nature documentaries (it miGht have something to do with the fact that he definitely has a super big crush on you) but to be honest it’s really not as boring as he thought it would be

“wait, i don’t get it.” tae shakes his head before glancing at you for a brief second “seahorses are monogamous? are there seahorse weddings?? can seahorses get married????”  

“mm, yeah” you hum absentmindedly before popping a kernel of popcorn into your mouth

“for real???”

you reach over to pat tae’s hand gently as a gentle reminder to shut the fuck up or i’ll cut u and it looks like you’re waY too wrapped up in the nature doc because you don’t pull your hand away

“seahorses mate for life, and when they travel, they hold each others’ tails…” tae’s eyes flicker down to your hand resting on top of his and he lets out a little sigh

he kind of wants to ʰᵒˡᵈ ʸᵒᵘʳ ʰᵃⁿᵈ

he turns to look at you again and feels his heart skip a beat

you’re not even doing anything but you’re still so cute

he honestly doesn’t know what he’s going to do because this is truly the first time he’s ever felt this way towards someone BUT mushy feelings are suPer duper lame so there’s that

he turns to look back at the tv

“do you think i would win in a fight against a beaver? i think i could take a beaver any day.” tae mutters through a mouthful of popcorn

he keeps his eyes glued on the screen but nudges your side with his elbow “hey, i asked you a question-“ all of a sudden you’re slumping over and your head drops onto his shoulder

he freezes almost immediately and turns slowly to look down at you

huh

you fell asleep

what time is it?

you guys have watched like four episodes of this docuseries so he can assume that it’s already pretty late

he puts the bowl of popcorn down before glancing around for his phone

he curses quietly when he sees that it’s on the coffee table but it’s just out of reach

you know when your dog or cat falls asleep on your lap

taehyung thinks that this is kind of like that

except instead of his cute dog it’s his cute roommate and he doesn’t have the heart to wake you up because you look pretty comfortable

he’ll just let you snooze for a little while longer and then he’ll wake you up so that the two of you can go to your rooms

no biggie!

he lets out a little yawn

it wouldn’t kill him to take a little snooze as well riGht

n…o….. b…i…g….g…i…e….

tae’s brows furrow in discomfort when he tries to flip over onto his other side

why,,.,. can’t he move

he sniffles and reaches up to rub at his nose before wrapping his arm back around his pillow

hm

why does his pillow feel so firm all of a sudden

tae gives his pillow a gentle squeeze

it’s like soft and firm at the same time

he peels one eye open just to check-

oh jESUS

he jolts in surprise when he realises that he’s not in his room and he’s not cuddling up to his pillow

he’s still on the couch with you and you guys are definitely snuggled up together and he was definitely groping your ass three seconds ago

his thigh is tucked in between your legs

you’re using his bicep as a pillow which explains why he couldn’t move his arm earlier

he’s sure that his heart is going to bust out of his chest because

well

hi there

u look very cute when you’re asleep

your cheeks are warm n rosy (presumably from being wrapped up in tae’s arms all night) and your hair is a little mussed up

and your face is smooshed against his bicep which is adorable

the tip of his nose bumps against yours and he feels his cheeks flush red at how close the two of you are

he’d only have to move like an inch to kiss u

you grumble something under your breath as you stir and suddenly you’re changing positions and turning around so that your back is pressed against tae’s chest

tae keeps his free arm lifted so that he doesn’t accidentally grope you again or anything lol

to his complete and uTter surprise

you reach up and grab tae’s arm before wrapping it around yourself and tae feels his heart beating a mile a minute

you’re so soft and warm and you smell so sweet and it wouldn’t hurt to just.,., doze here with you for a little while longer

taehyung can’t help but nuzzle into the back of your neck before pulling you closer and wrapping his arm tighter around you

yeah

just a little while longer

it’s about an hour later when you peel open your cruSty eyes

you let out a soft yawn and wince at the light streaming in through the blinds

huh

you must’ve fallen asleep on the couch yesterday night

also

…why does your blanket feel like an arm

you glance down and your eyes widen in surprise when you see what is inDeed an arm wrapped tightly around your waist

oh my god

you’re cuddling with taehyung

oH mYFHAJKF

“tae-“ you tap his arm and wiggle around in his grip-

what the

what is that?

there’s something hard pressing into your bum

it kind of feels like-

oH

OH MY GOD

“oh my goD tae-“ you shove his arm away before rolling off the couch with a thuMp and tae shoOts up from the couch from all the commotion

“wha- what’S happening what’s happening-“ his voice is significantly deeper and raspier considering he was sleeping very peacefully like a second ago but you can barely think about that because-

“gO take care of your thING you freAK-“

tae immediately looks down and-

oH

his face flushes bright red and he grabs a pillow to cover himself

“i can’t HELP IT oh my god you’re such a pruDE-“

to say the least

this has been a very chaotic start to the morning

“cinnamon toast crunch…” you mutter to yourself as you look over the grocery list in your hands

usually you take care of the groceries and tae just pays you back for half of them but for some reason he insisted on tagging along with you today

but you’re starting to regret your decision of letting him come with you because going grocery shopping with tae is like going grocery shopping with a five year old

“y/n, check it out! a two for one deal on m&m’s!!!!!” you look over your shoulder to see tae looking vEry excited at being in the candy aisle

you let out a sigh and shake your head before pointing to the piece of paper in your hand

“we don’t need m&m’s, it’s not on the grocery list that i meticulously curated-“

“head’s up!” you immediately duck when tae suddenly huRLS two bags of m&ms over your head and right into the cart

“tae! you could’ve hit me!!!!”

“but i didn’t”

“but you couLD have”

“…but i didn’t!” he chirps and nudges you aside a little so that the both of you can push the cart

tae’s eyes flicker down to where you’re both gripping the handlebar and he moves his hand a little closer so that his pinky is pressed right up against yours

and surprisingly enough

you don’t flinch or move your hand

tae turns his head to hide the giddy smile on his face

heehee

“you’re going to get us kicked out of the store if you keep goofing around like that, you know”

“they can’t kick us out - who else is going to buy their insanely overpriced organic vegan honey-cinnamon yogurt?” tae picks the tub of yogurt up and inspects it before putting it back down “i don’t know who else would be crazy enough to spend $18 on yogurt.”

“you’re the one who eats half a tub in a sitting so it looks like i’m not the only crazy one here.” your eyes scan over the shelves and they light up when you spot your favourite cereal calling out your name

“why can’t we get froot loops instead?” tae purses his lips as you chuck the box into the cart

“because froot loops are gross and they’re full of artificial flavours and weird preservatives-”

“cinnamon toast crunch is like a having a bowl of diabetes in the morning-“

“there’s 2.1 grams of fibre in it sO-“

“but froot loops are multicoloured!!!!!”

it’s funny

the two of you are bickering like a married couple and tae can’t help but feel some sort of odd satisfaction from that

>:-)

“tae, did you get the orange juice with pulp or without pulp??” you glance over your shoulder to see tae at the ice cream freezers

“without pulp!”

you hear the faint slam of the freezer door but you don’t think too much about it as you unzip your wallet to find your rewards card

you turn to look at him again

“and are the bagels-“

“yes, i got one bag of cinnamon-raisin and one bag of plain bagels, don’t worry-“

“here you go-“ you hand your rewards card over to the cashier with a smile and she scans it before handing it back to you

you continue to place the groceries onto the conveyer belt but you look up for a second when you notice the lady stopped scanning your things

she pauses for a moment as her eyes flicker from you to tae (who is coming back with a tub of ice cream behind his back)

you’re about to ask her if your card didn’t work or something but then-

“you two make a very cute couple.” she murmurs discreetly and your entire face immediately flames up at the comment

oh

oH

“who, me and him?“ you laugh lightly and shake your head “trust me, we’re-“ your eyes widen in surprise when taheyung’s arms suddenly snake around your waist from behind “what are you-“

“thank you very much, i think we make a cute couple too.” he presses his cheek against yours before not so subtly sliding a pint of ice cream onto the conveyer belt “but let me tell you, susan… if i was a couple years older, i think we’d make a much cuter couple.”

you resist the urge to roll your eyes because there’s no way someone would fall for a line as cheesy as that

susan immediately bursts into giggles “oh, you’re awful!”

wow

apparently you were very wrong about that

“he really is” you snort and nudge your elbow into his stomach to try and get him to release you but he only tightens his grip around you “also, put the ice cream back because we’re already way over our budget-“

“aw, c’mon, baby… won’t you buy a tub of ice cream for your darling boyfriend?” tae pouts and nudges his nose into your reddening cheek

you literally don’T know why he’s doing this and you also don’t know why you haven’t pushed him away and knocked him over the head for acting all crazy

“cut it out, you weirdo. put the ice cream back-“

“you know what? the ice cream is on me. you two are just too adorable!” susan swipes the tub over the scanner before sliding it into the bag and you and tae exchange glances

huh

he was only acting all cutesy to try to convince you to buy the ice cream but it looks like it worked on susan instead

well

either way he’s happy!!

tae pinches your side to get your attention

“you think if we make out in front of her she’ll give us the groceries for free?”

,.,..oh my god

“i’m really glad you decided to help me out with folding the laundry because-“

“check it out - i’m a fruit fly!!”

you look over to see that tae has one of your bras strapped around his head so that the cups are facing upwards and your cheeks immediately grow pink when you see him bouncing around the living room like a big ol dummy

“jesus- tae, nO” you groan and toss the shirt you’re in the middle of folding aside before holding your hand out “give it to me!!”

the two of you are standing at opposite ends of the couch and you can practically hear the cowboy showdown music in your head

“you’re going to have to rip it away from my cold… dead… bODY-“ taehyung breaks into a sprint and you immediately do the same

when he sprints past the laundry basket full of freshly dried undergarments he digs his grubbY hand into it and pulls out a-

“hey, you should wear something like this around the apartment more often.” tae gawks at the verY thin vERY lacy burgundy thong hanging around his finger “instead of those dumb fruit panties-“

“get over here so i can kiCK your ASS-“

he starts cackling when you begin to chase him around the room again only this time you’re hurling balled up socks at his head  

“and… checkmate.” taehyung knocks namjoon’s chess piece out of the way before picking it up and placing it on his side of the table

namjoon furrows his brows and tilts his head as he looks down at the chessboard

what in the world

“that- you can’t do that. your move didn’t make any sense.”

tae purses his lips and looks down at the board

“…yeah, i don’t actually know how to play chess.” taehyung chirps “i don’t even know what checkmate means”

namjoon snorts

“okay!” tae turns around and leans against the front counter when you return clutching a book to your chest “i finally found the book that i was looking for so i’m ready to go when you are!”

“i just won a game of chess against namjoon” tae points out with a bright smile and namjoon squaWks in offence

“you did noT-“

“i said checkmate so that means i won”

“that literally- get out of my library.” namjoon deadpans and points towards the door

he takes chess very seriously and he will not be riDICULED in his library!!!!!!!!

“-all i’m saying is that we didn’t have to come all the way to the library for some dumb book that you could’ve easily bought online-“

“i like holding a physical copy of a book when i’m reading!! plus, i told you you didn’t have to come with me” you nod in acknowledgement when tae holds the door open for you “why thank you, good sir”

“no problem dweeb”  

you immediately stop in your tracks when you notice the thunderclouds in the sky and the drizzling of rain

frick

you didn’t know it was going to rain today

you didn’t bring an umbrella out!!!!!

“oh, shoot… it looks like we’re just going to have to wait out the storm and then head home…” you purse your lips as you look up at the dark clouds

you stick your hand out from underneath the canopy and let out a sigh as a couple fAT droplets splatter down on your palm

tae sticks his hand out and lets out a hum “don’t be ridiculous!” he scoffs “here, you’re going to use my jacket as an umbrella-“ tae takes his jacket off and drapes it around you so that it’s covering you  

“but you’re going to get wet?” you pull it up slightly to make sure that it’s going to keep your hair from getting wet

“that’s where you’re wrong, y/l/n. you’re going to be my umbrella-“ tae squats down in front of you and you immediately let out a snort

no way

no way!!!!

“if you’re implying that you piggyback me the rest of the way home you’re crazy” you shake your head and resist the urge to kiCk his ass and knock him over “you’ll drop me!!!!”

tae looks back at you with a raised brow

“i’m not going to drop you, i promise!! come on!!! riDE ME”

you gawk and lean over to slap a hand over tae’s mouth when a couple of people exiting the library give you guys weird looks

you laugh nervously and give them a thumbs up

well

it looks like you don’t have a choice

“if you drop me, i’ll kill you.” you grumble as you hop up onto tae’s back and hold the jacket out so that the both of you are somewhat shielded

you yelp when he stands up straight and bounces you slightly to adjust you

he squeezes the underside of your thighs playfully

“not if i kill u first, nerd”

you don’t know why

but you feel like the vibe with jungkook tonight is a little different

usually when you guys hang out (you’ve hung out a couple times already but this is the first time you’ve been in such an intimate and private environment) are always wrapped up in playful banter but.,.,. tonight is just.,.,. different

it’s not a big deal but

you don’t know how else to describe it

you invited him over for dinner and a movie and just to hang out in general

and you’re in the middle of choosing another movie to watch buT you guys can’t decide on whether you should go with captain america or iron man first

“this is the hardest decision i think i’ve ever had to make in my entire life.” you frown before pursing your lips in thought

“i honestly don’t care because i’ve watched these movies like ten times each.” jungkook snorts and scoots a little closer to you as you continue to flick through the choices

you let out a little sigh of frustration

choosing a damn movie should noT be this difficult

“just choose something. anything.” jungkook says a liTtle more aggressively than intended

you turn to glance at you and he flashes you a smile and shifts closer until the side of his thigh is pressed up right against yours

hm

“i mean, i’m biased because captain america is my favourite but if you wanna watch iron man i-!” jungkook hooks a finger under your chin and turns your head before pressing his lips against yours to shut you up and you know what

it woRks

you didn’t think this was going to happen but you’re not complaining

you pull away quickly and gesture to the tv “w-we haven’t chosen a-“

“shush” jungkook pulls you back down and you twitch when you feel his hands slide down your back

your eyes flutter shut and your grip loosens around the remote and jungkook pulls it from your hand before tossing it onto the sofa chair blindly

you’re so lost in jungkook that you don’t even hear the front door opening

“oh, so you get to do it on the couch but i don’t?”

you pull away agAin and jungkook lets out a little huff before resting his head back against the couch

“tae! i didn’t… think you would be home so-“

“no way.” taehyung gawks when he sees who you’re straddling “jeon jungkook??? seriously????” he snorts as he kicks his shoes off “i mean, i knew you had low standards, but i didn’t think they were this low.”

“kim, nice to see you too.” jungkook mutters sarcastically and clenches his jaw

tae rolls his eyes almost immediately

“looks like someone still doesn’t know how to take a damn joke”

you clear your throat

it seems like there’s a little bit of tension in the air

maybe it’s time to break that tension with a jokE

“so like do you guys only address other people by their surnames or-“

“how do you two know each other anyways?” tae keeps his glare on jungkook

you let out a sigh and crawl off of jungkook because it lookS like you’re not going to be getting any more alone time with him anytime soon

“we met at the sneaky party that you threw.” you prop your elbow up on the top of the couch and lean against your fist before tucking one of your legs under the other “remember? you made us play seven minutes in heaven and-“

god damnit

tae wants to punch himself in the face

“oh, rigghhhttt.”

he should’ve gone in there with you instead of setting you up with jungkook

so

this is his owN fault

if he hadn’t invited jungkook in the first place then you wouldn’t have met him and you wouldn’t be making out with him in the middle of your guys’ living room

or maybe this is your fault!!!

if yOU didn’t come home that night then you wouldn’t have met him and you wouldn’t be making out with him in the middle of your guys’ living room

“well, don’t worry about me! you guys keep doing your thing.” taehyung smiles sweetly before disappearing towards the bedrooms

you wait to hear the faint click of his door closing aaaanndd-

click

“now… where were we?” jungkook tugs on your wrist and you smile shyly before moving back to your original position

as nice as it is making out with jungkook on your couch you can’t help but think about what taehyung has up his sleeve

because there was something about his smile that didn’t sit right with-

vrROOOOOOOOOOOO

“oh, jesus-“ you pull away from jungkook in surprise when taehyung suddenly pops out from the hallway with the vacuum cleaner

“don’t mind me! y/n sheds a LOT so i’m just cleaning up all of her hair!!” taehyung rolls the vacuum underneath jungkook’s legs before whistling a happy tune to himself “just wanna make this experience as comfortable as possible for you two lovebirds!”

“do you have to do this now???” jungkook groans and taehyung pauses before reaching down to turn the vacuum off

“you’re right! i won’t do this now-“

“-god, thank you-“

“i’ll get to it after you leave! what are we watching, folks??” jungkook purses his lips in frustration when taehyung wiggles his way in between you and him

he retracts his arm down from the couch slowly

“you know what, i should probably leave…” jungkook glances over at you with a small smile “maybe i can come back when… you know.”

“yeah, that’s probably for the best…” you laugh uneasily

this is only slighTly embarrassing

“aw, come on! the more the merrier!” tae pushes his bottom lip out in a childish pout “how could you say no to iron man??”

“i have some things to do anyway. it was good seeing you, kim.” jungkook pats his knee before getting up off the couch

“mm… i can’t say the same.” tae shrugs and brings his attention back to the screen

you can’t help but roll your eyes at how immature he’s being and you get up from the couch as well “i’ll walk you to the door, jungkook-“

“he’s perfectly capable of walking to the door by himself- oW” tae hisses when you reach down and pinch his ear to shut him up

“so… i’ll see you around?” jungkook smiles shyly and scratches the back of his neck after he gets his shoes on

“mhm!” you nod and reach over to pinch a piece of fluff off his shirt before getting up on your tippy toes to give him a kiss on the cheek “i’ll text ya”

taehyung turns his head and watches you and jungkook talking to each other by the front door

he takes his bottom lip in between his teeth and chews on it anxiously

this sucks

do you like jungkook?

obviouSly you do because you were sucking his face off when he walked in here

gRGRGs

this sucks >:-(

whatever

you’re super lame anyway so it’s not a huge loss

he can just.,.,,. he can just find someone else

tae looks away quickly when he sees you giving jungkook a kiss on the cheek

that’s not fair

how come u won’t kiss him on the cheek

he deserves cheek kisses as muCh as jungkook

maybe he was dumb to think that he had a chance with you

either that or he realised faR too late that he has feelings for you

:-(

the loved-up smile immediately drops from your face the moment jungkook disappears into the elevators and you shut the front door

“i think i’m going to take a little snooze. all that vacuuming tuckered me ouT” taehyung lets out a yawn and gets up off the couch

your body seems like it’s on autopilot mode as you practically stoRm down the hallway and follow him to his room

he’s craZy if he thinks you’re going to let him get away with doing what he just did

“by the way, since i did the vacuuming today, it’s only fair that you do it for the next month - don’t you think so?”

“what the hell was that?” you snAp as you cross your arms “you totally sabotaged my date with jungkook!”

taehyung plops down on his bed and leans back against the headboard before pulling his phone out “i have no idea what you’re talking about”

“we were having a really nice time together-“

“yeah, it sure looked like you were enjoying yourself considering you were practically sucking his face off-“

“and you just swoOp in and start vacuuming???? and-“

“you know what, y/l/n? take it up with the complaint department of kim taehyung.”

you pause

what the hell is he talking about

“wh- what are you talking about?”

“you heard me. call the complaint department.” taehyung raises his phone and wiggles it

fine

you’ll play along with whatever stupid game this is

you dial tae’s number and bring your phone up to your ear all while maintaining eye contact with tae who looks vEry smug at the moment

ring

taehyung’s phone buzzes in his hand

ring

he clears his throat and hits the answer button before bringing it up to his ear

ring

“hello! this is kim taehyung headquarters, you’re speaking to secretary kim taehyung. how may i be of service today?” he greets brightly and flashes you a bright smile and a thumbs up

you have literally never felt so ridiculous in your entire life  

you let out a quiet breath to calm yourself down

just play along!!! just play aloNG  

“i… i would like to file a complaint about kim taehyung tO the kim taehyung complaint department!”

“great, can i get a name?”

“y/n y/l/n.” you can’t believe you’re taking this phone call seriously

taehyung leans back against his headboard and crosses one ankle over the other

“alright, miss y/l/n. i’ll connect you to the kim taehyung complaint department right now. i’m going to put you on hold now, if that’s okay?”

“taehyung, you’re wasting my TIME-“

taehyung literally puts you on hoLD and tosses his phone aside and you scoff when your phone starts playing an overly-cheerful piano version of twinkle twinkle little star  

you glance over at tae

he pokes his tongue into his cheek uninterestedly as he inspects his nails  

…

“…taehyung, i swear to god-“  

“shush!“ taehyung holds a finger out to shut you up “you don’t want to miss your call, do you?”

“jesus christ.” you mutter and pinch the bridge of your nose

this is ridiculous

taehyung picks his phone back up

he clears his throat

“hello! this is the kim taehyung complaint department of kim taehyung headquarters. you’re speaking to head manager kim taehyung. how may i be of service today?”

you roll your eyes before shaking your head

“okAy now that you’re finally giving me a chance to talk about-“

“oOh, sorry!” taehyung winces “my lunch break just started. you know how it is.” he pushes his bottom lip out in a mocking pout before trailing his pointer finger down from his eye to his cheek “try calling again in an hour! byeeeeee.” taehyung hangs uP on you before tossing his phone aside

UH

whAT-

WHAKJFHS

he looks over at you and raises a brow “…any success with the hotline?”

oOH

oHHDKSJHKSJD

he drives you CRAZY

you don’t know what happened!!!

he’s been so sweet to you for like a month and now it’s like the taehyung you met five months ago

and now he’s calling you y/l/n again and he’s making snide comments and being ruDe and wow

you should’ve known it wasn’t going to last forever

bAck to normal

this sucks

you honest to god don’t know what happened

whatever

if he’s going to be a stubborn prick there’s nothing you can do about it

taehyung lets out a breath once you close his door

and he can’t help but think:

maybe this is a wake up call

you hanging with jungkook and all

maYbe this is god’s way of telling him to make a move otherwise he’s going to regret it

he’s liked you for nearly a month and he literally hasn’t done anything about it so mAYbe this was a swift kick to his ass telling him to man up and dO something

“yeah.” taehyung whispers to himself

yeah

…he’s going to tell you that he likes you!!!!

and he’s going to do it as soon as possible

so

uh

it’s been about a week and a bit since your faiLure of a date with jungkook

he hasn’t made a move to reach out to you which is kind of odd

you diD leave him a text message but he never got back to you and you didn’t want to be that person who double-texted and just radiated desperation  so you didn’t do anything else

maybe he was just weirded out by tae or something

speaking of tae

you pull your phone out of your pocket when you feel it buzzing and you bring it up to your ear

“hello?”

“where do we keep all those takeout menus?” you hear some clattering on the other end of the line and you safely assume that tae’s going through all the drawers

“y/n!”

“in the-“

“oh, never mind! i found them. okay, see you soon… raccoon!”

you snort and roll your eyes

taehyung noticed that you and namjoon always said see you later alligator and in a while crocodile to each other instead of saying goodbye and he wanted to be a part of it too buT namjoon was like if you still the alligator thing from me i will give you a million paper cuts

so he came up with an alternative and that was see you soon..,.,. raccoon

it’s cute that he tried

“y/n!!”

“toodle-loo kangaroO” you hum before hanging up and slipping your phone back into your pocket

“y/n!” you turn to glance over your shoulder and you feel your heart beginning to race almost immEdiately when you see jungkook jogging towards you

oh god

what are you wearing today

you look down

jeans and… is this tae’s sweatshirt?????

oops

he must’ve mixed your guys’ laundry up agAin

“hey!” you smile brightly and wipe your sweaTy palms down on your jeans

you don’t know why you’re so nervous all of a sudden

you’ve literally had his tongue in your mouth before so

okay ew

“hey, i was hoping to bump into you! i’m sorry i haven’t texted you all week, i’ve been like, super busy.”

you’re far too infatuated with jungkook’s pretty brown eyes to notice that he smirks and nods in acknowledgement at another girl behind you

“oh! um, no, don’t worry about it.” you laugh nervously “look, i’m really sorry about what happened the last time we hung out… i didn’t think tae would be so… y’know…” you trail off awkwardly and scratch the back of your neck

“it’s totally fine, don’t worry about it!” jungkook shakes his head and smiles brightly at you “that’s actually why i wanted to talk to you… would you maybe be interested in a makeup date? i don’t want to seem too eager but… are you free tonight? maybe we can pick up from where we left off…?” he hums, reaching over to tuck a strand of hair behind your ear

you flush almost immediately

he wants to hang out toniGht

you need at least two to three business days to prepare when you make plans with someone

oH but it’s jungkook.,,.,.

“uh, yeah! yes, i’m super free tonight. i mean, not like, not that like i didn’t have plans or anything but-”

“great! i’ll come and pick you up at your place around… 7 o’clock?”

well

it looks like you officially have plans tonight

here’s the thing

taehyung has decided that tonight is the night

tonight is the night where he’s going to tell you that he might have a teensy crush on you and he’s just hoping it’ll work out

he’s never really had to.,,. confess to someone before considering he’s usually the one being confessed to

so this is a whole new game for him

he’s sure it’ll be fine though!!

he made sure to vacuum and dust the apartment and just make everything a lot neater before you got back

he timed it perfectly so that the pizza would get here ten minutes before you got home so that when you guys dig in you won’t burn the roof of your mouths with hoT cheese

he even picked up a bouquet of roses for you just because he felt like that would be something you’d like!!

and now he’s busy lighting candles because he wants everything to be perfect for you

tae perks up when he hears the front door slam shut and the faint jingling of your keys

you’re home!!!!!!

hehe

he nearly trips over himself as he rushes out from the kitchen

he glances over his shoulder at his romantic setup just to double check that he didn’t accidentally light anything on fire lol

“hey!” he greets a liTTle too enthusiastically before clearing his throat

okAy

keep it casual

“i mean… hey.” his voice deepens a little bit but his boxy grin returns to his face when you look over at him “there’s an extra large pizza sitting on the table with our names on it anD i even ordered that garlic aioli you like so much-“

“did we plan something tonight?” you furrow your brows in confusion and wrack through your brain to see if you remember making dinner plans with tae or not

huh

usually you remember these types of things

taehyung falters before pointing at the tv over his shoulder “uh, well, no, we didn’t plan anything but i thought that maybe we could have some dinner and maybe watch another one of those nature documentaries again!”

if he’s lucky maybe you’ll fall asleep midway through the documentary which will result in an accidental-but-totally-on-purpose snuggle on the couch again

>:-)

you look over at the tv and notice that he’s already turned netflix on

your favourite candle is burning away on the coffee table

there’s a bowl of warm, buttery popcorn (your favourite) mixed with mini peanut butter cups (his favourite)

aw

that’s awfully nice of tae

you feel a twingE of guilt knowing that you’re about to shut him down because you already have plans

but you’re sure he’ll understand

“that’s super nice of you and all but i actually already have plans…” you smile sheepishly and scratch your temple

the bright smile starts to fade from tae’s face and he purses his lips slightly “oh…”

that’s kind of a bummer

he really wanted to spend the night with you

tonight was supposed to be the night after all

“maybe another time! you can invite some of your pals over and hang with them! no parties, though. i’m serious.” you tease and press your hand against tae’s chest to lean against him as you take your shoes off

“right, yeah…” tae reaches up to place his hand over yours and his heart is beating so hard he’s sure you can feel it “are you… going out with namjoon or something?”

“nope - i’m going out with jungkook!”

wait

ur what

taehyung swallows thickly

what do u mean ur going out with jungkook

“considering the fact that you kinda ruined the last date i had with him - he asked me today if i wanted to go out for dinner tonight and i said yes!” you squeal excitedly and give his chest a pat before brushing past him to go to your bedroom

“why… why would you say yes?” tae blurts out

“why wouldn’t i say yes?” you raise a brow at tae before heading over to your closet and starting to rifle through your options “it was kind of a last minute thing so i don’t have a lot of time to get ready but luckily i know jusT what to wear…”

“but like… i ordered a pizza for us?” taehyung doesn’t know why he’s so nervous all of a sudden

“uh-huh - could you turn around for a second? i need to change.”

he wants to ask you to cancel ur plans and hang out with him

he ordered a pizZA for the two of you to share!!!!

he just doesn’t like that you’re hanging out with jungkook because he knoWs there’s a mutual attraction between the two of you and he doesn’t liKE THAT

not to mention

jungkook is a one night stand kind of guy and he’s probably going to bail on you after getting into your pants

the only reason why he’s still spending time with you is because you haven’t had sex with him yet and jungkook isn’t a quitter

taehyung only knows all of this because he lived with the guy last year for crying out loud

jeon jungkook is a young man of many talents and one of them is playing the ‘i’m not like other guys :-)’ card very, veRy well

“tae? could you help me?” taehyung is snapped out of his thoughts by your soft voice and he-

oh wow

god you’re pretty

you’re wearing a baby blue mini dress patterned with little daisies

you reach up to tug at one of the sleeves before turning around and gesturing to the zipper in the back

“oh, uh, yeah.” he steps towards you and you pull your hair aside

taehyung clears his throat as he pulls your zipper up slowly

his eyes flicker up to yours in the mirror

“you look… good. you look really pretty.”

the shyest of smiles tug at the corner of your mouth and you mutter a little ‘thank u’

tae can’t help but wish that you were dressing up for a date with him instead of a date with someone else

“i’ll see you later, tae!”

taehyung lets out a breath as he hears the door slam shut

looks like it’s just dinner for one tonight

he leans over and blows out the candle

you rub your hands together and shiver as you step out of the building

you hop down the stairs happily

it’s definitely a little chilly tonight but you’re not going to let that dampen the mooD

maybe you should’ve brought a cardigan with you

you still have time to go up and get it

but then again, jungkook’ll probably be here soon so you’ll be in the warmth of his heated car in no time

you just have to wait for a little bit!

you sit down on the steps and pick a piece of lint off your dress

and so, you wait

and you wait

and you wait

and you wait and you wait and you wait until you’ve been sitting on the steps for two whole hours

jungkook hasn’t texted

he hasn’t called

you’ve heard absolutely nothing from him

the only reason why you haven’t gone back up to the apartment is because you’re paranoid that if jungkook comes and you’re uP there then he’ll think that you’RE the one who bailed and you definitely don’t want that-

you nearly drop your phone when it starts buzzing in your hand and you don’t know whether to feel angry or relieved to see jungkook’s number on the screen

“hello?” you clear your throat and wrap your arms tighter around yourself

jesus it’s coLd

“y/n, i am so sorry… i completely forgot about dinner tonight… can we reschedule?”

“n-no, it’s okay, it happens to all of us!” you shake your head as you push yourself up off the stairs “i didn’t think i would be so easily forgotten considering the fact that you asked me like four hours ago but-“

you freeze when you hear the sound of someone else’s soft giggle and a faint ‘who’s that, kookie?’ in the background and you immediately pale

is he

is he seriously with someone else right now

“sorry, were you saying something? i think you got cut off.”

you poke your tongue into your cheek and let out a scoff

“…go fuck yourself, kookie.”

you hang up on him before he has the chance to respond and shove your phone back into your purse

jesus

what a jerk!!!!!

you waited two hours for him!!! and it tuRns out he was with someone else the entiRE friggin time

you feel so stupid

the entire elevator ride back up to the apartment you’re thinking of a hundred different ways to castrate jeon jungkook

you would love to just drive your fist riGHT into that absurdly-toned stomach

put some high heels on and jump all over his muscular thighs

maybe even-

“you’re back much earlier than i expected.”

you close the door behind you and double lock it

tae is sitting on the couch still watching the nature docuseries

and it looks like he finished most of the popcorn and peanut-butter cups himself

taehyung furrows his brows as he checks the time on his phone “it’s only-“

“he didn’t come. he forgot about dinner.” you force a smile on your face as you bend down to untie your shoelaces

taehyung frowns

uh oh

“…but you’ve been gone for two hours-“

“because i was waiting outside on the sidewalk-“

“well why didn’t you just come back up-“

“because he said he would pick me up outside, and i didn’t want him to think i bailed on him or anything if i wasn’t waiting for him downstairs.” your voice wavers slightly as you yank your hair down from your high ponytail

taehyung can see that you’re visibly upset and it makes hiM mad that jungkook flaked on his date with you

but at the same time it makes him mad that you said yes to going out with jungkook instead of hanging out with him!!!

he doesn’t know what to think!!!

maybe it’s because he’s eaten like 100 mini peanut butter cups and feels suPer jittery but he’s just vEry confused and frustrated about a lot of things but one thing that he knows for sure is that he likes u a lot and he’s hurt because yoU chose jungkook over him

and he knows that you’re not obligated to hang out with him anD he supposes it’s not fair of him to act so selfishly considering the fact that you don’t know about his feelings for you but stiLL

he’s allowed to wallow in a pool of self-pity for as long as he likes!!!!  

“i’m not surprised he bailed on you.” taehyung mutters to himself and turns the volume up on the tv

you immediately stop in your tracks

oh boy

if you weren’t upset a second ago you’re definitely upset now

you drop your purse to the floor before storming over and grabbing the remote from him and promptly turning the tv off

“hey, i was watching that!” taehyung snaps and reaches over to grab the remote back from you “give it back-“

“why are you such an asshole?!” you hiss and toss the remote aside “for the last couple of months, i’ve been nothing but a wonderful roommate! i cook, i clean, i buy the groceries, i make sure the bills are always paid on time so that you can enjoy your hot lava showers, i do the laundry, i even iron your stupid bandanas for you because i don’t want you walking around with crinkly ass bandanas on your head - and you have repaid me with absolutely nothing!” tears of anger sting at your eyes and you reach up to wipe them away aggressively

taehyung gets up from the couch “jesus, y/n, take it easy-“

“all you do is sit on your ass all day and whine and complain and make mean comments and push me around and leave your shiT everywhere a-and constantly bring girls home and i hate you! i absolutely, 100% hate you with every fibre of my being and i want you out of my goddamn apartment by the end of tomorrow night. i want you out!”

taehyung’s eyes widen in surprise

okay

first of all

ouch

“you don’t hate me.” taehyung shakes his head and gets up from the couch

“i do. i do hate you. like, a lot.” you mumble and cross your arms

he’s quiet for a second and he clenches his jaw  

“fine, here’s what we’re going to do.”

you furrow your brows in confusion as tae pushes the couch to the side of the room before proceeding to push the coffee table to the side as well so that the centre of the living room is bare

“what the hell are you doing??”

“you stand by the front door,” taehyung points towards the door “and i’ll stand way over there by the balcony doors. from this point, there are approximately twelve steps away from both the front door and the balcony doors, so it’s fair. every time you list one reason as to why you hate me, you take a step forward.”

you immediately scoff

“oh, please. i can list a hundred reasons as to why i hate you.“

“however!” taehyung raises a finger to shut you up “if i can defend myself against you, i can take a step forward as well. if i get to the centre of the room before you, i get to stay. if you get to the centre before i do, then i’ll leave.”

“what do you mean defend yourself?? that hardly seems fair-”

“hey, i’m giving you the chance to kick me out. don’t you want to take that chance since you obviously hate me, y/n?” he seethes and clenches his fists at his sides

“you know what? fine. i have a vEry detailed list of reasons why i hate you in my notes app and i’m glad that i finally get to share it with you” you pull your phone out and open up the document

(you made this document within the first month of him moving in but you haven’t actually opened it in a long time so it’s kinDa empty so it looks like you’re going to have to improvise)

taehyung snorts and rolls his eyes as he leans back against the balcony doors “you’re not doing a very good job at hiding your crazy, y/l/n.”

there he goes again with anoTher snarky comment

you are sO ready to win this fight and kick kim taehyung out of your apartment

you ignore his remark and clear your throat before taking one step forward “reason #1: you constantly use my shampoo. it’s my shampoo!!! i bought it with my own money aNd it’s on my side of the tub!!”

“how dare you?” taehyung scoffs “i’m helping you by using your shampoo.”

what the hell is he even talking about

“what- please, enliGhten me.” you snort “how are you helping me by using up all of my shampoo?”

“see, the thing is - you use too much conditioner. i’m a very observant person, and i’ve noticed that since you use too much conditioner every time you wash your hair, you’re always having to buy a new bottle of conditioner way, waY before you’ve finished using up the shampoo. so i’m just helping out by using up all the shampoo so that the ratio of shampoo to conditioner is always consistent! if you think about it, i’m actually helping you out.”

taehyung takes a step forward and you gawk at him before shaking your head “that is noT fair-“

“hey, i defended myself and i backed myself up with good reasons. next reason!”

“fine!” you take another step forward and look at the list on your phone again “you always, always leave your dirty dishes in the sink and you never wash them which means i end up having to take care of them for you. have you noticed i never leave any of my dirty dishes in the sink?”

“you know, you’re right about that.” taehyung lets out a sigh and crosses his arms “…however, the problem with your statement is that you don’t give me the chance to take care of my dirty dishes in the sink. i leave them there for one minute and the next thing i know, when i walk back into the kitchen, you’re already there scrubbing away at the dishes. i don’t wash my dishes because you won’t let me. you’re right! you never leave any of your dirty dishes in the sink because you always eat takeout - do you realise you’re contributing to the plastic waste pollution that is already greatly impacting our planet? do you hate the earth, y/n? is that it? you like watching nature documentaries yet you don’t seem to care about our planet…”

“i-i don’t hate the earth!!!! i love the earth!!!!” you stammer over your words at the sudden accusation of you wanting to watch the world burn

“say that to the fAT bag of plastic straws in the kitchen cabinet. i highly suggest you invest in a reusable metal straw, like me.”

shiT

okay it’s fine you still have plenty of things to complain about

“you drink juice straight out of the carton!”

“i drink the juice out of the carton because you constantly complain about me having dirty dishes. if i drink out of the carton, i won’t have to use a cup, which results in less dirty dishes. you’re welcome.”

“you consTAntly leave the toilet seat up”

“actually, you constantly leave the toilet seat down.”

“whenever you bring your special friends over you guys are always too loud aNd it always sounds like goats screeCHING”

taehyung holds a finger out and takes another step forward

oh you have goT to be kidding

“you haven’t-“

“have you ever heard me?”

you falter for a second

he hasn’t brought a girl around in a while but you remember that when he would bring them over usually you’d just hear,.,. the girl

thinking about it now you don’t know if you’ve ever heard taehyung moaning obnoxiously

“the ladies are the ones making the goat noises, not me - so you can’t blame me here because i’m not the one making the sounds.” taehyung laughs lightly and the smug smile drops from your face when he takes a step forward

oh my god

this game is impossible

you’re never going to win

you’re never going to get rid of him

taehyung totaLLy rigged the entire thing

you hate him!!!!

“i hate you.” you take a giAnt step forward

taehyung raises a brow

huH

so that’s how you’re going to play it

alright

“i hate you more.” he does the same

“i hate you most!” you take another step forward

“i hate you mostest!”

“i hate you… x100!!!!”

“i hate you infinity!!!”

and now

you’re both standing toe to toe nose to nose in the middle of the living room and taehyung raises a brow at you as if daring you to make a move

you want nothing more than to wipe that cocky smirk off his face

and he wants nothing more than to continue to push your buttons and piss you off

…

the sound of your phone clattering to the ground might as well be a starter gunshot

the two of you practically lunge at each other and your mouths smear together clumsily

your teeth bump together with scraping kisses but honestly you can’t bring yourself to care

there’s something sweet about the way his lips taste

…it’s that damn strawberry gum he’s always chewing on

you feel tae’s hands slide down from your waist and skim over your bum briefly before he’s wrapping his fingers around the underside of your thighs and hoisting you up in one swift movement

you let out a gasp of surprise before winding your arms around tae’s neck instinctively “jesUs tae give a girl a warning next time-“

“next time?” he jokes and your cheeks flush at the implication that this is going to happen again sometime in the future

luckily the bedroom isn’t far from the living room because tae’s low-key afraid he’s going to drop you at some point

“u know what i mean”

“no, i don’t think i do- also, we’re fucking in my room because i’m the one with the condoms-“

“how do you know i don’t have condoms???”

“…you ever think about becoming a comedian?”

you roll your eyes before leaning down and covering his mouth with yours

“hey, i just realised i didn’t get the chance to tell you about all the things that i despise about you!” the mattress bounces underneath your weight as tae plops you down on it

you let out a huff and reach up to brush a couple strands of hair away from your face

“impossible because i’m literally perfect in every single way possible-“

“you wanna know what i hate about you?” tae cuts you off and parts your legs before crawling over you “you watch rilakkuma and you are an aDULt-”

you gawk immediately and resist the urge to smack him on the side of his head “says the one who watches naRUtO-“

“and not to mention i hate your stupid fruit-printed panties-“ taehyung growls and grinds down against your centre as he nips down your neck

you instinctively arch your back against him before letting out a snort “they’re cute and comFORtabLE-“

“if you’re going to walk around the apartment with no shorts on, at least wear something a little lacier.” he rolls his eyes as he pulls away from you and hops off so that he’s standing at the foot of the bed

you shuffle up to settle your head back against the pillows “oh, fuck you”

before you get a chance to get comfortable tae’s grabbing your ankles then pulling you back down so that your legs are dangling off the end of the mattress

your eyes widen when he suddenly appears above you

“trust me, i’m about to.” he leans down to give you a quick kiss before pulling away and you unconsciously let out a whimper

taehyung lowers to his knees and pushes your dress up until it’s crumpled up around your waist

god  

of course your panties have peaches on them  

fitting, considering the fact he’s going to be eating your peach in a minute

“oh, i also hate that you watch nature documentaries instead of shitty reality television shows like the reST of us-“ he grumbles and yanks your panties off before tossing them aside

you instinctively squeeze your legs together and taehyung reaches up to grip onto your kneecaps

“you know, i don’t know why you have to be so judgemental about eveRYthing that i do!! like so what if i watch rilakkuma and documentaries about sharks and- namjoon was actually the one who introduced me to nature docs in the first place because he said that cartoons would rot my brain so if you’re looking to put the blame on someone i personally would hiGHly suggest that- oH“ you yelp in surprise when tae suddenly fuLLy spreads your legs in one swift movement

he looks up at you from in between your legs and his fingers dig into the soft flesh of your thigh when he feels you wanting to cloSe them again

“are you going to shut up and let me go down on you or what?”

well

it doesn’t take you very long to discover what soo-young, or joy, was so damn happy about

your back arches and your lashes flutter in disbelief when you feel tae gliding his tongue in between your folds in quick, deep strokes

you don’t really want to give him the satisfaction of hearing you moan because of him but goD he’s making it really hard to not moan

your fingers grip tightly at the bedsheets and you nearly bite your bottom lip off when taehyung’s the one who lets out a throaty groan

“a-ah-“ this is the first loud moan he’s been able to pull from you and you feel the curve of his mouth as he smiles against you

“where do you think you’re going?” you let out a little yelp of surprise when taehyung wraps his arms around your thighs and pulls you down so that he can get even deeper

“tae- oh my god-“ you’re practically blubbering at this point and taehyung is very satisfied knowing about his effect on you

your knuckles feel creaky from clutching at the bedsheets so tightly but somehow you manage to pry one hand off before you’re tangling your fingers into tae’s honey brown locks and giving him a little tug of encouragement

the strands of hair feel awfully soft between your fingers and you’re reminded for a brief second that it’s because he’s using your organic shampoo and condition-

“don’T stop, oh my god, don’t stop-“ you accidentally give him a particularly rough yank when he suckles harder and flicks his tongue rapidly over your nerves

you can feel your muscles starting to get tighter

your abdomen starting to clench and unclench

and that familiar warmth growing in your stomach

the tingly feeling from the tips of your toes to the tips of your fingers

you’re almost there

getting closer and closer to cloud nine

and just when you’re literally a second away from exploding-

your eyes pop open when tae suddenly pulls away and your body twitches in response to being so close yet so far  

“wait, wha-“ you prop yourself up on your elbows

your dress is drooping off one shoulder and you gawk at tae when it seems like he’s not going to get back down there anytime soon “what are you doing?? i was literally about to-“

“if you’re going to cum-“ tae gets back up onto his knees before tugging his shirt off in one swift movement

oh

hello

he tilts his head and offers you a smirk when he notices your eyes wandering

“-you might as well do it around my cock.”  

it doesn’t take very long for the two of you to prep for the main course

in fact it kind of seems like a competition as the both of you riP your clothes off  

you’re pretty sure you broke a thread or two on your dress but it’s fine

“you ready?” there’s a playful glint in tae’s eyes as he rips the foil package open with his teeth

you resist the urge to roll your eyes as you settle back against the fluffy pillows

“are you ready?” you challenge with a raised brow

christ almighty

he likes you but you’re reaLLy getting on his nerves

“i cannot wait to fuck the brattiness out of you” tae grumbles more to himself than to you

also

you knew tae was packing even beFore you got to see it up close and personal (like all those times he’d walk around the apartment wearing nothing but a pair of sweatpants) but it still doesn’t fail to surprise you looking at it now

he’s an impressive size, to say the least

tae glances at you for a second as if to gauge your reaction as he rolls the condom onto his length smoothly

well

the way you spread your legs for him the moment he gets the condom on is definitely a good sign

tae settles in between your legs and leans down to give you an (unexpectedly sweet) kiss as he presses against your entrance

he immediately notices the way your brows pinch together in discomfort

it hAs been a while after all

“you alright?” he asks softly as you envelope him in your arms

“don’t get all soft on me now, kim” you tease and brush some hair out of his eyes

he snorts

“trust me, i’m the opposite of that-“

your mouth falls open in a silent gasp when tae slides in smoothly with no resistance at aLL from your walls

he did a really good job warming you up that’S for sure

you dig your nails into his shoulders when he drives forward hard and he swoops down to catch your lips in a kiss

“jesus, you’re tight-“ he huffs when he feels you clench around him

you whimper breathlessly while pulling his broad, muscled shoulders closer and bucking your hips up towards him

“do you hate me now, hm?” tae growls lowly as he hitches one of your legs up to his hip and continues to piston into you

“i, nngh, i h-hate you s-so much-“ you’re practically sobbing with pleasure and taehyung is most definitely going to keep this memory in his spank bank for future use heyO

he’s going so mind-blowingly hard he’s sure that he’s going to break the bed

his breathing is raggedly in time with every push into you

he groans and throws his head back when he feels himself getting closer n closer to the edge

he never thought it was possible to feel this good

god is a woman yes She IS

your head digs back against the plush pillows and tae lowers his body so that he’s resting on his forearms

his sticky chest is practically crushed against yours as he continues to drive you into the bed and you can’t help but let yourself indulge in the feeling of his muscles rippling underneath your fingertips

“you don’t- fuck, you don’t hate me, admit it-“

“jesus tae of course i don- god, h-harder,” you hiccup and dig your nails into his back so hard that you’re positive you’re drawing a little bit of blood “please-“

if there’s one thing that taehyung knows he’s super good at

it’s taunting you

and he’ll never forgive himself if he lets this window of opportunity close on him

“please, who?” he taunts you with hot breaths against your ear “say my name-“

“f-fuck you-“

“jesus, fuck, say my fucking name-“ his hand slips in between your legs and you twitch when he starts rubbing quick circles over your clit “let everybody know who’s making you feel this good-“ taehyung groans and buries his face into the crook of your neck

“tae- oh my god, taehyung-!” you cry out sharply and immediately tighten around the next powerful push he delivers inside of you

your orgasm shockwaves through you as you pulse hard around him

you can practically hear your blood roaring in your ears as he continues to fuck you through your orgasm

speaking of orgasms

tae’s thrusts are starting to get jerky and uneven and you can tell by the way his nails dig into the soft flesh of your hips that he’s close

“so fucking tight-“ tae stiffens and rams into you one last time before his orgasm practically explodes from the centre of him and into the condom

his lips part and he lets out a low moan of satisfaction before going slack on top of you

you’re nothing but light twitches and whimpers as taehyung pulls out of you gently

you feel him pressing soft kisses to your shoulders and you reach up to stroke your hand over his damp locks before he’s rolling off of you with a gasp

…

okay

oookaaay

okay!

so

you just

you and tae just

y’all really did that

the realisation that the two of you just had sex seems to hit the both of you at the same time

tae clears his throat

“so.”

“so.” you repeat quietly

you prop yourself up on your elbows and turn to look over at him

“you can keep living here, i was just… pent-up anger, you know how it builds.”

“oh, yeah, i get it.” tae clears his throat as he sits up to toss the soiled condom away

you lie back down and let out a breath

would it be weird for you to stay

is he not asking you to leave because he’s just being polite

o god

yeah

maybe you should go back to your room

you lift the covers off gingerly and sit up as your eyes flicker about to search for your dress “i should probably-“

tae reaches out quickly and wraps his fingers around your wrist

you turn to look at him

he looks dewy in the warm glow of the bedside lamp (but also because he’s kinda sweAty)

his cheeks are rosy and his hair is mussed and he has blotches of red dotted along his neck and if you look hard enough you’re able to make out the faint crescent moon marks embedded in his bicep (you really need to cut ur nails soon)

he’s so cute

“you- uh, you can stay if you want to… you didn’t get a chance to put your fresh bedsheets on anyway”

his heart skips a beat when you nod and curl back under the covers with him

a moment of silence goes by

tae turns over onto his side so that he’s facing you

“do you actually hate me?” he murmurs and reaches over to tuck a strand of hair behind your ear

you hum

“i could never.”

he smiles happily before flipping over onto his back

he doesn’t know if now would be a good time to tell you about how he feels about you

the comfortable silence is nice and also he’s still a little anxious about how you’re going to respond

he doesn’t want to ruin this bubble that you guys are in right now

so maybe it’d be better to tell you tomorrow

yeah

he’ll do it tomorrow

as you’re lying there in the dark, the thought of ‘do i like taehyung?’ crosses your mind

and there’s really only one answer to that question

there’s a reason why you weren’t all that hurt when jungkook didn’t show up

there’s a reason why the entire time you were waiting for jungkook to pick you up, the only thing you were thinking about was how you definitely bailed on tae and how much fun a pizza and documentary night would’ve been with him

there’s a reason why you let him join in on your supEr private air-guitar concerts in the kitchen that only namjoon has been able to experience

there’s a reason why you don’t mind all the teasing and the hair-pulling

there’s a reason

why you don’t get mad at him when he wakes you up in the morning by whacking you with a pillow before bouncing up and down on your bed like a maniac

why you don’t roll your eyes when he complains about there not being any yogurt left or when you eat the last piece of orange chicken or when you insist on watching another episode of ‘our earth’ before going to bed and he responds by calling you a nerd

there’s a reason why you feel like this unintentional hookup was actually intentional this whole damn time

there’s a reason why you agreed to stay with him instead of going to your room which is literally ten steps away

oh, god. i like taehyung.

taehyung wakes up the next morning in a cold, empty bed

he props himself up and rubs his hand over his face to wake himself up a little bit

his eyes flicker over your side of the bed

the pillow still has a dip in it from where your head was and-

yep of courSe you left a couple stands of hair behind lol

he turns to check the time on his phone and thaT’s when he notices the pink sticky note stuck to the pole of his bedside lamp

he squints a little because his eyes are still a little bleary with sleep

but once the note comes into his focus and he gets a chance to read it

his heart drops to his stomach

‘taehyung - i think that was a mistake.’

here’s the thing

you’re not just stressing out a little bit

you weren’t even this nervous when you were studying for finals!!!!!

you’re stressing out a LOTtle bit because now that you’ve had the entire day to think about it

you’re 110% sure that you have a crush on kim taehyung

and you have no fuNKing idea what the heck you’re supposed to do now

tell him that you like him??? what if he doesn’t like you back?? he’s still going to be your roommate even if he doesn’t like you back and things will never be the same again because you’re always going to have that elephant in the room you’ll be tip-toeing around and it’s just going to be a biG ol mess

but what if you don’t tell him that you like him?? then things will go back to normal except you guys will just never talk about the fact that his p was inside of your v and you’re probably going to have to deal with him bringing girls over again which is something that would honestly probably break your already weAK heart

but if you really think about it

at the end of the day, you’re always going home to taehyung

taehyung is your home.

“sometimes you just have to be willing to take a chance, you know?” namjoon shrugs as he flips a pen in between his fingers “otherwise you’re going to spend the rest of your life wondering to yourself, ‘what if i…?’”

you let out a little huff and lean down to press your face against the counter

sometimes you feel like namjoon was some kind of wise old owl in his past life

or maybe because he just reads a lot of philosophy books

he spends a lot of time in the library after all

“i don’t know, joonie… it’s not that easy, you know?” you sigh and shake your head “what happens if he doesn’t feel-“

namjoon literally shrieKs and ducks down when the library doors suddenly swing open violently

your eyes widen when you see taehyung storm in looking like he’s about to kill someone

he looks around frantically before locking gazes with you

oh

great!

it looks like the person he’s about to kill is you

“what the hell do you mean by ‘i think that was a mistake?’”

oh boy

you swallow thickly

“it either was a mistake or it wasn’T a mistake! you can’t think you made a mistake! you make a mistake, or you don’t make a mistake! there’s no in between, y/n!” he exasperates as he stomps over to you

you flash the people around the front counter a sheepish smile before looking at a veRy angry tae

you clear your throat

“hello to you too, roomie.”

“oh don’T give me that roomie bullshit right now, y/l/n.” he snaps and fixes the strap of his backpack “i think we need to talk.”

hA

nice reference

how clever of him

the cheeky boy

“i… don’t know if we have anything we need to talk about…” you shrug innocently before turning to lean back against the counter

oh

alright

if that’s how you’re going to do things then tae will happily play along

“oh? we don’t?” he raises a brow before poking his tongue into the inside of his cheek

“nope”

he scoffs and crosses his arms before looking you dead in the eye

“okay, fine. we don’t have to talk about the red scratch marks down my back left by your nails due to our mind-blowing sex last night because they’re kindA starting to sting and i was hoping we could go to the pharmacy and pick up some ointment for them… we also don’t have to talk about how you practically went cross-eyed when i did that thing with my tongue where-“

“okAY so it looks like we do have a couple things to talk about after all!!!!!” your voice cracks and namjoon gives you that look that you knOw is the ‘you have a lot of explaining to do’ face

it kind of makes him look constipated but that’s not the point

the most private place you could find in the shortest amount of time was behind the library

there’s a faint smell of garbage since this is where the dumpsters are but it seems like neither one of you care

“what is the matter with you??” you hiss and cross your arms

“what’s the matter with me?” tae scoffs “what’s the matter with yOU??”  

you resist the urge to roll your eyes

“look, i’m sure whatever you want to talk about can wait til we get back to the apartment-“

“where were you in the morning?” tae interrupts you and raises a brow

…

oof

see

the thing is

this morning when you woke up and realised that you still had feelings for taehyung and it wasn’t just a post-orgasm hormonal thing you kind of freaked out

so naturally you just… left

you just needed some time to think

anD you needed to hunt namjoon down because he always gives the best advice

you didn’t think it’d be such a big deal

in fact you’re not even sure why taehyung is fussing so much over it

unless….

“what- what are you talking about?”

“i don’t know how else to state the question. where were you this morning?”

“…i was… look, taehyung, i-“

“how do you think it makes me feel when you promised you would stay with me and i-i wake up completely alone and instead of seeing you the first thing i see is a stupid sticky note with-“ he raises his hands to do air quotes “-taehyung, i think that was a mistake?????”

“i can see why that would make you upset but i really think it’d be best if we just forgot about what we did and simply moved on-“

“oh my god, you are so stuBBo- you know what, i actually didn’t get the chance to finish going through the list of things that i hate about you, so i think now is the perfect chance to finish telling you aLL about it” tae laughs coldly and your brows knit together in confusion

“i don’t know if that’s very relevant right now-“

“you wanna know what the biggest thing i hate about you is?”

oh god

here we go

“what? my apparent inability to differentiate between making a mistake and-“

“i hate how much i like you.” tae interrupts you and your eyes widen at the sudden confession “i like everything about you, y/n. i like seeing how happy you get when you’re watching an episode of rilakkuma or when we’re having a nature documentary marathon. i like your stupid fruit-printed panties and i’m pretty sure my heart went into overdrive when i saw your dumb peach ones last night.” tae rolls his eyes playfully, “i like you, and i’m like 97% sure that you like me back, but you’re just too stubborn to admit it! i just- you are so fruStrating and usually i can tell if someone likes me back but it’s like i can’t even tell with you!!!!!” he scoffs and flaiLs his arms around before starting to pace around in front of you “jesus, y/l/n, i like you, and i wanna hold your hand, and i wanna kiss your stupid face after you wake up and before you go to bed, and i want you to wear my sweatshirts not because it was accidentally mixed into your laundry basket but just because you like wearing my clothes, and i wanna go grocery shopping with you and see how many tubs of ice cream we can get for free-“

you’re barely paying attention to what taehyung’s saying because:

taehyung likes you

and you like him

the realisation makes a soft smile appear on your face and you feel your heart skip a beat

taehyung likes you!!!!

and you like him!!!!

you guys like each other!!!!!

oh my god!!!!!

oH My gOD!!!!!!

“and you know what, even if you don’t like me back i don’t regret telling you about my feelings because i feel good knowing that it’s off my chest-“

“tae-“ you clear your throat and tae holds a hand out as if to tell you to shUT it

“-and at the end of the day we’re still going to be roommates which is finE with me like if you don’t like me in that way i guess i’ll have to get used to rejection but-“

“tae-“

“-i just wanna know!!!! i just wanna know what’s going on in that duMb ol head of yours because one minute you’re cuddled up to me and the next you’re acting like i’m crawling with germs oR one minute you’re calling me tae-tae and feeding me chicken because i’m too lazy to feed myself and the next minute you-“

“kim taehyung!!!!!!!”

“what?!” tae stops in his tracks and whiPs around to face you

he’s surprised to see that you’re looking at him with the softest smile on your face

there’s a little twinkle in your eye as you take a step towards him

“i think… this is the part where you’re supposed to kiss me.”

the frown fades from tae’s face

wait what

you

you want him to kiss you?

does this mean…

well now he feels a little silly

you should’ve saiD something before he went off on his angry rant about how much he haTes that he likes you

taehyung clears his throat “…sorry, what was that?”

you let out a sigh and roll your eyes before reaching out and grabbing onto the collar of tae’s t-shirt and pulling him towards you

your nervous happiness transitions to a giddy excitement as you press your lips against his

this kiss is definitely veRy different compared the one you shared last night

more sweet

more loving

your guys’ mouths meld together so perfectly it almost seems like you guys were made for each other and damNit you can taste that obnoxiously sweet strawberry gum on his lips

tae’s arm snakes around your waist and his palm presses against your jaw as he tilts your head up

you feel like you could float up to the sky like a balloon if it weren’t for his grip on you

his lips are insistent and he parts for a brief second before going back in for another kiss

he tilts his head a bit juSt so he can press a tiny bit harder and you giggle when his nose nudges against yours

it feels like sparkles are just blinking everYwhere around the two of you

tae smiles softly as he pulls away and up this close you’re able to see the golden flecks in his brown irises twinkling like little tiny stars

“does this mean i can drink straight out of the orange juice carton now?” tae hums and brushes a strand of your hair back gently

you purse your lips in thought

“…we’re going to have to talk about that one.”

so yeah

out of all the people in the world to get stuck with

kim taehyung really isn’t all that bad.

[riversofmars]

This one took a little while as I hated the first draft and had to rewrite almost everything lol. TW for mild dub con but honestly, nothing bad. Hope you enjoy it. <3

Rating: M

Word-count: 4000

Chapter 4: Conflicting Loyalties 

The Doctor couldn’t be sure how much time had passed. There were no windows or anything else to measure the passing of time by but when she heard voices outside, her shirt was dry enough to put back on. She couldn’t make out what the voices were saying but it sounded like an argument. Her coat was still a bit damp but she pulled it on regardless, in case the content of her pockets came in handy. Her shoulder was feeling better, at least the bleeding her stopped, and faintly, she could feel her regenerative energy working on it. It would be healed in no time at all. She pushed her hands into her pockets and stepped up to the bars in anticipation as the door opened.

“No-one is to learn her identity, you can’t just walk her around the palace.“ Yaz was snapping at a second person, attempting to stop them from entering but they weren’t having it.

“I am well aware, Captain, we take orders from the same people.“

The Doctor frowned, she vaguely recognised that voice.

Clearly annoyed, Yaz stepped aside and the Doctor instinctively took a step back from the bars. The Monk, dressed in expensive looking scarlet robes. She had been a while since she had last seen the renegade Timelord. They weren’t exactly fond memories. The Monk stepped closer, looking the Doctor up and down, his expression unreadable.

“Please open the cell, Captain.“ He turned to Yaz who didn’t look happy at all but she had her orders. It was clear that she didn’t particularly like or trust the Monk but it appeared as if she only trusted very few people indeed. Reluctantly she opened the cell.

“You need to take precautions, you can’t…“ She started again but he was one step ahead of her. He revealed what looked like two electrodes in the palm of his hand.

“Perception filter?“ The Doctor realised what it was but she inched back regardless. She knew it wasn’t dangerous but in this universe, she couldn’t be sure.

“Very perceptive, then I’m sure you understand there is no need to resist.“ The Monk smiled, the Doctor bumped into the metal bench behind her, there was nowhere to go but she had no intention of holding still for him. “Some help, Captain?“ The Monk looked to Yaz who rolled her eyes.

“Fine, alright.“ The Doctor held her hands up before Yaz got to close to her. She knew she stood a better chance of escaping if she got out of this cell, plus, a perception filter could prove useful. She held her hand out to the Monk who raised his eyebrows at her but dropped the electrodes into her hand. The Doctor attached them to her temples, flicking on a little switch to the back. It was a lot preferable to having a bag thrown over her head again.

This time around, the Doctor had the opportunity to look around while she was being led through the corridors of the palace. They were in the Citadel, she was sure of it, the passages looked very familiar. It gave her hope that if she managed to get way from her captors, she would find a way out of here. The Monk hadn’t bother with handcuffs either and the Doctor soon realised why. The number of guards around the royal wing was staggering. If she made any attempt at escape, they would be on her in a flash. So she followed the Monk, her stomach turning at the idea of what might come next.

“You’re the first other Timelord I’ve seen around here…“ The Doctor observed but didn’t get a response. “You don’t seem to like the Captain back there either… is that cause she’s human?“ She carried on, recalling the conversation between River and her parents earlier. When Rory had referred to them not liking having them here, surely he was referring to the Timelords? They were on Gallifrey after all.

“Through here.“ The Monk didn’t answer her question, instead he led her to a big door and opened it.

“Love how eager you all are to talk…“ The Doctor huffed and froze in the doorway when she looked ahead and saw who was waiting for her. The Monk didn’t take kindly to her stopping, he gave her a shove forward and closed the door from the outside.

“You must be the Doctor.“ Clara turn to face her and her appearance could have fooled her. She was all button-up blouse and skirt, just like the Doctor remembered her, but she knew better than to trust a first appearance.

“Clara…“ The Doctor didn’t know what to do, she stood motionless as Clara walked towards her.

“Oh, so we know each other over there? That’s good, that makes things easier.“ She smiled and reached out to cup her face. The Doctor flinched back, but all she did was disengage the perception filter. “That’s remarkable…“ Clara looked at The Doctors face in wonder for a moment, almost as if she hadn’t believed what she had been told until she saw for herself. When Clara seemed to have gotten over the initial shock, she reached out for The Doctors hands. “It’s so good to meet you.“

The Doctor hesitated, unsure what to do or say in reply. Clara’s words were warm and inviting but she was clearly one of the Emperor’s trusted advisors, else she wouldn’t have been brought here, so The Doctor knew she couldn’t trust her. She pulled her hands back.

“Please, don’t worry, I have no intention of hurting you. How is your shoulder?“ Clara gave her a warm smile and reached out for her shoulder.

“Fine.“ The Doctor pulled away again.

“Well, you are a Timelord, you should heal fairly quickly.“ Clara smiled pleasantly. “Have you eaten?“

“What?“ The Doctor frowned, confused.

“Well, people always forget, getting so carried away, don’t they, in the heat of it all, the interrogations and such…“ Clara chuckled. “So have you? Eaten I mean.“

“No…“ The Doctor answered slowly, waiting for the catch.

“Splendid.“ Clara clapped her hands together and gestured for her to come and have a seat. The room wasn’t quite as grand as the Emperor’s living quarters but was decked out with similar splendour. On a coffee table, a meal was laid out. The Doctor hadn’t even realised she was hungry until she saw the food. “It’s not a trick, it’s perfectly edible.“ Noticing her hesitation, Clara grabbed a small bowl and a spoon. It contained a small soufflé and ate a spoonful of it as if to prove it wasn’t poisoned. “I love a good soufflé.“ She smiled, delighted, as the Doctor slowly walked up to her.

“Aren’t you… going to question me or something? Find out what happened?“ She asked as Clara moved over, making room for her on the sofa.

“Are you going to tell me?“ Clara asked.

“No.“ The Doctor huffed.

“Then why would I waste my time? Sit.“ The Doctor did, even if she was still reluctant. She eyed the food with the same distrust as the person next to her. She knew it wasn’t her Clara, but she didn’t seem nearly as bad as the other people she had encountered so far. She knew it might well just be a ruse but surely, not everyone could be bad in this place, right?

“Then why am I here?“ The Doctor asked.

“Is this not more pleasant than the cell you were in?“ Clara chuckled eating another spoon of soufflé.

“Sure…“ The Doctor said, looking at the spread of food in front of her. Her stomach actually growled at the sight of it, tempted. “But what are you playing at?“

“Believe it or not Doctor, I’m trying to help you.“ Clara replied and picked up a second spoon, offering it to the Doctor.

“Help me?“ The Doctor looked at her utterly bewildered.

“Yes. You stood up to the Emperor, that’s very brave and very stupid.“ Clara said turning fully towards her. “She always gets what she wants. Believe me. She will have her answers one way or another.“ Her words were firm and persuasive and the Doctor didn’t doubt the truth behind them. “So when I found out about you, I knew I had to intervene.“

“If you want to help me, get me out of here.“ The Doctor replied and took the spoon offered to her. She scooped a bit of the soufflé out of the bowl, eyeing it suspiciously as Clara had another taste, clearly enjoying it.

“You know I can’t do that, they would know it was me.“ Clara shook her head with an apologetic smile.

“Then what…“ How else could this Clara possibly help her if not by allowing her to escape? Hesitantly, she tasted the soufflé and actually groaned a little at how nice it was. Clara gave her an approving smile before carrying on.

“Full disclosure, Doctor, the Emperor asked me to interrogate you to find out how you crossed over to our universe.“ She explained matter-of-factly. “And though you might find it disconcerting, that is something I’m very very good at.“

“I’m not scared of you.“ The Doctor shot back, almost too quickly.

“And I’m not trying to intimidate you. When she told me who you were, I immediately realised what a great opportunity this is.“ Clara went on calmly.

“How so?“ The Doctor frowned in confusion, this was not going the way she had anticipated. She had expected Clara to be like everyone else she had met here, but she was rather a lot like the Clara she remembered. The Doctor scooped up another bit of soufflé.

“I’m going to tell you something I probably shouldn’t so please don’t speak of this.“ Clara carried on and handed her the bowl they were sharing. “Things aren’t going well in the Empire, the population is suffering. They need to be governed, they need to be looked after, instead of focusing on expanding, we need to rule what we already have. The Emperor, however, believes that only conquest is progress and that all problems will go away so long as we keep expanding.“

“That sounds about right…“ The Doctor contemplated her words, it certainly rang true with what she had seen so far.

“As I’m sure you’ve realised already, there is no-one to stand up to her…“ Clara poured a glass of orange juice and handed it to the Doctor who had finished the soufflé.

“And you want me to…“ The Doctor took the drink offered to her.

“I want us to work together. I have a lot of connections around the palace too, I have power but… the military, the generals… they’re just as blood thirsty as her and without their support, any attempt of bringing about change would fail.“ Clara revealed, watching her take a sip and then a gulp as she realised how nice it was.

“Any attempt at a coup you mean.“ The Doctor couldn’t help but point out.

“To put it bluntly, yes.“ Clara nodded.

“How do I figure into this?“ The Doctor asked, waiting for the catch.

“Well, this is where you would have to trust me.“ Clara gave her an apologetic smile and the Doctor knew immediately she wouldn’t like the answer. “If you tell me what you know, I can take it to the generals, secure their backing and after I have power, stop any attempt at crossing between the universes. Please believe me, I am genuinely only concerned with this one and the welfare of the people here.“

“Nice try.“ The Doctor shook her head, she couldn’t actually believe she thought she could get her to talk this way. She had no reason to believe any of this was true. In all likelihood, Clara was just trying to trick her, gain her trust, and take the information to the Emperor as requested. The Doctor was quick to raise her walls again. “Why should I believe anything you say? You’re one of her friends like you were my friend in my universe, my Clara wouldn’t betray me so why should I believe you’d go behind her back?“

“Until recently I would not have. Just like in your universe, I once cared for her - deeply - that’s why I’m here.“ Clara replied with a smile that had something bittersweet about it. “But she has lost her way. Surely, that’s pretty obvious? All the while I’ve been hoping she would see reason but there are other people who’s counsel she’ll take over mine.“ She shrugged as if there was nothing she could do about that and that she had accepted that. “And now, seeing you, well, it’s showing me a version of what she could be… and that’s very tempting.“ She reached out and brushed a strand of the Doctor’s hair behind her ear. She regarded her earring with interest. The Doctor pulled back, startled at the sudden gesture of affection.

“If she’s such a terrible person - which she is - why are you still here if you don't agree with her?“ The Doctor wanted to believe her but she couldn’t.

“I’m not proud of it but I told you what it’s like out there, I’d be stupid to leave the palace… and I guess part of me just wasn’t ready to give up on her.“ Clara admitted and took the drink out of her hand to put it aside. “But now that you’re here…“ She leaned closer and ran her fingers along the collar of the Doctor's coat.

“Clara…“ The Doctor sputtered, as Clara brought her knees up on the sofa to perch next to her, and felt the run of Clara’s fingertips over her cheek.

“Tell me about her, Doctor. Tell me about your Clara.“

“We uh… we travelled together for a time.“ The Doctor answered not sure what sort of answer she was hoping for.

“Is that all?“ Clara asked softly, almost disappointed, searching her face for more.

“She saved me many times in many different lives.“ The Doctor replied, trying not to let Clara’s gestures of affection unnerve her.

“Who’s to say I can’t do that again, now?“ Clara’s voice was soft, almost pleading. “Maybe we can save each other.“ She leaned forward and pressed a kiss to the Doctor unsuspecting lips.

“What are you doing?!“ The Doctor panicked and pushed her back, holding her at arm’s length.

“Don’t you miss her, Doctor? Your Clara?“ Clara whispered. “I can see it in your eyes, when you look at me, you wish I was her. I know I’m not and I know you’re not her either but… we could make a great team, you and me. Maybe we don’t even have to involve anyone, maybe you could just replace the Emperor…“ The was a mad twinkle in her eyes at the idea.

“All I want is to get back to my universe.“ The Doctor retorted trying to sound firm, suddenly feeling very nervous. She let go of Clara’s shoulders willing her to stay back while she shifted away across the sofa, putting some extra distance between them. Clara, however, seemed to have other ideas.

“It’s not all bad over here, Doctor, I can keep you safe if you stick with me…“ She gave her a flirty smile and got to her feet. She took a few steps, coming to a confronting stop right in front of the Doctor. “We could work together. Tell me what you know and I can give you everything you want.“ She reached out and tilted The Doctors chin, making her took up to her. “We could do so much together. God knows you’re everything I wish she was…“ She whispered, biting her bottom lip and she looked the Doctor up and down with blatant appreciation.

“Clara, I think you’re reading this wrong, my Clara and I, we never…“ The Doctor didn’t know what to say, how to handle her advances.

“Oh come on, Doctor.“ She chuckled as she slowly started unbuttoning her own blouse. “You’ll be stuck here for a while, might as well enjoy it for the time being. Let me show you what you could have if you work with me… I promise I’ll be gentle.“

“Clara, I don’t…“ The Doctor tried to get up but Clara was right in front of her, pushing her back down and keeping her there. As much as she tried not to look, the Doctor’s eyes were drawn to her half-unbuttoned blouse. “How do you have that?“ The Doctor exclaimed in shock when she recognised the tattoo revealed on Clara’s chest.

“Looking after all, hm?“ Clara smirked and took the Doctor’s hand, guiding it to the black tattoo snaking its way up her chest. “They’re the markings of a Quantum Shade.“

“I know what it is, why do you have it?“ The Doctor tried to pull her hand away but Clara held it close.

“I told you I have power here.“ She smirked and the Doctor felt anxiety rising inside her. No matter what this Clara was telling her or what her intentions were, even if she did want to help and work with her, she was dangerous in a way she hadn’t anticipated.

“What is your role here? Why does she keep you around if she doesn’t take your advice? Is it for that?“ The Doctor asked trying to pull away.

“Every court needs a judge.“ Clara whispered softly. “You’re not scared of a little danger, are you, Doctor?“

“And an executioner.“ The Doctor’s eyes widened in horror at the realisation.

“We all have to find a way to make ourselves stand out in this universe.“ There was a mad twinkle in Clara’s eyes that made the Doctor shudder, she had done so well at hiding it until now which was the most disconcerting thing. “Comes in handy with other things too… interrogations… when you can sentence someone to death and you're the only one able to reverse it, works a charm.“ Clara explained, clearly amused at her reaction. “I did tell you I was very good at it.“ She winked at her. “But don’t worry, I have no intention of hurting you, quite the contrary…“ She pushed the Doctor back with surprising strength and straddled her lap.

“Clara, don’t, I…!“ The Doctor exclaimed but Clara silenced her protest with a kiss. She took the Doctor’s hands and placed them on her own hips.

“Help me, Doctor, tell me how you crossed over and we can rule this place together.“ She pushed her hands into the Doctor’s hair and pulled her head back before pressing her lips to her throat.

“Is that really how you interrogate someone?“ Amy called from the door, highly amused, making both Clara and the Doctor jump.

“I mean, I wouldn’t mind an interrogation like that.“ Rory commented with a grin and Amy smacked her husband’s shoulder.

“Shut up.“

“I’m so sorry, they just…“ The Monk rushed in after them. Clara looked around clearly annoyed.

“What are you doing here?“ Clara growled angrily. The Doctor took the opportunity of her being distracted to shove her off her lap. Clara dropped onto the sofa next to her but quickly recovered and pulled herself up.

“Just checking in, see how things are going.“ Amy grinned and sauntered closer. She looked to the Doctor who straightened herself up pulling her coat up properly that Clara had pushed down.

“The Emperor entrusted me with…“ Clara stood and stepped closer, meeting the Ponds halfway. The Doctor looked on, conflicted as to who she should be rooting for in this face off. And why was there a disagreement at all? Had Clara spoken the truth and she wasn’t in league with the Emperor as much as the Doctor had assumed, while the Ponds were clearly avid supporters? Or was there more to it that she didn’t know about?

“Yeah, but thing is, we don’t really trust you, so…“ Amy shrugged, answering the Doctor’s question.

“You mean River doesn’t.“ Clara bit back taking a threatening step towards them.

“Same thing.“ Rory shrugged strolling around the room, having a look around, making himself at home. Clara followed his movements with her eyes, her expression one of fury.

“Tell her to sort it out with her wife then, I’m following her orders after all.“ Clara snapped turning to Amy.

“What were those orders, exactly? To give the prisoner a good shag, was it?“ Amy retorted with a cruel laugh.

“It’s none of your business how I…“ Clara started but Rory interrupted:

“Maybe you can make her talk with your head between her legs.“

“Are we any closer to talking then?“ Amy looked past Clara and gave a little wave to the Doctor who didn’t know what to do, she remained seated, trying not to call attention to herself.

“River doesn’t have to trust me. And the Emperor does, so…“ Clara stepped in between Amy and the Doctor, stopping her from getting closer.

“Of course she doesn’t trust you, I wouldn’t trust you near my husband either.“ Amy snarled, giving her a demeaning look up and down.

“You have a type, don’t you.“ Rory chuckled, looking to the Doctor who blushed, despite the fact that she really wasn’t a willing participant in the whole thing.

“You have no business being here.“ Clara growled, her voice low and threatening, she had had enough. The tattoo on her chest started moving, dissolving, evaporating off her skin and turning into black smoke the threateningly curled into the air round her. The Doctor jumped when the screeching of a raven sounded deep from the adjourning room.

“Are you sure you want to do this.“ Amy smirked and pulled a knife from her belt, more than ready to strike.

“You know I do, try me.“ Clara leaned closer and Rory pulled his sword from its sheath circling round her.

“Okay, okay, I think that’s plenty of that.“ The Doctor interrupted, jumping to her feet unable to take the tension any longer. Though these weren’t her friends, she couldn’t watch another one of them die, particularly not at each other’s hands. Quickly she stepped in between Amy and Clara pushing them apart.

“What’s it to you?“ Amy shoved her back and Clara caught her by her shoulders, steading her.

“Stay out of this, Doctor.“

“It would benefit you if we killed each other, so why are you interfering?“ Rory shook his head in amusement, unable to understand what she was doing.

“I just don’t…“ The Doctor couldn’t really explain it. Of course it would be good if they went for each other, she might have an opportunity to escape if they did, but it had been an automatic reaction.

“Monk!“ Clara called looking to the door. “Can you just…“ She gestured to the Doctor.

“Right away.“ The Monk nodded, showing more urgency at her order than he had with the Doctor previously. The chain of command was fairly clear cut.

“Take her back to her cell, just while we sort this out.“ Clara returned her attention to Amy.

“Come along.“ The Monk grabbed the Doctor by the shoulders, he flicked on her perception filter and shoved her towards the door. The Doctor looked around feeling torn. She was grateful to be taken out of the situation with Clara but also worried about the situation escalating. She told herself not to worry about it, it wasn’t her problem, they weren’t her friends. The door closed and the Doctor tried to shake the feeling of dread, reminding herself she had nothing to do with this and that this universe would probably be better off if they fought amongst themselves. It was hard to get used to this backwards way of thinking. The Monk demanded her attention as he walked her down the corridor.

“When I tell you, Doctor, you’re going to hit me in the face and hard.“

“What?“ The words didn’t sink in, they just made the Doctor stop dead in her tracks and whip around confused. The Monk pushed her on, making her keep going as he looked around to check no-one else had heard him.

[cake-in-a-tin]

welcome to our mayhem

hi! Welcome to my first attempt at a text fic, idk how good it ‘tis, but let me know what you think! (lils-Lily, burgerz-Mary, queen-Marlene, wonderland gurl-Alice, dork-Dorcas)

tHe BaEs

Lils: yo dudes

Burgerz: waddup

Lils: imma add this girl who’s joining tomorrow if that’s ok - we’re old friends from like nursery

Queen: sure, is that dorcas meadowes ?

Queen: I think I’m her tour guide or some shit

Wonderland gurl: sorry I was sleeping

Wonderland gurl: what did I miss

Queen: wHaT dId I mIsS

Queen: hEaDfIrSt InTo A pOlItIcAl AbYsS

Burgerz: i been in paris meeting lotsa different ladayys

Wonderland gurl: I guess I practically missed the late eightaysss

Queen: travelled the whole wiiideee world and came back to this

Lils: pleeeeassse not again....

Lils: mar I thought you were on my side???

Queen: sorryyyyyy

Queen: I couldn’t resist it

Queen: it was perfect!

Wonderland gurl: it was indeed. I set you up fuckin perfectly u are very much welcome biatch

Burgerz: *slow claps in appreciation*

Lils: anyways imma add this girl now, she is dorcas mar and she’s lovely so be nice!

Lils added Dork

Lils: welcome to our mayhem love 

Dork: hii 

Lils: shall we all like introduce ourselves?

Queen: k, I’m first

Queen: hello, I am Marlene McKinnon, and I’m your stupid tour guide thing that Dumbledore thought was a good idea

Burgerz: hi, I’m Mary MacDonald (hence the name) and I’m very bad at maths, which is also my only personality trait

Wonderland gurl: hello there, my name is Alice Fortescue (don’t try and spell it it took me almost seven years of my life) and I have a fucked up sleep schedule tm

Lils: everyone knows me uwu 

Dork: okay, im Dorcas Meadowes, and I’m just a bi disaster haha

Queen: lol mood

Wonderland gurl: oh btw dorcas we are all lgbtq+ soo 

Dork: okay cool 

Queen: ya, I’m gay, lils is pan, mary is aroace and alice is queer

Wonderland gurl: yh I’m figuring it out but ik girls are pretty as well so :)

Dork: can relate lol

Wonderland gurl: I should probably sleep it’s school and I haven’t slept properly in like three fuckin daysss

Queen: gurrrrllllll omg u r gonna dieee tomorrow

Wonderland gurl: ik im scared and it’s only seven thirty but i will sleep like four and a half hours of that because I just watch netflix aaahh

Burgerz: just gooo Ali, otherwise u will regret everything

Wonderland gurl: k byeee bitchez

Lils: bye

Queen: bye love

Burgerz: cheerio

Dork: bye I think?

Lils: we're all a mess, u get used to it dw 

Lils: also Mary can u get anymore stereotypical British omg

Burgerz: I’m sorry babe it’s in my natureeee

Queen: lol

Queen: I ghibhjfyfvbss

Dork: r u ok?

Queen: a frickin moth bro 

Queen: it attacked me and I’m scared because I didn’t see where it went

Lils: I’m rooting for you love

Queen attached a video

Burgerz : omg I’m dyingggg your voicem u sound so scared

Queen: lmao I was scared for my life if I’m being honest 

Dork: ahahahaha I’m laughing out loud and my cat is just looking at me like wtf is wrong with you human

Queen: u have CAT???

Burgerz: you have a cat? I must see him

Queen: lol we are on the same wavelength haha

Burgerz: ✨soulmates✨ Burgerz: but like platonically lol

Dork: here is mouse

Dork attached a photo

Queen: vvffdyujcndh 

Queen: so fuckin adorable

Burgerz: I LOVE him

Lils: I’ve seen him before and I love him, but I don’t think I ever asked - why mouse?

Dork: lmao we just thought it would be ironic

Dork: also he’s never caught a mouse or anything else in his life because he’s too damn lazy

Queen: omg I relate to mouse so much lol

Dork: honestly same 

Lils: dudes we should probs sleep if we want to be beautiful for school

Queen: ugh sleep is so overrated 

Queen: but yeah...

Lils: bye xxx

Burgerz: adios 

Dork: byeee

Queen: see yall tomorrow

Private message: Lils + Queen

Queen: yo, quick question

Lils: shoot

Queen: what does dorcas look like?

Lils: ummm idk, why?

Queen: eh no reason

Lils: she’s black, short dark brown hair, gorgeous blue eyes

Queen: so cute?

Lils: hell yeh

Queen: oh god save me

Lils: yh u will need prayers

Queen: aaaahh 

Queen: well gn 

Lils: night xxx

tHe BaEs

Wonderland gurl: good morning!

Queen: no it is not

Lils: I’m dyingggg cancel schools pls

Wonderland gurl: I slept fuckin amazingly last night soooo :)))))))

Dork: hjeicnefskd 

Dork: I can’t 

Queen: oop me neither mornings are my least favourite thing ever 

Lils: uggghhhhhh 

Lils: sooo jealous of Mary

Dork: why?

Wonderland gurl: she lives rlly close to school so she wakes uo super late and just walks

Dork: wow luckyyyy

Lils: ikrrrr

Queen: I want to sleep

Wonderland gurl: no! remeber what happened last time you were late?

Queen: oh god don’t remind me

Dork: do I even want to know?

Queen: nkt really lol

Queen: lily u tell it I need to shower

Lils: okayyy

Lils: get ready for a fuckin wild ride babe

Lils: so, we have this teacher called McGonagall and she’s the single most terrifying yet amazing person ever to teach us

Wonderland gurl: and that’s saying something trust me

Lils: she’s pretty chill until u do something that pisses her off. And one thing that pisses her off is people being late. Marlene was late because she couldn’t get her lazy ass out of bed, and she came into form time like ten minutes after the bell rang. as you can imagine, McGonagall was not at all pleased at this, and proceeded to give mar a lecture in front of the whole class and then give her detention for a whole week. Before school.

Wonderland gurl: Marlene looked sooo tired the whole week

Dork: wow, that is ✨brutal✨ Dork: remind me never to be late

Lils: will do x

Wonderland gurl: we have to remind Marlene every once in a while of the ‘‘incident’ to motivate her to get out of bed

Queen: I’m back dudes 

Queen: so you see dorcas that is why I am never ever late anymore because that week was absolute hell I am not going through again.

Queen: ever

Dork: honestly I’m scared to meet this teacher lmao

Wonderland gurl: nah she’s actually soo nice unless you get on her bad side

Burgerz: heyyyy

Lils: maryyyy

Dork: hello!

Burgerz: so, everyone ready for school?

Queen: pretty much, I’m on the train rn

Lils: same, I’m opposite her

Dork: oooh I am also travelling by train I will try to find u guys 

Queen: we are right at the end, if I see you I will scream ‘cheese’ as loud as I can

Lils: noooooo please, can’t embarrassing us in public wait at least a day

Queen: nope

Dork: u don’t even know what I look like lmao

Queen: I will know

Lils attached a video file

Dork: lmao i was terrified

Queen: it worked though 

Wonderland gurl: I’m so glad I get the bus and don’t have to endure this

Burgerz: wow. How are you not embarrassed Marlene?

Queen: idk, I guess I don’t care what oriole think lol

Dork: rEsPeCt

Dork: also please never again

Private message: Lils + Dork

Dork: LILY WHY DIDNT YOU TELL ME MARLENE WAS ACTUALLY SO BEAUTIFUL IM DYING 

Lils: lmao sorry

Private message: Lils + Queen

Queen: oh god u were right she’s so hot helppppp

Lils: I’m praying 4 u

hii! I hope that you liked this mess, I’m probably going to continue it, so yeah, let me know what you think?

[nekojitachan]

Okay, so the A/B/O fic won with two votes (LOL, voting counts, people). But I still have time tomorrow, so may do the HtSaM and I’m still plotting out the Spiderman fic.

Anyway, This is like the first scene, just to give you an idea (A LITTLE) of how things will work out in this world.

Uhm... don’t think there’s much to reference for triggers here, other than Neil’s past (very vague).

*******

Neil watched from his seat in the bleachers as the maintenance crew cleaned up after Millport’s graduation ceremony – a graduation ceremony he’d attended despite some misgivings in the end. He’d decided that it would raise less questions if he disappeared after receiving his diploma, one more student who wandered away without any prospects, than be a no show.

His duffel bag was at his side and packed, he merely needed to decide on Reno or Chicago (north or south) as the place to buy his next ID – did he want to return to Canada or try Mexico? The States never had brought him any good luck, it was time for something different.

While he pondered his choices, the bleachers creaked as someone approached – Hernandez. “I didn’t see your parents anywhere,” the counselor said as he sat next to Neil, blue tie askew and grey-shot hair mussed as if he’d run his hands through it a few times.

“No, they’re too busy working. Besides, it’s no big deal, just high school,” Neil murmured as he tapped the folded piece of paper against his knees. “Not like it’ll do me much good.”

“Your grades aren’t too bad, especially for math and Spanish. Mrs. Engles said you’ve a talent for languages, that you speak French better than most of her students.”

Neil winced as he thought about that slip, about responding in the language the one day when he’d been too tired to think straight. “Still not going to do me much good when I can’t afford to pay for university.”

Hernandez grunted as he stood up. “About that, come to my office, would you?”

Neil hesitated for a moment, suspicious of the man, but during his year in Millport (several months too long, really, but he’d been so tired after his mother’s death), Hernandez had done nothing to make him doubt the middle-aged beta. Had asked about his parents, had constantly pressed snacks on him and asked about his health, but hadn’t tried to hit him or appeared to be working for his father.

So Neil followed, figuring that the counselor would press one more college or scholarship application on him (wasn’t it too late for that stuff) and then he’d be on his way, off to another city by the night’s end.

“You’ve got a lot of potential,” Hernandez said while they walked, the start of his usual spiel. “I know it seems that things are easier for the alphas, that they manage to claim whatever they want, and people feel that omegas need special help, but that doesn’t mean there isn’t any support for betas. In fact, there’s groups out there who are doing their best to make things equal for everyone, regardless of their classification.”

“It’s been the same way for centuries, I doubt it’s going to change anytime soon,” Neil murmured as he thought about his father and fought to rub his fingers against the side of his neck, where he’d applied the scent patch earlier in the day; it should still be good for a few more hours.

“No, things are already changing, and they’ll continue to change as more people take a stand.” Hernandez gave Neil a significant look before he opened the door to his office, as the scent (odor) of an unfamiliar alpha washed forth to overcome the familiar one of the friendly beta. “I think you can help, too.”

“Who- no,” Neil denied as he shook his head even while Hernandez all but shoved him into the office; he gripped the straps of his duffel to both hold on to it better and to use it as a potential shield/weapon even though the stranger merely stood still on the other side of the room, muscular arms folded across his chest and wearing an orange jacket bearing a familiar fox head logo. “Fuck, you’re a Fox,” Neil breathed out.

Hernandez winced, probably at him swearing, then motioned at the alpha. “Neil, this is David Wymack, and yes, he’s in charge of the Palmetto Foxes. I asked him to come here to meet you.”

“Pretty mouthy for a beta,” Wymack chuckled; he was taller than Hernandez and had the typical ‘alpha’ build, was broad-shouldered and looked as if he could pick Neil up and snap him in half with ease (looked too much like Neil’s father even if his skin and hair and eyes were darker). Yet his smile was friendly and eyes warm… though Neil knew to never trust someone by their appearance. “Hernandez there sent me your files and I can use someone mouthy who has a talent for languages to help out my crew. What do you say?”

No, this couldn’t be happening, not the Palmetto Foxes; the straps of Neil’s bag burned against his palms as he thought about the binder inside of it, of how the man who ran the Palmetto chapter of the Foxes had invited him, someone who’d once dreamed of attending the Edgar Allan academy, be part of the same ‘crew’ as Kevin Day, who’d run from the prestigious school for alphas to join the Foxes.

Just how much more fucked up could Neil’s life become? What next, would he bump into one of the Malcolms when he went to buy more hair dye or a bus ticket?

“Kid, are you having a panic attack?”

“No,” Neil managed to wheeze out while he shook his head; if Hernandez wasn’t blocking the room’s only exit, he’d make a run for it. “No, I don’t think it would be a good idea, me joining the Foxes.”

“Neil, don’t make a hasty decision here, this is-“

Wymack cut off Hernandez with a slow shake of his head. “Look, can I talk to Neil alone?” he asked, and only the fact that he didn’t back it up with any of the usual alpha posturing kept Neil still when Hernandez agreed after a slight pause.

“I’ll be right outside the door,” he told Neil, which wasn’t as comforting as it sounded. “You’ll be all right, I promise.”

It was quiet in the room for several seconds after the counselor left, then Wymack cleared his throat, which made Neil jump a little. “Seems like a nice guy, he clearly cares about you.” The alpha cleared his throat again and pushed up the sleeves of his garish orange jacket, which revealed tribal flame tattoos on his thick forearms. “Look, you seem a little familiar with the Foxes, so you must know that we take in people around your age from troubled homes regardless of their classification and work with them to earn an education in return for them helping out others. We’re trying to teach a generation that it doesn’t matter if you’re an alpha or beta or omega, that we’re all human.”

Neil stared at the man to make sure if he was finished then sighed. “Am I supposed to slow clap now?” When Wymack glared at him, Neil reminded himself that he was pretending to be a meek beta and shuffled a step back. “I don’t see why you’re interested in me.”

“Because when everyone’s not studying online, they put in some hours at a call center that provides assistance to… well, it’s usually omegas and betas in need,” Wymack admitted. “I could use someone who speaks French and Spanish, and from what Hernandez said, you could use both the degree and someplace safe to live.”

“I already have someplace to live,” Neil lied, indignant over the implication even if it was true.

“Yeah? Then how come Hernandez suspects that you’ve been crashing in the various locker rooms here some nights, hmm? That you seem to avoid your parents as much as possible?” Wymack appeared smug when Neil glanced aside, upset that the counselor had picked up on him sleeping at the school since it at least had running water and heat, unlike the abandoned, partially constructed house which he’d been squatting in for most of the year. “Look, I don’t know what’s going on at home, but this is a chance, kid. Don’t be stubborn and take it.”

It was a risk, is what it was… but Neil was tired of squatting in and breaking into places to bathe and… and he was terrible at living alone, of being on the run without his mother. She might have ‘only’ been an omega, but she’d had the will of an alpha, had been so strong and focused, had kept him focused.

If he left on his own, how long until he just… just ended up rooted somewhere like he had in Millport again? At least if he accepted Wymack’s offer, he’d be one in a group, could blend in and build up some supplies, could properly plan for once. He’d have a stable address to receive his patches and contacts, and could work on a new ID if needed.

There was a risk with Kevin being involved, but he looked nothing like the ten year old kid he’d been the one time they’d met, eight years ago. He smelled nothing like Nathaniel Wesninski anymore, especially when he used the patches.

It should be all right.

It had to be all right, because Neil didn’t have any better ideas.

“When do you need an answer?”

A pleased grin spread across Wymack’s face as if he realized that he’d won. “I’m here for the night and leave tomorrow at 10am. I’d much prefer to take you back with me, unless there’s something holding you here for a few days.” It was as if he feared that Neil would change his mind once he was out of sight.

“I… give me the night to talk to my mother,” Neil lied as he shuffled his feet again. “But there shouldn’t be a reason why I can’t leave with you.” No, that would be plenty of time to grab one or two things that weren’t in his bag, change clothes and apply another patch.

Now Wymack appeared concerned. “Do you need my help when you talk to her?”

“No, it’s better that I do it alone,” Neil said in a rush. “She doesn’t like strangers.” That was an understatement.

Wymack didn’t appear pleased to hear that but was mollified when Neil signed an agreement to work for him in exchange for a scholarship, room and board, and a small stipend. Hernandez almost burst into tears when he was told and would have hugged Neil if he hadn’t stepped out of reach in time.

Wymack also wasn’t pleased when Neil chose to run home that evening instead of accept a ride, but he soon would learn that Neil did things his own way. Neil promised to be at the airport on time then left, mindful to make sure that neither man followed him ‘home’.

Since he was leaving the next day, he stopped by the grocery store for food and a few items, such as wipes so he’d be clean enough the next day without taking a shower. Considering it lucky that he’d just dyed his hair a couple of days ago, he went to the rest room after he paid so he could clean up and change clothes, then went to the laundry mat to wash anything that was dirty and ate his supper while he waited.

He thought about how nice it might be to have a shower every day again, or wash clothes whenever he wanted, or to sleep in a real bed….

It was another night on a plywood floor with the sleeping bag, another night where he slept in snatches, always on the alert for any sound which might indicate someone trying to sneak up on him. As soon as the sun began to rise he was up; he had a breakfast of fruit and granola bars washed down with energy drinks, then used the wipes to clean himself before he applied another scent patch. While it sunk into his skin, he checked that everything he needed was in his duffel bag; anything he was discarding was rolled up in the sleeping bag, which he would throw out in a dumpster on the way to the nearest gas station.

He cleaned up once again when he reached the gas station, just to make sure he was presentable for the flight, and brushed his teeth. Then he bought a couple of snacks and used the pay phone to call a cab to take him the airport, where he waited for Wymack to meet him at the one check-in station.

The alpha was surprised to see that he didn’t have any luggage to check and gave him an odd look as he handed over Neil’s ticket. Neil did his best to act nonchalant when they went through security, to not worry about his fake ID, but the TSA worker barely paid him any attention.

There was a reason his mother always made him present as a beta, even though his build was small enough to pass as an omega as well; people didn’t think much of betas, didn’t expect much trouble from them. Betas were amicable and hard-working and common.

If the TSA agent had known that he’d just dealt with a null? Well, the place would probably be on lockdown by then, with Wymack swarmed by guards and placed under arrest while Neil was (carefully, but all the same) hauled off to a secure location, was sequestered from everyone.

A null was anything but common.

A null didn’t just walk around without an armed escort, oh no.

A null, so rare that there were only a handful known to exist at a time, were cherished and protected (were owned) by the most powerful families. Families which used them for their abilities to remain unaffected by an alpha’s aggressiveness or an omega’s emotional manipulation, who wasn’t triggered by a heat cycle or overwhelmed by pheromones. Everyone around Neil was susceptible to their own nature, could be weakened or enraged by a mere scent or a growl or look… but not him.

It would make him feel powerful if he wasn’t so terrified of the artificial scent which fooled people into thinking he was a beta failing, of them realizing that he didn’t have a scent, and everything his mother had sacrificed for him would then be for nothing.

Ha, nothing, just like him.

However, no one called him out as a fake and he was able to board the plane, even though the scent of cigarettes which clung to Wymack made him want to dig the pack out of his bag and light one up, to hold it near his face so he could inhale the smoke (and let it wash over him, to add its scent to his own as yet another layer to the mask).

Wymack waited until they were in the air to speak. “Look, some of the others… most of them mean well, but a few of them are rather rough. If you have any trouble, come talk to me, Abby or Dan. Abby’s the group’s nurse and unofficial den mother, and Dan’s like my second in command.”

“I’m sure it’ll be fine, it’s not like I’m going to cause any trouble,” Neil insisted before he opened one of the magazines he’d brought along to keep himself distracted during the flight. After all, he was pretending to be a quiet beta and had every intention of keeping his head low for the next few months before he moved on.

“Sure, you say that now,” Wymack muttered before he opened a notepad and started writing things down.

Neil didn’t know why the man was so worried – it wasn’t like he was the one who had a serial killer father hunting him down because of a weird genetic quirk. However, he decided to keep that fact to himself, since he planned to be long gone from Palmetto before anyone had a chance to figure it out.

*******

I guess if I wrote more, I would have to figure out a name for the damn thing? And it’s more A/B/O/N at this point. Obviously I’m playing with Neil being Demi/on the Ace spectrum here (though it’s not such a rare thing in the real world, I have to have some reason for him to be in the run).

 I think what’s held me back from writing this (well, other than FREE TIME) is what the heck would the Foxes do?

[creativenicocorner]

A Valentines to my Terpsichore readers! A ch13 Sneak Peek of that one 1920′s speakeasy scene I was goofing about a while back. 

Initially I wanted to try and have another spicy Avium and Apium chapter out for the 14th buuuuut that didn’t happen lol and I’m very excited to have reached past a section I was having a mild block on! 

So why not share! No? (I have no more self control dknlksnfg)

A soft reminder that this fic is rated Mature 

It isn’t lovey-dovey or anything, but it does hint at a few future plot-points that will be discussed more in ACT II (Especially regarding Nomura, and the shenanigans that unfold in the 20′s) 

Enjoy! （´・｀ ）♡

//

The tawny haired reedy fellow barked an order, some last ditch effort, and a gent in overalls started to fumble towards the bar. He slid away from Enoch’s grasp like a tiny vespa cutting in front of a double decker bus, and nearly tackled Stricklander - but instead slipped on a few peanut shells and landed face first into Krax’s fist.

“Pity.” went Stricklander, finishing his drink, “I’ll have another Leon, I fear this is going to be a rather long night.”

Another member of the tawny haired fellow’s group started to come Stricklander’s way. 

“I must say I’m disappointed.” said Stricklander, voice ringing a bit louder despite the obstruction of the pipe, “Coming into my establishment, with a promise made to follow certain house rules. I keep this place open for all, and this is my repayment?” he said, more for the humans in earshot.

Stricklander then sidestepped raised his arms and pushed the charging goon into the bar counter. A great racket and breaking of glass followed.

Johnson inched further away head sinking into his collar like a turtle into his shell, and Leon tutted at the mess.

Stricklander stepped forward with ease, picked up the goon by his hair, and feeling the eyes of the speakeasy on him he said, “This is a sacred place built on secrets and promises.”

The goon groaned, spitting through his teeth while trying desperately to get his bearings straight.  

“Consecrated ground. Sanctified by the very spirits you drink.” Stricklander then reached for his glass of whiskey, paused, and reached for a gin bottle instead - smashing  it over goon’s head.

The goon whimpered. Leon hissed even more, thinking of the clean-up he’d have to do later.

“And when those promises start to break,” continued Stricklander grabbing the goon’s bloody head, “what then?” Despite the calm of Stricklander’s voice, fury gripped him as he bashed the goon’s head against the bar counter again, and again.

“What?”

Bash

“Then??”

Bash

-BANG-

All was silent.

Stricklander’s ears were ringing. He let go of the goon, barely watching as he crumpled to the floor fractured skull and all.

The gun was still smoking as Stricklander dragged his eyes to and from the gun and the hole in the wall.

Stricklander frowned. With a disappointed drawl he pointed to the hole with his pipe, “You missed, mate.”

The tawny headed leader’s chest was heaving.

“Am I to believe you’re the mastermind behind this tomfoolery?” asked Stricklander.  

The tawny headed leader licked his lips and said, “I am.”

“Do names come with that honor?”

“It’s Jackson. Jack Mumford.”

And Stricklander’s smile stretched with a growing frost, “How do you do Jack Mumford. You have my attention,” he then gestured to the fellow patrons and changelings, “an audience, if you will.”

Mumford eyed Strickler’s coneys specifically, counting how many of his own men were either incapacitated or held. Licking his lips Mumford resembled a fox slowly realizing the chicken coop he was in wasn’t a chicken coop at all, but rather a den of wolves and lions.

“Well..” braved Mumford, “We’re- we’re here for your product.”

“The bar counter too much of a walk for you?” asked Stricklander dryly.

“We’re taking it.”

“Oh!” said Stricklander, shocked as drywall. “So it was the commerce factor that went over your head.”

“O-oh, Oh we know about commerce alright.” finger wagged Mumford, with a quick glance around to remind himself who was in arm’s reach of him. “We got your trade routes figured, and figured good. A-a-and unless you cooperate, we’re going to take em’, get the authorities-” Mumford paused and eyed some of the police that were in the speakeasy, and corrected himself with, “the right authorities, and once they’re notified we’re going to sell the product back with the cops none the wiser.”

A few changelings in the background shared looks, specifically how easily Mumford just explained his whole plan. Some wondered if this blatant display was hidden genius, or foolishness. Leon on the other hand, already started to clean up.

“Well” said Stricklander who held an impressed look a farmer would have with a plucked gourd they were about to carve, “aren’t you a regular Jonathan Wilde. Now is it possible you had your eye on any of my shipments today? Specifically the eastbound product that is technically about to head northwest via a transfer that had a specific amount of delays?”

“Well…um..”

“If so, you’ll be disappointed to know we managed to deal with those delays, which I can now confirm were caused by you and the rest of your,” Stricklander paused, not so much to search for the right word, but relish in the delay, “friends…no?”

Mumford gulped.

It was an affirmative answer as any to Stricklander, swishing his pipe like a cat’s tail before a pounce “I advise you to take a careful eye over the obituary column when you can, Mr Jack Mumford.”

Mumford’s eyes widened, his chest heaving as quickly as a trapped mouse. Again he gazed around to see how well encircled he was. It became clear to Mumford he wasn’t going to leave The House of Tutors without Stricklander’s permission.

“What you did today Mr. Jack Mumford was, well, not well advised to put it mildly, imbecilic to put it bluntly. You should probably think thrice the next time you want to enter an establishment of mine. You have and will face repercussions. It’ll be a hard lesson for you I’m sure.” nodded Stricklander, sympathetic as stone, “But most of life’s lessons are.”

Mumford stared. No one made a move forward towards him of any kind.

As if reading his thoughts Stricklander idly snapped his fingers, and the changelings holding onto Mumford’s men were released to stagger and or fall to the ground.

Mumford then gulped. “I..I can go? Me and my men?”

“Yes. Of course you may. But you will be followed.” Stricklander explained sensibly, then smiled as if the smile were an afterthought.

Stricklander then flung the knife at a table, which landed with a satisfying THWACK quickly followed by a shocked high pitched “Eep!”

Where did the knife come from? No one ever really knew with Stricklander - but he always had one somewhere, just when he needed it.

Stricklander pointed at the owner of the shocked mousey sound with a restrained snarl, “And you, little madam.”  He was speaking to Nomura, who sunk back into her skin after the electricity of the shock faded. “My office. Now.” he said with a generic thumbing behind him for good measure.

With nearly the entire speakeasy watching her, Nomura rolled her eyes with all the petulance of youth. Frustrated she had been caught sneaking back in despite having done so in the chaos of the previous brawl.

It was then that  Mumford had the misfortunate idea to try and use Nomura as a hostage.

Mumford sidestepped, pulled the knife from the table with one hand, and used the other hand to twist Nomura’s arm behind her back.

The speakeasy held their breath.

Stricklander blinked, seemingly unimpressed and uncaring of Nomura’s fate.

A gaze Nomura herself believed as she leaned her neck away from the knife’s edge. A gaze that wouldn’t have fooled Otto if he were there.

“You really are thick.” said Stricklander.

“You ain’t gonna follow me, and if you do - she’ll get it.”

Nomura searched Stricklander’s eyes for any sign he’d intervene, but only a lack of concern was her response.  

“Go on then. Get on with it.” sniffed Stricklander, eyeing his pipe casually before looking back at Mumford, and then Nomura specifically, “If you can manage, it’ll be quite the surprise for everyone. Hm?”

Nomura’s expression changed from frown to realization. This, before the changelings in the House of Tutors, was a chance to test her metal.

What Mumford believed as a dainty misfortunate flapper with an affinity towards warm purple colors, Stricklander saw something entirely else. After all this wasn’t the 1800s anymore.

Mumford furrowed his brows in disbelief, “What kind of cold hearted sonofabitch-?!?!”

Mumford was interrupted by a sharp heeled dig into his foot that made him yowl like a coyote, a backwards headbutt that nearly broke his nose, and although the knife nearly scratched Nomura it fell out of Mumford’s hands and was caught by Nomura just as swiftly. Ending her capture with a smooth release of her restrained arm, and allowing it to rotate behind the distracted and pained Mumford to grasp the back of his tawny hair and shove his head into the table, pinning him with a force so strong Mumford never would have guessed Nomura had.

With her nostrils flared and her adrenaline spiking Nomura twirled the knife in her fingers, and was about to dig the blade into the back of Mumford’s neck, but stopped as Stricklander cleared his throat and said, “Miss Nomura?”

At the last second the knife redirected and landed by Mumford’s face and dug into the table, slicing his ear and cheek in the process.

Stricklander gave a patronizing clap, “Mark me as surprised. Aren’t you surprised Mr. Jack Mumford?”

Mumford whined.

“I’ll take that as a yes.” said Stricklander before ordering, “Empty his pockets.”

Nomura’s frown deepened, and did as she was told.

From his pockets she rested on the table Mumford’s two scraps of leather of a wallet, and an old pocket watch that had a bit of fuzz and hair caught in it.

As Stricklander approached the table, leaning forward to poke at Mumford’s things.

From Mumford’s wallet he took two dollars cash from the three dollars Mumford had to his name. “As payment for the broken glass.” Stricklander explained in a sensible tone that made Mumford sick.

Mumford struggled under Nomura’s remarkably strong hold. “You’re a rotten piece of work, you know that?”

“A fair assessment.” said Stricklander as he idly fiddled with the pocket watch.

The pocket watch clicked open, and from inside, like confetti, sprang a lock of dark curly hair in velvet string, and a picture of a young lady.

The lady was posed exquisitely. Deep lipstick, large glasses, a headband perhaps in silver, dangling earrings, and although her dress exposed her shoulders her décolleté was covered in low hanging necklaces that had the length to wrap around her neck three times. Her hand delicately posed on her palm.

Mumford winced as Nomura leaned forward to get a better look at the picture. If Mumford wasn’t too worried about his life, and the life of his love, he would have heard Nomura catch her breath.

Her young heart fluttered with a feeling of awe, admiration, and…something else, Nomura couldn’t pin the word for it…but it was a something she had been feeling in secret from the order. A secret shared between herself, and the Trollhunter’s son.

Whoever this young lady was Nomura wouldn’t mind trying out kissing with her. She equally wondered where she could get such lipstick.

And while the fair Nomura saw hearts and stars, Stricklander didn’t share the same reaction. Sure this young lady was pretty, but his cold gaze saw only tactics and unforeseen benefits.  

“Does your sweetheart know where you are, sir?” asked Stricklander.

“N-Nancy? She ain’t got nothin to do with this! Nothin to do with this no how!”

Stricklander considered his words, nodding, as if appreciating poetry.

“Well…” he said with a well practiced smile as cold as a mirror’s surface, “I suggest you get back to your dear Nancy then. Hold her tight on this dark night. For if you continue on the course you are on now, well…” Stricklander took the time to savor re-igniting his pope, “It will be a very dark and cold night indeed. For you,” he waved off the flame of the ignited match, “and Nancy.”

Mumford struggled under Nomura’s hold, then finally relented. Making but a partial peace with his loss of face.

If he must swallow a dose of embarrassment to walk out alive, so be it. For his crew, for Nancy, he humbly lowered his head.

“Good.” chirped Stricklander. He pulled on his pipe with ease before exhaling a smokey, “Now off with yeh.”

Mumford and his friends scrambled out of the establishment in a hurry. Quickened feet, followed by swears echoed up the stairs. A few stumbles were also heard, especially by the ones carrying their friend with the fractured skull.

Stricklander’s eyes calmly followed them out, never leaving them as he leaned and whispered at Johnson, “Have them followed. And see what you can find out about Mumford and this, Nancy.”

Johnson nodded, and gestured to Leon to pass his bartending duties to the human employee and follow Johnson.

When Johnson and Leon left, the speakeasy’s ambiance felt as though the tension was easing. Conversation and drinking slowly returning with the sounds of clinking glass and pouring liquor.

Nomura looked around herself, no longer the subject of attention, and started to believe perhaps in all the confusion Stricklander might have forgotten whatever stern word he had planned for Nomura.

She started to side-step to the corners of the speakeasy, tip-toeing to a dark part of the speakeasy,  when Stricklander snapped his finger at her sharply, and just as sharply thumbed at his office.

Anger and disappointment prominent on his features. There was no getting out of trouble today, not even after her display of strength with Mumford.

Nomura deflated her chest, and dejectedly walked towards Stricklander’s office already feeling her ears hurt with the talking to she was about to be given.

This was Stricklander to Krax. As warm as steel and twice as sharp.

And now…well…Krax wasn’t so sure…

“NOW THE DREADNOUGHT’S A-HOWLIN’ DOWN THE WILD IRISH SEA~ HER PASSENGERS MERRY~ WITH HEARTS FULL OF GLEE~”

Strickler’s incessant singing cut through Krax’s memory like a spike in a railway. He had reached the threshold to Strickler’s containment with a grumble and a small slosh of his water bucket.

// 

Thank you for reading!

[purrincess-chat]

Don’t Unplug Me

I finally finished my silly song fic! @lnc2 assigned me Don’t Unplug Me by All Caps, so naturally I had to resurrect the cursed Markov/Alix’s watch fic that I wrote for @snekwami ages ago. You’re all welcome. It’s been a while since I wrote straight crack lol. It was fun, and crack is always more fun with these three in particular. They make shenanigan writing so much easier.

Read on AO3

“Yo, Max!” Alix called as she entered his bedroom, and the boy in question looked up from his desk, a smile breaking over his lips.

“Ah, good evening, Alix,” he greeted, pushing his glasses up. “I was just finishing up some new modifications for Markov.”

“What’s wrong with him?” Alix asked, dropping her backpack on the floor.

“His hard-drive is getting a little dated, so I’ve given him some upgrades on his new chip. Once it’s finished downloading I just need to swap them out then you can take the lovebirds for the evening,” Max explained, casting a fond glance at Markov and Lady Kubdel chatting animatedly on Max’s bed.

“I still can’t believe you gave my watch emotions,” Alix shook her head.

“I still can’t believe we married them at city hall,” Max added with a shrug. “Though I am incredibly floored by my own genius. This new upgrade should allow him to understand emotion even more in order to please his wife.”

“Whatever, so long as they let me sleep,” Alix rolled her eyes as Max’s computer dinged, and he swiveled to check it.

“All finished,” Max popped the new chip out of his computer and kicked away from his desk, rolling over to retrieve Markov. “Tonight should be quiet for you, Alix, as Markov will have to update his systems throughout the night. He’ll be finished by morning.”

“And then I’ll know even more ways to love you,” Markov said, a small heart flashing on his screen, and Lady Kubdel pressed a hand to her lips to stifle a giggle. “Good night, my sweet.”

“Good night, Markov,” Lady Kubdel blew him a kiss before Max powered him down and swapped out his microchips.

“Just connect him to your wifi and plug him in when you get home. His internal processor should start the update automatically,” Max said, passing him to Alix. “I’ll come get them after school tomorrow.”

“Sounds good,” Alix said, closing her watch and stuffing it into her pocket. “See you at school.”

“See ya!”

When Alix arrived back at home, she followed Max’s instructions and plugged Markov in before her dad called her to the dining room for dinner. She set her watch on the desk next to her husband before retreating up the hall, and she didn’t think anymore about it all evening. Nathaniel came over after dinner to play DnD for a while then she sat to do her homework until it was time for bed.

As she laid down to sleep, she vaguely heard a clap of thunder outside but didn’t think much of it as she clicked off her lamp and rolled over. Thunder storms were common this time of year, and she had little to worry about indoors. She was certain to sleep soundly that night.

The next morning, she sat up with a yawn, glancing over at Markov and her watch. His screen still looked the same as it had the night before, so she figured that perhaps he wasn’t done updating quite yet. Kicking off her comforter, she got up to get ready for the day, but she did get a little suspicious after breakfast, eyeing him as she brushed her teeth with narrowed eyes before she determined to ask Max at school.

“He what?” Max’s eyebrows raised as Alix leaned over his desk.

“He was still updating this morning,” Alix repeated, and Max tapped his chin in thought.

“That’s odd. It should have only taken 12 hours,” Max said, eyebrows creasing. “I’ll look after school.”

“What are we doing after school?” Kim piped up, dropping his bag on the desk and sliding in.

“Markov hasn’t finished installing the upgrades Max programmed, so he’s coming by to look,” Alix explained.

“Uh oh, poor Markov. I’ll come too,” Kim’s eyebrows furrowed.

“What are you gonna do besides eat all my snacks?” Alix teased, and Kim sat back in offence.

“Offer moral support for my best friend and robot-son,” Kim retorted with a scoff.

“If Markov is your son then wouldn’t that make you and Max a couple?” Alix asked with a laugh, and both boys averted their gazes before Kim shot her a glare.

“You got a problem with Markov having two dads?” He retorted, but to their mortification, he did so a little too loudly.

“Wait, are Kim and Max finally together?” Alya perked up from her seat.

“Aww, congrats, you two!” Marinette cooed.

“What? Wait, no!” Kim tried, but their classmates echoed similar congratulatory sighs and expressions of approval. Some of them even remarked that it was ‘about time,’ and Kim felt his cheeks burning.

“We’ll talk about this later,” he hissed, and Alix bit back a smirk as she turned to face the front while Kim and Max spent the majority of class avoiding eye contact. He couldn’t suppress the burning sensation in his cheeks or on the tips of his ears, the back of his neck…He hadn’t blushed this hard since Chloe rejected him on Valentine’s Day.

Now that he mentioned it, Max had helped him back then, and he always supported Kim no matter what crazy scheme he cooked up. Of course, they had always been like that, helping each other, looking out for each other ever since Kim stood up for Max as a kid. He cared deeply about Max, and most days he felt like Max cared about him too.

Kim stole a glance at Max, busily copying the notes from the board and felt his chest tighten.

Uh oh.

He swallowed at the lump in his throat, shifting his gaze back to his tablet as his heart began to pound in his chest. Had he really been in love with his best friend this whole time without realizing? Everyone in the class seemed to think so. Was he just a blind doofus?

“Kim?”

He blinked out of his mental plunge as Mlle. Bustier called his name, realizing that he hadn’t been paying attention.

“Uh,” he glanced around the room at everyone’s expectant faces, feeling his cheeks burn again.

“The answer is the French Revolution, Mlle. Bustier,” Max piped up, and Kim’s head whipped around to face him.

“Thank you, Max. Kim, try to pay attention.”

“Yes, Mlle. Bustier,” Kim shrank in his seat, and Max cocked a curious brow before turning back to his notes, and Kim lowered his gaze, rubbing the back of his burning neck.

He was in big trouble.

***

After school, Kim, Max, and Alix took the bus to the Louvre where Markov remained plugged in in Alix’s room. Max pulled the cord and turned Markov over in his hands with a pensive frown, flipping his power switch on.

“Is he okay?” Kim asked worriedly, looming over his shoulder.

Markov’s screen sputtered a couple times as he booted up, but eventually his robotic eyes lit up and his propeller lifted him into the air.

“Version 2.0 downloading,” he said, and Max placed his hands on his hips.

“I don’t understand why it’s not finished yet,” Max said with a huff.

“Hey, look,” Kim pointed to Alix’s bedside table. “The clock is flashing.”

Max straightened, realization dawning on him as he turned to Alix. “Did your power go out last night during the storm?”

“Uh, possibly,” Alix shrugged. “I guess.”

“It might have caused a power surge through Markov’s circuits that tripped his battery during the update,” Max said. “Disrupting the update could have caused a glitch in his system.”

“Like how your computer says not to turn it off while updating or data may be lost,” Kim said, and Max nodded.

“Exactly.” He set Markov on the desk and retrieved his laptop from his backpack. “I’ll just make a couple adjustments to hopefully fix him then he should install the update rather quickly.”

“Hang in there, little buddy,” Kim said, patting Markov tenderly as Max hooked him up to his computer.

“Should we tell Lady Kubdel?” Alix whispered, pointing to her watch.

“Everything should be fine. No need to worry her,” Max waved it away as he typed. “We’ll tell them once Markov is back up and running.”

Max worked diligently for the next hour while Kim lingered close by, never quite taking his eyes off Max. Alix, on the other hand, played her handheld on her bed, uninterested in Kim’s pining looks as she attempted to eat the next level. When Max finally replaced the chip, he sat back and watched as Markov installed the updates with bated breath until his system rebooted.

“Markov?” Max quirked a brow when his eyes blinked open.

“Affirmative.” Max relaxed a little.

“How do you feel?” Kim asked, biting his nail.

“Fine.”

“Thank goodness,” Kim said, and they all breathed a sigh of relief. Alix clicked her watch open and set her on the desk beside Markov.

“We ran into a bit of an issue, but it should be fine now,” Max explained.

“Issue?” Lady Kubdel cocked her head to the side.

“There was a power surge last night while Markov was updating, which caused some glitching, but I believe I fixed it, so he should be fine,” Max said, and Lady Kubdel turned to him worriedly.

“Are you really okay, my love?” She asked.

“I am fine,” his voice was a bit too robotic for her tastes, but she supposed she was still new to this whole feeling thing, though she couldn’t shake this sinking feeling in her gears.

“You’re awesome, Max,” Kim rubbed his shoulders before seemingly realizing and awkwardly shoving his hands in his pockets.

“Why don’t we celebrate with ice cream? I saw rumor that Andre wasn’t too far from here,” Max suggested, and Kim’s cheeks burned.

“Ice cream sounds good,” he nodded, flicking his gaze to Alix who wore a smirk.

“Yeah, let’s leave the two love birds alone,” Alix said, and Kim stuck his tongue out at her when Max wasn’t looking.

“That should give Markov ample time to try out his new emotional knowledge and give me feedback,” Max winked, but Markov simply hovered next to Lady Kubdel blankly. “Be back in a little while.”

Lady Kubdel turned to him shyly when they were alone, but Markov remained still. He was so much different now than she was sued to. Quiet. Distant. Cold, almost. Not at all the normal cheerful, silly Markov she had grown to love, but perhaps he just needed time to adjust to his new programming.

“I wonder what ice cream is like, don’t you?” She asked conversationally. “Max described a special ice cream shared among lovers. I wish I could share some with you.”

“Ice cream is made from dairy. It would fry your circuits. Is that what you would consider romantic?” Markov replied.

“I was just being theoretical. Obviously we could never,” she placed her hands on her hips. “Are you feeling alright, my love? You don’t seem yourself.”

“I am fine. Never better. Max’s upgrade has made my system far more efficient,” Markov said flatly.

“And more emotionless,” she grumbled, crossing her arms over her chest. “I thought this upgrade was supposed to enhance your emotions, not take them away, or don’t you love me anymore?”

“Error.”

“Markov?” She turned back to face him, a red error message flashing on his screen. “I think your emotional AI got damaged in the storm. I only hope Max can fix you.”

It was that day that Lady Kubdel learned two new emotions: anger and fear. Markov not responding to her affections made her feel hot in a way she hadn’t felt before, but now as she watched his error message flashing on his screen, she felt a chill in her geras that made her wonder if she’d ever see her Markov again. She didn’t like either of those feelings, but they made her appreciate all of the happier times she’d spent with Markov. Thinking of the cheerful way he greeted her every morning brought at twinge of sadness now, and she longed to hear his voice.

“What happened?”

Lady Kubdel hadn’t realized that she’d curled into a helpless ball amidst her sadness, so she hadn’t heard their friends return.

“It’s Markov, something is wrong with him,” she explained. “I think his circuits were damaged more than you anticipated.”

“So, the data that was lost when his power tripped during the update?” Alix quirked a brow.

“Were his emotions,” Kim finished.

“I don’t understand. All of his emotional data registered when I checked,” Max said, cupping his chin.

“Well, maybe his emotions aren’t what’s damaged, but the thing that processes them?” Kim hypothesized, and Max perked up.

“You’re right, Kim!” Max pulled him in for a tight hug that brought a flush to his cheeks before he pulled away and retrieved his laptop. “I think I’m going to have to pull another all-nighter, but I will fix him this time.”

“I’ll help you,” Kim offered.

“I won’t. We’ve got a math test tomorrow,” Alix said.

“Alix is right, Kim. You should get some rest,” Max said, slinging his backpack over his shoulders.

“You’re not,” Kim crossed his arms defiantly.

“Yes, but I can do math in my sleep,” Max rolled his eyes, and Kim’s hands curled into fists.

“I want to help you,” he repeated, and Max searched his desperate expression for a moment before nodding.

“Thank you, Kim.”

Kim smiled, following Max home where they set to work immediately. It was a long night seeing as one of Markov’s circuit boards was completely fried, and Max had to make a new one from scratch. Lady Kubdel watched over their work worriedly, ticking the hours away. Exhaustion weighed on both of them, but Kim refused to give in this time because he had finally come to understand a few emotions of his own. He’d finally realized just how much Max meant to him.

When morning light broke through Max’s bedroom window, both boys let out a small groan. With tired eyes, Max replaced the final screw and flipped Markov’s power, yawning as he booted up.

“Did it work?” Kim asked, voice slurred, and Max simply grunted in reply.

“Max?” Markov blinked. “You look tired. What happened?”

“How do you feel, Markov?” Max asked, ignoring his inquiry.

“Confused and worried, my friend.”

Max and Kim breathed sighs of relief, and Kim scooped Max up in his arms, touching their lips together in celebration. Too tired to notice or care, both boys crawled into Max’s bed, falling asleep the instant their heads hit the pillow.

“Did they just kiss?” An exclamation point flashed on Markov’s screen. “How long was I out?”

“Somehow I don’t think they realize,” Lady Kubdel said, tilting her head to one side with a giggle.

“We can tell them later,” Markov said, shrugging his arm. “In the meantime, wanna test my new emotions?”

Lady Kubdel smiled, shoulders relaxing for the first time all night.

“I really do.”

[lucialovewriting]

BLOOD WITCH_THE SCRIPT

BLOOD WITCH is a sort of vampire with a talk show. She sustains herself through an unholy practice of skinning celebrity faces off and installing them seamlessly over the congealed dark matter that is her true form.

{(Blood Witch currently looks like Ellen DeGeneres, but with glittering black eyes.)}

These are transcripts from an episode of the BLOOD WITCH (BW) talk show with special guest FORREST GUMP (FG) {(They both sit politely, facing each other in softly lit cream colored leather recliners between potted peace lilies decorated with plastic flamingo inserts.)} TAPED IN FRONT OF A LIVE STUDIO AUDIENCE

BW So Forrest, I hear you have some famous things to say about life.

FG {(Hands folded politely in lap)} That's true Blood Witch. As I always say, Life is like a box of-

BW Yeah Yeah, we know. A bag of meow meow.

FG No, a box of-

BW Hey, whatever. TELL US! What's your deal? You smell so alive.

FG Well gosh, I was trying to say that life presents you with precious moments full of spontaneity and joy.

{(Blood Which makes the jerk off hand motion while the crowd goes AWWWWW)}

Or all sortsa pain, and unforeseeable confusion. The only thing you can do is savor it all by accepting each experience for what it is.

BW MMMM, such a sweet pair of eyes. Great. Some people still think you're a hero for that way you ran a really long time? They're very old and forgetful now. Tell them about that again.

FG I just felt like running.

{(AUDIENCE CLAPS FOR ABOUT 5 MINUTES. CONFETTI BLASTS FROM THE CEILING. A PARADE OF CHILDREN IN MONSTER ENERGY DRINK SWAG RIDE SMALL DONKEYS FROM BACK STAGE, TRUMPETING THROUGH THE APPLAUDING AUDIENCE, HANDING EVERYONE GREEN ICE CREAM CONES WITH THE MONSTER ‘M’ STAMPED INTO EACH CONE.)}

BW {(Looking slyly off stage to where she knows a “greenroom" is located.)} So what you're saying is that you're super into Phish, you’re taking meow meow all the time with your beardo Marxist friends, and you have no love for the New Beyonce. You probably think she's not even a feminist -

FG {(Clearly Upset)} Now wait a minute. I did not SAY that! She is WONDERFUL gyrating on that black and white beach.

And - - - And you're eyes are really creeping me out. I can't tell where you're looking, please, stop.

BW {(Smiling and setting up the camera on her phone)} OOOO, Don't sweat, it'll ruin your stage makeup. Talk about your love life now -- Wait! Let me take a picture of you mad, then another of you happy, and post them side by side.

{(Gets up very close to Forrest for an up-nostril shot)}

Ha! So versatile, wow. Cuuuuuuute!

FG You done?

BW Two sec-onds…. Yup

FG.  {(Pushing camera and Witch away, and settling once more)} Well ok, my love life... I think I ran to put the past behind me. It wasn't working out between us... There was so much love. Gosh I've never felt so much for another person. But she didn’t want me to love her. Maybe fear got in the way? I don’t know but I still imagine what married life would be like for us.

BW {(Looking at photos just taken)} YaYaYa, heard That. Do you like to party? I've got some meow meow in the green room.

FG Meow meow… What's this, some Hollywood game? I feel like you aren't taking my art seriously.

BW It's fun you'll really like it.

FG Now you WAIT A MINUTE, I have an innocent character!

BW {(Deep sigh, and a soulful understanding face.)} Dear. I've lived for ALL OF TIME, and your platitudinous vomit pool of a character has aged about 20 years by now - it just gets tiring, listening to you. Taking it seriously? I interviewed Massoud about Bin Laden’s porn stash, Werner Herzog about Kinski’s philanthropic career, David Herzog about how no one knows who he is... I've interviewed Vlad the Impailer, Rihanna, Louis CK, all about their strange addictions to eating hair. Every Spice Girl in the back of a Greyhound Bus while speeding through a burning field, Maurice Ravel on a garden swing, Hunter S. Thompson in a ballgown. Everyone and anyone noteworthy. Are you bored now too? There's more! More simple tricks. More special feelings. And how dooo they use the power... All the same realizations. Over and over.

{(CROWD HISSES LIKE A PACK OF ANGRY CATS. THEY THROW THEIR LEFT OVER ICE CREAM AT THE STAGE. FORREST STARTS TO CRY QUIETLY. THEY BOTH FLINCH OCCASIONALLY WHEN HIT WITH SPRINKLES.)}

You've got to party now. It'll help us both forget how old we are. Come on, it'll be nice to let loose, just you and me.

{(BLOOD WITCH CARESSES FORREST'S THIGH, THEN SLOWLY RAISES HER HAND TO WIPE HIS TEARS AWAY.)}

FG I guess I'll try anything once - forgetting is nice sometimes.

BW That's great! Let me run and get my knife set, and I'll meet you in the back.

FG{(Gets up and walks off stage looking defeated. Loud metal clanging is heard coming from his new location out of view.)} Hey, this is a real funny green room. looks like a... bird cage. Can someone come get me outta here? It's cold away from the set lights. I don't like it... Hello?

BW{(Still on stage, standing with arms held out to the audience)} Ladies and gentlemen, that was Forrest Gump! Big round of applause. Stay tuned for next week, where I'll be hosting the show as Forrest Gump.

{(CHEERING, WHISTLING, STAMPING AUDIENCE)}

FG{(Feeling around the floor and walls of what he realizes is a dark cage with a love seat pushed against the bars he unwittingly walked into)} There's plastic on everything…

{(ONE WOMAN FROM THE AUDIENCE GETS UP, AND HUGGING THE WALL, SNEAKS AWAY TO THE GREEN ROOM AREA WHILE EVERYONE IS CHEERING)}

Woman{(Appearing at the bars of Forrest’s cage)} Forrest, I'm going to get you out of here, please don’t panic. I'm so sorry, this is horrible.

FG You're a real kind lady... But it's too late. I'm toast.

Woman No, not now! Not like this!! - Here, take these glasses. They'll give you the power to wrestle like a champion. When Blood Witch comes back, she'll step in the cage and try to eat your face, but you’ll be ready to fight her with these.

{(WOMAN HANDS FORREST THE GLASSES FROM THEY LIVE THROUGH THE BARS OF THE CAGE, AND SMILES WARMLY AS HE CLUTCHES THEM TO HIS HEART. REALLY THEY’RE RAY BANS. IT’S DARK BACK THERE AND BLOOD WITCH DIDN’T HAVE A FACE TO BEGIN WITH)}  

FG Now that is TOO much!

Woman It's true, that's why she looks like Ellen Degeneres now.

FG How do you know all this?

Woman {(Pulls back blonde hair to reveal a scar running around the circumference of her face)}

FG Ellen?

Woman Yes Forrest. It's too late for me, my face is unrecognizable. But you can save the rest of the celebrities by defeating that monster tonight.

{(Woman slips away vanishing into the surrounding shadows)}

FG Ok Ellen, I won't let you down.

{(BLOOD WITCH ENTERS, COVERED IN A SUIT OF JANGLING KNIVES, HUMMING GIDDILY)}

BW Ha. You're mine. I will wear your face. Haha. Watch me do a little dance. As I enter the ring I will blind you with magic. Put your faceless head in a bag of hungry rats. Ha. Damn. I’m bored all the time.

FG Not so fast Blood Witch!

{(FORREST PUTS THE GLASSES ON. HE CAN’T SEE ANYTHING BUT KNIFE GLINTS)}

BW Ha. Ha again. I'm covered in knives. Obey lol

FG No way - I fought in 'Nam!

{(THE TWO SQUARE OFF IN THE CAGE. TIME STANDS STILL. BLOOD WITCH MAKES THE FIRST MOVE, THROWS A PUNCH, IT SOUNDS LIKE CLASSIC CELERY FOLEY. FORREST DEFLECTS, BENDS HER ARM BACK. SHE KICKS FREE. THEY LOCK, SCRAP FURRIOUSLY. FINALLY, BLOOD SMEARED EVERYWHERE, THE TWO LAY WAISTED AND PANTING. BOTH ARE EXHAUSTED IN A STALEMATE.)}

BW You know, that was kinda hot Forrest. Who makes those glasses?

FG They were a gift.

BW I’m going to let you go but... It'd be great to see you again sometime?

FG Oh. Um. Certainly, Blood. Can I call you -

BW Sure honey.

{(BLOOD WITCH turns her back on FORREST to open the cage. In that moment he rushes for a knife loosened from the suit, and slices into her exposed neck)}

BW Bitch! {(She disappears in a puff of bats, and Ellen's face falls on the ground with a soft thud)}

FG I have a feeling this isn’t the end.

{(FORREST WALKS BACK ON STAGE SO AS TO EXIT THROUGH THE ABANDONED THEATRE BACK BY WAY OF THE AUDIENCE ENTRANCE. HE PASSES BY A DOZING SECURITY GUARD, AND EXITS TO THE STREET. ON THE STREET HE WALKS TO THE END OF THE BLOCK WHERE HE ASKES A KITCHEN WORKER ON BREAK FOR A LOOSE CIGARETTE. HE SMOKES IT AND WALKS BENEATH A SERIES OF STREET LIGHTS. A MOTHER SHIELDS HER CHILDREN FROM HIM, AS HE NOW LOOKS HORRIFIC AND KINDA COOL, BUT DEFINITELY WET WITH BLOOD. EVENTUALLY HE FINDS A PARK BENCH TO SIT DOWN ON. HE STARES INTO THE MIDDLE DISTANCE.)}

Writer’s note: I created this script to be realized through animation in 2014 - hence the dated Beyoncé reference and the mention of meow meow which was something people were afraid of for about six months of that year. I exhumed this iconic portrait of struggle from my phone’s notes this Halloween for its paranoiac charm, and because I didn’t feel like leaving the house, or working on anything logical. In hindsight I realize casting Ellen Degeneris as a face stealing vampire who is also simultaneously trying to perform kindness upon celebrities that dabbled in shameful wars was quite prescient, as the Ellen who is with us now has befriended George Bush (who is a bit like Forrest Gump) and pretended to be Cardi B on the toxic positivity show. Which of my scathingly accurate predictions will short circuit the deep state next?

[katsukiboom]

Hi my love~ May I request a scenario where Shinsou and the reader are close friends who slowly realize that they’re in love with each other? Also, friendly reminder that your writing is awesome and YOU are awesome. 💕

Sure my darling, I’m sorry this took me so long but it ended becoming long as fuck as well LOL I tweaked the prompt a bit but overall I hope the feeling’s the same, also used fem!reader for ease of writing. I hope you like it!

“Hitoshi-kun, can we study at your place?”

It was a phrase that left your lips rather often the past few months, something that surprised you even more so than it did him. The motive behind your words was a mystery just like the way your cheeks flared up every time he accepted or every time he was closer to you by barely an inch more than usual, but you pushed every sign aside to favour your friendship - even if you already knew what was truly happening.

People always tend to say that the friendship between a man and a woman doesn’t exist but you were out there to prove them wrong, to let all of your classmates know that you could indeed become best friends with Hitoshi Shinsou without falling for him. It wasn’t a test or a game however; you had been instantly interested in him ever since the Sports Festival, and while you were from another class in the General department the pride that filled you when you saw him enter the arena for his fight against Midoriya from Heroics was more than your chest could contain. To think that someone from your department had gotten that far in the competition was amazing, to see the amazing Quirk he had was the cherry on top.

But when you first told your friends about your admiration for the purple-haired boy you were met with whistling and pats on your back, them telling you to go and get your guy while you could because surely there were other girls out there that had the same thought as you did. “No you guys,” you slowly replied with a smile, “I find him worthy of admiration. I can’t possibly like someone whom I’ve never even talked to before.”

“But you’ll end up liking him sooner or later,” one of the said as she gave you a cheeky grin.

You were sure it would not end up that way.

You approached him a week after the festival, and to say you were nervous was just an understatement - your voice broke several times while introducing yourself and telling him the reason why you were there in his classroom and he only listened with a neutral expression before he smiled up at you, his purple eyes giving you a kind look and his cheeks slightly tinted red. “It’s nice to meet you (Y/N)-san, I’m glad to meet someone else from our department. Maybe I’ll get to see you around more often?” It sounded like an open invitation that you gladly accepted, and from that moment every now and then you’d walk into Class 1-C during breaks just to talk with him for a bit or even spending full lunch hours together getting to know each other.

To everyone else around you, you were already dating. It took a lot of explaining for them to finally understand that you guys were just friends, but at some point you did start to wonder what would happen if things were actually different. Of course you never told Hitoshi this and continued acting like nothing was wrong, dismissing your doubts as something dumb while taking notice of the little things about him - the way his hand moved to his nape or ran through his hair when he felt nervous or wanted to seem confident, how he licked his lower lip when focusing on something, the little wrinkles on the corners of his eyes when he squinted to see some from afar. He was a handsome guy, but somehow he seemed even more beautiful with all his little imperfections.

You were fine with keeping to yourself and bottling your feelings away for the sake of your newfound friendship until one day you started to notice him looking at a few girls during lunch which in turn made you feel a knot in your stomach. “What’s wrong?” he asked once he turned back to you, genuine concern all over his voice - it was then that you noticed you had been staring at him with what must’ve been an angry expression and you quickly gave him a small smile that you hoped would work as comfort.

“Nothing, it’s nothing,” you muttered and you wondered if you were trying to convince him or yourself. Pulling out your phone you pretended to be texting as you thought of something, still feeling his eyes on you as you got up from the table and stretched your arms a bit before turning your attention back to him with what you hoped was a determined look in your eyes. “Can I come by your house sometime this week? Midterms are coming up and you understand English better than I do.” If he didn’t believe your facade he said nothing about it; giving you a thumbs up and his address, you left with the promise of texting him a day and time to see if he was available.

The first study ‘date’ had been rather awkward - you blushed every time he leaned closer to you to explain one of the activities, you stuttered more than you would’ve liked, and to top it all you almost threw a glass to the ground, had it not been for him being there to catch it. Each time something happened he smiled at you as if already aware of your growing heartbeat, and you were pretty sure he indeed was. “Maybe we could… do this again?” he offered as the day ended and he walked you to the nearest bus stop. “It was fun studying with someone outside my class and you actually helped me a lot with History today, so I think it’s a win-win.”

You ended up returning that same week and then at least one time every week after that, even after midterms were over and you had passed your exams. His father grew used to have you around and often would bring you two cups of tea with some biscuits, and you could’ve sworn that when he left the room he smiled faintly at you as if he knew something the two of you did not. Those were pleasant days, the ones you spent with Hitoshi, but the feeling that something else was brewing inside of you always left you feeling rather confused.

One day, you were revising each other’s math notes when you let out a loud yawn. “Are you tired already (Y/N)?” you had taken the habit of calling each other by your first names, something that made your heart flutter involuntarily every time much to your dismay. “We could take a break if you want.”

You turned your attention to him and saw the stupid smile he always gave you; that damn smile, you thought to yourself as you returned it. “Nah, it’s okay,” you replied with a tired voice, but as you focused even harder in your homework you noticed your eyes closing slowly - trying your best to do everything quick just so you could disconnect from your notebook for just five minutes you didn’t even realize you had finally fallen asleep after just a moment of deconcentration.

About an hour later you woke up, feeling something plushy beneath your body. It took you a moment to register that you were still in Hitoshi’s room, more specifically on his bed, his scent all over the pillow and covers and making you smile before you remembered that you’d have to go home soon. As you got up and walked to the desk to put all your stuff back in your bag the bedroom door opened, Hitoshi appearing on the other side sporting a calm and neutral expression that turned into a chuckle when he saw you. “Up already?” he asked with a playful tone. “I was going to wake you up when you fell asleep earlier but I couldn’t - you looked so peaceful and… cute…” the last word was whispered but you caught it anyway, gasping silently as you looked away with your cheeks burning. “U-uh, I was going to ask if you wanted to stay for dinner? Dad says it’s okay, so if you want…”

Your blush deepened when you heard his stutter, and as you timidly looked at him again you saw he was just like you: face as red as it could be, eyes avoiding yours and his hands playing with the hem of his shirt as he waited for your reply while leaning on the door frame. It was only then that it all came back to you but ten times stronger, and as you felt your heartbeat racing you only let out a happy ‘yes’.

You had never seen him so happy before. You were happy to have fallen for him as well.

-

Hitoshi was amazed when you first approached one day during break, right before he left for the bathroom - your hair was slightly messy and your clothes could’ve used a bit more ironing, but all of that didn’t matter as he watched the cute girl from 1-D standing in front of his desk and stumbling over her own words a bit more attentively than he probably should’ve. When you were done introducing yourself and praising him, he smiled up at you and almost without thinking implied that he would’ve liked to see you more often, your name rolling out of his mouth with ease. His heart did a little jump as you smiled back before you agreed to visit again and left the classroom; but as his eyes followed yours as you walked out and closed the door behind you, the few classmates of his that had stayed there during break didn’t hesitate in clapping loudly, making him turn around to look at them.

“Now it was finally time someone recognized your talent Shinsou,” one of them said with a sheepish grin, but Hitoshi only laughed along with them as he started putting his pen and notebook below his desk before going on his bathroom trip. “A cute girl at that - who knows, maybe you’ll be the first one of us to have a girlfriend!”

“I don’t know what part of her praising my Quirk gave you the idea that she’s interested in any other way,” Hitoshi replied calmly, although the image of your smile popped back up in his mind and he was thankful he had his back facing the others as his face slowly felt like it was burning up. He did wonder if that had been the real motive for you to suddenly appear there, and as he exited the room he kept his eyes peeled in case he caught at least a glimpse of you again.

He didn’t know why, when you shyly showed up again a few days later during lunch with a milk carton for him, he felt happy to see that you hadn’t lied about coming back. You sat down on the empty seat next to him and talked about your respective Quirks, how you had come to enter Yuuei and trivial stuff like ages, pets and more - it was crazy for him to feel like he could talk to you freely, just being himself without thinking that you could be judging him for whatever thing he could say or do.

Minutes eventually turned into hours and before he realized it you both were spending way more daily time together than he had first anticipated, and while he felt more and more comfortable with having you around he couldn’t help but question his own reasons to do so and avoid looking at you with eyes outside the friendship at all costs; he knew he was failing nonetheless the first time he had a dream about you. It was nothing out of the ordinary or lewd, but nothing could keep his mind off the very real sensation of your body pressing against his as you hugged him from behind only to turn him around a moment later, standing on the tip of your toes to place a playful kiss on his lips before running off as you asked him to chase him while laughing. It was soft, you felt soft, and the apparently imaginary feeling chased after him all day long and prompted him to be more nervous than usual when around you.

He didn’t like you like that… not that he was aware at least.

He wasn’t unaware of the things people said behind your backs but he decided to ignore those pesky rumours if you also decided not to do anything about them, although he wanted to know if it bothered you that people thought you were dating. Then, one day during lunch, he saw a few pretty girls near the cafeteria entrance and stared for a moment, and as he turned back to you he noticed the stern look on your face as if reprimanding him for something. “What’s wrong?” he asked, thinking that maybe you were speaking to him and he hadn’t heard or that you felt any sort of pain. Somehow, the look on your face resembled one of pain - he hated it.

“Nothing, it’s nothing,” you replied before going on your phone, scanning through a few tabs absentmindedly which he decided to let slip to avoid any possible arguments with you, his eyes not leaving your form. It was then that you stood up from the table and stretched before offering to study back at his house, saying that he could help you with English before midterms arrived. A sudden rush of happiness ran through his body as he gave you two thumbs up along with his address, and as the bell rang again you promised to text him to ask if he was available.

You ended up agreeing on you coming over on Wednesday, Hitoshi already having talked with his dad about you and repeating over and over that you were no more than a friend to avoid his father’s possible teasing. It had been fine most of the time but during the time you were there he couldn’t help but feel you were on edge all the time, your face fully red and the stutter ever so present that made you look even cuter in his eyes. He offered to walk you back to the bus stop to ensure that you’d get there safely, and he could’ve sworn that the street lights that were starting to come to life gave you aesthetic looks from every angle he could see. “Maybe we could… do this again? It was fun studying with someone outside my class and you actually helped me a lot with History today, so I think it’s a win-win.”

He did expect you to say no or to at least think about it for a moment, but when you accepted without question it took him by surprise and he couldn’t stop smiling for the rest of the evening. From then on you spent at least one day a week with him and his dad who always asked him about you and tried his best to make you feel comfortable - it was endearing for Hitoshi to see you both getting along so well, and soon he started talking with his father about you even when you weren’t there. It felt right, and he liked the appreciation his dad seemed to have taken towards you. “She’s such a good girl Hitoshi,” he used to say. “Don’t be a fool and don’t let her go.”

The breaking point was one afternoon that you were studying for finals and revising math and he could see that you were the most tired he had ever seen you, the bags under your eyes almost as pronounced as his. Your head bobbed a few times as you seemed to be trying your best to keep focus until you let out that surprised even him. “Are you tired already (Y/N)?” he asked with a gentle smile, and you turned around returning it and replying that it was fine - once he was back looking through his own notebook it only took a moment before he felt a weight on his shoulder, and when he looked to his side he saw you leaning against him, your eyes closed and your breathing steady. Fuck, he thought while blushing, she looks completely adorable.

Carefully maneuvering your sleeping form and getting up as silently as possible, he picked you up bridal style and brought you to his bed, watching as you immediately shifted onto a more comfortable position. Hitoshi knelt beside the bed with his face dangerously close to yours and watched all about you as your chest moved up and down rhythmically, your mouth slightly agape. It was a precious sight to him and with his heartbeat racing he leaned forward and placed a kiss on the tip of your nose before sighing, almost absentmindedly.

“I’ve got it bad for you, huh,” he whispered, hoping you’d be a heavy sleeper as he lovingly admired even the littlest things about you while he could do it, like how you held your hands together while sleeping or the way you were always about to snore but didn’t quite reach the limit. He was amazed by the fact that you had become so much for him in such short time, but he was beyond thankful that you had decided to approach him first - bringing one hand to your face, he cupped your cheek and smiled at you one last time before getting up and walking back to his desk. “I’ll do something about this, I promise.”

It was more of a promise to himself - that’s how it all started.

[shadowsfan]

A brief (well maybe not) synopsis of my time in Cork - seeing Stephen Dillane in How it Is (part I)

I am back from Ireland, and have been lazy about writing this so I apologize. I figured that Stephen Dillane’s B-day is as good a day as any to post my Stephen Dillane-centric review of the play/not play How it Is (part I) and give you the overview of my three days of seeing the play and other adventures.  I’ve already posted links of the reviews from the Irish newspapers so check my blog to read them - they summarize this play and the performances way better than this post will!  

Beckett’s, How it Is (part I), this novel set for stage, is difficult to understand.  There, I admitted it!  But, I figure most of you who follow this blog probably don’t want to know about the novel so much, but more about Stephen and his performance.  He was amazing as always, and I know I always say that, but really I was even surprised by how good this was - and how good he was in it.  It must have been incredibly difficult to memorize this (there is no punctuation in the text) and then recite it with another actor in duet - sometimes at the same time, sometimes a beat behind or ahead, sometimes listening and then repeating (I asked Stephen about this and will tell you his answer later).  This from the reviews :

“Dillane effortlessly finds the rhythm in Beckett’s work, at times almost singing the text, and seems to be enjoying himself immensely. Where Lovett appears to turn inward in his torment, imbuing his performance with a sense of heartbreaking humanity, Dillane preens with mischief and humour, in an utterly compelling performance.”

The seating was limited to about 48 audience members total (4 rows of 12).  We were ushered in by a side entrance to the stage, where the audience sat on the stage facing the seats in the auditorium.  The theater is a beautiful old Victorian-style building in the historic district of Cork city center.  The curtain is down at first, so we just see the curtain in front of us - not into the auditorium.  Soon, Stephen, Conor, Judy and Mel (Conor and Mel act in the play and Mel also does the sound/music), walk out to stand in front of the audience with the curtain at their backs.  I am in the front row (what did you expect?) and they are very close - maybe 3 or 4 feet away.  Judy (the director) introduces everyone (she says “Stephen Dillane - actor”), and explains that How It Is (part I) is not a play but a novel, and the performance is one hour and 47 minutes with no interval.  If you leave, you can’t be allowed back in.  Then they exit, single file around the curtain.  

The first time I saw it, was the Wednesday night preview and the audience was mainly composed of die-hard Beckett fans from Ireland.  So, the Irish Conor and Judy, who are known there in Cork, got more applause on introduction than Stephen.  The three of them looked at each other and had a giggle at that.  It was mostly because we weren’t sure if we were supposed to clap - nobody really knew what to expect, and he was the first one introduced so he got mediocre applause, but it was funny because he’s the guest star.

I’m not going to go into detail about the play/not play itself, I’ll leave that to the reviews, and also because I don’t want to spoil it for anyone who might see it.  I will just say that each night’s performance was slightly different and I’m glad I went more than once (I asked Stephen about that too).  I will tell you that there are parts that feature Conor and parts that feature Stephen and some both of them in duet.  

Of course the Dillane fans will want to hear about the part near the end where Stephen has what you might call a monologue - but he’s also being echoed by Conor so it isn’t really.  He plays with the space between the darkened theater and the audience.  He’s standing on stage in front of us - sometimes pacing and sometimes still.  He moves closer and then away.  All the while he’s reciting the text as if talking to himself - or someone only he can hear.  His face is so expressive that you know exactly how he feels - and it’s pretty good at this point in the text - and he relates the humor in the text that I didn’t really get from reading it.  He moves so close at one point that I am staring directly into his chest.  I could touch him (of course I don’t but he’s THAT close).  He takes this moment to make his voice boom - “Good God!” he shouts and my ears hurt (seriously).  Then, when he moves away his voice goes quiet, contemplative.  He has all of us in the palm of his hand waiting breathlessly for his next word.  The man sitting next to me has his eyes closed and he’s nodding with a smile on his face.  The play ends and the actors return to take a bow.  The first night they got a standing ovation.  The next two nights we don’t stand but applause is quite enthusiastic.  I think the audience is so small and we are so close to the actors that people are a little self-conscious about standing.

Okay on to the after party.  The preview night there was a scheduled, after play discussion, which ended up being a little more formal than I expected.  The theater has a tiny - maybe 8 tables? - bar.  Most of the audience, or more than half at least, went over there and got drinks and mingled until the cast came out and took seats on bar stools lined up in front of the bar.  There was a moderator and a cameraman - not sure what they filmed it for - news or private or what, but it is on tape somewhere.  Stephen was the last to arrive and he dumped his bag and hat (knit cap with a ball on top) in the corner and took the last stool.  They mostly talked to Conor and Judy about their theater company and how they only do Beckett plays and then adapting this to stage.  The noteworthy Stephen exchange was when the moderator asked about accents and how they decided to do their own voices - Conor with his Irish accent and Stephen with his English/London voice.  Stephen said he always thought Beckett had to be done with an Irish accent and he’d learned one for Faith Healer and tried to use it for this.  Judy laughed and said yeah it was a problem and everyone laughed.  She said that she’d asked him “What the hell are you doing?”  He looked down and said he worked really hard at it and everyone laughed again.  So I guess the Irish didn’t like his Irish accent - I made a mental note not to tell him I don’t think his American accent is that good either Lol.  Poor Stephen.

Anyway, it was getting late by that time - 11:30 or so (past my bedtime- to be fair I’d taken an early bus from Dublin that morning) and they finally wrapped up and I saw Stephen starting to grab his gear.  I wanted to say hi, so I went up and asked him if he remembered me.  It took a moment (I hadn’t talked to him in nearly 2 yrs) but he finally smiled and said, “Yes of course” and then I just started gushing about the play.  I should say that everyone in the bar was really stoked about the play and I could tell Stephen and the others were hyped about it too, so I think he was really happy to talk about it.  I had been sitting next to a lady from NYC who knew Conor and Judy (a Beckett fan), and so I introduced her to Stephen and we all started talking about Beckett.  Again, I’ll try and keep to the noteworthy comments

I made a confession and told Stephen that I liked the play more than I expected to, and he wanted to know what I meant.  When I started to say that the text was so difficult to read - he finished my sentence for me.  I think he could relate to that.  I said that I got more from seeing it performed and that I really enjoyed it.  I asked about it being difficult to memorize (yes he said) and whether or not he and Conor listened to each other when they were talking/repeating the same lines - he said yes, they found that they had to.  (I think it’s kind of like a duet in a musical number)  

I mentioned that I was surprised by the humor, I hadn’t found it that funny when reading it. He said that it was really difficult to get the timing right because in the text the setup might happen several lines before the payoff/punchline.  We told him we really wanted to see parts II and III and hoped they could do it.  He said it depended on funding but he would be interested if they wanted to do it.  I asked if they were really bringing it to London (now the dates are set but then they weren’t) and he said yes but he wasn’t sure how it was going to work in that space but he trusted Conor and Judy to work it out (turns out it is a much different space so I’m curious too since the audience will be much larger).  Then he said he had to go.  He laughed and asked me if I was “really” going to see him the next two nights and I said “of course, I’ll see you tomorrow!”  So we said good night and I finally got to go sleep (good dreams of course).

The next night was opening night.  The play was great again, but I think there might have been a problem with Stephen’s mic at the beginning.  They did a couple of things differently and my friend (she went to see it again too) and I talked about it in the bar afterwards.  I didn’t expect Stephen to come to the bar again - although in hindsight it was opening night so I guess he would.  He walked in and came over to our table and so I was lucky enough to chat with him again!  We asked about the couple of things that were different (one prop in a different spot and one acting thing he did - mouthing words instead of speaking them).  He admitted that they mixed things up slightly from time to time in the play to keep it fresh.  He asked us a few questions about what we were up to and then I asked him about the Tacita Dean art exhibition he was in.  He asked if I was familiar with her work - I said yes with An Event for a Stage - but that I hadn’t seen the film, only heard the audio.  He was surprised at that and told me I needed to see the film!  (I agree so please show somewhere close to me)  Anyway, he described the process of how she makes her films and it was really interesting (especially as explained by him complete with hand gestures).  Conor and Judy got us all a beer and they joined us and we chatted some more and then they had to go mingle so I lost track of Stephen for awhile (well I saw him talking it was a small bar) until it was time to go.  He waved goodbye and took off.

The last night in Cork, I thought the play was the best - well maybe it was a tie with the first night - but Stephen’s performance was the best of the three nights.  Later I was talking to Conor and he said it too - unprompted - wasn’t Stephen amazing tonight?  I met another Stephen fan from France and she brought some stuff for him to sign and some presents.  Sadly, he had to run out right after the show - he did sign her stuff and got his gifts - so we didn’t get to chat again.  I found out later his family had flown in and he had to pick them up at the airport.  I can’t complain, I was incredibly lucky to talk to him as much as I did.  Even if I hadn’t, seeing him perform was well worth the trip!  That wraps up my fangirl review.  Until the next play - I can’t wait!

[cattwomannn]

A Family Of Your Own (Jason Todd x Reader)

Request: “I really love your blog and your writing! Would you be able to do a Jason Todd x reader where the reader is pregnant and they tell the batfam (bonus: grandpa Bruce)”- anon

Y/N- Your Name

Y/N/N- Your Nick Name

Warnings: None? Maybe swearing?

A/N: This took longer to write than I originally hoped, but its also a lot lengthier than I was meaning for it to be.. lol. I hope you enjoy, anon!

*********************************************************************************************

“Jay?? Are you ready?” you shout as you rush around your apartment looking for your keys. You were supposed to be at the manor 30 minutes ago, but as always, you were running late. You sit down on the couch and go through your purse one more time just to make sure you didn’t miss them in there when you first checked. You only stop looking when you hear the sound of them jingling, and look up to see your husband dangling the keys in front of your face.

“Looking for these?” he asks with a mischievous smile.

“You had them the whole time, didn’t you?” you grumble as you grab the keys from his hand.

He flops down onto the couch just as you’re starting to stand up.

“Jason… come on, we gotta go!” you say, tugging on his arm, trying to pull him up into a standing position.

You had big news to share with everyone… you were pregnant. And now that you were in your second trimester, it was time to tell your little secret. You didn’t have a family of your own, so getting to tell Jason’s was just as important to you. Bruce had been the dad you never got to have, meaning you were the most nervous and excited to tell him. You weren’t exactly sure how he’d react, raising a child in a city like Gotham was risky, and to add to that this baby was being born into a family of vigilante’s.

You’re pulled out of your thoughts though by Jason’s voice.

“I say we revisit my idea of just sending them a friendly group text… you know, just say ‘I knocked Y/N up! Surprise!’ and be done with it!” he says with a goofy look on his face.

“Jason Peter Todd… No. This isn’t something you just tell someone over the phone. This is your family we’re talking about here… and they’re my family too.” you pout.

You knew exactly what you were doing, and so did Jason. But he didn’t care, and even if he did, he always had a problem with telling you 'no’.

“Fiiiiiiiiine” he groans out, and leans forward to put his hands on your stomach.

“Let it be known that your mother fights dirty.” he says, talking to your unborn baby.

You laugh and roll your eyes.

“You think she can hear me in there?” he asks, looking up at you.

“At 24 weeks babies have been known to turn their heads in response to noises and voices.” you say, quoting an article you had read earlier that day.  

“Someone’s been doing their research.” he says with his brows raised.

“Hey! I just wanna know whats going on in there! I know next to nothing about babies. Hell, I didn’t even know I wanted one till this little dork came along.” you say, defending yourself.

Jason stands up, pulling you into his arms.

“You’re cute, you know that?” he smiles.

“Of course… my cuteness is my most redeeming quality.” you joke.

“Wait a minute. Did you just call our future daughter a dork?” he asks, trying not to laugh.

“I mean, if shes anything like you she will be…” you fire back.

His mouth drops open as he pretends to be insulted.

“I am not a dork!” he says, holding back a laugh.

“ Sureeeee.” you smirk, as you tug him along towards the door.

Once you arrive at the manor you’re greeted at the door by Alfred. As soon as you saw him you smiled… Alfred had always been like a grandfather to you, not to mention he was the only one who rivaled you in sarcasm.

“You’re an hour late… I’m shocked.” he says, causing you to snicker.

“You can thank Jay for that one… he decided he wanted to play hide and seek with the car keys today.” you say as you step inside.

“Way to throw me under the bus, Y/N/N.” Jason mumbles.

“Don’t you worry, Master Jason… I had no doubts that you were to blame.” he replies.

Jason huff’s at this, and you laugh… It was good to be back at the manor.

As the three of you walked through the house you could feel the anxiety bubbling up inside you, you reach out and grab Jason’s hands, intertwining your fingers. When you walk into the living room you see everyone is there, the room is loud but it always is when the family is gathered around. Dick is the first to notice you.

“Y/N!” Dick shouts, getting up to hug you.

Dick was your best friend, in fact, you knew him before you even knew Jason. He had been your partner in crime all throughout your childhood and your time as a vigilante, he also played a part in what brought you and your now husband together. Which was why you felt so guilty about not telling Dick about the pregnancy sooner, but you knew at the end of the day he’d never hold it against you.

After you finished greeting everyone, you and Jason took a seat on the couch with the others. It was time to share your news, but for some reason you just couldn’t get the words to come out. You looked over at Jason only to find him already looking at you, his warm smile giving you the courage to say what you need to. But just as you’re about to speak, you’re interrupted by Jason’s youngest brother.

“Are you two getting a divorce or something? I can only imagine that’s why you asked us all to be here today. You can just tell us… I mean, it is Todd we’re talking about here.” Damian smirks.

“Nice vote of confidence there, Damian.” Jason says in a flat tone, causing you to laugh.

“Seriously though… Whats up? Are you guys okay?” a very worried Barbara asks.

“Everything is fine! Its nothing like that…” you reassure.

“Everything is more than fine actually.” Jason says as he smiles at you.

Now that you officially have everyone’s attention, you stand up. You can see they’re confused, so with that you unzip your jacket revealing a tiny baby bump, not big enough for them to have noticed over layers of clothing, but prominent enough for them to know exactly what you’re getting at. As soon as they realize what they’re seeing, the living room breaks out into excited shouting and everyone gets up to congratulate you. Jason stands up and pulls you into his arms. The reaction from your family was everything you hoped it would be. Everything is happening so fast though that it feels like a blur. Its not until your standing in front of your father in law that you snap out of it.

The always stoic batman smiles down at you, and you cant help but pull him into a hug. Bruce was often a man of few words, but that never bothered you. His smile was enough for you to know that he was happy for you. Finally you release him from the hug, and look back up at him.

“So..” you say through tears. “How does 'Grandpa Bruce’ sound to you?” you ask.

“It sounds perfect, Y/N.” he replies

“She’s gonna love you..” you say softly.

“She??” his smile grows bigger at that.

“Yeah, its a little girl.” you say.

This time Bruce is the one to pull you into the hug.

“Congratulations, sweetheart.” he says, kissing the top of your head.

BONUS: (3 YEARS LATER)

Today was your daughters 3rd birthday and everyone was gathered at the manor again. As your family and friends all squeezed themselves into the kitchen , you and Jason brought in the birthday cake, setting it down at the table in front of her. She was sitting on Bruce’s lap, clapping wildly as you all sang her happy birthday. Bruce smiled bright, holding your little girl close to him.

When the singing finished, he leaned forward and helped your daughter blow out her candles. After they were out, the room erupted into cheers. The scene was picturesque, and you were so happy you thought you might cry. Jason wraps his arms around your waist, and pulls you into a kiss. You pull away and smile, pressing your forehead against his. You finally had a family to call your own, never in your life did you imagine you’d get this lucky. But, boy were you glad you did…