#jing yuan seeing this kid who is supposed to be the same but he’s not

[kurim-chis]

this post in a nutshell: the Vidyadhara cycle can get a bit fucked up. sometimes. a lot of times. all the time, if you really think about it.

Note: i also blame my philosophy teacher. he was an awesome teacher, but philosophy class always made me question my own existence…

i think Dan Heng is right in wanting absolutely nothing to do with Imbibitor Lunae’s past and very clearly states he is NOT Lunae. However despite Dan Heng’s wishes and many people empathizing with him, in my opinion, it boils down to this:

the mentality of being a Vidyadhara

A case of “shut the fuck up and don’t spout bullshit, you don’t know how it feels, experience it yourself and then you know how hard it actually is”

First Note: Vidyadhara are just built differently — physically, mentally, and psychologically

For the vidyadhara, it’s their natural life cycle to be reborn with a clean slate every 700 years, possessing no reproduction capability and being immortal as long as they underwent the reincarnation process. They see it as normal and a “matter of fact” thing, and xianzhou natives do too, but can other non-vidyadhara species truly understand this? It’s kind of like how other species see things differently and have different morals from humans.

It’s a bit of a mind-fuckery because a vidyadhara is always the same person, but they always will get a clean state, and yet depending on each incarnation they might turn out completely different.

So they’re the same, but they’re also not.

Second Note: don’t say any bullshit until you’re the one going through it, then you will realize how hard it is

Basically this. Perhaps some aren’t going into a breakdown when their vidyadhara friend just deletes them from their life (or well, the vidyadhara is deleted and born anew), and they try to accept it because they’re too old and are wise enough to accept their lot in life, but there are others who are just bamboozled by it, even though they must have thought they were prepared for it. exhibit 1) Jing Yuan

Even the vidyadhara are not excerpt from this.

There’s a vidyadhara mirage who says his vidyadhara lover just went into an egg. To the race, this is a normal cycle of life. She won’t remember him. She will be the same person born anew. She will be a different person too. She can’t be burdened with anything of her past incarnation. He knows she is not dead, but he stares at the rolling waves and feels as if she is because he cannot and as a vidyadhara he must not see her reincarnation as HER.

But his feelings won’t matter, do they? This mirage said he couldn’t wait for his turn to come, but this wouldn’t guarantee him another future with his lover because CLEAN STATE you know? After returning to his egg, being reborn anew, then all of this — his grief, his solitude, his love — won’t matter anymore because he will also stop caring about it as well. It won’t matter. They won’t matter. The only thing that matters is their new life, but at that point that is NOT going to be the life of their incarnation, is it?

This is such a contradiction, isn’t it? Perhaps in “another life” he had also thought this, had also grieved for someone else or been grieved in return, but those lifetimes don’t matter in the same way his current one won’t matter after he reaches 700 years old.

“So you’re gonna be reborn after another 157 years? That’s how your race keeps being immortal and wards off the mara disease? Just the way you were created by Permanence? Cool.”

“So you’re the SAME but also a DIFFERENT person every time you go into an egg? That’s kinda trippy, but OK.”

“What will happen after that? Will we still be friends when you wake up?”

and the next time your friend appears, they are a child and you are absolutely no one to them

(…)

(how is this immortality?)

(my friend/brother/sister/parent/mentor/student/comrade/lover has not forgotten, because this is not something as simple as forgetting, this is a clean state — in a way only the vidyadhara, transcendent and celestial, can achieve. a cruel severing of everything you had to do with them.)

(they are gone, and in their place is a child with a clean state)

(it’s as if they are dead and you’re left to deal with a legacy—)

So despite what Dan Heng says and the Vidyadhara culture, I can also see why Jing Yuan struggles and is pained by the sight of Dan Heng. And also why Xianzhou deems Dan Heng guilty.

I also can understand why Blade is so enraged at Dan Heng and refuses to back down or stop trying to kill him (Blade being insane put aside) due to his incarnation’s sins, because how UNFAIR would it for Imbibitor Lunae to get a clean state just like that? What, they’re same person? But they get to start over as a NEW person? All his sins like that, gone? What sort of bullshit is that?

Just. This whole vidyadhara reincarnation thing can get very, very fucked up, you know?

[glassrowboat]

I Grew Up. Jing Yuan.

Summary: Before Jing Yuan was the general of the Luofu, he was just another kid who would play with wooden swords and bugs; a menace who was always ready to prove himself as a Cloud Knight. And besides him? An apprentice from the Alchemy Commission who was always ready to annoy him in his endeavors.

Warnings: Mentions of war, gore, death, there is an NSFW part (when both characters are adults), so fingering, smut, oral

Word count: 11,300+

A loud, cheery voice called out “one, seventeen, five hundred and seventy two,” as a blade swung in the air. The rustle of clothes coming with each move, every practiced hit to a non-existent enemy having a random number sang out into the air to match it. No chirping bird nestled in the trees to be had as the source of the voice had long since scared them all away. “Nine hundred and ninety nine, fifty six!”

And with each shout Jing Yuan was repeating the number he was actually on in his head, trying not to let a certain annoyance distract him as she has done so many times before. (Y/n)’s antics just as familiar as the spot he found himself training in. Cracked stones with bits of moss growing between the once upon a time smooth concrete, a red tree providing shade from the blaring sun, and a bench only five feet away currently supporting a girl with her hands to her mouth, trying to echo out each word.

“Sixty nine! Two thousand one hundred and five!”

Her green dress was tell enough that this girl was from the alchemy commission, but they both already knew that, the details of swirling clouds so unlike the ones above the two providing shade. A shadow cast out over the courtyard helping keep the air just cool enough that a light breeze would have anyone considering fetching a sweater. Well, anyone not in the middle of a training session.

“You are being a nuisance.”

Per usual.

Bringing his sword back up to practice another swing Jing Yuan tried his best to ignore the taunting words just begging him to chase her around the small space, again. “Oh, big word for a little guy. Jingliu teach you that one recently?”

“What if she did? Master is-”

“Three hundred eighty six.”

“Master is-”

“Seventy nine.”

With a clamor Jing Yuan drops his sword in a way one could compare it to a knight getting his weapon knocked out of his hand in the heat of battle. A daunting enemy above him threatening to end his life with their own blade as he scurried to fetch it back in time before that looming presence, a terrifying face about to become the last thing his ten year old self sees. So like a prince charming in a fairy tale, his fingers would grasp the worn down hilt from the shape of his hand just in the knick of time, blocking the enemy’s strike. A triumphant hero. Except it was the complete opposite. The sword just fell to the ground from a slip of Jing Yuan’s fingers.

“Smooth moves, Yuan.”

“If you hadn't distracted me.”

“And what Cloud Knight is supposed to lose his weapon because a chicka said a few words?”

Jing Yuan had to stop himself from biting on the inside of his cheek or maybe even a scoff just so he could get out: “any knight should know that sometimes you will lose your weapon in combat and what really matters is what I do next.”

Like he could grab a hidden dagger! Or….”I could just take the blade of a defeated foe.”

“Like what? Those giant ones the mara use?” (Y/n) held a hand up above her head, waving it in the air to call extra attention to it, a habit from waiting to be called on in class after listening to someone drone on for hours at a time about the medicinal properties of lily of the valley or something of the like. “I've seen those before, and they're taller than both you and I, so good luck! You'd have to spin around in circles just to give the blade any force behind it.”

A small giggle fell from her lips as she pretended to swing a giant blade, mocking the same way she would see Jing Yuan use his own.

‘Just what in the world is she imagining?’

“Just admit it, evolution didn't choose you, short stuff. So you'll just be a knight in training even when you're five hundred years old.”

‘As if!’

Picking his blade back up Jing Yuan slid it away in its designated sheathe with a satisfying click, the glare from the metal no longer reflecting on the ground beneath him as the sun peaked out from behind the clouds. “I told you that I'm going to be taller than you one day. Besides, you're only four inches taller than me, that isn't a lot.”

“I feel like I can make a joke here but it might go over your head.”

“Nope! Nope!” Not wanting to hear it, Jing Yuan smacked his hands to his ears. Maybe it would be enough to block out her shrill voice even as (Y/n) got closer to try and pull them off and out of place. “Just because you had to earn about that stuff for your studies doesn't mean I want to hear it. Not again. Mom already gave me the talk and it was awful!”

“You're such a kid.”

“She was talking about things with things and wouldn't let me leave until I repeated it back to her.” Right after he had run to go try and wash his ears out by dunking his head in the water can outside his home in hopes of the water knocking the words loose.

“You're not helping your case here.”

“It doesn't matter! That stuff like kissing other people the way mom and dad do is so not on my agenda. That can be saved for your princess stories and other girly stuff.”

“Oh yeah?” A little grin curled at the corners of her lips, most likely due to having another retort right on the tip of her tongue. (Y/n) even got out the words “then why are you so huffy over this stuff” before being cut off with little to no mercy by a loud call of her name. A man’s voice shouting for the girl again and again, only drawing nearer with each passing second. “Shit! I-I mean shoot. Shoot.”

Dropping his hands he stood there watching the panic come to her face. Only slightly smug. “Sure you did.”

“You're not helping!”

Quickly her form ran over to the courtyard's many walls, green dress fluttering behind as those little legs scurried around in a panic. Her voice only picked up in speed as (Y/n) tried to get the situation out, and understood, as fast as possible. “Yuan, I have to go right now. I left without permission again.”

‘Of course she did. Probably to get out of those talks about being switched out to advanced classes.’

“Hoist me up!”

“And why should I? You've been doing nothing but trying to get under my skin this entire time.”

Again, another call of her name sounded. Haize’s voice becoming clearer and clearer. A man Jing Yuan had only come across in passing when trying to drag a certain nuisance into playing with him. Or, a better way to put it, (Y/n)’s master.

“You motherf- I'll owe you!” Her hands were scrambling at the bricks on the wall, trying to find just the right ones to use for purchase. As if that's how scaling a flat wall would work, like rock climbing. Sure. “Just help me up or for the Reignbow Arbiter sake!”

He couldn't help the chuckle he was trying, and failing, to fight back from escaping, not with how quickly she did a 180. From teasing the life out of him (per usual) to now looking like she would plead like her life is on the line. Though with master Haize it was hard to tell, he could very well deal out writing the same sentence a thousand times over worse. At least that's one of the lighter one's Jing Yuan has heard about.

‘One shall not leave the alchemy commission without permission’ with each ‘I’ dotted with one of her hastily drawn hearts.

“Why should I? I think this is simply karma.” Despite his words Jing Yuan was already coming over to help, eyes going up and down the wall to figure out the best way to go about it.

“You little- I'll owe you, okay?”

“I know you will.”

And just like those five years ago, when they were both kids running amok trying to help one of them escape from an unjust punishment, (Y/n)’s shoe fell between his interlocked hands to his shoulder as she managed to swing a leg over gray tiles of the walls roofing. Admittedly it was a bit of a blessing that at least this time she didn't have to step on his head to get that proper step up. Last time that left a good mark of dirt in what was otherwise Jing Yuan's pure white hair as she scrambled away with a wide eyes scanning over the courtyard like she was expecting her master to pop out of thin air and a quick “see ya!”

Now though? (Y/n) was looking down at him from up high, her hand held out to help him up to follow her.

“And why are we sneaking into one of the alchemy commissions gardens when you have full access to go here?” This entire thing didn't really make sense to him, but here he was playing along even as the scent of flowers hit Jing Yuan in a way that was comparable to a woman accidently spraying her perfume in your face.

“Because, esteemed Jing Yuan, you're not allowed back here. And we have to do something to celebrate you officially becoming a cloud knight.”

Grabbing her hand the very same ‘esteemed knight’ pulled himself up and along beside her with very little help besides a tug or two to his blue sleeves. The uniform he now gets the privilege to wear with a red ribbon Jing Yuan ties around his waist every morning with pride after years of work and swinging that same blade over and over again. He swears that if he took a moment to just sit there and close his eyes while this menace of a woman jumps down into the garden below that he could feel the grip in his palm.

That is until his eyes shoot open as he hears a grunt and sees her figure kneeling on the ground, one of her hands brushing dirt off her face. Failing at that too, but for now she doesn't need to know that.

“Smooth moves.”

“Shut it.”

Jumping down after her, in a proper landing, Jing Yuan helps her up as (Y/n) huffs.

“But my point still stands, cloud knight.” Knocking a hand against his chest she turned back to the garden before them. An array of colors. Each petal is like a brush stroke on a canvas. “You got to your big goal, so we should celebrate.”

“Many of the other trainees after getting accepted were shooting the breeze with shaoxing glasses in their hands, and you choose a flower field you know like the back of your hand to take me to?”

“Fine, don't appreciate it. But I at least thought it would be nice. It's been a while since you've been allowed back here after you ruined a flower bed.”

“And last I recall you're the one that pushed me into said flower bed.”

“Anyway-” trying and failing to hide her laughter at what was most likely the memory of tripping Jing Yuan straight into a pile of dirt and seeds before her fellow classmates (Y/n) bent down so she could properly look at the blossoms before her. She probably knew every little detail about that flower, but Jing Yuan couldn't place it as anything more than just another pink one.

‘Anyway, she says.’

“Since when did it hurt to stop and smell the roses? Besides, if anyone catches us I'm just here….getting a few herbs I need to dry out for a project I have planned out. The number in my dorm has been dwindling.”

Moving besides her he sat down on the wooden walk set up to make sure no one would repeat his mistake so many years ago of mistaking where the path ended and patch started. At least that's the lie this one who thinks proper decor is bottles full of potions ultimately decided on before their scolding began. Jing Yaun’s boots making a hefty clunk as he settled down.

“And not even a drink to be had?”

“Yuan, wait until you're older. I shouldn't have to go over the repercussions of drinking before your prefrontal lobe has fully matured with you. I'll do it too.” Another huff. “It's very important for you not to touch a drop before your behavioral patterns-”

“Is this you talking or the lessons you've learned, prodigy?”

“Ha. Ha. Ha.”

Plucking one of the flower's petals off she held the fragile thing up, studying the veins as she held it up to the full moon. The only source of proper lighting to be had when neither of you could afford to turn on the ones for the garden without being caught. Who knows what trouble could be had for you two from this even with her supposed foolproof excuse for being here.

“Carnations. You've probably seen a few as decorations at those fancy tea houses, the ones we've seen those Foxian ladies favoring so much. These can be used for their anti-inflammatory properties if you're in short supply of the normal pain meds the commission makes. A poor substitution in my book, but it's best to always have something extra on hand just in case.”

Raising his hands up Jing Yuan brings them together a few times in a short round of applause. She always did look so intense when bent over work tables with mixtures of all sorts at her fingertips, eyebrows knit together just as they are now. “You really do sound like a proper healer when you go off about this. Shame I know you for mainly cussing when you stub your toe.”

“A lady is allowed to express herself!”

“‘Lady.’”

“‘Cloud knight.’”

“You can't use that on me anymore now that it's true.”

It takes a moment, her eyes on him in silence before finally relenting and muttering a short “touche” he almost missed.

Taking the petal from those hands lacking the calloused his have Jing Yuan pinched it softly, trying to view the one little piece of life the same way she seemed to. A well of endless possibilities that could be made into something more than just a woman's perfume. “Say, I think it's time I cash in one of the many favors you owe me.”

“And what favor do I owe you, big guy?”

“Ah, someone's still petty I grew taller than them.” Chuckling Jing Yuan looked up from the petal to a face that still had the slightest smear of dirt on its cheek, barely seen in this lowlight. “What happened to those precious three inches you had on me?”

“It was four.”

“Three inches.”

“Well, it's perfectly normal for a young man to be tall. If anything it's just a sign you were able to grow up strong and healthy despite all the times you slid your fried cabbage on my plate.”

Something she had let him do on multiple occasions as they shared a table at either the alchemy commission when everything was stuffed full of nutrients and seemingly without a sprinkle of sugar or at his family home as Jing Yuan’s mom always slipped them an extra dessert whenever (Y/n) was over.

“Well, uh…”

‘Okay, it seems we're getting off track here.’

“You owe me for helping you escape Haize when you were thirteen.”

“No, I gave you my desserts for a week in recompense. It's been paid off already, Yuan. Try again.”

Huh. Tilting his head at that his eyes rolled up to the star covered sky. The Luofu was on its night cycle meaning they could properly see the galaxy beyond the blue hue and clouds that would be overcast during the day time.

“It's pretty, isn't it?” A hand pushed his shoulder, not nearly enough to knock Jing Yuan down to the wooden path but it had him rocking in place for a moment. Tall but lanky as a certain healer had described him, right after saying he needs to eat more, then he'd properly fill out once he ages up and grows out of the awkward teenage phase. “Just say what you want. I'm fine with you owing me for once.”

“Of course you are.”

And of course he shoved her shoulder right back.

“Can you tell me what it's like to see a mara-struck up close? If I'm to meet one in combat I should know what I'm going into, and master Jingliu can only help so much.”

‘Master has only one perspective.’

“Good to know you're not so over confident that you're rushing into battle with your sword raised for a charge. I didn't know you had a brain in there.”

“Seriously? You- Just back to my question.” Jing Yuan snapped.

“Okay. Fine. Impatient much. The thing is with your question…It's simply not a fair comparison.” She took a moment, eyes going from between him to the flowers that surrounded them. Lavender, marigolds, chrysanthemums, and so so many more. A field. And if he asked Jing Yuan was sure (Y/n) could tell him the scientific names of each one without issue. “The one's I deal with are primed for dissection, not for a fight.”

A sigh.

“But, it's not pleasant. Master had me- let me try again. You know those gingko leaves that tree in the courtyard you used to always train in? How would they slowly turn from green to yellow only to fall off soon after?”

“I would always be tasked with cleaning them up. Part of my ‘due diligence’ and training in patience. I'm pretty sure though it was just master Jingliu not wanting to clean it up herself.”

“Well,” a small giggle came from her at that, “someone needed to do it. And if I caught you sweeping I'd always fetch a broom and spend the afternoon helping you catch up on chores.”

‘And she would always hold it over my head after.’

“I loved gingko leaves when we were younger, because they made me think of you and those moments where we were threatening to hit each other over the head with those old brooms that probably couldn't even handle a single strike. I would pick one out from the dustpan and keep it stored away in one of the many pots in my room. Like they were precious.”

“Is rambling included at this time to stop and smell the roses?” He couldn't help the little grin that came to him, lips quirked up at the edges with absolutely no effort to stop it.

“Don't interrupt me if you're the one who wants an answer. No lecturer wants a student that can't shut their fucking trap.”

“Okay, okay.” Raising his hands in surrender was automatic at this point after hearing just that pissed off voice alone. “Go on, teacher.”

“Thank you. For the Reignbow Arbiter’s sake. So,” (Y/n) clapped her hands together, calling attention to herself despite the fact Jing Yuan was already paying more than enough to her, “back to my point.”

“The thing is…After my first dissection, even with master Haize watching over the entire procedure, I couldn't look at the mara-struck all at once. I was supposed to dissect it like a frog, something I've done dozens of times before, but I couldn't even just take a step back to look at the thing properly. It was a task to be objective.”

‘Couldn't look at them? Was it someone she once knew?’

“When I finally did it was at the end of the process when the master said I could wash off, and there I stood by the sink with those stupid blue rubber gloves covered in the coagulated blood of a dead body and gingko leaves.”

“I couldn't think about them the same way anymore.” Her head dropped. Eyes downcast on the very hands that had cut and opened up what was essentially, or at least should be, a corpse. “The abominations are so different from us, Yuan.”

“I know.”

Even the thought of those creatures could ruin a night like this it seems, one full of their usual antics and trouble seeking habits. The mara-struck, an inevitable fate for all Xianzhou natives if death doesn't take them first.

“Maybe you were right, maybe a drink to go with this night of celebration would have been better. Then we could be cheering about something stupid and-”

His hand was raised, reaching out to her, only stopping midway when (Y/n) glanced up at him with a disapproving stare; most likely for interrupting her or getting caught off track despite all the times she's done so to him. “And you were just getting on my case about it earlier too. Frontal lobe..something or another.” And he wiped the dirt he had been letting stick to her without a word off. The grainy texture is a sharp contrast to her own smooth skin.

“You- how long has that been there without you telling me?”

“Since you fell off the wall.”

“I didn't fall, I jumped.”

“Are you sure about that, prodigy?”

She swatted his hand away, much like she was dealing with a pesky bug flying around near her ear.

“I hope you know that when you get hurt on the field, and you inevitably will because all you knights do at one point, they will bring you back to me. When that happens, I will make sure that whatever injury you acquired will somehow end in my fellow healers being convinced they need to chop one of your limbs off due to risk of infection. You will be at my mercy, Jing Yuan.”

‘Great, another threat.’

She's made hundreds of threats since the moment they met varying from some that had Jing Yuan stumbling over himself in shock to wondering if the best she could do was smack him over the head. Especially when he's still getting taller. Who knows, maybe one of those days she'll have to ask him to lean down for her just to be met with a solid hit to the head. The thought alone had him laughing.

“Yeah, I know.”

“Hey! What's so funny you two bit bitch?”

“You don't need to worry about it.”

Taking one of those pink carnations Jing Yuan plucked the stem from the ground, not bothering to mind the dirt when his fingers were already dusted with it. Fragile petals and a soft hue. It truly was just a flower in his eyes, but somehow it looked like more than that as he tucked it behind (Y/n)’s ear as she scolded him for picking something without permission.

It was two years later Jing Yuan found himself holding a bouquet of the very same flowers after toiling over the best way to do this for hours, but they seemed only fitting. The shop owner he bought them from was nice enough to wrap them in those sheets of paper used for…well, decoration? And a red ribbon much like the very one in his hair.

The only difference being from when he bought them ten minutes ago to now is how the long stems had been wrangled as he clutched them tight in his sweating hand.

And her, staring up at them.

“Happy Luofu alliance day to you too.”

“You're all the way out here instead of joining in on the festivities?”

Papers were scattered all around her like a blanket on the grass, some clearly torn out from their notebooks as pages were frayed at the ends and others were slightly yellowed from years of use and spills of what is most likely more than just coffee stains. Scribbled notes that had Jing Yuan careful not to step on one and leave a footprint behind (for fear of being scolded, again) as he caught glimpses of diagrams, highlighted margins, and sketches of organs as he walked closer to her.

“There will be countless more years to spend in the Dragonvista Rain Hall. For now, I want to spend my one free day organizing my notes.” As she spoke (Y/n) lifted up the notebook that had been on her lap in the air.

“Your ‘one free day’ being a holiday you're required to take off.”

‘Yet here she is working.’

Glancing up Jing Yuan’s eyes fell on the tree she was sitting under. Foliage far from dense enough to keep the occasional sun beam peaking through the leaves as they cast golden rays on her green dress; still wearing her alchemy commission uniform, even now.

“Did you not have to be dragged to classes once kicking and screaming?”

She would even cling onto his arm, shouting for the future cloud knight to protect the poor damsel in distress from the fearsome bad guy. That being Haize as he plucked her up from the ground and carried her out of the courtyard like a disgruntled cat. Jing Yuan’s ear would be ringing for the rest of the day, but it was always worth it seeing her so pissed off after purposefully being a frustrating little brat. Teasing him like no tomorrow.

“Times change, Yuan.” She said, her words full of laughter. “Though, I did see this poster earlier about some foxian theater troupe putting on a performance. Epic of the Old Verdant House, if I remember it right.”

“That explains why we can hear drum chanting all the way out here.”

A melodic beat full of energy that matched the chatter of the crowds down below. From here he could see the lanterns hanging off of every pillar they could and tops of tents full of wares with people being waved in to 'come and see what we're selling, benefactors.’

“Sure does….say, I'm surprised you have the day off. Shouldn't an esteemed cloud knight be going around patrolling the streets to help keep the peace? I thought you'd jump at the chance to try and show your dedication, yet here you are not even in uniform.”

Standing there in everyday wear without a single piece of armor Jing Yuan shifted his hanfu sleeve, the fabric stretching only to fall back as he let go. It wouldn't hinder him, but it certainly wasn't his usual garb.

“I switched out my shift with that kid you helped last week.” Though she had many patients. It wouldn't surprise him if (Y/n) had forgotten about the event entirely. Things do tend to start blurring together when it's the same day after day, or at least that's what she says. “The one who got all bruised up in training, Aiguo?”

She hummed at that, seemingly to take a moment to recall. “The blond? For a cloud knight he sure does bruise easily.”

“He does…” The flowers in his hand were only wrangled up further as this conversation continued. This was besides the point. “So, rewriting your old notes then instead of going to that performance? I might have to grab a rose so you're forced to stop and smell them.”

Her eyes flicked up to him and he had to grip onto those already wrangled stems even harder to keep himself from simply choking the words out in his haste. A few white knuckles were easy enough to stand in favor of making this right.

“It's a better use of my time then watching you try and catch a goldfish at one of those scooping games again. I'm pretty sure by the time you were out of credits to waste away the vendor and I had become dear friends.”

He couldn't help but raise a brow at that. The only reason he was trying so hard in the first place was because only a week before she was forced to get rid of her pet scorpion. Ingredients had been found in her dorm by a supervisor, and after an apparently long meeting, it was determined the thing had to go despite her begging to just let him stay in the alchemy commission.

“It was rigged.” He said, slightly shrugging as he did so.

“All carnival games are rigged. That's the point.”

‘True, but at least it got her laughing. Even if it was at my expense.’

“Or, and hear me out on this, Yuan. It could also be that you just suck.”

“Thank you, so much.”

“Oh you're so very welcome.” Picking some of the sheets of paper up she tucked them between the pages of her notebook. Brand new but it was already covered in dirty fingerprints. No doubt from her collecting samples to tie into the pages as he could already see some of her old notes with a dried out jimson weed (if he recalled the name correctly) pinned down with thin metal wire keeping it in place. “I just don't have the time to do this any other day.”

“So.” stepping in closer to her spot under the tree Jing Yuan kneeled before her, making sure they were eye to eye even if she wasn't paying him the same amount of attention he was her. “If I asked you to come down and watch me struggle to catch you another fish?”

“And do you have the credits to spend on something so lavish?”

“I can spare a few.”

“I…I'm busy. I want to get this done.”

“And I can get you some osmanthus jelly.” Lifting the bouquet up, Jing Yuan held it up to her, the end of the red ribbon softly swaying from the movement. “You preach to me the importance of taking a break but you can't take one yourself?”

“You know I hate when you use my words against-”

And her words were drowned out by the loud sound of an engine, of a starskiff racing on by as fast as it could go. A familiar sound that would normally have Jing Yuan nodding to himself at the sight, taking in the beauty of such skilled piloting, but right now it only had him spitting out hair from his mouth as it whipped right into his face. White filled his vision as papers flew before his very eyes. A specimen of belladonna seen for only a moment before it trailed off, caught in the strong breeze the ship kicked up.

“No! No, no, no!”

Like confetti the notes she had spent years on flew away. Not even her hands snatching to grab anything proved fruitful as she scrambled up to pluck anything from the blue sky. Her fingertips barely grazed a sheet completely covered in yellow marker over the written margins before it fell to the crowd below.

Multiple people down below dressed in their finest attire, the festival masks, and waving their fans to keep cool in the generated heat of the Luofu's system were caught looking up and around them as the notes fell all around them. Ranging from the rooftops to the streets as those years she spent were tread over with little to no care, like they were nothing more than posters advertising something or another, as (Y/n) whined at the sight.

“Fuck!”

As Jing Yuan pulled the last bits of hair from his mouth he could see her flipping off the direction the pilot flew off in, even as it was long gone.

“Fuck you you punk ass bitch! Come back here before I shove a catheter up your dick!”

“Interesting insult.”

Grabbing a sheet of parchment from the branches of the tree, only a few of them stuck in there, Jing Yuan held it out to her.

“I hate this fucking household.”

Sighing Jing Yuan looked back at the paper in his hand as she just pouted at the sight of it. There goes his chance to confess it seems. Another day then.

“Come on prodigy, I'll help you find everything we can. It doesn't matter if it means spending the entire Alliance day peaking into alleyways or climbing over crates.”

“Just another favor I'll owe you.” She grabbed the paper from him as she spoke, fingers going over that messy handwriting that was no doubt scrawled down in a rush to get everything in her mind to a proper record. “Years of work.”

“No, there's no….”

‘No need for a favor.’

“Actually.” The flowers were over by the tree now, forgotten in the midst of what just happened, but did he really need them right now? Sure, this wasn't how Jing Yuan had been wanting this to go down, but what did those hours before the mirror practicing what to say as his friend, a fellow Cloud Knight, mean in retrospect when she was pouting like this? “I'd like to cash in that favor now. I’m going to ask you something and I don't want you to immediately say no. Take your time to think about it.”

“Now that's a big ask.” She said, grip tightening a little bit more to the point the paper started to crinkle under her touch. Maybe she was worried it would grow wings and fly away on her too.

“I know.”

Grabbing her hand, careful to make sure his actions did not tear anything, Jing Yuan squeezed it softly. She had no calluses made from the efforts of swinging a blade, of wielding a weapon. No, they were soft from the amount of lotion she used from always applying some after washing her hands again and again once she was done making some new medication or concoction or another thing of the like. Somehow that made it all the easier to hold her just like this.

“The next Alliance festival, I want to go together not as friends, or two people trying to find your notes, but as eachothers date.”

“No.”

“Now that's not taking your time-”

“Ask me again later, when I'm in a better mood; and pick an event that will happen sooner than a once a year festival.”

‘Oh…. Oh!’

Squeezing her hand a bit tighter Jing Yuan asked: “will you go on a date with me sometime this month? We will have to figure something out between your busy schedule, prodigy.”

“I said, ask me later.”

“Technically it was ‘later,’ just by a few seconds.”

“This is the worst confession I have ever heard and I've seen people proposing on the medical beds when one of them is so drugged they can't even understand what is being said to them.”

After a moment she added in, “you still have to help me find my notes though, then I'll say yes. And I want a better confession too, like in those romance books. Give me a whole speech.”

“Are you seriously asking me to study those girly novels of yours?”

“Yes. Or no dice.”

“I- fine.”

‘To believe that years ago I'd cringe at the thought, but here I am agreeing to it just to satisfy this bossy woman.’

“You're always a headache.”

Later that day, after spending hours combing the city to find every last sheet they could manage, Jing Yuan tied the red ribbon around her pinky, admiring how it showed she was his as (Y/n) told him she'd find the time in her busy schedule to squeeze in one little outing.

And it was that very same hand he tied a ribbon to, that he grasped that day, the very same day he played in his head again and again with a smile that could never leave him at the memory, that is now threaded through Jing Yuan’s hair.

Tugging. Pulling. Unapologetically leaving knots he'd have to comb out later.

“Patience.”

“You've been saying that for the past ten minutes, Yuan.”

The way her voice came out slightly strained had his lips tugging up. Soft little pants he was drawing out of her from those pretty lips he yearned to kiss right now even as his own were sliding along her naked thigh. Tongue just barely lolling out to leave a small lick before retreating once again.

She'd call him a tease. Has been, actually. But Jing Yuan couldn't barely help himself when seeing her like this.

Blankets pushed off to the side and barely hanging off the edge of the bed that was cast in only the low glow of a lamp on a desk nearby. One covered in glass bottles full of things he's been warned not to touch, and he knew well enough to listen. It was enough to have his fingers gleaming as he pulled them away again.

Much to someone's dismay.

“Stop being mean to me. Please.”

Jing Yuan only hummed in response, not minding her begging much as his teeth just barely dug into her skin; the idea of leaving a mark was so, very, tempting. To know that under her skirts in the days to come would be proof of this moment in the dark.

Her thigh tensed in response, muscles flexing before falling back to a relaxed state as his lips ran over the imprints of her underwear he had been pulling and tugging at earlier left. A garment discarded as soon as his head dipped between her thighs, yet here she was urging him to give her more.

‘How greedy.’

But he is too as Jing Yuan’s cock strains against its confines. Fabric he'd usually consider loose, breathable, and easy to move in suddenly betraying him with every shift of his hips against this old mattress. Barely providing anything friction as he breathes in the scent of sex. Of slick. Of her need for him.

Just that alone had his hips bucking forward.

His gaze moved from the way she sucked his fingers in as they slid back inside her with a wet squelch up to those half lidded eyes that flicked between him and the ceiling.

“Yua-”

A chuckle fell from him as she chased after him, her breath hitching and eyes falling closed as his tongue slid between those lips he's never had a proper chance to taste before, and oh what he would do to let those legs wrap around his fluffy white head and eat a meal he's never had before for hours just to find what would make her unravel beneath him.

Would she call his name in those final moments with her toes curled the way they are now? Would she be clinging onto the sheets with a knuckle white grip? Would her chest heave as he watches those breasts still red from being tugged and teased at fall with every breath?

Yes, they were both greedy.

“I know you're doing that on purpose.” She finally managed to say between her whines and attempt to stifle them away under her free hand.

“Am I now?”

That accusatory glance had Jing Yuan curling his fingers over a soft spot that felt different from the rest, spongy even, as he tried his best to act innocent. Not very convincing when his words are muffled by her pussy, but it was a try nonetheless.

“F-fuck…”

“I can't help but think you liked that.”

It was a wonder she wasn't trying to kick him in some way, but maybe that's just because with every movement of his fingers her head was being thrown back into the white covers.

“Where do you…how do you even know where that is?”

“This?” Jing Yuan asked, fingers crooking even more by just the slightest amount to brush over that spot inside of her again.

(Y/n) didn't need to know the real answer to that, not when she wouldn't let him live it down if she ever found out. She'd get on him until his ears turned pink and she'd only make it worse by pinching them and saying something like “oh sweetie, you're looking sick. Maybe we should take your temperature, yeah?”

So no, he'd keep the fact that one of her fellow students in the alchemy commission went around to all the guys he knew were in a relationship during the mess hall. Lunch hour as silverware clattered against those metal food service plates while some young lad with a diagram of all things pointed out…well...where to touch a woman in exchange for a hundred credits in turn.

Money well spent in his opinion if it had her looking at him like that. Glazed over eyes enough to have Jing Yuan wanting to press a kiss to those soft lips. To let her know just how she tastes.

“Maybe I'm just a natural; a prodigy just like you.”

Wouldn't that be nice? To know just where to touch her to have his name cried out like a prayer. The Reignbow Arbiter an afterthought to his fingers, but he was willing to give her the rest of their lives together to figure this out. To have her melt in his embrace on all the nights they will have, just like this one where she sneaked him into her dorms.

The door didn't even creak on their way in.

He didn't even stop to do anything more than lock the door before Jing Yuan had pulled (Y/n) into his arms. Hands playing with the fabric of that green dress as it traced over the

gold accents on her chest all the way up to the clasp keeping it shut as their lips met in hurried kisses. One after another as she tugged him along through the bedroom to help keep those heavy boots of his from accidently kicking and knocking over anything of importance as they found their way between boxes of files to the bed.

Designs of swirling mist made Jing Yuan feel like he was on cloud nine as they slid up her thighs.

She rolled her eyes as he asked about her underwear, wanting to know if it was just for him. If she anticipated this happening and wanted to look her best for him.

The thought was a sweet one.

But right now that pair was tossed off somewhere long forgotten as his face was covered in her slick, and hands forcing her legs apart as she writhed beneath him.

How long could he take without breathing in some more air? The thought only came to Jing Yuan as his ears buzzed the same way they would after staying too long underwater. (Y/n) his lake he would willingly jump in even if it drowned him.

“Pr-prodigy my ass.”

A kiss to her trembling thigh, eyes locking with hers.

“Are you saying I'm not doing a good job?”

“Not at all.”

‘Sure. She's so snarky even like this.’

A whine, a plea for more met him as Jing Yuan pulled his fingers out. The curve of her plush ass he wanted to squeeze and grope at again covered in spittle and arousal just like his mouth.

Maybe if she was in a sane enough mind she'd be saying something like it's been twelve minutes now. That is if she ever got the chance as he kissed her again. Body hovering over hers, taking note of just how small she looked under him.

How easy it was to grab her wrist and pull her flush against him.

Cock brushed against her through those damnable layers of clothes Jing Yuan wore that had his head burying away in her neck to take in the scent of herbs that clung to every piece of clothing she had. Trying to bite back a groan as he did his best not to rock against her in a frenzy, but it was (Y/n) who ran a hand along his bare back and whispered in their small sanctuary of sheets and pillows “we can stop if you're nervous.”

And like an over eager fool he rushed out a no.

“No, I promise I'm fine.”

‘Worried I'll cum in under a minute, but fine.’

“Besides, you made me wait for a full year so I'm not going to pass on this now.”

“Patience,” She teased back. Hand brushing along his cheek that he couldn't help but to press a kiss to. “Besides, it seemed only right to wait until we were both adults.”

“Is this where you lord over the fact you're three years older than me again?”

Though she hasn't done that since he passed her in height, much to a certain someone's annoyance.

“Maybe.”

Tightening his grip on her waist Jing Yuan pulled her impossibly closer. Her warmth, her laugh, her hands tracing the muscles on his back she could surely name off the top of her head like it was nothing, it was all a reminder of how much he held her dear.

“Can we….”

“Start now?” That laugh again, the curl of her lips as she looked up at him through those long lashes she has cursed everytime they ‘betrayed her’ by letting something in her eyes.

“Yes.”

It was as Jing Yuan had tugged those pants down and out of the way that she grabbed his chin to lead him into a kiss. The taste of her still there, still lingering as her lips parted into a moan as for the first time it was his cock that filled her. That they were intertwined in a way that would make the Aeons themselves blush.

And it was in that moment as his hips moved to meet hers with a wet squelch that had him biting his lip not to moan too loudly and give away what they were doing to any of her neighbors in the dorms did the words I love you fill the air.

Her hands in Jing Yuan’s hair as she whispered them right back.

I love you.

I love you.

That's what she said to him as the wind whipped around from an awaiting ship. Luggage in her hand as she looked back between the people on board who were walking back and forth from the dock to a place Jing Yuan couldn't see with wooden crates full of provisions. Old nails clearly being the only things keeping the boxes together as he watched the cloud knights assigned to this mission just like she was.

Blue armor much like his own, but he wasn't one of the few that were chosen for this. No, (Y/n) was. A healer is always needed.

“I shouldn't even be gone long. At most maybe a year. Maybe two.”

Far from long in the eyes of a Xianzhou native, that's for sure. The denizens of the Luofu had their lives tick by as the humans who came to the ship for trade and sightseeing grew old and suddenly stopped showing up. All due to a very obvious conclusion. But two years without her?

“Why wasn't it someone else assigned? There's always Aihan.”

“That girl? She still gets squirmish during autopsies.”

Meaning no can do.

The stomping of boots continued as men tread back and forth. Some of the knights even stopped to give Jing Yuan a respectful nod or even a wave before continuing on with their task. His brothers in arms despite the fact he wasn't going to be besides them on the field this time.

“Besides, it's only Yaguoret. This should all be wrapped up quickly. At least compared to the thirty year missions some people are assigned to.”

A shrug, like this, wasn't a big deal at all despite the fact they both have been on a battlefield now. They both knew what it was like.

“Look Yuan, I'll be back in two years at max and when I arrive in your awaiting arms,” her hand slid along the blue fabric of his uniform, playing with the material she had sewed back together for his time and time again, “you can keep me all to yourself for a week. Just you, I, cute dates or… other things.”

“Two weeks.”

“One and a half.”

“Two weeks, prodigy.”

The two stared at each other for a moment before she finally sighed, shoulders dropping for only a moment.

“Fine, two weeks. I'll be all yours.”

Grabbing her hand, Jing Yuan locks their pinkies together. Silly, childish really, but it always worked when they were younger. Though it was mainly her wrangling him into compliance.

“Promise me.”

“I-I…..promise.”

So why was he now sitting in her room staring up at Jingliu listening to his master say something he never thought would be uttered?

The file boxes had been taken away, the bottles that had once reflected his own golden eyes back to him as Jing Yuan asked about the contents now missing, even the terrarium for Ingredients (Y/n) never bothered to get rid of was gone like it never existed in the first place. The dorm room is bare, hollow of the personality it had accrued over years of use.

Photos of them ripped from the walls leaving dark squares from the sun aging the wallpaper that once framed those cherished memories.

“What do you mean she's been exiled?”

“I mean exactly what I say, Jing Yuan. Miss (Y/n) of the alchemy commission, student to cauldron master Haize, has been exiled from the Luofu.”

Jingliu's hand moved to rest on the empty desk, brushing over the dust that had accumulated during the past three months that no one had properly cleaned this room. It was always something he intended to do, to keep up with making sure this place was as spotless as he could make it so she wouldn't come back to dust bunnies and a fit of sneezes, but work had been suddenly thrown onto him like something was amiss. Something massive had obviously happened, but he knew better than to ask when every time those who talked about it would shut their mouths the second even a wisp of his hair was seen.

“The fact she wasn't sentenced to death is a surprise.”

Because of course no one would want to talk to him about his own partner being….

“This is a mistake!”

Getting up from bed that creaked under him from the sudden movement Jing Yuan stood before his master, eyebrows pinched together to keep himself from outwardly scowling at the woman he owes so much to after years of training with the sword.

“You know her just as well as I do! She never would have hurt anyone like this.”

“When I knew (Y/n) best was when she was a fledgling. A kid, just as you are now. Letting your emotions blind your view of the truth will do nothing to help you.”

“I've known her for fifteen years. There's no way the same woman I know who takes spiders outside after finding them would be capable of murdering a hundred knights.”

(Y/n) can't even hold a sword properly. She is a healer, a woman who makes mixtures and applies bandages. Who presses kisses to his wounds as Jing Yuan tries to brush them off like they're nothing to avoid the bitter sting of hydrogen peroxide she would mercilessly apply to him with a smile like nothing was wrong. A woman like that holds no contest to men trained for combat. Some of those men that were sent out even had hundreds of years under their belt.

“Even if she poisoned them?”

Jing Yuan hissed out a breath at that, jaw tensed just the same way it would when the antiseptic met his braised skin.

“She's…she may be capable but that doesn't mean-”

“After the soldiers died the effects started to show in the village people that lived on Yaguoret. Even cauldron master Haize said it was the same symptoms the corpses of the cloud knights seemed to have gone through.”

Jingliu pulled her hand back from the desk, a small coating of dust on her fingers she brushed off.

“Haize has done everything he can with what he has, but the people native to that planet keep dropping faster than he can try and make new remedies.”

The two stared at each other for a moment, like Jingliu was waiting for Jing Yuan to finish what she was trying to say himself, but he bit his tongue. Refused to use it. He wouldn't say the words aloud.

“Only your partner would know the best way to go about making a poison that her own master could not find an antidote, or whatever those alchemy commission bunch need, to stop this issue in time.”

“The elders have decided this will be written off as a plague. That will be what is documented as to keep Haize from having his position looked at with suspicion, but he will be on thin ice from here on.”

What Jingliu wasn't saying is: it's a wonder the man is keeping his job at all.

“This isn't possible.”

‘She wouldn't do anything to risk her…and the promise.’

As it felt like his chest was being clawed at by an invisible hand winding its way through his mouth, past Jing Yuan throat, and ripping his lungs apart to grasp at his heart Jingliu placed a letter in his lap. The envelope it was in clearly had been torn open, but it was his name on the white parchment with the ‘I’ dotted with a heart.

Somehow the sight of it made it even harder to breathe.

“She left this behind for you, clearly. When they were cleaning out her room trying to find evidence that was stumbled upon.”

That would explain why her room is so empty.

The words why is it open then we're right on the tip of his tongue, but they both already knew the answer to that.

“Do you know its contents?”

Jingliu nodded at that, not saying a word as her red eyes flicked down to the torn apart packaging of something that was supposed to be meant for only him.

“Does it mention…”

‘Does it mention why?’

“It's best you read it yourself if you want to know.”

It was the force of habit alone that had Jing Yuan nodding as he was given one last glance by his master before she left him alone. Most likely he can process this thing on his own, but just the sight of it, the idea of what's inside, made him feel sick. Hell, he was half tempted to burn it and throw the ashes of what's left out the window so he can watch them dance on the wind the same way those specimens of belladonna and jimson weed got carried away.

Swallowing down the taste of bile licking at his tongue, Jing Yuan folded up the envelope and tucked it away in his uniform.

That… can be saved for another day.

A day for centuries later.

A day for when he was stopped short as a bird flew down and nestled upon the crook between his shoulder and golden armor piece strapped down to Jing Yuan's arm. Little chirps filled his ears as he walked through the streets of the Luofu. Sing song, a perfect background to his afternoon stroll as the few people he passed by on this path he's memorized after years of use bowed their heads.

Surely, if it wasn't for the upkeep on the potholes or cracks in the sidewalk he would have worn the shape of his boots into the white concrete long ago.

Another chirp and Jing Yuan looked down at the red beaked creature with a lazy smile. These things were always so comfortable with him, to the point he's even gotten a few comments from Fu Xuan about being a Disney princess. Something he just nods along with without complaint.

It was amusing how much his acceptance seemed to annoy her.

“Now, now, if you're too loud you might make this old man lose even more of his heari….”

His hearing.

But there he was stopped short, one foot in the air waiting to follow along the path only he knows the exact details of even as people try to record the goings and happenings of the Dozing General. Frozen in space, in time, like it was ice that kept him stock still and not a single image that came onto one of those many blue screens depicting today's news.

The words wanted written right under the white and red pictures of Blade, Kafka, and a woman Jing Yuan never thought he'd see again.

That old ache blooming in his chest again like a flower in a patch of dirt just waiting to be watered as her eyes were revealed to him. Even in a drawing meant to capture her image they never changed.

Teasin, inquisitive, and seemingly filled with thoughts he never had the neverending years to dig into like he was planting his own garden.

Wanted Stellaron Hunters.

Turning on his heel the bird that was nestled against him flew off, its wings flapping away as it took flight, and he was left to stride out of Starskiff Haven with his boots thudding their way back to the Seat of Divine Foresight as Jing Yuan tried with all his restraint not to break out into a full out run.

“You're dismissed,” is all he said as he entered those old walls, loud and clear for everyone inside to hear.

Heads turned his way, some immediately moved to leave, and the blond rascal of a kid he was so fond of came up to him only to hold his tongue as he saw the look on Jing Yuan’s face. A “very well, general,” threw his way as Yanqing followed everyone else out.

Jing Yuan didn't even notice the glance back to him as the doors shut.

Now it was just him standing there on the giant board surrounded by blue holograms, banners hanging from the beams up above, scrolls stored away in their exact places, and the lion statues he himself commissioned to be built in this place.

All alone.

Just like he was with a letter he never wanted to read as his feet carried him to that desk he hovers over day after day. Fingers moving along the smooth bottom to press a button that forced a drawer open. Thin, barely able to contain anything at all. When he first got this piece and requested such an addition the odd looks didn't bother him much, not when the carpenter didn't need to know what it was for. As far as he cared the simple phrase ‘official documents’ would have held enough weight.

But it wasn't some folder filled with the Xianzhou Luofu's darkest secrets, well, not fully anyway. Rather, it was a torn open envelope and the messy scrawl of his name.

‘Jing Yuan’ staring back at him.

Even after all these years later and his memories fade in favor of a blanket of mist keeping all those years locked away, he knew well enough she didn't like to refer to him that way.

It was Yuan.

It was her Yuan.

The paper felt odd in his hands, despite the amount of times he's pulled it out and debated opening the thing before it fades away to dust, like it was brand new. A clean sheet of paper despite it no doubt having passed through multiple hands before something that was rightfully his possession fell into his grasp for the first time. Fingers teasing over the ripped envelope as he pushed it aside and pulled out a folded note.

It wouldn't be too late to back out now, just how he has done a hundred times before as he failed to bite the bullet even his old master was able to, but then the image of her flashed in his mind again. The wanted poster was an accurate portrait, but it still felt like a character compared to the memories that were like a migraine that never ceased to ache.

‘Evolution didn't choose you, short stuff.’

‘Since when did it hurt to stop and smell the roses?’

‘I don't care if I'm busy, I'll find the time to go on that date with you. I promise.’

‘I love you.’

‘I'll be back in two years.’

A whirlwind of moments together, of her words, that had him just barely creasing the note.

The thought that she promised to come back quickly buried away as he, for the first time, unfolded the note he's kept all these years without her by his side.

‘Dear Yuan,

I have drafted this letter over ten times now and I can't quite seem to get the beginning of this right, so I think it's best just to get into the thick of things. You agree, yes? I hope you do.

I'm sure the news of what has happened (or is about to happen, if you're looking from my point of view) has reached you now. Is this a shock beyond words or did a part of you know this was going to happen? We do tend to let our unconscious selves be quieted and hushed away by emotions. Such is the way of any sentient creature whose instincts do not drive them. But you cannot look me in the eyes and tell me this was not something you would fully deny being something I am capable of if you weren't driven right now by what I can only guess is…betrayal.

I didn't mean to be your first heartbreak, my Yuan. No, I never wanted that at all. I wanted things to stay just the way they were when you'd take that wooden sword of yours when Jingliu hadn't yet given you permission to wield a real one and chase me around with it because I teased you too much. Or maybe back when we would turn rocks over a day after it rained so we can try and find bugs together.

Oh Yuan, I could list countless moments I wish time had chosen to freeze us both in so this outcome never had to come to pass.

But it did.

Now don't get me wrong, I'm not sorry for my actions.’

The words ‘I can't afford to be’ were crossed out.

‘Do you remember that night when we snuck into the gardens? I do. Very well at that. I hope you do too, just for different reasons. That night to me was being with you, of enjoying our time, until you brought up the mara-struck. Those creatures that plague us all at the end of our lives like a withering flower bound to end up as nothing more than a husk of itself as its body is preserved much like that one I keep with a red ribbon tied around it (the one you gave me when you tried to ask me out like a bumbling mess) pressed between pages as it's currently being used as a bookmark. The abominations, they have made me realize something you might not have yet.

Maybe those three years I have on you really do mean more than I would care to admit. Maybe in three years time when you are at the age I am now you'll realize this for yourself too. This war is never going to end. This war will taint what is beautiful in the world. We were blessed to have a loll in the time we were growing up, but that is only because of the sacrifices of many given for such peace.

But still, many died when our eyes were blinded by youth.

And when the battles did come you were a guard on some street in the Luofu as I was called out of my dorm to treat the few men who came back from their efforts in the middle of the night. Blearly, I was lacking sleep, but I did my job just as I always have. That is what I told myself when I had to dissect my first body at the age of fifteen. ‘Do your job, girly’ despite the fact I was surrounded by those older than me and even they cringed as Haize yanked some pubic hair from a corpse to store into a plastic bottle for proper collection.

It took a while for them to forget this thing before them, this hunk of meat, was dead and therefore couldn't feel pain. It took me a while too.

Back to the men…They would come in covered in blood, scratches that were left by creatures I never would have dreamed of existing before until they told me about them as I figured out all on my own how to detach a chewed up limb from a man without making it too painful.

They still passed out in the end.

One day you will know war, you will know what it's like to be on the battlefield for more than a skirmish, you will know the smell of the dead as all their bowels release and the smell of shit fills the air, just as I do now after having been called to be a medic in those poorly put up tents behind the fighting men.

Yet I don't want people to have to know about war. I don't want you to know about war despite you jumping at every chance to prove yourself as a Cloud Knight. I don't want those people of Yaguoret to know about war as we descended on their planet. But it is inevitable. They are a poor people who know little of what to do with the land they possess, and we are a civilization that sees their planet for the resources it has.

It was already discussed after the first talks with the people there after they turned away our offers of trade that they needed to be…wiped out.

Children, mothers, fathers who can't even put up a proper fight, let alone to a Cloud Knight.

So if you are wondering if I killed our men, the very people we talked with in the mess hall, or annoyed on the training grounds, or that I bandaged in the past, then I have to tell you I will.

They won't survive, of course they won't. What kind of prodigy would I be if I couldn't make a simple poison that would properly kill a man? Or a good hundred.

Sorry, I shouldn't be making jokes now. Force of habit.

There will be no war if the people trying to make a war are dead.

There is no way to enact change without sacrifices. That is how medicine is made. First someone must come to you with an issue, a sickness, and it is their loss of life that allows you to test the boundaries of this illness.

But that doesn't change the fact that I will soon become a murderer.

Somehow I am calm, at ease, yet the most scared I have ever been in my life.

But I have cast aside my alchemy commission uniform. Green never was my color.

I am no longer a healer. A murderer cannot claim that title.

So, as I said before, I won't apologize for my actions, but I'm sorry I had to face this world before you did, to come to my own conclusions. I can't help but wonder if I was younger, if I didn't have those three years on you, if we could find our own conclusions together. Ones that we could support side by side that wouldn't result in this.

I suppose what I'm trying to say is-’

And the last words, with a dried teardrop smearing the letters so they were barely legible as Jing Yuan had to narrow his eyes to read.

‘I am sorry I grew up without you.’

[gojoidyll]

There is No Law that Emperors Must be Fair

Emperor ! Jing Yuan x Princess ! Reader

Chapter 3 | Deals with Devils

Summary | You are set to marry the Emperor, Jing Yuan. In order to break the engagement, you stage an accident and fake having amnesia. But now, you own cruel, cold, and distant fiancé, who seemed to not want anything to do with you, is now acting all lovey dovey!

Note | reposted because the original wasn't letting me edit it.

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“Follow me.”

That same day, Blade had left to clear out the halls because apparently you and him were going to go meet Dan Heng personally instead of him coming to you. Which was fine, Dan Heng was an important government official that worked even more closely to the Emperor than Blade. So, Dan Heng walking freely among the halls will get anyone’s attention right off the bat which is exactly why you and Blade were going to meet him instead of the other way around.

“I thought we were going to wait a few days before knocking this deal out.”

“It’s best just to get it out of the way now then later.”

You winced when you both turned a corner. The bruises and aches you sustained from the stairs were still fresh and very much hurt-, “h- hey!”

“Keep quiet."

Blade had picked you up not a moment later and proceeded to carry you down the hall, his arms wrapped tightly around you as you had no choice but to do as he said. And honestly? You weren’t complaining. As lang as you weren’t on your feet and moving around, your injuries weren’t hurting.

Before too long, he stopped at a door. Looking around to make sure no one was watching him carry you in some random room, he opened the door. Then once he closed it behind himself, he carried you to an empty chair and settled you into it.

“Oh? She’s already awake? And since you brought her here, I’m guessing the whole amnesia thing didn’t work out.”

“How-“

“Anyone with half a brain would be able to tell you did that on purpose in hopes of getting home.”

“Then why did it fool the Emperor?”

“Who knows?”

He did know, you could tell, but he wasn’t spilling. But whatever. It didn’t matter. As long as you got out of here, then you didn’t care why it worked on the Emperor.

“Alright, fine. Can we talk about this deal already then? I imagine we don’t have much time.”

Dan Heng looked to Blade and they both nodded.

“We need you to steal something from the Emperor, and then once we take you home, we need you to steal something from your father.”

You deadpanned, “are you kidding me?! If I do that, then I won’t be a princess anymore! I’ll be labeled a thief and get my hands cut off!”

“Only if you get caught.”

“And remember,” Dan Heng chimed in, “we can always go tell the Emperor what you were planning. Hell, we can even tell him how you planned to get amnesia, steal this important item, and then leave as if you did nothing wrong.”

“You-“

“So, it’s best to work with us, then against us.”

You bit the inside of your cheek, “fine, whatever, what am I stealing from the Emperor and my father anyway?”

“Two keys.”

You deadpanned again, “what.”

“You’ll know them once you see them.”

“Ok, and where are these keys anyway?”

“One of them is in the Emperor’s personal chambers. A place where only his fiancé is let in.”

“His…personal maids are let in there too, but they are too loyal to the Emperor, which is why you will come in handy.”

His personal maids… you knew what that meant. Your father warned you that some royalty takes maids to bed. You suppose that Jing Yuan was no different.

“And my father’s supposed key?”

“We will worry about that once you get the Emperor’s and back home.”

You sighed, “and what do I get out of this?”

Dan Heng stepped forward again, “you won’t have to marry the Emperor, and once you’re free from our deal you can go back home and never have to worry about us or the Emperor ever again.”

“Ever? So, the fact that I’m stealing these keys won’t ever trace back to me?”

“Correct.”

“…You said that the key is in the Emperor’s room, how am I supposed to get in there anyway?”

“Get close to him and let him take you to bed.”

“What?”

“You’ll be fine. Besides, if it gets too scary in there you can always play the scared virgin card and get him to back down.”

You huffed, “you two are brutes.”

“We could be worse.”

Dan Heng checked the time then, “enough idle chatter, take her back to the infirmary. We can discuss more later.”

“So what am I supposed to do now,” you asked while Blade picked you back up.

“Act like you have amnesia, play the innocent victim, and look at the Emperor as if he created the sun, the moon, and hung the very stars in the night sky.”

“You’re serious.”

“Very, and try to act genuine, and don’t overact either.”

“Ok, mom.”

Dan Heng glared at you right before Blade carried you out of the room, “you just like to push everyone’s buttons, don’t you.”

“Oh can it, Blade. Besides, why do you both need those keys anyway?”

“It’s best if you don’t know. For now, worry about yourself. Because I can’t promise your safety if the Emperor finds out about your charade.”

“If he does, then can you promise me something?”

“What?"

“Kill me.”

Blade glanced down at you, his hold on you tightening ever so slightly, “why?"

“We both know how ruthless the Emperor can be. If he finds out, then I will basically be sentenced to a life of torture and misfortune even if I do manage to escape. Death would be far kinder in that regard.”

“I…understand.”

Once Blade took you back to the infirmary and set you in your bed, he took up guarding right by your side once more, “I’m sure I don’t have to tell you, but as Dan Heng mentioned, the maids are loyal to the Emperor. Don’t trust them. Also,…a few of them are the Emperor’s favorites, so they tend to get away with more stuff than a princess ever could. So be wary of them. I won’t always be by your side.”

“Alright…”

“Get some rest. You have a lot to do tomorrow.”

“Like what?”

“Dealing with the Emperor, of course. I heard he canceled all of his meetings for tomorrow to be with you.”

“Huh? Why?”

“Because I told him you woke up but needed more rest, so tomorrow he could speak with you.”

“…I hate you.”

“Thank you.”

[itstimetojellyfish]

Yo hey I just finished your Misha angst now I'm addicted have you thought about writing for Yanqing platonically because I've got some good angst for that silly lil guy but anyway what about platonic angst for Jing Yuan like say he has a biological kid and they feel like they disappoint him because they aren't fully a long life species but they have a lot of achievements they just don't have like a lot of confidence and they feel that he prefers Yanqing over them bonus points if they are already an adult because they've been carrying that thought all throughout their childhood oh oh don't forget the dead nom

Great! I actually have considered it , but I’ve been on a writers block so this is a great opportunity! Thanks for the plot!

Always in your shadow ( Platonic Yanqing x reader)

Time for some more angst no comfort!

Here we go again..

“General! When will we have our next session?” The blond haired boy sprinted beside your father as he excitedly told him about everything he’s done .

You feel… jealous…

You press your lips together as you watch them talk excitedly, telling each other about battle techniques and chess….

You suppress a sob in your throat as you suddenly grasp your chest , your heart throbbing and clenching painfully.

Wasn’t the General supposed to be your father?..

You had nothing against Yanqing , in fact , you love him as if he was actually your blood brother, you took care of him ever since Jing Yuan brought him in .

However , he’s a teen , and you’re an adult now , and Jing Yuan still hasn’t smiled at you the way he smiled at Yanqing .

You’ve done so many things… fighting Mara-struck , leading his army , doing his desk work unfortunately.

And yet..

Here you are , trailing behind them like a guard while they laugh with each other as if they’re the blood relatives, not you .

You hiccups quietly, suppressing the tears that threaten to fall upon your face , you feel neglected.

You’re no longer that social anymore , because you thought that if you made more connections…

You would finally be useful.

However , you now know what the truth is.

He loves Yanqing.

Your head short circuits when it comes to that conclusion , making you stop suddenly behind them , eyes wide with disbelief.

No… that can’t be true, your father wouldn’t do that! He loves you both equally! He always did , he definitely didn’t host all of Yanqing’s celebrations!

He definitely doesn’t spend more time with Yanqing when he asks ,when you have to literally wait for months to get an appointment!

He definitely doesn’t dote over Yanqing whenever he gets seriously injured while never visiting you !

Oh who are you kidding?

You take a step backwards before running away towards your destination , a lush green field you cultivated yourself .

You now see the signs, ever since Yanqing came into the picture , you’ve been neglected because apparently…

You’re old enough to not depend on another .

You collapse underneath a willow tree and your long sliver hair comes undone , you wish you could tear out your hair .

You wish it was mother’s color , you wish mother was still here , then she would’ve took care of you when your father didn’t .

You wish that your eye color was the same as your mothers , then you’d have something to cling onto .

You wish you had at least one person to cling onto because you’ve been alone since you were 8 .

You…. Wish …. You just wish you had someone that would love you.

As you cry silently beneath the tree , a soft rustling came from your left side , you turn your head and then see a blue sleeve push the leaves aside and a blond head pops through the canopy.

Your eyes immediately dull and cloud up.

He looks at you and then says “ It’s my fault that you look so defeated and worn everyday isn’t it?” His expression has guilt written all over it .

You sigh,” Yanqing , it’s fine . No need to worry , my prime has already passed, just focus on you okay?” You give him a strained smile .

He just stares at you , the tension between you two thick .

In midst of your staring contest, a soft creak can be heard from behind the willow tree , making your head turn , Yanqing steps closer to inspect it , looks at the stem , however , the stem wasn’t the problem.

A Mara-struck had crept up and chopped the tree, making it fall towards you two . Your first reaction was to leave , but Yanqing didn’t realize until it was too late .

Wouldn’t it be easier if he just died?

(No)

Wouldn’t it mean more attention from father?

(More like hatred)

He favors Yanqing , and others don’t like you , so it would be better for everyone , if he survived , so you did what you thought was the most logical reaction.

Push Yanqing away , and get buried underneath the tree , letting the Mara-struck slash at you until Yanqing recovers from the shock.

As soon as you felt the tree bury you underneath it , a loud crack was heard , and your rib cage felt more and more in pain as the Mara-struck stalled towards you.

While you expected Yanqing to at least help you up , he just ran after he pierced the monster .

Was a little bit of help too much to ask for?..

So, you just lay there , sobbing quietly as the pain in your rib age became more and more unbearable, silently wishing for someone to comfort you .

It didn’t take long for you to slowly loose consciousness, the last thing you heard was ,

“ I’m sorry for everything “

[hawkinasock]

Hihi! I’m back you should not have pointed me back to the ask box if I had more questions I fear I’ll never shut up

Okay onto the question. So, if I understood correctly, you mentioned that Yanqing’s death was ruled an accident(?) on fault of the emanator due to supposed Mara, but like what was the general consensus of the emanator’s claims? Like did the Xianzhou just like not believe it at all? Was it a mixed reaction? Did they just go with it? Accusing someone of even being associated with Abundance is already a heavy accusation on the Xianzhou, and I doubt “he smelled funny” would hold up in court for the Emanator-that-cried-Abomination over here (to be fair, it was right), especially for someone as beloved on the Luofu as Yanqing. Sorry I know I keep dragging this thing poor guy was just trying to do its job it just ate the wrong kid oops

Side question/musing: Random thought but I know its probably more plausable that someone gave him the shirt he’s wearing in the design but I just keep picturing his shirt just somehow surviving the digestion fully intact. Like Yanqing himself eh he’s like there buts he’s missing bits of himself (rip human legs you’ll always be famous) but his shirt doesn’t even have a hole in it Yaoshi might’ve just liked the shirt more than him at that point (deadbeat strikes again) they didn’t want a nice shirt to go to waste LMAO

Okay thank you bye <3

Long time no see, anon!

Don't worry about asking too many questions, I love getting asks, especially about my work. It tells me people are interested enough to want to know more. A lot of the times questions actually help me find and fix plot holes, so I welcome them wholeheartedly.

So, the general consensus among the Xianzhou natives was in Yanqing's defense, although there was some mixed feelings.

On one hand, this is Yanqing. He's absolutely beloved and trusted among the Luofu, so no one would want to believe he's an abomination of all things. Its also an absurd claim, considering the nature of abominations as almost always aggressive and having visual indicators of their allegiance to the Abundance. Yanqing is just... not that.

On the other hand, this is an emanator of Lan, one known for detecting abominations through smell. It's hard to believe they could possibly mistake a Xianzhou native for an abomination.

Most people are of the belief that this was a careless mistake and the emanator was in the wrong, but there's still a lingering doubt. If borisins can disguise themselves as foxians, then who's to say any abomination can't infiltrate the Luofu in the form of a human or vidyadhara too? That's what's going on through people's heads at throughout the story, and this kind of civil unrest and paranoia is exactly what Phantylia had been hoping for.

You do make a good point with his shirt. Apparently, fabric is actually really hard to digest, so it may not have been completely destroyed, but he wouldn't have regrown with it on, either. The doylist reason, however, is that I just never decided to give him a new shirt.

The watsonian reason is actually pretty simple. It's not the same shirt. It was given to him by Jing Yuan.

That's all for now. Until next time <3

[teaberrii]

Chapter 22: Yours

You've been Cupid for as long as you can remember. You've brought countless soulmates together, yet you've never found love.

When you're assigned to bring two childhood friends back together, it should be simple until you unexpectedly catch feelings for the mysterious and cold Ph.D. student, Dan Heng, the man with a soulmate… the man with answers to your past.

Dan Heng/You

Notes:

Cross-posted on Ao3

Female reader

Chapter index at the end of chapter one

Stelle couldn’t forget about the man who saved her.

She’d left the house after another fight with her brother about Jing Yuan that day. Stelle didn’t understand why her brother was so dedicated to him. There was something Caelus wasn’t telling her, and the only excuse he gave was that he was protecting both of them. But Stelle didn’t buy it. Caelus was a delivery boy, a job he’d taken up as an easy way to get into the palace. The siblings had agreed that it would be a way to find out what happened to their mother, but Stelle felt her brother got caught up in something dangerous. 

She was so wrapped up in her thoughts that she hadn’t noticed the broken tree trunk that was struggling to hold itself up. In a stroke of bad luck, it struck her when it fell.

“You must’ve been imagining things,” Caelus had said when she told him about the mysterious man who had saved her.

“I wasn’t! Why won’t you believe me?”

“You’re only hurting yourself if you get involved with them.”

“I’d rather get involved with them than magic,” she muttered.

Caelus rolled his eyes. "If what you told me is true, he used magic to help me find you."

Stelle crossed her arms as she changed the topic. “Why have you been spending so much time with the general at the palace? Why is he teaching you so much about magic? That’s not what you should be doing. You’re supposed—”

“...To find out what happened to our mother,” Caelus said, not looking at her. “And that is what I’m doing.” When he looked at her again, Stelle had never seen such a cold look in her brother’s eyes before. “I used to think how our lives would improve if we had more money… more power. But, a simple life is best, Stelle.”

“What are you talking about?”

“The people who rule our nation don’t deserve what they have. They’re criminals. All of them.”

Before she could say anything else, her brother had left.

Stelle stopped. She’d been thinking about her brother’s words when she realized she had wandered back to the same place where she saw the mysterious man.

Would she ever see him again?

As soon as Stelle opens the door, she sees March.

“Heya!” March holds up the takeout she promised to get before coming over. “Hope you’re hungry!” Stelle steps aside and March walks into the empty house. She looks around. “No one’s home?”

“Dad’s at work,” Stelle says. “...Luocha hasn’t been visiting lately.”

March puts the takeout on the counter. “No wonder you called me over. I was thinking you were spending time with him or something.”

“You make it sound like I’m using you.” Stelle hugs her friend. “I missed you, too!”

March laughs. “I know, I know. I’m just kidding!”

Soon, they’re sitting across from each other at the dining room table with a plate of food in front of them. After catching each other up on what’s been happening in their lives, March asks, “Have you heard anything from Caelus?”

“...Not recently.” Stelle picks up a French fry. “But… I dreamt about him yesterday night.”

“Oh, gosh. Don’t tell me it was a premonition.”

“I don’t know, but we were fighting about something.” Stelle sighs. “I didn’t really understand it.”

March waves her hand dismissively while holding a chicken nugget. “Ah, I wouldn’t worry about it. People have weird dreams all the time.”

“I guess.”

March bites into her chicken nugget. “Or… is there a reason why you’re so hung up on it?”

“Well… after I woke up, I suddenly wanted to see Dan Heng.”

“Aw, well, call him up! I’m sure he’d love to hear from you.” March takes a sip of her juice. “Do you know he’s dating Cupid?”

“Officially?”

“Mhmm! He kissed her head and everything! I never thought Dan Heng would be so open about affection.” When Stelle says nothing, March continues, “Is… something wrong?”

“No. Why?”

“Well… I thought you’d be asking a lot of questions. This is Dan Heng we’re talking about! His first official girlfriend! A little late... but hey, better late than never."

Stelle chuckles softly. "Honestly... I never thought Dan Heng would date.”

March almost chokes on her food. “What? What made you think that?”

“He was just always so… I don’t know… indifferent to dating.”

“Yeah… that’s true.” March shrugs. “But aren’t we all like that until we meet that special someone?”

Stelle bites into her hamburger. “Didn’t you say you’re all going on a trip?”

“Yup. You're coming, right?” March gently kicks her friend underneath the table. “Oh, c’mon, Stelle.”

“I didn’t say I wasn’t coming.”

March smiles. “Good. You’d better get packing then!”

◆◆◆

You get a text that morning from Dan Heng that he’s going to see Caelus. You know he's going alone, but you still joke that you’ll miss him while he’s gone. You expect him to flirt back, but his serious response catches you off guard.

Dan Heng: It’s best if I go alone.

You’re still looking at your phone when Pom, sitting across from you, looks up from the food he’s eating.

“Something wrong?”

You put your phone down. “It’s nothing.”

Pom continues staring at you. Then, he looks at your phone. “First couple fight?”

“Why are you smiling?”

Pom laughs. “He’s probably jealous because of what happened yesterday.”

“Jealous?”

"Well, I mean… You had your hand over a guy's naked chest, and he was flirting with you. Dan Heng's a saint, if you ask me." You think back to yesterday night. Dan Heng had never shown any sign he was jealous. He was his usual quiet self, so you never thought anything was wrong. "I know we're supposed to be getting on better terms with Jing Yuan, but he was in love with you, wasn't he? It's totally possible his old feelings are coming back."

“And I thought he was talking about Young,” you say quietly.

“Young?”

"Did you hear what Jing Yuan said about Young? He doesn't believe he's really gone."

Pom looks at the locket around your neck. "I do remember that once we open that thing... it'll set him free. So, yeah, I don't doubt that." Pom leans forward. "Hey... If Young appeared in front of you right now and asked you to go to the afterlife with him, would you?"

You give Pom a deadpan look. "That's impossible."

"It's totally possible!" Pom points toward your locket. "He's probably sitting in that thing just waiting for his chance."

You sigh. "Anyway, I have a feeling we’ll have to make a choice.” You tap your fingers against the table. “The past, the present, the future… I feel like time’s finally catching up to us.”

Pom leans back. “Y’know… we’ve been together for so long.” He looks at you with a slightly sad smile. “What if we end up making different choices?”

“I think I like you better when you’re not asking the hard questions.”

Pom chuckles. “Fine. Then, let me say that poor Dan Heng really has his work cut out for him. He needs to worry about two men from the past. One who seems like he’s rizzing his girlfriend, and the other is his past self who may or may not want to take his girlfriend back with him to… wherever that may be.” Pom sighs dramatically. “Gosh, Cupid. Tell me your secret to getting all the good-looking men. Or, do you just naturally have main character energy?

You raise a brow. “Rizz? Main character energy?” Pom picks up his phone. Soon, he shows you the meaning of the slang terms. You slowly clap. “I don’t know whether to be more impressed that you know how to use a phone so well or you’re very up with the times with your vocab.”

Pom smiles proudly. “Why not both?” Your phone dings with a message. You and Pom glance at the screen, and he smiles. “You know… You could use his jealousy to your advantage.”

“Oh, no,” you deadpan as you stand. “I’m not going to listen to your crazy ideas.”

“Fiiine.” Then, he waves you off. “Don’t have too much fun on your swimsuit shopping date.”

You smile. “Oh, I will.”

After you put the dirty dishes in the kitchen, you’re out the door.

It doesn’t take you long to meet Dan Heng at one of the biggest malls in the city. You catch him standing near the entrance but when you start getting closer, you see that he’s on the phone and hear a little of the conversation.

There’s a pause before he continues, “...I understand, Stelle.” You’re slowly walking up to him now, a little curious at what he’s talking about with Stelle. “I’ll come over tonight.”

You freeze. He’ll go over… to her house… tonight? You don’t want to jump to conclusions, but that’s just suspicious and—

“You’re here.” You snap out of your thoughts when you hear Dan Heng’s voice and feel his hand in yours.

“Ah… Yeah. I just got here.” You awkwardly clear your throat. “Um… I heard you talking on the phone with Stelle. Is everything okay?”

“She wanted to get together with everyone for game night.”

“Game night?” you ask as you and Dan Heng enter the mall.

“It used to be a tradition,” Dan Heng explains. “The five of us would get together on Friday nights to play games together.”

“I guess she wants to bring that back.”

“She wants to take her mind off of Calelus.”

You can understand that Stelle must be worried and lonely. But, still. You tighten your grip on Dan Heng’s hand. “How is he, by the way? Is he… getting better?” It might be a stupid question, but you think you should ask anyway considering your progress with patching things up with Jing Yuan.

“The curse is still spreading." Does this mean the theory about you letting go of your hatred is wrong? Then, as if reading your mind, Dan Heng says, “...You and Jing Yuan are still patching things up. It’s too early to say we’re right or wrong.”

“...Did Caelus remember anything about Stelle?”

There’s a slight pause before Dan Heng says, “Apparently, she met Young more than once.”

“You’re going to what?” Stelle stepped in front of the door, blocking her brother from leaving the house. “Jing Yuan is turning you into a murderer! Why… Why would you want to kill—”

Caelus put a hand over her mouth. “You don’t need to announce it to the world, Stelle. Keep your voice down.”

She slapped his hand away. “Then, explain how killing someone has to do with finding out what happened to—”

“Mom was killed!”

Stelle’s eyes widened. “W-What?”

“I didn’t want to tell you,” Caelus muttered. “But you’re leaving me with no choice.”

“Killed? By who? By—”

“The night she was taken away… She was brought to the palace to become the king’s concubine.” Stelle was shaking as Caelus finally told her everything he knew about their mother. “I hate the royal family, Stelle. I’m going to kill them all. I want to make them suffer.”

“But—”

“Young is the princess’s lover.”

Stelle clenched her fists. “...So, you’re going to kill him to make the princess suffer? It's not his fault for what happened to Mom!"

"They are pawns of a bigger scheme. You wouldn't understand."

Caelus didn’t have time to react as a sharp pain shot through his face. His head was turned, and he slowly looked back at Stelle who was glaring at him. “You’ve turned into a monster! My brother… he would never toy with people’s lives like this!”

“...Get out of the way, Stelle.”

“No.”

Caelus narrowed his eyes. “I’ll be fine, Stelle. I’m not the one who’s going to kill him.”

“...You can’t. I… I won’t let you.”

“What’s gotten into you? Why do you care so much?”

“He was the one who saved my life.”

“Are you sure that was even him?” Caelus asked, crossing his arms. “Have you met him besides that one time?”

Then, looking at her brother in the eyes, she said, “I have.”

“Has Young ever mentioned her?” Dan Heng asks.

“No… Not that I can remember.”

Dan Heng notices the conflicted look on your face. Does it bother you that Young might've met Stelle in secret? Or... is it because you don't have all of your memories?

You and Dan Heng walk in silence for a few minutes before coming to a store that exclusively sells swimsuits. You’re looking at one on a mannequin when a woman approaches you.

“Hi! Are you looking for something in particular?”

“Oh, um, not really. Just looking.”

She smiles. “Well, we have a new summer collection that might interest you!” Before you can say anything, she’s already leading you to a large selection near the back. Dan Heng casually follows you. The woman picks out a black two-piece and puts it over your clothes and looks at Dan Heng.

“What does the boyfriend think?” she asks.

Dan Heng isn’t expecting the sudden question, but he still calmly says, “She’ll look good in anything.”

The woman turns back and smiles. “Let’s pick out a few more styles for you to try!”

Soon, with a bunch of different swimsuits and bikinis draped over your arm, you’re on your way to the changing rooms. Dan Heng is waiting outside while the woman goes off to attend to more customers. He’s leaning against the wall when you unlock the door and peek outside.

“Is something wrong?” he asks.

That’s when you fully open the door and reveal a lavender one-shoulder bikini top and a high-rise bottom. You gently pull the top down. When you look up, you think you see a blush on his cheeks… even though he’s looking more to the side.

“You’re not even looking.”

“I am.”

“Gosh, does it look that bad? I—”

That’s when he turns to you. “It looks good.”

Too good.

The top pushes your breasts together making them look even more flattering. The bottoms make your legs look longer while hugging around your curves. Dan Heng thought he’d been prepared for this date, but you found a way to surprise him.

You smile and look down. “Really? Hm... but let's try something else.”

When you close and lock the door, Dan Heng sighs softly, but his heart doesn’t get a break for long. When you open the door again, you step out in a black, O-ring one piece. Dan Heng never thought he’d like seeing you wear dark colours so much.

“What about this one?”

He steps closer to you. “...It looks good.”

You put a hand on your hip. “Don’t tell me you’re going to say that for everything I try on. C’mon, give me some honesty.”

Dan Heng puts one hand on the doorframe and the other on the opposite side. When he leans in, you get a whiff of his cologne and your heart races.

“I like this one better.” Coupled with the way he’s looking at you, you suddenly want to kiss him. “...I’d rather not say more.” The faint blush on his cheeks worsens, and you smile.

“Could it be you like dark colours?”

Dan Heng hears how you’re enjoying teasing him, so he asks, “If we’re talking about what looks good on you”—he leans closer—”you’d look best in all natural colours.”

Is he saying what you think he’s saying? Without any—

Dan Heng stands upright and nods at the other swimwear you’ve yet to try on. “Are you going to try those on?” He looks at you. “Or, have you decided?”

“I’m going to try them on,” you say a little too quickly.

You catch that little mischievous smile before closing the door.

The next time you open the door, you only poke your head out. “...Um, could you help me with the straps?” you ask.

Who is he to say no?

Dan Heng closes and locks the door behind him. He glances at you in the mirror who’s holding the straps of the one-shoulder top together. He puts his hand on yours and you slowly let go to let Dan Heng handle the straps. Is it silly that his occasional touches on your bare skin make you nervous? You’re looking off to the side but when you look back at the mirror, you catch Dan Heng's gaze as he finishes tying the straps. Then, he puts his hands on your shoulders.

With a genuine smile, he says, “This one looks good, too.”

You turn around and put one hand in his hair. When he doesn’t pull away, you kiss him, and he instantly returns it. His thumb runs along the curve of your throat as his body closes the gap between you and him. His hand finds itself in your hair at the nape of your neck, drawing you closer. Warmth and sweetness pour throughout your body as kiss after kiss makes the world melt away around you. You feel a cautious touch on your waist as if he’s asking for permission. You take his hand and put it on the small of your back where you feel it roam upwards until his fingers find the straps again…

Dan Heng is the first to break away. You can see it in his eyes. He’s holding something back.

“...What is it?” you ask breathlessly. You put a hand on his cheek. “Tell me.”

His forehead is against yours as he says, “Your lips. Your kiss. Everything about you… I want them to belong to me… and me alone.” It takes you a moment to realize that your back is now against the wall. The intensity in his eyes is enough to send your nerves on fire. “...You’re my woman.” His lips briefly touch yours; one of his hands is on your outer thigh. “...No one can make you feel the way I make you feel.”

His lips find your neck, and you gasp as he lifts one of your legs. Your arms go around him, holding in the breaths as his hungry, butterfly kisses travel lower… and lower…

“...Dan Heng,” you gasp.

When he kisses just above your breast, he draws a quiet moan. He looks up at you, the blush clear on your cheeks. He dips his head lower and uses his teeth to pull down your top until it reveals what he’s looking for. You’re biting your lower lip as his tongue teases its way around until you feel the warmth of his mouth. You grab onto the hook and with each flick of his tongue, you subconsciously grip it tighter until…

Knock. Knock.

“Hi! Is everything okay in there? Are the sizes okay?”

Dan Heng slowly lets you go, making sure you’re stable. Your mind is still a mess when Dan Heng says, “Everything’s fine.”

Your eyes widen as the woman says, “O-Oh! Okay! That’s good!”

Dan Heng has one of his hands on the wall beside you. Then, quietly, he says, “Seems like I didn’t tie it as tight as I thought.” You’re feeling everything all at once. Desire. Frustration. Happiness. It’s coming in waves that you’re so close to not caring about where you are. You need to feel his touch again; heat courses throughout your body as you remember every sensual movement of his tongue. “...Turn around.”

What is he planning now? You do as you’re told, feeling nervous and… arguably a little excited. However, there aren’t any hidden motives. Instead, Dan Heng helps fix your top. Then, with his hands on your shoulders and a little smirk, he says, “...All done.”

You don’t get a chance to say anything when he unlocks the door. You hear him say something to the woman before stepping out and quickly closing the door behind him.

This isn’t how you imagined your date. You aren’t complaining. You just want more.

It’s late afternoon by the time you and Dan Heng leave the mall. You can’t stop thinking about what happened in the changing room, but are you the only one? Dan Heng hasn't brought it up and shows no sign that he's thinking about it.

Suddenly, he looks at you, and asks, "Is something wrong?”

“...Was what happened in the dressing room about yesterday?”

There's a slight pause. Then, “...I heard what Jing Yuan said.” His gaze lands on the pendant. “I know Young will always have a part of you, but when this is all over… I want to be your future.” Then, as if embarrassed, he looks off to the side. “I didn’t mean to sound so serious.”

You take his hand. “I want to know what happened in the past, but… that’s just it. The past.” Dan Heng looks back at you. “If Jing Yuan’s words left any impression on me, it’s that the future is more important.” You glance down. “I… I don’t know what’s going to happen, but”—you take a small breath and look Dan Heng in the eyes—“I know that no matter what happens, I want to be with you.” You smile. “So… no more being all huffy and puffy about Jing Yuan… or Young.”

Dan Heng leans in to kiss you but stops when his phone suddenly buzzes. When he pulls it out, you see the name on the screen, and you slightly frown. Dan Heng notices and gently pinches your cheek.

“...Who’s the one being all huffy and puffy now?”

You haven’t forgotten about your job. What’s going to happen now that you don’t want to give Dan Heng up to Stelle?

“She knows I’m with you,” Dan Heng says, opening the message. “She wants you and Pom to join us for game night.”

“I bet Pom would agree in a flash.”

“What about you?”

You gently pinch Dan Heng’s nose. “What do you think?”

◆◆◆

The palace grounds were eerily quiet that cloudless night. But if one dared to venture to the underground dungeons, they would hear low growls, snarls, and the sounds of chains striking the ground.

“...What…. What are we going to do with them?” A guard holding a torch finally tore his eyes away from the grisly scene of the undead clawing at the ground, desperate for food. The guard that Luocha bumped into that night and the maid that Jing Yuan's wife had attacked were part of them. 

Neither Luocha nor Jing Yuan had an answer. They kept them alive in hopes they would find a cure, but the situation wasn't improving. The curse appeared to be evolving. Even those who hadn't been directly attacked were falling ill, except they didn't turn into monsters. Instead, they were slowly becoming paralyzed.

Time was of the essence.

With the king gone, Jing Yuan and Luocha were now in charge. An announcement was made that anyone who had direct contact with the infected had to come forward. Some people took it seriously. Some didn't. Regardless, the situation had spiralled into chaos.

Misinformation spread like wildfire. With no one unable to identify what in the world this mysterious disease was or a clear source of transmission, everyone was living in absolute terror and trust was slowly becoming a thing of the past.

However, what was truly alarming was the talk between the North and the South.

“...Don’t tell me you’re creating some kind of army.”

Jing Yuan slammed the alcohol on the table. He felt a pang in his heart as he thought about his wife. “They cannot distinguish friend from foe. We are all in danger.”

The King of the South sighed heavily. “Let me get this straight. It's those who have been attacked by the infected are the ones who turn into monsters. However, those who had 'close contact' with the infected are becoming paralyzed?”

“...Perhaps it’s proximity or sharing food, clothing, and other items.”

“...Could we use magic to control the monsters?”

“It’s not about controlling them,” Jing Yuan said, a little baffled that the king he used to serve would propose such a thing. “We need to stop—”

“Think about it, Jing Yuan. They can be used as weapons of war. Humans can finally reign supreme. We can get rid of the human dragons… for good.”

Things were spiralling out of control so fast that Jing Yuan couldn’t keep up. His initial desire for revenge had dug him into a hole that was going beyond rock bottom.

Pom, as a crow, was perched on one of the iron bars of the dungeon cell. His eyes went from Jing Yuan and Luocha to those of the cursed. The shapeshifter thought back to the night he saw Jing Yuan’s wife attack one of the maids. After you'd told him about Jing Yuan's wife attacking you, Pom went straight to work. He'd come to a conclusion and shared it with you just the other night... only for you to hit him with information that felt like a punch to the gut.

“Just like love, hate can be incredibly strong. It's also a never-ending cycle. I hurt you. You hurt me. I hurt you." Pom sighed. "You get the point. The curse carries your hate. It has your essence. No matter who you curse, they will always see you before losing their marbles because you were the one who... hurt them."

“Can’t say that’s a good thing or bad thing,” you muttered.

"...There's also something else." Pom put his hands on your shoulders. "Do you remember when we first planned this entire mission? We were prepared for pretty much anything... We didn't think there would be a way to stop it. But... there is. And, you have to be prepared because—"

"I know. Killing me is the only way this curse can ever stop.”

His eyes widened. “You knew? All this time?”

“You say you’re an expert at magic, Pom, but I’m one step ahead this time.”

“How… How did you—”

You snapped your fingers and a book mysteriously materialized in your hand. Pom quickly took it from you as if unable to believe that you had this in your possession all this time.

"The Grimoire of Black Magic?" Pom asked. "This belongs to the Gods. How did you get your hands on this?"

"...I found it. It appeared not long after Young died."

Pom sighed. "Then... I guess the stories are true."

"Stories?"

"The Grimoire tempts those with enough darkness in their hearts to do terrible things and appears in front of those who have the potential to create such powerful magic." Pom looked at you. "I don't know if this is true, but only those who have the potential to become Gods themselves can wield such magic. This book is owned by them, after all."

"...The Gods may own the book, but not all of them are involved in creating it." You took the book from Pom and flipped to the last page. Then, you muttered something, and pages began to materialize. "I doubt they know of all the curses in this book."

Pom had so many questions, but what he wanted to know most was: "You didn't bother telling me this when we first put this plan together?"

“I didn’t think it was worth mentioning."

Pom’s jaw almost dropped. “...I don’t know if you’re the one who's gone crazy or if… you’re just not scared to die.”

“...You shouldn’t be scared to die, Pom.” You took his hands and put them at his side. “Because living without a purpose is a fate much worse than death.”

Pom immediately sits up, but before he can let what he just saw sink in, he hears a male voice from the doorway.

"Long time no see, Pom." Pom turns, and his eyes widen. The man smiles. "Looks like you remember me. So flattered."

Pom quickly stands and says the name he hasn't said in centuries. "...Sampo."

Chapter 23

End notes:

I'm the author, and I can't believe what happened in this chapter lol

Also, I never intended this but Pom gives me LGBT vibes. I'm here for it though lmao

Tag list: @suoshiii @lordbugs @lxry-chxn @seirenspinel @tanspostsblog @theprinceofkhaos @nqctre @lunavixia @akwardbiscuit @kplatzman @sunsethw4 @hiqhkey @n8mareee

[petrichorium]

here to tell you your type trend revolves around people who have actively rejected society for better or for worse, and you like them possibly because of a desire to do the same, the pressure of expectations being a little much for you at some point (see: gifted kid burnout)

I swear I don’t mean to pick holes bc I did see this at first and go “yep read to filth” but I thought harder and here’s my response:

The vast majority of fictional characters do not conform to society because that’s the nature of a story. The main characters need to stand out, and thus you can make an argument that on some level almost any of them reject society. Many of my favs also do conform despite not even wanting to.

Shanks is actually a rlly good example bc it’s an interesting discussion w him esp within the One Piece narrative. I think he actually conforms more than he wants to—sure he’s a pirate, but he’s an Emperor too, a role he almost forces himself into despite it being limiting. I think in a truly free world (wherein he didn’t have to worry about the weak being preyed upon) he wouldn’t position himself in that way and he’d just sail around w his buddies. Instead he conforms to certain rules of the world—yes even if they’re pirate rules, the station of Emperor is still a societal concept—so that he can do what needs to be done, whatever it is that may be.

And Jing Yuan!!! Very similar situation to Shanks actually!!! Despite what he truly wants and what would make him happy, he continues to remain the Arbiter General of the Luofu and operate within the bounds of his society for the greater good, again something which is quite explicitly limiting to him.

Hell, even Tomura who is probably. The basis of this thought leans into the role society chose to push him at. For Tomura, truly rejecting society within the BNHA narrative would have been to turn away from villainy (which, fair, is what I wanted his ending to be, but alas) and like. There u go that’s my fundamental issue in a nutshell. All characters conform and reject.

But also thank u for finally telling me it was nagging at me noggin for so long LMFAOOOOOOO I get what u were going for I suppose I agree w what it implies about me it’s just. Idk too easy to apply to any character at all yk

[shadowcatzone]

(the au in which only the high elder of the vidyadhara can get one child in each reincarnation)

-imbibitor lunae being too good to have kids (kids are for losers and distract you from your job uwu) until dan feng who in the beginning thought thought the same before meeting yingxing

Dan feng: fertilize my eggs please.

Yingxing: what

Dan feng: what

-xingyue child having a long list of health concerns from birth. Bc they're born a little early. Some aren't actually health concerns but dan feng overreacting

Dan feng: they squeeze their eyes shut when i feed them a lemon! That's not supposed to happen!!

Yingxing: ...why are you giving them lemons??

Dan feng: for their vitamin c deficiency?? Why else would they be so pale???

Yingxing: ...they were born two days ago. Of course they're pale, just take them outside twice.

Dan feng: but they'll die from the light exposure and also whatever the xianzhou put into their air to keep it clean!!!

Yingxing: ...love.

-I need the cut higher bc tumblr is a slut again-

-this means in modern times, xingyue child has a long list with things that aren't actually an issue anymore. Still in dan fengs handwriting.

Bailu: oh you're allergic to lemons?

Xingyue child: not really, no

Bailu: okay... but, you easily get sunburned?

Xingyue child: no, not that either.

Bailu: so... do you have breathing problems?

Xingyue child: yes actually i do have those.

-xingyue child not forgetting prior lives (which will eventually become an issue.) (There are also vidyadhara that forget MORE often, so there should be some that forget LESS often, right?) Meaning they spend 100 years at most in the egg as their body regenerates. They remember everything down to 'melting' in the egg.

Xingyue child: do you know what melting feels like?

Dan heng: no...? ...Do you?

Xingyue child: yeah. It's pretty fucked up and very painful, pray you never remember.

Dan heng: ??????

-it's getting a little dark past this point-

-xingyue child having been forced into a war/conflict (the idea is that there was a non-canon small scuffle between the zhuming and another party. No longer than one or two weeks.) In this life which gave them ptsd as a child (child soldier??) They were supposed to learn, lets just say craftsmanship as a broader term. Ardens regia was the one to throw them into said conflict.

-ardens regia also being the one to tell one or more of their kid/s to watch over xingyue child. But xingyue child still almost dies on multiple occasions.

-xingyue child returning from battle with multiple wounds, fractures and the like. They're getting heavy painkillers and none of the bones properly get fixed. They end up smoking something for the pains, can't feel anything.

-they also have glass jars with their bones, from their ribs, their arms and their teeth. Takes them out as a "party highlight" (they don't like or have parties) literally threw the glasses into yanqings lap when he visited them once. It was a traumatic experience for yanqing, then for jing yuan who yanqing told it to, then for renheng and bailu, who heard it from the general.

Xingyue child: wanna see my bones?

Yanqing: ...your what?

Xingyue child, throwing a glass jar into his lap: MA BOOONES, those are rib bones, oh, these are from my left hand, these are from my right- oh look, the field doctor even gave me the small piece of my lung back!

-they're dead afraid of jingliu (a post i made a while back) and will not be normal about it, even if jingliu doesn't remember OR didn't mean it

Jingliu: *trying to grab them as they try to walk away from the seat of divine foresight* aren't you-

Xingyue child, jumping back, hiding behind jing yuan: DO NOT! TOUCH! THE BLACKSMITH!! DON'T TOUCH! DON'T FIGHT! DON'T BOTHER!

Jing yuan:

Jingliu:

-the artisanship commission being very loyal to their blacksmiths. You fight one of them? Now the order of you and anyone who has any kind of contact to you will be delayed, indefinitely.

Master blacksmith (that one guy, i think): oh they fought and hurt xingyue child, one of our blacksmiths? That's it guys! Put down everything connected to the cloud knights!

-the blacksmiths can and will close down the forges. And the senior cloud knights know better than to pick a fight with a blacksmith.

-xingyue childs muscles being anything but torn and they're basically doing everything with bone strength alone. They don't realise bc too many painkillers. They. Dont. Feel. A. Thing.

-also meaning the first time they're off painkillers after anyone decided to fix their bones, they can't work. For months. They insist. Doctor says try it, be my guest. They try to pick up blades sword- their thumb hurts in this position, but its fine - try to lift it and their arm feels like. Searing pain. Nothing ripped (luckily) but yeah. Not gonna work for a while.

[nettleshuttle]

back from the dead to ramble about my hsr au that i’ll most probably never write<3

so. hear me out:

the alternate setting is a huge city, with many hugely diversified and autonomous communities within, as well as quite the amplitude between rich sectors and its most run down parts. i was thinking san francisco for the reference, but who knows

each district in the city, all of which have quite the autonomous identities due to being rather closed off (via congregating tendencies boosted by city infrastructure layout) and self contained, corresponds to a planet region on the in game map. so there’s a luofu china town somewhere outside the main business sector, a yarilo district somewhere at the outskirts, herta’s research company hq in a multistoried steel-and-glass skyscraper in the uptown, etc

and so, we’ve got a family living somewhere in that city’s traditional, yet partially highly modernized luofu: jing yuan, a high-ranked cop and, effectively, a single parent to his nephew, yanqing. the two live together

yanqing is actually the main protag, because i love him and im totally unbiased. he’s a hot headed, teenaged tangled knot of adhd, endless energy, passion for his fencing classes and adoration for jing yuan. all the same, they’re not your ideal family, seeing how little time jing yuan can actually devote to him outside his job and how grossly he tends to overestimate yanqing’s potential for being responsible, especially for a teenaged kid. yanqing mostly minds his own, working hard to please his dad, though he’s far from independent (especially emotionally)

in the lives of these two, strange things start to go down. jing yuan is even busier, claiming he’s got a difficult case to deal with. unknown to yanqing (at least for a time), he’s tackling the influx of strange drugs in the city’s black market - ones that transform its users into so-called mara after a single dose, creating specially enhanced individuals with sharpened senses and skyrocketed bodily regeneration, who can get a temporary kick of extraordinary powers out of the drug. these come in different kinds, each granting a different kind of power - physical enhancement of the hunt, vitality of the abundance, durability of the preservation… - and they’re highly additive

much to yanqing’s irritation, two people who claim to be old friends of jing yuan start hanging around their place - some kind of artsy history scholar, dan heng, and a highly suspicious guy who looks like a swindler and an organ dealer, blade. they’re helping jing yuan with the investigation - how, yanqing has no idea, but he knows they’re getting way too familiar with his dad

as the case escalates, jing yuan and his two accomplices hide the symptoms of their work-related struggles far less successfully than they think. to subdue raging mara that start to pop up around town, they take the drugs themselves and use the boost to improve their performance on the job. none of that is, of course, official - that’s why jing yuan works with these two rather than regular cop partners. yanqing sees them as two unwelcome guests, prolonging their uninvited and unwarranted stay well beyond the limits of his patience. what’s more, both seem to try and suck up to him to gain an additional access way to jing yuan. why? they must have agendas of their own, especially seeing how dan heng and blade don’t get along that well between the two of them. he supposes he can put up with them though, as long as blade keeps giving out swordsmanship tricks to him…

yanqing catches on far more swiftly regarding the drug case than anyone expects him to - to try and help out his dad, he pretends not to know about anything and, instead, wants to help get to the bottom of the drug mystery by himself. who distributes them? how they are made? for what purpose? how to counter them? what is even going on in that city of theirs?

while roaming around town to find these answers, he meets a strange girl from the yarilo district - clara. they pursue certain trails together, hugely unaware of the danger they’re putting themselves in

ready to do what it takes to get to the bottom of the case, they take the mara drugs too when pressed by circumstances and awaken powers of the icy hunt and brutal destruction. while faced with the after effects of that decision, they struggle to maintain their sanity (and keep clear of jing yuan’s suspicion, which yanqing is still trying to avoid) all while neck deep in the drug market bog that suddenly appears to be a part of a much, much bigger, darker and more supernatural picture than expected

and that’s about it. do i have the solutions to all these mysteries? absolutely not. i’m just digging the modern city hsr reality with a small magical twist, as well as the familial vision of yanqing and jing yuan, with the mysterious and chaotic addition of dan heng and blade. also yanqing and clara should totally be besties!

[eijie-cavies]

Wen Kexing and the great divide.

So as we all know Episode 32 and 33 has left us with a plethora of questions and the fans are divided in terms of their view on Wen Kexing's plan. Tbh that is to be expected if you look at it. It was an asshole move to hide everything from A-Xu and leave him to find his soulmate's dead body only to find holy shit this motherfucker is alive still what the hell. And so a lot of the fans sided with the argument that Wen Kexing never learned and was acting like a selfish lone wolf. But today i am here to try to analyze the plan between Scorpion king, Wen Kexing and Ye bai Ye.

Please keep in mind i haven't watched the entirety of the show yet and so some theories here might not fit in with the rest of Kexing's explanation for the next episode.

Also thid will contain spoilers so please be warned.

Alright let's start. I will be dividing this analysis into parts. 1st part is the show's script and budgeting and why they chose the route that the went with.

2nd part is my theories on the heroes conference and why it was rushed as well as the timeline.

And lastly Wen Kexing's POV and the analysis for his plan and why he did what he did keeping A-Xu in mind as well.

A few extra bonuses is the romeo and juliet plot and why i think it had to be in the plot somehow.

So lets start, sit down and grab a drink for this you will need it.

1st part.

Scriptwriting and budgeting.

This show was supposed to have 45 episode and so the plot would have had more time to marinate and kick in if it weren't for the shortening of the epsiode.

With this in mind the scriptwriter had originally planned for this 45 episode and sadly we won't probably know what was supposed to happen if it weren't cut to 36 episode. But we do have Wolong nuts to thank for giving the drama sponsorship and making the drama into 36 rather than 32. If we had only 32 episodes in this drama everything would have felt too rushed and fast paced. And so to have to cut 9 episodes worth of plot the screewriter was put in a tight spot on how to cram three different events. Namely the kidnapping, the exposing of Zhao Jing and of course the wedding plot as well.

Thus the Romeo and Juliet plot was born. We will be discussing this plot in depth later on in the analysis. Nonetheless if they have had all the freedom and budget it would have been nice to see a plot of Zhou Zishu, Wen Kexing and The Scorpion King all work together to bring Zhao Jing down. For now let us work on the plot given to us.

2.) Timeline.

The heroes conference is a huge deal, this is where EVERYONE of big sects and names gather in the martial arts world, its the equivalent of the whole world witnessing everything. This event is a big part of the plan that the three accomplices had, if they didn't act right away Wen Kexing and Xie'er (Scorpion King) wouldn't have had the chance to expose Zhao Jing in the future, because like what the beauty ghost relayed, once the heroes conference is over Zhao Jing planned on killing Xie'er and eradicating the ghost valley. There would have been no other time to take him down, no time to wait for another heroes conference as Zhao Jing would have risen in power already, they would have been too powerful to stop and the merits he would have gained by then would be multiplies, the people wouldnt see him as evil anymore. Therefore it was crucial to strike at the time where they are most vulnerable and the seed of doubt was still fresh, if they had waited, everyone would have disregarded Wen Kexing as a mad man and praised Zhao Jing for saving them from the purges of the ghost valley.

And scorpion king? Who would believe him if he was the only one to take a stand? His Godfather no doubt would have acted as if he didnt know what Scorpion was saying and act innocent. Even if he was spared Scorpion had no allies other than Wen Kexing who's allies was also born out of the same hatred they had for Zhao Jing. Everyone was forced to act swiftly, it was an all or none kind of situation. Now if we backtrack to the previous episodes, not two episode ago Zhou Zishu was heavily injured because of the kidnapping and was given no time to properly heal before everything needed to be set. As you can see in episode 31 Wen Kexing was in a hurry to meet Xie'er, don't you think it was iffy that he would leave A-Xu like that if he was still injured? The Wen Kexing that we all know would not have moved a single inch from Zhou Zishu's side if he were injured. And this is because of a lot of things which we will be getting to in the third part of the analysis.

Now on the subject of the plan and how Chengling had somehow gotten a hold of it. Simple, Ye bai Yi. He is free to roam around, sending messages and talking to people behind the scenes, we never really knew what he did after he left Wen kexing at four seasons manor and the reason why he had agreed on the rushed reopening of the heroes conference. but if you think about it it fits with the timeline. Zhao Jing wanted to reopen the heroes conference and Ye Bai Yi was sure that they were out to hunt down the chief of the ghost valley. If you remember the letter in episode 27 you will understand.

Why did they get that letter in the first place when the four seasons manor wasnt even fully restored yet? The martial arts world didnt even know that Zishu was on the road to reopening it and yet he got an invitation. This is Ye Bai Yi's first clue and a nudge for Wen Kexing to take action. This leads us to part 3. Wen Kexing's plan.

3. Wen Kexing's plan.

Now the question is why didn't Wen Kexing think to tell Zhou Zishu his plan? Simple. He is heavily injured. Now i was stuck here as well because i would have thought, why couldnt he just trust Zishu of his plan? BUT you all have forgotten this.

Wen Kexing has asked this two times, he wanted tell Chengling already so the kid could process it before he could stage his plan and possibly even tell Zhou Zishu on how he can use the heroes conference as an event where he can expose Zhao Jing. But Zhou Zishu was kidnapped, tortured and injured. There was no time to tell him of the plan without him having to stop Wen Kexing from doing it. At first i thought this didnt make sense, Wen should have trusted Zishu enough to carry on without distrubance right? Well a very nice person in Youtube provided some very interesting and eye opening points for me.

And they are right, if i were Wen kexing i wouldn't want to burden Zishu of having to wait around thinking where i went off to, why do you think he told A-Xiang to take care of Zishu and promised to go back in one piece?

A-Xiang was also kept in the dark of the plan, the only plan she knew was that Wen Kexing is planning to have an alliance with the scorpion king and thats it. He didnt fully disclose everything either.

Wen Kexing's plan was simple, after he was regarded as "Dead" he probably would have went home to tell Zhou Zishu he was completely fine and it was all a ruse to trap Zhao Jing. BUT the problem was that Zishu set out to find him, Bei Yuan and Da Wu couldn't stop him either as they had no time to explain everything without Zishu panicking. Like i said this was all too rushed of a plan for Zishu to comprehend specially when he needed to heal as fast as possible.

What they could only do is give Zishu a medicine to ensure that if he ever did take out the nails he would still be okay. And that was the downfall of Kexing's plan. He didnt expect Zishu to have escaped his friends watchful eyes and go to the siege, ever wonder why Kexing said this when Zishu arrived?

He was trying to convince Zishu to leave, make him believe that Wen Kexing is out for blood. But Zishu didn't fall for it, instead he stayed which was NOT a part of the plan at all. There was nothing Kexing could have done now, the siege was happening and he could only play along and move forward. And if you look closely again just as they were about to attack Kexing, Ye Ba Yi came to fight Kexing at the VERY right time, and who fought Zhou Zishu?

The three ghosts WuChang, his subordinate and Happy ghost. Why didn't anyone else go for Zishu? They could have had the scorpions attack him but they chose the Ghosts who are a part of Wen Kexing's valley, mind you these three ghosts were there when they rescued Zishu wouldn't it just sound stupid if they were fighting Zishu to kill him? No. What they tried to do is separate Zishu from Wen Kexing. Ye Bai ye could have eliminated Wen in 10 moves, he said this himself. But they had this complicated dance that somehow landed Wen Kexing at the edge of the cliff and left Chengling to do the rest.

And so he fell and Zishu followed. If you look closely even Ye Bai Yi was surprised that Zhishu jumped. NONE of it was part of the plan. From the moment Zishu entered to the moment he jumped no one planned for it.

And if you are upset of Zishu having to see Kexing's dead body and breaking his heart, this again was NOT A part of the plan. Beauty ghost was there to protect the corpse, if the corpse had not been burned it would have been presented to the martial art world and Kexing would come back as a different person and telling them "They got it wrong. That corpse is the chief of the ghost valley, i am Wen Kexing the disciple of four seasons manor" and it would have been more belieavable. But plans went south, Zishu found the corpse further solidfying that Kexing (in his mind) is dead and so he took out the nails. Ke xing couldn't show himself to stop Zishu either, there was so little time and he couldn't risk himself be seen.

Some others had been in the dark of the plan as well, not just Zishu, and the reason Wen Kexing didn't dare tell him was not because he didn't trust Zishu to stay away and let the plan carry out, instead he know EXACTLY what this will do to Zishu. Wen Kexing's plan was to HIDE Zishu away until the conference ended. Because with Da Wu and Bei Yuan, there would have been no news about Ke Xing dying that would have reached their place and Zishu would have had all the time to recover as Ke Xing took revenge and finally come back home as a new person.

He NEEDED Zishu to stay away from the fight to help himself heal just enough to get the nails out.

His revenge done and his new goal to be with Zishu for the rest of their lives. But unfortunate events happened, Zishu found out and there was other way to go but forward.

Ever wonder why Kexing had this look on his face on episode 33?

He wanted so bad to explain everything but the spotlight was on him and this was the only time he will be given the chance to take a stand. This is now between him and the Zhao Jing. Like everything there was nothing to do but move forward.

Now for bonus part.

Romeo and Juliet plot.

Romeo and Juliet plot is basically person A percieved as "Dead" and person B endagering their life to the brink of death only to find person A was alive and well but Person B is for real dying.

Now tbh i wasn't a big fan of the Romeo and Juliet plot, this was the reason why fans became so divided and saying Kexing didn't learn his lesson therefore lossing their faith in Kexing and Zishu's relationship. He was pervieved as childish and selfish, And tbh they would have had so many plot devices that they can use to maximize full on plotting and bringing down Zhao Jing. But going back to my first point of the budgeting im guessing the scriptwriter had struggled to cram it all in. It was already episode 33 and they still had two more plots to cram in (the wedding and curing Zishu) so im not as upset as much. In the end the whole staff gave their best and poured their heart and soul into the drama. On an ending note i'll just let this nice person do the talking for me

Thank you for reading! If you guys have your own theories feel free to discuss or voice them out.

[tossawary]

Chapter 24: “Seeing is Believing” of “pride is not the word I’m looking for” random favorite lines and commentary. Not a full list or full commentary, but longer commentary than usual to talk about quest construction. 

-

AN: This was... a weird chapter to write. When I started outlining, I had... the conversation with Shen Qingqiu planned... the conversation with Shen Yuan planned... the fact that SQH, SY, LQG, and LFL was the quest party... and the fact that they get the Eye at the end of it. That was everything. 

The entire rest of this chapter came together FRIDAY LAST WEEK. 

Huan Hua Palace wasn’t going to be there. The Weeper didn’t exist. The Eye or its previous owner wasn’t at all connected to the Garden Master. The Shadow Cave Wolf Spiders didn’t exist. The murder plant didn’t exist. The mysterious monster showing up at the end wasn’t originally planned either. 

I mean, I had a lot of pre-existing plot threads to tie in and weave with, but ohhh boy! Picture someone lying facedown on a floor like, “I forgot to plan the contents of the super important quest...” 

I was originally going to have the Eye quest a lot simpler, but given the weight “Death of the Author” had when I finally reached this part of the story, that wasn’t really going to do! It had to be bigger than that! It needed oomph! This also felt like a good opportunity to really establish the new SQH-SY dynamic. To explore SY fumbling to find a place in this world without strict character role, especially in relation to settled and well-supported SQH. 

- 

“One attempts to remain dignified,” Shen Qingqiu agrees. “As there is little point in kicking and screaming about how such ignobility isn’t fair.”

“Ha! Is there ever?”

“Not in my experience.”

“Yeah, it’s definitely not cute when I do it,” Shang Qinghua jokes.

Shen Qingqiu’s lips actually twitch at that.

Success?!

- 

AN: I wasn’t going into this fic with the intention of writing any Shang Qinghua and Original Shen Qingqiu almost friendship! But it started developing and it seemed a shame not to explore Shang Qinghua developing a real relationship with Shen Qingqiu (though not a particularly close one) when the man is suppose to be the scum villain (and the readers know that the man might get replaced by Shen Yuan). 

I can see myself writing more Shang Qinghua and Original Shen Qingqiu content in the future. Someone dropped a particularly nice prompt for them in my inbox that I’m looking forward to exploring at some point. 

(I mean, not to say that Shang Qinghua has a type, but Shang Qinghua has a type and it’s handsome, deadly, intimidating, frosty men with a villainous character design and trust/abandonment and communication issues. I could make it work.)

- 

“Ah, well, two ‘ideal’ situations come to mind: severing the personal relationship for good… or, ah, talking about how to do better and trying that. You don’t have to forget or even forgive if you don’t want to! But, ah… there’s got to be a difference between totally swallowing your anger and cutting ties forever, right?” Shang Qinghua says awkwardly. “If there’s… ever going to be anything good afterwards…”

Shen Qingqiu stares at him for a sweat-inducing length of time.

 “Ah, fuck,” Shang Qinghua thinks.

“Sorry,” he says. “Ahhh, I’m just… thinking about something someone told me… in… in regards to some of my own problems. Never mind! Never mind!”

- 

AN: Luo Jiahui really is out here making Moshang and Qijiu get their fucking act together just by setting a better example. 

- 

“Shizun, my apologies for the interruption, but I came to ask Shizun if he would be willing to join our music lesson today? The disciples have missed his playing and are eager to present their improvements.”

“...Very well, unless anyone here would disagree…?” Shen Qingqiu looks directly at the Qian Cao Peak cultivator, as though daring her to object and die.

“It’s an excellent suggestion!” the Qian Cao Peak cultivator says quickly.

The young woman smiles. “And perhaps Shizun could sit in on the calligraphy lesson afterwards? In order to offer his opinion on my progress as a teacher?”

“Fishing for compliments is unbecoming,” Shen Qingqiu says dryly.

“Wait, what?” Shang Qinghua thinks.

- 

AN: So, this has all been happening in the background, but Shen Qingqiu accepted this House of Rejuvenation woman onto his Peak about... 6-ish years ago now? This is kind of meant to parallel Shang Qinghua’s once-secret relationship with Luo Jiahui. 

Shang Qinghua was out here trying to be a better person and Shen Qingqiu noticed; now Shen Qingqiu has his own positive (platonic) relationship with a nameless background character who was meant to die for plot reasons. What a thing, huh? If the story was saved because Shang Qinghua started a domino effect of saving random people who went on to change things? 

- 

After all, as Shang Qinghua said to the kid, besides Peerless Cucumber’s apparent talent for cultivation, he knows that his fellow transmigrator has three very important skills that will serve him well on An Ding Peak! 1) An encyclopedia knowledge for even seemingly pointless bullshit (which is kind of flattering, honestly). 2) The willingness to fight total strangers over seemingly pointless bullshit. And 3) a sharp enough tongue to win.

Peerless Cucumber didn’t find these points as funny as Shang Qinghua did.

- 

AN: Shen Yuan was always going to end up on An Ding Peak. I thought about sending him to Qing Jing or Qian Cao or Qiong Ding... or any other Peak... but that would take him too far away from Shang Qinghua to really explore their relationship and to move him around conveniently in the story. And SY sticking to An Ding seemed to best illustrate the fact that SY is lost and doesn’t know what to do except cling to SQH. 

- 

“It’s not much, sure, but it’s yours,” Shang Qinghua says finally. “You’ll be joining the talisman classes soon, so don’t try anything from a book and then need to request some home repairs.”

Peerless Cucumber nods and puts his stack of manuals down on the table.

“How’s your tutorial mission going?”

“Fine,” the kid says shortly. “Have you found anything for the other one yet?”

“Ah, not yet.”

- 

AN: “Are you winning, son?” meme energy here. 

- 

Ah, now Shang Qinghua recognizes his fellow transmigrator’s expression! That’s the same stunned expression one of his Huan Hua not-disciples, Yu Chaonan, made upon meeting the Bai Zhan Peak War God for the first time. Shang Qinghua assumes that Peerless Cucumber was expecting a man who looked more like a musclebound giant and less like a pop idol (if one with amazingly muscular arms), which is a super common and never-not-funny misconception people have about Liu Qingge.  

“Brother of one of the most beautiful women in this world, bro,” Shang Qinghua reminds his fellow transmigrator, amused. Aha! Now Peerless Cucumber’s vehement disinterest in the harem stuff is making even more sense than before!

Shang Qinghua’s assumption gets 100% confirmed when it comes time for Peerless Cucumber to fly with Liu Qingge for the next leg of the journey. The other transmigrator is so embarrassed and awkward about it that Shang Qinghua’s super direct brother-in-law asks if the young man is alright.

- 

AN: This was so fun to write. Shang Qinghua really can use the Liu siblings to gauge people’s sexual/romantic orientation. 

- 

The map (or rather, the copy Shang Qinghua made of the delicate original map) takes them to a green and grey landscape of leafy trees crawling over a wide network of tall cliffs and deep gorges. Gurgling rivers cut through twisting rock formations. Shang Qinghua can’t see any of these rivers on the map. Or these deathly drop ravines. From the outside, the whole thing looks like a natural maze (holy shit, there could be so many monsters and death-traps in there!), and Shang Qinghua would know those golden robes flying low over the hanging trees anywhere.

“Huan Hua,” Liu Qingge mutters.

“Do you think they’re looking for what we’re looking for?” Luo Fanli asks.

“That’s usually how it goes,” Peerless Cucumber says, before Shang Qinghua can.

- 

AN: I came up with the skeleton idea first. Then I was like... “I should give it three eyes.” And then I was like... “But who IS this dead author? A god? A spirit? What grander implications am I spinning here?” 

And THEN I remembered that I had some ambiguous powerful being force the Garden Master into exile due to a flood. This was because, in the Epic of Gilgamesh, the immortal man Gilgamesh meets in the abyss is the survivor of a great flood. So I was like, “Reduce! Re-use! Recycle! There’s my skeleton!” 

So I wanted to relate the skeleton to water because of the flood angle. Water as a symbol of cleansing/reincarnation is a big thing throughout many cultures. I can’t remember exactly how the crying aspect came up, but I knew there was going to be water in the temple now, so at some point my brain like was, “Bro, this skeleton should totally be crying because mythology vibes.” 

So I built the surrounding land off the idea that there was water flowing from or around this temple. At this point, I had decided that Huan Hua Palace should also be looking for this artifact, so I had to come up with a way to hide the temple, yet have a way for SQH’s party to track it down. 

- 

The damage to the doors is worse: someone once upon a time collapsed a part of the cliff face around the entrance, essentially leaving only the top fourth of the utterly smashed stone doors visible. It’s a wall now and has been for ages. It looks like it would take days to dig through the rubble. Someone has even super helpfully carved, “These doors will never open again,” just above the wreck.

“Guess we’ll have to go in as intruders rather than guests!” Luo Fanli says.

“What would be welcoming us inside a lost temple exactly?” Shang Qinghua asks vaguely, inwardly cursing the fact that explosive mining techniques will definitely attract the Huan Hua Palace Sect cultivators’ attention and also probably collapse the whole cliff on them.

“We only have to clear a passage for us, not the whole door,” Peerless Cucumber says optimistically. “Is there a special technique for this kind of thing?”

“Aha, not really.”

“Oh.”

“Why don’t we just keep following the water?” Luo Fanli says.

“...How so?” Shang Qinghua asks.

“Some of those waterfalls could be passages inside,” Liu Qingge explains, because he and the little sister-in-law apparently share the same brain. He’s already eyeing the waterfall wearing down the giant statue on the left.

- 

AN: Temples in quests need to have traps and obstacles and monsters! Well, not ALL of the did, but this one did. I based the obstacles they faced as much as I could around the whole “Death of the Author” theme, while using this whole quest to explore Shen Yuan, Shen Yuan and Shang Qinghua, Shang Qinghua and Liu Qingge and Luo Fanli, and so on. 

The idea here with the door is that the “author” is not going to let them inside the temple to take the interpretation of the narrative (the Eye) for themselves. The story is over (the temple is closed for business)! The author is dead! If they want to get inside, they have to break inside or slip inside as intruders. 

This also creates a convenient obstacle to hold up the Huan Hua Palace Sect cultivators so that our party can be nearly caught later! And shows off Shang Qinghua, Liu Qingge, and Luo Fanli’s twisty lines of thinking. 

- 

Luo Fanli is holding the light and Shang Qinghua passes the other transmigrator to her, while accepting Liu Qingge’s hand for help getting out of the water.

“Ahhh, that was fun,” Shang Qinghua mutters.

Then he notices that Liu Qingge has the Cheng Luan sword out and ready. Shang Qinghua looks through the surrounding darkness, but all he can see are columns and water. For a moment, he thinks he sees something, a prowling shadow at the other end of the cavernous room, but he wipes the water out of his eyes and it’s gone.

- 

AN: The water in Shang Qinghua’s eyes briefly lets him see a flash of the invisible monsters who show up later! It helps up the tension. 

- 

Another low growl rips through the darkness and Peerless Cucumber shuffles a little closer to Shang Qinghua. Because that sounded really fucking close and yet Shang Qinghua still can’t see the thing that’s making that sound.

He doesn’t see Liu Qingge lunge at him either. He only feels his brother-in-law shove him into Peerless Cucumber, knocking them into the water, out of the way of something that howls when Liu Qingge slashes at it with his sword. Shang Qinghua rolls off Peerless Cucumber and looks up just in time to see dark blood splatter across the watery floor. Liu Qingge pursues the attacker with a second slash, but only seems to meet thin air this time.

“It’s invisible!” Luo Fanli cries. “Fuck!”

“Behind you!” Liu Qingge snaps, and spins to slash at the thin air beside him. Dark droplets of blood hit the water again and something hisses at him.

Luo Fanli whirls and slashes, searching for an opponent.

“They’re reflected in the water!” Liu Qingge yells at her, standing guard over Shang Qinghua as he gets to his feet again. “Listen for their footsteps and vocalizations! Feel the demonic energy and air displacement!”

- 

AN: I got this from a list of Dungeons and Dragons puzzles. The idea is that there’s some puzzle that must be solved, but the truth of the room can only be seen in the reflection of the nearby water (or mirror or whatever). 

Which felt fitting for a “Death of the Author” quest! Whatever an author’s intentions, the story is what they actually wrote, so the audience interprets a text without the context of the author’s insight. The truth (of the story) is in the reflection (audience interpretation)! It felt like a fun idea. 

It also allows Shen Yuan to actually contribute to the quest via monster lore and bring up his impaired vision problem. And to confront Shen Yuan with the reality of this world. And to show off Luo Fanli’s fighting skills. And to show off LIU QINGGE’S legendary fighting skills, instincts as a warrior who fights many dangerous beasts, and the fact that he’s clever and observant! 

Liu Qingge is good at what he does! And this is what he does! 

- 

Someone has… angrily… or desperately… carved a lopsided message into the wall.

 “‘If I go blind, so does the world,’” Peerless Cucumber reads.

“...That’s probably not good,” Shang Qinghua says.

“Nooo…” Fanli agrees.

The messages continue as they climb, carved into the walls, the ceilings, the floors. Most of it is illegible. Some of it is just nonsense. Some of it looks like the same kind of historical records carved into the broken tablets. Some of it looks like someone attacked the walls after reading what was written there. There are deep gouges in the walls and cracked marks that would match a giant’s hands.

 “‘The water cleans the lies,’” Peerless Cucumber reads. “‘I am the only one who can see.’ ‘Lies everywhere, lies everywhere, lies everywhere.’ ‘The water cleans the evil.’ ‘I do not have enough tears.’ ‘Everything is nothing now. Everything in vain.’”

“You really don’t need to read them!” Shang Qinghua tells the kid. “It’s fine. It's totally fine.”

- 

AN: This is mostly here to up the tension, but it’s also here to try and give insight into this being and relate them more to the “Death of the Author” and the “Seeing is Believing” themes. 

I also saw the phrase “If I go blind, so does the world” while I was browsing a list of riddles for D&D campaigns and I was like, “THAT’S SICK, I’M USING THAT.” Really brings the “an eye for an eye” and vengeance vibes. (The riddle was longer than that one phrase, but the answer was “the sun”.) 

- 

The top of the temple reveals one massive room that looks like someone was alternatively scratching their insanity into the walls and tearing chunks out of the interior design with their bare hands. Overtop of the rubble is that eerie overgrowth. There’s a fine layer of water over the floor. At the center of it all is an incredibly enormous desk, cracked in half, with a robed skeleton sitting behind it, slumped over the top. It’s a little too large to be an ordinary human.

Plus, its skull is a little too long, probably to accommodate the third eye socket in the forehead. There’s something gleaming softly yellow in the third eye socket.

“Is… there water dripping from its eyes?” Luo Fanli whispers.

“It looks like it…” Peerless Cucumber whispers back. “Like it's crying…?”

“Still…? Is it dead or not?”

 “Holy shit,” Shang Qinghua thinks, slightly nauseated. “System, bro, the worst bro I’ve ever known, tell me that we have not been swimming in a three-eyed skeleton’s magical undead tears or something this whole time.”

The shitty, no-good System stays unsurprisingly silent. 

- 

AN: Okay, so the idea here is that this being was someone who recorded history and shared their knowledge freely. This being had the ability to discern the truth of a person - they were extremely perceptive. (The Weeper is either female or doesn’t have a gender, by the way.) 

The Weeper met the Garden Master at some point. The Garden Master was an asshole, a liar, arrogant, etc.. The Weeper and the Garden Master clashed badly, until the Weeper sent the cleansing flood that nearly destroyed the sect and the Garden Master essentially had to flee to a personal abyss. 

The Garden Master sent the plant as a final “fuck you” to the Weeper. The plant caused the Weeper to slowly go mad. The smashed tablets and destroyed temple are the Weeper’s work. The Weeper (not in a great state of mind) had the temple closed themselves once they realized they and their work had been corrupted. This was a “you destroy my (embellished) reputation, I destroy yours (and your entire life)” plot by the Garden Master. 

The idea behind the tears is the whole “water is cleansing” thing. The Weeper tried to clean away the madness using their magical water-related abilities... and it actually worked for a long time. But eventually the madness began to overpower the effects of the magical water. The Weeper’s tears are from frustration and helplessness at losing control. 

The water inside the temple combats the plant’s physical effects. Also stabbing the root killed the plant and essentially broke its mental/spiritual powers. 

- 

Unfortunately, to get the fuck out of here, they have to go back through the temple. But hey! That’s still a lot better than an extended hike through an underground, haunted desert in darkness! The battle with the now-dead plant caused its growth to writhe around the temple. The vines need to be hacked through sometimes as they travel down through the rooms of broken shelves and shattered tablets.

“So much history lost…” Peerless Cucumber murmurs.

 “He still thinks of himself as a reader - an observer, a visitor, separate from the flow of fate.”

- 

AN: This is... absolutely based on the Heart from the Dishonored franchise. But this sort of item didn’t originate with Dishonored and I need it! It’s a surprise/mystery tool that will help us later! 

The Eye isn’t exactly a mind-reading object. I mean, it kind of is, but it works in a very specific way that I’m looking forward to getting into. 

- 

From there, their path back out of the natural maze is even more careful and stressful than before, now that the Huan Hua Palace Sect cultivators are actively looking for them rather than the temple. It’s slow-going and stressful and silent, except for when the Weeper’s Eye presses too close against his chest.

 “He is afraid that if he starts screaming, he will never stop,” it tells him, when he’s looking at a pale-faced Peerless Cucumber, as they fly over a particularly deathly-looking drop.

 “Oh, me too, bro!” Shang Qinghua thinks. “Seriously! Tell me something I don’t know!”

- 

AN: Having Shang Qinghua be totally unimpressed by an object like this was very funny to me. He’s the author! He’s a transmigrator! He knows these people well! He already has insight into their situations. 

- 

Shang Qinghua groans, but supposes that Peerless Cucumber would have at least been disguising Liu Qingge from the back. “You tell them that you were tracking thieves who stole something from Cang Qiong Mountain Sect,” he says quickly. “Rule of embarrassment! Admitting something that makes us look bad to a rival makes it sound true. Don’t tell them what was stolen and act really offended if they try to poke into Cang Qiong business. I’ll come back as soon as I get these two out!”

Liu Qingge nods and launches forward into the fight.

“We’re just leaving him?” Peerless Cucumber says, as they do exactly that.

“I’ll get changed and come back ‘looking for him for urgent sect business’ as soon as I’ve dropped you two off in the last town,” Shang Qinghua says. “I’m really good at acting stressed and confused, and at desperately needing an unstoppable wandering Liu Qingge back at Cang Qiong Mountain Sect immediately. Now let’s go! Let’s go! Mission isn’t over yet!”

- 

AN: Shang Qinghua is, at heart, a liar. I love him. 

[tossawary]

Some random favorite lines (with commentary) of Chapter 23: “Swallowing Your Heart” of “pride is not the word I’m looking for” because I’m doing a re-read. Not a full list or full commentary.

-

Liu Qingge shoves him off his sword.

Plot twist! Betrayal! Shang Qinghua doesn’t have time to get over his shock at such an attack before Liu Qingge has caught the riderless sword in one hand and caught the swordless rider over his shoulder.

The Bai Zhan Peak War God flies on to Qian Cao Peak with his new cargo.

Shang Qinghua slaps the man on the back and wheezes.

“Have you done that move before?!” he demands, because that was so fucking smooth it’s offensive. It really does offend him! He’s super offended right now!

“Mingyan,” Liu Qingge says, like this explains everything. “And Fanli.”

It kind of does explain everything.

- 

AN: That LQG effortlessly manhandled SQH in the same way that he manhandles his sister. This is how LQG shows affection. LMY is not a fan of it either. 

-

“Ming Fan is a good sparring partner,” Binghe says as part of his tirade, like he’s confessing something. “But he needs sooooo many compliments to soothe his pride. ‘Oh, I knocked Shixiong over because he’s such a good teacher! Thank you, Shixiong, for helping me practice this move. Shixiong, I really admire how you don’t let the little things bother you because you’re so confident and skilled.’ I think he’s getting better now, but it’s still tiring sometimes. Uncle, some people really can’t take even a well-meaning criticism without falling apart.”

- 

AN: This conversation was definitely a jab at Shang Qinghua relationship with Mobei-Jun, but it also extends to Yue Qingyuan and Shen Qingqiu. 

- 

Binghe says that he also heard some Qiong Ding Peak people are here now, but he doesn’t know what they’re doing. Beyond that, not that much has apparently happened while Shang Qinghua was sleeping the day away! Liu Qingge came by, probably to report to his scheming wife, who was yet again totally and embarrassingly correct about Shang Qinghua’s state of being. Chen Xuan, whom Binghe embarrassingly correctly identified as Disciple Dumpling Thief’s Friend, dropped by, but only to say not to worry about the day-in-day-out of An Ding Peak.

- 

AN: Binghe knows Shang Qinghua’s nicknames for his favorite disciples. 

- 

Binghe curls up with his arms around and his head resting on Shang Qinghua’s stomach, while Shang Qinghua rubs his protagonist son’s back.

- 

AN: Either of these characters getting unconditional platonic affection is SO UNUSUAL that it hurts. People need hugs at all ages! 

- 

The kindest option here might be the demon lord coming back sometime in the next few days and pretending the entire interaction never happened. Shang Qinghua will tell the man that it was a human thing, some kind of nervous fit, and beg forgiveness for his lapse in presentation! Well, he probably should, except… he doesn’t really want to do that. He doesn’t really want to go, “My king, my apologies for the mess! Let me, ah, let me just swallow all of those words I threw out there, just chew them back up, gulp them down into some vital organ to rot there forever, so we can never talk about them ever again.”

Mobei-Jun seems to still be his Mobei-Jun, looking at that confrontation in hindsight, and not… not any other Mobei-Jun. People in general seem to have stayed the same, besides Peerless Cucumber being fitted into the picture as some mysterious intruder. All those years of service and loyalty and companionship Shang Qinghua remembers with Mobei-Jun haven’t vanished on him. “All current achievements have been preserved” and all that!

So, part of him wants to go, “So! Those things I said! What about them, huh? Do you have anything to say to any of that, my king? Anything at all?” 

- 

AN: Shang Qinghua wants to OPEN UP and he can’t make himself take that step when his nephew’s life is on the line. MBJ has not made himself explicitly safe yet. Unspoken understandings can only go so far here. 

- 

“Was it something really bad?” Luo Fanli presses, leaning back along his desk until she’s practically lying down on it.

Not in a sexy pose or anything, just in a put-upon flop, kind of like a tired child finding the oasis of a department store furniture display during a too-long shopping trip or a toddler denied candy pouting on the floor of the grocery store. His little sister-in-law is not greatly concerned with dignity, much to her sister’s dismay and the eternal frustration of Qi Qingqi. She says life is too short for it.

“No one died.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“Well, it means that everyone lived through it,” Shang Qinghua explains.

-

AN: Shang Qinghua’s relationship with Luo Fanli is fun. I’m looking forward to putting Luo Fanli in a room with Shen Yuan. SY needs friends. Luo Fanli @ Shen Yuan: “Idk, he’s a weirdo, but he’s uncle-shaped, right?” 

- 

Except when Shang Qinghua opens the soup container, it’s still completely full. None of his disciples - who are very, very good at acting like they’ve never been fed ever in their life - have helped themselves to even a taste. It’s a big pot! There’s plenty to go around! More than Shang Qinghua could reasonably eat by himself! And yet…

His disciples have been way too nice to him lately. He feels like he should be checking his pockets for whatever they stole from him when he wasn’t looking. Did the System replace his bratty disciples with good alternate universe ones?! He hates it, thanks!

- 

AN: This is SUCH a low standard... and yet...! It’s very funny to me how much his disciples not stealing food from a sick man says here. 

SQH: “Why are all my disciples such sticky-fingered brats?!” 

LJH: “Because you think it’s funny.” 

SQH: “Oh, yeah.” 

- 

Wow, Peerless Cucumber doesn’t seem pleased to see him! Shang Qinghua hasn’t suffered a glare that venomous since… well, Shen Qingqiu, maybe? Okay, so maybe the switch would have worked a little bit! But Shang Qinghua is still glad it didn’t happen, even if the System fucked up the rest of reality (somehow, Shang Qinghua still hasn’t figured out how exactly) out of revenge for its own shitty choices falling through.

“Where have you been?” Peerless Cucumber demands.

“Busy?” Shang Qinghua answers, coming closer but not sitting down. “Look, the System just rewrote bits of reality on me because of your fumbled arrival tipping some invisible scales and it has not been forthcoming about the changes. I had things to check on and things have been a bit political. I sent you a message.”

“That message said a lot of nothing,” Peerless Cucumber says, but with less venom.

“Aha, yeah. Well, I’m here now.”

Peerless Cucumber looks frustrated, but finally scoots over so that Shang Qinghua can sit beside him on the bench. Shang Qinghua gingerly sits, giving the kid space.

Shang Qinghua is being super calm for the other transmigrator right now! He’s very calm here! The calmest!

- 

AN: SY really is a scared kid putting up a front. Which works out, because SQH is a dad here (and thinks SY’s insults are mostly just funny). 

- 

Out of the corner of his eye, Shang Qinghua can see a Qian Cao Peak cultivator standing impatiently by the Qiong Ding Peak guard. And… someone bouncing on their toes in a Qing Jing Peak uniform? Speak of the half-demon future tyrant of this world!

“Looks like we’ll have to continue this later,” Shang Qinghua says.

“My assisted meditation appointment,” Peerless Cucumber confirms glumly, looking as though he’s never experienced inner peace in his life and has no intention of willingly doing so. 

- 

AN: I took SY as genuinely having a knack for cultivating and that’s the interpretation I’m using for this fic, especially since I gave the Original Shen Qingqiu health problems that nearly killed him. In an earlier chapter, Mu Qingfang mentions needing to “replace Shen Qingqiu’s entire cultivation system”, which I planted for Shen Yuan getting a free, extremely stable highly developed cultivation system as part of his transmigration later. 

I mean, Shen Yuan manages to weather Liu Qingge’s qi deviation, a great deal of stress, Without-A-Cure, and etc., and he’s remarkably stable through most of it. So I’m leaning towards “a little bit of System assistance” here. The System was going to replace both Shen Qingqiu and SQQ’s unstable cultivation system out for Shen Yuan and a more stable cultivation system. 

SQQ still has a cultivation system. If he didn’t, it would have been mentioned by now. SQQ is repeatedly stated to be improving well in this chapter. I think Mu Qingfang would have noticed if SQQ didn’t have cultivation anymore. 

- 

“Then wouldn’t you be Luo-Shixiong to me?” Peerless Cucumber suggests wryly to the protagonist, who is both about five years younger than him and still shorter. (Mu Qingfang said that their guest seems to believe that he’s newly twenty. Whether or not the kid is editing his age up or down, Shang Qinghua has decided that he’s just not going to fucking think about this fact.)

“Uh,” Luo Binghe says, looking stunned and then to Shang Qinghua for help. Ha, he’s flustered, which doesn’t happen often. That’s adorable.. “...Maybe?”

Shang Qinghua snorts and remains unhelpful. Ning Yingying is actually about a year younger than Luo Binghe is, Shang Qinghua knows, but she’s been a member of the sect for significantly longer. Binghe might have some shidi and shimei soon with the next entrance test and he’s been very excited about that, but he clearly doesn’t know what to do with a “shidi” closer to his young auntie’s age than his own. Kind of weird seniors and juniors are just part of the sect experience, nephew! Get used to it!

“Thank you, regardless,” Peerless Cucumber says.

“Of course,” Binghe agrees quickly.

- 

AN: SQH is probably going to look back on this moment and go, “Hmm.” 

- 

‘You’re very resourceful,” his sister-in-law says slyly.

“I am very resourceful,” Shang Qinghua allows, and in a fit of affection reaches up to pinch Luo Jiahui’s cheek like she’s Binghe. “And I have the world’s wisest and least bossy sister-in-law, too! How fortunate I am!”

Luo Jiahui slaps his hand away with a giggle, turning slightly pink.

“At least you know it!” she says.

- 

AN: I’ve been wanting to make SQH pinch someone’s cheek for ages now. 

- 

“...You looked very scared that night,” Luo Jiahui says finally. “It might have seemed worse to you than it was. If your demon can’t be understanding of one bad night, then it’s… I don’t know if there’s a way forward with him at all.” She fixes a determined expression and says, “If any offers are retracted then we’ll manage just fine without him. We’ll tell Qingge and he’ll help. And so will Fanli. Our family won’t fall apart so easily. Hua-Ge doesn’t have to take care of everything and be everything at once to everyone.”

- 

AN: LJH channeling some “dump him! dump him! dump him!” energy. 

- 

Shang Qinghua has never been able to picture cutting ties after all this time. What would he even say? “My king, I think our arrangement has come to an end. I promised to serve you for the rest of my life, but that was when I didn’t think my life was worth very much.” He can’t see that going over well! It’s never really been an option, anyway, since Luo Binghe can’t not unlock his demonic powers and go to the Demon Realm. The System won’t have it.

- 

AN: If SQH said that to MBJ, that would be a one-hit KO, probably. 

Break the man’s heart, why don’t you?