#this post is just about how i always forget and then contradict things i said about my characters

[theoneeyedgoldenwolf]

Thoughts about Linked Universe's update (Central Room pt.3)

I've read some posts and realized that there has been lot of debate about the latest update on Linked Universe and the teams Time created. Yet, I think Time really has thought these through.

First of all, in Central Room pt.2 we can actually see Time listening and thinking things through. I mean, just look at Time’s expression in the first panel of fifth page. Not happy but he’s certainly thinking. He let Wild say his thing and he listened to Warriors too. Sure, he’s not happy of what either of them said but he didn’t stop either or say they were wrong or anything of else. He DID listen and let that affect his choices.

In Central Room pt.3, where Time establishes the groups, he took in what Wild said about being overprotective. Warriors suggested that he and Hyrule, a Knight and a Healer, will be with Twilight since Time’s that worried. Yet, Time didn’t put Twi with either. He chose SKY to pair with him. Sky whom is calm, gentle and caring but also very fierce fighter. I think that’s a good choice.

Considering being overprotective, Wild reminded of himself and the others being such towards Wind. And, as we’ve seen before, Time doesn’t exactly do such towards Wind. If we think about Time’s past, he’s been in Wind’s place. A kid with skills but people not recognizing that skill even when its shoved at their faces (at least in manga). In Divine Dark Reflections pt3 Time and Wind faced monsters together. They fought well and in unison and Time even said “Do not forget your discipline with the sword.” and later on even complimented him in the next part (Divine Dark Reflections pt4) by “In every battle, you have a little more of the look of a hero.”

So, yes, Time took in Wild’s comment and made sure Twilight and Wind wouldn’t be paired with ones whom would be overprotective on them. Himself included. He listened to Warriors and took in four groups, one of three and three of two persons.

Now, I’ve seen people being worried of Warriors and Wild being a team. Sure, it’s two inexperienced Temple goers but Wild does have Shrine experience. We also, in one of the post below “The works that became Linked Universe” called “doodlespt 6: knights, ladyfriends, face of displeasure” we have Wild and Warriors telling out their ranks and Wild salutes him while Warriors tells “No formalities”. They are Captain and a Knight with Wild also being Princess’ Personal Guard. There’s bit of contradiction of which of them is in higher rank. And yet, that might be what’s needed. They’re trying NOT to go by the ranks but they also can have sway over each other by the said ranks. And, considering Wild’s past, he’s not the Knight anymore either. So, yeah, this is interesting pairing and I think Warriors will be keeping good care of Wild while Wild might bring some experience with Shrines into going through a Temple.

Legend and Hyrule’s an unique pairing too. Time knows the two of them can work well together but considering how the other groups are formed, it’s bit hard to properly get the duo into with others. With Wild we have Disaster Duo by him and Hyrule (in the list “The works that became Linked Universe” part “lost”). So, yeah, not that duo. We already saw Legend and Wild not getting too well along as one’s an expert and another’s inexperienced (Entrance pt.2). So, all things considered Legend and Hyrule have no other choice than to be together. YET, telling them to fetch their items…. Yeah, how do you do that when you don’t have a map or know which of the roads ACTUALLY lead to the right place? O.o I mean that one of the other groups might find the Boomerangs since the duo’s way won’t lead to there. *shrugs*

Also the tag of “what could go wrong” clearly tells that there’s going to be some serious trouble ahead of the boys. Yet, this is a Temple. There’s always traps, monsters and puzzles to solve. It’ll be really cool to see how things go.

All this and the fact that the two of the shortest members are with the tallest member. He makes sure that if there’s height needed areas or things, he’ll be able to aid the duo. He didn’t say a word but it’s just an observation. Sure, they all have their own items and ways to clear this kind of situations but just something to think about.

Also, Time did give good words there too:

To Warriors: “Captain, I’d value your input on the remainder.” Means he thought what Warriors said and he did think things through. He’s grateful of his help and strategic mind.

To Legend: “Veteran, your experience is beyond question.” A CLEAR compliment there. “But it’s wasted on petty disputes.” A reprimanding and reminding of what’s at stake. Telling his knowledge is valued but he needs to think too before he acts.

To Legend AND Hyrule: “…overqualified…” He gives them the full notion of the duo having the most knowledge and experience out of all of them.

To Wind: “Hope you don’t mind this old man slowing you down” Playing a joke on himself and bit smiling! He’s letting Wind know he’s actions are fast and he has seen his skills.

Plus, what we seem to forget is the fact that we only know what’s been given to us. The meeting of the Heroes and overcoming the language barrier has NOT been shown to us. This means they’ve been working to get things workable for a while BEFORE we get the story or the short little things in the other posts. And this means that Time knows far more about the boys and the boys know about each other far more than what WE’RE aware of. Not to mention the very fact of Time calling Wind as “Hero of the Wind” in “heroes legacy” which means that the Chain has shared a lot about themselves already. Stuff that has not been show to us as of yet. Of course, though, THIS might be given behind the scenes during the Divine Dark Reflections as Wind asked stuff about Time’s first quest but we weren’t given info of WHAT they talked about.

OH! And I like that Warriors is like slowly and unnoticeably moving closer to Twilight when Time’s starting off by pairing Twi first. Just look at the swirly black line and where Warriors is at the next page. He was so ready to be paired with Twilight there. XD

Also, considering both Central Room pt.2 and pt.3, the boys are honestly listening and really showing the fact that Time’s the leader. They gathered around him when he called them together. None of them argued back when Time made the teams. I really love how much they show the fact of Time’s words and mood affecting them. Even in part Likelike, they took in Time’s reprimanding. They really care about what he says or does.

And now, as last thing, all the teams need to do is to choose who goes to what road. XD

So, um, yeah…. Just trying to defend Time a bit. ^^;;

Links to the given notions of specific pages / posts of Linked Universe:

The heroes legacy:

The Entrance pt.2:

The lost:

The talk about ranks and formalities:

The Divine Dark Reflections pt3:

The Likelike:

[begrudging-fudanshi]

So i stared reading windbreaker after i saw your post about it , it's wholesome manga with amazing fights

in your opinion Why didn't nii satoru reveal Sakura's past until now ? Why was Sakura alone ?

Hell yeah. Welcome to the fandom. I'm glad my propaganda has been working.

To be honest, I've been thinking about this series way too much over the last couple weeks, so this is probably going to be A Lot. I am dumping a lot of accumulated thoughts in here and simultaneously trying to keep a bunch of other thoughts from cluttering it up. If any of this feels disjointed, it's because I've been trying (I swear) to not make this like 10,000 words long lmao.

(CW: Wind Breaker manga spoilers + discussion of child neglect, trauma, feelings of worthlessness, parental loss, grief, and a suicide attempt in the context of the series. Hope you're ready for some pain.)

I'm going to answer your questions in reverse order, because I think they're actually very closely connected.

Sadly, my read on Sakura's past is really dark. Based on what we know so far, there's a lot to suggest that Sakura has been badly neglected for a long time, both physically and emotionally. Based on his lifestyle and the way he talks about himself, I really struggle to believe that he's received any genuine affection or care in many years, if ever. (I'm so glad he was able to go to Furin.)

The flashbacks at the start of episode 1 of the anime suggest he was taken in by relatives who didn't want him, and I think they basically set him up for failure in every way. They seem to have done the bare minimum required of them by the law, like sending him to school, but I can see no evidence that they did much of anything else. Like, what kind of asshole sends a 15-year-old kid to live alone in a barren apartment with literally nothing to wear except his school uniform? Caring people wouldn't let a kid live like that. (That said, I have a bad feeling that his lifestyle seen in chapter 56 is an upgrade compared to what he had before.)

Given this, it's clear Sakura really means it when he says he's always done things by himself. I think this is why he looks so torn up when his friends show him real kindness and why he's so sensitive to anyone showing affection. I also think this means that he really wants to forget his past. This is a big part of why we haven't seen it revealed yet: Sakura isn't ready to revisit it, himself.

---

Something interesting about Wind Breaker's backstories is that they all (as far as I and my notes can remember) follow a consistent pattern. They're not just lore dumps that tell us about the character's past. They actually follow each character through a process of changing their beliefs about themselves, often based on their view of the past. This is why they're all in the first person. Some of these changes happen in the present while others are part of flashbacks, but either way the process is basically the same.

In each backstory, the character starts out believing something about themselves that gives rise to a contradiction that keeps them trapped. This belief somehow keeps them from living their best life and, often, stops them from changing their ways to make their best life possible. However, someone else helps them challenge that belief, giving rise to a revelation that lets them change how they see themselves. This change enables them to see new possibilities and lets them move forward towards the life they want.

For example:

Umemiya believed his parents would blame him for their deaths, so he couldn't let himself grieve them nor believe that he deserved to live. His guilt blocked out his memory of the event, keeping him from remembering what really happened. However, a nameless(?) Furin student and Shitara helped him realize that his parents saved him and were happy to see him survive. Thus, he was able to grieve and imagine a future for himself other than his self-destruction.

Kaji believed that his rage was uncontrollable and couldn't even see himself as human. Hiragi helped him realize that he could manage his triggers and change his behavior to be able to find acceptance and live his life.

Tsubaki believed that she couldn't like pretty things or express herself how she wanted. Ito and Yui helped her learn to dress up and present herself the way she liked, allowing her to accept herself and transition. (I know she's not canonically transgender but that's still the best way I can see to describe it.)

After Yui's death, Ito believed that she might never have truly loved him. Tsubaki, Sakura, Suo, and Nirei help him realize the secret meaning of the tree that she planted in his garden, letting him live his life without worrying if she was truly happy.

What's important here is that the character must be ready to have their beliefs about themselves challenged so they can understand their full truth. Otherwise, their story of their past would be incomplete. (Consider what Umemiya's backstory would have sounded like if he still believed he was a murderer.) In fact, we already have an example of this that I'll get to, next.

Because Sakura isn't yet in a position to challenge the beliefs holding him back, he can't reveal his past, either. He has friends helping him, but it's going to be a while before they've truly shaken his most unhelpful beliefs.

---

That said, this process has actually played out with Sakura once before and I think it tells us a lot. It shows us exactly why he's not ready to reveal his past.

In chapter 1, Sakura starts out believing that he's meant to always be alone, leading him to initially reject the people of Makochi. Then, Kotoha helps him acknowledge that he does want to be accepted and convinces him to give it a shot. However, while this is great progress and very necessary for Sakura's growth, this isn't a complete resolution. He still has an even more deep-seated belief that has to be addressed.

In addition to asserting that he's meant to be alone, Sakura also lays out another belief in chapter 1 that I argue really gets to the root of his deepest trauma. He doesn't quite say it explicitly, but it underpins both his belief that he's meant to be alone and that he's worth nothing but his fists.

The closest he comes to naming it is when he describes Furin. He says it's "The lowest of the low, hated by all others, worth nothing but their fists … It's a battle to determine the trashiest of the trash. That suits me perfectly."

I have to admit, the first few times I heard and read this, I completely missed how fucked up it is for a 15-year-old kid to say this about himself. I think I've gotten so used to taking shonen protagonists' confident declarations at face value that I just didn't question it, in the same way I've learned not to question, say, 12-year-old Gon deciding to become a pro hunter and travel the world fighting adults. The way it's presented very deliberately (and, I think, cleverly) blunts the impact as well, making use of shonen stylistic conventions to disguise it as stereotypical shonen protagonist bluster. This mirrors how Sakura masks his deeper feelings about himself.

However, as I read through the rest of the manga, it became clear that this is what Sakura actually, deeply believes. He's 15 years old and he truly sees himself as trash—in other words, worthless. The only way he can imagine finding worth in himself is through his strength. Even then, this is only for Sakura himself. He can't let himself imagine anyone else ever valuing him for any reason, so he must find self-worth all on his own. To put it more sharply, he can't imagine deserving unconditional love. Based on what little we do know about his past, this belief stems from a lifetime of emotional neglect.

The thing is, Sakura's belief that he's worthless is actually, paradoxically, a coping mechanism. As horrible as it is, it helps him rationalize his life in a way that lets him keep living despite his neglect and isolation. If he's truly worthless, then he's never had a reason to expect being loved or accepted by anyone—he's always been meant to be alone. This is how he can tell himself that he doesn't care and has given up. This lets him bury the pain of his isolation and pretend it doesn't truly hurt. By believing that he has always been worthless and unable to be (to deserve being) loved, he has had no reason to get his hopes up for the future, nor any reason to question why he's been treated so badly in the past. He can accept it (has to accept it), even if he hates it, because it was always inevitable.

Notice how Sakura reminds himself that he's given up right before punching the Spaltips' leader in chapter 1. This is the story he tells himself to contain the hurt. He does something similar in chapter 56, reminding himself that he's supposed to be alone as he grapples with his friends' kindness. He bludgeons himself with this reminder as a way to push away thoughts about his past. He then shifts his focus to thinking about his growing care for his friends rather than his feelings about himself. Once again, Sakura makes himself turn away.

The trouble is, this belief is his only means of holding back an unfathomable amount of pain inside of him. It's the only way he knows how to live with all the myriad ways he's been treated like shit. To doubt his own worthlessness, therefore, is to expose himself to overwhelming grief. Because, if he isn't worthless, he then has to ask himself why he had to suffer for so long. That kind of question is too awful for him—for pretty much anyone—to face on their own. This coping mechanism protects him, but it also traps him and prevents him from finding relief.

This comes to a head in chapter 1, as the townspeople surround him and the old woman tries to tend to his wound. As she reaches towards him, he screams at her to stay away. This act of genuine kindness fills him with terror. It's not just that he fears eventual rejection—Sakura fears the idea he could be accepted at all. Remember, he's just "failed" to win the fight and, worse, ended up having to be protected because he got hurt. Sakura could accept Kotoha's kindness earlier because he "earned" it by stopping her attackers, but now there's someone trying to help him for what feels like no reason. For Sakura, who must believe that he was never meant to be loved or accepted, being shown kindness for no apparent reason feels like an existential threat. It threatens to undermine the walls that he's built inside of him to keep going. This is why he allows Kotoha to help him instead—he can still rationalize her help as transactional.

This rationalization provides his means of escape. To accept his place in Makochi, he only has to accept that he doesn't have to be alone. He doesn't have to believe that he can be valued or loved unconditionally, nor that he deserved anything better. Instead, Sakura finds a way to "earn" his acceptance: The chapter culminates with Sakura accepting Bofurin, which he shows by leaping over all the others to kick the Spaltips' leader in the face.

By showing his strength, by upstaging the heroes and claiming his place among them, Sakura proves (to himself) that he is strong enough to be accepted. Rather than accept that he could always have been valued and accepted unconditionally—that he always could have been loved—Sakura would rather believe he's earned his acceptance based on his strength.

In this way, Sakura can continue to believe in his own worthlessness, saving himself from having to face his past. Because of this, even as he's learned that he can be accepted, he still maintained his belief that he was meant to be alone from the start (again, see chapter 56). This lets him continue to justify his past suffering and minimize his own pain.

This comes back around in chapter 162, when Sakura's classmates talk about his low self-esteem. Despite their efforts to show him that he's loved and valued, Sakura ultimately still believes he's only worth his strength. We see how he rejects Umemiya's praise, unable to understand how he could be praised when he "failed". Sakura can't believe he could be valued when he couldn't even single-handedly save the town.

But, as long as he believes this, his past will remain a mystery, not just to his friends and to us as readers, but even to Sakura himself. Just as Umemiya's repression kept him from realizing that his parents loved him, Sakura's repression keeps him from realizing that he has always deserved to be loved. He cannot acknowledge, can't even recognize, the pain he's endured in his life, because he still has to believe it didn't matter. Because of this, he can't let himself grieve or admit that he has always deserved better. He's still trapped believing he must always prove his worth through his strength alone.

Of course, changing this isn't going to be easy. He will get there. His friends will help him through it. Still, it's going to be rough. I think it'll be a while yet before he's ready to tell us about his past.

---

Addendum

All of that being said, something I really love about Wind Breaker is how hopeful it is and the way it shows Sakura living despite his past. To that end, I want to note one last thing: Sakura can still smile, despite everything else. No matter what he tells himself, he still feels hope.

I mentioned above that I didn't recognize Sakura's low self-esteem at first because it's masked with stereotypical shonen protagonist confidence. I think this is very deliberate by the author. We're supposed to see Sakura as cool, confident, and badass in the beginning, only to realize that he's also hurting inside. (Emphasis: that's also, not instead. These aren't mutually exclusive.) Sakura's cocky grin is part of a mask he wears, but it's not a lie.

While I believe Sakura has suffered a lot, it's important to emphasize that he's not broken or doomed to drown in grief. What I've laid out here is what I believe is going on beneath the surface, and I do believe he's going to have to face his trauma eventually, but let's not forget that our boy can still smile after all of that. The fact that he can smile doesn't mean that he's not hurting, but the fact that he's hurting doesn't mean he only feels pain. Let's not do him dirty by miring our view of him in grief. Instead, as we acknowledge how much he's suffered, let's also be happy at just how far he's come and hopeful for how far he'll go in the future.

[farenmaddox]

SPN wild theory time

I will just go ahead and start with my thesis statement: I don't think that Jack killed Mary.

With that out of the way, let's get into my warnings for this post: 1. There will be spoilers for Seasons 11-15 of Supernatural 2. I wasn't in this fandom 5-6 years ago when these episodes were coming out; maybe you guys already talked this all out and your entire response is going to be "we already went through this, dude." 3. This post is actually like 3-4 posts in a trenchcoat. I may have gone slightly overboard.

All that said, buckle up, here we go.

Chuck's "omniscience" is questionable. He has been surprised by Dean's decision-making and been upset about it, and has admitted that Castiel is someone whose actions often contradict Chuck's narrative. So, by his own admission, he doesn't/can't know everything.

However, he always thinks ahead and always has multiple ideas on how to solve a situation, and he always has a contingency plan.

First, let's look at how he handled the Amara situation. I would characterize Chuck's behavior in Season 11 as writing a self-insert fic. Chuck is a writer, after all. He knew that Dean taking the Mark of Cain would either lead to Dean's destruction or to Amara being released, so he would have been ready for Amara to appear well before she actually did. But it's only in episode 11x20 that he chooses to do anything about it, ostensibly because Metatron talks him into it. We already see signs that he's kind of "done" with the prime world and the Winchesters here, but then Metratron convinces him to give it another go, and that's when it becomes self-insert fic.

He displays the ability to absorb Amara into himself in episode 15x17, so I think this was always the contingency plan if all else failed. But he wanted to be in the story. He wanted to be on the team and be a hero, so he joins up to do the big assault on Amara plan that is carried out in 11x22. I truly do not think he foresaw that Amara would win that fight. And with how badly wounded he is, the contingency plan is no longer viable. So he has to go with the Dean-as-a-bomb plan. He was already thinking about letting it all go to shit, so this is fine. But then Dean wants to save the day with his faith in familial love, which Chuck definitely didn't see coming. I think Chuck lets it happen despite the fact that he doesn't actually give two shits about Amara just because Dean is his favorite and has managed to surprise him so maybe the world should go on a little longer.

All of this is just establishing a baseline of Chuck-ness. Now we're going to talk about Jack.

See, I don't think Chuck ever planned on Jack actually being carried to term and surviving. The wild card, as always, is Cas. Who, when he had a chance to kill a nephilim (a thing he has done before! a thing he has assisted in doing in the past! it's a sure bet for Chuck!)...doesn't do that. But that's okay (Chuck thinks)! The Winchesters will probably kill the kid! And if they don't, and Lucifer wins, then Chuck can swoop in and be like "my beautiful son and my beautiful grandson, oh my me, this is delightful, we should be a family" and then kill them both.

Dean hating Jack was absolutely Chuck's first choice of potential plots for how to take care of the Jack problem when it turns out that there is going to be a Jack. He likes that story. It surely fills him with glee that Sam doesn't hate Jack and Dean does. But then... fuck, it's Castiel, again! Chuck had no involvement in Cas being resurrected, for once. No way to predict that one. And Cas being back means that Dean doesn't hate Jack and isn't going to kill him, especially since Jack helps them get Mary back, which sucks for Chuck, who is now very committed to this storyline of Dean killing Jack. Don't forget, Chuck can kill Jack whenever he wants. But he wants Dean to do it. He's bored and done with Dean and is ready for Dean to be dead.

So, how do we get Dean to kill Jack? Well, obviously Cas's death doesn't goad him to do it because the fucker just can't stay dead, so it has to be Sam or Mary. And it can't be Sam, because Sam has to watch Dean kill Jack and himself. That's the story. So it has to be Mary, right?

Chuck just has to wait for the right moment.

Jack has a strong sense of fear about hurting people by the time of Mary's death. 13x06 and 14x16 are some critical episodes where we see how he feels and reacts to hurting innocent people. And he seems to have pretty good control over his powers as well. He had just recently had a conversation with Donatello (in 14x15) about how easy it is to continue doing the right thing without a soul. His decision to kill Felix the snake was very much on purpose and very controlled, and honestly can everyone shut up about the snake. Jack fucking loved that snake. It was sick and nobody else knew how to help Felix either. He euthanized a sick pet.

So it is hard to believe that Jack just randomly lost control of his powers and killed someone whom he had no reason to kill. That's not really consistent with Jack's behavior. Even when he's in a complete rage in 14x20 after what Sam and Dean did to him, he doesn't kill them. At his most angry and while experiencing a huge surge in power, he somehow doesn't kill Sam and Dean. But we're expected to believe that in 14x17, he just "accidentally" flies off the handle and kills Mary.

The thing that is genuinely so crucial is that we do not see Mary's death in 14x17. It does not happen on screen. Deaths in this show always happen on screen, and it's not on screen. All we see is her face near Jack's, and the next episode all we see is the blast site. I think that the reason we don't get to see it is because it didn't actually happen the way we're told it did.

The fact that Mary can't be resurrected? That's weird, and new. That literally never happens. Everyone can be resurrected. People who were turned into paste by archangels can be resurrected. People who have been cremated can be resurrected. But Mary can't be? That's got Chuck's smell all over it.

Jack thinks he killed Mary, but he fucking didn't. Chuck did it. Chuck smote the shit out of that woman and Jack doesn't have any other explanation for what happened. I don't even think he is actually hallucinating Lucifer. Soulless guy who "doesn't feel guilt" and doesn't want Lucifer in his subconscious but somehow can't get rid of him? It's Chuck. It's Chuck dressed up as Lucifer to keep Jack on the edge and convince him it was his fault so he can lead everybody to the grand finale.

And then stupid Dean ruins the story and doesn't kill Jack. Which Chuck should have seen coming, because this is what happened with Amara! But he didn't, because sometimes Chuck actually doesn't know things! It's okay though (Chuck thinks), because Chuck always has a contingency plan. He has always been able to kill Jack whenever he wanted, and if Dean's not going to do it, Chuck might as well. So he does.

I'm telling you. Chuck killed Mary. Jack didn't do it.

[actual-changeling]

There is no gun to his head.

I don't know where that notion came from or why so many people are suddenly convinced it is true, but I rewatched the last episode and especially the final fifteen over and over again and it's not real.

So. Let's have a look at the facts, and I mean facts, as in what we see on screen and what we can generally all agree on happens—no metas, no headcanons, just pure canon.

Aziraphale and Crowley just witnessed Gabriel and Beez go off together. They are free, there are no consequences for them, they left and have no interest in returning.

This tells them two things: Any threats from hell or heaven regarding their relationship are void under the current conditions. Hell is understaffed and dealing with its own problems, and heaven is a mess in a different but equally disabling way. The second thing, or rather the consequences of the first, is that they can do the same.

Let that sink in because so many people seem to completely forget about what that scene signifies outside of being a "relationship mirror". There are no consequences when a demon and an angel go off together. In the end, they weren't stopped, everyone kinda sighed and went well, we have our own problems, so they might as well leave.

Now, when the Metatron talks to Aziraphale, that scene is fresh in his mind, it literally just happened. The threat is gone, he does not want to return to heaven in that moment because he is processing what it means for the two of them.

Then, the Metatron offers him the jackpot: Aziraphale gets to fix heaven—make a difference, as he likes to put it—and have Crowley back as an angel. Aziraphale still thinks heaven is fundamentally good and thus the best place to be; angels, the two of them, how great! All of his moral problems have been solved, and, let me stress this over and over, there is no threat.

The Metatron LITERALLY just proved to him that he won't punish angel/demon relationships—he stopped Michael from punishing them. In Aziraphale's eyes, he is the knight in shining armour, threats wouldn't even be necessary.

Additionally, and I have repeated this so many times it has become tedious, Aziraphale does not know about the second coming. He doesn't. The Metatron tells him in front of the elevator, not a second earlier.

To summarize

he has tangible proof that angel/demon relations won't be punished

the Metatron has proven himself to be an ally and trustworthy

there is no dawning apocalypse

Crowley can come back to heaven with him

In conclusion, every single one of Aziraphale's problems disappears. Threats—threats over WHAT?

Do you really think the Metatron would immediately contradict himself and destroy any tentative trust Aziraphale has? Do you think he would jeopardize the blind fearlessness he develops as soon as he mentions the Crowley part of the deal?

Everyone always calls him an evil mastermind, just to turn around and paint him as the dumbest figure imaginable. He knows what he is doing.

When Aziraphale tells Crowley about the decision he has made for them, his voice is genuinely soft. It's real joy, no hidden messages, no nothing. Have you recently re-listened to it? Because I have.

"He said I could appoint you to be an angel."

That happiness and excitement is real, it just is. I rewatched it over and over and I tried to see any hidden meanings, I really did, but he's simply happy. That's all.

Everyone is completely free to have their own theories, you can disagree with my meta thoughts all you want, that's what fandom is for!

But I am so bloody tired of getting "well, actually there was a gun to his head" on every. single. post. that I make about the final fifteen. There was no gun.

You can put one into the Metatron's hands all you like, but it is not canon. It just isn't.

[dekusleftsock]

Hey, so you said in your tags about how katsuki is a freak in his own way, could you please expand on this idea a little and when it comes to Izuku?

Sure!

I actually made a post about this very concept semi recently but that post also didn’t really have organization lmao

The main reason I’ve always thought Katsuki as “a freak” as I dub him is for the very foundations of his personality. I think the main reason why no one in the western fandom looks at him and sees him for his (kinda) socially inept aspects is because of a combination between cultural differences and the nuances that hero society throws into Japan specifically.

It’s well known that Horikoshi’s story/world is heavily influenced by American super hero comics. Superman, Spider-Man, Harley, Poison Ivy, Bat-man, Captain America, ant man, etc. are all very obvious influences throughout the story, with characters like Allmight often feeling like a combination of Superman and Captain America.

The reason I bring this up is because the very aspects of these super hero comics is kind of in direct contradiction with Japanese society, especially as those heroics within the world affect the society around them.

Heroes are this curve ball thrown into a society that teaches its citizens to be polite, complicit, and quiet. That’s not to say that this is necessarily a “wrong” way to have a society, but I think it’s with this context that Katsuki’s character (and therefore the intentions behind it) become clearer.

Heroes are bright, loud, and powerful. But long before Katsuki was a hero he already was these things; how does that affect his social life? How do the people around him treat him in the context that he is both not a hero nor having of a quirk? If heroes are the “exceptions” to the society around them, and Katsuki is not yet an exception, then he is an outcast, right?

It’s this context that I feel most people forget. Katsuki understands the people around him, he’s very observant and nosy, but he also just doesn’t care. He is unabashedly himself at all times. Those jokes Aizawa made about keeping him out of the spotlight showcase this perfectly, Japanese society expects a certain standard for the social context around him—which he actively ignores.

It’s a very ironic aspect to his character given that most people admire and/or envy him. It puts a whole new light on izuku saying that he was the one “actually in his life”, that Izuku may have admired him before his quirk for simply being himself. Not to mention how it makes sense that he would believe izuku was looking down on him for admiring him before his quirk, because Katsuki was bullied! I think that’s an often overlooked detail given that he only became “acceptable” to most kids around him when he gained his quirk. The memory this is showcased in is entirely Izuku’s pov, which is heavily biased in the sense that he admired Katsuki. Getting jumped by kids two years older than you though is so weird, and I can’t help but wonder if the perspective might’ve changed were it in Katsuki’s pov.

To me, the idea that Izuku’s memories of Katsuki being this social god come from blind childlike envy and admiration, especially as the contextual things happening (Katsuki is a REALLY big hero fan, he’s rude, he doesn’t remember people’s names, actively terrible at making friends at UA for a good couple weeks, getting bullied to even a minimal extent) in comparison to the words being told. You are told by Izuku that Katsuki is amazing, brilliant, talented, energetic, crass, and in reality (especially when they enter UA), to most people Katsuki is annoying, loud, mean, a little intimidating, and not nearly as cool as he thinks he is. His friends spend the entirety of the beginning of their first year actively making fun of him for thinking he’s tough shit when he so obviously isn’t.

And I think the biggest most important part to this “Katsuki is a bit of a social outcast” discussion, is that the villains thought he was like them! They thought he would hurt people because he screamed “die” and didn’t like winning when he felt he didn’t earn it.

The only reason Katsuki is not as much of an outcast as, say, Izuku, is simply because he won the lottery. He earned that extra point. He caught that curve ball to Japanese society and honed it into something greater.

And, see, Izuku can’t really know/comprehend that Katsuki would be, I don’t know, unpopular to any extent (shown in the beginning of the series when he’s freaking out on the bus that HES being complimented and Katsuki is being insulted), because to him Katsuki always acted like a hero. And in a way, he does! But it’s in the way that hero society throws that curve ball, contradictory to social norms, and of course it makes sense why they still happened at all; the past was dangerous! It was life changing! Disparity and violence and death, desperation fueled this huge monumental change. And what is izuku “I don’t know how to make people like me” Midoriya going to do when this kid, Bakugou Katsuki, acts like one of the heroes on TV? He’s not gonna call the Geneva convention and ask why the hell this child isn’t acting like a normal citizen—he’ll admire him to such a visceral degree because it’s almost like he was born a hero.

I like the concept that, because heroes and villain are cut from the same cloth, relatively similar in concept and strength and past hurts in their history, that this also affects how they are socially. You are outcasted by society: you want to oppose societal norms to live freely as yourself and others as theirselves, you want to make sure everyone can smile at the end of the day because sometimes you or your parents couldn’t, you want to be the best because someone told you that you couldn’t, you want to be just like the hero on your TV, who inspired the hero in your life.

Also you need to be at least a little bit of a freak to be listening in on people’s business all the time because it involves your childhood friend/rival to literally any degree. Like bro what is wrong with you come HERE BBG LET ME PICK YOUR BRAIN APART PIECE BY PIECE

More side note: idfk where I got the Geneva convention thing. I was just thinking about how mha has genuinely had violations against the Geneva convention

[kurim-chis]

this post in a nutshell: the Vidyadhara cycle can get a bit fucked up. sometimes. a lot of times. all the time, if you really think about it.

Note: i also blame my philosophy teacher. he was an awesome teacher, but philosophy class always made me question my own existence…

i think Dan Heng is right in wanting absolutely nothing to do with Imbibitor Lunae’s past and very clearly states he is NOT Lunae. However despite Dan Heng’s wishes and many people empathizing with him, in my opinion, it boils down to this:

the mentality of being a Vidyadhara

A case of “shut the fuck up and don’t spout bullshit, you don’t know how it feels, experience it yourself and then you know how hard it actually is”

First Note: Vidyadhara are just built differently — physically, mentally, and psychologically

For the vidyadhara, it’s their natural life cycle to be reborn with a clean slate every 700 years, possessing no reproduction capability and being immortal as long as they underwent the reincarnation process. They see it as normal and a “matter of fact” thing, and xianzhou natives do too, but can other non-vidyadhara species truly understand this? It’s kind of like how other species see things differently and have different morals from humans.

It’s a bit of a mind-fuckery because a vidyadhara is always the same person, but they always will get a clean state, and yet depending on each incarnation they might turn out completely different.

So they’re the same, but they’re also not.

Second Note: don’t say any bullshit until you’re the one going through it, then you will realize how hard it is

Basically this. Perhaps some aren’t going into a breakdown when their vidyadhara friend just deletes them from their life (or well, the vidyadhara is deleted and born anew), and they try to accept it because they’re too old and are wise enough to accept their lot in life, but there are others who are just bamboozled by it, even though they must have thought they were prepared for it. exhibit 1) Jing Yuan

Even the vidyadhara are not excerpt from this.

There’s a vidyadhara mirage who says his vidyadhara lover just went into an egg. To the race, this is a normal cycle of life. She won’t remember him. She will be the same person born anew. She will be a different person too. She can’t be burdened with anything of her past incarnation. He knows she is not dead, but he stares at the rolling waves and feels as if she is because he cannot and as a vidyadhara he must not see her reincarnation as HER.

But his feelings won’t matter, do they? This mirage said he couldn’t wait for his turn to come, but this wouldn’t guarantee him another future with his lover because CLEAN STATE you know? After returning to his egg, being reborn anew, then all of this — his grief, his solitude, his love — won’t matter anymore because he will also stop caring about it as well. It won’t matter. They won’t matter. The only thing that matters is their new life, but at that point that is NOT going to be the life of their incarnation, is it?

This is such a contradiction, isn’t it? Perhaps in “another life” he had also thought this, had also grieved for someone else or been grieved in return, but those lifetimes don’t matter in the same way his current one won’t matter after he reaches 700 years old.

“So you’re gonna be reborn after another 157 years? That’s how your race keeps being immortal and wards off the mara disease? Just the way you were created by Permanence? Cool.”

“So you’re the SAME but also a DIFFERENT person every time you go into an egg? That’s kinda trippy, but OK.”

“What will happen after that? Will we still be friends when you wake up?”

and the next time your friend appears, they are a child and you are absolutely no one to them

(…)

(how is this immortality?)

(my friend/brother/sister/parent/mentor/student/comrade/lover has not forgotten, because this is not something as simple as forgetting, this is a clean state — in a way only the vidyadhara, transcendent and celestial, can achieve. a cruel severing of everything you had to do with them.)

(they are gone, and in their place is a child with a clean state)

(it’s as if they are dead and you’re left to deal with a legacy—)

So despite what Dan Heng says and the Vidyadhara culture, I can also see why Jing Yuan struggles and is pained by the sight of Dan Heng. And also why Xianzhou deems Dan Heng guilty.

I also can understand why Blade is so enraged at Dan Heng and refuses to back down or stop trying to kill him (Blade being insane put aside) due to his incarnation’s sins, because how UNFAIR would it for Imbibitor Lunae to get a clean state just like that? What, they’re same person? But they get to start over as a NEW person? All his sins like that, gone? What sort of bullshit is that?

Just. This whole vidyadhara reincarnation thing can get very, very fucked up, you know?

[lavaablast]

My headcanons pt1 (because i self project on everything)

(my opinion remember this is all silly fun) (also i change my mind contantly so expect me to edit this post constantly)

Kai Smith:

the band aid on his eyebrow is there because he has an eyebrow piercing, and he wants to protect it from getting ripped in battle (also doesnt want a scolding from Wu hehe)

self harms but instead of c///ing he burns because well, obvious reasons (less likely to be found out too)

orthorexic, is obsessed with being in peak physical form

hear me out on this one, i know he eats junkfood (so do orthorexics okay every 3d is diferent) anyway he never does it alone. he eats junkood only with other people, and he's always thinking he'll "make up for it" later. so yes he eats junkfood and yes he is orthorexic (felt like i had to defend my point there dsfsd)

body dysmorphia. knows he looks good but doesnt know what he looks like

"if i gave up on being pretty, i wouldn't know how to be alive" or wtv mitski said

has an extensive skincare routine but if anyone asks him he'll just say he "washes his face with cold water"

anger issues, but like he can explode on the ninja too and then he immediately regrets it but its too late which leaves him with... ->

guilt. ALL THE TIME. its in the back of his head wherever he goes

sun aries, moon sagittarius. i wont back down on this (im a sun aries and moon sag)

claims he "doesnt care" but actually cares so much it hurts (especially about Nya/Lloyd he'd do anything for them you hear me ANYTHING)

has strong morals and ideals but will give them up in a second when needed for survival of himself or the ninja (people often see this as a bad thing but he just wants everyone to live no matter the cost)

ironically, can't handle spicy food and is ALWAYS made fun of it by the others

is reckless and takes stupid risks because he does not care for his body whatsoever (the others think he doesnt know whats at stake, he does, but doesnt care when it's just his own saftey he's risking)

lowkey a perfectionist, but has a different idea of perfect than others so they wouldnt know (aka he needs things/himself/stuff he makes to be perfect, but not perfect objectively, perfect to what he thinks is right)

loves his parents because they tried their best, but still resents them. he hates that he does, but he does

cried all of his tears out ONCE after Nyas "death" and didnt cry at all after that, instead taking so much on his plate that he didnt get a single chance to think about it again (it'd be too painul, this was easier) which lead to....->

his grief being put on hold; and only when Nya already was back did it come out and he had no idea why he was feeling this way so he didnt tell anyone (what would he have said, im in agony for no reason at all?) and it was HELL to do it alone

tied to the above; he couldn't ask for help if his life depended on it (literally)

loves too hard

hates too hard

BPD coded (i dont wanna diagnose him but,,, im justsayinnn *whistles while walking away suspiciously*)

trust issues, but lowk all the ninja have them because like,,, just look at what they have to deal w bro

commitment issues because freedom is the most important thing in the world (after Nya/Lloyd) so settling down or commiting to one thing too long feels like threatining his freedom

actually smart (both emotinally and intelligently) but doesnt use his brains capabilities that much

great memory but also shit memory (remembers a whole row of numbers for no reason but forgets he has to pick up lloyd from the arcade..)

hot. thats all i rest my case

loves himself but hates himself

everything and nothing at the same time, everything about him contradicts himself, but also doesnt, but also does

hes a really simple person, really. but also the most complex one youll ever meet.

hates labels, especially being labeled by others (for the reasons above)

likes men but hates labels so,, no labels (not even the label "unlabeled")

infact he has a deep hatred for the label 'unlabeled' because if something is unlabeled, then why are you LABELING IT

red. everything is red redredred RED he loves red

has sibling bracelets with nya and lloyd (kai has green & dark blue, lloyd red & dark blue, nya red and green)

everything has to be red except the things that are black and orange. i rest my case once again

drinks just a bit too much for it to be considered concerning (started at 14)

will yell and scream at anyone who tries to help him (why do they think he needs help? why are they babying him? why cant the see he is capable?)

wouldnt let nya touch a bottle until she was 18 (be thankful nya its for the best)

paints his nails black or red.

has a strand of hair dyed red all the time

perfect teeth even tho he often forgets to brush them (how? fuck do i know)

would be a hyena i he was an animal

hates smartphones so he has a.. push-button phone?? whatever they're called. and he also only has the nokia brand. wont change it for a thing

"hates technology" but couldnt live without video games

loves to try new things but will have a breakdown if he HAS to try new things

stubborn asf, wont ever do anything he doesnt want to, which...->

makes people think he's selfish, but actually he's quite the opposite

selfless in an unconventional way, i'll make a drawing explaining it

please understand what i mean with that chart because it explains it so well in my brain

thats it for now cfdsfdr

[soo-won]

Letting go - Chapter 259

One thing this chapter makes me think about a lot is, what does "letting go" really mean? Is it something to absolutely aim for? and where does Hak position himself in relation to it today?

Hak is worried above all about the dragons right now, but we know well that he's also making a reference to his experience with Soo-won here. After all, even if Zeno did talk about forgetting them, he never said anything about "letting go" specifically. To let go is however very much something he said word for word about Soo-won in the past (chapter 153). If it wasn't already obvious enough, Hak in his turn makes the parallel between what happened with Soo-won and what is happening now with Zeno.

The end of chapter 153 hinted that even if Hak hasn't reached the point where he can let go of Soo-won yet, this is something that will eventually happen down the road thanks to Yona. And how can we not wish it for him? He suffers from it, it makes him angry, depressed, frustrated, it makes him grieve. Hak has always struggled from Soo-won's betrayal, he first tried to repress the feelings, then started walking a long road of trying to reconnect with and make sense of them, the present and their past together. He was slowly healing, he started being content with having a role in the sky tribe as long as the Yona and the hhb were with him. It was all for the best, everyone was walking in the same direction.

And then chapter 243 happened.

To be honest, when I read chapter 259 I couldn't help but have mixed feelings about this. After all, chapter 243 happened just one year ago, and this chapter devastated me like no story had ever before. This past year I thought hard about chapter 243, I tried to make sense of it in multiple ways and get over the devastation it made me go through. I also needed time, a lot of discussions with friends and the distance to see that yes, it is a chapter where both Soo-won and Hak are at their worst emotionally, and they both give up (among many other things but this isn't a ch243 post) but it won't be the end, it's them both failing to get out of this maze. But I just couldn't accept it. I felt angry. That Hak simply accepted how Soo-won, in a way, pushes him away again and the fact Soo-won will die, be replaced, and there is no hope for him. That he didn't contradict Soo-won saying the country will be fine without him, that this is their goodbye and it's over for them. That Hak will forget what they shared in chapter 61. That Hak is letting go and moving on.

So technically speaking I should be more than happy with chapter 259 and Hak saying he sucks at forgetting and letting go! But well, I got fond of chapter 243 with time. I spent so much time thinking and discussing about it, to engage with it, to question every line and to give them a meaning that slowly started to make more and more sense to me. It became precious to me. Yes I'm this dramatic over a single manga chapter but you have to understand the degree of emotional turmoil it made me go through, it was that bad! Anyway,

So when I read chapter 259, while I feel validated and relieved, I can't also can't help but think "But then, what was chapter 243 for?" What did it change in Soo-won and Hak's relationship? Does it not matter at all anymore because anyway Hak said sike and he actually just can't forget and let go? I can't accept this either. And I don't think that's the case.

And in a way, Hak did let go. But forgetting his dream of walking side by side with Soowon as his equal, on the same path, is different than forgetting Soowon whatsoever. Hak decides he won't remember it anymore and takes a different path. But what does it entail? What does he keep and embrace and what did he let go?

The vow of 10 years that tied Soo-won to the people following him, and the vow of 10 years that tied Hak to him. The formers cling to it, not taking into consideration Soo-won's true self and his ability to change. It chains him. It forces him to act not as his real self, but as the ideal image they project on him. They don't respect what the real Soowon wants, they try to make him the Soo-won that /they/ want. Soo-won changed from 10 years ago and corresponds to neither their ideal, neither Hak's. That's why it was so violent for Hak in 243. Hak couldn't see Soo-won's own circumstances, experience and current struggles and even less accept them. But in chapter 251, Hak doesn't let this vow chain them anymore, and in a way, that helped him gain confidence in the entirety of their history together instead of clinging into one aspect of it, no matter how precious it is to him. So I believe Hak needed chapter 243 to realize he was again projecting on Soo-won, and he needed to part ways to put things into perspective right now with the Zeno plot, so for that it's a good thing.

Still, when I put chapter 243 and 259 together, when Hak said he would forget his past vow to Soo-won and that there was no need to remember it anymore, I still think it was also him giving up, not having the strength to fight back because yeah, what can Hak or Soo-won even do about the Crimson Illness? Soo-won himself is convinced he will die, that he will be replaced and things will be perfectly fine without him, and so that he has to let go of Yona and Hak because what they want is the dragons, not him. He's not completely wrong, but this is not taking into account that both of them still care for Soo-won and want him to be there. That it's not about being replaceable or not, that they can care for the dragons and still want Soo-won to live for no other reason than because he is Soo-won. This is something Hak and Soo-won have both been struggling with since they said goodbye, and they are still coming to term in their own pace that they actually don't want things to end there.

Hak let go of his vow of walking by his side as his equal, but he still cares, he still can't forget, and he needed Yona to put it simply into words for him. It's okay to still feel conflicted, to carry contradictory feelings. What is undoubtely there is he wants him to live and to be there. That even apart, even when his priority is saving his friends and protecting Yona, Soo-won is still a part of him and he can't just erase him from his life. And it's fine. I don't think he should have to if ultimately putting things with Soo-won behind him, letting him go, hurts him so much. He deals with things differently than Yona and he doesn't have to do the same as her if that's not what is good to him. Yona shows that even after letting go of the hairpin, it still doesn't mean she can't think of Soo-won and wish for him to live. Letting go isn't erasing someone's existence from your life, it can just be taking a different path without tearing the bond apart.

But what this all makes me think about is, maybe letting go, in the sense of completely putting things behind them, is precisely the problem with Soo-won and Zeno. They're too good at it. We know they struggle to do it completely and honestly, but they are much better at killing their feelings than Hak, and they're able to at least act and pretend as if they were really letting go. What is so similar between Soo-won and Zeno besides betraying Yona and Hak to accomplish their respective goal and their tendency to hide their most unpleasant feelings, is that they are driven by the conviction that they have no other choice. Why does Soo-won discard people, his soldiers, prisoners, his friends? Because he doesn't believe in a path where he can keep them that wouldn't compromise the rest of the country. Before the coup, despite how much he longed for it, Soo-won couldn't believe a future with Yona and Hak by his side would ever be possible. So he gave up this dream, he acted with this fact in mind, he didn't try to pursue it. A self fulfilling prophecy. Chapter 243 was the same. And Zeno now is exactly the same as well. He doesn't believe in any other solution he could come up with together with Yona. He does what he does because if he doesn't, he is convinced he won't have another chance to be free and to end the cycle. Soo-won pretended the one they knew never existed, while Zeno pretends he already forgot them and that they should do the same.

They push them away, they tell themselves that Hak will protect Yona anyway and they will be fine without them. They let go, put an end to their bonds themselves in an (probably unconscious) attempt to have some agency on the end rather than to wait to be left behind.

But Yona's grip is strong, and despite everything Hak sucks at letting go. For their friends and for Soo-won and anyone on their path. And maybe it is important too to not let go. To be stubborn and selfish about it. To not leave anyone behind, to not avert your eyes from those in the shadows. Maybe "to let go" isn't something to wish for as an absolute solution to grief. Maybe letting go just brings more pain sometimes and is the killer of trying to fight for a better solution. Maybe there is worth in keeping what is precious to you close to your chest and fighting for it against all odds.

Honestly, as I write this I am not even sure of the answer. Zeno does deserve rest and to be allowed to go. And I can't tell if Hak will let go of Soo-won for good in the end. There is definitely a lot of good out of letting people and things go sometimes, even in Hak's case. It gives him the space to explore his feelings and come to term with them, and I don't expect him to live his life with anyone but the HHB. But all I feel is, surely, there is a better way to say goodbye. A way to say goodbye not out of resignation and despair. A way for them to listen to their hearts and be honest with their feelings. So I can only wait and keep faith for it, as I watch the characters slowly but surely try to change their fate and not submit to it.

[angelinthefire]

I really honestly believe that there’s not enough appreciation for internal contradiction and conflicting elements both in terms of characterization and relationships.

Like Cas both wants to belong and has the impulse to just go out and do things on his own. He is both proud and ashamed. He is ancient and new. Etc etc.

Dean both feels the need to be the moral authority and is crushed by the burden of it. When he needs the people around him is exactly when he pushes them away. He clings to this rough-and-tumble individualist masculinity, but all he really wants is his family to be together.

And the main thing I've been thinking of is how with Dean and Cas, we always talk about how there’s a fundamental disconnect and miscommunication between them. But I think that sometimes we forget that their relationship is built on their fundamental similarity, on them relating to one another. Like there’s at least a couple of things Misha has said about Cas that I disagree with, but one that i find really interesting is (and I wish I remembered when/where this was) that sometimes Cas feels like Dean is the only one in the world he can relate to.

Like these are contradictory things, but they are all true, and it's important that they’re all true, because contradictory things being true at the same time is was creates tension and creates movement, it's what keeps things dynamic and interesting.

The other day I mentioned a post that had a quadrant chart with a war criminal-angel axis and a virgin-slut axis, and how someone said that Cas was in the middle. But he’s not in the middle, he's at the extremes simultaneously. Like he’s not in some milquetoast little-bit-of-both center. He is all the way at the edges. And you would think it's untenable but that's exactly what makes it interesting.

And I guess that’s also my number one critique on Cas mischaracterizarion. When he's just one thing. When he’s just the poorest little self-doubting wet cat, or just a badass bamf, or just understanding and wise and empathetic, or just alien and clueless. None of those are right. And he’s not in the mushy middle of these things. He's flipping between them, he exists in the overturn, in the revolution.

Castiel is the best, most loyal soldier, and he is the most zealous rebel. He is inhuman and the most human. He is full of self-doubt and he has the courage of his convictions.

This started out as a general post and then became a Castiel post. Because Castiel. But yeah, I don’t think you can fully understand Cas, and therefore understand destiel, unless you embrace internal contradiction.

[luthinks]

Lack of nuanced conversation around Rafayel

(Bit of a rant, which i posted on reddit, but wanted to share here as well 🙈)

This is just sort of a rant incoming, might contain some spoilers for Rafayel's myths, anecdotes and main story appearance, so please proceed at your discretion ...

Recently I feel like the conversation around Rafayel has gone from him being "bratty" to him being a "murderer" ... The thing that pesters me is, it's always one or the other with these discussions ...

This is just my opinion but I don't think that either of those "personas" are fake. I don't think he's being silly to hide that he has murdered people in the past or that he has some other sinister plans for the future. As I see it, when he is genuinely happy, the silly part of his personality comes out ... The whimsical way he approaches life, he isn't faking that either. Those emotions are also genuine, his dedication towards art all of those are a part of his personality ... Him acting cute and clingy for affection is also not a front because he actually yearns for MC's affection ...

And when it comes to how he has murdered people, I think a lot of nuance is omitted while mentioning that. He isn't going around killing people for the fun of it ... The underlying pain and the years of harm endured by lemurians at the hands of people he goes after aren't talked about enough ... Sure killing humans is messed up, but he has to, for protecting his people who he has failed multiple times who are still being attacked by the said humans ...

"He hates humans". Sure, he says so. But as we have seen, from his anecdotes, he genuinely appreciates his students while he was teaching. Gives inputs that would actually help them. From his cards, he repairs sculpture that means so much to a village. Is definitely cordial to most of the people he comes across... The only time he shows negative emotions towards regular humans is when he talks about their greed or taking for granted the things he finds fascinating ... At his core he's an inquisitive child, who is just fascinated with everything around him ...

Can you imagine a Rafayel, if he wasn't traumatised with everything he had to go through, how he would be, like a ray of sunshine going around experiencing the wonders of human world. Which he was so eager to explore as a child, raising his hand over ocean surface half scared, going around collecting human trinkets ...

Thing is Rafayel is a very layered character. It isn't one or the other with him, all his character traits co-exist. Bitter lemurian who is cynical about how humans are "bad", whimsical lemurians who gets excited by experiencing rain. Is scared or cats, calls them monsters ... Gets attached to one, takes care of it and calls her heartless when she forgets him after getting adopted ... Full of contradictions, this guy, but that's the beauty of him ... And getting to know him ...

And also it is very understated how difficult of a choice he has to make every single time when he choses to save MC's life over lemurians ... I guess the gravity of it can be explained by placing yourself at his position where you have to kill your lover or your entire family, everyone you have known since you were born, dies. I don't know how one recovers from that... And he had to make that decision multiple times ... How hard must it be for him to face the lemurians who are alive but being hunted for their life ... Or how after everything, the one who he mad the sacrifice for, doesn't even remember him ... He knows it's not her fault, but still how can you not hold a grudge after that ... It's all just contradictions with this guy

Well, that's about it. I was just a bit (maybe a lot 😅) bothered about the lack of context when it comes to these discussions. I have seen his lore being dismissed as something "not as painful" as the others and that's simply not just true ... Yeah he gets to be with MC (dubiously unfinished myth says) but at what cost!

Okay I'm done now 🙈

P.S. Cute Rafayel and Serious "Serial Killer" Rafayel both co-exist, neither is more real than the other.

[sophieinwonderland]

Crazy how the things you cite for tulpamancy have been debunked hundreds of times.

Crazy how you cherry pick your data.

Crazy how you pretend you can’t find any sources.

Crazy how you villainize anyone who doesn’t instantly believe you.

Crazy how you mock someone over a single mistake but refuse to acknowledge your racism, transphobia, or ableism.

Crazy how you leave out the part that directly calls you out.

You are a genuine piece of shit. Get the fuck out of our community you faking piece of shit. At least Astro wears the fact that he’s an asshole on his chest. No one wants a bitch so privileged, so desperate for attention, that they pretend to be plural for internet points. From the entire system community: Fuck you, and everything you stand for, you complete and total waste of oxygen.

Oh boy! Here we go again!

Crazy how the things you cite for tulpamancy have been debunked hundreds of times.

Hundreds of times where? By whom?

Do you have a peer reviewed academic source that "debunked" the academic sources I'm citing, or are you referring to random Tumblr posts or Carrds with zero credibility and no sources behind them?

If you have even a single credible source debunking any of the sources I've cited, please provide it instead of just repeating that it supposedly exists.

Crazy how you cherry pick your data.

What you're referring to as "cherry picking" is something rational people call "citing sources." Something you seem incapable of doing.

This is a concept you seem to have a REALLY HARD TIME GRASPING.

So allow me to simplify.

If I don't know something, I research it.

Then I find articles that contain the information I'm looking for.

Then I quote those source and provide links to them. This is called a citation.

If you believe my sources are inaccurate, then you can use this same process and find if there are any sources that contradict my own.

Crazy how you pretend you can’t find any sources.

No. I've found plenty of sources. It's just that every source leads to the conclusion that plurality isn't a disorder and you don't need negative experiences to be plural.

What I haven't found sources for are YOUR claims. And it's your responsibility to provide those if you want anyone to believe you.

Crazy how you villainize anyone who doesn’t instantly believe you.

Poor widdle baby. "Villainized" for repeatedly fakeclaiming and attacking a marginalized group of people, then doubling down when proven wrong by just straight-up denying all science and pretending you know better than the literal doctors who have actually studied this subject.

But real talk: You aren't being "villainized" for "not believing." You go out of your way to spread hate. You go out of your way to spread lies.

And when those lies are corrected, rather than accept that you're wrong, you double down.

And do you know why people like you always double down even in spite of overwhelming evidence? Even when all the doctors who have spoken on the subject have said you're wrong? When all the evidence only goes one way?

It's because deep down, you want to hurt people.

If your ignorance is your excuse to hurt other people with different experiences than yourself, then you need to cling to it in order to keep being able to hurt people.

That's all there is to it. If anything I said was factually incorrect, you could have provided sources to contradict them. If no sources exist and all sources are on my side, yet you still refuse to change, wanting to hurt people is the only explanation.

Crazy how you leave out the part that directly calls you out.

Calls me out? You mean your childish namecalling? Of course I'm not going to respond to that. It's a red herring. A distraction meant to make people forget that you have no sources. Do you think that if you say enough mean things about me, it will goad me into defending my honor and draw attention away from how you still have no sources to support you?

Do you think I'll stoop to your level and you can successfully turn this into a flame war?

[mbti-notes]

Hi! I came across this post of yours /post/179222467392/you-once-said-that-you-are-not-a-religios-person and i was wondering what the things are in Buddhist philosophy that u dont agree with? And also how did u manage to tap into the oneness belief? I heard ppl often get there thru ego death by using meditation or psychedelic drugs. Lately I have been into this topic and into getting into that oneness belief and you seem to know a great deal about philosophy!

If you're new here, philosophy is one of my majors. I learned religious philosophy as part of my studies in the history of human thought, so people sometimes ask me about these topics.

- To be clear, I am sympathetic to Buddhist beliefs and I think the religion has a lot to offer people. Buddhist philosophy underwent a lot of change over the centuries as the religion spread through very different cultures. When you dive deep into the scriptures, you'll find some truly wild ideas about multiverses and supernatural beings. It's hard to get on board with those ideas if you are a rational and scientifically minded person.

At this point, there are several different branches of Buddhism that sometimes hold very contradictory beliefs, yet they all still call themselves "Buddhist" (contrast this with Abrahamic religions that splintered three ways). Such contradictions are possible because Buddhist beliefs are almost designed to be impervious to critique. On one hand, this allows for great diversity of thought. On the other hand, it can make the whole thing seem nonsensical.

For example, I don't agree with how Buddhists conceptualize and characterize the human ego. However, as soon as I raise those objections to these Buddhists over here, some Buddhists over there will argue that there are different levels of understanding and many different ways of looking at the ego depending on how far you've gotten in your Buddhist practice. They simultaneously accept and dismiss my objections. Thus, if you want to be Buddhist, you basically have to accept this sort of incoherence and perhaps dismiss it as illusory or the result of small-mindedness.

At the end of the day, whether I agree or disagree with the beliefs is inconsequential, because no objection is really real or pointing to anything permanent. But when all your thoughts and feelings and behaviors can easily be dismissed as unreal, what happens to your life? Whether or not your life is objectively real, it still seems real to you and you have to live it, and the suffering you experience feels real. Can you dismiss it as just ephemera? There has always been an internal debate in the religion about whether one should be apart from or a part of the material world, and I don't think this kind of ambiguity helps people who are already struggling psychologically.

- I guess you could say I came to the belief in oneness first through intuition, then through science, then through philosophy. I think I mentioned before that, as a child, I genuinely believed that everything in the universe was imbued with some form of consciousness (aka panpsychism). It's not an uncommon belief in children because the human mind has a tendency toward anthropomorphism. For example, I would wonder whether stepping on the sidewalk was hurting it. People had to reassure me that if the sidewalk had feelings, its feelings worked differently than human feelings, otherwise, the sidewalk would object in the same way I would to getting stepped on.

Most people grow up and forget about these silly notions, but I didn't. Psychologists say that normal infant development starts at oneness and evolves into individuality. I feel like the world tried to convince me that I'm this separate, discrete, individual being, but I just couldn't believe it. Separation has always felt to me like a very wrong way to be. Who is right, the psychologists or me? I don't know. Maybe a Buddhist would say we're both right and we're both wrong and that neither is seeing the bigger picture.

To me, it seems as though I was born believing in panpsychism because I don't remember a time when I didn't believe it, so there is no actual "origin story" or explanation as to how I came to the belief. If I am capable of consciousness, why wouldn't it be possible that everything else is as well? If I am capable of being conscious of others, shouldn't there be something out there conscious of me? And if consciousness exists everywhere in everything, isn't reality fundamentally relational? In order for these beliefs to stand, I had to possess the underlying belief that everything in the universe is somehow interconnected despite superficial appearances.

Then, I studied science in school and learned that all matter in the universe is made up of the same constituent elements. We are all stardust. At the atomic and quantum level, the boundaries we perceive between objects are difficult to define. As an adult, I studied philosophy and was introduced to the full gamut of human thought and learned that oneness was a key concept in many Eastern religions. Actually, several influential thinkers in the West (such as Jung) were heavily influenced by Eastern philosophy. Philosophical training helped me sharpen and refine my spiritual ideas.

- Yes, some people come to a belief in oneness through psychedelic drugs. Presumably (according to the limited research that has been done so far), these drugs help to "open up the mind" by restructuring it in such a way that expands one's perspective beyond one's narrow everyday ego concerns. Some people call this "ego death", but I don't like that term. As I mentioned above, I don't agree with Buddhist conceptions of the ego, which some secular Buddhists blithely reduce to "ego death = enlightenment". If you read my previous posts on this topic, you'll see why. I don't believe the ego is a bad thing or an enemy to be vanquished. I've seen how aspiring to ego death can go terribly wrong for people. And I've been exposed to different perspectives on ego and believe there are better ideas out there.

[theotherbuckley]

Re: your post about Buck having to deal w/Gerrard. I've seen a lot of people not into the possibility of Buck potentially taking the brunt of Gerrard's shit (in comparison to the poc 118 members). While Gerrard is the ugly trifecta of racist, sexist, and homophobic, is it possible he's more outwardly homophobic than anything? (tbh though, I haven't watched Gerrard's S2 scenes in a few years, so I might be forgetting something that contradicts that).

I would think Hen would suffer Gerrard's shit more than anyone, but I think for storyline balancing, they'll focus her time (and maybe Chim's too?) on the still open storyline happening with Mara and Ortiz. But the Ortiz thing will no doubt become entangled with Gerrard at some point. Idk, I do anticipate Gerrard being awful to everyone while he's around, unless it's someone who can serve some sort of purpose for his own gain (Ortiz). And I know this is story is 'old news' from the fandom perspective, but there's a small part of me that wonders if Gerrard wouldn't also have a unique distaste for a firefighter with a history of suing the LAFD.

I think Gerrard is definitely incredibly racist and sexist which we saw in the glimpses of him in the past. He’s homophobic too just clearly an overall asshole. I don’t necessarily think Buck will face it the worst. I think all of the POCs and Hen as a woman too will definitely face the worst of it. I just think Buck won’t know how to deal with it because he’s never had to before.

For Buck there’s no such thing as a work/life balance — work is life itself family. Everyone else has has times where they had to separate that — Hen and Chim both experienced lots of different captains including Gerrard and Eddie was a soldier with a family back home and I’m sure that wasn’t easy.

Point is they will feel shit but they also have separate work and personal lives and currently those personal lives are going a little bit to shit — so they have other things to care about more than just work. I think they know how to compartmentalise and deal with that even though they will definitely struggle.

Buck doesn’t. Buck doesn’t know how to separate the two, that’s been a theme from the beginning where everyone told him that there’s a reason they wear a uniform — so they can take it off at the end of the day. Except when Bobby said they weren’t a family Buck proved him wrong. He made it a family and instead of listening to them about taking his uniform off Buck was always the same Buck with or without it.

I think it will be interesting to see how he behaves when he can’t treat work and home the same. I wonder how that might go into his personal life at home with Tommy too, who’s also gone through Gerrard. Buck’s a white (thought he was cishet) man but now for the first time he’ll face what it means not to be.

Anyways, I think it’s going to be very interesting to see. Also I think the article was only listing bad things and currently Buck and Tommy are happy so like they wouldn’t mention that on the article and they have to mention something 😅

And regarding what you said about the lawsuit — honestly 911 as a show doesn’t often come back to storylines 😅 once they’re done they’re done. But maybe an off handed comment about it sure but honestly I kinda doubt it. Anyway thanks for the ask it’s always really interesting to see other peoples takes.

[rainbow-scarab]

Markoth and Forbidden Knowledge

I have a whole lot of thoughts about Markoth. I think he was on the run from the authorities because he was trying to figure out the Pale King's origins, and the Pale King would not allow that.

First, as far as being on the run. When you first speak to him, he says:

You have come a long way, just to die here at the edge of the world. No, do not speak. I have heard thousands and thousands of empty words from those like you. Your pride, your desires, your desperation... you will take these things with you once I strike you down. Raise your weapon then, and die like those who came before you.

He's clearly seen combat, and expects it. I wondered at first if he was bloodthirsty, ready to kill, on the run as a criminal, and that made more people come after him to kill him. But there are some more clues. He says, after you defeat him:

Warriors, knights, kings, even time itself... they have no power over me. Only you.

It sounds like not just random warriors but the Pale King himself and his knights, and maybe those of other rulers. Was it because he was that bad of a criminal? I think it was for another reason.

I can... see myself there, still sleeping. How long have I been hidden here? Here at the edge of the world, no-one could find me... except you.

He was hidden. He's in a desolate region of the kingdom, behind this shade gate that no one can get by. If he was so bloodthirsty, why hide like this? Cornifer says, of Kingdom's Edge:

Judging by this wall, the city's folk seemed hesitant to build further into these caverns. I wonder what kept them at bay?

Thistlewind says:

You find it strange to see a moth wielding a weapon? We are a passive species, though I am not the only one amongst us to take up arms. Another braved the edges of this world, hoping to uncover a truth long forgotten. I wonder what became of him?

I wonder if it may have been taboo for any bug to travel into Kingdom's Edge. I have a lot of thoughts on the Pale King which I've said in another post, but to summarize: The Pale King set himself up as the creator of Hallownest and told bugs there was nothing else. He tried to set himself up as the only god in Hallownest and make the moths forget the Radiance (this part is from developer notes and it might not be fully true in game, since we have Unn still around...but it's at least true for the Radiance the moths left her and forgot her). He also took on the legacy of the Ancient Civilization as his own, as if it was always about him, though that's straying farther from my point.

The point is, the Pale King having origins outside of Hallownest is a contradiction to the story he tells. And I think he wanted to keep his wyrm body a secret so no one would ever find out. Thistlewind tells us that Markoth wanted to find some buried secret. Perhaps knowing that things weren't quite right. Seer knows about the Radiance in the game. Maybe Markoth did too, or knew some fragmentary information about the past, knew the Pale King's story wasn't quite right. A journey to uncover the truth that led him to Kingdom's Edge....

And that's just the sort of thing that could get him on the wanted list. He was clearly a capable warrior. If it was announced that he was wanted, maybe with a reward, both authorities (king/knights) and common warriors could be after him, and Markoth expects it. We find him hidden though, by his own words. Either as a (supposed to be) temporary measure to escape authorities, or...perhaps another reason.

I can... see myself there, still sleeping. How long have I been hidden here? Here at the edge of the world, no-one could find me... except you.

I find this bit of dialog interesting. Every other dream warrior seems unaware that they're dead, though a few realize after the fight. Markoth, though...he sees his body. With the way he was speaking, he expected that he was sleeping. Not "sleeping" as in a denial of death (unclear if he knows if he's dead exactly), but as if "sleeping" was the last state he knew himself to be in, when he was still alive.

The Hall of Gods calls him "Dreamborn god of meditation and isolation". I think that kind of sleep he was in was deliberate--not just for rest. I think he has some of the same powers as Seer. I think with meditation he can travel in dream like her, astral projecting or whatever you might call that. It would work out well for him in his situation. If he could find a great hiding spot, he could stay there in body as he explored the area in dream. He either somehow made it past the shade gate, or maybe the shade gate appeared afterwards. And to be a bit more speculative: The stasis might've kicked in while he was there. The stasis seems to freeze time in some ways, lengthening lives. Markoth did die, but... I wonder if he just stayed as he was. Sleeping, until there was little difference between life and death, his consciousness still traveling through dream as if nothing as changed.

Warriors, knights, kings, even TIME ITSELF... they have no power over me. Only you. You are the darkness... come to consume me.

It's such a weird thing for him to say, about time. I suspect due to this that he does in fact know that he's dead, or at least that he was sleeping for an unnatural amount of time. Time and death could not stop him if he was traveling in dream. (Though void...void indeed can stop him).

One last thing.

Markoth fights with two dreamshields (excuse the screenshot with just one--but of course the second phase of his fight has two). His body has only one next to it, and another dreamshield can be picked up by Ghost not too far from Seer. The dreamnail dialog on the stone where you pick up the charm:

Protect yourself... You are our last...

I think Markoth must've left it for Seer.

I'd like to think there were parallels between the two. Maybe Seer didn't become a warrior, but I'd like to think they had some similar dream abilities, and both tried to understand truths the Pale King would prefer to keep hidden. I don't know what kind of relationship the two had, beyond Markoth caring for Seer's safety, but I like to imagine him contacting her to keep her updated on what he learned. Traveling to her in dream, even with his body still hidden away. Whether he ever learned of the Pale King's origins I don't know.

But another light appeared in our world… A wyrm that took the form of a king. How fickle my ancestors must have been. They forsook the light that spawned them. Turned their backs to it… Forgot it even. And so this kingdom was born from that betrayal.

Seer knows. Seer learned the truth not just about the Radiance, but knows the Pale King did not create the land Hallownest, knows he was not always there in the kingdom. I'd like to think Markoth was part of uncovering it.

[youruinedmylifebynotbeingreal]

Ok a month or so ago I mentioned how Breakaway by Kelly Clarkson is ingrained in my head as a Bloom song and said I could do a whole analysis. Exactly one (1) person responded saying they were interested (shoutout to @melissathettpdmember who I promised to tag, so here ya go!), so I figured why not post it on Bloom’s birthday?

Please note I grew up with the 4Kids dub and it is still my dub of choice, so if anything contradicts the RAI dub just keep that in mind lol

(Actual lyrical analysis below the cut)

Grew up in a small town

And when the rain would fall down

I'd just stare out my window

Dreaming of what could be

And if I'd end up happy

I would pray (I would pray)

This lyric paints the picture of a kid/teenager unhappy in their life and dreaming of moving on to bigger and better things.

Bloom grew up in Gardenia (seemingly a relatively small town? It at least doesn’t seem to be a huge city) and didn’t have many friends growing up. Even if we want to take the childhood information s4 and s6 give us (Andy as her past boyfriend and Selina as a childhood friend), she obviously wasn’t in a good place with either of them in season 1. Seeing as, you know, she leaves Earth and the only person that asks about her is freaking Mitzi.

We know she’s a daydreamer and loves fairytales. That’s one of the first things we learn about her, actually.

We also have canon examples of Bloom dramatically staring out of windows as it rains, haha.

Trying hard to reach out

But when I tried to speak out

Felt like no one could hear me

Wanted to belong here

But something felt so wrong here

So I prayed (I would pray)

I could break away

This goes back to some of my points from before about Bloom feeling lonely and like she doesn’t belong, no matter how hard she tries. Feeling like there’s somewhere else out there that she’s meant to be (aka the Magic Dimension).

I'll spread my wings and I'll learn how to fly

I'll do what it takes 'til I touch the sky

And I'll make a wish

Take a chance

Make a change

And break away

Pretty self explanatory: she quite literally discovers she has wings and has to learn how to fly!

She takes a huge risk by “breaking away” from Earth and going to Alfea without knowing anything about her powers. She does everything she can to learn about her past, powers, and to save the Magic Dimension - heck, the whole world.

Out of the darkness and into the sun

But I won't forget all the ones that I love

I'll take a risk

Take a chance

Make a change

And break away

Bloom meets the fairy of the sun and moon. She metaphorically is stepping out of the darkness of not knowing about her powers into Stella’s sunlight and the knowledge that she has magic.

She might be leaving Earth, but Bloom doesn’t forget her parents there. This is a theme that goes through the whole series, even when she starts searching for her birth parents - the first place she always runs to when things go wrong is Gardenia, her home.

Wanna feel the warm breeze

Sleep under a palm tree

Feel the rush of the ocean

Get on board a fast train

Travel on a jet plane far away

(I will)

And break away

This doesn’t apply to anything I can think of super well, but she does indeed travel on fast moving vehicles pretty often lol. And she does get to take some vacations! Think of Mambochiwambo, haha.

Buildings with a hundred floors

Swinging 'round revolving doors

Maybe I don't know where they'll take me

But gotta keep moving on, moving on

Fly away, break away

Bloom is looking for something, somewhere bigger, knowing she’s meant for something more. She thinks that’s just being a fairy, but it turns out it’s so much more.

I find the “revolving doors” line also especially relevant to Bloom. She hits a lot of dead ends in the truth about her past and feels she’s just going in circles. But she doesn’t give up. She keeps going. Keeps flying.

Looking for more songs that remind me of Bloom? Check out my Spotify playlist!

[bcbdrums]

Soul Eater NOT - part 7 (MAJOR SPOILERS)

Akane and Clay. Much opinion here amid canon explanation.

These are characters with massive potential that don't make sense ultimately in execution, and undermine other characters in Soul Eater.

I'll start with saying, I adore Clay and everything about him. A goofball. A loyal and competent weapon. Clever, creative, ridiculous, and fun. He feels extremely Soul Eater and is very likeable. I've truly no complaints about him as he's written. Akane, however...

Akane randomly reveals to Tsugumi (someone he has no reason to trust or tell) that he's a member of the Star Clan (the side of them that aren't assassins and run a legitimate dojo apparently) and then...literally nothing at all is done later with this information.

It directly contradicts that Black Star states he is the last of his clan, full stop. The last of the infamous, ruthless assassins. And everything that Black Star is, overcomes, becomes in the end... Becoming his own person apart from his heritage... AUGH.

This fact about Akane was tossed in to grab reader attention and try to make us care about him, and in my opinion it deeply undermines the power of Black Star's journey. I won't go into Black Star anymore here because that deserves its own post (if anyone would like that, let me know) but yeah...

Akane also flirts creepily with Tsugumi and says he's just joking, but it comes up more than once. This comes across as out of character and yeah, creepy. So if the author's goal after trying to make him likeable and relatable and interesting (just by making him Star Clan) was to create a creep, well, he succeeded. This flirting honestly feels self-inserty or...trying to establish something hetero in a story that is otherwise girls girls girls.

Also, Akane has powerful soul perception as a meister (okay makes sense I suppose) but he can also use a soul force/menace attack... Which again, I think is undermining something about Black Star and Stein that make them special and unique in their stories. Maybe Star Clan can all have soul force/menace? But again...that is undermining the special-ness of it for Black Star and Stein.

Akane is overpowered, plain and simple. I feel like there's a specific fandom term for this type of character, but I forget what it is.

And here again... Akane and Clay are drawn as adults but just said to be EAT students...who are working with the academy's internal CIA??? I'm sorry.... They would not have students doing that. This again undermines things in Soul Eater canon, where they bring in the special agent BJ from Oceania for example and make a huge deal out of that... Yes Akane and Clay were undercover, but they should have had them be entirely undercover and not just higher-grade students. It's illogical. And they come across as adults, so it's just more weirdness.

Again, I adore Clay. And if Akane hadn't had unnecessary Star Clan association and the advanced soul abilities that diminish Black Star and Stein... He could have had potential too. In the end he comes across as flat and kinda just nothing.

Oh yeah by the way these guys are the secret bodyguards for the princess all along assigned by her family. Which...how?? They got contacted at the academy as students and contracted by her family?? None of this is explained. It just makes them more confusing as characters and doesn't help the story at all except to explain why they're always hanging around these glrls. This is where it should have been that they were posing as students...but they're just EAT students.... AUGH.

Oh yeah and Akane's full name? Akane Hoshi. "Red Star." I really can't with this...