#this sounds like a weird pose because i cannot think of anyone less likely to fit this description than anne sexton | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

pollenat · 4 years ago

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SF9 and 5 ways to say I love you

➛ Note: There are few indications of nsfw themes.

INSEONG

Pouting when he scolds you for taking his jacket. He doesn’t like sharing clothes, and you know it. But the material smells the same way he does. You want to be surrounded by it 24/7. His demeanor changes at your confession. The familiar darkness of his eyes softens. You think he may forgive you, but he returns to scolding, this time with you in his embrace. Still, he doesn’t take the jacket back.

The sharpness of his gaze as you press yourself closer to him. People around are talking, too busy to notice a touch-hungry couple. Yet the thought of going further in the current surroundings doesn’t please you. Inseong has much less self-control. His knuckles turn white from the tight grip on a wine-glass, his other hand reaching down your back. It’s not long after that you leave the party.

Drawing each other on napkins when you’re in a cafe. The drinks are cold by the time you finish, but you’re satisfied with the work. He laughs at the little message you’ve added. “Does loving you make me a furry?”. Your eyes meet for a short moment before he writes down a “yes”.

The vibrations of his chest that are forced by honest laughter. Curious, you attempt to look back at him, but your head can’t go far enough, and in the end it moves from his breast to shoulder. “What’s so fun-” before you can finish asking, his phone plays the same video again. Your heads collide when you join in on the laughter.

The strength of wind one very random day, when you’ve decided to go out. It doesn’t spare anyone, pushing and pulling in the chosen direction. When you finally find shelter inside the first shop you see, both you and Inseong look ridiculously messy. As you’re rearranging his torn locks, you don’t miss the way he smiles at your features. Finally, he brings his hands up to help you too, but only after your scolding.

YOUNGBIN

Sighing when he tells you to pose for a picture. He has way too many similar ones saved on his phone, but Youngbin doesn’t care about your complaints. “I need them.” “For what?” “For when you’re too busy to see me.” His answer makes you smile bashfully. The picture he takes that day becomes his favorite.

A car ride in the morning. Streets are crowded with colorful cars and sleepy workers, as they all wander somewhere with a clear destination in mind. You do as well, but not to work or school. Youngbin’s eyes catch yours, their glossy surface turning soft from the exchange. His hands are gripping a steering wheel, meant to take you far away from the city’s traffic, to the holidays in the middle of the week.

Sharing heated kisses despite the discomfort that the countertop brings to your bottom. You can’t take your attention away from Youngbin’s magnetic touch and warm breath. But there’s a thought that tries to break through his presence. Finally, he sighs in annoyance and reaches behind you to turn down the cooker. “Better safe than sorry.” introduces another series of meeting lips, now much steadier without anything to bug your minds.

He never complains whenever his head hurts, but the weight on your lap is enough to tell you everything. Youngbin sighs deeply as you press your fingers to his temples. Then he smiles shyly and says a quiet thank you, glad to have someone who understands him without words.

The way he never raises voice at you, even when the annoyance is all too evident on his face. You want to bite back, make a remark that is bound to make him more frustrated, but Youngbin leaves before you get the chance to. “I don’t want to fight any longer. Let’s talk once we both calm down.” he hesitates by the door, hand reaching forward to meet yours in a gesture of goodbye. But then he remembers you’re angry at one another, and drops the limb. You cannot miss the shadow of sadness on his face.

JAEYOON

The sight of his broad shoulders, and the warmth of his arm hugging your folded legs. TV hums in the background, easily engaging him in the latest news. To you, it’s just a background noise. Jaeyoon’s soft hair draw the end of your world, their texture lovely in touch. As your fingers massage that one spot, he leans into them, a deep sigh silencing the news anchor. He remind you of a touch-starved puppy.

Placing down your lucky word on the Srabble board. Jaeyoon scoffs at the two bonuses you are given and your winning dance. “You got lucky.” is his reasoning, which you do not question. Games like Scrabble are all about four-leaf clovers, but it won’t stop you from celebrating. Your partner watches with his arms crossed, and just as you’re about to make a turn, small smile spreads his mouth in a way best described as fond.

The clash of strength when you’re wrestling on the sand. Jaeyoon wanted to put dirty lock of seaweed on your head, which earned him a push to the ground. As you manage to distract him for long enough to sit on his chest, you stop, stunned by his radiant smile. It’s framed in sunscreen, grains of sand, and wet strands of hair. All of which take your breath away long enough for him to overpower you.

Hiding under covers during a stormy night. It’s not a reason behind your activity, rather a simple correlation, because neither you, nor Jaeyoon feel anything similar to fear. Instead, you’re grinning at one another in the darkness. His feet tangle with yours, hands twist and run over each other’s bodies, sighs melt into one. A thunderbolt lights up the world outside, but surges through your veins when the man in your embrace finally lays a kiss you’ve been waiting for.

A growing collection of cacti, neatly organized on a window sill. Each one has a name, which their buyer welcomes with amusement, but never ridiculousness. “Did you feed our children?” “Of course! Do you take me for a terrible father?” Sometimes, when he’s lost in thought, you observe his unconscious habit of touching their needles.

DAWON

Admiring his calmness as he munches on a chicken wing. Once he realizes you’re not eating, he offers you another one, his eyes innocent, hot sauce dripping from the corner of his mouth. You don’t take the wing, instead reaching forward to wipe the liquid with your thumb. Sanghyuk chokes on his food as you put the finger in your mouth.

Lying in bed, your backs facing each other, either of you scared to turn around after the argument you had. There’s no more anger, only longing to go back to normal and see the other’s face. You miss his voice, but the uneasy silence is pressing on your chest, too heavy to allow words. Instead, you move your hand back, in search of his, and when you eventually do, you’re elated to find him returning the grip.

The afternoons when you sit down on a bench, watching passersby and narrating their lives. Neither of you can stop laughing during those, attracting attention of strangers, but all of them wave you off as just another weird couple. “You have to admit, he does look like a murderer.” Sanghyuk smiles at the sound of your maniacal laughter. His arm pulls you closer to his side.

Feeling his hands resting on your sides as he approaches the conversation you’re busy with. There’s nothing possessive about Sanghyuk’s grip, although your primary companion gives you an uncomfortable smile. You’re not the type to tell the man behind you off for showing the purest sort of affection for his other half. Even if in the end, the person is quick to escape. “What a nice guy. Too bad he had to leave.” you smile at Sanghyuk’s honest cluelessness.

The sight of him dressed in an apron, fresh batch of cookies still steaming from the oven’s temperature. Frosting is bubbling in the pan, and he curses as soon as he realizes what’s going on. Quick as to not burn it, Sanghyuk turns off the stove. You lean on the doorway, watching him move around the kitchen, until he finally realizes you’re back. Just a look at you and his mouth widens to show off a welcoming grin.

ZUHO

Nights spent in front of the computer screen, on Juho’s thighs, with his silhouette embracing you. He’s busy with work, but doesn’t complain about your weight. It would be weird if he did, considering he was the one to insist on your presence. Perhaps to use you as a chin stand. It digs in the side of your neck, hesitating between a massage and painful annoyance. “What? Am I bothering you?”.

Having trouble staying mad at him. Even if the argument you had was a rather big one, Juho continues doing the little things. As if everything was normal. Coffee, extra meal, even that dumb yogurt you like the most - they’re all still there, no matter what. Their presence is a needle stinging the back of your head, telling you to put the fight behind and return to the warmth of the person you’re so used to.

The times when his shy side steps back, to let another one take over. That Juho is more confident, smiling slyly, with a gaze twice as dark. There are new depths to him that beg for exploration. No matter how many times you’ve experienced it all, nothing about him can bore you. There’s a side of an obsessed explorer to your always Juho-starved mind. Even when his deep voice laughs at the excitement you’re showing, he doesn’t push you away. He seems to enjoy the attention just as much.

A never-ending string of chat conversations. Be it cute pictures of cats, rare memes, or just a voiced desire to eat junk food, you always look forward to the signs of communication. And if he won’t provide, you will. With a picture he may not want to show his friends, or words he won’t use in a love song, worried it will somehow get out. These are for him only.

Correcting the collar of his shirt, minutes before he’s supposed to leave for an evening out. It’s a normal thing to do - spend time with others, not just your loved one - but the close future still feels salty on your tongue. Juho asks you a question, and you smile in answer, nodding your head that yes, his friend is sure to like the birthday gift. He mirrors your expression, kisses goodbye, then disappears into the night. Out of sight, not out of mind.

ROWOON

The words of encouragement he uses during a dinner out. Things like “Finish this serving, I’ll ask for another.”, or “You ate too little. Have some more.” accompany each bite you take, deafening the inner voice of guilt. It will come later, when Seokwoo’s voice disappears with a sweet goodbye. And quiver in fear when he scolds you for ever being ashamed of your weight.

Waking up in the middle of the night. Your fingers curl and uncurl, their tips eventually spreading over the warm skin of his chest. Mind wide awake, you cannot just go back to sleep. Instead, you delicately draw shapes, hoping to hypnotize yourself, and somehow keep him awake. All of sudden one of his hands grabs yours and pulls it over his chest, to make you embrace him better. He’s asleep again just a second later.

Goodbyes that take much longer than they should. Even after spending an entire day in each other’s presence, neither of you want to part ways. Seokwoo’s hold is strong, pulling you so close to him, you think he may want to melt the two of you into one. Not that there’s anything wrong with the idea. Was it a possibility, you wouldn’t have thought twice. “I should probably get going.” he says, but the hold loses its strength only much later.

Nothing. You’re doing absolutely nothing, and he still looks like he’s about to melt from the sight alone. His smile is wide, dream-like, and in return you try hiding yourself, because that’s too much for your heart to take. “What? Don’t cover your face!” he’s laughing, his hands grabbing at your forearms to pull them down. When you’re defenseless he places the sweetest of kisses on the very tip of your nose.

The lack of your vitamin S. These instances are so rare, you can never get used to them. It’s like being homesick. Even if you’re sitting on a couch you paid for, home feels far away. It will come back, you’re sure of it. You will do everything to assure its return. But for now, you just sink in the feeling of loneliness, turning over the words, the moments, the possibilities.

TAEYANG

If it wasn’t for his begs, you wouldn’t have ended up dancing in the club. Which would be a shame, because Taeyang was right. Every once in a while you can go out, if just for the sake of seeing him in his element, a satisfied smile decorating such beautiful features he possesses. His hands pull you back into moving when the overwhelming adoration makes you stop for a moment.

The pain being so visible on his face. As much as Taeyang wants to keep the image of a stoic man, hearing your hurtful words makes the walls of a calm act explode into flour-like dust. He trembles in his spot, holding back the waterfall of emotions. How could you, of all people, say something so real to him? Something that could shake him to the bone? When he can’t stay anymore, Taeyang leaves in silence.

A walk through quiet streets. Some ights flicker on and off, broken, some unchangably dark, abandoned due to budget cuts. The sun has set a while back. While most people are busy with their everyday struggles, you and Taeyang are taking slow steps with fingers interlocked. Every few minutes his hip hits yours, seemingly on accident, but just a look at his sly smile is enough to let you know it’s intentional.

“How could you? I’m your boyfriend!” echoes from his contorted lips. “And a sore loser! Can’t I win every once in a while?” His sad eyes and closed mouth answer without a need for words: no, you can’t. Taeyang does a poor attempt at nonchalant shrugging, but his release of the controller means that the game has ended. Only hugs and kisses of affirmation manage to pull his lips into a smile.

The mornings when you wake up beside him. Rays of sunshine fall on his face, gently pulling him out of dreamland. You’re there to witness his first frown, delicate stir, and a turn to his other side, to escape the sun. Before he can register what’s going on around, soft mumbles leave his mouth. So quiet, you need to lean forward to hear better. That’s when he strikes - by kissing your ear. “Eww!” Taeyang just laughs.

HWIYOUNG

Laughing at the sight of a very confused Sanghyuk exiting the toilets. You were meant to wait for him, but Youngkyun couldn’t pass a chance to mess with the poor guy. “We’ll come out after he suffers long enough.” the boy whispers in your ear, his breath warm on the thin skin of a helix. Lean and strong fingers are innocently placed on your side, as if to keep you close, not in place. Perhaps it’s out of his mind, but you? You are more than comfortable there.

The way he embraces you like fine china. It’s so delicate, you’re sometimes worried he doesn’t want to indulge in any physical affection. When the thought crosses your mind, you loosen the grip on his sides. But instead of a sigh of relief, Youngkyun gives you a look of surprise. Questions of genuine worry are quick to follow. And if you have nothing to say, he will make you talk.

Pulling at his hand to follow you inside the store. Youngkyun sighs, reminding you of arrangements you made earlier, but the place looks so inviting, meetings lose their appeal. “Just 5 minutes.” he eventually relents. How does one tell you no? Inside, you’re leading him from a display to display, marveling at the products. Hurrying goes out of your heads, and when you finally leave, you’re late. But Youngkyun doesn’t seem to mind, too busy laughing at the bag of purchases hung on your arm.

The callouses on his hands. You’re massaging them, as if something as simple as smoothing down rougher patches of skin could delete them. It’s not your intention. Rather than anything, you find the feeling of them under your fingertips therapeutic. Youngkyun never comments on the habit, his hands always free when it comes to you. In private, he sometimes even adds foreahead kisses as a bonus.

The feeling of pride living rent-free in your head. Just a look at Youngkyun reminds you of the many reasons he’s so great. His ears redden as soon as he realizes you’re watching, too lost in the sight to be awakened by anything other than loud speech. “Stop!” he gently pushes you away. Maybe you do stop for a while, but the need to look returns soon after.

CHANI

The deathly grip of his hand on your elbow. Its suddenness throws you off, until the sight of his awkward smile comes on display. Leave it to Chanhee to get a bit dramatic with how embarrassed one can become. “It’s just my family.” “What if they don’t like me?” his worries seem absurd to you. “There’s not a single person in this world that dislikes you.” Your eyes meet as you detach his hand to hold it properly. “I’ve got you.”

A hug from behind, few words of affirmation and a smile to the side of your head - a mix of three things that make you unable to say no, as long as they’re contributed by Chanhee. He knows it all too well, often with evident slyness to his smiles. No apology tastes sweeter than the one flying out of his warmth breath by your ear.

The automatic motion of giving him your snacks. One for Chanhee, one for your. Another for Chanhee, another for you. He doesn’t seem to notice the hilaroius aspect of the situation, too busy with his phone. And although you do notice, the discovery only slows down your hand, not stop it. After one more, you surprise him with a soft kiss. Then, as his widened eyes center on you, the hand resumes its task. Chanhee doesn’t complain to anything. Still, his gaze stays on your features for a longer while.

The annoyance on his face making you feel so small, you can’t look at him. The argument is still vivid in your memory, words coming back to torture you more than necessary. You think you may go mad from the absurd of it all, but most of all, from the coldness Chanhee is emanating with. “Whatever.” you tell him instead of an usual goodbye. Maybe because you’re too tired by everything, maybe because you want the sound of it to hurt him.

Noticing how comfortable he is around you. There’s a stark difference between the past Chanhee and the present one. Reddening ears, nervous whispering, secrets - all of them are no longer a thing. There are no walls between your lives. Just the reality of having to deal with an extreme case of a “clown”. But Chanhee can’t know you like to call him that, because in revenge he will find you a nickname much worse.

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#Ive got uni and script-writing program to balance #so sorry for not updating #and #its the last 5 ways to say i love you for now #more scenarios are coming together #idk if u will even read the tags #kpop imagines #kpop au #kpop reactions #kpop fluff #kpop scenarios #kpop fanfic #sf9 imagines #sf9 au #sf9 reactions #sf9 fluff #sf9 scenarios #sf9 fanfic

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elsanna-shenanigans · 3 years ago

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August Contest Submission #15: Jupiter’s Moon

Words: ca. 2,000 Setting: Takes place in one of Jupiter’s Moon Lemon: No CW: Hunting, implied character death, reincarnation

Anna’s POV

There was a very noticeable tint of magenta in the plants today, it might have rained methane last night as per usual. Around this time, she usually comes out. The woman of winter, she is said to attack warriors after rain.

But I have to go out to hunt. I have duty to my mother, Iduna, and my younger brother, Kristof.

They depend on me to bring back food. I looked up and saw Jupiter and prayed to him. May he give me strength for my hunt tonight.

I scoured the forest for signs of life. There was a faint smell of meat and I saw a dear Elfien. It’s ears twitched at the slightest of sounds. I gentled my steps, moving barely louder than an intake of breath. It moves, I freeze in my position. Unseen as I blend into the purple leaves of the Bashens.

I was about to attack when it suddenly walked towards something, it walks into its nest, full of its masenowa. I was stricken with such empathy for this endearing creature that I decided to leave it alone.

But it is when the most unexpected happened. A Frucknigh leapt in to attack the poor Elfien. It was luckily alert, protecting its masenowa and was able to dodge the early attack.

This was my only opportunity to both take a kill and protect the Elfien and its bunch so I took out my spear, aimed and threw.

Luckily, the spear fatally wounded the Frucknigh and I was able to easily wrestle it to the ground, where it bled out. The Elfien had long moved its masenowas away, so I went to work and carried the Frucknigh home.

It was just my luck that I met her.

It’s her.

Third POV

Before her is the woman from my dreams. She had the same hair, the same shape, the same face. She wore a weird expression, perhaps she was just as shocked, terrified and horrified as Anna was. Afterall, who would look for a kill around this time?

“This is…” the strange woman started. “Very peculiar, you look just like her.”

“Are you the woman of winter?” she asked.

With that the woman let out a hearty laugh. “So you know who I am?” she said.

“Of course.” Anna smiled knowingly. “You’re not here to kill me are you?”

“No, don’t worry,” the woman of winter replied, and she joined Anna on her way back home.

As they were deep in the journey, the woman started to talk to Anna. “How do you talk to me like I’m just another?”

“Me, your Aetherness? This wasn’t my first meeting with a spirit. I have in fact already met an oracle.”

“Oh, an Oracle,” the woman parroted, holding such expressive curious eyes. “And who might this be?”

“Your Aetherness, her name is Yelena.” Anna reveals.

“Oh, so she is here?” Elsa asked again to which Anna replied with “You two have met in the scape?”

“We go a long way back, yes.”

“Well this is Jupiter’s moon after all,” Anna said. Her house came into view, they were close. “The harborer of dreams.”

They talked for more while inside while Anna went about preserving the meat for whole winter, and checked the stockpile to gauge if it would last them until the Yelsian Circle.

When Anna was making her way to the Phosian’s trickles, used to keep the recently killed frucknigh fresh within their house inventory. The woman had already disappeared, it’s unclear to her how long she has been talking all by herself.

Elsa’s POV

But it couldn’t be! Elsa thought again and again… This just couldn’t be. If it was then everything I knew as a reality isn’t as real as I once believed.

There was no way her own eyes were lying to her though, so she went and looked for Yelena, she had asked the hunter woman where Yelena was and she had pointed the way.

Yelena lived in a very dense forest-like place in this new planet. Unsurprising.

“Before you say anything,” Yelena said as she saw her approach. “I knew you were coming here. You would sooner or later. Sit down, I will answer your questions.”

And so Elsa asked why this woman looked like Anna, her Anna.

Yelena gave her simple yet vague answer “Yes, it is her. This is Jupiter’s moon. The harborer of dreams.”

Frustrated, Elsa went back to see Anna again, but her projection to the planet got weaker and she was pulled back to Earth. Her heart ached.

“Was it lies?” Elsa asked herself for a hundredth time since she had seen the woman who looked like Anna. “Or was I just too dumb to see it for myself.”

Anna waited the next day, hoping she might see the winter woman again, but she reckoned that the winter woman can only travel after a methane rain when the dreams are the strongest. Anna waited for its next pouring.

“Do you know?” Elsa asked her friend, “when it rains here, it also rains in Earth.”

Anna stared incredulously to her. “Do you mean Nirim, your Aetherness?” she asked the woman.

“Please, call me Elsa.” The woman gave her name.

“Elsa.” Anna repeated, testing the name on her tongue. “I didn’t know Aethers named themselves. They had always only held titles in the gathered tongues.”

“Names are important from where I came from and I had one before I became the fifth spirit,” Elsa replied. “Why do they call you Anna?”

“It means Redhaired woman.” Anna answered which shocked Elsa a bit.

It was eons before it rained methane again and this time Elsa came back with Jupiter’s moonflower. It is a very important flower that meant a lot on the moon. This one was for courtships.

“Are those for me? Do you know what that flower means?” Anna asked Elsa, and she received a smile as an answer.

“This is Jupiter’s moon? The harborer of dreams?”

Earlier, Elsa has Yelena again to ask for advice.

“How do I get her back?” she asked Yelena, “How do I get my Anna back?”

“Do what you were too cowardly to do before.”

“This isn’t fair!” Elsa yelled. “Ahtohallan was… I had a great responsibility.”

“You had something more important, Elsa, and you let it slip because you were tempted by power or by a delusion that you must shoulder everything. Thus the need to push your sister away. A bridge with its sides apart is a useless bridge, Fifth Spirit.”

Elsa threw away a stash of something at Yelena’s table. Was it important? She can’t seem to care, already on the brink of breaking down. “How will I do it?”

“Take this.”

“This? What is…this?” Elsa stared at the flower in her hand. It looked the same as the crocus flower that used to symbolize their kingdom… and her Anna. She hated seeing it now that Anna was gone. When she looked closer there were notable differences.

“It’s a very important flower here. Source of life in the great dark when there’s no sun in view of the sky. When given to someone, it’s a sign of courtship.”

Elsa blushed but she took it anyway, resolving to finally give it to Anna.

Whenever it rained, the woman of winter visited anna as usual as the Licors narling, always a Jupiter’s moon in tow. This clued Anna in with the woman’s motivation.

“If I may ask, Elsa.” Elsa looked at her and Anna posed the question: “Why?”

“What do you mean, why?”

“You can’t just join with someone you just met.” Anna pointed out.

“Our time together is too short to be asking questions.”

“That’s very hypocritical of you Elsa, ever since we met you’ve been asking me questions. I want answers too.” Anna spat out, annoyed.

“You remind me of someone very important to me.”

“There, it isn’t hard, is it?” Anna said. Elsa grumbled but Anna continued her questioning. “This someone, what happened between you too. Why aren’t you together?”

“She…” Elsa started, “We were in predicament.”

“Did you love her?” Anna asked.

“Yes, I did but at that time…” Elsa sighs, clearly thinking about something important. “She recovered something, a letter of mine from when I was still a young, naive woman. She took it to heart and ran off despite warnings of an incoming Blizzard.”

“Must have been an important letter,” Anna remarked.

“She was in a hurry, to leave. Some says she had a letter in hand but no one found her. This story is very hard for me to tell. Let’s not…speak about it anymore.”

“You were of winter, if anyone could have found her even if she was…you would have if you really loved her. You must have seen the letter. You did, didn’t you?”

“I didn’t” Elsa told Anna.

“I don’t believe it.” Anna replied.

“It doesn’t matter to me. Why are you so hang up about MY past.” Elsa pointed out, emphasizing the words.

“There must be a reason you brought this up. It’s important and I want to know about it.” Anna prodded at Elsa. “Please Elsa I’m so confused. I need to know something.”

“That’s enough, we’re not talking about this anymore.” Elsa remarked, her tone absolute.

“Why are you shutting me out. You’re like this whenever it’s about your past. Tell me, what are you so afraid of?” Anna said, as what she does when she’s panicked and quite fed up about being kept in the dark.

“I said enough!” Elsa exclaimed, the methane around them turned into hard crystals. “I’m leaving.”

“Were you like this to her too? You care for people, you want to be closer to them, yet you push them away? And you leave them? Are you going to abandon me too?” Anna stood her ground and glared. Elsa remained silent. The great dark is on its way and she couldn’t just stand here and wait.

There were only three rains left before the great darkening of the sky when there would be less living things in the planet, less food to it and silver to drink, the oracle informed Anna as she approached. If Elsa does not visit her before this, then she may never see her again for spirits cannot come here when life is barren.

Two rains passed and Elsa didn’t show and Anna was heartbroken until she saw her brother playing with a Jupiter’s moon. The flower was hard to get around this time and he was fairly young to have gotten it himself.

“Where did you get this flower Kris?”

“The silver haired woman gave it to me.”

“When?”

“After the oracle trip?”

This gave Anna some semblance of hope, she just hoped it didn’t break her further.

Elsa appeared in the last rain, the strongest. When Anna saw her, she was soaked in silver and dazzling under the gaze of the other moon, like it was her witness.

“You’re right,” Elsa admitted. “I saw what was in the letter.”

Anna was surprised that Elsa admitted it and she waited for her to say more.

“She was returning my feelings and I…I was so scared to face her so I didn’t show myself until it was too late.”

Elsa started crying and Anna hugs her, shedding a tear too.

“It’s okay, Elsa,” Anna whispered softly as she lightly rubbed Elsa’s back.

Elsa soon recovered.

“I fucked up and I don’t want to fuck it up again anymore. Anna I…I love you,” Elsa confessed.

“Is your love for her the same as your love for me?” Anna asked Elsa, her face serious.

“I think my love for her was real, as is my love for you right now. If you’ll accept it.”

“Of course I do!” Anna jumped up and down. “My love for you is real too.”

“I’m happy.” Elsa smiled at her, this was the brightest one yet. “I have one final question.”

Anna looked at her wondering what it was, “I’ve been wondering, do you remember?” Elsa fidgeted. “Are you her?”

Anna’s POV

Jupiter’s Moon, the harborer of dreams. The flower shines in the dark to give light to other creatures, to the extent of using all its lifeforce to provide sufficient light, especially if it’s winter. It was a wonder how such species of a flower survived, the nature of its existence is so counter-productive to its chances of survival but it withstood and remained in its harsh environment.

It’s said that consuming the plant in the time of the great lunar cycle will provide memories, from another life or another plane.

The Oracle, as she calls herself, told me of my previous life. How I was a princess of a great kingdom and that I saved all the people I loved but that it was what killed me too.

I didn’t understand it at first, but I held onto those memories until I met her.

In that moment, I knew I was her.

#elsanna #submission #august 2021 contest #prompt: flowers #cw: hunting #CW: implied character death

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thewatsonbeekeepers · 4 years ago

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Chapter 2 – Look up here, I’m in Heaven: the height metaphor

[The chapter title comes from David Bowie’s Lazarus. Lazarus is a cracking song, and you should listen to it. X CN: death, disturbing imagery]

It’s worth stating here that this whole meta has a cn for death and suicide – this one is analysing the literal peaks and troughs (height is important in this episode) that Sherlock goes through in order to look at how close he is to dying throughout.

In my reading, EMP theory begins once Mary shoots Sherlock in HLV – I’ve linked the reasons for this in Chapter 1 X, so I’m not going to run through them again here. I think Sherlock comes the closest to death that we see him in the EMP at the end of HLV – if you remember, he’s been put on a plane in ‘exile’ by Mycroft, but in reality is being sent to his death. This plane/height image is really important. In the Christian tradition (and therefore majority Western tradition that the writers are writing in), the sky is associated with heaven – Sherlock’s plane taking off being synonymous with his death seems a pretty straightforward metaphor in that regard. (It’s even one that’s used in Cats, though I don’t know if that’s a good thing.) Further to that – it ties in nicely with Sherlock being ‘high’ through a lot of s4, which represents the moments in which he is most repressed and his repression is most tied to self-harm. We have further ideas to buttress the height/aeroplane metaphor with, however – do you remember the plane in ASiB?

Sure, as I recall it never gets off the ground. But everybody on it is dead. Aeroplanes have an association with death already in this show, and the choice to put Sherlock on a plane rather than lock him up for four minutes or anything equivalent – and probably less expensive to shoot – suggests a deliberate throwback. We’re supposed to think of it as a kind of metal coffin.

[Obviously, there’s another, more notable use of an aeroplane in the programme – you can see where I’m going here. But bear with me – there’s more first.]

I want to quickly talk about what grounds Sherlock’s aeroplane. Moriarty appears on screens everywhere, and then we have the following exchange between Sherlock and Mycroft. I’ve already made a post about this that’s done the rounds on tumblr X, so if you already know this bit you’re ahead of the game.

As far as I can tell, nobody ever tells Sherlock that Moriarty is back. It’s possible Mycroft tells him offscreen, or that he googles it from his phone, given that he’s already breaking flight rules, but given that it’s the entire trigger for TAB, it seems a pretty odd thing to leave out. In EMP theory, it’s also the thing that downs his plane – in terms of the plane metaphor as well as literally, it stops him from dying. It’s pivotal, but we don’t see it. I therefore want to hypothesise – what does it mean if Sherlock is never told that Moriarty is back?

The first thing it tells us is that Sherlock is in his Mind Palace, because he knows that Moriarty is back without needing to be told. But the second is that Mycroft, the brain, is waking Sherlock from his dying stupor to tell him that England needs him, meaning that Sherlock’s brain equates Moriarty coming back with the word ‘England’ in some way. Perhaps this is a tenuous link, but the seed is planted back from ASiP, when we’re taught to associate John with his armchair.

Don’t mind me, I’m just crying. Basically, Sherlock knows that John is in danger and that’s what pulls him back from the brink – and we know it’s serious, because Mycroft, the brain, is warning him. Via call.

The fear of Moriarty coming back might sound like a tenuous symbol for John being in danger, but when we probe deeper the two are actually quite obviously equivalent. The only threat that Moriarty has ever posed to Sherlock is a threat to John’s life – the Semtex, burning the heart out of him, John Watson is definitely in danger, the sniper at the fall. This is Sherlock’s pressure point, and by getting rid of Moriarty, he’s getting rid of any danger to John – we know from his drug abuse etc. that his regard for himself is much lower. So Sherlock being woken from the dead to save John makes complete sense. He died for him, and now he’ll resurrect himself for him.

There are several layers to how John is in danger – the bottom one, which for me s4 is about getting to the heart of, is that without Sherlock John is suicidal. This was established in ASiP, and I believe is the metaphorical plot of TLD (see Chapter 9 X). However, there’s also the problem of Mary, newly discovered as an assassin, and Sherlock trying to work out who she is and where she comes from – more on that later, but there’s certainly a chance she’s linked to Moriarty, given the Morstan/Moran connections. ‘Did you miss me?’ works for both of those layers – the danger John is in from criminals is something that was really apparent in s1 and 2, but John’s endangerment from suicide is also something that was there at the beginning of the series. Sherlock changed these things – and didn’t realise he was the changing factor, but something in his subconscious is telling him that with him gone, John Watson is once again in danger.

So, his plane comes back to the runway – still in his mind palace, of course, but coming down. TAB – of which more on later – seems to be about the return of Moriarty, and Sherlock puzzling through it, which is jarringly absent from TST and TLD if you’re reading it on a surface level – it takes TAB for Sherlock to puzzle through this and to pull him down from death, as he comes to understand the Moriarty threat. This all sounds pretty vague – the TAB chapter will deal with it in more detail. For now, let’s move on to the other places where the height/heaven metaphor comes into s4.

One thing that several meta-writers have pointed out is that Ella’s office is… fucky. It’s not the same office as John repeatedly visits outside the MP – it’s possible that Ella has moved premises, but it’s a weird thing to draw such obvious attention to by the weirdness of the room. This isn’t a subtle change, like John and Mary’s place, it’s a really dissonant one, and the oddness of the room pulls our attention towards a character and space that by rights belong in the background of the story. It’s a really odd move – and that’s why I’m so convinced that it’s important.

It looks like Heaven, for want of a better description. The window with the light streaming through looks like the very top of a church window, and the beams suggest that the ceiling is like a kind of spire – and the spire in a church is meant to be closer to heaven, that’s part of the imagery. So there’s that side of things, and I really don’t think that’s a coincidence. However, the even weirder part is the partitioning of the room, for want of a better word. The wall ends at about chair height, and from there to the floor is – nothing? These aren’t mirrors because the chairs aren’t reflected. I have never seen a room partitioned like this, and nor has anyone I’ve shown the image to – again, it draws attention to itself. If the creative team had wanted us to take this scene at face value, they would have put Ella in an office. This is not a psychiatrist’s office. The partitions mean that it isn’t even private.

I don’t know if I’m right about the partitions, but there’s only one thing they remind me of, and that’s a closing door. It’s a trope in an adventure film – I first saw it in Indiana Jones, but it’s in many a movie. It also features in Doctor Who on multiple occasions.

It’s the moment when the door is coming down and you only have a few seconds to get under it, otherwise you die. Indiana Jones famously goes back for his hat. That one. That’s what the space under the partition looks like. Sherlock, thinking he’s solved the case of Norbury and therefore Mary (more in Chapter 7 X) is ready to pop off – he’s nearly gone. But in a moment of self-interrogation – making sure he got everything right, that John’s safe now – he realises he isn’t, and so he comes down. That sinking downwards is represented by the water imagery, as he sinks deep into his subconscious – LSiT has written a fantastic meta on water in S4 which you can read here X, as I’m loath to take credit for this idea!

I’m going to talk about water a lot more in the chapters on TFP, because of John in the well and pirates and so much, but the obvious thing to talk about now is the plane in TFP.

This is a point where surface level plot breaks down – because this cannot be in Eurus’s mind. When we watch film/tv, we make one of two assumptions – either we have the omnipotent view, like in most films, where we’re guided by the director but everything we see is ultimately objectively true, or we see through somebody else’s eyes (rarer). These can be played with – think of a film like The Usual Suspects (please skip to the next paragraph if you haven’t seen this film because it’s fantastic) where the film lets the viewer rest on their laurels and slip into normal, objective viewing patterns when of course it’s a subjective, flashback narrative, which Kevin Spacey is deliberately obscuring to trick an audience. This rug pull can be fantastic, but we don’t have such a rug pull here. Either it’s a poor man’s version, or there’s something else going on. Mug drop.

New paragraph – spoilers gone. Moments where the perspective was actually subjective and we missed it or forgot it are great rug pulls, because the clues are there but we don’t spot them. We love a good unreliable narrator. This isn’t the case here. The plane scene, as visualised, exists only inside Eurus’s head. Eurus is emphatically not our narrator during TFP, so when it comes out that the girl on the plane isn’t real, we just feel lied to.

If we accept that s4 takes place inside Sherlock’s MP, this makes more sense, because all of the characters are manifestations of different parts of Sherlock’s psyche and so he can jump between perspectives. It also means that the terror of being on a crashing plane that Eurus has felt ever since she was a child is not hers – it’s Sherlock’s. If we remember that planes are synonymous with dying in this show, an association that’s reinforced because of the “sleeping” people on the plane, a clear throwback to the dead passengers in ASiB, the climax of S4, when Sherlock is trying to save John and work out his repressed memories, is all fuelled by a child’s nightmare of dying, a terror that has resurfaced.

I think Eurus represents Sherlock’s queer trauma, and I’ll explain that in more detail in Chapter 5 X, which is completely devoted to Eurus. Her representing trauma, though, makes a great deal of sense in this situation. The problem of the plane, the threat that she hinges on, is one that has been repeating and repeating, though repressed, inside Sherlock’s consciousness, and he breaks through it with not only kindness, but the recognition that it is all in Eurus’s (and by extension his) head.

This doesn’t diminish the trauma that Sherlock experiences – one of the things I begrudgingly like about the ending of TFP. Sherlock can’t get rid of the problem and possible danger that is his trauma – but he can stop it from careering to the point of destruction by recognising it, he can learn to live in harmony (see the violin duet) with it, he can accept its existence. Pushing through that trauma is what makes him able to abandon the plane and (we hope) return to the real world.

The positioning of the aeroplane problem in relation to the John-trapped-in-a-well problem is also pretty important. I’m of the firm belief that Eurus represents queer trauma, and this is the trauma that throughout the entirety of series 4 is both pushing him towards John and blocking him from him. Sherlock needs to wake up to save John, and has to push through the trauma to recognise this – but the trauma is blocking his way. She’s stopping him from helping John – it’s a terrible moment when Sherlock is telling John that he’s busy whilst John is drowning in the well – but it’s also pushing through the aeroplane moment that allows him to save John in the MP. This is the paradox of queer repression, right, and the paradox in Eurus’s behaviour – she’s simultaneously blocking Sherlock and leading him on to the solution.

When Sherlock finally reaches Eurus’s room, he tells her that he’s on the ground and he can bring her down too – and what is most striking is the way Eurus is sitting. She’s actually incredibly grounded, sitting cross-legged on the floor, and given that the house is burned it’s likely that this is the ground floor as well. The dark room is a far cry from the bright lighting of the plane – everything suggests that she’s been pulled back. And of course, the lovely touch that all she needs to do is open her eyes. That’s all the creators have ever been asking people to do – open their eyes to what is hiding in plain sight – and Eurus is allowing Sherlock to see things afresh for the first time. But also, this final breakthrough is what’s going to allow Sherlock to open his own eyes, right? So that phrase is doubly powerful.

And there was me hating on TFP for three years. That’s a brief journey through the highs and lows of series 4, though if anyone can explain the planes in TST to me that would be wonderful! The next chapter will do a run through of HLV before we move onto TAB and series 4.

#chapter two #look up here i'm in heaven: the height metaphor #thewatsonbeekeepers #emp theory #on we go!#tjlc #meta #my meta #mine #johnlock #bbc sherlock #bbc johnlock

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aseriesofunfortunatejan · 5 years ago

Photo

(I don’t know how safe it is for me to post this but basically-- I mean no harm, take my word for it)

Here is my (very) quick attempt at understanding why I don’t like this sprite of Amami. Why-s and how-s (etc.) under the cut!

Having been doing Danganronpa sprite commissions for what? Three years now? And having been regularly looking at sprites for my useless analyses and useful translations, I’ve come to realize the official sprites are very flawed - as we all are - in a way I personally can’t overlook, which is why I simply don’t like them anymore.

When upset by the topic because I’m trying to use them as reference for a pose and find that it makes no sense and my animation teacher would destroy me if I tried to turn in a drawing like that (granted he’s not very nice), I usually bring up V3′s sprites as my arch-nemesis.

It’s extremely obvious they were rushed and most, to me, are simply displeasing to look at. Comparing them to UDG’s sprites, for instance, does them a huge disservice - UDG has my favourite sprites by far and I don’t think that’s a boiling hot take. They have different types of flaws that go from weird positions to weird proportions passing by awful hands and spots the artist forgot to colour in. Some are more obvious than others - some I could see immediately and some others I only understood after trying to remake the same pose properly for a while. When it comes to this specific sprite of Amami... Well, I always knew I hated it, but it was always hard to pinpoint why exactly.

Amami’s design is overall beautiful and most of his sprites manage, in spite of their flaws, to show off his bad-boy kind of beauty very well. His facing sprites, that is, because almost every other pose (3/4 or profile) he strikes looks genuinely disgusting to me. (Which is extremely disturbing to me because I may or may not have a crush on this fictional character.) This one sprite in particular is my least favourite and I was interested in understanding why, which is why I tried to edit it in a way that’d let me find out how it could look better.

Now keep in mind that writing all of this is taking me more time than I spent actually editing the sprites (because writing is fun). If I’d spent more time studying it, I would probably have changed a lot more details about it: most notably his trousers’ folds, which I think make no sense (I did think about editing them a little but I’m also a novice when it comes to folds, so it probably wouldn’t have been *that* much better in the end - I definitely don’t claim to be magically great at things a professional artist visibly struggled with) but I might also have played around the position of his arms and his hair, as they’re usually what I end up disliking about most DR sprites (that being said, I didn’t, so maybe they’re not that bad at all). On that note, you can probably see where exactly I cut some parts because I literaly edited them in a few seconds.

Now that this is all said and done, here’s what I found out:

- In terms of height, the proportions of this sprite are near perfect. Looking at his oddly small-looking legs, I assumed at first the upper-body to legs ratio would be off or something, but it’s actually really good. “Perfect” can rarely be applied to the proportions of a stylized drawing, but I can at least safely say there’s no ground for criticism regarding that part.

- My least favourite part of this sprite is the jaw. I’m judging by the amount of relief I felt when turning the “edit” layer on and off. I was very careful to use a reference of a man’s jaw and even though it’s quite the tiny edit, I find it reeeaaally satisfying. I really thought I was going to change his whole face and this sufficed to make me happy.

- I don’t know how I feel about his face. Sounds weird but okay. As I just said, I thought I would edit it a lot more, but as I tried, I found that nothing I did looked any better than the official one. I did sorta like the look of turning his eye a little bit but I’m guessing it’s subjective taste and cannot be identified as a “fix”-- but at the end of the day, I still think it looks a little off, but can’t put my finger on why or how it could be better. To be honest, profiles are hard to pull off and especially to stylize, and I can’t do it for shit, so... While I really like when my 60€ game has pretty drawings in it, I guess I can’t fault this sprite for having an awkward-looking profile?

- Legs too small lol. While I discovered they didn’t lack in length, I confirmed his legs could handle being a little t h i c k e r. It may look at first like I made his butt bigger (which is a very valid edit imo) but I actually made his pointy butt just a liiiiiittle bit thinner. The thighs are what really changed. I’m not saying Amami needs bigger thighs, but editing them this way made the whole drawing feel more stable to me, and his t-shirt look a little bit less like it was made out of solid plastic. I also think his feet could handle being a little bit bigger, assuming that he’s a cis man.

- I mean, Quasimodo is valid. But while I didn’t search for a reference that would correspond to this pose exactly, I’m pretty sure your arms... don’t... do that. In any case, I feel like my quick edit contributed to the sprite’s stability as well.

I also forgot that one of his rings isn’t closed off for whatever reason.

Anyway, that’s about it. I’m sorry about this long post and I don’t really assume anyone cares, I’m mostly writing this for myself because, again, editing this was pretty satisfying.

If anyone else is interested in the topic, though, I’d like to hear your opinions! What would you change about this sprite, or maybe another specific sprite you don’t like? What do you and don’t you like about my edit of this one? When it comes to stylized art, everyone draws the line of what’s part of the style and what’s too much in a different place. I’m always interested in hearing where that line is and what type of art someone likes!

(PS: I could most likely have edited his legs and butt a little less thick as this might give him a bit more of a feminine figure but uuuuuuuuuuuuuuh)

#danganronpa #danganronpa sprite edit #rantaro amami #amami rantarou #amami rantaro #rantarou amami #ndrv3 #long post #jan essay

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voidgremlin · 4 years ago

Text

What letters are.

DW Exchange 2020 gift to @not-jodie-yet

This is tricky.

This exercise is difficult and I would like to inform Dr Jones, if she ever read those (she promised she wouldn’t) that it is difficult and not nice to ask me to work overtime.

As part of my therapy I was asked to write my thoughts down and this is hell.

I’m telling you. Giving me homework to do was not part of the plan. I didn’t dropped out to have stuff to do now. Even tho I did not dropped out on purpose.

It is supposed to help with my weird history, putting words on feelings and emotions, on moments of my life. I did tell her that some instant of my life are nearly metaphysical but she chuckled. I don’t think she believed me but according to her, some dude with a pair of glasses, my time with you was- Let’s say deeply eventful.

I will get to it.

So I tried to do it at first, write it down but… Writing to no one is a little difficult. There’s no one you could imagine listen to you, answer, help you through those ideas. If I do not address those letters to someone, maybe the one who will read it will judge me harshly. And… I don’t want that. I want to be able to say the things I wanted to say. So…

So I thought of you.

Actually I always think of you. It is a little hard to explain. But I will.

So letters ! This is the first one so sorry if it is a little… Non-sense.

Hello Doctor,

This is Rose Tyler, I hope you remember me. I was the annoying girl who helped you with the nestene consciousness. Ring a bell ?

Jokes aside I do hope you are still remembering me. In some way. We- did not talked things through like we should have. And I guess it makes our story an open ended book ? Forever.

That is not a good thought all thing considered. Let’s change of subject.

Letters are… Uhm… No, no, no… Let’s try again. Letters of the alphabet will compose words that we will speak and that makes sentences and… Sentences makes and moves worlds. Shaping it to something more, something better, something clever.

I think that’s what your words did to me Doctor.

I will get to it.

Doctor. Isn’t it weird that a title became a name so familiar on my tongue ? I have now hard time to go to a medical professional without feeling weirded out, I cannot call them Doctor.

Doctor, The Doctor this is your name. No one else.

See even here I can’t say it, write it at least. Weird no ? Well maybe not so weird. It’s like Rose, it was the name of a flower before being my own. But now, for myself and the people in my life, my world. Rose is not a flower, it is me. When they see a Rose, they might think of me and like that I have changed the world. Isn’t it crazy ?

You would say that: of course, I am one of the most important being in the world. Unique. Brillant even but sometimes it doesn’t feel like it. I still struggle with daily issues, normal issues, earthly ones like with groceries, parking tickets and the occasional toaster that refuse to function well. All of this despite working to save the universe. This universe at least.

By the way, this job, while not as fun as travelling with you of course, is one of the weirdest job I got and I worked in retail !

I think I explained to you how retail worked but I am not sure I explained it well or if you listened. It is alright if you didn’t. This was a boring explanation like… Well… Retail.

Anyway, do you know how many times I got send a document from whatever alien nation that is willing to communicate with Earth and got asked to translate it ? (Because for some reason the translation matrix from your TARDIS is still active ? I think it reshaped my brain.) Well I got documents so many times ! Sometimes it’s nothing diplomatic, it can be just advertisement: like this one time when I got one for something called Jud-Un ! It must be to shine horns or something. Didn’t understood on how it would work (and our Earthly Rhinos doesn’t need those. Do they ?)

Anyway, my point is someone should teach humans of the twenty-first century new alien languages, my job is only to kick ass and do weird action hero poses, not translate stuff ! But find me a teacher from the future that would accept going in the past and teach primitive humans how guttural a Judoon sounds. Future people are so snobby, they would never accept. When I proposed the idea some people in the agency told me that I could be the one doing it but honestly I don’t think I should be the one doing this kind of stuff. I am not made to be a teacher. The poor students ! Imagine their faces if me, a blonde drop out, would teach them how to speak Silurian. Terrible.

Or terribly funny. Now that I think about it, it does sounds pretty funny. I should do it at least one day. I will tell you about it in my next letter. I promise.

I want to say to you is that.

You made an impact on my life. Changed everything I was. For the better or the worst according to some people. I don’t agree to that statement. You didn’t meant to make anything worse. But… Sometimes intention doesn’t count.

I don’t really know.

Remember that date we had ? Wasn’t really a date, you told me it was an exploration of the unknown and the fantastic. But it was a fancy restaurant owned by this pirate man ? I think. I am pretty sure he explained his whole backstory to us but my memory of it, is kind of blurry. Or I just didn’t paid attention. I was watching someone else…

I do think it is a date though, I don’t know for timelord’s standard but for Rose’s standard it is. I remember how excited you were, dragging me to this underground place, the entrance looked like a cave and we went down and down following this guide pirate blabbering about how this was shaped by his great-great-great-32 times more great grandfather to reach a groundwater table and the poor dude dug a little too deep and ended up just below the water. Here he made the decision to make something else of his tunnel.

And it was at this moment, that he showed us the place. A cave with tables and red carpet, under a dome glass that showed the inside of the groundwater.

Do you remember it ? Neon Jellyfishes that with its bright lights illuminated the whole place. It was… Beautiful. Gosh how beautiful it was. The soft lights illuminating your face and smile and the soft hum of the rock below us. We were at the center of the Earth. Eating dinner and observing creature of the big deep. Of course it went sideways, with a murder mystery but…

You showed this to me and I still dream about this sometimes. Holding your hand under those creature of the sea. Those images are part of me now.

I hope you showed this to only me. Because otherwise I will rescind our friendship card.

Friendship uh? That is one way to call it.

I had friends who became lovers and lovers who became friends. And I have you.

And you are something else entirely.

You are… Impossible to describe. So vast, so wonderful. So clever and funny. I mean you are literally magic ! You travel to everywhere and nowhere. You give people hope, solutions to problems bigger than just you. And definitely bigger than just me.

And I was part of it. I still am, in some way. Part of it. Not the same level, not the same grandiose and definitely not the same taste to victory.

It was special with you. It was personal, it was beautiful and we won. We won so many times. We made them smile, we made them hope of better tomorrows and sometimes we kicked butts.

We knew secrets to the universe, while people kept running around blindly. We know so much more. And we helped. Somehow.

I miss this, this superiority, this knowledge of the future or of technology that made our adventures a lot less like stumbling on something new but like opening a gift and enjoy what was inside.

It is not quite like that now, similar but… I don’t know much. I know enough to get me out of tricky situations, not enough to help everyone else.

Do not worry, I will learn.

I do not love you for only those adventures but also on how you see me, you watch me try to make an union in outer space and I know you have this goofy smile and this pride. You gave me opportunities to prove myself, to be kinder when I didn’t thought possible before. To be more clever, showing more than one way to be intelligent. And I … I thank you for that. I always had it in me but I didn’t saw it before you saw it for me.

I think that’s who you are. In all your default and weirdness and pain. You always dig for something of worth in other. Putting it on the forefront, making it part of our identity, fully.

Making us more.

Making me, Rose Tyler again but with more pride in my voice. Those gifts are… priceless to me. And I can see the future with more faith in myself, not being let down by any bumps on the way. I know I can do it. I know. I will do it.

I just wish to do it with you by my side. Seeing you smile is addictive and seeing you proud and happy is such a beautiful goal.

Your smile sometimes light up more than one face.

You trusted me with so many things, so many secrets. And I trusted- trust you with so many of mine. I don’t think I can do that with anyone else. You were my person. You are my person. And I still hold the wish to see you again. Just for that one smile.

I am sorry, it ended that way. I was maybe too daring or maybe it is just fate. In the end I am not stuck in a bad place… Just a place without the Doctor. With less magic.

It ended abruptly, our call, last call. And I wanted you to say it. Make it real with your magic words that shapes universes. You couldn’t.

I guess that is what I want ? A way to close our story ? Make all the hardship and difficulties and joy and happiness means something ? Because to me. They meant the world. They were my world. But It won’t make any sense without you reciprocate at least a part of those feelings.

Can you say it ?

Can you tell me what you wanted to say ?

Can you give me …

Nevermind.

In hope that this letter find you well and loved.

You have, my dearest Doctor, all my love and all my wishes for better tomorrows in your future.

Rose Tyler.

Dear Ms Tyler.

Rose ? How does ? Hell hold on. I am struggling with the voice to text option. It is hard to find words. I will just… Two seconds, I will get rid of this and type it down like a human. Seriously guys you should develop telepathy one d-

Done.

Dear Rose,

I have no idea how you managed to send this letter or if you meant to send it to me, through parallel universes. I do not know how and it worries me, please confirm in some way that all is well on your side of the multiverse.

I am pleased to hear that you are well and seeking a medical professional, it is good. And do not worry about the non-sense of the letter. I really make sense myself, in real life. So we are even.

You are right, I do think of you when I see a rose as well as any orange tabby cat. I think of you. You shaped my universe in so many little ways. Who knows how much ripple effect it will have in the future. Maybe I will be a blonde just like you. (Again but with more hair styles).

We will see.

Rose Tyler inter-spacial translator ! My dear you have so many talents ! I won’t be surprised if one day they tell me you are the president of the universe. It is so amazing that you are able to do such things ! And please tell me how the class of Ms Tyler went ! I want to know about it !

I remember it, the neons jellyfish, the cave. It was beautiful and you were beautiful. And it was not a date just… Okay well maybe it was a date. But … This location is only between us. I haven’t shared this with anyone. It was a good moment, a beautiful moment. And I want to keep it between us.

Rose, you are many good things. You are kindness, Fun and love. You are impossibly brave, wonderfully gentle and clever. My Rose, you are everything to me. You helped me through so much hurdles.

But my life is long and tortuous, many people to love, many people who loved me. Loss, Found and everything in between. Words doesn’t always encompass, the feelings or the memory it should carry. That’s I don’t say the things that should be said and drown everything else with words.

You know me. Enough at least to not need things to be said. But what happened did not just put us apart, it also, as you as said, ended our story and you are right. Now is the time where things need to be said. Truthfully, openly. With honesty.

My dear Rose, I want to say, that in all our moments together, there is not one I cherish less than the other. That you are part of me and you will always shape my world in some ways, no matter how far away in time we are apart. I will carry you with me forever.

Rose Tyler, words on the paper will not share all the weight of my care for you and the wish to see you again and well. I will keep this hope until I am not of this world.

In hope that this letter reaches you, in some way and that no cataclysmic event is about to happen.

Rose Tyler, I love you.

Your Doctor.

#dwexchange2020 #dwfanexchange #dw #doctor who #tenrose

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rolorules · 4 years ago

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A Very Ashford Christmas

This story harkens back to an older fanfic and is more or less consistent with it. If you don’t know Duncan from the show, that is not a surprise because he is what you call an OC these days.

“So you’ve finally overcome your adversity to costumes, I see.” Duncan said with a tone of satisfaction.”

“I wouldn’t say that.” Rolo replied, “I’m wearing it to humour the president.”

“I see. Naturally, the party was her idea.”

“In a way, but her original plans were a little different.”

“Now I’m curious. Come on, spill the beans.”

“Alright, so shortly after my brother’s birthday, Miss Milly approached me, and the conversation went like this:”

Duncan grinned when Rolo imitated Milly’s exuberant and bossy manner.

“Oh ROLO, what a coincidence, I wanted to talk to you anyway.”

“Miss President, what can I do for you?” Rolo as Rolo of the past said in his normal voice.

“I am planning our annual Christmas celebration at Ashford.” Milly-Rolo said. “And this year I’d like to do a nativity play. Seeing that you have such a sweet and innocent look - “

“Oh please, no.” Rolo-Rolo thought out loud.

“I want you to play the reindeer!”

“The WHAT?”

“So I tried to explain to her that -” present-day Rolo went on, but his explanation was drowned by Duncan’s roaring laughter, which continued for at least five minutes.

“Religion is really in the crapper in this country.” Duncan said, wiping tears of laughter from his eyes.

“Amen, brother!” Rolo remarked drily, “but anyway -”

“The UNholy Britannian Empire!”

“I get it, Duncan, I get it. So ANYWAY, I explained to her that a nativity play is obviously not what she thinks it is and suggested an ordinary Christmas party instead. And she agreed.”

“Good call. But she still wanted you to play the reindeer, apparently.”

“Unfortunately yes.” Rolo nodded, his antlers shaking sadly.

“Cheer up, pal. The costume looks good on you.”

“Thanks. So does yours, just that in your case it isn’t a lie. You really look the part.”

And Rolo was right. The pointy tips glued to Duncan’s ears, the green tunic and the green pointy hat, in combination with his curly hair of dark ginger made him look as if he had come fresh from the North Pole.

“Gee, thanks. I normally use this for cosplay, but I just had to tie a tiny bell to the hat, et voilà, I’m a Christmas elf.”

“Well then, Mr. Elf, maybe you want to join our little performance?”

“There’s going to be a play anyway?” Duncan asked in surprise.

“Not exactly. Once Milly had got the reindeer thing straight, she wanted to sing the Rudolph song with us, in costume, of course, with a little dancing added for good measure.”

“Sounds amazing.” Duncan gave his trademark laugh, which was both perfectly sincere and good-natured. It had nothing of the haughtiness and cynicism that Lelouch’s laugh was often tainted with, amnesia or no. Rolo had found it annoying at first, but then he had started to slightly envy Duncan for it. “But I pass,” Duncan went on, “I suspect watching the show is more fun. Besides, as far as I can recall, there are no elves in ‘Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer’.”

“There are no angels in it either,” Rolo said with a hint of sarcasm, “but Rivalz is still going to play one. He already had his costume made when we changed plans, and now he insists on wearing it. And Miss Shirley also looks a bit like a female elf.”

“So who’s going to play Santa?”

“That would be the Prez. She is not wearing a beard or anything, but her outfit looks the most like Santa’s.”

“Figures.” Duncan nodded. “Does that mean you’re going to be Rudolph?”

“Oh no, thank goodness.” Rolo sighed in relief. “Miss Milly has 'chosen’ Big Brother for that. Rivalz has bought one of the red noses that clowns usually wear and has glued an LED to the inside. Big Brother is not happy about that, I reckon.”

“Seems like it!” Duncan said, pointing behind Rolo.

Rolo turned and saw Lelouch running towards them, dressed in a costume similar to his own.

“Hello Rolo’s Big Brother,” Duncan began, “I’m hap-”

Lelouch hurried past them, completely ignoring Duncan.

“Should we follow him?” the green-clad boy asked, watching Lelouch half-tumble down Ashford’s main stairway.

“No need to hurry.” Rolo replied. “Let’s give him a little head start.”

“Are you not worried that he might get away?”

“The one thing you have to know about my brother,” Rolo stated calmly, “is that he has no stamina at all.”

Lelouch was already halfway toward their apartment when he heard footsteps behind him. When he looked back, he saw an elf and a reindeer pursuing him.

“Traitor!” he muttered to himself, trying to increase his pace, but in vain. Within seconds the boys had caught up to him, grasped him and held him firmly. While they were trying to pull him back, Duncan said: “As I was trying to say: Hello, Rolo’s Big Brother! I’m pleased to finally meet you.”

“Who’s that, Rolo? A right busybody as I can see!” Lelouch grumbled.

That’s Duncan.” Rolo replied, “He’s a classmate -” He caught Duncan’s look. “He’s a friend of mine.”

“Nice to meet you,” Lelouch exclaimed, “I don’t like you already.”

“Don't be mean, Big Brother. Come on, let’s go back to the others. They depend on us and we cannot let them down.”

Willy-nilly, Lelouch allowed himself to be dragged back to the student council room by the two boys. When they arrived, Angel Rivalz greeted them by saying: “Just as I thought. We already started looking for you. Well done, you two.”

Shirley, who was wearing a pink Christmas outfit, said: “That’s so like you, Lulu. There’s no need to be embarrassed. It’s going to be fun. Come on, let’s rehearse one more time. Look, here’s some encouragement!”

There was a whiteboard in the room, on which Shirley had written “Ho ho ho, let’s go!”

“How original!” Rolo muttered under his breath. As the rehearsal was proceeding, he had a minor bout of stage fright, so he took a marking pen and changed the wording to “Please let me go!” and signed it “Rolo Lamperouge”.

“Don’t you dare!” a voice behind him yelled. As he looked around, an angry red-nosed reindeer was pointing a finger at him and said: “Back there you were preaching to me how we could not let everyone down. Now put your money where your mouth is!” Resistance was futile.

Before the show started, Shirley asked Duncan to take a photo of the cast, which he did. Rolo looked a bit lost and Lelouch refused to turn towards the camera, but he was satisfied with the result.

The performance was a huge success. Rolo was fortunate enough to have only one short solo part where he (as he was “all the reindeer”) had to tell his reindeer brother that he would “go down in history” (which was probably true). The students were cheering frenetically and gave them standing ovations. Rolo managed to sneak from the stage before anyone could ask for an encore.

Afterwards, the student council members handed out small gifts to the students and there was a huge get-together including Christmas karaoke, food and drink.

“Wasn’t that awesome?” Rivalz said to Rolo. “I can’t believe the red-nosed bastard wanted to bail on us!”

“Is that ‘non-alcoholic’ Christmas punch the same one we had on Halloween?”

“I think so.”

“Ah, that explains it.”

Finally, Rolo found Duncan.

“So did you like it?” Rolo asked.

“It was smashing.” Duncan grinned. “Staying at Ashford over Christmas was the best choice I’ve ever made. Correction: enrolling here was the best choice I’ve ever made. There’s always fun stuff going on around here. Don’t you think so, too?”

“Probably,” Rolo admitted. “Sometimes I’m surprised that there is any learning going on. But it’s certainly not boring.”

“All work and no play makes Rolo a dull boy.”

“I’m not dull,” Rolo retorted, “only focused.”

“Admit it,” Duncan grinned, “you also enjoyed the show.”

“Let’s say I didn’t hate it.”

The ginger elf beamed. “This school is doing you good, too. That’s obvious.”

“If you say so.”

“I do. So merry Christmas, Rolo. I hope your brother won’t be mad at you.”

“I don’t think so. He’s not one to hold a grudge, at least not against me.”

“Glad to hear it. Good night, then.”

“Night. Oh, and Duncan!?”

“Yes?”

“Merry Christmas!”

Later at night, two tired ex-reindeer were walking through the half-darkness towards their apartment.

“Big Brother?”

“Yes, Rolo?”

“Are you mad at me?”

“No, I’m not. Sorry for overreacting. I should be used to Milly’s whims by now.” Lelouch laughed. “That one time she wanted us to all dress as cats. Nobody knew what the point of that was.”

“Really? That’s weird. And a bit scary.”

“Agreed. Who knows what else she might come up with.”

“Are you mad at Duncan?”

“The elf? Not really. Actually, I’m pretty happy that you have someone you get along with in your class. You were a bit of an introvert when you came here, but you seem to have become much more open. I’m proud of how well you have managed to fit in, Little Brother.”

“Thank you, Big Brother.” Rolo said and was glad that the darkness covered his blush.

Lying in bed, Rolo was pondering all this. He did not consider himself a shy person. In his field of expertise, he felt extremely confident. But Ashford Academy had posed a number of challengers to him. Being part of a family was the first one. Fitting in as a student was the second. Meeting people’s expectations towards the brother of Lelouch Lamperouge was the third. Being able to hide behind the facade of a shy persona certainly came in handy. Still, Rolo felt that he had managed to face all these challenges successfully.

He was also confident that he would be able to face the challenge of Lelouch regaining his memory. But for now, being a student was fine with him. He liked birthdays (a lot), he liked Halloween and Christmas (he wasn’t sure about Valentine’s Day, though). He did not mind playing Lelouch Lamperouge’s little brother for a little longer either; in fact, he hoped that Lelouch would not regain his memories till after graduation - from university.

#Rolo Lamperouge #Code Geass #Christmas #lelouch lamperouge #Rivalz Cardemonde #Milly Ashford #Shirley Fenette

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miguel-manbemel · 4 years ago

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Aspects & Fanfics Ep. 39: Alone in the Dark

As it has been the norm lately, 14 days have passed and I present you with a new episode of the main narrative of the blog. In this episode, although I had made mentions of it in previous episodes, I fully start mentioning the quarantine and the effect it’s having on Thomas and the Sides, which is gonna be the base for this episode. Some of it is inspired on my own experience of being under quarantine in Spain, which is one of the countries that had the strictest confinements in all the world (we couldn’t leave the house at all except to buy first necessity goods, like basic food and medicines, and the penalty for breaking the lockdown was of 400 euros, with the possibility of even going to jail) I know in America the confinement wasn’t that strict (at least I read they let people get out to do some exercise, always keeping social distancing) but a confinement is a confinement anyway and when its as long as this one, it can take a toll on anyone, including character Thomas. That’s what I’m exploring in this episode. I hope you enjoy it and I’m leaving you with it now. Until next time.

SYNOPSIS: It’s been four months of confinement. Thomas is feeling very lonely, even hopeless, so he calls Joan. They give him the idea of visiting him in the Mind Palace since now they can enter from any physical location at their own free will, and so they both meet there. Roman visits them and soon they realize he’s not feeling well at all, and it doesn’t help matters that Thomas once again gets possessed by his Dark Master self, threatening to wreak havoc all over the Mind Palace.

WARNINGS: Mentions to lack of hope, sickness and the possibility of death. Romantic prinxiety, dukeceit and logicality. Remus and Janus make some innuendo references.

In memory of the great acting lady, Dame Olivia de Havilland (1916-2020), one of the best actresses of the last century. May she rest in peace and her work never be forgotten.

EPISODE INDEX

[Thomas is playing video games in his living room. He seems to be struggling on a difficult level. When he was almost on the verge of finally completing it, he’s beaten out]

THOMAS: [yelling] MOTHERF… [bleep] [bleep] you fu… [bleep] [bleep] [bleep] son of a fu… [bleep] b… [bleep] [bleep] [bleep]

[the screen pauses. Patton’s voice is heard off-screen]

PATTON: Don’t adjust your TV sets, kiddos. Your speakers are totally safe and… sound.

LOGAN: [voice in the distance] Holy sh… [bleep]

PATTON: Logan, please, get your bleeping act together! As I was saying, Thomas is just going through a fit of inappropriate language to vent out his frustration over having to restart that level he’d worked so hard on. Remember, kiddos, it’s not nice to use this kind of language at home. Use instead clean alternatives like “Dadgummit”, “Son of a bee-sting”, or my favorite, “What the fwah?”

REMUS: [voice abruptly interrupting Patton’s voice] Naaah, to the f… [bleep] with that! These words are in the English dictionary so why the f… [bleep] shouldn’t we use them? Let people express themselves however they f… [bleep] …ng want, Patton! Okay, I just wanted to leave that there, go on with whatever boring voice-over you were doing. See ya!

PATTON: [loud sigh] As I was saying, signal will be resumed ten minutes after Thomas calms down so your ears don’t suffer any longer. Roman, if you don’t mind, could you serve us a flash-forward, please?

ROMAN: [off voice] At your service, Patton! Rolling title screen, before the green goblin decides to come back!

[intro sequence]

THOMAS: [still angry but more calm] What is up, everybody? [sighs] Sorry about earlier. I shouldn’t have reacted as verbally angry as I did, and I apologize. It’s just that this quarantine thing is driving me crazy. I know it’s the right thing to do and that it’s hard for everyone and that it is our duty to comply, because everybody’s health, even lives, are at risk, so I’ve complied without fail. I only got out when strictly necessary to buy food, hygiene products, or medicines if I needed them, always wearing my mask and keeping social distancing, and I stayed home otherwise. But it’s been four months already and… every day is harder than the previous and… I also miss hugging my friends and family. I must endure, I know, that’s what I keep telling myself all the time. I thought, as an introvert, this would have been much easier, but one thing is avoiding social contact because you want to and another thing is being deprived of social contact by someone else. I never thought I would say this, but… I miss social contact, every day more. [sighs] Sorry about this rant. I have no one to talk face to face like that, so… yes I have my Sides, but they are me, so it’s not the same… I think I need to talk to Joan. Maybe I should call them. They always have that word of wisdom that helps me see the light in any situation, like all best friends do. I’ll call them. I hope they’re not too busy… Oh, what am I saying? We’re all confined at home, they’re as busy as I am right now.

[Thomas picks up his phone and calls Joan. After a couple of seconds, Joan picks it up]

JOAN: Hi dude.

THOMAS: Hi Joan.

JOAN: What’s up?

THOMAS: Nothing, really. I just needed to hear your voice… Wow this sounded way different in my head, I…

JOAN: It’s okay, I got it. Are you okay, Thomas?

THOMAS: To be honest, I’m kinda feeling like a mess right now. I’m getting a fit of longing for speaking to someone face to face. You’re lucky you’re spending quarantine with Talyn, at least you got each other to hold each other’s back. But I’m feeling so alone in my house right now… I’m sorry I’m venting on you. I don’t want to make you feel as down as I am right now…

JOAN: It’s okay, Thomas, that’s what friends are for and I’m happy to listen to you when you’re feeling bad, just like you listen to me when I’m in your place.

THOMAS: Thank you, Joan.

JOAN: Say, I suddenly got an interesting idea.

THOMAS: What is it?

JOAN: You know, I cannot go there in person to cheer you up, no matter how much I’d wish to do so…

THOMAS: I’d truly wish you to come here in person too. [sighs] but I guess that can only happen in my imagination right now…

JOAN: You read my mind, Thomas.

THOMAS: What?

JOAN: Have you forgotten? Thanks to us synchronizing our brainwaves I can enter inside your Mind Palace any moment, from any physical location. Why don’t we hang out in your Mind Palace so we can see each other face to face?

THOMAS: Oh, my goodness… that’s the best idea you’ve ever had, and you’ve got a lot of great ideas! But wouldn’t it be dangerous because of the virus?

JOAN: I don’t think so. I never heard of a virus spreading inside imagination. Have you? Besides, you said that Sides don’t get human diseases. I presume that also goes for people in the Mind Palace. It’s worth a try, at least. Don’t you think?

THOMAS: I think you’re right. Let’s try. Are you ready?

JOAN: I’m already concentrating. Hang up the phone and I’ll see you there.

THOMAS: Got it!

[Thomas hangs up the phone. Then he concentrates and sinks down. He rises up in a random room in the Mind Palace. After a couple of seconds, Joan rises up next to him]

JOAN: Hi, Thomas.

THOMAS: [happy] Joan! I’m so happy to see you in the flesh, you don’t have an idea!

[Thomas gives Joan a hug. Then he summons a couch and they both sit down]

JOAN: So, how are you doing, Darude Sanderstorm?

THOMAS: Well, as I told you… I’m feeling a little lonely at the moment. And this quarantine thing seems like it’s never gonna end. It’s driving me mad. Literally.

JOAN: Thomas, don’t lose hope. This has to end some day. You’ll see how, when we least expect it, they’ll find an effective vaccine and we’ll finally wake up from this nightmare.

THOMAS: I’m trying to, Joan, but lately, my hope has become so frail.

[Roman rises up in front of them]

ROMAN: [princely pose and smile] Did someone say prince?

THOMAS: What? No… But hi, anyway, Roman.

ROMAN: [confused] That’s weird, I would have sworn that this time you wished to summon me for certain, so I came… Are you sure you don’t need me?

JOAN: Well, maybe you could be of help, Roman, now that I think about it. Sit down here, please.

ROMAN: Okay…

[Roman walks to the couch. When he’s almost there, he stumbles. Joan grabs him before he falls down]

JOAN: Whoa! Be careful, Roman!

ROMAN: [giggling nervously] Haha… I tripped… Thanks for grabbing me, Joan, you’re my hero.

JOAN: You’re welcome. [mumbles in confusion, looking at the ground] What did you trip on, anyway? There’s nothing on the ground… [normal voice] Are you okay?

ROMAN: [sits down next to Joan] Yes, I’m… I’m totally okay, don’t worry. Well, how can I assist you?

JOAN: Well, you thought we were calling you and in a way you were right. The truth is we weren’t calling you by your name, or by the name Princey or anything… But we were discussing about Thomas’ frail hope… And you are Thomas’ hope, aren’t you?

ROMAN: [sighs] I think I know where you’re going, Joan… Thomas, I’m so sorry.

THOMAS: Sorry? For what? I don’t understand.

ROMAN: I’ve been feeling a lack of strength lately that I cannot ignore any longer.

THOMAS: What? But you’ve been working as usual. I may have stopped proper filming, but I never stopped writing, much less imagining stories. I’d say you’re working as good as usual.

ROMAN: Not in the creativity department, but in the hope department. I’m doing my best, but I’m running out of strength to keep your spirits up and you’re feeling the effects of it.

THOMAS: Oh…

JOAN: Do you have any idea of why is it getting so difficult for you to maintain Thomas’ hope strong enough?

ROMAN: Well… Having to face the current reality of the outer world one day after another… it weakens me. I’m fantasy. I feed off from fantasy. But fantasy in turn is grown from reality. If good things happen in reality, good and bright fantasy is created and I become strong as I can be. But lately… reality is so harsh, so crude, so full of illness, injustice and… death… that the fantasy that grows from it is equally spoiled and rotten. So, to put it in a single word, in a way… I’m starving. I’m acting strong but I’m feeling so weak lately…

THOMAS: Roman, please, you don’t need to act strong.

ROMAN: Yes I do, Thomas, because you count on me. I’m your main tool for your work. You need me, and, as I told you once already, so long ago… I can’t let you down.

THOMAS: And I also told you that you could never let me down.

ROMAN: You keep saying that, but you and I know that’s not really true. I… I’m capable of failure. In fact… I’m prone to failure lately. And it scares me that one day you may need me and I just… won’t be able to deliver. If that isn’t happening already, that is…

[Virgil rises up]

VIRGIL: Why didn’t you tell me any of this, Roman?

ROMAN: Oh, Virgil, you were listening?

VIRGIL: I came here looking for you… I just happened to arrive mid conversation and I heard everything. So, again, why didn’t you tell me any of this, Roman? How am I supposed to support my husband if he doesn’t open up to me?

ROMAN: I’m sorry, Virge… I didn’t want to worry you… We already have too many things to worry about, with our child injured. As I said, I need to be strong to support you all, and…

VIRGIL: Do you think you are the only one who has to support our whole family? That’s too much weight over your shoulders! We’re in this together, remember? I’m here to support you as much as you are here to support me. It’s not like the first time we’ve had this conversation.

ROMAN: I know, but…

[Virgil sits down next to Roman and hugs him. At that point, Roman drops the act he had been performing up until that very moment, and Thomas shows a face of horror when he sees Roman’s real face of exhaustion, even emaciation]

THOMAS: Roman! You look horrible! You mean that’s your real face and you’ve been hiding it from us all this time!?

ROMAN: [weak voice] I’m the best actor in this Mind Palace… [ironic weak voice] You must recognize that I delivered the performance of my life… I was even able to disguise my legs failing me as if I had simply tripped. Also, makeup was really helpful too…

[Roman moves his hands around his face and the makeup he was wearing disappears. Now everybody can see the deep dark bags under his eyes and his white paleness]

VIRGIL: [horrified] Wow… You look more emo than I’ve ever looked in my whole life. That shadow under your eyes, I never had it so dark… and it’s not even eyeshadow, right? Are you crazy? You’ve put your life in danger! You should have told us this earlier, at least you should have told me!

ROMAN: What use would it have been anyway? This isn’t something that Thomas or any of us can fix by waving some magic wand. It’s the state of the world what has caused it and there’s nothing we can do about it. Do you mind if I lie on your shoulder, Virge? I’m feeling so tired right now…

VIRGIL: Of course you can. You need to rest. I don’t know how you’ve been able to act as if nothing was happening to you and no one would notice. Heck, I don’t even know how you’ve been able to walk at all.

ROMAN: I’m a great actor, as I told you… and the show must go on, right?

[Roman grabs Virgil’s hand]

VIRGIL: Goodness… Your hand is so cold. Heck, you’re literally freezing! [Virgil takes off his hodie and puts it over Roman’s royal suit, placing the hood over his head. Then he summons a purple blanket] Here, maybe this will warm you up. [Virgil hugs Roman closer to him and they both cover with the blanket up to the neck] I don’t know if my body warmth will be enough, but I’ll do my best to keep you warm.

ROMAN: [now shivering] Thank you, my love. Snuggling with you always makes me feel so nice.

THOMAS: Roman, I’m scared to see you like this. If only I could do something to help you.

JOAN: You can do something, indeed. Thomas, you must try to cheer up and focus on the positive things of life.

THOMAS: You do realize that’s not exactly the easiest thing to do in the current times, right?

JOAN: Yes, I know. But you must try to stop focusing on the negative, or else Roman will suffer the consequences. Not to mention that if you go on this route, you may end up falling in a depression.

THOMAS: [suddenly angry] That’s not something that I can exactly control, Joan! Don’t blame me! It’s not my fault!

JOAN: [weirded out] Nobody is blaming you for anything, Thomas.

THOMAS: [standing up, even angrier] Yes you are! You are all blaming me on what is happening to Roman, as if it was me who drained him of all his energy on purpose!

ROMAN: Thomas, calm down, nobody is…

THOMAS: [demonic voice, his eyes turn green] STOP PUTTING THE BLAME ON ME OVER EVERYTHING THAT HAPPENS IN THIS MOTHERF… [bleep] …NG MIND PALACE!

VIRGIL: Oh, no, something’s wrong again! This is the third time this happens!

JOAN: The third time? You mean this happened to him another time after the first one I saw it happen?

THOMAS: I’M TIRED OF HAVING TO TAKE CARE OF EVERYTHING IN THIS PLACE AND NOT RECEIVING ANYTHING OTHER THAN COMPLAINTS! F… [bleep] ALL OF YOU!

VIRGIL: But it had never lasted so long! Thomas, control yourself, please!

[Thomas starts screeching a demonic yell while his eyes start glowing in green and a whirlwind forms around him that pushes the others away from him. Virgil holds Roman tight, preventing him to fall from the couch, while he himself grabs to the couch with all his strength. Suddenly, Patton and Logan rise up, then Janus and Remus rise up too]

LOGAN: [yelling over the storm noise] What is happening!?

PATTON: My ears!

VIRGIL: Thomas suddenly went out of control! He’s being controlled by his Dark Master self again!

REMUS: Wow, I could never screech like that. It hurts even me! Somebody make him stop!

JOAN: [fighting the wind] I know I called him Sanderstorm, but this is ridiculous!

PATTON: I got an idea! I hope it works! If I can get past the wind, that is!

[Patton struggles, trying to reach Thomas’ hand. The wind unties his cat hoodie and it flies away, but Joan manages to grab it before it gets lost. Patton can’t go any further and is pushed back, falling down. However he immediately stands up and tries to reach Thomas again. After some heavy struggle, he manages to grab Thomas’ hand. At that moment, the wind stops, Thomas stops screeching and he shows a neutral, emotionless face. The glow in his eyes disappears, then his eyes start flickering in the colors green and blue. Finally, they go completely blue and he shows a peaceful face, while his eyes start glowing in blue]

PATTON: Is that you, Light Master?

LIGHT MASTER: [speaking through Thomas’ body] Yes, it’s me, thank you for giving me the strength to rein the Dark Master in for the time being.

PATTON: What is happening with Thomas?

LIGHT MASTER: I’m ashamed to admit it, but I underestimated the Dark Master’s power and maybe forcing him to join me in the Mind Palace Core was a bad idea after all. He’s trying to take control of Thomas as he always intended to do. He can’t take control completely while I’m here, but he’s trying to overcome me and we’re in a constant fight.

PATTON: Is there anything we can do to help you?

LIGHT MASTER: Not much, unfortunately, you can’t get into the Core, as that would destroy you. This is a fight I must do on my own, and I promise you I’ll never stop fighting him.

PATTON: But why is this happening to Thomas right now?

LIGHT MASTER: It’s everything that is happening in the outer world lately. The quarantine, the injustices in America and the rest of the world, the people that is suffering and dying for so many different things, the racism, the virus, the denial of healthcare… Thomas is losing hope and that is threatening the equilibrium in the Mind Palace. To put it in words easier to understand, it’s like he’s starting to believe that evil in this world is stronger than good, at least at the present moment, and as a result he’s starting to surrender to his evil self, making the Dark Master stronger than ever since he was “defeated”.

VIRGIL: There has to be something we can do!

LIGHT MASTER: Thomas is gonna need all the help in the world. Both from his Sides and from his friends in the outer world. He needs to be reminded of how much good there still is in his life and how much there is still in this world worthy to fight for. It’s not gonna be a quick process, so you must work on it on the long term, and the Dark Master will never lose his influence completely, as you already know, but the more you can lift his spirits up, the stronger his good self will be. Also, Roman is endangered.

VIRGIL: [scared] Endangered?

REMUS: [also scared] Wait, what is happening to my brother? [noticing Roman’s face of emaciation] Roman, what’s wrong?

LIGHT MASTER: You’ve seen how he is right now. Roman mentioned that he was starving. He intended to say figuratively, but unfortunately, he’s literally starving and no ordinary food can help him, he needs to feed on clean bright fantasy to save himself. If Thomas doesn’t regain the spirit he used to have, Roman will slowly get weaker and weaker until he’s no more.

REMUS: But I’m not feeling weak or starving at all? We are connected, anything that happens to him will happen to me. Why am I not as emaciated as he is right now?

LIGHT MASTER: As a matter of fact, Remus, you are endangered too. You’re not feeling the same as Roman because you don’t take care of Thomas’ hope, that’s all entirely Roman, and you’ve got plenty of dark fantasy to feed on, but if Roman perishes, as you know, you will perish too.

ROMAN: [weak voice] I’m sorry I’m dragging you into this, brother. I wish I could be stronger.

REMUS: [grabbing Roman’s hand with a face of determination] Never mind… we’ll figure something out.

LIGHT MASTER: And I’m sorry I keep on bringing bad news, but there’s more. If Roman and Remus perished, a new Creative Side would be created in the Core as Thomas needs Creativity in his life, but it wouldn’t be Roman or Remus, and of course, if Roman dies, Sandersia, and all its inhabitants, would disappear too, including Roland, your newly found Sandersian friends and the Sandersian body of Ira, who would be condemned to turn back into a Green Sprite again. So there are lots of lives at risk. You mustn’t fail, guys.

JOAN: We’ll do our best, at least our share of the task. Thomas is our best friend and we love him, we won’t let him down on this one.

JANUS: And we’ll also fight for him, like we’ve always done. You can count on us, Thomas. You too, Roman.

LIGHT MASTER: Thank you, Joan, thank you Janus. Thomas is very lucky of having such good and unconditional friends. Now I must go, my fight is never ending and I must continue the struggle. Don’t worry, after the boost of energy Patton has given me, Thomas will be okay after I’m gone, the Dark Master won’t take control of him at least for some time. Farewell, Joan. Farewell, Sides.

PATTON: Farewell, Light Master. Thanks for your advice.

[Patton drops Thomas’ hand. Then Thomas’ eyes turn back to brown]

THOMAS: Thank you, Patton. I was… so full of irrational anger and hatred. It was horrible. Thank you for rescuing me.

PATTON: [suddenly weak voice] You’re welcome, kidd… [Patton suddenly loses balance. Thomas and Logan grab him before he falls down] …oh…

LOGAN: [concerned] Patton, what’s wrong with you?

PATTON: It’s okay, my love. I’ll be all right. I just gave a lot of energy to the Light Master so that he could fight the Dark Master more efficiently. That was the plan, after all, and it worked. Now I’m feeling exhausted, but I’ll be okay in a couple of minutes if I rest. Let me sit down on the couch and I’ll be good as gravy in no time.

THOMAS: I hope so, I don’t want two Sides sick at the same time.

[Logan and Patton sit down next to Roman and Virgil. As the couch is now full, Janus summons two more couches on the sides of the existing couch and everyone sits down]

ROMAN: I’m sorry you guys had to interrupt your honeymoons…

REMUS: Don’t sweat it. Your health is more important, Ro. Many lives depend on it, including mine.

JANUS: And Thomas’ health is important too. If you need us, we’ll stay around. We’ll need to form a plan of action to lift Thomas’ spirits up. It’s time for me to get back to work as your self-preservation, Thomas, and I’m coming in full strength.

JOAN: I’ll also get in contact with Dahlia, Dominic and the others. You better get ready for a good long Zoom call session. You’re gonna have a big bunch of Dahlia’s corny jokes until you can’t handle them anymore. And you know Dahlia has a lot of those jokes… and if they run out, she’ll find more.

THOMAS: [smirks] Yes, I know… Thank you guys, all of you. I don’t know what I would do without you. By the way, Roman, Virgil, where is Chris?

VIRGIL: Don’t worry, Chris has already got out of hospital, and he’s back to his bedroom in our room. Ian is taking care of him right now. He’ll be fine.

THOMAS: Still, he should know what’s going on with you, Roman.

JANUS: It’s okay, Thomas. Ian knows everything through our shared memory. At this point he’s informing Chris.

THOMAS: Okay, glad to know. Thanks, Jan.

REMUS: I hope you switched him off from your memories while we were out on our honeymoon. I mean, I personally don’t mind that he saw everything we did, outdoors and… [mischievous smile] indoors, but I wouldn’t want to disturb your brother… more than on average.

JANUS: [nervous] Remus, please, leave that topic for when we’re alone. And yes, I switched him off at those moments…

REMUS: [wiggling his eyebrows, with a naughty smile] Do I see blushing on your cheeks? Don’t tell me you’re embarrassed of talking about it. Come on, we’re all experienced adults in this room and I’m not so bad at that, am I?

JANUS: [a little angry voice, his human cheek now blushes heavily] Remus, the problem is that you’re… excessively good at that, so much so that I can’t keep up to your rhythm. And this conversation ends right here. We may be adults here, but there may be younger viewers watching, and maybe we can’t stop you from saying what you want whenever you want, but not even you could escape the power of outer censorship of this work of fiction, so zip it!

THOMAS: [face of shock, stuttering] Yes… please… I… I beg you… too much inappropriate innuendo… and too much meta too… [clears his throat] Okay, back on track. What are we going to do to help Roman in the short term? We can’t leave him like this, in this condition.

VIRGIL: Don’t worry, Thomas. I’ll take care of him. We’ll be heading to our room and I’ll make sure he takes some time to rest.

ROMAN: I don’t want to be a burden to you…

VIRGIL: “In health and disease”. I vowed to be there with you, and I’m fulfilling my vow, just like you would if it was me standing there sick, right?

ROMAN: I love you, Virgil. Did ever tell you that?

VIRGIL: Yeah, you did, but it never stops lifting my spirits up, so keep saying it, please.

[Roman holds Virgil’s hand and looks at him with the most loving glance in the world. Virgil kisses his forehead and then Roman kisses Virgil’s hand, with a tear rolling down his now dark purplish cheek]

THOMAS: Guys, when you give each other so much love… I feel so good and complete…

ROMAN: Thank you, Thomas, for rejoicing in our happiness.

THOMAS: It’s more than that. Before you all started dating, there were times in my life were I felt… I don’t know… alone in the dark, like there were times were I despised myself, and I know I have no reason to do that, but self-love is so hard to achieve and… [gasp of realization] …wait a minute, I think I get it. [smiles] Your love for each other, guys… feeds my self-love. You guys are me, so you guys loving each other is me loving myself. I…

[Thomas gets emotional and he starts crying]

ROMAN: I had never thought of that before… but you’re right. If we are you, our love for each other is your love for yourself. Wow, it’s beautiful if you put it this way.

PATTON: It also helps that we all love you, Thomas and we’d to anything for your well-being.

THOMAS: [cleaning his eyes] Sorry, guys, I got overwhelmed by emotion. I love you too, guys.

JOAN: We, the ones that are not part of you, love you too, Thomas, if I’m allowed to say it. I hope that helps you too in your quest for self-love.

THOMAS: Thank you, Joan, it really does. I’m happy to count on your friendship as always. And you know what? I’m feeling more hope than before already. Still not feeling perfect by any means, [singing the song from Tangled] “but at last I see a light”. Wow, it may be true that thing the Beatles said, that “all you need is love”.

ROMAN: It may be true, Thomas. I’m already feeling a little stronger, [singing the same song from Tangled] “and it’s like the sky is new”. Still have a long way ahead until I feel recovered, [theatrical princely voice] but we’ve started walking it. And nothing will stop us. Our adventure has only begun, and we’re gonna be victorious, both of us!

THOMAS: That’s the spirit, Roman. Now, to get some rest and gain strength to keep on walking. [to the camera] And to all of you out there, I hope you all find ways to work on your self love too. You don’t need to have Sides like I do, just remember that you are loved, that you are capable of loving, and that you are worthy of love too, and then you’ll be ready to start loving yourself, I know it’s not easy, but just one step in front of the other, and we’ll get there. Until next time, take it easy, guys, gals and non binary pals. Peace out!

[ending card]

[Thomas is in his living room, in front of his computer. He’s having a Zoom call with Joan, Talyn, Dominic, Dahlia and Kenny]

THOMAS: Wow, guys, I really missed this.

DAHLIA: Well, it’s not like you don’t already know we’re here for you. You can call us by videochat any time you need.

KENNY: Yes, you can count on us for any cyber-reunions like this one. I also miss all of my friends.

DOMINIC: Yes. We should try to make another video together like this. Thomas, Joan, you’ve got to think of something.

JOAN: I have already something in mind… but I need time to make it work. I’ll call you when it’s ready.

DAHLIA: Yeah, and in the meantime you can always count on your other friends, right, Tho…? [notices she’s messed up and covers her mouth]

KENNY: [confused] Other friends? What other friends? What did I miss?

[Dahlia looks at Thomas with a face of guilt, like apologizing without words. The other friends and Thomas show an awkward face]

KENNY: Guys… I suddenly feel like you all know something that I don’t. It’s fine if you want to keep it to yourselves, but this is making me feel a little weird.

[Logan appears next to Thomas, off-screen so no one in the chat can see him. Thomas looks at him with a face of angsty questioning, like telling him “What do I do now?” without words]

LOGAN: Well, it’s my opinion that the circle of people knowing your secret was already wide enough. But you know Kenny well. It’s your choice if you think you can trust him enough to tell him the secret. What does your heart say?

[Patton rises up too]

PATTON: I say let’s give it a try! If Kenny keeps the secret, there’s nothing wrong on him knowing, right? In fact, I would tell all of your close friends. I’d really love to be able to interact with them all, they’re all so nice people, it’s a pity we can only interact with them from within you.

LOGAN: Okay, Patton, one step at a time, let’s focus on Kenny first and we’ll make any future choices when we get there.

[Thomas nods, agreeing with Logan]

KENNY: Thomas, what are you looking at? Who are you nodding at? Is anybody there?

THOMAS: Sorry… I was having a discussion with my… friends.

KENNY: What friends? What discussion? What is going on here?

JOAN: So you’re gonna tell him? Okay, but Kenny, you must promise that you will keep the secret, for Thomas’ safety.

DAHLIA: I’m sorry you’re being forced to do so because of me, Thomas.

THOMAS: It’s okay, Dahlia. If Kenny promises to keep the secret, there’s nothing to fear, and I know I can trust he will keep this promise, right Kenny?

KENNY: And now it’s when I’m getting really confused… Okay, I promise to keep your secret, whatever that is.

THOMAS: Okay… [sighs and keeps going] Remember my videos where I portrayed different characters representing the different aspects of my one personality?

KENNY: The Sanders Sides? Yes, I do, remember that I lent you a hand to film some of the episodes. [smiles] You’re not gonna tell me now that these people are real and are living with you in your apartment right? [chuckles] That would be fun if you think about it…

THOMAS: [nervous giggle] Yes… it would be fun… [smile drops] and it is fun actually… or at least it usually is… Guys? Come here, please and show yourselves.

[Thomas makes a gesture to Logan and Patton to get closer to Thomas, and they do, getting in front of the camera and appearing on-screen. Kenny’s smile drops immediately, while the other’s friends smile nervously, timidly waving hello at the Sides]

LOGAN: Nice to meet you Kenny.

PATTON: [with a huge smile and voice of joy] Look at that Kenny Guy over there! I’m so happy to meet you at last, kiddo!

[Kenny is so in shock that he’s gone completely speechless]

THOMAS: Okay, firsts things first, don’t freak out, Kenny. I know this is gonna take some time to digest so let me tell you my… our story, but remember your promise.

[Kenny barely nods with the same face of shock, still unable to speak. Thomas sighs and starts putting Kenny up to date about the Sanders Sides]

#thomas sanders #sanders sides #character thomas sanders #roman sanders #virgil sanders #logan sanders #patton sanders #remus sanders #janus sanders #romantic prinxiety #romantic dukeceit #romantic logicality #sanders sides fanfiction #sanders fanfic #sanders sides fic #aspects and fanfics

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unordinary-analysis · 5 years ago

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Episode 171

Honorable mentions:

Blyke smiling at the beginning was so endearing I love him

I have to admit to you guys, I did read this episode when it came out and at the time I still had yet to write the episode 170 thing. Didn't affect me though so it doesn’t really matter lol

I want Darren to bring up Blyke’s injuries to Isen because he obviously thinks that Blyke got his injuries while fighting Isen, but whenever I want things like this to happen, they never do :(

Isen’s reaction to confrontation is always to hide

I can’t see Sera’s eyebags in this one that's a good sign

Not a lot of actual things to say about Sera learning about John’s past because we already know it and she’s just repeating things that other people have said

Evie getting attacked by Joker? I’m torn between thinking this is some prank and thinking that we’re getting the Sera/John confrontation right now. The whole call was just presented in such a strange way, I have no clue what that’s about?

finally getting on track with updates, hopefully they won’t always be a week late now r.i.p.

is it analyse or analyze because google docs says 1, but tumblr says 2

Have low expectations for this one, friends. But there is 0.1% substance in this post, so still worth it ;)

Somehow this got kind of long? This isn’t read through or edited, I just typed and posted

The fucking bruise:

I hope you don’t mind the obvious contrast in professionalism between this episode analysis and the one for 170, but the fuckkksufkhsk? Starting this off with Blyke’s confusion when he is significantly more healed than he was last night that it wouldn’t be possible for him to be so okay? You really gotta do me like that huh? Dropping a bomb like that so early on? But the thing about this is that I cannot think of a logical answer for this? I even considered that what he said just meant that doc got hella good at healing, especially because John has complimented doc on that a couple of times, but it was clear that that was not possible and not what was meant to be understood.

I’ve already apologized for lack of professionalism, so to hell with introductions and transitions: this implies one of two things:

Blyke has regenerative powers that are emerging from him now that he’s leveling up

Someone healed Blyke without him knowing

Starting with #1, the possibility of Blyke having healing powers of some kind at first looks like the more likely answer until you realize that Blyke’s ability is deadass “energy beam” and that makes no contextual sense. But this is the first thing that I, and I’m positive most of you, thought. It’s the most logical reason as to why Blyke went to sleep with noticeably worse injuries than when he woke up. I’m kind of stupid regarding abilities in UnOrdinary, so I’m not sure if this blend of two totally different powers is something special or different, but could you imagine how overpowered Blyke would be? That would be insane. And would give him a total edge over John, or anyone for that matter, because he has both an offense and a defense. The thing about this though is that I’m almost positive that this is wrong purely because I do not think Blyke would have healing powers along with his laser powers. Like I cannot see that happening and that fact makes me sad. But there’s just no way. Right? ???

But now #2: someone else did it. And, yes this looks a bit iffy at first, but that’s the second thing I thought of and I literally have nothing else so sit down. Anyway, this is also a very interesting option, so I’m hyped about that. Because if this is the case then that means it’s either Elaine, Tanner, John copying one of their abilities (this entire post is a bit of a stretch why can’t I include this huh), or an unknown character. But the thing is. However unlikely it is, I can’t help but wonder if this is Kuyo’s doing. We don’t actually know his ability yet and he was watching Blyke last night. I think this is probably the most possible thing I’ve said so far, and that’s saying something, but yeah. Otherwise, there’s really nothing I can think of because I can’t even imagine why someone would 1. Be able to find out Blyke was hurt and 2. Sneak into Isen’s room to heal him. Anyway, I’m just confused in general. Excited, but confused.

Call me stupid in the comments if I missed something else that this could mean because sometimes I just forget things or don’t think of things lol. And right now I especially feel like I’m missing something?

Sera:

Okay, it’s been weeks and I still get excited because Sera’s learning everything about John. For multiple reasons: one, because she’s known him since the beginning and everything she learns just hits that much harder and two, because she’s probably the character who is going the most in depth with her discovery. She’s for sure the character that has cared the most about knowing who John really is and I really think because of her investigation into John, we’re going to learn something new about him too, maybe if she goes online or something. Maybe she’ll remember something personal that John said and that Isen didn’t know about and she’s able to look online about it and finds something, wouldn’t that be heartbreaking because not only did John betray her, but he was very genuine about it if that makes sense (it doesn’t)? Ignore me, I like to imagine things though and I can really see just Sera’s whole process as a whole go somewhere emotional for both her and John.

The thing about this, though, is that I do think she’s going to confront John really soon. Probably like in a few episodes or something based on how she’s talking in this one to Isen, so not really sure if what I just talked about is going to fit, but maybe that stuff can happen in their conversation. I don’t know. I just want a moment where Seraphina and John really realize that they’ve lost their friendship and both get sad about it, is that a bad thing to want? Probably. But who knows, John’s in a weird state right now, I don’t really think he’ll get all sad and stuff, he’ll likely get angry or something. Wait, now I want a build up when Sera confronts John where you think he’s going to blow up on her or something, but suddenly he breaks down, letting us see the person behind all of his decisions and actions because John knows he’s a monster (I’m using the fact that he pretended to be a cripple for literally a long ass time to prove this) and that he can’t hide from that. I want to see John confront himself with that and I want Sera to be there. And I know I sound like satan right now, but screw it, this is already very unprofessional. I'm not even analyzing I’m just typing anything that I think.

On a genuine note, though, I was very happy with Sera explaining how she didn’t think that cripple John was ‘faking’ it. She said, “All the stuff he used to preach to me about… I don’t think he was faking it. He meant everything he said. He regretted his previous actions… and he tried to change.” This is probably the first time another character has really thought about John’s developing character over these events rather than just what he did. Sera is the only one who truly reflected on John and I’m grateful for that. I have to admit, when I first read this episode, I got excited because I thought it kind of supported the big and dramatic claims I’ve been making recently about John, but it doesn’t really. It, however, does nothing to harm it so that’s a win :).

Anyway, something very interesting to me was Seraphina’s question regarding John’s decision to become a cripple. I don’t think I’ve considered this in depth before so this question was pretty surprising to me to see from Sera. She doesn’t understand why John enrolled as a cripple in Wellston as opposed to a mid-tier or someone who would have less chance of being singled out in general. And I’m going to answer this based on what fits with what I’ve been saying about John. If you haven’t read it, go to my page and either scroll or search for episode 167 because I really tried to be detailed there. Anyways, I think John decided to be a cripple just because he felt like the farther away from his bad self he was, the better off he’d be because what Sera doesn’t understand yet is that John wasn’t just trying to hide from other people when he transferred to Wellston, he was also trying to hide from himself. He probably felt distance was the best way to do that and I use the fact that he moved from a town relatively far away to Wellston (according to Isen’s early interrogation of John) as evidence. Anyway, Seraphina doesn’t think about this or maybe just doesn’t believe that and says that it was a bad idea for John to pose as a cripple purely because it forced him to place himself in a position similar to his before he gained his powers, and obviously it didn’t lead to the best place last time.

I do think Seraphina is wrong in one thing, however. She thinks that John doesn’t want to be put in the same situation as he was before New Bostin, she labels that as his downfall, but I personally believe that John might have done this on purpose to feel as least powerful as he could. But I don’t really have any reasoning behind that though so, dead end. But something else that I disagree with Seraphina on was how she said, “And just like before… He couldn’t handle the pain of being a cripple.” I read that for the first time and just thought damn. That was such a cold statement. And in response all I have to say is that John was handling the pain of being a cripple just fine, it was only when he was forced to shed that that he lost grip of his facade. Seraphina is completely wrong on this point, and I hope she learns that in the future. Like, I’m sorry, but that statement could literally not be more incorrect. I’m stunned at how much that contradicts reality.

#unordinary #official #episode 171 #webtoon #unordinary webtoon

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emeraldwaves · 5 years ago

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Title: With Blue Flames and Ice we Freeze For @villainmonth Day 6 - Family Pairing: DabiGeten Rating: T Word Count: 3,439 Read on Ao3 Summary:

Living in Hell isn’t Dabi’s first choice, but after getting kicked out of Heaven, he’s stuck. It’s a pain in his ass, especially when his father forces him to undergo the Trials of Hell in order to prepare him to be the next King of Hell. Dabi isn’t particularly interested in facing the various ‘Sins’, but this is his ‘fate’. With Geten to guide him, Dabi suffers as they descend together into the depths of Hell.

Thank you to @amaisenshi for reading this over <3

Dabi can't place what it is about Bubaigawara that doesn't sit right with him. How is it someone can try and fail so horribly at being supportive? Maybe it's a mix of Heaven and Hell. Both are awful in their own right.

Heaven is strict. They don't allow emotions; they cannot feel a thing there, surrounded by sunlight and clouds and joy... but it doesn't feel like that. It feels like nothing, or rather, it's not something Dabi could even begin to describe. By all counts, Dabi should honestly like Hell better, but Hell is like a personal level of torture. He's consumed by the caverns, trapped by the heat boiling under his skin. He suffocates here, but cannot die, a never-ending cycle of gasping for air to free himself from the confines of the realm.

Geten has been quiet since they left, maybe she can sense something is off. Not that he would think it would affect the icy woman. Maybe she didn't like seeing Bubaigawara like that... maybe it warns her of what she could be... how she could lose her mind in this place.

She stops walking suddenly, turning around to stare at him. "You're real gloomy. Not a very fun travel partner."

He clicks his tongue. "I didn't realize this was a fun experience."

"It is for me," she shrugs, brushing her hand in front of the new door. He watches her ice dance up the front of it. His eyes follow the path as it covers the door, revealing it's design. "I know you're wondering why I have ice in Hell," she says suddenly, not stepping in front of the door like she normally does.

"It's fuckin' weird," he blurts out and she stares at him for a moment, her eyes sharp.

"You'll figure it out eventually," she shrugs.

"I don't actually care."

"Then why do you stare at it so strangely," she asks, folding her arms across her chest.

"It's just strange. Not many people use ice in Hell."

"You're lucky I do," she mutters, glancing at the door.

"Yeah, yeah. If you didn't have your ice you wouldn't be able to reveal the doors or whatever the fuck. Can you just hurry up?"

Her eyes are so sharp, glaring icy daggers at him. "Maybe I won't open the door then," she hisses.

"I just said your job was important."

Her fists clench before she turns around abruptly. "Sure you did," she scoffs, and reaches forward, swinging the door open. "You can enjoy whoever is on the other side of this door." The bite is back in her tone and Dabi walks past her, raising his eyebrow as she wrinkles her nose at him.

Whatever, she can be pissed if she wants.

He steps inside, not sure what to expect. The differences between the first two trials are enough to make him question what each one will be. He expects Hawks to be an outlier, but he has no idea if the others will be similar to Bubaigawara or not.

He pauses, Geten following him into the room and he looks around. The cavern looks the same as always, a little darker than the previous one. In the middle of the large room, a girl rocks back and forth a giggle slipping from her lips when they both enter the room.

"You're finally here!" she cheers and before Dabi can blink, the girl runs up to him. Her cheeks are pulled into a wide smile, her face flushed as she stares at him. "I've been waiting," she giggles.

Dabi blinks, trying to process the amount of energy coming towards him right now.

"I knew you would be busy with the bird man and Jinny so I've been patiently waiting," she sighs. "I'm a little surprised you beat Jin," she says and tilts her head. "Not surprised it was easy for you to get past Hawks. He's so in love!" She scoots back away from him and twirls on one foot, her form shifting to that of Hawks, the black wings spreading out behind him.

Wait...

"With your sister no less," the figure says, and Dabi needs a moment to realize no, it's not Hawks, this girl can obviously change her form somehow. "Every time I see him he looks so lovey dovey!" She cups her hands and pops a leg out, posing in a way that doesn’t quite suit Hawks. It's weird to see him looking all dainty and... cute.

With a sigh, she spins around and is back in normal form. "I'm so jealous," she says, a laugh slipping from her lips. "I want to be in love like that... I want to be in love with everyone!"

"Annoying," Dabi mutters, knowing this is the closest he'll get to a headache in Hell.

"I mean, I already love Geten!" the girl says and rushes towards Geten, staring up at her, eyes wide and eager.

With a sigh, Geten rolls her eyes. "Himiko..." She says it as if she's greeting someone, and yet her voice is filled with annoyance.

"Don't be like that!" Himiko giggles and she twirls around, transforming into Geten.

Dabi blinks. One Geten was plenty... but two...

"Don't change into me!" Geten immediately snaps, ice swirling around her boots.

"Aw why not? You're so pretty, but you hide it with this giant winter coat. You should get something more slim fitting!" Himiko teases. It's strange to hear her voice so cheerful and bubbly. Admittedly, Dabi didn't realize it could get so high pitched.

"Himiko!" Geten snaps, shooting ice at, well, herself, but the girl jumps out of the way.

"You could have the cutest winter jacket!" she sighs, landing in the middle of the cavern. Humming she tugs the collar of the fur parka forward, staring down at her chest. "Hm. Kinda small," she says, giggling wildly. "I guess I could see why you keep those covered up!"

Dabi can't help but smirk at the red which appears on Geten's cheeks. Her face lights up, as if she's standing in front of a fire and she folds her arms across her chest, holding her jacket close to herself. Admittedly, the look is... kind of… cute, and for a moment Dabi forgets all about how rude and crass the woman can be.

"S-Stop it, Himiko! You're not supposed to transform into me!" she growls, her icy eyes glaring at the other girl.

"Oh come on!" she says. "I was just having some fun!" She twirls around, the bottom of the jacket swinging around her legs, her long white hair moving around her face.

"You don't gotta be ashamed of your-" When a fist connects with his chin, Dabi stumbles backwards. "What the fuck-" He groans, rubbing his chin.

She glares at him, panting heavily, clouds of ice slipping from her lips. "I'm not ashamed of anything. My... it's... not either of your business!" He kinda wants it to be, just because he's so damn curious now what her boobs look like under that giant parka.

Himiko laughs wildly, the sound echoing throughout the cavern. With Himiko's energy, Geten's voice sounds genuine and full of excitement.

It's enough to send a shiver down Dabi's spine.

"You're supposed to be dealing with him, not me!" Geten hisses, thrusting her finger towards Dabi.

"Okay, okay," she sighs, twirling around as Geten's form seems to melt off of her in a gray, liquid substance.

Geten sighs with relief, but Dabi misses the flush of her pale cheeks. Or at least, that's a thought he pretends didn't just run through his mind.

Hopping back towards the middle of the room, Himiko smiles. "So you're actually completing the trials," she hums, tilting her head back and forth. The messy buns on her head bounce gently with her movement, her wild eyes glistening with a strange excitement.

"What else am I supposed to do?" Dabi snorts.

"Good!" Himiko cries out, lunging towards him as she pulls a knife from her belt. "Now we really can have fun!"

Out of shock, Dabi stumbles backwards, avoiding the knife. It's not going to kill him, but her scratching his flesh doesn't sound pleasant.

"Fun?" he mutters, catching himself. This is anything but fun.

"I know you want to see my memories, but they won't tell you anything interesting!" she says in a sing song tone. "I know all about you!" she giggles, charging towards him with the knife. He has a feeling she's going to be relentless. He steps back from her, letting the searing blue flames appear on his fingertips, ready to attack.

She leaps in the air, and he sends fire towards her, hitting at her stomach. She yelps and immediately falls down away from him, rolling to the side. "Why so mean?!" she pouts and pushes herself back up.

A large grin appears on her face. "I hope you know I can turn into anyone I want to," she says, slowly walks towards him. "But I find it best to turn into people I know the other person loves," she sighs, twirling around in a circle as long white hair flows down behind her, her eyes morph into the tired gray color Dabi hasn't seen in quite some time. White angelic wings flow behind her, her long white robe covering her pale, smooth skin.

"Isn't that right, Touya?" she hums.

"Mother," he breathes out, before his brain can apply any sort of filter.

Todoroki Rei's lips curl into a wide smile, a terrifying thing to witness on the face of his calm and collected face of his mother; it's not a sight he's used to, and it takes him off guard.

In general, seeing his mother, despite knowing it's not her, isn't something he was expecting. He falls backward, landing on the ground, and Himiko leaps, still in the form of his mother. She grips his arm and places her knee on his other arm and he knows he should shoot fire in her face but this is his mother right in front of him. Though he knows it's not really her, he doesn't have the drive to fight her.

He can't watch his mother's face twist in pain.

"Should I stab you, Touya," Himiko giggles, purring out his name as she gets close to her target. "Send you right to Purgatory..."

He slams his eyes shut for a moment to regain himself.

It's not her. His mother would never be in Hell. It's not her. She's not allowed down here and he can't remember the last time he saw her. It's not her.

She's not here. She would never be here.

He plants his feet on the ground, lunging forward as he grabs her arm and slams her to the ground.

"How fucked is this," he snaps, staring into the face of the woman who raised him.

"But I just love this look on your face," she purrs, a loud laugh bursting from her lips. "It was oh so worth it for that."

Holding up his hand, Dabi grabs at her forehead, ready to get away from this girl.

"You're insane," he growls as the memories rush into his body.

Heaven was a cruel place.

Despite all the stories, all the times she'd been to church and tried to be a good girl. None of it mattered. Heaven was a place for those who followed the rules, leaving them to suffer for all eternity.

"The joy of playing Cupid," All Might's voice boomed.

It sounded like a beautiful thing when he spoke of it.

Himiko Toga was a guardian of Love; which admittedly, had a nice ring to it. Himiko loved love, and now it was her job to watch others fall in love and send them grace to bless relationships.

It was never something she learned more about. But jobs in Heaven weren't handed out willy nilly, and Himiko was soon to learn what hers meant.

At first, everything seemed exactly how she would expect it to be. As a guardian of love she watched and observed relationships grow and flourish.

Her favorites to watch were two young girls who had found each other in school. It had been an awkward love, one that blossomed deeper and deeper with each month they knew each other. She watched as one struggled to decide how she truly felt about her friend, and how the other knew immediately.

They kissed one afternoon, during a study session. The two of them fell into it, going further and further, touching and kissing and being... together.

There was a pang in Himiko's chest. She wanted it. Whatever it was they had; she was desperate for it. Yearned for the level of acceptance the two girls shared. She blessed them with grace... but she wanted more. She wanted to understand why the two girls smiled so much.

"I want that," she said, thrusting her finger towards her cloud pool when All Might walked by one day.

A large laugh left the tall man's lips. "Himiko Toga! There is no need to want what they have. In fact, you mustn't long for what they have, otherwise you could fall. This is paradise. Here you can observe their experiences and help them find happiness."

She twisted her lips. But why was she not experiencing the same?

Happiness. It was... an abstract concept. Something Himiko almost understood. It was like she could almost reach out and touch it, and her fingertips would brush against something that was just out of her grasp. It was a slightly... warm feeling. It made her want to quirk her lips up and curl them above her teeth.

She had felt it a few times, though she wasn't exactly supposed to. But she couldn't deny it felt good.

But it didn't get better.

She tried to focus on her job. It was an important one, and as confused as she felt, watching the two young women did give her a bit of clarity. Their smiles were important, and she was the one that helped them.

She was an angel, a guardian of love, but what did that mean? Had someone done this for her? Had someone blessed her relationship? They weren't allowed their memories from their time on Earth, but Himiko wondered if someone watched her. If someone looked at her, jealous that she knew what happiness was while she seemingly had it all.

When she watched the two girls, she felt pangs in her chest over and over, sharp pangs of frustration. They were happy; holding hands while they walked their dog in the park, enjoying holidays with family. All the while Himiko would give her grace to them blessing their relationship, and her own sense of self slowly died behind the mask she wore.

They would be happy. They would be happy. She would watch them be happy.

But what would she be? The more she thought about it, the more questions began to swirl around in her mind.

Why?

Why was she forced to watch as others received such joy and happiness? Was this really to be her eternal life? Over and over she would watch couples experience joy, go through their lives having this thing she so desperately wanted. She wanted what they had. She wanted the smiles and the laughing and the joy.

So why couldn't she have it?

She began to look at other couples, her eyes scanning all the various humans. With each couple she watched her heart grew heavier. She wanted to be in love and know love... not just guard it. She wanted to feel normal... she wanted to feel.

She didn't care what it meant. "I want it all!" she cried out, gripping the side of her cloud pool, watching the various couples pass by in the pool of water.

She wanted to reach out and grab the happiness that was just beyond her grasp. She could practically see it; it was like a thick, warm blanket she wanted to wrap herself in. Her fingers were just inches away from it.

And when she felt her fingers curl around that warm blanket, she let out an unhinged laugh the warmth spreading out over her body. It was hers now; to have and to hold for eternity. All of it belonged to her. Slowly the mask began to drip down off of her face.

She would have it all.

The blanket corrupted her, the heat clinging to her body. And as her soul turned black, her lips curled up into a smile.

"Do you know..." she giggles, still wearing the form of Todoroki Rei. "That guardians of love are people who died without knowing love at all. Forced to watch people experience something they never had... forced to bless people who have something they always desired. I learned that when I fell. Even my own family-"

"That's not true!" Dabi yells, forgetting that it’s Himiko talking and not his mother. He slowly moves his hand away from her forehead.

Dabi has always thought his mother's eyes were beautiful. Despite how tired they often looked, despite how much pain she suppressed behind them so not to corrupt herself, he thought they had a shimmer to them he wished he could've seen whenever he chose.

It's a selfish wish; a greedy, desperate wish.

The face of Todoroki Rei stares at him and he's forgotten. All he heard was her family didn't love her and he had to set the record straight. Of course they did. Of course he did.

"Oh?" Himiko purrs, her lips curling up into a devilish smile. It's odd, to see his mother looking so scarily demonic. "Did you forget I'm not Todoroki Rei!?"

“No," he growls.

"Then why did you yell so loud?" she laughs and Dabi lunges for the knife in her hand.

He snags it from her grip and immediately holds it up to her throat. She swallows, her pale skin pressing against the shimmering blade. "Change back, or I'll send you to Purgatory."

With a whine, she rolls her head, letting the image of Todoroki Rei melt off of her. "You're really no fun, King-in-Training. I hope you fail."

He momentarily wants to ask if Enji is more 'fun' than he is, but he doesn't want to hear about all the things Todoroki Enji has done during his reign as king.

"I guess for now you can... say you've won," she snorts, spreading her arms out as she giggles staring up at the ceiling.

"Of course I've won. I wasn't about to fall for your shitty tricks," he says, thrusting the knife down against the floor.

"Whatever you say~!" she calls out, the lilting sing song returning to her tone.

With a snort, he walks towards the door, a shiver rolling down his spine. Geten hasn't moved as she stands by the exit, snow falling down around her body, the spot beneath her feet is covered in ice. "Let's go!" he calls out, wanting to get as far away from the woman who can transform into the one thing he hates the most.

Geten walks a little bit behind him. "So you're a Momma's boy-"

"Don't," he snaps, the blue flames flaring around his palms.

"Alright. I guess I was surprised your mother was an angel."

"Only half."

"But... you were never human?" she asks.

"No, never," he says. "Pureblooded demon, or well... demon-angel... in this case. Just how my father always wanted."

"That’s… rare," she says, her eyes scanning up and down his body.

"My father would be thrilled to hear you say that," he says, chuckling darkly.

"Is your mother still an angel?" she asks, her voice a bit quieter. He doesn’t appreciate her pretending to care.

"It’s none of your damn business..." he hisses out and she lets it go.

His mother isn't an image that's easy for him to see. The moment replays over and over in his mind, the image of her lips curling into Himiko's creepy smile...

It wasn't her, Dabi repeats over and over in his head. He's never going to see his mother again, he's resigned himself to that fate though he loves her with his everything. He can’t stay because it’s not her…

He will remember her as he knows her; The family that actually cared for him, ripped away by Heaven.

#dabigeten #toga himiko #dabi #BNHA #villain month 2019 #geten #todoroki rei

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austerlitzborodinoleipzig · 5 years ago

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Ranking the GPF programs - Ladies SP

Euros are soon upon us, so let's continue our ranking of the gpf programs.

6 - Alexandra Trusova, Peer Gynt

I liked it in the beginning of the season and I like how they packaged her as “small goblin child”, because that suits her. She’s that feral, jumping, savage creature on the ice. Also I love Peer Gynt with all my heart, so I was cheering for her.

The Solveig’s Song part is the superior part, and Sasha is meticulous with the moves, which is nice to see. It also makes me wonder. She can hold positions, and her lines are at minimum okay when she tries. She has some good spin positions. She has decent musicality… So why won’t anyone in her team do what’s needed and start seriously working on her presentation? I’m not saying she’ll be anywhere near the level of the likes of Kostornaia or the Japan ladies, but you know…

Anyway, all this to say her Hall of the Mountain King is a mess. Sasha hasn’t got the skating skills that would allow to pull out the steps and choreo, and it’s difficult to watch her struggling and flailing on the ice, trying desperately to catch up with the music.

Also now that she tries to land the 3A, she runs out of steam way before the end of the program, so that comes out even worse.

Dress: 7/10 The dress is very cute and I just like the fabric. The costume change is gimmicky and unnecessary, so she loses points there.

5 – Alena Kostornaia, The Leftovers’ Lullaby/November

Last year, I said that was an okay program, but somehow, when Alena skated it, it looked like a masterpiece. Well this year, the magic’s gone. There’s a lack of sharpness to it. Or maybe I’ve seen it too much. I strongly feel like Alena has outgrown that SP, and more than that, is becoming fed-up with it. (and I swear I read that in a interview during RusNats, now I have to find the link). Now that she gets more powerful/intense pieces of music to skate to, like her FS, she doesn’t feel those lyrical/ethereal programs she used to have anymore. Fingers crossed for her next years SP to be something that slaps.

Dress : don’t know how to rate it, because, objectively it’s a nice dress. I like the cut better than last season. But for some reason it doesn’t quite work for me.

4 – Anna Shcherbakova, The Perfume

Has unexpectedly grown on me. The music is A+++ so strange and enchanting. And Anna’s outstanding connection and portrayal of the music makes it something eerie, moody, and all together, she manages to create a very special moment on the ice, every time she skates to it.

Choreo is a let-down, and is a hindrance rather that something that would help Anna with the portrayal and conveyance of the mood. But she’s strong enough to overcome it.

Dress : 10/10 !!! That is one gorgeous dress. I love everything about it. The fabric. The nuances, from dark grey, to very pale pink. The red roses on the back… Everything is enchanting about it.

3 – Alina Zagitova, Me Vuoy

Alina gets her best programs ever and we get to see them only three times.

Interestingly I find the music atrocious, but the choreo is on point. (those twizzles on the “Ayayaya”, as Alina exits the flip!). It’s passionate, but there’s a string of nervous breakdown in the vocals, and Alina sells all of this so well. Her best work imho.

Dress : 9/10. I just love black lace, and it suits Alina so well, and those dark red shades add a passionate touch to her costume.

2 – Rika Kihira, Breakfast in Bagdhad

Perhaps the most frustrating SP of the season, because that should be one of my favourite ever. The music choice, the choreo, everything is top notch. It’s one of the most ambitious and inventive SP ever. And it’s crazy difficult as well… And seemingly too complex for Rika. Don’t get me wrong. Everything that has to do with the technical aspects is done, and very well done. But as of now, she cannot for the life of her, sell it.

I sound quite harsh, and I know it. I’m not saying Rika is crap in this SP. And I still think she’s underscored in PCS, as her SS, TR, and CO are top notch. But I do think her lack of performance hurts her a bit regarding the judging panel at competitions. Anyway fingers crossed she’ll prove me wrong during the other half of the season. I really want her to.

Dress : I love the blue dress. I like the cut, I liked the way the dress moved every time she would jump to “Stump!”. I liked to golden ornamentation, and the silhouette they created… Not yet sold on the red dress. I like the colour. Less so the cut, and what’s with the weird upside down Peace&Love symbol on her back, anyone knows? 6/10

1 – Bradie Tennell, Chronos/Mechanisms

Without a doubt, Bradie’s best program. It’s fun. It’s sharp. The choreo is great and inventive. And, this is so important, Bradie sell the hell out of it. The music is a delight. It’s fast paced, and gives a sense of urgency, and build up, right unto the Step Sequence. Bradie’s musicality in this SP is on point. Also that type of choreo is really what suits her best, while hiding the weakest aspects of her skating. No need for her to hold a pose for long, no need for slow flowy arm and body movements, but sharp, quick, brief moves, always right on the musical accents.

On thing I wanted to add, I don’t think Bradie gets enough credit among fans for her spins. There’s usually very fast, and centred. And for someone so rigid, she had some strikingly good positions in them.

Dress : 6/10 the red looks good on her, the dress is a bit basic tho.

#figure skating #anna shcherbakova #alexandra trusova #alena kostornaia #rika kihira #alina zagitova #bradie tennell #ranking programs is my passion

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bnha-imagines-and-hcs · 6 years ago

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I'd like to hc that the ex villain s/o grew up in am abusive villain family? Like all they know is how to do harm and havent experienced people being patient with them. With this is mind, please may i request hcs/a drabble for the s/os toxic family member trying to hunt them down, maybe as revenge or in deluded hopes that their family wants to get back together? How would class 1A react? Thank you for reading all of this haha :"^)

Hey sweetie! Thanks for specifying your request! I did my best to makethese not to repetitive because let´s be honest no one is just gonna sit thereand do nothing when this is going on, so I apologize if some of these aresimilar!

This post turned out ENORMOUSLY long, so the scenariosare under the cut! Also short warning: Tokoyami´s and Todoroki´s parts are mildlyangsty.

YugaAoyama: Aoyama might not be the bravest of them all,but he stays surprisingly… calm? He has full trust into UA´s security system sohe doesn´t see you in immediate danger. Yet he understands that to you this isnot light issue. At first, he doesn´t really know what to do so he startsacting a little awkward around you. After a few days of wondering you noticethat he is giving his all to distract you from what is going on. All he wantsis for you to get through this unharmed so he does all these weird things thatwill keep your attention on him and nothing else.

MinaAshido: Is your knight in shining armor. Shehelps you by staying very positive about the whole thing. She´s the firstperson you´ve ever really trusted and to hear her say that everything is goingto be fine somehow sounds more convincing than hearing it from anyone else. Shecalms you down with her confident attitude, making it easier to believe thatthe past can´t get you anymore. Mina poses as a role-model for you to become justas bright and confident!

TsuyuAsui: Possibly the best s/o you could have in asituation like this. She really sees things for what they are and nothing else.And she sees that in any way the thought of your past coming after you has tobe extremely pressuring. She doesn´t really mention it in your day to dayconversation as to give you something to hold onto. Routine is extremelyimportant in troubling times. If you want to talk about it Tsuyu will listencarefully and talk about the matter calmly, similar to Ojiro. She´s always byyour side in these times cuddling you even more often than usual.

TenyaIida: Immediately begs you to consultauthority. He can´t stand the thought of you being in danger especially sincethis is someone from your past that could not only physically but psychologicallyhurt you. He can barely hold back tears when he thinks of how far you´ve comeand this is something he absolutely doesn´t want you to ever have to go throughagain. He feels a little better as soon as you´ve told authority about thisfamily member but will not budge from your side unless he absolutely has tountil the issue is resolved. He simply cannot risk having another person heloves hurt by a villain.

OchacoUraraka: She provides you all the emotionalsupport she can give. She helps you get through the day never missing a chanceto make life easier for you because “You never ask for anything. But when youdo I´d do anything to fulfill that.” Honestly, she´s just always thereencouraging you to go on with your life as you are right now because it´s theright decision and you have nothing to be afraid of since you´ve got theentirety of UA on your side. She´s so happy that you two have met and wants youto feel loved at all times just like you deserve.

MashiraoOjiro: Helps by being the rock in the surf. Hestays exceptionally calm to show you that you are safe where you are now. He actuallysits you down to have a talk about the current issue. He calmly tells you thatUA´s security system is completely waterproof and almost all of the staff areworking pro hero´s that have successfully apprehended villains many times. Helistens to your concerns and understands that you still feel scared since thisperson was part of your family and you know very well what they are capable of.He takes you seriously which is something you haven´t really experienced yet.Ojiro tells you that you don´t have to be afraid as often as you need to hearit to believe it.

DenkiKaminari: Positively does not know what to do. Howdoes one handle this? He just wants to hold you and tell you everything isgoing to be okay and that he´ll protect you no matter what. But he doesn´tbecause he doesn´t know how that would make you feel. However, should he seeyou acting out of the ordinary or look even a little sad he immediately forgetsabout that and just comforts you and smothers you with attention even if youshould tell him that you´re okay. He keeps on muttering while stroking yourhair and telling you how sorry he feels and how much he loves you. He´s justthe sweetest until you can´t help but feel a little better.

EijiroKirishima: Kirishima deals with the situationexceptionally well. He just has a good sense of how other people feel and how toimprove their condition. He texts you first thing in the morning asking how you´veslept. When you see each other, he can immediately tell what you need that day.Even the teachers notice how big of a help he is to you. Aizawa and All Might talkto him at one point giving you and him permission to meet up even after curfewshould that be beneficial to your mental health. He´s just that good.

Koji Koda: Koda is not the aggressive type at all. So instead of getting angry andfocusing on the person that is trying to get to you he focuses on making surethat you feel safe and comfortable. If you´re feeling anxious he´s thereto hold your hand and help you through it. If you have a lot on your mind, he´sthere to listen and help you collect your thoughts. If you can´t sleep at night,he will go as far as disregarding the rules and sneaking into your room orletting you into his at night depending on where you feel more comfortable. Hedoes everything he can so you can rest assured that nothing´s going to happento you at UA and that your decision to come here was the best you ever made.

RikidoSato: He just turns into the biggest worriedsweetheart in existence. Asks you if you need anything at least once everytwenty minutes. Sato monitors your behavior immediately sensing when somethingis wrong. He helps you to keep up with your schedule and your needs. He cheersyou on whenever you are eating even though you don´t feel like it. He waits downstairsfor you in the morning, so you don´t have to go to class alone. He supports youeverywhere he can in daily life. Again, routine is important for a person in emotionaltrouble. He sees that and makes sure that you always have an anchor to holdonto.

MezoShoji: Shoji is just…the best at making you feela little safer. Even though he is a sweetheart, most people wouldn´t start afight with him due to his appearance. He is also very hard to ambush due to hisinformation gathering skills. But the best part about this? Shoji is so good athugging. His form is large enough to almost encase you completely and there´sless things more comforting than that. Not to mention that he´s actually verysensitive to your needs and your thoughts. He helps you by just being there foryou.

KyokaJiro: Jiro is the one that freaks out most ofthe bunch. She is very close to demand for you to get personal security by thepolice. In UA of course that is not necessary, but she only calms down when youyourself say that you believe the protection of the school should be fine. Shecan´t help but be more nervous than usual though. It does comfort her thatshe´d always be one of the first to be able to tell should something be out ofthe ordinary thanks to her quirk. She comforts you. But you also have tocomfort her from time to time.

HantaSero: Just does his best to cheer you up everyday. He´s fully prepared to make an ass out of himself multiple times per dayif it leads to you smiling. Sero is bending backwards to let you forget aboutthe gravity of life for a while when you´re with him. You´ve had enough darktimes in your life, he´s decided. You don´t need to have that ruined bywhatever pathetic moron would try to take you from him. Doesn´t say it but isabsolutely ready to hurt someone badly if it was to keep you safe. You shouldn´thave to worry about anything.

FumikageTokoyami: He starts having trouble sleeping atnight. Because Dark Shadow is even harder to control when he feels angry. Eventhough it´s not easy for either of you this experience brings you closer. Onenight you sneak out of bed and knock on his door because you´re feeling toanxious to do anything. When he opens up, he doesn´t appear to have slept either.He just silently lets you in and you spend the night holding each other’s handtightly and silently suffering together. Not being alone was the only thingthat made that night bearable for both of you. The night before was the last timeyou slept in your own bed for the next two weeks.

ShotoTodoroki: Todoroki is in a cold sweat when he hearsthat an abusive family member is after you. It almost causes a panic attack inhimself as he can´t help but immediately project this onto himself. After theinitial strike of fear, he feels anger and hatred bubble up inside of him. Heknows that his own childhood was nothing to sneeze at, but he can´t even imaginehow it must have been for you. He doesn´t talk about the issue with you as heis too uncomfortable thinking about it. He becomes attached to your hip though lookingout for you and demanding that you come sleep in his dorm room. He simply can´tsleep without you for as long as he deems you in danger.

ToruHagakure: Very frazzled. What should she do? Whatdoes one do in this situation to be a good girlfriend. She eventually settles on makingyou feel good often holding your hand, cuddling you or just giving you simpletouches. She´s invisible so she thinks it´s very important that you feel herthere. The last thing she wants is for you to feel bad just because some horribleperson decides to make things harder than they need to be. Tries to make thematter as easy to take for you as possible.

KatsukiBakugo: At first you weren´t sure if you shouldtell him because it was hard to tell what he would do. When he found out, he wasangry. After you tell him your reasons and what´s really going on however hisblood really starts too boil. You´ve been fucking ripping yourself apart tofinally have a better life. You´ve come as far as being able to build arelationship based on mutual respect and trust other than fear and now someonefrom your past DARES to show their ugly mug around here?? Yeah right, Bakugoisn´t having any of that. You really have to hold him back so he doesn´t runoff going after them by himself. You can bet your sweet ass that the personthat´s after you will NOT get close to you.

IzukuMidoriya: Is thoroughly shaken when he first hearsabout it. He is among the ones who has had the most experience with villainswhich means that after the initial shock he gets over it pretty quick andstarts thinking about what the best possible course of action for him is inthis situation. He decides that making sure your mental health isn´t affectedhas the highest priority. He asks you what he can do to make you feel better andfollows your instructions to a T. He asks if it is okay if he follows youaround for a few days. Just so his heart can calm down a little. As soon asthere´s a sighting of your toxic family member he´s off. Against the rules ofcourse. But let´s face it this is Midoriya he will not sit around when his s/ois in danger.

MinoruMineta: I think this one comes as a bit of asurprise since Mineta is generally considered a coward. But he is so not okaywith what is happening. He admires you so much for how you made it out of yoursituation. Coming from an abusive “family” if you could even call it that.Knowing nothing but the principal of eat or be eaten. And then you pulledyourself up with your own strength that came from nothing and managed to get afresh start in life with almost no help at all. He is fully aware that he couldnever do what you accomplished and for someone to have the audacity anddisregard all of the obvious rejection you have shown them just makes him…mad. It might not sound very convincing but trust me. Mineta is looking out foryou. There´s no way someone is taking you away from him.

MomoYaoyorozu: Momo worries a lot. This doesn´t bodewell with her. She asks you if you´ve told anyone and advises you to do so. Shetries her best to stay calm around you as to not worry you further, but she isvery nervous about the whole thing. She almost needs more comforting than youdo. But don´t be fooled she is prepared for every single eventuality. She has aperfect plan if she should ever come across this “family member” of yours. Andit´s not pretty. Momo rests uneasy until the issue is resolved. She just wantsyou to finally be able to live a life where youset the standards.

I hope this is what you were looking for my lovely anon!

-Love, Mod Anni

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thelingspace · 6 years ago

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Capturing Swedish Islands (Linguistically)

An interesting question found its way into our inbox recently, asking about relative clauses in Swedish, and wondering whether their unique characteristics might pose a problem for some of the linguistic theories we’ve talked about on our channel. So if you want a discussion of syntax, Swedish, and subjacency (with some eye-tracking thrown in), this is for you!

So yes, there is a hypothesis that Swedish relative clauses break one of the basic principles by which language is thought to work. In particular, it’s been claimed that one of the governing principles of language is Subjacency, which basically says that when words move around in a sentence, like when a statement gets turned into a question, those words can’t move around without limit. Instead, they have to hop around in small skips and jumps to get to their destination. To make this more concrete, consider the sentence in (1).

(1) Where did Nick think Carol was from?

The idea goes that a sentence like this isn’t formed by moving the word “where” directly from the end to the beginning, as in (2). Instead, we suppose that it happens in steps, by moving it to the beginning of the embedded clause first, and then moving it all the way to the front of the sentence as a whole, shown in (3).

(2a) Did Nick think Carol was from where?

(2b) Where did Nick think Carol was from _?

(3a) Did Nick think Carol was from where?

(3b) Did Nick think where Carol was from _?

(3c) Where did Nick think _ Carol was from _?

One of the advantages of supposing that this is how questions are formed is that it’s easy to explain why some questions just don’t work. The question in (4) sounds pretty weird — so weird that it’s hard to know what it’s even supposed to mean. (The asterisk marks it as unacceptable.)

(4) *Where did Nick ask who was from _?

The explanation behind this is that the intermediate step that “where” normally would have made on its way to the front is rendered impossible because the “who” in the middle gets in its way. It’s sitting in exactly the spot inside the structure of the sentence that “where” would have used to make its pit stop.

More generally, Subjacency is used as an explanation for ‘islands,’ which are the parts of sentences where words like “where” and “when” often seem to get stranded. And one of the most robust kinds of island found across the world’s languages is the relative clause, which is why we can’t ever turn (5) into (6).

(5) Nick is friends with a hero who lives on another planet

(6) *Where is Nick friends with a hero who lives _?

Surprisingly, Swedish — alongside other mainland Scandinavian languages like Norwegian — seems to break this rule into pieces. The sentence in (7) doesn’t have a direct translation into English that sounds very natural.

(7a) Såna blommor såg jag en man som sålde på torget

(7b) Those kinds of flowers saw I a man that sold in square-the (gloss)

(7c) *Those kinds of flowers, I saw a man that sold in the square

So does that mean we have to toss all our progress out the window, and start from scratch? Well, let’s not be too hasty. For one, it’s worth noting that even the English version of the sentence can be ‘rescued’ using what’s called a resumptive pronoun, filling the gap left behind by the fronted noun phrase “those kinds of flowers.”

(8) Those kinds of flowers, I saw a man that sold them in the square

For many speakers, the sentence in (8) actually sounds pretty good, as long as the pronoun “them” is available to plug the leak, so to speak. At the very least, these kinds of sentences do find their way into conversational speech a whole lot. So, whether a supposedly inviolable rule gets broken or not isn’t as black-and-white as it might appear. What’s maybe a more compelling line of thinking is that what look like violations of these rules on the surface can turn out not to be, once we dig a little deeper. For instance, the sentence in (9), found in Quebec French, might seem surprising. It looks like there’s a missing piece after “exploser” (“blow up”), inside of a relative clause, that corresponds directly to “l'édifice” (“the building”) — so, right where a gap shouldn’t be possible.

(9a) V'là l'édifice qu'y a un gars qui a fait exploser _

(9b) *This is the building that there is a man who blew up

But that embedded clause has some very strange properties that have given linguists reasons to think it’s something more exotic. For one, the sentence in (9) above only functions with what’s known as a stage-level predicate — so, a verb that describes an action that takes place over a relatively short period of time, like an explosion. This is in contrast to an individual-level predicate, which can apply over someone’s whole lifetime. When we replace one kind of predicate with another, what comes out as garbage in English now sounds equally terrible in French.

(10a) *V’là l'édifice qu'y a un employé qui connaît _

(10b) *This is the building that there is an employee who knows

Interestingly, stage-level predicates seem to fundamentally change the underlying structures of these sentences, so that other apparently inviolable rules completely break down. For instance, with a stage-level predicate, we can now fit a proper name in there, which is something that English (and many other languages) simply forbid.

(11a) Y a Jean qui est venu

(11b) *There is John who came (cannot say out-of-the-blue to mean “John came”)

For this reason, along with some other unusual syntactic properties that come hand-in-hand, it’s supposed that these aren’t really relative clauses at all. And not being relative clauses, the “who” in (9) isn’t actually occupying a spot that any other words have to pass through on their way up the tree. That is, movement isn’t blocked like how it normally would be in a genuine relative clause.

Still, Swedish has famously resisted any good analysis. Some researchers have tried to explain the problem away by claiming that what look like relative clauses are actually small clauses — the “Carol a friend” part of the sentence below — since small clauses are happy to have words move out of them.

(12a) Nick considers Carol a friend

(12b) Who does Nick consider _ a friend?

But the structures that words can move out of in Swedish clearly have more in common with noun phrases containing relative clauses, than clauses in and of themselves. In (13), it just doesn’t make sense to think of the verb “träffat” (“meet”) as being followed by a clause, in the same way it did for “consider.”

(13a) Det har jag inte träffat någon som gjort

(13b) that have I not met someone that done

(13c) *That, I haven’t met anyone who has done

So what’s next? Here, it’s important not to miss the forest for the trees. Languages show amazing variation, but given all the ways it could have been, language as a whole also shows incredible uniformity. It’s truly remarkable that almost all the languages we’ve studied carefully so far, regardless of how distant they are from each other in time and space, show similar island effects. Even if Swedish turns out to be a true exception after all is said and done, there’s such an overwhelming tendency in the opposite direction, it begs for some kind of explanation. If our theory is wrong, it means we need to build an even better one, not that we need no theory at all.

And yet the situation isn’t so dire. A recent eye tracking study — the first of its kind to address this specific question — suggests a more nuanced set of facts. Generally, when experimental subjects read through sentences, looking for open spots where a dislocated word might have come from as they process what they’re seeing, they spend relatively less time fixated on the parts of sentences that are syntactic islands, vs. those that aren’t. In other words, by default, readers in these experiments tend to ignore the possibility of finding gaps inside syntactic islands, since our linguistic knowledge rules that out. And in this study, it was found that sentences like the ones in (7) and (13), which seem to show that Swedish can move words out from inside a relative clause, tend to fall somewhere between full-on syntactic islands and structures that typically allow for movement, in terms of where readers look, and for how long. This suggests that Swedish relative clauses are what you might call ‘weak islands,’ letting you move words out of them in some circumstances, but not in others. And this is in line with the fact that not all kinds of constituents (in this case, “why”) can be moved out of these relative clauses, as the unacceptability of the sentence in (14) shows. (In English, the sentence cannot be used to ask why people were late.)

(14a) *Varföri känner du många som blev sena till festeni?

(14b) Why know you many who were late to party-the

(14c) *Why do you know many people who were late to the party?

For reasons we don’t yet fully understand, relative clauses in Swedish don’t obviously pattern with relative clauses in English. At the same time, the variation between them isn’t so deep that we’re forced to throw out everything we know about how language works. The search for understanding is an ongoing process, and sometimes the challenges can seem impossible, but sooner or later we usually find a way to puzzle out the problem. And that can only ever serve to shed more light on what we already know!

#linguistics #tumblinguistics #syntax #subjacency #syntactic movement #swedish #quebec french #relative clauses #syntactic islands #eye tracking

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laallomri · 6 years ago

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[happy lance day!! breaking from the #JuLance birthday/theme formula to post something from the s6 au, which got scrapped because of how soon s7 is coming out]

[context: lance and keith compare notes on shiro’s weird behavior then meet the real him in a dream in the astral realm. when they wake up they tell the team and talk to kuron, who swears he is not actively involved in trying to betray voltron and volunteers to step aside as black paladin to minimize the risk he poses to the team. also for clarity’s sake: lotura is not a thing and allura and lance talk about his crush and he is over it by this point]

They’ve all gathered in the Black Lion’s hangar, lined up in a row and wearing their armor. It would give Lance a weird sense of déjà vu if it weren’t for the (very unfortunate) addition of Lotor to their lineup and the (awesome and badass) addition of Allura already in her armor.

“Who should try first?” Allura asks.

“It would be my honor to make an effort to bond with such a powerful being as the Black Lion,” Lotor says, “but I cannot, as I am a slimy, demon-ass motherfucker with the most impractical haircut a soldier ever had.”

(or something. Lotor talks a lot, and Lance always just tunes him out, and it’s always kind of a pointless endeavor to amuse only himself, except now—now Keith is standing next to him, and making a face at Lotor, and Lance can elbow him, and they can exchange a grin, and—well.)

(well, his heart whispers, but he tells it to quiet down, because Allura is talking, and he’s got to pay attention again)

“I think the paladins ought to have a turn first,” she says, and she smiles, and it’s Smile Number Four from Allura’s Repertoire of Diplomatic Expressions, the one she used on the diplomat who misgendered Pidge and the alien highwaymen who tried to rob them during their stay on Azadi, the one that says try me, bitch, and I will end you.

Lance elbows Keith again, who elbows him back, and then Lance elbows him a third time, and Keith tries to return it but Lance jumps out of the way, and he kind of forgets that this is a serious situation, so he says “ha-HA!”, and he’s ducking Keith’s lunge as he tries to elbow him when he hears someone clear their throat.

They both freeze. Lance rights himself and turns to Allura.

“Sorry,” he says, as Keith mutters, “Sorry.”

She gives them each an exasperated look, then says, “Keith, since you’ve piloted the Black Lion before, I think you ought to try first.”

Keith hesitates, then sets his jaw and nods. He sends a swift smile to the rest of the paladins—Pidge whispers “good luck!”, Hunk gives him a thumbs up, Allura smiles back encouragingly, and Lance shoots fingers guns at him—then strides up to the Black Lion.

The others talk amongst themselves as they wait. Lance crosses his arms over his chest and looks up at Black’s eyes. He knows they’re going to respond to Keith—why wouldn’t they, after having responded before?—and he’s relieved to know that he feels—fine. He feels fine. Honestly, genuinely, truly. He knows the Black Lion is not for him, knows that they will never be for him, knows that they will never want him, and that’s—fine. It’s fine.

(fine? his heart whispers.)

(yes, it whispers next. Keith is a good leader and your friend and you are happy to support him. fine)

Besides, he thinks, opening the part of his mind that communicates with Red, I have a perfectly good lion who I love very much.

Suck-up, Red rumbles.

Excuse you, Lance thinks, outraged. I compliment you and this is how you repay me? The disrespect.

Joking, Red rumbles. Love you too. Sorry gone.

Lance blinks.

What?

Sorry gone, Red says again. Love very much. Will still talk sometimes afterward.

“Gone?” Lance says aloud. Pidge breaks off in the middle of her sentence and shoots him a curious look. “What?”

“Who are you talking to?” Hunk asks.

Before Lance can answer Allura cuts in.

“I do not think the Black Lion will accept Keith,” she says, frowning. “It’s been several doboshes already.”

“Maybe they just need time?” Lance suggests. “Not-Shiro isn’t missing or anything so maybe they don’t understand the reason for a new paladin.”

“Maybe,” she says, though she sounds doubtful. “In any case, he should be back soon.”

He is back soon, walking towards them with an odd mix of relief and guilt on his face. He shakes his head and Allura sends Hunk to try next.

“You okay?” Lance asks as Keith retakes the spot next to him.

“Yeah, I just—” He breaks off, does that thing where he seems to shrink into himself. “I feel bad for being relieved that they didn’t accept me.”

“You should never feel bad for your feelings,” Lance says firmly. “My sister always says your feelings are valid no matter what.”

“I guess,” Keith says.

He still looks guilty, though, so Lance bumps his shoulder with his own, gently. Keith smiles a little and bumps him back. He doesn’t move away afterward, and their shoulders are still kind of touching, and if they were wearing normal clothes Lance could probably feel his warmth through the sleeve, and he’s so—

(close, his heart whispers, and it’s shy, and soft, and he has to make himself look straight ahead at the lion so he can ignore the way his ears are heating up)

Hunk comes back, shrugging as if to say I tried. Pidge’s attempt is even quicker and just as unsuccessful, and finally Allura goes into the lion.

“Do you think it’ll be her?” Lance asks.

Keith shrugs. The movement slides his shoulder against Lance’s.

“It’d make sense,” Lance says, because as long as he keeps talking he can pretend he isn’t hyperfocused on Keith’s stupid-not-stupid shoulder. “She’s basically in charge anyway.”

“Maybe,” Keith says, “but I think she kind of likes being part of a team too. We already look to her as the princess.”

He has a point but still. If anyone should lead them it should be her.

“Maybe it’ll be you,” Keith says, with another smile.

Lance snorts. “I’ve tried before,” he says. “Black doesn’t want me.”

“They wanted me last time and rejected me this time,” Keith points out. “Maybe for you it’ll go the other way around.”

Lance bites the inside of his cheek. He doesn’t want to think about this, not seriously, not when he’s been fine—fine—honestly, genuinely, truly—for such a long time. He doesn’t need to be in charge to know that he’s worth something.

(worth something¸ his heart whispers. good friend good paladin good person. worth a lot)

(it used to whisper worth nothing, used to whisper bad friend bad paladin bad person, used to whisper whisper whisper until the whispers filled him up and made him burn with how badly he wanted to prove the whispers otherwise)

(but now he is calm, and quiet, and sometimes the burn flickers again, but he can control it now, can breathe in and out, can think of Allura’s giggle and Hunk’s grin and Pidge’s laugh, can think of Keith’s shoulder touching his, can think of closing his eyes and breathing in the crisp air of a beach sunrise back home, and know that he is enough for himself)

Allura’s coming back. She looks less disappointed than last time, but Lance offers her a hug anyway.

“Thank you,” she says quietly, holding on to him briefly before stepping back. “Now it is your—”

“Shall I not make an attempt, Princess?” Lotor interrupts.

Allura turns Smile Number Four on him again.

“Paladins first,” she says, and despite the evenness of her voice Lance can tell she is displeased. “Outsiders may have a turn afterward.”

Lance sticks out his tongue at Lotor, who crinkles his nose in response. Keith snickers and bumps Lance’s shoulder once more.

“Good luck,” he says.

Lance looks at him. He’s smiling, the Galra mark on his cheek pushed up by the action, dark eyes bright behind his ridiculous fringe.

(pretty, his heart whispers, and he has to fight back the redness threatening his ears again

“Thanks,” Lance says, and after a chorus of good lucks from Hunk and Pidge and Allura and a pointed lack of comment from Lotor, he goes up to the Black Lion

.^.

He always forgets how fucking huge the interior is.

“Why is it so dark?” Lance asks, as he takes his seat. “Couldn’t you have like, a non-paladin-bond-required lamp in here or something? You know, so you don’t have potential paladins trip on the way in and break their neck before they can even take their shot?”

Black doesn’t respond. Lance isn’t surprised.

“Lotor’s probably gonna come in here next,” he says, putting his hands on the sides of the pilot’s chair. “I’m really sorry about that. I can come in here afterward and sterilize everything so you won’t have Lotor residue all in here.”

Still no response. Lance sighs and leans back in the chair.

“It must suck to not have your paladin,” he says. “We’re gonna get him back, I promise. I don’t know if you’ve talked to him but he told me and Keith that he’s okay. Apparently astral realms are pretty good about hospitality.” He frowns. “Do you think there are like, hotels in the astral realm?” He deepens his voice. “ ‘Holiday Inn Astral Realm: Where Service Is Out Of This World!”

A pause. Lance squints up at the ceiling of the lion. No response.

“Aw man,” Lance says, clicking his tongue. “I thought that would at least get a huff. Red sometimes gives me a pity huff if the joke isn’t that funny.”

Another pause.

“All right!” Lance claps his hands down on his thighs. “This date is clearly going nowhere, so I think I’ll leave. I hope you find a better match. Please don’t pick Lotor.” He gets up from the chair. “Just so you know, Allura’s probably gonna be really mad about having to find a brand new paladin from somewhere else. If she cusses you out I will not defend you.” He considers for a moment. “Though I will still come in here and sterilize everything after Lotor’s turn. No one deserves to have his slimy germs on them.”

He cracks his knuckles and starts to walk out. “Bye,” he says over his shoulder, and is about to exit when—

Bye.

Lance freezes. He turns on his heel, very slowly.

“Uh.” He clears his throat. “Did you just talk to me?”

The response isn’t a word, but—rumbling—sort of like Red’s chuckle, though deeper, echoing in Lance’s mind in a way that Red’s voice never does.

Drama queen, comes a voice into his mind, and it’s Red, grounding and familiar. He sounds exasperated. Likes theatrics.

I am not a drama queen, Black protests, and wow their voice is weird, metallic and booming, so much so that Lance touches his forehead with surprise. I just like proper timing.

Waiting til last minute not proper, Red argues. Just dramatic.

“Sorry,” Lance cuts in, trying to collect himself, “is there—what—hm.” He breathes, in and out; he thinks his hands might be shaking. “What is happening?”

Sit, Black rumbles.

Messing with you, Red explains. Likes drama.

Black pointedly ignores Red’s jibe. Lance stumbles forward; he feels like his knees don’t work properly. He clutches the top of the pilot’s chair for balance as he staggers into the seat.

Hands, Black says.

Lance puts his hands on either arm of the chair. There is a pause, and then—and then—

—and then light—

—running along the sides, the chair, the control panel, the ceiling—

—and then movement—

—the chair settling to his height and weight, the view out of the front window angling as Black rises—

—and then sound—

—Red roaring in Lance’s mind, Black roaring aloud—

Welcome, Leandro¸ Black says, deep and booming and metallic, and the feel of it is strange and familiar all at once, reminds Lance of the first time Marco asked him to babysit Elena, the feeling of what if I fuck up and of course you won’t fuck up and you’re Leandro fucking McClain and you can do anything.

(do anything, his heart whispers, and this time he actually believes it)

He can change a diaper and wipe a runny nose and snipe sentries from two rooms away, he can best Lotor in a duel and rescue his friends and give the best damn hugs anyone’s ever had. He can hold his best friend’s hand when she misses her father, and brush his shoulder against the shoulder of the boy he maybe-sorta-kinda-really likes, and he can pilot the motherfucking Black Lion.

(do anything, his heart whispers, and this time he actually believes it, and this time everyone else will believe it too)

Black sits back down.

Your friends are excited, they say. Go to them.

Lance looks out of the front window. Lotor is doing his crinkly-nose thing again, but Pidge is waving, Hunk is jumping up and down a bit, Allura is beaming proudly, her hands clasped together, and Keith—

Keith is grinning, wider than Lance has seen in a long time, shouting something that he can only sort of hear through the window but sounds like I told you, I fucking told you!

Lance smiles at them all, though he isn’t sure they can even see him. He exhales, still feeling jittery.

“Thank you,” he says.

Black’s reply is only an odd sort of nudge, the way Lance’s mami would gently poke him in the back when he was little to get him to play with other kids at the playground, like go on and I’m here if you need me. He gets up, looks round the interior with another long exhale, then heads out of the lion and toward his friends.

#voltron #JuLance #lance mcclain #paladins #lions #klance #sorta #my fics #my post #long post #since the readmore doesn't work on all versions of mobile rip

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videogamesincolor · 6 years ago

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Resident Evil 2 (2019) - Not quite the ‘re-imagining’ it purports to be (SPOILERS)

[Written: Feb 4-25, 2019. As always, act brand new on my post, you will catch the fastest block in the west.]

The 2019 iteration of Resident Evil 2 shares a lot of common ground with games like Silent Hill: Shattered Memories versus something like Bluepoint Games’ Shadow of the Colossus or even Sega’s Yakuza Kiwami series.

The first game is a re-imagining – effectively a reboot –, recreated from the ground up with almost little to do with its predecessor. The others are genuine remakes that change very little in the way of the framework or structure of the game and merely recreate or repair its presentation with the graphical fidelity (or control schemes) of the present era.

While both profit and rely on nostalgia, a remake has the specific ‘obligation’ to maintain what came before it. A re-imagining has cart blanche to do what it wants under the pretense that it has no obligation to restore or replicate. In the case of Resident Evil 2, it’s a bit funny in the fact that the existence of its reboot was reliant on the 2002 remake of Resident Evil.

During the re-release of the 2002 Resident Evil remake in 2015, Capcom more or less ransomed the idea of making a “remake” of Resident Evil 2 by placing the burden of that reality on the shoulders of Resident Evil HD. Or rather, the shoulders of their consumer base.

If Resident Evil HD didn’t meet publisher sales expectations, no “remake”. It was an easy sell, of course, because the Gamecube remake was not a game everyone played (on account of Nintendo console exclusivity). To no surprise, Resident Evil HD ended up being their “fastest selling digital title” in 2015. That same year, Capcom officially announced the Resident Evil 2 “remake” was becoming reality, went radio silent, and the aged fandom wept.

Common knowledge, but Capcom originally wanted a remake for RE2O in the vein of the 2002 remake. Mikami, however, was preoccupied with Resident Evil 4. He would never return to look back on the series because Capcom was Capcom, which inspired Mikami to depart from the company.

I think the assumption folk made (at the time), was that because the reboot was necessitated by the financial success of Resident Evil HD, Capcom might go for an experience similar to the 2002 remake, but with the graphical fidelity of present day consoles.

Graphical remasters and remakes are a “hit and miss” production. They happen because publishers (and by extension, developers), know there is profit to made in the machine of nostalgia, not (necessarily) because they’re interested in preserving or restoring old games. You see developers clearly holding back the desire to remix instead of being completely restorative, removing things they either didn’t like or expanding on things that couldn’t be done with previous hardware.

Yet, “if it ain’t broke, just update the visuals, maintain the rest”, is an adage some prefer. More often than not, remakes end up splitting older and younger audiences down the middle regardless of what changes or what remains. And that’s without taking into account bugged and half-hearted releases that never get addressed by devs.

But, Resident Evil 7 (“we swear it’s not a reboot”) happened, and it was fairly clear what direction Capcom was going to go in. While Capcom and fanbase for the game were content with calling Resident Evil 2 a “remake”, Capcom later insisted, “This is not a remake. It’s a retelling, a new game built from the ground up.” So, on the surface, RE2R definitely has more common with Shattered Memories than it does 2002’s Resident Evil. But, where Shattered Memories wasn’t interested in treading so familiar waters, the same cannot be said of this reboot.

The 2019 iteration of Resident Evil 2 is a monkey’s paw wish of a game, just based on the observation of how the established fanbase is reacting and my own personal feelings (as someone with no nostalgia for it). For some, they got exactly the experience they wanted (more RE7). For others, modifying the game (on PC, naturally) to recreate an experience closer to the 1998 release is a must. And then there are some who are simply disinterested in the game, content with the original, or dissatisfied with the creative or business choices made by Capcom (and given Capcom’s track record, I can’t blame them).

Within the game itself, there is a lot about the reboot that feels unfocused, hindered by budget, last minute decisions, a blandly retold narrative, and trying to cling to abstract bones in an effort to maintain the audience it courted, when abandoning those bones might’ve been a better idea.

I. Presentation – The "Realistic” “Re-Imagining”

If Marvin’s final moments with Leon or Claire weren’t enough to convince you the of the severity of the situation, maybe a emotionally manipulative scene with Dad and Zombie child will.

The Resident Evil series is not one known for its screenwriting. If anyone’s being real honest themselves, the shit’s bad 90% of the time, reached peak stupidity in RE6 and just kinda self-destructed from there. YMMV, but Resident Evil is the “so-bad-bad-its-good” game you could enjoy up to a point. The 2002 Resident Evil remake took a particularly poor script localization and improved upon its delivery, right down to the voice direction (which could still be a bit stilted). Yet, you never got the feeling RE1R was striving to be anything other than what it was: A cinematic-based video game that reveled in the aesthetic of Gothic environment design, mood, and b-movie monsters with a world domination plot thrown for extra spice. It had a decent sense of humor, and often poked fun at itself.

RE2O built its foundation on the basic principles of the original (isolation, aesthetic, framing, mood), but focused a little more on its humor, body horror and action-movie flair. The plot of RE2O was as bare-bones as it got with the presentation of its narrative. A new cop and an AWOL cop’s bike enthusiast sister wind up trapped in a police station, accidentally stumble across a corporate conspiracy and must escape a giant underground complex before it blows up. Simple stuff. And the dialog – with a fairly improved localization and English performances – got you from point A to point B.

For everything I didn’t like about RE7 (from its aesthetic, plot, combat, creature design, and its bologna white characters), it was, to some degree, an attempt to recapture the camp and b-movie horror that RE4 so firmly embraced without damaging its atmosphere. RE7 was self-aware enough to embrace the inanity that was its premise in a way the series had only recently attempted again in Resident Evil Revelations 2, which also had its tongue firmly placed in its cheek. Resident Evil is a game comfortable with its silliness, but can still deliver a tense mood and atmosphere.

It’s disappointing that RE2R adopts the tone of, “Please, take me seriously”, with all the self-awareness that RE6 had when it tried to be an action/thriller.

RE2R’s primary issue is tone and presentation. From the jump you can tell the scenario writers of RE2R want the game to be this gritty drama with “complex characters”, grounded in reality, right down to the HBO-levels of profanity and the redundant use of “bitch” littered throughout the script. In an attempt to remold a cast of characters designed for the absurd into “realistic” persons, what you get characters largely disinterested in their circumstances. Claire and Leon seem only mildly inconvenienced by the end of the world. They casually shout over explosions (that might as well not have happened), and often can’t be arsed to sound anything other than annoyed by most events that unfold around them as repetitive canned reactions regurgitate through the speakers.

The script doesn’t trust scenes like Leon’s one-to-one moments with Marvin to sell the dire circumstance. So, casually chauvinistic characters like the Gunshop owner (who got comically bodied by zombies) becomes a saccharine drama piece that stalls the progression of the plot in what might be one of most disingenuous moments I’ve seen in a game. When monsters like William Birkin, Mr. X, the Licker, and the plant monsters eventually begin to appear, they stand out and heighten the already problematic uncanny valley present in the game, and seem better suited for the elder games of the series.

You never really get moments like Chief Irons sorrowfully lamenting, “And to think taxidermy used to be my hobby”, Ada shrugging dismissively at Leon’s pride as a police officer, Annette getting conked upside the head by falling debris, or Claire tricking Mr. X into jumping over the ledge to go after the G-Virus hidden in Sherry’s locket and straight up calling him a sucker. The drab, washed out presentation of the plot, played so deadly serious, honestly made for a joyless experience.

RE2R asks and answers the questions like, “What if Leon was wearing civvies on the way to work?” or “What if Ada Wong pretended to be an FBI agent?” A lot of it comes off like a fan novelization that proudly boasts “My version of how Resident Evil 2 would go”. The first time you read it, maybe it’s an interesting take to indulge, but the more you revisit it, the more unessential or cosmetic the changes end up feeling. (The only real cosmetic change that doesn’t seem weird to me is the idea that the police hijacked a museum and made it their dumping grounds.)

A lot of changes to the plot seem to function largely on the assumption that things like Ada posing as a civilian, Sherry being sent to the police station by her parents (as opposed to leaving her in a unprotected living residence with no immediate help), the RPD knowing about the Mansion Incident and brushing off the survivors (Chris, Jill, Barry, etc.), or Ben the reporter locking himself a jail cell to avoid other monsters, are things that strain suspension of belief or just wouldn’t happen in “real life”. So things of that nature either get removed or reworked altogether, often times for jump scares telegraphed a mile away, or left hanging for prequel baiting (because Capcom knows folk are going to be clamoring for another remake of RE1 and RE3).

The plot and its progression feels condensed down to something that’s like the bullet points version of RE2O. It over-simplifies what was already a simpleton of a narrative, largely to compress a lot of events into two campaigns that now never work in harmony. To add insult to that injury, Claire and Leon never communicate, let alone work together. They pretty much forget the other exists, thus making that friendship pretty non-existent.

Say hello to your friends. Say hello people who care. Nothing’s better than friends.

With regard to the two campaigns, for all the focus Capcom places on Leon – the mascot of the reboot itself –, Claire’s campaign is probably a better presentation of a rebooted RE2O, even with its drawbacks to Claire as a character overall (more on that later). The highlight of Claire’s campaign is the fact that her friendship with Sherry Birkin remains intact. I actually think it gets a better representation here than in the original, or what was only marginally improved in side-games like Darkside Chronicles. The downside is that the two interact even less than they did in RE2O, the plot separating them immediately after forming a partnership.

There are some genuine moments of scripted walk-n-talk between Claire and Sherry as they explore the early parts of the game, which in turn makes Claire a far more engaging character than she is with Leon (who is devoid of any real charm or personality in this reboot). The downside, however, is that Sherry is reduced to a prop, where she was a far more proactive party in the original game. That and by the end of Claire’s campaign, there is a lot of “shitty mom” apologia from Claire, whose basic human decency makes her better guardian than Annette Birkin.

Annette Birkin is questionably re-framed as a sympathetic and even tragic hero character who “never meant for this to happen”, never-mind she and her husband (who is also framed as a victim) were involved in the testing, abuse and deaths of orphaned children in the name of science. Then there’s the whole virus that turns people into zombies. But, yeah, what a tragic figure.

My primary issue with the narrative of Leon’s campaign is that they decide to tie him more into the Umbrella plot (aka, Ada and Claire’s shtick) instead of having him focus on finding a way out and helping other people. The reboot actually had the opportunity to employ the “help the other survivors” bit I always felt was dropped in the original (but revisited in Outbreak), and put Leon’s altruistic character into more action. But, then the reboot removes this motivation altogether by making Marvin and RPD’s rescue efforts a complete and utter failure (thanks, Capcom).

His plot lacks any real momentum, largely because the game nixes his original cast dynamic. Despite nothing crucial happening in his campaign until the end of it, his bears the greatest consequence on the reboot’s compressed narrative. The outright removal of his friendship with Claire, and even the briefest interaction he has with Sherry, makes Leon pretty bland as hell.

The only time he comes off as remotely personable is when he interacted with Marvin. Otherwise, it’s one eye open, one eye closed with this iteration of the character. The fact that he’s less of a take charge personality, and more of pushover (to sad degrees) also makes for less entertaining interaction all around.

You can tell someone with no ability to write or direct romantic subplots handled this. Whoof.

And while I’m not against reworking the Ada/Leon dynamic where the start of an attraction is a little less like a brick to the head (”Ada wouldn’t do that. I KNOW her!”)? A): this is Capcom, so that didn’t happen, B): It’s still pretty much like a brick to the head, only this time it’s last minute, with less foundation, and outright unimaginative. Nothing about the execution of the “romance” in this game works at all. Where Ada and Leon at the very least had a functional rapport and partnership in RE2O, in the reboot the majority of their time is spent in passive aggressive disharmony. The outright antagonism between the two characters in the reboot is not only boring, but not remotely conducive for what follows near the climax.

As something that takes up the majority of his narrative, for worse instead of better, a lot the dialog – a direct consequence of what they choose to do with Ada – is comprised of uninspired “enemies-to-lovers” shtick, right down to drab flirt dialog and throwing one’s words back at the other (“I didn’t realize you were keeping score” / “I didn’t realize we were keeping score”).

The worst thing about his campaign is Ada’s depiction. The reboot effectively turns her into a character who does more damage to her own agenda than Leon being remotely present. I get the writers think having Ada posing as a federal agent is “smart” or “realistic”, but the character instead comes off as more suspicious than a civvie with a gun. She’s a pretty terrible spy in this reboot. Reboot Ada is an antagonistic character with zero charisma or personality, there’s no fun in finding out her ulterior motives. On top of that, the FBI shtick is probably the dullest iteration of the character since her “fringe observer” status in her RE6 campaign.

But, where you had complete control of her and she was motivated by her own subplot (that did intersect with Leon, sometimes), realized in gameplay and plot, RE2R reduces Ada to a purely cinematic and expositional tag-along character with no agency in the narrative. A lot of what was done to and happens to Ada’s character is purely in service of Leon’s plot and actions. They really fire-bombed the character, but if you’re a hardcore Ada/Leon shipper, then her function will have served its purpose, both for you and Leon’s arc.

Marvin Branagh is humanized on such a level he is no longer the same character from the original game, but his role is effectively the same one. Like Ada, Marvin was re-contextualized largely as a sacrifice to Leon’s character arc (this is not a vibe you get with Claire’s campaign ever). Chief Irons, who feels like he appears out of nowhere, with no buildup, has been reduced to this kind’ve ineffectual kidnapper who disappears just as quickly.

Resident Evil is at its best when it knows it’s an interactive horror b-movie – with action elements – and has a director who knows how to balance all those elements. Beyond the singular moment wherein Claire Redfield declares “I’m gonna kill the monster” while wielding a six shooter and Annette Birkin is actively cheering for the death of her Frankenstein husband, RE2R never tries to be that kind’ve game. It actively runs away from schlock, and so it is the less remarkable product.

Things gleamed from Resident Evil 2′s abandoned direction offer a far more interesting “re-imagining” than 2019 end result. To a degree.

Part of the problem with Capcom’s attempt to “re-imagine” RE2O is that it wants to cling so badly to the framework and story beats of the original game instead of creating an identity of its own. It wants the ability to say, “we’re a totally different story!”, but at the same time does very little to become a different story, and exiles itself to this island of nowhere because it actively alienates the connections to the games that come before and after it.

This is where I think, while a lot of people disliked Shattered Memories, it’s a better re-imagining of the original Silent Hill, because its bold enough to actually commit to that definition. Capcom’s execution here is pretty half-hearted, deliberately so.

I’ve only just chosen to acknowledge the prototype of Resident Evil 2, but despite knowing the devs were not happy with the end result (and just scrapped it), it does a lot of things that this reboot honestly should’ve at least attempted.

Not only does it handle the character plots in a way where scenario nonsense would not be a problem, you basically had (what are now) established (or nixed) characters in different roles, reasonably isolated from the RE1 plot, working in tandem with your player characters (Eliza and Leon) and their cast of characters, who were never designed to meet until the apparent end of the game. Also, Marvin had a larger role and a functional relationship with Leon (I hate Capcom).

As a “retelling” of RE2O, RE2R is pretty weak. There are so many ways Capcom could’ve “re-imagine” RE2O if they were being genuine about that, but the final product more or less proves they weren’t. It’s over-reliance on referencing or leaning on things from RE2O hinders more than helps the game. It invites comparison to what is a better product despite its age.

The reboot wants to be taken seriously, and does everything it can to project that image to the detriment of its presentation. RE2O more or less reveled in its silliness, and shlocky horror movie tropes and knew you would enjoy the ride anyway.

Separate Ways, Broken Scenarios

Claire and Leon working together, solving the problems...

RE2O’s scenario system was a fairly interesting way of presenting the story of two characters, and I always wondered why this was never more of a thing in games. Claire and Leon’s plot were separated on two discs (PS1). Leon was first, Claire, second. Completing one character’s “A Scenario” unlocked the other character’s “B Scenario”. Certain gameplay actions created minor consequences to affect the respective character’s scenarios (if you took a certain weapon or item over another, it wouldn’t appear in the other character’s alternate scenario).

The scenario system and the corresponding plots of the player characters were clearly developed in tandem with each other. Whatever goofs arose from therein, the narrative position of the characters remained firmly in place (largely because they were told through cinematics).

Claire’s B scenario always felt the most changed because the cinematics had to accommodate for a change to get Claire in places I was otherwise unaccustomed to seeing her. Legit, some of the cinematic differences were wild.

Back in June 2018, Capcom made it clear that RE2R was not intended to have a scenario campaign at all. The decision was (apparently) made back in 2017, when it was clear doing an A/B scenario was going to be costly on a AAA budget. It was only going to be a single campaign for Leon and Claire. So, Claire and Leon’s campaigns in RE2R are, structurally and plot-wise, “Scenario A and B did a fusion dance”.

In execution, their campaigns are like choose your own adventures. It asks the question “what if you went with Claire?” and its answer is “Leon de-spawns and doesn’t appear again until the end of the game”. It’s definitely not “Two strangers walkie-talkie a plan to escape a zombie infested city”.

Inside or outside, the B Scenario for the player characters barely differentiates itself from Scenario A

In this case, they should’ve stuck to their guns, just released one campaign per character (it’s not exactly like the absence of the B scenarios would actually impact their sales. Not with the fans whipped into a frenzy) and focused on getting their plot to work a little better.

“Claire B” and “Leon B” come off like a slapdash cut-and-paste job that made me question whether or not I had hit something on the controller that was causing the sequences to skip right through whole gameplay segments. Yet, now armed with the knowledge of a year before, it would explain why nothing in this game’s presentation ever feels like it gels, or was hastily put together.

Another issue the RE2R’s alternate scenarios make is not maintaining the characters static narrative placement as RE2O did. I think this is where you really start to see how little interest Capcom had in Claire as a character versus Leon.

RE2R’s “Claire A” Scenario opens with a brief clip of Claire on her bike, talking to someone on the phone about Chris, then hearing something in the gas station store. The game then proceeds to put her in the exact same circumstances as Leon, which is baffling. They really have her doing the Leon shtick and repeats what she did in “Leon A”, but inside the gas station. Whack.

If you play “Leon A” first, she appears out of nowhere like she’s been attacked outside the gas station somewhere nearby. Her motorcycle isn’t even anywhere in view, so, the natural assumption you make is that maybe they’ll show that later when you play “Claire B”. Maybe there’s another area you can explore.

Nah. In “Claire B” the exact same cinematic plays again, trailer music starts, cut to black, and, it jumps to her intro scene in “Leon A”. At no point are you given a unique gameplay level or cinematic for Claire to bridge the gap between Leon heading for the store exit and Claire being chased by zombies that suddenly surrounded the gas station. She lit. just spawned into the area! Whack.

Now for some awkward car dialog

The original game was smart enough to give you a cinematic where she scoped out an empty diner and happened across some zombies while Leon’s boots were being accosted outside by zombies near his jeep. It really sold the idea of events happening concurrently to two different people within the same area.

Claire in “Claire B” doesn’t even get a section where she runs through the city after escaping the T-bone incident. The game just drops you in the graveyard, and then drops you at the rear police station gate where Leon spots her outside. You do a lot of backtracking in RPD with zero character interaction, and then, about an hour into the game, you end up on the exact same track as you did in “Claire A” (meeting Sherry, saving Sherry, Birkin #3-5 fight, escape) with no scene restructuring or whatnot, just the standard “Extended Ending” shtick.

“Leon B” in RE2R shares the exact same problems as “Claire B”. It feels like an abridged version of “Leon A”. Beyond Leon standing outside the gas station store and instant transmission’ing to the back of the police station there are zero story differences. But, with Leon you always have the reassurance that you can just play “Leon A” if you want a more complete experience.

Driving motorcycles in the rain is, factually, an accident waiting to happen

Claire regardless of the scenario you choose for her, A or B, will never get a unique starting gameplay moment of her own. While I think they did a far better job of reworking “Claire A” better than either of Leon’s scenarios, that’s disappointing. Claire really feels like something of a afterthought.

Other detractors from the scenario nightmare include Mr. X following you around in the A Scenario and the B Scenario, instead of the B scenario only. Mr. X went from a fairly unsettling stalker of a boss enemy, who worked on slasher movie principals (the monster appears out of nowhere when you least expect him), then quickly transformed in a wearying exercise of dodging an enemy type that overstays its welcome. Both scenarios feature the helicopter crash and skylight Licker ambush, etc., etc..

If they couldn’t build upon or better realize what the 1998 game did, then the B Scenario was best left to the wayside. Naturally, Capcom didn’t follow their own advice and the want to cater to nostalgia bit them in the ass.

Water is wet.

II. Gameplay – Night of the Living Bullet Sponges

Lickers (who are still terrifying) are practically one-hit-kill monsters now. Yippie.

There is a lot about the cinematic presentation of the elder Resident Evil games that defines much of its identity. An identity strong enough that most games that came out during the high point of its career were content to copy or refine its formula (Temco’s Fatal Frame, Konami’s Silent Hill 3, and Capcom’s Onimusha and Haunting Ground for example). There is a lot that loses the more it – a two decade old franchise – attempts to keep up with an ever-changing landscape of what’s considered modern-gaming-at-the-moment, instead of going to sleep like Onimusha, or even being forcefully put out to pasture like Silent Hill and Dead Space.

RE2R is a standard third person shooter that de-emphasizes cinematic presentation within its plot and its game space. There are no establishing cinematics, and the Kamiya action-movie-esque flair that made the last stretch of the climax what it is, is thoroughly absent. RE2R instead opts to – present the plot of the game completely within the game space itself with minimal cinematics. Sometimes it works, other times, it doesn’t.

Lickers drop unceremoniously on your head in your first encounter, Mr. X just appears out of nowhere then hounds you like Jehovah’s Witnesses, the sound of a helicopter crash goes whizzing by in time for you to walk past the model that’s already in the wall, Marvin becomes a zombie with no real sense of mourning or terror about his passing, Ada Wong gets the worst on-screen send off, etc. Cinematic moments that were meant to emphasize and foreshadow the decaying situation of the police station and the stakes of the characters are just kinda nullified.

Sherry Birkin’s gameplay segment is one of my favorite parts of the reboot.

I think one of the reasons Claire’s campaign leaves a better impression on me than that of Leon’s is what they decided to with Sherry Birkin’s part in her plot. Leon’s scenario has Ada trudging through a boring sewer corridor hunting for fuse boxes and then the game knocks her out so Leon can come to her rescue. With Sherry, you get something a little more creative, something that doesn’t treat her like a momentary distraction from the player character like it does with Ada. The entire orphanage level, from its presentation, to its level design, is probably what I would’ve liked to haven seen more of in the game.

The game puts you in the shoes of Sherry, but instead of traveling through sewers on your own, you’re exploring and searching an empty building that invokes a mood similar to – but not like – 2002’s Resident Evil. Obviously, this choice was made to keep Leon and Claire’s paths from intersecting (fuck that, I guess), and in a lot of ways, the game abandons the mechanics of Resident Evil and becomes a modern Clocktower game.

Chief Irons becomes the scissorman to Sherry’s Jennifer Simpson, and you, the player, have to navigate a fairly limited space to get away from him. They basically expand upon the Natalia stealth segments from Resident Evil Revelations 2 and create a fantastic gameplay segment full of distressing near misses and a legitimate win for Sherry. (I only wish they had allowed her to lock Irons in the bathroom. He would’ve Nicholson’ed his way out anyway.) Unfortunately, it ends with a Deus Ex Birkin appearance and leaves the player asking more questions that it’s not interested in answering on any level. Also Mr. X just spontaneously appears as well, which only compounds the Deus Ex Birkin thing.

Where you could soccer kick a head from a zombie in the original, Claire and Leon can barely expend energy to shake ‘em off their shins. Fantastic.

Combat wise, in a lot of ways, RE2R feels like a chore. A regression of the advancements that RE4 and RE1R was able to strike a balance with, but later iterations leaned too heavily on or used too little. Hell, I even think it’s a regression of how Dead Space approached combat. RE1R encouraged the player of doing away with zombies much in the same fashion as its counterpart and RE2O, with tactile and visible indicators that the zombies were dead (pools of blood under the body, dismemberment, headshots), but, it also threw in the risk of dealing with a new threat (Crimson Heads) if you chose not to oil and burn the bodies you left behind as you cleared the area. The gameplay was solid about letting the player know their resources had been put to good use.

RE4 encouraged smarter gunplay, aided by laser sight, and critical damage hits to other areas of the Ganados. The risk of taking headshots were being attacked by the parasites that could take large chunks of your health out in tandem with the mobs that – one way or another – would catch up to you. Dead Space took the critical hit system of RE4 and transformed it into a mechanic that made the complete dismemberment of the Necromorph critical to survival. Effectively, both you and the enemies were fairly balanced against each the other. You were never so strong that you could blast through your opponents and your opponents were never so OP that you lost unnecessary resources trying to kill them.

The same really cannot be said of RE2R. Nothing about the combat or enemy encounters feels particularly balanced for much of anything save busywork and resource death. There is no real balance between yours and the strength your opponent. I’ve heard RE4’s adaptive difficulty is still in play here, but if it is, its implementation here is not great. I certainly never reached that flow-state where I felt I was in harmony with the game.

Yeah, I didn’t miss this bit at all.

Headshots are nullified in a way they’ve never been in the series, and right off you can tell what the devs consider a “challenge” in terms of gameplay. Zombies eat bullets as badly as any mid-tier B.O.W., regardless of what difficulty setting you choose. In standard I saw six-to-nine bullets go into the head of a zombie and there was no guarantee they were dead until you saw their head explode or maybe saw them twitch. In hardcore (my sister’s preferred mode), zombies will eat eight-to-twelve-or-more bullets to the head and the consequence is the same.

It’s imperative to try and incapacitate the undead, because minimizing your enemy count in RE2R is an exercise of frustration and often, a waste of bullets. Zombies move far faster than they did the original iteration of this game, practically zapping over to you no matter how much space is between you and them. They do just about the same, if not more, damage to you. The common defense against this is grenades, flashbangs and knives. If you haven’t used them for other things (like Ninja vanishing or crowd control), it’s the quickest way to get out of their hold. It’s simply not as reliable or was enjoyable a method to fight the zombies off in the vein RE4 provided (German Suplexes, kicks, elbows to the face, a knife that isn’t dollar store plastic, dodging, etc.).

If you can avoid them, by all means, avoid them. The consequence, however, is if you have to backtrack, well, you might be running into a bigger crowd, one that may include the problem monster of the given area (Lickers, Mr. X, Dogs, Plant Monsters, etc.) and potentially less resources. It’s a particular problem in the police station with Mr. X following you everywhere and not being remotely helpful enough to do some of the killing for you. He just gently pushes them out of the way.

A lot of the time, my sister was preoccupied with head-shots (against all odds) while I spent my time (trying to) cap their knees, and remove their limbs (so they couldn’t grab us after I capped their knees) so we could sprint our way through environments when the opportunity presented itself (largely to save ammo for another problem area). She’s the better shot, I’m only great with projectile weapons (so Claire’s campaign is even better to me in that regard), which I largely prefer on principal of strength. For me, there is no real satisfaction in the game’s combat, not even in a fight-or-flight sense (prime example: the village and castle encounters in RE4), or on a level capable of inducing the worst panic attack in me like Dead Space 2′s opening hospital sequence.

I was frustrated with near misses. My sister was a little more forgiving about the changes despite never being to make the clean headshots she wanted. We only really agreed on mutual dislike of the boss battles, but’s more or less how we feel about all of RE’s bosses. There is not a single one we’ve enjoyed fighting, and the worst ones were all in RE6 (which literally had us not talking to each other for days afterward) and Revelations 2.

Local zombie mocks police station’s lack of shutters

RE2R is pretty generous with its ammo cashes, with most of what you need readily available. The map, for the most part, makes locating items easier, but spotting them poorly lit environments, and around mini horde-like numbers that seemingly materialize out of nowhere is a bit of chore. Rarer types of ammo, like shotgun or automatic weapon ammo are often hidden in safes or lockers with combination locks.

Resource management returns in the reboot, copy-pasted from RE7, right down to the stark menu and a minimalist design that makes item management, I guess, less busy (color wise). It works, so it doesn’t bother me in context. The maps are definitely easier to read and a little more explicit about what items are where, but have otherwise maintained the “cleared” / “in progress” blue and red dynamic.

Depending on the difficulty level you’re playing on --- easy (assisted), normal (standard), or hard (hardcore) ---, your resources will be readily available to you, somewhere in the middle, or few and far between (in practice). Hard mode will have you rely on ink ribbons to save your game (like a standard PS1-PS2 game), and I think there are no checkpoints. Save points are scattered in new locations and are a brief safe haven.

Puzzles in Resident Evil have always been a series of frustrating events, particularly slide-and-complete-the-picture and “find the missing themed piece” puzzles. But, this game actually made me appreciate them, largely because the gun-play is no longer a satisfying aspect (and probably will never be again).

Mechanically speaking, a lot of the puzzles or item hunts from RE2O are sort’ve retained, but they’ve been mixed up or their importance to getting to one place or another has been (extremely) reduced or made even more convoluted. The reboot is definitely not that interested in puzzles, so it feels and is designed less like a dungeon crawler.

Item hunting in order to solve puzzles requires you backtrack quite a number of times through the environment-of-the-moment. However, backtracking is perhaps more nightmare-ish and gauntlet-like than previous entries because it seems like the game spawns more zombies into the area. And with Mr. X basically breaking the exploratory pace of the game, the want to explore your environment is actively discouraged.

[Sighs Loudly For a Thousand Years]

Despite the game’s over-reliance on Mr. X, breaking from the series formula of not over-exposing its mini-bosses (the Regeneradors, Verdugo, or even that huge Centipede in a Trenchcoat for example, were not following you everywhere), Mr. X was, for a short time, the only ‘combat’ element in this game that invoked the right kind of déjà vu.

It was actually satisfying knocking him down, and ducking his punches at the last minute. I mean, at least it was in levels having nothing to do that Ada Wong segment. (Then. he. kept. coming. back.)

Ending him isn’t quite as satisfying as it is in the original game. Not because he effectively became an SNK boss, but because the component that makes that fun (The Resurrection of Ada Wong and the emancipation of the Rocket Launcher) was removed entirely from the game for a sequence far, far blander in comparison.

III. Non-Union for Billion Dollar Corporations

Around 2015 or so, there were rumblings (outright vocalizations) from unionized voice actors that shed some light on some particularly horrible business practices that developers and publishers were carrying out on voice actors. They were either not being paid their due, or not allowed proper rest-time during the jobs they worked on. Big studios like Insomniac Games, EA Games, Activison, and the like were mistreating voice actors, often to the point where some confessed to experiencing vocal damage, stress or injuries sustained from shitty work conditions and people who clearly viewed their occupation as a lesser division of their project’s production.

At the same time, well before the strike became officiated, Capcom made the conscious decision not to hire unionized voice actors for the production of the Resident Evil 2 reboot. No one knew about this until 2017, when the game was well on its way to being released the following year (before a delay pushed it to 2019) and the Strike was ongoing. Alyson Court (on-again-off-again VA of Claire Redfield), Matthew Mercer (the most recent VA for Leon), and Courtenay Taylor (the most recent VA for Ada Wong) all announced that they weren’t reprising their roles in the game because the reboot was not a union project, but it was not a result of the strike.

Some vocalized their displeasure with this, even going as far as to say that they wouldn’t buy the game in a show of support of the actors. Others aren’t sparing it a glance because they’re otherwise disappointed with the creative direction anyway. But if the reception of the game from basic users – aware of the circumstances or not – is anything to go by, solidarity will typically lose out to FOMA (Fear of Missing Out). Especially if you’re not getting anything out of it personally or emotionally as a consumer of media.

I’m not particularly interested in demeaning non-union voice actors, (I’ve watched and paid for many a-thing that used non-union labor). Capcom, despite working on union projects, also continues to dabble in non-union label as well. I know Capcom’s likely wasn’t interested nor aiming to help voice actors not represented by SAG-AFTRA (or other organizations) become better known or gain better opportunities.

The less money they can probably shell out with non-union work, the better it is for them in the long run. Knowing the striking voice actors didn’t remotely get what they wanted out of negations (and probably didn’t get the support they wanted on account of whataboutism) will probably only embolden Capcom and other publishers and developers to make/continue behavior like this, whether or not another strike ever occur.

Resident Evil has never been particularly known for its voice acting beyond the scope of how terribly it started out in 1996 and kinda petered out on the platform of “meh, it’s not completely terrible” with later entries.

The series could hire some fantastic voice actors (Rino Ramano, Karen Dyer, Sally Cahill, and Paul Mercier, for example), and a lot of them can deliver some dud performances regardless of experience. At the end of the day, unless they have an equally strong director and screenwriter, you’re going to end up with an embarrassment of riches that may become memes one day (“Complete. Global. Saturation.”).

That said, RE2R’s issue seems to lie primarily within the writing. In an attempt “humanize” characters, major to minor, the script is often littered with profanity that not only distracts from the point of what you’re reading or listening to, but adds unnecessary fat to a script that’s already bogged down with dialog and text.

The downside to a rebooting a 20 year old game, is when corporations indulge in fandom bullshit. RE2R is pretty rife with cutesy dialog meant to whip the “Cleon” shippers into a frenzy. Its nauseating, really.

Claire and Leon’s conversation at the back of the police station is a prime example of that: Instead of having the dialog delivering urgency of the scene, the objective of the characters we get an aimless exchange full of flirty dialog, and two characters not all that concerned with zombies materializing behind them (given they take forever to put the fire under their boots). In RE2O, at least the writers were smart enough to have the characters meet in a zombie-free room or hall.

I’ve seen people make the Realism™ argument constantly with this game (esp. when counterpointing the gameplay criticisms), but, "realism” is a weak argument and esp. when you’re simply looking to be dismissive. When dialog begins to wander from its point, when profanity hinders more than helps your delivery, your story not only loses impact, it rather shows you’re a mite lazy or weak as a writer.

Comparatively, RE2O was able to communicate the urgency, anger and tone of their characters, and under no circumstances were they this reliant on profanity or long-winded dialog. The issue isn’t that profanity is present, or that the game is text or dialog heavy, it’s how its executed. And at present, the execution is lacking in a strong focus or reduces the game to script written by someone who just realized, “wait, I can make characters swear????”

I can honestly see why a lot of protagonists in survival-horror games were silent for so long outside of cinematics, or simply had substituted thoughts (”I better find Ashley quick”). Running commentary really does break the immersion.

Claire and Leon go from mildly relatable to mechanical models spewing canned reactions that lost their bite forty minutes ago. It’s like being stuck with multiple versions of the Generic Husband from RE7 who “what the fucks?” at every single thing when given the opportunity. So, in a lot of ways, it has a lot of the same problems that made the dialog in Resident Evil Revelations 2 anguish to listen to (hello, Moria Burton), but it lacks such charming (/s) quips like, “Holy balls, my life is awesome!”

That said, not all of the performances are terrible. The voice actors for Claire (Stephanie Panisello), Marvin (Christopher Mychael Watson) and Sherry (Eliza Pryor) probably leave the greatest impression, and are arguably the strongest performers in the game. Christopher Mychael Watson in particular gives a wildly different performance depending on who you’re playing as (Leon or Claire) and has the strongest rapport with Stephanie Panisello.

Nick Apostolides, on the other hand, he just turns in a really unremarkable performance as Leon. Like, in comparison to Mercer, Mercier, he simply does not charisma to inject personality into what is an otherwise really boring version of Leon. He definitely doesn’t have the hammy, but dead-serious delivery of Paul ”why does no one listen to me?” Haddad (Leon’s original VA).

I think one of the more disappointing sequences in the game is when Leon returns to the main lobby in the station and gets jumped by zombie Marvin. Instead of sounding devastated, Leon just sounds mildly disappointed his C.O is a zombie (Panisello gives you a better impression of Claire’s heartbreak). And because this scene isn’t a cinematic, you as a player are just running around in circles hoping you have enough ammo to kill the bullet sponge zombie Marvin. When Marvin is finally a gory mess on the ground, Leon saying, “Don’t worry, Lieutenant. I’ll stop this” (paraphrasing) to the pieces of Marvin’s body, comes off as unintentionally hilarious, right down to the delivery of Apostolides.

My feelings are about the same on Jolene Andersen (but we all can’t be Sally Cahill, can we?), but also makes me wonder why Capcom didn’t go the distance to hire a Chinese-American voice actress for Ada. They clearly had the opportunity to do so, they found a Black actor for Marvin, but they just didn’t bother with Ada.

The worst performances out of the bunch is probably Daddy Gunshop owner, “Hello Human” reporter guy, Annette “You’ll Never Get the G-Virus” Birkin, and Chief Irons.

IV. Capcom’s Adventures in Sexism Rebooted

One of these characters had some thought put into their design. It’s not the character on the left.

The Resident Evil series is no stranger the sexualization or objectification of female characters. Historically, for every step forward Resident Evil takes with the presentation of its female characters, it takes six steps back. If there is a female character in the series, the chances are she’s going to be wearing something meant purely for the male gaze, while her male companions wear something far more appropriate for the game’s plot. It only gets worse with alternate costumes, which are typically comprised of sexy school girl fantasies, Daisy Duke hot pants, anti-Black fetishism, and little red riding hood looks. (And no, costumes like Chris’ Sailor Man and Mad Max looks aren’t a counterpoint gotcha.)

RE2R, on the surface, seems to be yet another step-up in the presentation department for female characters in the series. Claire is wearing a leather jacket over a black tank top and sports jeans instead of shorts in new her default costume, they even presented Ada Wong in a world’s ugliest looking trenchcoat. Even better, one of Claire’s alternate costumes is a suit pants and shirt look. Claire has three alternate costumes that aren’t even remotely fanservice-y in the least and it’s great.

Then Capcom announced the “Classic Costume” for Claire and finally revealed Ada Wong without the trenchcoat, and it was business as usual. Claire Redfield’s “Classic Costume” in the reboot is, for lack of a better word, closer to fanservice-y than the original leotard under shorts, black shirt, and vest combo ever turned out to be. The only marked improvement made are the shorts are equal to the length of the leotards and no longer look like underwear.

Where the tank top worked with her new jacket and jeans, it throws the entire look of the original costume’s framing off, and based on the cinematics. While it’s nowhere near as sexualized as her Revelations 2 alt costume, Capcom’s intent here is pretty clear.

Effectively, Claire looks closer to a character who would appear in a Michael Bay produced horror film, whose talking points are usually how sexy the actress makes being terrified look. In the original she was simply meant to look “cool”. When she removed the vest, and wore the holster over her black shirt, she did.

Ada Wong goes from wearing a halter top dress with leggings, and flat heeled shoes that looked fairly maneuverable in, to looking as though she’s been zip-locked into a red slip that doesn’t fit her, finished off with a tacky tiny black bow, a choker and two inch heels.

The entire look of it rather screams at you like a flashing ad banner advertising for an explicit website fetishizing Chinese-American woman. A lot of the fan art coming out of the fandom for Ada Wong in the remake is reflecting more or less that, so the target audience has been completely satisfied in this regard.

She looks absolutely ridiculous in gameplay segments because the dress was designed with no reactionary physics. It doesn’t flex the way a dress does around legs. It looks like a bad mod made by a fan that wanted a “sexier” looking Ada Wong.

Even outside the context of alternate costumes, female characters like 18-Year old Rebecca Chambers (who isn’t even in this game) ends up being oddly sexualized in a photograph where she was originally just sitting on the ground with a basketball in front of her leg, grinning like a goofy kid on a Scholastic paperback from the 90s.

Were it not for the fact that they were legitimately aiming to make Annette Birkin look undesirable, I’d be surprised that she didn’t appear in this game wearing a lab coat, half-open dress shirt, office skirt and three inch heels with heavy makeup.

Meanwhile, Leon Kennedy gets a “Classic Costume” that gets no [major] alternations to its look and thus is restored, unlike Claire or Ada, normal civilian clothing, and a Noir costume. Ada basically got no alternate costumes despite her playability, and I think it was the same with Sherry as well?

Standard, tried and true sexism aside, when it comes right down to it, even if your female character has the reputation of characters like Leon, “How can I make her sexier?” is a question Capcom all too readily answers instead of being creative.

V. RE Engine or, a Trip into the Dark Valley of Uncanny Gray People Land

Photorealism in games isn’t something I’m crazy about and how I react to it ultimately depends on the developer. A lot of video games have been worse for it – dead eye and plastic looking characters is an issue that persists – while very few have used it to the advantage of their creativity.

The major thing that puts me off is the blandness of a photo-realistic white faces. Developers are have shown they can sleepwalk a photo-realistic white face with no issues, but when it comes to the faces of people of color, well, either their biases start to show in the designs (its real easy to make a caricature of Black or non-Black face for video game devs) or their limitations are inherent in their how they see faces that don’t look like them.

I find myself struggling to say what I enjoyed about this game on a visual aspect, because its biggest detriment is without a doubt the RE Engine.

Environment Design - You want it Darker

Creative Assembly’s Alien Isolation did something I really liked. And that’s make the player reliant upon its darkness. You spend as much time in the light as you do enshrouded in the dark. The A.I. systems of Amanda Ripley’s enemies: Hostile humans, androids on an aggressive warpath of helpfulness, and the Xenomorph make hyper-aware of just how exposed you are bathed in the light, just as the dark and shadow make you equally aware that you’re just as open to an attack from the Xenomorph who needs no light to see you should it ever spot you therein.

A lot of the design philosophies in RE2R were built on the groundwork established by RE7, but its disadvantage was the player’s familiarity with RE2O’s level design. In a lot ways, I think they opted for pitch black environments to break that confidence. There are several environments throughout the presentation of RE2R that are turn-the-lights-off dark (which makes for an unpleasant experience for my eyes), but in a way that’s more superficial than essential.

Most areas in the game contain low-level lightning most of the series is known for, but it lacks any of the color and saturation from older games that make set pieces stand out. The most light you’ll see in RE2R is within the lobby, library and upper offices of the police station and the underground lab at the climax of the game.

The closest the game ever gets to replicating the atmosphere and mood of the older Resident Evil games is probably the orphanage level and the later street level in Claire’s campaign. The lightning and shadows are perfect there. But, more often than not, RE2R is content to plunge you into a adversarial darkness repeatedly with a flashlight. In addition to the game’s muted or desaturated colors and washed out look, nothing about the environment design really stands out as remarkable outside of the aforementioned levels.

I don’t think I’ve read so many complaints about having to adjust the contrast, color, brightness, and etc just to get one area or another to look normal before this game (in relation to RE). It’s apparently bad enough that PC Modders are creating mods that fix the overall presentation of the game (more color contrast, sharper image, improved lightning). Devil May Cry 5‘s environment and lightning design tends to looks leagues better than this game, and its got its fair share of bland looking levels.

The screenshot is edited, but this is a solid approximation of how dark it is in a lot of areas.

Where almost no light worked in a game like Amnesia: The Dark Descent, SOMA, Penumbra, or even Silent Hill, RE2R’s design template actively discourages exploration in a way the older games did the opposite. It gives you the impression that the game has more to hide than it does to show you. The 2002 Resident Evil remake is still one of the best examples of cinematic light, dark, and shadow created purely for navigation purposes. The game is seventeen years old (holy shit), and legit, I don’t think there is a Resident Evil game in the series that nails how essential lightning is to your environment like this one.

On an aesthetic level, the reboot fails to capture the period of the world that its predecessor was basically developed, lived and breathed in. Setting aside product placement (“Pepsi”) and musical cues (“Baby one More Time”) is beyond Capcom’s budget, it’s the little things about the environment and level design in the reboot that really fails to say, “Here lay 1998. We’re a year away from the full-blown Y2K craze, floppy discs, and pagers were still a thing.”

There’s a tape recorder, yes, there are big, blocky computers sitting on hardwood desks and gas prices I still can’t believe my father grouched over in comparison to the shit they have us paying now, but, a lot of those things feel like superficial window dressing on a poster board.

The environment design and world of RE2R feels very much like a 2019 era world with very little ringing true of the 90s.. I don’t think any damages the authenticity of the world much like the design of the characters – who look a little too 21st century as opposed to individuals trapped in a moment of time – now twenty years ago – and the same can be said of the secret evil lair of the Umbrella Corporation.

Everything in the final level of the game feels like something of Paul W.S. Anderson’s Resident Evil (The HIVE), and less like a lab that was built and constructed with what a 90s era architect would think was cutting edge tech and aesthetic of the late 1990s. It got to a point where I honestly think they should’ve just set the reboot in 2018.

Character Design - Petrified Faces and Awkward Mouths

He’s lit. melting in the rain right now.

Photo-realistic characters live and die by how well they imitate life without setting off the alarms in your mind. RE2R falls on the spectrum of “missing your mark” in a lot of ways. Characters in RE7 had the look of wax mannequin dolls walking around terrorizing you’re equally doll-esque player characters (with no heads). Nothing about how these characters were rendered and animated was particularly great, and it constantly triggered the meant response of “there is something wrong with what I’m looking at” that often comes with the uncanny valley.

The biggest issue facing the grand majority of the white characters RE2R is the fact that Capcom is still manipulating faces like they’re still using stylized animation and not an engine “based in reality” to its detriment. Characters are puppet-esque, or look particularly unfinished in the washed out environment and desaturated colors. This is noticeable in throwaway characters like the trucker in the opening cinematic (eating a burger that reacts unlike food) with a face that seems ready to melt off of its model at any moment, Chief Irons, “Hello Human” reporter guy, and the father and zombie daughter from the trite Gunshop sequence begging for its SAG award. None of these characters emote or animate well and draw the eye to the imperfections of the engine than wow you with its animation.

Among the central cast, the characters that look the worst rendered in the RE Engine are probably Claire Redfield and Annette Birkin. Both characters look as though the face models simply did not cooperate with Capcom tweaking the faces. Annette is more puppet-like than say, Claire (who at least has genuine moments of humanity). The less than stellar facial and lip animation is extremely noticeable on Annette's model who might’ve been promoted to minor antagonist at the last minute, because she has no business moving so robotically. It probably doesn’t help matters that Capcom designed her character with the philosophy of “working women don’t care about their appearances” (paraphrased) in mind, which makes their changes to Ada and Claire all the more suspect.

Claire’s biggest issue seems to be that Capcom simply spent less time on her than they did Leon. The model’s face is often stiff and under-animated, so it looks like Claire’s face is struggling to emote. This is especially notifiable when you compare Claire’s model to her living counterpart (who is far more expressive in a still image than her 3D model). Capcom more than likely tweaked the model’s face more than a little bit, and to the character’s detriment. Honestly, it’s comparable to how she ended up looking in CGI film Degeneration (where her face barley animated). Claire’s model really, really, really needed more work, or Capcom needed to find a face they could work with better than the one they chose.

Leon is the character they clearly spent more time on, at least in terms of details. In general, his animations are probably stiffer than Claire. Most of the cinematics involving close-ups of Leon’s face make it appear as though Leon has mastered the art of talking through one’s teeth without moving their lips, and he’s not particularly emotive unless the emotion is an extreme one.

Out of the characters with any remote screen-time or plot-related dialog, the only ones that look slightly more remarkable are Ada Wong and Marvin Branagh. Marvin in particular might be the best example of what the RE Engine can do with unique faces and competent performance from the animators and the actor.

Ada Wong looks better than she ever did in Resident Evil 6, and while this not my favorite rendition of her character on any level, she is only female character in the game – in terms of character design – that got a decent face model.

The only drawback with these two characters that Marvin looks as ashy white as the white characters (and no blood-loss isn’t a justification for that) and he shares the same thousand yard dead-eye look in his eyes that a lot of the other characters have. The less-than-stellar facial animation is more than a little noticeable in Ada Wong’s sequences a well (was she snarling or trying to annunciate words at Annette?).

The zombies and non-human enemy types look better suited the grayscale, clay-esque look the RE Engine gives everything. Zombies require almost little to no real facial animation, but against the backdrop of reality they are truly out of place (to reiterate). The same can be said of characters like Mr. X or William Birkin’s monster form.

The big sell Capcom made with the zombies and monsters in RE2R is that they could render insane amounts of gore, based on the human anatomy. On paper, it definitely sounds like a cool idea, in execution? I’ve been so desensitized to gore and human guts – within the fictional spectrum – that this really doesn’t impress me. (My sister, on the other hand, needed a moment.)

It’s like, “Yeah, that guy’s arm is are hanging off alright.” But, unless you’re giving me RE4 or Dead Space level styled deaths, where the gore is put on display with a sort’ve Evil Dead irreverence, well, the most your doing is just demonstrating gross anatomy. It’s cool, but not exactly satisfying, esp. when taking the clay-esque look of the models into consideration. The masturbatory gore dislay is also probably a big reason why firearms and explosives against zombies no longer have the desired effect. The most you’ll be doing a lot of the time is peeling the skin off of a model, which I guess, is your cue to go, “Wow, look these physics, look at that gore.”

There are some developers who really know how to work with photo-realistic environments and, even moreso, how to render photo-realistic characters, be they based on living people or not. Remedy Entertainment (using the in-house engine, Northlight Engine), is one, and Naughty Dog – who still rely heavily on stylization – has only recently entered that threshold during the PS4 era.

A lot of this of course, is a consequence of experience with that medium. Naughty Dog’s history with more animated styles definitely helps more than harms their photo-realistic models and environment. Remedy Entertainment’s persistent desire to render the real world in a 3D environment has simply improved as the tech has gotten better.

Capcom, like Square Enix and the late Konami, was always at its best with hybrid blend of animation and photo-realism. Resident Evil was rendered and designed in such a way that it straddled the line of photo-realism and stylistic animation in way no other games did. It wasn’t too real, and it wasn’t too cartoony.

That creative style lent itself to their level design as one was often not without the other. The Gothic horror design of mansions or European countries, and the stark familiarity of places like a police station, a cruise ship or a prison island, were often picture-esque or surreal by design. The RE Engine is probably the biggest step backward in terms of design and atmosphere.

VI. Conclusion – “All Employees Proceed to the Bottom Platform.”

Hey, look, a callback to Resident Evil 2. Neat.

As a game I played with my sister, passing he controller to her every fifteen minutes, I had fun based purely on how she reacted to the game. Whatever my quibbles, the most fun I’ve had with this game is probably screaming and yelling with my sister, and acting as her personal exposition machine.

She asks so many questions about what the hell is going on in the greater scheme of the plot. She doesn’t care, per-say, but she asks anyway because she knows I like reading Wikipedia and thus have the answers. I can only tell her what I know from the previous games, which I know effectively don’t count for shit with this reboot.

That said, the reboot just made me weirdly appreciative of what went into the creation of the original Resident Evil 2, especially in terms of structure, gameplay and presentation. The reboot is ultimately something that feels like it was produced within a AAA space, right down to its paid DLC offerings, which once would’ve been natural unlockables in the game. It’s budget was probably sunk by the over-lavish requirements of the RE Engine, and just from looking at it, this game had budget it was straining against. It ultimately ends up making its predecessor all the more crucial and unique.

It kinda highlights just how useless exploiting nostalgia is in the process of replicating things. You don’t get the same results, and in the end you’re only playing an imitation of something that was a consequence of the right people coming together at the right period of time. It’s what makes things like polygonal character skins, or “play this game with lower resolution settings”, give the impression that devs largely miss the point or misunderstand what people like or continue to like about older productions, even when a newer imitation of it comes out (the discussions people have about Metal Gear Solid vs. The Twin Snakes highlights this best, I think).

I enjoyed Bluepoint’s Shadow of the Colossus, they went above and beyond the call of duty to reproduce the original, but I often find myself playing the older far more than its 2018 remake, because the latter ultimately lacks what Team Ico put into that game.

In its attempts to be a retelling of the game, RE2R probably would’ve been better off abandoning the entire framework and creating something entirely new (I say again). But because it never tries to be different enough from its counterpart, especially in terms of story beats, the end result is a condensed soup with missing flavor. Otherwise, I think restorative would’ve been a better move than remixing it. Not something I could say about Shattered Memories. If I could describe RE2R, outside of the interaction I had with it in the company of my sister, “boring” would be the kindest descriptor I could give it. Everything about its aesthetic, to the delivery as a much toned down version of RE2O, was not gripping [for] me.

Comparing this reboot to something like DMC5, something using the same engine, but manages to be more vibrant in design and presentation, makes RE2R look unremarkable in comparison. The visual quality of the game tended to remind me of the presentation of Ready at Dawn’s The Order 1886, which was also heavily reliant on photo-realistic graphics and a washed out presentation.

This game is nowhere near as engaging as its original. And because the campaigns are basically a Frankenstein hybrid of the original A/B set up, a lot of the changes to the plot seem really superfluous or detrimental to the structure overall.

They really did Ada dirty in this game.

Playing the events of RE2O as more overly dramatic or serious effectively makes for a really dull game. A more reality-based RE isn’t something I’m particularly interested in, especially since the end result appears to be a less exciting product. The fact that they did so little with or reduced characters like Marvin and Ada – who are nowhere near as present or independent of the scenario characters as they should be, just makes for a greater disappointment.

RE2R is a reboot of the original 1998 game in all the ways that are reflective of RE7’s design principals, carrying the pretense of realism on its shoulders. RE2R keeps some of the bones of RE2O, but discards the rest in exchange for something trying really hard to be different, but familiar enough to invoke déjà vu. If you spent the radio silence hoping for the lavish recreation Mikami made of his 1996 original in 2002 for Gamecube audiences, you sadly won’t find it here. If anything this more or less proves something like that will never happen again.

RE2R strives to be a third person iteration of RE7 with an older title. If you weren’t crazy for what a lot of people more or less called “Resident Evil in Name Only” when it was released in 2017, chances are you won’t enjoy your time with RE2R. If you were completely and utterly for RE7, the RE Engine and all that this blueprint entails, you’ll basically have a good time with RE2R and whatever else gets remade under this umbrella.

The last temptation I have toward this game is playing it heavily modified on the PC because the mods for this game actually look like something to mess with. I’m just waiting for the “Classic Ada” costume mod, because that dress is some of the laziest character design I’ve ever seen.

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