#this show has changed my life completely
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Tim unconsciously sending/showing signals of his feelings for Lucy
#chenford#chenfordedit#the rookie#therookieedit#tim x lucy#tim and lucy#lucy x tim#jesuis-assez edits: chenford#Or rather Tim's body responding to what his mind has not yet caught up with and his actions showing/ revealing#his feelings in full display. Or rather Tim's mind suppressing what he doesn't want to acknowledge#Tim closing the door to the possibility of having developed feelings for Lucy while she was his rookie or rather ..#Tim not thinking of Lucy in that light as she was his rookie but feeling so much for her and not understanding what he was feeling.#Because this is uncharted territory for him. This feels different. What he feels for her and what she has given him.#Or rather Tim needing to be in control and how he couldn't control his heart letting Lucy in.#Or rather allowing Lucy to take space in his heart gradually until she covers it completely with her love and kindness#and not realising just how deeply he had fallen for her. How she came to be this important person in his orbit#How she came in his life and changed it for the better. How she was his rookie and his friend and how this one person could mean so much#and how he can't bare to lose her.#How little control he had over how he feels for her and how he came to accept and embrace that#how the entire foundation they built was worth risking and exploring to him#because how could something so beautiful not be?#*takes a breath * ok. I wish I could convey all of this more eloquently but my brain is just not having it.
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Is it me or does it feel like the show is making everyone in Blitzo's life (minus Fizz and Oz. for now at least) hate him/think little of him all because the show seems to have a hate boner and likes to victim blame him? It even feels as if it's written as every one in IMP even hates him now and it's kinda gross honestly considering that for all the reasons for people to be upset at Blitzo for, and for good reasons: him 'wornging' Stolas is not one of them.
Also it feels like the show just wants to beat down Blitzo until he reaches his breaking point and then breaks him down more and more and I'm sorry if the show is about wanting Blitzo grow as a person that's not how you get there.
People get better and change when they're being lifted up not beaten down. Not saying you shouldn't call out Blitzo's behavior, you should he's an asshole at times but he's already a self destructive mess and knows it. And even for all that dickwardry, he does CARE and the show SHOWS us that supposed to TELLING us like they're doing with Stolas when we've seen him do nothing but guilt trip, manipulate and treat those lower than him like shit. He even negligent his own daughter.
Blitzo cares. He cares about his employees, his friends, his family and in a sad way, even for Stolas though not in a romantic way more than he's trying to keep him 'happy' so he doesn't lose his business and livelihood. If he didn't care he wouldn't have gone through all the work in 'spicing up' their sex lives.
So why is the show making it seem like Blitzo is in the wrong for sharing how he feels yet has every right to feel as frustrated and used as he does. But no, he's a monster because he made the creator pet cry.
Srsly fuck you Viviziepop.
(on a less ranty note: I have to give credit where credit is due that Brandon Rogers can act! No matter how bad the emotional moments are written at times (which is most), he still sells it.)
#helluva boss critical#here goes sweets off her bullshit again#this isn't me going Blitzo is completely innocent he's not but he shows more compassion and empathy than Stolas ever did#and i do think Blitzo as a character can change for the better if he has a positive influence in his life#we see how he is around Fizz#picture the rest of IMP becoming that found family like they were becoming in season one#as someone who's been at my lowest point#having people who care about you and want to see you sucessed does help a lot#grated most of the change has to come from you but having people that give you a reason to change is just as important
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I got these shoes from someone recently but thought they were way too plain looking, so I set out on a quest to customize them with some sharpies and charms and miscellaneous ribbon I had in my craft drawers. Mostly sky themed (clouds, rainbows, rain, stars, etc.) because that's my favorite aesthetic, but I had to include some cat imagery as well, of course lol.
#also honestly had NO IDEA that real converse have that star logo on the INSIDE not the outer part??? why the hell would you want it on the#inner portion where nobody can see it?? my entire life I always would have sworn it was on the outer facing portion..#I think these would be perfect IF they were just slightly taller (top part higher above ankles instead of just weird hard material digging#right into your ankle whenever you walk) and if they were actual good platforms. they're so short. It's good that 'chunky' shoes are gettin#more popular as they've always been my favorite Look ever since I had these shoes with roller skates that pop out of thebottom (not heelys.#but like. before those. it was two whole entire roller skate wheels like a normal pair of roller skates) and the bottoms were so tall and#clunky and it made my feet look giant (because it had.. entire wheels in the bottom pockets lol). so#I've alwatys been into the aesthetic but . still I find a lot of the 'brands jumping on trend' are too short of platforms#OR they're plafrorms with a raised back/heel/wedge which to me is not aesthetically good and also makes them exceptionally uncomfortable to#wear compared to just plain completely flat chunky platform bottoms. ANYWAY.. if these shoes had a 3 or 4 inch platform I think they'd be#cooler. however for what they are it's still fine! and I like them more now that they actually have some sort of anything to them and#aren't just plain white. The weird thing is that the material it's made out of (maybe some sort of leather or something) absorbs sharpie?#the color changes over time. You draw a mark and then leave it for a few days and it either fades into being barely there or has changed#colors. so I had to go back in and redo parts. ALSO the shoe chains are so funny because I did NOT have the right tools for them#I don't have the stuff to make bracelets or open and close the little rings. they're held onto the shoe with just safety pins and the actua#little rung things that hold the charms on half of them are like broken or the metal is just jam smushed together bent and warped hhbjhjhb#I actually like the back a lot where there's the irridecent star thing hot glued on there. it's cool and shiny. and the clouds#are sparkly on the main parts of the shoe though I'm not sure how well it shows up in pictures#ANYWAY... shoegs..... If I were rich this is one of the things I would definitely custom order from craftsman#why would I spend like thousands of dollars on plain ass shoes that are just expensive because they're a Luxury Brand when I could literall#like pay people to create me custom shoes to my exact specifications?? I could have like 5 inch flat platform boots with fur andclouds#and cat shaped holes in the bottom with LEDs in them with pom pom and charms and etc. etc. etc. Like as gaudy and excessively over#decorated as I want lol.. AND they could have skates in the bottom somehow!! ghjgbhjb#this on top of all the custom wizard costumes and period clothing I would order.. Like i LOVE customizing things. I love everything in my l#life being as particualr as possible and cultivating every experience I have to meticulously meet my own specific criteria as much#as is possible. If I had the money to I would never buy something from a store again. EVERYTHING I owned from furniture to clothing#would be either made by me - or mostly - comissioned from craftsmen. custom tiles for my floors. custom bed. custom table.#even like. custom toilet. custom sinks. etc. etc. ouGGH... but yeah.. anyway... shoes..
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idk man i just feel like if i knew that the guy i’m working with was actually a slave under the threat of death i just wouldn’t berate and degrade him all the time
#can you tell i can’t stand veritas ratio#it has really been bothering me that people have been mischaracterizing him because they are desperate to make him a nice person#like. listen#this guy is not a misunderstood good guy#he is a complete asshole with a generally good goal#Doing something kind after showing no compassion for like 3 updates does not change his entire character#I am VERY glad he said what he said to Aventurine in the end#he needed to hear it!!#but that simply does not negate the rest of Ratio’s behavior and i’m very tired of seeing people pretend it does#also just to clarify i think he is an INCREDIBLE character and i’m glad he exists. i just don’t think he’s a very compassionate person#anyway back to my normal tags#love of my life aventurine#love of my life kakavasha#aventurine hsr#hsr#hsr 2.1#penacony#honkai star rail#dr ratio slander#veritas ratio slander
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Hate having adhd went to go work on my fallout modpack, got distracted while going to disable the steam overlay, ended up in the points shop, went to go edit my profile, decided to change my pfp, found a buried folder I forgot existed, found some old Veneer art I forgot existed, spent 45 minutes looking at all the old photos, STILL HAVE NOT TOGGLED ONE SIMPLE OPTION THAT SHOULD'VE TAKEN 30 SECONDS AT MOST
#I'm shocked I have these drawings scanned on my pc I don't remember doing that I must've done it before I left in case my mom threw all my#Art out again#Anyway at age 12 I was writing a better '3 merpeople go on land to find a 4th one that has been disguised as a human all his life' story#Than Ma/ko Merm/aids EVER did so uh. Take that Jonathan#God it sucks so bad that kid me would've LOVED MM if it just DIDN'T HAVE THE STUPID GENDER WAR BULLSHIT#Literally the entire first and second season is just. So fucking stupid. I wrote a God damn essay about how they fumbled Erik's story SO BAD#I don't even LIKE Erik BUT THEY DID HIM SO DIRTY#THE CHARACTER POTENTIAL AND WRITING COULD'VE BEEN BETTER THAN ZANE B. S1 OF H2O BUT THEY THREW IT AWAY AND FOR WHAT!!!!!!!#Seriously you're telling me a kid who was abandoned his entire life for being male didn't have a bigger impact on the pod than FUCKING ZAK?#That plot twist of 'oh actually Zak was a merman all along' was 100% so they could guilt free write Erik out#Instead of like. Having him face his actions or redeem himself in like. Any way. He just fucks off. THEN the pod is like lol Zac were sorry#We're sorry for literally not doing anything to you because you were privledged enough to have a mother who was super ultra powerful#So you were never really affected by our actions until JUST now. Unlike that other fuckface Erik who suffered his whole life alone#Also then in s3 there are STILL no mermen in the pod. Not even little mermen babies. No kids and teens they've welcomed back n apologized to#NOTHING#God. Mm pisses me off dude#AND I STILL HAVENT TOGGLED THAT FUCKING OPTIONS AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH#Cruddy rambles#God I'm not done I'm sorry fallout can wait YOU ARE TELLING ME THE GUY WHO TELLS US HOW SHITTY MERMAN BABIES R TREATED BY THE POD. IS NOT#THE SAME ONE THE POD APOLOGIZES TO IN THE SEASON FINALE BECAUSE THEY WROTE IN A SHITTY PLOT TWIST?#AUUUUUUUHHHHGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG#It's so bad. It's so fucking bad. It's so needlessly gendered and for what. They could've just had 2 rival warring pods#What pisses me off the most is that s3 (4) completely pivots and never really follows thru with the s1 and 2 story arcs#The writers just kinda wash thsir hands of that because 'hey the pod said sorry to zac' BUT THEN NOTHING ACTUALLY CHANGES!!!!#Maybe instead of having a constantly rotating cast of characters s3 (4) could've instead focused on Ondina and Erik's relationship a bit#Maybe have Ondina tell him she wants to just stay friends because she can't trust him. Have him IDK grow and change as a character?#Maybe so you can show kids nobody is born evil and we all need support systems and healthy relationships to grow and become better people??#THAT would've been a GOOD FOLLOW THROUGH#But no instead u just write him out of the show and never show any OTHER mermen who were exiled being welcomed back#Like u had Ondina becoming a teacher... Why not have Zac become a teacher for all the new mermen who were just recently welcomed back??
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🧸♡ ⋆｡˚
#it actually does make such a huge difference omg im like ... feels like i got thrown into the floor lost my breath#having someone i like so much to talk to abt things#and share stuff and details abt not only my days but their days too#and talking abt like books that we read or shows/movies we saw and etc etc#sending pics. sending voice messages. all of that#that was so amazing wth???#it sounds like such a mundane thing but it changed my enire baseline. it wasnt a littel thing to me#i didnt share as much as i wanted to because it takes me longer to settle into smth like this#or any kind of connection/correspondence/bond/rapport#im slow bc im so scared of ppl. scared of trusting. scared of opening up. rejection rejection all of that#yeah.. takes me a lot longer than the average person to settle into smth like this#avpd is its own special hell...#i miss it a lot and i wish there hadnt been all the other circumstances so i could've actually relaxed into it#and come out of my shell completely. which i was almost there. now that mental block is gone but it's too late....#i take too long... it is impossible to be patient with me. i really hate everything abt my brain#my desire overtook my fear and it was quicker than it ever has but not enough.. :(#i miss it sm and it made me feel so so much lust for life..#but it's gone now and i can really feel the loss of it#i wouldve done anything i could to save it. or nurture it. or whatever. but it was a sacred treasure to /me/.#it doesnt matter if i try to put out the flames in a burning house if the house is gone and there are actually only the flames left#and since to me it is so special. and like. the fact that this even happened is crazy to me stuff like this feelings and connection never#happen to me. it's like.. special to talk to someone u like & have an established rapport with on a regular basis#and tell them stuff and rant abt like a book or whatever. ask them details abt their life bc u know them and enjoy knowing them#i cant just transfer all of this to someone else. i dont feel like yapping abt the book im reading into the void or someone i barely know#i just dont know... i need that sm and it was so amazing w someone i like sm. & it makes me sad i takes me too long to get fully comfortable#bc of this time were it was the most intense and long lasting for me but also im in love lmao. but other times too...#i take too long and why would someone wanna wait like actually a year (which is how long it often takes me to pass a certain barrier)#im not special. im nothing that great. it is easy to find someone else who is x1000 better than me and wont take an eternity to warm up#i just feel so sad bc i try so hard and then all of my effort just goes down the drain and then i have to do it again if i meet someone#then they'll leave me behind too and get tired of me and not like what they see and then im back at square 1 again
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find yourself an AnWL bachelor who barks but only in conditions that contradict each other which means his barking dialogue will never actually show up in th
#this is my girlfriend. yes he barks at people#it finally clicked looking at the inn residents’ dialogue about rock that they view him more like a family pet than a family member#obsessed with how much dialogue is written for scenarios that Can Not Happen#example: everyone has personalized dialogue telling you how a dish/herb/fish/dairy product was even gifts they don’t accept#with this specific dialogue#the conditions are that you show him your dog and you’re not married to him#but his pathing will literally never take him within the bounds of your farm unless you’re married to him#and you can’t take your dog outside your farm#if his schedule changes later with the other dudes lmk but i’ve never seen this happen#marvelous pwease release my very well behaved dogboy. he will NOT cause havoc#hm anwl#harvest moon another wonderful life#my art#?#it’s a quickie scribble so not really#where’s his leash? oh don’t worry he’s very friendly (he is a complete menace)
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Survivor.
kind of a 'then vs now' comparison (idolhood vs living through everything post-idolhood) but in the same outfit.
the urge to quote "despite everything, it's still you" is very strong right now.
#milgram oc#ocgram#koike yumemi#this is where the creative energy is at today okay besties we're unpacking self-image and self-esteem and the trauma and the baggage and th#it's funny bc by drawing yumemi in a more vulnerable state I am now feeling like an overprotective parent letting my kid out into the world#I cannot tell you how much I love yumemi in all shapes + forms ;w; there's so many idol career designs I haven't even gotten to showing yet#the time difference between these two is the closest though - I'd put it at around... 8-10 months before the present day?? yeah.#is it normal to want to hug your own OC? I'm feeling that right now oough TwT#I can't really explain it but I'm really happy with this piece 💜 I think the vibes are just right yknow#my art#Edit: can't believe I completely blanked about what I wanted to mention asdfghjkl- I want to emphasise yumemi's definition of a 'normal'--#--body is highly distorted. when u spend ur whole life in idol training regimes you forget how fucked up the whole process is.#so for her the changes to her body feel way more dramatic than they actually are... like. she just has a regular body now. but it's not--#-- *her* normal if that makes sense?? anyway. completely forgot to mention this when that was the 1st thing I wanted to say oof
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it still hurts. a lot actually.
#happy ten year anniversary to the finale that ruined me but mostly to the end of a show that has changed my life completely#i wouldn’t be who i am without bbc merlin#without arthur and the knights#without merlin#i found myself in them but i also found a community who love them just as much#so thank you bbc merlin and thank you bbc merlin fandom#you’ve made me cry made me giggle and made me tear my hair out and i wouldn’t have it any other way <3#here’s to ten more years or until arthur hauls his ass out of that lake#queue me?
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I've seen some people say that MK being a Monkey King fanboy has been retconned/erased, do you agree? It's become a common criticism of S4 recently.
Well, MK is a Monkey King fanboy, he's just also been told the sanitized Tang/comic book versions of the stories his whole life. Case in point A Hero is Born:
Tang: "Oh MK, and you thought you knew all of the Monkey King's stories!" MK: "Oh but I do!" *proceeds to list things only from chapter one*
If MK knew the entirety of jttw, I doubt he would have put Wukong on the pedestal he did. He also would have known what the Samadhi Fire was, who Lady Bone Demon was, who Spider Queen was in 1x04, who Macaque was in 1x09...like Macaque says in 4x11, MK's knowledge of jttw is very selective. He hasn't read the book, but he has read other versions of it:
Really rather than a criticism of just s4, this should be a criticism of the show as a whole, but it's not something I agree with! MK may go "omg I know everything about Monkey King!", but he definitely doesn't. It also just wouldn't work from a story/writing perspective to have MK know everything about Wukong and jttw. Lmk is written to tell the same story to a new audience ("familiar tales, new adventures"), which means that MK has to learn information about jttw/Wukong's past with that audience.
#can't really retcon MK's complete ''fanboy'' knowledge of Monkey King when he never had it adfafsdadsf#Like MK's ''autobiography'' of Monkey King's life has him on the cover. So you know. Clearly a very unbiased source of knowledge.#If MK knew all of Wukong's life that would like. Ruin the show (in my opinion)#Half of the fun is watching MK slowly learn new things about his mentor that he wish he didn't#I've mentioned it somewhere but our perception of Wukong changes with our perception of what a hero is.#Both figures slowly become more flawed as the show progresses#It's the spice. The intrigue#asks#lmk#lego monkie kid#monkie kid
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no promises anymoooooreeeee i'll appear online when i appear online 😭 every time i say "ooh i think life is almost done being overwhelming!" it. becomes even more overwhelming in the dumbest ways. all i can manage rn when i'm not stressing myself into a shut-down state is staring at the wall while listening to youtube essays + mindlessly crocheting.
i might queue up ppls art and fics w/o commentary in the tags... i want other ppl to see what all of my cool friends have made, but i genuinely can't think right now with this monstrous brain fog. i'm really sorry, just. yeah. maybe i'll think of some way to make it up later!!! once the dust has settled!!!! but until then i wuv u and miss u. smiles.
[venting in tags including familial manipulation and ableism. i. didn't mean to write all of that, thiss was originally going to be a main blog post but. aaaaaAAAAAA!!!!!
also no need for replies or anything, i'd turn them off for just the one post if i could kjsndkn, i just needed to get things out and go eep jsjndsfdn ok bye bye bye bye!!!!]
#goddd my family finds it sooooooo funny that i can't do basic tasks! it's soooo funny that i can't even think of a horror movie to watch#on halloween bc i genuinely can't remember a single one right now. it's soooo funny that i can't take cardboard boxes or#old furniture out of my room without help bc i've physically and mentally and emotionally burnt out for Months.#and me not being able to move shit out after two (2) days makes me a hoarder somehow. and ofc hoarding is a moral failing#and my mom has to give me a stern talking-to about hoarding things... that were. again. in my room for 2 days....#[tbc it isnt a moral failing no matter the reason. life is hard and things happen and it can be hard to get rid of things for Reasons.]#nevermind them making constant snide remarks about me using ugly 'mismatched' desk / storage furniture. bc it was free / cheap? no income??#AND!!!!! i have a couple of new diagnoses. which doesn't change much day to day but it does make my family making fun of me#even more dumbfounding. like. this explains a lot of really scary unexplained symptoms that constantly leave me#housebound for weeks but uhhh haha hehe hoho??? so silly so funny that i'm barely conscious for multiple weeks???#and you can see that i'm getting worse but that makes it funnier??? hmm!!!#also nevermind that i've told them the exact reason why i've been like this (read: them) but that ALSO makes it funnier somehow.#but i also can't say shit bc they're doing something ~nice~ for me (out of convenience + after almost a decade of 'don't get comfortable'#and 'don't decorate this room bc it isn't yours' and 'you need to be ready to move out by x date'#only for the date to arrive and them to pull the 'i never said that. and if i did say it i didn't mean it like that.#and if i did mean it like that i don't anymore.' card. + any big renovations are things they wanted anyway. hmmmm!!#and how i have to do all of the phys labor alone bc if i ask for help i get made fun of!!! and yelled at that i'm doing things Wrong#(hint: i'm following instructions to the letter but. my family knows better than those silly things!! ^^ ))#jfc i sure did rant. uh. yeah. things. are really weird and uncomfy and i feel thankful that i finally can have my own things on display#outside of closets and bins again after a decade?? but i'm also waiting for the other shoe to drop / them to tell me i owe them in#some way??? bc that's how it works. 'i'm doing a nice thing you didn't even ask me for so now you have to do whatever i tell you to.'#meanwhile i can't even maladaptive daydream my way through it bc my brain is soup right now. can't remember basic things abt#my interests bc i've been on negative battery / spoons for a couple of months straight and it's only getting worse.#OKAY TLDR i'm not in a state to do anything until everything irl gets settled. and i'm trying So Hard to get it all over with but there's#only so much i can do in a day before i completely shut down. i didn't even get into the insurance stuff i've been fighting too ughhhh.#so if i show up on here in short spurts -- hi! bye! hi!! i wuv and care u!!! hope youre well mwah mwah!!!!!!! i'll post what i can and then#disappear when i need to recharge. it is what it is. i need to try to sleep now... uh if this post disappears when i wake up.... yeah......#📌 [ my posts. ]#💭 [ my thoughts. ]#vent -
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love that my mum just gave me a lecture (more like an unnecessary reason to argue with me though tbh) about internet safety as if I'm doing something really terrible and I'm a vulnerable, naïve child when I'm literally almost 20 years old :)
#there's looooots more to this but long story short she thinks she can still control me hahahaha yay#I should also add the context that she didn't stop going through my phone until I was 17 and that's because I changed the password#she probably means well but has a fucking awful way of showing it#instead she's been incredibly over-protective my entire life to the point where it's actually suffocating and damaging#and apparently that still hasn't changed much despite me being an adult#I understand to a certain extent because she's a single mother to an only child but there comes a point she has to realise#I'm not a little kid anymore and I respectfully need her to back off a bit more#because honestly I feel like she crossed a line here and it's not okay#and the other thing is that she thinks she can tell her boyfriend everything I tell her without my permission#simply because he's her boyfriend#I've told her multiple times it makes me uncomfortable buuuut she doesn't listen to me :)#she actually outed me to him a few years ago and that REALLY hurt because I told her how dangerous it can be to out people#and she just completely dismissed everything I said because “he's not homophobic”#cool. great. doesn't mean I didn't want the opportunity to tell him myself when I'M ready :) cos I barely knew the guy#well........ anyways :)#just needed to get this off my chest 😭#personal
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i would like to be back at a mountain goats concert & i would like it right now if possible
#every time i’m like. well surely i have seen so many mountain goats concerts one of them has to be kind of meh one of these days#and EVERY TIME the god of mountain goats concerts looks down at me and says oh no i think you need your entire life changed again actually#yeah for the eighth time in 1 point 5 years. yeah#i Completely understand all the people who follow them around. like i don’t understand why anyone would want to be anywhere else honestly#i will get some audios from the show up this weekend! i think#my phone was like. literally 3 inches from the speaker for the second show so we’ll see how that turns out#also i would like to figure out how to clean up the tapes and make them sound better but where do you even learn that
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i did it guys
#remember when i said catch me with a why am i like this tattoo someday?#this series (both show and comic) has completely changed my life#it had to be done#and i’m so glad i did#heartstopper
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ITS THE WAY HANA KEPT HER FUCKED UP ASS BANGS AS A REMEBER OF WHEN SHE WAS A PRECURE AND PROBABLY THE BEST TIME OF HER LIFE AND WAS ABLE TO FULLY EMBRACE THE FUTURE AND SOME OF HER DEAREST friends ahhh😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭
#Hugtto precure is my Roman Empire#I have never have A character I ever got so emotional for..untill Hana#hugtto is my fav show ever and the grip is has one me AGH#when I go through other series I always think that my fav of the series have A high chance of getting replaced#But the second I completed Hugtto back in January it not only became my fav anime but my fav show ever#I have literally cried so many times just thinking about it or listening to the ost#this is just A hugtto appreciation post lol#thank you for existing Hugtto changed my life
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gold and blue sketches
#artists on tumblr#my art#my ocs#lidkaer#being able to draw/show off amaya's siren form is great. love drawing wings with patterns!!#she has complete control on her hair/feather/eye's colors but cant change the pattern of her wings or what type of bird she is#sirens are born the same bird wings as one of their parents then molt during puberty and it changes to another kind of bird. big events#like trauma or transition or any big life changing stuff can have them molt and change what bird they are again. though its pretty rare#jay is an european starling and imri is some kind of owl (his wings have mostly gone white like his hair so theres no clear pattern to tell#what kind of owl he is exactly).
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