#this scene was so good it would be such a field day if this episode was released on his own

[raggedy-spaceman]

s02e05 The Ball

I'm so happy season 2 ended here and nothing else happened whatsoever!

[thebestofoneshots]

Gilded Constellations | (wolfstar x reader)

Series Masterlist | Previous episode

Pairing: Wolfstar x Reader Word Count: 8.2 K Warnings: None Prompt: It's a snow day! This IS a Wolfstar x reader fic, but it's incredibly slow burn. They won't start all dating each other until we're very deep into the story, but I promise the long wait will be worth it. Proofread by lovely: @aremuslupinsimp

THIS CHAPTER CAN ALSO BE READ AS A ONESHOT

Chapter 35: Chill of Desire

Tuesday, December, 14th, 1976

“It’s snowing!” you heard Mary squeal, her excited tone waking you up instantly, and causing you to smile as you looked through the window. Mary had propped the window open and extended her hand as she stared outside.

It wasn’t only snowing then, in fact, it had been snowing all night, all the towers, the fields and the valley were covered by a thick layer of snow. The trees stood tall, their branches delicately coated, creating a magical-looking scene, more magical than Hogwarts already was, anyway. 

You had the view of the forest from your window, and you could see the Whomping Willow shaking off the layers of snow that had fallen over him at night, which made you smile, the memory of the devious night having been replaced by so many cuddles with the boys that the looking at the Willow was not as stressful as it had been at some point, you didn’t think of how Remus had gotten hurt by it, but rather you thought of how you had kissed Sirius under it. And how you might be going to meet Moony later that month, as Vixen this time around. 

The courtyards and pathways were like winding paths through a snowy maze, and the usually bustling grounds were hushed under the soft blanket of snow, you could see a few students outside enjoying the white fields –especially the younger ones– you still had hours before you had to get to class, you realised when you eyed the small cuckoo clock your mom had given you at the beginning of the year.  It wasn’t even time for you to go on your morning flight yet, but you thought perhaps it would be a good idea to skip flying in favour of playing in the snow, even if it was just for a day, you were sure you’d be able to convince James if you managed to recruit Remus and Sirius first. 

The world outside seemed to have taken a pause, wrapped in the serene beauty of winter, with barely a few students playing in the snow and trying to get from one spot of the castle to the other without making much noise. Of course, that wouldn’t last long, not as long as you could help it. You stood up and changed into something warm, putting on Remus’ sweater. You had taken the habit of wearing a lot more often since you wanted to test a theory that had cemented itself in your brain since the day of the Slytherin sweater incident. 

Once you were ready you turned to the girls “Come outside in like…” You pondered for a second, 5 minutes to wake up Sirius, another 5 for the two of you to convince Remus to join your shenanigans. Like 10 minutes to convince Prongs and about 4 for them all to get ready. Peter would be coming the minute you convinced Potter, so you didn’t worry much about that, “30 minutes,” you said, adding a few minutes to spare  “It’ll be fun.” 

“How fun?” Lily asked, a look of worry on her face that made you laugh. 

“It’s a snow day Lils, it’ll be brilliant, I promise!” you said with a smile plastered on your face as you put on a pair of boots and disappeared from their sight. Returning just a second later to take the invisibility cloak you had borrowed from James the previous night. You had it on a ball, and neither of the girls asked about it since they had assumed it was just a blanket you borrowed from Sirius or something. The minute you stepped out, you turned over a corner and put it on, walking straight towards the boy’s dormitories. 

Once outside their door you took a deep breath and leaned your ear close to the door, just wanting to make sure they were all still asleep. Which, as you predicted, they had been. You smiled and used your wand to open their door with a tweak on the classic “alohomora” that Remus has taught you. 

They had charmed their door, obviously, they had, but Remus –who often left his keys since he rushed in the mornings– had found a way around their own charm and taught it to you since you had been sneaking in to cuddle him and Padfoot, as Vixen of course. It hadn’t been every day, but you had all agreed that you’d have to do it a lot more often closer to the moon, to make sure the smell of the pack was well rubbed. 

You thought you already smelled like them enough, but neither of them seemed convinced. Or rather, neither of them wanted to stop cuddling each other, and you didn’t either. Padfoot was fluffy and Remus was always warm, which was especially nice on colder nights, the kind that were already much more common because of the time of the year you were in. And, sometimes, rather often, Sirius would turn back into himself and cuddle both you and Remus, only to turn back into Pads in the morning. If either Pete or James knew, they didn’t say a thing. Remus had always been asleep, or at least pretended, so neither you nor Sirius noticed, and you, who would lay half a top of Remus half a top of Sirius who had now learned exactly how to pet you, weren’t about to complain either. 

Once inside you looked at the boys and opened one of the windows with a swish of your wand, bringing a small blizzard inside the room and leaning in over Sirius’ bed, letting the snow fall slowly over his delicate features. He had his mouth slightly parted, and his hair sprawled all around him. He was the loveliest thing to look at; he looked like a princess, like Snow White, you thought, especially when a small snowflake got stuck on his thick black lashes. No wonder Prince Charming wanted to kiss the girl awake. You too felt tempted to kiss him.

“Sirius,” you whispered. 

He groaned, and you whispered his name again, giving in and giving him the kiss you wanted, a quick peck over one of his eyes, feeling how the snowflake over his lash melted away with the warmth of your mouth. He opened his eyes and looked at you, and then around, there was snow all over, coating you, himself and his bed as you leaned over him with a sneaky little smile on your face. The smile that oh so clearly stated, you were up to something. 

You were looking at him in such a way that he forced himself to clear his throat, trying to think of anything other than his morning discomfort. On days like this, he would get a shower and release himself of those thoughts, and something else. But clearly, that wasn’t an option at that particular moment, let alone with you leaning on top of him like that. You licked your lips and he almost cursed. 

“Sirius,” you said again “It’s snowing!” 

“I can tell Starshine,” he said as he picked a small snowflake that had gotten stuck in your hair, watching it dissolve in his fingers before he turned back to you. Well done, Sirius, she hasn’t noticed, he applauded for himself. 

You smiled and leaned in closer to him, his breath hitched in his throat, you had no fucking idea what you were doing to him. You leaned enough to whisper in his ear. “Help me convince Prongs to play in the snow instead of practice.” 

He almost frowned, turning to get a better look at you. “You’ve never had a snow day?” 

“I’ve had…” you said, “but never with you.” 

He sighed at your words but turned to you with a warm smile. “Fine, let’s go,” He said as he sat on the bed, still thinking of ways to get rid of his problem, his covers falling discreetly over it. If only there was a spell for that. 

“No, first we must convince Remus.” 

“Remus, why?” 

“If Remus is in, there’s no way Prongs will  say no, even if we’re skipping practice.” 

Sirius seemed to be processing what you said but nodded. “Go ahead, I’ll go change,” he said, motioning for you to move as he leaned over to find his shirt “bet he’ll like it if you wake him up with snow too,” he said with a devious smile and you rolled your eyes, giving him a soft peck in the mouth before walking over to Remus, bringing the small blizzard along with you. 

Had it been a few weeks ago, you might have been hesitant to do exactly what you were about to do, but you had climbed onto Remus’ bed so often in the past few days, either for cuddling as Vixen or just for chilling, that it was almost more natural than it was to climb onto your own. It was like climbing onto Sirius’ bed even, although, lately the two of you spend a lot more time on Remus’ bed than his own, because of the scent thing.

You leaned over and watched the small snowflakes fall over Remus’ face, he looked just as handsome as Sirius had. Or perhaps, the way to describe Sirius correctly would be ethereal, Remus was handsome. 

“Hey Rem,” you said softly, placing his hand over his shoulder. This time around, you decided to be softer, and more careful, not forgetting that one time he had pinned you on his bed. He stirred, brows furrowed lightly and nose almost imperceptibly scrunched up. 

“Sirius?”  he asked, not opening his eyes, you smelled like Sirius, and you and him. Your scents had been so mixed at this point, he just assumed it was Sirius since it would make more sense for it to be him, especially to be bothering him so early in the morning, not that he minded, not as long as it was him.

“Try again,” you said with a smile. 

Remus hummed content, “Little Witch.” 

You eyed him cautiously, his eyes were still closed and you leaned a little closer, shaking his shoulder lightly. Then he all but grabbed you by the waist and pushed you to him, Remus was still way too asleep to process what he was doing, and you fell over his torso as he tightened his grip. When Sirius walked out of the bathroom he spotted the two of you and thought it was the most adorable thing he’d seen, even if you had a small frown as you tried to fight your way out of the werewolf’s grip. But Remus was way too fucking strong. 

You huffed and turned to Sirius “Mind a little help?” you mouthed, he smirked in response. In seconds he turned into Padfoot and walked over to the two of you, leaning his head into yours for a second before jumping so his paws were on the bed and then, he leaned over and started licking Remus’ face. 

You barely managed to see Remus scrunch his face before he opened his eyes, looking rather startled. First, there was snow; second, Sirius had woken him by licking his fucking face; and third, you were laying horizontally across his torso, your head tilting slightly to the side with a rather amused expression, and he was holding you there. 

“What the fuck?” 

“You’re very grabby in the mornings,” Sirius said, now back in his human form and staring at Remus with his face laid over his crossed arms, which were leaning on the same spot Padfoot’s paws had been on, smile plastered on his lips.

 Fucking hell he looks adorable, Remus thought. 

And so did you, calmly lying there as you waited for him to loosen his grip. You didn’t mind waiting all that much either, Remus was comfortable. And then Sirius turned to you, placing one of his hands over your hair and letting it gently slide out, causing your head to turn towards the two of them in his action “Look at the poor thing, waiting there patiently for you to let her go Moony.”

You frowned, condescending. You were about to argue, but there was something about the way both boys looked at you that also made you want to shut up, as if you didn’t want to break whatever spell had been cast over the three. And it wasn’t the first time either. You blinked a couple of times. “Poor thing my ass,” you managed to say to Sirius, even if you let him play with your hair still. 

Remus almost reached to do the same, his hand twitched, but you didn’t notice, you had closed your eyes as Sirius continued to play with your hair. Looking rather content in the position. A small spark of rage came to Remus and he tightened his grip around you, only for a second until he realised that he was way out of line and let you go. You didn’t move, just enjoyed Sirius’ hand for a few more seconds and Remus wished he could be the one to make you feel like that. Eventually, you took a deep breath and opened your eyes again, biting your lip as you looked at Remus “It’s snowing.” 

He looked around and raised his eyebrows at you, his face clearly stating “no shit Sherlock”. 

“Starshine here wants to go play out there in the snow with us,” Sirius said. 

You were about to swat him for being so haughty with you, but you realised by the way the corner in his mouth lifted forward, he was just doing it to piss you off. You didn’t even realise the way Remus had gulped with how intensely you were glaring at Sirius. 

“Or we could just stay and cuddle,” you said with a sneaky little smile, you knew Sirius was already eager to go out there and play with the snow. Two people could play his little game. But both boys liked the idea just as much as the prospect of going out in the snow with you. 

“Let’s go,” Remus said as he patted you on the leg casually, a signal for you to get off him. If Sirius noticed his gesture, he didn’t seem to care much that he had done it, and you didn’t seem to notice either. It was almost as if the three of you had special concessions with each other that wouldn’t be allowed to many others. For example, Sirius would surely be pissed if you had been cuddling Tom, or even Peter, but with Remus, he didn’t seem to mind, heck he even encouraged it sometimes. Not that any of the three noticed these little things, but some people did. 

“Get changed,” You told Rem with a bit of a smile, “We’ll go wake James.” 

Remus nodded and both you and Sirius stood up. You walked over to James’ bed, and Sirius was about to jump over him to wake him up with a thud, but you stopped him, bringing in your small blizzard over his friend. Sirius smiled and took his wand out, making more snow come inside, and having relatively strong –and cold– winds blow over Prongs. 

Neither of you was being half as gentle as you had been with Remus, was it because you knew Moony’s short temper or… something else? Perhaps it was part of those special concessions you allowed one another. 

James started to shiver, pulling his covers higher up only for Sirius to slide them down again with a swish of your wand. Only then did you realise Prongs had been shirtless under the covers. You gasped silently at the sight, covering your mouth and staring. Prongs was fucking ripped, not as much as Remus but certainly ripped. You did not remember him being so fit back when you had been him.

Sirius nudged you with his shoulder when he noticed you were staring “Stop ogling him, will you?” he said slightly annoyed, he tried to hide it, and it slipped pass you. 

You shook your head, still amazed. “Do you have a camera? Lily should know.” 

Ah… so that’s why she’s staring at Prongs, fair enough, Sirius thought. He stared too, also thinking that while Prongs was ripped, Remus was much better. The snow became thicker around Prongs as Sirius’ thoughts focused on his other friend, the wind became even stronger, blowing on James’ hair, and making it even messier than usual. You were about to tell Sirius to hold back a little when James woke up, sitting on his bed fast and in panic. 

“Wakey-wakey Rudolf!” You said with a smile. 

Remus, who was just stepping out of the bedroom, looked at the two of you, wicked smiles on your faces while James stared, almost horrified, and he smiled. His two naughty little crushes. He wondered if you’d reach in to cuddle him and Sirius tonight, he wanted you to do it, he wanted you to do it really bad. 

“What in the bIoody–“ 

You were about to speak, but Sirius stole your line “It’s snowing!” 

“It’s freezing, that's what is!” he said as he pulled the covers, but you took them from him and dangled them in the air. 

“No-uh Prongs, it’s time to get up!” He gave you a reproachful look, “Come on! It’s a snow day, we must play in the snow a little before it melts away… and class starts.” 

The blizzard you and Sirius had caused was already dissipating, leaving the beds of the boys, and their floor, just a little slippery. But James peered to the window. “I highly doubt the snow’s gonna melt away anytime soon, luv… Besides, what about flying?” 

“No flying today mate,” Remus intervened from behind the two, gently placing his hands on both yours and Sirius’ shoulders, “It’s snow day, and the first one of the season.” 

“But…” 

You sighed. “Lily will be there,” you added. 

James’ eyes pretty much beamed after you said that and he ran up to his trunk, throwing a pillow towards Peter’s bed who woke up completely confused, “Why am I being attacked?” he asked with a frown. 

“It’s a snow day Pete, we’re all coming out to play!” You said excitedly, Peter blinked as if wondering why the hell you were in his room before remembering you had been over more often than not lately, and because of his idea, that is.

“Morning Vix,” he said politely. “Fancy seeing you here,” he added as a joke.

“Oh.. piss off and change before you start teasing us all over again,” Sirius responded.

And he had been teasing you rather often. Since you started cuddling Remus together, he wouldn’t stop with the canine jokes. Either Puppy cuddles, lovable howlers, or whatever the hell came into his mind at that moment. He found it hilarious that the three of you were so close and that the three of you were a variant of the canine family. Something about being meant to be or whatever. 

Peter just snickered and walked into the bathroom with clothes in hand, James didn’t even care, he straight up turned around and took off his pants right there in front of you, which had Sirius pull you to look at him and Remus cover your eyes with his hands. You laughed at their silly reactions. “Yo, Rem, when I said I would let you blindfold me, I didn’t think you’d actually go through with it.” 

“Sly little fox, promising things without meaning them, are we?” He teased. 

You laughed again, letting your head shake. Remus was eyeing Sirius then, and Sirius returned the stare, the two of them stayed like that, almost frozen as they looked at each other, your laughter almost fading into the background as Sirius turned his gaze towards Remus’ diverted smile. Remus has a pretty smile, pretty like Starshine’s, he thought. 

“Is he done?” You asked, pulling on Moony’s hand to try and see a little bit better. That broke their trance and the two of them turned back to look at you, Sirius’ eyes flickering to your lips for a second, thinking he might actually be going insane. 

“Yeah, I’m done,” James said as he leaned over and placed an arm around your shoulders. “Why are we hogging Vixen?” 

“She came to wake us up with a fucking snowfall, now she must suffer,” Remus said as if it were the most natural thing. You nudged him lightly, about to say something when Peter stepped out, several layers of sweaters over him. 

You smiled “You get cold easy, Wormy?” 

“He’s got no tolerance,” James said, “and he always forgets the warming spell.”

“I could help you with it,” you offered.

“Thanks,” he said with a genuine smile, “but I’ve come prepared,” he added as he pulled a small piece of parchment from the pocket of his coat, showing it off in between his index and ring finger. “Annie gave it to me and charmed it so I wouldn’t lose it,” he explained, “It always reappears in my pockets now.” 

“What? That’s brilliant!” you said reaching for the parchment and taking it from Peter’s hand for a second, looking at the symbols in the back. Remus approached you from behind to take a look.

 “It’s complicated magic,” he said. 

“It looks like an altered version of Homunculus,” Sirius said, he too had approached you and stared at the back of the small paper. 

“Mixed with a clinging spell and a respawn one,” you added perplexed, “It’s incredible…” you said breathily, disbelief lacing your tone.

“Indeed.” Peter proudly raised his head. “Annie is insanely clever.” 

You smiled and gave the paper back to him, before frowning and turning to the boys. “Do you guys think the Homunculus charm could help with the map?” you asked with a frown. 

Remus bit his lip as he thought about it and then turned to you, “Vixen, that’s it! If we take the homunculus cham and somehow connect it to Hogwarts Magic–” 

“And then bind it to the core of the map then… we could have absolutely every single student, teacher and visitor to the castle tagged at once!” 

Remus nodded, “No more sneaking charms in their robes and backpacks! Fucking hell, we’ve cracked it!” 

You and Remus were staring at each other with such sheer excitement over it, so hyped up that the boy almost reached out to kiss you, managing to stop, and clenched his fist by his side. 

“Nerds,” Peter teased, dragging out the e slightly. 

“But hot ones,” Sirius added inadvertently, giving a small shrug as he did.

Remus turned to Sirius with a frown, but you just placed your hand over one of his shoulders and nodded. “Indeed we are,” you said and sent a wink his way. You then spun on your heel back to the rest of the marauders “Shall we? The girls must be waiting for us by now,” you said, standing on your toes to look over Sirius’ shoulders, at the clock. 

 A few seconds later, and due to James’ idea, you were all running down the stairs and through the halls, in an attempt to get to the orchards as fast as possible. 

“Do not run in the halls!” you heard a couple of scandalised paintings scream, and you just giggled as Sirius threw a silencing spell their way. The portraits looking at him enraged as you all kept running. By the time you reached the doors to the grounds, you were all panting, cheeks burning and grinning like fools.

You were bent down trying to catch your breath when you felt a snowball that came from the outside straight to your face. The boys gasped and started laughing as you dusted off the remnants of snow and looked up and tried to spot where it had come from. You continued to scan the field, only to find Lily Evans, smiling and waving at you with the most guilty expression you had ever seen in a person. 

Now it was your turn to gasp. “That’s what you get for waking us all up early,” She shouted from a few metres in the distance. 

“Mary woke us up!” You argued, “I only made arrangements.” 

“No, no,” James said, a wicked smile on his face. “You did wake us up early,” he added as he pointed at all the marauders. “And with a fucking blizzard,” the boy was already walking towards the redhead, “I say it’s time for payback.” 

You were about to say something when you received another snowball in the face, you looked at the boy with an expression of absolute betrayal as the leftover snow fell over your coat. “James Potter you little shit!” you said. He gave you a daring look in return. And you scoffed amused. Then you leaned down and made a small ball, packing the snow gently before throwing it his way. James easily veered out of the way, which you should have expected, since he was so used to dodging bludgers. 

“That all you got? You’d make a terrible beater, luv!” he teased, taking the ball Lily gave him and launching it your way, this time around you managed to dodge, but the ball fell right on the side of Sirius’ head. 

“Prongs, my hair!” he whined. Both you and Remus snickered, the taller boy was now the one passing you a snowball, allowing his hand to linger just for a second too long, as he did, not that anyone noticed, Sirius was too busy taking snow out of his hair and Peter had run off somewhere earlier. You smiled and brought the ball up to your face.

Using what you learned from charms to perform a small, wandless spell, over the projectile, you smiled wickedly and threw it his way again. James dodged to the side but the snowball turned with him and landed square on his face. You laughed as James looked at you with absolute shock, trying to remember if you had –at any point– taken your wand out. When he realised you hadn’t, he was half impressed, and just as he was pushing his glasses back on his face, he received another ball on the side of his head, his hair getting filled with snow as he gasped. 

Sirius –who had thrown the ball– was waving at him with a smile. Until seconds later he too received a snowball on his face, a laugh from Marlene as she nudged Mary echoed in the distance. 

Remus was about to pass you another snowball when he too got hit, square on his chest –the lucky bastard– by none other than Beth Doxon. She smiled, her bright red hair being covered by a warm Gryffindor cap. “Come on Professor Lupin! Stop passing balls and start throwing them!” she taunted, Remus took the ball in his hands and threw it her way. 

“Kind of fits you,” you said with a smile as you leaned down for another ball and moved it to your mouth to charm it again, “Professor Lupin, it’s got a ring to it.” 

“I much prefer the sound of Professor Moony,” Sirius teased from behind, “encapsulates his personality better.”

“Sod off, Pads!” Remus said, also crouching down to get more snowballs, when he stood up, and another ball came your way, you quickly moved behind him. He turned to you in disbelief. “What am I? Your human shield?” he asked, just as a snowball fell on the side of his face. 

“And an effective one, isn’t he Kit?” 

“Very,” you responded with a light giggle. “It’s about his broad shoulders,” you said as you placed both hands on them, Remus tensed, looking at Sirius, thinking he might be angry, or jealous, or something. But neither of those things happened, instead, he joined your praising. 

“And he’s tall too,” Sirius added, walking right behind you, and placing his hands over your shoulders, really close to your neck, in fact, close enough so his cold fingers crashed against your warm skin, which caused you to hiss and step away from him, crashing onto Remus. 

“Shit Sirius!” You complained as you attempted to tighten the scarf around your neck “You’re cold as fuck.” 

“But you warm my heart baby,” he teased, an overly gooey tone in his voice as he extended his hands towards you again, you knew exactly what he was about to do and you scurried out of his grasp and ran towards the snow, even if you got a few snowballs thrown your way as you tried to cross the field. You found a statue and with a quick confringo, melted the snow at the top to make a dent and take cover.

You quickly made a ball from the snow at your side and threw it on Sirius’ hair, leaning your head just enough time for him to notice it had been you. He eyed you, diverted and then you felt a snowball hit the back of your head, you turned around just enough to find Remus with another snowball in his hand.  

“Scoot over, will you?” He said as he leaned down, as if ready to enter your improvised trench. 

“No, you threw a snowball in my head,” you responded, feigning annoyance. 

Remus chuckled and placed one of his legs inside your trench either way, “And you used me as your shield, we’re even.” 

You shook your head in amusement but scooted over either way. Remus swished his wand and suddenly a pile of snowballs appeared behind you. You smiled and took your own wand out, whispering the same locating spell over all of them. Remus raised his eyebrow at you as if he was impressed, and you shot him a wink as you took a ball and leaned over to throw it towards Lily, meanwhile, Remus was throwing some Beth’s way. 

“You’ve abandoned me for a sexy werewolf I see,” Sirius whispered in your ear, he had apparated just behind the two of you. He had been practising since your last class when Professor Dumbledore allowed you all to try doing it for the first time by yourselves, and he was insufferably good at it. 

“The werewolf doesn’t want to bury his freezing cold hands on my neck,” you said –if only you knew where he wanted to bury them– without even turning to look at your boyfriend, if you had, you’d probably go soft at the sight of his eyes. He often got what he wanted from you with just a look, and he fucking knew it all too well. Not that you didn’t have the same effect on him, hence, you two were absolutely chaotic together. 

Your small trench was barely enough for the three of you to fit in together, and it’s not that either of you was a stranger to touching each other, but Remus was feeling the heat rise up to his cheeks as your shoulders brushed against his, but much more worse when his back brushed against Sirius’ smaller chest. It was like the Halloween party all over again, but this time Remus didn’t want to run away. 

Well, perhaps a part of him did, but the rest of him, the part that had thoroughly enjoyed cuddling Vixen and Padfoot, wanted to do the exact same to you and Sirius. He wanted the two of you to be his, to slather you with his scent so much that the entire world knew who you belonged to. 

Of course, that was ridiculous, Remus knew, but he was hungry, Moony was hungry, the problem is he didn’t want food, he wanted his two best friends. 

A nudge in his stomach pulled him out of his thoughts. “Mind teaching me how to make so many balls at once Professor Lupin?” 

“It’s Professor Moony,” Sirius insisted, he had to duck as a ball flew towards his head in that instant. 

You rolled your eyes “Rem?” 

He was still a little shaken by the thought, almost hazy with how thrilled being so close to the two of you made him feel. “Yeah sure, just… whisper pila nix,” he said as he showed you what he did. “It’s a simple swish and curl.” 

You did as told and in seconds there was another pile of snowballs ready for you to use. Sirius looked at Remus surprised. “You’re a great teacher mate,” he said, “should try helping her with transfiguration.” 

You groaned at that “You know I’m a lost cause,” you said as you ducked, the small ball falling straight on Sirius’ face. He tugged your hair lightly “Oi, what was that for?” you complained, turning to look up at him.

“So you warn me next time.” 

You looked at him amused, and grabbed some snow from the side of your trench, “Hey Puppy, there’s a snowball coming your way,” he looked around, as if trying to find the offender, only to receive one right from where you were crouching. 

He turned to look back at you shocked and smiled as he shook his head, “Oh you little Minx!” he said as he bit his lip, “I was letting you go scot-free earlier.” 

“Not my fault you didn’t see the ball,” you said, unconsciously etching closer to Remus. 

“Aww darling…” Sirius said as he crouched next to you, and pulled you into a hug. 

“Sirius, what– what are you, fuck…” you said springing up from the spot you were on, his hand –his freezing cold hand– that he had slipped under both your shirt and sweater had landed on your bare back. You stood behind Remus again, using him to shield yourself from Sirius. “Treason!” you said dramatically. 

“You don’t want another hug from your boyfriend?” he asked with a playful pout. 

You shook your head, still feeling the cold of his hand. If the snow fight was still going, neither of you was paying too much attention to it. Let alone Remus, who was really struggling not to let the feeling of you pressed against his back get the best of him. Only made worse by the way Sirius’ wrapped his arms around him and pressed himself to the boy as he tried to reach you either way.

Do they not fucking know about personal space?, he thought. But of course, you didn’t, not when the two of you had been cuddling him every other night. Needless to say, it was different for him, he was just cuddling two fluffy animals when he fell asleep –except in those rare occasions Sirius would turn back– meanwhile, both you and Sirius were just cuddling good old Remus. This wasn’t any closer to him than you’d been already. 

Remus didn’t speak, he was holding his breath. Sirius kept fucking pressing against him and you kept squirming behind his back. The golden specks of his eyes were so golden they looked like a different colour altogether, more like Moony’s than his own. The chocolaty brown shifting into dangerous and shimmering aureate. 

“Moony! Moony help!” you called out in between laughs.

“Don’t you dare, Moons!” Sirius warned. 

Sirius pressed harder as you tried to squirm away and it was enough for him to feel bIood run south. He had to stop this before either of you noticed what was happening to him, so he turned around and grabbed both of your shoulders, digging his hands in between your necks and the back of your heads, enough force to get your attention, but not enough to hurt either of the two. 

Sirius seemed to be shocked at how much warmer Remus’ hands were in comparison to his, to yours. You were not, you knew Remus tended to run on the warmer side. Hence, cuddling him on cold nights was so useful. “Enough,” he said, flashing his golden eyes at the two of you, the colour slowly sinking back into brown as the two of you looked at him as if his eyes had been those of a basilisk instead of his own, frozen. 

And then, you eyed Sirius, a small smirk playing on the corner of your lips as you sank your hands back in the snow. He smirked in return, sinking his hands as well. By the time Remus noticed your intentions, your hands –icy and freezing– were on his neck and Sirius had slid his hand under Remus’ shirt. 

Merlin knew who had been more startled after that. You, who had tumbled as you pulled on Remus and had him fall on top of you. Remus who had been shocked at the way Sirius had gone straight for his stomach –which in truth, had been a lot more shocking than the cold– and had his breath hitch in his throat. Or Sirius Black, who was only now contemplating his actions, realizing how awkward it must have been for his friend, and having a mini panic attack over the fact that digging his hands under Remus’ sweater felt as fucking thrilling as it did. 

Remus was a lot less soft and a lot more firm than you were. And he adored your softness, but fuck, Remus’ harder frame felt impious under his hands. It felt lurid, licentious, beguiling… and it placed some rather salacious thoughts in his head. 

Thoughts that… would be worthy of a muggle rock star. Of Freddie and Bowie, and perhaps even Elton. But Sirius was not– he wasn’t because if he had been… he’d know, right?

As you still had Remus pulled by the neck, you received yet another ball on the head, the leftover even splashing onto Remus whose head was so close to you that you could smell his hair, and then, you started laughing. So hard that you weren’t even feeling the cold against your back, the snow slowly sinking in your robes and soaking them. 

Sirius was the next one to laugh, taking his hands off of Remus’ stomach and letting himself fall next to the two of you as he continued to cackle. And lastly, Remus joined, you still hadn’t let go of his neck, almost using it as a personal heater at that point, he didn’t seem to mind, and eventually he just sort of relaxed into you, if you felt the shift in weight as he let go, you didn’t seem to mind at all either. 

“Well, well, well, would you look at the love puppies all cosied up while we continue the snowball fight.” 

Sirius grabbed a snowball from the side and threw it his way without even looking, and since they all had the missile spell it landed straight onto Peter’s face. “Shut it Wormtail,” he said, borderline rudely. 

While Sirius had never minded being called “Love Puppy” or whatever other joke Peter came up with, that was before he started doubting himself about whatever the hell was happening to him whenever he spotted Remus. Especially after exactly what he was feeling after he placed his hands under the other boy’s shirt, especially because it had been so fucking similar to the feeling he got when he did it to you. 

“We’re off for breakfast. You are not planning to stay all tangled in your little love trench, are you?” Peter asked again, whipping his face off the snow and paying no mind to Sirius and how rude he’d been. 

“We might be,” you joked, your hands had unconsciously travelled to Remus’ head after he laid down and you were now toying with his hair. He had silky hair, a little thicker in comparison to Sirius’ curls. Remus hummed in agreement, closing his eyes as he enjoyed the way your hands felt on his scalp. If Sirius thought it was weird, it had been his fault he ended up on top of you anyway. A part of him was telling him how bad of an argument that was, but it was easy enough to ignore it when Sirius didn’t seem to mind, and your hands felt heavenly. 

“Suit yourselves, I heard there was going to be an assortment of Christmas pies today,” he said with a shrug. 

Your head snapped his way. “Christmas pies, you said?” you asked, eyes shining and mouth watering at the thought. Your soft touch on Remus’ head switched to an unintended pull of his hair as you turned.

“Ouch!” He complained. 

You winced, “Sorry Rem,” you said, not even turning to him as you patted him on the shoulder and wriggled your way out of the sandwich he had trapped you in with the snow. He tried not to look disappointed as he stood back on the small trench. By then you were already standing outside of it, and looking at Peter as if you wanted him to elaborate. 

“The elves mentioned something,” he said simply. “Apple, pecan, peach, chocolate, some savoury ones too I assume.”

If you were a cartoon, you’d be drooling. “Well boys, pleasure messing with you and all that, but it’s pie time,” you said as you turned to walk behind Peter and the rest. 

“Who’s the traitor now?” Sirius shouted with a smile. 

“I’ll save you boys a seat,” was your only reply as you started sprinting towards the Great Hall, determined to be among the first to arrive so you could choose from the assortment of pies available. 

The boys caught up with you as you were taking a seat, already having walked through the length of the table and picked out the pies that you’d be eating. When they sat down, Remus at one side of you and Sirius purposely taking the other side to keep some distance from himself and the source of his thoughts. You picked two pies from your plate and placed them in front of each of the boys. 

“What’s this?” Remus asked as he picked it up. 

You were about to give a bite to one of the tarts you’d picked and said “Pie,” with a shrug, taking a bite right after and moaning at how good it was. 

Sirius’ whose head had already been messy that day, had to adjust his pants uncomfortably. First, you woke him up and he couldn’t complete his morning routine, then there was the whole confusing thing whatever the hell was going on in his brain when he was close to Moony and lastly, you moaning shamelessly as you ate. 

“No shit Sherlock,” Remus said as he pushed you lightly, shoving you against Sirius whose breath hitched as you laid your cheek on his shoulder and pressed a light kiss. “I mean, what’s it made of?” You sat straight and pushed Remus in return. 

“Try it, I know you’ll like it!” you said with a smile and gave another bite to yours. He gave you a distrusting look. “Oh come on, Moony! I wouldn’t give you something you don’t like! You’d get all pissy and Pissy Moony is no fun.” 

“Pissy Moony?” he asked, almost offended. “You have a term for that?” 

You left your pie on the table and raised his up to his mouth. “Sirius told me about it,” you said, “Now eat up, I promise you’ll like it.” 

He gave you one last side eye and then gave it a bite, missing your hands the moment you brought them back to your plate to take a bite of yours. 

“Cherries and chocolate,” Remus said with a smile as he turned to you. “I love it. How did you know?” 

You shrugged, “I’m just that brilliant.” 

“Will you also mouth-feed your boyfriend or is that only reserved for dear Moony?” Sirius flirted, trying to regain some sort of control of the dire situation he found himself in. 

Sirius didn’t mean anything by it, but the way he’d said “your boyfriend” straight up felt like a jab on Remus’ heart. Sirius was right, the two of you were dating and he seemed to be intruding more and more lately. But then again, the only times Sirius seemed upset about how close you all were, were when he was teasing. 

You rolled your eyes, but decided to take his pie in your hands either way “Close your eyes,” you instructed. Sirius gave you a weary look but did as told. “Try and guess what it is, deal?” you asked as you leaned it closer to his mouth. He leaned enough to give it a bite and then turned to you surprised “Is that…? Does it have firewhiskey?” 

You smiled and pulled out a small bottle from your pocket, “Thought you’d like something a little different,” you said with a smile “peaches and firewhiskey.” Sirius took the pie from your hands, his discomfort almost fading in the background as he took a look at the pie you’d given him. 

“But how?” 

You shrugged “Added the firewhiskey and then did a small warming spell so it cooked a bit. I’m sure it would be better if they were cooked together from the start but I thought you’d appreciate a little spice…”

“I do, wanna taste it?” he asked as he passed it over, you gave it a small bite and all but moaned again, even closing your eyes and letting your head fall back just a little, exposing your neck to both boys, who could barely keep their eyes away from it, especially Remus. “Fuck I’m an incredible cook, Moons taste this out too!” you said as you, for the second time that day, shove a pie close to his face. When he gave a bite he couldn’t help but taste both you and Sirius in it. It really was fucking delicious. 

He nodded as Sirius leaned over you to take the pie from Moony, their hands brushing against each other and giving both boys an electric-like feel, not because of actual electrical shock, but rather because of what they felt for each other. Sirius reclined back on his seat and placed his hand on your leg, seeking the hem of your skirt before sliding it over your skin. 

Same fucking feeling. 

You looked at his hand and nudged him lightly, he gave you a flirty wink in return that made you laugh and Remus tried to avert his gaze from both Sirius’ hand and the way your skirt had ridden up a good deal. 

You gave another bite of your pie and turned to Remus, as casually as you could muster –even if you were a bit nervous to ask, which you shouldn’t be because he was your friend– “Wanna come to Slughorn’s Christmas Party with me?”  No better time than now, right?

Remus wasn’t so sure about that, he almost choked on his own pie, he wiped his mouth with the back of his sweater before turning to yours with a frown “I’m sorry, what?” 

Sirius started drawing circles on your leg, the way your skirt moved with each of his strokes didn’t escape Remus’ nervous gaze on you. “The Christmas Party from the Slug Club, I’m supposed to bring someone with me” –you tilted your face with a smile– “Want to come?” 

Remus turned to Sirius, giving him a look, the other boy just shrugged with a nod but that wasn’t enough. “What about Sirius? Your boyfriend?” The words almost hurt to say. 

“He doesn't want to come,” you said. “Right, Siri?” 

“That’s more your kind of nerd stuff,” he said after he nodded, and pointed at the two of you. 

“Slughorn has never invited me, he doesn’t want me there,” he said, not sure if he was supposed to feel dejected because you were his second choice or fucking delighted because you’d want to take him and not Sirius, thought he had to remind himself that you probably did want to take Sirius. 

Remus didn’t stop to think that you would have, had you actually wanted to, easily convinced Sirius to come along. Let alone, would he have imagined that you had asked Sirius if you could take him instead. 

“That’s exactly why I want to take you”– you said as you placed his hands around his arm– “I want to show that old snake how freakin’ clever my best friend is. You deserved an invitation much more than I did anyway.” Remus gave you a reproachful look when he heard the last thing. “You’re coming, yeah? It’s always fun to prove the snakes how wrong they are with you.” 

Sirius smiled. “Come on mate, don’t make her beg,” Sirius said, flicking his finger on your thigh and letting them rest closer to the inner side, still at a prudent distance, and while you did feel the shift, you played it cool and tried not to even look. “Girl might end up taking Pete if you reject her,” he teased. 

You elbowed him softly, not because you didn’t want to take Peter, but because he was implying it would be such a terrible choice.  Of course, you’d much rather take Remus or even some of your other friends, like Tom or Minho (he was already invited) but that was because you were pretty certain Annie Doxon would hex you if you took her boyfriend. James was going with Lily, so he was completely out of the question. 

“Okay,” Remus said with a shrug, trying to seem as natural as possible. “I’ll come but… what about the date though, you know near the end of December it’s the…” 

“Moon’s on the 22nd, party is on the 21st. I know it’s just a day before and I’ll totally get it if you’re not feeling up for it by then. I wouldn’t want to make you into a Pissy Moony.” 

He pushed you with his shoulder again, “Sod off!” he said jokingly and both you and Sirius started to laugh.

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I Know You Didn't Sign On For This

Season Three Episode Five (Midseason finale)

Dr. Spencer Reid x Reader (Aaron Hotchner’s Sister)

Words: 5342

Series Masterlist

Summary: A killer returns in his efforts to torment Aaron. Forced to stay behind, the reader must grapple with the possibility of loss. 

Notes: To be fair… I did warn you. When I began this series, I realized that I’d have to do this episode because of the time frame I laid out and man, did it hurt to finally get here. This is a doozy, but I hope you guys like it. I actually had a really good time writing it (is that bad haha?) Also, I decided to split up this season so that I could work on part two while part one was posting. I’m hoping to have part two done by January. (fingers crossed) Thank you guys for all the love! 

-

After

You couldn’t look her in the eye, not without wanting to tear her apart. She pressed record. 

“Let’s start with why you were unofficially brought in to accompany the team in their pursuit of a dangerous fugitive.” 

“Don’t.” 

Strauss clasped her hands in front of her on the table. “Don’t what, Miss Y/L/N?”

“Don’t talk to me like I’m just another civilian.” 

“You are not a federal agent and you did not have the clearance nor the authority to be on that search.” 

“The only safe place for me was with the team and you know it.” You wanted to scream, wanted to throw something, wanted to slap that high and mighty expression off of the section chief’s face. 

“We would have put you in protective custody,” Strauss reasoned. 

“And look how well that turned out,” you snapped back. 

She leaned back in her chair. 

You leaned forward. “And don’t you dare try to pin some protocol bull against Agent Hotchner because he told me exactly what you just did. But in the end, we both knew the only place Foyet couldn’t get me was with the BAU team.”

“With your fiance.” She watched you, analyzing every word, every tick. 

“I was stationed with Dr. Reid, yes.” You crossed your arms. “Since he had to stay out of the field due to his leg injury, he primarily remained at Kassmyer’s house where several officers were working the crime scene. I figured it was the best place for me to stay out of the way and to stay with the most people with guns in case Foyet changed his route.”

“But you didn’t expect him to do that,” she said, “did you?”

“No.” You swallowed, your hard exterior faltering for a moment. “I didn’t.”  

Strauss glanced down at the paper in front of her. “Can you describe your interactions with S.S.A Hotchner on the day of the incident?” 

You scoffed, smiling bitterly as you stood. “We’re done here.” 

“Miss Y/L/N, sit down.”

“As you so graciously pointed out, Agent Strauss-” You growled, gripping the edge of the table. “I am not one of your agents. So we’re done here.” 

She opened her mouth to argue. 

You grabbed the door handle. 

“If you have any more questions, you can call my damn lawyer.” You walked out of the room, slamming the door so hard you thought the glass would break. 

-

Before

You knew before the agents ran by your door that something was going on. Aaron had been more alert than usual, more insistent that you don’t stray too far from the BAU or your apartment. Spencer had been more attentive, making sure that you were sleeping alright and that you didn’t go anywhere alone. 

But it was when Emily checked in on you that you knew something was going on. 

“What happened?” You asked. 

“I wish I could tell you, Y/N, but we don’t know enough,” she said, hurrying away again. 

With each agent that went by, you started to put the pieces together. 

They found him. 

-

“Stay here.” 

“You’re kidding, right?” 

Aaron’s eyes blazed in a way that almost scared you. Almost. 

“I can’t sit in the office and wait for you guys to find him.” You crossed your arms, looking to Spencer for some help. 

“Y/N, the safest place for you-” Spence started. 

“Is with all of you.” You ran your fingers through your hair, not even realizing how much you were shaking. “Look, I have almost died in my own home, I’ve been attacked in my brother’s apartment, and I have been taken from a police station,” you snapped. “I am going with you.” 

“Anderson,” Aaron said. 

The agent came running. 

Hotch gave you a hard stare. “Make sure she doesn’t go anywhere.” 

“You can’t be serious,” you snapped, taking a step to leave. 

Anderson stepped in your way. 

Aaron sighed. “Just… stay safe. I’ll have Garcia update you when she can.” 

“Aaron, please.” You tried again, but Anderson just gave you an apologetic look and stayed in place. “You can’t leave me here.”

He didn’t say anything else. Your brother turned and left, shoulders tense and fists clenched at his sides. 

Spencer gave you a small, awkward smile. “It’s safest for you to stay here. I don’t want to think what he would-” He shuddered. 

“Spencer, please let me come with you,” you pleaded, taking his hand. “Aaron can’t do this alone.”

“He won’t be alone.” Spence brought your hand to his lips. “We’re going to get Foyet, Y/N.”

“Not if he gets you first,” you muttered, blinking back angry, terrified tears. 

He pressed a kiss to your forehead, whispering against your skin. “I love you.”

“Spence-”

“I’ll call you if I can.” 

Spencer hurried out before you could inevitably change his mind. Hotch was right. Protocols and everything aside, you would only be in more danger going after Foyet. Still, leaving that room made his heart hurt. 

You gritted your teeth to keep from screaming in frustration and fell back into Aaron’s chair. 

“We haven’t officially met.” Anderson cleared his throat and awkwardly stuck out his hand. 

You simply glared in return. 

-

Reid hated it. He hated leaving you behind, leaving you in the dark. The fear in your voice echoed through his head and made his chest feel tight. He’d left you just like he’d left you at the police station. You were right. Nowhere was safe. And he’d left you. 

“Reid,” Morgan’s voice pulled him out of his thoughts. 

They were on the way to Arlington to find ‘Peter Rhea.’ Or, as Reid had figured out- The Reaper. Reid sat in the car, his knee bouncing anxiously while he stared out of the window. 

“Sorry, what were you saying?”

Morgan looked at him through the rearview, Rossi in the passenger seat beside him. 

“Anderson’s sticking with Y/N at the BAU, right?”

“Yeah.”

“So she’s safe, kid,” he reassured him, turning into the parking lot of the building they were meeting at. 

“That’s what we said at Fairfax,” he muttered, using his crutch to help him out of the car. 

While they were getting set up, waiting to move in, you were pacing your office, watching for your guard dog outside. Anderson had been in and out all day, running to find information and to make calls that would help with the case. If you just waited for the right moment…

It felt like every inch of you was screaming. Like your barely healing scars were ready to burst open and bleed life right out of you. You wrapped your arms around yourself as if you could hold it all in. 

Spencer stood amongst the SWAT team and his team and wished he could do something. Even without his leg injury, his brain wasn’t any help. He could predict where Foyet would be, but that didn’t matter if they didn’t get there in time. 

Images from countless nightmares came flooding back to him. Pictures of Foyet’s knife piercing your stomach, slicing across your skin, his sick smile slick with your blood as you tried to speak through it. You, in the hospital bed, flatlining. The patchwork of your body after the doctors did the best they could to stitch you up.

What if he went after you again? 

You gulped down a glass of water with a shaking hand, a part of you still wishing it was something stronger. Anderson had gotten called away, something about Foyet not being at the apartment. 

Your phone rang. 

“Sam?” You answered. 

Why would the Marshall be calling you?

“Sam, what’s happened?”

“That’s cute. Was he going to be your handler too if you hadn’t been so stubborn?” 

Your stomach dropped. 

“Foyet.” 

“Hello, darling.” George Foyet grinned into the receiver. “You know, I’ve always regretted that we didn’t have more time together.” 

“Come get me and we will,” you snapped, already gathering your things. 

There was only one reason he’d have Sam Kassmeyer’s phone. 

“Ooo, so feisty. So fun. And yet so… been there, done that.” You heard an engine start. “I just wanted to give you a heads-up about the agenda for today. It’s so unfair that they’re making you miss out on all the fun.” 

“If you tell me where you’re going, I can join you.” You picked up your keys. “We’ll all have a great time.” 

Foyet clicked his tongue in scolding. “Now, Y/N, that would be cheating.” Wherever he was, he was pulling away from the sound of his car. Even if you got there in time, he’d be long gone. Just another chase. “Tell Aaron I send my love.” 

He hung up.

You tried to call Aaron, but he didn’t answer. He was either too busy or too pissed off at you to pick up. You didn’t have time to try and reach them through Garcia. If Foyet had been to Kassmeyers, then the agent was either dead or dying. 

“Goddamnit,” you exclaimed, almost throwing your phone across the room. Instead, you took a deep breath, pulled yourself together, and opened your door. Anderson was busy with a call, giving you the perfect opportunity to slip out. 

Foyet was going after Hailey and Jack, and he’d just found the perfect way to get to them.

You just hoped Aaron reached them first. 

-

Spencer spotted you first. With Hotch still with the US Marshall who was bleeding out on the floor, everyone could only stand by and watch. He’d just glanced out of the window when he saw you running up the sidewalk, your panicked face lit up by the blue and red lights of the approaching ambulance. 

“Uh, Hotch,” he said. 

Morgan and Prentiss both turned. 

“Oh, you have got to be kidding me,” Morgan said. 

“How did she know to come here?” Prentiss asked. 

Spencer opened the door, frowning. “Y/N, what are you-”

“Is Kessmeyer okay?” You asked through heavy breaths. “I got a call from Foyet from his phone, so I knew that he would be-” You pushed inside and saw the blood. “Oh god.”

The wall of agents kept you from getting too close. Spence put a hand on your arm. 

“You can’t be here.” 

“Did you say you got a call from Foyet?” Prentiss exclaimed. 

“What the hell is she doing here?” Aaron asked, not getting up from Sam’s side. 

You ignored him, nodding at Emily. “He called me from Sam’s phone. I have it in case I needed to-” You took a deep breath and looked away from the blood. “He wanted me to know what he was doing. He wanted to taunt me because he knew I was stuck at the BAU. I came here because I was worried Marshall Kessmeyer might be hurt.” 

The paramedics moved you all out of the way. 

“Gunshot wounds to each leg, one foot, he’s missing several fingers and appears to be badly beaten,” Reid told them without blinking. 

“Christ.” You ran a hand down your face, trying to see over the couch where the Marshall lay. 

The paramedics moved in. Aaron stood to let them work, Kassmeyer still trying to tell him something. He turned his burning gaze to you.

“I told you to stay.”

“And I tried to call you,” you fired back. “Foyet called me. He wanted me to know he knew where I was. He wanted me to know where he was going.” 

“You can’t be here,” he snapped, his cool fury more terrifying than any shout. “This is an active pursuit of a dangerous criminal. You cannot be here.”

Other officers were showing up, ready to treat the house as a crime scene. 

The paramedics wheeled Sam out. He tried to talk to Aaron through the blood in his mouth. 

Hotch clenched his jaw and took a breath. 

“Reid, stay here with Y/N. Make sure she does not try to follow us,” he ordered. He pointed at you as he went to follow Sam. “We will talk about this later.”

“Come back alive and you can yell at me all you want, Aaron.” 

He gave you a final glance and the anger in his gaze flickered soft for a moment, revealing the relief of seeing that you were alright. Aaron hurried out. 

You looked around at the group of agents, crossing your arms as a sudden chill ran over you. 

“He found them,” you said. “He found them and now-” You put a hand over your mouth to keep the cries back. 

Spencer pulled you into his arms without hesitating. You were tense against him, shaking from the effort of trying to hold yourself together. He rubbed your back in the way that always helped you calm down. 

“We’re going to find them first,” he whispered. 

Reid looked over your shoulder at the team. 

A darkness hung over all of them and no one looked at you. 

“I want him gone,” you said against his shoulder. 

“I know.”

“What if he’s already there? What if Hayley and Jack are already-”

“We have to assume they’re alive.” JJ stepped towards you. “Like any case.”

“But this is any case.” You moved away from all of them, closer to the door. “This is The Reaper. This is Foyet. The man who attacked the strongest person I know in his own apartment. The one who almost killed me. Nothing about this is like any case.” Your voice bordered on hysterical. 

JJ frowned. “I just meant that-”

“I can’t just stay here and wait for something to happen.” You reached for the doorknob. 

Spencer grabbed your hand. 

Logic returned to your system. 

His eyes pleaded with yours. “Stay with me.” 

You closed your eyes, took a breath, and let him pull you back to his side. 

“I’ll call the U.S. Marshalls, see what they can tell us,” JJ said. She stepped away to make the call, but the others just stood there, each of them trying to wrap their heads around what the hell was going on. 

Dave, who had been talking to one of the paramedics before Aaron left, put a hand on your shoulder. 

“We’ll find them, kid.”

You could only hope that he was right.

-

When Hotch called, he didn’t mention you. He needed to forget that you were there, to push him to the back of his mind so he wouldn’t turn around and handcuff you to his side so you could never be in harm's way again. Then again, it was with him that you’d been hurt so many times before. 

He hung up with the team and dialed a different number. 

Emily sighed, listening to Penelope. From the tech’s side of the call, there was a series of beeps. 

“What’s that?”

Somehow, you already knew. 

Penelope’s tone changed, flat with shock. “Hotch is calling Foyet.” 

You held Spencer’s hand tighter. 

“Damnit, Aaron.” 

The phone rang and you all listened. 

Foyet answered. “Agent Hotchner.” 

“If you touch her-” Aaron started, the fury and fear evident in his usually controlled tone. 

“Be gentle?” Foyet mocked. “Like I was with you?” He chuckled, the sound sending shivers up your spine. “Or your sister? Y/N seems well, by the way. Even though you’ve got her locked up in that ivory tower of yours. Such a pretty thing. A little old for me, but-” he clicked his tongue. “It’s a shame I didn’t get to pay her a visit one more time.” 

You tried not to show it, but it felt like your whole body had started to shake. Every word he said was like the knife slicing into you all over again. 

“What the hell took you so long?” Foyet asked. “I was beginning to think this phone was dead or something.” 

Aaron remained silent. 

Foyet noticed. “Why so quiet? You usually lash out when you’re frustrated.”

“Bastard,” you muttered, trying to keep your breathing steady. 

Spencer held you a little closer. 

“I’m not frustrated,” Hotch finally responded. “You’re more predictable than you think.” 

“Am I?”

“You didn’t know where Haley was so you made her come to you.” 

“You make me sound lazy.” 

“Just another way for you to show control.” 

What are you doing, Aaron? You wondered. You watched the reactions of everyone on the team, but they were all listening as intently as you were. 

“Oh that’s terrible,” Foyet said, his voice jeering. 

“Your mother tried to protect you from your father, but she wasn’t strong enough.”

“You make me sound like you’re sister,” Foyet snapped. It was barely perceptible, but you could hear the slight edge of frustration rising in him. “Or maybe just you.”

Aaron ignored him. “You hated her for that, didn’t you? You decided all women were weak.” 

“Those are your words, not mine.” 

Their words melded together in your mind as a different scene took over your thoughts. 

“She’s so pretty, Aaron. You didn’t tell me your sister was pretty,” Foyet said as he drove the knife into your side.

“Aaron…” You were losing consciousness from the hit you’d taken to the head, but you could take in every ounce of pain. 

Your brother laid across from you, his blood pooling on the carpet around him. If you could get The Reaper to focus on you, maybe Aaron would make it. 

“Is that…” You struggled to speak. “All you’ve got?”

“You know what I’ve been thinking?” The voice on the phone brought you back. “Haley looks pretty good with dark hair. She’s lost some weight. Must be all the stress you’ve caused her.” 

“Oh god,” you mouthed, bringing your hand up to keep from making a sound. Spencer held you close, but even he was still with shock and fear. 

“Where’s the little man?” Foyet wondered. “Oh, there he is. Does he like Captain America because of you?” 

A different phone began to ring. 

“That’s your wife,” Foyet said. “Hold please.” He answered the other line. “Mrs. Hotchner.”

“I’m here.”

“Open the gate and I’ll drive in.” 

“Okay.” 

Just the sound of her voice made you want to scream, to warn her. 

Aaron would make it in time. He had to. 

But you didn’t even know where they were. 

“Aaron,” Foyet spoke on the other phone again. “I really got to go.” 

The line went dead. 

Gate. Somewhere with a gate. 

You went rigid in Spencer’s arms, your eyes darting back and forth like you were reading something in front of you. 

“The gate.” 

Emily turned to you. “What?” 

“One time, in high school, I had to jump over the gate to sneak back in after going to some concert Aaron didn’t want me to go to. He said it was too exposed, too many drunk adults. I could get hurt. I, of course, didn’t care, and got beer spilled all over me. Haley caught me and smelled the beer. She said it would be our secret.”

“Y/N, what are you talking about?” Derek asked. 

“The house. Foyet took them to the house, to Aaron and Haley’s house.” 

Morgan nodded. “He has to be in control. He wants to take over Hotch’s home.” 

The place that had once been your home would now be a warzone. 

“We have to go,” you said. 

Dave shook his head. “The best thing you can do for your brother is to stay safe and stay away.” 

“But-”

“Reid?”

“I’ll stay with her.” Spence kept his grip on your hand as the other members of the team rushed out of the house. 

You could have fought. You could have kicked and screamed and forced Spencer to let you go. But you had no weapon, no bulletproof vest, and no clue as to what you would do when you got there. If anything, you’d make it all worse. 

It was up to them now. 

Garcia called. 

“Where’s Y/N? Anderson said she left and I can’t find her anywhere in the BAU and-” Her shrill voice sent a pang of guilt through your chest. 

“I’m here, Penelope. I’m with Spencer. The others are going after Aaron.” 

“Oh thank god,” she sighed. “When I find you, I’m going to give you such a big hug and then I’m going to yell at you for scaring me.” 

“Keep us on with everyone,” Spence said. Something he’d later regret. 

Penelope paused. “Foyet’s calling Hotch.” 

Derek spoke from a different line, driving. “Garcia, can you get us on?” 

Aaron answered. “Foyet?”

But it wasn’t Foyet that spoke. 

“Aaron?” 

It was Haley. 

-

After

He sat across from you, hands clasped in his lap, waiting quietly for you to say something. 

Dr. Lance Sweets looked at the journal you’d placed on the table. He glanced back up at you. 

“Did you write about it?” He asked softly. 

You shook your head. 

Waiting for your permission, he picked up the journal to look at the last entry. 

“Why did you decide to bring it with you today, Y/N?” 

You met his eyes but he could tell you weren’t really looking at him. 

“I was hoping you could tell me how,” you said. 

“How what?”

“How I’m supposed to write about it?” You tried to keep your voice even, but every word felt broken. “How I’m supposed to wrap it all up in a neat little summary so I can get on with feeling better.”

“No one expects-”

“I know what everyone expects,” you snapped. “They expect me to grieve and to hurt and to fall apart. But I can’t do that. I can’t be the weak one anymore. Aaron needs me more than ever now so I need you to tell me how I’m supposed to get over listening to the person I called my sister die over the goddamn phone. Can you just help me do that?”

You didn’t realize you were shouting until you were forced to catch your breath. 

Dr. Sweets waited and set the journal Spencer gave you back on the table. 

“Sorry,” you whispered. 

“It’s okay.”

“No. It isn’t.” 

He took a breath, nodding. “You’re right. It isn’t.”

“I should have died,” you said suddenly. “Did I tell you that? The doctors said it was a miracle I survived, let alone without any major permanent damage.” You laid a hand where you knew the scar was. “Other than needing a new kidney.” 

“What makes you say you should have died?” Lance leaned forward. 

“Maybe if I had, he would have been satisfied, you know?” A tear slipped down your cheek. You didn’t stop it. “Maybe Foyet wouldn’t have kept going. Maybe-” You inhaled sharply. “But instead I-” I chose to come back. 

“George Foyet was a serial killer who wanted to hurt Agent Hotchner in any way he could,” Lance said. “He was never going to stop.”

“I know.” 

“There is nothing you could have done to stop him, Y/N.”

“I know.” Your voice cracked. 

Lance gave you a caring, supportive nod and leaned back again. 

“Then let’s start over, huh?”

You nodded, brought your knees to your chest, and broke down. 

-

Before

Everything stopped. If she had the phone that meant…

Spencer, realizing, reached to hang up. He stopped when you shot him a look that said ‘Don’t you dare.’

“You’re okay?” Haley sounded surprised and relieved. 

Aaron took a second to answer, his voice straining. “I’m fine.”

“But, he said that-” She stopped herself. The fear set in. “Oh, Aaron.” 

“He can hear us, right?” 

“Yes.” Her breathing shook. “I am so sorry.”

“Haley, show him no weakness, no fear.” 

“I know.” Haley calmed herself enough to keep it together. “Sam told me all about him.” She put together another piece. “Is he, um-”

“No, Sam is fine.” Aaron kept his hand on the wheel even as everything spun out of control. His heart pounded in his chest and it took every ounce of strength he had to keep his tone steady. 

“Aaron, Aaron, Aaron,” Foyet scolded. “Is that why your marriage broke up, because you’re a liar.” 

“Don’t listen to him, Haley.” 

“I have Sam’s service phone right here.” 

You stared at the large blood stain on the carpet, unable to move. 

Foyet continued. “They sent out a mass text about his death. You can take a look if you want.”

You turned to Spencer. 

He cast his gaze to the ground and nodded. 

“He’s trying to scare you.” It was getting harder for Aaron to keep the desperation out of his voice. 

“Did you even tell her what this was about?” 

No. Aaron thought. Please no. 

“About the deal?” 

“He’s just trying to make you angry.” Aaron checked the street he was on. He wasn’t close enough. If he could just be faster…

“Well, she should be. She’s gonna…” Foyet paused. You could hear Jack playing in the background. “D-I-E because of your inflated ego.” 

You shook your head, muttering. “Don’t listen to him, Haley. Don’t.” 

“Ignore him, Haley,” Aaron said.

“I’m sure you don’t want her to know this part, either. You know, all he had to do was stop looking for me and you wouldn’t be in this mess?” Foyet mocked.

“Don’t react.” Aaron blinked back tears, feeling like his foot would break the gas pedal. 

“What is he talking about?” Haley asked. 

There was a long, painful silence. 

You gripped the back of the sofa like your life depended on it, numb tears making their way down your face. 

Spencer didn’t know what to do. With all of his training and knowledge and studies, he didn’t know what to do. 

“Tell Jack I need him working the case,” Aaron finally said. 

“What?” 

“Tell Jack I need him working the case.”

You wracked your brain trying to understand what he meant, but you understood one thing. He knew how this was going to end.

Haley cleared her throat and forced a smile into her voice. “Jack, did you hear that?” 

The phone switched hands and the next voice made Aaron’s chest ache even more. 

“Hi, Daddy.”

Aaron’s voice finally cracked. “Hi, buddy.”

You punched the back of the couch and pushed away from it, starting to pace. If he touches that little boy…

“Is George a bad guy?” Jack asked, so sweet and innocent it made your tears fall harder. 

“Yes, he is.” Aaron composed himself. “Jack, I need you on this case with me. Do you understand? I need you to work the case with me.” He could only hope he would understand. That he would remember. 

“Okay, daddy.”

“Jack, hug your mom for me.” 

You finally put it together and froze. 

He knew how this was going to end. 

Spencer took a step toward you, but you stayed back, both of you listening to the silence of a son’s unknowing goodbye. 

“Mommy hug me too tight.” 

“I’m sorry.” You didn’t know how Haley was doing it. Maybe this is what it really meant to be a mother. 

“Why are you sad?” Jack asked. 

“Oh, I just love you so much.” 

“He has to make it in time,” you said, barely loud enough for Spencer to hear. “He has to get there. He-”

“Mommy, I gotta go. I’m working the case.”

Haley let go again. “Okay.” 

Small footsteps signaled Jack’s escape. 

“He’s so cute,” Foyet’s voice returned. “He’s like a little junior G-man. I’ll be right up, Jackie boy!” 

“You stay away from him,” you growled, though you knew he couldn’t hear you. 

Aaron could barely hold the steering wheel steady, he gripped it so tight. “Is he gone?” 

“Yes.” Haley fought her tears.

“You’re so strong, Haley,” Aaron said. “Stronger than I ever was.” 

You thought of every movie night she would put on to make you feel better, every nightmare she’d woken you up from. You thought of how she stood up to the press during your mother’s trial and wouldn’t let anyone near you. How she’d protected you like you were her own. 

Aaron remembered when she had Jack, how she held herself together even when he was a mess. He thought of her smile and her eyes and her voice, even as it shook now. 

“You’ll hurry, right?”

Aaron took a sharp breath, hiding his cries. “I know you didn’t sign on for this.” A tear finally escaped down his face. 

“Neither did you,” she said, resolved. 

“I’m sorry for everything.” He hated himself for saying it, as though it could fix anything. As if it could stop what was going to happen. 

Haley breathed in deeply and let it out, wondering if it would be her last. 

“Promise me you will tell him how we met,” she said. “And how you used to make me laugh.”

The tears flowed freely down his face now, but still, he drove. “Haley…”

“He needs to know that you weren’t always so serious, Aaron.”

You thought of the pictures she showed you every year for their anniversary. Pirates of Penzance. He looked so happy. 

“I want him to believe in love because it is the most important thing.” Her voice shook with the strain of keeping together. “But you need to show him.” 

Aaron could hardly muster a whisper now. “I promise.” 

More silence. 

Then…

One

Haley walking down the aisle, the most beautiful thing he’d ever seen in his life. 

Two

Her beaming face as you walked across the stage at your graduation. 

Three

Haley’s exhausted, but utterly happy smile as she held Jack in her arms, looking up at Aaron with joy and so much love. 

The line went dead. 

Aaron threw the phone onto the dashboard, hoping it would break. 

And she was gone. 

You ran outside, but only made it to the lawn before you fell to your knees and were sick through your sobs. 

Spencer followed as fast as he could, kneeling down to hold you up.

“She can’t be- maybe she’s- please, she can't be-” You gulped through your words, unable to get enough words to say them. 

“Y/N,” Spence started, but he had nothing he could say. 

You stood on trembling legs and started for your car. “We have to go.”

“Y/N, we can’t.”

“You don’t understand.” You whirled around, your red eyes wild and desperate. “He’s going to kill him.”

And you weren’t sure who you meant.

-

After

Spencer had barely stopped the car before you were hurtling out of it, sprinting toward the surrounded house. 

“Y/N!” He called after you, but you didn’t listen. 

They wheeled a stretcher out of Aaron’s former home, carrying a body bag too big to have been your sister-in-law. 

“No,” you gasped. You ran harder, your lungs burning and your heart pounding. “Aaron!” A few of the first responders turned to you, but nobody looked for long. You screamed again. “Aaron!”

Dave found you, putting himself between you and the door. 

“Get out of my way.”

“Believe me, kid,” he said softly. “You don’t want to go in there.” 

“Where’s my brother? I need to find my brother. Aaron!” 

“Aunt Y/N,” a small voice called out to you. Jack waved from JJ’s arms, his young eyes blank and confused. 

You felt sick all over again. 

“Dave, please, where is he?” 

That’s when you saw him. His shirt was covered in blood and his face was cut, already starting to bruise. But he was alive. 

“Aaron!” You ducked around Dave and sprinted into your brother’s waiting arms. 

He didn’t even make it out of the doorway. The second he locked you in his embrace, Aaron felt his legs give out. You basically had to hold him up, his body shaking hard with sobs. 

“I couldn’t get here in time,” he cried into your shoulder. 

You didn’t say anything. You just clung to him as you both cried. 

After what felt like hours, Aaron pulled away. He held something in his fist and stared at his hand with a dark expression. 

“Y/N…” He spoke without expression. “I found this.” 

Any breath you had left your body as he opened his hand. 

It was your locket.

-

The In-Betweens series: @amywright; shesoperfectt;  hereforsmutbcicantgetenough;  violetbossler;  hyper-half-blood;  i-bitch-you-bitch; xcastawayherosx; preciousbabypeter; @jori21; @sol-48;  @murdermornings ; @ staygoldsquatchling02; @ ara-a-bird; @ jjunebug; @ xx-spooky-little-vampire-xx; @ lillianacristina; @ noodleboyluke; @ yokaimoon

[sonkitty]

The Food Curse

Here is my currently forming head canon based on little clues from the Good Omens story of seasons 1 and 2.

Crowley either does not eat food at all or Crowley is never allowed to be seen eating on camera.

There's more to it than that because he can eat indirectly, but that's the core thing I'm going to ramble on about in this post. It's going to sound like one of my theories, but that's force of habit from how I come up with questions and check my own theories.

I'll acknowledge that I've seen more than one Good Omens fan post about food being equal to sex in Good Omens and say that you're not going to find that kind of discussion here. It's my head canon, and I prefer my incoming approach to it.

I don't talk about my religious background much because it's personal, so you'll have to make do with me saying I have learned the following from reading Good Omens posts and not being well-versed in biblical references already. I don't remember if any sources I read this information from expressed a similar theory or head canon though you would think that's where I got the idea.

I'm under the impression the GO universe favors the New King James Version of the Bible, and according to a quick Google search, that one says of God addressing the serpent who tempted Eve:

Because you have done this, You are cursed more than all cattle, And more than every beast of the field; On your belly you shall go, And you shall eat dust All the days of your life.

...

An interpretation of this curse is that it means the Serpent of Eden cannot eat food, or, if he does, it will turn to dust.

Let's examine the clues provided by the story, for fun and/or curiosity.

In season 2, episode 1, during Before the Beginning, we see Crowley's wings are graying, indicating to us that his Fall was a process. It was not an instant thing. It started with this questioning and frustration at learning the fate of the universe ending in a mere 6,000 years.

In season 1, episode 5, Crowley is found getting drunk and talking about his Fall. One of his remarks is, "Oh, hey, the food hadn't been that good lately."

These described events would be from before the temptation that caused this curse, but I noticed them all the same because I'm looking for such things.

We catch glimpses of other supernatural beings describing events before the Fall, but I don't think any of them ever mention food for that time period.

From the scenes we have of Eden in the first two seasons, the story skips over God saying such a curse exists to the serpent. We see Crawley slithering on his belly and then able to rise, transforming into a man-shaped demon with black-feathered wings. He's not eating dust.

Well, even though we never see God curse the Serpent of Eden, the story leaves clues that something resembling this curse is active with Crowley. You know, in case you want to form a head canon about it.

In 2500 BC, Crowley successfully tempts Aziraphale into eating food, and he looks very pleased with himself at his success.

My head canon at this point goes that Crowley himself is feeding off the success of his temptation. Crowley feeds off Aziraphale when Aziraphale eats. This feeding does not last for only this one session. It can and does happen from that point onward. Crowley feeds off Aziraphale this way at least when the two are near each other by some unknown distance.

In Rome, 8 years after 33 AD, Crowley says he's never eaten an oyster. Aziraphale quickly goes into saying something about letting him tempt Crowley into...oh wait, that's Crowley's job. Crowley was successful at this job with Eve and later Aziraphale, for getting each of them to eat something while he himself did not visibly eat anything.

In 1601, Crowley shows up while Aziraphale is ordering food at the Globe Theater. The two have a conversation, and Crowley, as usual, expresses no interest in eating the food himself. He can still be feeding off Aziraphale eating.

On and on it goes. In season 1, episode 1, Crowley and Aziraphale reference Paris, 1793. Aziraphale says, "We had crepes." Well, if Aziraphale ate the crepes, and Crowley fed off Aziraphale eating the crepes, that's a way they had crepes. Aziraphale doesn't feel the need to rephrase it in that way. It's a thing they did together nonetheless.

Crowley plans a heist in 1967 at the Dirty Donkey. No one is having food at that meeting. The other three with him are all humans.

When Crowley meets up with Hastur and Ligur at the graveyard for the "11 years ago" of season 1, episode 1, Crowley departs, saying, "Ciao." Ligur asks what that means, and Hastur answers, "food." No one ate food of course, but since we're looking at Crowley with a possible food curse, it's a curious thing to be there, just like him mentioning "food" when drunkenly talking about his Fall.

When Crowley convinces Aziraphale to go with him to the Ritz for the "11 years ago" time period, Crowley does not have a plate of food. He has a cup with a spoon a saucer, presumably for a drink. He strokes his chin to show him enjoying himself, feeding off Aziraphale eating.

In season 1, episode 2, Crowley and Aziraphale go to a cafe. Crowley is not shown to be enjoying himself feeding off Aziraphale eating, but Crowley's side of the table definitely lacks a plate while having a cup. That indicates he's fine with drinking something, not bothering with eating something, just like when they went to the Ritz 11 years ago.

In season 1, episode 3, Crowley meets up with Shadwell at a diner. Crowley has no drink and no food while they meet. Neither does Shadwell.

In season 1, episode 4, Crowley is found mostly alone in a theater with a container of popcorn. We never see him eat the popcorn, but we at least know he was holding it, and Aziraphale is not around. That could be for show since he considers it part of the human experience being in a theater. I could just be wrong, it's just a head canon after all. He may have done it anyway and just eaten the dust that formed once it went into his mouth. Or, maybe he can eat, but the silly rules of the Good Omens story are that he's never allowed to be seen eating on camera due to his food curse.

In season 1, episode 6, Aziraphale, while pretending to be Crowley, orders them some ice cream and passes one to Crowley, while Crowley is pretending to be Aziraphale. We don't see what became of Crowley's ice cream, but it disappears from the framing very quickly once the camera moves away from him, then back to him. During the actual kidnapping, his mouth is even taped shut. Much like the popcorn in the theater, the ice cream could have been for show. He may have endured eating the dust. He may have devoured it very quickly when the camera wasn't looking.

Later in the same episode, at the Ritz, the table has plenty of food though actually both Crowley's and Aziraphale's main plates where you would expect food to be are empty.

Whatever happened to that plate of Eccles cakes in season 2, episode 1? I don't know. We may never know, but this head canon offers something.

Aziraphale is implied to have ordered those Eccles cakes for Crowley in the hope that they will calm Crowley down with the news about Gabriel being in the bookshop. We know that those Eccles cakes are shown untouched and uneaten before Crowley stormed out.

Crowley is shown to angrily walk away in the street after shooting out lightning that traps Maggie and Nina in the coffee shop. Then a scene in Heaven happens. By the time we get back to Earth, Crowley has calmed down. He's still upset, he's tired, but he's calmed down. So, maybe, very very big maybe, Aziraphale ate those Eccles cakes, Crowley fed off it or felt it, and calmed down. Even if that's true, that suggests some allowable distance with thresholds between them for this magic to work.

Obviously, things happen to get Crowley worked up again with being summoned to Hell, but he had calmed down. When Crowley returns to the bookshop, the plate of Eccles cakes is no longer there.

Over the course of season 2, we don't see Aziraphale eating as much as what we saw in season 1. To my recollection, he only visibly eats one time during the present day storyline, and it's a travel sweet while driving Crowley's car. We learn that Crowley can feel his car despite the distance between them. He can feel quite specifically that Aziraphale eats during that drive and even what Aziraphale is eating. My head canon figures that's part of Crowley's demonic power able to feed off Aziraphale when Aziraphale eats.

In season 2, episode 5, Aziraphale passes a platter to Crowley saying, "Have a vol-au-vent." Crowley is left speechless and eventually drops the platter in annoyance, never shown to have eaten any of the food on it.

Aziraphale sometimes seems aware of this curse and sometimes doesn't. That would be part of the curse's own magic. The more caught up Aziraphale is in what he is wanting or doing, the less aware he is of the curse itself being there.

Another thing about this curse is that if Crowley touches food or the container holding the food, it's usually a bad omen for him. When he has the popcorn in hand, Hastur shows up on the screen to threaten him. When he's holding the ice cream, he is kidnapped. With the plate of Eccles cakes, he is confronted with Gabriel being n the bookshop. For the vol-au-vent platter, that one's a little different since a threat is already known with him on alert, and it takes a longer amount of time for something as dramatic as the brick through the window.

So, with all these little clues that Crowley can feed off Aziraphale eating food, the next question for a silly fangirl like myself is, "What does that mean for all of humanity?"

Crowley tempted Eve into eating the apple. Did he feed off that? Does he feed off humans whenever they eat anything or just apples or just giving into temptation?

Well, the story doesn't say so much as it leaves room for something to be imagined. If Crowley is on screen, humans might be seen drinking and they might have food near them, but I am yet to find any scene of them putting actual food into their mouths to confirm that they can and will clearly eat when the camera is watching as Crowley is on screen with them.

So, what do I imagine?

Well, my instinct is that Crowley himself would flicker in visibility if the camera were watching since we're not allowed to ever see it.

That's just my instinct.

From there, I just go with what I like of fantasizing him as a powerful demon. He feels it. It affects him. And yes, he feeds off it. We're not allowed to see it happen, but he does. He is a very well fed demon.

...

Oh, and another little oddity with this idea is that during the big food fight for Warlock's birthday, party, the food definitely does not land on Crowley, even if it gets on the kids, on Aziraphale, and some of the other wait staff. That could be Crowley's own magic in guarding himself, just not wanting to get messy, as some other explanation, if I wanted to venture that way with this head canon. I'll stick to it being part of this food curse since it's part of the broader group of little clues.

...

I have a generally good memory of events in the show by now, but things still slip between trying to remember it all. So, if I remember something worth adding or noting or correcting, I will do whatever seems best for those options.

[regainingparadise]

Because I'm desperately waiting for the new episode of Great British Bake Off on Netflix, have my Magnus Archives/Bake Off Headcanon:

Martin goes on the Great British Bake-Off

Probably S1 Martin, because I want S1 Sasha & Tim dynamics, but it would also be delightful to have Mr. "I have personal experience with the supernatural" Blackwood be in the tent trying to act like he didn't almost get eaten by a worm lady.

Martin isn't much for cooking (per his abundance of ready meals and canned peaches) but in this headcanon he does love to bake

I want this to be the older version of Bake Off with Mel & Sue, because I think they'd be so good with him. But Noel would absolutely have a field day with the fact that Martin is doing supernatural research.

About his bakes:

There as at least one Showstopper display that is modeled after a statement

In fact, I think he definitely creates a biscuit version of Naomi Herne's statement in two scenes: A vanilla biscuit-Naomi in a gingerbread cemetery complete with fog made of sugar, and Naomi outside Moorland House

This causes a minor crisis for Elias because the Lukas's are Not Pleased and demand to know why Elias didn't put a stop to this. (The reason is, Elias knew that Martin was on the show, but didn't bother to pay attention to what he was doing)

Several of his bakes are flavors that he particularly knows people in his life are fond of--pastry week he dedicates his signature bake to Jon with Jon's favorite curry blend; chocolate week he dedicates to Sasha who is an absolute chocolate fiend; cake week he makes Tim's absolute favorite cake. He even makes his mother's favorite baked goods for patisserie week, the kind she loved but could never afford.

Bread week is his worst week

Chocolate week is his second worst week--his chocolate just will not set properly in his showstopper

The "about Martin" footage

The producers try to film a bit of background with Martin's mum; Martin asks them not to, but they insist that it'll be fine! She won't be mean in front of cameras! She'll be so proud of him! It can't be that bad! Spoiler alert: It is, and Martin slinks off to cry away from the cameras. They don't use that footage

So instead they film him at work. Tim and Sasha bully Jon into being polite, which means that Martin is extra blushing and awkward around him

They ultimately show a clip of Martin carrying a cup of tea and a home-baked biscuit in to Jon's office, and then bantering with Tim and Sasha over slices of cake in the break room

The hosts definitely tease him about where he works

Martin is definitely at least a finalist, so Tim and Sasha drag Jon to the final picnic; Jon is very awkward but genuinely congratulatory (after all, he has been bribed with increasingly elaborate baked goods for the past 10 weeks, who wouldn't warm up to Martin after that).

[campcampkirbykirbykirby]

Camp Camp Commentary Notes - Season 1, Episode 1: Escape from Camp Campbell

This is the first in a series of posts detailing the various nuggets of behind-the-scenes info found in the commentaries of the Camp Camp Seasons 1 and 2 Blu-Ray. I aim to cover both the writer commentary and cast & crew commentary of every episode in the set (except the holiday specials because they don't have commentaries GRRRR)

Writer’s Commentary

Writers went back to touch up this episode after completing the initial 10 episodes, before going on to the bonus 2 episodes that were greenlit following the positive reception

This episode went through about 12-14 drafts before it was finalized

Pilots are very hard because they both need to be very good and hook the audience so they will want to watch more, you have to juggle introducing all the necessary characters and telling a single solid story

Doubly so since this was the crew’s first shot at writing for an episodic series, all their other efforts had been story-driven up to that point

Irony in that the title of the first episode is about wanting to leave the camp (or show) entirely

Max and David’s dynamic is perfectly set up within 8 lines of dialogue

In older versions of the pilot, Mr. Campbell never showed up in person, only in the introductory video that was later repurposed into promotional material

Most of what was taken out of the pilot ended up being reused in some way, including the intro and the teaser trailer

One of the primary goals was to establish early on that this is not a kids show, like some people who saw the early promo material thought it was

This is why Max swears less than 40 seconds in, and why the rabbit gets swooped up by Timothy earlier (although I’d argue you could make that joke in a more family-friendly show)

First RT series produced in more of a writer’s room style akin to The Simpsons

The writers would come up with episode ideas, divy up who’d want what story, they’d write a first draft, come back to it, workshop the script several times, rinse and repeat until it devolved into Miles and Jordan doing final punch-ups and trimming

This pipeline allowed for lots of easter eggs and background details to be slipped in

Then they effectively do a table-read of the script which allows them to add more

Starting in Season 2, they started recording writer’s room conversations, so if something funny came up and they wanted to add it, they wouldn’t just have to go off of memory

Putting all the campers in the activities field doing their activities seemed like a good way to establish all of their respective camps.

Challenger II is Miles’ favorite visual gag (as of 2018, at least)

Working with Lee Eddy and Travis Willingham was great, Lee especially since they had previously worked with her for Red V.S. Blue

Travis was the first person who recorded for the show, as part of the aforementioned introductory video, and he was great at riffing and ad-lib

What exactly Camp Campbell was was foggy initially (whether or not it advertised that it was a camp of all camps), and the initial pilot didn’t explain it very well because they had built an internal understanding of what it was and didn’t do a very good job conveying it to the audience.

Mr. Campbell really likes the Quartermaster

Looking back on the first episodes is very interesting, especially when you have been working on the show for years at that point, for example, Max’s bond with Nikki hasn’t been established yet, so he has to ask why she’d help him.

Not enough time for the full theme song (hence why no intro), so they thought having Gwen interrupt it was funny

The scene where Max, Neil, and Nikki are running was seemingly the origin of Neil’s raptor arms (oh, excuse me, T-rex arms)

Ed, Edd ‘n’ Eddy was used as a reference for things like this because the Eds each had distinct walk cycles befitting their personality

First Day buttons were included so the campers would have a means to get away from the counselors

The music sting as the bus is driving away is a nod to the Back to the Future theme

Cast and Crew Commentary

Michael jokes about a sequel or prequel called “Max Max/Maximum Max”

The scream Miles did when David gets hit by the bus gets used quite a bit

The more Max’s parents push him away, the more he tries to cling to him, according to Maggie

Episode was supposedly recorded March 2016, ironically one of the last ones recorded

Recording for the series started November of 2015

Handheld camera movements in the mess hall scene were added by animator Gil Calceta

Lee Eddy was the only person who auditioned for Gwen, the crew saw it as perfect casting

Laserdisc player is not big enough for laserdisc

Campbell’s lazy wear (for lack of a better term) was only made for the one shot, though it would later comeback in Season 4

Michael initially auditioned for Camp Camp not really knowing what it was, and his script was just some typical Max phrases

Older episodes, Max was pitched up because Michael hadn’t quite perfected the voice yet

There was no helicopter assest created, it’s off screen and only implied by Campbell being pulled up by the ladder

The scene of Nikki throwing the button took 3 days to animate

The line “Go to bitch, jail” in the Camp Camp Rap Rap was an ad-lib/outtake

[lilyginnyblackv2]

Rei saw right through him:

Kazuki: “[...] and make it clear to everyone whose daughter is the best!” - He is talking about the lunch he made Miri (her bento). 

Rei: “You’re trying to get back on her good side.”

Kazuki looking shocked with his hands on his chest, looking like he has been shot.

Rei got a  🎯. And this is such a great scene of growth for both of them. With Kazuki, he has always been able to read Rei. He did as much in Episode One when Rei is sulking about the cat:

He’s good at understanding people and emotions, Rei isn’t. So Rei being able to read Kazuki in the above scene in Episode 6 says a lot about how he is growing on an emotional level. Emotional intelligence is a thing and something that can be learned. Rei never really learned it as a child because of his father and general upbringing, but because of Miri and because he is now a member of an actual family he is learning. 

As for Kazuki, back in Episode 4, on Miri’s first day of daycare, he brought a bento too. 

It was huge. It had three levels to it and Kazuki tries to be all, “Aw, there’s nothing special about this!” but the whole episode was about him trying to show off, rather than just be normal and authentic and nothing special.

The bento that Kazuki makes for Miri in this week’s episode (Episode 6) it is far less (only one level of food) and has a lot of quick and simple foods (wieners, fried chicken, beans), but there is still some craftsmanship put into this bento as well (the eggs making hearts and the panda onigiri). It feels much more authentic and from the heart, and more an appeal to Miri (which it is meant to be) rather than a one-up on the other moms at the daycare (like his Episode 4 bento was meant to be - the kids would go home, tell their moms about Miri’s bento, and impress them - that was what he intended). 

Mom’s one-upping each other through bento is an actual, legitimate problem, which is probably one of the reasons Miri’s daycare does a school lunch (with the exception of something like this, a field trip). There is a good article on this on NPR (I’ll link it below), here is an excerpt (kyara-ben is the name for the kind of bento Kazuki made above) :

The moms in Maruo's class say they don't do it every day, but on mornings they make kyaraben, they block out as much as 90 minutes to make lunch. And not every Japanese parent wants to do this — but the cultural pressure is high, because it's hard to be the parent whose kid has a lame lunch.

"I think it's oppressive," says Margarita Estevez-Abe, a political science professor at Syracuse University, who specializes in gender issues in Japan.

"In a sense, they have a lot of time on their hands and they are just putting their effort and time into creating and competing over who makes the best character bento box," Estevez-Abe says.

So yeah, it’s nice to know that Kazuki has grown a bit and that he is doing stuff more for Miri, rather for himself, though he still has to work a bit on making assumption. Of course, both Kazuki and Rei having their own flaws are important too and those flaws tend to play off each other nicely, while being fairly realistic (a little exaggeration here and there for comedy).

It’s also nice to see that, while Rei has grown a lot emotionally, he still does some things his own way. Take, for instance, the scene where the bus leaves for the field trip.

Many of the other moms are waving their kid good-bye, but Rei doesn’t. He also stands apart from them, because he seems to not really like being in large crowds. But that is shown as being perfectly fine here. None of the moms are judging him here (some are also not waving) and he just continues to do his own thing. And Miri likely knows that.

Anyway, I love how, with each episode, we see more and more growth with all of the characters (Miri included!) and how these three feel more and more like a family. I know that was one of the focuses of the series (”to become a family through raising a child”), and I think the series is really succeeding at this! 

[mulders-too-large-shirt]

s4 episode 2 thoughts

ah, this episode! i have heard it is very scary. so i’m curious to see how creepy it can be. usually what gets me the most is body horror, at least so far. 

i’m really not a horror fan so i’m interested to see if this will push my limits or just be kinda silly. remember that evil AI in like s1 episode 8? and when it was unplugged it said “noooo, brad :(“ or something like that? yeah that one just made me giggle lol

(author's note after seeing the episode: what...)

(additional author's note: read to the end to see why i think this episode might be actually about the civil war's long-term consequences)

how far we have progressed since then! 

let us begin!!!

we open with a storm and some scary music. pretty intense for the first few seconds. oh, now someone is giving birth. it is very dark and hard to see but it appears these individuals do not look like your average fellow off the street.

GAG! slurping noises are produced as the baby emerges. birth counts as body horror btw i do NOT make the rules. EUGH the umbilical cord…

(sorry y’all pls take no offense to those who have or desire children someday... it’s just something that makes me feel dizzy to watch but i support your dreams and choices i promise 🙏)

okay, but the baby is crying so that’s usually a good sign right? like better than a quiet baby, i think.

but a bunch of people are leaving after the delivery and i thought they would stick around to do things like look at the baby and see if it is healthy and stuff. but no. they’re leaving. where are they going...

they’re digging a hole?????? WHAT DA HELL. BABY IN THE HOLE??!!!!!! while someone cries terribly. OMG the grief…

WHAT THE HELL???

what have i gotten myself into……

intro time. always gonna think about that tweet regarding scully’s glamour shot on her ID. anyway just in case you forgot the truth IS out there.

so we see some kids in a place called home, pennsylvania, and they’re playing baseball. you know how children are, with their baseball. it’s as serious to them as a senator running a reelection campaign. 

kid knocks the ball over the fence, and onto the property of “the peacocks”. the kids will NOT go get the ball, and instead find a spare. seems they prepared for this, or could maybe find a place that isn’t next to a very scary house to play ball, but i understand spacial constraints.

OH???? the kid is digging his foot in to go swing and…. BLOODY PUDDLE???? THIS MUST BE THE BABY FROM BEFORE????

he backs away as we see a tiny hand in the dirt. that poor kid omfg he must have been traumatized… and his sneakers were so bright and white…..

cutscene to mulder in the field after all the kids have fled! ah, mulder loves his baseball. in fact, he even sniffs it. he’s practicing his pitching LMAOOOO please be serious for FIVE minutes. 

scully is measuring the hole while he does all this. in fact, he is not stopping. it just keeps going while she talks about the angle of the shovel.

she makes some quip about quitting the FBI and becoming a spokesperson for the ab roller, when he SHOVES THE BALL UNDER HER NOSE and says “smell that” THIS MAN IS SUUUUUCH A WEIRDO I LOVE HIM

“it’s perfume. eau de ball” (stupid little mulder smile)

very strong juxtaposition between baby death and a daydreaming mulder, but that is the sort of thing we have come to expect from this show. he seems enchanted.

WAIT! he’s talking about his sister… “all-day pickup games out on the Vineyard” and going down to the beach… no cell phones or faxes… oh man, this baseball has him talking about his family :(

“mulder, if you had to do without a cell phone for two minutes, you’d lapse into catatonic schizophrenia” <- WELL GET HIM! it is true. he is always making calls and then abruptly hanging up.

feels weird to be smiling like a fool at my screen as these two talk about their lives after seeing the opening scene... but here we are!

“scully, you don’t know me as well as you think you do. you know my work demands that i live in a big city, but if i had to settle down, build a home, it’d be a place like this” 

OHHHHH MY GOSH

1. he has though about settling down and having a life outside of his work, and this is such a character reveal, and i know he wants like a small army of children, and

2. i just KNOW those words are gonna come back and bite him when this place is revealed to be some sort of cult

she says it would be like living in mayberry which i had to google BUT: it is the town from the andy griffith show. ah, i see. so very quaint.

someone pulls up to see them and i paused at just the right time to see that mulder’s shirt is very baggy and living up to my URL, which is good because sometimes i worry it’s a bit TOO niche, but i made it after watching 4 episodes so i’m too attached to change it now. meanwhile, scully’s coat is wonderfully sleek and it’s a fun little contrast.

this is sheriff taylor, who says this is a very small town, and there are no real suspects. mulder asks about the peacocks next door, and the sheriff goes… quiet. apparently three boys lived there, and their parents were hurt in an accident. the sheriff and his team tried to administer care to the parents, but the boys took the bodies home??? that’s. odd.

so these peacocks have no electricity, grow their own food, and… are inbred. the sheriff says they are feeble and sad, and wouldn’t have any idea what they are talking about. which just makes me think they are the prime suspects.

the sheriff is saying that he loves his town, it is quiet and peaceful, and he knew someday it would change when something terrible happened. when he saw “it” in the ground, he knew that day had come. he seems convinced it’s an outsider but also he is purposefully ignoring all the evidence in the other direction. and he wants their help, but he doesn’t want anything to change. 

(i see... this is about the terrible secrets of small towns and the wish to keep everything quiet and preserve an idyllic image rather than make meaningful change)

apparently they were recommended to help out when “the victim” was described, so mulder says that maybe they should go take a look.

and whew, when they cut to a bundle of blankets next to some cans of spam (that look like they’re partially covered to hide the branding?) it’s a lot. it's a lot to handle, for me, emotionally, but i guess that's a fairly normal reaction. the sheriff just pulled the baby right out of the fridge. we also meet a deputy named barney.

they shove poor scully in a tiny bathroom with just a sink in it to do her work, because they don’t want anyone else seeing the autopsy go down. the sheriff says they can’t do it in his office, because everyone knows he never locks his office door, and they’d start rumors. this whole small town thing is starting to seem quite oppressive.

mulder is also here in this tiny closet-like bathroom, and i can feel the claustrophobia from here. despite the lack of space, scully begins.

and she is taken aback, but not as much by the fact that it is a child but that said child “has been afflicted by every rare birth defect known to science”. mulder has his arm on the wall leaning in and watching in a way that is weird for the space.

we only see a few shots of the baby- thankfully, because i don't think i could handle seeing any more of it than we do- but it’s enough to make me go whew, shout-out to the props department for making something that looks like that, because that is how i cope with seeing things on this show that make me nearly faint

she is reciting the various things that this child has been born with, and mulder says that they can probably rule out murder, right? but scully says idk… it looks like it WAS murder, actually. dirt in the nose.

lord, they walk out after doing that and somehow don’t need to like, down some vodka or something to cope. 

“imagine all a woman’s hopes and dreams for her child, and then nature turns so cruel. what must a mother go through?” oh my gosh is scully gonna make me cry…

“apparent not much in this case, if she just threw it out in the trash”, says mulder, while they sit on a bench on he is manspreading like you would not believe. but i assume they are in a tough spot mentally so manspreading is permitted in this situation.

“i guess i was just projecting on myself”, she says, and oh my gosh does scully want kids someday…. stop i’ll cry!! i’ll cry. 

“well, just find yourself a man with a spotless genetic makeup and a really high tolerance for being second-guessed and start pumping out the little uber-Scullys” he says, rubbing her back.

and i can’t decide if this is funnier if he’s truly and deeply down terrible for her and suggesting subtly that HE could be that man, or if he’s just being a really good pal. so i’m gonna turn around both options in my head for a while and see which sticks.

“what about your family?” “hm? aside from the need for corrective lenses and a tendency to be abducted by extraterrestrials involved in an international governmental conspiracy, the mulder family passes genetic muster” (said with a celebratory flourish of his hands)

oh my gooooooosh i love them both so bad. he is SUCH a nerd. and his constant need to joke about the horrible things… even when they are approaching a serious topic, life ambitions and the desire to start a family, he has to go in there with some sarcasm to avoid getting Too Serious...

see? he has good genes. allegedly. go forth.

but he sobers up, points out that the child they had to just examine is a serious tragedy, and some likely very young parents are probably incredibly scared. but this isn’t really an FBI matter. 10 points to him for being serious for once.

she is brainstorming how such a thing could happen- “now, we all have a natural instinct to propagate” “do we?” <- ace mulder subtext i see you…

scully is convinced that the woman who gave birth to that child did it against her will, and mulder points out that kidnapping is a bureau matter… she seems determined to save someone caught in a horrible circumstance here, and i admire that about her, the sense of justice she has. she gets up to go investigate.

but he calls out: “hey scully- i never saw you as a mother before” <- OH MY GOD??? OH MY GOD. i can’t even begin to process that right now. oh my gosh it seems like he has wanted kids SO terribly… but scully never really brought the subject up, which is fine because not everyone wants kids!! but what does it say about her character if she DOES…? i am analyzing.

i hope she is happy someday with whatever she chooses. music is playing as he looks after her. do not for a second think i missed that little musical flourish and gaze combo.

so, they go to the peacock's farm. where they find a chopped off pig’s head on the steps. it doesn’t seem to bother them at all, which must be a testament to the strength of bureau training.

mulder tries to do his usual “enter first and ask questions later” thing, but scully STOPS HIM, saying there is no probable cause.

WHAT!!! for once they did NOT JUST BURST IN!!??? their random entering of places is one of my favorite running gags and for once they didn’t. oh she is serious about this one…

so they just peek inside instead…. and then they get their guns and go inside after seeing a table covered in blood. oh…. the scissors from before…. yes, bloody table = probable cause

there is blood everywhere, and the footprint from the crime scene matches the footprint in blood on the floor. AND they find a bloody shovel. well!!! we know who did it now!!! but… where are they??

it is soooo dark and creepy as they make their way through the house. and someone is WATCHING THEM THE DARK as they investigate. BLEUGH we get an extreme closeup on their eyes…….

i am spooked.

now scully is on the phone with sheriff taylor, who is describing the warrants for the arrest of the peacocks he put out, while mulder slams a TV in their hotel room, trying to get it to work. typical mulder behavior

(i bet they felt a need to incorporate some silly moments to lighten out the heavy heavy heavy content, and honestly i didn't think it would work, but for me it kinda is. don't get me wrong, it's still VERY heavy, but it's not start to finish just trauma like we got in calusari, which stands out to me as being the darkest and least fun episode in the series so far. but let mulder sniff a baseball a little and smack a TV and our agents talk about having a family and it is slightly less overwhelming in terms of tone)

and she brings up the white cadillac they found there but he says get a lot of abandoned cars. damn, who is abandoning a cadillac...

what is this sheriff hiding…?

he pulls out his gun from a locked box, and seems deeply regretful. before he puts it back in the box… hmm…

back at the peacock farm. the brothers are packing what looks like clubs into the cadillac. and i notice how silent and scary the whole thing is… no music whatsoever.

meanwhile, mulder is doing a little dance to try and get the TV working, which scully is smiling at him in a way that implies long term affection and exhaustion. i want to get those gifs and save them upon my blog forever and ever.

he’s trying to watch the knicks game, but as she heads out, he says “goodnight mom”, and she looks… uncomfortable. i mean, it’s a weird thing to say, but still. he says a lot of weird things and she doesn’t always look sort of… hmm. idk, the only phrase that comes to mind is “cut to the quick”. i WILL be analyzing that.

she tries to leave and the lock is broken, so he places a chair underneath, which might do something but like… probably not a ton.

anyway, back to the cadillac, where the brothers are pulling out while listening to music. where are they going….

sheriff taylor is up late at night, “taking one last look around before it all changes”. oh, he loves his town… but it is rotten, like mulder says. AND HIS WIFE DOESN’T LOCK THE DOOR AS THEY COME IN!!! NOOOO!

the brothers are on the move, while scully sleeps and mulder watches a fuzzy documentary on hyenas?? okay. king behavior.

but back at the sheriff’s house, he can hear the brothers approaching, and pulling into his yard. oh no…. he looks out the window and the brothers aren’t there. so did they already get in…?

he’s going for the gun, he says, and they enter his house. and he’s got a baseball bat, but where is the gun! they have clubs! like the kind the bad guys in zelda use!!! they look very very dangerous!

he hears them approach as his wife is under the bed……… and he swings his bat at the intruder, but he is barreled right over, it’s three on one, and they beat him RIGHT AS HIS WIFE SEES THE WHOLE THING FROM UNDER THE BED. and they sniff and sniff and FIND HER UNDER THERE????????

what the fuck. who came up with this…….. that song is still playing as they get in their car and leave. i'm sure the song also has some significance to the meaning of what these guys are doing but tbh i have never heard it before so it's hard to unpack.

the deputy is at the scene of the crime the next day, smoking a cigarette, hands shaking in terror. he had come over to give the sheriff a report… and found them that way.

so the owner of the cadillac was found in baltimore, she had left it behind after running out of gas. this is not a lead in the slightest.

mulder is investigating the scene while scully pulls out files from the crime lab, and it is. well, it is very bad, to put it bluntly. the crime scene is horrific. 

she says that the crime scene messed up the tests on the infant… but mulder proposes that… perhaps each of the brothers were the father? she talks about how babies are made and how that makes no sense, but he proposes that generations of inbreeding could maybe make such a mutation. but she says that isn’t possible, they’d need a female family member and there aren’t any left. hmm...

scully wants to try and trail them right now and go save whoever it was that was forced to give birth, but mulder points out that they are outnumbered and could further endanger the victim. what to do…? i don’t know the answer. 

oh! the deputy barges in and says he’ll take them up there so it’s three against three. and they have guns, which should give them the advantage. okay. shoutout to the deputy.

mulder seems suspicious however, and says his suddenly entry was a bit “too chuck bronson for me”. so yeah, i had to google that too. this chuck fellow is the guy from machine gun-kelly. and NOT that sleazy rapper one. the more you know.

scully is confused, though, because why would they kill the sheriff? he didn’t even investigate them. unless they somehow overheard them talking about issuing the arrest warrants while in their house… and they are operating under the assumption that the brothers were not in the house when they were…. but we know that someone was in hiding!!!

OH! back to the house. one of the brothers declares he is hungry. we finally get a semi-decent look at them, and they are incredibly gruesome. someone is under the bed still…. 

and when they declare that they are “ready”, they strip down. they knew this day- and change- was coming, and all they can do is be ready for it. this is our home. and this is the way it’s gonna stay. 

again, i ask, who came up with this……

the deputy and our agents are on the property, now. deputy wants to come in from the front and let them take the back. a brave thing to offer, but i am slightly suspicious of him. they have wired headsets on and bullet proof vests on, and he is going in.

so they’re approaching- scully and mulder in the field, the deputy out in front. scully is peeking through binoculars but she doesn’t see anyone inside!!! it has to be a trap!!!!

OH MY GOSH!!! just as scully tells the deputy to not go in, he opens the door and an AXE SWINGS DOWN AND CHOPS HIS HEAD OFF!!!!!

i am sorry for being suspicious of you, deputy. may you rest in peace.

mulder’s reciting his facts from the hyena documentary. they are witnessing something akin to prehistoric humanity. but he has an idea: divert them out of the house, so they don't have to deal with their traps. it is a good idea.

so they are sneaking into the pig pen, which had to be a pain to shoot. “scully, would you think less of me as a man if i told you i was kind of excited right now?” he asks as they try to get the pigs in a line to topple like dominoes or something???

“is there some secret farmer trick to getting these things moving?” “i don’t know!” lmaooo these city slickers...

they’re shoving pigs straight out the gate, and she’s trying to say some magic pig words from babe, which her nephew apparently watches all day. you know what that means...

! SCULLY LORE REVEAL ! she has a nephew!

but there are more pressing matters at hand than a lore reveal as one of the brothers emerges, falling for their piggy trap. we see them in daylight now, and it is an unsettling sight. 

as the brothers try to herd the pigs back in, the agents sneak in, with mulder picking up a giant log to poke open the door. and it is a good thing he did that, because a trap descends right on the log that surely would have beheaded him as it did the deputy if not for the log taking the axe/weapon thingy for him. thank you for your service, giant log.

they sneak in beneath the log and close the door as if nothing went down. scully is yelling to see if anyone is in the house. they’re doing a sweep in excellent coordination. mulder mumbles “oh no” and i’m scared but he just picks up a newspaper that says elvis is dead and frowns 😭 his ass cannot be serious for more than five minutes 

but something approaches!!!! they enter the bedroom and see photos of generations and generations of this family, with varying conditions. and at this moment mulder notices that someone is under the bed!!

he’s trying to say that they’re here to help, but whoever is down there is screaming, screaming at them to go away. so scully tries to move the bed, but she’s strapped to a board underneath the bed, and they pull her out and…. oh my gosh, she has no limbs, i think? it’s dark and hard to tell. they keep her under the bed..........

mulder says they’re going to get her home, but after a glance at the pictures on the wall, scully says that she already IS home. it’s mrs. peacock. the mother of the family that they thought died in the car accident!!!!!!

she is sobbing and they roll her back under the bed, with mulder having a horrific look on his face, unable to process what he just saw. 

mulder is back on the prowl to find the other brothers. and he tasks scully with trying to convince mrs. peacock that she is the only one who can get “her boys” out of here without them being hurt. a mighty task, indeed.

she walks away, and he says “scully, w-watch your step” and he’s worried about her and i want to cry. oh!! we see a trip wire……….

so scully goes back to mrs. peacock, explaining that she needs medical attention, and the agents are here to help. she says that this is their home- why leave it? she has to see if the boys are okay. 

and she lost her limbs in the accident that killed her husband. “sewed me up just like the family learned in the war of northern aggression” OH! so that is an WILD thing to say in pennsylvania. but it was at this point i thought i was putting the pieces together for an extended metaphor...

but she insists she felt no pain, and that no one in the family does. and they’re such good boys. scully points out they murdered three people, and mrs. peacock says she can tell scully has no children, but maybe someday she’ll learn the pride and the love “when you know your boy will do anything for his mother”

well i think you probably just made her swear that off forever!!! so!!!!!

the brothers see mulder in the window, and they start to run in. and as he holds one at gun point, another tries to bash in his head, so scully shoots him. but this isn’t enough to take him down! and the other one joins in on their attack, so it’s two against one tag teaming mulder!!! oh my gosh scully can you use your perfect aim???

yes, she can, but despite emptying the whole clip, they aren’t hurt!!! 

they’re running and running and dodging a whole lot of terrible blows, and scully yells out that she has the mother! she trips over the wire and one of the traps falls RIGHT into one of the brothers, seemingly finally taking him out.

she notices marks on the floor, and when they go back for mrs. peacock, they can’t find the other brother or the mother.

so they put out an APB for them, saying that in time, they’ll catch them. but he counters with “i think time already caught them, scully”

cutscene to the cadillac- where mrs. peacock says that “sherman and george were good boys”- SHERMAN? a union name? edmund, sherman, and george… 

it ends with mrs. peacock saying that there will be more peacocks, and they have to find a new home, make a new family to be proud of. she is in the trunk of the car while she says this.

okay so first thoughts: WHAT THE FUCK.

this episode definitely lived up to its horrific reputation. but i can’t figure out exactly what it is it MEANS!

beyond exploring the horrific topics of generational abuse, i feel that there is something a bit deeper going on here. i actually felt so compelled to see if i was imagining things that i went on the wikipedia page for the episode, which spoke of its themes on the american dream and the nuclear family. those themes i see for sure- how mulder was talking about settling down in a place like this, so quaint and quiet, how they started discussing their own desire for a family, and how every idyllic thought about what a family could be was upended on its head with the peacocks. that made sense to me. but...

that line- “the war of northern aggression”- was what the confederates called the american civil war to justify their rebellion. this is notable for the fact that this whole episode took place in pennsylvania, which was a union state- but somehow, they got so twisted up in their own hatred that they’re parroting the lost cause ideology over a century after the war.

the repeated motifs of “things being the way they are in a small town, in our town, in our home”- is that a symbol for the festering of post-civil war wounds? the inability for the war to make meaningful change when it came to the attitudes of the people on the losing side, who continue- even to this day- to spew their hateful ideology? the inbreeding metaphor- is that a representation of how hate begets hate begets hate, generation after generation, compounding and corrupting by the lack of intervention from outsiders who are too afraid to change “the way things are” and call out harmful behavior? and the newspaper from elvis’s death… is that another allusion to the family (or perhaps certain parts of the country) living entirely in the past, in addition to their lack of electricity and water, just stewing in their own hatred? even the name- home- reminds me of the “house divided cannot stand” rhetoric. is this talking about the rot of "back in the good ol' days" thinking?

or if not a metaphor for the country, and instead just the horror of abuse? of how people can feel that things are the way that they are, and so that makes it correct, no matter what the cost? about how warped perceptions of family can be made and shaped? and the fact that mrs. peacock went along with all of this, despite being the biggest victim of the family... is that to speak on the twisted nature of gender roles and how they are weaponized in familial abuse?

i have to clarify that i am not an expert on abuse in the slightest; i am just trying to work through the themes of what i just saw. you know how it is on this blog; i do my best to interpret the big issues, but also recognize that i can only see and comment upon so much.

i'm really, really curious to hear how you interpreted the episode, though. or how audiences have understood it in the past, or if it has ever been re-evaluated. what did the cast and crew have to say on it? i want to know.

man. this is gonna really make me ponder. i want to know. it was too purposeful to just be a “wouldn’t it be fucked up if…” sort of situation.

regardless of the terror, i actually thought this episode was pretty good. it felt cohesive, not just a sideshow of horrible things to make you feel shocked. and we learned more about our characters- their ambitions in life, the possibility of a family someday dangling over their heads, and the terror associated with everything that could go wrong. i think there is always some fear about starting a family (i wouldn't know, but i do read books and stuff), and for scully to just now vocalize her thoughts on the subject and to immediately see this case- i can only imagine what it did to her thought process.

i thought the more light-hearted elements were working at the beginning- mulder's TV dance, baseball time, the merits of their genetics, family talk- worked well at first. but by the end it was just... damn. that was a lot. maybe that is the indication of a successful episode, that it can take you along heavy subject matter with a sense of character analysis and horror, but end with just terror.

i'm not a horror fan outside of this show, so the balancing of the heavy and the humor always baffles me a little bit. i don't know how other materials do it, so i can't really say if it could have been done better or worse. i think the important part though is that they don't turn the tragedy itself into the joke. it wasn't giving "point and laugh at the horrible peacock family!" it was finding humor in other situations, that ultimately still surrendered to the sober feeling of what humanity can do.

whew. this one is definitely gonna stick with me for a while, and i’ll need like 12 hours to formulate my thoughts into something comprehensible. but, you ask, did you like the episode?

yes! while i'm not sure i'd watch it again for funsies, i thought our agents had to confront some inner demons while also learning a lot about them together and individually, which is exactly the thing i want in an episode. i think it brought them closer and they understand each other better, and i think we're getting into some real juicy parts of their relationship. i can't stop thinking about him rubbing her back- how terribly devoted they are to each other, regardless of if either of them can put that into words. those dynamics of devotion that go beyond words- it's so special to me.

and sure, i'll take the bait, and daydream about them living together... i am not above fan service in the slightest. it is me, the fan, who loves to be serviced.

but again. i'm spooked.

[xchronicles]

I need to get all my thoughts out so I can refocus on my work. It’s also in the creative field, and I can't think about it if I’m stuck in a JC loop xD

I wanna talk about why I know Chakotay is inlove with Janeway and why I don’t question that aspect of the show. I’ll just take Cracked Mirror as an example:

It's been made clear how Chakotay feels about Janeway. We never got to hear what he told Holo Janeway or the kids during their time on Ysida, but we did see the results of their conversations. First, Dal jokes about the Admiral’s Ready Room, and then Gwyn pushes him to stop teasing Chakotay about being all pampered up in such a direct way. Gwyn does also encourage Chakotay by saying he looks great. Instead of feeling shy, he actually asks them if he looks like he’s trying too hard? They know what’s up. This isn’t news to them. That’s when Holo Janeway shows up, asking, “Is that a bad thing?” She’s implying that it’s good that he’s trying hard because it makes his intentions and feelings clear. Chakotay then admits he wishes he could’ve come back sooner, with fewer gray hairs, clearly worrying about how Janeway will feel about him. Will she still find him attractive? After all, he is 10 years older. Holo Janeway comforts him, saying there’s no point dwelling on what could’ve been. There’s no ambiguity in this scene - it makes Chakotay’s feelings clear. He wants to look good because he’s concerned about how Admiral Janeway will perceive him. Will she still find him attractive? He’s worried, and you don’t worry about whether a friend finds you attractive - that’s a romantic concern.

Then, after Janeway and Chakotay finally reunite, Gwyn tells Dal that she had told him she could handle going through different realities. Dal replies that it wasn’t her he was worried about; he was concerned about Chakotay. Knowing how Chakotay feels about Janeway, Dal was afraid of what it would do to Chakotay, having to face more realities where Janeway was either dead or missing. Dal was genuinely worried about how much more loss Chakotay could take. In the following episode, Dal hears Chakotay laughing in the mess hall with Janeway. Gwyn notices his attention on them and also takes a look. Seeing Janeway grab Chakotay’s hand makes her smile. Both Gwyn and Dal are clearly happy that Janeway and Chakotay are finally together. They know how Janeway and Chakotay feel about each other and are happy for them, regardless of whether Janeway and Chakotay have discussed it yet.

Bonus point: the way he intimately clasps her hand with both of his when he gives her his CHAH-mooz-ee followed by a shy smile and calling her his home. Dude is head over heels. Just like with his warrior story, he's telling her how he feels in non-direct ways in hopes that she will understand him.

That's it. I think this is where I take a break from this because I really need to get back to work and shift my focus away from it. I've been at it for the past few days, and I'm happy I have been because I don't remember the last time creativity hit me this hard.

Chakotay loves Janeway in every single way, including romantically. No questions about it. Where Janeway stands, though, depends on whether Mulgrew or the Hagemans allow her to break free from the constraints she's been tethered to for being a woman.

[gofishygo]

I think I might have a good request. Ghost or Gaz with a gentle wife who rambles a lot and just talks to herself, like she’s stuck in her own world. Thanks <3

whoever anon is , u cooked so so hard on this !! reader is literally me 哈哈哈哈 ^^ im not too sure whether u want headcannons or fanfic, but I feel like hcs would be great 4 this :3

kyle ‘gaz’ garrick w/ gentle absentminded reader (wc: 

notes: not proofread, reader is intended 2 be fem but can be anything, somewhat protective gaz?, brief mentions of violence (blood + death [no specified character])

reader, i hope you know that you're this man's achilles heel. The most precious thing in his life, the heart that he so fiercely protects underneath the tac vest he wears in his deployments.

you're such a fragile presence in this world, no blood staining your feet as you tread on blood soaked grounds, eyes fixed on whatever scene was in your head instead of the carnage and bloodshed that would usually manage to bleed behind anyone's eyes. You're a precious soul, and kyle worries because of it.

never because of you, of course. Kyle thinks you’re the best thing he'd laid his eyes upon; soft yet sparkling eyes, soft voice a soothing hand on his shoulder, the crinkle in the skin near the corner of your eyes when you gave a whole, sweet smile a remedy to the heaving ache left in his heart after months of ivory in his nose and the head-splitting ring of alarms in his ears. He's so glad that you're always there after deployment, a teary yet relieved smile on your face, how you nuzzled your head in the crook of his neck for the first time since deployment. He always held you so tightly in those moments, with one of his hands brandishing the silver band on your fourth finger. 

absentmindedness is something that’s dangerous, deadly in his field- a missed shot from a sniper or wrong turn of the head could result in a unit being wiped, something that Kyle had seen happen too many times to fellow teammates and old allies. But with you, it felt less like a danger and more of a somewhat amusing trait. your pretty head resting against his chest, gaze wandering across the room at their own pace- except of the papers you were meant to fill out hours ago.

he helps coax you out of your zoney episodes when necessary, gently taking your hand into his and muttering a soft inquiry of your name.

 your rambles soothe him, voice so soft and gentle, with that distinct tone that soothes rabid dogs and a soft melody to his ears. It's white noise to him, and during long, bloodstained nights on missions, his world feels disturbingly silent without it.

but he doesn’t let your little tangents go into one ear and out the other. He remembers the things that you mention no matter how insignificant or foolish it is. When you had mentioned a trinket that you liked during a (mostly one sided [in a good way]) conversation, Kyle immediately seared it's description into his mind, slipping a reminder to search for it into his head.

needless to say, the closed-eyed, joyful grin and the way your eyes lit up was absolutely worth the hell of filtering through images for hours when you took the gift into your hands.  

he loves you wholly and truly. From the slightly distracted tiny smiles to the quiet spillings through your lips. He'll make sure both of you know that every single day for the rest of your lives.

[countrymusiclover]

11 - Changing the Game

Part 12

It’s About Time

What other episodes do you want me to include?? I am wanting to write them at 17 years old already so I might do a time skip unless y’all have anymore episodes you’d like me to include when they aren’t 17.

Georgie and I hadn’t really talked in deep conversation about whatever our feelings were. We had been working in Dale's shop for a few weeks now. So only small talk when the other needed help with a customer. 

Rounding the counter top I handed a person back their change before I eyed the clock seeing it was time for me to be off of work. “That’s my shift. Georgie I’ll see you tomorrow.” I headed towards the front door about to leave.

“Y/n, hang on a sec. Can I talk to you real quick?” He made me pause from pushing open the door to leave. 

I clicked my tongue looking over my shoulder at him. “I guess so. But make it quick I have to meet your sister before she tries out.” 

“Yeah I heard that was today. But I was thinking if you’re free afterwards that we could hang out.” Georgie shrugged his shoulders standing a few steps away from me. 

I clicked my tongue feeling uneasy about talking with him right now. I wasn’t brave enough to tell him how I really felt and I wasn’t sure that I would ever get there. “I’ll see if I’m free, Georgie. But I - uh should go. I promised I wouldn’t be late.” Pushing the door opened the young Cooper watched his best friend leave the store and he dropped the half smile on his face knowing he needed to say something sooner rather than later. 

George sr, Missy and I got out of his truck  before I watched Missy slam the backdoor behind her including her bedroom door in anger. Waiting outside her room i wasn't sure what to say listening to the parents talk about what happened in the kitchen. Memaw's shoes quickly stomped down the hallway pushing the door open. “You want to be on that baseball team?”

“Yes, but the coach said-” Missy sat up on her bed. 

Connie cut her granddaughter's words. “I don't care what he said get your glove, let's go.”

She got up from the bed coming to meet me in the hallway until Sheldon spoke up. “Missy..”

She halted glaring at him. “What?”

He sent her a good boost of confidence rather than a snarky comment. “Do good baseball.”

Connie, Missy and I got in her car driving to the baseball field where the coach was.  I gasped in surprise seeing that the coach was in fact my boss at the sporting good’s store. Connie stomped up to him while he was packing the back of his truck. “You tell my granddaughter she can't play baseball?”

“Oh, well, I was just looking out for her, that's all.” My boss responded to her. 

Connie snapped back. “Is that so? Well, we don't need you deciding what's best for her.”

“What do you need?” He asked. 

Connie nodded her head poking her index finger into his chest. “I need you to give her the same chance you would a boy!”

“Or what?” He challenged her. 

But she wasn’t going down without a fight. “Or you and me gonna have problems.”

“Well, we wouldn't want that, would we?” Dale picked up a ball and glove handing it to her. 

“No, we wouldn't.” She takes the gear  coming over to the two of us. Handing it to Missy she stands beside me and behind the young girl. “Fire it in there, baby.”

“I'm scared.” Missy put the ball in one hand and slipped the glove on her opposite looking at my boss but didn't throw it immmedatly. 

Connie faced her granddaughter looking her dead in the eye. “Meemaw has just made a scene. Now is not the time to be scared!”

“Come on, Missy just picture me down there. Throw the ball to me.” I encouraged the girl knowing that she had really impressive aim. 

Missy takes a breath before launching the ball directly into his glove. I jumped up in the air cheering for her while Connie removed her sunglasses teasing the coach. “I'm just a girl. But I think that’s called a Strike.” 

It had been a few days since she made the team and today was her first game. All of us were gathered together in the metal bleachers. Missy came out of the dug out with a red helmet on her head and a gray baseball bat in hand. She was in white pants, an orange shirt and her hair was braided down her back when she walked towards the mount. “Let's go, Missy!” Connie cheered standing beside me. 

“Go get 'em, Missy!” Her dad hollered while I stood as close to the metal fence as possible to see the game. 

The other team's pitcher threw a ball where she ducked underneath it and the umpire behind her caught the ball. “Ball.”

“Whoa.” Her mother gasped. “Oh! Dear Lord.”

Dale, who was the coach, remained calm as best he could. “Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Hold it.”

“It happens. She's okay. Brush it off, Missy!” Missy’s dad touched his wife’s arm, not concerned about this. 

The pitcher launched the ball again before Missy ducked a second time since the ball was directly heading for her face. “Ball.”

“What the hell?” Connie jumped up to stand. 

George Sr raised his voice. “Son of a bitch.” 

“Ballard, you gonna let them give her a black eye or am I gonna have to come out there and kick their asses!” 

My boss raised his hands understanding the frustration. “Hey! Hey, hey, hey. Hold it. We talked about this. Cooper!” He called her name where we saw Missy run forward and tackled the pitcher into the dirt beginning to hit him with her fists. 

“Hell yeah!” I throw my hands up in the air in victory that she was standing up for herself. 

Coach Ballard shakes his head. “Ah, well, here we go.”

“Eat dirt. Eat it.” Missy said shoving his face in the dirt. 

Connie cheered her on. “Kick his ass!”

“Does it taste good? Huh?” Missy teased. 

Dale chimed in. “Yeah, listen to your meemaw. Kick his ass!”

“You gonna cry? Huh? Do it. Cry.” Missy noticed some tears coming down the boys face. 

Her mom didn't want to watch the scene before her looking at her husband. “Do something. Break it up.”

“H-Hang on. She's winning.” But all he could feel was proud of his little girl. 

“Missy! Missy Cooper, you stop beating up that boy!” Mary shouted not enjoying her see her daughter beating up a boy over a baseball game. 

Connie shouted back. “Punch him in the nuts!” 

After Missy was thrown out of the game I had to go home for dinner and everyone had to get ready for school and work the next morning. Laying on my bed with my bedroom door closed I was eating some Fritos and finishing up the math homework I had left until I heard someone knocking on my window in the middle of the night. “What the heck is going on?” 

The knocking occurred a few more times where I could see someone out there so I got up and opened the window. Shifting my gaze around I could see someone hanging off the tree that was near my window. “Y/n!” I recognized Georgie’s voice coming through the night sky. 

“Georgie, are you insane? Get in here.” I gasped holding out my hand for him to take as he crawled over on one of the limbs until I yanked him inside my window and we tumbled to the floor where I prayed we didn't wake up my parents. 

He got up off the floor using his knees tugging me up to stand with him. “I need to talk with ya about something.” 

“Hold up.” I moved around my bed flipping the lamp light on. “It’s the middle of the night. Did something really bad happen?” 

He shakes his head no. “Nah nothing bad. But there's something I need to tell you.” 

“Okay. What is it?” I asked, sitting down on the edge of the bed. 

Georgie ran a hand through his hair and he slumped his shoulders heavily before the words I wasn’t expecting fell out of his mouth. “I have feelings for you.” 

“What kind of feelings?” I questioned him not believing what he uttered next to me after all this time. 

Georgie nervously responded with a blush on his face. “The more than best friends kind of feeling.” I hung my mouth opened so unclear of my next response to my best friend. 

Comments really appreciated ❤️

Tags just ask - @lover-of-books-and-tea @bvbwestfall @bubble-bluee @liesanddreams @bethanymccauley @skeletonontheroad @ashsallyblue2

[oneatlatime]

The Earth King

As always, commentary off.

No. Sokka. No. Stop. This is your stupidest idea yet. I want to LEAVE Ba Sing Se.

Sokka. Listen to your sister. And your other sister.

Toph embodying my will manifested on screen.

What makes you think the Earth King is going to listen to four teens and their fluffy dog? When I put it that way, this is Scooby Doo. Scooby Doo plus Momo. Does that make Momo Scrappy Doo?

We're going back to Ba Sing Se. Great. Yay. I'm so excited.

It is rapidly becoming apparent that Sokka has lost his mind.

Surface to air rocks is funny. I'll give it to them, that's good.

This fight scene music is fantastic.

Aang took a level in badass at some point without my noticing.

I know these hats are inspired by real historical hats, and so I really shouldn't make fun, but these look like the lovechild of a toilet brush and a feather duster.

This fight is majority Toph and Katara. RIP the egos of these several hundred Earth Kingdom soldiers.

Please ensure your fluffy little butt is securely stored in the overhead bins before takeoff.

There's no way these guys are still alive. This is what was done to Jet, doubled. They dead.

The girl who doesn't even want to be here is doing all the work. Typical.

My congratulations to Toph, Katara, and Aang for demolishing an army without breaking a sweat. If only season 1 Katara could see you guys now.

I said in my previous write up that Zuko doing something good always comes back to bite him. I didn't mean it this literally. Did he have to take the jug out with him, or was that for the drama?

Good job guys!

Soka steals my job and points out the fulfillment of the Beat Up Sokka quota.

His earthiness has an interesting set of priorities.

So... is this episode just going to be talking?

He brainwashed your friend? Did you miss that he killed him too?

I said in my last write up that Long Feng was Avatar's first competent villain, but the tone he takes with the Earth King is so unsubtle that I'm thinking of rescinding that claim. Unless the King is so dumb that subtlety isn't required?

Toothprints. Sokka the idea guy coming in clutch. Too bad his brain wasn't engaged at the start of the episode.

Appa is a herbivore. Confirmed. Although he should have fangs for aesthetic reasons. Fanged Appa would be metal.

This king is a confusing mixture of endearing and infuriating.

No mere fever will prevent me from doing mundane actions in the most dramatic way possible!

Way back in the 90s there was a print ad for Chevy trucks that I remember seeing in magazines. It had a shirtless guy in jeans sitting on the bed of his truck in a field, pouring a bucket of water over himself. It was kind of at sunset and had a very late summer vibe. I had completely forgotten about it until I saw Zuko's bucket shenanigans in this scene, at which point I was abruptly -ABRUPTLY- reminded of how much time little me spent staring at that ad.

OH MY GOD. The King doesn't know about trains!!! BLASPHEMY.

Huh. So the King isn't stupid, he's just horrifically naive.

Positive attitude Sokka is kind of frightening. I do not like.

If I told this King that I had a bunch of puppies in my windowless van, he would totally fall for it. So much about the Earth Kingdom suddenly makes sense.

That one guard is having a doozy of a day.

Did the King just show a smidge of self-awareness? Wasn't expecting that.

Who is this? I have no idea who this is. I didn't realise how integral the scar was to the character's design. Give it back.

Yikes. A bunch of shmymbolism. I suck epically at decoding shmymbolism unless it's really spoon fed to me, so I'm not even going to try to understand this dream beyond 'poor guy has a really bad fever.'

Has anyone seen the Spencer Tracy movie Father of the Bride? There's a bit where he has a dream that the floor on the way to the altar does pretty much exactly this. Hungry floors must be a common dream experience.

Pretty.

If the King is really this completely ignorant of the war, who's been directing the army?

It's pretty neat that Sokka is the spokesperson of Team Avatar, and that no one disputes that.

Aang says "there's a comet coming this summer," but I heard "comic" and I know they made tie in comics for the show, so I was like "ooh a crossover episode!"

"You're already vulnerable. The Fire Nation won't stop until the Southern Water Tribe falls. You can either sit back and wait for that to happen, or take the offensive, and give yourself a fighting chance." -Sokka's dad speaking to the men of the Southern Water Tribe, while his son listens perhaps a bit too closely.

If the King really was completely in the dark about the war, how does he even know who the General is? Did Long Feng have the power to keep the General from mentioning the war?

"Your majesty I'm General How, head of the Council of Five." "What's that?" "It's in charge of your army." "Right. And what's the army up to these days?" ... " ...I planted a lovely tomato garden this year."

I love that earthbenders don't wear shoes, and that it's culturally normal. Makes an intriguing visual contrast to their fancy duds.

I have GOT to know what Mushi the teamaker's secret file says.

Toph can't read guys.

Sokka, Katara, I get it. You miss home too. But how would anyone at all from your tribe know to send a message for you to Ba Sing Se? Last time you all touched base, you were headed to the Northern Water Tribe. And those guys sent you off to Omashu, not Ba Sing Se.

Nitpick time! Katara starts reading the text of this letter out loud before she unrolls it.

Katara's voice acting while she's reading the letter is sweet. She's so excited.

Iroh. Priorities. Tea can wait.

"Huh? What's happening?" "You huffed a bit too much cave slime under Lake Laogai. Just ride it out."

This vase is lit like a main character.

"You're going through a metamorphosis my nephew." Iroh, he's a bit too old for that talk. Hang on I just realised that Zuko went through puberty on that ship. I bet that was rough.

I don't trust this. This news is all too good.

Aang referring to them all as "the family" hurts a little bit.

It is unbearably sweet to let Sokka go see their dad while Katara helps the Earth Kingdom plan, but Katara sucks at planning. Then again, the Earth Kingdom sucks in general, so maybe having a sucky planner will be a net improvement?

Either way it's good little sister content.

But there are six Kyoshi warriors. I counted in Appa's Lost Days.

Oh they didn't

Attack hug!

Airbender Zuko is a very effective jumpscare. Don't blame him for freaking out.

You know it's bad when finding the scar intact comes as a relief.

Nope. Don't trust it.

Fuck this guy.

Long Feng even eats rocks maliciously.

Fuck these guys.

Oh they did. Fuck these guys.

Final Thoughts

And just like that, it all went to shit. Or it will.

I was braced to be annoyed by how conveniently quickly the Earth King got with the program, but it actually fits well into the rest of the episode. Instead of a thing that goes improbably well, it's the one thing that goes right in episode filled with set up for everything falling apart. That bothers me less.

This episode was actually fun. At least until the end. It was mostly talking and Zuko on a bad trip. But it was win after win for everyone but my Ba Sing Se hating self, and it's always good to see your favourites having a good day. But! I have a glimmer of hope! So long as Sokka and Aang aren't completely written out until they return to Ba Sing Se, at some point I'll get some episodes outside of the city. And I have Appa back, so things aren't too bad in the grand scheme of things. I wonder that Appa wasn't upset at having all his people back for five minutes then having them split up again.

I do not like positive thinking Sokka, and I especially don't like that I have no idea where he came from. That point wasn't set up at all. I want my baby cynic back.

If letting Appa go was enough to trigger Zuko's morality crisis to the point of physical illness, why didn't letting Aang go in The Blue Spirit, or choosing to chase after Iroh rather than the Gaang in The Winter Solstice Part 1, cause a similar illness? What is different about this time?

Toph was once again the voice of reason in this episode, or rather my personal audience insert. Although it did surprise me how excited she was to see her mom. I thought that sending bounty hunters after their own daughter was kind of unforgivable, but either Toph doesn't know, or she's a more forgiving person than I am.

I realise now that this should have occurred to me when I watched Appa's Lost Days, but what idiot didn't take the Danger Ladies into custody when the Drill was stopped? btw I keep calling them the PowerPuff Girls in my head.

This episode was simultaneously a finale to a lot of threads and an introduction to a lot more. It was a chance to breathe between crossing the finish line of the 'find Appa' quest and starting the 'season finale' quest. It was also structured backwards. The big fight was like six minutes in. The 'what are we doing this episode?' was one of the last scenes. But it still works. I'll be interested to see what I think of this one when I rewatch it. It was such an info dump that I wonder if my opinion of it will be different once I watch it with all of the relevant facts known to me already. Either I'll appreciate the episode's other parts like the comedy, or I'll be bored. We'll see.

Two episodes left this season! I don't think I'll be getting to those before next year. See you all in 2024! (time needs to slow way down)

[bunnyinfoxclothing]

Chaggie Cooking/Baking

Okay... hear me out...

This is something I have wanted to talk about for awhile. But it is so out of left field and absolutely nobody asked for this. But I want to rant, and this is my blog so suck it up.

So I read a lot of fan fiction... probably too much and as far as I have seen. A lot of people agree, that Charlie can't cook, but in the same vein most think that she can bake.

HAVE ANY OF YOU TRIED TO BAKE??

I'm talking anything other than premade flour dough, where you just add eggs, butter and water or oil.

None of this:

Baking is almost exclusively about specifics. Everything has to be mixed for a certain time. Over mixing can cause any rising agent to go flat. If you over mix eggs they will become curdled and dry. But if you under mix your bread becomes tough and dense, almost like a brick, making it inedible. With egg whites they can be left too runny and unusable in a meringue. Temperatures have to be exact. Butter has to be the correct consistency. You have to know how to measure, things can be messed up if you are off by a gram.

This is because Baking is quite literally, stripped down to it's most basic form, Chemistry.

All of this to say in baking you need 5 key things.

Organization

Attention to Detail

Co-ordination

Patience

Creativity

Does Charlie have all of these traits? YES! Can she hold all of them at once for 40 min? I am less certain.

However if Charlie is failing to cook... she is not succeeding in baking.

Now that being said. I think Charlie would make a fantastic cook.

If Baking is chemistry, cooking is art.

In baking if you mess something up and it doesn't taste good, you are back to step one. In cooking, you add seasoning and flavors and adjust to your taste and the tastes of others as you go.

Cooking is hands on, taste every step of the way.

Baking is follow this recipe exact or face the wrath of the gods. Cooking is, here is a general guideline, you decide what a pinch is, and always double the amount of garlic we suggest.

In art, there is trust the process, because in the moment things can look bad or strange or use ugly colors, but you can paint over mistakes, you can use markers to color over wrong lines, you can add details to turn something from a sketch to a masterpiece. You can look at something, see the mistake and fix it.

Tell me this scene of Remy dancing, tasting, and adding flavor doesn't seem exactly like what Charlie would do. Throwing stuff in, just to add to the flavor, improvising.

In episode 3 Charlie literally heard the words "I don't trust you" and decided that's what they were doing for the day. No plan, no idea, just straight into it.

(Charlie and Vaggie probably had a brainstorm session right before to decide on trust falls and to make the banner, but still)

Charlie as a Character very much hops into things with full enthusiasm and lets whatever is happening guide her to the next decision.

That is not the personality of a baker. That is the personality of a chef.

Anyway, someone please make an Au of this with Chef Charlie and Baker Vaggie trying to teach each other and fall in love. It would be so cute.

(Vaggie teaches Charlie discipline and subtly, creating a calmer mind in the kitchen, and Charlie applies that to her personal life, so she can better talk to people. Meanwhile Charlie teaches Vaggie how to have fun and go with the flow. Allowing Vaggie to go out and explore the world a bit more. Greet the world with open arms style. iykyk)

Anyway thank you for coming to my ted talk.

[there-goes-my-sanity]

An Umbrella academy Season 4 Follow Along: Part 2

Episode 4: The Cleanse

-Jesus they have a personal superjet?

-So they have a superjet but not nightvision masks and have to wear shoulder flashlights? Come on, step it up Reggie.

-Seriously how did she get in the squid guys

-REGGIE YOU DICK.

-am I the only one who loves Eliot Page's voice?

-how did durango get in Jennifer? like why does everyone else have marigold and she have durango?

-Like, did she come and release it in the umbrella world? Or....?

-So why is Ben that's obsessed with Jennifer, like I get that if a brellie and her connect that they'll explode or something but like...he's weirdly obsessed.

-Tell him Viktor!

-Why does Klaus have to be on side quests all the time and not part of the main group

-Seriously...possessed sex? No. no. no. no. no. no. no. no. no. no. no. no. no. no. no. no. Didn't Klaus hate being possessed by Ben? Isn't this technically rape? no. no. no. no. no. no. no. no. no. no. no. no. no.

-Seriously why is Lila all 'hey let's go back to the subway" so out of left field

-ANOTHER fat joke

-Why is the deputy director of the CIA at a random crime scene?

-Ah yes, we finally remember Claire exists.

-"What happened to your face mom?"-touches literally nothing on her face. not a single scratch

-we are just skipping over the fact that Klaus is once again being held hostage and now a prostitute...

-So Sy set the brellies up, didn't we already establish that?

-seriously why is Ben obsessed

-"they must have tossed me overboard" that's it. that's the explanation?

-ah a convenient travel map of the weird subway...

-seriously more prostitute Klaus?

-So he lied about the money so he could steal it...doesn't he know more than one drug dealer? Like...this whole side plot seems really unnecessary...

-oh that's not good.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Episode 5: Six Years, Five Months, and Two Days

-okay but how did they get lost on the subway. Couldn't Five just go up to a timeline and blink them back to the main terminal or something?

-Why don't they just go upstairs and use a shower and get some clothes...

-the cleanse is radioactive and they are just out in the open, like if you stop the apocalypse but you are going to die from radiation poisoning

-I do not like Ben this season...

-Five is giving up...FIVE? Mr. I was in the apocalypse for 40 years and didn't give up. That Five?

-I'm pretty certain Klaus would have run out of oxygen by now

-So does Alison have super strength now or was that just a shitty door? and telekinesis? Why did she get a power upgrade and no one else does?

-I think he would have passed out from pain if his balls exploded

-Did Claire know her mom got her powers back?

-what fucking time period are they in? Why is the CIA using rotary phones?

-NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

-no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no why the fuck did they do that. no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no

-did they just parody Captain America Winter Soldier?

-also that is the fastest elevator I've ever seen

-Isn't Diego's whole thing that he doesn't miss when he throws things?

-where did that cat come from?

-why is that lady just kicking in the area in front of Diego why he just stands there?

-oh look Lila and Five just being bestie siblings and not at all in a romantic relationship. *barf*

-he just conveniently found a journal with how to get home??? when was it written? How did it get there?

-seriously, you aren't going to show it to Lila?

-once again, there should be approximately no oxygen in that coffin.

-hE CaNt GiVe YoU WhAt YoU NeEd. bullshit. who are you and what did you do with Five.

-well good for Reggie for seeing the errors of his ways but this isn't about him?

-how did she get there so quickly?

-So Sy is just Reggie's wife in a weird skin suit?

-what is the point of Gene and Jean. Like, okay they explained the cleanse and stuff but...like now they just seem pointless?

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Episode 6: End of the Beginning:

-So the conspiracy theorists are nation wide and ready to kill people?

-I do have to admit, this is a banger of a song.

-So a bunch of rednecks with guns are going to stop the CIA and the umbrella academy?...does the Waco Siege not exist in this timeline?

-once again. Luther is clearly intelligent

-oh i had no idea he was going to kill her, who could have seen this coming (Sarcasm)

-they were all literally standing there watching them argue. So they just went along with Jean dying because...?

-and no one is going to acknowledge Five? Like, full minute scene of Lila saying high to everyone and Five just stands there?

-Okay does no one see Viktor's powers when he uses them, because that guy dead legged him in the middle of a power up

-so they don't explode they pull a weird Vecna stranger things thing?

-seriously fuckface? The wittiest character used fuckface?

-Didn't Lila have a bracelet all through the last season

-So the cheating was for what exactly? Like, was end of the world not enough or...

-and Five's power conveniently works again

-since when can viktor pull out the durango?

-What in the actual fuck. So now they are the weird merged monster thing?

-really, you think a gun is going to kill that thing?

-Seriously did they just need a reason to have Diego and Five fight during the main fight so the team isn't at full power?

-wait, so Lila still has her copy power but also random laser eyes?

-did Five just leave?! Because a girl broke up with him?? What the fuck, he's acting like a child and NOT A 60 YEAR OLD MAN

-I'm confused. he released marigold not durango. or can you not release one without the other?

-She wanted to end the world because...she wanted to teach her husband a lesson about hubris?

-"it's the siblings broke the timeline by existing" sounds a lot like a gaslighting version of Reggie broke the timeline

-so just remove the marigold? the marigold caused it then removing it would stop it right?

-can't they just create a machine to remove the marigold and then like, inject it into the weird ben/jennifer monster?

-this hug would be sweet if it was still siblings comforting each other.

-this is how it ends. just standing in a circle, willing to die at the hands of their weird monster brother because "we broke the timeline".

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

-well that sucked.

[castielstwigandberries]

if the supernatural movie doesnt include a reference to

nevada and georgia turning blue, stop the count, destiel making putin resign, sherlock season 5 rumors, destiel news meme, which political person had to be briefed on what destiel is now?, jensen looks like he was holding back homophobic slurs, weird cuts in the confession scene, which way was dean thrown now?, bury your gays speedrun, gay angels get send to superhell/eeby-deeby/cas plinko, recognizing the confession scene only by the first letters of each word, 'homosexual declaration of love', The Tapes™ (Release them now jensen!!!), meta analysis after 15x18, 'i gripped you tight and raised you from perdition' callback as dean saves cas from the empty, why lamp?, onion field, pizza man montage, parallels be paralleling, dean screaming cas name so loud in one take that people heard it blocks away, dean offering to kill sam if it means chuck brings cas back, the 4 year old son of lucifer becoming god, chuck won theory, 'we explore the nature of destiel in act two', excitement for a long finale which could only be about dean saving cas, right?, the insanity inducing quotes of the day for episodes, 'the night we met' and 'angel with a shotgun' songs of the day on set, filming in a barn, worst finale ever (even worse than game of thrones), weirly short with 11 scenes cut, two thirds montages, carry on wayward son playinf twice, back to back, one a weird cover version, vampmimes, no cas in the finale but instead some random vampire from season one no one remembers, dean finally gets nailed from behind, dean dies from tetanus, party city wig, good cars go to heaven, Car/Cas and Biden/Bi!Dean/Bye!Dean, 'cas helped', blurry wife, misha and jensen are not in the thank you video, everyone was supposed to be at the roadhouse originally but no one was informed of those plans, walker backdoor pilot, covid/capitalism destroyed everything, misha was in vancouver for filming the last episodes and was in less episodes than he was contracted for, misha denies ever having been in vancouver, misha says originally he was supposed to be in the finale as jimmy, misha says cas was supposed to be in the finale and 'sidle up to dean in the roadhouse', heterosexual destiel whose kisses would have created entire universes, destiel reciprocated in spanish, rogue translator, #TheySilencedYou, Jensen Ackles sexy silence, jensen ackles longcon, deanbenny breakup in season 8 script leak, Heller Obama, fake italian dub, misha collins x bill clinton sex scandal, misha addressing the "scandal" and tagging bill clinton and monica lewinski, 'still beautiful, still dean winchester', mishapocalypse 2.0 and 3.0, 'eyes like the sky' beer from jensens brewery rumored to be misha description, cockles anniversay photo, chaos machine jensen ackles' production company, 'rainbow road' beer close to deans birthday, blue green ('destiel') shotglasses from jensen brewery, ash and ellen's actors roleplaying roadhouse reopening in twitter, people think they are planning destiel wedding, disappointment when thats not the case, fans celebrate Destiel Wedding anyway on Valentine's Day 2021, fallout with both actors after one said a 'queer interpretation would damage the integrity of the show',

*takes a deep breath*

jared calling cas junkless and comparing his love for dean to the love he has for his children, misha collins cameo including 'still beautiful, still dean winchester', saileen and midam wedding, spn prequel announcement and subsequent j2 fallout, '@/robbiethompson et tu brute wow. what a trully awful thing you've done #bravo you coward', the prequel being about the least favourite characters of supernatural and a love story disproved by canon, 100000 destiel fics on ao3, misha tweets about that, rumors if mishas secret ao3 account, real italian dub going 'you're kinda okay' instead of i love you, misha tweeting a video of him saying 'te amo' in response to that', jensen saying if there'd been more time he (he meant dean but he used first person pronouns) would have hugged cas and said 'i love you too', first anniversary, misha collins coming out as bisexual on accident and then saying he 'happens to be straight' three days later in a five post apology thread, hot sauce from adam/micheal actor advertised by him playing midam, casbaiting in the winchesters trailer, jarlos shipping by winchester main actors, dean with beard and turtleneck, jensen saying he wanted misha in the winchesters but it didnt work out because of scheduling conflicts but hed be there in a season two shortly before the show was cancelled, death of the rogue translator and destiel getting dragged to the trending page every time there is news

*panting* then i dont want it.

yes this is all i could remember without looking it up

[afictionalwhor3]

I just finished watching HOTD and I have sm thoughts rumbling inside my head and I’m going to try my best to get them out in a way that makes sense

HOTD 2.07 Spoilers Ahead

- The ending of this episode saved it sm omggg. And please I understand why these side characters need this story building. Esp Daemon, I think we as viewers have been robbed in a lot of ways of seeing Daemon as a multi dimensional emotional character. However, this is why shows need to go back to 24 episode seasons. When there’s only 10 episodes before we lose these characters for two years I wanna see more action and not so much story building.

- The scene with Jace, my bbg 😖🫣🫠. I loved that scene bc it shows that Jace is insecure. He realizes what people say abt him and in some ways he probably believes it as well. Bc even if he has “plain” features the thing that separated him from the small folk was his claim to a dragon. Now that the small folk can claim dragons it’s like he is one of them. And I understand those frustrations (if we had 24 episode seasons 🙄) I would’ve loved to see wherever he went and have like a private moment amongst himself or even with Baela

- Daemon, Daemon, Daemon 😭😭. I’m sorry but him tripping acid in Harenhal is so genuinely funny to me. In seriousness tho we stan Oscar Tully cuz we love seeing Daemon humbled. The way he was able to spin the situation and make Daemon the uncomfortable one? Yeah you ate down mama

- The scenes with Matt and Paddy are just so good their chemistry off the charts. And the fact it was Paddy’s suggestion to do the scene as decrepit Viserys makes it even better bc it’s Viserys telling Daemon here the crown is yours, you’ve always wanted it, but while I hand it to you, look what it did to me.

- As someone who has not read the books, I saw that in the books Rhaena was happy in the Vale and that makes me sick cause that girl deserves it. Pray she claims a dragon next episode.

- Can a book person confirm is Alyssa had a sister? Cause ik with the kings guard from last episode (sorry I’m bad with names) they like made up Aerianna? So I wanna know if Hugh’s mom actually existed. Also hate hm character development/screen time he’s gotten as opposed to other side characters makes me sick.

- All those small folk in Dragonstone had me like, idk sista, but Rhaenyra seriously gained infinite aura points being able to calm Verthimor down.

- Vermithor knew damn well he ain’t have to burn all them people like that. Which leads me into my point that I love that these dragons have personalities. Like Syrax is literally just a girl, Vermithor is hot headed, Vhagar is an old lady, I just love that aspect of the show and someone give us a dragon personality fic

- Ulf stumbling onto a dragon like that I thought for sure he was dead. And also another clutch of dragon eggs???? Do they not know abt silverwing? Sm questions but when he went to kings landing I thought for a moment he was going to claim House Hightower. And when Aemond got to a haggard she was like “not again cmon”

- PERIOD THE DRAGON AT THE END WITH HER CREW BEHIND HERRRR!!! FUCK AEMOND WE DONT NEED HIMMMM!!! Such a boss power move like that was epic

- My favorite part abt next weeks preview was seeing Aemond tell Haelena she would have to ride Dreamfyre. Like she’s not meant yo be a warrior princess she’s meant to run in a field of flowers

But those are my thoughts if you somehow read this whole thing awesome and let’s talk in the comments I love talking abt these things it makes my day!!!!