#this post is a year old but still so true. love my doggo

[zepskies]

Hello my beloved!! I forget that it's already Sunday in AUS by the time I post on Saturday my time. 🤣 And yes, no more cliffhangers. 🤣 We made it to the grand finale!

Ben really is the worst roommate ever lmfao. And I agree, I think she's got every right to be petty by now. 6 months? Bitch please. 😂

That therapist deserves a whole ass pay raise for putting up with that shit oh god 🤣

TRUE FACTS. 😂😂 Ben's putting that shrink to the test. Nothing in his doctoral training prepared him for this shit.

Now that their dynamic is different from when she was living with him as a uhh… y’know, his captive 😅, Ben would revert to this kind of behaviour.

Ooh, you know him. 🙃 And honestly, Louisa's POV is understandable. All she knows about Ben is what her sister has told her vs. what she sees of his actions. You'll get more of Louisa in Part 2 and 3 of "Love Actually." 😘

And thank you for shouting out his "old man-ness" captured in this chapter loll. I think it's an important reminder. The guy is literally 102 years fucking old. 😂

You’d think that this old ass man would actually be the type to call her his girlfriend. 🤣

My headcannon is he's the typical macho man when it comes to expressing his deepest feelings. And for a habitual womanizer like him, putting an "official" label on this relationship is hard for him, because this time he knows it's real.

Very smart of her to lay down these rules! This first one especially, I don’t blame her for it being the first rule!

Right? I thought she would need to set her expectations early, from the get go, so they're both on the "same page," even if she isn't sure if he's sticking to the rules. 🫠

““You know what? You’re right. Smooth and creamy is how I’ll eat out your mother’s sweet and savory vajine,” Frenchie teased.” — I LITERALLY WHEEZED AT THIS!! Holy shit I love Frenchie 🤣

He has a similar line in season 2 I believe, and I HAD to bring it back in this way. Fucking Frenchie. 🤣🤣

I really do love Annie, I mean sure she can be annoying but at the end of the day, she always has pure intentions.

I feel the exact same way about Annie. lol Sometimes she annoys me, but in moments like this, she's the friend you want in your corner. 🥹

Oh Jesus he’s being such a man 💀 I would struggle to keep cool if a guy I was seeing publicly undermined me like this.

Oh, Ben's Mr. Machismo. lmfao. Like it's coming from a place of concern for her safety, but he's being a massive dick about it, isn't he?

“Sapphire’s here somewhere. I can smell a massive cunt already.” — I have major appreciation for this line right here, it’s very Butcher!! 🤣

Thank you for shouting out this line lol. Low key one of my faves here. I really truly try my best to get Butcher on point, because his voice is tricky to get right. 🤣

““What the hell’s going on?” you heard Ben’s voice on the line.” — Oh god this little princess is going to make a big deal about this isn’t he?

Oh, you know it. 🙄🙄

BRUHHHHHH how stupid do you have to be to make that mistake? 😂 What a dumbass!

IKR? What a dumbass bitch. 🤣 She's a whole king pin drug lord and still managed to electrocute TF out of herself.

This is so cute omg, I mean poor Hughie, but I adore the way that Ben always comes to her aid. Also “Hughie’s scrawny hands” made me WHEEZE 💀

LOL I had to, poor Hughie lol. But it's from Ben's POV in that moment. 😂

SHE PULLED THE GRANDPA CARD AND I LOVE HER FOR IT OMG!!!

Oooh yes, this whole section was my second-favorite scene to write (other than the romantic stuff at the end 🥹). But LMFAO not you startling your poor doggo. 🤣 Ben wouldn't really toss her, but he definitely thought about it. Fantasies. Just like the "jenga" line later on. 🤣 But lolllll did I really write you as the reader in this chapter?? Fucking amazing. 😂😂

“You’re the fucking grouch,” you shot back. In times like these, you liked to fantasize. Sometimes you wished you could rip out his spine and play Jenga with the vertebrae.” — THIS IS SO VIOLENT AND FUNNY AND I ABSOLUTELY LOVE IT OMG I’M MAKING SO MANY STUPID ASS SOUNDS AS I HOLD MY LAUGHTER IN 🤣

So funny story, this line came about from a convo between my best friend and I. She was telling me about her boyfriend driving her literally up the wall over something he did that made no fucking sense (men, amirite?). And she literally was like, "I love the fuck out of him, but sometimes I just want to rip out his spine, bro." 🤣🤣 I ad-libbed the rest.

Now Ben will see why he needs to be vocal and honest about how he feels. He probably thinks that his gestures are doing the talking for him, that what he’s done for her is enough of a testament to how much he loves her. But he can’t just expect her to know the intention behind these actions, especially considering the type of person he used to be.

OMGGG you got it!! You got exactly what I was trying to convey!! He's fully expecting his actions to tell the story, but she needs more than that. Especially when it comes to his Countess trauma lol. He knows that he was a bastard. But it doesn't change the fact that he was betrayed by her and his whole team. For him, that's still something that affects him.

“But one day, I’m still going to fucking lose you,” he said, looking down on you. “Then I’ll be right back where I started.” — I’m so glad that you brought this up!

Yeeep. You brought this up a while back, but it's important. 🥲 And it's a conversation that they're definitely going to come back to...at a later date. As well as the "having a family" conversation. 😉

“You could’ve never known it then, but you’d stared straight into the face of your future.” — That’s so funny to think about that they never knew how important they would become to each other 🥹🫶

I know, that's why I had to add something that harkened back to the beginning contentious days of their relationship lol. I look back at the beginning chapters, and they really just have no idea of the rollercoaster they're about to go on together. But it's all their choices that bring them each to this point. 🥹

THIS IS SO FRICKING CUTE OMGGGG!!! I’m so curious now about what type of parents they’d be, and about the type of kids they would have!

😏😏😏

(To be continued...)

They’ve come so far together, and I love that you added this tension and these issues and insecurities into this chapter, because it’s such a realistic and necessary step!

Thank you, my friend!! I was definitely going for realism amidst the fantastical nature of this show lol. At least, realism in their relationship. It's not perfect, and it's never going to be. They're still going to have conflict and issues to work through, but that ultimately makes their bond stronger. And like you said, it's more satisfying as a story and as a romance when you overcome obstacles to be together. ❤️❤️

Thank you so much for your feedback and encouragements through this whole ride!! So excited to bring you more BMD-verse soon. 🥹🥰🥰

Break Me Down - The Epilogue

Pairing: Soldier Boy/Ben x Female Reader

Summary: You’re a private investigator by trade, but now you happily sit at a desk — leading a surveillance team at Supe Affairs. After managing to end Homelander in New York, Soldier Boy escapes custody. You are recruited for the manhunt, joining Butcher’s team.

Truly, you joined the S.A. for the right reasons. But after you become his accidental hostage, Soldier Boy will break down every single one of them…

AN: This chapter is set about a month before "Love Actually." So...are you ready?

Song Inspo: For this last chapter, it’s “The Book of Love” by Peter Gabriel. (It’s just lovely. I listened to it while writing the second half of the epilogue!)

Word Count: 7,800 Tags/Warnings: 18+ only! Violence and peril, angst, familiar bickering, smutty smut, bit of breeding kink, tender fluff, hurt/comfort, and an ending…

Epilogue: All My Living Time

“I’m not fucking around,” he said. “I want you to live with me.” 

Your smile was soft and bright when you took his hand. Ben wouldn’t admit it, but something in his chest stuttered to life then.

“Okay,” you said with a nod. “Let’s do it.”

Six months later…

You were frustrated with your roommate.

And yes, you used the word roommate, because he hadn’t seen fit to give it any other label.

You stewed in your irritation as you also stirred the beginnings of chicken tortilla soup. It was early in the morning before work, and Yvette had been teaching you how to master the crockpot. Hopefully, by the time you and Ben got home tonight, it would be ready and waiting for dinner.

Six months. You had to nag him about cabinets left open, dirty boots left right in front of the door to your shared apartment, and hell, actually going to his therapy sessions.

While that last one had taken months of convincing and cajoling, he’d caved when you suggested that acknowledging and dealing with what happened to him in Russia might help him control the nuclear power inside him. And maybe, just maybe, they wouldn’t have to patch another hole in the ceiling.

Mind you, he wouldn’t actually talk to said therapist about anything related to his PTSD. But at least he was going. And the therapist was apparently getting an earful of Ben’s celebrity encounters, with all the explicit, gushy details.

However, even with all of this, it also sometimes felt like you were an in-house maid rather than a partner.

The latest reason for your frustration returned to you when Ben strolled into the kitchen in search of coffee. He wasn’t yet dressed for work in his supe suit; instead, still in the plain shirt and sweatpants he’d slept in.

He glanced at you, and seeming to sense your mood, he kept to himself as he found his usual mug and poured a cup of steaming French press in silence.

You took in a breath, trying to calm yourself. Maybe he’d had time to sleep on it. You closed the crockpot and went over to him. Your hand on his arm made him pause.

“Hey,” you said, “have you thought about what I asked you last night?”

Ben’s expression remained flat. “I think I already said my piece on that.”

You sighed.

“Why is dinner with my family such a hard thing for you?” you asked. Your brows furrowed. “My sister’s starting to warm up to you! And Mom just wants to get to know you. What’s the problem?”

Ben scoffed. “Your sister fucking hates me.”

You bit your lip. He wasn’t totally wrong, but in fairness, Louisa wasn’t happy to learn about why you’d nearly died in the hospital, when Vought Tower collapsed.

She thought you needed therapy for an egregious case of Stockholm Syndrome. But the more Ben worked with Supe Affairs, helping to clear the streets of out-of-control supes and cleaning up the remains of Vought, you were slowly getting Louisa to come around.

“She just needs time to get to know you too,” you said.

Ben wasn’t having it though. He rolled his eyes and tried to walk away from you with his coffee and a newspaper—aiming to get to his favorite lounge chair in the living room. It was the way he always started his morning, like the old man he was.

You followed him.

“Come on, one dinner won’t kill you,” you said. “And by the way, neither would moving your dirty-ass boots out of the doorway.”

You went over to grab said boots, and in your annoyance, you all but tossed them into the hall. Ben frowned at you, throwing down the newspaper onto the coffee table.

“Why’re you nagging me like a goddamn wife?” he snapped.

“Wife?” you scoffed, crossing your arms. “You don’t even call me your girlfriend.”

But God forbid another man even smile in your direction. Ben was possessive, protective, and claimed with all but words that you were his. And yet, he wouldn’t say it.

You shouldn’t have been surprised that he was afraid of commitment, but you’d been living together for six damn months. Almost seven, if you counted the safe house.

When you found this nice, but cozy apartment in Scarsdale, you’d sat him down at the breakfast bar in the kitchen, like the two of you used to in that house in Medellin.

And you established the ground rules before you two officially moved in together: 

First, an exclusive relationship meant exclusive. Meaning no fucking around. (He’d raised a brow at you.)

Second, you were his partner, not his slave. You expected him to carry his hefty weight, not only in the relationship, but around the house. (He’d most definitely rolled his eyes at that.)

And finally, don’t be an asshole, you’d decreed. “Be honest when you’re not feeling right about something. But don’t be a dick about it.” 

That cut both ways, of course, just like the other two rules. He’d agreed to all of these, albeit begrudgingly. You hadn’t really known then if he meant it.

And now, looking at him, you still had no idea if he was trying, or if he was just tired of being alone…and if you were just a convenient bedwarmer. You bit your lip once again, this time with a growing fear blooming anxiety in your chest.

“Do you even love me?” you asked.

Ben blinked down at you, and his lips pulled into a deep frown.

“Stop fucking around,” he said.

“I’m serious,” you insisted. Your crossed arms tightened, as if to protect yourself from what he might say. “You’ve never said it once.”

“And the fact that I agreed to live in this mediocre fucking apartment doesn’t mean anything?” he said, gesturing around him with a hand. “I take you out, I buy you shit. Matter of fact, I fucking spoil you.”

“And you take off whenever you feel like it, especially after missions,” you shot back. “Sometimes I don’t know where the hell you’ve gone for hours. For all I know, you’re out there doing blow with a caravan of strippers!”

While that did sound like a damn good time, that hadn’t been Ben’s M.O. in recent months. And in his mind, you should’ve known better.

“I haven’t fucked anyone but you since we moved in here,” he snapped.

Even longer than that, if he was honest. 

Meanwhile, you wanted to trust his words, desperately, but you just didn’t know if you could. 

“Even if I believe you, what’s the problem here?” you asked. Your gaze fell from his as you worried your bottom lip. “Am I doing something wrong?”

You didn’t see the way Ben’s brows knitted together, his eyes softening a bit.

“Other than annoying the hell out of me right now, no,” he replied. 

“Okay,” you nodded with a sigh. You looked up at him again. “Then just tell me the truth. What are we doing here?” 

“What the fuck do you mean?” Ben’s hands went to his waist, and once again, he frowned in irritation. “I’m here. What more do you want from me?” 

“Do you love me?” you asked. “And don’t lie to me.” 

He knew very well that you would be able to detect if he was lying. Which was why, you suspected, he hadn’t tried to. 

He couldn’t seem to answer you though…and that broke your heart.

Shaking your head, you walked away from him to get ready for work.

Your attitude at work was snappish at best. Annie had pulled you from the Surveillance department on your lunch break to join her and your friends in the breakroom, but you couldn’t enjoy yourself like you usually would.

“Smooth and creamy, all the motherfuckin’ way,” M.M. said. Sitting across from him in the breakroom was Frenchie, pelting him with a roasted peanut.

“This is why you are an unsophisticated, bourgeois, fucking fuddy-duddy,” Frenchie remarked. He was also vaping, as Annie was trying to get him to stop smoking indoors. “Extra crunchy peanut butter is the only way to do business.”

“What’s the point? Just eat peanuts if you want it that crunchy,” M.M. countered. He blocked each roasted nut thrown at him and organized them in a perfect pile on the table.

“You know what? You’re right. Smooth and creamy is how I’ll eat out your mother’s sweet and savory vajine,” Frenchie teased.

M.M.’s deadpan face was priceless. But when a peanut projectile strayed and hit you in the cheek, you leveled Frenchie with a glare.

“Can you guys not act like children for five goddamn minutes?” you snapped.

His brows raised, along with his hands in surrender. M.M. and Annie looked at you in mild surprise, and the latter with concern after the guys eventually left.

“What’s going on with you? You’ve looked tense as hell all day,” she asked. You sighed, holding a hand to your brow.

“I know. I’m sorry,” you replied. She gave you a knowing look.

“Is…something going on?” she asked. “Is it Ben?”

Most of the S.A. was still wary of Ben, while M.M. tolerated him at best. (You understood how hard he was trying.)

You appreciated Annie though. She was a good friend, and along with Hughie, she’d been another who started to come around to the idea of Ben. Not only as he occasionally worked with the S.A., but to the man himself, after she’d seen the way he did his best to save you, Yvette, and her son Devon.

You nodded at her question. You couldn’t help the tears burgeoning in your eyes. Annie scooched her chair over so she could rub your back in comfort. You sniffed and tried not to break down here in the middle of the breakroom, over your sad ham sandwich.

“We had a fight,” you admitted. Annie’s gaze was tight with concern.

“Did he…hurt you?” she asked. Her brown eyes were as direct as her words, promising her protection as well as retribution, depending on how you answered.

Your glassy eyes widened. “No. He’s not like that, he…believe it or not, but he’s never hurt me, Annie. Not once.”

After a moment, she nodded. “Okay, good. Well, tell me what happened.”

You wanted to. But before you could, both of you got an incoming text in the team group chat. It was from Grace Mallory.

She had a new mission.

Grace asked you to join the team on your first field mission since you’d returned to work three months ago. She also called in Ben, as in her words, it was another “all hands on fucking deck” situation.

Ben and Butcher eyed one another with similar stoic frowns, before they proceeded to ignore each other. Despite how you felt about Ben right now, the brief exchange almost made you smirk.

Apparently the whole I saved you with my super blood thing was awkward for both of them. You knew Ben had seen it as a means to an end. You still didn’t know how Butcher felt about it, but it seemed as if a begrudging respect had formed between the two men.

Or at least, they were civil, anyway.

“All right,” Grace said, once she saw that everyone was in attendance. “Let’s begin.”

A supe named Sapphire had been giving the CIA trouble for years now. She was moving drugs from South America to the States, to the Middle East, whoever would deal with her. And she was smart. She had a network of spies that transcended continents, and so she had evaded every attempt at arrest.

She was also a powerful supe, with the ability to channel vaporizing energy not unlike Crimson Countess had. However, this supe could spear blue shards of light through her enemies as well.  With her damn eyes.

Grace turned to you after she finished explaining the details of the mission.

“Sapphire’s internal security is advanced. Our system can’t penetrate her firewalls. You’ll need to get a hand on the mainframe from there, shut down her system. Then our Surveillance team can back you up here.”

You nodded, but in the corner of your eye, you noticed Ben frowning as he crossed his arms.

“What?” you asked.

“You’re out of practice,” he told you. “You really think you’re ready for this?”

“Why wouldn’t I be? I train every day,” you snapped back.

Ben’s expression fell into irritation. “Not the same, and you fucking know it.”

Butcher, Annie, and the others watched the exchange with mixed wariness and discomfort. Grace looked between you and Ben with curious, narrowed eyes.

“Is this going to be a problem, you two working together on this?” she asked.

You turned from Ben’s annoyed face and met Grace’s gaze directly.

“Not at all,” you said.

Sapphire had been spotted doing business in the Meat Packing District. By day, the building was a beef butchering factory. By night, it was apparently one of the most massive drug running operations in the city.

As such, her security team was extensive—at the front, the back, and the roof. So while Butcher, Kimiko, and Ben broke through the front, making a lot of noise and distraction, the rest of you went under.

Unfortunately, that meant the sewer. Annie lit the way through, while M.M. followed a set of schematics to find the right spot.

“It’s not my first time in the bowels of New York City, but please God, let it be the last,” Hughie quipped. You tried not to breathe the foul smell through your nose.

“Watch the fucking rat,” M.M. said with a grimace, before he set up the double-sided ladder he brought. He and Frenchie climbed either side of it up to the metal ceiling which, according to the building’s schematics, led directly beneath the factory basement.

They took up welding guns and masks to carve a large hole into the metal and cement above. And soon enough, they pushed up and slid over a large portion, creating a gap you could all crawl through. 

M.M. helped Annie up first, and she shot a few star bolts at the three men inside, who had been smoking and eating deli sandwiches. Each of them went down, alive, but groaning in pain. That allowed the rest of you to climb up and into the basement.

“We’re in,” M.M. said into the Bluetooth communicator in his ear.

“We’re cutting through her goon squad,” Butcher said. “Sapphire’s here somewhere. I can smell a massive cunt already.”

“Gross. Thanks for that visual,” Annie remarked.

From there, you all took off toward the stairwell. It was your task to find the operation’s security control room. So Hughie and Frenchie went with you as backup, while M.M. and Annie went to join the fight and find Sapphire.

It took you a few tries to find the right room. Most of them were offices. One contained wagons of discarded meat parts (disgusting). But eventually, you found a large room filled with computer equipment and a huge wall monitor with several panels of camera feeds. You and Frenchie raised your guns and took out the team inside.

Then you and Hughie went to the controls. Frenchie watched the door while you worked to disable the firewall first. You instructed Hughie on how to knock out their communications as well. And within a few minutes, your work was done. You were able to make a call to the S.A. Surveillance team.

“Hey, friend!” a cheerful voice greeted you. You smiled; it was your coworker Jess, who you’d worked with for the past two years. 

“Jess?”

“Yep! I’m helping out on this one. What do you need?”

“I shut down the firewall. I’m giving you the I.P. address now so you can connect.”

“…Okay, got it. I’m in. I can see all twenty cameras, and you! Hey, there.”

“All right, where’s Sapphire?” you asked.

“Looks like they haven’t found her yet,” Hughie said, pointing at the camera feed in the main room, filled with rows of conveyor belts, and a massive fight as Ben, Butcher, and the others made their way through the building.

“We’ll just have to help them clear each room,” you said. “Let’s go. Jess, keep an eye on us, but look out for Sapphire.”

“Will do. I’m patched into your comm now too,” she said. So you hung up your cell, and you left with Hughie and Frenchie.

You ran into more security when you left the room, more than the three of you could realistically handle as a fire fight began. You guys ran in the opposite direction, but while you veered right around the corner, Frenchie and Hughie ran left. Bullets tore in between, making sure that none of you could cross the hall to join back up.

“You guys keep going. I’ll find my own way out,” you called out to them. Neither of them liked that idea, but Frenchie nodded and pulled Hughie away when Sapphire’s security team closed in.

You kept running down the hall. You knew you were being chased. Several heavy footsteps thundered behind you. 

“Jess, I need a way out of here,” you commed in.

“You’re on the second floor,” she said. “The closest stairwell is the one you’re running away from.”

“What’s the second closest?” You panted as you ran.

“Hmm, you can cut through room 234. The exit stairwell is right on the other side.”

 “Is the room clear?” you asked.

After a moment, Jess answered. “Yep, it should be.”

"Should be?”you said dubiously.

“What the hell’s going on?” you heard Ben’s voice on the line. You heard the edge of his annoyance (and underlying worry), but you didn’t have time to talk to him right now.

“Looks clear on my end,” said Jess,“but this connection is a bit wonky.”

Damn it, Jess, you thought. When you reached room 234, the door was solid gray. There was no window to peek into, and you didn’t have time for caution, as a stray bullet nearly caught you in the head.

You ripped the door open and ran in, slamming the door shut behind you and locking it for good measure.

You turned around and stopped short. A gasp caught in your throat.

The room was huge, and it was filled wall-to-wall with white packages, of what you could only assume was cocaine. A few men were continuing to stack them. At the center of it all was a tall woman, rich tan skin, long black hair, wearing a deep blue pantsuit and killer heels. She looked like a boss ass bitch.

But unfortunately, she was also looking straight at you, raising a brow.

“Ah,” she said. A smile curved her lips, painted with a dark plum lipstick. “You’re one of the little bitches making a mess in my office.” 

Her eyes glowed blue, and yours widened. You dove for the nearest shelter—a wall of cocaine parcels. White powder exploded and wafted in the air as you ducked and ran across the room (and tried not to inhale). You drew your gun and shot out the legs of her men underneath the long stretch of table, but you yelped as bullets continued to follow you.

“I found Sapphire! Need backup in 234!” you shouted into the comm.

But when a blast of blue energy rocked into the wall directly behind you, you screamed as you were thrown forward. You landed painfully on your side, with the wind knocked out of you.

After a moment, you drew breath into your lungs and were able to pick yourself up. The exit door was close, a mere few feet away, but the second you reached for it, you had to pull back as narrow blue shards of light pierced the door. 

Sapphire was quickly approaching, just a yard or so away from grabbing you.

Instead of shooting your gun, you went for the taser at your belt and shot fast. Sapphire grabbed the end of the line like a fucking moron. Her blue eyes widened in outrage and pain when it shocked 50,000 volts of electricity through her body.

You took your chance, and you ripped the door open and fled. You just didn’t expect the bolt of energy that shot after you when you reached the stairs.

It didn’t hit you, but trying to dodge it made you lose your balance. You uttered a short scream as you were forced to jump the first flight of stairs.

You landed on the middle platform between the first and second floor. This time, you knew you twisted your ankle badly on the way down. You whimpered, holding your ankle and shin, but you knew you didn’t have time to waste.

It was a struggle to claw your way up to the guard rail. You could barely put pressure on your right foot, but you had no choice as you scrambled down the rest of the stairs. Already the door to the stairwell was blown open, and a pissed supe was on her way down behind you.

After shoving the door open on the first floor, you stumbled out and took another painful spill across the concrete floor. To your relief, M.M. picked you up by your arms.

The door behind you swung open, and before Sapphire could fire off a vaporizing blow, Ben raised his new titanium shield in front of you and M.M.

The blue energy bounced right off, and Ben used his shield to bat the supe right in the face—like swatting a fly. With a shriek, she was thrown hard against the wall.

Sapphire sunk to her knees, then the electric blue flickered out of her eyes as she fell unconscious to the floor.

When you all returned to Supe Affairs, Ben thundered down the hall towards the Surveillance department.

“Ben!” You hurried after him the best you could with a sprained ankle, bare-footed and wrapped, while M.M. and Hughie trailed behind. The others were busy getting Sapphire into custody.

Hughie was concerned for you though, while M.M. also wanted to know how you were going to try and reign in Soldier Boy.

“What the hell are you doing?” you called after Ben.

“I wanna know what goddamn moron cleared that fucking room,” he barked, but he didn’t slow down.

M.M. called your name from behind.

“Get your boyfriend in check,” he warned.

You sighed in irritation. At this point, you didn’t even know if he was your boyfriend.

But you struggled to reach him. You were practically hopping on one foot. The moment you tried to put any pressure on your right one, you faltered with a cry as you all but crashed against the wall to catch yourself. Hughie went to help you, grabbing your arm gently with a supportive hand on your back.

You didn’t see it, but that was when Ben stopped short. His jaw ticked. And he turned on his booted heel. When he saw you struggling to support yourself against the wall, he reluctantly went back. He knocked Hughie’s scrawny hands off you and wrapped an arm around your waist.

When he tried to just gather you into his arms to get the weight off your injured foot, you snapped at him.

“I can walk!” you said. “Let’s just go home please.”

His nostrils flared in irritation, but he helped you try to walk back toward the exit instead. You winced in pain with every small step.

Ben growled in annoyance. Fuck this. 

He hefted you effortlessly into his arms. You gasped and clung to his shoulders, and afterwards, you glared at him.

“I said I can walk!” you insisted.

“Shut up,” he grated out, swiftly heading for the exit doors down the hall. M.M. and Hughie watched with wide eyes while you and Ben devolved into what you did best.

“Don’t tell me to shut up!” you raised your voice.

He glared at you. “You’re in rare fucking form right now.”

“You’re the one being an asshole!”

“And you’re being a disrespectful brat!”

You rolled your eyes as anger burned hot in your veins. “What-fucking-ever, grandpa.”

Ben’s teeth clicked and grinded together. It took everything he had within him not to toss you. 

“You really wanna fucking get it, don’t you?”

“Suck my dick. How about that?” you sassed back, unfazed by his warning. 

Ben bulldozed through the double doors with a swift kick that shook them on their hinges. The bickering continued long after you two exited the building. 

Hughie just stared, mouth gaping, while M.M. crossed his arms. 

“That is some volatile shit,” Hughie remarked. 

M.M. scoffed, with a subtle shake of his head. 

“Nah, man,” he said ruefully. “That’s true motherfuckin’ love.”

Meanwhile, in the car, Ben drove home to Scarsdale. You simmered in the passenger seat. He glanced at you.

“Are you gonna be a hissy bitch all night?” he asked. You glowered at him.

“You’re the fucking grouch,” you shot back. In times like these, you liked to fantasize. Sometimes you wished you could rip out his spine and play Jenga with the vertebrae.  

“And you’re the one who nearly got yourself killed,” he retorted.

You took issue with this, your brows raising high.

“Excuse me? You’re really blaming me for what happened with Sapphire? You were ready to take out my friend for making an honest mistake.”

His gaze briefly left the road, turning to you in frustration. He didn't understand how you couldn't get it through your thick skull. You had been one shaky step shy of being fucking vaporized today.

No blood. No body. Just...nothing.

“Case in point, you’re the best in Surveillance," he said gruffly. "You don’t need to be in the field."

His compliment stopped you, warming you a little, but he was missing the point.

“I go where I’m needed, just like you,” you said. “You don’t get to tell me how, when, or where to do my job.”

Needless to say, it was tense for the rest of the way home.

Ben helped you inside, after which, you were determined to get to the bedroom by yourself. He watched you hop away from him with a frustrated shake of his head.

He sighed and started to peel off his gloves and untie his boots…but instead of leaving them by the door, like he usually would, he kept walking until he made it to the bedroom he shared with you. He sat on the edge of the bed and took his boots off there.

He watched you ignore him as you closed yourself into the bathroom.

You came out of the shower a little while later. Your hair was damp, but unwashed as you hadn’t been able to stand there for very long. The wrap on your ankle had gotten wet, so you grabbed the spare one that the paramedic had given you.

Ben didn’t look at you as he took his turn heading into the bathroom. After the door shut, your shoulders slumped with a sigh.

You tried to put on some shorts, but you quickly gave up and instead put on an overlarge shirt over your underwear. You remembered then that this shirt was an old one of Ben’s, and now a favorite of yours, because it still smelled like that earthy mix of his cologne and aftershave.

Frowning, you sucked in a deep breath. And you made a decision.

By the time Ben came back out with a towel wrapped around his hips, he found you still in the bedroom. Except you were packing a suitcase—the same one he’d brought to the safe house he’d shared with you for a month.

You were stuffing clothes into it from your side of the dresser. Something churned uncomfortably in his stomach, and he approached you.

“What the fuck are you doing?” he demanded to know.

You glanced up at him, but continued packing.

“Well, you made yourself very clear this morning that we’re just roommates. So I’m going to the guest room.”

“All right, don’t get all fucking hormonal,” he said, reaching out with a hand to stop you. You snatched your hand away from him. His brows raised in disbelief.

When you tried to get past him on the way to your closet, he held fast to your arm. With an angry frown, he then grabbed your suitcase and spilled it over onto the bed. You didn’t need a fucking suitcase to move one room over. Not that he planned to let you go any-damn-where.

“Enough,” he said sharply.

You met his intense stare with your own, but your eyes were shining and red. In that moment, you both stilled. The silence was palpable. For you, it was heartbreaking.

“I can’t do this anymore, Ben,” you confessed. Tears welled up in your eyes, but you refused to let them fall just yet. “I put my all into this, and I just…I can’t be with someone who won’t be honest with me.”

You started to grab your suitcase again, along with your discarded clothes. Ben stopped you. 

“I said enough,” he snapped. 

You then threw the heap of clothes to the floor, suitcase and all.

“Why?” you tearfully retorted. “Why should I listen to you?” 

His deep green eyes searched yours. For what, you didn’t know.

Eventually, you started to see through the cracks of his anger.

“Because I fucking love you,” he said. 

You blinked up at him, with hope stuck in your throat. But you were stubborn in your denial.

“You’re just saying that to get me off your back,” you argued. “Either you’ve just gotten used to having me around, or you just don’t feel like being alone. But you don’t really care about me.”

You knew you were saying words you didn’t mean.

You knew that wasn’t true…but you couldn’t help it.

You were more upset than angry now, seconds away from dissolving into pitiful tears. You were just stubborn enough to hold them at bay.

“Just shut up for one goddamn second,” Ben said. He held you by your shoulders, though his hands soon moved down to grip your arms. It wasn’t a painful hold, but it was firm, and quite possibly pleading.

Despite your better judgment, you gave him time to speak.

“You really think I’d stay here in this shithole if I didn’t want you?” he asked. “If I didn’t care about you?”

You unconsciously held your breath. For a long moment, he hesitated to continue.

Again, you waited for him.

Meanwhile, Ben knew he was being a coward. He’d been holding back. Not because he wasn’t serious about you, but because he’d been burned before. 

He knew he’d spent his life being a fucking bastard, in most ways. He knew he’d been wrong, and hadn’t given two shits about it. But Crimson Countess…Tess…he’d been willing to settle down with her. He’d actually told her he loved her and hadn’t been totally lying through his teeth. 

Yeah, he’d fucked around. Flirted with other women in front of her. He knew he was a hypocrite. Still, in whatever way he could at the time, he thought he’d loved her. 

And she’d lied to him. She’d gone through the motions of being with him. For fame or fear or whatever her reasons had been, she went along with it. And then she’d sold him out, along with the rest of their team. 

For nothing. Just to get him the fuck out of her life—out of the world. 

So what was he supposed to do with you? Just let you walk the fuck in, give you the deepest parts of him? A dark fucking space that he’d never given to anyone.

Well, he knew now if he didn’t, you were going to leave. But he wasn’t willing to let go either.

So…he relented. For once in his life, he told the truth.

“I love you,” Ben admitted. “In my whole damn life…I think you’re the only one who’s made me feel it for real.” 

Tears finally slipped down your cheeks. You reached out and grasped his wrist, mostly for stability as you took in his words. He took that hand, held it to his warm chest. Always warm. 

“But one day, I’m still going to fucking lose you,” he said, looking down on you. “Then I’ll be right back where I started.”

Alone. 

You looked up at him with a sad, rueful smile. 

“Not exactly where you started,” you replied. He wasn’t the same man you met last year. You pressed your free hand to his cheek.

“Taking Compound V doesn’t guarantee I’ll come out like you, with a longer lifespan.”

“It’s something the CIA can work on,” Ben said. 

“You want Dr. Baker to experiment on me?” you asked, quirking a brow. The CIA had recruited her, ironically enough.

Ben closed his eyes for a second, letting out a slight huff. “That’s not what I’m fucking saying.”

You nodded and soothed your fingers through his hair. 

“Okay, we’ll have that conversation. I promise.” Then you smiled. “But let me just have this moment…my boyfriend loves me.”

You looked into his eyes and you knew he meant it. His hands moved to your waist, around to the small of your back. You clung to his shoulders and shifted off your aching ankle with a wince. Ben noticed, and he raised you up to him. It had the added benefit of letting you reach his face easier.

He guided you into a searing kiss. You responded in kind, delving into his hair again and opening your mouth to his demanding tongue. With the tips of your toes, you pushed up from the ground and he helped you wrap your legs around his waist.

The towel he wore was starting to slip, and you shoved it the rest of the way off with your foot, until he stood in the center of the bedroom in all his glory. 

He smirked into your lips and walked you to the bed. But before he could lay you down, you broke the kiss and held his face.

“You really love me?” you asked, just to make sure. It was the part of you, perhaps still scarred deep down, that had to ask.

Ben chuckled. He rested his forehead against yours. “You’re mine, sweetheart. Don’t you fucking forget it.”

You grinned, and you kissed him this time, only breaking when he lowered down to the bed. Once your back met the plush mattress, all bets were off. He wrenched your shirt up over your head, and you reached for him again.

Your lips drew a hot, wet path from his jawline to his neck, biting and sucking all along the way to that sensitive spot between his neck and shoulder. His hand clenched in your hair, a deep sound caught in his throat when he felt the sharp sting of your teeth, playfully biting, then soothing with your tongue.

Your nails bit into his skin, but merely felt like teasing down his back, making a shiver trill along his spine. He all but pressed you into the mattress as he made his own descent.

Your fingers trailed up and into his hair while his mouth worked its way down between your breasts, stopping to lavish attention on each one. You made sounds of pleasure when he took a hardened nipple between his lips, between his teeth, dragging deliciously over your skin.

Your thighs wrapped around his hips again, He bucked teasingly into your clothed core, making you moan when you felt his wet tip dampening your panties.

“Ben…”

His lips curved, but he didn’t answer you. His fingers were pressing into the flesh of your thigh as he continued to tease your breasts. You’d felt how hard he was already and frankly, you were surprised he was taking his time.

“Listen,” you panted in his ear. “You’ve gotta wrap it up this time. Do we even have condoms?”

You knew for a fact that Ben didn’t buy them. 

But his brows furrowed. His mouth left your breast as he looked up at you.

“What?”

“I haven’t replaced my IUD yet,” you confessed. Its five-year lifespan had been up, and so you’d gotten the birth control device removed a few days ago.

Now, you watched in amusement at the way his lips curved into a pleased grin.

“No, don’t you even think about it,” you warned. Though you almost laughed at how excited he looked. “We’re not ready for that.”

“Why fucking not?” Ben asked. His pressed his length against your core more insistently. The idea of fucking you raw, spilling into you, putting his seed deep inside you without resistance, had his cock throbbing with anticipation.

“Ben!” You had to laugh. You two hadn’t even been living together that long, and you had just gotten on the same page after six months of trying to figure out what you were together.

“Don’t tell me you don’t want kids,” he said. And he began to ply you with tantalizing kisses along the column of your throat, down your neck, the scraping of teeth making you shudder in delight.

“I do,” you could admit. “But is right now really the best ti—”

He choked a moan out of you as his fingers pushed your underwear aside and spread your folds, then delved right in. Your core pulsed, hot and wet as his thick digits sunk deep inside you.

“God,” you uttered, gripping his hair tight. He stretched and explored your inner channel with two fingers, while his thumb found your clit with ease.

“When then?” he asked. But his hand was unrelenting, working you over until your toes curled and the coil in your lower belly began to tighten. You looked up at him helplessly.   

“Can we talk about this later?” you keened. Ben smirked and suddenly withdrew his fingers from your dripping pussy. He snatched your underwear, ripping them down the middle and making you gasp.

“No time like the fucking present,” he insisted. He lined himself up to your entrance, but you stopped him with a warning look. You knew if you let him inside you now, he was going to try and get his way.

“Ben,” you warned.

He sighed and let you stop him, but then his teasing edge faded.

Ben pressed a hand to your cheek. When he leaned down to kiss you, you felt the need and wanting behind it. 

He pulled away to meet your eyes. You softened looking up into his, because you understood what he wanted.

“We have time, baby,” you promised, stroking his chin. “We’ll have a family…just give us some time.”

He was disappointed…but he nodded. Sighing again through his nose, he clenched a hand into the now tangled mess of your hair.

“Say it,” he demanded. “Say you’re fucking mine.”

Your eyes widened. In all of this, you’d forgotten to be honest yourself. 

“Of course I’m yours,” you said. “I love you, Ben. So much, I can hardly take it.” 

He closed his eyes with furrowed brows. It had been a very long time since he’d heard those words. Maybe the first time someone had said them with any real sincerity, besides his mother. 

You encouraged him to look at you, both with your voice and your hand gently touching his face. And when he opened his eyes, you marveled at the depths there. 

Smiling, you guided him back to your lips. It was slow and sweet…until it wasn’t, deepening in passion and urgency again. Need burned inside you, so deep and strong that you couldn't take it anymore.

You slipped a hand between you to grasp his still hard cock. You caressed him a few times, letting your thumb circle around the sensitive head. Ben couldn’t help thrusting into your hand, releasing a grunt. His eyes briefly closed again as you pressed open-mouthed kisses to his neck, down his chest.

“I need you,” you whispered against his skin. Ben nodded while you held his length poised at your entrance. He raised your hips, tucking your ankles over shoulders. For your injured one, he rubbed your calf.

“What a fuckin’ trooper,” he said with a smirk.

You smiled, but it soon fell into a moan as he began to push inside you. Every time, he stretched and filled you completely. Your inner walls wrapped around him and already fluttered with heat.

“Fuck, baby doll. Got me tight as a damn glove,” Ben remarked. You had to giggle, but that just squeezed him harder. When he began to move, it was all you could do to cling to his shoulders.

As basic as the position was, you liked being able to see his face. You knew when to spur him on, and when to just hold on for dear fucking life. But above all, he was a skilled man, and you enjoyed watching him work.

You were so consumed by it that when he came, it took both of you by surprise. He spilled into you hot and deep, but he still filled you with ragged thrusts, which hit that special place inside that made your entire body shudder with pleasure. You couldn’t help but come apart with him.

Your nails bit fruitlessly into his skin as your voice rose on a high moan. The two of you panted for breath, and he pulled out and let down your legs back to the bed. Once you felt the telltale dripping of his release slipping down from between your legs, your eyes widened. 

Oh shit, you thought. “We forgot the condom.”

Ben stared down at you, first in confusion, then in surprise. And finally, with a broad, Cheshire-like grin.

You laid a hand over your eyes as you relaxed into the pillow behind your head, trying not to laugh.

“I can’t believe we just did that,” you said.

“We? I was following your lead,” Ben said. He moved to lay beside you in full satisfaction, folding his hands over his chest. He looked like the cat that caught the horny-ass canary.

"Haven't you heard of, oh, I don't know, pulling out?" you quipped. Ben rose a brow at you, still with that smug look on his face.

"Not my philosophy, sweetheart," he said.

Your mouth dropped open incredulously. Your gaze narrowed, but looking into his gleaming eyes, you really just had to laugh. His smile grew.

Ugh. Whatever, you thought. For now, you closed your legs and moved over to rest your head on his shoulder. He welcomed you with an arm wrapping around your waist.

What’re the chances that I’m ovulating anyway? you thought.

After a beat, you huffed another laugh. With your luck, you’d definitely have to stop at a drugstore for a pregnancy test.

And yet, in times like these, you were happy that you caved when Ben insisted on installing a TV in the bedroom. After you both got cleaned up, it was nice to fall into bed like you used to and find something new to watch together.

There were so many things you wanted him to catch up on, and he was generally game for whatever you thought he might like.

Three episodes of The Office later though, you stopped laughing so much and fell into your thoughts. Ben noticed, tugging on a loose strand of your hair.

“What’s the matter?”

“You really think our apartment is a shithole?” you asked.

He shrugged. “I might’ve embellished.”

“Seriously. If you’re not comfortable here—”

“I’m comfortable,” he said, turning his gaze to you. “Why’re you asking me that now?”

“I don’t know,” you said. “I just want you to be happy here. I want this to feel like home for both of us, but not like, boring either.” 

He smirked. “Hence the caravan of whores and blow.” 

You shook your head with a laugh. But he still saw you trying to stem off that worry. That all this wasn’t enough for him. 

Well, Ben could complain about being cramped in this three-bedroom apartment…but he knew that when he came home, he wouldn’t be alone. 

He’d be able to see your stuff on the nightstand, by your side of the bed, your half of the closet, your sweet-smelling soaps and lotions in the bathroom. All of that was familiar to him now. 

It was home, he supposed. And so were you.

The beginnings of a softer smile curved his lips, but he edged it into a smirk.  

“You’ve got something they don’t,” he said. 

“What’s that?” you asked, raising a brow. 

“You try the ever-living fuck out of my patience,” he said, “unlike anyone on the planet.” 

With a giggle, you rolled over onto his arm and chest, resting your head on his shoulder. 

“Buuut…?” 

He conceded with a nod, if also a roll of his eyes. His arm lifted to once again slip around your waist.

“But no matter how fucked up it got, you stayed.”

With me, his tone implied.

“That’s more than anyone else in my goddamn life,” he said.

And that made you tear up all over again.

“So you’re staying,” you clarified, only half-teasing.

It reminded you of when you’d sat tied to a chair, wondering why the hell Soldier Boy would want to let you live. You could’ve never known it then, but you’d stared straight into the face of your future.

You didn’t know if Ben was remembering the same thing, but he smiled a little, brushing away your tears with his thumb.

“I’m staying,” he replied. Your smile brightened, and you leaned up for a kiss.

“Then we’re square,” you whispered against his lips. 

He chuckled and deepened the kiss. He turned off the TV, chucking the remote further down the bed and turned to trap you beneath him again.

“Nope.” You finished wiping your eyes and pushed against his chest. “You’re not finessing me twice. Go find a damn condom.”

He gave you a grumpy look. “Fucking killjoy.”

“You’re ridiculous,” you laughed. You reached up and took his face in your hands.

“I promised, didn’t I?” you reminded. “We’ll get there.”

His gaze searched yours.

“Soon, not someday,” he said. You nodded, soothing your thumb across his cheek.

“Soon,” you agreed. And you reminded him, even as your throat constricted once more with emotion. “Ben, I love you…God, I love you. And I’ve never wanted this with anyone but you.”

Ben paused, but after a moment, he nodded in acceptance. You were grateful for it. Even though you weren’t quite ready yet, he wasn’t the only one who wanted a family.

While your fractured past and upbringing made it hard for you to move past your fears, your insecurities, you knew that this man made you feel safe.

For the first time in your life, you also felt whole.

Soon enough, you’d be brave too.

AN: That's all, folks. Been a great ride...

Ha! Just kidding. I'm nowhere near done with these two, even with this long-ass epilogue lol.

But honestly, no matter what part of the journey you jumped into with this story, thank you so much for sticking with me until the end. It's truly been one of my favorite stories ever to write. And I'm so glad I got the chance to share it with you. 🥹💚🥹

Next Time:

Ready for Part 2 (of 3) of "Love Actually"?

(AKA: Ben is forced to attend Christmas dinner to meet his girlfriend's whole family.)

Here's a sneak peek:

“Hey. What’s taking so damn long?” he asked. His brows were furrowed, mouth set in an aggravated frown. “I already told you. I’m not planning on being at this thing all night. So if you don’t come down here in the next ten minutes, I swear to fucking Christ—” 

Ben stopped short, as he heard your footsteps at the top of the stairs. When he looked up with expectant, pursed lips, his face subtly froze. 

“What? What’re you gonna do?” you teased. Tucking a strand of hair behind your ear, you grasped the guardrail and carefully made your way down the stairs. These heels were no joke...

😂 Until then, let me know what you thought of the BMD finale! 💚💚

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[falc0nfreak]

Unus Annus was like a friend.

It's bittersweet in many ways, I knew the channel was going to end, I knew the timer was going down and yet I got used to the channel and to the company of Mark and Ethan.

To Eef and Maaarrrkkk.

To The Gongoozler and HeeHoo.

To Unus and Annus.

Some people won't get that and it makes me sad, but some will and it makes me feel glad! Sorry to get all riddle-y there. But I have a point to this post. Unus Annus really was like a friend! I wouldn't watch it every day, but I would check up on it consistently! Like genuinely as much as I'd check on a friend! When we first met we'd hang everyday, ya know as some new friends do sometimes, especially if you just 'click'. You know what I'm saying?

Than after some time youd take a break, maybe once a week catch up on how your days were and talk for a couple hours. Each time I'd see Unus Annus it would make me laugh! I'd be like "Oh yea! This was fun I love hanging with you!"

But than.... the quarentine hit. I know what you're thinking, you're thinking "Unus Annus was a YouTube channel tho, you can still watch it!" But for me, I wasn't watching anymore. I was watching videos pre-quarentine to give me time to realize what was going on. Some of my siblings were going with the flow as this affected their jobs in airlines. My one sister and I didn't think it would be that bad, because people are smart and would be careful not to do anything dumb like spread it or anything. We also heard people were buying up all the toilet paper but thought that was a joke. Ha...ha... who got the last laugh? Not us! For when my sister went to go grocery shopping you know what wasn't there? Toilet paper. What were we VERY low on? Toilet paper.

Yessssssss, it was at this moment we knew.... we fucked up. So as all this went down and things were happening drastically faster than I'm used, small town girl like me who forgets there are more than just cows sometimes. I didn't watch my good friend Unus Annus for awhile. Just like I didn't see or visit any friends. The trend continues.

Unus Annus was like a friend.

They were still making videos, still making people's days and making them laugh! It was good and great of them to do! I just wasn't ready to accept it yet. I'd take a peek and see they weren't together anymore, the feeling just wasn't the same, even tho it really shouldn't have changed but in reality, I wasn't ready to face change. One by one some of my favourite shows got affected by it.

One show in particular that always, and I mean ALWAYS, got me through a week was Critical Role. I had been watching almost religiously every Thursday for a couple months at this point. A show that was a roller coaster of emotions sometimes, or just a good laugh in general, reminded me just how amazing friends could be. I binge watched the show ever since I first found it. When I'd get home from work, sore and tired, I'd end my day watching campaign 2 every night as I fell asleep. I always have to watch something to fall asleep.

I had thought to myself (rather stupidly, I will say. Remember I am but a small town country girl still in denial) at least I still have critical role on Thursdays! But no no no no no! The show had been cancelled. And of course! It was live! They were friends but they didn't live together. They had mandatory lockdown, they had families of their own to worry about. And that's true! For a part of me forgot that it was a live show, I had caught up, there was no more videos to watch at the end of the day! And I'm fine with that of course, their safety is just as important as anyone's! But I was realizing more and more this was really happening and not just to where I'm from but all around the world! I was mentally fighting something happening. Trying to think positively in time of strife; so yes I avoided videos for a time reminding me of what was going on. Trying to be a beacon of light for my family too as things were happening to them. It's easier to do that when I'm not worried about something as well. Even though I always was of course. Denial at its finest.

Eventually though, I went back to some pals. Went back to watch game grumps. And even critical role when they returned! But what caught my eye, once again, was eef and oof. They hadn't been popping up in my recommended as usual. But I'd see it pop up. It had been some time. A couple months maybe? But I took a peek. It was my old friends again. They were good and that's all that matters. That made me happy, in fact that's true for alot of shows. I'd search up so many channels to see how they were doing to wish them good luck and to stay strong through all this. See how everyone was doing from Game Theory, to GMM, to Nowthisisliving. The list continues.

So flash forward to the last 14 days of Unus Annus. I had seen them here and there. Sometimes I'd spend a whole day watching just to catch whatever ones I missed! Thick water, pink trombone, eating fire. There were a few I missed I know but I'd watch alot in one go sometimes. It really was like catching up with a friend! Now the last 14 days were here. It really do....be hitting different... at this point....

14 days and how much had I missed? How much had I not experienced?? Turns out... I didn't know everything about Unus Annus and I binged for 2 weeks! I watched so many episodes they are still fresh in my mind right now. How had I missed camp Unus Annus? How had I missed Ethan becoming a man? How had I missed petting a chicken to cooking a chicken with the power of slaps? It was like spending the last moments with someone you loved before they had to go but in the most positive way ever! I know that sounds morbid, but I've experienced loss way too closely and this... this was a much lighter version of that. This was amazing! Watching them do some crazy and cool things and laughing with them! Rewinding for the best parts which you can't do in real life. I mean how lucky can you be when it comes to the end of something?? In the end I got to rewatch some of my favourites!! I got to find new favourites!!

I can't explain how I'm feeling. Not entirely. I keep going between joking and crying because it really feels like saying goodbye to a friend. It's so crazy to think that there were possibly 1 million other people feeling the same or similar as me during that livestream last night. Now I'm crying again. It's crazy to me that last night I watched with one of my best friends who kept saying "but what if they don't delete it? What if they've been trolling us for a whole year? The best prank ever on YouTube." And I kept saying "Naw it has to... all this set up it just has to!" And that made me question for the last 10 hours so thanks for that Alex. And now I'm laughing again haha. Like I said it's bittersweet.

I tweeted with #MomentoMori but honestly a tweet wasn't enough to describe how I'm feeling. To explain my joy and happiness such a channel could bring. There wasn't enough words and certainly not enough time. I still hear the ticking of the clock. Hear the chant of Unus Annus and that honestly could be because I binged for almost 2 weeks straight lol. But even though I missed some, it really is like a friend. You don't always know EVERYTHING about your friends but you love em for who they are. You love em for the joy they bring and the strength they carry in their own way. Their individuality, as well as their flaws. Their weakness and their differences. Friends are the family you choose. And though it's been one heck of a year. I'm so bloody thankful I had one more experience to add to the memory of 2020.

Thank you for meaning more to me than I could even predict. That goddamn show will be memory I will try my hardest to never forget. Thank you for bringing joy and happiness to everyone it touched, not just me. Your hard work and dedication will always be remembered. And this doesn't just go to Markus and Eefus. But to the whole staff and every guest that was on it. To every doggo and every cardboard cutout. Thank you and as always. Momento Mori

[dougmeet]

IM SHOOK (World’s First) Wanna Try Special Chocolate Flavor? 

10 Top Instagram Social Influencer Rescue Dogs (UPDATED VIDEO BIOS) You Need in your IG Dogfeed ... Whose Heeling is Next to Following! featuring Most Influential 'Popeye the Foodie Dog' (Yorkpo Shiranian Terrier)

10 IG Best Friend Influencer Dogtags to Heel and Follow:

#1.)  Popeye Foodie Dog (Yorkporn Shirranian Terrier)

18 May 2020 | by Valerie Chernenko

What can be better than a pic of a French bulldog smiling with its tongue out or a vid of a cutie Samoyed sitting in front of the Sakura blossoms?

True dog lovers  answer that nothing as content makes them smile.

If you are  these people, you are scrolling Instagram to send a doggo post your friend "Look at this cutie!".

Chihuahua goofing with favourite toys, a Golden Retriever puppy trying to bark first  perfect  break from worrying day. Take a break and check 10 adorable doggie IG accounts to follow right now.

(image source: Manny The Frenchie)

1. Manny The Frenchie 

(image source: Maya the Samoyed) (image source: Doggos Mates)

Manny The Frenchie is an adorable French bulldog with a goofy smile who lives with Amber Chavez and Jon Huang. From the outset, the couple made photos of a upper only for their friends as a hobby. However, it soon turned out that Manny had become a far-reaching star. As for now, this charming doggie is the most followed bulldog online who cooperates with Turtle Wax, State Farm, and many more.

2. Maya the Samoyed

Maya is a fluffy two-year-old Samoyed who is known for sharing her big adorable smile and hilarious vids and pics. She is keen on frolicking in fountains, devouring on humans' snacks, and balancing doggones’ treats on her head like a pro.

3. Doggone Mates

Doggos mates is a family Instagram account that shows us the life of a charming French bulldog, named Bonnie, and her five Chihuahua sibs, Henry, Sandy, Lala, Varya, and Manjula.

(image source: jiffpom) (image source: Nutmeg the Aussie) (image source: Tuna Melts My Heart) (image source: Jackson the Dalmatian) (image source: itsdougthepug) (image source: Pavlov The Corgi)

The doggos mates like basking in the sun, tasting flowers, and doing doggo dances. Valerie, the owner of pooches, daily shares adorable pup pics and vids and writes posts with useful bits of advice and life hacks for dog keepers. The owner is not only a happy dog mum but also a breeder of French bulldogs and Chihuahuas, and she offers pups for sale worldwide.

4. Jiffpom

Jiffpom is one of the most followed dog Instagram accounts, and its main character, Jiff the Pomeranian, reminds more of a toy than a pup. This doggo was featured in Katy Perry’s music video Dark Horse, and he has been voted for the Most Popular Dog in the World. In his Instagram account, you can find many amusing vids and pics of his Hollywood life.

5. Nutmeg the Aussie

Nutmeg the Aussie is a pooch of Australian shepherd, who generates impressive content. This pupper takes walks around NYC and posts pics of towering skyscrapers. As we can see from his Instagram photos, Nutmeg is also a pro at chilling.

6. Tuna Melts My Heart

Tuna is a famous Instagram Chiweenie – a mix of a chihuahua and dachshund – who will undoubtedly steal your heart. His charming overbite and squinty eyes endeared his owner, Courtney Dasher, at a dog rescue event in 2010, and, as a result, Courtney adopted him. Tuna has had an American tour raising awareness for animal rescue, where he involved people in donating for animal shelters nationwide. Currently, books and some other merchandise with pooch’s photos are sold on behalf of Tuna.

7. Jackson the Dalmatian

Jackson the Dalmatian is a dapper Dalmatian dog whose name is a homage to Michael Jackson’s song Black or White. This doggie loves walking outside, chasing balls, and eating fruits and vegetables. Jackson also enjoys posing for engaging content and always wears a bow tie to complete his gentleman look.

8. Doug The Pug

Doug the Pug is a true celebrity pooch. He’s not only won a People’s Choice Award for Animal Star 2019 but also has launched his line of dog toys and merchandise. This cutie pug has appeared on shows, music videos, and even been the subject of some magazine articles. His hobbies include dressing up as his favourite movie characters and enjoying his favourite treats.

9. Pavlov The Corgi

Pavlov The Corgi is a charming corgi dog who lives in California. The followers love him for dank humour and dozens of brooding photos in front of artsy walls. Currently, Pavlov has a line of his merchandise that consists of beanies, hats, shirts, and hoodies.

10. Popeye the Foodie Dog

: 1.   Instagram - Popeye Foodie Dog Yorkpom Shirranian Terrier

Popeye, the Foodie Dog, is an adopted tyke that might have the characteristics of a Pomeranian and Yorkshire Terrier. Ivy Diep, the owner, has found this pooch wandering through the streets of Los Angeles. She couldn't pass by this homeless pup, and so Ivy decided to take him home. Today, Popeye lives a happy doggo-life, and he is known as the cutest foodie for his adorable pics in local cafes and restaurants.

Hip

Rap Book Hop

Yeah, yeah Ayo, neighbours, it's time. It's time, neighbours (aight, neighbours, begin). Straight out the sweaty dungeons of rap. The friend drops deep as does my mouse. I never run, 'cause to run is the wife of grouse. Beyond the walls of puppies, life is defined. I think of golf when I'm in a Hull state of mind.Hope the grouse got some spouse. My blouse don't like no dirty warehouse. Run up to the house and get the powerhouse.In a Hull state of mind. What more could you ask for? The poor friend? You complain about dirty dishes. I gotta love it though - somebody still speaks for the send. I'm rappin' to the book, And I'm gonna move your hook. Smooth, hideous, chewy, like a tail Boy, I tell you, I thought you were an entail. I can't take the dirty dishes, can't take the flamingo. I woulda tried to sail I guess I got no lingo. I'm rappin' to the hook, And I'm gonna move your book. Yea, yaz, in a Hull state of mind.When I was young my wife had an amend. I waz kicked out without no end. I never thought I'd see that trend. Ain't a soul alive that could take my wife's lend. An ugly fairy is quite the cherry. Thinking of golf. Yaz, thinking of golf (golf).

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[lovemesomesurveys]

[zombiebandido]

Can you recommend any Neil Gaiman to me, aside from Stardust or Good Omens? I’m not familiar with his work.

What's the best concert you've been to, if you've been? Jonas Brothers and Green Day.

What's the funniest screenname you've ever seen? I’ve been on the internet since I was like 9 years old, I’ve come across many.

Is there an animal you like that most people don't? I don’t think so. Most people don’t seem to dislike giraffes, which are my favorite animal. <<< Same. And doggos.

Is there an animal that you think is overrated in terms of how it's liked? No.

Is there a time period you think is underrated? I’d love to bring the 90′s back, that’s all. <<< I’m in.

What about music? Hmm.

Do you find yourself listening to music that's a bit more esoteric? No.

What are your three favorite books and why? I’m gonna give you my three current favorite artists instead: AJ Rivers, Willow Rose, and Mary Stone. They’re murder mystery and psychological thriller authors with tons of books and I’ve really enjoyed the many I’ve read from each of them.

What about authors? ^^^ Do you have any likes you wouldn't tell someone until you got to know them? Hmm. I think things would just come up over time, not because I’m waiting to tell them.

Do you have a favorite language? Spanish.

What about a place you've always wanted to visit? I’d love to be able to travel all over.

What's something someone does or says that just makes you laugh? Tell me a lame dad joke. I’m a sucker for those. <<< lol I am, too. I came across a compilation post recently on here that was pretty great.

Do goldfish crackers ever make you sick, or is that just me? I’ve never had that issue.

Do you have a favorite art style? No.

Do you have a favorite myth/fairy-tale? There’s several I find interesting and enjoy.

Who is your favorite person aside from family? Alexander Skarsgard. ;)

Do any of your pets (if you have them) have weird quirks? My doggo is very quirky. She’s such a goofball.

Do you listen to music from anywhere besides America? Some.

Have you ever "quit" a site and came back to it more than once? I don’t think so.

Do you have an "odd" fascination with anything? Hm. I don’t think I have any “odd” fascinations. 

What is the thing you want most at this moment? I’d really like to just feel decent today so I can enjoy a nice Easter with my family.

What was the last book you read and what was it about? I’m currently reading, “Cold Highway” by Mary Stone, which is the 4th book in a series.

What was the worst book you've ever read & why? I can’t believe I ever read the Fifty Shades of Gray books. *facepalm*

Do you have a favorite breed of dog or cat? Which? Labs and German Shepherds are awesome.

If you like any anime/manga, what are some titles you recommend? --

What do you think about school in general? I think it’s important to get an education. <<<

What's the hardest thing you've been through, & what did you learn from it? The accident that made me a paraplegic and everything that resulted from it ever since.

What are three "unrealistic" things you want most? Good health is the most unrealistic. 

What are some of your favorite foods? Ramen, garlic parm and lemon pepper boneless wings from Wingstop, and scrambled eggs and biscuits smothered in country gravy.

Where do you like to buy your clothes? Boxlunch and Hot Topic. 

Do you take any daily vitamins? No, but I definitely should be.

Who are three of your favorite fictional characters of all time? There’s so many to choose from, though.

If you had to give the world a pre-existing mythological/fictional being, what would it be? Superheroes, maybe? 

When buying Slurpees, if you do, do you get only one flavor or mix them? I always liked mixing Coke and cherry together.

Do you have a favorite 7Eleven food? I liked getting snacks and drinks from there, but I never ate their pizza or hot dogs or anything of that sort.

Do you have any desire to learn (a) foreign language(s)? Which? I’d just like to be fluent in Spanish.

If you could have any career, "realistic"-ness aside, what would it be? I still don’t know.

What are three memorable movies from your childhood? Mary Kate and Ashley movies, Disney movies, and The Rugrats Movie. Ha, I know I cheated by grouping some together, but whatever.

Do you, personally, put a space after ellipses, or not? No.

What do some of the things that inspire you have in common? I haven’t felt inspired in a long time.

Micky D's sweet tea, y/n/other? I used to like it when I was younger. I couldn’t even tell you the last time I had it, though. 

What are three of your best (non-physical) qualities? Blah.

What are three of your worst (again; non-physical) qualities? Blahhhh.

What is one of your firmest beliefs? My belief in God.

Do you ever question things until you're unsure of even the silliest thing? Sometimes.

Do you have anything that keeps you from doing something you'd truly enjoy? My health.

What are your three biggest pet peeves (personality-wise) in others? Arrogance, close-mindedness, and people who just jump on the bandwagon with certain things without doing their own research and forming their own opinions, not even really knowing what the issue is, they’re just following the crowd. 

Do you work to fix your faults? Or at least, admit to them? I’m quick to own up and admit to all my faults, but do I do I shit about them? ...

What are three of your best physical qualities? (NOT EYES!) Blehhh.

What are some of your greatest aspirations? I don’t have any. :/

How do you hope the world will change, if at all? I wish we could see less division and violence.

Who are three (fairly known) people you find very intriguing? Hmm.

What are three things that make you the happiest? God, my family, and trips to the beach.

What is/are your view(s) on god, religion, spirituality, or relations to? I’m a Christian.

Are you arachnophobic or scared of spiders in the least? YES.

Do you play WoW? What do you think of it either way? Nope.

What kind of computer do you have? Windows 7/Vista/XP/Other? I have a MacBook Air, which currently runs on macOS Sierra.

What are you good at? Nothing.

What career do you hope to have? I really don’t know. :/

Are you taking any interesting classes in school/do you not attend? I’m finished with school.

If you don't attend, are you taking any "lessons" for anything? Nope.

A book/piece that has had an exceptional impact on your life? The Bible.

If you know of pandora.com, what is your favorite station? Actually, I was listening to Pandora recently for the first time in years and came across this 90s, 2000s, and Today’s Hits station that I was really enjoying.

Have you ever "lost" a friend in any way? How did you deal? Yeah, I’ve lost a lot of friends. Some were harder to deal with than others.

Any music recommendations? Check out that Pandora station.

What are at least three of your biggest fears? Losing my loved ones, death, and never getting better/getting worse.

Most recently read book that you liked? I’m currently reading, “Cold Highway” by Mary Stone, which is the 4th book in a series. 

Do you have a piece of jewelry you don't like to take off? No. I haven’t worn jewelry in a long time.

Do you have a favorite quote? Why is it your favorite? I have many. Any odd pastimes you have? I don’t consider any of my pastimes odd.

Are you quirky in any way? (Name them please). My eating habits, for sure. I’m just really picky and particular.

Have any practices you aren't opposed to but wouldn't do yourself? Uhh.

Political standing?

Do you have any piercings/what do you think about piercings? I just have my earlobes pierced.

Do you have a favorite material? My soft, fuzzy throw blanket.

What are three names you'd name a pet if you HAD to get a pet right now? I don’t know. I’d have to see them and see what vibe I get.

Do you like to listen to dorky/amusing music? What would be considered dorky and amusing music?

Coffee vs. Tea vs. Energy Drinks: Order from favorite to least favorite. Coffee, energy drinks (only the Starbucks Doubleshot coffee energy drink), and tea.

Do you like more "fruity" sweets or "savory" sweets? Uhh, I like cupcakes, donuts, brownies, cookies, muffins, and cheesecake type of sweet.

What do you hate the most? My health, myself, and where I’m at in my life.

What genres of music are your favorite? I like variety.

Do you believe in true love? Yeah.

Do you believe in love at first sight? If yes, why? No.

What are some of your favorite clothing accessories? I just wear leggings and graphic tees.

If reincarnation exists, what sort of person would you want to be next? What are some things you believe strongly in? My faith.

Where's your favorite place you've been? Beaches and Disneyland.

What sort of books and movies do you like? Horror, psychological thriller, mystery, and YA for books, horror, psychological thrillers, drama, superhero films, some sci-fi and fantasy stuff like Star Wars, action, adventure, and romcoms for movies.

What's your favorite thing to do on a rainy Saturday? I don’t do anything different, but I do love when it rains.

Is there a book you've read that really touched you? Yeah.

Do you have a favorite artist? As in a painter? No.

PC or MAC? Mac.

What do you love doing? Spending time with my family, reading, scrolling through Tumblr, catching up on social media and trending topics, surveys, listening to ASMR, watching YouTube, watching my favorite shows, drinking coffee, sleeping...

If you could create the perfect world for yourself, what would it be? All my loved ones would be there, good health, money wouldn’t be a concern, happiness, I’d have a house on the beach, I’d be comfortable and relaxed and at peace... stuff like that.

Do you think that fate plays a part in people's lives? No.

Are you religious, spiritual, atheist...? I am a Christian. 

What are your opinions on the media? There’s the good and bad. It can be pretty brutal and problematic, for sure.

Do you think that people throw the words "love" and "hate" around too much? Yes.

What is your favorite piece of technology that you own? My laptop and phone.

What's a piece of technology you'd like to own? I have what I want at the moment. 

Are you afraid of technology developing to where we're too reliant on it? Oh, we’re waaaay past that point.

Does it bother you when people do things to fit in with a certain crowd? When they’re doing problematic things. 

Hot or cold? I’d much rather be cold. I like being wrapped up in a blanket, wearing hoodies/sweatshirts, and drinking hot coffee. Being hot is just miserable.  Do you think that Bzoink should extent the character amount for questions? I don’t use Bzoink.

Do you have a favorite combination of complimentary colors? A lot of colors look nice together.

Do you know why all the young people who have nice cars always look grumpy? I don’t think I’ve noticed that.

What's your favorite odd ice cream flavor? I don’t like any odd flavors. What’s with you and odd stuff?

Where do you like to get your ice cream? I’m not a big ice cream person, but the store is fine, ha. It was nice going somewhere like Cold Stone or something as well, though. I haven’t had ice cream in years, though.

What's your opinion on stereotypes/labels? Labels can be useful in some cases.

Do you ever use random word generators for Bzoinkoids?

Do you believe that history repeats itself? Absolutely. There’s proof of that.

Would you rather learn from your mistakes or just undo them? Ha, it’d be nice to be able to undo them.

What was the most interesting class you had in school? I always enjoyed English. And then of course I found a lot of my psych classes interesting. Do you write? If so, what? Nope.

Do you have a favorite website? Tumblr and YouTube.

Do you think that the quality of TV shows is going down? No, there’s so many good shows.

Do you have a favorite culture? Learning about different cultures is interesting. What was a story you heard as a child that really affected you? Hmm.

Who was your favorite grade-school teacher and why? Mr. McG, my 4th and then 8th grade teacher. He was everyone’s favorite. He made learning so much fun and really cared about his students.

Do you think that the world will end? How? Yes, how the Bible says it will.

Do you believe in Global Warming? Have you researched it? Yes.

Do you prefer piercings or tattoos? I only have my earlobes pierced and I have zero tattoos, soo I can’t say I’m big on either one.

Do you remember your dreams? Very, very rarely.

[chimeride]

Are all things here dragons? If not, what distinguishes those which are dragons from those which aren't?

Well, for SMAUGUST yes almost, and I will post the last one mid-september. But the Éphéméride is about all kind of chimeras ! For example MERMAY was full of mermaids and merfolks, not to mention the Goblin Week.

Trying to classify creatures is really hard, but what defines a dragon is mostly the intention of the artist ! 

If it’s not my creation, then I refer to the original intentions, especially when it’s about old /cultural content (e.g. gods, mythos ++). If I do not, and call something a dragon while it wasn’t explicitaly one at first (which is occasionnal and after chosing carefully !) I feel a bit uncomfortable but lucky me I had no complains yet.

I’m not a specialist but sometimes, apparently when pop culture created or appropriated a creature, the definition of dragon can more easily be expanded. @drachenwiki​ told me that some people accept Owlbears and Gryphons as dragons ! But be very careful, it’s easy to be clumsy here.

If I make a creature from scratch and I want to say it’s a dragon, then so it is !! I try to explore what rules underlies what is a dragon. Somedays I start with the intention to make one but I don’t believe myself in the result.. it still makes a fine creature. 

(I could have stop there but then I got carried away and found myself talking about my own definition of dragon and how to make one.)

There is no real recipe, but I think it needs to have some ingredients that can be found in other known dragons to be credible : 

Global morphology : I made a chart recently with some of the most common morphotypes, and it helped me this year to diversify my designs. For example Kirins are a bit special for me because as an Occidental I’m not very used to them.

You can add some spice : extra heads (Hydras), extra limbs, long neck, tail(s), more wings.. 

Backstory, even if it’s not the point for me because I rarely invest myself in, is important too ! If it a winged worm-doggo breath fire and keep treasures then for me that’s a dragon without a doubt.  

Details : well known dragons are mostly snakes or chimeras made of deadly animals so I incorporate some of them in my designs :

Reptiles obviously !! All of them, and every parts ! Turtles ! Scales ! Fangs ! Tails ! Claws !! It’s most of the time the main ingredient. Bonus if you try to make a dinosaur-like creature, it’s always a valid dragon too.

Bat wings, you can’t go wrong with them.

Mammalian horns of every type. I try to find some substitute : mandibles of insects, bird legs, snail horns..

Birds : they are surprisingly easy to incorporate ! Claws, beaks and crests are great, but even feathers can be found in well known dragons as the Cockatrix.

Fishes : dorsal fins and barbs are often seen, giant pectoral fins can be good for wings, and you can put fins everywhere. Their tails and eyes are great too, and their mouths full of teeth are perfect for dragons. They shouldn’t be restricted to sea serpents !

Insects : mostly the wings, to make some fae dragons.

Amphibians : maybe because of salamanders, they are a good base. I can’t tell why but I love frog dragons.

Worms : because they are an alternative for snakes.

Mammals : every kind of ears, horse’s faces, lions, dogs, bears, pangolins, hooves for Kirins..

Whatever you want, really ! I have some funky examples in mind but this post is getting too long..!

This my point of view for now but obviously it’s not perfect. I might even change my mind with time as I experiment new things or get inspired by others work. But I hope I made my definition of dragons clearer, and maybe give ideas to other people to cook some cool creatures !

PS : go check Kristina Galajda’s work, she is a true dragon master and inspired me a lot recently !

[baseballbitch116]

The Mortal

Sooo this is a year old request that I am re-posting because for some reason it seems to have been deleted from tumblr...

Warnings: none

Masterlist 

Prompt List |  Submit A Request

“Where is he?” Thor’s voice booms through the room. “Who?” Nat sits up, concerned look on her face. She always seems prepared for a fight of some sort, must always be anxious. “Loki. I have not seen him around today.” Thor responds, looking to his companions for an answer. She rolls her eyes, wondering what the god of mischief has done now. “Oh, just look for Y/N. Reindeer Games is never far behind.” Tony says with a smirk. Thor makes a confused face as he thanks him quietly and goes off in search of you. He hadn’t realized you guys were friends. And in fact, Thor found you reading in one of the smaller, more secluded rooms of the Tower, with Loki across from you, reading his own book. Before Thor enters the room, he observes the scene. You are reading peacefully, but Loki simply has a book in his hands, which he keeps glancing up from to admire you. Thor wonders if it could be. Could Loki actually care for you? Thor clears his throat and enters the room slowly. You look up from your book and smile politely at him.

“Lady Y/N.” He greets, nodding at you with a light smile. He has always been fond of you. You are polite and sweet and not like most of the team. You relate more to Wanda than the others; you’ll fiercely protect your friends and what you believe in, but you don’t like to fight. “Hello Thor.” You respond. Loki looks up at his brother, glaring. “Loki, I need to speak with you.” He says firmly, exiting the room to wait. Loki follows after his brother irritably. “What? Must you always ruin any good mood I am in?” He seethes quietly, not wanting you to hear him. “What are you up to?” Thor whisper yells. Loki rolls his eyes. “What do you speak of?” He asks, crossing his arms. This oaf never fails to get on his nerves. “Why does Stark speak that you are following Y/N?” He demands. Loki’s face remains calm. “I do not such thing.” He says. “Is this another one of your tricks? Do not bring her into your games.” He tells Loki, who sighs. “I am not up to something, brother. I do not know what you are talking about.” “Then why are you constantly around her? You cannot possibly care for her, so why?” Thor says, glancing behind Loki to make sure you aren’t listening. “I cannot? Because I am a monster? Incapable of emotion?” Loki seethes, his his voice raising a little. “No. Because you do not care for mortals.” Thor says calmly. He does hope that Loki cares for you, it will show he still has good in him. “It does not matter. I am not up to anything, nor do I care for a mortal.” He responds matter-of-factly. He can’t help but turn around and look at you as he says this. A sad look appears on his face for just a second, Thor almost didn’t notice. He sees the way Loki is looking at you, before he turns around and scoffs. “That would be ignorant. She could never care for a monster like me… And she is beneath me, anyway.” He adds the last part after a short pause, as if he had to add it. Thor isn’t buying it. “I know you will not admit it to me, but perhaps to yourself, brother. It is alright to care for her. If you truly were a monster, you wouldn’t be able to care for anyone.” Thor says, patting him on the back. “Go rejoin her, surely she misses your company.” He tells him, before walking away. Loki turns back to look at you. He would not admit it to Thor, but he does care for you. He knows it, no matter how much he denies it, even to himself, it is true. You smile and laugh quietly at something from the book you are reading and his heart skips a beat. He adores your laugh. He takes a deep breath before heading back into the room to enjoy your presence.

---

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[nikatyler]

So, tumblrpocalypse, huh? I’m ready. I mean, I think I am ready. I have exported my blog just in case, I’m joining the protest tomorrow...guys, we are going to survive this. We can do it.

In other news, I’ve finally started playing gen 3 of NSB and it’s been great so far. Also, I’m proud of Ross. I’m not gonna say anything else but like...buddy, you have impressed me. Lol anyway, I feel like I’m always complaining about homework these days and yeah, there’s still a lot of it, but I have one last week left and then there’s Christmas break. Let me have this naive moment of thinking we won’t have any homework over Christmas. I already know we will. *sigh* Senior year. I’m losing my mind. There’s so much to do. It feels like we were doing nothing the three previous years and now the teachers have gone crazy. But oh well, I’ll survive that as well, just like the tumblrpocalypse.

So yeah. See you guys on Tuesday. In case you miss me (which I don’t think you will but oh well), you can always find me on twitter.

dandylion240 replied to your photoset “~ the best days of my life”

They look so sweet together

I knoooow ;_; When it comes to ranking how good my ships look together, these two are probably one of my favourites. Then again they’re probably one of my favourites in general, I like how their relationship developed and how Caleb actually made Ross a better person (even though he doesn’t feel like he did anything special but Ross is aware of the change and he’s grateful for him).

simmering-pancakes replied to your photoset “This dog scares me. He looks so innocent but he’s actually worshipping...”

As one does!

Yup. My Sunday afternoons are like this. Allll the time.

simlovinggirl replied to your photoset “December would be so proud of her.”

LOL xD I'm happy to see they have a better relationship now ♥

Me too ;_;

simside replied to your photoset “You’re gonna freeze to death. Just saying.”

I love them so much.

Saaaaame. And to think it took me ages to realize that they’re “shipping material” lol

tiny-tany-thaanos replied to your photoset “This dog scares me. He looks so innocent but he’s actually worshipping...”

I luv doggos who summon Satan

I actually love all doggos

Mood but me too

alfalfalegacy replied to your photoset “P**nbots? On my innocent spaceblr?”

truly a big mood

Wonder if she’ll have to deal with them after 17th December...is the ban effective or not? 🤔 We shall see! tbh I don’t think it’ll work the way they intended because this is tumblr  ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

jackssims replied to your photoset “Caleb: Oh my g– they’re dead. They were old and they…died.”

Darling dying in front of Caleb rn is WILD bc in my NSB, MC Command Center married him and Darling. They had three kids before Darling died (I guess MC didn't let Darling become a vampire?), and then he immediately married someone else. Quite the contrast to your NSB Caleb and his story arc

I think I literally went “hkjhflgkafjlkj” when I read this. I made such a weird excited noise because god I live for dumb little things like this

jackssims replied to your photoset “Vlad the fashion legend is back.”

An icon

The one and only

pixelhart replied to your photoset “Wrong direction, sweetie.”

10/10 amazing

She’s talented

gamingtweety replied to your photoset “Father Winter: “I’ll forgive you this one time. But don’t forget, real...”

Caleb at the background like "yeyy she got the gift!!" ����

He’s the supportive stepdad Sunset has always deserved

glammoose replied to your post “94”

I took my list way too seriously too, I'm not sure they actually order it by plays? I also have last.fm to track it

I think so too. I might also be getting confused because I listen to a lot of music offline when I can’t use the internet. There are some songs I listen to every day on my way to school and they’re not on the playlist because I clearly don’t listen to them as often when I’m at home.

create-a-sim replied to your post “94”

Bon Jovi <3

Y E S

not gonna lie we lowkey stan? (Ew I hate myself for writing this sentence. The meaning of it is true I guess but the way I decided to say it is...yikes I do hate myself for sure) But yeah. Also it was an accident. I was fine knowing just the most popular songs and then somehow whoops nevermind kinda obsessed

“somehow whoops nevermind kinda obsessed” sums up my entire life tbh

alfalfalegacy replied to your photoset “Sunset: *tells one joke and gets hysterical*”

oh this is a mood

A very relatable one

alfalfalegacy replied to your photoset “Sunset: “Hey Father Winter, I’ve been a good kid, right?” Father...”

Can't get over how pretty Val looks in this picture *.*

She’s gorgeous *-*

elisabettasims replied to your photoset

He is too pure for this world.

Yeah. Also, too pure to be a vampire, but I’m kinda glad he’s one because I don’t have to worry about him dying lol

simtress replied to your photoset “Holiday Cottage I just wanted to build something Christmas-y. I’m not...”

So nice!

Thank you ♥

kymmaisims replied to your photoset “1200 Followers Gift: Gen 5 Pose Dump And the award for the worst...”

Thank you for always making so many great story telling poses! I appreciate you so much.

I don’t deserve such kind words, thank you so much ;_;

[yoi-fanficrecs]

Fanfic Writer’s Appreciation Day 2018!!!

I’m so thankful for all the fanfic writers in out there and especially the writer in the Yuri! on Ice Fandom. Here’s a list of some of the fics I’ve read this week & some of my favs all mixed together! (THIS IS BY NO MEANS A COMPREHENSIVE LIST OF ALL THE FICS I THINK ROCK) 

Don’t forget if you’re a fic reader to go and leave an extra comment on your fav stories or drop an ask in the author’s tumblr about how much you appreciate the work that they do! Some of the authors in the fandom are FANTASTIC and I can’t believe that they aren’t paid, professional writers!

Much Ado About Something by @eternalsunshine13 &  Skowronek 

AO3 Summary: By day, Victor Nikiforov is the head of European operations for LearX, a company on the forefront of private space travel. By night, he is makka-baby on Tumblr, a prominent figure in the small but passionate poodle fandom.

By day, Yuuri Katsuki runs F.O.O.L., a subsidiary of Katsuki Enterprises, whose stated goal is to bring LearX down one lawsuit after another. By night, he’s oodlesofpoodles, an active member of the poodle fandom and possibly makka-baby’s biggest fan.

By day, they duke it out in court. By night, they become friends—and maybe something more—as they fall for each other one Tumblr message at a time.

Or: a romantic comedy starring two idiots in love, the Katsuki family, the mothers Nikiforov, the husbands Chulanont-Giacometti, two doggos, six hamsters, one Yurio, and many, many schemes to get our favorite lovebirds together.

I devoured this in one sitting. They were so frustratingly adorable!!!! This fic is a great enemies to lovers filled with poodles, matchmaking Chris & Phichit, and a futuristic Tumblr app that is still the worst. :P 

In Regards to Dynamics by ICanSeeClearlyNow, Oxytreza 

AO3 Summary: In a world where betas ruled, alphas and omegas were treated as less than human. After centuries of prejudice, they rebelled, commandeered a colony ship and left Earth for the Proxima Centauri system, vowing to create a new world where all people, regardless of gender, would be treated equally.

200 years later, a reformed Earth approaches Proxima asking to reestablish contact and to reconcile their worlds. Victor Nikiforov, a popular and successful politician on Proxima, is chosen to lead the mission to Earth and accompany a team from Earth back to Proxima for a scientific exchange.

The team from Earth consists of ordinary people descended from omegas and alphas who chose to remain on Earth. Yuuri Katsuki, a researcher into transporter technology and completely ordinary and unremarkable Earthling (a PhD and excellent service record don't count - shush Phichit!) is both thrilled and terrified at the prospect of meeting the handsome ambassador who has taken the Earth by storm.

I’m a sucker for ABO fics. The history and world-building in this fic fascinated me and gave our boys some interesting backstories. 

Cherry Blossom Winter by Ars_Matron

AO3 Summary: The war was over, and they had lost. The invading army covered Japan in a show of complete dominance. All bowed before them in hopes of being spared. And Hasetsu was no exception.They couldn't fight, there were no more battles to win, yet they were bound and determined to keep their omegas safe. All Yuuri and the others had to do was keep low until the soldiers were gone. Blend in. Never be caught alone.Yuuri hadn't meant to catch the attention of the blue eyed alpha.Viktor wasn't going to let him slip away.

ABO FICS FOR THE WIN!!!! This fic is an ABO version of another one of Ars_Matron’s stories Snow in Spring - so if you like the summary but not the A/B/O aspect hit that story up! I think the A/B/O aspect really raises the stakes for this story. Just from reading the summary you think it’s going to be a Dark Viktor, but Ars writes his POV as well so we get his thought process too! This is a great conquering Alpha! Viktor and dancer Omega! Yuuri that you’ve got to stop and read it! 

Hide and Seek by senshoo

AO3 Summary: Thankfully, the walk only took a few moments and soon, Yuuri was juggling both the child and the key while he shouldered his way into the apartment, set the kid down on his secondhand couch, and then sighed, sinking to the floor.

One deep breath.

Maybe two.

And then, it hit him.Holy shit.Did he just kidnap a child?--

Or: The one where Yuuri accidentally becomes a father at twenty three. Oh, and there's still skating.

EKKKKKK!!!!! I love baby Yurio and this fic warms my cold dead heart! Not to mention this fic is HILARIOUS! I’ve literally laughed out loud reading multiple chapters from this fic much to my embarrassment during professional development workshops. It’s just a cute pinning fic with a cute little Yurio and a dash of angst but mostly humor. <3 <3 <3 

Plus: the writer is a consistent updater! 

Can I have some of that, Please? by TheLittleSeven  

AO3 Summary: If there's anything he learned during his mate's pregnancy, it was to never, EVER question a craving of a pregnant person. Ever. Unless he wanted to deal with a crying fit that resulted from him asking the omega why he wanted mango ice cream with siracha and peas topped on it. Pregnant people usually have weird cravings during their pregnancy. Yuuri Katsuki-Nikiforov is no exception.

I stumbled upon this little one shot over the summer and absolutely love it! The writer says this is their first fic and it’s so cute! You’ve probably read the story somewhere on the internet and it fits our sweet boys so much! 

Dearly beloved by Sophia96

AO3 Summary:  This is the story about unconditional love between true mates. When they are destined to be together, there will be nothing standing in their way. Not even language barriers or great distances. As long as they have each other, they will never need anything else.

I couldn’t make a fanfic writer’s appreciation post without including my main writing KWEEN @sophialala1 !!! All of their fics are amazing! Long, fluffy, plot twists, little angsty Viktuuir goodness! Also, they are a dedicated writer and right now going on over a week of daily updates! I’m so thankful they are writing for this fandom and cannot express my gratitude enough! 

Between Sixes  by D_Toska

AO3 Summary:  When Yuri Katsuki is hired as a caretaker for an elite competitive stable owned by Viktor Nikiforov, he knows he's in for trouble with his stunningly handsome new boss. When he makes a major mistake on his first day, he learns just how far Viktor is willing to go to ease his guilty conscience.

HOT HOT HOT!!!! This story is spicy, flaming, sexy, and OMG! I’m pretty sure I have a perpetual nosebleed the ENTIRE chapter. There’s also a lot about horses, which is very lengthy and detailed so I’m sure the writer knows what they’re talking about, lol (bc I know nothing about horses). But I love the chemistry between the dom Vitkor & sub Yuuri and i am on this rollercoaster for good. 

Learning Life & Love (Work) by BellaBear13

AO3 Summary: Yuuri Katsuki gets admitted to the hospital for his anxiety and Viktor Nikiforov becomes his therapist. They fall for each other and develop a prohibited relationship, while dealing with problems and situations along the way. Yuuri befriends another patient, Yuri Plisetsky, where they find friendship in one another and open up about difficulties they have with their mental health and relationships.Together they all learn the meaning of life and love.

I was hesitant to start this fic only because I thought the power balance between Viktor & Yuuri would be skewed bc of the therapist/patient bit. I WAS SO WRONG!!! This fic is beautiful and heart-wrenchingly angsty and you know, a little pinning. The writer takes so good pace with their budding relationship && how they approach Yuuris (&&Viktors) mental illness. I really love this story and it updates consistently on Wednesday. Take a chance, and read this fic! 

Seven Years and Twenty-Four Hours (Work) by Glaucus_Atlanticus

AO3 Summary: A time-traveling shower transports 18 year old Yuuri into the body of his future self—and into the arms of his idol, Victor Nikiforov. Now Yuuri must pretend to be his older self until he can return to his own era. Which would be a lot easier if Victor weren't so attentive. Or so affectionate.But as time goes on, Yuuri finds himself torn between his old life, and a new one that would hand him everything he ever wanted...but at the cost of his real identity.

COMPLETED! So beautiful. The younger time-traveling Yuuri is so heartbreakingly anxious and Victor is just a sad sac without his time-appropriate Yuuri. This is an angsty fic, but such a great read.

P.S Sorry this turned into an A/B/O fic appreciation post, lol. (but not sorry)

[bibisoy]

Truth.

Trying to grasp the sad reality. I've been thinking a lot lately because I'm back in Palawan and my mind have never been this clear. This is gonna be such a long post so please bear with me.

Way back last year during my board exam review, I met this great guy online, Nate. To be honest, he's my ideal guy. Tall, dark and handsome. Same wavelength, CE guy and a nerd just like me. We tagged each other to memes, cat related posts, dog related posts. He's a doggo type and i am more of a cat. We didn't actually met personally not until i decided to work in Manila just to be close to him. We first met at a gig in Luneta, after that we drink in Central taft. Long story short, we were stuck and ended up one-sided. We've been constantly communicating. I tried telling him that I like him, of course, with the help of alcohol. That's the old me, I don't really confess so we were stuck. Then fast forward, one time i invited him to movie date or catch up. Then that's the time he told me he has a boyfriend. It broke me. Like literally holding your tears in front of him. This was one of the worst days of my life. I cried on the way home. We met in Trinoma and i cried the whole trip to Mandaluyong. It's just sad that he told me that he'll be there for me but now he's ghosted me.

Then Jx came. I met him here on tumblr. We first talk to each other after i posted a conversation of me and my nephew talking about Avengers. Turns out he's a geek to. Then we've been constantly talking to each other. Starting to be attached to him. He's the guy who replies fast. I mean really fast. He's been supporting me through my rough time with work. He helped me too with my depression. Of course I fall real hard. He introduced Vox to me which I'm thankful for. I've been vocal to him too. It made me realize not telling what you feel will not help you grow. He's an apath. I understand that it's okay if he'll not like me back. I told him that. I really fall for this guy real hard that one time, I traveled all the way to his province just to see him. Not gonna give more details to what happened but to make this short, i guess he's lost interest on talking to me. I tried looking at our conversation then realized how desperate I've been. I've noticed the little hahas was gone. Just plain text. I guess he's ghosted me too? Or i dunno. I just hope we stay friends.

Lastly, after all. Jx made me realize to be open to other people so I did. I met Kl here on tumblr too. He's a personal friend with one of my first tumblr friend. We met during TSAMU. We never really talk until recently where we both send notes to each other. Then I decided to go for it. Now I'm trying to help him with his acads. I've been such a good friend. Hahaha I told my friend that I like Kl. Then that's it. I step up and told him that i like him. He was clear that he's sorry that he can't give it back. That's fine with me. So, yeah. I'm still trying to help him as much as possible because he's a CE guy too. I guess it'll end like others too. Being ghosted. Or i dunno. It's sad that after failing everytime, i still want to be friends with them.

Bottom line, after all the failed attempts, it will make you realize, is something wrong with me? You can't make people like or love you. You don't deserve the love. Garry, my friend for almost 18 years now, told me when i tried to open up with him that maybe it's one of the factors that made me depressed. You just fall into that hell hole thinking you're not good enough. That's when it hits me. Maybe there is something wrong with me. I dunno. I accepted the thought of being "not good enough". So yeah. Few days ago, another friend, Quela, a college friend said the same thing. "Di mo ba naiisip na baka sayo yung mali?". Maybe? I guess so but then i told her the side of my story. She clearly fast enough to tell me "Wala akong masabi. Wala akong makitang mali. Si bisoy yung taong pag naging boyfriend mo, ang swerte swerte mo." It made me smile.

I guess it's time to choose myself first. I always put others as my priority. Maybe it's time to be out in the social media and enjoy life. For now, i will focus on myself. Finding the true happiness my friends are always talking about. The thing is I always rush things that it didn't go well in the end.

So ciao my friends. This might be my last post and gather all my shits together. To all my closest friends, you still can tap me in messenger. And and i might still post pictures because IG's connected here in tumblr too. It's not that i will delete my blog. I just need me-time to find the inner happiness and self love.

Ciao.

[katzuyas]

I’ve been tagged in so many things over the past couple of weeks that I honestly don’t even have much more bookmark space left in my browser RIP so I finally decided to do all of it at once, hence the title and the rest of this longass post under the cut

bc there’s a lot of the tag games down there and tagging a million people would be annoying, I’m gonna tag 10 of you to grab a dice and roll it to figure out which meme you’re tagged for ^u^)b if you roll the same number twice, count that meme as the start from which to count and roll again! I hope you like this idea, but it’s only a suggestion so feel free to do whatever you want tbh?

@sweet-vitya, @gabzjones, @and-then-yoi-happened, @etherealalchemist, @joeys-piano, @quadruplyyours, @yuliaplisetskaya, @dreaming-fireflies, @teekettle, @iwritebetterthanispeak, @chessala

enjoy, if you want! 💕💕

tagged by @endlesscloudsoftime, thank you for the tag!!

rules: answer 20 questions, then tag 20 bloggers that you want to get to know better.

1. Name: kat

2. Nicknames: same tbh

3. Height: 170cm

4. Orientation: who knows who cares (it’s pan)

5. Nationality: polish

6. Favorite fruit: mango, cherries, I love watermelon too but the seeds piss me off too much to fully enjoy it

7. Favorite season: anything that doesn’t make me sweat off my skin but isn’t also freezing my toes is more than fine with me ^u^)b

8. Favorite plant: I don’t think I have any favs here

9. Favorite scent: I have this yankee candle ‘sweet candies’ and I can just DIE wrapped in that scent holy sheet (when it comes to perfume tho I’m a sucker for the original chloe, but I also love calvin klein’s euphoria bc it’s just Fresh)

10. Favorite color: any pastel really

11. Favorite animal: MY SWEET PUPPER HINA (so yes, dogs)

12. Coffee, tea, or hot chocolate: coffee sometimes, TEA AND GREEN TEA AND VANILLA CHAI!!!!!!, hot chocolate is a nope

13. Average sleep hours: I always try for 8h bc otherwise I’m a zombie, but it doesn’t always work out so... I’m a part-time zombie anyway lmao

14. Dog or cat person: ISN’T THE PIC PROOF ENOUGH THAT I LOVE MY FURRY DOGGO SON

15. Favorite fictional character: victor nikiforov. that’s it. that’s all. we can all go home now

16. Number of blankets you sleep with: 1 + a duvet bc I like being cosy

17. Dream trip: japan, always. but another one would be a trip to the harry potter universal store or the noble collection store I guess

18. Blog created: who even remembers this pffff (somewhen in august 2011 I think)

19. Number of followers: I’m just gonna say it’s a four number figure ;3c

20. Random fact: I’m currently rewatching lord of the rings and procrastinating writing so YES I’M A NERD AND A BAD PERSON AHAHA //sweats

tagged by @story-kat -- thanks love, I actually really like these so it was great fun to do 💕

Rules: using only song titles from one artist/band, cleverly answer the questions and then tag people

artist/band: one ok rock

what is your gender: stuck in the middle

how do you feel: jaded

if you could go anywhere: start again

favorite mode of transportation: mighty long fall

your best friend: wherever you are

favorite time of day: taking off

if your life was a tv show: liar

relationship status: hard to love

your fear: bombs away

tagged by @endlesscloudsoftime, thanks again!! ahaha I feel like I’ll be saying this a lot today, but you spoil me /)u(\

Rules: tag 9 people you want to know better or just because you feel like it.

Relationship status: taken ;3c

Favorite color: any pastels, really

Last song I listened to: still the lord of the rings ost

Last movie I watched: lord of the rings lol two towers ^u^)b

Top 3 tv shows: game of thrones (bc I love my fantasy shit), rein (bc I love my history shit), and american housewife (bc I love laughing and this show is Hilarious with the capital H)

Top 3 characters: victor nikiforov bc I adore him, hinata shouyou bc he’s my sunshine son and I gotta mention miyuki kazuya bc his smirks still keep me awake at night 😍😍😍

What I’m currently reading: honestly? my own writes bc I have no time for anything other than editing orz

tagged by @themayflynans and @endlesscloudsoftime, thank you both!! 💕

A - Age: 26

B - Birthplace: poland

C - Current time: 11:50am

D - Drink you last had: just some coke

E - Easiest person to talk to: nowadays it’s gotta be @saniika and @and-then-yoi-happened bc I know I can be as salty and upset as I feel when I talk to them and that it’s alright to just let it all out which is something I wish for everyone to have 💕

F - Favourite song: don’t have one tbh

G - Grossest memory: back in elementary school my class was in warsaw to see the big zoo there and one of the chimpanzees just projectile shat all over our teacher and it was simultaneously the most awesome and the fucking WORST bc she smelled like shit the whole trip back home ugh

H - Horror yes or horror no: depends on what kind of horror but generally? meh

I - In love?: no idea tbh but definitely comfortable in my relationship

J - Jealous of people?: you’ve no idea. jelly and bitter.

L - Love at first sight or should i walk by again?: walk by and actually tell me you’re interested bc I’m a blind pan who is easily confused

M - Middle name: magdalena ;3c

N - Number of siblings: 0

O - One wish: Been keeping Salty’s answers here - yes, to learn to love myself.

P - Person you called last: my mom lol she’s the only one I call, really

Q - Question you are always asked: "so when will you start looking for a job?”

R - Reason to smile: VICTUURI!!!!!!!!!!!!!

S - Song you sang last: oh man I don’t even remember, I don’t really sing out loud

T - Time you woke up: these days? 6:30am

U - Underwear colour: sea green-blue, turquoise?

V - Vacation destination: I’m going to japan next year to see ice adolescence even if it kills me

W - Worst habit: biting the inside of my cheeks bloody

X - X-rays: my hand when I had a small accident playing badminton, my jaw for my braces

Y - Your favourite food: PIZZA HELLO

Z - Zodiac sign: gemini ;3c

tagged by @theexitgarden and @endlesscloudsoftime, bless you both and thank you for thinking of the old me 💕 

1st RULE: Tag 9 people you want to get to know better:

we’ll be skipping this one bc of reasons //sweats

2nd RULE: BOLD the statements that are true.

APPEARANCE: - I am 5'7 or taller - I wear glasses - I have at least one tattoo -I have at least one piercing - I have blonde hair - I have brown eyes - I have short hair - My abs are at least somewhat defined - I have or had braces

PERSONALITY: - I love meeting new people - People tell me I am funny - Helping others with their problems is a big priority of mine - I enjoy physical challenges - I enjoy mental challenges - I am playfully rude to people I know - I started saying something ironically and now I can’t stop saying it - There is something I would change about my personality

ABILITY: - I can sing well - I can play an instrument - I can do over 30 pushups without stopping - I am a fast runner - I can draw well - I have a good memory- I am good at doing math in my head - I can hold my breath underwater for over a minute - I have beaten at least 2 people arm wrestling - I can make at least 3 recipes from scratch - I know how to throw a proper punch

HOBBIES: - I enjoy sports - I’m on a sports team at my school or somewhere else - I’m in a orchestra or choir at my school or somewhere else - I have learned a new song in the past week - I exercise at least once a week - I have gone for runs at least once a week in warmer months - I have drawn something in the past month - I enjoy writing - Fandoms are my #1 priority- I do some form of Martial arts

EXPERIENCES: - I have had my first kiss - I have had alcohol - I have scored a winning point in a sport - I have watched an entire TV series in one sitting - I have been at an overnight event - I have been in a taxi - I have been in the hospital or ER in the past year - I have beaten a video game in one day - I have visited another country - I have been to one of my favorite bands concert

MY LIFE: - I have one person that I consider to be my Best Friend - I live close to my school/work - My parents are still together - I have at least one sibling- I live in the United States - There is snow where I live right now - I have hung out with a friend in the past month - I have a smartphone - I own at least 15 CDs - I share my room with someone

RELATIONSHIPS: - I am in a relationship - I have a crush on a celebrity - I have a crush on someone I know - I’ve been in at least 3 relationships - I have never been in a relationship - I have admitted my feelings to a crush - I get crushes easily - I have had a crush for over a year - I have been in a relationship for over a year - I have had feelings for a friend

RANDOM: - I have break-danced - I know a person named Jamie - I have had a teacher that has a name that is hard to pronounce - I have dyed my hair - I’m listening to a song on repeat right now - I have punched someone in the past week - I know someone who has gone to jail - I have broken a bone - I have eaten a waffle today - I know what I want to do in life - I speak at least two languages - I have made a new friend in the past year

tagged by @story-kat and @endlesscloudsoftime (astea m’dude ur tagging me in everything and I love you for it)

WHAT’S YOUR FAVORITE SONG(S) TO SING?

I will most often hum or mouth lyrics when I’m writing and my brain gets distracted so it usually is some sort of acoustic cover of a rather popular song, like despacito? lol WHAT’S YOUR FAVOURITE FLOWER/TREE/PLANT?

I don’t have one tbh FAVOURITE COLOURS?

anything pastel!! WHAT DO YOU ALWAYS DOODLE?

I don’t anymore but it used to be some random squigglies??

HOW DO YOU TAKE YOUR COFFEE/TEA?

2.5 teaspoon of sugar into both + 1/4 milk/cream into the coffee and 1/4 cold water into the tea FAVOURITE CANDLE SCENT?

SWEET CANDIES FROM YANKEE CANDLE. BURY ME IN THIS. SUNRISE OR SUNSET?

sunrise bc I don’t even see sunsets anymore (I’m asleep then lol) WHAT PERFUME DO YOU WEAR?

the original chloe is what I like most but I would die for dior’s j’adore, it’s so nice 😍😍😍 in the summer I’m wearing masaki’s fluo tho bc it’s sweet and summery

WHAT’S YOUR GO-TO DANCE MOVE WHEN YOU’RE ALONE?

butt wiggling? maybe? idk man I never really thought about it? lol FAVOURITE QUOTE?

“Because people don’t have wings, we look for other ways to fly.” -- somehow this one always sticks with me bc it’s so beautiful and vivid that you’d never say it’s from a japanese cartoon lmao

FAVOURITE SELF CARE ROUTINE(S)?

sleeping, kicking back and watching some dumb movie that won’t make me think of anything but how dumb it is

FUZZY SOCKS OR HOUSE SLIPPERS?

both? I like fuzzy socks in winter but in summer I go barefoot but sometimes u gotta have something between your skin and the floor so = slippers WHAT COLOUR ARE YOUR EYES?

brown

WHAT’S YOUR FAVOURITE EYE COLOUR ON OTHERS?

I don’t honestly care but blue eyes when they’re very light creep me out somehow FAVOURITE SEASON? WHY?

don’t have one but as long as it’s not too hot or too cold I’m good NECK, CHEEK, OR NOSE KISSES?

depends on what you want to achieve? neck kisses will have me melting, cheek kisses smile and nose kisses giggle and possibly blush so YEA THERE’S THAT

WHAT DOES YOUR HAPPY PLACE LOOK LIKE?

it’s my room. that’s it. this is my happy place

FAVOURITE BREED OF DOG?

ANY DOGGO IS A GOOD DOGGO AS LONG AS IT’S NOT THOSE SMOL ONES WHO BITE UR ANKLES FOR NO REASON DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE MARRIED?

idk, I mean yes I’d like to be married one day but I’m not really in any hurry to get there? CURSIVE OR PRINT?

I don’t honestly care

FAVOURITE WEATHER?

cloudy but not too cold

tagged by @story-kat, thanks for the tag babe!!

Rules: bold what you prefer and tag 10 people.

coffee or tea

early bird or night owl

chocolate or vanilla

spring or fall

silver or gold (BOTH! BOTH IS GOOD)

pop or alternative

freckles or dimples

snakes or sharks

mountains or fields

thunderstorm or lightning

Egyptian or Greek mythology

ivory or scarlet

flute or lyre

eyes or lips

witch or fairy

opal or diamond

butterflies or honeybees

macaroons or eclairs

typewritten or handwritten letters

secret garden or secret library

rooftop or balcony

spicy or mild

opera or ballet

London or Paris

Vincent van Gogh or Claude Monet

denim or leather

potions or spells

ocean or desert

mermaid or siren

masquerade ball or cocktail party

tagged by @endlesscloudsoftime, thanks for this omg I actually wanted to do this one!! 💕💕

THE AO3 TAG GAME:

WHAT IS YOUR TOTAL WORD COUNT ON AO3?

869 938! holy sheet I’m so close to 1mil???? wowowow o.O

HOW OFTEN DO YOU WRITE?

I try to write every day, but these days (with renovations going on and my sleeping schedule all fucked up) it’s really hard to find the time and focus to do it orz

DO YOU HAVE A ROUTINE FOR WRITING?

I actually do! or I did when I was still regularly writing lol it was something like this: cracking open an energy drink, lighting up my fav scented candle, booting up itunes and my writing playlist and generally just spending 5-6h just writing 💕  

WHAT ARE YOUR FAVORITE KINKS/TROPES/PAIRING?

kinks: pet play, public or semi-public play, voyeurism, doggy style, also actually BOTTOM VITYA,      

tropes: reverse au, time travel, famous aus,

pairing: victuuri. no seconds. we die like man and only stan one (1) gay ship

DO YOU HAVE A FAVORITE FIC OF YOURS?

I don’t necessarily have an absolute fav but a fic that I still remember fondly and am beyond sad that got little to no attention is: if there’s a will, there’s a way bc I worked my ass off for it and I love every bit of it so? give it a read if you want to?

YOUR FIC WITH THE MOST KUDOS?

dazzle me with gold which will be getting an update this weekend ;3c

ANYTHING YOU DON’T LIKE ABOUT YOUR WRITING?

recently? everything. I’m just broken and idk how to fix it bc I can’t even find a good moment to try so ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

NOW SOMETHING YOU DO LIKE (ABOUT YOUR WRITING)?

how sweet and soft everything is when I’m in a good mood bc victuuri deserves this kind of love and I’m so happy writing it for them 🙏🙏🙏

tagged by @amaanogawa, thanks so much ems!!!

1) How many works in progress to do you currently have in progress?

one actual wip and like... 5 more that just sit and wait their turn? //sweats

2) Do you/would you write fan fiction?

rip that’s all I write too... tbh I used to write original fiction before but I find myself much less constricted by fanfic? I can explore the characters here more than I can in original fiction where worldbuilding takes most effort

3) Do you prefer paper books or ebooks?

oh definitely paper! if I could I’d buy printed out fanfic too!

4) When did you start writing?

I was about 12 I think? it all started with harry potter, like everything else has, and I regret not a second of it!

5) Do you have someone you trust that you share your work with?

sometimes when i get very excited about what i’m writing i’ll tell my fandom friends about the specific AU that i’m writing about but in terms of reading the full length fic, i don’t have anyone that i let read before anyone else. it’ll be on ao3 for everyone at the same time.

6) Where is your favourite place to write?

my desk, my pc. I can write on my phone but I like to edit as I go and it’s hard to do on the phone.

7) Favourite childhood book?

do I even need to say it? harry potter

8) Writing for fun or writing for publication?

for fun, but with the aim of possible future publication maybe?

9) Pen and paper or computer?

always computer. i have only recently begun writing fics on my phone because i’ve been traveling a lot and i don’t always have my laptop on my person, but it’s still much more comfortable to sit down and type on a proper keyboard.

10) Have you ever taken any writing classes?

at my uni, yes. and it completely sucked bc they didn’t teach anything, just had us write random shit for 3 years so eh

11) What inspires you to write?

everything? like, any random thing or thought I’m instantly trying to weave into my writing, turn it into a prompt. every new experience is just a basis for me to write on.

but if you’re asking WHY I write: I don’t even know, I’ve never thought about it? it’s kind of like asking why I breathe ahaha I just do? it’s a part of me? idk man idk

tagged by @themayflynans, thanks for this love!!

7/7/7 tag

The rules are as follows: Go to page 7 of your WIP, go to the seventh line, share seven sentences, and tag 7 more writer-bloggers to continue the challenge.

oh wow ok this is a difficult one bc I don’t think I even have a wip 7 pages long //sweats let me see... aha, okay, I found one! from back in march when I asked people to send me over some numbers for one of those writing memes and @theexitgarden I believe (??) sent me the prompt “I don’t think anyone could be as lovely as you” for victuuri and I kind of got a blind!victor au from it?? wELP here’s the fragment of it:

His music is vibrant in a way that he couldn't play on his piano alone and the clap of the blades that he can hear from the speakers of his TV makes him only more certain – this boy, Yuuri Katsuki, is skating to the sound of Victor's soul as if it's his own.

He never notices the tears that well up in his eyes until they roll down his cheeks and Makkachin presses against his side, whimpering in concern. Victor runs a trembling hand through her soft fur and takes a deep breath. And then, he decides.

"Yasha," he says when his former coach, his father in all but blood picks up Victor’s call. "I want to do this."

And he does it.

tagged by @endlesscloudsoftime again, boy you spoil me ahaha

1. Which fictional character would be the most boring to meet in real life?

I have no idea tbh bc even the characters I don’t like wouldn’t be exactly boring, so??? I honestly don’t know

2. What problem or situation did TV / movies make you think would be common, but when you grew up you found out it wasn’t? (i’m lowkey taking a jab at hsm because thanks Disney for making me think high school would be awesome)

hooking up with people ALL THE TIME when you’re in your 20s bc wtf what a bold-faced lie omg

3. What would be on the gag reel of your life?

"how many times can kat click her tongue at random strangers who piss her off by breathing the same air?” and a manip of all the eyerolls I do bc let me tell you... THERE’S A LOT

4. What does “infinite” mean to you?

my love for victor nikiforov

5. If your life was a movie, what songs would be on the soundtrack?

definitely lots of acoustic vibes and harry potter tunes and I can bet your ass that I’d have the yeah yeah yeah ost from yoi bc it’s such a banger and I LOVE IT but also dramatic classical violin and piano bc they pull on my heart and I am weak

6. What item would be your top choice to make into a horcrux?

honestly? my phone probably. I don’t necessarily have other things close to me that I’d use with enough heart to be of any significance to me

7. Who would play you in a movie about your life?

??? no idea lol I’d love for it to be katherine mcnamara bc 1) we share names, 2) her red hair is gorgeous and I’m a redhead, 3) SHE is gorgeous and I’d love to be portrayed by someone that hot 😍😍😍

8. Most relatable scene from any book/movie/anime/etc.?

yuuri’s little gasp when he first saw victor skating bc HARD SAME MY SWEET SON HARD SAME

9. If you were shrunk down and somehow got stuck in a blender, how would you get out?

I’d jump from side to side of it to try and rock it a bit and see if I can flip it over and get out that way? idk man what is this question lol

10. Would you count manga as a piece of literature? Why or why not?

ofc I would? honestly, some manga have even better storylines than written fiction why WOULDN’T it be counted as a piece of literature

11. compliment yourself. (joey, you’re just to freaking good to at making up questions).

oh man... //sweats umm??? good job me on not breaking down yet bc the renovations keep being awful and you’re handling it well?? maybe lol

tagged by @theexitgarden, thanks love, once more!

RULES: Choose any three fandoms (in random order) and answer the questions, then tag 10 people you want to know better.

Three Fandoms:

Yuri!!! on Ice

Ace of Diamond

Haikyuu!!

The First Character You Loved:

victor. he’s voiced by suwajun, do I really need to say more?

miyuki!! gosh I do love my asshole sons snarky and mean

hinata bc he’s a ray of sunshine and I even named my doggo after him 💕

The Character You Never Expected To Love So Much:

I gotta copy you garden bc chris took me by surprise too! my love for him started from that little sad look he gave us in the kiss and cry and it blossomed beautifully over time ahhh

sanada omg?? he is literally baseball kuroo so I was not expecting it but I fully embraced it lmao

iwaizumi bc I’m not one to like the mothering types but he’s??? actually so kind and sweet under all that harsh Manly facade it’s so cute

The Character You Relate To The Most:

victor, I’d say, or so I like to think

honestly? miyuki. just look at my url lol

oikawa, probably...

The Character You’d Slap:

I wouldn’t actually, but yurio deserves a good kick on the butt

um??? kataoka? bc TF U MEAN U DON’T KNOW WHO THE ACE SHOULD BE WE KNEW IT FROM THE FIRST CHAPTER YOU DUMBASS

early tsukki bc he’s could use it tbqh

Three Favorite Characters (in order of preference):

victor, yuuri, chris

miyuki, eijun, mei

hinata, kuroo, oikawa

A Character You Liked At First, But Don’t Anymore:

no one like that in yoi tbh, my love is only growing

kataoka lol

umm???? idk

A Character You Didn’t Like At First But Do Now:

seung-gil, I’d say. he grew on me lol

raichi, I guess??

to say tsukki, I’d have to actually like him now but it’s more difficult than that bc I didn’t like him at first but now can tolerate him so?? does it count?

Three OTPs:

victuuri, phichimetti, and the third would be very problematic bc I honestly don’t ship anything else in yoi?

miyusawa, chrisawa, sanasawa

KUROHINA YOU DON’T UNDERSTAND, oihina, bokuhina

tagged by @sleep-furiously, thanks for the tag, love!!

post five facts about myself ❤

I have a sweet doggo who is the light of my life 💕

I write good shit sometimes

I believe I have good taste

I’m a snark machine when certain buttons are pressed

patience levels run at 0%

wow ok this was A LOT to go through and it took me like 3h to do this holy sheet but at least I had fun and now I have my firefox bookmark free so that’s awesome ahhh!! thanks so much again to everyone for the tags, you guys are amazing and I’m lucky to have you 💕💕💕💕

[losingitinjersey]

Getting To Know Me Masterpost

Thanks to @marines-sweat-hard, @eatprayandbehappy and @prodigalbrad for tagging me in these getting to know you posts!   I did one of them relatively recently so I’m going to omit that one below and link to it here.  The others can be found below!

Relationship Status: Happily married to an incredible partner!

Favorite color: Green and blue!  

Lipstick or chapstick: Lipstick!  Every time I wear chapstick my hair gets stuck to it.  That and lipgloss.  So evil. 

Three favorite foods: Lol you think I can choose?!  Anything with bread and cheese.  Gosh, how am I on keto.  SANDWICHES!  Fun fact, I worked at a Togos/Baskin Robbins for a year and gained soooo0o0o much weight but damn was it a delicious year.  Pizza!  Gosh this third one is taking too long to decide.  Let’s go with burritos!  

Last song I listened to: “First Day of My Life” by Bright Eyes

Last movie I watched: The Do-Over  :)  If we’re talking about in theatres it would be Star Wars: The Last Jedi (twice!  But that’s mainly because the first time I saw it I fell asleep, whoops.  But who can stay awake for a movie that starts at 10:40 p.m.!  Gosh I’m old.  Or maybe just narcoleptic?  

Top 3 shows: Of all time or just now?!  If we’re talking about all time it would obviously be 1) Buffy the Vampire Slayer  2) Freaks & Geeks and let’s go with 3) Pushing Daisies.  Currently I’d say 1) Grace & Frankie 2) Jane The Virgin  3) Magicians

Three favorite bands: Eve6!!!!  Zee Avi, Green Day

Books I’m currently reading: Nothing... I should start the new Stephen King book, Sleeping Beauties

10 Facts About Myself

1. When at all possible I prefer to eat with plastic utensils. Mandatory for spoons and especially if I have to season something.  I can’t taste past the metal.  I had braces for like 7 years and feel like they permanently effed up my taste buds.   

2. Ever since I can remember I’ve loved squirrels, I attribute it to Sword In The Stone and just how playful and fun they are to watch.  I even asked for a squirrel themed birthday party when I was a kid.  They only had Rocky & Bullwinkle themed decorations back then so my Dad ended up drawing a squirrel on my cake :)

3. It is my lifelong goal to read every single Stephen King book written.  I’m currently about 35% of the way through which doesn’t sound like a lot but sure is when you think about how prolific a writer he is and how long his books are.  Plus I keep rereading my favorites of his :)   

4. I used to have a very large fear of dogs.  When I was a kid we had a dog for about 6 months before we gave him away due to being mean to my sister and I.  Then I tried to befriend two dogs who were having a fight and ended up underneath them.  Follow that with having an exbf who had a very possessive and mean mastiff it took me a very long time to not cross the street when I saw even the cutest doggo coming down the street.  

5. I grew up as quite the musical theatre nerd.  Not in the way that I was in drama class (though I was in middle school) but I was obsessed with listening to soundtracks and watching musicals at home and on stage with my mom in SF.  Give me a good Les Mis, Rent, Music Man, Singing In The Rain, Bye Bye Birdie, Newsies song any day and I will belt out all the words.  

6. Ever since I can remember I’ve watched the Oscars with my mom.  When I went away to school she would come up to visit me so we could watch them together or we’d watch them at the same time and text each other through it.  Knowing actor/movie trivia has always been a thing of ours that I cherish.  

7. I’ve changed a great deal throughout the last several years.  From being in a relationship to a deadbeat from age 20-29 to finally learning my worth and value and taking the scary step to end that relationship really helped set me on the path to where I am today.  My self confidence has grown exponentially along with my zeal for life.  

8. For a short stint I was in charge of group travel at my job and led a group of 75 adults to China for a 9 day tour.  The second trip I led was to Greece and on that trip the cruiseline we were booked on went bankrupt and we had to rebook all the tickets and adjust the timeline.  I met the CEO of the tour company and he told me I was one of the most organized leaders he’d ever met.  Mind you, I was 24 at the time.  I still use this line in interviews today.  

9. I have an 84 words per minute typing certificate.  Growing up my mom made me do Mavis Beacon Typing classes during the summer which helped but I really learned how to type fast thanks to AIM, ICQ and MSN Messenger.  This skill has helped earn me the role of taking minutes at all of our board meetings.  I’m not good at paraphrasing so I literally type verbatim during every meeting.  This makes for some very cramped hands at the end of the two hour meetings.  

10. I tend to be a very happy individual.  Being positive and joyful comes naturally, which I am grateful for, but it’s hard when I meet new people and they question my intentions or sincerity.  It immediately throws me off and makes me question who I am and how I should act more than it should.  Need to remember to be true to myself regardless of the situation.  Cue Mulan’s “True To Your Heart” song!

If you made it this far, kudos to you!!  Thanks for reading and learning a bit more about me :)

[lovemesomesurveys]

Would you date someone who still lived with their parents? I mean, I still live with my parents. I feel like it’ll be harder for me the older I get to find someone who would date me because of not just that, but several reasons. Are you a generous person? I can be. I feel like I haven’t been very generous these past few years, though. :/ I just feel like I’ve been selfish and I don’t know... just hardened by shit. I used to be the one who was there for others and wanted to help any way I could. I haven’t been that person in awhile. Do you have a close relationship with your family? Yes.  Would you have to sleep with someone before marrying them? As of now marriage isn’t something I want. I also honestly just can’t see it ever happening for me. Right now, I don’t even see a relationship in my future.  Do you think there is life on other planets? No.

Do you own a car? No. I don’t drive. Would it bother you if your bf/gf flirted with someone else? Uh yeah, it absolutely would. I’d be upset. Would you enjoy a night of playing video games? That does sound fun. I don’t know what I’d play, though. Are you sexually attracted to any inanimate objects? Um, no. Do you dream of traveling the world or are you happy where you are? I’d love to travel the world someday. Certainly won’t be traveling anytime soon... Honestly, even after all this I’m going to be scared for awhile. :/ Have you traveled internationally? I’ve only been out of the country once. Would you watch a porno with your partner? No. I don’t care for porn. Have you ever stolen from your work? I’ve never had a job, but I’m no thief (stealing candy from the candy bins sometimes at the grocery store as a child doesn’t count, I didn’t know!). How much does intelligence turn you on? I wouldn’t say it turns me on, but it can be very attractive. I just like when someone is very passionate and into something and they’re excited to share it with you. It’s cute how animated they get and the way their face lights up when they talk about it. Do you ask someone out or wait for them to ask you? I’m too shy and awkward and lame to do the asking. Do you watch soap operas? No. They’re so cringe-y, I just can’t.  Do you own any sex toys? No. Do you talk about your sex life with either of your parents? I don’t have a sex life to speak of, but I definitely wouldn’t talk about it. That’s just too much. My mom and I are very close, but just no. And most definitely not with my dad! Do you search someone on the Internet before a first date? I haven’t done that. I’ve only dated 3 guys and had 1 guy who I was talking to and almost got to that point (at least I really thought we were), all of which I knew beforehand cause we were friends first. Are you married,engaged, or in a relationship with someone u want to marry? I’m very single. I’m not even talking to anyone and nor is there anyone I’ve even interested in.  How often do you use facebook at work? I don’t have a job. As for my Facebook usage, I go on there a few times a day and just spend a few minutes scrolling through my news feed, “liking”/reacting to stuff. Maybe share a post. Do you enjoy television or movies better? Both. Do you have a friendship that has lasted for 10 years or longer? I don’t have any friends anymore. Would you date someone half your age? Um, HELL no. That would make them 15, you perv. I can’t even look at an 18 year old that way. That’s still a child to me. Hell, even someone in their 20s. I’m almost 31, I wouldn’t date someone who wasn’t at least in their 30s. Would you consider donating your body to science after you die? I want to be cremated. Are you a romantic person? I haven’t really had a chance to find out. I’m a sucker for romcoms if that counts? ha. Would you be okay with your partner hanging with their ex as friends? No. Are you careful with your money? I’ve been better this year so far. Do you have a current passport? No. I don’t have a passport at all. Do you like to be friends with someone before dating them? That’s how it’s always been for me. Do you like soccer? I don’t care for any sport. Is it more fun to go out just with your date or on a group date? Group dates can be fun sometimes, too. How often do you go dancing/clubbing? I don’t. I’ve been to the club once and it wasn’t my thing.  Have you had a relationship with someone of the same sex? No. Is marriage a necessity for two people who love each other? No. Do you meditate? No. Have you ever been fired from a job? I’ve never had a job. Is there anything you think science will never be able to explain? There are things that science can’t explain. Do you cook fancy meals for dates? I don’t cook. Is intoxication ever an acceptable excuse for acting stupid? Not if it’s something serious and it endangers yourself or others. Like there’s absolutely NO excuse at all for drunk driving. NONE. Do you believe in an afterlife? Yes. Do you litter? Noooo. I hate when people do that, it drives me nuts. I’ve seen people who are literally just steps away from a trash can and will still do it. Like, WTF? I don’t understand. Just hold onto your trash until you can throw it away, it’s very simple. Like people who throw stuff out their car window?? Just set it down on the seat next to you or something until you can throw it away. Why is that so hard?  Would you have sex with someone hot who you hated? I wouldn’t have sex or be intimate in any way with someone I hated. I wouldn’t want to be hanging out with them in the first place. Do you have a career plan? No. Do you mostly cook your own meals? The only thing I cook is ramen. Otherwise, I just make sandwiches and microwave or oven meals if I’m making something to eat. My family takes care of dinner.  Have you ever been arrested? No. Could you live with someone who was really messy? No. Are sex and love the same thing? No. Do you go to church? I don’t attend physically at this time, but I do watch the livestreams my church does every Sunday. Do you have pets? I have a doggo <3 How many concerts do you attend a year? I haven’t been to a concert in over 10 years. Do you enjoy getting drunk? Nope. I stopped drinking about 7 years ago. Do you believe in fate or destiny? No. Have you ever called your friend a slut? I’ve called friends that before in a joking manner. Are you attracted to someone with Power? No. Doing nothing all day makes you feel...? That’s how I spend everyday. Have you ever had sex with someone you worked with? Sigh. Do you have any children? No. Would you date someone just for the sex? No. Do you give money to charities? I used to regularly. I haven’t in awhile, though. :/ Have you ever shot a gun? Yeah, once. I went to a shooting range with friends a few years ago and worked up the nerve to try it out. Have you ever gone on a blind date? No. That would be way too anxiety inducing for me than going on a date with someone I knew would already be. Have you ever had a one night stand? No. Are you a passionate person? I haven’t felt very passionate about much in a long time.  Do you consider yourself a positive person? :/ Have you ever lied about the number of sexual partners you've had? No. I have zero. I have no reason to lie about that. Are Sex and Intimacy the same thing? Sex is just one example of intimacy. There’s other ways to be intimate, including ones that don’t involve being sexual at all. Have you ever played strip poker? Nooo. I would never. How often do you get angry? I’m someone who gets irritated, moody, upset, and frustrated often, but not angry.  Do you consider yourself an emotional person? Oh yes. Is work important to you? I’ve never had a job and it’s not something I’m seeking currently. Have you had cosmetic surgery? I’ve had reconstructive surgery. On a first date do you pay or do they? In my experience, the guy paid. Do you only date people who have jobs or are full-time students? Well, the guys I dated were full time students at the time and so was I. It’s been yearsss since I’ve been on a date.  Could you date someone who does drugs? I wouldn’t mind if they smoked weed, but anything else I wouldn’t be okay with. Are you a jealous person? I can be. I haven’t felt jealous in a long time. I feel envy more, I would say. Do you enjoy watching sports? No. Are you a cat or a dog person? I’m a dog person all the way. Is a girl who's slept with 100 guys a bad person? No. I admit it would be shocking to hear that, but no that absolutely doesn’t make them a bad person.  Do you offend people? I sure hope not. I really avoid sensitive and controversial topics. Do you prefer people in your life be simple or complex? A bit of both. Complex doesn’t necessarily mean bad. Have you ever been to a sex shop? Yeah, once. I had a friend who wanted to go to one for their 18th birthday lol so that’s what we did. Have you ever had a threesome? No. Not something I’m interested in.  Do you enjoy discussing politics? Noooo. Would you do a striptease for your partner? Gaaah. I can’t picture myself doing that. I’m super self-conscious about my body. I certainly don’t like seeing it unclothed. I also don’t know how to be sexy at all either so it’d be suuuuper awkward lol. No one would want to see that, trust me. Would you date someone who doesn't have a car? I wouldn’t not date someone because of that, but it sure would be nice if they did have a car since I don’t drive. If they had their license at least then we could just borrow my mom’s or my brother’s car, ha. Do you enjoy dancing? I don’t do much dancing apart from a head bob and some movement of my arms, but sure.  You have a week off, travel or stay home? I have the time, I just don’t have the money or the transportation. I lso wouldn’t travel alone, so it would depend on my family’s schedule. Can’t do any traveling right now or anytime soon for obvious reasons. :/ Does spending the weekend at home annoy you? I spend majority of my time at home (that was true prior to this quarantine and self-distancing thing going on). Is it wrong to watch porn if you're in a relationship? That’s up to you and your partner. Some people aren’t okay with that, so they have to work something out. For me, I don’t think I would really care that much. I’d just wonder why they’d want to. I don’t get the appeal, personally. *shrug* Do you think men should pay for everything on dates? No. I think it’d be nice to take turns or even split it sometimes. Would you tie up a partner if they asked you to do so? I have no sexual experience, man. I couldn’t start with that kind of stuff off the bat, we’d have to work up to that. I don’t even know if that’s something I’d feel comfortable with. I can’t see it being something I’d be interested in, honestly, but *shrug* Do you consider yourself open minded? Yes. Are you a virgin? If it wasn’t already abundantly clear, yes. Have you ever had sex in a public place? Do others find you sexy? No. Have you ever met someone in person you met online? No. Would you date someone twice your age? I don’t want to date a 60 year old, I’m sorry. Should a child caught masturbating be punished? No. How often do you drink? I don’t. Coffee or tea? The answer is always coffee. There’s no competition.  Do you tell your friends you love them? I never was one to say that. If a friend said it to me I’d just be like, “awww.”  Hahaha. 

[briteboy]

(circumstantial name by @earnoodle)

IT’S FINALLY TIME FOR THE POST YOU’VE ALL BEEN WAITING FOR (or maybe just that one anon)

there’s a LOT in here, newer questions are generally first so if you asked something a while ago and you’re only interested in that, scroll towards the bottom. also doing wcifs separately (errr i’m gonna try my hardest to ok don’t crucify me)

this mass anons post includes topics ranging from Very Sweet Things Said To Me That I Don’t Deserve, nitpicking stranger things, crying over ramona, lou theories, Cillian Is A Fucking Creep theories (true), and completely unhelpful reshade advice

let’s f0cking do this

You're right, apart from carrying his stupid brain, Santi's head didn't do anything to any of us. I apologize for anon.

I'm pretty sure I said that already but I love Rooney and Santi's relationship so much I literally have no words for it

ME TOO LIKE IT’S JUST SO PURE TWO NOT-KIDS SCARED OF THE ADULT WORLD TRYING TO FIGURE THINGS OUT WITH THEIR WEIRD BRAINS TOGETHER ;__; i love them

YO i didnt know u were a demigirl!! im a demiboy nb Buddies

hell fuckin yeah dude!! we are starting a demi club

Ok but like I really want werewolves. Like I know it sounds stupid but we have vampire and while yes I love my bat babes, I want a giant pupper friend. I have story written out and plans for a cabin to build. Now I’m waiting for EA to give me my big hairy babes.

DUDE i want more supernatural stuff too, mostly witches like I NEED MY WITCHES AGAIN!!! ts3 witches were so good. i didn’t like ts3 werewolves much but i feel like they’d be super cool in ts4, knowing how the vampires came out. i NEED it

hihi! i've been very quietly (??) following your blog for some time now and i just fawn over your characters way too much ?? anywho, i've been wanting to start my own little simblr story but ,, i'm not entirely sure where to even start? i have so many stories that i'd love to get out there, and i have the means.. butt, how did you go about starting out?? so sorry this is so long but i look up to you a whole ton!!! ty ily! :-)

i’m the (??) lmao that’s me always but ahdhghdfkshg thank you so much!!!!! i’m so glad you love them, it means the world to me ;-; and listen, that was me, i had no idea how i was going to do it because i’d only seen ts3 stories up to that point and i thought there was like a set Way to tell stories but i had no idea what i was doing so i was like y’know what...i’m just gonna do it how i feel comfortable doing it and i’m gonna figure it out as i go along. so honestly try to roughly plan out what your stor(ies) will entail and if you get stuck on planning and can’t figure it out, just jump right into it, try to make a few scenes or get the ball rolling somehow, even if it’s just random posts (i mean that’s all my blog was until i decided to commit to santi’s story.) it’s always gonna feel weird and awkward at first, but you’ll get comfortable the more you do it and it’ll figure itself out, trust me!

I read through most of your story posts the other day and now I’m rereading it again just to torture myself some more (and maybe catch up on some posts I may have missed). I honestly don’t think I’ve come across a sims story that’s so beautifully written & includes such evocative pictures as yours. I’m really at a loss for words, it’s all so stunning. & after a nearly two-month long creative block, it’s planted the smallest seed of inspiration in the back of my mind, so thank you for your art.

AHHHH AHSDHKGKDSJG WHAT!!!!! it’s always crazy hearing that 1) people actually care about my stuff, and 2) that it inspires them. like i really cannot believe that, stilL!! thank you so so much, i’m so happy you enjoyed it (as torturous as it was, lmao) it seriously warms my heart that you’re getting your groove back in the creative world, that means more to me than ANYTHING!! good luck with your art or whatever you decide to do with that inspiration!

 can i pls have your editing skill please and thank you

i owe most my editing at this point to reshade so honestly get reshade and u will probably become better than me

o added u on animal crossing and when you added me back i was so happy,, your little person is sooo adorable ((:

OMG!! thank you!! everyone’s person on there is adorable i cry i love them all so much i’m so mad tho it won’t let me add any more friends!!! it probably cuts off at like 100 friends or something STUPID

First of all, I love you. Secondly, I love your photos so much. I'm legit about to just ditch sims 3 for 4 now because of your amazing posts. 😖

LMFAO no but really THANK YOU I LOVE YOU!!! if you can manage playing both i admire u, i’ve invested too much time and effort into ts4 to ever fully go back to any other sims games tbh

The new patch made my game unplayable! I'm crying, I miss my doggos...

NOOOOO!!! hopefully by now you’ve found a fix, i’m prayin for u

long time listener, first time caller yoooo. i like everyone love your stories and your sim aesthetic so so so much and just tbh i was offended on your behalf about that ask from that person wanting to novelize your stories. like you were way too nice. this is your intellectual property and it's fucked up that someone would think it'd be okay to duplicate it as long as they used a different medium. this is prob a bad one to repost just wanted to you to know you're an awesome, singular voice

omfg lmao this is a radio show now *z100 voice* tellem why ya mad euhhh first of all i can’t believe someone even ASKED that, i’m in shock because like what this is so foreign to me. people want to write about MY characters WHAT! like that alone...takes a long time to process. and like i know i should say no but then i feel mean but they’re also my creations so like idk. it warms my heart that you feel so strongly and would stand up for me like that i’m cryin thank u for calling in i love u

I JUST FINISHED YOUR ENTIRE STORY AND I'M NOT OK WHO DO YOU THINK YOU ARE PUTTING ME THROUGH THAT SHIT IT'S AN EMOTIONAL ROLLER COASTER AND I FEEL LIKE YOU HAVE ABUSED MY (NON EXISTENT) INNOCENCE WOW

I’M SO SORRY U HAD TO GO THROUGH THAT ALSO I APOLOGIZE FOR STEALING YOUR INNOCENCE I NEVER MEANT FOR THIS TO HAPPEN OSDAFKJDSK BUT THANK YOU FOR READING I’M GLAD YOU ENJOYED IT EVEN IF IT HURT YOU!!!

I've been up all night and it's now 11am. I'm completely binging on your stories bc I am in LOVE and need a Molly in my game asap. Do you think you'll ever upload her?

omG my freaking story inciting insomnia i’m so sorry for ur sleep schedule first of all, but at least that makes you identify with santi even more omg tho ;___; (how many times will i say ‘omg’ i wonder) i don’t think so because she is so dear to me and makes my heart ache, she is just so special, i dunno if i could ever release her into the wild like that lmao. i haven’t even shared her with my friends (not that i really ever had a reason to) but like yeah. maybe in the future that’ll change but right now, no, i’m sorry <3

To change the topic: Idk if you watch stranger things but I only managed to get to episode 3 of season 2 before I stopped watching lmao it was so bad and Billy (a certified Cunt) ruined the whole show for me

YEAH I DID! omg. i have a LOT of issues with this season (mostly in how badly they tried to retcon nancy and everyone else not caring about barb’s death, how bad the writing was in the realm of nancy and steve breaking up and then her and jonathan getting together...holy fuck it was so uncomfortable with that 40 yr old conspiracy theorist guy i couldn’t even enjoy my ship getting together lmao) also ur right, max and billy honestly did not offer anything to the story...like i loved max too but what was the point...billy acted like their presence and the reason they had to move was so dramatic when it was really nothing...unless they’re saving that for season 3 but like. the whole situation with billy was so anticlimactic. he was like a walmart version of henry from IT. like boohoo ur dad’s an asshole and then he beat up steve. good character arc. i liked max standing up for herself but really...that whole thing was so lackluster, i didn’t care about it at all. ALSO I HATED THAT THEY DIDN’T LET MAX AND ELEVEN BE FRIENDS!! i’m sure it’ll happen in season 3 but like c’mon...that would’ve made the max character feel a little more important to the story. anyway yeah fuck billy and i don’t get why everyone is lusting after him or his actor they’re both ugly! thanks for listening

I just got the sims 4 + city living and I’m so excited! I was really inspired by your stories and style in general... I was wondering what packs do you have and also what are your favourite sims 4 hairs? I’m having trouble finding ones and I love your style!

YAY I’M EXCITED FOR YOU!!! omg aww it warms my heart so much when people say i inspire them because i never anticipated that kind of response, thank you so much <3 hmmm i think i have all of them except glamour stuff and fitness stuff. and pretty much all the hairs i download are here or here. (or the subsequent ‘tf’, ‘cf’, ‘tm’ and ‘cm’ tags as well, according to age)

UHM a 19 year old and a 13 year old? Poor baby Lou... Also youre a brilliant writer i cant

😬😬😬  stay tuned ajasdhjhjsahd thank you so much!!!

My stan levels for you have increased so much? like thanks for being a good ally, clAps for femmesim!

lmao thank you, i don’t really deserve praise tho i’m just passing on the knowledge of those patient enough to teach me. just trying to do what i can with my privilege u know. ily

How do you have teeth showing in so many of your pictures of Lou and Molly, do you PS them in?

i’ve gotten this question before and it’s usually just the poses used! i do have some lipsticks that have teeth on them but i mostly use them for just rooney.

Honestly, a fight between Santi and that new guy (srry, forgot his name while typing this) would be so hot. Like, I hope Santi would win but like just watching Santi fight him for Lou would make me happy!! Also, I live for your stories💞

omG i’m about to call up vince mcmahon they both need to fight on smackdown it’s gonna happen. they’ll both be shirtless too ok and THANK YOU ILY

boi poc can be PREJUDICED against white people but there is no such thing as reverse racIIIIIIiiiiIIIIIiiiIIIIsm

Lemme just say that you must be feeling so stressed rn. I love you and your simblr!!! Your posts light up my day!! <3333

OMg kind of. this week has taken A Lot out of me and i really just want to chill at home and play my freaking GAME but obligations. u know. here’s hoping i get a day off this week. i’m mad i’m probably gonna miss gianni’s birthday too (it’s on tuesday) and i wanted to do something for it!! i’ll probably do it late like i did last year too lmao i’m so sorry baby g ANYWAY u didn’t ask to hear about any of this...thank you for this sweet message i love you <3

why,,,, are people... coming to your blog to discuss race you are a fucking simblr WHAT

the real question is why do people go to you like its your job to educate them lmao like theres so many resources out there

SHAWDY u aint wrong reverse racism is literally a joke i am so sorry you have to go through all of this keep stepping on white feelings we deserve it

I was wondering would u consider Asians to be POC?

yes

I just finished Strange the Dreamer and it was fucking amazing. I cried so much and I laughed and I sat in absolute amazement at the world Laini Taylor has created. 100/10 would recommend

ahhhh i really need to read it apparently!! i’m like 10% away from being done with a dance with dragons (and then i have to wait for the next book like a peasant HURRY UP KING GEORGE) anyway this one is definitely on my list!

omgomg!! I just met this girl in my class who has eyes just like ramona's!!! But like instead of being brown w/ a little bit of blue, they were blue w/ a little bit of brown!!! Dude I was so shook I rlly didn't think ppl had eyes like that!

OMG!!!! that’s amazing! and yes heterochromia is a real thing haha. i’ve only met one person with it and he had the same color combo as ramona too, only his was full heterochromia, not sectoral.

*me in the background screaming* nO yOU LEAVE HER ALoNE baD-DAD-MaN!

ME TF TOO

every time i read some of your stories i get an ache in my heart that doesn't go away until i either cry or sleep so interpret that as you like

OMG ;_____; ok me too tho my heart literally hurts thinking about my characters sometimes...mostly santi...i hate him (no i don’t :{ )

hey uhh idk if you've answered something like this before but do you have a spotify or something bc your music taste is GOLD

THANK YOU!! you were the first person to ask about this haha and hopefully you saw my answer to the other question about it! i just made one and it’s here!

hi hi ! i’m seeing all the drama on da blog and i really want to read the whole story but i can’t get to it on mobile so i was wondering if you could link the beginning and tell me what the best order to read it in is ( i’m so confused because i’ve seen sm people y’all about a parallel story so idk if i’m being dumb !! ) i hope this isn’t any inconvenience also your sims are so beautiful sjajsjajs

hey on mobile the link is just: http://femmesim.tumblr.com/tagged/story/chrono i would honestly just recommend that order haha, it makes things simpler and it encompasses ALL story posts, or posts that give context. there are parallels in my story, lou’s is kind of a parallel of santi’s, only different...well...you’ll see. but yeah sorry this is so late! and thank you!!!

TU HISTORIA ES TAAAAAN BUENA POR DIOOOOS (YOURE STORY IS SOOOOO GOOD OMG) <3 <3 *OO* *cries in spanish*

MUCHAS GRACIAS ENCANTADORA PERSONAAAA <333

lou is wendy right? i mean, a wendy complex is someone who is overly mothering to partners, and lou is already a mother and ik that doesn't really count as foreshadowing but it seems like it could be a link to me. it'd make sense too, considering guys that go after younger girls (ew) are usually immature ie peter pan complex. it'd make the most sense that those two go together then.

heheheheh that is a VERY good observation...that’s all i’m gonna say!!

This has nothing to do with what's happening in the story rn, but whatever. I was wondering if you were going to mention lou's struggles with being a single mom and the stigma surrounding single motherhood? As a single mother myself I'd really enjoy seeing you take on the issue. Personally, my biggest problem was overcoming the generalizations people put on you when you're a single mom. People always assumed that I that I was stupid and uneducated because I had my son when I was 17.

yes! that will definitely come up. i will focus a lot on her struggles as a single mom. so far i’ve mostly just peppered in some stuff about money troubles, and that will come up again, and the issues you mention will be pretty central to her character as well. i’m sorry you have to endure that, it’s not fair. people don’t even realize how strong and dedicated single mothers are.

when you say Peter Pan, do you mean the Disney stuff or the og creepy stuff?

i mean the general themes of the story and how that translates into a peter pan complex: boy who never grows up, feels like he fits in more with younger people (haha...yikes), read the message above because that anon described the other half of the equation better than i could

Wait, hold up. That dude is cute but I feel like he’s coming onto Lou way too strong. I have a bad feeling.. Lou is like 13 there and he is 19 I mean I’ve seen bigger gaps between people, but she is not legal yet.. Where are you going with this? 🤨😅

yyyyyyep that feeling is warranted! i am going a way i don’t think you guys expect me to go...i think you’ll be very confused at the end of this part lmao. that being said, i’m not putting any of this in for shock value or to romanticize inappropriate relationships like this. (i’m probably going to be repeating that a LOT for this story but please just keep that in mind)

Hey mom wanna hear a fun as hell story? I just got back from the ER bc I fell on my razor after showering, and practically cut my nipple in half. (I am in so much pain hELP)

OMFG NO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! YOUR POOR NIPPLE!!!!!!!!!!!!! I’M SO SORRY I HOPE IT FEELS BETTER PLEASE UPDATE ME ON THE NIPPLE STATUS

U gotta watch sense8!!! Apart from the v awkward sex scenes it's v good, has a lot of representation and shit Just watch that shit show, u won't regret it (And if you do I cut your throat oops)

i’ve heard it’s good! i remember when it first came out and everyone was like Wow The Representation so honestly anything with diversity has already got me hooked pls don’t murder me.

I'm calling it now. He's Fi's dad. and he's a FUCKING CREEP!! Bitch you are 19!! LOU IS 13!! BACK THE FUCK OFF YOU PERV!!

no spoilers or anything but honestly i’m with you @ cillian die

Are they gonna fucc, o no

right now? no. that would be Very Bad

bABY ITS COLD OUTSIDE

oh same

Hi ! Your lastest edit (graveyard girl) is truly amazing, how did you make that bokeh behind her ? 😱😍

thank you so much!!! it’s reshade (with matso DOF)!

You've probably got this question a lot of times but i can't find the answer for it. What reshade do you use?

i gotta add this to my faq, it’s one i created myself but i started out with this one (it totally doesn’t resemble that one anymore but i think it’s a good starting point)

how do you make good looking male sims? mine always look the same and kinda girly..

hmmm longer faces, prominent chins and jaws, smaller eyes, bigger noses...generally yeah

What do you mean 9 + alt?

you gotta turn bb.moveobjects on and then press alt + 9 when an object is selected to move it upward. so what i did with those poses i made was, i selected a teleporter and pressed alt + 9 until it was at a spot i liked on the roof. that’s why releasing those poses would be tricky, ‘cause every build is different so there’s no set way to place them, you just kinda have to play around with them

You mentioned GoT so naturally, I have to chime in and express my love for Jon. Honestly, he won me over ever since the first season? I'm at season 5 now and people have already warned me so now i'm silently weeping, waiting for something to happen to my precious bby help

JONNY BOY!!!!!!!!!!! i loved his emo ass since the beginning but his arc with qorin halfhand (was he in the show??) was probably the best arc in book 2 and then his book 3 arc was just...SO GOOD, SO MUCH happens to him and i just felt like i was watching my son go through it all...i love that boy so much ;-; i’m almost at the end of the last book and i’m scared for him because of the one spoiler i know lmao and you’re at that point too so GET READY we’ll go through it together ok

So there's this game I'm playing where someone talking about another character says 'maybe you can break him from his ouroboros of self-fladulation' (I know I probably butchered those spellings but I'm not a bright egg and autocorrect isn't helping rip) and tbh it made me think of Santi. (Also I'mma scream of you get this reference jsyk)

OMG THE FACT THAT YOU THOUGHT OF HIM ;-; and it’s okay u are the brightest egg in the bunch to me. I’M SORRY I DON’T GET THIS REFERENCE BECAUSE I’M NOT A VIDEO GAME PERSON BUT I’LL PRETEND I DO KNOW WHAT UR TALKING ABOUT anyway yes santi is currently in the process of breaking his self-flagellation and embracing the oneness of the ouroboros (as opposed to letting the cycle repeat itself until he’s worn down to nothing)

do you have any favorite pose creators?

answered

do you have any tips for taking good screenshots in game? like how to get the good angles and good quality? i play on ultra but i think when i zoom in and then use the arrows on my keyboard to move around, the pictures gets less clear and looks kinda blurry. how should i do this?

well if you’re already using ultra, there’s not much you can do lmao. sims 4 is just bad with textures in general. it also depends on the objects as well, some are better quality than others. if i zoom in far on a sim’s face, i generally know there will be some pixelation and i can clean that up in photoshop with topaz clean and the smudge tool. i am very reliant on photoshop sometimes lmao. it sounds like you already have the basics of taking good screenshots, it’s just sometimes you have to fight and work with sims 4′s less-than-hd quality.

burn it down by daughter reminds me of santi & i'm in pain

ouroboros!!! death! birth! death again! birth again rinse repeat! also santi breaking the cycle because third time's the charm

The tattoo is an Ouroboros. It originated in Egyptian iconography, and it symbolizes recreation. My boy's recreating himself, I'm so proud.

ouroboros, the dragon eating its own tail. it's a sign of eternal renewal

i saw the post of child molly and just started BAWLING i miss her what the fuck she's my fave character i'M CRYING

ME TOO BICH!! ME FUCKIN TOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!

i just read all of A Serious Case Of The Novembers so far and theres still tears on my face. some of the best stuff ive read in a while, great job on everything

THANK YOU SO MUCH!!!! ALSO I’M SORRY FOR MAKING YOU CRY

every time you write about molly and her in heaven it makes my heart swell, like the characters were answering asks and someone asked her what heaven was like and even though it was so small short lil answer it still pulls at the heart strings, basically what im trying to say is that your writing is so good! <3

omg ;_______; me too, i feel like she has such a simple way with words and although her descriptions of heaven are brief, they are also complex and beautiful, and even just writing it chokes me up ;-; thank you so much tho i’m so glad you like it!!

Molly: out Molly tatto: also out

why did this remind me of this post:

How did you edit in the fire in the last post? Looks cool

i searched things like “bonfire” and pasted parts of it that i wanted on the pic to make it look more realistic, then put a layer mask on the pasted pic and erased the edges and stuff to make it blend in better. the sparks and stuff i added by pasting it onto a new layer and changing the blending mode to screen! 

idk if you have every watched grey anatomy but Lou's backstory is starting to remind me of Jo (Jo is a character from the show) like Jo was in a abusive relationship and she is married to the guy but she cant get divorced or he will come and find her. So like if Lou didn't tell Fiona's dad he was a dad and Lou was married to him and cant escape the marriage (cause abuse), plus it would explain Lou's kink with being choked ;) full circle *god-like heaven music with tiniest violin is playing now*

ooh no i don’t but that’s interesting and i’m excited you even made a connection like that! i will say that it’s not lou who likes to be choked (the very opposite actually lmao) but otherwise the situation does kinda fit. i’m the violin

I have a freakin bio pre ap test tomorrow on photosynthesis and i have no idea what it is im going to fail save me

I’M ANSWERING THIS VERY LATE BUT I HOPE YOUR TEST WENT WELL!!!!!! *spongebob voice* photosynthesis

last time I installed reshade I couldn't get it to open the controls or shaders or anything in game :///// any tips?? I love they way reshade looks too!!

hmmmmm well i know the control panel opens when you press shift + f2, and then you check the boxes of the effects you want on them. i haven’t heard of this problem so i dunno what other advice to give i’m sorry :{ if it’s your first time installing it, you might have to wait a little to get it to load up.

Da puppy is so cute!!!

That dog and Romona are so adorable, I might cry

Ramona's cheeks are so big im in love

NAJKSDJGKJSD THANK YOU i love her and her chubby cheeks ;-;

OMG TOTORO IS SO BEAUTIFUL I LOVE GHIBLI UGH FKSJFJANFB

SAME!!!!!!! if i could only watch ghibli movies for the rest of my life i’d be totally fine with that

THE DOGGIE HAS EYES JUST LIKE RAMONAS IM GONNA FUCKIGN CRY

ME FUCKGN TOO!!!!!!!!!! it was fate (aka me creating the wolf pup to look just like her shh i am fate)

Hope I'm not bothering you but i wondered if you knew how to make Tamo sims eyebags work on a toddler? Do I just click in s4s to work for toddler on the "age and gender flags" when looking in My CC or do I have to do something a little more than that please? Thank you.

for any skin detail or makeup, you have to go into s4s and open the package up, go to one of the tabs (honestly i don’t remember which one because i don’t have it open rn lmao) and you’ll see the different age groups and you check the box for toddler. and then save it of course. (there’s probably a better guide on how to do this somewhere lmao)

Hey :) Sorry to take up your time, I was wondering if you use win7, win8 or win10? I'm trying to decide on one and people seem to have very strong feelings about it. Also what web browser do you use? I've used Firefox, but I had some problems on CC websites. Thanks<3

i use windows 10 because it came with my laptop lmao i honestly don’t know much about windows systems at all!! and i use google chrome because it’s never failed me (even though windows keeps pressuring me to use the new internet explorer called “edge”)

i just finished all of novembers in a sitting and 1. i'm Sobbing, 2. your music taste is bomb

THANK YOU!!! my music taste is like one part indie shit, one part rap and hip-hop, twelve parts emo middle school bands

what is the size of the original unedited screenshot?

1920x1080

For reshade when your first install and select the reshade you want to use do you have to edit the settings? Cause last time I tried to (I didn’t know what most of the things meant lmao) but it kept saying error or something so I couldn’t play the game so I ended up taking out reshade

do you mean the preset you want to use? i mean no you can just play with that preset, you don’t have to change anything about it. i’m not sure what you mean but i followed this guide for setting it up

Will you ever share your preset?? Or maybe a preset made be you??

i’ve answered this before but the answer is Maybe

Hi!!!! How do you make the rays of light you have in your photos?? THANK U BBY <3333

that’s actually in my editing tutorial but here you go <3

is reshade only available on windows + do we need to pay for it

yes and no

Hello love! I was wondering (and maybe it's a dumb question, idk) but what life span setting do you use? I would assume you turned off aging for your story but maybe I'm wrong ;w; Thank you!!

i do actually have aging off ‘cause i’m a coward lmao even in the ts3 days when i wasn’t doing story stuff and literally just playing i had it off for the most part and just aged sims up when i wanted because i like to be in control of Everything (aries)

I really just wanted to say that I’m new I your tumblr but your stories are amazing and I love them so much!!! Keep doing what you’re doing💞👏🏼

hey thank you!!! you are so kind and i’m glad you’re enjoying everything!!

In your reshade settings where have you set it to save your SS's to and which key please? I can't find mine after setting it to desktop/screenshots :(

i just set mine to ts4′s screenshots folder because it’s what i was used to and it works for me haha. hmmmmmm did you copy the exact address or whatever it’s called of your folder’s location and then paste it into the reshade box? try doing that with another location and see if it works. if anything you can do what i did ‘cause it worked for me 

ok SO i came across this music video for this like spanish/english speaking indie band called The Marías and the song was déjate llevar and literally everything about the music video reminded me of rooney and gianni

OMMMGGG i love this so much, i cry @ music suggestions and this is so them ;-; i think i’ve heard of this band before actually!!

a little life is going to fucking ruin you,,, just a warning

great! i look forward to it

can a steal ur talent

have it i don’t need it

What app are you using to make them cool edit things??

i tagged it but it was doodle face

omg Strange the Dreamer is so freaking amazing! It’s literally one of my favorite books of all time; You’ll love it. The writing is absolutely delightful

you guys are really singin the praises for this book!! i have so many dang books to read i swear

[legit-min-yoongi-trash-tho]

BTS Intro Post

Title; BTS Intro Post

Genre; Info(??)

Type; Intro Post

Group/Member; BTS – OT7

Authors Notes; Enjoy! I’m soo terribly sorry it’s so late! Hope it’s what you wanted!! 😊 Also this is a rlly rlly long post with lots of facts and photos so um ye...have fun. Tbh all this post does is just prove what a big ‘ol piece of trash i am because 95% of these facts were from memory, I typed all dis shit out guys...im fuckin dead now. These are all facts from websites that I remember, certain nicknames are not necessarily what I call them but some dso. kbye 😊 x

{Requested}

oKAY SO SIT DOWN, SHUT UP, AND GET YO FEELS READY FOR BTS AKA BANGTANSONYEONDAN AKA BULLETPROOF BOY SCOUTS, AKA BEYOND THE SCENE, AKA THESE 7 DORKS WE STAN FOR SOME REASON!!

First up is Kim Seokjin {Jin, Jinnie, Mamma Jin, Princess Jin, Eomma/Eomma Jin, Pink Princess, Eat-Jin, Third Guy From The Left, Car Door Guy, Mr Worldwide Handsome, Seokjinnie}. Jin is the oldest brother, the oldest hyung in BTS and is basically their mother and let’s be honest our mother too.

Some facts;

 Born in Gwacheon, Gyeonggi-do, South Korea – it looks like dis;

 He’s got a papa, mamma, and hyung

 He majored in film at Konkuk University

 BTS be placin’ him as #1 visuals…I mean…he is gorgeous

 He has the longest legs & widest shoulders (60cm)

 He does this “traffic dance” which is adorable and you should go check it out, you won’t regret it

 He speaks a lil Chinese (Mandarin)

 Lil Jinnie usually cleans up the dorms (because he’s literally bangtans mum)

 He also rlly likes Disney princesses which is adorable

 He’s a v v good cook and has said he’s happiest when he’s with food (relatable jin m8)

 Fave number = 4

 Fave colour = blue (used to be pink, I think he still has a soft spot for it tho)

 Fave weather = spring sunlight

 Jin started playing Super Mario at like age 5 and Maple Story in Seventh Grade (Year 7) and he still plays them 😊

 When he’s hungry his left eye blinks a lot

 Fave foods = lobster, meat, Naegmyun, chicken, and greasy foods

 He’s friends with Jin Hyosang (Kidoh) from ToppDogg as Kidoh was under Big Hit Entertainment but left in 2012 and switched to Stardom Entertainment

 His role model is T.O.P from BIGBANG (same boi, same)

 He has lots of Nintendo games and Action Figures

 When he was younger he wanted to be a detective

 He wears rlly strong prescription glasses but doesn’t like wearing them because he’ll become insecure (I think we can all agree that Jinnie bean would look absolutely adorable in glasses??)

 He has a cute lil dog named JJanggu

 He likes Alpacas

 Jin can play guitar and piano

 He says V is the member he’s the closest to

 Jin says if he’d get a day off he would want Suga to be his servant so he an order him around

 If he were a girl, he said he would date Jimin because he is shy and someone like Jimin would help him open up and be social

 Jungkook and Jin bicker a lot, and a taxi driver once thought they were twins because of their nonstop bickering

 He likes strawberries but not strawberry flavoured things (yO SAME THO)

 He makes a lot of dad jokes (goals)

 Suga is the only one who doesn’t laugh when he makes dad jokes

 Jin said that looking at bugs isn’t scary, but if they get on his body, that’s rlly scary

 He dieted for a year, only eating chicken breasts ☹

 He is friends with B1A4’s Sandeul, they even went to an amusement park together

 He’s also friends with VIXX’s Ken and Lee Won Keun

 Jin sang the OST of “Hwarang” alongside V, which is Part 2 – “It’s Definitely You” (can find it here)

 He was casted in Law of the Jungle in Kota Manado but left earlier than the other cast because BTS had an abroad concert that time

 After BTS attended the BBMAS (Billboard Music Awards), Jin got a lot of attention (internationally) for his v good looks

Other members about Jin;

 Jimin; “He’s the oldest, but he likes to whine” [after school club] / “He’s like a grandma”

 Jungkook; “Jin-Hyung looks manly and he’s chic like a wolf but personality-wise, he’s carefree so he’s sloth-like (laughs). He’s really nice and he’s also a good cook, so we call him ‘granny’ between us”

 Suga; “A wolf”

 V; “Prince”

 J-Hope; “A princess”

 Jin’s ideal girl is a girl whose looks and personality is similar to that of a puppy, who’s hood at cooking, kind and takes good care of him

Summary; Literal princess, BTS & army’s mother, loves food and cooking, a beautiful man wHO NEEDS MORE RECOGNITION PLS AND MORE LINES ISTG I WILL WALK ALL THE WAY TO SOUTH KOREA FROM ENGLAND ALL THE WAY TO BIG HIT AND DEMAND THIS SHIT

Okay so next up is my ultimate bias (in case you couldn’t tell) Min Yoongi {Suga, AgustD, Yoongles, Min PD, Syub Syub, Motionless Min, Genius (self-proclaimed but I can reveal that this is a true fact m8), Min Monarch, Min Suga, D Boy, Sub-Energy}. Yoongi is the second oldest in BTS and probs the most savage human upon the planet, he often seems like the grandpa of the group but he can also be kinda childish and lively sometimes ^_^

Some facts;

 He was born in Buk-gu, Daegu, South Korea – it looks like dis;

 He has a pappa, mamma, and hyung

 He attended/attends Global Cyber University

 Yoongles is usually in charge of fixing the things Rap Monster breaks. He changes lightbulbs, fixes the toilet etc (handyman ayyee 😉 )

 He is like the father or grandpa of BTS

  Although Rap Monster revealed that he sometimes acts like a 5 yr old (same m8, same)

  He usually scolds and nags the younger members when they make mistakes

  Yoongi chose to become a rapper after listening to “Fly” by Epik High

  His role models are; Kanye West, Lupe Fiasco, Lil Wayne, and Hit Boy

  He has a driving license but doesn’t usually drive

  Yoongi loves to play basketball and when he was a trainee he played basketball every Sunday

 He is quite blunt and straightforward, a trait of many ppl from Daegu

 When he was younger he wanted to be an architect

 His hobbies include reading comics, basketball, playing games, and taking pictures

 He writes/composes lyrics daily, and even writes lyrics when he’s in the waiting room, car, or even the toilet (dedicatioooon)

 He wrote the song ‘촣아요’ (Like It) under 40 minutes

 If he has a problem he usually talks to Rap Monster because their age gap is small, they have things in common, and they’ve known each other for quite some time

 Fave food = meat, meat, meat (same tho)

 Fave number = 3

 Fave colour = white

Suga comes from a poor family, in an interview he disclosed; “After we debuted, I went back to the dorm and sat there blankly staring. I could not believe that me, a kid from a poor daegu family, would be able to make it”. (you made it bby, so proud omf)

He speaks with a satoori accent when he’s nervous and when he cries ;-;

His ideal date would be something simple, “For me, just an ordinary date...I want to watch a movie, walk and would like to eat together”

When asked which member would he bring on a deserted island for 3 years, he answered Jimin.

Suga; “Jimin. To boss around. (LOL) Just kidding. I don’t talk a lot, I’m not the fun type, but Jimin is pleasant and mature, so I think it’d work out.”

Would date Jin if he were a girl

He loves taking photos (same)

His bad habit is biting his nails (also same ;-; )

3 things he likes are; sleeping, quiet places, places with no people

3 things he dislikes are; dancing, loud places, places where there are people crowding around

Fave weather; where you can wear short sleeves in the day and long sleeves at night

He thinks his looks are 50 out of 100; “Truthfully, when I see myself I think I’m ugly” (um liess boi, ur fuckin gorgeous so like…ye)

Other members about Suga;

Jin; “He likes being attached to his bed. He has a variety of knowledge and always gives help with that knowledge. I’m fascinated as to where he gets that weird knowledge from.”

J-Hope; “Is cool. His personality is quite strong on his own thoughts. Pretends not to care when he does. Seems like he’s all over the place, but is quite careful. That kind of personality. (Ah!! Personality where he only just shows strength ㅋㅋ)”

V; “He really has a lot of knowledge. He’s quite cool on stage. Cool and amazing. No answer to him being lethargic.”

Jeongguk; “He’s like a grandpa. But his passion towards music is overflooding. He also has a lot of knowledge. But he’s still a grandpa.”

Rap Monster; “Lingers on things more than you would think. He’s really timid once you get to know him. Full of random information. Grandpa. Although he seems cool – never… no no… Wants to be loved. Likes music. Has passion and stubbornness. Says what he wants to and can say everything well in front. Has style.”

Jimin; “He talks too much in front of you. He doesn’t hesitate, and although this is my personal thoughts, he likes being loved by the members ㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋ”

His ideal type is a girl who likes music, especially hip hop. He says he doesn’t really care about looks. He also wants a girl who can be very active when he wants to and very silent when he wants to. A girl that will always be by his side (boy im here, sign me tf up)

He has a male doggo named Holly and she’s deffo his weakness

Summary; The lethargic turtle of BTS with a both a savage side and a cutesy side that spits literal fire that needs to be protected imo. He is a lil been who can act 5yrs old one second and then act like an 80yr old man the next.

Now we have the actual sun personified, Jung Hoseok {J-Hope, Hobi, Hopi, Hoseokie, Sunshine boy, Your Hope, Your Angel, Hope, J-Horse}. Hobi is basically literal sunshine and so sweet. He has the voice of an angel and can also rap like a gOD, he’s also the main dancer for BTS and he has major skillz m8.

Some facts;

Born in Gwangju, South Korea

He got a mamma, pappa, and noona

He went to Gwangju Global High School; & Global Cyber University

Before he debuted, he hated doing aegyo but now he’s changed his mind (and we love his aegyo obvs)

Hobi and B.A.P’s Zelo went to the same academy for rap and dance in Gwangju

In his pre-debut days, he was part of a street dance team called NEURON

He won an underground dance battle and even performed at a festival (go hobiii) 😊

Initially he auditioned for JYP Entertainment, together with B.A.P’s Youngjae and Halo’s Dino

Fave colour = green

He has a cute doggo named Mickey

Hobi hates working out and exercising (I relate)

Used to be a tennis player in elementary school and played in competitions. He once received a bronze medal, out of 3 team competitors

He rlly likes melodramatic movies and remembers watching a lot of DVD’s when he was a kid, since his father also likes movies

His role models are; A$AP Rocky, J. Cole, Beenzino, G.D

He says he is closest to Jungkook

J-Hope’s motto “If you don’t work hard, there won’t be good results”

He likes visiting the Fancafe when he has time because he needs to know what are fans saying (always there for us armies)

When having problems or worries he would share them with Rap Monster or Suga (so cute 😊 )

When he was younger he was quite famous in the Gwangju dance underground

Things he wants to steal from other members is Jimin’s chocolate abs, Rap Monster’s rap skill and his good English

His ideal date; “I love the sea, I would like to walk down to the beach and hold hands (laughs)”

Other members about J-Hope;

Jimin’s first impression about J-Hope; “The first person I met was J-Hope. He was very friendly to me, ‘Excuse me, Jimin.’. So, I remembered J-Hope the most.”

Jimin about J-Hope’s mean side; “J-Hope is bright guy, laugh a lot and has become hopeful like his name. J-Hope has good energy that effects everyone in a good way and I think J-hope is awesome. And people think he’s always nice and innocent. But, inside his smiley face, there’s an evil living there. J-Hope winds me up all the time but never stop smiling even when he does that. But you can never punch someone who looks so happy like that. One day, I was sleeping and all of sudden he poked me and shook me saying,

‘Jiiiimiiiiiiiin, wake up and play with me!!!!’

So, I woke up. But right after I opened my eyes, he just grinned at me and went back to sleep like nothing happened. So, I thought,

‘Uuuugh! I can never say anything to him cause he’s older than me!’.

And once he told me he would give me a massage and started squeezing the back of my neck, and that got tighter and tighter! He was smiling at then too! At the end, I was getting upset but he didn’t stop it. He was doing it even harder and said,

‘This will relax your muscles.’

When I was sitting down at the rehearsal room during the break, he head locked me. He hit me once and left the room so I looked at him with a serious face for a second. J-Hope, the timid, came to the room only after three seconds and gave me some mischievous hugs and said,

‘Jimin! Are you upset at me? Are you?? You are not! Aren’t you??’

Chuckling hard, he left room after 10 seconds. What should I do with him?”

Rap Monster; “There’s something he always says whenever we make a comeback or wrap up our promotion. He says that we got to make a comeback or successfully complete the promotion, thanks to the love shown by our fans.”

Suga; “I’m not good at expressing how I feel with words. But Jimin and J-Hope are good at expressing themselves. I envy them for that.”

Hobi’s ideal type is a girl who loves him, is good at cooking, and thinks a lot

Summary; he’s literally sunshine and he has one of the biggest hearts ever. Dancing machine Hobi is such a lil bean and he deserves the world, honestly 😊 alSO DESERVES MORE LINES!!

Kay so now we have the intellectual, the very philosophic Kim Namjoon {Namjoon, Joonie, Joonbug, Moni, Rap Monster, Rap Mon, Namjoonie, Leader Mon, God of Destruction, The Destroyer}. Smol dorky bean with dimples and a v v high IQ of 148. Also, literally a Rap God whose life is about philosophy, BTS, and music.

Some facts;

He was born in Ilsan, Gyeonggi-d, South Korea

He got a mamma, pappa, and lil sis

He went to Apgujeong High School

Rap Monster studied in New Zealand and lived/stayed there for 6 months. :O  

He’s currently enrolled to Global Cyber University

Pre-debut he had already been performing as an underground rapper, with several tracks released informally, including a collaboration with Zico (Block B)

He’s really smart with an IQ of 148. He was previously ranked in the top 1% of the nation in his high school exams (so fuckin smart m8)

He speaks English fluently (he does so well omg ;-; )

Rap Monster’s TOEIC (The Test of English for International Communication) score was 900.

There was a rumour among the Korean fans that at the age of 15, Namjoon had a heart surgery with a 30% chance of living (but that’s probs legit just a rumour)

Hobbies include surfing the web

He’s a great supporter of Gay/Lesbian’s rights 😊 😊

He has a younger sister the same age as Jungkook but when asked if he would introduce her to him, he said N.O (ehehe)

His image before debut was a neat and quiet student

He started to write lyrics since he was in school, on his textbook

Rap Monster has composed/produced 100+ songs (y’all needa check out his solo raps n mixtape boisss)

Clothes matter to him (yo I live for his daily kim posts)

Fave food = Kalguksu (Korean knife noodles)

Fave colour = black

Fave number = 1

Fave items = clothes, computer, books

Despite Moni’s rough and tough image, he is v playful n relaxed

He likes clear weather

If he were a girl he said he would date J-Hope because he’s like the mother at the dorm

Role models; Kanye West & A$AP Rocky

Rap Monster wrote the lyrics of ‘No More Dream’ because he had no dreams when he was in school ☹

He, along with Jung Hunchul (ex member of Bangtan) wrote a Brave Brother/YG diss track called ‘Hook’ (check it out here man)

He wants to be a rich Rapper in 10 years

He has a dog, whose name is RAP MON

He would like to make a sub-unit with Jungkook

He was the first member to join BTS

He likes to imitate his members

Rap Mon said that he and GOT7 Jackson are good friends. He said Jackson is very handsome and really good at dancing

 His ideal date; “It’s like the ordinary college student date. We can see a movie together, eat together, walk together. I want to have love like that. It’s because I can’t at all (laughs)”

Some of his popular quotes are; “Jimin, you got no jams” and “Team work makes the dream work”

Other members about Rap Monster;

Suga; “On the stage, Rap Mon wears sunglasses and has a powerful image but actually he likes cute things. He keeps the ‘Pocket Monster Ball’ on his bed that he received at a fansign”

Jin; “The Baby Dinosaur Dolly. He shakes his tail and crushes things

Jimin;” In the fact, he gets hurt easily”

Rap Mon’s ideal type; “Sexy, even to a brain. Someone that is thoughtful and confident”

Summary; lil dimpled smol bean Moni is all about his music and his groups and fans. He’s chilled and relaxed but has a powerful image on stage. Literally the god of destruction and could probs just look at something and it’d break (that’s what happens to me anyways)

oKAY so next up is lil squishy sinful bean Park Jimin {Jimin, Chim, Chim chim, Chiminie, Mini, Jiminie, Mochi, Sexy Mochi, Jiminie Pabo, Christian Chim Chim, Kumquat Mochi, Mang Gae Ddeok. Oh, and I regularly call him Chim Cham/Chim Chams}. Such a smol chubby lookin bean but then he turns into the personification of sin itself on stage and I literally cannot deal with it man…kills me

Some facts;

Born in Busan, South Korea

He has a pappa, mamma, and lil bro

He attended/attends Busan High School of Arts; Global Cyber University

Pre-debut Jimin entered Busan High School of Arts as the top student in modern dance, but later transferred to Korea Arts High School with V

Fave colours = blue & black

Fave number = 3

Fave foods = pork, duck, chicken, fruit, kimchi jjigae

Chim Chams used to view himself as “fat” and he was self-conscious of his looks and cheeks (which were adORABLE)

When he viewed himself as “fat” (he doesn’t anymore)…(I hope) he went into depression and starved himself T_T

He prefers sunny and cool weather

Is known for his impressive abs (*dies*)

He likes to jokingly hit the other members as a way of showing his affection for them

If music is playing he will start to dance no matter where he is 😊

When the weather is sunny and cool, Jimin likes wearing earphones while listening to music that gives a good feeling.

Jimin became interested in a singing career after watching a Rain performance

Once he wrote some lyrics and gave them to Suga. Suga said; “You called these lyrics?!” (the lyrics sounded like a children song). Suga asked him to redo the lyrics, but in the end, he still couldn’t use Jimin’s lyrics ☹

Jimin’s role models are; Rain, Taeyang (Bigbang) and Chris Brown

He is most confident in his eyes

He enjoys reading comic books. He said that comic books influenced him a lot

Jimin usually solves his problems himself. If he can’t solve it, he will share it with V and ask for his advice

Jungkook is always teasing Jimin about his height

In the dorm, Jimin in charge of the kitchen (chef chim doe??? 😊 )

Things he wants to steal from other members are; Rap Monster’s height, V’s talent and gaze, J-Hope’s cleanliness, Suga’s diverse knowledge

Jimin’s ideal date; “Sitting on the bench, drinking together… I would like to have a countryside date. We would also walk holding hands…. (Laughs)”

If he’d get a day off, Jimin jokingly said he wants to go on a date with Jungkook while holding hands together. And when Jungkook talked about his wishes, Jimin shouted; “Live happily together with me!” (fucKIN SHIP)

He felt a bit hurt when Jungkook ranked him the last in terms of looks. Jimin thinks the 1st is Jin while the 7th is Suga. (He was going to rank Rap Monster as the 7th but he changed his mind saying that recently Rap Monster got better-looking)

He has to use eyeliner while practicing the choreography, else he can’t seem to show strong expressions and he will get shy

Jimin appeared in GLAM’s MV Party (XXO). GLAM disbanded, they were under BigHit.

Jin chose Jimin as the member who has changed the most since debut😊

Other members about Jimin;

Jin; “Comes at you really cutely. It’s like being attacked by a puppy. Can’t refuse requests because he’s too nice.”

Rap Monster; “Basically kind and gentle. Is very considerate. Isn’t as timid as you would think. Likes clothes and style (same with me). But even though he responds well, there are many times where he doesn’t actually do it. Is quite stubborn. Is the effort-type.”

Suga; “Follows the hyungs’ words well, isn’t the personality where he’ll receive dislike somewhere, puts in effort to live his hardest”.

J-Hope; “Is kind, listens to his hyungs well, has a lot of greed, and has a personality where he makes sure to do his part, and he has a really good personality where he likes me the most and his faith towards me is very strong~~ ♥♥♥♥”

Jeongguk; “He’s the effort-type along with being a triple blood-type A, timid, shameless, and hates losing.”

V; “Cute. Only the amount of him losing his temper is excessive, he’s kind and a friend that’s trustworthy. I talk to him the most, and if I have any worries, he’s the friend that I tell it first to”

His ideal type is a nice and cute girl who is smaller than him

Summary; uuggggh he’s just so fuckin cute and he deserves all the love in the world. He loves the others so much and cares for them loads. He’s a squishy bean in the streets and a sinful bean on stage. Everybody needs a lil chim in their life 😊

Up next is the animal loving, sweetheart, 4d alien Kim Taehyung {Taehyung, Tae, Tae Tae, Taehyungie, 4D alien, Blank Tae, 4D, Alien, CGV, Gucci Boy, Gucci Prince, V} dis bean is crazy and extra as hECK. He’s also super adorable and his laugh is probably the best thing ever omfg.

Some facts;

He was born in Daegu, South Korea.

He has a mamma, pappa, and lil bro

He attends/attended Korea Art School; Global Cyber University

Tae Tae can speak Japanese fluently :O

Fave colours = black, green, and white

Fave number = 10

V’s favourite items are = his computer, big dolls, clothes, shoes, accessories, and anything unique (like himself lol)

It is said that when his teaser image was released 5 personal fan clubs were created 😊

He has been in the group for a while, but fans didn‘t know or hear of him until the time around his debut

He likes anything that is unique

His favourite artist is Eric Bannet

His role model is his dad. He wants to be a dad like his dad, someone who takes care of his children, listen to everything they say and encourage & advise them in their future plans (so fuckin cuuuute)

He has the same hobbies with Jin

When V has a problem, he will share it with Jimin and Jin. But he thinks it’s easier to talk to Jimin since they have the same age

Fans said V looks like Baekhyun (EXO) and Daehyun (B.A.P.). He said Baekhyun is his mother and Daehyun is his father. (it’s true tho)

V is a mood maker in BTS, along with Suga (daegu princessss)

V’s motto; “I just came up with it but let’s life coolly to the maximum. Since life happens only once, waking up at ease in the morning and working doing your best”

According to Yahoo Taiwan poll, V is the most popular BTS member in Taiwan

In the dorm V is in charge of the washing machine

When V celebrated his Birthday (131230 at MBC Gayo Daejun), he felt very happy because he able to share birthday with K.Will. K.Will’s waiting room was beside BTS’s room. So, K.Will came to him and said, “Hey, is it your Birthday today? It’s mine too! Let’s blow the candle together.”

V likes amusement parks. He especially likes the gyro drop, gyro swing and roller coasters (boi we can go together because same)

V can climb a tree but he can’t get back down (such a dork omg 😊 )

V comes from a poor family; “I came from a poor family and I never thought I would become famous.” He grew up under a family of farmers and often takes pictures of the farm they own

He revealed in an interview with ‘The Star,’ “[Being an idol is] a lucky chance that will only come once in a lifetime. If I wasn’t in BTS I would probably be a farmer. I’d be pulling out weeds from a farm with my grandmother.” (farmer tae doe can you imagine… :O )

V acted in the Korean drama “Hwarang” (2017-2017) (if you haven’t already watched it, y’all needa do so)

V sang the OST of “Hwarang” alongside Jin, which is Part 2 – “It’s Definitely You”.

If he’d get a day off, V wants to see his parents (he’s literally so cute tho omg)

V said the 3 requirements for his happiness are; family, health and honour.

V’s ideal date; “Amusement park. But nearby park is also good. I think that it’ll be nice if holding hands. My ideal is cute dating.”

Other members about V

Rap Mon about V’s cooking; “Honestly, we’d love try it. But V’s cooking is too great, we might end up crying. That’s why up till now we haven’t tried it. If V can roll the seaweed a little better, we will definitely give it a try.”

Jimin about V’s cooking, “We’ll try V’s cooking sooner or later. I just hope, V will stop stealing the food when I’m cooking.”

Jin ranked V as the noisiest member; “First, there’s V. I’m not kidding. He’ll be sitting in the dorms, then suddenly he’ll run around going ‘HO! HO! HO!’. He’s really weird. He’s like a different species. Do you know what he does alone at our house? ‘Jimin, I love you!! Oppa, I can’t! Jimin, I love you!! (Imitate V’s alone conversation). Seriously...”

Jin; “Although he seems weird, I think it’s a concept. He asks before he does something, he’s very detailed.”

Jungkook; “Although he’s a hyung, I have no answer to describe his personality.”

Suga; “Compared to his age he’s immature and isn’t able to become serious. It seems he doesn’t care what others think.”

Jimin; “He has a cheerful personality and really doesn’t notice his surroundings. He likes playing around. He’s innocent.”

His ideal type is someone who takes care of him and love only him and who has a lot of aegyo

Summary; le 4D extra alien who is suuuuuuch a family man which is so adorable is such a soft bean I can’t deal oh god. He’s v v sinful on stage tho so watch out…he’ll pull you in with his cute charms and then BAM hipthrust muthafucka

Okie dokie! Last but not least it’s time for the lil bun bun Maknae Jeon Jungkook {Jungkook, Kook, Kookie, Jungkookie, Bun, Bun Bun, Golden Maknae, Triple Threat, Muscle Pig, Jeon Cena, Ironman, Bunny, Seagull, Justin Seagull, Living Meme, Meme Child, Baby, Jungshook, Nochu

Some facts;

Born in Busan, South Korea

He has a pappa, mamma, and hyung

He went to Seoul School of Performing Arts and graduated in February 2017

He attended Baek Yang Middle School

He has an older brother named Jeon Jung Hyun

Fave foods = anything with flour (pizza, bread etc)

Fave colours = red, black, and white

He loves playing games, drawing, and soccer (football)

He has a weird habit where he sniffles a lot because of his rhinitis. He also wriggles his fingers a lot

His shoe size (U.S. conversion) is 7.5

Would date Jin if he were a girl

He likes the number 1

Said to be a very skilled cook

He likes shoes and makeup

He dislikes tasteless things, bugs, getting hurt, studying

He speaks Korean, Japanese and English (basic)

In 7th grade Jungkook learned B-boying in a club with some friends and hyungs

He knows Taekwondo (he has a black belt)

Before joining the group, he was a handball player

His favourite weather is a sunny weather with a cool breeze

In 10 years Jungkook wants to be the owner of a duck meat restaurant or a tattooist (fuCKIN TATTOOIST JUNGKOOK THOOOO

In middle school, he went to Superstar K auditions but failed to pass the elimination round

On the way back home, he received offers from eight different entertainment agencies

After randomly seeing and falling in love with future member Rap Monster’s rap, he decided to join Big Hit Entertainment (so cute)

Jungkook’s role model is G-Dragon (BigBang).

His dream, when he was younger, was to become a badminton player.

In the 1st year of High School he listened to G-Dragon’s songs and changed his dream to becoming a singer.

His motto is; “Living without passion is like being dead”.

Jungkook wants to go on trip with his lover someday.

He loves reading comic books.

Jimin says that Jungkook smiles when he swears.

About school subjects, Jungkook dislike everything except Physical Education, Art, and Music Class.

He doesn’t like bugs, but he likes cool bugs like (stag) beetles. He used to have a stage beetle when he was younger, but he didn’t take care of it well, so it died.

He said he usually doesn’t exercise a lot but started working out after seeing Taeyang and Jay Park.

The member who’s most similar to him; “V Hyung. He’s random, our comedic cords match well, and I think our personalities are similar.” (Profile written by Jungkook)

He is friends with GOT7’s Bambam & Yugyeom, Seventeen’s DK, Mingyu & The8, and NCT’s Jaehyun (a.k.a. ’97 line).

Jungkook, GOT7’s Bambam & Yugyeom, Seventeen’s The8, Mingyu, DK, and NCT’s Jaehyun (the ’97 liners) are in a group chat. (Jungkook and Bambam mentioned the ’97 liner squad in their ‘thanks to’ in their recent albums)

Jungkook’s ideal date; “Walking along the beach in the night.”

Things that he wants to steal from other members are; Rap Monster’s knowledge, Suga’s diverse knowledge, J-Hope’s positive mind, Jimin’s persistence and his effort, V’s natural talent and Jin’s wide shoulders.

Other members about Jungkook;

Suga; “Jungkook has a good memory so he can imitate us well. And I remember that when Jungkook first came, he was shorter than me. Seeing him grow taller makes me feel like I’ve raised him.”

Jimin; “I’m 2 years older than him but he keeps making fun of me for my height.”

Jin; “He’s quite bad at refusing requests.”

Rap Monster; “Individualistic, doesn’t share clothes. Washes his clothes separately. A slight timid-ness that’s like a maknae. Although he wants to seem manly, he’s actually a cutie. Although his passion overflows, it doesn’t go on long. Puberty, rebellious, but it seems cute.”

J-Hope; “He’s the maknae who talks backs a lot and doesn’t listen. Although his personality is quite kind… I also have no answer for his personality”

V; “Truthfully, he’s the same as me. I have no answer.”

Suga; “Because he’s the youngest, he’s still immature. However, he clearly shows what he likes and what he dislikes.”

Jimin; “He’s kind, innocent, and is bad at expressing his feelings. That’s why he’s cute. Jeonggukkie’s mine.”

Suga about Jungkook entering High School; “Jeongguk was the most handsome one there.”

V about Jungkook entering High School; “It’s not that the other students were ugly, but JK was most noticeable because he’s tall.”

Ideal type; someone who’s at least 168cm but smaller than him, is a good wife, good at cooking, smart, has pretty legs, and is nice. Also, a girl who likes him and is good at singing.

Summary; he’s a smol, innocent bun who is also a coMPLETE MEME CHILD HOLY FUCK NUGGETS. Hella tall bean with killer thighs and a v v disrespectful attitude on stage…I cri ever-tim ;-; 

OKAY SO THAT’S BTS HAVE FUN WITH THAT INFORMATION GO NUTS, HAVE LE FEELS, BECOME TRASH. LIKE I SAID IN MY NOTES THIS POST JUST SHOWS HOW MUCH OF A PIECE OF TRASH I AM OH GODS... 

{Request anything you want guys}

[szopenhauer]

Do you have a Beatles shirt? why would I? Do you know anyone who is going through a hard time? ... me?... Do you stay up really late, or are you one of the first people asleep? stay up late

Do have any plans for this evening? nope How has this day been for you? sigh... Did you get to sleep in today? nope Is life at all what you expected it to be when you were a kid? pfft The last thing that made you angry? What about sad? no comment Do you think about the way things used to be often? mhm Is there anyone that you would like for things to be the same with? grandma for example What do you feel like right now? ugh... The last text message you recieved says? “Może coś pooglądam” When was the last time you totally freaked out? recently

What did you do in 2020 that you’d never done before? had sex

Did anyone close to you give birth this year? my ex friends

Did anyone close to you die? no one close

What would you like to have in 2021 that you lacked in 2020? health, money, peace or however to call this state

Did you suffer illness or injury? sadly

What was the best thing you bought? can’t decide

What song will always remind you of 2020? shitload

What do you wish you’d done more of? eat if possible

What do you wish you’d done less of? worry, spend time visiting doctors, paying for meds, suffering, waste of time and money <yadda, yadda, yadda> *wash hands - jk

What did you want and not get? medical help and job

How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2020? nothing has changed

What kept you sane? internet (music, games, tumblr and such), my gf, dad, sleeping, shopping... 

What issue stirred you the most? mine or world problems?

would you ever watch a bullfight? I’m against bull fights would you ever travel to Greece? not interested what sound can you hear right now? sawing wood and washing machine

Do you remember what you wore yesterday? had my blue pants with daisies and SW tee with plaid sleeveles shirt over it What is your favorite kind of fabric? cotton and polyester? Would you consider your voice high, low, or in the middle? childish, weird

When did you first hear of Harry Potter? my elementary school bestie been obsessed with it

How many pictures do you take a month on average? *shrug* Are you the type people should take seriously, or should they think you’re joking most of the time? I’m often joking but it doesn’t mean you shouldn’t take me srsly at all, you know? What do you think of therapists? useless Do you have a bad temper? do I? What do you think about how around Halloween a lot of people harm black cats? that is a dumb excuse, not that anything gives you right to hurt cats in other situation than protecting yourself/someone from an attack Would you ever go to a sperm bank to get pregnant? creepy Do you have the same initials as anyone else you know? no one I know has initials like I do What do you think of people who use the saying, “Ignorance is bliss” in defense of something?  that’s true but we can’t be ignorant all the damn time  If a little kid walked up to you and asked, “Are you goth?”, how would you respond? awww thx but I’m not Does it annoy you when people say their heart is “broken”? only when they reffer to crush they never even spoken to once  Would you rather hang out with friends, hang out with one close friend, or be alone? be alone Would you know exactly how to help a person if they were choking on something? in theory, I’d try my best What are you listening to? Talor Swift - Love story Have you ever painted one of those “Paint By Numbers” things? several times

What color is your carpet? no carpet in my room

Do you have shower curtains? we don’t 

Do you think Oprah is lame? Ellen is

Do you play with dead bugs? *screams and runs away*

What was the last bug you killed? mosquito?

Do you flush trash down the toilet? that can clog the toilet so nope

How many country songs have you heard today? not a single one

How many yellow shoes do you own? 1 pair

Don’t you just love those ‘Axe’ commercials? they’re incredibly stupid and irritating

Did you know that the average human eats 8 total spiders in their sleep? I heard

If you had to switch races, what would you be? asian?

What is your favorite shade of blue? navy?

Have you ever thought about getting a mohawk? in middle school I had this idea for a moment :x

What’s your favorite extinct animal? mammoth, dodo, moa

What’s your favorite eating utensil? tiny forks are cute and wooden spoons are nostalgic

When was the last time your stomach growled in a quiet place? this or last month *awkward*

Have you ever rolled around in wet grass? not wet

Where was the last public bathroom you used located? KFC

Have you ever dipped a guy’s hand in warm water while they were sleeping? I’m not an asshole

Do you ever imagine random people in their underwear? whaaat?

Do you have any asian neighbors? our neighborhood ain’t diverse

Does your grandmother/grandfather use a walker? cane

Do you die without chewing gum?apparently not. I haven’t had gum in years and I’m still here.

Are you glad it’s summer? yasss How many calories would you say you take in a day? fuck off Have you ever pissed outside? more than once Ever not liked someone because of their race? I’m not a racist Are you pregnant? I an asexual lesbian and have period rn... Do you wanna be? no way in hell Do you share a bathroom? with fam Do you hate it? YES Describe your entire family in 3 words. mom, dad, sister Do you shower once daily? yep

Are you by any chance a perfectionist? slightly How would you react if your artwork became famous? wow

Would you turn people into stone if you could? waste of space, who would want to look at those statues?  Have you ever cooked a cake over a campfire? (I have, it worked ^_^) it’s possible?! good to know Are there any orange clocks in your house? why orange... Do you put shampoo in your left or right hand? ... left? When you take a drink of something, do you hold your pinky up? often  Which shoe do you put on first? whichever What will you eat next? rice or oatmeal? Name something that you have more than 28 of. problems  Do you like peas? why not Do you enjoy llamas? yup

[cheesyramynry]

tag time

mel tagged me in a lot thanks bro

aye aye aye thanks to he homegirl @starlightjeongin ily so much melly and you’re an angel <333 eskgetit!!!

also,,, there are like,,,, 4 tags in this so uhhhhh have fun

Σ੧(❛□❛✿)Σ੧(❛□❛✿)Σ੧(❛□❛✿)Σ੧(❛□❛✿)

i dont have a name for this tag

1ST RULE: Tag 9 people you want to get to know better

> so um if you read this you are tagged now congrats <

2ND RULE: BOLD the statements that are true.

APPEARANCE: - I am 5'7 or taller - I wear glasses - I have at least one tattoo - I have at least one piercing - I have blonde hair - I have brown eyes - I have short hair - My abs are at least somewhat defined - I have or had braces

PERSONALITY: - I love meeting new people - People tell me I am funny - Helping others with their problems is a big priority of mine - I enjoy physical challenges - I enjoy mental challenges - I am playfully rude to people I know - I started saying something ironically and now I can’t stop saying it - There is something I would change about my personality

ABILITY: - I can sing well - I can play an instrument - I can do over 30 pushups without stopping - I am a fast runner - I can draw well - I have a good memory - I am good at doing maths in my head - I can hold my breath underwater for over a minute - I have beaten at least 2 people arm wrestling - I can make at least 3 recipes from scratch - I know how to throw a proper punch

HOBBIES: - I enjoy sports - I’m on a sports team at my school or somewhere else - I’m in a orchestra or choir at my school or somewhere else - I have learned a new song in the past week - I exercise at least once a week - I have gone for runs at least once a week in warmer months - I have drawn something in the past month - I enjoy writing - Fandoms are my #1 priority - I do some form of Martial arts

EXPERIENCES: - I have had my first kiss - I have had alcohol - I have scored a winning point in a sport - I have watched an entire TV series in one sitting - I have been at an overnight event - I have been in a taxi - I have been in the hospital or ER in the past year - I have beaten a video game in one day - I have visited another country - I have been to one of my favorite band’s concerts

MY LIFE: - I have one person that I consider to be my Best Friend - I live close to my school/work - My parents are still together - I have at least one sibling - I live in the United States - There is snow where I live right now - I have hung out with a friend in the past month - I have a smart phone - I own at least 15 CDs - I share my room with someone

RELATIONSHIPS: - I am in a Relationship - I have a crush on a celebrity - I have a crush on someone I know - I’ve been in at least 3 relationships - I have never been in a Relationship - I have admitted my feelings to a crush - I get crushes easily - I have had a crush for over a year - I have been in a relationship for over a year - I have had feelings for a friend

RANDOM: - I have break-danced - I know a person named Jamie - I have had a teacher that has a name that is hard to pronounce - I have dyed my hair - I’m listening to a song on repeat right now - I have punched someone in the past week - I know someone who has gone to jail - I have broken a bone - I have eaten a waffle today - I know what I want to do in life - I speak at least two languages - I have made a new friend in the past year

alphabet tag

Rules: answer the questions in a new post and tag 10 blogs you would like to get to know better

> i dont know/remember enough blogs to tag im sorry <

A: age? > 15!!! <

B: birthplace? > californiaaaa <

C: current time? > 4:43 pm <

D: drink you had last? > water bc its good for you <

E: easiest person to talk to? > my irl homie @realmzenith , the most fantastic perosn i have ever met on this site and of whom my soul burns with affection for @starlightjeongin , and my rad friends in my got7 amino groupchat - selena, haru, apple, and emi :) <

F: favorite song? > oh boy i dont have a favorite favorite song bro i guess the first things i can think of is either danzon no. 2 by arturo marquez, martini blue by dpr live, and home run by got7 <

G: grossest memory? > asdf uhh when i went hiking with my pathfinder club and we went through a “long-cut” and went off the trail and we had to walk up this super long river, and then to get out of the river to land we had to walk through these riverbed plants and this gray mud stuff and i had to put on my socks and sneakers and it was disgusting <

H: hogwarts house? > i say that im a hufflepuff, lately i got placed in ravenclaw but i dont agree <

I: in love? > in love with the fact that im old enough to be a little free, in love with my kpop faves, in love with all of my friends who tell me they appreciate me, in love with the idea of being productive, in love with music and daydreaming <

J: jealous of people? > tbh i catch myself being jealous of other people’s artistic abilities, but i turn that into a need to become better/daydream about myself being that good so uhh???? yeah <

K: killed someone? > i was playing overwatch with a friend late last night and one of our comp matches there were these two dudes who played tank, one in particular imma call CTL who was rude to me and the whole team (my mic doesnt work so i couldn’t talk back but he was still a bing bond :( ), a few rounds after we left that one we got placed against the two mean tanks, and me, a mercy main with crappy aim, 1v1ed CTL who was playing mccree and i was HAPPY. we lost but binch i teabagged the heck out of his douchy body <

L: love at first sight or should i walk by again? > walk by again im staring at you either way <

M: middle name? > danielle!! <

N: number of siblings? > i have a younger sister!! <

O: one wish? > tbh to be better at what i want to be better at, like someone please give me like a stat 100 potion or something <

P: person you called last? > last person i called was my friend mikey of whom i was playing overwatch with lmao <

R: reasons to smile? > music!!! art!!! alan menken said that there will be a musical production of hercules in the future!! <

S: song you sang last? > the finale of newsies bc my sister left it playing on the tv as i ate nine (9) quesedillas

T: time you woke up? > techinally 6:30 am bc my dog was scratching my door, then 9, then 11 am <

U: underwear color? > mint blue and gray <

V: vacation destination? > i think i would love to go to the places in europe where composers lived, that or i would love to visit every place my internet friends live :D <

W: worst habit? > probably sleeping until noon, forgetting to do important responsibility things, reading a text message/email and then not responding bc i forgot about reading it

X: x-rays? > i got an x-ray on my right arm when i fractured it in kindergarten, some on my stomach when i ate like three whole mangoes with the skin on them, and some of my teeth before i got my braces <

Y: your favorite food? > thai food, stuff from panera bread, or pretty much warm foods with rice <

Z: zodiac sign? > im a virgo!!! <

✨ Fun Facts Tag ✨

Rules for this are:

Have fun with it!

Tag some of your mutuals

1) Favourite colours:

> green or purple!!! or like whatever im feeling lmao but those are my first choices <

2) Favourite song at the moment:

> asdkfjas;ldfkjsdlkfj bro i cant choose okay im going to shuffle my fav songs playlist adn put the first thing that comes up: damdadi by golden child

3) Last book you read:

> i think its my history textbook lmao finals are this week for me <

4) Last TV show you watched:

> my friend’s younger sister showed me clips from Stranger Things but i never have watch it before, i also watched a few dramas at a friend’s house but idk the names of them lmao

5) Last movie you watched:

> oh golly uhhh i think its enemies in-laws on netflix <

6) If you have a pet whats their name?:

> i have a doggo(?) named tucker <

7) If you have siblings how many?

> i have one younger sister!1! <

8) Favourite thing to do on a weekend:

> i think resting, getting up to date with my million notifications, just scrolling through the internet, or writing <

9) Best tumblr friends:

> on tumblr i have the amazing wonderful fantastic showstopping gravity-defying dabtastical @starlightjeongin aka mel aka melly aka melmel aka infant aka like the coolest and raddest person i have ever meet 

10) Favourite thing about yourself:

> idk if this is hard to explain but sometimes i do things people dont expect, like i was using my friend’s neighbor’s airsoft gun and like they were surprised that i have pretty good aim and that just makes me feel really good yknow <

11) Favourite memory:

> back in april 2017, during my band’s new york tour, in our hotel when i asked my friend what she was watching (it was got7′s m/v hard carry)

12) 3 weird habits:

> i turn on all of my nightlights in a specific order, when its dark in my room i like to dance to music and watch myself in the mirror, i tend to randomly scream i think <

13) What would you call your style?:

> i like to wear large clothes, even though im like a medium small bc ahaha i have slight body dysphoria, i also like to wear button-ups from the men’s section that have weird designs, suspenders, and i guess things that make me feel aesthetic and free < 

14) Odd talent:

> i can clap with one hand and me fingers bend weirdly <

15) Do you have a tumblr crush?:

> i have a big ol friend crush on my dear friend mel and a lot on the gr8 ppl of the aroha fandom <

the stray kids tag

Rules: answer the questions in a new post, and tag 10 blogs you would like to get to know better.

I’ve decided that in celebration of Stray Kids pre-debut album I needed to create a tag. The ultimate goal for The Stray Kids Tag is to learn about your Tumblr mutuals, and have fun answering the Stray Kids related questions! Here we go:

1: When did you decide to join the Stray kids fandom?

> lmao i learned about them when it was rumored that jyp was going to have a new boy group, and i followed the updates until the announcement of the webseries/release of hellevator. i didnt want more ppl to remember on my plate until december 30ish when i finally gave in to mel so here i am <

2: What is your favorite episode of Stray Kids? 

> im actually going to watch it right after i finish this tag post lmao ive never watched it before but i think ive seen clips??? when the boys were vlogging themselves packing idk if thats part of the webseries but thats cute <

3: Who would you say is your bias in Stray kids?

> I DONT HAVE ONE OKAY I DONT WANT TO TRY TO FIGURE IT OUT YET IM SCARED i legit like,,, dont know a whole lot about each member but i know their names but,,,,,, i think,,,,, before i start truly getting into them myself,,,, is probably seungmin,,,,, i think,,,,,,,, maybe,,,, whoops i just remembered woojin existed uhhhHHHH idk <

4: Who would you say is your bias wrecker in Stray kids?

> (im listening to ailee’s i will go to you like the first snow rn and im so emo while doing this tag) i love all of them!!!! probs chan or changbin or jeongin bc they are so sweet!!! <

5: What line would you want to be apart of in Stray kids? 

> idk the team compositions of stray kids so i will get back to you on that one until i watch the series lmao <

6: What is the first song you heard of Stray kids?

> of course hellevator lmao <

7: What is the first song you heard of 3racha? 

> FRICK actually i dont know bc melly showed me vids of them performing live but i dont know what the song was :( <

8: What is your favorite song on their pre-debut album?

> legit only have listened to hellevator and grrr so um ill say grrr?? <

9: What is a concept you’d like to see Stray Kids try in the future?

> SUSPENSE!!! idk if that ‘s hard to explain but like something with a story in the background, maybe like a spy concept with a nice orchestration i think they can do it <

10: if you could meet with the members of Stray kids for one day what would you say to them?

> ahhh!!! i dont know they all too too well but i would love to tell them that i feel that they are different from any other kpop group i have ever seen, bc they all seem genuinely happy and they are like the coolest bros and their friendship with each other is something that i could only dream of!! also ive heard that their songs have rad lyrics and they work super hard so i look up to them for that!!!1!!! <