#this post got 1k when i wasnt looking

[its-arson-time]

this post is meant for mobile users

[miujo]

　　　　 ₊　˙　　⢷　　jicito rating　❀　part 1

I had an entire introduction and reasoning into this little game thing series ima start and then it all got deleted cause my tumblr decided to open up some random account and take me out of the draft and it all reset SO IM RATING 5 OF MY MOST LIKED AND 5 OF MY LEAST LIKED MBDS.

rei moodboard : 4/10 this was the first ever moodboard i made that ever actually hit 1k (now 2k) notes and i was actually dumbfounded cause back then i felt everything i was making was hideous (i wasnt wrong), this moodboard took me about a few hours to make and i still hated it but heh u guys liked it so thats all that matters :3

taehyung moodboard : 1/10 um. this mb recently hit 1k notes.. i wish it hadn't. i hate this mb. very ugly and not creative at all. i literally grabbed random images and put them together cause i gave up on the mb like 7 times. anywho

xinyu moodboard : 7/10 i actually like this moodboard, my friend posted the pic of her on their story and i told them id make a mb for them and thats how it came out HELP but i actually like it if i just pretend the last line doesnt exist :3

winter moodboard : 5/10 this was my first time making a moodboard in this style 😭😭 obviously its not the best but it was pretty good, compared to my other mbs in this style tho its complete ass

hyunjin moodboard : 6/10 the moodboard is cute but when making this i was struggling so hard because i was trying to make all the images match the image beside them HELP idk how to explain but yeah its alright i guess

nova moodboard : 0/10 i see why.

wonhee moodboard : 6/10 the middle line is interesting but i like it, the school aesthetic or whatever is cute 😓😓

yunjin moodboard : 5/10 this moodboard had potential, the colors are actually really cute until you get to the last like how abt yall just ignore that erm anywho next!!

doeun moodboard : 2/10 who the fuck let me post this doeun girl im sorry i did u so wrong please dont jump me at the concert 😓😓

jeff satur moodboard : 10/10 i love this moodboard so much, i know it didnt do well but holy macaroons i love it he looks so good in these pics 😓😓😭😭👅👅👅

so in conclusion while scrolling through my moodboards those shits sucked ass oh my god HELPP its okay though because i only started last year maybe almost 2 years ago and i'm still learning and growing 😓 thank u for listenkng to my ted talk maybe next time we can rate um idk lets react to gacha next time guys!!

[seokmn]

chapter XI : i dont want you sitting on my lap either

wc: 1k words

seokmin knocked on seulgi’s door gently, “noona, it’s me. open up please”, after a few seconds the door opened, revealing the image of seulgi and it immediately broke seokmin’s heart. she was trembling and with puffy eyes, she looked devastated, like the worst thing had just happened to her… because it kind of happened.

seokmin placed the bags from the grocery shop on the floor and pulled her into his arms, hugging her tightly. once seulgi was in seokmin’s embrace she broke down again, sobbing loudly and mumbling things seokmin couldn’t understand, “its gonna be okay…”, seokmin caressed her hair gently and kissed the top of her head, “its gonna be okay, i promise”

they stayed like this for a while until the moment seulgi broke the hug and spoke with a shaky voice, “thanks for coming.. come in”, seokmin smiled at her and nodded, grabbing once again the grocery bags and coming inside her apartment. he placed the bags on the kitchen counter and sat on the couch, patting his lap while looking at seulgi with a kind expression.

“you want me to��� sit on your lap? i dont want that�� seulgi said sniffing, she looked more calm but confused and kinda disgusted about his request. seokmin laughed and shook his head, “are you crazy? i dont want you sitting on my lap either! rest your head on my lap, let me comfort you”

“ah.. that makes sense” she said giving him a small and weak smile and laying on the couch, placing her head on his lap. seokmin’s hand quickly went to her hair, caressing it softly. he didnt say anything, hoping she would talk first, but when he noticed she wasnt going to speak first, he spoke up, “you know that no matter what happens, i dont and wont regret being in a fake relationship with you, right?”

“i know… youre the best guy ive ever met, thank you for everything” seulgi spoke quietly, her voice breaking, indicating that she was about to burst into tears once again, “but i wish we didnt do that… i should’ve fought for irene, for our love. but i acted as a coward, i thought that faking a relationship with someone, with a man specifically, would be the solution of all of my problems. i didnt think about what would come next.. i couldn’t live in a fake relationship for the rest of my life”

seokmin listened to her words carefully, a frown deepening on his face, “dont say that, you and irene made this decision together, also, shes an idol and its a homosexual relationship. you two were scared of the hate and the homophobia you could receive and suffer.” he paused, he closed his eyes and took a deep breath, trying to not cry before opening again, “im sorry that it had and has to be like this, im sorry that you had to hide your feelings and your real relationship with your soulmate just because of her gender and her career”

seulgi shrugged her shoulders, staring at the wall with a picture of her and irene on it, “i talked to her before you get here”

“and? what will you two do?” seokmin asked, “we’ll tell the truth. her company will confirm the rumors and ill post an apology letter and explain everything. i wont tell about your secret tho, i wouldnt dare to”

seokmin smiled at her, even tho she wasnt looking at him, “thank you… now, have you already eaten?”, seulgi shook her head, “ill cook for you then, i already knew your answer would be a no”, he said lifting her head carefully and gently so he could get up from the couch and walk towards the kitchen. seulgi sat up on the couch and watched him as he made his way to her kitchen.

“im really glad youre my best friend, thank you for everything, literally everything”, she said as seokmin started to cook, his back facing her, “you dont need to thank me, everything that i did i only did because i love you and id do anything to make you happy, just like id do to make any of my friends happy. plus, i got to pretend to have something i’ll never have so you were helping me as well”

she didnt say anything, she always knew how the lack of a soulmate affected seokmin quite deeply. she hated it, she wanted seokmin to have a seokmin in his life, to have someone as sweet as him to be his lover. after all, seokmin deserves it, he deserves to be loved just like he loves people. if he did all that for the sake of his best friend and to see her happy, then what could he do for his loved one? its not fair to him, she wanted to see him being happy.

“food’s ready, come eat”, he said after a while, his sudden words made seulgi look at him, getting back to reality after finding herself lost in her thoughts about seokmin. she smiled and walked towards the dinner table, “smells delicious”

before seulgi could sit on the chair, the doorbell rang, “are you expecting someone?”, seokmin asked and seulgi shook her head.

seokmin slowly made his way to the front door and opened it, his eyes opened wide when he saw irene standing there. he looked at seulgi and then at irene, “hum.. noona?”

“ye-“ seulgi stopped talking in the same moment she saw irene, the woman smiled at her and in a blink of an eye seulgi found herself wrapped around irene’s arms.

“i- huh… i guess ill get going then. enjoy your time together and the food, please. i cooked with a lot of love” he said, but it was like he didnt even say a thing, the lovebirds were too focused on their own world to even remember or notice seokmin’s presence. he smiled at the sight of them hugging each other and mumbling “i love you” repeatedly and left seulgi’s apartment.

once he was out, he grabbed his phone and saw a bunch of notifications of his gc and missing calls, mostly from chan.

“shit, this is going to be hard to explain”

prev - next

INVISIBLE STRING

in a world where when you turn 18 you share an invisible string with your soulmate that only you and your respective soulmate can see it, seokmin, also known as dokyeom, is an actor in the musical theatre world that doesnt have a soulmate and keep it as a secret. meanwhile, yn works in a bookstore and doesnt seem bothered at all by the fact of not sharing a string with someone. is it possible to change the destiny and find your soulmate even tho you dont share the invisible string with anyone?

[mxrvelouss]

piggybacking off @lavendertom 's mike schmidt x reader fic again bc i want to post more wholesome **CLEAN** scenes that occupy my mind 😭

if you are a christian just trying to have some fun with your imagination on tumblr, let's be friends! 🫶🏻 it can definitely be hard trying to steer clear of any dirty stuff on this app LOL...just tryna be wholesome and silly

anyways here's this! but pls go read her fic first and give my bestie support bc this scene takes place after pt 4! 🤭🤭

wc: less than 1k

warnings: none! just some fluff hehe

----------------

You got to Mike's house an hour earlier, just like he asked. When he opened the door, you noticed that his hair was damp and his face was clean-shaven. He also had a shirt on that you had never seen him wear before. it was a short sleeve black t-shirt, and it looked nice on him, considering he only seemed to wear sweatshirts. Ok, "nice" was an understatement. Mike looked VERY attractive, and the muscles bulging out from the tight sleeves was enough to make you blush.

"Hey," he said nervously as you walked in.

"Hi!" you responded as you set your things down, and then looked back up at him, expectantly.

"Did you, uh, finish all your classes alright?" he asked, scratching the back of his head. It confused you, but then you remembered that earlier in the morning, in Abby's fort, you mentioned that you had some classes that day.

"Oh! Uh, yeah! Thanks for asking," you replied. The silence was tense, but in a good way. You knew he liked you; but did he know you liked him?

"So, what did you want to talk to me about?" you ask as the two of you make your way to the kitchen table. As you take a seat, he moves a chair directly next to you, and nervously clears his throat as he sits down. Your heart pounds.

"I just wanted to say that....I am so, so grateful for you." he pauses, looks at you with those deep brown eyes, and smiles. "I'm sorry for the way i was last night. I was just stressed with Abby and...and...y'know." He looks away, tears in his eyes, and continues.

"Anyways, I, uh, saw you in Abby's fort this morning and it just...it made me really happy. Thank you for being there for her, and for being the..." he hesitates, as if deciding what to say next. His next words are quiet and hoarse. "...for being the guardian that I can't be."

It felt like a punch to the gut.

He didnt feel good enough. He didnt feel like a good brother, a good son, a good parental figure for his sister.

You suddenly felt compelled to make him see that this wasnt true.

"Mike," you say intensely, gently touching his hand. He looks up at you with his eyebrows raised. "You... are doing EVERYTHING that you can for Abby, and you are doing amazing. She loves you so much, and she knows how hard youre trying."

You pause, trying to decide if you should say the next words on your mind.

You plunge ahead.

"And I know how hard you're trying, too. And it just makes me love you all the more." You lean forward, planting a kiss on his cheek. As you pull back, he looks at you, stunned, his cheeks flushed. Then, a grin. He smiles so wide that youre not even sure youre looking at Mike Schmidt anymore. He doesn't kiss you back- not yet, at least- but that look in his eyes, the look that he finally believes he IS doing enough, that HE is enough, is worth even more. ✨

[grecoromanyaoi]

my best tumblr is a webbed site moments in the past year or so:

- when a mutual liked and reblogged my posts, then softblocked me and sent me anon hate all in the span of 5 minutes, while continuing to vaguepost about me where i could see (bc i wasnt blocked). all for associating with trans women.

- i made fun of an insane take while not including op's url. got an anon defending them n calling me a racist bc they recognized the user n theyre a poc. the take was a. batshit insane and un-defendable and b. wasnt abt racism

- got called a zionist over a post that started w the sentences 'zionism is bad and israel is a settler state'

- a random user who rb said post got a lengthy anon calling me a zionist settler who exaggerates historical antisemitism to make palestinians look bad (they did not read the post apparently). the post very much did not said that, and also included v real details from my own family history. said anon brought up facts about me from months old posts of mine, and also my ethnicity for some reason?

- got told i jack off to palestinians' suffering and occupation bc i said i write abt sexual violence in the context of war and occupation in my story. aforementioned story is set in fantasy romania btw. i am romanian. my romanian family suffered under war and occupation and genocide. in romania.

- got told i jack off to the enslavement of romani ppl (which i havent mentioned anywhere in the post or generally) for saying i write abt war and occupation in a setting based in a fantasy romania. again.

- got told antisemitism isnt a problem in tunisia bc "there r still jews in tunisia" (abt 1k, if ur wondering, it was 100k in the 40s), so my family only left "bc they were zionists". damn. who to believe... my own family history... or some anon on tumblr.com.... what a dilemma

- got an anon accusing me of faking my autism in order not to go to protests (regarding a post where i literally said i go to protests), followed by a lengthy list of things i apparently do unbothered by my sensory issues, such as go to busy markets or loud nightclubs. i do not do any of the things listed bc again, i have autism.

- got called a fascist and was told i was needed to be 'beaten with hammers' for calling a man who died over two thousand years ago babygirl

- i might add more if i remember

[vxiphoid]

៚ BREAK ALL RULES !!⟢

❨ skateboarding with ruggie ❩ omg an actual fic😧😧!!! oh look its those two best friends that clearly have feelings for each other but wont admit it… KISS ALREADY. i need to start writing for more characters, i love savanaclaw too much😞 ooc ruggie (just to be sure), mentions of injuries, cursing, extremely bad explaining for skateboard tricks goodbye, not proof read, other than that tooth rotting fluff<3

⌜ 1k+ words⌟

♫ take me to the sun - d4vd & who - 웨터 (wetter)

“OH FUCK—“

“ruggie!? ruggie, are you okay?!” the camera immediately dropped as you slid down the ramp to assist your friend, landing in this crooked position with both of you somehow in the frame. ruggie was curled up on the pavement when you knelt down beside him, worry splashed on your face. it wasn't until you were kneeling by him did the faux hurt disappear from his face.

“i think i fell for you.”

then he shot you a cheeky little wink. you stared blankly at the man sprawled in front of you. ruggie had to purse his lips to stop himself from laughing, your expression was priceless. you looked like you'd just been scolded for some sort of transgression—y’know, before you finally realized he was teasing you, which prompted to you start attacking him with everything you could muster. “you absolute asshole! i thought you actually hurt yourself!”

ruggie, on the other hand, balled himself up and protected his head with his arms as he cackled. “ow, fuck— don’t hit me, i’m already injured!” he wheezed between chuckles. your punches got lighter and lighter till they were nothing but little pats on his shoulder and ribs as his contagious laughter effected you. and eventually the two of you collapsed into hysterical giggles, covered in dirt and scratches but happy none the less.

“you done watching that video? it’s your turn, you know!”

ruggie’s voice snapped you back to reality, the video playing from your phone quickly forgotten as quick as it stole your attention. it was supposed to be a simple video of ruggie doing an ollie since he was so adamant about actually having it down this time yet… he turned it into a corny pick up line after brutally falling on his face. you’re totally posting this on magicam.

you placed your phone down besides you, sliding down the small ramp for the umpteenth time tonight. “yeah, yeah, im coming!” ruggie chose the perfect night to practice skateboarding for the moon was at its fullest and the stars were all out, lighting the whole area with twinkling luminescence. it really made things look ethereal, especially in contrast with the street lamps nearby.

ruggie had found this skateboard a month back and there was this run down skatepark near the school so you both decided, hey, why not give some tricks a try. all the bruises and cuts definitely made your teachers and some students concerned but at least you were improving every now and again. it didn’t take long for ruggie to get the hang of it, at least sort of. there was this one trick you saw online that completely peaked your interest and in attempt of trying it, you ended up with a bloody nose. nothing was going to stop you from mastering this trick though, and if that meant getting bruised up more then so be it.

ruggie was squinting at his hand as you approached him, “i think i did actually cut my thumb when i fell, though.”

you rocked back and forth with your hands deep in your (rather, his) puffy jacket like the biggest shit you could be. “unfortunately for you, were all out of hello kitty bandaids.” he snorted at your words, turning around to face you properly. small scratches littered his face along with brightly colored bandages in different shapes and his smile wasnt as bright as his ocean blue eyes. he nudges the board towards your feet, rolling up the sleeves of his sweater before offering his hand. “ready?”

ruggie didnt miss how careful you were taking his hand and the slight squeeze you added when you stepped onto the board. your other hand flew to steady yourself as you put your other foot on the board. you glanced up to see him biting his bottom lip as his eyes trained on your shoes for any sign of unsteadiness or discomfort—like you might topple over if he weren’t looking. his concern brought a faint warmth to your heart as his gaze flickered to meet you, he was being so gentle with you. his hand loosened slightly on yours but you held on tight enough so he couldn’t pull away. “you good?” he asked with furrowed brows as his gaze lingered on your face. “don’t want you fallin’ off—“

“no.” you interrupted, giving him a reassuring squeeze. “i’m ready.”

for extra measurements as ruggie let go of your hand, his fingertips hovered over yours to make sure you weren’t going to fall, his hands quickly missing the warmth.

you started off slowly, gliding across the ground gently. ruggie followed suit closely behind, watching carefully to ensure no accidents happen. the wind blew past your faces, tickling your cheeks as you gradually picked up speed. he watched you smile to yourself, the glint of pride in your eyes.

it was only after you’d kicked off the ramp did he feel it—the familiar tug of your magic. the wind was working with you, your legs lifting off of the floor as you went higher. your back foot going under the board and flipping it back around, letting out a whoop that ruggie was sure he hadn’t heard from you before. his mouth opened wider than ever at your display—the wind was pushing you faster than he’d seen you move before. you seemed to glide across the concrete, never once breaking your stride. though when you landed, albeit a little off balanced, your eyes lit up like you had one the biggest teddy bear from a rigged claw machine. your face was glowing too, almost glowing like it could reflect your joy. your giggle rang through the chilly night air like music to his ears, and as soon as the feeling passed he felt it return tenfold. you were so fucking adorable. “did you see that?!”

ruggie braced himself for impact as you ran towards him with your arms outstretched, jumping and tackling him to the ground in one swift motion. the momentum caused the both of you to tumble onto your backs, your bodies pressed together tightly. his breath knocked from his lungs yet nothing stopped him from laughing along with you.

he pushes you away, scanning your face. “you’re okay, right? no scratches?” he reached up to cup one side of your face, gently wiping away a tear from your eye that rolled down to your nose. you were such an emotional little thing, it was absolutely endearing and god, he loved seeing you like this.

“of course i am! who cares?” you exclaim, knowing by heart that ruggie would catch you if you lost control of the skateboard mid-air. he always did.

your noses were brushing up against each other as you spoke, his eyes flicking down for a moment before darting back up. your lips were inches apart and if his heart was beating loud enough for the both of you to hear, it surely must have been so damn loud, you couldn’t miss the flutter of his breath against your face.

“i do.”

and maybe it was his tone, maybe it was the way he was staring at you in that way he was—so intent and full of emotion. you swallowed the lump in your throat; maybe it had something to do with the way he was gripping both sides of your face. maybe it was the warmness of his hands on either side of yours—you didn’t know and you didn’t particularly care. the urge to press your lips against his became too strong.

but he did. he leaned closer and closed his eyes, and suddenly you could hear the loud beating of your hearts, deafening even, as his lips brushed against yours for mere millimeters, yet your entire body froze in place. his touch was light at first, a feather light kiss that sent shivers down your spine. but before you knew it you had threaded your fingers through his hair, pulling him closer and deepening the kiss in hopes of convincing yourself that you weren’t dreaming. you weren’t. it felt just as amazing as you dreamed of, warm and comforting as you melted into his embrace while pressing deeper into the kiss with passion.

ruggie pulled back with a breathless laugh, resting his forehead against yours in awe. a grin stretched across his face, his eyes still closed and a dazed look plastered across his features. he could see why everyone always said that love makes fools of us all, because he was absolutely sure he looked like a total buffoon.

back to twst masterlist

[esthersarahhh]

characters; Jean Kirstein x gn!reader

summary; reader has a crush on Jean but he only seems to have eye for a certain black haired girl.

word count; 1k (1008)

content warning; no happy ending?, takes place in the early days of the 104 cadet corps, slight marco x reader?? (if you squint)

notes; this is my first time writing a post on my phone this feels very weird, if you have any tips or anything i can improve let me know! as well as requests, if u have a request please ask! (i also have a annie x reader fic on my mind that i’ll put into words soon enough so)

_________________________________________

You were eating when Jean first met Mikasa. As you were sitting with Marco and Jean, there was a conversation going on by the table next to us. Apperently it's that guy that says he wants to kill all the titans, and quite a few people have gathered around to listen to him. You don't pay any attention, you have other things on your mind.

Your friend, Jean, you've had a crush on him since the day you joined, and luckily the two of you became fast friends along with Marco. But friends wasnt enough. You wanted to hold his hand as well as hold his face while-

Jean stood up so you looked what was happening. He was talking to Eren, and a few seconds later they shook hands, apologizing to each other for something. As Eren left, a beautiful black haired girl followed him. Your face dropped when you saw Jean's expression when he saw her. His eyes followed her with every step she took, something he never did when it came to you.

'' Hey there! '' he said to her. As she turned around you could see the visable blush on his face. '' Uh it's just that i've never seen you around so.. '' She didn't say anything back.

'' S-sorry.. Your black hair is really gorgeous. ''

'' Thanks. '' She simply says and walks away.

Jean stands shook a minute and then runs out the door. You couldn't bear to see anymore so you focused back on your food. From the corner of your eye you could see Marco giving you a sympathetic look, but you knew that if you looked up to face him, he would see your tears and you couldn't afford to look weak.

_

That was 2 months ago. Even after that interaction, and the countless times Jean has talked about Mikasa to you, your crush on him never faltered.

Your relationship with Marco got stronger though, seeing as you could talk to him about Jean. You could talk to Marco whenever and he gave really good advice too.

But today you felt good. You had had a few quite romantic interactions with Jean in these past few days, so you decided it might've been time to confess. And seeing as titans are still a threat, better late than never right? You decided to talk to him after lunch, without everyone around. You told Marco your plan to confess beforehand, just so he'd know and he was supportive and hoping the best.

When everyone started packing up and leaving the lunch room, you tapped Jean on his shoulder.

'' Hey, can i talk to you? Alone? '' you said, your heart beating faster with each word. Jean didn't seem as happy as you though. He didn't even look you in the eye. He looked behind you, as if he was looking for someone else.

'' Mhmm '' He hummed, still not looking at you. You're not even sure if he heard what you said. You sat back down and started to think of the exact words you were going to say. Soon the lunch room was empty exept for you and Jean.

'' So..why i wanted to talk to you was- '' you started but were cut off by Jean himself.

'' Can you wrap it up..please? I need to find Mikasa to ask her something. '' His eyes seemed to lit up and his cheeks turned the slighest bit red when he mentioned Mikasa. You felt a deep pit in your stomach. You had thought his crush on her had faded because she never showed any interest towards him.

You opened your mouth to answer but found yourself with a lump in your throat, unable to talk. The tears started welling up in your eyes and you couldn't bear it any longer. You stood up and left without a word, leaving Jean alone. You walked all the way to the boy dorms where Marco lived. You knocked and awaited an answer. As soon as the door opened you walked right in with your head down, to Marco's bed.

Marco was sitting in his bed, reading something, but stopped as soon as he saw you. He scooted over, making place for you to sit. As you sat down you broke down in sobs, and he put his arm around you. You leant into his chest and let it all out. You couldn't care less if all of the boys in this dorm were looking at you right now, which they probably were.

After you calmed down a bit, you told Marco what'd happened. He said Jean was a fool for not listening, wether he liked you back or not it was straight out rude to ignore you like that. You and him stayed in each others arms for a while longer until you spoke up.

'' I should probably go back to my dorm now.. '' you said, tho you didn't want to leave. It was nice being with Marco, he made you feel safe. '' You could stay here if you'd like. If Commandant Shadis found you outside at this hour there is no telling what he'll punish you with. ''

'' Are you sure? I don't want the others to think anything weird. '' You said. Sure you wanted to stay here but what if the other guys would start rumors?

'' They wont say anything. Now come on. '' He made place for you on the bed. Luckily the bed was big enough for two people, so you had enough space. You laid down next to him, but facing the wall. You doubt you'll get much sleep considering you still had many tears left to let out, and the fact that you have to face Jean sooner or later didn't make your thoughts any lighter. You felt a hand on your shoulder. '' Y/n, stop thinking about him and close your eyes. ''

You did as Marco said, and moments later you fell asleep.

[trickstarbrave]

i dont wanna bug op but like

to the person who rbed from me specifically and posted these tags:

#this is hilarious because dricing the speed limit is not gonna get you hit..#you really think ppl will rear end you because Youre drivimg the speed limit?#do you understand that if you get rear ended it is quite literally always their fault unless they have PROOF#that you intentionally break checked them?#rear end is always the person in backs fault i havent ever heard it ruled another way and thats how my accident was ruled w no investigation#no one will read end you because they know it would ruin their life#theyd be out a car theyd get a ticket and possibly arrested you sue them and then they cant ever replace that car#literally they cant because the used car market is nuts#no one is going to hit you guys like cmon thats the worst excuse ive ever heard#you guys are really so impatient that travelling 20x the speed you could generate on your own is too much??#jesus christ...#this is why i dont make friends this behavior is ridiculous and if i get in a car w someone and their speeding all over#im getting out of the car and were not friends anymore like you dont invite someone in your vehicle and drive unsafe w them

you are correct that getting rear ended is almost always gonna have you ruled as Not At Fault. i actually recently got hit in the rear of my car. cops ruled me not at fault. i had to CHASE DOWN THIS WOMAN'S FUCKING INSURANCE TO GET THEM TO PAY FOR MY CAR. and do you know what they said? they said the car wasn't worth fucking fixing. they said it was totaled. it wasn't even that fucked up. but apparently repairs were FAR beyond what the car was worth despite buying a new vehicle costing WAY MORE THAN THAT. this debacle took literally MONTHS trying to resolve. eventually i had to get my dad involved, go to MY insurance, get the money up to what they determined my fucking car was worth, and then pay for the rest of the repairs out of fucking pocket.

i guess i could have chased this old woman down in small claims court for the fucking difference but 1. i dont think the court would have given a shit and decided its MY problem my vehicle is apparently worth only 1k dollars 2. she's an old woman that only hit me because she had fainted earlier, was trying to show her friend how to back up the car bc her breaks were fucked up, accidentally hit the gas too hard while disoriented, and hit my car. she was already at fault for her friend's medical bills. do you think i wanted to be the bad guy hounding some old woman for fucking money.

also like. it doesn't matter if they are at fault and we are going at the designated highway speed limit of 65-70 mph here. that is going to completely destroy the back of my car, potentially flip my vehicle or at the very least cause me to go off road, and i might actually die. "oh that won't happen grow up--" ive been in a near fatal car accident WITHOUT someone fucking read ending me on the highway. my wheel locked up when i was trying to make a pass and i ended up going off road and crashing into a tree. i was lucky it wasnt me going off road off a fucking mountainside bc those are common here and would have meant absolute certain death. sure they will go to jail for manslaughter but i dont want a pyrrhic fucking victory jackass i wanna live

i have driven the speed limit before. i had ppl up my fucking ass who then pass me and flip me off or deliberately made a point to drive close to the side of my vehicle in a passing lane to intimidate me. "but thats illegal they can't do that" astute observation shithead. do you think when i am worried about Not Dying as someone who has Nearly Died In A Car Accident Before because some jackass has decided killing both of us is a valid response to a mild inconvenience i wanna try and get their fucking license plate and call the cops who will tell me "we'll look into it" and do fucking nothing?

i would really genuinely love to not live in a shit place like this. our car centric infrastructure is also done in a way that de-incentivizes actually going the speed limit for most ppl (did you know ppl slow down if the streets are more narrow naturally? yeah they also speed the fuck up if there are like 7 fucking lanes on this road). people here drive like maniacs. i've also nearly been killed for even dumber reasons than someone deciding to ride my ass down the highway like coming to a complete fucking stop on the highway leading to me having to swerve into 2 other lanes. and i was GOING THE SPEED LIMIT DURING THIS INCIDENT.

tl;dr:

"someone might rear end you bc u live in a place with insane ass drivers? yeah right thats illegal, people can't do that!"

[actualbird]

nxx team at a sleepover low stakes all-nighter stakeout mission or something, bear with me, i just have thoughts on who would last longest in staying awake

this post started out as a joke and then turned into a found family feels fest. bon apple teeth!

wc: 1k

-

marius is awake nearly the entire time because this is usual shit for him

this mf sleeps 6-5 hours normally w only 5 minute naps in between, so hes been trained via his Hell Schedule for minimal sleep. 

this plus whatever stakes is going on for the stakeout basically ensures hes gonna last a long time. 

he’ll be the 4th to sleep, and if he had ever gone to a sleepover with friends when he was a kid (he hasnt, everybody either hated him or was using him, marius, how come every time u talk about ur childhood it makes me wanna cry?) he’d only pass out at like 4am because hes got a Lot of energy and needs to burn it all before sweet sweet unconsciousness hits him over the head.

-

artem is awake for a while as well because hes a caffeine addict who has regular insomnia problems 

he is 3rd to sleep, succumbing at around 3am. 

he honestly would have slept earlier but then marius, who was burning off his own energy by asking countless inane philosophical questions, had asked him one of those said inane philosophical questions

marius asks, “hey, do you think worms dream? do you think they wonder about their place in the grand scheme of things?” 

and those questions inexplicably send artem into a spiral of overthinking his place in the universe 

like oh god, do worms dream? do worms also worry constantly about how theyre existing and being fearful that tomorrow theyll make wormy mistakes thatll forever tarnish the record of their whole wormy lives?

when artem passes out, he dreams of cartoon worms in court. the worm judge, who has the voice of his father, says “court is now in session. all writhe.”

-

vyn is asleep by 8pm. end of sentence.

he is the 1st to sleep. he is not going to be participating in whatever kind of superiority of “ha, i stayed awake longest!” because he thinks thats stupid as hell and hes right, having a fucked up circadian rhythm is Not something to be bragging about. Get Help, People.

he tells mc to wake him up once hes needed or when something important happens and then he curls up into a sleeping bag and sleeps like a fucking rock

nothing is getting through to him the moment hes shut his eyes, with the caveat of mc’s order for him to get up, because for all of the rightful value vyn puts upon sleep, he is also rightfully whipped for her. if she says wake up, he’ll be doing it

doesnt mean he has to enjoy it, but he’ll do it

-

mc sleeps only after she makes luke PROMISE, CROSS HIS HEART to sleep at some point during all this and let somebody else take a shift

because luke “ive done a ton of stakeouts before, i dont need sleep!” pearce is hugely stressing her out. they will lightheartedly argue about this for HOURS until midnight when mc finally makes him promise. 

marius: oooooh, she got ya there buddy. you gonna break a promise?

artem: thats like breaking the law

luke: what? no it isnt

artem: it is for this situation. and the punishment will be severe

vyn, sleeptalking elegantly: life sentence....

mc: IVE GOT 3 //pauses to look at vyn and his questionable wakefulness. IVE GOT....2.5 WITNESSES. promise! and no breaking it!

luke: fiiiiiinnneeee >:/

so luke promises. That! Is! All!

and mc goes to sleep, the 2nd one of the group to fall asleep, w a smug smile on her face, very happy shes won a battle of Help Luke Not Be Too Much Of A Self Sacrificing Bastard

-

luke sleeps last, but this surprises him because he wasnt planning on “sleeping” at all 

and he’d like it on record he technically wasnt planning on breaking mc’s promise, he WAS gonna take like some uhhhh micronaps, shut his eyes for 3 minutes at a time. technically thats sleeping, right? so he hasnt broken the law-promise!

(if mc wasnt asleep and artem wasnt trapped in an absurdist worm legal drama dream, they wouldve ripped luke apart)

so hes up for the entire night, until everybodys fallen asleep, and he knows theyre all trying to help but he needs to keep them all safe. he needs to play the role of protector, and with everybody snoozing, the role is solely his

then vyn wakes up and luke is like What

luke: What. i thought you dont get up until the sun is up?

vyn, grumbling: usually, that’s true, but a certain somebody had advised me before all of this that you might be planning on playing arbitrary hero, and unlike you, i do keep my promises to her

marius: oooooohh, nice burn from vyn!

luke: why are YOU awake

marius: i had some of mc’s energy drinks awhile ago, and, in hindsight, that was a mistake! dude, check out how im shaking

luke: oh my god

marius: dyou think worms get the jitters as well?

artem: stop making me think about worms

luke: aaaaand youre awake too. uh you look a bit.....are you ok? 

artem, haunted: no. go to sleep. we’ll cover the rest of the night

and luke is just about to try and find a way out of once more but then mc, in her sleep, attacks luke w a sleepy koala hug. he is trapped. and

well, he cant help but feel all tired and sleepy when hes in her arms. he feels safe. he cant help it. 

mc, sleep mumbling: gotchaaaaa

luke, feeling so much love in his heart for her and also the others for teaming up for this: yeah, okay....you guys got me

luke’s final thought before sleep takes him is that maybe, in this team, they can take turns doing the protecting

-

bonus, after mc and luke are asleep

vyn: .....what were you saying about worms?

artem: please. please dont ask

marius: is it possible to have a seizure but in slow mo?

vyn: neither of you are healthy individuals

[wangxianficrecs]

Fic Finder

I just got back from my 2nd vaccination shot, so I might be down for the count for a couple days, and thought I’d get this up before that happened...

~*~

1.  Can you please help me find the modern AU where Lan Zhan finds and saves Wei Ying who is fugitive hiding from the law? I believe Lan Zhan is a famous musician or something. Thank you for this awesome blog! [You’re welcome!]

FOUND! by @notsobabblespace:  vintage youth by sami (E, 14k, wangxian)

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2.  Uh hi, there! :) Im not sure if I'm doing this right, please correct me if I'm not. But I need your help finding a fic, it is a fix-it I think, all I can remember was Lan Xichen and NMJ came up to the burial mounds to interrogate the Wen remnants about their treatment at the prison camp. And I think it was Granny or another Wen, that said something like, "He was the one that killed most of us, and yet he was the only one to show us mercy." By the way, I really love your blog! Is awesome! :) [Thank you!]

FOUND!  @fondofeveryprickle and @dulachodladh believe this one might be Cradle by Dragonesque (T, 196k, wangxian, WIP)

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3.  hi! thank you sm for doing all that you do for this blog 😫😫 life saver!!! i remember i had just got into the fandom and i found your blog and you were just starting out! so it’s been fun reading along to all the fics you read at the same pace 😆😆 [Aahhh, right???  It’s been a wild ride.]  anyway, i’ve been thinking about this particular fic and it was a modern au? it was in a world where when the people you love touches you, they leave some sort of colored mark on your skin, but for some reason wwx wasn’t getting any marks? i’ve been looking through my bookmarks, but i’m not even sure if i bookmarked it. was hoping if you or any of your followers could help me out? (funny that sometimes i’m in the comments finding fics, but it’s one of the times i can’t find one 😂) thx again!! ~ @chenqinglingkilledme 

FOUND! by @artemisisdiana and @lemoncakedesign:  leading tone by silencemostofall (G, 32k, wangxian)

FOUND!  @isi7140 alternatively suggests:  pastel by antebunny (G, 7k, wangxian)

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4.  hiii, so sorry to bother you but ive lost a fic aha. it was a modern au and lwj and wwx were students at a music college/conservatoire (possibly in america, i think??) and was a classic sort of a-yuan ending up on wwx's doorstep and lwj helping wwx coparent and things situation, i think there was a chapter when a-yuan got ill and had to go to the doctors? wasnt serious though, and maybe wwx and lwj got married? i think??. i cant remember many helpful details sorry, it was on ao3 tho

FOUND!  ❤️The Simplest Way Forward by harriet_vane (E, 71k, wangxian, my post)

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5.  Hello, I was wondering if you could help me find a fic I read awhile ago and lost? It was a Lan Qiren time travel fix-it, I've forgotten a lot of details but one I remember is that the time travel is never explained, and the last thing LQR remembers before waking up in the past is taking a sword to the chest to protect Xichen during battle. I believe he also decides to travel to Yiling to rescue bby WWX from the streets. Thank you!

FOUND!  by @unicornelia96:  Raising up Children into Fine Gentlemen by mondengel (G, 1k, wangxian, WIP)

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6.   Okay so I'm trying to find a fic? I think it was a fix-it fic? It's basically mianmian going to the burial mounds after standing up for wwx and I think she gets together with wen qing? Also wangxian happens! Idk much more than that, sorry. I hope you're well and having an awesome day!! Your blog is always helping so many people, thank you for doing this!! ❤ [You’re so sweet:  thank YOU!]

FOUND!  by the author herself:   Blooming in white by Lucky_Moony (T, 38k, wangxian)

FOUND!  @huans says it could also be It's What One Loves by dontcallmeking (T, 5k, qingmian?, wangxian, WIP)

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7.  Hi! I'm looking for this one fic I remember sort of vaguely. It's a Time-Travel one I'm pretty sure, though I don't know if it's completed or ongoing. The scene I remember is that wwx and lwj are in class with the guest disciples, when lqr orders wwx to recite the rules of Gusu. Which wwx does w/o problems, I think that lwj pipes up at some point to remind him that there are 3000 rules at the time, not 4000 yet. That's all I remember. I beg your aid, for you are my only hope. ~ @boringskull

FOUND! by @grannyweatherwaxshat:  It is a serious thing just to be alive by Itgoeson (E, 58k, wangxian) [chapter 2, specifically]

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8.  Hello! So I really want to find this fic but I can barely remember the details let alone the name. I really hope that those pieces that I recall can help in identifying it. So it goes like, I think WWX develops something like a phoenix core? Or like a core that can make him an immortal but he gives it up so that he stays with LWJ because an immortal can't live with a mortal? Or something like, I am literally desperate. Please help me find it!! :3

FOUND!  If One for you, then One for us by KusakabeNAyako (T, 85k, wangxian, WIP)

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9.  Hello, I’m not sure if I’ve read it first from your blog or I’ve randomly seen it on ao3. but can you and your followers help me find it? If i remember correctly it’s wwx having a temple and mo xuanyu visits to leave offerings or like he’s the one taking care of the place? I don’t really remember much of it so I can’t quite explain it but I hope my description helps somehow despite it being little and vague.

FOUND?  by @susuwatari-kompeito:  this house is loved by ribena (T, 15k, wangxian) except its lwj visiting the shrine and wwx and lsz are taking care of it (i don't think mxy is mentioned at all)

FOUND! @loremipsumflotsamandjetsam thinks it could also be splendor in the heart and glory in love by LunaChi_KuroShihone (G, 10k, wangxian, my post)

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10.  have you heard of a modern au fic where wwx’s username is wifi, lwj’s username is bluetooth, they used to play the same game but wwx stopped, but later joined back in a different name and gets recognized by lwj? tale ur time mojo and tysm!

FOUND!  by @cerisea-a and @angel-loving-star: between the lines by jywait (G, 19k, wangxian)

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11.  hi id like to ask you or your followers if you know this fic; it's an au where wwx hides up in burial mounds instead of fighting and then X years later sizhui and some other oc disciples of wwx meet up with ljy, jl, and the yi city arc. then all the juniors have to go to burial mounds where they are treated for corpse poisoning(?) I remember there was a badass moment where wwx was like hey take this part of a 3D array with you and it attaches to them. other ppl dont know sizhui is wwx's son. ~ @onesingledreamer

FOUND!  by @mikkeneko who says:   The Murder of Crows by cerbykerby (M, 108k, wangxian, series in progress)

~*~

12.  Hi! I don’t know if this is in your wheelhouse or not but I’m trying to find a fic! I specifically remember that after Wei Wuxian is reincarnated he heads back to Lotus Pier, after that Jiang Cheng has him dress as a woman to hide his identity. I know that for sure Jin Ling is like junior age and calls Wei Wuxian by aunt. I’m pretty sure they go to the Cloud Recesses at some point and Lwj is conflicted by the fact that he likes this young woman so much and how she reminds him of wwx. At one point someone assumes that jc and wwx are together and jc loses it at them. Any help would be appreciated! If this isn’t something you do then feel free to ignore me 🙏 ~ @birdisonmaximus [I just read this one!  I loved it.]

FOUND!  ❤️ By Any Other Name by ShanaStoryteller (not rated (G), 32k, wangxian, my bookmark)

~*~

13.  Hello! Hoping you can help me find a fic I've been looking for. LWJ and WWX were gods, with LWJ being a really high-up one and WWX I think being a fox? Anyway, somehow LWJ had to be mortal and experience heartbreak in order to improve his godly powers, and it was supposedly fated for mortal!LWJ to meet someone else but somehow WWX got in the way and ofc LWJ fell for him! So WWX was ordered to go back and break mortal!LWJ's heart, which he did, poor boy, though it all turned out ok in the end.

FOUND!  by @cerisea-a who suggests it might be:  Keep Me on Your Pillow by catbrainedschemes (E, 42k, wangxian)

FOUND! by @luxxeh98 who says it’s Ten miles of Lotus Flowers by Yukirin_Snow (T, 274k, wangxian)

~*~

14.  hello!!! do u know that fic where the juniors find a catalogue of lwj's expression like a book and they use it to like tell people what lwj is thinking? thank u!!

FOUND!  ❤️Important Distinctions by nagi_schwarz (T, 5k, wangxian, my post)

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15.   Hello, I hope you're well!! Would you mind helping me for a fic? It was like a modern WWX and mdzs-verse LWJ fic? Possibly a oneshot? LWJ gets stranded in a modern world and they get together, I believe at the end he like switches between the worlds because he & WWX are together?

FOUND! by @chenqinglingkilledme who thinks it’s an impromptu visit to the city by bosbie (T, 13k, wangxian)

~*~

16.  Hi Mojo, I'm looking for a fic where lwj gets married during the 13/16 years, with endgame wangxian. He either marries an oc or mianmian I think?? I don't really remember the details of it

FOUND! by @cerisea-a who suggests it’s The light of you will stay by orphan_account (M, 75k, wangxian, lwj/OFC)

FOUND! and @chenqinglingkilledme and @mythopoeticlicense offer  天���地大 (In This Boundless World) by flowerofgusu (E, 28k, wangxian, lan wangji & mianmian)

~*~

17.  Hi, I have a fic I'd love to find. Unfortunately the strongest detail I remember about it is LWJ being heavily pregnant while holding a conference as a chief cultivator. He may or may not have also gone into labor during that or similar event.

FOUND! by @dulachodladh:  The New Twin Jades of Lan by Hua22122315 (E, 9k, wangxian)   

~*~

18.  I’m looking for a wangxian fic that involved time travel and soulmate marks. Wwx writes lwjs name on his chest because he wants a soulmate but it becomes a real soulmate mark.

FOUND!   ❤️Fallen by Jaywalker_Holmes (M, 151k, wangxian, my post)

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19.  Hi there!! First off, thanks for running this blog, it's awesome and I'm very thankful! Second, I'm hoping you or your followers can help me find a specific fic where Wei Wuxian and Lan Wangji are married for political reasons because there's a war, but then Wei Wuxian gets captured and is a prisoner of war with the Wens (but he's assumed dead). It's an au setting, and I think the fic starts with Lan Wangji getting ready for a prisoner exchange in Yiling (?), which is where he finds out that Wei Wuxian is a POW and rescues him. There's also mention of Lan Wangji making taxes difficult for Jiang Cheng bc he's mad that the Jiangs don't seem to care about Wei Wuxian anymore. I can't seem to find it anymore and I'd love to read it again! Thanks so much!!! ~ @jediranger [This one was gifted to ME, so I know it and love it!]

FOUND!  ❤️Where the nightingales are singing, and a white moon beams.  by Moominmammashandbag (M, 33k, wangxian (series is 61k so far))

~*~

20.  Hey Mojo, I was hoping you or your followers could help me find this fic I read a while ago. Pretty sure it was a post canon fic, where wwx keeps flirting with ppl and lwj starts having doubts about their relationship. I think the juniors are there too.

P.S. your blog is a gift to this fandom, thank you so much for all the work you put into it!!  [Thank you, my dear, that is a lovely thing to hear!]

~*~

21.  hello mojo! thank you so so so much for all your hard work! i really appreciate all the amazing fic you rec! [I’m so glad!]  i'm looking for a fic. wwx is a demon and lwj is a cultivator, it's modern era and they're in a relationship but it's not serious. wwx sometimes goes away for a few days but always texts. then he disappears for several days and lwj worries. turns out su she illegally arrested him because he though he killed some women, but wwx was innocent because he feeds on yang energy not yin energy

FOUND!  by @artemisisdiana:  Care and Feeding by mrsronweasley (E, 17k, wangxian)

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22.  Hey, I love your blog it's so helpful!! Could you help me find a fic? It was a wangxian oneshot, I believe they were still teenagers at Cloud Recesses? Basically Wei Wuxian gets hit with a curse where he lies but the healer first diagnoses him with a truth curse and WWX says mean stuff about Lan Wangji and calls Lan Xichen his favorite Lan Brother, Xichen gets very angry and LWJ is hurt. JC later comes and asks him his opinion about JYL or her soup? And he says he doesn't like it/her and so they figure out that it's a curse where WWX has to lie?

FOUND!  by @unicornelia96:  A Kiss of True Love to break a Curse by Wangxian101 (T, 6k, wangxian)

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23.  hi mojo! i hope you’re doing well~ i can’t seem to find this fic i read where jin ling heard screams/saw bruises and tried to get wwx to divorce lwj for domestic abuse ?? but it’s really just wangxian having super hardcore sexy times SHSJSS

 [further detail from @mikkeneko:   I'm blanking on the title but I think I remember this one, if it's the one I think it is Jin Ling basically asks for Jiang Cheng to stage an intervention, which JC does even though he's super uncomfortable about it, and then when he realizes what's actually happening he's extremely annoyed at JL for bringing him in on this. (if that rings a bell for people)]

FOUND!  @flowerempowered thinks it could be Life is Very Long by Vamillepudding (T, 13k, wangxian)

~*~

24.  Hey so, you're an awesome blog and have provided me with MANY fics to ignore sleep with. [Ahaha, I feel a little evil, now!]  Anyway. I'm searching for a fic where wwx is a dragon and jc DOESN'T lose his core. lwj doesn't know wwx is a dragon for ages and gets courted by wwx as a dragon but rejects human wwx for Reasons To Do With The Sect. I just remember there being a scene with xxc showing up as a dragon and its 👌 if you or anyone can find it, I will literally sacrifice my metaphorical firstborn. ~ @obaewankenope

FOUND!  flame and rust by cl410 (M, 29k, wangxian, WIP)

FOUND!  @cerisea-a and @obaewankenope believe it is no other cloud compares to you by ectocosme (M, 125k, wangxian)

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25.  Hey!! I think someone once searched for a wangxian high school au where the school (including lwj??) wrote fanfic about wangxian and I wanted to ask if it had been found?? [I think so, but I can’t find it again!]

FOUND!  by @artemisisdiana and @chenqinglingkilledme:   Fanfiction and Reality by alli12345 (G, 18k, wangxian)

~*~

26.  Hey! I lost a fic and wanted to ask you if you know it. It's a time travel fic where wwx regains his memory while he is getting the invitation from caiyi when they're going to cloud recesses. He decides to disappear and I remember lwj feeling guilty about it. I'm not really sure about this part but I think lwj finds him several years later on a nighthunt. PS: thank you so much for running this blog! I have found so many great fics here️ [I’m so glad!]

FOUND! by @cerisea-a:  Strange Regrets by sunrise_and_death (T, 7k, wangxian)

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27.  Hi, I'm looking for an Untamed fic, maybe you'll be able to help. It's a canon divergence AU in which WWX doesn't lose his core, Jiang Fengmian lives and it's implied that his core was transferred to JC (heavily implied; JFM retires as the Sect Leader after that). This is absolutely not the most important part of this fic but it's a paragraph that I've got stuck in my head and now I'm searching for the rest @_@ Thanks in advance! ~ @otemporaetmores

FOUND? without break or decay by tunnelOFdawn (T, 2k, JFM/LQR, courtship, wooing, introspection, love)

~*~

[My ko-fi.]

[red-life]

the water bottle story??

okay. okay.

im not the best source on this since i wasnt invested in mcyt at the time, as this was back in december of 2019, and i had to double check this from wikis and stuff while adding on some of the super old posts id seen floating around back before mcytblr grew in size

oh, also, disclaimer: this story will include callmecarson, i dont support him nor do i want my blog and myself to be associated with him, but this story is a part of Fandom History and i think its important since its plausible for it to happen again in the future

alright, twitchcon of 2019 happened in late september, when minecraft had already hit its stride in its resurgence in popularity. minecraft mondays was still happening, and as a sort of timeline benchmark to the new people reading this, technoblade was whitelisted and played for a bit on smplive on august 26th, after week 10.

smplive was popular for the time, with its more popular members averaging over 1k-2k viewers, if i remember correctly (look, dsmp is insanely popular right now, hitting over 150k viewers for a chill stream is crazy, yknow? nowadays minecraft attracts enough attention for small streamers to match these numbers, but now is actually 2 years later than then)

the members who attended were callmecarson, wilbur soot, jschlatt, traves, cscoop... aaaand a bunch of others but the important ones here are carson and cooper

approximately 3 months later this is submitted to one of the smplive confessions account on twitter

TO BE CLEAR: this isnt real, this is apparently a copypasta from an obscure kpop incident, but it was a joke.

but the backlash to it was not, as the ccs, with a smaller audience, were able to see it, and, well

since this is from 2019, aka pre covid times, people could still go to cons and meet ccs often enough, which is part of how this was even believable

anyways the point of referencing this was to make a point about stan culture and meetups, not that i think any of you would actually take a water bottle (though i heard ranboo say one of his was stolen? i sorta remember him mentioning it?) but that parasocial relationships are parasocial relationships, and while actually meeting ccs definitely will put that into perspective for some people, others, like in the kpop community (not everyone, just as an example of a large community who have been able to meet their 'bias' i think thats the word) could just get... worse. and that ccs are gonna be on edge about it because of that, so be polite, nice, and keep in mind that this could be a reason theyre more distant, or whatever.

(feel free to correct me if i got anything wrong, i wasnt there but ive heard the war stories)

[single-malt-scotch]

it is funny seeing now what ppl have surged in popularity in fandom, namely the ppl i watched years back mindcrack era that i dont feel like even got that much attention in the (much smaller) fandom. like at least fandomwise i never felt like bdubs or etho were that popular in regards to fics and stuff, mostly comparing to others at that time- tho bdubs and his later roleplaying (bteam) did gain him more attention i think. and like, nebtho was certainly a dyanmic ppl liked but it was otherwise pretty contained to those few moments and the fics were very much nonexistent even tho that fun pair. when i did see etho it was often with team canada as a whole. and in similarity w bdubs i feel like etho got more attention during more of that kinda phase (but nothing comparable to now). and ofc im speaking from experience of the ever tiny tumblr community... undoubtedly ppl leaned towards certain guys and it just kinda encouraged more focus on those people.

but i was curious if i could see how correct my memories were. while ao3 is a thing with tags im not sure if itd be skewed due to other things these people are in, so i thought itd be interesting to go to the salad and take a look since it was one of the most contained places for mindcrack fics i used back then

(under the cut bc this got even longer. sorry i can shut up abt fandom analysis and how things change <3)

some of these tags usages can be like... minor appearances. but at first i was surprised to see bdubs with a whole 478 tagged fics... but then the etho tag has a whopping 895. i think hes mentioned in a lot of fics in passing, but still thats a lot more tagged than i wouldve thought in the end. but i can say i really do remember bdubs getting very little attention in the fic area back then so. some of the other notably highly tagged people were beef (601), guude (753), kurt (731), nebris (662), pause (715), vechs (985), and zisteau (860).

leaving vechs at #1, etho at #2, and zisteau at #3. i was not a vechs reader but goddamn he really was everywhere fandom wise i recall, so that adds up. z and etho were definitely people i saw getting more attention at the end of my mindcrack era too (mostly z with vechs). of course some of this again should be taken w a the note that there are likely a lot of background appearances/minor ones. regardless, to know that even some of them were mentioned enough to add up like that is kinda wild when you think about it. i had some blinders on because i cared mostly about kurt and zisteau, and no surprise they have been tagged 700-800 times either- sms wasnt the most popular, but i know it came up quite a bit.

i did take a quick look at the mindcrack tag on ao3 but it houses wayyy less fics (466 right now) than the salad so, i guess its a better idea, mostly because it is what was popular back when these ppl werent as popular!

but in terms of now??? what got me back to watching these guys was being surprised at a post about bdubs that had like, 5k notes. so obvious things have changed A Lot. i mean hell. the salad has 2,578 fics tagged. ao3 has ummm 10k+ hermitcraft fics and 3k+ last life fics.... and for both etho and bdubs, theyre tagged in over 1k hermitcraft fics (2k, if you count last life as separate). actually an even more amusing comparison is Doc- on salad theres 213 tags and hes never someone i considered writing about or reading about (shockingly i did write him once) but in the hermitcraft tag on ao3 hes up as one of the most tagged with 1,940.

i find it so interesting how things change direction. bdubs was kinda early on the rping ideas and its no shock people caught on to him more- but etho is someone im surprised has exploded in popularity now? but also not? like im surprised interest like now didnt catch on until recently. the way people have molded a character and Vibe with him now Makes Sense. i think i always saw him in similar ways years ago, but that fandom attitude hadnt caught up, the fanbase was too small. but its wild to go from a few sporadic fics focused on one of these guys to like..... very very consistent interest, headcanons, fan art, fics, etc. fucking wild.

[angelicmichael]

living after midnight

Brooke Thompson x Montana Duke

Summary: Brooke and Montana get a bit intoxicated and get a bit carried away while going night swimming. Based off this post I made a week ago hehe

Words: 3.1k+

Warnings: mentions of alcohol and also vague mentions of weed, stripping (no nudity tho LOL), lotssss of sexual tension, lots of fluff, slowburn, friends to lovers, weird yearning angst for like .02 seconds lmao

A/N: Hey guys, sorry if this is random but I got random inspo for brotana so.. here this is lmao. Believe it or not I did try to make this under 1k words but.. I got carried away so I’m sorry that’s it’s long 😭. But the fic happens sometime after Brooke and Montana meet but before any camp redwood fuckery happens lmao. Anyway I hope y’all like this!! This is also probably the fastest I’ve ever written a fic so I hope it’s atleast decent haha. Anyway enjoy <3

A gentle breeze danced against Brookes exposed skin. The midnight air cold on its own regard but it seemed to blend perfectly with the extensive heat that radiated from the bonfire she sat in front of.

The night was entirely pitch black. The moon was vacant from the sky, leaving the only source of light to come from the giant fire that sat at Brookes shoes.

It was admittedly a bit unsettling being in almost the total darkness, especially with how many girls had recently gone missing in L.A as of late but the beer in her system had mostly put those thoughts to rest. Plus, being with three men and Montana was also reassuring. Even if she didn’t exactly know Xavier, Chet or Ray that well but.. she knew Montana.

It was nearly impossible to forget about how they met.. in the girls locker room in the showers and well; it’s not as if things were any less weird now. Showers or not.

It’s not as if Brooke and Montana were best friends or super close, because that definitely wasnt the case; but they weren’t acquaintances either by any means. The weird tension and ‘playfulness’ that lied between them ruled out being friends.. or that’s Brooke liked to think anyway when she had one too many things to drink. Like now.

Her legs twitched a bit restlessly; content at the ambience that surrounded her but not content with her current state of being. Like how she knew she should be enjoying herself, drunk, not caring about particularly anything at all but instead all she could do was fucking care. Her thoughts were purely infiltrated with Montana and it was embarrassing, to say the least but now that she was intoxicated there was really no harm in fighting it. No matter how annoying and taunting those thoughts truly were.

After all, Why should she not think about how nice it would be to feel Montana’s hands (which she knew had to be soft and delicate) on her waist and down her back? Why should she not think about Montana’s soft lips moving against her own, a few strands of her bleached hair (which definitely had lost it softness due to excessive over bleaching) brushing up against her face accidentally?

That was a rhetorical question; because she knew exactly why she avoided those type of thoughts on a normal day to day basis. Not because it would make things awkward between them but because it was beyond fucking painful to imagine scenarios that would never happen.. Never.

The smell of the fire and the sounds of the wood crackling, which was far too dry and poorly stacked (neither Xavier, Chet or Ray could build a proper fire to save their life), helped bring Brooke out of her thoughts and bit more into reality. So did the gentle sway of the tree branches which she could see in her peripheral vision, since they were right on the cusp of a forest that cut off to a beach. Ocean waves which slowly dragged across the sand were also soothing to listen too, albeit distant over the sound of Brookes friends screaming and laughing and being heavily intoxicated over what was more than just alcohol and weed.

Brooke reached down and swiftly grabbed the beer can which was previously lodged upright in the sand. Lifting the can up to her lips and cringing and unconsciously tensing up as she swallowed until the can was nearly weightless - wiping her mouth with the back of her hand just to see-

“Montana?!” Brooke nearly yelled. Both alcohol and temporary shock making her speak way louder than what was realistically needed.

Montana, who was previously standing several feet away with the boys was suddenly seated right next to Brooke on the log with no warning. Probably having moved over while Brooke was poorly chugging the alcohol she hated.. but she couldn’t help but to notice that their thighs (as well as basically their entire sides) were touching as she tried to wipe the alcohol that had embarrassingly dripped down her front in a frenzy.

Chet and Xavier looked back at them from a few feet away as they smoked what Brooke knew had to be a joint. Briefly laughing and giving the pair of women an amused glance before turning around and immersing themselves in whatever conversation they were previously having.

Brooke sheepishly met Montana’s gaze, feeling her cheeks grow nearly unbearably hot at the awareness that she was now being watched.. studied almost.

“Sorry,” Brooke added with a giggle.

Montana responded with a slight upturn of her lips; amused with Brookes actions not because she found it necessarily funny or pitiful, but for the sole reason that.. it was cute and endearing that Brooke couldn’t really hold her alcohol for shit.

It made her unique and different from everyone else Montana acquainted herself with. People that Montana had to basically learn to keep up with.. but Brooke on the other hand was different.. She was a breath of fresh air, and that’s why Montana assumed she was so attracted to her (besides her looks, of course).

Montana tried her best to ignore and not be bothered by the fact that Brooke was wasting perfectly good alcohol by wiping it off herself (alcohol that Montana wouldn’t necessarily mind licking off Brookes lips.. or her neck, or really anywhere else off of her). Instead focusing on how suffocated she felt here.

It wasn’t necessarily anyone’s fault. After all; she loved Chet, Xavier and Ray dearly but.. they were also undoubtedly preventing anything from happening between her and Brooke.. and that needed to change.

Montana huffed. Her deep brown eyes quickly flickering at the flame and then Brooke before speaking.

“Im bored,” she announced. Suddenly standing up and not letting her eyes break the gaze she suddenly held with Brooke.

Brooke responded with a simple hum. Her jaw quickly dropping once she noticed that Montana’s bright red nails quickly darted down under her own shirt. Hooking the material under her fingertips before quickly raising the shirt up and over her head. Throwing it back somewhere behind the log Brooke still sat on.. somewhere where Brooke was almost certain Montana wouldn’t be able to locate later.. which was probably done on purpose.

Brookes jaw still stayed ajar when she saw Montana’s hands automatically fly down to the small jean shorts she was wearing. She could do nothing but watch as she saw the button unhook- wait.. what exactly was happening?

“Montana, what are you doing?” Brooke asked with a laugh.

Brooke tried her best to fight the urge to look at her friend who was now well.. in her bra and underwear, out of what she was trying to convince herself was respect, but it wasn’t working. She knew for a fact her cheeks had to burnt bright fucking red; she tried to laugh off the feeling but Montana still stared.. her smile slowly growing wider until sudden laughter momentarily broke the tension again.

Brooke and Montana both looked behind them just to find the boys laughing and whooping as well at Montana’s sudden lack of clothes.

Brooke smiled back at them but it only lasted a second before she found herself overtaken with a emotion she never really felt around Montana before.. was it jealousy?

Just the sight of them staring at Montana (who obviously didn’t give a fuck, or was thriving off the attention more than anything) was enough to make Brooke stand up.

“Go swimming with me?” Brooke suddenly proposed. More than certain that her sudden impulsivity was coming from the alcohol more than anything.. it had to be, right?

Brooke looked Montana in the eyes again as she watched the other woman’s expression suddenly change at her words; looking utterly shocked and.. maybe a bit thrilled.

“You want to go swimming?” Montana nearly sneered, her tone reeked off utter disbelief, “and what are you gonna wear?”

Brooke laughed at what the other woman was implying. Her dark brown eyes slipped down to admire the rest of Montana’s body that she dared not to look at previously. Only looking for a second at the matching cherry red set that Montana wore. A bra which was most definitely too tight and cut a bit small, along with a thong with sat a bit high on her hips which only accentuated her figure even further.

She didn’t have time to think; her eyes darting back up to meet Montana’s which she knew were watching her.

“I’m not going naked-“

“You don’t have too. It’s not like their gonna see us anyway once we get away from the fire. Here.”

They both spoke in hushed whispers. Weirdly paranoid that maybe the boys would overhear and wanna join which- was something they both clearly didn’t want, although unspoken.

The distance between them was minimal enough due to alcohol (and other substances in Montana’s case) running high in their systems. Making personal space something that was now nonexistent.

Montana extended her hand out to Brooke to take. She quickly grabbed her hand, hoping desperately it wasn’t sweaty from how close they were to the fire and also.. just from the situation she was bound to find herself in. But due to Montana’s reaction (or lack thereof) she knew she had nothing to worry about.. sweaty palms or not, she knew Montana wouldn’t judge her. No matter how insane the circumstance; Brooke always felt safe around Montana. That’s why she supposed she was currently following her into the pitch black - her vision getting more and more sparse as they walked away from the fire and into some nearby trees that framed the beach..

“Are you sure they can’t see me?” Brooke asked, trying her best to look through the trees and see if any of her friends happened to be looking but - she couldn’t really make out anything besides the subtle outline of her surroundings which included Montana.

“They can’t see you. Relax,” Montana said with a giggle. “Now do I need to help you undress? Your taking forever and I’m hot- and it’s not like I haven’t seen you wearing less-“

Brooke tried her best to look offended and shocked by her reference to how they met. She knew that normally with nothing in her system she would’ve easily sidestepped Montana’s ruthless flirting but.. something felt different about tonight. After all; why should she keep trying so hard to resist something they both felt? And it wasn’t like anyone could see them anyway..

Brooke quickly turned her head to where she knew Montana was and stepped closer until they were barely a foot apart. Her feet nearly stumbled on Montana’s from the proximity; biting her lip to prevent herself from stupidly giggling once she felt hot breath on her cheek.

She grabbed Montana’s hands which first held hers back limply but briefly held hers tighter before Brooke directed her hands on her shirt.

“Take it off,” Brooke uttered. Her voice barely audible but not quite loud enough to be discerned as a whisper.

Montana didn’t hesitate as she quickly took Brookes shirt off, barely feeling the soft fabric against her fingertips before she quickly threw it behind them into the forest. Montana didn’t wait for Brooke to say anything before her fingers were quickly undoing the button and the zipper of her jean shorts which were only thrown somewhere in the forest as well (hopefully near her shirt.. Brooke could only hope).

Brooke tried her best to not look bothered by her sudden lack of clothes but she also knew that was purely idiotic since they were in the pitch black.

Nevertheless she looked down at herself, trying to discern whether her figure was actually visible or not but Montana grabbed her hand again. Making her gaze snap upward as she led her out. She knew they were going out to the water now; the sand under her feet and the fire now visible from a distance as they continued to go out. The sand becoming more grainy and nearly painful to step on as they got closer to the water.

Brooke quickly looked over her shoulder before she took the first step in - still holding onto Montana’s hand. She quickly glanced to see if any of the men they had came with were watching but surely enough they were still talking and laughing as if they didn’t even notice they had gone missing.. and they probably hadn’t given how fucked up they were.

Perfect.

She continued to hold onto Montana’s hand as she went further and further into the water; not phased by the sudden coolness she felt as the water wrapped around her legs.. submerging her further and further until they both finally stopped. The water lapping around Brookes waist, and well, nearly Montana’s chest since she was a few inches shorter than Brooke.

The water seemed to be a perfect temperature despite them being at the ocean; and the rocks had since disappeared under their feet and changed back into soft sand which also made the current situation a bit more enjoyable.

Brooke tilted her head back a bit, worried momentarily that her hair might get wet but it was worth it. It was absolutely breathtaking.

The night sky which previously looked completely black and void of any light whatsoever was now painted with what looked to be a million stars.

“Do you see this?” Brooke asked.

“What, the stars?” Montana answered, her voice holding a bit of amusement to it and almost as if she was trying to hold back a laugh.

“Yeah,” Brooke affirmed with a nod. Still keeping her gaze fixated to the night sky.

“What about them?” Montana asked.

The water rippled a bit as Montana started to a take a few steps closer towards Brooke, dissatisfied at the distance between them.

“Nothing. I just- it’s beautiful. I never do things like this,” Brooke responded, tilting her head down to make eye contact with Montana as she finished her sentence.

Montana smirked.

“Never?” She asked with a laugh. “C'mon. I’m not wet enough, let’s go deeper.”

Before Brooke could protest, Montana grabbed both of her hands and pulled her deeper in the water.

“But I didn’t bring a towel!”

“Your not gonna need one. We can warm up by the fire, remember?”

They continued to keep wading until the water almost spilled over Montana’s shoulders. The water barely touching Brookes collarbones but getting some of her hair wet regardless.

She hesitantly let go of the other woman’s hand in the water, intent on using her hand to help her gain balance since a few rocks were still on the ocean ground but - the exact opposite happened.

Brooke didn’t even have time to gasp or scream before her left foot quickly slid on a random rock that just.. of course.. had to fucking be there. Her hands quickly landed on Montana’s shoulders; the rest of her body accidentally falling into the other woman’s but she only felt Montana’s hands suddenly grab gently at her back. Holding her in place against her body.

Brookes eyes instinctively closed shut but when she slowly opened them and reluctantly lifted her head higher up (silently cursing herself for accidentally getting her hair almost entirely wet now) she noticed.. how close they were to each other.

Her nose was only centimeters away from Montana's shoulder.. which meant-

“Are you okay?” Montana asked softly, speaking unintentionally right next to her ear which made a shiver run up Brookes spine.

“Mhm,” Brooke responded.

She rose her head up further - her vision fully black now due to closing her eyes so tightly and being disoriented from slipping, but she knew from hearing Montana’s voice that she had to be close. Very close.

Moving her head a bit to the left.. almost microscopically, not wanting whatever ‘this’ was to necessarily be clumsy but she knew she didn’t necessarily have a choice in the dark.

“What are you doing?” Montana continued to whisper.

Brooke couldn’t help but to smile and let out a giggle that made her sound far more drunk than she actually was. She knew exactly where Montana’s lips were now due to her speaking. Thank god.

“You’ll see.”

Brooke leaned in slowly. Briefly bumping noses before catching Montana’s lips with her own. The feeling so heavenly and overdue - not enough but simultaneously far too much to take in all at once.

The taste of dull, gut wrenching beer started to flood her mouth. It was all that Montana basically tasted like.. that and a bit like smoke but Brooke didn’t mind. If anything it made the feelings of infatuation temporarily stronger. Brookes nails started to pierce the other woman’s back; wanting nothing more than to just have.. more. More of Montana; her taste, her hands, her touch.. the feeling was both pathetic but impossible to fight any longer.

The mere thought that this was something she was previously holding herself back from having was almost laughable but- that would be something to think about for another time.

Montana’s lips softly broke from hers.

“Eager.. aren’t you?” She teased.

Brookes eyes still refused to adjust but she knew Montana had to be grinning.

“Sorry.. I just-“

“Don’t be sorry. You have no idea how long I’ve been wanting to do that,” Montana said lowly.

Montana suddenly leaned in with no warning. Her hands softly grabbed Brookes shoulders; leaning in to pull her bottom lip with her teeth.

After she let go, the feeling to kiss her again was strong but.. she thought of something better. The thrill of the chase was something Brooke always enjoyed, after all.

Brooke took a few steps back suddenly before quickly heading for the shore. Not really going that fast at all due to the resistance of the water pushing up against her legs but she laughed regardless.

She could hear Montana laughing and calling her a jerk in the distance but it was all just noise at this point. Her voice, the water rushing, the fire and their friends (which grew gradually louder as she approached) all started to sound the same.

Maybe the alcohol was finally kicking in.

Even though Brooke definitely felt tipsy, she still felt nervous the closer she got from being fully submerged out of the water. Maybe it was due to the fact she wasn’t certain what was going to happen at the fire, or if their friends had even heard anything but she knew atleast now she would have Montana. Exactly how she had Montana was something to be determined later, but as she finally stepped out and away from the nearly black ocean waves and ran up to the fire to go wait for Montana - she was comforted by the thought that things would now never be the same and forever would be different between the two of them.

Which had to be a good thing; right?

Taglist: @michaellangdonstanaccount @langdonsexual @jimmason @blakescoven @dark-mei-rose @9layerdevilfoodcake @prophecy-is-inevitable @matildaofoz @beautyiswithinchaos @frenchlangdon @king-with-no-crovvn @melodylangdon @littledemondani @celestialrequiem @sojournmichael @ritualmichael @waitinvain @twilightzone24

Let me know if u would like to be added or removed to the taglist hehe

[luvspence]

too invested

spencer reid x reader

synopsis: y/n attempts to make her ex jealous, by faking a relationship with spencer

[ y/n is penelopes assistant, and her ex is someone else who works at the fbi, think penelope and kevin ]

word count: 1k

master list

———

you were usually high energy, walked with a pep in your step, a sway in your pony tail

but today you walked in, slumped in, with yesterday’s make up

you dragged yourself into the round table room , you still had a little mascara stained on your cheek

spencer was early, (as always) and greeted you as you walked in

“hey-, oh jeez are you okay?”

you gave him a death glare

“i’m fine”

“clearly you aren’t”

he handed you a baby wipe from his satchel to wipe off the mascara from your cheek

“elijah”

spencer was clearly not getting it

“elijah copper, 28, co technical analyst from counter terrorism, nyu grad, 5’10, boyfriend for our very own y/n l/n, co technical analyst for the behavior analyst unit”

“ex boyfriend”

the knowledge hit him like a truck, he always wanted you to be happy, and clearly after this you weren’t. but he always secretly had a tiny crush on you

“oh i’m so sorry”

“yeah me too”

spencer didn’t know what to say, he just offered another baby wipe which you declined, and everyone else started to fill in

——

you went through stages

the “crying all the time” stage

the “nostalgia” stage

the “i don’t need him! boys suck!” stage

and you have now approached the “does he still care about me? does he even remember my name?” stage

you were in your office, spencer was passing by

“hey i got you coff- oh my god y/n what are you doing”

he caught you snooping through elijahs social media, text messages, searching key words like “y/n”

you closed out the tab

“heEEEY SPENCE”

you took the coffee from his hand

“y/n this isnt healthy”

“i know but look”

you shuffled around and showed him a picture of elijah and some girl

“i’ve been replaced and it’s only been three weeks”

“y/n they don’t even look like they share romantic feelings, they look like siblings”

“she works with him in counter terrorism, they always had something going on spencer i swear!”

he ruffled up your hair

“you’re so crazy”

he started to walk out and you chased him

“hey! am not-“

you were cut off my elijah walking down the hall, spencer next to you

you made eye contact with elijah and immediately looked at spencer and kissed him

you made it long and obvious, and to your surprised he kissed back

your eyes were closed but you opened one to check where elijah was, you saw him scurrying away, so you pulled away from spencer

“y/n???”

you pulled him by the collar into your office and shut the door

“look i’m sorry, but it was instinctual”

“WHY”

“elijah was right there!!!! and he replaced me it’s only fair if i replace him”

spencer just dumbly stared at you

“pertend to date me”

“HUH”

“pretend to date me! we can make elijah jealous. and after this phase subsides we can fake break up. no harm no foul”

spencer stood there silently, while he didn’t like to be used, he also didn’t mind kissing you

“hmm, okay, but you owe me”

“yes! i owe you so much thank you thank you thank you” 

you kissed him on the cheek which made him blush, and he walked out of your office

——

you and spencers “relationship” was going well

whenever you walked down the halls of the fbi together you held hands

whenever you answered the phone with elijah in the vicinity you called spencer pet names

whenever there was an fbi mandated presentation, you’d scoot up real close to spencer, lay your head on his shoulder and interlock fingers

sometimes in the hall you would kiss

you’d post pictures of him on your instagram story

your team knew it was fake, but they sure did get a kick out of it

“pretty boy and tech apprentice, a duo i didn’t know i wanted but i so badly needed” morgan says as he passed by you two in the hallways

and elijah reacted accordingly, doing the same thing you were doing with spencer with the girl from counter terrorism

and he even texted you one night

“i miss you”

but in this whole process you and spencer were getting really really close

you started to hang out together more outside of work, going to restaurants, to movies

this stage of the break up had basically subsided but you still found yourself holding hands with spencer

kissing him even though no one was around

calling him let names on the phone, saying i love you right before you hung up

going out together and not posting on instagram

we’re you getting invested?

you were getting too invested.

—-

you tried to distance yourself from spencer

remind yourself and him that your relationship was fake

you believed that his purpose was already served, you didn’t feel that way about elijah anymore

except you started maybe feeling that way for spencer

no matter how many times you’d walk away, spencer would still put his arm around you, kiss you even when no one was there, continuing to take you out to your standing friday night dinner

he was also way too invested

—-

you didn’t want to fall in love with spencer, and you were trying everything to stop it. but no matter what you couldn’t help but kiss him back, hold his hand and have long conversations with him

you finally decided enough was enough so you sat him down in your office

“spencer?”

“yes my love?”

“i think we need to e-end”

without even thinking you started to cry

“y/n? hey what’s wrong? what’s the matter?”

he said as he curled up next to you, wrapping his long arms around you and wiping your tears away

between sniffles you managed to get out

“i think we need to end t-this relationship”

spencer looked at you

“well y/n i respect you and what you want, but it doesn’t take a profiler to see that you don’t want this to end”

you huffed

“i wasnt planning on this, i just wanted to make elijah jealous!”

“planning on what?”

you shed another tear

“falling in love with you”

“what happened to ‘no harm no foul’??”

“that was a faulty decision”

he brushed the hair out of your face and held you face in his hands

“we should make this relationship real y/n”

“we should.”

he went down a placed a soft kiss on your lips

“i think we’re too invested in this spence””

[freebooter4ever]

i’ve seen the discussion going back and forth on boundaries and sexual objectification, and i don’t have much to add to the conversation other than to say everyone is allowed to determine their OWN ‘lines’ and just because we don’t vocalize them doesn’t make them any less valid. but here’s the limits i set for my blog if anyone feels it is important for them to know (<3):

personally I consider ‘characters’ fair game for anything goes, with ‘public personas’ a little more iffy. ‘RPF’ isn’t new - it just takes on a new more accessible/visible form nowadays. i remember reading my first fic about a ‘real person’ back in my LOTR fandom days - it was a story in first person perspective about the main character meeting orlando bloom on a plane before he was ‘famous’. like a lot of these types of stories, it wasnt so much about the person as it was about the meet cute. the actor was just a convenient placeholder with a handsome face and some personality quirks thrown in to make the romance/dialogue more specific. i personally dont read much xReader fic nowadays, but mostly only cause i’m an old fart who can’t relate to the ‘you’ format. i miss the good old days when people actually created OC’s and then inserted them into things LOL. but also LOL if you think i’ve gone an entire year of quarantine without some imagined personal fantasies of joe mazzello (or steve aoki in the years before)(ramilicious can attest to this. she can also attest to most of these fantasies ending in friendship rather than anything explicit cause that’s just how i roll these days lol). the line i draw is i would never post these types of fics in a place where the subject could accidentally find them - you have to go looking for this stuff on tumblr, most fics are given explicit ratings and under read-mores. with the blacklist tags it’s pretty easy to filter things out. its even easier to add filters to ao3 searches. i am NOT going to do something like message steve aoki and say ‘yeah i watched that movie Ibiza like five times, here is my 1k fic where you’re the dj and i’m the one night stand’. but obviously people still enjoy imagining scenarios like these otherwise movies like Ibiza wouldn’t exist?

for art, i consider anything already on display up for grabs, we all know a certain person’s ass is all over the place...all you have to do is google ‘need for speed’ and rami’s name. HOWEVER, in the case of actors i personally would not draw anything more explicit than what’s already there. i’m not gonna draw full frontal nudity for rami (unless he gifts us with it in a movie, i suppose) or anyone. this is 100% a personal choice for me. 

i was a sophomore or junior in college when i volunteered as a figure drawing monitor where i’d time the nude model’s poses and help them set up the stage and lighting and such. there was this one guy in his mid forties probably, a regular who came every week, and i always thought of him fondly till one day (the day after i ran into my Hot Programming TA during dinner and later sent him an email begging him to go on a date with me because i was desperate for kissing experience)(and Hot Programming TA emailed me back within minutes saying yes) this artist guy who i saw all the time and thought i knew fairly well, decided to draw me instead of the model. which would have been fine except he drew me naked. i was NOT naked at the time, i was wearing a shirt, and a bra, and a full prairie skirt with alternating calico and floral patterns. he drew what he imagined was underneath all that. he came up to me after the figure drawing session and showed me his drawings and told me i had been ‘glowing’ and my response was to laugh it off awkwardly and get the hell out of there as soon as i gave the model their pay check. but inwardly i was thinking a) i was NOT glowing for this creepy man twice my age and b) i did NOT give him consent to sexualize my body under my clothes and then SHOW me that objectification. i never said anything to him or anything else, i continued to be the monitor, and i continued to field off creepy advances from him including multiple job offers, but when i finally realized i could just...stop..and i passed the student volunteer monitor job on to my friend naeem, i also realized that what that older male artist did was NOT ok in my book. and it was probably not something he would do while naeem was monitoring.

nowadays im working in an industry that regularly objectifies female bodies. in the past year alone i have had to deal with requests to make breasts bigger, i have been given character rigs that in addition to the usual elbow, knee, and spine joints also have ‘nipple’ joints but ONLY for the women (to make them jiggle for animation), every time i send out a female pose i get it back with notes that push it further into the sexy type of body language reserved for women (twist the spine more! sway the back more! give it ‘energy!’), i have been told to erase wrinkles and fat and pores but ONLY for the women (men you ADD pores bc realism! and manliness!) and this is all me working for a company that is actually fairly progressive in terms of sexism compared to OTHER studios.

like it or not, sexual objectification is a huge part of specifically women’s lives and how we react to that is our business. for me, turning the tables and putting men on display feels like fair’s fair. i cant stop the men from doing it, so if i want to enjoy sexualizing male bodies, damn it im gonna! like dang it, boy do i want to send steve aoki a thank you note every time he posts a video of himself doing those ice baths during the sunset golden hour bc holy shit gorgeous or working out in his gym wearing VERY little clothes, but i dont because i know what its like when someone imposes their personal fantasies on the subject. or, god, there was that time i had to unfollow nicole’s insta for a while bc i had a very explicit dream about her and realized, shit, i need to take a break and get my emotions under control before i can refollow. and god some of the stuff i see dudes sending her during her live videos on mental illness/meditation is TOTALLY gross and not something they should be confronting her with. and she’s not even ‘famous’ famous. or how some fans send their idols explicit direct messages without consent. THAT feels inappropriate to me.

a part of me feels like i shouldn’t have to defend this. men don’t. they’re even encouraged in mass media to sexualize women. but i also recognize the importance of talking about consent. the importance of recognizing that a celebrity deserves to have their boundaries respected. these are my lines in fandom. other people have different lines they won’t cross, and that’s okay to me. i block or blacklist any blogs or tags i think go over the top.

heck, even in fandom-only spaces i still try to keep my own more sexual fantasies off this blog and only in private messages with my friends and mutuals, and i feel like that might come across as unintentionally prudish or judgmental sometimes. i’m not ‘horny on main’ very often. but like...every time i reblog that particular ‘washing machine’ gif of joe mazzello am i thinking about him naked and thinking about how he’s got very loooooong feet, and ‘gee i wonder if that means /other/ things are Too Big for my tastes’ but also ‘gosh wouldnt that make a pretty picture to draw’???? hell yeah.

i dont know who is gonna actually read this essay but yolo i guess :)

[playstation2horrorgame]

tag game

i wasnt tagged by @pomesa

but im an attention whore so why not

1. Why did you choose your url?

idk i was listening to it and was like oh thats a good name for my blog

2. Any sideblogs?

just hoarded urls from over the years

3. How long have you been on tumblr?

ive been on here on and off but i started around 2012ish

4. Do you have a queue tag?

i used to but i also never leave this site for more than 12 hours so its kinda useless

5. Why did you start your blog in the first place?

my friend kept showing my friend group memes and i wanted to follow her and now here i am

6. Why did you choose your icon/pfp?

i wanted something that would fit the blog aesthetic and bert always looks nice yknow

7. why did you choose your header?

idk i googled header aesthetics and i thought it looked good. i cant make decisions for shit

8. What's your post with the most notes?

back when i was scene i made a cobra starship post that got like 1k at some point

9. how many mutuals do you have?

idk like 10ish??

10. How many followers do you have?

602 rn

11. How many people do you follow?

i think like 900??

12. Have you ever made a shitpost?

im on this site arent i?

13. How often do you use tumblr a day?

idk like half a hour

14. Have you ever had an argument/fight with another blog?

who hasnt on here?

15. How do you feel about "you need to reblog this" posts?

i feel like unless its an important issue it just seems really guit trippy

16. Do you like tag games?

kinda but then i remember i have no one to tag in these

17. Do you like ask games?

yeah i feel like theyre a lot easier than tags but i never get asked the stuff in them

18. Which of your mutuals do you think is tumblr famous?

i dont think i have any famous mutals

19. Do you have a crush on a mutual?

love is fake and the only person i truly loved was stone cold steve austin

20. Tags

everyone i know has already been tagged but if you wanna do this game then do it