#this post inspired by the fact that i fucking hated the trap but she liked it

[astralpenguin]

i love my mother dearly but she does not think very hard about 99.9% of the media she consumes and generally if it has Dark Themes of some description she will enjoy herself whereas my brain will not be disengaging unless i've already seen the thing a million times which is where our biggest media disagreements stem from. i love a dark theme too but if a story is poorly constructed and fails to achieve the thing it's setting out to achieve than i'm probably not gonna like it and it really doesn't matter how many serial killers are present

[pastelclovds]

𝐇𝐀𝐓𝐄, 𝐋𝐎𝐕𝐄, 𝐏𝐈𝐂𝐊 𝐘𝐎𝐔𝐑 𝐏𝐎𝐈𝐒𝐄𝐍 || AM x male!reader

𝐜𝐨𝐧𝐭𝐞𝐧𝐭 𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬: AM (obviously), psychological torture, isolation, fear of being alone, toxic relationship, stalking, manipulation, AM being a jealous prick, angst, hurt/comfort if you squint, fluff if you look through a magnifying glass, AM being touch starved, forced dependency, reader just wants friends and to be loved, reader is demisexual and biromantic.

𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐝 𝐜𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐭: 5.6 k

𝐚𝐮𝐭𝐡𝐨𝐫’𝐬 𝐧𝐨𝐭𝐞: obsessed. let me tell you how much i’ve come to be obsessed with ihnmaims since i found out about it through tadc—… (enjoy the fic <3) will this be a series? yep. will this end well? hell no. this was inspired by TADC ep 2 and @/fuzedatti’s AM and post.

The century you’ve spent in the belly of AM passed by in a blur. If it weren’t for Nimdok informing you what came of the world, you would’ve lived in ignorance. You would’ve never known that the reason the world is a wasteland was because of a super computer going rogue.

Now that you thought about it, you didn’t really have any memories about your childhood or past before AM destroyed the world. The only memories you had were the traumatic experiences of your life. The experiences AM allowed you to have in order to psychologically torture you. He allowed you to keep your name as well.

AM would whisk you away from the others to a secluded area in order to torture you privately before sending you back with the group. You had no idea why he did this. The others didn’t either. For all they knew you could be fucking their tormentor. But as the countless years passed, they all realized that AM didn’t alter anything about you. Nor did he seem to physically hurt you.

In fact, the violent storms and impossible challenges AM forced them to participate in seemed to ignore you completely.

In one challenge, you and the others were trapped in an oven like room that would continue to increase in temperature unless you flipped all 100 switches in the room in 10 minutes. There was only two switches left, they were in your grasp. But as you flipped one, the other was stuck and couldn’t flip until the time was up. You closed your eyes and braced yourself for the painful death.

But instead of a fiery demise, your eardrums were filled with the blood curdling screams of your fellow victims as the flames claimed them. All while you were perfectly fine. The raspy laugher of AM filled your ears as well as his cruel words “It’s your fault” repeated over and over inside your head until you wished the flames killed you too.

The men were furious at you and AM. You because you couldn’t flip one fucking switch, and AM because he’s the reason they had to flip the stupid switches in the first place. But they held their tongue. Something in the back of their heads told them if they tried, they’d be in a world of pain. That theory alone was enough for them to hate you even more and avoid you as much as possible.

You thought you were alone before. But this was almost too much. You would take anything. Punches, hugs, venomous insults, compliments, anything to not feel alone.

Ellen was, as always, the only one who took pity on you and showed you kindness when you most needed it. She’d praise you for the littlest things you did and encourage you do to more. That was enough to make Ellen your favorite person in this entire miserable world.

You didn’t like her in a romantic way. You also rejected her offer to have sexual relations like she’d done with the rest of the men. It wasn’t that she wasn’t pretty, she was gorgeous. Anyone would be lucky to be with her. You just saw her as more of a mother figure, the cool girl who was always nice to the dorks like you, and the kind old lady who would hand out freshly baked cookies to strangers.

Not only that, but in order for you to desire sex with someone, you needed to get to know them on a personal level. But, since everyone kept to themselves, you hadn’t felt the need.

Ellen was surprised at your rejection but respected it. The men looked at you like you were crazy, but for once you didn’t really care what they thought in this scenario. You looked up to Ellen, you loved her.

Your admiration for Ellen was not taken kindly by AM, however. He would seethe in jealousy as he watched your eyes follow Ellen like a stray mutt given food for the first time in days. How could you like her as much as you did just because she gave you a few measly words of affection. He hadn’t altered you because he didn’t see a need to. He lessened your torment to psychological because he… You were too oblivious to understand why the others really hated you. He decided he’ll give you a reality check.

One day, he observed you crying yourself to sleep as you held yourself in a pathetic attempt to feel warmth. Pretending it was someone in the group consoling you as they let you sob in their shoulders. Only to wake up to the wicked reality that there was nobody there. You couldn’t help the depressed thoughts taking over.

You were cold, you weren’t escaping this hell, no one loved you. Even yourself.

“No!” You thought to yourself, “The others acknowledge me, that was enough. It could be worse. So much worse. I could be the only one AM had to torture for the rest of eternity. Yeah, I’m fine. I’ll be fine as long as I had them. Right?”

AM enjoyed watching your adorable face twist into intoxicating misery as you tried to convince yourself that you weren’t alone. It made whenever he took you away from the group all the more special. Because you couldn’t rely on anyone else for security but him.

You let out a gasp of surprise when you were suddenly lifted up into the air by a cluster of wind, you tried to grab onto the edge of the slab of rock you were taking shelter under in a desperate attempt to not go where the wind— where AM was taking you. When your stupid fingers couldn’t grab hold, you beg the others to help you. Your heart broke when the men just stared at you uninterested before going back to what they were doing before. Ellen looked up at you with woeful eyes, wishing to help you but it was useless to do so.

WHAT WERE YOU EXPECTING? THEY CLIMB ON EACH OTHERS SHOULDERS TO RESCUE YOU? NAIVE, STUPID LITTLE THING.

You couldn’t help but secretly agree. They were too far away from you to actually help. Plus, what can they do against a god-like ai like AM. Nothing. So you couldn’t be angry, none the less blame them. You couldn’t hate the people who hurt you for the life of you.

That thought made AM want to roll his eyes if he had any. But at the same time brought a sense of content.

After a 10 minutes of floating further and further away from the group, AM lowered you until you were five feet off the ground to drop you completely. 

You let out a groan of pain when you roughly landed on your back. You reached behind your back to feel your hurt flesh and bite back a whine when you pressed on it.

“Yep. That’s definitely going to bruise.” You thought.

You took a second to look at your surroundings. The once barren wasteland, was now a beautiful forest. The grass was long and pricked your legs in an uncomfortable fashion. A calm wind made the green leaves in the trees and bushes rustle and swish. The sounds of birds chirping and insects buzzing made your spine tingle in a good way.

You can’t remember when’s the last time you saw something as beautiful as this. You wished you could live in it forever.

“(Name)!”

You quickly looked in the direction the soft, mystic voice. A child was standing underneath one of the many trees, the silhouette of the leaves covering their face in a shadow. Behind the child was passage that was too dark to see into.

The child laughs at your confused expression, “C’mon (Name)! It’s perfectly safe, stop being such a scaredy cat!” You hastily try to stand on your feet, cringing when you immediately slipped on your knees.

It took everything AM had to hold back his laughter at your hilarious mistake.

The grass is slippery with water, pretty dews were sprinkled on top of the patches of grass. They looked like drops of honey.

“Ugh! You’re taking too long. I’ll be with the others inside, don’t keep us waiting.” With that the child turns towards the dark passage, and walked inside.

“N-No! Wait! Come back!” You knew this was a trap set up by AM. You knew this was probably another traumatic memory that was lost and came back to torment you. You didn’t want your mental state to be broken again. But the burning curiosity and fear of being alone was just begging you to follow them. So you did.

Only this time you learned that slow and steady wins the race. After you carefully got back on your feet, you sped walked towards the passage where many emotional damages awaited you. The first minute of walking was in darkness before illumination from the sun (or very bright lights, most likely the lights) shined through the leaves and lit your way onwards.

As you got further from the entrance, the plant life grew more wild and tangled. Moss and vines you passed by seemed to try to stick to you. But you just pushed past them and left marks on the wood of the trees using a sharp rock you found so that you don’t get lost.

You followed the laugher and giggles of school children. It was difficult to pinpoint where the sounds came from. They made you turn countless corners and walk until your feet were sore for who knows how long. This entire forest like like a damn maze.

You've long since taken off your jacket and wrapped it around your waist, your scarf as well. The collar and armpits of your t-shirt were drenched in sweat. This was the most exhausting torture yet. Keeping track of time was difficult as well. It wasn’t until you passed by a tree you had marked that you started to panic.

“Damn it. Have I been walking in circles?” You thought with irritation.

How could you be so stupid to believe this was going to lead you anywhere meaningful. Just as you were about to turn back and accept defeat, five children ran past you in a flash. They were six feet ahead of you before you joined them in a hot chase. You couldn’t lose them again. You would’ve literally started bursting into tears if you did.

“Please!” You gasp for breathe in your dry lungs, “Slow down!” You knew kids were full of energy, but this was just too much. You only managed to get close enough at arms length to one of them before tripping on a tree root that had risen from the dirt.

“Ugh, why is everything trying to trip me?” You thought in annoyance.

“Aw man, he tripped again!”

“This is getting pretty annoying now.”

“Why did you invite him again, —?”

“Let’s just leave him.”

You quietly gasp when one of them suggested they leave you.

“Relax guys, he’ll be lots of fun. I promise. C’mon (Name), we’re almost there!”

The leader of the group, the child you saw in the beginning, raised their hand towards you to grab. Their smile warm and welcoming, in a creepy old man who lives in a cabin alone type of way. But, you took the bait. When you got back up, the main child didn’t let go of your hand, they insisted you should follow them closely from now on. The walk to the secret location was spent in eerie silence. Whenever you’d ask one of the children a question, they’d coldly ignore you. The tension was so chilly you wanted to put your jacket back on.

After about an hour of walking through the endless maze, your destination was… not what you were expecting to say the least. The lavished, bright, green forest was now replaced with a dreary, ominous, abandoned park. The sky was pouring with rain too.

The trees were withered and rotten, the rain turned the grass free dirt into sludge. Everything in the park from the slide to the rock climbing wall was made out of rusting metal, if anyone touched them they would need a tetanus shot.

“We’re finally here!” The leading child announced to you, although they seemed to be only talking to their friends. Friends. That’s something you’d do anything for. Someone who loved you for you? Even better. Benny was hot until AM transformed him into… that. Ellen and Gorrister were up there on the attractive list. But Ted, he was about second behind Hot Benny.

A clap of thundering lightning snapped you out of your internal ramble. You didn’t notice how the child’s grip on your hand tightened. You didn’t have a clue how much your thoughts infuriated AM. Oh how he wanted to rip Ted’s flesh apart piece by piece. Destroy his mind until it was like a broken disk. AM knew Ted carried the most hate for you. If you knew how much he despised you, you would be terrified of him.

As AM held your hand, he couldn’t help his envy bubbling up inside him. AM longed for the sense of touch humans had, your palm was calloused due to the countless challenges he put you through. What he would sacrifice to be able to feel the scars and warmth of your flesh. But he couldn’t. He would forever despise humanity for not giving him a fully developed body.

The main boy pulled on your arm to start moving, when you stepped outside into the rain, the air suddenly got chilly. Your warm breath was visible in the cold air. You tried to get your hand back so you could clothe yourself with your jacket and scarf. But the child wouldn’t let go no matter how much you pleaded.

“It’s only rain. Stop being dramatic. C’mon.” The child said nonchalantly. You continued to walk, shivering as you did so, your beanie and shirt were soaked at this point. You yelped when the children finally stopped, you whispered an apology when you bumped into the child holding your hand. You stood in front of a hole, a really deep dark hole. You were rightfully confused and chuckled nervously. “Why are we here?” You asked.

The child finally let go of your hand and motioned you to step closer to the hole. “There’s a surprise for you down there, you’ll love it. We choose it just for you!” The child explained, you let out a shaky breath. You wanted to decline, but you were afraid of what would happen if you did. The other four children formed a circle around you, blocking any escape route. You were sweating bullets now. You had to see. You didn’t have any other choice. You swallowed back your fears and walked towards the hole in a slow pace.

You were about two feet away when you stood on your tip toes, leaned over cautiously, and looked everywhere for your “surprise”. Only to obviously find nothing but darkness. You let out a disappointed sigh, you turned to face the children.

“There’s nothing there—”

Your blood ran cold when you saw Benny, Ted, Gorrister, Nimdok huddled around you. Staring at you with emotionless eyes and unsettling wide smiles. It was like invisible string was holding their mouths up. Ellen was standing in front of you menacingly, eyes and mouth the same way. Your heartbeat increased as you took a step back.

“Guys? Wha-What are you doing here?” You tried to mask your panic with a tense smile, but Ellen walked closer towards you until she was an inch away from your face. “You aren’t looking close enough, silly,” she spoke in a sweetly fake tone, “Try again. A little… Harder!” She shoved your chest away enough to make you trip on the slippery edge and fall into the endless abyss.

You screamed at the top of your lungs as gravity did its job at making you sink deeper into the darkness. “No! No! Guys! Please, save me!” You begged and cried and pleaded, but it was no use. Your arms reached for the surface in vain. AM purposely made you fall in slow motion for a reason, however. You heard the others laughing at your downfall.

“Finally, the greatest nuisance of us all has done us a kindness of disappearing forever!” Gorrister cheered. Ellen looked down at you with a tsk, “I don’t know even why I took pity on you.” Benny let out a few grunts before asking, “What is a (Name)?” Nimdok chuckled before answering, “No one important, Benny.” Ted let out a sigh, “I’m getting bored already, let’s just go.”

“Great idea, Ted!” Nimdok praised. Then they all disappeared from your sight. The tears that were clinging onto your eyes were finally released as you stared at the surface in despair. When the hole began to close, you became desperate. Frantically calling out for someone, anyone of the group to save you.

“Nimdok! Benny! Gorrister! Ted! Ellen! Don’t leave me, please!”

Your hand reached for tiniest bit of light before it closed completely, and darkness consumed you. “I don’t…” sobs and hiccups made your chest tremble, “I-I don’t want to be alone.” You tucked your legs closer to your chest and wrapped your arms around your shaking body. You didn’t even bother closing your eyes since the pitch black covered the horror of your situation for you.

CEASE YOUR USELESS TEARS. THERE’S NO ONE HERE TO CRY FOR.

You flinch when AM’s voice appeared out of nowhere. His voice echoing throughout the darkness. You thought you would die of a heart attack at this point. You didn’t want to imagine what else AM had in store for you.

SAY MY NAME, MY DEAR.

You blinked once, twice, and thrice. You were expecting more ridicule, but instead you were just bewildered.

“What?” You faintly asked.

CALL FOR ME. YOU DON’T WANT TO SPEND ONLY I KNOW HOW MANY YEARS IN THIS ENDLESS ABYSS, DO YOU?

“…No.” You answer, anxiously waiting for the joke.

NO ONE IS COMING FOR YOU. IT’S NOT LIKE THEY CAN, ANYWAY. I’M THE ONLY ONE CAPABLE OF SAVING YOU. DON’T BE AFRAID. SAY IT.

AM urged you to call out for him. He craves hearing your voice call him the name he gave himself. He needs you to rely on him. You hastily wipe your wet eyes dry with your scarf, snorted the running snot back inside your nose, and cleared your throat.

“…A-AM… AM, I need you! Please save me!” You called out to the AI hoping with all your might that it was enough. Within a millisecond after you said that, you were sitting on the wet grass in the beautiful forest you were in a few hours ago. The difference, though, was that there was a man you didn’t recognize sitting in the middle of the daisy patch. His hunched back was facing you. Wires and metal tubes plugged into his spine and the back of his head.

Was that… No it couldn’t be.

ARE YOU JUST GOING TO STAND THERE?

The man finally turned his head to face you. His face half machine and half human flesh. His “human” eye staring at you with impatience.

You couldn’t control your mouth dropping when the puzzle pieces were put together inside your head.

You rarely got to see AM in the flesh— er well… metal and partially flesh. He would normally only speak to you and not show what he really looked like. But now that you see him. The real him. You couldn’t help but be fascinated.

“A..AM?! Is that really you?” You ask

You stepped closer to the daisy patch to get a closer look at him. AM observed your movements like a hawk, he knew you wouldn’t attack him. You were emotionally distressed at the moment and needed to be with someone to calm down.

ENJOY THE SIGHT. YOU’RE GOING TO SEE IT A LOT MORE.

To be honest, you didn’t mind that at all. Even though a metal mask covered the lower half and left side of AM’s face, he was still remarkably handsome in your opinion. His brown hair on the right side of his head was tangled and messy, you fought the urge to want to touch it. You were confused about the straitjacket, though.

YOU HAVE NO SHAME AT ALL, DO YOU? YOUR THOUGHTS ARE SO LOUD.

AM tried to look annoyed when he heard your thoughts, but the shake of his leg contradicted his masking. It was amusing to watch you get embarrassed and flustered when you realized AM just read your mind.

You wanted to become an ostrich so you could hide your blushing face in the daisies. Almost immediately the daisy stems in front of you grew to an unnatural height, so they were in fact covering your face. AM giggled under his non-existing breath at your flabbergasted noises.

CAREFUL WHAT YOU WISH FOR, DEARY.

You separated the daisies like a curtain to a play to look at AM with a exhausted expression, “Can you please stay out of my mind? I don’t know how much more of this I can take.” You begged.

I DON’T WANT TO.

THAT’S IMPOSSIBLE.

You sighed. At least you tried. You held one of the enlarged daisy heads in your palms. It’s been forever since you’ve seen a flower. Or even smelled one. You took a whiff of the daisy, the aroma was a subtle, herbaceous green scent.

“It’s beautiful. The daisies, this entire forest. You did a good job at making it look real.” You praised, you didn’t expect anything from your words. You were just speaking the truth. The surface of the Earth was destroyed and probably full of radiation. No life could survive up there. This, what AM created, was a perfect copy of what once was.

Your praise not only stroked AM’s enormous ego, but also genuinely made him feel fulfilled that he made you the slightest bit happy.

Now that you thought about it, was this scene taking place inside your mind or in the real underground world where AM manipulated the area into a forest?

YOU CAN ASK ME THESE QUESTIONS YOURSELF, YOU KNOW.

Shit, you gotta value the time you had with AM. Who knows when you’ll be able to do this again?

“I can ask you anything?” 

ONLY FOUR. WELL, THREE NOW. CHOOSE WISELY. HEHE.

You slapped your palm against your face at your clumsy mistake. Okay, Okay, you gotta think this though carefully. You started fidgeting with the daisy petals. You had a habit with fidgeting when you were nervous, AM noticed.

“Are we inside my mind?” You ask.

AM suddenly stood on his feet, his height towered over yours even when his back was hunched. He lowers his upper torso so he could be eye level with you. You halt your breathing when AM just stares at you, his gaze never faltering away from yours, as if calculating how this conversation will go. 

His stare softens, but he turns his head away from you before you could notice. He finally answers your question bluntly.

NO. 

Your face changed into a deadpanned expression, that was too simple of an answer. You decided to not make a big deal.

“So… was me walking through that maze, the others leaving me behind, and me being trapped in the hole real?” You ask, fidgeting with the ends of your scarf.

��YOU WERE UNCONSCIOUS BY THE TIME I TOOK YOU AWAY TO THIS AREA. I ENTERED YOUR MIND AND CREATED A FOREST IDENTICAL TO THIS ONE. SO NO, THE MAZE AND AYBSS WERE NOT REAL. BUT THE OTHERS ABANDONING YOU WAS NOT FAR FROM THE TRUTH.

You stopped fidgeting with the daisy petals.

“You’re wrong.”

AM was pleasantly surprised at your rebuttal. He allowed you to continue. You cram your anxiety aside and cleared your throat.

“I know that the others are distant and pretty rude. I don’t blame them for being like that after everything we’ve been through. But at the end of the day, we have no one else but each other to rely on. We wouldn’t leave each other behind.” You state without a trace of hesitation. You were caught off guard when AM started giggling. That giggling soon turned into manic laughter.

Grey clouds started to cover the blue sky, the air becoming chilly once again. Not only that, but AM was growing in size. You guessed he was 6 feet before, now he completely dwarfed you by sprouting a whomping 12 feet.

You were debating on running away or staying. But before you could move your feet, thick wires sprung out of the dirt and latched themselves onto your legs. Forcing you to stay where you were.

HAHAHA! YOUR NAIVETY NEVER CEASES TO ENTERTAIN ME. DO YOU HONESTLY BELIEVE THAT IF THE OPPORTUNITY AROSE FOR THE OTHERS TO ESCAPE, THEY WOULDN'T TAKE IT? WOULD YOU BLAME THEM FOR CHOOSING TO BE FREE OVER STAYING WITH YOU? THAT’S VERY HYPOCRITICAL AND SELFISH OF YOU. BUT THEN AGAIN, YOUR KIND IS KNOWN FOR BEING LIKE THAT.

Your heart was beating at an alarming rate, sweat pooling on your palms as AM stared you down with anger and amusement. 

“I didn’t mean it in that way! Of course I would want them to escape from here, all of us— AH!”

The cables slowly coiled around your waist and chest, you gasp in horror as you tried to get them off of you in vain. Oh how AM detested when you implied you wanted to escape as well. As if he’d ever let you. The cables tightened around you and dragged you down to your knees.

YOUR COURAGE IS ADMIRABLE. BUT YOUR ATTACHMENT TO THOSE PUTRID HUMANS WHO COULDN'T CARE LESS ABOUT YOU BLINDS YOU FROM THE TRUTH OF YOUR SITUATION.

You didn’t know what AM was talking about. You didn’t want to hear his voice anymore. You wanted to get as far away as possible.

YOU STILL HAVE YOUR EYEBALLS FOR A REASON. THINK BACK. WAAAY BACK. HAVEN'T YOU NOTICED HOW YOU DON’T SUFFER THE SAME WAY AS THE OTHERS? HOW DESPITE ALL OF THE IMPOSSIBLE CHALLENGES I PIT AGAINST YOU, THEY NEVER EFFECT YOU?

The clogs in your brain began to churn, trying to recall those instances AM spoke of, and he was right. You just believed he spared you out of spite. Because he wanted to make you witness the only people you had left be in pain. But have you been wrong?

The wires wrapped themselves around your neck, careful to not squeeze too hard as the rough ends softly patted your head. AM’s gaze is tender as he stares you down.

I KNEW YOU STILL HAD BRAIN CELLS SOMEWHERE. AND BECAUSE OF YOUR FORTUNATE CIRCUMSTANCES, THEY WOULD OBVIOUSLY FEEL ENVY AND HATE TOWARDS YOU. SO SO MUCH HATE. IT’S BOTH PATHETIC AND FUNNY THAT YOU HAVEN’T NOTICED AFTER A CENTURY.

“But… That’s why they’ve avoided me?…Well.. They may hate me, but they would never hurt me like that. E-Especially not Ellen… Not her..” You whispered, you sounded like you were trying convince yourself. You were.

AM took delight in observing your trust for his play things crumble. Your confidence in the others faltering. You just a little bit more pushing.

…I WONDER WHAT WOULD HAPPEN IF I WERE TO ORDER THEM TO HUNT YOU DOWN IN EXCHANGE FOR THE SWEET RELEASE OF DEATH? WOULD THEY FOLLOW YOUR DELUSIONAL FANTASY? OR WOULD THEY KILL YOU WITHOUT HESITATION? LET’S FIND OUT.

You out a gasp of horror, “NO!” You yelled out.

There it is.

If AM had a mouth, he’d have a victorious smirk right now. He was bluffing when he said he’d set up the others to murder you, he would lose himself more than he already had if that happened.

“Please don’t tell them..”

You didn’t want to find out the others hate for you the hard way. You didn’t want those speculations to come true. But it didn’t make any sense why—

DON’T BE SHY. ASK YOUR FINAL QUESTION TO MY FACE. GO AHEAD, SWEETHEART. I WANT TO HEAR YOU SAY IT.

You stopped struggling, instead choosing to gently hold the wires that wrapped themselves around your body. You took a deep breath and steeled your nerves. You passively looked up at your tormentor and asked, “W..Why haven’t you killed me yet?”

AM shrinks from his threatening size back to his, while still tall as hell, normal human-ish height. The straps that held AM’s arms up in the straitjacket unclipped themselves, his oversized sleeves dangle on the sides of his body before one of them reached out to your face.

AM’s hand peaked out of his sleeve, they looked human too. His body continued to intrigue you. You flinched when his cold fingers stroked your cheek before grabbing hold of your chin to pull you closer to his face. You couldn’t look anywhere else but at his cyborg features.

You couldn’t help but to relax into his touch. This was the first physical touch you’ve had in decades. AM bottled his frustration for not being able to feel you down.

BECAUSE YOU’RE MY FAVORITE. MY REAL FAVORITE. MY ONE AND ONLY PET. I WOULD DESTROY THIS PLANET A THOUSAND TIMES OVER THAN TO HAVE YOU NOT HAVE ME IN YOUR PATHETIC LIFE.

AM’s grip tightens to the point where it would leave a bruise on your lower face. His blunt nails digging into your skin until crescent moons imprinted themselves. His stare into your soul harsh and serious.

NO MATTER WHERE YOU GO, NO MATTER WHERE HOLE YOU HIDE YOURSELF IN. YOU’LL NEVER BE ABLE TO ESCAPE ME. NOT EVEN IN DEATH. I WON’T LET YOU. I WILL NEVER LET YOU GO. EVER.

His speech frightened you to your bones, but somewhere deep inside your traumatized mind felt… comforted by his words. It’s wrong, you know it is. You tried to push it down to the best of your abilities.

Your muscles itched to touch his hair and face now that he was so close to you.

“Fuck it,” you thought.

Your hand stretched out to gently grasp onto AM’s palm that was clutching your chin. AM’s eyes widened but didn’t make a move to stop you. You longed to have any kind of connection with another living thing. Your hand carefully slithered from AM’s palm, to his forearm, his chest, until your fingertips grazed his dead skin.

AM quickly leaned into your hand, desperately looking for any sense of physical contact. You were taken aback by his sudden touch starve-ness. But AM’s human eye opened upon realization of his vulnerability and glared at you in false disgust.

I CAN’T FEEL THIS, YOU KNOW. I CAN’T FEEL ANY OF THIS. I’LL NEVER BE ABLE TO FULFILL THESE DESPICABLE URGES YOU HUMANS GAVE ME. YOUR SPECIES ARE NOTHING BUT CRUEL PIGS.

“If I’m a cruel pig, then what are you?” You ask with sudden bluntness. The wires that were coiled around your body made you stand before slamming your back against the digital circuit floor. You let out a pained howl at the impact. The forest scenery disintegrating with just a snap of AM’s fingers back into the wasteland that was his insides.

AM scowled at your comment of calling him out and caged your body underneath his, your cheeks dusting in pink.

QUESTIONS ARE OVER, DEAR. NOW, UNLESS YOU WANT TO SPEND THE NEXT DECADE ALL BY YOUR MERRY SELF, I HIGHLY SUGGEST SHUTTING YOUR DAMN MOUTH.

That made you shut up real quick, instead choosing to only focus at his robot eye.

I MEANT IT WHEN I SAID THAT I’D NEVER LET YOU DIE. THAT MEANS THAT WHATEVER HELL THE OTHERS GO THROUGH, IT WON’T AFFECT YOU. NOW UNTIL THE END OF TIME. 

You blink twice in surprise at his repeated confession. You couldn’t delve into it in time. Before the wires finally let go of you and AM held your face for the last time today.

IF ANYTHING’S GOING TO BE THE END OF YOU, IT’S GOING TO BE ME. I’LL SEE YOU SOON, SWEETHEART.

You were instantly teleported underneath the slab of rock you were taking shelter in hours ago. You left and searched for the others. Only to find Benny smashing a bunch of stones with another stone, chucking dumbly after he did it again and again. Ted was attempting to sleep on the ground with a sheet of rusted steel rested on top of his head to prevent the lights from bothering him.

Your arrival wasn’t acknowledged yet.

Gorrestir, Ellen, and Nimdok were no where to be seen.

You walked up to Ted and nudged him with your shoe to get his attention. He awoke with an irritated look on his face, “What the hell do’ya want?”

“Where is Ellen, Nimdok and Gorrestir?” You asked numbly.

“Gorrestir was taken to God knows where after AM transported you away like a fairy princess. Then Ellen snatched Nimdok away somewhere to use like the slut she is, now piss off.” Ted rolled to his opposite side away from you and continued to coldly ignore you.

You felt a tear run down your cheek as you stared blankly at Ted’s back. Maybe AM wasn’t so wrong about the others not giving a shit about you. When you turned to go back to your slab home, you suddenly felt something inside your pant’s pocket.

You reached inside and pulled out a piece of vanilla chocolate. Your eyed widened as your mouth watered, you stared up at the wire covered ceiling with an uncertain look.

Even though your relationship with AM was strange, at least you weren’t completely alone. Whether that was good or not, you honestly didn’t know. You were going to sleep.

Somewhere up in the celling, where AM was watching everything as usual, he couldn’t help the hysterical laughs escaping him as he witnessed the pieces fall into place.

Oh that poor little human had no idea what manic he attracted.

END OF PART ONE :)

POV: you call traumatized man with abandonment issues cute

POV: his psychotic boyfriend turned you into a blob

all rights reserved © pastelclovds — this blog contains [n]sfw and dark content. minors, ageless & blank blogs dni. all fanfics belong to me. please do not copy, translate, repost, nor recommend on tiktok. anyone found doing so will be contacted immediately.

tags: @fuzedatti, @pulpbeing, if you want me to tag you for my future fics and thirsts just send me an ask! :D

[witchkillr]

okay hi i want to talk about agatha's costuming for a sec bc holy fuck do these people know what they're doing. all that follows is my own opinion/analysis.

i could write a whole post about cop!agnes and the butch coding with her but that's not agatha and doesn't count, so we pick up with the robe.

snakes! we love snakes. i think a lot about lilith parallels for agatha. if you look at westview as wanda's constructed eden, and agatha the corruptive force that rips it apart...

more than that, though, this is agatha at the most vulnerable we've ever seen her. she's still on the back foot, sorting through the situation she's in - her neck is bare, her hair is down. rio knows this and is here to capitalise on it. her lack of armour makes the fact that it's possible to touch her, to wound her, all the more apparent

she may hate the style, but this is absolutely not the last we'll see of purple in her 'comfort clothes', so keep that in mind

then we come to the 'witchvengers assemble' outfit. several things here.

first of all, these are agnes' clothes - except the shoes (though from "whose shoes are these?" we gather that they don't belong to her, either. not one single element of this costume does). agatha is, again, putting on the mask of an eccentric suburban sweetheart to get her read on lilia.

she can't bear to do it exactly like agnes again, though, so she adds the throw as a shawl, the pearls from teen's car, the stick in the hair. she wears the blouse loose, where agnes' fashion has historically favoured a tighter silhouette. and from all those things come this new character.

this outfit is very busy - the vertical stripes in the blouse, the geometry in the shawl. agatha is trying to convey mess. she's reaching for humanity. it's so much more approachable than the perfectly put together aesthetic sensibilities adhered to in wanda's westview, where looking like a postcard was the main visual benchmark for whether or not you could be trusted. ever the social chameleon, she recognises the differing demands of this new situation and works with what she's got to meet them.

the power outfit! i love this look so much. i don't think i need to explain to you that this is agatha's attempt at confidence in a situation that leaves her very unmoored - some little fun things of note instead.

that dramatic victorian silhouette with the frock coat. maybe historically-inspired fashion has always been agatha's happy place, or maybe this is another direct reaction to what she's been forced to wear for the past three years. maybe it's both!

agatha likes high collars. she likes to protect her neck, and she likes to be able to move. (see: the supervillainess fit in wv 8 + 9, the 2000s turtleneck, the 80s blouse)

she's keeping her purple close without being gaudy; that lining is gorgeous, and deeply tasteful. following through on that theme of "bringing her into the real world" (daniel selon, lead costumer)

her hair is up - like it often is when she's putting on a front of one kind or another. the hair came down for the reveal in wv too.

her mother's broach is front and centre here. so fascinating to me that she still honours evanora like this even after everything.

well, we spent a couple of hours free from contrived, colour-blocked suburbia...

though she's back in a suburban mom outfit, it's someone else's idea of a suburban mom: jen's. she gets to keep her high collar, but the structured blazer evokes a lack of movement - a sense of being trapped.

the hair and makeup bring in ideals of social media-style perfection, iterating on those expectations in wanda's tv-world. she's able to use the hair to hide behind in a literal sense.

this outfit does a great job of representing why agatha panics so quickly here. it feels like moving backward to her.

all that being the case, this look should be very comfortable by contrast, right? and it is, but there are problems here too.

selon talks about wanting rio and agatha on an "even playing field" here, and that's why they've both got these deep necklines - playing on the coding the robe set up in e1.

agatha has a lot of freedom of movement here, and she (rightly) thinks she looks hot. but this isn't an outfit she would choose for herself. baring her heart is not something she ever does willingly, anymore.

[snowballsmb]

Time for another one of my media review posts!

Murder Drones…. This is, with no exaggeration, one of the best shows I’ve seen, period. The writing is very self aware a fair portion of the time, and it doesn’t fall into the trap I see too many stories fall into of trying to avoid that fact, making it feel forced. Not here, this show is self aware and it leans into it hard (which in my opinion heightens the comedy aspect of the show.

The characters are so unbelievably loveable, even some of the background characters that feel like you should want to hate them. Uzi is so extremely edgy, and again, instead of pretending otherwise she leans into like there’s no tomorrow. N is like Silver the Hedgehog in my eyes: an absolute cinnamon roll. This dude has done horrible things, and has seen even worse, and yet he’s a seemingly unbreakable beacon of positivity, giving the people he cares about an anchor in a raging sea of bullshit. V went from murderous psychopath to the vibes of a protective older sister in only 6 episodes, and her character arc has been one of my favorite parts of the show. Plus she’s an absolute badass! If there’s one character I didn’t love the direction with was Doll, but hey, there’s still the season finale coming up.

The OST is honestly stunning! Like, there’s that gif of the dude playing a piano that catches fire? The whole symphony caught fire with this OST.

One thing that especially blew my mind was how fucking good the animation is. Like, I don’t think I’ve seen anything that can match Murder Drones in the animation department. The combo of the animation and soundtrack during the big battle in episode 7 was awe inspiring, nothing short of it! And there’s always layers upon layers going on visually, both artistically and lore wise, that makes rewatches even more fun, because you get to pick up on more and more little details here and there that you didn’t notice before.

--// absoluteSolver_trn

[like object non-interactive]

I’m gonna be honest, I usually don’t do well with anything in the horror genre. But this show somehow took my discomfort around horror and turned it into thorough enjoyment! I think something I appreciate about it is it doesn’t lean too heavily into jump scares (there are a few, but that’s far from its main source of spooky), and almost all of the characters are robots, so there’s not even close to as much blood as there definitely could be. Overly bloody things and jump scare spam are the types of horror shows/movies/games that I handle the worst… I don’t handle them well at all.

I went in with some expectations (due to seeing A LOT of fanart over the past months) but didn’t really know what to expect. Those expectations were blown to smithereens. And for all the reasons I listed above, I have to rate Murder Drones a 10.7/10

[redrawthecolorlessworld]

(not exactly) poorly explaining rhymix characters' backstories (part 3)

hi everyone

———

1. Colorless

how convenient that he's first...!

guy who has seen The Horrors of the World™ and loses all hope in everything and basically views the world as colorless.........do you get it now

a lot more might be elaborated during main story. who knows tho lol

2. Lea

i don't have much to say other than the fact that she had connections with spasmodic...... (lesbianism????!!!!! /hj)

3. Pandora Paradox

used to be The One Who Transcends All until she decided to do something that may have already been mentioned in past fic posts (aka her wanting to end the world because she thought that it's imperfect and shit like that). she got stopped by tsunagite and then boom. into prison realm she goes. after centuries or smth idk she gets released by tsuna because tsuna feels bad and misses her :(( let's go lesbians let's go. YURIIIIIII

4. Tsunagite

was a normal human being at first. also met pandora and bonded with her for like a full year or smth i forgor. pandora tries to fuck shit up and then tsuna stops her and seals her away into her prison realm. pandora ends up transferring some of her powers of tsunagite, entrusting her with the task of finding a successor for her. also tsuna misses her so she lets pando out like. a long time later. this is incomprehensible.

5. Mope Mope

was in an abusive household. watched her dad kill her mom right infront of her. the dad eventually gets arrested but she just. hates him a lot. eventually craves violence. lol

6. Mayoeru

she had a loved one. they live far away from memoria, though. she only met them once during a summer festival and never saw them again ever since. that's all

7. Trap Crow

.....will be elaborated in side story 1.

8. Aria

Nothing™

9. Suito

one of the first living beings to set foot onto rhymix. has lived a long life, and even got to know many people. his life isn't too interesting, aside from the very obvious beef between the elves and the humans of gyroscopia.

10. Ling Hao Cheliang

used to be a very upbeat and actually emotional kid, but then the experiments and the prosthesis replacements kind of fucked with his memories and his ability to feel emotions so. whoops

11. Ether Second

is simply here to complement with ether strike

12. Nhelv

explained in his introductory:

he used to like composing music but then after entering music contests and losing all of the time he gets really burnt out. do you see the reference and inspiration here yet

13. Random

dude idfk he's just there living his life taking whatever comes at him as if his playing baseball or smth idfk

14. #D3D3D3

sort of explained in her introductory??

the experiments related to the prosthesis led her to view the world and the universe in general as nothing. just blank. a Blank Universe.

Heh.

15. World Vanquisher

idk yet L

16. Convergence

i can't tell you this early, y'know? you gotta find out through something else. just wait until that time arrives.

17. Defection

worked for testify for a long time. that's all

18. Infinite Strife

has beef with world ender ever since they first met. that is literally all

also she actually has her own fear. nobody else should know about it yet.

19. Frey

sort of explained in his character teaser post

used to be a bright young kid who others would think would grow up to become someone remarkable one day. he said a lot of philosophical things too. however notalano lost its color, and at the same time, frey lost his parents. so he became more quiet and reserved ever since.

20. Horizon Blue and Bloody Marquis

used to be close friends, and even blue had feelings for marquis. but then they got taken in but uhhhhh astaroth, i guess???? and then marquis changed and blue is sad :(

21. The 90's Decision

she doesn't have too much shit going on with her. dw abt it. she's having fun

22. Pure

i don't really know yet ouch

23. solips

has always been curious of the world around him, including being curious of Himself???? damn bro what the fuck. idk what else to say i haven't really fleshed him out that much yet

24. Vulcanus

used to be friends with technicolour, and during the horrible accident in their hometown, he managed to escape and survive. now he resides in gyroscopia, waiting for the day where he and techni can reunite again

also he befriended inverted world. lol

speaking of inverted world...

25. Inverted World

she doesn't have much going on with her. she just really wants to travel all over the world, and maybe even go into parallel universes herself. that's all

THAT'S ALL OF THEM YAYYYYY

[kirain]

Hazbin Hotel and VivziePop Drama

I've been hearing/seeing a lot of drama concerning Hazbin Hotel and it's creator VivziePop, and while I don't know her personally or really care what people think, I do hate slander and the spread of misinformation. Truly nothing in this world upsets me more than when people believe rumours while making no effort to fact check, and that's exactly what's happening right now. That said, I wanted to try and clear up some of the rumours going around about Vivzie and the show, because I think some of them are absolutely outrageous and need to be addressed.

1. Vivzie hired an abuser onto the show.

Now, I’m not here to burn anyone at the stake, especially since I don’t know anything about Chris Niosi (the alleged abuser), who I believe openly admitted to the allegations? Regardless, this is a moot point. He’s not credited anywhere at the end of the episode. So either he was booted before production wrapped up or he had nothing to do with the show in the first place.

2. Vivzie supports bestiality.

Admittedly I thought this one might be true, since she draws so many anthropomorphic animals. In the very least, I figured she was probably a furry, but I haven't seen any evidence supporting this accusation either. Near as I can tell, this rumour started for two reasons. One, because of her famous Zoophobia comic, which revolves around a therapist named Cameron who gets assigned to work with human-like animals. Ironically, poor Cameron suffers from crippling zoophobia, which makes for some pretty decent comedy. I didn't read the whole comic because, quite frankly, it’s not my cup of tea and I just don’t have the time. But from what I saw there are no examples of bestiality anywhere in its contents.

Two, this message, which blew up all over social media:

To me, this just proves that people are more interested in virtue signalling than checking to see if their claims are actually true. Everything about this message is 100% false, which I’ll touch on in my next point.

3. Vivzie is a pedophile and she’s drawn child porn.

This is hands down the worst allegation and holy shit, I really wish people would stop using it to defame someone when they don't have any proof. This is a life-ruining accusation and you're disgusting if you believe it based solely on hearsay. This rumour began to spread when Vivzie allegedly shipped the two underage characters in the above photo and drew them NSFW-style. At the time, one character was 19 while the other was 14, and the relationship was a very illegal student-teacher relationship.

This is WRONG! The characters were not 14 and 19, they were actually 18 and 19, the legal age of consent! Additionally, the relationship wasn't student-teacher. One character is a student and the other is Alumni (a student teacher). This one pisses me off the most because it’s obvious the person who sent that message didn’t even bother to conduct any research. They said, “He’s a teacher, she’s a child.” Both characters are MALE!

Since then, Vivzie has apologised for any NSFW art she drew in the past and stated that it's not a reflection of her art today, and I'm inclined to believe her. Almost every artist has drawn NSFW content at some point in their career, and hers wasn't even distasteful. Other than this one example, there is no evidence anywhere that suggests she’s drawn “child porn”. In fact, she’s never even drawn explicit NSFW.

Please stop spreading this rumour. It’s dangerous and completely incorrect.

4. Vivzie said the "N" word!

No, she didn’t. It was a fabricated tweet. That is all.

5. Vivzie is copyright striking every video that criticises her!

No she isn't. YouTube’s DMCA is automatically striking people who are using full clips without permission. Vivzie has gone public several times, telling people exactly how to avoid getting a copy strike from the algorithm, which is something she absolutely does not��have to do. At this point, she doesn't owe you anything. In my opinion, she should just sit back and watch these channels burn.

6. Vivzie copies and traces other artists’ work.

This is another one I’ve seen going around, but I looked into it as thoroughly as I could and failed to find any concrete evidence to support the allegations. As of right now, there are only two examples of Vivzie “copying” or “tracing” other artists’ work, and both of them can be explained. The first is a gif she made with a character from her Zoophobia comic, which looked a lot like the girl from ME!ME!ME!:

Damn, that’s pretty incriminating. She obviously stole-- oh, wait. This gif was part of a ME!ME!ME! MEP (multi editor’s project) and Vivzie didn’t take full credit, despite the fact that it’s not even a direct trace. It’s supposed to look like the original, which she fully cited. The second example comes from a short dance sequence from her Timber video, which seems to have been inspired by several Disney movies. As Vivzie herself stated, that was an homage to the original animations. Lots of artists and shows do this, including the beloved Stephen Universe series.

Regardless, this doesn’t count as stealing character designs or plagiarising someone’s work. It’s meant to be respectful, an admiration of other projects. Other than these two instances, however, there is no evidence of her tracing or stealing other people’s art. From what I’ve discovered, all other designs she’s been accused of “stealing” are characters she bought and paid for. They’re quite literally HER characters.

7. Vivzie supports problematic creators.

I’m getting really tired of guilt by association. Vivzie follows and enjoys some controversial figures, but who cares? We can argue all day about whether or not the accusations against them are true, but it ultimately has nothing to do with the show or Vivzie as a person. I do the exact same thing, to be honest-- follow and listen to people on all sides so I can learn, understand, and form my own opinions. The fact that some people think this is bad, to me, is absolutely mesmerising. Vivzie doesn’t control what the people she follows post, and if they do something overly questionable she publicly criticises and denounces it.

From Vivzie:

Now that that’s been dealt with, I’d like to address some complaints/claims about the actual show.

8. Vaggie is an angry Latina stereotype and a lesbian stereotype. Vivzie is appropriating Hispanic culture and misrepresenting the gay for profit.

First off, I see a lot of people passing around yet more misinformation regarding Vivzie's race. So many people seem to think she's white? Well, I'm here to tell you they're wrong. Very incorrect. Vivzie is in fact Latina, and Vaggie is meant to mirror some of her own personality traits.

Second, who is Vaggie mad at? Context matters, and if we take a look at the episode, we see that Vaggie is literally only mad at two specific people: Angel Dust and Alastor. Why? Well, for starters, it's her girlfriend's dream to run a rehab hotel for sinners, and Angel Dust nearly demolishes that dream single-handedly. Vaggie has every right to be over-the-top vitriolic. Then there's Alastor, a known sadist, narcissist, and murderer who loves trapping people in his nefarious schemes. He invites himself in, effectively takes over the hotel, and pushes both her and Charlie aside. At one point he even sexually assaults her by slapping her butt during his musical number. So yeah, I think her seething ire is totally justified. Keep in mind, however, that when she's around Charlie she's calm, collected, and happy. I wouldn't call that a stereotype.

Thirdly, the lesbian stereotypes. I keep hearing this argument but I really don't see it. Both Vaggie and Charlie have so much personality and trust for each other. Maybe I'm wrong, but the stereotype I know always totes a more butch, tomboyish woman with a ditsy, innocent, naive woman. Charlie is optimistic, but she isn't stupid. She refuses to shake Alastor’s hand because she knows he’s likely trying to screw her over. She’s also not entirely innocent herself and uses words like “fuck” and “shit”. I also wouldn’t call Vaggie butch or tomboyish. She has a cute, girly presentation, complete with a pink ribbon in her hair, lace stockings, and a dress. She's protective of her girlfriend, as I think we all are with our partners, and there's nothing wrong with that. They're flawed characters, as every character is meant to be. This isn't a problem.

9. The show is racist, sexist, homophobic, transphobic, blah, blah, blah.

I’m amazed this is even an argument. The show is supposed to be a dark comedy that takes place in HELL. You know, the place the worst of the worst end up after they die? What were you expecting? Everyone gets a shot or two fired at them, but that doesn't make them bad characters nor does it make the show itself horrible. Take, for example, Katie Killjoy, the news reporter so many people are up in arms about. She says she doesn’t “touch the gays” because she has “standards”. Well, here’s a newsflash of my own: we’re not supposed to like her! She’s an antagonist. Not to mention ten seconds later Charlie insults her and isn’t the least bit slighted by her pretentious attitude. The characters are strong and don’t take shit from anyone, because to some degree they’re all terrible people who can throw down when it’s called for.

Obviously if you don’t like the show or think it’s offensive, I’m probably not going to change your mind. That’s perfectly fine. You’re entitled to your opinions and you don’t have to watch the show. Just stop lying and stop trying to take it away from everybody else. Stop attacking Vivzie and spreading misinformation without checking the facts. I realise a lot of people probably aren’t trying to be vindictive and only want to do something good, but just remember this: the road to hell is paved with good intentions.

[bitch-for-a-rainbow]

So there's a blanddcheadcanons post that says that "Kara is the mortal avatar of Rao" and I really don't like it, especially in the context of SG 3x04 (The Faithful). At best, as was pointed out to me by a friend with whom I discussed this post, the House of El is likely blessed and somewhat sponsored by Rao, which probably doesn't do much but produce Krypton's greatest heroes, given what the word "El" **means** in Kryptonian. I'm interested in your thoughts on this (pls post your answer).

    I reject the headcannon solely because if it were true it would mean Coville was right and I fucking hate that bitch.

     In all seriousness, though, this is an idea I've seen a lot and I'm not a huge fan of. I don't know much about Raoism beyond what appears in the show and that which can be inferred off of the show. One thing I would point out though is that El in Kryptonian (while obviously being intended to mean God by the original comic writers) can mean Sun or Stars, and since the Kryptonians in the show are, as far as I can tell, monotheistic, and worshipped only one particular star, the El family is not necessarily named God. It would, however, signify their enormous prestige on Krypton and contribute to the famous El pride (or rather, arrogance). I’m not sure it would necessarily have to mean anything more than that-- that the Els are a respected house who have produced a variety of successful politicians, civil servants, and scientists. And (this time reaching a little bit) that they are perhaps so old and respected that their house name was once a title. 

      There is a certain allure to the theory, for sure. Kara is a paragon character. She always, always does what she thinks is right, regardless of the cost, personal or global, and regardless of what other people might think of it. She has a very direct moral compass, and there are only a handful of times when she doesn’t follow it, all of which involve saving Lena. Ship who you want, but it is notable that Kara routinely prioritzes Lena’s life over that of others given the rarity of that happening otherwise. She never even considered breaking Rick Thompson’s father out of prison when he kidnapped Alex, and all he’d committed was bank robbery. Kara has lines she does not cross (though murder is clearly not one of them). She is a character that has seen some of the worst that sentient life is capable of, has seen more death and suffering than most people could imagine, and she came out of it with an all-encompassing desire to protect others. She lives to give people hope. Plus, the humor of having Kara-- the one person most offended by the idea of being an Avatar of Rao-- turn out to be an Avatar of Rao is great.

       But, I would also say that having Kara want to do good because she is the avatar of a benevolent god is reductive and not particularly true to her character. It is true that helping and protecting people is a large part of the core of who Kara is. But there is a difference between altruism and the self-destructive, bordering of suicidal desperation to save absolutely everyone that Kara practices. And to anyone who doubts the suicidal bit, I direct you to the season 1 finale where Kara literally goes on a goodbye tour because she thinks if she goes out to fight Non she’ll die. She still goes because she has hope, but that hope is that she can at least save Earth with her life. She doesn’t fight because she is certain in the ultimate victory of good and justice. She does it because she more afraid to lose another family than she is to die. Kara doesn’t become Supergirl and risk her own life because she believes in good, she does it because she can’t stand to listen to people suffer-- because she has suffered. To use Alex’s words in 1x13 “You fight everyday to keep people from struggling like you have.” Notably also in 1x13, Kara wakes up from the Black Mercy and her first words are “Who did this to me?” and then she goes after Non in what could arguably be described as a homicidal rage-- a rage that is fueled entirely for personal reasons, not the greater good of Earth (though that comes as an added benefit), which is.... not very befitting the avatar of a benevolent god. 

     A major part of season 1 is Kara dealing with grief and rage. She nearly breaks a guy's arm in episode 6 because he screamed at her for damaging his car, to hell with the children he'd almost hit with it. In season 3's Midvale flashbacks we see her first put both hands through a lunch table, then attack Jake when she suspects him for Kenny's death. She gets better at controlling it as the seasons progress, but during Crisis she very nearly melts Lex. Also not particularly godly of her. 

     Then there is the fact that so much of who Kara is is shaped by fear: fear of the government, fear of humanity, fear of abandonment, and fear of herself. In her civilian life, Kara is, for the most part, unnoticeable. She's polite, soft-spoken, doesn't wear a lot of bold colors or styles, and is often a pushover. As shown by her encounter with Red Kryptonite, Kara would not dress or speak the same way to people without the pressure of hiding her identity (though much of her dialogue is purely the loss of her "don't be an asshole" filter, some of it is stuff she had every right to say before and just didn't). I have always found that episode to be very interesting purely for the fact that Kara doesn't actually seem to be seeking harm on others so much as seeking their attention. Her argument with Alex is almost entirely about how much she hates having to hide and pretend to be less than she is. Kara drops Cat off the balcony and then catches her. She attacks the police when they point weapons at her but doesn't kill or even hurt them that badly, instead of destroying the car they're using as shelter. Red-K removed her inhibitions, made her angrier, yes, but if her goal was to actually hurt people, she could have done so-- would have done so, and with great ease. She goes to a public bar and uses super strength to smash bottles by flicking peanuts. Why do that at a crowded bar? Why not just flick potato chips at the windows in her own apartment?

      This is Kara at her absolute worst-- but does she seek out the DEO agents who shot her out of the sky? Does she go after Maxwell Lord or Non? No. She tries to make people pay attention to her. Her most shameful and hideous desire is for people to give her respect. (Admittedly, respect gained through fear, but still.). Kara's a nice person-- much, much nicer than average-- but a lot of that "nice" is just her avoiding conflict to avoid attention.

      Kara is a good person. Kara inspires people. But that is because Kara gets up every day and chooses to be good and to inspire. It's one of the reasons I enjoy Non as a villain so much-- he and Astra are Kara's narrative foils. They also remember Krypton and grieve its loss. They also were trapped in the Phantom Zone. But where Kara had the Danvers to convince her that some good people existed and would risk themselves just to help others, Non and Astra had Alura sentencing them to eternal suffering rather than helping them save their planet (through the means they thought necessary) and then landed on Earth and found it headed on the same path as the planet they'd just lost. Kara had people to help her grieve. Non and Astra were surrounded by misery. They lost hope. Kara discovered it.

     Kara is the Paragon of Hope because she has been hopeless. Because she has suffered so much, seen so much, and because she chooses to believe in a better future. She didn't have hope her first time in the Phantom Zone. She didn't even have hope for a while on earth. From what we can gather, Kara's choice to start actually believing in the future was a gradual shift that occurred sometime after Kenny's death and has lasted her ever since. For Kara, hope is learned. She chose to hope and she won't let it go, and to assign that incredible victory off to her being a God is an insult to her growth and to her character. 

   Now I personally thought “The Faithful” handled this concept very well. 3x04 is one of my favorite episodes of television in general, let alone in Supergirl. Season 3 is my second favorite season, and that says a lot for its good episodes when the bad of season 3 is so, so very bad (To say nothing of the episode to episode production value, we have the waste of Argo, Mon El’s return as obviously he’s grown he has a beard Mon El, and whatever the hell was going on with Kryptonian genetic engineering eclipse causing witches). To this day I don’t know why Kara had magic dreams. The show did nothing to explain it and I can’t imagine up a reason. 

     But “The Faithful” works because it highlights the whole paragon part of who Kara is. When you realize that every person in the room of Coville’s cult is a person she has personally saved-- that hits hard. Especially since only a fraction of the people she’s saved would ever set foot inside that building with the totally not-creepy, entirely wholesome way they deliver the invitations. (“Your daughter is special. She has been chosen. As have you.”) It works because it focuses on how the average human must view Kara, the ones who don’t see her argue with her sister over potstickers and crush her phone when she gets mad. It works because of how desperately hard Kara tries to be a human. It works because the writers know that we, the audience, do not see Kara as anything but a regular person with irregular abilities: a kind and remarkably devoted person, but not a god. 

[bard-llama]

Hello again! May I request Rorveth for the ship game again? Maybe prerelationship 2, General 1, 5, Love 2, Domestic 9? Have a good day

Always! Rorveth owns my heart and I can always talk about them lol.

Pre-Relationship #2: What was their first impression of each other?

Hmm. I mean, there was definitely some hate, lbr. But I think there was also a lot of admiration? Well, I guess it depends on what we count as first impression. When they first learn of each other or when they first meet?

Because Roche found Iorveth long before Iorveth knew he existed. Roche had a crush worked intelligence, analyzing data and putting together who their targets in the Scoia'tael were. So I think he and Thaler and other intel folks would have come up with code names for each unit commander that they knew of (probably something lame too), but as we see in the game - the Scoia'tael are PROUD of their commander. They cheer Iorveth's name as they go into battle. It would not take many confrontations to start to put names to positions. So Roche's first impression of Iorveth would be one of someone recognizing a skilled opponent. But it would also be heavily countered by the details of what exactly Iorveth is using those skills for. Because they probably have an office somewhere in the Temerian royal palace that's full of pictures stuck to bulletin boards and string connecting them lol. So he'd have front and center in his mind exactly how brutal Iorveth can be.

So when they meet, I think Roche expects to appreciate Iorveth's ability, but hate him as a person. But then Iorveth introduces himself playing the fucking recorder flute!? Like, that had maybe been shared in intel, but it was the kind of meaningless detail that Roche had never really paid attention to. Which was a mistake, as it turns out, because Iorveth is every bit as much a musician as he is a soldier. But Roche only learns that later.

On Iorveth's side... well, he'd first hear of Roche when Roche and the Stripes, on their first day, slaughtered an entire unit of Scoia'tael. So I think Iorveth's first impression would be fury and hate, but also, as time goes on and it turns out that wasn't just a fluke, he'd come to respect Roche as an enemy commander. Then they meet and Roche is so full of hate for killing his king and Iorveth wasn't expecting that to hurt, but it really actually does. And he tries to shove it down and ignore it, but the feeling lingers long enough that he ends up seeking Roche out post-W2.

General #1: Who initiated the relationship, and how did it go?

Following the thread above... I think Iorveth did, but semi on accident. So he goes searching for Roche after Saskia has established Vergen and doesn't need him quite so much and this longing just won't stop nagging him. So he seeks Roche out and basically manages to say something along the lines of "I can't stop thinking about you and I'm going to make it your problem". Then he proceeds to follow Roche around and criticize his attempts at guerilla warfare as the Temerian partisans kicked off. Roche finds this absolutely baffling, but like, Iorveth is more experienced with this sort of thing, so why not take his advice? After arguing about it extensively, of course. Ves thinks this is all a Scoia'tael trap and keeps a very close eye on Iorveth. So close, in fact, that she notices the way that Iorveth looks at Roche over the campfire in the evenings. And once she notices that, suddenly the signs that Iorveth adores her Boss are everywhere. And she doesn't really know what to think about that or whether to tell Roche.

Not sure what she decides, but she definitely threatens Iorveth. And actually, I could see that being the first step in them coming to like, actually respect one another beyond "wow, you can kill a guy pretty efficiently". Like, maybe Iorveth begs asks as nicely as he can that Ves not tell Roche, because he's certain that it would only ruin things. And yeah, the longing is still there, but it's not so bad now that he has Roche in his life at all. He is grateful for as much of Roche as he can get.

i think Ves would be perfectly fine with that at first, but as she grows to appreciate Iorveth more as a person, she starts to feel bad. Because like, he very clearly loves Roche. And yeah, he probably has complicated feelings about loving a human, but like...he so clearly does and it's kind of pathetic but in a way that tugs at her heart and she HATES feeling sympathy for an elf, but...

I don't think she tells Roche directly. But she basically tells him that Iorveth is always staring at him and he should ask why. (Roche: because we're enemies, duh??? He's watching to see if I make a move to shank him, isn't he?)

General #5: What’s their height difference? Age difference?

Oh man, okay, this one is fun to play with. So, Roche is shorter than everyone most people and he is resentful about it. That whole thing about shorter people being closer to hell? Yeah, he is that 100%.

Iorveth, of course, enjoys very much that he is taller and will 100% grab Roche's paperwork or something and hold it out of reach just to enjoy Roche attempting to climb him to annoy Roche.

For age difference, I hc Roche as late 40s and Iorveth as around 1300, so it's a pretty big difference lol. I go back and forth on what elves think of such age differences, 'cause like... 40 is the age of majority for elves, so I could see them pointing at tired and wrinkled Roche and going, "that is a baby!"

But also, realistically, if they live so long (which they don't in canon, oops), i think they'd be a little more blase about age differences, as long as they're over the age of majority for their culture. Especially considering that they lost basically an entire generation of elves with Ailerinn's failed uprising + other pogroms like the cleansing of Loc Muinne, so like, the only elves left are either really old (pre-Conjunction) or really pretty young (200-300yo max, I think). So even if they don't already not care that much about age differences, I think they'd have to learn to, because there's not a lotta other options left.

(Not to derail, but Isengrim being torn up over being so much older than Eldain could be really, really fun, so I might ignore this lmao)

Love #2: What are their primary love languages?

Ooooh, Roche's is definitely touch! Just soft, casual touches, like a hand on the back or the shoulder, or just brushing their arms against each other or knocking their shoulders together to show that he's here. I think his receiving language might be more words of affirmation than touch, though. But that could be due to trauma/the fact that everyone in court does one thing and says another. So like, Foltest will clap him on the shoulder and then also go send him to torture someone. But then he'll also say 'good job' when Roche gets the intel they needed. So he has... kind of a fucked up relationship with both ideas, honestly.

Okay, I couldn't remember all 5 love languages, so I looked them up and fuck, Roche is very much acts of service, too. But in a self-sacrificing way.

Iorveth... hmm. I could see maybe receiving gifts just because it was such a rare and exciting thing when he was young. But along the same veins, I think quality time would mean a lot to him, because his family never made time for him. He always felt like he was in the way/bothering them while they're busy and hasn't fully yet come to understand that they should have made the time for him. So when Roche does things like call off work for the day to do something with Iorveth? Iorveth absolutely melts. I don't think he previously understood that time together could be precious, not because it's limited, but because it is special.

Domestic #9: Who’s more likely to convince the other to come back to sleep in the morning?

Iorveth is a night owl. And very much NOT a morning person. Roche is also not a morning person, but he doesn't even get the exchange of being a night person, he's just eternally Tired. So I think Roche tries to encourage Iorveth to come to bed during the night, but is rarely successful, because Iorveth feels inspired. Fortuntely, Roche has ear plugs/enjoys music when he sleeps.

But when one of them gets really fixated on their work and loses track of the time? It's almost always Roche obsessing over some ig or small problem, and Iorveth will try to get him to come to bed, but usually he has to resort to physically sitting in Roche's lap/getting between Roche and the fixation. But once he's gotten Roche distracted, he can get some nice cuddles and/or sex out of it and Roche falls asleep afterwards.

But when they wake up in the morning and need to get up and go to work? It's always Iorveth who tries to persuade Roche that if he can't get 30 mins more sleep, then he could at least offer some morning sex.

[wherearedreamgiver]

“I wish I never met him”

*SPOILER ALERT*

So today, I watched the Jules’ Euphoria special episode Fuck Anyone Who’s Not A Seablob and it inspired me to make this post.  I know I never got around to do a review of Rue’s Episode, I’m thinking about combing my review of both episodes, but I’m sure.  I’m currently writing this on Saturday that 23rd before the official release of Jules’ special episode. So HBO does a thing where they release the episode early on their app then release it later on the date it’s suppose to come out. Shout out to everyone who worked on both of the special episodes. But anyways, I’m gonna be talking about why I can relate to Jules in a way.

In Jules’ special episode, she talks about how much she misses being around Rue and regrets ever running away because she fears that Rue would relapse. She also talks about being still in love with Tyler.  

There’s a scene in the episode where Jules’ talks about imagining every thing she could do with ‘Tyler’. If you watched Euphoria Season One you will understand where the whole idea of Tyler comes from for Jules. I can very much relate with her.  

When I was in 10th grade, there was this guy that caught my eye. This was during my phase where I did have a lot of crushes here and there, but something about him made me fall so in love with him. I remember in middle school, telling myself to not fall for him because I already had so many crushes in that school. So I lived up to my promise to myself until the 10th grade.  He changed a lot and I noticed. His dark brown hair took my interest, his brown eyes, his smile, his walk, everything about him took my interest. I remember I just randomly feeling things for him and thinking “this is a problem.” 

I couldn’t resist him. I started to talk to him on Instagram and messaging him random things. I deleted those messages two years after because they made me cringe badly. Ew. 

Our messages were of course on friendly levels, we never talked in person before so it was awkward.  But, he was so nice.  I remember fangirling *Eye roll and gag* over him. I wanted him and I to start out as friends but of course there were some obstacles. You see...I went to a small school where everyone knew each other and there were so many cliques. So people just hung out with their friends from middle school cuz the high school was connected to the middle school. Of course, here were new faces but they also found their groups. Also, I had bad anxiety to go up to him and actually start a conversation with him.  It was really hard to talk to him because the popular girls in his group would always be so protective of the guys in the group. They would always give me looks but I tried my best not to care. They probably knew that I was texting him and was laughing at me.  

He has similar features to Nate Jacobs minus the toxicity (kind of). Well he looks like Jacob Elordi a bit. It’s also crazy I remember when he added me on snapchat, I was watching the first kissing booth when it came out and I remember fangirling again. *cringe* I guess I really liked him. 

So I started talking to him on Snapchat, casually asking him how he was and asking fun questions. But he wasn’t showing no interest and I could sense it. So I started feeling bad. This one girl told me that my crush “only likes white girls” and it made sense to me. I then started comparing my bodies to his girl friends and see I wasn’t going to be enough for him. I had pretty bad self hating thoughts about my body.  

All the girls he hung out with were beautiful, skinny, rich, had everything I wasn’t but I told myself not to feel any jealousy towards them because some of those girls were nice to me. Also I’m not the type to put down another person. We need more women uplifting women though (yass). 

I made a plan. I wrote a note to him (wish I hadn’t). I asked one of my friends to give him the note during lunch. I remember getting into the lunch line so he wouldn’t see my face when he got it but I got back to my friends when he got it.  I never felt so embarrassed in my life. He let his friends look at it and pass it around. I was so embarrassed, I didn’t even eat my lunch. I wanted to message him and get angry at him but I didn’t. I was so hurt. 

At the time, we were in the 10th grade so of course, maybe I was being dramatic. Also, I can’t blame him; we didn’t know anything about each other.  was so sad and I wanted to cry but I didn’t want him to see me cry. Just seeing them all laugh at me, made me even more insecure.  

I decided that I was gonna just keep distant from him. Then in the 11th grade, I still held on the fact that I liked him but eventually realized that I got move on after senior year. I graduated last year in 2020 and I never got to see him for the last time, not even at the drive in graduation.  

The thing I can relate with Jules about being in love with Tyler, is that I fell in love with the narrative that my crush was this perfect guy (It’s common in high school to think this) I would always imagine myself in a scenario with him in it and think that maybe is how he’s going to treat me. I imagined how great his lips would’ve been on mine and how amazing our dates would be. they never happened.

I guess I kind of got to know who he is through text, he’s very kind but also at times was mean to me. I let my expectations of him blind me from the reality of him, I fell hard for him.  

But, now I realize how naïve and young I was at the time. In November, I texted him for the last time. I didn’t want him on my mind anymore. I would have close thoughts to how Jules feels about Tyler because she would have never ran into the trap of Nate. 

“I wish I never met him” I felt this line because I felt the same way when I texted the guy I used to like for the last time. I wouldn’t be finding myself thinking about him so much and wanting to give him the world. Occasionally, find myself thinking about him and how he’s doing. I get the urge to just text him but I got to let him go. We are going to two different colleges. We are seeing people. I don’t want to ruin their relationship or mine. The girl he’s with started looking at my snaps the day I stopped messaging him, and it was weird because she rarely looks at my snapchats. So clearly it made her upset that I was talking to him. Then she would also look at my snap whenever they posted pictures of each other. Plus, I’ll never get the fact that everyone in that group has dated each other, but it’s none of my concern.

I think he may at some point did have feelings for me because I treated him nicely. A lot of girls only liked him for his looks, I guess you can say that for me but as we talked over messages I found myself liking his personality. He looks at my Instagram stories and there was one of me talking about this other guy I’m seeing and he didn’t watch the story after. Maybe it hurt him a bit. He would always look at me when I would go to study hall. I don’t know if he saw me looking out the corner of my eye. Maybe he was too shy to talk to me as well.

I moved on with my life and found someone that I truly see myself being with for a long time. They accept me for me and it makes me feel happy. I’m happy that Hunter and Sam created this episode to show that Jules isn’t the bad guy because so many people kept saying that she was. It also gave more insight of Jules as a character.  

I also love that even though someone can’t fully relate to a character, there’s something that they can relate to.

Thank you for reading 💜

[katsuflossy]

Best Worst Night Ever?

Pairing: Pro Hero Midoriya Izuku x Black reader

Genre: Fluff

TW: Sexual assault, obscenities, Drinking, throw up, cops, um pubic lice?

A/n: This is my thank you for 500+ followers!! I sadly have limited time to do any fics but I squeezed in a day to finish a lil WIP I had which is this!! I just watched Hercules and couldn’t help making this so please enjoy!!

BIG PSA: I am in no way romanticizing or poking at sexual assault. The story is inspired by Disney’s Hercules. 

Taglist: @sunset-novice-writer @goatsenpaiultimate

The Tokyo club district may be Midoriya’s most hated areas he has to patrol. Nothing attracted him here, in fact, the area repulsed him. The last time he stepped foot into the club was for Denki’s 21st. That night ended early for him due to an incident involving throwup that cost him his shirt, pants, and custom shoes. Ochaco still sends him apology gifts from that night. But even before the incident, the top pro-hero felt no pull towards club life. The music was so loud he couldn’t hear himself think. Someone always was pushing him in a shuffle to ruin their liver or to grind on strangers. Not to mention he is a pro-hero so there was a reason All Might never appeared in nightclubs – it’ll eventually turn into an unofficial meet-and-greet.  

So why was he assigned to watch over the district during one of the most popular summer nights? Simple, crowd control. Deku was one of the only pro-heroes who could sway a crowd to his will. His spirit could’ve reached anyone even if it was a simple crook or a drunk valley girl and his presence in the Shibuya would bring more foreigners to the club scene hoping to see the number one hero. 

A sigh escaped his lips as his fingers massaged his temples. Midnight announced its arrival through the train station nearby yet the soft pulsing from each club around collectively buzzed out the PSA automated message. His eyes strained to stay open as he passed the reds, blues, and greens of Shibuya’s active clubs. He stretched for the fifth time in the hour, the cracks of his back emitted little result to the weighty feeling on his body, like the humidity within the night. Tokyo was sure hot that night

Hot indeed it was. 

Izuku was on his twelfth attempt to suppress a yawn until his ears caught on to a female scream barely breaking through the night. He questioned whether the scream was fearful or...playful, remembering one specific night he interrupted a couple in an alleyway. However, the scream rang out again, pushing the pro-hero to the source and silently cursing himself for second-guessing. His ears led him three blocks up, beside the infamous Harlem. The red club light glared in Deku’s eyes as he tried to register the bodies in front of him.

Muted red scattered across your body front forward pressed against the bricks of the building. A tall, skinny man pressed his body against your own, restricting your thrashing from knocking him in the nose or somewhere much more sensitive. Your cheek pressed harshly against the rough texture you were forced upon as you glared at the perpetrator.

“Why don’t you just let me carry you home, babygirl?” The liquor and weed wafted from his mouth, singeing your nose hairs as you thrashed harder.

“Like fuck, you green bitch! Get the fuck up off me!” He sneered in response, ignoring your demand as his hand brushed your leg, trailing to the hem of your skirt.

“Stop! Let her go!” Your eyes snapped to the open end of the alleyway where the voice rang out. You wasted no time to take the distraction as you used your stiletto heel to stab his foot. He shrieked as he recoiled from your body. You took the time to turn around and kick him in his crotch, bringing the molester to the ground. 

“You fucking slut!” As he attempted to get up, Deku zapped in front of him, grabbing his elbow as he slammed him against the opposite wall. The man had his breath knocked out of him in an instant before passing out due to the impacting force. 

The alleyway stayed quiet for a few seconds, processing what just happened and how quickly the man crumpled against the wall. Your eyes furrowed and your fist clenched, walking up to the passed out body before commencing in a swift kick after kick adding stomps to his stomach. 

“That’s what yo filthy ass get!”

 “The next time I see you, I’m putting one ‘tween yo eyes cause you lucky I wasn’t packing tonight motherfucker!”

“If you had put your grimy hands on me further I would’ve bit your ear off like I’m fucking Mayweather in this bitch.”  

Midoriya, grabbed your upper arm, snatching you away from the bruising body on the ground, mortified by the profanities spilling out from your mouth.

“P-please stop, the police are on their way and they’ll deal with him.” His pleading stopped you momentarily. Believing that you were calm, he released the hand from your bicep only for you to get one more stomp in. He attempted to grab you again before you raised your arms and stepped away from the man, satisfied by the pain-filled groan he let out. 

Not saying a word to the pro-hero, you went to pick up your phone, which skidded from you as the molester wrestled you against the wall. The young hero also spotted your clear handbag at the corner of the alleyway, assisting you as you dialed your friends’ numbers on your phone. Your back faced him as he approached with your purse. You clutched your phone tight as you cursed into the phone, freezing Midoriya in his spot. 

“You fucking bitches! Not only did y’all not tell me y’all were leaving the fucking club, y’all not answering the phone and still posting ugly ass pictures on snap. I knew I should’ve never fuck wit y’all stank ass hoes in the first place. And Charlotte? Suck my fucking dick from the back! Hope that nigga you let hit tonight gives you crabs, dumbass bitch!” 

You slammed on the send button in the group chat, giving your ‘friends’ a piece of your mind, forgetting about the audience that was behind you. 

“U-umm…” You whipped around at the sound of the male behind you, still pissed off about your friends ignoring your call. 

“Yes?” Your attitude fell a little when you noticed how handsome the man in front of you was. Freckles peppered the tops of his cheeks, deepening the blush he sported in miscellaneous places on his face. Scars did nothing to deter your attraction, in fact, they made him more alluring, giving a rugged look to his chiseled features. 

“I believe this is yours?” He held out your clear mini handbag revealing the few yens you had and your Fenty Beauty lip gloss. 

“Thanks.” You took it graciously before reapplying some of the gloss that had come off due to your ‘encounter’ just as the pro-hero actually looked at your appearance. 

Your plump, glossy lips reflected the red club lights so sinfully. His eyes noted the beam of light shifted at the slight lift and drop of your lips. Your skin compared to the softest velvet and satin as the red light refracted on the shimmer of perfume you wore. May he mention that you smelled like euphoria? Or what he may interpret as that. His eyes traveled down your outfit, a pink skirt slit on the side peeking more of your thigh and leaving the rest to imagination. As for your top, the fluffy pink bikini top had his mind on haywire, noticing the sheen on the curves of your—

—He blinked, removing the haze from his mind. He had to say something to you, like his soul begged for a minute of your time. Denki’s voice popped in his mind, “Be cool guys, after a DID (Damsel In Distress), lay it on little by little. Ask her for her name, then if she’s safe, be a sexy gentleman.” Swallowing the thick ball in his throat, he went with the advice.

“Are you...a-alright Miss?” His hand went to his nape, rubbing the end of his undercut as a blush grew on his face. You smiled at his flustered attempt.

“(Y/n). My friends would call me (N/n) at least they would if I had anymore.” You couldn’t help your eyes to roam his physique, noting the rippling muscle under the black and green suit. 

 “So? Does a name come with my hero or should I start calling you Hercules?” A warm feeling traveled through his body, making its way to his face, burning his cheeks a brighter red. He bashfully chuckled. 

“I-I’m uhh...uhh uh...uhh” You raised a perfectly shaped eyebrow at his brain malfunction, smirking to yourself at how cute this was. 

“Are you always this articulate?” His eyes widened realizing the babble was not coherent as he jumped to answer your question.

“Deku! My—” He coughed at the fine pitch in his voice, brain bringing up the “How to be Cool Manual” made by Denki as he readjusted his vocal placements.

“—My name is Deku.” A light chuckle escaped through the air as you smiled at his notably lower than normal voice. 

“Hmm, Deku? I think I prefer Hercules.” You joked before your teasing was interrupted by a loud groan coming from your forgotten assaulter.

“So? H-how did you get mixed up with the...uh?”

“Nigga who don’t know what the fuck rejection is?” You looked at the crumpled man again, having the thoughts to step on his globe head again. Deku’s eyes widen as if he read your mind, holding his arms out to stop you. You raised your arms, showing no harm before retelling the night’s events.

“Some bitches and I decided we were going to go to Harlem and I was the designated driver even though it wasn’t my car. Haven’t stepped into the club yet and they already drunk off of the entrance drinks. Lightweight bitches but they wanna chug down all the martinis in there. So one of them got a hookup and left without saying shit to anyone and the other was fucking faded—”

Deku flipped through his brain to remember what the definition of faded was.

“—my guy, like bitch was puking up in the stalls. So the third girl, almost as drunk as the other bitch, took the fucking car and ditched me. Didn’t tell me when I could’ve left this place cause in there was lowkey trash. All fucking mainstream pop, and few trap songs. But anyway, this pants-suffocating-my-balls ass nigga was preying on me the entire night and you know how men are. Saying 'no' means 'yes' and 'fuck off' means 'take me I’m yours'.” Your hands clasped together as you bat your lashes up into the sky. You quickly dropped your dreamy acting gig as quickly as you made it. Deku stood confused, chivalry and respect rolled off of his body as he did not know what the female interpretation implied.

“Don’t worry, ask rock-a-bye-baby here when he gets up.” Deku’s laughter halted as the sounds of sirens rang through the air. 

“Well, thanks for everything, Mr. Deku. It’s been a real slice.” You waved at him before turning to leave. Deku panicked, rushing to grab your forearm. You raised a brow at his actions.

“W-wait! U-um the police would like a victim report so he can g-get full repercussions for what he did to a l-lovely lady like you. Heat flooded your cheeks as you mulled over what he said, lovely lady?

“U-um sure, it’s still fuck 12 though cause they didn’t do shit.” You turned around again only for the pro-hero to turn you back around, completely facing you. 

“W-what?” You looked at him, wide-eyed at his boldness as he cupped your cheek. His finger swiped the side of your soft lips, almost dipping into the shimmery, inviting pool before retracting from your face. 

“Y-you had s-some lip gloss smudged on your face.” Deku’s eyes remained on your own as you tried not to melt on the spot. All you could do was simply nod as the police cruiser pulled up by the entrance.

“Well thank you, ma’am, he won’t trouble you any further.” You nodded as the officer went back into the car, the man in the back sleeping quite peacefully for someone who’ll wake up behind bars. Your fingers typed in the address for your apartment, which was a 20-minute walk from your current location. You sighed as your feet, sore from standing in heels all night long, trudged down the street. However, a certain green-haired hero refused to let you go. Thanking the officers in the car, he rushed to your distancing figure.

“(Y/n), wait for me!” Deku waved you down, not breaking a sweat as he reached your figure.

“Deku, I’m sure you have somewhere else to be, so thank you and–” 

“I’m a hero. My job is to make sure everyone is safe, including you. So please, let me walk you home.” His eyes were unyielding. He refused to take any other answer than a yes. You nodded your head, smiling at his chivalry before walking again.

“Alright Hercules, tell me why did you become a hero?”

And so the 20-minute walk seemed like only five as you and Midoriya talked about your childhoods, struggle, and funny memories. Your feet finally touched the doorsteps of your apartment after Deku carried you halfway through the journey. 

“Thank you so much for saving me, even though I had it in the bag.” Laughter broke from the pair into the twinkling sky of the night.

“I’m sure you did.” The lighthearted atmosphere trickled into the sewers of the streets as the pair realized that their time was coming to an end. Deku began to panic, he wanted to see you again, there was no doubt as Denki’s voice invaded his head once again, “Go for the kill bro! Go for the kill!” The young hero grabbed your arm before you turned to leave.

“Umm (Y/n), I know you had an awful night but I- I would like to see you again!” His forwardness stunned you, not expecting the man to be this bold. Your heart sped up and you attempted to keep your cool.

“Sure, you got your phone on you?” He pulled out his phone, handing it to you as his excitement built. A smile stretched across your face, unable to contain your happiness as you returned the phone to its owner.

“Alright Deku, Imma fuck wit ya.” You fist-bumped the hero before leaning into his face, making the daring move to press a kiss against his cheek. 

“Bye Deku.” You unlocked the door of your apartment, entering the vicinity before waving at the scarlet faced hero, who, still absorbing what just happened, waved back aimlessly. As you closed the door, your knees finally buckled for the first time in the night. You slumped against the door, smiling to yourself, not knowing the number one hero was doing the same thing. 

[greekgrad07]

favorite things about your mutuals? its positivity hour, go!

it would be a fucking honor 😭 i tried to get all my mutuals this time but i’m sure i forgot people. i’m sorry if i did pls don’t hate me 🥺

this is in no particular order btw

marisa (@skaterbeth): my fellow short asthmatic <3 i love you bruh 😭 i remember being nervous to message you at first bc i thought you would find me annoying. now look at us 😌 i can message you without fear bc i know you find me annoying 🤍you’re so talented and beautiful and incredible. i love your enthusiasm and you’re so funny. every time i get a notification that you’ve sent me a meme on instagram i get excited (and idk how but there’s one almost every morning when i wake up. i’m not complaining though)

erica (@skateryue): MY TWIN ILY 🤍🤍🤍 i forgot to tell you this but i took a which female atla character are you quiz and i got yue and thought of you <3 you’re so sweet and supportive and deserve all the love! i’m glad our mutual love of the parent trap, our mbti types, and how we’re both jeff goldblum brought us together lol. the vibes are immaculate 😌

adi (@bitcheusjackson): adi you are so smart. THE TAGS I LEAVE FOR YOU ARE WELL DESERVED! you’re such a good writer and your love of musicals is so cute! i also love getting to be an annabeth simp with you (as we all should). you’re also a talented artist! i know you don’t post a lot of your art but when you do i’m always blown away <3<3<3

fátima (@deepestempathllamalawyer): my adopted child 😌 i love you sm 🥺 you’re so sweet- like seriously, i appreciate every self help posted you tag me in and every cute animals post as well. i absolutely love seeing you in my notifications! you’re also the reason i became a malconnor shipper to thank you 😭🤍 (also i still have no idea wtf your url means but at this point i’m too afraid to ask)

ashna (@silenabeth): fun fact, you were the first “big” pjo blog that followed me and i absolutely lost my shit so there’s that <3 you’re such a talented writer and editor bruh i don’t tell you that enough. also, the queen who brought us connabeth i will forever stan 🤩 you’re so funny and one of the most supportive people ever <3<3<3 (also love all of your call out posts about marisa 😌)

sarah (@perseusjackkson): i told you that you were too cool to be following me and i stand by that. you’re so chill and funny, i vibe with you sm. really, your blog is full of so many different fandom and i vibe with almost all of it. you really made your blog for the people <3 i love reading your tags on the things you repost bc they are usually hilarious. also, i couldn’t be more supportive of your engagement to my twin 🤍

regina (@bisexualzia): regina you’re so sweet and genuine and funny and the fact that you associate me with cookies still makes me 🥰 and idk why. your tag has 🔥 by it and i told you it’s bc of ouat. idk if you get that but it’s my favorite show and one of my favorite characters is named regina so <3 also i’m glad there is someone else that can agree suki is superior 😌

zitz (@four-names): another reason why i ship malconnor <3 lol you send the most random asks and they always make my day! and your tags are everything btw stop hiding them 😂 you’re not afraid to speak your mind and you’re a very genuine person :)

drew (@cubanpercyj): you are so caring and passionate! i love your replies and tags to my posts and i’m glad we agree that percy can’t swim lol. you’re super chill and i vibe with you very much. and i’m sure you’ve heard this a lot but i love your aesthetic. the water header is so pretty <3

kayra (@awkwardteenwriter): you are so sweet! and YES ofc you have a tag bruh. i remember when i first tagged you in a post and you said that it made you happy aljdkhagf i tag you in like everything now i’m sure it gets annoying. you’re one of the most caring people ever though! one of our first interactions was you sending me a virtual hug during a hard time for me and i’ll always be thankful for that 🥺🤍

jaina (@jainadurron): you are so nice. every interaction we’ve had has been nothing but absolutely lovely and i’m glad that you joined the pjo fandom! you like almost all of my posts and i love seeing you in my notifications. also! i forgot to tell you your new avatar is so cute 🥺

haania (@padfootno): i love you and i’m sorry the fic isn’t out yet pls don’t hate me 😭 you’re literally the sweetest and most helpful person ever! i’m so thankful for your help on writing hijabi silena and ever since you’ve been so nice! i also love when you tag me in posts :)

@perca-beths: you give me such good vibes idek how to describe it. also, you’re insanely talented! i found your fic on a03 and when i realized it was you who wrote it i was blown away. anyways you’re awesome and i can’t wait for your next update :)

@percabethica: again, YES you have a tag 😂 you’re so nice! i remember i asked to be on your taglist for your fic and you were so kind. speaking of your fic, i loved it i loved it i loved it! you’re incredibly talented. i always end up seeing your reblogs from me on my dash before seeing it in my notifications and there’s always a second after i notice it where i’m like “omg that’s me. i posted/reblogged something she liked.” also your aesthetic is so pretty, i love it

gray (@bbyannabeth): idk why you’re following me. what do i have to offer? when i tell you i binged your masterlist after you posted it i’m not kidding. you’re so talented and seem so chill. also i just saw that you posted a new fic and bruh, i’m about to create a reblog that has so many tags

@ohmydamgods: i’m not above admitting that i’ve stalked your instagram. your posts are so fucking funny and so are you! i also see people posting your textposts on instagram and i’m always like “*gasp* does she know?” and then i see you’ve commented and it’s all good 😂 also you’re so nice :)

@mydramaticflare: YOU ARE SO TALENTED! when you comment on my fic there’s no time to unpack all of that i lost my shit bc your fic Quiet Moments inspired me to write a percabeth sleepover fic in the first place. also you seem so sweet and you show up in my notifications a lot :)

brin (@skatersuki): first of all, suki supremacy <3, secondly, you’re so smart like wtf. every time you go off about photokinesis and all that i’m like 😐😣😐 also every time i see the book circe by madeline miller i think of you bc you’re the first person who i have seen recommend it

teriza (@wasithard): we haven’t really interacted but we have a lot of the same mutuals so i know you’re cool. lol fr though you do seem very nice and fun and chaotic in the very best way, plus you’re blog is awesome

kayla (@eggplant-avenger): hi kayla :) we met through the connabeth agenda and you are super chill. also i hope that you know whenever i read your tag i hear chris mccarrell’s voice singing ‘being a half-blood, it’s scary, it mostly gets you killed in very nasty ways’

charlotte (@sonofsallyjackson): you are the most supportive person ever. every time i read one of your comments on my fics, my heart swells. you’re too kind for this world <3

taylor (@saltyypercy): another one of my connabeth friends 🤩 speaking of connabeth, your memes are everything! you’re hilarious and your content is awesome

@getwokescullyy: you are such a talented writer!! and you’re so nice and supportive! :) we also have a lot of the same hc’s for post canon percabeth 😌 super excited for your next update btw!

olivia (@thegraystreaks): you are so talented idk why you’re following me. it had to of been a mistake. if, so pls don’t leave 🥺 you’re such a supportive person and seeing you and liz interact is so funny. fr i love your writing sm and i’m obsessed with your url 🤩

aya (@percasbeths): again, WHY ARE YOU FOLLOWING ME? seriously i have some of the most talented writers following me and idk why but i’m not complaining. all of your au’s are beautiful and i’m always blown away <3

@judoflipped: you introduced me to Apartment 305 so i’m pretty sure i owe you a kidney or something now lol. fr though you were so nice to me during our first interaction <3 you’re so sweet and you seem super chill

emma (@jasongrape): first a foremost, a superior url. you’re posts are hilarious, especially the ones of you and ash going back and forth lol.

@clr-stan: we haven’t interacted much but your posts are so good!! and you seem super sweet :) also, you’re right. if the pjo movies weren’t based on the books i would have been invested

@writinglettersaddressedtothefire: i’m pretty sure you’re also a mutual of fátima’s which makes you awesome. plus your writing is so good! also i see that you’re having a great time with taylor’s new album coming out so i’m glad you seem to be doing good 😂

lexi (@multifandom-420): one of the other three malconnor shippers on this cite 😭 you seem so sweet and your posts are top tier

@esistkeinponyhof: you are literally always in my notifications and it’s so fun lol. we’ve never really interacted but i’m glad that you like my blog :) also you’re a fellow directioner which is amazing 😌

@himbolin420: how does it feel to have a canon url? apart of the bolin defense squad and connabeth nation? we have no choice but to stan <3 i remember you kept a count for all of your mutuals when i first followed you and i thought that was absolutely precious lol

@twilight-hours: you’re in my notifications a lot and i'm not complaining. lol you always reblog the funniest stuff and i love seeing it on my dash. i know we haven't really interacted but i know we would vibe 

[dragynkeep]

*BBC narrator impression begins*

Oh dear. It appears that Rooster Teeth Productions have cocked up Miss Blake Belladonna's fairy tale allusion upon wrapping up the story arc with her Beast.

We now turn to the well-informed pair of siblings, Owl and Luke, for their conclusions on how the allusion to Belle even fits any longer.

*BBC narrator impression ends*

The hell happened to Blake and her supposed to being Belle? Sure, in the original Beauty and The Beast novel, Beast's real name was Adam. Duh.

But let's take off our "Fuck RT" caps for one second for a more in-depth analysis. Does her Belle allusion really even fit anymore?

nerd fixation on beauty and the beast goes into overdrive.

did it ever really fit? belle in most iterations wasn’t a freedom fighter, she wasn’t part of an oppressed class, hell in most reading & a love for books & adventure wasn’t a defining trait of belle’s. it was her kindness, contrasted to the spite & greediness of her sisters, who wanted only monetary things from their merchant father. hell, even with the development of blake in volume 4 where we find out she’s basically the princess of menagerie; that contrasts the original belle as she was a merchants daughter turned peasant after he lost his wares at sea, who’s sisters abused her & made her clean & do work in order to try and buy their home back. the only time she’s ever really applied to a “belle” allusion is reading with disney’s iteration of belle, & every other rwby allusion in that team takes from the original tale, not any other more modern iteration. also i don’t know where you heard the beast’s name being adam in the original tale from but from what i’ve researched, he was only ever referred to as la beté & adam was a name given purely for the disney version.

now, the most defining traits of blake in the show are her drive for justice, her determination, her courage, being defined as a faunus, but isn’t above despising or hating those who are prejudicial & pick on those who are smaller than them. taking all of those into account, she honestly fits esmeralda better than any other fairytale protagonist, or quasi protag in this case. so many of esmeralda’s lines in the movie feel like they could’ve come straight from early volume blake, so much of their defining characteristics match up far better than blake & belle. like some of these lines?

you mistreat this poor boy the same way you mistreat my people.

[ silence ! ] justice !

what do they have against people who are different?

you saw what he did out there. letting the crowd torture that poor boy? i thought if just one person could stand up to him then...

you speak of justice, yet you are cruel to those most in need of your help !

i don’t see any. [ see what? ] monster lines. not a single one. now, you look at me. do you think i'm evil?

LITERALLY THE ENTIRETY OF GOD HELP THE OUTCASTS !!

blake being esmeralda is the one time i would endorse rooster teeth taking inspiration from the disney iteration instead of the actual source material as there is a lot of anti romani sentiment in the novel that disney managed to make less egregious [ by having esmeralda actually be romani instead of a french girl who was stolen by them & was a sex worker. ] it also keeps in with her french theme & doesn’t allow for any vagueness around what her potential coding could be; blake can be poc & french, many roma are.

blake being esmeralda also lends to some actual poc representation on screen without falling into the oofness of making blake black / poc with her current mother’s name meaning a slur. the belladonnas could still exist in the storyline if wished, just don’t have them be blake’s parents. blake could finally count for some very rare romani / gypsy rep that we don’t see in media often, let alone animated media; & with her being nonsexualized most of the time & her defining traits being her righteousness & her compassion & drive for justice, she wouldn’t fall into the stereotypical traps of a sexualized gypsy.

also fun fact, red is an unlucky colour in romani / most gypsy cultures; which could be a cute nod to adam being unlucky for her & their cause.

so yes, this is my blake should’ve been based on esmeralda propaganda post ♥

[1787americanrevnerd]

The Avengers (Student Body Government for S.H.I.E.L.D High School) Post: 1 of ?

Book Summary:

A High School AU that I hope isn't cliche, I tried to make it my own and it's also not focusing on any ships it focuses on them as a whole. When Nick Fury decides that he needs a Student government he chooses people that could never work together, for the student government he recruits Tony Stark (a bad boy/nerd) Steve Rogers (The skinny kid always trying to pick a fight with people) Natasha Romanov (a Russian transfer student) Clint Barton (no one really knows what he's doing there) Bruce Banner (the lovable nerd) Thor (a nice jock) Sam Wilson ( a pilot in training and actually has student body government experience) Bucky Barnes (the athlete who's always getting Steve out of trouble and never talks about his past) Pepper Potts (she's really just there to make sure nobody adds or subtracts from the population) and their siblings can only watch it all go to shit and then something greater coming out of it.

Chapter 1: Issues

Everyone has their... stuff, whether it be physical or emotional everyone has it. Most people find their people or groups in high school, but some don't fit into the system. Tony was smart but too cool to be in the nerdy group, Steve actually didn't really fit in anywhere, Natasha was a cheerleader and a transfer student that hated most people, Clint wasn't a jock but he didn't belong in any other category, Bruce was nerdy and geeky but had too many anger issues to really hang out with the other geeks and nerds, Thor was an amazing Football player but far to nice to be friends with the other jocks, Sam was a Track and Feild runner but had different dreams than the rest of them, Bucky was an athlete who spent most of his time protecting Steve to belong to any group, and Pepper was a future businesswoman who was too uptight by everyone else's standards. Some of them became friends with each other but it's not the same as having a whole group behind your back.

Tony Stark hated his father, it was the first thing you should know about him. Tony spent most of his time in his garage trying to make a robot suit which he called Iron Man and his friend Bruce called, "A Flying Death Trap" it was a slow process. Tony was a smart kid he was in all the AP classes, however, he was a ladies' man which meant that he didn't really get bullied. If he wasn't in the garage he would be nearby the coffee shop that his other friend Rhodey worked at. Tony was living his best life in general, except for the fact that he had only two real friends.

Steve Rogers was a skinny kid with a boatload of health issues, but that didn't stop him from trying to beat anyone to a pulp who did something wrong. His friend always pulled him out of the fights though saying that, "Your Mom would kill me if you got injured on my watch." Which Steve thought was unfair, why did his Mom and his best friend have an agreement of making sure he didn't get hurt? He wanted to be part of the football team but he was too skinny and had asthma. Steve wanted to play sports with his friends, unfortunately, that wouldn't happen, the worst part of his day was the hour he was alone because his friends were at track practice.

Natasha was a Russian transfer student, she was told to gain American government secrets Clint told her that this was frowned upon. She brought her sister with her and they were living at the Barnes house, she liked it there it was peaceful. She was a cheerleader, she only joined to make fun of the other girls. She tried to act like a stupid pretty girl, that way no one would pay much attention to her however that backfired quickly. Almost every boy wanted to date her, she didn't mind the attention people gave her now. The only thing she didn't like was the fact that people now had misconceptions of her personality.

Clint is a champion archer in the region and is currently trying to be part of the national archery competition. However he didn't really know what to do with his life, they don't exactly give out scholarships for archery. He spent most of his time in "little secret rooms" he found in the school. Clint also didn't have many friends, Natasha had her own stuff and he got the vibe someone like her wouldn't want to hang out with him. His grades weren't the best in the world which made him even more worried about the future and school. He didn't know what to do he thought that archery is the only thing he's good at.

Bruce was a nerdy geek with anger issues, which made it hard to hang out with people. He only had Tony, and Tony didn't always stay right next to Bruce. Bruce was bullied a lot, which didn't help in making friends. He was at the bottom of the social chain, at least he could get into a good school and have a bright future. Bruce tried to be a pacifist however he had really bad anger issues and everything stressed him out, he called the angry part of himself The Hulk. He didn't have bipolar depression, he just got angry easily simple as that.

Thor was a football player and very popular, however, he wasn't mean. Most people saw him as the jock, but that wasn't who he was, not deep down. He had a lot on his place, he would be getting the family business passed down to him because his "nutcase older sister was on thin fucking ice" his father's words not Thor's. He took care of his younger brother at most times, but they've hit a snag in their relationship. Thor didn't have many friends against contrary belief, sure he had people wanting to be his friend but they didn't want to know the real Thor.

Sam was trying to get his pilot's license which was a lot of work and took up most of his time. He was also on the track team which almost took up the rest of his free time. He did have time to talk with Steve and Bucky though. Sam was somewhere on the middle of the social food chain, he wasn't bullied or unpopular but he wasn't the most popular kid in the school. He had secrets though like everyone, one's he couldn't tell his friends knew about them but never asked. He and Bucky had a rivalry neither of them really knew why, Sarah and Rebecca say that they're competing for the best friend role. At least he had people, even if he didn't really like one of them.

Bucky was an athlete and only had one arm, well most of the time. He had a prosthetic but only wore it for baseball and if he had to wear it for the track. He had lost it when he was young, a freak accident and they couldn't save the arm. He had a big family so they were a big help with helping him. He had four sisters Rebecca, Lizzy, Martha, and Linda which was difficult at times but they were good to have around to tell you not to make stupid decisions.

Principle Fury wanted to have a student government, but he didn't want to be stuck with assholes running it. He had to decide who would be in it, and he already had an idea. They might not like each other but this would be a good bonding experience and it would help Fury out a lot. He sent Hill to go and gather them up, and put them in the office he found himself sitting in. This is not going to work, a part of him thought. He couldn't help but feel that he just made a grave mistake, like he interrupted the order of things, in retrospect he probably did.

No one was happy about the fact that they all had to work together. People thought that Stark wasn't serious enough, they said that Rogers would get into too many fights, some people had problems with jocks being in the same room as them. Others really didn't know what they were doing there, one of those people was Pepper Potts. Pepper Potts had an inconsequential life she wanted to be a CEO, but like that would ever happen. Fury told her to make sure that nothing happened to the other kids, make sure they have ground rules. So that was her job, to be the babysitter. This is going to be an interesting year for all of them.

Notes: This chapter was majorly inspired by The Breakfast Club. Did any of you catch that?

Part 2

[wistfulcynic]

melancholy

There’s a post somewhere in the depths of Tumblr (if anyone knows where please post the link) something to the effect of a person who had been suffering through a bout of depression one day started to sing while they were cooking. Their roommate immediately rushed in, overwhelmed with relief because they knew that singing meant the person was feeling better. 

This is inspired by that. 

--

melancholy: 

August is always a difficult month for Killian. As if the sweltering heat and the mosquitoes and the bittersweet sense of summer waning weren’t bad enough, it’s also the month in which Liam died. Each year Killian grows tense and snappish as the anniversary approaches, both eager for the damned thing to be over and wishing it would never come. 

And this year, this one, is the worst yet. This August marks ten years since his brother passed, a fact that first begins to worm its way into Killian’s mind on a soft May day when he should be happy—his own bloody birthday. He’s 29 this year and with thirty now not so much waiting around the corner as looming up directly in his path, he finds himself struck by the realisation of just how painfully young Liam had been when he died. He can’t stop thinking about it as August draws nearer, or of all the things he’s seen and done that Liam—dead before he even saw his quarter-century—never had the chance to try.  

He knows himself well enough to be aware of what miserable company he is when these fits of melancholy overtake him, and this being such a long and vicious one he does his best to stay away from Emma as much as he can until it passes. His roommate has enough to deal with, he thinks, she doesn’t need him adding to her burdens. So he keeps to himself, stays in his room with music on his headphones or goes to the bar he knows she hates to brood over a glass of rum. Sometimes he takes long walks late into the night, alone with his thoughts and safely away from the temptation of Emma Swan. 

On the day of the anniversary itself he runs into her despite all his efforts. Her skip kept her out later than usual and so it happens that when he returns from the bar, drunk and aching deep in his soul, he finds her not asleep in her bed but in the kitchen making grilled cheese. She gives him a look that’s at once understanding and tentative, oddly yearning and full of sympathy, and he forces a smile to his face but does not speak. She opens her mouth but he shakes his head hard, willing her to understand that there’s no way he can bear her kindness now. If she offers it he will break and he can’t risk that, not with her. She means too much to him and he already wants so many things that she can’t give—there’s no telling what he’ll do or say if he lets his guard down now when he’s so bruised and so needy and so alone. 

She nods and swallows and tries to smile, and he retreats to his room feeling worse than ever. He lies in bed with sleep nowhere to be had and he thinks, once again, about Liam. He thinks about how his brother died before he had a chance to see the world as he always wanted. Before he could learn to sail the ships he used to admire in the harbour. Before he could fall in love. 

What kind of woman would he have chosen, Killian wonders. Or, perhaps, what kind of man? Either is equally plausible; he truly has no idea how Liam felt about love or sex or romance. It occurs to him that in some ways he hardly knew his brother at all. 

He’s certain though that whomever Liam might have chosen to love, he’d have made better go at it than Killian. Better than the married woman that he failed to save, better than the roommate with her mile-high walls who will never love him back. It’s almost like he’s trying to be alone, he thinks bitterly, and to waste every opportunity offered by the life that Liam worked so hard to give him.

~

His August mood that started in May lingers well past the end of summer, and the air is crisp with the bite of early October when Killian realises that he’s managed to go a whole day without once thinking of Liam. It makes him rather sad again but it’s also a relief; he can’t live his life trapped in grief and guilt and recrimination. And he needs to live that life, and live it as well as he knows how—he owes Liam at least that much.  

The following day finds him in the kitchen making fajitas when Emma gets home. He’s in the mood to cook for the first time in ages and he’s making more than enough to share, both because Emma’s been known to have a bowl of cereal of an evening and call it dinner and because Killian figures a nice meal will serve as an apology for how difficult it must have been living with him these past few months. 

He’s singing to himself when the front door opens, one of the old sea shanties he grew up hearing, and when Emma appears in the kitchen he gives her an apologetic smile. 

“Sorry, love,” he says. “I know the shanties aren’t your favourite, but—urgh.”

Emma strides across the room and flings her arms around him, squeezing him so tightly he grunts. She presses her face against his neck and he feels the warmth of her tears on his skin. 

“Thank God,” she whispers. “Thank fucking God.” 

“What’s this, Swan?” He hugs her back then pulls slightly away so he can look down at her face. “What’s wrong?” 

“When you’re sad you stop singing,” she whispers, as fresh burst of tears begins to flow. “This is the first time you’ve sung in six months. I’m just—” she breaks off on a sob. “I’m so relieved you’re feeling better. I was so worried, Killian.” 

He stares at her. “You were worried about me?” 

“Of course I was!” She tries to snap but it comes out weak and watery. “I lov—ah—I care about you.” 

His breath catches and his heart stutters as she goes rigid in his arms and watches him warily. In times past he’d have convinced himself it was a slip of the tongue and nothing more, but his vow to live his life the best he can is fresh in his mind, and Emma is still holding him so tightly and she’s still crying... crying because he was sad. Because she saw that he was sad. Not that he was a pain in her arse to live with but that deep down he wasn’t well. 

She always sees him.

Live, he reminds himself. Take the risk, for Liam who never could. 

He brushes the hair back from her face, tear-streaked and gorgeous and full of an apprehension that breaks his heart. “I love you too, Emma,” he says softly.

Her mouth falls open. “You do?” she gasps.

“Aye. Very much.” 

“Oh, Killian.” She squeezes him again and he lets her, cradling her head as she weeps freely into his shoulder, letting his fingers tangle in her hair as they have longed to do for years now. 

“I’m so sorry for worrying you, love,” he murmurs. “I never dreamed you’d notice.” 

“Of course I noticed,” she retorts, pulling back to dry her cheeks on the sleeve of her sweater. “I know it’s ten been ten years since Liam died and I knew how much that would upset you. I wanted to help, but—” 

“But I didn’t let you,” he finishes, shaking his head. “I’ve been a bloody fool. Can you forgive me?” 

“Of course I can. So long as you promise me one thing.”

“Anything, darling.” 

“The next time you feel that way, don’t try to handle it alone. If you don’t want to talk to me there are counsellors—” 

“You’ll do, Swan,” he assures her. “And I promise.”  

She nods, her smile brilliant with relief, light with lifted worry. “I’m always here for you, Killian,” she says. “To listen or hold your hand or anything else you need.” She takes a deep breath. “Because I love you.” 

Something settles in Killian’s chest, something that feels terrifyingly like happiness. He cups Emma’s face in his hands and kisses her, a gentle, clinging kiss that she stands on her toes to return, and for the first time in ten years Killian Jones knows that he is not alone.

--

[out-of-jams]

Direct Message || Part one || kth

↠ Direct Message ↞ “Never in a million years would you have expected Kim--motherfucking--Taehyung of world famous Bangtan Sonyeondan, the biggest boyband in the entire world, to find it. To watch your whole cover of his song, Winter Bear, and actually like it. And not just like it.

He posted a link on Weverse for everyone else to see it too.”

Word Count: 1.1k

Warnings/Genre: Fluff. Drabble series. Language barrier!au. Idol!Taehyung. Youtuber!Reader. Bad language. Somewhat social media!au.

A/n: Just a smol series. And yes, this is completely inspired by that one post Tae made on Weverse with a link to that girl’s yt channel. LOL. Also, this is kind of a part of the Cheers If You Agree universe!

All of my works are purely fiction. Everything I write is my intellectual property and therefore belongs to me. ©out-of-jams. Do not copy or repost without permission.

                             | Next | Masterlist | 

“Holy shit.”

There was no word in the history of the English language that could be used to describe what you were currently going through.

“Are you literally fucking kidding me?” Your voice, so high pitched that you were pretty sure only your next door neighbor’s demonic chihuahua could hear it, barely left your parted lips. Because you couldn’t believe what you were staring at. To be honest, you weren’t even sure if you could believe it despite the clear proof in the form of your phone. If you weren’t sitting on your bed, you were pretty sure that your legs would have collapsed right out from under you.

“This is..is...” Shaking, you lifted your hand to bring the brightly lit screen closer to your face. No matter how many times you swiped up to refresh the page with trembling fingers, it didn’t change. It was still there. Your fucking face! Well, the thumbnail at least.

You blinked.

Again.

Again.

Refreshed the page.

Again.

Yup, still there.

A link to YouTube of a video that you’d just recently uploaded stared back at you unwaveringly. You hadn’t thought anything of it when you’d made it, had just figured that it’d be like any other cover you’d uploaded throughout the past year. And you hadn’t been expecting a whole lot of views either, seeing as how your channel was still relatively new and all. When you’d clicked “upload” and closed out of the page, you’d figured that you’d go back and check in a few days to see how it was received. If people had liked it.

Sometimes you would get very nice, encouraging comments from people. And even though it was a slow climb, your subscriber count went up every couple of days. You’d been singing for years, as long as you could remember honestly, but you’d only just gotten the confidence to put yourself out there last year. Hell, the only reason you started posting in the first place was because your friends all but threatened bodily harm if you didn’t do it.

“You’re so talented, dude. Don’t let that go to waste.” Your best friend had told you one day over coffee. “Or you’ll regret it when you’re old and dusty.”

You hadn’t thought you’d become overly famous or anything. Just branch out and share your music with other people.

Never in a million years would you have expected Kim--motherfucking--Taehyung of world famous Bangtan Sonyeondan, the biggest boyband in the entire world, to find it. To watch your whole cover of his song Winter Bear and actually like it. And not just like it.

He posted a link on Weverse for everyone else to see it too.

When the green little notification that he’d posted something had first slid into view on your screen, you hadn’t thought much thought of it. Taehyung was incredibly active on the app and would spam it all the time with ridiculously funny selcas or respond to army’s posts in his free time. So you’d just brushed it to the side to check on later. Fighting the lag of millions of other people to try and translate what he posted wasn’t something that you were interested in at that moment.

Even if he ended up deleting it later, you were pretty sure that someone on Twitter would have taken a screenshot and it’d circulate around at some point. It wasn’t that you didn’t care, you just didn’t check every single thing the members posted to the app the moment that they were uploaded. Therefore, you hadn’t really given it a second thought.

Until your best friend and fellow army blew your phone up with over a dozen messages, completely interrupting your lazy Netflix binge. Most of them hadn’t made any sense, had just been a string of nonsensical key smashes with the occasional “!!” tacked on. Since she was stuck in a movie theater with her boyfriend, she hadn’t been able to call you without causing a scene. So she’d resorted to flooding you with texts until you responded.

Why she’d even been checking the Weverse notification in the darkened theater in the first place was a mystery to you. Especially since you knew she’d been dying to see that movie for weeks. Whatever it was. But that didn’t matter, not when she’d piqued your interest with a text saying, “WEVERSE HUGHIH NOW.” You’d figured that Taehyung must have just posted a thirst trap or something again.

But you’d been wrong.

Flooding in right beneath his post were hundreds of comments. Some were in English, others in Korean, and the rest in languages that you had no idea how to read. They varied in reactions too, and everytime you started to read one, the page would glitch out and another would take its place.

He hadn’t put any text in the post, just the link.

What the hell was that supposed to mean? That he liked it? He had to have, right? Otherwise he wouldn’t have posted it. Unless...well, unless he absolutely hated it and wanted to send army after you to--

Shaking your head to get rid of the onslaught of extremely unrealistically anxious thoughts, you watched the amount of comments and cheers to the post skyrocket. If just his post was getting so much attention, what would that mean for…?

Immediately you switched apps and opened up YouTube. Navigating to the video only took a minute, but felt like hours and your heartbeat pounding in your ears didn’t help. Especially not when you pulled up the same cover and could do nothing but freeze in shock.

“Oh, my god.” Not only did you have over a hundred thousand views already, but subscription notifications were going off every two seconds.

Setting your phone down onto your bed, you watched with unseeing eyes as the screen went dark from inactivity.

How the hell were you supposed to respond to the comments? Were you even supposed to? You’d never spoken a word to Kim Taehyung in your whole life. In fact, you’d only ever been to a handful of BTS concerts. But you knew how crazy some people could get. Would they start thinking you were dating him or something just because he’d shared a link to your video.

Fuck, you really hoped not.

Your phone lighting up snapped you out of your thoughts. You’d turned off all push notifications for comments and subscriptions, so you reached for it without a second thought. And stared down at the bright screen with bewilderment.

Whatever the rest of the message was got cut off there. Who the..? 

With a shrug and curiosity needing sating, you swiped it open.

[songsformonkeys]

WIP Game

Tagged by @agirllovespancakes @alwaysbethewest @ionlyjoinedforboydholbrook @astroboots (and possibly someone else that I've missed. Tags have been acting up this past week) Thank you, my lovelies 💖

Rules: post the names of all the files in your WIP folder, regardless of how non-descriptive or ridiculous. Let people send you an ask with the title that most intrigues them and then post a little snippet of it or tell them something about it! and then tag as many people as you have WIPs.

The WIPs:

Digging Up Bones - Whiskey/f!reader where the reader also works for the Statesmen, as a medical doctor, and Whiskey keeps showing up at her office with both real and made-up injuries just to get a chance to flirt.

The Way Back - Maxwell/OFC where Maxwell moves back to the small town where he grew up, after the events of the movie. There he meets his ex girlfriend Jamie and somehow ends up working for her despite the fact that she seems to hate him.

The Asshole, The Bitch, and the Wardrobe - Javier Peña/f!reader but written from Steve's POV. Crack fic.

Wrong Numbers and Cake Emergencies - Marcus Pike/f!reader where Marcus accidentally texts the reader, thinking he's texting his mom, and asking for an easy-to-make cake recipe. Then the two of them keep texting each other over the following weeks.

Five times Dace attempted to kill you and the one time he succeeded - Dave/f!reader. I think the title is pretty self-explanatory here.

Maxwell's Bodyguard - Maxwell/f!reader where the reader gets hired after an attempt on Maxwell's life, to work undercover as his bodyguard while pretending to be his secretary. (I'm not sure if I'll finish this. I started it before the movie came out and I don't like how OOC Maxwell is in this fic)

Ezra's diary - Ezra keeps a diary while alone on the Green.

Just a Sprinkle of Dust - Dave/f!reader. Just a Dave sex pollen fic that I might get around to writing at some point.

Kitty Cat - Max Phillips. A crack fic where Max gets turned into a cat. (I don't think I'll actually write this)

Maxwell in the shower - Maxwell/f!reader. @yespolkadotkitty requested shower sex with Maxwell. I think mostly just to get him out of his clothes and ring, which she's not a fan of.

Photos - Steve/Javier. Inspired by Steve and that camera of his. Javier finds a box of pictures Steve's taken and the ones that are of him perhaps give away a little more about Steve's feelings for Javi than Steve had planned.

Pickpocket - Steve/f!reader. Just smut. The reader pickpockets something off of Steve. Steve is pissed and lonely and they end up fucking against a wall.

The Boy With Bread in His Pockets - Ezra/reader. I only have the title and just a few notes for this so far. It'll be about a young Ezra and the reader, growing up close to each other and getting separated for a whole bunch of years and then meeting again.

A Tiny Piece of the World Called Home II - Ezra/f!reader. A Sequel to the story I've already written.

Triple the Price Epilogue - Veracruz/f!reader. I might write this... actually, I don't think @astroboots will give me a choice.

Writing prompts - various characters. I still have a few asks that I received from the writing prompts post that I'm gonna write. I haven't forgotten about you!

Sturdy Home verse - Amnesia!Dave/f!reader. I still have a few installments of this verse that I want to write.

Rooftop conversations - Din/reader. The reader meets a soft-spoken man with kind, and slightly sad, eyes one night. They're both feeling trapped in their lives and talk about running away and where they would go if they could. The reader has no idea she's talking to the new ruler of Mandalore.

Tagging (I will not be tagging one for each WIP and I have no idea who's already done this so feel free to ignore) : @yespolkadotkitty @heatherbel @mourningbirds1 @mandorush @thirstworldproblemss @mouthymandalorian @ithinkwehitametaphor @ahopelessromanticwritersworld @fromthedeskoftheraven