#this some magnum opus level shit

[the-acid-pear]

Deltarune Theory: Spamton, The Player & Freedom

As some of you might know by my occassional ramblings and the fact that i post 10 pics of the guy per day bc of my 100+ queue I've been a little unwell about Spamton and Deltarune as a whole lately, and recently while trying to ramble about a different topic I realized something:

I think we, the player, the soul, are a bigger part of this game that we are giving credit for.

After all, what are some of the main themes of Deltarune? Lack of freedom, lack of control, how your choices don't matter... And if we look on a smaller scale, if we look at characters like Kris and Spamton you can also add to the mix a certain level of disconnect with your own body, but maybe i'm going too off topic there... (maybe?)

This is to say, don't you think these things apply quite well to the soul, to us, too? Sure, we control Kris, but Kris is free of ripping us out temporarily and often adds their own input to the things we ask them to say (and even says things on their own), not to mention how they get around to avoid doing what we asked or avoid revealing certain information to us.

On top of that, there's our vessel. The body we were meant to have and freely use, that was, in theory, discarded. And i think this is very imporant because many pick up on Kris being trapped with us, but not as much on us being trapped with KRIS. What we have is an uneassy alliance, a sort of symbiotic relationship, we need one another to exist. But we still aren't free.

And this is where Spamton comes in, our EV3RY BUDDY 'S FAVORITE [[Number 1 Rated Salesman1997]] and number 1 freedom yearning puppet, who offers us the highly valued [Hyperlink Blocked] which he believes will carry one to freedom and such.

And it is true that freedom is something Kris might want, but don't forget Kris isn't the only one in control of their body. We too are the ones going straight back to that salesman and doing his little quest.

And this is even more true in the Weird Route, the route where we strip all control from Kris AND Noelle to the point she can only hear us talking, and it's the route where Spamton says at the end "IT’S YOU AND THAT [Hochi Mama]! YOU’VE BEEN [making], HAVEN’T YOU! YOU’VE BEEN MAKING [Hyperlink Blocked]!".

And if you, like me, believe the meaning of [Hyperlink Blocked] is LOVE, then this would make a lot of sense, after all, what were some of the biggest complaints people had about chapter 1 when it released?

Lack of multiple routes, namely a genocide one, and lack of control.

And Toby Fox, being the monkey paw ass guy he is, obligued to the fans request. You want control? You want murder? Okay, there you go.

Not only that, but the weird route is the only one where Spamton never learns Kris' name, only called them kid, making the fact that Kris has nothing to do with our insane rampage even more explicit.

And on top of everything, Spamton was right. We did in fact gain control and a certain level of freedom thanks to this, our choices, the player choices, now REALLY mattered. And the consequences were devastating, hell, even Spamton died here.

So, with all this said, I think my point has become clear. I think our role in the story is very significant, and it even perfectly ties with the themes and the existing characters.

Very excited to see this develop further as more chapters come out 😁

[devosin]

" 𝐒𝐓𝐑𝐀𝐖𝐁𝐄𝐑𝐑𝐘 𝐂𝐇𝐀𝐏𝐒𝐓𝐈𝐂𝐊 "

It wasn't the usual request, when you asked your partner to do your make-up . . but now you're here, while he tries his best to paint you like a canvas . . Ft. dorm leaders + ortho & grim

gender neutral reader / established relationship / some sections are suggestive / mean!vil(?!) / slightly self indulgent / squirmy / fidgety reader / semi-edited / proofread (I skimmed it over a couple times) / platonic for ortho & grim / confident!Idia(?) . . I got carried away / slightly rushed on some parts (Azul) /

a/n: new account who this? (old account is @/cupids-chambers)

"Ah— fuck", Leona mutters, clearly displeased, leaning closer into your face to inspect his mistake, carelessly he dragged his finger down the bottom of your lip, hoping to wipe away the remnants of his careless mistake.

"Happy now?", he asked, leaning back, crossing his arms as a shit-eating grin adorned his face, admiring the work of art he had created on your face, though he'd never quite admit how gorgeous you looked, right now—if he was an artist, you'd be his magnum opus—of course a brilliant art piece can only be made with an equally brilliant muse.

Your hand gently grazed over your face—Leona was surprisingly good at make-up, despite struggling in the beggining, you accidentally let a word of praise slip past your lips—which earns you a cocky chuckle from the man—"Told ya', I'm great at everything."

Vil's hand gripped your thigh, holding your legs still and in place—his other hand, gently lifted your chin, facing you towards him, your gaze meeting his—"Hold still for me dear", were the words he spoke, his tone firm and commanding.

You could smell the cologne he used from this level of closeness—and you're sure that if you leant a little closer and stuck your tongue out, you'd be able to taste it—The familiar and comforting, clean earthy-musk scent, you've gotten so accustomed too, the scent whic—"Y/n, darling—are you listening?"

When you don't respond, he clicks his tongue in annoyance, the grip on your thigh tightening in response, and you winced at the shift in demeanor, "Ah my apologies, I did tell you to hold still . . . did I not, my love?"

Malleus's hand grazed the side of your cheek, his movements gentle as he tilts your face towards his, your eyes finally making contact.

His gaze seemed so focused—so entirely enraptured by you—he noted all the details of your face, and engraved it in his brain—the curve of your nose, the plump soft flesh of your lips . . The way your pupils dilated upon eye contact—you were so perfect, tooth-rottenly sweet.

He gripped the liner in his free hand, eyeing your face curiously, "Ah—close your eyes for me, my dear—please?" . . He watched as you closed your eyes tightly, as if on instinct—'Dear seven why were you so fucking adorable?'

He chuckled softly, "This won't do—" he spoke casually, his thumb gently traced the bottom of your lips, "Relax my love, stop squirming . ."

"Rosebud, I don't think I was the right person to ask for help on something like this . . ", Riddle mumbles, as he runs the brush through your face with such accurate precision, although he seemed to be so very against the idea of doing your makeup, aware that he'd probably mess up . . Riddle still found himself agreeing to your request.

"Stop smiling this isn't funny", he spoke, his voice was gentle—although you could tell, he was trying to sound angrier, though he was failing miserably.

Riddle had done a great job, despite his various protests, he was practically straddling you, with how close he was right now, Riddle was asked to do something well, and he was committed . . . even if that meant being this close to you . . Something, he unsurprisingly, wasn't use to—or at least something he didn't personally initiate often.

Kalim giggled as he fiddled around with the makeup brush in his hands, he carefully tapped the extra product off the blush before gently gliding the brush over your face—he tried his best to not overdo the blush.

Kalim had made quite a few mistakes during this whole process, on account of his fidgety hands and general inability to remain still—"There, all done!", he announced proudly, as you examine his work—"You look gorgeous", he mumbled out unconsciously.

Though at your lack of response he grew a bit concerned, "Ah—I'm sorry, I probably took a lot of time . . Right?", he asked, his tone more apologetic, than proud . . until he noticed the shift in your demeaner—"Though—as they say—you can't rush perfection!" he joked, trying to lighten the air once more, thankfully it worked, as he watched the concern on your face morph into that of content.

Azul held the eye shadow palette up in the air, trying to figure out which shade would best suit the look he was going for, he had quite limited options . . not that you had a few eye shadow options, just that the pallets you had, had a limited shade range.

Azul dapped the brush into the navy eye shadow, "I'll use this as a base, if that's okay with you?" he asked for confirmation, and only proceeded after you nodded. "You know . . you could be a makeup artist . . I heard Vil's looking for a new on—" you spoke up with a smile, a teasing edge to your words that caused Azul to smile.

His fingers lightly tapped the side of your cheek, "No, this is just for you, all for you."

Idia was hunched over, in front of you, hand gripping the bottom of your chin, lifting you up to meet his gaze, "Could you like, part your lips for me?", he asked, gripping the lip liner in his other hand, "Yes, just like that" he grinned as you followed his demand, his thumb dragging just below your lip, pulling it just a bit more apart.

He dragged the liner carefully, following the outline of your lips, then grabbed the lip shade he had in mind, filling in your lips . . "Shit, got put too much on—" he paused, "let me just—", he leaned down, your lips meeting his for a soft, lingering kiss, "there . . perfect . ."

Ortho fiddled around with your lip options, fingers digging through your makeup bag, for something that could work. Well, you found out Ortho could match your makeup with colour theory, artificial intelligence and all. But what started as a harmless experiment, and fun activity, now had you glued to a chair for the past hour.

Ortho held up his lipstick of choice, "How about this one?" he asked curiously, and before you could respond Grim piped in, "Too dark, makes them look like a—", your glare cut him off, "never mind, it looks great! . . henchman looks amazing in everything!!"

@ devosin , do not repost, plagiarize, translate, or adapt my work/theme without prior permission and or confirmation.

[canmom]

So the Tie Fighter guy, Paul 'OtaKing' Johnson, dropped his latest magnum opus: this time, Alien in the same 80s-anime inspired style! Six years to make, which I can well believe looking at every frame of this.

I have mixed feelings about it as a film, but it's definitely worth a watch before you read my words below.

As ever, it's a retro pastiche fan film - this time a tribute to Alien. The animation is, as before, largely 2D-on-3D with a bit of 3D-roto assistance here and there - there's a process video from a couple years back here.

How do I even comment on something like this? The man is a shape rotator nonpareil, drawing complex perspective shots with an ease that makes me envious. At the same time... do you notice how the movement is just... kinda off throughout this film? So many shots feel too evenly spaced, lacking weight, or with odd unmotivated choices in the character acting. It seems churlish to make such a criticism when this guy is singlehandedly drawing animation at a level of detail that would be out of reach for most full-fledged studios, but it feels like the same problem as Umetsu's animation in Megazone 23 Part 2, where they pursued such a level of detail that nothing moved naturally. It's like this guy is some kinda animation minmax build.

Like Tie Fighter, it's a side story that leans heavily on the visual language of the original. It's not as heavily referential of anime shots this time - no Itano Circus or that one shot where the camera flies over the decks of a ship up to the bridge (where did that come from, Yamato?). But it's still got a lot of flashy rotating camerawork and unusual angles and complex character rotations.

Despite this technical complexity, though, there is little of the tension that suffused the original film. Here the alien is in plain sight throughout, somehow feeling more like a guy in a rubber suit than it did in the original movie. This is, I think, largely down to how it moves, and how much the camera wants you to see everything.

It's a tricky balance: on the one hand, the whole thrust of this short is to wow you with its drawings, so it really needs to show you just how shiny the alien is in Johnson's style. But Alien was very much a 'never fully show the monster' kind of movie, letting the alien blend into the dark mechanical environments of the Nostromo as a constant 'could be anywhere' menace. Here everything is brightly lit, the better to show off those delightful anime highlights, so you'll never miss the alien walking down a corridor.

It was also a much slower movie, with waves of 'worse shit happening' washing over you - the escalating ladder of tension and brief relief before the alien does something more fucked up. Here there's no mystery, we know the alien's life cycle already. So in the end this feels like something of a speedrun of the original's beats, to its detriment - when the MC decides to scuttle her ship, you don't get the same sense of a desperate last resort against a relentless enemy, such that destroying the ship is the only option. (In fact it seems rather like she could have escaped the alien once it was floating around in space near the ship...)

Creating a fan film like this, much like franchise media, is a pretty tricky problem! Devotion to the original is kind of its whole raison d'être, so it can't do anything that would really extend or contradict the canon, or really touch the canon characters. But it still wants to hit the images that people associate with Alien! So not!Ripley on the not!Nostromo confronts an alien, as if this is something of a regular occurrence. But the alien must not escape, or it would undercut the original movie. So it's like an echo; it can't mix up the formula.

I don't want to complain too much tho. It's not every day you get something like this drop. More just that I want to learn from it... that 80s shading style still has that power, flat colours and strong shapes beat all the gradients in the world. But if you neglect those animation principles... it won't save you!

[rakruined]

The Religious Implications of GotG vol. 3

So, it's Easter, and while I've got a lot of stuff to work on and things to do, I wanted to take the time to discuss the utterly insane things Guardians of the Galaxy volume three has done to my brain chemistry. After seeing @adamwarlock's post here, I've been thinking about just how many religious themes there seem to be in James Gunn's magnum opus. From a villain with a god complex to Rocket Raccoon becoming my new favorite satanic archetype maybe, this is gonna be a deep dive into everything I've picked up from the trailers so far.

So, let's start with the implications of that post I linked: "some corners of the galaxy consider (The High Evolutionary) God".

Now, the High Evolutionary has always had a theme of 'playing god' in the comics, what with his whole deal being creating sentient life from animal experiments, but in the MCU, his connections to Christian notions of religion are a lot more fascinating. For starters, his goal is stated to be wanting to create a "perfect society", which you'll notice looks a lot like suburban Bible Belt America, albeit with a lot more hybrid animal-people.

Now, in the comics, he uses Earth animals as a basis for his new lifeforms because he was once a normal human named Herbert Wyndham. He eventually traveled into space to continue his experiments on his own world, later adopting Adam Warlock (this will come back later). Given his desire to make himself more powerful in the movie, this makes him an interesting counterpart to MCU!Peter Quill, who was born with Celestial (ie. godly) power and left Earth not by choice.

Now, there are a few things they changed from the comics, his connection to Rocket being the most significant in the context of this story. While Halfworld performed similar experiments on Rocket and the other uplifts, the H.E had nothing to do with the planet. And while I'll get back to why his connection to Rocket is significant, as well as what I said about Adam, I want to get into another major change: his design.

Here we have the comics design on the left and the movie design on the right. But isn't his movie look almost priestly? Almost... familiar...?

IT'S FUCKMOTHERING ENRICO PUCCI WITH THE STEEL CHAIR

Okay, JoJo references aside, the High Evolutionary's connections to Adam Warlock definitely add to the whole religious overtones. I mean, a guy who's considered God has a perfect creation literally named "Adam", trying to create a perfect world? This shit writes itself. But if you consider a few additional facts, this takes on a pretty wild meaning. For starters, Adam has been stated to be relatively naive and innocent, unknowledgeable of the universe.

But where this gets interesting is that, based on Rocket's absence from most group shots during what is clearly being billed as the midsection of the movie (spacesuits scene, that fight where they're all in orange, the team arriving on Halfworld) that he possibly is captured by Adam and brought back to his creator for additional experimentation. Shots of someone implied to be Rocket on the operating table and Gamora carrying him to the ship half-naked serve as further evidence of a rescue mission.

But if he's captured by Adam Warlock, that means he has the opportunity to tell Adam what his creator is really planning. He has the chance to tell him how he was made and what the High Evolutionary's "perfect society" is built upon: the blood of innocent creatures he'd deemed imperfect. This could be what changes Adam, what makes him turn against his god and his Garden of Eden.

The voice of the devil on his shoulder.

Edit: I forgot to mention this wild coincidence! Gunn once said Rocket was inspired by Frankenstein's monster. It makes sense on the basic level of a tragic science experiment abandoned by his creator, but it gets even more bizarre. In the novel, the monster identifies with Satan in the book Paradise Lost, making him the same sort of tragic figure as Lucifer. Rocket too was an imperfect creation cast out by the "god" who made him. In this light, it's undeniable that yes, Rocket Raccoon is as much a satan figure as Adam Warlock is space Jesus.

[mapsofnonexistentplaces]

might be a bizarre question but do you happen to know any prog rock songs with lyrics or imagery around alchemy esp things like the magnum opus/philosphers stone/etc

most blatant one i can think of tool's lateralus, has some imagery surrounding the 4 alchemical colors and some hermetic sayings.... very surface level but still cool

iirc rush had an album that touched on that shit lightly but i havent listened to it in a while so no clue how prudent it is.... ok yeah it was their latest one. clockwork angels

this ones more just ambiguously "mystical" than strictly alchemical but tmv's amputechture scratches the same itch that alchemy does in my brain. goes over a lot of transformation talk. kglw's polygondwanaland feels similarly paralleled to alchemy

not overly proggy also but i remember listening to a few songs off cursive's vitriola and that one applies themewise i think? i remember just pogging at seeing the green lion on the album cover at least lol

i feel theres theres something else very obvious escaping my mind.... ah well ill toss it over if i remember

[thisisnotthenerd]

thought it would be good to create a place where i can find all of my works without having to extensively search my tumblr. also a way for me to see if i can summarize how my writing has changed over the course of six years.

also: hi! i'm thisisnotthenerd. i came to fandom around 2016 and i've been writing fanfic since ~2018. recently i've gotten into data analysis and meta for dimension 20, so you'll probably see a bunch of that from me. to see some of my work, click through this post!

FANWORKS:

FMA:B

Edward's New Groove: crackfic where Ed gets genderbent after the Promised Day and immediately gets thrown into solving another mystery about Xerxes. discontinued, though i may go back to rewrite and update when i have the energy.

The Alchemist's New Groove: the promised rewrite of Edward's New Groove.

A:TLA

The Spirit-Touched Series: AU where Raava isn't the only Great Spirit to take on a vessel. focused on the Gaang and their adventures as a troop of living spirits.

MDZS/The Untamed

Unconcerned With Worldly Pursuits: Lan Wangji decides to start acting like Wei Wuxian after his death as a memorial. Chaos ensues. Comes with an author-read podfic.

Dimension 20

bands of iron, bands of gold: Elody's perspective on Gerard's disappearance and what she saw of the TPK in the original Neverafter

bigger and better things: an exploration of the bad kids as children and what it means to be destined for greatness

thisisnotthenerd's d20 stats: a statistics series that i started after i finished watching every season of dimension 20 (at the time this was during mentopolis, and i've kept up live since then) that catalogs a wide variety, from episode runtimes, to level progressions, to character ages, and more. you can check out the #thisisnotthenerd's d20 stats tag here on tumblr, or look at my magnum opus of a spreadsheet.

Songs of the Celestine: a gift for Finn (@shakespearestolemyurl) for the 2023 D20 Gift Exchange that became an original song with lots of academic/theoretical scaffolding. another fic that includes recordings, this time of the song.

Musings on the Solisian School District: my thoughts on the structure of the Aguefort Adventuring Academy as we come back to school for Fantasy High Junior Year. lots of theories on leveling and how the quest system works.

the perils of xp leveling: a subseries to Musings on the Solisian School District, which considers the difference between milestone and xp leveling in fantasy high, using the bad kids and the rat grinders as case studies.

the Polls: I've done a fair few of these, so check out the tags to see the winners: #level 20 battle royale, #ultimate d20 class fight, #battle episode of all time, and most recently, who has their shit together?

the d20 episode randomizer: what its says on the tin. if you can't decide on what episode of d20 to watch, pick one with the click of a button. also includes options for alphabetical, chronological, and other cursed sorting methods for watching.

Critical Role:

Divinity in the Face of Calamity: post-Apogee Solstice flash fics that incorporate mechanics into the storytelling. some have specific word counts, some don't.

smaller AUs: this is stuff I've considered but haven't made into full fledged fics of their own yet: the bell's hells leverage au and the cr regency au.

[beatthegame]

I just beat Red Dead Redemption 2! Originally released on the PS4 but played on a PS5. Published by Rockstar Games, who would be best known for bringing the Grand Theft Auto series to life. Amongst many other hits throughout the years. Red Dead Redemption is simply considered the "spaghetti western grand theft auto". And of course the first Red Dead Redemption would be a hit. But after a few years of putting out constant bangers in the video game market. Rockstar may have dropped their magnum opus with Read Dead Redemption 2. Allow me to share my thoughts...

In a nutshell: Yeah, it's the spaghetti western version of Grand Theft Auto. But that's such an understatement. Red Dead Redemption 2 is an epic tale following a group of outlaws on the run. Fighting for survival, pulling off heists and scams while running from the law and surviving in America during the cusp of the industrial revolution. It's a colorful group of misfits led by the flamboyant Dutch Van Der Linde. At first you control Arthur Morgan. Dutch's wingman, for lack of a better word. But the game pulls you through just about every Western movie trope in existence. Immersed in several unique experiences and insane characters only Rockstar can come up with. Whether you like to shoot up cowboys, rob banks and trains, go horseback riding or go out hunting and fishing in the wilderness? This game has it all!

The Good: Fuck! This game is GOOD. In all caps! Visually stunning in so many ways. I previously thought Zelda: Breath of the Wild had some of the most gorgeous open world visuals in gaming. But Read Dead Redemption 2 is on another level. The whole game plays like a cutscene. The stellar graphics and environment details are impeccable. I wish I could post more than 10 screenshots  but you're better off playing the game yourself. Pretty graphics are one benefit. But when you mix that with a solid gameplay experience with seamless load times. This game is just a joy to play. But this isn't a typical cowboy game. You have a lot of options going on. And it's all executed in the best way possible. From gunfights, to horse racing, to stealth missions, to gambling. You can hunt, fish, pick plants and herbs to cook and camp. You have the freedom to do it all in the most aesthetically pleasing way possible by today's technological standards. Personally, I enjoyed the Texas Hold Em and Domino mini-games BETTER than a lot of the solo release games out there. Complete with shit-talking banter that cowboys make up during poker games. I will most likely keep playing RDR2 just for the hold 'em simulator. It's better than that shitty World Series of Poker game. But I digress... Although this is based in a fictional world, there were a lot of American historical elements that made it feel authentic, without it feeling too goofy like Saints Row or Fallout 76. Yes, this game is fantastic! But now, let's get a little bit nasty...

The Bad: I'm struggling to find the faults in this game. Like, I can't exactly call this game perfect? But it's pretty damn close. There were times where I found my self struggling with the controls. Seamlessly transitioning from a horse chase, to a physical brawl, to a shootout could be jarring from one point to another. Especially during a panic situation. But it was mostly balanced throughout. Allowing to start at certain save points alleviated some of the frustration. Although some players would consider that nerfed gameplay? Also, I heard from other folks complaining about the consistent traveling between missions? Which is admittedly HUGE distances at times. It feels like a horseback simulator. But you have options between fast travel, or riding along a brief horse & carraige cutscene, or ramble on in "theatrical mode" which enables cool camera angles while you travel the wilderness. I like it because it allows ample time for smoke/snack breaks between missions. The scenery is gorgeous and worth just sitting back and appreciating the atmosphere. I'm sure there are dudes out there who couldn't care less about ambiance and need that constant dopamine drip. But don't get it twisted. You'll frequently have run ins with rival bandits, or law enforcement, or a pack of wolves, or cocaine bear when you'd least expect it. So you're always on alert. Take that as a good or bad thing? But there's honestly not a whole lot of bad to play with in this game. Except for Micah. He's BAD! LOL! Fuck that guy. But every story needs a good villain, right?

Overall: Red Dead Redemption 2 is a masterpiece. It's a culmination of all the great things about prevous Grand Theft Auto games plus everything that was great about the prevous Red Dead Redemption games multiplied by a thousand. I also appreciate a game that keeps the party going after you beat the game. Replay value is important these days. And you definetly get your money's worth with RDR2. With a robust online mode, along with the countless side quests this game has to offer. Beating the story mode was just the tip of the iceberg. I'll still be playing this game in between all the other titles I encounter. This is a virtual world I don't mind coming back to. And that says a lot. This game is Sunset Riders on crack. This game is like a Sergio Leone wet dream. By far, the best western game ever. Believe the hype. Red Dead Redemption 2 rules!

S-Class

[bigsusreview]

Why Do You Love Me Satan? - Review #6

i love sharing random obscure shit

this is by a band called Fucking Werewolf Asso. they are a band from Sweden. this record is putrid and absolutely amazing at the same time and i honestly don't even know what genre to define it as. punk rock is probably the closest match. at only 31 minutes in length, this release flies by in what feels like seconds. but man, those are some memorable seconds.

Cri Du Chat is a (mostly) instrumental introduction, allowing you to get a good feel for how the rest of this album is gonna sound. pretty standard stuff. My New Sneakers Could Never Replace My Multi-Colored Bangalores then continues with a massive breakdown beat and some of the most in-your-face, abhorrent screaming and singing i have ever heard. but there's a level of cohesion and understanding to the madness. this band really knows what they're doing and have already shown that with just the second track. The Tito Beltrán Massacre has a much more punk-friendly sound with some 8-bit-inspired synths added into the mix, reminiscent of some sorta old Nintendo game (hence why this band is usually referred to as "Nintendocore," but i hate that phrase). Alphonse Laurencic starts out with the now typical whiny scream-singing until exploding into a massive wall of sound. if the band hadn't shown you that they're worth your ears just yet, they have now.

the biggest highlight to me, though, is the 5-minute Your Ex Doesn't Mark Treasures. it's the longest piece on this record by far, with every other song having an average runtime of around 2 to 3 minutes. it closes out everything perfectly, feeling like the band's true magnum opus. if nothing connected beforehand, this one will. it's probably the easiest song to listen to by them and it really shows. it also features a different vocalist sometimes, which can help keep it grounded for the more serious tone it sets.

as mentioned before, the main vocalist sounds like shit. it may be on purpose, but i can definitely understand why that would turn some people off. having an open mind is a pretty necessary part to enjoying this album because it sounds like this band wants to rip your face off as soon as possible and then eat it. but hey, that's the main appeal in my opinion so there's a really good chance this one's not for everybody and that's alright too.

i hope you liked my little show and tell. this album has become a favorite of mine, reminding me a lot of MCR's debut if it was more unhinged with the vocals and tighter with the instrumental. there's a clear influence of all things punk and old VGM on this record, which is a hard combination to nail as well as it does here.

favorite tracks:

Your Ex Doesn't Mark Treasures

Alphonse Laurencic

everything else (it's all very consistently great)

overall score: fucking werewolf ass out of 10

also i think one of the guys from this band made Hotline Miami? that's some pretty fun trivia. it does make a lot of sense though. i swear scandinavian people are some of the most insane individuals alive.

[gerogerigaogaigar]

Merle Haggard - Down Every Road 1962-1994

I've spent four consecutive hours on Merle Haggard now. This is basically the mans entire career it's a lot to take in and I just don't understand why there are so many compilations on this list. Early Merle Haggard is great, some of the singing cowboy croon but with a bit of edge, and stark lyrics about his real life growing up at the end of the depression, living as a vagrant and being in and out of jail. It's the original outlaw country and it's fantastic. Unfortunately Haggard had a major hit with the song Okee From Muskogee, a conservative anti hippie pro Vietnam war anthem. The question of whether he meant the song as satire or not is a debate that ultimately does not matter because, while a lot of left wingers including Phil Ochs found the song funny, it still became a republican anthem that got Haggard the attention of Nixon. The rest of his career is marked by a combination of reactionary politics and occasionally very interesting instrumentation. The inclusion of more and more elements of jazz, blues, and bluegrass throughout the 70s was neat, but he just fades back into blandness as his career rolls to a stop. I'll recommend this comp up until you hit Okee From Muskogee then just stop.

Donna Summer - Bad Girls

This isn't just Donna Summer's magnum opus, it's disco's as well. The combination of Donna Summer and Giorgio Moroder were unstoppable when it came to producing the best music in the world. This double album absolutely makes the most of its length bringing us extended disco grooves, a bit of rock influence and some soul numbers, plus Moroder's deliciously goopy synths. It's the most variety of any disco record I've listened to. Just listen to this one. Bad Girls my favorite disco album and prolly just one of my favorite albums period. This might be the first album that I think is exactly where it belongs on this list.

Frank Sinatra - In The Wee Small Hours

If you gotta get really dramatic about your divorce then this is the way to do it. I'm typically more a fan of swingin' Franky than crooning Franky but this album is so dramatic I gotta respect. The perfect collection of songs about love and loss are matched by Sinatra's overly syrupy voice and the amazing orchestral jazz arrangements of Nelson Riddle. Sometimes personal and sultry and other time large and dramatic. It's a fantastic collection of ballads from the great American songbook.

Harry Nilsson - Nilsson Schmilsson

Harry Nilsson was an artist who didn't really ever find his audience, if there was ever one to find. His only hits being covers and the terribly racist Coconut which is unfortunately featured here. In the world of 70s adult contemporary there were two types of sound, folk rock and art pop. Nilsson is the latter with dynamic arrangement and a sense for rock flair. The music itself works really well most of the time, but lyrically he can't decide whether he wants to be somber and morose or deeply unserious and goofy. If you don't mind the whiplash then it's mostly enjoyable, but I can't reconcile a piece of shit like Coconut with a masterpiece like Jump Into The Fire.

50 Cent - Get Rich Or Die Tryin'

It is impossible for me to take 50 Cent's ridiculous persona seriously. Just cause he got shot doesn't make this any less an act of kayfabe. I cannot get into his stupid fucking bravado at all. I don't know why, I tolerate a lot of campy bullshit from all kinds of artists, but 50 Cent is apparently my limit. Every word out of his mouth is the most ridiculous claim you have ever heard, from the people he's killed, to his sexual prowess, to the level of respect he commands. Plus his integration of melodic elements into the beats and hooks are really lazy. His hard ass persona and sing song hooks are so at odds with each other. The production kinda blows too, but the inconsistency is less 50 Cents fault than the trend in hip hop at the time of having a different producer for every song.

Nirvana - MTV Unplugged In New York

This concert is a great snapshot of Nirvana at their peak. It is nearly devoid of hits. The most popular song they play is Come As You Are and the rest is deep cuts and covers. The covers are honestly the focal point of the album. The Vaselines Jesus Doesn't Want Me For A Sunbeam, David Bowie's Man Who Sold The World, three Meat Puppets songs in a row, and it closes on a version of the folk song Where Did You Sleep Last Night. The Bowie cover is probably the most famous, but my god does Cobain nail the vocal delivery on Lake Of Fire and Where Did You Sleep Last Night especially. There may not be any cryptic suicide note to uncover here, but you can tell he was a tortured soul.

Led Zeppelin - Houses Of The Holy

I like Zeppelin best when they are experimenting. Houses Of The Holy definitely sees them experimenting, although just fucking around might sometimes be more accurate. The album mostly consists of some of their best work. The Song Remains The Same, The Rain Song, and Over The Hills And Far Away are truly amazing. However we also have to contend with the mess that is D'yer Make'r, a pathetic attempt at a reggae song, and whatever the fuck The Crunge is supposed to be. It's only two shit songs, but on an eight song album that's a quarter of the runtime.

Alicia Keys - The Diary Of Alicia Keys

I can't in good conscience say that Alicia Keys is a bad musician, but if there was a factory default setting for neo soul singers it would be her. She never really reaches beyond the confines of 'I need a good man' balladry and she doesn't do it as well as most of her contemporaries.

Radiohead - The Bends

The entire Radiohead catalogue is a parade of angst ridden melancholy, but The Bends is more alt rock and more grounded than the rest. While the 90s were a hotbed of aimlessly dramatic alternative rock sad sacks, Radiohead brought this air of hopelessness that really just makes you feel bad. I don't think I'm selling this album very well. It's good, really good. Thom Yorke is very good at going from a whisper to a wail to a falsetto all in one verse, and Greenwoods guitars have an atmospheric quality that just drowns you. While their next couple albums would ramp up the quality and experimentation to unprecedented levels, The Bends still set the benchmark for quality in a Radiohead album.

[jaijaitbinks]

"I'm just a guy who takes photos for fun"

Saitama is an anonymous photographer whose pictures are in a professional level. He simply sells them (at normal prize, for less than what they really cost) to a bussiness man who runs a photography gallery. This place holds photos from lots of different artists, but the public's favourite exhibition is always Saitama's. Genos is an amateur photographer and when he discovers Saitama's work, he decides that he needs to find that guy to improve himself. He first asks the man who buys the photos, but he won't reveal anything (because then, Saitama would become famous and he wouldn't get those high quality photos at such cheap prize). Genos surfes the internet, but nobody knows Saitama's identity, so he tried to investigate on his own. One day he wants to take a photo from a bridge, somehow stumbles and his camera almost falls into the water, but Saitama casually cathes it in the nick of time. They start talking and eventually become friends. Saitama gives Genos advices and tricks and sees that Genos is more skilled than he thinks.

Genos doesn't know who Saitama is until he goes to his apparment and sees all the pictures hanging and is like "OMG is you, I've been searching for you, you're my idol." Saitama begs Genos to not tell anyone and he finally agrees...but only if he takes Genos as disciple. Saitama accepts, resigned. Genos starts making a name for himself, but still thinks there's something missing: his main inspiration, his opus magnum. However, after spending one afternoon together, Genos wants to take a picture of the beautiful sunset. While he tries to find the perfect angle, the lens stops on Saitama (and Genos realizes the beauty of his sensei XD) "I'm sure someday you will find your muse, Genos." Genos looks through the camera, takes a picture without Saitama noticing and then stares, realizing he has already done it. I just made this because I liked the idea of Genos looking at his sensei as if he were a masterpiece.

OH. MY. FUCKING SHIT.

HOLY FUCK I LOVE THIS SO MUCH WHAT?????

I MIGHT BE DUMB BUT I WANNA KNOW IF YOU WANTED ME TO LIKE. WRITE A SCENE FOR THIS FOR THE SERIES I HAVE ON AO3 OR IF YOU WERE JUST SHARING, BUT EITHER WAY THIS IS LOVELY AND I'M GOING TO BE BRAINROTTING TF OUT OF THIS.

LIKE

Okay, maybe Genos does polaroid photography on the side as well? Like he takes professional photos to earn money and make a name for himself, and then the polaroid photos are a side thing he does just cuz he loves the aesthetic. Then, at some point, he tells Saitama this in passing or Saitama finds his polaroid camera and he tells him that.

Saitama suggests "Hey, maybe we could take a selfie with it then? I think that'd look nice in polaroid." And Genos is internally over the moon. He agrees to it, of course (but if anyone asked later on why he had a photo of him and some bald guy in his wallet, he'd say it's only because he was fulfilling his sensei's request and he didn't know where to put the picture afterwards cuz he didn't want to throw it out), and they take the photo together.

He puts it in his pocket to develop, and for a while, they go on with photography lessons, walking around abandoned streets and snapping pictures. ("There's photo potential everywhere, Genos," Saitama had said, "Even in the grimy ruins where there's no signs of life. The fact there's nothing and no one to touch this area anymore is beautiful." Genos looked on at him with admiration and awe.)

It's only when they end their little trip and he goes home that he remembers the polaroid, and promptly takes it out. And he does not know how to describe it to anyone else that wasn't himself that the small, soft, gorgeous, and enchanting smile he had the fortune of capturing in that white-framed photo was single-handedly the light in his dark room, the first bloom of spring, the Northern Lights from a mountain view. It's one of two things he would never give away.

Not even to that other thing—person. Not even to him, he wouldn't give the photo.

[oliviahallwriting]

Chapter 17

Over winter break, Laura had set her phone to “do not disturb”, preventing any notifications save from her roommates, in case Box was in trouble, and her engineering advisor, in case the school had found that she’d been trespassing on condemned property and threatened her degree. 

She’d remained on the campus proper for the entirety of the two weeks, only pausing from her conference preparations to take video calls from her parents on Christmas and New Years’. They’d been sad that she hadn’t been there, obviously, but it was worth it for the peace of mind. According to her advisor, important people were going to be in the audience at the conference, and, according to everyone else in the program, there were only a few graduate students who would have a public showcase.

Also indisputable was that her parachute was her magnum opus. Or at least, it had better be, based on the dozens of hours she’d put into it. And dozens more on adjacent work, such as training Box to demonstrate her invention. A difficult proposition for two reasons: one, that he didn’t recognize commands, and two, that the conference hall didn’t allow animals. To solve the first problem, she’d used treats. The second required several emails and a faked counselor’s note. It’d be worth it, though; Box was her ace in the hole. All things considered, it had been, undoubtedly, the most work-intensive winter break Laura had experienced. 

Now it was the first day of the spring semester and ten days before the conference. Laura had spent the rest of the afternoon in her lab to finish working on the materials. By the time a cold gust of air drew her attention from her desk, it was nine in the evening. The sky outside was now jet-black, contrasting the homogenous fluorescent lighting around her.

Opposite from the window, Box was laying down, back paws tucked under his belly, cardboard in his mouth. When Laura checked on him, she found him gently licking at a rock lodged in his front paw, seemingly more annoyed than pained from the incision.

“Sorry, buddy,” Laura muttered, and dislodged the rock with a wrench from her desk. As she expected, Box didn’t react much; he had thick skin and what a vet had called a “partial imperviousness to pain”. “We’re done for today, at least.”

Laura rested her coat over Box, who snuffled a bit before resting his snout on the ground, and closed the window. With it closed, the sound of the wind abruptly quieted, enough that she heard what had been a constant rattle coming from the ceiling.

Perhaps someone had unlocked the room upstairs, she thought, and frowned. If the building contractors pushed up the schedule, she’d have to finish her parachute in the house. And it wasn’t like she could do that without violating her renter’s lease, but neither could it be avoided if she wanted to be finished before the looming conference deadline. Of course, it was also possible that the rattling was nothing but a sign that winter winds were stronger than the decades-old building.

Laura roused Box from his nap, packed up a few of her notes, and jogged back to her house. When she arrived, she plopped on the beaten-up sofa in the sitting area, took out her phone, and re-enabled notification. Gone was the constant, low-level anxiety about how much work she still had to do; now she could afford to catch up on how her friends had enjoyed their breaks.

Her phone pinged with unread texts: one from that morning, from Kiyana; and seven from Tom over the course of the break.

Hey, can we talk? In person, as soon as you’re free this week?

Kiyana

Laura felt a little nervous and decided to read Tom’s texts before replying.

Jun's acting weird, he was at my dorm before I left. Maybe under RAIN? Kiyana too.

Tom

Shit, got some info. I think I know how RAIN works, at least. Needs an induction command and then orders, but it bypasses usual rules of consent for hypnosis. That’s the whole reason for it, I guess.

Tom

Oh, and my sister’s BF is the blond guy at the party. He might have—

Tom

Actually, never mind. I’ll tell you in person.

Tom

Happy holidays I guess? Christmas? Idk if you celebrate anything. 

Tom

The break’s over. I know you're on campus. Chat?

Tom

Sorry, dude, swamped. Couldn’t answer my phone.

Laura

Tom responded immediately.

Unbelievable. Do you know what’s going on?

Tom

The conference? My future? 

Laura

Just yours?

Tom

I know you and Kiyana are freaking out about this whole thing, but if it’s as bad as you think it is, what can we even do? Honestly I’d rather not worry about it. Too much for me to think about anyway.

Laura

You say that now. 

Tom

I do.

Laura

What happens when it’s someone you know?

Tom

That would suck, I guess.

Laura

When you realize they have to do whatever the leader of this whole operation wants? And who knows their values?

Tom

It would suck! I know! But I can’t afford the time. And honestly? Can you? Don’t you want to, I don’t know, maybe join some clubs? Hang out with Jun and your friends?

Laura

I mean, I can’t hang out with Jun. They messed with him. It isn’t the same.

Tom

So he acts weird. It’ll pass. They’ll make a second version, probably. One without side effects. They'd have to, to take it as far as they'd want.

Laura

Laura?

Tom

Yeah?

Laura

Why are you defending them?

Tom

Laura paused and re-read her texts.

I don’t know.

Laura

Well, could you stop? I’ll do this on my own, fine, but the least you could do is stop telling me to give up.

Tom

Okay.

Laura

Good luck at your conference. 

Tom

Laura frowned and closed the conversation, parsing it over while she microwaved a serving of soup. Then, a few minutes later, she re-opened it.

Wait, I have a question.

Laura

Sure.

Tom

You said Kiyana's been put under RAIN?

Laura

I think so, because Jun talked to her before he talked to me, and he's under. Why?

Tom

She wanted to talk to me in person, but I don't know, cuz so do you. Might not be connected. You know her mental health situation.

Laura

Kiyana told him that my grandma quit because she was tired or something. So Jun might be trying to rope her into this, but it's more likely to me that she brought him in.

Tom

Oh, so you think I should avoid her until the conference is over, just in case? 

Laura

If you want to remember it afterwards. 

Tom

Laura stayed awake far later than usual. To avoid the inevitable wonderings on whatever Tom was on about, she thought of her time spent in the lab a few hours earlier. The ambiguous clatter that she’d ignored had to have been footsteps, she realized. There had to have been at least two people above her. A crew, maybe, preparing to destroy the building, ignorant of the hours of work she’d accomplished on the floor below. 

She’d have to move out of the lab the next morning. Disappointing, but necessary. The campus engineering stations were well-supplied, but also well-populated. And people, well, were loud and unpredictable, and potential plagiarists. On top of all that, streams of touring high-schoolers loved nothing more than to gaze through the windows of the engineering labs. She’d know; she’d been one of them.

Space and quiet above, the lab was hers. Not technically, of course, but it wasn’t anyone else’s. The cold little room hadn’t seen much science in the years before she’d taken up residence, not since the last drug bust, and it wouldn’t see more when it was rubble. But of course, the alternative to leaving her lab was staying in, and there was a nonzero chance of them demolishing the building without checking twice. Two stories—no, six meters—was a long way to fall.

…

A few hours passed before Laura’s alarm buzzed at her. Save your work, it reminded her, before she shut it off. Quickly, before the cranes arrive!

But she wasn’t enough of a monster to leave Box out of a walk when the opportunity arose, and it wasn’t like he minded an early wakeup when a stroll was on the line, judging by the sloppy merriment with which he ate his breakfast.

That was, until his ears perked up, and he gave a low growl at the door. Moments later, footsteps echoed on the front porch.

That disconcerted Laura for a few reasons. One, that both of her roommates were out of the house; two, that it was seven-thirty, the college-town equivalent of four in the morning; and three, which only struck her when she opened the door, was that Tom had warned her not to interact with Kiyana until after the conference.

“Hi,” Laura said. If she’d sounded more cautious than usual, Kiyana hadn’t noticed.

Box whined and retreated into the house. It had to be the smell: maybe it was Laura’s occasional weird sensitivities talking, but Kiyana seemed to smell really weird, like vinegar, or skunks. Maybe RAIN messed with people’s sense of smell, Laura thought, and wished the situation was more controlled so she could take notes.

Kiyana took a while to reply, and her posture was stiff. And, Laura figured, if she’d noticed something like that, it had to be egregious.

 “I apologize,” Kiyana said, “For the smell. I’m using a new scent.” “Sure,” Laura replied, and realized that it might be safer to take shorter breaths for the duration of this odd little interaction. “It’s a little strong.”

Kiyana didn’t reply, and instead walked inside. Laura caught that she was wearing wireless earbuds. Probably the way the induction was transmitted, but it would be nice to know for sure.

“What are you listening to?” she asked.

Kiyana looked up, but didn’t make a motion to take out her headphones.

“What’s the song?” Laura pressed.

“Oh. Podcast.”

“What’s the podcast?” “Here,” Kiyana said. She took out one of her earbuds and held it out in her hand.

Laura listened. Someone was talking. Just one, which she supposed was sort of unusual for a podcast.

“Don’t let her leave,” the voice in her ear said.

Laura felt a shiver ice its way through her, but maintained enough composure to throw the thing in her ear away from her. 

“What the hell—” Laura said, but the sound died in her throat, as Kiyana took a spray bottle from her coat. It was small, like the type someone would use to hold glasses cleaner. 

Tom was right, Laura thought. He was right. He was right! But what to do about this new certainty, she had no idea. She supposed running would be a place to start, but before she could implement her new and innovative strategy, Kiyana sprayed the bottle into her face.

“Sorry,” Kiyana said flatly, before bending down to pick up the thrown earbud. “The nozzle must have been facing the wrong way.” Shit, Laura thought frantically. She had to leave, before Kiyana made her listen to her phone. Apparently throwing the earbud bought some time, since Kiyana felt obligated to find it, instead of disconnecting the earbuds from the phone and playing them through the speaker. But the borrowed time was running out quickly, and she saw only two options: knock the phone out of Kiyana’s phone and hopefully break it, or run for it. She chose the latter.

A few sprinted strides took her to the back of the apartment, little more than a few square meters of gravel and dirt, surrounded by an two-meter wooden fence. Kiyana was behind her, only by a few meters, enough that she could almost hear the phone’s audio. She ran, two steps, three, towards the fence.

When she was growing up, Laura’s classmates had struggled to understand her. They’d made fun of her for not quite speaking correctly, for not having the overly-passionate inflections they did. Or she was a little bit too slow to respond, or too fast, or too honest. Most of the jabs had been behind her back, by people who knew their dislike wasn’t justified. Those who’d been brazen enough to confront her directly had told her to care more about their own interests: TV, celebrities, stories. Nothing real, practical, in front of her. But this fence was in front of her and real enough to climb. Or, rather, run up; no way there’d be time enough to climb.

She’d never tried to run up a fence before. It was possible, of course; her boyfriend sophomore year had loved to show up his parkour skills. And the following year, she’d confirmed the mechanics of it as part of an extra-credit assignment in AP physics. The trick was to consider the human body not as a basic object, but as a machine that was able to generate some upwards momentum after it hit the surface of the fence. People did have some amount of potential energy from complex muscle movements, even if the action was as limited as a shift in weight.

So she shifted her weight as she connected with the fence, hurling herself upwards instead of away. A fraction of a second later, she flung her arms forward to grab the top of the fence.

Victory. Laura grabbed onto the ledge and swung over, immediately landing into a sprint. She had to put as much distance as possible between herself and the source of the induction. She made it to campus and weaved through one of the lesser-known courtyards before huddling behind a mossy fountain.

When Laura took her phone out of her pocket, she immediately dropped it. She was trembling, like she was cold. A detached part of her thought that was interesting; she seldom had physical reactions to stress. But she needed to call Tom, and this wasn’t making it easy. It took another two tries to call his number.

The phone went to voicemail. Laura gasped a message—it wasn’t easy to speak after running so much, including up a fence, and she wasn’t trying to attract attention—and quickly abandoned the idea in favor of a text.

Help!

Laura

The minute or two it took Tom to reply was agonizing.

What?

Tom

Kiyana’s after me with RAIN

Laura

You talked to her?

Tom

She sprayed it on me. If I hear the induction command I’m gone.

Laura

Holy shit

Tom

What should I do? On campus. Near quad.

Laura

Uh…

Tom

hurry

Laura

Get to where there’s a lot of people, and it’d be suspicious if she did anything.

Tom

Okay, the mini-mart. It’s nearby.

Laura

I’ll think of something.

Tom

…

The mini-mart was well-lit, with a central kiosk run by a few cashiers. A few people browsed the aisles, and one was filling a thermos at the coffee station.

Laura let out a shaky breath. It would be difficult for Kiyana to try anything without people noticing. Now all she had to do was figure out what to do about Kiyana being hypnotized. Both Kiyana and Jun, she realized, if Tom was right, which she’d already established he was. But at least Tom wasn’t infected yet, and at least the store wouldn’t close for another few hours.

The sounds of the mini-mart, crinkling bags and shuffling footsteps, suddenly quieted. Laura glanced upwards from her phone and noticed two things. One was that every shopper and cashier was looking at her.

The other was that everyone in the store was wearing earbuds or headphones.

The store’s announcement speaker stopped the advertising it had been running and made a series of bell-like clanging sounds.

“Stop where you are, Laura.”

For a moment, Laura was still cogent, enough to feel the surreal horror of her feet not moving where she wanted them to go. Not at all, actually, as if they were nailed to the floor. And she wanted to move, up until the voice kept speaking, and she lost the ability to form that sort of thought. She couldn’t hear her phone hit the floor, its case clattering against the linoleum. On its screen was the texting app, still open.

Laura, did you make it to the store?

Tom

Laura?

Tom

Say something.

Tom

If you don’t reply, I’ll assume the worst.

Tom

A few minutes later, Laura slowly, deliberately, picked up her phone and typed a reply.

Hey.

Laura

What’s the plan? Do you need me to come by?

Tom

She took a moment to visit the website that the speakers kept repeating, then typed in a prompt. A reply was sent her way, so she re-opened the conversation.

Yeah, get me out of here.

Laura

Okay.

Tom

[a-tale-never-told]

I don't think Kodaka had concrete plans for anything beyond SDR2, to be honest. It would definitely explain why V3 is so disjointed from the other two games, why UDG is so nonsensical and kind of unsatisfactory at the ending, and why DR3 is the mess that it is. I'd like to get my hands dirty and rewrite the timeline. UDG in particular because everyone else has the main three games covered, and I really, really don't like how the WoH were denied a satisfying conclusion for their story.

Yeah, I see where you are getting at. I don't want to put my own thoughts this early now, but I will say this.

SDR2 was Kodaka at his peak. Everything from the story, the characters, the setting, everything was incredible. That is why it became so much better than the original, as Kodaka improved on the mistakes of the og and made it better. You could say that SDR2 was Kodaka's Magnum Opus.

Since then, no other game from the franchise, be it canon or fangame has come close to me for SDR2 levels. The bar was set high and the ones that came after that didn't live up to it.

Udg was a bit of a mess, While the story was okay for the most part, the gameplay was shit ( Don't know why they wanted to make it into a shooter game) the characters weren't that great, with the exception of a few, And do I need to mention Chapter 3? I guess not. At least Toko got character development which was needed to be honest.

V3, while not the worst thing I have played, is easily the weakest game of the franchise. Characters weren't as compelling and felt one note to me, the story was weird, Chapter 3 was a big no-no for me, and the new features were hard to get through. Plus the ending was just shit all the way. At least there were some characters that I did like from that game.

Dr3 is easily the worst of the franchise, by far. The Future arc, Hope arc, and especially the Despair arc sucked major ass not seen since the days of Rwby. Yes, it is that awful. But I will save my complaints when I review it.

[eatsbop]

After running five laps around the house I've decided to write this. Cause you're right @kaasjee we gotta extend some empathy towards those nerds. Like.. I'm very.. empathy. Em.. empathetic, empathic. Ya. Whichever of those two are correct.

I chose to write on glasses nerd's pov cause he uses big words like percentile. I'm not even sure I can pronounce that word. Percentile haha. Tf.

The day started as per usual.

I woke up at 4 am on the dot (not a second later) feeling totally refreshed. I, after all, got a solid 20 minutes of sleep after some extra revisions I did the previous night.

I meditated for five minutes, chanting affirmations to claim victory once again.. it goes "ballin ballin highballin babey". Afterwards I went through my usual routine to get ready for another, I'm sure, amazing school day. By time I was done it was already 5 am. Skincare takes a bit of work as I have to apply precisely 15 layers of sunscreen. Got to have all my bases covered.

After grabbing my schoolbag and phone, I left my room with a vigorous bounce in my steps. That's totally not a tic from lack of sleep, I already told you I slept a solid 20 mins.

Going in the kitchen, I procured one (1) crispy soda cracker. I had forgotten the face of my dad in my moment of weakness and ate ramyeon last night.. because I kind of got stuck on a problem and needed some energy booster! So ya! I'm already pretty full! After finishing my filling breakfast, I drank two glasses of water. Like a wiseman once said, "The light of the world will illuminate within you if you purify yourself." Yeah boi. I can already feel the headache that comes with having such big brain energy™ first thing in the morning.

Before leaving the house, I checked myself once more by the mirror at the entryway. Gotta make sure there's no unsightly wrinkles or ties askew. While clothes don't maketh the man, teachers give points for conduct.

I arrived at school one hour early for class. I always make sure to arrive an hour early to show the teachers who the real MVP is around here.

The day passed like a blur. Like. Ya.

I'm deskmates with the top student, Ji Yeonwoo. He's like.. a mega brainiac. Like I said, he's the top student. He's also athletic, charming, polite, handsome, popular.. all the good stats. When you're around him, you sometimes forget who you are. Like you're just a side character. Or an extra.

It's not because we're deskmates that we became friends. It's totally because you tend to attract the people with the same energy that you do!

Yeonwoo, straight A's? Me, straight A's. Yeonwoo, glasses? Me, glasses. And so on. Totally same. Almost identical.

Anyway we planned to head to a cafe after school to compare notes of today's lessons. But then.. something unusual happened before we could step out of school.

A guy intercepted us.

At first we thought he was Yeonwoo's friend. As I've said earlier, you attract the energy that is similar to the energy you give. We, of course, are excited! There isn't that many of us! But here he is, Yeonwoo's friend. Another tall, cool, good-looking guy with perfect stats. One of our people.

Then the next thing I knew, all the air in my lungs are gone and the world is turning black.

What happened?..

Is it something that we've said?

What did we even say.

My life flashed before my eyes.

What did we even say?

"Oh. Are you fighting to see who has the best scores?! Then we want in!"

Oh.

[blue2dawn]

leo valdez headcanons just because i can

beware my dodgy formatting (no spoilers-ish)

i had the revelation that leo valdez is essentially latino han jisung

they’re so similar it’s scary??

anyways i think that leo is a weeb and we were robbed of more gamer!leo content

leo is definitely an isekai enjoyer and he’s into the tsunderes (eg. asuka)

as a minor im gonna keep the nsfw headcanons in my brain LMAOO

leo gives me drum player vibes? like he seems like he has a really good sense of rhythm and if im not mistaken he’s known to always be tapping on something

generally id say that he can probably pick up any instrument with a little bit of hyperfixtation

piano player leo??? shit

i think it’s mostly emphasised that leo is a mathematical and engineering genius but damn can we talk about his artistic/linguistic skills?

he designed the argo II when he was FIVE. and built it when he was what, fifteen?

uncle rick’s magnum opus was thinking of wii controllers as the way leo steered the argo II

this makes me think that leo mods all of his devices lol he probably built a mario kart simulator for one of his younger cabinmates (a leo take on the classic racecar bed)

leo doesn’t get to use his fire abilities nearly enough :( his toolbelt kind of steals the show

or is it my vague memory of the series? dunno im gonna reread it this summer

anyways i can’t help but feel leo having a hammer as his weapon is a lil boring

i see him with a set of throwing knives that he probably lights on fire? awesome as fuck

leo my bilingual king? i headcanon that he learned his times tables in spanish (this is me projecting)

me encanta leo valdez porque él es muy gracioso, amable, y guapo LMAO (gcse spanish skills 😌)

leo is definitely a graffiti artist. every single wall in his workshop is some sort of mural

short king. definitely wears insoles

what i said earlier about the drums? that’s him sorting through his severe anger issues and crushing guilt woohoo

CORRECTION; according to the wiki he naturally understands greek as a demigod. damn

ok so i know that there are some like s-tier physical powerhouses on the argo II but leo can hold his own in a fight and he definitely moves like a dancer

dude fought a minor goddess 1 on 1 in HER turf and WON, while also killing low level monsters at the same time

we as a fandom are sleeping on my boy leo so much

im sorry but leo is such a malewife.

ouuu imagine if leo named festus feliz instead KYAAA THATS SO CUTE

i died a little inside when i found out two minutes ago that reyna calls leo “mi hermano” (my brother)

im literally pretending the angst doesn’t exist bc yeah. ok that’s it

thanks for reading c:

[theoldandnewfirm]

Thoughts on troll reproduction

Please enjoy my aforementioned magnum opus on troll reproductive anatomy. I spent way too much time on it and my search history will never recover.

General notes

The reproductive systems of both male and female trolls are internal and situated primarily within the pelvic cavity, accessible via an entrance on the grok-nuks.

Contrary to human interpretation, the grok-nuks are not analogous to testicles, but instead collectively refer to the critical nerves, arteries, and organs in the pelvis. Because a troll’s hide is thinnest at the pelvis—to allow for articulation of the hips, torso, and legs—the grok-nuks are their most vulnerable area, and even light trauma to them can be debilitating. See “Rule 3.”

And now onto the good stuff!

Male troll reproductive anatomy

Male trolls have no externally visible reproductive organs. Their penis is fully retractable and their testes are situated between the bladder and kidneys within their pelvis.

Testicle size varies between species; however, the size of all male troll testis increases in the months leading up to the fertile cycle. This size increase varies between individuals, but a typical range is 4-6x the base testicle size.*

Larger testes size is beneficial in mating, as bigger testis = more semen = greater chance of fertilization

Troll penises have their own wild shit going on. They:

Are often large relative to the troll’s body size, especially in subspecies where multiple males compete for a single female.

Have baculums (a free-floating bone that helps them maintain an erection)

Are retractable; they partially extend for urination and fully extend for mating. When fully retracted

Have flared heads, allowing them to scoop out the semen of other males upon withdrawal from the vagina

Are prehensile, with mobility** level correlated to size: the larger the troll species, the more dexterous their member. This feature helps compensate for difficulties trolls can face during mounting or penetration owing to their bulk and somewhat reduced mobility.

Troll seminal fluid is a little less complicated:

During a fertile cycle troll seminal fluid is watery and opaque with color ranging from light gray depending on subspecies. Outside of a fertile cycle the seminal fluid becomes transparent, indicative of an absence of sperm in the ejaculate.

Typically smells metallic

The taste varies between individuals and whether or not they’re in a cycle. As with humans, the taste can also be impacted by diet.

Female troll reproductive anatomy

Like the males, the texture of the troll vagina is reminiscent of silicone. It has a base level of lubrication at all times that increases during the fertile cycle, and further during copulation itself

The average depth of a troll’s vagina is 15” (measured from entrance to cervix), which includes an upward curve at the end

Near the cervix is a nerve bundle analogous to the clitoris; stimulating it during penetration increases relaxation of the cervix and makes it easier for sperm to access the uterus

Trolls have large uteruses to accommodate the honkin’ huge eggs they lay. Depending on subspecies, a troll egg can weigh anywhere from 10 - 30lbs.

In some subspecies the vaginal canal has switchbacks and dead ends that can be a challenge for the penis to navigate; this is a holdover from a time when the female trolls of the subspecies…had a little less choice in who their mates were, and had to rely on combative anatomy to control who actually fertilized them

Also like the males, ovulation in female trolls stops outside of the fertile cycle.

----------------------------------------------------------------------

*This dramatic size shift is due to how troll testes work: sperm production only happens during the fertile cycle, and the testicles grow to maximize the amount of sperm they can produce. After the cycle ends they enter dormancy and shrink.

**Penis size and mobility increase the odds of successful fertilization: males with larger, more nimble penises can position their semen closer to the cervix

[teacupballerina]

I'm trying to write something aku-content heavy, and one thing I find endearing (amongst many other things) about aku, is that he seems to enjoy children. I think Aku and kids can get on the same level so well because Aku is a very immature person, and dare I say it, can be extremely childish half the time. This demon god guy literally tells them fables and fairy tales to appeal to them more, which is really sweet considering Akus character. And you contrast that with the high priestess from season five who does everything from charring her daughters skin to a burnt crisp, forcing them to fight until absolute exhaustion and near death, and verbally abusing them the entire time since they were born, and it makes someone such as me go, "damn. Aku shockingly enough, probably would've been a less abusive parent than her. Maybe even a semi-decent one compared to this shit show."

I've been saying this for over a decade ^^ In both the show and the comics Aku hangs out with children and doesn't kill them or even threaten them. He knows they are harmless. Though his motive is generally to sway them to his side, that in itself is an extension of his desire to be loved. He wants love but thinks the way to receive the emotions he wants is through worship, idolatry, praise, etc. And he usually has to force it out of people, which makes it disingenuous. But he is never satisfied because he wants to be loved for who and what he is. (This was the key to Ashi gaining control of her Aku side, Jack accepting and loving her despite being Aku, and this is what ends the show, Aku finally being loved for being Aku even through a proxy LOL)

I feel that Aku really lets his true self through around children despite his interactions being manipulative, because he genuinely has no idea how to appeal to them past a surface level observation and simply defaults to being himself. So in the end he DOES sort of interact on their level, because he IS childlike. But even the kids are more mature than he is, so it's even funnier.

The High Priestess got up to some shit that Aku himself wouldn't touch. Real evil is human. Aku does what he thinks "the ultimate evil" would do (for many reasons--to defend himself, as a warning not to cross him, as an attempt to make a safe place for himself, as boredom relief), but when he's alone or around children he's fairly harmless, almost like the "ultimate evil" persona is a mask for the world, an expectation to live up to that got old centuries ago. I mean by the time Jack gets there, Aku spends most of his days in the future either chilling or meeting with aliens and minions, half the time not even bothering to be evil about it (enslaving verbina and astor for breaking his laws VS. shooing the poop people for being nasty).

Basically I agree and the concept of Aku getting up to shenanigans with a bunch of kindergarteners is kind of my magnum opus, I WOULD LOVE TO READ THE THING YOU ARE WRITING, PLS