#this season is really making me feel like a million emotions at once | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

pynkgothicka · 9 months ago

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Hey!

I love ur blog and ur writing they

Soo good can I request a yandere husband taehyung x reader where it's the typical wife worship husband kind lf thing also can u pls make him really dark too with a non-con

Sorry if it's too much

Love ya

ＭｉｌｌｉｏｎＤｏｌｌａｒＭａｎＫＴＨ

Pairing - Dark! Husband! Kim Taehyung x AFAB! Reader

Featuring - None!

Word Count - Around 1.8k

Tags and Warnings - Domestic Violence, Non-Con, Breeding Kink, Mentions of blood, forest sex scene, Dead Dove Do Not Eat, Allusions to kidnapping

Authors Note - Late Valetines Day story! This is my last req!! Sooo some more personal inspiered stuff coming soon! Also please let me know if you guys like the longer more descriptive fics.

A friendly reminder that all my works are dark fanfiction! Please if you do not like that do not read them! These depictions don't pertain to reality. This is your final warning before hitting the keep reading button!!

He was your world, your everything.

Or at least that’s what he told you.

Soon, you found yourself having to repeat these thoughts, constantly reminding yourself of them, almost blinding yourself to the harsh reality of just how miserable you had become.

You cut potatoes, sprinkling herbal seasoning on top. You put them in a pan and cover them with virgin olive oil. Placing the pan in the oven, you set a timer.

The beep reminded you of the constant threats and warnings he provided. He required dinner to be prepared by the time he returned home from work every day. Especially today, Valentine's Day. The day you are supposed to be the most appreciative of what Kim Taehyung has given you.

During your cleanup, you suddenly felt a pair of hands encircle your waist, and a broad nose press against your neck. You instinctively leaned into the touch, fully aware of who it was. "Hello, my love," he murmured, his warm breath gently caressing your neck.

"Hello, how was your day at work?" You inquire, speaking softly with a touch of sweetness. He grunted, wrapping his arms around your waist tighter. "Did you have a tough day?”

Taehyung uttered dismissively, "They were just bothering me, honestly. All I wanted was to be back home with you." He says, planting a kiss on your neck once more. You could feel his cock harden against the curve of your back. You shivered noticeably. His black hair brushed against your neck. "Are you cold baby?”

You glance downwards and shake your head. "No... Your hair just tickled me a little bit.”

Taehyung nodded to himself as he responded, "I brought you some beautiful roses and your favorite chocolates." He lamented slightly, his hips pressing against your back. You stayed quiet. "What do you say?”

“Thank you… I-I’m making dinner… I’m sorry I couldn't get you anything more.” You apologized. But you both knew the reason why.

You had no access to your funds.

No access to a vehicle to leave.

No knowledge of where you lived.

Not even the luxury of owning a phone or the login to any of the house's computers.

Yet Taehyung cooed. “It's okay, I know you love me. I don't need all that stuff.”

Shit. Not even light gaslighting could make him feel sorry and give you more privileges. You nod in agreement as he speaks. “I’m going to get cleaned up for dinner. Don’t wait on cleaning, you know I hate having a dirty kitchen.” Taehyung walks away, gesturing towards the mess on the kitchen counter.

“It’ll get cleaned. I promise.”

💲

After dinner, you prepared to go to bed. You'd expected Taehyung to be asleep by now, but he was up. Book in hand he lay in bed, his nightwear glasses making him look as sophisticated as ever. You gulped, walking towards the bed and crawling in. Crawling into bed next to him, you asked, “Aren't you sleepy yet?”

“No, I can't calm my mind," he stated abruptly. You could tell he was upset at something. It was something you had to pick up on, being with him. He was too emotional, his mood swings frightening you at times. “Where is my laptop?”

Of course that's what it was.

Desperation drove you to try and access Taehyung's laptop. He had left it unattended and you saw it as a chance to try and discover your location. The day you married Taehyung, he had swept you off your feet and whisked you away to an unknown place, leaving you with no knowledge of where you were or how to escape.

The house was nestled in a dense forest, surrounded by trees as far as the eye could see. Sometimes, you would gaze out the window, searching for signs of life in the distance. But all you ever saw was the endless expanse of darkness, an eerie stillness that only made you fear Taehyung more.

The computer taunts you with every failed login attempt, each one feeling like a slap in the face. Frustration and desperation build as you frantically try every password you can think of until finally, with a loud beep, the screen displays "Access Denied." Fury bubbles up inside of you as you realize you've been locked out. Trembling with anger, you snatch the computer and hide it away, unable to face another rejection from this merciless machine.

The silence between you two is deafening.

He flips a page in the book he was reading, seemingly calm but you know better. You can feel his eyes boring into you

"Why are you so quiet?" he questioned, flipping a page in his book. "I know you did something - you turned off the cameras. I received a notification on my phone.”

Quietly, you mustered up the courage to reply. “I-I wanted to…”

"What did you want? To abandon me? On Valentine's Day? After everything I've done for you? After everything I've sacrificed for you?" Taehyung bombarded you with questions, and you couldn't make sense of them. He slammed his book shut and got right in your face. His hands aggressively pulled at the bottom of your nightgown, as if trying to search you for something. You let out a gasp and fought back by kicking at him.

Then you got him. Your foot connecting with his face.

Taehyung jerked back, sitting up abruptly. A metallic taste floods his mouth as he runs his tongue over his now split and bleeding upper lip. “Won't you look at that…”

“T-Tae… I-I’m sorry. Please, I didn't mean it. I-I can pa-” But before you could finish, his hand wrapped around your throat, cutting off your words and squeezing tightly. The impact of your head hitting the wooden headboard sends a jolt of pain through your skull, but it's nothing compared to the fear that grips you as one of his hands grips your throat, his face twisted in a violent rage. Taehyung's grip tightened as he knelt over you, both hands now grasping at your neck.

“What was that for huh? I thought I broke you in… but obviously I didn't do a good enough job huh?” With each point he wanted to get across, he lifted your head and slammed it into the bed. You tried to fight him off, desperately scratching at his arm with your anxiously bitten nails. With each brutal blow, your vision became spotty and distorted until you spotted the vase of roses nearby. The ones he had just brought for you. Without hesitation, you grabbed it and brought it down upon his skull, shattering the delicate glass and sending shards and water flying.

You had only a few seconds to get away.

Your feet thudded against the soft carpet as you sprinted out of the bedroom. Gasping for air, you knew there was no time to stop and catch your breath. Every second counted as you tried to make up for what had been lost.

Racing to the living room, you shoved your feet into house slippers and tore out of the door, darting into the dense woods that surrounded the home. Branches whipped and sliced at you, as you climbed over fallen debris. The idea of stopping flashed through your mind, but you knew you had to follow through.

Trying to see through the minimal amount of light was nearly impossible. The darkness consumed the woods, with only the moon's glow and the trees creating harsh shapes on the forest floor. "Baby! Where did you go? I'm sorry!”

His voice. It was too close, sending a chill down your spine. You quickly ducked behind a towering tree, heart pounding in your chest as you tried to steady your ragged breaths. One hand clamped over your mouth to stifle any noise, the other clenched into a tight fist. "Fuck," Taehyung's voice taunts, followed by the sound of his footsteps approaching. "You got me good, but don't worry. But I can be better okay? We can drop this entire thing and go back to bed…” Taehyung's voice was next to you.

But you aren't falling for that. He wanted you to feel bad. Taehyung's predatory steps echo behind you, coming closer and closer until a vice-like grip seizes your hair, yanking you down to the ground. “I thought we talked about this? This running away shit,” he spat.

"Tae, please, let's just go home... I'm sorry! I promise I won't run again, just please-" Your pleas fall on deaf ears as Taehyung circles around you, his imposing figure casting a looming shadow, pinning you to the dirt and making you feel utterly helpless, the dirt making you feel grimy. You could hear him pull down his pajama pants and you began to cry out. As you struggle to break free, Taehyung's grip tightens and he slams your shoulder back into the ground with a sickening thud. Tears stream down your face as you realize there is no escape from this nightmare.

His hand went to his mouth as he sucked on his middle and index finger. With his other hand, he roughly yanked up your gown until it tore at the seams. You screamed and cried, squeezing your eyes shut in desperate prayer, hoping against hope that this was all just a twisted nightmare inflicted by cruel and malevolent gods.

A shrill cry escapes your lips as your husband rips off your panties and plunges his fingers inside you. They skillfully find your sweet spot, causing you to moan in pleasure. “Already creaming around my fingers, fuck, that's so sexy,” he growls, a mix of desire and dominance in his voice. His head lowers to kiss you messily, leaving a trail of spit on your frightened face. His tongue invades your mouth, despite your attempts to protest.

With the sudden absence of his fingers came the sudden intrusion of his length.

The force of Taehyung's thrusts feels like a battering ram, relentlessly pummeling into you until your body is split in two. Your gasps turn into desperate cries of shock and agony as he continues to ravage you, his lips locked onto yours in a twisted display of affection.

It all left you gasping for air.

Your screams of agony were muffled by Taehyung's unrelenting kisses as he pounded into you mercilessly. You claw and beg for him to stop, tears mingling with the dirt beneath you as he continues to take what he wants from your menatlly broken body.

He persisted, driven by his ultimate goal to finish inside you. His desire was to take control of you, impregnate you with his child.

As you rolled your eyes back in pure ecstasy, Taehyung's cock became coated in slick, sticky cum. The sight only heightened his own arousal and soon he was filling you to the brim with his hot release. Taehyung had a dazed yet blissful look on his face as he gazed at you.

“Don’t turn off those cameras again.”

Let me know through a dm or ask to be included in my official Taglist- @darkuni63 @captainengineer-trixie @chimmisbae @iloverubberduckiez-blog @mageprincess7 @looneybleus @whipwhoops @mayvalentine33

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faelorelia · 8 months ago

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"Will's love towards Mike is a really beautiful thing." – Finn Wolfhard

And he is absolutely right. Throughout the whole series, the "Stranger Things" creators have made it clear to the audience how special Will and Mike's bond is and how much Mike truly means to Will. They have consistently highlighted the depth of Will's feelings towards Mike, and his love has saved the day quite a few times already. ❤️

Will's love for Mike is sincere, pure, quiet and completely unconditional. It's a love unspoken, yet expressed a million times through his actions. Will couldn't keep the truth from Mike in S1, even though it was just a small detail related to D&D. Despite being possessed, Will drew strength from Mike's presence and care, as if Mike was his beacon of light in the darkness. Mike's heartfelt monologue to Will about how asking him to be his friend was "the best thing he's ever done" reached Will's soul thanks to the love he felt, and that helped them all to stop the Mind Flayer in S2. In that same season, Mike was the one who Will was able to recognize after his possession because of how strong his feelings for the boy were.

We also saw the tender and emotional moments between Will and Mike in S3 and S4. Will's heartbreaking confession of "not going to fall in love" when he was (probably) already aware of his romantic feelings for his childhood best friend hits even harder when you think about it. Despite the times Mike unintentionally hurt Will, Will's love for him has remained too strong for him to simply forget and move on. There is just no way Will could ever get that boy out of his heart.

Because that's the thing – Mike is his heart, and Will hinted at it himself (albeit in a veiled form). Will's unconditional love for Mike is what led this sweet, sensitive and traumatized kid to set aside his own desires and pain just to ensure the happiness of the boy he loves. Even if Mike's happiness lies with his girlfriend (who also happens to be Will's new sister). Even if it means Mike is happy without him. But Will has long accepted this because he's inherently selfless and caring. He prioritizes the happiness of his loved ones over his own.

Will promised Mike he'd never be replaced and stayed fiercely loyal, as we saw in that unforgettable "Not possible" moment in S3 and later on in the show. Will was always there for Mike in S4 when he needed support and encouragement. He tried his best to patch things up between Mike and El, thinking it was what Mike wanted. Will even pushed Mike to open up to El, reminding him of his irreplaceable role in the party. Through it all, Will did everything he could to lift Mike's spirits, making sure he felt needed, valued and loved (even if it was indirectly through others).

And to prove, once again, how beautiful Will's love towards Mike is, I want to remind you of his monologue in the van scene where he was expressing his feelings for Mike by disguising them as Eleven's (slightly adapted to fit the purpose):

“Anyway, my point is, see how you're leading us here? You're guiding the whole party, inspiring us. That… That's what you do. And see your coat of arms here? It's a heart. And I know it's sort of on the nose, but that's what holds this party together. Heart. Because, I mean, without heart, we'd all fall apart. Even [me]. Especially [me]. These past few months, [I've] been so lost without you. It's just, [I'm] so different from other people, and… when you're… when you're different, sometimes… you feel like a mistake. But you make [me] feel like [I'm] not a mistake at all. Like [I'm] better for being different. And that gives [me] the courage to fight on. If [I] was mean to you or [I] seemed like [I] was pushing you away, it's because [I'm] scared of losing you, like you're scared of losing [El]. And if [I] was going to lose you, I… I think [I'd] rather just get it over with quick. Like ripping off a Band-Aid. So, yeah, [I] need you, Mike. And [I] always will.”

If Will's love for Mike isn't beautiful, then I don't know what is. Because "Stranger Things" shows us the true power of love and how it can change the world for the better. I find it truly inspiring. ❤️‍🩹

#byler #byler tumblr #byler nation #will byers x mike wheeler #will x mike #will and mike #will byers #mike wheeler #stranger things

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izzywantscheesecake · 10 months ago

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leo valdez x female reader!! dating headcanons *blows kiss*

Dating Leo Valdez Headcanons!

Pairing: Leo Valdez x Fem!Reader Fandom: Camp Half-Blood Chronicles/Heroes of Olympus Quick Synopsis: Just some paragraphs headcanons on how you and Leo would meet/what dating him would be like. Tags: Use of Y/N, Fluff, no specific physical description of the reader (other than the fact they're female coded), Comfort

HOW YOU TWO WOULD MEET I imagine Leo to be someone who looks for a person he's able to have a lot of common ground with in a relationship. Of course, he's able to crack jokes (even the not so funny ones) around practically everyone, but there's a difference between small banter and just full on being able to vibe with someone. I think he'd be very attracted to someone interested in the arts, or someone who likes to make their own things as a mean of self expression in general. We all know how Leo is in terms of self confidence - he'd like a person who is unapologetically them, proud of their art and self expression and someone who has enough emotional awareness to give him reassurance in a relationship when they can sense he needs it. You guys would probably first meet at some type of event or workshop, or if you're a camper, probably at the dining pavilion when he sees you and has to do a double take because "who is that cool girl I've never seen before?" he'd muster enough confidence to come up and tell you a corny joke, stumbling on his words, which makes you laugh.

"Hey, can I ask you something?"

You looked up from your feet, now practically face to face with this guy you'd never seen before. His clothes were wrecked with dirt and debris, so were his gloves.

He was standing awkwardly, and his hands, clearly shaking, were clenched into tight fists.

"Sure?"

"So um, riddle me this. Why can't you hear a pterodactyl going to the bathroom?"

"Because pterodactyls went extinct 65 million years ago?"

His eyes widened, and a red tint began to become more visible around his face as he scratched his head, messing up his already tangled locks of hair.

"Oh.. That wasn't what I was going to say," He chuckled.

You smiled, suddenly feeling a warm aura coming from this boy.

"Well, what were you going to say?"

"Because, uh.. The P is.. Damn, whatever. My name's Leo. What's yours?"

ACTUAL RELATIONSHIP HEADCANONS He was awkward at the start of the relationship, not really knowing what to say or what exactly "being a boyfriend" entails, but once he starts getting comfortable and more confident around you, that's where the fun begins (yes this is a star wars reference) Expect every Spanish nickname to be pulled out of the book. "Mi amor," "Hermosa," "Bonita," "Mi vida," "Corazón," if it exists in the Spanish language, he's most definitely said it. And he won't skip out on variations of your preferred name, or even silly sounding nicknames in public, like: "pookie" and "sugarplum" or some other stupidness. For dates, I believe he'd very much vary between educational and immersive dates and just straight up goofing off. It honestly depends on the season. Late Fall/Winter is for going to museums, workshops, possibly a joint coding class or hanging together in one of your rooms, and Spring/Summer is for exploring the town and having those cute little boardwalk + beach + ferris wheel dates. (I also imagine him to be somewhat clumsy and he WOULD drop ice cream all over the pavement.) As the son of Hephaestus, he is most definitely a human radiator. Definitely had a lot of fever scares just because of his temperature alone. But don't worry, he's fine. And the heat is an extra bonus if you're cuddling. Speaking of cuddling and physical proximity, Leo's love languages are gift-giving and physical touch. It doesn't matter if you guys have been apart for 2 minutes or 2 days, if he hasn't seen you in a little bit, he will greet you with one of those spin around hugs or a kiss on the hand. And for gift giving, he enjoys giving and receiving gifts. He likes to either make you little trinkets, or make/buy your favorite foods. He is a firm believer of giving his lady princess treatment, even on a dollar store budget. Though he wouldn't consider himself much of a photographer, I think he probably enjoys taking lots of pictures of you, both with and without him. It's to savor the moment, and also because he wishes he could've taken more pictures with his mother when she was still alive. He has a photo album of just you, him, and the adventures you two go on. You're not a stranger to pranking by him, by the way. If anything, he probably pranks you the most, out of love. You'll chase him down for a few hours, and he gets a thrill out of it knowing you won't stay mad at him forever. In conclusion, dating Leo can be rocky, calming, and give you a whirlwind of emotions, similar to how being on a floating trireme would feel.

A/N: I'm going to be real I never really paid much attention to Leo in the books, so I'm hoping this is accurate?? my bad if it isnt gang 🙏🏽🙏🏽

#percy jackson #percy jackson and the olympians #heroes of olympus #pjo #hoo percy #pjo/hoo #riordanverse #rick riordan #leo valdez #son of hephaestus #leo valdez x reader #leo x reader pjo #percy jackson fanfic #leo valdez fluff #leo valdez pjo #leo valdez x fem reader #izzy loves cheesecake!! 🎀

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moonshynecybin · 9 months ago

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thinking about FCO Rosquez at their first PR-forced public dinner (like a week or two after the announcement, Wednesday or Thursday night) and how their conversation is supposed to go when Marc was dying to talk to Valentino all winter (still has a string of unanswered texts in his phone) but now he’s closed off and Valentino wants to make this work but can’t have them fight in public or be silent for an entire hour, do we think they find a middle ground or Vale just talk about random things on his own or they somehow ignore everything and are able to tell each other about their winter or subjects that have nothing to do with MotoGP or—

court mandated date night nooooo poor marc :(

this is so nuts to think about... like even outside the insane emotional reality of getting outed and the violence of public scrutiny and like. marc having (once again !) his ability to control his own narrative ripped away from him by his association with valentino— which is his LEAST favorite thing (i do think he blames himself for the photos though... like maybe if i wasnt such a whore we wouldnt be in this mess :((( which. marc buddy naur.) on TOP of that he is having a romantic candellit dinner with his ex situationship that he is still in love with. one million points lightning damage. so everyone is extremely strung out at this shitty little date night table (michelin restaurant lbr) and marc has justtttt gone dark on his whatsapp thread with valentino. maybe he is trying to maybe exert some control over his life here in small ways... put up SOME walls in clumsy self protective fashion...

but VALE is like okay. so if this thing between us is public he doesnt want it or want me. interesting. okay im cool im fine im good np who cares i hate him anyway (girl.) and he's also um. kind of reeling from the abrupt reversal of the status quo here tbh. marc has never played hard to get ever ever not once in his entire life. no self preservation on that man 5ever. he's literally always been there giving vale flattering attention and being in love with him !!! so vale is kind of off-balance here being met with some version of the marc marquez freezeout, not sure how to react but missing marc's attention. and he chooses to compensate as he does with most roadblocks in his life: full charm offensive. (he also, in some selfless and tender corner in the back of his mind that he is trying to ignore, just really and truly knows marc is FREAKED and misses seeing him laugh. he wants the evil jajajas.... he will do anything for the evil jajajas....) so he is trying. SO hard to get him to crack a smile. lowkey causing a scene in the restaurant by being such a clown... but marc isnt really biting. is still responding, like they ARE having a conversation, but its nothing like it used to be. clearly he is just being polite. smiles twice ALL night—all wan and pale and beautiful and so clearly exhausted—and vale's mouth gets all dry and his ribcage feels like its going to implode. and of course in response to this he is like wow. my heartburn is going crazy. damn. [chugging wine].

like looking to real life, as awkward as rosquez have been in their years of estrangement, they have always had to share space. for 6 years in that paddock ! that's a lot of years of small talk ! they can have and will do it if necessary... so as the night drags i think marc talks about riding and the season to fill in the gaps... goes home and gives himself a list of regimented rules to stick to when interacting with valentino (i see him texting exclusively the PR thread more as his classically unpracticed self protection style than like. a deliberate fuck you to that end. i cant drunk booty call vale if karen from PR is also there type stuff). that being said, eventually i do think he makes elaborate excuses to BEND these rules bc he still wants valentino's attention. and also his tongue in his mouth. hes like okay! i am only kissing valentino in front of tv cameras if we both podium! and then they DONT share a podium and hes like. okay! it would be WEIRD if i didnt kiss vale after i podiumed even if he didnt! because thats what i would do if we were actually together! [starts jogging across the paddock like a dick-seeking missile.]

#[SEND IN THE CLOWNS DOT EM PEE THREE]#i also think both of them fundamentally oppose awkward silences. they are YAPPERSSS #motogp #callie speaks #asks #rosquez #forced coming out au

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cozzzynook · 4 months ago

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Something happens and Drift becomes Deadlock again. He's exploring the room he shares with Ratchet and notices what seems to be a third person either living there or visiting often. He can see stuff that's not his or Ratchets laying around. Also a lot of the photos he has are of him Ratchet and this other person.

Deadlock asks about it and Ratchet gets all flustered. They both had feelings for Rodimus but weren't sure if he felt the same way or if they both had feelings for Rodimus.

Deadlock pushes Ratchet to confess.

What Deadlock finds would probably be things like an abundance of fuel that has to be seasoned and cooked. Its an ingredient hab instead of a ready fuel hab. He knows he can’t cook worth slag and he knows Ratchet is too busy to cook daily like this.

So he figures there’s another bot living with them.

Even as Deadlock he wanted to conjunx Ratchet so he’s not surprised they’re conjunx and living together but what does surprise him is learning theres another thats always with them.

He feels like someone is missing when he wakes up and its just Ratchet with him.

When Ratchet tells him he’ll explain later and that he should rest, he keeps pushing it off until the two reach their hab and he sees the fuel. Sees things like art work he knows neither could create, along with lots of photos of a beautiful red mech with greats hips and a big chassis in photos with them.

He asks Ratchet about the mech and Ratchet’s response makes something tick in his spark and processor.

“He’s a really close friend of yours and he’s become a pretty close friend of mine too. His name is Rodimus,” Ratchet vaguely explains not looking Deadlock in the optics long enough for it to be the whole truth.

“And.”

“What do you mean and?”

“He’s more to us than that.”

He states it plainly, having no time for beating around the bush. He was already beaten up enough to need minor surgery on his internals he didn’t want to add anymore inconveniences, not even pertaining emotional matters.

“He’s just a friend,” Ratchet sighs looking in the kitchen for something to eat for the both of them. There’s three rows full of different fuels already made that just need to be heated up. Ratchet gives off the hint of a smile that reaches his optics and lights up his spark. Deadlock shifts a tad and sees the note attached to the fuel but can’t read it once its gripped in Ratchets servo as he pulls out fuel.

He raises an optic ridge at the doc who pointedly ignores his unspoken question.

Thats fine.

He could play this game.

Early morning comes and Deadlock wakes to the sound of pede steps that sound familiar but are foreign all the same and he curses getting knocked out by the slimy creature on the supposed desolate planet.

“Don’t even think about it kid, he’s still recharging so I can administer yer meds. Now hold still.”

That sounded interesting enough and he had nothing better to do. So with a quick set of motions Deadlock was quietly standing in the doorway to the living den where Ratchet was holding a syringe that was glowing dimly with deep bright tones at the end.

“You don’t have to do this Ratch, I’ve been doing this for millions of years,” the mech smiled trying not to move. The cmo raised his dermas to a slight snarl and the mech quieted.

Shifting his helm as he let Ratchet inject him directly next to his spark he sees Deadlock watching them from the doorway with a fearful expression.

He gives a soft smile to the cyber kitten like mech and waits until Ratchet takes the needle out to reassure him.

“Its just spark medicine, no biggie,” he softly relays, standing on his pedes to go over to the fridge and grab one of the few metals he left here.

He grabs a soft zinc stick with sweet silver bits littered on it and takes a bite. He closes the fridge and turns only to jump at the mech being so close to him.

Large servos rest on his hip plating and he feels his spark haze.

“Dri-Deadlock?”

“You smell like me and the doc.”

He doesn’t back away when he says it. In fact he gets closer, finials twitching in the renowned cyber cat fashion he used to be so known for. Rodimus could feel his claws slipping out as they gently rubbed his sensitive biolights and that was his cue to escape Deadlocks grasp.

“I think i’ll head out now, thanks for my shot Ratchet. I’ll be on the bridge if you need me,” he gave a nervous smile as he moved to leave but Deadlock didn’t let him.

“I feel a lie on your glossa,” the smirk on his face plates was far too handsome to be fair and Rodimus looked to Ratchet for help.

“I need to get back to my hab,” Rodimus tried again but Deadlock still didn’t budge.

“Ah ah ah,” the mech purred, engine rumbling his frame as he twirled an imaginary tail, “this is your hab. After all, the spark medicine in the wash racks belongs to you and you’re the only Rodimus I see.”

The way he purred the captains designation left Rodimus weak in the knees and he was feeling his modesty panels slipping. His valve was growing hot and he knew this was definitely not the time nor place for this, especially since he was not their conjunx or partner.

“I..I spend a lot of time here but this isn’t my hab,” Rodimus spook truthfully, “you guys are conjunx,” Rodimus finally acknowledged, “i’m just a really cool third wheel,” he half joked, half somber.

“Third wheel?”

Deadlock was in disbelief at that but Rodimus was serious and looking at the doc nod on agreement he scowled.

“So I’ve become a coward as an autobot?”

“Huh?”

“And you doc? Just giving up? Still rolling over and taking it?”

Ratchet scowled fiercely at that but Deadlock was right. He never said a word of his feelings and neither did Drift. Always too busy dancing around the truth to even admit it aloud to themselves and each other.

“Whats going on?”

“Whats going on, flame princess, is that doc here and the valve sucker I’ve become are too scared to admit wanting you.”

“Say what?”

Rodimus had a dumbstruck look on his face plates that made Deadlock cock an optic ridge.

“Insecurity does not fit you princess.”

“Don’t call me princess,” Rodimus frowned.

“I’m callin it like I see it princess,” Deadlocks smirk was cut throat but Ratchet wasn’t letting him keep it for long.

“Oh really? So, since you’re callin it like ya see it, why not tell Rodimus here how much you really want him. If I’m remembering correctly we never said it but we sure did let our em fields.”

Deadlock grimaced at that and Rodimus was holding onto Deadlock like a lifeline until Ratchet came up to him and traced his cheek plating with a digit.

“We..we like ya kid, a lot, actually. We have for, we have for a long long time now.”

Ratchets optics were the softest he’d ever seen them.

He’s only ever looked at Drift with those optics but now, now he looked at Rodimus with those same optics and Rodimus couldn’t help but look back. Tears on the verge of dropping and spark on the brink of halting from shock.

“Before the war ended, when you came to check on us during our days on Cybertron and when we joined the Lost light. We’ve..we’ve loved you for a long time…”

“Even..even after..”

“Through everything,” Ratchet rested him helm agsinst Rodimus’s, leaving room for one more, “through everything,” he laid bare.

Claws retracted from his hips but the servos did not.

“We’re doing this now Ratty?”

“Drift!”

Rodimus hugged the both of them tightly making them smile.

He shifted to look at the both of them when Drift held his cheek in the palm of his servo, gazing into him trying to find his aura.

Rodimus let him have it.

And what he saw left Drift in tears.

“I didn’t think I could have you,” Rodimus mumbled, “so I was happy to have this. For as long as I could. Just being with you, that would be enough for me. But you…you both really?”

“I wish I’d been completely myself when we said it. But yeah Roddy. We love you. All of you.”

Resting their helms together didn’t feel hard.

It felt normal.

Like a thousand lifetimes had gone by with this exact moment happening on repeat. It warmed something within Rodimus spark and he slipped into them.

Em fields becoming one, all three stood in each others arms.

Drift couldn’t help but thank the other half of himself.

He doesn’t think they’d be here without him.

Idk how this turned out but I tried.

#dratchrod #ratchlock #deadlock #drift #ratchet #rodimus #prime #transformers #idw #mtmte #drift x ratchet #deadlock x ratchet #ratchet x rodimus x deadlock

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sendme-2hell · 3 months ago

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Ranking the HOTD episodes by how gay they are (season 2)

season 1 rankings

8. Episode 6: Red Dragon vs Gold. I don't think very much gay happened in this episode. Other than Alys just being cool and Daemon being tortured is gay rights. Also I feel like Sunfyre is gay. 2/10 gay

7. Episode 1. Son for a Son. Points because we find out Alicent is delusional and is sending Rhaenrya letters and telling everyone about it. Jace and Cregan could be gay but we don't see much of it. -1 billion points for Alicent & Criston hooking up. 3/10 gay

6. Episode 2. Rhaenyra the Cruel. Rhaenrya and Daemon pretty much divorce. Mysaria and Rhaenrya start sharing the most intense looks in the world. But another million points taken off for Alicent and Criston STILL hooking up. 4/10 gay

5. Episode 5. Regent. Rhaenrya and Alicent are mirroring each other the whole episode as they are ignored by their councils -and we all know there is nothing gayer. Alicent is mean to Criston. Rhaena and Jeyne share a very gay look in my opinion. 7/10 gay

4. Episode 7. The Red Sowing. Alicent escapes the castle and goes camping. This is her coming out to me. Rhaenrya starts to go a little cult leader, and we can mark Mysaria down as scared and horny. 8/10 gay

3. Ep 3. The Burning Mill. Ok finally we start cooking. Alicent is saved from the delusional allegations when we find out Rhaenrya has been saving her letter in the same place she keeps her kids toys and, presumably the page from season1. Rhaenrya risks life and limb because she trusts Alicent not to rat on her and visits her in the sept. its very emotional. Alicent does a little moan when she sees Rhaenrya for the first time in awhile.

+ whatever is going on with the bracken/blackwood warring teenagers + Rhaenrya and Mysaria share some intense looks again

10/10 gay

2. Episode 8. The Queen Who Never Was. Alicent uses the power of gay speedwalking to make it to dragonstone, putting her trust in Rhaenrya to not kidnap her. Alicent continues their really fun tradition of talking about Viserys' love for each other when they are really talking about their love. Alicent asks Rhae to run away with her, and also offers her son as a sacrifice. Its pretty intense. Then she says "I cast myself on the mercy of the friend who once loved me" like WHAT!!!

+ points for whatever was going on with Criston and Gwayne. + Rhaenrya and Mysaria looking out at seasmoke who is no longer alone, mirroring before when Mysaria said "he looks lonely" earlier . When she was really talking about Rhaenrya.

11/10 gay

1.Episode 6. Smallfolk. Sorry Rhaenicent you're number one in my heart but you cannot beat an actual kiss. YET. Rhaesaria kiss is incredible and very gay. +1 million points, -2 taken away because Alicent had a hard episode and it's not fair to her that she hasn't kissed a girl yet.

+ points for Alicent getting a scar in the same place as she cut Rhaenrya as the smallfolk chant Rhaenyras name.

1000000/10 gay

#rhaenicent #rhaesaria #my rankings #this is so silly #lmk if you disagree #hotd

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corinthianism · 1 year ago

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last kiss | sam winchester (1)

pairing: sam winchester/f!reader additional tags: best friends to lovers (?), fluff, angst

summary: you and sam were inseparable; two like-minded souls brought together by a life of saving people and hunting monsters. when the world is about to come to an end, he's forced to make a choice, one that might just haunt you forever. - set in the season 5 finale

masterlist | next chapter | ao3

CHAPTER ONE: SAVIN' ALL MY LOVE

Trusting a demon, especially the king of crossroad demons, was not what you had in your itinerary for saving the world… but perhaps you should’ve known. After all, being a hunter wasn’t exactly a cut-and-dry profession, especially when you’re working with the Winchesters. Still, you were wondering if being left in an abandoned house with Sam, while Dean and Crowley, of all people, tracked down Pestilence’s demon assistant, or as Crowley liked to put it, “the horseman’s stable boy”. Leaving Sam out of such an important mission left a bad taste in your mouth, but you knew that your best friend wasn’t exactly the most trustworthy candidate to save the world right now.

Not after what happened with Ruby.

You grimaced. Best not to think about that too much, unless you wanted to match Sam with a cranky, scrunched up face of your own.

“Keep an eye on him, would you?” Dean pulled you aside before he left with Crowley. “If I know anything, sweetheart, it’s that he sure as hell listens to you more than he listens to me.”

You let out a long breath through your teeth as you glanced at Sam, who was, unsurprisingly, drinking his feelings by the fireplace. There was only so much to keep you busy in a place like this, so you decided that you might as well join him.

“Got room for one more?” you asked gently, not wanting to irritate him further. He gave you a look, which you had affectionately called “Sam’s kicked puppy look”, and huffed before scooching over to let you sit on the worn-down couch next to him. “This reminds me of Cedar Falls.”

Sam laughed quietly, shaking his head, “This is nothing like Cedar Falls.”

“True, but it made you laugh,” you grinned victoriously at him. “Penny for your thoughts, Sammy?”

He took one big sip from his bottle of whiskey, and turned to face you, his eyes doing that thing where it got bigger and sadder and you couldn’t help but give him whatever he wanted. What an asshole. The corner of his lips turned upward into a tired smile, “You don’t really wanna know that.”

“Actually, yeah, I don’t,” you rolled your eyes. “But I did kinda grow up with you and I’m your only friend besides your brother and an angel, so I’m morally obligated to know.”

That earned you a scoff from him, but he spilled the beans anyway.

“It’s Dean. I mean, I know he’s not exactly wrong for not trusting me right now, but trusting Crowley?” he ranted, his voice growing tighter and louder in frustration.

“He doesn’t trust Crowley,” you made your point as softly as you could, knowing he was thinking of a million possibilities right now. You didn’t want to add to that. “He just doesn’t have any other option at the moment.”

“He does have an option though, and it’s not working with a demon. Trust me, I know firsthand that it doesn’t end well.”

You probably made a face at the mention of his “firsthand experience”, because he chuckled again and took another swig of his drink.

“Well, on the bright side, you got me. And that’s about as good as it can get, Winchester,” another small smile from him. “I think we need more drinks. For me, I mean,” you commented, happy with your small victory. You stood up once again to get the mini-cooler in the other room. He nodded in agreement, going back to spacing out as you left. Taking one last look at him, you couldn’t help but imagine the weight he must’ve been carrying. You knew him. You knew him deeply, and that made things suck even more.

Of course, there was no other solution besides burying the emotional damage every world-ending problem left on you. There was no time for heart-to-hearts in the life of a hunter. For now, the only real help you could give Sam was to lend him an ear and to toss him a few more drinks.

A flash of blue in your peripheral told you that you found what you were looking for. Cold mist pleasantly greeted your skin as you opened the cooler up, finding it full of ice and an assortment of drinks. “Leave it to the Winchesters to save the world but also somehow always be fully stocked up on alcohol,” you smirked, pushing the lid back down and picking it up to bring it to the living room.

Sam’s voice made you stop in your tracks. He was talking to someone. On the phone, you thought.

“What if you guys lead the devil to the edge… and I jump in?”

What?

You found yourself inching closer, just to see if he would say anything else.

“It’d be just like when you turned the knife around on yourself; just one action, just one leap,” he persisted, voice heavy with desperation.

Everything he said after that was a blur, but you figured he was talking to Bobby. And God, you hoped the old man talked some sense into him.

“Was that Bobby?” you finally walked in, setting the cooler down on the floor. Sam straightened up, shoving his phone back into his pocket as he heard the clipped tone in your voice, no matter how much you tried to sound casual.

“Uh, yeah,” he mumbled before furrowing his brows. “How much of that did you hear?”

“Just enough to call you an idiot,” you crossed your arms, unimpressed.

“You sound like him,” he rolled his eyes, facing away from you and sitting back down on the couch, as if he could avoid your incoming sermon if he wasn’t actively looking at you.

“I damn hope so, because he’s the only one here with any sort of sense! Do you even hear yourself, Sam? We just managed to convince Dean not to say yes to Michael, and now you wanna let the devil ride your meatsuit? What’s wrong with you?!” you yelled at him, setting the cooler down so you could focus all your energy into conveying to him that he was, in fact, an idiot. “No, Sammy. I won’t let you do it. I won’t… I can’t.”

He must’ve noticed the panic in your voice; how the anger melted away into fear. Sam was familiar with that tone. It was what he heard in Dean’s voice nearly every goddamn day for the past two years. He just hadn’t expected to hear it from you. Even when he was sneaking off to meet with Ruby, you stood by him, protecting him from the worst of Dean’s paranoia. When it all came to light and his brother’s fears came true, you still held his hand like he had knocked over a vase instead of starting the apocalypse. He knew he didn’t deserve your kindness, and yet you still gave it to him so freely.

Hearing that desperation from you, it squeezed his heart in a way that made him forget how to breathe. The alcohol was already tearing away at his system, forcing only his most basic instincts to push him forward. Those instincts told him to look at you, to not be a coward and not be the reason for your worry. He hated making you worry.

Something wet trickled down your cheek and as you brought a hand to wipe it away, Sam had already turned around and seen the second tear fall. You hated being seen like this. It was weak, it was juvenile. You kill demons and vampires and shifters, for fuck’s sake. There was no time for crying your heart out.

But the possibility of a world that didn’t have Sam Winchester in it was enough to stop even you, in your tracks.

“Hey,” Sam pulled you out of your thoughts. “Look at me.”

“I don’t want to, asshole.”

He only smiled. Damn him.

Setting down his bottle of whiskey on the floor, he grabbed your shoulders, “I’m not gonna do it, not unless we all agree. It’s like you said, we don’t have a lot of options, so we need to make our own.”

“Why is killing yourself an option?” you argued, struggling to look him in the eye as if he was already dead. Like he was just a figment of your imagination designed to haunt you and taunt you for words left unsaid. He was still here with you but your mind, treacherous as it was, was already imagining his hunter’s funeral. How the wood would burn and how you wouldn’t be able to stop thinking about him in hell. The chance of him dying, of losing him, had always been a real thing but now, more than ever, it felt real.

“It’s me or 7 billion people,” he pointed out gently, swiping his thumb over your cheek to wipe a tear away. “I’m not that important of a person, but I can make an important decision. That has to count for something, right?”

“We’ll find something,” you promised. “I’ll find something.”

He smiled again at your determination, “That’s my girl.”

He pulled you in close. Underneath the smell of whiskey, you could smell the minty soap he always uses. You breathed it all in, trying to ignore the fact that learning his new plan felt like being splashed with ice cold water. He seemed to notice you tense up, because he spoke up again, “Do you wanna dance with me?”

“What?”

“It’ll be just like Cedar Falls,” he offered teasingly. “And besides, it’s just you and me here anyway.”

The corner of your lips twitched upward at the memory, “We have no music.”

A beat.

He stood up, making a show of clearing his throat. Liquid courage was truly something else.

“A few stolen moments is all that we share,” he began, grinning stupidly at you. Though Dean was usually the singer between the two (as much as he tried to deny it, him belting out Toni Braxton in the shower told you all otherwise), Sam wasn’t bad at holding a tune. He gave you that look, telling you that what he was doing was just for you, and only you, as he guided your hands to rest on his shoulders, “You’ve got your family and they need you there.”

He started swaying, so you attempted to return the favor by continuing the song, “Though I’ve tried to resist, being last on your list… but no other man’s gonna dooo…”

“So I’m saving all my love for youuu…” you both sang in unison, wide grins on both of your faces at the sheer cheesiness of the situation. You took turns singing the lyrics, dancing slowly by the fireplace. For a moment, you could almost forget that the world was about to end, but you thought maybe, just maybe, it wouldn’t be so bad if Sam’s face was the last thing you ever saw. Not bad at all.

▼△▼△▼△▼△▼

It was the year 2000. You were comfortably tucked under the cheap motel blanket, watching reruns of the Golden Girls. John had taken Dean out to do a salt and burn somewhere near the outskirts of town, leaving you alone to guard all your belongings as Sam went to his senior prom. Bobby owed him one, but sent you instead since the old man was busy helping other hunters. The room telephone rang a few times, and you had half a mind to answer it, before eventually deciding that it probably wasn’t the best idea to leave it hanging in case the Winchesters needed help.

“Hello?” you rolled over to answer the phone.

“Hey,” came Sam’s voice, sounding smaller than you were used to.

“Sammy,” you sat upright, now holding the phone with both hands, as if you could reach through and pull him next to you. “Are you okay?”

He let out a deep sigh, “I, uh… yeah, I’m okay. I’m coming back to the motel though, I think.”

“What do you mean? I thought prom didn’t end until 10? It’s only 8:45, Sam.”

“So, my date kind of, um, ditched me, I guess?” he replied meekly, drawing breaths between each heavy word. “You know, it’s fine. I should’ve known.”

“No.”

“What?”

“You give me 20 minutes, Sammy. Just stay where you are.”

In less than a fraction of a second, you were up and scouring through your duffle bags in search of something that would resemble a prom dress. Hunting required you to own a small collection of various clothes and finally, you managed to pull out a dress that wasn’t marred in some way. It was deep blue satin, and it wasn’t until a year ago that you were able to grow into it. Feeling the smooth fabric in your hands, you thought of the one time you got to wear it, posing as a lawyer’s (played by John) spoiled daughter. Shockingly, Dean had thrifted it somewhere, somehow not opting to choose the most hideous frilly dress for you. He argued he liked the color, and he didn’t really want to think about what your bust size was, so it stayed unused for a fair while because it didn’t fit you well enough to be convincing.

You slid the dress carefully over your head, and decided that perhaps a little bit of color to your face was needed, lest Sam mistook you for a vengeful spirit. Once again, you dug through the endless pockets of your duffle bag to grab the old red lipstick you had quietly nicked from a witness’ house. It was old, probably expired, but you dabbed the rouge on your cheeks and lips anyway. Ultimately, you decided your hair was better off as it was. You slipped your feet into the uncomfortable and only pair of heels you owned. Even with the dull ache already forming in the balls of your feet, you smiled to yourself. For once, you weren’t a dirty, bloody, beaten hunter. Tonight, you were just a girl. And even if you weren’t doing this for Sam, it felt wonderful to have a taste of normal.

The motel you stayed at was a short motorcycle ride from the Cedar Falls High School, so you opted to carry a silver dagger and a silver bullet-loaded gun with you for protection. Underneath the dress, of course. Without even stepping foot onto the school property itself, you could already see the familiar silhouette of Sam sitting by himself on the steps of the entrance. The stairs weren’t high at all, and it emphasized how tall he’d gotten in the last couple of months. He hugged himself, hunched over with his eyes closed as he inhaled and exhaled slowly.

Taking in a few breaths of anticipation yourself, you awkwardly walked over to him, steps wobbly and unsure. He looked up at the sound of heels meeting concrete, and you froze. He was wide-eyed, and looking at you. God knows you never thought he’d be able to look at you like that. For a moment, it was like time itself had stopped. The dust floating in the air stilled and butterflies stopped flapping their wings. Sam Winchester, in the suit that was much too big for him, in leather shoes beat up by hours of running around and chasing monsters, sat on the concrete stairs of his school and stared at you like you were the most beautiful thing he’s ever seen.

“Hey,” you were the first to break the silence.

“Hey,’’ a small smile appeared on his face. He pat the space next to him, taking your hand so you could sit down without falling over. “I like the dress. Isn’t this the one you wore last year? When we did that shifter case in Oklahoma?”

You chuckled, “Yeah. I’m surprised you remember.”

“Of course I’d remember.”

Heat blossomed in your cheeks at how casually he said it, and suddenly a random streetlight was the most interesting thing to stare at. Anything was more interesting to look at than his stupidly beautiful and kind eyes.

Sam spoke up again, “You didn’t have to come here, you know. I could’ve just gone back to the motel.”

“And waste this outfit?” you gestured to his ill-fitting suit, grinning wide. “I don’t think so.”

He laughed, and somehow you think this was the first real laugh he’d let out in the past week. He was less tense now, more open. This was the Sammy you knew. This was the joy you wanted him to feel for as long as you were around.

“Dance with me,” you stood up, offering your hand to him. “That’s what you’re supposed to do at prom, right?”

His eyes widened, his back slouching as if he was trying to hide from you, “Uh, no.”

“Come onnn, Sammy!”

“No!” he laughed, trying to scoot away from you. You tried to grab his wrist, but his sudden movement threw you off balance, causing you to nearly fall over... but Sam caught you. He held a firm grip on your arm, forcing you to notice just how much he’s grown up. His arms were strong; toned from years of John’s training in addition to hunting. Now standing, he was taller than both his father and brother, yet he felt uncomfortable in his body. Like he didn’t know what to do with all of it. Like he was still just awkward, nerdy Sam. But he wasn’t. Not anymore. You didn’t really know how to feel about that.

“Thanks,” you said breathlessly, trying to come back to reality. “Dance with me? I can hear your school’s speakers all the way from here. Let’s make the most of it, hm?”

“Okay,” he agreed, finally, looking a little awestruck by what just happened. Gently, he placed his hands, which were much larger than yours, on your waist as you wrapped your arms around his shoulders. The muffled sound of Whitney Houston’s “Saving All My Love For You” echoed from inside the school. The two of you started swaying slowly to the music, just enjoying each other’s company. There were no monsters here tonight, and there was no hunting to be done.

Your eyes flickered upwards to look at Sam, his own eyes closed and his lips pressed into a peaceful smile. For once, he looked 17. For once, he was just a boy.

Resting your head on his chest as the music swept you away into another world, there was one thought that lingered in your mind: this was how things should be.

#sam winchester #sam winchester x reader #supernatural #supernatural fanfic #team free will #dean winchester #jared padalecki

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ofallthingsnasty · 9 months ago

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From the yandere alphabet, could you possibly do F, H, J, or N for Blue? Him and Bill are my favs :)

Yandere alphabet

Of course 💕 Blue is from this fic and my not-so-little beefy merman, you can find more yandere Blue here and here. For everything Blue, browse my OC: Blue tag.

tw. yandere, noncon, oviposition, f!reader, minors dni

Fight: How would they feel if their darling fought back?

Hurt, betrayal, disbelief, anger, annoyance - Blue feels a lot of things at once. But the only emotion that he will show is anger. Of course, he knows that what he is doing isn't sane, isn't consensual - he isn't delusional - but he thinks he is acting for both his and your own good when he takes you for himself. Blue is a lot older than you (which is only natural, considering that merfolk live longer than humans do and mature slower) and he sometimes gets a little cocky, a little condescending. To him, you're still so young and immature - especially when you tell him (fully aware that his last fertile seasons are approaching) that you want to put off having kids for another few years. He takes you out a sense of entitlement and hurt that you're suddenly 'breaking your promise', coupled with the 'I-know-best' attitude I mentioned above - so how does a boyfriend-turned-captor react when the love of his life is fighting back? It's definitely going to be a pile of negative emotions. When you dare to buck under his grip, to wiggle away from him or even try to hurt him - he'll go through a million thoughts in one second. But his pride is too grand to show you that it makes him sad, deep, deep down - the only thing that you will reap is acid, in hopes that it might deter you from acting out again. He can fix your relationship later, he thinks. Because you're more likely to see that he was right all along with a fat-cheeked baby on your arm. Hell: What would be their darling’s worst experience with them? I'd say that depends on you - as in, what would be worse for you? He isn't violet, but he is going to force himself on you so you can carry his eggs. He isn't going to isolate you forever, but he will definitely keep you from anyone and anything until your babies are a little older. So, what is worse? To get violated by your partner of more than a decade or to be all on your own because he thinks it's what is best for you? Which can you stomach better? That one singular traumatic event or the grueling years of isolation and solitude? Both are harrowing in their own right, though the latter might not be defined as a 'single experience'.

Jealousy: Do they get jealous? Do they lash out or find a way to cope?

Oh, Blue gets jealous pretty easily, even as his 'canon' self. Your worlds are so different - he can't follow you to land, only has you when you're at sea with him - and, as many men with big, great egos do, he has that little nagging voice in his head that tells him that you might just fall for another human because it's easier, more familiar. I didn't mention in 'at home', but you wear his bite on your neck for that very reason. He's trying to tell any potential suitor to back off. He's a biter in general, obsessed with leaving marks all over, to make it clear that you're taken. So when he gets jealous? It might just be the straw that breaks the camel's back. You tell him you need more time before having kids and he can smell some other man on you? That doesn't bode well for you. Trust me.

Naughty: How would they punish their darling?

Never physically, that's for sure. He will give you the cold shoulder, will ignore you, will get loud and desperate - but he won't ever hit you. Really, in his eyes he isn't even punishing you. He thinks that you're still in a relationship, even when he forced his eggs into you, thinks that he simply had to force you to see what's important. He thinks you're just arguing like couples do, that he's simply voicing his anger and frustrations. (The fact that there is now a considerable power balance between you is ignored by him.) So why would he hit you? He isn't like that, he loves you, don't you see?

#yandere teratophilia #merman x reader #monster x reader #terato #OC: Blue #tw.yandere #tw.noncon #tw.oviposition

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citrineghost · 1 year ago

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While I'm on my ofmd critical soapbox today, the next thing I wanna bitch about is the fact they split up Olu and Jim.

I had a pretty strong impression that the reason they did this was because they're two of the bi-est people on-board and season 2 had an explosion of female characters. The vibes, to me, were, "Oh, well, they're good friends anyway so it doesn't matter if they stay together romantically." Which irritated the fuck out of me.

Every other romance in the show feels like the romance takes precedence over the actual friendship between the characters. That's fine. That's a lot of people's cup of tea. But, as a demisexual, it was really nice and refreshing to see a couple of characters be best friends before getting together. Their dynamic was really solid and relatable and interesting to me. They were playful and silly but still clearly madly in love with each other.

The second season fucking poached their romance.

The fact that it's never even addressed, really.

I support people who like the new relationships they're in in season 2. If you felt represented or saw yourself in those relationships, or just thought the chemistry was good, that's great. I'm glad you got something out of it.

To me, it felt really forced. It felt like they were only put into these relationships to make a romantic space for the female characters in the show.

There were a million other ways they could have improved on the amount of women in the cast without cutting out Olu and Jim's romantic relationship. Imagine the intensity of their reunion if neither of them had connected with anyone else. Imagine the heartache of seeing them reconnect after thinking the other was dead.

Instead, there's this kind of patched-up awkward conversation about them both liking other people now - not even an emotional conversation. They never mourn what they lost, they act as if it never happened almost. Like they were always only ever friends who just happened to fuck once or twice.

Do not even get me started on the "forced closure" vibes of Jim trying to help Olu get back with Yi Sao. Fuck.

#ofmd critical #oluwande #jim jimenez #jim x oluwande #ofmd #ofmd 2 #ofmd2 #our flag means death

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hannigramislife · 4 months ago

Note

I am not a dazai hater by any means, but you talk so respectfully (and make a lot of sense) about your opinions on him I can't help but really enjoy your blog! I particularly loved your ship opinions posts. Any other characters you want to share ship opinions on?

Hi friend!!

I'm glad I came off as respectful and left a positive impression on you! I do a lot of shit-posting about Dazai, but I do feel like I am at least fair to him when I am analyzing his actions? Other times, yeah, I'm just indulging in my desire to beat him bloody. Just, like, once. To get it out of my system XD. For science.

And the ship posts! Those were soooo fun to make. And oh, let me think about any other ships and my thoughts on them...

Fyolai (Fyodor / Nikolai) – Remember how I was like "there's just some things you don't write if you don't want people to ship two characters?" This is another case. This is the reason I disagree with people that go like "bsd is the only manga where no ships are necessary," like bro, there's so many things wrong with that sentence. It is absolutely necessary to make a bond such as these two's feel almost tangible to the viewers. It is essential to understand Nikolai's emotional dependance on Fyodor as a driving factor to his actions. Nikolai is orbiting around him, and you can see Fyodor having a genuine interest in this man, who doesn't play a big role in his grand plans. To me, these two feel kinda like Soukoku? Something something "the stars aligned so we could meet." 10/10 ship.

Ranpoe (Ranpo / Poe) – What God do I need to pray to in oder to get about 50 OVAs with these two?? Season 4 Ranpoe was the biggest treat and gift to me, personally. I love love love their dynamic so much. Like, yeah, Poe idolizes Ranpo, but he is now just as much in Ranpo's radar as well! Ranpo imprinted on him, he is Ranpo's emotional support rich boyfriend for fuck's sake. The way Ranpo uses his ability seamlessly?? Like it belongs to him?? Like he's so goddamn comfortable with it?? And what about the, "What would I do with myself if Ranpo-kun were to die..?” They're literally soulmates. They met and clicked so hard, they found each other, they suit each other, they complete each other. 10 million/10.

AtsuLucy (Atsushi / Lucy) – Firstly, I love Lucy, I think she's a great character, I love her design and personality and ability and everything. My baby. However, I have no particular attachment to this ship. It's not bad, and it's perfectly valid, but I don't see like- a need for it, you know? They understand each other, have stuff in common, and impacted each other's lives; I do love when two characters save each other left and right, so kudos for that. Honestly, they seem like they'd be absolutely amazing friends, really close, and honestly, I would love to see Atsushi have such a friendship, I think it would be good for him, but personally I don't see them in a romantic light. 9/10 ship due to the lack of feels I got from their interactions.

HiguGin (Higuchi / Gin) – I think that they're amazing and I would die for them. I need a spin-off of them. I need at least a whole WAN episode of them going on a date and shopping and eating ice cream and training and going to the beach– basically everything because they'd have the best relationship ever. I can just see them cuddling on a couch and watching TV as sskk fight over the last dumping in the kitchen. I need more about them like I need air. Also, petition for Beast Higuchi and Beast Gin to take over the Mafia. For reasons. 10/10 ship.

FukuMori (Fukuzawa / Mori) – Yeah, yeah, they're divorced Double Black and whatever, but let's be real for a second; no one can convince me that when Fukuchi first showed up, y'all's reaction was not, "Hold on a second Fukuzawa, what about your husband?!" The way Fukuchi behaved with Ranpo screamed new boyfriend trying to gain the son's approval, I was dying XD. "But Fukuchi knew Fukuzawa first!!" Yeah, yeah, I don't care– I'm not a zskk shipper until Fukuchi enters the screen. Let Fukuzawa and Mori be the yin and yang pillars of Yokohama. 9/10 ship because Mori is *sigh* a bad guy. Sad.

Odango (Oda / Ango) – They are married. No, I will not accept criticism. This is canon to me.

KuniBram (Kunikida / Bram) – My sister has decided they're also married and coparenting, so the conclusion is that they're married and coparenting.

I can't think of any ships right now, but do mention if there's one you like that I have missed!

(Honorary Mention: Dead Apple Trio) – So, we agree they fucked, right?? That wasn't subtext in the slightest, that was the greatest amount of subtle and yet ostentatious display of repressed homosexuality I've seen since SuperWhoLock hit this website. Dazai did not look that good to simply not be pushed against a table/wall. That's a disservice to him.

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doodlingaway · 6 months ago

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Bridgerton S3 Thoughts So Far

I have approximately a million thoughts. They are not terribly well organized, but here we go.

(Spoilers ahead, obv)

I am obsessed with the Kanthony snippets. They have ruined me. Words cannot describe my joy and just the amount of flailing that I have done. THESE TWOOOOO I LOVE THEMMMM 🥰🫠

Specifically obsessed with the idea that they are just too horny to function and that's why they're not in most of the episodes. Go off, you sluts. ❤️‍🔥

THEIR HAND OBSESSION I CANNOT. Toying with a fic idea about this, I love it so much.

We knew this about Anthony, but love that they've solidified him as a man obsessed with eating out his wife, thank youuuuuu

Colin and Pen are so cute! I love them and am really digging how they adapted RMB so far. And THE CARRIAGE SCENE HOLY HELL 🥵

(But also RIP my dreams of virgin!Colin, what a hoe)

I low key love Lord Debling, he's so sweet. Not for Penelope at the expense of Colin, but like, I love him and kinda want him as a practical match for Cressida so she can escape her dumb family.

Speaking of Cressida, who else got queer vibes off the Eloise/Cressida friendship??? Granted I am not an objective observer, I have been stanning for a queer Eloise story since like day fucking one of this series, but like, come on. I don't love her and Eloise as a long-term match, but if this is how I can get my bb Eloise out of the closet, I am fully on board.

Penelope and Eloise!! 🥺 It hurts so much I just want them to be friends again! Tbh, this friendship rift feels like as much of a beating emotional heart of this season as the main Polin story, and I am HERE FOR IT. All for anything that shows that platonic love between friends can be equally important/impactful/heartbreaking/fulfilling as romantic love!

JOHN AND FRANCESCA!!! 🥰🥹🥺😭 Honestly, how dare they make me love them as a pair so much when we know what happens to him?? But I love what Hannah Dodd is doing with Fran and this makes me SO EXCITED (but scared) for her eventual season.

These storylines that I loved aside, there are TOO MANY UNNECESSARY STORYLINES. I like Will and Alice as characters, but I didn't need their storyline. The whole "Featherington sisters don't know how to fuck" was funny once or twice for comic relief, but I do not need a whole thing of it. I ADORE Ben, but like, what are we doing here with Lady Arnold? I fully support Violet getting some action and am intrigued by whatever the deal is with Lady D and her brother, but I could take or leave most of the Marcus Anderson stuff at this point. I just wish that they had cut a few of these and spent more time with Colin and Pen and/or Pen and Eloise (or I would never complain about more Kanthony, but I can acknowledge that they're not the focus of the season, so fine).

I'm super glad they took the note on season 2 not being horny enough and were like WE'RE DIALING IT UP TO 10 🔥 Everybody get you some action this season, we love to see it.

All of this said, I'm super enjoying it so far and DYING THAT WE HAVE TO WAIT A WHOLE MONTH FOR THE SECOND HALF! 🫠 Excited/terrified to see how they handle the Whistledown (wo)manhunt, and forever grateful for the romance genre where you know it ends in an HEA.

I'm off to write some fic to cope (and I hope you all do the same so I can enjoy yours!). And I would love to know others' thoughts - I've been loving to see everyone's reactions, even where they're different from mine!

#bridgerton season 3 #bridgerton #bridgerton spoilers #kanthony #polin #francesca x john #peneloise

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aretheyqueer · 22 days ago

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Is she a lesbian?

disclaimer: this is a hc, not speculating on what the writers intentions were.

long reason under the cut!

- she literally ends up with the guy whos been trying to get with her for years, even though until a certain point she seemed to have like, no interest in him and it felt sudden for her to actually like him romantically and kind of felt like she was just getting with him because it felt like she should

- she gives a love confession for a girl (hope), though whether or not even the writers think it's romantic is debatable, but then she ends up sired to her which is a result of strong emotions before dying with another vampires blood in your system. she also spends pretty much the whole season with hope before just at the last minute getting with the guy

- she goes on a date with a guy and makes a checklist of qualities for him to meet, including "willing to risk his life for me" and then when he meets all of them, she literally says, "he's totally epic romance material, so why don't i feel anything?"

- in that same episode, she says to a friend, "him coming to rescue me like that? epic" but the person who actually saved her was hope. they also have the guy she ends up with say that "when you really needed someone you went to him, and i was kinda hoping it'd be me" but what they actually SHOW her doing, I think in that literal episode, is going to HOPE every time she needs to talk something out or anything. She went to the other guy once.

- "i love you, hope mikaelson" "you and I are bonded for life"

- she says when getting with her endgame guy, "i have always had a million voices in my head, screaming to be heard. when you died, a part of me felt like there was no one left in my life who would help me sort them all out. the good from the bad," but again, she spent the entire season with hope, hope has been the one she's turned to at every point. when she was stressing about something and needed someone to turn to, she went to hope and not any of the guys, so her saying this when hope has been the one helping her work through things just feels SO fake and forced. there are just multiple scenes where she/other people say things about her relationship with a guy that really just applies more to hope.

- she looks significantly more emotional when confessing to hope than when mg confesses (for at least the third time and it was never a secret) that it's always been her for him. her face in that scene with mg is literally not happy or excited or even really emotional. she looks a little bored, and a little annoyed.(and she literally kisses mg in an earlier episode where she thinks she's gonna die and says "just to be clear, that was for you and not for me.")

- her storyline just feels very comphet

tag: @bibridlizzie

#legacies #lizzie saltzman #lesbian #lesbian headcanon #poll #polls #lgbt headcanons #tv shows

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the5n00k · 8 months ago

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M*A*S*H and the power of pure unadulterated sorrow

(this series is marketed primarily as a comedy! :D what a scam! /hj)

⚠️long post⚠️

I want to point out one of my favorite aspects of this series which is how different it presents its drama compared to other shows marketed as dramas that I've seen. ESPECIALLY modern film

The last movie I can remember portraying this sheer level of raw grief and despair was Hereditary. Such a powerful film about how grief can tear a family apart, it's honestly uncomfortable to sit through because of how well written and acted some of the scenes with the family are. And that's the point; tragedy isn't pretty. So many times you will see characters die on screen and the actors around them reacting to it with a single tear or burying their face into their stone cold main protagonist's shoulder. I have been craving that Hereditary level of despair from something for a long time now. That raw emotional breakdown that completely shatters the mask of a usually well put together facade.

Then my friends recommended M*A*S*H to me.

Yes you can make all the "crying breakfast friends" jokes you want about how often I latch onto a heart wrenching emotional moment in a show but I can't help it when it's so well executed. I can see a million silly Disney sidekicks die and feel nothing but this show has made me cry even on rewatch. And that is RARE for me, usually it's a one and done thing but this show still manages to tear me to pieces.

Not saying the show doesn't have any fun in it, of course it does, that's how the emotional moments hit harder. If you never saw the characters at their highest highs, seeing them at their lowest would just become numbing and unengaging.

Spoilers ahead obviously, I'm going to be talking about a lot of really important character moments throughout the show please if you are at all interested watch the show and come back. It's 11 seasons but it's well worth your time

Something that has always been powerful to me has been grown men crying. Perhaps it's because I never really had a good emotional connection with any men in my life and always saw them as stronger (emotionally) than someone who is erratically emotional like myself. Especially during the timeframe this is set (the 50's) and shot in (70's-80's) I was not anticipating the level of raw acting talent from the guys in this show. Especially once you get past season 4 and shit really starts hitting the fan

To see these grown men who take so much pride in their important positions as doctors and men and who they are just break down weeping like a scared child. It never ceased to break something in me. I cried the hardest at the amnesiac soldier who lost his brother (FANTASTIC scene it should have won 60 awards) but the two characters that have always stood out to me with this particular subject have been Hawkeye and BJ

Clearly if you've watched the entire show you understand what I'm talking about and obviously the other cast members have their moments (Winchester my beloved one day I will put you under a microscope and pick you apart) but for this subject, I'm going to use the two of them as examples because I consider these moments the most prominent to me personally

I'll start with BJ because there's a lot to unpack with him and simultaneously not a lot at the same time. Because he's so closed off and disconnected from most things happening all the time, choosing to opt out of anything whenever he can unless provoked, characters don't really know that much about him. As an audience, you're forced to pick apart his little mannerisms and priorities to see where his head's at. Some people might not like that but frankly I love it. He's a simple character on the surface but underneath, he's a terrified father and husband trying to keep his head down long enough to snap out of the nightmare that is war and wake up at home. I relate to him in that way, just trying to stay in my own corner and occupy myself until I have to wake up and do it all over again. Coping with the monotony is slowly driving him crazy

Then in Period of Adjustment, he gets a letter from his wife about how she and their daughter Erin saw Radar at the airport when he got sent home. And his thin thread of stability finally snaps. He's pissy for the entire day and doesn't want to tell anyone why, he'd rather just go through the motions and repress it just like everything else. But it keeps outwardly affecting everything around him whether he likes it or not. Then, at his lowest, he physically assaults his best friend in their own tent and destroys their only lifeline, the still they use to (poorly) make gin, and runs out.

After getting so intoxicated he can't stand up, Hawkeye finally finds him again and laughs that he's wearing a helmet to see him, still trying to make light of how much he's suffering. He tells him he's sorry for punching him and Hawkeye sits down with him. He finally is completely and truly honest for probably the only time in the entire series. He is completely vulnerable and open and tells him what's been bothering him. His infant daughter mistakenly called Radar her dad. The first person she ever called dad wasn't him. And he breaks down. He barely got to see her when she was born before he got drafted, he missed so many milestones of parenthood with her already and she ends up calling someone else dad. BJ tells Hawkeye he is furious at Radar and knows it's not his fault but he's still jealous. He even mentions how he's envious of Trapper, Hawkeye's old bunkmate from before he got there, which is still a huge sore point for him because of how abrupt his departure was. But he doesn't reprimand him for speaking badly about two people he'd considered close friends. He holds him closer and lets him cry. This isn't a single tear cry, this is a full vulnerability twisted face cry of pure pain. He can't say anything to ease the pain either, nothing he could say right now could help his friend. He just has to let him work through it.

They rebuilt the still together but BJ still remains broken. This is sort of touched on in Goodbye, Farewell, and Amen when he tries to get sent home before Erin's second birthday and misses it. It's not held on but you can obviously tell that he's still barely holding onto mental stability whenever he brings up his family. If you go into this series thinking every conflict has a resolution or closure of some kind I have bad news for you lol it's safe to assume when he went home, there was a rough adjustment period reclaiming his place in the house since Peg took on so much responsibility by herself but we don't really know what happened after everyone went home.

My next example is from Bless You, Hawkeye and I always rag on this episode with my friends but the scene between him and Sidney physically shook me. Everybody probably talks about That One Scene with Hawkeye and Sidney from GFA so I'll refrain from using it as an example here, I think this one is more appropriate for the point I'm trying to make anyways.

Hawkeye has never been mature. At all. His entire character is built on being obnoxious and causing trouble. Unlike BJ, he will share nearly anything about him when asked. Except when it's serious.

In comes everyone's favorite coping mechanism, ✨ unconscious repression! ✨

Again, a part of his character that got used again in GFA, whenever something upsets him in a way he can't manage, he buries it. He rewrites the memory into something happy or positive. So when a wounded soldier soaked in dirty water smelling of mold and musty clothing triggered a psychosomatic response, nobody knew why.

Processing scenes like this is something I remember so vividly from my first watch. Seeing all the pieces fall into place until that sinking feeling fills you is something this show is so good at.

Hawkeye starts talking to Sidney about something from his childhood; being out on a lake with his cousin Billy when he was seven. He claims Billy saved his life by pulling him out of the water but the more he talks, the more his story changes. It gets to a point where even he realizes he wasn't saved. He was pushed. Billy had to have been around 13 at the time, old enough to know how mean pulling something like that is. The way he admits it is when the gravity really sank in for me. His voice breaks, he starts loudly and violently sobbing like a scared child, he's probably been holding in this breakdown for 20ish years. In any other show, I could see them trying to play this for laughs. Oh Hawkeye, you shouldn't be so upset by a silly prank from when you were a kid! Look at this grown man break down! What a baby! But they don't treat it like that. It's treated completely seriously, it's allowed to play out and he slowly works through grief for someone he idolized in his childhood, anger, and acknowledgement. It was a permanent scar that wasn't allowed to heal.

This wasn't the first time in the series Hawkeye has cried but it was the first time he truly let it out. Every other time he knew he'd have to pick himself up, dust himself off, and keep going. I'm not certain if he properly processed anything he went through in Korea because he kept (pardon my language here) drowning himself in alcohol and burying himself in work and antics. So his eventual breakdown just. Getting it all out in one gutteral, primal cry, borderline screaming was cathartic for both him as a character and myself personally. Very rarely do I ever get a moment to have an emotional release like this so I also bury myself further into my job and hobbies until I can't feel what's bothering me anymore. His man's father better have booked him therapy when he got home because I know for damn sure this jackass won't do it himself

Overall, I'll say it again, the actors in this show are insane. None of the emotions felt cheap and the way the characters are written feels accurate to how most people approached the horrors of war and the mental health crises that followed. I'm so happy this show exists. I'm a little disappointed in myself that it's taken me this long to give it a chance but I love it nonetheless. I'll make a post about the characters specifically sometime like I said I would, I just want to make sure I do everyone justice and I'm not just repeating what everyone already knows. I want to add to this wonderful community that I'm happy to see is still active on this app/site and I hope you all enjoy my ramblings lmao there is more where this came from

#mash 4077 #mash #character analysis #technically even though im going to do an actual dedication analysis for both of them #idk how else to tag this #i just like watching people cry i think /hj?#im ill about this show #this is probably really dumb but im gonna post it anyway

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zaevauhm · 2 years ago

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Barcelona 4/4

word count 8.5k

this is the last chapter, mentions of anxiety + depression + sex + probably some other stuff

Tears started to roll down your cheeks, as Lewis crossed the finish line and the fireworks started, bringing home his 8th World Championship. The overwhelming emotions you were feeling had literally brought you to kneel down, covering your face in your hands, as your best friend kneeled next to you, keeping an arm around you and lightly stroking your lower back. You were overcome with pure happiness, the joy that you were sharing in Lewis’ victory was something that would be impossible to ever forget. It was so surreal, the way in which this unforgettable season had finally come to an end.

It was the toughest year you had known, and it had absolutely drained you of all of your energy. The number of flights, sleepless nights, tiring days, most of which you had spent by your boyfriends’ side. People had seen you before, waiting for him mainly by yourself, or with the few Mercedes engineers you had developed quite the friendship with. Something that shocked you, being the introvert that you were and all. The only negative was that people probably assumed that your relationship was simply one of his many short-lasting flings.

This night had made it all worth it. Lewis was your champion. He truly was the greatest that the sport had ever witnessed, he was yours, and now everyone would know it.

You felt Layla moving away from you, giving you some space, and you immediately knew what was going to happen next. Two big, strong arms lifting you up from the ground, until you found your face deeply buried in your boyfriends’ shoulder, as his arms quickly wrapped around you, making you feel warm inside. You couldn’t see his face, as he was still in his helmet and racing suit. You didn’t have to. The two of you had grown so in-tune with each other’s emotions, that even conversation wasn’t necessary at times. You felt him thanking you a million times as he held you closer to him than ever. You would never be able to explain to anybody what it felt like. No matter what was happening around you, no matter what kind of craziness would be going on, as long as Lewis was near you, you were safe and sound. You were shielded, guarded, protected from everything. ‘’It’s all for you, my love’’ he whispered, barely hearable, but you noticed.

‘’I love you so much, baby.’’ He spoke in between kisses, as the two of you messily tried to enter your hotel room in Abu Dhabi.

‘’Let me at least open the door, silly.’’ You laughed, trying to push Lewis off of you, as he settled behind you, keeping his arms around your waist and placing gentle kisses on your neck. You knew better, it would always be a futile attempt. He never was good at waiting, especially not for you. Once you managed to get the door open, he grabbed you, holding you in his arms as he muffed your giggles by pressing a soft kiss on your lips, meanwhile shutting the door behind him. He had just put you to bed, placing soft, loving kisses all over your body, when you noticed his phone wouldn’t stop ringing. ‘’Go answer it, baby. It’s probably your parents.’’ You spoke.

‘’They can wait.’’ He said, as his phone immediately rang again, making him let out a little sigh. You smiled at him, knowing he really doesn’t want to go and answer it. ‘’Don’t think I’m done with you.’’ He teases as he grabs your face with both his hands, leaving a quick kiss on your lips.

You smiled at Lewis’ back as he walked over to his phone, before uou made your way to the balcony, as you heard the sound of your boyfriend talking to his family fading in the background. All of a sudden, you noticed you were in desperate need for fresh air. Oh no…Here we go again. The anxiety had started to kick in, you had noticed as your muscles were slowly starting to tense up and your breathing had started to feel painfully sharp. Not now… please, was all that was repeating in your head. The same, never fully disappearing lump in your throat had made its’ appearance again.

Letting yourself sink in the comfortable chair under the humid UAE air, as you started to recollect on the last year, trying to steer your thoughts elsewhere. Ever since Barcelona, your life had changed completely. You tried to keep living your life as you knew it as much as possible, but it was pointless. Lewis basically kidnapped you all the time, making him join his races, his events, his duties. Wherever he had to be, he wanted you there by his side. Luckily for you, he never left your side. Never left you by yourself, always being the one to speak for you, always removing any pressure or nervousness from you.

Still, it was only when the calendar hit Interlagos, and your boyfriend took you with him to Brazil, that he couldn’t bear being without you at all anymore. Not even for a couple of weeks. You remember the memory of that weekend as clear as anything. The way you celebrated another one of his insane wins, the way you, for the first time had believed that he had truly fallen for you. It was the first time Lewis had told you he loved you, the first time the two of you had actually made love instead of fucking. You smile softly at the memory, no matter how many times you would re-visit it, it still warmed your heart the same. Brazil would always hold a special place in your heart. It’s where your love really evolved to something else, something that you shared privately between the two of you. You felt the lump in your throat sting even harder. Despite everything, your disease was an ever-lasting nightmare, that Lewis was fully aware of at this point. It had nothing to do with him, and everything with the broken life you had led before meeting him, that somehow never wanted to fully heal.

‘’Baby?’’ He almost whispered, not wanting to startle you. He stood behind you, placing his phone on the little side table, before making his way to you. Slowly he wrapped his arms around you, placing a soft kiss on the back of your head. You smiled, leaning against his arm, as a sign of gratitude. He knew you so well by now, always putting his own desires to the side, giving you exactly what you would need.

‘’I love you.’’ You whispered into the air in front of you, as you felt the anxiety stinging in your face, and the tears that were starting to form in your eyes.

‘’I know, baby. I know you love me.’’ Lewis sighed into the night sky. ‘’I love you more.’’

‘’Will you tell me what’s going on in that beautiful mind?’’ he continued, making you smile a little through your tears.

‘’I think I know why I’m feeling anxious tonight.’’

‘’Tell me.’’ Lewis spoke, with a slightly worried tone in his voice. Lewis moved to kneel in front of you and was now wiping one of your tears away with his thumb.

‘’I’m scared.’’ You started. ‘’I don’t know what I did to deserve you… And I’m afraid of the consequences…’’ ‘’Which consequences?’’ Lewis interrupted you. There you felt it again, the thought of leaving Lewis’ side. That awful, piercing pain as if someone had stabbed you into the core of your heart, slowly turning the knife, making you lightly nauseous at the spot.

‘’Look at us... You’re an 8th time world champion today, and you’ve got a girlfriend that’s crying over some stupid shit that’s not even relevant. You deserve someo…’’ ‘’Stop, please.’’ He interrupted you again.

‘’I’m just scared I won’t be able to deal with the pain of parting from you.’’ It was out before you knew it. It just spilled. He looked up at you with slightly furrowed brows, you noticed how he was trying to hide his slowly building up anger. ‘’Are you leaving me?’’ he asked. You could hear his voice cracking. He was usually good at hiding it, but not tonight. It made you feel even worse. ‘’Never.’’ You looked at him, tears rolling down your cheeks, exposing your tired face to him. ‘’I wouldn’t dream of leaving you, Lewis.’’

‘’You’re still unsure about my feelings for you?’’ he asked. You noticed your words were upsetting him. He had just exposed you, even after winning a race like this, you were the first person to get his attention, in front of the whole world to see. Where was he getting the patience from to deal with you and your crumbling mental health?

‘’No, it’s just… it’s this fucking anxiety, it ruins everything. Every beautiful thing and…’’ you cried, trying not to look into the worried eyes of your love.

‘’I won’t let it.’’ He said firmly. ‘’Do you hear me, Y/N?’’ You sighed through your tears, furrowing your brows, still not making eye contact with Lewis, as you let out a sad whimper. He took your hands in his, and moved closer to you, leaving you to lean closer into him, until your foreheads touch. ‘’It’s not going to, even if it feels like it is. As long as you’re here, I’m never leaving you.’’ He spoke, reassuring you. He didn’t know how to give up on you, this world champion of yours. ‘’If you can’t find the strength in yourself, you’ll find it in me.’’ You couldn’t do anything but stare at him, practically going numb before his eyes.

‘’You’re not alone anymore, you have to start to let me in, slowly.’’ He continued. ‘’Anything that you need, find it in me. I’ll fight for you, speak for you, you know I’d go to the ends of the earth for you.’’

‘’Most of all, Y/N…’’ he continues, sighing. ‘’I’m never going to let anything bad happen to you. You’re with me now, where you belong, no matter what your anxiety tells you.’’

‘’I know, my love.’’ You said, putting your trust in every word your boyfriend was telling you. Slowly coming to terms with the fact that he might just be right, you really didn’t have to fight all of your battles by yourself.

‘’Let me take you out of here, for a while. It will do you good.’’ Lewis said. You agreed, getting up and walking over to the bathroom, where you started to fix your appearance. You changed into a black oversized blouse dress, and let your hair fall down loosely, in its’ natural waves. Quickly you fixed your concealer and removing the smeared mascara that was covering your cheeks. Coming out of the bathroom to grab your small black purse, you noticed Lewis’ focus was nowhere near you, but on his phone. Typing quickly, furrowed brows. ‘’I’m ready.’’ You said, making him look up at you immediately. ‘’I’m so lucky, my god.’’ He spoke. ‘’Look at you.’’

His praise made you chuckle softly, as you made your way towards him, to give him a small kiss on his cheek. ‘’Thank you, my love. Shall we go?’’ you asked, as Lewis grabbed his car keys and opened the hotel rooms’ door for you.

You walked beside him, hand locked in his, as he guided you, down into the hotels’ parking garage. When he didn’t immediately open the passenger seats’ door for you, like he would always do, you couldn’t help but look over at him. He was standing at the drivers’ side of his car, holding the door open for you, and you couldn’t help but laugh at him a little. ‘’I want to see you drive.’’ He said, gesturing for you to get behind the wheel.

‘’Are you sure?’’ you asked, not moving from where you stood. Knowing you’re a perfect driver, with absolutely nothing to worry about, you still got a little nervous to drive for him. He was a man who you knew did not enjoy sitting in the passenger seat, at all.

‘’Yes, come here baby.’’

You got in, quickly fixed the rear mirror and put your seatbelt on, as Lewis lowered himself in the passenger seat. He was surprised at how fast you made yourself feel at home in a car you couldn’t have ever dreamt of driving before. It made his heart jump a little, seeing you so comfortably sharing in his pleasures. He got used to seeing you in his clothes, in his jackets, but driving him around was something different. You got out of the hotels parking, into the wide, open streets of Abu Dhabi. The car truly felt like water, the way it comfortably took you from one traffic light to the other, leaving Lewis completely mesmerized by the sight of seeing you drive for him for the first time.

Without really noticing it, your anxious feelings were slowly fading, as you focused on the song Lewis had played for you.

This terrible predicament you got me in Spelling your name in my mind Adding your last to mine Feels like we're stuck in time

You looked to your side, meeting the eyes of your boyfriend, who was looking at you as if you were the most captivating thing in his world. ‘’You’re so sexy like this.’’ He taught out loud. You smiled back at him, softly leaning your head back against his car seat.

Waking up to you Is all I want to do Every moment spent Play it all over again, mhmm

‘’It suits you.’’ He smiled. ‘’What does?’’ you asked, focusing on the road again, as the traffic light jumped to green.

‘’Driving a Mercedes.’’

You couldn’t help but smile. ‘’I am already driving one, remember?’’

‘’I know, I’m talking about this particular one.’’

‘’Yeah, I might steal her from you, don’t worry about it.’’ You joked.

City lights and beautiful sights were passing by you quickly, as you were speeding a little, Lewis keeping your right hand into his, gently squeezing it. After a while, Lewis noticed you were loosened up, and that your mind was no longer occupied by the same thoughts as an hour ago. You parked back at the same spot, turning the engine of the car off and handing Lewis his keys. ‘’Thank you for this.’’ You whispered into his mouth, before gently placing a kiss on his lips.

Lewis was right. The drive had done you more good than bad, and above all, you had actually gotten sleepy by now. Back in your hotel room, you made your way into the bathroom, quickly finishing your nightly routine, before grabbing one of Lewis’ shirts to sleep in. It was his favorite thing, having you steal his clothing pieces and leaving your scent in them. You heard him talking on the phone again, wondering who got his attention now, as it was close to 1 AM. You didn’t ask though; you were too tired to be bothered at this point. You slowly laid down in the bed, leaving Lewis talking to someone hastily. He came over to you, placed a kiss on your cheek as he wished you a good night, covering the speaker of his phone with his hand. ‘’Are you going out?’’ you mumbled, already halfway into your dreamworld. ‘’No, silly. I just have to finish some things, then I’ll join you.’’ He told you, while sitting next to you on the bed. ‘’I’m not going anywhere.’’ Was the last thing you heard before drifting into sleep completely. If only you knew what Lewis really meant.

You woke up by yourself in the big bed, to the sound of suitcases zipping up and footsteps softly moving in and out of the bathroom. ‘’What’s going on?’’ you mumbled into your pillow, arms slowly stretching from under the blanket that was barely covering you. ‘’Good morning to you too’’ Lewis chuckled.

You still weren’t used to the fact that your boyfriends’ days started around 6 AM, while you easily slept for 3-4 hours more. He never tried to change your morning routines, always leaving you to get fully rested, to take in all of the sleep you basically could.

‘’I’ve packed for you; we have to leave soon.’’ He spoke as he came sitting down at your bed side, admiring your bed hair and make-up less face.

You were suddenly aware of the fact that another racing season had ended, and that you haven’t spoken at all about your plans during the break. ‘’Are you sending me home?’’ You mumbled, unable to hide the sad tone in your voice. Home is with me now; Lewis almost spoke out loud. But he managed to keep his thoughts to himself. ‘’No, my love.’’

‘’I am taking you back to Brazil.’’ He smiled at your sleepy face. You smiled in your still very sleepy state, and slowly started to sit up straight, to take a sip of the water that was placed on your nightstand. This was going to be fun.

An hour later, you were sat in a private plane, across from Layla who had apparently grown more and more fond of her RedBull boyfriend, Daniel, who had joined the three of you. You hadn’t expected it, she usually doesn’t linger around the same person for too long, so she must have really liked him. ‘’I can’t believe we’re going back to Brazil.’’ She spoke happily, while you were distracted, checking your socials. So many photos of the two of you were spreading since last night, it was impossible to miss. You couldn’t help but read some of the comments but were satisfied to see that there was barely anything negative about you to read. People just knew nothing about you, as there was barely any information out about you. You and Layla both had closed Instagram accounts, which had made it even more difficult to make up assumptions. Still, there was a lot of speculation about who was the girl that had finally changed the relationship status of Hamilton. Up until you came around, he was the only single driver left on the grid, after all.

You looked back, to see Lewis and Daniel chatting, having some drinks together and laughing, all of a sudden even toasting loudly something you couldn’t quite hear, Lewis receiving pats on the shoulder from Daniel. You noticed Layla winking at Daniel, as well as sending him a smirky smile. Why did it feel like you were left out all of a sudden? You couldn’t help but wonder but didn’t want to show it at all. You just took your earphones out of your purse, as you scrolled through your Spotify library, looking for a song that would meet your mood. The whole flight, Lewis barely paid attention to you. Not that you really mind, you did love your private time and to be left with your thoughts for a while, still not completely sure what was happening, or what was going on in his mind, though. You leaned back onto the soft chair and covered yourself with a blanket and felt yourself drifting into sleep not long after. Only waking up a few hours later, as you almost arrived. Your focus drifted elsewhere, listening to the song that was playing in your ears.

Girl, I want you like you want me too I feel that energy (ooh, yeah) When you're on top of me (oh, yeah) I know your man, he ain't controllin' you But you still hesitate (ooh, no) 'Cause you chose loyalty (oh, yeah) And I know your history, met him before your peak (hey, hey) He's so connected to that woman that you used to be But-but-but this sex will cloud your memory A couple strokes to put it in, then you'll belong to me

Before long, you arrived at the gorgeous apartment that the four of you would share, overlooking what had soon became your favorite beach in the world. The heat and the sunny air of Ipanema filled your body with goosebumps, as you leaned over the balcony, soaking in the sunlight. Brazil was absolutely your favorite place to escape to. The vibe over there was insane, and the people even more so. Here you felt like you could be yourself, nobody cared about who you were or who your boyfriend was. It was the perfect getaway after spending so much time avoiding the media who were constantly trying their absolute best to discover just about anything about you.

Lewis and Daniel had left the two of you to unpack, unwind and spend some girl time together. You needed it, you would have probably asked for it, but somehow the fact that Lewis was the one who proposed it, had left you with a little bit of resentment towards him. Wasn’t it his idea to take you here? Wasn’t he supposed to make more effort to spend more time with you? Where did he disappear to, even? And why is Layla not caring about where Daniel hangs out at all?

‘’What’s wrong?’’ your best friend asked, sitting on the bed, unpacking some makeup bags. ‘’Nothing, why do you ask?’’

‘’You seem a little more quiet than usual.’’

‘’I’m not, at least I don’t want to be.’’ You began, walking towards her, leaning against the wall across from the bed. Layla knew you too well, you couldn’t hide your feelings from her at all. ‘’I’m still worried that Lewis isn’t really in love with me. It’s not that I don’t believe him, I just can’t seem to shake my thoughts. That he might just be staying with me out of pity.’’ You said, already expecting a bomb to drop on your head, curtesy of Layla. Much to your surprise, that didn’t happen. Layla had stayed calm, even looked away from you for a couple of seconds.

‘’You agree.’’ You said with a low, numb voice.

‘’I really don’t, babe. Lewis loves you, please don’t doubt that.’’

You had decided to spend the rest of the day without letting any negative thoughts interrupt you. The race season had ended, your boyfriend had won, you were in Rio de Janeiro with 3 people you adored. What more could you possibly want? It was probably just your anxiety making you seeing things that weren’t there, anyways.

Layla and yourself had gone out to get some groceries from the local market, planning to cook for yourselves and your boyfriends. Even if dating Lewis meant you basically never had to do anything yourself anymore, taking care of your loved ones was something you had learned during your relationship, and you didn’t want to give it up. Not completely, at least.

Two hours later, as the sun started to set in Rio, you found yourself in the kitchen, washing the dishes that you had used while preparing food. Layla was preparing the table, as music was playing from the living area. The big sliding door to the outside patio was wide open, a soft summer breeze flowing through the apartment. ‘’Hi ladies’’ you heard Lewis’ voice fill up the kitchen, a few seconds before his big hands were placed on your sides, making you giggle as your boyfriend kissed your cheek. ‘’There’s my girl’’ He whispered, before softly licking the skin beneath your ear, as he squeezed both your sides, now pressing himself against you from behind. ‘’Have you missed me?’’ He groans as he tightens his grip, making you feel nothing but his hands. ‘’Yes baby…’’ you whispered, as you slightly turned your head towards him, making you lean on his chest and looking up to him through your long lashes. Lewis moved to the side, making sure no one could see what he was doing. He had placed his hand on your inner thigh, on top of the flared, tight pants you were wearing. Slowly he moved up, the side of his hand stroking you between your legs, already making them feel weak. ‘’I can’t wait to be inside of you tonight, baby’’ He breathed into your ear, as his hand had now expertly grabbed a big chunk of your hair, pulling it even closer onto his chest. You let out a small whimper, as you hopelessly tried to stop your eyes from rolling to the back of your head. He loved it when you didn’t care about your surroundings, completely giving in to him, as he quickly looked up to see a still empty kitchen. His words and strokes on your body made you drop the plate you were squeezing, splashes of water ending up on your exposed front, releasing you from Lewis’ grip.

‘’Sit down baby, dinner’s ready.’’ You giggled.

What you thought was going to be a dinner for four, had soon ended up being a dinner for ten. Apparently, some of Lewis’ friends were spending the first few days of the break in Brazil as well, joining you last minute at the apartment. You greeted them politely, unsure of what type of ‘’friends’’ these were. You figured it was better to play it safe. Everyone that came through the door had brought some sort of food or drinks, and before you knew it, you were sitting next to your boyfriend, truly enjoying the company. Cold beers, good music, and the company, well, let’s say, were all easy on the eyes. The same people that you had played it safe with, were now making both you and Layla basically tear up with their jokes. You got up at a certain point to grab you and Daniel new drinks, as you noticed a girl entering the apartment, Lewis’ offering her your chair, to take it to sit next to her boyfriend, Nicolas. You chuckled in yourself, knowing damn well what his intentions were. You walked back to the table, and were stopped by her getting up, making her way to you. You could tell she was nervous to speak to you.

‘’Hi…Uhm, I hope you don’t mind that I came to join you guys’’, as she gave you a resilient hug. You hugged her back, keeping the two cold bottles in your other hand. ‘’Of course, you’re welcome, I am Y/N’’ you spoke as you gave her a warm smile. ‘’Sophie‘’ the brunette spoke, giving you a thankful smile, before sitting down in between Nicolas and Layla. Looking back at Lewis, he looked down to his lap, strictly gesturing you to sit down on your new seat.

Lewis grabbed your thighs, lowering you down onto him. Something that made you realize just how impatient he was getting. You sat down, immediately feeling how hard he was underneath you, as he continued chatting like nothing was wrong.

‘’So, you guys have made any plans yet?’’ Nicolas spoke. ‘’Giving this one some well-deserved attention’’ Daniel said, while holding Layla’s hand above the table, winning a smile from her side. ‘’We haven’t really thought of it, honestly. We just want to relax.’’ Layla added.

While hearing the plans of the other couples, Lewis was slowly playing with the zipper of your pants underneath the table. Down… and up again, teasing you. Your two legs were now spread, with his left, muscled thigh in the middle. You wanted him so badly, all you could think of was him fucking you like only he could, but you wouldn’t give in this easily. You had shot him a quick glimpse, minimally curving your back to be able to look back at him. Trying your best to maintain yourself, while the way he was sitting was probably enough to make you drip down your thighs. His legs were spread, his white shirt unbuttoned at the top, exposing the ‘’N’’ of his compass tattoo. His sleeves were rolled up, exposing his glowing skin. He leaned back onto his chair, pulling you against him tightly, as he moved the chair further under the table. Nobody was able to see below your middle now. He effortlessly moved you to his middle, before moving your zipper all the way down, and without warning, slipping two fingers into your string, tapping on your entrance lightly. You let out a small smirk, much to his displease, and continued to take a sip from your drink, acting as unaffected by your boyfriends’ actions as you possibly could.

‘’Don’t make me push further.’’ He whispered into your ear. ‘’I’d like to see you try, baby…’’ you taunted him. The next thing you felt were two of his fingers, entering you with such force it made you move up from Lewis’ lap, his reflex immediately holding you down in his firm grip, with his other hand on your thigh. You couldn’t help but let out a suppressed moan.

‘’What was that?’’ he whispered, clear anger in his voice.

You swallowed, still trying to ignore his efforts.

‘’Look what we have here’’ he goes, as he noticed how quickly he had you covering the palm of his hand with your juices. ‘’Baby… Why are you so wet?’’

You tried to keep your focus on the table, in case anyone would start asking you questions, or involving you into their chatter. But it was no use, Lewis had other plans with you, and you had no choice but to give in to him. He wanted you to completely be under his control, even if you were seated on his lap in front of a dozen of his friends. Seeing you squirm and having to really focus on not making any sounds, was making him painfully hard for you.

You eased up into his lap, allowing his fingers deeper inside of you, as he slowly started to fuck you with them.

‘’That’s it, baby, relax for me.’’ You noticed him whispering beneath his breath. His face was still crooked in your neck, mouth close to your ear. ‘’Isn’t that much better?’’

You moved up a little, swallowing a gasp as you felt his index finger on your clit. He started moving his fingers at a pace that you knew was going to make you actually orgasm right then and there. How the hell were you going to hide it now? Your body started to shake lightly, Lewis’ right arm holding you down tighter. ‘’Easy, baby, we can’t get caught now, can we?’’ He whispered devilishly as you looked up at the table, worried about the half horny, half worried expression on your face.

Layla was making fast friends with Sophie, as Nicolas and Daniel were deeply in conversation with the other boys about some car stuff and his job at RedBull. Nobody paid attention to the two of you. ‘’It’s just you and me, baby. Don’t worry.’’ he whispered, feeling you tense up again.

You wanted nothing more than for Lewis to fuck you, to do with you as he pleased. The memories of your many wild nights had made you slowly rock your hips in the same movements as his fingers. Lewis moved his other hand up your arm, as if he was going to stroke it, but continued to move towards the back of your neck, squeezing it lightly. ‘’That’s more like it.’’ he continues to breathe into your neck. You moved your hands under the table, trying to find something to squeeze in, anything. Lewis let out a soft chuckle when the only thing you could find was his leg. He was working you in a way that only he could, his unforgiving pace was pushing you closer and closer to your high quickly now. ‘’Lewis…I…’’ you gasped. ‘’Stop…please I can’t hold it anymore.’’ You were almost crying it out at this point. ‘’Are you going to displease me?’’ he groaned.

‘’No…I don’t want to…’’

His fingers fucked you even harder, making it entirely impossible for you to speak any more, or think straight, for that matter. ‘’Cum for me, now.’’ He ordered.

That was all you needed to hear, his words basically pushing you over the edge, making you drip all over his hand. ‘’That’s it…that’s a good girl…’’ he whispered, as he slowly kept moving his fingers inside of you, until he was sure you had enjoyed your high as much as possible. After a minute, he zipped your pants back up, and wrapped his two arms around your shocking body, helping you come down from your high. ‘’I got you baby.’’ He whispered as you slowly came back to reality.

A few guests had left during the evening, while some new faces were entering. The vibe in the apartment was amazing. Everyone got along well, mingles and laughs were filling the rooms as Lewis came up to you to remind you of the party all of you would attend, tonight.

‘’I’ll go get ready, babe.’’ You said, as you dried off the last plate from the sink, putting it away in a cabin above your head.

You pouted lightly in the mirror, concentrating on applying a nude shade of lipliner. It was only when you had put down the pencil, that you noticed in the mirror that your boyfriend was now leaned against the wall behind you. Licking his lips slowly, as he let his eyes move all over you. The black mini dress that you were wearing was suddenly feeling a lot tighter, as you tried your best to stay still, softly faltering on the black heels that were strapped on your feet. Your dress showing off your tanned body and figure perfectly, making it impossible for Lewis to take his eyes off of the girl that was standing in front of him. You had let your wavy, long hair falling down loosely, making it look like you hadn’t made such an effort. Even though you had showered and gotten ready, your mind couldn’t shake Lewis’ actions from earlier, still making you ache for him. You had to shake your thoughts, before they would soon leave you dripping down your thighs, exposing you.

Even after a year, having Lewis staring you down like that, still made you shiver. ‘’I see you’re planning on torturing me all night.’’ Lewis voice had started to fill the bathroom. You didn’t answer, trying to place his words. ‘’Don’t even try to imagine. You’ll see.’’ Lewis turned you towards him, and put you sitting in front of him, next to the bathroom sink. He grabbed your jaw, roughly pushing your head towards the mirror, before slowly letting his tongue slip into your mouth. You relaxed, gave into him. Allowed him to completely make a mess of your finished looks, as he finally gave you what you desired. ‘’Sweetie… You’re going to have to take me now.’’ He breathes. ‘’I can’t hold myself for another minute seeing you like this.’’

He pulled you onto him forcefully, making you meet the bulge in his jeans. ‘’This is what you do to me. This is how you torture me every single minute.’’ He said, pulling your hair down so you were forced to look up at him. ‘’Baby I…’’ you started. ‘’Hush now, that’s okay. I’m about to make you pay for it.’’ He shut you up completely. You couldn’t think straight after hearing his words, he had knowingly or not taken fully control over you. He took you by your hands, pulling you into the bedroom, sitting down on the couch, as you were standing in front of him. ‘’On your knees, sweetie.’’ He ordered. He had your heart pounding in your throat by now. Whether he knew it or not, his soft, loving voice spilling such nasty words would always have completely weak for him. You kneeled in front of him, probably more eager than him to have him in your mouth. He leaned against the couch, spreading his legs in front of your hypnotized eyes. Before you knew it, no recollection of how you even undressed him, you took him in your mouth, slowly. Licking his base to tip, feeling yourself dripping as he moaned for you. You could never decide what was better, seeing him in pleasure because of you, or having him pleasuring you. It was crazy, how love drunk he had you for him. You took him back into your mouth, to the point of tears filling up your eyes. He pulled you up, pushing you down onto the bed, as he leaned over you. ‘’Look at you.’’ He goes. ‘’All under my control. I love you like this, when you don’t even try to think for yourself.’’

He moves his hand towards where your underwear is supposed to be, as you stopped him, making Lewis look up to you, furrowed brows and a face with anger written all over it. ‘’What is that?’’ he groaned. ‘’I…I don’t want your fingers.’’ You stumbled. Even when your boyfriend was in this animalistic mood of his, he never wanted to do you any harm. It was him thinking in your best interest, since common sense would be far gone for you. ‘’But you will struggle, baby.’’ Lewis smiled down at you, like he didn’t know he was about to demolish you. ‘’I want to… make me hurt, please.’’ You begged him. Lewis looked down at you again, for a few seconds. ‘’Please baby… I want to feel pain.’’ You cried. He knew you liked it rough at times, but he has never heard you beg for it before. He got up, leaving you going completely blank on the bed. You heard the sound of some metal tapping against his rings, raising your anticipation even more. The next thing you felt was his belt around your wrists, tightening up roughly. Lewis moved your arms above your head, leaving you exposed for him. ‘’No more running from it now.’’ He whispered, before positioning himself in front of you, thrusting himself into you at once. You gasped; he had never given you a stretch like this before. Lewis twitched inside of you, making him moan aggressively down on you. ‘’Fuck… baby… how are you this tight?’’

He stopped for a split second, catching his breath, before he grabbed your face tightly and licked into your mouth, letting a little bit of his saliva drip into you. You moaned, swallowing it directly. ‘’You’d do anything to please me, wouldn’t you?’’ he groans. ‘’Yes… I’d do anything.’’ You whimpered. Lewis started to move himself. In and out, making you cry as your body was tied up, unable to move under him. You couldn’t touch him, as much as you wanted to, he had you tied up so tightly it was for sure going to leave some markings on your wrists if you kept trying. He pulled out of you, flipping you over, and entered you again. You could barely keep yourself together at this point, painfully screaming as he filled you up again. ‘’Quiet now baby… you asked me to do this. Be a good little girl and take all of me.’’ Lewis leaned over your curved body, quickly releasing your wrists from the tight grip, as he folded the belt in his hands. You screamed, again as the belt hit your ass cheek, unable to keep your cries down. Whimpering in pain, whispering towards him softly ‘’more, please’’ you begged him, beneath your breath, as you lowered your head even more. Another slap hit your ass, making Lewis groan. ‘’I told you to stay quiet.’’ The anger in his voice making tears roll down your cheeks again.

He stopped, as a second later you gasped when the cold, silver material of his belt was held onto your face, stroking your cheeks slowly as Lewis kept himself still inside of you. It was evil, the way in which it was impossible for you to predict what he was going to do to you. ‘’Open wide.’’ His voice was cold, strict and calm. It had sent shivers onto your body. He smiled behind you as he placed the double folded belt into your mouth. ‘’How does that feel?’’ he moaned into your ear, making your walls squeeze him even more. ‘’That’s what I thought.’’ He pulled out a little, before giving you exactly what you wanted. You started to see stars, as he fucked you deeply, making sure you were feeling every single inch of him.

His pace was rough, unforgiving, and the most painful thing you had ever felt. Before long, you started to feel him not being able to hold back anymore. ‘’How about I fill you all up, baby?’’ Lewis moaned. ‘’I bet you would just love to be full of me, wouldn’t you, now?’’

You couldn’t speak, but your moans had done the work for you. You screamed, biting into the leather in your mouth as Lewis moved faster, a pace that you failed to understand how it was humanly possible. It was quite literally knocking all the sense out of you. Before long, you were feeling him coming undone deeply inside of you, immediately collapsing on top of you.

Your mind kept blank, as Lewis cleaned you, and tried hopelessly to get you to come back to him. It was no use; you were completely gone. He got dressed, leaving you laying down on the bed. After a while, he gently took you into his arms, and carried you to couch, placing you on his lap. Lewis looked down at your tired but satisfied face, the sight only fed his love for you. ‘’I love you baby; you can’t imagine just how much.’’

You let out a small smile, slowly coming back to reality. ‘’We might have a little problem here, though.’’ You looked up at him, slightly confused. ‘’We are so late.’’

‘’Everyone’s left already.’’ he giggled.

You had made your way to the party, that was held on a big terrace overlooking the beach. Hand locked in your dates’ as the two of you were greeting guests from the left and right. The night was long, you met a lot of new faces, your mood completely relaxed. The party was hosted by the same new friends you had made that joined the dinner at your apartment, the vibe ever improving as the night continued under the heat of the Brazilian climate. The mix of alcohol and the company of the man who you were completely head over heels for, had made the night truly one for the books. He looked gorgeous, his jewelry softly sparkling under the few lights that were barely lighting up anything.

The night had ended only around 4 in the morning, you were exhausted, passed out on the couch next to Layla, who was in the exact same state. Your heels were off, laying around messily somewhere along with your friends’. It took a while before you heard Lewis and Daniel coming back home, after dropping some of their friends off.

Your boyfriend kneeled by your side, playing softly with your hair. ‘’Let me take you to bed, hm?’’ he asked. You mumbled sleepily, as he took you in his arms, and carried you to your bedroom, softly lowering you down onto the cold sheets, waking you up a little. You tried to sit up, as a sharp pain in your stomach suddenly made you gasp, making Lewis rush to your side immediately. ‘’What is it, baby? What’s wrong?’’

‘’Nothing, I think’’ you said, clearly in pain, holding one hand on your lower stomach. ‘’I think my organs just aren’t used to being rearranged by a certain Brit.’’ You giggled, not wanting him to worry about you.

Lewis disappeared into the bathroom, coming back shortly after with some pain killers and a cold bottle of water. ‘’Let’s see if these will help, if they don’t, I’m taking you to the doctor first thing when you wake up.’’

‘’it’s just a little pain, don’t exaggerate so much please, babe. I’m fine.’’

You woke up a few hours later, while Lewis was out running, to an insanely nauseous feeling, as well as a pounding headache. Before you knew it, you were leaned over the toilet, feeling as if you were quite literally going to puke your whole stomach out. ‘’Y/N?’’ You heard Layla’s sleepy voice from afar, as she was entering your bedroom. ‘’Do you want to go get brea…’’

‘’Oh my god.’’ She gasped and stopped in her steps, as she saw you, pale faced in the bathroom, looking very small all of a sudden.

‘’It’s nothing, i’m fine.’’ You said as you flushed the toilet, turning around to lean against the bathroom wall.

‘’You don’t seem fine.’’ Layla said as she closed the bathroom door behind her and joined you on the floor. ‘’I’ve just been having these pains in my stomach…’’ you started.

‘’It’s been getting worse since last night, and Lewis noticed.’’

Layla looks up at you, worry building up in her expression. ‘’I’m surprised he didn’t drag you to the doctor immediately.’’

‘’Yeah, please don’t let him hear that.’’ You spoke, leaning your head back against the cold, refreshing tiles. Your best friend didn’t seem to like the way you were tilting your head at all.

‘’Nope, but I am taking you.’’ She said, as she pulled you up by your arm.

‘’Really Lay? I just woke up and I’m way too exhausted for this.’’ You sighed. ‘’Also, I think I might still be drunk.’’

‘’You really have been looking pale lately, and I’ve noticed you haven’t been eating well. ‘’Also, now this? Yes, I am taking you to the doctor, get dressed.’’ She said, as she disappeared into the living room.

Not long after, you were sat at a health clinic, waiting for the doctor in her office with Layla next to you, as if you were two teens again who were about to get expelled from school. You chuckle at the memory. Somehow it felt like nothing had changed at all. Your hair was up in a bun, you were messily sitting in your boyfriends’ black hoodie and sweats, with one leg up on the chair, leaning your head on your knee. ‘’Why is this taking so long?’’ Layla asked as she turned towards the door, running out of patience. ‘’I don’t know, do you have somewhere to be, anyways?’’ you teased her.

You heard the door behind you open, two doctors coming in with the results of your blood tests, looking at you quite displeased. One of them handed you a form, which didn’t check a lot of boxes, meaning you were fine. Except one. You looked down at the form, at one of the last boxes.

‘’Gravida.’’

You were pregnant.

Your head went completely blank, as Layla drove you back to the apartment, quiet as well. The fact that even Layla was quiet had you worrying like hell. You had no idea what to think. Was this a bad thing? Was it a good thing? You looked over at your friend, who wasn’t looking at you at all, slowly driving you past the many bars and restaurants that were slowly preparing to open up. It was terrible timing; Lewis was still at the prime of his career… and… No, fuck his career; what about him? Who says he even wants a child with you? You had only known each other for a year after all. You started to feel insanely anxious all of a sudden. How were you going to tell him? You couldn’t… it might ruin everything. This was way too much for you to handle. I’m so not ready… was the last thing that went through your mind. All you wanted to do was find Lewis, bury yourself deep in his arms and never get out.

‘’Lewis?’’ you spoke into the hallway, while walking towards your shared bedroom.

‘’In here, sweetie.’’

That gorgeous, kind accent of his had immediately made butterflies appearing in your stomach all over again. How could it not?

You found him sitting on the couch across from the bed, answering some emails, still in his workout clothes. He noticed you coming in, quietly sitting on the end of the bed.

‘’How are your pains?’’ Lewis looked up; a worried facial expression met you.

‘’Did you eat? Daniel said you and Layla were going to get some breakfast.’’

Seeing him had sparked something inside of you. This was your person, the love of your life. Why were you so nervous? He loves you; you know he does. Through the past year you had always found your courage in him, for anything. Why would this time be any different?

‘’No.’’ you said, looking out of the open doors that led to the balcony. Trying to find the courage to drop a complete bomb onto your boyfriends’ lap.

‘’Layla took me to the doctor.’’ You started, making Lewis get up from the couch.

‘’I don’t… I don’t know how…’’ you stumbled, nervously trying to make up the words. ‘’What is it, baby?’’ he asked. You looked into his eyes, searching for the last bit of strength you needed to spill the actual words.

‘’I’m pregnant.’’

Lewis eyes widened, not taking them off of you, before a small smile had started to appear on his cheeks. ‘’You’re pregnant?’’ he asks, almost desperately, as he kneeled down in front of you, tearing up at the realization. ‘’Yes, baby.’’ you smiled through your own tears.

A year later, back in London, you were laid back in a comfortable chair, in the corner of the nursery in your new-bought house, a soft lullaby was playing in the background.

Your baby girl was calmly sleeping in your arms, as you were staring at the sparkling diamond that was resting on your ring finger.

This life had taken turns you couldn’t have ever imagined. You had no clue that Lewis took you to Brazil to propose to you, one year deep into your relationship. You softly chuckled when you remembered the thoughts you were having about him losing interest in you, or not wanting to leave you out of pity. Lewis was going to be your husband, for life. He and your daughter had filled your life with so much love, you were practically drowning in it. It felt as if he took every broken piece of yourself and somehow managed to glue it all back together.

Your happy end was here, as your deepest wish had come true. You had gotten the dream you were dreaming, all this time. Lewis had become safe place. It was indescribable, being with him. Whenever he was around, you felt like you could do anything, anything at all. ‘’Impossible’’ was a word you quite literally removed from your vocabulary.

You looked down at your baby, who was now mumbling for her dadda in her sleep. You are so beautiful, you thought. Her plump lips, her small brown curls, her puffy cheeks. She was perfect, the way she resembled Lewis made you shed tears. ‘’Dadda will be home soon, baby.’’ You whispered, as you kissed her on her head, making her doze off, back into sleep.

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