#this song probably had the biggest impact any song has ever had in my life | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

cheese-enjoyer9471 · 5 months ago

Text

Getting to Know You Meme

thank you @russenoire for tagging me!! this took a while :3

01) are you currently in a serious relationship? nah.

02) what was your dream growing up? i think my dream was to be a vet. i've always loved animals since i was a kid, and i would always study animal facts in my free time. that didn't change until i learned about how many vets had to do surgeries to help the animals, and i don't think i have the guts for that.

03) what talent do you wish you had? the talent to actually be able to do whatever i set my mind to.

04) if someone bought you a drink what would it be? A cup of tea brewed from Twinings Earl Grey tea leaves.

05) favorite vegetable? i'm fine with most vegetables, but lettuce is great. i guess you could say i'm just like my first name, 楊（羊）

06) what was the last book you read? IRON WIDOW BY XIRAN JAY ZHAO. I NEED THE SEQUEL ASAP BEFORE I TEAR MY HAIR OUT.

07) what zodiac sign are you? uhhehhhhh...i'm 99.9999999% sure I'm an Aquarius.

08) any tattoos and/or piercings? none of the above!!

09) worst habit? wassup gang it's the professional procrastinator here :D

10) what is your favourite sport? badminton.

11) do you have a pessimistic or optimistic attitude? depends. i'm generally optimistic about others, and pessimistic towards myself. i think the closest thing to describe my view would be optimistic nihilism. nothing has value until you give it value.

12) tell me one weird fact about you. i have a small wing-shaped birthmark on my right shoulder blade.

13) do you have any pets? YEAH!! I LOVE MY DOG!!

14) do you think clowns are cute or scary? depends on the clown.

15) if you could change one thing about how you look, what would it be? i believe that i can change whatever i want to change myself.

16) what colour eyes do you have? very very dark brown eyes.

17) ever been arrested? i have not, hope not, and probably will not.

18) bottle or can soda? can. crisp snap can opening is my hobby.

19) if you won $10,000 today, what would you do with it? save it.

20) what's your favourite place to hang out at? indoors, preferably somewhere private like home.

21) do you believe in ghosts? probably. i'm curious about their existance.

22) favourite thing to do in your spare time? gaming (?)

23) do you swear a lot? i cannot deny that question.

24) biggest pet peeve? well.

25) in one word, how would you describe yourself? worthless. i have yet to give myself meaning, and i will do anything to grant myself worth in my own eyes.

26) do you believe in/appreciate romance? somewhat.

27) favourite and least favourite food? a single favourite? what's that? if i had to choose, i think it would be tonkatsu. i despise the disgusting school lunch eggs.

28) do you believe in god? to some extent.

29) what makes you happy: listening to music, being in my zone, eating good food, feeling the rain on my skin, and being with those i can be comfortable with.

30) currently listening/the last thing you listened to: Honkai Impact 3rd v4.6 [Unequaled, Unrivaled] (1 HOUR EXTENDED). i will not elaborate.

31) favorite place to spend time: home.

32) favorite lyric: "No one's gonna save you now So you better save yourself" from After the Storm by Kali Uchis

33) recommend a film: euhhhhh. i'm not really a movie person, so i can't think of anything.

34) recommend a book: Iron Widow by Xiran Jay Zhao. I am never going to stop yapping about this book for the upcoming three weeks.

35) Recommend a band, a song, or album: Getz/Gilberto by Stan Getz and Joao Gilberto. it's my all time favourite.

36) recommend a TV show: do animes count? if so, i'd be here for a long while.

37) where are you from, and do you still live there? Where have you lived? taiwan, and still am.

38) do you have any pets or animals in your life? how did you find/get them? i used to have a dachshund for a few years. the lil guy used to be my parents prior to my birth, but they entrusted the doggo to one of their friends during my mom's pregnancy. there was a while when the friend had to move homes, so the dachshund came to our home for some time. after that, the dachshund returned to my parents' friend. during 2020, my family bought a shetland sheepdog. he's the silliest floofer ever and i love him.

39) what's the most unusual thing you've ever eaten? i don't think i've eaten anything weird, but i can tell you something weird that i drank. i once drank melted chocolate ice cream added with one m&m, a bit of salt and pepper, a bit of sugar, shredded paper, more melted ice cream, a gummy bear that fell on the floor, and a few more ingredients i can't remember. i only took a sip.

40) how did you 'find' fandom? discovered it upon scrolling through wings of fire media.

41) make a list of 5 things that you see without getting up. an hourglass, a paper shredder, a calculator, a tray of my accessories, and this very laptop i'm typing on.

42) how do you style your hair? i just tuck some behind my ears, but i let the rest be.

decided to just tag some people, no pressure in joining!!

@aurae-rori @theinsomniacnerd @cnth-rb @cinnimartinez @lala1236 @cloud-player @woahgenshinimpact @aelxr @jazziethejazz

Getting to Know You Meme

tagged by @ygodmyy20! thankee kindly.

01) are you currently in a serious relationship? nope. can't say i miss it.

02) what was your dream growing up? i had a new one every month. the one that stuck around the longest was 'astronaut' until i learned that NASA's manned space program hasn't done much since skylab, outside of testing the limits of human endurance in low earth orbit. still cool! but i'll keep my unnaturally dense bones, thanks.

03) what talent do you wish you had? the talent to work any job i wanted without medication.

04) if someone bought you a drink what would it be? a cocktail of some sort. most likely a gin and tonic, a negroni or a mojito.

05) favorite vegetable? too many to count. easier for me to tell you what i don't like: green beans. if they're only palatable tempura-fried, i don't need them in my life.

06) what was the last book you read? currently working through your brain's not broken, by tamara rosier, ph.d.

07) what zodiac sign are you? virgo. and no, i don't wanna hear about how virgos are hyper-organized control freaks. i am neither of these things.

08) any tattoos and/or piercings? five in a single ear, one in the other. two make up an industrial piercing. i have no tattoos but want one of the kageyama brothers from mp100 someday.

09) worst habit? getting too hung up on the 'right time' to do things.

10) what is your favorite sport? to play? dodgeball. to watch? either figure skating or tennis.

11) do you have a pessimistic or optimistic attitude? recovering pessimist here. i'm optimistic about some things and nihilistic about others.

12) tell me one weird fact about you. i never learned to ride a bicycle.

13) do you have any pets? no. i love cats and regularly-washed dogs though.

14) do you think clowns are cute or scary? i don't have a strong opinion about clowns, tbh.

15) if you could change one thing about how you look, what would it be? nothing. anything i can change is changeable.

16) what color eyes do you have? brown.

17) ever been arrested? nope.

18) bottle or can soda? bottle. though i don't soda very often.

19) if you won $10,000 today, what would you do with it? pay off my student loans and save the rest.

20) what's your favorite place to hang out at? a vedanta temple in the foothills here, or a park on a hill with a historic frank lloyd-wright-designed home.

21) do you believe in ghosts? maybe. i know people who can see them.

22) favorite thing to do in your spare time? singing. or learning.

23) do you swear a lot? very much so.

24) biggest pet peeve? how long you got? we could be here all week.

25) in one word, how would you describe yourself? iconoclastic.

26) do you believe in/appreciate romance? *shrug* i believe in and appreciate love, wherever it comes from.

27) favourite and least favourite food? does anyone have a single favorite? anyone? i do not. least favorite food is canned vegetables, except for beets and corn.

28) do you believe in god? i believe in the divine, a Self that we are one with and all have access to. whatever you choose to call that is up to you.

29) what makes you happy: soft fluffy things, palpable texture in weaves and knits, sweet or creamy fruits, singing and/or listening to music, my friends, learning something new.

30) currently listening/the last thing you listened to: hiroko suzuki, 'bara wa utsukushiku chiru'.

31) favorite place to spend time: at home.

32) favorite lyric: 'love is like the scabs from sunburn' from the OP to kenda master ken.

33) recommend a film: at random? good morning, by yasujirō ōzu.

34) recommend a book: oranges are not the only fruit, by jeannette winterson; islands, the universe, home, by gretel ehrlich.

35) Recommend a band, a song, or album: uchikubi gokumon doukoukai, 'shufu no michi' (way of the house-husband)

36) recommend a TV show: rose of versailles. soapy as hell, but great if you love historical dramas and anime. it's fairly well-researched too.

37) where are you from, and do you still live there? Where have you lived? the pacific north american coast; i'm still here. i've lived in texas and georgia, USA.

38) do you have any pets or animals in your life? how did you find/get them? no pets.

39) what's the most unusual thing you've ever eaten? bull penis. 0/10 do not recommend. the most unusual thing i've actually enjoyed is probably fried crickets.

40) how did you 'find' fandom? got obsessed with a story and wanted to share that love with other people. didn't happen until my mid-thirties though with steven universe.

41) make a list of 5 things that you see without getting up. a heat gun, a soldering iron that i have never used for actual soldering, the laptop i'm typing this on, the laptop connected to my projector, a plastic mask.

42) how do you style your hair? usually a tall bun. my hair is long enough to sit on and this keeps it out of my way.

as always, no pressure: @yaraneechan @eshithepetty @impmansloot @gumy-shark @sukunekatano

@cheese-enjoyer9471 @sulfurousmirrorscapes @creativenicocorner or anyone else who sees this and wants to!

10 notes · View notes

entertainment · 4 years ago

Photo

Black Excellence 365 Spotlight: Nick Sagar

If you're a fan of Netflix's The Princess Switch film franchise, you probably recognize Nick Sagar, who starred as Kevin opposite Vanessa Hudgens. His work spans a variety of genres, from Victor Aldertree in Shadowhunters to Charles in Tyler Perry's The Have And The Have Nots and Detective Alonzo Loya in Queen of the South. Nick took the time to chat with us about how he prepares for and approaches roles, the importance of representation, and how he practices self-care. Check it out:

How do you prepare for a role, and does your approach change for each project?

I usually prepare differently for each specific role. The first step is always to read the script several times over. That's a great technique I learned. So much jumps out at you the third or fourth time over.

What’s going through your head when you’re filming a scene?

I try to be present in the scene and in the character's thoughts and world. I do that by creating the character's world vividly and imaginatively in my mind. That way, it keeps me grounded in the character's reality and not my own. I still do bring aspects of myself to each role, though.

What role do you think the entertainment industry should play when it comes to social causes and activism?

Black representation is extremely important. The same goes for Latin and Indian too. I'm a mix of all, so I love to see our cultures represented accurately. We can teach so much by practicing accurate representation of all the beautiful cultures of the world. Media has a huge impact on our lives. I remember as a kid, I would feel disappointed that most of my favorite movies never had people like me even involved. I'd watch historical flicks and be like...did we even exist? Which was really harsh to take as a kid. Growing older and doing my own research, I realize not only did we exist and take part, but we were pretty damn magnificent too—in all shapes and walks of life. I'd like to see more of that, and I think we are getting that now. Long may it continue.

If you could switch lives with any person for one week (real or fictional, living or dead), who would you choose?

I love the life I live, so I'm not sure I'd switch with a real-life person. If I had to, maybe one of my idols like Bruce Lee, Sam Cooke, or Bob Marley. Fictional—now that's where it's at. I would probably be Jon Snow, Goku, or Neo.

What’s the funniest photo on your camera roll?

My funniest photo…I don't think I have to say anything on this one, lol. My 30th birthday, and I just took out my braids. If they ever remake Street Fighter, I want dibs on Blanka, lol!

What do you do when you want to feel excellent (e.g., play a certain song, put on lucky socks, etc.)?

Music is everything to me. If I wanna feel great, meditation and music do the trick. Also, nature has a way of making me feel amazing. The little things in life are so powerful and replenishing. Like love, for example, laughter, friendships—they're magic.

What gives you hope?

Dreaming gives me hope. Nature gives me hope. Love is the biggest hope-giver of all. These things can ground you but also propel you to the magic places the universe has to offer. They give me life!

How do you practice self-care?

My self-care is based on self-love—taking care and being aware of your own emotions and feelings and being able to say, "Hey, I need some time for myself to look after me." Meditation, martial arts, the gym, and nature have really helped me.

Thanks for taking the time, Nick!

Photo: Michal Williams

#blackexcellence365 #entertainment spotlight #nick sagar #the princess switch

2K notes · View notes

adrinoir · 2 years ago

Text

Top 10 Favorite Miraculous Episodes

So, I wanted to do a list of my top 10 favorite episodes of Miraculous so far. I like making lists, sooo why not? :D

1. Chat Blanc

I know there’s definitely people in the fandom who stopped liking this episode a whole lot and considering it the best. But, I still do!

I’ve watched it probably 10 times at this point and I’ve cried just about every time. Seeing Adrien cry after the break up, breakdown in front of Ladybug and Hawk Moth, and yell at Ladybug about how she doesn’t love him anymore is just heartbreaking. I can’t not feel upset seeing Adrien this upset.

It’s such an emotionally heavy episode. Marinette and Adrien finally kiss (on the lips!!) and get together. Gabriel ruthlessly ends that relationship. Adrien learns his father is Hawk Moth and gets manipulated so, so badly. It’s such a well done plot, and the fact that it’s still impacting Marinette and affecting how she treats Cat Noir is insane. The fact that Cat Noir ended the world with his sadness is insane.

Minor detail, but it also was the start of the “Little Kitty on a Roof” song. A song that became a cute, comforting song for Adrien while he’s dealing with stress and loneliness. I lost it when it popped up again in Felix.

2. Wishmaker

If you’ve followed me for a while, you know I’ve written about this episode so many times. Well here we go again!

It’s so underrated. I was in the midst of working a god awful job when this episode came out, and I never related to any Miraculous episode so deeply. Ever.

It talks so much about being passionate about your work and why it’s important to a lot of people that their work is meaningful for them. We get Andre’s full backstory on him hating his office job and finding his passion for ice cream and bringing people together. I love it, I love it, I love it.

Also, learning Adrien has been controlled his entire life by his parents was just as sad as everything he endured in Chat Blanc. It was already suspicious that he didn’t have a childhood dream, but still the biggest shock ever when he turned into himself when he got hit by Wishmaker. I couldn’t stop crying after I first watched that scene.

3. Glaciator

This episode is just…a classic. I feel it sums up the entire love square concept in one episode. They don’t know each other’s identities and end up ditching each other for each other because they love each other’s other identities. It’s an episode that both made the fandom love them but also get so irritated.

Cat Noir hopping onto Marinette’s balcony, opening up to her, and taking her to his romantic rooftop picnic without even thinking twice is incredibly wholesome. It really put a big spotlight on Adrien as a person.

It’s also what made me and a lot of the fandom absolutely love the Marichat ship. It was so unexpected that Cat Noir would choose to spend time and have a heart-to-heart with Marinette. They were already cute in Evillustrator, but this was 10x cuter.

4. Risk

This episode had me gasping so much. Risk’s power hit Marinette and Adrien the hardest since they’ve got so much going on in their personal lives. They really did things I was not expecting.

I - and many other fans - already know Adrien is in love with Marinette. But, the fact that a big risk for him is holding her hand and opening up to her about how unhappy he is being a model and being trapped was insane. Marinette reassuring him she understands and seeing him so genuinely happy after she told him that was so, so adorable.

I also loved seeing Adrien finally starting to stand up to his father, and yelling to himself about how he just wants to be his son. He also told off Lila again - no risk involved. Like, yes, Adrien. Simply yes.

Oh and then my favorite gremlin, Felix, makes a grand comeback and is actually kinda looking out for Adrien (despite there being some personal gain involved). And I still can’t believe he’s the first person other than Nathalie to know about Emilie being kept in the basement.

5. The Dark Owl

This episode is just so funny and clever. I can’t even count on hand how many times I’ve watched it. Plus, me and my best friend quote this one the most. That is why I’m ranking it so high up!

Mr. Owl is so ridiculous and I love how he relentlessly tries to be a hero. It’s actually easy to sympathize for him since it’s something he’s wanted to do ever since he was little. I also love how many times Ladybug and Cat Noir kept having to try and stop him. Nothing will ever beat Cardboard Girl.

Dark Owl was also so clever in how he projected a fake scene of dropping a bus onto a kitten, humiliating Ladybug and Cat Noir. And, also in how he captured them in whipped cream. Like, no one else would think of something like that!

Also his akumatized object wasn’t even near him, it was in his office! The fact that Ladybug had to fly all the way to his office was crazy, and she was ridiculously close to getting her miraculous pulled off.

Not just props to Dark Owl, I enjoyed how clever Ladybug and Cat Noir were too! That plan of closing their eyes to feed their kwamis (the scene when Plagg and Tikki learned about the love square!!) and then giving Hawk Moth the fake miraculous Ladybug had used in her Cardboard Girl situation was very clever.

6. Strikeback

What a beautiful season finale. Oh my goodness.

There was so much angst in this episode. Ladybug and Cat Noir fought. Ladybug had another flashback of Chat Blanc.

Also, Felix landing the opportunity of getting a miraculous - the one that obtains other objects like a pokeball- was fantastic. His hero design was wonderful, and he knew exactly how to get what he wanted, thanks to getting that miraculous.

I loved the two ending scenes: Adrien comforting Ladybug and keeping her safe during her anxiety attack, and Ladybug and Cat Noir hugging. It’s not because I want to see Marinette upset and crying, but because it’s such good representation of anxiety, and having the person she loves comfort her both in and out of costume is incredible.

7. Stormy Weather

This is the very first episode of Miraculous I ever watched. God bless.

Not only is it nostalgic for me, but it’s a genuinely good episode! Ladybug and Cat Noir worked so well together in this episode. Cat Noir had his awesome night vision and that cataclysm run he did. Ladybug had a very, very clever idea for the lucky charm.

I also love the scene when Cat Noir first interacts with Stormy Weather. He keeps making jokes and puns simply to irritate her. So incredibly on brand for him.

8. Glaciator 2

I loved the first, I love the second. I was so sure the romance was gonna be gone for good in the Marichat ship after Weredad. Nope. This episode ignited it again.

Marinette practicing her confession on her crush who she doesn’t realize is her crush is hysterical. Even funnier than the first Glaciator episode. And the fact that Cat Noir laughed at it, and Kagami was the one who egged her to do it all based on a manga made it even better.

But, the cutest parts were definitely them going on a movie date and then Cat Noir leaving the fight to rehearse with Marinette again, definitely falling for her after hearing the unscripted version of her confession. I like how close they became in this episode. They instinctively act like friends because they know each other and see each other regularly but obviously can’t reveal that to each other.

9. Oblivio

I live for this because it’s direct proof of how much Marinette and Adrien love each other. They had their memories wiped and they very quickly came to the conclusion that they’re dating. Adrien admitted, “No wonder I fell in love with you.” They kissed.

I’m such a sucker for romance and this episode fills that void for me. It is so nice seeing the love square come together and they toyed with us in this episode with that.

I also thought it was so cool seeing the an akumatized victim form out of two people. It reminded me of a Steven Universe fusion. The crazy thing is that I was able to figure out it was Alya and Nino just based on the voice. You can hear two completely different voices if you pay very close attention.

10. Stone Heart Origins

Cheating a little and combining the two-parter into one lol.

This is the start of it all. The beginning of our OTP. The immaculate umbrella scene.

I will always find it funny how Marinette originally thought Adrien was some stupid bully who had the audacity to put chewing gum on her seat, and also how badly she didn’t want to become Ladybug. Then, in such a short span of time later, she tells off Hawk Moth, decides to keep saving Paris, and falls in love with Adrien after he apologizes.

What’s also funny but also really sad is that Adrien’s rebellious move was running off to school. He felt so alone and trapped that he felt going to the public high school would be his ticket out. Luckily, Gabriel finally ended up letting him attend, but his even bigger escape became his 2nd life as Cat Noir. He wanted to escape so bad, he didn’t even let Plagg finish telling him what he should be doing.

Honorable Mention: Rocketear

This episode - like Wishmaker - is also very underrated.

I cannot begin to tell you how many times I gasped watching this episode when it first premiered. I was floored when Nino revealed his and Alya’s hero identities to Adrien and shit talked Cat Noir to Adrien (unknowingly to Cat Noir’s face!!) It felt very out of character for Nino and I never expected their friendship to get jeopardized like that.

Nino getting akumatized was also devastating for Adrien and they did an excellent job at making that obvious. His tone of voice, his sad facial expressions, and him giving up his baton were all very telling that he absolutely did not want to fight his best friend. He cares a lot about Nino and it shows. Adrien was so hurt after everything that happened.

Aside from the emotion, it was pretty hilarious seeing Nino get jealous over a fake situation: Cat Noir and Alya being in love. The detective act was great, so was Cat Noir thinking he’s too charming which caused Alya to possibly crush on him.

Plot and characters aside, Zeno Robinson really shined in this episode. I wasn’t used to the change in Nino’s VA just yet, but he did a fantastic job in this episode. Bryce Papenbrook also did an amazing job putting a lot of emotion into Adrien’s voice, making him sound incredibly stressed and saddened.

65 notes · View notes

no-reply95 · 3 years ago

Text

I was scrolling through the Beatles topic on Twitter the other day and came across a tweet from Mark Lewisohn referring to a talk he’d given to the Fab4cast podcast on the Get Back sessions and Spring period of 1969. I assumed that it was a recent talk so I gave it a listen but the talk is actually from 2019.

I tend to find Lewisohn’s podcast interviews to be very interesting. He’s obviously got decades worth of Beatle knowledge stored up so you’re almost guaranteed to learn something new or hear an anecdote that you’ve never heard before but more than the factoids he’s accumulated over the years I find his interpretations of the band extremely telling.

The part of the conversation that really caught my attention was when the podcast hosts brought up the fact that John and Paul’s weddings were really close together and wondered if the two events were connected in any way, I don’t think it’s an exaggeration to say that this probably got the biggest reaction out of Lewisohn, the main points of the exchange are outlined below (time stamp 47:12)

Host: “Well also in this period there are two events, the marriages of John and Paul, within 8 days of each other… I read that John wanted to marry on the 14th, two days after Paul’s wedding but couldn’t do it because of legal issues, how much was his [marriage] a response to Paul’s marriage do you think?”

Lewisohn: “I’ve read that people say that it was but never heard John say that it was so there’s no validity to those claims they’re just people assuming that John didn’t want to be outdone by Paul… that’s the kind of writing that annoys me because it becomes part of the fact and it’s some writer thinking that’s what it probably was… Unless someone out there can find a Lennon quote in which he actually says it in which case I stand corrected and I’ll be very happy to do so”

There’s a lot going on in these quotes so I’m gonna break down my thoughts on this further:

The illusion of John’s honesty

What Lewisohn displays here is something I believe is pretty common within the Beatles’ authorship. I believe in Revolution In The Head Ian McDonald referred to John as “truth” and Paul as “beauty” and I think a lot of writers do tend to assign those attributes consistently to John and Paul. Reading (or listening) to the Lennon Remembers interview now, it’s hard to believe at one stage people took what John was saying as fact and never even questioned whether there were emotions or agenda behind what he was saying, despite the contradictions (“Me and Paul stopped writing together in 1962” vs “Me and Paul worked really closely together on Sgt. Pepper”) and because John was so charismatic and would speak openly in interviews and to people he knew about both the good and bad in his life I think people, and in this case Lewisohn, assume that John told us everything of note that happened in his life, which I don’t think is a realistic expectation of anyone, let alone someone as famous as John. I think it’s problematic to take John’s or anyone else’s words, especially when they’re said in public, as the gospel truth because everyone has an agenda and John was no different. I also think it’s unrealistic to believe that John would ever announce that the reason he and Yoko got married when they did was in any way connected to Paul, that would have sullied the sanctity of “John and Yoko TM”, I mean, how can you be the greatest love story ever if the reason you decided to get married was because your musical partner who you may have unresolved romantic feelings for got married? I don’t think John would publicly embarrass Yoko like that or risk undermining the strength of the brand he was trying to create with his new relationship by admitting that Paul’s marriage spurred them on. That Lewisohn is apparently holding out for a lost interview of John stating that Paul was involved in the timing of his marriage to Yoko just sounds pretty far fetched to me.

The timing of John’s wedding in relation to his and Yoko’s divorces

As discussed in this podcast, Paul and Linda got married (pretty unexpectedly I believe) on 12 March 1969 and John and Yoko got married 8 days later (and apparently they wanted it to be sooner) on 20 March 1969. Aside from the extremely close proximity of John and Paul’s weddings it should be noted that John’s divorce from Cynthia was finalised in November 1968 and Yoko’s from Tony Cox was finalised in January 1969.

So why am I bringing up John and Yoko’s divorces? Because it meant that they were free to marry each other from January 1969, there was no longer a legal issue preventing them and if John’s bursting out in song about it, you would assume that they would have started planning their wedding ASAP… but curiously they didn’t. How do we know John and Yoko weren’t planning a wedding before Paul married Linda? Because once Paul was married John and Yoko started scrambling to get married ASAP, suddenly there was a rush and need to be married that hadn’t existed before, John suddenly wanted to marry Yoko on a ferry but they couldn’t be married there, then John wanted to marry Yoko in Paris but they needed to be resident in Paris for a period of time before they could get married there so eventually they settled on Gibraltar as they could get married there at short notice. Clearly there was a sudden need for John and Yoko to get married that didn’t materialise until around March 1969, am I and countless other people (including Paul himself) crazy for assuming that Paul’s wedding impacted John’s sudden desperate need to be married? If it wasn’t Paul’s wedding, what was it?

Authorial interpretation and assumptions

I’m really fascinated by the visceral reaction Lewisohn had to just the suggestion that the timing of John and Yoko’s wedding was connected to Paul and Linda’s. For Lewisohn to state it annoys him was pretty shocking to me because, given what is publicly known about this period and the lack of any other logical reason for John and Yoko’s wedding to be so close to Paul’s and Linda’s, I don’t think it’s bad writing to point out the proximity and suggest that the timing was more than a coincidence.

Based on his reaction, you would assume that Lewisohn would be set against any form of interpretation where the principal in question hadn’t confirmed that the interpretation was in fact correct but that would be an incorrect assumption to make. Some of you may be aware of the Hornsey Road shows Mark Lewisohn was giving in 2019 around the 50th anniversary of Abbey Road. During these shows Lewisohn played a clip from the, now infamous, 4-4-4-2 meeting tape and gave a presentation on the Abbey Road period in the Beatles’ history. One of the points Lewisohn raised during the show was that during the sessions, after the car accident in Scotland, a bed was brought into the studio for Yoko so she (and sometimes John) could rest while work on the album progressed. According to Lewisohn, one morning they turned up to the studio and someone had removed one of the legs from the bed, leaving it with 3 legs *dramatic pause* which was him heavily hinting that he thought Paul broke Yoko’s bed on purpose and then bragged about it on the Ram album by including a song called 3 legs, I’m not going to go into the validity (or lack thereof) of this claim but I find it very interesting that Lewisohn was annoyed about authors suggesting that the timing of John and Yoko’s wedding was connected to Paul and Linda’s but he seems happy to publicly speculate that Paul was sabotaging Yoko’s bed in the studio based on the title of a song that he would release on Ram two years later and nothing else.

Is there any evidence that connects John’s wedding to Paul’s?

I’ve already outlined the suspiciousness of John and Yoko choosing to get married right after Paul, when they had been free to marry for weeks prior but is there any other evidence that either proves that the weddings were connected or is Lewisohn right to deem that suggestion as lacking in validity?

Interestingly there actually is unverified eyewitness testimony that does connect John and Paul’s weddings (something not mentioned by Lewisohn in this podcast). I believe there’s an anecdote from Les Anthony (John’s chauffeur at the time) about him driving John and Yoko around when news of Paul’s wedding suddenly came across the radio, to which John apparently said to Yoko that “we have to get married now”… I couldn’t track down the exact source for that story (if anyone knows the source please let me know) so I’m not sure how credible that anecdote is but, assuming it is accurate, then that would suggest a correlation between John and Paul’s weddings that Lewisohn is adamant doesn’t exist.

Why does this matter?

I do think that this podcast interview could be indicative of a few future concerns I personally have around the way the Beatles discourse will progress in the future. Firstly, this was only a podcast interview so it’s unlikely that when Lewisohn releases the final book in his trilogy that he’ll discuss the weddings in this manner (I.e. although he’s adamant the timing of John’s wedding had nothing to with Paul he failed to offer any sort of explanation regarding why John and Yoko were rushing to get married when they’d had weeks to prepare a wedding).

It’s a slight worry that Lewisohn seems to believe that John announced every single thing that happened in his life of note, especially concerning Paul and Yoko. If John had told us everything of interest about him, surely his Dakota diaries would be the basis of a Netflix series by now and not locked away in a vault (assuming they haven’t already been destroyed). To me, like several authors before him, Lewisohn seems to be mistaking John’s emotional honesty with factual honesty. It didn’t escape my attention that several clips of the Lennon Remembers interview were inserted into this podcast and Lewisohn quotes extensively from it in Tune In as well. There’s nothing wrong with using Lennon Remembers as a source but if you do use it you should be analysing the veracity of what was said as we know that John was in a torched earth mentality at that time and even he himself has said what he said in that interview wasn’t meant as a timeless manifesto. It’s a shame that given his ability of analyse sources Lewisohn has never (to my knowledge) critically analysed Lennon Remembers, given that other sources have been analysed this makes LR a strange omission.

Finally, Lewisohn does tend to make some good insights and does have the ability to read between the lines (I.e. him noting Paul’s tendency to say “we” when in most cases he means himself) but with John I do think he has a bit of a blindspot. Why Lewisohn is happy to speculate without evidence in some cases (3 legs) but he draws the line at the suggestion that John and Paul’s weddings being connected is anyone’s guess. If Lewisohn can turn his attention to reading between the lines with John and the other Beatles too and connecting the dots then we should get a Beatles biography that finally addresses a lot of the issues we cover on this site. However, if we take the approach of only using John and Yoko’s PR to understand the events that transpired before and after the band broke up then the story hasn’t moved much further than 1970 and given all that we know now I think that would be a huge shame.

#the beatles #john lennon #paul mccartney #john and paul #mark lewisohn #paul and linda #john and yoko #double wedding #beatles podcasts #given Lewisohn’:s status it’s crucial he doesn’t just dismiss things he doesn’t like as invalid #interpretation is fine as long as it’s correct #i have other podcast thoughts on a separate show #thoughts #long post

132 notes · View notes

thismaydestroyme · 3 years ago

Text

Little Did I Know

Summary: In this short story Harry is famous, and he moved into a town during the summer to relax and potentially write some new songs for his upcoming album. I’m not sure if I’ll include some song lyrics, but if I do, I will take a piece of a lyric from a different song and pretend it’s his.

Word Count: 2,272

“Sweetie, can you walk Cosmo?” Y/N hears her mom shouting from downstairs.

“Yes, mom!” She says.

Y/N is on her bed with her headphones on due to having a neighbor who’s living across her street who just moved in. For the past weeks there’s been a lot of moving trunks and ruckus because there’s a musician living among them.

Y/N is a 21 year old girl who wants to be part of the music industry, but she doesn’t know shit. All she knows is that she loves music, and music is part of her. It was her dad that introduced her to music, like music that was before her time. Like Billie Holiday, Frank Sintra, The Rolling Stone, Queen, Otis Redding, Nirvana, The Knack, Elton John, The Doors, The Clash and so many more. That’s all she knew and all she wanted was to find a way to have that without having to know how to play the instruments, knowing how to sing. She simply just wants to go wherever the music takes her.

She finally drags herself out of bed and starts putting on her sneaker and throwing on an oversized hoodie. She swaps her earbuds to her airpods and off to walk her dog.

She walks down the stairs heavily which alerts her mother, and before she gets to the last step her mother hands her Cosmo’s leash.

“Ugh. Couldn't you do - sorry mom.” She reaches for the leash that’s in her mom’s hand.

“Yeah, that’s what I thought, darling.” She says giving her daughter a peck on her left cheek.

Y/N bends over to put the leash on Cosmo’s neck, which Cosmo gives her a lick on her face. Y/N loves this dog of hers. He provides her safety and security, which she needs because let’s just say she has a breakdown every couple of days.

Y/N stands back up and gives Cosmo a nice tug so he knows he’s ready for his next adventure. By adventure it means walking around the block she’s been doing for the past three years since Y/N got him.

It’s around 3 o’clock which means the summer heat is hitting hard right about now. But it’s too hot to harm Cosmo in any way. Cosmo is the love of Y/N life.

Cosmo and Y/N went on their typical route which they go past their new neighbor's house. Y/N realizes the new neighbor door is a jar, and she can smell bacon, which isn’t good for Cosmo because he’ll tend to escape and run towards the delicious smell he knows so much about. To Y/N not so surprise Cosmo started tugging on his leash that has Y/N being yanked and pulled.

“Cosmo. Stop it right now!” Y/N shouts to Cosmo which she knows that wouldn’t help a damn thing. When he has something in mind there’s no stopping him. Cosmo has to be on something because it’s like he’s on some x game mode. Y/N starts tripping on her own feet and losing her own balance.

They were running in the middle of streets when they received some honks and screams at fellow drivers on the road. Which Y/N give them a nice finger and simple “fuck off.” Y/N let’s go Cosmo leash because she isn’t in the mood to eat shit, so when she felt safe nothing could happen to Cosmo she let him go.

Cosmo went straight towards the slight jar front door, which I had to pick up my steps. Before Y/N could even be on the same street as the house, the new neighbor came out his house, holding Cosmo’s leash quite aggressively which had Y/N switch her mode to attack mode.

“Hey, what the fuck? you didn’t have to pull him like that?” Y/N says aggressively while walking towards the house, when she gets in a hand reach, she pulls the leash so the neighbor doesn’t have his grubby hand on the leash.

Oh you want to know Y/N neighbor? It happily to be Harry Styles. Forgot to include that in, sorry.

“Are you getting mad at me? your dog happened to be in my house without any guardian. Your dog jumped on my couch, which I’m not too fond of. So anyone here who should be a little bit bitchy, it should be me.” Harry says hostile. He’s wearing a wife beater shirt that has his arms tattoos on display. For his lower part he’s wearing a nice black booty short which shows off that magnificent tiger tattoo. “Are you just going to stand there?” He snaps back.

Y/N brought her eyes back to him which Y/N doesn’t approve of his tone. Y/N scuffs and rolls her eyes to the back of her head. “Sorry for your inconvenience. Enjoy the rest of your day.” Y/N plants a fake smile on her face. “C’mon Cosmo, let’s go, but this time I'm walking you.“ Y/N whispers to Cosmo while turning around to continue their walk with a small intermission they encountered. After a couple of steps Y/N turned her head around and when she did Harry was still standing there with annoyance on his face, which Y/N turned her head back around.

“He’s going to be fun.”

***

It took Y/N twenty minutes to walk her dog today. She wanted Cosmo to enjoy himself which he did because he saw a lot of squirrels today, and on top of that she didn’t want to ‘run’ into Harry again. Y/N should be excited to have a big celebrity living among them, and hopefully she could get reinspired about her future, but unfortunately that isn’t the case. Probably Harry is just having a bad day, and last year and the beginning of this year he had a lot of things going on. He’s officially a grammy winner, he filmed two movies, his latest album Fine Line has been doing phenomenally well, he was the first male to have appeared solo on Vogue magazine, he was announced Hitmaker of the year, and so many more. So maybe he just needed to get his energy back, which Y/N understood. But man, it really had to be their first impression.

When Y/N and Cosmo took a turn to walk to their front door, Y/N couldn’t help but to look across the street to see if Harry was there or not. Surprisingly he was, and he’s looking right at her. Y/N looked at his lips while he blew out a smoke. Fuck, he smokes?!

Y/N doesn’t understand why he’s looking at her, but she doesn’t give a shit because the way he’s looking at her was his way of trying to figure her out. Whatever that fucking means.

She broke eye contact and flipped her head around to her front door. She starts digging her hand in her pocket to fetch her keys out. Cosmo starts barking because the keys jiggles so he thought it was a new toy. “Oh you hash it.” She got the keys and shove it in the lock. Thank god, her mother didn’t lock the top of the door.

The door finally releases and Cosmo immediately runs through, probably heading to his water bowl. “Thanks sweetie for walking Cosmo for me.” Y/N hears her mom in the kitchen probably smothering Cosmo. “Yep. I would say anytime, but I would be lying.” She says while walking up the stairs to head to her room. “Fuck off.” Her mother giggles. “I love you too.” That was the last thing Y/N said before she shut her door.

Y/N takes off her beat up vans and soon after plops on her unmade bed. Y/N stared at the few holes on the ceiling due to having a young Leonardo DiCaprio poster on her ceiling when she was younger. Young Leo hits different.

Y/N couldn’t help it, but her brain went back to her small and rough interaction with Harry. She wished she met him on a better note, but fuck it. But how could she move on from him? She’s a fan of his music and his viewpoint on the world. He’s a man of few word, but when he does talk, it’s fucking loud and impactful. He’s the main reason she took a few steps back off of social media. She’s barely on it, but when she does go on it, she isn’t on there for long like she used to.

An hour went by and her mother started knocking on her door and then she came in. “You know mother, the purpose of knocking is to see if you're welcome to enter the space.” Y/N says nonchalantly sitting up to see her mother, but at the same time trying to hold in her laugh.

“Well, if you want to contribute to paying the bills, I’ll happily reconsider waiting to be called on.” Her mother threw back. “Nope. You’re good.” Y/N says shaking her head.

“Mmmmhh. Well, I’m going to hang out with the girls from work. Do you want me to make you something before I go?” That’s one thing Y/N loves about her mother, she is so selfless and she always makes sure I’m good before she wants to do something for herself.

“I’m good. Enjoy your night.” Y/N gave her mom a smile to know she’ll be alright. “If you’re sure, then I’m off,” Her mom says all happily. “If you need anything just text me. Okay?”

“Okay,” Y/N got up to give her mom a nice, strong hug. “love you.” Y/N whispers. “Love you more beautiful.” We pull back and she’s off to the race.

Y/N walks to her window to pull the blind. She sometimes likes looking out her window and just stares off into space. Something about watching people live their life comforts her. She loves people watching.

Y/N found herself mumbling some words, while people watching, but she couldn’t help but stop her little rampage. Y/N feels heavy and she’s unable to even grasp the concept, so when she starts feeling that way she tends to start saying random things. It could be something she could use in the future. To make sure she doesn’t forget she whip out her phone to go to the notes app where she has a folder filled with random words and sentences. There are things in there that could potentially be useful like, “More or less a painful experience. Only ever real if you're delirious. the summer before you,” “I think you're gonna be my biggest fan.” So on and so forth. That’s what the folder is filled with fragments and potentially some song lyrics.

Y/N tossed her phone to her bed, and left her phone to bother Cosmo downstairs. Y/N loves that sucker. Before Y/N could even smother him with love, he’s currently sleeping on his bed in the corner of the living room.

Fucking great.

Y/N just wanted something to do, and her damn dog couldn’t give her that. She looks at the clock on the wall in the living room and it’s currently 6 almost to be seven. Y/N could go upstairs and ask one of her friends to hangout, but she doesn’t want that. The best alternative could be taking a walk and seeing where her feet take her. She likes that option better, so she quietly went upstairs so she doesn’t wake up Cosmo.

Y/N changes her attire to ripped oversized mom jeans, an oversized graphic tee she bought on Depop and once again her infamous black and white vans. She grabs her airpods, and her keys. She’s finally ready for the evening.

Y/N went back downstairs to check on Cosmo and make sure he has food and water ready for him just in case he wakes up while she’s still gone. When she felt everything was in order she ended straight to the door.

The weather feels astronomically better than before which had Y/N feel much better with her decision. Y/N isn’t sure if she should take the right or left. If she decides on taking a right she’ll pass Harry’s house, but if she does decide to take a left she wouldn’t. Y/N starts going back and forth, but she decides on going left.

There was a nice breeze in the summer air, and she’s listening to “I’m a Slave 4 U” by the one and only Britney fucking Spears. “What's practical is logical. What the hell who cares. All I know is I'm so happy. When you're dancing there. I'm a slave 4 U.” Y/N finds herself singing to herself. She’s been walking around aimlessly and rocking out to her songs for about thirty minutes. She’s aware she’s probably creating attention to herself, but she couldn’t find herself to care. Y/N is enjoying herself.

“I’m a SLAVE FOR YOU!” Y/N shouts out with her eyes pinch shut, when she finally opens them she finds herself in front of Harry’s house. The worst part wasn't that she was walking in a circle. It wasn’t that she belted out to her songs. It wasn’t she was flinging her body around like she was the balloon thingy at the cars dealership shop. Nope. None of those.

The worst fucking part is, Harry Fucking Styles is currently outside watching her. Fucking watching her. Once again fucking smoking. Again.

#harry styles #harry styles y/n #harry styles imagine #harry styles fanfiction #hs smut #harry styles smut

152 notes · View notes

hyperion-moonbabe-art3mis · 4 years ago

Text

Big Break

Request: Can I request a Luke x reader with like 1995 Luke and Y/N where reader has a concert and invites her friends and boyfriend (not Luke as BF yet 😪😂) and she’s really nervous and looks for her boyfriend before hand but doesn’t see him and learns he didn’t want to come so Luke (who is her BFF and completely in love with her and her him) supports her and calms her down and after the concert she breaks up with her boy and dates Luke ~ @im-a-writer-right

Word Count: 3.5k

P.S. Sorry for the fic spam today. My TVD and 100 fics were scheduled for today. and I just really wanted to get this one out.

Tonight is the biggest night of your life. You booked a gig that could give you your big break. You were opening up for one of your friend’s band, Twisted Island, who has a contract with one of the biggest record labels, Sub Pop Records. You were so nervous you practically didn’t sleep the night before. Luckily, one of your friends gave you some melatonin to make you practically pass out.

You look to your computer to find a message on AOL from your boyfriend, Tyler.

Tyler: Morning

You: Morning

Tyler: Meet @ Moonshine Cafe in1 hr. I want to spend time with you before work

You: Ok, love. See you soon

Tyler: See you soon <3

Your boyfriend wasn’t only one of your oldest friends from LA but also an emerging music artist. He was the one who helped you land the gig, on top of your friends who you were opening for. He knew some other big record labels and invited them to your show. In case you didn’t land a deal with Sub Pop Records you had the other labels you could possibly sign with.

You get up to shower and get ready to meet your boyfriend. You hop in your car and head to the cafe. Not long after your boyfriend arrived. You gave him a big kiss and head to get seated. Of course, Tyler pulled some strings so you two could be seated at their private table.

“These are for you, for good luck,” Tyler says and hands you some flowers.

“Awe, thank you,” You smile.

“I’m sorry I can’t help you prep more for tonight. I just can’t miss out on this collaboration with Madonna,” Tyler says.

“It’s ok. It’s an amazing opportunity, I’m excited for you. But you can make it for soundcheck right? It’s at five and I got you a backstage pass,” You say pulling out a lanyard.

“Yes. We should be done between 3:30-4,” Tyler says taking the pass from your hands.

“So how many songs are you gonna record with Madonna?” You ask.

“Not sure. Today we’re just writing some. I’m hoping for at least two or three,” Tyler says.

“Well, no matter how many you write together. I bet they’re going to be amazing. I can’t wait to hear them,” You say as your food arrives. The two of you spend the rest of the time talking about his collab and your gig before you receive a call.

Luke: Y/N I just woke up. The guys and I are gonna meet at the garage soon.

You: I’ll meet you guys there in 30.

“Who was that?” Tyler asks

“My friend in Sunset Curve, Luke. The guys told me they’d help me prep for tonight so I gotta go soon,” You tell Tyler.

“Those guys are great. I have to go soon too anyways. I need to be at the studio in like an hour. But I wanted to get there a bit early,” Tyler says.

“You always like to please people,” You laugh.

“You know me too well,” Tyler laughs as a waiter brings boxes over. You pack your leftovers in the box as Tyler pays.

“Thanks again for breakfast,” You say.

“You’re welcome. The best way to start off the day. I’ll see you later tonight,” Tyler says.

“See you tonight. 5 O’clock at The Los Angeles Theatre, don’t forget,” You say.

“I promise, I won’t,” Tyler says and kisses you goodbye.

You get into your car and head to the Sunset Curve garage. Once you made your way into the garage you find that only Alex and Reggie were there.

“Hey guys,” You say.

“Hey,” The boys say in almost unison.

“Where’s Luke and Bobby?” You question.

“Bobby is supposed to pick Luke up. He probably slept in,” Alex says.

“I thought Bobby was the punctual and responsible one?” You ask.

“Who says we’re not responsible?” Reggie asks, clearly feeling hurt.

“Me, but you guys did have that gig last night right? How’d that go?” You ask.

“It was great. Reggie even--” Alex starts before he gets slapped in the chest by Reggie.

You raise your eyebrow, “Reggie even what?” You question.

“Dude, just tell her. She’s not gonna give up, you know that,” Alex says.

“I may have had a special night with this girl,” Reggie says quietly.

“Oh yeah? Is this someone you’re gonna see again? Or more like a one-time thing?” You ask.

“I-I don’t know,” Regie says.

“Either way I’m happy for you,” You say. You then hear the doors open and turn to find Luke and Bobby walk in.

“There’s our big shot!” Luke yells before tackling you with a hug.

“Not quite yet. I still gotta play tonight,” You say pulling away.

“Either way. My best friend is getting her big break AKA our big shot,” Luke says.

“What about us?” Reggie asks furrowing his eyebrows.

“We’ll get our shot, but today is about Y/N,” Luke says.

“Aw shucks,” You chuckle. “So I’m playing like five songs and if I’m being completely honest...I haven’t picked them out yet,” You say.

“Well I know ‘Rose’ and ‘Shadows’ are two of my favs,” Luke says.

“‘Constellations’ is also a great one,” Alex adds.

“Those three are at the top of my list,” You say and pull out your music journal.

“What about the song you and Luke wrote together?” Bobby asks.

“‘Red Hearts’? That’s a duet song. I can’t really play that one,” You say.

“Y/N’s right. It’s meant to be sung by two people,” Luke smiles at you.

“I think ‘Bracing for impact’ and ‘Devil’, will fit in with the others then,” Bobby suggests.

“Yeh, but I haven’t played ‘Devil’ more than twice and one of those times was in front of you guys,” You say.

“You are an amazing artist, Y/N,” Luke grasps your arms. “You barely need any practice. Remember when I threw you on stage with us to sing one of our songs?” Luke says.

“That doesn’t count, Luke. I watch you guys practice all the time,” You point out.

“But you memorized the lyrics,” Alex says.

“Ok...I guess that was impressive. Fine, I’ll do these five. Thanks, guys,” You say.

“Great! I can’t wait to hear them,” Luke says as the other nod in agreement.

“Oh! Also, I pulled some strings and got you all backstage and sound check passes,” You say pulling four lanyards out.

“Backstage passes to the Los Angeles Theatre?!?” Reggie exclaims taking all four passes from your hand.

“You know the three other passes are for your bandmates right?” You ask.

“Oh. Yeah. I just can’t believe we get to go backstage at the Los Angeles Theatre,” Reggie says handing his bandmates the remaining passes.

“Soundcheck is at five,” You say.

“You know we’ll be there,” Luke says and smiles at you. You and the boys hang out as they practice.

“Y/N, who are you opening up for again?” Bobby asks.

“Really? My friend whose in Twisted Island. They’re signed with Sub Pop,” You respond.

“Seriously? How did you get this gig exactly,” Alex asks.

“Well, my friend. But Tyler also invited a couple of other labels to see my show,” You say.

“Don’t forget us when you get big,” Luke says.

“How could I? You guys are the ones who told me I should play gigs in the first place,” You say.

“You and Luke have known each other for however long. Why didn’t we invite her to sing with us again?” Reggie asks as everyone in the room gives him blank looks. “What?” He asks.

“Reggie...do you really think that an amazing singer like Y/N would ever want to join Sunset Curve?” Luke says putting his hand on Reggie’s shoulder.

“In my defense, none of you asked me,” You respond.

“So is that a yes?” Reggie asks.

“I didn’t know that was an invite,” You say.

“Ok. Hypothetically if we offered...would you like to join?” Reggie asks.

“Uhh...we didn’t have a band meeting about this,” Bobby adds.

“It’s a hypothetical question, but I know I wouldn’t mind,” Luke says.

“I mean she’d be a great addition,” Alex says.

“And she can play a mean guitar. But she might steal your lead singer role, Luke,” Bobby says.

“Why do I feel like I’m being interrogated?” You ask.

“Just answer the question,” Reggie says.

“Ok, ok. Let’s say you offered me today. My answer is, let’s see how tonight goes,” You respond as the boys seem pleased with your answer. “Speaking of tonight, it’s like 3. I need to get ready and then head to the theatre,” You say and get up.

“Alright we’ll see you there,” Luke says as you hug each of the boys.

“5 O’clock. Don’t be late,” You say walking out of the garage.

“We won’t!” Reggie yells.

You head back to your apartment and get ready to head to the Los Angeles theatre. You grabbed your guitar and your accessories and head to the theatre. Once you got there you already heard Twisted Island doing their soundcheck.

“There she is,” Adam, your friend, says as you walk in.

“Hey,” You say setting your stuff down.

“Ready for tonight?” He asks.

“I don’t know if I’ll ever be, but I don’t have any choice,” You respond hugging him.

“You’ll do great. You remember Jessie, Shawn, and my brother Mike,” Adam says pointing to the respective band members.

“Yeh, I’m Y/N Y/L/N,” You awkwardly say.

“We’re almost done with our soundcheck. Miles, there, will show you to your dressing room,” Adam says pointing to the man with a headset on.

“Thanks,” You smile as you’re lead to your room. You make your way in and set your stuff down. You first make a call to Tyler, but no answer. A few minutes later you hear a knock at your door.

“You’re up for soundcheck,” Miles says. You grab your guitar and other things and head to the stage. As you were setting up you see the Sunset Curve boys walk in. You stop and go to greet them.

“Hey, guys. I was just setting up,” You say as you hug them.

“This is amazing!” Reggie says excitedly as the others look around in awe.

“This is Adam the lead singer and guitarist in Twisted Island,” You say noticing him and his bandmates walk up. They introduce each other.

“Hey, where’s Tyler?” Luke asks.

“I don’t know. I told him to be here at 5 for soundcheck. I called him but he didn’t pick up. I’m sure his meeting with Madonna is going late,” You say before heading to finish setting up. You play the five songs out while the two band watch. Tyler still hadn’t shown up.

As you finish your soundcheck, you set your stuff down and go to your dressing room to try and call Tyler again. He didn’t pick up so you decided to leave a voicemail, “ Hey, Ty. I just finished soundcheck. The show starts in 30, hope you’ll be here before I go on,” You say before hanging up.

You hear a knock at your door, “Yes?” You say. The door opens to the four Sunset Curve boys walking in.

“That was amazing,” Luke says.

“And Twisted Island is a cool band,” Reggie adds.

“Not as cool as you,” You say half excitedly.

“You good Y/N?” Luke asks as you look at your phone.

“Yeah. Just uh, waiting for Tyler to get here and a little pre-show jitters. You know, the usual,” You say. Luke notices the sadness in your voice and looks at you with sad eyes, but you don’t notice.

“If your soundcheck sounded that good. Then your show is gonna sound twice as good,” Alex says.

“Thanks,” You say when you get another knock on your door. You open it to find Adam there.

“Hey, sorry to interrupt. I just wanted to let you know the theatre is filling and you’re going on in 15,” Adam says.

“Thanks,” You say. “Hey, guys, I’ll be right back,” You tell the boys. You follow Adam to the stage, hoping to see Tyler in the audience.

“Hey, I know you’re gonna do great, and our agent is gonna be impressed. You’ll get some offers tonight,” Adam says.

“Thanks again for this gig. It really means a lot to me,” You say while hugging Adam.

“You’re welcome. Anything for one of my oldest friends. See you in 15,” Adam says and walks away. You make your way to the edge of the wings and look out to see if you can see Tyler. Yet the reserved seat you had Adam set out was empty.

You made your way back to the dressing room and check your phone. You find a missed call from Tyler along with a voicemail. You head out of the dressing room to listen since the boys were being quite loud. “Hey, Y/N. I’m sorry I wasn’t there for soundcheck. Madonna and I just went a bit over with the writing. And then she invited me to a party. I can’t miss out on this opportunity, but I know you’ll do great tonight. Love,” The message said.

This wasn’t the first time Tyler had missed one of your gigs due to an opportunity he had himself, but this was the first time that it was just for a party. He had always supported you when you needed it, but on a big night like this, where lots of labels were looking at you, was not the night to ditch you. Especially since he personally invited a few himself, they were here but he wasn’t.

You took a few moments to take a hold of yourself before walking back into the dressing room, but as soon as you walked in you felt the mood change as all of the boy’s eyes landed on you. “You alright?” Luke asks again.

“Yeh, yeh,” You say looking at your phone.

“Hey, guys. Can I talk with Y/N alone?” Luke asks the boys and they quickly made their way out of the room.

Luke walked up to you and took your hands in his, “It’s just us now. Tell me, are you ok?” Luke asks once more.

You take a moment before responding, wishing you could lie but you knew he’d catch it, “N--no. Tyler promised he’d be here. And I was calling him to make sure he’d be here on time. But I just listened to a voicemail saying that he’s going to a party with Madonna instead,” You explain.

“You know I always thought he was a jerk right?” Luke says.

“Luke…” You sigh.

“Seriously. I don’t care what connections he has or if he really got labels to see you play tonight. He never supported you like I have, like the guys have,” Luke says.

“He has though. He’s come to my gigs before,” You say.

“Can you count the number of your gigs he’s attended on both hands? I know you’ve been to way more of his. Look, Y/N. Forget him, he never really cared for your dreams and career. If he really loves you he’d be here tonight instead of going off with Madonna,” Luke says.

“Yo--you’re right. He’s only been to three of my gigs and I’ve been the millions of his. It just makes me nervous with all these big people looking at me,” You say.

“Here,” Luke says letting go of your hands. “I’m gonna give you my bracelet. It’s my lucky bracelet. All your nerves will go away and you’ll kill it tonight. I know it,” Luke says slipping his bead bracelet on your wrist.

“You’re on in 2,” You hear someone outside of the door say. Luke kisses your forehead. You take a big sigh and head to the stage.

You wait for your cue as you see all of the people in the audience chatting away and the people from the labels scattered through the crowd. Not a moment later you’re told to make your way on stage. You walk on stage and pick up your guitar, you take a big sigh and rub your fingers across the beads on Luke’s bracelet. Once you felt calm enough and your heart started to beat a bit slower you start to strum the chords to your song “Shadows”.

Claps filled the air as you finished,” Thank you. My name is Y/N Y/L/N. That song was called Shadows, it was about me fighting my demons and getting over my stage freight. This next one is called Rose,” You say and start to play your guitar again. You play the last four songs in your set while cheers and claps filled the air.

“Thank you! My name is Y/N Y/L/N. Here is Twisted Island!” You say after you finish your set. The band members made their way onto the stage.

“Give it up for my good friend Y/N,” Adam says before you head off stage. You watched their show from backstage cheering and clapping with the audience.

As soon as the show ended you see Twisted Island’s agent walk up to you, “My name is Ashley. That was some great music. I’m glad Adam had you open for them tonight. We’ll be in touch,” She says before walking off. A few more agents had talked to you and offered you some deals or told you they’d also be in contact.

“You killed it!” Luke yells as he and the boys run up to you.

“Thanks guys,” You say with a big smile.

“Honestly I think you played better than Twisted Island,” Reggie whispers to you.

“You’re only saying that because you’re my friend,” You say.

“It’s true!” Reggie says as you head to the dressing room.

You and the boys make your way into the dressing room and you find some flowers on the table. You pick up the card and read “Heard you did a great job. Congrats -Tyler” You quickly pick the flowers out and throw them in the trash, right as the boy walked in, they all looked at you confused.

“They’re from Tyler,” You say nonchalantly. Everyone but Luke looked at you confused. The rest of the boys left, but Luke stayed behind to help you pack up.

“Thanks for the bracelet. It really helped,” You say starting to take it off.

“Keep it,” Luke says stopping you from pulling it off completely. He then goes to puck your guitar case up and the two of you head to your car. You pack your car up, drop Luke off, and head to your apartment.

~The next morning~

You wake up to hear a knock at your door. You get up and look in the peephole to find Tyler standing there.

“Hey sweetheart,” Tyler says. “What?” He asks noticing the pissed look you had plastered on your face.

“You missed the biggest night of my life. You’re lucky that a lot of labels are interested in me,” You say monotone.

“Sorry, I just couldn’t--” He starts.

“No. I sick and tired you not supporting me,” You say.

“I’ve been to your gigs,” He says.

“You’ve been to three of the 10 of my gigs. I’ve been to all of yours,” You protest.

“Ok. I’m sorry, how can I make it up to you,” Tyler says trying to step into your apartment, but you stop him.

“I think you’re letting your fame get to your head. And if you can’t support me and be there for me while dealing with your growing fame at the same time. I don’t want to be with you,” You say sternly.

“Babe,” Tyler says.

“Look. I just landed some of the best offers I could get in life and I can’t have your lack of presence distracting me. So, I’m not really sorry. But we’re done,” You say before shutting the door in Tyler’s face. You didn’t know what to do with yourself after that but you did feel like a big weight lifted from your chest.

A few minutes later someone knocked on your door, “Tyler I told---Oh. Luke,” You say realizing it was someone completely different.

“Hey,” Luke says.

“Hey,” You say quietly while letting him inside.

“You look like you had an eventful morning,” Luke points out.

“You could say that. I...uh, just broke up with Tyler,” You say.

“Really?” Luke questions as you notice his eyes light up and you nod.

The next thing you know you feel Luke’s hands cup your face and his lips against your own. He quickly pulls away, “ Sorry….I shouldn’t have done that,” Luke says quietly.

“It’s ok. Can I be honest for a second?” You ask.

“Always,” He says.

“I’ve always known you liked me. Don’t rat him out but Alex told me like a year ago,” You say.

“And I’m guessin…” Luke says rubbing the back of his head.

“That you are my best friend and I couldn’t ask for a better guy in my life,” You say before kissing him again.

“So I take it the break up really wasn’t that bad,” Luke says after pulling away.

“Better now that you’re here,” You chuckle. Luke gives you a big smile as you return the same.

A/N: I’m sorry if there are any 1995 inaccuracies. I did my research and tried my best, please don’t hurt me haha. Anyways, I loved writing this and had ideas coursing through my brain the last 2 days. Please let me know what you think and if you would maybe like a part 2, maybe? Thanks again to Ria for requesting and thanks for reading.

#julie and the phantoms #julie and the phantoms imagine #julie and the phantoms fic #jatp #jatp imagine #reggie peters #alex mercer #sunset curve #luke patterson #luke patterson imagine #luke patterson x reader #luke patterson fanfiction

169 notes · View notes

howdon-aldi-death-queue · 3 years ago

Text

NEW SAM FENDER INTERVIEW FOR NME

THE BIG READ

Sam Fender: “This album is probably the best thing I’ve done in my life”

The hometown hero has distanced himself from the ‘Geordie Springsteen’ tag, but there’s no shortage of rites-of-passage yarns and colossal tunes on the upcoming ‘Seventeen Going Under’

“You can see the ghost of Thatcherism over there…” says Sam Fender, pointing across the water to a vacant shipyard, where once the shipbuilding industry was so healthy that vessels towered higher than the rows of houses on the shore. We’re on the waterfront in North Shields, just outside Newcastle, and our photographer is snapping away for Sam’s first NME cover shoot.

The singer-songwriter stares stonily into the lens as wafts of seaweed and fishing trawlers are carried by the northern coastal breeze. He’s already been stopped for a few pictures with fans, but remains eager to point out the impact that Tory leadership has had on his working-class town over the last few decades. “It’s been closed since the ’80s, from the ghost wasteland of the shipyards. You’ve got all the scars of Thatcherism from The Tyne all over to the pit villages in Durham.”

It’s as good an introduction as any to the outspoken musician, whose 2019 debut album ‘Hypersonic Missiles’ was a record for his sleepy hometown to be proud of – tackling themes that range from male suicide (the heartbreaking ‘Dead Boys’) to world tensions (and the “kids in Gaza” he eulogised on its soaring title track). He set weighty topics against blisteringly well-executed Americana with the fist-in-the-air euphoria of Bruce Springsteen’s colossal choruses and sax solos. Much like his hero, Sam smartly weaves his own political standpoint and personal circumstance into gripping anthems of a generation, which earned him the ‘Geordie Springsteen’ tag.

“I can’t exactly bat off those comparisons, can I?” he says back in his cosy recording studio nearby. “At the same time, I don’t feel worthy of that tag. The first time I heard it, I was like, ‘That’s fucking sick’, but you don’t want to be riding off the coattails of The Boss for the rest of your life. I can write my own songs, they’re different and my voice doesn’t sound anything like Springsteen’s. I don’t have his growl; I’m a little fairy when I sing.”

He may have toned down the Springsteen vibes slightly on his highly anticipated second album ‘Seventeen Going Under’, due later this year, but there are still plenty of chest-pounding anthems capable of making your hairs stand on end: “I much prefer Americana to the music we have in our country at the moment. I love the leftfield indie stuff like Fontaines D.C, Squid and Black Midi, but I love a chorus and melodic songs. I think the American alternative scene has that down with Pinegrove, Big Thief, The War On Drugs.”

‘Hypersonic Missiles’ thrummed with a small town frustration almost that every suburban teenager could surely relate to. This was most notable on ‘Leave Fast’, where he sang about the “boarded up windows on the promenade / The shells of old nightclubs” and “intoxicated people battling on the regular in a lazy Low Lights bar”, a reference to his beloved local. But album two sees him fully embrace North Shields, an ever-present backdrop to cherished memories and harrowing life events of his youth and surroundings.

It’s no coincidence that the 27-year-old has turned inwards and penned a record about his hometown while being stuck at home like the rest of the country: “I didn’t have anything to point at and I didn’t want to talk about the pandemic because nobody wants that – I never want to hear about it again. It was such a stagnant time that I had to go inwards and find something, because I was so uninspired by the lifetime we we’re living in.

“I’ve made my coming-of-age record and that was important for me – as I get older, these stories keep appearing; I’ve got so much to talk about. I wrote about growing up here. It’s about mental health and how things that happen as a child impact your self-esteem in later life. On the first record, I was pointing at stuff angrily, but the further I’ve gotten into my 20s, the more I’ve realised how little I know about anything. When you hit 25, you’re like: ‘I’m fucking clueless! I know nothing about the world.’ It was a humbling experience, growing up.”

Early last year, before the pandemic hit, Sam was set to jet off to New York pre-pandemic to record in the city’s infamous Electric Lady studios founded by Jimi Hendrix. “Looking back, I’m thankful that it happened,” he says. “If I went off to New York and did my second album there… it wouldn’t have been the same record. I will go and do the third one in NYC, come hell or high water – I’m fucking out of here!

“The forced return home really informed the direction [of the record]. I was on the crest of this insane wave; we’d sold out 84,000 tickets for the [‘Hypersonic Missiles] arena tour that we still haven’t played yet. I’m still waiting to hear when it’s going to be rescheduled. It’s incredibly frustrating; I’ve got loads of frustrated fans. That was all cancelled on the day of the lockdown. I thought it was only going to be a couple of months and that it would be another swine flu thing, but fool me – I was stuck in the house like everybody else.”

It’s not the first setback that Sam has dealt with in his career. In the summer of 2019, he was ready to make his Glastonbury Festival debut with a Friday afternoon set on the legendary John Peel Stage, a rite of passage for any emerging artist, but had to pull out due to a serious health issue with his vocal chords. The mood in the room shifts dramatically at the mention of this devastating period: “I don’t want to focus on that, to be honest, because it’s just negative news and it’s in the past.”

“The further I’ve gotten into my 20s, the more I’ve realised how little I know”

Looking back now, he says, it was a tough decision, but ultimately the right thing to do: “We were doing so much at the time and I just burnt out. If you damage your vocal cords, you can’t take it lightly. If something happens like that and you keep going, you’ll fucking lose your career forever. I never want to end up behind the knife; I just refuse to put myself in that situation.”

The fact that his 2019 breakthrough ground to a halt again in COVID-decimated 2020 “was frustrating as fuck”, he says, “but I took solace in the fact that everyone was stopped in their tracks that time; it wasn’t just me.” This was in stark contrast to the singer’s experience of pulling the biggest moment of his music career in order to rest his vocal cords: “I didn’t talk for three weeks; I had to be silent and just watch Glastonbury on the TV, going, ‘This is completely dogshit’. But you can’t even say that out loud – you’re just saying it over in your head like a psycho. I’d take a pandemic over that any day.”

There was a brief flash of light when he headlined the opening night at the world’s first socially distanced arena, Newcastle’s Virgin Money Unity venue, to an audience of 2,500. Yet Sam’s not in the mood to wax lyrical about that, either. “It was amazing,” he says, “but it didn’t happen again.” A local lockdown in the North East brought the following shows – which would have featured Kaiser Chiefs and Declan McKenna – to a premature end in September: “It was another false start. We thought everything was going to get moving again but then we were just sat around [again].”

As for this reaction to the Government’s handling of the pandemic? It perhaps says it all that he’s selling face masks emblazoned with the words ‘2020 Shit Show’ and ‘Dystopian Nightmare Festival’ on his website. “I think everyone has said enough haven’t they?” Sam suggests. “I never want to see Boris Johnson’s or Matt Hancock’s face ever again. As soon as they come on the TV, I just turn it off.”

Political tension bubbles through ‘Seventeen Going Under’. Its second half boasts tracks such as ‘Long Way Off’, a brooding but colossal festival anthem brimming with angst and unease. “Standing on the side I never was the silent type,” Fender roars, “I heard a hundred million voices / sound the same both left and right / we’re still alone we are.” It’s gripping stuff; a Gallagher-level anthem ripe for pyro and pints held aloft.

Sam says the song is about feeling stranded amid political divisiveness here and in the US, epitomised when Donald Trump supporters stormed the Capitol in Washington back in January: “You’ve either got right-wing, racist idiots or you’ve got this elitist, upper-middle-class section of the left-wing, which completely alienates people like myself and people from my hometown.”

“The polarity between the left and the right has me feeling like I have no identity”

Closer to home, the last UK election, in 2019, saw the so-called ‘Red Wall’ crumble as working-class voters in the north defected from Labour to Tory. “The polarity between the left and the right has me feeling like I have no identity,” Sam says. “I’m obviously left-wing, but you lose hope don’t you? Left-wing politics has lost its main votership; it doesn’t look after working-class people the way that it used to. Blyth Valley voted Tory just north of here. Now, that is saying something! We’re in dire straits when a fucking shipbuilding town is voting for the Tories – it’s like foxes voting for the hunter.”

He’s even seen his own working-class friends peel to the blue side: “I’m like, ‘What the fuck is going on?’ I understand it, though. I’d never vote for the bastards because I fucking hate them and I know what they’re up to, but I get why people don’t feel any alliegiance to left-wing politics when they’re working-class.”

As ever though, Sam isn’t masquerading as an expert: “I’m not fucking Noam Chomsky, you know what I mean? I’m not going to dissect the whole political agenda of the Tories and figure it all out because I can’t. All I see is a big fucking shit sandwich – every day through my news feed – and it’s just, ‘Well: that’s what your dealing with.”

The singer is fond of describing North Shields as “a drinking town with a fishing problem”. Today he adds: “That’s been the backdrop of my life: all of these displaced working-class people. It’s a town that’s resilient that still has a strong sense of community. In a lot of big cities that’s dead. In London everything changes from postcode to postcode, but everything is quite uniform up here.”

When NME was awaiting Sam’s arrival outside the studio before the interview, a passerby clocked our photographer’s gear and asked, “Oh aye – are you waiting for Sam? We all know Sam – a good lad; very accommodating with nae airs or graces about him.” Another pointed to The Low Lights Tavern down the road, where Fender used to pull pints on the weekends: “He was a terrible barman, and he’ll be the first to tell you that. I think he got sacked about six times during his time there.”

Sam (who confesses of his bartending know-how: “He’s totally right!”) hit the local to celebrate when ‘Hypersonic Missiles’ won him a Critics’ Choice gong at the BRIT Awards in 2019, placing the trophy on the bar. “I owed The Low Lights one for being such a shit barman,” he says. “I wanted them to be proud of us because they fucking certainly wasn’t proud of us when I was around working there!”

“Celebrity stuff freaks me out. I’d rather just live my life”

He’s clearly a key member of the local community, then. How did he see the pandemic impact on his family and friends – especially when the North East faced the toughest Tier Four lockdown restrictions last December? Sam pauses before bluntly saying: “I lost more mates; there was suicides again. Mental health was the biggest thing. We lost friends who had drunk too much.”

A track on the new record, ‘The Dying Light‘, is an epic sequel to ‘Dead Boys’, with the poignant last line of the album ringing out “for all the ones who didn’t make the night”. Sam, unable to truly distance himself from The Boss after all, explains: “It’s very Springsteen. It’s my ‘Jungleland’ or ‘Thunder Road’ – it’s got that ‘Born To Run’ feel; there’s strings and brass [and] it’s fucking massive. It’s a celebration. It’s a triumph over adversity.”

He stresses that it was vital for him to be in regular contact with his friendship circle through that traumatic time: “It becomes important when you lose friends to suicide… You realise it’s always the unlikely folks. We lost a friend to suicide at the beginning of last year and it was someone you’d never expect. It really hits home; it’s important to check in on your mates.”

Sam has alluded in previous interviews to a health condition that he’s not yet ready to fully disclose, and tells NME that he spent three months shielding at the beginning of the pandemic: “I was alone for three months and that was very tough… When you’re completely alone and isolated, it’s impossible. I spent a lot of time drinking and not really looking after myself and eating shit food, but I wrote a lot of good lyrics.”

There’s a certain resulting bleakness to some of his new songs, but Sam also wanted light to shine through. “It’s a darker record, but it’s a celebration of surviving and coming out the other end,” he explains. “It’s upbeat but the lyrics can be quite honest. It’s the most honest thing I’ve done.”

You might expect a young hometown hero to rail at having been denied the chance to capitalise on his burgeoning fame in the last year or so, but Sam insists, “I still have imposter syndrome,” adding: “I don’t feel like it’s happened… I’m walking around the street and people ask for photos and it just feels bizarre. I’m like, really? I feel like I haven’t come out of my shell yet.”

Sam has rarely been one to court celebrity, and revealed in 2019 that he’d turned down the chance to appear in an Ariana Grande video. “It was an honour but I would have just been known as that guy in the video,” he tells NME. “All of my mates would have been flipping their heads off, but I don’t think she would really want an out-of-shape, pale Geordie. I’d rather just live my life, because all of this celebrity stuff freaks [me] out, you know?”

He might have to get used to it: things can only get bigger with the arrival of the new album. “As a record I think this one is leagues ahead [of ‘Hypersonic Missiles’],” he says, “I’m more proud of this than anything I’ve ever done. It’s probably the best thing I’ve done in my life. I just hope people love it as much as I do. With the first album, a lot of those songs were written when I was 19, so I was over half of it [by the time it was released]. Whereas this one is where I’m at now.”

“This is a dark record, but it’s a celebration of surviving and coming out the other end”

Still, he adds: “At the same time, this record is probably going to piss a lot of people off.” He’s referring to a line in one of the more political tracks, ‘Aye’, where he returns to his most enduring bugbear, divisiveness, and claims that “the woke kids are just dickheads”. Sam’s no less forthcoming in person: “They fucking are, though! Some 22-year-old kid from Goldsmiths University sitting on his fucking high horse arguing with some working-class person on some comments section calling them an ‘idiot’ and a ‘bigot’? Nobody engages each other in a normal discussion [online] without calling each other a ‘thick cunt’.”

He’s eager to make this statement, though, come what may: “I don’t fucking care any more. I’m not really sure how the reaction is going to be. People used to say things online about me and I used to get quite hurt about it, but now I’m like, ‘Well, they’re not coming to my house’… [But] I get so angry. In Newcastle we say ‘pet’ and someone was trying to tell me that was fucking offensive towards women. You’re not going to delete my fucking colloquial identity. It’s not even gender-specific; we say it to men and women. My Grandma calls me ‘pet’! That brand of liberalism is fucking destroying the country. We could be getting Boris Johnson and all them pricks out of office if we stopped sweating over shit like that”.

Sam might be outspoken, but he’s self-aware, too. When we were talking politics earlier, he said: “I didn’t want to start on ‘cancel culture’ because I don’t want to sound like Piers Morgan [and] I fucking hate that cunt. But there is a degree of it which lacks redemption; people fuck up. Everyone is a flawed character. If you’re not admitting that you have flaws, then you’re a fucking psychopath. The left-wing seem to be that way and the right-wing are fucking worse than they’ve ever been. Politically I have just lost my shit.”

In all of this uncertainty, though, it seems a sure thing that Sam Fender will take his rightful crown – as soon as the world lets him – with the colossal ‘Seventeen Going Under’. “It’s going to be a hell of a return,” he insists. “I know the fans are still there, you know? So I’m not really worried – I’m ready to go out there and do my thing. Finally!”

#sam fender #majestic interview #some important points were raised #loved when he said that he hates the 'celebrity façade of things'#long post

31 notes · View notes

coolnerdyandalone · 5 years ago

Text

on FIMQ deleting her content and COVID-19 (and a gratuitous larry fic rec)

@freddiesmyqueen first of all queen i hope you’re doing ok although i know some shit must have gone down for you to delete/private list all your videos and i hope you know that the larry community supports you always. Also your talent is TRULY unmatched in the world of video editing - no one makes edits quite like you and that’s why your loss impacts the community so profoundly.

secondly, i know at least i was hoping to turn to rewatching all of FIMQ’s videos while i’m being quarantined due to the coronavirus. and i’m willing to bet that i’m not the only one. this is a scary time and for people like me who feel profoundly alone right now, the only way for me to calm my nerves and fears is by reverting to the content and community that helped me feel not so alone when i was in middle and high school. For me, that looks like watching FIMQ videos and reading my favorite larry fanfics (which i will also link below). because of this i thought it might be helpful to repost some links that were posted by @bluemoonlarryandkaylor for a signal boost (if my teeny-tiny account can be called a signal boost).

link to a google drive with FIMQ videos: https://drive.google.com/drive/folders/1ONwfLOd_IYvAL5OUDqDb_LLgQsDpd9il

link to an acct with some FIMQ re-uploads: https://www.youtube.com/user/Joana3961/videos

link to FIMQ vids with spanish subtitles: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLIouodFhArMkQhOHxv2t2NgxTwl6KvXAT

and now if you want to look at some good old fashioned larry fics that are my ABSOLUTE faves and could 100% be actual novels/movies, keep reading:

And Then A Bit** by @infinitelymint aka the best fanfic ever written (basically larry fakes a relationship for publicity with each other and it could be cannon if you really wanted to hope upon hopes): https://archiveofourown.org/works/1415272/chapters/2972746 (159k)

“We’d like to give the fans what they want.” Magee states, placing his hand on the table in front of him and leaning forward. “We want to give them Larry Stylinson.”

Or, take a parallel universe where Louis and Harry were never together, mix in a two year hiatus and an impending comeback, pour in a dash of lost fans, two tablespoons of strong friendship and a Modest! employee with a good idea. Add a squeeze of pretending to be a couple, lots of kisses and a tattoo or two. Stir. Serve: the mother of all publicity stunts.

(aka Harry and Louis fake a relationship for publicity. Eventually it becomes a lot less fake and a lot more real.)

Escapade** by @haydolce aka the Jack McQueen fic: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4034197/chapters/9071932 (146k)

In the grand scheme of things, finding a date for a wedding should be no problem for Louis Tomlinson. He's rich. He's handsome. He's reasonably well behaved. But when the wedding is for his lifelong best friend (and former boyfriend), and is happening in under a month, finding a date for the ceremony and accompanying festivities becomes more of an adventure than he ever could have planned for.

California Sold** by @isthatyoularry : https://archiveofourown.org/works/5157680/chapters/11877494 (123k)

Notoriously closeted boyband member Harry Styles is famous on a global scale, meanwhile Louis, as his best friend, is back home in Manchester, living the typical life of a 24 year old. When Harry needs Louis with him in LA, a publicity stunt gone wrong changes their friendship forever.

A fake-relationship AU between two lifelong best friends.

Bring Your Body Baby (I Could Bring You Fame) by @theboyfriendstagram : https://archiveofourown.org/works/4263903/chapters/9652944 (84k)

Eighteen year old Harry Styles just graduated high school and landed a summer job as a waterboy for his favorite football team. His job description is simple: be ready to hand water and towels to players if needed. That didn’t seem to include Louis Tomlinson though, a twenty-three year old, recently transferred Paris Saint-German player, who seems to like making Harry’s job much more difficult than it has to be.

A self-indulgent AU that takes place over the summer of 2015. 18 year old Harry hates pining after people he can't have, and 23 year old footballer Louis loves flirting with people even though it never means anything.

Pull Me Under** by @zarah5 : https://archiveofourown.org/works/870766/chapters/1672104 (140k)

AU. As the first British footballer to come out at the prime of his career, it helps that Louis Tomlinson is in a long-term, committed relationship. Even if that relationship is fake. (Featuring Niall as Louis' favourite teammate, Liam as Louis' agent, and Zayn as Liam's boyfriend, who just happens to be good friends with one Harry Styles.)

You You You** by @isthatyoularry : https://archiveofourown.org/works/846690/chapters/1617212 (137k)

“Infamous boybander leaves club together with unknown,” read the headline. Underneath were pictures of a boy with dark curls, green eyes and very tight pants. They both studied the article for a moment, reading it through quickly. “Is that…?” Louis frowned. That guy almost looked exactly like... "HOLY FUCKING SHIT!" "Louis," Niall said, looking absolutely fucked over. "You just fucked the most wanted guy on earth. You just fucked Harry Styles of One Direction."

Or, the one where Harry and Louis meet at a club and Louis takes Harry home, only for him to realize that the boy who just made him breakfast half naked is Harry Styles from One Direction.

Like an Endless Summer by @horsegirlharry : https://archiveofourown.org/works/11365494/chapters/25442085 (87k)

“You just wanna go fawn over Styles as soon as possible,” Zayn grumbles.

“I do not. Plus, he probably got ugly this year. Eighteen is an awkward time...I bet he’s got acne and one of those terrible fuckboy haircuts all the hipsters are getting these days, with the shaved sides? Just watch, the first year we’re gonna get any time together is gonna be the first year I don’t have a stupid crush on him.”

---

Or, Louis is a riding instructor at a summer camp, and Harry is a fellow counselor who he’s been successfully managing his crush on for the last two summers. That is, until Harry shows up this year leveled up and lethal, and all Louis’s formerly perfected veneer of nonchalance melts like a popsicle in the sun.

Three French Hems by @100percentsassy and @gloriaandrews : https://archiveofourown.org/works/3064493 (20k)

In which Louis is a designer at Burberry and Harry spends December wearing Lanvin… and Lanvin… and Lanvin.

The Dead of July aka the Marvel Fic by @whimsicule : https://archiveofourown.org/works/3594570/chapters/7928520 (117k)

Being an Avenger means continuing to be Captain America and smiling and being honorable for the public and Harry does his best. But it doesn’t give him time to figure out who he is supposed to be once he takes off his uniform and puts the shield to the side. Just being Harry had always involved Louis, and Harry fears he doesn’t know how to exist without him.

or: Harry is Captain America, and Louis’ been dead for 70 years.

Gods & Monsters by @mizzwilde : https://archiveofourown.org/works/2090982/chapters/4550871 (201k)

The instructions were simple: seduce and destroy Harry Styles. Not once did they discuss the option of Louis actually falling in love. So, naturally, that's exactly what he did.

Love is a Rebellious Bird aka LIARB aka the orchestra fic aka dont hum bolero by @100percentsassy and @gloriaandrews : https://archiveofourown.org/works/1162438/chapters/2362331 (135k)

AU in which the boys still make music. Louis is the concertmaster of the London Symphony Orchestra, Harry is the New! and Exciting! interim conductor/ex-cello prodigy who "has made Mozart cool again" according to Esquire Magazine (Louis hates him immediately, which is definitely why he internet stalked him in his dark bedroom late at night that one time), and Niall is the best. Zayn and Liam are around too.

Don't hum Bolero.

My English Love Affair** by @isthatyoularry : https://archiveofourown.org/works/1873962 (19k)

The thing about sleeping with a member of a famous indie band is that the inevitability of having a song written about you is most likely a hundred percent. The second thing is that in the end, nobody's supposed to find out it's about you.

The one where Harry writes a song about his English love affair and Louis sleeps with someone in White Eskimo and all he gets is a stupid song written about him.

Soft Hands, Fast Feet, Can’t Lose by @haydolce : https://archiveofourown.org/works/5799241/chapters/13366498 (113k)

American Uni AU. Harry Styles is a frat boy football star from the wealthy Styles Family athletic dynasty. A celebrity among football fans, he knows how to play, he knows how to party, and he knows how to fuck (all of which is well known among his legion of admirers).

Louis Tomlinson is a student and an athlete, but his similarities to Harry end there. Intelligent, focused, independent, and completely uninterested in Harry’s charms, Louis is an anomaly in a world ruled by football.

A bet about the pair, who might be more similar than they originally thought, brings them together. Shakespeare, ballet, Disney, football, library chats, running, accidental spooning, Daredevil and Domino’s Pizza all blend into one big friendship Frappucino, but who will win in the end?

Wild and Unruly aka the Cowboy fic by @100percentsassy and @gloriaandrews : https://archiveofourown.org/works/2723093/chapters/6099611 (124k)

Harry is a cowboy sitting on the biggest oil reservoir in Wyoming, and Louis is the paralegal assigned to pressure him into selling his land.

For As Long As I Can Remember (It’s Been December)** by @greenfeelings : https://archiveofourown.org/works/15051122/chapters/34892210 (128k)

After recovering from a severe accident that causes Harry to lose his memory of three years, he moves to London to start his life over as a star chef. Little does he know that when he falls in love with Louis at first sight, it’s not the first time they meet.

Featuring an unintentional game of hot and cold, Harry chasing memories that won’t come back, Louis burying himself in work to try and forget what he can’t forget, Liam being torn between two of his best friends, Zayn as a moral compass and Niall saving the day with good music and brutal honesty.

the boys of fall** aka the american football fic by @godgavemelou : https://archiveofourown.org/works/5443037 (21k)

“And everyone, this is Harry Styles. He’s going to be our starting quarterback this year.”

Louis looks at him, the tall and lanky Harry Styles, and takes it all in. He’s got hair to his shoulders that curls at the ends, tattoos all down his arms, and a bright smile on his face as the team cheers him on. He’s lean and fit, and absolutely beautiful, and Louis hates him to the core.

OR an american football au where the boys play for the university of tennessee, and harry and louis quite hate each other.

** indicates that the fic is a log-in required fic, but if you want the pdf i can send it to you

2K notes · View notes

living-with-pmd · 3 years ago

Text

11 Women With PMDD Share What It's Really Like

Premenstrual dysphoric disorder is the evil cousin of PMS. They share the same types of symptoms—moodiness, increased hunger, cravings, fatigue, cramps, pain, brain fog, and depression, among others—but for PMDD sufferers, those symptoms get so bad they can cripple a woman's ability to lead a normal life.

While up to 85 percent of women get PMS, according to the US Department of Health, only about 5 percent of women experience PMDD, according to the American Journal of Psychiatry.

We asked women with PMDD what it's really like living with the disorder. Here are their stories:

"I was diagnosed with PMDD last summer. Six months prior to my diagnosis, I started taking a certain birth control and soon every month I was experiencing severe PMS issues. I am a generally happy person, but during those few days I was someone entirely different. I was extremely depressed and anxious, having much more frequent panic attacks, and was super sensitive and lonely. I was even suicidal, which was terrifying. And the worst part was I was convinced that I had always been this miserable, and that I would always be this miserable, and it was never going to change. It felt as if someone had completely burned out the light in me and all happiness and joy and hope was gone. I didn't make the connection that it was related to my period but thankfully a close friend did. I have since switched birth control, which helped a lot, and increased the dosage of my anti-anxiety and anti-depressant meds. Most importantly, I am aware of the way I feel those few days so I know to expect it, and I can logically remind myself that I will stop feeling that way soon. Looking back, I realize that I've probably always had pretty bad PMS or PMDD. The birth control worsened it but it was also causing a lot of issues I wasn't aware of previously as well." —Katherine H., 22, Edmonds, WA

———————————

"PMDD is out of control. I cry really easily for about a week. My biggest issue is that I am convinced that I am failing at everything—being a wife, a mom, work projects, fitness, my whole life! And even though it feels so real I constantly have to question if my feelings are valid or if they are amplified by my cycle. I just set an alert in my phone to remind me to consider my hormones the next time I feel that way." —Krysten B., 32, Toronto, CA

———————————

"A week before my period, I become a complete psycho, completely unlike myself. I'm tearful, want to eat everything that's sweet or salty, have absolutely no tolerance for anything other than perfection, and prefer to be left completely alone. I already take an antidepressant but my PMDD was a complete nightmare so my doctor gave me Prozac to take for just 10 days a month. Basically, I start it when I start to get that irrational feeling and keeping taking it until my period starts. And that's just the emotional stuff. On the physical side, I have debilitating cramps, backaches, and headaches that last for days. Yep. I'm a peach." —Kristen L., 40, Knoxville, TN

——��————————

"In the past, PMDD almost made me suicidal and totally broke my spirit. Yes it wasthat bad. Every month. Eventually I got tired of being a 'crazy PMS woman' and decided I needed to fix this. Since I don't like to take pharmaceuticals, I branched out to homeopathic remedies and I discovered St. John's Wort and essential oils, especially clary sage and Doterra Calm-Its. It's a lot better now but I still have my hard days." —Amy S., 43, Zebulon, NC

———————————

"My PMDD got so bad I had to go to a psychiatrist and be put on Prozac along with another antidepressant I was already taking. I was a mess—anxious, crying randomly over the smallest thing, and eating everything in sight. One example is someone made a YouTube mashup of the Age of Ultron trailers with Pinocchio footage and the 'I've got no strings on me' song and that wrecked me for weeks. Every time I thought about scenes from Pinocchio I would start panicking and crying at my work desk. It's been a few years and I'm better now. I'm off birth control and weening myself off the Prozac. I notice a week before my period I will sob during any sad part in a movie or book I'm reading, and a day or two before, I notice I'm more likely to be anxious." —Kate W., 36, Alaska

———————————

"This has impacted my ability to work effectively. My pet peeve is when people say 'it must be close to your time of the month' when they simply don't like what I'm saying. I have run into that problem a lot at previous jobs and it makes it really hard to be taken seriously. It's bullshit because my feelings are valid regardless and also PMDD is not a joke. I am so lucky now to have a male boss who understands but it wasn't always that way. I have also have found a lot of relief with naturopathic and herbal remedies." —Amalia F., 28, Vancouver, Canada

———————————

"My PMS was tolerable until my second child was born and then everything went off the rails. I'd be looking forward to plans with others, happy, and then about 10 to 14 days before my flow would start, my mood would turn on a dime. I'd be horrible—crying, screaming that ~nobody understands~, just so much emotional pain. I'd basically lock myself up in the bedroom for a full day to cry, get angry, and feel sorry for myself. It took three doctors before I finally found one who would listen to me before I was finally diagnosed with PMDD. I took Prozac for three years for it but it made me feel numb, like a zombie and not like myself. So I quit and my family just deals with me now. As I've gotten closer to menopause the PMDD is not as bad, but can be very unpredictable due to hormonal swings from perimenopause. The worst part now is I feel like my friendships have suffered. I always seem to have episodes around major holidays and events and I end up bumming everyone out if I do show up so I end up staying home a lot." —Colleen T., 50, St. Paul, MN

———————————

"I'm overly emotional for the week before my period. Saying that makes it sound like it's not that bad but I get so distraught that my fiance has actually scheduled it in his phone as 'blood sport' to remind himself what's coming. I'm thankful that he's patient because I also feel like everyone hates me that week, too." —Kenlie T., 36, New Orleans, LA

———————————

"All month long I'm fine and feel even and calm and then suddenly, the week before my period, I can't handle even the tiniest little thing. My irritability goes through the roof (which is not great since I have a 5-year-old) and I feel like I have no friends. It really makes me sad." —Jessica S., 28, Broomfield, CO

———————————

"I know my period is coming because all of a sudden all of my joints hurt, especially my knees and ankles. I also get crazy gnarly cramps and once I even had a cyst that ruptured while I was on a date and the guy had to take me to the hospital! It was so embarrassing. Thankfully my husband now is very understanding when this time rolls around each month. The worst part is people who just think I make this stuff up. Some months are better than others and sometimes the pain is completely debilitating! My emotions are also a rollercoaster. Anytime I see something cute or inspiring, I burst into tears." —Ivie C., 21, Rexburg, ID

———————————

"My PMDD manifests in both mental and physical symptoms. From the time I got my period at age 12, I've had extreme cramps and heavy bleeding. I'd leak at school through a super maxi pad every class so I'd tie sweatshirts around my waist and have to scrub my clothes when I got home. It was super humiliating. I'd have to take six to eight ibuprofen at a time to deal with cramps, and if I didn't I'd end up on the floor sweating like I had the flu. Sometimes I'd even throw up. This meant I ended up spending a lot of time sick in bathrooms and knew where every restroom was at all times. Birth control helped manage the PMDD and other issues, but as soon as I was done having kids, I had a hysterectomy. That was the best thing I've ever done." —Mandy P., 39, Mendon, UT

https://www.womenshealthmag.com/health/a19972132/premenstrual-dysphoric-disorder/

#premenstrual dysphoric disorder #PMDD #pmdd awareness #living with pmdd #actually pmdd #mental health awareness #mental health #women's health #pms #premenstrual syndrome #afab problems

23 notes · View notes

lazyangeltreemoney · 5 years ago

Text

Emergency Contact

Oneshot, Rich Kid AU

Description: James Barnes has been Y/N’s best friends since they were kids, even though they seem to come from completely different worlds. So much so that Bucky lists Y/N as his emergency contact, but the spoiled rich kid has to learn the hard way that Y/N has a life too.

Pairings: Rich-Kid!Bucky x Reader

Word Count: 5991

Warnings: swearing, Bucky being a brat, car crash, hospitals, character injury, police stations, ANGST

A/N: this one is angsty AF and involves two idiots being in love. also gotta love a little bit of feisty!reader, hope y’all enjoy.

“So Y/N the demo sounds amazing-”

RING RING RING

Y/N almost jumped out of her seat trying to silence her phone. Sat in the big office, the man sat opposite her with lots of big gold records in frames behind him gave her a judgemental stare.

“Sorry about that, as you were saying, Mr Graves,” Y/N spoke, trying to sound as professional as possible.

She was so close, this could be it, her big break. Finally, she sat in the office with Mr Jimmy Graves, one of the biggest music producers on the scene. All the fame and fortune, she could almost taste it. It would make all those nights singing in shitty bars worth it.

“As I was saying, the demo is amazing, your voice, out of this world, but I’m afraid that you’re not the look we’re going for at the moment.” Mr Graves finished on a low note.

“I’m sorry, what?” Y/N choked out, no, no this couldn’t be happening.

Just as Mr Graves tried to downplay crushing her dreams by offering her a role as a backing singer on some other artists track, her infernal phone rang again.

RING RING RING

No longer caring about anything the man had to say anymore, she answered it.

“Hello, who is this?” Y/N seethed out, she tried her best to not sound pissed off but she was not having a good day.

“Hello, is this Miss L/N, I’m calling from the 87th precinct, you’ve been listed as James Barnes emergency contact, I’m sorry ma’am but you’ll have to come down to the station,”

It probably wasn’t a good idea to be speeding on the way to a police precinct but when it came to Bucky Y/N didn’t care. Parking her car up by the sidewalk, she rushed out into the precinct. When she walked in one of the detectives practically swept her up and led her to where they were holding Bucky.

The detective looked tired and was holding a cup of coffee. As Y/N followed him down the halls towards the interrogation room he seemed to look more and more pissed off. Y/n could only assume he had been interrogating Bucky, god he could be an ass when he wanted to. She even felt sorry for the detective.

They eventually reached a room at the end of the hall. The detective opened it to show Bucky handcuffed to the desk. The room had dark walls and a blinding white light directly over Bucky. Behind him was a one-way mirror where Y/n could see some bloody marks on Bucky’s back. His face was bruised, along with his hands looking bloody.

“Jesus Buck.” Y/N sighed at the sight of him.

Bucky raised his head to look at her. He was so focused on her that he didn’t even look at the detective that uncuffed him.

“Looks like Daddy’s bailed you out, my superiors have told me to let you go… don’t let me see you again, Barnes.” The detective warned him in a low tone.

“And I was about to add you to the Christmas card list.” seethed sarcastically as he got up out of the chair.

Bucky knew the drill and knew where to collect his stuff. He walked past Y/N and down the corridor, completely blanking her. It’s fine, not as if I’m here to pick your ass up away. Y/N looked back at the detective who was giving her an apologetic stare.

“You his girlfriend or something?” The detective asked.

“Nope, do I dare ask what he was taken in for?” Y/N winced as if she was bracing for impact.

“Assault and destruction of property, it was a bar fight that got out of hand apparently.” The detective explained.

“Thank you, Detective.” Y/N sighed and went to follow after Bucky.

“Ma’am if I could offer some advice, rich boys like Barnes take everything for granted, don’t let him take you for granted as well.” The detective’s wisdom, however, didn’t sit right with her.

She wanted to argue back at him, tell him that he didn’t know Bucky but Bucky was calling her from down the end of the hall telling her to hurry up. The detective only flashed her a look of ‘I told you so’ before Y/n went racing out after Bucky.

When Y/N got outside Bucky was smoking a cigarette. He looked a little more cooled down from earlier but still relatively annoyed. The orange embers at the end of the cigarette seemed to illuminate him in an amber glow. Even bruised and bloodied he still looked beautiful. Y/n had known Bucky since they were children and she had always thought he was beautiful. Bucky glanced up at Y/N and took one long drag on the cigarette before stubbing it out.

“How the hell did my Dad even know I was here?” Bucky groaned as he walked with Y/n to her car.

“You’re Dad probably knows one of the officers, still it’s nice of him to bail you out for what, the tenth time this month?” Y/N argued with him, she really didn’t want to fight with Bucky right now but sometimes it was the only way to get anything through his thick skull.

“What does it matter to you?” Bucky argued back, stopping dead in his tracks.

Because I care about you, you idiot.

“You know listing me as your emergency contact doesn't mean I’m at your beck and call at any point.” Y/N tried to remind him that she had a life as well.

“Please, I’m not taking you away from much, your nights of singing in dirty bars and songwriting for cheesy commercials are oh so important to you all of a sudden?” Bucky questioned in his ever sarcastic tone.

“God, could you stop being such a spoiled rich kid for two seconds.” Y/N groaned

“I’m just saving you some time Doll, you really think you’re gonna make it big one day like this?” Bucky’s sarcastic questions were cutting through her like a knife. Every harsh word from him was another stab at her. How could he say such things? Had he always been this harsh and Y/N was just blind to it?

“Just because I have to work for what I want doesn’t make it impossible Barnes, I haven’t been gifted everything I want like you.” Y/N was trying to hold back the tears, god she really hated fighting with him.

“Y/N, that’s the only way you get anything in life, but I’ll tell you what, if you want to spend the rest of your life singing in the same bars uninterrupted then I’ll take you off my emergency contact, hell I’ll take you off my whole contact list,” Bucky yelled at her.

Maybe it was the fact that she had just had her dreams crushed once tonight already made Bucky’s words sting so much. The fact that she had been told she doesn’t have the right look, the fact that Bucky, who had once believed so heavily in her dreams, was now trying to tear them down. Spite is an excellent motivator, however.

“Fuck you Bucky,” Y/N wasn’t sure what came over her but she shoved Bucky into the lampost, she felt god damn feral and Bucky could only watch her in shock. “I’m going to make it so fucking big, my names going to be in lights, in every talk show hosts mouth, my songs are going to be on the radio and I’m going to sing in the biggest arenas on this planet and I’m going to earn every second of it, meanwhile you will just be some spoiled rich kid who is only known as George Barnes’ brat.” Y/N’s words dripped out of her like venom as she walked away from Bucky.

It was only when she had her back turned could she let the tears finally escape her. She didn’t care that she was meant to pick him up, he could walk home for all she cared. Right now she needed to be as far away from him as possible. As she drove herself home could think of Bucky and how things had become so messed up.

He was once such a sweet and kind boy, being her best friend and supporting her for as long as she could remember. She remembered the nights when Bucky wouldn’t miss a single one of her performances, always insisting every time she sang was better than the last. Now, he was almost unrecognisable. It was as if time had taken the kind boy and replaced him with a selfish and cruel man. Y/N decided that night that she didn’t need Bucky, that she was going to make it big without him and it was going to be glorious.

The crowd applauded as Y/N bowed slightly and bid the crowd goodnight. Stepping down from the stage another singer walked up on the stage and introduced themselves. A year had passed since Y/N left Bucky outside that police precinct and she was actually doing pretty well for herself.

Less than a month after the fight she had managed to get a job at a classy club in Manhattan full time. It was owned by a wealthy man named Loki who seemed to love Y/N’s voice more than anything else in the world. He paid her well and let her have her pick of the setlist, luck seemed to suddenly be in her favour. For nine months it was bliss… until James Fucking Barnes brought the club off Loki and became the new owner.

Y/N had no proof but she was convinced Bucky had brought the place purely to spite her. That he was desperate to make her feel as if she couldn’t do anything without him. It’s not even as if Y/N could have left, where else was she going to get a job she loved that paid her this well? So for the past three months, she had been avoiding Bucky like the plague. Only talking to him when absolutely necessary, not caring that he was now her boss.

Every night that Bucky knew Y/N was performing he was there at the club. Every night he would listen to her angelic voice, watch her take the crowds breath away as she sang and every night he would realise how wrong he was. Y/N would walk on stage in a beautiful dress that would always leave him tongue-tied and make his heart stop. You would think six months away from her would have given him time to figure out what to say to her… but it didn’t. How do you apologise for being an ass to your best friend for years?

He didn’t mean to become such a monster, but power had grown on him like a tumour. He felt untouchable, nothing he did matter anymore. Any problem he had he could simply throw money on and it would disappear. Anyone he wanted usually wanted him just as much. Soon he became as cold as his money. Even his childhood best friend couldn’t make him come back to reality.

Y/N leaving also made Bucky have another heartbreaking realisation… he loved her. When Y/N walked away from him that night at first he tried to not care. He still went out, got into fights, danced with whoever he liked and drank as much as he wanted. But none of it filled the hole in his heart. It was in a noisy night club with a girl trying to climb on his lap that he realised that he would much rather be in Y/N’s small apartment and having Y/N cuddle up against him. He missed the nights where they would talk about everything and nothing all at once. The nights where they would drink and Y/n would get the courage to show him the new songs she’d been working on.

When he found out that Y/N was singing at the Heimdal, a club that his Dad was looking to buy, he leapt at the chance. He hoped that by becoming her boss she would have to talk to him, they would have a heartwarming reunion and somehow fall in love. However, Y/N had been cold and curt to Bucky the second he walked back into her life.

Y/N waltzed over to the bar, feeling absolutely parched after her last set. Sam, the bartender, handed her a glass of water and then handed her another drink. This one looked like some kind of fruity cocktail, definitely not what she’d ordered. Y/n shot him a confused look.

“It’s from him again,” Sam sighed giving her an apologetic look, “It’s here if you want it.”

“I won’t.” Y/N grimaced.

Bucky’s new tactic to get her to talk to him wasn’t even talking to her, but to have Sam always give her some fancy drink after her set. Guess he’s still just throwing money at his problems. Annoyed, Y/N sat down on one of the bar stools and took another sip of water. She knew she shouldn’t have but briefly looking over her shoulder she saw Bucky sat in one of the clubs’ booths. He did look a little better than when she last saw him. He'd cut his hair shorter and shaved his beard, that combined with his navy suit made Y/N’s heart skip a beat.

However, the sight of a girl sat next to him, clearly trying to get in his lap made Y/N cringe. One second he was buying Y/N drinks and the next he was getting off with other girls. A small amount of jealousy boiled in her stomach… but she couldn’t say why. Y/N had watched him go on plenty of dates during college, she never felt jealous then but now she can’t stand the sight of Bucky and this bimbo.

Y/N was pulled from her thoughts by a stranger sitting next to her. He called over to Sam asking for a scotch and gestured to Y/N.

“-And another round for the Lady when she finishes her drink.” The man spoke.

“What’s the occasion?” Y/n asked cautiously at him with a raised brow.

“Nothing much just heard the most angelic voice in America, is all.” The man said nonchalantly with a smirk on her face.

A slight blush appeared on Y/N’s face and she moved a strand of hair behind her ear. No one had complimented her on her voice like that before, not even Bucky. Trying to not seem too fluster, Y/N sat up a little straighter.

“So what brings you here tonight, Mr…?” Y/N asked, giving a genuine smile.

“Tony Stark, a friend of mine kept saying that they had an actual angel perform here, turns out he wasn’t wrong.” He took another sip of his drink and winked at Y/N.

“Wait, Stark as in Stark Records…” Y/N whispered the last part as the realisation hit her.

Tony Stark, the owner of Stark Records had just brought her a drink and said that she liked her voice, called it angelic in fact.

“Yes, don’t tell me you’re going to faint.” Tony teased

“No promises.” Y/n let out a faint laugh, still in shock.

Tony and Y/N had been chatting briefly, he asked her about what music is liked, the conversation moved onto Y/N’s original music and Tony was practically begging to hear some demos. Y/N matched his excitement, this was the happiest she had felt in so long. Tony listened to one of her songs through her headphones and he knew that she was going to be his next star.

“So, what do you say that you stop singing for Barnes and start singing for me, I’ve been looking for a new star and honestly Y/N, you’d be perfect.” Tony offered.

“Are you serious, you sure I don’t have the wrong look or something?” Y/N asked meekly, her insecurities getting the better of her.

“Sweetheart, anyone who doesn’t like looking at you has something wrong with them.” Tony smiled back at her.

Many of his current stars were once like Y/N. Immensely talented but scared they weren’t the right look. Tony, however, knew from experience that someone as talented as Y/N didn’t need to follow some look.

Y/N was about to accept Tony’s offer when she heard a giggle behind her.

“James, at least wait till we’re back at yours.” The girl seemed to squeal.

Even now, James Fucking Barnes seemed to be taking her spotlight. It was childish, the jealousy and silent treatment but Bucky seemed to bring out the worst in her. Y/N let out a frustrated huff and then she saw the fruity cocktail Sam had given her.

“Actually Sam, I'll take that drink,” Y/N smirked, grabbing the tall glass. “If you’ll excuse me for one second.”

Bucky had decided to have another drink, telling himself that after this one he would finally work up the courage to talk to Y/N. That was the plan, it was the plan he had made over three hours ago, now he had some random girl by his side who was causing a scene. Bucky knew these types of girls all too well, the ones who wanted the tabloids to be going nuts with seeing a girl hanging off his arms. Bucky was trying to make it clear that he wasn’t interested but this one was persistent and the drink was beginning to catch up with him.

Just as he was about to tell the girl to go far, far away he felt a splash of cold water on his face. He jumped out of his chair in shock and was ready to call security when he looked up to see it was Y/N who had thrown the drink of him.

“You can keep your drinks,” Y/N began, placing the now empty glass on his table, “and I quit.” A satisfied smirk appeared on her face as she waltzed away from him.

Bucky was gobsmacked, the whole room was staring at him, even the band had stopped playing. Bucky could only watch Y/N walk towards a man by the bar. He desperately wanted to chase after her but the girl who had been on his lap most of the night was now whining non-stop.

“Ugh James I think some of it got on my dress, this is PRADA you bitch, JJaaammmess call security on her!” She was like an angry chihuahua.

Y/N could hear the girls whining at Bucky and it only made her pride swell. Have fun with her tonight ‘James’. She sauntered towards Tony who could only chuckle at Y/N’s actions.

“You’re going to be a handful aren’t you.” Tony raised a brow at her.

“Well, there’s nothing like a good bit of publicity,” Y/N smirked.

With that Y/N left the club for the last time on Tony’s arm and with Bucky left hopelessly behind. To her, it seemed like a fitting start to her new life.

Five years had passed since she first met Tony. He had become her mentor, teaching her how to truly make a lasting impression on audiences and how to act now that she was under the media's watchful eye.

With every new song Y/N released, her fame only grew more and more. In a mere five years, she had become an icon with her voice and ‘angelic’ style of dress. Tony’s words the first night she met became something of a mantra to Y/N. True to her word, she was bigger and better than she ever believed she could be. She had proved Bucky wrong at every chance she was given… even if he wasn’t around to see it.

Y/N had just finished tonight’s performance and was cooling down in her dressing room. No matter how many times she performed to thousands of people, she still needed some quiet time after to make all the adrenaline leave her body. She’d changed out of her costume and simply had on a silk robe as she removed her makeup. The silence of the room was a stark contrast to the screaming crowds Y/N had been in front of earlier but she liked it. It was something to keep her grounded.

Just as Y/N finished removing her makeup her phone rang. Tony made fun of her for being one of the biggest names in America and still having the same phone from five years ago. Something about the nostalgia of it was comforting. Despite her fame and fortune, Y/N never wanted to forget everything she had because she worked for it. She didn’t recognise the number but nonetheless, she answered the call.

“Hello?”

“Is this Y/N L/N… the actual Y/N L/N speaking?” A voice asked on the other line.

“Yes, who is this?” Y/N replied, there weren’t many people these days who had her number.

“I’m a nurse at St. Andrews hospital, we’ve recently had to admit James Barnes and he’s listed you as his emergency contact,”

By some miracle, Y/N had been touring in the same state where Bucky was. Tony had warned Y/N against it, telling her that the paparazzi would be on her like vultures and ‘wasn’t Barnes the same guy you threw your drink on.’ But she couldn’t just ignore him, she never could.

Y/N tried to dress as casually as possible and wore a pair of sunglasses in hopes that she wouldn’t be spotted. As she walked up to the reception she felt like cursing whatever cruel God was going to bring James Barnes thundering back into her life.

It just had to be from a hospital, I haven't had one phone call from him in years and when I finally do it’s because he’s hurt himself… I guess something will never change.

Y/N told herself she would just see if he was okay if he was then she could simply walk away and never see him again. The lady on reception told her that he was in room 104, so Y/n walked down the corridor trying to hold her head high. No matter how hard she tried, there was an uneasy pit of worry forming inside her. What if Bucky was seriously hurt? What if he was dying? All the worst possible scenarios seemed to be forming in her mind. She needed to find Bucky and she needed to find him now.

Before she knew it, Y/n was running towards his room. Acting almost on impulse she heaved the door open to see Bucky lying on the hospital bed. At first glance, Bucky seemed to be fine with only a couple of scratches and bruises on him but then Y/n looked at him properly. Maybe my eyes are playing tricks on me? But they weren’t… Bucky’s left arm was gone.

Bucky looked up to see some girl standing in his room. She was wearing a cream trench coat and sunglasses as if she was from old Holywood. There was a second of uneasy silence when Bucky was about to explain that she had the wrong room when she finally spoke up.

“Bucky,” Her voice quivered as she walked closer to him. She removed her sunglasses and Bucky could have sworn his heart stopped beating then and there.

He had seen so much of her, in the papers, magazines and on almost every billboard in the country. True to her word she had become a star, bigger and brighter than ever. However, no matter how many times he saw her on paper it didn’t come close to seeing her in person.

“Jesus Buck,” She sighed when she was finally right next to him, “What happened to you?”

Bucky looked down to where his arm should’ve been but instead all he could see was disgusting scar tissue peeking out from his bandage. There wasn’t much to say other than he had been his usual self and this time it nearly killed him. He was speeding down a dark country road without a care in the world when the car spun out of control and hit another car driving the other way. By a miracle, the other driver hadn’t been hurt but fate wasn’t going to let Bucky get away scot-free. Bucky looked back up to Y/N, he didn’t want to admit to her that after all these years he was still being an idiot.

“You were right you know, you made it bigger than anyone ever thought you could be and you did earn every single bit of it all by yourself,” Bucky began to speak. His voice sounded rough and strained as he talked. Every word that came from his mouth seemed to break Y/N’s heart.

“You were right about me as well… I’m nothing more than some spoiled rich kid.” Bucky seemed to hang his head in shame.

“Oh, Bucky, you’re so much more than that,” Y/N instantly felt the guilt from their argument wash over her. In all these years she never considered that what she said might have hurt Bucky.

“No I am, I’m pathetic... I can’t even hold you in my arms… I always thought the next time I saw you I would get to hold you-” Bucky choked up, tears beginning to well up in his eyes.

Y/N’s heart broke at the sight. Acting as if no time had passed, Y/n kneeled down next to him and took his head in her hands, wiping away his tears.

“I’ve felt so numb for so long Y/N, I haven’t felt anything in five years until you walked through that door,” Bucky admitted.

“You have no idea what it was like to hear your name for the first time in five years, pretty sure my heart stopped.” Y/N’s face carried the same pained expression as his.

That was when it dawned on Bucky, he never did remove her from his emergency contact. Part of him was beginning to wonder why she had suddenly appeared in the hospital. An awkward silence fell between them. They hadn’t seen each other in so long and they didn’t part on the best terms but right now Bucky needed Y/N. He needed the girl who became his friend when he was 11, the girl who cared for him more than words could say but also called up out for all his bullshit. So that’s when he asked her,

“I know I have no right to ask you, but please don’t go, please?” Bucky begged.

At that moment Y/N released how broken Bucky was. In all of her life Bucky seemed to demand everything, so used to having everything at his beck and call. This was the first time in her life she could recall Bucky actually asking for something.

“I’m not going anywhere Bucky, I’ll always be here for you when you need me.” Y/N told him.

She meant it with every fibre in her body. There was some cruel silver lining in this whole story. That this tragic night needed to happen to bring them back to each other. Y/N stayed with Bucky all night, even when they tried to kick her out after visiting hours, Y/N merely dropped her name and they let her stay all night.

Bucky had been given some heavy pain meds and was fast asleep but still, Y/N refused to leave his side. He could have died tonight. Those words played over in her mind like a bad record. It’s what made her realise that she had spent over six years without her best friend. That she had abandoned him when he needed her the most. Y/N didn’t even have a good reason for abandoning him other than pettiness and stubbornness.

Then Y/N’s phone rang, it was Tony and Y/N already knew he was going to be pissed.

“Hey, Tones,” Y/N answers trying to sound as sweet as possible.

“Well if it isn’t my Darling protege, tell me Y/N in all teachings have you truly learnt nothing?” Tony’s sarcastic tone made Y/N pull away slightly from the phone. As badly as she wanted to hang up on him then and there, it would have only made him angrier.

“Tony,” Y/N sighed down the phone, hoping she could calm him down.

“Oh no you’re not talking your way out of this, there’s currently about 100 reporters and paps outside the hospital as we speak and they’re sure as hell not leaving without some answers,”

Y/N tried to cut in but Tony was very clearly not finished with his rant.

“-Answers as to why The Y/N L/N suddenly ditched her own after-party for some random guy in a hospital bed, what Bonzo story are you going to try and float here?” Tony groaned down the phone.

“I don’t know, okay!” Y/N yelled back, her sweet exterior finally broken down, “He just called and I came running, it’s always been the same old schtick… it’s like I can’t fucking help myself,” Y/N’s voice wasn’t as harsh as Tony’s there was still a magnitude in the words she said.

She could have simply not come and told the lady that Bucky was trying to pull a fast one but she didn’t. Instead, she put everything in her life on hold just to make sure he was okay and the worst part? She would do it again in a heartbeat.

“Look I can take care of the reporters, claim that it’s a close family friend but I need you to do something for me,” Tony sighed, “I need you to promise me that you won’t give everything up for him… whatever you two have isn’t worth losing everything you worked for.”

Y/N didn’t have the strength to keep arguing with him or anyone else. Going through the motions, Y/N simply hung up and looked back up at Bucky. He was fast asleep, the pain meds kicking in at last. That was when an awful thought hit her, she could leave now… he’s alive, you’ve done your duty… but then what? Wait another five years until he gets hurt again? She wanted to stay for him but it couldn’t be like last time. Things needed to change.

When Bucky woke up it was nearly 10 am, man the pain meds must’ve knocked him out cold. He glanced around the room, there were nurses, monitors and IV drips all around him but no Y/N. Had she snuck out in the night? Bucky couldn’t have blamed her if she had, one night wasn’t going to make up for the near-decade he had spent being an ass.

“Rise and shine, Handsome,” A nurse called over to him as she checked over his vitals.

Bucky could only give her a small nod of acknowledgement, his mind too preoccupied with Y/N.

“Something on your mind there, handsome,” The nurse kept pestering him.

“His name is James,”

Bucky pushed himself up to see it was Y/N standing by the door holding a coffee and a couple of bags. Her tone towards the nurse was flat and unamused. Something that made Bucky smile properly for the first time in years. The nurse finally left but not before telling Bucky he could simply ‘buzz’ for her at any time, in a sultry voice, a voice that made Bucky feel like spiders were crawling up his back.

Y/N was giving the nurse a death glare until she had finally left the room. Letting out a small huff, Y/N placed the cup of coffee down on the table and started going through the various shopping bags she had, silently.

“You don’t have to be jealous,” Bucky spoke,

“I’m not jealous,” Y/N muttered as she continued to go through the bags.

“Yes you are, you’ve got the same look on your face as you did when you saw Cindy Schatt’s kissing John Rider,” Bucky chuckled at the memory of that pool party at his house decades ago.

Y/N just remained silent, trying to not make eye contact with him. Bucky knew that she only did that when she knew he was right but didn’t want to argue. To be completely honest, Bucky didn’t want to argue either. He felt that they had wasted too much time arguing and swallowing their feelings, far too much time.

“I love you,” Bucky stated, his voice calm, clear and confident.

Y/N’s hands suddenly stopped moving. All the cogs in her brain stopped working as she tried to comprehend what Bucky had just said… he said he loved her. Slowly, she glanced up and allowed her gaze to meet him.

“Y/N, I love you so please don’t waste your time being jealous over some nurse,” Bucky repeated, making it clear to Y/N that he had no hidden agenda.

“How should I spend my time then?” Y/N murmured.

“Tell me you love me back,” Bucky breathed

“I’ve always loved you, that’s the problem,” Y/N sighed, why did it always seem to end in a fight with him.

Bucky felt like the oxygen in the air was suffocating him. God, with every other girl in his life it had always been so easy bit with Y/N he never seemed to be able to find the right words to say. What annoyed Bucky the most was how simple things could be, she loved him and he loved her. This was supposed to be where they would finally get their happy ending, the boy finally confesses his love for the girl and they crash into each other and kiss while the credits roll.

Y/N looked up at Bucky trying to gauge his reaction. Surely her confession couldn’t have surprised him so much. Was Bucky that clueless? All those nights she came rushing to his side when he was being a reckless idiot? Did he just assume she would do that for anyone? Bucky, however, looked completely at a loss. That was when Y/N said fuck it.

She walked over to Bucky and kissed him. Y/N cupped his cheeks and kissed him like it was the last time she would ever see him… she hadn’t quite made up her mind yet if it was going to be. Bucky kissed her back so desperately, convincing himself that her kiss was more vital to him than breathing. When Y/N finally pulled away slightly for air, Bucky couldn’t help but reach up for the taste of her lips again.

But then he noticed Y/N pull away slightly further, her hands still cupped his cheeks as if she never wanted to let go. But at the same time, she didn’t want to give all of herself to him, not anymore.

“Doll,” Bucky whispered.

“I just- I just can’t let it be like last time, James,” Y/N whispered back.

“Never, I will never be like that again, it’s already cost me far too much and I’m sure as hell not losing you again,” Bucky’s eyes were just as glassy as her’s, tears threatening to spill at any moment.

Y/N wanted to tell him how he never truly lost her but Bucky didn’t give her the chance. He kissed her, somehow even more feverishly than last time. They parted panting and forehead resting against one another. It wasn’t the kindest of reunions but it was certainly the sweetest.

#bucky barnes x reader #bucky x reader #ceo!bucky #ceo!bucky x reader #marvel fanfiction #marvel imagine #avenegrs #marvel #winter solider x reader #richkid!bucky #singer!reader #tony stark x reader

1K notes · View notes

queen-of-my-goofball-army · 3 years ago

Text

"Helloooooooo nurse!

Uhhhhh

Wait a minute, you expect us poor innocent children to climb that dangerous scaffolding and paint naked people over a church?" (Yakko Warner original Animaniacs 1993-1998)

"Yeah I'm zainer than Billy, to the max! Leader of the animated maniacs" (Yakko Warner reboot of Animaniacs 2020-)

Hey everyone! Now that I'm finally officially finished with math I can get back to making edits more frequently! I wanted to start by making my husbandos since really I don't have a lot of comfort characters that I haven't made edits for that didn't make the cut. The only other one's were Katie from The Michells Vs The Machine's which everyone has already heard me talk about endlessly. So I've decided that we're going to forgo my rambling about the same characters over and over and instead move along to making edits for characters that I've never made one's for and haven't talked about a whole lot, my husbandos from cartoons. There is a surprisingly short list so I figured that it would be the easiest for me to slowly get back to work making edits again.

Most of you that have talked to me for all of five minutes know that one of my favorite shows from my childhood was Animaniacs. It gave me two relatable characters that grew to make up my adult and teen personality when I got older. I've already talked about my love of Dot to death by this point in my life. Everyone and their mother that follows me knows that she's not just my favorite character on the show but my favorite female character in any cartoon ever. But what most people don't know is that my two favorite Warner siblings are constantly going at it for the coveted spot as favorite Warner. As most of you can probably guess my husbando in the Animaniacs universe is the oldest brother Yakko Warner.

To talk about Yakko we have to time travel a bit. We have to go back to when I was nine sitting in my fourth grade class when one of my favorite teachers that I've ever had in my entire life, Mrs McFarland pulled down her projector. We had just started studying geography for the first time. She told us beforehand that there were new countries and places that were no longer countries anymore that were listed in the song. But she thought that it was the best way to teach us the material. The moment that I saw this little ball of energy and adorableness bouncing around I knew that I was hooked. Some part of me already knew that he would be one of the characters that would "ruin" me for the future type that I've come to have.

I promised myself that I would go home that day and start watching the actual show. Fast forward almost thirteen years later and I still love him just as much as I did back then if not more. Every time I go back and rewatch the show again I love him even more. It's a curse but at this point I wouldn't have it any other way. We all have those characters that have shaped the way that we want our significant others to be when we're younger and for me the first of all of those was Yakko Warner.

I feel like a lot of the time Yakko's intelligence gets vastly undermined. A good chunk of the educational songs went to him in the original show something that the reboot has yet to receive. I hope that in the second season we get a second calling to Yakko's Nations Of The World or something like that. Every time I remember the original Animaniacs one of the biggest things that I remember is the educational stuff. They treated children like adults and taught them things that really mattered and so many things that I know today is due to the things that Yakko taught me. He literally helped me understand multiplication also when I was in the fourth grade. I got a medal from my principal as well for knowing them. In the reboot there was a severe lack of Yakko intelligence I feel like. That was my biggest problem with it, and even then it wasn't huge. A lot more character went to Dot instead and she was the intellectual sibling while Yakko was the goofball flirty jokester. While that was a big part of his personality in the '93 version I do hope that we get the snarky intellectual soon.

Another thing that I love about Yakko is his protective streak as the older brother. He's always the first one to step into danger rather than letting his siblings go into trouble alone especially in the original show he was the first one to interact with the dangerous entity. He's the best brother ever and I will gladly die on this hill. I've fought for this boy for a majority of my childhood and will continue to do so for the rest of my days.

All my life I've loved cartoons. I consider Animaniacs, both the reboot and the original, one of my favorite cartoons. The original left a huge creative impact on my life with me creating my first self insert OC with my rabbit Lizzy. Ever since I was a kid I've always considered Yakko to be the best of all my cartoon husbandos. He's the one that I love the most and no matter what that will never change. I'll always love my factual intellectual boi that got me through elementary school.

#animaniacs #cartoon husbandos #yakko warner #favorite charcters #comfort husbandos

11 notes · View notes

papermoonloveslucy · 3 years ago

Text

REMINISCING

August 14, 1977

By Frank Swertlow, Chicago Daily News

BEVERLY HILLS - During the first years of television, Ed Wynn, the radio and stage comic, was trying to break into television with a half-hour comedy on CBS. (1)

One night, he invited a couple of second echelon performers to make an appearance: a comedienne, known as "Technicolor Tessie" for her blazing red hair, and a song-and-dance man, best remembered for hollering "babalu."

Lucille Ball and Desi Arnaz were the couple, and they, like Wynn, were sampling the waters of the new medium. CBS had asked Miss Ball and her conga-drum pounding husband to develop a comedy show for television. Later, after months of thought and testing their ideas on the vaudeville circuit, the couple came up with "I Love Lucy," the misadventures of Lucy and Ricky Riccardo. (2)

It made its debut on CBS in October 1951. More than a quarter of a century afterwards, "I Love Lucy" easily can vie for the honor of television's most successful show. It was the archtype [sp] domestic comedy, the bumbling husband and his daffy wife. It gave birth to two other Lucy shows, a host of specials and a giant production company, Desilu.

"We spent months thinking about what we should do," Miss Ball recalled. "We didn't want to be the average Hollywood couple. Nobody would think you had any problems if you had a car and swimming pool and a nice house.

"Ultimately, we wanted a show in which people could identify with us. Everybody could understand what it was like to struggle for a buck. I was an ordinary, everyday, middle class housewife. I wore the same dress often. My husband worked and tolerated my mistakes. It was something that everyone could identify with."

With the debut of the TV series, Lucille Ball, the former Goldwyn girl who started her film career in the 1930s, had a new career.

"I never expected the show to go more than a year," said Miss Ball. "I wanted to do the show on film so I could use them as home movies. Who knew about television then? It was a no-no to do TV work. The movie studios were against it."

To Miss Ball, who was not a new face to the public, the impact of her show was incredible. "We went to New York on a trip once and we were unprepared for what happened. People rushed up and wanted to touch you. They knew you, and called you by your first name. I had been in pictures for years, and most of the time I was never identified."

If the movers and shakers of the film industry who gave Miss Ball her start during the 1930s were alive, they would have been shocked. To them, simply and kindly, Lucille Ball was a B-movie queen, one of the many second-line actresses who never attained star billing, but who was an important ingredient to the motion picture industry.

Unlike many performers who labored under the cruel studio system, Miss Ball fondly remembered her early years in Hollywood. "It was nice to be under the umbrella of a studio. You always had a poppa. I loved it. I loved being part of the business. I would have swept floors just to be in it."

Miss Ball, however, did not forget the tactics of the brutal and disgusting lords of movieland. Harry "King" Cohn, the ruler of Columbia Pictures, stood out. "He made the biggest dent in everybody. He was ruthless. He always had to take a devious route." (3)

Miss Ball, who is not exactly a pushover, laughingly recalled the time she outwitted the sly Cohn.

Miss Ball had received an offer to work in a Cecil B. DeMille film, but Cohn refused to loan her to the producer. He was being mean. Then, Cohn decided to drop her contract. To do it, he sent the actress a horrible script something that the trade called a lease breaker. "Oh, everybody was dying to play opposite John Agar and Raymond Burr," she recalled jokingly. "I was going to be a harum [sp] girl." Naturally, Cohn expected her to refuse and it would be the end of her contract. (4)

The savvy Miss Ball decided to do the film and collect her check. When she made this announcement there was an uproar. She coyly told her bosses: "Oh, I want to do the film. It's a wonderful film."

Meanwhile, Miss Ball, who had been trying to get pregnant for years, found out she was going to have a baby. Now, she was in trouble. If Cohn found out, he would break her contract. "I only told my mother and my husband I was pregnant."

Keeping her lips sealed, she went ahead with Cohn's film. "The wardrobe girl kept looking at me in my harum [sp] girl costume and saying, 'What's wrong with you, you are getting so big.' "So, I told her, 'Don't worry, I ate a big meal last night. Just put a little more taffeta on my dress.' Well, I finished the film and I collected my $85,000."

"Then I had to go to Mr. DeMille and tell him I couldn't do his film. I was pregnant. 'What,' he said. And I replied. 'I'm going to have a baby. 'Get rid of it,' he said. And he was serious.' She declined. (5)

While Miss Ball's career as a TV star is secure (she still has a contract with CBS) (6) she is not so certain about the state of the industry. Today, unlike when she started on the air, shows are yanked off the screen within a couple of weeks. This, she said, destroys performers.

"If a show is canceled, the actor takes the blame. He or she suffers for it. They suffer inside. The rejection - they failed. (7)

"I would fail. You can't protect yourself. It's out of your hands. It's always Lucy failed or Rhoda failed or Farrah Sauset Fawcett Sauset, whatever her name is, failed. It's rough." (8)

Even so, Lucille Ball, the red-haired girl from Jamestown, N.Y., would still be on top.

# # #

FOOTNOTES FROM THE FUTURE

(1) Ed Wynn (1886-1966) was a vaudevillian who hosted “The Ed Wynn Show” on television from 1949 to 1950. Lucy and Desi guest-starred on the show.

(2) ‘Riccardo’ is probably a misspelling of ‘Ricardo’, but it was also the way their surname was spelled on “I Love Lucy” in early episodes!

(3) Harry Cohn (1891-1958) was a much-despised executive at Columbia Studios. Lucille Ball once facetiously told Louella Parsons that she liked Harry Cohn too much to ever sign a contract with him. What Lucille meant is that Cohn had a reputation for being difficult. Despite that fact, a casting draught forced her to sign with Columbia in 1949.

(4) Lucille Ball had often complained to Cohn about the quality of the pictures she had been doing at Columbia. At the time The Magic Carpet was made, Ball was only obligated to Columbia for one more film, and Cohn had producer Sam Katzman, who turned out most of Columbia's low-budget "B" pictures, concoct a cheap Arabian Nights fantasy as a punishment to Ball for her constantly challenging him. More salacious writers insist that Cohn’s frustration with Ball was due to the fact that she would not submit to him sexually.

(5) The DeMille film in question was The Greatest Show on Earth, a movie set at the Ringling Brothers Barnum and Bailey circus. Lucille was set to play the elephant trainer, a role that went to Gloria Graham. It was a film Lucille really wanted to do - but she wanted a baby more. Later in life, Desilu created a TV version of the film. Lucille also guest-starred as the ringmaster on “Circus of the Stars II” in which Lucie Arnaz was featured as.... the elephant trainer!

(6) Lucille Ball had started working at CBS on radio and was considered their premiere star. In 1980, after her television shows had ended, she signed with NBC, a partnership that yielded very little except that Ball was obliged to appear on Bob Hope’s many specials, something she frequently did anyway. Both CBS and NBC declined her final series “Life With Lucy” which producer Aaron Spelling finally convinced ABC to air.

(7) Although this article was written ten years before “Life With Lucy”, Lucille could very well be describing her own devastation when the series was cancelled even before all the initial episodes aired. She was widely criticized and the series often turned up on “worst show” lists.

(8) Rhoda refers to a character on “The Mary Tyler Moore Show” that was played by Valerie Harper, a performer that appeared on Broadway with Lucille. In 1974, the character was spun off into its own eponymous sitcom which aired for four seasons.

Farrah Fawcett-Majors was a beautiful blonde actress and poster girl that burst onto the TV scene in the mid-1970s. A year after this interview, she was in the hit series “Charlie’s Angels” entering American iconography for her feathered hair and curvaceous figure the same way Betty Grable had in the 1940s.

#Lucille Ball #Valerie Harper #Harry Cohn #Farrah Fawcett #The Greatest Show on Earth #Life With Lucy #Cecil B. DeMille #The Magic Carpet #Lucie Arnaz #Gloria Graham #Desi Arnaz #Ed Wynn #1977 #Frank Swertlow

7 notes · View notes

zhuhongs · 4 years ago

Text

Upon rereading tgcf, one of the biggest complaints I have is how lackluster all the extra chapters were. literally none of them were good and all contained rlly gross and harmful sentiments (like the amnesia one which.. yea.. or all the things implying xl should get pregnant for hc thus equating gay relationships with hetero ones and playing into the wife thing and just GOD I HATE MXTX)

There were a lot of little plot points i wish that had been further elaborated on more in the extras as opposed to hualian being ... like that. I had enough. Like mdzs had actaully good extras (minus the incense burners) that were nice side stories that elaborated more on the characters. Like the hook one with the juniors was so cute and i loved seeing them grow more. Or the lotus pod extras omg.. im such a lotus pod extra stan. those were so cute and gave us a lot of good insight into just how lovestruck lwj was during the times when he didn’t see wwx. mxtx should've stuck to those sorta extras in tgcf but NOOO. SO I have a list of so many other more interesting things those chapters couldve been spent on like:

A resolution on He Xuan’s revenge and his character arc. Bc its implied He Xuan is still hanging out and watching over sqx and that taking revenge didn’t fully satisfy him bc ok.. yea shi wudu is dead but he xuans family will never come back. Now what does he have to live for?? i wish we couldve seen a look into his life during the entire ordeal. like a chapter from his perspective while he was posing as Ming Yi and maybe a look at a conversation btw he xuan and the real ming yi or a chapter after SQX was banished to see what he’s doing now. Also what did he xuan owe hua cheng money for anyways?? Like ik not every little thing has to be explained but I Want to Know. PLEASE more goth boyfriend content now I just wanna see him :,((

a better resolution of yin yu and quan yizhens storyline. im still mad abt how that plot point was split btw books 3 and 5 when it was rlly out of place and there were other more pressing plot matters and it just rlly deserved more time. Also i thought yin yu died!?!?!? but apparently one of the extras says he’s alive and man... i;m not reading any more of the extras to see that, give me a full yin yu and quan yizhen chapter.. fuck.

a day in the life of the guoshi fangxin or general hua PLEASE especially like one where hua cheng was SO CLOSE to meeting xie lian but had no clue that xie lian was there at the time but the two did smth that inadvertantly helped the other and they still were connected even though they hadnt met omg pls that’d be so nice. like imagine Hua cheng catching a glimpse of the guoshi in public in yong’an while he’s trying to follow some lead that points to xie lian or maybe following a lead to capture qi rong bc he said he knew qi rong was a part of the yong’an stuff and originally thought the guoshi was one of qi rongs pawns. like can you IMAGINE him getting so close. but at the last second he did smth small that impacted xie lian. like they bumped into eachother on the street or smth. god i’d go crazy

OR vice versa.. like a day in the life of the young ghost king hua cheng. Like again, one of my biggest issues was that hua cheng just knew everything and its never really explained how he got all of that info. like yes he’s been alive very long and has eyes and ppl working for him everywhere but like... how did he build that network?? I’d love to see a chapter of young ghost king hua cheng travelling around trying to learn as much as he can abt the world and how it can help bring him to xie lian. and the two maybe are in the same kingdom for a bit and they don’t meet exactly but hua cheng stops some fight or something and helps xie lian indirectly or maybe xie lian is performing on the street in some costume and hua cheng doesn’t recognize him and smiles and gives him a coin or smth. idk i’m just dying for any sorta extra chapter or fic like that. i’m honestly so tempted to write my own but i cant write

also!! we’ve seen how xie lian picks up people down on their luck near him and show them kindness (like banyue, lang ying, xiao ying, he tried to with san lang but we know how that ended lmao) so i’d love to see another little vignette of him doing that on his travels and how every person he meets teaches him smth about life and being a good person and idk, i just think it’d be rlly sweet. i love this facet of his character and feel like we didn’t see enough of it towards the end.

ALSO hua cheng only seems to respect one heavenly official besides xie lian and thats yushi huang.. i assume thats mostly bc she was the only one to help xie lian and let him use the rain master hat to bring water to yong’an. I was thinking maybe when he was a new supreme he had run into trouble and maybe was picked up by the rain master and helped him heal and in return he promised to help protect her village from harm in the future. Like i know a heavenly official wouldn’t cooperate with a ghost like that but yushi huang is different and doesn’t really care about the heavens so i think she would protect him if he could do something to benefit her village. ik this is kinda far fetched but when he first became a supreme I’m sure a bunch of ppl probably tried to mess with him and didn’t rlly believe him to be undefeatable bc he hadn’t proved himself yet also i doubt all his power came overnight. he had to learn how to use it once he escaped the kiln. and some group probably thought they could weaken him somehow. I’m thinking maybe a rlly well formed group of ghosts actually caught him off guard once and he had to retreat and was picked up by the rain master and stayed with her and learned from her a bit. i think it’d be a cool concept also i just rlly want more yushi huang content and i’m on their friendship agenda bc he rlly did seem to actually respect her when she first appeared and i think it’d be cool if the two had some history together.

Also idrc if this was addressed I couldve missed it But!! Did xie lian ever tell Hua cheng that the reason he got the curse shackles and was banished again in the first place wasnt bc jun wu wanted to punish him, but because he requested it. And specifically requested it bc he felt guilty abt letting wu ming take the human face disease and disperse for his sake. So he took the shackles and descended to atone for that?? Bc I dont recall hua cheng learning that bc his soul was already dispersed at that point so it didnt follow him and xie lian didnt say anything so uhhh... someone should tell hua cheng that. Like I dont think xie lian rlly said how much hua cheng meant to him and didnt show him he was loved in grand ways. Like xie lian did always care for bc in other ways but I think if hua cheng learned abt this on screen it wouldve been such a great moment and I'm rlly surprised mxtx didnt address this iirc!?!? Like imagine jun wu telling Hua cheng this in the kiln bc xie lian wouldnt say it himself. Imagine how cool that would be.

Also a small thing adding into the whole young ghost king Hua cheng stuff. Its implied and p much stated that hua cheng isnt his real name. That he likely doesnt have a real name bc his parents died? (It's not clear. I'm still mad at mxtx for not making his childhood clearer). So I'd like to see when and why hua cheng chose that name for himself. The new tgcf ending song kinda hints at its meaning with the lyrics "for you I'd fill a city of flowers" as xie lian is the flower wielding martial god so it's probably inspired by that. Also xie lian saved hua cheng from leaping off the city walls but I'd love to hear him say it bc the implication of his name didnt dawn on me for quite a bit and I dont know if everyone made the connection. Again I sure as hell didnt. So itd be cool to see a chapter that takes place in his past after just ascending as a supreme

Overall I rlly think tgcf had a lot more potential to be even better and a lot of that comes down to fleshing out the side characters and letting hualian have more of a storyline independent of one another. like i know the appeal and message of tgcf is that through love, people can overcome anything, but fuck man. i just wanna see what these two (mostly hua cheng) where like in the absence of each others presence. Part of what I really liked abt mdzs is that we got to see that longing develop btw wangxian when the two weren’t together and how they thought about each other and did things in thei others spirit bc they knew the other wouldve done the same thing. but whatever, mxtx was too consumed by her own unhealthy idea of what devotion and true love looks like but still. i rlly think the extras couldve helped the story be better rather than be fujoshi fuel that i try to bleach from my mind -_-

#tgcf #🐌.txt #long post #text heavy #god its 1am im queuing this for the daytime bc i need yall to read this and scream with me bc these wouldve been such better extra chapters #oh fuck this is 1.3k words ajfaskjfklasfjksd #i should just write my own extras at this point now.. fuck mxtx

42 notes · View notes