#this poem has like 3 months in my drafts

[simpingforstardew]

muse

pairing: sdv elliot x reader

synopsis: elliot is struggling with severe writers block; if only he had a muse...

note: a while ago i talked about having a derivative idea for an elliot x reader fic; here is that fic !! the premise is completely unoriginal, but i'll leave the references at the end of the fic to avoid spoilers hehe

warnings: i don't even know for this one gang, wholesome w/ an ending that could be read as spooky? let's call it a doomed romance !! tw/ relationships that are doomed by the narrative !!

word count: 1.5k

Adronitis

A heart so damaged; tender; sore—

You ever-blooming sycamore,

Through hunger pangs; my deliriousness,

I mourn my mortal catoptric tristesse.

With starving dreams, your warmth I crave—

I worship you, I must embrave,

Indulge me, lay your fear ahind.

Our sanctuary; your piece of mind.

My amorous famine demands more […more what?],

So I feast on your smile […] petrichor.

i am just writing this right niw so it

looks lije i am being pro ductive oh Yoba

andnow leahs comin g over this

is alll shit im jist going to star t overrr

“How’s the writing going, El’?” Leah peers down at Elliot with a smile, wiping the sweat from her brow. “We’ve been at it for a while without a break, you know?”

“Oh, Leah! It’s going splendidly, and yes, it seems we have…” Elliot coughs, avoiding eye contact while tearing the paper from his typewriter. “Why don’t we call it for today then?”

“Without showing me what you’ve done? C’mon,” she whines, “What do you have?”

Elliot and Leah had decided, sometime early last Spring, to meet in Cindersnap forest every Wednesday to work on their current projects. ‘Parallel play for artists,’ Penny once called it when walking Jas back to Marnie’s ranch. For Leah, this weekly rendezvous has (so far) allowed her to complete 2 clay sculptures, 3 wood sculptures, 23 drawings, and 8 paintings; for Elliot, the last few months has allowed him to create…

“Nothing,” Elliot sighs, packing his typewriter’s case with a frown. “I have, somehow, written nothing! I mean, I wanted to craft a Petrarchan sonnet, inspired by Poe’s romantic, yet macabre sensibilities. I ended up with trash I couldn’t even make hendecasyllabic. It’s embarrassingly Shakespearian and—”

“Whoa, whoa, buddy, that’s okay. That’s fine. I’m not sure what any of that means, but…” Leah scrunches her freckled nose, hoping to find the right words to calm Elliot down, “It seems like you’re expecting perfection from a first draft. Maybe we should call it for today, and you could revisit your poem tomorrow?”

“Yes, you are right,” the authors scowl softens; after a moment of meditation—feeling the summer breeze tangle in his hair—he looks towards Leah with a smile. “I will see you next week, Miss Faraday.”

Elliot didn’t return to his typewriter until later that week, deciding instead to bask in the sun’s warmth on the beach. The author sits on the pier with a contented sigh, the rhythmic sound of waves crashing against the shore providing a soothing backdrop to his afternoon reverie.

Even still, despite the Elysium that he has found himself in, Elliot cannot shake his frustrations; his linguistic discouragement plagued his every thought.

“Ahoy there, my boy! Perfect weather for fishing don’t ya reckon?” Willy smiles, closing the front door to the Fish Shop behind him. Elliot

“Ah, hello Mr. Tucker,” Elliot waves as the fisherman sits beside him, attaching a small blue tackle onto an impressively shiny rod, “I suppose it is, although I fear I don’t have my fishing gear with me today.”

“What’d I tell you about calling me that? No need to be so formal, son,” Willy chuckles, casting a line into the vast depths of the saltwater, “Say, aren’t ya usually off in town around this time? Feel like I never see you this early on a Wednesday.”

Elliot still had to adjust to the predictive routine of a small town, and the horrifying consequences of straying from said routine: becoming the topic of mid-afternoon gossip.

“Yes, well, I um—,” Elliot sighs, looking into the deep blue below as if the ocean concealed the antidote to writers block, “I have been, writing with Leah every Wednesday and… actually can I ask for some advice?”

“O’ Course ya can, my boy.” Willy nods.

“I have been… struggling lately,” The taller man slumps as he runs a hand through his auburn hair, his voice heavy with uncertainty, “I feel as if I have lost my spark, my… capacité artistique. I cannot, for the life of me, write anything of quality! I just… I feel broken, Mr. William.”

Willy takes a moment to think, slowly breathing in the salty air, “Hmm, I see your problem, lad— but it’s important to know yer not broken. Aye, nothin’ about ya is broken.”

A fish tugs at Willy’s fishing line: desperately; hopelessly.

“It’s like if yer pal Willy couldn’t fish anymore… I’d sooner swallow a sea urchin than lose my ability to do what I love,” Willy pulls the rod towards him, putting up a fight with whatever poor creature is on the other end of the line, “but sometimes it’s tricky doing what ya love 24/7, son! You got to remind yerself to take breaks, and…”

The creature is hurled out of the ocean, flapping helplessly as the fisherman releases it from his tackle. Willy holds the freshly-caught octopus up to Elliot.

“Remind yerself why ya love it!” Willy chuckles, before mumbling to himself about throwing his newest catch in a tank lest he ‘gets inked’.

As Elliot sits in contemplative silence, the ocean offering solace: the rushing winds, the distant cry of seagulls, even the smell of salty air. Over the last year and a half, he has grown to love it all.

As he rises to his feet, Elliot considers his friends’ advice. He certainly didn’t want to remain in this slump forever; so he needs to find a reminder of why he loves writing; a source of reinvigorating inspiration.

He needs to find a muse.

A muse in a village with a population of 27.

‘Well,’ Elliot thinks, slamming his cabin’s door shut behind him as he slides onto his desk chair. He sets up his Olympia SM 9 for the second time today. ‘If I can’t find my muse in life, I will simply create my muse in art.’

For a moment, the black page loaded into the typewriter stares back at Elliot, mockingly. Then, as suddenly as the crash of thunder that bellows from above, the author began to write.

Elliot bursts into the Fish Shop, his manuscript clutched tightly in hand, a triumphant gleam in his eye. “Willy, my friend, you’re incredible!” he cheered, his excitement palpable. “I truly could not have done this without your support.”

Willy grins, offering a sincere thumbs-up. “Glad to hear it, lad! So what was your reminder, eh? What got you back on track?”

Elliot coughs, a flush creeping up his freckled cheeks. “Well, you see… I made it up.”

Willy arches an eyebrow, bemused,“Ya made up yer reminder for why you love writing? Now, son…”

“No, no,” Elliot hastens to explain, “My love for writing is genuine. But my muse, my darling muse, is not.”

“I’m not following, my boy.”

“I have spent all night crafting the narrative of a completely fabricated person, it’s all here,” Elliot elaborates, “They’re genuinely kind, talented and hard-working, despite never being appreciated. They have the most charming mole on their neck, and they’re delightfully witty! After their grandfather passed away, they—”

“Son,” Willy interrupted gently, his tone tinged with amusement, “Yer a peculiar one, ya know that? How is this going to help with yer writing?”

“It does sound ridiculous, but dedicating my sonnets to this idealised character… thinking of them as I work on my novel… It has been phenomenally motivating!” Elliot laughs, re-reading through the pages before stopping in his tracks, “Oh, I do apologise old friend, I barged into your shop like a man possessed.”

It had been months since Elliot had felt such a fervent desire to write; his unbridled excitement was contagious; a smirk spreads across Willy’s face, crinkling the corners of his dark green eyes.

“If it were anyone else instead of you, I’d be furious, lad,” Willy chuckles, reaching into his mini fridge, “‘Ere, I whipped up too many crab cakes last night, and I know they’re yer favourite— consider it a gift.”

As Elliot arrives back at his cabin, writing snacks in tow, the muffled playing of his piano greets him. He chuckles softly, before preparing to shoo Harvey out of his home so he could resume his day of writing.

“Sincerest apologies, I—,”

“Oh! Honey, you’re back so soon.” Turning away from the piano, your eyes catch Elliot’s with a familiar warmth. You admire the way your boyfriend’s hair always forms delicate waves when exposed to the sea spray.

The author was struck speechless, his heart pounding as he stared at you with more focus than you have ever been subject to.

It couldn’t be real. And yet there you are. You. The muse Elliot had crafted— who's entire life was written mere hours prior on the pages that were now strewn about the floor— was standing before him in flesh and blood.

Every flawless detail exactly as he had imagined.

“Elliot, darling, are you okay?” Your smile becomes wry; nervous as to why your lover was acting so peculiar, his pale skin was now a ghastly white. “Would you like me to pour some wine? We can—”

Before your suggestion was made, Elliot was gone; the door slamming shut behind him.

note #2: okay if you didn't catch it, my inspiration was the 1960 episode of the Twilight Zone: 'A World of His Own', and (more relevantly) the 2012 psychological horror romcom Ruby Sparks !! if you check out either that episode or movie, pleasepleaseplease lmk what you think <33

[maythedreadwolftakeyou]

Fic authors self rec! When you get this, reply with your favorite five fics that you've written, then pass on to at least five other writers. Spread the self-love ❤️

<3 Ooohhh ok hm... honestly i do not post much fic (checked AO3 and only 18), for the amount that i start writing and then leave in various stages of completion in drafts on my computer, oops. Unfortunately at least 1 favorite is in that category, but here we go!

Fallout from the Fade (Dragon Age: Inquisition): Hawke is left in the fade during the events of DAI's Here Lies The Abyss, but manages to fight her way back out. However she's left to recover from the severe side effects and trauma that come along. Ok my confession here is while i have not updated this fic since 2020, i have in fact written more of it. But since i kept going so long (months... and then years...) between chapters I decided it'd be better if i just finish writing the rest myself (at least roughly) so i know how much more there is to go and can update it on a more regular schedule in the future when i start posting again. Alas i am very slow at this bc of grad school and also bc i get distracted easily and... have less motivation to work on it when not actually getting feedback as i go. So i may change my mind about this approach eventually but it's where the fic stands now.

Like Teeth Against His Heart (Dragon Age: Inquisition): After Solas wakes up from uthenera, he has many conversations with a variety of spirits over the course of DAI. Sometimes they tell him what he wants to hear, and sometimes they don't. I typically like the recent things I've written the most and this is that. It's a prose-poem style that plays with formatting, aka its kind of Weird, and weird is my favorite. I wrote it for a charity zine which also meant i had to have a Final Version rather than endlessly tweak it forever which was irritating at the time but also good for me.

Unposted, No-Finalized-Title fic, with the file jokingly named 'Sam I Am' (Mass Effect: Andromeda): pre-Andromeda and game timeline but from the perspective of your ship's AI, who also lives inside your character's brain, and in the game admits to altering your brain/body, and hello??? the game did NOT let me respond to that to the degree I desired? One of my literary obsessions is the combination of AI (the sci fi kind not... generative art etc) plus human augmentation... what that does to both parties sense of self, their relationships, how they view and function in the world, etc. In the vein of Silently And Very Fast by Cat Valente, Imperial Radch by Ann Lecke, Murderbot by Martha Wells... and I spent soooo much time wishing Andromeda had gone deeper into that angle/thinking about it myself I wrote. Quite a long fic about it. But i only played the game once and there wasn't much fan love/fanworks for it so I never posted it or any other Andromeda stuff I wrote, it was more just for myself. I'd like to go back and finish this fic but I estimate it'd be in the 40-70k word range and i'd need to replay the game to refresh my memory so it's like, a project for when i have a bunch of free time at some point in the future, since it's mostly just for Me.

the people you love become ghosts inside of you, and like this, you keep them alive (Mass Effect trilogy): Snippets of a variety of Garrus' thoughts and memories of Shepard, and a growing realization about the nature of love like theirs. I don't expect anyone to love this one but me, because it's just a self-indulgent thing I wrote specifically to figure out the flavor of grief involved in the relationship between my personal Shepard and Garrus. It's not as poem-formatted as my Solavellan one but the prose leans hard in that direction, and they came from the same place for me. I wrote it after finishing the trilogy because I (unlike a lot of fans, i know) felt very adamant that the correct ending for my Shepard is that she is dead now, and not coming back, and needed to cry some more about that.

like the leaves after a long winter (Dragon Age II): It's the first Christmas/Satinalia since Leandra's death, and Hawke is not in the mood for festivities -- until she realizes that everyone else will be spending it alone and finds herself hosting a party without even meaning to. I'll be honest #5 spot was kind of a toss up between this one, Less A Man Than A Wild Cat, and Grief. But I've decided on this one because 1. it covers my favorite thing to write about aka grief, but is actually written as a story/proper narrative unlike others i've already put on this list. With fanfic the most important thing to me before anything else is self-indulgence. While I love writing for prompts (like this one was!), my specific joy in that is taking an idea from someone else and figuring out how to cram all the things I care about into someone else's plot summary. Fanfic for me is like... it feels weird to call it 'writing exercises' because that implies i don't care about the final project when i very much do. Writing challenges? Maybe? Idk i just really enjoy having limitations to work within. Having NO boundaries is where I do my original content writing, so writing within the bounds of an existing franchise already means there's some limits (like keeping to characterizations, plot, etc) and then adding more on top makes it a fun experience and keeps me engaged.

While these are my top 5, I definitely don't think most of them are what other people would pick as a favorite from my (admittedly very limited) amount of posted writing, Fallout from the Fade being the exception. I think my friends probably like the one where I turned Fenris into a cat best (and that was VERY fun it's just also more lighthearted which i struggle to write sooooo bad), and then every one else is in my inbox about the single Solas x F!Travelyan fic I wrote largely as an experiment in writing sex scenes. sorry to everyone who read that and then tried to read my other fics and discovered its mostly blood and loss and Yearning...

[lottiecrabie]

As a recent lottiecrabie enthusiast and longtime feral consumer of a certain M Healy related writings, I saw something about a tutor!au. Here are my dreadful, frankly illegal thoughts. Do whatever you will with them, Lady Lottie. Your works kill me in the sweetest, sexiest way and resuscitate me harshly back to life.

1. You're a maths student , year two in the university. He's the newly joined English TA that's been developing a bit of a reputation for his longwinded rants in class and his unconventional assignments.

2. Like what the fuck is "Write about being an influencer in a dystopian world where you have to sell a graffiti eraser for VR devices after artists are actively vandalising the metaverse"

3. Anyway, hallway whispers about how attractive he is find their way to you but you're wholly unconvinced because pfft, really now, this is a cliche. One drunken evening at the local bar and you're jostling shoulders, he's ordering a long island iced tea just because and eyeing your whiskey on the rocks. He's really as pretentious as you thought he was - a dark mop of curly hair, crisp linen shirt and this dense, buttery jacket scented with menthol, marijuana and bergamot. He has a delicious rasp, holding court with his little circle of friends about how fullstops have come to mean something completely different when people text each other in the present day. There's not much you think of it - except one night after you break things off for good with your boyfriend who asks if you've come five minutes. into sex.

4. That night, you find yourself wondering if his neatly filed nails would leave red crescent commas on your skin, if your moans would be the em dashes between his consecutive thrusts. You imagine him seeing you at work, chalkboards filled with a haze of numbers and letters, you're arguing about why pure math PhDs and English PhDs are really two sides of the same coin, languages to explore the textures of the world.

5. You realise you're irrevocably fucked.

The annual debate between your college and the rival one is announced and you want to take part, as you always do, except this time it's a whole series of complex themes that require you to be assisted by someone else. Guess who you're assigned as your mentor.

6. You can't think straight, but you want to impress him so much. He's pretty much unfazed - logically unfolding his stances like an origami blossom. His mind entices and frustrates you : how can you possibly read Shakespeare today and a bunch of e-girl tweets the next and use both of these in your speeches?! Good lord. The longer you resist the urges, the worse they become. He dances in circles around you. Sleepless nights. Scattered sheets and unfinished drafts. Smoke breaks across the campus. Joints rolled with thin paper you bum from the art department, you sit blowing plumes at each other one orange afternoon. He reveals himself in delicate slices - a flash of a tattoo on his taut abdomen, soft voiced calls to his mother, Heroin by Velvet Underground playing from his tinny earphones.

7. He's dissatisfied - there's some verve and rawness that's missing from your stage presence. you're not emoting enough. He jokingly wonders what the cause might be - the lack of sleep, or the lack of sleeping together? Wait, you haven't had sex in months? There it is.

8. He says that sex sells. In order to convince the audience, you need to have seduce them with your mind.

Prove it, you say.

9. He finds May I Feel by e.e cummings and decides to walk around you as you take turns to recite it. By the fifth line, you've had enough. His knees are behind to yours, his skin branding into your stockings. He places his fucking mouth close, so close to your ear - warm enough to entice you with the possibility of a kiss, but instead he takes it away just as swiftly.

10. "let's go said he

not too far said she

what's too far said he

where you are said she" (side note - I recommend listening to the Tom Hiddleston version of the poem!)

You laugh, because it's so bitterly on the nose. He wonders aloud if he's really too far - too far away from you, that is.

His first kiss is like a wine tasting. He sips and nibbles your lips, sweetly parting it with his inquiring tongue. His fingers snake across your body, a low laugh caught in his throat when his hands brush your guilty nipples. Dilated pupils, and filthy promises. His kisses are poisonous, intoxicating.

11. Rutting mindlessly over his desk. Panting, whining in back seat of your car. Wet kisses in a darkened theatre. Hand jobs in the library, leaving the both of you a shivering mess. He is relentless, rendering you feverish for more. He refuses to have sex until he's satisfied his desire to explore you enough.

12. You try to take matters into your own hands and dress in a tiny skirt, with the smallest scrap of lace covering your soaking cunt. You end up over his lap, his handprints still warm on your back.

13. He worships you. He spits in your mouth. He ties your hands to the bedframe. He calls you sweetheart, baby, my darling. He doesn't stop edging you. He makes you read poems and eats you out, with the threat of stopping if you stutter even a little. He makes you think, he makes you dream, he makes you laugh.

14. You don't care about the debate anymore.

oh my god this was so lovely!! love when u guys leave me blurbs like this to read i feel like I’m the one getting bedtime stories for change. you have such a vivid and imagery way of writing it’s so beautiful. the prose is so delicate and effective; i can so clearly Feel and See the moment. i especially love ‘his first kiss is like a wine tasting’ and ‘you sit blowing plumes at each other one orange afternoon’. get on tumblr mama start writing there’ll be a spot opening up soon✊

although this is a lot more professor!matty than tutor!au🕺 (the tutor!au staples are weird loser virgin nerd with cool popular bitchy experienced girl) you actually kinda knocked it out of the park for professor like yeah that guy is making her read poetry while eating her out. yes ofc they’re making out on his desk. well yeah he’s debating you and only getting you more worked up for him

[caltropspress]

RAPS + CRAFTS #22: shemar

1. Introduce yourself. Past projects? Current projects?

Yo, I’m shemar. I rap and produce under my given name. I prefer to be referenced in all lowercase (the “bell hooks” reasoning, all love if you don’t / forget to). I released my first EP sound of summer burning the body in September 2022. Since then, I’ve dropped one album (obtuse ways to say that i love you, November 2023) and a couple EPs. My most recent release is sunscreen, fully produced by the immensely talented Child Actor. I consider that EP the end of my rookie “year” as a rapper. I’m currently working on two rap albums. One is produced by Outside House and the other produced by bloomcycle. Don’t expect them anytime soon. A lot of my producer work should be releasing this year, including an album with fox, an album with baegull, a lot of songs with money for water, and wherever else the wind takes me! I hope to loosen up some while finishing all these joints. Maybe drop raps here and there, a beat tape, whatever else. I hope to be more publicly present for a majority of the year, but nothing grand, ya know?

2. Where do you write? Do you have a routine time you write? Do you discipline yourself, or just let the words come when they will? Do you typically write on a daily basis?

I tend to solidify my ideas at home. Lines come to me pretty frequently, but organizing those lines is a super mood based thing. There are times where I’ll draft up at least a verse a week for months, and there are times where I’m in an organization drought. I’ve been writing heavily for seven years at this point, and have moved on from the fear of “losing the magic” recently. It’s less that I don’t think I can lose it. I think, if I do “lose the magic,” then it’ll come back when it’s ready or I’ve done everything I can in this medium. It is what it is. I deeply admire those who have a consistent, disciplined writing schedule. That’s just not me at the moment.

3. What’s your medium—pen and paper, laptop, on your phone? Or do you compose a verse in your head and keep it there until it’s time to record?

My process bounces between my Notes app and a notebook. When I come up with lines, they stay in my phone. I have a “Poem Thoughts” note on my phone just for this purpose. My notebook comes in once I’m ready to organize those lines into a larger idea. Once I have that solid first draft, I bounce it onto my phone. From there, I might make little edits on my phone as I memorize the verse for recording. The written word is most important to me, but I care a lot about how it feels coming off my tongue. A lot of my smaller edits are just to make the verse easier to one-take. I appreciate having my solidified ideas in two places because if something happens to one tool, I can still refer to the other. I almost lost an older verse from not following this process, so I’m very particular about it.

4. Do you write in bars, or is it more disorganized than that?

I think I write in a pretty disorganized manner. My biggest rapper fear is someone I admire asking for a feature and being like, “Give me a 16,” or whatever. I can count bars; I never think about it when I’m writing though. If anything, I care more about how much time my writing takes up. I don’t really like taking up space, so my verses/songs are usually shorter to reflect that. I could never see myself having a solo song that hits four minutes, or an album that hits 40 minutes. It’s just not me at the moment.

5. How long into writing a verse or a song do you know it’s not working out the way you had in mind? Do you trash the material forever, or do you keep the discarded material to be reworked later?

It’s all in the feeling for me. Each step in my process has a moment where I can discard what doesn’t “feel right.” Sometimes when I’m in an organization drought, it might be because I’m overwhelmed by the quantity of loose lines in my “Poem Thoughts” note. So I’ll just delete the whole note and start over. The lines that are meant to be will stay with me. I practice rapping each line while I’m organizing. If anything feels wrong I just scrap it, be it an individual line or a whole verse. Earlier on into rapping, if a song got a demo that solidified, it’ll come out. Lately I’ve gotten comfortable scrapping demos, usually because I find a better beat for what I’m trying to say / how the idea needs to be presented. My favorite example of this at the moment is this song (unreleased) I have called "whomp’s fortress." The original demo was on a very different beat, a dope one still, but I’m much more comfortable with/confident in the current version. I’m very adamant that everything comes together how it’s supposed to. That keeps me from being scared about reconstructing an idea.

6. Have you engaged with any other type of writing, whether presently or in the past? Fiction? Poetry? Playwriting? If so, how has that mode influenced your songwriting?

I’ve always wanted to be a writer. When I was a kid, I wanted to write sprawling YA novels akin to Percy Jackson. Those never got past a few chapters at most, but I would envision the plots from beginning to end every single night. I started writing poetry in early high school, honestly because I wanted to be a rapper. I fucking sucked at rapping, so I thought focusing on poetry would help me become a decent rapper. I took a hella long route but I guess I was right in the end, huh?

I have many poems that I’m still proud of, and occasionally incorporate lines from them into my verses. The self-plagiarism is personal. I like the idea of treating my older self with the same reverence I give my other influences (Amiri Baraka, Henry Dumas, etc.). When I wrote poems, I was very focused on making every sentence hit. I don’t like being stripped from the full context, but if someone is gonna do it might as well make the line hard as fuck ya know? It was to the point where my poems just became bricks of text. Hearing Fred Moten’s work at a poetry festival put that idea into my head, and I just ran with it. I think that writing philosophy is still foundational to what I do now.

7. How much editing do you do after initially writing a verse/song? Do you labor over verses, working on them over a long period of time, or do you start and finish a piece in a quick burst?

After that initial draft, I spend a lot of time reflecting on my verses. I usually know what each individual line means, but I rarely grasp the personal depth of my verses until I really sit with them. I might make little changes to a verse to better emphasize certain ideas that feel urgent. I also consider my audience during editing, something I never do during earlier parts of the process. I’m not necessarily interested in being understood, but I don’t wanna be misunderstood either.

I consider unlearning a very urgent process. One major aspect of unlearning, in my opinion, entails being aware of possible violence you could be perpetuating, even in something as “small” as a word. I’m always striving to present an honest version of myself, good or bad. Simultaneously, I fucking hate those who say personal things / mistakes just for the shock value. Oftentimes shock value is just an excuse to spew reactionary bullshit. I don’t ever want my work to be reduced to that. I deeply admire artists like billy woods and Fatboi Sharif, who have really mastered shock value that isn’t regressive as fuck. All and all, when it comes to editing I try not to get in my own way.

8. Do you write to a beat, or do you adjust and tweak lyrics to fit a beat?

It’s rare that I come up with lines while listening to a beat, but I always work with a beat when I’m organizing lines. Even if the lines don’t end up on that beat, just having a backdrop to hear how the words fall is so helpful to getting that solid draft.

9. What dictates the direction of your lyrics? Are you led by an idea or topic you have in mind beforehand? Is it stream-of-consciousness? Is what you come up with determined by the constraint of the rhymes?

My lyrics are super stream-of-consciousness, a byproduct of my process. I take from my experiences with the world with the intention to reflect and learn.

Not gonna lie, I don’t care about rhyming at all, as blasphemous as that feels to say. I obviously try to do it, but I prioritize getting my shit off. There are times where I just won’t rhyme. I’m not particularly proud or disappointed about the fact. Sometimes shit just happens that way. I think as I’ve become more comfortable with / better at rapping, I’m finding those pockets where I can say exactly what I want while rhyming. It’s a cool feeling. I will always prioritize saying what feels right though, rhyming or not.

10. Do you like to experiment with different forms and rhyme schemes, or do you keep your bars free and flexible?

I used to be extremely one-track minded regarding how I rapped, but I’ve been opening up to trying more. One of my homies, baegull, has been a huge reason for this. He has a clear style, but I don’t know anyone who’s so open to molding the way they rap like him. It’s quickly becoming his biggest strength.

Recently, I’ve been focused on rapping a little slower. I think there’s always an urgency in what I write, but I’m interested in articulating that feeling differently. I don’t think I rap fast per se, but I’ve been told that all the words can be overwhelming at times. Once I start, I don’t really stop until the song is over. I enjoy that about my work a lot; it’s the style built from my work as a poet. I’ll never let go of it. Still, I’m experimenting with letting lines breathe a tiny bit more, putting heavy emphasis on certain words through my delivery alone.

11. What’s a verse you’re particularly proud of, one where you met the vision for what you desire to do with your lyrics?

"skytrain! skytrain!" captures who I am in a way no song has. I really feel it’s my best song so far. It’s genuinely difficult to describe how “me” that song is without saying “just talk to me then listen to the song,” but that’s really it. This song is a collage of people and events from my life, and even beyond it: writing during D.E.A.R time in 1st grade, visiting my grandfather in Alabama during late elementary, and references to friends from high school / early college, and more; all written under land that existed in my family long before I did. I was also just going dummy all through this song. Some of these lines are so fucking nuts, in my opinion. If you (the reader) have not listened to me before, I’d suggest that song to start (and then the rest of the EP, please and thank you).

12. Can you pick a favorite bar of yours and describe the genesis of it?

A portion from "if you can read this (morning breath)," the sixth track on obtuse ways to say that i love you:

useda watch sun and moon play favorites now resort to tentative hope uncertainty, comfortable place could never claim clairvoyance my portion of love freedom rooted

This was the first song that I intentionally wrote for that project (I wrote "speakeasy" a couple months prior). I’d consider it the closest thing to a title track for the album. I spent a lot of that time reflecting on how I love and why. I think the track as a whole, but especially these lines, captured it extremely well. I really appreciate how I used the image of the ever-present sun / moon in the  sky, specifically how it seems like they’re always following us, as a representation for childhood. Like just the genuine main character syndrome we all had as kids, ya know? At those times, everything literally orbited around us. Of course that’s something to outgrow, but I also feel there’s some wholesomeness in being able to boldly claim, “I matter, I’m important.” It’s a very different feeling from the “tentative hope” that I live with now. But uncertainty has become a beautiful, comfortable place for me. The last line explains why, because my portion of love is freedom rooted. I’m uninterested in ownership, being followed, anyone’s world orbiting around me. Traditional ideas about romance haven’t served me well. Real rigid traditions aren't for me at all honestly. Who I love, when I love them, how I love them, and why, is not something I will ever apologize for. I can only hope I’m accepted for it. I think I captured that in a cool way here.

13. Do you feel strongly one way or another about punch-ins? Will you whittle a bar down in order to account for breath control, or are you comfortable punching-in so you don’t have to sacrifice any words?

I don’t punch-in. I need to be able to do a verse from top to bottom, and I write so I can do so. It’s less a beef regarding punch-ins and more just a personal desire. I love performing my raps, so when I write/record I think about the performance a lot. Usually I perform my songs slightly differently from the recording, but I love having the “one take” energy.

14. What non-hiphop material do you turn to for inspiration? What non-music has influenced your work recently?

Interviews. I love interviews so much. I read them all the time. Listen to podcasts all the time. I love hearing other artists’ perspectives. There are artists who I’ve grown to love off of listening to their music with insight they gave in an interview. I think this underground “scene” has so many platforms with consistent in-depth interviews / music discussions. I’m immensely grateful. Love to The Rap Music Plug Podcast, Freemusicempire, Call Out Culture, The Next Movement, CineMasai with Reel Notes, literally Caltrops Press. I could go on and on. There's so many. My first interview was with my homie kiluhmanjaro for his platform: ANTII, and I know his goal is to have interviews on this level. We’re blessed in my opinion.

Lately, I’ve been tapping into a lot of movies. My goal is at least one new movie a week. I saw Mo’ Better Blues for the first time at the end of last year and that fucked me up. It was so good. I’ve been obsessed with this movie for years, Monologue, directed by Adoor Gopalakrishnan. I don’t even know why I enjoy it so much, but it’s just so moving.

There’s this book, Against the Loveless World by Palestinian-American writer Susan Abulhawa. It felt like I was a kid again the first time I read through it. I finished it in like three days. Such an amazing read on a variety of levels. This book had a huge influence on my upcoming work with Outside House.

15. Writers are often saddled with self-doubt. Do you struggle to like your own shit, or does it all sound dope to you?

I’ve definitely become more confident in my art. Everything I’ve done since I finished writing obtuse ways… in Spring of 2023 is at least pretty good. I trust my ability to write more than anything. When my gut says a line is good, then it’s good. Writing alone is easy. Rap is much more than writing though. I can be hypercritical of my pronunciation while rapping. Sometimes I get super into it and listening back there are moments that to me sound like syllables kinda just crashed together. I’m also aware that’s kinda just how I talk though. Despite this, I know when I have the right take. It’s a gut feeling, and my gut is the biggest reason I am where I am right now (maybe getting a better mic helped a bit too).

When I don’t trust myself I go to my friends, be it the ones who I make music with or those who aren’t as focused on music. My art would not be able to exist without community.

16. Who’s a rapper you listen to with such a distinguishable style that you need to resist the urge to imitate them?

ELUCID is my favorite rapper. I think it’s mad obvious he’s my favorite rapper. I’m genuinely struggling to write more, because I think listening to his music speaks for itself. Go listen to "Betamax," or "strength is admired humanity is denied," or "House Keys." I could go on, and don’t even get me started on Armand Hammer verses or insane features he’s done. What rapper wouldn’t want to be on this level? I’m grateful I’ve developed a strong sense of self because if not, I don’t know man. Fuck just living rent free, ELUCID has a city’s worth of mantras in my head. I admire what he does so much.

17. Do you have an agenda as an artist? Are there overarching concerns you want to communicate to the listener?

I hope my art communicates the main thing I want: liberation for all marginalized people. Especially Black people. That’s the throughline between every syllable. I also work my art to accurately capture who I am as a person. If the listener gets it, they do. If not, so be it. I’m not perfect, and I hope I never am. I hope to be able to learn from the world up to the moment I leave it, and my art is the best means for that.

RAPS + CRAFTS is a series of questions posed to rappers about their craft and process. It is designed to give respect and credit to their engagement with the art of songwriting. The format is inspired, in part, by Rob McLennan’s 12 or 20 interview series.

Photo credit: Grace Li @graceliphotography

[dandelion-jester]

ATTENTION LOVELY FOLLOWERS!!!

I am soon launching a writing patreon!

This is very exciting for me, as it's always been a dream of mine to write full time and this will be my first proper step into making money from my writing! Currently, getting a regular job is quite difficult for me and I am living off of my student loan, so every little extra is a pleasant surprise.

If you are interested in joining, I will be reblogging this post with the link when it is up, so keep an eye on the reblogs!

More information is below the cut, I go into detail about Tiers, rewards, and my future plans!! The current most expensive tier is only £5/month so don't hesitate to have a look!!

Tiers

I am starting out with just three, very cheap tiers although depending on the patreon's success I would like to launch more tiers in the future. Currently I think that I'll be posting every wednesday, but if that day changes in the future I will post about it ahead of time. For now, here is what I am offering:

£1 - Town Cryer: The first tier costs only £1 and as well as getting my eternal gratitude, you will receive access to my writing blog where I will post weekly articles about writing, reading, and stories at large. This will include, but not be limited to: Reviews, writing thoughts and processes, tips and tricks, introspection on the craft, resources and much more. Joining this tier will give you access to four pieces of writing a month!

£3 - Wealthy Merchant: This tier is for people who would be interested in reading my creative writing. As well as blog access, you will also get access to weekly poems/short stories written by me. I mostly write fantasy, but there will likely be sci-fi and historical fiction in the midst and who knows what else. Work will come with neccessary trigger warnings and the poetry will be accompanied by a detailed analysis. Joining this tier will give you access to eight pieces of content a month!!

£5 - Court Jester: If you want to be generous and support me and my work even further, this tier is where you will find all the behind the scenes stuff for all my current WIPS! For this tier I will be posting, amongst other tidbits: draft excerpts, thought processes, character information, art (accompanied by the appropriate text), and personal updates on my writing and how it's going. Joining this tier will give you access to 12 pieces of content a month!!!

The Future

Patreon has removed the goal feature but I still have some of my own. These will be written in the about section of the patreon but will include:

A patron discord in which to build a writing community (all tiers will be eligible)

Q&As

Higher tiers with more content

I will also be doing polls on Tumblr and my Instagram (Dandelion_jester_) to see what kind of content patrons would be most interested in seeing in the future (I'll probably do these quarterly, but it may end up being every 6 months).

If you've read this far, thank you for tagging along! And if you are thinking of joining, then thank you even more!! As I said before, watch this post for the launch!!!

[nopenototdaysatan]

Hi Satan!

It's question time!

I've been wondering, how long have you been writing? Are there poets who inspired to write? Do you have a favorite poem?

Btw your poems are really lovely, I love reading them <3

Hoshi! Hey. CX How are you doing?

I have been writing since I was a kid. I remember trying to write poems when I was like 10/12 ish. I didn't create anything I liked until I was 14/15 though. Won a contest with that one. I have that one on Tumblr as well. I have only recently brought my love of poetry into the fandom space. It's been almost a year now since I started working on Never Had the Chance which was my first and I think it will always be one of my favorites.

Yes! I am so glad you asked cause your question reminded me of what I believe was my first favorite poet. So, when I was really young (elementary school age) my teachers read from "Where the Sidewalk Ends" by Shel Silverstein. I loved those poems as a kid. As I grew and learned about more poetry and I loved it more and more. I think it was around middle school that I learned about my current favorite: Edgar Allan Poe. And in particular the poem titled Alone:

"From childhood's hour I have not been

As others were -- I have not seen

As others saw -- I could not bring

My passions from a common spring --

From the same source I have not taken

My sorrow -- I could not awaken

My heart to joy at the same tone --

And all I lov'd -- I lov'd alone --"

Those are the first 8 lines and as an undiagnosed neurodivergent kid desperately trying to be like my friends It hit me to the core. I had found a new outlet for my depression and it soared. Giving me a place to both vent and create. Alone has always been my favorite poem and I memorized it so many times in school that I still at 30 remember how I recited it.

I'm so happy you enjoy them. More is incoming! I just finished the first draft of the next chapter of H&H. I've got plans for H&H Side stories I might start writing today, and I will be starting to work on October prompts both whumpy, cozy, and otherwise this month!

(Truthfully I'm most excited for the whump. Surprisingly I'm most excited to mess with Warriors most of all. Maybe I'll give him something fluffy as well to make up for that.)

[squidkidnerd]

Operation Atlantis Notes - "An Inkling of the Past" (chapter 9)

Oh boy, this was a chapter. What can I say, this is basically like the semifinale of part 1. I've been pretty excited to get to this chapter, because it's the first time the darker elements I've been teasing since the beginning really come into focus. So, I hope you enjoyed this chapter as much as I did writing it. And hey, I'm really on a roll now! I only posted last chapter a little over a month ago!

Now, I say I enjoyed this chapter, but really all the scenes got a major rewrite except for the turfing scene. That's okay, though, because I think my first draft was kinda just me writing to get it all out and hey. You can't edit a blank page. It's just interesting, because I usually finish my draft and send it right off to my betas, but this time I did some rewriting first. But, hey, it's here now.

The Title: Woohoo, the first time I'm actually talking about the titles! Not sure if I've mentioned it before, but I really like chapter titles. They add such flavor and character to a fic that I adore. For Operation Atlantis, it's hard to pin down what they actually represent as a whole, but it's a... certain vibe, for sure. This one is one of my favorites because of the double meaning ("inkling" as a hint but also "inkling" as in a literal inkling). Splatoon loves it puns and double meanings, so I'm glad I got to honor the series and put one here.

Opening poem: So... if you read this and were like "Hey, this seems familiar..." that's because it is. It is literally a mem cake poem from OE copy and pasted straight from the wiki. The reason for this is, well, I simply couldn't write anything better. It so perfectly encapsulates the themes of this chapter and I LOVE the line "But is our fate to spray this hate?" It so perfectly encapsulates Three and Eight and why their ship is so compelling to me. Because, well, is it? Are the destined to be like Cuttlefish, Octavio, and countless other octolings and inklings and repeat the cycle of the past? Or, can they break free from it? Only time will tell...

The Nightmare™: This scene was fun to write. I really enjoyed referencing Inner Agent 3, and timing the beats of the fight to Calamari Inkantation worked really well. I think it's interesting, because the Inkantation has become a very clear ongoing symbol by now. In most cases it represents freedom and hope, but here, it's almost menacing. Up until this point, Eight has remained very separated from the Octarians vs. Inklings conflict that drove her down to Atlantis in the first place—she's read about it, but reading about something is nowhere near the same from directly experiencing it herself. She learns that brutally well in this chapter.

Flawed mentor figures: This is something I've quite enjoyed exploring in Operation Atlantis as a whole. Oftentimes in media, mentors seem infallible to their mentees, being infinitely wiser and more experienced. However, in both these scenes with Eight and Iso Padre as well as Three and Cuttlefish (well, more so the Three and Cuttlefish scene later on, but), we see that neither of them are perfect at all. Both, actually, make a similar mistake—they ignore Three and Eight's feelings. For Iso Padre, it's definitely less intentional, but still. Just something interesting I wanted to point out.

Three and Viktor: Oh look, it's Viktor! I gotta admit, this scene is here purely for future plot reasons and not much else. At least I got to introduce Three to Brellas? Idk. Also, more exploration of Three using turf as a coping mechanism! It makes sense, you know, because it's familiar to her in a place where everything else is unfamiliar. So, yeah.

The Incident™: Oh boy. This scene is something we've been building up to for a while, starting all the way back in chapter 6... maybe even earlier. And I've gotta be honest, it perfectly encapsulates Three and Eight's relationship at this point at the story. They're friends, but both of them are ignoring and even refusing to acknowledge the dirty laundry between them... but the thing about dirty laundry is you have to wash it or else it'll start to stink. And that's exactly what happens here. Eight might not realize it, but deep down there's a part of her that's scared of Three. And Three well... she's a scary person to Eight. Both of them are forced to realize this. I also really enjoyed calling back to the first scene with the ink colors and also with Eight's hands—in the first scene, she hallucinates that there's blood and orange ink on them, and here, there actually is. Cool.

"She's not my enemy": This was a satisfying scene to write. Three's done a lot of growing in the past 9 chapters, from assuming all octolings are her enemies to realizing there's a bigger threat and then... now, this. She already told Eight this in chapter 8, but what makes so special here is that she's telling it to Cuttlefish, the man who instilled that idea in her in the first place. It's the first time she's telling him "No, you're wrong." So, for that reason, I like this scene. Three is finally calling him out on his bullshit! Somewhat! As soon as Cuttlefish (basically) threatens her, she backs down because well, she's scared that he might end up being right. But still, I'm proud of you, bestie. One step at a time.

"Do you know what it feels like to forget?": Another banger of a scene, this time from Eight. And well... what is there to say about this? We've been building up to it since the beginning. So far, Eight's arc has all been about finding her identity and asserting herself as a person, and well... here's the ultimate form of that. She's making a choice not for anyone else but herself. How will it go? We'll just have to see next chapter!

So yeah. To close out, I just want to mention something briefly about Side Order and its lore about sanitization and Eight's amnesia: I'm ignoring it. It's not canon to this AU. I've thought up something different a long time ago, and this already isn't canon compliant so I'm not changing it. Just wanted to clear that up officially.

Anyways... chapter 9! I can't believe we're here, honestly. Working on this fic over the past year or two has been rough, but I'm trucking along slowly but surely. Speaking of slowly but surely... after chapter 10, this fic will be going on hiatus. This is for several reason, the most major of which is that I'm burnt out and need to regain my motivation by working on other things. Those other "things" include Side Order fics! Yay! But rest assured, I will return to Operation Atlantis eventually. I really want to finish this story, and that's exactly why I'm going to take this hiatus. The last thing I want is to become so burnt out that I don't even want to continue anymore. So yeah. The hiatus doesn't have a set length yet, but probably to the end of the summer, if not longer. Not sure yet. But rest assured, neither me nor this fic is going anywhere!

And that's all. Happy Springfest!

[musefictions]

2023 Writing Wrap-Up

I shook things up this year and recorded my writing process each month of this year- everything I wrote, edited, submitted to a literary magazine, or got published. So I got some stats for you today!

Everything I wrote:

13 short fiction/flash fiction pieces, 3 poems, and 1 creative nonfiction piece, for a total of 17.

These are the finished ones (I have a notebook full of scraps of lines or paragraphs that came to me that never turned into anything.) There are several that just didn't work out and I'm not pursuing them, at least for now.

Short fiction rejections:

A whopping 47! *air horns*

Short Fiction Publications:

3! (I had 4 acceptances, but we'll get to that.)

The Most Inaccurate Map in the World came out this February in Screen Door Review!

Logline: A mother newly living out of her car tries to turn the situation into an adventure for her daughter.

Imitates Life is coming out around February 2024 in The Gateway Review!

Logline: Sculptor whose creations come to life attempts to make the perfect man. This goes just as awry as you might expect.

When to Tell Your Date You're the Chupacabra is coming out in January 2024 in Over/Exposed!

...Yeah, this one is exactly what it sounds like from the title.

It got accepted by two places at the same time. This was the fastest any of my works have been picked up- I drafted it in October, two months before it was accepted.

Favorite thing I wrote:

Wet, Crooked Colt, which is about two people on the ace spectrum navigating sex. (You bet your ass I named a story Wet, Crooked Colt.)

The runner-ups are Chupacabra, which you'll see soon, and an unpublished short story that I hope will be published in 2024 (I don't like revealing much about unpublished things, but you best believe I will not shut up about them once they're out.)

When I sat down to think about why these three are my favorites, my conclusion was that they feel the most raw and honest. This year, a lot of personal experiences crept into my work, and I didn't shy away from more personal topics in general.

They also mark my style starting to change!

None of these feel like traditional Jenna stories. I look at them and think, "I made that?" It's a weird sensation. (I ended up disliking the stories I wrote this year that did feel more like traditional Jenna stories.) I've been getting weirder ideas and experimenting more with form, and instead of choppy sentences, I bounced to the other stylistic extreme and now I'm into run-ons. I love this direction and the feeling that I'm in a new era!

How I feel about my writing year:

Mixed.

I miss having a long project like a novel or novella. Lately my writing process has been like, "get an idea, get excited that I have an idea, write and edit it within the span of a few days, finish it and be sad about it."

It wasn't so much lack of motivation I struggled with this year but lack of inspiration. Maybe it's lingering effects of burnout since I had a lot of big life events (mostly good things! I graduated and started the first job I actually like! but still burnout-inducing things!)

On the plus side: this was the year I started seriously submitting to magazines, and I'm BEYOND excited about the publications. I have a much better idea of the theme tying my collection together, and I feel like the collection is taking shape.

I'm sending good vibes for 2024! If anyone has publications or snippets you want to hype up, drop them in the comments below- I'd love to check them out!

[kookaburra1701]

Summer WIP tag game!

I was tagged by @thana-topsy, I am so excited about what might happen with Halfway to the Sky, I am 💓vibrating💓 and also 👀 at a potential Dark Brotherhood story

I tag @ms-katonic-of-tamriel @mswhich @canonicallymoriche

1) Describe one creative WIP project you’re planning to work on over the summer.

I am working on a trilogy of novel-length fics called Wives of Shor (WIP snippet here: Moth to Flame.) It's a fic that started out as a pastiche of bodice-ripper romances starring Kaidan and Lucien Flavius getting sex-pollened by Sanguine, but it has become a tale about loving someone from an entirely different background than you, having a crisis of faith, and learning how to move on and live a good life when you've done unspeakably terrible things in the past.

I'm planning on having the entire first novel written out + at least most of first drafts of the second and third before beginning to post, so it will be awhile.

OK the game says one but screw that here's some other WIPs I'd like to chip away at, even if they aren't my highest priority:

A Wives of Shor prequel that explains why Lucien only made it to Falkreath before deciding that he REALLY needed some protection on the road.

A fic that explains why there's a bandit trapped in a hay bale in Swindler's Den when a) hay bales require industrial machinery to produce and b) who the hell was baling hay inside a cave. It will also explore the character of Ennis, the goat farmer in Rorikstead, and his relationships with other characters from Rorikstead.

Because I Could Not Stop for Death a short-ish novella that explores how Thane Bryling navigates the transition of being ruled by High King Torygg to his young bride, Elisif the Fair. It was inspired after I noticed that the Holy 80s High School Movie Girl Trinity of Jock-Prep-Goth was present in Bryling, Elisif, and Sybille Stentor. (Yes, all the chapter titles are Emily Dickinson poems ha ha)

I'd really like to get the full summary/outline of a fic my friend TheInducer and I yes-anded into existence. It involves a retelling of the Odyssey by way of Mor Khazgur needing to find a new Chief after theirs went missing. TheInducer did a great write-up on the theory we came up with on r/teslore: Durak is (probably) from Mor Khazgur.

And of course, I continue to hope I will be seized once again by the fit of utter depravity that caused me to write 2K words of Sanguine/Hermaeus Mora tentacle porn a few months ago called La☆Blue Daedra so I can actually finish it and inflict it on the rest of fandom.

2) Rec a book:

The Search for Delicious by Natalie Babbitt. Her first novel is often overlooked by more celebrated/literary ones like Tuck Everlasting but to me this book is the quintessential fantasy story, and it's a very fast read without sacrificing vivid world building and descriptions. Here's my favorite, I think about it whenever I'm struggling with trying to describe something:

There was a lovely greenish glow in the forest, a glow pierced everywhere by tree trunks like fingers thrust into an aquarium full of tinted water; and Gaylen slipped between them like a small fish. With the trees all around him and the rain dancing on the leaves high over his head, he felt as if he were going deeper and deeper into a world that existed tranquil and quite separate from the one he had left behind.

3) Rec a fic:

I have an entire bookmark collection of The Elder Scrolls fic recs!

If I must pick one for this tag game, it would be Like Lightning by Jotting Prosaist. This fic single-handedly changed my opinion on 2nd person POV. It's absolutely masterful and I couldn't imagine experiencing the story it tells any other way. Mind the warnings, it goes to some very raw places.

4) Rec music:

Uh, my musical taste is...eclectic. I guess right now I've been on an early European music and metal kick, so I guess Corvus Corax fits the bill.

5) Share one piece of advice.

Floss daily, check your fire extinguishers and smoke alarms twice a year.

[ilgaksu]

For the fic writer emoji ask: 👀🦅❌

Not for the ask: 💖🌸🕶

so some uniqlo stores allow custom embroidery on items from uniqlo, and i definitely considered getting the heihua flower and black glasses on my bag. i got two little cats instead, but one of them is pink, so?

from these fic writer asks

👀 Tell me about an up and coming wip please!

i am trying this year to do more seasonal fics, because that's something i love, and so i have a period-accurate 1980s AU based on the film The Lost Boys for halloween. hei xiazi is a vampire and carnie, xiao hua wears high-waisted jeans and pastel graphic button up shirts, and wu xie has no idea for half of the AU that vampires exist.

in terms of canon-aligned fic, i have a fic dealing with xiao hua, transness, dysphoria, and cohen's 7 monster theses, but the fic itself is very draining in terms of focus to make the intensity of emotional expression land, so it's slow-going.

and in terms of a different fandom, i am slowly sliding into mysterious lotus casebook, and i have about 3 fic ideas already, i just have to actually finish the show first.

🦅 Do you outline fics or fly by the seat of your pants?

i have no written outlines for a fic, ever. often, the fic you see is a first draft because i often redraft at the point of writing, and because i do not have any beta (i have sensitivity readers and friends who give second opinions, but no beta. all the sins and errors in my fic are my fault).

for example, wicked and loving lies was a first draft written entirely in 48 hours bar for one passage which had been picked over and sat in a google doc for months. the centre of every poem was written in one sitting of four hours long. it risks a lot of issues with cinnamon words (or where the same word shows up too many times for my liking) and also is why there are often slight edits later on when i can sit and reread it.

even for long multi-chap fics, the no-written-outlines remains the same. for aus, all the details of worldbuilding are also from memory. all the callbacks and extended metaphors are also purely memorised, and not just for fic, but across whole extended canon universes (if you look, the heihua extended universe all interconnects and calls back to each other thematically and with certain metaphors and phrases). if i ever die midway through a fic, you're all screwed, because there won't be any evidence but for my discord group chats about how it was meant to end.

❌ What’s a trope you will never write?

SEE, I TRY NEVER TO SAY NEVER, BECAUSE IT WILL COME BACK TO BITE ME IN THE ASS. and often i take tropes i dislike the longstanding interpretation of and try and reinvent them, so while there are tropes i hate to read personally, i can't say i wouldn't ever try and write them. in fact, i've often written things precisely because of how i'm not sure if i can make it work, because i like the challenge.

.....wait, can i say disability as cheap tragedy porn? because every time i see disability done as cheap tragedy porn, i have the emotional equivalent of hearing a nuclear warning strike siren.

listen, i'm literally lying on my bed right now staring at the ceiling trying to contemplate tropes i wouldn't write. sorry, i think you have stumped me with this one, so well done.

[jaydeiswriting]

December Update

Hi! Happy new year! This new approach to tumblr-ing has been serving me so well so far. It's very much like this year's poetry month when I interacted with poetry in some way daily, even if it was just 3 minutes of actually listening to poetic song lyrics. It's so easy for me to forget that I need to consume a lot of art to produce anything of my own and feel excited about writing (plus it does wonders for winter blues). I currently feel very full of words and I've also got an itch to pull out the watercolours. But, onto things I read and wrote last month...

My Reading

Beast at Every Threshold by Natalie Wee (poetry) — link to web publications

Holy Wild by Gwen Benaway (poetry, reread) — link to a reading from this collection

Sirens & Muses by Antonia Angress (novel)

A handful of individual poems and short stories, many from the writeblr community here. Y'all are lovely (I usually reblog & tag: other people's writing)

Fiction

I wrote a short story "To Serenade a Ghost" as an ode to saxophone because I miss it very much. Somehow, it became a story about an unnamed narrator grieving their dead saxophonist lover when they see one at the thrift shop they work at. It just little, 1.2K, but I'm ripe with revision ideas

I've been brainstorming, too, 2-3 short story concepts are now decent roadmaps for future drafts to be written sometime soon

Poetry

I wrote a series of 3 poems I refer to as "bottle rot," exploring dentition as a site for identity (and identity decay) because a) isotopic analysis of teeth can reveal birthplace and b) people can be identified in death by dental records. The trio plays with perversions of identity through dental issues. I've already essentially discarded two of these poems, but one has been asking to be more complex and meaningful and I'm about halfway through editing it to meet that higher standard.

I wrote a poem about a haircut in a bathroom sink that's revealed itself to be about assimilation and how it erases the self. Perfect thematic match to that bottle rot idea despite not being written as such.

Finally, I wrote a self-portrait poem in a very quick, indulgent writing session that I took a few days to revise and has turned out very well.

These 3 poems that I actually like made me realize that I tricked myself into writing Obeah Woman poems by telling myself I could write something separate instead. They all just slot nearly perfectly into the first section. I'm considering submitting them after I finish those revisions, but vulnerability, yuck. 2023 goal is to get over that 😂

[onedivinemisfit]

2022 Creator’s Self-Love Extravaganza

Rules: It’s time to love yourselves! Choose your 5 favorite works (fics, art, edits, etc.) you’ve created this year and link them below to reflect on the amazing things you’ve brought into the world in 2022. If you don’t have five published works, that’s fine! Include ideas/drafts/whatever you like that you’ve worked on/thought about, and talk a little about them instead! Remember, this is all about self-love and positive enthusiasm, so fuck the rules if you need to. Have fun, and tag as many fellow creators as you like so they can share the love!

Tagged by @bubblesthemonsterartist tho I daresay I am fashionably late at this point, more than two weeks into the new year. Did I forget? Maaaaybe. Which brings us right to the main problem;

I barely remember. Like. 2022. At all. Things happened, I’m sure, but it’s as if there’s a fine layer of mist atop my memories, stopping me from really seeing them. Last year wasn’t really very kind to me. For every up, three downs followed, and between two failed surgeries, a bout of covid, and then whatever the hell kind of flare happened in the autumn… yeah. Idek. It is what it is.

As such, I can’t really comment on my art as like, a whole process, this year. It just existed in the ‘now’, which is presently the ‘then’. I know I beat my submission record from last year, but it felt like a meaningless victory. Despite everything, I can feel it in my hand now, when I draw, that some progress has been made. Subconsciously perhaps, but it’s there.

Onto the ranking then! (I just had to pull up the archive cuz fuck if I remember what I posted, and when)

1.

*deep sigh* we all saw this coming, didn’t we? As much as I love, I curse this image, for in hindsight it felt as if all my creative energy for the entire damned year went into this one piece! Like how dare! But yes it is one of my best redraws ever, and more so than the characters, I feel like I added to the background something even better than the original. There, I said it.

2.

Omigod this entire thiiiiiing. Were it not for the redraw, this would be the top spot. I can’t explain, so many ideas are left in the brain for countless hours, days, months, YEARS. This was two years in the making, and never before did I manage to recreate something that had the exact same vibe as it looked in my imagination. Especially because I’m not a comic creator, hashtag compulsive disclaimer lol. Also while I was drawing it, seeing people go from “hmmm what’s this?” to “wait is that-?” and then “ooooooh it is the lead-up to The Thing” was priceless.

3.

A last-second outlier comes in third. I admit to making this in a hurry, just to have something really nice to show for december (a month which is usually a highly productive month to me, but 2022 didn’t let me have that either) and as such, since I was struggling, both with a deadline, and a lack of real inspiration, I feel like. I managed to improve, somehow. Call it magic, but this looks noticeably different to many of my other colored pieces.

4.

To be perfectly honest, this was a sketch. People might not think it one, for it has details, a color scheme, and even effects - but at the time I posted it, this was just a colorized sketch in my mind. Tumblr disagreed. And I was left in awe watching this first get reblogged within the fandom, then beyond, then go through a hanfu appreciation blog, and finally reblogged with a truly tender chinese poem attached that said person felt gave them the same vibe as what I had drawn. The people spoke, and I was both awed and humbled, and I learned a valuable lesson in humanity relating to art.

5.

Unlike the others, this was a conscious attempt at something different. I can’t really say why it should go in the fifth spot, but it does; i spent a lot more time than usual on composition, colors, and most importantly, mood setting. And putting characters so solidly into the middleground can be a challenge in itself for me, as I run the risk of getting storybook-ish. Which would’ve been disastrous for a scene like this.

Honorable mention;

Coping through art. @bubblesthemonsterartist has the honor of inspiring this, or like, being the one to “give me” the go-ahead to channel some of my experiences through the characters and story-telling in general. Back pain is something I know all too well, and it was well and truly therapeutic. I also got to do another test of “can I retell this scene, even if I switch part of the cast and premise?” And it seems I did. I will always remember @what-plant-metaphor-am-i ‘s tag; ‘# I feel like I just watched an entire episode XD’ <- never has my inner storyteller been more validated.

There, that wasn’t so hard! Sometimes I’m really thankful for the internet, and timestamps, and kicking my memory back into gear etc… anyway, since I am so woefully late to the party, I’m not tagging anyone specifically; if you wanna be fashionably late too, you know who tagged you~

[intheseautumnhands]

AO3 Wrapped: 3, 6, 17, 29?

3. What work are you most proud of (regardless of kudos/hits)?

Sheerly for the fact that I finally did it, it's gotta be the Steve/Peggy vid to Kill the Director. It was a learning process and I am honestly still really happy with it, even if I’ve gotten to the point where I can’t help seeing flaws.

Fic-wise, it's either the Hadestown soulmate fic I wrote for Hurt/Comfort Exchange, which I just think came out really well, or some truths get tired the longer we wait, where I am just damn proud of finally finishing something that ended up going past 5k.

6. Favorite title you used

I really like when I come up with titles that have a second layer of meaning that can easily go missed, either in relation to the reference (because pretty much all my titles are song lyrics or poem lines) or the canon or whatever. So I really like the title from the Fraiser fic I did for seasons of drabbles, which is about the three wives of Niles Crane -- "Give Him Your Hand Today", which is from a Guys and Dolls song that includes the line, "marry the man today and change his ways tomorrow". It fits the problems with marriages 1 and 2 very, very well.

Similarly, the Jack Murdock ficlet for the three sentence fest is called "there's no such thing as an unhaunted house", from a Brenna Twohy poem. On the surface, it fits Jack's wanting to give Matt somewhere to come home to that's not bogged down with bad memories like his own; but it also alludes to the way Jack's going to leave Matt with his own haunting in the end in a way that I really liked.

17. Your favorite character to write this year?

I have had a Kasimir Jones problem for two years running and it doesn’t look like it’s going anywhere anytime soon. He has eaten a corner of my brain, it’s almost on par with the Abigail Hobbs/River Tam problem at this point.

29. Favorite line/passage you wrote this year?

From fic that’s been posted:

The first year Hades came to fetch her early, Persephone hadn’t thought much of it.

It was a matter of days, then, not weeks or months, and the hand he’d reached out to her had been unsteady. He’d looked ashamed to be there already, shamed to be standing in her mother’s garden instead of meeting her at the station. That he hadn’t held out against the pain, maybe. He’d always taken it harder than her, but she hadn’t held that against him yet. How could she? She had the flowers and the vines, the seeds, her mother, the sun and the sky— a million little balms to help her push through the pain. All he had was the waiting.

(The Steady Beat of Our Bloodstreams)

Runner-up: the three-sentence fic about Lilith and ghosts

From drafts:

"You know, the first time I've ever stepped foot out of this city was our trip to the Deathlands." He stops, not sure how to explain the rest of it from there, but Lilith's smile is soft and sad, and he's not sure he needs to explain all of it for her. "I need to see what happens to it now," is all he says, and she nods.

"I thought so," she admits. She stands up, and for a moment Kasimir thinks she's leaving, but instead she darts forward. The hug is unexpected, but he wraps his arms around her tightly and lets her hold on as long as she feels the need. The snakes rustle against his shoulder; it's a strange sensation. He's almost sad he won't get a chance to get used to it.

He swipes at his eyes as she pulls away. Lilith, kindly, doesn't say anything about it.

(the art of living with a ticking heart, Blades fic which I started the night after the finale and am still trying to finish, whoops)

( AO3 Wrapped Writer’s Edition )

[onewingedsparrow]

For the ao3 wrapped [writer’s edition] from earlier this month:

3. What work are you most proud of (regardless of kudos/hits)?

18. The character that gave you the most trouble writing this year?

30. Biggest surprise while writing this year?

(P.S. I had planned to ask you sooner, but then I dropped the ask post in my drafts to “remind myself” to do it and proceeded to let things pile up above it. 😂😅)

(For this ask game! Buried in my blog rn, I reblog so much stuff. Feel free to send more asks if you want though! I don't mind.) 3. What work are you most proud of (regardless of kudos/hits)? Hmm...that's tough, at present I can't say there's a work I'm "most" proud of. Each one is very near and dear to me; if they weren't, I wouldn't have written them, you know? But among my lower-hit works, I'm really happy with my figure poems. :D "The Master Sword" was written so many years ago, and a lot of my past Zelda writing is genuinely cringe, lol, but that one held up against the flow of time. I'm proud of my past self for working so hard on it. And while I don't consider "That's the...Brand of the Exalt" to be as skillful a poem as its predecessor, since it doesn't have a rhythm or rhyme, I'm honestly so happy with how the words just spilled from my heart into the shape of the brand. That emblem has always been special to me, and that poem will always be so as well. 18. The character that gave you the most trouble writing this year? From Fire Emblem: Three Houses, Dimitri, Dedue and Sylvain haven't vibed with me yet, so my authorly brain finds it hard to write from their perspectives. I'm playing through the Blue Lions route though, so hopefully once I hit Azure Moon their full character arcs will click with me! 30. Biggest surprise while writing this year? Ooh, that's tough! Well, I wasn't planning on writing "Find Our Way," "Ever With Me" or "That's the...Brand of the Exalt" at all. They just happened! "Find Our Way" is actually a published first draft. That rarely happens among my fics; I tend to polish and ponder and perfect fics for hours, days, weeks...even years for the longest ones. But that one was ready to go right out of the gates, and I felt like someone needed to read it that night, so I set it free. And this has always amazed me, but "To Bee a Leader" keeps getting consistent hits and kudos on AO3...so many. I never expected it to get such traction, but it makes me happy that so many people are connecting to it. I love how relatable Prime in Disguise 'Bee is, and it warms my heart to know through my words, other people can find that too.

Trying very hard to not answer these questions with too many multiple answers, lol

[hyperbolicgrinch]

1, 15, 17, 20, 23, 25 ! <3

(I'm finally here!! Thank you, Bang 😊💕 )

1: Is writing cathartic or stressful for you?

I think writing is more cathartic for me. At a certain point anyway, pfft. The rest of the time I'm just trying not to talk myself out of it. 😅 It becomes stressful when it's been too long without noticeable progress tho. 😅

15: Which fic that you’ve written relates to you and your personal life the most?

Oooo, hhrrmmm, I guess I did play rugby so pfft maybe the All Out ones??? Bwahaha but otherwise, none, really?? I'm v boring 😋

17: What has been the proudest moment for you so far since you started writing?

oh, when my sister reads my stuff and says she loves it 😌

20: Which fic have you put the most work into? Which fic have you put the least work into?

atm? probably "temporary alliance". It's passed 100 pages and still has a massive amount to go but I've put like five months into it at this point 😵‍💫 and that's only timewise so that's big for me because I have commitment issues 😅

Least amount? maybe my little zolu scribbles I do while rewatching one piece?? don't really have to go research or do much planning for them. They're more little snippets that I bust out (and then leave to fade from existence in my drafts 😅)

23: What’s one piece of advice you would give to anyone who wants to start writing or posting their writing online?

ONE PIECE?!? adsdhggjj no, no, um, hmm.

For posting... well, you know how you go "oh I wish there was a fic like this or that did that or explored [insert something here]"? And you look and sometimes you don't find exactly it but you do find something similar and it scratches the itch? You could be that for someone else. They could be hunting down a certain fic and if you posted it, you'd suddenly be making their day. We should write for ourselves first, undoubtedly. But it's nice to think that out there someone is waiting to connect with your writing. Helps get me over the ledge sometimes when I'm hesitating to share, so hmm, maybe it's advice enough?? But mainly just to remember why you started and even if there are some arseholes, more often you find your people.

I guess my advice for wanting to start writing and that's not mine is "do it badly" and "the time will pass anyway". Saturated yourself in reading and you'll tip over and spill your own words onto the page eventually. They may be awful or not very good or you may hate them but they are your first steps. 😁

There's also a poem or essay, I guess, by strangest loop called "things that aren't doing the thing" and while I think there is room to argue it a little in certain circumstances, especially with writing where you need to be a sponge and also do so much research ect, it is still something that I often think about a lot when I'm sitting down to actually write and keep getting distracted or procrastinating or when I'm down about what I'm working on:

"Preparing to do the thing isn't doing the thing.

Scheduling time to do the thing isn't doing the thing.

Making a to-do list for the thing isn't doing the thing.

Telling people you're going to do the thing isn't doing the thing.

Messaging friends who may or may not be doing the thing isn't doing the thing.

Writing a banger tweet about how you're going to do the thing isn't doing the thing.

Hating on yourself for not doing the thing isn't doing the thing. Hating on other people who have done the thing isn't doing the thing. Hating on the obstacles in the way of doing the thing isn't doing the thing.

Fantasizing about all of the adoration you'll receive once you do the thing isn't doing the thing.

Reading about how to do the thing isn't doing the thing.

Reading about how other people did the thing isn't doing the thing.

Reading this essay isn't doing the thing.

The only thing that is doing the thing is doing the thing."

On the other end, when it's about starting out and also just how to go about writing and getting better, there's the quote (one of many) by Terry Pratchett from A Slip Of the Keyboard that lives rent free in my mind:

"So, instead, I give tips on how to be a professional boxer. A good diet is essential, of course, as is a daily regime of exercise. Pay attention to your footwork, it will often get you into trouble. Go down to the gym every day – every day of your life that finds you waking up capable of standing. Take every opportunity to watch a good professional fight. In fact watch as many bouts as you can, because you can even learn something from the fighters who get it wrong. Don’t listen to what they say, watch what they do. And don’t forget the diet and the exercise and the roadwork.

Got it? Well, becoming a writer is basically exactly the same thing, except that it isn’t about boxing."

25: If you could remove one character from [insert fic]’s universe, who would it be? Why?

Okay I might be mad but I see any difficult or annoying characters as a fun challenge when doing fic so I always try to make myself accept them as there and find interesting ways to play with them. No Thanos snap for me! I also usually just don't write in characters that I don't wanna deal with so there's that too. 😅😂

[squidkidnerd]

Operation Atlantis Notes - "Coffeemaking and Crime" (chapter 7)

Alright, this will probably be even shorter this time because I'm tired and just glad I finally finished this chapter lol. This actually only took around a month to draft (which as you know, for me is pretty fast lol), but one of my betas was busy so it took them a while to actually get to the chapter and then when they did I was lazy so... yeah. Also happy holidays!

This chapter is a bit shorter than average, but I think that's okay. Like chapter 6, it's also a transitional chapter, but more... plot-based? Chapter 6 focuses a lot on Three and Eight's internal experiences and thoughts, while this one focuses a lot more on external conflicts. Also, it introduces Pearl and Marina! More on them later.

Opening poem: This one was pretty difficult to come up with, but ultimately I like what I came up with. As you could've guessed, it's Eight's thoughts on the octarian immigrants she meets throughout this chapter, and what they must've gone through. What was it like, upending their entire lives to live in an entirely different place? Eight doesn't really know, so that's what she's wondering about.

Atlantis at night: This scene was fun to write. While most of the time, Atlantis is a fun, lively city, we all know there's more to it than that. Much more. I enjoyed eluding to that here, with the city showing some more of its true, creepy colors. I also added some sanitized octarians, because Three, and well to an extent, us, don't really know what they are. What are they? Something... not good, certainly.

Sleepy Three: Yay, some Eight and Three interaction! I feel kinda... bad, because I feel like they haven't been interacting as much as they should be after chapter 5, but I think it's okay. They're busy people, after all. Anyways this was cute and fun, they're both so gay but they do not realize it.

The Octarian Society: Oh look, it's these guys. Yeah, they've been mentioned as early as chapter 3, but we really haven't got anything substantial on them... until now, of course. As for why Azalea is here, well, I thought it would make sense since she's an octoling and also, like a therapist... look, it was more interesting than having just a random guy there. As for the argument that ensues here, I wanted to give more insight into why everyone's so upset about Three. These people are all refugees, they left everything they knew to find a place they thought would be better... but unfortunately, they still carry fear with them. What better target of that fear than an inkling, their greatest foe? Eight doesn't understand this, though, and I just wanted to emphasize how separate that makes her from them. Yeah, she's an octoling, but is she really if she hasn't had the same experiences as them? It's a detail I haven't seen that many people touch on, and I was happy I got to touch on it here.

Vent sneaking and Caesar cipher: Guys look, it's (some) action! Yeah, obviously Three's going to avoid fighting as much as possible because she doesn't want to be found out and captured lol. We also got some classic vent action, which I feel is slightly less implausible because of inkfishs' swim forms? Yeah. Also, the Caesar cipher. I included it as a little twist of "the password is on the sticky note" trope, and also because my sister kept sending me emails in Caesar cipher and my friend (who is actually one of the betas) made a whole-ass decoding spreadsheet. But... as Three soon figures out, unlocking the computer doesn't really mean anything. Yeah, Kamabo is very secretive and thus, they have passwords for everything. Oh well. If only there was someone who could help Three and Cuttlefish with that...

Pearl and Marina: THEY'RE FINALLY HERE!!!!!! Yeah, I had a blast writing this scene. They're both so much fun to write, in particular Pearl. She has a very distinct and expressive character voice to me, and I feel like I did a good job capturing her energy. Man, it's crime that I've never really written these too... quick guys give me Pearlina fic ideas (joke... half-joke). Also, based on this AU's circumstances, it makes much more sense for them to connect with Three and Cuttlefish than Eight and Cuttlefish, which makes me sad because I like when Eight bonds with them, but alas. They meet her eventually.

Annnd that's it! This is my Christmas/end-of-year gift to you all, you're welcome. Hope you all have a happy holidays and wonderful new years! Man, I can't believe it's almost 2024... I still feel like I'm in middle school sometimes lol. My college apps are finally done and I got into my top choice, so yay! I can already feel the senioritis setting in though, lol. Hey, that just means I might write more to keep up my motivation lol. I've already started drafting chapter 8, if I'm lucky it'll be out by February, probably.

Also, I mentioned doing a one-year anniversary thing earlier, but I don't think I'll do that... I'm thinking of a little celebration once we reach the end of part 1, which is only 3 chapters away (!!!). I read a social media fic recently and it was fun, I was thinking of doing something similar? Don't know how it would work though. Let me know if you guys have any ideas!