#this post is silly but also deadly serious

[bishonenvoicedbyadyke]

[buggiesnax]

Happy pride month :)

[blujayonthewing]

a doylist explanation for gnomes having a reputation as aggressively annoying-on-purpose obvious joke characters is that they get built that way by troll players because a lot of people, by and large, don't know how to square the concepts of 'people who proactively value joy and whimsy and having a laugh' and 'people who are capable of being well rounded and serious with actual thoughts and feelings' as things that can coexist

a watsonian explanation is that a lot of gnomes realize other races think they're stupid and ridiculous and are intentionally leaning in as hard as possible because they think it's really funny

[shoechoe]

Thinking about Jonathan some more; while I do think he isn't very interesting or particularly filled with depth compared to the other Jojos, the big thing he has going for him is that he's a dude you just can't really hate. He exudes this good vibe that makes you like him despite not being a very unique protagonist, especially when he's surrounded by nasty characters like Dio and the rest of Phantom Blood's tone is somewhat bleak as he's put into tragedy after tragedy. That's probably what makes people so quick to defend him from people calling him a bad protagonist for not being interesting enough- he's just... a likable guy.

[farfromstrange]

Mismatched Bridesmaid | Matt Murdock x F!Reader

PART 2 of The Vault

See this post for more information on my Valentine's Day Special & Follower Celebration, but these fics can be read separately!

Pairing: Matt Murdock x F!Reader

Summary: Deciding to go to your old college roommate's wedding turns into a bad idea when you suddenly have to function as a bridesmaid until you're paired with a very handsome groomsman.

Warnings: Fluff, attempt at humor, SMUT (18+ MINORS DNI), oral f!receiving, use of "good girl", One-Night Stand, shameless flirting, kind of "horny at first sight", so cheesy it might make you hate cheese

Word Count: 4.3k

A/n: I was wondering why this didn't post until I saw that I hit "save draft" instead of schedule, so this may come on time for some and too late for others, but I'm still awake, so it counts as the 15th. Also, when I wrote this it was after hinting at it on here, and I was excited at first, but I'm not too happy with it now because it's just silly and falls a little flat, in my opinion. This is why I went back in and edited a hell of a lot, adding some things, etc. Nevertheless, I promised to clear out the vault for this event, so this is it. I got inspired by seeing the She-Hulk clips when the episode with Matty came out. It may or may not be noticeable. We're also working with the Nelson, Murdock & Page narrative. Enjoy!

You are not made for white-veil occasions. 

While weddings, in their essence, symbolize unity while covering different facets of romantic beauty, they are also inherently stressful for nearly everyone involved in the proceedings. Over the years of adulthood, you’ve found that weddings tend to end in disaster when you attend—and you are not particularly fond of engaging in drama.

When your old college roommate sent you an invitation to her wedding in June, you considered responding with no. You’ve been close for a few years, but then you graduated, found separate careers, and then never talked again. You weren’t sure why she would send you an invitation until you called the number on the back of the card and you began catching up. She told you that she wanted to invite you because you were a vital part of her early twenties, and it reminded you that you are both adults and you have both grown beyond what you thought possible, so you couldn’t find it in yourself to tell her that you couldn’t make it to her wedding. Instead, you told her that you wouldn’t miss it for the world. That answer though seemed to have turned destiny against you. 

You were excited when you arrived at the chapel this morning, but as soon as your foot touched the holy ground, everything went wrong. Maybe it is because you’re an atheist and God hates you, or maybe Karma just really fucking loves toying with you. Either way, when your friend’s maid of honor—also one of the few people you hung out with during your wild college days—came up to you, looking pale and panicked, you knew that the curse you always bring to weddings was only continuing to wreak havoc. 

She said to you, “One of the girls got into a car accident on her way here. Don’t worry, she’s not dead, just a broken wrist, but that means we are one bridesmaid short. I need someone to step in before Janet finds out and cuts off my head for ruining her wedding day,” and she was deadly serious about it, too.

You knew that it was a mistake to come to this wedding, especially without a date or a plus-one to fall back on. 

You were so focused on marveling at the beautiful white and golden decorations living the aisle, fantasizing about the day you might be walking down one of those that you didn’t think anything could go wrong since everything had been going so right. You should have known better than to trust that treacherous feeling of excitement that you made sure to nurture before breakfast so you could enjoy the ceremony and the party afterward without making it dependent on the open bar—although that fact did help.

Instead of dreaming about free drinks though, you’re being squeezed into a satin green dress with a low cut in the front, and someone you don’t know is slathering burgundy lipstick onto your lips. They are purposely trying to turn you into a copy of all the other bridesmaids, and you hate it. You hate it so much you get the sudden urge to scratch your eyes out and tear the skin off your lips. 

Janet, the maid of honor, comes back up to you. She’s aged at least ten years since you last saw her when she pulled you away from the aisle. You feel for her. The entire weight of this wedding rests on her shoulders. 

She eyes you, checking your outfit, before giving you a curt nod. “Thank God, you’re hot,” she mutters. You’re not sure if you were supposed to hear it. 

“Thank you?” you answer awkwardly. 

“Alright.” She fixes the corners of your lipstick. “We need to pair you with a different guy than Miss I-Don’t-Know-How-To-Drive was supposed to walk down the aisle with. Your looks don’t match. You’ll get Kathy’s partner,” she says. “And we need to line up, like, now because shit is happening in five minutes, not a second later. We can’t give Bridezilla the time to kill us all.”

With a frown, you ask, “Is she aware at all of what’s happening?” 

Janet shakes her head. “No, and it’s better this way. Trust me.”

You stop questioning her. She knows what she’s doing. 

When she guides you outside to line up, you’re not sure what to expect. You don’t know the groom, and you don’t know his friends. You’re here on your own, and now you’re part of a bridal party that you are also barely familiar with, wearing a dress that you were forced into for the sake of aesthetics. You hate when something is reduced to aesthetics because beauty has many facets, and you would have walked down that aisle with anyone as long as you could get it over with. 

Until you see him. Strikingly dark hair in a perfectly cut tuxedo that underlines the muscles hiding underneath the fabric. His eyes are hidden behind round, red glasses that reflect the sunlight coming in through the already stained glass of the chapel’s windows. In his hands, he’s holding a white cane, leaning his entire weight on it as he waits. And he waits for none other than you. 

Janet paired you with the most beautiful man on this planet, you can’t deny that. The way he stands there, his sharp jawline on full display—he looks ethereal. Just looking at him makes you sweat, and you’re starting to panic. What if she made a mistake? You can’t do this. You can’t—

“Matt,” she says and shoves you beside him into the line of bridesmaids and groomsmen. 

Janet introduces you, and then she’s gone. She pushes you into the cold water, forcing you to learn how to swim. 

He tilts his head in your direction. “Hi,” he says. The sound of his voice resembles the purr of a black cat as it reverberates, but his grin reminds you of the Devil himself. 

Fuck. Me. 

You either did something very wrong to land here, or you did everything right. 

“Hi,” you stammer. One look at him, and the blood rushes to your cheeks. Your face is burning. 

He offers you his hand. “I’m Matt,” he says as if Janet didn’t already expose that to you.

Still, you take his hand. It’s the polite thing to do. “And I’m not supposed to be here.” Mentally, you curse yourself for being so stupid.

Matt chuckles. Even his laugh sounds bittersweet. Like dark chocolate. “I, uh, gathered as much.”

“I’m sorry,” you bite your lip, “I’m not—this is really weird. I don’t even know what to say.” You pray for the ground to open up and swallow you whole, maybe that will make it less embarrassing.

His features soften. There is no judgment. You can’t see his eyes, but there is a certain softness about him that throws you off guard, but you no longer feel like you’re drowning. “If it helps, I’m only here because I helped the groom graduate law school by writing his essays, and he feels like he owes me, so…I also don’t want to be here,” he says, and he reaches up to adjust his glasses. You get a small glimpse of his eyes. They’re hazel. Beautiful. He has an aura that draws you in; it’s not just his physical beauty that strikes you.

This man—this magnetic force of a man called Matt—is a stranger. He’s a man you were paired with to walk down the aisle even though you were never meant to be a bridesmaid in this wedding in the first place. So many things are happening to and around you at once, and you can feel the flames starting to burn and sizzle away at your skin. 

You should pull yourself together. You shouldn’t stare at him. You shouldn’t listen to your heart which is hammering against your ribcage. But the emotions are already running high and you can’t possibly focus on anything else. He’s like a lifeline to you.

And God, you want him to put those calloused hands on your skin and take you to bed. But that’s not something to think about in a place of God. On the day of someone else’s wedding. Except that you can’t think of anyone else, and his proximity isn’t making the situation any better for you.

Another blush threatens to take over your features. “Oh, you’re a lawyer?” you ask.

“Yeah,” he says. “I have a firm. Nelson, Murdock & Page.”

“Here in New York?”

“Hell’s Kitchen, yeah. Me and my associates just reopened our doors to the public after a rough year.”

“Oh, that’s...cool. I’m happy for you.”

“Thank you. And what do you do, if I may ask?”

His interest takes you off guard, but you don’t hesitate to answer his question. You tell him your profession, and how you met the bride, and he listens without another word. No man has ever paid you this much attention before.

Though Janet meant it when she said that you will have to start walking in exactly five minutes, not a second longer. She passed by everyone, handing out bouquets. Green with hints of red and gold. It fits the theme. They’re beautiful, but the flowers within the bouquet become a problem when she hands you your own set. 

“Janet,” you stop her from leaving. “I can’t take these.”

“The fuck you can’t,” she retorts. 

“Seriously, I can’t. I’m allergic to Jasmines. I’ll sneeze.”

She glares at you. “Then fucking hold it.”

There is no arguing with her, and she passes by you to continue putting everyone in their places. You stare down at the bouquet, your nose already starting to itch. The smell alone is enough to make you nauseous.

To your surprise, Matt reaches for the flowers. “May I?” he asks, but he has already grabbed a hold of them.

“Sure,” you answer, curious about where he’s going with this.

“Hold this.” He guides the top of his cane into your hand.

His fingers feel along the red ribbon. He takes a whiff. There are so many scents that would be overwhelming even to someone without heightened senses due to a lacking fifth one, so you’re even more surprised when he finds the Jasmines without a struggle. He traces the petals just to make sure, and he quickly pulls the flowers out of the bouquet, tightening the ribbon around the now smaller girth in the process.

Tossing them behind one of the pillars in the corridor, he hands them back to you. “Here,” he murmurs. “For you.”

Words elude you. 

“Are you allergic to anything else?” The question is valid, considering you’re still not making a move to take the bouquet from him. 

You exhale a shaky breath, reaching for the flowers, and answer without missing another beat, “Weddings.”

That elicits a giggle from him. The sound is enough to make your heart melt. Does he know what he’s doing to you?

Matt opens his mouth to respond, but the sound of heels clicking against the marble floors stops you both dead in your tracks.

Your entire body recoils when the bride’s voice rings out, echoing, “Who the fuck mismatched my bridesmaids?”

A hand rests on your bicep, and you don’t even have to look down to know that it is Matt’s. He’s the only one standing to your right, anyway. He squeezes as though to let you know that you won’t lose your head, but you’re not so sure now that your college roommate is glaring at you in a white dress that reminds you of a pastry, and her eyes are full of fury. He can’t see it, but he would cower in fear if he did.

Thankfully, Janet pulls her aside, explaining the situation to her. 

“She what?!” she screeches. “On my wedding day? Are you kidding me?”

“Yes, because car accidents respect timing when it comes to special occasions,” Janet counters.

You snort. Matt beside you digs his teeth into his bottom lip, but even he can’t hide his amusement.

“Oh, snap,” you mutter under your breath. 

“Shots have been fired,” he says.

“I think we’re witnessing a double homicide.”

“I’m not a very credible witness. I can only describe how it sounded, unfortunately.”

Your snort turns into a laugh. The bride’s head snaps around, and you go quiet. “Sorry. I’m sorry,” you choke out.

“If she decides to throw a punch at your pretty face,” Matt’s breath tickles your ear, “I can be your attorney and sue her ass.”

This time, you’re conscious enough to slap a hand in front of your mouth to stifle your reaction. “How do you know I’m pretty?” you whisper back between little giggles.

He shrugs with a smirk of his own. “I just know.”

He’s got you wrapped around his little finger, and you have no choice but to submit.

Janet manages to bring some calm back to her friend eventually, and then it’s showtime. Right on the second, it’s time for you to walk down the aisle, and you have never been happier about a strict schedule and someone adamant about keeping that schedule for the sake of all of your lives.

Your roommate has always been a very dominant personality, so you’re aware of the things she can do when she doesn’t get what she wants. 

An 80s pop ballad begins to play. You make sure to match your pace to everyone else but also make sure that you’re not running away from your partner.

You may have been a mismatched bridesmaid, but you can’t complain about the company. 

Against all odds, the service is beyond beautiful. It’s not often you get to stand so close when two people who seem to truly love each other make a vow to be there for each other for the rest of their lives. You can’t help but shed a tear. They complement each other perfectly. Is that ever in the cards for you? Will you ever be able to have what they have? Or will you always feel like you’re not worthy of this kind of unconditional love and endless devotion—of someone wanting to spend the rest of their life with you?

You look over at Matt. The hint of a cross necklace is starting to peek out underneath his dress shirt. Of course, he’s Catholic. 

He carries himself with such a grace that puts everyone else in this room to shame. Does he know that you’re staring at him? You hope not.

After the ceremony, you lose sight of Matt in the masses. He doesn’t owe you a goodbye, but you still feel a little disappointed when you return to the dressing room and finally peel the satin dress off of your very sweaty skin. 

At the party afterward, he’s still nowhere to be found. You give up. Not that you want to spend the evening with him anyway, but you kind of do. You drown your sorrows in a glass of vodka cranberry and a bowl of olives. They taste like rotten meat, but there are too many people by the buffet for your liking. The last thing you want to do is mingle and get asked stupid questions by people you don’t even know. So, you stay back, and you watch from afar as everyone is having the time of their lives not so far away from you, but far enough for you to breathe.

“And here I thought weddings were supposed to be a joyous occasion,” Matt pipes up beside you, and you twirl around in your chair to face him with wide eyes.

You didn’t expect to see him back here. “Hi!” you exclaim. “What’re you—I thought you left.”

“Nah,” he says. “I just had to take care of some things.”

“Oh, yeah? Like what?”

He smirks. “Wouldn’t you like to know?”

“Yes, that’s why I asked.”

Folding his cane, Matt lowers himself down on one of the chairs beside you and orders himself a beer with the bartender. “Let’s just say that I have an important court case coming up and I had to make a call.”

You take another sip from your drink. “That sounds a lot more exciting than my life, to be honest.”

“You are sulking at a wedding. Thinking about an ex?”

“More like life in general.”

“Ah, yes, the eternal fear of dying alone.” He raises his bottle to yours. “I’ll drink to that.”

A laugh escapes you. “That was cynical,” you say.

“And you’re not?”

He beats you at your own damn game, and he finally gets that smile he has been vying for. 

“Are you smiling?” his voice is barely above a whisper. 

Your tongue darts out to wet your lips. “Maybe.” But the smile is audible in your voice, giving you away.

Matt smirks, nodding his head. “Good girl.” 

The sharp vodka runs down the wrong pipe. You cough. Did he just—

He did.

He pats your back, and his hand lingers a lot longer than it should. He looks so smug. Pleased with himself. That part of him is stupidly attractive to you, even though you would usually hate such cockiness in any other man. But Matt isn’t like any other man.

You apologize for your reaction, but he should be the one apologizing to you for throwing you off your game. What is he doing? You can’t read him. You wish you could because that would make this so much easier, but that’s probably the point. He wants to tease you. He wants to mess with your head. He’s a dick. A fucking attractive dick that could tell you to do just about anything and you in your flustered state would go along with it without hesitations. That’s the kind of control he has over you, and you just met. It feels like a twisted form of destiny, but you can’t quite believe it. Yet.

“Do you always do that?” you dare to ask.

He frowns. “Do what?”

“Flirt with women who were forced to be bridesmaids even though they were only supposed to be guests?”

A playful smirk plays on his lips.  

“It’s been known to happen,” says Matt.

You poke your tongue against the soft tissue of your cheek. “Cheeky,” you murmur.

“That’s also been known to happen.”

“What, being cheeky with—”

“—with women who were forced to be bridesmaids even though they were only supposed to be guests? Yes.” He’s catching on quickly.

You laugh and nod. “Yeah, that.”

“I do have to say though,” he adds, and for a second you think he might ruin the joke instead of playing it out further, but Matt is full of surprises, “Out of all the mismatched bridesmaids I’ve met in my thirty-something years of, um, living, you’re my favorite so far.”

With your hand, you start fanning your face rather dramatically. “I feel honored,” you say. 

Again, he chuckles. “You should be.”

“Why, because you’re so irresistible?”

“I was going to say that I don’t like a lot of people because, you know, they’re dicks, but that works too.”

“Wow.” You take another sip. The liquor burns its way down your sore esophagus. “You have balls, man.”

“Is that a problem?” he counters with a question.

The answer comes naturally. “No,” you say. “I like it.”

“Good.” Hearing you clink the ice cubes against your empty glass by swirling it around, Matt concludes that you need a refill. “Can I get you another drink?” he asks.

The question sounds so innocent, but the look on his face renders you speechless. His hand inches dangerously close to yours on the counter, his knee brushing yours, and the heat shoots straight to your neglected cunt. 

Fuck this.

“You could do that, or we could skip that part and just…you know.”

One brush of your hand against his thigh, that’s all it takes for him to know. 

Pushing you through the door to his apartment a few minutes later, his lips are on you. The door falls shut with a loud bang, and he presses you against the wall of his hallway. 

His lips feel like a silky cloud of lewdness. The way he kisses you is utterly erotic. Your lips part in a delicious moan that he swallows with a grunt of his own. He swallows it all, shoving his tongue into the tight confines of your mouth, and exploring every inch he can reach. He tastes you. He consumes you. 

His hands desperately search for an ounce of bare skin. He’s tugging at your clothes, sliding and tearing them aside. Once his fingers finally brush over the bare skin of your stomach, he melts. 

You tangle your fingers in his hair, pulling him impossibly closer. Your leg hooks around his waist. You can’t wait. He has ignited a fire within you that no one has been able to light before. He’s touching you with a precision that puts your former lovers to shame. He’s paying attention to your every breath and heartbeat, and with every touch, he asks, “May I?” 

You don’t even make it to the bedroom. Once he has successfully removed the bottom half of your clothes, he falls to his knees. He is a sight to behold. The disarray of colors that shines into his apartment illuminates his face, bathing it in a selection of hues that bring out his best features. 

Matt has yet to take off his glasses, and you take the opportunity to tear them away from his face. You’re gentle though. You ask him, “May I?” mirror the question he has been asking you throughout the night, and after a thick swallow, he nods.

You caress his cheek as you remove his glasses, and when you finally see his hazel eyes in all of their glory, you have to bow down to capture his lips in a soft kiss. 

“You’re beautiful,” you whisper. “So fucking beautiful, Matt.”

He whimpers. You could have sworn to have imagined it, but when you stroke his cheek with such a gentleness it almost makes him recoil in anguish, you know that you didn’t imagine the sound from his lips. You kiss it away. You kiss all of his insecurities away. You want him to feel as good as he is making you feel. You don’t know him, but you want to get to know him, and if he’s ready to surrender himself to you, you are more than ready to do the same for him. He can feel that with every brush of your fingertips and every kiss you deliver to his plump lips that taste like heaven and hell in itself.

Your words don’t leave him cold. His cock is aching in his pants—you take note of his impressionable size, which only makes you more excited for what’s to come—but he refuses to take it out. Not until you’re fully satisfied. To be honest, you could come just from staring at him on his knees in front of you, looking like he would lay the world to your feet and kill everyone who has ever dared to hurt you, but that is not enough for him. 

He needs the experience. Feeling your skin, tasting you, and breathing in all facets of your natural scent mixed with the artificial one from your shampoo. He can’t get enough of it. Of you. Of everything about and within you. He’s as attracted to your body as he is consumed by your soul. You’ve got him in a deadlock, but he would never complain about that.

You gasp when Matt grabs your thigh and throws it over his shoulder. Your panties are gone within seconds, torn on the floor somewhere. You’re completely bare to him. 

You want to warn him that you didn’t shave, but he doesn’t care. 

Before you know it, he has flattened his tongue against your pussy, and he licks a long stripe from your hole to your clit. 

“Fuck!” you cry out, reaching for support on the wall behind you.

He flicks the sensitive bundle of nerves with the tip of his tongue, testing the waters before he sucks it into his mouth. 

His grip on your thigh becomes bruising. Matt eats you out like he has been starving for years and you are his first and last meal. He sucks on your clit, and he fucks you with his tongue. Your pussy is the altar he worships at. Your arousal is his holy water. He dives deeper and deeper into the wetness between your thighs, and he moans loudly when you pull at his hair.

“Fuck, Matt–” You’re clawing at whatever you can find. It feels so good. You’re higher than you have ever been.

The sound of his mouth working your slick folds toward eternal bliss is obscene and utterly sinful. His stubble scratches against your inner thighs. The pain grounds you in the here and now, making you focus on the tidal wave that is about to crash into you and tear you to shreds. 

You can’t even warn him before your orgasm takes over, and it takes you into another dimension. You come with a shout of his name. It’s nothing short of explosive. The orgasm drags on through his mouth on your clit, relentlessly sucking until the nerves jump, and you’re begging him to stop. 

His face glistens. With every kiss up your body, Matt marks you. By the time he has reached your quivering lips, he still tastes like you.

“You did so well,” he whispers. “Such a good girl for me.”

You exhale. Without his shoulders to hold onto, you would probably lose your footing. “You’re crazy,” is all you can say. 

He smirks. “In a good way, I hope.”

“Yes. Fuck.”

“Regret coming home with me?”

“Absolutely not.”

That’s all he needed to hear. He lifts you with ease. “Then I’m going to make it worth your while.”

And when your back hits the soft mattress and silk sheets of his bed, you don’t doubt that he is going to make good on his promise. 

Matt Murdock Smut Tag List: @acharliecoxedfan @gpenguin666 @linamarr @mcugeekposts @itwasthereaminuteago @norestfortheshelbywicked @yarrystyleeza @littlenerdyravenclaw @etanordoesbullsh1t @thychuvaluswife @harleycao @schneeflocky @imjustcal @pipsqueakkitten @merlinbtch @sya-skies @amberritonicole @ravenclaw617 @pigeonmama

[cosmologicalx]

Hi! again!!

I didn't expect the last cotl sona post to be liked so much lol, I decided to redraw my sona as the god of death, this time with a more serious artstyle!! >:3

I think my lamb being really nature themed and basically cheery aka full of life is gonna be a nice contrast to The God of Death theme, they're silly like that.

also a full outfit, bro is not naked finally!!!

if you notice, my lamb doesn't have any horns, they're a bit insecure about that, most of my sonas have horns but i decided not to give them horns to make them more of a contrast of the "demon" archetype, like they're still deadly as hell if you cross them but they look a tiny bit more "innocent"

if you care i had a little doodle of leshy giving them a silly wooden horn to make them feel better, might redraw it digitally, hehe

anyways,, bonus lambleshy because i need more content of them

[pinkestmenace]

Knight Vision

Ohoho! Here they are! The sillies! I debated whether I should post this, but I think I managed to keep it largely spoiler free. (It is set after Galacta Knight settles in Dream Land.) But the eagle-eyed will find some crumbs in here. Fufufu...

(It looks like Galacta Knight has picked up some healthier hobbies. He even learned how to cook! Without burning everything this time! ...And with his stabby urges focused on his undead "roommate"/sparring partner Dark Meta Knight the rest of Dream Land is safe. Probably.)

You know, it's funny to me to make MK and DMK parallel each other and actually give them similar opinions. They're just too hardheaded to realise it yet. And until they —Nova forbid— sit down and say it out loud their bad blood won't resolve.

MK: Hmph. Galacta Knight certainly has a...lacking taste in partners. (Is my counterpart taking advantage of his guilt? I should have kept a better eye on him. If only I'd paid attention and realised he revived.)

DMK: Tsch. That feathered fool has terrible taste in men. (And that blue bastard's such a hypocrite. You never bothered to care about little messed up me before, why start now?)

GK: Ohoho! Look how small yet lively ye are from up here! Mine edgy enigmas! (Why can I not shake the feeling something terrible aileth them?)

I like to imagine Dark Meta Knight can throw his voice if he wants to. He usually sounds similar to Meta Knight (especially when he's deadly serious), but with some small differences. (He alliterates more often and uses synonyms of what MK would say. He's also a bit snarkier, if that's even possible.) I like coming up with mirror/glass related curses for him. E.g.

Fool => Dullard (a dull mirror is useless)

Instead of swearing by Nova he might swear by the Mirror's Mercy.

"Ah, cracks."

"Oh, shatter me and scatter my shards!"

"Shards, not again."

"Not a splinter of a clue."

"Let me get this crystal clear."

[kxizoku-ou]

CP9 Cat Headcanons

This is... a very silly post. XD After seeing a similar concept on Pixiv (images 10–12 in this log) and critiquing the breed choices it used, I wound up writing my own take on it.

These are written with actual cats in mind (not my usual Hybrid Au), and the breed choices are just for fun— as in, largely chosen based on looks/vibes, not anything too serious. I was definitely channeling that early 2000s "characters are cats for some reason now" mini-genre, so these are pure fluff/comedy, for once... >3>

. . .

Lucci

(Bengal)

Serial toy murderer. Violently destroys any and every toy you give him within a matter of hours, days at MOST. 

Some of the things he’s done to his toys probably qualify as war crimes tbh. Likes to drown the catnip mice in his water dish. Also enjoys tearing things into ragged chunks/”gutting” the stuffing. 

Sometimes you wake up to him on your chest with a present. 

(A chunk of mutilated cat toy. He drops it onto your face.)

The most athletic cat you’ll ever know. There is no surface in your house he can’t reach SOMEHOW. Also can and will learn how to open doors, drawers, etc, and will use this unfortunate skill to get into everything if he’s bored. 

Affectionate, but only on his terms. You don’t decide when you’re allowed to pet him; when the mood strikes, he’ll interrupt whatever you’re doing and forcefully put his body in your lap. 

You’re not allowed to move until he decides you’re done. :) 

Has a surprisingly cute kneading habit. He’ll go Baby Mode and make biscuits for hours. Sucks on certain blankets too.

Kaku

(Devon Rex)

ZOOMIES TO THE MAX.

Seemingly never sits still. Will run from one end of your house to the other at all hours of the day. At night, you’re regularly woken up by the distinct rapid thumping of galloping kitty paws.

Likes high places and unexpected perching spots. This includes your shoulder— and he can make the jump on his own! 

Playful, but not prone to destroying his toys. Prefers batting hard objects down a flight of stairs to tearing the plush ones open.

Too brave (and curious) for his own good. Lacks any sense of danger when it comes to investigating something that’s caught his interest. 

This includes slipping through the front door.

Not super cuddly, but likes being near you/keeping an eye on what you’re doing. 

Has a squeaky “old man” meow. WEH!

Jabra

(Egyptian Mau)

Wild, playful, curious, and so very destructive. If he’s not kept entertained, your property will suffer for it. 

Requires FREQUENT play and attention, but fortunately, he’s not too hard to please. Throwing a squishy ball for “fetch” can keep him occupied for hours. 

The asshole cat who will make direct eye contact with you before (very deliberately) knocking something off a shelf, then sit there smugly while you try to scold him. 

Very talkative! When he wants your attention, he YELLS, and seeing wildlife outside always brings out that excited, bloodthirsty chitter. 

Taking him to the vet is an ordeal, for everyone involved...

Doesn’t mind being pet and handled. Pesters you for affection regularly, but gets bitey when he’s had enough. :/ 

Highly territorial. Will not tolerate other cats/animals near him.

Kalifa

(Turkish Angora)

Truly the embodiment of the “disdainful gorgeous fancy cat” trope. 

Her fur is incredible, due largely in part to near-constant grooming. Do NOT interrupt her washing. 

She’ll wash your fingers too if she’s feeling affectionate. Mlem mlem mlemmmm...

Likes to be involved in what you’re doing. The kind of cat to walk across your keyboard or loaf-sit on top of stray paperwork, seemingly oblivious to how badly she’s getting in the way. 

At least your “adorable secretary” makes for good moral support!

Not overly playful, but she can be a DEADLY hunter when the mood strikes— fast, agile, and with amazing reflexes no matter what kind of toy you put in front of her. 

Weirdly fickle about when you’re allowed to touch her. Will glare, hiss, and swat at fingers if you test those boundaries.

Blueno

(Norwegian Forest Cat)

The most quiet, low-maintenance, independent cat imaginable. You nearly forget he exists, sometimes.

Not much of a meower, but has a deep, calming, rumbly purr. 

Content to curl up on a chair or in a corner and let you go about your day! He’ll alternate between napping and silently staring in your general direction; the eye contact is a sign of affection. <3

Won’t seek out attention on his own, but also won’t fight it if you pick him up and carry him around like a plushie. 

...he stays limp and docile no matter what you do to him, actually.

Needs regular brushing, or his fur starts to matt. It’s pretty much the only “extra attention” he’ll require, though, and he’s (fortunately) cooperative about it. 

Learned how to open doors at some point. You don’t know how he managed that.

Fukurou

(Persian)

R O U N D (and it’s not just fluff)

Despite being shaped like a furry bowling ball, he’s quite playful, and way more agile/fast-moving than you’d expect. 

...that energy is much less cute when his full weight lands on your abdomen in the middle of the night, however.

VERY affectionate. Will take any opportunity to lay his chin on your palm, headbutt your shoulder/wrists, put his paws on your chest so he can try to lovingly lick your face, etc— purring all the while! 

Chatty cat!! Chirps and squeaks at you non-stop; if you “respond” to him, it turns into a back-and-forth conversation with his mrrep-ing. 

Fond of high places, like bookshelves and tall dressers. 

It’s unclear how such a heavy cat manages to get up onto them, but he usually ends up yowling for help when he can’t get back down.

Kumadori

(British Longhair)

A huge, massively fluffy mini-lion of a cat, with that “polite little gentleman” face common in his breed. 

Sheds. Sheds SO MUCH. All of your clothes are covered in his fur, no matter how hard you try to keep him thoroughly brushed. 

You cannot escape the fluff. 

YOWLS. The loudest, most determined drama queen when he wants something. Acts like he’s dying if his food bowl is empty for more than half an hour, non-stop howling included. 

Extremely cuddly; wants as much attention from you as you’ll give, and will flop his entire body into your lap to get it. 

Fond of jingly toys! The louder and more annoying the bell, the better. 

If you ever have to give him medicine (be it a pill or liquid), he’s utterly betrayed. Gives you the huge, sad, miserable scared-kitty eyes for the rest of the evening, and won’t let you touch him. 

(He’s over it by morning, and back to purring in your arms. Baby.)

Spandam

(Siamese)

The ugliest purebred imaginable, and his personality isn’t better. <3

Health issues. Skin/coat problems, numerous food sensitivities, arthritis, frequent UTIs, and a crooked tail from a past injury.

King of separation anxiety. If he can’t find you, he’s HOWLING, then finding a corner to cower in until his protector is back.

Truly the embodiment of the phrase “scardey cat”. Terrified of everything from the vacuum to rustling plastic bags. Huddles under the couch, trembling pathetically, after every little scare. 

...it is kind of cute when he runs to you to “save” him, however. 

This clumsy dumbass WILL get himself hurt (in incredibly stupid ways) if you don’t keep an eye on him. Utterly oblivious to real danger.

His distressed yowling is awful, and the attention-demanding yells aren’t much better. The classic So So Whiney Baby Siamese! 

NEEDS to be the only cat in the household— he’s violently territorial, but guaranteed to end up the other cat’s punching bag once he’s pissed them off enough. 

[sheisaquarius-blog]

hello! i love your ianthony fics! for anthony’s day could you maybe do secret relationship ianthony?

thank you!! it took everything inside me not to do an angsty version of secret relationship (although who's to say i won't eventually...) but i hope you like this! it's very dialogue heavy and silly, but i do love a bit!

Courtney squints at her phone screen, zooming in on something.

“What’cha doing?” Angela asks, leaning over their shoulder. “Anthony’s Insta story?”

Shayne puts down his phone and clambers behind the two of them. “What, did he post a new one?”

“A painting one,” Courtney says, their thumb pressed to the screen to keep the story paused. “But . . . I swear . . .”

Angela glances between Courtney and the screen. “What?” he asks.

“Do you see it?” Courtney turns to Shayne.

“Right there?” Shayne points to the far edge of the easel. Angela squints, and she does see something there. It looks like something thin and gold on the shelf beneath the painting, obscured slightly by a paint tube.

“What is that?” Angela asks.

“I think . . . I think it’s glasses,” Courtney says.

“Glasses? Anthony wears glasses?” Angela can’t remember him ever wearing any, but maybe he needs them for painting.

Courtney drops her phone on the lunch table and throws her head back, hands in her hair groaning deep and guttural. “Augh!”

“You sound like Charlie Brown,” Chanse notes, looking up for the first time at the adjoining table. Amanda snorts beside him and adds, “Yeah, you do.”

“Okay, you figure it out!” Courtney shouts, shoving their phone into Chanse’s hands.

“Figure what out? What am I missing?” Angela asks frantically.

“I swear those are Ian’s glasses!” Courtney says. “I swear!”

Chanse picks up the phone and plays the story again. “I mean, maybe? Why does that matter?”

“I swear it’s not the first time it happened,” Courtney says. “Like, I’m pretty sure they were on the table in another one from a couple weeks ago.” “She’s also convinced she saw on of Ian’s jackets in a mirror reflection on a chair in a yoga story,” Shayne says.

“You guys! I’m not crazy!” Courtney insists. She leans down low over the table and instinctively Angela mimics her to hear. “I swear they’re dating.” Chanse bursts out with one loud laugh, then covers his mouth, turning a bit red, and Amanda gasps.

“What?” Angela asks. That seems kinda unlikely.

“I swear,” Courtney insists. “And it’s not just the Instagram stories. Ian said they went to dinner last week.” “That’s not that weird,” Chanse argues.

“No, but if you heard how he said it . . .” “I think we’d know if they were dating, don’t you?” Amanda asks Shayne.

Shayne shrugs. “I dunno. Truly, I think it’d be a little more obvious if they were, but I don’t know.”

“That rain sounds thing was crazy,” Amanda notes.

Angela frowns, running through the rolodex in her head. It’s a funny joke, a good bit, but maybe there’s some more that she hasn’t considered. “That face thing for the slap video?” she suggests.

Courtney whips their head to Angela aghast. “You think it’s that far back? I was thinking, like in the last two months!”

Angela holds her hands up. “I dunno, just brainstorming. But, like, come on. That was, like, weird right?”

“I thought it was funny,” Shayne says.

“I thought it was cute,” Amanda argues.

Angela is quiet for a moment, before she starts to consider the alternatives. “They do drive separately to work.”

“Well, not every day,” Courtney argues. “I’ve been keeping track—” “Courtney,” Chanse deadpans.

“No, listen!” she insists, quietly. “I swear. They drive separately every four or five days, but then they show up together on the next one. Then it’s back to four or five separate—I’m telling you, I’ve noticed. It’s not exact, but it’s just frequent enough.”

Angela hadn’t noticed that. They do occasionally leave at the same time, but she hadn’t tracked them out to the parking lot.

“You guys,” Courtney says, deadly serious even in her whisper. “I’m pretty sure they’re dating.”

“But, why wouldn’t they tell us?” Amanda asks.

Courtney goes quiet. “Huh,” they say eventually, sitting back in their chair.

“I mean, I get not sharing it with the whole internet, but us? I mean,” Amanda glances between Shayne and Courtney, “we’re not bad at keeping secrets.”

Shayne gives that a considerate nod. “True.”

Courtney’s mouth turns into a thoughtful frown, lips pouted. “I guess that’s a good point.”

“They might be Ian’s glasses,” Chanse says, nodding to Courtney’s phone. “But also, it might be some weird painting tool that we don’t know about.”

“Maybe he was over when Anthony took that one on the table. They do hang out,” Amanda adds.

“That jacket could have been Anthony’s,” Courtney relents.

“Maybe they like to carpool for the environment,” Angela adds.

The tables are quiet for another long moment before Courtney sighs. “Fine, okay, you’re probably right. But if I find out they are, you’ll never hear the end of me.”

“Hey.”

Angela nearly falls out of her chair, and by the looks of wide-eyed fear and shock, the rest of them are caught off guard, too. Angela turns and sees Ian and Anthony walking out of the meeting room across from the lunch area.

“Hey,” Shayne says, the first to recover himself.

Anthony raises one eyebrow as he appraises the group. “What, uh, what’s up, guys? Did we interrupt something?”

“No, you just scared us,” Angela lies, placing a hand over her quickly beating heart. Maybe it wasn’t such a huge lie.

“Oh, our bad,” Ian says. “Sorry.”

“It’s okay,” Courtney shakes their head. “Meeting go well?”

“Huh? Oh, yeah,” Anthony says with a grin.

“I have to get to the Games stage.” Chanse stands and gives Angela and Courtney meaningful looks.

“Oh, shit, me too!” Angela catches his drift.

“Oh, same!”

Amanda gasps loudly. “Oh no, Shayne, Selina’s gonna kill us!”

“Oh, shit, I didn’t realize what time it is!” Shayne checks his watch then begins to hustle towards the podcast stage. Amanda scrambles after him.

“C’mon, we’re not late yet but soon!” Courtney says, ushering Chanse and Angela with her.

And like a bad magic show, they all disappear.

***

Ian shakes his head. “Stupid.”

Anthony glances fondly after Courtney. “They’re so close.”

“Maybe the next one needs to be a little more obvious.” Ian brushes his elbow against Anthony’s and Anthony looks at him in surprise. That’s awfully forward at work.

Anthony grins. “I got one. How about you walk through the background of my next yoga story?” Ian laughs and nudges him to begin walking towards their office. Anthony obliges, but he still wants an answer. “C’mon, I think Courtney would actually faint.” “How about I take a pic of you sleeping in the bed?” Ian offers. “With something like ‘new sheets, who dis?’”

Anthony throws his head back and laughs. “We wanna tease her, not kill her!”

“You’re no fun, that’s gold,” Ian pouts.

Anthony licks his lips and lowers his eyelids when they enter the office and close the door behind them. “You can take a different kind of pic of me in bed if you want.”

Ian shoots him a heated look over his glasses. “I’ll be walking through that yoga story, because that one will be private use only.”

[sweettoothvn]

Hello, can you post the script about your latest audio pls ? For those english isn't their main language.

Sure thing! ^^

The setting is in a science lab and Tenylia is complaining about her day to her sister Becca who is not listening.

Tenylia: “Mr. Ravenar always makes the Bodross Biology class such a pain in the ass. I know I’m both halves of a freak of nature, but damn what do I need to know about gene mutations for??”

Becca does not respond so Tenylia keeps yapping.

Tenylia: “And THEN he rambled on and on about the silly Myconia and which one is more deadly than the other and what likes to be comfy around Jinns, I almost passed out at least twice– uh, thinking about it I might’ve because my head kissed the desk for a split second– anyway, it could kill a man if you weren’t already a nerd for the subject in general and I have a solid C, so I’m not a complete failure”

Short sarcastic 5-second pause on Becca’s device before it starts buzzing again

Tenylia: “But also if it weren’t for Eddie I have no idea how I would be able to get through it. Oh, speaking of him, I hope he’s been doing okay lately. He’s been more tense ever since he met this one guy at the Wild Witch. The dude’s a total creep by the way. You should see the way he acts around Eddie. It's… uncomfortable…”

The sounds of tech buzzing and small zaps from a pen to a board answers mostly between them

Tenylia: “On a better note though- I’m relieved that this guy seems to be distracted by something else– or rather someone else. But at the same time, I feel bad for them cause now he’s acting creepiER and hyperenergetic like he piped down a two-ton pack of steroids”

The sounds stop

Tenylia: “I see him lingering around Botanique sometimes and just… watching… He doesn’t even buy anything. He just chats with the newbie for a bit then pretends to leave. But he doesn’t. They don’t seem too bothered by it… or…. Or even worse….maybe they don’t know? What makes this awful is that they haven’t been in the Intrepid for a month and they’ve managed to capture the attention of a Gilvan?! Worst of all– a very sick one… in the head I mean. I’m just hoping he doesn’t do anything drastic like… I dunno… break into their apartment…?” 

Something snaps and Tenylia looks over to Becca, only to flinch as she sees her sister’s facial expression

Tenylia: “Did… uhm… Did I say something wrong? H-how about this, I’ll change topics-”

Becca cuts her off immediately with a serious tone, almost threatening.

Becca: “Who.”

Tenylia: “Pardon?”

Tenylia asks meekly, having not caught what her sister had said

Becca: “Who.”

Becca says more sternly

Tenylia: “Oh! T–That’s- I-I don’t think I should be talking anymore– this was a bad idea knowing how you–”

She stammers over her words, they crack a bit as she is clearly nervous and regretting having brought up the current topic. The sound of a chair creaks as Becca gets up from her chair and starts to approach Tenylia who backs away anxiously.

Becca: “Who. Are. You. Talking about?”

She says slowly, clearly not messing around as she wants the information that Tenylia is refusing to give up.

Tenylia: “Why are you suddenly so interested?!”

Tenylia blurts, feeling like a cornered animal. Becca grumbles under her breath and leans away from her sister with a sneer. Dragging a hand down her face she sighs then speaks with a frustrated but cold tone.

Becca: “....Forget it. I’ll figure it out myself.”

Tenylia begins to panic, stammering again before rushing off after her sister, her voice fading out.

Tenylia: “NO NO NO! BECCA DON’T YOU EVEN THINK ABOUT IT!!! LEAVE THEM ALONE!!”

[mythosidhesdollhouse]

So this is not the final Adora Belle I teased in a previous post--that one is still in transit--but I couldn't resist snagging this one from a $10 listing with no bids a few days ago. She seemed like an apropos (or ironic, depending on your mood) acquisition at this late date in the election cycle. I'm one of the least patriotic or superstitious people you'll ever meet (thank my radical Quaker upbringing for that), but I nonetheless found the idea of a dolly talisman again potential doom next week an appealing if silly notion. I may indeed even be formulating a plan to set her up on an altar this coming Tuesday with a tiny Statue of Liberty and Athena and a LOT of blue candles....

But aside from those ridiculous (but also deadly serious) shenanigans, the ACTUAL, practical reason why I bought her is that as one of the large 15" vinyl Adoras she'll fit one of the extra outfits I got in that big AB lot last week. So once she'd finished doing her patriotic duty she can relax in some more dignified pink satin along with her sisters ;p

(P.S. Her bell is porcelain! And has a working clapper. The constant tinkling every time I move her is amusing.)

[anzynai]

Hey! I’m so happy to see that a tkl writer is into TWST! There are barley any fics and hcs on here and I’m STARVING! If you’re taking requests can you please write some hcs for the dorm leaders? Thanks!

Housewarden Tk Headcanons (Twisted Wonderland)

HELLO!!!! my requests are closed so normally i would have to decline this ask.. but i guess it’s ur lucky day anon because i’m actually obsessed with twst and this is my first request from this fandom so… enjoy! i love all these losers so there’s gonna be a good amount of hcs in this post LOL i’ll count it when i’m finished!! HELP MEEE THERE ARE 63 HEADCANONS. um, you’re welcome i guess this took 4ever!

also it sometimes makes me laugh when i put really serious and cool photos for my headcanons and then it’s just silly little tickling but uh. yes.

Riddle Rosehearts

hello so goldfishie is at least like a 7 on the scale. his worst spots: uhhh his neck (IDK I THINK IT SUITS HIM) and his sides!!

who tickles him the most? let’s see. floyd and trey are tied. but occasionally, if duece and ace see trey tickling riddle, they’ll join in as well.

it’s kinda funny when he’s tickled bc he gets angry (even when he’s enjoying it) so he’ll be like “let go of me this instant” and be disappointed when they actually do. however, he has too much pride to admit he didn’t actually want them to stop.

though he doesn’t always like being tickled. like, floyd has a habit of just tickling people whenever he feels like it no matter the time and place, which sometimes puts riddle into incredibly awkward and embarrassing situations.

he bites his lip to conceal his laughter but it’s like a river cuz the second a giggle slips out and it will, it’s over. he’s dead, he’s dying.

u know those people who want to retaliate so so bad, but they don’t dare think of it because they KNOW that they would receive it back tenfold?? well maybe that’s a little specific so u might not know people like that BUT RIDDLE IS LIKE THAT

but bro just needs more confidence bc the times he has tickled someone, he becomes an absolutely menace. he somehow has some kind of instinct for the best spots.

he can’t really tease all that well unless he’s really in the mood cuz he gets flustered hshghshs

Leona Kingscholar

sometimes this dude is like too lazy for tickles????? so this doesn’t happen too too often (but it does)

I GIVE HIM A 6!!!! his worst spots: hips and ribs (more hips thooo)

ruggie likes to tickle him to get him to wake up basically bc this dude will not get up for ANYTHING and most people don’t tickle him besides ruggie because who would dare??? anyways, once ruggie gets to his hips, he’s gone.

IDKKK I FEEL LIKE HE WOULD GET SOOO EMBARRASSED by tickling like that’s one of the only times u will see his face bright red, though he tries to hide it like he will look anywhere but at u lol

kinda scary if he gets u back tho cuz bro has no shame. all he cares about if that u are thoroughly wrecked. (this fact does not work well in ruggie’s favor, but how else is he supposed to get leona to wake up?)

he is a bit on the tougher side when tickling but never enough to actually hurt you

and somehow he’s a deadly teaser and knows how to hit it where it hurts?? flusters???? IDK sometimes it feels like he can read ur mind and know exactly what will incite the best reactions out of u and uses that to his advantage while he’s tickling u to death

his favorite thing about tickling is honestly getting to see the reactions on his victims face LOLLLL

Azul Ashengrotto

hi azul ashengrotto is my fav ever and that’s irrevelevanf but u should know anyway also he’s an 8 tbh on the ticklishness scale. (if i had my way, it would be 11/10 but i just can’t lie to myself)

his worst spot: HIS TUMMY AND HIS SIDES??? generic, i know. he hates it, because it’s the go-to spot and so right off the bat EVERYONE who ever tickles him knows his worst spot

he lowkey hates this laugh (no he doesn’t, he’s just embarrassed) cuz he snorts and like??? this sly, cunning businessman.. don’t tell me he… snorts when tickled..? wait he’s ticklish? YES HE IS AND YES HE DOES and he is so embarrassed by it

i feel like he probably would write a contract to keep someone from revealing his secret. that would be funny.

floyd and jade know and they’re ALWAYS using it against him. it’s like their main method of annoying him cuz what better way to mess with their boss than tickling?? well, they also use it for cheer up tickles mostly when he’s feeling self-conscious.

bros the type to like.. cover his mouth to try and hide his laugh. he’s not fooling anyone, everyone can hear his concealed laughter. it’s really easy to get his hands to move anyway, because if u get his worst spots, or occasionally armpits, he will be too busy trying to pry ur hands away lol but his face gets pretty red

he’s a sweet ler tbh i feel like he gives gentle tickles and never pushes the lee too far yk? like since i imagine him being really good at reading people, he will be observing their reactions the whole time so he can tell when they’re nearing their limit

that said, he’s a pretty mean teaser. he builds it up so u think it’s not bad at first but somewhere along the lines, he manages to say the most embarrassing things with no shame. “i guess it’s fitting for someone so adorable to be so ticklish.”

he tickles floyd and jade sometimes. sometimes when he’s in a bad mood, he takes it out on them by tickling them. again, never going too far tho.

he’s also the type to like gently and quickly scribble someone on their back or neck.. or poke them in the side as he’s walking by or if he’s trying to get their attention? ofc he only does this with close friends (and jamil bc my azujami heart can’t help it)

ANOTHER AZUJAMI HC BUT TICKLE HUGS AS THEY CUDDLE

Kalim Al-Asim

bros def a 9… 9.5??? SOMEHWEEE ALONG THOSE LINES. anyways, he’s very ticklish.

worst spots: def his chin and his thighs.

ALSO IDK I FEEL LIKE EVERYONE CAN TELL BUT HE DEF LOVES TICKLING. he likes being tickled, he likes to tickle, just he’s like “it’s a fun way to bond with friends”

if only jamil could agree. kalim jumps him and ambushed him with tickles. but it’s fine, because jamil absolutely wrecks him when kalim isn’t behaving or is being lazy. (why are kalim and leona so similar aka don’t wanna do shit sorry that’s mean but am i wrong)

kalim has a really loud laugh but it’s very distinct compared to his regular laugh, which is also very loud. many times, his laugh can be heard throughout the dorm and the students just sigh cuz they know what’s going on.

also i feel like kalim would be the type where after being absolutely destroyed, he’d be breathless and struggling to catch his breath and still be super energetic and all like “wow you got me good!!!”

can i say kalim sneak attacks???? like esp with jamil, but all of his friends always fear the wrath of kalim because they could be doing literally ANYTHING but he just pounces and tickles them whenever they least expect it

while most times he is pretty caring when tickling someone, there are times he gets to wrapped up in it and goes a bit overboard and someone has to stop him. afterwards, he feels super guilty so he will shower u with aftercare, hugging you and apologizing nonstop, offering snacks, you name it.

his tickles tend to be on the rougher side but not enough up hurt. it used to, but after realizing that some people don’t like it like that, he eases up a bit. since i said before that he sees tickling as a bonding activity, he wants to make sure that everyone’s having fun.

Vil Schoenheit

sorry i love vil he is so so pretty UHH BUT I THINK IM GONNA GIVE HIM A 4. idk i just can’t see him as all that ticklish.

unless….. UNLESS U GET HIS RIBS. the shrieks he lets out if u get him there are actually insane

rook is actually the most devious and feared tickle monster in all of NRC (REAL, NOT LYING) and unfortunately, vil is one of the people who suffers the most from his tickly endeavors. and sometimes it’s a bad thing and sometimes it’s a good thing.

first of all, vil isn’t all that embarrassed about being ticklish. now, that doesn’t mean he wants the whole world to know. he’s alright with being tickled or tickling someone as long as it’s in a private space.

he still blushes like a hyena tho (i don’t think that’s an actual simile but for some reason it was the first thing that popped up in my mind so it’s staying) but he will still be like “if you’re going to do it, just get it over with…” meanwhile his heart is pounding

expectantly, i mean who would have ever guessed, vil has the most graceful, beautiful, angelic, harmonic laughter anyone who’s tickled him has had the honor of hearing. it’s like a reward, not to mention the fact that sometimes it can be difficult to find spots that make him laugh. after all, most generic spots like his sides, can only incite a huff maybe?

he is like scarily good at keeping still while being tickled (the other housewardens could never). umm so any “keep your arms up” games that go on, he’s probably going to win LOL

pretty good ler but doesn’t do it too often. really only rook and epel, sometimes he thinks it’s a bit childish (even if he enjoys it)

BUT BUT BUT when he was training epel with etiquette, he would like scribble on epels back to get him to stand straight or yk just things along those lines. and for rook, he just goes crazy. (somehow he still manages to look gorgeous while doing it)

surprisingly gentle tickler, honestly it’s crazy. sometimes it feels like he isn’t even touching u with how light it is, which honestly just makes it worse because he makes u anticipating (i have no idea how to word this) yet still giggling and laughing lol

Idia Shroud

oh shit, this man. he’s so. 10.

he’s so extremely ticklish. like everywhere. except for his feet and neck. yay, the two spots people barely go for when he’s being attacked. like yeah, for the neck maybe a little scratch or scribble here and there but when he’s being wrecked, that’s not where people tend to tickle him.. how lucky.

blushy boy. his hair is red his face is red his ears are red. he wouldn’t even be as flustered if he was.. A LITTLE LESS SENSITIVE??? but when he’s laughing like a hyena (is this where i got the simile for the other one) he can’t help but feel ashamed

he loves it tho like i can tell u idia shroud loves being tickled and while he would never say it, everyone and i mean everyone knows. well, everyone who’s tickled him. i mean, he never tells them to stop. of course, it can’t go on for too long or he will start feeling uncomfortable but just the right amount will have him eating it up EVERY TIME.

bro def squeals tbh while like curling up

who’s that btw? the people who tickle him? let’s see: ortho (ofc, little bro always loves seeing his brother happy) and azul on occasion (when he’s feeling like a sore loser after a game he lost).. well this doesn’t make everyone a lot of people now taht i think about it. BUT MY POINT STILL STANDS

how could someone live being so flustered by tickling. yk those ppl in the community who struggle to say the word tickle? that’s him. idia shroud reads tickle fics!!…. okay maybe not, but he definitely blushes at the word “tickle”

he gets embarrassed tickling people back. unlike vil who rarely does because it’s “undignified”, he doesn’t it too because he’s too embarrassed. he’s never tickled azul (he wants to tho i swear) and he can’t tickle ortho because when programming ortho, he didn’t really have tickling in mind so obviously, he didn’t add anything like that in (he should tho and give ortho have a taste of his own medicine)

i feel like he would be an awkward tickler who slowly turns sadistic the more confident he gets, esp with the teasing. “hehehe, you’re a lot more ticklish than i thought. this is nice.” with a somewhat terrifying grin on his face

Malleus Draconia

i think i’d like to give him a 2 but when lilia is tickling him, it’s a 5? idk he’s not super ticklish and doesn’t get tickled often. also lilia has some kinda power that makes his ticklishness switch.. not really. he doesn’t know how it works either.

LILIA STILL LOVES TICKLING HIM THO and occasionally silver will join in if he’s not sleeping lol and sebek wouldn’t dare (even tho he wants to so so badly)

i think malleus has these super breathy buffs and giggles that are honestly so. just… damn. just wow. idk while they’re not the giggles most people would expect, it’s the kind of laugh that makes u want to keep doing it.

he lets u tickle him (as long as ur not some rando like y’all gotta be friends obv) but he doesn’t mind when lilia decides to tickle him

teases aren’t all that flustering to him either i feel like he would be the type to agree tbh. like lilia says “ur quite the ticklish boy aren’t you” and malleus is like “haha you’re right”

sweet ler, thinks it’s fun. he thinks u think it’s fun too. idk he just wants to have fun and he likes hearing people laugh and seeing them smile, but stops if they’re not enjoying it. also he is a gentle tickler.

honestly i feel like he wants to be in a tickle fight so bad but doesn’t because people are scared of him and that’s silly. idk lilia provides him with a lot of tickles and lilia lets him tickle him too if he’s feeling it, so he’s not all too down about it. he’s occasionally tickled even silver and sebek too (much to their embarrassment)

he doesn’t really tease he just smiles and it’s really cute and it makes u want to let him keep tickling u cuz he looks so happy which is just contagious and yes.

[briarberrythornedhart]

No Peeking - A Tiny CYOA

Obviously, Eddie Munson takes D and D deadly seriously. Second session in and you could tell - where everything else is borderline a joke to Eddie, D and D is not.

Like, he isn’t content with the standard issue Advanced D&D Dungeon Master Screen.

Yes - He uses it, but he also made his screen wider to hide all his plans, baddies, and campaign notes. He’s got books propped up and a three ring binder and he’s got clips to hang things on the screen that no one can see. He’s made himself a cave.

Nay, a fortress.

Which is probably why he spends most of Hellfire crouching in his throne, or sitting on the throne arm, to be able to see the players reactions.

“Thank you for not... peeking.” He says, coming up to you after the game, rubbing his hand on the back of his neck under his curls. Not making eye contact.

“Sorry... not peeking at what now?” You say, nervously, because you HAD BEEN Staring at Eddie most of the game. Looking at his eyes, his lips, his yummy tattooed arms, sometimes down at his slutty whore knee so close to you so exposed by his ripped jeans and generally wanting to bite it...

“Well, you always avert your eyes from my DM stuff, like when you get up during a break, or if you need to come closer to move your mini or roll a die.”

“Why would I look? I don’t want to see what terrible shit you’ve got ready to ambush the party so I can worry about it before it happens. I gotta stay nimble.” You shook out your hands.

Eddie laughed. Maniacally. Then, mercurial as ever, he got serious. “Well... it’s appreciated. Because sometimes you get... close and I almost wanna just show you everything. Expose all my plans and show off what I’ve been cooking up and... I drop my guard with you. Usually I’m more careful. But something ‘bout you gets past my defenses. It’s not stealth - like - your real life dexterity isn’t great....” Eddie shook his head, pursing his lips.

“I know I’m clumsy, sometimes, you don’t have to rub it in.” You try not to pout. But that sounded so sweet until he was insulting you.

“No, no no, I mean, I just trust you. And I probably shouldn’t, I mean look at you. You’re waaaay to cute to be trust-worthy. You’re probably up to NO Good.” He made that face that he makes when he is trying to get someone’s goat. But he’s just called you cute, so all is forgiven.

Do you:

Protest “I am entirely up to good. There is no correlation between cuteness and goodness - look at your fine self! I don’t assume you are Evil just because you are gorgeous.” 🌟

Or

Do you tease Edward Munson about his DM screen, “No one can see anything behind your screen, anyway. What monster are you hiding back there??” 😉

——

If you respond or like my post I will write more silliness about it. Is that a promise or a threat? ::Shrugs::

[clumsiestgiantess]

I came up with a rather angsty story for the Takeover Scenario universe, but the problem is I’d have to create ANOTHER new set of characters for it even though I haven’t posted everything I have written for the OTHER new set of characters.

So.. have this synopsis instead!  If y’all vote on it, I’ll start working on this story universe again! (And for any of you who are big fans of Julie and Ellie I do have their backstory finished that'll go up first!)

I was thinking up some Tom & Jerry scenarios between a Survivor and a person trying to chase them out of the house.  At first it’s a completely and deadly serious chase.  The Survivor hates ‘giants’ for destroying their world and tries to harm them and steal from them as much as possible.  The human is obviously quite angered by that and also the fact that the fighting wouldn’t have happened if Survivors hadn’t tried to take their world first.  (if you want the lore behind all that fighting go read the very first story lol)

However, as the Survivor keeps finding sneakier more loony toons ways of getting back in and the person finds more ridiculous ways to chase them down, they form a sort of silly bond where they both don’t actually want to hurt the other anymore, they’re just competing eachother for how outrageous they can be with their traps.  What else are they gonna do, talk to eachother?  They don’t speak the same language and neither wants to learn how.

Suddenly.. WHACK  The planned swing-and-miss of the human’s broom actually hits the Survivor after they accidentally dodged into the broom’s path.  The tiny person gets thrown forcefully into the wall beside them, and crumples to the ground.  The human skidds to a halt and stares in horror at their funny little creature who’s now unconsciously slumped against the wall with blood dripping out of their nose.

On instinct they rush to start patching them up — carefully wiping the blood from their face and getting ice to put over the bruises blooming across their back.  Halfway through, they snap out of their urgency and realize that they actually genuinely care about this creature which, despite what scientists and reporters say, seems a lot more like a person than a slightly more intelligent animal.

By the time the Survivor wakes up, the human fully intends to let them stay.  However, to the injured Survivor, their little game suddenly hit square one again — where all that fighting was actually dangerous and completely serious.  They scramble upward despite the black spots dancing through their vision and desperately try to rush away somewhere hidden.  Meanwhile, the human is trying to chase them down — not to hurt them — but to show them that they actually just want to help.  

Maybe the Survivor manages to escape them and passes out, still believing that the ‘giant’ actually wants to hurt them.  Or maybe the human manages to catch them by the arm and calm their struggling down enough to realize that there’s been a change in heart.  Or maybe the Survivor passes out before they manage to get away and wake up in a box; to the human, it’s a safeguard against them trying to run away and hurt themselves again even further, but to the Survivor, it’s a sign that they’ve actually been captured this time.

No matter what happens, angsty language barrier misunderstandings ensue >:)

[purplekoop]

So the point of my last post was to (roughly) dissect what makes joke options in games such an anomaly. It's an interesting design space when something is initially designed for comedic value before anything else, but then goes on to actually be taken seriously as an inevitable consequence of being in a game people play against each other. So as a game or series goes on, it has to be considered how to make a "joke" option without wasting a character or weapon slot. If someone likes something unique about a throwaway joke version of someone like Pichu or Dan, then why not try and take the character seriously to make a genuinely interesting character? In that sense deliberately making a joke option feels like a waste, since at some point you could've just made a serious option instead while still having an innately "comical" idea that's still entertaining. Dan doesn't stop being Dan just because he's not Z-tier, because there's more to the joke than him being suboptimal.

So... what did I have in mind for War Bots?

Well, the idea is that every character has one gear option that's just. Silly. Not necessarily awful, but not intended to be more than a gimmick or for comic value. If a gag weapon isn't super seriously viable then it's not much of a concern to fix that. Basically, the idea is to use it as a free space to make a weapon that doesn't have to be seriously useful, just entertaining.

I think an early part of this idea was to give Yanno a Rocket Jumper equivalent, as in a practice tool that does no self damage... or any damage at all, and was just useful for practicing rocket jumping or for having a gimmick build focused around free hyper-mobility at the cost of reliable damage. I didn't want to dedicate one of his precious few actual weapon slots to a training tool or meme playstyle enabler, but it still felt like an important niche to have. Hence, the gag weapon slot.

Another early idea for this concept was for Arber. This requires some context though, since it's an alt of an alt weapon. Instead of a plantable Plantoid companion that heals all allies in an area gradually over time, Arber can instead bring a Spring Bloom, a large flat flower-shaped Plantoid that gradually heals allies at a slow rate while standing on it, and also acts as a jump pad for his team only. I then had the funny idea for what if he could instead place down an almost identical-looking flat flower plantoid, but as a trap for enemies instead of a boost for allies. Essentially a Junkrat trap, where the petals of the not-so-friendly bloom ensnare the victim in place for a few seconds. The main differences are that the damage is applied over time instead of a single burst as the plant sucks the life out of its victim, and that other enemies can attack the plant mid-chew to free their teammate early. The drawback over its counterpart is that while it still heals allies, it doesn't give the jump boost, and has a longer cooldown upon being destroyed, which it does automatically after snagging an enemy. Still a funny idea, where an almost identical entity can be either a harmless team support option or a potentially deadly trap, and enemies have to have the game sense to know whether it's safe to ignore if needed or if it absolutely requires taking the time to get rid of it. That kind of paranoia is funny.

The third gag weapon idea actually used to be a completely serious one for Wilderoad's weapon slot. Context here is that Wilderoad's secondary fire used to be a springing punch ala ARMS, which was scrapped due to being kind of pointless for a character with a revolver. Their basic melee attack may still have some extra reach and a knockback effect to fulfill their springy theming, but the right click was replaced with a more interesting and useful trick shot using the revolver itself. The gag idea though is to take spring punch melee and the extended reach alt fire, and have that replace their gun. The Lead Fists, a revolver replacement (in the form of heavy-duty gloves) that makes your primary fire a souped-up version of your usual melee attack, while your secondary fire is the old ranged extendo-punch. Throw in a health and/or speed boost, and just like that Wilderoad turns from a mid-ranged generalist fighter to a melee combatant with a hard range limit but no need for ammo. A concept that *could* warrant a whole character, but could just as easily be a niche satisfied by making it Wilderoad's throwaway slot.

An even sillier concept that doesn't even make any physical sense is some kind of "make big" buffing ability, with no specific bot in mind for it yet. The idea came in part from Zarya's recent April Fool's change, where her shields enlarging her target was funny but didn't really accomplish much aside from making it easier for enemies to hit, which is a good thing for Zarya's bubbles at least. Ideally a gigantifying buff makes the recipient *feel* big and powerful, giving buffs like a health buff and possibly a damage boost but with the innate downside that you become an easier target. Due to there being a major downside at all, along with an otherwise potentially jarring perspective change, I feel like this feels more appropriate as a pickup item that teammates can choose to avoid if they don't want it. Because of that I feel like it'd fit best for Sorsier or Burnett, whose throwables already work like this, or could be modified to do so. I think my only real concern with an ability like this is navigating maps. If this was a real item, every map in the game would have to be completely traversable with every character *with the size buff*, which is just a lot of work for a gag weapon. Maybe an easy solution could just be that crouching is enough to go under any doorways or ceilings, or maybe it's just a downside that you can't fit into some places with the buff active. I can't tell how dumb that is so that's why this thing is thoroughly in gag weapon territory for now, and it's lucky to have that much.

Conversely, some kind of shrinking item could be funny too, but the issues are less with practicality and more with balance. Making a target harder to hit is a pretty substantial advantage, but a more annoying one than most other buffs, and also one that you can't attach other upsides to as convincingly you can with making someone bigger. If it's meant to be a debuff then why would you want to give the enemy such a substantial advantage in addition to something like a damage and health debuff. The pros and cons are just a lot for a team-based real time game and sound potentially frustrating in practice. Not really considering it at all at the moment.

Also obligatory detail is that these weapons would be added on April Fool's days, though would still be unlockable and usable all year round.

But yeah, those are just my less-than-serious weapon ideas for War Bots. I think some of these could have a genuine serious use, but they don't necessarily have to, they can just be fun without needing to be "viable" or anything, or without needing to feel like a real weapon slot. Ideally these are relatively easy and quick to add, otherwise some of the opportunity cost of dev time becomes questionable. I also don't really have more ideas past this yet, but would like a gag weapon for every character just for the sake of consistency. But eh, we'll see.

[jimmyandthegiraffes]

for the wip ask meme: "WIP sweet revenge" sounds like a more than good bet for being starsky & hutch fic, so i'd love to hear about that! 👀

helloooo tysm!!!! u r correct it is s&h!!

so i actually dont rly know where im going with this fic but it's set in the weeks and months following sweet revenge, based on an idea a friend of mine and i talked about many years ago of hutch getting sick while starsky is recovering. i'm sure it's been done to death haha but i'm a sucker for this shit.

“The world ain’t gonna end because you’re sick for a week, Hutchinson. Not if you’re sick for two weeks, a month.”

“You sure?” Hutch rasps. If he could sound flippant, he would, but he sounds deadly serious.

He also sounds awful, and Starsky tells him so, to his face, bluntly. “You look like crap, and you sound like crap. The world can take it.”

“I’m sorry,” says Hutch. “I didn’t mean to – ” When he tries to sit, Starsky pushes him back down. He’s grateful that Hutch doesn’t resist too much – if it came to a contest of strength, Hutch would still win, even as sick as he is. Starsky’s not up to wrestling, but Hutch has seen enough in the last few months to know the cardinal rule of this game: no engagement Starsky can't match.

There's a lil snippet! The fic focuses on Hutch's feelings of responsibility, and his fears of failure and inadequacy, and Starsky's feelings of frustration and exasperation - mostly good-natured (Hutch is silly).

bonus also from survival WIP which is my other s&h WIP from that list:

When he wakes, he’s not sure that he has. There’s blue sky and it’s fuzzy at the edges. His head throbs and he can feel his heart beating, fast and fevered, in every part of him. There are black spots dancing in his vision, and he blinks hard to try and clear them away, but instead they come into clearer focus. They’re buzzards, far off, high in the warm air-currents. Buzzards. Hutch lies still and tries not to feel fear. Struggling makes the claustrophobia and the heat and the pain and the dust and the thirst crush him downwards, like being buried alive. He breathes, in and out, over and over, and watches the buzzards. They’re a long way off, just specks in the sky, really. Just specks in the sky. He was going to think about death. He was going – Starsky is going to find a dead body. He can’t call anything much to mind. They didn’t know, you don’t know, nobody knows who he is or where he is or what he wants. Help me, I’m going to die here. I’m going to die. The buzzards are black spots, they’re specks in the sky. There were thousands of them. They were living in tents. Sonny is gone. The war is over.

idek what to say abt this, I wrote it I think winter 2021 and I keep trying to find the inspiration to finish it. it's rly just a thinly veiled excuse for me to write in my fave theme - characters who for whatever reason (in hutch's case dehydration and pain) experience a disruption or abstraction (permanent or temporary) in their normal thought patterns, which creates a perfect crucible to explore a scene on a deeper level through a character's distorted viewpoint. smth about looking at something sideways to see it more clearly - when a character is somehow in an altered state it can be easier to tease out interesting threads from them

but anyway i loveeeee the radio thing that hutch is listening to as he's driving at the beginning it rly stuck w me and i wanted to find a way to have it stick in hutch's mind too even if he's not paying attention to it consciously

pick a WIP from this list and send me an ask and I'll post a snippet or share smth about the fic!!