#this road themed man is gonna be the death of me

[thewinter-eden]

Upcoming Posts

Let me know which ones you want to see first!

Crack!Horror SKZ Series :

One shots. Dark comedies with gritty themes, satirical humor, and happy endings. These are meant to be STUPID and FUNNY, not imperative literature. Light or suggested romance, sfw. I don’t condone any of these behaviors btw.

Bang Chan - ANNOUNCED

You Live Like This? - home invader!Chris breaks into your home one night to rob you blind, only to realize you’re too poor to rob. Fear, threats against your life, light violence (no harm), concerned Chan, terrified but exhausted reader, Netflix.

Lee Know

That Your Man? - mugger!Minho holds you and your bf up in a dark alley one night, ready to give you the old ‘your money or your life’ routine, but when your bf pushes you into the line of fire so he can run away, Minho has second thoughts. Fear, Minho has a gun, attempted mugging (obv), asshole bf, coffee.

Seo Changbin

Blink Twice if You Need Help - stalker!Changbin has been following you for weeks. He’s looking for his next target, and he’s obsessed with you. While he’s watching you, however, he learns the secret you keep—you’re being routinely robbed by your addict brother. After watching this cycle of abuse end with you crying almost every night, Changbin takes pity. Familial abuse, drug addict brother, Changbin’s a repeat offender, satirical but definitive death of character, ice cream.

Hwang Hyunjin

Don’t Look At Me Like That - hitman!Hyunjin’s next target is you, the child of a foreign diplomat. But when he shows up to do the job and finds you ambivalent to the threat upon your life, he can’t help but ask what the hell is wrong with you. Terminal illness, asshole family, political enemies, death of minor character, kidnapping.

Han Jisung

You Called? - demon!Jisung is summoned by your friends during a drunken college party. They’re trying to scare you, pretend to summon a demon and then lock you in the basement until they decide to let you out, but then the demon actually comes, but he thinks your friends are jerks. Fear/comfort, edgy but soft Jisung, terrorizing of minor characters, truth or dare.

Lee Felix

All Ye Who Enter Here - ghost!Felix is said to haunt the abandoned mansion at the end of Blacktree Road. Legend says all who go into the mansion are never seen again. When you decide you’re sick of your friends being afraid of a literal house, you rise to the challenge and go inside. Spoiler alert, Felix is real, and he can’t believe you’re dumb enough to walk into a haunted house. Hauntings, killings, creepy Felix, light tormenting (no reader harm), tea party.

Kim Seungmin

Damn Puppy Dog Eyes - werewolf!Seungmin saves your life from a pack, inadvertently earning your unwavering loyalty, even though he’s just as much a killer as they were. Sometimes he can’t decide if he wants to wrap you up in bubble wrap to save you from your own idiotic self or dump your annoying ass back where he found you. Fear, attempted murder, werewolves hunting humans, reader makes dumb decisions, Seungmin’s gonna pull his own hair out, cuddles.

Yang Jeongin

Do You Need a Straw? - vampire!Jeongin is starving (thirsty?), and your best friend would rather offer you up as his personal capri sun than face her own doom. Jeongin takes the deal, but when he hunts you down, he knows you—you’re his older sister’s best friend, and you don’t take him seriously even for a second. Innie? A vampire? Okay, Edward, if you say so. Killings, blood, threatening, attempted murder, your friend’s an ass, Jeongin’s not good at threatening you, unplanned night swim.

Tell me which ones interest you!

[smilysstuff]

Watch as I give Wash long hair.

AU where he grows his hair out instead of his beard when?

[rosedpetal]

Until Death Do Us Part

Summary: Harvey and you have been on a rocky road lately, but hopefully, you can still find each other.

Pairing: Harvey Specter x Reader

Word count: 932

Warnings: stablished relationship (reader and Harvey are married), mentions of body image struggles, hints at +18 themes.

Masterlist

"No. Absolutely not." Your husband frowned when you came out from the closet wearing your 'costume'.

A huff of annoyance leaves your lips.

"What the fuck is wrong now? Did I gain weight and suddenly you can't get up or something?" Venom drips from your sarcastic remark and Harvey rubs his temples.

"Why are you like this? Jesus Christ, Y/N, it's not about some shit like that, stop trying to make me a bad guy at every given chance!" He snaps. "It's just your stupid wings, okay? You look like you came straight from a Barbie movie, when you said you'd like to roleplay being a fairy, I thought you'd use one of those Lord of the Rings-"

"Those are elves. Not fairies. They don't have wings!" You seethe, taking your plastic wings off and accidentally pressing the light button on them, turning the pink leds on, and Harvey's eyebrows shot up in surprise.

"I'm sorry if my knowledge in a fictional world lore is lacking, it's because I actually have a real job."

That was cruel and uncalled for and he knew it. Harvey had a bad habit of saying the most callous things without even thinking. It didn't help that he hated the idea of roleplaying from the very beginning.

"How could I forget, it's the only thing you care about!" You raise your voice, and it breaks in the end. "Tonight was supposed to be fun!"

Harvey immediately regrets the jab he made at your wings. Well, it's not that he couldn't get himself to be motivated by you while you were wearing them... It's just that it was fucking weird because he was a grown man and he was pretty sure his kid niece wore the same pink fairy wings every Halloween.

And he could explain that to you, but you just had to make a self deprecating comment about your body and imply that he wasn't man enough to look past his partner putting on some weight.

Which was another ridiculous thing, because, seriously? He couldn't care less if you were a size 2 or 20. It didn't matter. He married you because he loved you, inside and out, and you weren't an airhead that couldn't carry on a conversation with him. He respected you. He was interested in what you had to say (most of the time, at least).

But for months now, you two have been fighting nonstop, and more than often saying some hurtful shit to each other and no longer searching for the comfort of each other's arms in the middle of the night.

He wondered if your sudden self consciousness regarding your body was because you've been stress-eating ever since the chasm between you two was created.

Harvey was selfish, harsh, arrogant and snappy, but he wasn't insensitive to how women sometimes had insecurities that ate them alive.

He sighed, following you in the closet, his chest tightening at the sigh of your angry tears while you put on sweatpants and a top (the sleepwear you wore on nights you made sure no intimacy was gonna happen).

He even agreed on going to therapy with you, which he thought was an admission of defeat, that you two weren't mature enough to solve your problems on your own.

"Honey." He called, his voice soft with regret.

He hates the 'homework' your therapist gives you every week. A dinner date, a little getaway, a road trip, sitting down and talking for an hour. He feels like his own relationship is being scripted and that you can't find common ground anymore.

"What?" You wipe your tears, unable to look at him in the eyes.

"We don't roleplay." He said in a teasing tone. "Why would I want you to pretend to be someone else when you already exist?"

He gently holds your face in both hands, wiping the remaining tears with his thumbs.

"I'm an idiot. I promise my reaction has nothing to do with whatever's been making you feel vulnerable right now. Seriously. The wings just reminded me of halloween, and halloween reminded me of children going trick-or-treating and you don't want your husband to be thinking of children in the bedroom, do you?"

You grimaced. "God, no."

"Glad we're on the same page, babe." He gently pressed his forehead against yours. "Dance with me."

"There's no music." You sniffled.

"We have a nice record player in the living room. Come on, baby."

Gently, he guided you out from the room, his fingers intertwined in yours as he put on some sappy jazz music. He sways barefoot with you on his arms, your head on his chest, and it takes you back to simpler times.

"I'm sorry. For everything." He's the first to speak, and you appreciate the sentiment, because you know how hard it is for him to apologize, specially when he's the first one to bend the knee to make peace.

"We'll get through this." You mumble, and he kisses the top of your head, and suddenly the golden ring on your finger feels lighter.

"I love you more than anything in the world, darling. Please, don't doubt that. I need you to remember that every single day, specially when I'm at my worst."

"I love you too, Harvey."

He knows there's a long way to go, but the little progress you made tonight makes his heart feel more at ease, as long as you're both on the same side, because he knew with every fiber of his being that he meant it when he said 'until death do us part'.

[ohisms]

✱˚｡⋆ ↪ 𝐌𝐎𝐌𝐌𝐘 𝐂𝐀𝐍'𝐓 𝐒𝐋𝐄𝐄𝐏 ! ( a collection of sentence starters from season  1 of nbc's “ good girls ”. adjust phrasing as necessary . will be updated in the future . mature themes are present . )

specificity is good , but that's over the top .

chill , i'm like two minutes late .

alright , everybody be cool and nobody gets hurt .

do you think i could make it in L.A. ?

i don't need all that . i just want to be super famous .

you know , i'm just not really much of a church person .

maybe next time you'll take security more seriously .

oh my god , can you please just listen to me for one damn minute ?!

shame on you . shame on all of you .

move it before i shoot your face off , let's go !

you should probably get yourself a lawyer .

why is it so crazy ? i mean , it's a victimless crime .

can't you have my back on one thing , ever ?

this is me helping you not ruin your life .

damn . that was a good sell .

i should have been more careful , i panicked .

no ! i mean ... i don't know . maybe .

we're gonna rob that store .

have you lost your mind ?

we can't sit back and let everything be taken away from us .

no one's gonna fix this . we have to do it ourselves .

[ name ] ... hello ? are you okay in there ?

how did you have the money for all of this ?

i'm here to clean up a mess , [ name ] .

it's not a knock , we all have our strengths and weaknesses . you're a beautiful dummy . it doesn't make you a bad person .

this is five grand . enough for a plane ticket , and to get you started .

i guess you won't mind if i go to the cops , then . right ?

i handled it because you couldn't .

you've got a little ... on your face , kind of looks like blood .

what am i looking at right now ? WHAT am i even looking at right now ?

[ name ] , this is life or death .

i choose death . GIVE ME DEATH .

i have ... sort of a favor to ask .

it's not like you can't afford it .

what do you need that much money for ?

thank you for making me completely humiliate myself for no reason .

this is what winning feels like .

i'm gonna need you to say it with me . we are winning .

it's not like you're gonna kill me .

you don't have the guts . you're not killers .

thought you'd pull a fast one , huh ? make a quick buck ?

girls like you , you never think things through .

you've done this your whole life . you make these big messes and expect everyone else to clean it up . then you just ignore it .

you can't leave me here forever .

you are an incredible liar .

when bad things happen to good people , everyone goes crazy .

if it could happen to us , it could happen to anyone .

roll the dice . tell them to pull the trigger . see what happens .

hey , looks like we've got a survivor .

i am going the speed limit . i don't wanna get a ticket .

where does he think he's going ? boy , this is hard to watch .

if you go to the cops , so will i .

i thought we were done with this .

oh ! you'd rather just declare a kilo at customs ?

– or we could just steal it .

are you hearing yourself right now ?

do not call me crazy .

what if we get caught ?

there's always a choice .

dude , it's never gonna end . unless we end it .

i'm not gonna shoot him , i'm just gonna scare him a little !

forgive me lord jesus , i did not mean to shoot that man .

are we supposed to knock or something ?

i wanted my music for the road trip .

how long has it been bleeding like this ?

i need to take you to the hospital , i think you need stitches .

i wish everything could go back to the way it was .

i had no damn idea how good i had it until it was gone .

i know you hate me right now .

i'm sorry . i suck .

i had to do something really , really important .

what's more important than me ?

is there something you want to ask me ?

just making conversation .

you know the tradition is jordans over a phone line , right ?

be outside in two minutes or you're dead , i mean it .

it's so crazy , even saying it .

you asked for this ? you ASKED for this ?

you can't sign people up for criminal activity like it's a bake sale !

that is NOT what i meant when i said i'd do another job .

so you think you get to pick and choose what you do and when you wanna do it ?

no , i'm sorry . that is not gonna work .

what's your gut say ?

i can prove it ! i mean i can't ... but i want to .

why should i apologize ?

chill out with the cayenne .

maybe we need like , smelling salts or something .

well , i want him to not die in my house .

i am so tired of almost dying .

hey ! ... don't be mad .

you're a dead man .

shut up , just don't say anything . i will handle it .

just say you're sorry .

i wanted to do something nice , so that maybe we could start fresh .

i'm not proud of my part in everything .

oh , yeah ? what does that mean ?

[loveliestlovelygirl]

divine temptations | 222

you're such an angel, and i'm gonna hurt you

fallenangel!anakin x nun!reader | lore 🪽 | playlist

synopsis: after the meeting with the high council, anakin is imprisoned publicly to shame him. in his hatred for your guardian angels, he destroys them, causing chaos to overcome both heaven and earth.

w.c: 2.6k+

highlights: {minors dni} dark content, heavy religious themes and imagery, inspiration taken from catholicism primarily, sexual themes, corruption kink, light sexualization of the reader as a nun, fem!reader & use of she/her pronouns, attempted sexual assault {mentioned}, rape {mentioned}

table of contents | 333 {coming soon}

The memories of his assault of your vessel were visceral and disturbing weeks after the event. Your neck was left bruised, and it ached for several days. Sometimes, you couldn’t sleep because every time you closed your eyes you were sent back to that moment where you were at your weakest, helpless against that tree. Almost raped. Almost.

Almost is a taunting thought

You believed that, since you hadn’t been defiled, you shouldn’t be bothered by the occurrence for long. You shouldn’t have these nightmares of being raped over and over again. You shouldn’t feel vulnerable. You would simply return to your beautiful life here at the convent, your sanctuary. A place where you never have felt unsafe or threatened in any way. You loved the women here, and they loved you.

The last time you were vulnerable like this was your past life when you were a part of the world, before you had found the monastic way of life. Never did you believe you would have to feel pain like this again.

Hatred lights the path of the fallen. But you hate that man for what he wanted to do to you. How could someone be so wicked?

And every time you thought of his face, you cried and sometimes wished for death. These were thoughts that haven’t scathed your mind since you entered the convent. But perhaps contact with that despicable man left you tainted. Maybe you needed to be cleansed and prayed over, bathed in the holy waters.

What other recourse did you have?

When you explained to your sisters why you required the service, they were more than happy to pray over you. They prepared the bath for you too. Sister Agnes remained with you the entire time to help guide your prayers. The water must have risen an inch from your tears. After the bath, Sister Agnes walked you back to your private chamber.

She broke into a sob. “Oh, my dear,” the elderly woman wiped her tears, “We shouldn’t have allowed you to go near the road alone.”

You drew her into a hug. Of course, they should have sent you with another. But all you could say to the heartbroken woman was, “Don’t worry about it. I feel much better now. Our Lord protected me.”

Sister Agnes cried harder when you said that. The new expression upon her wrinkled face was one of relief. She truly believed you. And you were happy that she would not share your pain.

You bid her goodnight and went inside your room to pray. When you wanted to feel closer to the Creator, you opened your window to let the moonlight in and knelt before your window seat, setting a pillow under your knees, a makeshift prayer bench. While it was not the proper way in which to address Him, you were not so sure He minded.

For the first few minutes, you sobbed, thanking Him for the lightning that only struck your assailant and not you. The electricity only touched your skin momentarily. It was as if there had been a barrier between you and Death. You should have both died from the lightning, but only that man did. The miraculous occurrence saved you from an even greater pain.

But the thought did little to comfort you. Why you? What made you so special that you deserved a supernatural rescue and so many others didn’t? The thing that should have brought you to your knees in gratitude and praise of your savior made you... question everything, including how heavenly justice worked?

Although, the whole incident could have been some cosmic joke.

And despite spending the whole day in prayer with your sisters, you felt the same. You were still terrified about what happened. So much so that sleep was an impossible feat. During all your time at the convent prior to the horrific event, you embraced solitude and found contentment. But this night, you wouldn’t have hated companionship, someone to hold you tight and tell you that you were safe here.

“You can’t say that, Anakin! Do you understand the gravity of this situation? Do you?” Obi-Wan had never shown his anger so outwardly before. Anger marked his brow, his furious stare, his clenched jaw, and his haunting tone.

Anakin could sense his fear, despite the rage his friend used to hide it. They both understood that what Anakin had done was enough to have him sent to hell for all eternity. Their father was not so lenient of the angelic hosts as he was of humans. The humans were free to sin, and forgiveness was offered to them at every turn. And yet somehow, they still missed the chance to ascend to the heavenly realms. Most chose to trade their vaporous lives for eternity. And the Creator allowed it because of free will.

“But it’s true, Obi-Wan. There’s nothing you can do,” Anakin said emotionlessly. The chains of light were clamped tightly round his ankles, keeping him grounded. Nothing can break them except for the Creator’s Will.

He was chained to the platform right outside the chambers of the High Council, like he was an animal on display. And to the rest of the heavenly host, Anakin was a creature of anomaly. Seraphim were respected for their unbreakable devotion to Him above all else, yet Anakin wished for nothing more than to leave his place of honor. He wanted to be able to visit the Earth realms. He wanted to seduce you.

“I will try to change his mind,” Obi-Wan said to him with all hope. “He is more understanding than you give him credit for.”

With that, Obi-Wan disappeared. His wings were so quick that he moved almost at light’s speed. And Anakin was alone again in his humiliation. But he didn’t mind because now he could give you all his attention. He watched you as he always did. But this time he was not pleased by what he saw.

Never had he seen you so unhappy. He’d never witnessed you cry for anything but joy. The visions you saw in your sleep. You believed they were nightmares, but he saw the demons torturing your mind as clearly as he could see you below. Your good-for-nothing guardians were evidently too busy to cast them away. Anakin would do that for you, but he was in a bad place as it was. Interfering with your life again wouldn’t be prudent. If the Creator did not eliminate him, Obi-Wan certainly would. So, this time, he did as he should, and he merely observed from a distance, watching you cry your eyes out and writhe in pain only felt by your spirit.

The more he watched the heavier his own spirit weighed. If your guardians had served you faithfully, then you wouldn’t be left understandably traumatized from the event. It was almost too hard for him to watch you this way. But he couldn’t leave you alone like this. Even if you didn’t know he was there. He couldn’t let you out of his sight.

And as your pain grew deeper, so did his hate for those who failed in their calling to protect you. Unlike the other angels, Anakin struggled to contain his hate. No one who harmed you was free of his wrath. Certainly not your guardian angels.

The heavens erupted into chaos. Anakin had lost himself to his own wrath. He couldn’t hold it in anymore. He had been punished for saving you from being violated, and those who failed in their duty to protect you were left completely unscathed. And for someone who already, secretly despised the entire heavenly host and whose hatred was like a forgotten thorn in one’s side festering for ages, obliterating your five guardians in one hailstorm of fiery rage was as simple as taking a breath for him.

Instantly, he was reprimanded by the Creator directly. In a single moment, ejected from the heavenly realms, banished to dwell upon Earth until the end of time. Hell, where he would now spend eternity, was his final destination. The mercy of the Creator saved him from being sent there first. Earth was to be his Sheol, a temporary hell.

But did they forget that his interests lie only with you. Did they fail to notice that this might be what he wanted all along? Even if he only had until the end of time with you, he knew that it would be worth it. Though you were unaware at this time, nothing would keep him from you. The laws of heaven no longer applied to him. He was free to torment the earthly beings, though that wasn’t nearly as alluring as possessing you.

 Banished from Heaven and sent to Earth, he lost his heavenly title, and his name was written among the fallen. He kept his beauty in full, but now as an angel of light. And despite having wanted this to happen, being reprimanded so heavily over what he saw as the right thing to do irked him. And the pain that he felt you living through as a result of your guardians’ inadequacy ignited his fury in ways devastating to the Earth. 

His rage awoke nature’s spirits. Thunder, Lightning, Rain, and Hail terrorized the inland villages. He disrupted the seas, wreaking havoc on coastal cities, leaving them destroyed in his wake. And nothing was put in place to stop him.

The voices of the High Council rang in his ears as they pleaded with him to end his madness. But Anakin was drunk on power, the lack of restraint he now possessed, for the fallen were given domain over the Earth for a time of unknown length. He didn’t believe in redemption. His thought was why not enjoy it here. The earthly realms were to be his last Heaven.

For weeks, the destruction by Anakin’s fury continued.

Obi-Wan was sent to stop and contain him. But Obi-Wan believed, perhaps foolishly, that Anakin’s heart could be changed.

The cherub appeared before him, glory to glory, withholding nothing. And yet the majesty of the fallen one was still unmatched.

“You know why I am here,” Obi-Wan announced, wielding his fiery blade, directing its point to the enemy.

Anakin could not cower in the presence of the threatening blade. That was beneath him. “Do I?”

“Given more time, Earth and its surrounding realms will be destroyed. This lust for power has consumed you.”

He was not blind to his own faults. But under his own authority, he could do as he pleased. Destroying this realm would be good. Nothing good has come from mankind. Not in his eyes. From his view, he could see the suffering humans enacted upon each other and upon the Earth, the very thing which provides them life. The only good in this world was you. And he had plans to sweep you away. Far away.

“The one that you love. You’re going to kill her. She will hate you.”

Anakin gave him a biting glare. If Obi-Wan knew... then that meant so did He. And the rest of Heaven. “I’d never hurt her. I can see her now. She’s sleeping. She doesn’t know what’s happening.”

“What do you think will happen when you destroy her life? Everything and everyone she cares for? You don’t think that would hurt her?”

“Obi-Wan, you have no idea! Did you see what happened to her? What almost happened? I live through her pain. I want to save her from evil. Can you not understand?”

The cherub refused to back down. His blade was still held high. “This is not up for debate. I have been sent to put an end to your insanity one way or another.”

Anakin smiled wickedly. “Oh... by killing me?”

“That depends on you, my friend.”

Anakin did not understand.

“Our Father wishes to offer you a deal. He has changed his mind on your punishment. But...” Obi-Wan sighed and shook his head, “only if you put an end to your anger now. It is not the Creator’s Will for the Earth to be done away with yet.”

In order to declare his interest, Anakin immediately paused his merciless pillaging of the surface. “I am listening.”

In return, Obi-Wan sheathed his blade of fire. “He knows how strongly you care for this human.” His voice was coated with disgust for the lesser being. “He knows exactly what she means to you and what you’re willing to give up for her. In his divine grace, He is willing to make an exchange with you. Give up your dominion over this realm, and he’ll allow you to be her guardian, though not an angel. But your eternal status, depends on how well you serve her.”

This offer was... merciful.

Beyond what Anakin knew he deserved. Not only was he being offered a chance for redemption, but he was being offered the one thing he craved most in the entire universe. As your guardian, he would have unbridled access to you and your beautiful mind. At his discretion, he could even appear to you, making his existence known to you.

Being known by you...

The thought of that was more than even he could process in all of his great understanding.

He was used to being veiled from you completely. Contact had been forbidden. But with this offer, you would be in his grasp. He could travel between dimensions and allow his glory to be witnessed by your perfect gaze. Anakin could not stop his curiosity at what it might feel like to be seen by you. Would he prefer it? Or would he dislike the contact? His intuition whispered that he would like it very much and that he might even find it addicting.

How could he say no?

“I... accept.”

Obi-Wan did seem surprised in the slightest. “I see. I will inform Him of your decision. You will feel weakened very soon. I understand that... you wanted this. But I don’t understand why. You-you, Anakin, held the position of the highest honor. Why would—”

“I never wanted any of it. I wanted to be free to pursue my singular interest.”

Obi-Wan chuckled. “I would be cautious in your new role, Anakin. More than ever before. Because this is a test. Did you believe that you were truly going to get everything you wanted without a cost? If you serve her faithfully all her life, an eternity with us is yours. But the temptations you will face as her guardian, I’m not sure you can handle it.”

“What?” Anakin spat. “Protecting a human is practically a mindless affair. That’s why it’s given to the lowest of all angels.”

“Realize that even that group is superior to where you stand currently,” he added humorously.

“I won’t be able to physically harm humans in this form. So, don’t worry. I won’t kill anyone.”

“That was not the temptation I was referring to.”

Anakin realized what his friend meant. So he quipped, “Lust is a human feeling.”

“Is it?”

“What do you mean, is it?” Anakin said mockingly.

“Do not be quick to assume anything. You’ve never been in the earthly realms before. It’s much different. You may find yourself desiring things that seemed unnatural to you before.” Obi-Wan turned, signaling his departure. “Remember the laws of Heaven. Despite your fallen state, if you wish for eternity in Heaven, where she will most certainly end up, you must abide by our laws.”

Eternity in Heaven with the one he craves. There was hardly a better fate in mind even if he never ascended to the honor he once claimed.

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@ejs398 @anakinsgirlfriendreal

[fukutomichi]

Might be just me, but Season 2 throws the word forgiveness A LOT these past episodes, it wouldn't surprise me that it turns out to be the central theme this season.

Elrond seems to wrestle with himself in him not being able to see why Galadriel did what she did. And with him already saying that the fate of Celebrimbor lies in his hands, will he be able to forgive himself for what's about to happen?

Isildur NEVER being able to forgive himself for what happened to his mother, yet Theo finds a way to move past it and forgive himself by honoring his mother and continuing in her footsteps, with Arondir being a supportive gentle soul that he is. But can Arondir forgive Adar, who's directly responsible for the death of his love? I have a feeling we have a clash incoming. Is Adar deserving of forgiveness, after all he did what he did to give his adopted orc kids a place to exists.

And we don't even have to mention Númenor and the downward spiral that the island is heading. Can the characters there be able to forgive themselves for what they're about to do? The same goes for Khazad-dûm as well.

Sauron could never forgive himself as well, he DID try, but he could also never forgive others, and after that moment when his power point presentation listing his new age's resolutions backfired on him, now he's gonna make sure that he never asks for forgiveness EVER again.

The Stranger (jfc just confirm that he's the G man already comeooon) is also FINALLY heading to end of his road and a decision he has to make FAST. And he visibly fears it. If he doesn't make it in time, what then? Will he be able to forgive himself for not arriving in time to turn the tide? Wizards are never late, right?

Will Galadriel also be able to forgive herself for being so laser focused on her task that ended up with a dirty grimy maia falling for her hard (can't blame the dude), and she DID resonate with him, is now trowing a temper tantrum all over Middle-Earth cause she rejected him. What if she makes a decision that will cost her when she meets him again? A mistake undeserving of forgiveness from her friends?

HUGE mistakes are gonna be made. We NEED to see them. We NEED to see how hard is to forgive and be forgiven. To forgive yourself.

Forgiveness takes an age.

I dunno man, the Ents made me emotional again.

[swallowtailed]

palisade 62 / finalisade side b track 6

on palisade!

one thing about fatt, they can stick a landing. more specifically austin and jack by their powers combined can stick a fucking landing. tbh let me talk about the outro first, actually:

stunning final track. loved hearing it morph from the palisade theme into other tunes.

a joy to hear from parti one last time!! probably my favorite npc of this season.

and to lift back out into the frame of perfect imperfect as hosted by layer luxurious (broadcasting from the planet of palisade, which is a lovely touch)—it’s my audio drama past coming out, but i do so love a diegetic radio show. we were promised that we would hear the end of the perfect millennium! and we did! satisfying.

i wasn’t sold on the plot of this sortie, but janine brought it home—has been bringing it home all arc. her work in this finale has been really, really cool. super solid science fiction. going from questlandia back into armor astir felt like an odd zigzag—much like dipping into and back out of the mirage—but the thread of blossoming sentiences was very strong.

(would like to take time to dig into the thematic structure of this season, now that it's over, but for now i am just pointing at it)

god, just knowing that brnine survived, and continued the fight… that's a win. closing on them bantering with thisbe was, i agree, the perfect final image.

brnine’s gravity clock changing to “thisbe is an important part of my life”... thisbe saying they’re a good captain and asking to watch a movie, and brnine immediately teasing her… they’re friends ;-;

also—season about grief—it was jokes, but thisbe saying “i was stating a fact, i wasn’t mourning” and brnine replying “sounded like mourning to me”, and ending palisade on that exchange… a good note of closure on that theme, i felt.

there’s been a lot of excellent character work this season—brnine, thisbe, cori, figure, jesset, and august all stand out to me. i’m trying not to make this post too long but man. genuinely incredible stuff.

perennial blooming again with thisbe’s gift of the pollen was really lovely. as was all the imagery in that scene

thisbe throwing sixes to speak with perennial was so Dice Game. one last little bit of serendipity for the road.

also thisbe being integrated with various different ways of being is very “it’s not a field it’s a garden” to me

i am looking forward to seeing how they treat this new phase of the divine cycle, because a transformation like that of the divine arbor would be devastating to a lot of lifeways & ecologies. it is far from the only time this has happened in the divine cycle! but it’s a great chance to concretize that. kudzu and other invasive species were raised in a previous ep; i’m also reminded of area x from jeff vandermeer’s annihilation. what i would like to see: a focus on new social forms, cf scavengers reign. fatt typically does not dig into ecologies, land relationships, etc, but perhaps they will look more in that direction in the divine arbor’s new world? who knows. either way i’m gonna be sitting here talking about ecological readings because unfortunately i do think it’s important and relevant lmao. (while i’m talking on the season scale, this is something i really want to see in sangfielle as well. which is a setting that even more deserves some time spent on the land.)

cori’s scene with elle was great. her storyline this season has been so fun—losing none of the bravado, but coming more into herself. i thought she was gonna give elle some of her blood but a ritual knife is probably a better gift.

can’t wait to see where they’re at next divine cycle season!!

“if only you could get five more minutes” made me laugh

glad that levi made it out! starcrossed is a wild name for a team led by a guy who kicked off his career by defeating the fear of death—kinda thumbing his nose at fate—but it seems like he’s pulling it off so far.

can local plant-based organizing be a viable alternative to galactic capitalism? i sure fuckin hope so!!

leap vanishing with present would have been extremely space opera

perennial blue ribbon…

i did overall really enjoy this season. i think it’s their best yet, for character work and executing on big ideas. a sharper take on twilight mirage. it’s dense but it has momentum. they really do get better every season imo... like my season ranking does kinda just go directly up in chronological order

god. palisade.

stay tuned~

(also, while we’re here, thanks for reading! this is something like the sixtieth of these weekly palisade ep posts, which is wild. it’s been a weird year and a half, personally—a lot of time in motion—but tuning into palisade every week and then thinking and discussing together has been really fun. so shoutouts!)

[captainkirkk]

✩ WEEKLY FIC ROUND-UP ✩

All the fics I’ve read and really enjoyed in the past week-ish. Reminder: This list features any and all ratings and themes. Please look at tags and warnings on ao3 before reading.

DC (Batfamily)

Like a Hinge, Like a Wing by Ultrageekatlarge

The problem is that Tim’s spent the past month or so slowly getting murdered.

(AKA, An AU where Jason never went to Ethiopia, and Tim takes a different road home to the Waynes).

B(r)other by snackbaskets

"Why would you do this to me, Jason? Why do you keep hurting me?"

"By eating your hummus? Mostly to fuck wit'chu. A little bit 'cause I like hummus."

"Just piss on my corpse and get it over with."

"Are you two fucking okay?"

The Disastrous Life of Saiki K/ Death Note

Deus Ex Saiki by oatmealcrisp

Ten year old Kusuo Saiki decides he's tired of Kira's shenanigans so he's gonna solve the problem himself.

It may not have been worth it.

Stranger Things

starts with an h, sounds like potential by formosus_iniquis (+ podfic)

Inspired by this post by ruelogy

Eddie knows he got to Hawkins a little later than everyone else. He wasn't born and raised in the six miles of town with the same eight people his whole life. There was a whole social services kerfuffle that meant he didn't land in this small town hell hole until he was the ancient age of thirteen. He knows he's destined to forever be the freaky new kid with the shaved head and the group home eyes who joined in the eighth grade. But even without all that he is fucking positive that there was no Henderson in any of his three graduating classes.

Yet here Henderson the supposed younger sits painting him a mystery week after week. Steve said this, Steve did that, Steve may very well be a delusion if the way the others giggle and sigh every time he gets brought up is any indication.

Marvel

secret keeper by jilliancares

Ellie stares at the new arrival, gaping. All the evidence points to one obvious answer, but this guy looks nothing like the Spider-Man Ellie recognizes — mostly because he isn’t wearing the suit.

“Crappy day to get kidnapped, amirite?” he says, crouching next to Ellie and deftly untying her restraints. “Looks like these guys were amateurs, though. They didn’t even lock the windows.”

(In which Ellie accidentally becomes the one person who knows Spider-Man's identity. She doesn't tell her dad.)

Merlin

Next to You (It's the Rule) by LunaMyLove

Arthur and Merlin have a special relationship. They always have, even when they were prince and servant. While many question it when first noticing, eventually it becomes an understanding in Camelot—and even among some other countries—that where there is Arthur, there is Merlin. And, where there is Merlin, there is Arthur.

Or: Arthur and Merlin's relationship as witnessed and explained by others.

Also, or: Five times someone realizes that Merlin is the Queen, one time Merlin realizes it himself, and one time he owns it.

[mediocrecowboyhat]

Set in sand - Chapter 4

We mark the year 1934 and a peculiar journal falls into your hands. It's telling the tale of an outlaw and the downfall of a gang. Some pages are torn and others are downright unreadable, but nevertheless, you are still able to make out some parts of the tragic story.

With the help of a certain time traveler friend of yours, will you be able to safe the author of the journal or will you be the cause for his demise?

Previous chapter

Next chapter

Word count: 4081

Disclaimer: This is based on the side quest "Geology for Beginners" so the reader is from the future and aware of some things that happen, but not everything. The reader will also have she/her pronouns and this fanfiction follows the story of RDR2. Also English is not my first language so pls forgive me for any grammatical mistakes!

TW: end-game spoilers will be mentioned very early on in the story, 18+ MDNI, sexual themes, violence, gore, death, misogynistic themes (anything that happens in the game as well)

"Let me clear those cans for you, Mr. Pearson.", you tell the cook as you sweep the empty food cans into a sack.

The man lifts his eyebrows slightly in surprise, but the expression leaves his face as fast as it had appeared. With a gruff 'thank you' that he mumbles into his mustache, he turns away to continue his work.

Do you genuinely want to clean the camp up a bit? Yes. Do you have any ulterior motive with this? Absolutely.

Lately the cogs and gears in your mind have been turning and replaying the recent events that took place in Valentine and back in Colter. It's not an exaggeration to say that you downright suck at handling weapons and the wolf pack and the drunk man are just two of many reasons why you should start getting better at it.

Some of the people in the camp turn their heads in your direction as you haul the sack over your shoulder and make your way off the cliff towards the river. The clanking of the metal you're carrying is probably alarming the entire wildlife and everyone who passes by.

What you need is a nice, secluded spot so no one interrupts you and you know just the place. One of the boys has mentioned a clearing off road close by the river. The sound of the rushing water is going to drown out any noise you'll be creating.

After a 20 minute walk you reach your destination and start lining up the cans on a rock.

Okay, let's do this.

You squint your eyes to get a better aim and raise the revolver with both hands. You've seen Arthur shoot with just one arm before, but there is no way you'd be able to pull that off. It would look kind of badass though.

After firing a couple shots, you step closer to the targets to inspect your results and surprise! None of the bullets came even close to the cans and you shake your head in frustration.

So you try it again.

And again.

And again...

"Fucking shit!", you hiss under your breath and hurl the gun at the makeshift targets with an irritated noise emanating from your throat. Of course you miss that as well.

"Correct me if I'm wrong, but aren't you supposed to shoot at the targets and not around 'em?", a male voice behind you says and you turn around.

You let out an offended huff as Arthur hitches up his horse on one of the trees and you pick up your revolver from the ground.

"Easy for you to say.", you mumble and aim for the cans.

Suddenly you feel a pair of hands on your shoulders and the unexpected contact sends a startled shiver down your spine.

"Relax your shoulders a bit. You ain't gonna hit nothin' if you're stiff as a plank.", he says in a low voice. "Take a deep breath in and then breathe out. Once there's no more air in your lungs, shoot."

You can't imagine how much of a difference that's going to make, but you decide to take his advice anyways. After pushing all the air out of your lungs, you let your shoulders relax and pull the trigger.

Well, you might not have hit the target, but the bullet got definitely a bit closer this time. The corner of your mouth curl up into a thrilled grin and Arthur nods in your direction.

"That wasn't too bad. If ya keep up like this we might just make a fine gunslinger out of ya."

You let out an amused chuckle at his comment.

"Sure. I'm just happy if I manage to not accidentally put a bullet in my own head."

"That doesn't sound too ideal, no. I prefer ya alive."

The outlaw walks over to a tree and leans his back against it while lighting a cigarette. It doesn't look like he's in a hurry to leave anytime soon, so you keep on practicing.

None of the food cans are being knocked off, but at least you manage to hit the rock they're lined up on. That counts as a victory in your book if anyone asks.

"So, what are you doing out here?", you ask Arthur after emptying your cattleman of ammunition.

"I saw you leave camp with a suspicious amount of trash and thought I'd look into it.", he answers teasingly and pushes himself off the treetrunk. "I'm kiddin'. Strauss sent me to collect some debt."

Upon hearing the word 'debt', you snap your head up to look at him. Is he on his way to Thomas Downes right now? Or worse. Maybe he's already on his way back.

Silently you curse yourself out for not paying closer attention to the outlaw's activities, but it's not like you can follow him around the place 24/7.

"And who is the poor soul who owes us money?", you ask and try your hardest to sound casual.

"Some guy called Wróbel."

It feels like a great weight has been lifted from your shoulders when you hear the name and you bite back a relieved sigh. For a second there you really thought you have fucked it all up.

"Can I join you?"

The look Arthur gives you makes it seem like you asked him to shoot you between the eyes.

"Ah, I don't know about that. Collectin' money from people...it can get nasty and I wouldn't want you to get caught up in some crossfire."

"I can take care of myself.", you answer in a matter of fact way and raise the revolver for him to see.

At that he simply let's out a snort.

"You couldn't kill a mouse if it was blind, deaf and had no legs."

You make no effort to mask your offense, but decide to fight him no further on this topic. Yes, you want to go with him and help, but you're not stupid. You're aware that you'd be putting yourself and possibly him in danger unnecessarily.

With a sigh, you slide the gun back into the holster of your belt and start collecting the cans to put them back into the sack. It would be a good idea to hide it between some rocks and make this area your designated spot for shooting practice.

The thought of having to carry your makeshift targets from camp to here and then back again didn't fill you with much joy.

"I should head back I think.", you say to Arthur after cleaning up the space and he motions towards his horse.

"Let me give ya a ride home."

At that you shake your head. "Oh, you don't have to go out of your way to bring me home. You were heading out to the opposite direction and the walk isn't that long."

But it doesn't look like you can convince him to let you go by yourself.

"I don't mind the small detour. Come on."

With a soft smile on your lips, you hoist yourself up onto the back of the horse. Shortly after that Arthur jumps onto the saddle as well and the two of you start going.

It's a bit of a struggle to not slide off during the ride so you make sure to hold onto Arthur's jacket tightly. You just hope you're not squeezing him too hard. Not that that would hurt a mountain of a man such as him, but still.

Surprisingly enough, he is, this time, the one to break the silence between you. "You seem to fit in with everyone just fine."

He's right. Before your journey you were worried sick about what the others in the gang might think of you. You are no outlaw and have zero experience and knowledge about that line of work.

Sure, Arthur has talked about some members almost fondly in his journal, but that doesn't change what these people are at the end of the day. Criminals and criminals aren't known to be the welcoming kind.

"Because everyone is so nice.", you answer with a hint of disbelief in your voice. "Or most of the people are nice."

The comment at the end stole a quiet cackle from the man.

"If you think we're nice then I don't wanna meet the people you kept around before you met us."

Now it's your turn to laugh.

"Oh, you know what they say. Bad company is better than no company."

"I think that saying goes a little different.", he argues in a playful spirit.

The awkwardness that was always hanging in the air when you two first met has disappeared completely by now. It's safe to say that Arthur is one of the few people in the gang you feel fully comfortable with.

Funny, how fast you're starting to feel safe around him as well considering that he has killed, robbed and injured countless folks, but that's something that oddly enough never comes to mind when you're with him.

With some other gang members your brain and body automatically become more vigilant when you find yourself in their proximity. Not with him though.

The ride back to camp comes sooner to an end than you would have liked and you carefully slide off the horse. That one time you got off you almost fell face first into the ground and you'd prefer to avoid that. At least infront of people.

"Thanks, Arthur."

"Ah, as I said I don't mind a small detour.", he says with a wave of his hand.

"I don't only mean the ride."

The corners of his mouth lift for a split second before he tips his black hat in your direction and trots away with his horse. As you look after him, you don't notice a certain blonde woman join your side.

A knowing smirk is displayed on her freckled face and she playfully pokes your shoulder. "Look who's sweet on Arthur."

Heat shoots into your face and you hastily shake your head.

"Sweet on him? Who? Me? No." You're really not doing yourself any favors with how awful that denial sounded.

Karen on the other hand finds your embarrassment more than entertaining and she let's out a loud, hearty laugh.

"Relax! I'm just teasin' ya."

Knowing that she isn't being serious with her accusation does calm you down a bit. It's just that you don't want these people to get the wrong idea. Besides, you're not here to date anyone.

Catching feelings during your stay here would complicate things too much. You don't belong here and you're not here to stay.

Much to your own relief Karen stops teasing you immediately after and asks you to join her for a cup of coffee while you chat about your day. That's when your eyes fall on Sadie who's sitting on a log at the edge of camp.

Even in that distance you can't overlook how puffy and red her eyes are. Poor thing has been crying nearly everyday and Miss Grimshaw has started to give her a harsh time for not "contributing enough".

What does that woman expect from her? It's not like one can simply stop mourning over their spouse over night. Then an idea begins to form in your head and you walk over to Sadie after your talk with Karen.

"Hey.", you softly make your presence known to not startle the woman. People here seem to have the tendency to sneak up on others on a regular basis. "I wanted to ask you if you'd like to go run some errands with me."

She lifts her head to look at you, a thoughtful expression on her face as if she's considering your offer.

"I'm not too sure if I'm in the mood for shoppin'.", she answers. Only now do you take actual notice of her deep southern drawl.

With one casual movement of your hand you slide your coat aside to reveal your weapon belt and the weapon attached to it. If you remember correctly from the journal, Sadie is one unrestrained force of nature.

You might not have anything too exciting planned for the two of you, but your shopping destination might pique her interest.

"I need some bullets."

For the first time since you've met her, something flickers in her gaze as her eyes fall on the revolver. It's hard to tell what it means.

"I'll help ya prepare the wagon." With these words she stands up from the log and together you starting getting the horses and everything else ready.

Sadie is kind enough to take over the reigns which is something you're extremely grateful for. You don't feel confident enough in your driving skills to get out of the forest unscathed just yet.

"I had no idea you owned a gun.", she breaks the silence and your fingers trace over the leather of the belt.

"A friend gave it to me. For protection."

"And do you know how to use it?"

A bitter chuckle escapes your throat as you think about the unscathed cans back at your practice spot.

"Not at all."

She let's out an amused noise and shoots you a quick look. "I can teach ya if ya want."

Your eyes widen as you watch her from the side. "You'd really help me?"

"Of course. I can handle a gun. My husband and I-" The words get caught up in her throat as if she's choking on them.

Her eyes are fixed on the road and you can tell that the memories of her late husband still lay heavy on her. Of course they do.

You decide that it's better to not push the topic and instead place your hand on her shoulder. For the remainder of the ride you just sit in silence, but it's not awkward. It's actually kind of nice.

By the time you arrive at Valentine the sun is already setting and you hurry to the gunsmith. Thankfully Francis has given you a gun from the 1890s instead of a modern one. Otherwise you wouldn't be able to buy ammunition and goddamn, do you need it.

While you pay for a pack of bullets you catch Sadie inspect a rifle in the corner of your eyes. It looks so familiar in her hands and you're really starting to look forward to the shooting lessons with her.

It's a nice chance to build a connection with her and maybe, hopefully distract her for at least a short while. She needs a break.

"I'll head out and check the general store while we're here. Do you wanna come?"

She lowers the rifle and thinks for a moment before answering. "No, I'll look around a bit longer."

"Okay, see you at the wagon then.", you say as you exit the shop.

On your way to the general store you pass the saloon and it sounds like a whole commotion is going on in there. Any other time you'd just walk by, not paying it any mind, but there is an all too familiar voice booming through the entrance.

With your interest piqued, you step through the double swinging doors and find a very drunk, very confused looking Arthur.

"Lenny!"

Lenny is here too?

The outlaw spins around, screaming for the young man from the top of his lungs and visibly upsetting the other customers with the noise. Then his eyes fall on you and they light up in recognition while a wide grin begins to spread on his flushed face.

"Hey! When did ya get here?", he yells excitedly and walks over to you with swaying steps.

"How many drinks did you have?", you ask as you watch him struggle to keep his balance.

"A couple."

Another voice that you recognize chimes in. "Arthur! Where have you been? I was lookin' all over for you."

Lenny comes stumbling along with the same big smile on his face like Arthur. He too reacts absolutely thrilled at your presence and gives your shoulder a friendly pat.

Chuckling, you shake your head. "I shall leave you boys to it then."

"No, you should stay!", protests Lenny almost immediately which earns an eager nod from Arthur. It's so odd to see the latter man this...let's say bouncy to put it mildly.

"Sorry, I can't. Sadie is waiting for me outside."

You don't even give them the opportunity to try to talk you into staying some longer. With a quick pat on their shoulder, you swiftly start to leave. However their night is going to end, a voice in the back of your mind tells you to not get involved.

Sadie tilts her head in a puzzled manner when you return back to her and climb onto the wagon. "You didn't buy anythin'?"

"Nah, I got distracted, but it's okay. It wasn't important anyways.", you answer as you shake your head.

You bite back a chuckle when you remember the look on Arthur's face once he spotted you in the saloon. He looked so genuinely happy to see you.

The mental image stirs something up deep within you, but it vanishes before you could identify the feeling.

---

The midday sun is high in the sun and beating down on you. Pearls of swear are starting to form on your forehead and you wipe them away with the sleeve of your blouse.

Mr. Pearson had asked you to help him cut up some vegetables for the stew which you happily agreed to. It's a job where you can think and daydream by yourself without having to focus too much on the task at hand.

Even now you're lost in your thoughts until a mix of groaning and grunting abruptly rips you out of your mind palace. You look up to see where the noise is coming from and lock eyes with Arthur.

His expression is sour and his face is paler than ever. By the looks of it it must have been a long night yesterday. Lenny is following closely behind him and doesn't look any better.

"Seems like you boys had fun last night.", you comment with a smirk und Arthur takes a seat on a folding chair close to the cooking station.

"I don't even remember most of it.", he grumbles and runs his hand over his face. "I feel like shit."

"And you look like it too.", you reply and he let's out a bitter snort.

"Thanks."

You hand him a water flask which he gratefully accepts and chugs almost everything in one go.

"Why did you guys go out drinking anyways?" Curiosity is laying heavy in your voice. Sure, they drink a beer or two, but Arthur and Lenny don't really strike you as the type to get this piss drunk on a random occasion.

"Lenny came back from Strawberry all anxious yesterday, because Micah got arrested."

Everything within you basically gags at the mere mention of that two faced snake. Saying that the reminder of him alone makes you feel uncomfortable in ways you have never felt before is a blatant understatement.

"There's talk of hangin' him."

"Here's hoping.", you answer which earns you a cackle from Arthur.

"That's exactly what I told Dutch."

He hands you back the water flask and pushes himself up from the chair with a pained grunt. "I gotta head out though."

You follow his movement with widened eyes and raised eyebrows. "But you just got here. Shouldn't you rest a bit?"

"Nah, I gotta meet up with the boys to rescue Sean. We got a lead on where he is."

That name rings a bell. You haven't met him yet, but you know that he's been taken by some bountyhunters after that mysterious riverboat job everyone keeps referencing.

"Okay, just make sure to come back in one piece.", you yell after him and he simply lifts his hand to indicate that he heard you.

---

Arthur, Sean, Javier and Charles arrive late during the evening and loud cheering echoes through the camp. They have all missed him very much. Especially Karen who looks like she's going to tear up any moment.

"I had no idea you were so sweet on him.", you comment which earns you a slap on the shoulder.

"Oh, shut it.", she says through chuckles, but doesn't deny it.

The Irishman's return turns into a warm welcoming party. Drinks are being shared and the sound of Javier's guitar and laughter fills the air. The sight of Karen being practically glued to Sean's side steals an amused smirk from you.

Tilly who's sitting next to you at the fireplace sways her body from side to side in sync with the guitar's melody and she passes a whisky bottle to you. With a mumbled 'thank you' you take a swig from it and feel the warmth from the alcohol spread in your chest.

You're starting to really enjoy the gang's energy and the strong sense of community in this camp. It's starting to almost feel like a big family to you instead of just a bunch of random people who have happened to end up being grouped up together.

"Would you like to dance with me, Arthur?"

Mary-Beth stands up from a chair and straightens her blue skirt. He thinks for a second before he nods and places his hand on her waist. "Sure, why not."

You watch them with a soft smile and laugh quietly to yourself at the view. Arthur with his massive stature is moving in a rather clumsy and rough manner, but the grin on his face shows how much fun he's having.

It's so nice to see him like this.

"Why don't you go ask him to dance with you too?", Tilly asks and rips you out of your thoughts. You blink a couple times at her in confusion.

"What do you mean?"

Her lips curl up in a playful way and she nudges your shoulder with hers.

"You know exactly what I mean."

You awkwardly cough into your fist at her statement and shake your head. "It's nothing like that, Tilly."

The look on her face makes it more than obvious that she doesn't believe a word youre saying, but drops the topic much to your relief. To avoid any further embarrassment you decide to let your gaze wander somewhere else and stifle a yawn.

Maybe it's time to head to bed.

Some of the others have gone to sleep as well by now so it wouldn't be too weird of you to leave the party.

Before you get up from the log, you hand the whisky bottle back to Tilly and excuse yourself as you walk towards the tent that you're sharing with the other girls. A strained grunt leaves your lips and you stretch your back.

Sitting on that thing all evening and night has fucked with both your back and ass and now you feel as stiff as a catholic nun.

"Goin' to sleep already?"

With a startled noise you turn around to meet a particular pair of blue eyes and you let out an irritated huff. "Can you stop sneaking up to me all the time?"

"Im not sneakin'. It ain't my fault you're so jumpy."

"Sure."

Your discontent doesn't last long. Actually, now that you think about it you never manage to hold a grudge against the outlaw for too long. He doesn't always get on your nerves of course, but when he does the aggravation never stays for longer than half a minute or so.

"Weren't you dancing just now?", you ask and peek over his shoulder to see where he left Mary-Beth.

"Ah, I thought I should stop makin' a fool of myself."

"Well, I thought you looked quite adorable.", you point out, gaining a snort from the outlaw.

Arthur scratches his bearded cheek and nods to himself, looking as if he doesn't know what to say anymore. The same goes for you and you feel like you're going to fall asleep standing so you decide that it would be best to call it a day now.

You break the long stretched silence and motion towards your bedroll. "I should really get some sleep now though."

"Yea, 'course. Well, uh...goodnight then."

"Goodnight, Arthur."

You shoot him a warm smile and he tips his cowboy hat in your direction before joining the other again.

For some reason you can't shake off the feeling that there was more that he had wanted to tell you.

Taglist: @shackspossum

[nerdieforpedro]

The Long Road to Together

Tommy Miller x Original plus size female character (Velora)

Fanfiction 18+

Masterlist

Warnings: Angst, Fluff, drug addiction mention, pain management, anxiety, PTSD, mentions of death, possible dub con (maybe), body worship, Tommy Miller's dirty talk, fingering, oral sex (female receiving), P in V (practice safe sex everyone), pregnancy kink, domestic fluff, cheesy jokes

Summary: Velora has been apart of the Miller brothers' lives decades. She's particularly close to Tommy. They've shared countless memories with each other over the years and in a single night everything changes. If only they'd get out of their own way.

Notes: So, I put many subjects and themes I've wanted to write about in here. It should make sense, I had the wonderful @musings-of-a-rose beta it for me and as a fellow Tommy fan, I trust her. I did also add a subplot with Joel because, why not try one out? I really enjoyed this and for Tommy's character. I have a different take on him.

Word count: just under 16K (because Tommy's worth it!)

“You got anything for a bad back?” 

“Nothing that will actually take care of the pain. Best I can promise you is to dull it. You need to go see a specialist, Joel.”

“That sounds like it’s gonna take time I don’t have. You know I gotta…”

“Yeah, I know. Just let me know what appointments they have and I’ll see what my shifts are like old man. You can’t be folding over when Sarah’s just getting into high school. There will be boys there!” 

A slap was heard to Joel’s shoulder and he winced, letting out a curse as he hunched over further at his desk. The stress of running the business by himself was getting to him. Tommy had taken a sabbatical as he called it, the timing had been pretty poor. Thankfully, he had a woman who he considered a little sister to help him out. Her father had been friends with theirs and they always hung out together as children. In middle school, the family moved away for a time, but returned while the Miller brothers were in the middle of high school. Velora had just started high school and looked similar to how she did now, telling dumbass jokes, finding a reason to smack Joel and always being supportive. 

He organized the files that he would need for tomorrow and in particular, permits needed for a job the company would be starting on a ranch outside of Austin. Rebuilding a stable wasn’t too out of their depth, Joel just needed to research more on the permits required which he did, but damn if all the reading was making his head hurt even with his glasses on, add his back pain to that and he was miserable. He missed riding horses, but not so much he was willing to risk not being able to move for a few days. Velora had taken over administrative tasks that Tommy normally did as he was better at it and knew how to navigate the different offices they normally had to deal with the state and city, he was also much better at schmoozing suits and the like than his grumpy self. Velora helped out on her days off in between her shifts at the hospital. She sent Joel off for the evening and put away files that the elder Miller brother had taken out for review. 

“He’s got to learn to put this stuff back. Otherwise he’s never going to find anything.” Velora griped, she wore gray capri leggings because they were easy to move in and matched her white t-shirt. Usually she would dress a bit better for the office in case Joel brought any clients by, but he had been out most of the day, leaving her to get phone calls, further organize items and files. She was also trying to understand Tommy’s organization system which even though he had explained it over the phone twice, she still didn’t understand. “He’s been gone three weeks, like I get it but also I still don’t get what I’m looking at. It’s not even organized by color, number or alphabet, what the fuck is this?” Her brain hurt trying to work out the system. She thought Tommy had mentioned to her that it was by the date they took the client on, but there was no distinction between finished jobs and complete ones as those were mixed in and with different dates. “I feel like he could tell me five more times and I wouldn’t get it.” Shaking her head, she put the files where she thought they went near the front of the file cabinet and locked up the office, heading out to her car and driving home. Once in front of her small two bedroom, one and a half bath house, she sighed, happy to be home. She had a shift again tomorrow, but hopefully Joel would actually look for an appointment. Icy hot, tiger balm and heat packs could only do so much. Velora understood why Joel didn’t want to go to a pain clinic, he’d have to tell them about his past addiction issues with alcohol and it may affect his treatment plan, hell with some doctors, they just keep recommending tylenol and ibuprofen when that clearly hasn’t been working for him. He needed good pain management.

Kicking off her shoes, Velora flopped back on the couch and started at the ceiling. It was 8:30 at night. Too early to go to bed and too late to start any shows or movies.

“Where are you Tommy Miller?”

Elsewhere in the world…

The grass was crisp under his feet, the sun had just set not too long ago as he walked back down to the rock outcrop overlooking the rolls of green grass he had seen earlier that day. He couldn’t sleep again. The younger Miller brother had been worried about his brother Joel. He knew he didn’t deal too well with people even with Velora helping him. But he would text Joel later and maybe give Velora a call. There was more he needed to discuss with her than anyone else.

It had been seven years. They seemed to have passed by in a blink of an eye. Tommy recalled first joining the US Army, doing his patriotic duty and a way to use up the excess aggression he had from not really knowing where he was going next in life. At first it was fine, basic training then he was assigned to a platoon where he got to know other soldiers. It was when he was assigned to the 1st Armored Division that his optimism started to wear thin. His core group consisted of himself and five other members; they actually made it through Operation desert storm. What he saw there, the things he did, he never spoke about them except with the group and one person removed from the war. But the bodies, the smells, the tastes,, the sounds all of it overloaded everyone. Each man had their own way of dealing with it. One of the group was dishonorably discharged for using heroin he found overseas, but the Army never said what they did with the rest of it after removing it from belongings. He wasn’t the only one they confiscated it from, anyone who had it was dishonorably discharged but it was never made public what happened with the drugs. It was also never mentioned in great detail what they did to the country of Iraq. No one ever mentioned completely decimating and crippling a country, nearly burning it down to its foundation only for the same people who supplied the Army’s weapons and gear to switch profit off of a land that they aided in destroying. 

Tommy left the army after seven years of service, thankfully his brother allowed him in the construction company to work so he wouldn’t go completely insane. But his ‘Ironsides’ members weren’t so lucky. One died from an opioid overdose, another from drunk driving and two from suicide by gunshot. None of the funerals were covered fully by the VA, each family only received $1500 toward burial costs, but had full honors with all the pomp and circumstance. The two cousins in their group asked to have their ashes spread to their home which was Ireland, the only reason the veteran came to this place. It was beautiful though he had to admit. He may want to bring Joel and Sarah here, his brother would complain the entire time but he may get a grin out of it and Sarah would enjoy exploring the land. The younger Miller wondered if he should ask Velora to come too, she wasn’t one for the cold, but may like the greenery too. Watching his oldest friend muddle around the hilly terrain would be fun, he could steady her, show her the lakes and watch the sunset with her. Tommy felt he may not have cried as much if his Sweet Pea was here, she could crack a joke or just let him hold her, rock him  slowly as his head was on her shoulder. 

With two urns, one under each arm, Tommy carefully set one down and opened one, pouring the ashes out to scatter across the cool breeze that was blowing. He did the same with the second urn, waiting until another wind could carry the ashes away. Tommy had taken more time then he told Joel and Velora he would be gone, he didn’t mean to stay longer. It was just easier, he could work though his emotions more and not risk breaking down in front of them, though that had failed with Velora the night he told her he was going to spread that ashes per his brothers-in-arms wishes. 

Four weeks ago…

He had mentioned it like he was going to the store. She had asked him to explain and he didn’t. Tommy wasn’t going to until she pulled him into a hug. He didn’t realize it at the time, but tears had been running down his face. He remembered the warmth of her embrace and settled into the couch with her, almost laying on top of her to cuddle. She just ran her fingers through his hair, they didn’t say anything to each other, he tried to make as little noise as possible while sobbing. Her red shirt she had been wearing was soaked with his tears. Velora never mentioned his crying when he followed her to the bedroom and demanded to sleep next to her, promising to only hold her hand. She had smiled and told him it was fine if he needed more from her, to take what he needed. No matter if it had been money, time, food or those three DVDs he never returned, his old friend never complained. Velora would just smile and tell him it was okay. Even when Joel would get pissed with Tommy about the direction the company was going in to missing a game or two of Sarah’s (he really tried not to but sometimes the suits at the city were really long winded and insisted on drinks),  Velora would be there in his stead for his niece and tell him play by play as much as she could of the game when she would stop by in the evening. The veteran recalled that the night had been humid, despite the fan running, moisture stuck to their skin. Velora was in her simple thin nightgown and Tommy just wore his boxer-briefs to bed. 

Tommy may have took that a few steps too far. 

The night began with him holding her hand, that was fine for a time but, then he took her into his arms from behind, drawn to her soft curves that accommodated his taut muscles. The delicate oche tone of her skin glowed within the moonlight. It was when he kissed the back of her neck and his hand went to her breasts that she pulled away from his touch slightly,

“Tommy…don’t play around and go to sleep.” He heard her say, he couldn’t make out the inflection of her voice. His friend’s hips wiggled toward him, his free hand grabbed her hip, pulling it toward him.

“I’m not Sweet Pea. I need to touch you more, just let me, just for tonight.” A growl emerged from his chest, his teeth grazed her shoulder before nipping her lightly. Her gasps encouraged him further, she never said it, but a small smile always came to her lips when Tommy called her that. 

“Alright, but just…ah..” Velora wasn’t given a chance to finish her sentence. Her breast was plopped out of her nightgown as his hips grinded into hers. Tommy kept calling her his sweet pea in her ear and she reached a hand back to try and reach his cock, to feel it. “J-Just put a condom on and stick it in…” An order that Tommy wasn’t willing to follow right now, instead he pulled away from her, quickly slipped his boxers off and turned Vel on her back. “W-What are you doing? Why didn’t you just-” The nightgown she had on was over her head, the veteran hovered over her, he knew she would be angry but he would not fuck her the first time. Maybe the second time but not the first. Tommy had already planned other times he may bend her over. He wanted to make love to her in this moment, subsequent encounters could be messy and quick but the younger Miller brother wanted to savor her body as Velora was now, only for him..

“You told me to take what I needed.” His mouth took her erect nipple and large chocolate areola into his mouth, hearing her scream the first time convinced him that this was right. Her hands ran through his then medium length raven hair, tugging on it, his chest pressed into her stomach, sinking in it. The sensation had him grunt onto her nipple, rolling it with his tongue, his legs wrapped around her calf, his length dragging against her leg. Her body continued to writhe under his, his face soon in between her breasts nuzzling the sensitive skin between. Velora was looking down at him, panting, surprise on her face. She hadn’t expected him to fully undress her nor to try to explore her. “Velora,” Tommy paused and peered up at her, “I need all of you, so I’m going to take it all. Are you alright with that Sweet Pea?” He asked, moving upward and settling himself between her wide thighs. He wasn’t going to enter her yet. However, though she did spread her legs for him, Tommy closed her thighs around his waist so he could feel their soft embrace. 

“Yes, I told you to take what you need. I didn’t quite expect this way though.” Her digits danced along his bellybutton, then his stomach, not as firm as his military days, but still tight enough to display an ab or two. The pads of her fingers circle his nipples, small but at attention, all for her right now. “You don’t have to be gentle either Tommy. I’m here with you, for you. Just let go.”

“Sweet Pea, I want to be careful with you. You deserve that, always you hear?” Descending, he felt her heartbeat against her chest with his, glad to know he wasn’t the only one feeling like it might burst. “Give me your love Vel.” Lips crashed together, he bit her bottom lip, drawing a sliver of blood. He just said he’d be gentle but it was overwhelming, one of his hands took the back of her head and forced it forward, deepening the kiss, Vel mewled into his mouth and pressed her feet into the mattress to help move her hips forward, she felt the throbbing of Tommy’s cock just above her folds, a hand came between her and the velvet skin. Two fingers parted her lower lips and a squeal was heard when he released her head and it fell on the pillow. “Not yet Vel, gonna eat that dripping pussy.” He meant to use sweet words with her, that’s what she should be hearing, his Sweet Pea. Sliding back down, Tommy hoisted her thighs on his shoulders, giving each a small peck and pulling them so she could only see his hair for a small part of his forehead. When he spoke directly into her mound, he heard her say it,

“Fuck Tommy, make me cum. Sop my pussy up with your mouth!”

The younger Miller brother smacked his lips. “I’m going to have to see how dirty I can get you to talk Sweet Pea.” His nose ran up her slit, taking in her strong scent, he caressed her opening with his plush lips before slipping his tongue inside, rotating his the tip of his oral muscle was causing her cunt to quelch already, he then inserted it centimeter by centimeter , reveling in her screaming his name. His length continued to throb but his goal was to have her climax before entering her. The waves of contractions inside of her canal was constricting his tongue, he longed to have his cock inside of her, to have her continue to cry out his name while he could watch her face unravel. The pressure on the sides of his head increased as her large thighs pressed together in an effort to keep him right where he was, not that Tommy had plans to be anywhere else. His nose tickled her clit and provided a particularly strong clamp down from her. So he set his elbows against the mattress and forced his face against her mound, holding his breath as he used his nose and mouth to make her climax. With alternating curses, calling on the Lord and Tommy’s name, Velora reached her peak, the soldier was able to at least draw his face back a little before suckling on her clit, overloading her body, making it jerk. Tommy managed to inhale deeply, satisfied that his face was soaked with her scent and nectar. He ran two fingers through her cunt and brought them to her mouth. “Suck on them with that loud filthy mouth on yours. Turns out I needed this side of you love.” 

Her warm tongue quietly took her own juices from Tommy’s fingers, after they were clean, he got up from the bed and rummaged through his jacket and found a condom. He looked up at Velora who was turned on her side toward him, the easy shine of their affection for one another draped her body. Her curves and stretch marks on full display, ‘she’s mine’ he decided. ‘No one else’s, I’ll make damn sure of it.’ He crouched down next to the bed, meeting her at eye level, “Velora, you’re sure you’re alright with this next part?” He needed to know. They were friends first and foremost and he respected her boundaries, except tonight of course, but he wanted to make sure she was really okay with it. The woman nodded and took his hand in hers. 

“Tommy Miller, get in this bed and make love to me. You said you wanted my love. I’m giving it to you. Come to me.” She got up on her knees and held onto the headboard to keep herself from tipping over back onto the bed. “I told you to let go. Just have me. Please.” It was the look she gave him, so permissive and delicate. His arms wrapped around her once more as he kissed her, not deeply just to touch his lips against hers. Their foreheads touched and he met his nose with hers. 

“Velora, you’re a hellova woman.” Tommy smirked and laid her back, moving her toward the middle of the bed. He was in between her thighs once again as she opened herself before him. As he rolled the condom on his length, he marveled at her body; wide, tender, subdued and hushed for him, she bit down on her lip to quiet herself, presumably because he had mentioned volume and word choice. Tommy didn’t want her to quiet down now. He wanted her to go hoarse from calling his name, from what he did to her. Leaning forward, he pressed his tip into her folds, releasing himself and using both hands to cup her face, his thick fingers massaging her the top of her jaw, just under her ears, “Look at me Sweet Pea. Open your mouth, I want you to use those lungs.” A short nod from her was all it took, his hips eased forward and back easily for the first few pumps, only going in half way, keeping his eyes locked on hers as she cried out, 

“Oh…oh..fuck Tommy, you’re…spreading…me…” Velora whimpered, her thighs began to close again and his hands had to move to keep them open. His rhythm picked up as his elbows made contact with her knees pulling her legs back toward her chest and curling her body for a deeper angle, the pace picked up as he was now diving his cock fully into her flush with her mound and pulling back until only the head of length was inside of her. It was difficult, he could barely speak because her cunt kept sucking back in deeper, the slapping of their skin filled the room. Tommy raised one of her legs and turned his head to bite her calf, then licking it after, tracing his tongue over his teeth marks.

“This pussy is mine Sweet Pea, you won’t fit anyone else Vel. Goddamn you tight as a vice woman…” He murmured into her leg, pounding into her, he felt the pulse of his hardness growing closer to completion. Velora reached for Tommy, her arms stretched outward toward him, he dropped her legs and grabbed her love handles, continuing to roll his hips into hers. His forearms were scratched by her nails, leaving red marks on his olive skin. “Velora, you hear me? This cunt is mine only mine. Say it Sweet Pea.” A command with her pet name. It pushed her over the edge, 

“Shit yes, yes yes yes Tommy, my pussy’s just for you. Tommy Ahh!” Her neck flicked back as her walls closed around his heat, he was able to push into her six or seven more times before he released inside of her. The veteran didn’t pull out yet, dropping himself slowly on top of her plush form and ran his nose over her lips that were slightly parted, there was droop at the corner of her mouth, her eyes had tears dotting them, his large hand cupped her cheek against and tipped her face forward so her neck was no longer bent. “T-Tommy…T-Tommy that was…I…” Her quiet words expressed what he couldn’t. 

What has he done with his best friend? They’ve crossed a major line. He was worried that when they came out of this, she wouldn’t speak of it, like other insecurities and issues that he had told her about over the years. She never shied away from listening to his thoughts, however intrusive and depressive. But he didn’t want to be this vulnerable with anyone else. Even with other women he dated, there was always a barrier that he put up as far as feelings. They always told him he hid behind his humor and sarcasm. Tommy knew he did, but the one person he was always comfortable with was Velora, was he the same for her? He realized he had never asked, not that she didn’t share her own issues with him, but she didn’t talk about men she dated with him so much. Not that he encouraged it, he never wanted to hear about her dating life, no one would be good enough for his Sweet Pea, was he even good enough for her?

“Valora, rest. I’ll be right back.” A peck from his lips to hers before he slid out of her and got out of the bed. He went to the bathroom to dispose of the condom. Looking in the trash can, he scoffed at the loss, ‘should be inside of..’ before he could finish the thought, he cursed himself. Tommy knew he needed to stop, they hadn’t even had a conversation about what they just did, he was thinking about putting his seed inside of her?! “Fuck, I’m insane…” Shaking his head, he grabbed a washcloth out of her bathroom and returned to the bed, Vel had rolled on her side and was attempting to sit at the side of the bed, “Let me clean you up first, take it easy.” he brushed the back of his hand on the copper toned flesh of her hip. He tapped the washcloth on her thigh as she raised her leg and he held it for her, wiping front to back before tossing it on the dresser, knocking over a lotion bottle or two.

“Tommy, why would you throw it?” She asked, chuckling, ‘thank God, she still laughs. That’s good.’ His eyes went from her face to her slit, despite wiping it down it was still glistening, he licked his lips before setting her leg back down and letting her pull on his shoulder to sit up next to him at the bedside. Velora looked forward for a few minutes before speaking again. 

“Did you take all you needed lucky beetle?” She kept turned away from him. “Thanks for cleaning me up Tommy. We should head to…” his hand ran up her spine.

“We’re not doing anything until we talk about this. Vel, I…I want to..” She kissed his cheek and told him words that devastated him.

“This should be between us like always. I won’t ask you for anymore. We’re just- just friends. I hope I was able to help you some. We don’t have to talk about it.” The younger Miller brother remained silent as she wobbled to the bathroom to relieve herself, she closed the door. In his disappointment, he quickly threw his clothes on and dressed, leaving her home and hopping into his truck. A deep wail came from Tommy before he started the engine and drove home, he laid awake and slept through his alarm the following day. Within the week he was off to Ireland to distribute the ashes, he said he would be gone for a week, week and a half tops. He was gone for about three weeks.

Velora’s tears streaked her face in her bathroom. She should have told him that yes, she wanted her cunt to be just his. For him to only be with her and no one else, but she couldn’t. She knew how Tommy gets when he’s sad or frustrated by something he can’t control. That’s when he’d normally find a woman to fuck. She’d used it to her advantage, granted she didn’t think it would happen, it never had before. The woman wore the same nightgown she had before, bland panties, they cuddled like they normally did. He liked to be the big spoon. She knew she shouldn’t have given in, but it was Tommy, her Tommy. She’s known him for more than half her life, tried to date other men but they flat out don’t compare or worse, they actually suck. She couldn’t tell him that it was the first time she had sex fully naked and the lights on, that he asked to see her face and took the time to prep her before entering her. God he used the mouth that she dreamed about on her, just thinking about it now…She should have let him finish. But she was afraid he’d say it first…that it should be another thing between friends. The way she heard him hastily dress and run out of her house told her, she had done to him what men had done to her in the past: dismissed his feelings.

In the time he was gone Sweet Pea tried to go on dates, but she couldn’t stand the touch of another man, even from a side hug she flinched. Whoever said the best way to get over a man is by getting under a new one was wrong. She can’t even be near a new one.

Two days before arriving home…

Joel had spoken to Tommy two days before the latter’s flight home, asking what the hell he did to make V go on so many dates. Tommy was curious how his brother knew the information given that he didn’t think they spoke about subjects like that. Joel said that he heard it from Tess, Joel’s off and on again, whatever she was. That was an entire bag of worms he wasn’t getting into. At least his relationship with Velora wasn’t like that…but it could be. They started out as friends and now those two assholes can’t be in the same room without eye-fucking each other or cursing up a storm. Tommy explained that they had a miscommunication when he last spoke to her and that’s why they were unusually curt with each other on the phone. Joel gave it some thought, sure he was closer to forty-five than forty, but nah, Tommy wouldn’t have right? Not with…

“Tommy you didn’t sleep with V did you? Tell me you didn’t.” Tommy could hear Joel’s head droop. Damn him and using the same disappointing voice he uses when Sarah talks a bit too much trash at soccer and makes one of the girls on the other teams cry. 

“We sleep over each other’s homes fairly often after we hang out. I told you, it’s just..”

“Goddammit Tommy! You can’t do that shit, especially not to her. You know you can’t cut her out of your life like you do other women. I told you this shit would come back to bite you in your ass like a snake in a hole.” His older brother's condemnation of his actions past and present made Tommy suck his teeth.

“This from the guy who keeps holding on to a woman who only uses him for a few good times and disappears for months at a time. Fuck, she’s one who told me we’re not going to talk about it. Still be friends. What the hell else was I supposed to do? I took some extra time, what’s wrong with that?”

“The difference is I know what my relationship with Tess is, you asshole. You slept with a woman who’s been there for you through all your shit. I know you made it about you. It wasn’t about her at all, was it?”

Silence…his brother had him there. At the time, it hadn’t been about her, he even used the fact that she said he could use her however he wanted to do exactly that. Tommy exhaled.

“Then what the hell am I supposed to do now? I’ve already blown everything to shit. She’s doing the same thing I would, getting out there and meeting some guys. Why’d you have to tell me you asshole? I fuckin’ hate it…she’s out with some bastard who won’t even….”

“Eh, I don’t need details of what ya’ll did. And it’s not really going that well. She told Tess that she freaks out when the guys try to touch her, even holding her hand. It’s all for show, guess trying to prove something to herself. Both of ya are a damn pair.” Joel chuckled on the line, the first time during their conversation. Tommy followed suit and a low rumble of laughter. 

“We’re two people who make shitty ass decisions. Just, see if Tess can get her to hold off ‘till I come home. I know her, it’s only making things worse and she’s going to be in head about it. All of it.”

“Yeah, on that same token little brother, get your head out of your ass and talk to the woman. Velora deserves that much at least. You’ll have to get her to listen tho’. I don’t think she’ll be keen on ya right now.”

“Shut up and just pick me up at the airport in a few days. Bring Sarah, I miss my cute niece.”

“Don’t tell me to shut up and then mention my daughter. I shouldn’t bring her just to spite ya. But she wants to ses you too. Loves your stupid ass. I guess you’re a’right at times Tommy. Take care, I gotta go to bed.”

“Lucky you. You can sleep. I’m just awake for no damn reason. You aren’t the worst big brother. See you in a few days.” 

The brothers smiled as they ended their calls. Joel trotted upstairs and kissed Sarah goodnight as she was already in bed. She stirred slightly and a smile formed on her face at her father’s warmth. One of the few times Joel didn’t look like he was completely over everything was whenever he gazed upon his daughter, his only light. 

It was 3:15 am where Tommy was packing up most of clothes, he had brought a backpack and a duffle bag that was significantly lighter now that the two urns weren’t in it, plus he wouldn’t need to check his bags this time so he might get through their airport quicker and get home. He went out into the cold night air with his coat on, hands in his pockets and hair tied back. The puffs of hot hair leaving his nose made him chuckle, he thought of her again, hoping that she hadn’t had too many dates in his absence but some to make her feel better. He didn’t want them to have gone well of course, but if she has the dates that’s fine. Joel wasn’t wrong, he did need to speak to her when he got back, he just had no clue what to say. 

Sorry for fucking you? Sorry for telling you that I don’t want anyone else to see you like this? That I’m especially sorry for not doing this years ago when I first realized that my feelings for you went deeper than that of a friend and maybe sabotaged some of your dates, sent messages from your phone and comforted you when the guys of course stopped communicating with you. Thankfully I only did that a few times before you caught me and told me to just tell you if I thought a guy was trash. I brushed you off because I would tell you they were all trash, but I knew I was garbage too because I was still fucking around, so i couldn’t tell you that. I didn’t have the right. Actually, that might be why you said what you did that night, you knew I didn’t have the right to you. I used you once again and why should I feel like I’m entitled to more? Just because of how you said my name, how you seemed surprised when I wanted to see you and hold you, how good you felt in my arms, how happy I am when I’m in yours…I’ve really screwed the pooch on this one. 

The short walk and the cold air gave Tommy pause as he found himself at the same rocky outcrop that he had spread the ashes over. “Had I asked, you would have come with me. I should have just asked…I have to tell you sorry in person, Sweet Pea.” The stars were hanging in the sky, twinkling at the haunted man. He began slowly back to his cabin and was finally able to sleep, there was no one to hold him when he shed his tears that night.

Velora had tears of a different nature, she was able to finally kiss one of her dates, it was a fair kiss, definitely not like her one with Tommy. She compared him with everyone now that she had a taste of him. Her date suggested that they go back to his place to which she declined, there was no spark, no longing, no anticipation. The man was good looking, could put sentences together, paid for dinner, seemed nice, no real reason to not try him out except he wasn’t Tommy Miller. He didn’t have his dark hair, deep brown eyes, that goofy looking mustache that tickled her tummy, his cinnamon skin or velvet voice. This man was none of those things and it wasn’t his fault. It was hers for agreeing to this date. Vel’s friends were proud of her for getting out there and exploring her options, but she was going through the motions, no matter if it was work, helping out Joel and Sarah or just moping at home, it was all hollow. The man walked her to her car, to which she thanked him for the date and drove home. 

Once home, she hopped in the shower and wash the date away, scrubbing her inner thighs especially as he had tried to finger under the table, but seemed to have difficulty navigating her large thighs, she couldn’t tell if he just hadn’t been with a larger woman or was out of practice in general. Velora got out of the shower, dried off and brushed her teeth, using extra mouthwash, she didn’t want to taste that man at all. 

Sitting on the bed, she looked at herself in the mirror, wrapped in her towel. This was the room she was taken by Tommy or more apt, she offered herself to him. Happily. The circles under her eyes were darker and she chuckled, it’s not the first time she had cried over Tommy Miller, but it was usually because he had done something stupid and not the other way around. It was enough to keep that man in a place that would freeze a witch’s tit an extra week and a half. 

He may have told me that he wanted to be friends with benefits or maybe that he actually had feelings for me, but I didn’t let him talk. These men aren’t Tommy and it’s not their fault. I should have told him years ago but I didn’t want to lose him as a friend. Tommy, Joel and Sarah are family and I just couldn't…I still may lose them anyway. I shouldn’t have told Tess why I was crying and dating. She likely told Joel and…would he know? Is that why Tommy hasn’t come back yet? My head hurts. I feel like shit. Tommy’s the only one that looked at me like that, he touched me from head to toe and told me that I was only his. It was likely just dirty talk but still, it was nice to hear. Pfft, just nice? It was what I’ve always wanted to hear. I just didn’t want to be second anymore…Second to his grief, to his anger, pain and second to whoever the flavor of the month was. I’m tired of being second, I want to be first.

Vel laid across her bed and started at the ceiling, her tears were steady and she gave up trying to wipe them away. She woke up the next morning with a stuffy nose from not covering herself properly before sleeping. 

“Fuck, even my nose is tired of my shit…”

The day Tommy gets home…

Tommy arrived at the airport around seven in the evening, he was almost home. He had called Joel to pick him up, the uncle was excited to see his little niece as his brother said he would bring her. Normally he would call Vel but he couldn’t see her yet. Sarah and Joel greeted him warmly in the drop off area and helped him lay his bags in the truck. The brother chatted about how business had been and Sarah chimed in about soccer and school. The bright young teen did have something important to share.

“So Dad, we’re going to have pizza tonight right? Since Uncle Tommy’s back.”

“Yeah pumpkin I told you we would.” Joel sounded puzzled, unsure why his daughter was confirming plans they had already discussed. Tommy did not like the sound of this, it’s never good if Joel is surprised. He knew his brother stayed prepared. 

“I invited Aunt V to eat pizza with us, you got three pizzas right?” Tommy glared at Joel who kept his eyes on the road. His daughter may be in cahoots with Tess, which surprised him because he didn’t think Sarah liked the woman. He foresaw major issues going forward. 

“I ordered three because I thought it was going to be the four of us. You didn’t mention Vel.” The older Miller brother said slowly, he needed Tommy to know this was not his idea, and frankly he didn’t want the clusterfuck this was going to be, to be in his house.

“Well, Aunt V has been kinda down lately, hasn’t she Uncle Tommy?” Sarah leaned forward in her seat and patted Tommy's shoulder. He couldn’t lie to his only niece, but he also was not going to speak about his love life to a fourteen year old.

“I’ve been away Peanut so I wouldn’t know. Has she now? We should cheer her up.” Tommy bit his lips, and rocked forward, Joel knew those motions were, he was self-soothing. He was so pissed, but couldn’t say anything because he would sooner die then show Sarah anything other than her sweet uncle. Joel knew this was going to be a problem when they were alone. 

“Baby girl, you are so loved.” is all Joel managed to say before cutting on the radio.

Tess was at Joel’s house paying the pizza man and Velora was sitting on the couch. Tess was humming, this woman they all maybe saw three months total out of the year. It was weird, but Joel loved it so Vel figured she would just keep her trap shut. She shouldn’t speak about anyone’s relationship since she had mucked hers up with Tommy. Though a part of her wanted to look nice for him, so she ended up pinning her hair up, exposing her neck and wearing an olive green three-fourth sleeve shirt dress, she also may have left the top button open so she had a bit of cleavage showing but not too much. Sarah was going to be there after all. Vel also made sure to put on her favorite lotion from Bath & Body Works, ‘into the night.’ Maybe she was hoping for something to happen, at the very least, she wanted to be able to talk to him, likely not about the last time they saw each other but at least be civil.

The door opened and Sarah burst in, hugging Vel and snuggling into her, commenting on how good she smelled, Joel carried a bag of Tommy’s and hugged Tess, giving her a kiss on the cheek. That’s when Vel lost her breath, Tommy Miller strode through the doorway and set his backpack on the floor, nodding toward Tess. His eyes met Vel’s and he went to speak as she did , but nothing came from either of them. It looked like Sarah was going to say something but Joel suggested that they eat before the pizza gets cold. Everyone ate and listened to Tommy’s trip and embellished stories, Vel soaked up his laughter and smile, wondering how she would feel if he were to tell her he didn’t want to speak to her again, as he did other women. She was going through the motions again as Joel carted Sarah off to bed before long, she had fallen asleep across Velora’s lap. A place Tommy wanted to be. She looked beautiful, the earth tone dress looked gorgeous on her. It was then that he was surprised, Tess offered Vel a ride home. Apparently, a car ran a stop sign and rear ended her. She hadn’t been injured but her car was in the shop for repairs. Joel and Tess had been giving her rides from home to work. Tommy saw an opportunity. He had left his truck at Joel’s so he could drive home once he made it to their house after the airport. 

“I can drive you home Sweet Pea.” He stated quietly, setting a hand on her shoulder, he stepped in between Tess and where Vel was sitting. Tess was about to interject but Joel shook his head, signaling to let them be. Velora nodded. 

“Sure, thanks Tommy.” With that, she stood and thanked Tess for the offer giving her and Joel hugs before slipping her flip flops on and heading out with Tommy. He opened the truck door for her and she climbed in, he took special care to take a gander at her legs which the moonlight was reflecting off their well moisturized sheen. Tommy then got in the truck and started driving. 

“Tommy…I-I’m sor…”

“Leave it for when we get to your place. We need to sit and talk face to face.” The grave tone he used worried her, was this really happening? Was she going to lose her best friend over the best sex she had?

Once at her home, she opened the door and Tommy locked it after they got in, Velora set to opening a bottle of whiskey and pouring them both glasses with one cube of ice each. She sat next to Tommy on the couch and slowly sipped on her drink, clicking her nails on the glass. Tommy took a large swig and set his on the coffee table, taking hers and placing that on the table as well.

“Velora, I need you to listen to me. Don’t say anything yet.” 

“T-Tommy, just you’re not going to leave right? Just forget it. Just don’t tell me to go away.” His eyes widened, that wasn’t what he expected. He placed a hand on her thigh and squeezed to try and calm her, but that only made her jump. “I know I shouldn’t have, honestly you’d never taken me up on it before. I wanted to see how far you were going to go, I didn’t expect…not that i didn’t enjoy it, but if it means we can’t be friends then, I’ll forget about it.” Her speech was pressured and rapid, eyes wild and darting around, when she did focus on Tommy’s face, he saw that she was frightened. 

“Sweet Pea…Just give me a…” Tommy tried to cut her off to explain but she kept going.

“You can’t call me that anymore. You can’t say it like that. Sweet Pea, it makes me wet each time and I can’t, I can’t Tommy Miller! We’re friends, you can’t call me that, not after…” The tears that she had been avoiding since she saw him walk though Joel’s doorway broke through, it was Tommy’s turn to hold her and to console. It was then he realized he wasn’t the only one that had been having feelings over the years. How long had she been in love with him? How long had he been hurting her? How long had they been hurting each other?

“Velora I don’t want to be just your friend. I feel the same way. Honey please…” Tommy whispered as he brought her close, her tears were wetting his shirt, but it was fine by him. He just needed to make her understand that he didn’t want to share her. But he also thought maybe he shouldn’t undress her this time.

After some time, she stopped just embracing her, small hands wrapped around his back, pressing on his shoulder blades. They were quiet except for a few sniffles. Vel leaned back and kissed Tommy’s cheek, her face puffy from her waterworks,

“I’m sorry I didn't let you talk, well this time and especially the last time. I just wanted to avoid talking about it. I couldn’t handle you telling me it didn’t mean anything.”

“Velora. That’s not anything I would ever say to you. And it wasn’t what I was going to say the other night either. I planned to tell you that I don’t speak like that to anyone, even during sex and that I didn’t want you seeing anyone else. I don’t want to see anyone else. Vel…I…” Tommy was cut off by her lips, not forceful but clearly to quiet him again, he cupped her face and leaned into the kiss, letting out a small moan. He did let her go after he licked her bottom lip and she didn’t allow him in. Not that type of kiss he figured.

“Just a little at a time Lucky Beetle. Please a little at a time. You just told me something major, I can’t have you say that I love you right now too. I know you like to get things all out in the open but just let me sit in it a bit.” The explanation made sense to him, in his haste to share his feelings, he forgot that she needs things in pieces, slowly. It’s why he loved talking to her because she could help him see things part by part, but that was clearly different in a relationship aspect. Her hands raised to play with his hair, then ran along his cheeks and poked his mustache. “It’s not that I don’t want to hear it, but I just need time. It won’t be too much. I promise.” He nodded, accepting her proposal.

“Should we get you cleaned up? Your face looks a mess Sweet Pea. Er, not that…” The woman let out a bellowing laugh, it was a sound that he was elated to hear. He hadn’t heard it for weeks and the last time he did, was one of his highest and  lowest points.

“Yeah, I know I look a mess.” She stood up and patted his shoulder for him to follow her to the bedroom. “Tommy, I should tell you, or rather I don't know if you already heard from Joel, I have been on dates since you were away. A few…” A drawer opened and she got out a pair of boxer briefs and a t-shirt for him. Tommy had his own drawer at her house and she did at his, they had for years. “Like four dates,” She turned to face him, but kept her eyes to the ground, still she felt she needed to be honest. “None of them panned out. They weren’t you, I compared them all to you. Even the last one…” Her arms crossed over to stomach as she held her elbows, Tommy could fill in the gaps but he still needed to know.

“How far did you go with him?” He asked flatly. He readied himself for the potential answer that she may have slept with someone, it’s not like he hadn’t done the same thing in the past, though while he was away he didn’t think to. The vet hadn’t expected Velora to take a page from his playbook as far as fucking away feelings.

“Kissing and he tried to…well not that he could find what he was trying to finger. It’s not like mine’s in a different place than a smaller woman’s, you just have to go a little deeper.” Her eyes rolled as she complained and Tommy chuckled, it was entertaining  hearing her mock another man and gave him a sense of pride. 

“Sounds like you had a tough go of it hun.” He placed his hands on his hips, his mustache continued to dance above his upper lip as she continued to chuckle. Velora shook her head and threw the clothes at him, which he caught. “Thanks for telling me though, you're honest to a fault.”

“Shut up Miller. I’m going to shower first.” A small smirk greeted her lips as she grabbed her own nightshirt and panties before heading into the bathroom. Tommy set his clothes on the bed and went back into the living room to finish his whiskey. They felt more normal, like themselves. It was good, but he didn’t want it to stay like this. How else was it supposed to feel?

Velora took a quick shower and brushed her teeth, remembering the glass of whiskey she had and that mint likely wouldn’t taste good with it. She tossed her worn clothes in the hamper and found Tommy sitting on the couch, looking at his empty glass. “Did you want mine too? It doesn’t go well with colgate.” Tommy shook his head and downed her glass as well before heading into the bedroom and stripping, then into the shower. When he came back out, he put his clothes in a small pile in the corner of the room out of the way. The pair sat on the bed next to each other.

“So…”

“So…what do we do now?”

“We should sleep, talk more about things with fresh minds.”

“Did you want to go get breakfast tomorrow?”

“Sure, though I should probably check in with Joel to see if he needs help at the office.”

“It can wait until the next day, he’s actually doing better. Tess convinced him to go to a pain clinic.”

“Really? He left that part out when he was updating me. Old man with a sore back.”

Velora climbed up in the bed and slid under the covers, Tommy watched her and wondered if he could really sleep in the same bed as her without touching her. He should be able to, he has self-control. He followed suit and slipped under the covers as well, turning on his side away from her. If he faced her, he would feel tempted to touch her and after they had a positive conversation the last thing he needed to do was compromise that again.

Turned out it was not up to Tommy Miller whether things were going to happen or not.

Velora became the big spoon to Tommy’s little spoon and that was fine until the sun started to shine through the curtains of her bedroom window. Tommy rolled over on his back and Vel’s leg wrapped around his slim waist. That would be fine, if his hips hadn’t shifted up slightly and a familiar bulge touched her inner thigh. Exhaling, she opened her eyes to see if he was awake, he was not, his breathing still steady and his face in a neutral position. Her finger started to circle his dark nipple, she sank her body weight on top of his abdomen and rested her forehead on his chest, her soft digits inched along both sides of his clavicle. “Fucking delicious menance Tommy.” Vel hummed into his chest, sturdy hands took hold of her hips.

“Am I now? Right back at ya Sweet Pea. I thought I was having a damn good dream. Looks like wakin’ up is even better. Didn’t know you were such a vixen.” A low hum emerged from Tommy’s lips and he sat up, holding her over his hips. “Don’t move, you’re ridin’ me this mornin’ Sweet Pea.” His eyes had a soft glow to them, placing his lips over hers before she could protest, he knew what she’d say, to lay her back down because she was too heavy, but he didn’t want to, He wanted to watch as she bounced on top. Her hands moved from his chest to his shoulders, grasping tight, unsure how much pressure to put on him. Tommy, released her hips to slide his boxers down, unleashing his swollen member from the cloth confines. He then slid her thin wet panties aside to touch her puffy lower lips, a long moan was released from Vel as the mixture of cool air and warm callused fingers entering her, made her squirm. “Sweet Pea, you’re ready for me this morning aren’t ya? Fuck Vel, we wasted too much time. I could have had a ring on your finger and Sarah could have a cousin or two.” Her eyes shot open, did he just…? She pulled back, making her ass press against his thick cock, a gasp escaped from his mouth.

“Tommy, d-did you just…what?”

“I don’t say things I don’t mean Velora. You don’t want me to say three words fine. I know many a way to tell you the same damn thing woman.”

“Well you wanna try this morning?” Her suggestion made him kiss her neck, licking it as his fingers pumped inside of her slowly. “T-Tommy, give me your…”

“My what Sweet Pea? I’ll have to be careful where I call you Sweet Pea. I can’t have you gettin’ this wet at a cookout.” He smiled into her neck, before biting it. One of Vel’s hands grasped the back of his head, tugging it toward her neck.

“Fuck Tommy. Your cock. I want your cock. I’ll make a baby with you. Give it to me.” She yelped as his fingers started to move faster, her nectar dripping down his palm.

“Not yet, I have to show you who can find your pussy with these fingers.” His mouth left her neck and found her lips again, biting her lower lip as she moaned his name. He could watch her like this for the next hour, maybe hours. 

“Don’t be an ass about it Tommy.” Her hips were moving faster, her hands came back to his shoulders as she began moving up and down instead of in a circle.

“Look at you, quick study like always Sweet Pea. Be my angel and soak my fingers.” Tommy commanded, curing his head to nipple at the top of her breast. He felt her squeezing his fingers, then the flood of her slick down his wrist as he slowed down his fingers to match her body’s release and subsequent decrescendo. She sat panting on his lap, her eyes heavy as she met his dark brown orbs again. “Velora, you’re sure I can cum inside you? We still have a shit ton to talk about.” He saw her nod but needed her to speak to him so he didn’t move.

“Tommy, I’ve dreamt of you getting me pregnant and raising a family with you. We’ll work out the details later. It may not even happen this go around. We’ll have plenty of other times to practice. I love you Tommy Miller. I want to make a home with you and a family.” Velora kissed Tommy’s forehead and reached behind her ass, taking his hot member in her hand, teasing his head, “I too am not going to let anyone else have this cock if I have anything to say about it.”

Tommy wondered why he hadn’t seen it, how he could have been so blind, but that moment passed, “Did you have me not tell you I love you so you could say it first?” Vel chuckled as her small hand stroked his cock, “You’re my petty ass vixen angel and I love you. Take off that gown. We don’t fuck clothes in this house.” A beamng chuckle was shared between them as she removed her gown and tossed it on the floor and Tommy assisted her in lifting up to remove her panties, he then shimmied his boxers off and he sat her right back in his lap. “Ready Velora? I’ll ease you in slow.” 

Velora’s hand guided Tommy’s cock to her soaked folds, slipping inside of her easier than she thought, though she didn’t expect her hips to slam flush with his. She let out a loud whimper from the expansion inside of her, the pulsing heat, the grimace disappearing from his face once he was inside of her, she remained still to adjust and was unsure if she should move, it felt as if he was piercing her womb and stomach. It felt like they were finally in the right place and the right time with each other. But she wanted more, she would take from him until he had nothing left to offer her, He hadn’t said a word until she pulled on his shoulders and pressed her feet into the bed to move up, only making it where half of his cock was still inside of her. “Tommy, I don’t think I’m going to be able to do this too long, damn…did you get bigger while in Ireland?”

Tommy still didn’t answer, he was focusing on not shooting his load into her after she sat her full weight on him. Velora was able to take all of him in one stroke, a feat that hadn’t been performed by any other woman he had been with. Now with her moving, he was twitching even more and it felt as if the wrong move or loss of concentration would have him prematurely released. However, when she commented about his size, his eyes open to see the woman that he loved struggling to ride him, it was breathtakingly slow, the perfect pace to make him last longer. “Sweet Pea, I’m gonna be rough for a few, you’re doing the Lord’s work up there. Need to know how it feels to fill you to the brim with my seed Velora.” Bewildered, Vel’s mouth formed an ‘o’ as he began, taking ownership of her hips and forcing his upward into her, she truly started to spring off his member, leaving only his bulbous head inside of her before bringing her back down so his balls smacked her ass.

“Goddamit Tommy! I’m gonna break, Ah…Tom-Tommy..” Her voice cracked as she screamed, one hand dug into his shoulder, her nails drawing blood from his skin as her other hand cemented itself at the base of his skull. Her back was already arching, she was trying to stop her walls from sputtering, to draw this sensation out, him making her and her cunt cry for him. Miller’s grunts increased with his pace, his goal was to stuff her with his cum and he would succeed this morning. His mouth found her round shoulder, her light stretch marks broke though the rest of her brown skin, he started licking them, but felt his teeth start to dig into the soft flesh. “Ah..chew baby, Bite me Tommy..!” She continued to call his name, it was a ballad leading to their mutual end. Velora came first, her nails, raking across his back and head as her cunt attempted to milk his cock of its contents. Tommy was able to get in a few more pumps before he felt it, finally, thick ropes coated her walls as he moaned her name into her shoulder, tasting something metallic on his lips. They remained still, regaining air in their lungs, Tommy fell on his back with Vel on top of him, her breasts landing on either side of his head as her chest fell on his face.. He tilted his chin up and landed a string of kisses in between and on the tops of her breasts. She hummed as she stroked his hair, feeling him soften and start to slip out of her stretched pussy. Thankfully, only halfway.

“Velora, you alright honey? Didn’t break I see. You’re too strong of a woman for that.” His familiar glow returned to his face as she looked down at him and nodded. 

“I’m better than I thought I would be. You might be the death of me yet Tommy. I don’t know if I’ll ever get to just relax again.” Her bubbly sounds had Tommy trace his hands along her love handles and back. 

“If anything, I’ll go first. You started it this morning, remember?” He reminded her as she raised up off his flaccid cock and plopped beside him and he pulled the covers over the both of them. His hands returned to her waist as she nuzzled in the crook of his neck. “We’ll have to check our injuries later, let’s get some sleep. I love you Velora.”

“I love you too Tommy.” The two found sleep in each other's arms for the time being.

The next morning…

A series of loud knocks was at Velora’s front door.

Sarah had been adamant about seeing her uncle Tommy. Joel and Tess tried to assure her that he’s fine, he’s resting up from his long flight, which might be true though Joel doubted it. The fact remind that he did leave his bags at his place from when he drove Velora home last night. Sarah was worried that Tommy may not be happy with Aunt V going out on dates and he could have argued with her and might be moping around his house. It was plausible and Tess found it convenient to need to drive into town for a meeting or two, which she did not have to do before this conversation started.

“You shoulda never told a child about grown folks business.. Tess.”

“Sarah’s a teen, not an idiot. She knows things have been weird with them. Plus she overheard Vel and I talking, I didn’t tell her anything.”

“And now you have to go? After you start some shit?”

“They were meetings I thought were pushed back and now the parties want to meet. It’s annoying and horrible timing but -”

“Seems like good timing for you.”

“Joel, don’t start that shit again. You always do this get mad at me and then-”

“And then you leave and stay gone, not talking to me for weeks or months at a time. Would it kill you to be consistent Tess? Lord knows I am.”

Tess held up her hands, done with the conversation for now. She headed for the door. “Joel, I’ll be back later tonight. Take that time to calm down so we can talk like two adults.”

Joel crossed his arms and looked at the ceiling. He felt small arms wrap around him. “Dad, why don’t you just talk to her instead of picking a fight?” The older Miller brother kissed his daughter’s forehead and smiled. 

“Your old man’s stubborn as a mule baby girl. I gotta be right, even if it kills me.”

“We’re going to take uncle Tommy’s stuff by his house right? I want to show him my new trophy. I fell asleep before I could show him last night. Joel couldn’t say no even though he was fairly certain his brother wouldn’t be home. Gathering Tommy’s junk, he threw it in his truck and drove over to the house. His brother’s truck was absent from the driveway so since he had a key he dropped off the bags inside. Sarah still insisted on seeing him so he drove to Velora’s where now he was knocking on the door. 

When there was no answer, he turned to his daughter who shocked him once again,

“You think they’re going to be friends with benefits or actually date? But they know each other pretty well so maybe not for long. I’m going to be a bridesmaid or the maid of honor.”

“Sarah honey, that’s putting the cart before the horse baby girl.”

“Dad. I’m fourteen. I know these things.”

“Where did my sweet girl go? I don’t want you to know these things.”

Tommy climbed out of bed first, he heard chatter outside the door so he figured he had some time. He relieved himself in the bathroom and grabbed a warm rag for Vel, cleaning between her legs. He couldn’t help but use two fingers to push some of his cum that had leaked out back in, that made her flinch and wake up. “Good morning Sweet Pea, better late than never. Fell asleep before I could clean ya. Someone’s at the door. Goin’ to tell them to kick rocks.” She nodded and rolled over toward the nightstand to check the time, two in the afternoon? It was pretty late.

Tommy popped his jeans on and didn’t worry about boxers. The cold floor felt good under his bare feet as he walked to the door, now on the other side, he heard two voices that he didn’t want to see right this minute. “Welp, it was going to happen sooner or later.” He unlocked the door and swing it open, 

“Afternoon brother, little Peanut.” Joel noted Tommy’s messy hair that was sticking all over the place and that he seemed to have some bruises on his abdomen. Dammit, really? My daughter has to see you like this…

“Hey little brother. We took your crap to your house. You good? Your hair is a little…” Joel studdered, first Tess and now Tommy, why were the adults he knew so damn bothersome and exposing his sweet daughter to things she shouldn’t know until she’s his age, scratch that, he needs to be cold in the ground before Sarah even thinks about, such things.

“Uncle Tommy, is Aunt V alright? If you look like that, what does she look like? Did you put a hurt on her?” The youngest Miller asked with a head tilt. Both men remained silent. Joel was the one now with his arms crossed and rocking between his heels and the balls of his feet. 

“She’s taking a bit of a nap right now, Peanut. I can stop by the house later-” 

“I'm alright, You should maybe go get freshened up though Tommy.” Velora walked up behind Tommy in a loose gray t-shirt and black leggings and tugged on the waist of his jeans to signal he should head back inside. Vel stood in the doorway and gave a stern look to Sarah before bursting into laughter. “You’re a firecracker young lady. You’re going to give both your father and uncle heart attacks. Please let your father hold onto his dream that you’re still his baby girl.”

Sarah stepped forward and gave her aunt a hug, patting her back and niggling into her. She whispered, “Aunt V, you look a lot happier. Both Dad and Uncle Tommy can be kinda dumb so don’t be too mad at him.” Vel chuckled and patted the teen’s head,

“I won’t. I promise. All adults are dumb at times, Peanut. It’s our claim to fame. I love you, you little scamp.” She kissed her forehead and let her go, Joel nodded and he headed back to the truck and left with Sarah. Asking her questions about what she knew about ‘putting a hurt on someone’ and where she had heard it. He didn’t really want to know, he just needed to identify whose knees he needed to break for telling his daughter this information.

Tommy was in the shower, using Velora’s green tea and jasmine body wash. It smelled nice on her, he wasn’t much for smelling like a flower, but he did need to be clean. He was lathering his chest when his Sweet Pea entered the shower naked and put her hand over his, helping him to lather himself. He chuckled at her eagerness to touch him, he was planning on initiating later but he wasn’t opposed to having a bit of slippery fun. He reached beyond the shower curtain and grabbed a second washcloth, the basket they had been neatly folded in fell over, but that could be tidied later. Tommy was quick to wet it and turned around, nearly falling back against the shower wall at Vel’s hair in her hot pink shower cap. Her lips pinched together as she pushed slightly on his chest to signal she was not amused. 

“Sweet Pea, you can’t tell me that’s not funny though. It had to be that neon, bright ass pink?” He cackled in between her soft hits with the soapy washcloth.

“Dammit Tommy, you know I can’t get my hair wet unless I plan to wash it and do that whole process. Stop laughing..ha, ha.” The woman started giggling along with him, the pair of them laughing until they wheezed. 

Tommy took his washcloth and ran it over Velora’s shoulders and took special care under her arms. He rung the washcloth out over her breasts and added more of the body wash to make the lather thicker before circling around each breast, carefully lifting them from their lowered position. Velora continued to drag her washcloth across his chest, then around to his back until she lowered it just before reaching his butt. She then brought it back to the front and wiped up and down on his abdomen eliciting a few more chuckles from the mustached man. Tommy started in the middle of her stomach and branched out with larger strokes before starting on her back. He then paused,

“So how do you want to take care of below the waist?” 

“I think we should each do our own, I don’t trust you not to start fingering me and I don’t want soap in my pussy.” 

“You know me so well Sweet Pea.” He answered with a smirk and made sure to clean his cock and balls well and ended with his ass as Vel did the same. They rinsed off and Vel stepped out of the shower first to set a few towels on the floor to soak up the water she was dripping and to grab two towels, one for each of them. After drying off, Vel put on the same t-shirt and black capris she had on before, they had been fresh out of the drawer so she didn’t mind putting the back on. Tommy slipped on a pair of gray sweatpants and a white t-shirt from his drawer in Velora’s bedroom. Tommy headed to the kitchen to start some coffee and make some brunch. He found eggs, onions, peppers, cheese and toasted some bread with some apple butter. Velora was finishing up the bathroom when she smelled his cooking, her mother told her not to trust a man who can cook when she was younger, but Vel found it to be one of the many sexy qualities Tommy had, among others that she could put her hands on now.

She walked out to her small kitchen and got some plates and glasses down to get the table. It could fit four people comfortably though it was on the smaller side, with just the two of them, it was just the right size. Tommy dished up the food, he made three pieces of toast for each of them, after he set the frying pan in the sink and ran some water in it, they sat down to eat, in silence for the first few bites. 

“So…should we talk about things or…?”

“I mean we can. I guess we should start with whose house we’re gonna live in. Yours is on the smaller side Vel. makes sense since it’s just you living here, but…”

“No I mean, about before. We moved things pretty fast and you never told me about how your trip went with, well what you were going to do, though we weren’t really speaking at the time.” Velora moved a piece of her omelet around on her plate as she bit into her toast.

Sitting back in his chair, Tommy crossed his arms and sighed, “Do we really need to talk about it? I went, took care of my guys’ ashes and came back. Yeah I was gone longer, but I needed time to think. I couldn’t do that…”

“While you were here. While you may have to face me, is that it?” She asked, looking up from her plate. He rolled his eyes and scoffed.

“What about you? While I was gone, you’re out here setting up dates left and right. I know that was your one friend who doesn't think I’m shit who told you to do that and you did it! I had to hear it from Joel of all people. That was weird as shit.” he shook his head, recalling the conversation, it had been unnerving. 

Velora took a deep breath, “I told you about it when you came back and we finally talked before and we…I was honest about it. I didn’t need to hide, I came to fucking Joel’s house with all that damn pizza and listening to tess talking about meetings and travel! I didn’t want to go, seeing you…it, I was happy to know that you were okay, but I felt guilty and hurt Tommy.” Her eyes never parted from his, the intensity of them caused him to look away, but the veteran was drawn right back.

“I know. I was in shock when Sarah mentioned on the drive home that you were going to be there. I honestly didn’t think you would want to see me, given how I reacted when you said what you said after we made love. You can say it, you know Velora. We’ve made love twice now.” Tommy grinned, trying to lighten things up a bit, but to no avail.

“I know I told you that I needed time.” Velora paused to try and figure out her phrasing. Tommy titled his head, trying to anticipate what she may say, he hoped it wasn’t that they should see how things go. He was serious about moving their relationship forward. “I’d rather we talked about things and made some future plans. We skipped ahead on the babymaking front. I didn’t think I’d…well I knew I wanted to but…” Her cheeks were becoming hot once again, having a child with her best friend and crush Tommy Miller had been a fantasy. Now she may have actually done it without dating, marriage, deciding where they’re going to live, none of that. It made her giddy that he wanted to see her pregnant and have a child with her, but what would come with it? Was she prepared for that?

“Velora, well I won’t say relax because we’re needing to make some major decisions.” Tommy rose from his chair and stood behind Vel, placing one hand on each shoulder and kissed her temple. She took a few sips of water for her throat that was painfully dry now.  “One step at a time honey. It’s alright we don’t know right now. We just started this together. Plus we gotta move you into my house, this kitchen’s too damn small and I got room in my master bath to expand the shower.” Vel coughed on the water, setting an elbow on the table before cradling her forehead in it. 

“Lord above you really are trying to kill me Miller.” Their expressions of joy echoed through the small kitchen as they continued their meal and bikered about whose house should be sold, which mattress should be in the master bedroom and who has the better office.

Six months later…

Velora plops another rose near the mailbox. She already had brought three over from the back of Tommy’s truck. She had borrowed it to drive to the florist to pick up her order that she had placed last week. Set on adding more color to the front yard, she had added yellow tulips near the large front window that was off of the living room. Red was what she wanted on the corner around the mailbox. She took to gardening well, finding it was calming in addition to decorating her new home. She and Tommy had closed on her small home last month and were able to make a sizable profit from it. Due to the time constraints though, she sold much of her furniture except what was left to stage the house. Tommy, Joel and Sarah had helped moved her items into Tommy’s larger house. Velora had fussed about it, but she knew it was the right choice, moving into his house. It was her first house though, she remembered when Tommy had helped her move in.

Standing up from her leaning over position, she felt light-headed and had to lean on the mailbox, thankfully it was sturdy and she was quickly able to regain her balance. Her head swam for a minute but then calmed. It was happening more frequently and it worried her. Tommy had asked her to cut back on her hours at work, go to part time at the hospital. She was stubborn and refused, stating that it happened from time to time, she was fine, it would pass. It’s been two months of symptoms off and on again. What really worried her was her tender breasts and back pain. They didn’t seem connected and both had been happening since she hit puberty decades ago. She didn’t mention it to Tommy though, didn't want to worry him. Heading back inside the house, she called and made a doctor’s appointment, relenting that she may need to have things checked out, though whenever she had scans before they were always benign and she was advised to lose weight. “They’ll just tell me the same damn thing.”

Tommy was thriving, sure he had way too many pillows on his couch now, but he was able to convince Sweet Pea to keep some on the bed and in the guest bedrooms, at least break them up some. The little touches as far as plants, new colors of green, reds and yellows, nothing overbearing but more accents to his neutral home. In the pillows, but also in the towels, rugs, blankets for when they would watch movies on said couch and even a few shirts in his closet. He only wore those colors for her, no one else though. Tommy brought up the topic of marriage first saying that before a baby came, he wanted to have a ring on her finger and a certificate in his hand. Velora shook her head at him as usual and asked him how he planned to do that. She was washing dishes, wearing just one of her oversized t-shirts and panties. 

“Well, like this Sweet Pea. You thought you were gonna be stuck with me before. Now we’re going to make it official.”

“Miller, we moved in together three months ago, don’t you think it’s a little soon to-” His arms wrapped around her waist as he kissed her cheek.

“No it’s not. I told you we’d do one step at a time. This is the next step. We can make it big or small. Besides, I got this ring on sale.” He chuckled in her ear and reached in his back pocket, pulling out a small box. Vel dried her hands and turned around.

“Tommy I’m not taking some mood ring you got on…that’s a box. An actual box.”

“Yes. Wait, you thought I was gonna fake you out with a mood ring? What kind of man do you take me for?” Tommy exaggerated his fake outrage, crossing his hand over his chest and stumbling back. “You wound me…Vel how could you?” 

Velora shook head again, her face in her hands, not believing what she was seeing. The punk did get her a ring. She hadn’t asked for one, she honestly thought it would be next year before she got one, they hadn’t even made wedding plans yet. “You keep surprising me every day Tommy. I find you as annoying as much as I adore you.”

“I’ll take that as a yes honey. Put this on so I can see it on the pretty hand of yours.” He removed the gold ring from the box and slid it on her finger. He held her hand as he moved it around, it appeared to be a little loose. “I was sure I got the size right. Vel, did you lose some weight?” His eyes squinted at her hand, they didn’t look much different so he released her hand and grabbed her hips making her gasp.

“Tommy! I haven’t lost any weight. We just have to get it re-sized. I’m still going to wear it anyway until we do. It’s beautiful.” She admired it, a 6 mm band with 1 carat diamond in an oval setting. “Wait, how much was this?”

Tommy ignored the question, his hands were roaming her hips and love handles, she felt a little less, though she didn’t look it. He would know, the man felt her up daily, several times a day. “Sweet Pea, when’s your appointment? I’m going to come with you.” Vel kissed his cheek before placing her left hand on it.

“You don’t need to, I’m fine. They’re just going to tell me I need to rest or drink more water or lose weight like they always do. It’s why I usually just go for my physical yearly and not much else.” She explained. Tommy knew not to press her too hard on it, they were both stubborn so he would just worry instead. A distraction was in order they had gotten a new dining room table, Vel had called his old table “musty” for the mismatched driftwood it had been made of. The dark cherrywood suited the otherwise light room perfectly, drawing your attention to it. 

Tommy used his hands on his fiancé’s hips to guide her back toward the table, he reached and lifted her ass onto the table. “What’s gotten into you now? Don’t be picking me up like that. You’ll end up with a back like your brother.” He tugged on her panties pulling them down to her knees and then off. Squating, he used his forearms to part her thighs before nibbling her sensitive skin. 

“If I get a bad back from lifting you Sweet Pea, I’m gonna make sure it’s well earned. Let me taste my fiance. I wonder if now you’ll be more savory or honeyed.” He felt her put her legs over his shoulders and place her calves against his back, by now, she was aware of the position he wanted her in for his meals.

“How does that make any sense? Shit…don’t just use one love. I always need more.” Her hips bucked at the insertion of his finger, he was teasing her, leaning toward her mound and inhaling deeply, filling his lungs with her scent, intoxicating as he found it.

“My greedy girl. I aim to please ya always.” A second digit followed, pumping into her down to the knuckle, usually he worked his fingers in slower but her juices were dribbling onto the wood table, making it glisten. “May have to use your nectar to polish the table later, Sweet Pea.” Tommy ran his other hand up her shirt, pulling it to reach her cushy belly. He placed a kiss on it before placing his hand on the small of her back and scooting her hips forward to start to curl his fingers inside of her, a small spongy depression he discovered inside her months ago that had her babble in between obscenities. Peering upward, his head was hung forward toward her chest, hands firmly on the table, arms taunt, forcing her pelvis to meet his hand. “Almost there Vel, a little more…” His thumb plucked the small bundle of red flesh hidden at the top of her slit. A feral growl left his love as his fingers were taken from her, thighs pulled his upper body forward. 

“Tommy…Either put your fingers back in or use your mouth. You will not leave me like this on our dining room table. Didn’t you just say you ‘aim to please’?” His snickers echoes against her drenched mound, his breath, rolling over her sweltering skin.

“I do, but you know I like my pleasantries. I’m a Southern gentleman.” Velora couldn’t see his face, but she could picture his lips curving upward, forever teasing her. She guessed she knew what it was about, she was able to keep her balance with one hand as the other twirled in his soft onyx waves.

“A gentleman now huh? Who leaves a lady wanting? Not sure I want a gentleman then. I want the same man who told me he was starving and I had to make sure he had a warm meal.” Her voice raspy from her screams, cracking when she spoke. Tommy flicked his tongue on her clit, then blew on it.

“Not my exact words, but I’d hate to make such a beautiful woman wait.” He felt Vel release his hair as he plunged into her moist cunt, lapping at entrance, grunting with the roll of her hips toward his face. His mustache tickled her clit each time he pulled back to take a small gasp of air. Her body went rigid as her peak was reached and Tommy shot up to wrap his arms around her waist easing her down on the table. “Easy Sweet Pea, easy Velora…” He kissed her chin, her hands reached for his face and licked his lips, 

“I think I’m more savory than Sweet love. May need to change my nickname.” The veteran’s head dropped into her chest, matching her laughter. He now knew how sturdy the new table was. It could stay.

One week later…

Joel pulled up to the florist’s shop. He needed to send flowers for the condolences of one of their frequent customers who would use them for construction contracts. The man’s mother had died and the elder Miller brother in his effort to be more sociable, was following more social cues. He also was doing what his daughter had suggested and ‘ghosting’ Tess. He didn’t feel great about it, but Sarah had advised to ignore her calls and texts since they couldn’t agree to which direction their relationship should go. Joel wanted a partner, someone who he would be comfortable having in his life with his daughter. Tess got along with Sarah just fine, because they didn’t spend much time together outside of a few weeks or a month. His sometimes partner was just fine with that arrangement, thus their disagreement. The man was currently distracted though so he wouldn’t be answering any calls, he was placing his order with the same florist who V had been getting her flowers from. On the glowing recommendation, he ventured into the shop and was met with a woman who had a silver streak in her otherwise strawberry blonde hair. She gave him a warm smile, wiped her hands off on her apron before reaching out for a handshake, it was firm and she had callaouses as well from the different plants she had worked with, a small pink mark was on her neck. Joel wondered what it was from, he did eventually place his order, but they ended up comparing handshakes, whose accent was stronger, discussing children, trucks and work boots. A warmth that Joel hadn’t felt since his wife passed spread in his chest, her name Andy, she had told him like the sheriff from ‘The Andy Griffith Show.” The two laughed over the reference and that their children had no idea who the man was. 

Velora sat next to Tommy on the plane. He had asked her to set aside three particular weeks in September. Vel agreed as long as he didn’t have a flash mob or a minister to marry them at an airport. He defended himself by telling her she may be the one to take them to a drive through wedding chapel if she can find one, just to save some time and money. Her head found Tommy’s shoulder, nuzzling into the crook of his neck. She felt safe and terrified. She hadn’t had a chance to speak with him before leaving the country, well maybe she did, but she got cold feet, she was also nervous. It was happy news, but more than anything, she didn’t want to stop working. She knew Tommy would insist on her not working or at the very least, going on light duty, a compromise. Not a bad one if she was being honest. The flight was nearly thirteen hours, Tommy had done this by himself? There were points when they did move around and chat about what their actual wedding plans would be. Something small at the courthouse with immediate family and a reception at their house in the backyard, unsure of where they were going for their honeymoon, it was decided they could figure that one out later. Holding Tommy’s hand as the plane finally started its descent, Velora resolved to tell him one way or another. 

The emerald grass crunched under their boots as they walked gingerly in the forest behind the cabin they were staying in. It was cozy and Tommy smiled to himself that Vel was indeed holding onto his arm for any warmth she could gather. He surprised her with the destination of Ireland, but he wanted to show her it’s beauty that he had seen on a much more somber trip. His fiance had been the first person he thought to bring here besides his brother and niece. They were on their way back from the same rocky outcrop that he spread the ashes over some months ago. Velora held his hand as he teared at the memory, glad that she was here with him this time and for every journey the pair would take after. Velora stopped and Tommy did as well, wondering why she had stopped walking.

“We’re almost there Sweet Pea. We can warm up and drink hot chocolate. Might even go out and try some brennivin. One glass though, it will knock you on your ass, almost got me.” He was trying to lighten the mood after this visit to the site. Vel shook her head and it made him confused, she looked nervous.

“I-I have something to tell you. Honestly, I had to think about it and wrap my head around it, because normally it's never anything.” A strong gust blew through the trees whipping the leaves loudly to where the puzzled man saw her mouth move but didn’t hear. He made out, ‘we’re…’ What? All of her body language changed, like she was about to burst, whatever it was it was happy, so was it what he thought?

“Say again Vel, I can’t hear you.” He pointed to his ears but she lunged toward him and cupped his face, giving his lips a peck. The wind had started to calm but was tossing her ponytail in every direction. “Tell me what earned me that.” He grinned.

“We’re pregnant! You’re going to be a father Tommy!” Snot was starting to run down her nose and her eyes were squinted due to the air currents, a mess, but to Tommy it was the face of the mother of his child. The only face he needed to see until the baby was born. His outcry of joy was matched by the enthusiasm in which he picked up Velora and spun her around. She screamed for him to put her down, her laughter spurring him on, eventually he did and tugged her along to their cabin where they lit the fireplace. 

Tommy insisted that they shower and she spread out on the bed so he can put his head to her belly. She assured her fiance that it was too early for that but no was not an option. As her nails lightly scratched his scalp, Tommy rubbed his head on his other half’s stomach, knowing that a new life was growing inside of her.

“Thank you Velora. You’ve given me so much over the years. Now you’re giving me a little Miller and a future too. I love you Sweet Pea.” Closing his eyes, he listened to Velora breathe, her hand was still in his hair but she had fallen asleep. With a light huff, his fingers ran up her arm and traced her jaw, ending on her soft lips. “I’ll tell you again when you wake up, Velora. Rest up honey, we’ve a long road ahead together.”

Moots who might like it: @maggiemayhemnj @laurfilijames @rhoorl @fhatbhabie @angelofsmalldeath-codeine @trulybetty @goodwithcheese @ramblers-lets-get-ramblin @yorksgirl @guelyury @perotovar @saturn-rings-writes @megamindsecretlair @morallyinept @legendary-pink-dot @undercoverpena @beabliss @grogusmum @sp00kymulderr @magpiepillsjunior @for-a-longlongtime @pamasaur @linzels-blog @mysterious-moonstruck-musings

[ficnation]

“I'm not leaving you” - Shane x Reader

Prompt: "I'm not leaving you!"

Word count: 1545

Pairing: Shane Walsh x Gender Neutral! Reader

Warnings: pure angst, out of canon, usual twd themes (e.g. descriptive gore, use of weapons, violence, cursing), major character's death

A/n: This is a gif writing challenge from @crossbowking that I just found in the ask box on my other account. Damn, I wish I've found it sooner 😭

*gif credits go to @darlingshane *

☁ 𝐅𝐔𝐋𝐋 𝐌𝐀𝐒𝐓𝐄𝐑𝐋𝐈𝐒𝐓 ☁ || ☁ 𝐒𝐇𝐀𝐍𝐄 𝐖𝐀𝐋𝐒𝐇 𝐌𝐀𝐒𝐓𝐄𝐑𝐋𝐈𝐒𝐓 ☁

The summer heat was unbearable, and the evening breeze did nothing to cool down your skin. The wind was light and warm, blending with the hot temperature so naturally that you couldn’t really tell if it was real, or just your brain playing tricks on you. You were exhausted, dehydrated, and starving. You barely succeeded in forcing your legs to move; unlike Shane, you had no desire to push forward, to spend another four days running away from the herd that kept catching up to you no matter where you went or hid.

“Shane,” his name left your chapped lips in a raspy whine, showing just how much your throat was desperate for some water. A single droplet would be enough to get you through another few hours, but there was no guarantee that the walkers wouldn’t gain on you the minute you stopped pushing forward.

The man in front of you slowed down but didn’t stop walking. Before he decided to respond, his tired brown eyes darted behind you to the herd to check how far, or rather how close, the walkers were. When he was sure that they weren’t coming anywhere near the both of you, only then did he set his gaze on you.

“What’s wrong? We’re gettin’ ahead of ’em, might even try to get off the highway in a few hours. Maybe we’ll lose ’em once we get to the forest,” he rambled, stubbornly trying to ignore the pain that shot through his heart when he noticed your exhausted expression.

You looked exactly like one of the undead with your hair all tangled, skin paler than ever, eyes sunken, and dark circles piling beneath them. Your whole being screamed ‘exhaustion,’ and Shane was scared to hear what’s been haunting you. Did you decide to give up? Will you want him to leave you behind to get eaten by those monsters? He didn’t want to overthink it, but the way you looked at him made his eyes tear up in pure anger.

“Shane, I’m so tired,” you murmured under your breath. You stopped walking and leaned on the car wreck beside you. There was probably no gas in it, but even if there was, you wouldn’t be able to drive it because of all the other vehicles that blocked the road.

“Fuck,” he mumbled out when you scrunched your eyebrows in pain.

Every muscle in your body burned because of the sudden change in position. You didn’t have any strength left to walk, either.

Shane avoided meeting your gaze. His hands, stained with dried-up blood, tangled in his dark locks in a nervous habit.

“I think you should just go and—”

“Nah, nah. Listen to me, sweetheart.” Shane rushed to your side, cradling your face in his palms. “We’re gonna think of somethin’. I can always carry you.”

“Don’t be stupid.” You put your forehead against his with a sigh. “I’m slowing you down. The way I see it? Those walkers will eat us both alive if you keep dragging me with you. But you might have a chance to escape if I stay here.”

You kissed his nose when his eyes met yours in a silent match. You weren’t stupid enough to think that he’d leave you without putting up a fight. He was stubborn as fuck and loved you to pieces.

You tried to stand straight, pressing your palms against his chest. Your muscles were screaming for rest and sleep. The world around you seemed blurry and unfocused, but Shane held you steady in his strong arms.

“No, no, no, you’re not leavin’ me. Not you.” His voice rose to an angry tone, and he growled quietly when you opened your mouth to protest, silencing you quickly. He grabbed your wrists and forced you to meet his eyes.

“It’s my responsibility to protect you. No matter what happens, I can’t let you die, do ya understand?” he whispered, almost pleading, eyes shining with desperation. “Please don’t make this harder than it needs to be. I’ll find a way. I’m not leaving you!”

Your eyes glistened with tears threatening to fall. You swallowed hard before you spoke again. “Okay.” You nodded softly, fighting back the lump forming in your throat. Your hands rested gently on top of his and squeezed lightly.

He smiled sadly, kissing the top of your head. “Now come on,” he whispered, taking one last look at the creatures approaching you. “Let’s not let ’em catch up.”

You were too tired to argue any further. Shane carefully picked you up bridal style with a quiet groan and started walking again. Even though you were determined to fight back, you knew that Shane was right. You’d already run out of energy.

You wrapped your arm tightly around his neck to keep yourself from falling. Your eyelids felt heavy, but you didn’t dare to close them. Sleep deprivation meant that your brain would shut down sooner rather than later, leaving you vulnerable. You couldn’t let that happen. Not when you knew there was a possibility that you’d have to run.

You trembled from exhaustion and dehydration, and you were sure that Shane wasn’t doing much better than you. Every time you closed your eyes, it took every ounce of self-restraint for you not to fall asleep. You were losing the battle.

After walking for over an hour, Shane stumbled. You held onto him, hoping he wouldn’t drop you.

“Shane, please, let’s take a break for a little while. Just for a second, okay?” you asked after he stopped moving and stood still for a while.

A soft breeze brushed past your cheeks, and you shivered. It was starting to get cold, and the sky was already turning dark blue.

Shane was silent for several seconds, making you feel more anxious. But eventually, he gave you a quick nod and placed you carefully on the ground. He crouched next to you as soon as you were sat on the gravel. It was uncomfortable, but he didn’t care, kneeling in front of you. This was the best he could offer you at the moment, and he knew it.

His breathing was labored and uneven, and it sounded painful. He groaned quietly and pressed his forehead against yours. You felt your chest tighten at his action.

You sighed deeply as his breath fanned over your sweaty cheeks. You left a short, sweet kiss on his chapped lips before pulling away and letting your eyes wander from his face to your surroundings.

In the distance, you could see the trees. They were tall and thick, blocking the sun and casting shadows everywhere. It seemed like it was impossible to reach them.

The wind was getting stronger, and you were pretty sure that the air was full of flies and mosquitoes. The sound of the groans and shuffling behind you faded into the background. If you strained your ears, you could hear the faintest whisper of animals in the bushes, maybe rabbits or squirrels.

Shane reached for your hand and laced his fingers with yours. You looked at each other with loving but sad eyes. You could sense how weak you both were. How you were slowly losing control of yourself.

Shane could feel your pulse beating in your wrists and your heartbeat matching his own. Your heart was pounding fast as a drum, your lungs working overtime to keep you awake. Your vision was beginning to blur, and blackness slowly crept up on you.

“Stay awake, sweetheart,” Shane pleaded. “We’re gonna make it.”

His words only caused more tears to spill from your eyes.

All you wanted to do was close your eyes and slip away. You started to feel like you were suffocating. Your breaths came shorter and quicker, your lungs refusing to expand and fill up the empty space in them. You couldn’t breathe but you knew Shane could still make it without you.

You shook your head, refusing to meet his pleading gaze. A small gasp escaped your lips as Shane pulled you towards him, burying his face in your neck. You wrapped your arms around him and clung on desperately as you felt your consciousness fading. A sob tore its way out of your mouth, and you buried your head into his chest.

“I love you. Please, promise me you’ll survive this,” you begged quietly.

Shane’s grip tightened around your waist as he buried his face deeper into your skin. He couldn't force back the tears that started streaming down his face, sinking into your dirty shirt. “I promise.”

He sat with you for a few minutes until he couldn’t feel your pulse anymore and he had no more tears to cry before standing on shaky legs, feeling like Bambi. He took the rifle off his back, breathing deeply through clenched teeth. Pointing the gun at your beautiful face was the most difficult thing he had ever done. He took a deep breath, steadying himself, his finger trembling on the trigger.

His heart lurched in his chest, begging him to shoot, to protect you from becoming one of them. He needed to end this quickly so he could outrun the walkers and survive for you. Shane screamed as loud as his lungs let him before he slowly pulled the trigger, letting the shot echo around the abandoned highway. That was his last bullet.

@whiskeypowder @witheringblooddemon @humanmistakes @yttricuz @twdeadlysins @donttelltheelff @spidergirla5 @clemscult @tuttifuckinfruttifriday @whiskeypowder @witchygagirl

[just-some-random-blogger]

Less Dire Situations | 2

Part 1 2 3

Peter liked you the moment he met you after moving in with his Aunt May. Unfortunately, he never got the guts to talk to you. The idea disappeared after grade school and high school graduation, so you can imagine how surprised he was when you answered his ad for Advanced Calculus tutoring. It felt like he could actually get a shot with you… and then you jumped off the Manhattan Bridge.

Peter Parker x Reader | 5k+ | cw: fem!reader, DD:DNE, suicidal thoughts/ideation, suicide attempt, themes of depression, social withdrawing, emotional masking, canon divergence, angst, hurt, typos, etc.

A/N: this is originally posted on ao3

My breathing is shallow as I sit cross legged on the top of the pillar of the Manhattan Bridge. I'm terrified to move, not just because the wind was threatening to blow me into the road, potentially traumatizing a poor driver, but because Spiderman was sitting down next to me.

He hasn't said a word since he's caught me. There's nothing but silence and the stars between us.

I can't believe Spiderman saved me.

"I can't believe you jumped."

I whip my head to him. He's already looking at me.

My mouth opens, "I- I didn't mean to say that out loud."

The masked man stares at me for a moment then looks front. He curls his legs into his chest and wraps his arms around them, "I did."

I turn to my hands and begin to pick at my cuticles. My throat constricts, and my eyes grow foggy with tears. He only said two words but they sounded personal, they sounded... angry. I feel my lips quiver. I mean, I don't blame him. He's probably had to save so many idiots from jumping to their death. He's so over this.

I would be too, if I were him. As if fighting criminals wasn't enough, now he's got to look after the mentally ill? That's above my pay grade, and I'm sure he doesn't get paid.

I scratch my eyes when I feel hot tears stream down my face. I shudder as I hear the call of the abyss. I look out into the body of water, glimmering under the city light, beckoning me. I shakily mutter under my breath, "sorry, Spidey."

I feel him looking at me. I feel him look at me the exact manner I hoped to never get looked at. He was pitying me. He had his face covered and I wasn't even looking at him but, dammit, I knew he was pitying me. Worse, he was genuinely sorry for me.

I rub my philtrum and curl into myself. I flinch when I hear him sigh. I slowly turn to him when he moves 

He faces me, leaning on one leg, "I'm just shocked you'd want your last place on earth be Manhattan Bridge. Like honestly. Why would anyone want that? If you're gonna go through all that trouble, might as well pick a better bridge."

Spiderman cocks his head to the side, "like Brooklyn."

I look at him for a moment. I can't figure out if he's joking or if he was just from Brooklyn.

"Or something connecting to Staten Island."

I begrudgingly chuckle at his words. The sound I make actually surprises me.

I hear him mumble something under his breath as he looks away.

He brings his legs into his chest again, and so we're both just hugging ourselves.

I gasp when a couple of birds pass us. I cover my ears and watch as they fly away.

"You get used to it," he says as I watch a flock of birds disappear into the city.

I turn to my knees as he continues, "the world feels different up here. You're just one of the birds, looking down at this concrete jungle, just tryna avoid street signs and glass windows."

I wrinkle the fabric of my pants into my hands. A shiver runs down my spine as the wind begins to seep into my clothes.

I feel him scoot closer. "You want me to," he mutters, "bring you down?" He takes a moment before asking, "you want me to take you home?"

I rapidly shake my head, "I don't want to go back."

He sighs and rubs his nape, "sweetheart, I can't leave you here."

I sniffle and finally turn to him. He had both hands on his shoulders; he's massaging the area firmly as he looks around, clearly agitated. I wipe my nose on my sleeve, "you from Brooklyn or what?"

"What?" he turns to me.

My voice sounds like my nose is clogged, because it is, "I didn't think Spiderman was from Brooklyn, although, I think it kinda makes sense."

He chuckles out, "oh yeah?" He rests an arm on his knee, "how so?"

"You wear a Spider suit."

He sniggers, "and?"

"Only someone from Brooklyn would even think to pull that off."

Spiderman snorts. I chuckle under my breath as he throws his head back, "HA- you know what, I take that as a compliment."

"It is," I lean back to get a good look at him, "I used to have a such a crush on this one guy from Brooklyn."

"Really?"

"Yeah, he moved to Queens for a year but then moved back," I mutter.

"Ah, so you're from Queens."

"Yeah."

He nods and fidgets his feet, "what are you doing in Manhattan then?"

I shake my head and turn to my lap.

Spiderman feels the reluctance but he still asks, "what? No bridges over there?"

"Hmm," I brush my hair behind my ear. I release a shudder, "none quite like Manhattan Bridge."

He hums, "let me guess. You had your first kiss here."

"Nothing so obscene," I sigh and rub my arms. I cross my legs and hunch over. I shake my head, "this was the bridge I took into Manhattan, to my fucking dream school in my fucking dream city. It's all I ever wanted as a kid. It's all I prayed for, and I have it-"

My head begins to thump as I force-suck air through my clogged nose.

"I got a scholarship. I got a dorm. I do commissions to pay for what I need, but I hate it," my voice cracks as I begin to sob, "all my life I've had people shit on me for wanting to get an art degree. And now I'm thinking," I scratch my eyes, "yeah. Maybe they're right. The only way I'll have a stable living is if I work for some conglomerate and sell my soul."

I turn to Spiderman, finding his whole body was faced towards me. I sniffle, "I don't want to sell my soul, Peter."

A wind gushed between us.

"Fuck- sorry-" I wipe my face rough, "sorry. I- I have a friend named Peter. He's my only friend-" I break into a pathetic laugh, "but actually he's only my friend because I pay him."

Spiderman's gaze feels heavy on me.

"I don't know, I just- it's so exhausting to keep up with people from this fucking city. They're always doing something and I-" I shake my head, "I can't. I really can't. And I fucking can't lose my scholarship so I looked for a tutor, because fuck all as to why an Animation student needs to do Calculus-- and this kid named Peter Parker charges like 10 dollars an hour, which is really good and he's really good- and-

"-and it turns out the guy is actually from Queens too and, shocker, we went to the same grade school AND high school, but I had no idea who he was cause my overachiever ass had 100 clubs to focus on, and he remembers that horrible dance choreo I did with my friends-- who don't even speak to me anymore-"

At this point, I could feel that my eyes were so puffy and I could barely breathe from all the snot in my nose.

Still, I continued, "and eventually, I realized he was the kid people picked on, and then I wondered if any of my friends picked on him, and now I was asking him to help me, but he's just the sweetest guy ever. He's so just so smart, and patient, and funny, and kind, and sometimes I look at him and wish I could go back and stand up for him, or go back and I be his friend. But I liked how everything was for myself back then, so I didn't give a fuck and I didn't do a damned thing because I was a stupid kid- and- and-"

I take in deep, shaky breathes in the hope of calming myself.

"Hey, hey," Spiderman apprehensively places a hand on my shoulder, "I'm sure he doesn't hold it against you-"

"Well, he should," I snap, "neutrality is just as bad, or sometimes worse than being a bully. At least you can pick out a bully, at least you know they want to hurt you and you can get ready for a punch. But neutral people see that shit and decide it's not worth lifting a finger for. They pretend there's peace just because it's not their war. And they take that to their graves."

I feel a shiver ripple through my body. I shake my head rapidly, "I don't want to live like that. Peter never deserved that. And he deserves way better than being friends with a bystander."

"... are you still a bystander?"

"I- I don't know," I speak with a wobbly voice, " I haven't seen anyone get picked on, which probably means I am-"

"Now, hold on. Looking for fights where there aren't ones isn't the right way to go about the world."

I chuckle dryly, "but the world is just always one move away from a fight. There's nothing but unrest and uncertainty."

Spiderman links his hands together, "thats definitely one way to look at things."

"Please don't fucking glass half full me right now."

"I won't," he shakes his head, "trust me, I'm not qualified for it. And I'm a glass half empty kind of guy actually."

I wipe my face.

"Don't you think Peter should decide what he deserves though?"

I don't respond.

"The thing about accepting the glass is half empty is knowing there's space to add more to it," he moves in front of me, "maybe he was also excited to see someone familiar. Victims of abusers tend to stay because they think it's all there is--not that I'm calling you an abuser- but you- with the half empty analogy-"

"I get it," I raise a hand, "sometimes we're willing to overlook the bad for a little good... which is really fucked up."

"And you know," he points a finger, "if this Peter guy is as smart as you make him out to be, realistically speaking, I doubt he'd hang out with you if you made him want to jump off the Manhattan Bridge."

I chuckle. I actually chuckle. I wipe my nose, "you've got a sick sense of humor, Spiderman."

"Hey," he raises his hands, "you laughed."

I chuckle again then release a breath, "I can only hope so... I hope I'm someone in his orbit."

Spiderman doesn't respond.

"He's one of the few people in the world that's actually gonna do great things. He's so good at what he does. You know he's taking Advanced Calculus just because he can, and he's so good at it he teaches Math majors? He's a Bio-Chemistry major!  And he's passionate about it... I wish I had that."

"Aren't you passionate about your drawings?"

I give a dry laugh, "I hate what I do. I feel like I've fallen out of love." I chortle, "but I can't quit it because it's all there is for me."

I shiver again. I rapidly rub my arms.

"You don't have to cross this bridge," he says, placing a hand on my knee, "people built other bridges because there are other ways to reach a destination."

I shake my head and laugh with no amusement. I whisper, "I just want to jump."

I watch him as he stands, his suit somehow appears like it's absorbing and deflecting the light from the city. "Okay," he tilts his head down, "then jump."

I, admittedly, am taken aback by his words.

I wait for him to do something, to say something, because there was no way he was actually taunting me to jump right now.

A pit in my stomach pressures me to stand and throw myself off to prove a point. I shakily push myself up, and that's when he reaches out to me.

"Or jump with me."

I look at his extended hand.

He stares at me for a long while then says, "we can keep jumping off Manhattan Bridge until you don't want to."

My cheeks begin to burn because of my hot tears.

"You have to take my hand though," he whispers, "if you chose to stop bullying yourself, you can't be a bystander either. You said it yourself."

I let out an ugly cry.

"Do for yourself what you couldn't for someone else."

My cold, trembling hand lands onto his gloved one. It seems he is equally as cold as I am, but then warmth cascades through my entire body when he clutches my hand in both if his.

I see my vague silhouette on the lenses of his mask. I must look atrocious.

He presses his lips onto my fingers then slowly let's me go. He steps back and looks out to the river, "jump."

What?

"It's okay."

I look at him with worry.

"Trust me," he places his hands on his chest, "I will catch you, no matter what."

The sentiment makes me want to puke. I feel deeply disturbed. I feel like I'm being made a spectacle of. Was vulnerability always so performative?

"I-" don't want to, I almost say. But I can't... I can't now, not when I'd already told the hero of New York more than I've ever told anyone in my life. Not when someone who I had been waiting on to come save the city came to save me. 

My lips quiver at the realization.

He came to save me.

I turn away from him and close my eyes. I take one deep breath.

I leave my life into his hands as I step off the platform.

I descend. Faster, and faster, and faster and-

And faster I went-

I open my eyes and find the waves below me inching nearer. With my arms up and the wind ripping at me, I begin to scream in panic. The fear in my body makes me go rigid. I realize that I could get saved and still die in the process.

It dawns on me that--

With a grunt, I collide into a body and I'm being swung upward.

I grunt at the force of the impact. I shriek and cling onto Spiderman twice as tight as he he did on me.

I whimper.

He nuzzles against me, "I got you. I got you, sweetheart. I got you."

It feels surreal when my feet touch the ground. I feel like I'm in the clouds and my legs aren't meant to touch the floor.

I shudder against his embrace. Spiderman had been holding me ever since he brought us down and, honestly, I didn't feel at all like letting go.

I breathe against his trapezius, his scent was so inviting, so... safe. I was slightly up on my tiptoes to keep my arms around his shoulders. He had a bend to his posture to keep level with me. I knew I could not keep him like this forever because of this.

Against my will, I slowly break away and look at the man before me.

The streetlight by the river shoreline made his red suit look maroon. Spiderman parts from me just as slow, as if equally unwilling to separate.

My heart pounds when he rest his head against mine.

"Are we about to kiss right now?" I whisper.

He chuckles, slightly pulling back, "it wouldn't be right to take advantage of you in your state."

"Thrilling to know Spiderman would kiss me."

"Says the girl who's flirting with me right now," he tilts his head.

"I wasn't flirting. I was asking. It was to lighten the mood."

He says nothing for a moment, "I don't think anything can lighten suicide."

The mood dies. Coldness creeps up my spine.

Spiderman rubs my back and nods, "you doing okay?"

I chuckle dryly, breaking away all together. I turn to my feet. What a question. I fidget in my spot, my tongue itching to say I've not been okay for a long time, but instead I look back at him and smile, "I'm okay."

I continue to put distance between us. I wrap my arms around myself, expecting him to allow me space. My stomach drops when he steps closer.

His mask is expressionless but he sounds disappointed, "I don't enable crooks, sweetheart."

I flinch when he swipes my cheeks with his thumb.

"Quit cheating yourself."

I step back and cover my face; heat spirals over me when my hands find evidence of tears I've involuntarily cried.

I bury my face in my hands and turn away from him. I roughly wipe my tears; a wave of pathetic shame overcomes me.

I inch away from him. Each step was meant to encourage myself into composition but it does the opposite. I feel like a storm cloud-- heavy, dark, and pouring down. I'm crushed by my own weight.

Unable to control my sob, I break down and curl into a ball, squatting on the floor, hugging my knees.

I feel him come down to my side.

I whine against my elbow, "I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I just-"

"Don't apologize. There's nothing to be sorry about," he sits down, "let it out."

I lift my head and look over my shoulder. Spiderman stares at me. My pathetic likeness is reflected on his lenses. I look away and wipe my nose, "I just- I don't- it's a lot. It's all too much- I..."

"Hey," he raises a hand, "you don't have to explain right now. Just let it out. I'm here."

I laugh. I'm here.

I pull on my sleeve and wipe my tears.

"What's funny?"

I look at Spiderman and shake my head. I chuckle again and repeat his words, "I'm here."

He is silent for a moment. He pulls his head back and sounds offended, "well, I am."

"I know," I say through blocked sinuses. I sniffle and wipe my nose, "I know."

He looks at me a few seconds then nods, "we can stay here as long as you like."

I sniffle, "what about... don't you have other people to save?"

"I'm saving you."

A pit of guilt grows in my stomach, "yeah, but what about people in burning buildings?"

"What about your burning building? It seems like it's been burning a while now."

I say nothing. I turn to my feet.

"And anyway, you can only walk towards one thing at a time, if not, you'd be walking aimlessly," he shuffles on his spot.

I can't see his face but I can feel him looking at me.

"Does that make sense?"

I nod, looking at the dirt beneath my feet.

He huffs, "I try not to think about the people I could have saved when I wasn't doing anything of," he does air quotes, "significant importance."

I look up at him as he stands. He stretches his arms with a grunt, "believe it or not, I'm just another New Yorker trying to get by when I'm out of this suit. I'm not a millionaire or a genius."

I watch him as he stretches his legs, "I believe you."

He freezes, "woah, woah, woah," he points a finger, "I don't like your tone."

"What tone?"

"What, like, Amazing Spider-Man isn't so amazing as a man," he straightens up and places a hand on his chest, "I'll have you know I am very much slightly above average as a man."

I give a clogged-nose laugh, "your girlfriends must love that."

"Oh," he places his hands on his hips and stretches from side to side, "they do."

I laugh, hard enough that snot threatens to spill from my nose. I wipe my philtrum and push myself up to a stand.

Spiderman stops stretching.

We stare at each other for a prolonged second.

"Can I take you home now?"

I rub my hands together, "will you be swinging me back?"

He chuckles softly, "I mean, if you want. I was thinking a walk would be good for you though."

My brows quirk, "you want to walk me? But you're in your suit."

"So?" he shrugs and crosses his arms, "wouldn't be the first time someone in a spiderman suit walked around New York."

I smile softly. He was right.

I nod and wipe my face in my hands, "okay."

He perks, "okay?"

I nod faster and chuckle, "yeah. It's quite a walk from here to my dorm though," I throw a thumb over my shoulder.

"Don't worry. My cardio's up to snuff," he shrugs and tilts his head, "my girlfriends love that too."

We walk down the streets in silence. For some reason, it was not a heavy or awkward silence. I felt like I could just keep to myself and it would be okay.

The problem with keeping to myself is that the silence feeds my thoughts which then eat at me.

The quiet street seemed loud now, everything felt like it was out to get me.

"Hey," I call out softly. For a split second I regret speaking out and I pray he didn't hear.

Spiderman did hear though. He whips towards me, "yes."

I barely manage to keep my eyes on him as I explain, "this is an odd request- but- do you mind holding my hand as we walk? It's just that, I don't know... I'm feeling overwhelmed."

He reaches out a hand to me.

I stare at his hand, finding it daunting to take it, "actually... can I just hold your arm?"

He offers his arm.

I take it.

We continue to walk.

"Yoo," a random passerby says, "hows it going spiderboy?!"

"Good, good," Spiderman says, waving at him.

We eventually reach my building.

I slowly pull away from him just before we reach the façade.

"This is me," I mutter, hands sliding down his arms.

Spiderman looks up at the building and turns back to me, "fancy."

I shake my head and smile, "it's a dorm. I'm a scholar, remember?"

He holds my hand just before I can pull away, "I remember everything you say, baby."

I am rigid when he lets go. The way in which he said that was so intimate, so earnest.

My chest tightens and I barely manage to whisper out, "please don't speak to me like that."

He stands still, "...what?"

My throat tightens.

"Earnestly?" he mutters.

Was he a mind reader? "Yeah," I speak with a broken voice. I watch passing cars, "you'll make be think you're in love with me."

"Is that such a bad thing?"

"Yes," I snap, turning back at him, "you don't know me."

He is perfectly still, save for his hands that slowly raise in defeat, "I don't."

I sigh deeply.

"Which is why I'm honored to know you like this."

I chuckle dryly, "fucking hell."

I turn away from him and walk towards my building entry way. Half expecting him to follow after me, I am surprised to see he didn't.

"1 pm."

"What?"

"One o'clock tomorrow," he motions with a finger, "I'll meet you on your rooftop."

"What?"

"I've got stuff to do in the morning, but I'm free after 1. Meet me there then."

I step forward, "now, wait a sec-"

"Remember. One," he says, right before slinging away.

"Holy shit," Arnel, the dorm's night guard, says, "did that fucker just teleport?"

I turn around. The dark skinned man walks to my side and examines the scene. I shake my head, "no. It was web... things. That was spiderman."

"Damn, kid," he turns to me, "you're friends with the Spoods?'

I do not reply.

"Speaking of friends, Peter was begging to get in. He said it was important because you weren't answering your calls. I told him policy is policy," he explains, "that being said. He looked so frantic, I was about to let him in, but he bolted down the block."

My lips part.

"You good, kid?"

My heart pounds. I can't lie to Arnel. He's got a bullshit detector the size of the Empire State. I shake my head, "I got into an accident... I'm better now."

Still a lie, but Arnel doesn't note it if he catches on. The man presses his plump lips into a thin line, "alright, well go get some rest. You look like you need it."

I him watch me as I go inside.

When I get into my apartment, I feel bile rise up my throat. The sight of my place repelled me. I head straight to my bedroom, insides curdling when I see the boxes of stuff I had already packed. I turn to the middle of my bed where my phone and suicide letter was, the former lit up with a buzz.

I grab my phone and see Peter's ID.

Guilt eats away at me, yet it's not enough for me to answer.

When the call ends, I see the notification that it's been the 30th attempt.

I see 61 texts.

My eyes water.

I flinch when he rings me again.

With a gulp, I answer, "hello?"

"..."

"..."

"..."

"... Peter? Can you-"

"Oh my fucking go- do you have absolutely any idea how fucking scared I've been! Where have you been? Why haven't you been answering your phone? I tried to go to your dorm! They wouldn't let me in."

His nagging is as comforting as it is grating, "calm down, dad. I left my phone at my dorm."

"You called me then left your phone at your dorm?! Wow. That's some next level evil right there."

I sigh and crawl on my bed. I pull my shoes off and lie down. Tears drip the sides of my face. I take a deep breath before replying, "it wasn't on purpose."

"... well, damn, it feels like it is."

I stare at the glow in the dark stars on my ceiling, a sight I never anticipated seeing again. It clenched at my heart.

"Did you call to give me that Tawagoshi?"

My throat tightens.

"You love this 8-bit dog."

I do.

"What gives? I've got so many questions," he speaks my name, making electricity pulse through me.

"I bet you do," I mumble, mostly to myself.

Peter voice falls soft, "what's going on?"

My breathing is strangled. I do my best to keep it even as I respond, "I'm shedding some skin. I thought to try out calling, but damn--" I chuckle bitterly, "--this really could have been a text."

"Not this time," he blurts from the other line, "I'm coming over."

"NO!" I yelp, sitting up, "please. I'm exhausted-"

"And you still haven't told me why-"

"Tomorrow," I blurt.

"..."

I sigh, "I'll tell you tomorrow."

"..."

"I promise. I'll ease all your worries, dad."

"I don't want to be eased," he says firmly, "I want to be told the truth "

I shake my head and stare at my screen. The name Peter Parker stares back at me.

I am snapped into reality when he calls my name again.

"I'm still here," I respond.

"Breakfast at 5th?"

"... ok, Peter."

"Alright. Get some sleep."

"I will, dad. Love you."

"I-"

I end the call.

I wake up with a headache and stomach ache. Fitting, if you asked me.

I could barely open my eyes because of how crusty it was, the salt from my dried tears bunched up my lashes.

The air was cold. The sun wasn't shining yet. There was a distant siren whirring from afar. It couldn't have been any later than 5 am.

I look at the ceiling, as much as my crusted lids would let me, and gaze upon the faint neon glow of the stars on the surface. I think about how happy I was when I put them on during the first few days I moved in here.

I miss her. 

I miss who I was then.

The siren sound gets closer. I prop myself up on my elbows.

I grab my phone. I see the the notifications I had for Spiderman. 

Spiderman saves Manhattan Bridge jumper. Watch: Footage Of Spider-Man Saving Jumper On Manhattan Bridge Spider-Man Catches Manhattan Bridge Free-Faller

I press on one of the links. I curl my legs over each other as I scroll down the article. I do a double take when I catch the massive Help Hotline badge just below the headline. I stare at it for a second, then scroll down to the video footage.

The video is loud with street noise. The  perspective is from a boat. It starts out with a 360 view of the scenery, then ends with a woman saying some things about Manhattan Bridge. Someone screams. The camera is shaken. It's far, but clear enough to see a figure descending from the bridge. There is panic within the boat. People scream in horror.

'Spiderman!' yells someone. The one recording fails to catch him when he'd just arrived but caught the moment he caught the body-- my body... me.

Goosebumps form on my shoulder when they cheer and thank God for him saving me. They laugh and hug themselves. The video ends.

My eyelids are no longer crusty. They are wet again, eyelashes beaded with tears.

I flinch when the sound of something heavy is placed on front of me. I snap out of my trance when Julia smiles at me, "pancakes and sausages."

I perk and watch as she places Peter's order in front of him, "bacon, eggs, and a muffin."

"Thank you," Peter smiles at her, moving his plate back to make room for the coffee Julia places in the middle of our orders.

"Enjoy, loves," she chirps, "give me a call if you need anything else, alrighty?"

Peter smiles again, "thank you, Julia."

Julia smiles back. I manage to return it when she looks back at me.

I stare at my food as she walks away. I look up and see Peter looking at me, rather seriously at that.

I smile and grab a fork and knife. I cut my food and take a bite, even though I wasn't hungry, "anyway, as you can see, I'm still in one piece. You don't have to worry about me. I'm just going through a burn out phase. You understand."

"No, I don't actually," Peter grabs a fork and stabs his muffin. He takes a bite, eyeing me as he set the muffin down, "this feels too scary to me. You can't just do such drastic things in one night and expect me not to be concerned."

"So, I gave away a few things and tried out calling," I chuckle as I pour syrup on my pancake, "it's not like I reinvented breathing."

Peter stares at me as I stuff my mouth with food. I chew and smile at him, even though it hurt to see him so distraught and disturbed.

I put my silverware down when he calls my name.

"You know about the jumper on Manhattan Bridge?"

I turn to my plate and shake my head, "I have a push notification for the Spoods, so duh."

"..."

I slowly look up at Peter. He rests his head on his hand.

"Morbid news to wake up to," he mutters, almost in a whisper.

"The dystopian reality is, it's just another day in New York city," I take a bite of my pancake, "another day in this dying world."

My stomach drops when he says my name.

I grab a glass of water, "mmm?"

"I saw it last night. I was terrified. I started to imagine what it would be like if it was someone I knew..."

I grip my glass tight. My face tightens and twitches neurotically. I release the glass with a thud and shake my head, "don't imagine things like that."

"I know, but it kept going. And I was so concerned about you--"

My spine tingles.

"--you weren't answering your texts," his voice is low, "I thoug-"

"Hey, I'm right here."

Peter stills.

I take his hand and clutch it, "don't worry about something in your imagination."

His face is hard and unreadable. He takes my hand and squeezes, "you know Ms. V? I talked to her yesterday."

My brows furrow.

"She said you weren't passing your requirements. She's concerned about you."

I pull my hand away.

He catches it, "I'm concerned about you."

Peter gently tugs my hand towards him and rubs my skin. My arm breaks into goosebumps. I rip my hand away.

A thick silence envelopes us. He watches me intently. He speaks my name slowly.

"It's burn out," I blurt and force myself to smile. It's a small one, a painful one, but it does the job of distracting me from crying, "Ms. Vasquez knows I could do better, and I can... but I can't."

I play with my food.

I look up and find Peter's unreadable expression. I smile, "it happens. It'll come back to me."

He says nothing.

"Of course," I sigh, "you wouldn't know that, Mr. I-Got-Everything-Figured-Out."

He doesn't budge when I give him a teasing look.a

"I mean, leave a few braincells for the rest of us," I cut my pancake. I stare at him for a moment then shrug, "I'm just relieved you're ugly."

Peter snorts. Begrudgingly.

I snort with him and watch how he relaxes. He leans back on his chair and shakes his head.

"We're having a serious conversation," he motions between us.

"Oh, I know Mr. Parker," I chew my pancake, "you are seriously ugly."

Peter shakes his head again and takes a bite of his muffin.

I am relieved that he is sated.

I turn back to my food.

Peter pulls out his Spiderman mask and opens his mouth. He stares for a moment. He tucks it back in his pocket and shift in his seat.

I look back at him.

He looks back at me.

I take some of his eggs.

Peter pretends to be annoyed, "you should have gotten your own."

I shrug, "snooze you lose."

[scarlet-shakedown]

Midnight Suns - Chapter 1

Summary: Johnny Blaze goes back to his hometown following his father’s death.

TW: Language & Dark Themes

I was falling asleep on my changing room couch, slumped over with half drunk bottle of whisky in my left hand. I knew I’d been drinking too much again. The door to the room flew open and crashed against the wall.

“Jesus, can you stop slamming shit?” I mumbled, squinting at my manager standing angrily in the doorway.

“Johnny, I’m a kind person. I can forget, I can forgive, but I’m reaching my limit. You have a sold out arena worth of fans waiting out there for you, when you should’ve been out there 10 minutes. The rest of your band has been stalling for you. Come on, let’s go.”

“Yeah yeah, in a minute.” I took another sip from the bottle and shooed him away.

He smacked his lips and nodded his head ominously, before walking over and grabbing me by the ear. “Go!” He screamed.

“Yep! Hear you all the way!” I got up quickly and grabbed my guitar from the corner of the room. I went straight to the stage, and the crowd was roaring. It wasn’t the best feeling for the headache that spun around my head, but I’d never get mad at the sound of adoring fans.

I waltzed past my irritated looking band mates, up to the mic, and grabbed it. “How ya’ll doin’?!” I chanted, getting equal energy back. “Now before I start, I got a bit of sad news.” My band mates looked at each other confused. “This is gonna be my last show uhh… ever. But I cherish the moments I’ve spent with you all and-“ My pal David grabbed the mic from me and cut me off, “He’s just kiddin’, ya’ll.” He put the microphone back in the stand and whispered to me, “Just play the fucking show, we’ll talk about this later.”

I smirked and did just that. I played one hell of show for my last. I mean it. If you were there it would’ve melted your fuckin’ face off.

I could feel the tension from the rest of my bandmates right when we got backstage.

“Johnny, you need to stop drinking as much, especially before shows. It’s become a real fuckin’ problem.” David said with a stare that basically pierced into my soul. My other bandmates quickly agreed.

Before I said some stupid shit without thinking, I paused for a moment then sighed. “Yeah.. you’re right. I got a lot issues. I’m working ‘em out and I realize that getting wasted all the time isn’t helping.”

They all seemed relieved with that sentiment, and started shuffling around like the talk was over. I took a deep breath and finished what I was saying, “With that being said-“ A pause came over the room. “I am retiring. A few days ago I got a call that my pop finally kicked the bucket. He left me the house I grew up in, and I was gonna stay there for a while.. kinda take some time to decompress.”

My manager quickly responded, “Jesus, Johnny. That’s terrible. Why didn’t you tell us?”

I gazed around the room at the concerned people waiting for my answer. I looked back and chuckled a bit, “Well to be honest, he was a deadbeat and all around piece of shit.. but you know, he was my dad. And after a lot of cursing him out in my head and wishing ill upon him, I realize it was never what I wanted.. so yeah. I’m gonna go back.”

After a few minutes of them wishing me well and giving their condolences, David pulled me aside teary eyed and asked, “You gonna come back eventually? We’re gonna miss you, man.”

I sighed and patted him on the shoulder, “Maybe.” I smiled. “Love ya, Dave.”

I did it, I managed to say goodbye. I went out to the parking lot and got on my bike. I was off to my hometown, to my first house, and to memories I’d long forgotten.

Rolling down an empty highway, I saw red and blue lights flash behind me. “Motherfucker.” I muttered under my while pulling over to the side of the road. The car pulled over behind me. When the cop got out I immediately recognized him. Sheriff Jerkman. That’s what I called him when I was a kid at least. He got my older brother and I in trouble all the time, and had the audacity to say he was “keeping us in line”.

He walked up to my side while barking, “Do you know how fast you were g- no fucking way.” He shined his flashlight directly in my face. “Is that Johnny Blaze? What the hell is a superstar like you doing back in a shithole town like this?” He snickered with a fat grin on his face.

“Sheriff Jermaine.. what a pleasure.” I growled. “I’m back because of my father.”

He inquired quickly, “What about him?”

I stared at him confused for a moment, before responding, “He.. died at few days ago.”

“A few days ago..” He glared at me skeptically. “I’m sorry for your loss. You’re uh, good to go.”

I grumbled at him, “Great. Thanks.”

He called out as I started my ignition, “Drive slower in my town, boy!”

I gave him a half-assed wave and drove off.

After a couple minutes, I pulled up into the driveway. The house looked put together, the yard was trimmed, and it looked all round less dumpy than I remembered. The front porch light was on, and it seemed set up for me. I got to the front door and unlocked it with the key I was given. It seemed smaller than I remembered, though I was a short, skinny teen the last time I was here. The first thing that interested me was my brother’s room. He’d died in a car accident when I was young teenager, and I hadn’t been in his room since. So even with the whole house feeling unfamiliar, his room was even stranger to me. I opened the door and was greeted with band posters on the walls, the bed made neatly, and his record player with his collection tucked underneath. I spent a few minutes looking around, being careful to not mess anything up, even though he couldn’t yell at me for it anymore. I opened his closet and saw his jackets and shirts hung up. I came across a jacket that stood out to me. A black leather one that he’d embroidered the word “BLAZE” onto the back of. I remember thinking it was the coolest thing ever as a kid. He told me he’d give it to me when I could fit into it, but even taking it off the hook felt like I was disturbing too much. I closed the closet door and decided to settle in for the night.

After a few minutes of peace, the house phone hung on the wall began to ring.

“That old coffin still works?” I thought while getting up to answer it. “Hello?”

“Johnny, my boy! You get in the house alright?” The voice on the line asked excitedly.

“Uhh hey. Yeah, I got in just fine. I don’t think we’ve met? Can I ask who this is?” I inquired to the man on the other side of the call.

“Yeah yeah, my bad. I helped your pop write his will!” He hollered. “Yeah, he left you everything! Every nook and cranny is yours. Even that ugly jacket you were eyeballing in your brother’s closet.”

A silence fell over the conversation before I broke it, “Who are you?” I snapped.

“You know who I am, Johnny. Let’s meet in person. I’ll be waiting.”

“No! You’re going to tell you are right now or I’ll-“ The phone crackled and buzzed and the call cut out. I looked down at it and the plastic was melting from the handle, and it was sparking. I dropped it instinctively, thinking it was going to burn my hand, but it didn’t hurt. I looked at the palms of my hands, which were a smoldering red color. That reddish shade quickly rose up my arms, itching deeply as it traveled up. I sped over to the bathroom turning the light on. I ran the cold water on my hands and steam rose as it touched me. The itching I felt started hurting more and more. I just stared shocked at my body as my skin was chipping away from the inside. I opened my and tried to scream in pain, but I just laughed. Not just laughing, cackling uncontrollably, as my skin melted away fully. I looked forward into the mirror, only to see a flaming, skeletal monster stare back at me.

[tessiete]

Wild Guesses and Untamed Theories about Good Omens Season 3.

Please feel free to disagree vehemently in the reblogs. Love that for us.

THEMES:

Since season one was about self-determination, and season two was about love, I'm guessing that season three is about death. Clues: 1. The Crow Road - Muriel is seen "reading" this book at the end. It's also the other novel that we see Jim alphabetise. It's about a young man whose grandmother dies, and he goes back to Scotland to wrestle with mortality, faith, and his relationship with his father. The "crow road" itself is a euphemism for death. Someone who's gone up crow road is dead.

2. The Final Nia Truc - Crowley's license plate being a reference to Terry Gilliam and his work on Monty Python. The skit it's referencing can be seen here (though you really should just watch The Meaning of Life. The Galaxy Song is maybe the best song written, and in fact I'm actually linking that and not the final curtain reference, so... (tw: suicidal leaves)

3. The Third Season is "Final" - Neil said so himself. In a three word Clue. I can't find it, so you're just gonna have to trust me. Anyway, what's more final than death? Or what isn't? You know?

4. Death as A Person - They were introduced as a physicalised character in the first season, and in the book it's noted that Death cannot be overcome. But Death CAN be delayed.

5. Book of Life - Revelations. Second Coming. Final Judgement. Jesus checking the Book of Life for the righteous. The resurrection of the dead. The end of all life on Earth. Etc., etc. The Bible is really preoccupied with this stuff, so I hear.

ARCS:

Aziraphale - He's a mess. I think we can all, well, not safely or with any certainty but at least with some...conviction? Some confidence? We can reasonably guess that Aziraphale's going to be dealing with a more complete disillusionment and emancipation from Heaven.

What does this mean in practical terms?

Probably a lot of conflict with the Metatron. Maybe Aziraphale realising he's being maneuvered as a puppet without any real authority. Potentially a coup by the other archangels? Possibly blackmail with Crowley's safety? Conceivably The Book of Life as a threat to his existence? To Crowley's? To Earth's? Sure. Why not?

Crowley - Okay, this is the neat one because Crowley had the most dramatic arc of the two of them in the second season. His was the open discovery of his love for Aziraphale, explicitly stated desire to be together, and the final (?) emancipation from Hell. Wanting to be a Us with a capital U.

So where is it left for him to go?

Forgiveness.

He's gonna have to learn to get comfy with forgiveness. With receiving it. With accepting it. With offering it.

Because he's going to have to give it to Aziraphale.

CONCLUSION:

I know, I know - no one agrees with me on this, but I'm gonna say it anyway and you can all yell in the notes.

I think this series ends with Crowley and Aziraphale becoming human. Choosing One Life to live together as humans. To have EVERYTHING, ALL AT ONCE, in one go. Together.

Because, because -- think of it:

Humanity vs. The Divine The book talks frequently about the difference between humans and angels/demons. Most clearly, here:

"The real grace and the real heart-stopping evil, was right inside the human mind."

This, to me, suggests that the things which Aziraphale and Crowley are ciphers for can only truly be realised by humans.

The book also goes on to reinforce to us how close the two of them already are.

They're said to have "gone native."

Crowley is said to have something other demons don't have: imagination.

Aziraphale is a straight up hedonist.

They live here. They work here.

And like with Dog, "form shapes nature."

And when it comes to "sides," Crowley notes in Season 1 that the final battle will really be between Heaven/Hell and Humanity. That's their side.

2. On the Nature of Free Will

Much is made about the nature of free will, especially in season one which is basically all about that. Anathema with her prophecies, Adam with his destiny, and, of course, Aziraphale and Crowley with their respective natures.

All of those arcs end with the heroes overcoming the bonds of restraint and determining their own future. In short, exercising their own free will.

While Aziraphale and Crowley don't necessarily recognise this, it is nonetheless true. And even though we're told it's impossible, we see that this isn't entirely true.

We see it in how Crowley drinks, and Aziraphale eats. Aziraphale especially engaging in all sorts of sinful activities without any celestial direction but purely because he likes it. He chooses it. And despite it going against the tenets of Heaven, he is able to do it.

Crowley wills the Bentley to survive the flames. Crowley chooses to conspire with Aziraphale time and again, not just to thwart the Great Plan but so that they can have oysters, or so that he doesn't have to ride a horse.

We constantly see them choosing.

And while, yes, in the scope of season 1 we could argue that "Ah, but - BUT! That is the Ineffable Plan. It wasn't chosen, it was always meant to be that way," this kind of falls apart in the scope of season 2 which is all about people resisting the expectations and pressures of other divine plans.

Gabriel nahs the war.

Maggie and Nina not only can't be miracled into love (so says Aziraphale), but also refuse to be manipulated into it either by miracle or meddling.

Muriel likes Aziraphale. Muriel "reads". Muriel helps Crowley.

So. Free Will.

Something that it seems everyone -- angels and demons included -- already has.

Additionally, Aziraphale's temptation back to Heaven is not based in ambition (he suggests Michael), but in self-determination (follow me, I swear it makes sense).

Okay, so the thing that sells him is the RESTORATION of Crowley to a divine state. Because he thinks that Crowley's Fall is fundamentally a mistake. That their inability to be together is because they are fundamentally opposed. Logically this makes sense, so why doesn't he feel convinced of it?

"Deep down you're a good person"

"That was a very kind thing you did"

All that stuff. He's constantly trying to assert Crowley's goodness as proof that he's not truly the demon he is. To Aziraphale, Crowley's status as a demon is a mistake that infringes upon his ability to determine his own path because when left to it, Crowley often chooses good.

While Crowley feels like his Fall is the act which bought him freedom from the shackles of Heaven. His Fall gave him self-determination.

Aziraphale sees it as something to be fixed. Crowley sees it as a choice. He sauntered vaguely downward. He goes along as far as he can.

In That Conversation, they're both hearing that the other person dislikes something they view as FUNDAMENTAL about themselves. Aziraphale IS an angel. Crowley IS a demon. They don't recognise how their choices determine their identities, and so misunderstand each other and ultimately, lose each other.

If they could see past those titles, then what would they find? And...something, something.

Where was I going with this?

Oh, right! Being human.

Anyway, if free-will is one of the requirements of Being Human then everyone qualifies whether they know it or not.

3. On the Nature of LOOOOOOVE

Falling in love. "It's what humans do." SO SAYS Aziraphale.

And well.

You know?

Enough said.

So, if Being Human means having free will AND falling in love, then...

Being an Angel or a Demon is just a job description.

And since Aziraphale and Crowley quit, then...

The only other thing that humanity has which separates them from angels and demons is that, well, they die. We die.

And so, if they are to become fully human with all the LOVE and FREEDOM of it, then they'll have to also take the death. Death, after all, is what makes the rest of it all possible. Maybe. I think, in some philosophies.

So, at a guess, the story ends like it began: in a garden.

Two humans, in love, living out their days in a cottage on the South Downs.

WILD RANDOM GUESSES (and how likely I think they are):

Jesus is a nepo baby, and Humanity turns on him because flying in a private jet is pretty gauche these days (9/10 - I think that this could go either way. When this idea was conceived in the 90s/00s private jets weren't the absolute bane of our literal continued existence as they are now. Some ideas don't age perfectly. The record shop, the...message box. Machine. The voice mail thing. The pay per view porn. But this one could have fun new connotations!)

Crowley becomes the new Duke of Hell and makes his dominion here on Earth (5/10 - Break ups can be Hell, and I think Crowley spiting Aziraphale's little efforts at beautification, or spurning all the places they used to love together is kind of fun. Also would explain global warming, buuuuut Crowley was pretty certain about not going back to Hell so...)

Aziraphale studies the porn in an effort to learn how to seduce Crowley. It's what humans do (like, a 8/10? I think it'll happen but I have no idea how it'd fit in)

Humans clone a whale. After all, God says to get back to her once we've managed to make a whale. (6/10. If Season 3 touches on the idea of emancipation (I didn't mention it up top, but here it is. Theme: EMANCIPATION) then I think it'd be funny for the cloning of a whale to signify Humanity's emancipation from Heaven and Hell, and God Herself. After all, if humans are God's children, all children - no exceptions - grow up.)

Humanity holds a General Strike against Heaven and Hell. It starts with a little old woman who just refuses to die. We all know one -- she's constantly being taken to the hospital, her family warned to prepare, and yet, somehow, she's back at the nursing home the next day. She just refuses to go. She's tired of all their nonsense (4/10 I think that there's no way humanity can outmatch Heaven or Hell for sheer strength so victory will have to come from somewhere else. Neil is a member of a union. A union currently on strike. Little guys taking on the Big Bads. I think it's a very relevant theme these days, but as I'm also in that same strike, I am le biased)

One of the guest leads is a pathologist named Dr. Leighton Quick. Because he deals with the Late. And the Quick. Get it? He's between Life and Death. Heaven and Hell. A human mediator. Seeking out answers to mete out justice on Earth. (-400/10 Absolutely impossible unless Neil has the exact same taste for puns that I do. But there are so many options, so...unlikely. I just think it's funny.)

Some old man is working in Heaven. He accidentally forgot to get off the escalator, and has been in accounting up there for 40 years. No one has noticed. (3/10. It's the kind of absurdity I can see happening. I just don't know how it'd fit. Only slight less likely than Duke Crowley)

The Somewhere Cold people go after Death is a Reception Lobby on the 42nd Floor. It's halfway between Up and Down. It has no windows and fluorescent lights. It's not horrible, but the A/C is broken so summer or winter, it's freezing cold. (7/10. I mean, it's a government office building, right? You're always waiting. It's always boring af. The A/C is always broken.)

Death is some Scottish Guy. Because of Crow Road. Because of David. Because it's funny. Because Death also deserves a little garden in the highlands. He lives on Crow Road. (10/10-1. I like it. It's probably too on the nose)

Aziraphale dies. It's some gambit. Crowley tries to intervene in some clever way, but is shocked when his miracle fails. Aziraphale smiles. Says, "It's too late, Crowley. It was always too late. Forgive me." And he walks off, hand in hand with Death. Crowley tracks Death down to Scotland. He finds Aziraphale having tea with Death in the garden (it ENDS in a garden). Death cannot be overcome, but he can be put off a bit. He agrees to restore Aziraphale to life on the condition that Crowley give up his immortality, and that someday, He'll come back for both of them. Crowley agrees. (15/10. I just like this. So, I'm betting hard on it. Vibes.)

[inocennt]

What's a song Taylor's done which is similar to TTPD The Song?

so i'm gonna go ahead and answer this based on lyrics and themes rather than production, bc i'm not really well versed in that (though funnily enough, i do think the ttpd verses and the superman chorus sound kinda similar if you think about it sfdsdfds), but oooh man do i have. a Few. 👀

I really love @wavesoutbeingtossed's take on TTPD as a manic version of Mine (on my Speak Now/TTPD narrative comparison playlist, I actually also have these two paired up on the chronology). In terms of narrating the story of a relationship from a broad perspective and choosing to stick things out through the tough times, these two are definitely very similar.

Keeping on the Speak Now train: Innocent. I know this may be an odd take, considering how most people seem to be unable to separate Innocent from its Kanye connotations, but at its core, Innocent is simply a song about seeing the good in someone, keeping faith, and believing in second chances, both for yourself and for the people around you. To me, it represents the last fragment of faith and trust that Taylor's character has in Speak Now, before the ultimate conclusion comes to pass in Haunted and Dear John. This sense of faith and assurance directed towards a second party who is clearly falling apart is paralleled strongly in TTPD. Some of my favorite lyrical connections include: "You awaken with dread, pounding nails in your head" vs "Did some things you can't speak of, but at night you live it all again" / "Your string of lights is still bright to me" vs "Who's gonna hold you like me? Who's gonna know you if not me?" / "You're in self-sabotage mode, throwing spikes down on the road, but I've seen this episode and still loved the show" vs "Lost your balance on a tightrope, it's never too late to get it back." I also think that, when taking Innocent as a parallel to TTPD, you can also connect "32 and still growing up now" to Peter, and Innocent's "who you are is not what you did" to The Smallest Man's eventual "you are what you did." TTPD is the point in time where she still believes he is "innocent," before he crushes her faith in a way not too dissimilar to the muse of Speak Now's narrative.

This flips the perspective around, but Anti-Hero very much feels like TTPD from the subject's point of view. When they awaken with dread, screaming from dreaming, it's because their depression is working the graveyard shift. "Did you hear my covert narcissism I disguise as altruism like some kind of congressman?" feels like the exact kind of question that the subject of TTPD would ask that gets her to reply with, "This ain't the Chelsea Hotel, we're modern idiots." "I stare directly at the sun, but never in the mirror" is PEAK self-sabotage mode. Anti-Hero and TTPD are just straight up having a conversation to me lmao, they're just so Linked™.

This is based mostly on general vibes rather than any overt thematic link, but: Hoax. Simply for how much weight "don't want no other shade of blue but you, no other sadness in the world will do" carries for the song, and how perfectly that ties to "I chose this cyclone with you." There's also some fascinatingly deeper thematic undertones when tying the "TTPD = Anti-Hero" connection back to "you knew the hero died, so what's the movie for?" and how that could begin to imply the eventual death/absence of the lover in TTPD, which in and of itself also links back to lyrics we go on to see later in the album ("two graves, one gun," "he said he'd love me all his life, but that life was too short," "you said normal girls were boring but you were gone by the morning"). And how, if we return to the thematic connection of TTPD and Innocent, and how Innocent represents the last threads of faith that the narrator had during the Speak Now chapter of her story, then of course, she already knows that the eventual disappearance of this new lover, the "hero," was always meant to be. She's seen the film before. He didn't come back, like he would if this was a movie. It's all just part of the prophecy.

[darkx-the-dragon-kn1ght]

Chapter 19- Part 14

Also, apparently Cal is special enough to get his own battle theme? It sounds like a remix of Marnie’s theme- and this theme is an absolute banger, but I’m still shaken by being thrust into another major battle!

Okay, okay, calm down- he can’t be that much higher-leveled than Victoria and Fern’s teams. Riptide’s not exactly equipped to deal with the Torkoal when the sun’s out like this, though, so let’s bring in the newly-evolved Crater instead.

…Huh. So, Hidden Power is a move that gets boosted by this Field, and Torkoal’s Hidden Power is Electric-type. Okay. I think at this point, the information overload has just rendered me numb.

Let’s see- Earth Power is sure to do a lot, right?

Aha!? Oh, she just one-shotted it! It didn’t even get a chance to launch a second attack! Wait- can I just do that again on Magmortar?

Lv. 34, huh? Higher-leveled than I was expecting, but Earth Power is sure to go a lot, still!

HAH! The Quick Claw strikes again!

Oh, Magmortar actually survived- and Fire Punch did pretty decent damage despite Crater being resistant to Fire moves. Well, regardless, another Earth Power should finish the job.

So Cal’s a monotype Fire Trainer? Guess that makes sense, what with the sunlight and all. But while I feel like Crater can just keep sweeping his team with Earth Power, I don’t want to do that because of the level cap. Now, if it was a hard level cap I wouldn’t be so concerned and I would keep using her, but that’s not how things work, so I still have to keep an eye on exp. points.

So…let’s use Glare for Houndoom, here.

We’ll start with Glare™, as usual, before launching into an Acid Spray assault.

Wait…Inferno? I barely recognize that move, I don’t see it used that often, but isn’t that a really strong Fire move? Like, really-

…Ah. Well, so much for that plan, uh…okay, let’s try Riptide. He can’t do much damage to this thing, but he can resist Fire moves just fine!

Let’s start with Scary Face, give him some breathing-

Uuuuh?? Ooh, Inferno is still doing a whole lot- and Riptide’s burned, now!? He was already not gonna be doing a lot of damage, you didn’t have to Burn him on top of that!

You know what, I know this Marnie remix slaps like no other, but you know where my mind is actually going right now, given the current situation? Rainbow Road in minor key. Seems fitting for how absolutely cursed this encounter is…

This is a disaster- why does it just keep spamming Inferno!? USE A DIFFERENT MOVE, YOU HACK! Whose idea was it to let the dog have a move like that? I don’t even remember what its base power is, I just remember it’s a strong move!

(Future edit: So I looked it up after this session, and Inferno has a base power of 100, about what I thought it was. However, I also found that the move’s accuracy is 50%- it’s a coin-flip move. And this Houndoom landed that coin-flip three times. In a row. So either a.) the Houndoom has an accuracy-boosting item, b.) this Rainbow Road terrain does something to boost Inferno’s accuracy, or c.) all my luck was used up with Crater’s Quick Claw.)

There’s no way Riptide can win this, and once he’s down- well, Prong and Decibel definitely won’t be able to beat it, and Crater might be able to survive with some healing and Amnesia, but I have no idea what the rest of Cal’s team looks like! He could have a Ground-type (like, maybe a Camerupt of his own), and then what? Not to mention the risk of Crater getting too much exp. and going over the level cap a result...

Sooo, since we’re really not equipped to deal with a team like this…I don’t think there’s much of a choice but to reset. Man- I was feeling so good after that clutch victory against Fern, and then to get ambushed by Cal like that? I just wanted to check out the Gym for a minute or two and then end the chapter! That was it!

I’m not as incensed by Cal and his attitude like I was in the last chapter (I have recovered from my post-character death bloodlust), so I don’t hate him for those reasons- instead, I’m now upset with him for entirely different reasons! I WON’T FORGET ABOUT THIS, CAL!! JUST YOU WAIT!!

So for right now, there will be two objectives for next chapter: build a team to take on Cal, and then maybe build another team to challenge Shelly? Assuming there are no other plot elements to resolve before we battle her? I doubt there will be- the level cap is Lv. 35, and we’re really towing that line by now, so there can’t be much more to this story arc. 

Apologies for the anticlimactic end to this chapter, it’s not really pleasant to end on a lost/reset battle. However, if I must say something in my defense- how was I supposed to know there’d be a Cal jumpscare after two back-to-back battles with my rivals?? But mark my words, I’ll be back and better than ever next time! I will be avenged!!

CURRENT TEAM:

Riptide

Species: Feraligatr

Gender: Male

Level: 33

Ability: Sheer Force*

Item: Quick Claw

Brave nature; Alert to sounds.

Glare

Species: Arbok

Gender: Female

Level: 32

Ability: Intimidate

Item: Protective Pads

Naughty nature; Highly curious.

Prong

Species: Charjabug

Gender: Female

Level: 32

Ability: Battery

Item: None

Rash nature; Loves to eat.

Decibel

Species: Noibat

Gender: Female

Level: 32

Ability: Telepathy*

Item: Focus Sash

Bashful nature; Often lost in thought.

Crater

Species: Camerupt

Gender: Female

Level: 33

Ability: Magma Armor

Item: Quick Claw

Hardy nature; Often scatters things.

Kirin

Species: Girafarig

Gender: Female

Level: 32

Ability: Sap Sipper*

Item: None

Quirky nature; Thoroughly cunning.

CURRENT BOXES:

NUMBER OF RELOADS: 12

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