#this project has been going on for so so long
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Current state of the Charcuterie board debate, based on the tags and comments.
Whatever the result is, I will attempt to recreate it as a drawing!
#Charcuterie saga#Note that I can't see the results until the poll ends so I truly have only secondhand report to go off of#And my goudaness has it been extremely hilarious to read.#I am actually really excited to draw this community creation. I will bring these mice back for another update post + the final project.#Olive lovers: I am *so* sorry for letting you down. Olives were originally on the poll but I felt like it was getting too long.#I'll factor in the comments as votes in their own right. Cheese the results a bit if I have to.#Thank you all for voting so far! And thank you all for being patient while I was away!
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alphabet fluff w/ jason todd :)
affection: how affectionate are they? how do they show affection?
jason peter todd is soooooo affectionate. when he loves, he loves. he shows his affection through acts of service. growing up he gained praise by doing things so it’s ingrained in his brain to do things for someone. it’s obviously different when it comes to you because he does it out of love and not obligation. if you’re feeling sick, he’ll make you soup and bring it to you in bed. someone harrasses you in the street? suddenly they go missing!
body: what is their favorite feature of you?
your eyes. the eyes never lie, plus he knows how to read a person’s body given his job. the way you look at him like he hung the moon and stars never fails to calm his nerves.
comfort: how would they help you when you feel down?
as said before, acts of service. he will do everything and anything in his power to make you happy. if all you want is him to skip patrol and lay in bed for 48 hours straight, he’ll call someone to take his shift. (batfam takes his shifts willingly because they love you too and if you need jason then they’ll cover.) he’ll engulf you with open arms and open ears.
dreams: how do they picture their future with you?
i hc he has attachment issues, once you guys have a strong and solid bond, that’s it for him. he doesn’t know what the future holds and his occupation giving him tomorrow is a blessing in itself, so once he’s sure of you you are all he wants and needs. i don’t know if he would ever want to leave gotham given his passion to protect it but i think he would want a house, a solid place to go home to. reluctantly, he lets bruce guys help you guys build your dream house in the safest area possible.
equal: are they the dominant one in the relationship, or rather passive?
he needs someone who can support him as much as he supports you. he can’t have someone so dependant on him, his job does that enough. you’re his safe space, he wants to be able to come home and not talk or decompress alone without hurting your feelings. it’s a 50/50, until one of you needs to pull more weight so the other can breathe.
fight: would they be easy to forgive you? what are fights like?
it depends on how bad the fight is, sometimes you both have to sleep in separate rooms because of how stubborn you or both of you are, but tension never lasts more than a day. he’ll always forgive you though, always (unless you cheat on him or intentionally hurt him) because you’re his baby and he’s been through a lot so he refuses to lose you over things you guys can both fix. you have to have an open mind as well though! like stated before, it's a give and receive relationship, you need to want him as much as he wants you!
gifts: how do they feel about receiving/giving gifts?
he’s soooo shy, to know he’s being thought of? for you to give him something just because makes his heart beat so loud. i think because of his financial issues growing up, gifts are hard. he likes to save money and he does things to show you love with what he has (like skills), so to be given gifts makes him feel so full. you like to buy him wonder woman merchandise and he cherishes it. hell, you could give him a rock you painted and he’ll treat it like gold. it’s all because you gave it for him. you did something for him!
his love language may be acts of service (on top of physical touch), he still gives you gifts but things like just because flowers, or silly knick knacks that he saw you stare at too long (i love trinkets so that’s me projecting). there’s a cafe on the other side of town but you’re busy working? he’ll surprise you at work during your break with your treats. this man loves you!
honesty: do they have secrets that they hide or do they tell their s/o everything?
obviously he doesn’t go around telling everyone he’s red hood. so for a while he keeps it from you, being careful to keep you out of public eye so you aren’t a target. when your relationship becomes more serious then he’ll sit you down and confess. (i love the concept of his s/o already knowing because red hood always appears by them when they’re out in public. you’re alone waiting for the bus? oh look! red hood!) he’s very nervous to tell you because he does kill, he has done some bad things and he loves you very much (please don’t break his heart.)
he squishes you in a hug when you accept his true identity and gives you a device that allows you to contact him whenever you have an emergency.
(you had a feeling since he made sure your apartment was very secure early on into your relationship, he taught you some self defense. oh and don’t forget the knife you found behind your tv.)
insecurity: is there anything they’re insecure about in your relationship?
his scars. (me personally, i could never care about a person’s scars. it’s sad people think they’re ugly.) he has a really hard time coming clean about what his chest looks like and how it happened (i like the concept of him having an autopsy scar.) it takes a really long time for him to not only show you but allow you to come close to him in that state. you’re completely understanding and always respect his boundaries.
you reassure him that you love him for him and not his looks, but you remind him daily that he’s very handsome. coming back looking completely different does a lot to one’s perception of themself.
even when dating for a few years, you know better than to stare to long at his scars. it has nothing to do with him not trusting you, but mentally for him it’s hard to swallow. the first time you traced his scars and kissed them he cried because you touch him with such gentleness even though the scars are there because of pain.
jealousy: do they get jealous easily, how do they deal with it?
very jealous! not insecure but just possessive, you are his and his only. he’s very tall so no one tries anything with him around anyway and if they do then.. he’ll deal with them later!
you told him to always tell him how he feels but he makes it obvious when he pulls you in front of him to shield you from the world.
he knows when to hold back though, he knows you’re strong and capable, he just wants to protect you as much as he can.
kiss: what was your first kiss like?
like him, the absolute sweetest. it was on your second date, you mentioned how you loved to look at the stars but never went stargazing so he made his personal mission to do so.
he drove you to a secluded area on his bike, a blanket on the ground and two lanterns. he also packed a few drinks and snacks for you both to enjoy. as the sun set, the moon lit up the sky and the stars twinkled around it.
yes he is that boyfriend to look at you instead of the view because to him you are the universe.
it’s nearing 10pm and it starts to get cold, you gives you his jacket even though he told you it would be cold, and as he looks at you he starts to close the gap, “can i kiss you?” you answer by putting your hands on his face and meeting in the middle to a sweet kiss. you kiss until the crickets start to get too loud around you and he kisses you again before parting to go home.
love confession: how would they confess their feelings?
he confesses his feelings through acts so you have to be the one to actually say something. jason knew he liked you after your first date but he hesitates, he’s not afraid of being rejected (he is). he always walks you up to your door and waits for you to get inside before leaving, or pulls you towards the other side so he closest to the road. he confesses his love in the way he always picks you up from work, how tight he hugs you after a hard patrol. despite how rough his hands are, he holds your face softly when he kisses you. when you finally tell him how you feel he’s internally jumping with joy, he grabs your face again and smashes your lips together.
“i’ve wanted you for so long.” “well why didn’t you say something silly!” “i wasn’t sure!” “we’ll work on that together”
marriage: do they want to get married? how do they feel about it?
he doesn’t need a certificate to know you’re the one he wants to watch every sunset and sunrise with but if you want a wedding then he’ll help plan it with you. it’s not something that scares him, he just doesn’t think about it. having anything traditional and normal is a long shot for undercover heroes but for you he’ll try.
nightmare: what is their greatest fear in your relationship?
judgement, loss. losing you, in death or you not loving him, makes his blood run cold anytime the insecurity slips in his mind. he can get quite worked up if you’re reckless, he scolds you for not being aware of your surroundings or not having secure locks to your home.
he’s also terrified of judgment, he craves to be seen and loved wholly with no conditions.
obvious: how transparent are they with their feelings?
in the beginning of your relationship he’s pretty dodgy, he hides his feelings because he doesn’t want to be a burden and bother you. he’s used to having to do things alone, he knows he can. you have to remind him a lot that he’s not a bother and that you do what you do because you love him. you learn how to clean his wounds and sew for the nights when things hurt to much to do alone. it hurts your heart to know how often he’s had to bear things alone so you make sue he knows that with you around he’s never alone.
over time he’s more honest, he relies on you like a lifeline.
pet names: what kind of nicknames do they have for their s/o?
you’re his sweetheart!! his baby! the love of his life!! his honey!
he definitely likes you tease you though, calling you sugar, or pumpkin.
quality time: how do they spend time with you?
dates when he doesn’t have patrol that night, he’ll take you out for lunch or drive around the city. at night, when he’s off, gets off patrol early or just needs a breather, you both lay on the couch in the living room. you make him a warm cup of tea and let him lay in your lap as he reads, your hands in his hair, weaving through the soft strands. the tuft of white hair is your favorite, you like to twirl it in between your fingers. he enjoys the quiet with you, its comfortable and he can feel any pressure and tension leave his body as you caress his face.
if you like to binge shows or do little crafts he’ll join or you continue reading, making sure a part of him is touching you in any way. if you’re on the floor doing crafts, he’ll have his leg stretched out and touching your side, if you’re watching tv he’ll have you in his lap. sometimes you’ll both wake up on the couch or he’ll carry you in the room.
romance: how romantic are they? what do they do to make their s/o happy?
i like to think he’s a romantic, or tries to be. give him a break, he died at 15 and woke up years later. he’s getting the hang of life again so romance doesn’t come easily but from what he’s seen on tv and in books he tries! he holds your hand or puts an arm around your shoulder and brings you close when you guys are out in public, he opens every door for you and pulls out your chair. if you open your own door he closes it and reopens it lmfao.
you like to push his buttons a bit by opening your own door or pulling out his chair. it’s cute how he huffs and pouts.
support: how do they show support to their s/o?
he will cheer you on and support you on any goal you have! he gives advice, asks the batfam (not bruce lmao) if they know how to help or achieve such a goal. he helps you out if you need money even though you tell him not to, he does anyway.
thrill: do they like routine or prefer trying new things every so often?
with his job, i think some kind of routine would be good for him. he doesn’t have to be alert or left wondering, he comes home and you’re home as you said you would be, you’re in the shower after getting off of work and you’ve amazingly prepared dinner.
he wakes up and you tug him to sleep in longer, sometimes you exercise with him but he doesn’t force you to of course.
i think he would really need stability.
understanding: how do they show they’re understanding of their s/o’s needs?
like stated before, he shows his understanding in the little things he does, he always gets them what they want or need even if his partner mentions it one time. if you want some space he’ll give you that but not without making sure you stay safe and take care of yourself!
he cooks for you both to make sure you eat! he needs to stay fit and healthy and with you in his life he makes sure you stay healthy too!
value: how important are you/is your relationship to them?
your relationship is the most important thing to him. he could be in the middle of a shootout and if you call him he’ll quickly reply, “i’ll call you back in 15, okay sweetness? yes dear i’ll be safe. i love you most.”
weird: any quirks?
sometimes his eyes glow green 😁
xoxo: favorite place to kiss? how do they hug you?
he loves to kiss the pulse point on your wrist and neck, it’s his reminder that you’re here with him. it grounds him and he loves the feeling of your heart beating faster when he’s near.
especially when you guys are sleeping, he kisses your neck a lot, he loves how soft the skin is. (you will in fact wake up with marks on your neck, bites and or bruises.)
he likes to hug you and your your head to his chest or blanket around you from behind. if you’re cooking he drapes himself over you and will help you or just poke and tickle you until you shoo him away which causes him to whine, “you hate me, my girlfriend hates me.”
yearning: how do they handle missing you?
not well! he makes it everyone’s problem, the other robins always texts you pictures of him brooding around the manor because he has to be away from you. you have an entire album and collection of him sadly pushing his food away like a child or sprawling on the couch.
his ears turn all red when you show him the pictures and he claims it’s photoshop until you pull up the video dick sent you of jason talking about how much he misses your cooking and the blankets you always had on the couch.
he gets irritated at not seeing you, being a little more brutal when against villains, sadly wrapping his hands in bandages because you usually do it for him. he ignores the glares damian and tim give him for being a sap.
zzz: what are they like to sleep with? are they the big spoon or little?
he runs cold surprisingly, but you enjoy it. you fall asleep very fast because of how refreshing it is to lay on a cool and soft surface. you never have to kick the blanket off at night because of him.
he is the little spoon! he loves to be held and cradled! his favorite sound is your heartbeat, he knocks out instantly, nightmares don’t happen when he’s wrapped in your arms. of course there are nights when you can’t escape his hold but you like it that way anyway.
© ihrthoney. reblogs & feedback are greatly appreciated𑁤
#ᝰ honeywrites#jason todd#dc jason todd#jason peter todd#jason todd x reader#jason todd x you#jason todd fluff#jason todd x y/n#jason todd x fem!reader#robin number 2#dc robin#red hood#red hood x reader#red hood x you#red hood x y/n#red hood x fem!reader#red hood fluff
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— ★ 𝐌𝐎𝐑𝐍𝐈𝐍𝐆 𝐇𝐄𝐀𝐓
𝐬𝐲𝐧𝐨𝐩𝐬𝐢𝐬: when being assigned a joint research project with a very attractive haravatat student proves to be more distracting than you ever anticipated
𝐜𝐨𝐧𝐭𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐬: akademiya!student alhaitham x akademiya!student reader, afab!reader, established relationship (early stages), secret relationship, sex in the desert, flirting, playful banter, casual nudity, no preparation, rough fucking, multiple positions, creampie, not proofread. obv they are adults. 2.1k wc MDNI. 18+ ONLY. | masterlist
reblogs and interactions are always appreciated ˚ʚ♡ɞ˚
The heat had already taken hold of you this morning.
Even before you opened your eyes, the desert sun had crept into the makeshift tent, meandered across your skin, and clung to the bedding beneath you. Outside, you could hear the wind humming in a lulling rhythm but the air inside was still heavy—scented faintly of canvas, sand, and Alhaitham.
Officially, this trip was sanctioned by the Akademiya to catalog ruins and decipher inscriptions long buried in the dunes. Your joint project culminated in months of preparation but between your academic pursuits, you and Alhaitham fell into the trap of proximity, lured by the temptation of wandering eyes and coy smiles exchanged over the rim of coffee cups.
Long nights spent under oil lamps became less about studying and more about the rush it gave you when your knees brushed beneath low tables. It was nearly impossible to concentrate on reading when Alhaitham sat so close that his scent clouded you entirely.
Wandering eyes turned to coy smiles turned to lingering touches turned to… well.
Such distractions would be frowned upon by the Akademiya, yes, but how could you resist when Alhaitham treated you like you were the most fascinating discovery he had ever encountered? You both agreed on discretion to save yourself from the mortification of other scholars and seniors. They didn’t need to know about his sweet confession and the many other things you both got up to when nothing but the stars could witness you.
So unofficially—this trip was the perfect excuse to stay tangled together despite the sweltering heat.
You blinked against the wedge of sunlight, rolling over to a very bare Alhaitham sprawled beside you, one arm tucked lazily behind his head, the other resting just centimetres from your waist.
“Morning,” his voice was thick with sleep but when your eyes met, you saw that his expression was immensely not.
“What’s got you so focused?” you said groggily, propping yourself on your elbow as you faced him. “Already thinking about all the hard work waiting for us today?”
Your clothes were still discarded from the night before, sitting in a crumpled heap near the corner of your bedroll. Perhaps the events of last night were why he was looking at you with that slanted smile.
“Do you always think about work the moment you open your eyes?” he replied, tracing small circles on you.
“Someone has to keep us on task,” you shot back, raising a brow.
“I didn’t realise I was sharing a tent with a Matra.”
Of the 20 languages he knew, the same mouth rendered him incapable of completing this project in a timely manner—what should have been done two days ago was instead spent with his tongue on your skin.
Not that you had many complaints.
“Mm,” he added. “And here I thought mornings were for recharging, not nagging.”
“For someone who implores efficiency in all things,” you said, poking his nose, “You spend a suspicious amount of time lying around. Observing me isn’t going to help your thesis.”
“Observing you is a worthwhile distraction actually,” his hand began to slip onto the bare curve of your hip, “In fact, I think you’re my most compelling subject.”
“I would pay you sacks of mora to include that in your report,” you retorted, clicking your tongue with false annoyance, but you were too focused on something else to actually care.
“I’ll pass,” he tipped his chin at you, “Instead of mora, another thorough exploration should suffice.”
“You’re avoiding work.”
“I prefer to think of it as redefining priorities.”
“Oh? And what’s at the top of that list now, Mr. Alhaitham?” You felt wrapped in warmth but you weren’t sure if it was from the desert or his fingers settling between your thighs.
“Must you know?” He pressed his body against you, “It seems to me you don’t think we can afford to delay.”
Suddenly, the tent felt smaller, and something familiar coiled low in your belly. You let out a soft sigh, shifting closer to him, “Enough.”
The word felt hollow, even to your own ears.
He not only decided he wanted a repeat of last night (and the night before) but also the right to brag about passing with flying colours even when he was buried inside you during the most crucial part of the research.
It became a cycle—he apologised for keeping you distracted and you forgave him by moaning his name.
Never one to be so sexually inclined but now he understood why men sculpted monuments to their obsessions, why poets spilled ink in worship of carnal desires. Lust was not a sin because it was tempted, but because it was consumed. However, the way Alhaitham consumed you was completely intentional.
You were no different from his books. He spread you open, studied you, and read every inch of you all the same.
“I personally think we have plenty of time,” he leaned forward, slowly grazing his lips across your neck before kissing your pulse point. “Trust me.”
And trust him you did.
The world outside was quickly forgotten after he turned you on your back. Your words died in your throat as he hovered above you, capturing you in a careful kiss that tasted of salt and skin.
There was plenty of time in the way his fingers coveted pleasure out of you.
There was plenty of time in the way he mapped your jaw, your neck, and your collarbone with love bites. Like you were something so desirable to him.
Beads of sweat rolled down your temple as the tip of his cock shallowly pressed your entrance. Your mouth fell open—the friction was maddening, and every inch of you clung to him. Even when his lips ghosted the swell of your chest, he was lucky your skin was there to swallow his quiet grunts each time his hips moved against your tight hole.
“Patience,” he said when you instinctively arched your back, though his own breathing was uneven. Already, his hair was tousled and damp from the heat of your bodies mingling and you felt his length throbbing on your thigh. He was so hard, you couldn’t help but wonder if the one who actually needed patience was him.
You couldn’t hold back a giggle. “Speak for yourself,” you said, swiveling your hip upwards. A groan left his lips so quickly you saw a blush spread across his cheeks. “You’re barely holding it together.”
He grumbled in response. “You find joy in others’ misery.”
“Not at all.”
Although, your teasing wasn’t for naught. Alhaitham wasn’t exactly famous for bedding women so seeing you stripped of everything that made you prim and proper left him craving you that much more. “You should take it as a compliment that I—”
“So I’m the problem?” you laughed under him to mask the flutter in your stomach.
“Precisely.” You were glad he remained obstinate even when he so lewdly towered over you. “You’re in such a hurry this morning. If you want to be reckless, I won’t be blamed for the consequences.”
Then a strategic purse of lips followed suit, “I thought you enjoyed my patience.”
Patience. That damned word again.
Screw patience. Whatever consequence he was referring to was burning away any semblance of patience you might have had left. Thus far, he had taken his time with you but he had only taken his time with you. If he could be more crude, you wanted to see it—feel it.
“Alhaitham,” his entire name rolled off your tongue. Quick and demanding. Your tone only fueled the fire in his seafoam eyes. “Stop talking.”
The end of your words dissolved into a gasp as he thrust into you, hard and sudden, stretching you with a fervor you hadn’t felt before.
His muscles flexed while you dragged your nails down his spine, closing your legs around him for even an ounce of stability. The rhythm he set was already so relentless that his hands gripped your thighs, pulling them higher around his waist to drive himself deeper, and the change in angle made all sound catch in your throat.
“Haitham—!” a cry rippled from how hips were snapping against yours with a pace that was anything but patient. He had accepted your unspoken challenge so quickly, that nothing would have prepared you.
Your head swam.
The wet, sloppy slaps of skin meeting skin filled the tent, blending in with your jagged moans and his lower grunts. No part of his brain wasn’t thinking about how soaked you already were, how you welcomed him so easily before he slipped—no—pushed it in.
His hair clung to his forehead, every movement felt tight and addictive. When he leaned down, his lips brushed the shell of your ear, “Is this fast enough for you?”
You could only whimper in response, feeling your toes curl as his hoarse voice and your own pleasure consumed you.
He shifted, pulling you onto your side and hooking your leg over his shoulder. The new position sent another shockwave through you, and your priceless whines filled the small space as he drove into you over and over again.
The heat of the tent seemed endless, but so did the hunger between you. Alhaitham’s pace never truly slowed—each time your whines softened, each time you thought the storm of his touch subsided, he just tossed you into a new position, kindling the fire all over again.
“I want to hear you,” he growled while his chest was flushed against your back. Reaching to lift your leg so his heavy cock could invade you deeper, you tried to muffle your moans into the bedding. But he grabbed your chin, tilting you to look at him, “Head up.” He half-chuckled, “You were so mouthy before. What happened to that?”
Before you could answer—or think—he shifted again, this time unsteadily pulling you onto his lap. Your knees dug into the bedding but at that point, holding yourself upright proved difficult. His hands gripped your waist, guiding you to ride him as his mouth leisurely latched onto the peak of your breast. The combination left you shuddering, clinging to his shoulders as his fingers pressed bruises into your hips.
“Did you know,” he slurred against your skin, “that you’re terrible and incredible?” His praise made your cheeks burn but terrible? Terrible was the way he fucking you so hard you could barely roll your hips.
“Y-You might want to refresh yourself,” you chewed your bottom lip from yet another hard thrust, “On the meaning of ‘terrible.’” You could feel the remnants of your previous orgasms dripping down on him, “Because that’s you.”
Time blurred. You lost count of the positions, of the way he had you on all fours only to have you back in his arms moments later, of how many times you greedily begged for more. Every touch was electric; if only you could clutch him closer. The noises were shameless and the scent of filthy sex and sweat was nothing shy of erotic.
When he pinned you beneath him again, you felt him stiffen. Every inch that sunk into you felt more desperate and even the way he called your name sounded huskier. You could have sworn the tent walls were ruffling in sync from his losing control.
Your lips parted in a silent scream and with a final throb around his cock and a deep drawn-out groan in your ear, he released inside you for the first time. Your body drew out his pleasure as his forehead pressed against your shoulder. His laboured breathing told you everything about the ecstasy he was experiencing, like his body and brain were struggling to stay connected. Finally, he pulled out, trembling and sensitive, and collapsed beside you who was still panting.
Ultimately you got what you wanted: unfiltered crude sex with your insufferably hot research partner. Your pulse ran wild.
A hazy silence settled, broken only by his stroking your hand to check if you were okay. Part of him wondered if he went a bit too far which you wordlessly answered by rubbing him back. He held you, and like last night (and the night before), you lay glistening and tangled together in the aftermath.
It was a perfect system, a hopeless, delirious cycle.
“Well,” he said as he returned to tracing circles on you, “I think that concludes this morning’s exploration.”
You rolled your eyes, still dizzy and breathless, “Do you think the Akademiya will accept that as your final thesis?”
His lips quirked into a rare, little grin. “Hard to say. Who knows which of the sages might secretly be perverts?”
“Alhaitham,” you groaned, swatting weakly at his chest.
But then his arms tightened around you. And you didn’t mind. You didn’t protest. You believed you might have even loved being clad in nothing, lying in a cramped, too-warm tent that reeked in the musk of what transpired.
There was, as he said, plenty of time to finish the project. And if this was part of the process, you weren’t in any hurry.
© 2024 grimmweepers — do not repost, copy, translate, modify my work on any platform
a/n: idk if i love or hate this but it’s so hot where i am rn and the only thing i can do to distract myself from perishing from the heat is to pretend i’m here!!!
dividers by @/adornedwithlight
#☾ grimmweepers#house of solis occasum#nereids' realm#genshin x reader#alhaitham x reader#al haitham x reader#alhaitham smut#genshin smut#al haitham smut#gi smut#alhaitham x you#alhaitham x y/n#genshin impact smut#genshin impact x reader#al haitham x you#genshin x y/n
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Gosh, I can relate to this.
I think about what fandom is a lot since I sort of lurk in a lot of spaces (until I feel brave enough to speak or share).
First off, the point of this addition isn't to guilt trip anyone, but to get people thinking about what community means. What inclusion means, and what engagement means. And how those are interconnected.
One of the crucial pillars of fandom, and the reason fandom exists at all is because of community.
Writing fanfiction and sharing it for free is about building community with one another. It's people who loved a show/movie/book enough that they wanted to play in the world longer, so they play together in that world with other people who love it too. That's what fanworks are -- it's people playing together in community because of a love toward a specific series/media.
But community requires communication. It requires building connections. It requries engaging one another.
I write long fics. In fact, adding up the word counts of my fics in AO3? It's well over a million words in two different fandoms. These are free novels written because the community had been welcoming at first and it had encouraged me to keep going.
But I made a mistake. Two of these projects (in two separate fandoms) I made into a series. Because of how each part in a series means the sequel gets less engagement, it feels like I'm watching a community dissolve, and that's painful. I don't get paid for this. It's all free, and part of the reason I went to fanfic writing was because of community.
Lack of engagement gives, often unintentionally, the author the message that they aren't really part of the fandom's community. At least not anymore (if they ever were).
Some say, "Well, don't write for your readers!"
Well, no, I don't write for my readers, but the act of sharing for free is me giving to the community and building up community.
But part of building up community requires people to give back in turn. Oherwise the community will fracture and fall apart.
The reason fandom exists at all is because of community.
It's the community part of fandom that has helped me to heal enough to write again, but when that community dries up or no longer engages with me, then what am I to do? I've lost that community, and if I continue to engage with it and get very little (if not nothing) in return, then at that point, I'm throwing my energy into a void in hopes for a scrap of community.
It ceases to fulfill the need. It leaves me feeling lost and alone. And finding out later how much people loved a fic I wrote but that fic received very little engagement? It tells me that I'm not loved as a person within the community.
I have watched and listen to people talk about how much it hurts when the work they put in so much effort in for the community gets little to no engagement. It often pushes them to engage less, to stop writing, and watching that happen? It hurts to see.
Community requires communication. Do not treat an fanfic author like a kiosk, where you grab the story and run. Treat them like they are part of your community. By doing so, by including them, you bolster their sense of belonging and are more likely to get stories in return.
Community needs to be reciprocal. And I fear fandoms are losing that understanding of what community is. They expect and sometimes demand more, but what are they doing to support that fanfic writer or artist? Are they engaging them and uplifting them within the community? Or are they not engaging them?
If you read an author's work and love it, include them in that community by sharing your thoughts in a comment. You don't necessarily have to comment on every chapter of a longer work (Though it is so lovely some do), but to at least offer up comments here and there to be inclusive of that author.
Engagement bolsters the community bond.
The lack of engagement breaks the community bond.
And that's a sort of grief. Us writers came for community and to share our love of the fandom with others. When we fail to be included in that community, it will hurt. It's a type of rejection that people may not even realize they are doing.
Community requires communication, and for fandoms, part of that communication is comments, kudos, (and gosh, even tumblr asks).
I hope that helps give people another perspective to consider.
Think it over. Think about what you'd like to give back to the creators in your community.
And please understand, if you can only give back one or so comments? That's okay and valid, and that too builds up community.
Even little actions matter.
Never think your small action doesn't matter or that your comment or kudos doesn't matter. It does. It helps build community too.
Thanks for reading. Be safe.
A writer friend told me something that broke my heart a little bit today; they're going to quit publishing their fanfic.
My instant thought was that they had been trolled or attacked or that something terrible had happened in their life because this person is so passionate about their writing. It wasn't any of that. Engagement with their works has been going down, as it has for many of us. Comments are like gold dust a lot of the time, and just looking through the historical comment counts on old fics on ao3 demonstrates this trend very clearly. It was not simply the comments dropping off which caused them to decide to stop posting, however.
My friend came across a discord server for their fandom (I should point out here that their fandom interest and mine diverged a couple of years ago, we stay in touch but don't currently read each other's posts because I'm not into their fandom and they would rather gouge their eyes out with a wooden spoon than read anything Star Wars) and specifically to share fic in that fandom. They joined, because we all love a good fic rec, only to discover that their latest multichapter fic, which has almost no comments and very few kudos, is being hotly discussed in this server as one of the best stories ever. Not one of these people has bothered to say this to them on the fic. When they asked, none of participants could see the point in telling the author of the fic they apparently loved so much that they love it.
This discovery has absolutely destroyed my friend's love of sharing fic. They share because they love seeing other people's enjoyment, and fic writers do that through comments and kudos/reblogs/likes because we don't get paid. There is no literary critic writing a blog post/article about how amazing the story is for us to copy and keep/frame. There is no money from royalties. All we have are the words of the people reading our works.
Those people on that server could have taken five minutes of the time they spent gushing about how amazing my friend's story was to other people and used it to tell the one person guaranteed to want to hear that praise how much they loved it. They could have taken a moment to express their opinion to the person who spent hours upon hours plotting, writing, editing, and posting those chapters. Instead, they deprived my friend of thing that keeps them sharing their writing, and in the process have killed their love of it. My friend now feels used and unmotivated.
I won't be sharing a link to their fic, they said I could share their experience but not their identity. I know they plan to post one final chapter. I know they intend to express their hurt at being excluded from the praise for the thing they created, and I know they intend to announce that as a consequence they will not be posting for a long while, if at all.
So please, I beg you, don't hide your love of a story from the writer. It's just about the only thing we have.
#Just some thoughts on fandom and community#what I think readers may not realize when it comes to what comments are within the fandom community#I need to be better about comments too so I'm reminding myself too#bird speaks
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a heavy, exhausted sigh could be heard from the front door as it closed and something loudly—a backpack perhaps—dropped to the ground. ( hopefully nothing broke. )
the shuffling footsteps going from the living room to your room a clear indicator that it was just jayce and not a very loud burglar breaking into your apartment.
“hi, how was—oh?” your smile quickly turned into a surprised look as he interrupted your greeting by taking your phone out of your hands, spreading your legs to lay his full body weight on top of you, letting out another deep exhale from his chapped lips. don't even waste your time trying to convince him to take a lip balm to leave the house; he always forgets.
“I'm so tired…” he mumbled against the fabric of your top, instinctively snuggling into your abdomen while seeking warmth and contact. eyes growing even heavier than before. “I missed you.”
a soft smile finding its way to your lips once more at the quiet confession, gently tracing his tense shoulders with an index finger. “missed you too; you got home pretty late.”
he lazily nodded with a hum, hands slowly sliding up and down at your sides to distract himself from the stress. today has been absolutely awful. he just wanted to come home and cuddle while you talk about whatever.
a break.
“I still haven't found a material that does the same thing as cobalt for my project and is also cheap; nickel overheats, silicon expands, and I can't even afford graphene… it's driving me crazy.” a slight groan can be heard in his voice, clearly exhausted from trying and failing multiple times.
“you won't be able to think about other solutions if you're working your ass off.”
“...yeah, I know that already, but I just—everyone’s already done with their own projects or already knows how to do it, but I'm still trying to figure it out.” jayce’s lips twitch into a frown, squeezing his eyes shut before burying his face on your chest. the gentle beat of your heart soothing his overwhelmed brain.
“from now on, no talking about work here unless it's really necessary. can't have you getting gray hairs in your early thirties.” he could only scoff at that comment.
“it's not like it would look bad…right?”
“nope but still, I would prefer seeing those because of the time that passes and not from stress.” the gentle kiss on his forehead automatically makes him lean forward into you, silently asking for more.
it felt good to think about being with you long enough you start seeing his gray hair appear.
“thanks…” jayce whispered while moving his head to also be able to return the affection with tiny kisses, his stubble lightly scratching your skin, gently trailing up to your lips with a steady and soft kiss that pulled you closer and easily melted away any lingering frustration in his body.
god, it felt good to be home.
#pupi writes ᝰ#my man <3#arcane series#arcane#arcane x reader#arcane x gender neutral reader#jayce talis x reader#arcane jayce#jayce talis#arcane fluff#jayce league of legends#jayce lol#it's modern AU y'all#in case it's not really noticeable#heh#bit rushed#surpise surprise#I'm sleepy again#i swear I say that in every post#ugh
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Insect anon again. I brought it up because I have been falling in love with tarantula themed driders over normal spider ones. Something I like that would be different is when a tarantula is looking for a mate they'll drum on webbing and enclosures, I think it's cute and I can't stop thinking of a drider who has a crush on reader just drumming their hands against any flat surface when they see their little human. Their webbing isn't strong like normal spiders/driders but is a lot softer (used to make burrows more than catching things)
A/N: Hi darling! I’ve been thinking about this ask/request for a long time (sorry it took so long) and I think it requires a bit of sweetness. Hope you enjoy this short thing!
Tarantula-drider (spider monster) x fem!reader
Drider boyfriend who happens to like your face more than he likes anything else in the universe. Especially when you are writhing in pleasure against his webs.
You met him by accident, tripping over his web when you were trying to get to the supermarket faster. He was just creating the most beautiful and intricate webbing. His face was weird and angular, but also kind of beautiful, you were mesmerized in a second. He stopped dead in his tracks and you thought he was going to get mad at you because you messed the project, but instead he started drumming his hands against the wall next to him, making you smile as you looked at him.
The little stunt of drumming against surfaces didn’t stop there, it was like a stim he did every time you were near. He explained it had to do with his happiness, and how he knew right away you were his mate. And you found it incredibly adorable.
And then, when you less expected it, he turned incredibly kinky. You thought the saying about all driders being into shibari and bondage was a joke, but the first time you two had alone time, he spent hours covering you in his soft webs, until you were nothing but his prey, positioned perfectly for him to do whatever he wanted with you. He ate you out for hours. Hours. Until you were a mess of fluids and screams, until he was satisfied with the amount of times he made you come (too much to count).
#drider#spider monster#arachnid monster#monster#monster fucker#monster imagine#teratophillia#monster x reader#monster x human#terato#monster boyfriend#monster fuqqer#monster romance#monster smut#monster lover#monster love#monster x you#monster kink#monsterfucker#monsterfucking nsft#txt request#txt
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jayvik x reader plsplsplsplspls
YESYESYEYSYEYSYEYS
--
Everyone in piltover knows the three of you. Known for his attitude and sarcastic approach, viktor was usually the one people were cautious talking to. He may look small, too, but he was hiding a hell of a punch behind his bony body. Jayce is like sunshine on legs. Everyone loves talking to jayce, and he takes care of the business that he prefers you and viktor need not worry about. But he too is hiding something, jayce is absolutely terrifying when he's got a reason to be. Although he looks like a teddy bear, he could tear a man apart with two fingers and walk away smiling. So he's a guard dog.
And you are their loving and doting partner of 2 years. You are a scientist, but you have long since taken a break after an explosion shattered your arm. You haven't been able to work on much since. You started dating viktor and jayce a little bit after they joined together as partners In the hextech project.
They indoctrinated you into their duo and took pride in knowing they could take care of you, and secretly, after a short time of being your small trio, it was jayce who announced he had feelings for you. At first, you didn't know what to say back because you did indeed like him too, but you liked viktor as well.
And so you proposed to them the idea of a poly relationship. And like children who had been offered stacks of candy, they immediately smiled happily and nodded. And since then, your life has been peaceful and perfect alongside your partners.
You were taking a stroll through the square as three. Despite the fact that jayce had a meeting to get to, he would not rush viktor as he walked slowly beside him. Rather, he enjoyed walking at this pace in comparison to the constant speeding down the halls that the other councillors always seemed hell bent on doing.
"It would be nice to get lunch, don't you think?" Jayce turnt to look at you both.
You nodded. "I agree that would be lovely"
Viktor shrugged his thin shoulders. "Yes, that would be." his sentence was interrupted by a harsh cough into his handkerchief. "Lovely indeed"
You and jayce looked at each other worriedly. "Are you alright, vik? We can go home if you would like?" Jayce stopped the three of you and put his hand of viktors shoulder.
His hand engulfed his bony shoulder, and your brows raised still shocked at just how large jayce was. It's quite terrifying when he stands up straight.
"You need not worry about me, jayce. I am okay" viktor nodded.
"Perhaps it may be best if we go sit down somewhere," you stated.
"Sounds like a bad idea, love, viktor's bony butt might hurt when he sits down" jayce chuckled at his own joke.
Viktor glared at his partner. "Remember, i might be sick, but I am not weak. I will fight you talis, "
That made you laugh.
#jayce x viktor#jayce talis#jayvik fic#jayvik x reader#arcane#arcane fic#arcane act 3#arcane season 2
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hi my friends! hope you're all doing well. just wanted to come on here and share a little updates w you guys (if you're still here lol)
i guess it's been like a month n a half since i formally went on hiatus, and it's been nice! i got kinda sick for a little bit lmfaooo which was tough to manage w school, but i'm better now
although i took time away from my blog, i still delved in writing here n there. i haven't written anything for kickoff since tbh i'm in such a slump w it. but i still have big plans for stuff that happens after ch13, so hopefully i can just push through this next chapter and get to a better place. thanks so much to anyone that is still interested in the story, it means a lot to me. i know i'm so slow w updates and the story has been going on for almost a year now, but the continued support is so sweet! even though i didn't work on writing it these past one n a half months, i still really love it and plan to finish it.
i'm not sure if many people remember that i had this sort of "apocalypse" gojo x reader au about an asteroid being set to hit the earth in three days, and reader n gojo are ex lovers n the impending end of the world makes them break no-contact...yeah i finished writing the first chapter for it and i really love it so far! it's like set in new york which is really fun haha i love stories where new york is kind of its own "character" if that makes sense...it will definitely be a limited series w only 4 chapters or so, but i kinda wanna finish all 4 chapters before i start posting it bc i don't want it to be a drawn out series in terms of posting since i think it'd be best enjoyed in frequent succession if that makes sense
as for ihm, i think i wrote the most for ihm during my hiatus. i finished three chapters for it, but they are shorter chapters (around 3-4k words). i kinda realized one of my biggest reasons for burnout w my fics were the reaaaaallly long chapters...like didn't i have a 22k chapter for kickoff or sumn lol. idk i can't remember. but anyways, yeah the mindset behind the longer chapters was bc i liked each chapter to kinda have its own conflict, build up, tension then resolution in a sense. but it was exhausting to write that way tbh lol. so i think moving forward, for ihm, i will have shorter chapters. i just don't wanna think to much about things anymore, and write from my heart, bc i have a lot of things planned for ihm, and among the criticism i've received for my writing choices vs my own vision for the story, i've realized during my hiatus that the only way i can finish ihm, or any of my storeis for that matter, is if i just.........stop giving a fuck about it. lol idk if that sounds strange to say, but like, i don't want to over-edit anything. i don't want to think too much about redundancy. i don't want to flower things up or cut stuff out. i'm at the point where imma just write a first draft, check for grammarly errors, and then post it. i guess the reason i'm sharing this is because idk if this means that people may enjoy my writing less since i will admittedly be spending much less time on it than i did before, but tbh i realized i find the most joy while i'm writing, and not while i'm editing. so i want to spend as little time on the latter as possible, and if that changes the quality of my work, then so be it.
anyways, hmm as for hiatus. i guess i'm off hiatus now? i really enjoyed being off of tumblr tbh this app has a lot of questionable content at times (esp in jjk community) and it also did wonders for my studying bc i wasn't spending time doomscrolling or shit posting anymore lmfaooo. but as for writing in particular, i think i will start to post ihm again exclusively. i can't say anything about kickoff or my other projects, but i feel comfortable to start posting ihm again.
sorry, i know that i have kept my replies and ask box off for a long time. but i will open them again once i start posting chapters because i really miss interacting with you guys.
anywho, these are my updates lol i'm like not sure how many of my readers are still here or which ones have moved on but that's ok, i'm grateful to anyone n everyone. hope to see you all soon again!
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You're The One - 4
Summary: A daughter uncovers the wild, untold story of how her parents’ marriage began—and it’s way better than any romance movie she’s ever watched.
Character: Husband!Bucky Barnes x Female!Reader
Genre: Romance, Comedy
Words Count : 1,654
Chapter 1 , Chapter 2 , Chapter 3 , Chapter 4 , -
Main Masterlist || If you enjoy my work, please consider buying me a coffee on Ko-fi 🙏🏻
Thank you to everyone who has read this chapter. Leave a comment and Reblog, please. I'd love to hear your thoughts. ❤️
Present Day
“Nu-uh.” Bucky glanced at his watch. “She’ll be here any minute, and I need to get to the airport.”
“I’m coming with you!” Jade yelled, already bolting to her room to change.
“Why the sudden interest in coming along?” Bucky called after her.
“Because you won’t tell me the rest of the story, so I’ll ask Mom instead!” she shouted back.
Bucky froze for a moment, muttering under his breath, 'Well, shit.' Then he called out, “Her version will be way more dramatic!”
Jade popped her head out of her room, gasping with excitement. “I have to hear it from her now! Let’s go!”
After a long drive, the two finally arrived at the airport. Standing near the arrival gate, Bucky shifted impatiently while Jade scanned the crowd.
Finally, you appeared, wheeling your suitcase behind you.
“Mom!” Jade ran toward you, wrapping you in a tight hug.
You blinked, startled but touched. “Jade? I didn’t expect you to come along with your dad!”
Speaking of which, Bucky huffed quietly, clearly annoyed that he missed the chance to hug you first. Instead, he settled for a side hug, leaning in and murmuring, “Welcome home,” before grabbing your suitcase.
You smiled warmly and kissed his cheek. “Thanks.”
“I thought you’d be staying another week,” he said as the three of you began walking to the car.
“I wasn’t feeling great, and being sick abroad just made me more homesick,” you explained. As a game development director, you’d been away overseeing the final stages of a new project. It had been a long trip, and you were glad to be back.
Bucky asked, his voice laced with concern, "Are you alright, dear? Have you checked with the hospital? I'll call our doctor."
You shook your head gently, a soft smile playing on your lips. "No, babe. I've got the results, and everything's alright."
Relief washed over Bucky and Jade's faces. Bucky let out a sigh of relief, his shoulders relaxing. Jade, on the other hand, beamed with joy, her eyes sparkling with happiness.
“Mom,” Jade whispered conspiratorially in your ear. “Dad told me he kidnapped you from Clark Jordan.”
Your eyes widened in shock. “He did?” You turned to glare at Bucky, who rolled his eyes dramatically.
“Let’s just go home,” he grumbled, ignoring your laughter and Jade’s giggles.
On the way back, Jade couldn’t hold in her curiosity. “Mom, what happened next after Clark hit Dad?”
You smirked knowingly. “Oh, he told you about that part, huh?”
“Yup,” Jade said eagerly, leaning forward in her seat.
You shook your head, chuckling as the memory came back. “Well...”
🔔💍🔔💍
Flashback
Clark arrived at the location in a rush, his wedding suit slightly disheveled, the jacket discarded in his haste. His tie hung loose around his neck, and his face was etched with determination. He’d come as soon as he could after getting the tip-off about your whereabouts.
Bursting onto the scene, he froze when he saw you and Bucky. The two of you were arguing—your words sharp, your tone frustrated—but there was something unspoken between you. A connection Clark could sense but had never felt with you himself. It wasn’t just Bucky’s audacity that made him furious; it was the realization that something deeper existed between the two of you, something he would never have.
Without thinking, Clark lunged at Bucky, his fist connecting with his jaw. Bucky staggered back but quickly caught himself, his own eyes blazing with fury. He grabbed Clark by the shirt, stopping the second punch, and delivered one of his own in return.
“Stop it!” you yelled, stepping between them.
Both men froze, fists mid-air, their heavy breathing filling the tense silence. They glared at each other, neither saying a word, the tension crackling between them.
You felt a pang of fear—not for your physical safety, but for what might happen to Bucky. Clark wasn’t just a powerful man; his family had the connections to ruin someone’s life with a single phone call. You couldn’t let that happen.
“We should go back,” you said softly, your voice trembling.
Bucky flinched, his arm dropping to his side. He stared at you, stunned. “What?”
Clark took the opportunity to grab your arm gently, his grip firm but not harsh. “Let’s go.”
As he led you away, you couldn’t help but glance back over your shoulder. Bucky was still standing there, watching you. His expression was unreadable, but you couldn’t help the small flicker of disappointment in your chest. You’d hoped, even for a second, that he would stop you, but he didn’t move.
---
In the car, Clark broke the silence first. “Are you okay? Did he hurt you?” His voice was calm, but his worry was clear.
“No, he didn’t do anything,” you reassured him.
He let out a long sigh, relief washing over his face. “Thank God.”
You hesitated before speaking again. “Clark… about the wedding.”
He cut you off gently. “It’s alright.”
You blinked in surprise. Clark had always been kind and patient, but this… this was different. He seemed far too calm for someone whose fiancée had just been kidnapped.
“You must have been terrified,” he continued, his gaze focused on the road. “Out of the blue, someone takes you away. My heart nearly stopped.”
“I’m fine,” you said softly. “He wouldn’t hurt me.”
Clark’s knuckles tightened on the steering wheel. “I’m getting a restraining order. He won’t come near you again.”
“It’s not that simple,” you said quickly, but he cut you off again.
“He kidnapped you, and you’re still not mad at him?” His voice was quiet but filled with hurt.
You flinched at his words.
“I knew you're a brave woman,” he said after a long pause. “I heard you went into a store with him. You could’ve screamed for help, but you didn’t.” He glanced at you briefly, his tone full of disbelief. “It seems like you were willing to go with him.”
Silence fell between you, the weight of his words pressing down.
Finally, Clark spoke again, his voice soft but resolute. “The wedding’s canceled.”
“What?” you whispered, taken aback.
“I realized something today,” he said, his tone calm yet firm. “You’re not the one for me.”
You stared at him, struggling to find the words.
“I saw the way you looked at him,” he continued. “The way you argued, the fire in your eyes. It’s something I’ve never had with you. He’s the one for you, not me.”
You couldn’t deny it. “I’m sorry,” you said, your voice barely above a whisper.
“I am too,” he said with a sad smile. “I thought maybe there was a chance for us. But it seems like you’re meant to be with someone else.”
“You’ll find someone who’s right for you,” you said softly, genuinely.
Before either of you could say more, a loud whirring sound filled the air. You both looked up to see a helicopter hovering above the car.
“What the hell?” Clark exclaimed as you saw the door open.
There, standing boldly with a megaphone in hand, was Bucky. “Stop! In the name of love!” he shouted.
“What the fuck!” you and Clark said in unison.
Clark pulled the car over as the helicopter landed in the middle of the road.
You turned to Bucky as he stepped out. “Seriously?”
Bucky shrugged, a grin tugging at his lips. “I had to make a grand entrance.” He extended his hand toward you.
You glanced at Clark apologetically. “I’m sorry.”
Clark nodded, his face pained but understanding. “Go. Before you make my heart bleed even more.”
You stepped out of the car, your heart pounding as you took Bucky’s hand. He helped you into the helicopter, securing your seatbelt and placing a headset over your ears.
As Bucky climbed in, Clark called out, his curiosity getting the better of him. “What exactly did you do? How did you even afford this?”
Bucky smirked. “I’m the owner of Bitcoin.”
Clark's jaw dropped. "You?!" He had invested some money in crypto and knew a bit about the Bitcoin story, particularly the anonymous creator's preference for secrecy. Could Bucky be the creator of this coin?
Bucky shrugged. “Yeah. I like to keep it low-key.”
Clark muttered to himself, still stunned. “Unbelievable.”
Bucky offered a hand in truce. “Hey, man. I’m sorry I ruined your day.”
“And I’ll hate you for it,” Clark said honestly, shaking his hand. “But at least everything’s clear now.”
Bucky nodded. “You’re a good guy. I hope you find someone who’s perfect for you.”
With that, he climbed into the helicopter and shut the door.
You turned to him, raising an eyebrow. “So, what now?”
“We finish your bucket list,” he said with a grin.
You sighed. “No, we don’t.”
“Why not?”
“Because someone will definitely stop us,” you said knowingly.
“Who?”
“My dad,” you said flatly.
Bucky’s face fell. “Oh, fuck.”
Present Day
“I feel bad for Clark,” Jade sniffled from the backseat, dabbing her eyes dramatically with a tissue.
Bucky groaned, gripping the steering wheel tighter. “Oh, come on. He’s fine. Stop acting like this is some soap opera.”
Jade ignored him, her phone in hand as she scrolled through a quick search. “Wait a minute—oh! Clark got married two years after you two. To his childhood friend! And they have… five kids?! Woah!”
Bucky raised an eyebrow but said nothing, keeping his focus on the road.
“At least he got his happy ending,” Jade murmured, her tone softening. Then her eyes sparkled with realization. “What about Grandpapa? How did Dad win him over?”
Your lips curved into a sly smile as you glanced at Bucky, who suddenly looked tense. “Let’s just say Clark was a beginner level, but your grandfather? He was the Grandmaster level boss.”
“Oh, great. I hate this part,” Bucky muttered under his breath, his face a mix of annoyance and dread.
Jade leaned forward, her curiosity piqued even more by her father’s reaction. “Tell me everything!” she pressed, her eyes gleaming with excitement.
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#dad!bucky#husband!bucky#ceo!bucky barnes#bucky barnes x reader#bucky x you#bucky barnes x y/n#bucky barnes#bucky x y/n#bucky x reader#bucky barnes au#james bucky buchanan barnes#james bucky barnes#buckybarnes#bucky barnes x you#bucky barnes x female!reader#marvel fanfiction#marvel x you#winter soldier#the winter soldier#you're the one
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A New Face (Pt.4) | Home
pairing: Tara Carpenter x Reader
summary: after eight months, you and Tara are closer than ever. Her playful texts pull you away from a project, and you spend the night cuddling, reassuring her you're not going anywhere.
word count: 981
a/n: hi guys this is literally so short bc I didn't want to ruin it + I'm already working on another part for who hurt you. this can read as a oneshot by itself hence the extra title; anyways I hope u guys like it, any feedback is appreciated and I'm proud of myself for figuring out how to do this collage thing below xoxo
It’s been 8 months since you and Tara went on your first date and started dating; since then, you’ve shared countless memories, learned more about each other than you ever expected, and your bond only has deepened, making you both excited to see what the future holds together. There’s been a mix of growth, fun and intimate moments; and although there’s a few challenges, there’s always playfulness and banter in the relationship.
Tonight, you’re focused on finishing your project, eager to submit it at least a day before the deadline so you won’t have to rush and send in poor quality work. But then, a ping on your phone distracts you.
Tara <3
can you come over? i miss you and I’m bored
Sent at 11.45pm
You
sorry babe, I can’t. i have a project due in a few days
Sent at 11.47pm
Tara <3
guess i’ll just sit in bed..alone,cold
all by myself
w nobody to cuddle with. allll alone
You
oh shut up I’m putting my shoes on
Sent at 11.55pm
This usual banter happens often. Honestly, you didn’t mind how clingy Tara is, you knew what the younger Carpenter has been through. She decided to let you know about her past after a month of dating, with what happened to her and the core four a year ago; and you comforted her with cuddles and kisses with soft whispers for being brave and having to go through all of that.
It’s almost midnight, but the way Tara’s playful messages cut through the tranquil night, it’s hard not to smile. You know her well enough to recognize when she’s pretending to be dramatic—and when she’s genuinely feeling a little lonely or vulnerable.The little banter between the two of you has become a ritual, a comfort. But beneath it all, there’s that deep understanding of each other’s lives, pasts, and fears. You know Tara’s history, and you know she’s been through a lot. You could never understand how anyone would willingly put her in harms way. A single glance from her could make you melt into a puddle, as if the weight of the world disappeared in the softness of her eyes, leaving you both grounded and utterly undone at the same time.
You know that when you get to her place, all the tension in your body will melt away. As you head out, a small part of you can’t help but reflect on how far you’ve both come in just eight months—how much you’ve both grown together. Every little moment, where you can simply drop everything and be there for each other, makes all the difference.
Tara’s got a special place in your heart, and tonight, it’s all about making her feel seen, heard, and loved. For so long, the idea of "home" felt like a distant concept, something that belonged to a life you couldn’t fully reclaim after your parents passed. You thought you’d never feel settled again, that kind of deep connection, the feeling of being truly seen and understood. But with Tara, it’s different. It’s effortless, the way she makes you feel both grounded and free. Her presence fills spaces in your heart you didn’t know were empty.
As you may your way to her place, a soft smile tugs at the corner of your lips. It’s funny how simply being with her, in her space, cuddling under the blankets, or sharing small moments of laughter, feels more like home than anything else ever has. When you knock on her door, she’s already standing there, as if she already felt your presence from a block away; wrapped in a blanket, her hair falling messily around her face, and that familiar twinkle of mischief in her eyes. “You’re late,” she teases, her voice a soft mixture of playfulness and a hint of relief. Ever since you both got together, Tara’s been more anxious, fearing that Ghostface might pop out and take you from her. She’s expressed her concerns to you, and you’ve made sure to constantly remind her that you aren’t going anywhere. “I’m not going anywhere, Tara— you’re stuck with me, no matter what.” Besides, you don’t mind constantly texting her and sending pictures of whatever you’re up to.
“Lay with me? Please?” You fold almost instantly, allowing her to pull you into her bedroom while making sure to keep quiet, since Sam is asleep. Just as you settle onto her bed beside her, Tara does her little grabby hands and you pull her against you, her legs over yours and hugged your torso, resting her head and smiling into your shoulder, inhaling your scent as she had always associated you with safety. You smiled fondly, caressing her thigh with your hand before leaning forward to place a kiss on her forehead. Tara’s eyes fluttered at the gesture, and you can feel your heart soar at how adorable she is.
“I love you, so, so much. Did you know that?” You whispered close to her forehead. The warmth of your whisper sent a gentle shiver down her spine. “I know, but I don’t mind hearing you say it again, and again..” You chuckled softly at her statement.
“I don’t mind it either, because I’ll keep saying it; every day if I have to” You smiled softly, the words lingering between you.
Before you could say more, she pressed her lips to yours, soft and gentle—the familiar taste of strawberry from her lip balm making you sigh in content. The kiss was warm, comforting, like coming home. When she pulled back, her eyes fluttered open, a shy smile tugging at her corner of her lips. “I love you more,” she whispered, her breath mingling with yours.
It was safe to say that you didn’t manage to finish your project anytime soon. But with Tara in your arms, you wouldn’t have it any other way.
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a/n: i hope this is enough for ya'll bc i literally couldn't figure out a way to continue without it being too draggy and boring. fyi 'who hurt you' pt 2 should be coming out in 2 days hopefully idk AND idk how this taglist thing works so lmk if you'd be interested in it
taglist: @bella423
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Here's my piece for the @mcspirkevents Big Bang! I was paired with the excellent @twinkboimler and their fic Jim Kirk's Guide to Delivering the Goods, which you can find here (E, AOS McSpirk, 60k)
Summer just started, and Jim is bored out of his mind. The courses he needs to take aren’t being offered until the second half of the summer, so he has an entire month to bother his roommate Bones. At Bones’ suggestion to get a job, Jim fixes up a motorbike and starts making deliveries to people in town, including a cute Vulcan professor named Spock. But when Jim is beaten up while making a delivery, it’s Spock who delivers Jim back to the apartment he shares with Bones. After the meet-cute from hell, Spock and Bones start dating… and so do Jim and Spock. With neither roommate aware they’re both dating the same man, there’s only so long that things can go well for them before the other shoe finally drops.
Also as part of my Big Bang offerings, I made a fic playlist (below) — partly a love letter to McSpirk, partly a love letter to myself and Fletcher's overlapping music taste.
Thank you again to Fletcher @twinkboimler for working on this project with me, it's been an absolute joy!
Until the Birds Return on Spotify
Tracks and choice lyrics below the cut (contains vague spoilers):
Astronaut | Future Crib
I wanna be an astronaut Fly into space I wanna see Mars from Venus I wanna go to that place And if you come with me They'll be room in my ship I'll take you up there with me It can be just you and me
Afraid of Heights | boygenius
I never rode a motorcycle I never smoked a cigarette I wanna live a vibrant life But I wanna die a boring death
Day by Day | Old Sea Brigade
Time and time again, I think I'm falling through space And I wake up in my bed just sweating in sheets
... Then I think of you growing old and it breaks my heart
Factories | Autoheart
When you found my body by the lake You wasn't sure if I was still alive
You and Your Friend | Snake River Conspiracy
Must we go run through our lives with our eyes closed To the loving happiness that we can share I think I'm in love with you and your friend
My Gal, My Guy | Darlingside
My (guy) he's the bluest ocean, (he) Waits under the bluest sky for me I belong to (him) When I'm in the water
Santa Fe | Autoheart
Heaven sent You were like a present I should not have kept A sticker on your forehead saying 'breakable And I broke you bad
Coat on a Hook | The National
Two days, we're still not talking You're the opposite of an open book Come back for me
Top to Toe | Fenne Lily
So I'm changing all my days To make your nights It's just not right
Pigeon Song | Patrick Wolf
Now the pigeons gather 'round my feeding hand And we talk 'til the evening fades I have learnt how it goes What you wait for never shows And what you least wanted, holds you down like a stone
Hornets | The National
But I don't wanna leave And I don't wanna hide I just don't wanna run Into you tonight
Tea, Milk & Honey | Oh Pep!
If you stick with me, I'll make sure your time is all right If you don't understand where I am now, it's better if we leave it
The Spiritual | Jukebox the Ghost
We might have kissed a bit too soon I could feel what was coming and I didn't mean to hurry you I just knew that time would find our fingers linked, through and through Forgive me, I'm human too
Bike Dream | Rostam
Two boys, one to kiss your neck And one to bring you breakfast Get you out of bed
Don't Go | Yazoo
Can't stop now Don't you know I ain't never gonna let you go
Jenny | The Mountain Goats
I hopped on back of the bike, wrapped my arms around you I sank my face into your hair And then I inhaled as deeply as I possibly could You were sweet and delicious as the warm desert air And you pointed your headlamp toward the horizon We were the one thing in the galaxy God didn't have his eyes on 900 cc's of raw whining power, no outstanding warrants for my arrest
Old Old Fashioned | Josh Ritter (Frightened Rabbit cover)
Oh let's get old fashioned Back to how things used to be If I get old, old fashioned Would you get old, old fashioned with me?
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I Believe it's now over a Year since I've joined Tumblr
First of All
THANK YOU so much to all My Followers and Mutuals!
I wish I could mention all my 99 followers, but I felt it was too unwieldy so I'll just settle for keeping it small:
Thank you very much to:
@cesarescabinet @sanddef @0rions-belt @fairyhagmother
@mistoffeleesisawitch @moirailsupport @taliesin-the-bored @dullyn
@gailyinthedark @enjoyerofstories @rainbluealoekitten @a-funeral-pyre
@agravaineoforkney @gingersnaptaff @sagewiththyme @emperorcandy @nukethebees
@jimmythejiver @oneshoulderangel @salomania @wandrenowle
@wildbasil @sickfreaksirkay @liminalpsych @neapolitangirl
And Shoutouts to:
@tiodolma @delphiniumpacificguinevere @the-king-and-the-druidess @thesquireinvictus
@adhd-merlin @joemerl @gellavonhamster
and many, many more!
With special thanks to:
@queer-ragnelle - who's Arthurian Preservation Project was the best resource that I was fortunate enough to discover. (You should go check it out HERE)
SO... a whole year has passed since I've joined Tumblr and wow, I didn't think I would come to love blogging here; I don't really engage with social media much at all, even now. But here, it's different. I first came to Tumblr because of my growing obsession with the Arthurian Tradition - something that had been growing for a long time since I was still in High school. Back then, I was also a freak for folklore and mythology. And having since come here, I think it's helped me a lot, both in my personal life and with my obsession with Arthuriana. The community here is wonderful and comfortable to talk about our little niche
With all that said, I thank you to all who've liked and reblogged my posts and, trust me I've got PLENTY MORE things to show and talk about King Arthur and his mythos.
So, I hope I can continue blogging about our favorite knights and ladies at Camelot for the forseeable future.
Finally, to cap off
I wish you all love, peace and happiness no matter what
#this might be the only time im doing this becuz it's kinda not my style#but#i want to be grateful to this site and to the people who I interactive with here#happy anniversary#arthuriana#my blog#my thoughts#oc#long post#arthurian fandom#arthurian tumblr community#tumblr#tumblr community
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Fusion especially is still perpetually at least 10 years away in the best case scenario. If someone cracks the thing tomorrow, they then need to start designing actual functioning and safe power producing plants, instead of the test reactors we now have. Building nuclear power plants is slow, and building fusion plants, which no-one has ever done before, is going to take that 10 years. So no, fusion power will not solve our problems, since we're already navel deep in shit, let alone ten years from now. Fission is better than coal and oil, but no amount of added fission - which is going to take years as well btw - is going to meaningfully lessen coal and/or oil consumption. It'll just add energy consumption instead - we have long history and statistics to show how this work. More resources mean we use more resources - so the solution can't really be more resources, it needs to be less consumption. China has added renewable energy faster than anyone anywhere actually thought is possible, tripling their clean energy production from 400GW to 1200GW in just 5 years. At the same time they have been increasing coal consumption. Because it's not enough to add clean energy, we need to decrease overall consumption, which we haven't been doing, because no-one wants to let go of their useless crap, everyone wants more and more and cheaper if possible. There have been a lot of positive things happening in terms of adding cleanish energy into the mix. At the same time we have cryptocurrency farms using cities' worth of that energy, effectively negating those positive effects. The wars we have ongoing are also releasing huge amounts of greenhouse gases, especially the war Israel is waging, since continuous bombing actually releases a shitton of them. Also, training AI consumes stupidly huge amounts of power as well, since all the computer farms need to be fed electricity to calculate and to cool them down.
Your average western consumer's footprint is a problem as well, we're constantly replacing things that don't need to be replaced, throwing away things that are still usable, getting things we don't actually need in the first place and traveling inefficiently to places we need not go to. Go stand on the side of a road and look at the amount of cars with just a driver inside. It's the clearest possible sign, that gas is way too cheap, since you don't even need to be rich to just burn it away carelessly. And a "fun" thing about cars? We've spend years and years building bigger roads with more lanes to battle traffic congestion, which has, you guessed it, added more cars to the roads. More resources means more consumption. So what should actually be done? Mines should be shut down, more and more fossil fuels should be left in the ground, no new projects to dig for these should be allowed anywhere, prices should be way higher, the rich should be taxed, the price of clothing and travel (oil prices basically) should go way up and we should compensate for that by allowing people to not commute and force them to co-commute. More nuclear energy will not fix the problems, only add more resources to make things worse.
it would be kind of based if our renewable energy woes were just immediately solved by building a functioning fusion reactor. like all this philosophical hand-wringing about the consequences of our overconsumption, about the need to eschew our worldly possessions and live smaller, simpler lives more in tune with our food and our material goods and where they come from. how climate change is a wake up call to shun the vulgar decadence of modernity and embrace a more humble, soulful way of living. and then it's just like no lmao we solved it with a machine. sorry you spend all that time contemplating the human condition but what we actually needed was a new machine. sorry lmao. there's pretty much free energy forever now don't even worry about.
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Even if I haven't been very active lately, 9 years is still pretty significant- happy birthday to the blog!
So like Percy up there I'm gonna do so dome reflecting. This blog's where I've often done that for some reason, but here's the tl'dr for blog related stuff.
• I would like to keep drawing stuff but feeling generally unsure in myself, and I'm wondering if all the years of fandom harrassment have caught up with me • I have one big project in mind, I've been dipping my toe into what I'd need to do it. No spoilers but it was one of the first things I played around with this series, so do with that what you will • If I can keep myself drawing, I want to use more of the original source material since I'm struggling with original ideas. So stuff like redraws, hOpEfULlY even animatics, just like what originally got me so into trains yknow? Because that's fun and sparks joy. And that always goes down a treat with you guys so bonus • As always I appreciate you guys not coming after me for being so inconsistent
The rest of this is me doing what Percy's doing in the drawing and reflecting, as there is indeed much 2 think about. It's also a little sad and venty so, there's your warning there.
.
Ok so obviously a busy year, we moved into our new house that we actually own, I spent most of the year planning our wedding, and then got married. Big stuff. Also! I came off antidepressants in the summer. I've been on them for...basically as long as this blog, 6 months after I started it I think. Which also means I'd been on antidepressants my entire adult life. Feels like a big deal and I guess I'm still adjusting.
Another big thing, but sad, is that my dog died about two weeks ago. If you follow me on twitter you'll have seen her but she did make an appearance here a few Halloweens ago
I got her when she was 13 and had her 8 years after that. So that's been difficult. Unrelated to that (probably), but I just feel...really mediocre. And before you point out the obvious, this has been present even before I came off antidepressants. But yeah just... mediocrity. In myself as a person, how I look, what I draw, my whole life really (barring my marriage thankfully). What have I achieved? I'm 26, I'm not working, I don't feel well, my art isn't good (I don't think so anyway- like yeah it's technically fine I guess but it's not, and has never been, very stand-out or impressive). And lately art doesn't bring me the same joy it once did, and I'm wondering if all the years of harrassment from this fandom (mostly the twitter side, tumblr's been pretty good to me) has finally caught up with me and put me off the whole thing. Or worse, that I just don't have as much of an interest in it anymore. I don't think I'll ever be like "ok yep I'm officially done with this blog" because I'm so stubborn but idk. I want to make things and be creative, I want to make more train art, but it doesn't feel the same. I don't know what's wrong. What do you listen to? What you want vs what you feel? I still enjoy train stuff, I love going to Awdry Ex every year. It's been like this for awhile. It's not even like I have a strong feeling of what I'd rather be doing as far as careers go. And even if I did, oh yeah I'm sure my two degrees in animation will be very relevant in another field (sarcasm). I feel adrift. My sails are open but there is just no wind. Planning my wedding gave me something to do and work on and just, feel useful but now that that's over I feel lost again. Losing my dog, who had become the center of my life because of how vulnerable she had become, hasn't helped.
On the more creative side of things, I also don't really know what to do with this blog's story either. The show's ended as far as most people are concerned, and I kiiinda wrote myself into a corner because once Thomas turns 18 he's going to leave for university, and that sets off this whole arc with James but basically the problem is it involves characters leaving and for some reason that feels like a no-no here. Don't get me started on the timeline lol. But Thomas works on a railway on Sodor, that's how it has to be...right? I guess I'm sort of at a crossroads of, ok do I want this to be close to the source material, and thus easily digestible to newcombers? Or do I want to make it more and more my thing and distanced from the source material? I doubt there's many new people coming since the series ended. And even then, there's a lot more humanization artists around now than when I started, so it's not like I'm filling a niche anymore. Just to be clear it's fine and also good that there's more humanization artists, variety is good, I just don't feel as "needed" anymore (which is 100% in my head and not an actual role that belongs to me or something). I started this blog when I was 17, so my interests and what I relate to have changed obviously. The character designs certainly have. It's never followed a super rigid story plan, but the core of it has always been the central cast doing things on Sodor. I however have always had a scene/project/animatic/whatEver in mind for when this 'series' would '''officially''' ''''end''''. But then what comes after that? I've always tried to run this blog like they are Real People that You interact with. But in real life there is no ending to the story, there's always more stuff to come. You get married, and it's wonderful, and then life goes on. The credits never roll. So maybe that's what I'm having trouble coping with...the progression of time. Ah, my old nemesis. I've always had trouble with letting go of things. There's nothing to say that I couldn't still draw stuff after the series "ends". I guess any story after Thomas leaves could be like... a sequel series or a spin off or something. Spin-off of a spin-off. Famous 8 All Grown Up. Famous 8 Qurter Life Crisis. Who knows. I certainly don't.
I've also been really into an original project unrelated to this but those don't get as much attention and while I'd like to do something with it one day, I don't feel very confident in being able to make that happen right now. But you know... as far my as art not being super spectacular goes... I think my individual talent has always been is my ideas, like the writing side of things. And then brought to life with my art, which normally isn't anything to write home about but is good enough to convey the idea and be not-awful to look at, lifts both of them beyond what they were individually. Maybe that's what I should focus on. Maybe that's wishful thinking.
So....idk. Idk what I'm doing but I'm trying to be gentle on myself and just let myself continue to drift, to heal from this heavy loss, and then in the New Year I'll try and pick myself up. Then there will be no more big once-in-a-lifetime events coming up, no more just-moved-into-a-house-and-oh-no-there's-a-bunch-of-things-that-need-attention-NOW scenarios, and no more big holidays for awhile. I guess we'll see.
If you read all of this I am so sorry but also thank you for reading my ramblings. And thank you for being around, whether that's been for a few months or for several years, but especially if it's been several years
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Harp's way too long "interpreting Jayvik as a queer rework of Judas & Jesus" ramble (BASS BOOSTED)
Okay so I have a ramble about jayvik's jesus/judas parallels that was inspired by the acoustic vers of JUDAS by The Reverent Marigold (amazing trans nb artist pls listen) and a mutual I'll tag in a reblog bc this is LONG
But this particular song is one I hold close to my heart (and project onto my favorite stories) bc it's a fundamentally compassionate reading of a biblical figure who is viewed as anathema by believers for a fate he never even had the chance to change.
To skip my kinda long Judas preface ramble go to the next orange text
Jesus forsees Judas's betrayal, he lets it happen. Yet Judas has become a reviled figure for being the catalyst of Jesus's transcendence from prophet to Christian deity.
Jesus had to be betrayed, he had to "die for our sins", and he had to fall so he could ascend. He could not be the redeemer without his betrayer.
Yet Judas, who is argued to either be destined or hellishly influenced for his betrayal, in my eyes didn't have to betray Jesus with a kiss. An emotional gesture, whether romantic or familial or platonic or whatever.
There was a gesture of devotion even in that act of persecution, and Judas died in despair of his own actions.
Okay this is the jayvik ur here for
Okay okay this is the part about jayvik, because when everyone was mad over Jayce killing Viktor during the 2nd batch of s2 eps, all I could think about how Viktor had been stuck in a limbo. Half ascendant and half trapped by his mortal form.
Like Christ was Jesus of Nazareth before being the Son of God, s2 Viktor is stuck in the middle of The Scientist and The Herald. Not quite mortal, not fully deity.
Something's gotta give, someone has to hammer the last nail in his coffin (or the crucifix in this instance), someone has to be the Betrayer for Viktor to be the Redeemer. And would we really want it to be anyone other than Jayce?
Would Viktor want it to be anyone other than Jayce? Someone other than his partner, the first man he saved on his path to ascendance. The man killing him with compassion because the Viktor of before had never wanted this.
And it's fascinating to me that within the parallel to Christianity, the differences in Arcane's story give Jayce and Viktor a far more lovely, compassionate ending than Judas and Jesus ever had. At least in the mainstream canon.
It's why I compared jayvik to Rev Mari's JUDAS instead of the basic story. JUDAS's queer themes and Rev Mari's lyricism reframe Judas in a kinder light and humanize Jesus in ways that make me so happy.
Lyric examples:
Because queerness, especially in gender, is so deeply about compassion, and living true to ourselves, and killing what is keeping us from growing into our own identities.
And the fact that Viktor and Jayce, with all their allegorical connections to the Savior and Betrayer, got such a beautiful, transcendent, and queer ending is. Meaningful
Wayyy more analysis under the cut! YAY
go to the next pink if you only want my main conclusion :]
Because Judas's story ended in him taking his own life, and Jayce was given a near rebirth when Viktor saved him from taking his own.
Judas's betrayal was predestined as a tool for Jesus's ascension to Christ the Son, while Jayce's betrayal was that he actively went against Viktor's decision and Viktor's autonomy. When Jayce killed the in-between Viktor he was repenting for that betrayal, and in doing so he was saving himself. In the Christian sense of the word, where Salvation is of the soul.
Only, in the Christian sense of the word, Jayce's salvation would have to come from the Savior. He would be praying for guidance, even if from that in-between Viktor.
But he doesn't put the onus on Viktor to forgive him, he doesn't compromise his devotion to his partner Viktor at the behest of this new Viktor that came from Jayce's betrayal.
When Judas sent Jesus off to die, that was his greatest sin. Jayce's was forcing Viktor to live in spite of Viktor's wishes.
The popular belief is that Judas was condemned to eternal damnation, punishment for a betrayal that Christ needed to ascend. And I think that is the saddest, most hopeless thing in the world.
If Christ couldn't– or wouldn't– save his friend and follower who fell so deep into guilt when his led to Jesus of Nazareth's death that he killed himself, how could anyone trust in their own salvation? If Judas was condemned to rot in Hell when his "loving" deity was done using him, why the fuck would anyone want that Salvation?
pink text indicating the conclusion
So Jayce and Viktor, in this fucking fundamentally queer story, saving each other and knowing each other and finding each other in every fucking reality like their souls could never exist apart is beautiful to me.
Neither of them were the passive objects of the other's Salvation. We know this because Jayce's original betrayal and the Herald's reality shifting "fixes" didn't save the other, nor did those actions condemn themselves.
Neither were helpless, or groveling for "forgiveness", or forced to fundamentally alter who they were at the core in order to be worthy of goodness.
They weren't exactly Jesus of Nazareth and Judas Iscariot, because Jayce and Viktor were written with a fundamentally queer compassion many refuse to apply to their faith.
Neither Jayce nor Viktor were purely Salvation or Forgiveness.
They were better. Jayce and Viktor saved each other, and themselves, when instead of forgiveness they offered acceptence and compassion.
I read it as:
There is nothing to forgive, because there is nothing wrong with you. I'm sorry I tried to change you, there is nothing wrong with you. I will prove in every reality that there is nothing wrong with you.
I found you again, and I'll find you again, because you held my soul so gently your hands left shining, iridescent marks that guide me to you in every reality.
There is no Jayce without Viktor, and no Viktor without Jayce, because they made it so. They chose to be soulmates, in whatever way you want to read it. And that means so much to me.
tl;dr arcane showed us the kinda religion we'd get if they let jesus be trans and have a boyfriend
#jayvik#i also think theres FOR SURE DISABILITY THEMES HERE but im nit the guy to do that regarding physical disabilities#sending a link to the song and tagging the mutual in a reblog!#jayce talis#arcane jayce#viktor arcane#arcane spoilers#arcane season 2#arcane s2#arcane#i have religious guilt by proxy#bc chicana catholic family passed down undiagnosed anxiety disorders and religious guilt#grew up in small rural town of mostly christians and catholics until age 10#and im queer in the usa so idk what to tell u#harp rambles#man i really figured out my feelings about the end to jayviks story during this lol okay talk about processing#cw religious themes#cw sui mention#oh i forgot to clarify I grew up being raised without a religion in a town where everyone was some sorta religious.#whether they were christians or a member of the indigenous tribe that practiced their tribe's faith#which i wont specify cause thatd triangulate my old town for sure bc it was right by the reservation#anyways when everyone around you is raised in a faith you wonder what the fuss is about#but you were raised by avid readers who encouraged skepticism and therefore really really cannot fathom what the fuss is about#you internalize things in a weeeeiiiiird way#like no i dont believe in a higher power but like tell that to the part of me who listened when ppl talked about sin
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Dave Lizewski - Limerence
summary - when you and dave are paired up for an english project, he asks you a question which makes you squirm
warnings - possible stalking? idk sorry, basic fluff,
Main Masterlist Dave Lizewski Masterlist
a/n - hiya gyals, i have been trying to find more than just 3 decent dave fanfics so i jus decided to write my own, ta ta my lovelies! xx
dave lizewski x fem!reader
Limerence. Noun. Meaning: the state of being infatuated or obsessed with another person, typically experienced involuntarily and characterised by a strong desire for reciprocation of one's feelings but not primarily for a sexual relationship.
This is the feeling I get when I think of Dave Lizewski. Nobody in school cares about him at all. They don't even look at him. Which I'm glad about because that means I get him all to myself. But he never looks at me. God I just want him to look at me, notice me, speak to me, something. But i get nothing.
It still baffles me how no one has tried to ask him out before. He is absolutely beautiful. In fact, ineffable. His brown curls frame his face amazingly. His blue eyes I could look into all day. And god his voice, it could lull me to sleep effortlessly. And his humour, he makes me silently laugh every time I overhear him say something at lunch to his friends.
My friends think I'm weird for thinking he's attractive. They call him a nerd and a weirdo because he reads comic books at that little cafe every day. But that's because they don't see what I see. And it's because they don't look at him as much as I do.
I have almost every class with him, because I found out which classes he chose and switched to them. And those lessons that I needed to get higher grades for, I studied as hard as I could so that I'd be able to move to Dave's classes. My friends call me a stalker but I just want to be closer to him.
Me and my friends are sitting at our usual table which I chose because it was right behind the table Dave usually sits at. My friends never noticed, not caring about anything other than their lunch and the conversations they're having. I never listen, I just look at Dave's features and try to hear what he's talking about. I see his friend turn around to look at me then says something to Dave.
Dave then leans to the side to look at me and I immediately hide my face with a book and blush so furiously you'd mistake me for a tomato. That was fucking embarrassing, I'd been staring that long his friend pointed it out to him. Fuck.
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I was in AP English, one of the classes I had to get my grades up for. I sat a seat to the left from Dave. I don't know what Ms. Somerset was talking about because all I was doing was doodling and trying to catch glances at Dave, while trying not to be obvious at the same time. But my ears perked up when I heard about a project we'd be doing in pairs. I prayed to God or whoever is up there that I'd be paired with Dave.
"Okay, I'm going to list the people that are going to be in pairs together. First, Holly you're with George. Grace with Vanessa. Zach with Jake. Y/N with Dave..." The teachers voice faded away as soon as I heard. My prayers had been answered. Thank you God!
I turned my head to look at Dave and he was already looking at me, we both smiled at each other then turned back towards the teacher.
"The project is going to be a presentation about the analysis of any piece of literature you want to do. Do it however you want it just needs to be a PowerPoint slideshow. Now everyone go sit with your partner and begin planning your presentations." Everyone got up and joined their partner and Dave came over and sat next to me.
"I never knew you were in AP English Y/N..." He felt a bit embarrassed after admitting that. A blush creeped up onto my face, well that's a bit embarrassing.
"I changed to this class about 5 months ago, I just never talk because none of my friends are in this class." I gave him a shy smile as Ms. Somerset handed us some coloured pens and a piece of paper to make a plan.
"You're in my Chem, Bio and Physics as well now that I think about it. And my History, Computer Science and Design Tech. You're in all my classes and I never noticed you before. Except at lunch or breaks, or when we walk home the same way. Don't you live a couple blocks from me?" Fuck... What if he connects the dots? And if he does what if he thinks I'm a freak?
"I wouldn't know, sorry." I gave him an awkward laugh and looked down to the paper.
"So what piece of literature should we choose? We could do something by Jane Austen, Shakespeare, Fitzgerald, Mark Twain?" It shocked me that Dave knew all those writers, mainly because all I've seen or heard about him reading was comic books.
"I say we do Emma by Jane Austen. I've read it a hundred times and I've already analysed it anyway so we just have to put it onto the presentation." Dave agreed and we planned out our presentation for the rest of the class.
When the bell rang, I gathered all my things and exited the classroom to go home. When I was a few steps out of the classroom, I heard someone call my name. It was Dave.
"I-I thought you could have my number, so that we can arrange to meet at each other's houses to work on the project. O-or we could work on it at the library. Whatever y-you're comfortable with." My heart could practically explode. Not only was he giving me his number, he was also possibly inviting over to his house!
"Yeah that'd be great." I gave him a bright smile. "We could go back to my house now? So that we can get the project over and done with, I hate having things that aren't finished yet."
"R-right now?" His cheeks flush a light pink. His eyes dart from my eyes to everything else around us.
"Yeah, you don't have to come over if you don't want to I don't want to make you uncomfortable." Fuck, I already feel like I'm screwing it up with him.
"N-no it's fine, I just didn't think you'd want me there. But yeah, let's go now." Inside, I was practically exploding. I have never felt such happiness until now. I fucking love Ms. Somerset!
We began walking out the school when my friends saw me walking with Dave. I saw them whispering and giggling to each other.
"Hey Y/N! What are you doing with him?" I felt anger run through me, why the fuck are they taking the piss out of him?
"We have a project we need to do so he's coming over to my house after school." I fake smiled at them and as soon as I turned away from them I had a disgusted look on my face. "Sorry about them Dave."
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As we came into my house, my dad immediately came into the hall and gave me a hug. He then turned to Dave and sized him up. I could see Dave squirming so I broke the silence.
"Dad, this is Dave. We're doing a project together in English." My dad narrowed his eyes at Dave and then his eyes widened with realisation and went to shake Dave's hand.
"So you're the Dave my princess talks about all the time!" I wanted the ground to swallow me whole and get the hell away from here. I've never wanted to be thrown into space in my whole entire life.
Dave looked at me in confusion and saw my uncomfortable demeanor.
"Right we're going upstairs, love you." I then dragged myself upstairs, Dave following close behind me and I led him to my room.
I sat myself at my desk and watched Dave as he looked around my room. I had vinyl records stuck to the wall along with different posters and tapestries. Fairy lights lined the frame of my bed. I also had a little table with a record player and a shelf specifically for my favourite records.
"Your room is really nice Y/N. I like your posters and lights." I looked around my room, I never actually took notice of it in all honesty.
"Thank you. I decorated it myself, I even designed the layout of my room when my dad helped build this place." Dave looked fascinated. I don't even know why.
"That's so cool, you got to choose how your room was shaped ad everything?" It was cute how he was so excited about something as little as room design.
"Yeah, plus my room is the biggest in the house. My dad let me have it cause he said he's barely going to be in his anyways cause he's working all the time. Surprised he's actually home right now." Dave smiled at me and looked around my room before we silently began our project.
I couldn't believe that Dave fucking Lizewski was in my room! I've liked him ever since I first saw him when I moved here in Sophomore year. As he was doing his work, I couldn't help but stare. He was so beautiful. The way his curls fell on his face, the way he slightly stuck out his tongue when he was concentrating on reading something. I was so lost in staring at him I didn't even realise that he was calling my name.
"Y/N!" I shook my head to get myself out of the trance I was in, he caught me fucking staring. Great.
"Yeah?" He smiled as he shook his head at me, not in a misdemeaning way though, in a "I find it kinda cute" way.
"What exactly are we analysing from Emma?" I went to sit down next to him on my bed and read what he was reading.
"I think we should analyse how Jane Austen represents class types within all the characters and how they act towards each other." I then looked to Dave who was already looking at me.
"Your eyes are really pretty..." Why the fuck did I just say that? Out of everything to come out of my mouth that is what I say? Dave's face turns a bright shade of red.
"Th-thank you, I really like your hair..." I had purple streaks in my hair. My dad screamed at me when he saw, but he then found them actually pretty.
"Thank you, when I first dyed it my dad went ballistic. Eventually he warmed up to them." Dave smiled at me, in a way I couldn't decipher.
"Do you like me?... Y/N?" Those words make my heart stop. Fuck. He's realised. He probably found out about me switching classes just to be with him, me staring at him all the time, my friends call it an obsession.
"Where did that come from?" I chuckle, trying to play it off.
"I've heard your friends talk about it, Todd told me today that you were staring at me. So I thought I'd ask you." This was actually quite bold of him, he always just stuck to either being quiet or just talking quietly with Todd and Marty.
"You find me weird don't you?" I leaned away from him, I didn't want him to look at me. Before right now, that was all I had hoped for and now it's the last thing I want.
"No, not at all actually. I find it cute. At first I was worried you wanted to kill me or something but when I saw your face light up when Ms. Somerset paired us up I had a feeling it wasn't because you wanted to kill me." Dave chuckled slightly, he smiled with only one side of his mouth and he looked so cute doing it.
"I thought I could actually hide it, guess I can't. I do like you Dave, and I know you have a crush on Katie so it's fine we can just pretend this never-" Dave cut me off by pressing his lips against mine. At first I was completely shocked but then I kissed him back. Oh my god I'm kissing Dave Lizewski!
I cupped his cheeks and pulled him on top of me and his hand found place on my waist. He didn't kiss me roughly like a couple guys have done before. He was gentle, more caring than lustful.
We both then pulled away and Dave had a big goofy smile, he was adorable.
"I don't like Katie, I mean I used to. But that was until I started seeing you sit next to our table at lunch and see you walk down the hallways with your friends..." A billion fireworks were going off in my head. I have never been happier.
"W-would you wanna go out on a date with me?" Oh my god, he wants to go out on a date with me!
"I would love to." I had a massive grin on my face. My dreams had come true.
#kick ass#dave lizewski#aaron johnson#aaron taylor johnson#atj#dave lizewski x reader#dave lizewski fluff#david lizewski fluff#david lizewski
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