#this scene was so goddamn amazing

[bird-inacage]

Only Friends: EP10 Ray's Therapy Scene (First Focus)

I've been meaning to do a deep dive on this scene, which has no doubt been immensely commended for Khaotung's stellar performance (I'm running out of vocabulary to gush about how talented that boy is). However the purpose of this post is to highlight how equally superb First is, as I fear some may overlook the excellent work he does here.

The reason why this scene warrants a huge amount of respect is how challenging this dynamic is on both actors. Only Ray is speaking the entire way through, which means the tone and rhythm of the scene is led by Khaotung, whilst First's role here as Sand is to be reactive to this immense outpouring and release of emotion. First is required to be a very restrained and contemplative presence - a projection and visual representation of Sand in Ray's own mind. It's literally acting on a macro (Khaotung) and micro (First) level in tandem.

I want to start by mentioning how well First portrays this bedded-in weariness in Sand’s demeanor throughout, an expression we’ve seen in Episode 8. It carries this heartbreakingly heavy and worn down quality. A symptom of a man who bears far too much weight on his shoulders, whose mental toil never seems to end; a product of his own nature and those who knowingly or unknowingly take advantage of it. This is the tragedy of Sand's character. And this is the realisation that is well and truly hitting Ray now. His temper and behaviour have inevitably taken its toll on someone Ray knows doesn't deserve all the suffering he's been putting him through.

⬆️ "I was stupid, but I want you to understand me. I was mad at you because I cared so much about you."

When Ray starts asking for forgiveness, there's an air of slightly deflated scepticism that flits across Sand's face. Sand's immediate instinct is to be hopeful, to give someone the benefit of the doubt. But the reality is Ray has apologised a number of times before and that hasn’t stopped him from hurting Sand still. So Sand’s expression sobers, conscious of how likely it is that Ray will let him down again.

This is Ray acknowledging that he's fallen into a pattern of taking Sand for granted. If that’s all Sand has come to expect, why would his apology this time change anything? Ray has not earnt his redemption yet as he hasn't apologised to Sand in person, and has no guarantee it would be accepted. Which is why he's so upset because he registers that Sand's disappointment in him is fully deserved.

⬆️ "There's no one more caring or loving than you. Though I've been nothing but an asshole to you."

You see the tiniest lift of Sand's brow that's tinged with grateful disbelief, 'Me? But I'm nothing special'. His gaze softens by the sentiment, a visible breath inhaled in as if taken aback, clearly touched but hesitant to believe it. A humbling trait of Sand's is that he genuinely struggles to see his own value. He doesn't realise just how meaningful he can be to someone. That he could hold such weight.

And all the criticism that Ray has thrown at Sand has only piled onto the insecurities he possesses. Remarks that have questioned Sand's principles, his dignity, his sense of worth.

⬆️ "But if you don't want to put up with me anymore, that's alright. I get you."

Ray's image of Sand watches on as he begins to fall apart, crushed by a mixture of intense fear, regret, and despair that this may be too little too late. That his last outburst may well have been the final straw, and he failed to appreciate Sand when it mattered.

On the surface Sand may look numb or somewhat devoid of emotion, but you can detect the turbulence brewing underneath. Sand has a habit of holding in his feelings in to an almost painful degree (which begs for release). It gives you the impression he could suddenly burst at the seams at any given moment. But Sand as always holds still, holds strong, holds steady. Other than the slight twitch of his lip, he holds himself together somehow.

⬆️ "No one can put up with me".

Ray vocalises his own self-hatred, how little he deserves someone like Sand, how guilty he feels for causing this damage. Whilst he does so, Sand appears increasingly teary, lip ever so slightly quivering, brows crumpling. He looks like he desperately wants to break down and cry along with Ray.

What sets Sand apart from everyone else in Ray’s life is he understands. He can sympathise with why Ray is the way he is. Despite everything Ray has done, Sand still very much wants to protect him, shield him, care for him. He doesn't blame him. It breaks his heart to see Ray upset, to see Ray hurting. His compassion for Ray has always been his undoing.

The last thing he would want is for Ray to feel unwanted or intolerable. He tries to be the person who can withstand Ray's temper, his volatile nature, because he knows Ray is still deserving of love. It’s because of this love that he can feel every single thing that Ray is going through.

Sand exudes an incredibly strong parental presence in this scene; a form of unconditional love and patience. As we're often told by our parents, they're not angry at us when we veer off path, just disappointed and perhaps saddened on our behalf - but that won't stop them from loving us all the same. This is beautifully captured by First. You can detect Sand's selfless love for Ray in his every gaze, always.

⬆️ "Ever since you walked into my life, I've been so happy. So damn happy Sand."

This is where Sand almost breaks down as he displays a small, tentative smile that is laced with pained and tired relief. His eyes close in an attempt to maintain composure. Whilst there’s overwhelm, there’s also finally a glimmer of peace.

This is what Ray knows Sand needs to hear, what Ray wishes he'd said sooner. Ray picturing himself saying this to Sand may be a form of vindication in the event he doesn't get say this to him in-person.

Finally Ray collapses into Sand's arms. Sand seems to visibly reign in his own emotions, in order to revert back to 'care-taker' mode. Sand nods once, a gesture of kindness and true acceptance that says 'It's all okay, I know.'

He's Ray's pillar, his rock, and his raft. Sand has become Ray's primary source of safety and comfort. Sand's gaze is so endlessly gentle as he nestles in close to hold Ray. Everything about his embrace feels warm and stable in such a reassuring way. Sand is every bit as loving and caring as Ray just described him to be.

What makes this entire portrayal so devastating is this is the Sand Ray sees and knows. Ray mentions in Episode 11 that he’s been stowing away these details. Which indicates that everything Sand has done and said has not gone unnoticed. Whether it was due to denial or ignorance that prevented Ray from confronting it sooner, he has unconsciously taken note of it all. How Ray's image of Sand responds in this scene is based on every interaction he's had with Sand up until now. This imaginary representation of Sand is proof of everything that Ray has come to fall in love with.

First was not given any dialogue in which to communicate in this scene. His entire performance relies solely on the tiniest of micro-expressions and gestures. He symbolises the essence of Sand but not the physical manifestation of him. Therefore his acting may come across as understated but that’s a sign of real talent when you can say so much with so little.

[arcanegifs]

ARCANE LEAGUE OF LEGENDS: 2x01 - “Heavy is the Crown” ↳ "I know you doubt your merit of your birthright, Caitlyn. There's wisdom in that. But remember: You're a Kiramman."

[xxxvomitboyxxx]

"No, no, no - You're young. You have the right to explore. You're Black in a country that will try to convince you you ain't shit. You're gay, and your own people may never accept you."

Marcus and Jerome - Fellow Travelers 1.08.

[lizzieraindrops]

You know what, I figured out why we're having so many errors in Destiny 2 now. It's because with the addition of Micah-10, we've finally reached a critical mass of women with drop dead gorgeous voices, and the game simply can't handle it anymore. It's like Telesto. Too powerful. If they'd actually put Ikora Rey in a rendered cutscene for more than 5 seconds it would have shut down the servers for good

[kavalyera]

love how john wick actors always serve when they’re on set. so good at body language and understanding their characters so much<33

[triflesandparsnips]

...So like. Let's travel back in time to a year ago. I start doing these fun little historical recreations, right? Stede Bonnet's lip balm and such.

The original recipe for that lip balm uses almond oil, but for my first batch (and several batches thereafter), I used coconut oil, because-- well, it's not historically accurate for the recipe, but fandom decided pretty early on that coconut oil was the Lube of Choice on the jolly ship Revenge.

So I, naturally, thought it'd be hilarious to use coconut oil in some stuff. Just a lil fandom-lube fun for shits n giggles. Because lol.

...Now please fast forward to right now. Me, idly planning the rest of the night. An unspooling line of thoughts: I want to make alt-labels for my historical hand cream, something to match the ye olde lube fic I wrote to go with the lip balm-- the fic describes the label as a hand holding a ship-- I'd been asking around for artist suggestions, looking for someone who could maybe draw Stede's hand for the label, maybe I could start messaging folks?-- and of course, after my utter breakdown over the "sex scenes and how to show them" morning-after gif set, that'd be a great reference to forw--

At which point, my brain shuddered to a fucking halt.

Because--

Yeah. Stede's hand. His fingers. Circling, pressing, working into--

🥥coconut🥥

THIS SHOW. is literally sitting us down and saying "Look at how Stede fingers-- stuff. And, uh, by the way-- look at what he's smearing his fingers all over with."

(SEX SCENES. AND HOW. TO SHOW THEM.)

tl;dr I am now extremely fucking okay with considering coconut oil pirate lube as canon-confirmed.

[cwarscars]

heidegger's home |

i always imagined heid's house looking a certain way and in the past made aesthetic / headcanon posts about it. i'm not sure if they exist on this blog anywhere or if it's lost media (lol) so i figured i'd detail his home here.

of course, he lives above plate ( not with the peasants in the slums, lmao gotem ). i imagine his home is quite a lonely place. it's a sleek two-story home out toward the outskirts of the plate. so high up it's almost amidst the clouds, his home overlooks the distance of the fields surrounding midgar and is facing kalm. if one squints, they can see the sea - but they'd probably need a telescope.

it's always windy there, kind of cold. even when the sun hits the house and the false soil/grass surrounding it, it's still a little chilly. real jumper weather sort of surroundings.

his home is fairly big, open-plan. lots of dark, muted colours. greys, blacks - he doesn't care for colour.

on the outside, a garage for his bike and his trinkets. woodworking kit, building tools, a mini gym. a parking space for his car on the outside of his house - large windows that look out from the house. the house is all windows, y'know.

you go through the front door and there's a wide open lounge that partners nicely with a bar/kitchen. as said, it's all open-plan. in the main living area is a greatsword above a fireplace, surprisingly still on the wall despite being incredibly heavy. it carries as many scars as heidegger does and like him - looks like an antique.

the bar is equipped with rich whiskey and whatever other booze heidegger fancies. it's always well-stocked. the edge of the bar has a noticeable chip from where he fell once while drunk. he didn't get it repaired in an attempt to tell himself to stop drinking ( it never took effect as he'd liked ).

the kitchen is wide and rich, a lot of devices that do a lot of nothing. in truth, he never bothered to learn how to use them. the fridge is hardly stocked. more alcohol, some sweet treats. he does all of his eating at work and on business rendezvous.

out back leads to a large room containing a swimming pool and a sauna. again, windows surrounding the pool - they're the ones looking out over the back of the house. he makes such sure to swim for at least an hour every evening. sometimes, he just hovers in the water, floats on his back - wonders what it'd be like to drown to death.

there are two bathrooms in the house ( one up, one down ) and an en-suite in the bedroom. all look similar, the one to see the most use is the en-suite.

should one head up stairs, their met with the landing - then the master bedroom and two spare rooms. the spare rooms are untouched, pristine. a bed, a dresser. some antiques. they're for his daughters. they never stay.

the main bedroom has a large bed adorned with deep black, silk sheets. a balcony overlooks the grey of the sky; there's two large walk-in closets within the bedroom. one with clothes, the other for more unsavoury hobbies.

going out onto the balcony leads one to another small room, accessible only via here - the room is full of old trinkets and photos. photos of old missions, soldiers, friends and family. it's a physical manifestation of heid's bonds - bonds he struggles to voice or acknowledge. he rarely ventures in there - though it calls to him all of the time.

[ilovelickingrocks]

yes i love game over man, i think it is one of my favorite movies. it makes me laugh at times it probably shouldn't and makes me go oooooooh shit a lot, it is genuinely enjoyable and so funny and also pretty good at being dramatic. do i think i would love it as much as i do if it wasn't made by anders holm, blake anderson, adam devine and kyle newacheck? probably not but who cares

[gay-otlc]

Okay so the council decided to give Sophie & co ten minutes to leave Exile and most of them rushed back to the black swan hideout to see Fitz, which means there is a very real possibility that Tiergan spent a majority of those ten minutes alone with Prentice <2

[gayofthefae]

In a Mileven kinda mood right now I actually just love them so much I might cry.

[katetcake]

Damn I don't remember Hellsing having this banger of an ost

[duskdog]

I'm reminded of her conversation with Richard where they're talking about sex and she says something like "I don't mind doing it with you, but..." and he angrily takes that as the absolute burn that it is (even though she didn't actually mean for it to be, at least not consciously). Like yeah, within the context of the conversation, it's a fairly innocuous line. She's comparing it to turning tricks, which she hates, and trying to make the point that her reluctance to have sex with those other men doesn't necessarily mean she doesn't want to have sex at all. And there are a lot of reasons that she might actually be lukewarm about the idea of doing it with Richard, regardless of her actual sexual preference: spending her time sleeping with multiple strangers against her will probably doesn't do much for the sex drive, for starters. And she's a smart girl, she's clearly aware by this point, on some level, that she's being coerced and that sleeping with him is an obligation -- to keep him happy, to keep him saying that he loves her, to keep herself sheltered and fed and (relatively) safe -- that she can't afford to deny him very often. She's just had a terrifying experience where she was in real danger of physical harm or worse, communicates clearly that she's shaken up by it, and he still wants to fuck. Who could blame her for being less than enthusiastic in her expression of her general desire for him in that particular conversation, given the circumstances? But also. It could be read as a disinterest in sex with men, in general. (Or it could be read as both -- these interpretations aren't mutually exclusive.) It makes me sad that, if this is true, she probably has no idea. She's never been given the chance to have that natural growth and exploration of what her actual desires may be. She probably thinks that being "meh" about cock is just natural given her experiences with it, and wouldn't even begin to question whether or not there might be some other reason why she feels that way.

just saw someone say ollie would be pro lgbt (of course) but one of their points was that connor is literally ace "PLUS WHATEVER MIA HAS GOING ON"

GANG WE'VE FUCKING DONE IT. WE'VE TRICKED THE GENERAL DC POPULOUS INTO BELIEVING THERES EVEN A HINT OF QUEERCODING IN MIA'S TEXT

[vroomvroomwee]

Can we talk about this?

Because we seriously need to talk about it. This single scene is so so so so important. Both of them are doing something typically associated with romantic couples. He grabs her hand, kisses it, holds it close to his chest and looks directly into her eyes.

In any other piece of media that would have undoubtedly been a romantic gesture. But not these two. And that is just so fucking incredible. Personally, I didn't think I would ever see this type of platonic closeness in my lifetime. One where romantic or sexual attraction between both parties is completely thrown out the window.

That's just so goddamn important to have. And you know what makes this scene even more mind-blowing. It's that their relationship is a male-female one (I know the Doctor is non-binary, but rn he's presenting as male). AND where the woman is attracted to men and the man is attracted to women (be it allo or ace).

And there is ZERO possibility of a romantic relationship between them. How amazing is that? It's so important to have that. To show that men and women can be friends. That women are not objects or something to achieve. That men can have closeness with women without being attracted to them. That there can be love, pure deep love, between men and women, and it's no less than that between a romantic couple's one.

And it's not like that trope in movies that we so often see where the "ugly" "undesirable" "quirky" ones are single and have formed a relationship with other individuals because no one wants them. No no. Both of these people are absolutely stunning and still, there's no attraction.

Also, this will go a very very long way for the ace and aro communities. To know that the love you can give is no less powerful and not inferior to that of people who do experience romantic and sexual attraction.

These two are a fan favourite, if not THE fan favourite, duo of all Doctor Who and I just wish people will realise how wonderful and special platonic relationships can be.

[loverboybrightsideghost]

.

[8n53]

tomoko kawakami absolutely knocked it out of the park voicing utena 😭

[pastafossa]

The way he immediately tries to look less broken when he hears her, the way he fidgets, too, just before he tries to speak. His body is curled up so small on that bed, as if he doesn’t feel worth taking up space, as if he’s trying to comfort himself (the amazing shot framing the two of them and Maggie’s posture plays it up - despite Maggie being physically smaller, energy-wise she’s the larger one here, with Matt curled in on himself and much smaller). He’s clearly trying to work himself up to say what he wants to say - thank you, I’m sorry -  but he just... can’t quite get there.

Amazing acting, amazingly filmed.

And absolutely, monstrously, tragically heart-breaking.

File this scene under: Top 5 moments I wanted to reach through the screen and give Matt a long hug 😭

Seriously though, this is one of the most heart-breaking we've seen Matt. Charlie just plays vulnerability so well and so naturally. The way his voice breaks, the tone of resignation in his voice (considering what he does next after this), him sniffling 💔😔 I've never wanted to comfort Matt so bad during the show 😭