#this post is more a critic on sjm than on feyre stan's

[lainalit]

I saw Feyre Stan's claim that Feyre is the chosen high lady of the night court because of the kernel of magic Rhysand gave her in the first book since she could revitalize him in Acowar. 

So in this hypothetical scenario of Rhysand dying in Acowar, she would have been chosen by the land as the new high lady of the night court. But what would have happened if, for example, Beron died in Acowar and Feyre was chosen as the next Autumn Court high lady since she has the kernel of him and every other high lord?

This would bring a whole new problem into the mix that Tamlin already addressed in Acomaf in a sense, but the fandom and the narrative dismissed that Feyre would be hunted, not because of her powers per se but because she could snatch up the high lord's titles from the different high lord's family lines without ever being a citizen of their court, not knowing their costumes, their culture, their traditions, etc.

It could make feyre High Queen of Prythian in a literal sense, and as this is Sjm, we talk about who already has colonizer remarks from her supposed hero characters in both Acotar and her other book series. I wouldn't be surprised if she would go that round. 

Also since nobody, including Sjm bc she literally admitted to not outlining her books and writing based on vibes, knows how any of this stuff is going to work out. 

It brings more problems within the already contracting and retconned world building of the series if feyre's high lady title isn't a formality.

[ladydeath-vanserra]

New Blog Bio:

I do not tolerate pro-israel, zionist shit anywhere near me. I don't tolerate anti semitism anywhere near me. I will not tolerate anyone who is upholding or supporting the ethnic cleansing and genocide of the Palestinians. if you do, BLOCK ME

if ur gonna follow or interact with my blog pls realize I am very critical towards most acotar content, especially if it involves Rhysand. I am more-or-less a Rhys Anti until further notice and I am hard-core side eye towards Cassian until Rhysand is held accountable for being a shitty person for more than like *checks notes* two pages

I'm not a Tamlin Stan, nor do I particularly care for him, but I have been engaging in thoughtful criticisms of his actions often which involves character analysis so you v likely will see that pop up every now and then

likely you will find:

anti Rhysand

anti/critical IC

anti/critical/pro feyre

anti/critical Cassian posts, maybe MAYBE pro cassian

critical/pro Azriel- I'm pretty neutral towards him

anti/critical/pro elain content [often. w/o being tied to a ship]

pro Lucien

pro Nesta

pro Eris

most pro tog characters

anti/critical chaol (he just annoys me with his high horse)

Pro Ships:

Azriel/Eris/Nesta

Tamsand (lmao)

Feylin [book one]

Elucien

Nesta/Lucien [idk the ship name]

Feycien

Feyssian

Mesta

most tog ships

aelin/manon

malide

chaorian

Anti Ships:

Nessian

Feysand

Elriel

lysaedion

chaolena

My Specific ACoTaR Meta:

SJM + Eugenics + Ableism in her Writing

CoN + the Eternal Perpetuation of Abuse and Toxicity

SJM and the vilification of Ireland in acotar and tog

SJM could have had the HLs give their power to resurrect her wo Rhys forcing them if she played by Faerie Rules

Rhys physically assaulted Nesta

Class Warfare + Class Traitors in ACoTaR

Rhysand + Morally Grey Behavior

My Meta / Aus / etc Posts

tag -> #justice for poor cassian and poor archeron Sisters

tag -> #glasses!elain propaganda

tag -> #slavic archeron Sisters au

tag -> #fix cassians characterization challenge

tag -> #scottish!tamlin

tag -> #welsh!rhys

tag -> #disabled!Cassian

tag -> #my acotar world building

tag -> #appropriated faerie lore in acotar

tag -> #hybern Ireland

tag -> #white feminism in acotar

tag -> #eugenics in acotar

tag -> #eugenics in tog

tag -> #classism in acotar

Other Acotar Meta:

Mor SA'd Cassian

tag -> #acotar tiktok meta

tag -> #acotar meta

tag -> #racism in acotar

tag -> #Nesta is not an alcoholic send tweet

Other:

A Synopsis of The Ballad of Tam Lin

Other Fandoms:

TVDverse:

leave season 1 Caroline ALONE. she deserved better 🥺

Damon and Rose's Friendship that is ALL

"He's the 'good brother'. I'm the 'bad brother'" Salvatore Brothers meta

Esther is Mikaels victim too stop this irritating 'Esther is the real villain'

tag -> #can we stop the overt vilification of Esther Mikaelson and the UwUization of Mikael Mikaelson

tag -> #tvd tiktok edits

tag -> #Damon Salvatore

tag -> #Caroline Forbes

tag -> #Vincent Griffith

tag -> #Shelia Bennett

Bridgerton:

It's Loving how Nuanced Portia is Hours

tag -> #Portia Featherington

Shadow and Bone / Six of Crows:

The Darkling Meta

tag -> #David kostyk

Once Upon a Time

tag -> #cora mills

The Hunger Games / A Ballad of Songbirds and Snakes:

Coriolanus Snow Meta

tag -> #thg tiktok meta

tag -> #coriolanus snow

tag -> #reaper ash

tag -> #wovey

Percy Jackson

tag -> #nico di Angelo

completely irrelevant:

tag -> #rural iowa

more to be added!

[ofbreathandflame-archive]

Don’t even get me started on the I am a Feyre Stan first🤓👆🏻community.

hi anon!!!

i got this a couple days ago and i earnestly laughed because of the 10/10 emoji use.

but to your point, i would say something similar (i got the other anon and will prob post a response by the end of the week...hopefully hehe)

in short "feyre first' or "feyre shooter" = rhys stan. i wouldn't pay any mind to it, you'll just be getting 'pro rhys' propaganda.

its just....its never actually true. like first, we should established what it even means to like feyre 'first.' if you're saying that you're a feyre fan first and foremost....where's the outcry? where are the metas? we can comb through the anti rhys/rhys critical tag from the past 2-3 years since the book was released and you'll see none of those 'feyre first' accounts doing the leg work to actually decry the injustice done to her character. allllllllllllll the way back in 2021 we talked about how sjm's obsession with rhys was a detriment to feyre's character. and its only gotten worse. in the last interview, sjm gushed abt rhys...how much was said about feyre in relation?

she described rhys as 'glorious night' and feyre was just...there.

rhys sat there and read out those items while feyre sat back and cried. rhys literally laughed and joked about fucking feyre when he was called out for...consistently undermining her. he lied to her about her own body, he locked her in a shield, withheld the reality of her pregnancy and then mandated that everyone...including her own doctor not tell her anything about it. in that same book he ONLY takes said shield off in the MOST DANGEROUS part of his territory (which defeated the purpose of the shield as a safety precaution, but reinforced the objectivity of the shield; feyre is rhys's possession). yeah the baby might kill her, but he has no problem parading her around in little more than scraps, and removing his shield so EVERYBODY knows he fucked her. that's actually insanity.

like this is...abuse. it just is. even if feyre was 'happy' or 'agreed' these are still abusive behaviors. abuse is a reflection of the abuser, not just culmination of an expected response. feyre 'agreed' relcutantly to tamlin and his controlling behaviors. she was even happy during some of those moments...he was still an abuser.

literally after silver flames was released those accounts flocked to justify the behavior instead of yknow....defending the person who was quite literally the biggest victim of the entire book. they enabled the behavior of rhys and his shield and his violence by constantly justifying it.

as i said in the initial post, if you are a feyre stan and you'd had these exact concerns, even in the back of your mind, this is not for you. this specifically for those who use a weird sense of 'faux' feminism (if we can call it that) to deflect from the role rhys plays in the abuse of feyre.

[nestastits]

I feel like we should divide Nesta stans into two, you are either a Pro-Nesta Nesta stan, or an Anti-IC Nesta stan. There is no in between.

When I first got into this fandom I was starting to like Nesta, and loved her healing/redemption/growth, even if I thought the events in the books were kinda wonky and the book wasn't really for me.

Then I got here and was like SHESH No thank you... Those Anti-IC Nesta stans are so scary and bloodthirsty... God forbid you like someone else too...

Hating Rhys/Cassian and Feyre/Elain more than they like Nesta and call themselves "Pro Nesta"

I completely agree!

People are allowed to hate a character, they’re allowed to love a character and still be critical of them, it’s the way they handle those thoughts though. I’ve seen many completely disregard Nesta’s own thought process to hate on characters 😭.

I don’t get why people tell me I’m crazy or that I’m fandom policing when I say stuff about the way certain pro Nesta’s act, everyone is allowed to do what they want in the fandom but please at least know your fav character before you try to analyze them and make up a narrative to fit which characters you do and don’t like lols. Lately, it’s gotten so bad to the point antis know Nesta better than the people who claim they love her. Nesta is not some victim of the ic nor does she hate them… Nesta is also not some party girl or this rude bitch so many of her stans fit her into being 😭.

And yes I will say the Nesta stans who hate the ic can be very hard to interact with. Also, I’ve seen them complain all the time how people hate Nesta and comment under pro vids or posts of her about how they hate her… but then they do the same fucking thing on a pro ic/rhys post😐. Like you can’t complain about the other side doing it when YOU yourself do it. I think the whole anti culture has also took a toll on some of them and has made them act truly awful to others… cause being anti literally everything and just constantly spewing this hatred is not healthy at all for anyone involved.

And being anti acosf but pro Nesta cannot coexist, I’m sorry haha. But acosf is Nesta’s book, it’s her character arc that made many start loving her. You don’t have to like some of the things that happened in it but to say Nesta would’ve been better off w/o the events of acosf just shows that perhaps you don’t really understand nes that well. And also, telling people that they don’t understand real world concerns/struggles if they like a certain fictional character/couple is fucking insane… and yes I did see one of them do this and proceed to tag it incorrectly to ensure that the pro side saw.

I love Nesta with my whole heart but I also love the other characters, so it’s been very hard for me to make friends unfortunately. I think people need to take a breather and remember the books are meant to be enjoyed and so are the characters. Anyways, if you see me answer this pls dm me I’d love to be friends with you haha.

sidenote: people who criticize sjm’s work while they themselves are not authors are fucking weird and need to stfu sometimes. But also being an author AND still criticizing a fellow author for their writing style (a bestselling author too) is mean girl behavior lmao. At the end of the day, sjm is a good writer and creates wonderful stories for us to enjoy.

[bookishfeylin]

Idk if you discuss the show adaption so feel free to ignore this if you don’t but I HAVE to talk to someone about it.

I saw someone say that they want the TV show to be done to a T so that viewers can fall for Tamlin and be swept away by Rhysand. They say they’re excited for everyone to dislike Tamlin and I’m like… if you think viewers are going to hate Tamlin for what he does to Feyre (rightfully so) then they’re gonna HATE Rhysand.

Women, now more than ever, are done seeing sexual assault portrayed on screen. I mean, one of the main criticisms of GoT, from both viewers and actresses alike, was the amount of assault done to women. So imagine having everything that was done to Feyre on screen… to a T. And then to later have everything be excused under the guise of it being “for her own good”. Do you really think that women want to see that type of shit portrayed VISUALLY??? And then to have it excused??? And then have her get with her assaulter??? Yeah aight.

I hate to break it to the avid ACOTAR stans that are excited for the TV but if it follows the books exactly then this show is going to receive MAJOR criticism. There was another post I saw saying that SJM is being difficult to the writers because they keep changing stuff and it’s like… it’s for a reason. Screenwriting is different than that of writing a novel these mf KNOW what will and won’t work on screen. And it goes to show that if a lot of shit has to change about the story for it to be translated well on screen then the original source is bad💀

No literally. The booktokers may not want to acknowledge Rhysand's actions UTM as sexual abuse, but they are, and it's likely not going to be received well by the general audience--especially if Sarah is trying to sell "Tamlin is abusive but Rhysand isn't" when Tamlin is OBJECTIVELY better (not without red flags, but better) in the first book.

And by the time ACOSF is adapted... I don't think women will like Rhysand anymore, if they ever did at all. Especially in today's climate around women's rights.

[thecatsaesthetics]

Hi Cat! I came across this post [https://thecatsaesthetics.tumblr.com/post/750421623870472192/maevecrom-i-think-alot-of-the-stans-of-nesta] and I was wondering if you'd be willing to expand on Lucien's failings here? Nesta and Tamlin speak for themselves, but I've always struggled to articulate my...I suppose "frustration" would be the apt term for Lucien's actions, especially within the context of how events played out in the Spring Court.

So link to the post here:

So I think Lucien is a very interesting character at least until mid way through ACOWAR (where SJM decided to drop him).

He is incredibly cruel to Feyre in the beginning of ACOTAR, which you could claim is either because he was upset over Andras death or he was playing “bad cop” to make Tamlin look better. Either way it doesn’t make it okay, if it’s the former Lucien knew Andras was doing this to save them (and hence not Feyre’s fault) and if the latter it seems very gross to attempt to isolate Feyre into the arms of Tamlin.

Lucien then becomes genuinely became Feyre’s friend but it not enough for Lucien to want to help Feyre get out from her toxic relationship with Tamlin. In my own opinion Lucien read in ACOMAF as a third abused party; he actively wanted Feyre to stay, and keep being abused, so he had someone to “suffer” along side him.

None of this makes him a terrible person, but Lucien admitted that Feyre was a better friend to him than he was to her. That sums it up, he failed her. He saw her being abused and he did nothing. There is no excuse for that, and saying “I’ll talk to Tamlin” or “you need to give Tamlin time” is bullshit.

On top of that the earlier aspects of their relationship (how he, Tamlin, and Alis all effectively lied and manipulated her into breaking the curse) was never acknowledged by either party. However given that, like Tamlin and Alis, the entirety of the relationship came about through manipulation and isolation, it makes complete sense that their friendship more or less disappeared.

And while you cannot blame Lucien for wanting to break the curse, or even using Feyre, it was not Feyre’s responsibility to save Prythian. And like I said it makes sense that with time Feyre just grew apart from Lucien. The relationship was not built on truth, unlike her relationship with Cassian/Mor/Amren. Those relationships were not based on manipulation or an attempt to use Feyre to bring about a resolution. They built those friendships genuinely and that is why Feyre’s relationships with them only continues to flourish. One of the most important things to Feyre is truth and having truthful equal relationships (which is why ACOSF is infuriating lol).

So I wouldn’t say Lucien is the worst or he’s undeserving of forgiveness, or happiness. I would say it makes complete sense that Lucien and Feyre grew apart.

Also fyi my name is Kayla not Cat. That’s just my blog name.

[algumaideia]

SJM treatment of Tamlin and why it is wrong

You know, she treated Tamlin so bad that only because of that I became his stan. That is literally the only reason why I am pro Tamlin. Just that. 

First, Tamlin did abused Feyre and Lucien in the second book. This is a fact. So don’t say that I’m here trying to appologize an abuser because I’m not. Actually the story that I wanted for Tamlin is that Feyre kicks him and go do whatever because I don’t care about her, Tamlin feels sad then goes after her, she says how bad he was and etc, Tamlin feels depressed because he realizes she is right, Lucien brings the Tamlin out of his depressive state through the power of friendship, Tamlin tries to be a better person, Tamlin becomes Tarquin’s friend, they both rebuild their court together. You see, my character arc for him has a part where he acknowledge he was being abusive(something that Rhys never did cof cof).

Anyway let’s start with why SJM treatment of Tamlin was wrong. 

I don’t know if my post needs it, but just in case. TW: abuse, ptsd, trauma, depression, sjm bad writing.

Ptsd, trauma and abuse

You know, at the same time that I know Tamlin’s abuse was wrong and horrible I also want to ignore it because, besides the negligence, it was just bad writing. What do you mean by bad writing? Well, let’s compare Tamlin’s ptsd with Kaz and one of my main characters. Why am I going to compare ptsd when I am talking about abuse? I am going to do so because Tamlin’s abuse is caused by his ptsd. Other point, I know it is imature, but I’m very insecure about my writing and compare SJM writing with mine makes me feel better. I’m sorry about that.

Kaz passed through a horrible experience and because of that he has extreme touch aversion. But the trauma and ptsd didn’t change his personality, they weren’t responsables to make a good kid become a rough boy that is the leader of a gang. The circunstances did it (I haven’t read the second book yet, no spoleirs). Of course that the trauma changed the way he interacted with people but what made him change was the fact that he was a lonely child with a heart full of hatred and desire for vengence living in a place full of thieves and gangs. Now Jafari, my main character, also lived a traumatic experience. He has nightmares, triggers and intrusive thoughts. However, the “basis” of his ptsd is that he ignores and avoids his emotions, his grief and his trauma. He doesn’t like conflicts, he is passive, he doesn’t deal with things, he just let things solve themselves. And that’s why his ptsd is based on him avoiding dealing with what happened and trying to process what happened. 

Tamlin’s abuse and ptsd is based on three things: anger, neglect and being controlling. To be fair the neglect and controlling part makes sense, but I still have problems with them. Now the anger is so weird. I don’t remember Acotar pretty well but during all the time Tamlin was UTM he had control over his actions and feelings. Amarantha wanted to hurt him by hurting his love and his friends, she was also problaby sexually assalting him. Tamlin saw Feyre being tortured, suffering and being sexually abused and he never showed any reaction because he knew if he did that Amarantha would make everything worse for her. Considering that how his ptsd and abuse is he having no control towards his anger? It makes no sense. 

In the first book Lucien insults and makes fun of  Tamlin all the time and Tamlin has no problem with it. Not only that but his court has no ranks, not like Rhys’ court cof cof. But now Lucien can’t give him even a suggestion that he is almost killing his only friend who survived during Aramanthas reign? Sigh That’s my problem with Tamlln being a control freak. And I aslo have the feeling that SJM only put it so then Rhys could say it is your choice all the time. 

About the neglect, Tamlin was trying to rebuilt his court, was dealing with his trauma and there was also the fact that Feyre wasn’t safe since other High Lords would be mad with her for having their powers. Tamlin neglecting Feyre is logical. But people forget that Feyre was also neglecting Tamlin. As I said I don’t remember Acotar pretty well but I think that Tamlin asked how Feyre was at some point, but Feyre never did that. She was all: ohhh Tamlin knows that I am throwing up and having nightmares why he does nothing? Tamlin isn’t sleeping well too, but he never asks me how am I doing. You want to blame Tamlin for his negligence towards Feyre? Good, do it, you are right. But Feyre did the same thing. She NEVER EVER even thought to ask if Tamlin was okay, or acknowlegded that he was also suffering. 

At least Tamlin tried to communicate with her, Feyre never did that. For example he gave her paints so then she could start painting again. And this was good, Feyre was depressed and that is why she didn’t painted. One thing that depressed people do sometimes is to avoid doing things they know will make them happy. Feyre was doing that. And this was also Tamlin trying to communicate with Feyre and she just ignored it and then was angry because he didn’t know that she couldn’t stand the color red, but Rhys knew. This is so wrong.

1. Rhys only knew that because he invaded her mind and discovered something she wasn’t confortable talking with anyone.

2. She never told about her problem with the color red with Tamlin. She never talked with him. How was he supposed to know?

3. This was the perfect opportunity to talk about that with him, but she didn’t.

Tamlin's ptsd was ignored through the whole series, he was treated as the worst person ever when Rhys who did the same things was treated as the best person in Earth and his logical actions were treated as stupid.

Tamlin’s “illogical” actions

You know, there is a lot of memes that say how Tamlin was stupid to think that Feyre would like to come back to him after spending sometime with Rhys. Yeah, how dumb! Why he would think that he love of his life would like to come back to him after being kidnapped by the guy who sexually abused her for months, the guy who joined Amarantha for no reason, the guy who has been known for torturing people and having a court full of miserable fae. Hahaha so dumb!! She even sent him a letter saying she didn’t want anything with him, and he was stupid to go after her anyway. I mean, the guy known for being a psycho that kidnapped her was also able to control minds so why wouldn’t he believe in the letter? Hahahaha. *Sigh*

A lot of people criticize Tamlin for colecting taxes in Acomaf, like how could he? People first, where do you think all Rhys money came from? His work? Second, it was the first time he did it in 50 years and he postponed it a month. He was trying to get everything back to normal. Besides taxes are an important part of a governament, it is from them that the governament can make things, like hospitals, better streets(at least they were supposed to do so). SJM didn’t make it clear what a HIgh Lord job is. She said that Tamlin job is to protect the Spring Court, but in every other moment it is implied that High Lord are likes kings so I don’t know. Anyway this makes perfect sense, congratulations to Tamln.

Then he allies with Hybern and people act like he did that to take Feyre back form Rhysand. How dumb! Hahaha. He did that to save his people. The Spring Court was in a delicated position, he lost a lot of his friends during Amarantha reign and they were problaby responsable to protect the Spring Court. The agreement would protect this people, got Feyre back and made him able to spy Hybern. And this is more than Rhys did. He only tortured people to protect a hidden city, nothing more. 

In the war meeting he had the all the right to be angry, but it wasn’t nice to say that about Feyre. I won’t say anything more because I could write a whole post about how wrong this meeting was. 

And finally he helped to resurrected Rhysand and it was put as an amazing thing. But it was nonsense. Why he helped the guy who kidnapped his love and manipulated her? Why he helped the guy who sent his love to destroy his court? Why he helped the guy who allied with Amarantha for no reason? Why he helped the guy who is known for being a monster for years? Specialy condering that this guy could get his powers. And after that Rhys decieded to visit Tamlin and make him more miserable than he already us. But that’s ok because Rhys is the best male. Not only that but Rhys now is visiting Tamlin oftenly in Acofs apparently. This makes me so ANGRY. 

This was my messy post.

Best regards, 

Me.

Ps. Sorry for writing makes sense and its variations too much, but that is because I don’t know English that well so my knowledge is very limited.

[dreaminginvelaris]

Nesta: Your past does not excuse your actions

(I am not tagging anti because this post focuses more on being critical of Nesta's character/behavior than outright hating or shitting on her. If you’re one of the few who do not use any excuses towards Nesta’s behavior then this is not addressed to you.)

Since Sjm won't address the toxicity that goes on in her fandom when regarding those who use Nesta's past as a defense to the emotional, mental, and verbal abuse she inflicted on Feyre, and her behavior to others, I will use a quote from Leigh Bardguo from the podcast Write or Die, s2 ep1 to support my view.

For context: Leigh is talking about why she didn't give the Darkling a redemption arc etc. She then goes on to say, "Don't pretend that just because you had a rough childhood you get to be an asshole and an abuser."

What Bardugo said here is pure facts. Your childhood will never be an excuse for the way you treat others. Yes, your childhood can explain certain things, and it can explain why someone is the way they are. Nesta's childhood explains why she's cold and reserved and pushes others away. But it by no means excuses the abuse she inflicted on Feyre and even on Elain if we really wanna talk about it. (I am in no way excusing Elain for the part she played in Feyre's abuse, simply stating she was also a victim of Nesta's abuse in certain aspects)

Throughout A court of silver flames, this is exactly what Nesta did when acknowledging her behavior of all those years to Feyre and her behavior to others. She used the abuse of her Grandmother, the neglect and manipulation of her mother, the feeling of lack of love from her father, and the pressure she felt from society and parents to marry into an advantageous marriage, as well as the neglect her father displayed during the cabin years to excuse her treatment of Feyre during the years at the cabin and presently.

Instead of expressing regret for the actions and words she committed, she uses her past as a shield, as a valid reason as to why she abused her sister for years. She blames her parents and her upbringing for the way she is now, but the only thing you can blame those parents for is the childhood they gave her that lacked any warmth, compassion, or love. But Nesta's behavior, her attitude towards literally anyone, cannot be excused nor justified by her past. That she must take accountability on her own, something she has yet to actually do without making an excuse for herself and to ask forgiveness for the one person who deserves it.

Before anyone comes at me, I'm going to address it first. Rhysand. Yes, Rhys is an asshole, and yes he has committed abusive actions in the past. I can wholly admit that because it's the truth that I cannot nor will deny. But here's the difference: he never uses his childhood or trauma as an excuse. Remember it's usually some of the stans who do this for him, who use his trauma as a shield. This also goes to the Nesta stans because yes many of y'all do this often. But Rhys has never used his past as an excuse, for being an asshole. He owns up to it. When he gets called out on his shit, he admits to it and apologizes instead of using buts and ifs and half-assed excuses.

Nesta stans (some) have a habit of using her upbringing as a defense for her cruel behavior, not just to Feyre but others, and when you try to call them out on it, they'll deny it and say they're just "explaining her behavior not excusing it" which is literally bullshit because we all know what they're doing except for apparently them.

The reason I am using Leigh Bardugos words on the Darkling is because Leigh Bardugo is one of the most highly regarded authors in the book community. So if you cant take my word on it, that your past doesn't excuse your present actions, take it from Leigh Bardugo, who is a beloved and highly esteemed author, that I know many of us respect. I hope that you hear her words and understand there is no excuse whatsoever for what Nesta did. I hope you hear her words and understand that I nor others are not being "unsympathetic" to people like Nesta who had a hard life. I simply will not have her past be used as protection to Nesta's shitty behavior and treatment of Feyre and others.

"Don't pretend that just because you had a rough childhood you get to be an asshole and an abuser." -Leigh Bardugo

[cinaja]

I see you're quite pro Mor, and well that's unfortunate because I feel somewhat the opposite. Although I don't detest her, I find her character to be weird and annoying all at once. It doesn't help SJM decided to make her bisexual (it was just terrible representation) at the last minute. As someone who likes Nesta, I don't excuse her mean bone. Honestly same for Mor - she's rude to Nesta, that shouldn't be excused with "it was just a few times" or "so what? Nesta's rude too". Just my two cents.

I think it's perfecty valid to dislike any character due to personal tastes. Really, I have no problem at all with that and I won't ever say anything against it. For me, the problems start with certain takes against Mor that have been unfortunately common lately. Stanning her abuser, calling only her out for the IC's fault while simultaniously defending Azriel and Cassian, or blaming Mor for the dynamic she has with Azriel especially but also Cassian is harmful in several ways. I won't go into detail on any of that bc it really has little to do with your question and none of the criticism is referring to you personally, but it might explain why I grow rather defensive of her.

If you hold both Nesta and Mor accountable for being rude, that's great! I personally think that's the ideal approach. I also agree that rudeness shouldn't be brushed off like that, and if it came across that way in the post you are referring to (I think?) that was not my intention. However, I do think that there are different kinds of rudeness that should be judged differently. There is being rude on purpose, with the goal to hurt the other, or being rude out of an emotional/stressful moment. I personally find it important to consider that both times Mor was explicitly rude to Nesta, she had just come out of battle (the second time even more stressful, with Cassian almost dying and Feyre vanishing on Mor's watch). While this doesn't make being rude okay, I still think it explains her actions and shows that she wasn't intentinally being cruel to Nesta, but rather lashing out out of an emotional moment.

On a final note, I am a bit confused by your comment about Mor's sexuality. For one, I always thought she was a lesbian (Here is a post explaining it better than I probably could), however, I agree that the rep was badly handled and any confusion on it comes from the ambivalent way sjm wrote the scene, so it's really her fault. I'm also not sure if you meant to say that part of the reason you don't like Mor is the retcon. If you did and it's bc of the situation with Azriel, I suggest this post.

[the-resurrection-3d]

so what was ever good about acotar anyway?

For some reason, I’ve been very tempted to reread ACOTAR lately, and so I’m going to just make a quick list of what I remember specifically endearing the book to me back when I first read it in 2016 so we can compare notes later. This will, however, also include some retroactive criticisms now that we’re four years on from ACOWAR ruining everything forever. 

Twigger warnings for discussions of abuse, csa and neglect, as well as me using my complimentary R Slur Pass.

For some context: 

>Be 18yr me in 2016. 

>Be in your first semester at college. 

>Be so fed up with YA romance that you avoid books just for hinting at them in the summary. 

>Be also brainstorming a series with your roommate called The Cuckmaster Saga. 

This is probably going to sound embarrassing, but I’m being completely sincere when I say that part of why this book excited me was simply the novelty of finding a YA romance book that I liked. 

I’d fallen out hard with YA in general by this point in my life, partially because of a string of fairy tale “retellings” that clearly gave zero fucks about the source material beyond using the iconography in its marketing. Folklore had been my special interest for a while, and my excitement for the series and all its little extra niche references coincided with finally getting to study folklore in a true academic setting.

Which leads me to point one:

I love the idea of combining BatB and the Tam Lin ballad. I know some people have complained about this, but honestly, I enjoyed finding a retelling that mimicked the mix-and-match structuring of a lot of folktales. ACOTAR isn’t even the messiest or least coherent mash-up by a huge margin. Unfortunately, this aspect of the series severely lessened as it went along — remember when we all thought ACOWAR was going to be a Snow White retelling and then there was just one scene with poisoned apples? Lmao.

[If anyone wants an author who does YA mash-ups that are actually YA, I’d recommend Rosamund Hodge, whose books are always interesting in their sheer weirdness even when the story itself slightly falters. I mean, I wrote a whole 20-page thesis on her Red Riding Hood/Maiden Without Hands retelling and still didn’t cover everything I had thoughts on. (Tragically, however, I must inform you all that she is a Catholic Reylo. Rest in pepperoni.)]

It is fucking hilarious in retrospect that SJM clearly knows a bunch of different folktales and folkloric creatures but thinks it’s believable for shadowsinger powers to have no theorized origin “even [in] the rich lore of the warrior-people” (ACOFAS 65). Bro fuck outta here. 

But this leads into point two — Feyre and her family. It’s very obvious that SJM based Nesta and Elain’s dynamic with Feyre off the common folktale trope of having the youngest sibling be the only competent person in the room (and Katniss Everdeen). I thought it was honestly a lot of fun to see this trope done with some interiority; you can practically hear Feyre seethe about what useless hoes her sisters are between every line. I genuinely giggled through these parts on my initial readthrough. 

I’ve seen some people complain that Nesta and Elain’s behaviors aren’t realistic in this situation, but au contraire! Nesta and Elain’s actions in book one are (...almost) perfectly realistic. Without revealing too much, my grandmother grew up in poverty with a few older sisters, and yet my great-grandmother would make her do all the work and constantly force her to give up her possessions (like her car) to the older sisters whenever they wanted them. Even to this day, when they’re all in their 70s and 80s, one of these sisters still relies on my grandma to do basic shit like balancing her checkbooks. I’ve also observed similar dynamics play out plenty of times between an adult child and an overindulgent parent, with people literally ruining their lives and bodies all for the sake of sitting at home all day buying furry porn off the internet. 

Nesta and Elain are basically the psychology of this type of person split in two — Elain the soft, delicate, perpetually victimized front they put on for the world, and Nesta the ice-cold, bitter, and aggressive bitch they truly are. 

Honestly, the only thing I would change about this set-up is either keep Ma Archeron alive or give Papa Archeron more personality than a plank of damp wood. What’s truly missing here is a parental figure enforcing this fucked up dynamic — I don’t remember it being clear that Feyre’s always had this role, just that she took it on after her mom’s death. Making it clear that Feyre’s always been forced to be this way — alongside giving the mom more characterization — would have gone a long way towards making this dynamic feel more realized and less like the narrative using trauma and pity as a shortcut towards reader engagement. 

Then again, that would require SJM to have a female villain in this series who isn’t a rapist, and quotes I’ve seen floating around from ACOSF make it pretty clear SJM doesn’t know same-gender sexual abuse even exists. 

Anyway. 

Point Three (or rather 2B): Feyre realizing she doesn’t have to hang around her family just because she feels obligated to love them was a fucking banger. I loved it so much; having a story, especially a YA story, that showed you aren’t obligated to love a family that treats you like shit was so special to me. Especially since I was also leaving my family for the first time, and going home to visit them every other weekend felt like being hit point-blank with a Psyduck blast. 

Thankfully, my relationship with my family has gotten a lot better, but I’m still really disappointed that Nesta and Elain were forced back into the story, rather than them reaching out to Feyre and making amends because they wanted to do better.  The closest we got to this was the revelation that Nesta almost made it to the Border by herself after Feyre was taken, which was definitely badass, but also unfortunately the only Nesta scene I’ve liked in this entire fucking series. If SJM was going to force Feyre to regress into being Nesta and Elain’s tardwrangler again, then she should have followed up on Amren’s line in ACOWAR that Feyre treats Nesta and Elain the way Tamlin treated her. 

“I asked them to help once—and look what happened. I won’t risk them again.”

Amren snorted. “You sound exactly like Tamlin.”

[. . .] and I said, “She’s right.”  (169-170). 

But I’m sure everyone who’s read ACOSF knows how well that’s going. 

Point Four: the femindhjdfhfdh I can’t even write that with a straight face. I mean let’s be real, I too enjoy seeing female characters I like become queens and all that other stuff, but it was clear to me even on my initial reading of ACOMAF that it was all shallow and designed to help delineate good guys from bad guys without much in the way of nuance. It certainly took me out of the experience a little, but at least it ties into the books’ themes of recovering from abuse and shacking up with a Certified Women Respecter. 

My actual point four: Truthfully I only bought this series for the meme of having the first shitty love interest getting cucked in the second book. ACOWAR gave me some complicated feelings on Tamlin, and I honestly think he should have just stopped appearing in the series after that — BUT, having him be dragged back in once per book just to call him a cuck and cockslap him around a little bit is fucking hilarious. Pointless! But hilarious.

I also think that this kind of arc is a great critique of the standard “happily ever after,” acknowledging that in real life, you’re much more likely to just pass from one abusive household to another because you don’t know what healthy love, communication, and boundaries are. (Arguably many folktales are the fantasies of women who are well aware of this reality but want to imagine a world that’s otherwise). I definitely have a lot of problems with SJM’s claims of “sex positivity,” but acknowledging that Feylin used sex as a means of avoiding communication was another great touch.

I wish that this whole King of Hybern shit was completely cut just to focus on these themes more; it’s very clear SJM only included it because fantasy series = BIG EPIC WORLD-ENDING STAKES!! I've read maybe ten pages of Throne of Glass, so I can't speak for how she handles epic fantasy there, but I know for me and a lot of other stans, the Hybern plot had licherally nothing to do with what we liked and connected to in these books. 

But I must soften here, because I totally empathize with feeling like big stakes are “necessary” for a fantasy story and that no one would want to read your books without them. YA fantasy is the reason why TV Tropes coined the term “romantic plot tumor,” after all. (Source: I’m making shit up.) 

What else… what else… uhhhhh. I think that might be it, at least for substantial things I don’t have to qualify too much. I of course have plenty of little things I used to like but have now been tainted because ACOWAR ruined everything forever and ACOFAS danced on the graves (such as how I liked Lucien but everyone in the books shits on him now to the point it’s stopped being funny). But this post is too long anyway.

[blakeseptember]

My cousin recommended SJ/M to me in April. She was thirteen.

I’m pretty close with my cousin. She’s only a year younger than I am, so naturally we’ve been lumped together for everything for our whole lives. It doesn’t help that our mums are those ridiculously close kind of siblings that go for coffee mornings on Sunday afternoon and send each other dog videos: so close, in fact, that they collectively agreed to sent my cousin (lets call her Kate bc I don’t want to use her real name) and I to the secondary school they went to so they could see each other more often. So there we are, in the parking lot after school a few months ago waiting for my aunt to arrive so she can bring us home, when I idly ask Kate what she’s been reading lately. That was the first mistake.

She pulls a copy of ACOTA/R out of her bag with this insanely wide grin, and asks me if I’ve read it, because I consume books at an unhealthy rate and it’s YA fantasy so its right up my alley. I say no and she hands her copy. I accept it. That, my friends, was the second mistake.

The third mistake, obviously, was reading it.

I found it dull. Nothing happened until near the end, which was obviously the most interesting part but also rife with promblematic elements. (Fuck Rhysan/d, by the way. And most certainly not in the way SJ/M want to, more in “let me drop kick your abusive ass out of the atmosphere so you die in space” kind of way.)

I hated how useless Feyr/e was. I hated how Tamlin treated her like a child and withheld information from her. I hated that living in luxury was supposed to be some kind of punishment, especially given how Feyr/e’s feelings toward her family were portrayed. I hated that the villain was introduced so late on that she didn’t really feel all that evil. Sure, she’s bad, but she’s literally only shown up 80% of the way through the book, so how bad can she really be?

Then Rhysan/d, that mouldy bread roll of a man (fuck you SJ/M I’m NOT calling him a “MaLE” it’s so dumb) showed up, and I fucking hated him. I HATED HIM MORE THAN I HATED AMARANTHA. She, at least, had some kind of messed up motivation, but he was just kind of this irredeemable bastard to me. I figured, “maybe he’s one of those side characters who just shows up throughout the series to be a prick every now and then. Nothing wrong with a little bitch who likes to cause trouble,” so you can imagine my disgust after I read the next book. And the next. (Good god, why do I put myself through this?)

Some of the problematic shit slipped by me when I read them, and you know what? That’s okay. I was fourteen when I read them. Hell, I only turned fifteen less than two months ago. It was by sheer luck that I found out about the anti community while scrolling through the Stan tags. I came across that post which is like “SJ/M is amazing and y’all need to stop pointing out that some of it’s bad because she’s a feminist queen uwu” and I naturally got curious, clicked into the anti SJM tag, and voila. I did my research, and now I’m an anti.

So now I need to tackle the issue with my cousin.

She and her friends are the kind of SJ/M fans that call Aelin a badass, want boyfriends like Rhysan/d and are completely oblivious to the romanticized abuse and many, many other issues with the books. My aunt doesn’t know about the content in the books. She doesn’t know what her daughter is reading. I want to tackle that problem and help her explain to Kate that the relationships in To/G and ACOTA/R aren’t “goals,” and that if a guy is treating her like that it’s not romantic, it’s abusive. That one’s my main concern right now because Kate’s pretty innocent compared to a lot of other girls she knows because her parents are really protective, and I don’t want her thinking that abuse is equal to love. I don’t want her to think she’ll be happy with someone who harms her.

So, because I’m in TY and I have less work to do this year and also I hate myself, I’ve decided I’m going to do chapter by chapter reviews of the ACOTAR books. I’m going to give those reviews to my aunt (If I think they’re good enough/clarify enough of the problematic elements. I’ll probably have to star the most problematic parts so it’s clearer what chapter reviews are most important to read) and encourage her to pass them on to the parents of my cousin’s SJ/M loving friends, and I’m going to give them to my local book shops and libraries and I’m going to try and get ACOTA/R removed from YA shelves and moved to adult ones.

It’s going to be my first time trying something like this so it’s not going to be excellent, but what the hell? I’m going to try and so something about about this in my little pocket of the world. (Also I would absolutely love it if people pointed out things I missed (because you KNOW I’m going to miss stuff) and left constructive criticism on each review so I can improve :D)

[captainninej]

So I saw a stan post talking about the fact that antis call Rhy/sand a feminist king:

“I don’t know why people act like Rhy/sand is obligated to have a relationship with Nesta and act the way he did with Fey/re. He never called himself a feminist, SJM never referred to him as such and only haters act like he’s the leader of the movement and like its a shame he doesn’t help Nesta or kiss her feet. He doesn’t have to[...]”

There’s more to the post but the comments talk about the feminist part and I don’t think stans realize that were making fun of him AND sjm. Its sarcasm… I was baffled when I read this. I needed somebody else’s opinion on this

LMAOOO

stans need a lesson in sarcasm just like sjm needs a lesson in writing

he preaches choices and women's rights but is the most misogynistic disgusting man i have come across in any book. really, us calling him a fEmiNisT kiNg is making fun of sjm's serious issue with telling us one thing about a character, and then showing us something completely different through their actions which contradicts what she tells us about them.

sjm: rhysand is woke and gives women choices and respects feyre

rhysand: doesn't care to do anything substantial about wing clipping in illyria, degrades feyre in front of the entire continent, sexually assaults her and justifies it, doesn't tell feyre that her own baby will kill her, tells mor to suck it up that he worked with her abusers and will bring them into her safe space behind her back, slut shames and controls nesta

also, i find it so irritating that any valid criticism of rhysand is dismissed by stans as being about nesta?? can we just hate him in peace?? not all of us are nesta stans, you don't have to be one to hate rhysand or to see how shitty she was treated. it really annoys me bc they dismiss valid arguments about rhysand being a shitty character as people liking nesta more than him, turning a serious argument into a petty character thing