#this reads like the set up for a smutty romance novel and I love it

[mjrtaurus]

Not me re-watching the end of Alabasta, looking at those massive royal baths and going "Crocodile being invited to accompany Cobra to the royal baths and not being pressured to bathe but when he sees Cobra washing himself it's the most he's ever been tempted to get into the water in who knows how long" ndshbfvhdbvfhjd

Cobra, of course, offers for him to join in. He is an honored guest, after all.

And Crocodile… accepts. Not only would turning the offer down come across as rude (which would hurt his rapport with the Cobra’s trusted people), and it would make him seem weak (running away will only make people think that he is nothing without his devil fruit, and that is something his pride will not abide by).

Iva’s miracle working gave him the body to match his heart and soul, but it didn’t- couldn’t- erase scar tissue. So, if Cobra or any of his guards have anything to say about the crescent marks beneath his pecs, they are wise to hold their silence.

He does have to admit, the water is nice… clear, warm, and with a hint of lavender perfume. It melts the tension right out of him.

And perhaps that lack of tension is why- whilst he was going about the task of washing himself with one hand- he let Cobra help. At least with his hair.

And maybe that’s when Crocodile realizes that he’s been more than a little touch-starved for the last twenty or so years…

[danikamariewrites]

Romance Books

Eris x reader

A/n: another installation of corruption kink Eris x reader but this one is really sweet

Warnings: suggestive and fluff

One of the many Mating gifts Eris has given you so far is a library. A room had been cleared out and built to be your dream library. Big windows, a reading book, and cozy furniture sat among the empty stacks. The cases waiting to be filled by you and Eris.

On your most recent date with Eris he took you into the city to buy you books. “I want you to start filling our library, my heart,” he said as he held your hands outside the bookstore. You were bouncing on the balls of your feet. Anxious to buy out the whole store for your new collection. Your books from home have been moved in already, as well as a few of Eris’s favorites from his own room.

Eris had encouraged you to buy whatever you wanted. You decided to grab a multitude of each genre. Especially romance novels. You thought learning about different aspects of relationships from different angles would be useful. Besides, you didn’t want all the romance of this mating to rest on Eris’s shoulders.

This afternoon, you once again found yourself reading one of your new smutty books in your usual spot. You had picked one of the more mild Sellyn Drake novels. Lots of kissing was in this one.

As the chapter goes on, the male character makes his way down the female's body. Kissing every part of her. Your cheeks heat and you squeeze your thighs together at the rush of arousal between your legs. Clearing your throat you shift your position. You curl up into a ball, pressing yourself against the back cushions and holding the book up to cover your crimson cheeks.

Eris watched as you repositioned yourself to be covered. He could smell your arousal from across the room. Smirking, your mate silently stood, quickly making his way over to you.

Eris plops himself down on the couch hard enough to make you bounce. The scream you let out distracted you from him plucking the steamy romance from your unusually tight grip. “Eris!” You gasp out. “Good gods! Don’t scare me like that,” a giggle escapes your lips as you swat at his chest.

“What’s got you so edge, little fox?” He hums, amber eyes skimming the page you left off on. His wicked smirk slowly spreads on his lips. “My, my little fox. I didn’t know you were reading these kinds of romance novels.” You bury your reddening face in your hands as Eris keeps reading.

“I didn’t want you to be the only romantic one.” Eris let out a breathy laugh, marking your spot and setting your book down to pull you into his arms. “Little fox, what are you talking about? You do romantic things for me everyday.” He kisses you on the head, adjusting you on his lap.

“Really?” You pull your hands from your face, resting them on his strong chest. Letting out a sigh Eris kisses your nose, “Of course. You spend time with me every day, all those little kisses you give me when you pass my desk, even putting my favorite candies on top of my papers is romantic.”

You give your sweet mate a big smile. “I love you, Eris.” Eris stops breathing for a moment. Soft, bright flames dance in his amber eyes. That’s the first time you’d ever said that to him. Eris’s smile widened, “I love you more, little fox.”

Taking the lead you closed the space between you two, slipping a hand into his fiery locks and tugging a little. You felt the bond sing as your lips moved against his. Eris pulled away sooner than you liked. He gently held your chin with his thumb and forefinger. “Now,” he whispered against your lips, “how would you like to explore what you’ve been reading about?” You felt your cheeks flush again as you nod slowly. Eris smirks and begins to kiss down your jaw to your neck. Cauldron, how did this feel even better than your lips?

Eris moved lower and lower until he was kneeling on the floor in front of you, holding your hips. “Are you gonna be a good girl for me?” His voice was deeper and smoother than you’d ever heard. The seductive tone sent a shiver down your spine rendering you speechless. Another nod was all you could muster. “Just relax, little fox. I got you.” Eris winked before slowly pushing your dress up your legs.

[pursuitseternal]

Can I get “Do your worst” for Ascended Astarion x f!tav please? Bonus points if you can get some bdsm in there 🥵

“Do your worst…”

Also now published as: “Choke Me” update for “The Rogue You Were”

Ascended Astarion x f!Reader | Smut Ask fill

CW: BDSM, collar and leash, breath play, choking, spanking, Elven erogenous zones

It started after dinner, you decided to spend your evening in the library tonight, a roaring fire in the grate and books pressed to your faces. Lounging on top of one another on the couch, you stroke his soft silver curls as he rests his head in your lap.

You can feel his warmth through your thin silk skirt, his fingers tracing the seams of your skirt. His book rests in his hands, propped up on his belly, his back resting between the length of your extended legs.

If you close your eyes and ignore the fact your heart barely beats and your skin is corpse cold, it’s almost as if you’re back in the camp on those long, star-kissed nights. Just you… and your Rogue, curled by the fire in the comfort of his tent.

Every soft ambient sound is identical, the crackle of the fire, the whisper of pages as they turn, the soft wash of breath as he sighs and settles tighter against you.

For that moment, you forget that he is your Sire, the Vampire Ascendant.

You swallow, your throat pulsing against his latest gift, a tight fitting necklace that hugs every sinew of your neck. Black velvet ribbon and shining mithral chains. Costly. Precious. And dear.

Just like you, Astarion had said as he closed it around your neck, adjusting that encrusted ring between the chains just so…

Your fingers fidget with those chains now, the sharp, small metallic sounds making Astarion’s pointy ears twitch. “Enjoying your newest gift, little love?” he purrs, eyes still scanning the page of his book.

But somehow you can feel every tendon and sinew in his body coiling, readying to pounce.

“It’s elegant,” you reply, slipping a finger beneath the heavy chains. “But it is a bit tight.”

“Just tight enough to remind you,” he trails off, eyes flashing their crimson gaze towards you, upside down, before turning back to his page.

“Remind me of what?” you ask, almost absentmindedly, your eyes focused on the next few lines of your novel. You raise its soft little cover up in one hand, the plot thickens the more you read… and you can sense a nice smut scene about to unfold on your pages…

You didn’t hear his low voice through the cover…. Until he clears his throat with a noise, almost a snarl. An unamused one.

“Oh, my darling, please don’t tell me you’re ignoring me for some… fictional romance,” his voice whines in silken tones to shroud his suspicion.

Your heart leaps into your throat as he snaps his book shut. Pale fingers curl over the top of your novel as Astarion pulls it, revealing your now blushing face. White hot shame at being caught colors even your undead complexion.

You look down at him, his face upside down as he lies nestled in your skirts. From this angle, his smile is uncanny, that sly fang-glinting smirk that instantly makes you wet. And by the way his nostrils flare, he can scent it already.

It only makes that insufferable grin twist all the more rakish.

Deft fingers pry your smutty novel from your eager hands, setting it on the expanse of his belly. “I said…” he begins, that tone already low and threatening in the best possible way, “your necklace… your collar is to remind you to whom you belong, my treasure.” He frowns, pouting, at least you think he does, it’s disorienting to look at him topsy turvy on your lap. “Tch, not off to a great or convincing start, little love.”

You roll your eyes, reaching for your book… only to have his fingers snap shut around your wrist. He keeps you there, hand suspended in one grip. His other hand reaches slowly to stroke the sensitive flesh of your neck, teasing and dipping beneath the soft ribbon and hard links of your necklace.

Your collar, he called it.

“Ah, ah,” he mocks in that chiding tone. “You haven’t earned your little escapism back yet. You might not ever,” he warns. “You think I’m happy letting your mind dwell on some dashing hero that lives on a page?” He pouts his thick lips before he licks them. “Are my words not enough for you?”

You blush, staring at him teasing at you from the middle of your silken skirts.

“Your blush betrays you, little love,” he purrs. “Seems you need reminding that what you have with me will satisfy you better than any man in your mind.”

“I don’t know,” you can’t help but tease back, “I have a very vivid imagina—”

That last word is swallowed as his fingers find the ring in your necklace and pull.

Hells… that tight little necklace locks around your throat, a steely caress of velvet and precious metal that makes your slow undead pulse pound in your ears. You gasp for air you don’t need, panic setting in regardless.

Astarion gives that low, wicked, rolling chuckle. “Should we test my imagination, darling?” he croons, pulling your collar just a smidge tighter as he sits up. He towers over you, pinning your thighs beneath his legs as he straddles you. “All that reading… I hope you can keep up with what I have planned for you in reality,” he taunts, tugging on your collar on the last word.

Your stomach blazes with need, hot desire running through your veins at breakneck speed. Even though you technically don’t need to breathe, your eyes are wide with the thrill of being controlled, your lungs burn at the foreign sensation of being stifled so thoroughly.

He pulls you by your collar, stopping only once your nose presses against his. That paper bound novel of yours in his hand, he waves it next to your head, pinching its offending existence between his fingers. “Perhaps we can repurpose this as a part of your reminder?”

“Hmm,” you feel bold, invincible, now that you have settled into the dull ache of pain and let it inspire you, making your hungry nerves crave more. “Do your worst…”

“Oh you know me, my treasure,” he growls, lips pressed into your ear, fangs scoring on your neck, “I only give you my very best.”

His rumbling laugh, low in his belly, inundates your senses. Yanking you by your collar, you gulp and gag at the force. Eyes shut from the pain, you slowly realize he’s laid you out over the couch’s arm. Vauguely something metallic clicks behind your head, and it’s only after he pulls you taut, bending you back by your collar do you realize he’s attached something to that ring.

A leash, a simple chain of matching shining bright metal he’s still fishing entirely out of his pocket. The links jingle merrily, your only warning before he pulls it tight. “My pretty consort,” he purrs, “I don’t like to see worry cast so on your face. Fear not,” his warm touch lifts your skirts up to bare your ass, “you are mine.”

The metal tugs your head to the side as he bends down, reverencing your ass cheeks with a few blunt-toothed kisses. Nothing to break the skin. Just enough to make you sigh some strangled moans.

Warm, dexterous digits slide their way beneath the gusset of your underwear to tease out that slick he’s been smelling. “Mmmm,” he purrs, “I hope this is all for me and not from that filthy smut you’ve been indulging in without me.” You hear it, that wet slick of his fingers crooking inside you, aiming for that spot that makes your thighs tremble instantly.

“Now, pet,” he sniggers at the moniker, easing your leash to give it a waggle. Just for effect. “Let’s repurpose this novel of yours. After all, if you can find enjoyment in its pages, perhaps I can too…” He tests the weight of it in his grip, the other hand pulling you by your leash and collar to make you strain upwards just slightly. “You asked for my worst, but you are only worthy of my best, darling…”

Smack. Your body jolts, pain-pleasure racing up your spine as the book connects with your rear. A little moaned grunt slips from your lips.

“What was that, my dear? Good enough for you?” he purrs, rubbing the reddening mark on your backside.

You hang your head, laughing breathlessly. “If I said no…” you leave the question unfinished.

He gives a little growl of disapproval, arm swinging back to land your little novel square on the other cheek. Harder this time, you yelp as your body lurches forward.

A smooth tug on your leash guides your face next to his, your lithe back bending as he whispers in your ear. The wash of his warm breath tickles. “Now, little love, good enough at last? Or does the man on these pages still hold sway?”

Leaning against his mouth you sigh, “It’s very good, but I think I’m missing something. My void is aching to be filled… I feel desperate with wanton need… pulsing, throbbing, leaking…”

“Hells below, my dear, is this the kind of drivel you’re consuming?” He chides you as he tosses the book down on the couch. “Well, if you’re wanton hole needs serving, I’d be a cad not to comply. No fictional man will get the better of me,” he chuckles.

You hear it, feel it. His free hand easing his trousers open enough for his cock to spring free. Your hands brace on the arm of the couch, your clothing too tight. You curse that silk on your torso, the bodice that pinches your breasts and irritates your skin.

Only your legs and ass are bare, free for his touch and his tongue. Warm breath washes over your cunt first, and you know he’s pulling out all his tricks to impress you, to distract you from your smutty little novel. Fingers tease at your clit, his skilled tongue lapping in and out of your channel, while you let out a string of colorful curses and florid language.

His laughter vibrates into your cunt, wetness dripping down your thigh. Spit… slick… you can’t tell any longer what’s seeping as his tongue fucks in and out, in perfect rhythm with his fingers as they circle your bud.

Heat coils in your belly, flooding your muscles with ungodly fire and need. Close, so close, you pant as just the right teasing pressure grazes your clit….

…until it all disappears. You scream in frustration. Your hips buck and grind into nothing

Hirrrk… you gag and groan at once as he pulls you by that jingling leash until you land, splayed on your back. Satisfied as you catch your breath he grins at you. You are a mess across the couch. A small mercy, he lets go of your leash and tosses those metal links to rest beside you. “Be a good pet,” he purrs, “and spread those legs for me again….” He cages you in, a wicked smile and arching brows as he hovers over you. “Unless you’d rather enjoy your… fictional pleasures?”

His finger slips inside your necklace, easing the chain apart as he settles comfortably between your thighs. Finally you can swallow and take a deep gulp of air. The relief on your face makes him leer, capturing your softly smiling lips in a kiss. He’s tender and slow, the warm tip of his tongue tracing your lips. As you part them, you taste the tang of your own slick. A hum escapes your throat, and you match the daring darts of this tongue with your own. Your hunger for him eagerly rises, hands pulling on the soft velvet of his breeches, gripping the backs of his thighs to bring him closer.

To guide his cock where you are aching for him.

“You haven’t even asked me once what I was reading about,” you rasp, taunting him with a mischievous tone. “You didn’t even notice its main hero is an elf…”

Those silver brows twist, canting in all their rakish glory. “Is that so?” he purrs, grinding the long shaft of his cock up and down your seam. “Was my little love being a quick study? Care to share your…”

Your fingers brush the shells of his ears, both at once. His cock twitches so hard between you, you can feel the precum leaking onto your belly.

“Hells,” he groans. But you’re not done. One hand at the back of his head, you turn him quickly, taking that soft flesh of his earlobe and sucking it loudly between your smirking lips.

The whimper from his mouth is divine, the shudders that race down his spine ripple in time with the jerks of his cock again.

Quickly, you slot him inside you, eliciting the loudest snarl from him you have ever heard. His hips move quickly, snapping into you, already so close to his release. “Godsdammit, darling,” he hisses even as you keep your lips tracing the shell of his ear. “I’m the one who should be…”

You suckle the soft curve of his ear again, nibbling your way to the tip. The faintest brush of your tongue on his precious, pointy ear has him shuddering and slamming into you with erratic abandon. “I… can’t…” he pants, breathing through his fangs clenched tightly. With one last curse on his own choking breath, he thrusts home, warm cum spurting deep inside you as he convulses and crushes you, the throbbing of his cock in your walls enough to throw you into your own orgasmic oblivion.

Pleasure tears through you, blistering hot as every muscle goes taut. Shaking, panting, you grip around his head, careful not to bite his ear in your fangs.

With one final graze of your teeth on his fleshy earlobe, you relax. You feel him shiver and swallow one last exhausted whimper as he lays all his weight on you.

A few breaths, and all is again as it once was—a warm, post-coital embrace. Wet. Hot. And wordlessly brimming with love.

Something prods at your hip beneath you, and fetching it, you realize it’s your novel. Reaching around his mussy curls, you find your page, fully aware that he’s still hard and seated deep inside you.

He makes no complaint now as you pick up right where you left off. Only his breathing grows steady, his head nuzzling into your neck as his fingers trace the fine metal of your collar. He mumbles something into the hollow of your throat. “What was that?” you reply, as if this was the most mundane evening in existence.

His voice is slurred, worn out from the intensity of his pleasure, and it makes you grin as he rasps, “You certainly did your worst, my darling, and I loved it…”

[cinnbar-bun]

Mihawk Gen NSFW HCs

Rating: NSFW, it's all smut here baby

Headcanons are under the read more.

You can read this on my AO3 here!

A generous, thorough lover, who doesn’t waste any time getting down to business with you. 

Mihawk is incredibly patient and passionate with his touches. It’s intimate, it’s loving, and he uses physical action to express more of what he feels than through his own words. 

Mihawk, first and foremost, is a lover of roleplay. And not just any roleplay. No, no, no- we’ve seen how extra Mihawk is in general, and it is no different in the bedroom. He loves certain “themes” (which you begin to recognize the pattern of after a few ‘sessions’ with him). 

His favorite roleplay scenarios include: 

Injured, wandering swordsman needing a place to stay and heal after a terrible battle, and you happen to find him and take him in (and fuck him). 

Wandering swordsman comes across a dark castle with you trapped inside due to your evil father/lord (and then you fuck). 

Lord of the castle sees you trespassing on his estate and takes you as his prisoner (whom he falls majorly in love with and fucks).

Loyal swordsman/bodyguard falls for his lord despite the different class ranks and society forbidding your love (you two fuck anyways). 

Dark vampire swordsman invites you into castle after you stumble in during a terrible storm (and then he fucks you to remind you to never trust unsuspecting strangers in their dark castles).

This man gets VERY into his scenarios. He’s preparing a script for himself, buying outfits and decor that perfectly match the theme (because how DARE you try to have sex in a room that is NOT accurate to gothic interior design), and lighting different scents and waiting for the perfect weather. 

That doesn’t mean he’ll never have sex otherwise, he’s just a very detail-oriented person who gets really caught up in things like settings and feelings. It makes the sex better when all his senses are filled with what he feels are the “correct” attributes of a scene. It makes him excited that you trust and enjoy playing along into these scenarios with him, and he views it as a bonding activity. 

He wasn’t particularly sexually active with someone before, so when you two get close together, he begins to read plenty of romance novels to get an idea or two for a good way to woo and excite you. This does mean reading plenty of smut. You can tell when he’s reading it by the way his face looks even more serious than usual. It’s very subtle compared to his normal appearance, but when he furrows his brows and nods curiously at different times, he’s almost certainly reading a smutty scene. 

A way you can tell he’s in the mood (beyond him proposing and asking to do a roleplay session with you), is when he kisses your neck more and offers you plates of fresh fruits like apples, pomegranates, figs, or strawberries. 

Speaking of fruits, he’s not averse to food play. It depends on the type of food, generally, but with things like fruits or even honey, he’s absolutely down for it. If you two are really feeling frisky, he might pour wine on you and lick it off. 

Despite his eagerness to cut his enemies down- he absolutely will NOT cut you. To him, as a swordsman, seeing any scars on you would mean he has failed to protect you, and he sees that as a source of shame. It would take a while before he dares bring a knife or sword into the bedroom to use on you. Until then, it might appear as a prop or just be held by your side to get the “thrill” of being cut. 

I also doubt he’d enjoy getting cut either, as a scar is a source of shame on a swordsman. Actual cuts are not something he wants, but he probably would not mind something like hickies or hand/finger prints. 

He does enjoy restraints- whether on you or him. He prefers ropes and leather belts over something like handcuffs. Hell, even your own hands will be good too. 

Mihawk adores your neck and your hands. Pro tip, moisturize your hands a lot and he will spend his time peppering kisses all over your hands. 

He can get sappy as hell during foreplay. He will kiss all over your arms and hands and body. It’s Gomez Addams levels of adoration towards you. 

Tends to whisper affectionate nicknames to you, and occasionally, when he’s really into it, he will whisper beautiful words of praise for you in his language (I personally hc him as Transylvanian so I think he’d speak Romanian, but I know many others believe him to be Spanish or Italian so hey, whatever floats your boat my lovelies <3. You can just imagine). 

Mihawk isn’t loud during bed (but then again, when is he ever?), but he lets out the most beautiful moans and pants ever. When he gets close, his breath picks up and ugh, can you imagine the world’s strongest swordsman just panting in your ear? It’s a sound you won’t be forgetting anytime soon. 

He is rather possessive but also respectful of your feelings, so he wouldn’t prefer to have public sex or sex with a risk of getting caught. He would not have sex where Perona or Zoro could easily walk in (Perona has made that mistake once and never again), so Mihawk always blocks off a room in the castle specifically for the both of you to indulge in all of your whims together with. Everyone else knows not to step in there for fear of Mihawk’s wrath. 

His aftercare is wonderful, and during this time, he may become more talkative. It’s more so to make sure you were okay and if you enjoyed it or not. He’d carefully tend to you and clean you and the bed up before you to go to sleep or back to work. 

Mihawk likes to have sex with you the night before he leaves to various missions. One reason being that it’s a way for you two to enjoy the intimacy of each other before a long stretch of time where he’s off. Two, he likes seeing the smile on your face and the post-sex afterglow that surrounds you when you begin to fall asleep. It comforts him and gives you a good reminder of him when he’s gone in the morning (not without him leaving you a note saying he’ll seen you soon). 

[genshin-impact-unofficial]

Naughty Little Secret Pt.1

Reactions of Genshin men finding your spicy literature.

Ft. Diluc, Cyno and Thoma 

(PART 2) Ft. Childe, Albedo, and Alhaitham (PART 3) Ft. Scaramouche, Itto, and Xiao

Tags: PG-13, Sexual Themes, GN!Reader, Technically SFW, Crushes, Flustered boys 4 lyfe, Fluff? Notes: Dabbling my toesies into some saucier content. Part two will be out soon, possibly tomorrow. Will be linked above once done. THX! (Repost)

Diluc

You'd been lent the book by another maid. The buzz surrounding a new romance novel was overwhelmingly positive and you would be lying to say you weren’t curious too. It wouldn't hurt to just have a small peek at it during your break. After setting some tea to boil, you made yourself comfortable and began to immerse yourself into the reading. 

It begins with a forbidden love. A shining knight that only knew hardships, and a princess that was betrothed to a wicked king for diplomatic gain. You smiled a little, it was clear why the maids of manor had taken a liking to the story. The brooding knight reminded you immensely of the young master of Dawn Winery. When you read the kind but stoic interactions, you could only fondly picture Diluc. You were quite close to him, and often even found him charming. It amused you to imagine a knightly Diluc going out on little adventures. 

Inevitably, the knight could not hold back the weight of love any longer. He swept up the princess in his strong arms, and held her in a moment of passion. The knight left a trail of kisses up the princesses neck, his tongue grazing her sweetly soft enticing skin. The princess begged for more and, by duty, he was happy to oblige. Rough calloused hands roamed up her dress and hungry lips claimed hers as she was guided onto the bed. The princess shuttered when his body laid atop of hers and felt the prominent bulge of his- OH MY! 

You quickly set down the book and took a breath to calm your heart. Maybe imagining the protagonist as your boss wasn’t the best idea. A kettle screaming from the kitchen snapped you from your thoughts. "Oh no the tea!" You exclaimed while hurrying into the other room to stop it from boiling over.

-

“Is everything alright?” Diluc entered the small dining area, only to see no one was present. He'd been sure he had heard a high pitch noise just then. Ever diligent, the man spared a moment to take a look for himself. Nothing seem out of the ordinary... except an open book discarded on the table. He picked it up and briefly scanned the pages. Nothing suspicious, it was just a novel and- Oh. It seems he might have stumbled onto something more.... private.

You entered the room through the opposite door, tea in hand. When you met eyes with Diluc, who was still holding your smutty novel, you froze in place. You stared at one another with widened eyes, as if neither knowing what to do next. Diluc was the first to break the silence.

“Ah, Y/N I apologize. I never meant to disturb you on your break. I’ll leave you to your... uh, reading here.” Diluc tried to keep his composure but it was clear by the slight hue on his ears that he had read some of its contents.

“Master Diluc, It’s not what it looks like. I um... was holding this for a friend I swear!” You half lied, but your tone growing desperate to save face. “I mean, I didn’t- I don’t.... I- Uh- Oh archons.” You blabbered on, not able to keep any of your composure. Your face was in your hands and you could feel how much heat was coming off your flushing face. Diluc could see clearly how utterly embarrassed you were. He would never say so, but he was honestly quite endeared at how flustered a little book could get you. Your reactions were always pretty cute. As a result, it was near impossible to resist teasing you only just a little. 

“Y/N, you needn’t worry.” Diluc spoke softly, taking a couple steps toward you so that he could gently pull your hands away from your face. He bent slightly so he could face you at eye level, still holding both your hands gingerly in his. “I wouldn’t dream of telling a soul, it’ll be our secret.” His voice was low, speaking loud enough for only you to hear. Even while teasing you, his Crimson eyes held an unexpected amount of genuineness for his promise to you. 

Needless to say, your next reactions were the highlight of Diluc’s week.

Cyno

Cyno could tell you were hiding something from him. Since you were one of his main informants, he had to know the nature of the secrets you kept. There were few people, especially in the Akademiya, that the man could truly trust. After years of working along side you, he held an abundance of respect and trust in you. The General Mahamatra had seen countless good people be led astray by those who were already corrupt. If he found this to be the case for you, he would deliver justice by his own hands to prevent you from becoming its next victim. The more he thought about you, the sooner the matter became a priority. 

You spent more time in your office than ever before. As an informant of the Matra, this wouldn’t be a strange behavior for you. You had plenty of data and intel to process through on a daily basis. It was also pretty meticulous work, yet you always managed put together detailed and insightful reports. You really were an asset that Cyno couldn’t afford to loose, but it became suspicious how recluse you were now. Typically you would share tea, chat, or play a match of Genius Invokation TCG with the Mahamatra after closing out an investigation report. Even while awaiting feedback from other matra, you would welcome into your office and pretend to roll your eyes at Cyno's newest batch of jokes (even though he could clearly see you chuckling a little). Yet recently, you declined every interaction outside your obligated matra duties. Once you reported your findings to Cyno, you would swiftly shoo the man from your office and shut the door behind him. This simply could not go on. He had to get to the bottom of this shift in behavior. 

Cyno tried to peering in through a vantage point, but you deliberately shut your office curtains when alone. He began to monitor the coming and going from your office but, and to his surprise, every person was also sent away in a similar fashion. There had to be something going on. The first breakthrough appeared when you were observed leaving to lunch, clutching something close to your chest....a book. There were plenty of forbidden volumes in the Akademiya's archives, was it possible you had gotten a hold of something confidential? Or maybe, you were getting caught up in researching a restricted area of knowledge? If this was the case, he had to convince you stop before you crossed a point of no return.

You were to deliberate keep the book close by most of the time, but Cyno bided his time eventually found his opening. An underling knocked on your door, coming to inform you of a last-minute meeting that required your attendance. Professionalism overrode your needs of secrecy. You immediately followed the scholar without a second glance to the door you had forgotten to close. Cyno wasted no time entering your office, otherwise he might have hesitated to invade your privacy. As expected, the book in question was open on your desk as if you had just been reading from it. The general’s piercing eyes decisively scanned the texts that he assumed to be corrupting you.

-

That was a weird meeting. You thought while heading back to your office. They urgently required your attention for... a department pep talk? It was pretty irksome, but at least it was quick. You were able to head back and finish that juicy chapter. It was just getting to such a romantic scene! Out in the wilderness, huddling for warmth with a creature of the night, and the romantic tension so thick it could be cut with a knife. You were picturing how the protagonist would react to the inhuman ferocity of the other’s devotion when they.... Is that Cyno outside your office? 

“Y/N” Cyno addresses formally as he spotted you. His posture was notably pointed and stiff. “I wanted to personally offer you my apologies. I had been wrong in my assumptions of your involvement in misconduct.”

“Misconduct? Regarding what?” You questioned incredulously. How had you of all people end up on the General Mahamatra’s radar?

“I... had reason to believe that you were undergoing research into topics prohibited by Akademiya.” Your eyes widened, he couldn’t possibly mean- “Upon further investigation, I have concluded that your studies of human and supernatural being fornication are not formally forbidden by-” You shove Cyno into your office and shut the door quickly behind you. 

“Keep your voice down!” You hissed at him, face burning so hot you were sure your skin would melt off. “That book is private, I don’t want the whole Akademiya knowing!” 

“If that’s what you wish, I’ll be sure to exercise discretion.” Cyno stated, trying to recompose himself as well. Although his exterior remained cool and collected, the small dusting of pink detected on his cheeks indicated otherwise. Oh archons, how much did he read???

“I will not speak of the...confidential information. But If you’ll allow it, I request to still have access to your company as you are conducting your ongoing research.” Cyno asked far too formally to be able to hang out in your office, even while you read your dirty book. 

Thoma

The afternoon turned to sunset and Thoma was just finishing his housekeeping duties at the Kamisato estate. Last but not least on his list was a quick sweep of the front entrance. It was to be treated with upmost importance, just like everything he had done that day. It was important that anyone visiting the estate was received into a tidy space, to do otherwise might be seen as a sign of disrespect. He got right to work! It wasn’t hard by any means, just a few leaves here, a bit of sand there, and a book laying around. ...Wait a book? 

Thoma stopped and curiously eyed the book abandoned on the wooden slats. Did someone forget this here? Well it would be best if he took it inside for safe keeping, he could search for the owner later. The blond bent down to pick up the unassuming paperback. Turning it around in his hands, he couldn’t help but notice the beautiful art on its cover. A dragon wove around the title text and velvety looking roses were dotted across the front of the volume. Wow. He had never seen such a theatrical book cover before. 

Curiosity burned Thoma’s fingertips and he considered that perhaps in reading a passage or two, he may receive a clue as to who the owner might be. It didn’t take much more reasoning than that to get the excitable boy sitting down and opening up to the first page. 

A descendant of dragon linage took up the sword to protect her clan. She banded together with humans and youkai alike to fight against a being of higher power. Thoma was immediately enthralled by the intense plot, quickly forgetting the purpose of his snooping. He eagerly continued and consumed chapter after chapter in a matter of hours. The protagonist, narrowly escaping the clutches of their last battle, was approached by their closest attendant. A confrontation about their carelessness arose. A reserved warrior, that often came off cold and aloof, scolded the protag for throwing themselves into danger and almost sacrificing themselves. The debate was heated and lashing words morphed into fierce confessions. Thoma ate up every word of the romantic sub-plot. He continued reading as a passionate kiss quickly tumbled into a steamy affair. Desperate hands grabbed at one another, and hasted ‘I love you’s were exchanged over the battlefield. She yearned to feel the warmth of the other, aches with every rub of friction. A hand surges forward to unsheathe his- Thoma shut the book abruptly when he heard your footsteps approaching. He tucked the book behind him and turned to face you, his cheeks brightly flushed. 

“Hi Thoma! You haven’t seen a book laying around have you? I think I left it around here earlier.” You ask nonchalantly to the sweating housekeeper. 

“Your book?” Dots were being connected in the blond’s mind and he really couldn’t manage out any other words. Thoma gave up trying to mutter any kind of excuse and simply held the book out to you. His eyes were downcast in shame, refusing to meet yours. You silently looked down at your paperback in this hand and then back up at him. 

“You read it?” You asked carefully, a bit embarrassed. It was obvious by his reaction that he had already gotten to one of the more... intimate scenes. Wait... that doesn't happen until chapter ten of the novel. Just how much did he actually get through?

“Y/N, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to pry into your-” 

“Did you like it?” You cut him off, excitedly awaiting his opinion. The boy looked like he'd drop dead right there.

“Ah, I didn’t get to- I mean they were about to but I-” Thoma blabbered out, still trying to be a gentleman while discussing this kind of thing with you. It wasn’t that he had disliked reading THAT. But how was he supposed to convey that to you without...

“Pffft- I’m talking about the story, ya dork. Isn’t the world building amazing?” You chuckled a little at his expense. Thoma paused for a moment, and couldn't help but let out a small laugh himself. He calmed slightly from his flustered state and happily resumed discussing the plot with you. It was the start of a quite unexpected book club. 

<A/N: Don't look at me.>

[thetxtdevil]

Royal Guard pt. 1

Taehyun x Reader

Inspired by the author @page-matcha

Royal!fem!reader touching herself late at night in her personal chambers while guard!taehyun stands outside her door at his post hearing every single noise you let out. But he's forced to stay outside and stay in his spot.

this was just so good that i had to write something.

content: smutty, royal!fem!reader, guard!taehyun, female masturbation, slight perv tae, my grammar and spelling has left the building a long time ago…

word count: 1.5k

you were the most exquisite maiden of the palace. effortlessly wearing the tightest corset with the most intricate embroidery and gowns that swayed with every move you made. you had people's heads turning, girls wanted to be you, men wanted you. being the kingdom's only princess was the cherry on top. however, with the outmost beauty you had, it left people astonished with your lack of husband even lack of courting.

spending time with your friends in the garden next to the palace. they were chatty and you found it entertaining.

"ooo he's cute." one of your friends points out a gentlemen.

the others giggle and agree while you smile at him but ignore the opportunity.

"ugh come on y/n you have to be interested in someone"

"you cannot force love it just has to happen" you say calmly as your eye up a batch of tulips.

your friends roll their eyes and they continue to look at bachelors. you were pretty but you were also smart. you are not going to settle with a simple man you had to find the perfect one. as a princess you were also a romantic and needed some romance in your life.

having enough of the hot sun and your loud friends you retire to the castle. a few maids surround you, one giving you water to drink, the other patting down a cool towel on you. your eye then catches a familiar face, a guard that the queen, your mother, tends to trust the most. he looked like he had a mission to get somewhere and wanting to know where your mother is you rushed to him after thanking the maids. you pick up your floor length gown so you could speed walk to the guard.

"excuse me"

the guard instantly stops and turns to you.

"yes you majesty"

surprised by his quickness and his great features you struggle to remember what you were about to ask.

"if you're wondering about the queen's whereabouts she is in the library, please don't mind my assumptions"

you smile lightly to him "i was wondering that"

"i was about to go there, would you like me to escort you?" the guard says while sticking his arm out for you to hold onto

"yes, i would like that very much" you smile at him again "and remind me your name"

"i am lieutenant general taehyun your majesty"

as you both arrive the library taehyun opens the door for you. you thank him before you were greeted by your queen mother's presence. you walk towards her.

"nice to see my beautiful tulip, grab a book a read with me"

you gladly do as she says and start looking for a novel. the cathedral windows light up the tall shelves of books, twirling around you settle on one area. looking closely at the titles of the books, you set your eye on one. reaching up to grab it you find your height betrays you. next thing you know a hand reaches high than yours to grab the spine of the book.

you look over at your hero which turns out to be taehyun. "thank you"

"you're welcome princess, my i say you picked a good book"

"that's good to hear, it look interesting"

you look up at the man who's looking at you with such warmth. you can't help but get lost in his big brown eyes. butterflies start to flutter in your stomach. you mother glances from her book to see you and her trusted guard. she smirks to herself keeping her thoughts to self and continues reading.

taehyun's puppy eyes suddenly turn into a stone-cold gaze as he realizes he was staring at the princess for an inappropriate amount of time.

"enjoy your book my princess" he says bowing to you

you head towards the lounge chairs you mother was laying on. every now and then you would glance at the guard feeling those butterflies again.

"i have an event in the palace tonight, would you like to join?"

you look over at your mother sighing. you go to so many events as your duty being a princess it can get tiring.

"I would like to politely decline"

besides your mind had other things to do tonight. you mother softly pinches your cheek as she smiles at you accepting your decline.

---

the sun was setting from your library day with your queen mother. you have parted ways a long time ago to do your own things. your mother was looking over what has already been prepared for the event of the night. as she straighten out the fabrics upon the table an idea pops into her head.

raising her hand for a guard to come she says "can you bring lieutenant general taehyun to me"

taehyun was outside the palace yard looking over the horses, testing their fitness and skills. he notices a fellow guard rushing to him.

"the queen summons thee"

guard taehyun rushes through the dimly lit castle halls. he finally gets to the ballroom being used tonight. the queen was talking to the maids and butler as she gets a glimpse of the guard.

"your highness"

"hello taehyun, I have an assignment for you tonight"

"yes your highness, anything I will do for you"

"can you be princess y/n's chamber guard tonight?"

taehyun gulps, he was about to question his presense on the event but decides to settle the conversation.

"will do, your highness" he bows and starts towards your chamer.

---

as he arrives the current guard informs him that you had just finished your bath. taehyun then tells the guard that their duty is now to look over the ballroom. your chamber doors are open wide revealing to taehyun the beautiful architecture of your room. wide windows that look over the kingdom one side and a big lake on the other side. your bed was in the middle with purple silk sheets and pastel color drapes encapsulating it.

you walk out with a towel in your hand drying your hair. you gasp as you see a man in your room but relax when you see it was the very handsome guard taehyun.

"sorry to scare you, your majesty, i am your guard tonight"

"oh" you say shyly

"is there something wrong?"

"no, i was just hoping to have alone time tonight"

"do not worry about me your majesty i will be just outside your chamber doors

you nod at him with a small smile. taehyun stares at you, admiring the silk slip you're wearing that matched your bedding. he straighten his posture when he caught himself glancing at the curves of your breasts. he bows to you and walks outside the chamber hiding from your sight but still within range.

you blush at the guards lingering gazes. once he was out of sight you threw your towel and fall down on your bed. you felt relaxed not having to worry about being a proper princess at the moment. fully getting into bed you open your book and start reading it, but as you're reading the feeling of butterflies keep filling your stomach. you can't help but imagine guard taehyun's handsome features being close to you again. letting those big veiny hands roam your pristine body.

you let your hand caress your breast you lean your head back on your plush pillows. your book forgotten, you let your hand fill up your sore breast from the very tight corset making a few soft sighs leave your lips. your legs were rubbing together trying to create friction on your soaking heat. you slide your dominate hand down to your already bare cunt. middle finger slipping against your folds making you sigh once more.

taehyun was a vigilant guard watching over every atom outside your personal chamber, but then he hears a small noise. he dismisses the fact until he hears it again, he walks across the rooms door trying to see if anyone is around the corner, but there was no one. as he gets back to his post he glances into your room. there he sees the most unholy sight of your pretty thighs spread apart showing off your fucked out face, your breasts bouncing from you fucking yourself with your fingers.

it takes a lot out of tae to stop himself from going into your chambers and replacing your small digits with his. with his greatest strength he goes back to his guarding spot.

there he stands there listening to every moan, whine, and whimper coming out of your pretty lips.

there he stands getting uncomfortably hard against his suit. forced to stay outside, forced to stay loyal and protective.

read -> pt. 2

A nuisance,

TxT's Devil + @page-matcha

[shitouttabuck]

Do you have any buddie fic recommendations for me? Sweet fluffy smutty idc I need something good 🥺

hiya! these are some of my faves off the top of my head and you’ve probably read most of them and if you’re like. nina. these are eighty percent fics by your mutuals. well i BECAME pals with them by adoring their writing and bullying my way into their lives about it <3

stitch my soul 30.5k by @onward--upward (soulmates au that genuinely changed my whole life i think about it daily—fair warning it’s a little heartachey, but in the best way)

it’s nice to have a friend 6.4k by @colonoscopys (a little domesticity i love this with my whole heart it’s so soft and sweet)

drench yourself in words unspoken 26k by @eddiediazes (everything is the same except eddie secretly writes romance novels and i reread this like once a month it makes me so happy)

the side effects of eating too many clementines 3k by @forthewolves (idk what to even say, no one writes love like amanda writes love, it’s a bigger-than-your-chest kind of feeling)

(this kiss is) something i can't resist 7.9k by @clusterbuck (family curse where eddie has to kiss his true love in one year or he’ll die, i laughed so much, EXACTLY the kind of romcom shit with a side of ridiculous i adore)

growing sideways 3k by @housewifebuck (extremely evan buck buckley is christopher diaz’s parent and you WILL cry about it)

left your mark on this heart 5.8k by @anxieteandbiscuits (buck thinks he has post-lightning heart complications but he’s just That stupid in love)

slip like freudian 4.4k by @jeeyuns (eddie diaz gets jinxed and is Extremely entertaining about it)

sundae kind of love 18k by @rewritetheending (okay this was the first morgan fic i ever read—and maybe one of the First buddie fics i read actually—and i think about the pier scene all the time! au where buck works at an ice cream shop by the beach)

maybe fall in love 1.8k by @try-set-me-on-fire (brick’s writing is just. unfailingly gorgeous but also 8 out of 10 times the most devastating thing you’ll ever read so this is a sweet, minimal emotional damage first kiss one???)

there’s always been a rainbow hangin’ over your head 8.7k by @alyxmastershipper (just the heartwarmingest of coming outs feat. the mug of my dreams. so so soft)

i think it’s my body wanting it the most by @transboybuckley (post-date that they’re not sure is a date, this is under a thousand words and i could not stop beaming i come back to it all the damn time)

you shaped this heart of mine 5k by justhockey (i haven’t reread this because it was such an enormous ache—in a good way—when i read it the first time, but god. god i love it so much. domestic sickfic)

i’ll scrawl it on every wall i see 29k by @letmetellyouaboutmyfeels (loosely a you’ve got mail au???? which is simply my favourite romcom in the whole world. this is so fucking funny as is everything they write and i adore it)

there ain’t language for the things i feel 1.8k by calvingseason (eddie buys buck a plant at the farmers market it is. so unbelievably soft)

i’ve almost certainly forgotten a bunch of faves so let me trawl through my bookmarks later and round some more up!!!!! highly rec ALL of these guys’ fics though SOME OF YOU are hell bent on breaking my heart these days and anon asked for “sweet. fluffy. smutty” and not hole-in-chest-in-shape-of-author's-fist, so

[shadowdaddies]

Open Books

Nesta x Reader modern AU

A/N: just a little drabble about meeting Nesta in modern London, where you own a bookshop, on rainy day

warnings: none

A sigh left your lips, frustrated air leaving your lungs as you looked out the window - or tried to - at the rainy London streets. Heavy droplets of water pounded against the windows of your cozy bookstore, nearly drowning out the peaceful music from the record player in the corner.

Sliding a stack of books from the counter, you scooped them in your arms, humming quietly as you maneuvered through stacks of books, towards the back of the store. Searching the shelves, you carefully set up the display of romance books, laughing softly at the cheesy title when you heard the shop door’s bell ring.

Muffled curses sounded from the entry as you moved swiftly to greet whatever customer had braved the storm to come inside. Your breath caught in your throat seeing the striking woman at the door, her golden brown hair in braids as she shivered from the cold and gloomy weather.

Stormy blue eyes that matched the squall outside locked with yours, a slight smirk crossing her lips as she closed her umbrella, rising to her full height to reveal a tall, toned figure. 

“Welcome in,” you greeted. “Is there anything I can help you with?”

A wry chuckle left her full lips, drawing you to stare at the smile that spread there as the woman spoke. “Sorry, I just popped in because of the rain. I teach self-defense down the road, but couldn’t even make it to the tube station with it beating down out there.” 

She scanned the room, seemingly pleased with the dark, wooden walls and warm lighting as she looked at you once more. A light blush crossed her features, adding a youthful appearance as she flashed a small smile. “I wouldn’t mind taking a peek at the romance section while I’m here, though.”

You bit your lip to hold in the slight laugh that threatened to escape, a warmth flushing over your own cheeks as you motioned her towards the back where you’d been arranging the romance novels. 

“We have this new Sellyn Drake, if that’s what you are interested in,” you murmured, voice fading on the last part as you knew how smutty those books could get. To your surprise, she nodded, braids loosening as she eagerly reached for the book on display, flipping it over as she scanned the back cover.

“I love this author,” she murmured, gaze focused on the writing as she grinned impishly. Those startling blue eyes flashed to yours as the smile spread. “Do you like her books?” she questioned, the breath stilling in your lungs at the sight of her. Her smirk turned knowing, feline amusement dancing across her sharp features as the woman watched you.

Clearing your throat, you felt the flush deepen across your cheeks, eyes flitting between her and the display. “I haven’t read much by her, to be honest,” you admitted, but the growing ache in your core as the beautiful stranger stared at you told you that you should.

She hummed, tapping a finger thoughtfully against full lips as her long lashes flicked down, and then up to you. “Well, I will take this book,” she whispered, voice hardly above the music and patter of rain as she held the book for you to take. 

You held back a gasp as her fingers brushed yours, heart pounding as you silently took the book and led her towards the register. You looked towards the windows -  seeing the storm clear into a light drizzle - finding yourself sad to see her go. 

“This one is on me,” you nodded, urging the woman to put her card back into her wallet. She grinned gratefully at you, her own smile faltering slightly as she noticed the clear skies. 

“Thank you,” she muttered, looking at your name tag before adding your name - your toes curling at how it sounded from her lips. She dug into her bag, pulling out a card that she handed to you.

“I’ll make you a deal. You read the Sellyn Drake novel, and I’ll give you a free private class.” Your breath caught as her silvery gaze tracked you up and down. 

You held the card tight in your hand, as though it might disappear should you let go. “Thank you,” you glanced down at the paper, “Nesta.” 

With that, Nesta gave you a wink, striding out the door into the rain, leaving you desperate to see her again.

[notexactlyrocketscience]

Love, Theoretically by Ali Hazelwood: a critically kind review from a femme acespec physicist <3

> scroll to the next section for my review on the physics academia content in this book!

First, a quick romance novel review!

spoiler: it wasn’t my favorite but I gave it a ⭐️⭐️⭐️.75 because being a writer has made me a generally more appreciative reader + I am so starved of woman in physics rep.

the good

It just felt good to read about a woman physicist, who are still incredibly underrepresented in fiction, especially as protagonists. (I’ll go off about that in a minute.)

The romance is so swoony with shoujo manga vibes, I haven’t read straight M/F adult romance novels in a while and I just loved the flutteriness of it.

A couple of chapters were so soft with excellent pillowtalk. There was something about the ambience of the snow, the hypnotic sadness of failure, the prescence of a comforting person.

I enjoyed identifying the relatable parts about physics academia. Hazelwood clearly did a lot of research, and I have to say I was pleasantly surprised. It definitely kept me reading!

the bad

The academia issues are so over-simplified it’s almost juvenile. For an adult novel, even one marketed as a romcom, I expect more nuance, more explanations, more explicit lingering in tight positions.

And then the romance tries to be complex (and has a lot of potential!) but not a lot of conflict really happens.

A fictional physics fued between theorists and experimentalists is a really fun (and actually not far off) concept, but I would have expected some things to be the other way around. (More on that later!)

Okay this is personal but the main couple both have terrible taste in movies. Twilight vs white male rage movies??? There is no lesser evil here

Elsie’s hardships aren’t put in a very serious light. Her diabetes and lack of access to health insurance is used as a plot device to engineer romantic momentum between the characters and/or comic relief.

Just overall, the book tried so hard to remain “light” that I think it fails to garner depth. Because adult lives really aren’t that light all the time, and a book can bring relaxation and joy whilst including real worldly negative experiences.

There were aroace and sapphic side characters, but I wanted so bad for Elsie to be demisexual. It's set up so perfectly only for it to be averted—As a demisexual person myself, Elsie’s feelings about attraction felt acutely familiar to me, and every other reader I've spoken to has agreed that the book took a dissapointing and unexpected turn. I understand Hazelwood may not feel equipped to write queer protagonists but if I were her editor, I would have flagged that and recommended she make it canon. It would have added so much more context and dimension to Elsie, and would’ve put hetero demisexuals on the map. </3

Following up on the above: The smut tries so hard to be meaningful but it ... really is icky, stereotypical, unrealistic allocishetero stuff. Think: the shy inexperienced girl vs the man who knows exactly how to advise her. The characters try to subvert the trope by calling it out, but it feels performative because all is forgotten in the next second. The PiV sex is weirdly conventionally idealistic considering the pairing’s size difference. I’m picky about smut but also forgiving when I do like the dynamic. I just didn’t here.

Following up once again: I was ready to ignore all the repetitive comments about how sexy Jack’s height and muscles were, because sure, I guess Elsie has a type. But the sex scenes solidified the redundancy of it all. I've read this same dynamic in countless smutty heteronormative M/F paperbacks. And I have also been made aware by every Hazelwood reader that all her books focus on this kind of physical build pairing. I just want more diversity, you know?

IDK, I just wanted more physics in here than complaining about teaching, glossed over toxic mentors, and using some quirky physics term in every other sentence. (More on that below!)

I just wanted ... more? It’s not an extremely short novel, but both the plot and the character development fell flat. The ups and downs were too fast and easy, and the placement felt off. I finished the book and wondered, “That’s it? That’s all that happened?” It just wasn’t fulfilling. The side characters aren't expanded upon, and don’t get enough pagetime. My other romance reads this year were Bellefleur's The Fiancee Farce and Mcquiston’s One Last Stop. In both of those novels, the drama was fleshed out with so much care and detail. In comparison, Love, Theoretically may mention similar social difficulties in passing, but failed to really, really show us.

Overall ... the novel was fun for being about physicists but I really don’t see myself picking up another Hazelwood book, especially considering this isn’t even a debut novel. The conventional white steminist vibe and the particular allocishetero M/F dynamic just isn’t my thing.

But perhaps a reader wanting more of a novel and its characters is a good problem to have. Never say never, I guess! I look forward to keeping tabs on what Hazelwood publishes in the future!

Now, onto the physics!

First, most physicists, as good scientists, understand that theory and experimentation are fundamentally linked. It’s true that we each are often biased towards our own methods of research, but it is quite a stretch to imagine full professors so blatantly feud against others solely because of theory vs experimentation. Regardless, I was happy to suspend my disbelief for the sake of the plot that was framed in a genre-specific, lighthearted, humorous way.

Secondly, both theory and experimentation have sources of funding that are motivated in different ways, and Hazelwood's decision to have the theorists struggle with funding cuts due to declining interest in pop culture/the general public is actually quite credible. Experimentation garners a lot more interest from the application and engineering end of society, parts that are easily fueled by capitalism.

However, I think experimentalists in general are far less likely to be mean to theorists than the reverse scenario. Dr Fatima Abdurrahman has a great video essay about that called on her YouTube channel called “Quantum Physics, Feminism, and Objective Reality: What Physicists Don’t Want You to Know About Quantum Mechanics.” Dr Fatima outlines how old white men in physics have maintained this image of unwavering scientific objectivity in the name of rigor, despite studying a field that fundamentally is barely fathomable for humans. In simpler terms: Men, even in theory, pretend to be better, smarter, and more valid as physicists despite being in an infamously iffy field. And I would have liked to see that represented. It was just really hard for me to buy narcissistic grad students mansplaining Elsie about her field, and Elsie’s righteous feminine rage, when the field in question is … physics theory? It just didn’t make sense to me, when all of my personal experiences point to the opposite.

But every cloud has a silver lining, and having a woman theorist in a physics field that’s less popsci-oriented is actually … really cool. And having her love interest be a man in experimentation … sort of subverts gender roles and conventional media expectations.

Let me explain. The reality is that when women are represented in STEM, media prefers to put them in biology, like a nurse to a doctor, a people-oriented nurturer, a mere sidekick to the real “objective” scientist—often a mathematician or an astrophysicist who is always a man. And when women are placed in physics, they are automatically assigned to observational astronomy, which is dismissed as passive and easy. (This is wildly untrue—though styles of research in astronomy has interestingly allowed a somewhat more diverse array of researchers in history. Even today, you’ll see a higher frequency of women and queer people in every astronomy department.)

I think my ideal version of this novel would be retaining Elsie in theory, while also making theorists the overall bad guys in the feud. I would love to have her talk about the unique sexism she faces as a theorist. I would kill for a scene in which Jack gets gobsmacked by how fucking good at math she really is, compared to him (instead of, like, only making fun of it like it’s easy). I would love to read about her getting a tour of his lab, and just more physics content. But maybe I’m the only one saying that, because I’m a physicist. Maybe Hazelwood simplified it all to keep the book appealing to the general masses.

Still, it all read more like a girlpower!!! chant rather than a real commitment to represent a woman in STEM. I savored every moment Elsie or George would go off about physics. I loved Elsie’s conversations with Olive, a different STEM academic. (Monica was more complicated and actually quite interesting, and I wish we could have seen more of her. Heck, I wish we had actually been given any tangible info about Jack’s mom, even.) But I genuinely felt these instances were rare. Elsie referred to being a physicist a lot (and frankly, her mind is more physics-y than any IRL physicist considering the sheer number of physics-inspired figures of speech she uses … but I excused that as silly comic relief, a quirk in Hazelwood’s writing style). But she didn’t tangibly do physics on page. It was disappointing, considering women characters in STEM is what Hazelwood is known for.

And there are physicists who love teaching—even physicists who solely want to teach. Physicists who do pedagogy research. I know the book was mainly trying to criticise the adjunctification and dismissal of physics higher education, and it’s actually quite accurate in representing that most physicists in academia would prefer not to teach. But the excecution also ends up erasing physicists who aren’t in academia just for research. And I say this especially because the validity of teaching physicists as physicists is dismissed in real life. It’s used as justification to further force all physics academics to try to juggle between both research and teaching, whether they want to or not.

Which leads us to bad mentors. I’ve had a bunch of those. As Olive pointed out in an excellent quote, “Academia is so hierarchical, you know? There are all these people who have power over you, who are supposed to guide you and help you become the best possible scientist, but . . . sometimes they don’t know what’s best. Sometimes they don’t care. Sometimes they have their own agenda. […] Sometimes they’re total shitbuckets who deserve to step on a pitchfork and die.” And the thing is, the novel really doesn’t show us any of that (perhaps other than in Monica). We don’t fully get to know what happened to Jack’s mom, or Olive. We are not shown what Dr L’s agenda really was. Their final confrontation was so quick, when in reality shitty mentors are often sticky and entwined with your work, hard to cut off and scarier to talk back to even after you’ve finally realized they’re toxic.

Which isn’t to say the novel is just inadequate about everything. It’s correct in how goofy physics faculty are, and how white man-dominated the field is, how students try to mansplain women profs, how theorists madly work on their computers (as an experimentalist, I could never understand), how publishing is finicky (to put it kindly), and how tenured faculty fail to understand the reality of the job market in academia today. There are certain parts (like the quote above!) where I felt incredibly seen as part of a minoritized identity group in STEM academia. It’s rare to have a book written from this PoV, and as a first I think this novel will always be special for me!

If you’re interested in reading about more fictional women physicists, I would highly recommend skimming through this list I made on GoodReads (and feel free to add more!).

And if you’d like to support memoirs and science communication books by IRL women physicists, then look to further than this other list I’ve also made. (We’re actually currently seeing a boom in these which is inanely exciting to me, so again, contributions are always welcome!)

[presidenthades]

I saw the earlier post about beauty and how the girls are a bit like and Im wondering what are their favorite hobbies or likes and dislikes. If you have the time can you also expand on the Targbros (I really like that name more than Targtowers or Green Princelings by the way)

Jace does a lot of typical court lady activities, like embroidery and socializing at garden parties, but it isn’t something she’s especially passionate about. What she really enjoys is reading, and she has a diverse taste from old historical texts to smutty romance novels. She also enjoys correspondence, i.e. being pen pals, and part of her genuinely finds fulfillment in participating in government. She likes going for walks and flying on Vermax, but otherwise she isn’t interested in physically exerting activities or anything deemed unladylike.

Luce’s big hobby is knitting, which she learned from the nursemaid Nelly. It’s a good activity for multitasking since she can chat with other people while doing it, and she thinks it has more utility than embroidery. (If her future husband wants to read aloud to her while she’s knitting, that’d be nice too 👀.) She also likes sums/math, because numbers are straightforward. Unlike Jace, she loves running around, climbing trees, exploring nature, etc. Luce dislikes activities that require her to sit in place and be quiet/focus on one thing.

Joff is a precious weirdo 🖤. I’m going to mention in Chapter 5 of Compromise that she has a Myrish near-eye (AKA microscope), and she likes to study things under it. That’s why she’s constantly collecting samples like moldy bread. And of course she’s very interested in sorcery, witchcraft, and the like, so she spends a good bit of time reading and experimenting with that. The magic experiments are unsuccessful more often than not. She also has an amateur interest in herbalism, medicine, and anatomy. She tends to shun activities that she thinks aren’t “useful,” so she knows how to sew but hates embroidery, for example.

Aegon, as we’ve seen in The Golds, is artsy when he’s allowed to be. Singing, playing the lute, drawing (with Jace as his muse obviously). If he’s discouraged or uninspired (like in the beginning of Lavender), he falls back on frat habits, like drinking and partying. Like Luce, he enjoys running around and exploring, but he tends to do it in a more urban setting. I guess detective work counts as a hobby? He’d probably be a decent actor if he wanted to try it out. And again, like Luce (I feel like these two have some hyperactivity going on), he dislikes being forced to quietly sit in one place.

Aemond! ‘Tis he who studies history and philosophy, ‘tis he who studies the blade, etc. Studying, training, and dragon riding are his canon activities, and he does them here too. He’s basically the medieval equivalent of someone who goes to work, goes to the gym, and goes to sleep. But he also picks up on the activities of people around him, e.g. exploring caves on the beach with Luce, following Aegon around the city. He disapproves of “wastrel” activities like drinking and whoring.

Daeron does typical prince and squire activities, like studying and training, but he’s more social than Aemond. When he’s older, he’ll probably be invited by lots of lords to go hunting, hawking, riding, etc. But of course his FAVORITE thing to do is whatever Joff tells him 😂. Because he spends so much time with Joff, he knows a lot more about witchy subjects than he would have picked up on his own. But so far I’ve made him a bit squeamish, like when he gets sick watching Daemon torture the Tyroshi, so he’s not especially fond of everything Joff does.

[snotsloth]

August Reading Log

My August was full of political machinations, capricious gods, trauma recovery, and outrageous amounts of slow-burn mutual pining, yes even in the smutty books. I finished seven books this month and DNFed one. Overall, I had a great time and I’m excited to continue several of the series that I started. 

First off, I finished Godkiller by Hannah Kanner. This is book one of The Fallen Gods series and it was a fun fantasy adventure with good characters and an interesting world. Kissin, one of the main characters has very strong Geralt from The Witcher vibes, and she, along with Skedi, a minor god of white lies were my two favorite characters. It was quite short for an adult fantasy, so in some ways, it felt more like a teaser than a full novel, but it still packed in some cool world-building details and set up a larger quest for our protagonists along with a mystery to solve. So I’m invested enough to keep reading the series. I’ve already purchased the second book, Sunbringer.

Meanwhile, I listened to The Obelisk Gate and The Stone Sky, written by N. K. Jemisin and narrated by Robin Miles. These are the second and third books in The Broken Earth trilogy that started with The Fifth Season. I had previously listened to the first few chapters of The Obelisk Gate but then lost steam and set it aside. This time I was determined to finish the whole series and god, it was so worth it. 

Some people will tell you that The Fifth Season can function as a standalone and while they are technically correct, the first book is just the tip of the iceberg. You don’t understand even half of what is actually going on until you are at least a few chapters into The Obelisk Gate, and most of the real answers and resolutions don’t come until The Stone Sky. This series as a whole is a masterpiece of narrative structure, world-building, and character-building. It is so worth the effort it takes to finish all three books. 

After Godkiller and The Obelisk Gate, I was in the mood for something more romantic, so I picked up A Strange and Stubborn Endurance by Foz Meadows. This is one of the most beautiful love stories I have ever read. Val is possibly the most sympathetic, multi-dimensional, nuanced depiction of a sexual assault victim I’ve ever seen. And it’s within a larger story about slowly becoming a happier, healthier, kinder, and braver version of yourself when you are suddenly removed from a hostile environment and placed in one where you can thrive in the open. I think one of my favorite quotes from Val sums it up really well, “I have lived a cramped life, it seems. So shy of having my greatest indiscretion discovered that I seldom dared indulge in the simpler ones.” 

Moving directly from such a tender love story to a filthy monsterfucker romance might seem unhinged. But the heart wants what the heart wants and I wanted A Bone in His Teeth by Kellen Graves. I went in expecting eerie atmospheric coastal settings, a smattering of the kind of delicious body horror only non-cis people seem able to write, and lots and lots of freaky genderfucker monster smut, and boy howdy this book delivered on all that, and then some. What I was not expecting was a surprisingly tender love story about two people who could never quite fit right into the unjust systems they were born into and chose to burn it all down for the chance of finding a way to fit all their jagged, broken edges together. Alba is my favorite protagonist of any book I’ve read this year, and Eridanys is a literal force of nature with two dicks and a thirst for human flesh in more ways than one. This is Graves’ best book yet and I cannot wait to read what they publish next. 

Riding the high of several delightful books in a row, I started Silver Under Nightfall by Rin Chupeco with confidence that I had another banger on my hands. With vampires, body horror, a gloomy atmosphere, and a poly romance, this book had a lot of elements that I expected to love. However, the clunky prose, sloppy world-building, and meandering plot so drastically reduced my enjoyment of the book that I abandoned my read at 70%. 

Needing a palette cleanser after that, I turned to a guaranteed hit and picked up A Restless Truth by Freya Marske. And Marske did not miss! This is the sequel to A Marvelous Light which I read earlier this year and loved, so I was excited to pick it up. Marske is a master of character-driven smut, a.k.a. Sex scenes that serve a purpose to the story and reveal aspects of the characters we would not otherwise know. The setting and core murder mystery were also excellent and kept the plot moving at a decent clip. Maude had been one of my favorite side characters from the first book, so having her as one of the main characters really worked for me. Her love interest, Violet was charismatic and brought her own interesting baggage both to the plot and to her romance with Maude.  On the craft level, Marske is one of my favorite authors working today. Her prose is so bright and evocative in both its emotional and physical details. Her settings are lush and full of historical easter eggs. And her characters breathe with multi-dimensional life. I have one book left in The Last Binding series and I will probably devour it this month, seeing as it just arrived in the mail this week.

My final read of the month didn’t quite measure up to A Restless Truth, but I still had a fun time with Winter’s Orbit by Everina Maxwell. This was another arranged marriage romance set against a backdrop of courtly intrigue, espionage, and a fantastical setting, except this time it was a space opera instead of a historical fantasy. I thought Maxwell struck a good balance between romance elements and space opera elements. The settings were appropriately grand and gorgeous in scale and the political web was an effective tangle of different conflicting interests with no clear immediate solution. However, I felt that the two main characters lacked dimension and uniqueness. I fear part of the problem was that I had so recently read A Strange and Stubborn Endurance, and Winter’s Orbit just could not stand up to the inevitable comparison. Still, it was an easy, entertaining read that kept me engaged while stuck in bed on a sick day. Maxwell has a second book set in this universe and I think I will probably pick it up at some point.

Overall, it was a great reading month with only one dud. For September, I have a few books I know that I want to get through. While I don’t keep a strict order to my TBR, I know I want to finish The Jasmine Throne by Tasha Suri for my local book club (I’m about ⅓ of the way through at the moment). I am also still listening to A Memory Called Empire by Arkady Martine, which is really starting to pick up in the second half. One of my most anticipated reads of the year, Reclaimed by Seth Haddon arrived in the mail this week, along with the conclusion to The Last Binding trilogy, A Power Unbound by Freya Marske. So, while I’m not certain of what I’ll finish this month, I have a few suspicions of what I will gravitate towards. 

Hope you all had as good of a reading month as I did. Let me know what your best book of the month was and what you thought of any of the books I read this month. If you pick up any of the books I recommended, please let me know your thoughts. I’m especially excited to talk to anyone else who reads A Bone In His Teeth. It was such a unique read!

[poisindonottouch]

Queer reads: K.J. Charles

As we leave fantasy, I bring you the last category of my recommendations: smutty smutty smut. 

Okay, these are romance novels, but in my reading of romance novels, I’ve discovered that I thoroughly enjoy the spicier end of the spectrum. The smuttier the better. 

So, for day 22, I bring you my favorite romance author KJ Charles. 

I’m putting this under a cut, because it’s going to be long. 

KJ Charles has written loads of books, but I’ve narrowed it down to my favorite 9. 

I’ll take these by series. 

First off, I give you the Will Darling Adventures. These books take place in 1920s London (and surrounding environs.) They are post WWI. Will Darling served in the war, came home to no one, and ended up inheriting a book shop. He’s gruff, manly, and really a giant cinnamon roll. Kim did not serve in the war (it’s a whole thing), and he’s anything but a manly cinnamon roll. He’s sharp and devious and manipulative. And of course, they fall in loooove. This trilogy follows the same pairing over three books, and it’s nice to see how KJC handles the deepening of their relationship from HFN to HEA. (That’s happily for now & happily ever after.) 

The next two books, Proper English and Think of England, are actually in the same world as the Will Darling books, and you’ll see a cameo or two in the later trilogy. Proper English, set in 1902, tells the story of Pat and Fen meeting at a house party that involves a murder mystery and some sexy times. After all, if a murderer is on the loose, you can’t sleep alone, right? Think of England, set in 1904, tells the story of Archie and Daniel, at a different house party. Archie is there to investigate some shady business, but he’s a straightforward kind of man, and he is woefully out of his depth. Luckily, Daniel is there. 

Any Old Diamonds and An Unnatural Vice are set in the same world, about 20 years apart. They aren’t the only books in their series, but they are my favorite of each. Any Old Diamonds follows Alec and Jerry as Alec hires Jerry to steal some jewels. There’s a great twist to this one, and I love Alec and Jerry. I want more of them. An Unnatural Vice is book two of the Sins of the City trilogy, but Justin Lazarus is the very best character ever, and Nathaniel is good for him. I recommend the all the books in both series, but these two are my favorite in the bunches. 

Band Sinister is a stand alone novel, telling the story of Phillip and Guy, who have some bad history between their families, but unforeseen circumstances bring them together, and chemistry does the rest. I would love to read a book series about every side character in this book, but alas. I’ll keep reading fanfic instead. 

Which brings us to The Secret Lives of Country Gentlemen, the most recent book out by KJC. It’s the first of a duology, and I’m super excited for the next one to come out in September. It’s marked on my calendar in my kitchen. This is a dual pov book switching between Garath, who recently inherited his late fathers title, home, and secrets, and Joss, the boss of the local smuggler family. This is a lovers to enemies to lovers book, and I love it. Really, one of KJCs best. 

(Ack! I missed Spectered Isle, which is also fantastic. I really enjoy the relationship in this one, and I’d happily read a bunch of books set in this world, but alas, I think this series is over. Spectered Isle follows after The Casebooks of Simon Feximal (also good. Think smutty, magical Sherlock Holmes.) Like the Will Darling books, Spectered Isle takes place post the Great War, and everyone in the novel is scarred from it. It’s not a shared universe though, because this one has magic, and the Will Darling books are not fantasy, but similar time frame.)

[danikamariewrites]

hi ! i’m the anon who requested the feysand smut & it was soooo good ! i loved every single moment of it, it was just *chef’s kiss* 💜🤌🏻

i have a new idea for you. could you possibly do something along the lines of rhys or feyre, possibly both becoming jealous of reader’s fictional crush?

thank you, and ily ! 🫶🏻

Better Than Books

Feysand x f!reader

A/n: Aahhh hi anon! That makes me so happy and thank you for requesting again 💜

Warnings: suggestive

If there was one thing Rhys loved it was seeing you and Feyre spending time together. Watching you two snuggled up on the couch, snacking, giggling, and reading always brought a big smile to his face.

Lately Rhys realized you had been taking book recommendations from Nesta. You had usually stuck to light romance books so he was surprised to see you reading a rather smutty novel one day. Rhys had caught you and Feyre reading said smutty books together, giggling like school girls to each other over steamy scenes.

When Rhys would ask you two what you were fawning over you’d quickly shut the book. Both saying nothing and laughing. This bothered Rhys. Not in a bad way, more like he wanted to know so he could bring your and Feyre’s sexual fantasies to life. And maybe he was a little jealous of these so called “book boyfriends” you two and the Valkyries talked about.

One day, on his break, Rhys heard you and Feyre laughing in the living room. He stopped just outside the doorway so you wouldn’t see him. He knew you were talking about one of your smutty books again. “You think Rhys would do this to us?” You asked, eliciting a giggle from both of you.

“And what, exactly, would Rhys do?” He asked, leaning casually against the door frame. You two freeze, looking to each other then to Rhys, your faces looking like you had been caught doing something you shouldn’t have been. “Err, nothing.” Feyre said, a fierce blush appears on both your cheeks. Rhys crossed his arms and huffed.

“Aww,” Feyre coos at him, padding across the room to his rigid frame. You follow her and both wrapped your arms around him. “Our poor Illyrian baby. Don’t be mad.” “Yeah Rhysie. You know we love you.” You added.

The next day Rhys was still a little peeved that you and Feyre wouldn’t tell him what you were reading about. This did not go unnoticed by his brothers. When Rhys snapped his second pen from how tense he was Cassian finally asked him what was wrong. “It’s those stupid smutty books Nesta told them about. Usually Feyre and y/n talk to me about sexual stuff so I’m just confused as to why they won’t talk to me about this.”

Cassian and Azriel told him not to force it with you two. They took slow with with Nesta and Gwyn when they ran into the same problem. “I told Az this and now I’m going to tell you. Start. Reading. The. Books. You don’t have to read the whole thing, but read the good stuff. Then one night just…do it. Then talk about it.” Az rolled his eyes but nodded in agreement.

Rhys takes their advice and starts reading the books for the spicy parts. He would never admit it to his brothers, but he found some of them very entertaining. He got invested in a series or two. After a month of reading through your collection Rhys was confident he’d read your and Feyre’s favorite parts.

He decided he was ready to make his move. You and Feyre were sitting in bed as Rhys was finishing up his skin care in the bathroom. As he stared at you two through the door way a loving smile played at his lips. Part of him felt that reading your books and then acting them out with you before discussing it was an invasion of your privacy.

Rhys decided to completely ignore Cassian’s advice and do things his way. Padding over to the bed, he sunk down on the soft mattress in his usual spot. Rhys had decided to just wear his boxers to bed since he was going to be taking them off anyway. He always slept naked while you and Feyre favored the occasional matching sleep set.

Feyre looks at Rhys, noticing his tense shoulders. “Rhys, is something wrong?” Concern laced her tone, making your head snap toward him. “Err…” he mumbled and scratched the back of his neck. Why couldn’t he get his words out? Your look matches Feyre’s now, “You can tell us. No judgement, promise.”

He hangs his head, staring at his hands in his lap. “I’ve been reading your books lately.” As he looked up he saw the shocked smirks on your faces. “I was a little jealous and I had heard you talking about them so many times. I felt a little left out and wanted to see what you were interested in.”

You and Feyre look at each other then turn back to Rhys with faux pouts. “Aww baby. I’m sorry we made you feel left out.” You open your arms to him and he wraps himself up in you. Feyre rubs his back soothingly. “That’s honestly kind of sweet Rhys.” His head pearks up, “Really?” “Yeah.” You say in unison.

“Most males wouldn’t care about these things, but you cared enough to read them.” You say, pulling away from him slightly to cup his jaw as Feyre runs her fingers through his short inky hair. Your smirk turns mischievous as you look to Feyre, calling out for her in your mind. “Yes lovely?” “He read them for us, should we finally ask him?” “You read my mind.”

Feyre takes Rhys’ face in her hands, lifting him to face her. “Do you want to try some of the stuff you’ve read about Rhysie?” His eyes went wide along with the grin on his face as he nods eagerly. Rhys tackles you and Feyre to the bed kissing your faces, “You two are in for a very, very long night my loves.”

tags: @nyotamalfoy @auggiesolovey @bubybubsters @baybay123455 @msiecrane @aroseinvelaris @twsssmlmaa

[vivilove-jonsa]

I know you and Amymel are both publishing your OG stuff now. How is that going for you both? And do you have any tips for someone who might want to do that sort of thing?

Thanks so much for the ask, Anon. I mentioned it to @amymel86 and, while we're keeping our pen names relatively private, we truly appreciate you checking in with us :)

How's it going? It's going great! We're both thrilled to making money off writing smutty romance 🤣. To quote Amy, 'Sex sells, girlies.' But I'll add that the swoony, romantic, buttery goodness is what keeps readers coming back for more.

Tips? You got it! I'm going to put them under the cut for those who are interested but I'll preface this with the following - we are writing romance novels (primarily as eBooks) that we're self-publishing on Amazon. If you want to be the next Hemingway or Virginia Woolf, that's awesome but our route might not be your route...

Tips for self-publishing romance on the Zon and making BANK:

First off, research. Read, read, read a genre that interests you. What's killing it in the rankings? What's not? What are readers looking for?

Drill it down to a specific niche and find the tropes that work best with it. Unlike with fanfic, you will not make a killing as a newbie writer switching widely between genres and niches. Your Sweet and Clean Christian Western Romance might be fantastic but your fans won't be delighted if you follow it up with an Erotic Dark Mafia Romance. There is so much out there! Sports Romance, Regency, Paranormal, Small-Town, Billionaire, Bikers, Mountain Man... go find yourself a new book boyfriend. Choose the heat level you're comfortable with. There are readers for all levels.

But, find something that appeals to you and stick with it for the time being, learn the ins and outs but make sure it's something you can see yourself writing. Don't choose Reverse Harem or Shifter Romance simply because they're popular if you can't stand reading them. You're setting yourself up for failure that way.

Second, do a little light craft book reading. For romance, I highly recommend Romancing the Beat by Gwen Hayes and 7 Figure Fiction by T. Taylor as a starting point.

Join an indie author's discord group for important tips and stuff that you might wind up paying to learn from others. It's free and you can choose what's worth retaining and what's not. The one Amy lured me to last year is AMAZING and I've picked up so much information/resources that I never would've known about stumbling around on my own.

Pick a pen name. Do not write under your actual name. You do not want your grandma reading your book. Or maybe you do but you might not want your boss or ex or neighbor reading it. Make sure it's not a claimed pen name. Google it, check Amazon, etc.

Next one is the hard part... write a book. Dream up your story, write down those 'moments' that come to mind (you won't remember them all otherwise) and outline that sucker. Then, WRITE IT. Which sounds impossible but it's not. Most full-length romance novels fall between 60 to 85k words. There are soooooo many fanfics that are longer than that. Take a deep breath. It's doable.

The must-dos for your first book:

Think it up, write down what tropes you're looking at using, outline (at least a little) and write it. I made that sound so easy, didn't I?

2. Edit, edit, edit. You don't have to pay an editor or copywriter - I have not so far - but, for the love of God, don't release something riddled with typos or full of purple prose. Streamline it, make it page-turning goodness readers have a hard time putting down. Throw it in grammarly and spellcheck the bejesus out of it.

3. Format it using a free site like Reedsy or Kindle Create from Amazon's Kindle Direct Publishing (KDP). All that lovely spacing we enjoy doing on Ao3? That will not fly here. It's going to look like an actual book... because it is!

4. Make a cover or get one made. Look at what sells in your niche and copy it. You want to be an outlier? Wait until you're bringing in 50k a month to set the trends. Otherwise, you'll just be passed up. How much work it is can be niche dependent. Fantasy or Sci-Fi Romance might require a lot of talent to get the right look. Contemporary? Easy by comparison. GIMP or Photo Shop work great but there's a learning curve. Also, I recommend Deposit Photos or similar sites for photos/model shots. Don't steal photos off the internet for something you're selling. That will get you in hot water. Remember your cover is the first thing readers see and it needs to sell what you're offering.

5. Write the blurb. Some writers do this first but I am not one of them. It's HARD. However, I cannot stress how important this is to get someone to give your book a look, second only to the cover. It's 100 to 200 words to tell people why they absolutely have to read it! Don't do a summary of the book either. Feed them tropes, give it a hooky intro, draw them in like flies with honey.

6. Get ARCs (Advanced Reader Copy reviews) through a site like Booksprout or SM like Author Facebook groups. It'll get your book in front of eyes and it's lovely having a bit of feedback and some shiny 4 and 5 star reviews queued and ready when you publish.

7. PUBLISH IT. Flip that pancake as we say in the discord group I'm in. Serve it up, see who's biting and keep that griddle hot to make the next one. It will be even better.

And remember, this book will probably not be THE BOOK. And your first pen name will probably not be the one you retire on. It's okay. Every book will teach you something new about who you are as a writer. You'll grow, you'll get better. I'd rather publish a dozen books that are okay if I'm improving than talk about the ONE I'm going to write someday. It's totally worth giving it a whirl.

For more direct tips, feel free to send specific asks. I'm happy to help anytime :)

[ash-and-books]

Rating: 5/5

Book Blurb:

From Ashley Pines and Eden Emory comes a queer dark, smutty thriller set in world where the rich pay handsomely to watch the live-streaming event of the year. The desperate sign-up to play a game with life-changing rewards and life-ending consequences.

Cam

Legacy. A word I reckon I’d heard a hundred times more than my own name.

It’s what I am, who I am. The product of generations of greatness.

And now, I was the Weston’s last chance to score big inside the arena.

It should’ve been like shootin’ fish in a barrel. But the moment I saw her, winning didn’t mean a hill of beans.

Was the Lord testin’ me? Punishin’ me for questioning the Ranch?

Or was I looking down the barrel of a gun right at my future?

Ain’t no way I was leavin’ without her.

Aubrey

I came for one reason and one only.

To kill the person that made my life hell.

But when things don't go as planned and a certain thembo cowboy catches my eye, they are suddenly all I think think about.

All I want.

And for them, I'd do anything. Kill anyone. Even if they punish me for it.

Better yet, I hoped they'd punish me for it and I couldn't wait for everyone to watch.

This is the second book in a series of interconnected stand alone novels. While they can be read out of order, it is recommended to start from Hide n’ Seek. This is a dark book with many triggers, please see the TW on the authors' website before continuing

Review:

A deadly tournament filled with killers all looking to make a name for themselves, win money, and take home glory.... and in this year's tournament a vicious girl looking for revenge finds herself teaming up with the heir of a famous farming family who also happens to train the best killers ever... can they find a way to survive or will they kill each other to win it all. Cam is the heir to a famous farmer/killer family, all they wanted to do is complete their father's legacy, win the competition, and finally free themselves. Trained to be the best killer ever yet Cam has no desire to kill, in fact they'd like to avoid it if they could during the competition but then they meet Aubrey. Aubrey has worked hard to curate the perfect image, to get fans, to finally exact revenge against the girl who stole everything from her.... and the last thing she needs is to fall for a hot thembo cowboy. Aubrey's first instinct is to kill but something about Cam makes her want to be a bit vulnerable. This was such a fun read, it's got hunger games vibes but with modern day vicious romance and I LOVED EVERY SECOND OF IT, I can't wait to read the next book. If you like Jennifer's body, if you like unhinged romances with very obsessive killer lovers, give this one a go, it will be perfect for you.

Publication/Blog: Ash and Books (ash-and-books.tumblr.com)

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NIGHT SHIFT by ANNIE CROWN

Kendall Holiday spends her Fridays exactly where she wants to be: ensconced in a romance novel in an empty college library working the graveyard shift. The quiet of the library is dependable, and gives Kendall an excellent excuse for skipping out on the loud, raucous start to the weekend. Lost in the pages of her favorite love stories, Kendall blocks out the world―until Vincent Knight, the school’s star basketball player, turns up. Handsome, tall, and extremely popular, Vincent’s a standout on the court, but he’s out of his depth in the stacks: he’s got an urgent assignment due and doesn’t have a clue where to start. When his meet-cute with Kendall turns into a steamy make-out session, neither are quite prepared for what comes next. Opposites might attract in romance novels . . . but it takes a lot more truth than tropes to make it work in real life.

RATING :: 4.5 / 5

SPICE :: 4 / 5 🔥

Review under the cut! 🚨 Beware SPOILERS! 🚨

Please remember that these are only my opinions. Read the book yourself - your mileage may vary. 💜

🚨 TRIGGER WARNINGS - sex, alcohol, mild violence🚨

I've only recently gotten into romance, and I'm still sort of feeling my way around. I saw this book on Pinterest (I have no idea why my Pinterest suddenly started recommending me books, but so far, no complaints!) and the cover drew me in - and I'm so glad it did. At first, I felt a little awkward reading it (college is a distant memory for me, since I'm old), but the relatable characters and amusing plot pulled me in and didn't let me go.

Kendall Holliday, a college student, is working the night shift at the campus library - the best job ever. It's quiet, most students are either partying or asleep, and the vibes are immaculate for an antisocial bookworm like her. Plus, since there's barely any work to do, she has the whole night to read her spicy romances (the ones with the embarrassing covers) with zero fear that someone will see!

When Vincent Price walks in, arm in a sling, Kendall is shocked. He's the star of the basketball team - what is he doing here on a Friday night, especially when she knows for a fact that the basketball dormitory house is holding a huge party right now? He looks about as thrilled as a wet dormouse as he requests nineteenth-century poetry. He has an assignment due on Monday, and he knows nothing about the subject.

Kendall agrees to help him out, partly because it's her job as librarian, and partly because - come on. A chance to be alone with the hottest guy on campus, even though she knows nothing is going to happen between them? She'd be stupid not to. They head to the appropriate section, and she recommends one of her favorite poems. To her surprise and delight, he begins to read it out loud, and her attraction to him explodes.

Playful banter between them quickly becomes flirting, and flirting quickly becomes an intense make-out session - just like in her favorite smutty romance novels. As soon as it ends, she rushes back to the bathroom, mortified. When she returns to the main desk, he's gone - but he's left a note leaving her his email and a request for poetry tutoring.

Kendall can't stop fantasizing about him. Can't stop comparing him to her favorite romance heroes. Can't stop imagining what it would be like to live out a romance novel of her own, with him as her hero. But as the rest of the book plays out, she has to learn the hard way that real life is nothing like the books she loves so much.

Ugh, this book. The pacing is a little slow, but every paragraph is jam-packed with character development, or plot-driving moments, or problems to solve. It only takes place over a few weeks and with only a handful of settings, so I was perfectly happy to enjoy the deep-dive into the details. I wouldn't call it insta-love, but it's close. Both Vincent and Kendall are smitten with each other from moment one, and watching them navigate the rocky waters of college crushes was an absolute delight.

There are only a handful of characters, which is fine since it's a pretty small, contained story.

Kendall and her two roommates, Harper and Nina

Vincent, Jabari, and their unnamed teammates/roommates

A smattering of side characters

And every single character, even the ones that are mentioned in passing, are relatable and developed to an astonishing degree. Every named character gets their chance to shine. It genuinely feels like I'm on a college campus watching awkward young adults figure out how the world works. As the story progresses, we learn more and more about the characters in writing that feels totally natural.

If you like the miscommunication trope, you're going to love this book. Misunderstandings and poorly worded conversations show up constantly, and each one leads to problems that have to be solved - and not just between Vincent and Kendall.

This was a short, sweet romance. I read it in a couple of hours. Definitely a cozy little read for an afternoon. I recommend it highly, even for people who are hesitant on romance.

Thanks for reading my book review! Remember, this review is just my opinion. I (almost) always recommend you read the book yourself and see if you like it!

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