#this post brought to you by the time my mom started crying and looked betrayed

[chaserofstarsandtheabyss]

I have actually purposefully betrayed womanhood by being nonbinary, hope this helps

[leggerefiore]

The post about Emin crying due to being alone on the holidays broke my heart a bit, so if it is alright could I ask for some Christmas stuff (headcannons/dribbles/fic/whatever you like) for when Emin does have a s/o to spend the holidays with?

emin......... my beloved lonely boy

▲Emin▽

● He is unbelievably excited to be spending a holiday season with you. The poor Subway Boss squeezes you into a hug, and literally thanks you for staying with him, and likely begins to cry a little. He's overcome with strong emotions about everything. Please comfort him and remind him to schedule ahead for a day off. He will forget and then be heartbroken about having to work.

○ Emin basically begs you to help decorate with him, his big eyes staring desperately into you. You couldn't dare tell such a sweet man, “no.” He enters his talkative mood while you both work getting everything up. He's giddy as you hang up garlands, wreaths and bring out other decorative pieces. As you work together to place ornaments on the tree, he sighs happily. You don't miss how his arms comes around you, and he rests his head upon your shoulder. There's a dreamy, distant look on his face.

● Elesa sighs at the sight of you and him in matching sweaters. He's proudly at your side in it with a bright grin on his face. You seemingly had accepted your fate to match with him and leaned against him. Emin had always had a strange urge to match with someone who was finally fulfilled. His arm comes around you tightly. Elesa would later describe his expression as teetering on smug.

○ He cooks so much for you. This guy is working to make a full-course meal when it's just going to be the two of you (and maybe Elesa if she has the time herself). Emin had started cooking more after you both started dating, wanting to repay you for doing the same for him, but now he's gone a bit overboard. You take a place beside him in the kitchen to help him cook, and the day ends up passing into the evening before you both realise it. The meal, as it turns out, was actually also for his Depot Agents. A quiet meal for you two and something nice for the poor workers still out on Christmas. They all cheered for their boss when he brought you and the food to the station.

● He also makes you hot chocolate eagerly. It's smothered in whipped cream, but is perfectly mixed between a certain bitter chocolate flavour and sweetness. Emin is blushing when you tell him how wonderful it is. Your compliments mean the world to him. He teaches you how he makes it happily.

○ His favourite thing, however, is clearly the gift giving portion. You watched as boxes piled up under the tree through the month. A few were from you to him or your friends and family, but many were from him to you and his friends and family. It was clear this was something that excited him heavily. (He admits that it used to be all he could really do while working, but is excited to finally give gifts out properly.)

● You visit his parents, who are clearly overjoyed to see their son so happy. His mom pecks a sweet kiss on his cheek and hugs you tightly. She thanks you for making him so happy and helping to end his seemingly endless loneliness. Emin is deeply flustered by all her actions and words. Especially when she shares about having to tell Emin that the special Delibird wasn't real. “Oh, he was thirteen and so sad! He acted like we had completely betrayed him,” she recounted and pulled out a photo album of Emin in his youth, “Next year he became our prince of darkness.” Goth Emin in a Delibird hat made you laugh more than it should.

○ On the evening of Christmas day, he nervously held out a gift to you. It was small and wrapped wonderfully. The feeling of unwrapping it was a bit cruel yet exciting. Finally, opening the box revealed two plane tickets. “Ah… See, you mentioned being concerned with me working too much, right?” he nervously told you, “S-so I thought it might be a verrrrry good idea to go on a vacation. Together. To Alola!” You giggled at his reaction and placed a loving kiss to his lips. “That sounds wonderful… Are you sure your Joltiks will be okay without you, though?” you asked, recalling his odd fascination with breeding the arachnids. He smiled brightly and nodded. “Elesa said she'd be more than happy to help… She wants me to take some time off, too,” he explained. You took his hands in yours and sighed. Resting your forehead to his, you both felt at ease.

[nonokoko13]

Child!reader being adopted by spy x family characters Pt. 2

As I said in the previous part, these adoption headcanons are really specific, including your hypothetical pronouns and name; these two are extra so you can imagine yourself with your name and desired gender. You can ask for less specific headcanons if you want too. Part 1 here

Enjoy!

Sylvia Sherwood

How you met

She carries the responsibility of WISE, she needs to be committed to it. More than ever now that the peace was threatened every day by those who wanted war to arise again

She missed her family, but she overcame it. Just like the HQ she had to be impenetrable

At least, that's what she thought

Because right in front of her there was the question which answers she wanted to hear. A kid.

It would be normal to see one if she wasn't at the HQ

It didn't help no one knew there was a kid there until you spoke up

The camera system didn't record you and there wasn't any entrance to the agency that had been forced. You weren't any employee's kid either

After scolding them and order to search your parents she met you again

"Hello little one. May I ask you how did you get in here?"

You smiled, seeming to have been waiting her to ask

"Because I like to play and explore! And I'm really good at hide and seek"

Sylvia raised an eyebrow. No matter how well someone was good at hiding there was no way you could break into the HQ; it sounded surrealistic

"But how did you find this place?"

"Because it was easy to find"

"Don't you think you could end bad breaking into unknown places?"

"If I don't know what isthis place how I'd know that?"

Fair enough

That conversation wasn't going anywhere, yet she was angrier with the security staff than you. You didn't look worried though

You gave her an idea

"Do you want to play with me?"

Both entered in the nearest police station, she talked with the officers before telling you to count until 1000 while she was going to hide. You started the count facing a wall

She felt bad, but there were some traffickers she had to catch before they made the exchange

She was following their car; everything fine until she believed to see a small hand greeting her from the car's trunk

She returned to the police station to find out that moments later of her departure you disappeared without anyone realizing. She went to the point where the delivery would be made

Outside the abandoned warehouse there was no signal that you were there until she saw you getting out from under the car on the other side

Something caused a shooting that would make the police come and caught her at any moment. The bands kept shooting at each other while you were behind a transport container

"What were you thinking?! I told you to stay with the police!"

"I'm sorry, I counted until I know, then I saw you following the car, so I followed too. But before they caught me I hid in there...I'm sorry..." You pulled out a walkie-talkie

"I got two from the police station. I left one in there so the others thought the guys of that car were betraying them, it should have worked to scape with no bad guys seeing us"

She was impressed. However, there was no time to ask where you learn that from

Analyzing the situation the principal scape was blocked, fortunately they hadn't noticed you yet so–

You pulled her shirt, pointing somewhere else

"Let's get out"

General headcanons

Sylvia was still surprised that your plan of exiting through a rear window she hadn't seen and walk away without hurry could work

She stopped walking to watch you smash the walkie-talkie and take out some matches to burn it

"Now they can't find footprints!"

The police may not get answers about it but she had many questions for you

She lied to you about the HQ, after the shooting her lie was on the floor. Thenceforth Sylvia's not able to tell if you were playing along and keeping her secret or you have no idea what's all about

You thought her name was Handler. When you knew she was called Sylvia Sherwood you pointed your hoody logo and say "S of Super, you're superman–Superwoman!"

That's how she begun to be mistaken with an endearing mother and her son. She was superwoman and you "kid", because you said that's how you were called, along with child, shrimp, demon...

"That's unacceptable". She handed you lists of names to choose, unfortunately no one convinced you

It wasn't until you two went to a jewelry store that you found the name

The casual way you break in HQ when you want still frustrates her, how do you do it?? You don't see big deal though

Fullmetal lady didn't remember how tough was motherhood

Anyone would freak out if they found out about spies. Yet there you are, admiring flying guys in underpants

Sylvia asked you about your family, but you always tell the same: you lived with dad until he left you with a woman that he said was your mom

The Handler found out your father is a repeat offender, currently on a maximum security prison in another country. Both him and the woman without offspring legally

"Please, don't tell me one of his criminal records is jailbreaking"

The informant doubted "Actually, that's the main one"

"..."

The Forgers

Scenario where it's up to both of them to adopt you. To keep Loid's mental sanity safe it will be independent of the timeline where Yor has a kid on her own, feel free to imagine both kids being Anya's siblings at the same time. You can ask me to include that idea if I write more about this

How you met

As I said before Twilight wouldn't adopt anyone due his job, only one kid for Operation Strix and that was Anya. For now Yor didn't want more kids, she loves Anya and that's enough for them

Not for Anya. She wanted a little sibling

All started talking with Becky when Damian mentioned his brother. Back at home she brought the topic and neither Pa or Ma were giving her an answer of where babies come from

That's when she begun to feel like being a sister. Any plan helped her to convince her parents though

Anya remembered something Mr Henderson told them. "If you want something, take it into your own hands"

And she took it too seriously

Next day Anya and Bond disappeared, she was in the dogs park with Yor

While Mrs Forger panicked Anya had returned to the place she met Twilight

As the time passed the Forgers worried more. When they found Anya and Bond at their building's door they felt relieved

Your presence didn't make things better

They asked Anya where she had been and where did you come from. She said she adopted you

Of course Anya wasn't going to say she broke into an orphanage and took you

Loid's scolding made you cry

"Anya, we aren't adopting–"

"If she's not my sister I won't go to school ever again!!"

"Just for a trial period" that's what Loid hoped

General headcanons

Loid thought babies were easy because it's unnecessary (more impossible) communication with a living being that can't talk; after all babies only have basic needs. He was wrong

It would be easier if you could talk. Why are you crying? You have eaten! Are you sad? Cold? You dislike him?

Yor is not better either. Because her parents died when Yuri was a kid Yor didn't have experience with changing diapers, or anything related with babies

She was more scared than Loid to the point she didn't want to hold you. She broke Yuri's ribs with a hug when he was a toddler, what if she kills you with few contact?

In less than 24 hours you already had a crib and all kinds of things a baby would need. However, having three bedrooms and parents sleeping in separate rooms meant all your things ended in Anya's room

You cried at night until they discovered you calmed down when Anya let you a plushie to hug

She can't wait for the day pa and ma share bed to take back her bedroom

The second night Anya had an idea

Ma is scared of being your mom, solution? Leave you in her bed while Yor is asleep imagining that would work

Thanks God Yor doesn't move much when sleeping. On the other hand Yor is a light sleeper due not being used to sleep with someone so she woke up minutes later

She almost jump out of the bed, realizing that would make you cry made her contain. You groaned, did she wake you up? Yor wasn't sure of holding you, instead she laid down again and approached you to her chest

Seeing you so peaceful by her side melted her, thinking about it you looked a bit like her and Loid.. She blushed at the embarrassing thought

Bold of them to not imagine that's why Anya chose you

In the morning Loid discovered what happened and had a little words with Anya during breakfast before she went to school

Yor went to work and he decided to take a day off from his work to spend the morning with you. The Handler said the first days you should see them to recognize faces

Walks with Bond, buying toys, trying to teach you sign language...Normal stuff

Loid is glad you don't do anything but sleep and eat, except your obsession with munching. When you first kissed Yor he found it normal until you munched her cheek and now you do that to everyone; probably you're teething

Yor found it really cute, but you shouldn't go kissing and chewing cheeks. Anya thinks is funny just don't try to chew her hair again please

Another problem came with names. Loid was going through a list of 850 names in alphabetical order, meanings included; Yor didn't take it to the extreme

"Hum, what about Rose? I think it's a cute name, I mean it's both decision and I'm not good with names Loid–"

Welcome to the family Rose

A spy, an assassin, a telepath and... Well, a baby. Seems like a good mix

Yor Briar

As we know Twilight only would adopt for Operation Strix's sake. Yor became mother by marrying Loid, but what if she had already a kid before being Mrs Forger?

Inspired by this post of @say-seira

How you met

Long ago before Twilight adopted the identity of Loid Forger, the Briars moved to a flat in Berlint

While the eldest sibling had recently become an adult Yuri was only a kid, Yor decided to move to the city so he had nearer his school. It was possible due her proper salary as Thorn Princess

This change would make her job easier too. She had a new client which death could pay Yuri's entrance to a good university

There was a politician who negotiated with terrorists, helping them to get into Ostania and providing them with weapons in exchange to gain good propaganda abroad and getting rid of competition

Knowing this was enough to make Yor's blood boil. He deserved to die, she was sure of it

Struggling with the security around him, Yor finally killed the target without leaving trace

The only inconvenience was a bad injury made by a bullet that she received. After removing the bullet the wound got worse

She went to the hospital to avoid an infection. In the waiting room she met a kind lady, Yor swore that she had seen her before

The woman was scared, but Yor reassured her she will wait her

While Yor was attended the girl was taken to another room. As she promised, Yor waited in the hall after her wound was treated; with a buttoned medical gown on because she didn't want to attract more attention due the bandaged wound in sight

Time passed and many people enter and exit from the room, but she didn't. A nurse carrying something mistook her for one of the staff and scolded her for standing there

"Here, take the baby to the nursery"

"Me? But— wait! What about the woman? Is she okay?"

From afar she heard the answer, but before Yor could explain the error the woman had left. She was shocked, how? She seemed fine

Against her will the dark-haired looked at the lump she was holding: rosy cheeks babbling in dreams, you were in peace

Her shock grew when she saw you shared the username that the man she killed had. That's why the woman was familiar: she was the politician's daughter

Yor searched someone who hand the baby when she recognized the doctor that guided the woman to the room, he was talking with a masked nurse

The fact they went to a private place and maintained their voices low made her suspect

"Did you take care of the mother?" the nurse asked

"Yes, they got ahead of us with her father but I think they will pay us anyway. When they found it was a medical negligence we'll be far from here"

Yor understood they were assassins as well, probably paid by a rival. Luckily they hadn't seen her yet

"Heh, do you they will pay more if we got rid of the baby?"

Yor left the hospital with you, unsure of what to do. Did you have more relatives? The widowed politician didn't have more kids, and your mother came alone. What if they wanted to kill the rest of the family?

A small hand grabbed hers, and every fear disappeared. Looking at each other, she knew you were safer with her. Perhaps it was only guilt or sympathy, but she would try

General headcanons

The moment Yuri saw Yor holding you was in disbelief. Yor said she found you in the streets and he believed it

At first he tried to convince her sister to leave you in a orphanage but once scolding was enough to cease

Still disliking you for the first months. It took some time until he saw you like one of his family

Yuri helped, although they had a rough time because you refused to eat Yor's purees. Your endurance might grew up to make you the only person who can eat her food without bleeding but it doesn't mean you like its flavor

She viewed you as a sibling until you were two, being called mom made Yor too happy to correct you. Yuri was just Yuri, you never feel like using formalities with him or addressing "Uncle" everytime you talked

Yor decided to let your belongings, it was better that way. When you were older, and only if you wanted, she would tell you the truth

She's bad with names, Rose was the only name she could think of but you're a boy. Yor's parents loved that Yuri and her had matching names, therefore you would be the sweet addition to it

The only name I could think of is Yuu because it's gender neutral and means "you" sorry

During the first year of your life she didn't try to hide the blood of her clothes from you. Yuri never suspected either and you wouldn't remember it when you grow up

Your lack of childhood amnesia was something she didn't have in count. Not that she knows you know anyway

Yor has been training you since you were able to walk, if she wasn't there when you needed at least you would be ready to defend yourself. Proud to say you're her strong boy

That said, if the assassins that tried to killed you found were you lived it's something you ignore. Being the protective mother Yor is they could be dead by now

Six years later, it was still Yor and you against the world, with Yuri being the only paternal figure you had. Before one day she met a man and everything changed

She said he will help her by accompanying her to a party so Yuri stopped worrying about her. She said it would be one night, and the next morning you woke up with Yor waiting to talk with you

In part she accepted because of you; you passed the Eden exam before knowing you needed a dad for it. That requisite seemed stupid for you, as you reassured her you could go to any other school; now you would be accepted into the best school!

You agreed and started packing. What else you could do? The decision was made before you were asked anyway, and you didn't want to argue with your mom because she was doing it for your future too

Of course it affected you. No matter how nice they were it was a huge change; in one day you had to move to a new place which didn't feel like home and live with strangers who you'll have to share mom with isn't easy

Anya was nervous too, but for different reasons. She was so excited to meet her soon-to-be sibling! For her, who was an orphan last week, having a pa, a ma and a friend to play with was great

Her expectations went down when she read your mind. You didn't think bad of them, but excited wasn't the word to describe your emotional state either

Loid may not be good at understanding children, but it was clear for him you wasn't comfortable. For him would be weirder if you didn't seem affected at all

On the contrary, Yor seemed cool with all of this to you. Even without any idea of how to be a wife or mother for Anya she enjoyed her time as Forger, which confused you a bit

Yor is happier, not only because she didn't have to worry about the SSS or Yuri anymore. They make her happier, it's just matter of time she could fall for Loid and have a baby that was her own, real kid

Being sure Yor loves you and your new family want you to feel welcomed doesn't make disappear the feelings you carry with. Still, if mom is happy you prefer to keep it to yourself and try to maker her smile too

If it wasn't because Yuri hates the idea of her sister hiding her marriage for a year and sympathized your situation he would have laughed at the irony when you told him during your uncle-nephew walk the next day of his meeting with "Loiloi"

He doesn't know they got married before you attended school so he assumed you had been holding it for a long time. He passed his fingers through your hair

"I understand it's difficult, but I'll be for you whenever you need me"

+ Honorable mention to compensate you for the mild ansgt without warning

Daybreak

We don't know much about him but I included this dork for fun

Thinking about "Daybreak" and "parenthood" makes anyone's mind stopped working

Mainly because it's difficult to say which one would be the child

Not "How you met headcanons" because he wouldn't be able to adopt to begin with

From what we saw in chapter 27 he seems to live alone, depending on his amazing spy career to afford pork steak for dinner. So he must not live too good given that after his first mission he was fired

If he had a child, it would be likely because of a previous relationship he had and didn't end well

He didn't adopt you. You're his biological kid, the only not adopted of this gang

Sorry we can't choose our family good luck ig

Not necessarily ended bad, even remaining as friends, your mother took a different path and is happily married with another man

If she knew he wanted to be a spy either thought "it's a joke" or *sigh*

She was who brought money in the relationship, now you live with her and your step-dad but at the beginning you didn't want to

Daybreak talked with you and promised you could visit each other and even live with him when he could afford it

They don't get it

Who would take care of him? The idea of living on his own was frightening to you

Imagine being father and is your kid who worries about whether pops know how to pay taxes without mom

You took after him in terms of appearance. Any signal of intelligence was from your mother

Average smart but surely smarter than him

Probably he thanked God that you were a boy. He will love whatever you are but he was relieved of saving himself of buying female products when you were on that time of the month and guide you through puberty

As much as he says to be a charming man he's not good with women either so

Your name is Sunny. Guess who chose it

Probably you see him more on weekends than during the week

Until you showed him Spy Wars he didn't have no idea that existed such good series

Of course not cooler than the legend he is but Daybreak jokes about how reading that and seeing your cool pops in action would make you half as good spy as he is someday

Quite sad is that your common sense along with the things you see on TV are enough to be better spy material

You try to watch it with him to see if he learns something

Unsure of what you'll be in the future but in the mean time you had fun watching cartoons and liking kids stuff like dinosaurs and skateboard

Current status: Busy with your first year at school and getting him out of trouble

[kingsansa]

Any chance you still have that convo between Cat and Jon that you cut out? If so, can you post it on here pretty pls??

“I don’t wanna have a problem with you—”

Catelyn laughs darkly. “It’s a little late for that.”

“But I don’t care if you do.” Jon snaps.

Her nostrils flare.

“Just leave my mom out of it. This is between us. Not you and her.”

He’s seen his mom cry maybe four times in his entire life. One of those times was today. She could fuck with him all she wanted, to some extent even knows he deserves it—but his mom doesn’t.

“She put herself in it. She was defending you.” She retorts. “That’s what mother’s do. But they also protect their children. And that’s what I’m doing.”

“You’re doing a real shit job.” He snaps. “You call yourself protecting her when really all you’re doing is risking your relationship with her—”

“Don’t you dare lecture me about my relationship with my daughter. You know nothing about it.”

“I know enough.” He bites out.

She jolts, like he slapped her.

And he knows she’s thinking about it. Those months she made Sansa feel alone in the house she grew up in. Her entire first trimester, she shut her out. Maybe Jon wasn’t there, but he didn’t know. Catelyn was there, but was still out of reach. And in his opinion, that’s even worse.

In that moment, Jon almost feels hateful enough to tell her everything. How every time Sansa brought up telling Catelyn about Chicago, her voice trembled. How every night since they started planning this stupid party, she called him almost close to tears because she was breaking her back trying to please her mother. How at the end of every call, she told him, sometimes I wish it was just us.

But he doesn’t. He won’t betray her trust that way, not when she’s just started to trust him again.

“I know you broke her heart.” Catelyn’s voice trembled.“I don’t know when and I don’t know how, but I know you hurt her. Bad. So bad she didn’t even feel like she could tell you she was pregnant because she was scared you’d hurt him, too.”

It takes everything inside of him not to flinch.

“And she forgave you, because she is everything kind and good and sweet in the world, and for whatever reason, she loves you. She has tricked herself into thinking that she needs you—”

Jon snaps.

“You don’t think I love her?” His voice cracks. “You don’t think I need her? You don’t think everything that I’ve done since the moment I found out has been for her? For both of them?”

Catelyn just shakes her head, face wet with tears. But her voice is cold.

“If she wasn’t enough before, why would she be now?”

Because I was the one who wasn’t enough, he wants to say, wants to scream. But I’m trying to be now. I’m really trying.

But he doesn’t. He knows she won’t believe him. He’s not gonna waste his breath trying to prove himself to someone who doesn’t want him to. He’ll just show her. Every single day, he’ll show her.

“I made mistakes. And I’ll spend the rest of my life trying to make it up to her.” He says quietly. “But if you keep this up, you’re not gonna realize that you’ve made a mistake until she’s already gone.”

Catelyn glares at him, opening her mouth.

“I’m telling you this because she loves you. Because he loves you. But I don’t care what you do.” He says, voice low. “Whatever you do to me, whatever you say to me, I’m not going anywhere. But you will be, because if you push her to choose, she‘ll choose me. Our family. Us.”

He knows the exact moment she realizes what he’s saying is true, because for once in her life, Catelyn is completely and utterly speechless.

She looks out the window, outside the kitchen, where Sansa is standing in the backyard. Rickon is waving a bubble wand and she watches as Robbie tries to catch the bubbles, beaming in delight.

Catelyn’s jaw trembles.

“Go on.” Make her mine, he nearly says, as selfish and spiteful as it is. “I dare you.”

[jingabitch]

Let Love Be Enough

SUMMARY: On the day of your daughter’s wedding, you can’t avoid Taehyung.

PAIRING: ex-husband!Taehyung x reader

GENRE: angst, smut

RATING: E

WARNINGS: angst | infidelity | arguing | smut | unprotected sex | use of flashbacks im not sure about | emotional sex | crying during sex

WORD COUNT: 9.4k

A/N: i hope you guys like this!! i was pretty uncertain about posting it because it’s not really like my other work, and I wasn’t sure if i was doing the flashbacks well. Thank you to my lovely betas @taetaesbaebaepsae​ @detectivebts​ @sweetnspicy93 and @moonmintrails​, @dreamystuffers​ for the banner and @kigurumu​ and @jkeuphoriadreamland​ for encouraging me to post it!! Without them the preview wouldn’t even have made it onto Tumblr.

“You look beautiful today, baby.” You were barely holding it together at this point, blinking hard to keep the tears from falling and ruining your makeup. In all fairness to you, your baby girl was getting married. Sunmi looked resplendent in her designer dress, and the entire ceremony was amazing. No expense had been spared – after all, it wasn’t every day that Kim Taehyung’s only daughter got married.

“Thank you, mom,” Sunmi said, squeezing your hand, her own eyes looking a little glossy.

“I’m so proud of you, sweetheart, and I love you so much.”

Your heartfelt moment with your daughter was interrupted by her father knocking and entering the door. Even after all these years, Taehyung was handsome and stately, and looking at him made your heart skip a beat. The graying of his hair didn’t detract from his attractiveness, giving him a distinguished air, and the crow’s feet had the same effect.

It was really too bad he was your ex-husband.

The thought made your expression tighten, although in the name of maintaining a cordial façade, you kept the smile on your face. “Taehyung,” you greeted coolly. “I’ll give you two some privacy,” you said, turning back to Sunmi and squeezing her shoulder. Normally, you’d have kissed her on the cheek but you didn’t want to mess up her makeup or yours.

“Y/n, please stay.” Taehyung tried to stop you, but you were insistent, stepping out of the room and shutting the door behind you. Leaning your back against the solid wood, you let out a gusty sigh, his words having brought back memories you’d really prefer to leave behind.

-----------------------------

“Y/n, please stay,” Taehyung begged, both hands grabbing yours as tears streamed down his face. You were equally determined to leave, though – the room, the country, the marriage you’d just witnessed imploding in front of your eyes.

Why, why had you thought that it would be a good idea to come surprise Taehyung on the last day of his tour? Your eyes met the gaze of the other woman in his hotel room over his head. She was perched on the bed, watching with rapt attention at what was happening, and you could just hear the thoughts going through her head.

So this is what Kim Taehyung’s fabled wife looks like, you could see it written all over her face. She’s nothing compared to me.

And she was right, you knew. She was in her early twenties, perfectly made up and coiffed, wearing a tight miniskirt you could have poured yourself into ten years ago but couldn’t anymore. In the teddy you’d bought specially for tonight, you knew she could see every tiny detail of your body, even the bits you didn’t really like, like the stretch marks visible under the sheer fabric of your belly and the thighs that weren’t as firm as they’d been when you first started dating Taehyung.

“Taehyung, let go.” They were the first words you’d said to him tonight, and they just made him cling to you harder as he sobbed. You gritted your teeth and pulled your hand back. If you didn’t get out of here soon, you would burst into tears right alongside him, and you didn’t want to show him that side of you. Not anymore.

Not after he’d betrayed your trust so completely with another woman.

He shook his head frantically. “No, please, please.” You could barely make out the words, he was crying so hard. Part of you wanted to drop to your knees next to him to comfort him, pull him into your arms and rock back and forth. You’d been together for twelve years, after all, and old habits die hard.

But another glance at the hookup he’d brought back to his hotel room made up your mind. He certainly hadn’t cared about your relationship or his vows tonight, finding another girl to warm his bed. Sure, your relationship hadn’t been great for a while, and you took full ownership of your part of the blame for the state of your marriage, but you’d wanted to work on it. You’d flown to the States tonight to make it up to him, show him that you still cared, that you loved him and wanted to put in the effort to make things right.

Instead, you’d found him blowing up your marriage.

“My lawyers will contact yours.” It was the last thing you said before making your escape, the tears falling down your face the moment the door swung shut after you.

-----------------------------

“I’m sorry, Dad,” Sunmi said, taking in the dejected slant of Taehyung’s shoulders. The two of you had divorced when she was seven, and she’d never gotten the full story, but you could barely stand to be in the same room as your ex-husband. You were civil when necessary, but you avoided him as much as possible. It was such a far cry from her memories of when you two were together, when you’d been so close and happy.

“No, it’s okay.” Taehyung waved it away, forcing a smile out even though Sunmi could see that it didn’t quite reach his eyes. “Today is about you, my love.” Turning to her, he pushed thoughts of his troubled relationship with you out of his mind so that he could pay his daughter the attention she deserved.

Sunmi still watched her father with concern, though, knowing how he got around you. It was a melancholy he wasn’t able to shake until hours after the fact, and it didn’t seem like it had gotten easier for either of you in the twenty years since you’d split up. Sure, you were able to put up a nice front when you couldn’t avoid each other, like at her dance recitals and graduation, but it was clear that neither of you had gotten closure from the divorce.

“Daddy…” Sunmi started, but Taehyung cut her off before she could say anything more.

“You’re so beautiful today, love. You look just like your mother.” Leaning in, he pressed a light kiss to her forehead.

“Thank you, daddy,” Sunmi said, starting to sniffle a little.

-----------------------------

From the moment Sunmi had entered this world, Taehyung had known two things: that she was the spitting image of her mother, and that he was, from that moment, irrevocably wrapped around her little finger.

He’d laughed about it with you, too – how much he loved spoiling her, how hard a time he had telling her no. Taehyung was a devoted father, had been from the start. He’d taken a year off from performing and promoting when she was born so that he could stay in Korea with his new family, especially after the difficult birth you’d had.

You both agreed that you would wait a few years before having more children. Pregnancy and childbirth had been difficult for you, and you weren’t quite ready to go through it again, especially now that you had a young daughter to look after. Still, you were equally committed to having a large family, something you’d been talking about since before marriage.

It was a shock, therefore, to find out after a year of trying for your second child that apparently it would be almost impossible for you to conceive and carry another child to term. You were devastated and so was Taehyung, and, admittedly, neither of you had handled it in the best way.

You could barely stand to look at Taehyung for months after, the guilt of not being able to give him what he wanted and the weight of your own disappointment too much for you to bear. You focused all your attention instead on the daughter you already had in a bid to avoid your husband, and you’d be the first to admit that that hadn’t been the best way to deal with things. Not when Taehyung was grieving the loss of his dream too.

With his wife slipping, it seemed, further out of reach every day, Taehyung did the only thing it felt like he could do. He threw himself into his work, which was made easier by the fact that Jungkook was away serving in the military and Namjoon’s wife had just given birth to the couple’s first child.

By the time he left for that world tour, you were barely speaking to your husband and it felt like you were roommates and acquaintances more than husband and wife. He wanted to fix it, but he didn’t know how to, and you were stubbornly resistant to any attempts to reconcile. It was frustrating, to say the least – he wanted to be there for you, but he didn’t know how to help.

-----------------------------

Taehyung, seated at the table with his family and former band members, watched wistfully as you stood up to toast the happy couple. He didn’t think he’d seen you smile so happily since before the divorce, back when things had been good between the two of you.

“Sunmi and Michael,” you started. “I want to start by congratulating you both. Today has been a beautiful day, and the love you have for each other and for everyone here today is so evident.”

“I remember when Sunmi told me that she was dating Michael – she was only a freshman in college in a foreign country, and I was excited and supportive, but at the time, I had no idea that this relationship would go so far. You have overcome so many obstacles to be together, some of which I’ve witnessed, and many, I’m sure, that I haven’t. Nevertheless, I can see that what you two share is a deep, strong love, that will withstand the test of time.

“If I may, as a mother, offer some advice – although I might not be the best person to give relationship advice,” you added wryly, to chuckles from the crowd, “I know you have the basics covered. Be slow to anger and quick to forgive and remember that you’re a team. But,” you went on, your eyes flicking to Taehyung just for a second, “marriage is difficult, and it takes work. Trust that you’ve got each other’s backs, and communicate about everything, no matter how hard it seems at the time.”

Taehyung’s gaze softened, knowing that it was an implicit apology for your role in the breakdown of your marriage. He was the one who’d ultimately blown it up, something he’d accepted a long time ago, but neither of you had acted like model spouses.

“I believe with all my heart that this is a relationship that will go the distance, and it is my honour to make the first toast to the happy couple!” You concluded, raising your glass of champagne. Everyone in the room followed suit, and you smiled again at them before sitting down.

Jimin leaned over. “Are you okay?”

“Yeah,” Taehyung replied quietly. He was better than okay. In fact, he felt lighter than he had in years.

-----------------------------

“Are you sure this is okay?” you asked for what must have been the hundredth time today. Taehyung couldn’t quite blame you – when you’d gotten married, you’d given up your dream of a family picnic along the Han River Park. There was no way in hell Kim Taehyung wouldn’t be recognized in a public place like that, so it wasn’t feasible at all.

It wasn’t like you were giving up a whole lot – he could afford to take your whole family to resorts, safaris, you name it. Still, the little girl in you that had so many precious memories at the Han River Park with your own family and friends wanted to recreate it with your own children.

Which was why he’d made this plan for your fifth anniversary. He’d called your assistant to let her know to cancel all your appointments today and booked out the entire park so you could finally have the family picnic you’d always dreamed of. It wouldn’t be exactly the same, of course. The rest of the park was basically deserted. But this was so much more than you’d expected, and you almost couldn’t believe that he’d managed to do this.

When you expressed this to your husband, he just smugly noted that you continued to underestimate him even after eight years of being together.

“Of course,” you noted drily. “You are the very epitome of extra.” Still, you leaned over Sunmi’s head to kiss him in a manner that suggested that you’d be doing a lot more if not for the child sitting between you.

“Mommy!” Sunmi cried shrilly, and you broke away from your husband to give your daughter the attention she demanded.

“Yes, baby?”

“I wanna ride the bicycle!” Sunmi told you, pointing out the car window at the bike rental shop.

“Okay, baby,” you agreed easily.

After the bicycle ride, you settled down for a picnic, letting Sunmi gorge herself on fried chicken and delivery food that she rarely got to indulge in because you were all about feeding her a nutritious, balanced diet.

By the time you left the park that evening, Sunmi was fast asleep in her daddy’s arms while you cleared your picnic area and walked next to Taehyung back to the car. The sunset painted the sky bright pink and orange, the fiery ball of the sun disappearing behind the bridge.

“Thank you for today, Tae,” you said, resting your hand on the small of his back as you stretched up to kiss him.

“It was my pleasure. Happy anniversary, my love.”

“Happy anniversary, Tae. I love you.”

-----------------------------

Watching from your table as the happy couple enjoyed their first dance together, you reached for your glass of wine. Being the mother of the bride was hard work, and you were taking the moment to appreciate that everything seemed to have gone off without a hitch. You had to give Taehyung credit where it was due – he’d always been a good father, and despite everything that had happened between you, he’d never let anything get in the way of his responsibilities as a dad. He’d truly spared no expense when it came to the wedding, and it showed.

After the first dance, the rest of the guests were invited to dance too, leaving you alone with your thoughts. You hadn’t brought a date to the wedding, not wanting to cause any drama with your ex-husband, his family and band members, and it seemed like he hadn’t either.

You didn’t make a habit of prying into his personal life – ever since the divorce, your interactions had been solely about Sunmi. You regretted it a little now, realizing that you’d lost your husband and best friend in one fell swoop, but back then, you’d been so hurt and angry, wanting to punish him as much as you’d needed the space to heal. In fact, this was the longest you’d been in the same room with him since the divorce proceedings.

-----------------------------

It was cold in the meeting room, and the air conditioning unit was incredibly loud, you noted mechanically. You looked around anxiously, picking at the skin around your nails – an awful habit that Taehyung had tried without avail for years to get you to quit. It was just you and your lawyer in here right now, since you’d come a little early to discuss the case with her, but you were expecting Taehyung to come in any moment now.

He didn’t want the divorce, you knew that. You could still hear his sobs ringing in your ears from the last time you’d met, when he chased you back to Korea and tried to apologize, explain, grovel.

When Taehyung and his lawyer came in, you stood up out of politeness, shaking hands with the lawyer.

“Taehyung,” you greeted tightly, your body wound tight. Your fight-or-flight instinct was already activated, and you were ready to throw down if necessary. Not that you really thought it’d be needed, but you really didn’t want him trying to cajole you out of this. Your mind was made up. How could your relationship continue if you couldn’t trust him anymore?

“Y/n,” he replied. You could hear the slight wobble in his voice, and for just a second, you felt bad. Despite everything that had happened, you still loved him, and some part of you didn’t want to hurt him. In fact, you had to fight the urge to round the table and pull him into a hug, like you’d used to when he was upset.

Swallowing hard, you took your seat instead, clasping your hands tightly together in your lap. You’d lost that right when you decided to end the marriage, you reminded yourself. It didn’t matter how much you wanted to comfort him. You couldn’t anymore, not when you were the cause of his pain. You’d never wanted to be that to him, but that was neither here nor there – you hadn’t wanted to catch your husband hooking up with another woman in a random hotel room either.

To your surprise, the division of assets went more smoothly than you’d expected. You’d heard horror stories of ridiculous fighting over every last penny and had steeled yourself for that. After all, despite your own professional success it was clear to everyone that the bulk of your combined income as a couple came from Taehyung. It wasn’t that you wanted to take him through the wringer or anything like that, but you didn’t want to be left out on the streets with Sunmi either.

There was no question that you would be awarded primary custody of your daughter – Taehyung’s job took him overseas for extended periods of time, even taking into account the fact that the group was slowing down now as the demands of real life grew.

The division of assets was challenging, but you ran into the opposite problem from what you had feared. Taehyung, once he’d accepted that this divorce was happening, seemed intent on heaping wealth on you. He tried to offer you the house – which you rejected, instead asking for an apartment that you jointly owned instead. The house would be difficult to maintain, you reasoned, which led to him offering to pay for all maintenance and even for cleaners. You also had to bargain the alimony payments down, to the surprise and amusement of your lawyers. You didn’t need any money from him, you maintained, though you did accept child support.

Still, because there was so little fighting between the two of you, it was over quickly, and the one meeting was enough to settle everything. The lawyers excused themselves, telling you that the final divorce agreement would be sent to you both to sign, and then you were alone.

“Y/n…” Taehyung’s voice was filled with anguish and sadness. “I’m sorry.”

“I know,” you acknowledged, swallowing back the tears.

“Do we have to do this? You know I’ll do whatever it takes for you to forgive me,” he pleaded. “I’ll quit the band, we can go for couples therapy… please, just don’t leave me.”

“Tae…” It was the last time you would call him that. “I can’t trust you anymore, you know that.”

“I understand.” It didn’t mean he liked it, though.

Reaching over, you squeezed his hand. You withdrew more slowly than was strictly necessary, but still too quickly for him, and he felt the loss of the warmth from your hand as if in slow motion, fighting back the almost desperate urge to cling to you and never let you leave him, because when you walked out the door, it would really be over.

But you didn’t want him anymore, and nothing he said could change your mind. He watched quietly as you left, taking in every detail of your departing figure before the closing door obstructed his vision, before he broke down in tears.

-----------------------------

With enough time and distance, you could admit that Taehyung was the love of your life. You’d had boyfriends before and after him, but no one had ever made you feel the way he had, like you were soaring above the ground, but unafraid because you knew he would be there to catch you.

Maybe that was why you’d fallen so hard, been hurt so badly. The betrayal coming from the person who’d sworn never to dishonor you had cut you open, and you’d never healed right.

Everyone at your table had gotten up to join the dance floor now, and you were sitting alone, watching.

Looking around, you signaled for a waiter to top up your glass of wine. Now that everything was pretty much done, you figured it wouldn’t hurt to get a little drunk – just to take the edge off the day you’d been having. As nice as the day had been and as proud as you were to watch your baby girl getting married… these events were difficult for you.

You kept remembering your own wedding day, when you’d been so incandescently happy to be marrying Taehyung. Back then, you too had thought you were entering a union that would last a lifetime. But your marriage had been unable to withstand the challenges that life had thrown at you, and all you’d been left with at the end was the broken shambles of a life to pick up and try to piece back together even though there was a giant hole in it.

You were frowning into your glass of wine when Taehyung came to sit next to you. “Hey,” he said quietly, and you turned your head to look at him.

“Hello,” you responded, your voice polite but cold, hoping he’d take the hint and leave you alone. You’d truly had enough, and you didn’t have the emotional strength today to sit and make small talk with Taehyung. Even after so many years, the wounds were still raw and painful.

If your ex-husband was anything, however, it was persistent. “It was a beautiful ceremony,” he pressed on.

“It was,” you agreed coolly. Your hands were resting on the table, and you moved them into your lap, fisting them in the fabric of your dress.

“It made me think of the day we got married.”

Before you knew it, you’d shot out of your seat, the visceral distress at hearing him say those words giving you a jolt of adrenaline. You had to get out of there. “Taehyung, please stop.”

“Y/n, please. You’ve basically ignored my existence for twenty years. I miss you. If you won’t give me anything else, at least let me talk to you tonight.”

When you opened your mouth to speak, your throat felt tight, and you knew you were going to cry. “I—I can’t,” you choked out, before bolting. You streaked out of the ballroom, your body on autopilot, the only thing on your mind getting out of there.

Taehyung watched as you ran from him, guilt stealing over his features. He’d never meant to cause you pain, now or then, but it seemed that was all he was able to do. All he’d been doing for a long time.

He looked around, wondering if anyone had noticed your disappearance and was going to go look for you, but it didn’t look like it – Sunmi and her husband were still wrapped up in each other, as they should be, and almost everyone else was either dancing or at the bar, already drunk.

Sighing, he got out of his seat. He was reluctant to chase you down since his insistence on speaking to you was what had upset you in the first place, but there was nobody else to do it. He just hoped that he would be able to hold it together to actually help you.

You might have let your body carry you wherever it wanted to go, but Taehyung walked with purpose. He had a pretty good idea of where you were, and his hunch was proven right when he saw you pacing by the pool. For some reason, you’d always had an affinity for pools.

“Y/n,” he called out, and you stopped your pacing to turn around.

“How did you find me so quickly?” you asked with a frown, and he shrugged.

“You haven’t changed much in twenty years.”

-----------------------------

Taehyung swallowed hard as he looked up at the house. For almost ten years now, this had been his home. But now as he approached, fishing his keys out of his backpack, he couldn’t help the trepidation that filled him, making his hands shake and his heart pound.

He didn’t know what to say to you, didn’t know how to fix this. With his heart sinking into his stomach, he admitted to himself for the first time that maybe this couldn’t be fixed.

God, he didn’t even know why he’d done that, gone out to get drunk and find some other girl to hook up with. He’d just been so lonely, and it had been so long since he’d had sex. Even before the tour, which had been nine months long, you two had been on such bad terms that you hadn’t slept together in months. It didn’t excuse his appalling lapse in judgement, though.

With a sigh, he opened the door and stepped into the house, breathing a sigh of relief when he saw all your shoes, still lined up neatly on the shelves. So, you hadn’t left, then.

Dropping his things on the floor, he made his way through the house. At the beginning of your relationship, he might have checked the bedroom or the couch – any of the usual places where someone might be moping – but now he knew better.

Just as he’d expected, you were sitting in a lounge chair by the pool out back, a bottle and a single wine glass on the side table next to you. You turned your head when you heard the sound of the door opening, though you didn’t bother greeting him. The pool area was dark, lit only by the moon and the light shining through the windows in the house.

As he drew closer, he saw that your face was stained with tears, but your eyes were dry.

“Y/n,” he greeted uncertainly, drawing closer.

“You’re here,” you observed, your voice impassive. No hello, no welcome home.

“I had to talk to you, to apologize. Please, Y/n, I—” In his desperation, his voice grew louder, and in response you drew back, folding your arms across your chest and pulling your legs in, turning your face away from his stubbornly.

“I think everything there is to be said has been said.”

“No, Y/n, please, it was a mistake, I’m so sorry. I never meant to hurt you.” Taehyung sat at the edge of the lounge chair, and your shoulders hunched over more tightly, betraying your discomfort.

“Well, you did. Please leave,” you requested.

“Y/n, please, talk to me,” he begged, reaching out to put his hand on your knee, before thinking better of it and pulling back. His fists clenched in his lap.

“I said everything I had to say last night. I don’t want to see you right now.” Your voice was tightly controlled. You didn’t want him to see you falling apart. He didn’t get to know how heartbroken you were, how he’d destroyed you.

“Divorce?! Y/n, please. I made a mistake and I know it was bad, but we can get through this, can’t we? We can figure it out. I’ll do anything, I swear.” His voice trembled helplessly, and he felt cold all over. It felt like he was falling to pieces in front of you, and you wouldn’t help. “I’ll work to earn your forgiveness, I swear.” You could hear the earnestness in his voice and knew that he was telling the truth. If Taehyung was anything, it was a hard worker, and you knew he would dedicate himself to this task like he’d never done before.

But it wasn’t enough. “I can’t. I can’t get past this, Taehyung.” With those words, you got up and walked away from him again, leaving him in the dark. By the time he managed to marshal the strength to move his body, you were gone from the house. He didn’t see you again until the division of assets.

-----------------------------

“Taehyung…” Your voice trailed off, your shoulders hunching around your ears uncomfortably. You knew you were both recalling that night, when he’d begged you to forgive him, or at least give him a chance to earn your forgiveness, and you’d rejected him flatly.

“I’m sorry, Y/n.” His next words surprised you somewhat. You’d been expecting him to continue with your earlier topic of conversation. This, though, wasn’t necessarily better. The words echoed in your head and turned into his desperate, sobbed apologies of twenty years ago. “I didn’t mean to upset you.”

You inclined your head in a stiff nod, grudgingly accepting his apology and hoping he would leave you to your thoughts. Why did he still do this to you? He’d been your ex-husband now for longer than you’d been together, and yet you remained so easily affected by him.

Damn Kim Taehyung, you thought suddenly, viciously. He’d sunk his claws into you thirty-two years ago and had never let you go. With the sudden flash of anger and resentment fueling you, you bit out, “You never do.”

Right in front of your eyes, Taehyung seemed to deflate. His shoulders slumped and he put his hands in his pocket, head bowed. “I’m sorry,” he whispered again. When you made your speech earlier, he’d genuinely thought that you were extending an olive branch to him. It was why he’d tried again to talk to you. It seemed like, not for the first time, he was wrong. “I’ll leave you alone, then.”

With that, he turned and started to walk away. Cursing your inability to let him go, you called out to him. “Wait, Taehyung.”

He spun around so quickly you felt a little dizzy on his behalf. “What is it?” he asked earnestly, his eyes wide.

“That was mean of me to say, and it was uncalled for. I’m sorry.”

He shrugged awkwardly, scuffing his shoe on the floor. “Don’t be. I understand that you still hate me. I would too.”

Since it seemed like tonight was a night for spilling secrets, yours tumbled out of your mouth thoughtlessly. “I don’t hate you. I couldn’t.”

His reaction was so dramatic it was almost comical. His eyes widened, his jaw dropped, and he took a half-step towards you before stopping short, not sure what to do with that information. “But—but you…”

Cringing as awareness of what you’d told him filtered back into your brain, you turned away, trying to hide your embarrassment.

“Y/n, talk to me, please,” he pleaded. “I just want to understand.” You could hear from his voice and footsteps that he was approaching you, and he stopped just a few paces away, wanting to be closer but trying not to overcrowd you.

“Stop it, Tae,” you said, the old nickname slipping out in your distraction. It didn’t even register with you as you grappled with your emotions, trying to rein them in, but he had to moderate his voice to stop the joy from coming through.

“If you tell me to go I will, Y/n, but I’m just curious. I’ve spent the past twenty years thinking you hated me for what I did. I mean, you’ve barely been able to look at me for all this time.”

“Taehyung…” You turned back to him, then noted the intensity of his gaze with some surprise. It compelled you to speak, like it always had. “I never hated you. I couldn’t. I can’t.”

“Then… then why?” His voice broke on the last word, his voice filled with hurt and confusion.

You gave him a small shrug. “I couldn’t trust you anymore.”

“I don’t understand.”

“You don’t understand why I didn’t think you were trustworthy after finding you about to hook up with a girl while you were on tour?” You rolled your eyes derisively. “It’s not rocket science, Tae. Was that even the first time?”

“What—Yes!” he yelled. “I swear to God, Y/n. It was a mistake. A shitty, terrible mistake, and one that I apologized for a million times. But you wouldn’t even listen to me, and I thought it was because you hated me, but now… we could have worked this out, couldn’t we?” The raw longing in his voice made you look away from him, because your eyes were filling with tears.

“Stop it,” you choked. “This is ancient history. There’s no point in bringing it up.”

“Y/n, it may be ‘ancient history’ to you, but there isn’t a day that goes by that I don’t think about it. I love you, and I never stopped, even though everything went so wrong. I know you don’t have to do this. You can walk away right now, and I won’t chase you, I swear. But if you don’t mind, I really, really want to know what was going through your mind then.”

You bit your lip, your face still turned away from him, as you thought about it. For twenty years you’d hidden your tears from him, but if you decided to accede to his request, that ended tonight. Were you strong enough?

“Love… isn’t enough for a relationship, Tae. How was I supposed to trust you after what I saw?” You picked at an imaginary loose thread on your dress.

“Love? You still loved me after that?” Incredulity coloured his voice. You didn’t blame him – you hadn’t exactly shown it, instead pushing him away relentlessly.

“Taehyung…” Your voice caught. You’d always known, intellectually, that you’d hurt him, but seeing his anguish written all over his face made it real. “You’re the love of my life. I could never stop loving you.”

“Y/n…” Taehyung felt like his soul had left his body. Moving completely on autopilot, he took a step forward, then another, until he was standing right in front of you, one hand on your waist. “Please,” he whispered, his other hand cupping your cheek, before leaning down to kiss you.

You wanted to push him away and run off, screaming, but instead your eyes fluttered shut as he brushed his lips against yours gently, your hands reaching out to grasp his shirt. “Tae,” you said, your voice basically a wisp of air, when he pulled back.

“Thank you,” he rasped, starting to step back. As pathetic as it sounded, that tiny, chaste kiss was enough to last him the rest of his life.

It wasn’t enough for you, though. You’d forgotten – forced yourself to forget – what it felt like to have him pressed against you, towering over you, worshipping you with every caress. All of that had been tainted when you saw him with that other nameless girl, but having him here with you now, twenty years later, you felt the first inklings of doubt. After so much time and everything that had happened, he was still here with you, begging you to talk to him. It was clear that he loved you and you certainly felt the same way about him, and for the first time, you asked yourself – could love be enough?

When he made to move away, you tightened your fingers in the fabric of his shirt, holding him close. Taehyung looked down at you with surprise. “Y/n… what is it?” he asked.

Instead of answering him in words, you pulled him flush to your body and kissed him again, releasing his shirt in favour of winding your arms around his neck as his body collided into yours. Unlike the last one, this wasn’t a gentle, chaste peck. Your kiss was filled with all the longing and passion of the past twenty years, and Taehyung couldn’t help but react, his hands gripping your waist as he deepened the kiss hungrily.

You moaned into the kiss, a high-pitched, needy sound, as your arms tightened around his neck, pulling him yet closer to you. Hearing it, Taehyung tightened his grip on your waist, shuddering as he rolled his hips helplessly against you.

Breaking away from the kiss, Taehyung rested his forehead against yours, your breath mingling with his in the small space between your faces. “Y/n,” he panted.

“Tae,” you whined, your arms dropping to your sides as you hooked your fingers in his belt loops. “I missed you so much.”

He swore under his breath. This seemed like the reconciliation he’d dreamed of for so many years, but something was off. He’d always been able to tell with you, and he knew he didn’t have the whole story yet. It would be irresponsible and selfish for him to pursue this while you were clearly still in a fragile state, and as much as some dark part of him wanted to, he couldn’t do that to you.

So he took a step back and sucked in a deep breath to regain his composure – then almost lost it promptly when he saw you staring at him with that dark, intense gaze that haunted his dreams. “Stop looking at me like that,” he grumbled, ducking his head to hide his flush. “I’m trying to be good.”

“Could have tried that twenty years ago,” you muttered, but Taehyung, being so close to you, heard. The words cut through the haze in his mind like a knife and he dropped his arms to his sides immediately, turning away from you to hide how much your words had hurt him. He knew he deserved it, but the pain of hearing how much you hated him, dashing the new, timid hope growing in his chest like grass in the spring… it devastated him.

“Y/n… I’m sorry,” he choked, his hands balling into fists. “I’m sorry, I’m so sorry for doing that, and for hurting you, and if there was one thing in my life I could take back, it would be that. I’ve apologized a million times over; I’ve offered to leave you alone tonight. You were the one who initiated that kiss. I just—I don’t know what you want from me.

“I can’t do this anymore. I love you so much, and even though you say you love me, you’ll never forgive me. It just… it hurts so much, knowing that nothing I say or do will ever be enough to make it better.”

His words tore through you, shredding your anger and resentment like tissue. Your hurt may be old, but his… it was fresh, and every time you rejected his company or made a snide remark, it was like rubbing salt in his wounds. You knew he was sorry, that he regretted it, and sometimes even you wondered why that wasn’t enough for you.

Darting forward, you grasped his large fist, cupping it between your hands. “Taehyung, I’m sorry.” Your words were sincere and heartfelt, and you gripped his hand tightly, like you were afraid he would leave – and why wouldn’t he? He’d made you feel like you weren’t enough once, and you’d walked away from him. Really, how could you blame him for doing the same thing?

“I know I wasn’t a perfect wife.” It was the first time you’d ever admitted it out loud. “It doesn’t excuse what you did, but learning that I couldn’t have more children was heartbreaking for me.”

Taehyung stopped short. You’d never acknowledged this before. Without thinking about it, he uncurled his fingers to hold your hand, giving you what support he could as the confession spilled from your lips.

“I know you wanted children, a big family. Finding out that I couldn’t give you that…” Your voice broke, and Taehyung reacted, turning to draw you into his arms. You nestled in his embrace like you’d never left, your body fitting perfectly against his.

“I felt like I wasn’t enough.” You’d been carrying this secret hurt inside you for so long, and to say it out loud gave you a sense of relief, as if a crushing weight had been lifted from your chest.

“Y/n…” Taehyung’s voice was thick with emotion. He wanted to tell you that you were wrong, that you’d always been enough for him, but he couldn’t find the words.

“And seeing you with her… it just made it so much worse.” You were sobbing now, your fists clenched as you cried into his shirtfront, reliving the anguish you’d felt at believing yourself inadequate, how much you’d hated him even as you loved him like you’d never loved anyone before or since. How could someone you’d let into the deepest recesses of your soul use that power to hurt you so badly, you’d wondered. That night had been a confirmation of every secret fear you’d let fester for a year, and you’d run from the hurt as fast and as far as you could.

As much as he wanted to sink to his knees, Taehyung forced himself to remain standing, so you could lean on him. It was the one thing he could offer you, and even though it was laughably insufficient to fend off the wave of guilt that crashed over him, he forced himself to, tucking your head under his chin and gathering you up like he could shield you from the pain.

“Y/n… you’ve always been enough for me. Only you could be enough for me. And I’m sorry.” His voice broke on the last word. For the first time, words couldn’t capture the depth of his remorse, how fucking bad he felt. He would gladly tear out his heart and present it to you if it made you feel just a tiny bit better. It had always been yours, anyway.

Even though Taehyung had apologized to you countless times before, this was the first time you truly believed it, and the sorrow and remorse in his voice filtered through the haze of hurt and anger that you’d been living under for decades. He held onto you like you’d evaporate if he let you step out of his arms, like he was going to hug you for the next twenty years, for all the time he had missed.

You stayed like that for five minutes, just soaking in each other’s presence and comfort, but eventually common sense began coming back to you. “Taehyung,” you sniffled, wriggling slightly in his grasp.

“Just a little longer, please,” he begged, the words whispered into your hair.

“Taehyung, we can’t stay out here.”

He whined, sounding incredibly childlike and not at all like the distinguished middle-aged man he was. “I don’t want this to end,” he pouted.

“Tae—”

He cut you off by squeezing you so tightly you squeaked as the air left your lungs. Rolling your eyes fondly – some things never changed, it seemed – you squirmed determinedly until he had no choice but to let you go, and he stared at you with a bereft gaze.

“Come on, you drama queen,” you said, holding your hand out to him. He perked up visibly and put his hand in yours, not even questioning where you were taking him.

Taking him to your hotel room felt familiar, but new and exciting at the same time. It brought to your mind memories of sneaking around back when you’d first started dating, when he would come over to your apartment in the middle of the night, and you’d smuggle him in, giggling the whole time.

It wasn’t like you were necessarily doing anything wrong – both of you were single, adults, and this time, there weren’t any pesky contractual obligations to keep all relationships out of the public eye. Catching the divorced parents of the bride sneaking off together might raise a couple of eyebrows, though.

Taehyung wound his arms around your waist, resting his chin on your shoulder to watch as you fiddled with the key card. Now that you were back in his arms, he found himself basically unable to give it up, hungrily soaking in all the physical contact he’d dreamt of for so long. When you managed to get the door open and stepped through, he refused to let go, instead doing a strange crab-walk while still clinging to you.

“Tae,” you giggled, your hands resting on his arms. “You need to let go.”

“Never,” he insisted, burying his face in your neck. “Not letting you go again,” he said, his voice muffled.

“Tae…” your voice trailed off as you focused on taking off your shoes, which was made more difficult by the new limpet you’d acquired. Now a few inches shorter, you turned in his embrace and tilted your head up to brush your nose against his. The cute gesture was somewhat undermined by the way he immediately claimed your lips in a torrid kiss, his large hand splayed across the back of your head, and you knew that if not for the updo your hair was currently welded into, he would already be tugging on it.

“I missed you so much,” he groaned, his hand sliding from your head to the top of the zipper on the back of your dress. Instead of sliding it down, though, he paused, fiddling nervously with the tab.

“What’s wrong?” you asked, opening your eyes as you pulled back slightly.

“Are you sure you want this?”

You took a step back, out of his grasp, so you could get a better look at him. “Are you?”

Taehyung hesitated. He didn’t know why he felt so nervous about this. It was what he’d wanted for years, right?

“Tae…” As always, you could read him perfectly, and you held out your hand to him. “Come talk to me. What’s bothering you?” You led him to the couch, sitting down on the mattress facing him. He refused to let go of your hand, and you had to lean forward awkwardly.

“You won’t leave again, right?” he asked anxiously, and your brows shot up in surprise. His gaze continued darting around the room, refusing to settle on you, and you got up, closing the distance between you as you sat sideways on his lap.

“Tae, what are you talking about?” you asked, your fingers winding into the short hairs at the nape of his neck and stroking softly, the way you remembered he liked.

His lip wobbled, and you wanted to kiss it better. “I don’t want you to leave me again,” he confessed.

“Tae… this is my room. I’m not going anywhere,” you pointed out, and the slightly exasperated side-eye he gave you had you biting your lip to stifle a smirk. Becoming serious now, you added, “I promise I won’t disappear, okay? We can take things slow, and see where it goes,” before you pulled him close and gave him a sweet kiss on the cheek.

This wasn’t exactly what Taehyung wanted, but he supposed it was reasonable. Acquiescing, he turned to kiss you properly, allowing it to grow heated. You moved to straddle him, but the long dress made it difficult, and you hiked it up around your hips impatiently. Taehyung ran his tongue along your bottom lip and you moaned, heat pooling in your lower belly.

The sound spurred Taehyung to drag you closer to him, his hands kneading the flesh around your hips hungrily. You felt a flash of self-consciousness – the last time he’d seen you naked was decades ago, and your body had definitely changed since then, and not for the better. The greedy way he felt you up with the same hunger as he had back in your twenties when everything was new and exciting, though, banished the insecurities from your mind quickly.

Still kissing him, you ran your hands up his chest, delighting in how firm and solid he still was, before tugging his tie loose and dropping it carelessly somewhere. You attacked the buttons on his shirt impatiently, almost too excited to work them properly. Taehyung wasn’t faring any better, having roughly pulled your zipper all the way down – you gave a silent prayer for the nice zipper on the expensive dress, because if it had gotten caught, he would probably have ripped the whole thing.

You let go of him just long enough to allow him to push the dress off your shoulders so it pooled around your waist, and shivered as he put his hands on your bare skin, running them up your back to pop open the clasp of your bra.

“Tae,” you whined, tugging on his shirt, and he chuckled as he moved to help you with the rest of the buttons while you shrugged the straps of your bra off, tossing it behind you somewhere. His undershirt went the same way, and you moaned when his bare chest made contact with yours, kissing him frantically as you squirmed on top of him.

Taehyung wasn’t unaffected – you could feel his hard-on pressing against your thigh as he fondled your breast, rubbing his thumb against your pebbled nipple. “Fuck, Y/n,” he groaned in that deep, raspy baritone that you’d missed so much, his hands dropping to your thighs as he held you against him, standing up and depositing you on the bed. You gasped in surprise – you’d always enjoyed being manhandled by him, and were impressed that he was still able to lift you up so easily.

Instead of joining you immediately, he yanked your dress all the way off, letting it pool on the floor, before reaching for his belt. He wasn’t able to get it off before you hooked your fingers in his belt loops and yanked him towards you impatiently, causing him to lose his balance and fall on you. “Y/n,” he grumbled, though there was laughter in his voice. He pushed himself up on his hands, looking down at you, and you undid his belt with far greater dexterity than you’d handled his shirt buttons.

Pulling the leather through the loops – and shivering at the whistling sound the belt made, a familiar one from your more adventurous romps from days past – you dropped it beside you before working on his trousers.

“Someone’s impatient,” Taehyung teased, and you scoffed at him.

“You’re one to talk,” you retorted, and he didn’t respond immediately, but that might have been because you plunged your hand into his underwear to grasp his hard cock. Taehyung had always been big, and you clenched on yourself as you remembered what it had felt like to have him stretching you open. God, how you’d missed him, pined for him on those long, lonely nights.

You pumped his cock slowly, running your thumb across the head to collect the pre-cum already beading there and listening to him growl and pant above you, long fingers diving into your panties to stroke you eagerly as his lips returned to yours. He found you wet and sticky already, dipping his fingers in the orifice before returning to circle your clit with all the expertise you’d come to expect after almost a decade of marriage. Some things were embedded in your muscle memory and being with each other felt like that.

Because you knew it would drive him wild, you released his erection, causing him to pull away to look down at you questioningly. With a smirk, you raised your hand to your mouth, dragging the pad of your thumb across your tongue. “Hmm,” you cooed, your eyes fluttering shut. “You taste just as good as I remember.”

“Fuck.” The expletive punched out of Taehyung with the last of the oxygen in his lungs, leaving him breathless. You were so flawless, perfect for him in every way, and he couldn’t wait anymore. He pulled your panties off so hard that they ripped before pushing his own boxers down just far enough to release his painful erection. The head was flushed bright red, the veins standing out along the length, and your mouth watered, but that wasn’t what he was going for right now.

As he pushed your thighs apart with his own, one hand snaked around his cock, stroking it a few times to take the edge off. You both watched, enthralled, as he slid the head of his erection along your slit, gathering up the wetness, before pressing into you. The stretch was immediate, tears springing to your eyes as you tensed up in response.

“Fuck, Y/n, you’re so tight,” Taehyung gritted, leaning down to kiss you. His tongue slid against yours filthily, making you moan, as his fingers reached between you to rub your clit. “I missed you, I love you, I love you,” he groaned as he sank into you, your heels pressing against the small of his back and egging him on. You’d half expected him to pound you into tomorrow after the urgency of the foreplay, but he seemed content to take it slow, kissing you and caressing your side as he thrust almost lazily. He buried his face in your neck and you stroked his hair as your breath caught on the pleasure.

“Taehyung,” you breathed, your voice hitching as he brushed against your g-spot. Of course he remembered exactly where it was, you thought fondly. “I love you so much,” you confessed, the words hanging in the air. He didn’t respond to you, continuing the smooth motions of his hips, and you wondered if he was even listening to you, but then you heard it.

A sob, muffled against your neck. The sound made you panic, and you pushed at his shoulders so that you could look at him. He resisted a little, but you kept stroking your hands down his sides to reassure him. “Tae, are you okay? Is this okay?”

Finally, he lifted himself off you, but immediately went in for another kiss, this time tender and sweet, his lips moving gently against yours. “Say that again?” he requested, and you could see the tears shining in his eyes.

“Tae, I love you,” you moaned as he drove into you harder, gripping your thigh as he angled himself to hit your g-spot again. He was rushing for the finishing line now, you could tell, as he reached back down to thumb at your clit with unerring precision. Your confession had done it for him, but he would not cum before you. It had to be perfect, the best beginning to your future together.

“Again,” he breathed, needing to hear the words from you once more, and you acquiesced, repeating it with each thrust, until the pleasure grew too great and you just gasped and moaned instead, spelling your love for him out in the scratches on his back and the way your heels drummed against him, begging him to get closer, deeper inside of you, to never leave.

“Tae—fuck,” you cried out as you crested, clenching hard on his cock in you as your arms and legs tightened around him. In that instant, as close as he was to you, you needed more, tears springing to your eyes at the feeling of his hands and mouth on you after so long, gentle but sure, reverent yet debased.

Feeling you orgasm around him was too much for his already faltering restraint, and with a final thrust, he came, shuddering in your arms as he shot ropes of cum deep inside you.

In the aftermath, Taehyung sank down on you, and though you knew you wouldn’t be able to stay like this forever, you welcomed his weight pressing you into the bed. He almost surrounded you, his warmth comforting, and you stroked his back as he caught his breath.

A moment later, he lifted himself off you, seeking another kiss which you happily gave him. He tucked an errant strand of hair that had stuck itself to your sweaty cheek behind your ear, and you smiled up at him, eyes shining. As amazing as the sex was, Taehyung had always shown the extent of his love for you through those tender, soft touches that came like second nature to him.

“I love you,” he told you again, emotion shimmering in his eyes. You were tempted to be cheeky and say I know, because he’d told you so many times tonight, but you could sense the vulnerability radiating off him and knew this wasn’t the right moment for your sass.

“I love you too,” you told him instead, reaching up to cup his face and brushing your thumb against his cheekbone to wipe the tear that escaped. There was so much more you had to talk about – establishing boundaries and rules for this new old relationship, clearing the air between you. Hell, after twenty years apart, who knew if you were still compatible with each other?

However, you pushed all those thoughts away as you hugged Taehyung’s sweaty, exhausted body closer to you. Just for tonight, you promised yourself, you would let love be enough.

[latte-fairytaekwoon]

𝚈𝚊𝚗𝚍𝚎𝚛𝚎! 𝙰𝚝𝚎𝚎𝚣 𝙿𝚛𝚘𝚏𝚒𝚕𝚎𝚜: 𝙹𝚞𝚗𝚐 𝚆𝚘𝚘𝚢𝚘𝚞𝚗𝚐

Disclaimer: In no way am I condoning, promoting, encouraging, justifying nor romanticizing yandere behavior or lifestyle. This is all a work of fiction and not meant to represent real life scenarios.

Warnings: Mentions of toxic relationships, yandere behavior, bullying, harassment, blackmail, sexual scenes, abusive relationship, manipulation, verbal abuse, abortion, attempted murder.

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

𝐁𝐚𝐬𝐢𝐜 𝐈𝐧𝐟𝐨𝐫𝐦𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧:

𝙽𝚊𝚖𝚎: 𝙹𝚞𝚗𝚐 𝚆𝚘𝚘𝚢𝚘𝚞𝚗𝚐

𝙳.𝙾.𝙱: 𝙽𝚘𝚟𝚎𝚖𝚋𝚎𝚛 𝟸𝟼𝚝𝚑, 𝟷𝟿𝟿𝟿

𝙷𝚎𝚒𝚐𝚑𝚝: 𝟷𝟽𝟹 𝙲𝙼/ 𝟻'𝟾 𝙵𝚝.

𝙰𝚐𝚐𝚛𝚎𝚜𝚜𝚒𝚘𝚗 𝙻𝚎𝚟𝚎𝚕: ■■■■■100%

𝙾𝚋𝚜𝚎𝚜𝚜𝚒𝚘𝚗 𝙻𝚎𝚟𝚎𝚕: ■■■■□90%

𝙼𝚎𝚗𝚝𝚊𝚕 𝙸𝚗𝚜𝚝𝚊𝚋𝚒𝚕𝚒𝚝𝚢: ■■■■□80%

𝙾𝚟𝚎𝚛𝚊𝚕𝚕 𝚃𝚑𝚛𝚎𝚊𝚝 𝙻𝚎𝚟𝚎𝚕: 𝙷𝚒𝚐𝚑

𝚈𝚊𝚗𝚍𝚎𝚛𝚎 𝙲𝚕𝚊𝚜𝚜𝚒𝚏𝚒𝚌𝚊𝚝𝚒𝚘𝚗: 𝚃𝚘𝚛𝚖𝚎𝚗𝚝𝚘𝚛

𝙱𝚎𝚑𝚊𝚟𝚒𝚘𝚛𝚊𝚕 𝙰𝚗𝚊𝚕𝚢𝚜𝚒𝚜:

𝙰𝚋𝚒𝚕𝚒𝚝𝚢 𝚝𝚘 𝚙𝚎𝚛𝚏𝚎𝚌𝚝𝚕𝚢 𝚖𝚊𝚜𝚔 𝚑𝚒𝚖𝚜𝚎𝚕𝚏 𝚊𝚜 𝚊 𝚕𝚘𝚟𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚜/𝚘.

𝚃𝚑𝚛𝚒𝚟𝚎𝚜 𝚘𝚏𝚏 𝚙𝚊𝚒𝚗 𝚊𝚗𝚍 𝚜𝚞𝚏𝚏𝚎𝚛𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚘𝚏 𝚘𝚋𝚓𝚎𝚌𝚝 𝚘𝚏 𝚒𝚗𝚝𝚎𝚛𝚎𝚜𝚝 .

𝚄𝚜𝚎𝚜 𝚋𝚕𝚊𝚌𝚔𝚖𝚊𝚒𝚕 𝚊𝚜 𝚖𝚎𝚊𝚗𝚜 𝚝𝚘 𝚐𝚎𝚝 𝚠𝚑𝚊𝚝 𝚑𝚎 𝚍𝚎𝚜𝚒𝚛𝚎𝚜.

𝙳𝚎𝚜𝚙𝚒𝚜𝚎𝚜 𝚠𝚑𝚎𝚗 𝚘𝚋𝚓𝚎𝚌𝚝 𝚘𝚏 𝚒𝚗𝚝𝚎𝚛𝚎𝚜𝚝 𝚛𝚎𝚏𝚞𝚜𝚎𝚜 𝚝𝚘 𝚘𝚋𝚎𝚢.

𝙽𝚘𝚝 𝚊𝚋𝚘𝚟𝚎 𝚒𝚗𝚏𝚕𝚒𝚌𝚝𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚙𝚑𝚢𝚜𝚒𝚌𝚊𝚕 𝚙𝚊𝚒𝚗.

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

You had known him for the longest time, probably since you were both learning the alphabet.

Even back then he was a troublesome boy.

Loved to dip your hair in paint, pour glue inside your backpack.

Or always pushed you off the swings cause he wanted to play in it.

This didn't really faze you back then.

Most of the boys that age played such tricks on almost all the girls.

They all had a specific target and you were Wooyoung's.

You remember telling this one day to your mom, who simply chuckled.

"Honey, boys tend to tease the girls they have a crush on."

You remember looking at her with confusion.

How could they treat someone they like with such utter disrespect and rudeness?

"Because they don't know how to express their feelings."

Like an idiot you believed that, and being the naive little girl you were, you kinda started developing a crush on him.

You remember the first time you talked back to him, it's engraved in your head because it was the first time of many to come where his words, and actions, hurt you.

"Just admit you like me Wooyoung! You only tease me cause you're in love with me."

You remember the rage and disgust in his eyes as he shoved you to the ground, making you scrape your knee on the pavement.

"Get this through that dumb brain of yours Y/N....

No one will ever love a dirty little rat like you."

You came home crying that day. Hurt physically and emotionally at his words.

And the years to come weren't better, as you grew up, Wooyoung's bullying towards you escalated.

You hoped that after you graduated high school and started going to university, you'd be free from him, never see him again.

You could finally be happy for once in your life. Focus on your goals and career.

Everything was going great for you!.......

Until you walked into class and found out not only had Wooyoung been accepted to the same university...

He was majoring in the same field as you!

"Hey dirty little rat. Missed me?"

His cocky smile sent shivers down your spine, you were already fearing what he had in store for you.

If you thought high school was hell, it was nowhere near as awful as the torment Wooyoung was now putting on you.

Tripping you down the stairs to the point you had severe injuries.

Writing nasty and derogatory names on your desk that now wouldn't come off and you'd be forced to look at every time you went to class.

One time he went as far as stealing your assignments, ultimately leading to failing an entire semester.

You were so heartbroken and just done with his shit. You felt no more motivation to even continue studying.

Until a cute boy named Yeonjun transferred and took an interest in you.

He was super nice, friendly and not to mention good looking and hella tall.

It was more than obvious too that he wanted establish a relationship with you, anyone and everyone could see that.

Especially Wooyoung and he did not look the way someone else was making you happy.

So he devised a plan, not caring how messed up it was.

He made sure someone convinced you to go to a party he'd be at.

You found it odd that he was suddenly acting super nice to you, not even calling you those mild nicknames he called you in front of others.

And it shocked you even more when he suddenly apologized to you for everything he'd done to you, even offering to talk to your professor about your assignment.

His eyes seemed so sincere, you actually believed him.

Perhaps he finally decided to change, realized his behavior was unnecessary and immature and of course, like an idiot you accepted his apology.

You got wasted for the first time in your life that night and could not remember anything at all.

Until Wooyoung was 'kind' enough to brief you in on what happened.

He pulled out his phone and made you watch a video he had filmed of you two that night.

Your stomach hurled over as you realized it was a fucking sex tape, you and Wooyoung had actually fucked that night.

"What! No no! This couldn't have happened! There's no way!" You refused to believe it.

Wooyoung just smirked at you.

"Oh but it did happen kitten. You were so eager too as the video displays, you kept asking me to go harder, begging me for another round and wanting my cum all over you..."

"I wonder what would the whole school say if I posted it online....especially Yeonjun."

Now you realized what his game was. He was never sorry. It was just another form of him to torture you, and this tipped the scale.

You were so shaken up, you got down on your knees and begged him not to show anyone the video.

"Please Wooyoung! I'll do anything! Anything!"

"Anything?......really? How about becoming mine then?"

And now you were forever tied to your worst nightmare.

Wooyoung especially enjoyed seeing Yeonjun's disappointed and heartbroken look when he announced that you two were now dating.

Now he couldn't even look at you anymore, feeling somewhat betrayed by your actions.

You wanted to tell him you were sorry and explain to him what was going on, but Wooyoung had eyes on you 24/7.

He even made you move in with him and now even your free time had to be spent with him.

You hated living with him.

He not only made sure to verbally abuse you, but actually seemed to have fun causing tiny accidents to happen around you.

His favorite was when he'd peer over your shoulder as you tried to study.

He scoffed. "Why even bother if all you'll ever be good at is spreading your legs?"

Those were his favorite insults: "whore" "slut" "bitch".

One time you were just so fed up with him, that you ended up snapping back.

"Shut the fuck up Wooyoung! You're such an insufferable piece of shit, no wonder your mom left you and your dad back in middle school."

As soon as the words came out, you wanted to swallow them back in.

Wooyoung was livid at your words.

He not only yanked you up by your hair, but he actually threw you to the floor and started kicking you harshly.

He didn't kick you for too long though, he did not want to risk anyone questioning when he told them you fell down the stairs.

And especially not take you to the hospital.

You had no choice but to stay home as you tried to recuperate.

You remember one of those days, you came home from a quick trip to the convenience store and found some girl blowing Wooyoung on the couch.

You weren't fazed. He often brought girls home and fucked them right in front of you.

You just sighed and decided to ignore the shit eating grin he'd give you whenever you caught him.

You decided long ago it wasn't worth it.

You two weren't even dating cause you wanted to.

He just loved controlling you, having power over you, holding something over your head.

He had this obsessive need to make you miserable.

And you hated that you had no choice but to allow it.

Even when there were things you didn't want to do, you had to or he'd once again blackmail you.

The one time you adamantly refused to was when you found out you were pregnant.

Wooyoung was just as shocked as you.

"And you're telling me I'm the father?"

"Uh......I can't have sex with anyone who isn't you, obviously you're the father."

Wooyoung couldn't let you go through with the pregnancy.

"Get rid of it." He told you.

You wrapped a protective hand around your bump.

"No! This is my baby and I won't allow you to harm it!"

You weren't going to budge though.

"Show the tape to everyone! I don't give a fuck anymore! But I'm not killing an innocent child who has done nothing wrong. "

Realizing he was losing control of you, Wooyoung knocked you out unconscious, deciding to take matters into your own hands.

You woke up a day later, feeling sore and aching in your inner thighs and lower abdomen.

You immediately panicked and sensed something was wrong.

You didn't need Wooyoung to tell you, you knew he had taken you to a clinic and had the baby removed.

You were so shaken up, cried your eyes out and no longer had any will to fight against Wooyoung.

You felt like it all all your fault, the death of your baby was your fault.

You weren't strong enough to save it and it was killing you inside.

You no longer trusted anyone, and you didn't have the heart to talk about it to anyone. Not like they'd believe you or care about you.

But someone did notice, Yeonjun never stopped caring about you and although he was hurt you went with someone else, he still had feelings for you.

And he was very observant and noticed that ever since you started dating Wooyoung, you were skipping a lot of classes....

And you were having a lot of accidents...too many in fact.

And now he just saw you completely lost and like a walking dead.

"Hey Y/N, are you ok?" He asked you one day.

You were going to respond, but the devil made an appearance by your side.

"She's fine and was just coming home with me. Weren't you baby?"

To everyone, it looked like a sweet and caring smile from your doting boyfriend, but you knew it was all fake.

Nonetheless you just kept your head low and went home with him.

Yeonjun noticed the way you trembled when he put his arm around you, noticed the frightened look in your eyes and he knew something was wrong in your relationship.

When you got home, Wooyoung was pissed off at you and immediately struck your face.

"I thought I told you not to talk to him! Can't you obey a simple order you fucking bitch?!"

When he pulled out a knife from the kitchen, you were now scared for your life.

You tried to fight back, but Wooyoung was stronger than you and you were still in pain after the abortion.

He knocked you to the floor and managed to land 2 stab wounds into your right side.

You could never forget the wrath and hate in his eyes as he told you:

"I'm going to fucking kill you."

By some miracle, someone taller and stronger than Wooyoung got him off you, that someone being none other than Yeonjun.

He felt glad about following his hunch and followed you both back home, otherwise he'd end up reading about you in the newspaper.

He had no trouble in subduing Wooyoung and calling the police.

The only thing on his mind was getting you to the hospital as soon as possible.

"It's ok Y/N. You're going to be fine." He assured you

Your physical injuries were easy to recover from, but the emotional trauma and abuse Wooyoung put you through was not.

Yet Yeonjun was there every step of the way, going with you to therapy and just listening to you and your terrifying story.

For the first time in your life, you felt truly loved and happy....

And safe.

A year after the ordeal, you were doing much better and were nearly fully recuperated.

Yeonjun and you rented a place together and were completely in love with each other.

Everything seemed to be going perfect....

And then one day your phone rang.

Picking up, you asked "Hello?"

"Don't think it's over yet you dirty little rat."

[obx-imagines-07]

You Deserve to Be Loved - Part 1

READ PART 2 - HERE

JJ Maybank x Fem!Kook!Reader - Platonic!John B Routledge x Fem!Kook!Reader

Universe: Outer Banks

Type: angst but really fluffyyy cuddly JJbae at the end <3

Summary: John B and JJ can't understand why you are always protecting them and when they ask you, you get kinda emotional... And they start to take care of you too.

Request: yes|NO

Prompt: xxx

Warnings: if 'really cuties jj and jb' is a warning | mentions of abusive parents and death(?)

Song: xxx

Word Count: 1.9K

Posted: 20th of June 2020

A/N: i had this little idea for a blurb but got carried away, and i really hope that it got as good as i wanted it...

My Others Accounts: @hp-imagines-07 (Harry Potter) | @mcu-imagines-07 (Marvel Comics Universe) | @stit-imagines-07 (Stranger Things & IT)

Having JB and JJ as your best friends since always is the best thing ever, you three meet when you were just little kids and everything was perfect at the time. Their parents weren't something chaotic yet, but your life didn't change a bit.

You still had both of your parents and they loved you more than anything in this world, but in their case was something different.

JJ had lost his mother, his dad became an alcoholic and drug addict, and he had a few problems with anger that always gave JJ more bruises then you wanted to think or see. John B's mom went away when he was just a baby and his father went missing, a few years after that.

They don't have parents at all.

And that makes you feel so bad every single time because they're just such good boys, that deserve the hole love of the world for them, but the people that were born to love them the most on the world, just don't. And because you never felt what they must feel every day, looking around the house and not seeing a mom making breakfast or a dad watching the football match from yesterday, that he didn't watch because you two were fishing, swimming or just having fun together...

That's why you are always showing to them how much you love them, saying good things about them, holding them when they need someone... Always doing things that they're parents should.

You would be the one to bring more food to the chateau so they could have anything to eat for days, you would bring a few blankets when it was cold, you would clean around their house and cook - you first sucked at it, but you learned so you could make food for them -, you would even buy a few clothes for them as noticing that something was missing... You would look after them.

But something that you can't control is your feelings, so you ended falling for JJ, and, for your surprise, he felt the same way about you. But you could separate the moments you acted like a girlfriend and the moments that you had to be his mom.

You just did all of it for them 'cause they deserve it and 'cause you adore them.

And seeing them, right now, looking at you with angry faces and asking you the same question for the past minutes - that you didn't pay attention to count -, just broke your heart in a million pieces.

You just acted like that boring girl to help them. You want just the best and anything else to them because you love them because they deserve and need someone to take care of them.

"[y/n], I'm done asking why you act like that. We just want to understand why you are like this with us, we're not kids!" JB said angrily and you only sat at the couch from John B's living room, trying to normalize breath.

"Bro, chill. She'll answer us, just calm down." JJ tried to stay calm to not push any pressure on you because that boy knew too well how much you hated to be under pressure.

The two of them stayed quiet and looking at you waiting for an answer, while all you could do was try to control your breaths so weren't going to cry in front of them - that was the last thing that you wanted to do right now.

"It's just that..." You started and tried blinked the tears that started to blurry your vision away. "I want to protect you..." Your breathing started to get heavier by the seconds and John B was going to say something, but you stopped him. "Just let me finish, okay?" The boys just looked at each other and then nodded at you. "My parents do everything for me, they take care of me, they love me... But I think about you two and the unique people that were made to love you, just don't. And you don't deserve any of all of what you pass through, so I try to avoid it." At this moment, you couldn't control your tear anymore and even JJ was trying to clean his wet cheeks with the back of his hand. "I love you too much to just watch, I have to help you the way that I can, and I know that my love won't ever be able to get close to the one that you should get, but it can be a distraction or even help at any other way a little bit... I want to make sure that you know you're not alone and that I love you two." You said and sighted, so you could finish your thoughts. "So, the reason that I'm always bringing food, organizing the house, buying new clothes for you, paying attention to how many beers you drink, taking care when any of you gets sick, making breakfast, bringing blankets when it's cold and all the other stuff you were complaining about, is because you deserve to be loved and I love you."

Your red and puffy eyes locked with the baby blue ones and then meet the bright brown ones. All of you were with teary eyes, but you were the one that cried the most.

JJ and John B just looked at each other and looked like they were talking by their thoughts or sharing the same one because the two of them just came to your direction at the same time and hugged you.

They were so different from each other, but at the same time, they were so much alike. Well, they held you for the same reason, but you were able to differentiate them by the way they were hugging your little body against theirs.  John B was holding your torso with both of his arms, trying to bring you impossibly close. And JJ was with one arm around your hips and the other one holding your shoulders, trying to stop the way that they were shaking and breaking his heart together.

JB was feeling so guilty by pushing you to say all of that for them, while JJ was feeling shitty by being able to read you like an open book, but never even dreaming about something like this, and you were wanting to hold them and never let them go.

So you hold them. With your trembling and soft hands, you held the blond locks of JJ's hair so he wouldn't take his head off of your shoulder - and you could still fell his shaky breaths hitting your neck and hear his low sniffs and sobs -, and the back of John B's neck so he wouldn't move his head and took his chin out of the top of your hair. Your hands were so delicate that if anyone else saw the way you were touching them would think that they were made by glass and you were afraid to break it. JJ just noticed that one of your hands was lost in his hair when you started to play with it.

And you three stayed there for God knows how long, until John B took his arms off your torso and you took your hand off of him. But JJ wouldn't let go of you so early, so he brought both of his arms to your waist, hugging you from behind.

"Sarah wanted for me to call her after talking to you..." JB said and you knew pretty well that he was asking if he could call someone else at the moment, and you just smiled at him, that understood that he could call her and that you wouldn't be mad at him. "Would it be a problem if I go to spend the night there?"

He had never asked that to you, maybe because he never slept at any other place that wasn't his own house but with the way that John B was expectantly looking at you. He was asking for your permission to spend the night at Sarah's.

To anyone else, that question would make them think that he was being crazy to ask your permission to sleep at his girlfriend's house, but you noticed how things would change after the talk you just had...

"Of course not, just don't forget to text me when you get there." You said and the smile that John B gave to you, made everything you ever did feel worthy. JB got another outfit that you were pretty sure he would wear on the next day on the HMS POGUE and went to the van. 

JJ's arms around you always felt that they belonged there and you could get used to his scent and warm body against yours so easily... Your thoughts were stopped by the felling of sweet and soft kisses at your bare left shoulder and blond locks lightly tickling the side of your neck and jawline. Your head tilted slightly to give JJ more bare skin to kiss and your left got lost in his hair, while your right one interlocked fingers with one of his hands.

"J..." Your voice betrayed you by going out as a whisper, but it caught his attention that just hummed against your soft skin as an answer and you knew you could continue. "Could we just cuddle today?"

Your voice was low and begrudging and you hoped that JJ wouldn't notice it, but he did. And you didn't even need to explain why, because he already saw that you were afraid that he would want to have sex and just the fact that you weren't in the mood, would make him upset.

"And I thought you would never ask..." JJ whispered in your ear, sending a shiver pass through your spine and you didn't need to look at him to know that he is smiling, just like you.

You pulled him by the hand that was already in contact with yours to his bedroom, as he closed the door, your hands slipped away from each other and you grabbed one of the shirts that you bought to JJ, putting it on after taking off your bikini's top. When you looked at JJ's bed, you saw him wearing just his boxers and a huge smile with open arms and grabby hands. You chuckled seeing your hot ass boyfriend just with his black boxers, looking like a little boy.

But you didn't waste any time going there with him and holding his huge body against yours. JJ immediately dropped his head at his favorite place, between your breasts with one of his arms holding your waist against the bed and the other one going under your shirt and rubbing your back with his thumb. His cold hand made your whole body flinch and he just giggled, kissing your collarbone through his shirt. One of your hands started to play with his hair and the other was lightly caressing his wide and muscular back with your nails. 

The boy loved when your nails barely touched his back and the way it sends goosebumps all over his body.

And it tickles.

"Love." JJ's voice got muffled by his shirt and your skin, but you still listened and looked down at him, that was already looking at you with his chin resting at your chest. "'Just wanted to say that I love you." He softly and passionately kissed your lips and lied back between your breasts. 

You couldn't ask for a better life, a better boyfriend, or either for better boys to take care of. You loved JJ and JB, and if you were with them, you were safe, happy, and loved. And you knew that when you need them, they'll be there for you, just like you always did for them.

Taglist:

@ifeelinfiniteee @maybankluvr @queenmegzuniverse @fanficscuziranout @losers-club6 @rozz-alyne @caswinchester2000 @mendeshollandhood​  @queendmegzuniverse​ @p0gue420​ 

(if you want to be part of my taglist, click here)

[sarahjtv]

BNHA Chapter 306 Spoilers Quick Thoughts: Holy Shit, Deku

Ok, I’ve decided to wait until I read the ReadMHA fan translations to make a full “Spoiler Thoughts” post because it’s easier for me to look at them than look back and fourth at various Twitter accounts to get the full picture.  Regarless, THIS CHAPTER OH MY GOD!!!!!!!  I haven’t been this antsy for leak images since the “Dabi is Touya Todoroki” reveal.  I wanted to write this last night, but I was already in bed crying and screaming my head off that I couldn’t.  Now that I have most of it processed, I need to write down some quick thoughts at least to get some stuff out:

First of all, I need to address THE BALLS ON HORIKOSHI-SENSEI FOR PULLING THIS SHIT OUT ON US AND MAKING IT WORK SWEET JESUS I DID NOT SEE THIS COMING AT ALL!!!!!!  THIS MAN BAITED US WITH THE 2ND AND 3RD ONE FOR ALL USERS AND MAYBE SOME THERAPY FOR OUR KIDS BUT NOPE!  HE JUST PULLED THE RUG UNDER ALL OF US AND THEN MADE DEKU LEAVE UA AND GO ALL VIGILANTE ON OUR ASSES!!!!!  I HATE IT HERE BUT I ALSO LOVE IT HERE I-

Second of all, the big topic that we all need to talk about: Deku leaving UA and everyone else to go off on his own.

Out of all the twist Horikoshi has pulled on us, I think this is the biggest and most unexpected one.  I honestly did think that some UA students would quit trying to be Pro Heroes after the war because of how much corruption and trauma has been brought to the surface.  But, Deku was one of the last people on my mind.  Out of all the characters in this series, I would think Deku would stay and prove to everyone that it’s ok to keep striving towards being a hero.  But, no...  He still wants to be a hero, but not the way any of us expected.  

Before Deku left, he wrote and left individual letter for every one of his fellow 1-A students (and hopefully his mom, All Might, Mirio, and Eri (OH, ERI ;~;)).  In it, he tells them the truth about One For All and why Shigaraki and All For One are after him.  Of course, all the kids are devastated.  What’s interesting to me is that we didn’t get reactions from everyone, it was mainly Uraraka.  This makes me wonder a few things:

1. If Deku wrote these out individually (his arms probably mostly healed at this point b/c he’s using them in the last page), I wonder if he wrote anything special for some of them.  Especially the people he’s close to.  Like, I need to know what he wrote to Iida, to Uraraka, to Inko, to All Might, TO SHOTO, TO BAKUGO.

2. WE DON’T GET TO SEE SHOTO’S AND BAKUGO’S REACTIONS TO DEKU LEAVING THEM AND I NEED TO SEE THEM NOW!  I DON’T CARE HOW SAD AND ANGSTY IT WILL BE I NEED TO SEE THEM!  I WANT TO SEE SHOTO BE A LITTLE BETRAYED BY THE LYING BUT ALSO COME TO AN UNDERSTANDING THAT DEKU DID THIS TO KEEP EVERYONE SAFE!  I NEED TO SEE BAKUGO WONDERING WHERE HIS DAMN NERD WENT AND MAYBE TRY TO FIND HIM BECAUSE HE WAS THE ONLY OTHER STUDENT WHO KNEW ABOUT OFA!  I KNOW I’M SCREAMING BUT AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!!!!

The final panel takes place in April, about a month after the war started and ended.  We weren’t given a specific timeline in when exactly Deku left UA, but it’s somewhere within that month.  So, does this mean he’s been on his own for nearly a month?  What has he been doing this entire time?

And that final double-page spread...  Good lord almighty.  It shows Deku standing on top of a building looking down at a villain attacking the city.  He’s in his hero costume but it’s all ripped up and worn out (probably what remains of it after the war arc.  I noticed his air gauntlets and arm bracers are gone too after looking at Deku again.  He still has his iron soles for his Shoot Style though).  He has his backpack on him and what looks like the rest of Gran Torino’s cape.  It hasn’t been confirmed if Gran Torino is alive or dead if Deku took his cape, but I can only assume he died based on Deku’s sad face and that there’s honestly no way Torino survived his injuries I’m sorry.  I’d be shocked if he were alive at this point.

And the last panel...  Deku looks so tired.  The light in his eyes is just gone as he says “A big villain” while looking out at the city.  Bringing us back to Chapter 1 of BNHA where one of Deku’s first pieces of dialogue was “A big villain!” while watching it rampage in the middle of the city.  Everything’s come full circle it seems and in the most depressing way possible.  I feel so bad for Deku.  He’s only 16 and even though his will to be a hero is still strong, I feel like a part of him has died honestly.  That childlike hope and innocence he’s shown since the very beginning doesn’t look to be there anymore.  My boy’s exhausted, Horikoshi, please give him a break.  And give yourself one too.

I wonder, if Deku is still doing hero work, but isn’t at UA anymore, does this mean he’s a vigilante?  I know he has his Provisional License, but does that thing even work if you’re not enrolled in the Hero Program you went to?  Because if it doesn’t, then Deku has technically gone full vigilante.  He looks like he’s about to put his bunny mask on in that last panel actually.  His current state of his costume screams vigilante to me even.  I’m really interested in seeing what Deku’s been doing and what he’s going to do now.  We know he left UA to protect everyone he cares about (because OFA is like a beacon to AFO now), but how long is he going to keep this up?  Is he going to run into Bakugo or anyone else in the meantime?  Is he going to run into the vigilantes from the BNHA Spin-off manga (Koichi, Pop-Step, Knuckleduster) or other vigilantes?  Is he ever going to see his friends and mom again?  Will any of our UA kids drop out of the hero course too?  I have so many questions, guys.  I want to go back to high school shenanigans, but that’s clearly not happening soon.     

Finally, the chapter appears to be titled “The Beginning of The End” or “Opening of Final Chapter”.  Ngl, I legit thought that this meant that the series was really ending like Horikoshi talked about in his last interview.  I took that with a grain of salt, but I don’t know anymore.  This could mean an end to the whole “Academia” part of the story.  We might get a big time-skip like Naruto, One Piece, Haikyuu, and a lot of other manga did before it.  I kinda don’t want this to happen because I like seeing characters grow in chronological order and Horikoshi-sensei has been pretty good at twisting the usual tropes, but I don’t know this time guys.  The chapter ends on a good spot to do a big time-skip if Horikoshi wants.  But, honestly, everything’s up in the air right now.  I have so many theories in my head right now about what might happen next.  This is truly some peak fiction though like goddamn.  I really hope this doesn’t mean that we’re reaching the final arc of the series, but if Horikoshi want it to be, then I have no choice but to respect that.  I really hope it isn’t though.

Me after the insanity that was this chapter:  

[aestheticallyholland]

NEVER NOT | CONFESSIONS . . .

❃ PAIRING tom holland x fem!reader

❃ DISCLAIMER i do not own the artists (and the reader) that are going to portray the characters, but i do own some of the their names. the plot of the story is inspired to the book and movie 'to all the boys i've loved before' but with changes. the gifs and photos used in this series are edited by me but i get credits to the originals. also, this series is first posted in wattpad by me. PLEASE DO NOT REPOST IT SOMEWHERE ELSE !

❃ WORD COUNT 1.8k words

WANNA BE ON THE TAGLIST? feel free to comment on this post if you wanna be added to this series' taglist to get notified for updates !

NEVER NOT MASTERPOST | LEI'S LIBRARY

"It's the end of the Earth and the death of the universe that give me the insane courage to say that I am yours if you want me." - Krystal Sutherland, Our Chemical Hearts

*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

[ december 20, 2015 . . . ]

SEVERAL DAYS PASSED BY and Y/N still didn't have the guts to talk to Tom. She still couldn't face him after what happened just a few days before.

When they were in the same class, Tom would steal glances at her since she was in the first few seats in front of him. It still bothers him so much and every time he would look at her, he felt pain in his chest.

Of course, Y/N would notice this. She wanted to go up to him and talk through it with him. She wanted to apologize to him but she couldn't.

I guess this Christmas would be so lonely. Y/N thought to herself.

As she walked to the hallway towards her locker, she saw Tom leaning on the lockers near hers. She stopped her tracks until Tom noticed that she was there. She felt her heart beating so fast she couldn't describe the feeling anymore.

She walked slowly towards her locker while Tom was just looking at her and placed some of her things inside.

"Is now the perfect time to talk?" Tom suddenly asked that made Y/N jumped a little.

She looked at him slowly until their eyes were locked to each other. She felt that she couldn't talk so she remained silent but nodded in agreement. She closed her locker and they both walked together outside the school building.

The walk was silent and Y/N just followed where Tom was walking to. They walked until they stopped in front of a black motorcycle. Tom got a helmet and sat on his motorcycle and Y/N just stood there confused. Tom looked at Y/N who was just standing there.

"Come on," Tom said and held his hand out for her. She smiled a little and took it and sat behind him. He gave her another helmet and she placed it around her head.

"Hold on to me, Y/N," Tom mumbled and started the engine. Y/N slowly wrapped her arms around Tom's waist then Tom drove out of the school.

Y/N didn't know where they were going, but she hoped they could talk things through with Tom.

*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

"Where are we?" Y/N asked when they took off their helmets on their heads and got off the motorcycle.

They were in a place where they could see the city lights. It was like they were on top of the world. They could see the sunset clearly in there.

"This is so—" Y/N stopped when the wind blew and her hair flew. "Beautiful."

Tom chuckled and looked at her as she watched the sun setting. The ray of light hit her face and her hair flew.

She looked so much more beautiful. Tom said to himself. She always does.

He glanced at her hands and suddenly got one of them. This startled Y/N and turn to his side to face him.

"Look, Y/N." Tom started and sighed before continuing. "I'm so sorry for everything." He said. "I'm really sorry for yelling at you and for being such a jerk."

Y/N didn't say anything so Tom went on.

"Everything that I said during the ski trip is true. I mean those, Y/N." Tom said. "What I feel for you is real." He held both of her hands and brought them closer to his chest.

"I tried to resist it but every time I hang out with you, I just can't help it." He said and chuckled. "You are the most amazing girl that I've ever met, Y/N."

Y/N could feel her cheeks burning with everything he said.

"I..." Tom paused for a while because his heart was pounding so fast. "I love you, Y/N."

Y/N's heart suddenly beats so fast with those words of love. She held on tight to his hands and felt tears coming out of her eyes.

"W-what's wrong? Did I do something?" Tom stuttered while asking her when he saw tears coming from his eyes.

Y/N smiled a little although she was crying. It wasn't even a sad cry, it was tears of joy.

"That's the first time someone confessed to me," Y/N admitted and chuckled while wiping the tears from her eyes.

Tom felt relief and pulled Y/N to a hug. "I thought I said something bad that made you cry." He said.

Y/N smiled and said. "I love you too, Tom, so much." She looked at him and he looked down at her.

"I'm sorry that I didn't let you explain your side, Tom." She said. "I was so blinded with anger at that time. It wasn't even about the scrunchie. I just thought you betrayed me." She explained and broke down.

Tom placed a hand on her cheek and wiped away tears from her eyes. "I would never do that to you, Y/N."

"Really?" Y/N asked him and Tom gave a big smile.

"I swear." He held out his pinky finger to her. But instead of intertwining her pinky to his, she pressed her lips to Tom's like a seal for the promise. Tom was taken back at the kiss before kissing her back. Y/N pulled away from the kiss first and said, "It's a swear then." She smiled at him.

Tom smiled back and remembered something that he was going to give her. He let go of Y/N's hand and went through his pockets until he finally got it.

"Here, I got this back for you," Tom said and gave out the Y/N's scrunchie. Y/N's eyes widen when she saw her scrunchie and received it.

"I had to talk to Camille to get it back for you right after you left me," Tom explained. "It wasn't easy, honestly." He chuckled.

"But how did she—" Before Y/N could finish asking, Tom answered right away.

"Remember the first party that went together?" He asked her and she gave a nod. "Camille actually got to talk to me and got it. I don't know why but I forgot about it when she suddenly asked me about you."

Y/N understood him. "I forgive you, Tom. I'm just glad you got it back. It's my only memory of my mom." She said.

"So." Tom started. "Are we okay now?" He asked just to make sure.

"Of course," Y/N answered.

It was already starting to get dark and the city is starting to light up. They decided to stay there for a while to appreciate the beauty of the city while cuddling with each other.

"How did you even know this place?" Y/N asked him. Her head was on his chest and his hand was stroking her hair.

"My family and I go here for hiking and we would end up having lunch or dinner here," Tom said.

"We should do that together," Y/N suggested. "You know, me, you, Erika, and Harrison." She added.

"Would that be fine with you?" Tom asked and Y/N nodded.

They stayed there a little longer until they decided that it was already getting late. They went to Tom's motorcycle hand-in-hand. They wore their helmets and drove down to the city. Y/N held on to Tom as he drove going to her house.

After a few minutes, they have finally arrived at her house. The neighborhood was quiet since it was already night.

"Thank you for today, Tom," Y/N said as she went down from the motorcycle. "I'm glad we got to talk things through." She added.

"Same here." He replied.

Y/N was about to go towards the door until Tom stopped her first.

"Before you go," Tom called out for her and she looked back to him and gave him a confused look.

He walked closer to her until she could look up to him since he is taller than her.

"Will you be my girlfriend?" Tom asked her which made her feel her heart beat faster. "For real this time?" Tom was smiling at her which she couldn't resist.

"Yes." She answered right away that made Tom even happier. He wrapped his arms around her. Y/N giggled as she hugged her. He suddenly picked her up and spun her around which made her squeal.

"Tom!" She exclaimed and laughed.

"She said yes!" He shouted and Y/N slapped him playfully.

"You're gonna wake the neighbors up." Y/N scolded him but he just gave her a big smile.

"You don't know how happy I am right now," Tom said.

"I am so happy too, Tom," Y/N replied. Tom gave her a peck on the lips and Y/N deepened it. They pulled from each other and just looked at each other's eyes.

"I love you, Y/N," Tom whispered, loud enough for her to hear him

"I love you, Thomas." She replied and smiled.

"You should go now before your dad opens the door." Tom joked that made her laugh.

"Good night, Tom." She said and remained standing as he walked towards his motorcycle.

"Good night, love!" He said and rode his motorcycle. "Think about me!" Those were his last words before he drove home.

Y/N smiled to herself and went inside her house then went straight to her room. Her house was so quiet so her father and sister were probably asleep already.

She collapsed herself to her bed and gave a heavy sigh. She was glad that Tom was a person who didn't give up on her. She was glad that he is part of her life now.  She is so lucky to have him.

After a few minutes of daydreaming, she finally drifted off to sleep.

*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

It was already almost midnight and Tom just finished taking a bath. It was just a few minutes after he arrived home from dropping off Y/N.

As he went to his room, he turns on the lights and changed to his sleeping outfit, a plain shirt, and sweatpants.

As he was wiping his hair with a towel, he noticed a white paper on his table that he had never seen before. He placed his towel around his shoulder and decided to read it for himself.

His eyes widen as soon as he finished reading it and placed it back down.

I got in. He said to himself and sat down on his bed.

Now he has more decisions to make and to think about.

What should I do? Tom asked himself.

❃ TAGLIST @allthisfortommy @kait4073 @lovebittenbyevans @l0ve-0f-my-life @spiitfiires @robertpattinson-th @jackiehollanderr @butterflies-glitter

[tbhwhocaresanymore]

Nancy Drew 2x2

Me in my naïveté: surely, the Nancy Drew writers, the best writers the CW has on staff, have run out of ways to bring back past moments and episodes that seemed unimportant at the time.

ND writers: Bitch you thought?

Y’ALL

When I say tonight’s episode made me absolutely lose my actual goddamn mind that is not in any way an exaggeration. My brain physically pried itself out of my skull and ran away down the street.

Jesus Jedediah Christ the way they brought back those five people/ghosts who at the time seemed absolutely unimportant and sent me so entirely off my rocker if I even attempt to think about it for more than two seconds I’ll spontaneously combust so we’re going to have to work around it.

First off, no surprise: HANNAH GRUEN. My bae. My wife. Love of my life. You were only there for two minutes but they were exquisite.

Second I fucking KNEW that dude from the Marvin funeral episode was important. If you’ll recall from my review my theory at the time was that maybe HE killed Owen, but you know what this was so much better.

Okay, to business. At the beginning when Nancy is seeing all of the scratches on Douglas Marvin’s grave and then we zoom out to kind of see the Aglaeca in the side of the frame, and then zoom out more and it turns around and LOOKS at us doing that creepy little swaying thing? POETIC CINEMA. Riverdale wants what Nancy Drew has.

That “unfortunate first meeting” George had with Nick’s mom and her subsequent attempts to prove herself, culminating in Millie giving her the dumpling recipe? Adorable. Speaking of the mom, I do indeed hope we see more of her. Her and Nick’s moment at the end of the episode where he talked about seeing her cry in the courtroom absolutely broke my heart. I can’t handle the thought of him not at the very least having the occasional phone call with her from this point onwards.

To be entirely honest almost every scene with the mom broke my heart. When she was talking about how she and her husband raised Nick to always do everything right and lost him anyway? Hhhhhhhhhhhhh it hurts. The writers said they would be keeping BLM in mind while writing this season, like how they kept Me Too in mind for the first one, and I was a little worried it would be hamfisted. But if they continue as they did tonight it will be nothing but beautiful.

Guys. Guys. I know I said I had no idea how to talk about it but I have to talk about it. That scene in the orphanage. When they find the photo. And Nancy realizes she has seen all of those ghosts before.

GUYS.

EPISODE 3.

SINCE EPISODE THREE THE WRITERS HAVE BEEN PLANNING THIS.

GODDAMN DO WE LOVE CONTINUITY AND FOLLOWING THROUGH ON PLOT LINES AND WRITERS WHO KNOW WHAT THE FUCK THEY’RE DOING. I WANT TO FIND THE SHOWRUNNER AND KISS THEM ON THE MOUTH.

Ahem.

Anyway.

I thought Carson and Ace had some really nice moments this episode. i.e. “The guy at the store said it was a one man job.” “I think the guy at the store lied to you.” I am, however, curious if Nancy is going to ever bring her father in on the fact that supernatural beings exist and that she deals with them on the reg. Like I know he helped them out with the coma ritual with McGinnis (McGinnis come back 😭😭😭) but they never really brought it up with him again, and he’s been like kept out of the loop on it all ever since. I’m just wondering if he in fact actually knows and is just remarkably calm all the time, or if he’s in denial, or what. But tbh I do have a very strong amount of sympathy for Carson, and I really want him and Nancy to get back on good terms. At the end of the episode when she brought him the coffee and stuff I teared up a little. I’m an adult, I can admit it. Maybe it’s just because I’m such a massive fan of the books, where she and her dad were so close, but having them at odds especially after they started out that way, is painful.

Speaking of the books.

Fernwood orphanage. Hhhhhh writers I see what you did there. But for those of you who don’t know, in Nancy Drew #9 The Sign of the Twisted Candle, Nancy Bess and George stop at a roadside inn/bed and breakfast type place. At the inn is a 100 year old man named Ada Sydney who Nancy befriends, along with a young orphan waitress named Carol Wipple whom Ada has a soft spot for. The next day he dies, and turns out Carson is his lawyer and Nancy goes with him for the will reading. Long story short, Carol is apparently his granddaughter and he leaves her like EVERYTHING, but when she was young she grew up at, drumroll please!

FERNWOOD ORPHANAGE. I AM DECEASED.

And the Stratemeyer woods? For the same people, Stratemeyer Syndicate was the place that published all the Nancy Drew, Hardy Boys, Bobbsey Twins, Tom Swift books, etc. You will not be able to find them today however, as they were bought by Simon and Schuster in like 1987.

Back to the show.

When Detective Tamura (aka The Inferior McGinnis Who Can Rot In Hell) said the skeleton was Buddy and NOT KJ (AJ? I’m deaf) I got suspicious. And then as soon as they played the record and only five ghosts showed up, I was all ‘HOLY SHIT HE IS ALIVE’ and then he WAS. At the end of the episode, when they saw the flowers on the graves? You guys I was LOSING. MY MIND. And then the note saying “forgive me -kitsune” aaaaaaah. I am in fact afraid that he wants forgiveness because he sacrificed the others to save himself, but I am praying the writers do not do that to me.

I’m interested in finding out, assuming we meet KJ/AJ next episode, WHY the 1975 group reached out to the Aglaeca in the first place. Nancy and Crew did it because they needed Lucy Sable’s bones from 20 years ago to get Carson off the hook for murder, I am assuming these guys had at least as good a reason. And the Aglaeca herself. Dear god you guys. Odette Marvin. I’ve been saying and we’ve all known for a while, that she was wronged by the Marvin family. But Lordy that’s extreme. Listening to the overlaying recording? They low key abducted her, stole her fortune, her chaperone and the captain betrayed her, she was presumably bound hand and foot had her head shaved and got thrown into the ocean. I think I might be a little murderous too ngl. Although it begs the question, why exactly did Douglas Marvin have her painted into the hall of tragedies? I don’t think it was to gloat. Maybe Odette haunted him after the fact and added herself into the painting? But my favorite theory is that Odette as the Aglaeca started killing all the people who were in on it, her chaperone, the captain, etc., (I assume there were six) and Douglas saw the others dying and painted her into the portrait as a way to warn future generations of Marvins, rather than fess up to what he had done. I also want to know the deal with the first women to summon her, and the mirror? There is potential there I KNOW IT.

If you’re not a Drewson shipper feel free to skim this paragraph but guys Nick and Nancy are soulmates it’s confirmed. I’m not even kidding guys I was in no way shape or form prepared for the amount of Nick x Nancy content I got tonight. When Nick is at her house and they mention how they skipped friendship the first time around? “We skipped a lot of things the first time around.” DEAD. And then later at the Claw, when Nancy and not George came to comfort him post fight with the mother? And then he saw that look Nancy gets where her eyes flit around cause her mind is working overtime? *chef’s kiss* My prediction is they will spend this season building up a strong, solid, foundational Nancy x Nick friendship and then when they give the romance a second go they will be so. much. stronger. I’m guessing season 3 will be spent in a bit of a complicated love triangle with Nick and Nancy (re)developing feelings for each other while still having them for George and Ace, making the eventual payoff all the more delightful.

I close this review - which was admittedly less of a review and more of me shrieking incoherently - off with a plea to the writers.

*eyes turn black*

WHERE IS DEAD LUCY

WRITERS

WHERE IS SHE

IT HAS BEEN ALMOST A YEAR. FOR TEN MONTHS NOW I HAVE GONE WITHOUT HER. SHE HAS BEEN GONE SINCE EPISODE 16. NO SCREAMING. NO CREEPY CRAWLING. NOTHING. WHERE IS MY DAUGHTER. BRING HER TO ME.

*shakes self* Glad to get that out of my system. See you all next week for 2x3, The Secret of the Solitary Scribe.

[shirtlesssammy]

15x15: Gimme Shelter

Then:

Dean used his words to save the world once

Now:

At a food bank community center, three teens dole out food while stressing out about one attendant who’s breaking their cleanliness rules. Connor heads over to talk to the woman, but is stopped by the center’s pastor. The pastor challenges Connor’s motivation. ”We have rules, but we also have spirit too, right?” The pastor tells Connor to lead with compassion, so Connor brings the woman food instead of kicking her out of the building. 

Later, Connor walks home. Much like all other cold open walks, this one also involves a solitary alley. He hears someone calling his name. Trying to find the source of the voice, he trips and finds a talking teddy bear, and a metal hook around his neck.

Dean and Sam discuss research. Sam’s found a non-case, while Dean’s hit the jackpot in Atlantic City. Specifically, an unexplained blackout has him thinking that Amara’s enjoying her new gambling addiction on the East Coast. 

Cas pops up and thinks he should go with the brothers, but they tell him to stay put and babysit Jack. I say TFW is just better together, but I’m not writing this episode. Hrmph. The brothers are packed and ready to go, but Jack stops them in the war room to ask about the case Sam found.

Sam tells him it’s nothing. Dean encourages Cas and Jack to investigate --to keep Jack busy. Cas seems skeptical, but Dean insists.

Agents Swift and Lovato meet with the local law enforcement to learn more about the case. Sweet Jesus is it cute that Cas continues to use pop-star names. It’s cute that Jack takes after his father with the upside down badge. It’s cute that Jack recognizes the teddy bear and says he has one (Did Cas buy it for him? He has a history of buying stuffed animals for his quasi-children.) 

The sheriff tells them about the victim, and how the word ‘Liar’ was carved into him. 

Jack posits that this all seems demonic. 

Cut to Cas digging into the ground at a crossroads. Time to get some information. Cas buries a picture of himself that Dean took when he was wearing a cowboy hat (Don’t worry, Dean still has his copy, and keeps it safe…. for reasons.) and Jack sets up a social media account. He’s WAY under 13 years old, so he needs a parent’s permission. Cas grants it easily. (Also, ALSO!! ALSO, there are NOT too many cats on the internet. This writing is so OOC, smh.) 

A demon appears. 

He’s channeling his inner Crowley, and I suddenly miss the bugger for a moment. Zach, the demon, is very bored and desperately wants something to do. He’s not really British and tells the duo that no one's making demon deals right now. Rowena’s of the philosophy that “people will end up where they belong.” Cas realizes their mistake and moves to leave.  “Sam was right, it’s not a monster,” Jack laments. “He was half right. Sometimes humans can be the worst kind of monsters,” Cas adds. 

At the community center, a woman locks up, and grabs a whole lotta cash from the donation box before she bails. Once outside, she hears a voice call her name. She looks around but sees nothing. She turns back to her car to find a masked individual. A weird editing choice cuts back to her...and commercial. 

Cas checks in with the brothers. Dean tells Cas to be wary of those “Hallelujah types” and I’m like, wha? Cas is an ANGEL OF THE LORD. He’s been around the block, Dean. Lol for looking out for your BFF, tho. Also, second awkward moment of the episode when Dean just hangs up on Cas? I’m…

Sam voices his reservations about the whole finding Amara --lying to Amara --killing Amara plan. Say it louder for the brother in the seat next to you, Sam! 

(Boris: I’m just going to insert this in the middle of this recap and never mention it again. Can we trust Billie? Is her plan actually something that is GOOD for our TFW 2.0? What is her agenda and does it align with what we want? What if what SHE wants is as equally bad as what Chuck wants? What if we as an audience are getting played right now??) (Natasha: What if the strings she’s pulling are emotional and she’s playing a dangerous game of chicken with Dean’s rage and Chuck’s entitlement?)

Jack joins the community center. He watches Dr. Sexy the pastor in a prayer circle, and talks to a disillusioned young woman who asks him to fill out a form before walking away. 

Cas walks in separately and wanders over to Dr. Sexy the pastor praying with a parishioner, and tells him about the cash stealing Valerie. She never made it home. 

Cut to Valerie tied and gagged. Her hands are in an elaborate guillotine. She wakes. Her screams are muffled. A TV turns on and flashes the word ‘Thief’. And one of her fingers gets chopped off. A timer starts on the TV. AND WE ALL RECOIL. 

Jack finishes the paperwork and tries to talk to the girls working the food line. The one girl storms off, upset. Jack follows her and tells her that he didn’t mean to upset her. 

She tells him that Connor and her dated. Well, they watched a lot of old movies together.  (AHEM! AHEM! AHEM! “I’m your Huckleberry.” AHEM. Please stop the clowning, it hurts so much.) 

Jack confesses to the girl that he lost his mother. The girl tells Jack that her mom died three years ago, and now it’s just her and her emotionally unavailable father, the pastor. “I have more dads than most, and I’m always just feeling like I’m letting all of them down.” JACK!!!! The girl tells Jack to trust God, not people. 

And we laugh, and laugh, and, guh, laugh. 

Cas, meanwhile, meets with Dr. Sexy the pastor. 

Cas interrogates Dr. Sexy Pastor about whether anyone else has gone missing recently. Well, there was one guy who used to work for the “faith-based community” but they parted ways. Cas and the pastor enjoy a little god talk. Cas, the weary angel, opines that God just doesn’t care. The pastor has a different take on faith - it’s about the people of his church doing what they can to take care of each other. We learn that this church recently changed from a fundamentalist branch to something more welcoming. Connor was able to come out as gay due to the changes, so some good happened. (Hindsight thoughts: this makes his death and the “Liar” all the more awful.) “A saint is a sinner who keeps trying,” the pastor concludes...and if that ain’t the truth about Cas!

Sam and Dean are on the too-slow train to Atlantic City when Amara drops in during a gas stop and invites them out for pierogi. 

At Patchwork, the pastor asks Jack to share his journey of faith during a prayer circle. Jack falters, and Cas steps in. “I do know what blind faith is. I used to just follow orders. Without question. And I did some pretty terrible things. I would never look beyond the plan. Then, of course, when it all came crashing down I found myself lost. I didn’t know what my purpose was anymore. And then one day something changed. Something amazing. I guess I found a family. And I became a father. And in that, I rediscovered my faith. I rediscovered who I am.” BRB crying!

Later in the cafeteria, Jack asks Sexy Pastor, M.D. how he brought together so many people with different ideas of religion. “It’s not about what they believe. It’s what they do,” he reiterates. (I imagine, for a moment, an ending where Jack calls out to the whole world and all living creatures and Heaven and Hell unite to win the final confrontation and make a better world together.)

The tranquil moment is interrupted by the TV turning on to security feed footage of the victim. The timer runs out and she loses another finger and screams and screams. Jack rushes over to the TV and pulls out a USB stick from the back.

Meanwhile, the Winchesters dine with Amara.

They bring up Chuck’s destruction of the other universes and tell her they have a plan to stop him. They’ve got a nephilim on their side AND he’s super powerful. All they need is for Amara to help them trap Chuck and...WHAMMO. Amara gently refuses to betray her brother. She lays some new mythology on them. She and Chuck are twins - creation and destruction - and their splitting apart first brought life into the world. 

Cas and Jack barge into the church’s ex-AV tech’s room. And by that, I mean, Jack gets hurled through another door? Um. Okay. The part of me that grew up with 3 Stooges is HERE FOR IT, tbh. 

They discover the guy is dead, chained up in bed with cuffs, with the word “lust” painted above him.

Getting ready to leave town, Sam’s ready to accept Amara’s choice. Dean “Fuck Acceptance” Winchester heads back inside and corners Amara. He asks why she brought back Mary. 

Amara tells him that she wanted him to see that the apple pie dream life he’s always striving for isn’t real - that Mary was only human - and BETTER because of that. Amara thought that would help him to accept his life. Amara also thought that having Mary back would release Dean from his anger. 

He leans forward and lets her know that he’s furious. Everyone in this universe is trapped, he tells her - including her. And she’s doing nothing. Amara falters in the face of this, and then asks him if she can trust him. “I would never hurt you,” he LIES TO HER FACE. She tells him she’ll think about it.

That evening Sylvia, the pastor’s daughter, listens to her friend gush over the social media attention she’s getting after posting about the torture video. In a flash of rage, Sylvia stabs her friend and races away. Dr. Sexy Pastor finds the current (still alive) victim just as Sylvia catches up to him. She accuses him of laughing at her mother after her mother died from trying to heal by prayer rather than medical science. She accuses him of changing the church that her mother grew up in. Jack jumps into the fray and gets stabbed for his trouble. When Cas arrives, Sylvia is quickly subdued by his Vulcan forehead tap of slumber.

Cas yanks away the restraints from the victim (SOOOO strong) and then heals her fingers back on while the pastor looks on in wonder. 

For So Strong Science:

Later, they gather outside while Sylvia gets taken away in cuffs. The pastor still cares about his daughter and vows to get her help. The driver of the car is Zach the crossroads demon? Oookay. 

Cas and Jack drive home. In the truck of feelings, Cas asks Jack why he couldn’t share during the prayer circle. Jack confesses that he’s been lying. The spell Billie is doing with him is turning him into a bomb to be used against Chuck and Amara. It’ll work - they’ll cease to exist. But Jack will be obliterated too. “This is the only way they’ll ever forgive me,” he tells Cas. 

Cas is horrified. He can’t watch Jack die again! Cas refuses to watch Jack die again, but Jack seems to have fully embraced this as his necessary fate.

Back at the bunker, Dean heads for the whiskey bottle late at night when he spots Cas shuffling towards the exit. Jack’s settled in his room, Cas reports. Cas then tells Dean he’s going to look for “another way.” 

Oh AND, “In case something goes wrong and I don’t make it back, there’s something you and Sam need to know…” 

FADE. TO. BLACK.  

The Se7en Deadly Quotes:

You guys go Highway to Heaven that bitch

You look greener than Baby Yoda

“Did anyone find any tiny bags with chicken bones inside?” “Did anyone smell sulfur?” “Did anyone feel cold?”

There were too many cats

Where can I find the Kool-Aid?

I wanted you to see that your mother was just a person

It was a gift, Dean. Not a trial

Want to read more? Check out our Recap Archive! 

[creeperchild]

Funtime Freddy x reader chapter 2 - Danger

Hello my peeps. FINALLY I finished my 2nd part of that fanfiction. Jesus. After nearly two years! But here it is. And this time my gf helped me once more. So please check her out @thefredricus ! Again, I hope I can finish off that fanfiction!First part-.> https://creeperchild.tumblr.com/post/177130218435/funtime-freddy-x-reader-chapter-1-the-encounter

________________________________________________________________        

            (y/n) = your name 

 _______________________________________________________________ You hold yourself tight and close to Freddy as he leads you through the dark establishment. Rustling of metal and the sound of steps echoe from all around you. Freddy turns to you, his sapphire eyes bright in the pure darkness.

"Are you okay?" He asks, worried as his hand holds your hand a tad tighter. You could only answer with a short "yes" and you both continue to walk. Soon he stops and some sort of beeping noise can be heard. A door opens and a bright shine greets you. Funtime Freddy can only smile as he pulls you into the room with him. Apparently the bright light is a lamp that dangles from the ceiling, but it doesn’t illuminate much of the room. The bear lets go of your hand and starts to wave a bit while chuckling:

"H~Hello friends! I have brought you somebody!" With that he steps aside, offering the darkness to glare at you. You stare back for a moment. A feminine voice echoes out of the darkness.

"You must be new... am I right?" You nod slowly. A huge shadow piles up in front of you. You step back in fear and stumble over a wire and you fall on your butt. The mysterious shadow walks closer and finally steps into the light. 

It is a girl-like animatronic with orange hair, put in two pigtails. Her white face is beautiful with her rosy cheeks and the bright smile on her lips. But in this situation it is rather creepy. She is wearing a red dress and clown shoes, fitting to the rest of her looks. She kneels down and puts her hands on her knees, getting a bit closer to you. You crawl back and press against the wall as you watch her, breathing heavily. From the corner of your eye you notice two shadows coming out of the darkness as well. One is a fox, a rather female looking one because of its fingernails and lipstick. A big tail waves slowly from side to side behind it. The other shadow is a person you already met. It is the ballerina from yesterday. You cringe at the awkward memory of kicking her in the face. The animatronic in front of you leans closer and speaks in a calm and slightly threatening voice:

"You will not scoop us...will you?" Her green eyes wander over you. She stares for a while at your hurt wrist. You stay quiet and try to calm down as much as you can. You don’t want to admit it, but you are really creeped out now. The girl moves a bit closer and asks the same question again and accentuate the "will you?" You realise you have to answer and shake your head. The girl closes her eyes and sighs.

"Anyways...", she stands up "my name is Circus Baby, but just call me Baby."

"My name is Funtime Foxy. Nice to meet you!", the fox bows down and smiles at you. You can tell by the old-timey and deep voice that the fox is indeed a male. The ballerina walks slowly to you, every step perfectly placed as if she is on stage.

"And I'm Ballora and I think that belongs to you." She hands you the shoe that you lost. Guilt fills your eyes when you stand up. As you take the shoe you start to stutter an apology for yesterday. But before you complete the first words she interrupts you.

"It is fine. Everybody makes mistakes." She gives you a warm smile.

"So...what is your name?", Baby asks curiously. You hesitate before answering:

"(y-y/n)." You put your lost shoe back on where it belongs. 

Baby grabs you all of a sudden by the neck and presses you against the wall. You struggle for air, but the strong metallic hand keeps you in one place. Baby slowly leans down and speaks, still in her soft and calm voice.

"And if you dare to betray us...(y/n).. then this will be your end...", she tightens her grip as she speaks. Her eyes pierce through your soul as she stares down on you. She slightly opens her hand to give you the chance to breathe. Choking for air you nod slightly. Then, we you least expect it, Freddy jumps into the situation by throwing confetti in the air and Bonbon blowing a party whistle.

" We have a new friend!!" Freddy happily exclaims. Baby rolls her eyes and finally lets go of you. You drop down onto your knees and gasp for air. This time the fox speaks to Freddy:

"Pardòn Freddy, but don't you need to take care of the power system?"

"Oh god! I forgot! I’m gonna be right back!" With those words the bear runs out of the room. Baby grabs you once more, but this time your wrist. You wince in pain as the clown girl examines the bruise. "You must be lucky...", whispers Baby as she runs her thick metal thumb over the wrist. Looking at her confused, not knowing what to say, you decide to stay silent. The girl lets out a sigh.

“You don't know what I mean, right? Let's just say.. .Funtime Freddy can be a bit... extreme. Every person that came into his room where dead or in the hospital for nearly 8 months, but only if you are lucky enough." Your eyes widen in shock as you gulp your saliva down.

"It's 6 am. We need to go now.", Ballora said. All of the animatronics walks out of the room, but not Baby. She turns around one last time.

"Be careful with Freddy... one wrong move and it could be your demise...". 

Now you sit all alone in the empty room. Slowly but surely you go back to the main room after the lights got turned on again. Ballora's gallery is HUGE. It takes a while, but you find your oh so familiar vent and make your way through. You stand up, brush the dust off of you and press the red button for the elevator. It takes a while before the rusty thing even bothers to move for you. Something tugs gently on your shirt. You slowly turn around and jump by the sight of Freddy.

"Oh! sorry if I scared you..!". He sounds rather nervous and shy as he continues:

" I~I just wanted to tell you... you..."

"We like you alot, (y/n)!", Bonbon bursts out. Funtime Freddy immediately turns his head away, to hide his blushing face. You stare at Freddy for a while as he slowly drops his head down, ashamed. Baby's words came back into your mind. 'Be careful with Freddy' was now stuck in your thoughts. You didn't want to anger him for sure. So you did what was best for you: forced a smile and hugged him!

"I like you too," you lie to the bear and hide your fear for him as best as you can. He hugs you tight and relief washes over you. Suddenly you feel some small hits on the right side of your back. Apparently Freddy hugs you so tight that he presses Bonbon's face into your back who also now struggles to get air and flails his tiny arms against your back for the hope to live.

"MPHHHH!"

Freddy quickly pulls away from you as he notices his friend is dying. Bonbon inhales deeply as he got the chance. Finally the elevator arrives and opens the doors for you to enter. "Y-you come bac~back tonight, right?"Hope glimmers in his eyes when he asks the question. You nod and the doors close quickly after you step into it, sending you back to the surface. Freddy watches until you disappear into the huge tubes of the lift. He bursts into a loud cackle and bounces up and down like an excited school kid, celebrating what he just achieved.

"Bonbon, SHE LIKES US!", the white bear squeals in excitement. Bonbon can’t help himself and squeals with him.

"I KNOW RIGHT!?"

"I h~have an idea. We should give her a surp~prise when she comes back!"

You open the door to your house just to find your curious mom waiting for your arrival.

"Good morning, (y/n)! How was your first night shift?" Your mom smiles happily. A sigh escapes you before you plop down into a chair opposite of hers.

"It was okay, I guess." You don’t say much and just watch your mom stir her coffee with a spoon. Finally daylight breaks through the windows and lights up the big, white and sparkly clean kitchen. It is quiet for awhile.

"So..anything interesting happened?" Your mother doesn’t want to give up apparently. She triggers all the memories of the events that happened last night. Everything flashes through your mind. The blackout. The Animatronics. Especially Freddy comes to your mind. The head of yours lowers down as you see your bruised arm again. Holding back the burning need to cry you stutter out:" No, nothing happened. I'm just tired and want to go to bed." Before your mom can say anything you are already running upstairs to your room.

You quickly slip into your room and lock the door behind you. Warm tears burn against your cold face. You feel weak and alone. You crawl under the blanket in your bed and close your eyes in the hope that everything was just a bad dream. 'Why do I have such bad luck? Why are there living animatronics?? Why is Freddy like that?? Will I die..?'

Before you know it, you doze off.

A loud knocking throws you out of your sleep.

"(y/n)? Are you awake?" It was your small brother as much as you can tell in your state. "What do you want?" You groan. Your brother snaps at you: "Dinner is ready, you buttface!" Loud and uneven footsteps can be heard as he makes his way downstairs. You sit up and stretch a bit to get rid of the tiredness. A sigh escapes you as the surrounding clears up to you. Your pink and cutesy room was always a thorn in your eye. The walls are in a pastel pink with some old horse designs on them. You asked, even begged your mom for a wallpaper change. But she always refused. You will always be her little princess. Luckily you covered the embarrassment with posters of bands, movies and games you love. At least, most of it. You jump out of your bed and head downstairs. The family is already there, waiting for you. You sit down on the only free chair and grab some food. As your family has a funny conversation about their favorite Tv show you don’t say much and stare down at your plate.

"All okay?" The dad of yours asks, worried. You said nothing, afraid to tell him the truth.

"Nothing, it's all okay.", you finally reply. 

The rest of the day you mindlessly watch Tv to get rid of those horrible thoughts.

But before you know it, it is time again. You reluctantly get up and slowly but surely prepare yourself for the night shift. You grab some clothes and head to the shower. Fighting with your own thoughts, you decide to go back to your job, because you desperately need the money. The refreshing shower helps you clear your thoughts a litte. After you dress yourself you get your backpack and stuff it with various items you might need. A flashlight, some drinks and snacks, your telephone and a handy toolbox. In front of the mirror you put your hair in a ponytail. [If you have short hair then just ignore it.]

"Sweetheart, it's already passed half twelve! You gotta go now or you will be late!!" Your mom yells from downstairs. You don't even know why she is still up so late, but you don't bother too much to ask. The door squeak as you exit your safe house. 

After the long bike ride of 20 minutes you finally see the sketchy building. It is barely visible because of the lack of street lights close by. You close your eyes for a moment to take a deep breath before you enter it. With fast steps, you go to the lift and close the doors. This time, you have a plan to survive. Just block off the vents and you'll be fine, right? HandUnit is quiet today, too quiet for your taste. The lights flicker as the elevator reaches the bottom floor. You get out and lower yourself to crawl through the vent. The space is a bit tighter, since you have your backpack on. Finally, you slip out of that stupid vent. You throw your bag onto the table and search for the toolbox inside of it. Strangely enough you feel like being watched. So you turn around and you figure you aren't wrong. Your body freezes as you see blue eyes piercing through the window in the darkness of Ballora's gallery, staring directly at you. You feel how your heart beats faster and faster. Sweat runs down your face as you feel how your body gets weaker. The illuminating eyes goes down for some reason and the sound of something, or someone in the vents can be heard.

"No no NO!" You cry out as your panic goes through the ceiling. Quickly, you examine the room for something to save you. The only hope would be if you pull the table in front of the vent to block it off. So you grab the side of the table tight and pull with all your might. It won't budge even if you try your best. A moment of silence passes before a voice speaks.

"What are you doing?"

You sharply gasp as you turn around to look who the voice belongs to. 

The blue eyes peer out of the vent to Ballora's room.

"O-Oh n-nothing", you mumble out as you press against the table. The creature's white arm shoots out of the vent to pull itself out of it. A pink snout can be seen and then a head. It's Funtime Freddy who forced himself into the metallic vent and ended up in the room with you. The bear stands up and brushes the dust off his also pink belly. Bonbon waves at you a bit before Freddy steps closer to you without saying anything. He stretches his arm out to grab you, but you avoid his grasp by dodging it. You crawl on top of the table and accidently kick your backpack down. Funtime's eyes are locked onto you as he gets dangerously close. You curl up on the desk and wait for your death. But when Freddy puts his foots down, he hears a crunching noise and stops dead in his tracks. He lifts it up to see what he stepped on. A bag of chips lays on the ground. He blinks.

"What is..?" Freddy mutters to himself as he picks it up and studies it with his eyes.

"Chips.", you say.

"C~Chips... what are chips?" His faceplates shift as he ask. Totally overwhelmed that this robot never heard of chips you raise an eyebrow in question.

" Well it’s something to eat!" The bear’s eyes light up like christmas lights. The bunny squeals in excitement.

" We only have pizza down here!"

"And cupcakes, ice cream and cake!", the bear adds. "Can we try them, plleeeeeeaaase?", Freddy pleads while making big eyes to convince you. "O-of course..!" Forcing a smile on your lips as you say it. 

The animatronic hands you the bag of chips and sits down on the table, making it squeak. Surprisingly it doesn’t break down by his weight. The smell of the potato chips hits you as you open the bag. Freddy curiously tilts his head to the side like a puppy and you shake the bag to encourage him to grab some. The bear slightly peeks inside before he decides to grab a chip. He studies it closely, viewing it from every angle before taking a bite. The fresh chip crunches while he chews on it. Freddy's eyes grow big.

"Oh my gosh...THAT I~IS AMAZING!!" He immediately takes a handful more and shoves the chips in his mouth.

" I want some too!" Bonbon shouts in excitement, clapping his hands. You smile slightly as you lean the bag towards him. The small bunny slips inside the bag to get some of the new found salty goodness. He struggles a bit before he gets some of the chips and tries them too. It is kinda cute how that small bunny tries to shove a whole chip in his tiny mouth while Freddy stuffs his face with handful of chips. As well as Freddy, Bonbon enjoyed the taste of the junk food.

"They are really good! I want more!" You decide to give them the whole bag and watch them eat. It doesn’t take them too long to finish it off.

"You guys want to try more stuff?" You ask. Both of them nod quickly as Freddy licks his fingers. You jump off the table and grab your bag to pull out the goodies you got for them. A chocolate bar, some cheese balls, Oreos and other fat-making snacks. The animatronics get really excited as they see the new and colorful packages. It is weird how Freddy can be creepy in one moment and in the other a super sweet teddy bear. The bear grabs the chocolate bar.

"What is that?"

"Chocolate!" You answer. " Humans love to eat chocolate!" He hands you the bar which you open quickly. You want to see how they react to that so you give both of them a whole row of the chocolate bar. All three of you take a bite. You close your eyes and enjoy the taste of the chocolate that melts in your mouth. 

All of a sudden you hear a strange sound. You open your eyes to see where its coming from. A slight blush creeps over your cheeks as you realize it is Freddy who started to purr.

His eyes are closed while being completely relaxed. He is also swinging his legs back and forth in the air. You watch him quietly for a while. He looks so peaceful right now. Even a bit adorable. Bonbon chews quickly on his piece of chocolate like a real bunny and notices your stare. He immediately pokes Freddy's cheek to make him aware too. His cheeks turn bright red when he notices you.

"Well, (y/n), we have something for you too!" The bunny chuckles.

"Y-Yeah we have…” Freddy adds while mumbling under his breath. He extends his shaky hand to you and accepts the fact that he is still blushing like crazy. His embarrassed face makes you smile slightly as you take the offer and put your hand in his. His fingers gently close around your hand as he stands up. He leads you to the vent where he came from.

You crawl in first and Freddy directly after you. You wonder how Freddy can even fit through the vent if you already have problems with it. Finally, you enter Ballora's gallery and stretch out your body. The bear struggles out of the vent and quickly stands up. You feel how his hand grabs yours gently and pulls you behind him as he enters the abyssal room. 

The only thing you can see are some dim lights far away. The familiar tune from yesterday. Funtime Freddy stopped.

"Oh h~hello Ballora!" The music stops as the female animatronic speaks up.

"Oh, hello Freddy. I didn't hear you coming..." Two eyes light up in front of Freddy.

 "[y/n], it's nice to see you too today. I am glad you came back...!" You can’t say much but wave slightly at her. You are still creeped out by this place. Alot. 

"I have to go now Ballora! I need to show [y/n] a surprise!", mentions the bear before he walks past Ballora, with you behind him. You both finally reach the breaker room. With the creaking of the door, he drags you into the room. The, oh, so familiar place with the wires where you first met the crazy bear. But there is something different this time. You immediately notice a big, white box on the floor in front of you, adorned with a red ribbon. It’s a present! 

"TADAAA~!", Bonbon squeals out. Freddy finally leaves your hand alone and smiles wider than before. With excitement, nearly singing, he exclaims: "C~Come on, ooooopen it~!!"

 You slowly step forward. Something is really off. A present in the middle of an empty room screams like a trap. Oh gosh, you wish you could run now, but as you look back for a second you realise that he stands directly in front of the door. He would catch you like a goalkeeper would with a ball. Only one option left. You kneel down and slowly remove the carefully wrapped paper around the mysterious box. You hold your breath when the bear steps closer. 

He is right behind you now! 

You begin to shake when the last pieces of paper are removed by your hands. 'Oh god ,what could be in there,' you think. Probably a severed head as far as you could tell! You grab both of the tabs of the box and finally bend them to the side and you find-

"SURPRISE!!", screams the bear right in your ear, which makes you flinch hard and you fall to the side. How could he be so close to your head already? You lay on the floor as you realise you hold something soft against your chest. So you decide to look at your gift. It’s a small white and pink bear with a blue bunny as his right paw. It looks really goofy. 

"Is that you?" You ask in a bit of disbelief. The bear nods proudly.

"They made plushies of the w~whole gang! But they stopped producing them, since the shutdown!" 

"We had to search for a while for the stuffed friend here!" Bonbon adds. You can’t help but smile. At least a bit. You slowly stand up and hug the huge metallic bear.

"Thank you, Freddy and Bonbon! This is so nice from you two!" Freddy has no answer but to hug you as gentle as he can, as well with Bonbon. It is quiet. It feels even peaceful, but something got stuck in your brain that would haunt your mind. 

'What shutdown?' 

Combined with what Baby said yesterday, it made a poisonous mixture of distrust in the back of your head. You break quickly and abruptly from the hug, which confuses the robots. 

"What's wrong?" questions the bunny. You decide that the tiles on the ground are more interesting to look at than Bonbon.

"Nothing." You rub your arm, still focused at the floor. Freddy slowly takes a step towards you, but you reply by turning your whole body away. Freddy sighs and speaks up, more softer, quieter and with a bit of a quiver in his voice.

"You are afraid o~of me. A~Aren't you, [y/n]...?" You can't answer, like your mouth is sewn shut or dried out. But that is a clear answer for Freddy anyway. You turn around to see the bear stumble away from you. His face is hidden in his paw and his back is turned against you. Even Bonbon looks away, but sometimes glances at you with a face of sadness and betrayal. Motivated by guilt, you cautiously make your way to Freddy.

"I-I am s-"

 "G~Go away...", mumbles Freddy with a kinda sobbing voice. Ignoring what he said you get even closer, wanting to comfort him and Bonbon. All of a sudden Freddy swings his arm at you and screams.

"I SAID GO AWAY!!" Barely dodging the fist of doom, you fall to the ground once again. The bear steps over you and looks down at you in your fragile position. The lack of light in the room coats his face in darkness. He looks even more scary from this angle. He speaks up, more energetic and angry.

“WE THOUGHT WE COULD TRUST YOU! I~I THOUGHT I COULD TRUST YOU! BUT YOU DON'T EVEN TRUST ME!" You can’t make out any details in his face, but you know he is really upset. The atmosphere is tense. It pinches your throat as if it doesn’t want you to inhale the cold and dry air. Suddenly you feel something wet and warm on your knee, like a warm raindrop. Yet another one and another. Is Freddy... crying? The tall shadow starts to break down onto the ground with a big thud. He arches his back, crying out loud and tries to hide his tear filled face, curling up in a ball while he sits on his legs. You can't help but to tear up too. But if you don’t go now, he might do something horrible to you, even though you feel bad for him. Therefore, you get up quickly, run to the door and slip through the crack that is still open.

 As you run through the darkness, you hear the bear cry out a scream of pain. The whole facility could hear the agony. It just made you run faster, getting away from a possible killer bear and the guilt you carry around with you now. With one go you slip through the vent and start to close off every connection that might involve a room with an animatronic. His screams and cries don't stop in the meantime, they become more died down and spaced out, but still consistent. You pack your bag as quick as you can and swing it onto your back, when a slam on the glas scared the hell out of you. On the left side you see Foxy slamming against the window.

"What did you do to our friend?!", speaks the pissed off fox and hits even harder against the glass with his manicured hand. Ballora joins him on the other side and speaks with a soft, yet threatening voice.

"Why did you hurt him? We aren't what you think!" You finally get out of the shock and bolt to the elevator. You spam the button, hoping that it will get there faster, even if that means you break your finger by doing so. Finally the elevator comes down and opens its two rusty doors for you. You take your chance and get in just in the right time. Some glass shatters before the doors close completely and send you upwards. You try to calm down now. The cold sweat drips down your nose and it even covers your back.

The HandUnit snaps up on your way up to freedom. 

"You’ve finally done it...", a calm female voice exclaims.

"You are not better than the others. We thought we could trust you. You were the one. The one that saves us. And yet, you betrayed us and broke our hearts. Please, never come back to this place or we will make sure that you will not get out again..." With that the doors open to the outside world. Quickly, you run outside and inhale the fresh and cold air. The urge to cry is getting stronger, so you give in to it and let it all out. You sprint to your bike and unlock it with shaking hands. You don't know if they can get out and chase you down. You don't want to risk it. The face of yours is covered in snot and tears as you finally sit on your bike and pedal your way home. It is 2:54 o'clock in the morning as you finally get into your room. You jump onto your bed and cry your eyes out until you can't stay awake anymore.

 The next day you wake up harshly by the ringtone of your phone. You wonder who is calling? You look at the time first: 7 am sharp.

"Hello...?" you ask with a raspy and dying voice.

 "WHAT DID YOU DO TO THE LOCATION?!" Oh snap! It is your boss! The screaming wakes you even further up.

 "What happened..?" You ask, kinda scared. 

"YOU SHOULD KNOW THAT! EVERYTHING IS BROKEN! THE WINDOWS IN THE CONTROL MODULE! AND I DON'T WANT TO TALK ABOUT THE BREAKER ROOM! HOW DID YOU MANAGE TO BREAK EVERYTHING IN THERE AND EVEN DAMAGE THE ANIMATRONIC?!"

You have no words. Did Freddy get into a rampage? 

"THEREFORE I WILL FIRE YOU AND YOU WILL NOT RECEIVE YOUR PAYCHECK EITHER! BE HAPPY I WILL NOT SUE YOU!" With that the manager called off. You are too exhausted to be upset about it. Closing your eyes, you think about those two nights. The encounter and what happened afterwards. You think about the animatronics. Foxy. Ballora. Circus Baby... Freddy... 

"Oh gosh, I am such an idiot..." You speak to yourself as you slap your forehead with your bare palm. 

After two hours of self loathing, you decide to go downstairs and eat breakfast. Your slow and heavy steps alert the other family members.

"Good morning, sweetheart!", chirps your mum as she notices your being. Her face turns worried as she realise your red and puffy face. It kinda looks like it got attacked by a swarm of bees, so much did you cry yesterday. Your hair made it even look worse! You notice her concern and reply immediately.

"I am okay...!"

"What's the truth, sweety?" She doesn’t believe a word you stammer out. You guess it’s a mom intuition. But you don't want to tell her the whole story that happened. You would probably sound crazy. 

"I got fired yesterday," you mutter. Your mom gasps a bit.

"Oh I am sorry to hear..." It gets quiet around the table as the both of you said nothing. 

From this day on you are looking for jobs. Everyday from now you always get declined, it was like a curse! Days and weeks pass...but ...you can't stop thinking about him. 

Funtime Freddy. 

At evening you lay in your bed, frowning after you got a message saying that you got declined once again. Putting your phone aside, you stare at the ceiling and your mind goes everywhere. It stops by a certain point, once more, on Freddy. Your cheeks warm up by the thought of the robot. Oh, how you wish he would be there for you. 

'What am I thinking??' You snap at yourself.

‘Have I gone insane and have Stockholm syndrome on top of that?' But you can't deny that you caught some feelings for him. 

You wonder if he is okay.

[visit-ba-sing-se]

I recently saw a post by someone asking for a fanfiction in which Azula snapped a bit earlier after things turning out different on the day of Sozin`s comet...and I guess you could say I kind of snapped as well? (it starts after the events at the boiling rock, btw: this (+ more) is also on my ao3 now!

„I love Zuko more than I fear you.“ For a moment, I was struck. Unable to respond, to even process the words. I heard them, but they did not make sense. Then, suddenly everything fell into place. „No, you miscalculated. You should have feared me more.“ I sounded affected. I was affected. That’s weak, Azula. I saw May pulling out a knife and raised my hand the same time, ready to strike. She would not stand a chance. Not even the avatar had been able to take on my lightning. May wasn’t stupid. Of course she knew that. And when I looked her in the eyes I knew that she knew I knew. Suddenly, a part of did not want to throw any lightning at all. A part of me wanted to lower her hand and just let the knife hit her. Or tell may that we would not have to do this. That’s weak, Azula. I heard my fathers voice in my head again, this time with even more disgust. And do I have a weak daughter? Suddenly, I did not see May anymore. Just him, looking down and me, disappointed. There was nothing I would do to escape that look. I took a deep breath, ready to strike for real now. But before I could, I felt a sudden punch into my side. Then another. And before I knew it, I was lying on the ground, unable to move, Ty Lee and May standing above me. Again, it took a moment until my mind had pieced together what just had happened. Ty Lee had betrayed me as well.  May had chosen Zuko over me, and Ty Lee had chosen May over me.

My oldest friends from childhood. The girls I had grown up with. For a moment, they seemed frozen as well. Until Ty Lee broke the silence. Not because she had anything else left to tell me. Just to tell May to get away. Which was useless, of course. There were guards, all around, and they had just attacked their princess. Two quickly came to help me up.

„Your both fools.“ I wanted to sound like I did not care. Like I did not feel like the actual fool in this was me. What had I been expecting from this anyway?  I had had to set a fire in the circus Ty Lee was traveling with in order to get her to join me. And the way May had flung herself at Zuko since the day he had returned should have told me more than clearly where her loyalty lied. Where her loyalty had been lying all the time. With my oh so loveable brother. So when it was time to chose, the choice was clear. Just like for mom. Just like for uncle. Who would ever chose me? Who would ever take my hand if I would not be holding a knife in the other? Shut It down, Azula. You don’t need them. Friends are for people who are too weak to have servants. I took a deep breath in. Yes, I had made a mistake. I taken risks, and even worse, forgotten those risks existed. But I could make sure that would never happen again. And when one of the guards asked what to do next, I had my answer ready.

„Lock up them somewhere were I won’t have to see there faces ever again.“ My voice sounded firm again. A good sound. As I continued, I looked May straight in the eye. She had wanted fear? She could get it. „And let them rot.“

After they had been brought away, I saw the warden walking up to me. A pathetic excuse of a man, who had believed that the little power he possessed somehow made him greater than those around him. Just a big fish in a small pond who believed himself to be a shark. If he had done his job properly, none of this would have happened. I knew that this wasn’t the full truth, but definetly part of it. And I wanted him to know. When he started uttering something between an apology, an explanation and monologue of self pity, I therefore shut him down immediately. „I am sorry, but where you talking to me? Because all I hear is the sound of failure. Which is quite pathetic, honestly“  You should have feared me more, I had told May. Now I would give them a reason too. „Your actions lead to the escape of dangerous war criminals, not to mention a threat to my life. It was pure look your niece didn`t cut my throat.“ I paused, just to enjoy the sight of him twisting his hands in the desperate search for words. How many times had he been the one who made prisoners feel the way he felt now? The thought of this irony truly had something validating to it. „This not only gives you a record of failing at your job. This makes you man who endangered the fire nation and a member of its royal family. And that-“ I allowed myself one more dramatic break, „that is treason. And a man of your education should know what the penalty for treason is.“

He did not even have it in himself to give me an answer. Instead, he sunk down on his knees. I knew I could just kill him right away. One struck of lightning and he would be gone. Or make one of the guards do it. Just because I really started to enjoy this whole irony theme. But that would not be as effective as what I had in mind.

„But you are a lucky man warden,“ I said therefore. „A man should not have to die in the shame of his mistakes.“ Relieve started to build on his face, just to crumble again when I announced:

„So I am giving you away to restore your honor. Agni Kai.“

I felt good. I was in control again. I saw the way they all were looking at me, with fear and admiration balancing in their eyes. The way I deserved to be looked at. The way a future firelord deserved to be looked at.

The warden finally seemed to have found his voice again. „Excuse me princess, what do you mean? You can’t possibly mean….you can’t seriously want…“

„Don`t tell me what I can. In fact, you should be thanking me for this chance to prove yourself. Or are not even man enough to accept this challenge? Can you only duel someone when they are in chains?“

„No, of course not! I can fight! But princess, I could never fight you!“ Though his protest did have something entertaining to it, I decided that it was time to finally get to the point.

„I am afraid you will have too. 5 minutes. Then it is on.“

Just enough time to up up my hair again properly. A few streaks had fallen out, and that was nothing I could use while fighting.

The fight that followed wasn’t even worth the name. A turtle duck would have been a better opponent. Those things at least had shells. But surely it had served his cause. The people here now surely were reminded of where their loyalty had to lie. And who they had to admire. Time to return to the palace. Only that that was not possible. At least not directly, as I had to realize when we came to the spot where my ballon was supposed to be. Zuko. He and his gang of war prisoners must have used it to escape. This was bad. Sure, we could sent for another one. But questions would be asked. I usually never to father about the missions I went on, just in case. If they were successful, he did not ask further questions. If they weren’t, he would never have to know. But know he woudl. I would have to explain what happened. I would have to explain what happened to father. That Zuko got way because I let him. Just when I had thought things were back in control, it all came crumbling down again. Zuko, that idiot. A guard was along to me, but his words did not really get through. They were probably useless anyway. How was it even possible that Zuko had out played me ? He was Zuko, after all. Weak. A quitter. A runaway. He did not outplay you. You outplayed yourself by letting your emotions get in the way of your judgment.

„Princess, princess, are you even listening?“ That annoying guard still had something to say apparently.

„Oh shut it, will you?“ I screamed. „The next words I want to hear from you are `Princess Azula, your ballon has arrived.`if you dare to tell me anything else before that, I swear that the next person you can things to is someone from the spirit world.“ The guard opened his mouth, his eyes wide open, and then closed it again quickly. He nodded so fast and strong that his teeth were clicking together. Also not the most pleasing sound. I snapped my fingers and let a spark fly for emphasis. „And now get of my view.“ Silence, finally. Just the waves crashing against the shore. Waves above which somewhere my brother was flying with his new friends. This was all wrong. I should be on my way home, with him as prisoner. Eager to tell father of my success. And now instead, I would return a failure and did not know how I would be able to face him. He would be disappointed, that was for sure. This had been our once chance at catching Zuko, and I had blown it. Blown it because I had not had  my  own people under control. Still, he had to hear it from me. Every other scenario was even worse, I knew that.

Back at the place, I therefore sent for a servant and asked for a hearing directly. Luckily, it was granted to me soon. At least that was something. Fighting the argue to run back into the direction I had just come from, I made my way to the throne room, entered the heavy door and got close enough to my father to talk to him. There I knelt down.

„Azula, my daughter. What brings you here?“ His voice sounded so friendly. I felt my eyes water. Even though I knew that crying would be the worst thing possible to do. Instead, I therefore tried to sum up the events as well as possible, walking the small line between apology and not admitting failure. A silence followed, only interrupted by the beat of my heart. Father always took  time before he reached a verdict.

„It is unfortunate your brother got away. Especially since this could have been prevented so easily. Did I not teach you to never trust others?“ I nodded. He did. I would not know of any person he had ever trusted with anything. He even cut his own hair because any hairdresser could potentially want him harm. „But you did the right thing to challenge the warden. It gave proof that we will not tolerant weakness. And to not worry, the day of our triumph will come soon“

I did not know how to react. There were many things I had expected, possibilities that I had played out in my head.  This definitely had not been one of them.

All I could so was stutter.„You are not…angry with me?“

„No Azula. Now is not the time get upset about small mistakes. What counts now is the bigger picture. Our plans for the return of the comet.“

„So you don’t think I am just like Zuko now?“ I still did not trust this. What reason did he have to be so kind, so forgiving in face of my failure?

„Azula, of course not. I always knew you were stronger than your brother.“

„Yes father, Thank you.“

„You will be my heir one day. A worthy one.“

I still faced the ground. I knew I was supposed to feel relieved. This was a kinder response than anything I ever could have hoped for. But then I understood. He was showing mercy because I he had no more child left to loose. He needed my because he needed legacy. Someone to pass his empire onto. Someone to pass his empire onto who was not Zuko.

And suddenly I could not help but wonder „If I am stronger, then why am I the one on my knees?“

Later this night, I had trouble finding sleep. When I finally did, I dreamed of the Angi Kai between father and Zuko. Only that it was not down there, but me. And no matter what I did, I wasn’t able to produce any lighting. Or even fire. The audience cheered and applauded my failure. Some even started laughing. I could see Ty Lee and May pointing fingers and whispering. It must have been a long time since they had been this happy. DO I HAVE A WEAK DAUGHTER? My father entered the picture, a dark shadow towering above everything. DO I HAVE A CHILD THAT IS NOT EVEN ABLE TO BEND? Where was my fire? Why couldn’t I reach it? I KNOW YOU ARE NOT TRYING HARD ENOUGH. „But I am trying!“, I protest. I was trying so hard. I always was. YOU ARE LYING. IF YOU REALLY TRIED, YOU WOULD SUCCEED. But I didn’t. No flames, no matter what I did. And then I felt a sudden heat in my face and knew it was burning. I was burning. I screamed from pain and frustration, and then suddenly I was in my bed again, sitting up straight, shivering and sweating at the same time. I raised my hand and produced a small flame. Good. So my at least my fire was still there. Looking at it flicker helped my calm down a bit. It was like a pathway back to reality. Of course, there were times where I wondered what I would have done. Most of the time, I was convinced that I would never even have gotten into this situation. I would have know when to be quiet. Like I had always know what to do. I knew mom and uncle used to feel sorry for Zuko because of the way dad hat treated him. But that wasn`t really fair. If he had put in a bit more effort, he could have been like me. I worked every day of my life to get where I was now. Only- where exactly was I? I liked to think that was strong and powerful. But if I was, why did I have to kneel in fron of father with tears in his eyes? Why was I always at his mercy, no matter what I did ? Having to beg for admiration? What would be left of my life if he would not be there? What would be left of me? In a way, when Zuko talked back to father he had done something I never would have been able to do. But how could that be? I was the strong one. All he did was run. That was weak. But it was still more than I ever was capable of. I tried to dismiss the thought. It was nothing I even wanted to be capable of. Why would I? I had all reason to stay here. Here, where I would triumph over the avatar together with dad. Here, where I would one day be crowned next firelord. That was everything I wanted. „That is everything I want.“, I exclaimed to the flame that was still hovering over my hand.

The next days passed quickly in preparation of the day of the comet. I trained harder and longer than ever before, and I had one of the medics in the palace fix me a drink to help me sleep. I told myself that it was because I would need the energy. Not because I was scared of any dreams. I felt ready. I would finally prove myself once and for all.

But then, everything came different. I heard of it before it was official, once more happy about my ears all around the place. Someone had seen Zuko and that water girl trying to sneak up on the palace. Typical for him that he had not been able to remain unseen. Not typical for him that he seriously had been wanting to come here to fight. From what I heard, they had not been able to capture him yet. For a short moment I even felt something like respect. A really short  moment, of course. But before I even had time to analyze what this meant, I heard a knock on my door. To my greatest surprise, it was father. I could not recall any time he had ever come here himself instead of sending a servant.

„Azula,“ he said while doing something that came strangely close to smiling. „My wonderful daughter. I am sure you have heard the news.“

I nodded, overwhelmed. „Yes. Zuko is coming.“

„Zuko is about to be caught by our guard.“ The way he pronounced my brother name was dripping from disgust, his face turning into a twisted mask of hatred. “And I want him gone before I set for the earth kingdom, and he will be brought here as soon as possible.“

„But“ I blurted out, „Is the earth kingdom not more important? You are just wasting time on him.“ I knew it was a mistake, but I just could not hold back. „Azula, get yourself under control again. I decided what is a waste of time and what is not. This will be over soon anyway. Come with me now.“ I lowered my look and my voice. „Coming? To where?“ „To where I will end your brothers pathetic existence once and for all and you will be my witness. The throne room. You have 30 minutes.“ With those word, he left as quickly as he had come. Jut another order from him to me.

I went to the morrow and started fixing my hair, but stress continues to fall out. Not even that could work out. Why was I even trying? I did not want to do this. I did not want to go to the throne room and watch my father execute my brother. I did not want to sit by his side patiently like a trained dog. But then what did I want? I should want this. „I am sure you don`t want to hurt your brother Azula.“ The echo of what my mom had said to me a long time ago suddenly come up in my head, and I believed to see here face behind me in the mirror. She used to say that a lot, when Zuko and I had been fighting, just kids starting to get a hold of their bending. „Well, what do you know? You think I am monster anyway.“ I looked her reflection straight in the eye. „ I know you are confused and hurt. But it does not have to be this way. And I love you, Azula.“

„Liar“ I screamed, punching the mirror. Her image scatter to hundreds of tine pieces, each as sharp as a razor blade. I felt a tear running down my cheek as I saw the scrambled reflection of myself on the floor. Yes, I was hurt. And yes, I did not have to be this way. I picked up one of the fragments. It felt cold and heavy in my hand. Today, a member of tis family would die. But it would not be my brother.

When I arrived at the throne room, punctual and a perfect picture of a fire princess, I found it empty except for dad who had already taken place on the throne. „This is family business, so I decided it would be most fitting if we were to remain amongst each other.“ Now where I looked the way he wanted me to look again, it seemed like I also again was worthy of being spoke to in a normal tone. I nodded and closed the door behind me. „I will end your brother right here, where he had the nerve to disrespect me during the day of the black sun.“ I heard my speak, but the words did not really reach me. My heart was beating out of control. This was my chance. My one moment to strike before the guards would come to bring in Zuko. My hand was twisted around the fragment. „Then, it will only be us, Azula. The only ones truly worthy to lead this nation. The only once who deserve to be part of this family.“ Of course. It was up to him to decided who was worthy and who was not. That was what he was best at. Determining everyone`s worth just how he liked. Determining my worth. But no more. I arrived at the spot I normally would kneel. I lowered my head, but not to bow. But to get a better aim.

The fragment flew through the air, directly into my father’s heart. A quite simple move. May had thaught it to me long time ago, in what now felt like another life. And I had not stopped training until I had brought it to perfection. Deadly perfection. My father had not gotten the chance to scream. Now he looked down on himself in disbelieve. Then at me. And then, with blood running out of his mouth and the light in his eyes already fading, I saw that he understood. „Foolish girl.“ His voice was quiet, his life was ending, and still his words struck me. „Don`t you know you only are because of me? You just killed yourself, too.“ Then, his head fell to side. He was dead.

Was I not supposed to feel free now? Or triumphant? Or just anything at all?  Then why did I just feel nothing at all? Still, now, what next? I knew that I had had a plan. All I had to do was breath and follow t through.  I would get May and Ty Lee, and then we would get out of here.

Foolish. As if anything could ever go back to how it was. Do you think they would even care to look at  you? The voice in my head. Why wasn’t it gone? Father was dead. Why was he still talking to me. „Yes they would,“ I exclaimed loudly. „They are my friends. They love me“ Your friends who betrayed you and tried to get you killed? Doesn’t really sound like much love to me. „Then I will make them love me again!“ I felt despair building up, replacing the emptiness. The same way you’d them love you the first time? With a knife to the throat? People like us are not loved Azula, we are feared. I thought I taught you this. I screamed. Even in death, he still seemed to rule over me. Blue fire streamed out of my palms and set the room on fire. I saw the flames rising. I looked so majestic. My beautiful fire, the only thing that had never betrayed me. My beautiful flames. My loyal friends. A part of me wanted to give myself into the completely. Wanted to stay here and be devoured by their heat. What else was there left for me anyway? Everything was out of control. And I was all alone, except for father and his voice inside my head. Mom. Iroh. Zuko. May. Ty Lee. They had all left me. What difference would my death still make?. Would anybody out there even care? They did not leave Azula. You made them go. And they would care. Because they would be relieved. Dying seemed so easy. Every other breath felt hard. If I would die now, did I really just kill father? Or did father also kill me? Suddenly, I felt a new kind of determination in me „You are not going to take me with you father, you hear that ?“ Tears flooded my cheek just to be vaporized in the heat. „I am leaving this. I am leaving you.“ The flames cracked. It nearly sounded like laughter. Just now I realized how far they had processed already. A blue sea  all around me. A blue sea that was out of control. Smoke already clouded my sight. Now as I finally knew I had to get out, as I had just decided to leave father and this place behind, it would not let me go. I could not even make out the door. Just clouds of smoke and flames. And in them… people? Right in front of me, the scheme of a woman manifested. Others followed, surrounding me. Some seemed to be children, others elders. „We came to take you, Azula.“ They came from everywhere now, constantly getting closer. I tried to bend the fire against them, but the flames left them completely unaffected. This wasn’t real. It could not be. I was hallucinating from the smoke, that was all. One more reason to get out of here. „You can’t escape now, Azula. We have been waiting for you for so long.“ I wanted to cover my ears with my hand, but that meant that I would have to let go of the flames I was still trying to get under control well enough to get out. „Who are you? What do you want from me?“ „Oh Azula, you know us well. Can you not recognize us ?“ The woman who had been leading them reached out for me. I backed away and screamed, even though I could barely even fill my lungs anymore. „No! No I do not know you!“ She reached out again. They were everywhere around me now. The only way to escape her touch was to the ground. „But you should, Azula. They are all those who you killed.“  Suddenly, here face got clear, and she wasn’t a scheme anymore. „And a child should be able to recognize her mother“. It was her. The same kind and beautiful face. The soft voice. But no in the strict tone that always seemed to be reserved for me. It was her nice tone. Her Zuko tone. Even though she was speaking about awful things. But what even did she mean ? I did not kill her. Or did I ? Nothing made sense anymore. I killed my father. Why would not I be capable to kill my own mother as well? „Mom“, I whispered, my voice nothing more than a dying hush. She knelt down and reached out her hand. „Come on child. It is time to go.“ My heart was racing. In my lungs, there was nothing but pain. I wanted to let her take me away, just for all of this to stop. But even more, I just wanted to hold my mothers hand again. So I gathered al strength I still had in me and reached out to her. But just as I was about to touch her fingertips, she suddenly started to fade, just like everything around her. Even the flames seemed to get smaller. And another scheme stepped out of the dust and into my view. „Azula?“, he asked. A familiar voice. Zuko. What was he doing here? I didn’t kill him. Or did I ? I sounded like he was getting closer, but I could not keep my eyes open for long enough to watch him. The darkness felt good, calming. „Azula!“ This time he screamed. It definitely was his voice. Could the dead really scream like that? „Azula! Spirits, Azula, what did you do?“

Yes, what did I do? If only I knew.

[drink-the-midnight-oil]

a serpent in the water

Bughead AU:  Loner Betty and popular Jughead are South Side Serpents. On the day of Serpent initiation, Betty goes to cool off at Sweetwater River, only to encounter an unwelcome surprise.   

Ao3

Serpent initiation. The rite of passage for every girl or boy who wanted to join the infamous Riverdale gang, the South Side Serpents. Betty Cooper eagerly awaited it. All she had ever wanted was the chance to prove herself worthy of the South Side Serpents. Her mom, her aunt, even her grandparents were Serpents. It was a title to be worn with the utmost pride, and Betty craved it. However, the stakes this year were far higher. The Serpents’ leader, FP Jones had decided that only the top participant would be accepted into the Serpents. This was to avoid betrayal after what had happened last time. 

Betty parked her motorcycle on the banks of Sweetwater River. Approaching the water, she pulled off her helmet and shook her blonde curls loose. It was a beautiful day, warm and sunny. She dipped her fingertips in the water, pleased to find it cold. Dropping her helmet on the shore, she stripped down to her black bra and panties and waded into the river. 

Sweetwater River was Betty’s favorite place to go to relax. The spot she always visited was secluded and it was the best part of the river. The water was always the perfect temperature, and bushes grew nearby, ripe with berries. 

She dove down and came back up, pushing her wet hair out of her eyes. The light glittered on the surface of the water like a million twinkling diamonds. Floating on her back, Betty closed her eyes and let the sun warm her face. 

The first round of Serpent initiation was later that evening. The law recitation. Betty had known all the laws by heart ever since she was seven years old. Alice Cooper had made sure of it. Initiation would be harder for Betty than the others. Her father was a North Sider, at least that’s what Alice had told her. He had seduced her mother and impregnated her, running off, never to be seen again. And because of that, for the rest of the South Side, Betty was a stigma. A person with dirty blood.

Betty went through the laws once again in her head.

One, a Serpent never betrays her own. Two, if a Serpent is killed or imprisoned, their family will be taken care of. Three, no Serpent is left for dead. Four, a Serpent never - 

Two large arms wrapped around Betty’s waist and dragged her underwater. Betty tried to scream but quickly shut her mouth, realizing that was stupid. She tried to break free but the arms around her were strong and gripped her tighter. Her back was pressed against a hard chest. Remembering her training, Betty pushed her captor’s hands downward and twisted sideways in his grip, effectively breaking his hold on her. She swam upward as fast she could, her heart hammering in her chest.

She broke the surface of the water, gasping. Turning around just in time, Betty watched as another person came up, laughing and panting. His ebony hair fell in wet strands across his forehead and he pushed it out of his face, still grinning, perfect white teeth on display. His eyes were an impossibly blue color and were complemented by long, dark lashes. A chiseled face with high cheekbones and a strong jawline made him the very image of an Adonis. Realizing who it was, Betty’s eyes narrowed.

Jughead Jones. The Serpent Prince. He was FP’s son, the rightful heir to the Serpent throne. He was known throughout Riverdale for his intimidating demeanor and devilish good looks. Men cowered and women swooned when he walked past. His fame wasn’t because he was the Serpent King’s son, although that played a minute role. Jughead had built his own reputation in town over the years. Brought up a Serpent royal, he had received the best training one could get. Not to mention, he had a way with words that could make anyone believe whatever he said. He could switch from suave to deadly in a matter of seconds, and everybody feared and respected his power. But to Betty, he was the cocky, arrogant asshole she’d known since they were five.

“Jughead, what are you doing here?” Betty asked, annoyed. 

“What? I can’t swim in Sweetwater River? Am I not too a citizen of this fair town?” He smirked at her. 

Betty crossed her arms, unconvinced.

“Okay, fine. I was riding by and I saw your motorcycle parked uphill. I saw you in the water and figured, why not play a little prank? Lighten up the mood a bit, before tonight’s mission. Which, by the way, is in an hour.”

“An hour?!” Betty looked at the sun and saw that it was dipping lower on the horizon. “Shit. FP’s gonna kill me.”

“Ah, don’t worry. It won’t be the first time you were late for something. Besides, that Serpent jacket is going to be on my back by the time this ends.”

“We’ll see about that.” Betty swam for the river bank, Jughead close behind.

“I’m serious, Betty. I don’t want you to cry after you lose terribly.” 

“Says the boy who threw a fit when Sweet Pea won the wrestling tournament.”

“We were TEN. And besides, I could kick Sweet Pea’s ass now.”

Ignoring him, Betty reached the shore and walked to where her clothes lay in the sand. Jughead’s jeans and shirt lay nearby, along with his jacket. Picking up her jeans, she turned around and saw him still in the water, staring at her, an undecipherable look in his eyes. Her wet bra was clinging to her and it was just enough to see the shape and suggestion of her breasts. Also, she was half-naked. Smiling mischievously, Betty jut out a hip.

“Like what you see, Jones?”

Jughead blinked and seemed to see Betty’s cocked eyebrow. He grinned at her.

“Cooper, after all the women’s bodies I’ve seen, yours doesn’t faze me at all.” He walked out of the water, and Betty rolled her eyes.

It wasn’t that he wasn’t good looking. He was gorgeous. Like so many of the other Serpent men, he was built for a fight. Strong shoulders and well-defined arms, a toned stomach. He was tan from working out in the sun. But while the other men were beefy and muscular, Jughead had a more athletic and well-built physique. His boxers were riding dangerously low on his hips, his sharp V-lines, glistening in the sunset. It took some effort to look away from him, and that’s what pissed Betty off. 

“When are you going to realize that your dashing looks aren’t going to affect me?” she said, trying to hide her flushed cheeks.

“Oh, Betty. Don’t try to deny it,” he winked at her as he pulled on his own jeans. 

“As if I would care how you look,” she scoffed, even more flustered. She hate that he did that to her. She didn’t even like him. He was a narcissistic tool, a product of nepotism, albeit his natural talent. It made her burn with both jealousy and awe. And the fact that he was, not that she’d ever openly admit, handsome, just rubbed salt into the wound.

Jughead just chuckled and shook his head slightly as he buttoned up his jeans.

They finished getting dressed and Betty grabbed her helmet. Walking to the place where she’d parked her motorcycle, she saw a similar bike parked next to hers, but with an Ouroboros drawn on its side. The insignia of the Jones family as the head of the Serpents. It served as a reminder of who the boss was, and to respect and obey them. 

“What are you staring at?” Jughead asked as he walked up to the bike, taking his helmet from where it rested on the seat.

“Oh, nothing,” Betty put on her helmet and got on her bike. The only good thing about Jughead, if she had to pick something, was that he never used his position to impose himself on others. In fact, he acted as if he didn’t care for the title of Serpent prince at all.

“Race you to the Wyrm?” Jughead asked her, as he started his bike.

Betty grinned. “You’re on.”

~~~

I’d written this just for fun a few years ago because I liked the scenario. I’d originally planned to turn it into a series because I liked the story concept but I never got around to it. I was going through my drafts and found this, and it put a smile on my face. While I don’t plan on continuing it, I thought I’d post it as a drabble. Hope you liked it!

rhea

[coinofstone]

5x12 The Diamond of the Day pt 1

Final two episodes! Big finale! Why am I making myself cry in the middle of the afternoon! Both eps in this post.

I do love that they made Arthur a sore loser

Enter treacherous white woman #2. Srsly it was lazy writing when they did it for Mordred, it's worse now with Gwaine.

I do love the actual Round Table war room discussion but a) why isn't Merlin seated at the round table and b) why does Leon have so much goddamn faith in Camelot's walls? Like??? You literally said the same thing last year and yet Camelot *did* fall when Agravaine brought an army through the tunnels!

Poor Aithusa. Kid's had a rough life.

I do love Arthur responding to Merlin presenting him with all his supplies ready - which he prepared without his magic mind you - with suspicion 😂

But then he calls Merlin a coward and it's sad

Katie has such a great voice. That entire thing in the cave from her taunting to her laughter to the spell, it just just beautifully played.

Whole ass battle to prepare for and Arthur is just walking around moping cuz Merlin isn't there

So, Merlin's father-vision telling him he's magic itself and he just needs to believe in himself to get his magic going again, does this mean he *didn't* need to go to the cave to get it back? Cuz it seems like he needed to recharge in the cave itself, his injuries were healed when he woke up. That seems like magic cave stuff to me.

Also that "always have been and always will be" - I'm taking to mean 'always have been' in the sense that since he's 'magic itself' even before he was born, his magic existed in other, intangible forms, like we are all stardust etc. But now that he is, he will always be, aka he will not die.

Arthur waking up with his wife in his arms and Merlin's name on his lips, jumping out of bed to act on dream-info.

Balinor telling Merlin to trust in what will be.... like bitch that is literally not how this ends.

5x13 The Diamond of the day pt 2

You know that gif of the cat knocking everything off the table? That's literally Merlin shooting lightning at everyone from his perch on the ridge.

I have a lot of snarky things to say about Merlin coming out of the cave in full Dragoon gear and riding a horse instead of teleporting like the other witches but I'ma keep that to myself.

Mordred is a bitch and Aithusa has terrible aim. At least Aithusa's loyalty to Morgana makes sense.

Arthur said oh shit I'm magic - oh wait no it's that old man again

He also straight up "No! Bad dragon!"-ed Aithusa

Y'know, for all I've watched this episode and screamed about Arthur's death, I don't think I've ever focused on the exact moment he gets stabbed before.

Mordred catches him from behind and he meets it, no fault there. But as soon as he realizes his assailant is the knight who turned on him and joined Morgana, what does he do? HE LOWERS HIS FUCKING SWORD

He leaves himself wide fucking open and vulnerable and Mordred seizes the opportunity. I understand wanting the moment of recognition for Arthur, but on what planet is a trained warrior going to drop his sword mid-attack because he recognizes his attacker as a dude who only just recently decided to forsake him? It's soooooo dumb

There was a whole sequence a few episodes back where Mordred and Arthur are sparring, the point of it was to show that Mordred has become a skilled swordsman. So what exactly was the point in having Mordred run Arthur through as soon as Arthur idiotically lets his guard down? This should've been a meticulously choreographed sword fight, with Mordred getting the upper hand and sticking Arthur properly. Not this nonsense. Look at Arthur's FACE! Oh, Mordred... 👉👈 do you maybe wanna be friends again- STAB ... guess not

Uther's been rolling in his grave but he's taking an extra tumble watching Arthur forget all his skills and training in that moment.

I do appreciate Arthur getting Mordred back though. Like that moment of merciless anger followed by the hurt and regret playing on Arthur's face, warring with surety and responsibility. It was good.

I've rewatched the big confession scene about 16 times just now.

I don't quite understand why Merlin took Arthur to the woods to begin with. Instead of bringing him to the med tent in the battlefield or back to Camelot. What was the reason?

Merlin saying it feels strange (to use magic freely in front of Arthur) and him just going 'yeah' completely deadpan makes me laugh every time.

I really feel like Arthur's head should be elevated at a further incline if he's going to be fed.

Gaius refusing to outright expose Merlin as the sorcerer but nonetheless letting Gwen figure it out on her own warms my heart.

My God Arthur is sitting there dying, feeling betrayed about his best friend 'lying' to him, and still he can't stop himself from looking at Merlin's mouth.

Percival summoned MUSCLE POWER

Hey um random but why does Gwaine even know where Merlin and Arthur are headed? Why would Gaius tell him?

Arthur looks at Merlin so lovingly after he's killed Morgana 😭😭

And now he's literally grabbing at the man's hand 😭 "just hold me, please"

That's gotta be the gayest death scene in television history. If you can watch that without thinking Arthur puts his hand on the back of Merlin's head because some part of him wants to bring him down for a kiss, or that "just hold me, please" is in any way shape or form a 'bros' thing, and certainly not at all an intentional mirror/callback to Isolde dying in Tristan's arms, then I'm afraid you are what we professionals refer to as a dumb-as-nails fucknugget, more commonly phrased as 'willfully ignorant'.

"All that you have dreamt of building has come to pass" yeah except for the whole, y'know, magic still being illegal thing.

I've said this before, but, while I'm sure there was a determined intention to have Arthur die in his armor, probably in some kind of attempt to make sure the audience knows he's died a warrior's death, I *really* think it was kinda stupid that Merlin never removed it, despite Arthur being weak, despite the fact that there was something like five days between him getting stabbed and him actually dying, despite that for the duration of that time they were traveling or hiding out. Merlin managed to produce a cloak to put on Arthur, why did he need the full armor on that whole time? Like even if they left the chainmail on, those plates on his shoulder were just getting in the way, and it looked quite uncomfortable.

Also not for nothing but Lancelot got like, every flower in the forest surrounding lush verdant greens in his death boat, Arthur gets a bunch of sticks.

It suddenly occurs to me, watching this now, that the reason Leon/Percival is such a common side pairing in Merthur fics, is because these two motherfuckers are the only original Knights of the Round Table to survive the series. 🤦‍♀️ I dunno how I failed to notice that before now. My stupidity amazes me.

I'm *really* glad they decided to do this scene with Gwen wearing the Pendragon red dress instead of the black mourning dress. Yes she looks fabulous in it but it's more the symbolism than the 'reality' - with Gwen wearing her house's colors it represents a continuation rather than a finality. Camelot will go on, Gwen will undoubtedly end the war on magic and with Morgana dead (and frankly, I think by now she already brought about the death of all the angry incel type rulers in Albion) there stands to reason her reign will begin with a period of peace, possibly longer than Arthur's. We kind of have to assume that the 'time the poets speak of' is, inevitably, Gwen's reign - which only came about through Arthur's death. It's a little bit toooo subtle in my opinion, but at the same time, I understand the need for the focus on Merlin and Arthur - after all, this show was their journey - not leaving much time to focus on Gwen and Camelot in the aftermath of Arthur's death.

I will just say, the first time I watched this that fucking truck scared the ever living shit out of me. I also just immediately, viscerally hated that scene and declared it invalid - but I think it was because the truck made me jump out of my skin. It has since grown on me, particularly once I started reading 'Arthur Returns' fic.

Everything beyond this point is post-series spec and headcanon, so if that's not your jam you can exit safe in the knowledge that as usual, if there's anything worth commenting on in the S5 extras, I will create a separate post!

For those interested, my go-to post-series fic is We Begin Again by katherynefromphilly I fully headcanon this series as the continuation of the series.

I have a lot of thoughts about Gwen and Merlin post-Camlann.

For one, poor fucking Gwen. She's lost her father, her brother, and her husband, all by what, age 30? That's rough. And who knows what happened to her mom, that was pre-series and I don't think it was ever mentioned.

Merlin, dear god poor Merlin. First of all, I just wanna say straight off that my instinctive headcanon about Merlin was that he never returned to Camelot. I couldn't really say why exactly. I just don't think he could stand being there after Arthur's death. But practically speaking, Merlin's still got Aithusa to deal with, that dragon needs some godsdamned house training asap. He's still the last Dragonlord, it's reasonable to assume he'd immediately take that on considering Aithusa is partially responsible for Arthur's death (the sword Mordred killed Arthur with, only succeeded in killing Arthur because it had been forged in Aithusa's fire-breath) so he's either going to attempt to train the bad behaviors out of Aithusa, or...well...

The only thing is, I do not believe Merlin would abandon Gwen, or Gaius. So my hc is inherently flawed. I do think Merlin probably spend a couple months with his mum, and I do think he ultimately settled near lake Avalon waiting for Arthur's return.

But I do wonder, what must their relationship have been like? Gwen, surely, would've sought his guidance in establishing laws governing the use of magic. And surely, peace cannot last indefinitely, so Merlin absolutely would've defended Camelot and protected Gwen. There's just no way he could've completely turned his back on them, but I doubt he could bear living in Camelot. And Gwen is both strong and practical enough to get on without him there 24/7, even though I'm sure she'd miss him.

I also think she would've found love again. Whether with Leon, as many people hc, or someone else not in the series.

ANYWAY.

Thanks to everyone who came on this journey with me. I will post comments on the extras if I have anything worth saying - and I think I'll do a master post linking all these episode posts after I clean them up once I get time to sit at a computer and do so. Until then! 💙💚

(Gif source) (h/t @shut-up-merlin)

[marmolady]

Livita: Part Three

Book/Series: Endless Summer

Main Pairings: Estela x MC/Taylor (f)

Summary: Post-ending. Freed from Vaanu, Taylor has been building a life with her soulmate… but their family remains not quite complete. Read PART ONE and PART TWO.

Word Count: 3551

Reviews and reblogs are hugely appreciated!

Tagging: @sceptilemasterr​ @saivilo​ @greengroove​ 

La Huerta, June 2023

  The pair returned to La Huerta with a couple of months spare to get ready for their new addition, and come the fourth Catalyst reunion –the very first day-- it was time.

Her waters having broken in the middle of the anniversary party, Estela had quickly been swooped upon by an attentive Michelle, who’d determined it was high time they took the proceedings back to their own home where there was a little more comfort and privacy. Taylor lovingly tended to her wife, cleaning her off and helping her into the back of the car that would ferry them along the track between The Celestial and the hut in Catalyst Village.

“Taylor,” Estela took her wife’s shaking hand in her own. “You don’t have to be so nervous. It’s not like you’re the one who’s gonna be doing all the work.”

“Hey, this is likely to be the most important day of both of our lives. I’m allowed to have a few jitters, okay?”

Taylor caught Estela’s eye and grinned like an idiot. This is actually, finally happening. The smile faltered just a little as she felt Estela’s body stiffen beside her; another contraction. That there was only so much she could do was difficult; all their battles were fought together, as equal partners, and to essentially be a bystander was a role Taylor wasn’t sure she suited.

As she helped Estela up to their bed, Taylor was left with the distinct impression that she was being humoured; the fussing really wasn’t necessary, but the care behind the gesture appreciated. Maybe that was what was most needed after all… just that support that didn’t even need to be spoken. She had to hope so, because there was really little else she could offer.

“You’ve got this, ‘Stel,” she murmured as she kissed her wife’s temple.

“Querida, we’ve got this. Just stay with me, okay?”

“Always.”

Estela approached childbirth in much the same manner that she did most of life’s challenges; just getting on with it. She was no stranger to pain, and refused to be daunted, breathing through contractions with minimal grumbling. Taylor sat upon the bed beside her, offering massages and holding her hand through the worst of the contractions, all the while enjoying a rare opportunity to catch up properly with Michelle, who’d offered herself as midwife.

“First delivery you’re assisting in, hey? That’ll be one for the photo albums.”

Michelle chuckled. “Yes, I’m sure Estela would appreciate those photos going up on the wall. I’d be surprised if this won’t be my only midwife appointment. This isn’t exactly my field.”

Catching her breath after another contraction, Estela nodded. “Thank you for preserving my dignity. And… this. After everything…,” She had to physically shake off the memories… memories of one of the most torturous periods of her life. That kind of fear would only cripple her now. “There’s no one I’d trust more to help us through this.”

“Brain surgery will still be waiting for me once I’ve put that baby in your arms.”

Every now and then, a text message would come through from someone or another, asking for a progress report, and in return receiving an update on the annual anniversary party. Naturally, bets were being made all over the place… the sex of the baby… the time of arrival… whether or not it came out brandishing a weapon…. The attention from the rest of the Catalysts was welcome, breaking up the monotony otherwise punctuated by Estela quietly huffing through contractions.

“I don’t know how you’re so calm….” Michelle was saying.

“You know the thing with ducks?” Estela asked. “Perfectly calm and composed on the surface, but below the water, the legs are frantically paddling? I’m pretty sure that’s me right now.”

“Well, your impression of ‘not freaking out’ is convincing. But it’s good. Obviously, these things tend to be drawn out; you need to pace yourself, emotionally.”

“Right now it’s just… pain. Pain doesn’t worry me. I’ve done pain; I know I can survive it. But what comes later; that’s what’s scary. Nene has to go through a lot to get here… and there’s only so much I can control.”

Again, Taylor offered a hand, and gave Estela’s a soft squeeze. “We’ve already put the med centre on alert,” she said gently, hoping to reassure herself as well as her wife. Those jitters were starting to escalate. “The healers have delivered plenty of babies by emergency C-section; if bub needs a hand, help will be here in minutes.”

Estela stroked Taylor’s fingers. She was a great comfort. Far greater than she could say. They’d been through a lot together, faced down impossible odds; this, Estela told herself, was something totally different. Babies were born every minute of every day, and she was strong, and fit, and healthy. All she had to was grit her teeth and power through.

The sky outside darkened, and it seemed quite clear that the night would be a long one. With progress slow, Taylor killed some time by rustling up some snacks from the kitchen. When she came back upstairs, she couldn’t help but let her eye linger upon the small room, the one that would soon belong to their child. All of a sudden, that their lives were about to change became very real. She’d never had a childhood herself, so to have the blessing of experiencing it through her own son or daughter was a great unknown. Taylor was certain she was ready. The one her friends would turn to with all their problems, she would be an open and supportive parent. And in Estela… well, she couldn’t ask for a more fiercely loving partner. It would be scary, but as Taylor saw it, all the best adventures were.

The hours dragged by so slowly. Taylor found herself fidgety, and took to slowly pacing beside the bed. She still felt like a spare part, and nervous energy built up within her as she picked up the same from Estela. They were now hours in, and there was a sense that they were turning towards the last, dangerous stretch… and still Taylor could do little to ease the process.

Estela’s staunch stoicism began to falter. A trembling bottom lip betrayed her fear as she hit a wall, scared for the first time since her labour began. The contractions kept coming, with barely a pause. Wave after wave, stronger, as if her body was trying to tear itself apart, and no chance to come up for air. It felt as though she had no control over her own body… and by extension, the baby. She was a passenger along for the ride, powerless. After so many hours, countless nightmare scenarios had time to run through her head, now haunting her, and doubt in herself set in with a vengeance. As soon as she let that primal fear take hold, a wave of grief hit her, so strong that she might drown.

Worried, Michelle rubbed her arm. “What’s going on? Estela?”

There was no response. Estela looked away; her expression distant as she retreated into herself. She wanted to cry, to scream, but it would not bring what she needed.

“It’s getting more intense because we’re getting near the time when you need to push. This is normal. Talk to us, okay?”

Still nothing.

Taylor leaned over the bed, reaching for Estela, unnerved by the change, so swift and profound. Something was really not right. She took her wife’s shaking hand and squeezed, and the pressure returned was fierce, panicked. Still, she struggled to get eye contact; Estela appeared lost, far away. “…Hey…” When she finally met Estela’s eyes, she saw a plea for help. The penny dropped.

“Hey, could you give us a moment?” she asked in Michelle’s ear, her voice hushed.

Once they were left alone, Taylor climbed onto the bed and brought Estela’s head to her chest, stroking her sweat-drenched hair. “You want your mom…”

The painful lump in Estela’s throat gave way. She leaned into Taylor, who cradled her as she cried and writhed in agony.

“I’m so sorry, my love, my beautiful Estela… I’m sorry she can’t be here, holding your hand like she should be…”

The floodgates had opened, and Estela sobbed into her wife’s shirt, her hands clutching desperately at her back, hanging on as if afraid of losing her too. It made Taylor’s heart ache.

“That’s it… let it out…” Taylor kissed Estela’s soaked brow and held her close, gently rocking her as her body convulsed through a contraction that just seemed to go on forever. “I’ve got you. You just hold on tight, okay? I’ve got you, and I’m never… I’m never letting go.”

“Taylor… it hurts.”

It hurts so bad. Mami….

“I know… I know…,” Taylor whispered. More kisses, the only inadequate comfort she could offer. It just wasn’t fair.  “She’s part of you always, sweetheart… nothing can ever take that from you. And our little baby… she’s part of our baby too. All that love your mom gave you, you get to pass it on, share it with bub.” Taylor sighed, feeling the weight of her helplessness as her wife gripped her ever tighter, gasping in pain. She couldn’t help with the baby, and she sure as hell give Estela what she really needed. Her voice caught in her throat. “I know it can never be enough.”

Slowly… agonisingly slowly, the intensity receded, the contractions slowed, and Estela could finally catch her breath, her vice-grip on Taylor’s back slackening. It felt as though the worst was over. She felt a tender kiss to the side of her face, and returned it, even as she trembled in Taylor’s arms.

“Sorry,” she panted, offering a weak smile.  “I didn’t expect it to creep up on me like that. I just… started to get nervous about the baby coming, and… God, it hurt so bad… and the more scared I got… it was almost like I was a kid again, needing her so much.”

“That’s natural, Stel.”

“And I guess I can feel that it’s close now. It doesn’t… it doesn’t feel right for the baby to come… and her not be here. I’m sorry, I just…”

“Hey…don’t apologise.” Taylor took Estela’s face in her hands, stroking away tears with the gentlest touch. “This is where your strength comes from; your big heart… even the part that’s always going to be broken. It’s why you’re gonna be the most wonderful, incredible mama to our little baby. Your mom would be so proud of you, Estela. God, I know I am.”

Estela nuzzled against Taylor’s fingers, taking one to her mouth in a soft kiss. She looked at her through her tears, feeding off the devotion that shone back in those brilliant blue eyes. Her mother would be so happy that she had Taylor, in her corner through it all. In a way… it was she who’d brought them together.

She exhaled shakily, and groaned through another godawful contraction. “I can’t wait for you to hold our baby…”

Taylor pressed her forehead to Estela’s, her heart full to bursting. “You are so, so strong, love. You’ve got this.” And I’ve got you.

Estela closed her eyes, soothed by the intimate touch. “Taylor… thank you.” A kiss to her cheek told her that Taylor understood. That they were in this together really went without saying. She took a deep breath. Time to do this. “We should bring Michelle back in; I think I’m ready to start pushing.”

There was a small flurry of activity as Michelle hurriedly resumed doctor duties, and confirmed that things were indeed moving along. Getting comfortable was all but impossible, but Estela eventually settled kneeling up against Taylor, letting gravity help her out.

Another shuddering cry rang out as Estela dug deep to push against the all-consuming pain. Progress felt excruciatingly slow. Her powerful body strained with every ounce of strength, willing the baby onwards, while she held on desperately to Taylor’s hand.

“You’re doing great… you might just break my fingers, but you’re doing great.”

Again and again she switched positions, her frustration growing. She pushed and panted, all the while feeling as though her body was trying to tear itself in two.

At long last --to the expectant mothers it might have been an eternity-- the baby’s head appeared, and Taylor reluctantly eased away from her wife, to be helped into position for delivery by Michelle. Her heart pounded wildly at the first glimpse. There it was. Their baby. Their baby…

Michelle leaned in close, nervous exhilaration clear on her face. “Are you ready? I’ll be right here with you to check baby over.” Receiving a confident nod, she returned her attention to the person who was doing all the hard work. “Estela, you’re so, so close.”

“…I fucking hope so…”

“On the next contraction, I want you to pant through it… gentle pushes so the head doesn’t come too fast.Once the head’s out, I think… I think one more big push should do it.”

Estela whimpered and looked to Taylor for reassurance. This had gone on long enough… she needed to know that the baby was all right. Gentle, murmured words of encouragement and a soft rub against her leg helped to steady her, and she steeled herself for the next wave. In Taylor’s eyes she saw everything she felt herself; fear, exhilaration, and desperate, desperate longing. This was it now; she was bringing her baby home.

A strong cry rang out as the baby entered the world, straight into Taylor’s waiting hands, instantly bringing her to tears. Tiny arms reached out in bewilderment and the baby hollered in shock at the sudden transition. Murmuring gentle words of comfort, Taylor brought the child up to her face, softly kissing as the indignant cries quietened.

“Is the baby okay-- Taylor, is baby okay?”

Taylor bundled the wet, disoriented infant close to her, while Michelle checked it over, and responded with a voice thick with elated tears. “Stel, she’s perfect. Ten fingers, ten toes, and she’s already got a lot to say for herself.”

Tears streamed down Estela’s face as her hands flew to her mouth in sweet disbelief. Their baby was here… she was here and she was safe. Her voice trembled when she spoke, the briefest glimpses of the child enough to send her into emotional overwhelm. “She? She’s a girl?”

“She’s a beautiful girl.”

Receiving an encouraging nod from Michelle, Taylor brought the baby, now wrapped in a towel, and gently eased her into Estela’s waiting arms.

Estela’s breath caught in her throat. When she met her daughter’s eyes, she thought she might never look away. “Oh my god…” She wept, clutching the child to her bare chest, and her heart skipped a beat as a tiny mouth latched onto her breast. “Mi dulce niña, mi bebé, mi bebé…”

She reluctantly tore her gaze away from her precious baby to look up at Taylor, whose eyes were swimming, face shining with love. “Taylor…”

Sniffling helplessly, Taylor leaned in and kissed the top of her wife’s head again and again. “Oh god, I love you, Estela… I love her… I… I…”

Michelle looked on, a hand over her heart and her eyes misty. “Congratulations, both of you. She’s just… absolutely, completely gorgeous. And… and thank you.” The slight shake of her voice gave away her emotions. “That you wanted me to share this with you… it honestly means the world.”

Taylor stood up and wrapped her friend in the tightest, most loving of hugs. “Thank you. So, so much. I don’t know what we did to deserve you, but we love you so much, Michelle.”

Wiping tears from her eyes, Estela have a little nod, looking at Michelle with fierce gratitude and affection. She couldn’t find the words, but a quiet understanding was all that was needed.

“I love you both. And your little angel…” Michelle felt endless satisfaction as she watched the infant nurse at her friend’s chest. To have played even a small part in making that happen, her heart might just burst with pride.

Taylor climbed into the bed and wriggled down under the covers, drawn into the heat of Estela’s body. She nuzzled her face towards her chest and took in a deep breath as she pressed a long kiss to the baby’s soft head, taking in the sweetest of scents.

“So… Olivia?” she asked.

Estela’s eyes welled as she nodded her head. She knew Taylor understood, and in that moment, she couldn’t love her more. “Our Livita. Maybe, Olivia… Andromeda? You should be a part of her name.”

“Oh. Oh, wow.” For a few moments, Taylor was lost for words, and she simply looked at her beloved with starry eyes. She took Estela’s hand and kissed it before going back to kiss their daughter again--how she’d ever get enough of smooching that child’s dear little face, she’d never know. “That’s… that’s perfect. She’s perfect.” She stroked Olivia’s dark, downy hair, her skin so impossibly soft. “Oh, my Livi… our angel… we love you all the way to the stars.”

“All the way to the stars, and back again,” Estela corrected with a wink.

Michelle quietly bustled around them, cleaning up and making sure all the boxes were ticked on her baby delivery checklist. It was some hour later before the afterbirth was delivered and she was confident enough to say that all was well. Completely ecstatic though Michelle was, she was more than ready to collapse into her pillow by the time she headed to the door.

“I’ll give you some privacy,” she said softly, knowing that her work there was done. Both mothers were handling the baby confidently, and with a tenderness that was heart-warming to behold. Tucked up against Estela’s chest, a hand protectively cradling her tiny body, no child could wish for a safer, more loving embrace in which to rest. “I’ll be back in a minute if you need anything at all, but I’ve got a feeling you can take it from here.”

The first rays of sunlight filtered through the floaty drapes, a welcome dawn after the longest of nights, bringing the colour of day to the new life that settled, fed and contented, against the warmth of her mothers’ beating hearts.

Before she turned to go, Michelle left a kiss each on her friends’ foreheads and stroked under the baby’s tiny chin.

“Olivia Andromeda Montoya, welcome to the world.”