#this show has the part of me that was an English major for one semester in a chokehold

[o-wild-west-wind]

ofmd is like not comedy as in sitcom but comedy as in shakespearean where it’s psychological trauma and conflicts of violence but with dick jokes and the promise of marriage in the end

[sleepsacked]

for eternity, c.s.

+ college student!choi san x college student!afab!reader

+ part: 3/3 (this is all the previous parts put into one revised and extended part, so this CAN be read as a standalone!)

+ word count: 19.9k (english isn’t my only language so this is 90% edited to the best of my ability, i am so sorry for grammatical errors x)

+ tags: 18+, minors/ageless blogs dni! tags are below the cut, it’s a lot lol

+ summary: classic story of experienced reader corrupting innocent boyfriend who managed to end up together after being partnered up for a class project and explore their filthy fantasies together.

+ a/n: guys... i know. it's been two years since i uploaded on this story and trust me when i say there has not been a moment where i did not think about sitting down and uploading on here especially because i still get notifications of people re-blogging and liking the previous parts. with that being said, i revised the previous parts and fixed up my grammar and added bits of more plot to each along with adding what would have been stand-alone third part had i not decided to add all three/three and a half? (1, 2, 2.5, 3) parts together. 

please show this some love if you can, and feel free to leave me any suggestions on who you wanna see me write for next...  thank you all again for your extreme patience x

© sleepsacked 2024 / wanna buy me a coffee? xo

+ tags: semi-story building/plot, light humor, college au, virgin!san, experienced!reader, (tried to make it as gender neutral as possible), rest of atz making occasional appearance but mostly reader x san, clumsy/nerd!san, dry humping, grinding, panty stuffing? cum stuffing? hand.. grinding?, filthy makeouts, usage of pet names (babe/baby/love/sweet boy/pretty girl) a lot, teasing, sniffing..(?), vibrating dildo, body worship, hair pulling, cum play, size kink?kinda?, slight dom!reader x sub!san dynamic, slight serivce top san too lol, maybe dom san for a split second, nipple play, bed??humping??, cunnilingus, masturbation (m), panty usage(m) it'll make sense when you read lol, panty kink, begging, squirting, creampies yay, perv!san, slight corruption kink, imagination/dirty fantasy/sexuality exploration??, dirty talk, tongue play(?), whiny san yay, slight body image insecurity, slight relationship insecurity on san's part, reader is canonically on birth control ok, kinda fluffy, kinda realistic, reader and san have good communication okay, if i forgot anything lmk x

-

You and San had met in your graphics design class at the beginning of your third year of university, which was a class that had nothing to do with your major and was just some random filler class that fit into your schedule for some elective credits. 

Although he had sat on the other side of the room, he had surely made a solid impression on you. When you’d see him stroll into class, you never failed to notice how his broad shoulders expanded as he fixed his bag from falling down his arm, or how his slim waist was accentuated by whatever pair of sweats he decided to wear that day. You also never failed to notice his slight resemblance between a fox and a cat, he was definitely mesmerizing to say the least.

It wasn’t until your professor assigned a partner project; and as if fate couldn’t have been anymore real- the two of you were paired together.

You had noticed that he hadn’t spoken much in class throughout the semester, listening intently to the professor’s lectures (or just really good at pretending), and occasionally getting up to use the bathroom. Because of these facts alone, you concluded that he was more on the reserved side of society and opted out for keeping to himself; finding a quiet peace in marching to the beat of his own drum… far from most of the guys you typically sought after.

You were familiar with guys like those who were in alpha tau zeta or beta sigma tau; the ones who were easy to bring to bed but awful to bring home to your parents.

“Hey, I’m Y/N. Looks like we’re partnered together,” you laughed lightly.

“San,” he lowered his head in a quick nod, gathering his backpack to place on the floor and scooted his chair to the side to welcome you. As you sat down, you stole a quick glance in his direction before situating yourself to move your focus to the professor and the instructions for the project that was about to take course over the next couple of weeks.

-

“Alright, well if there’s no more questions, you guys are free to go for the day. And again, please don’t wait ‘til the last minute to begin your projects. Make sure you and your partner are on the same page. Have a good weekend everyone,” your professor waved. As the class began to file out, you looked back at San, noticing how slow he was at making his way out.

“Are-”

“I-”

“You go ahead first,” you laughed lightly, taking note of San’s avoidance of eye contact and the light blush that began to creep up on his neck. He clutched his backpack tighter before letting out a sigh and finally meeting your eyes.

“I was just going to ask when you wanted to begin working on our project… I’m free on the weekends and I don’t have any classes on Fridays either,” his voice trailed off, his eyes averting to the wall behind you and then back to you again.

Oh, he is going to be the death of you.

You hummed. “Yeah, weekends work for me. No classes on Friday either so we can start tomorrow? You live on campus?”

“Yeah, I live in the Arts Hall,” San nodded.

“Really?” Your eyebrows raised, “I do too. Here. Lemme get your number and I’ll text you later and we can figure out a time to meet up! I have a meeting to go to that starts in 10 and it’s on the other side of campus,” you began to pull out your phone, opening up the keypad and handing it to San.

“Oh? Oh, yeah, okay, just text me whenever. I didn’t mean to hold you up,” he fumbled his words as his hand grazed yours after taking your phone from you. He typed his number and handed your phone back to you, you smiled as you took a quick glance at his contact name.

“san :3”

Cute, you thought to yourself as you gathered your belongings and got up from your seat.

“Don’t worry about it, I’m excited to start working on our project. See you around, San,” you looked at him one last time as you waved goodbye, walking out the door to head to your meeting.

-

You hadn’t texted San yet, but that didn’t mean you hadn’t been thinking about him the whole day. You were curious to know more about him, his shyness, how you never noticed that he lived in the same dorm hall as you. You figured it really wouldn’t be too difficult to talk to San and your curiosity was eating at you more than you liked to admit (it was definitely the raging hunger).

It was already past dinner, your meeting lasting longer then you had expected. You debated taking an Uber to that one pizza restaurant you’d been meaning to try out or to just head back to your dorm and make a bowl of ramen. 

With San still on your mind as you decided on dinner plans, you realized you weren’t someone who was keen on taking the lead or being a more assertive person in a situation like this, so when you found yourself open San’s contact profile in your phone and hitting the call button, you were quite surprised.

As you were about to hang up after the first few rings you heard a faint greeting on the other end of the line.

“Hello? Who is this?”

“Hi, I’m so sorry to be calling you right now… it’s Y/N-”

“Y/N? Oh, hi… hi… are you alright?”

Your chest squeezed at his sudden concern.

“Yes! Yes, I’m okay. Seriously, I’m sorry for calling so suddenly. I just got out of my meeting-”

“This late?”

“I know right… I just got out and I was about to head to this new pizza restaurant downtown and was wondering if you wanted to come with me. I know it’s a bit… weird considering we haven’t spoken to each other before today. But I figured we could talk about our project and set up a schedule to work on it or something? If you’re not busy right now, of course.”

You rambled, suddenly regretting even calling San in the first place and realizing that it was a bit awkward to invite San out to eat on a whim like this considering the circumstances.

 There was a long pause.

“Actually, it’s okay if you can’t! I know it’s super late, and I called outta nowhere-”

“I’m down. Where are you at right now?”

“Passing the library actually...”

“That’s good, I’m on the 4th floor of the tech center, I’ll meet you at those benches in front of the library, yeah?”

“Uh… yeah, yeah, I’ll wait right here.”

San hummed, before hanging up and leaving you with your own thoughts as you walked back towards the benches and sat down, waiting patiently.

-

“How’s the practice for the showcase coming along?” 

“Could be better, we’re still working on the chorus but can’t seem to mix the vocals right and it’s been pissing us off.”

“I’m sure it’s fine, you guys are perfectionists.”

“Well, of course we are Wooyoung! I’m sure you feel the same when you choreograph, right?”

“Okay, Yunho, that’s not even a good example.”

“What? It totally is! You can’t dance if the music is shit, so we have to make sure our music isn’t shit!”

“Mingi, shouldn’t you be worrying about, I don’t know, other shit?”

San laughed to himself, his fingers grazing across the keyboard as he finished typing up some discussion answers for one of his coding classes, doing his best to tune out most of the chatter that was happening amongst his friends.

His phone buzzed against the tabletop, his screen lighting up with an unknown number. His friends stayed enthralled in their conversation, paying him no mind as he answered his phone hastily.

“Hello? Who is this?”

“Hi, I’m so sorry to be calling you right now… it’s Y/N-”

Wooyoung was the first to notice that San was on the phone, not even because he was necessarily trying to pay attention but he was about to ask if San wanted to join the rest of them heading to the cafeteria to grab a quick bite before it closed for the night.

“Hey guys, shh, shh,” Wooyoung whispered as he smacked Yunho’s arm. Yunho and Mingi’s voices died down as their attention fixed on San.

“That’s good, I’m on the 4th floor of the tech center, I’ll meet you at those benches in front of the library, yeah?” San finished with a hum before hanging up the phone, feeling three sets of eyes on him.

“So who was that?” Wooyoung’s lips fell into a coy smile, a tilt to his voice as he felt himself get giddy.

“Hm?”

“Don’t tell me…” Yunho’s hand slapped Wooyoung’s shoulder before giving it a hard grip, staring at San in disbelief. Mingi was the next to chime in, as if he felt the cue to get in on the joke.

“Finally, my man San, you shooting shots?”

San’s eyes closed, his fingers pinching the bridge of his nose before letting out a soft sigh.

“It was one of my classmates, Y/N, she’s my partner for this project in my graphics design class. She called asking to grab dinner and talk about what direction we wanna go, nothing crazy,” San began gathering his belongings and stuffing as much as he could in his bag in one go before getting up and slinging his bag over his shoulder.

“Woah, woah, woah, kinda sounds like she’s interested, no?” Yunho wiggled his brows. San immediately shook his in disagreement, feeling the tips of his ears get hot.

“San, I mean this in like, the most loving way possible, but you almost never know when someone is interested in you and… well,” Wooyoung cleared his throat before continuing, “I think it kinda has to do with the fact that… you know… you’re a little bit of a late bloomer.” Wooyoung cupped his hands around his lips as he whispered the last couple of words in San’s direction.

“Alright!” San’s voice cracked, “On that note, I will see you guys tomorrow!”

“Be safe! Use protection!”

“To manhood!”

“Yeah! What they said!”

San continued to make way out of the building, not looking back at his friends as his face continued to heat up. The comments definitely made him nervous, he didn't think you were interested in him… right? You guys barely had a full conversation and only started talking this afternoon in class despite having been together the last month and a half in the same classroom. Was this how dating was like? Was this how people pursued each other? Was it not like best friends falling in love after years of knowing each other? I mean sure, yeah plenty of couples met in different ways, he was pretty familiar with romcoms and-

No! Focus! This is just about class, the project, getting familiar enough to get a good grade and moving forward to the next semester, no time for dating or romance, and certainly no time for sex.

San wasn’t too sure what happened next but suddenly he was lying on his back at the bottom of the stairwell, his bag barely cushioning his fall and hearing a faint yell of his name outside through the glass doors. Faint pattering against the concrete outside could be heard before the glass door swung open.

“San! Oh my god? Are you okay?” You kneeled next to him, awaiting his response.

All San could manage was a groan before he turned over on his side and slowly got up from the ground, reaching for his bag in the process. This definitely couldn’t be more embarrassing- actually, no, knowing him and his luck, it definitely could be more embarrassing in due time.

“Yeah, I’m fine.”

“You sure? What even happened?”

“Um, actually, I don’t know…” his voice trailed off as he dusted off his clothing.

“What?” You laughed.

“Sorry, I mean, I think I was just lost in my head about something and must’ve missed a step.”

“Ah… lost in your head about anything in particular?” You moved to walk towards the door, reaching for the handle and letting San walk through first, his clumsy state a bit unpredictable for properly meeting up with each other.

“Thanks,” San quietly said as he walked through the glass doors and into the crisp, fall scenery that was draped prettily over the campus grounds. The trees began to lose their leaves and the colors that their foliage left painted on the ground was always the prettiest picture that San never got tired of. 

“And no. Just regular thoughts roaming around in there, I guess.” You both continued to stroll down the path that led to the student parking lot, the soft crunch of leaves creating a comforting ambiance.

“Makes sense.” You paused under one of the light posts, the sun setting enough that the lights emitted a soft glow that accentuated all different types of contours on each of your faces.

“I can order the Uber, by the way. I wasn’t sure when you’d head down or what you wanted to do or anything but I can order it, I don’t think it’ll take long to get here,” You began mumbling as you reached for your phone in your sweater.

“Uber? We can just take my truck, no?”

“You have a truck?”

“Nothing fancy, trust me, it's an ‘06 model,” San laughed, wondering why it was so surprising he owned a truck. He motioned for you to follow as he continued the path down to the parking lot, you followed behind. 

“But a truck?”

“What? A guy can’t own a truck?”

“No, it’s not that- I just mean, you don’t really seem like the truck kinda guy.”

San shrugged, “Gets me from place to place, plus she’s still kicking.”

San led the way to his truck that was parked conveniently in front of the entrance of the tech center.

“No way this truck has crank up windows,” You said in disbelief as you hopped in. “I haven’t seen these in like years, like years, San.”

He threw his head back as he laughed, giving you a shrug as you guys drove off with mindless chatter being shared amongst the both of you.

-

And that was how your relationship with San began; working as partners for a project (which you both aced) that soon led to hanging out at every free moment either of you had. Countless spontaneous dates throughout the course of those next few weeks of you inviting him out to eat dinner with you at that pizza joint. It wasn’t very much longer until San had finally asked you to be his romantic partner.

You were made aware of San’s inexperience, both in dating and intimacy, and honestly, it wasn’t something that was entirely concerning to you. You had a feeling that maybe his experience wasn’t… all there, and you were content with moving at a gradual pace, his pace. Quite truthfully, your pride and ego was well-fed knowing that you’d be the only one to share these experiences with your boyfriend for the first time.

Today, however, you had noticed a shift in San’s attitude and he was more clingy than normal; sticking to your side like glue whenever you went anywhere within your student living apartment. It started off with not wanting to let you get out of bed to use the restroom, clinging onto your waist tighter as you tried wiggling your way out of his arms and nuzzling his head in your neck with a low whine. Your head fell back against the mattress, letting out a sigh.

“Baby, what’s wrong, hm,” you stopped to look down at him as best as you could given your current state. You weren’t annoyed, by all means, but something was definitely bothering San and you were maybe just a little hurt that he was acting differently like this as a way to let you know. You wiggled around again, snaking your arm around his back and combing your fingers through the short hairs that were at the nape of his neck. 

San nuzzled his head deeper into the crook of your neck, the feeling of his eyelashes fluttering against your sensitive skin giving you goosebumps.

“Nothing’s wrong… just- I don’t know. Just wanna be around you, s’all.” Sans lips grazed ever so lightly as he spoke against your skin.

You hummed in faux agreement, “Okay, whatever you say. Lemme get up and go pee, then I can make us something to eat and we can put on that one show you were telling me about the other day, yeah?”

San squeezed his arms around you tightly one last time, before he rolled over and laid against the bed, a pout forming on his lips.

“Fine, that sound’s good.”

-

You were bent over, looking in the fridge and wondering what the hell you were going to cook up. The groceries didn’t look promising, probably because there was a lack thereof, and it was enough to have you close the fridge and look for something in the pantry.

Suddenly, muscular arms wrapped around your body, one around your waist and the other around your upper chest. Light kisses were peppered and pressed against your shoulder and the back of your neck.

“Baby, can’t we just order delivery? I miss you and want you back in bed,” San voiced through his tiny ministrations on your neck. You couldn’t help but giggle at your boyfriend’s clinginess, this level of clinginess being a new side of him you had yet to see. However, you still tried your best to keep your composure, but his broad chest felt so warm against your back that you couldn’t help but indulge in his affection.

“You sure you're okay? You’re not running a fever? Or a concussion?” You tried to turn your head to face him, but his kisses were too distracting on your body and San always had a way of making you feel like he was worshiping you. His arms squeezed you tighter, pulling your ass to meet his crotch. He gave a little thrust and you felt his hard-on press into the clothed crevice of your ass. San gave you one last kiss before he rested his chin on your shoulder and looked at you with hooded eyes.

“Yes, love, I’m okay. I just miss you, “ San leaned forward, pressing your noses together before pushing his hips up into you again, his eyes fluttering softly before he looked back at you.

“So this is why you’re being like this, huh?” A small smile formed on your lips, quickly leaning in to peck San before pulling away. “You want me to help you out?” San turned his gaze away from you, the tips of his ears becoming hot and red, which you found more than endearing.

“Whatever you wanna do right now, I’m okay with, San. Just do whatever you think might feel good for you, okay?” You spoke softly, somewhat anticipating if your boyfriend was going to make any type of move. The farthest you had gotten with San was the occasional heavy make-out sessions with occasional groping- but he never reached to touch you where you wanted him most.

San released you from his grip, not speaking as he turned you around and gently grabbed your wrist. You looked at him, waiting to see if he was going to give any response but instead, he dragged you to the bedroom, leading you to stand at the edge of the bed before walking back to the door and quietly shutting it.

He turned back to look at you, his face and ears flushed before slowly walking towards you and standing in front of you sheepishly.

“You said I can do whatever I think feels good…?” San fidgeted with his fingers, pulling the inside of his cheeks between his teeth. You grabbed his hands, gently rubbing your thumb across the top.

“Whatever you want, baby. However you want, too… however you wanna use me, I trust you,” you brought one his hands to your lips, pressing gentle kisses before opening his palm and pressing your cheek against him. You heard him gulp as you briefly glanced down and noticed the tent in his sweatpants begging for some friction, alongside the faintest spot of pre-cum forming.

“May you bend over the bed?” He spoke softly as he looked at you, eyes glossed over with lust.

You smiled and nodded, lifting your head from his palm. Before you began to turn around to bend over the edge of the bed, you stood on your tip-toes, kissing the round little tip of San’s nose before you quietly cooed at him.

“Only because you asked me so kindly,” you placed a light kiss on his lips. You caught the way his nose scrunched as he fought back a smile. He knew you loved how well-mannered he was.

You turned around and bent over the edge of the bed, your clothed-ass on display for San. You weren’t sure what he had in mind as you laid in this position, but before you could ponder too long you felt cool hands push your shirt up a little so your waist was now exposed to the cold air and before San. You could feel your lover’s body heat behind you as he began to position himself closer to you. Soft massages kneaded their way into your hips and you couldn’t help but rest your forehead on your arm as you tried your best to look back and get a good view of San.

From your peripheral, you could see how timid he was. He stared down at your ass, lip between his teeth and stepping just right to get the angle he wanted behind you. The grip of his massages became harder before his hands stilled and you felt him roll his hips into your ass.

The pressure of his heavy, clothed-cock pressing into your ass had your mouth running dry. It had been awhile since you had sex, of course respecting San’s choices into wanting to take it slow (which you also had wanted to as well, thinking that the wait would most definitely be worth it). For some reason though, the idea of not going all the way right now felt far more intimate than the act itself and that familiar feeling of warmth rushing to your core was making your body become hot and bothered quick, insanely quick.

San hadn’t moved, just resting his weight against you, hips pressed firmly into your ass. His breaths were deep and slightly heavy as you did your best at turning your body to get a better view of him; trying to take in the way his cheeks were flushed and how his mouth was red and puffy from how hard he was biting it. He couldn’t seem to take his eyes off the way his straining cock met the curves of your ass perfectly. 

“You’re doing good, baby. Just do whatever you think feels good,” You pushed your hips back against him, hearing him let out a sigh. “You know I'll be good for you, San.”

San let out a loud whine, running his hands up your back and raising your shirt in the process before lightly scratching his nails back down and hooking his fingers into your waistband.

“Y/N, can I- is it- is it okay if I take off your pants?” San rolled his hips against your ass again and you could tell he was trying to have some self-restraint, as if not to come too soon.

“Yes, please, fuck,” you groaned. San slowly rolled your pants down over the curve of your ass, pushing himself off you just enough to get them down your legs and helping you get them completely off before kicking them away from the bed.

“My underwear-“

“I know just- just let me,” San re-positioned himself behind you and when you turned your head to glance behind you, you noticed that San had also taken off his bottoms, only leaving him in his briefs and his sleep shirt which was mostly unbuttoned, leaving the expanse of his chest exposed enough to see the pink flush.

You turned back to rest your forehead against your arm, anticipating the feeling of San's heavy (and now more thinly layered) cock against your ass. 

You felt the bed dip on the side of your head, you turned to see San’s hand gripping the duvet as his other hand found contact with your hip again. He rolled his hips into you and as he did so you felt your underwear shift up and put tension on your clit. San soon fell into a steady pace of grinding his hips against your ass, occasionally leaning down to place kisses on your shoulder and suck and nip at the back of your neck.

“Y/N, baby, you feel so good like this,” San nipped at your ear, letting out a soft moan when he looked down at where the swells of your ass slightly jiggled every time he rolled his hips.

“Yeah? Feels good?” You turned your head to look at him as best as you could, almost all his body weight was on you as he began to rut his hips against your ass. You pouted your lips at him, silently pleading for the feeling of his lips on yours. He leaned down and indulged in you, lazily moving his lips against yours. In the midst of kissing, you caught his tongue with your lips and began sucking lightly. You felt San’s hips stutter and he moaned loudly with his tongue still trapped between your lips. San suddenly pulled away, his hair matted against his forehead, shirt ruffled and lips puffy. There were traces of drool going down his chin and the idea of kissing him until he became a wet, whiny mess had your mind reeling. 

“Something wrong?” You looked up at San, glancing down at the now more noticeable wet spot on his briefs, a mixture of your desire and his.

“Nothing, it’s just if I come, I wanna look at you. Flip over for me,” San placed his hands on your hips, “please,” shooting you a cheeky smile that had you giggling.

Once you flipped over, San positioned himself to where one of his legs was nestled between your thighs and pressed deliciously against your core. His head found purchase in your neck, attaching his lips and leaving love bites everywhere he could.

“You know, I've been trying not to come fast this whole time,” San breathed into your neck. “I’m just wondering how good it’s gonna be when we actually fuck,” he lifted his head to take a good look at you. 

He hadn’t realized how fucked out you actually were and it was a mental image he wanted to keep stored in his head for as long as he could. This time you were the one getting shy, the idea of San fucking you right now, eager and clumsy, was too tempting. Your panties were sticky and truthfully it was starting to get a bit uncomfortable, but San had moved his attention back to your neck, softly rutting against your hip bone which had his thigh rubbing against your clit. You involuntarily rolled your hips against his thigh, letting out a feathery moan.

San’s head snapped up from your neck, looking down at you with furrowed brows as he pressed his thigh harder into your clothed-heat. Your eyes squeezed shut as you let out another moan, head turning to the opposite side from San in embarrassment.

“San-“

“I want you to do what feels good too,” his hand grabbed your chin, gently pulling your face to look back in his direction again. His stare was too much, his eyes averting from yours to your lips and back to yours before he moved one finger to the tip of your mouth.

As if on instinct, you opened and welcomed his index finger, gently sucking and rolling your tongue around the length while doing your best to maintain eye contact.

San's eyes were solely focused on how your lips were so perfectly wrapped around his finger as the rest of his hand maintained a semi-hard grip on either side of your cheeks.

“Fuck, I can’t do this baby, I wanna come on you. Please, can I come on you?” San’s voice quivered as his eyes made their way back up to yours. With your mouth still occupied, you nodded, moaning around his finger as a means of saying yes.

He took his finger from your mouth, gently wiping it on the hem of his shirt before reaching for his shirt collar and swiftly removing it from his body and throwing it at the foot of the bed.

“It was starting to get too hot for that. You feeling okay?” San spoke, throwing a quick glance at you before he shuffled around on the bed and placed his hands on your knees to spread your legs to make room for him. 

“Shouldn’t I be asking you that?” You shifted, moving your legs around so he could slot himself between you. It took you a minute to realize that San was more bare than you, something that rarely happened. San wasn’t shy or insecure about his body, at least you didn’t seem to get that impression. You knew he took good care of himself and his physique, working out as often as he could in between study sessions or dance practices. Yet, you had come to the conclusion that maybe he just wasn’t as comfortable being shirtless in a lounge setting than you had initially thought.

“Maybe, but you didn’t answer me. How are you feeling?” San laid more of his body weight on you and instinctively you brought your hands up to feel the soft flesh of his chest.

“Feeling like I'm gonna overheat in this thick ass shirt but I also don’t wanna take it off.”

His gaze softened, placing pecks across your face. He started with your forehead, leading to your left cheek and then your right. As your eyes fluttered shut, he gently placed kisses on top of your eyelids, following down your nose to your chin and then ending at your lips.

“You’re beautiful, baby. And I'll tell you a hundred times a day- no! a hundred times an hour if i have too.”

“Can I wear your shirt?” You smiled sheepishly.

His eyebrow twitched before he began to frantically nod his head, scrambling across the sheets to bring it up to you. You sat up enough to slip your shirt off and quickly replace it with San’s with ease. Thankfully, San wore pajama sets so the shirt was thin enough to not overwhelm you. San reached up to your chest, unbuttoning a few buttons on his sleep shirt that revealed just the right amount of cleavage for him to mess with.

Once settled back on top of you, he shifted his weight so that his cock laid right between your folds. the wet stains on both of your underwear making the fabric feel much thinner.

“Fuck, Y/N,” San placed one last kiss before looking down between where your bodies met, rolling his hips with purpose against your clit. The friction of the wet fabric and the pressure of the tip of his cock rubbing deliciously against your sensitive bud made you feel like you were going insane and soon enough you found yourself rolling your hips with his.

“San, baby, you’re doing so good for me, you know that,” you moaned, wrapping a hand in his hair and gently tugging. He groaned, this time pulling back far enough to slam his hips against yours.

You moaned as your back arched slightly off the bed- you weren’t sure what had come over San, but his energy had changed so much that you had forgotten he was inexperienced.

“I'm so good for you, huh?” San said through clenched teeth, rolling his hips harder and faster. This new found discovery of San enjoying praise did something for you, making your mind reel of all the intimate endeavors that would take place in the near future.

“So good you’re gonna let me come on you? Let me come all over your panties and stuff it back up in that little pussy of yours?” He was looking at you now, bottom lip glossed with saliva from sucking it between his teeth.

“Shit,” you raised your legs higher as you spread them out more, “are you sure you’ve never done this, San? I didn't know you could be so mouthy.”

San hooked one of your legs under his arm as he shifted to get a better angle to rub his cock between you.

“You’re the one and only, baby,” he laughed, “Didn’t know I had it in me either.”

You laughed, before wrapping an arm behind his neck and pulling him down towards you for a kiss. This one was by far the messiest kiss you had ever shared with San. As he rutted against you, his lips moved against yours sloppily. Thin trails of spit formed around your mouths as you sucked and licked against each other's tongues- San pulled away just enough to speak.

“Fuckfuckfuck,” his thrusts against your clit became rougher, the fabric of your underwear rubbing against you hard. You wrapped one leg around his waist, putting pressure on his lower back and pulling him closer to your body.

“I think I’m gonna come, Y/N, oh, oh fuck-“ you looked up at San, fingers still wrapped in his hair. his brows furrowed together, mouth falling into a small, cute ‘o’ shape, feeling his hips began to stutter.

“I know, baby, go ahead,” you moved your hips against his, “you did so good. Go ahead and give it to me.” 

That seemed to set San over the edge, a high-pitched whine coming from his lips and you soon felt a warm liquid fall on top of your mound. You looked down to see San still coming, hot-spurts making their way through his briefs, the mental image of him coming inside and milking him dry making your mind reel. You moaned, bringing your hand up to his cheeks and pulling him forward in a lazy kiss.

You felt San’s hand make its way to the top of your waist band as he pulled away from you and looked down.

“I wasn’t joking about stuffing you with this Y/N,” San wiped at some of his come from your underwear with his middle finger before bringing it lower to your clothed-entrance. He prodded at the wet fabric, rubbing his come at where your hole was clenching eagerly to feel some type of release. You felt him push lightly against you, rubbing in circles his come-covered finger before applying more pressure. He quickly swiped up more before going back to your entrance and pushing his fingers inside you as best he could with your underwear still creating a barrier between the two of you. Your head fell back against the sheets and your hips moved lightly against his finger.

“San,” you moaned as a hand reached down to his wrist, holding it steady as your hips moved with more fervor. You felt his hand pull back as he shifted down to be face first with your pussy. Just as you were about to pout at the loss of contact, a harder pressure was applied. You glimpsed down through hooded eyes, taking your lip between your teeth as you saw San looking back up at you to gauge your reaction. 

This time his palm was pressed against you, cupping gently and moving up and down slightly as if he were giving you a massage.

“Grind against me, y/n,” San spoke softly, turning his head and pressing soft kisses against the inside of your thigh. He pressed his palm harder against your clothed-heat, turning his attention back to you. Your hips moved on their own accord, the fabric continuing to pull and rub against your clit. Breathy moans filled the room and San used his free hand to rub gently into your thighs and waist, occasionally reaching up to your chest and grabbing roughly through your (his) shirt.

You felt his hand pull away again, only to be quickly met with a light slap, a jolt rushing through your body as you let out a gasp. Your hand reached for the duvet, twisting lightly in your palm as you craved for that feeling again.

“Harder, please, harder,” your eyes squeezed shut as you moved your hips closer to San’s face, your way of asking for some release. The knot in your stomach began to coil tighter, waiting to be pushed over the edge. San dug the heel of his hand against your clit, moving softly as you moved your hips at your own desired and eager pace.

“Oh- oh fuck, baby, I’m gonna cum,” your hand made way to find grip in San’s disheveled hair, grabbing at the base of his locks and tugging with just enough force. In the haze of pleasure, you could make a distinction of moans that weren’t your own and you had just enough time to look down in between your legs to see San with his eyes shut and eyebrows furrowed and he let out a whine. His hand pressed harder against your clit one last time before the tension in your stomach snapped and your hips stuttered against his palm.

San moaned with you, keeping his hand pressed against you as you rode out your orgasm.

“That's it, want you to give it all to me,” he turned his head against your thighs again, placing small kisses and bites along the expanse of the fleshy skin. The lingering feelings of your orgasm soon finished and you’d fallen into a comfortable daze, loosening your grip in San’s hair and softly running your fingers through it instead. Your eyes began to flutter, forgetting about the stickiness in your panties. You snapped to your senses when you felt San move forward, still between your thighs and closer to your clothed crotch. 

He inhaled where you felt the wetness of both yours and his release was mixed together, letting out a low moan before he moved back up the bed so he was directly above you.

“You are such a perv for doing that, by the way,” you laughed as you ran your hands across his chest, taking note of the flush that was creeping up his neck.

“Hey,” he whined, leaning down to nuzzle into your neck. “You said I could do whatever I thought felt right,” you could hear and feel the pout in his voice.

“I didn't say I minded you being a little perv-y, if I wasn’t so sleepy right now I might try getting off again,” your arms wrapped around his back, nails lightly scratching up and down as you felt more of his body weigh against you.

“Is that so?” San spoke softly as his lips sucked love bites into your neck.

“It is,” you moved your head to the side, allowing more room for him to kiss and suck at your neck. “You know you sound cute when you’re all whiny, San.”

“Babe,” his voice dragged out as he rolled off you, embarrassed. Your laugh rang throughout the room as you turned to your side and reached out for San before he could make it too far out of reach.

“You know I'm teasing you, baby. Now can we clean up real quick before I pass out over here?” you placed a quick kiss on San’s lips before you began to get up from the bed, the stickiness between your legs becoming too unbearable.

San followed behind you quickly, grabbing your waist and pulling you in his arms.

“Thank you,” he whispered against your hair as he hugged you a little more tightly. You smiled against his chest as you wrapped your arms around his waist, this man was definitely going to be the death of you.

-

It hadn’t been very long since your previous intimate interaction with San, and you had noticed that he was much more keen on expanding and expressing his sexual interests with you. He was more clingy, and confident, and was constantly finding ways to express his sweet affections towards you, especially in the confines of your shared apartment.

He asked questions constantly about your own sexual interests, which you found both cute and endearing as most times (all the time) he’d stutter and get all flustered at the thought of even saying such crude things aloud so casually.

So today, when he asked you about your own self-pleasure experiences, you weren’t entirely caught off guard.

You both laid in the living room, sprawled on the couch, your head in his lap as his fingers softly scratched against your scalp. He was focused on something on his phone as you felt your eyes get heavier with the comfort of having your hair played with, the noise from the television being the right amount of white noise to allow you to doze off peacefully. San set his phone down on the arm rest, leaning forward slightly to get a glimpse of you.

“Babe, you still up?” San spoke softly, removing his hand from your head and bringing it to caress your cheek. You hummed, snuggling your head into his lap to get more comfortable.

“Hm… yeah, I’m up,” you muttered, your eyes finally blinking slowly before you shut them completely. You felt him lean back against the couch, hand still resting on your cheek, his thumb slowly running back and forth.

“Well if you’re up, like up up- awake up, then I have a question. Hm… something I’m curious about.” San spoke slowly, as if he was thinking of the right way to word his sentences so as to not come across a certain way. You nodded, having enough sense to know that your boyfriend wanted to talk to you seriously, forcing your eyes open as much as the sleepiness would allow.

“I’m up, I'm up… what is it, hm?” A silence followed as you waited for San to speak, you shifted in his lap so you were looking up right at him. his eyes focused on the television, but in a way that was zoned out and not actually paying attention to the content that was displayed on the screen.

“San?” your attention on him completely now, taking note of the way his eyebrows were furrowed together as his hand had slipped from your cheek amidst your shifting and was now lying comfortably across your neck. Hearing your voice snapped him out of his little daydream as he looked down out at you, the tips of his ears catching a blush.

“Oh, yeah. Um… I was just curious about- like- how do I say- uh,” his voice trailed off as he averted his attention back to the television. You waited expectantly, having an idea where this conversation might be leading to.

“Go on,” you spoke softly.

“Have you ever… touched yourself?” San whispered, as if speaking too loudly would get him scolded by the gods above. You couldn’t help but laugh, getting up from his lap and sitting up again on the couch to face him. Sleep was no longer something on your mind as your boyfriend never failed to catch your attention in conversations like this. He pouted, avoiding your eyesight and fidgeting with his fingers in his lap.

“Sorry baby, I don't mean to laugh. You’re just too cute when you get like this,” you leaned forward to place a quick kiss on his cheek before you leaned back and answered him properly.

“Yes, I have touched myself before. Who’s asking?” you teased.

San shot you a quick glance before facing forward again, shifting to sit up straighter. He cleared his throat before speaking once again.

“With a toy? Have you- uh- ever touched yourself with a toy?” His cheeks flushed as he moved his hands higher in his lap, crossing his legs. Your eyebrows raised, a slight smile forming on your face. You scooted closer to him, laying your head on his shoulder as you wrapped your arms around his bicep.

“Yes and no. I had like... one of those little bullet vibrators a long ass time ago that Heejin got me as a joke but ended up throwing that shit away ‘cause… well… it was a bullet vibrator,” you laughed, leaning your head further into his space.

“After that, it crossed my mind to maybe get actual toys. Like a vibrating dildo or a butt plug or something but it’s hard finding good sites that sell that shit discreetly and adult shops are just so… I feel too awkward,” your voice trailed, looking up to see San looking back down at you, waiting for you to finish your thoughts.

“You know how you see those videos of coffee shop baristas and they’re like ‘what your coffee order says about you’ or ‘what you look like based on your coffee order’ and it's a bunch of stereotypes that are lowkey kinda true? Yeah, I feel like that’s what would happen if I went to a sex shop. I mean, I think my kinks are pretty tame compared to extremists- at least I think they are- but… still it’s just so awkward,” you physically cringed. 

San nodded, laughing lightly at the comparison you gave between coffee shops and sex shops. You reached up to place your hand on his cheek and turned him to face you. 

“Are you asking me because you wanna get one?” You smiled mischievously.

“Well, you see, I was asking ‘cause, you know-“ San fumbled his words.

“We can if you want… I don't really mind. Is that what you were looking at on your phone?”

San nodded, reaching for his phone again, and stealing a quick glance at you before unlocking it and leaning into you so you both had a clear view of his screen.

The next hour was spent between looking at options before deciding on a generic vibrating dildo, deciding that you could upgrade later if need be. The estimated delivery time was said to be a week, so to your surprise at checking the mail room downstairs three days later with a package, was exciting to say the least.

On the way back to your room, you pulled your phone out, opening your chat with San.

y/n: bb look!

y/n: 1 file attachment

y/n: it just came in the mail... ;-)

y/n: tbh i'm surprised it got here so fast?? then again it says it came from that one town we drove thru on the way to my parents so ig it wasn’t that far??

-

“Hold on guys, gimme one sec,” San panted, breaking away from his friends and their current dance session.

“Aw shit, Mr. loverboy over here gotta answer to his girl,” Yunho teased, nudging Wooyoung as they both laughed amongst themselves.

San shot them both a teasing glare before picking up his phone and opening your messages. As he was getting ready to hit send, another message from you was delivered and soon after a photo attachment.

y/n: 1 file attachment

y/n: san omg

y/n: why does this thing look huge

y/n: its kinda cute tho good job picking it out

y/n: baby hurry up and get home plsplsplsplpslspsl need u nowww

“Whatcha looking at?” Wooyoung chirped, swinging his arm around San's shoulders and leaning towards his phone. Before San could push Wooyoung away, he was already opening his mouth.

“Damn! Is that a dildo? Since when did you get all freaky on us, man? Coulda sworn you were still a virgin!” Wooyoung grabbed his phone, clicking on the image you sent. Your hand was delicately wrapped around the base of the dildo, which was an opaque purple shade (color choice courtesy of San). Your hands did the toy no justice, because you were right- it did in fact look huge.

“Ay man, gimme my phone,” San said in his most assertive voice he could muster, not even bothering to panic or make frantic moves at Wooyoung- knowing how his friend was. It didn't help that his cheeks were tinted with a light blush and he could feel his cock stirring in his sweats at the thought of you begging for him to come home so you guys could get play around. 

“Hey, what happened?” Yunho came up to San and Wooyoung, looking between the two men. San’s phone pinged again with another message from you and Wooyoung took a quick glance, smirking, before handing the phone back to San.

“Well, our Sannie boy here seems to have gotten a bit mischievous these days, Yunho. I think we should wrap up practice early today, let him get back home to his girl,” Wooyoung said as he looked back at a confused Yunho.

San looked down at his phone quickly, wondering what could’ve possibly gotten Wooyoung to say such a response.

y/n: 1 file attachment

y/n: can’t wait to play w my sweet boy <3

The picture was of you already in bed, one of San’s shirts with some cute but simple black lace panties. Your knees were bent and the dildo was laying between your thighs as if to make it appear like you were wearing a strap-on.

San's eyes went wide, his ears feeling hot, and his stomach flipping knowing that one of his friends was well-aware about the kind of activities you and him were planning on having tonight.

“Oh yeah? I was actually planning on cutting practice early anyways. Mingi texted me asking if I could stop by the studio for some feedback on some of his and Joong’s songs for that showcase in a couple weeks,” Yunho eyed San carefully, who was staring at his phone screen intently. Wooyoung laughed as he caught Yunho's confused expression towards San.

“Alright, well I'm out then! I'll catch y’all later! I gotta meet up with Jongho and Yeosang for one of  our CompSci classes,” Wooyoung headed for the door, grabbing his jacket and bag from the rack. “Oh and San, one more thing,” Wooyoung turned around, waiting for San to look up at him and properly acknowledge him. San's attention averted to Wooyoung, waiting for him to speak.

“Don’t do anything I wouldn't do... and trust me, there’s not a lot out there I wouldn't,” he shot San a wink before slipping out the door.

“That guy, man,” Yunho laughed, shaking his head.

“Well, I'm gonna head out? Just text in the group chat when you wanna meet up again, you know when I'm free. Or let Seonghwa know,” San spoke quietly, his mind still reeling on the fact that you were home alone right now, horny, waiting for him. 

The feeling of his cock being constrained tightly against the band of his boxers turned into an aching sensation- god, he just wanted to be with you already.

“Yeah, I'll text you later,” the two men nodded at each other. San made his way to the door, and just before he had the chance to exit, Yunho called out to him.

“Ya!” 

San turned around, looking expectantly at Yunho.

“Don’t do anything I wouldn't do.” Yunho smiled, waving San off.

“Shut up, Yunho.” San laughed, giving him the middle finger and shaking his head.

And with that, San slipped out of the practice room, making his way to his car.

-

You were laid in bed, scrolling mindlessly between social media outlets, distracting yourself enough as you waited for San to get home from dance practice. 

[new notifications]

my bb: on my way home now, my love

my bb: ur kinda insane btw

my bb: sending pictures like that while im out

my bb: the guys ended practice early, had some other stuff they needed to do

my bb: ill be home in 5

You smiled reading the messages, excited to see your boyfriend after you’d both been busy with classes and any other extracurricular activities you guys were involved in, but even more so knowing that you were going to be able to try out your new toy.

When San had arrived home, you were sprawled out on your stomach, a blanket draped over your lower half, the dildo and your phone momentarily forgotten. The faint sound of music flooded the room, your eyes closed as you quietly sang along.

San was true to his word because 5 minutes later he was entering your room, jacket and shoes already off, pulling his shirt over his head and discarding it to the chair tucked under your desk. The bed dipped as you felt a hand lay across your back, opening your eyes to welcome San laying down next to you, shirtless, in the bottoms he wore to practice and sweaty hair.

“Hi,” you spoke softly, shifting to face San as a hand reached up to cup his cheek. Your thumb ran along the skin, his eyes fluttering at your soft touch. 

“How was your practice, hm?”

“It was fine. Probably one of our better ones in a while so I’m kinda pissed it ended earlier than I expected, but I'm home now so I’m not complaining.” He finished his thought with a kiss to the tip of your nose as his hand was rubbing up and down along your back.

“Well, I'm glad your home ‘cause that means I get to take all your attention.”

“Hm, so where is it? Where’s the- uh, you know…”

You smiled at San getting flustered over his words, leaning back to feel around the bed before you finally lifted the blanket to reveal the cute little toy. You reached for it, putting it between you and San as you looked back at him expectantly.

“Right here! Isn’t it cute?” 

You rotated the toy in your hands, there wasn’t much to admire apart from the color and thickness and the handle with the buttons at the bottom. San’s cheeks were flushed as his hands traveled to your waist, gripping firmly.

“Yeah.. yeah it is,” he nervously laughed. “Did you... already put batteries in it?”

“Mhm, but I haven’t tested it out yet. I was waiting for you to get home.” 

You pressed the tip of the toy into San’s pectoral, slightly shifting your hand around to press the power button at one of the lower settings, a faint buzzing echoing in your ears. San began to breathe heavier, his grip on your waist loosening as his eyes screwed shut.

“What… what are you doing?” San sighed, eyes opening slightly as he looked down at you.

“Do you trust me?” your hand stilled.

San nodded. 

“Wanna hear you say it, baby. Do you trust me?”

“Yes, fuck, I trust you. I trust you so much, please." San's eyes screwed shut again. He didn’t know what he was begging for, he just wanted something. Since he’d left the studio, he’d been fighting down his boner the whole ride home, wanting to wait for you to play with him. It felt as though every bone in him was going to snap if he didn’t get some form of release, and fast.

You used your free hand to lightly push him on his back, soon adjusting yourself to swing your leg over his waist. You leaned forward, pressing a light kiss against his lips before you rested your forehead against his.

You had nudged your nose against his softly, a butterfly kiss.

“Then lemme take care of you, sweet boy.” 

San let out a low moan, bucking his hips against you. You leaned back, pressing your weight against his cock, his chest heaving up and down quickly, arms tense at his sides. You let out a breathy laugh at his nervous reaction, suddenly feeling your own chest tighten with nerves. This was really happening, huh?

“Just relax, baby. I got you, okay?” You ran the toy that was still vibrating slightly down the middle of his chest, stopping right above his naval. 

“If you don’t like something, promise you’ll tell me, yeah?”

“Yes, yes, Y/N I’ll tell you, just- just please-” you looked below where your crotch was on top of San. He still had his practice sweats on, his cock straining so hard in the confinement.

“Is it okay if I take these off you?” 

You switched the vibrator off before tossing it to the side, getting up to stand at San’s feet which were hanging off the end of the bed. A quick yes was enough confirmation to slide his sweats off, once off your hand reached to his briefs, stopping just as your fingers hooked on either side of the band. 

“These too?” 

Another quick yes from San allowed him to be laying completely naked in front of you. His cock sprung, slapping against his naval, red and leaking with pre-cum- begging for some friction.

You crawled back up the bed, hands resting on either side of San’s head. You reached to his forehead to brush the hair that was beginning to curtain his eyes, feeling the sweat that was starting to form at his hairline. You leaned down, pressing your lips to the spot between his eyebrows and leaving a trail of kisses down to his cheeks and jawline before making a final round to his lips. His arms wrapped around your back, pulling you flush against his chest as his tongue slipped in your mouth.

You both stayed like that for god knows how long, lazily making out and groping one another, enjoying each other’s presence to the fullest. San pulled away from you, looking up at you with swollen, wet lips and flushed cheeks.

“Baby, I love kissing you so much, you know that, but my dick is so hard right now that I feel like I'm about to pass out,” he whispered, his hands pushing your shirt up and then making their way down to the swell of your ass.

You laughed, lifting yourself off of him to sit yourself in his lap but he stopped you before you could get yourself comfortable and situated.

“Wait! Wait... um- can you- would you mind taking these off?” San asked sheepishly, fingers hooking ever so lightly in the waistband. 

You felt yourself clench around nothing, you and San hadn’t been naked in front of each other like this. Not in such a lewd position at least, so the thought had your mind and body raging with nerves and excitement. You moved quickly to rid your panties from your legs, your essence following along and smearing on the inside of your thighs. San's eyes followed your movements and in the corner of your eye, you caught a glimpse of his dick twitching against his stomach. 

You climbed back on the bed, legs on either side of San’s hips, lowering yourself so the underside of San's cock was wedged between your pussy.

“Fuck,” San whined, hands finding purchasing on your waist again and making their way under the front of your shirt to grope at your bra-less chest. 

You were embarrassed at how turned on you were, but before you even had enough time to register that, your hips moved along San’s length. Your slick made your movements easier, stopping yourself just enough that your clit teased against the head of his cock. You felt San’s index finger flick against your hardened nipple, your hips stuttering as you let out a breathy moan.

“Baby, you’re gonna be the death of me you know that?” You moaned again as San brought his thumb up to pinch your nipple. “So cute, so good for me. Always treat me so good, fuck, got such a pretty cock too.” 

You reached to your side, grabbing the dildo and turning it on low. San's eyes followed your movement, you pressed the tip of the toy to slit San's cock. His body jolted under you, his mouth fell lax as his stomach tensed. Your free hand scratched lightly at his stomach, your other pressed the toy harder against the slit of his cock as you began to softly grind your clit along his length.

“Oh- oh my god- fuck,” San’s body shook as he let out a string of profanities. “It feels too good, y/n. I think I'm gonna come- fuckfuckfuck.”

“Go ahead, baby. You deserve it, go ahead and make a mess.” 

You moved your hips against his length faster, loving the way his stomach and thighs were flexing underneath you.

“I’m coming, oh fuck, oh-” San’s arms flew over his face as he let out a long whine. 

Hot, milky spurts painted his stomach and chest beautifully, a little bit shooting up underneath his chin and along his neck. you slowed your hips, taking in how fucked out your boyfriend looked like this.

You turned off the toy, setting it down next to you as you reached up to San, removing his arms from his face. His eyes were barely open, his whole face flushed as his bangs were matted against his forehead.

“Hey, you okay?” You whispered softly, planting a soft kiss to his lips. San hummed in confirmation, a soft smile forming on his face. 

“Good, lemme clean you up real quick.” You leaned back, swiping your finger at some of the mess on San's stomach and bringing it to your lips. To your surprise, San’s cock twitched ever so slightly, still red and half-hard.

You got up to grab the towel from your desk chair, walking back and softly wiping at San’s stomach, chest, and neck. Once finished, you settled in bed next to him, laying on your side.

“You didn’t come?” 

You shook your head no as your hand reached up to play with his hair.

“But don’t worry about it. Tonight was about you, okay?” 

San pouted, and in a blink of an eye he was hovering over you. both of his hands planted on either side of your head, his half-hard cock weighing down against your mound.

“Lemme take care of you... I wanna play with you too.” 

He sat back on his heels, his hands moving to your knees and spreading your legs apart so your pussy was on full display. Your breath hitched as you saw him reach for the toy, his hands twisting it around to maneuver the buttons on. The buzzing sound filled the room again and soon you felt a pressure against your clit.

Moaning, you looked down where San’s hand lay between your legs holding the toy. He was unsure what to do, it was clear on his face. You reached down to wrap your hand around his wrist.

“Here. Like this.” 

You moved the toy along your folds; San shifted on the bed so he was now laying on his stomach, his face adjacent from your pussy, teeth between his lips as he watched intently how you moved his hand around to pleasure yourself.

He turned the setting up a notch with his free hand, before moving it to grab underneath your thigh and placing it over his shoulder.

“Is it okay if I put- hm... put it in?” He asked, placing a quick kiss on your thigh before he turned his attention back to your fluttering hole.

“Yes, please baby, please put it in.”

You moaned as his hand moved the toy just right and the tip of the toy prodded at your entrance. The grip San had on your thigh tightened as the toy pushed its way in slowly. 

You couldn’t see, too enthralled in your own pleasure, but San’s hips had begun to rut against the bed. He’d been imagining his own cock in place of the toy, easing into you, stretching you out, making you shake, maybe even cry with how good it all fucking felt. He was eager to make you climax, so he continued to push the toy into you, giving the bed beneath him a particularly hard thrust as well.

Your walls fluttered against the toy, it’d been awhile since you’d felt so full. You’d touched yourself before but the width and length of your fingers was far different compared to how the toy felt inside you. Even far more different when it was your lover who was fucking you with it.

Your hand slid up your shirt, grabbing at your breasts as the other went to pull at San’s hair.

“Feels so full.” You moaned, your hips moving at the same rhythm of San’s hand. 

“Wish it was your cock making me feel good, want it. Want it so bad, baby.” 

You were close, so fucking close. 

San began to push the toy deeper in you all while kissing and biting at your thigh.

“Fuck- faster.” 

The grip on San’s hair tightened. The tension you felt in your belly ready to snap at any given moment.

“Like that?” San whispered, his hand pushing the toy in and out of you.

“Yes- don’t stop. please, please baby don’t fucking stop. I’m gonna come-” You squirmed along the bed, trying to move your hips along with the perfect rhythm that San had created. 

You felt him press your hips down to still you, his head moving forward as you felt his lips place a feathery kiss to your clit before giving it a harsh suck. You finally snapped.

“Oh fuck I’m coming- fuck! I’m coming.” You whined as your legs tried closing in around San to snap shut.

San didn’t let up on the sucking, still holding the toy deep inside you trying to make the most of your orgasm. He moaned against your clit, releasing from you with a faint pop and leaning his head against your thigh.

You looked down at him as he pulled to toy out from you, his eyes admiring how wet you’d made it. As if his curiosity got the best of him, he brought the toy to his mouth and wrapped his lips around the tip. His eyes met yours as his cheeks hollowed out, pushing the toy further in before pulling out and licking his lips clean. He made his way back up to you, putting all his body weight on you and nuzzling his face into your neck, letting out a sigh of content.

“You taste good, babe, wanna eat you out next time,” San whispered in your ear, his tongue playfully licking at your earlobe.

“I don’t know how you do it.” 

San lifted his head from your neck and peppered kisses all over your cheek.

“Do what?” He pushed himself off you, grabbing the towel you had used on him earlier and pushing your legs apart so he could gently wipe you clean. You used as much strength as you had left to bring yourself up to rest on your elbows, eyeing him.

“Drive me crazy, that’s what.” You laughed as your eyes trailed down to where San was laying earlier.

“Hey what’s that?” You pointed at the rather large spot on the comforter, San looked to where you were pointing, his eyes going wide.

“Holy shit… no fucking way.” Your jaw dropped in disbelief. “You came again? On the bed?”

“Well... yeah…” San mumbled, tossing the towel to the pile of discarded clothes.

You laughed, crawling your way across the bed to meet your boyfriend, arms wrapping around his neck as his naturally fell around your hips.

“You’re a naughty thing, you know that? Are you sure you’re a virgin?” You teased, no real malice or doubt in your voice. 

You leaned forward to kiss the tip of his nose, catching the way his lips curved into a small smile. 

“How ‘bout we run a shower and we can worry about the sheets later, hm?” San nodded at your suggestion, lowering himself to grab the back of your thighs before lifting you up. 

Your legs wrapped around his waist as he began walking to the bathroom. 

“Hey,” you spoke softly. He stopped in his tracks, moving his head to face you, waiting attentively.

“Just wanted to say I love you,” you kissed him, feeling him smile against your lips, the feeling never getting old. He pulled away from you, resting his forehead against yours.

“I love you more, pretty girl.”

-

The last time you and San had messed around was a lot farther than you both had gotten with each other, and the more that you guys explored and experimented with each other’s bodies, the more both of you found yourselves constantly looking for ways to feed each other affection.

San was aware of your sexual experience and at times when he was too lost in his head, he’d often feel insecure and wonder if the other people you’d been with were better- in any aspect really.

However, you constantly reassured him otherwise and for that he was more than thankful. Which led him to his current predicament.

You weren’t at the apartment, having had to run some errands for the day and San insisted on making time to hang out. He’d woken up too late that you’d already left to go do the things you needed to get done, so you suggested he just wait at home until you finished. Ever so quick to please, he found himself doing random chores around the place to keep himself occupied.

Today was laundry day, he dumped the basket of clothes on the bed that you had taken forever to fold (one of his little pet peeves but, still, he didn’t mind picking up the slack every now and then because he knew how busy you got.)

He hadn’t realized that the current load to switch from the laundry was your delicates (he zoned out quite a lot when he was left to his own devices), and for whatever reason he was feeling himself become more and more embarrassed as the seconds passed.

It was just panties, he didn’t know why he’d felt so shy about it. He’d seen you in your panties plenty of times, even if you were just lounging around in them. You were his partner, there was really no need to get all worked up, right?

No, there definitely was. He felt like a pervert feeling himself warm up at the thought of messing around with your intimate pieces of clothing without you here. But that feeling didn’t stop him from doing what he was about to do next. 

He kicked his shoes off, making his way to your bed and laying amongst your sheets. Flipping over on his stomach, he buried his face in your pillow letting out a soft sigh. It smelled like you, sweet and safe, mixed with the stench of clean linens. He laid like that a little longer, the feeling of sleep trying to grasp him and almost winning. It wasn't until he shifted around to lay on his back that he noticed the tent forming in between his legs.

“Jesus…” he muttered to himself, eyebrows furrowed in confusion. He was definitely more in love with you then he’d thought. You were always so understanding… so willing to let him explore his sexuality comfortably. but also so independent and level-headed, you just had so many qualities to you that he absolutely loved and made him feel loved and maybe that’s why just the thought of you drove him mad and never failed to awaken something deep inside of him. His heart swelled up each time you crossed his mind and for that he knew he was truly deep in some shit. 

For fuck’s sake- he was getting hard just being in your most intimate spaces- without you even here next to him!

He closed his eyes, hands fisting the sheets lightly. He didn’t want to get off right now, at least not until you got back or something. But the idea of also getting off in your bed, while you weren’t there next to him was also kind of exciting. He laid still for a few minutes, mentally giving himself a time frame to see if his erection would go away and if it softened- then that was that; if it didn’t… well he’d cross that bridge when he got there.

And much to his surprise, it didn’t soften. Getting up from your bed, he paced around your room. He was really contemplating the idea of getting off, wondering if he should text you and ask; you know- for the sake of being polite. But that idea sounded stupid and truthfully, he couldn’t bring himself to ask, not wanting to face any judgment you might have (little to his knowledge, you found it hot that San had his little perv-y moments- but you weren’t going to tell him that). 

Amongst his pacing, his hip bumped into one of your dresser drawers that had been left slightly open amidst your morning routine.

“Ah- fuck!” San grabbed his hip, rubbing harshly to soothe the pain. He looked down at the drawer he bumped into, noticing a mixture of patterns of lace and cotton intertwining with each other. His curiosity never failed to get the best of him, he reached for the drawer, hooking his fingers around the edge and pulling it open, bracing himself.

He’d already known what to expect when he opened the drawer quite truthfully, but god did he still feel a little shameful when he felt his cock twitch in his sweats looking at your panties that laid messily folded in the drawer below him.

He reached for the contents hesitantly, his eyes catching on a pair he remembered you wearing for one of your date nights. It was a black lace piece, the pattern soft and elegant like you, he thought to himself, with a tiny little pink rose placed atop a bow. that night you’d worn them, you and San were leaving a restaurant when your shoelaces had come undone- and ever the gentleman, San had offered to tie it for you. Insisting that he didn’t want you to bend down and worry about your skirt riding up or you flashing anyone, and maybe he’d taken a quick look up your skirt when you weren’t looking (you definitely noticed) but that was a story for another day.

Once he grabbed the panties, he noticed that the lace was a lot smoother in his hands than he thought, he wondered if you’d ever bought lingerie for him- or for your other past partners. He shook the thought from his head, not wanting to think about you being with other people right now- past or not.

His mind wandered as he remembered the first time you laid in front of him, in his shirt and panties, his hot come laying on your mound as you looked completely fucked out. San’s grip tightened around your panties as he debated this dilemma internally.

“Fuck it,” he muttered to himself as he closed the drawer with his other hand and made his way to your bed. He moved around, so that his body was half sitting up and half laying down against your sheets. If he was going to do this, he wanted to at least be comfortable.

 His cock was throbbing and it was starting to be painful, that familiar wet patch seeping its way through his underwear and sweats as if welcoming him for indulging in his sinful desires.

He bunched his shirt to his chest and pulled his bottoms down to just above his knees; his cock slapping against his naval, red and shiny.

He let out a soft moan at the contact, mind turning to mush as the smell of your sheets was making him feel so… safe. He gripped himself at the base, bringing his other hand that had your panties to his nose. his hand flinched, his thoughts making him second guess himself one last time before he inhaled deeply, tightening his grip around his cock.

“Fuck,” he whined, inhaling your panties one last time before bringing it to the tip of his cock and slowly wrapping the fabric around himself. The feeling of the lace was different and for a split second his mind entertained the idea of what it’d be like to wear them while he got himself off to the thought of you, but he was too desperate now- the thought leaving his mind just as fast as it had entered his head. 

He palmed the head of his cock, the lace rubbing against his slit, while his other hand tugged at his balls.

He felt dirty, filthy… utterly sinful. But he didn’t care as he kept stroking himself as he remembered the blissful look of you coming hard on that toy you’d both picked out. The hand that was tugging himself found his way up his stomach, lightly raking his nails against the skin before sliding under his shirt and stopping at his hardened nipple.

“Baby, please,” he whined softly. It was useless to beg, you weren’t there of course but he couldn’t help himself. He pictured himself between your legs again, this time having you ride his face. Using him however you wanted, his tongue prodding against your hole as he sucked and sucked and sucked against your clit. 

He flicked his nipple before giving it a quick pinch, his hips jerking off the bed against his panty-covered hand. He moved his hand free from his chest, bringing it down to his cock so both of his hands were wrapped around his shaft. Your panties covered his tip completely as he began to rut his hips upwards, both hands moving along with his hips.

He was close, so fucking close and it was all happening to quick.

“Fuck,” San groaned, “fuckfuckfuck,” his hips moved faster as his imagination kept going on and on with different scenarios of how he wanted to ravish you. Images of him fucking you in every position you could imagine, ran through his head. 

But the one that sent him over the edge was you on top, riding him dangerously slow, playing with your tits. In his head, you’d reached down and grabbed his chin, asking him so sweetly to look at you and open his mouth- and he did. you’d lean over him, letting go of his chin before making him stick his tongue out and grabbing the tip of it with your fingers and holding it firmly, leaning down and whispering obscene things to him- about him.

How he was so good for you, letting you fuck him dumb and never even imagining that he’d let you take control of him like this.

“Oh my fucking god I’m gonna come, please, oh my god,” San whined. “Wanna be good for you, so fucking good baby, please, feels so fucking good.” 

His hips stuttered as his eyes closed shut, a deep moan coming from his chest. He opened his eyes enough to look down, he felt like he couldn’t stop coming, his come seeping through your panties and sliding down his fisted hands.

For his own, twisted pleasure, he continued to stroke himself. Swiping at some of his come and bringing it to his slit, running his index finger back and forth. His body shivered, he wondered to himself if he could come again- Maybe if he really tried, but he knew as long as you ran through his head, anything was possible.

However, he was snapped out of his post-orgasm daze when his phone began to ring. He searched the bed looking for the sound, finally grabbing his phone and seeing your name flash against the screen. His heart pounded against his chest as he hit the green button.

“Hey, babe, what’s up?” He cleared his throat in hopes of not sounding too… off.

“Hey, was just calling ‘cause you weren’t answering my texts- just wanted to make sure you were good.” 

You mumbled something after that he couldn’t make out, hearing a faint honking noise in the background. 

“Anyways, I'm on my way back to the apartment, but wanted to see if you needed me to stop and get anything? You hungry?”

“No, I'm okay, just drive safe. I miss you.”

You laughed.

“I miss you, too, baby. You okay, though? You sound kinda off?”

“No- yeah, yeah I’m fine! Was just dozing off waiting for you, s’all.”

“Mhm… right.” 

Your voice dragged, not entirely convinced. 

“Okay, well, I’m not that far so I'll see you in a sec. Love you!”

“I love you more,” and with that you both hung up.

San set his phone down, laying his head back against your pillows as he looked up at the ceiling. He felt himself soften in his hands, the lace of the panties laying across more of his lower half. He entertained the thought more adequately this time, wondering what it’d be like to wear something like this, how would he look if you fucked him stupid while he wore-

“What the fuck?” he mumbled to himself, shaking his head as if to rid himself physically from the thought. He got up, looking for something to clean himself with as he tried to figure out where to put your now-stained panties.

Once that was decided, he laid back in your bed. Shuffling under the covers and recapping everything that had happened within the last hour. He shut his eyes briefly and on cue, the door beeped, signaling you had just gotten home.

He laughed to himself both in disbelief and embarrassment, you were really making him question everything. But for some reason, he didn’t mind as long as it was you.

-

It had been a few days after you had run your errands and had come back home to San lying around (quite suspiciously might you add) in your bed.

You didn't want to press him on it, but that didn’t keep you from having your own suspicions. Letting whatever it was that he was hiding, to let it be. Which you figured it couldn't have been that bad to begin with regardless, just that he had maybe been a bit... mischievous.

But it was the thought of him being alone in your room for that long, and knowing him, he intentionally or unintentionally snooped around.

Today was a laundry day though, you had grabbed your hamper and dumped the clothes on your floor so you could separate the delicates and the colors.

Amidst your separating, you noticed the black lace pair you'd worn ages ago, on one of the first dates that you and San had gone on.

You guys were walking back to the car when he had stopped you, letting you know your shoelace had come undone. Just as you were about to bend down and tie your shoe, he stopped you, insisting you shouldn't because you were wearing a skirt and he didn't want you to be uncomfortable. As he fell to his knees, you shifted your legs slightly, moving one foot out so he could tie your shoe easier. In doing so, your skirt raised, allowing your underwear to be seen. San's head turned, taking a quick peek and trying to memorize the lace pattern that was laying across your skin. You definitely noticed, turning your head away and smiling to yourself.

You reached for the pair, wondering to yourself when it was that you had worn them, dropping them once you realized that the pair had faint, white residue. Your eyebrows furrowed as you thought of all possibilities as to why your underwear would have dry cum on them.

Did... San...? You wondered, before thinking of ways in which you should ask him about it, or even if you wanted to. You decided to leave it be for now, ready to be over with your daily chores for the day.

-

[new notifications]

y/n: babe~

y/n: r u ready

y/n: im abt to be there in 5 :] 

San's phone buzzed from his shelf as he finished gathering up the rest of his items for your guy's trip. It was your first trip together, and he wasn't too sure about you, but he was definitely excited because this was finally going to be it. 

You had both talked about finally going all the way together, and San insisted at least creating a little world away from the craziness of your everyday lives so he could fully enjoy you. You thought it was sweet and honestly, he was the only boyfriend you had who was so adamant on constantly trying to create the perfect atmosphere to show his deep love for you, and it made your heart swell every single time.

His phone buzzed again, he glanced down at his watch, seeing a new message from you saying you were here. He walked over to the shelf where his phone was, grabbing it along with his weekend bag and heading out.

You waited patiently in the car, your thumbs tapping against the steering wheel to the rhythm of the music playing in the background. You snapped out of your mindless daze when you felt a knock against the window, you turned your head, meeting San's eyes as he pointed to the back of your car, signaling you to open the trunk.

Moments later he was sliding in the passenger seat next to you, leaning over the console and placing a soft kiss on your cheek.

"Hi baby," he said as he leaned back and hastened his seat belt over his chest, securing it in the buckle.

You smiled, "Hi, how'd you sleep?"

"Good, I think," he reached for your hand as you put the car in drive, listening idly to where the GPS was telling you to go. "Missed you, was excited all night for this trip," he brought your hand up to his lips, pressing a soft kiss.

You hummed, "You're awfully affectionate today, you really missed me that much, huh?"

San let out a light laugh, "I miss you everyday."

A comfortable silence shortly fell between the both of you as you continued to drive.

-

You pulled up to the Airbnb, which San had reserved for the holiday weekend. Calm waves hit the shore, and the sound of birds chirping echoed softly in the distance.

You put the car in park, nudging San slightly to get his attention.

"Look," you nodded your head in front of you. "Isn't it beautiful?"

"Wow," San leaned forward in his seat, his mouth open in awe. "It is... can't believe we get to spend the holiday here."

"C'mon, let's go check it out," you smiled before stepping out of the car.

You made your way to the house, San following behind. You opened the door, taking note of the spacious interior.

You felt San's arms wrap around you, him leaning down and placing soft kisses along your cheek before making his way up to your ear.

"All this space just for us, hm," he poked his tongue out, laying a soft lick against your lobe. "Wanna take you on every. Single. Surface."

You leaned back against him, your eyes fluttering shut at the feeling of him being so close.

"Yeah yeah, you can after we get settled in," you hummed, pushing yourself off him and making your way further into the house. You set your keys on the counter, taking one last look at the Airbnb before turning back to San and making your way to the door. As you were about to pass him, your hands tapped at his chest before pulling him with you.

"C'mon, you nasty boy, let's unload the car," You said, a light laugh from San following shortly after.

-

You stepped out the restroom, your robe hanging carelessly around your body as you tried drying off your hair as best as you could.

"Babe, I still don't know why we can't just shower together," San grumbled from the bed.

"'Cause," you mumbled, making your way to your suitcase. "I still get shy."

You rummaged through your clothes, looking for some undergarments and a lounge shirt. Quickly slipping them on, your eyes caught a peek at that specific pair you brought with you. You turned around to quickly glance at San, seeing that he was sprawled on the bed, shirtless and in sweats. His arms were crossed over his face as he mindlessly sung to himself. You reached down for the pair, finally turning around and tossing them onto San's chest.

His body gently flinched at the contact in surprise, before he moved his arms down and looked at what was laying on his chest. His body froze.

"Y'know I'd been meaning to ask you if those looked familiar," You said as you walked over to the bed, climbing your way up to seat yourself in San's lap. He looked up at you, his ears and face turning flush as he hummed in response.

"I was doing my laundry before the trip and well," You reached for the underwear before dragging it across his stomach. "I like to separate my delicates and colors and such... and I couldn't help but notice those were dirty."

"I also couldn't remember the last time I had worn them, at least recently. Do you know what they were dirty with, San?" 

He looked up at you briefly, his cheeks flushed and eyes full of guilt. Despite that, you felt him growing hard underneath you. you didn't give him a chance to answer before leaning down next to his ear and whispering, "They were dirty with someone's cum, baby... can you believe it?"

He let out a soft groan, his hands reaching for your waist before making their way down to your ass and gently groping you.

"Fine, fine. I'm guilty, you got me." His eyes squeezed shut as he gripped your ass more rough, before rolling his hips up into you.

You gasped, your chest pressing flush against San. "I wasn't expecting you to admit it so fast."

"Yeah, I know. I'm embarrassed, but right now I don't care. Just want you to touch me," His hands removed themselves from your ass before bringing them up to the back of your neck and pulling you into a kiss.

The kiss was slow and lazy, your hands making their way to lay gently on top of San's chest.

"Mm, babe," your voice muffled against San's lips, he hummed, pressing his lips harder and grabbing your ass tighter. You managed to pull away, pressing your forehead against his, opening your eyes slightly to see his eyes still shut.

"San," you whispered, pulling away completely to look down at him from being seated in his lap. You took note of the way his body stayed flush, the light sheen of sweat glistening in the dim light, his pink swollen lips, to the way his sweats were snug around his hard cock. 

"Why don't you..." Your hands slowly moved around his chest, the tips of your fingers grazing his skin like a feather, before stopping at the buds of his nipples. "Why don't you show me how you made a mess on my panties in the first place, huh?" Your fingers moved on their own, lightly pinching the buds between them and giving them a soft tug, testing the waters.

San moaned, his shoulders squirming against the mattress, "S-show you? Yeah, yeah I can do that, j-just lemme- ah," He opened his eyes to look up at you, the glossy look he had during moments like this never failing to make you weak. He lightly tapped your ass, signaling you to get off him, in which you complied. You shuffled along the bed until your back was leaning against the headboard, your shirt scrunched to your waist leaving the top of your thighs exposed. San moved next to you, moving himself around the bed until he managed to squirm his way to lay between your legs, his back pressed against your stomach and his head resting against your shoulder.

"You..." San's hands found their way to lay on the sides of your thighs, gently squeezing. "You said to show you, so I just thought... that maybe this would be... the best view I could give you." San's voice barely above a whisper, his head turning to look up at you. You nodded, looking back at him, leaning in to give him a quick kiss, your legs bending to place your feet on his waistband, doing your best attempt at trying to slide his sweats down.

His hands wrapped your ankles, leaning forward and giving each one a swift kiss before gently placing them on either side of his hips and laying back against you. He shimmied his way out his sweats before kicking them to the edge of the bed, his naked body on full display before you.

"It feels nicer like this," San said, his voice having a gravel edge to it. "When I was in your bed, I didn't have the luxury to be naked like I am now.." his cock looked angry laying against his stomach, beads of pre-cum smearing against the tight skin of his lower stomach. You stared in awe, before looking briefly at San's face, his hair falling into his eyes. You reached a hand to lay in his hair, swiping the hair upwards and running your nails gently back and forth against his scalp. San sighed, his cock jolting against his stomach, his head following the caresses of your hand.

"Y/n... you know," San’s hands clenched repeatedly against his sides before reaching down to wrap around his length. “There was so much that I was thinking about when I was laying in your bed.”

His hands massaged his length slowly, occasionally reaching down to tug at his balls before continuing his ministrations on himself.

You felt the wetness growing between your legs, your eyes skimming every part of his body displayed before you. the sheen of sweat forming at the base of his neck and trailing down the wide expanse of his chest. Your hands moved to his shoulders, gently caressing down his arms.

You hummed waiting for him to continue, shifting your hips as best as you could in your current position.

“You were on top, riding my face, and I was letting you do whatever you wanted to me, it just- ah- felt so good... knowing you were so good- feelin’ so good and-” San let out a loud moan, throwing his head back against your shoulder, eyes screwed shut. his hands tugged harder at his length, his thumb playing at the sensitive slit.

“What else, hm?” Your hands made their way to his nipples, testing the waters again and gently grazing against the hardened buds.

San's body caved in on itself at the sudden contact, rushing to tell you to wait.

“You okay?” You managed to get out, feeling your chest squeeze.

“Sorry, yes yes, I’m okay, it’s just.. if you keep doing that I’ll come too soon.”

"Here, lemme get up." 

San moved forward to let you move from behind him. 

"Lay back." 

His hand released his cock as he shifted around before finally grabbing a pillow and resting it behind his head. You shuffled to sit on top of him, not fully planting all your body weight down. San's breath hitched. Your hands reached for the knot of your robe, slowly untying it to reveal yourself before San and letting it fall down the expanse of your shoulders and back. 

San's eyes focused on every part of you, the way your nipples were perked from being aroused and the slight cool air that was slowly turning hot. The way your soft flesh was flushed, the way your thighs looked caging his frame at his hips. But his eyes really caught focus on the way your pussy was beginning to drip with wetness onto his cock. "Is this okay?" You quietly asked, leaning forward to rest your hands on either side of his head. 

"Perfect, you're perfect. It's perfect. C'mere." San reached around the best he could to pull you down to meet his lips by the back of your neck. His hands resting on either side of your face, thumbs caressing your cheeks as your tongues swirled around each other. You felt yourself relaxing, your chest pressed against his and finally seating yourself on top of his cock. San moaned, his hips bucking up quickly, the tip of his cock briefly rubbing against your bundle of nerves. You pulled away from his lips, meeting his eyes before resting your forehead on his. 

"Did you want to... you know," Your voice trailed off in a whisper. 

"Please, yes. Yes, did you-" 

"We can stay like this if that's okay with you, I really don't mind." 

"That's okay," San gulped. Suddenly feeling his nerves spike. He wasn't worried about anything other than cumming quickly. Which would be as expected, considering his circumstances. But he had some hope that he could last at least enough time to help you reach your climax. Regardless, he trusted you.

You pushed yourself up, suddenly feeling anxious. You reached down to grab at the base San's cock, lining it up with your entrance. You could feel San's eyes staring at where his cock and your pussy were able to meet. He felt heavy in your hands, each throb a reflection of his unwavering desire for you. You lowered yourself on him, your essence making it easier for you to slide down. It had obviously been a while since you had actual sex, and pleasuring yourself did not compare to the feeling of having the man you loved inside you. The tip of his cock had pushed through, you felt yourself clench around the intrusion. You and San let out a moan in unison. 

"Why- Why do I feel like I'm gonna come?" San said in a strained voice as his hands fisted the sheets, stomach tensing beneath you. 

"Just- Wait-" You breathed out, letting all your weight down on San's cock. The feeling of him stuffed fully inside of you made you feel dizzy nonetheless. San let out a long whine, he pushed himself up from the mattress to meet your body, pulling you in a tight hug. 

"I love you so much, so so much. You don't even understand." San grumbled into the crook of your neck, placing kisses along the spot where your ear and neck met. You let out a needy whine, reaching your arms around his back to embrace him as well. You moved your hips as best as you could given the current position, grinding in small circles. San pulled away, one of his hands reaching to grope at your chest. 

He leaned down, kissing along the valley of your chest that led down to your nipple. His mouth closed around the perked bud, his tongue swirling around delicately. You let out a moan, your hands reaching up to take hold of his hair, nails gently scraping against his scalp before gently tugging at the roots.

San's hands reached around you again, his nails softly scratching down against the expanse of your back before finding purchase on your ass. He gripped the flesh with firmness, pulling you down as he tried to buck up into you. The tip of his cock grazed the cervix ever so slightly, causing you to let out a sharp whine. 

"Sannie, baby, do that- do that again." That was the first time San heard you call him that. It triggered something in him, but he couldn't quite explain it. He brought your hips down again as he bucked up into you, leaning forward and clumsily capturing your lips in a kiss. 

His cock twitched inside you, it didn't take much to know that he was close. You were honestly surprised that he had held out this long but then again you two had fooled around before this so how surprising could it really have been. You pulled away from his lips, leaning in for one last peck before moving your hips with more fervor. 

"C'mon baby, I know you're close. It's okay, you can let it out."

If you had to ask San to relive one moment from his life again before he died, he'd think he'd confidently say that it'd be this moment. He actually might be dramatic, it would probably be an entirely different moment, but his mental, his senses, his heart, was so consumed with the thought of you that he was sure that if he died right now, he’d die a happy man.

There was something about the way that you always softly demanded him or guided him during these intimate moments- there was a gentleness mixed with a sternness in your demeanor that drove him insane.

He gave one last buck of his hips, the plushness of your ass jiggling slightly against his hands before he felt the tension that was in his balls release.

San held you close, his head falling on your shoulder and leaning into the crook of your neck. The loud groan being the only thing that you could hear, you felt your body shudder at the feeling of hot ropes of cum painting your gummy walls. You sat there on the bed in each other’s embrace for what felt like an eternity, San was the first to say something.

“Baby.”

You hummed, your hands rubbing up and down his back, your fingertips grazing his skin with the softest caress you could muster.

“Can I eat you out?”

“What?” You pulled away to look San in the eyes, only to find him avoiding your gaze.

“I’m serious, I know you didn’t get to… finish and I don’t really care that you know…”

You shook your head, moving to get off him to lay down. The feeling of his cock instantly slipping out of you having your pussy clench. You were stuffed full of him seed, not realizing how much he’d actually came until it began to dribble down the insides of your thighs.

You settled on your back, eyes shut from shyness.

“Fuck,” You heard San whisper as he turned his body to get a better view at you. His hands grabbed at your knees pushing them forward to your chest.

“Hold them for me.”

“No way…”

“What?”

“I still can’t believe you’re this nasty, San. Are you sure you haven’t been jukin’ me this whole time?” You let out a breathy laugh, your pussy clenching again as San’s hands massaged the back of your thighs before dragging them closer to your pussy.

He laughed with you, his pointer fingers spreading your lips open. You couldn’t help but moan, feeling his seed dribble down. 

“Say you want it,” San said, pausing his movements.

“What?”

“Say you want it- tell me how bad you want it,” San’s eyes stayed focused on the way you kept clenching around nothing.

This was definitely new, San never feigned feeling some type of way about always falling into a more submissive role during your previous intimate times together. You could confidently say this was a type of reassurance he wanted. You felt yourself gulp, eyes screwing shut once again.

“Want it…” You mumbled. Before you even had the chance to repeat yourself louder, you felt a sharp sting on your inner thigh which ignited a surprised yelp from you. You hadn’t expected the palm of his hand to meet so harshly with your skin.

“Sorry I-”

“It’s okay, San. I promise it’s okay- God, please do that again, want it so bad. Want you so fucking bad, please. Just fucking do something.”

San couldn’t understand what he was feeling, seeing your fucked out face, squirming and moaning for him to touch you. It was always him that was left to this role, and don’t get him wrong- he definitely enjoyed it. You made him feel safe and comforted, but prior to this trip when he had wondered about your previous partners and finally losing his virginity to you… he really couldn’t help but wonder how he could make you feel that same safe feeling during sex that you never failed to make him feel.

He wanted you to crave him the same way he craved you.

He quickly maneuvered himself to be eye level with your core and wasted no time in wrapping his lips around you. His tongue poked and prodded at your hole, tasting himself on his lips. He pressed his palms down into your thighs trying to spread you out the best he could as he continued to suck and lick at your most sensitive parts.

“Wait, oh fuck- Don’t stop.” You threw your head back into the mattress, you could feel your clit throbbing as you tried bucking your hips up into San’s mouth.

“Right there, you’re doing so good, baby. Right there- fuck-”

San felt his chest grow in pride, continuing to lick and prod at your clit. His tongue swirled around the overstimulated bud, he could feel your legs switching between relaxed and tensed. He pressed his tongue flat against your core, letting you grind against his face. He was determined to make you cum without his fingers.

“Oh my god- I’m gonna- Shit, I’m coming baby, I’m coming, ooh my god,” You let out a long whine, trying to shut your legs around San’s head but with no prevail. 

It happened suddenly, your orgasm crashing down and in a blink of an eye you felt one of your things being pressed open while you felt fingers enter you.

“Wha-”

“Gimme one last one, I know you can.”

Somehow San had moved to be parallel from your laying body, hovering above you as best as he could while his fingers drilled into you tight cunt.

His eyes focused on your face, the way you struggled to keep your eyes open and your eyebrows were pursed forward. There was no real rhythm to his fingers, part of him had only vaguely remembered how people fingered each other in videos. And even he knew those weren’t good examples to go off of.

“Come on, baby. I know you can cum for me one more time.”

Your mouth fell open in a silent moan, and suddenly all you could feel was San in every one of your senses. His smell, his body heat, his presence, his gaze on you… he was clouding every bit of your mental. The knot if your stomach was ready to snap, and you couldn’t even bring yourself to try and tell San that he was hitting that sweet spot. Could he even tell? You didn’t think so, but you could tell this orgasm was going to be different from all your prev-

“Look at you, holy fuck-” San began rubbing your clit quickly. “Baby, you’re fucking squirting for me.”

Your ears were ringing, and truthfully you could barely hear what San was saying. Your mind was entirely clouded, and you didn’t even have the strength to respond. Your body shuddered, and all you could muster up was weakly wrapping your arms around San and pulling him down on top of you.

“Hey, you okay?” San’s voice never failed to show his concern as he tried turning in your grasp to get a look at you.

You weakly hummed in response before speaking, trying to wrap your arms more comfortably around him.

“Feels like… feels like I’m on a cloud. Don’t want you to leave me, feels good. Here- Feels good you’re here. With me.” You rambled, fighting to keep your eyes open.

“I’m not going anywhere, baby.” San whispered, softly kissing the first piece of skin his lips could reach. He moved one of his hands to rest at your side, caressing his thumb back and forth lightly.

“Was it too much? I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have-” San mumbled into your skin.

“Shh.” San looked up at your face expectantly.

“I like this side of you, too, it was perfect, Sannie.”

He smiled, leaning back down to give you a swift kiss.

“You did good for me, by the way. And of course, always an overachiever…” There was a tilt to San’s voice as he spoke.

“Me? That’s definitely you, I was fine with not finishing after you came.”

“Oh really? Well, I wasn’t,” he playfully retorted.

“And this is why you’re mine, because you treat me so well,” you smiled, eyes still shut.

“And on that note, lemme get you cleaned up.”

“I don’t wanna take another shower right now, can we at least nap for a little before we do? I genuinely can’t feel my legs, I think.” 

“Fine, but I’m setting a timer for an hour. At least go pee.” San got up, his bare body facing away from you as he reached into one of his bags that was placed on one of the chairs in the corner of them. He walked back towards you, opening a package of wipes, gently wiping at the insides of your thighs as best as he could. He reached down to grab hold of your hand, tugging slightly to pull you up.

“An hour…” you echoed with a slight pout, looking back at San.

“Two at most.” You felt a content smile creeping on your face.

“Hold on, I’m gonna carry you, m’kay?” He reached hold of your back, lifting you so you could wrap your legs around his torso as he walked to the bathroom.

He placed you on the tile floor, stepping away and shutting the door behind him.

“I’m gonna strip the bed sheets, we might have to run into town to grab some detergent to wash… Lemme know when you’re about to come out though so I can grab your robe.” San’s head peaked through the door, giving you one last smile.

“Thank you.”

And with that he closed the door behind him.

-

You woke up to the alarm San had set going off and feeling insanely hot, your robe was exposing your naked body underneath and your legs were tangled with San’s.

In fact, most of his body was practically smothering yours and though you loved him dearly, you needed him to get off of you to cool down.  

You did your best to wiggle yourself free, but to no avail, San’s arms stayed holding you tightly.

“Why you trynna run away from me, huh?” San grumbled against your hair.

“I’m not running away, you’re literally a furnace.”

You tried kicking the blankets off with the little leg strength you had. San threw his leg over yours, pulling you as close as possible. Both of you fell into a fit of laughter, trying to squirm for freedom.

“San, let. Me. Go.” You laughed, pushing your body weight against him to free yourself from his hold.

“Never.”

“Please.”

“Nope.”

“You said we would only take a nap for two hours and then rinse off.”

“I know what I said.”

You laughed, eyebrows raised at his sudden sassiness.

“So since you know, let’s get up. You wanna run into town later, right?”

San hummed, his hand coming up from holding you to push your robe further off your back. His lips began softly kissing at your hot skin.

“Lemme have you one more time before we shower.” He grumbled, his lips now puckering to suck love bites against your shoulder. His hips pressed forward and you felt his cock begin to get hard against your lower back just above the swell of your ass.

“Seriously.” You moaned in disbelief, pushing your hips back to meet his. His teeth nipped at your skin, not hard enough to cause you any pain but enough to feel yourself getting aroused.

“I’ll make it quick, I promise.”

“Fine.” You huffed out, letting yourself relax your body into San’s, letting him touch you however he pleased.

San was right, he made it quick. He had his way with you while you guys spooned, thrusting his hips shallowly against your ass as he hit all your sweet spots. This vacation was definitely going to have both of you spent, and with San’s new found stamina, you were unsure if you were really going to be able to keep up.

-

It wasn’t long until you guys finally found the courage to get up and rinse off, deciding to finally make your way into town and grab a few things from the grocers.

“You said we needed detergent, yeah?” You said, pushing the cart down the aisle as San focused on items on the shelf.

“Yeah, detergent and then whatever snacks you want.”

“Snacks… okay, you want me to meet you in the frozen section?”

“That’s fine. I’mma grab some fruits and other stuff then head that way.”

You hummed, making your way to the other side of the store to select your items.

Five minutes, maybe ten at most, had passed until San finally made his way back to meet up with you. Reaching the cart, he dumped his items in.

“Ready?”

“Yeah let’s-” You stopped, eyes falling on two bottles of lube that San had thrown in with the rest of his items that consisted of sugary snacks and fruit.

“What?” He paused, waiting for you to finish. His eyes trailed down to what you were looking out before continuing, “Look you can never have too much, okay? Also, I made a promise when we first got here.”

And with that, San walked his way to the front of the store where the registers were, turning around briefly to motion you to follow before walking again.

-

When you guys had gotten back from the store, you both decided to put in a frozen pizza in the oven and ate quickly, finding refuge on the couch shortly after to relax. You guys had the bed sheets in the washer, currently laid up on the couch. The television played some movie that San had decided on, something about volleyball, you weren’t tracking too much to be quite frank.

You laid on top of San, feeling his heartbeat pound against your ear. His hands gently scratched against your back, as if he were to press any harder you’d break.

“Y/N?” San softly spoke, his hands stopping in place.

“Hmm..” Your eyes fought to stay open, exhaustion and content consuming your body after the day’s events.

“Everything was okay, yeah?” San’s voice trailed off, almost as if he felt embarrassed to even ask you. You knew what he was implying. You lifted your head to look him in the eyes.

“It was perfect. I’m glad you trust me, San. Seriously. And I’m so glad you let me love you the way you needed and let me show you how much I love you.”

San’s lips fell into a soft pout, he felt a lump in his throat. He didn’t say anything, instead he pulled you down for a tender kiss. It was sweet, there was no sexual intentions behind this one, just pure unadulterated love from the both of you.

“I love you, like a lot. Like for eternity, even.” San said as he pulled away from the kiss, smiling up at you.

“I love you for eternity, too.” You smiled back, giving him one last peck before laying your head back on his chest and succumbing to the sleepiness that slowly invaded your mind.

And the rest of your time on your vacation get-a-way was spent like that. Spending time with another, sharing affectionate moments and sweet words. San was true to his word, he took you on every surface in that house that he could defile you on. The kitchen counters, the table, the couch, the shower, even the stairs. He’d gone through a bottle and a half of lube since he had purchased it that first day there and you were more than sure the way he was fucking you, in all these different positions and with his stamina in mind, he was surely going to end up putting a baby in you.

One thing you had begun to realize about San though- well, a few things- was how he loved coming inside you and watching you push it out. As if he couldn’t wrap his head around that all of that seed was really his. Also that he really liked making you squirt- it wasn’t something you’d known before that you were capable of doing, so to have a guy who had very little sexual experience, make you do that, was truly mind-boggling.

After your vacation, you noticed your energy shift between each other for the better. San had passed his horny phase, and overall had just enjoyed being romantically intimate just as much as he enjoyed being sexually intimate. Not that he hadn’t been that way before, but it definitely felt more comfortable to express those sides of him naturally. You both brought out new sides of each other and to be able to express that so comfortably and safely was more than perfect.

Time had passed and yet another school year had finally come to an end, summer was approaching quickly.

“You heading back home for the summer?” San asked as you guys strolled along the trail that went through the campus park. His hands played with the ends of your hair as you walked, his eyes looking at you expectantly.

“Hmm, I thought about it, my lease ends right before summer starts so it at least gives me time to really think but, honestly I don’t wanna…”

“Come with me.”

“What?” You stopped walking, turning to look at San.

“I mean come with me for the summer. I’m going back home and we have a spare room if anything since my sister doesn’t live at the house anymore…” His voice trailed off as his hands removed themself from your hair, bringing them forward and stuffing them in his pockets.

“Well… I mean, are your parents okay with-”

“I already asked them… last month. And again last week, I didn’t tell them it was for sure though because I wasn’t sure how to bring it up to you but if you do decide to come, they’re okay with it and they’re super excited to meet you. No pressure though.” San chewed on his lower lip, avoiding your eyes.

You grabbed his wrists, taking his hands out of his pockets and bringing his hands to your lips, giving each one a soft kiss. Your eyes met his, and you found him looking back at you fondly with a faint blush creeping on his cheeks. He was trying hard to fight the smile that so desperately wanted to be on display for you and only you.

“Well, then. I would love to spend the summer with you and your family.” You pulled him forward to kiss his lips quickly, before pulling away and leading him down the trail of the park.

This upcoming summer was definitely going to be one to remember, and you were more than excited to spend it with the one you loved most.

[jerzwriter]

Kaycee reflects on how life turned out exactly as she imagined it and how it didn't when she and Ethan dropped their daughter off at college for the first time. When they leave, they know their journey will lead them back to Boston, but will it lead them home?

Book: Open Heart Pairing: Ethan x Kaycee (Past) Rating: Teen Words: 3,800 (sorry!) Summary: Please see above. A/N: This really took on a life of its own! @tessa-liam asked for two prompts from this list, and I merged it in with an anonymous ask from the same list. The three prompts are highlighted below, and they made for an angsty story! I hope you enjoy it!

This is not part of my HC - but a one-off, one-shot.

Participating in @julychallenge Pink: Love, Black: Loss.

Kaycee raised a cup of hot chocolate to her lips and smiled. It didn’t matter that she was now in her forties; she’d always prefer its silky, sweet taste more than coffee, and she didn’t care who knew it.

Sitting in the passenger seat of Ethan's parked car, she closed her eyes to listen to the sound of a gentle breeze rustling through the leaves outside; the moment felt almost perfect. It was exactly the day she had envisioned when she imagined dropping Emma off for her first semester of college. But as quickly as the thought entered her mind, she heard Ethan’s voice and was reminded – it wasn’t exactly as she had planned.

She stepped out of the car as they walked down a tree-lined path toward the car, Ethan’s arm wrapped protectively around their daughter’s shoulder.

“Now remember, you do not go out alone at night, no matter what. Wait for your roommate, another friend, or call campus security.”

"Yes, Dad," Emma said rolling her eyes. "You seem to forget I grew up in Boston – I have street smarts, Dad.”

The young woman looked to her mother, desperate for a save, and Kaycee reached out to embrace Emma one last time.

“Ethan, I don’t want to leave her either, but it’s getting dark, and it’s a long ride back to Boston.”

Ethan smiled tenderly as he stared at his “little girl.”

“It’s funny. I always imagined it would be me dragging you away, not the other way around.”

“Well,” Kaycee smiled curtly, “life has a way of surprising us.”

It had already been three years. Three years since their assets were divided, custody was determined, and with the scribbling of two signatures on a lifeless document, a marriage of almost twenty years came to an end. They’d come a long way since that painful day. Being in each other’s presence no longer elicited queasiness. The sight of each other didn't lead to dampened eyes or a feeling of guilt that consumed them. Still, it wasn’t easy. But today, they did what they always did best – they showed up for their daughter.

It was a two-hour drive from Boston to Hanover, New Hampshire. Ethan had hoped she’d pick his alma mater, Brown, where she’d only be 52 minutes away. But Kaycee reminded him that Emma’s top pick was originally UCLA. All things considered, Dartmouth wasn’t that far. But when Emma asked if they could all drive her to campus together, that two-hour journey suddenly felt much longer.

They were all surprised at how pleasant the ride up had been. Emma was a ball of nervous energy and chattering non-stop. The joy of heading off to college was mixed with the fear of being away from both her parents for the first time was familiar to her parents, and they both offered reassurance. They marveled over how it felt like it wasn’t so long ago that they were off to college – beginning their adult lives – at the starting line of all their dreams. They hoped Emma would realize as many of hers as they had, but they hoped other dreams would have happier endings than theirs.  

“...and I’m thinking I might double major,” she said without taking a breath. “Because Poli Sci is what I want to do... that’s my passion... but if I want to get into a top-tier law school, I think double majoring in English would be beneficial.”

“Sweetheart,” Kaycee smiled from the backseat. “Why don’t you get through your first semester? Then you can make that call.”

Ethan shook his head with a gentle chuckle. “Can someone tell me how a child with two parents who are renowned in the medical field is hell-bent on becoming a lawyer?”

“Dad,” Emma exasperated. “You always told me to pursue whatever I wanted to...”

“And I meant it,” he interrupted. “But you have to admit, this was unexpected.”

They arrived on campus and unpacked Ethan’s Porche Cayenne – the SUV Kaycee insisted was his mid-life crisis, even though he had already passed that point when he bought it. They could have left as soon as all the boxes were in the dorm room, but they refused to leave until her new bedspread was in place, the matching curtains hung, and little fairy lights twinkled around the perimeter of the room.

With no excuses to stay left, Kaycee turned to her daughter, her voice cracking with emotion. “Well, I guess this is it.”

“Mom!” Emma scolded. “We said no crying.”

“I know. But my baby’s all grown up. I’m entitled to a tear or two.”

The mother and daughter were wrapped in a hug when Ethan returned to the room holding a cardboard tray with two cups of coffee and one hot chocolate – he was elated that his daughter had his refined tastes in hot beverages.

“What did I miss here?” He asked.

“Mom’s starting to get weepy,” Emma smirked.

Kaycee wiped a tear from the corner of her eye. “Just finishing our goodbyes,” she said. “I’ll go to the car to give you two some privacy.”

“You don’t have to leave...” Ethan started, but when he realized his ex-wife was about to burst into the tears she had promised Emma she’d hold back, he understood. “Fine,” he said, handing her his keys. “Why don't you wait in the car?”

Kaycee adjusted the passenger seat, admiring the soft leather. Ethan had always preferred to drive, and she’d spent a good portion of her life sitting beside him, but it was the first time she sat in this car, purchased right after their divorce. Remembering a life now lost was already difficult, but her mind rushed to places she had no desire to go.

Ethan had never been forthcoming about his relationships since their split. Of course, she had heard the rumors... some said he was dating the new Director of Nursing, others swore he and Harper had rekindled their old flame. But she never asked Ethan about them; it wasn’t her place. Their conversations revolved around Emma, and that’s how she kept it. Still, as she sat in a seat she once coveted, she couldn’t help but wonder if others now filled that space.

The sound of the driver’s door opening quickly ushered her back to reality, and she was grateful she could blame her tear-filled eyes on Emma.

Ethan turned to her with a tender smile that Kaycee hadn’t seen in some time. “She’s going to be OK," he reassured.

“Oh, I have no doubt about that,” she replied, dabbing her eyes. “It’s me that I’m worried about.”

Ethan had to chuckle. “I know that feeling quite well.”

An awkward silence fell between them. At another time, they would have hugged and offered each other assurances. He would have told her their new chapter was beginning, too. They could focus on the dreams they had planned together, but now, he just fumbled to find a classical music playlist as he started the drive.

“Thank you for agreeing to drive up together,” he finally spoke.

“Of course. Emma wanted both of us here. I’d never deny her that.”

“No, but if I’m being honest, I half expected you to tell me you were taking a Greyhound on the return trip home.”

A slow smile spread on her lips, and she confessed. “I did price them.”

“I bet you did,” he laughed.

The conversation turned to the other comfortable topic between them: Medicine. He lauded her recent article in the New England Journal of Medicine, and he told her when he planned to retire. Kaycee reminded him that Emma embracing law wasn’t too odd; after all, it had been her second career choice, too. He quickly reminded her that he remembered. He remembered more than she knew.

They drove for about an hour when a pinging sound began getting louder and louder. Kaycee tried not to chuckle when the expensive car came to a halt, knowing her trusty old Toyota would have never stranded them like this. Ethan looked under the hood, then returned to the car with a sigh.

“Tripple A will be here shortly,” he informed. “There’s a Porche dealer a few miles away, but of course, they’re closed until the morning.”

“Of course,” she half grinned.

Ethan turned to her with a smirk, and she couldn’t decide if it was one of annoyance or amusement, so she decided to believe it was a little of both.

“Are you enjoying this?” He said sarcastically.

“I always told you that simple was better when it came to cars. There’s no need for the expensive bells and whistles.”

“Yeah,” He chuckled sadly. “You told me a lot of things.”

“I’d tell you what Greyhound could get us back to Boston, but the last one left forty minutes ago... ���

“Yep! I think we’re stranded here for the night, too. Not just my car.”

When the Tripple A driver arrived, Ethan and Kaycee hopped into the cab of his tow truck.

“There is a hotel nearby,” the man said. “I’m happy to bring you there. But there might not be any vacancy. A lot of local colleges are welcoming students this weekend, and a lot of parents who aren’t letting go stay nearby.”

“Yeah,” Kaycee barked out a laugh. “We’re familiar with that!"

“Oh, I see,” the man grinned. “You’re those parents. Well, as someone who has been through this, I can tell you it gets easier. Just think of it as the start of your second honeymoon.”

“Oh, no, we’re not...” Kaycee started but decided to skip it as they pulled up to a Comfort Inn. “You know, never mind.”

“This is the only place around here,” the driver informed. “If you can get a ride, there are more places about twenty miles down the road.”

Ethan looked at his watch. “The vacancy light is on, and it’s been a long day. This will do just fine.”

Kaycee ran to the restroom in the lobby while Ethan went to the front desk to secure rooms. When she stepped back out, she saw him grimace.

“Before I tell the desk clerk yes, are you sure you don't want to get an Uber to another hotel?”

Kaycee scrunched her nose. “An Uber in these parts? At this time of night? Unlikely. What’s the matter,” she chuckled. “Did you check the reviews and find out it’s not a five-star rating?”

“No, wiseass,” he smiled, enjoying the banter that used to be part of his daily life. “The problem is, they only have one room left.”

“Oh,” Kaycee said with a fallen face.  

“Exactly.”

“Well,” she laughed nervously. “We’ve round ourselves in this position before, haven’t we?”

Both their minds drifted to the conference in Miami during Kaycee’s intern year.

“Yes,” Ethan replied. “But that was a long time ago in a galaxy far, far away.”

“Ethan,” Kaycee shrugged. “We’ve been in each other’s lives for decades. We have a child together. We can share a room for one night unless...”

Unless there is someone in your life who would prefer you didn’t, she thought as Ethan asked her to continue.

“Uhm, never mind. We’ll be fine for one night.”

The walk to their room was peppered with small talk in an attempt to break the tension. But they were both so tired that they really didn’t care. They’d fall asleep, wake up, and find a way home. Everything would be back to normal. That's what they thought until Ethan opened the door.

“There’s only one bed?” Kaycee gasped.

“The front desk said there were two queen-sized beds!” Ethan insisted.

“Well, by my calculations, there is only ONE.”

“Obviously, they were wrong.”

“Noooo!” Kaycee mocked to Ethan’s chagrin. He looked around the tiny room; the only other furniture was an uncomfortable looking chair and desk.

“I’ll sleep in the chair,” he declared.  

“Don’t be ridiculous!” Kaycee insisted. “Ethan, it’s not like we haven’t slept in the same bed before.”

“Yeah... that was the norm for us... until that... changed.”

They exchanged an uneasy look, and both understood the best thing to do was go to sleep quickly. After kicking off their shoes, they both lay perched on the edge of the mattress, facing away from the other. Though they weren’t touching each other at all, their presence was obvious, and as exhausted as they were, suddenly, neither could sleep.

“Kaycee, are you still awake?” Ethan whispered.

“Yes.”

“How is our little girl already in college?”

“I don’t know,” she said sadly. “The years just flew by. And it’s odd because some of those days and weeks felt like an eternity, but I turned around twice...” she audibly gulped. “... and they were gone.”

The room went silent; all Kaycee could hear was her ex-husband's breathing. “So many precious days,” he lamented. “I know I haven’t thanked you enough."

“Me?” a startled Kaycee replied.

“You’re the only one here,” he chuckled. "Emma is a remarkable young woman, and I’m not just saying that because she’s my daughter."

“I know she is,” Kaycee laughed, rolling on her side to face Ethan, who had already turned her way.

“Well, that’s in large part because of you, and I should thank you more often.”

“You’re just as responsible,” Kaycee insisted. “You’re an amazing father, Ethan. You always were.”

He fell silent, hoping the darkness of the room would prevent Kaycee from seeing the emotion in his eyes, though there was no way to conceal it in his voice. If I had been an amazing father, I wouldn’t have let our family end. If I had been an amazing father, I would have fought harder for us to work, he thought, but all that came out was a broken.

“Thank you. You know, when you walked into Edenbrook all those years ago, I had no idea how much my life was about to change,” he smiled as Kaycee shifted uncomfortably.

“Ethan... it’s probably best if we don’t talk about this. I think we should just....”

With that, the lights flicked on, and Ethan was sitting upright.

“Why not?” he asked. “Not making time to talk is where everything started to go wrong for us.”

“It was,” she concurred. “But the time to fix that passed a long time ago. The ink on our divorce papers is long dry, Ethan. This isn't how it works.”  

“It can work anyway we want it to,” he countered. “Kaycee, we may not be together anymore, but that doesn’t mean we can’t be a part of each other’s lives.”

“We’ll always be a part of each other’s lives. We have Emma.”

“I don’t mean because of Emma. I want you to be a part of my life because, with the exception of our daughter, you've been the single most important person in my life. For the past three years, I’ve felt like a stranger in my own soul without you. I miss hearing your voice. I miss your laugh. When I have exciting news, you're the only one I want to tell it to. I want you to be more than the person I arrange drop-offs with, and now that Emma is grown, we won’t even have that.”

“Are you telling me you want to be friends? She asked.

No. I don’t want to be friends. I want us to be so much more, and I wish I had the nerve to say it.

“Ethan,” she repeated after an extended silence. She saw the tears glistening in his eyes as he reached over and pushed a strand of hair away from her face.

“Friends.... or something,” he choked.

Kaycee’s head fell into her hands, partly because she was tired, partly because she was trying not to cry.  

“Ethan, where did it all go wrong?”

Their minds drifted back in time to the days of trying to manage two busy careers with the needs of their child, long days filled with demands, exhaustion, and the feeling that they could never get it right. Sometimes, they fought; sometimes, they held it all in. Sometimes they turned the guilt inward... they weren’t good enough, they were failing, they should be better at this... and sometimes, they projected it onto the other... "You never...", "You used to...", "I can't believe you..." In time, they learned being alone isn't the worst feeling in the world, being in a relationship, but feeling alone was, and when the loneliness became too much to bear, they decided it should end.

“Why did we let it go?" Kaycee sniffled. “There was no affair, no hatred, even our fights weren’t all that bad. Our marriage was like a boat, just drifting away as we watched, and neither of us thought enough to help it change its course.”

“We were focused on work,” Ethan sighed with regret. “Focused on Emma. Then we had elderly parents to care for... it took so much of our time that in the end, we forgot to focus on each other.”

“But we knew what we had was special. Why the hell didn’t we fight for it!”

“You wanted to,” Ethan whispered. “You wanted to. I... I blame myself.”

“Ethan, you weren’t the only one responsible for our marriage ending.”

“I’m the one who stormed out of counseling, telling the counselor that it was absolutely useless. I’m the one who began to withdraw. You begged me to try.”

Feelings they believed to be long buried began to rise to the surface again, and the pain was as raw as it had ever been.

“You withdrew... but I never asked you why you did. I let my imagination get the better of me and...”

“And?”

“Did you stop loving me?” She asked, tears now streaming down her cheeks.

“No!” Ethan gasped. “Oh, God no, I never once stopped loving you.”

“I allowed myself to believe that you did,” she said, wiping her nose with her sleeve. “I felt like an obligation... like if we didn't have a piece of paper decreeing that we had to be together, you'd be long gone. And I swore I’d never be in a marriage like that.”

“Why didn’t you tell me that?”

“I thought I did,” Kaycee replied. “Maybe not with words, but with actions. I tried to give signs, but..."

“Kaycee, I never learned to read  your mind.”

“I know that... and that’s why I’m as responsible as you for letting our marriage die.”

“I wish I would have fought harder,” Ethan wept as Kaycee’s floodgates opened.

“Me too,” she shuddered. “Me too.”

Ethan instinctively reached for her hand, surprised when Kaycee fell into his arms. His arms encircled her and held her close. Both were overwhelmed by the warmth and familiarity, a feeling of comfort from a time long gone when they were each other’s port in a storm. When they were each other's home.

“I’m sorry,” Ethan cried. “I’m sorry I let it end.”

“I’m sorry, too,” Kaycee cried into his shirt. Ethan went to pull away, but she refused to let him go.

“Please... can you hold me just a little longer?"

“Of course,” he whispered, resting his head on hers as she nuzzled into his shoulder.

Comforted by his touch, Kaycee fell into a deep sleep and slept better than she had in a long time. But Ethan found no such relief; he remained awake all night, never letting her out of his arms until he got up in the early morning hours.

The sun was shining through the window, and Ethan was seated at the desk with an abysmal cup of coffee in hand when Kaycee woke up with a startle.

“Hey, are you OK?” he asked, as she groggily nodded. He moved to the edge of the bed and sat beside her. “What’s the matter?”

“Nothing... you’re here,” she replied.

“Did you forget? The car broke down, we had to stay here, there was only one room...”

“No... no,” Kaycee stopped him. “I remember all that. I just had a bad dream. I dreamt that you left me during the night, and I woke up alone.”

“Well, you made sure I couldn’t do that, even if I had wanted to,” he smiled. “You basically slept on top of me all night.”

“I did!”

“You did," he smiled. "Did you at least sleep well?"

“Like a baby – and you?”

“I slept OK,” he fibbed, pointing to the paper cup on the desk. “That cup of swill parading as coffee should help wake me up a little more.”

“Yeah,” she laughed. “I think I’ll make myself a cup, too. If you have to suffer through it, I should, too.”

She flung her legs over the side of the bed, but Ethan grabbed her hand and pulled her back to the mattress.

“Kaycee, I have to tell you something before I lose my nerve.”

A line formed between her brows. “What... what is it?”

“I need to tell you what I should have said three years ago. That I’m sorry. I took us for granted and allowed life to come between us, which was so foolish because you... you were my life. I've felt like a stranger wandering in a strange land where he no longer belongs for the past three years. See, I love you, Kaycee. I never stopped, and the biggest regret of my life is that I let you go. So, I know the answer is probably no, maybe you'll think I’m crazy, and I could be... but is there a chance... any possibility that you and I could try again. If we can, I promise, I'll get it right this time."

He sat in nervous anticipation in every silent moment that followed. Kaycee’s eyes were wide, and her lip trembled, but he wasn’t sure why. It was taking too long. It was taking too long, and he braced himself for rejection... the rejection he now realized that he had feared so desperately that he found it easier to let her go. But it only took a moment for all that to change.

Kaycee threw her arms around his neck, holding him tight as she peppered him with kisses and pushed him back on the bed. Her lips found his, and they came together; their hearts raced as it deepened, their hands caressing the curves they still knew by heart. At long last, they were home.

“I’ll take that as a yes,” he smiled breathlessly.

 “What gave it away?” she giggled, kissing him again. “But we have to take it slow. You’re the love of my life, and I want this to work more than anything, but we have to think of Emma. The divorce was hard on her, and we can’t let her know about this until we’re sure... 100% sure... that we’re forever.”

“I agree,” he smiled, his hands running through her hair. “You take all the time you need, but I know... if you’ll have me... this is forever. I don’t want to know a day without you again.”

“Can I have a week or two?" she grinned.

“As long as I can see you during every one of those days.”

After another lengthy kiss, Ethan reached for the hotel phone.

“What are you doing?” Kaycee asked.

“Calling the front desk.”

“Why?”

“Because check out is in a half hour, and we’re going to need this room longer.”

"Are we," she grinned. "I'm not on the schedule tomorrow; what about you?"

“Me?" Ethan beamed. "I’ll be calling out.”

"Good," Kaycee smiled, "Because we're going to need this room for another night."

@choicesficwriterscreations @openheartfanfics

Tagging others separately.

[plutowrites]

hi! this might seem random but i just wanna ask if you privated '𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐫𝐨𝐚𝐝 𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐥𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐬 𝐭𝐨 𝐲𝐨𝐮'? i just thought of that wonderful story of yours out of nowhere and dug thru my reblogs to find it but when i click on the 'keep reading' button it says here that the url can't be found anymore :(

HIIII!

you inquiring about a work of mine is such a huge compliment that brings me SO many warm feelings. thank you :)

I privated a lottttt of my old fics. i would read them again after some time and go "this needs a revamp. like asap."

having people read them in that state didn't make me feel great and so i privated them with hopes of maybeee editing them and reposting

after reading your ask tho, i went back the road that leads to you and edited it so you can have it again on ONE condition tho. you gotta tell me all your thoughts and fav parts of the fic.

KIDDDINGGGG.

adding the fic under the cut. i hope you enjoy again <3

𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐫𝐨𝐚𝐝 𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐥𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐬 𝐭𝐨 𝐲𝐨𝐮

Almost immediately, you notice Akaashi is a good driver—a way better driver than you are. Plus, his car smells fresh, and you’re not currently sitting on a dirty sock or a McDonald's Big Mac wrapper, which makes you feel a little better about the situation. It’s not that you were expecting a complete walking disaster as your road trip buddy, but when you first saw the “Hello, I have some inquiries about the flyer you posted” text a couple of days ago, signed at the end with Akaashi Keiji, you let out a loud groan, realizing that you were potentially going to be riding with a guy. Alas, you had no choice but to swallow all the safety precautions your parents drilled into you since you were a little girl and especially right before you went away to college (Exhibit A: don’t hitch rides with strange men!) and accept the offer. 

Why? 

Your stupid car has a flat tire and is in desperate need of an oil change. That was the deciding factor.

“Are you comfortable?” Akaashi’s voice is smooth like velvet, and you almost jump at the sound of it. The first hour was spent mostly in silence, with the occasional question about how the semester is going. You didn’t mind it too much—you liked how Akaashi didn’t force conversation. If there was nothing to be said, then, nothing was said.

“As much as one can be riding with a stranger for the first time across state lines.”

Akaashi exhales, “I promise with confidence that I’m not going to kidnap you.” He pauses before continuing, “But then again, what are promises made by a kidnapper truly worth?”

“That’s really comforting, thank you.”

He looks at you quickly, his eyebrows raised slightly, like he’s trying to read you. “Sorry, let’s try that again. I’m not a kidnapper. I just wanted to see my parents and my dog this weekend.”

You nod your head knowingly. “I think it’ll help if you told me more about yourself.” In all honesty, you already felt more than semi-comfortable in the presence of the dark-haired, tall boy sitting next to you. This was only an excuse to get to know him better, maybe gain a friend out of all of this.

“Hm. I’m not sure what to say here.”

“What’s your major?” you ask.

“English literature and criminal law. Yours?”

“Undecided.” Akaashi simply nods his head at your response, focusing his attention on driving. You add, “Oh wow, thank you for not judging me. Everyone I tell makes some sort of face after I share that.”

“Eh, there are so many programs to choose from—it’s not the end of the world to wait until next year to pick a program. You can’t imagine how many students end up switching majors halfway through because they found something that suits them more. I think going undecided is a smart move.” He shrugs, catching your not-so-subtle gaze on him before returning his eyes to the road. His response makes you feel warm, but you don’t show it. Well, maybe you do show it a little on your cheeks.

“So, I take it you don’t have any siblings? Or you do, but you hate them with such burning rage and intensity that you didn’t bother mentioning them earlier and mentioned your dog instead?”

“You’re a bit humorous.” He breathes out with a tiny smile on his face. You wonder how he would look if he let that smile reach the rest of him. “I’m an only child.”

You make a booing noise.

Akaashi chuckles. “Agreed. Do you?”

“An older sister, but she left home ages ago. She had the right idea.”

“Yikes. What’s going on over there?”

“At home? Nothing, it’s the town that’s the issue.”

“I can’t say we had the same experiences then.”

You glance over at him, and he’s wearing a face of perplexity. “Of course.”

“Pardon me?”

“Of course you love our town. You’re like the poster boy for it.”

His face is unreadable. “Considering the distaste you have for it, I’m not feeling overly confident that you’re fond of me.”

“The way you speak! Oh my gosh—Oh no. Stop, don’t look at me like that. It’s not supposed to be an insult! Okay, moving all the way on,” you chuckle to yourself. “Favorite soda?”

“Not a fan of carbonated drinks. You?”

“Yikes, you’re losing a lot of points in my book.” Akaashi then slowly holds up the aux cord for you to grab, which you take as a sign to stop blabbering and shut up. You take the cord from him and plug it into your phone.

He breaks the silence. “Hm, go on. What’s your favorite silly little drink?” he presses.

You can’t help the smile that spreads across your face like a wave reaching the shore. Crashing onto the shore, more like. You can’t stop f—cking smiling.

“Cherry Coke.”

----

“Making friends is hard.”

“Wow,” is all Akaashi says.

You peek at him quickly. “What?”

He raises his dark eyebrows like he can’t believe you even have to ask. “If you’re having trouble meeting new people, there’s no hope for the rest of us.”

“What does that mean?”

“You’re a people person—” his eyes twinkle at you like he’s some sort of Disney character, “—and you’re all smiles, which is incredibly inviting.”

On cue, you smile as wide as you can, until your cheeks begin to hurt a little. “And you, Akaashi, are all neutral-toned cardigans and sweaters.”

He glances down at his outfit: a light coffee-brown cable-knit sweater (of course), layered with a white collared shirt underneath and light-washed jeans. Akaashi bites back a smile. “I sound very boring.”

“You sound and look smart, which is a pretty solid first impression because it’s true.”

“Smart.” He repeats the word with a twinge of doubt, like it’s the first time anyone has ever called him that (which you can’t possibly fathom). People with his level of intelligence are usually showered in praise, especially in a small town like the one the two of you just escaped from.

“Do you miss home?” you ask abruptly, gripping the wheel a little harder. You’ve heard your roommate cry into her pillow late at night. When you asked if she was okay, she told you stories about her hometown until the early hours of the morning. You feel like the only freshman who can’t relate to that specific kind of homesickness. Not entirely, at least.

Without missing a beat, he sighs, “Yeah.”

Maybe you’re the only one who sees leaving that city as escaping.

“Why?” you ask, genuinely curious. Of course, there were good things about it: your family, the friends who stayed local for college, and maybe that one Ethiopian restaurant before it shut down when you were a senior in high school. That closing alone made you despise the city even more. Or maybe it was the event that pushed your hatred over the edge. You really, really loved that place.

Akaashi must’ve zoned out beside you because he doesn’t answer. Instead, he gazes out of the passenger side window, resting his head against it. He fiddles with the rings on his long fingers. You watch him from the corner of your eye as you drive the narrow, long road ahead.

“What’s wrong with taking highways again?” he asks after some time, his voice teasing, though his face remains neutral. So far, Akaashi has driven once, and you, twice.

“I’m just scared to. Had a bad experience once, and now I avoid them if I can.” You leave it at that, and Akaashi doesn’t push for more.

Some time passes before he changes the conversation. “Isn’t it interesting how there are only two high schools in our hometown, yet we went to different ones?”

You scoff. “I’m glad we didn’t attend the same one.”

“I’m wounded, Y/N.” You turn to look at him, met with puppy-dog eyes.

Lethal, very dangerous puppy-dog eyes.

“Please,” you make a sour face. “I was an embarrassing, angsty teenager.”

He smiles, probably picturing what you were like back then. You shudder at the thought. “Wasn’t everyone?” he says eventually.

You sigh, “You must’ve been popular, right? Smart, athletic, attractive, smelled good, dressed nice.”

“I’m flattered you think I didn’t just acquire those traits after graduation.”

“No, I can tell from these past couple of weeks of being friends that you’ve always been well-rounded. You’re every parent’s dream kid.”

“You assume so much, I’ve noticed.”

“And you notice so much, weirdo,” you fire back, teasingly. Akaashi picks up on things about you so quickly it’s surprising. Like how you always forget your laptop charger when you study together (you seem to leave your dorm with an almost-dead laptop, which drives him insane), so he brings his for you. Or how he knows you like extra pickles on your sandwiches and lets you take the ones out of his. He even memorized your sub order and your coffee order the second time you went to the campus cafe together.

“Ah, is it obvious then?”

“Yes, very,” you laugh.

Instantly, the atmosphere shifts, growing heavier, though you’re not sure why. You watch as he bites his lip, like he’s thinking about something serious. His broad shoulders fall as he rushes out an apology. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to make you feel uncomfortable.”

He refuses to meet your eyes, and if he did, he’d see just how confused you are. You force yourself to drag your gaze back to the road, even though you want to stare at him longer.

You squint at him, your brows furrowed. “Um, I’m saying this as nicely as I can—what the hell are you talking about, Keiji?”

“What are you talking about?”

“How observant you are... what are you on about?”

His eyes widened for a second before settling back to normal. “I was as well.” He turns on the radio and leans back in his seat.

---

“This is going to be an awkward four hours if you refuse to speak to me.”

“I’m not refusing anything,” you enunciate, trying to prove your point, but you end up sounding like a snobby child. You weren’t necessarily not talking to Akaashi on purpose—you just had a lot on your mind.

And it was all his fault.

Aaaand maybe you were giving him the cold shoulder, but it didn’t seem like an intense one—maybe a lukewarm shoulder at best.

“Come on, you haven’t even glanced at me yet.”

“How would you know? You’re driving,” you shoot back.

“Is this because of—”

“Shut up. Please. Don’t mention her name.”

“I thought you guys were friends?”

“She’s my roommate, of course she’s my friend. A very close one in fact, so you can imagine my current state.”

“Y/n,” he groans, dragging out your name in a plea for you to look at him instead of straight ahead. “You walked in at the worst possible moment.”

“Oh, so you wanted to do more…” The thought makes your stomach churn.

You hear him take a deep breath. “Of course not. You misunderstood what happened. Can I explain? Please?”

“You don't have to, but go ahead.” You can hear the edge in your own voice, and you know Akaashi can too. Where is this snappiness coming from? It was just a kiss, and if it were anything more than that, why would it even bother you?

Why does a little kiss bother you this much?

“After I edited her English paper, I came by to drop it off. She insisted I step inside, so I did.” He pauses for a moment, thinking. “I was hoping to catch you, but you weren’t there. After looking over my corrections, she got really excited and grateful—”

“She kissed you out of gratitude?”

“Kind of. She was aiming for my cheek, and I didn’t know what was happening, so I moved, and she caught my lips instead. Completely my fault. I’m awkward as f—ck.” He drums his slender fingers against the wheel. You can feel his eyes flick over your face, but you refuse to look.

The sight of them kissing after your hellish day was enough to make your head spin. The kiss was quick, but that didn’t change the way it made you feel—like you’d just walked in on something personal, something you shouldn’t have seen. You’d mumbled some apologies before bolting. Your face had felt as hot as everyone else’s in the room.

“Sorry, it’s really none of my business,” you shrug, trying to play it cool even though you know there’s no going back after ignoring him for half the road trip. At least you can salvage what’s left of the journey by shifting the conversation.

But still, there’s a question lingering in the back of your mind, one you can’t ignore.

“Do you want to date her?”

You hear a choking sound, followed by a fit of coughing. “After one mishap of a kiss that wasn’t even supposed to happen?” Keiji manages.

“Just answer the question.”

“No. Absolutely not.”

-----

Funny how  "absolutely not"  means nothing when it comes to the college dating pool.

“Your hair got longer, by the way.” You noticed this a while back when his once-slick black hair had started to curl, spiking up in all directions.

“Do I need to cut it?” he asks, a little wary. He’s wearing a black baseball cap, and it makes the length stand out even more.

“I love it. You look so cute.” You reach over the console, twirling a loose strand around your pinky finger. The corner of his mouth twitches into a tiny smile. Akaashi Keiji might just be the cutest boy you’ve ever seen.

“So, soon it’ll be winter break,” he says.

Silence.

“Correct.”

More silence.

“And we’ll be driving back home.”

Okay?

“Also correct.”

“Aika wants to come home... with me.” Akaashi’s words come out choppy, awkward, like he knows this conversation isn't going to end well.

You frown. “Why?”

“She really wants to see my family and friends. Mainly Koutarou, because of how much I talk about him.” He smiles to himself. Seeing your confused look, he adds, “Sorry. Bokuto.”

“I know who Koutarou is,” you snap. You’re just confused—why is he inviting his girlfriend of, what, a month?—to meet his family when you, his closest friend since the start of the year, have never been invited anywhere. You’re from the same city, for f—ck’s sake.

“What is it, Y/n? Your face...”

You wave an annoyed hand. “Just keep driving.”

His jaw tightens and he slips out, “Alright.”

You try to hold back your frustration, but the way he just breezes past your feelings makes your chest ache. “This is exactly what I was afraid of when you two started dating,” you whisper.

“Afraid of what?”

“Feeling like an outsider.”

“How do we make you feel like an outsider?” Keiji’s voice is gentle, genuinely curious. He just wants to understand. That makes you feel worse.

You sigh, taking a deep breath. “For starters, the whole ‘we’ every time you talk about her—it drives me wild.”

He shakes his head, clearly struggling to understand. “I don’t get it, Y/n. She’s my girlfriend.” He then takes a lengthy pause before he adds, “are you… jealous?”

“Obviously I am,” you snap, harsher than you intend. You pinch the bridge of your nose, trying to calm down. When you speak again, your voice is quieter. “You spend so much time with her, and it’s fine, I promise, I like Aika, but you treat me like an afterthought every single time. Am I wrong to want your time too? You’ve never even invited me to meet your friends or your family, and that—-it hurts.”

“You’re jealous?”

You blink slowly. He’s unbelievable. “I think we kind of went over that.”

“No. Y/n. Like, you’re seriously jealous that Aika is my girlfriend?” he asks, urgent now, and when you don’t respond, he adds, “Because that’s not fair.”

You’re too tired to argue, too drained to unpack all that. All you want is to go home.

“Glad you learned now that nothing is ever fair.”

-----

You decide not to go home for winter break. Your parents ended up attending a wedding for your dad’s business partner in a different state, which turned into a full-blown vacation. You were the one who insisted they go, since it’s been ages since they got to spend any quality time together outside of rushed, late-night dinners and early morning conversations. With them away, there was no point in traveling all that way home to an empty house.

Your older sister invited you to stay with her up North, but you turned the offer down almost immediately. You weren’t particularly fond of her partner—or her mean little chihuahua with a nasty habit of biting toes.

Fortunately for you, you’ve got the dorm all to yourself for three weeks. It’s weird to think that Aika is in your city with Keiji right now. You wonder if she finds its small-town quirkiness charming or if she’s appalled by the fact that there’s exactly one mall in the entire town, and it doubles as a grocery store and movie theater.

You’re currently curled up on your bed with a book assigned for your sociology class. Might as well get some work done, you think. Make use of all this extra time.

You’ve already exhausted the solo activities: you binged a ton of Netflix, baked in the common kitchen (go you!), and even painted a hideous Christmas tree decoration that you’ve convinced yourself is not ugly—just camp.

You weren’t expecting any visitors, so when a knock sounds at your door, you’re genuinely surprised. Rushing to open it, you find Keiji standing there in a hoodie decorated with tiny, melting snowflakes and a hopeful look on his face.

In an extremely calm and collected voice, he asks, “Hi, would you be interested in spending the holidays with me?”

“What? I—”

He interrupts, “You can stay in the guest room, meet my dog, my parents, and Kou.” He takes a deep breath. “I would really like your company, Y/n.”

“Keiji, wait. Did you run here?” you ask, noticing his quick breaths and heaving chest. Grabbing the sleeve of his hoodie, you pull him inside. You point to your bed and sternly say, “Sit.”

“I’m wet.”

“I don’t care.”

“I do.” Without another thought, Akaashi pulls his sweater up and over his head, revealing a white shirt underneath. You look away quickly, but not before catching a glimpse of his toned stomach, daring you to stare. You like to think you passed that test.

He finally sits, catching his breath. “Where’s Aika?” you ask, arms crossed.

“She’s back in her city. I drove her home.”

Your mouth drops. “Wait, what? She’s been talking about spending the break with you for weeks! Why would you drive her home?” you whisper-shout, half in disbelief, half in annoyance.

You didn’t like the person you became whenever your roommate talked about Keiji. You wanted to be happy for her, you really did. But it tore you apart knowing it was your Keiji she gushed about. And you hated that it hurt.

“We broke up, that’s why.”

You sit down beside him, clutching your chest like the wind’s been knocked out of you. “I’m sorry, I didn’t know. I—”

He takes your hand in his. “Don’t apologize.”

You exhale. His touch is cold but gentle. “Why did you guys break up?”

“Do you have to ask?” he smiles softly, eyes dropping to the floor. A few quiet beats pass before he looks at you again. “Hey,” he whispers, brushing a strand of hair from your eyes. “The real question is, are you coming with me on the road trip back home?”

“Uh.” You bite your lip. “Are you sure?”

“Very.”

Your answer is a no-brainer. There isn’t anything you want more than to spend the holidays with him—this boy sitting next to you, rubbing tiny circles over your thumb. “I would love to.”

“Good,” he hums, resting his head in the nook of your neck like it’s where it belongs. “Because I wasn’t leaving here without you.”

-----

“My goal for the next three weeks is to make you fall in love with our adorable little town.”

You snort, rolling your eyes at his confession. “Aim lower, Keiji.”

He cocks his head. “It’s that impossible, huh? Well, I do have another goal.”

“Spill,” you say, ripping open a mega-sized pack of M&Ms he conveniently left for you in the car, alongside your favorite drink—Cherry Coke. A few chocolates tumble onto the floor, sending Keiji into near-cardiac arrest. He watches in horror, lips pressed into a tight line, ready to scold you.

“Every time you leave my car, you leave behind some sort of—”

“A token of myself for you to remember me by?”

“—Garbage,” he corrects, totally unimpressed.

You grin sheepishly. “Go on. What’s your other goal?”

“Oh, right,” he coughs once. “My other goal is to win your heart.”

You nearly choke on an M&M. “Blunt as ever, Keiji.”

“Charming too, I hope.” He smiles faintly. You’ve memorized all of Akaashi Keiji’s smiles. Every single one. You even have a mental list of your favorites—like when you’re being your usual dramatic self, going off about some ridiculous exchange in the dining hall, and Keiji looks up from his glowing laptop to send you that lopsided smile, the one that tells you he’s listening and taking your side.

Then there’s his tired smile, the one he reserves for you after long study sessions, when he says goodbye with the same look that reassures you he’ll see you tomorrow, that your little world will keep spinning just the same.

You collect his smiles like they’re candy, and you’re an overzealous trick-or-treater trying to fill the heaviest bag. But his smirks? Those are rare, and they get to you every time.

And suddenly, it hits you.

It finally freaking hits you.

“Have you ever wondered why someone who supposedly hates their hometown as much as I do… visits so often?”

“Every passing second,” he murmurs, flicking off the turn signal after switching lanes.

“It’s because sitting in a car with you—being here with you like this—makes me so happy. Sure, I love seeing my parents and visiting friends once we’re home, but… it’s you I look forward to the most.” Your heart pounds as you speak, the words finally lifting the weight off your chest. “You don’t have to win my heart, Keiji. You already have it. It’s yours. All yours.”

“Y/n,” He says your name slowly, savoring every syllable. The way his teal eyes fix on yours makes your breath catch. “You were right about everything,” he says, his voice thick with emotion. “Especially the whole ‘we’ thing. ‘We’ should mean me and you. It’s always going to be me and you.” He grips your hand tighter. “It’s always going to be us.”

-----

You feel a hand reach the small of your back, followed by a soft mouth pressing against your ear. “Having fun?”

You grin, immediately recognizing who slipped into the stool beside you. “I didn’t know we had enough people in this city to fill a restaurant like this.” You watch as Keiji rolls his eyes teasingly and tugs on your ear.

“Hm, what did Koutarou say about me? What were his first impressions?” you ask, curious about what your now-boyfriend’s best friend thinks of you. You can feel Bokuto’s eyes on the two of you from across the room, his friendly smile reaching from ear to ear. You wave at him, and he waves back.

“He can’t stop talking about you. He keeps reiterating that he can’t believe I have a girlfriend—and that girlfriend is you. I’m sorry, but he might be joining our dates for a long time.”

You laugh at that, sneaking another glance at Bokuto. He’s proudly wearing someone’s Santa hat, looking ridiculous yet charming. “Probably forever,” you reply.

“Are you okay with that?” Keiji squeezes your knee.

“Sure, as long as you’re not too shy to show affection in front of him.”

“Don’t tempt me,” he says, pretending to lean in. Giggling, you place a hand on his chest to stop him, beaming as you shoot him all the love you have inside through your eyes.

“I’m so happy I let you drag me back here.”

Akaashi chuckles. “Drag is a bit of an exaggeration, I think, but I feel the same way. I promise one day we’ll travel to other places—places you don’t hate vehemently.”

“You know that doesn’t make a difference to me. Wherever you go, I go.” And you mean it. Pressing a tender kiss to his cheek, you whisper against his skin, “It’s always going to be us.”

He softly repeats after you, “Yeah, it’s always going to be us.”

[chaotic-archaeologist]

Hey Reid, really random question, but what do you discuss in office hours generally?

For context, I'm a new undergrad student (on a joint English, drama, and creative studies course, I know this isnt your department but it's not too relevant) and we've been sent forms to fill in about what we want to discuss with our personal tutor in our first meeting with them. I have no idea what you're supposed to talk about in these sessions and as the semester's only just started we're not yet doing assessments, coursework or big projects at all. Plus, as a joint honours student I don't know whether I can talk about my other subject well with her or not as she's only from one subject's department.

The only thing I was thinking I could talk about would be the fact that it's become clear already that my passion in the subjects is completely different to everyone else's on my course (there's only about a dozen of us in the classes for one of my departments) and I guess that leaves me a little directionless so maybe something about careers to do with that but I feel like it's such early doors to start discussing careers.

Anyway yeah, as someone who has already been there and who I believe is now doing it too (if wrong, sorry!) do you have any general recommendations of what students can talk about in office hours with their personal tutors or other teachers? Thank you!

Psst, I'm going to tell you a secret: the vast majority of students do not actually come to office hours. Even though they should! It literally cannot hurt! And coming to office hours is a great opportunity to build rapport with your instructor/TA and get academic help! But out of the approximately 300 student's I've had, I've met with maybe 10 of them.

I say this not to be cynical, but to drive home the point that you are winning by just showing up. You don't have to come with a list of perfectly prepared questions—you're a student, and you are, by definition, learning! Do the readings and assignments, and engage with your instructor.

Now, I'm not sure how your program works, and you say tutor rather than TA, so the etiquette might be a little different. A tutor is there to help you academically, while a TA is there to answer some questions, but by and large you are expected to be in charge of your own learning experience.

As a TA, I'm generally happy to meet with students by appointment, but I also really appreciate it when students are able to understand that I am 1) a human being with a finite amount of time and energy, and 2) my job is to support you but not hold your hand. Your section may not be the only one your TA is responsible for, and they also have their own studies to attend to.

Here are some things that are appropriate to ask from your TA:

To look over a paper draft and offer feedback (provided this is something they have offered to do as part of their job)

Request feedback on an assignment after your grade to know what you could do better next time

Schedule a meeting to discuss topics you are struggling with

And some things that are not appropriate to ask your TA:

Questions where the answers can be found on the syllabus (due dates, percentage of grades for certain assignments, the readings for a given week)

When will I get my grade? (See my above point about being only human. If assignments have been turned in, assume your TA is working on getting them back to you, and that they cannot do so immediately. Give it at least two weeks before checking in)

Asking for a particular grade on an assignment

As for your first meeting with your tutor/instructor/TA, I'll reiterate: just show up! Introduce yourself, say hi, and don't feel too much pressure to hit the ground running.

Here are some posts I've made that you might find relevant:

Tips to make your professors love you

Student conduct

Citation how-to

Thank your professors

Take a deep breath. I sense that you might be someone who puts a lot of pressure on themselves to be perfect. Nobody else is expecting that from you. You're learning, and it's okay to be unsure and make mistakes! Trust in yourself to do your best in the moment; that's all you can do.

-Reid

[umichenginabroad]

Week 15: The Final Countdown

It’s finally here, the very last week… Honestly, it did not settle in until the last day. Most of the week was at a cafe grinding out my last few assignments and studying for finals. Not the ideal way to end off a study abroad experience but it is how most semesters go.

This week, food was my coping mechanism to get through all of the studying. At the end of each long study day, my friends and I would go try a new restaurant that has been on our bucket list. This was a great way for us to still bond throughout the last week while also not taking up too much time from our studies. We intentionally chose more international restaurants because we were all sick of meat and potatoes (the typical Czech diet). We ate at Matzip, Agave, and Yami Sushi, and to my surprise, they were all amazing! Although it was on the slightly pricer end, they were able to satisfy my craving for more culturally diverse foods.

IFSA also really kindly treated us to a graduation lunch. This was the last time our entire program got together and it started to hit me that this fever dream I have been living is actually coming to an end. I came into this study abroad experience with little to no expectations. I was just chasing something new and thought that going to Prague for a semester would do just that. Now, as it is ending, saying that this semester exceeded my expectations is an understatement. I have grown so much as a person through all the uncomfortable experiences I had to overcome, such as facing frustrating language barrier interactions or navigating a foreign country. I even built up the confidence to solo travel, which was a daunting task just months before. 

Being in such a small program and being forced to live, study, and travel together created a tight-knit community that I will forever be grateful for. Most of us were U-M computer science majors yet, I only knew a handful before coming into this program. Now, I can call them my close friends and know that I will be able to go back to campus with a group of people that make Ann Arbor feel more like home.

Okay, enough sappy stuff. I ended this program on my birthday, which was the best birthday I could ever ask for. It is now becoming a tradition that I do an escape room every year for my birthday and to our surprise, we were able to find one in Prague. It was all in English and we even managed to escape in time, which never happens! Then, we gathered with the rest of the program to celebrate the end of the semester and my birthday. Just having everyone there that night made it super special.

Even my mom was there! She came to visit me on the last few days of my program and for my birthday. It was super fun taking her around Prague since I finally had a good enough grasp of the city. I was able to show her the most touristy parts of the city and also how my day-to-day life has been for the past three months. She said her favorite part was the rows of colorful buildings each with its unique architecture. 

Overall, this has been the best semester of my college career and I will be forever grateful that it happened. We still have one more blog coming so not goodbye yet… I will see you all very soon for one last time. 

Janice Liu

Computer Science

Tech Career Accelerator in Prague

[ao3feed-danganronpa]

Despair Is Back In Session | Genshin-Ronpa AU

read it on the AO3 at https://ift.tt/Fs7aVob

by Winterkline

“And I have a deadline for an outfit-” a blonde female exclaimed and then she looked at Kaeya and he chuckled (what was that about?)

“Deadline shmeadline, doesn’t matter! All that matters is that you guys are living here till death do you part, might as well get used to it, bimbo” this “Headmaster” is really disrespectful( if he really is the new headmaster who the fuck hired him!?”

“Bimbo!? You didn’t just-” the blonde gritted her teeth. “Oh I just did it!” the bea- I mean monokuma replied.

“Well that “Deadline” she has is an outfit for my next show, surely you know what she meant. Such a shame that people stopped caring for us models' ' Kaeya began, “and surely you understand that Miss Rosalyn is such a dear friend to me. It would hurt to see that she can’t perfect her already perfect craft on designing the most beautiful attire, no? Isn’t that what hope's peak academy is for anyways?” Kaeya did have a point. I will give him that, Hope's peak academy is for talented students who have a chance at becoming a god...

Words: 2250, Chapters: 1/?, Language: English

Series: Part 2 of Genshin Ronpa AU

Fandoms: 原神 | Genshin Impact (Video Game), New Dangan Ronpa V3: Everyone's New Semester of Killing, Super Dangan Ronpa 2, Dangan Ronpa: Trigger Happy Havoc, Dangan Ronpa Series

Rating: Mature

Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death

Categories: F/F, F/M, Gen, M/M, Multi, Other

Characters: Kaeya (Genshin Impact), La Signora (Genshin Impact), Diluc (Genshin Impact), Jean (Genshin Impact), Venti (Genshin Impact), Xinyan (Genshin Impact), Tartaglia | Childe (Genshin Impact), Zhongli (Genshin Impact), Kaveh (Genshin Impact), Beidou (Genshin Impact), Kaedehara Kazuha, Thoma (Genshin Impact), Sangonomiya Kokomi, Albedo (Genshin Impact), Sucrose (Genshin Impact), Alhaitham (Genshin Impact), Dehya (Genshin Impact), Layla (Genshin Impact), Hu Tao (Genshin Impact), Rosaria (Genshin Impact), Monokuma (Dangan Ronpa)

Relationships: Diluc & Kaeya (Genshin Impact), Diluc & Jean (Genshin Impact), Dehya & Layla (Genshin Impact), Alhaitham & Kaveh (Genshin Impact), Alhaitham/Kaveh (Genshin Impact), Diluc/Jean (Genshin Impact), Diluc & Jean & Kaeya (Genshin Impact), Kaeya & Kaveh (Genshin Impact), Diluc & Kaeya & Rosaria & Venti (Genshin Impact), Kaeya & Rosaria & Venti (Genshin Impact), Diluc/Venti (Genshin Impact), Kaeya & Venti (Genshin Impact), Kaedehara Kazuha & Venti, Thoma and Kokomi, Kaedehara Kazuha/Sangonomiya Kokomi, Kaeya/Tartaglia | Childe (Genshin Impact), Kaeya & Zhongli (Genshin Impact)

Additional Tags: Kaeya is Bad At Feelings (Genshin Impact), Kaeya is So Done (Genshin Impact), Kaeya is from Khaenri'ah (Genshin Impact), Kaeya is a Mess (Genshin Impact), Diluc is So Done with Kaeya (Genshin Impact), Diluc is a Ray of Sunshine (Genshin Impact), Jean is So Done (Genshin Impact), Best Friends Kaedehara Kazuha & Venti, Blood and Violence, Blood and Gore, Gore, Pink Blood (Dangan Ronpa), Killing Game (Dangan Ronpa), Drama, Psychological Drama, Danganronpa AU, genshinronpa, Tartaglia | Childe is a Mess (Genshin Impact), Major Character Injury, Major Character(s), Diluc is protagonist, Diluc is if Hajime and Shuichi were one person, Kaeya got that Nagito and byakuya aura lol, Assassin Tartaglia | Childe (Genshin Impact), Model Kaeya (Genshin Impact), Diluc and Kaeya are Siblings (Genshin Impact)

read it on the AO3 at https://ift.tt/Fs7aVob

[catsconflictscopicsandchamomile]

ok first of all, The Ninth Hour musical (on yt & spotify) is INCREDIBLE. It's a retelling of Beowulf (ofc), however the actress playing Beowulf and the actress playing Grendel's Mother sound more or less exactly alike, which gives the whole thing an additional layer of OW OOF OUCH MY EMOTIONS.

Grendel himself is also phenomenal. If I could recommend you one song to get you into this musical, it would be this one:

also highly recommend "Grendel's Mother" by The Mountain Goats. lyrics can get a bit cheesy but it still hits like a punch in the guts

okay, next up..... shit, where do I even START.

Sam & Dean are the best portrayal of Grendel & his Mother that I've EVER seen- and I'm saying this as a folklorist/beowulf scholar first, and spn fan second. The more you get into actually studying these creatures/characters, the more fascinating spn becomes because

1) it tells a story that desperately needed to be told, and does it amazingly well

2) IT DOES IT UNINTENTIONALLY. Nobody on spn's writing team sat down and said "hey. this is a show about Grendel". It just HAPPENED and its UNIRONICALLY WONDERFUL.

3) this is more of a thing that matters re: folkloric & historical context, but I cannot stress enough that Sam & Dean canonically de-christianized themselves. that is. fcking fascinating. like I don't even have words for how cool that is. what a choice for these characters. it's been 1500 years and Grendel & Mother finally had enough, packed up and left back to whatever pagan belief system they came from.

ok anyway. tangent here, but re: what you said about liking/being DEEPLY fucked up by the idea of their souls never being allowed to settle or find peace... please look into The Wild Hunt. Overly Sarcastic Productions on youtube has a very good video on it that covers most of the points that you would be interested in. the idea of a ghostly hunter damned to ride eternally across the sky in early/midwinter kinda Hits Different the past two years yknow?

(and yes there are connections between the Wild Hunt and Grendel's Mom. not direct connections, but they're definitely present. see last post's comment abt Valkyrie!Dean)

last thing for this particular longpost: the names "Sam" and "Dean" are EXTREMELY.

EXTREMELY *SOMETHING*.

IN OLD ENGLISH.

"Sam" is a common prefix in Old English (the language Beowulf was written/originally told in) that is used with many words. However, depending on pronunciation/accent it has two different meanings:

"half, partial, lacking, incomplete"

or

"together, concordant, combined, same"

...ow. ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow. that's. ouch

"Dean" doesn't have a direct equivalent, but "Daene" "Daen" "Dane", "Dene", etc all have translation variants (Old English translation is NOT an exact science. I'm taking a class in it next semester, pray for me lmao) that mean the same thing

"Danes" or "People of Denmark"

why is this relevant? Because the first 2/3 of Beowulf is set in Denmark. Grendel & Mother are FROM DENMARK. and the people they prey upon, who Beowulf arrives to defend

ARE THE DANES.

also, this specific bit of ironic naming has actually been used before! one of the most well-lauded modern retellings of Beowulf, Maria Dahvana Headley's "The Mere Wife", is told from Grendel's Mother's pov, and set in a modern, rural/western American (though disappointingly* nonmagical, focusing on social commentary in an entirely "real-world" way) setting. This is, afaik, the first major work of Beowulf literature that gives Mother a name....

Dana. her name is Dana. as an ironic jab at her original iteration's rivalry with the Danes

or "Daene" in the Old English. or "Dane" or "Daen" or "Dene"

...I both love and hate this language. what kind of fucking names are "Sam and Dean". its almost like God hates them or something-

oh yeah right. That Part.

this is lines 102-114 of Seamus Heaney's translation of Beowulf, and the audience's introduction to whatever the fresh frick Grendel & Mother have going on.

and

to quote almost directly from a Supernatural post I saw on tumblr like three weeks ago, from someone with (afaik) NO idea what Grendel is:

WHAT WAS THEIR REWARD EXACTLY??? WHAT DOES THAT MEAN

hhhhhhhhh

tldr

*screams in agony*

Fun fact of the day, anytime someone compares Dean Winchester to Mother Mary, I take -20 psychic damage

It ruins me horrendously, keep doing it

[a-very-bizarre-adventure]

Obey Me College Headcanons

Hello Obey Me fandom, i just got into obey me. LMK if yall want more teehee

Lucifer

Major- Law/Legal Studies

He’s gearing up for law school

Vice President of SGA (Student Government Association) 

You see him studying at the library all the time. 

once you looked up and caught him staring at you and he immediately packed up and left

One of the best dressed on campus

Bought you a coffee because he thought he creeped you out

Wears glasses during lecture

Always sits behind you during lecture so he can study you 

Mammon 

Major- Economics

I just know he’s in a frat

If he sees you at a party he becomes protective over you

Has definitely asked for your snapchat multiple times

Designated driver for his friends (brothers)

super social, a part of many clubs

head of the spirit club to support his brother Beel during football season

most stylish dresser on campus, a trend setter

every one knows his car when they see it

Levi

Major- Computer Science

Head of the video game club

is involved in the DND club

Has a work study for the campus IT department

Has helped you fix your laptop more than once 

you two definitely play mobile games together

Blushes when you greet him when you see him on campus 

You invited him over to your dorm once to watch a movie/anime/Tv show and he was so nervous he refused to sit on your bed with you

Satan

Major-English/Literature

Is the one who always responds to questions in the dorm floor group chat 

He 100% asks you to study with him all the time but they always seem date like. (they are)

The Baristas at the campus Starbucks all have his name and order memorized (This happened to me last semester and was honestly so embarrassing)

Has a work study at the campus library

always saves you a seat next to him during lecture

[nothanksehh]

Hear Me Now pt. 1

A/N: Hi friends! Welcome to my new series that I have no idea how long it will be or what will happen because I am just letting my brain lead where it will. There have been a couple of inspirations for this for a while now and I am sure the concept has been done before somewhere but I just haven't found any to read so I thought I would make it myself. Let me know what you think and if you love it let me know! Words that are in italics are the soulmates communicating with eachother. Warnings: soulmate au, fluff, angst, slow burn to eventual smut, bang chan and y/n, more to come I am sure

There is just something about a soulmate that makes people look at life differently. There are so many types of love that you can experience in a lifetime but the value set on finding your soulmate has soared in the last hundred years. Thanks to some weird phenomenon people have been hearing what their soulmate hears throughout their normal everyday life.

And it isn't all people and even if you have one it won't start until you turn 18. No one knows why, maybe some people just don't have a soulmate or maybe their soulmate isn't part of this lifetime yet. All I know is that the second you turn 18 there is an absurd amount of attention put on you to see if you will be one of the lucky ones.

And somehow I am one of the people who get to experience it. When I turned 18 I started hearing his world. Even though it was only about two weeks ago that it happened, I haven't heard much. From what people know you don't hear everything all the time. Just small snippets of their day here and there. They say that the stronger the emotion the person is feeling determines if you will hear your soulmate. There was a study done where they got soulmates together and tested it.

So far all I know is that he does something with music, he is older than me, and his name is Chan. He sounds like he has a band with his friends. We haven't even had time to talk about anything with how busy I have been. Being in the process of moving out to go to college has consumed all of my attention.

But the semester would start soon and I would be able to get some of the weight of moving off my plate. My family didn't exactly fight me on moving so far away for college. Being from a small town always made me want to experience the big city life in New York. I am going to be majoring in musical theater performance.

And from there who knows what I will do. There are shows everywhere in the world that I could be a part of. I made sure to take language classes in high school and I will be taking more in college as well. For now, I just speak English and French, but with college lessons, I will be able to add Korean to that mix. I already know a few basics of the language from growing up but to be fluent is my goal.

As I have done every morning for the past two weeks waking up, I tell the empty room good morning. Just in case Chan could hear it. He hasn’t said it back yet so maybe he can’t hear it. Sometimes I am grateful for not having to share a dorm with another person. I have always enjoyed being sort of a loner. That and I am not sure I am going to tell anyone about my soulmate yet.

I decided that today I was going to walk around the campus and see if there are any good places to scope out for food. On my walk I noticed some mumbling coming from Chan. He sounded frustrated. Not wanting to look like a weirdo, I ducked into an alleyway and spoke.

"Hey, Chan? Are you alright?"

Oh, hi. Umm yeah I will be. Just something making me a little upset.

"Well whats wrong? Maybe I can help?"

It was quiet for a long time, I almost decided to just go back to trying to find food before he finally answered.

It is mainly work things that are frustrating me, nothing for you to worry about. It just means today is going to be another busy one.

"Oh, alright..." I'm not going to lie that I am a little disappointed by his answer. Is it so wrong for me to want to help him? He must have heard that I was upset because he continued to talk to me.

This is awkward... I am sorry. I didn't mean to not let you in it's just I am a pretty private person. I am adjusting to you being able to hear me and I am sure it will take time for me to actually open up fully. Forgive me?

It was the most he had ever spoken to me but it softened me somehow. "Of course, I can forgive you. You... well you're my soulmate. How could I not?"

Good, thank you. Although I do have one complaint.

"What? Has our one conversation gone wrong somehow?" You heard him laugh with you at your small joke.

I don't even know your name, but you seem to have heard mine. I could trade another piece of information though?

"Hmm, very tempting Chan. Okay, what is your favorite band? Answer that and I will tell you my name." Chan immediately laughed, for what reason I'm not sure.

My favorite band... hard to say. Let's go with a disclaimer that if you listen to them you can't judge that it is K-Pop. The band is Stray Kids.

"Oh, I actually like K-Pop a little bit, I haven't listened to them before. I am actually learning Korean so it can be a study project too!"

You are learning Korean? That is fantastic! I happen to be fluent so any time you want to talk in Korean let me know!

"That would actually be a huge help! Thank you! And for my end of our little bargain, my name is Y/N."

Y/N... what a pretty name.

I feel like I could hear him smiling as he said my name. It sent a bunch of butterflies straight to my stomach.

Well my dear, Y/N. I have to go about my day now. I hope that we can talk more. Just this little bit has already made me feel better.

"You are very welcome. Hear ya later." After that, we both stopped talking. I heard him walk around the room he was in for a little before it went silent again. I was so consumed in our small conversation I forgot that I was outside. I made my way to the small cafe I had seen and went about my day.

***

Nighttime came quicker than I would have thought and as I made my way back to my dorm on a full stomach I thought about Chan. Curious about so many things, there was so much that I didn't know about him. Where did he live? What was his job? What did he even look like?

When I reached my room, I immediately climbed into bed and pulled out my phone and airpods. I at least knew what his favorite band was, and that was something. All night I listened to the songs made by Stray Kids. They were all really good. I don't think that there had ever been a group where I liked every single song on an album, Stray Kids would be the first exception to that.

It looked like they had released an album earlier this year and one song, in particular, stood out to me. "Waiting For Us" was the song's name, the first time I listened to it I had tears in my eyes. I replayed that song over and over again. The voice of the person in the first chorus kept catching my attention. There was something so comforting about the way he sang, familiar almost.

And when I finally listened to other songs, that same voice kept giving me chills every time I heard it. This was definitely going to be the start of my K-Pop addiction, I can already tell.

CHAN

I think that as soon as I told her what my "favorite band" was I regretted it. How easy it would be for her to just look up the members and find out that I was their leader and she would know. If she didn't already know, my voice is too distinct. What a cheap way to tell her who I am, I just couldn't actually tell her outright. It seemed too strange.

When I told JYP that my soulmate heard me for the first time there were so many meetings. Being the first of our group to hear their soulmate was bound to come up and I saw no use in hiding it. Better to get it out of the way as soon as possible to give everyone time to make sure it wasn't going to cause a fiasco.

JYP had settled on the fact that it would be up to what type of person she was and how we would handle it from there. The only real demand from the meeting was that I wait to tell her my full identity until I know a little more about her. It wasn't my favorite thing in the world.

I actually downright hated that I had to hide myself from her. I don't know if I was trying to rebel when I told her or if I was trying to get around his wishes but I am sure regretting it now. I have been so in my head worrying all day that I have messed up several times now in dance practice. I am sure that the others have noticed but they haven't said anything. I told them what was going on, it was pointless to hide things from my brothers.

We finally wrapped up for the night and I headed straight home. We had all agreed to order dinner tonight and eat at one of the condos. Half of them went to go grab food and the others of us went to the house to get it cleaned up a little bit. Not that we were particularly messy in the 3 Racha and Hyunjin dorm, but we had just slightly less time to clean than the others.

With a meal finally in my stomach, I felt like I was slowly relaxing. Felix and Han were making jokes about Seungmin earlier in practice and we were all laughing and having a good time when I heard it. It was almost like I was in the studio getting the tracks ready.

Hearing Y/N listen to our songs stopped me mid-laugh and the others stopped to look at me.

"What's going on, Chan? Do you hear your soulmate?" Felix asked me eagerly. Being the first to hear their soulmate had made Felix especially curious about the whole thing. Not that the others weren't curious as well, but Felix had been the most excited.

"She, Y/N... she is listening to our songs." I managed to choke out with a slight smile tugging at the corners of my lips.

They all had different expressions but Jeongin was the first to speak.

"She clearly needed to hear my voice. Which songs is she listening to?" he said.

"She is listening to 'Waiting for Us', on repeat actually. She keeps playing it over and over again."

"Ahh, see?" Jeongin said, "She can't get enough of me. I am pretty hard to resist."

I laughed and smacked his arm. The mood in the room went back to normal and we all kept talking until it was late into the night. And the whole time as I went to sleep that night I thought about her listening to our songs. It brought me more happiness than I thought it would, and for once I slept really well.

***

In the morning, I woke up feeling refreshed. For the first day in a while, we had a free day and were able to do whatever we wanted. I would normally spend this day as a catch-up time to work on songs that needed to be finished as the other members would go and spend time together. For whatever reason, I decided to join them today. A day off was excruciatingly needed in my department, maybe it would give me more opportunities to talk with Y/N.

I was determined to get to know her better, starting today. Any chance I got throughout the day I would ask if she wanted to talk with me, but I got nothing from her end. It was almost the end of the day for me when she finally responded.

Hey, sorry I was asleep. School starts tomorrow and I wanted to get a good night's rest. Guess I slept too long.

"Oh! Hi! I am happy you slept well, what are you going to be studying in school?" Did I sound too eager? Could she tell that I had been waiting for this moment all day? She must have been able to tell because she laughed when she responded.

Thank you, I am going to be studying musical theater here in New York.

New York? So far away, but that would make sense why she didn't respond sometimes. Why our schedules seem to hardly overlap.

"Wow, that is awesome. Can I hear you sing sometime? I promise to give you something in return." I knew I couldn't promise her to hear me sing just yet, no matter how badly I wanted her to hear it.

Hmmm, that is very tempting. Let me see, what would I want in return from you? I am assuming that you live in Australia from the accent, although that doesn't explain the Korean you speak so frequently. Seems like too easy of a thing to ask where you live in exchange for my singing expertise. What if I ask for your phone number? It would be nice to have a solid form of communication with you to get to know you better.

"I will give you two things then, I did use to live in Australia, but I live in South Korea now. I was born here but grew up for a while in Australia. And you can for sure have my number, we mainly use a chat app here but I am pretty sure you can download it in the US?"

I gave her all the details and even got my first message from her. It was just a tiny heart emoji but it sent butterflies straight to my stomach. I sent her a heart back and saved her under Y/N-ie.

She said she had to go after that but we messaged the rest of the day. Getting to know her had to be the best part of my day. She loved cats, theater, learning about what foods people loved so she could cook for them, and she had big dreams to travel the world someday.

I could already tell how much she meant to me. And it surprised me how well we would fit together, I guess she wouldn't be my soulmate if we weren't supposed to complete each other's puzzles. I told her little things about myself in return and it felt like there was a weight lifting off my shoulders with every bit of myself I gave to her. If I didn't pace myself I would be telling her exactly who I was before I could stop it from happening.

Y/N

It had barely been any time since I had heard Chan and I already knew I loved him. I thought about him all day long as I attended my first day of classes. In between scouting out pathways to lectures and stuffing my brain with all the syllabi from the professors were thoughts of Chan. What was he doing today? What did he even look like? Was he thinking about me as much as I was thinking about him?

The only thing that held me to the ground was the music he had introduced me to. I messaged him how badly he ruined me by showing me this band. They had quickly become my favorite and I didn't even know that much about the members. As I got home that night I settled myself in front of my computer and googled them. 8 members, all living in South Korea. I looked at the images of their faces and was absolutely stunned. They were all gorgeous! How were human beings this god-like even allowed to exist?

I started to deep dive into the individual members' info pages. They had a member around my age, even though he was older by a few years. I started with his page, Jeongin. And as I worked my way up through the members I continued to be floored by them. I made a point to ask Chan if he knew Felix had been from Australia too? Maybe that is what brought him to like the band in the first place.

But as I scrolled up, and was met with the information on their leader my whole body froze. I didn't know whether to be upset, cry, or think I had been lied to even though he didn't outright lie. I did know however that I put all my displeasure into my tone when I called out his name.

"Chan, are you serious right now?" I don't know if I had ever heard myself get so upset before.

What? Are you alright? What's wrong?

I could tell how worried he was, and it almost made me feel bad for my tone. "I don't know what is going on but I would very much so enjoy an explanation Mr. Bang Chan of Stray Kids."

He was quiet. I was quiet, waiting.

So, maybe I should start at the beginning...

This is going to be a long night.

[erwinsvow]

𝐜𝐨𝐥𝐥𝐞𝐠𝐞 𝐡𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐜𝐚𝐧𝐨𝐧𝐬 | 𝐚𝐨𝐭 𝐛𝐨𝐲𝐬

a/n: hey everyone! hope you enjoy these college headcanons! part two can be found here! warning for nsfw in jean's, and mentions of alcohol/partying throughout!

jean kirstein

jean shows up to college thinking it’s gonna be high school part two, and quickly gets put in his place

his old antics (for both school and girls) won’t fly anymore, so he tries his hardest at both

i personally see jean as not the smartest, most gifted kid (in college!) but definitely one of the hardest workers

this man comes in pre-law and changes to sports management real quick

he definitely plays some kind of club sport, lacrosse or basketball or maybe even both and he is way too into it

like club lacrosse is his life.

he 100% has eyes for cheerleaders, because he loves idea of someone rooting for him, and if you are one, then it’s instantaneous

he notices you at one of his games, giving a shove to conny and asking if he knew who you were

which is met with “what do i look like, a phone book?”

he builds up the courage to ask you out eventually, to which of course you agree, and it’s pretty much a happy ending after that

makes for a lot of sweaty, post-match sex, with him still in his jersey and you in your uniform hiked up

reiner braun

frat bro reiner is a business major with a focus on finance

reiner is the guy who dedicates 100% of his time to school during the weekdays, and the weekends are for the bros

he’s the first in the library, last to leave lecture because he stayed behind to get clarifications, and pretty much aces everything

halloweekend, he decides to drag annie and bertholdt to a party, because they are in desperate need of letting loose

probably dressed up as something mildly douche-y that didn’t require a lot of thought: a foot ball player jersey with eye black improvised by annie

he is a heavy-weight if you’ve ever seen one, probably on his fifth cup of cheap beer and not even slightly buzzed

annie and bertholdt are sloshed, so he keeps one eye on them to make sure they’re alright

you, on the other hand, are serving as designated-driver for the night and sipping on soda

i think any kind of sweet, innocent costume (angel, fairy, woodland creature) would get his attention immediately

he goes over to you to try to make conversation, and finds himself stumbling over his words even though he just swore he wasn’t tipsy yet

but you find it cute, and given how you have seen him before around campus, studying all the damn time, you’re pleasantly surprised to find a sweet, interesting guy making conversation with you at a halloween party

eventually, your friends take off with their hook-ups, and reiner is left behind alone too after making sure everyone had a safe ride home

with no one left besides you two and his passed out friends, you offer him and his roommates a ride back to his dorm

after dropping annie off, you arrive at the dorm and help lug a blacked-out bertholdt to their room

you say goodnight and as you leave, feeling bold, you leave your number on the whiteboard hanging on their door

so that then turns into coffee-and-studying dates, and eventually a relationship before too long

armin arlert

i think we all know what armin is like in college: marine biology major and history minor

this is an effortless genius, so unlike reiner, he doesn’t have to spend all his time studying

i think armin would be the kind of guy who has school and life figured out, and he slowly realizes a healthy relationship is the one thing missing from his life

there’s honestly plenty of people who want to date him, if he had ever cared to return any of their gazes

i honestly see him being oblivious, so when a fellow classmate asks if he wants to study together, he goes “oh, sorry, i wasn’t really planning on studying, but maybe eren wants a study-buddy, i’ll let him know for you!” instead of realizing that was someone flirting

so it’s the same for you

you’re taking the marine sci class as a last resort, everything else was completely filled up, and you just had to get out of that physics class

but all this talk about oceans and sea-creatures is even worse, somehow. to put it short, you’re struggling, and armin is the kid who raises his hand at every question without so much as jotting down a note during lecture

you know mikasa through a friend-of-a-friend type situation, and ask her if armin would be willing to tutor you sometime

doesn’t matter that part of the reason you’re doing so poorly is because you’re staring at the back of his head most of class

armin and you get together to study on a saturday evening, and what began as a recap on the history of the ocean quickly turns into laughing, talking, and then “you wanna go grab something to eat?”

for someone so smart, he’s really dense

he thinks you’re being friendly and doesn’t want to assume you’re thinking this is a ‘date’ even though you’re internally screaming

it takes you leaning in for a kiss after he’s walked you back to your dorm for it to click

needless to say, he wasn’t quite so oblivious after that

eren yeager

eren was determined to get into the same college as armin and mikasa

my man is undecided, and then sociology after he’s forced to pick

not exactly a fuckboy, not exactly a stoner, just somewhere in between

procrastinates doing work and submits every thing a day late, even though he probably would have gotten full marks if it was on time

him and mikasa decide to take a marine bio class with armin, and he ends up falling asleep during lecture

i don’t see him going for a goody-two shoes type that wants to reform him, because he just wouldn’t want to deal with that

it’s not a toxic relationship, but pretty close to one

on again, off again ever since the two of you met in a dingy frat basement, absolutely hammered, and hooked up

this boy does not want to admit that he’s caught feelings, but eventually it comes to that because he is very much the jealous type

catches you engaging in polite conversation with reiner and he is seeing white in seconds

he realizes he has to make you his

marco bott

the most wholesome nursing major with a minor in english because he is a sucker for lit

i don’t think there is any shortage of girls who want to be with marco, just given how sweet and genuine he is

that being said, i feel like the few time he’s wanted to pursue a relationship with someone, they haven’t reciprocated/just saw him as a friend

which isn’t the easiest thing to deal with, but because he’s a mature angel, he doesn’t hold that against anyone

instead, he kind of succumbs to this false idea that people want to be his friend, and not his girlfriend, which he’s a little insecure about

that’s why i think you and marco would have idiot best friends to lovers, featuring everyone around you knowing how head over heels you both are except the two of you

you two meet in a particularly challenging class, and not recognizing anyone, you both turn to the friendliest face in the room to make study-buddies with

over a whole semester of late-night cramming (and talking), scribbling smiley faces on flashcards, and good luck texts before the exam, you realize how much you’re gonna miss constantly hanging out with marco

and on his end, he’s complaining to jean about how after the final, you two won’t have any reason to keep talking

“so ask her out then, you idiot”

“she probably doesn’t think of me like that…”

“are you blind?” jean says, with a roll of his eyes

after the class has ended and you’re both headed back home for winter break, you work up the nerve to text marco one last time

“let me know if you ever need help studying for another class :)”

you have no idea that he’s over the moon, and that finally brings an end to your friendship, and starts your relationship

bertholdt hoover

mister bertholdt is structural design and architecture major

there’s basically six of those total in your entire college, so he definitely gets a bit isolated/lonely sometimes

he basically came to college with reiner & annie, and figured he didn’t really need more friends than that

so when they’re busy, he’s just by himself

annie definitely makes fun of him for not spreading his wings and flying out of the metaphorical nest, but he’s comfortable with how it is

not a huge fan of the party scene, and prefers a quiet night of studying

i feel like you and him would be the last two studying in the library most nights, and sometimes walk out together after the librarian reminds you both the building is closing

so, when reiner and annie drag him to a party one weekend, he’s shocked to see you there too with outgoing friends of your own

he’s used to seeing you in the bright fluorescent lighting of the library, so this dim, hazy room after the shots have already gone to his head is hard to take in

you two eventually end up talking after your friends push you towards him

“funny seeing you here.” “i could say the same to you.”

he already has a crush (you do too, but he doesn’t want to accept that) so the alcohol inhibits his usual caution

a little bit of dancing, a lot of sitting on the pavement outside while looking at the moon, stars, and each other, topped off with a first-kiss starts your relationship

levi ackerman

teaching assistant levi is a staple of your college

almost infamous, really

you count your lucky blessings that he’s still a year or so away from graduating with his ph.d. in molecular biology and that he’s ta’ing this microbiology class

you’ve definitely heard all sorts of rumors, but you really don’t know what’s truth and fiction

he definitely hasn’t slept with a third of his students (right?) but the lingering way he looks at you isn’t helping quell your thoughts

technically speaking, teaching assistants and students are not allowed to date, interact, etc

until the semester in which you are their student is completed, at least

it doesn’t take long after that for you two to constantly run into each other

“how’re your new classes going? any hot ta’s?” he asks, sipping his tea from the bookstore cafe. you choke on your hot chocolate.

all this being said, you’re an upperclassmen about to graduate, possibly start a ph.d. or masters program yourself. i see him teaching upper-level courses exclusively.

it’s not long after that you admit your feelings to each other, since after all, there’s no time to waste

erwin smith

you’re a second year masters program in the history department. your specialization is military history, so of course professor smith is assigned as your thesis advisor.

i mean, he’s only written several textbooks on the subject

on first sight, you can’t believe he’s a professor. because certainly, this is a some cruel twist of fate. he’s closer to your age than some of his colleagues.

you both try to keep it strictly professional

at first least. this gets gradually harder and harder

there’s a certain chemistry there neither of you can deny.

having a mutual interest in the same subjects doesn’t help too much either. suddenly, you guys are spending hours pouring over topics for his next textbook and your thesis.

the conversation continues over chinese food in his office, long after the rest of the building has cleared out for their friday evenings

“well, i won’t keep you any longer. i’m sure you have much better plans on a friday night than talking military policy with me.”

“there is no where else i’d rather be.”

hope you all liked it! :)

[legendarynightmare-stuff]

This was a my first year of college. Living away from my family, my church going dropped a lot. And so did my everyday exposer to the idea of God and church teachings. With this came the realization about how much credit I would give god for things I did.

For example, I've always been a good student. High gpa, perfect attendance, ect. But everytime a test would come up or a big project would burden me my mom would tell me to pray about it and ask for help. And I would and normally I'd come out well good grades passing the tests but I never gave myself the credit and my mom even encouraged me to remember who actually had helped me get the good results on those things that I did. Made me feel odd is the best way I can think of to describe how it made me feel invalidated and a little bit fake in my educational successes. This entire year in college the amount of times I would struggle with an essay we're going in for a test I would fight with myself over whether or not I should pray course is my first instinct to do so in a crowded hallway thing against the wall and fold my arms and ask for help and guidance to get the grades I wanted from the assignment. However as tempting as it was to pray and ask for this help I wanted to be the person who got the results me by myself and my hard work and my studying or my lack of doing so and me dropping the ball in that responsibility.

I'm an English major and I take a lot of pride in my writing and I like to think that I'm pretty good at it. I had a professor this semester who I really wanted to impress with my writing skills I want to impress him so much that I had a breakdown over the first essay he had us write. I felt useless and scared and burnt out and unable to write and to show that I was a proficient writer and that what he was teaching me I took respectfully and and with the desire to continue bettering myself. Of course as you do when you're college student living away from home for the first time, I called my mom and I cried on the phone and I made a fool out of myself but I was scared and I felt like I wasn't going to be able to write the essay. I was three pages in and I didn't know what to do anymore.

My mother, of course after consoling me said if it's bothering you this much you need to pray about it and all I could think was what is praying going to do? Is God going to take my hand and help me type out my essay? Is he going to give me divine inspiration about how to write about a movie? How is praying going to help me? And of course the prideful part of me said no I want to do this. So I didn't pray and I wrote the essay and it weighed on me and I worried and I dreaded getting a grade back and when I did I got full credit a 100% on this essay that had been terrorizing me for weeks. I cannot tell you how proud of myself I was because I had done that I had worked through the horrible anxiety and exhaustion of this essay by myself it was me no one else was there I had done that.

I never prayed once about a single assignment, grade, essay, presentation, group project, anything I had to do in college for this first year, and I did good and it was me. I was able to feel pride in myself and I was able to feel fully accomplished. I don't know if I'm the only person who has struggled with this but there's something freeing about being able to do something well without having a said of prayer first. And without somebody telling you will remember it was God who truly gave you the ability to complete that task.

It was quite rewarding.

[sherlockisademigod]

Minor Schools around the world: Pyongyang, North Korea, 평양마술학교 (Pyongyang school of magic)

Minor Schools around the world: Pyongyang, North Korea, 평양마술학교 (Pyongyang school of magic)

Located within the heart of Pyongyang, it has, like the Magical Ministry of North Korea, gone to extreme lengths in order to not be seen by the public. Many richer children who can afford tutors don’t even receive the invite, and those on the outskirts of North Korea have to  contend with only 3 years of education in the school although Group C and go onto other international schools (Mostly the Philadelphia Exchange school) to finish their education Students must learn wandless magic as wands or other mediums are easy to spot by the general public and are even banned. A boarding school despite the majority of young children there, it’s within a single skyscraper and there are temporary obliviator charms should any muggles cross the threshold. It goes from ages 8-17, and you must choose which group you want to be in as it makes it easier for teachers to manage the students. 

Classes: Group A (For those planning to stay in the wizarding community): Potions, History of Korea, Korean, English, Charms, Transfiguration, Runes, Alchemy, Wards, DADA, Gym Group B (For those planning to stay in the muggle community): Chemistry, English, History of Korea, English, Math, Physics, Politics, Gym Group C (For those planning to continue in North American schools after age 11): English, Korean, Math, Potions, DADA, Charms, Transfiguration, Gym

Electives (three per semester): DADA, Math, Russian, Alchemy, Music, Drama, Art —--------- Separated by the groups they choose, Group A wears green vests, Group B red, and Group C brown. The standard red scarves also have a white stripe in the back to show support for the MMNK Communist Party, as well as a small blue dot to separate them from muggle students when out on the streets. Following some parts of the muggle North Korean curriculum (But mostly the Western, South Korean and even the Chinese and Japanese), students awaken at 5:30 (6:15 for those Ages 8-11), eat breakfast until 7:30, and classes start at 8. Lunch is from 11-12, then classes end at 4:30 for the younger students and 5:00 for the older ones. Dinner is from 5:30-6:45, but, like Japanese or Chinese school programs, older students must participate in after school classes from 7:00 to 9:00. Since there are no sports or clubs, there are no exemptions except for medical emergencies. Lights out at 9:00 for the younger kids, and lights out at 11 for the older kids. Some students may stay until midnight if they are struggling in classes. 

(I had to do a lot of research for this, but I couldn’t find like anything about the curriculum, so I shoved some other things in it as well to make up for the lack of)

School starts on September 7th, and winter break is from Christmas to January 7th (or the day after). School ends on July 4th. Although free to roam the school grounds, the no-muggle sight rule is so strict that students who see any member of the Kim family must duck back inside and alert the school. Students wear the standard North Korean school uniform in Navy blue, as well as a formal Gray wizarding robe with blue waves during special occasions. Wearing the robe out in public can involve a public  execution, even for the higher ups. 

This is one of my shorter ones as I didn’t really have anything to go off of other then the official website. I might make a post later about North Korea magical education, but I have a heck of a lot of things on my plate right now. Also y’all, remind me to write about the Philadelphia Exchange School, since right now I’m working on a School for Russia and another for the Amazon natives in Brazil. :). Yes, I’m talking to the only two people who bother to look at my shit posts. Thank you. 

[superfreakerz]

TDDUP 32

“Til Death Do Us Part”

Rated M for smut and heavy themes.

Reincarnation/Immortal AU

Summary: There are immortals and there are those who reincarnate, but it’s best to keep these things hidden. Lucy is attending college and meets Natsu, a boy with pink hair, a devilish smile, and a body that never ages.

Chapter 32

The New Semester

Lucy frowned as she got ready for the new semester. The rest of winter break went by in the blink of an eye. She had partied at Fairy Tail during New Years and even called her father to catch up and wish him a happy new year. Every day during the break was spent with Natsu and their friends, which made the new term that much harder.

Last quarter, she had every class with at least someone from their group. Now, she has absolutely none. Disappointed was an understatement when she received her schedule. She was devastated. She hated the thought of not seeing her friends in class, and she hated the thought of starting over even more.

"C'mon, Luce. Cheer up. It's not the end of the world if we don't have classes together," Natsu's voice rang out. He spent nearly every night at her apartment, it was rare when he was at his own place.

"Easy for you to say!" she shot back. "You at least have a friend in every class!"

"Friend? I only have Gray in all my classes. That's not a blessing, that's a curse! That's worse than immortality!"

Lucy only rolled her eyes. "Oh, whatever. Point is, I'm going to be all alone! I'll have to make new friends! And in case you don't remember, I suck at that!"

"What do you mean? You made friends with all of us!"

"That's only because Levy introduced us. And she was the one to come up to me when we first met. I can't make friends on my own! And let's not forget that our first meeting went horribly!"

Natsu smoothed a hand over the back of her head. "Quit worrying so much. You'll be fine, I promise. And even if you don't make friends, I already told you that I'll pick you up from class everyday so we can go to Fairy Tail together and meet up with the rest of the gang. It's not like we're going to stop being friends just because we're in different classes. You're stuck with us now that you know our secret."

Lucy laughed. "Oh, I don't need you to pick me up today. I'm going to meet with Aquarius after my classes. But I guess you're right."

"I always am! Now hurry up and finish getting ready."

Wanting to look nice on her first day of class, Lucy threw on a pair of light jeans and a white sweater. It was still winter, so she couldn't show off her body just yet.

"Alright, I'm heading out now!" she called out.

Natsu gave her a quick kiss, sending her off with a grin. "Have fun!"

Lucy was surprised she was relatively early to her first class, taking a seat in the back. This quarter, all three of her classes were squeezed into the same days, but luckily she only had classes Tuesday and Thursday. That left her with the rest of the week to do whatever she wanted. Her first class was English with a professor named Virgo. According to Makarov, she was also a reincarnation. Lucy hoped she would be able to talk to her about it.

Suddenly, the seat next to her was pulled out. Lucy turned to find a boy with dirty blonde hair sitting next to her, flashing her a dazzling smile. His eyes were dark, his lashes long. If Lucy were single, she was sure she would be swooning over the pretty boy.

"Nice to meet you," the boy said, taking her hand in his. "I'm Hibiki. What might your name be, beautiful?"

Lucy was taken aback by his brazenness, reminded of her first boyfriend. "I'm Lucy."

"Lucy. What a pretty name!"

"Uhh, thanks."

"So, Lucy, what year are you?"

"I'm a freshman."

Hibiki gasped. "Me too! It must be fate that we met today!"

Lucy nearly rolled her eyes. "Fate? This is English 101, everyone here is a freshman."

Before Hibiki could reply, someone cleared their throat at the front of the room, grabbing her attention. It was a woman, relatively short with a pink pixie cut. Her eyes were a jaded blue.

"I'm Virgo, your professor for this quarter."

Lucy leaned forward in her seat, eager to learn more about the fellow reincarnation.

Once class ended, Lucy quickly packed her things before heading to her next class. She wished she could have talked to Virgo about reincarnation, but there were too many people around, not to mention she had limited time to make it to her next class. Not that there was a need to rush. She had all quarter to talk to the fellow reincarnation.

During her walk across campus, Lucy was surprised to find that Hibiki was walking along with her.

"Umm, is there a reason you're going this way?" she asked, starting to get weirded out by the boy.

He arched his brow. "My class is this way."

"Oh, okay."

When Lucy made it to her next class, she stopped outside the door to glare at Hibiki, who had followed her all the way there.

"Okay, you're stalking me," she said, crossing her arms.

Hibiki laughed awkwardly. "I'm not, I swear! I have this class!"

"There's no way we're in the same class! Show me your schedule!" The boy handed her his schedule, which she glossed over quickly. "Wait, we share every class together! How the hell did that happen?"

"I told you it was fate!" Hibiki exclaimed, grabbing Lucy's hand. He went to place a kiss over it, but she snatched it away.

"I can't believe how similar you are to an old friend of mine," she said, rolling her eyes.

"This friend of yours must have been charming!"

She laughed, and in a voice laced with sarcasm she replied, "Big time. Well, if we're going to be in all the same classes together, we might as well be friends. But no funny business, alright? I have a boyfriend."

Hibiki held his chest in mock pain. "I should have known a girl as beautiful as yourself was taken."

The two walked to the back of the classroom, taking their seats.

"So, what are you majoring in?" Lucy asked. She wasn't used to making friends on her own, but with Hibiki's laidback and all too familiar personality, she found it easy to slide into a conversation.

"Computer science. What about you?"

"Creative writing."

Lucy was about to ask the boy where he was from when their professor stepped into the room. He was a tall and lanky man with black hair. Unlike Virgo, he was a bit older, a couple of wrinkles adorning his face around his mouth. He wore a dark green turtleneck and black slacks that accentuated his slender legs.

"Hello, everyone. My name is Sagittarius. I will be your World History professor. I assume everyone came prepared with their textbooks."

Lucy sweat dropped. It was only the first day of the quarter, she didn't have her textbook yet. As if sensing her dilemma, she felt Hibiki nudge her elbow that was resting on the desk before he slid his textbook between the two of them to share. She shot him a quick grin.

"Thanks," she whispered.

He returned the smile. "Don't mention it."

Class seemed to drag on forever, Sagittarius' emotionless voice doing nothing to help as he discussed the contents of the first chapter. While Lucy may not have been an immortal who lived through most of the world's events, she had still been around long enough to have been through a good chunk of them. That, along with taking the same classes every lifetime, made learning relatively easy.

Once class ended, Lucy and Hibiki walked to a small coffee shop that was on campus. They had thirty minutes before their next class, and considering it was the first day, they didn't have too much homework to do yet. Instead, they decided to chat over a cup of coffee, which Lucy insisted on paying for since Hibiki was nice enough to share his textbook and send pictures of the portions she would need for homework later.

Lucy found it strange just how similar Hibiki was to her first boyfriend. She figured that was why it was easy to open up to him. Already familiar with flirty playboys, his personality didn't scare her away. Instead, it made things easier.

"I guess making friends isn't so hard."

The two talked about everything, ranging from where they grew up to what they wanted to do after college. Lucy had to admit, it was fun making new friends.

When they headed to their last class for the day, they took seats in the back yet again. It didn't take long for their professor to stumble in the room. Lucy's eyes nearly bugged out of their sockets seeing how absolutely ripped the man was. It looked like his white button-up shirt was going to pop any second with how large his muscles were.

"Yo! I'm Taurus!" the man exclaimed. His eyes filtered around the room, hearts practically shining in them whenever they glazed over a girl. Lucy wondered how he was able to teach given his pervy attitude.

Yet, when he started to go over the math topics they were going to learn over the quarter, all playfulness disappeared from his voice, replaced with seriousness. Unlike with Sagittarius, Taurus was surprisingly good at keeping the class engaged, and despite how hard to believe it was, he managed to make math seem somewhat interesting. Time practically flew by. To make matters even better, Taurus dismissed them without assigning any homework.

Heading out of the classroom, Hibiki invited Lucy to hang out.

"Thanks, but I have an old professor I want to catch up with," Lucy said with a smile. She was proud of herself for having made a friend already, one that even wanted to hang out with her after school.

Hibiki's eyes widened. "Oh, is it your boyfriend? Are you dating your old professor?"

"What? No! My boyfriend goes to this school too, but he's not a professor. Just a student."

"Oh. I'd love to meet the man that stole your heart! He must be quite the specimen!"

Lucy laughed, rolling her eyes. "I'm sure you'll meet him someday considering he plans on picking me up from school everyday. Anyways, I have to go. I'll see you Thursday!"

Waving a quick goodbye to her new friend, Lucy headed towards Aquarius' office. It was clear that Aquarius knew about her reincarnation, so why didn't she ever say anything instead of giving cryptic clues? And how did she even know about it in the first place? Had she slipped up in any way? If that was the case, she needed to know to make sure not to repeat the mistake in the future.

Reaching the cranky professor's office, Lucy peered inside to find the woman glaring at her computer screen. She wasn't surprised that there weren't any students utilizing Aquarius' office hours. After all, she was terrifying.

Feeling irked that Aquarius had kept things hidden from her, Lucy strode inside the office without bothering to knock and planted her hands on her hips with a glare. The older woman glanced up at her, a scowl immediately gracing her face.

"What do you want, brat? I thought I was finally free of you," she remarked.

Lucy closed the door behind her, locking it. "How did you know about me?"

"I don't know what you're talking about."

"Yes you do. Makarov already told me about you, along with the others. Why didn't you tell me?"

Aquarius sighed, the scowl on her face finally relenting. When she looked back up at Lucy, her features were softer, a rare expression on the woman's face.

"We wanted you to find out on your own," she finally answered. "I assume Makarov told you about Acnologia and the other immortals?"

Lucy nodded. "Yeah. He told me about how we're all being hunted by some psychopath."

"And how did you take it?"

"...Not well, I guess."

"That's why I decided it was best not to tell you."

"But why?" Lucy asked. "Obviously I would have liked to know that there are others like me! What does Acnologia have to do with anything!?"

Because I didn't want you to be paranoid," Aquarius answered. "Do you know how many reincarnations live in fear for the rest of their lives, over and over again all because they found out about Acnologia? We already have enough to worry about, it's better not to have the knowledge of yet another threat to us. Besides, I was also doing it for you and Pinkie."

"You mean Natsu? What does he have to do with it?"

"Well you're dating, aren't you? I didn't want you to get scared of him since he's an immortal and all."

Lucy choked on her saliva. "W-What? How did you know about that?"

Aquarius sighed, tired of having to explain things. "I know about all of the immortals enrolled at this school, even the ones that are in Fairy Tail's basement. Considering the past between reincarnations and immortals, we are given information about each immortal so that we can choose if we want to work here or not."

"So you really knew this whole time? How did you know about me?"

"I actually met you in your first life."

Lucy felt the wind getting knocked out of her with that revelation. Feeling dizzy, she took a seat across from Aquarius, resting her head in her hands.

"I don't remember you," she finally said, meeting the older woman's gaze.

"That's because you were just a baby at the time," Aquarius replied.

"How did you know about me then? You couldn't have possibly recognized me when I was just a baby."

"I was friends with your mom. You're strangely enough the spitting image of her- though you lack all of her grace. When I first saw you, I thought that you were her and that she was a reincarnation as well. Until I found out your name, then I remembered that she named her daughter Lucy. It wasn't too hard to put the pieces together after that, though I did do a bit of research on you as well just to be sure."

Lucy gave a sad smile remembering her first mother. "I can't believe you knew her."

"It was a shock to me too when I first saw you," Aquarius replied, her own lips tugging upwards into a smile. "She was a fine woman, which is why it's so surprising you turned out like that. It must be the fault of the rest of your parents." Lucy shot her a glare before Aquarius continued, "Anyways, it was my idea to keep you from the truth, so don't even think about getting mad at Scorpio and the others."

"Don't worry, I'm not mad anymore. Just a little surprised is all. I still can't believe there are so many others like me, and that there are so many near me too."

"Who are your teachers this quarter?"

"Virgo, Sagittarius, and Taurus."

"Ah. Did you know they're all reincarnations too?"

Lucy grinned cheek to cheek. "Wow! I heard Virgo was, but I didn't know Sagittarius and Taurus were too!"

Aquarius nodded. "If you want, you would probably be allowed to teach here if you wanted. All you have to do is turn in an application to Makarov. You'd be allowed to come here every lifetime if you choose to do so."

Lucy considered the option. Truthfully, she had no idea what the future had in store for her. Still, it was nice to have another option available to her. Especially since this one allowed her to stay near Natsu and the others.

After chatting with Aquarius for another hour, Lucy finally decided to head over to Fairy Tail where her friends were waiting for her. Sure enough, when she strode inside the pub, she found Levy and Natsu hunched over, dejected from the conversation that was taking place around them.

"Why do you two look so upset?" Lucy asked once she approached them.

The two lit up like Christmas trees at the sight of her.

"Finally!" Natsu exclaimed, grabbing her wrist and gesturing for her to sit down. "We've been waiting forever! It sucks not having classes together!"

"Weren't you the one telling me it wasn't a big deal?"

"Well I changed my mind! It sucks!"

Levy nodded with the boy. "I agree! I've been wanting to talk to you all day about your story! I finally finished it!"

"Already!?"

"Yeah! We've gotta talk about it!"

"Shouldn't you guys give her room to breathe?" Gray asked with a chuckle. Natsu and Levy were practically leeching onto the poor blonde. "Anyways, how was talking to Aquarius?"

Lucy smiled. "It was nice. She explained how she knew me and why she didn't tell me about it in the first place. Oh, she also told me that if I wanted to, I could probably teach at the university after graduation."

"Are you going to?" Erza asked.

"I don't know yet. There's a lot to think about. But since I'm still a freshman, I have plenty of time to mull it over."

Natsu stared at the blonde beside him. In truth, her teaching at the university sounded like a dream come true considering it meant she would stay in Magnolia. Then they could stay together forever, even in her next lives. Not wanting to come off too strong or pressure her in any way, the boy decided to keep his thoughts to himself for now.

He didn't know what the future entailed for the two of them. He knew that he wanted to be with Lucy for the rest of his infinite life, but that was a lot to ask of someone. He knew firsthand how long life could be, he didn't know if Lucy would feel tied down. After all, she lived in different countries, had different families, her life was forever changing while his stayed the same. Not to mention most of the time he was kept in the basement. What if she wanted to go on a date? What if she got tired of hanging out in his room? There was nothing he could do about it, and he wasn't sure the girl would want to put up with it. After all, who would?

Swallowing thickly, Natsu pushed those thoughts to the back of his mind. It was like Lucy said, they had plenty of time to figure it out. But no matter how many times he repeated that thought in his head, the worries he had were only swept under a thin veil that threatened to fly away with the slightest gust of wind. And he was sure they were going to come back sooner or later.

[fukurodaze]

if i ever get lost

pairing/s: third year!haiba lev x gn!reader genre: fluff, romantic tension aka best and softest tension word count: 3.2k warnings: like, one curse word this was also requested by anon! “3rd year Lev w a reader who’s struggling to pass all their homeworks, projects and quizzes (bc they piled up their works ;;) while thinking of how should they study for college/uni entrance exams?”

special thanks to nat @natszoo​ and ellie @lcnelyinthesky​ for beta reading and helping me w this!! 

LISTEN TO: somebody loves you - jeremy zucker; glitter - benee

lowercase intended!

you throw your head back when you forget the term written on the flip side of the flash card haiba lev is holding. it’s a friday night, far past anyone’s bedtimes, but final exams for the first semester start on monday and you’re not sure where to start. haiba lev, being the person who has nothing better to do, agreed to come over and flip cards with random kanji, english, and biology terms on it.

lev might also be here because it’s an open secret that he’s liked you since first year, and you’ve never answered to his feelings, but you’re thinking friends for now - until you memorise all of this semester’s kanji, english vocabulary, and biology terms, that is.

“the phospholipid bilayer is made up of...”

lev gives you time to think, his wide eyes going between the answer on the card and your thinking face.

“shit, uh, the phospholipid bilayer is made up of two layers of phospholipids?”

“makes sense, but no.” lev answers, flipping the card to show you.

“the phospholipid bilayer is made up of a polar, hydrophilic area containing a phosphate group bound to glycerol, and a non-polar, lipophilic area containing fatty acids...” you read aloud, trying to memorise what’s currently going out your mouth, in one ear, and out again through another ear.

“you know, your flash cards are pretty comprehensive.”

you raise an eyebrow, “is that... a good thing?”

“i mean, yes and no,” he takes another sip of the tea your mom had insisted to bring to guests, “it’s harder to memorise, but it’s better for details. but-”

“but?” you watch as he takes another sip. 

“i think if you really don’t know where to go, just understand the basic concept of everything. for one - what is the function of the bilayer?”

“why do you sound smart?” you question, tilting your head jokingly.

“hey! i am smart! most times! with tests like these that have essay questions, you just gotta learn the basic concept of each term and connect them.” lev advices, recounting his former volleyball captain and nekoma high school alumni, kuroo tetsuro’s, words when lev himself was barely scraping past his first semester finals when he’d just transferred.

“easier said than done in two nights,” you slouch your head on your desk, “plus! it’s not just biology. or exams.”

if memorising all these terms in the span of two days sounds bad enough, you’re still crushed with the supplementary course work and projects due next week as well. 

you let out a deep groan. you’re so tired. it’s like biology information only comes up when you’re studying for english, biology only coming up for modern literature, and mathematics somehow being inserted into the little unknown kanji in modern literature. it’s all too much at once.

“it’s all too much at once, huh?” lev places his head on your desk, only a few inches away from your face. normally, you’d push him away, pull your head back up, or maybe even give him a light slap on a bad day, but today you welcome him. 

you nod, quiet. you haven’t been able to get a breather. it’s essay this, quiz that, lab report here, test there. your mind is blank.

now, lev sits back up on the extra chair from your dining room, “have you eaten dinner?”

“why are you asking... it’s like, midnight.”

“the question still stands.”

you sigh, “nope.”

lev hums. he takes a pen, then twirls it, like his fingers possessed polar magnets that somehow let the pens never fall from his hands. but it does eventually, and when it falls with a plastic click on your wooden desk, lev visibly takes a big breath and says, “do you want to get ramen?”

you exhale through your nose and smile. “are you asking me out, haiba?”

“is it inappropriate to ask you out now?”

damn this tall dork. come to think of it, he’s never actually asked you out despite the obvious ways he’d vouch for your attention in the past. you’re quite surprised, frankly, as he’s always been so loud in the ways he’s wanted to be with you but never really made it seem like anything was going to happen. 

but, hey, it’s late enough for you to put down your doubts about him away. after all, he’s been in your room for four hours, just helping you study. he wasn’t even studying himself - he just sat there, doing almost nothing. and for a guy like him, you wonder how he’s managed to keep there for so long.

“sure.”

lev’s eyes widen. “wait, really?”

“yeah,” you begin to set aside all your study materials, “we can go to a twenty-four hour place in the city, too.”

“alright! let me get you your coat!”

“my coat?” you raise an eyebrow when he hands you the coat you wear the most, feeling both flattered and slightly surprised that he recognises it straight away from your messy room. the boy comes to retreat his coat as well from one of the hangers in your room, and he even offers to get you your socks and boots.

“alright, alright, you don’t have to be that ready to go,” you joke. 

he makes sure there is no noise when you two walk out of your house, through the suburbs of tokyo and to the nearest train to the city. 

“aren’t you two a bit young to be here so late?” the shopkeeper, an old lady, mutters under her breath. you catch it through her croaky voice when you and lev enter the place together, but you pay no attention because all you care to focus on is the smell of broth and your empty stomach.

“for two, please,” lev says, undoubtedly hearing the woman’s remark, but answering with a smile. she smiles too, and so do you, and it makes you remember all the times he’s smiled and you’ve wanted to either punch him or hold his hand. 

today just happens to be one of those days where you want to hold his hand. you shake the thought off.

when you two are seated at the ramen bar, your head falls onto your palm, tilting back to face lev, his chin covered partly by his usual maroon scarf. you had whispered to him earlier on the train what you wanted to order, and lev quickly speaks to the waiter as your tired gaze rises from from the squiggly wooden patterns embedded in the polished wooden table to the boy that’s sitting right next to you. 

at first glance, you remember haiba lev’s face to be satisfying to look at. you remember when he had just transferred to your class in the first year, and you developed the annoying habit of looking forty-five degrees to the right every time you were bored in class, as you thought his face was much easier on the eyes than complex quadratic equations or japanese history. 

for a while you wondered if it was because he certainly looked different - not only was he practically a giant, but he had eurocentric features that stood out from the majority of the student body as well (it also didn’t help that he quite literally and figuratively filled any room he was in). though, maybe, after a while, when everyone got used to the sight of a new face, you kept your line of sight at a forty-five degree angle, just peering above his cheekbones. the same way you’re looking at him right now.

and really, the only word for it is handsome. dashing. good-looking. you’ve always known that, but now that you put it into words in your head, you notice the chiseled jaw, pointed nose and emerald green eyes feel a bit more-

“what you staring at?” his baritone voice cuts through your thoughts cleanly.

you don’t like where this conversation will go. “haiba, are you doing any college entrance exams?”

lev cocks his head to one side, thinking, before nodding, “i think i am. why?”

“how are you studying for them?”

lev clicks his tongue, and it brings you to surprise, “get your mind away from studying! we’re not here in the city at, like, one in the morning to talk about college entrance exams!”

you sigh, “okay, fine. but, still, answer my question?”

“i just do practice problems for twenty minutes every day,” lev shrugs, “okay, now, can we move away from studying?”

you hum lazily, watching as two bowls of ramen arrive at the bar. he had ordered what you told him you wanted to order, both bowls almost identical in smell, shape, size, and content. almost, because lev didn’t have any spring onions in his bowl.

“haiba,” you call, earning a quick call of your name in response, “do you not like spring onions?”

lev nods so obviously that he seems proud. his chopsticks mix the entire bowl together before picking up the half-boiled egg and eating the slice whole. when he swallows it down, he asks you, “you noticed.”

“i mean, yeah,” you reply, “why do you not like them? they’re like, essential.”

lev takes a slurp of his noodles, and then a spoonful of the broth, “i just never liked their texture - which is funny, since my entire family loves adding spring onions.”

now it’s your turn to slurp into your ramen, one bite turning into two, and two turning into the entire content of the bowl. lev seems to eat twice as fast, seemingly having a strategy to cooling down the hot noodles on his spoon while simultaneously folding a piece of pork charsiu in between the loops of each spoonful of noodles, making sure that the little wrap is bathed in a little bit of broth. you find yourself smiling at his act, almost like he has a system of his own when it came to eating ramen - well, he usually had a system of his own when doing just about anything.

the meal is quiet for the most part, with little mumbles of how your tea needs a refill and the ruffling sounds between sheets of tissue to wipe off the broth around your lips. it’s fulfilling, and the look on lev’s face says he’s happy too.

when you two make it out of the ramen bar, 1am feels the same as 9pm. somehow, you’re no longer the kind of sleepy you were when you were flipping through flashcards on your desk, and instead, you’re almost dreading to go home. you think it might also be the neon lights, but there’s some kind of electricity you’re not yet willing to let rest for the night.

luckily, lev doesn’t feel the need to rush. although his steps are big and his voice is loud, he takes his time when you two make the silent agreement to make the walk to the train station as long-winded as possible. his voice is lower, and softer, this time, and when he speaks to you about his friends from his old school, you convince yourself it’s the most interesting topic in the world - because it is. because it’s lev.

when he stops in his tracks, you stop too, watching him go into a small trinket shop you’ve always seen but never had the means to afford to go in. you reckon you might own something from this store, though.

“haiba, you like little trinkets?” your eyes scroll through the shelves of delicate and virtually useless items, eyes landing on a small lion cub made of clear resin with a small blob of gold floating in the middle of its clear body. you’re not usually drawn to any animal trinkets, as you’ve gotten used to decorative objects like bows or feathers or lace, but today you think about the lion cub. despite it looking severely overpriced, you take it in your hand anyway, not noticing lev’s figure coming right behind you.

“do you want that one?” you yelp in surprise when he says that, turning around to find yourself so close to him you could smell the dried raindrops on his padded coat.

“i’m pretty sure it’s overpriced. trinkets are usually overpriced anyways.”

“wait, let me check it,” you hand lev the trinket, “how much is your keychain?”

you furrow your eyebrows, “what?”

“you know, the keychain on the bag you bring to school.”

“oh,” you try to remember the time you had saved up for that keychain, “i think it was about three thousand yen? it’s overpriced. definitely.”

“well, this one’s only two thousand and five hundred. i’ll get it for you.”

“wha- lev!” you whine, “you’re going to make me feel bad- wait what’s wrong?” you see the boy freeze up in front of you, a big smile creeping onto his cheeky face.

he doesn’t reply for a bit, and you’re faced with raised cheekbones and a wide mouth. you try again, “was it something i did? or said?”

“you called me lev,” oh, you did. 

now his smile spreads from ear to ear, and it’s spreading to you. “you never call me lev.”

“huh, well.” you bite the inside of your mouth, “i guess now i do.”

it’s enough for you to let him spend over two thousand yen on a single trinket. you watch as he waits for the trinket to be wrapped neatly in pretty paper and put in a pink cardboard bag, its motif pretty enough to be its own product in the store. 

you stand by the doorframe of the store, mouth ready to open with the words ‘i’ll pay you back’. but it seems like lev had heard you from the future, and before you could do anything, he tells you, “don’t pay me back. this is my gift to you.”

“for exams?”

he grins. “you know, lev means lion in russian.”

the bell of the store rings as you two make your way out, this time really going back to the station. you answer with a ‘really?’ at his fun fact but you keep it to yourself that you’ve known ever since he first transferred and everyone had asked him about it. 

“yeah, and the thing’s a lion cub, so, it’s like you have me all the time!” 

you giggle, walking up the steps to the train platform. “you’re really something, lev.”

lev stretches his arms out, with long limbs you swear ghost your shoulder. you get that feeling again, in your hands, where you just can’t seem to understand why you want to take his hand in yours so bad, so you ask the boy if you can hold onto the bag with your trinket. lev passes it to you, and you hate how you would’ve liked for your thumb to graze over his thumb for longer. you hate it even more when he motions you onto the train, and in a blur, you take his arm, leading him to corner seats on the train. you feel your face heat up. 

ah, so that’s how it is.

now you’re conflicted. not that lev had ever made you feel uncomfortable - no, never - but you had never known how to return his obvious feelings. he would act on them, as always, and one day, as you fell asleep one day after final semester exams in the second year, leaning back into the plastic seat of a suburban tokyo metro rail (which lev thought was very dangerous), lev had muttered in the quietest and most subtle manner, ‘what do i do with my feelings?’

then, in a haze, with eyes barely open, you had moved your head from your seat to his shoulder, painting his cheeks red - dumbstruck. he thought you forgot about it the next morning, and you barely remember, so nothing happened afterwards. yet, when you think of him, you think of hues of orange peeling the sky into purple; of freshly washed school uniforms; of heads leaning on shoulders and fingers intertwined. you don’t know how to answer him.

with lev, there is chatter and laughter and blunt remarks that almost get him slapped in the face. still, there is a box, bigger than the bag your trinket is in, that contains words that you don’t think you or lev have ever said in pure daylight and wake. 

“hey, lev?”

you want to open that box.

“yeah?”

but you don’t know how to do it yet.

“the phospholipid bilayer is made up of a polar, hydrophilic area containing a phosphate group bound to glycerol, and a non-polar, lipophilic area containing fatty acids.”

lev exclaims a series of ‘oooh!’s in delight. 

“was that correct?”

“um,” lev gulps, “i think so? i mean- i think so.”

but you will open it, sooner or later, and it rings in your head when you step off the train and walk into the neighbourhood. right now, nothing is different - the air is not heavier, his eyes do not sparkle like love interests do in the movies, and you do not look through a rose-coloured lens. monday is finals, and the weekend is studying. you tell yourself this.

lev stops at your doorstep, and you almost feel a sear in your chest at the thought of him leaving for the night. 

“so, good luck with next week, y/n.”

you nod, trinket bag in your hands, “you too, lev.”

you find that your arms are opening up, a small pout on your face as lev comes to wrap his arms around you, coats shuffling against each other as you hold each other at three in the morning. 

when you pull away from the hug, you start to ramble a bit, scrambling for new topics to bring up in hopes of just a few more seconds with him - that, and trying to stop yourself from your newfound want to cup this boy’s face in your hands and kiss him square on the lips. you wonder if he would be good at kissing, and you wonder how much you’ll regret having these thoughts tomorrow. 

but even conversation dies when you know it’s getting too cold, so you bid your sweet goodbyes and promise him not to overwork; he reminds you that it’s better to do short but frequent study sessions than fewer and highly intensive ones. you nod, your boots heavy on your doorstep, the hushed sound of keys in doors slowly becoming the only sound you hear as you assume lev’s left already.

until he calls your name.

your head spins fast towards the boy, watching as he makes long strides to stand at your doorway once again, scarf prodding the tip of his nose, so close to your face. he’s red.

“during exams, or tomorrow, or studying for entrance exams- if you ever get lost-” he pants, and unties his scarf from his neck.

“you’ll find me, okay?” the scarf comfortably hangs around your neck now, covering your mouth. he pats your head twice. it’s warm - literally. 

you barely get the chance to say anything before he darts out of your house with a quick goodbye. you’re left confused, flustered, and excited at once, and this time, you think you might have the words as to why. 

you like to imagine you taste sweetness, see eyes that sparkle, and feel butterflies in your stomach. 

“it might not be so bad,” you whisper, looking down at the pretty little bag containing one unnecessarily expensive item lev had bought you.

right; you have feelings for him too. 

then you make up your mind: you’ll tell him next friday. and if your finals stand between tonight and next friday, then, all the more motivation to get through them, right?

you make sure to set an alarm for seven in the morning, kanji textbooks lined up for tomorrow. 

[minghaocouture]

Pairing: Lee Jihoon x Fem!Reader Genre: Collage AU, Fluff, the tiniest angst Warning: Minor self esteem issues (from reader), Language WC: 2.9K

A/N: @woozisnoots​​ my sweetie baby! This is your Holiday gift from me!! I wub yoooou and i hope you like this <333 The song mentioned in the fic is Tell me you love me by Bolbbalgan4 and i actually just kept listening to it on repeat while writing this lol, it’s such a cute song, and all the italic words are song lyrics (the english translations)! Also yes i shamelessly name dropped our friend group in this, don’t judge me

“You don’t accept my hi as usual I know you’re popular and handsome  but you’ve always given the cold shoulder Only to me.” 

The lyrics flowed easily from your lips and into the microphone, eyes closed as you felt the vibes of the chorus and attempted to put the right layers of emotion into the song as you did so. The instrumental paused just as the chorus ended you heard the familiar sound of your partner through the headphones.

“Can you run that one more time. Hold that last note a bit longer, and make the staccato in the first beginning a bit sharper.” On the other side of the glass sat Lee Jihoon, and the brains behind the operation despite this being a partnered project. At the beginning of this, you never would have thought that the two of you would have been working together so well. Not with how the project began. 

You gave him an affirmation of your understanding and he began from the end of the pre-chorus, letting the melody and his test vocals fill your ears just before you began again.

When you had first been assigned partners, you were less than enthused. Sure, you had a major crush on Jihoon, his passion for music inspired you and you always loved watching him in class when he would perform. But, he was notoriously a rather critical partner. During the last partnered project in class a close friend of yours, Binu, had been assigned to work with him. She ended up confessing that she didn’t really get too much of a say on anything and that Jihoon did the project mostly by himself. Needless to say, she was much happier with this project being partnered with your mutual friend Mar. 

The recording session wrapped up nicely and you began packing your things as you realized how late it was in the evening and your friends would start to get concerned if they didn’t hear back from you. So you pulled your phone from your bag and quickly messaged your group chat to let them know the situation. As you went to place your bag over your shoulder you heard the familiar sound of a stomach growling.

Your eyes quickly scanned the room and watched Jihoon sigh and sit back down at the recording booth, his laptop still open but he didn’t look like he had any intention of leaving to get sustenance. Much to your own surprise you decided to speak up.

“Hey, I was planning on grabbing some dinner. Did...you wanna come too? We’ve been here for a while and we could probably use some food.” You suggested, an inviting smile plastered itself onto your face. You hoped it didn’t seem fake, after all you had invited Jihoon to eat before and he had always denied the offer. 

Much like all previous times, you saw his rather small head shake in denial.

“Nah, I’ve got some stuff to finish up here. I’ll probably grab something before heading back to my dorms...or maybe I’ll ask Mingyu to pick me up some dinner.” You’d heard about Mingyu before, his roommate who he says he tolerates but you can tell that he does really care about the guy from how he talks about it. 

Most people say that Jihoon is hard to read and closed off, but you know they’re wrong. He just...emotes differently, he has his own ways of showing affection and you can see it in his eyes and the little things he does and says. Being around him like this has honestly only made your crush worse. 

“Well, alright, but you better eat something and go home tonight. I don’t wanna come back here tomorrow and see you in this same outfit cause you haven’t gone home.” Which...had happened on more than one occasion during this project.

He shrugged, not turning back to face you.

“I brought extra clothes this time.”

***

“Seriously? I can’t believe he said no again! Ugh, I hate him and you deserve better than to pine after that short stack!” Rolling your eyes as you listened to Krys ranting once again. 

Since Jihoon refuted your invitation you decided to invite out your best friends. The 5 of you heading to a nearby fried chicken place, crowding into the booth that your friend group had basically claimed (when it was available at least) 

“It’s fine Krys, he’s just really into his work. He’s probably going to be in the studio editing until all hours of the morning.” You explained before shoving some of the complimentary salad into your mouth as you took a break from the chicken itself. “I might even take him some food before I head back to the dorms.”

“Nu-uh! I’m not letting you! That boy doesn’t even talk to you outside of class, he doesn’t deserve your time or your energy!” Krys exclaimed.

“I mean, he kinda does. Talk to her, I mean he waved at her last week.” Maya brought up in between her unsuccessful attempts at stealing the rest of the table’s pickled radish. “We were walking to the lounge and she saw him and waved at him, and he finally waved back.”

“Oh what, after ignoring her for a whole semester? Real nice of him. My best friend deserves better!” She declared, aggressively taking another bite of her chicken before continuing. “If I weren’t already dating the best man in the whole world, I would just date you myself.”

This brought the rest of the table another fit of laughter. It was never a dull moment in your friend group and you were always grateful that you had them in your life. 

“This just in, Krys won’t leave big dick Wonwoo so her best friend can have a good relationship.” Mar joked, cackling at the thought. The laughter seemed to get worse when she realized that Wonwoo himself had just walked up to the table to set down a drink refill for Binu. The male’s face was flushed red, obviously having heard the conversation. Which prompted another round of joyful laughter from the group.

It was a good night, but your mind still drifted back to Jihoon, who was most likely still sitting alone in the studio, hungry yet still hard at work. As the conversation drifted away from you finally, you got Wonwoo’s attention and ordered a small meal for take out with a plan to deliver the food before returning home. Even if Krys would give you shit for it.

***

“Jihoon, it’s me” You knocked on the studio door as you entered, assuming you wouldn’t be interrupting anything since you saw the light on but heard now sounds from inside. Surprisingly, or rather unsurprisingly, you got no response as you entered. Simply making your way in despite any acknowledgement.

The more surprising thing was what you found once you entered. There, still sitting in the rolly chair with his head firmly planted on the desk in front of his work laptop was Lee Jihoon. Fast asleep, small snores leaving his frame as he dreamed. It would honestly be pretty cute if it weren’t for the fact that you knew this was probably happening because of how much he overworked himself. 

You let out a small sigh, placing the bag on the small coffee table in the room (you didn’t want to set it on the desk with all the equipment) and grabbed his jacket that he had tossed onto the nearby sofa before draping it over his shoulders. You couldn’t really do much more for him without lifting the male up and transferring him to the couch, and you were pretty sure he would wake up if you even attempted that. 

“Night Jihoon.” With that final goodbye you exited the room and returned back to your dorm to get some homework done for a few of your other classes.

It was about 2:30 the next morning when your phone vibrated, indicating a message. Sparing a glance to the device you read the familiar name ‘Lee Jihoon’ as the sender. The message was no more than a simple “Thank you.” but that was good enough for you.

***

As you expected, even being the harmony vocals for the song Jihoon’s talent far outshined your main vocals. You weren’t upset or anything, but you were definitely starting to regret letting him talk you into the main vocal position for this project. You didn’t even really have any commentary to or feedback to give him. His voice fit the song perfectly and you could feel the emotion in his words as he sang. 

When he exited the booth and took a seat on the sofa to take a break you spoke up.

“Are you sure you shouldn’t be the one leading the song?” You questioned, head tilted to the side a bit as you watched him gulp down a bottle of water. Your words took him off guard and he fixed you with a rather confused look, so you continued. “I mean, you have such a great voice and I really think you capture the emotion in the song better than I do. So like…”

“What are you talking about?” He cut off your ramblings before you could continue, his eyes staring intently into your own. “You have an amazing voice, I’m literally blown away anytime you step into the booth. It’s part of the reason I was glad we got partnered for this project.”

It was almost as if your brain had short circuited, you didn’t know what to say. He had never spoken about your singing like that before, much less admit that he was...glad you were his partner. A part of you worried that he was lying just to spare your feelings, but the logical part knew that Jihoon wasn’t someone who would waste the energy to do that. 

“Let me put it this way,” he began again. “If I didn’t think you were doing a good job, if i thought your vocals would get us points docked off, then I wouldn’t have let you sing the Main. Got it?” His gaze seemed to pierce right to your very soul and you couldn’t find it in yourself to argue back and decided to just take his word for it. So you simply nodded a response.

It seemed that Jihoon wasn’t done surprising you tonight, as a smile so tender made its way onto his face. Your heart skipped a beat as you looked into his eyes, you could feel the heat rushing to your face and you prayed that he couldn’t hear the loud throbbing of your heart as he watched you. 

The moment was soon broken by the loud blaring of a familiar pop song, Jihoon’s face dropping at the sound. He quickly grabbed his phone off of the coffee table and put it up to his ear. You decided to be polite and at least try not to listen in, pulling out your own phone and messaging the group chat to see what was up.

“What do you want, Mingyu?” He began, definitely sounding more irritated than before he had taken the call. You couldn’t hear the voice on the other end but from the gumbling that left Jihoon’s lips you wouldn’t have been surprised if his roommate was pushing his buttons for whatever reason.

“No. I’m not and you need to stop asking. I’m working right now.” He paused for a moment, his voice lowering to almost a whisper as if that would make you unable to hear him. “Yes, she’s here too, so stop asking. Mingy-” He groaned as the male on the other end seemed to cut him off, you weren’t too sure with what but now you could vaguely hear the loud voice of his roommate on the line and couldn’t help laughing softly. The sound causing Jihoon’s eyes to flicker over to you, causing your heart to skip a beat as you quickly tried to make it seem like you were just laughing at something on your phone. 

“Shut it. We’ll talk when I get home...yes i’m coming back tonight!” With an irritated sigh, Jihoon ended the call. You weren’t sure he gave Mingyu any time to give a farewell but if you were being honest the conversation had been pretty amusing. 

Setting his phone down on the couch, Jihoon let out a sigh and ran a hand through his thick black locks. A silence falling over the two of you as you typed away on your phone, trying not to make eye contact again. You were so engrossed with your act you didn’t even hear when Jihoon stood from the couch and made his way over to the chair you were currently occupying. 

“Before we call it, could you re-record from the bridge to the end. When I was editing it last night there was some feedback so I wanted to get a better recording.”

“Oh, um yeah sure!” You weren’t sure why he hadn’t mentioned that before, and you didn’t recall hearing any feedback from your vocals when he was recording. But still, you took him at his word and entered the small recording booth once again. 

“I’ll start from just before the bridge.” He said over the speakers once your headphones were pulled snuggly over your ears. You cleared your throat and took a deep breath before nodding and signaling him to start.

“I really like you a lot But do you think we can’t be together? I feel small in my school uniform skirt Looking big on me, Yeah The tall, pretty girls are all around you.  Oh whoa~”

Getting through the bridge you poured your emotions into it. Thinking about your feelings for Jihoon and the longing for him to feel the same for you. Honestly, through this whole process the song the two of you had written was so...cathartic for you. Expressing things you never verbalized, how despite your attempts Jihoon never really spoke to you outside of class but he always seemed so kind when you were working. Or how, because of his looks and his talent he seemed to be surrounded by girls who thought he was wonderful. 

“If you like me, or you love me Just say yes, yes, yes And then I’m your girlfriend And your my boyfriend Tell me you like me.”

The last few chords streamed through your headphones and a silence fell over the room. Just as you were about to take the headphones off you heard a voice come through, the familiar voice of your partner and crush.

“I like you...a lot.” 

You froze like a deer in headlights, almost positive that you had misheard him. Eyes quickly landing on him, watching him through the glass. You couldn’t tell what he was thinking, but through the tint you could see the soft pink dusting his cheeks and the tips of his ears as his eyes stared down at the desk.

“Don’t say anything. I just...wanted to let you know. The reason I didn’t want to sing the main vocals is because I was worried you would be able to tell.” He continued, eyes still not lifting from the table to meet your gaze. “All of the lyrics I added were about you. I just...changed the pronouns.” 

It was unbelievable to think that Lee Jihoon could possibly love you back. He was too...wonderful, and the fact that the both of you had used this song to express those feelings was almost unreal. 

Thinking back on it, on all the interactions you had attempted to have with him outside of class. You realized that he wasn’t ignoring you, his eyes had always met your own but he was just uncertain.  He had lacked the confidence to speak to you despite your obvious interest in him. It made your pinning seem silly now. 

You still honored his wishes and said nothing, simply taking the headphones off and draping them onto the music stand before exiting the booth. Stopping right next to the object of your affections.

“Jihoon, look at me? Please?” Hesitantly, his gaze turned to you and he looked flustered, more flustered than you had ever seen him. “I like you too, a whole lot.” 

Your words had his eyes lighting up, a look of disbelief crossing his face as you continued.

“Could I...would it be alright if I kiss you?” Before today, you had only ever imagined kissing Jihoon. What it would be like had been nothing more than a small fantasy that you thought about, but seeing him nod looking away still flustered, it almost seemed to good to be anything more than a dream. 

Hesitantly, you reached out a hand to caress his cheek, your heart speeding up as he lifted a hand to press over your own. When your lips met, it was like the stars had aligned. 

It wasn’t a perfect kiss, it was shy and soft but the emotion you felt simply from his lips pressing back against your own was enough to cause your heart to soar. It was like two puzzle pieces finding one another how well his lips felt against your own. You decided in that moment that he would get to hear everyday how much you absolutely loved him, he would never need to ask or hesitate again. Cause that’s what kind of love you wanted to give him, and all you needed to do was say it.